0000 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:10,000 YoubetCash.net Agen Judi Online Aman & Terpercaya 000 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Bonus Cashback Bola 6% Bonus Rollingan 0,80% 00 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Welcome Bonus Rp 25.000 Extra Bonus Tambahan Withdraw Rp 2.000.000 0 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:25,000 CashBack Mix Parlay 100% Bonus Ajak teman 45,2% 1 00:00:04,335 --> 00:00:09,275 [HIP HOP MUSIC FADES IN] 2 00:00:11,551 --> 00:00:16,551 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 3 00:00:16,648 --> 00:00:18,551 ♪ Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo ♪ 4 00:00:18,584 --> 00:00:22,255 ♪ Pullin up. Pullin up. Shut it down when I'm pulling up ♪ 5 00:00:22,287 --> 00:00:24,189 ♪ Come around when I'm pulling up ♪ 6 00:00:24,223 --> 00:00:25,892 ♪ In my town and I'm pullin up ♪ 7 00:00:25,924 --> 00:00:30,630 ♪ Ready for anything. Anyone. Know that I get it done ♪ 8 00:00:30,662 --> 00:00:32,597 ♪ In a Benz I be pullin up ♪ 9 00:00:32,630 --> 00:00:34,533 ♪ Tell your friends cause I'm pullin' up ♪ 10 00:00:34,566 --> 00:00:36,401 ♪ Ready or not I'll be pullin up ♪ 11 00:00:36,435 --> 00:00:38,304 ♪ Remember they say I'm not good enough ♪ 12 00:00:38,337 --> 00:00:40,306 ♪ I took all that energy and turned it to greatness ♪ 13 00:00:40,338 --> 00:00:42,174 ♪ Now look at my life man it's looking amazing ♪ 14 00:00:42,207 --> 00:00:43,675 ♪ Now I'm ready for anything, anyone ♪ 15 00:00:43,709 --> 00:00:45,578 ♪ I've been so ready for everything I've become ♪ 16 00:00:45,611 --> 00:00:47,380 ♪ When I was stuck I had no other option ♪ 17 00:00:47,413 --> 00:00:49,248 ♪ But I believed in myself when this shit was a poppin ♪ 18 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,616 ♪ I got it like that. Who you know that got it like that ♪ 19 00:00:51,649 --> 00:00:52,650 ♪ Who you know getting degrees ♪ 20 00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,853 ♪ and rapping like they got diplomas in rap ♪ 21 00:00:54,886 --> 00:00:57,255 ♪ Made it this far and I still got a lot to accomplish ♪ 22 00:00:57,289 --> 00:00:58,624 ♪ And I know they believe it ♪ 23 00:00:58,657 --> 00:01:00,593 ♪ I'm talking to Renos Stramelli to Sweden ♪ 24 00:01:00,626 --> 00:01:02,461 ♪ I never stop winning I feel undefeated ♪ 25 00:01:02,493 --> 00:01:04,229 ♪ I come to your city and everyone ♪ 26 00:01:04,262 --> 00:01:07,532 ♪ Pullin up. Pullin up. Shut it down when I'm pulling up ♪ 27 00:01:07,565 --> 00:01:09,434 ♪ Come around when I'm pulling up ♪ 28 00:01:09,467 --> 00:01:11,369 ♪ In my town and I'm pullin up ♪ 29 00:01:11,402 --> 00:01:16,274 ♪ Ready for anything. Anyone. Know that I get it done ♪ 30 00:01:16,307 --> 00:01:17,842 ♪ In a Benz I be pullin up ♪ 31 00:01:17,875 --> 00:01:19,811 ♪ Tell your friends cause I'm pullin' up ♪ 32 00:01:19,845 --> 00:01:22,782 ♪ Pullin up. Shut it down when I'm pulling up ♪ 33 00:01:22,815 --> 00:01:24,550 ♪ Come around when I'm pulling up ♪ 34 00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:26,452 ♪ In my town and I'm pullin up ♪ 35 00:01:26,485 --> 00:01:31,257 ♪ Ready for anything. Anyone. Know that I get it done ♪ 36 00:01:31,289 --> 00:01:32,991 ♪ In a Benz I be pullin up ♪ 37 00:01:33,024 --> 00:01:34,827 ♪ Tell your friends cause I'm pullin' up ♪ 38 00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:38,731 ♪ Anything. Anyone. Know that I get it done ♪ 39 00:01:38,764 --> 00:01:40,633 ♪ In a Benz I be pullin up ♪ 40 00:01:40,666 --> 00:01:42,500 ♪ Tell your friends cause I'm pullin' up ♪ 41 00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:43,970 [MUSIC FADES] 42 00:01:53,845 --> 00:01:57,517 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 43 00:01:59,717 --> 00:02:02,854 [SYNTH SOUNDTRACK] 44 00:02:14,632 --> 00:02:17,237 [ROOSTER CROWS] 45 00:02:23,809 --> 00:02:25,311 [AIRHORN BLOWS] 46 00:02:25,343 --> 00:02:27,412 RICH: What the hell, Dad? 47 00:02:27,446 --> 00:02:31,584 EARL: Time to wake up! Come on, the WBL waits for no man! 48 00:02:31,616 --> 00:02:33,752 You want it? You gotta earn it! 49 00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:35,788 It's 6 in the morning. 50 00:02:35,821 --> 00:02:40,026 Yes, that means it's training time. Come on. 51 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,960 Richie, come on. 52 00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,797 Playing professional basketball used to be my dream 53 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,799 and now that dream is dead. 54 00:02:47,833 --> 00:02:51,503 Dead. So now it's your dream and 55 00:02:51,537 --> 00:02:55,041 I'm gonna be there every step of the way helping you realize it, 56 00:02:55,073 --> 00:02:56,642 ok? Alright. 57 00:02:56,674 --> 00:02:58,610 Gee. Thanks, Dad. 58 00:02:58,644 --> 00:03:02,381 You're welcome son. Now get your bony ass up out of bed and 59 00:03:02,413 --> 00:03:05,884 meet me on the driveway in 5 minutes. 60 00:03:05,918 --> 00:03:07,453 Alright, there! 61 00:03:07,485 --> 00:03:09,054 Now meet me out there in 5 minutes 62 00:03:09,087 --> 00:03:11,357 or I'm gonna fold this thing and I'm gonna make a Richie sandwich 63 00:03:11,389 --> 00:03:12,657 out of you. 5 minutes, let's go! 64 00:03:12,691 --> 00:03:14,527 [SYNTH MUSIC RETURNS] 65 00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:19,632 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 66 00:03:28,706 --> 00:03:30,575 Morning. 67 00:03:31,175 --> 00:03:32,544 Aren't these the guys that 68 00:03:32,578 --> 00:03:34,580 you hired at Home Depot last week? 69 00:03:34,613 --> 00:03:35,580 Yeah, they are. 70 00:03:35,614 --> 00:03:36,849 Aren't they finished? 71 00:03:36,882 --> 00:03:39,418 No. They're not finished because they've got one more job to do 72 00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:42,520 which if they do correctly, they'll get a little extra 73 00:03:42,554 --> 00:03:44,991 scratch because it's Christmas and I gotta heart. 74 00:03:45,424 --> 00:03:47,126 It's Christmas? 75 00:03:47,158 --> 00:03:50,863 [DECK THE HALLS] 76 00:03:50,895 --> 00:03:52,898 FATHER ON THE STREET: Awe, you're doing great, son! 77 00:03:53,431 --> 00:03:56,468 For them it's Christmas. It's not Christmas for you until 78 00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:58,403 you run the carwash drill. 79 00:03:58,436 --> 00:04:00,805 There's a whole house of presents inside, Rich. 80 00:04:00,839 --> 00:04:02,608 There's a skateboard. There's a... 81 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,678 There's some clothes. All kinds of cool stuff and I will 82 00:04:05,710 --> 00:04:07,145 burn them on this god damned 83 00:04:07,179 --> 00:04:09,982 driveway unless you score in this drill. 84 00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:11,116 WOMAN: Merry Christmas, Richie. 85 00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:12,285 Shut up! 86 00:04:12,317 --> 00:04:15,487 Alright, Bring it. Let's go. Christmas is for winners! 87 00:04:16,487 --> 00:04:17,756 Now let's go! 88 00:04:30,602 --> 00:04:34,774 What? You gonna cry? You gonna cry and be 89 00:04:34,806 --> 00:04:38,544 a little cry baby and you gonna quit? Wanna call mommy? Well you 90 00:04:38,576 --> 00:04:40,779 can call her but she won't pick up the phone because she left us 91 00:04:40,813 --> 00:04:42,715 both to go be a sister wife! 92 00:04:42,748 --> 00:04:45,818 What? You can't be both. 93 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:49,087 Now get up and do it again. And hey, 94 00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:51,056 this comes from a place of love. 95 00:04:51,088 --> 00:04:53,692 If I didn't love you, you wouldn't have the helmet. 96 00:04:54,492 --> 00:04:56,161 Now do it again. 97 00:04:56,195 --> 00:04:59,765 You want to be a winner or do you want to be a loser, Rich? 98 00:04:59,797 --> 00:05:01,065 Huh? 99 00:05:01,099 --> 00:05:03,436 Winner or loser? 100 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,705 Rich is gonna be a winner. Now let's go. 101 00:05:06,737 --> 00:05:08,173 [DRAMATIC SYNTH] 102 00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:12,812 [HEART BEAT] 103 00:05:22,119 --> 00:05:23,688 [LOUD BASKETBALL ARENA] 104 00:05:23,955 --> 00:05:26,692 ANNOUNCER: Royals down by one. Seven seconds left. 105 00:05:26,725 --> 00:05:30,061 This is where legends are made and dreams are crushed. 106 00:05:30,095 --> 00:05:32,097 The fans couldn't have asked for a more exciting 107 00:05:32,129 --> 00:05:35,900 start to the WBL Finals. Rich Johnson, he promised to 108 00:05:35,934 --> 00:05:38,136 bring a championship to Sacramento after a 40-year 109 00:05:38,169 --> 00:05:41,806 drought and a win here would put them one step closer! 110 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:46,078 Stivers is wide open! God, Jerry, what a hog! 111 00:05:46,111 --> 00:05:48,948 JERRY: He is not gonna pass the ball. Rich is going one on one. 112 00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:52,617 Strictly isoball and throwing up trash in here for the win. 113 00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:53,785 [BUZZER BEEPS] 114 00:05:53,818 --> 00:05:57,823 ANNOUNCER: Wow! Unbelievable. If you don't like that, 115 00:05:57,855 --> 00:06:00,258 you don't like Royals basketball. 116 00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:02,227 I love Royals basketball! 117 00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:05,731 [CROWD CHEERS] 118 00:06:06,263 --> 00:06:08,501 Joe Riley live here. The game has just ended. 119 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,170 It's very exciting. We're trying to reach one of the Rich! Rich. 120 00:06:11,203 --> 00:06:16,107 RICH: Freddie, Fred, Fred we did it, man. We did it, Fred! 121 00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:18,744 Uh, Joe. 122 00:06:18,777 --> 00:06:22,114 Sorry, Joe. Wait, when did you change that? 123 00:06:22,147 --> 00:06:23,048 At birth. 124 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:26,619 Hey man, I've just gotta say look, I mean. 125 00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:30,823 I gotta thank the big man himself. I want to thank me. 126 00:06:32,991 --> 00:06:35,928 That looked like an impossible shot at the end there. 127 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,129 Freddie, I'm kidding. Joe, um, 128 00:06:38,162 --> 00:06:41,799 look, my shot was just dropping tonight. What can I say? 129 00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:42,967 It was falling. 130 00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:45,738 You're kidding? You shot 28%. 131 00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:47,840 Yeah well you know I was double and I was 132 00:06:47,873 --> 00:06:49,808 triple teamed but you know, 133 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:53,311 look, the ball just does what Rich Johnson tells it to do. 134 00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:57,583 Boom! I would love to stay and chat, but my fan club awaits. 135 00:06:57,616 --> 00:06:59,519 Rich Johnson! Out! 136 00:07:01,652 --> 00:07:02,920 Rich Johnson's out. 137 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:06,025 FAN 1: Hey, Rich! Hey, Rich! Can I have your Jersey please? 138 00:07:06,058 --> 00:07:09,762 What, this one? Oh, you know what? It's going on sale on eBay 139 00:07:09,794 --> 00:07:11,563 tonight at around midnight. 140 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:12,765 I hope you can stay up. 141 00:07:12,797 --> 00:07:14,900 [CROWD BOOS] 142 00:07:16,902 --> 00:07:20,039 [CRYING] 143 00:07:21,039 --> 00:07:23,075 Yeah, ah ha. 144 00:07:23,107 --> 00:07:26,244 Boom, my man. Yes! 145 00:07:26,277 --> 00:07:29,982 There we go. Up high. Yeah. Coach, yeah, 146 00:07:30,015 --> 00:07:31,917 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 147 00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:36,222 yeah, yeah, yeah. My man. Oh, that's cold. What's up, bro? 148 00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:39,657 Yeah. Oh, it's gonna be a good one! 149 00:07:39,691 --> 00:07:41,060 [WET TOWEL SNAPS] 150 00:07:41,092 --> 00:07:42,261 GIVENS: Oh! 151 00:07:42,294 --> 00:07:45,330 Oh, come on. I barely touched him. I barely touched him. 152 00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:50,001 Yeah. He'll be fine. Oh yeah, fellas. 153 00:07:50,035 --> 00:07:51,270 This is what I'm talking about. 154 00:07:51,302 --> 00:07:55,340 Boom, two, three championship rings. 155 00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:59,244 Oh my hand is so heavy. Oh, it's throwing my back out. Oh, yeah. 156 00:07:59,277 --> 00:08:01,981 You know rookie. You've gotta play at least one minute if you 157 00:08:02,013 --> 00:08:04,917 want to get one of these. Nah, I'm just playing. 158 00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:07,720 I'm just playing. No, you get one but it says equipment 159 00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:11,789 manager on it. I'm playing with you rook, come on, relax. 160 00:08:11,823 --> 00:08:12,890 [WET TOWEL SNAP] 161 00:08:12,924 --> 00:08:16,962 Oh, come on. Whooh! 