0000 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:10,000 YoubetCash.net Agen Judi Online Aman & Terpercaya 000 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Bonus Cashback Bola 6% Bonus Rollingan 0,80% 00 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Welcome Bonus Rp 25.000 Extra Bonus Tambahan Withdraw Rp 2.000.000 0 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:25,000 CashBack Mix Parlay 100% Bonus Ajak teman 45,2% 1 00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:43,745 Look at me, mommy. 2 00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:45,245 I'm running, yeah! 3 00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:50,618 Woooo, yeah! 4 00:00:50,652 --> 00:00:53,086 I found my ball, mommy, yeah! 5 00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:56,490 Fuck this! 6 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,760 Mommy, get over here, yeah! 7 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:02,462 Oh, my goodness! 8 00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:03,330 Good job! 9 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,368 Oh, I'm so proud of you. 10 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,905 Throw it super far this time, mommy. 11 00:01:10,939 --> 00:01:11,839 Okay. 12 00:01:11,873 --> 00:01:14,308 I'm gonna lose this darn weight, yeah. 13 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,342 I know you are, honey. 14 00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:16,443 Okay, last one. 15 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:18,012 It might rain, okay. 16 00:01:18,046 --> 00:01:19,547 Okay, ready? 17 00:01:19,581 --> 00:01:21,649 Wait, it went that way. 18 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:47,508 Hi, mister. 19 00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:49,777 What's your name? 20 00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:54,348 Hey, why is your mouth so wet? 21 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:56,784 Oh, god! 22 00:01:56,818 --> 00:01:57,819 No! 23 00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:58,820 Oh, my god! 24 00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:00,722 He just ate my fucking leg! 25 00:02:00,755 --> 00:02:02,657 Oh, Honey Bear! 26 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,560 Why is it taking too long to die? 27 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:06,894 Honey Bear! 28 00:02:06,928 --> 00:02:07,795 Honey Bear! 29 00:02:07,829 --> 00:02:10,098 Oh, my Honey Bear! 30 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,065 Oh, my god! 31 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:12,967 Oh, no! 32 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:17,270 Oh, god! 33 00:02:49,971 --> 00:02:53,273 With us now is our Doggone News correspondent, 34 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,374 Zoey Spencer. 35 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,443 Zoey, what do you know? 36 00:02:56,476 --> 00:03:00,081 Well, the competition is refusing to roll over, Brett, 37 00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:02,116 and it's been a rough start 38 00:03:02,150 --> 00:03:04,052 for the highly favored Chester Pinscher. 39 00:03:04,085 --> 00:03:06,486 He's not keeping his knees up, Zoey. 40 00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:07,889 IF Chester keeps those knees up, 41 00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:09,389 he's best in show this year. 42 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,125 We'll be right back after this. 43 00:03:11,159 --> 00:03:12,627 Calloway dog treats. 44 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,227 Is this heaven? 45 00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:15,797 Oh, man. 46 00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:18,432 I would wreck that face. 47 00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,732 Well, you're all set Mrs. H. 48 00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:52,365 Oh, thanks, Matt. 49 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,434 I wish I can afford new shocks. 50 00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:55,803 Ah, don't sweat. 51 00:03:55,837 --> 00:03:57,171 I patched him up like new. 52 00:03:57,205 --> 00:04:01,274 Oh, you are such a lifesaver, as always. 53 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:04,545 And to thank you, I wish I could, 54 00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:08,516 I wish I could patch you up like new. 55 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:09,517 Oh, wow. 56 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,986 That's, that's, that's all right, Mrs. Higgins. 57 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:15,089 No, it was, it was, it was my pleasure. 58 00:04:15,123 --> 00:04:17,859 It sure could be your pleasure. 59 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,128 Boom. 60 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:24,364 Just saying... 61 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:30,403 Full disclosure, I like to hit. 62 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:38,880 What? 63 00:04:40,515 --> 00:04:41,783 Well, the course trot 64 00:04:41,816 --> 00:04:44,085 is where our front runner is struggling. 65 00:04:44,118 --> 00:04:47,088 Chester needs to raise those knees, Brett. 66 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,222 See? 67 00:04:48,256 --> 00:04:50,091 Knees up, ass out. 68 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:52,392 How many times did I tell you that growing up? 69 00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:53,761 Goddammit, dude. 70 00:04:55,196 --> 00:04:55,997 Hey, Matt. 71 00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:56,831 Check out my new baby. 72 00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:57,999 Whoa, is this it? 73 00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:58,833 Yeah. 74 00:04:58,866 --> 00:04:59,967 She's beautiful, man. 75 00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:01,068 Oh, thanks. 