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♪ ♪
2
00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:38,320
3
00:00:38,975 --> 00:00:41,411
CHRIS WALLACE: Good evening.
I welcome you to the third
4
00:00:41,444 --> 00:00:43,646
and final of the 2016
presidential debates.
5
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,949
DONALD TRUMP: We either have
a country, or we don't.
6
00:00:45,982 --> 00:00:47,717
HILLARY CLINTON: Rounding up
people who are undocumented...
7
00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:48,852
TRUMP:
We have some bad hombres here.
8
00:00:48,885 --> 00:00:50,254
CLINTON: ...is an idea
that is not in keeping
9
00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:52,789
- with who we are as a nation.
- TRUMP: I tell it like it is.
10
00:00:52,822 --> 00:00:54,657
CLINTON: I'm happy to compare
my 30 years of experience...
11
00:00:54,691 --> 00:00:55,758
TRUMP:
The one thing you have
12
00:00:55,792 --> 00:00:57,694
over me is experience,
but it's bad experience.
13
00:00:57,727 --> 00:00:59,662
We are going to make
America great again,
14
00:00:59,696 --> 00:01:01,631
and it has to start now.
15
00:01:01,664 --> 00:01:03,466
CLINTON: I hope you will
give me a chance
16
00:01:03,499 --> 00:01:04,901
to serve as your president.
17
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,970
FAITH: Donald Trump
told the American people
18
00:01:07,003 --> 00:01:09,639
the truth tonight,
as he always does.
19
00:01:09,672 --> 00:01:11,975
GARY: Hillary Clinton
is the real outsider.
20
00:01:12,008 --> 00:01:14,477
Look, whatever you think
you saw tonight...
21
00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:16,512
You didn't.
You actually saw what I saw,
22
00:01:16,546 --> 00:01:17,780
and I think that
the American people...
23
00:01:17,814 --> 00:01:18,781
Would agree with me.
24
00:01:18,815 --> 00:01:20,817
As long as I say it
repeatedly, doggedly...
25
00:01:20,850 --> 00:01:23,186
And with unearned confidence.
26
00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:25,488
I lie.
27
00:01:25,521 --> 00:01:26,756
I am lying to you.
28
00:01:26,789 --> 00:01:27,824
And you know I lie.
29
00:01:27,857 --> 00:01:29,525
I'm actually in this position
30
00:01:29,559 --> 00:01:31,895
because of how effectively
I lie to you.
31
00:01:31,928 --> 00:01:33,463
Are we clear?
32
00:01:33,496 --> 00:01:34,964
We call this the spin room,
without shame.
33
00:01:34,998 --> 00:01:37,934
Spinning is something you do
to disorient people.
34
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,637
And you all know that,
and yet here we are.
35
00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:42,572
What a wonderful play
we're putting on.
36
00:01:42,605 --> 00:01:43,907
Thank you all so much.
37
00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:45,475
And fuck you, America.
38
00:01:45,508 --> 00:01:47,577
I look forward to lying to you
in the future.
39
00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:48,745
See you at the bar.
40
00:01:48,778 --> 00:01:50,947
- (reporters clamoring)
- Thank you.
41
00:01:55,919 --> 00:01:57,954
- (explosive blast)
- (grunts)
42
00:02:07,630 --> 00:02:09,933
♪ ♪
43
00:02:09,966 --> 00:02:11,235
LESTER HOLT:
Shockwaves across America.
44
00:02:11,268 --> 00:02:12,602
NORAH O'DONNELL:
His surprise victory
45
00:02:12,635 --> 00:02:13,803
defied preelection polling.
46
00:02:13,836 --> 00:02:15,004
JOHN HEILEMANN:
Tectonic-plate-shifting,
47
00:02:15,038 --> 00:02:16,806
9.5 on the Richter scale
earthquake.
48
00:02:16,839 --> 00:02:18,242
JOE SCARBOROUGH:
So that's just a snapshot
49
00:02:18,275 --> 00:02:19,742
of the reaction
we're getting this morning.
50
00:02:19,776 --> 00:02:21,010
And we're still trying to get
51
00:02:21,044 --> 00:02:23,646
our good old pal Gary Zimmer
to talk to us.
52
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,648
MIKA BRZEZINSKI: He's probably
halfway to Canada by now.
53
00:02:25,682 --> 00:02:27,550
SCARBOROUGH: Yeah,
maybe halfway to Canadian Club.
54
00:02:27,583 --> 00:02:29,953
I'd love to ask this guy
what the hell he was thinking.
55
00:02:29,986 --> 00:02:31,955
How did they blow
this election?
56
00:02:31,988 --> 00:02:34,023
- (Brzezinski chuckles)
- Hey, guys, did you find the clip?
57
00:02:34,057 --> 00:02:35,692
You got it? Okay.
58
00:02:35,725 --> 00:02:37,527
This is our good friend
Gary Zimmer,
59
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,963
grand old consigliere
of the Clinton campaign,
60
00:02:39,996 --> 00:02:42,966
not even a week ago
on this program.
61
00:02:42,999 --> 00:02:44,867
- (whooshing sound effect)
- So, you're confident?
62
00:02:44,901 --> 00:02:46,102
GARY (recorded):
Oh, no question.
63
00:02:46,135 --> 00:02:47,837
Hillary's made her case.
64
00:02:47,870 --> 00:02:50,840
She is the most qualified
presidential candidate,
65
00:02:50,873 --> 00:02:52,575
certainly in my lifetime,
maybe ever.
66
00:02:52,608 --> 00:02:54,278
BRZEZINSKI: Donald Trump
will not be president.
67
00:02:54,311 --> 00:02:56,746
GARY: Well, he is
doing well in the South,
68
00:02:56,779 --> 00:02:59,515
so maybe he can be president
of the Confederacy.
69
00:02:59,549 --> 00:03:01,718
BRZEZINSKI: But Ohio,
Michigan, Pennsylvania.
70
00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:03,553
GARY: Mika, he's not winning
Pennsylvania.
71
00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:04,887
He's not winning Michigan.
72
00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:07,857
That rust belt blue wall
is impenetrable. It holds.
73
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:09,092
(Southern accent):
I guarantee.
74
00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:10,827
BRZEZINSKI:
Well, you decided to spend
75
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:12,296
almost no time there
campaigning.
76
00:03:12,329 --> 00:03:13,896
SCARBOROUGH:
Was that a Carville impression?
77
00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:15,732
- (Brzezinski chuckles)
- All right, so wait a minute.
78
00:03:15,765 --> 00:03:17,600
- Tommy, try Gary again.
- GARY (in room): Google, off.
79
00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:19,569
SCARBOROUGH: Okay, we have
Faith Brewster on the line...
80
00:03:19,602 --> 00:03:20,703
GARY:
Hey, Google, off.
81
00:03:20,737 --> 00:03:22,605
GOOGLE: Sorry. Power controls
is not yet supported.
82
00:03:22,638 --> 00:03:24,107
- (phone ringing)
- GARY: Phone lady, decline.
83
00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,142
- PHONE: Try asking again in a different way.
- GARY: Ugh.
84
00:03:26,175 --> 00:03:28,745
Hang up. Hey, Google,
tell phone lady to hang up.
85
00:03:28,778 --> 00:03:30,747
GOOGLE: Sorry, I'm not sure
how to help with that yet.
86
00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:32,715
- GARY: Off, off!
- PHONE: Sorry, I'm still not sure about that.
87
00:03:32,749 --> 00:03:33,850
GARY:
Hey, Google, disengage.
88
00:03:33,883 --> 00:03:34,984
- GOOGLE: Songs aren't available on SiriusXM.
- Abort.
89
00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:36,253
- PHONE: I'm not sure about that.
- Everybody, shut up!
90
00:03:36,286 --> 00:03:38,888
- PHONE: Try asking again in a different way.
- (Gary grunts)
91
00:03:38,921 --> 00:03:41,924
("Still the Same" by Bob Segerpl
92
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,776
♪ You always won ♪
93
00:03:59,809 --> 00:04:02,678
♪ Every time you placed a bet ♪
94
00:04:05,048 --> 00:04:07,550
♪ You're still damn good ♪
95
00:04:08,818 --> 00:04:11,554
♪ No one's gotten to you yet ♪
96
00:04:13,923 --> 00:04:15,925
♪ Every time ♪
97
00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:19,729
♪ They were sure
they had you caught ♪
98
00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:23,566
♪ You were quicker
than they thought ♪
99
00:04:24,934 --> 00:04:29,138
♪ You'd just turn your back
and walk ♪
100
00:04:29,172 --> 00:04:32,675
♪ And you're still the same ♪
101
00:04:32,708 --> 00:04:35,144
♪ I caught up with you
yesterday ♪
102
00:04:35,178 --> 00:04:37,914
♪ Still the same,
still the same ♪
103
00:04:37,947 --> 00:04:39,949
♪ Moving game to game ♪
104
00:04:41,251 --> 00:04:44,720
♪ No one standing in your way ♪
105
00:04:45,988 --> 00:04:50,227
♪ Turning on the charm
long enough ♪
106
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:51,994
♪ To get you by ♪
107
00:04:52,028 --> 00:04:53,896
♪ Still the same ♪
108
00:04:53,930 --> 00:04:55,064
♪ Still the same ♪
109
00:04:55,098 --> 00:04:57,700
♪ You're still the same ♪
110
00:04:58,868 --> 00:05:03,873
♪ You still aim high ♪
111
00:05:08,278 --> 00:05:12,014
♪ Still the same,
still the same ♪
112
00:05:16,152 --> 00:05:19,755
(fading): ♪ Still the same,
still the same. ♪
113
00:05:19,789 --> 00:05:21,791
(birds chirping)
114
00:05:32,802 --> 00:05:34,804
(scrubbing hands)
115
00:05:42,712 --> 00:05:44,013
(water splashing)
116
00:05:44,046 --> 00:05:48,885
♪ There's been a load
of compromisin' ♪
117
00:05:48,918 --> 00:05:53,156
♪ On the road to my horizon ♪
118
00:05:53,189 --> 00:05:56,192
♪ But I'm gonna be
where the lights ♪
119
00:05:56,226 --> 00:06:00,297
♪ Are shinin' on me ♪
120
00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:03,933
♪ Like a rhinestone cowboy ♪
121
00:06:05,801 --> 00:06:10,907
♪ Riding out on a horse
in a star-spangled rodeo ♪
122
00:06:12,909 --> 00:06:15,745
♪ Like a rhinestone cowboy ♪
123
00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:23,119
♪ Getting cards and letters
from people I don't even know ♪
124
00:06:24,954 --> 00:06:29,926
♪ And offers comin'
over the phone. ♪
125
00:06:32,329 --> 00:06:34,697
(song fades)
126
00:06:36,966 --> 00:06:39,203
MAYOR BRAUN: So, if there is
no further discussion,
127
00:06:39,236 --> 00:06:42,272
can I get a motion to vote
on Resolution 1217,
128
00:06:42,306 --> 00:06:45,942
requiring a valid
Wisconsin driver's license
129
00:06:45,975 --> 00:06:48,945
or proof of U.S. citizenship
to qualify
130
00:06:48,978 --> 00:06:52,114
for any state or municipality
program or benefit,
131
00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:55,985
such as food stamps, welfare
and so on and so forth.
132
00:06:56,018 --> 00:06:57,153
PIETKOWSKI:
So moved.
133
00:06:57,186 --> 00:06:58,222
- Second?
- MAN: Second.
134
00:06:58,255 --> 00:06:59,956
I have a second.
It is time...
135
00:06:59,989 --> 00:07:01,891
- Excuse me, fellas.
- Jack, I already told you,
136
00:07:01,924 --> 00:07:03,360
you can widen that easement
on Hamburg...
137
00:07:03,393 --> 00:07:05,962
Um, actually, it's about
138
00:07:05,995 --> 00:07:08,232
that resolution
you're thinking about passing.
139
00:07:08,265 --> 00:07:11,268
With all due respect, Colonel,
that discussion has ended.
140
00:07:11,301 --> 00:07:13,102
Yeah, yeah. So I heard.
141
00:07:13,135 --> 00:07:15,037
But, uh...
142
00:07:15,071 --> 00:07:17,307
the thing is that, um...
143
00:07:17,341 --> 00:07:19,309
it's a bad idea.
144
00:07:19,343 --> 00:07:21,777
- Y-You can't...
- Uh, okay, well,
145
00:07:21,811 --> 00:07:23,247
I already seconded,
but whatever.
146
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,382
JACK: I know we're in
a bad spot, but...
147
00:07:25,415 --> 00:07:27,083
you can't bring it back
148
00:07:27,116 --> 00:07:29,118
by throwing these people
under the bus.
149
00:07:29,151 --> 00:07:31,887
Whoa, we're not throwing
anybody under anything, Jack.
150
00:07:31,921 --> 00:07:33,357
(sighs)
Money was tight
151
00:07:33,390 --> 00:07:36,058
when the base was still open,
but now...
152
00:07:36,092 --> 00:07:37,994
I mean, we just
got to be smart.
153
00:07:38,027 --> 00:07:39,996
We got to eliminate
cheating the programs.
154
00:07:40,029 --> 00:07:42,332
There's not a damn soul
using those programs
155
00:07:42,366 --> 00:07:44,268
that doesn't need 'em,
and you know it.
156
00:07:44,301 --> 00:07:47,237
And all they need to do
is produce the acceptable I.D.,
157
00:07:47,271 --> 00:07:48,572
and the benefits will be...
158
00:07:48,605 --> 00:07:50,340
And you know
they can't do that.
159
00:07:50,374 --> 00:07:53,210
Well... (sighs)
I don't make the rules, Jack.
160
00:07:55,011 --> 00:07:57,113
I mean, I do, I guess.
161
00:07:57,146 --> 00:08:00,217
Not by myself, but...
this is over.
162
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:03,019
(grunts)
163
00:08:03,052 --> 00:08:05,222
BRAUN: Okay, we have a motion
that has been seconded.
164
00:08:05,255 --> 00:08:07,291
It is time to bring it
to a vote.
165
00:08:07,324 --> 00:08:09,125
Uh, you know, uh,
just curious...
166
00:08:09,158 --> 00:08:11,328
you know,
when the river backed up
167
00:08:11,361 --> 00:08:13,297
and the folks
you think might be cheating
168
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:15,831
stood shoulder to shoulder
with us
169
00:08:15,865 --> 00:08:19,303
stuffing sandbags
for three days straight,
170
00:08:19,336 --> 00:08:22,306
ended up saving your store,
you check their I.D.'s then?
171
00:08:22,339 --> 00:08:24,040
BRAUN:
Discussion's closed, Jack.
172
00:08:24,073 --> 00:08:25,941
You checking I.D.'s
when they're bringing food
173
00:08:25,975 --> 00:08:28,077
- to the church potlucks, Walt?
- (gavel slamming)
174
00:08:29,145 --> 00:08:30,414
Enough, Jack.
175
00:08:30,447 --> 00:08:32,215
You had your say.
176
00:08:34,183 --> 00:08:35,985
(sets down gavel)
177
00:08:36,018 --> 00:08:37,987
Look, we got rules here,
178
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:39,623
but that don't make us
bad people.
179
00:08:39,656 --> 00:08:42,058
I'm not saying
you're a bad person, Billy.
180
00:08:42,091 --> 00:08:44,294
I'm saying you're scared.
181
00:08:44,328 --> 00:08:46,396
Hell, we all are.
182
00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:51,000
Damn town went from 15,000
to five overnight,
183
00:08:51,033 --> 00:08:53,135
and business went with it.
184
00:08:53,169 --> 00:08:56,972
We're not bringing it back
by... by turning on each other.
185
00:08:57,973 --> 00:08:59,343
Corps taught me the chain's
186
00:08:59,376 --> 00:09:01,944
only as strong
as its weakest link.
187
00:09:01,977 --> 00:09:04,914
And Father Heuvel here
188
00:09:04,947 --> 00:09:07,083
taught me that I am
my brother's keeper.
189
00:09:07,116 --> 00:09:08,951
GARY: Wait. Go back
to that "weak link" part.
190
00:09:08,984 --> 00:09:11,120
Whatever you do for the least
of us, you do for the Lord.
191
00:09:11,153 --> 00:09:12,289
- EVAN: Yeah, okay. Yeah.
- (mouse clicking)
192
00:09:12,322 --> 00:09:14,123
I mean, could this guy work?
193
00:09:14,156 --> 00:09:15,425
Corps taught me the chain's
194
00:09:15,459 --> 00:09:17,893
only as strong
as its weakest link.
195
00:09:17,927 --> 00:09:19,329
Hmm. Pretty good.
196
00:09:19,363 --> 00:09:21,931
- EVAN: Mm-hmm.
- JACK: And Father Heuvel here
197
00:09:21,964 --> 00:09:24,166
taught me that I am
my brother's keeper.
198
00:09:24,201 --> 00:09:27,002
Whatever you do for the least
of us, you do for the Lord.
199
00:09:27,036 --> 00:09:29,306
GARY: Looks conservative,
sounds progressive.
200
00:09:29,339 --> 00:09:32,041
- EVAN: Mm-hmm.
- JACK: The point is,
201
00:09:32,074 --> 00:09:36,112
it's easy to be strong
of character in the good times.
202
00:09:36,145 --> 00:09:38,448
The test is the bad times.
203
00:09:38,482 --> 00:09:41,685
If you can't live
your principles then, well...
204
00:09:41,718 --> 00:09:45,020
I guess they aren't principles;
they're just hobbies.
205
00:09:46,323 --> 00:09:47,457
Where is this again?
206
00:09:47,491 --> 00:09:48,924
Wisconsin.
207
00:09:48,958 --> 00:09:51,093
Deerlaken.
208
00:09:51,127 --> 00:09:53,530
- Deerlaken.
- Mm-hmm.
209
00:09:53,563 --> 00:09:55,131
Gentlemen...
210
00:09:55,164 --> 00:09:57,933
this square-jawed paragon
of Americana
211
00:09:57,967 --> 00:10:02,037
is our goddamn key
back into the forbidden city.
212
00:10:02,071 --> 00:10:03,939
- Well, that's my stop. (laughs)
- Sit. Kurt, sit.
213
00:10:03,973 --> 00:10:05,308
- Call me when he gets to the point.
- Nope.
214
00:10:05,342 --> 00:10:06,443
You're not going anywhere.
No, sit.
215
00:10:06,476 --> 00:10:07,943
And we have Alan to thank
216
00:10:07,977 --> 00:10:09,713
for bringing this man
to our attention.
217
00:10:09,746 --> 00:10:12,215
- It's Evan.
- Did I happen to mention that
218
00:10:12,249 --> 00:10:14,217
he is a veteran of
the United States Marine Corps?
219
00:10:14,251 --> 00:10:16,253
- OTHERS: Yes.
- And a farmer.
220
00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:17,320
- Um... you did.
- MAN: I believe so.
221
00:10:17,354 --> 00:10:19,088
And did I happen to mention
that he's a widower?
222
00:10:19,121 --> 00:10:19,989
- Impressive.
- All right. Well done.
223
00:10:20,022 --> 00:10:21,324
GARY:
A man who makes Joe the Plumber
224
00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:23,025
look like Dukakis in mom jeans
225
00:10:23,058 --> 00:10:24,994
- and a fucking Easter bonnet...
- (laughter)
226
00:10:25,027 --> 00:10:26,430
in the reddest of counties
227
00:10:26,463 --> 00:10:29,566
- in the great now swing state of Wisconsin...
- Mm-hmm.
228
00:10:29,599 --> 00:10:31,033
...is...
229
00:10:32,335 --> 00:10:34,337
...a Democrat.
230
00:10:34,371 --> 00:10:36,172
Uh, he's a Democrat?
231
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:37,441
Yeah.
232
00:10:37,474 --> 00:10:39,409
He just doesn't know it yet.
233
00:10:39,443 --> 00:10:41,511
Well, here's the idea:
I get on a plane,
234
00:10:41,545 --> 00:10:44,414
and I go to Wisconsin,
and I use this guy
235
00:10:44,448 --> 00:10:47,317
to road-test a more
rural-friendly message.
236
00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:50,554
It's a mayoral race...
in the middle of nowhere.
237
00:10:50,587 --> 00:10:52,456
Uh, I don't get
how this helps us.
238
00:10:52,489 --> 00:10:55,124
There are two million rural
votes in these states alone.
239
00:10:55,157 --> 00:10:57,227
If we lost them 2.7 to one
instead of three to one,
240
00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:59,396
we'd win,
but we didn't even try.
241
00:10:59,429 --> 00:11:01,096
Their base turned out.
Ours didn't.
242
00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:04,133
If we find a candidate
to activate our base...
243
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:07,169
if our African Americans
244
00:11:07,204 --> 00:11:08,338
(heavily accented):
and Latino communities...
245
00:11:08,371 --> 00:11:09,339
It's just "Latino."
246
00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:11,541
...show up, we win.
247
00:11:11,575 --> 00:11:14,076
We have to get the rural voters
back into the tent,
248
00:11:14,109 --> 00:11:15,212
even just a little bit.
249
00:11:15,245 --> 00:11:16,780
Well, if it's all
the same to you,
250
00:11:16,813 --> 00:11:17,914
I'll stick with pandering
251
00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:22,285
to our special-interest groups,
thank you very much.
252
00:11:22,319 --> 00:11:26,490
GROUP (chanting):
Sí, se puede. Sí, se puede.
253
00:11:26,523 --> 00:11:29,493
- Sí, se...
- I like the idea of expanding our base.
254
00:11:29,526 --> 00:11:32,496
Not taking any voter
for granted.
255
00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:34,798
It does have some merit.
256
00:11:34,831 --> 00:11:37,066
♪ ♪
257
00:11:38,335 --> 00:11:39,101
WOMAN: Good morning.
Gary Zimmer's office.
258
00:11:39,134 --> 00:11:40,370
ASSISTANT:
Okay, so we'll make sure
259
00:11:40,403 --> 00:11:42,037
a car comes here
and picks you up,
260
00:11:42,071 --> 00:11:43,507
- and we'll make sure the driver is Frank.
- Okay.
261
00:11:43,540 --> 00:11:45,107
Um, it's a two-hour flight,
262
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:46,543
but you'll gain an hour
when you get there.
263
00:11:46,576 --> 00:11:49,279
- (sighs) What is that?
- The 7 Series.
264
00:11:49,312 --> 00:11:52,047
It was the closest thing
they had to your Tesla, but...
265
00:11:52,081 --> 00:11:54,083
Just take a Sharpie, and write
"liberal city douchebag"
266
00:11:54,116 --> 00:11:55,252
on my forehead, okay?
267
00:11:55,285 --> 00:11:56,586
- Come on, guys.
- Yeah.
268
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,255
Um, Accord?
269
00:11:58,288 --> 00:11:59,556
I'm traveling to America.
270
00:11:59,589 --> 00:12:01,525
Explorer, neutral color.
271
00:12:01,558 --> 00:12:03,192
And pack me like a conference.
272
00:12:03,226 --> 00:12:04,294
Davos? TED?
273
00:12:04,327 --> 00:12:05,829
Aspen, weekend package.
274
00:12:05,862 --> 00:12:07,330
- Thank you.
- Great.
275
00:12:07,364 --> 00:12:08,532
Oh, and, guys, you know what?
276
00:12:08,565 --> 00:12:10,267
Keep it simple.
277
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,401
Simple. No frills.
278
00:12:11,434 --> 00:12:12,602
- Thank you.
- Got it. - Sure.
279
00:12:12,636 --> 00:12:14,136
Great.
280
00:12:14,169 --> 00:12:16,606
Although, if the Explorer
has a-a Bose
281
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,408
or a Bang & Olufsen
sound package,
282
00:12:18,441 --> 00:12:20,343
if they have it...
(clicks tongue) it'd be good.
283
00:12:20,377 --> 00:12:22,546
- Great.
- Gotcha.
284
00:12:22,579 --> 00:12:25,114
Did they say anything
about catering?
285
00:12:25,147 --> 00:12:26,416
Not yet.
286
00:12:26,449 --> 00:12:28,117
Those little mozzarella balls
would be great.
287
00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:29,386
- Yeah?
- Caprese salad.
288
00:12:29,419 --> 00:12:30,687
- Something light. Balsamic.
- Yeah, just...
289
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,255
Balsamic, all that jazz?
290
00:12:32,289 --> 00:12:33,623
Cool.
291
00:12:37,527 --> 00:12:38,595
Nothing.
292
00:12:38,628 --> 00:12:40,129
- Cool.
- (Gary laughing)
293
00:12:40,162 --> 00:12:42,399
That's fun.
294
00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:44,501
(sighs)
295
00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:45,869
SPORTSCASTER:
He'll flip the short pass.
296
00:12:45,902 --> 00:12:47,604
Complete to Anderson.
He's at the 35.
297
00:12:47,637 --> 00:12:49,239
He moves to the 30-yard line...
298
00:12:49,272 --> 00:12:51,106
- Here you go, Mr. Zimmer.
- Oh, thank you.
299
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:52,409
NARRATOR (over TV):
Trailing by three points...
300
00:12:52,442 --> 00:12:53,710
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
301
00:12:53,743 --> 00:12:57,681
...with time running out,
the Packers roll 68 yards
302
00:12:57,714 --> 00:13:01,284
across the frozen field
and into legend.
303
00:13:01,318 --> 00:13:02,686
(dramatic music plays over TV)
304
00:13:02,719 --> 00:13:04,354
SPORTSCASTER: He flips
the pass. It's complete.
305
00:13:04,387 --> 00:13:06,323
To Chuck Mercein.
He's at the 25, the 20...