162 00:08:16,994 --> 00:08:19,131 Oh man. Hey, you know what? Guys listen up. 163 00:08:19,164 --> 00:08:21,133 Give me this. Guys, listen up. 164 00:08:21,532 --> 00:08:25,037 Look, we are three wins away 165 00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:28,707 from the WBL Championship, ok? 166 00:08:28,739 --> 00:08:32,076 And I did not get traded here to Sac town to lose. 167 00:08:32,109 --> 00:08:36,181 Now, now, listen here. If I have to, I will put all you 168 00:08:36,214 --> 00:08:40,219 on my back and I will personally carry you all across the finish 169 00:08:40,252 --> 00:08:44,957 line, alright? It's been a dream of my dad's 170 00:08:44,989 --> 00:08:46,725 It's been a dream of 171 00:08:46,758 --> 00:08:50,128 mine to bring a championship here to Sac Town. 172 00:08:50,628 --> 00:08:55,133 So all you gotta do is trust in Rich and then just come to the 173 00:08:55,167 --> 00:08:58,870 Championship parade. Rich Johnson out! 174 00:08:58,903 --> 00:08:59,904 STIVERS: I'm not sure that door 175 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,907 is big enough for his ego to fit through, man. 176 00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:04,143 [FANS RAMBLING] 177 00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:06,211 No, no, no, no, no, sorry. Gotta go, gotta go. 178 00:09:11,048 --> 00:09:13,785 ROOKIE: I really hate that guy. 179 00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:16,656 [HIP HOP MUSIC] 180 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:27,231 Good morning. Good morning. 181 00:09:27,264 --> 00:09:28,800 What's this? I ordered Eggs Benedict. 182 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,335 LIZ: Eat your cereal, Earl. 183 00:09:30,368 --> 00:09:33,138 This cereal tastes like a fruity 184 00:09:33,171 --> 00:09:36,075 Oh, yeah. Fastest hands in the WBL. 185 00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:37,810 That's your first steal of the year. 186 00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:40,713 Hey, how to I hear the replay from my game winning shot? 187 00:09:41,312 --> 00:09:43,114 Why don't you use my new gift that I gave ya? 188 00:09:43,148 --> 00:09:44,115 Ooh, right here. 189 00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:45,717 [GROANS] Are you ok? 190 00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:49,688 Yeah. No, I'm fine. I'm uh, I'm fine. Ok, uh 191 00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:54,393 Alicia, play some Rich Johnson highlights. 192 00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:57,296 ALICIA: Johnson. A slang term commonly 193 00:09:57,329 --> 00:09:59,798 used for the word 'penis'. 194 00:09:59,830 --> 00:10:04,235 Other terms include dick, schlong, wang, dong, shvantz 195 00:10:05,003 --> 00:10:08,107 Ok, honey. I think you have a few minutes before school 196 00:10:08,139 --> 00:10:10,475 starts to show daddy those costumes. Remember, you're going 197 00:10:10,508 --> 00:10:13,912 to model her costume that she made just for you. 198 00:10:14,412 --> 00:10:17,349 Oh yeah. The uh, nerd fest. 199 00:10:18,383 --> 00:10:20,285 JENNY: CostumeCon, Daddy. 200 00:10:20,317 --> 00:10:24,455 It's my bad, sorry. Yeah I guess it kind of looks like me. 201 00:10:24,489 --> 00:10:26,292 It could be a little bigger. 202 00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:28,259 [CLEARS THROAT] 203 00:10:28,292 --> 00:10:30,328 Looks great, honey. It's just like me. Good job. 204 00:10:31,128 --> 00:10:34,032 You fight crime by being the best athlete in the 205 00:10:34,065 --> 00:10:36,768 universe. You throw basketballs at super villains. 206 00:10:36,801 --> 00:10:38,870 And the villains never know when he's gonna throw balls at them. 207 00:10:38,903 --> 00:10:40,939 Just like his teammates in real life. 208 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:44,977 Funny mommy. Funny mommy. 209 00:10:46,378 --> 00:10:50,014 Ok, go. You're gonna make her late. 210 00:10:50,047 --> 00:10:51,350 Oh and don't forget you're 211 00:10:51,383 --> 00:10:54,051 gonna coach Jenny's game at 5:30. 212 00:10:54,085 --> 00:10:57,122 Oh yeah, of course. But first I've gotta take the jet. 213 00:10:57,154 --> 00:10:59,858 I've gotta go see the Dr. in San Francisco. 214 00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:02,494 But I'm gonna remember. I'm gonna be there. 215 00:11:02,527 --> 00:11:03,561 Don't worry. I said I'd be there. 216 00:11:03,595 --> 00:11:04,562 I'm gonna be there too. 217 00:11:04,595 --> 00:11:05,596 No, you're not because you're 218 00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,965 already suspended for the rest of the season. 219 00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:10,469 Really? You think that's gonna keep me out of there? Please. 220 00:11:10,502 --> 00:11:11,737 Cause you've got a plan. 221 00:11:11,769 --> 00:11:15,540 I've got a plan and my plan is to get uh, nope, you've gotta 222 00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:16,976 get me Eggs Benedict. 223 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:21,479 Oh, double or nothing, bacon. Oh! Nice. 224 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:27,219 [TIRES SCREECHING] 225 00:11:30,922 --> 00:11:33,457 [SCREAMING CROWD] 226 00:11:33,490 --> 00:11:36,360 Alright, thank you. 227 00:11:36,393 --> 00:11:38,129 Here we go, grandma. Come on. 228 00:11:38,162 --> 00:11:39,565 FAN 1: Rich, what're you doing here? 229 00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:41,066 I'm just helping with grandma. 230 00:11:41,099 --> 00:11:43,368 She needs new glasses for her glaucoma. 231 00:11:43,401 --> 00:11:45,370 We're huge Royals fans. 232 00:11:45,402 --> 00:11:48,574 Your grandson is going to lead us to the first WBL Championship 233 00:11:48,606 --> 00:11:50,975 in over 40 years. You must be so proud. 234 00:11:51,676 --> 00:11:55,080 FAN 2: Dude, she is such a GILF. 235 00:11:55,113 --> 00:11:56,614 What the hell is that? 236 00:11:56,648 --> 00:11:59,417 It's like a MILF but for grandmas. 237 00:11:59,450 --> 00:12:00,619 Do you think she's single? 238 00:12:00,652 --> 00:12:03,021 Yeah I think she's single because all of her options are 239 00:12:03,053 --> 00:12:04,455 either dead or can't get it up anymore. 240 00:12:04,489 --> 00:12:05,690 What the hell is wrong with you? 241 00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:08,093 Hey, people have done a lot worse things to become famous, 242 00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:12,263 alright? Hey baby, if you were on Tinder I'd slide right... 243 00:12:12,297 --> 00:12:14,499 into your panties. 244 00:12:14,532 --> 00:12:16,200 Nice. 245 00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:17,268 Diapers? 246 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:18,637 FAN 3: She's out of your league Q-tip. 247 00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:20,139 You lost. 248 00:12:24,408 --> 00:12:27,312 [WHIRRING SOUND] 249 00:12:35,387 --> 00:12:37,156 [THUD] 250 00:12:56,574 --> 00:12:57,609 [POPPING SOUND] 251 00:12:57,642 --> 00:13:02,982 Um, what if we tried that from a different angle? 252 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,353 DOCTOR: We did. I don't know what to tell you Mr. Johnson. 253 00:13:08,286 --> 00:13:10,255 How about the bottom line? 254 00:13:10,287 --> 00:13:13,991 Ok well, the bottom line is, I'm the fifth doctor you've seen and 255 00:13:14,024 --> 00:13:15,894 we all share the same diagnosis. 256 00:13:16,527 --> 00:13:18,229 Your days of playing on that 257 00:13:18,263 --> 00:13:20,431 knee are coming to an end. 258 00:13:22,466 --> 00:13:27,472 Rich, Father Time is undefeated for a reason. 259 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:38,250 Hey Rich, my son gave me that. 260 00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:49,161 These doctors don't know shit. 261 00:13:49,194 --> 00:13:53,399 Screw you. Screw you, father time. Screw you. 262 00:13:54,032 --> 00:13:57,035 If Tom Brady can do it then so can I. 263 00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:59,304 Shit! Shit! Shit! 264 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,377 Sorry, was I just thinking out loud? 265 00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:08,279 OLD LADY: Jesus Christ! You scream like a bitch! 266 00:14:08,846 --> 00:14:11,515 Hey, thanks a lot for coming today. 267 00:14:11,548 --> 00:14:15,553 Here's the 50 bucks I told you I'd give you plus an 268 00:14:15,586 --> 00:14:18,189 extra 10 cause you had to hear all those naughty words. 269 00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:21,159 Do I get to keep the glasses? 270 00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:22,159 Yeah. They look good on you. 271 00:14:22,192 --> 00:14:23,360 Bullshit. 272 00:14:23,393 --> 00:14:25,763 I'm gonna turn them in for the bottle deposit before the 273 00:14:25,797 --> 00:14:28,399 sun hits them and lights my freaking' face on fire. 274 00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:30,501 Just remember, you can't tell anyone what you 275 00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:32,203 just heard. That's part of the deal. 276 00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:34,339 500 bucks. 277 00:14:34,372 --> 00:14:35,573 What? 278 00:14:35,606 --> 00:14:39,710 You heard me. Five Benjamins or I tell everybody the doc said 279 00:14:39,744 --> 00:14:41,580 you shouldn't be playing anymore. 280 00:14:42,113 --> 00:14:44,049 On second thought, maybe I should 281 00:14:44,081 --> 00:14:47,018 say something so Stivers doesn't get caught under the hoop with 282 00:14:47,051 --> 00:14:48,619 his dick in his hands next time. 283 00:14:49,653 --> 00:14:51,489 You've gotta be kidding me. 284 00:14:52,824 --> 00:14:56,462 Three, four, five, there. 285 00:14:57,394 --> 00:15:00,431 And, I'll take your watch. 286 00:15:00,465 --> 00:15:02,066 No. 287 00:15:02,867 --> 00:15:06,471 What, I gotta buy you dinner now too? 288 00:15:06,503 --> 00:15:08,340 No, you're not my type. 289 00:15:08,373 --> 00:15:12,277 Hey Captain. Can this thing drop me at a Red Lobster? 290 00:15:12,844 --> 00:15:16,515 [ROCK BEAT] 291 00:15:26,791 --> 00:15:29,661 Alright guys. Just chill out. Just relax. 292 00:15:29,694 --> 00:15:31,363 I know you guys... 293 00:15:31,696 --> 00:15:36,368 I know you guys know me as like a globally famous athlete. 294 00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:38,770 Ok, you've seen the commercials. 295 00:15:38,802 --> 00:15:40,806 You've seen the sponsorship deals you know. 296 00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:45,411 Guys look guys, chill out. Ok? I'm just a man. 297 00:15:46,043 --> 00:15:49,614 I'm just a man, a man who 298 00:15:49,647 --> 00:15:53,786 loves winning. Yeah, winning! 299 00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:56,321 That's what I'm talking about. What are we doing here? 300 00:15:56,354 --> 00:15:58,556 What is this like mascara here? Alright? 301 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:02,259 No, no mascara alright? The only black I want to see under 302 00:16:02,292 --> 00:16:04,830 your eyes is if you're taking a charge. Sit down. Stop, hey, 303 00:16:04,863 --> 00:16:08,333 hello. Hello, hi, yeah, hi. 304 00:16:08,365 --> 00:16:11,702 We're having a little coaching session here, ok? Yeah. 305 00:16:13,403 --> 00:16:15,706 Your parents telling you to just go 306 00:16:15,739 --> 00:16:16,674 have fun out there? 307 00:16:16,707 --> 00:16:19,677 They're losers. Your parents are all losers. 308 00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:20,711 Dad? 309 00:16:20,744 --> 00:16:22,346 You're calling yourself a loser. 310 00:16:22,379 --> 00:16:24,448 Uh, no. Not me. I mean them. All of them. 311 00:16:24,481 --> 00:16:28,385 All of your parents, not her parent. Your parents are losers. 312 00:16:28,418 --> 00:16:32,456 Her parent is cool. Her parent loves to win. 313 00:16:32,489 --> 00:16:35,326 Look, this is not about having a good time. 314 00:16:35,359 --> 00:16:37,428 This is about what, girls, what? 315 00:16:37,461 --> 00:16:42,266 Wuuuh, wuhhhh, winning! 316 00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:43,734 Winning! 317 00:16:43,768 --> 00:16:46,738 That is the single most important thing that we're going 318 00:16:46,771 --> 00:16:51,376 to do when we go out there is win! Win! It's all about 319 00:16:51,408 --> 00:16:55,813 winning. Ok? Everything. The most important thing in the 320 00:16:55,846 --> 00:17:00,151 world. Not friends, not family, not the environment, not this 321 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,487 plastic problem that we're having. It has nothing to do 322 00:17:02,519 --> 00:17:03,854 with that. It is about winning. 323 00:17:03,888 --> 00:17:06,457 That is the best feeling in the world. 324 00:17:06,957 --> 00:17:09,160 Now come on little ducklings. In the middle. 325 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,529 On three, little ducklings. One, two, three. 326 00:17:10,561 --> 00:17:11,862 TEAM: Lil Ducklings! 327 00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:16,568 [CROWN CHEERING] 328 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,536 Alright, girls. Hustle it up. 329 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:21,373 That's it, come on. Get those re's, girls. 330 00:17:21,406 --> 00:17:24,676 Get out of here, come on. Alright, girls! 331 00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:26,443 HOT DOG MASCOT: Oh shit! You're Rich Johnson. 332 00:17:26,476 --> 00:17:27,778 Oh my God, hey, sign my buns. 333 00:17:27,811 --> 00:17:29,814 No, I'm not. Get out of here, weenie boy. Move it. 334 00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:35,620 Ok. 335 00:17:35,653 --> 00:17:36,788 Just really quick man. 336 00:17:36,821 --> 00:17:39,657 Ok, alright. Ok, now go. Come on. 337 00:17:39,690 --> 00:17:40,691 Let's go girls! 