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1
00:01:26,498 --> 00:01:38,498

2
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:41,233
Brady?

3
00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:44,536
- Hey, babe, it's me.

4
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:51,043
Hey. I took the red-eye,
I wanted to surprise you.

5
00:01:51,045 --> 00:01:53,112
- Surprise.

6
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,913
So, how was it?

7
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,683
- It was great, actually.
- Good.

8
00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:01,286
- I met DMC. Run DMC.

9
00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,655
- What?
- Yeah. He's adopted, too.

10
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,158
He was telling me he spent
his entire life in queens

11
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,060
just a couple blocks away
from his birth mother.

12
00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:09,895
- Never knew it.
- Wow.

13
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:12,331
- And they were talking about
fate and if he wasn't adopted,

14
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,633
would he ever have been
in run DMC? It was cool.

15
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,469
- That's crazy.
- It's like you.

16
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,105
See? It's fate, babe.

17
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:22,307
- Fate, god, whatever,
I'm happy.

18
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:26,512
- Oh, cougar breath.
- Okay.

19
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:29,681
A little role-play,
no kissing. I like it.

20
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:33,519
- I'm on my period, babe.
- That's okay. Okay.

21
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,254
I remember when we
first started dating.

22
00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,122
We'd have sex whether
you were on your period

23
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:39,057
or the house was burning down.

24
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:41,693
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

25
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:11,924
- What the fuck is this?
- What is that?

26
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:15,194
"She told me she had
a boyfriend the morning after."

27
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:17,095
- Wait, what?
- Where did you get that?

28
00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:19,331
- Maybe if you didn't nag me
to put the toilet seat up

29
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:22,334
all the time...
Let me see the string.

30
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,835
- What?
- You have your period.

31
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,003
Let me see the string!

32
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:29,708
- Look, Brady, I'm sorry.

33
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:33,946
I got really drunk, I didn't
know what I was doing.

34
00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:36,615
I'm sorry.

35
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:40,786
- Well, happy fucking birthday
to me.

36
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,604
What?

37
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:04,977
"Gremlins"? You want me to do
a reboot of "gremlins"?

38
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,548
Okay, I tell you what.

39
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,951
I will do a remake
of "gremlins," but this time

40
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:16,989
can't it be a racist
commentary against white people?

41
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:20,459
Yeah. Well, the original
was just a racist movie

42
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,494
about a bunch of troublemaking
dark-skinned critters

43
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,529
afraid of water,
break dancing to rap music,

44
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,999
staying up all night and eating
fucking fried chicken.

45
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:30,435
Hello?

46
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,970
Fuck, dude.

47
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,106
- How long do you think
this has been going on for?

48
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:37,276
- 'Cause I replay it like...
- dude. Fuck her.

49
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,877
Come on. It's your birthday.

50
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,846
Let's get shit-canned. Do
you have to work this weekend?

51
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:43,815
- Yeah, I do, actually. I have
to fucking take meetings

52
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:46,285
for that lesbian action movie,
"hurricane dykes."

53
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,920
- All right, I should be
fucking directing that.

54
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:51,556
Come on. Can't you get me
a meeting Sy?

55
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:52,958
- You can maybe get him
a cup of coffee.

56
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,060
- I thought you were
my best friend. Wow.

57
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:57,863
- I can't just get you a job,
okay? That's not how it works.

58
00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,998
- No, it's fine. You'll see.
- One day

59
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,367
I'm gonna have a project that's
gonna blow your fuckin' mind...

60
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,403
But you'll just pass it up

61
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:06,805
'cause you're thinkin'
about your fucking girlfriend.

62
00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,408
- Ex-girlfriend.
- What are you working on now?

63
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,476
- Funny you should ask.
- 'Cause I've got

64
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,979
the most amazing fucking story
you've ever heard.

65
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,181
"Batshit," tale to the heart
of darkness,

66
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:19,451
classic black-hat villain,
twists, turns, danger, drugs.

67
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,386
Unexpected love.

68
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,388
- Sounds great, man.
- Sounds fucking great.

69
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,790
- You guys ready to order?

70
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,725
- I'd like the French toast,
please

71
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,927
and more coffee, whenever
you get a chance. Thanks, man.

72
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,762
- And for you?
- Yeah, eggs Florentine

73
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,831
with the poached, and a bagel
instead of the English.

74
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,633
- Did you just get a bagel?
- Yes, I did.

75
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,335
- I'm impressed. Wow.

76
00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,570
- If you caught your brother
with his dick in a bagel hole

77
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,138
when you were 11.

78
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:43,508
- He likes lots of cream cheese.
- No cream cheese.

79
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,610
I don't think I can ever
have cream cheese again.

80
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:49,081
- But thanks.
- Thanks, man.

81
00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:50,549
- Oh, hey, look.
- Before I forget.

82
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:54,686
Happy birthday, buddy.

83
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,154
- Wow!

84
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:59,324
You really broke out Bruce's
black card for this, huh?

85
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,093
- Look at it.

86
00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:03,428
- Tijuana?

87
00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:06,631
- Tijuana? What do you think,
I'm half a fag?

88
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,334
Tijuana's for pussy tourists
and college students.

89
00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,169
You know what? I thought
we could get a couple

90
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,939
of wheelchairs and role-play
"born on the fourth of July."

91
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,741
Dude, your girlfriend
cheated on you.

92
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:18,677
So you've got no choice
but to go to Mexico,

93
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,045
find the dirtiest hotel room

94
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,080
and fuck the grossest hooker
we can find.

95
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:25,484
So no, I am not taking you
to Tijuana.

96
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:29,154
I am taking you
to the "real" Mexico.

97
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:52,744
- Drug roulette? Drug roulette?
- No.

98
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,415
- I don't want to play drug roulette, man.
- Come on.

99
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,116
- Have you actually been
to Mexicali before?

100
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,185
What's the danger level
we're looking at here?

101
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:03,822
- It isn't number one on the top ten
most dangerous cities in Mexico.

102
00:07:03,824 --> 00:07:06,258
Okay, look,
would you stop worrying?

103
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:09,461
Please. Come on, dude, look.
I've taken care of everything.

104
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:11,563
- Does your dad know you
have this?

105
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,432
- Mm. Only way that soulless
bastard shows affection.

106
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:16,468
- Yeah, at least you got one
to be disappointed in, man.

107
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,736
- Didn't you find your real dad?

108
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,504
Granted, he's got a whole
other family

109
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,540
and doesn't give two shits
about you

110
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,742
but fucking look at you, man.

111
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:26,411
You are one step away
from the most powerful guy

112
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,646
in Hollywood.

113
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,748
Who, by the way,
treats you more like a son

114
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,516
than my dad does me.

115
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:37,856
What's the yellow one?
Is that Adderall or Propecia?

116
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,834
Okay. That's like
the tenth fucking time

117
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,702
you've checked that phone
in the past five minutes.

118
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,537
- Do you want me to turn around?
- No.

119
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,606
No, no, no, no. Fuck that bitch,
right? Fuck her.

120
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,641
- That's right. Yeah.
- Fuck that whore, dude.

121
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,076
What happened to that one chick?

122
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,645
That hot Asian girl
from the "green inferno" party?

123
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:04,716
- She had a penis.
- Oh, right, she did.

124
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,719
- She was hot, too. Too bad.

125
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,488
- Too bad. She had a penis.

126
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,923
- Yeah, I'll tell ya,
I'd rather date a Tranny

127
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,092
than date one of those
giant muscle chicks.

128
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,428
Did you ever see that porno
with that Chyna wrestler?

129
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,662
- No, man.

130
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,731
- Her clit was so fucking huge,

131
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,766
it was like a bloated,
boiled cashew.

132
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:24,803
- Gross, man. I changed
my mine. I want to turn around.

133
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,271
We're gonna turn this around.

134
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,306
- Just forget about Janie.
- Okay? Forget about her.

135
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:31,643
These next three days are about you.
We're gonna get fucked up,

136
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:32,978
we're gonna drink
some fucking Tequila...

137
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,613
We're gonna do some drugs,

138
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,747
we're gonna fuck
some Mexican hookers.

139
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,616
- And have my kidneys...
- Oh, shit!

140
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,117
What the fuck?

141
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:42,821
- Now that's a fuckin'
serendipitous moment

142
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,623
if I ever did fuckin' see one.

143
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,025
- Jesus Christ, dude, pull over.
- Pull over, wipe it off.

144
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,895
- No, no, no, no, no.
- It's good to drive into Mexico

145
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,163
looking gangster.
Leave that fucking shit.

146
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,262
- Fuck, man! Why are you
walking so fast?

147
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,097
- Let's get something to eat
before we get banged up.

148
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:27,699
- I'm not eating there,
though, bro.

149
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,234
- Don't you ever watch
Anthony Bourdain?

150
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,869
These are the best places
to eat. Street food.

151
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,304
Food of the people.
Right,<i> hombre?</i>

152
00:09:32,306 --> 00:09:33,772
- And in like 20 minutes,

153
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,007
I'm doing my best
Jackson pollock in my pants.

154
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,842
- Hey, where I come from...
- If you can voluntarily shit

155
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:40,545
your pants on your birthday,
it's one to remember.

156
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,447
- That's gross.
- Okay.

157
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:47,185
Look... I am sorry your girl
fucked some other dude,

158
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:50,755
I really am. But who knows?
Maybe it was meant to be.

159
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,458
Maybe you were supposed
to come with me to Mexico.

160
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:56,461
You might meet another girl.
At least get your mind off her.

161
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:59,664
It's your birthday. Can't you
forget this shit for one night

162
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,833
and have some fun?

163
00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:06,104
- Okay. Fine. Fine, fine.

164
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:10,175
-<i> Dos,</i> uh, let's see um...

165
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:29,594
- Thank you.<i> Gracias.</i>
<i>- Gracias.</i>

166
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,896
- You guys gotta be careful
around here.

167
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,733
They'll feed you that tainted
shit just to ruin your night.

168
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,835
- Well, to what do we owe this?

169
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,169
Well, you guys are Americans,
aren't you?

170
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,871
We have to look out
for one another.

171
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:43,108
What gave it away?

172
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:44,809
- He was gonna feed you
the kidney meat

173
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,678
of the last two American guys
we saw here.

174
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,213
- That's not...

175
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,981
- Okay. Okay. All right.
- I'm kidding.

176
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,116
Lucia here spotted you.

177
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:54,419
- Oh, a little Florence
Henderson.

178
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,887
- It's nightingale, cowboy.

179
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:58,223
Be careful here, boys.
We can help you with tacos,

180
00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,725
but we can't help you
with the Mexicali cartel.

181
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,193
You mix up with them,

182
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:05,563
they fuck white boys like you
for an appetizer.

183
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:09,501
- Oh. You didn't say anything
about the Mexicali cartel, man.

184
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,903
- Dude, this isn't Tijuana.

185
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:14,039
- Don't worry, you'll be fine.

186
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,907
Just don't be flashing your cash
around in bars.

187
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,809
You'll end up with a sack
over your head

188
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,778
and a trip to see
<i>El gato Enfermo.</i>

189
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,347
- Where's<i> El gato Enfermo?</i>

190
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,182
- Oh, not where. Who.

191
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,985
He runs this town.
And his specialty

192
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,287
is kidnapping rich,
white American boys

193
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,157
whose fathers
will gladly pay quickly.

194
00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:34,125
- Well, I'm an orphan, so...

195
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,161
- And my dad's gay and homeless.

196
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,196
- I hear that's hereditary.
- So you'll be sleeping

197
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,732
on the streets
and sucking dick in no time.

198
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:44,202
- Lucia.
- So,<i> El gato,</i> what's that mean?

199
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:47,072
-<i> El gato Enfermo,</i> the sick cat.

200
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:50,208
- And how does one get
such an endearing nickname?

201
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,745
- Well, his father was the most
feared man in all of Mexico.

202
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:58,083
He used to cut off the pubic
hair of everyone he killed.

203
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,785
Just as a souvenir.
And keep it around the house.

204
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:03,154
When El gato was a little boy,
he saw

205
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,790
his brother get murdered
right in front of his eyes.

206
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,425
When they found El gato
afterwards,

207
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,729
they say he was curled up
in a ball,

208
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,230
covered in his brother's blood,

209
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:16,835
coughing up pubic hair
fur balls. The sick cat.

210
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,603
- Wow.
- That is quite the fairy tale.

211
00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:21,606
But we're not wealthy so
there's nothing to worry about.

212
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:23,575
- Well, see you later.
- Whoa, come on.

213
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,910
What do you say?
Two guys, two girls?

214
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,912
Last time I checked that's...

215
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,782
Unless you guys are, you know...