306
00:13:06,356 --> 00:13:08,525
NARRATOR: With only
three minutes to play,
307
00:13:08,558 --> 00:13:11,528
all the hopes and dreams
of an entire season
308
00:13:11,561 --> 00:13:14,196
rested on the shoulders
of one man.
309
00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:17,601
♪ Like a rhinestone cowboy ♪
310
00:13:19,736 --> 00:13:22,305
♪ Riding out on a horse ♪
311
00:13:22,339 --> 00:13:26,209
♪ In a star-spangled rodeo ♪
312
00:13:26,242 --> 00:13:27,611
- ♪ Like a rhine... ♪
- (changes station)
313
00:13:27,644 --> 00:13:29,245
TERRY GROSS:
This is "Fresh Air."
314
00:13:29,279 --> 00:13:30,480
- I'm Terry Gross.
- (takes deep breath)
315
00:13:30,513 --> 00:13:31,615
Richard Rodgers
and Oscar Hammerstein
316
00:13:31,648 --> 00:13:33,717
had one of the most successful
317
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:36,386
musical partnerships
of the 20th century.
318
00:13:36,419 --> 00:13:39,356
TODD S. PURDUM: But I also
think it's-it's a canard
319
00:13:39,389 --> 00:13:41,224
that Hammerstein
can't write funny songs.
320
00:13:41,257 --> 00:13:42,659
GROSS:
She's got a beautiful voice,
321
00:13:42,692 --> 00:13:44,327
so let's hear her singing
322
00:13:44,361 --> 00:13:45,629
"Everybody's
Got a Home but Me."
323
00:13:45,662 --> 00:13:47,464
Will you set the scene for us
324
00:13:47,497 --> 00:13:49,666
about where this song fits
into the show?
325
00:13:49,699 --> 00:13:51,368
PURDUM:
Well, this young prostitute
326
00:13:51,401 --> 00:13:53,236
has just arrived in Monterey...
327
00:13:54,404 --> 00:13:56,506
(vehicle door opens, closes)
328
00:13:56,539 --> 00:13:58,541
(indistinct chatter)
329
00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:02,612
- (sighs)
- BARTENDER: Oh.
330
00:14:02,646 --> 00:14:04,314
- Evening.
- Hey.
331
00:14:04,347 --> 00:14:05,515
Hi. What can I get you?
332
00:14:05,548 --> 00:14:08,518
Uh, how about
a Bud and a burger?
333
00:14:08,551 --> 00:14:11,454
That sounds good.
334
00:14:11,488 --> 00:14:13,623
- Thank you so much.
- Sure thing.
335
00:14:13,657 --> 00:14:15,291
Coming up.
336
00:14:16,393 --> 00:14:17,427
- Hey, Charlie.
- (knocking)
337
00:14:21,231 --> 00:14:22,766
Tough day?
338
00:14:22,799 --> 00:14:25,268
- A long day, traveling.
- Oh, yeah?
339
00:14:25,301 --> 00:14:27,303
- Where from?
- Washington, D.C.
340
00:14:27,337 --> 00:14:29,539
Man, I ain't been there since,
like, a school trip.
341
00:14:29,572 --> 00:14:31,508
Can't even remember
how many years ago that was.
342
00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:32,575
- It was 29. 29 years.
- Yeah?
343
00:14:32,609 --> 00:14:35,311
- Was it?
- 29 years. Ms. Heuvel's history class.
344
00:14:35,345 --> 00:14:36,680
- That's what it was. Ms. Heuvel's history class.
- Yeah.
345
00:14:36,713 --> 00:14:38,481
Security guards chased us out
of the Space Museum.
346
00:14:38,515 --> 00:14:40,684
Yeah, well, we beat the dog
shit out of those other kids.
347
00:14:40,717 --> 00:14:42,218
(laughter)
348
00:14:42,252 --> 00:14:43,486
Well, you guys aren't
missing anything.
349
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,422
It is a nightmare down there.
350
00:14:45,455 --> 00:14:47,290
- Huh. Yeah. (chuckles)
- Well, no argument there.
351
00:14:47,323 --> 00:14:49,359
- Yeah. You can say that again.
- Mm-hmm.
352
00:14:49,392 --> 00:14:51,594
- Mike Staadt.
- Hey.
353
00:14:51,628 --> 00:14:53,630
- We call him Big Mike.
- Yeah.
354
00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:55,432
People call me Big Mike
for some reason.
355
00:14:55,465 --> 00:14:57,267
Well, it's, uh, because...
to tell us apart.
356
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,402
Because I'm... my name's Mike,
too, but I'm Little Mike.
357
00:14:59,436 --> 00:15:00,704
Hey. How are you? Gary.
358
00:15:00,737 --> 00:15:02,772
- Nice to meet you.
- Gary, Gary.
359
00:15:02,806 --> 00:15:05,375
Gary from D.C.
D.C. Gary.
360
00:15:05,408 --> 00:15:07,343
BIG MIKE: He likes to give
everybody nicknames, so that's
361
00:15:07,377 --> 00:15:09,245
why he's-he's giving you
a nickname right now, which...
362
00:15:09,279 --> 00:15:10,847
- (chuckles)
- It shows friendship and affection.
363
00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,316
- Okay, yeah, but he doesn't...
- If you don't like yours,
364
00:15:13,349 --> 00:15:14,651
- I'll take it away.
- No, I'm fine with my nickname.
365
00:15:14,684 --> 00:15:15,585
Well, I appreciate it,
Little Mike.
366
00:15:15,618 --> 00:15:17,454
LITTLE MIKE:
Okay, thank you, D.C. Gary.
367
00:15:17,487 --> 00:15:18,855
Hey, this is our new friend,
D.C. Gary.
368
00:15:18,888 --> 00:15:20,657
- Hey. How are you?
- BARTENDER: Hey.
369
00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:23,026
- Dave.
- My name is Gary, and I'm from D.C., so...
370
00:15:23,059 --> 00:15:24,027
- that works.
- Well, welcome to Deerlaken.
371
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:27,030
- Thank you.
- Ever been to Wisconsin before?
372
00:15:27,063 --> 00:15:28,765
Uh, spent a fair amount of time
in Madison.
373
00:15:28,798 --> 00:15:30,467
- So that's a no.
- (laughter)
374
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:31,835
- (chuckles)
- That's not Wisconsin.
375
00:15:31,868 --> 00:15:34,504
Actually, I'm here to see
Jack Hastings. You know him?
376
00:15:34,537 --> 00:15:36,606
- Oh, yeah. He's a great guy.
- Yeah, everybody knows Jack.
377
00:15:36,639 --> 00:15:37,807
- The Colonel. Great guy.
- Semper fi.
378
00:15:37,841 --> 00:15:39,476
- Yeah.
- DAVE: YouTube star.
379
00:15:39,509 --> 00:15:42,278
We've got some rooms upstairs,
if you need.
380
00:15:42,312 --> 00:15:44,447
- Sure. That sounds good.
- Tonya?
381
00:15:44,481 --> 00:15:45,615
Yeah, baby.
382
00:15:45,648 --> 00:15:47,350
This gentleman here
would like a room.
383
00:15:47,383 --> 00:15:49,552
Oh, sure.
What do you need, hon?
384
00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:52,322
Uh, anything.
Any room is fine.
385
00:15:52,355 --> 00:15:53,590
Okay.
386
00:15:53,623 --> 00:15:56,059
If you have something
on a high floor
387
00:15:56,092 --> 00:15:57,761
with a king bed
and a coffee maker...
388
00:15:57,794 --> 00:15:59,696
Okay. Yeah, we... everything's
on the second floor.
389
00:15:59,729 --> 00:16:01,431
- Perfect.
- They're all pretty much the same.
390
00:16:01,464 --> 00:16:03,500
- That's perfect. I'm easy.
- (Tonya chuckles)
391
00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:05,668
- GARY: Anything's good.
- Take 206. It's the biggest.
392
00:16:05,702 --> 00:16:06,870
- They're all unlocked.
- Okay.
393
00:16:06,903 --> 00:16:08,872
Thank you so much, Tonya.
394
00:16:10,673 --> 00:16:12,542
- LITTLE MIKE: Hey, so, D.C. Gary.
- Yeah.
395
00:16:12,575 --> 00:16:14,077
You ever been
to the White House?
396
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:15,745
- I have.
- BIG MIKE: What's that like?
397
00:16:15,779 --> 00:16:17,814
What's that like? It's a lot
smaller than you think.
398
00:16:17,847 --> 00:16:19,516
- Thanks.
- What? - Really? -Yeah.
399
00:16:19,549 --> 00:16:21,384
BIG MIKE: Yeah, 'cause we
didn't... I don't think we got
400
00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,519
by there on that student trip.
401
00:16:22,552 --> 00:16:24,320
Must not have been built
at that point.
402
00:16:24,354 --> 00:16:25,789
Oh, that looks delicious.
Thank you so much.
403
00:16:25,822 --> 00:16:27,023
Do you have a bottle opener?
404
00:16:27,056 --> 00:16:29,492
- That's a... no, that's just a twist.
- Bud, you just twist.
405
00:16:29,526 --> 00:16:30,860
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's a twist-off.
406
00:16:30,894 --> 00:16:32,362
I know. I know.
407
00:16:32,395 --> 00:16:33,663
Maybe he does need
a bottle opener.
408
00:16:33,696 --> 00:16:35,398
- Maybe use your-your vest.
- He's probably...
409
00:16:35,431 --> 00:16:36,933
- Maybe a European grip.
- Ah, I got it. - (cap pops)
410
00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:38,535
- There we go.
- There we go. - (cap clatters)
411
00:16:38,568 --> 00:16:39,636
Cheers.
412
00:16:39,669 --> 00:16:41,104
- Hey.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
413
00:16:41,137 --> 00:16:42,772
- Cheers.
- Here's to you. - Cheers.
414
00:16:42,806 --> 00:16:44,674
Budweiser.
415
00:16:44,707 --> 00:16:47,710
Mmm. Mmm.
416
00:16:47,744 --> 00:16:49,813
(sniffs) Mm-hmm.
417
00:16:52,782 --> 00:16:55,385
You got to be kidding me.
418
00:17:01,424 --> 00:17:03,426
(sighs):
Okay.
419
00:17:03,459 --> 00:17:05,461
(clears throat, grunts)
420
00:17:05,495 --> 00:17:06,930
All right.
421
00:17:06,963 --> 00:17:08,631
(straining):
All right.
422
00:17:08,665 --> 00:17:10,466
It's fine, it's fine.
423
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,435
It's fine!
424
00:17:12,468 --> 00:17:13,937
- All right.
- (door rattling)
425
00:17:13,970 --> 00:17:16,840
And it's fucking locked.
426
00:17:16,873 --> 00:17:18,474
Goddamn it.
427
00:17:18,508 --> 00:17:20,610
Oh, shit.
428
00:17:20,643 --> 00:17:23,680
Ah, fuck this.
429
00:17:23,713 --> 00:17:26,583
(sighing):
Oh, Deerlaken.
430
00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:28,484
Love it.
431
00:17:31,421 --> 00:17:33,489
(bed creaks)
432
00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:39,429
(sighs):
Okay.
433
00:17:39,462 --> 00:17:41,564
DAVE (over phone):
Everything all right?
434
00:17:41,598 --> 00:17:43,867
Uh, hel... Yes? Hello?
435
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:45,635
- It's Dave.
- Yes?
436
00:17:45,668 --> 00:17:46,903
From the Hofbrau House.
437
00:17:46,936 --> 00:17:49,472
- From downstairs?
- Yes.
438
00:17:49,505 --> 00:17:51,407
- O-Okay.
- Everything all right?
439
00:17:51,441 --> 00:17:54,844
Mm... yeah, I was just looking
for a Wi-Fi password.
440
00:17:54,878 --> 00:17:56,613
Good luck.
441
00:17:56,646 --> 00:17:58,414
Case-sensitive?
442
00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:00,583
No, good luck getting Wi-Fi.
443
00:18:00,617 --> 00:18:02,518
You're better off
using your phone.
444
00:18:02,552 --> 00:18:04,554
- Okay.
- Okay.
445
00:18:04,587 --> 00:18:05,822
All right, very good.
446
00:18:05,855 --> 00:18:07,991
- Thank you.
- Sure.
447
00:18:08,024 --> 00:18:10,793
- Goodbye.
- Night, Gar.
448
00:18:12,829 --> 00:18:14,530
(hangs up phone)
449
00:18:18,235 --> 00:18:20,403
(sighs)
450
00:18:30,247 --> 00:18:31,714
DAVE:
Everything all right?
451
00:18:34,617 --> 00:18:36,753
(chuckles quietly)
452
00:18:36,786 --> 00:18:38,821
♪ ♪
453
00:18:47,530 --> 00:18:49,032
MAN:
Hey, D.C. Gary!
454
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,936
Hey, Gary.
455
00:18:52,969 --> 00:18:54,504
Hey.
456
00:18:55,538 --> 00:18:56,773
Good morning, Gary.
457
00:18:56,806 --> 00:18:58,708
Hey.
458
00:18:58,741 --> 00:19:00,710
Okay.
459
00:19:03,780 --> 00:19:05,848
- (gasps) Excuse me, Gary.
- Hi, Gary.
460
00:19:05,882 --> 00:19:08,518
(panting):
All right.
461
00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:12,822
ANN:
Well, hello, Gary.
462
00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:15,992
The Mikes told me
that you're up from D.C.,
463
00:19:16,025 --> 00:19:17,860
and I figured that
you might be on the hunt
464
00:19:17,894 --> 00:19:19,629
for some good caffeine.
(chuckles)
465
00:19:19,662 --> 00:19:21,965
Yes. Um... sure.
466
00:19:21,998 --> 00:19:23,566
May I have a...
467
00:19:23,599 --> 00:19:25,702
- Coffee?
- A coffee.
468
00:19:25,735 --> 00:19:26,836
Cream, two sugars.
469
00:19:26,869 --> 00:19:29,072
Not how I like it, but good.
470
00:19:29,105 --> 00:19:30,173
And i-if you don't mind, um,
471
00:19:30,207 --> 00:19:32,575
when you head up to Jack's,
can you give him this?
472
00:19:32,608 --> 00:19:33,876
Jack, uh, he gets
a little cranky
473
00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:35,279
if he doesn't get his linzers.
474
00:19:35,312 --> 00:19:37,613
(laughs)
Oh, and I-I, uh...
475
00:19:37,647 --> 00:19:40,284
I put a little streusel
in there for you, too.
476
00:19:40,317 --> 00:19:42,552
Just made it. Still warm.
477
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,989
Mmm. Okay.
478
00:19:46,022 --> 00:19:47,991
Ah, no, no, no, no, no.
479
00:19:48,024 --> 00:19:49,726
You're saving me a trip, so...
480
00:19:51,728 --> 00:19:53,730
- (laughing): Okay.
- (Ann laughs)
481
00:19:53,763 --> 00:19:55,798
Um, okay.
482
00:19:55,832 --> 00:19:57,533
(chuckles) Okay.
483
00:19:59,035 --> 00:20:00,837
Bye, Gary.
484
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:02,872
(laughing):
Okay. Bye.
485
00:20:02,905 --> 00:20:04,640
ANN:
Have a good one.
486
00:20:04,674 --> 00:20:07,577
GARY (laughing):
Thank you. You have a good one.
487
00:20:07,610 --> 00:20:09,812
Hey, guys.
Have a good one.
488
00:20:09,846 --> 00:20:12,682
- Hey, lady. Have a good one.
- (woman chuckles)
489
00:20:12,715 --> 00:20:15,151
All right.
Is everybody having a good one?
490
00:20:15,184 --> 00:20:17,754
What the fuck?
491
00:20:17,787 --> 00:20:19,789
♪ ♪
492
00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:24,495
(bag rustling)
493
00:20:28,664 --> 00:20:30,633
Oh, my God.
494
00:20:30,666 --> 00:20:32,635
Oh, fuck!
495
00:20:41,378 --> 00:20:42,845
Oh!
496
00:20:42,879 --> 00:20:44,147
Fuck me!
497
00:20:44,180 --> 00:20:45,915
Oh, God.
498
00:20:45,948 --> 00:20:48,584
(grunts, moans)
499
00:20:50,953 --> 00:20:53,022
Mmm, mmm.
500
00:20:53,056 --> 00:20:54,624
Mmm.
501
00:21:04,634 --> 00:21:06,169
(grunts)
502
00:21:06,203 --> 00:21:07,870
Mmm.
503
00:21:07,904 --> 00:21:09,772
(grunts)
504
00:21:13,009 --> 00:21:15,745
(vehicle door opens, closes)
505
00:21:15,778 --> 00:21:17,113
(horn beeps)
506
00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:26,956
- (dogs barking)
- Shit! God! God!
507
00:21:26,989 --> 00:21:29,725
(grunting)
508
00:21:30,993 --> 00:21:33,863
JACK:
Sunny! Muffin! Stand down!
509
00:21:33,896 --> 00:21:36,099
Oh, hey.
510
00:21:36,132 --> 00:21:39,035
You Ann's new delivery guy?
511
00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:40,803
(panting):
I'm sorry.
512
00:21:40,837 --> 00:21:42,839
Uh, I'll go back and get you
some more of those.
513
00:21:42,872 --> 00:21:44,707
Oh, it's fine.
I'll probably end up
514
00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:46,676
giving them
most of them anyway.
515
00:21:46,709 --> 00:21:48,811
(chuckling)
516
00:21:48,845 --> 00:21:50,980
Um... okay.
517
00:21:51,013 --> 00:21:52,181
Okay. (sighs)
518
00:21:52,216 --> 00:21:54,617
That's an angry labradoodle.
519
00:21:55,452 --> 00:21:58,788
Oh, really beautiful out here.
520
00:21:58,821 --> 00:22:00,890
Really takes me back.
521
00:22:00,923 --> 00:22:02,825
Oh, you a farm boy?
522
00:22:02,859 --> 00:22:04,827
Uh, uh, no.
523
00:22:04,861 --> 00:22:06,996
Political consultant.
524
00:22:07,029 --> 00:22:08,432
- (hollers)
- (mooing)
525
00:22:08,465 --> 00:22:10,933
Well, sir, I saw your video
on the Internet...
526
00:22:10,967 --> 00:22:12,702
the town hall you busted up.
527
00:22:12,735 --> 00:22:14,737
- (hollers)
- Um...
528
00:22:14,770 --> 00:22:16,139
your comments
on the responsibility
529
00:22:16,172 --> 00:22:18,208
to the least of us
moved me deeply.
530
00:22:18,242 --> 00:22:20,877
- Grab a bucket.
- And I'll grab a bucket.
531
00:22:20,910 --> 00:22:22,879
And here they come. Okay.
532
00:22:22,912 --> 00:22:24,747
- I think, increasingly...
- (hollers)
533
00:22:24,780 --> 00:22:27,884
...we have lost the capacity
to see each other.
534
00:22:27,917 --> 00:22:31,787
Empathy for those
that we don't resemble.
535
00:22:31,821 --> 00:22:33,223
Not to say partisanship
has no place,
536
00:22:33,257 --> 00:22:36,025
but certainly not at the level
of toxicity
537
00:22:36,058 --> 00:22:38,262
that our current debate
incorporates.
538
00:22:40,096 --> 00:22:43,766
"No man left behind"
is your ethos as a Marine!
539
00:22:43,799 --> 00:22:46,869
I think it's especially
poignant this day and age!
540
00:22:46,903 --> 00:22:49,239
Your words spoke to values,
not identity.
541
00:22:49,273 --> 00:22:51,107
So important.
542
00:22:59,749 --> 00:23:01,751
(squishing)
543
00:23:02,919 --> 00:23:05,021
(groans)
544
00:23:05,054 --> 00:23:08,225
(grunts, exhales heavily)
545
00:23:09,293 --> 00:23:11,027
(groans)
546
00:23:11,060 --> 00:23:12,895
It was Abraham Lincoln
who said,
547
00:23:12,929 --> 00:23:14,830
"An appeal to
our better angels."
548
00:23:14,864 --> 00:23:16,866
(toilet flushes)
549
00:23:23,139 --> 00:23:25,074
You came out of there
pretty fast.
550
00:23:25,107 --> 00:23:26,876
Did you wash?
551
00:23:35,552 --> 00:23:38,255
(Gary takes deep breath)
552
00:23:41,824 --> 00:23:43,025
Okay.
553
00:23:43,059 --> 00:23:45,529
Here it is.
554
00:23:45,562 --> 00:23:48,164
I want you to be
the Democratic candidate
555
00:23:48,197 --> 00:23:50,166
for mayor of Deerlaken.
556
00:23:52,068 --> 00:23:54,338
Now, I know you probably don't
think that you're a Democrat,
557
00:23:54,371 --> 00:23:57,307
but after watching your speech,
I can assure you that you are,
558
00:23:57,341 --> 00:23:59,976
and I would like to offer
my company's services
559
00:24:00,009 --> 00:24:01,744
to help you do so.
560
00:24:08,818 --> 00:24:11,355
Well, I thank you.
561
00:24:11,388 --> 00:24:13,055
You're welcome.
562
00:24:13,089 --> 00:24:15,024
You know,
thanks for the help today.
563
00:24:15,057 --> 00:24:16,826
My pleasure.
564
00:24:16,859 --> 00:24:20,129
But all things being equal,
565
00:24:20,162 --> 00:24:22,164
I'd rather not.
566
00:24:25,402 --> 00:24:27,970
All right.
567
00:24:28,004 --> 00:24:30,806
Can I be completely honest
with you?
568
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,074
No bullshit.
569
00:24:32,108 --> 00:24:33,310
Be nice.
570
00:24:33,343 --> 00:24:35,111
My daughter's here.
571
00:24:35,144 --> 00:24:38,282
That was your daughter,
with her-her arm up the c-cow?
572
00:24:38,315 --> 00:24:40,149
Okay. Look...
573
00:24:40,182 --> 00:24:41,817
(Gary sighs)
574
00:24:41,851 --> 00:24:44,887
- Democrats are getting their asses kicked.
- Mm.
575
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:49,259
Because guys like me don't know
how to talk to guys like you.
576
00:24:49,293 --> 00:24:52,161
I really believe that
you believe what I believe...
577
00:24:52,194 --> 00:24:55,232
that what is happening
in this town is wrong.
578
00:24:55,265 --> 00:24:58,000
What is happening
in this country is wrong.
579
00:24:58,034 --> 00:24:59,969
People are turning their backs
on each other.
580
00:25:00,002 --> 00:25:02,104
We are forgetting
that we need each other.
581
00:25:02,138 --> 00:25:04,040
What you said in your speech...
582
00:25:04,073 --> 00:25:05,841
strong as our weakest link.
583
00:25:05,875 --> 00:25:07,143
Do you mean that?
584
00:25:07,176 --> 00:25:08,978
Did you mean it
when you said that?
585
00:25:09,011 --> 00:25:12,148
Because if you did, I think
that you have an obligation
586
00:25:12,181 --> 00:25:14,318
to try to strengthen
those weak links.
587
00:25:14,351 --> 00:25:17,321
And you can do it.
You can do it.
588
00:25:17,354 --> 00:25:19,456
You can do it
in this sort of position.
589
00:25:19,489 --> 00:25:23,226
You can help strengthen
those... those weak links.
590
00:25:25,462 --> 00:25:27,830
You can achieve that.
591
00:25:31,033 --> 00:25:33,203
- Okay...
- (taps desk)
592
00:25:33,236 --> 00:25:34,471
All right.
593
00:25:34,504 --> 00:25:36,172
You know what?
594
00:25:37,307 --> 00:25:39,108
(sighs)
595
00:25:39,141 --> 00:25:42,646
All due respect, Colonel,
anybody can make a speech.
596
00:25:42,679 --> 00:25:44,648
The real test is
backing up your words.
597
00:25:44,681 --> 00:25:47,083
The things that you said
to those folks in that meeting,
598
00:25:47,116 --> 00:25:50,253
was that principle,
599
00:25:50,287 --> 00:25:52,289
or was that just a hobby?
600
00:25:54,291 --> 00:25:56,025
Let me know.
601
00:25:56,058 --> 00:25:58,928
Why does he need three guns?
602
00:25:58,961 --> 00:26:00,963
(door opens)
603
00:26:00,996 --> 00:26:02,332
(door closes)
604
00:26:05,335 --> 00:26:07,371
♪ ♪
605
00:26:21,385 --> 00:26:23,286
(rooster crows in distance)
606
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,288
(gasps, groans)
607
00:26:25,322 --> 00:26:27,257
- (groaning): Oh, God.
- (laughs)
608
00:26:27,290 --> 00:26:30,260
- Shit.
- I'm sorry if I startled you, sunshine.
609
00:26:30,293 --> 00:26:31,528
(groans)
610
00:26:31,561 --> 00:26:33,463
Don't you people
believe in locks?
611
00:26:33,497 --> 00:26:37,234
Or privacy
or basic social contracts?
612
00:26:37,267 --> 00:26:39,101
Yeah, Tonya let me in.
613
00:26:39,135 --> 00:26:41,304
I told her I had
something important
614
00:26:41,338 --> 00:26:44,006
I needed to talk to you about.
615
00:26:46,008 --> 00:26:47,411
You'll do it?
616
00:26:47,444 --> 00:26:49,145
Under one condition.
617
00:26:49,178 --> 00:26:50,913
Great. Name it.
618
00:26:52,749 --> 00:26:54,551
You run the damn thing.
619
00:26:54,584 --> 00:26:56,253
I got the farm to worry about.
620
00:26:56,286 --> 00:26:58,120
Don't have any idea
how to even start.
621
00:26:58,154 --> 00:27:01,023
I will have one of my top guys
make himself available to you.