338 00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:43,962 Sorry. Yeah, let's go girls! Come on. Let's go! 339 00:17:43,994 --> 00:17:45,496 Ok, thank you. Thank you. 340 00:17:45,530 --> 00:17:46,565 If you need help I'm right here. 341 00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:47,765 Thank you. Thank you. 342 00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:49,367 Hey, I got coupons. 343 00:17:49,399 --> 00:17:52,436 I'm okay right now, maybe later. Alright girls. Girls. 344 00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:58,643 Shoot! You're a Johnson! 345 00:17:58,676 --> 00:17:59,677 Shut up! 346 00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:00,878 Shoot! 347 00:18:03,247 --> 00:18:04,582 REFEREE: No point. 348 00:18:06,484 --> 00:18:08,853 BULLY: You're a ball hog, just like your dad! 349 00:18:10,554 --> 00:18:14,625 Oh! Foul! That's a foul. 350 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:17,829 I've seen people get pregnant with less contact than that. 351 00:18:21,832 --> 00:18:24,302 Trip, she's trippin' balls ref, come on! 352 00:18:24,802 --> 00:18:27,304 Hey, you people should appreciate me. Any asshole could 353 00:18:27,338 --> 00:18:30,242 yell at a little girl, but it takes a funny one to say that 354 00:18:30,274 --> 00:18:31,442 kind of stuff. 355 00:18:31,475 --> 00:18:32,877 I know it's you, Earl. 356 00:18:32,909 --> 00:18:35,513 You can't see shit. Why don't you bend over 357 00:18:35,545 --> 00:18:38,816 and call the game with your good eye! That's his butt hole 358 00:18:38,850 --> 00:18:39,917 [WHISTLE] 359 00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:41,586 That's it, get out of here! 360 00:18:41,619 --> 00:18:43,254 You want a piece of me? 361 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:44,556 Get out of here, Earl! 362 00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:45,756 Out? It's about time. 363 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:46,758 [CROWD BOOS] 364 00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:50,528 You know what, here! 365 00:18:50,561 --> 00:18:55,500 Hey, look at me! I'm playing soccer. Stupid ass sport! 366 00:19:03,808 --> 00:19:07,613 Let's go girls. Hustle it up. Get those re's come on! 367 00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:13,417 [BUZZER BEEPS] 368 00:19:27,898 --> 00:19:29,667 Girls. 369 00:19:34,004 --> 00:19:35,306 [CROWD OOHS] 370 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,907 Where did this kid come from? 371 00:19:37,574 --> 00:19:40,946 10 seconds left. We're up by 1. Do not let them get a layup. 372 00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:43,514 This is for you, Dick! 373 00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,753 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 374 00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:50,955 [FINAL BUZZER SOUNDS] 375 00:19:50,987 --> 00:19:52,590 [CROWD GASPS] 376 00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:55,694 Oh my God, I hope that's ketchup. 377 00:19:55,726 --> 00:19:59,930 [CRYING SOUNDS] 378 00:20:00,630 --> 00:20:02,667 Mommy! 379 00:20:02,699 --> 00:20:05,803 [ANGRY CROWD NOISES] 380 00:20:08,705 --> 00:20:12,878 [HEAVY SPORTS ROCK] 381 00:20:17,013 --> 00:20:19,751 It's "Weinergate" folks. Rich Johnson decimates a 382 00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:22,454 little girl with one monster rejection. 383 00:20:22,486 --> 00:20:26,757 ANNOUNCER: What a bloody wanker, Rich Johnson put that banger in a 384 00:20:26,791 --> 00:20:28,059 sticky wicket! 385 00:20:28,092 --> 00:20:31,396 YOUTUBER: We have to talk about this weinergate situation. 386 00:20:31,428 --> 00:20:34,398 Rich Johnson just tore up that poor weiner! 387 00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:37,001 Rich, you just took it way too far, man. 388 00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:40,972 [BROADCAST NEWS IN SPANISH] Rich Johnson from Basketball 389 00:20:41,004 --> 00:20:44,641 is involved in weinergate! What is wrong with him! 390 00:20:44,675 --> 00:20:48,647 Hurting a little girl is offensive and wrong! 391 00:20:49,446 --> 00:20:51,148 And the biggest surprise in all of this? 392 00:20:51,182 --> 00:20:53,885 Johnson was actually for the first time ever, 393 00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:55,520 playing some defense. 394 00:20:55,552 --> 00:20:58,756 What is going on with Basketball!? He must go... 395 00:21:01,859 --> 00:21:05,129 The World Basketball League's Vice President Bill Smegman 396 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:07,132 has declared a meeting to determine his fate, 397 00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:09,734 and it doesn't look good. 398 00:21:09,766 --> 00:21:12,571 [UNRULY CROWD NOISES] 399 00:21:19,042 --> 00:21:20,945 Yeah, yeah. You wanna go, huh? 400 00:21:20,977 --> 00:21:22,846 Shouldn't you be handing out some flyers? 401 00:21:22,879 --> 00:21:25,483 Well, I would but I'm incapacitated right now. 402 00:21:25,515 --> 00:21:27,718 Yeah, no thanks to you, you dick head! 403 00:21:27,752 --> 00:21:28,853 Beat it, weenie breath. 404 00:21:28,886 --> 00:21:30,655 You're weenie breath. 405 00:21:32,590 --> 00:21:34,458 Nice, nice. Really nice. 406 00:21:34,492 --> 00:21:35,961 Get him, boys! 407 00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:38,696 Oh, ok, great. 408 00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:41,766 Ok, come on. Ooh, yeah. 409 00:21:41,799 --> 00:21:44,802 Oh, come on. Guys, really. 410 00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:47,639 What are you guys gonna do? 411 00:21:47,671 --> 00:21:52,176 You gonna cheer me to death? Hey, easy. 412 00:21:52,209 --> 00:21:56,480 Just chill out, ok guys? Just chill. Take a chill pill. 413 00:21:56,513 --> 00:21:57,514 Stop, chicken! 414 00:21:57,548 --> 00:22:01,820 [ANIMAL ATTACK SOUNDS] 415 00:22:02,419 --> 00:22:05,556 MR. SMEGMAN: Oh, you're late. What a surprise. 416 00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:07,992 Yeah, uh sorry about that, Shmegs. 417 00:22:08,024 --> 00:22:10,128 I was outside signing autographs 418 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,795 but it's good to see you, Shmegs. 419 00:22:11,829 --> 00:22:14,999 No, it's Smegman, Bill Smegman, ok? 420 00:22:15,032 --> 00:22:18,636 I know, Mr. Smegman. I'm sorry. I was just joking. 421 00:22:18,668 --> 00:22:22,706 You're joking? Yeah well I'm not. You know, you're really 422 00:22:22,740 --> 00:22:25,477 lucky we kept you out of jail for a felony. Do you have 423 00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:29,981 any idea what they do to rich basketball players in jail? 424 00:22:30,013 --> 00:22:32,050 Well, I'm sure it gives a whole new meaning to 425 00:22:32,082 --> 00:22:33,817 the term "taking it to the hole". 426 00:22:33,850 --> 00:22:37,522 Ah, yeah. But not so good for somebody who plays defense as 427 00:22:37,554 --> 00:22:39,490 poorly as you do, pretty boy. 428 00:22:40,157 --> 00:22:41,759 Ouch. 429 00:22:41,792 --> 00:22:45,029 Yeah, but you know what? Look, I got a plan for you. 430 00:22:45,061 --> 00:22:47,698 I don't think you understand but your 431 00:22:47,732 --> 00:22:52,270 grief to dollar ratio is higher than it's ever been in your 432 00:22:52,302 --> 00:22:54,037 entire career. 433 00:22:54,071 --> 00:22:56,608 Well that's good, right? I mean, you're 434 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:57,841 still making money. What do you care? 435 00:22:57,876 --> 00:23:01,145 What are you, an idiot? I don't think you understand the grief 436 00:23:01,177 --> 00:23:04,148 to dollar ratio concept. Huh? 437 00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:06,951 You don't get it, do you? You know what? Let's roll the tape! 438 00:23:11,222 --> 00:23:14,125 [THE NATIONAL ANTHEM] 439 00:23:14,157 --> 00:23:17,861 ANGRY FAN: Oh, come on! Get up you commie or I'm gonna make you 440 00:23:17,895 --> 00:23:19,731 red, white, black and blue. 441 00:23:20,298 --> 00:23:21,733 Come on! 442 00:23:21,765 --> 00:23:24,201 What is this bullshit? Get up. 443 00:23:24,834 --> 00:23:28,939 Come on. This is god damned ridiculous! 444 00:23:29,706 --> 00:23:32,843 [CROWD BOOS] 445 00:23:40,784 --> 00:23:44,121 You know, after all these years, 446 00:23:44,155 --> 00:23:46,190 you're costing us more money 447 00:23:46,223 --> 00:23:48,059 than you're making for us. 448 00:23:48,591 --> 00:23:52,162 Yeah, but you need me. I'm Rich Johnson, super 449 00:23:52,196 --> 00:23:53,865 star basketball player. 450 00:23:53,898 --> 00:23:56,801 You're Rich Johnson, super star ball buster! 451 00:23:58,602 --> 00:23:59,837 You my young friend 452 00:23:59,870 --> 00:24:02,907 are a PR nightmare. It's a full time job managing your bullshit. 453 00:24:02,939 --> 00:24:05,976 All this crap has gone viral. Now we're forced to fix it. 454 00:24:06,010 --> 00:24:07,278 [KNOCK AT THE WINDOW] 455 00:24:07,311 --> 00:24:10,281 [HIGH SCREECHING SOUND] 456 00:24:10,313 --> 00:24:14,017 You know, someone once said, 457 00:24:14,051 --> 00:24:17,254 "a man is only as faithful as his options." 458 00:24:18,356 --> 00:24:19,891 Was that Abe Lincoln? 459 00:24:19,924 --> 00:24:22,961 No, it was Chris Rock. And if you want to be 460 00:24:22,994 --> 00:24:25,830 faithful to this team, you have one option if you want to stay 461 00:24:25,862 --> 00:24:30,734 in the league. Look at this asshole! This is all your fault. 462 00:24:30,767 --> 00:24:31,969 Schmuck. 463 00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:34,038 It's official, starting tomorrow, not 464 00:24:34,071 --> 00:24:37,908 only is Rich Johnson suspended for the next 5 games of the 465 00:24:37,942 --> 00:24:41,279 championship series, but also during the suspension he will 466 00:24:41,311 --> 00:24:44,215 have to lead a charity basketball team, named the 467 00:24:44,247 --> 00:24:47,751 Sacramento Stars, to raise money for various organizations. 468 00:24:47,784 --> 00:24:49,920 We are told if he screws up, 469 00:24:49,954 --> 00:24:52,190 he will be out of the league for good... 470 00:24:52,223 --> 00:24:55,693 But if he completes his service, he will be eligible to 471 00:24:55,725 --> 00:24:58,696 play in Game 7, if the series even goes that far. 472 00:25:01,365 --> 00:25:03,101 I've got you, kid. 473 00:25:06,369 --> 00:25:08,406 Daddy, I wish you didn't have to go. 474 00:25:08,438 --> 00:25:11,208 Yeah, you me and the rest of the world. 475 00:25:11,775 --> 00:25:14,211 Sweetie, can we have a minute, your dad and me? 476 00:25:18,215 --> 00:25:20,251 Hey, practice that three! 477 00:25:20,283 --> 00:25:22,119 You're going to be able to keep your promise, right? 478 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,189 CostumeCon? She has a tiny heart 479 00:25:25,222 --> 00:25:27,658 and she can't afford to be broken by her hero. You. 480 00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:30,095 Of course. Yeah, ok, I said I would be there. 481 00:25:34,298 --> 00:25:36,167 Hey, let me see that 3, come on. 482 00:25:37,234 --> 00:25:41,872 Hey son, why don't you take your WBL MVP trophy and show these 483 00:25:41,906 --> 00:25:44,743 clowns what a real professional basketball player looks like? 484 00:25:46,209 --> 00:25:47,645 [LOUD HORN] 485 00:25:48,779 --> 00:25:50,015 [GLASS BREAKING] 486 00:25:51,415 --> 00:25:53,118 It was a piece of shit anyway. 487 00:26:06,097 --> 00:26:09,667 [GRUNTS] 488 00:26:20,211 --> 00:26:23,381 MOBILE: You're not using your ass enough, Luther. 489 00:26:23,747 --> 00:26:27,084 Come on, Mikey! Use it! 490 00:26:28,918 --> 00:26:32,189 Alright, sweetie. I love you. Talk soon. 491 00:26:33,157 --> 00:26:34,425 I love you. 492 00:26:34,457 --> 00:26:36,393 I love you too. You got this. 493 00:26:36,426 --> 00:26:38,062 Dad. 494 00:26:38,362 --> 00:26:40,965 Yeah. Looks like it's gonna be a lot of fun, son. 495 00:26:40,997 --> 00:26:44,268 Don't share any glasses or needles with these guys. 496 00:26:46,971 --> 00:26:48,373 More like a carnival really. 497 00:26:57,348 --> 00:27:01,086 [HIP HOP SOUNDTRACK FADES IN] 498 00:27:09,159 --> 00:27:12,396 Hey, dude. I left my luggage out there, but be careful, 499 00:27:12,428 --> 00:27:13,530 I've got a laptop. 500 00:27:13,563 --> 00:27:15,734 CARI: There ain't no bellhop here and no man either. 501 00:27:16,266 --> 00:27:18,936 I'm so sorry, ma'am. 502 00:27:19,870 --> 00:27:22,907 Yeah, it's the haircut. It fools a lot of people. 503 00:27:22,939 --> 00:27:26,910 Uh, yeah. It could be the hair. It could also be the bass 504 00:27:26,944 --> 00:27:29,013 drum that seems to lodged in your throat. 505 00:27:33,082 --> 00:27:35,887 Are you saying I have a man's voice? 506 00:27:35,919 --> 00:27:39,556 Um, you know what I probably just need to clean my ears. 507 00:27:39,590 --> 00:27:43,061 MIKE: What up Hollywood superstar in the house! 508 00:27:47,031 --> 00:27:49,200 How the hell did you end up with these freaks? 509 00:27:49,233 --> 00:27:51,869 NICK: Man, it's a crazy story. I think about 10 years ago... 510 00:27:51,901 --> 00:27:53,970 [LOUD SNORING] 511 00:27:54,003 --> 00:27:58,976 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Well I guess that answers that. 512 00:27:59,543 --> 00:28:02,312 Ok. Let me get off you, here. 513 00:28:04,215 --> 00:28:05,850 Excuse me. 514 00:28:07,885 --> 00:28:09,887 Hey, bad idea. That's Mobile's seat. 515 00:28:09,919 --> 00:28:12,122 Yeah, well now it's my seat now. 516 00:28:12,555 --> 00:28:16,426 For a few seconds. Hint, they don't call him Mobile because 517 00:28:16,459 --> 00:28:19,263 he's from Mobile Alabama... even though he is from there. 