76 00:05:01,102 --> 00:05:04,806 6.4-liter engine, eight-speed transmission. 77 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,439 She'll bring in more than the '88 Corvette. 78 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,975 Oh, she better. 79 00:05:08,009 --> 00:05:11,045 I love the garage, man, but business is so slow. 80 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:14,048 It doesn't help that you give away free shocks, Matt. 81 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,382 I'm sorry, man. 82 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:16,217 She's an old lady. 83 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:17,450 I'll make it up to you. 84 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:20,221 You're a terrible businessman, but a promising mechanic. 85 00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:22,355 Hell, the best gear-head I've seen 86 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:25,259 in over 10 years in the yard. 87 00:05:25,293 --> 00:05:26,093 Thanks, man. 88 00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:27,195 That means a lot. 89 00:05:27,228 --> 00:05:29,030 That's the kind of talent you don't throw away. 90 00:05:29,063 --> 00:05:32,033 It's the kind you partner up with. 91 00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,768 Wait, are you saying what I think you're saying? 92 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:37,738 Yeah, running the garage, you and me as co-owners, 93 00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:38,873 turning this place around. 94 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,908 What do you think, Matt? 95 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,476 Let me think on it. 96 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:44,312 Okay. 97 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,681 Don't make me wait too long. 98 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:08,970 What's up, Brenda? 99 00:06:09,003 --> 00:06:09,804 Mike? 100 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,371 Yeah, no, no, this is Matt. 101 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:12,405 The mechanic? 102 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,008 Yes, yes the mechanic. 103 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,877 No, I was just calling to say how much, 104 00:06:15,910 --> 00:06:17,410 I had so much fun. 105 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,548 It was fun the other night, right? 106 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,583 Uh-huh. 107 00:06:22,617 --> 00:06:24,218 Sorry, I heard you say uh-huh 108 00:06:24,252 --> 00:06:26,120 but then I didn't hear you say anything else. 109 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:28,289 That's all I said. 110 00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:29,290 No, I got it. 111 00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:30,390 That's all you said. 112 00:06:30,423 --> 00:06:31,458 Okay, that's great. 113 00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:32,560 That's great. 114 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:38,299 Well, anyways, do you wanna go for like a hike sometime? 115 00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:40,301 I know you mentioned your weight. 116 00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,004 You were trying to lose some. 117 00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:44,205 Are you calling me fat? 118 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,940 No, I'm not saying you need to lose weight. 119 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:48,309 I just, you said you wanted to go on a diet. 120 00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:51,012 And anyways, no, hike's a bad idea. 121 00:06:51,045 --> 00:06:52,713 So, well, listen. 122 00:06:52,747 --> 00:06:55,249 You have a have a blessed day. 123 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:57,919 Okay. 124 00:06:57,952 --> 00:06:58,786 Bye, Mark. 125 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,221 All right, bye. 126 00:07:01,222 --> 00:07:03,024 God, I'm off my game. 127 00:07:03,057 --> 00:07:03,925 Your game? 128 00:07:03,958 --> 00:07:04,759 Brenda? 129 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,627 Oh, yeah, no, you're still there. 130 00:07:06,661 --> 00:07:07,929 That's, that's great. 131 00:07:07,962 --> 00:07:09,931 We should totally hang. 132 00:07:09,964 --> 00:07:11,732 Oh, Jesus Christ! 133 00:07:11,766 --> 00:07:13,935 Although Chester has yet to win 134 00:07:13,968 --> 00:07:17,138 his first blue ribbon, the Pinscher brothers 135 00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:20,808 have dominated dog show competitions for years. 136 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:21,809 That's right, Brett. 137 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,978 And as you know, Chester is following the path 138 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,514 of older brothers Brutus and Aurelius, 139 00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,382 all blue ribbon champions. 140 00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:31,018 A remarkable family. 141 00:07:31,052 --> 00:07:32,520 Well, and Brett, here is some trivia for you. 142 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,989 There's actually a fourth Pinscher brother, 143 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,625 but he was the runt of the litter 144 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,794 and he ran away at a young age. 145 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,494 Very fascinating, Zoey. 146 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:44,999 Well, I guess we can't all be superstars, can we? 147 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:46,000 Hmm. 148 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,402 In other news, another vicious coyote attack 149 00:07:48,436 --> 00:07:50,504 has shaken Los Angeles. 