622
00:27:01,056 --> 00:27:02,359
No, no, that's not gonna do it.
623
00:27:02,392 --> 00:27:04,728
You.
624
00:27:04,761 --> 00:27:08,063
The deal is you run it
from here.
625
00:27:08,097 --> 00:27:09,965
I checked you out.
626
00:27:09,999 --> 00:27:12,202
You got one hell
of a portfolio.
627
00:27:14,337 --> 00:27:17,207
So, deal?
628
00:27:22,077 --> 00:27:24,046
GARY: I'd like
a big clump of the cows
629
00:27:24,079 --> 00:27:26,081
right here in the center.
630
00:27:27,451 --> 00:27:29,419
- Do you copy me?
- Yes, sir!
631
00:27:29,453 --> 00:27:32,255
Okay. If you can just
move 'em over that way.
632
00:27:32,289 --> 00:27:34,089
- Yep!
- Okay!
633
00:27:34,123 --> 00:27:36,393
And if you could get
some of them to face front.
634
00:27:36,426 --> 00:27:38,060
(under breath):
Oh, my God.
635
00:27:38,093 --> 00:27:40,263
Hey there, Colonel.
636
00:27:40,297 --> 00:27:42,198
Gary.
637
00:27:42,232 --> 00:27:45,302
Bobby, thanks a million
for coming out here.
638
00:27:45,335 --> 00:27:46,603
I'll be certain to vote
for you.
639
00:27:46,636 --> 00:27:48,472
Thank y'all, folks, for coming.
640
00:27:48,505 --> 00:27:50,474
So, this is just
a quick kickoff.
641
00:27:50,507 --> 00:27:53,343
Let's make you look
a little more like Farmer Jack
642
00:27:53,376 --> 00:27:57,414
and less like Certified
Public Accountant Jack.
643
00:27:57,447 --> 00:27:59,583
- There you go.
- Uh, okay.
644
00:27:59,616 --> 00:28:01,218
Oh...
645
00:28:01,251 --> 00:28:02,319
- Oh, no, no. That's okay.
- JACK: Quit it.
646
00:28:02,352 --> 00:28:03,353
- That's okay. Donny, right?
- Quit it.
647
00:28:03,386 --> 00:28:04,521
Michael.
648
00:28:04,554 --> 00:28:07,224
Michael, we can just
boom him, okay?
649
00:28:07,257 --> 00:28:08,492
The pole with the thing
on the end.
650
00:28:08,525 --> 00:28:09,793
Do you do sound, Michael?
651
00:28:09,826 --> 00:28:11,294
- Chuck does sound.
- Okay.
652
00:28:11,328 --> 00:28:12,796
But he's at the lake
with his family.
653
00:28:12,829 --> 00:28:14,029
Okay, well, that's too bad
that he's not...
654
00:28:14,063 --> 00:28:16,065
- Eh, that's okay. That's okay. We'll just go without.
- No.
655
00:28:16,098 --> 00:28:17,634
- Thank you, Donny.
- Thank you, son. Thank you.
656
00:28:17,667 --> 00:28:19,168
Okay.
657
00:28:19,202 --> 00:28:20,370
Let's give it a try.
658
00:28:20,403 --> 00:28:21,638
There you are.
659
00:28:21,671 --> 00:28:23,507
Uh, this is...
660
00:28:23,540 --> 00:28:25,342
Why you are running for mayor.
661
00:28:26,376 --> 00:28:27,477
Wow.
662
00:28:27,511 --> 00:28:29,513
I quote Patton...
663
00:28:29,546 --> 00:28:31,080
and Jesus.
664
00:28:31,113 --> 00:28:32,382
Paraphrase.
665
00:28:32,415 --> 00:28:34,484
And you can't go to the prom
without a corsage.
666
00:28:34,518 --> 00:28:36,453
(cows mooing)
667
00:28:36,486 --> 00:28:38,421
Let's make magic.
668
00:28:38,455 --> 00:28:41,258
All right.
Thank you for coming.
669
00:28:41,291 --> 00:28:43,260
Could we quiet the cows,
please?!
670
00:28:43,293 --> 00:28:45,160
Thank you!
671
00:28:45,194 --> 00:28:48,130
Ladies and gentlemen,
Colonel Jack Hastings.
672
00:28:52,302 --> 00:28:54,204
So, uh,
673
00:28:54,237 --> 00:28:57,541
I am Colonel Jack Hastings,
and...
674
00:28:57,574 --> 00:29:00,443
I'm running for mayor.
675
00:29:04,714 --> 00:29:07,350
So, uh...
676
00:29:07,384 --> 00:29:10,220
How we doing?
677
00:29:10,253 --> 00:29:12,589
All right.
Beautifully put.
678
00:29:14,123 --> 00:29:15,592
Are there any questions
for the Colonel?
679
00:29:15,625 --> 00:29:17,260
Anyone?
680
00:29:18,895 --> 00:29:20,664
Bueller?
681
00:29:20,697 --> 00:29:22,465
Uh, yes, Colonel.
682
00:29:22,499 --> 00:29:24,234
Yes, name and affiliation,
please.
683
00:29:24,267 --> 00:29:26,603
- It's Dan.
- Name and affiliation, please.
684
00:29:26,636 --> 00:29:28,505
I'm Dan.
685
00:29:28,538 --> 00:29:30,206
Go ahead, Daniel.
686
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,474
Easy on the cows!
687
00:29:31,508 --> 00:29:33,610
Um, yes, Mr. Hastings,
uh, Colonel,
688
00:29:33,643 --> 00:29:35,211
could you say that again?
689
00:29:35,245 --> 00:29:37,380
Because I-I don't think
my recorder was on.
690
00:29:39,316 --> 00:29:41,183
Mm. Do it again?
691
00:29:41,217 --> 00:29:42,552
GARY:
Hey, you know what?
692
00:29:42,586 --> 00:29:43,720
It's okay.
693
00:29:43,753 --> 00:29:45,187
- GARY: Now...
- We'll get it.
694
00:29:45,221 --> 00:29:47,290
GARY:
Okay, this one...
695
00:29:47,324 --> 00:29:49,426
What I'm looking for...
696
00:29:49,459 --> 00:29:52,329
don't put all the black ones
in the center.
697
00:29:52,362 --> 00:29:55,231
He's running as a moderate,
okay?
698
00:29:55,265 --> 00:29:57,400
And if you could get some
facing this way,
699
00:29:57,434 --> 00:29:58,902
that would be helpful.
700
00:29:58,935 --> 00:30:00,704
More local news tonight
out of Deerlaken.
701
00:30:00,737 --> 00:30:02,372
Former Marine Colonel
Jack Hastings
702
00:30:02,405 --> 00:30:04,507
announcing today
that he's running for mayor
703
00:30:04,541 --> 00:30:06,209
as a Democrat.
704
00:30:06,242 --> 00:30:08,211
While Braun may have
an incumbent's advantage,
705
00:30:08,244 --> 00:30:09,446
political insiders say Hastings
706
00:30:09,479 --> 00:30:11,481
is likely to give him
a run for his money.
707
00:30:11,514 --> 00:30:12,916
Happening now, a major...
708
00:30:12,949 --> 00:30:15,585
JACK: Well, how much
is this gonna cost?
709
00:30:15,619 --> 00:30:17,921
GARY:
You let me worry about that.
710
00:30:17,954 --> 00:30:20,189
What I need from you
are people, volunteers.
711
00:30:20,223 --> 00:30:21,491
We got a lot of legwork
712
00:30:21,524 --> 00:30:23,660
if we're gonna make a noise
in this thing.
713
00:30:23,693 --> 00:30:25,495
- More coffee?
- Oh, I'm good.
714
00:30:25,528 --> 00:30:27,297
No, I'm good, Lizzie.
Thanks.
715
00:30:27,330 --> 00:30:28,732
You know what I do need?
716
00:30:28,765 --> 00:30:31,601
I need a couple buckets
of that gravy
717
00:30:31,635 --> 00:30:34,204
so I can take a bath in it.
718
00:30:35,271 --> 00:30:37,374
So good.
719
00:30:37,407 --> 00:30:38,441
Delicious.
720
00:30:38,475 --> 00:30:39,776
(takes deep breath)
721
00:30:39,809 --> 00:30:42,312
My compliments to the chef.
722
00:30:42,345 --> 00:30:43,380
I'll let Ziggy know.
723
00:30:43,413 --> 00:30:44,514
Great.
724
00:30:44,547 --> 00:30:45,715
That ought to cheer him up.
725
00:30:45,749 --> 00:30:48,351
JACK:
Just the check, Lizzie.
726
00:30:48,385 --> 00:30:50,320
Will do, Jack.
727
00:30:50,353 --> 00:30:53,256
GARY: What's the deal
with the happy chef?
728
00:30:53,289 --> 00:30:55,225
JACK:
Oh, Ziggy's all right.
729
00:30:55,258 --> 00:30:57,227
- Oh?
- He owns the place.
730
00:30:57,260 --> 00:30:59,562
Eh, he may be a bit peeved
about the election thing.
731
00:30:59,596 --> 00:31:02,399
He's Mayor Braun's brother.
732
00:31:02,432 --> 00:31:05,468
Why isn't this place
called Braun's?
733
00:31:05,502 --> 00:31:10,540
The Hansens owned this place
since probably... Korea.
734
00:31:10,573 --> 00:31:13,410
Bobby Hansen started it,
his kids ran it for years,
735
00:31:13,443 --> 00:31:16,446
and had to sell
once the base closed,
736
00:31:16,479 --> 00:31:20,417
but no matter who owns it,
it'll always be Hansen's.
737
00:31:20,450 --> 00:31:23,353
Base closing
really hammered this place.
738
00:31:23,386 --> 00:31:25,221
Yeah, it did.
739
00:31:25,255 --> 00:31:28,224
More than half of
our storefronts have shut down.
740
00:31:28,258 --> 00:31:29,726
In fact, we're losing
our high school
741
00:31:29,759 --> 00:31:31,995
if we can't come up
with the funding.
742
00:31:32,028 --> 00:31:36,499
But no matter what folks
might wish for here,
743
00:31:36,533 --> 00:31:38,401
it ain't coming back.
744
00:31:38,435 --> 00:31:40,503
"Vote for Jack Hastings,
745
00:31:40,537 --> 00:31:42,305
"'cause no matter
what you wish for,
746
00:31:42,338 --> 00:31:44,641
- it ain't never coming back."
- (chuckling)
747
00:31:44,674 --> 00:31:46,409
- I like it. It's good.
- Well...
748
00:31:46,443 --> 00:31:48,645
- I'm not gonna lie to people.
- No, I know. I know.
749
00:31:48,678 --> 00:31:51,581
I was just being witty
and cynical.
750
00:31:51,614 --> 00:31:54,284
Can't win a battle
if you're not honest
751
00:31:54,317 --> 00:31:56,586
about what you're
really up against.
752
00:31:56,619 --> 00:31:58,288
No, you cannot.
753
00:31:58,321 --> 00:31:59,689
(footsteps approaching)
754
00:31:59,723 --> 00:32:02,025
LIZZIE:
Not enough for a bath,
755
00:32:02,058 --> 00:32:04,360
but you can get
a good foot soak in.
756
00:32:05,862 --> 00:32:07,030
GARY:
Thank you.
757
00:32:07,063 --> 00:32:09,733
- A straw.
- (chuckling)
758
00:32:11,735 --> 00:32:13,336
- (claps)
- GARY: All right, let's bring it in.
759
00:32:13,369 --> 00:32:14,804
Everybody in. Ah...
760
00:32:14,838 --> 00:32:16,740
- phone bank!
- OTHERS: Phone bank.
761
00:32:16,773 --> 00:32:18,441
Well, you'll get it next time.
762
00:32:18,475 --> 00:32:20,276
Okay, I want you to be upbeat.
763
00:32:20,310 --> 00:32:21,711
I want you to be positive.
764
00:32:21,745 --> 00:32:24,347
Active participation
is what we're looking for.
765
00:32:24,380 --> 00:32:26,316
Would they volunteer?
Would they donate?
766
00:32:26,349 --> 00:32:27,884
Can we drop off a lawn sign?
767
00:32:27,917 --> 00:32:29,819
- Would they donate?
- (laughs)
768
00:32:29,853 --> 00:32:31,654
Would they donate?
769
00:32:31,688 --> 00:32:34,324
Yes, write that down.
That's good.
770
00:32:34,357 --> 00:32:36,426
Got some sample scripts
for you there.
771
00:32:36,459 --> 00:32:38,294
Contact list there.
772
00:32:38,328 --> 00:32:39,662
To the ramparts!
773
00:32:41,531 --> 00:32:43,366
That means go. You can begin.
774
00:32:43,399 --> 00:32:44,801
- Oh.
- Now...
775
00:32:44,834 --> 00:32:46,736
you guys are my "A" team.
776
00:32:46,770 --> 00:32:49,372
So, first, we're going to take
these lawn signs,
777
00:32:49,405 --> 00:32:52,342
and we're going to put them
in all available public spaces.
778
00:32:52,375 --> 00:32:54,377
I want them visible
but not obnoxiously so.
779
00:32:54,410 --> 00:32:57,514
Isn't it a little early
for lawn signs?
780
00:32:59,382 --> 00:33:01,351
DIANA:
I'm sorry. She just, um...
781
00:33:01,384 --> 00:33:02,519
'Cause just around here,
782
00:33:02,552 --> 00:33:04,387
sometimes people
aren't so keen...
783
00:33:04,420 --> 00:33:06,589
- Mm-hmm.
- But then, I do appreciate
784
00:33:06,623 --> 00:33:08,424
that you got the signs made.
785
00:33:08,458 --> 00:33:10,360
- Mm-hmm.
- GARY: I mean, we've always used lawn signs.
786
00:33:10,393 --> 00:33:12,495
- Yeah.
- They've worked for hundreds of years, so...
787
00:33:12,529 --> 00:33:14,097
- Great.
- Yeah, let's just use 'em.
788
00:33:14,130 --> 00:33:16,332
Great. All right, Ann?
789
00:33:16,366 --> 00:33:18,334
- Hmm? Okay.
- I want you to take the downtown area.
790
00:33:18,368 --> 00:33:20,637
Martha, Dave, how about
everything west of 39?
791
00:33:20,670 --> 00:33:22,672
- (phones ringing)
- And, Diana, I'd like you to stay here...
792
00:33:22,705 --> 00:33:24,407
- Hello?
- MAN: Yeah?
793
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:25,775
- ...to do...
- Good morning.
794
00:33:25,809 --> 00:33:27,544
Hi. This is Matthew,
and I'm a volunteer
795
00:33:27,577 --> 00:33:28,745
- calling with Jack...
- WOMAN: Matthew?
796
00:33:28,778 --> 00:33:29,846
- Matt... Matthew...
- Hello?
797
00:33:29,879 --> 00:33:31,681
- Hello?
- (overlapping chatter)
798
00:33:31,714 --> 00:33:33,416
- What are you doing?
- (laughter)
799
00:33:33,449 --> 00:33:35,485
- Zimmer.
- MICHAEL: Good morning, Mr. Zimmer.
800
00:33:35,518 --> 00:33:37,921
My name is Michael, calling
on behalf of Colonel Hastings.
801
00:33:37,954 --> 00:33:40,423
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
802
00:33:40,456 --> 00:33:41,758
All right, this is
what's happening here.
803
00:33:41,791 --> 00:33:43,960
You're calling off
the office contact list.
804
00:33:43,993 --> 00:33:45,662
This is the voter contact list.
805
00:33:45,695 --> 00:33:47,664
- Oh. - (laughter)
- GARY: So, yeah, I know.
806
00:33:47,697 --> 00:33:50,533
I want you to call
the voter contact list.
807
00:33:50,567 --> 00:33:51,935
We're already voting
for the Colonel.
808
00:33:51,968 --> 00:33:53,636
Okay? Good.
809
00:33:53,670 --> 00:33:55,438
Let's go do the signs, too.
810
00:33:55,471 --> 00:33:56,773
- (indistinct chatter)
- GARY: Oh, my God.
811
00:33:56,806 --> 00:33:58,975
Keep doing that, guys.
812
00:33:59,008 --> 00:34:01,344
(gas pump sputtering,
meter dinging steadily)
813
00:34:06,816 --> 00:34:09,452
Gar! Hey, D.C. Gary!
814
00:34:09,485 --> 00:34:12,488
- Hi.
- Hey, Gar, come on over.
815
00:34:12,522 --> 00:34:14,624
Okay. All right.
816
00:34:14,657 --> 00:34:16,459
- Nothing, nothing, nothing.
- (others muttering)
817
00:34:16,492 --> 00:34:17,861
Uh, that's a six.
That is a five.
818
00:34:17,894 --> 00:34:19,395
And a four. Look at that.
819
00:34:19,429 --> 00:34:20,597
- And a seven.
- Oh, my... Oh!
820
00:34:20,630 --> 00:34:22,465
- (bangs table)
- I'm keeping it, baby!
821
00:34:22,498 --> 00:34:24,500
- Ah!
- Hey, everybody.
822
00:34:24,534 --> 00:34:25,935
- Hey.
- This is D.C. Gary.
823
00:34:25,969 --> 00:34:28,471
He's staying above the Hofbrau.
824
00:34:28,504 --> 00:34:29,672
- Hey.
- GARY: Good to see you.
825
00:34:29,706 --> 00:34:30,640
Welcome to
The Ambassador's Lounge.
826
00:34:30,673 --> 00:34:31,908
Thank you very much.
827
00:34:31,941 --> 00:34:33,509
Hear you're in town
helping the Colonel.
828
00:34:33,543 --> 00:34:34,911
- Yes, I am.
- He's a good man.
829
00:34:34,944 --> 00:34:36,713
He is. He is a good man.
830
00:34:36,746 --> 00:34:39,449
So, is this your
campaign office here?
831
00:34:39,482 --> 00:34:41,484
- (laughter)
- This?
832
00:34:41,517 --> 00:34:43,586
No, this is
The Ambassador's Lounge,
833
00:34:43,620 --> 00:34:47,023
an elite, uh, social club of
the area's top entrepreneurs,
834
00:34:47,056 --> 00:34:49,692
- athletes and raconteurs.
- Ah.
835
00:34:49,726 --> 00:34:51,461
- It's a shithole.
- (laughter)
836
00:34:51,494 --> 00:34:52,595
BIG MIKE:
Hey, guys.
837
00:34:52,629 --> 00:34:54,764
Jack's already got lawn signs
printed up. (chuckles)
838
00:34:58,801 --> 00:35:01,037
Well, I got to head out.
839
00:35:01,070 --> 00:35:02,972
Got a lot of work
to catch up on.
840
00:35:03,006 --> 00:35:04,607
Pleasure meeting everybody.
841
00:35:04,641 --> 00:35:06,509
BRAUN: Hey, Father,
you want to go with him?
842
00:35:06,542 --> 00:35:07,777
He might need a miracle or two.
843
00:35:07,810 --> 00:35:09,679
This town hasn't had
a Democrat mayor
844
00:35:09,712 --> 00:35:11,881
since La Follette
ruled these parts, and...
845
00:35:11,915 --> 00:35:14,651
hasn't had a Democratic Party
since the '70s.
846
00:35:14,684 --> 00:35:15,919
- (laughter)
- Gonna take a little bit more
847
00:35:15,952 --> 00:35:17,820
than lawn signs.
848
00:35:18,922 --> 00:35:20,623
Okay.
849
00:35:22,725 --> 00:35:23,993
(bell dings)
850
00:35:28,498 --> 00:35:30,566
NARRATOR:
Colonel Jack Hastings.
851
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,035
Tempered by war.
852
00:35:32,068 --> 00:35:35,038
Chain's only as strong
as its weakest link.
853
00:35:35,071 --> 00:35:37,540
NARRATOR:
Driven by faith.
854
00:35:37,573 --> 00:35:39,609
I am my brother's keeper.
855
00:35:39,642 --> 00:35:41,778
NARRATOR:
A new kind of Democrat.
856
00:35:41,811 --> 00:35:44,580
A Democrat for the heartland.
857
00:35:44,614 --> 00:35:47,984
Jack Hastings,
a redder kind of blue.
858
00:35:48,017 --> 00:35:50,553
ANNOUNCER: Paid for
by Real Americans for...
859
00:35:50,586 --> 00:35:52,956
FAITH:
What are you up to, Zimmer?
860
00:35:52,989 --> 00:35:56,059
I am telling you guys,
Jack could be the real deal,
861
00:35:56,092 --> 00:35:57,694
on a national level.
862
00:35:57,727 --> 00:35:58,928
KURT (chuckles):
On a national level?
863
00:35:58,962 --> 00:36:01,898
It's like he's a cross
between...
864
00:36:01,931 --> 00:36:04,934
- MacArthur and elk jerky.
- Wait, what?
865
00:36:04,968 --> 00:36:07,537
And one of those machines
that test grip strength.
866
00:36:07,570 --> 00:36:09,273
Sounds too good to be true.
867
00:36:09,306 --> 00:36:11,007
GARY:
Oh, my God.
868
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,609
Semicolon. (laughs)
869
00:36:13,643 --> 00:36:15,712
She took the bait.
870
00:36:15,745 --> 00:36:18,481
It's on here, boys.
Game on.
871
00:36:21,084 --> 00:36:22,885
- And let him be the star, you know?
- Yeah.
872
00:36:22,919 --> 00:36:24,587
- (laughter) - Yep.
- So...
873
00:36:24,620 --> 00:36:27,090
GARY: ♪ A little bit
of Hastings all the time ♪
874
00:36:27,123 --> 00:36:29,859
♪ We're gonna win election,
yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪
875
00:36:29,892 --> 00:36:32,296
- Oh, yeah. Oh, here I am.
- (Diana chuckles)
876
00:36:32,329 --> 00:36:34,298
(chuckles):
Yes. Hello, party people.
877
00:36:34,331 --> 00:36:37,133
Oh, 'tis a beautiful day
to be alive
878
00:36:37,166 --> 00:36:38,868
and on the vanguard of change.
879
00:36:38,901 --> 00:36:40,903
Who wants something to eat?
880
00:36:40,937 --> 00:36:42,538
They're so delicious.
881
00:36:45,141 --> 00:36:47,110
Okay.
882
00:36:47,143 --> 00:36:48,711
What's going on?
883
00:36:48,745 --> 00:36:50,680
Why all the long faces?
884
00:36:50,713 --> 00:36:51,881
Did you not see it?
885
00:36:51,914 --> 00:36:54,318
The billboard.
886
00:36:54,351 --> 00:36:57,820
The one on Main with the giant
"Vote for Mayor Braun"?
887
00:36:57,854 --> 00:36:59,122
- Yes.
- What about it?
888
00:36:59,155 --> 00:37:00,890
(scoffs) "What about it?"
889
00:37:00,923 --> 00:37:02,859
That's the
Macgregor Ford billboard.
890
00:37:02,892 --> 00:37:04,560
Okay.
891
00:37:04,594 --> 00:37:05,895
Okay, so it's been
the Macgregor Ford billboard
892
00:37:05,928 --> 00:37:07,030
for probably 40 years.
893
00:37:07,063 --> 00:37:08,265
God only knows
how much it cost.
894
00:37:08,298 --> 00:37:11,067
And it looks like Braun has
taken over Jerry's old office
895
00:37:11,100 --> 00:37:12,769
as some sort of
campaign headquarters.
896
00:37:12,802 --> 00:37:14,904
Wait a second. Wait a second.
Hold on. Hold on.
897
00:37:14,937 --> 00:37:17,341
Um, are you telling me
that the mayor,
898
00:37:17,374 --> 00:37:19,575
who's running for reelection,
899
00:37:19,609 --> 00:37:23,579
has decided to advertise
his campaign for mayor?
900
00:37:23,613 --> 00:37:26,916
And he's doing it from a...
campaign office?
901
00:37:26,949 --> 00:37:29,185
Oh, my God!
Oh, I... This is...
902
00:37:29,219 --> 00:37:31,187
This is overwhelming to me.
903
00:37:31,221 --> 00:37:32,755
(laughing):
Oh, my God.
904
00:37:32,789 --> 00:37:34,057
I don't... I...
905
00:37:34,090 --> 00:37:35,058
What... (stammering)
906
00:37:35,091 --> 00:37:36,826
I have the vapors. I...
907
00:37:36,859 --> 00:37:37,994
I'm hyperventilating.
908
00:37:38,027 --> 00:37:40,029
Why are these spoons
just standing there?
909
00:37:40,063 --> 00:37:41,697
You don't get it.
910
00:37:41,731 --> 00:37:42,899
(laughing)
911
00:37:42,932 --> 00:37:44,734
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- (laughs)
912
00:37:44,767 --> 00:37:46,370
You don't get it.
913
00:37:46,403 --> 00:37:48,604
Do you have any idea
how much that costs?
914
00:37:48,638 --> 00:37:50,173
Well, that space
is 3,800 square feet,
915
00:37:50,207 --> 00:37:52,875
and it runs for
$20 a square foot yearly.
916
00:37:52,909 --> 00:37:56,045
Prorated to two months
is $7,600.
917
00:37:56,079 --> 00:37:59,082
The billboard, a little bit
harder to decipher.
918
00:37:59,115 --> 00:38:01,184
But I'd say,
based on the location
919
00:38:01,218 --> 00:38:04,687
and Mayor Braun's desperation,
8K all-in.
920
00:38:04,720 --> 00:38:06,089
Design and printing included.
921
00:38:06,122 --> 00:38:08,724
I don't know,
maybe something like that.
922
00:38:08,758 --> 00:38:11,094
Well, there's no way that
Braun's got that much money.