518 00:28:31,407 --> 00:28:34,078 MOBILE: You're in my seat, Dick. 519 00:28:34,711 --> 00:28:39,117 Oh. Um, I don't see your name anywhere. 520 00:28:39,617 --> 00:28:41,085 Thought you'd say that. 521 00:28:41,118 --> 00:28:44,388 [UPTEMPO DRUM] 522 00:28:49,326 --> 00:28:51,529 Now you see how he got his name. 523 00:28:51,561 --> 00:28:54,165 He moves people, literally. 524 00:28:54,197 --> 00:28:55,166 Tell him, Mathews. 525 00:28:55,198 --> 00:28:56,167 Literally! 526 00:28:56,199 --> 00:28:57,835 You better ask somebody. 527 00:29:04,942 --> 00:29:08,246 Well, thanks Mobile. I wanted to use the restroom anyway. 528 00:29:16,654 --> 00:29:17,922 [BRAKES SCREECH] 529 00:29:17,955 --> 00:29:19,389 [SPLASHES AND SCREAMS] 530 00:29:21,024 --> 00:29:22,959 [LAUGHTER] 531 00:29:22,993 --> 00:29:25,196 [DEEP BASS] That's for saying I sound like a man. 532 00:29:31,201 --> 00:29:33,204 He look like Avatar's shit. 533 00:29:35,438 --> 00:29:37,207 [LAUGHTER QUIETS] 534 00:29:39,510 --> 00:29:43,513 Oh, Luther, 535 00:29:43,546 --> 00:29:45,181 John Luther. 536 00:29:45,215 --> 00:29:46,317 Yeah, I'm surprised you remember. 537 00:29:46,350 --> 00:29:49,186 Oh, come on man. What happened to you? 538 00:29:49,218 --> 00:29:51,087 We were supposed to be in the pros together. 539 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,425 Oh wow. Excuse me, man. Not all of us 540 00:29:54,457 --> 00:29:58,128 got drafted Mr. 1st rounder. I went to Europe. That's the only 541 00:29:58,161 --> 00:30:00,430 That's the only ticket I got so I took it. 542 00:30:00,464 --> 00:30:02,265 I made a nice life for myself over there. 543 00:30:02,299 --> 00:30:04,668 Not, I mean, like your life, 544 00:30:04,702 --> 00:30:06,671 but I was able to take care of my family. 545 00:30:06,704 --> 00:30:09,540 Alright well, at least you have some pro experience, not like 546 00:30:09,572 --> 00:30:12,310 the rest of these losers. What are you doing here? 547 00:30:13,711 --> 00:30:16,047 To keep living the dream, man. 548 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,983 The dream? This is more like a nightmare. 549 00:30:19,350 --> 00:30:24,054 Wow. Nightmare, nightmare. You know what? You might surprise 550 00:30:24,088 --> 00:30:28,225 yourself by doing something you actually like for someone else 551 00:30:28,257 --> 00:30:30,027 other than yourself. 552 00:30:31,094 --> 00:30:35,065 Ok. Alright. Thanks, Tony Robbins. 553 00:30:35,099 --> 00:30:38,936 Yo! Superstar needs a nickname. 554 00:30:39,803 --> 00:30:42,340 MOBILE: With a name like Johnson, who needs one? 555 00:30:42,372 --> 00:30:46,043 Oh, ok. I get it. Johnson. 556 00:30:46,642 --> 00:30:49,713 Good one, Mobile. 557 00:30:49,746 --> 00:30:52,649 [ENGINE STARTS] 558 00:30:55,586 --> 00:30:57,154 [BUS HORN HONKS TWICE] 559 00:30:57,186 --> 00:31:00,358 Oh, this is gonna suck. 560 00:31:00,890 --> 00:31:04,394 [HIP HOP MUSIC FADES IN] 561 00:31:17,774 --> 00:31:20,410 BALLZ: Another day, another dump. 562 00:31:20,444 --> 00:31:22,480 I hope this place has indoor plumbing. 563 00:31:22,513 --> 00:31:26,350 Yo, Mike. You'll get some serious double mattress action 564 00:31:26,382 --> 00:31:27,384 up in this piece. 565 00:31:27,417 --> 00:31:28,686 Don't tell nobody that shit! 566 00:31:28,718 --> 00:31:30,487 What the hell does that mean? 567 00:31:30,521 --> 00:31:31,755 Better pray you never find out. 568 00:31:32,223 --> 00:31:34,591 Well let's just hope that this place has a spa. 569 00:31:34,625 --> 00:31:37,728 No, but we gave you the luxury suite with a Jacuzzi. They gave 570 00:31:37,761 --> 00:31:40,630 it to us for free because tomorrow they're demolishing the 571 00:31:40,664 --> 00:31:42,133 hotel to build up some condos. 572 00:31:42,166 --> 00:31:43,634 A day too late. 573 00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:47,804 You know Rich, feel free to trash the hotel room. 574 00:31:47,838 --> 00:31:48,773 You know, get out all of your 575 00:31:48,805 --> 00:31:49,973 frustrations before the first game, alright? 576 00:31:50,006 --> 00:31:54,244 I mean just tear shit up, alright? Yeah, just go crazy. 577 00:32:05,488 --> 00:32:10,327 You want rock star? I'll show you rock star. I'm Rich Johnson. 578 00:32:10,727 --> 00:32:12,529 I'm Rich Johnson, 579 00:32:12,562 --> 00:32:17,568 ten time WBL all star, all time WBL leading scorer. 580 00:32:19,235 --> 00:32:22,339 Huh, Smegman! You hear that, Smegman? Do you hear that? 581 00:32:22,371 --> 00:32:25,542 Oh, you don't hear me? You wanna feel me, huh? 582 00:32:25,576 --> 00:32:28,246 [SHATTERING AND HEAVY METAL] 583 00:32:45,896 --> 00:32:49,734 I'm a rock star. You feel that, Smegman? 584 00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:54,505 All time leading scorer. WBL! 585 00:33:00,511 --> 00:33:02,513 [POUNDING ON THE DOOR] 586 00:33:02,545 --> 00:33:04,181 [MUSIC ENDS] 587 00:33:08,185 --> 00:33:09,753 MANAGER: What in the hell do you think you're doing? 588 00:33:10,221 --> 00:33:13,224 What's the problem? I thought this place was being raised. 589 00:33:13,256 --> 00:33:14,792 You're building condos, right? 590 00:33:14,824 --> 00:33:17,427 Looks like you're building a bloody nest. 591 00:33:18,294 --> 00:33:20,697 [LAUGHING] 592 00:33:22,765 --> 00:33:24,869 Hey, he fell for the old demolition gag! This 593 00:33:24,901 --> 00:33:27,437 week is gonna be the best week we've ever had within a week. 594 00:33:27,838 --> 00:33:30,475 Hey, this ain't the WBL superstar! 595 00:33:32,208 --> 00:33:35,145 LUTHER: Welcome to the stars, baby. 596 00:33:36,647 --> 00:33:38,715 [HIP HOP MUSIC] 597 00:33:38,748 --> 00:33:42,385 Juvenile. Just juvenile. 598 00:33:46,523 --> 00:33:48,559 [PHONE RINGS] 599 00:33:48,591 --> 00:33:51,395 Hey, it's me. How's the knee? 600 00:33:51,427 --> 00:33:52,428 [POLICE RADIO CHATTER] 601 00:33:52,462 --> 00:33:55,733 Good. Considering now I look 602 00:33:55,765 --> 00:33:59,436 like Papa Smurf. I got thrown in 603 00:33:59,468 --> 00:34:03,806 the air like a rag doll and don't let me forget the 10,000 604 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,276 dollars in damages I've got to pay for this hotel room. 605 00:34:06,310 --> 00:34:08,244 Well look at the bright side. At least your dad's 606 00:34:08,277 --> 00:34:11,214 not on the tour with you and you've got CostumeCon coming up 607 00:34:11,248 --> 00:34:12,483 with you daughter. 608 00:34:12,516 --> 00:34:15,920 And at least we get to play some basketball tomorrow, finally. 609 00:34:19,822 --> 00:34:21,292 Who are you playing? 610 00:34:21,324 --> 00:34:23,359 Some team called the ABS. 611 00:34:23,393 --> 00:34:25,563 They're supposedly the greatest athletes in the 612 00:34:25,596 --> 00:34:27,931 world but they're like a bunch of crybabies. 613 00:34:27,964 --> 00:34:31,468 Mmm. Sounds fun. Well, I love you. 614 00:34:32,368 --> 00:34:34,371 Alright. You too. 615 00:34:37,907 --> 00:34:41,444 [HIP HOP MUSIC FADES IN] 616 00:34:46,016 --> 00:34:48,252 Alright, Rich. Let's keep in 617 00:34:48,284 --> 00:34:51,487 mind that this is for charity, man. Alright so we've got to let 618 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,390 them score some points and we've got to let them win. 619 00:34:54,424 --> 00:34:55,893 We can't them walking around here crying. 620 00:34:55,926 --> 00:34:58,494 That's the weirdest pep talk I've ever heard. 621 00:34:58,527 --> 00:34:59,830 Are you kidding me? 622 00:34:59,862 --> 00:35:04,868 ABS COACH: Gentlemen, you are the best of the best of the best. 623 00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:08,772 Are you kidding me? This is- 624 00:35:08,804 --> 00:35:11,274 This is insane. I thought we were playing a real 625 00:35:11,308 --> 00:35:13,510 basketball game. 626 00:35:13,543 --> 00:35:15,512 I thought we were playing the ABS. You know, athletes 627 00:35:15,545 --> 00:35:19,717 with six packs. This looks like a friggin' playground. 628 00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:22,418 Uh, no. We are playing against the ABS, but 629 00:35:22,451 --> 00:35:24,721 it's the Adult Baby Society. 630 00:35:26,690 --> 00:35:28,426 [BABY NOISES] 631 00:35:29,226 --> 00:35:30,962 Don't you watch Jerry Springer, man? 632 00:35:35,598 --> 00:35:37,033 [BABY WAILS] 633 00:35:37,067 --> 00:35:40,003 Oh! Sorry, sorry babies. My bad. 634 00:35:40,837 --> 00:35:42,806 I think you might want to use this. 635 00:35:43,674 --> 00:35:44,742 [CROWD NOISE] 636 00:35:44,775 --> 00:35:48,545 Yo, who's your daddy? I'm your daddy, that's right. 637 00:35:48,578 --> 00:35:50,581 Yeah, your mama's a ho. 638 00:35:54,717 --> 00:35:56,620 [CROWD BOOS] 639 00:35:57,587 --> 00:36:02,493 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on. Stop crying. Don't cry. 640 00:36:02,525 --> 00:36:04,560 Come on, just be cool. 641 00:36:04,594 --> 00:36:06,764 Just be cool, man. 642 00:36:06,797 --> 00:36:08,831 I don't know what's going on with him. 643 00:36:08,864 --> 00:36:11,268 Don't cry. Come on, no, no, no. stop. 644 00:36:11,935 --> 00:36:14,337 Come on. 645 00:36:14,371 --> 00:36:15,706 Mean, mean man! 646 00:36:16,038 --> 00:36:19,075 I'm mean? I'm mean? Oh come on, 647 00:36:19,109 --> 00:36:23,913 don't be such a baby. Here we go, ok, here we go, ok. 648 00:36:23,947 --> 00:36:26,750 [BONE CRUNCHING HIT] 649 00:36:26,782 --> 00:36:27,951 CROWD: Ohhhhhhhh! 650 00:36:29,118 --> 00:36:30,754 Ay caramba! 651 00:36:33,790 --> 00:36:35,692 I think you gonna need a diaper after that. 652 00:36:35,726 --> 00:36:36,894 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 653 00:36:36,927 --> 00:36:40,864 That's a testicle that's a technical foul. 654 00:36:40,897 --> 00:36:42,665 You just got yourself a time out. 655 00:36:42,699 --> 00:36:46,570 Come here. Get in the corner. 656 00:36:46,603 --> 00:36:49,340 You alright, man? You gonna need a diaper, man? 657 00:36:49,373 --> 00:36:50,875 [CLAPPING] 658 00:36:53,076 --> 00:36:55,545 [BALL SQUEAKS] 659 00:37:01,618 --> 00:37:02,585 [HIP HOP MUSIC] 660 00:37:02,618 --> 00:37:04,454 [BABY CRY] 661 00:37:23,940 --> 00:37:25,943 [CROWD CHEERS] 662 00:37:31,915 --> 00:37:34,552 What is that smell? 663 00:37:35,152 --> 00:37:39,490 [FARTING] 664 00:37:40,156 --> 00:37:41,758 You shit yourself boy? 665 00:37:41,792 --> 00:37:43,460 [FARTING] 666 00:37:43,493 --> 00:37:44,561 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 667 00:37:45,494 --> 00:37:47,663 REFEREE: Time out. 668 00:37:47,697 --> 00:37:52,369 [BABY SOUNDS, FART SOUNDS AND THE SOUND OF FLIES BUZZING] 669 00:37:53,170 --> 00:37:57,541 [HUGE FART SOUNDS] 670 00:37:57,574 --> 00:37:59,476 MOTHER: C'mon sweetie, c'mon babies 671 00:37:59,509 --> 00:38:02,679 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the halftime baby races. 672 00:38:02,712 --> 00:38:05,516 MOM: Drinky drinky! Drinky drinky! 673 00:38:05,549 --> 00:38:07,518 Babies are crouched at the starting line. 674 00:38:07,551 --> 00:38:09,152 The parents are ready too. 675 00:38:09,185 --> 00:38:10,153 I got five... 676 00:38:10,186 --> 00:38:11,889 Bets are being placed. 677 00:38:11,922 --> 00:38:13,424 I got double or nothing- 678 00:38:13,456 --> 00:38:15,058 ANNOUNCER: And some are high. 679 00:38:15,891 --> 00:38:17,794 And they are off. 680 00:38:17,828 --> 00:38:20,931 Big little baby is pulling ahead 681 00:38:20,964 --> 00:38:23,967 and Baby shit your pants is right behind him. 682 00:38:24,234 --> 00:38:27,571 Jason Mamoa baby is falling behind. 683 00:38:27,603 --> 00:38:29,572 Who is gonna- 684 00:38:29,605 --> 00:38:31,207 [CROWD GASPS] 685 00:38:31,241 --> 00:38:34,143 It looks like we've taken a double D detour. 686 00:38:34,177 --> 00:38:36,881 LARGE CHESTED WOMAN: It's ok. It's no problem. 687 00:38:37,614 --> 00:38:40,918 [CHURCH CHOIR] 688 00:38:42,652 --> 00:38:44,188 [CROWD CHEERS] 689 00:38:44,221 --> 00:38:46,623 Tig ol bitties. 690 00:38:46,656 --> 00:38:47,924 Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep. 691 00:38:47,958 --> 00:38:49,226 Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep. 692 00:38:49,259 --> 00:38:50,726 I think I'm in love. 693 00:38:50,759 --> 00:38:52,161 ANNOUNCER: It looks like the race is over. 694 00:38:52,194 --> 00:38:53,663 Come on, babies. 695 00:38:54,297 --> 00:38:56,900 BABIES: Mama, mama, mama. 696 00:38:56,933 --> 00:38:59,802 ANNOUNCER: I mean, who wouldn't want to suck on those titties? 697 00:38:59,835 --> 00:39:00,837 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 698 00:39:00,871 --> 00:39:03,007 Game over! It's feeding time. 699 00:39:03,906 --> 00:39:07,677 Hey man, not bad for your first game. Now tomorrow, I'm 700 00:39:07,710 --> 00:39:09,712 going to introduce you to a big fan of yours. 701 00:39:09,746 --> 00:39:12,215 Oh, you mean we're not playing the adult furries? 702 00:39:12,248 --> 00:39:17,020 Oh man, I think I'm gonna go find that woman. 703 00:39:22,659 --> 00:39:26,697 Whooh! It is hot out here. Why are we here, again? 704 00:39:26,730 --> 00:39:28,732 Worthington is the biggest sponsor we have. 705 00:39:28,764 --> 00:39:30,766 He always writes a fat check. Now I never 706 00:39:30,799 --> 00:39:34,203 met the man, but now that you're on the team he wants us to make 707 00:39:34,237 --> 00:39:35,706 a personal appearance. 708 00:39:35,739 --> 00:39:36,807 Of course he does. 709 00:39:36,839 --> 00:39:40,076 Apparently he loves his animals. Are you allergic? 710 00:39:40,110 --> 00:39:41,712 Not that I know of. 711 00:39:41,744 --> 00:39:43,047 Man, that is a big turtle. 712 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,982 BUTLER: Hello gentlemen. I was just taking Augie for his walk. 713 00:39:46,016 --> 00:39:48,619 Mr. Worthington's is waiting for you, inside. 