216
00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:33,718
Okay, come on. Wouldn't it be
nice to go out with some guys

217
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,088
who can cook you dinner without
having to steal the chicken first?

218
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,357
- You're an asshole.

219
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:45,797
- Don't worry about her.
- She's

220
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,932
but I guess I should go
meet up with her,

221
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,501
so maybe I'll see you guys
later.

222
00:12:49,503 --> 00:12:51,703
- Well, hold on, look,
let me get your number.

223
00:12:51,705 --> 00:12:55,874
Maybe we can hang out, even if it's
not here, but you know, eventually.

224
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:06,684
- It's not gonna work here,
babe.

225
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,553
Call me
when you're in the U.S.?

226
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,088
- I wanna see you before that.

227
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:13,458
- Hey, hombre, how do you say
"desperate" in Spanish?

228
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:17,428
- <i>Zona Norte.</i>
- That's where we'll be.

229
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,932
- Maybe I'll see you?
- I hope so.

230
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,967
- Tonight's my birthday.
- Oh.

231
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,370
Happy birthday!

232
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:37,115
- Uppers, downers,
black beauties,

233
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:41,319
- chemicals, Anthrax.
- Did he just say Anthrax?

234
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,121
- Howdy, boys.

235
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,422
They call me texican.

236
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:47,992
And I can get you guys
anything you want.

237
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:51,729
- Oh. Okay.
<i>- ¿donde esta Zona Norte?</i>

238
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:54,933
-<i> "¿Donde esta Zona Norte?"</i>

239
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:56,868
You gotta be kiddin' me.
You guys lookin' for girls?

240
00:13:56,870 --> 00:14:00,572
I can get you girls.
What else you want?

241
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:03,174
- Oh, no, man. I just want
to know where Zona Norte is.

242
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,210
- Come on, gringo. You wanna
experience the real Mexico?

243
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:09,314
I'm your guy. I'll tell you
what. Give me $500.

244
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:14,719
- Oh, shit.

245
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,955
-<i> ¿Que Paso?</i>

246
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,290
- Are you guys
fucking robbing us?

247
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,826
You work for<i> El Grando rancho?</i>

248
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,761
- Robbin'? No.

249
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:27,131
Protection? Yes.

250
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:28,900
This is<i> El Caballo.</i>

251
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,636
Give us $500
and we'll be your tour guides.

252
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,505
All-inclusive. I'm a walkin',
talkin' resort of debauchery.

253
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,975
And I think you're talkin'
about<i> El gato Enfermo...</i>

254
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,244
And I suggest
you steer clear of him.

255
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,912
He's like the aborted offspring

256
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,680
if jaws had raped
Jeffrey Dahmer,

257
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,916
then John Wayne Gacy
dug it out of a dumpster,

258
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,551
ate it and shit it out.

259
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:47,986
- All right, well,
we'll do our best.

260
00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,021
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

261
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,423
Don't be slingin' that shit
around here, tough guy.

262
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,959
El Gato's boys see that,
it'll get bad, fast.

263
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,996
Hey, look, you guys wanna
have some fun?

264
00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,430
Steer clear of El gato.

265
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:02,867
And let us take you
to the real Mexico.

266
00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,603
- What's the real Mexico?

267
00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:13,711
- You boys wanna go
to a cockfight?

268
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,217
- Whoo!

269
00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:33,231
- Pretty cool, huh?
- No. I hate chickens.

270
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,733
- You and Herzog. Thought these
things were just urban legend.

271
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:40,838
- Hell no, man. This is the real
Mexico! Mexico<i> es magico!</i>

272
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,373
Ain't that right, Caballo?

273
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,309
- Some say Jesus would have
been born here,

274
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,678
but they couldn't find
three wise men or a virgin.

275
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,947
- Come on, man. Let's go back
to Zona Norte, huh?

276
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,615
- Come on, cowboy.
- Thought you guys wanted

277
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,417
- to have a night to remember?
- Seriously, Brady,

278
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,185
it's your fucking birthday.
Live a little.

279
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,721
- It's your birthday? Shit.
<i>- Feliz Cumpleanos,</i> man!

280
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:58,690
- Texican here, he's gonna
get you so<i> Jodido,</i>

281
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:00,458
people are gonna mistake
you for Stephen Hawking.

282
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,627
- We can't do that, man.
- Okay? We're in Mexico.

283
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,363
All right, we're gonna get
our fucking kidneys stolen.

284
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,434
- Gentlemen, look,
you have my word,

285
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,770
Caballo here, you got
no worries, that's his job.

286
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,872
358 to me, 142 to Caballo.

287
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:18,142
We do this shit all the time.
He's fuckin' liquid around here.

288
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:21,245
<i>Esta es mi hombre de la mierda!</i>

289
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,881
15 years, me and Caballo,
we come down here,

290
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:24,983
meet tourists, take them out,

291
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:26,751
they have the time
of their life.

292
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:30,421
Go home safe and sound.
I haven't lost a' one.

293
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:33,491
- Look, I don't know you, man,
okay? How can I trust you?

294
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,860
You got like a website
or something?

295
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,328
- Boom.

296
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,998
I'm as American as blue jeans,
Budweiser

297
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,599
and James motherfuckin' Cameron.

298
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:44,535
Caballo's my half-cousin.
I come down here on weekends

299
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:47,905
to meet guys like you, make
money. It's a buyers' market.

300
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,407
- You see that? We're fine.

301
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,242
This guy's a fucking
government official!

302
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:54,078
It's 100% safe. Come on.

303
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:10,561
Come on.

304
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,263
- Yeah!

305
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,467
- Kill that fucking thing!

306
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:19,003
- Bathroom, now!

307
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:22,740
- <i>Baño,</i> thattaway.
- All-inclusive.

308
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:27,311
- This just feels too easy, man.

309
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:30,048
I mean, the guy just appears
out of nowhere

310
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,150
with his giant freak
of a sidekick

311
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:35,486
he shows us some I.D.,
and then we go with him.

312
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,555
- Dude, you saw his I.D.,
it's legit.

313
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,491
- No. No, it looks like
he made it at a los Kinkos.

314
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,860
- Dude, look, do you remember
that time I ended up

315
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,363
in Compton smokin' crack
in that hotel with that hooker

316
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,998
with the giant bush
and pancake tits,

317
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,033
looked like she was straight
out of national geographic?

318
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:50,701
- Yeah. Right.
- Right?

319
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:55,406
People fuckin' love that story.
This night has to top that.

320
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:59,110
Do you got that?
That night, this night.

321
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:02,313
That night, this night.
Okay? Stay focused.

322
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:05,683
This night.
Come on, let's have fun.

323
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,652
- Okay, you're good,
you're good, you're good,

324
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:09,554
you're good, you're good,
you're good.

325
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,389
I'm not good. I'm not good.

326
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:14,725
Tommy. Tommy, hold on, man.
Listen.

327
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:18,129
- Hey, hey, look.
- It's your birthday.

328
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,964
I'm your best friend.

329
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:25,103
And I promise I won't let
anything happen to you.

330
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:27,605
Okay?

331
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,475
- All right. Yeah.
- So what now?

332
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,243
We don't have to clean up
tamale wrappers

333
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,011
or anything, do we?

334
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:37,615
- Well, you guys want to get
<i>borracho correcto,</i> right?

335
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,717
- I don't know
what that means, but yes.

336
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,854
Well, you came to see
the right man. See that guy?

337
00:18:42,856 --> 00:18:44,555
Kasape suka there?

338
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:48,025
- Yeah.
- He's a famous Aztec shaman.

339
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:50,661
And he's gonna give you guys
the night of your lives.

340
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:55,199
But can't do that
'til he's ready.

341
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:56,801
- When's he gonna be ready?

342
00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:02,440
- Now.

343
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,816
- This is so weird.

344
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,919
- It's only weird
if you make it weird, Kwasini.

345
00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:17,155
- Okay, gentlemen.

346
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,423
Door ♪1.

347
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:21,259
Door ♪2.

348
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,294
And door ♪3.

349
00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:25,329
- He's Wayne Brady, now.
- This ain't no

350
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,732
"let's make a motherfuckin'
deal" here, pussy meat.

351
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,800
- What is this? Like, peyote,
mushrooms, what?

352
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:32,370
- Wait! There ain't no fucking
Alprazolam in these things,

353
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:35,173
are there? I got a major fuckin'
allergy to that shit.

354
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:36,841
I once took my mom's Xanax,

355
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,211
shit my pants in a best buy
and almost fuckin' died.

356
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,246
- What?

357
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:45,650
<i>- A mix of psilocybin, mdma,
Coca leaves,</i>

358
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:49,654
<i>a little fairy dust, mellow.
Basically, if you're a pussy.</i>

359
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,623
<i>The finest psilocybins
you can find,</i>

360
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,725
<i>laced with just the right
amount of opium,</i>

361
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:57,762
<i>a touch of peyote,
these are the Frank Zappas.</i>

362
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,899
<i>A mixture of a rare
psychedelic menthol sap</i>

363
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:05,870
<i>and fire ants. You'll probably
puke or shit your pants.</i>

364
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:13,344
- These are the Jim Morrisons.
- That looks like a dried bat.

365
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:14,812
- Ever take those?

366
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:18,749
- I believe anything worth
doing is worth overdoing.

367
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,518
- Great, yeah. I'm gonna take
number one.

368
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,254
- What?
- Star child.

369
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:26,824
I was made for loving you, huh?

370
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,526
That is a bitch move.

371
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,628
- Yeah, fuck it.
- Okay, yeah, fuck it.

372
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:34,365
We're gonna do number two.
<i>Dos</i> Frank Zappas,<i> Por favor.</i>

373
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,867
-<i> Quatro numero dos, Por favor.</i>

374
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,569
- No... four?
- Did you just order four?

375
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,071
I don't want four.
I don't want four.

376
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,173
I want<i> dos.</i> I'm not gonna
double dose, man.

377
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:44,742
- Hey, hey. Nobody said we had
to do this shit sober, did they?

378
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,778
- What?
- What are those?

379
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:52,283
- Those? Those are
the G.G. Allins.

380
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,018
Nobody wants those.

381
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,956
- What is that? What's so funny?

382
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:27,184
- Go thou
and fill another room in hell.

383
00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,886
- I can feel my teeth.
- Yeah, me too.

384
00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:04,255
- No, man, like I feel like
they're vibrating.

385
00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:07,325
- I can feel my teeth are
vibrating. They're vibrating.

386
00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:10,628
- You getting grabbed
the wrong way?

387
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:12,763
- You guys are okay, you know?

388
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,932
These are some good
'shrooms, though.

389
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,435
These are some good
fuckin' 'shrooms, though.

390
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:19,537
You feel your teeth vibrate yet?

391
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:22,340
- Yes. Yes. Is that bad?
- Is that good?

392
00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:23,641
It's bad, I got cancer.

393
00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:26,644
- Nah, he's fucking
with you, cowboy.

394
00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:29,480
- It's bad. It's bad.

395
00:22:50,802 --> 00:22:52,703
- Take some more.
- Eat up, cowboy.

396
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:56,140
- Dude, I ain't you, man.
- I can handle my drugs.

397
00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:06,350
- You know, there ain't nothin'
for a bad trip

398
00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:08,986
like buryin' your face
in a pair of tits.

399
00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:11,689
It's like goin' back
to the place we once were.

400
00:23:11,691 --> 00:23:14,692
I truly believe that.

401
00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:19,964
I swear if I could, I'd crawl
right up inside a vagina.

402
00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:22,767
Take a nap.

403
00:23:23,368 --> 00:23:25,403
It's fluffy in there.

404
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:27,171
Pillowy.

405
00:23:29,508 --> 00:23:32,143
I like fluffy.

406
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:39,683
You look like you're gonna shit
your pants, boy.

407
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:42,153
Have some Tequila.

408
00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:48,225
Excuse me?

409
00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:51,061
...accident with that orange
county lumber truck.

410
00:23:51,063 --> 00:23:52,129
Excuse me?

411
00:23:52,131 --> 00:23:56,667
Can I have some...

412
00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:03,774
- What the fuck
are you doin', pigfucker?

413
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:06,010
I can see it in your eyes,
you're scared.

414
00:24:06,012 --> 00:24:09,814
You see, the devil,
he's riding your bumper.

415
00:24:09,816 --> 00:24:12,850
Unless you speed up,
he's liable to take the lead.

416
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:16,854
And trust me, young buck,
you don't want that.

417
00:24:18,056 --> 00:24:21,358
But why would he be coming
after you?

418
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,295
He only goes after bad people.

419
00:24:24,297 --> 00:24:28,365
And if he's down there
punishing all them bad people,

420
00:24:28,367 --> 00:24:31,635
doesn't that make him
the good guy?