923
00:38:11,127 --> 00:38:14,097
Unless... this little
campaign of ours
924
00:38:14,130 --> 00:38:17,700
has caught the attention of
the national Republican Party
925
00:38:17,733 --> 00:38:20,703
and they are sending money
and reinforcements.
926
00:38:20,736 --> 00:38:22,138
- (quiet gasping)
- It's okay.
927
00:38:22,171 --> 00:38:25,141
It's exactly what
we wanted to happen.
928
00:38:26,210 --> 00:38:28,111
They are scared.
929
00:38:28,144 --> 00:38:30,713
On a national level,
930
00:38:30,746 --> 00:38:33,783
they are scared
of Colonel Jack.
931
00:38:35,252 --> 00:38:37,854
So we have to plan
our next move.
932
00:38:37,887 --> 00:38:39,155
Come here.
933
00:38:40,290 --> 00:38:41,924
Gather round.
934
00:38:41,958 --> 00:38:44,093
We're going to need...
935
00:38:44,127 --> 00:38:46,796
something a little like...
936
00:38:46,829 --> 00:38:48,865
- that.
- (others gasping)
937
00:38:50,133 --> 00:38:52,001
- WOMAN (chuckling): Wow.
- (quiet murmuring)
938
00:38:54,103 --> 00:38:55,671
GARY:
And you scroll down.
939
00:38:55,705 --> 00:38:57,241
DIANA:
There's a "donate" button.
940
00:38:57,274 --> 00:39:00,843
Well, the money be
just one clicky away.
941
00:39:00,877 --> 00:39:03,779
And one clicky goes to where?
942
00:39:03,813 --> 00:39:05,014
Our website.
943
00:39:05,047 --> 00:39:07,683
(chuckling):
Oh, we don't have a web...
944
00:39:09,852 --> 00:39:11,020
(chuckling):
Oh, wow.
945
00:39:11,053 --> 00:39:13,689
- MAN: Awesome.
- (laughter, murmuring)
946
00:39:13,723 --> 00:39:15,225
GARY:
Good slogan, right?
947
00:39:15,259 --> 00:39:17,126
You were one step ahead
the whole time.
948
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,729
Well, three or four,
but thank you very much.
949
00:39:19,762 --> 00:39:20,963
I will take that.
950
00:39:20,997 --> 00:39:22,466
Oh, wow.
951
00:39:22,499 --> 00:39:24,734
♪ ♪
952
00:39:38,848 --> 00:39:40,850
(sighs)
953
00:39:48,824 --> 00:39:50,294
Mmm.
954
00:39:52,061 --> 00:39:54,030
Mmm.
955
00:39:54,063 --> 00:39:56,766
Know how I knew you were here?
956
00:39:56,799 --> 00:39:58,768
Your pussy tingled.
957
00:39:59,869 --> 00:40:01,971
Semicolon on the billboard.
958
00:40:02,004 --> 00:40:05,074
Classic Faith Brewster
over-punctuation.
959
00:40:05,107 --> 00:40:07,877
Look, Zim,
y'all punched your ticket
960
00:40:07,910 --> 00:40:11,914
on a changing demographic, and
now whitey don't want you back.
961
00:40:11,948 --> 00:40:15,785
Okay, Jeb, exclamation point.
962
00:40:15,818 --> 00:40:17,820
Why are you here?
963
00:40:17,853 --> 00:40:19,922
Because I enjoy
demoralizing you.
964
00:40:19,956 --> 00:40:22,226
Because crushing the last
piece of hope in your eyes
965
00:40:22,259 --> 00:40:23,826
really gets me off.
966
00:40:23,859 --> 00:40:25,795
(clicks tongue, inhales deeply)
967
00:40:25,828 --> 00:40:28,898
(sighing):
You are a twisted fuck, Faith.
968
00:40:28,931 --> 00:40:31,000
And you don't know Jack.
969
00:40:31,033 --> 00:40:32,969
Please don't tell me that is
970
00:40:33,002 --> 00:40:35,771
the campaign slogan
you came up with.
971
00:40:38,007 --> 00:40:40,109
This guy, Zim,
he's not the last Jedi,
972
00:40:40,142 --> 00:40:42,078
and even if he were,
I'd still crush him
973
00:40:42,111 --> 00:40:43,846
because that's what I do.
974
00:40:43,879 --> 00:40:45,848
You realize, in that analogy,
you're Darth Vader.
975
00:40:45,881 --> 00:40:47,850
- Whatever you say, nerd.
- (chuckles)
976
00:40:47,883 --> 00:40:49,118
- It's good to see you.
- Yeah.
977
00:40:49,151 --> 00:40:51,087
- You look fat.
- (laughs)
978
00:40:54,291 --> 00:40:56,226
FAITH:
Hmm.
979
00:40:56,260 --> 00:40:57,793
Divine, Ann.
980
00:40:57,827 --> 00:41:00,162
- You have to tell me your secret sometime.
- Mm.
981
00:41:03,132 --> 00:41:04,834
I would never tell you.
982
00:41:05,868 --> 00:41:07,870
I'll never tell her.
983
00:41:07,903 --> 00:41:10,006
- Cream, two sugars. (laughs)
- Oh.
984
00:41:10,039 --> 00:41:12,141
- No, that's not how I take it.
- I know, but...
985
00:41:12,174 --> 00:41:13,943
Um, and here-here's
some streusel I made for you,
986
00:41:13,976 --> 00:41:15,579
- and, um, it's still warm.
- No, no, no, no, Ann, I can't.
987
00:41:15,612 --> 00:41:17,146
- And then these are cookies I made for you.
- I can't.
988
00:41:17,179 --> 00:41:18,180
- I'm getting fat. I can't do that.
- They're...
989
00:41:18,215 --> 00:41:19,081
- They're called the Garys, though.
- Thank you.
990
00:41:19,115 --> 00:41:20,883
- I made these...
- I know. I appreciate it.
991
00:41:20,916 --> 00:41:21,685
- Thank you. Okay.
- Yeah. Okay.
992
00:41:21,718 --> 00:41:22,952
- Okay, bye-bye.
- All right, then.
993
00:41:22,985 --> 00:41:23,986
Thank you. All right, then.
994
00:41:24,020 --> 00:41:25,054
- Bye-bye. Have a good day.
- Okay.
995
00:41:25,087 --> 00:41:27,123
- Up all night for nothing.
- (door closes, opens)
996
00:41:27,156 --> 00:41:28,924
- Coming back. There you go.
- All right, just today.
997
00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:30,192
- Okay. (laughs)
- Yeah. Thank you.
998
00:41:30,227 --> 00:41:31,595
Bye-bye, now. Bye-bye.
999
00:41:31,628 --> 00:41:33,062
Bye, Gar.
1000
00:41:33,095 --> 00:41:34,864
(door closes)
1001
00:41:34,897 --> 00:41:36,233
GARY:
Have a good one.
1002
00:41:36,266 --> 00:41:38,335
(sighs)
1003
00:41:49,011 --> 00:41:50,946
(closes drawer)
1004
00:41:53,015 --> 00:41:55,184
- Okay, good night.
- GARY: Oh, hey.
1005
00:41:55,218 --> 00:41:57,186
Good night. I didn't know
anybody else was here.
1006
00:41:57,220 --> 00:41:58,388
I just wanted to make sure
1007
00:41:58,422 --> 00:42:00,257
everything was set
for tomorrow.
1008
00:42:00,290 --> 00:42:02,858
I was just finishing up
these pamphlets on immigration.
1009
00:42:02,892 --> 00:42:04,093
Ooh. (chuckles)
1010
00:42:04,126 --> 00:42:05,462
That sounds complicated.
1011
00:42:05,495 --> 00:42:07,230
I hope the small minds
can manage.
1012
00:42:09,065 --> 00:42:10,634
(sighs)
I'm sorry about that.
1013
00:42:10,667 --> 00:42:13,303
Sometimes,
messaging for the base
1014
00:42:13,337 --> 00:42:16,839
doesn't resonate
with the broader electorate.
1015
00:42:17,674 --> 00:42:20,210
Oh, okay.
1016
00:42:20,243 --> 00:42:24,914
So, to flatter them,
you have to condescend to us.
1017
00:42:26,115 --> 00:42:28,218
I get it.
1018
00:42:28,251 --> 00:42:31,120
Uh, no, no, that wasn't...
1019
00:42:31,153 --> 00:42:33,256
that wasn't what...
1020
00:42:38,228 --> 00:42:40,230
Sorry.
1021
00:42:42,064 --> 00:42:43,500
How's your dad doing?
1022
00:42:43,533 --> 00:42:45,435
Is he okay? Nervous?
1023
00:42:45,469 --> 00:42:47,471
No. (chuckles)
1024
00:42:47,504 --> 00:42:50,273
No? Well, why would he be?
He's been through a war.
1025
00:42:50,307 --> 00:42:52,007
He's not gonna sweat
a fish fry.
1026
00:42:52,041 --> 00:42:54,244
- No, he doesn't really get nervous.
- Mm-mm.
1027
00:42:54,277 --> 00:42:56,178
Just quiet.
1028
00:42:57,214 --> 00:42:59,081
Right.
1029
00:43:03,553 --> 00:43:05,489
Runs in the family.
1030
00:43:05,522 --> 00:43:07,156
(chuckles softly)
1031
00:43:09,426 --> 00:43:13,162
- Maybe.
- Oh. (laughing)
1032
00:43:14,163 --> 00:43:15,499
Yes, my, uh...
1033
00:43:15,532 --> 00:43:19,503
my mom was really
more of the talker.
1034
00:43:19,536 --> 00:43:22,305
She was...
(inhales deeply)
1035
00:43:24,039 --> 00:43:26,443
You ever know anyone
that just lit up a room?
1036
00:43:29,279 --> 00:43:30,480
Mm-hmm.
1037
00:43:30,514 --> 00:43:32,181
Well, she was that.
(laughs)
1038
00:43:32,215 --> 00:43:33,717
Yeah.
1039
00:43:33,750 --> 00:43:35,452
- She sounds great.
- Yeah.
1040
00:43:37,153 --> 00:43:40,122
So, why did your dad
get involved with all this?
1041
00:43:40,156 --> 00:43:43,058
I mean, why speak
at that meeting?
1042
00:43:43,092 --> 00:43:47,330
Why run when it involves
talking and people?
1043
00:43:47,364 --> 00:43:49,165
(Diana chuckles)
1044
00:43:49,198 --> 00:43:52,502
I think he just loves
this town.
1045
00:43:52,536 --> 00:43:56,473
You know, I think he'd do
anything to save it.
1046
00:43:56,506 --> 00:43:58,974
What about you?
1047
00:43:59,008 --> 00:44:01,545
(chuckles)
1048
00:44:01,578 --> 00:44:04,347
Uh, I guess I would do
1049
00:44:04,381 --> 00:44:08,050
just about anything
to save him.
1050
00:44:09,486 --> 00:44:11,254
(chuckles)
1051
00:44:13,022 --> 00:44:15,258
- (polka music playing)
- (lively chatter)
1052
00:44:16,426 --> 00:44:19,296
(food sizzling)
1053
00:44:19,329 --> 00:44:21,264
Okay. You have a good day, now.
1054
00:44:21,298 --> 00:44:23,098
JACK:
I'll just take one.
1055
00:44:25,502 --> 00:44:27,204
Hey. How are you this evening?
1056
00:44:27,237 --> 00:44:29,573
Pamphlet?
Vote for Colonel Jack.
1057
00:44:29,606 --> 00:44:31,775
Colonel Jack pamphlet.
1058
00:44:31,808 --> 00:44:33,477
Vote for Colonel Jack.
1059
00:44:33,510 --> 00:44:35,479
(indistinct chatter)
1060
00:44:35,512 --> 00:44:37,247
How are y'all doing?
1061
00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:38,515
...incredible database.
1062
00:44:38,548 --> 00:44:40,383
- Yeah.
- And all your information is in there.
1063
00:44:40,417 --> 00:44:42,519
(indistinct chatter continues)
1064
00:44:49,559 --> 00:44:51,628
Hey, Gary. Sorry I'm late.
1065
00:44:51,661 --> 00:44:54,129
I was just waiting for these
to get finished.
1066
00:44:54,163 --> 00:44:55,632
Beer Koozies might be
a little more helpful
1067
00:44:55,665 --> 00:44:57,267
than just the pamphlets.
1068
00:44:58,535 --> 00:45:01,103
FAITH: And this is
actually very simple.
1069
00:45:01,136 --> 00:45:03,306
You just type in
your family's name...
1070
00:45:03,340 --> 00:45:05,442
DIANA:
How big is that booth?
1071
00:45:08,411 --> 00:45:09,813
- Faith.
- Gary.
1072
00:45:09,846 --> 00:45:12,382
You seem to be doing
a brisk business.
1073
00:45:12,415 --> 00:45:14,217
"Deerlaken: always."
1074
00:45:14,251 --> 00:45:16,185
So, apparently,
1075
00:45:16,219 --> 00:45:18,321
"Deerlaken über alles"
was copyrighted?
1076
00:45:18,355 --> 00:45:20,223
Well, we were gonna go with
"I'm with him"
1077
00:45:20,257 --> 00:45:22,057
until we remembered
how fucking stupid it sounded.
1078
00:45:22,091 --> 00:45:23,460
No, no, no, no.
I love it.
1079
00:45:23,493 --> 00:45:25,629
I love the whole
town genealogy angle.
1080
00:45:25,662 --> 00:45:27,464
It's got a real bold
1081
00:45:27,497 --> 00:45:29,466
"you ain't from around here"
flavor.
1082
00:45:29,499 --> 00:45:31,434
- (laughs)
- With subtle notes of,
1083
00:45:31,468 --> 00:45:33,270
- uh, xenophobia.
- (laughs)
1084
00:45:33,303 --> 00:45:35,272
Not to mention
the cognitive dissonance
1085
00:45:35,305 --> 00:45:37,574
that your booth is basically
a love letter to immigration.
1086
00:45:37,607 --> 00:45:39,074
That's a great observation.
1087
00:45:39,108 --> 00:45:40,577
So all these people
are hypocrites?
1088
00:45:40,610 --> 00:45:42,479
- I'd run with that.
- All you have is fear.
1089
00:45:42,512 --> 00:45:43,847
- Now we're getting somewhere.
- (giggles)
1090
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,549
20 bucks says
I do better with fear
1091
00:45:45,582 --> 00:45:46,850
than you do with shame.
1092
00:45:46,883 --> 00:45:48,117
- Oh.
- MICHAEL: Okay.
1093
00:45:48,150 --> 00:45:49,386
It's all set, Miss Brewster.
1094
00:45:49,419 --> 00:45:51,288
(gasps)
Thank you, sweetie.
1095
00:45:51,321 --> 00:45:53,557
GARY:
Well, well, well.
1096
00:45:53,590 --> 00:45:55,492
I'm really sorry, Mr. Z.
1097
00:45:55,525 --> 00:45:57,527
I like working
with you guys, but...
1098
00:45:57,561 --> 00:45:59,629
I'm saving up for a car,
and she's paying us.
1099
00:45:59,663 --> 00:46:01,464
(mocking):
"Eh, she's paying us."
1100
00:46:01,498 --> 00:46:05,702
Wow, way to stand up for
what you believe in there...
1101
00:46:05,735 --> 00:46:08,338
- M... Michael.
- It's Michael.
1102
00:46:08,371 --> 00:46:10,273
- Michael. I know his name is Michael.
- His name is Michael.
1103
00:46:10,307 --> 00:46:11,474
- No, you don't.
- I know it.
1104
00:46:11,508 --> 00:46:13,510
- I was pausing for effect, Michael.
- It's okay, Michael.
1105
00:46:13,543 --> 00:46:16,413
- Character is destiny, Michael.
- Oh, don't listen to him.
1106
00:46:16,446 --> 00:46:18,348
- Character is destiny.
- He's a jerk. Oof.
1107
00:46:18,381 --> 00:46:19,649
Good burn.
1108
00:46:19,683 --> 00:46:21,585
Jack has lived here
for 30 years.
1109
00:46:21,618 --> 00:46:23,453
You really think
you can run a campaign
1110
00:46:23,486 --> 00:46:25,455
that paints him
as a carpetbagger?
1111
00:46:25,488 --> 00:46:28,190
Probably not, but I think I can
run one that says you are.
1112
00:46:28,224 --> 00:46:29,593
- MAN: Beer Koozie?
- Oh, my God.
1113
00:46:31,227 --> 00:46:33,463
Oh. Hastings Koozie?
1114
00:46:33,496 --> 00:46:35,465
- Yeah.
- Touché.
1115
00:46:35,498 --> 00:46:36,633
That's right.
That's in our booth.
1116
00:46:36,666 --> 00:46:38,668
- What do you think of that?
- MAN: Yeah, I'll take one.
1117
00:46:38,702 --> 00:46:41,204
What do you think of that
right there?
1118
00:46:41,237 --> 00:46:43,406
- Boom, boom. What do you think of that?
- (gasps)
1119
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,308
- I don't...
- DOT: Oh.
1120
00:46:45,342 --> 00:46:47,377
Sorry. Not you, Dot.
1121
00:46:48,645 --> 00:46:50,614
- DIANA: Hi.
- (sighing): Oh, Dot.
1122
00:46:50,647 --> 00:46:53,249
- (polka music continues)
- (lively chatter)
1123
00:46:55,452 --> 00:46:57,220
(laughing softly)
1124
00:46:57,253 --> 00:46:58,722
Oh. (chuckles)
1125
00:46:58,755 --> 00:47:01,123
♪ ♪
1126
00:47:08,498 --> 00:47:10,500
DIANA:
Oh. (chuckles)
1127
00:47:10,533 --> 00:47:12,502
(sighs, chuckles)
1128
00:47:19,275 --> 00:47:20,744
(chuckling)
1129
00:47:22,612 --> 00:47:24,280
Whoa.
1130
00:47:25,649 --> 00:47:27,651
(Diana laughing)
1131
00:47:40,630 --> 00:47:42,499
GARY:
We're not doing this.
1132
00:47:42,532 --> 00:47:43,667
What?
1133
00:47:43,700 --> 00:47:45,535
GARY:
Ugh.
1134
00:47:45,568 --> 00:47:48,571
- You go through my stuff?
- (papers rustling)
1135
00:47:50,273 --> 00:47:52,208
Why here?
You have your own room.
1136
00:47:52,242 --> 00:47:53,710
I don't want to smoke alone.
1137
00:47:53,743 --> 00:47:55,311
Oh, come on. Are...
1138
00:47:55,345 --> 00:47:56,646
Really?
1139
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,381
(Faith laughs)
1140
00:47:58,415 --> 00:48:01,484
Gary, I'm bored.
1141
00:48:01,518 --> 00:48:03,553
Please, can we just forget it?
1142
00:48:03,586 --> 00:48:04,721
You've made your point.
1143
00:48:04,754 --> 00:48:06,423
There's Democrats
with calloused hands.
1144
00:48:06,456 --> 00:48:09,259
Gonna bode very well
for the midterms, I promise.
1145
00:48:09,292 --> 00:48:10,727
Now, can we just all go back
to Washington
1146
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:13,229
and forget that we ever
made camp in a place
1147
00:48:13,263 --> 00:48:15,699
where the shit you skim
off milk is considered a food?
1148
00:48:15,732 --> 00:48:18,368
They are called cheese curds,
and they are delicious.
1149
00:48:18,401 --> 00:48:19,536
They're disgusting.
1150
00:48:19,569 --> 00:48:21,371
And you can't make poutine
without them.
1151
00:48:21,404 --> 00:48:22,806
- Come on. Please.
- Go.
1152
00:48:22,839 --> 00:48:24,774
You can go.
You don't have to be here.
1153
00:48:24,808 --> 00:48:26,543
I made these people a promise.
1154
00:48:26,576 --> 00:48:27,811
I'm a good person.
1155
00:48:27,844 --> 00:48:29,345
It's your last chance, Zim.
1156
00:48:29,379 --> 00:48:30,814
I'm gonna make
a big deal of this.
1157
00:48:30,847 --> 00:48:33,516
Tons of press, lots of money.
You're gonna lose,
1158
00:48:33,550 --> 00:48:35,518
and then you're gonna look
like a giant asshole.
1159
00:48:35,552 --> 00:48:37,020
Good. That's what I want.
1160
00:48:37,053 --> 00:48:40,690
Not the asshole but for you
to make a big deal of this.
1161
00:48:40,724 --> 00:48:43,326
I want it to be a big deal.
It is a big deal.
1162
00:48:43,359 --> 00:48:44,828
Well, let's make it
interesting.
1163
00:48:44,861 --> 00:48:45,995
Okay, why don't we?
1164
00:48:46,029 --> 00:48:49,599
The loser has to eat the
winner's pussy out for an hour.
1165
00:48:49,632 --> 00:48:53,369
You better grab a big old bib,
'cause it's chow time.
1166
00:48:53,403 --> 00:48:54,637
(snickers)
1167
00:48:54,671 --> 00:48:56,339
Dick chow time.
1168
00:48:56,372 --> 00:48:57,874
'Cause I'm gonna win,
1169
00:48:57,907 --> 00:49:00,744
- and you're gonna have to eat my dick for an hour.
- Wha...
1170
00:49:00,777 --> 00:49:02,479
GARY (in distance):
And you know something?
1171
00:49:02,512 --> 00:49:04,547
That's a long time,
dick-eating-wise.
1172
00:49:04,581 --> 00:49:05,715
(door closes)
1173
00:49:06,750 --> 00:49:08,885
A long time!
1174
00:49:08,918 --> 00:49:11,287
To eat my dick.
1175
00:49:12,522 --> 00:49:15,358
(intense music playing)
1176
00:49:15,391 --> 00:49:16,860
NARRATOR:
In a dangerous world
1177
00:49:16,893 --> 00:49:18,628
- gone mad...
- (roaring)
1178
00:49:18,661 --> 00:49:20,897
we need emotionally stable
leadership.
1179
00:49:20,930 --> 00:49:23,366
(distorted, maniacal laughing)
1180
00:49:23,399 --> 00:49:25,668
Only Mayor Braun
is stable enough
1181
00:49:25,702 --> 00:49:27,904
to keep Deerlaken safe,
1182
00:49:27,937 --> 00:49:30,507
to keep Deerlaken Deerlaken.
1183
00:49:30,540 --> 00:49:32,308
(laughing)
1184
00:49:32,342 --> 00:49:33,810
I got you.
1185
00:49:33,843 --> 00:49:36,813
I'm Mayor Braun,
and I approve this message.
1186
00:49:36,846 --> 00:49:38,081
Here.
1187
00:49:38,114 --> 00:49:40,517
ANNOUNCER: Paid for by
Traditional Wisconsin Families
1188
00:49:40,550 --> 00:49:41,851
for Faith and Freedom.
1189
00:49:41,885 --> 00:49:44,721
- (phones ringing)
- (indistinct chatter)
1190
00:49:44,754 --> 00:49:46,790
FAITH: They've taken the office
just across from mine.
1191
00:49:46,823 --> 00:49:48,091
They're definitely ramping up,
1192
00:49:48,124 --> 00:49:50,426
so I'm gonna need
the full crew.
1193
00:49:50,460 --> 00:49:53,463
If Zimmer wants to take a stand
in Turdsville, USA,
1194
00:49:53,496 --> 00:49:55,098
I say we bury him here.
1195
00:49:55,131 --> 00:49:56,566
Sorry.
1196
00:49:56,599 --> 00:49:57,834
Not a turd.
1197
00:49:57,867 --> 00:49:59,669
Heart and soul of America.
1198
00:49:59,702 --> 00:50:01,671
Get me the nerdy guy
from analytics.
1199
00:50:01,704 --> 00:50:04,374
- MAN (on phone): Who's that?
- I don't know his name.
1200
00:50:04,407 --> 00:50:06,109
He wears glasses and plaid.
1201
00:50:06,142 --> 00:50:08,378
- Has a very complicated beard.
- Which one?
1202
00:50:08,411 --> 00:50:11,447
FAITH: How the fuck does that
not narrow it down? I...
1203
00:50:11,481 --> 00:50:13,716
- God fucking damn it.
- What?
1204
00:50:13,750 --> 00:50:16,419
And send me everyone
by yesterday.
1205
00:50:16,452 --> 00:50:17,821
(over phone):
I'll get on it.
1206
00:50:17,854 --> 00:50:19,522
- (slams phone on table)
- (exhales)
1207
00:50:30,466 --> 00:50:31,935
GARY:
Sor... Hey, Dot.
1208
00:50:34,771 --> 00:50:36,372
- ANN: Gary.
- KURT: Hey, big guy?
1209
00:50:36,406 --> 00:50:38,441
- Yes.
- We got a problem.
1210
00:50:39,742 --> 00:50:40,910
What's up?
1211
00:50:40,944 --> 00:50:43,413
Having trouble
rounding up focus groups?
1212
00:50:43,446 --> 00:50:44,581
No.
1213
00:50:44,614 --> 00:50:45,882
- (dial-up modem droning, beeping)
- Shh.
1214
00:50:49,185 --> 00:50:51,521
KURT (scoffs):
I don't even know what to say.
1215
00:50:51,554 --> 00:50:53,723
Hey, hey, everybody.
1216
00:50:53,756 --> 00:50:56,559
Do we know why we have dial-up
in this space?
1217
00:50:56,593 --> 00:50:57,760
MAN:
Duffy had it upgraded
1218
00:50:57,794 --> 00:50:59,629
right before
he closed the shop.
1219
00:50:59,662 --> 00:51:00,663
Upgraded from what?
1220
00:51:01,898 --> 00:51:03,900
- Nothing.