714 00:39:48,652 --> 00:39:51,188 You'll be taking lemonade with him on the patio. 715 00:39:51,221 --> 00:39:52,790 Oh, lemonade. 716 00:39:53,924 --> 00:39:55,525 Later Augie. 717 00:39:55,558 --> 00:39:59,662 [ANIMAL SOUNDS] 718 00:39:59,696 --> 00:40:00,730 Mr. Worthington? 719 00:40:00,764 --> 00:40:03,234 WORTHINGTON: In here, gentlemen. 720 00:40:06,268 --> 00:40:10,040 Welcome. This is Mr. Dingles. 721 00:40:10,072 --> 00:40:13,243 He's a recent rescue. He's a little bit naughty. 722 00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,880 But then sometimes I like them naughty. 723 00:40:16,913 --> 00:40:19,983 And you've been naughty. Oh, Mr. Dingles. 724 00:40:20,016 --> 00:40:22,686 Where are you going? 725 00:40:24,219 --> 00:40:27,924 Mm. 726 00:40:28,391 --> 00:40:30,127 Let me give you the personal tour 727 00:40:30,159 --> 00:40:34,063 and then after we can grab some lemonade. So, as you can see, 728 00:40:34,096 --> 00:40:38,000 I'm an animal lover. Cats, tortoises, whatever. But then 729 00:40:38,034 --> 00:40:40,203 there's the love of my life Raoul. 730 00:40:40,235 --> 00:40:43,306 Raoul. Oh, Raoul. Oh yeah, 731 00:40:43,339 --> 00:40:47,176 We met him outside. Hey, what's up Raoul? 732 00:40:47,677 --> 00:40:52,015 [LAUGHING] No, silly. That's just my butler. 733 00:40:52,047 --> 00:40:56,953 No, Raoul is a parrot. Yes, this is us in front of the Eiffel 734 00:40:56,987 --> 00:40:59,924 Tower and we went to Rio. 735 00:41:01,223 --> 00:41:03,226 That must be where the honeymoon was. 736 00:41:03,793 --> 00:41:07,096 Would you like to meet Raoul? He's in my bedroom. 737 00:41:07,596 --> 00:41:11,067 Oh, um, yeah. We don't have 738 00:41:11,101 --> 00:41:13,369 to meet Raoul right now. We could probably like 739 00:41:13,402 --> 00:41:16,372 Oh, come on you! 740 00:41:16,406 --> 00:41:19,810 Oh Randy, when the lemonade is 741 00:41:19,842 --> 00:41:21,243 ready, ring the little bell ok? 742 00:41:21,277 --> 00:41:23,080 Yes, Mr. Worthington. 743 00:41:27,851 --> 00:41:30,186 You know, if Raoul's asleep we 744 00:41:30,219 --> 00:41:31,254 could just come back later. 745 00:41:31,288 --> 00:41:34,324 No, he'd just hate me if he missed meeting you. 746 00:41:35,991 --> 00:41:38,828 Here he is, 747 00:41:38,862 --> 00:41:40,197 my pride and joy. 748 00:41:40,230 --> 00:41:41,331 [PARROT CAWS] 749 00:41:42,031 --> 00:41:43,366 This is Raoul. 750 00:41:43,833 --> 00:41:46,703 We're celebrating our 30th Anniversary. 751 00:41:48,804 --> 00:41:51,074 Sorry, do you uh do you mind? 752 00:41:52,042 --> 00:41:53,677 Take off whatever you want. 753 00:41:53,710 --> 00:41:55,878 Hey there, Raoul. How ya doing, buddy? 754 00:41:55,911 --> 00:41:57,246 Raoul want a cracker? 755 00:41:57,279 --> 00:42:00,016 RAOUL: Kiss my ass. Kiss my ass. Johnson's a dick. 756 00:42:00,049 --> 00:42:01,150 Johnson's a dick. 757 00:42:02,786 --> 00:42:04,688 [GONG] 758 00:42:04,721 --> 00:42:06,190 Time for lemonade. 759 00:42:08,991 --> 00:42:10,726 Oh, I forgot my jacket. 760 00:42:10,759 --> 00:42:11,727 Weinergate! 761 00:42:11,761 --> 00:42:12,696 Just shut the door behind you. 762 00:42:12,728 --> 00:42:16,032 Weinergate. Ball-hog pussy. Ball-hog pussy! 763 00:42:16,065 --> 00:42:18,701 Alright, shut up Raoul, ok? 764 00:42:18,735 --> 00:42:19,970 Ball hog! Ball hog! Weinergate! 765 00:42:20,203 --> 00:42:23,306 Weinergate! Ball, ball, ball, ball hog! Hog! 766 00:42:23,339 --> 00:42:25,042 I'm warning you Raoul. You'd better zip it. 767 00:42:28,143 --> 00:42:29,712 F you Raoul! 768 00:42:32,248 --> 00:42:35,052 [HIP HOP] 769 00:42:43,393 --> 00:42:45,095 [SNORES] 770 00:42:45,127 --> 00:42:49,098 [SEWING MACHINE] 771 00:43:00,944 --> 00:43:03,147 [LOUD SNORES] 772 00:43:09,152 --> 00:43:11,188 Hey mom, does this look ok? 773 00:43:11,821 --> 00:43:16,326 Wow! That's fantastic. Even Superman would be jealous. 774 00:43:17,092 --> 00:43:19,730 I only have 4 days to get it ready for CostumeCon! 775 00:43:19,763 --> 00:43:20,964 You're gonna get it done. 776 00:43:21,464 --> 00:43:25,268 I know I will. But do you think Dad will be there to wear it? 777 00:43:26,235 --> 00:43:30,072 I think even your dad can manage to stay out of trouble 778 00:43:30,105 --> 00:43:33,810 for 4 days. 779 00:43:34,877 --> 00:43:37,346 At least I hope. 780 00:43:37,380 --> 00:43:42,319 [80's SYNTH] 781 00:44:10,112 --> 00:44:13,317 [SYNTH CONTINUES] 782 00:44:33,002 --> 00:44:34,138 [MUSIC ENDS] 783 00:44:34,770 --> 00:44:39,008 It has been such a wonderful afternoon. 784 00:44:39,641 --> 00:44:43,212 I'll be right back with that fat check. 785 00:44:43,846 --> 00:44:45,815 What are you doing tonight? 786 00:44:45,848 --> 00:44:48,351 Uh me? Um... 787 00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:51,121 Oh, we have practice. 788 00:44:51,154 --> 00:44:52,121 We don't have practice. 789 00:44:52,154 --> 00:44:54,824 We have practice. We have practice tonight. 790 00:44:54,857 --> 00:44:55,825 We're practicing. 791 00:44:55,859 --> 00:44:56,994 You two work it out. 792 00:45:00,295 --> 00:45:03,167 Oh wow, that was awkward. 793 00:45:05,567 --> 00:45:07,369 Hey, where's your jacket? 794 00:45:07,402 --> 00:45:09,572 Aw, damn. I'll be right back. 795 00:45:09,605 --> 00:45:10,973 Alright, man. 796 00:45:13,375 --> 00:45:15,044 [CAT MEOWS] 797 00:45:15,078 --> 00:45:17,179 Holy shit! 798 00:45:17,212 --> 00:45:19,182 [CAT MEOWS] 799 00:45:22,185 --> 00:45:24,154 RICH: Holy shit! 800 00:45:26,956 --> 00:45:28,058 [CAT MEOWS] 801 00:45:28,090 --> 00:45:29,558 Where's the bird? 802 00:45:29,592 --> 00:45:31,360 In Mr. Dingles. 803 00:45:31,393 --> 00:45:32,596 Oh shit. 804 00:45:33,429 --> 00:45:34,598 What's going on? 805 00:45:34,630 --> 00:45:35,898 Nothing. Nothing. 806 00:45:45,208 --> 00:45:48,144 You naughty, naughty men. 807 00:45:48,177 --> 00:45:53,183 You didn't shut the door behind you. And you killed my love. 808 00:45:53,683 --> 00:45:55,418 Now hold on a second. Raoul 809 00:45:55,451 --> 00:46:00,190 was smack talking me. More than Larry Bird. Larry Bird. 810 00:46:00,223 --> 00:46:05,228 My 5-dollar cat ate my priceless Raoul. 811 00:46:08,364 --> 00:46:12,034 Hey, I'm so sorry, but can we still get that check? 812 00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,042 Get out. 813 00:46:19,074 --> 00:46:22,478 Ok. Ok. Ok. 814 00:46:25,681 --> 00:46:27,950 I'm so sorry, I just have to get my jacket. 815 00:46:27,984 --> 00:46:30,152 Get out! 816 00:46:30,353 --> 00:46:34,258 [SOBS] 817 00:46:36,726 --> 00:46:40,898 [HIP HOP] 818 00:46:46,002 --> 00:46:47,971 You wanna see something really freaky? 819 00:46:50,373 --> 00:46:52,641 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm pretty sure this does 820 00:46:52,674 --> 00:46:54,610 not qualify as consensual. 821 00:46:55,078 --> 00:46:59,116 Relax superstar. I really wanna just show you this. Oh! 822 00:47:00,116 --> 00:47:05,021 That is nasty! That is nasty. 823 00:47:05,054 --> 00:47:07,958 What happened? 824 00:47:07,991 --> 00:47:09,192 What you showed him? 825 00:47:09,225 --> 00:47:11,728 Shit happens, baby! 826 00:47:11,761 --> 00:47:15,299 Oh yeah! You really suck! 827 00:47:16,098 --> 00:47:17,700 It's gonna be hard to top that one. 828 00:47:17,734 --> 00:47:20,603 No, actually don't be too sure about that. 829 00:47:20,636 --> 00:47:25,507 Check this out. Huh? Got this baby at my bachelor party. 830 00:47:25,540 --> 00:47:27,676 Almost got divorced right before I got married. 831 00:47:27,710 --> 00:47:30,045 Ok, ok, hey, hey, ok, ok. 832 00:47:30,078 --> 00:47:32,114 I got one. I got one. Hold on. 833 00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:38,355 Dude, that's a tramp stamp. 834 00:47:40,288 --> 00:47:41,256 What'd you say Mike? 835 00:47:41,290 --> 00:47:42,558 It's a tramp stamp! 836 00:47:42,592 --> 00:47:44,561 [CHOKING SOUNDS] 837 00:47:44,594 --> 00:47:46,763 Whoa, Mobile. Bring it down. Bring it down. 838 00:47:46,795 --> 00:47:49,331 It's art. It's art. Life imitates art. 839 00:47:49,364 --> 00:47:51,033 Yeah, yeah. 840 00:47:52,735 --> 00:47:56,239 What are you guys playing inch worm with your dicks out 841 00:47:56,272 --> 00:47:58,342 back here? 842 00:47:58,808 --> 00:48:00,343 I'm going to the bathroom. 843 00:48:02,511 --> 00:48:06,415 Hey Cari, if you're back here who's driving? 844 00:48:06,449 --> 00:48:07,584 Nick's driving the bus. 845 00:48:07,616 --> 00:48:08,650 [SNORING] 846 00:48:08,683 --> 00:48:11,120 [MAYHEM] 847 00:48:17,159 --> 00:48:19,094 Luther, I can't find my shorts. 848 00:48:19,127 --> 00:48:21,163 Don't trip. I got you. 849 00:48:23,699 --> 00:48:25,201 Aren't these a little short? 850 00:48:25,234 --> 00:48:27,471 Uh, just tuck them in, Ballz. 851 00:48:30,072 --> 00:48:31,473 Hey man, don't you worry about suiting 852 00:48:31,507 --> 00:48:34,110 up. We've got a different uniform for you today. 853 00:48:34,143 --> 00:48:35,712 Let me guess. Smegman's idea? 854 00:48:35,744 --> 00:48:37,279 Anybody hate you more than Smegman? 855 00:48:37,313 --> 00:48:39,715 This season? No, I don't think anybody. 856 00:48:39,748 --> 00:48:42,185 Look, if you really want a chance to play in Game 7, 857 00:48:42,217 --> 00:48:43,118 you'll do it. 858 00:48:43,152 --> 00:48:45,788 Fine. You know what? It'll be a cakewalk. 859 00:48:45,822 --> 00:48:49,492 Yeah, that's what you keep saying. Hey, hey, I don't 860 00:48:49,525 --> 00:48:52,228 suggest you eating locker room sushi. 861 00:48:52,261 --> 00:48:55,398 Oh, come on. Just like that hotel 862 00:48:55,431 --> 00:48:57,134 was gonna be demolished, right? 863 00:48:59,502 --> 00:49:02,639 Man, listen. I'm telling you. That's like eating 7-11 sushi. 864 00:49:02,672 --> 00:49:03,773 Man, don't. 865 00:49:04,473 --> 00:49:08,110 Nick, you never finished your story. How did you end up here? 866 00:49:08,143 --> 00:49:10,379 Yeah, man. It's a crazy ride so basically 867 00:49:10,413 --> 00:49:11,380 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 868 00:49:11,413 --> 00:49:13,182 Dude, what the hell was that? 869 00:49:13,215 --> 00:49:14,551 I'm trying to stop you from passing 870 00:49:14,583 --> 00:49:16,152 out in the middle of your story. 871 00:49:16,185 --> 00:49:17,587 Oh, thanks. 872 00:49:17,619 --> 00:49:18,922 [ROARING CROWD] 873 00:49:18,955 --> 00:49:20,190 ANNOUNCER: State Championship. They're gonna need a miracle. 874 00:49:20,223 --> 00:49:21,123 The all American Nick! 875 00:49:21,157 --> 00:49:23,426 He steals the ball! He's going all the way! 876 00:49:23,458 --> 00:49:25,627 Does he have it? Oh my God. 877 00:49:25,661 --> 00:49:26,561 CHEERLEADER: Seriously? 878 00:49:26,596 --> 00:49:29,099 ANNOUNCER: Is he sleeping? Oh Canada has 879 00:49:29,132 --> 00:49:31,601 lost the game and Nick has lost his career. 880 00:49:31,634 --> 00:49:33,235 and the worst part is... 881 00:49:33,268 --> 00:49:34,270 [SNORING] 882 00:49:34,302 --> 00:49:35,505 Ok. 883 00:49:35,538 --> 00:49:38,340 Alright well, sweet dreams little buddy. 884 00:49:40,342 --> 00:49:45,081 [MEDITATION MUSIC] 885 00:49:46,681 --> 00:49:48,517 What is this? 886 00:49:48,551 --> 00:49:50,719 I thought it'd be a good idea to loosen up with a little 887 00:49:50,752 --> 00:49:52,288 yoga before today's game. 888 00:49:52,855 --> 00:49:56,826 YOGA INSTRUCTOR: Welcome gentlemen and Namaste. 889 00:49:57,194 --> 00:49:59,862 Nah, I'm a leaving. 890 00:49:59,895 --> 00:50:02,297 Yoga's for bitches, dude. 891 00:50:02,331 --> 00:50:05,835 It's a common misconception. Yoga is for males 892 00:50:05,868 --> 00:50:09,505 as well. It comes from a place of strength. It actually helped 893 00:50:09,538 --> 00:50:13,142 me get through my recent divorce. Now I want you to all 894 00:50:13,176 --> 00:50:16,413 say it with me and totally buy in. Namaste. 895 00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,482 TEAM: Namaste. 896 00:50:19,514 --> 00:50:22,784 Beautiful. Beautiful. Bring it back to center. 897 00:50:22,817 --> 00:50:24,253 There we go and we're gonna reach our 898 00:50:24,286 --> 00:50:25,455 arms out for our first stretch. 899 00:50:25,487 --> 00:50:28,790 A modified warrior. Really stretch out. Yeah, feel it in 900 00:50:28,824 --> 00:50:32,494 your delts. And then just move from side to side there you go. 901 00:50:32,527 --> 00:50:35,665 As if you're being served divorce papers and you don't 902 00:50:35,697 --> 00:50:39,902 want to see them. No, get out of here. Get out. I thought you 903 00:50:39,935 --> 00:50:43,205 were a hotdog vendor, not an agent of the court. 904 00:50:44,105 --> 00:50:47,743 Side to side, beautiful. I love what you're doing, yes. 905 00:50:48,210 --> 00:50:50,513 And we're going to bring it back to center. There we go. 906 00:50:50,545 --> 00:50:53,448 Breathe in, breathe out. 907 00:50:53,482 --> 00:50:57,387 Time for the Fatalis pose. Reach 908 00:50:57,420 --> 00:50:58,621 those arms out this time with 909 00:50:58,654 --> 00:51:01,924 your palms facing up. And we're going to ever so gently bend 910 00:51:01,958 --> 00:51:03,593 those biceps, bringing your 911 00:51:03,625 --> 00:51:07,696 palms up to your face like you're wondering, 912 00:51:08,163 --> 00:51:10,465 How did I ever get to this moment? 913 00:51:10,498 --> 00:51:13,435 How did I end up here" 914 00:51:13,469 --> 00:51:16,773 [MURMURING] Oh, he is fucked up. 915 00:51:16,806 --> 00:51:18,708 Where'd you find this guy? 916 00:51:18,741 --> 00:51:20,342 Downtown at the fitness center. 917 00:51:20,375 --> 00:51:22,244 He works at the downtown fitness center? 918 00:51:22,277 --> 00:51:25,881 No, no, no, no. He lives behind the fitness center in the alley. 