421
00:24:33,338 --> 00:24:38,509
You need to take a couple steps
back from the ledge, cocksauce.

422
00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:41,712
I got something for you.

423
00:24:49,921 --> 00:24:53,591
- What is that?
- Drink it. It'll help.

424
00:24:53,593 --> 00:24:55,626
- How do I know it'll help?

425
00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:58,395
- Just drink it
and shut the fuck up.

426
00:24:58,397 --> 00:24:59,997
- What's that?

427
00:25:00,932 --> 00:25:03,634
Argh...!

428
00:25:04,870 --> 00:25:08,572
- Trust me, Crisco,
you want to drink it.

429
00:25:08,574 --> 00:25:10,574
- I don't... ah...

430
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,983
- Caballo, are you okay?

431
00:25:18,985 --> 00:25:21,986
What's the matter?
Are you all right?

432
00:25:21,988 --> 00:25:25,422
Are you puking?
Are you pooping? Ugh!

433
00:25:25,424 --> 00:25:27,925
- Both,<i> amigo.</i>

434
00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:36,534
- Crisco! Drink it!
- I'll drink it. I'll drink it.

435
00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:52,483
Shit!
We gotta get outta here!

436
00:25:54,554 --> 00:25:57,254
Get out, get out!

437
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,597
Oh, fuck, man!

438
00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:09,500
You're supposed
to be watching us!

439
00:26:09,502 --> 00:26:11,035
- Holy shit! Chick with a dick!

440
00:26:11,037 --> 00:26:13,304
- Only weird
if you make it weird.

441
00:26:13,306 --> 00:26:17,007
- Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.

442
00:26:18,844 --> 00:26:20,578
You're laughing.
Why are you laughing?

443
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:23,147
- I just saw a guy
get his throat cut.

444
00:26:23,149 --> 00:26:26,717
- Come on. Think about it.
- Is that really what you saw?

445
00:26:26,719 --> 00:26:30,054
'Cause I don't know about you,
but I saw her pouring

446
00:26:30,056 --> 00:26:32,022
fucking grand Marnier
down his neck.

447
00:26:32,024 --> 00:26:33,557
- Really?

448
00:26:33,559 --> 00:26:36,060
- Yes. Dude, it's okay,
take a deep breath.

449
00:26:36,062 --> 00:26:39,597
You're just freakin' out.
You're good. It's all good.

450
00:26:39,599 --> 00:26:41,332
- Man, we gotta get outta
Mexico. Okay?

451
00:26:41,334 --> 00:26:44,034
I've seen this movie before.
It doesn't end well.

452
00:26:44,036 --> 00:26:46,070
- Yeah, well,
I've also seen the movie

453
00:26:46,072 --> 00:26:47,805
where the guy gets the girl.

454
00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:50,674
- You guys look like shit.

455
00:26:51,509 --> 00:26:54,111
Wanna party at our hotel?

456
00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:00,684
- I'm sorry, should we get
another room?

457
00:27:00,686 --> 00:27:01,919
- Hell, no.
- Group stuff gets me off.

458
00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:04,088
Let's make this shit freaky.

459
00:27:04,090 --> 00:27:06,056
- I'm not gonna do any gay shit
with that kid, though.

460
00:27:06,058 --> 00:27:07,958
I'm just throwing that
out there now.

461
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,027
- Bro, come on. Like it'd be
any different than that time

462
00:27:10,029 --> 00:27:12,396
- we went to Vegas.
- That was one time,

463
00:27:12,398 --> 00:27:13,998
that was with my t-ball coach

464
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:15,933
and it's because I really,
really wanted to pitch.

465
00:27:15,935 --> 00:27:19,403
- You guys are fucked up.
- That's my balloon.

466
00:27:19,405 --> 00:27:21,005
- Oh, what, this?
- Yeah.

467
00:27:21,007 --> 00:27:23,641
- Your balloon?
- Yeah, I really...

468
00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:25,309
Don't, don't... okay.

469
00:27:27,747 --> 00:27:31,215
Okay, all right.
I can deal with this.

470
00:27:42,794 --> 00:27:44,328
All right...

471
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:46,897
- We're gonna play
a little game called "horse."

472
00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:49,533
- All right, look, I'm down
for some kinky shit

473
00:27:49,535 --> 00:27:51,902
but I do cross the line
at animals.

474
00:27:51,904 --> 00:27:56,774
- No, like basketball.
- H-o-r-s-e. Like this.

475
00:27:56,776 --> 00:27:59,910
You're up, hooker.

476
00:28:01,479 --> 00:28:03,881
- Hey, what the fuck is that?

477
00:28:03,883 --> 00:28:07,384
- I think they used to make
webcam shows in here.

478
00:28:07,386 --> 00:28:09,353
Don't worry, it's broken.

479
00:28:09,355 --> 00:28:13,757
- Oh, you bad girl.
- Okay, how 'about this?

480
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,895
- Oh, okay, now we're getting
somewhere.

481
00:28:17,897 --> 00:28:19,797
- Well, it is Brady's birthday.

482
00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:22,266
We have to do
something exciting.

483
00:28:22,268 --> 00:28:24,535
- Please don't get an h,
please don't get an h,

484
00:28:24,537 --> 00:28:27,037
please don't get an h.

485
00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:31,008
Oh, this is the best game
of all time. I love this game.

486
00:28:31,010 --> 00:28:32,976
- Yes, actually,
I do have a suggestion.

487
00:28:32,978 --> 00:28:35,212
Before you get to o-r-s-e,

488
00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:38,716
why not just get right
to the b and the j?

489
00:28:38,718 --> 00:28:40,851
- All good things, baby.

490
00:28:40,853 --> 00:28:44,254
Now I want you to stick
your tongue up his ass.

491
00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:46,824
- What?
- No, I'm not doing that.

492
00:28:46,826 --> 00:28:50,694
- Well, I guess you're gonna
get your h then.

493
00:28:50,696 --> 00:28:52,696
- Do it. Do it.
- Wait.

494
00:28:52,698 --> 00:28:54,698
- Fine.
- Fine?

495
00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:56,333
- Fine.
- Fine.

496
00:28:56,335 --> 00:28:57,835
- Fine.
- All right.

497
00:28:57,837 --> 00:29:01,772
- ...your pants off. Jesus.

498
00:29:01,774 --> 00:29:06,043
- I can't, I can't. I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.

499
00:29:06,045 --> 00:29:09,279
- I can't. I really like you,
but not on the first date.

500
00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:11,715
- It's totally okay, believe me.
- Okay, how about this?

501
00:29:11,717 --> 00:29:13,250
- Ow! What the fuck was that?

502
00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:14,718
- Oh, shit!

503
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,453
- That was a little
too Mapplethorpe for me.

504
00:29:16,455 --> 00:29:19,156
Shut the fuck up, it's part
of the game. Katie, hit him.

505
00:29:19,158 --> 00:29:23,127
- No, Luc, I just think...
- Hit him!

506
00:29:23,129 --> 00:29:26,930
- Ow.
- No, no, no, no. Like this.

507
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:28,165
- Oh! Oh, fuck!

508
00:29:28,167 --> 00:29:30,768
- Okay, what the fuck is this,
guys?

509
00:29:30,770 --> 00:29:33,637
Come on, let us
out of here already.

510
00:29:33,639 --> 00:29:35,405
- You're not going anywhere,
stud.

511
00:29:35,407 --> 00:29:38,909
- Oh, yeah, no. I don't need
this shit, it's my birthday.

512
00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:41,645
- Exactly. And the party's
just getting started.

513
00:29:41,647 --> 00:29:43,781
Now it's time
to insert something.

514
00:29:43,783 --> 00:29:45,749
No. Nope, fuck that.

515
00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:49,019
- Katie, I know you're not
getting your O on this one.

516
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:53,524
- Ah!

517
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:17,214
Tommy? Tommy!

518
00:30:18,716 --> 00:30:22,052
Oh, shit.

519
00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:25,355
What the fuck?
I can't breathe.

520
00:30:25,357 --> 00:30:28,625
Wait. Wait a minute.
Why are you doing this?

521
00:30:28,627 --> 00:30:30,060
- You'll find out soon enough.

522
00:30:30,062 --> 00:30:32,296
- You fucking bitch!
- Where's Katie?

523
00:30:32,298 --> 00:30:36,133
- Katie! Katie! Katie!
- That's not her real name.

524
00:30:36,135 --> 00:30:39,937
- What the fuck does it matter?
- I can't breathe.

525
00:30:39,939 --> 00:30:43,006
I'm allergic to most sedatives.
Please...

526
00:30:45,110 --> 00:30:48,212
- Jesus Christ, that wasn't
part of the deal.

527
00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:55,018
There's no way both of you
are allergic.

528
00:30:57,222 --> 00:31:00,424
- I think I'll take my chances.
- No, no!

529
00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:26,149
Well, I guess
he got what he paid for.

530
00:31:26,151 --> 00:31:27,985
- What the hell are we supposed
to do with him?!

531
00:31:27,987 --> 00:31:30,821
- We'll let his guys handle it.

532
00:31:30,823 --> 00:31:33,957
- God.
- Okay.

533
00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:41,298
- Help! Help!

534
00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:44,401
- Shh, shh, shh.

535
00:31:44,403 --> 00:31:47,271
Look, you can make this
easy on yourself.

536
00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:50,507
Just be quiet, and I won't
fucking shoot you, okay?

537
00:31:50,509 --> 00:31:52,109
It's simple.

538
00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:56,013
Listen to me. If I'm not here,
listen to Katie.

539
00:31:56,015 --> 00:31:59,483
And everything will be okay.

540
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:54,538
It's okay. Just don't do
anything stupid.

541
00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:02,045
Help!

542
00:34:34,305 --> 00:34:36,640
<i>- Our top story tonight,
rumors swirling around</i>

543
00:34:36,642 --> 00:34:39,709
<i>that the head of the most
dangerous cartel in Mexicali,</i>

544
00:34:39,711 --> 00:34:43,213
<i>Adan Algonto Verde,
has possibly kidnapped</i>

545
00:34:43,215 --> 00:34:45,015
<i>more American tourists</i>

546
00:34:45,017 --> 00:34:46,817
<i>in the hopes
of obtaining ransom.</i>

547
00:34:46,819 --> 00:34:51,822
<i>No word from the streets
as to who these people are...</i>

548
00:35:23,955 --> 00:35:27,858
- Hey, homey!

549
00:35:39,937 --> 00:35:43,206
- Come on, flip over.

550
00:35:43,941 --> 00:35:46,443
- I did 15 years in jail,<i> Puto.</i>

551
00:35:46,445 --> 00:35:49,146
Sometimes I miss it.

552
00:35:49,148 --> 00:35:53,483
You know why?

553
00:36:21,779 --> 00:36:23,780
- Now if you scream,
I'll give you another shot

554
00:36:23,782 --> 00:36:25,282
and I don't want to have
to do that.

555
00:36:25,284 --> 00:36:28,151
Even though the doctor said
I could.

556
00:36:28,153 --> 00:36:33,523
You might wanna have a little bit
of fun so don't scream, okay?

557
00:36:39,830 --> 00:36:41,631
That's hot.

558
00:36:41,633 --> 00:36:46,336
- Why are you guys doing this?
- What do you want?

559
00:36:47,471 --> 00:36:48,905
And where's Tommy?

560
00:36:48,907 --> 00:36:50,607
He looked so fucked up.

561
00:36:50,609 --> 00:36:52,876
I saw them take him out
last night.

562
00:36:52,878 --> 00:36:54,477
I just... I'm begging you.

563
00:36:54,479 --> 00:36:56,846
- Begging me to what?
- Let you go?

564
00:36:56,848 --> 00:37:00,984
- Yes! Yes!
- No, I don't fucking know!

565
00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:02,352
Just stop playing this song

566
00:37:02,354 --> 00:37:04,621
and stop blowing smoke
in my face

567
00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:07,357
and just take these fucking
socks off of me!

568
00:37:07,359 --> 00:37:10,694
- Look who's a lot tougher
when he's scared.

569
00:37:11,929 --> 00:37:13,997
- Where's Tommy?

570
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,935
- When I get sad,
I tend to get angry.

571
00:37:20,538 --> 00:37:23,974
And when I'm angry,
I do mean things.

572
00:37:23,976 --> 00:37:26,710
Now let's get those socks off.

573
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:47,030
Katie!

574
00:37:47,032 --> 00:37:50,000
- Oh, keep doing that.

575
00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:54,704
- Hey, it's him.

576
00:37:57,275 --> 00:37:59,309
- Hello?