- Well, is there any way
1221
00:51:03,933 --> 00:51:06,002
we can piggyback Wi-Fi
from someplace?
1222
00:51:06,035 --> 00:51:08,671
Uh, there's a place where the
kids go and they do homework
1223
00:51:08,705 --> 00:51:09,873
and they play games
and whatnot.
1224
00:51:09,906 --> 00:51:12,575
- I know the password.
- GARY: Okay.
1225
00:51:12,609 --> 00:51:14,644
- Solving problems.
- ANN: Nice!
1226
00:51:14,677 --> 00:51:16,679
(typing)
1227
00:51:20,617 --> 00:51:21,851
(knocking on window)
1228
00:51:21,885 --> 00:51:23,887
(Gary sighs)
1229
00:51:25,822 --> 00:51:29,759
Listen, I... I don't think
you're allowed to be here
1230
00:51:29,792 --> 00:51:32,896
unless you're on official
school business, so...
1231
00:51:32,929 --> 00:51:35,565
Okay, look, uh, Officer...
1232
00:51:35,598 --> 00:51:37,467
- Tommy.
- Officer Tommy.
1233
00:51:37,500 --> 00:51:40,003
Um, we are with
the Hastings campaign,
1234
00:51:40,036 --> 00:51:42,572
and we're trying to get
some work done here.
1235
00:51:42,605 --> 00:51:44,007
It's sort of time-sensitive.
1236
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:47,043
So... um, okay, here we go.
1237
00:51:47,076 --> 00:51:48,978
Here is a pen.
1238
00:51:49,012 --> 00:51:51,215
- Okay.
- And...
1239
00:51:51,248 --> 00:51:53,650
- one of these beer thingies.
- KURT: Koozie.
1240
00:51:53,683 --> 00:51:56,519
Koozie, and, uh...
1241
00:51:56,552 --> 00:51:58,721
thank you for your service.
1242
00:52:04,060 --> 00:52:06,429
(typing continues)
1243
00:52:11,868 --> 00:52:14,604
- (knocking on window)
- Oh, for God sakes.
1244
00:52:15,939 --> 00:52:18,975
Hello, boys.
1245
00:52:19,008 --> 00:52:20,843
(muffled):
Gentlemen, these are children!
1246
00:52:20,877 --> 00:52:22,612
- DIANA: Hey. - Hi.
- Children!
1247
00:52:22,645 --> 00:52:25,048
- Great job, guys.
- And do you know what that looked like?
1248
00:52:25,081 --> 00:52:26,816
Sitting in your car?
1249
00:52:26,849 --> 00:52:28,918
A bunch of boys
on the computer?
1250
00:52:30,086 --> 00:52:32,855
(clapping)
1251
00:52:35,124 --> 00:52:37,560
No, no, no. Thank you.
1252
00:52:37,593 --> 00:52:40,596
So, I see they sprung you
from detention, huh?
1253
00:52:40,630 --> 00:52:42,065
Yeah, apparently,
small-town hospitality
1254
00:52:42,098 --> 00:52:44,268
doesn't apply to Wi-Fi.
1255
00:52:44,301 --> 00:52:45,935
They're not too keen
on strangers staking out
1256
00:52:45,969 --> 00:52:47,937
a school parking lot...
you know, kids and all.
1257
00:52:47,971 --> 00:52:49,739
Yeah, in hindsight,
that makes complete sense.
1258
00:52:49,772 --> 00:52:50,974
JACK:
Mm-hmm.
1259
00:52:51,007 --> 00:52:52,976
Guys, could I talk to you
for a sec?
1260
00:52:53,009 --> 00:52:54,110
- Yeah.
- My office.
1261
00:52:54,143 --> 00:52:56,079
Come on in. Have a seat.
1262
00:52:56,112 --> 00:52:57,981
You can leave the door open.
1263
00:52:58,014 --> 00:52:59,782
- Here's the deal.
- (claps)
1264
00:52:59,816 --> 00:53:02,118
Our opponents are pumping
way more into this
1265
00:53:02,151 --> 00:53:04,053
than I ever expected them to.
1266
00:53:04,087 --> 00:53:07,056
- DIANA: Huh.
- This rinky-dink stuff is not gonna fly.
1267
00:53:07,090 --> 00:53:09,125
We need to up
our fundraising game.
1268
00:53:09,158 --> 00:53:11,060
Okay. That's...
1269
00:53:11,094 --> 00:53:13,930
Sure. Do you want to do, uh,
like, a street fair or...?
1270
00:53:13,963 --> 00:53:15,932
- That's a good idea.
- (Gary chuckles)
1271
00:53:15,965 --> 00:53:17,600
No, it's not a good idea.
1272
00:53:17,633 --> 00:53:19,736
Don't... No, we're not
gonna do that.
1273
00:53:19,769 --> 00:53:21,771
Have you ever been to New York?
1274
00:53:21,804 --> 00:53:23,740
(dial-up modem droning)
1275
00:53:25,174 --> 00:53:27,577
Oh, my God, please unplug it.
1276
00:53:27,610 --> 00:53:29,012
Please unplug it.
1277
00:53:29,045 --> 00:53:30,580
(droning continues)
1278
00:53:30,613 --> 00:53:32,615
Unplug it!
1279
00:53:32,648 --> 00:53:34,083
(food crunching)
1280
00:53:34,117 --> 00:53:36,719
GARY: I'm just looking
at the guest list here.
1281
00:53:36,753 --> 00:53:38,955
Great. Great turnout.
1282
00:53:38,988 --> 00:53:41,758
Especially considering
the short notice.
1283
00:53:41,791 --> 00:53:43,126
Really good.
1284
00:53:43,159 --> 00:53:44,727
(exhales slowly)
1285
00:53:44,761 --> 00:53:47,630
Mmm. You ever have
one of those?
1286
00:53:49,766 --> 00:53:51,734
Yeah, green beans.
1287
00:53:51,768 --> 00:53:53,036
Haricot vert.
1288
00:53:53,069 --> 00:53:54,604
(green bean crunching)
1289
00:53:54,637 --> 00:53:57,707
Isn't that French
for "green beans"?
1290
00:53:57,740 --> 00:54:00,043
These are more delicate.
1291
00:54:00,076 --> 00:54:01,878
Thinner, more flavorful.
1292
00:54:04,914 --> 00:54:07,717
- I didn't know you spoke French.
- Mm.
1293
00:54:10,387 --> 00:54:11,954
Would you like something?
1294
00:54:11,988 --> 00:54:14,090
No, no.
1295
00:54:15,691 --> 00:54:17,193
(crunching)
1296
00:54:17,227 --> 00:54:19,562
This too loud?
1297
00:54:23,199 --> 00:54:25,034
(clears throat quietly)
1298
00:54:26,403 --> 00:54:28,738
(grunting softly)
1299
00:54:32,242 --> 00:54:34,043
(swallows)
1300
00:54:34,077 --> 00:54:36,079
(grunting)
1301
00:54:42,985 --> 00:54:44,620
(coughs quietly)
1302
00:54:49,992 --> 00:54:51,661
- (elevator bell dings)
- Richard and Ginnie Peeler
1303
00:54:51,694 --> 00:54:52,662
are hosting.
1304
00:54:52,695 --> 00:54:53,996
He's a hedge fund swell.
1305
00:54:54,030 --> 00:54:56,199
She's been saving the Hudson
for about 25 years.
1306
00:54:56,233 --> 00:54:58,067
Richard Peeler. Yeah?
1307
00:54:58,101 --> 00:54:59,869
Got it.
1308
00:55:01,904 --> 00:55:03,906
Are you, like, 12?
1309
00:55:05,741 --> 00:55:07,110
- (both chuckle)
- (elevator bell dings)
1310
00:55:07,143 --> 00:55:09,213
RICHARD: It's not only that
the sand traps are deeper,
1311
00:55:09,246 --> 00:55:11,681
but the quality
of the sand at...
1312
00:55:11,714 --> 00:55:13,082
Excuse me. Gary! Hey.
1313
00:55:13,116 --> 00:55:15,118
Dick Peeler.
1314
00:55:15,151 --> 00:55:17,820
RICHARD:
Gary, thank you for coming.
1315
00:55:17,854 --> 00:55:19,889
GARY: Oh, my pleasure.
Thanks for having us.
1316
00:55:19,922 --> 00:55:21,190
RICHARD: Well, we're
really, really excited.
1317
00:55:21,225 --> 00:55:23,659
GARY:
We're excited. Jack! Jack!
1318
00:55:23,693 --> 00:55:25,094
I'd like you to meet
Richard Peeler.
1319
00:55:25,128 --> 00:55:26,195
- What an honor.
- Colonel Jack Hastings.
1320
00:55:26,230 --> 00:55:27,997
- Oh.
- Very nice to meet you.
1321
00:55:28,030 --> 00:55:29,999
- Thank you for... having us.
- Oh, it's really an honor.
1322
00:55:30,032 --> 00:55:32,034
- And, uh...
- Yeah.
1323
00:55:32,068 --> 00:55:34,837
No, it's, uh, you know,
the authentic thing here.
1324
00:55:34,871 --> 00:55:36,206
I see that. It's amazing.
1325
00:55:36,240 --> 00:55:38,107
Uh, can I get you
something to drink?
1326
00:55:38,141 --> 00:55:39,842
Sure. What would you like?
1327
00:55:39,876 --> 00:55:42,912
Uh, I'd like a little, uh, tea.
1328
00:55:42,945 --> 00:55:44,914
Chamomile if you have it.
1329
00:55:44,947 --> 00:55:46,149
(laughs) All right.
1330
00:55:46,182 --> 00:55:47,750
That's fine.
You want a Scotch.
1331
00:55:47,783 --> 00:55:49,051
- Yes, please.
- Yes, I know that.
1332
00:55:51,988 --> 00:55:55,057
(indistinct conversations)
1333
00:55:56,893 --> 00:55:58,728
MAN:
He's a criminal.
1334
00:55:58,761 --> 00:55:59,962
Oh, thank you.
1335
00:55:59,996 --> 00:56:01,164
He's a criminal.
1336
00:56:01,197 --> 00:56:02,798
Trust me,
I've done deals with him.
1337
00:56:02,832 --> 00:56:04,268
WOMAN:
Our democracy is falling apart.
1338
00:56:04,301 --> 00:56:05,768
We're gonna lose it.
1339
00:56:05,801 --> 00:56:07,271
Tom Friedman had a great line.
1340
00:56:07,304 --> 00:56:09,705
MAN: I like to say he's
the Bitcoin of presidents.
1341
00:56:09,739 --> 00:56:11,475
WOMAN: Her whole dress line
was made in China.
1342
00:56:11,508 --> 00:56:13,243
WOMAN:
The man is mentally ill.
1343
00:56:13,277 --> 00:56:14,877
MAN:
Fuckface von Clownstick.
1344
00:56:14,911 --> 00:56:16,712
MAN:
I'm mad? We should all be mad.
1345
00:56:16,746 --> 00:56:19,048
MAN: I mean, what kind
of person hunts elephants?
1346
00:56:19,081 --> 00:56:21,318
And there's not a whole lot
of the, um...
1347
00:56:21,351 --> 00:56:22,919
What did you call that?
1348
00:56:22,952 --> 00:56:24,921
- Uh, farm-to-table.
- The farm-to-table.
1349
00:56:24,954 --> 00:56:29,158
I mean, I guess
it all kind of, uh...
1350
00:56:29,192 --> 00:56:33,963
all goes from farms to tables
of some kind.
1351
00:56:37,234 --> 00:56:39,902
RICHARD: We're so excited
that you're all here.
1352
00:56:39,936 --> 00:56:42,104
And we are so thankful
1353
00:56:42,138 --> 00:56:44,208
to our old friend
for presenting us
1354
00:56:44,241 --> 00:56:47,877
with another informative and,
uh, just stimulating evening.
1355
00:56:47,910 --> 00:56:50,012
- Oh.
- (laughter)
1356
00:56:50,046 --> 00:56:51,948
RICHARD:
You know him. You love him.
1357
00:56:51,981 --> 00:56:53,749
- And sometimes hate.
- (laughter)
1358
00:56:53,783 --> 00:56:56,852
- Hate writing the checks, but, uh, you know.
- Yeah.
1359
00:56:58,087 --> 00:57:00,224
- Gary.
- Thank you. Thanks so much.
1360
00:57:00,257 --> 00:57:01,891
Thanks for coming.
1361
00:57:01,924 --> 00:57:03,092
And thank you...
1362
00:57:03,125 --> 00:57:05,229
Keep that going
for the Peelers, please.
1363
00:57:05,262 --> 00:57:07,964
Their tremendous hospitality.
1364
00:57:07,997 --> 00:57:10,234
Listen, I'm not gonna take up
too much of your time
1365
00:57:10,267 --> 00:57:13,069
other than to say
thank you all for being here.
1366
00:57:13,102 --> 00:57:16,105
One thing I do want to say,
though, is that
1367
00:57:16,138 --> 00:57:20,009
Colonel Jack Hastings
is the embodiment
1368
00:57:20,042 --> 00:57:22,178
of America's real greatness.
1369
00:57:22,212 --> 00:57:26,182
Service to nation,
hard work, faith.
1370
00:57:26,216 --> 00:57:29,286
Republicans don't own
those values, do they?
1371
00:57:29,319 --> 00:57:31,020
- (crowd murmuring)
- They don't own 'em.
1372
00:57:31,053 --> 00:57:32,989
They can't.
1373
00:57:33,022 --> 00:57:34,291
Inclusion.
1374
00:57:34,324 --> 00:57:35,992
That's the most important
of all.
1375
00:57:36,025 --> 00:57:37,994
But sometimes,
we get comfortable
1376
00:57:38,027 --> 00:57:39,862
in our own little
ideological bubbles.
1377
00:57:39,895 --> 00:57:41,265
I see them.
1378
00:57:41,298 --> 00:57:43,165
You can't see them,
necessarily, but I see 'em.
1379
00:57:43,199 --> 00:57:44,568
There's a little bubble there.
1380
00:57:44,601 --> 00:57:46,403
- (laughter)
- There's a little bubble there.
1381
00:57:46,436 --> 00:57:48,871
And we forget to reach out.
1382
00:57:48,904 --> 00:57:51,341
To find empathy
and understanding
1383
00:57:51,375 --> 00:57:55,144
across religious or racial
1384
00:57:55,177 --> 00:57:58,014
or just plain geographical
boundaries.
1385
00:57:58,047 --> 00:58:00,983
And I hope tonight changes
that, even just a little bit.
1386
00:58:02,018 --> 00:58:04,221
So, without further ado,
1387
00:58:04,254 --> 00:58:06,856
I would like you to join me
in welcoming
1388
00:58:06,889 --> 00:58:10,394
the next mayor of
Deerlaken, Wisconsin,
1389
00:58:10,427 --> 00:58:12,928
Colonel Jack Hastings.
1390
00:58:12,962 --> 00:58:14,997
- (applause, whooping)
- MAN: Hear, hear.
1391
00:58:19,436 --> 00:58:22,372
Uh, uh... thanks, folks.
1392
00:58:22,406 --> 00:58:25,609
And thanks to Gary
1393
00:58:25,642 --> 00:58:28,445
- and to the Peelers.
- RICHARD: Thank you.
1394
00:58:28,478 --> 00:58:31,180
Wow, this is a great house.
1395
00:58:31,214 --> 00:58:33,149
It's a great house.
1396
00:58:33,182 --> 00:58:35,285
Um...
1397
00:58:35,319 --> 00:58:37,119
(chuckles quietly)
1398
00:58:37,153 --> 00:58:39,922
I see some of you are...
1399
00:58:39,955 --> 00:58:42,359
wondering what I'm doing here.
1400
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:44,894
And...
1401
00:58:46,095 --> 00:58:48,799
I think I'm wondering the same.
1402
00:58:50,032 --> 00:58:51,435
Uh...
1403
00:58:51,468 --> 00:58:53,836
I guess that's the point.
1404
00:58:55,238 --> 00:58:58,874
Without all this,
you might never have met me.
1405
00:58:58,908 --> 00:59:02,245
And I certainly
wouldn't have met you.
1406
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:05,114
But...
1407
00:59:06,516 --> 00:59:08,851
...uh, now we have.
1408
00:59:10,152 --> 00:59:11,655
(sighs)
1409
00:59:11,688 --> 00:59:14,224
So, uh...
1410
00:59:17,059 --> 00:59:18,228
Um...
1411
00:59:18,261 --> 00:59:20,096
Colonel, Colonel.
1412
00:59:20,129 --> 00:59:22,432
- Yeah.
- Gary Zimmer from "The D.C. Bugle."
1413
00:59:22,466 --> 00:59:25,034
- (laughter)
- Um, why...
1414
00:59:25,067 --> 00:59:29,071
why should a bunch of uptight
Upper West Siders care about
1415
00:59:29,105 --> 00:59:30,906
a little town in Wisconsin?
1416
00:59:30,940 --> 00:59:32,676
(quiet murmuring)
1417
00:59:32,709 --> 00:59:35,212
Uh, it's hard to say.
1418
00:59:36,279 --> 00:59:38,382
I guess we're hurting,
1419
00:59:38,415 --> 00:59:41,418
looking for help from you.
1420
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:45,389
What can we do to help?
1421
00:59:45,422 --> 00:59:47,524
I'll take that. Money.
1422
00:59:47,557 --> 00:59:49,459
- (laughter)
- Money.
1423
00:59:49,493 --> 00:59:52,396
It's a serious question,
actually.
1424
00:59:52,429 --> 00:59:55,298
You know,
our politics seem broken.
1425
00:59:55,332 --> 00:59:59,902
Colonel, what do you see is
the system's greatest weakness?
1426
01:00:03,005 --> 01:00:06,510
Hmm, well, I guess,
for one thing,
1427
01:00:06,543 --> 01:00:09,111
this.
1428
01:00:09,145 --> 01:00:10,913
Here, tonight.
1429
01:00:12,382 --> 01:00:15,419
And I mean no disrespect.
1430
01:00:16,753 --> 01:00:20,089
I just think
this seems a bit crazy.
1431
01:00:20,122 --> 01:00:22,191
I want to help my town.
1432
01:00:22,225 --> 01:00:24,160
I want to be mayor,
1433
01:00:24,193 --> 01:00:27,297
some town in the middle
of Wisconsin.
1434
01:00:27,330 --> 01:00:29,266
So, instead of being home
1435
01:00:29,299 --> 01:00:32,302
working on some smart things
to help my town,
1436
01:00:32,335 --> 01:00:35,205
I have to fly here to your town
1437
01:00:35,238 --> 01:00:38,174
and convince you
that my town's worth saving.
1438
01:00:38,208 --> 01:00:41,043
And that I'm worth it.
1439
01:00:41,076 --> 01:00:44,514
And that saving it
is worth it to you.
1440
01:00:44,548 --> 01:00:47,016
All so you can give me
some money.
1441
01:00:47,049 --> 01:00:50,019
Not for my town, but for me.
1442
01:00:50,052 --> 01:00:54,458
To help convince my town
that I'm worth it.
1443
01:00:56,359 --> 01:00:59,529
I mean...
1444
01:00:59,563 --> 01:01:04,166
I don't know,
it just sounds so stupid.
1445
01:01:05,602 --> 01:01:07,036
(sighs)
1446
01:01:07,069 --> 01:01:08,472
♪ ♪
1447
01:01:08,505 --> 01:01:10,105
(Jack grunts softly)
1448
01:01:19,249 --> 01:01:21,016
Still crying?
1449
01:01:22,452 --> 01:01:24,621
GARY:
A little bit.
1450
01:01:24,654 --> 01:01:26,289
JACK:
Mm.
1451
01:01:27,824 --> 01:01:32,496
You gonna do that
all the way home?
1452
01:01:32,529 --> 01:01:34,331
Yes.
1453
01:01:37,367 --> 01:01:39,369
Why?
1454
01:01:40,537 --> 01:01:42,506
Because the seat belt sign
is on
1455
01:01:42,539 --> 01:01:45,475
and I can't get up to hug you.
1456
01:01:45,509 --> 01:01:48,411
Damn, Jack.
1457
01:01:48,445 --> 01:01:51,113
(sighs)
You walked in there,
1458
01:01:51,146 --> 01:01:54,183
into the lion's den
like that...
1459
01:01:54,217 --> 01:01:55,252
Daniel.
1460
01:01:55,285 --> 01:01:57,119
Yeah, and just...
1461
01:01:57,152 --> 01:02:00,257
you told 'em, straight up,
this isn't right.
1462
01:02:00,290 --> 01:02:02,392
This is wrong.
The system is corrupt.
1463
01:02:02,425 --> 01:02:04,594
(imitating Al Pacino): I'm out
of order? You're out of order.
1464
01:02:04,628 --> 01:02:06,296
The whole damn system's
out of order!
1465
01:02:06,329 --> 01:02:08,632
Attica! Att...
1466
01:02:08,665 --> 01:02:10,233
(grunts intensely)
1467
01:02:10,267 --> 01:02:12,269
(gasps) Money.
1468
01:02:12,302 --> 01:02:16,540
Oh, God, their money
is the problem?
1469
01:02:16,573 --> 01:02:19,242
(chuckling):
Oh!
1470
01:02:19,276 --> 01:02:20,844
You should've seen their faces.
1471
01:02:20,877 --> 01:02:22,445
I saw.
1472
01:02:22,479 --> 01:02:26,216
They ate it up.
1473
01:02:26,249 --> 01:02:28,552
We could've named our price.
1474
01:02:28,585 --> 01:02:31,288
(grunts, laughs)
1475
01:02:31,321 --> 01:02:33,088
Oh, no way Faith matches.
1476
01:02:33,122 --> 01:02:35,325
- And why is that, now?
- Oh.
1477
01:02:35,358 --> 01:02:38,428
Because they're spending
to stop something,
1478
01:02:38,461 --> 01:02:40,497
and we're spending
to start something.
1479
01:02:41,631 --> 01:02:43,500
- (Gary sighs)
- Hmm.
1480
01:02:43,533 --> 01:02:45,435
(imitating Peter Finch):
I'm mad as hell,
1481
01:02:45,468 --> 01:02:47,871
and I can't take it anymore!
1482
01:02:47,904 --> 01:02:50,340
- (Jack chuckles)
- (gasps) Oh!
1483
01:02:50,373 --> 01:02:52,542
Gary, you... green bean?
1484
01:02:52,576 --> 01:02:54,244
No. (laughs)
1485
01:02:54,277 --> 01:02:56,178
Okay. No, thank you.
1486
01:02:58,248 --> 01:03:00,283
(sighs):
Wow.
1487
01:03:00,317 --> 01:03:02,719
I'm telling you,
he is the real deal.
1488
01:03:02,752 --> 01:03:05,589
It is like a Bill Clinton
with impulse control.
1489
01:03:05,622 --> 01:03:07,624
Like a churchgoing
Bernie Sanders
1490
01:03:07,657 --> 01:03:09,426
with better bone density.
1491
01:03:09,459 --> 01:03:11,193
- He... Oh, here they are.
- JACK: Hello. Good morning.
1492
01:03:11,227 --> 01:03:12,596
Here they are.
1493
01:03:12,629 --> 01:03:14,598
Ladies and gentlemen,
the next mayor of Deerlaken
1494
01:03:14,631 --> 01:03:16,198
and his talented
first daughter.
1495
01:03:16,232 --> 01:03:18,234
- Please join me.
- You are fired up, huh?
1496
01:03:18,268 --> 01:03:20,403
I am fired...
Why wouldn't I be fired up?
1497
01:03:20,437 --> 01:03:24,608
I am working with the future
of the Democratic Party here.
1498
01:03:24,641 --> 01:03:27,711
Oh, your dad the other night
was transcendent.
1499
01:03:27,744 --> 01:03:29,546
He crushed it.
1500
01:03:29,579 --> 01:03:31,715
And because of that,
I'd like to show you
1501
01:03:31,748 --> 01:03:34,250
the fruits of your labor.
1502
01:03:34,284 --> 01:03:38,221
Because he was so good,
I was able to hire...
1503
01:03:38,254 --> 01:03:39,689
the "A" team.
1504
01:03:39,723 --> 01:03:41,625
- Mm-hmm.
- GARY: I'm just kidding.
1505
01:03:41,658 --> 01:03:43,293
They're not the "A" team.
1506
01:03:43,326 --> 01:03:44,661
Not that you aren't great.
1507
01:03:44,694 --> 01:03:47,464
- But this...
- (keypad beeping)
1508
01:03:47,497 --> 01:03:48,732
is the real "A" team.
1509
01:03:48,765 --> 01:03:50,634
TINA: I get it,
but what are the numbers?
1510
01:03:50,667 --> 01:03:52,502
(Diana gasps)
1511
01:03:52,535 --> 01:03:54,404
(quiet, indistinct chatter)
1512
01:03:56,272 --> 01:03:57,507
- You know Kurt Lehman, polling and modeling.
- Oh, my God.
1513
01:03:57,540 --> 01:03:59,174
- Yes. Hi.
- KURT: Hi.
1514
01:03:59,209 --> 01:04:00,677
- He gives us a window into the electorate.
- Hi. - Hey.
1515
01:04:00,710 --> 01:04:02,445
- How are you?
- GARY: Best in the business.
1516
01:04:02,479 --> 01:04:04,214
When everyone was
predicting Hillary
1517
01:04:04,247 --> 01:04:06,950
in a landslide over Trump,
Kurt was the one guy
1518
01:04:06,983 --> 01:04:09,753
who had her
just barely beating him.
1519
01:04:09,786 --> 01:04:13,256
My models just picked up the
trend lines, so... (chuckles)
1520
01:04:13,289 --> 01:04:15,258
If the election had taken place
a month or two later...