150 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:54,709 Incredibly, somehow, the latest victim survived. 151 00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:57,645 I may have had my legs taken from me. 152 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:58,478 But guess what. 153 00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,348 You don't love with your legs. 154 00:08:00,381 --> 00:08:02,183 You love with your heart. 155 00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:05,886 And I still have that, so I'm gonna be just fine. 156 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,722 Allan, let's do this, buddy! 157 00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:09,523 Yes! 158 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,225 It's showtime, baby! 159 00:08:13,194 --> 00:08:14,261 I missed you, buddy. 160 00:08:14,295 --> 00:08:17,164 I missed you, dude. 161 00:08:17,198 --> 00:08:18,933 So how was your date last night, amigo? 162 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,234 I didn't hear you come in. 163 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,803 Well, I guess it wasn't a date. 164 00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:23,637 When I dropped her off, 165 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,639 Brenda thanked me for the friend day. 166 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:26,874 What the hell is a friend day? 167 00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:27,908 Apparently, it's the combination 168 00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,177 of the words friend and day. 169 00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:31,012 Goddammit. 170 00:08:31,045 --> 00:08:32,179 She actually said that? 171 00:08:32,213 --> 00:08:33,247 Yeah. 172 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,716 It didn't exactly set the mood for our first kiss, 173 00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:38,185 so I just proceeded to give her the most awkward high five 174 00:08:38,219 --> 00:08:40,287 in the history of the world and left. 175 00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:41,589 Forget her, man. 176 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,258 We're focusing on our shit right now anyway. 177 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:45,893 You're not gonna be a grease monkey forever, yo. 178 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:46,727 Come on, Allan. 179 00:08:46,761 --> 00:08:48,229 I like working on cars though. 180 00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:51,365 Besides, we gotta eat, right? 181 00:08:51,399 --> 00:08:52,700 Wow. 182 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:55,736 Hey, Matt, what's the first thing you're gonna do 183 00:08:55,770 --> 00:08:57,805 when we're rich and famous? 184 00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,474 Well, life isn't all about cash and fame. 185 00:09:00,509 --> 00:09:02,743 I mean, sure, those are great things to think about. 186 00:09:02,777 --> 00:09:04,945 But being happy and having each other 187 00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,881 is more important than showbiz. 188 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,349 Exactly. 189 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:11,852 It's gonna be wall to wall sex for me too. 190 00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:12,686 Pah, pah. 191 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:13,687 Yeah, work those Ps. 192 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:17,291 Peter Pan pumped it up with the P. Diddy jams. 193 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,125 That's what he does. 194 00:09:18,159 --> 00:09:19,126 Yeah. 195 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,729 Peter Pan pumps it up with the P, Diddy jams. 196 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:22,563 You know what else? 197 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:23,764 What's that? 198 00:09:23,798 --> 00:09:26,834 P. Diddy and Peter Pan are doing pushups in Kazakhstan. 199 00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:27,668 Ooh, I like that. 200 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,538 Yeah, say it with me now. 201 00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,439 P. Diddy and Peter Pan 202 00:09:31,472 --> 00:09:34,041 are doing pushups in Kazakhstan. 203 00:09:34,075 --> 00:09:35,810 And we are ready. 204 00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,645 That was good. 205 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:38,712 Yeah, yeah. 206 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:39,548 All right. 207 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:40,381 All right, come on. 208 00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:41,215 All right. 209 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,049 Oh, wait, listen, Allan. 210 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:42,983 Uh-huh. 211 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:45,520 Before we go in there, 212 00:09:45,554 --> 00:09:48,355 look, if things go south in there, 213 00:09:48,389 --> 00:09:50,057 just take it easy, okay? 214 00:09:50,091 --> 00:09:51,225 We don't need another episode 215 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,393 - where you scream at the... - Oh, dude. 216 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,228 Not a chance, buddy, for real. 217 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:58,399 Got my emotions under control, like a eunuch. 