577
00:37:59,311 --> 00:38:01,211
<i>What? Nothing.</i>

578
00:38:01,213 --> 00:38:04,381
<i>He was asking about his friend.</i>

579
00:38:04,383 --> 00:38:06,583
He's fine. I mean,
the doctor was here,

580
00:38:06,585 --> 00:38:08,652
he said the drugs haven't
affected him

581
00:38:08,654 --> 00:38:11,321
and we can use as much as
we need if he gets rambunctious.

582
00:38:11,323 --> 00:38:13,923
The worst it can do is
give him a headache.

583
00:38:16,894 --> 00:38:19,562
You know I won't.

584
00:38:19,564 --> 00:38:20,930
- What did he say?

585
00:38:20,932 --> 00:38:23,600
- If the money isn't here
in 48 hours,

586
00:38:23,602 --> 00:38:25,535
he'll be here just in case.

587
00:38:25,537 --> 00:38:26,736
- Well, that's great, right?

588
00:38:26,738 --> 00:38:28,872
Whatever we can do
not to piss him off.

589
00:38:28,874 --> 00:38:31,808
- Have you ever heard the story
about how he became who he is?

590
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:33,610
I mean, how he took over
and everything?

591
00:38:33,612 --> 00:38:35,478
- Parts of it, yeah.

592
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:36,980
Why? You?

593
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:39,215
- His father was the most
feared man in Mexico,

594
00:38:39,217 --> 00:38:40,984
the famous
Esquelletto Fernandez.

595
00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:44,120
The third son of a third son.
And the oldest was set

596
00:38:44,122 --> 00:38:46,489
to take over, but something
was eating Esquelletto.

597
00:38:46,491 --> 00:38:50,493
He had a sinking feeling
his eldest, his heir, was gay.

598
00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:54,464
<i>And for an old-school Mexican</i>
<i>kingpin, a</i> no bueno.

599
00:38:54,466 --> 00:38:56,800
So, to prove it,
he built this torture chair,

600
00:38:56,802 --> 00:39:00,270
<i>where a string was tied to the
trigger of a gun all the way...</i>

601
00:39:00,272 --> 00:39:04,641
- hey! Who are you talking
about? Huh? Where's Tommy?

602
00:39:05,710 --> 00:39:07,777
- Drink this.
- No. What the fuck is that?

603
00:39:07,779 --> 00:39:10,113
- Sweetie, we can't have you
having a number two

604
00:39:10,115 --> 00:39:12,682
- while we're here.
- Then what? I shit my pants?

605
00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:15,552
- No, the idea is that
you don't do that at all.

606
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:22,425
I have to go check on something.

607
00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:34,871
Can't leave that there.

608
00:39:59,830 --> 00:40:02,799
- I can't stand that song.

609
00:40:04,535 --> 00:40:06,136
- Hey, Katie?

610
00:40:08,506 --> 00:40:11,141
I guess that's not
your real name, right?

611
00:40:12,109 --> 00:40:14,477
What is your real name?

612
00:40:15,813 --> 00:40:17,914
Come on, I thought
we had something.

613
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:20,283
You telling me all of it
was an act?

614
00:40:20,285 --> 00:40:24,954
All of it? The taco stand
and coming here with me?

615
00:40:24,956 --> 00:40:26,990
I mean, come on.

616
00:40:30,995 --> 00:40:33,329
Fine, if you don't want
to talk to me,

617
00:40:33,331 --> 00:40:36,866
just please don't put that song
back on.

618
00:41:00,524 --> 00:41:05,195
- Let me guess,
you'd rather hear... Eminem.

619
00:41:05,197 --> 00:41:08,665
- Rap? No.

620
00:41:08,667 --> 00:41:12,569
Especially not some
white guy acting black.

621
00:41:12,571 --> 00:41:14,437
- Okay, let me guess again.

622
00:41:14,439 --> 00:41:17,240
You love led zeppelin

623
00:41:17,242 --> 00:41:19,709
and the rolling stones.

624
00:41:19,711 --> 00:41:25,048
- Give me a skinny English
white guy on drugs

625
00:41:25,050 --> 00:41:26,282
and I'm set.

626
00:41:26,284 --> 00:41:27,951
- But I thought you said

627
00:41:27,953 --> 00:41:30,587
you didn't like white guys
acting black.

628
00:41:30,589 --> 00:41:32,622
- Acting black.

629
00:41:32,624 --> 00:41:34,324
- Are you kidding?

630
00:41:34,326 --> 00:41:37,694
Zeppelin and the stones,
they literally ripped off

631
00:41:37,696 --> 00:41:41,998
everything the old blues
legends ever made. Verbatim!

632
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,601
I mean, the two most popular
rock bands

633
00:41:44,603 --> 00:41:48,238
in the history of music
are the biggest wiggers of all.

634
00:41:56,247 --> 00:41:59,382
- Hey, Katie. Katie, come on.

635
00:41:59,384 --> 00:42:02,485
I know you're not like this,
okay?

636
00:42:02,487 --> 00:42:04,988
You're better than this, I know.

637
00:42:04,990 --> 00:42:07,156
- You don't know me. At all.

638
00:42:07,158 --> 00:42:09,659
- What are you doin' with Lucia?

639
00:42:09,661 --> 00:42:12,595
You can help me.
Please, just help me.

640
00:42:12,597 --> 00:42:15,298
- Nobody turns their back
on El gato.

641
00:42:16,667 --> 00:42:19,569
- El gato? Is that who that is?

642
00:42:19,571 --> 00:42:23,273
You told me he kidnaps kids
with rich parents. I'm adopted.

643
00:42:23,275 --> 00:42:25,675
My mom has nothing!
I just met my dad

644
00:42:25,677 --> 00:42:28,545
for the first time a couple
years ago! He hates me!

645
00:42:28,547 --> 00:42:30,013
- What?

646
00:42:30,015 --> 00:42:32,982
Brady, what are you saying?

647
00:42:32,984 --> 00:42:36,386
- I thought your dad was loaded.
- No.

648
00:42:36,388 --> 00:42:39,222
- What the fuck are you doing?
- What?

649
00:42:41,625 --> 00:42:44,260
Lucia! Lucia! Stop, stop!

650
00:42:44,262 --> 00:42:48,898
Katie, get out of here!
Look, we are in deep this.

651
00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:51,434
We have to get this guy's dad
to cough up with the money,

652
00:42:51,436 --> 00:42:52,969
and fast.
The other guy, Tommy...

653
00:42:52,971 --> 00:42:54,137
- Yeah?

654
00:42:54,139 --> 00:42:56,005
- They left him in the dumpster.
- He's dead.

655
00:42:56,007 --> 00:42:59,609
- What? What did you just say?

656
00:42:59,611 --> 00:43:00,877
You fucking killed Tommy?

657
00:43:00,879 --> 00:43:03,813
You fucking bitch!
You fucking bitch!

658
00:43:30,341 --> 00:43:32,408
- Where's Katie?
- Oh, please stop with that.

659
00:43:32,410 --> 00:43:35,511
What, are you two
havin' a fucking love affair?

660
00:43:35,513 --> 00:43:37,880
- Why am I naked?

661
00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,924
Fuck.

662
00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:07,343
Stop!!

663
00:44:07,345 --> 00:44:09,245
Oh, shit.

664
00:44:09,247 --> 00:44:11,180
- The more we do this,

665
00:44:11,182 --> 00:44:13,349
the faster your dad
will cough up the money.

666
00:44:13,351 --> 00:44:16,019
- My dad... I don't know my dad,
I keep telling you.

667
00:44:16,021 --> 00:44:20,390
I don't know my dad,
he's not... stop, stop, stop.

668
00:44:23,461 --> 00:44:25,261
- Whoa! Oh! Oh!
- What the fuck!

669
00:44:25,263 --> 00:44:27,096
- You're crazier than a shithouse rat.
- Do you know that?

670
00:44:27,098 --> 00:44:28,965
- You're like the fucking
pretzel in the party mix.

671
00:44:28,967 --> 00:44:30,133
Do you know that?

672
00:44:30,135 --> 00:44:31,801
- Shut up! Shut up!
- Boring!

673
00:44:31,803 --> 00:44:34,170
- All you had to do is stay
here and watch him,

674
00:44:34,172 --> 00:44:36,706
not torture him with fucking
chickens nipping at his balls!

675
00:44:36,708 --> 00:44:40,910
- Did you talk to gato?
- Yes. We're fucked.

676
00:44:40,912 --> 00:44:42,779
- What does that mean?
- What's the story?

677
00:44:42,781 --> 00:44:45,314
- The story is that
you fucked up major!

678
00:44:45,316 --> 00:44:48,351
It was the other guy
we needed! Tommy.

679
00:44:48,353 --> 00:44:52,355
He's the one with the rich dad.
And now he's dead.

680
00:44:52,357 --> 00:44:55,058
He doesn't have any parents.
He's a fucking orphan!

681
00:44:55,060 --> 00:44:57,460
- So what do we do?
- Do we just kill him?

682
00:44:59,497 --> 00:45:02,465
- El Gato's gonna decide.

683
00:45:02,467 --> 00:45:04,834
- Do you want to hear
the rest of the gato story?

684
00:45:04,836 --> 00:45:06,169
- Katie, don't go!

685
00:45:06,171 --> 00:45:07,603
- So the string
tied to the trigger,

686
00:45:07,605 --> 00:45:10,473
it's like run down
to this system of pulleys

687
00:45:10,475 --> 00:45:13,676
<i>and at the other end,
it's tied to his dick.</i>

688
00:45:13,678 --> 00:45:15,411
- Katie!!!
- The sick fuck.

689
00:45:15,413 --> 00:45:19,515
<i>Then rolls in a TV
and puts on gay porn,</i>

690
00:45:19,517 --> 00:45:22,018
<i>hoping his son gets an erection</i>

691
00:45:22,020 --> 00:45:23,820
which then pulls the string

692
00:45:23,822 --> 00:45:26,756
<i>attached to the trigger
via the pulleys,</i>

693
00:45:26,758 --> 00:45:30,526
so he shoots himself
with his own penis.

694
00:45:30,528 --> 00:45:33,129
So gato...

695
00:45:33,131 --> 00:45:37,366
<i>Was just hiding
behind bags of matter.</i>

696
00:45:38,435 --> 00:45:40,737
<i>And bam!</i>

697
00:45:41,638 --> 00:45:43,973
The gun went off.

698
00:46:10,634 --> 00:46:13,503
You're not gonna spit
on me again.

699
00:46:28,685 --> 00:46:31,287
- How long are we gonna
do this for?

700
00:46:31,289 --> 00:46:34,390
I get it now.
You guys fucked up.

701
00:46:34,392 --> 00:46:38,661
You wanted Tommy.
You took me. You fucked up.

702
00:46:38,663 --> 00:46:41,364
I get it.

703
00:46:41,366 --> 00:46:44,801
You guys are fucked up.
Why don't you just let me go?

704
00:46:44,803 --> 00:46:47,703
Give me like a five minute
head start. You can chase me.

705
00:46:47,705 --> 00:46:49,172
- It's tempting.

706
00:46:49,174 --> 00:46:51,741
- Come on, with those long
praying mantis legs of yours,

707
00:46:51,743 --> 00:46:53,543
you'd love it.

708
00:46:53,545 --> 00:46:55,711
- Yeah, but you get five miles
into the desert

709
00:46:55,713 --> 00:46:58,414
and at night it's so cold,
you'd freeze to death.

710
00:46:58,416 --> 00:47:01,717
- You remind me of the girls
I used to meet in foster care.

711
00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:03,686
- Where was your foster home?

712
00:47:03,688 --> 00:47:05,922
- New Bedford, Massachusetts.

713
00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:10,593
I tell you what, I tell you
my worst resident story,

714
00:47:10,595 --> 00:47:12,094
you tell me yours.

715
00:47:12,096 --> 00:47:14,897
- What makes you think
I was in a foster home?

716
00:47:14,899 --> 00:47:16,599
- Takes one to know one.

717
00:47:18,202 --> 00:47:20,369
- My friend, Wilma,
was from Puerto Rico.

718
00:47:20,371 --> 00:47:23,072
We were inseparable
when we were like 12.

719
00:47:23,074 --> 00:47:24,674
- You still talk to Wilma?

720
00:47:24,676 --> 00:47:27,076
- Wilma's dead.

721
00:47:27,078 --> 00:47:30,546
- I'd say I'm sorry,
but I'm not.

722
00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:36,052
- How?
- Wilma was really William.

723
00:47:36,054 --> 00:47:40,857
William
and his brother, Phillip.