1521
01:04:15,291 --> 01:04:17,961
My numbers would've been
100% on the money.
1522
01:04:17,994 --> 01:04:19,729
- Mm-hmm.
- DIANA: Wow.
1523
01:04:19,763 --> 01:04:21,398
Impressive.
1524
01:04:21,431 --> 01:04:22,565
Well...
1525
01:04:22,599 --> 01:04:24,334
Well, he was the least wrong.
1526
01:04:24,367 --> 01:04:25,969
Tina Kuryev, analytics.
1527
01:04:26,002 --> 01:04:27,604
She gives us a window
into the voters.
1528
01:04:27,637 --> 01:04:29,239
Good to meet you, sir.
1529
01:04:29,272 --> 01:04:31,741
Oh. I thought, uh,
polling did that.
1530
01:04:31,775 --> 01:04:34,477
- It does.
- Well, he tells you how he thinks they feel.
1531
01:04:34,511 --> 01:04:36,413
I tell you how
they really feel.
1532
01:04:38,415 --> 01:04:41,284
- People are liars.
- Here we go.
1533
01:04:41,317 --> 01:04:44,387
He can tell you how often
people say they go to church.
1534
01:04:44,421 --> 01:04:45,789
She can tell you
if they actually go.
1535
01:04:45,822 --> 01:04:47,991
I can tell you
if God is in their hearts.
1536
01:04:48,024 --> 01:04:49,492
- Oh, my God.
- Tina's in online analytics.
1537
01:04:49,526 --> 01:04:50,994
KURT:
Hey, can I just say...
1538
01:04:51,027 --> 01:04:53,496
we take deception into account,
too, okay? (chuckles)
1539
01:04:53,530 --> 01:04:55,565
Yeah, polling is
an art form, but,
1540
01:04:55,598 --> 01:04:57,834
you know, there's plenty
of science to back it up.
1541
01:04:57,867 --> 01:05:00,336
Says the guy
still calling landlines.
1542
01:05:00,370 --> 01:05:02,672
People tell computers
the truth, right?
1543
01:05:02,706 --> 01:05:04,774
Their desires,
their prejudices.
1544
01:05:04,808 --> 01:05:06,710
Every search,
every transaction...
1545
01:05:06,743 --> 01:05:08,712
it's an unguarded
private moment.
1546
01:05:08,745 --> 01:05:12,015
So there's no, uh,
margin of error, you know?
1547
01:05:12,048 --> 01:05:14,784
The digital footprint
is your true self.
1548
01:05:14,818 --> 01:05:17,020
But, surely,
people are more complicated
1549
01:05:17,053 --> 01:05:19,322
than their online transactions.
1550
01:05:19,355 --> 01:05:21,357
Well, says the woman
with three cats
1551
01:05:21,391 --> 01:05:23,760
and an intense search history
of the herpes virus.
1552
01:05:29,899 --> 01:05:31,835
One of the cats...
1553
01:05:31,868 --> 01:05:33,737
Is this legal?
1554
01:05:33,770 --> 01:05:36,539
Law enforcement
or in the eyes of God?
1555
01:05:39,409 --> 01:05:41,845
NEWSWOMAN: With two weeks to go
until election day,
1556
01:05:41,878 --> 01:05:44,347
we have an update
on the Deerlaken mayoral race.
1557
01:05:44,380 --> 01:05:46,349
The race between
Colonel Jack Hastings
1558
01:05:46,382 --> 01:05:49,652
and incumbent Mayor Billy Braun
is tightening.
1559
01:05:49,686 --> 01:05:51,588
Who here has been chosen
as 527s?
1560
01:05:51,621 --> 01:05:52,622
- Raise your hands, please.
- (murmuring)
1561
01:05:52,655 --> 01:05:55,625
One, two, three, four. Good.
1562
01:05:55,658 --> 01:05:57,627
You all run super PACs now.
1563
01:05:57,660 --> 01:06:01,798
You are no longer associated
with this campaign.
1564
01:06:01,831 --> 01:06:06,669
And as such, it is time to move
to your super PAC location,
1565
01:06:06,703 --> 01:06:09,839
which is all the way
at the back of the room,
1566
01:06:09,873 --> 01:06:13,843
far, far away from the activity
of the campaign.
1567
01:06:14,911 --> 01:06:16,579
Right now?
1568
01:06:16,613 --> 01:06:19,382
I am not at liberty to say.
1569
01:06:19,415 --> 01:06:22,752
The campaign cannot coordinate
with the super PAC.
1570
01:06:22,786 --> 01:06:24,387
So...
1571
01:06:24,420 --> 01:06:26,523
(whispers):
After the meeting.
1572
01:06:26,556 --> 01:06:28,525
♪ You always won ♪
1573
01:06:28,558 --> 01:06:30,860
♪ Every time
you placed a bet... ♪
1574
01:06:34,364 --> 01:06:35,799
Get me that fucking sat truck!
1575
01:06:35,832 --> 01:06:38,635
Get it now! They're gonna
out-communicate us!
1576
01:06:38,668 --> 01:06:41,404
Here, we have an unusual
cluster of single women.
1577
01:06:41,437 --> 01:06:42,572
They're all gonna get pamphlets
1578
01:06:42,605 --> 01:06:44,374
saying that the mayor
is gonna repeal
1579
01:06:44,407 --> 01:06:45,909
the health care payment
for birth control.
1580
01:06:45,942 --> 01:06:47,343
JACK:
What's this?
1581
01:06:47,377 --> 01:06:49,712
It's eight SMAWs.
1582
01:06:49,746 --> 01:06:51,815
Stay-at-home middle-aged women.
1583
01:06:51,848 --> 01:06:54,384
- 29 to 54.
- DIANA: 29?
1584
01:06:54,417 --> 01:06:55,952
That's middle-aged?
1585
01:06:55,985 --> 01:06:58,121
Yes. Yes, it is.
1586
01:06:58,154 --> 01:06:59,823
KURT: You got to do it
on the adjective.
1587
01:06:59,856 --> 01:07:01,624
Safe streets.
It's not safe streets.
1588
01:07:01,658 --> 01:07:03,660
- Everybody wants safe streets!
- Safe... No, no, no.
1589
01:07:03,693 --> 01:07:04,694
Okay, that's coming off
a little angry.
1590
01:07:04,727 --> 01:07:07,430
GARY: Did you finish
those donor calls?
1591
01:07:07,463 --> 01:07:08,832
JACK:
Yeah, just about.
1592
01:07:08,865 --> 01:07:10,834
I just always had a notion
that farmers had a...
1593
01:07:10,867 --> 01:07:12,702
I'm sorry, are...
are you clicking your heels?
1594
01:07:12,735 --> 01:07:13,937
Are you Dorothy?
1595
01:07:13,970 --> 01:07:15,705
Is there no place like home?
1596
01:07:15,738 --> 01:07:17,941
♪ Turning on the charm ♪
1597
01:07:17,974 --> 01:07:20,910
- ♪ Long enough to get you by ♪
- ♪ Still the same... ♪
1598
01:07:20,944 --> 01:07:24,447
JACK: America's greatness
and God's grace...
1599
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:27,817
I'd go to battle
for those two any day.
1600
01:07:27,851 --> 01:07:29,519
ANNOUNCER:
Paid for by Wisconsinites
1601
01:07:29,552 --> 01:07:30,887
for Religiously Based
Compassionate Empathy.
1602
01:07:35,758 --> 01:07:36,860
- (Jack sighs)
- Did you just sigh?
1603
01:07:36,893 --> 01:07:38,494
- Did he just sigh?
- Oh, I can't...
1604
01:07:38,528 --> 01:07:39,796
Don't even get me started
with sighing.
1605
01:07:39,829 --> 01:07:41,865
TINA:
Now, here, this cluster in blue
1606
01:07:41,898 --> 01:07:43,733
have children,
so they're gonna get
1607
01:07:43,766 --> 01:07:45,969
pamphlets saying
"save our schools"
1608
01:07:46,002 --> 01:07:49,505
because it's 1950
and everybody loves pamphlets.
1609
01:07:49,539 --> 01:07:50,940
"Hi. My name is Jack.
I'm exasperated."
1610
01:07:50,974 --> 01:07:52,475
(takes exaggerated deep breath)
1611
01:07:52,508 --> 01:07:54,611
Why don't we move on
to the WoMAMs?
1612
01:07:54,644 --> 01:07:56,412
White middle-aged men.
1613
01:07:56,446 --> 01:07:57,714
(laughter)
1614
01:07:59,649 --> 01:08:03,887
♪ I had nothing left to say ♪
1615
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:05,889
♪ 'Cause you're
still the same ♪
1616
01:08:05,922 --> 01:08:07,624
♪ Still the same ♪
1617
01:08:07,657 --> 01:08:09,893
♪ Baby, baby, still the same ♪
1618
01:08:09,926 --> 01:08:11,461
GARY:
What's this?
1619
01:08:11,494 --> 01:08:12,729
KURT:
Walt.
1620
01:08:12,762 --> 01:08:13,997
♪ You're still the same... ♪
1621
01:08:14,030 --> 01:08:15,765
Is that an acronym?
1622
01:08:15,798 --> 01:08:18,401
No, it is not.
1623
01:08:19,936 --> 01:08:24,574
Can I still bring baked goods
to the super PAC location?
1624
01:08:25,742 --> 01:08:27,710
(indistinct whispering)
1625
01:08:31,881 --> 01:08:33,416
No.
1626
01:08:34,550 --> 01:08:36,719
(dramatic, cinematic music
playing)
1627
01:08:50,700 --> 01:08:54,604
I'm Colonel Jack Hastings,
and I approve this message.
1628
01:08:54,637 --> 01:08:56,072
ANNOUNCER:
You want to come to Deerlaken,
1629
01:08:56,105 --> 01:08:57,907
you'll have to go through him.
1630
01:08:57,941 --> 01:09:00,610
(echoing boom)
1631
01:09:00,643 --> 01:09:02,912
Paid for by Powerful
Progressives for Strength.
1632
01:09:02,946 --> 01:09:04,914
(mouthing)
1633
01:09:06,649 --> 01:09:07,984
- Thank you so much, sir.
- You're welcome.
1634
01:09:08,017 --> 01:09:09,619
Thank you so much
for your support.
1635
01:09:09,652 --> 01:09:11,521
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
1636
01:09:13,756 --> 01:09:16,793
How the hell did she get the
bayou billionaires involved?
1637
01:09:16,826 --> 01:09:18,262
You okay?
Do you need some help?
1638
01:09:18,295 --> 01:09:19,996
- Just fine.
- You're good? Okay, thank you.
1639
01:09:20,029 --> 01:09:21,764
She must have promised
that they could have
1640
01:09:21,798 --> 01:09:23,633
the town smelted
after the election.
1641
01:09:28,671 --> 01:09:30,540
I'm just very impressed
with all this.
1642
01:09:30,573 --> 01:09:32,842
- You... you do the polling.
- KURT: Uh-huh. In fact...
1643
01:09:32,875 --> 01:09:33,843
(heavy, metallic thumping)
1644
01:09:33,876 --> 01:09:35,645
GARY:
There it is.
1645
01:09:35,678 --> 01:09:36,713
What is that?
1646
01:09:36,746 --> 01:09:38,614
No, who is that?
Elton Chambers.
1647
01:09:38,648 --> 01:09:40,717
The Rocket Man?
1648
01:09:40,750 --> 01:09:42,585
The billionaire
Rocket Man, yes.
1649
01:09:42,618 --> 01:09:44,721
Jesus Chr...
I thought he was dead.
1650
01:09:44,754 --> 01:09:46,656
- Well, he is dead.
- GARY: No, no, no.
1651
01:09:46,689 --> 01:09:48,758
A series of micro-strokes.
It's all good.
1652
01:09:48,791 --> 01:09:50,860
(slow, heavy thumping)
1653
01:09:53,997 --> 01:09:55,865
(door creaks open)
1654
01:09:55,898 --> 01:09:58,868
- (mechanical whirring)
- (heavy, metallic footsteps)
1655
01:10:07,010 --> 01:10:10,780
Sir Elton, thank you
so, so much for coming.
1656
01:10:10,813 --> 01:10:13,850
Everyone, this is
the great Sir Elton.
1657
01:10:15,352 --> 01:10:17,687
Let's get through
the pleasantries.
1658
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:20,556
This is Jack Hastings
and his daughter Diana.
1659
01:10:20,590 --> 01:10:24,560
ELTON (robotic, melodic voice):
Hello to you.
1660
01:10:24,594 --> 01:10:26,896
GARY: All right, well,
let's get right to it, then.
1661
01:10:26,929 --> 01:10:32,068
ELTON (tune of "Hava Nagila"):
Tell me, what is your position
1662
01:10:32,101 --> 01:10:35,671
concerning the settlement
1663
01:10:35,705 --> 01:10:40,810
of Kevyat Sharim?
1664
01:10:42,145 --> 01:10:44,147
Uh...
1665
01:10:44,180 --> 01:10:45,882
I'm not sure I...
1666
01:10:45,915 --> 01:10:46,983
Israel.
1667
01:10:47,016 --> 01:10:50,053
Jack believes
that sovereign nations
1668
01:10:50,086 --> 01:10:51,754
are entitled to self-defense.
1669
01:10:51,788 --> 01:10:52,922
ELTON:
Strongly?
1670
01:10:52,955 --> 01:10:54,157
Strongly believes, yes.
1671
01:10:55,191 --> 01:10:57,627
(mechanical whirring)
1672
01:10:57,660 --> 01:10:59,829
(Elton gasps, stammers)
1673
01:11:01,197 --> 01:11:02,999
(normal voice):
An election is a moral horror,
1674
01:11:03,032 --> 01:11:05,668
as bad as a battle
but without the blood.
1675
01:11:05,701 --> 01:11:07,904
That's George Bernard Shaw.
1676
01:11:09,406 --> 01:11:10,907
(robotic, melodic voice):
Get the car.
1677
01:11:10,940 --> 01:11:12,108
(whispers):
I think that went well.
1678
01:11:12,141 --> 01:11:13,910
KURT:
Seemed like a really nice guy.
1679
01:11:13,943 --> 01:11:15,678
Actually looked
pretty good, right?
1680
01:11:15,711 --> 01:11:16,879
- Yeah.
- Surprisingly robust.
1681
01:11:16,913 --> 01:11:18,915
Elton Chambers is in.
1682
01:11:18,948 --> 01:11:21,050
- Oh.
- TINA: Ah. All right.
1683
01:11:21,084 --> 01:11:22,718
Making it rain.
1684
01:11:22,752 --> 01:11:25,588
He actually has a machine
that makes it rain.
1685
01:11:35,665 --> 01:11:38,634
GARY: This margin of error
is really shrinking.
1686
01:11:38,668 --> 01:11:39,769
Excuse me. Gary...
1687
01:11:39,802 --> 01:11:40,903
- Mr. Zimmer.
- Mm-mm.
1688
01:11:40,937 --> 01:11:43,240
- Becca, super PAC.
- Uh...
1689
01:11:43,273 --> 01:11:45,708
Okay.
1690
01:11:45,741 --> 01:11:47,643
- Uh, big guy?
- GARY: Hmm?
1691
01:11:47,677 --> 01:11:49,712
We got a problem.
1692
01:11:58,721 --> 01:12:00,056
(keypad beeps)
1693
01:12:00,089 --> 01:12:02,024
Hey, everybody.
1694
01:12:02,058 --> 01:12:03,993
Hard at work, I see.
That's good.
1695
01:12:04,026 --> 01:12:06,195
That's good.
I had a couple of questions.
1696
01:12:06,230 --> 01:12:07,997
The first is: What the fuck?!
1697
01:12:08,030 --> 01:12:10,133
What tactical genius in here
1698
01:12:10,166 --> 01:12:12,436
thought it might be a good idea
to carpet-bomb
1699
01:12:12,469 --> 01:12:15,205
a particular neighborhood
in this town
1700
01:12:15,239 --> 01:12:19,008
with flyers suggesting
that Colonel Jack Hastings
1701
01:12:19,041 --> 01:12:20,776
- would make sure...
- (sighs): Fuck.
1702
01:12:20,810 --> 01:12:24,180
- ...that contraception
is paid for by the government?
1703
01:12:27,984 --> 01:12:29,719
Uh, I did.
1704
01:12:29,752 --> 01:12:31,954
- KURT (shuddering): Oh.
- TINA: The data showed an
1705
01:12:31,988 --> 01:12:34,023
unusually concentrated grouping
of single women in the area
1706
01:12:34,056 --> 01:12:36,092
who are deeply interested
in reproductive rights.
1707
01:12:36,125 --> 01:12:37,261
And you know why that is?
1708
01:12:37,294 --> 01:12:38,895
(chuckling):
Well, "why" is not really...
1709
01:12:38,928 --> 01:12:40,830
Because this "concentrated
grouping of single women,"
1710
01:12:40,863 --> 01:12:42,865
as you put it, is a convent.
1711
01:12:43,933 --> 01:12:45,768
They are nuns.
1712
01:12:45,801 --> 01:12:48,838
Which is how many of them are
going to end up voting for us.
1713
01:12:48,871 --> 01:12:51,107
"Nuns" of them. Zero.
1714
01:12:51,140 --> 01:12:53,243
- (laughs)
- It's not funny.
1715
01:12:53,277 --> 01:12:55,678
I'm not laughing.
1716
01:12:57,880 --> 01:13:00,016
(sighs) Fuck.
1717
01:13:00,049 --> 01:13:02,852
Well, I think we can
appreciate the humor
1718
01:13:02,885 --> 01:13:05,154
in this very honest mistake.
1719
01:13:05,188 --> 01:13:07,056
And the fact that the nuns
1720
01:13:07,089 --> 01:13:08,724
are generously turning
the other cheek
1721
01:13:08,758 --> 01:13:09,926
makes it a nonstory, but...
1722
01:13:09,959 --> 01:13:11,261
FAITH:
Brooke, Brooke, if I may.
1723
01:13:11,295 --> 01:13:13,297
Uh, this is really just
another perfect example
1724
01:13:13,330 --> 01:13:16,732
of the D.C. elite coming into
a place they don't understand
1725
01:13:16,766 --> 01:13:18,202
and trying to dictate
how we should live.
1726
01:13:18,235 --> 01:13:20,803
The Democrat Party can't win.
They're getting desperate.
1727
01:13:20,836 --> 01:13:22,872
They don't know us,
they don't want to know us,
1728
01:13:22,905 --> 01:13:24,907
- and they look down on our values.
- GARY: No, no.
1729
01:13:24,941 --> 01:13:26,809
That's "we." You're D.C. elite.
1730
01:13:26,842 --> 01:13:28,212
Oh, no, actually,
I'm from here.
1731
01:13:28,245 --> 01:13:29,879
BROOKE:
Faith, I didn't know that.
1732
01:13:29,912 --> 01:13:31,948
- You're from Wisconsin?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
1733
01:13:31,981 --> 01:13:33,816
Well, no, "Deer-lake-en."
I'm from "Deer-lake-en."
1734
01:13:33,849 --> 01:13:35,319
- What? Whoa.
- BROOKE: Oh. Wow.
1735
01:13:35,352 --> 01:13:37,753
So this campaign has been
a bit of a homecoming.
1736
01:13:37,787 --> 01:13:39,223
- It really is, Brooke. Thank you.
- No, no.
1737
01:13:39,256 --> 01:13:41,157
No, no, that's a lie.
That's a lie.
1738
01:13:41,190 --> 01:13:42,825
- No, it's...
- You're lying.
1739
01:13:42,858 --> 01:13:43,926
- It's-it's the truth.
- She's ly... That's...
1740
01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:45,529
- I'm from here.
- No, that... What are you even doing?
1741
01:13:45,562 --> 01:13:46,563
- (laughing): Okay.
- I-I am from here.
1742
01:13:46,597 --> 01:13:47,564
- You're not from here!
- Well, as always, a great
1743
01:13:47,598 --> 01:13:48,731
- and spirited discussion.
- Thank you so much.
1744
01:13:48,764 --> 01:13:51,133
- No, hey! No, no, no, no. She's lying.
- Thank you both.
1745
01:13:51,167 --> 01:13:52,269
- Unfortunately, we have to leave it there.
- She' a li...
1746
01:13:52,302 --> 01:13:55,104
Coming up, we'll look at more
of this year's hot races
1747
01:13:55,137 --> 01:13:57,974
and how those will affect races
four years from now.
1748
01:13:58,007 --> 01:14:00,042
Why do you even lie
about something like that?
1749
01:14:00,076 --> 01:14:03,347
(sighs) Honestly, I, uh...
I don't even know.
1750
01:14:03,380 --> 01:14:05,181
(mocking):
"I... I don't even know."
1751
01:14:05,215 --> 01:14:07,049
Wh-What do you mean,
you don't know?
1752
01:14:07,083 --> 01:14:10,119
You can't just lie
about something like that.
1753
01:14:10,152 --> 01:14:12,256
You just walk away?
1754
01:14:12,289 --> 01:14:15,891
You just told America that
you're from "Deer-lake-en"?
1755
01:14:15,925 --> 01:14:18,362
That's not even
how you pronounce it!
1756
01:14:18,395 --> 01:14:21,831
"Deer-lake-en," my ass.
1757
01:14:21,864 --> 01:14:23,933
Oh, my God.
1758
01:14:23,966 --> 01:14:26,336
She's a fucking genius!
1759
01:14:26,370 --> 01:14:28,170
Oh!
1760
01:14:28,205 --> 01:14:30,374
Oh, my God, I hate her so much.
1761
01:14:30,407 --> 01:14:32,108
I hate her. I hate her.
1762
01:14:32,141 --> 01:14:34,877
She said it,
and now it's the truth.
1763
01:14:34,910 --> 01:14:37,880
(sighing):
Fuck me.
1764
01:14:37,913 --> 01:14:39,216
- (indistinct chatter)
- (music playing)
1765
01:14:39,249 --> 01:14:40,883
WAITRESS:
Another round, guys?
1766
01:14:40,916 --> 01:14:42,219
Okay.
1767
01:14:44,053 --> 01:14:46,256
FAITH: Goddamn it.
You're killing me.
1768
01:14:46,290 --> 01:14:47,890
KURT:
That's good. Yeah.
1769
01:14:47,923 --> 01:14:50,126
(indistinct chatter continues)
1770
01:14:50,159 --> 01:14:51,861
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
1771
01:14:51,894 --> 01:14:52,995
GARY:
Hey, Mikes!
1772
01:14:53,029 --> 01:14:55,064
How you doing, guys?
1773
01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,236
Hello, everybody.
1774
01:14:59,269 --> 01:15:01,305
- KURT: Hey, big guy.
- DIANA: Hey, Gary. Um...
1775
01:15:01,338 --> 01:15:03,906
- Burger and a Bud.
- Oh, thank you very much.
1776
01:15:03,939 --> 01:15:05,908
You know, that looks great.
Uh, can I have one of those?
1777
01:15:05,941 --> 01:15:07,176
No.
1778
01:15:07,210 --> 01:15:09,313
GARY: What you guys doing?
Looking at some ads?
1779
01:15:09,346 --> 01:15:11,147
DIANA: Yeah, they're just
taking me through it.
1780
01:15:11,180 --> 01:15:13,082
Bio. Very nice.
1781
01:15:13,115 --> 01:15:15,184
Education. That's important.
1782
01:15:15,218 --> 01:15:17,853
Hey, are we sure that we want
to be doing this here
1783
01:15:17,887 --> 01:15:19,922
and not in Faith's room
or the mayor's office?
1784
01:15:19,955 --> 01:15:23,025
Because right now I'm not sure
that our opposition knows
1785
01:15:23,059 --> 01:15:24,927
exactly what we're about to do.
1786
01:15:24,960 --> 01:15:26,630
And that seems unfair.
No, no, no, no, no.
1787
01:15:26,663 --> 01:15:28,197
Don't put 'em away
on my account.
1788
01:15:28,231 --> 01:15:30,434
Why don't we got one of
those overhead projectors
1789
01:15:30,467 --> 01:15:31,768
- that you have at a bowling alley?
- Stop.
1790
01:15:31,802 --> 01:15:33,936
- Kurt, you don't have to leave.
- So everybody here can see it.
1791
01:15:33,969 --> 01:15:34,970
Wouldn't that be good?
1792
01:15:35,004 --> 01:15:36,172
Kurt, come on.
1793
01:15:38,040 --> 01:15:39,141
Mmm!
1794
01:15:39,175 --> 01:15:40,876
Why do you talk
to them like that?
1795
01:15:40,910 --> 01:15:41,944
Like what?
1796
01:15:41,977 --> 01:15:43,112
Like that.
Like they're idiots.
1797
01:15:43,145 --> 01:15:44,980
(inhales sharply)
Well...
1798
01:15:45,014 --> 01:15:46,048
(chuckles)
1799
01:15:46,082 --> 01:15:48,084
Listen.
1800
01:15:48,117 --> 01:15:49,319
(sighs)
1801
01:15:49,353 --> 01:15:51,254
I saw some polls.
1802
01:15:51,288 --> 01:15:53,022
If we don't
figure this out soon,
1803
01:15:53,055 --> 01:15:54,458
there's no way
we're gonna beat her.
1804
01:15:54,491 --> 01:15:57,227
- Our demographics are so...
- "Her"?
1805
01:15:57,260 --> 01:16:00,230
- Who?
- Her.
1806
01:16:00,263 --> 01:16:02,898
DIANA: I mean, you said,
if we don't figure it out soon,
1807
01:16:02,932 --> 01:16:04,401
we're not gonna be able
to beat her.