919 00:51:28,016 --> 00:51:32,955 And we're back to center. We're back to center, beautiful. Now 920 00:51:32,989 --> 00:51:36,391 we're going to end this session as I've ended every night since 921 00:51:36,424 --> 00:51:39,261 my wife left, by leaning forward. 922 00:51:39,761 --> 00:51:42,264 Just slightly leaning forward. We're going to grab onto those 923 00:51:42,297 --> 00:51:45,368 glutes for support. Loosen up our neck. That will be very 924 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,804 important and just bring your head all the way down and try 925 00:51:48,837 --> 00:51:50,239 and suck your own dick. 926 00:51:50,272 --> 00:51:51,307 RANDOM MOM: They're just praying, honey. 927 00:51:51,340 --> 00:51:53,509 Just try and suck your own dick. Really go for it. 928 00:51:53,542 --> 00:51:54,777 What the fuck? 929 00:51:54,810 --> 00:51:57,880 Loosen up. We're losing some but we're gaining others in spirit. 930 00:51:57,913 --> 00:51:59,983 That's ok. I do private lessons. 931 00:52:02,485 --> 00:52:04,020 What the fuck is wrong with you, man? 932 00:52:04,052 --> 00:52:06,623 I do privates. It's ok, I can work with you later. 933 00:52:06,989 --> 00:52:10,627 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Rich Johnson as 934 00:52:10,659 --> 00:52:12,027 twinkle the star. 935 00:52:12,060 --> 00:52:13,228 [CROWD GOES WILD] 936 00:52:13,261 --> 00:52:17,699 That's right. Mr. Twinkle, coming through. Yes ok, gonna 937 00:52:17,732 --> 00:52:21,703 need some hand sanitizer after this. Yup. Sorry about my rays 938 00:52:21,737 --> 00:52:25,508 hitting you. Watch out, rays coming through. Whoa, whoa, 939 00:52:25,540 --> 00:52:29,578 whoa, whoa. Sorry, sorry, ok. 940 00:52:29,612 --> 00:52:31,748 A lot of touching going on. Oh 941 00:52:31,781 --> 00:52:34,417 there he is, yeah, the announcer 942 00:52:34,449 --> 00:52:37,719 with the mostest. Alright, yeah, 943 00:52:37,752 --> 00:52:40,856 whooh... 944 00:52:41,324 --> 00:52:46,529 Ok. I hate you. I hate all of you. This is a nightmare. 945 00:52:49,065 --> 00:52:50,433 [STOMACH SOUNDS] 946 00:52:50,465 --> 00:52:53,969 Oh, yellow is your color Mr. Sunshine. Oh, 947 00:52:54,002 --> 00:52:56,872 mustard boy. I didn't know Big Bird liked basketball. 948 00:52:57,973 --> 00:53:00,810 Screw you, Luther. Screw you! 949 00:53:00,842 --> 00:53:01,911 Alright Old Yeller. 950 00:53:03,212 --> 00:53:06,581 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome your celebrity 951 00:53:06,614 --> 00:53:08,984 referee, Pierre the Mime. 952 00:53:09,018 --> 00:53:11,588 [CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS] 953 00:53:27,402 --> 00:53:30,706 [CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS] 954 00:53:53,094 --> 00:53:55,364 Here you go. 955 00:53:55,397 --> 00:53:56,999 Alright guys, bring it in, bring it in. 956 00:54:05,607 --> 00:54:09,478 Ok look. Now I know you guys are looking at me to make this Vince 957 00:54:09,511 --> 00:54:10,712 Lombardi type speech, right? 958 00:54:10,746 --> 00:54:11,947 Who's Vince Lombardi? 959 00:54:11,980 --> 00:54:14,417 Just pay attention, man! But listen, we gotta keep with the 960 00:54:14,449 --> 00:54:17,386 game plan, alright? Keep the game close and let them win. 961 00:54:17,853 --> 00:54:19,388 Nick! Nick! Wake up! 962 00:54:19,422 --> 00:54:21,757 I was up. I was up. Sorry. 963 00:54:21,790 --> 00:54:24,393 You drooled a little. Hey, I don't think we're 964 00:54:24,427 --> 00:54:26,129 gonna have a problem losing to these guys. 965 00:54:26,161 --> 00:54:28,563 Bullshit! We can beat anybody we wanna beat. 966 00:54:28,596 --> 00:54:30,732 I don't know, Mobile. These monks can ball. 967 00:54:30,766 --> 00:54:35,705 [CROWD CHEERS AND APPLAUDS] 968 00:54:41,543 --> 00:54:45,447 There we go. Pizza here. Get your pizza. 969 00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:50,085 Yeah! Some pizza for you, yeah. Here you go. 970 00:54:50,118 --> 00:54:51,053 ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: Over here. 971 00:54:51,087 --> 00:54:52,755 Here you go. Wait, hold on a second. Here you 972 00:54:52,788 --> 00:54:53,923 go little girl. You want that? 973 00:54:53,956 --> 00:54:54,924 ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: I want a piece. 974 00:54:54,956 --> 00:54:57,826 Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Hello. All for you. 975 00:54:57,860 --> 00:54:58,961 Thank you. Enjoy. 976 00:54:58,993 --> 00:55:02,164 Ah! Oh. I am so sorry. 977 00:55:02,665 --> 00:55:05,034 Sir, I'm, I'm I'm, I'm so sorry. 978 00:55:05,067 --> 00:55:06,302 Let me just get that for you 979 00:55:06,335 --> 00:55:09,005 here. There's some napkins. I think that'll come out. I'm so 980 00:55:09,038 --> 00:55:12,442 sorry to you and your whole gang. Ok, ok. 981 00:55:18,647 --> 00:55:19,681 ANNOUNCER: Jump ball won by the 982 00:55:19,714 --> 00:55:20,816 Monks. 983 00:55:20,850 --> 00:55:23,719 [EVIL LAUGHING] 984 00:55:23,752 --> 00:55:28,491 Over to Red. He shoots. He scores. 985 00:55:29,859 --> 00:55:31,127 Monks steal the ball. 986 00:55:33,996 --> 00:55:37,032 Number 25 doing some mime action and 987 00:55:39,067 --> 00:55:41,203 [STOMACH GRUMBLING] 988 00:55:41,237 --> 00:55:42,905 it appears that Mr. Happy 989 00:55:42,938 --> 00:55:46,008 Star is going for the it's Rich 990 00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:48,977 Johnson and he's drinking the 991 00:55:49,011 --> 00:55:53,949 holy water. Holy crap, the nuns are horrified! Back to the game. 992 00:55:54,917 --> 00:55:56,652 He shoots he scores. 993 00:56:00,089 --> 00:56:03,159 Slam dunk and he pledges himself! Ballz 994 00:56:03,192 --> 00:56:06,728 putting on a one man show. He drives to the hoop and it's up, 995 00:56:06,761 --> 00:56:08,063 slam dunk! 996 00:56:08,496 --> 00:56:10,565 There you go, boy! 997 00:56:10,598 --> 00:56:12,801 ANNOUNCER: And the Sacramento Stars pleasuring each other down 998 00:56:12,835 --> 00:56:14,571 the court. 999 00:56:16,772 --> 00:56:19,542 And it's to the Monks and they score again! 1000 00:56:19,574 --> 00:56:21,977 Friar Tuck holding position. 1001 00:56:23,112 --> 00:56:26,782 Big Red rejects! 1002 00:56:26,815 --> 00:56:28,985 Big Red's feeling power surging through him. 1003 00:56:29,018 --> 00:56:32,155 Big Red passes and another score for the Monks. 1004 00:56:34,188 --> 00:56:36,225 Help! 1005 00:56:38,761 --> 00:56:41,697 ANNOUNCER: Time out Stars. 1006 00:56:42,098 --> 00:56:45,668 We're experiencing technical difficulties. 1007 00:57:00,081 --> 00:57:02,685 And it looks like Ballz has the ball and putting 1008 00:57:02,717 --> 00:57:07,255 on a show, dominating this court all the way down, the master of 1009 00:57:07,288 --> 00:57:08,657 his domain. 1010 00:57:09,924 --> 00:57:11,060 Come on Ballz, you got it. 1011 00:57:11,092 --> 00:57:12,694 I taught him that one. 1012 00:57:12,728 --> 00:57:16,733 [CROWD GROANS AND MURMURS] 1013 00:57:21,703 --> 00:57:23,038 Ballz! 1014 00:57:23,072 --> 00:57:25,742 ANNOUNCER: We now know why they call him balls. 1015 00:57:26,509 --> 00:57:28,311 When I said show em what you got, 1016 00:57:28,344 --> 00:57:30,179 I didn't mean show 'em what you got, got! 1017 00:57:30,212 --> 00:57:31,880 Uh... 1018 00:57:31,913 --> 00:57:34,883 Oh, ho, ho, that's what I call a loose ball 1019 00:57:34,917 --> 00:57:36,819 foul on deez nutz. 1020 00:57:36,851 --> 00:57:37,920 [HALFTIME HORN] 1021 00:57:37,953 --> 00:57:41,324 Twinkle is going to attempt a mascot record, jumping 1022 00:57:41,357 --> 00:57:45,295 over not 1 but 5 monks for your halftime entertainment! 1023 00:57:46,161 --> 00:57:50,667 [FARTING] 1024 00:57:53,835 --> 00:57:54,971 Hey man, are you alright? 1025 00:57:55,003 --> 00:57:56,906 Ugh. I don't feel so good. 1026 00:57:57,572 --> 00:58:00,810 See, I told you not to eat that locker room sushi. 1027 00:58:00,842 --> 00:58:01,877 You didn't want to listen. 1028 00:58:01,909 --> 00:58:02,978 (FART SOUND) 1029 00:58:03,011 --> 00:58:06,281 Oh, wow! 1030 00:58:06,815 --> 00:58:08,384 Ready when you are Twinkles. 1031 00:58:08,417 --> 00:58:10,886 Hey man, you sure you want to do this? 1032 00:58:10,918 --> 00:58:13,922 Alright, alright. Look if you shat yourself it's not my fault. 1033 00:58:16,991 --> 00:58:20,295 [CROWD CHEERING AND CLAPPING] 1034 00:58:25,299 --> 00:58:27,869 [CRUNCHING AND GASPS] 1035 00:58:27,902 --> 00:58:30,739 MONK: My fucking nuts! Oh! 1036 00:58:30,772 --> 00:58:32,674 ANNOUNCER: So much for his vow of silence. 1037 00:58:34,009 --> 00:58:36,813 I'm so sorry, Brother Monk. Am I forgiven? 1038 00:58:37,346 --> 00:58:41,217 You are an asshole. 1039 00:58:42,250 --> 00:58:45,621 [RETCHING] 1040 00:58:48,723 --> 00:58:52,827 Whooh. Hey man, well at least you've got tomorrow off. 1041 00:58:52,860 --> 00:58:54,429 It'll give you a little time to recuperate. 1042 00:58:54,462 --> 00:58:56,865 Yeah, yeah. Maybe. 1043 00:58:57,833 --> 00:58:59,935 I gotta say man, 1044 00:58:59,967 --> 00:59:03,205 you've been good at taking crap from the guys, 1045 00:59:03,237 --> 00:59:05,875 especially for a guy who walks around with a stick 1046 00:59:05,907 --> 00:59:08,344 up his ass. I mean it's a little stick, but you gotta stick 1047 00:59:08,377 --> 00:59:10,380 up your ass. 1048 00:59:10,779 --> 00:59:13,348 I'm just messing with you man. You alright. 1049 00:59:13,382 --> 00:59:18,220 Thank you. You know to show my appreciation to you 1050 00:59:18,252 --> 00:59:22,257 guys, I'd love to cook you all dinner. 1051 00:59:22,857 --> 00:59:24,826 Get the fuck out of here. You cook? 1052 00:59:24,860 --> 00:59:27,897 Yeah, no, well. I'm a good cook. I make a 1053 00:59:27,929 --> 00:59:32,067 mean steak. Some would say it's the balls. 1054 00:59:32,868 --> 00:59:38,074 Um, alright. Hey, I'm always down for a good meal. Alright? 1055 00:59:38,273 --> 00:59:39,074 Ok. 1056 00:59:39,107 --> 00:59:41,109 My man. Alright, I'll see you then. 1057 00:59:41,143 --> 00:59:43,780 See you. See you then. 1058 00:59:45,947 --> 00:59:47,882 See you then. 1059 00:59:47,915 --> 00:59:49,184 Mmmm. 1060 00:59:50,451 --> 00:59:53,822 Alright, huh, guys, you see? 1061 00:59:53,855 --> 00:59:56,725 I gotta say bro, you are not lying. 1062 00:59:56,759 --> 00:59:59,161 This steak is off the chain. 1063 00:59:59,694 --> 01:00:02,030 This actually might be the first time Nick 1064 01:00:02,063 --> 01:00:03,899 stays awake for the entire dinner. 1065 01:00:05,134 --> 01:00:07,969 No, he didn't. 1066 01:00:08,002 --> 01:00:11,106 Here guys, let me top you off with some of Napa Valley's 1067 01:00:11,139 --> 01:00:12,842 finest Penis Noir. 1068 01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:14,476 Pinot Noir. 1069 01:00:14,509 --> 01:00:15,877 Pinot Noir. 1070 01:00:18,313 --> 01:00:19,849 Yo, you got more? 1071 01:00:19,882 --> 01:00:22,018 Oh, yeah. Of course. 1072 01:00:25,119 --> 01:00:27,889 Whoa, how did that get in there? 1073 01:00:30,793 --> 01:00:32,361 I love to cook for my friends. 1074 01:00:32,927 --> 01:00:35,764 Yo, you gotta tell me what you put on this, man. 1075 01:00:35,797 --> 01:00:36,998 It's delicious. 1076 01:00:37,031 --> 01:00:39,367 Yeah, sure, sure, sure. I start with a 1077 01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:42,837 little dry rub, a little aged dry rub and 1078 01:00:42,871 --> 01:00:46,142 just a sprinkle of 1079 01:00:46,174 --> 01:00:48,243 Fromunda cheese before I slap it on the grill. 1080 01:00:48,277 --> 01:00:50,279 Mmm! My mom used to make Fromunda. 1081 01:00:50,311 --> 01:00:51,781 Wow. 1082 01:00:51,813 --> 01:00:53,882 What kind of cheese? 1083 01:00:53,915 --> 01:00:58,853 It's Fromunda cheese. Fromunda cheese. Fromunda cheese. 1084 01:00:58,886 --> 01:01:01,990 Fromunda my balls. Yeah! Yeah! 1085 01:01:02,023 --> 01:01:06,060 [MEN ALL WRETCH AND GAG] 1086 01:01:06,094 --> 01:01:07,396 Oh my God! 1087 01:01:07,429 --> 01:01:09,131 You guys just ate my balls. That's what 1088 01:01:09,163 --> 01:01:10,398 you get for all those pranks! 1089 01:01:10,431 --> 01:01:11,299 You mean to tell me I'll kill you! 1090 01:01:11,333 --> 01:01:13,836 I'll see you tomorrow, teammates! Yeah! 1091 01:01:13,868 --> 01:01:16,371 Get his ass! Get his ass! 1092 01:01:18,507 --> 01:01:22,512 [CAR STARTS AND PEELS OUT] 1093 01:01:28,217 --> 01:01:30,386 That is exquisite. 1094 01:01:30,953 --> 01:01:33,455 Mr. Smegman, when are you going to get me out of this hell 1095 01:01:33,487 --> 01:01:36,157 hole and back in the championship in game 7? 1096 01:01:36,190 --> 01:01:37,993 Really? 1097 01:01:38,025 --> 01:01:41,029 Well let's review your accomplishments so far, genius. 1098 01:01:41,063 --> 01:01:43,833 Number 1: You caused Weinergate 1099 01:01:43,866 --> 01:01:47,503 to go viral. Number 2: You completely trashed a hotel room. 1100 01:01:47,536 --> 01:01:52,007 Number 3: And I hope you're proud of this, you made an adult 1101 01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:55,844 baby cry. Number 4: You killed 1102 01:01:55,877 --> 01:01:57,979 a priceless parrot. And my 1103 01:01:58,013 --> 01:02:00,482 favorite, number 5: You gave a 1104 01:02:00,514 --> 01:02:04,453 monk an unwanted an unnecessary vasectomy. 1105 01:02:04,485 --> 01:02:06,922 40 years, Mr. Smegman. 1106 01:02:06,955 --> 01:02:08,958 40 years of what? 1107 01:02:08,991 --> 01:02:13,494 Since the Sacramento Royals have won a WBL Championship. 1108 01:02:13,527 --> 01:02:16,297 Now look, I know you hate me, but 1109 01:02:16,331 --> 01:02:19,001 this league needs me, ok? 1110 01:02:19,034 --> 01:02:22,905 My team needs me. With my underdog story, these ratings 1111 01:02:22,938 --> 01:02:25,374 will be huge. You gotta get me back to the championship. 