724
00:47:40,859 --> 00:47:42,725
Identical. When Willy
was eight months old,

725
00:47:42,727 --> 00:47:47,096
his parents decided that he and
Philly should be circumcised.

726
00:47:47,098 --> 00:47:50,800
Problem was, in Puerto Rico,
they used cauterization

727
00:47:50,802 --> 00:47:53,703
and the doctor fucked up.
And instead of fixing it,

728
00:47:53,705 --> 00:47:57,206
he convinced his parents

729
00:47:57,208 --> 00:48:00,910
to raise him as Wilma.

730
00:48:00,912 --> 00:48:03,346
At around 12,
Willy started getting urges.

731
00:48:03,348 --> 00:48:05,648
Girls, fighting,
pee standing up.

732
00:48:05,650 --> 00:48:07,316
But the problem was,

733
00:48:07,318 --> 00:48:11,354
Willy was raised as Wilma,
and Wilma didn't have a Willy.

734
00:48:12,789 --> 00:48:14,156
Enough small talk.

735
00:48:14,158 --> 00:48:16,859
- Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, hold on.

736
00:48:16,861 --> 00:48:19,528
Let me help you.
I want to help you.

737
00:48:19,530 --> 00:48:21,931
Okay, I want to get out of here.

738
00:48:21,933 --> 00:48:24,000
You guys obviously want
to get paid.

739
00:48:24,002 --> 00:48:25,501
You know who I work for?

740
00:48:25,503 --> 00:48:28,604
My boss is Sy Ginsburg.
You know who that is?

741
00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:30,773
He's like one of Hollywood's
biggest producers.

742
00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:32,708
He's a fucking millionaire.

743
00:48:32,710 --> 00:48:35,311
- You know, some of the times
the guys' families don't pay

744
00:48:35,313 --> 00:48:40,283
and the cartel comes and just
kills the poor sons of bitches.

745
00:48:40,285 --> 00:48:42,285
I think people just
don't respect Mexicans.

746
00:48:42,287 --> 00:48:44,687
They feel like they're less
civilized than whites.

747
00:48:44,689 --> 00:48:46,522
And that really pisses them off.

748
00:48:47,224 --> 00:48:48,925
If El gato shows up here,

749
00:48:48,927 --> 00:48:51,994
well, then you know
it's all gone wrong.

750
00:48:53,397 --> 00:48:55,498
All right, enough chit chat.

751
00:48:55,500 --> 00:48:57,767
- No, no, wait, wait,
hold on, hold on, hold on.

752
00:48:57,769 --> 00:49:00,569
You told me your resident story,
let me tell you mine.

753
00:49:00,571 --> 00:49:02,271
It's worse.

754
00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:04,740
- Bullshit.
- Mnh-mnh.

755
00:49:04,742 --> 00:49:08,411
There was this kid, and they
had him in one of those...

756
00:49:08,413 --> 00:49:10,379
You know those fuckin'
padded timeout rooms?

757
00:49:10,381 --> 00:49:12,548
They had him in there
for so long

758
00:49:12,550 --> 00:49:15,484
they thought
he was gonna kill himself.

759
00:49:15,486 --> 00:49:18,521
So they like took all of
his clothes, his shoelaces,

760
00:49:18,523 --> 00:49:21,857
everything. They kept him
in there for months, just nude.

761
00:49:21,859 --> 00:49:24,260
But he was so determined.

762
00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:27,997
He pulled out his big toenail,

763
00:49:27,999 --> 00:49:29,865
sharpened it on the floor,

764
00:49:29,867 --> 00:49:32,468
used it to slit his wrist.

765
00:49:33,403 --> 00:49:35,738
- Jesus, that kid's got
determination.

766
00:49:35,740 --> 00:49:38,708
- That kid... was me.

767
00:50:22,786 --> 00:50:24,353
Okay, okay.

768
00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:26,822
Come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.

769
00:50:26,824 --> 00:50:32,261
Yes. Okay. Come on. Come on.

770
00:50:34,331 --> 00:50:38,067
No, no, no, no, no.

771
00:50:38,069 --> 00:50:40,770
No, no, no, no.
No!

772
00:50:41,972 --> 00:50:45,775
Okay, okay, okay.

773
00:51:42,899 --> 00:51:44,867
<i>You get five miles
into the desert</i>

774
00:51:44,869 --> 00:51:48,170
<i>and at night it's so cold,
you'd freeze to death.</i>

775
00:52:04,521 --> 00:52:08,324
- Wait, stop, stop, stop!
- How ya doin'? How ya doin'?

776
00:52:08,326 --> 00:52:10,893
Uh, uh, uh...
<i>¿Estados unido? Unido estado!</i>

777
00:52:10,895 --> 00:52:12,561
Please, please, stop, stop!

778
00:52:12,563 --> 00:52:14,530
- It's<i> Estados Unidos,</i> brother.

779
00:52:14,532 --> 00:52:17,266
- I need to get outta here.
- Help me, please?

780
00:52:17,268 --> 00:52:20,369
- Don't mind my friend,
but get in, motherfucker.

781
00:52:22,272 --> 00:52:23,672
Don't worry about him.

782
00:52:23,674 --> 00:52:26,442
- I need to get outta here.
- Help me, please.

783
00:52:26,444 --> 00:52:28,344
- What do you mean, outta here?
- We're locked in

784
00:52:28,346 --> 00:52:30,746
for hundreds of miles.
I can get you to a phone, yeah?

785
00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:35,284
- Yeah, yeah, that's fine.
- Just fuckin' drive, man.

786
00:52:35,286 --> 00:52:40,422
- I like your fuckin' underwear
there, toots. Don't I know you?

787
00:52:40,424 --> 00:52:44,693
- Yeah, yeah, from the cockfight
and the... the strip club.

788
00:52:44,695 --> 00:52:47,596
- In the prime of his years,
he married Gargamel,

789
00:52:47,598 --> 00:52:49,798
daughter of the king
of the butterflies.

790
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:52,768
A fine, good-looking
piece of machine.

791
00:52:52,770 --> 00:52:57,706
And the pair of them often
played the two-backed beast,

792
00:52:57,708 --> 00:53:01,043
joyfully rubbing
their bacon together.

793
00:53:01,045 --> 00:53:02,811
All right, puss n boots,
where you coming from really?

794
00:53:02,813 --> 00:53:06,815
- These... fucking girls, man,
they kidnapped me,

795
00:53:06,817 --> 00:53:09,785
they took... thumbtacks
and-and-and-and...

796
00:53:09,787 --> 00:53:12,788
And fuckin'
they played this music, man!

797
00:53:12,790 --> 00:53:17,226
I need to get to the border.
Just drive, okay? Please.

798
00:53:17,228 --> 00:53:19,795
- Ahem!

799
00:53:19,797 --> 00:53:23,232
Aside from the kinky shit,
what do you do?

800
00:53:23,234 --> 00:53:25,701
- I work for a movie producer.
- Movies?

801
00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:28,804
Ah, Lala never allowed them
on the reservation.

802
00:53:28,806 --> 00:53:31,941
He said they're all just racist
propaganda films, you know?

803
00:53:31,943 --> 00:53:33,442
I mean, look at "star wars."

804
00:53:33,444 --> 00:53:36,745
Pious white people
fighting this evil black guy?

805
00:53:37,747 --> 00:53:40,916
Have you ever really looked
at Darth Vader?

806
00:53:40,918 --> 00:53:42,618
I mean, side shot, profile.

807
00:53:42,620 --> 00:53:45,487
He looks like a big,
black dick, doesn't he?

808
00:53:45,489 --> 00:53:47,623
I mean,
what's that supposed to mean?

809
00:53:47,625 --> 00:53:50,259
- I think he was supposed
to look like a samurai.

810
00:53:50,261 --> 00:53:52,995
- Hidden meanings, Kwasini.
- Right, yeah. Whatever, man.

811
00:53:52,997 --> 00:53:54,930
- And what about "the avengers"?

812
00:53:54,932 --> 00:53:57,399
Not one black guy in the group.

813
00:53:57,401 --> 00:54:00,169
- Nick fury is black.
- He wasn't in the comics.

814
00:54:00,171 --> 00:54:01,971
They made him black,

815
00:54:01,973 --> 00:54:04,573
so none of the black folks
could complain.

816
00:54:04,575 --> 00:54:07,409
They can't say, "hey,
there's no black heroes,"

817
00:54:07,411 --> 00:54:10,145
because the white people go,
"well, yeah, look.

818
00:54:10,147 --> 00:54:12,514
The leader's black,
so it's okay."

819
00:54:12,516 --> 00:54:16,218
I mean, look at "rocky."
You got this white guy,

820
00:54:16,220 --> 00:54:17,486
he's a workin' man...

821
00:54:17,488 --> 00:54:20,823
You know,
and here comes this black guy,

822
00:54:20,825 --> 00:54:23,859
dressed like George Washington,
and he's taking over...

823
00:54:23,861 --> 00:54:26,295
The cherished symbols
of white America.

824
00:54:26,297 --> 00:54:29,098
And rocky,
this white fucking loser,

825
00:54:29,100 --> 00:54:34,236
beats the black guy
and saves his image of America.

826
00:54:34,238 --> 00:54:35,704
White America at that.

827
00:54:35,706 --> 00:54:37,606
And look at "rocky III."
Now he's rich,

828
00:54:37,608 --> 00:54:40,709
he's the flashy one, and here
comes another black guy.

829
00:54:40,711 --> 00:54:44,079
This one from the ghetto.
I mean, this guy's really angry.

830
00:54:44,081 --> 00:54:47,783
He's gonna fuck rocky's wife,
I know it. But no!

831
00:54:47,785 --> 00:54:51,720
The rich, flashy white guy
still beat the black guy.

832
00:54:51,722 --> 00:54:54,957
What about "gremlins"? - Could you
just give me one second, please?

833
00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:56,191
Okay? My buddy is dead.

834
00:54:56,193 --> 00:54:58,694
- I've been in a room for fucking days!
- What?

835
00:54:58,696 --> 00:55:00,763
- And if I don't get
to the border,

836
00:55:00,765 --> 00:55:02,164
some asshole named
El gato Enfermo

837
00:55:02,166 --> 00:55:04,867
is gonna kill me!
And what the fuck is that?!

838
00:55:04,869 --> 00:55:06,802
- Ah!
- El gato?

839
00:55:06,804 --> 00:55:10,773
That's one pussy you don't want
after you, that's for sure.

840
00:55:10,775 --> 00:55:13,542
Lookit,
go down this road one mile.

841
00:55:13,544 --> 00:55:16,011
There's an office there.

842
00:55:16,013 --> 00:55:18,147
There's your phone.

843
00:55:18,149 --> 00:55:19,948
Out.

844
00:55:19,950 --> 00:55:22,284
- This is so fucked!

845
00:55:22,286 --> 00:55:24,386
Fuck!

846
00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:30,159
- Hey, man! Hey!

847
00:55:30,161 --> 00:55:33,028
If I took your brain
and put it in a gnat's asshole,

848
00:55:33,030 --> 00:55:35,931
it would look like a baby
in a cardboard box.

849
00:55:35,933 --> 00:55:38,734
Take some advice.

850
00:55:42,339 --> 00:55:46,075
Life should not be a journey
to the grave with the intention

851
00:55:46,077 --> 00:55:49,111
of arriving safely in an
attractive, well-preserved body,

852
00:55:49,113 --> 00:55:50,446
but rather to slide in sideways,

853
00:55:50,448 --> 00:55:52,715
whiskey in one hand,
pistol in another,

854
00:55:52,717 --> 00:55:55,617
boot up your worst enemy's ass,

855
00:55:55,619 --> 00:55:58,454
body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out,

856
00:55:58,456 --> 00:56:02,291
fucked up and screaming,
"whoo-hoo!

857
00:56:02,293 --> 00:56:05,260
What a ride, motherfucker."

858
00:56:05,262 --> 00:56:07,429
- What?!

859
00:56:12,402 --> 00:56:15,104
Oh, Jesus.

860
00:57:09,025 --> 00:57:10,192
- Hello?
- <i>Hello?</i>

861
00:57:10,194 --> 00:57:11,960
- Hello?
- <i>Hello?</i>

862
00:57:11,962 --> 00:57:15,097
- Uh...<i> ¿donde esta inglés?</i>
- Can you help me, please?

863
00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:18,634
- Can you help me?
<i>- I don't know, can I help you?</i>

864
00:57:18,636 --> 00:57:21,737
- My name is Brady Baxter.
- I-I'm stranded here.

865
00:57:21,739 --> 00:57:25,407
I need you to call the police.
<i>La policia.</i> Please.

866
00:57:25,409 --> 00:57:28,177
- <i>Where are you, sir?</i>
- Uh...