1808
01:16:04,434 --> 01:16:06,370
We're not gonna beat
her candidate, Braun.
1809
01:16:06,403 --> 01:16:08,037
Mayor Braun.
1810
01:16:08,070 --> 01:16:10,240
Herr... Herr Braun.
1811
01:16:10,273 --> 01:16:11,941
Herr, her. Same thing.
1812
01:16:11,974 --> 01:16:13,210
DIANA:
Mm-hmm.
1813
01:16:13,243 --> 01:16:15,978
Look, Gary, I don't, um,
really understand
1814
01:16:16,011 --> 01:16:17,414
how you guys do things in D.C.,
1815
01:16:17,447 --> 01:16:19,216
but if you're gonna work
for my father,
1816
01:16:19,249 --> 01:16:20,517
you need to treat people
with respect.
1817
01:16:20,550 --> 01:16:22,386
- With. With.
- What?
1818
01:16:22,419 --> 01:16:24,254
Work with your father, not for.
1819
01:16:24,287 --> 01:16:27,089
You said "for."
It's a semantic thing, but...
1820
01:16:27,123 --> 01:16:30,025
it's... you know,
it's an important distinction.
1821
01:16:34,096 --> 01:16:36,299
Just so you know,
1822
01:16:36,333 --> 01:16:38,402
they don't actually serve
hamburgers and Budweiser here,
1823
01:16:38,435 --> 01:16:40,404
'cause it's a hofbrau house,
so they would serve
1824
01:16:40,437 --> 01:16:42,104
German food and German beers.
1825
01:16:42,138 --> 01:16:43,440
They've been patronizing you.
1826
01:16:49,746 --> 01:16:53,216
Just so you know, I don't even
like hamburgers or Budweiser,
1827
01:16:53,250 --> 01:16:54,718
so I've been
patronizing them...
1828
01:16:54,751 --> 01:16:56,286
- the whole time.
- Okay. Ah.
1829
01:16:56,319 --> 01:16:57,521
Did a little switcheroo.
1830
01:16:57,554 --> 01:17:00,424
Oh, and just so you know,
congratulations.
1831
01:17:00,457 --> 01:17:02,925
Our campaign made the paper.
1832
01:17:05,228 --> 01:17:06,396
(sighs):
Oh, God.
1833
01:17:09,566 --> 01:17:12,134
(takes deep breath)
1834
01:17:13,537 --> 01:17:15,572
She's so pretty.
1835
01:17:15,605 --> 01:17:18,275
I bet she smells
like Pop-Tarts.
1836
01:17:22,612 --> 01:17:25,181
Is he still looking?
(laughs)
1837
01:17:25,215 --> 01:17:26,483
NEWSWOMAN:
Now, Colonel Jack Hastings.
1838
01:17:26,516 --> 01:17:28,251
- NEWSMAN: Mm-hmm. Absolutely.
- Military man.
1839
01:17:28,285 --> 01:17:30,186
- From the heartland.
- Yep.
1840
01:17:30,220 --> 01:17:31,488
- No greater place in America.
- (chuckling)
1841
01:17:31,521 --> 01:17:33,122
- No, no.
- Am I right?
1842
01:17:33,155 --> 01:17:36,226
- Nope.
- He is now part of the loony left.
1843
01:17:36,259 --> 01:17:39,094
No, not just the loony left.
He's not just a Democrat.
1844
01:17:39,128 --> 01:17:40,597
- No.
- He has joined the...
1845
01:17:40,630 --> 01:17:42,532
- Squad.
- Socialism. - Mm-hmm.
1846
01:17:42,566 --> 01:17:44,201
Socialism. Hmm.
1847
01:17:44,234 --> 01:17:46,269
Do you think
it hurts our military
1848
01:17:46,303 --> 01:17:49,573
to have one of their own
throw in with the Democrats?
1849
01:17:51,241 --> 01:17:54,344
I know that if I had served,
1850
01:17:54,377 --> 01:17:56,413
I wouldn't like it.
1851
01:17:56,446 --> 01:17:59,416
Mm. Yeah.
1852
01:17:59,449 --> 01:18:03,152
FAITH (from other room):
Wow, that was a harsh segment.
1853
01:18:03,185 --> 01:18:05,154
- Cutting but fair.
- (sighs)
1854
01:18:05,187 --> 01:18:08,123
It's like I wrote it myself
last night and sent it to them
1855
01:18:08,157 --> 01:18:11,026
and they read it verbatim
like a scene.
1856
01:18:11,060 --> 01:18:13,128
Go to bed.
1857
01:18:13,162 --> 01:18:14,297
GARY:
What is this?
1858
01:18:14,331 --> 01:18:15,365
What am I looking at?
1859
01:18:15,398 --> 01:18:16,800
KURT:
Those are the...
1860
01:18:16,833 --> 01:18:18,568
Why are we being outspent
three-to-one?
1861
01:18:18,602 --> 01:18:20,237
And how do white women
not realize
1862
01:18:20,270 --> 01:18:21,505
they're backing
the wrong horse?
1863
01:18:21,538 --> 01:18:23,072
These numbers
aren't solidified.
1864
01:18:23,105 --> 01:18:24,508
Yeah, well, you got to
make it happen,
1865
01:18:24,541 --> 01:18:27,544
or you got to find me
some more fucking Hispanics.
1866
01:18:27,577 --> 01:18:29,513
Where are my
fucking Hispanics?!
1867
01:18:29,546 --> 01:18:33,450
- I need some more fucking Hispanics, Kurt!
- (snapping)
1868
01:18:40,524 --> 01:18:42,526
Hey, everybody.
1869
01:18:42,559 --> 01:18:44,261
Listen.
1870
01:18:44,294 --> 01:18:46,128
I am profoundly disappointed
1871
01:18:46,161 --> 01:18:48,665
in the comments
that I just made.
1872
01:18:48,698 --> 01:18:52,269
My words and/or actions
1873
01:18:52,302 --> 01:18:55,539
do not represent
who I am as a person and...
1874
01:18:55,572 --> 01:18:57,641
- Teachable moment.
- It is a teachable moment.
1875
01:18:57,674 --> 01:19:01,110
It's something I think
we can all learn from.
1876
01:19:01,143 --> 01:19:02,312
And in that way, I feel like
1877
01:19:02,345 --> 01:19:03,480
- I have given you a gift.
- (phone ringing)
1878
01:19:03,513 --> 01:19:05,849
- (quietly): You have my heart.
- And from this moment on,
1879
01:19:05,882 --> 01:19:07,417
I vow to make this office
1880
01:19:07,450 --> 01:19:11,588
a color- and gender-neutral
work environment.
1881
01:19:11,621 --> 01:19:13,857
- (phone continues ringing)
- That is my...
1882
01:19:13,890 --> 01:19:16,259
- Are you gonna get that?
- (phone clicks, ringing stops)
1883
01:19:16,293 --> 01:19:18,395
Ringing off the fucking hook.
1884
01:19:18,428 --> 01:19:20,129
TINA (over phone):
A hundred percent.
1885
01:19:20,162 --> 01:19:21,431
GARY:
What do you mean, you're sure?
1886
01:19:21,464 --> 01:19:23,165
TINA:
I'm sure.
1887
01:19:23,198 --> 01:19:25,167
GARY: You're sure,
or you're just pretty sure?
1888
01:19:25,201 --> 01:19:26,570
- TINA: 100% sure.
- GARY: Okay.
1889
01:19:26,603 --> 01:19:30,139
Okay, Tina. Better not be
another nun situation.
1890
01:19:30,172 --> 01:19:31,608
TINA:
It's not.
1891
01:19:31,641 --> 01:19:33,543
GARY:
Hey. Is your dad here?
1892
01:19:33,577 --> 01:19:35,211
Yeah. Dad!
1893
01:19:35,245 --> 01:19:37,581
- JACK: Yeah?
- Come on in, Colonel.
1894
01:19:41,284 --> 01:19:44,487
So, um, we can't win.
1895
01:19:47,223 --> 01:19:51,461
The people in this town
are pretty set in their ways.
1896
01:19:51,494 --> 01:19:53,330
And we lost the eight nuns.
1897
01:19:53,363 --> 01:19:54,497
That wasn't good.
1898
01:19:54,531 --> 01:19:57,601
So, we can't win.
1899
01:19:59,269 --> 01:20:03,340
Uh... y-you know,
we appreciate all you done.
1900
01:20:03,373 --> 01:20:06,476
I mean, the campaign and, uh...
1901
01:20:06,509 --> 01:20:09,646
I'm just sorry
we let you down, but...
1902
01:20:09,679 --> 01:20:13,350
well, all I can say
is thank you.
1903
01:20:13,383 --> 01:20:15,619
Really, Gary,
thank you for everything.
1904
01:20:15,652 --> 01:20:17,220
It was a hell of a ride.
1905
01:20:17,253 --> 01:20:20,223
- (both laughing)
- GARY: Are you shitting me?
1906
01:20:20,256 --> 01:20:22,459
All I have to say is
we can't win,
1907
01:20:22,492 --> 01:20:24,661
and you're-you're through,
you're out.
1908
01:20:24,694 --> 01:20:26,529
- You said we can't win.
- Unless.
1909
01:20:26,563 --> 01:20:28,632
We can't win unless...
1910
01:20:28,665 --> 01:20:30,367
You didn't let me finish.
1911
01:20:30,400 --> 01:20:33,937
We can't win unless
it turns out that this town
1912
01:20:33,970 --> 01:20:36,539
isn't the Mayberry
everybody thinks it is.
1913
01:20:36,573 --> 01:20:38,375
I just got a little piece
of intel
1914
01:20:38,408 --> 01:20:39,776
that's kind of intriguing.
1915
01:20:39,809 --> 01:20:44,414
So, the mayor's brother Ziggy,
he had an Oxy problem.
1916
01:20:44,447 --> 01:20:47,550
Well, he was a roofer
and got hurt on the job.
1917
01:20:47,584 --> 01:20:49,386
Yes, well,
what you might not know
1918
01:20:49,419 --> 01:20:52,489
is that the mayor
pulled some strings,
1919
01:20:52,522 --> 01:20:55,458
kept him out of jail,
got him into rehab.
1920
01:20:55,492 --> 01:20:57,327
That is abuse of power,
nepotism.
1921
01:20:57,360 --> 01:20:59,596
- Probably some clerical shit in there.
- (laughs): Come on.
1922
01:20:59,629 --> 01:21:01,364
Gary.
1923
01:21:01,398 --> 01:21:03,233
But we're the good guys, right?
1924
01:21:03,266 --> 01:21:05,435
Yeah, we're the good guys.
1925
01:21:05,468 --> 01:21:07,671
When they go low...
1926
01:21:07,704 --> 01:21:09,506
We go high.
1927
01:21:09,539 --> 01:21:12,275
Unless we also need to go low,
apparently. (chuckles)
1928
01:21:12,308 --> 01:21:14,978
Only to keep those who
would go lower out of power.
1929
01:21:15,011 --> 01:21:17,480
So, when they go low,
we go higher,
1930
01:21:17,514 --> 01:21:19,582
incrementally, in relation
to how low they went.
1931
01:21:19,616 --> 01:21:21,651
Regrettably, yes.
1932
01:21:21,685 --> 01:21:24,254
When they go low,
we go almost as low,
1933
01:21:24,287 --> 01:21:25,655
but we feel worse doing it.
1934
01:21:25,689 --> 01:21:27,490
You think they thought twice
about making your dad
1935
01:21:27,524 --> 01:21:29,726
look like a PTS nutcase?
1936
01:21:29,759 --> 01:21:31,428
And I'm going low because
1937
01:21:31,461 --> 01:21:33,263
I'm gonna tell the truth
about the mayor?
1938
01:21:33,296 --> 01:21:35,298
His brother's fragile, Gary.
1939
01:21:35,331 --> 01:21:36,566
This town is fragile.
1940
01:21:36,599 --> 01:21:38,768
The whole area is fragile.
Our democracy.
1941
01:21:38,802 --> 01:21:41,671
(scoffs) Stop.
We're not doing it.
1942
01:21:41,705 --> 01:21:44,307
Okay?
People are gonna get hurt.
1943
01:21:44,340 --> 01:21:45,842
I'm sorry... I really am...
1944
01:21:45,875 --> 01:21:49,312
but sometimes good people
have to do shitty things
1945
01:21:49,345 --> 01:21:51,481
in service of the greater good.
1946
01:21:51,514 --> 01:21:53,349
Isn't that right, Colonel?
1947
01:21:59,656 --> 01:22:01,624
- (door opens)
- DIANA: Hey.
1948
01:22:05,361 --> 01:22:06,463
Hey.
1949
01:22:06,496 --> 01:22:08,331
Yeah?
1950
01:22:08,364 --> 01:22:10,400
- Gary, stop.
- (Gary sighs)
1951
01:22:11,634 --> 01:22:13,603
(scoffs):
What?
1952
01:22:13,636 --> 01:22:16,272
Is this politics?
1953
01:22:16,306 --> 01:22:18,475
It's not politics anymore,
Diana.
1954
01:22:18,508 --> 01:22:20,477
It's... it's math.
1955
01:22:20,510 --> 01:22:21,745
That's what an election is.
1956
01:22:21,778 --> 01:22:23,346
It's just math.
1957
01:22:23,379 --> 01:22:25,749
We need what they get plus one.
1958
01:22:25,782 --> 01:22:27,617
That's all.
1959
01:22:27,650 --> 01:22:29,552
And if I can't get that
1960
01:22:29,586 --> 01:22:31,654
by getting more people
to vote for your dad,
1961
01:22:31,688 --> 01:22:35,492
then I have to get fewer people
to vote for Braun.
1962
01:22:35,525 --> 01:22:36,793
(Gary sighing softly)
1963
01:22:40,830 --> 01:22:42,866
♪ ♪
1964
01:22:47,871 --> 01:22:51,574
(vehicle unlocks, door opens)
1965
01:22:51,608 --> 01:22:53,810
- (door closes)
- (knocking)
1966
01:22:55,545 --> 01:22:57,514
(footsteps approaching)
1967
01:23:00,884 --> 01:23:02,886
(sighs) Hi.
1968
01:23:04,487 --> 01:23:06,790
- Come on in.
- Thank you.
1969
01:23:06,823 --> 01:23:08,625
I'm so sorry.
1970
01:23:11,628 --> 01:23:14,664
I... I'm pulling the plug.
1971
01:23:14,697 --> 01:23:17,333
- Hey, hey.
- I mean, we have the money we need.
1972
01:23:17,367 --> 01:23:18,868
We have more than
we would need.
1973
01:23:18,902 --> 01:23:21,871
And this would...
destroy your brother.
1974
01:23:23,373 --> 01:23:26,509
- And I'm just so sorry.
- Hey.
1975
01:23:27,744 --> 01:23:30,880
You have nothing
to be sorry for.
1976
01:23:31,948 --> 01:23:34,784
You saved us, Diana.
1977
01:23:34,818 --> 01:23:37,687
- Mm-hmm.
- This place was done.
1978
01:23:37,720 --> 01:23:41,357
Just another town in the middle
of nowhere, going nowhere.
1979
01:23:41,391 --> 01:23:45,495
And everyone agreed...
yours was the best idea we had.
1980
01:23:45,528 --> 01:23:48,364
Unless you want to go back
to the two Mikes' idea of...
1981
01:23:48,398 --> 01:23:50,600
(chuckling):
ostrich meat farms.
1982
01:23:51,835 --> 01:23:54,537
Diana, you moving back here,
1983
01:23:54,571 --> 01:23:56,506
caring so much...
1984
01:23:56,539 --> 01:23:58,842
I mean, this whole thing...
1985
01:23:58,875 --> 01:24:00,543
(Braun sighs)
1986
01:24:00,577 --> 01:24:04,848
Well, I just know
how proud of you your dad is
1987
01:24:04,881 --> 01:24:07,383
and how proud
your mom would be.
1988
01:24:09,419 --> 01:24:13,723
And how grateful
every single one of us are
1989
01:24:13,756 --> 01:24:16,626
for what you've done
and everything you've given.
1990
01:24:18,461 --> 01:24:20,463
It's working.
1991
01:24:25,568 --> 01:24:27,570
(sighs):
Okay.
1992
01:24:31,708 --> 01:24:33,843
What do we do about Gary?
1993
01:24:34,878 --> 01:24:37,947
Whatever Gary thinks he's got,
1994
01:24:37,981 --> 01:24:40,550
why don't we just give him
something better?
1995
01:24:42,719 --> 01:24:44,988
♪ ♪
1996
01:24:47,957 --> 01:24:49,692
(sighs)
1997
01:24:49,726 --> 01:24:51,728
(footsteps in hallway)
1998
01:25:04,574 --> 01:25:05,875
Hmm.
1999
01:25:05,909 --> 01:25:07,176
GARY:
No, forget the rehab thing.
2000
01:25:07,211 --> 01:25:09,946
This is bigger. Obviously, you
can't use my name, so just...
2001
01:25:09,979 --> 01:25:12,216
"Senior official
with inside knowledge
2002
01:25:12,249 --> 01:25:13,783
of campaign strategy."
2003
01:25:13,816 --> 01:25:15,518
Yes, you are welcome.
2004
01:25:15,551 --> 01:25:16,686
KURT:
Tell me they're running it.
2005
01:25:16,719 --> 01:25:18,054
- They are running it.
- Oh, yeah, baby!
2006
01:25:18,087 --> 01:25:19,989
- Shit's gonna hit the fan.
- Oh, it feels good.
2007
01:25:20,023 --> 01:25:21,991
Now, the word of the day
is "disappointed."
2008
01:25:22,025 --> 01:25:24,661
We are not mad at the mayor.
We are not shocked.
2009
01:25:24,694 --> 01:25:26,663
- We're just disappointed.
- Yeah, I am disappointed.
2010
01:25:26,696 --> 01:25:28,598
- I'm disappointed, too.
- I mean, it's disappointing.
2011
01:25:28,631 --> 01:25:30,700
- It is. You know what, he's the mayor.
- He betrayed us.
2012
01:25:30,733 --> 01:25:32,468
GARY: He betrayed us,
and it's disappointing.
2013
01:25:32,502 --> 01:25:33,870
- KURT: I'm hurt.
- But I'm not mad.
2014
01:25:33,903 --> 01:25:35,939
- KURT: No, I'm just disappointed.
- Me, too.
2015
01:25:35,972 --> 01:25:37,607
Tonight, we have this picture
2016
01:25:37,640 --> 01:25:38,975
of the alleged
ten-year-old love child
2017
01:25:39,008 --> 01:25:41,544
of the Wisconsin mayor
and the girl's mother.
2018
01:25:41,577 --> 01:25:43,846
We've obscured the child's face
to protect her identity
2019
01:25:43,880 --> 01:25:45,048
but left enough clues
2020
01:25:45,081 --> 01:25:47,550
so that you can probably
figure it out.
2021
01:25:47,583 --> 01:25:49,552
NEWSWOMAN: To discuss this
important, late-breaking story,
2022
01:25:49,585 --> 01:25:51,487
we go to our panel
with a feature
2023
01:25:51,521 --> 01:25:55,625
you'll only see here on CNN:
the Duodecabox.
2024
01:25:55,658 --> 01:25:58,695
What do you think,
Phil, Diane, Liz, Carl,
2025
01:25:58,728 --> 01:26:00,863
Barbara and... let's say Craig?
2026
01:26:00,897 --> 01:26:02,932
(all talking at once)
2027
01:26:05,902 --> 01:26:07,870
(Faith grunts angrily)
2028
01:26:10,840 --> 01:26:12,709
Kaylee?
2029
01:26:12,742 --> 01:26:13,977
- Kaylee.
- Y-Yeah.
2030
01:26:14,010 --> 01:26:15,845
- Can you clean this up, please?
- Oh, sure.
2031
01:26:15,878 --> 01:26:18,014
It was an accident
with the sandwich. Thank you.
2032
01:26:21,584 --> 01:26:23,586
♪ ♪
2033
01:26:31,594 --> 01:26:33,563
(indistinct chatter)
2034
01:26:42,105 --> 01:26:43,773
Hey, man.
2035
01:26:43,806 --> 01:26:45,775
Can I talk to you
about white power?
2036
01:26:45,808 --> 01:26:47,777
(indistinct chatter)
2037
01:26:48,945 --> 01:26:50,613
MAN:
Yeah, guns save lives.
2038
01:26:50,646 --> 01:26:51,914
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.
2039
01:27:00,890 --> 01:27:02,592
It has been
a hard-fought campaign,
2040
01:27:02,625 --> 01:27:04,727
but now it's in the hands
of the voters.
2041
01:27:04,761 --> 01:27:06,963
And excuse me... there's
the Colonel right there.
2042
01:27:06,996 --> 01:27:08,164
- (Jack chuckling)
- Colonel, come on in.
2043
01:27:08,197 --> 01:27:09,632
- Diana.
- Hi. - Hi. Good morning.
2044
01:27:09,665 --> 01:27:10,700
Did you get some rest?
2045
01:27:10,733 --> 01:27:12,035
Yeah, we got a little bit.
2046
01:27:12,068 --> 01:27:13,770
- Excuse us, folks.
- Good morning. Good morning.
2047
01:27:13,803 --> 01:27:15,905
- Excuse us. Excuse us.
- (reporters clamoring)
2048
01:27:15,938 --> 01:27:17,341
BRAUN:
There he is.
2049
01:27:17,374 --> 01:27:18,875
- Billy. Hey.
- Colonel, good to see you, sir.
2050
01:27:18,908 --> 01:27:20,610
- How are you? How are you?
- Good to see you.
2051
01:27:20,643 --> 01:27:21,711
How about a picture?
2052
01:27:21,744 --> 01:27:23,046
- All righty.
- (chuckles)
2053
01:27:23,079 --> 01:27:24,580
FAITH:
Come on. Come on.
2054
01:27:24,614 --> 01:27:25,782
- Let's go. Let's go.
- Thank you.
2055
01:27:25,815 --> 01:27:27,683
Oh, make sure you get
this guy's I.D.
2056
01:27:27,717 --> 01:27:29,018
- (laughter)
- FAITH: Okay.
2057
01:27:29,052 --> 01:27:30,787
Billy, we're just talking
to Fox. Just Fox.
2058
01:27:30,820 --> 01:27:33,589
- JACK: Hello. Good morning.
- Good morning, Jack.
2059
01:27:33,623 --> 01:27:35,658
- Sign right there.
- Yeah. All right.
2060
01:27:35,691 --> 01:27:36,993
Your dad is really something.
2061
01:27:37,026 --> 01:27:38,661
- (chuckling): Yeah.
- He's done a great job.
2062
01:27:38,694 --> 01:27:39,896
- Yeah, yeah.
- JACK: Go over here?
2063
01:27:39,929 --> 01:27:41,664
So have you.
Thank you for everything.
2064
01:27:41,697 --> 01:27:42,832
- It's been...
- My pleasure.
2065
01:27:42,865 --> 01:27:44,100
- So...
- I was thinking, maybe later,
2066
01:27:44,133 --> 01:27:46,035
if you want to watch
the returns come in?
2067
01:27:46,069 --> 01:27:48,171
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'd love to.
2068
01:27:49,806 --> 01:27:51,974
Oh. Oh, shoot.
2069
01:27:52,008 --> 01:27:54,177
You know what? I have to
head back to the farm,
2070
01:27:54,211 --> 01:27:55,845
- but I'll see you later, okay?
- Okay.
2071
01:27:55,878 --> 01:27:57,680
Okay.
2072
01:27:57,713 --> 01:27:59,782
Diana, aren't you gonna vote?
2073
01:28:06,789 --> 01:28:08,124
GARY:
Nothing?
2074
01:28:08,157 --> 01:28:10,193
- No early returns?
- MAN: Nothing.
2075
01:28:10,227 --> 01:28:12,695
- What about exit polling?
- No exit polling.
2076
01:28:12,728 --> 01:28:14,030
Well, is there
another precinct?
2077
01:28:14,063 --> 01:28:15,131
No.
2078
01:28:15,164 --> 01:28:16,732
Well, where else can they vote?
2079
01:28:16,766 --> 01:28:17,967
Well, they can't vote
anywhere else.
2080
01:28:18,000 --> 01:28:19,403
Was it all early voting?
2081
01:28:19,436 --> 01:28:21,205
No early voting, no.
Nothing.
2082
01:28:21,238 --> 01:28:23,106
What do you mean,
nobody has voted yet?
2083
01:28:23,139 --> 01:28:24,707
Uh, big guy.
2084
01:28:24,740 --> 01:28:25,942
You're gonna want to see this.
2085
01:28:25,975 --> 01:28:27,143
...smear Mayor Braun
with the falsehood
2086
01:28:27,176 --> 01:28:28,778
of an illegitimate child.
2087
01:28:28,811 --> 01:28:30,847
Which, as the report
you just read stated,
2088
01:28:30,880 --> 01:28:32,949
is actually the man's
dear niece.
2089
01:28:32,982 --> 01:28:35,118
Has the Hastings campaign
apologized?
2090
01:28:35,151 --> 01:28:37,153
FAITH: Uh, no, they haven't,
and it-it's too late for that.
2091
01:28:37,186 --> 01:28:38,988
- GARY: Oh, fuck!
- Mayor Braun continues to
2092
01:28:39,021 --> 01:28:40,723
focus on the issues.
2093
01:28:40,756 --> 01:28:41,991
And quite frankly, Brooke,
2094
01:28:42,024 --> 01:28:43,993
the media owes the mayor
an apology, as well,
2095
01:28:44,026 --> 01:28:46,430
for credulously covering
a poorly sourced story.
2096
01:28:46,463 --> 01:28:48,164
Faith! Congratulations.