1112 01:02:25,406 --> 01:02:27,909 You gotta get me to Game 7. 1113 01:02:27,942 --> 01:02:31,112 You know kid, there's an old saying, if 1114 01:02:31,145 --> 01:02:34,382 you keep saying that everybody is an asshole then maybe the 1115 01:02:34,415 --> 01:02:36,517 asshole is you. 1116 01:02:36,551 --> 01:02:38,587 You love your quotes don't you? 1117 01:02:38,619 --> 01:02:41,422 No, I just love fortune cookies. I am 1118 01:02:41,456 --> 01:02:46,161 giving you one more chance, pretty boy. Don't fuck it up. 1119 01:02:46,194 --> 01:02:48,464 You won't be sorry. 1120 01:02:48,496 --> 01:02:53,502 [HIP HOP INSTRUMENTALS] 1121 01:03:15,190 --> 01:03:18,194 Damn Jenny, that is good. 1122 01:03:20,328 --> 01:03:22,931 Sacramento's buzzing with excitement for game 7. 1123 01:03:22,964 --> 01:03:24,232 The Royals are anxiously awaiting word 1124 01:03:24,266 --> 01:03:25,567 if Rich will be eligible to play. 1125 01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:27,502 We're gonna have so much fun, man. Hey 1126 01:03:27,536 --> 01:03:29,972 Rich, I want you to meet Stan. 1127 01:03:30,005 --> 01:03:33,309 He is the President of the TSA. He's in charge of getting you to 1128 01:03:33,342 --> 01:03:35,644 the airport after the game. You know he's got a friend who works 1129 01:03:35,677 --> 01:03:36,679 at airport security. 1130 01:03:36,712 --> 01:03:38,013 Oh, what do you say? 1131 01:03:38,045 --> 01:03:39,047 Stan the man. 1132 01:03:39,081 --> 01:03:41,417 Oh, huge fan, man. Huge fan. 1133 01:03:41,717 --> 01:03:45,487 Fuck! Fuck! Cocksucker! Motherfucker! 1134 01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:46,655 I'm so sorry, I thought that you 1135 01:03:46,688 --> 01:03:48,057 just said that you were a huge fan. 1136 01:03:48,089 --> 01:03:51,693 Oh yeah, I am a huge fan. Tittyficker! 1137 01:03:51,726 --> 01:03:54,562 Tittyfuck! Limp dick motherfucker! 1138 01:03:54,929 --> 01:03:57,699 TSA PLAYER 1: Fuck! Fucking shit! 1139 01:03:58,333 --> 01:04:02,371 Ok, I think I get it now. TSA stands for 1140 01:04:02,404 --> 01:04:06,208 Jizz weasel motherfuckin' shitballs! Whoohooo! 1141 01:04:06,241 --> 01:04:08,945 Ok, let's get out there and raise some money for the TSA. 1142 01:04:10,177 --> 01:04:11,647 Get me through the airport security so I can 1143 01:04:11,679 --> 01:04:12,982 make it to CostumeCon. 1144 01:04:13,014 --> 01:04:15,150 [HIP HOP MUSIC] 1145 01:04:15,183 --> 01:04:19,722 You ever see a fatty who could fly? Gookaw! Gookaw! 1146 01:04:21,022 --> 01:04:24,359 [CROWD CHEERING] 1147 01:04:26,761 --> 01:04:29,297 TSA PLAYER 2: Military Mic Mac motherfucker! 1148 01:04:29,331 --> 01:04:30,666 [THUD] 1149 01:05:03,464 --> 01:05:05,400 [HORN BLOWS] 1150 01:05:05,433 --> 01:05:09,071 [CROWD CHEERS] 1151 01:05:35,464 --> 01:05:39,634 [CROWD CHEERS] 1152 01:05:44,339 --> 01:05:46,074 [THUD AND GASPS] 1153 01:05:46,107 --> 01:05:48,443 FEMALE FAN: Ass hat! Skittles! 1154 01:05:48,476 --> 01:05:53,114 Daisy! Dick weed! Rich Johnson sucks the big one! 1155 01:05:53,147 --> 01:05:56,084 Ok look, I understand that you suffer from Tourette's 1156 01:05:56,118 --> 01:05:59,487 Syndrome and you can't control yourself but really just try and 1157 01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:00,656 take it down a notch. 1158 01:06:00,688 --> 01:06:02,523 I don't have Tourette's Syndrome. 1159 01:06:02,556 --> 01:06:04,560 I just think you're a big dick! 1160 01:06:05,127 --> 01:06:07,529 You thought we had Tourette's? 1161 01:06:07,830 --> 01:06:08,764 You don't? 1162 01:06:08,797 --> 01:06:12,568 Hey Rich, TSA stands for Therapeutic Swearers 1163 01:06:12,601 --> 01:06:16,171 Association. You know, Tourette's is a neuropsychiatric 1164 01:06:16,203 --> 01:06:19,874 disorder that 100,000 Americans deal with all the time. Now 1165 01:06:19,907 --> 01:06:22,143 these guys, they just do this to relieve stress. 1166 01:06:22,877 --> 01:06:25,179 Ain't that a motherfucker? 1167 01:06:25,212 --> 01:06:27,382 Now you're officially a member. 1168 01:06:30,252 --> 01:06:34,322 Mr. Johnson, I'm gonna need that back. 1169 01:06:34,355 --> 01:06:37,092 Big black's my old reliable. 1170 01:06:38,527 --> 01:06:41,664 [CROWD MURMURS AND GROANS] 1171 01:06:42,931 --> 01:06:46,268 Sorry everyone. Sorry. 1172 01:07:07,221 --> 01:07:11,127 [GULPING SOUNDS] 1173 01:07:17,364 --> 01:07:19,234 [SLAPS AND WHISTLE] 1174 01:07:20,368 --> 01:07:21,436 What the fuck you 1175 01:07:21,469 --> 01:07:23,304 talking about you Mr. Magoo looking motherfucker? 1176 01:07:23,337 --> 01:07:24,572 REFEREE: Foul on 69! 1177 01:07:24,605 --> 01:07:27,243 It's ok. Come on. Come on. It's alright. It's alright. Come on. 1178 01:07:35,583 --> 01:07:38,654 Hey Rich, I heard your wife's hole is bigger. Good luck 1179 01:07:38,686 --> 01:07:42,757 nailing it, fuck face. Air ball! 1180 01:07:43,324 --> 01:07:46,828 Good luck you shit-head. You fucking piece of shit! 1181 01:07:46,860 --> 01:07:49,630 Shut up. Hey! 1182 01:07:49,663 --> 01:07:50,631 Shut up! 1183 01:07:50,665 --> 01:07:51,766 Shit taco! 1184 01:07:51,799 --> 01:07:53,801 Yo, asshole! Good luck! 1185 01:07:53,835 --> 01:07:55,704 Fucking cocksucker! Motherfucker! 1186 01:07:55,737 --> 01:07:59,474 You limp dick titty fucker cumdumpster! Fuck you. Fuck you, 1187 01:07:59,507 --> 01:08:01,877 you shit-stain piece of shit nipple clamp motherfucker! 1188 01:08:01,909 --> 01:08:04,679 Shut up! Time! 1189 01:08:06,714 --> 01:08:08,516 That's crazy. I don't see how 1190 01:08:08,549 --> 01:08:11,519 this is so therapeutic. These people are totally insane. 1191 01:08:11,552 --> 01:08:12,788 They're just cussing all the time. 1192 01:08:12,821 --> 01:08:13,855 Ah man, just take it easy man. 1193 01:08:13,888 --> 01:08:16,657 Drink up. You'll feel better. 1194 01:08:16,691 --> 01:08:17,559 Thank you. 1195 01:08:17,592 --> 01:08:19,761 Yeah, yeah. You got it, man. Go ahead. 1196 01:08:19,794 --> 01:08:21,864 Don't make it hard on yourself out there. 1197 01:08:29,504 --> 01:08:32,808 [CARTOON SOUNDS AND DING] 1198 01:08:32,840 --> 01:08:35,776 [LAUGHTER] 1199 01:08:35,810 --> 01:08:37,812 Boner! 1200 01:08:44,552 --> 01:08:47,755 That's for the steak dinner, jackass! 1201 01:08:53,727 --> 01:08:56,397 What'd you, do feel a breeze? 1202 01:08:58,633 --> 01:09:00,369 Alright. Roseanne Bar naked. 1203 01:09:00,401 --> 01:09:02,703 Donald and Melania Trump doggy style. 1204 01:09:02,736 --> 01:09:05,339 No! It's not going away. I'm gonna miss my flight! 1205 01:09:05,373 --> 01:09:08,777 Roseanne Bar naked. Betty White spread eagle. 1206 01:09:08,810 --> 01:09:11,513 It's not working. I'm gonna miss my flight! 1207 01:09:11,545 --> 01:09:14,782 Down, boy. Just get away. Down, down. 1208 01:09:14,816 --> 01:09:16,018 No! It's not working! 1209 01:09:16,752 --> 01:09:20,722 Burnt popcorn. Wilfred Brimley. That old guy that says diabetes. 1210 01:09:20,754 --> 01:09:22,923 No! It's not working! 1211 01:09:22,956 --> 01:09:25,459 Ok, think of my mom. No, no, no. Think of your 1212 01:09:25,493 --> 01:09:27,562 mom. Think of your mom. Not my mom. Stop thinking about my mom. 1213 01:09:27,594 --> 01:09:28,829 No! It's not working! 1214 01:09:28,862 --> 01:09:33,668 Some hairy ass titties. Think of eating Mr. T's ass, like arg! 1215 01:09:33,701 --> 01:09:35,736 Get that shit out of here, man. 1216 01:09:35,770 --> 01:09:38,040 Hard. Think about it harder. You're not thinking about it enough. 1217 01:09:38,072 --> 01:09:40,042 Ok, wait, wait, wait, wait. Ok, I got it. 1218 01:09:40,075 --> 01:09:41,443 I'm gonna miss my flight. 1219 01:09:41,476 --> 01:09:43,078 I've got it. This is an emergency. 1220 01:09:43,111 --> 01:09:46,982 Ah, ah, put it away. Put it away! 1221 01:09:47,014 --> 01:09:48,850 Back up. Back up. 1222 01:09:48,883 --> 01:09:49,851 Do it. 1223 01:09:49,883 --> 01:09:51,386 Voila! 1224 01:09:51,419 --> 01:09:52,821 [SCREAMS] 1225 01:09:55,423 --> 01:09:57,760 If that don't do it, nothing will. 1226 01:09:58,927 --> 01:10:01,362 It's getting bigger! 1227 01:10:03,431 --> 01:10:06,868 Oh man, we're not gonna make it. 1228 01:10:06,901 --> 01:10:08,670 Don't worry. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 1229 01:10:08,703 --> 01:10:10,638 My friend is gonna get you through, ok? 1230 01:10:11,138 --> 01:10:13,308 ALEX: Thank you. Have a good flight. 1231 01:10:15,142 --> 01:10:17,945 This is Alex. He's gonna get us through security. 1232 01:10:17,978 --> 01:10:20,981 Big dick! Shit. Shit. Shit stain, shiatsu. 1233 01:10:21,014 --> 01:10:23,584 Hey, come on. It's really no time for that, ok? Just chill. 1234 01:10:23,618 --> 01:10:25,020 You know what, my bad. I should have mentioned. 1235 01:10:25,053 --> 01:10:26,121 He actually does have Tourette's. 1236 01:10:26,154 --> 01:10:30,525 Boner! Boner! Boner! Boner! Bomb! Bomb! Bomb! Bomb! 1237 01:10:30,557 --> 01:10:32,093 Hey, don't say that word. Don't say that. Whoa, Guys 1238 01:10:32,127 --> 01:10:33,328 no, I've gotta catch my flight! 1239 01:10:33,361 --> 01:10:37,632 I'm gonna miss my daughter's CostumeCon! Guys, he said boner! 1240 01:10:37,664 --> 01:10:39,500 It's not a bomb it's a boner! 1241 01:10:39,534 --> 01:10:42,670 [HELICOPTER SOUND] 1242 01:10:42,704 --> 01:10:45,674 [DRAMATIC INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC] 1243 01:11:32,954 --> 01:11:37,558 [MUSIC CONTINUES] 1244 01:11:49,736 --> 01:11:53,741 [DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES] 1245 01:12:06,754 --> 01:12:09,658 Thank you. 1246 01:12:10,124 --> 01:12:12,527 [PHONE NOTIFICATION] 1247 01:12:18,866 --> 01:12:20,668 Yo, taxi! 1248 01:12:24,239 --> 01:12:27,976 [RANDOM CROWD NOISE] 1249 01:12:28,008 --> 01:12:30,078 RANDOM PATRON: Boner boy! 1250 01:12:30,111 --> 01:12:33,114 [CROWD CHEERS] 1251 01:12:33,146 --> 01:12:37,585 Hey, hey. Surprise! Surprise! 1252 01:12:40,053 --> 01:12:44,959 Uh, this my brother is your going away party. 1253 01:12:44,993 --> 01:12:47,928 But, unfortunately, it looks like Smegman is gonna enforce 1254 01:12:47,962 --> 01:12:49,763 your permanent suspension from the WBL. 1255 01:12:49,797 --> 01:12:51,500 Yeah, well that doesn't surprise me. 1256 01:12:51,532 --> 01:12:55,035 Yeah so we figured yo, let's have some fun. 1257 01:12:55,069 --> 01:12:58,106 Let's let it hang on out. So we got some hookers in the back for 1258 01:12:58,138 --> 01:13:01,176 you. Ok? Just giving you shit 1259 01:13:01,209 --> 01:13:03,745 man, listen everybody. Please, 1260 01:13:03,777 --> 01:13:06,714 raise your glasses for my brother from another mother, 1261 01:13:06,748 --> 01:13:11,620 pretty Richie. Yeah, right on. L'Chaim. 1262 01:13:15,557 --> 01:13:19,060 Yeah man. You know man, 1263 01:13:19,093 --> 01:13:21,129 you're a lot like me. 1264 01:13:21,161 --> 01:13:22,864 Tall, dark and handsome? 1265 01:13:22,896 --> 01:13:24,231 Ah, you wish. You wish. 1266 01:13:24,264 --> 01:13:28,637 No man um, you know like you I 1267 01:13:28,669 --> 01:13:30,070 put a lot of work in this game 1268 01:13:30,103 --> 01:13:32,039 man. Thinking that every win is 1269 01:13:32,072 --> 01:13:34,241 gonna count and every championship is gonna count and 1270 01:13:34,275 --> 01:13:35,944 people are gonna love me. You 1271 01:13:35,977 --> 01:13:39,114 know, I thought I was gonna have family there forever. But I came 1272 01:13:39,146 --> 01:13:43,117 back for good and man I realized 1273 01:13:43,151 --> 01:13:47,255 shit, I don't know my wife anymore. You know? My kids they 1274 01:13:47,288 --> 01:13:51,293 grew up without me. I don't wanna get sentimental and all 1275 01:13:51,325 --> 01:13:53,227 that but don't end up like me. 1276 01:13:53,261 --> 01:13:55,830 Alright, you still got a chance to make it right with your 1277 01:13:55,862 --> 01:13:59,301 family. Alright? Alright. Do the right thing, baby. 1278 01:14:02,770 --> 01:14:05,139 I'm so sorry I was so hard on you. 1279 01:14:05,173 --> 01:14:07,976 Mobile. That's ok. 1280 01:14:08,008 --> 01:14:12,746 You're gonna be my dick all the time alright, man? I'm 1281 01:14:12,780 --> 01:14:13,915 actually gonna miss you bro. 1282 01:14:13,947 --> 01:14:15,049 I'm gonna miss you too. 1283 01:14:15,083 --> 01:14:17,118 Got any last requests? 1284 01:14:17,151 --> 01:14:20,722 Last requests? Hm. 1285 01:14:20,754 --> 01:14:22,757 From Ballz, any last requests? 1286 01:14:22,789 --> 01:14:25,726 Narcoleptic Nick? Yeah actually, 1287 01:14:25,759 --> 01:14:30,364 last request is, I want to know how Mattress Mike got his name. 1288 01:14:30,397 --> 01:14:33,834 [TEAM CHEERS] 1289 01:14:37,137 --> 01:14:41,642 Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok. This happened like 2 1290 01:14:41,676 --> 01:14:43,678 years ago? Like 1291 01:14:43,710 --> 01:14:46,748 in Lubbock, Texas. Mike wasn't 1292 01:14:46,780 --> 01:14:48,682 answering his phone. 1293 01:14:48,715 --> 01:14:50,884 And he's late for the game. 1294 01:14:50,918 --> 01:14:55,089 So me, Ballz and Cari go to his room. 1295 01:14:59,160 --> 01:15:00,963 [CRIES IN DISGUST] 1296 01:15:03,097 --> 01:15:06,101 It's not what 1297 01:15:06,133 --> 01:15:10,338 it appears. 1298 01:15:12,673 --> 01:15:16,677 [GROANS] 1299 01:15:16,710 --> 01:15:18,914 [LAUGHTER] 1300 01:15:19,813 --> 01:15:21,749 Motor? Motor oil? 1301 01:15:21,782 --> 01:15:24,052 And that's why they call him Mattress Mike! 1302 01:15:24,084 --> 01:15:25,319 Motor oil? 1303 01:15:25,352 --> 01:15:27,722 For maximum viscosity. 1304 01:15:29,190 --> 01:15:33,728 He's nasty, man. Dick in mattress. 