867
00:58:46,055 --> 00:58:47,189
- Wait.

868
00:58:47,191 --> 00:58:49,591
Okay, she will take a shower
first thing,

869
00:58:49,593 --> 00:58:51,860
and that's the only time
you can do it.

870
00:58:54,732 --> 00:58:58,700
Otherwise she has orders
to shoot you in the knee,

871
00:58:58,702 --> 00:59:01,637
and she will.
So just... wait.

872
01:00:21,051 --> 01:00:22,484
<i>Hello?</i>

873
01:00:22,486 --> 01:00:24,686
<i>I can't hear you.</i>

874
01:00:26,290 --> 01:00:28,223
<i>- Who is this?
- I got it. Hang up.</i>

875
01:00:28,225 --> 01:00:30,325
-<i> Hello, stinky pants.</i>

876
01:00:30,327 --> 01:00:33,028
<i>See ya later, penis.</i>

877
01:00:53,850 --> 01:00:56,752
- Fuck! Bitch! Fucking bitch.
- Fuck.

878
01:00:56,754 --> 01:01:00,122
- Your boss won't come up
with the money.

879
01:01:02,425 --> 01:01:06,028
I never finished that story
about why he's so unforgiving.

880
01:01:06,030 --> 01:01:08,130
That day
he saw his older brother

881
01:01:08,132 --> 01:01:11,133
<i>wrap his toe around the string
and pull the trigger</i>

882
01:01:11,135 --> 01:01:14,569
<i>because he couldn't stand
the mental torture anymore.</i>

883
01:01:14,571 --> 01:01:16,638
<i>So little gato grabbed the .45</i>

884
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:19,074
<i>and shot his father in the face.</i>

885
01:01:19,076 --> 01:01:22,310
<i>It was that day,
that one decision,</i>

886
01:01:22,312 --> 01:01:24,946
it made him who he was.

887
01:01:24,948 --> 01:01:27,749
<i>And ever since that day,
all of Mexico</i>

888
01:01:27,751 --> 01:01:32,254
has been scared to death
of El gato Enfermo.

889
01:01:32,256 --> 01:01:36,391
And he's coming here.
He's coming here to kill you.

890
01:01:44,735 --> 01:01:48,170
- Okay. Now's your chance.

891
01:01:50,673 --> 01:01:53,942
Here's your chance, okay?

892
01:01:54,911 --> 01:01:57,946
Just give me two minutes
to take the car.

893
01:01:59,449 --> 01:02:00,916
I'm so sorry.

894
01:02:00,918 --> 01:02:04,152
I'm really sorry
about all of this.

895
01:02:04,154 --> 01:02:07,289
It wasn't supposed to be you.

896
01:02:19,268 --> 01:02:22,304
- Fuck!

897
01:02:45,595 --> 01:02:48,764
- Hello, Mr. Baxter.

898
01:02:48,766 --> 01:02:51,166
- You're... him.

899
01:02:51,168 --> 01:02:54,736
I... I know who you are,
I know who you are.

900
01:02:54,738 --> 01:02:57,305
-<i> Cállate.</i>

901
01:03:04,113 --> 01:03:06,515
I understand you make movies.

902
01:03:07,483 --> 01:03:10,552
I love American movies.

903
01:03:10,554 --> 01:03:13,021
Real cinema.

904
01:03:14,123 --> 01:03:15,924
Paul Thomas Anderson...

905
01:03:15,926 --> 01:03:17,926
He's my favorite.

906
01:03:17,928 --> 01:03:20,028
You know him?

907
01:03:21,898 --> 01:03:24,800
There is a fabric he weaves,

908
01:03:24,802 --> 01:03:27,869
it's... very dear to me.

909
01:03:27,871 --> 01:03:30,806
Very complex and sometimes...

910
01:03:30,808 --> 01:03:32,808
Fragile...

911
01:03:32,810 --> 01:03:36,545
Father-son relationship.

912
01:03:38,347 --> 01:03:40,115
John c. Reilly,

913
01:03:40,117 --> 01:03:43,385
Philip Baker hall in "Sydney."

914
01:03:43,387 --> 01:03:48,523
Mark Wahlberg and Burt Reynolds
in "boogie nights."

915
01:03:48,525 --> 01:03:50,892
"There will be blood."

916
01:03:51,727 --> 01:03:54,062
Daniel day Lewis.

917
01:03:54,997 --> 01:03:58,400
And that fucking deaf kid.

918
01:04:11,614 --> 01:04:13,782
All great things...

919
01:04:13,784 --> 01:04:16,351
Were done by boys...

920
01:04:16,353 --> 01:04:19,921
...who just wanted
to impress dad.

921
01:04:21,090 --> 01:04:23,859
All the tallest buildings,

922
01:04:23,861 --> 01:04:25,994
created by men...

923
01:04:25,996 --> 01:04:30,098
Trying to show their dad
their big dicks.

924
01:04:31,334 --> 01:04:34,603
I think if women
ran the world...

925
01:04:34,605 --> 01:04:37,205
All the big structures...

926
01:04:37,207 --> 01:04:40,775
Would not be giant buildings
in the sky,

927
01:04:40,777 --> 01:04:44,479
but lush, warm tunnels...

928
01:04:46,016 --> 01:04:49,284
...buried deep in the ground.

929
01:04:50,987 --> 01:04:53,121
That's amazing, no?

930
01:04:54,090 --> 01:04:56,558
It's easy money,

931
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:58,727
preying on men who are guilty

932
01:04:58,729 --> 01:05:02,364
of not raising their sons.

933
01:05:02,366 --> 01:05:05,200
Millions of ignored sons...

934
01:05:05,202 --> 01:05:07,636
Raised by nannies.

935
01:05:09,205 --> 01:05:13,308
I have kidnapped now, well...

936
01:05:13,310 --> 01:05:16,678
...maybe over 50 American
young men.

937
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:20,315
All whose fathers had money.

938
01:05:21,083 --> 01:05:24,486
These guys were too busy

939
01:05:24,488 --> 01:05:27,322
fucking secretaries.

940
01:05:27,990 --> 01:05:29,658
Building wine cellars

941
01:05:29,660 --> 01:05:34,195
and looking at the "robb report"
to play catch with their sons.

942
01:05:34,197 --> 01:05:37,832
So when they see the biggest
mistakes in their life

943
01:05:37,834 --> 01:05:41,670
smack them in the face,
they don't hesitate to...

944
01:05:41,672 --> 01:05:43,605
- That's not me.

945
01:05:43,607 --> 01:05:45,607
Your girls screwed up.

946
01:05:45,609 --> 01:05:47,008
I'm an orphan.

947
01:05:47,010 --> 01:05:49,945
But I told them...

948
01:05:49,947 --> 01:05:51,813
Call my boss.

949
01:05:51,815 --> 01:05:56,217
Right? Call my boss.
He's got money, he'll pay you.

950
01:05:56,219 --> 01:05:58,119
- I spoke to him.

951
01:05:58,121 --> 01:06:02,857
Mega-producer Sy Ginsburg.

952
01:06:02,859 --> 01:06:05,193
He told me that...

953
01:06:05,195 --> 01:06:07,796
I could go fuck myself.

954
01:06:07,798 --> 01:06:13,168
And that he was having
a hard time understanding me.

955
01:06:15,338 --> 01:06:19,240
"Do you speak<i> español?"</i>

956
01:06:19,242 --> 01:06:23,078
He said the only thing
he needed to say in Spanish was,

957
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:25,780
"put the leaves over there."

958
01:06:25,782 --> 01:06:29,317
- What kind of person are you?

959
01:06:47,269 --> 01:06:50,238
- Since I was very small...

960
01:06:52,675 --> 01:06:55,243
I punish the bad guys.

961
01:06:56,245 --> 01:06:59,781
If I punish the bad guys,

962
01:06:59,783 --> 01:07:04,319
then I am the good guy, no?

963
01:07:08,090 --> 01:07:10,425
Such a big heart.

964
01:07:11,527 --> 01:07:13,595
And talented.

965
01:07:16,799 --> 01:07:19,768
Shame to see it go to waste.

966
01:07:22,505 --> 01:07:24,773
Look at me.

967
01:07:31,480 --> 01:07:33,448
Excuse me.

968
01:07:39,155 --> 01:07:41,389
Yes, hello?

969
01:07:41,391 --> 01:07:43,958
I'm actually in the middle
of something.

970
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:46,361
So can you call me back?

971
01:07:47,963 --> 01:07:50,131
Yes, please.

972
01:07:55,004 --> 01:07:57,138
My grandson.

973
01:07:57,140 --> 01:07:58,973
He's in preschool.

974
01:07:58,975 --> 01:08:02,143
He stabbed someone again.

975
01:08:06,382 --> 01:08:08,716
So could you please excuse me?

976
01:08:08,718 --> 01:08:10,652
- Sure.

977
01:08:27,837 --> 01:08:31,172
- I love American movies.

978
01:08:56,799 --> 01:08:58,333
- Where'd<i> El jefe</i> go?

979
01:08:58,335 --> 01:09:01,236
- He got a phone call.
- His grandson.

980
01:09:01,238 --> 01:09:04,272
- If it's his third grandson,
he's not coming back.

981
01:09:04,274 --> 01:09:07,942
I guess I'm gonna be
the last person you ever see.

982
01:09:07,944 --> 01:09:12,881
You know, I hear that men
after death stay hard for hours.

983
01:09:13,816 --> 01:09:15,350
You think that's true?

984
01:09:15,352 --> 01:09:18,419
- I've got something hard
for you.

985
01:09:18,421 --> 01:09:20,655
- Whoa. I'm sorry, Brady,
I'm sorry.

986
01:09:20,657 --> 01:09:24,259
Brady, look, I'm sorry.
It was just for the money.

987
01:09:24,261 --> 01:09:27,128
You've gotta understand.
Katie really, really likes you.

988
01:09:27,130 --> 01:09:30,431
- It's all gonna be fine.
- Don't!

989
01:09:34,203 --> 01:09:37,572
- That wasn't supposed
to be... loaded.

990
01:10:07,036 --> 01:10:08,836
- Hello?

991
01:10:08,838 --> 01:10:10,305
- What? Brady?

992
01:10:10,307 --> 01:10:13,675
- Tommy!
- You're okay, you're alive!

993
01:10:13,677 --> 01:10:15,510
- Of course I'm a-fuckin-live!

994
01:10:15,512 --> 01:10:18,246
It was a joke, dude!
The whole fuckin' thing!

995
01:10:18,248 --> 01:10:21,182
<i>Well, except for the, you know,
the mushrooms and the bar.</i>

996
01:10:21,184 --> 01:10:22,850
<i>That was real.</i>

997
01:10:22,852 --> 01:10:24,652
<i>How about the fuckin' cowboy
tea-bagging that Tranny?</i>

998
01:10:24,654 --> 01:10:27,355
<i>"It's only fucking weird
if you make it weird."</i>

999
01:10:27,357 --> 01:10:29,657
It was a setup!
The girls, I paid them.

1000
01:10:29,659 --> 01:10:31,292
<i>It was a birthday prank!</i>

1001
01:10:31,294 --> 01:10:33,194
<i>That's why they never
really hurt you.</i>

1002
01:10:33,196 --> 01:10:34,796
<i>And those shots
were fucking Thorazine!</i>

1003
01:10:34,798 --> 01:10:37,665
<i>Did Lucia crack and tell you
about the whole thing?</i>

1004
01:10:37,667 --> 01:10:40,101
<i>Is she there?
Let me talk to her.</i>

1005
01:10:46,075 --> 01:10:48,643
Yo. Hello?

1006
01:10:56,252 --> 01:10:57,752
- Holy shit.

1007
01:10:57,754 --> 01:11:01,055
Holy shit,
what the fuck did you do?

1008
01:11:01,057 --> 01:11:03,224
- What did I do?

1009
01:11:03,226 --> 01:11:05,159
What did you do?

1010
01:11:05,161 --> 01:11:06,861
Tommy, do you have any idea
what you put me through?

1011
01:11:06,863 --> 01:11:09,430
- Th-this was a prank, dude.
- All of it.

1012
01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:11,666
This girl's a fucking actress!

1013
01:11:11,668 --> 01:11:14,802
This wasn't supposed to happen!
Ah!

1014
01:11:14,804 --> 01:11:17,272
- A prank, Tommy?!

1015
01:11:17,274 --> 01:11:19,240
Is this your idea
of a birthday present?!

1016
01:11:19,242 --> 01:11:21,376
A prank where I end up
killing a girl?!