Well done.
2097
01:28:48,197 --> 01:28:50,166
- What the fuck are you doing?
- A new low.
2098
01:28:50,199 --> 01:28:51,968
Oh, yeah, like I leaked
a cocked-up story
2099
01:28:52,001 --> 01:28:53,736
about a bastard child
who happens to be
2100
01:28:53,769 --> 01:28:55,004
the man's fucking niece.
2101
01:28:55,037 --> 01:28:56,273
- Please, Gary.
- You fed me that bullshit.
2102
01:28:56,306 --> 01:28:57,773
You know, go fuck yourself.
2103
01:28:57,807 --> 01:28:59,041
- You go fuck yourself.
- You go fuck your...
2104
01:28:59,075 --> 01:29:00,143
BROOKE (chuckling):
Okay, you two.
2105
01:29:00,176 --> 01:29:02,011
Unfortunately, we're gonna
have to leave it there.
2106
01:29:02,044 --> 01:29:03,679
Thank you so much, Brooke.
2107
01:29:03,713 --> 01:29:04,847
- Thank you so much.
- Thanks, Brooke.
2108
01:29:04,881 --> 01:29:05,915
- Thank you.
- CAMERAMAN: We're clear.
2109
01:29:05,948 --> 01:29:08,050
Why would I leak this? Huh?
2110
01:29:08,084 --> 01:29:09,886
Oh, to just make me
take the bait.
2111
01:29:09,919 --> 01:29:11,255
You didn't just want to win.
2112
01:29:11,288 --> 01:29:13,156
You wanted to castrate me,
didn't you?
2113
01:29:13,189 --> 01:29:14,891
If I wanted to cut
your dick off,
2114
01:29:14,924 --> 01:29:16,293
I would have done it
in front of you
2115
01:29:16,326 --> 01:29:19,162
just to see the last look
of horror in your eyes.
2116
01:29:20,196 --> 01:29:21,864
You're telling the truth.
2117
01:29:21,898 --> 01:29:23,300
No shit.
2118
01:29:23,333 --> 01:29:25,168
What the fuck is going on here?
2119
01:29:25,202 --> 01:29:26,769
BECCA:
Evan?
2120
01:29:26,802 --> 01:29:28,004
What...
2121
01:29:28,037 --> 01:29:29,105
Evan.
2122
01:29:29,138 --> 01:29:30,039
(laughing):
Evan, oh, my God.
2123
01:29:30,072 --> 01:29:31,774
- What's up, Becca?
- How the hell are you?
2124
01:29:31,807 --> 01:29:33,142
- Hiya. Nice to see you.
- Good to see you.
2125
01:29:33,176 --> 01:29:35,178
- How's everything?
- Yeah, I mean, it's going.
2126
01:29:35,212 --> 01:29:37,214
What the hell?
2127
01:29:37,247 --> 01:29:39,182
How the hell does he know her?
2128
01:29:39,216 --> 01:29:40,917
Is he from here?
2129
01:29:40,950 --> 01:29:43,953
Gary, look at his shoes.
I mean, really.
2130
01:29:43,986 --> 01:29:45,988
And we have Alan to thank
for bringing this man
2131
01:29:46,022 --> 01:29:47,257
- to our attention.
- It's Evan.
2132
01:29:47,291 --> 01:29:48,891
Did I happen to mention that...
2133
01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:51,093
Holy shit.
2134
01:29:51,127 --> 01:29:53,497
- What? What?
- Come on!
2135
01:29:53,530 --> 01:29:57,967
ALDERMAN: So, with 100%
of the vote counted,
2136
01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:01,305
the mayoral race is tied.
2137
01:30:01,338 --> 01:30:03,739
- (laughter)
- One vote to one vote.
2138
01:30:03,773 --> 01:30:05,074
(cheering)
2139
01:30:05,107 --> 01:30:06,343
GARY:
No.
2140
01:30:06,376 --> 01:30:08,911
Okay, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
2141
01:30:08,945 --> 01:30:11,113
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
2142
01:30:11,147 --> 01:30:13,015
Hold on. I, uh...
2143
01:30:13,049 --> 01:30:15,252
I don't...
I don't know exactly
2144
01:30:15,285 --> 01:30:18,255
what's going on here,
but it's weird.
2145
01:30:18,288 --> 01:30:19,922
Could somebody please
explain to me
2146
01:30:19,956 --> 01:30:21,525
- what's happening?
- Well, we had an election.
2147
01:30:21,558 --> 01:30:23,893
- Yes, I know that.
- And we gave it our best.
2148
01:30:23,926 --> 01:30:25,027
Just didn't work out.
2149
01:30:25,061 --> 01:30:26,363
Didn't work out, Jack?
Come on.
2150
01:30:26,396 --> 01:30:28,831
Do you know how much money
we invested in this?
2151
01:30:28,864 --> 01:30:30,766
Yeah, if the news media
is to be believed,
2152
01:30:30,800 --> 01:30:34,538
more than $45 million was
raised between the two of you.
2153
01:30:34,571 --> 01:30:36,138
- (laughing)
- (cheering, applause)
2154
01:30:40,244 --> 01:30:42,812
(laughing)
2155
01:30:42,845 --> 01:30:45,915
Oh, shit.
2156
01:30:45,948 --> 01:30:47,917
Did you sucker me, Jack?
2157
01:30:47,950 --> 01:30:49,986
I guess.
2158
01:30:50,019 --> 01:30:51,988
GARY:
You know what? Folks, sorry,
2159
01:30:52,021 --> 01:30:53,257
but I'm getting
all that money back.
2160
01:30:53,290 --> 01:30:54,291
From where?
2161
01:30:54,324 --> 01:30:56,892
We put millions
into those PACs.
2162
01:30:56,926 --> 01:30:58,828
Well, campaign finance law says
2163
01:30:58,861 --> 01:31:00,997
that money needn't be
accounted for.
2164
01:31:01,030 --> 01:31:03,099
- (laughter, applause)
- Oh, my God.
2165
01:31:03,132 --> 01:31:05,134
I got to give it to this place.
2166
01:31:06,168 --> 01:31:08,170
Hey, Alan.
2167
01:31:08,205 --> 01:31:09,339
Uh, it's Evan.
2168
01:31:09,373 --> 01:31:10,840
Shit weasel.
2169
01:31:10,873 --> 01:31:12,576
You're from this town,
aren't you?
2170
01:31:12,609 --> 01:31:14,378
- Yeah.
- You set this whole thing up.
2171
01:31:14,411 --> 01:31:16,112
You set me up, huh?
2172
01:31:16,145 --> 01:31:18,981
You are so fired,
and you're going to jail!
2173
01:31:19,015 --> 01:31:20,149
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
2174
01:31:20,182 --> 01:31:21,951
It was me. I did it.
2175
01:31:21,984 --> 01:31:23,253
You?
2176
01:31:24,388 --> 01:31:26,055
(scoffs):
Wh...
2177
01:31:26,088 --> 01:31:27,291
Why?
2178
01:31:27,324 --> 01:31:29,359
You know...
2179
01:31:29,393 --> 01:31:32,329
(laughing): it was just
this weird idea I had
2180
01:31:32,362 --> 01:31:34,298
'cause the town needed money.
2181
01:31:34,331 --> 01:31:36,866
(chuckles)
So you...
2182
01:31:36,899 --> 01:31:38,201
Uh, shot the video,
2183
01:31:38,235 --> 01:31:41,305
and then had Evan
show it to you.
2184
01:31:41,338 --> 01:31:42,372
Uh, I...
2185
01:31:42,406 --> 01:31:45,174
We needed 750 grand
over three years
2186
01:31:45,208 --> 01:31:47,076
to keep the school
from closing down.
2187
01:31:47,109 --> 01:31:49,045
We blew way past that.
2188
01:31:49,078 --> 01:31:51,315
We got enough to buy back
the base, redevelop it.
2189
01:31:53,049 --> 01:31:56,386
And the speech,
the viral speech?
2190
01:31:56,420 --> 01:31:58,154
BRAUN:
Can I get a motion to vote?
2191
01:31:58,187 --> 01:31:59,323
JACK: Actually,
I'm here about that...
2192
01:31:59,356 --> 01:32:01,891
Fuck, what's the word?
Resolution.
2193
01:32:01,924 --> 01:32:04,193
- I'll get it.
- DIANA: Mike, do you want to help him and...
2194
01:32:04,227 --> 01:32:05,462
Yeah.
2195
01:32:05,495 --> 01:32:07,364
Just have it low enough.
2196
01:32:07,397 --> 01:32:09,131
BRAUN: Just leave enough room
for that road sign in there.
2197
01:32:09,165 --> 01:32:10,900
- Uh, am I supposed to have these on?
- DIANA: No glasses.
2198
01:32:10,933 --> 01:32:13,337
- I'm lost.
- (laughter)
2199
01:32:13,370 --> 01:32:14,937
DIANA (sighs):
Okay, Dad, that's good,
2200
01:32:14,970 --> 01:32:16,340
but you have to leave after.
2201
01:32:16,373 --> 01:32:17,139
All right, one more time.
2202
01:32:17,173 --> 01:32:19,975
I guess they weren't
principles.
2203
01:32:21,244 --> 01:32:23,347
They're just hobbies.
2204
01:32:30,420 --> 01:32:32,422
DIANA:
Holy shit, I think we got it.
2205
01:32:32,456 --> 01:32:34,857
- (laughter, cheering)
- Oh, thank God.
2206
01:32:40,497 --> 01:32:43,266
(cheering, whooping)
2207
01:32:46,936 --> 01:32:49,004
That was really just
baiting the hook.
2208
01:32:49,038 --> 01:32:51,375
You guys took it from there.
I was never expecting her.
2209
01:32:51,408 --> 01:32:53,377
Oh, I had a fucking blast.
2210
01:32:55,044 --> 01:32:57,012
So you used me.
2211
01:32:59,014 --> 01:33:00,484
We used you?
2212
01:33:00,517 --> 01:33:03,453
You guys only show up here
once every four years,
2213
01:33:03,487 --> 01:33:05,988
and only then
'cause it's a swing state.
2214
01:33:06,021 --> 01:33:08,392
And then, when it's over,
you're gone.
2215
01:33:08,425 --> 01:33:09,992
But we're still here
2216
01:33:10,025 --> 01:33:12,262
with all the same problems
we had before,
2217
01:33:12,295 --> 01:33:14,196
just waiting around
for you to come back
2218
01:33:14,231 --> 01:33:17,066
and make the same
empty promises as last time.
2219
01:33:18,100 --> 01:33:19,969
We used the system.
2220
01:33:20,002 --> 01:33:21,338
You make millions of dollars
2221
01:33:21,371 --> 01:33:23,105
funneling tens of millions
of dollars
2222
01:33:23,139 --> 01:33:27,244
into this election economy.
2223
01:33:27,277 --> 01:33:30,313
All we did is take a cut.
2224
01:33:31,981 --> 01:33:33,550
Hmm.
2225
01:33:33,583 --> 01:33:35,151
Well...
2226
01:33:35,184 --> 01:33:37,721
I guess I just...
2227
01:33:37,754 --> 01:33:42,426
I thought that maybe you and I
had a little something.
2228
01:33:42,459 --> 01:33:44,327
(chuckles softly)
2229
01:33:47,096 --> 01:33:50,032
(chuckling):
I'm 28. I mean...
2230
01:33:50,065 --> 01:33:53,969
In what world
would this be okay?
2231
01:33:56,138 --> 01:33:58,241
D.C. and L.A.,
parts of New York,
2232
01:33:58,275 --> 01:34:00,109
- Miami, maybe Dallas.
- Mm.
2233
01:34:00,142 --> 01:34:02,178
(chuckles)
2234
01:34:02,212 --> 01:34:04,214
Look...
2235
01:34:05,248 --> 01:34:07,517
- It wasn't personal.
- Mm.
2236
01:34:07,551 --> 01:34:09,286
It was math.
2237
01:34:09,319 --> 01:34:11,053
Math.
2238
01:34:12,222 --> 01:34:16,158
But this system,
the way we elect people,
2239
01:34:16,192 --> 01:34:18,160
it's terrifying.
2240
01:34:18,194 --> 01:34:20,196
And exhausting.
2241
01:34:20,230 --> 01:34:23,333
And I think it's
driving us all insane.
2242
01:34:26,503 --> 01:34:28,137
(chuckles)
2243
01:34:29,239 --> 01:34:31,541
♪ ♪
2244
01:34:31,575 --> 01:34:33,410
BIG MIKE: You know what
the real problem here
2245
01:34:33,443 --> 01:34:35,445
is that the media
is completely complicit
2246
01:34:35,479 --> 01:34:37,247
- in this sort of thing.
- Oh, I absolutely agree.
2247
01:34:37,280 --> 01:34:38,515
I mean, it's like
Neil Postman said...
2248
01:34:38,548 --> 01:34:40,115
in entertaining ourselves,
2249
01:34:40,149 --> 01:34:41,785
- news has become entertainment.
- Yeah. Yeah.
2250
01:34:41,818 --> 01:34:43,620
- And when that happens... (sputters) it's gone.
- Yeah.
2251
01:34:43,653 --> 01:34:45,355
I thought he knew.
I mean, I would get so nervous
2252
01:34:45,388 --> 01:34:47,224
- every time he would come in. I would just, like...
- Oh, no.
2253
01:34:47,257 --> 01:34:48,358
I couldn't get
my coffee order right,
2254
01:34:48,391 --> 01:34:49,593
and I was giving him
the wrong thing.
2255
01:34:49,626 --> 01:34:51,228
Oh, you were great.
You were perfect.
2256
01:34:51,261 --> 01:34:52,529
Plus, you know, he has,
you know,
2257
01:34:52,562 --> 01:34:54,297
dreamy eyes a little bit,
so, I mean...
2258
01:34:54,331 --> 01:34:55,632
- Yeah.
- He's-he's dashing.
2259
01:34:55,665 --> 01:34:58,100
He actually made me cry.
2260
01:34:58,133 --> 01:35:00,403
- He was, like, a shithead.
- Yeah.
2261
01:35:00,437 --> 01:35:02,305
It metastasizes,
so it-it's growing
2262
01:35:02,339 --> 01:35:03,540
- and-and whatever, so...
- Yeah.
2263
01:35:03,573 --> 01:35:05,208
Well, it becomes...
it's sort of like
2264
01:35:05,242 --> 01:35:06,376
any sort of
autoimmune disorder.
2265
01:35:06,409 --> 01:35:07,644
- Yeah.
- It's like... it's like lupus.
2266
01:35:07,677 --> 01:35:09,144
Know what I mean?
2267
01:35:09,178 --> 01:35:10,514
That's actually
a really great metaphor.
2268
01:35:10,547 --> 01:35:12,382
- That's... that's like...
- It's a simile.
2269
01:35:12,415 --> 01:35:14,049
- 'Cause you said...
- 'Cause I said...
2270
01:35:14,083 --> 01:35:15,519
- I said it's "like."
- You said it's "like."
2271
01:35:15,552 --> 01:35:17,152
Yeah, right.
It's like lupus.
2272
01:35:18,421 --> 01:35:21,258
What a clusterfuck.
2273
01:35:21,291 --> 01:35:23,293
Amen.
2274
01:35:27,497 --> 01:35:29,164
DIANA:
How we looking?
2275
01:35:29,198 --> 01:35:32,167
Well, they're saying
these, uh, back acres
2276
01:35:32,202 --> 01:35:35,472
are gonna become the over-55
community health center.
2277
01:35:35,505 --> 01:35:37,340
- Uh-huh.
- Madison has promised
2278
01:35:37,374 --> 01:35:39,141
a satellite campus
for the front.
2279
01:35:39,174 --> 01:35:41,278
Okay. And you know
that we have to redo
2280
01:35:41,311 --> 01:35:42,546
the septic on the back 50?
2281
01:35:42,579 --> 01:35:44,079
- We heard all about it.
- Okay.
2282
01:35:44,113 --> 01:35:45,147
Hey, you.
2283
01:35:45,180 --> 01:35:46,483
Oh, hey, you.
2284
01:35:46,516 --> 01:35:49,286
- (chuckling)
- She is something, huh?
2285
01:35:55,392 --> 01:35:57,360
DIANA:
Are you listening to me?
2286
01:36:00,162 --> 01:36:02,164
(Faith's voice):
Are you listening to me?
2287
01:36:03,400 --> 01:36:05,569
ANN:
Are you listening to me?
2288
01:36:05,602 --> 01:36:07,169
Oh, Gary, honey.
2289
01:36:07,203 --> 01:36:08,538
(sighs)
I'm just so excited.
2290
01:36:08,572 --> 01:36:10,607
I can't wait till we get
the café tables in.
2291
01:36:10,640 --> 01:36:14,578
I think people are really gonna
like those a lot, you know?
2292
01:36:14,611 --> 01:36:17,881
- And then we can put the umbrellas up.
- Mm-hmm.
2293
01:36:17,914 --> 01:36:20,617
And people can just sit outside
and have coffee and...
2294
01:36:20,650 --> 01:36:22,151
You know.
2295
01:36:22,184 --> 01:36:23,420
Are you...
are you listening to me?
2296
01:36:23,453 --> 01:36:25,622
- Mm-hmm, mm...
- Are you listening to me?
2297
01:36:25,655 --> 01:36:28,157
(Faith's voice):
Hey, fuckup. Hey, fuckup.
2298
01:36:28,190 --> 01:36:30,694
- Are you listening to me?
- GARY: Yes, yes, yes.
2299
01:36:30,727 --> 01:36:32,462
I'm listening to you.
2300
01:36:32,495 --> 01:36:35,197
You don't open a dossier
for less than $2 million.
2301
01:36:35,231 --> 01:36:37,601
I know. That's what I'm talking
to them about right now.
2302
01:36:37,634 --> 01:36:39,235
$2 million.
2303
01:36:39,269 --> 01:36:40,604
God, I hate you.
2304
01:36:40,637 --> 01:36:42,339
Ditto.
2305
01:36:42,372 --> 01:36:44,341
♪ ♪
2306
01:36:44,374 --> 01:36:46,309
MAN (over phone):
Gary?
2307
01:36:46,343 --> 01:36:48,511
Gary, you there?
2308
01:36:48,545 --> 01:36:50,547
Gary?
2309
01:36:50,580 --> 01:36:52,515
Yo, Gary.
2310
01:36:54,718 --> 01:36:56,185
Ah, cheers!
2311
01:36:56,219 --> 01:36:58,254
(excited chatter)
2312
01:37:02,459 --> 01:37:04,461
♪ ♪
2313
01:37:20,477 --> 01:37:22,712
Colonel Jack Hastings,
Deerlaken...
2314
01:37:22,746 --> 01:37:24,781
did the media fall
for a false narrative
2315
01:37:24,814 --> 01:37:27,283
just because it fit
into our preconceived notion
2316
01:37:27,317 --> 01:37:29,653
of the divide of this country
between red and blue
2317
01:37:29,686 --> 01:37:31,955
without actually
checking the facts?
2318
01:37:31,988 --> 01:37:34,224
Were we irresponsible?
2319
01:37:34,257 --> 01:37:35,392
Well, we're the news.
2320
01:37:35,425 --> 01:37:37,961
Are we not supposed to
cover the news?
2321
01:37:37,994 --> 01:37:39,963
I mean, these are
newsworthy stories.
2322
01:37:39,996 --> 01:37:42,465
We're absolutely in the right
to cover them.
2323
01:37:42,499 --> 01:37:46,269
It is literally our job
to cover the news.
2324
01:37:46,302 --> 01:37:47,470
But isn't there a way
to report the news
2325
01:37:47,504 --> 01:37:49,205
without so much speculation,
2326
01:37:49,239 --> 01:37:51,274
without a false sense
of urgency
2327
01:37:51,307 --> 01:37:53,977
that causes us to
breathlessly report "facts"
2328
01:37:54,010 --> 01:37:55,512
that maybe are not facts?
2329
01:37:55,545 --> 01:37:57,547
And are we framing
these stories
2330
01:37:57,580 --> 01:37:59,582
on an artificial
right-left axis
2331
01:37:59,616 --> 01:38:02,519
because that's how
our pundit economy is set up?
2332
01:38:02,552 --> 01:38:04,554
Is there a better way
to do this?
2333
01:38:10,260 --> 01:38:11,161
I'm just kidding.
2334
01:38:11,193 --> 01:38:12,762
Unfortunately,
we have to leave it there.
2335
01:38:12,796 --> 01:38:15,231
- Thank you all for watching.
- (laughing): She's...
2336
01:38:15,265 --> 01:38:16,733
MAN (laughing):
She's good.
2337
01:38:16,766 --> 01:38:19,803
("Mess Is Mine" by Vance Joy
playing)
2338
01:38:22,772 --> 01:38:25,408
♪ Talking like we used to do ♪
2339
01:38:26,743 --> 01:38:29,412
♪ It was always me and you ♪
2340
01:38:30,647 --> 01:38:34,551
♪ Hold on, darling ♪
2341
01:38:35,785 --> 01:38:38,321
♪ This body is yours ♪
2342
01:38:38,354 --> 01:38:42,425
♪ This body is yours and mine ♪
2343
01:38:43,693 --> 01:38:49,299
♪ Well, hold on, my darling ♪
2344
01:38:49,332 --> 01:38:51,801
♪ This mess was yours ♪
2345
01:38:53,436 --> 01:38:56,573
♪ Now your mess is mine ♪
2346
01:39:02,412 --> 01:39:05,849
♪ Ah-ooh ♪
2347
01:39:07,517 --> 01:39:10,420
♪ Your mess is mine ♪
2348
01:39:10,453 --> 01:39:12,622
♪ See you in
the marketplace... ♪
2349
01:39:12,655 --> 01:39:15,425
JON STEWART: Could something
like this happen?
2350
01:39:15,458 --> 01:39:19,562
Legally, this could
absolutely happen.
2351
01:39:19,596 --> 01:39:24,434
Somebody could create
a political organization...
2352
01:39:24,467 --> 01:39:28,471
so-called outside group,
a super PAC, 527...
2353
01:39:28,505 --> 01:39:31,374
raise an unlimited
amount of money,
2354
01:39:31,407 --> 01:39:34,577
and then choose
to give that money
2355
01:39:34,611 --> 01:39:37,514
to another organization,
a charity,
2356
01:39:37,547 --> 01:39:40,483
and use it for public purposes.
2357
01:39:40,517 --> 01:39:43,720
And you don't need
the donors' consent to do that.
2358
01:39:43,753 --> 01:39:45,789
The problem we have is that
2359
01:39:45,822 --> 01:39:49,526
none of the pieces of
the system are working today.
2360
01:39:49,559 --> 01:39:52,829
You have regulators like
the Federal Election Commission
2361
01:39:52,862 --> 01:39:54,764
that don't have a quorum,
can't meet,
2362
01:39:54,798 --> 01:39:57,667
and when they do, they disagree
on what the law is.
2363
01:39:57,700 --> 01:40:01,471
You have Congress deadlocked
so it can't rewrite the laws.
2364
01:40:01,504 --> 01:40:03,473
You have the Supreme Court
2365
01:40:03,506 --> 01:40:06,943
that thinks that
almost nothing is corrupt
2366
01:40:06,976 --> 01:40:11,548
and that citizens won't think
the sale of access...
2367
01:40:11,581 --> 01:40:13,817
what the court calls
ingratiation
2368
01:40:13,850 --> 01:40:18,588
in return for giving money
to candidates... is a problem.
2369
01:40:18,621 --> 01:40:21,424
STEWART: So, to sum up,
we currently have
2370
01:40:21,457 --> 01:40:22,826
hundreds of millions
to billions of dollars
2371
01:40:22,859 --> 01:40:25,428
that is, uh, uh, untraceable,
2372
01:40:25,461 --> 01:40:27,897
uh, that can pour into groups
2373
01:40:27,931 --> 01:40:30,900
that are actually coordinating
with-with candidates
2374
01:40:30,934 --> 01:40:33,870
who end up having to spend
a good amount of their time
2375
01:40:33,903 --> 01:40:35,839
raising more and more money
to keep up
2376
01:40:35,872 --> 01:40:38,808
with the arms race
that is occurring.
2377
01:40:38,842 --> 01:40:42,846
Uh, the money continues
to pour in and corrupt
2378
01:40:42,879 --> 01:40:45,582
not just where
they spend their time
2379
01:40:45,615 --> 01:40:48,718
and how they spend their time
but on the types of legislation
2380
01:40:48,751 --> 01:40:51,621
that they would even bring
to the fore.
2381
01:40:51,654 --> 01:40:54,591
And the one group
that would be charged
2382
01:40:54,624 --> 01:40:59,696
with regulating, uh,
this spigot, uh, doesn't meet
2383
01:40:59,729 --> 01:41:01,865
'cause there aren't
enough of them.
2384
01:41:01,898 --> 01:41:03,867
Yes.
2385
01:41:03,900 --> 01:41:06,970
(both laughing)
2386
01:41:07,003 --> 01:41:09,472
I realize that's not helpful
to you, but...
2387
01:41:09,505 --> 01:41:11,407
It is very helpful.
Thank you.
2388
01:41:11,441 --> 01:41:12,675
♪ Ooh ♪
2389
01:41:12,709 --> 01:41:15,545
♪ Your mess is mine ♪
2390
01:41:18,715 --> 01:41:20,884
♪ Your mess is mine. ♪
2391
01:41:20,917 --> 01:41:22,685
(song ends)
2392
01:41:22,719 --> 01:41:24,721
♪ ♪
2393
01:41:24,885 --> 01:41:29,885
2394
01:41:56,819 --> 01:41:58,821
(music ends)