1305 01:15:36,364 --> 01:15:39,067 Oh shit, what is that? 1306 01:15:42,370 --> 01:15:45,240 ♪ Well that's alright, mama ♪ 1307 01:15:46,406 --> 01:15:48,308 ♪ That's alright with me ♪ 1308 01:15:48,342 --> 01:15:51,045 ♪ That's alright mama ♪ 1309 01:15:51,079 --> 01:15:53,682 LUMBERJACK: Worst Elvis impersonator ever. 1310 01:15:53,714 --> 01:15:58,085 ♪ That's alright. That's alright. That's alright ♪ 1311 01:15:58,119 --> 01:15:59,954 Dude, shut the fuck up. You sound like 1312 01:15:59,986 --> 01:16:01,187 2 mutes having sex. 1313 01:16:01,222 --> 01:16:04,759 Hey you fucking shut up you motherfucking piece of shit! You 1314 01:16:04,792 --> 01:16:07,696 fuck! I'll suck your cock! I'll suck your cock so good! You 1315 01:16:07,728 --> 01:16:10,865 fucking piece of shit! You twat gobbling ass fister! 1316 01:16:15,136 --> 01:16:16,905 Now I'm gonna fist fuck your mouth, boy. 1317 01:16:16,937 --> 01:16:19,173 Hey, don't be cruel, baby. 1318 01:16:19,206 --> 01:16:20,874 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, 1319 01:16:20,907 --> 01:16:23,745 whoa, whoa. No one no one talks that kind of shit to one of our 1320 01:16:23,777 --> 01:16:28,083 friends, especially a half ass looking Paul Bunyan. 1321 01:16:28,749 --> 01:16:32,286 What the fuck are you going to do about it? Ain't 1322 01:16:32,320 --> 01:16:35,123 you Rich Johnson? You used to actually be somebody. 1323 01:16:35,155 --> 01:16:37,725 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey you fake ass lumberjack. 1324 01:16:37,758 --> 01:16:39,426 Rich Johnson still is somebody. 1325 01:16:39,459 --> 01:16:42,062 Aw, this is cute. This is real cute. 1326 01:16:42,096 --> 01:16:44,433 I got some boys too. Hey boys! 1327 01:16:48,302 --> 01:16:51,406 RICH: You gotta be kidding me. 1328 01:16:54,508 --> 01:16:57,311 You guys want to dance? Let's dance. 1329 01:16:57,344 --> 01:16:59,246 [DING, DING BOXING BELL] 1330 01:16:59,280 --> 01:17:02,016 What are you waiting for? 1331 01:17:02,048 --> 01:17:04,319 You can't play no ball and you're a bunch of pussies! 1332 01:17:04,352 --> 01:17:05,386 [BREAKING GLASS] 1333 01:17:05,419 --> 01:17:07,522 [MASSIVE BRAWL SOUNDS] 1334 01:17:07,554 --> 01:17:12,761 [GANGSTER RAP] 1335 01:17:12,960 --> 01:17:15,763 I wouldn't mind pretending to be walked over. 1336 01:17:15,797 --> 01:17:19,134 I'm gonna get your nuggets! I'm gonna get your nuggets! 1337 01:17:19,167 --> 01:17:20,901 Cockadoodledoo, mother 1338 01:17:24,472 --> 01:17:27,876 I want to take life step by step. 1339 01:17:32,079 --> 01:17:33,749 My turn, ball sack. 1340 01:17:35,816 --> 01:17:38,285 Meet the podiatrist! 1341 01:17:38,319 --> 01:17:40,922 Bacon time! 1342 01:17:43,290 --> 01:17:47,328 What is your purpose? What is your purpose? You a grown ass 1343 01:17:47,361 --> 01:17:48,997 man in a polar bear suit? 1344 01:17:49,030 --> 01:17:51,065 [CROWD CHEERS] 1345 01:17:51,097 --> 01:17:53,834 Yes! We're number 1! 1346 01:17:53,868 --> 01:17:58,139 Yeah! Whooh! 1347 01:17:58,973 --> 01:18:02,476 You know, I mean, amongst other things, 1348 01:18:02,509 --> 01:18:04,545 I don't know why she wasn't feeling me. I mean 1349 01:18:04,579 --> 01:18:05,947 Yeah, right. 1350 01:18:11,218 --> 01:18:15,088 Skinny girls overrated. Bigbootygirls.com 1351 01:18:15,121 --> 01:18:19,194 Oh, hey. I'm sorry about game 7, you know? 1352 01:18:19,227 --> 01:18:20,462 It's just a game. 1353 01:18:20,495 --> 01:18:25,200 Yeah, I guess. But it is a game that I will never play again. 1354 01:18:25,232 --> 01:18:27,000 Look, just cause you don't play for the 1355 01:18:27,034 --> 01:18:29,170 Royals don't mean you can't still play basketball. 1356 01:18:29,203 --> 01:18:31,371 Hey, I was just trying to help. 1357 01:18:31,405 --> 01:18:35,375 Cari, I love those pants on you. 1358 01:18:35,409 --> 01:18:39,580 Thanks for noticing. Ever since I stopped wearing 1359 01:18:39,614 --> 01:18:43,317 underwear, it made all the difference. No panty line, you 1360 01:18:43,351 --> 01:18:46,554 know? Hey fellas, I'll have this started in a minute. I'm gonna 1361 01:18:46,587 --> 01:18:48,923 do a little hand job on it right quick. Ok? 1362 01:18:48,955 --> 01:18:51,959 Aw man, that's nasty and wrong. 1363 01:18:51,993 --> 01:18:54,428 [RETCHING SOUNDS] 1364 01:19:17,384 --> 01:19:20,588 [LIGHT PIANO] 1365 01:19:20,620 --> 01:19:25,426 Hey kid. You like cookies? 1366 01:19:25,459 --> 01:19:28,096 KID: Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 1367 01:19:28,129 --> 01:19:29,964 Easy, alright? I'm here to help. 1368 01:19:29,996 --> 01:19:32,167 How can you help me? 1369 01:19:42,410 --> 01:19:45,179 My old man made me take like 1370 01:19:45,212 --> 01:19:49,551 3,000 shots in the pouring rain. 1371 01:19:50,285 --> 01:19:53,354 Well I didn't have anybody to help me. 1372 01:19:53,387 --> 01:19:57,692 Well you do now. Come on, let's see it. 1373 01:19:57,725 --> 01:19:59,895 Cookies in the cookie jar, yes! 1374 01:20:06,600 --> 01:20:08,402 Hey, fellas. Over there. 1375 01:20:08,436 --> 01:20:10,505 What up, Ballz? 1376 01:20:13,708 --> 01:20:16,044 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, 1377 01:20:16,076 --> 01:20:20,714 no, no, whooh! Yes. Ok, come on. 1378 01:20:20,748 --> 01:20:25,020 Ready? Here we go. Yeah. I'm on you. I'm on you. What you got? 1379 01:20:26,120 --> 01:20:29,724 I'm glad he didn't swat that shit. 1380 01:20:29,757 --> 01:20:31,493 He shoots better than Mike. 1381 01:20:41,002 --> 01:20:43,103 I want you to check something out. 1382 01:20:43,137 --> 01:20:44,706 What if that's his kid? 1383 01:20:46,106 --> 01:20:49,343 He's coming down the lane. He's driving. 1384 01:20:49,377 --> 01:20:54,382 Ooh yeah! Two points. That's what I'm talking about. 1385 01:20:54,914 --> 01:20:57,118 What do you say, Smegman? Come on, man. 1386 01:20:57,151 --> 01:21:00,155 Too little too late. 1387 01:21:01,388 --> 01:21:03,190 [HORN HONKS TWICE] 1388 01:21:03,223 --> 01:21:07,061 Ah man, I gotta get going, but you keep practicing, ok? 1389 01:21:15,302 --> 01:21:19,773 Uh, here. For you. 1390 01:21:19,807 --> 01:21:21,309 Thanks. 1391 01:21:21,342 --> 01:21:23,411 Keep practicing, ok? 1392 01:21:26,379 --> 01:21:28,181 [HORN BLOWS] 1393 01:21:28,214 --> 01:21:31,151 JOE RILEY: We are live. Courtside at the World Basketball League 1394 01:21:31,185 --> 01:21:34,554 Championship Game 7, which is moments away, and we have just 1395 01:21:34,588 --> 01:21:39,259 been handed the news. The WBL has suspended Rich Johnson 1396 01:21:39,293 --> 01:21:43,330 permanently and deservedly so, I might add. 1397 01:21:44,030 --> 01:21:46,066 You know what? Screw you, Joe. 1398 01:21:46,534 --> 01:21:48,636 Go fuck yourself with that suit. 1399 01:21:48,669 --> 01:21:50,638 Go ahead, finish your monkey show. Go ahead. 1400 01:21:50,670 --> 01:21:53,540 Apparently the apple apparently 1401 01:21:53,574 --> 01:21:55,643 the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. 1402 01:21:57,511 --> 01:21:59,513 Mom? Grandpa? Can we go home? 1403 01:22:00,481 --> 01:22:01,715 Yeah, we can go home. 1404 01:22:01,749 --> 01:22:03,684 Yeah, we can go. Get your stuff. 1405 01:22:03,717 --> 01:22:05,052 Get your phone. 1406 01:22:05,084 --> 01:22:08,789 ANNOUNCER: Wait a minute, ladies and gentleman. We seem to have a 1407 01:22:08,822 --> 01:22:13,194 special guest descending from the ceiling. It's a bird. It's a 1408 01:22:13,227 --> 01:22:16,297 plane. It's Rich Johnson man! 1409 01:22:17,197 --> 01:22:18,499 Jenny, it's me! 1410 01:22:20,234 --> 01:22:24,739 Daddy! Mom, it's really him. He's wearing Rich Johnson man! 1411 01:22:29,142 --> 01:22:33,447 [CABLES CREAKING] 1412 01:22:41,554 --> 01:22:43,825 No, no, no. Don't. Just wait. Someone get him down. 1413 01:22:46,259 --> 01:22:47,494 No, no, no, no, no, no! 1414 01:22:47,527 --> 01:22:49,297 [FABRIC RIPPING SOUND EFFECT] 1415 01:22:49,329 --> 01:22:50,764 Yep, I'm naked. 1416 01:22:55,436 --> 01:22:57,072 FAN: That's why you manscape. 1417 01:23:07,414 --> 01:23:12,386 Sorry, sorry. Hey, hey mom. How 1418 01:23:12,419 --> 01:23:16,791 are you? Jenna May. Mildred, hey. 1419 01:23:20,761 --> 01:23:25,633 Aw, impressive? You're a chip off the old Johnson. Good job. 1420 01:23:25,665 --> 01:23:27,368 [CAMERA SHUTTERS] 1421 01:23:27,401 --> 01:23:29,737 Daddy, I knew you'd make it. 1422 01:23:29,770 --> 01:23:30,603 Thank you. 1423 01:23:30,637 --> 01:23:32,472 I just wish your underwear had made it. 1424 01:23:32,505 --> 01:23:36,643 Guys, I'm so sorry I missed CostumeCon. 1425 01:23:36,677 --> 01:23:38,379 I'm so sorry for 1426 01:23:38,411 --> 01:23:40,847 everything. I'm really gonna try and be a better father. Come 1427 01:23:40,880 --> 01:23:43,484 here. Love you guys. 1428 01:23:43,517 --> 01:23:48,289 What is it, baby? What's going on? 1429 01:23:48,955 --> 01:23:52,759 Nothing. I think you're about to go viral again. 1430 01:23:52,793 --> 01:23:55,396 [CAMERA SHUTTER] 1431 01:23:56,029 --> 01:23:59,299 [HIP HOP MUSIC FADING IN] 1432 01:23:59,333 --> 01:24:01,569 ♪ Come on now. Give it all you got I mean ♪ 1433 01:24:01,602 --> 01:24:03,638 ♪ We goin' hot I mean ♪ 1434 01:24:03,670 --> 01:24:05,806 ♪ Can't see you rollin' up and do the mean ♪ 1435 01:24:05,838 --> 01:24:07,908 ♪ Five chicks from my crew might do me so ♪ 1436 01:24:07,941 --> 01:24:10,377 ♪ Just get fresher than you already is I mean ♪ 1437 01:24:10,410 --> 01:24:12,746 ♪ No pressure, because it is what it is we got ♪ 1438 01:24:12,780 --> 01:24:14,782 ♪ Eight bottles of that bubble goodness so ♪ 1439 01:24:14,815 --> 01:24:17,218 ♪ Ask once more, tell her the mere facts ♪ 1440 01:24:17,250 --> 01:24:19,419 ♪ I came in hot boys. Player player ♪ 1441 01:24:19,453 --> 01:24:21,522 ♪ We so fly, get a elevator ♪ 1442 01:24:21,554 --> 01:24:23,391 ♪ Top floor we could be right there ♪ 1443 01:24:23,423 --> 01:24:25,625 ♪ Before we even hitin' party with the drinks in the air ♪ 1444 01:24:25,659 --> 01:24:28,462 ♪ I can't. I want to be selfish. I want it all ♪ 1445 01:24:28,495 --> 01:24:30,631 ♪ The cop that take the tuna steak raw ♪ 1446 01:24:30,664 --> 01:24:32,465 ♪ I don't need a side chick for the side ♪ 1447 01:24:32,499 --> 01:24:34,869 ♪ I wanna fly chick to stare in her eyes ♪ 1448 01:24:34,901 --> 01:24:37,404 ♪ Pick me up in your ride ♪ 1449 01:24:37,437 --> 01:24:39,606 ♪ It's going down tonight ♪ 1450 01:24:39,639 --> 01:24:41,542 ♪ Yeah you got the shish that I like ♪ 1451 01:24:41,575 --> 01:24:43,978 ♪ You stealin my vibe. So damn right ♪ 1452 01:24:44,011 --> 01:24:46,313 ♪ Let's go some place to chill ♪ 1453 01:24:46,347 --> 01:24:48,482 ♪ Pulls up and plays for real ♪ 1454 01:24:48,514 --> 01:24:50,651 ♪ Oh, if you feelin' how I feel ♪ 1455 01:24:50,683 --> 01:24:52,786 ♪ Then lets go and seal the deal ♪ 1456 01:24:52,820 --> 01:24:54,889 ♪ Lets go. Lets go, come on get up ♪ 1457 01:24:54,922 --> 01:24:57,258 ♪ Lets go. Lets go, come on get up ♪ 1458 01:24:57,290 --> 01:24:59,493 ♪ Lets go. Lets go, come on get up ♪ 1459 01:24:59,526 --> 01:25:01,596 ♪ Lets go. Lets go, come on get up ♪ 1460 01:25:01,629 --> 01:25:03,831 ♪ Lets go. Lets go, come on get up ♪ 1461 01:25:03,864 --> 01:25:06,299 ♪ Lets go. Lets go, come on get up ♪ 1462 01:25:06,333 --> 01:25:08,369 ♪ Lets go. Lets go, come on get up ♪ 1463 01:25:09,503 --> 01:25:10,804 ♪ Lets go ♪ 1464 01:25:10,838 --> 01:25:13,340 ♪ Mack mode is back come on rock steady ♪ 1465 01:25:13,374 --> 01:25:15,543 ♪ Heated up Mojave to the Serengeti ♪ 1466 01:25:15,575 --> 01:25:17,777 ♪ Everybody is sweatin' Heading to Hollywood headed back ♪ 1467 01:25:17,811 --> 01:25:19,947 ♪ Studyin' is one of my hobbies watch baby crack ♪ 1468 01:25:19,980 --> 01:25:21,715 ♪ I mean we could never lose ♪ 1469 01:25:21,749 --> 01:25:24,018 ♪ See those shoes. See tattoos ♪ 1470 01:25:24,051 --> 01:25:26,853 ♪ Swipin' jewels to pick up a girl that's uh ♪ 1471 01:25:26,887 --> 01:25:28,822 ♪ Takin' your world is so ♪ 1472 01:25:28,856 --> 01:25:31,292 ♪ Might give 'em what they wanna throw to be ♪ 1473 01:25:31,325 --> 01:25:33,394 ♪ Eskimos ice fishin' and yo ♪ 1474 01:25:33,427 --> 01:25:35,295 ♪ Only ten tonic gin ♪ 1475 01:25:35,329 --> 01:25:37,965 ♪ Consider your sin your head gonna spin ♪ 1476 01:25:37,998 --> 01:25:39,634 ♪ Home girl need to learn her place ♪ 1477 01:25:39,667 --> 01:25:42,335 ♪ Wash yo girls face, I mean ♪ 1478 01:25:42,369 --> 01:25:44,605 ♪ She can get on my level get tossed up ♪ 1479 01:25:44,637 --> 01:25:46,773 ♪ Next thing is your choice ♪ 1480 01:25:46,807 --> 01:25:48,909 ♪ Pick me up in your ride ♪ 1481 01:25:48,941 --> 01:25:51,279 ♪ It's going down tonight ♪ 1482 01:25:51,312 --> 01:25:54,415 ♪ Yeah you got the sh-that I like ♪ 1483 01:25:54,447 --> 01:25:55,982 ♪ You so damn right ♪ 1484 01:25:56,016 --> 01:25:57,918 ♪ Lets go some place to chill ♪ 1485 01:25:57,950 --> 01:26:00,288 ♪ Pulls up and plays for real ♪ 1486 01:26:00,320 --> 01:26:02,522 Jerry O'Connell, show the face. 1487 01:26:03,190 --> 01:26:05,726 I want to tell you that your 1488 01:26:05,758 --> 01:26:08,928 professionalism just got in the way of what could've been a 1489 01:26:08,962 --> 01:26:13,301 great moment. When I flashed my natural born, black breasts in 1490 01:26:13,334 --> 01:26:16,704 your face, you didn't even break character or the reaction that I 1491 01:26:16,736 --> 01:26:19,673 was banking on that I would get today and I'm not sure I want to 1492 01:26:19,706 --> 01:26:22,810 work with you anymore. Do you know how many motherfuckers want 1493 01:26:22,843 --> 01:26:26,313 me to shake my natural born, titties in they goddamn 1494 01:26:26,347 --> 01:26:29,650 face? You need to slide into my DM's and see who the fuck I am. 1495 01:26:29,682 --> 01:26:31,851 But that's ok. It's called acting. You could've 1496 01:26:31,884 --> 01:26:34,922 act surprised. Cut, fuck. I'm tired of talking. 1497 01:26:39,560 --> 01:26:43,630 Wow, that's real shit right there.