1017
01:11:21,378 --> 01:11:22,910
- No, no! The fucking ending

1018
01:11:22,912 --> 01:11:24,312
is supposed to be Katie
coming through the door

1019
01:11:24,314 --> 01:11:26,481
with a fucking birthday cake,
dude!

1020
01:11:26,483 --> 01:11:28,850
I was planning this
for fucking months!

1021
01:11:28,852 --> 01:11:32,854
That gun wasn't supposed
to be fucking loaded!

1022
01:11:32,856 --> 01:11:35,556
Oh, fuck! Shit!
That's the chicken gun

1023
01:11:35,558 --> 01:11:38,893
- that had the fuckin' bullets in it.
- Oh, my god.

1024
01:11:38,895 --> 01:11:41,396
- I was trying to fucking show
you I could tell a great story

1025
01:11:41,398 --> 01:11:43,264
so you can get me a meeting
with your boss.

1026
01:11:43,266 --> 01:11:47,201
- You could've just sent me
a script, Tommy!

1027
01:11:47,203 --> 01:11:49,470
Oh, fuck. We're so fucked.

1028
01:11:49,472 --> 01:11:52,907
- Wait, wait. We?
- What do you mean, we, man?

1029
01:11:52,909 --> 01:11:54,842
You fuckin' shot her.

1030
01:11:56,779 --> 01:11:59,113
- What did you just say?
- What?

1031
01:11:59,115 --> 01:12:02,517
You fuckin' shot her, man.
The prank was up.

1032
01:12:02,519 --> 01:12:05,520
She was untying you
when El gato left.

1033
01:12:05,522 --> 01:12:06,954
- This is your fault.
- This is your fault.

1034
01:12:06,956 --> 01:12:09,123
- This is your fault!
- All right!

1035
01:12:09,125 --> 01:12:10,992
- I thought you were dead!
- Okay! It's my fault, too.

1036
01:12:10,994 --> 01:12:15,663
I'm sorry. Just please stop hitting me.
Just calm down.

1037
01:12:15,665 --> 01:12:18,800
- Don't tell me to calm down! I just
fucking killed a girl because of you!

1038
01:12:18,802 --> 01:12:22,837
- At least we're not
in the fucking states. Right?

1039
01:12:22,839 --> 01:12:24,906
Um...

1040
01:12:24,908 --> 01:12:29,143
Fuck, what about that,
the cowboy?

1041
01:12:29,145 --> 01:12:30,712
Texican?

1042
01:12:30,714 --> 01:12:32,880
You know, we can call him.
Maybe he can help us.

1043
01:12:32,882 --> 01:12:35,583
- He works for the government.
- He's fucking Mexican, okay?!

1044
01:12:35,585 --> 01:12:37,885
They all do dirty shit
for money!

1045
01:12:37,887 --> 01:12:40,722
Just listen, I have a plan.
It's simple, all right?

1046
01:12:40,724 --> 01:12:43,524
We don't tell him this was
a prank gone wrong, right?

1047
01:12:43,526 --> 01:12:45,059
We tell him
exactly as it happened.

1048
01:12:45,061 --> 01:12:48,529
They kidnapped us,
they tortured us.

1049
01:12:48,531 --> 01:12:51,933
I... went to the fucking
hospital or something, okay?

1050
01:12:51,935 --> 01:12:54,569
You've been here
for three fucking days.

1051
01:12:54,571 --> 01:12:56,804
Sell this shit, okay?
You can act.

1052
01:12:56,806 --> 01:13:00,408
You're always saying
it's fucking easy, so act.

1053
01:13:01,577 --> 01:13:03,811
You're fucking filthy.
Take a shower, okay?

1054
01:13:03,813 --> 01:13:06,447
I'll come up with a story.

1055
01:13:08,951 --> 01:13:12,987
- Make sure you work out
the ending this time.

1056
01:13:40,682 --> 01:13:45,486
- Mr. Brady,
you fucked up good, huh?

1057
01:13:46,722 --> 01:13:48,656
- It's these girls.
- They... they...

1058
01:13:48,658 --> 01:13:51,292
They fucking tortured me.
I had no choice.

1059
01:13:51,294 --> 01:13:53,561
- Tortured you? With what?

1060
01:13:55,664 --> 01:14:00,668
- With thumbtacks and needles
and fucking music.

1061
01:14:00,670 --> 01:14:05,206
- Music?
- <i>Es</i> creed, huh? Nickelback?

1062
01:14:05,208 --> 01:14:07,241
- They drugged us, okay?
- Tommy, tell them.

1063
01:14:07,243 --> 01:14:09,911
- They drugged us both.
- They did. I had a reaction.

1064
01:14:09,913 --> 01:14:12,980
It was a bad fuckin' scene.
Can you help us or not?

1065
01:14:12,982 --> 01:14:16,217
- Gentlemen, listen,
this is all good and fun...

1066
01:14:16,219 --> 01:14:18,252
But you have no physical scars.

1067
01:14:18,254 --> 01:14:19,854
No marks of torture.

1068
01:14:19,856 --> 01:14:22,156
Your trip to the hospital,
Mr. Tommy,

1069
01:14:22,158 --> 01:14:26,027
that could be the four of you
havin' fun with drugs.

1070
01:14:26,029 --> 01:14:28,496
This right here...

1071
01:14:28,498 --> 01:14:31,165
This right here is not good.

1072
01:14:31,167 --> 01:14:34,035
- What'd I tell you?
- Why did we call him?

1073
01:14:34,037 --> 01:14:37,905
- Well, now, wait a minute,
Mr. Brady. I can still help you.

1074
01:14:37,907 --> 01:14:39,874
I'm a man...

1075
01:14:39,876 --> 01:14:42,844
Who knows many people
and places.

1076
01:14:42,846 --> 01:14:47,415
- Ain't that right, Caballo?
- Mm-hmm.

1077
01:14:47,417 --> 01:14:50,184
- There's only one problem.

1078
01:14:50,186 --> 01:14:52,086
- What's that?

1079
01:14:52,088 --> 01:14:56,390
- Sooner or later, that other
girl's gonna come back.

1080
01:14:56,392 --> 01:14:59,093
What do you plan on doing?

1081
01:14:59,095 --> 01:15:01,295
Her friend...

1082
01:15:01,297 --> 01:15:03,064
Is dead.

1083
01:15:03,066 --> 01:15:07,902
- It's always the friend,
<i>hombres.</i> Always.

1084
01:15:08,871 --> 01:15:10,938
You find that one girl...

1085
01:15:10,940 --> 01:15:14,141
But it's her friend
who cockblocks you.

1086
01:15:15,678 --> 01:15:17,812
- All right, I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.

1087
01:15:17,814 --> 01:15:20,481
I'm just gonna wait here, right?
And when she comes back,

1088
01:15:20,483 --> 01:15:22,216
I'm gonna talk to her
rationally.

1089
01:15:22,218 --> 01:15:23,584
- You're gonna talk to her?

1090
01:15:23,586 --> 01:15:25,152
You're gonna charm this girl
into forgetting

1091
01:15:25,154 --> 01:15:26,954
you just killed
her fucking friend?

1092
01:15:26,956 --> 01:15:29,590
- It was in self-defense.
- Ever hear of Mexican karate?

1093
01:15:29,592 --> 01:15:31,792
- No.

1094
01:15:31,794 --> 01:15:36,130
- Well, there ain't no such thing as
self-defense in this motherfuckin' country.

1095
01:15:36,132 --> 01:15:38,432
- Then I'm gonna get out of this country.
- She doesn't know who I am.

1096
01:15:38,434 --> 01:15:42,203
- Bullshit, dude.
- She doesn't know your full name,

1097
01:15:42,205 --> 01:15:44,705
but she knows who you work for,
and using Facebook,

1098
01:15:44,707 --> 01:15:46,741
it's not gonna be hard
to fuckin' find you.

1099
01:15:46,743 --> 01:15:48,809
- If you hadn't decided
to Michael Douglas me,

1100
01:15:48,811 --> 01:15:50,611
- none of this would've happened.
- Hey, hey!

1101
01:15:50,613 --> 01:15:52,146
This is what we're gonna do.

1102
01:15:52,148 --> 01:15:54,081
Well, what you boys
are gonna do.

1103
01:15:54,083 --> 01:15:55,816
You're gonna clean up
that blood,

1104
01:15:55,818 --> 01:15:58,286
you're gonna put the girl
in the blankets,

1105
01:15:58,288 --> 01:16:00,288
take her out to my pickup.

1106
01:16:00,290 --> 01:16:01,822
Fortunately, in this hotel,

1107
01:16:01,824 --> 01:16:06,260
someone carrying out a body
in sheets... is normal.

1108
01:16:11,266 --> 01:16:13,234
Good shit, boys.

1109
01:16:19,609 --> 01:16:23,144
- Yeah, I love this song!
- What...

1110
01:16:26,315 --> 01:16:28,616
- Hi.

1111
01:16:37,526 --> 01:16:40,261
I'm not gonna tell anybody!

1112
01:16:40,263 --> 01:16:42,830
Tommy! Brady!

1113
01:16:45,267 --> 01:16:47,034
- My beaner brethren would kill

1114
01:16:47,036 --> 01:16:50,838
to see this fuckin'
role-reversal, huh?

1115
01:16:55,344 --> 01:16:56,777
- I'm sorry, man.

1116
01:16:56,779 --> 01:16:58,713
I can't believe this.

1117
01:16:58,715 --> 01:17:00,881
I had it planned perfectly.

1118
01:17:00,883 --> 01:17:02,950
As Lucia was coming out
of the shower,

1119
01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:05,052
she was gonna tell you
about the prank.

1120
01:17:05,054 --> 01:17:08,422
She was even planning
on you kicking her ass, y'know?

1121
01:17:08,424 --> 01:17:10,057
She's good like that.

1122
01:17:10,059 --> 01:17:12,259
It's the gun.
The fucking gun.

1123
01:17:12,261 --> 01:17:14,829
It was not supposed
to be loaded.

1124
01:17:14,831 --> 01:17:18,799
It was the chicken gun
that fuckin' Katie used.

1125
01:17:18,801 --> 01:17:22,303
Just don't worry about it,
okay? It'll work out.

1126
01:17:22,305 --> 01:17:24,705
- Thanks. That's really,
really assuring, man.

1127
01:17:24,707 --> 01:17:28,309
Because I only
just fucking killed a girl!

1128
01:17:31,980 --> 01:17:35,516
What the fuck is that?

1129
01:17:35,518 --> 01:17:37,585
- Well, guys,

1130
01:17:37,587 --> 01:17:40,221
that is the rocket.

1131
01:17:47,829 --> 01:17:50,631
- This is so fucked up.

1132
01:17:50,633 --> 01:17:53,067
This is so fucked up.

1133
01:17:58,740 --> 01:18:02,243
What the hell is this?
What the fuck is this?

1134
01:18:13,822 --> 01:18:15,356
- What the fuck's the goat for?
- What is this?

1135
01:18:15,358 --> 01:18:17,825
- Texican, tell us
what the fuck's going on?

1136
01:18:17,827 --> 01:18:19,927
- What the hell is this, man?

1137
01:18:38,313 --> 01:18:40,214
-<i> Es bueno,</i> boss.

1138
01:18:40,216 --> 01:18:42,783
- What the hell you gonna do?
- Slingshot her over the wall?!

1139
01:18:42,785 --> 01:18:45,953
- <i>Sí.</i>
- Are you fuckin' crazy?

1140
01:18:46,722 --> 01:18:48,255
- Your gringo friend here

1141
01:18:48,257 --> 01:18:50,424
is the one who shot
that<i> puto</i> whore, huh?

1142
01:18:50,426 --> 01:18:54,929
- So don't get mad at me!
- Okay, enough of your shit.

1143
01:18:54,931 --> 01:18:56,997
- Look, we leave this girl here,

1144
01:18:56,999 --> 01:19:00,668
the vultures are liable
to get her.

1145
01:19:00,670 --> 01:19:02,169
But this area is patrolled.

1146
01:19:02,171 --> 01:19:04,438
So if the Federales
find this girl,

1147
01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:07,575
there's a slight chance
it could get back to you.

1148
01:19:07,577 --> 01:19:10,711
Mexicans care more
about a dead American girl

1149
01:19:10,713 --> 01:19:15,449
than the Americans give a shit
about a dead Mexican girl.

1150
01:19:15,451 --> 01:19:17,785
So we shoot her over the fence,

1151
01:19:17,787 --> 01:19:22,089
U.S. border patrol finds her,
they think another dead beaner.

1152
01:19:22,091 --> 01:19:25,726
They don't give a shit.
It's a good plan.

1153
01:19:25,728 --> 01:19:28,028
- That's a fucking good plan?

1154
01:19:28,030 --> 01:19:30,164
Jesus fucking Christ.

1155
01:19:33,034 --> 01:19:35,536
We gonna say something at least,
first?

1156
01:19:35,538 --> 01:19:38,506
- Have at it, boys.

1157
01:19:38,508 --> 01:19:40,708
- It's okay, all right...

1158
01:19:40,710 --> 01:19:43,010
I'll say something.

1159
01:19:45,247 --> 01:19:48,082
Lord, uh...

1160
01:19:48,084 --> 01:19:50,718
Forgive this girl for

1161
01:19:50,720 --> 01:19:53,220
the path she chose.

1162
01:19:53,222 --> 01:19:57,024
Forgive her for
the line of work she got into,

1163
01:19:57,026 --> 01:20:01,195
and for what she did
to Brady and myself.

1164
01:20:02,397 --> 01:20:04,331
But, you know,

1165
01:20:04,333 --> 01:20:07,802
uh, deep down, um,

1166
01:20:07,804 --> 01:20:09,970
you know, fuck her, man.

1167
01:20:09,972 --> 01:20:11,105
- Hey, man!

1168
01:20:11,107 --> 01:20:14,942
What are we gonna do about
Katie?

1169
01:20:14,944 --> 01:20:16,811
- What about her?
- What about her?

1170
01:20:16,813 --> 01:20:19,513
She's in the back
of a fucking truck.

1171
01:20:19,515 --> 01:20:21,348
We're gonna let her go, right?

1172
01:20:21,350 --> 01:20:23,584
- Well... unfortunately,

1173
01:20:23,586 --> 01:20:26,287
sometimes with jobs,

1174
01:20:26,289 --> 01:20:28,189
there's gonna be
collateral damage.

1175
01:20:28,191 --> 01:20:31,058
Now, this girl, she knows
everything about you guys.

1176
01:20:31,060 --> 01:20:34,562
- Wha...?
- I'm sorry, Mr. Brady.

1177
01:20:35,597 --> 01:20:38,699
But you,

1178
01:20:38,701 --> 01:20:41,535
you're gonna
have to kill her too.

1179
01:20:41,537 --> 01:20:43,137
- No.

1180
01:20:43,139 --> 01:20:46,240
No. Fuck you. No.

1181
01:20:46,242 --> 01:20:49,677
Katie, listen to me.
They wanna kill you.

1182
01:20:49,679 --> 01:20:52,112
- No!
- I don't have a choice.

1183
01:20:52,114 --> 01:20:54,782
But I know that you know
that this was an accident.

1184
01:20:54,784 --> 01:20:56,483
I didn't want
any of this to happen!

1185
01:20:56,485 --> 01:20:59,753
And I'm sorry, okay?
I'm so fucking sorry.

1186
01:20:59,755 --> 01:21:03,624
- Brady? Brady, I promise...
- I don't care about Lucia, okay?

1187
01:21:03,626 --> 01:21:07,161
- Tommy paid us and everything went wrong!
- Yeah.

1188
01:21:07,163 --> 01:21:08,429
- I know
you didn't wanna shoot her!

1189
01:21:08,431 --> 01:21:11,198
- Fuck!

1190
01:21:12,801 --> 01:21:14,768
- I'm sorry!
- What the fuck?!

1191
01:21:14,770 --> 01:21:16,637
- I'm sorry, okay?!
- I'm sorry, dude!

1192
01:21:16,639 --> 01:21:18,072
I couldn't fucking chance it!

1193
01:21:18,074 --> 01:21:19,907
It's all my fault
and I couldn't!

1194
01:21:19,909 --> 01:21:22,877
- I couldn't chance it, dude!
- What's the matter with you?!

1195
01:21:22,879 --> 01:21:24,778
- Now we're even!
- She was innocent!

1196
01:21:24,780 --> 01:21:26,146
She was part of your prank!

1197
01:21:26,148 --> 01:21:28,282
- You shot a girl too!
- Oh, my god!

1198
01:21:28,284 --> 01:21:30,451
- I couldn't live with the fact
this was all my fucking fault!

1199
01:21:30,453 --> 01:21:33,320
- Jesus, Tommy! Fuck!
- Now we're even!

1200
01:21:33,322 --> 01:21:36,557
Even conscience, okay?
I'm sorry.

1201
01:21:36,559 --> 01:21:39,994
I wanted you to have a birthday
to remember, man.

1202
01:21:39,996 --> 01:21:42,630
Just not like this.

1203
01:21:58,613 --> 01:22:00,648
- I'm so sorry.

1204
01:22:03,218 --> 01:22:05,486
Oh, god, I'm so sorry.

1205
01:22:08,423 --> 01:22:10,324
I'm so sorry.

1206
01:22:11,526 --> 01:22:14,528
Oh, jeez.

1207
01:22:17,933 --> 01:22:19,667
Tommy!

1208
01:22:19,669 --> 01:22:23,537
Tommy! Guys! Tommy! Guys!

1209
01:22:23,539 --> 01:22:26,373
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, god, please.

1210
01:22:26,375 --> 01:22:29,076
- I didn't want
any of this to happen.

1211
01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:33,113
- Jeez.
- Oh, god.

1212
01:22:33,115 --> 01:22:35,215
You're just a fucking soulless
movie producer.

1213
01:22:35,217 --> 01:22:37,584
- Tommy!
- Oh, god, please.

1214
01:22:37,586 --> 01:22:39,353
- Oh, god, I'm sorry.

1215
01:22:39,355 --> 01:22:42,456
- You know what?
- I have one last question.

1216
01:22:42,458 --> 01:22:44,758
- Ever seen one of these?

1217
01:22:44,760 --> 01:22:46,760
- Jesus Christ!

1218
01:22:59,641 --> 01:23:02,643
- Happy birthday, buddy!

1219
01:23:02,645 --> 01:23:04,378
Ha-ha! Oh, come on!

1220
01:23:04,380 --> 01:23:07,648
You couldn't figure it out?

1221
01:23:07,650 --> 01:23:10,517
They really did anything to you.
Think about it.

1222
01:23:10,519 --> 01:23:13,454
<i>The needle in the toe.
I mean, the phone rings,</i>

1223
01:23:13,456 --> 01:23:16,590
<i>and then the fake news footage
and El gato Enfermo.</i>

1224
01:23:16,592 --> 01:23:18,559
That guy's a fucking famous
Mexican soap actor.

1225
01:23:18,561 --> 01:23:20,928
- This was a prank, Tommy?
- All of it?

1226
01:23:20,930 --> 01:23:25,032
Lucia? You, too? Jesus!

1227
01:23:25,667 --> 01:23:27,835
You set this all up?!

1228
01:23:27,837 --> 01:23:29,937
- Funny you should ask,

1229
01:23:29,939 --> 01:23:32,406
'cause I've got the most amazing
fucking story you've ever heard.

1230
01:23:32,408 --> 01:23:34,341
<i>"Batshit," tale to
the heart of darkness,</i>

1231
01:23:34,343 --> 01:23:37,177
<i>classic black-hat villain,
twists, turns, danger, drugs.</i>

1232
01:23:37,179 --> 01:23:39,747
<i>Unexpected love.</i>

1233
01:23:39,749 --> 01:23:41,315
- Even Janie?

1234
01:23:41,317 --> 01:23:44,251
- Um... no, uh...

1235
01:23:44,253 --> 01:23:47,121
That... that was real,
unfortunately.

1236
01:23:47,123 --> 01:23:49,656
But the rest, yes!

1237
01:23:49,658 --> 01:23:50,691
<i>"I love movies.</i>

1238
01:23:50,693 --> 01:23:53,160
Do you think
if women ruled the world,

1239
01:23:53,162 --> 01:23:56,063
the big buildings
would be tunnels in the ground?"

1240
01:23:56,065 --> 01:23:57,698
Happy birthday.

1241
01:23:57,700 --> 01:24:01,135
Come on, it was fucking
brilliant.

1242
01:24:01,137 --> 01:24:03,237
Brilliant.

1243
01:24:24,093 --> 01:24:26,627
- Okay, gringo,

1244
01:24:26,629 --> 01:24:28,328
that is a wrap.

1245
01:24:29,764 --> 01:24:32,166
- Yes, it is.
- "Page 92.

1246
01:24:32,168 --> 01:24:33,834
Brady pleads with Katie
to save her life.

1247
01:24:33,836 --> 01:24:35,836
Tommy shoots three blanks,
killing her."

1248
01:24:35,838 --> 01:24:37,504
Are you shitting me with this?

1249
01:24:37,506 --> 01:24:39,740
- Thank you guys so much.
- That was a good one.

1250
01:24:39,742 --> 01:24:42,342
- You guys were great.
- It was a hefty bill.

1251
01:24:42,344 --> 01:24:44,278
We convincing enough for ya?

1252
01:24:44,280 --> 01:24:47,181
- I'd say. You had your balls
in a tranny's mouth.

1253
01:24:49,085 --> 01:24:51,318
- All-inclusive.

1254
01:24:58,827 --> 01:25:01,795
- Hi.
- Hi.

1255
01:25:04,532 --> 01:25:06,667
So this is it.

1256
01:25:07,569 --> 01:25:11,238
- I'd be crazy to see you again.

1257
01:25:12,407 --> 01:25:15,109
You know that, right?

1258
01:25:15,111 --> 01:25:17,177
- Yeah.

1259
01:25:25,521 --> 01:25:28,655
- But I will.

1260
01:25:28,657 --> 01:25:31,558
- Oh, my god, that's so awkward.

1261
01:25:34,195 --> 01:25:36,530
- Happy birthday.

1262
01:25:49,310 --> 01:25:52,379
- Okay, boys, rock'n'roll.

1263
01:25:54,415 --> 01:25:56,583
- Gotta hand it to you, man.

1264
01:25:56,585 --> 01:26:00,420
This is the most fucked-up,
brilliant birthday present

1265
01:26:00,422 --> 01:26:02,556
I've ever gotten.

1266
01:26:03,625 --> 01:26:06,894
Your birthday's in August,
right?

1267
01:26:23,945 --> 01:26:27,948
"She told me she had a boyfriend
the morning after?"

1268
01:26:30,319 --> 01:26:31,885
Hear the fan?

1269
01:26:31,887 --> 01:26:33,654
- Cut.

1270
01:26:33,656 --> 01:26:36,723
- He was eating his<i> gato.</i>

1271
01:26:36,725 --> 01:26:38,025
- What?

1272
01:26:38,027 --> 01:26:40,928
- I love you.

1273
01:26:42,530 --> 01:26:44,264
- Cut.

1274
01:26:45,533 --> 01:26:48,669
- Is there, like,
any chance I'm there?

1275
01:26:48,671 --> 01:26:51,338
- It's a little...
- There you go.

1276
01:26:52,942 --> 01:26:54,675
- His hat!

1277
01:26:54,677 --> 01:26:57,344
Oh, my god.

1278
01:27:02,050 --> 01:27:04,918
- Ooh... boy bands.

1279
01:27:04,920 --> 01:27:07,521
One direction.

1280
01:27:07,523 --> 01:27:09,890
I'd fuck that one guy.

1281
01:27:18,866 --> 01:27:20,968
-<i> Ay caramba.</i>

1282
01:27:23,371 --> 01:27:25,372
- Okay, well,
it's not just your party,

1283
01:27:25,374 --> 01:27:26,840
it's your birthday,
but shit, fuck.

1284
01:27:26,842 --> 01:27:30,210
We wanna all hang out
and have a good time too.

1285
01:27:30,212 --> 01:27:31,712
Fuckin' motherfucker.

1286
01:27:33,916 --> 01:27:37,718
- Well, this is the end,
Corsini. No. Kwasini.

1287
01:27:37,720 --> 01:27:40,954
Cro-croissant.
This is the end, croissant.

1288
01:27:40,956 --> 01:27:45,125
<i>L'addition, s'il vous plaît!</i>
All right, here we go.

1289
01:28:07,115 --> 01:28:10,517
- So, man, what you been up to?
- You still writin' songs?

1290
01:28:10,519 --> 01:28:12,586
- Uh, well, no, actually.

1291
01:28:12,588 --> 01:28:15,756
You see, all the great songs
have already been written

1292
01:28:15,758 --> 01:28:18,392
by guys with wigs and stuff.

1293
01:28:18,394 --> 01:28:20,594
- So what brings you
to Mexicali?

1294
01:28:20,596 --> 01:28:22,663
You just tryin' to get away?

1295
01:28:22,665 --> 01:28:26,700
- We're actually talkin' about
movin' back to Montana soon.

1296
01:28:26,702 --> 01:28:31,538
Gonna be a dental-floss tycoon.
Right, man?