218 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:12,947 What is this? 219 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,249 It's a river otter! 220 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,684 That sucks. 221 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,819 You're welcome! 222 00:10:18,853 --> 00:10:23,390 And so this big elephant gets super pissed at the zebra 223 00:10:23,424 --> 00:10:26,927 and says, "That was a terrible call, ref." 224 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,835 That was the punchline, kids. 225 00:10:34,869 --> 00:10:37,071 Don't lock the joy inside. 226 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,874 That was a terrible call, ref, 227 00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:40,975 like referee, 228 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:46,347 because zebras and refs both have white and black stripes. 229 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,149 You know, with like. 230 00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:51,185 You know, they kinda look similar. 231 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,786 What the hell, parents! 232 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,022 They don't know their animals yet? 233 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,158 Go home and get your piano, Rowlf. 234 00:10:58,459 --> 00:10:59,528 Seriously? 235 00:10:59,561 --> 00:11:01,662 You think if I was a muppet, I'd be doing this gig? 236 00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:04,498 You're either Rowlf or a bear took a shit on Snoopy. 237 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,901 Oh, laughter. 238 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,869 Maybe you and me should trade places. 239 00:11:10,204 --> 00:11:11,438 Allan, calm down. 240 00:11:11,472 --> 00:11:12,273 Screw this. 241 00:11:12,306 --> 00:11:14,208 I wanna pet his anus with my thumb. 242 00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,178 What do his eyes feel like? 243 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,146 No, no, no, no, not the shakes. 244 00:11:19,180 --> 00:11:21,348 Allan, Allan, Allan. 245 00:11:21,382 --> 00:11:22,183 It's okay. 246 00:11:22,216 --> 00:11:23,585 It's okay, it's okay. 247 00:11:23,618 --> 00:11:25,352 Allan, it's okay. 248 00:11:25,386 --> 00:11:27,154 It's okay, it's okay. 249 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,128 So he was telling this joke, 250 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,930 but the kids, they weren't really laughing. 251 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,064 And I think it just was really... 252 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,300 They weren't laughing. 253 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:40,701 They weren't laughing. 254 00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,136 Hey, shh. 255 00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:44,438 I'm writing a prescription for Allan's anxiety. 256 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,006 But Allan is on the edge. 257 00:11:47,942 --> 00:11:50,444 Call me immediately if this happens again. 258 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:51,912 I will. 259 00:11:51,946 --> 00:11:53,682 Thank you, Dr. Williams. 260 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:54,516 Okay. 261 00:11:54,549 --> 00:11:57,751 And listen, I was thinking, 262 00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:59,954 maybe we shouldn't perform anymore. 263 00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,956 Allan puts so much pressure on himself. 264 00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:02,923 It can't be healthy. 265 00:12:02,957 --> 00:12:04,391 This is my dream. 266 00:12:04,425 --> 00:12:06,360 Laugh, you little fuckers. 267 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,063 You know about his family being famous show dogs 268 00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:10,599 and him being the runt of the litter. 269 00:12:10,632 --> 00:12:12,634 I just, I wanna be encouraging, 270 00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,603 but I'm worried about his hopes being crushed. 271 00:12:14,636 --> 00:12:16,270 You can't pet my anus. 272 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:17,171 Hey. 273 00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:17,972 Shh. 274 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,039 You're doing great, Matt. 275 00:12:19,073 --> 00:12:20,609 Don't beat yourself up over this. 276 00:12:20,642 --> 00:12:23,578 You and Allan are fantastic together. 277 00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:26,947 Look, Allan is gonna take one pill twice a day. 278 00:12:26,981 --> 00:12:28,482 And he needs to exercise more. 279 00:12:28,516 --> 00:12:30,884 I just wanna be rich and famous. 280 00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,787 Ellie, she walks Mr. Wrinkles, 281 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,289 you know, my little Chinese Shar-Pei. 282 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,591 You'll both love her. 283 00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:37,424 Thank you. 284 00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:38,259 Where am I? 285 00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:39,326 Shh. 286 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,295 Allan, you are in my office, and you are safe. 287 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:42,997 How are you feeling? 288 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,365 Okay, I guess. 289 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,535 It happened again? 290 00:12:47,569 --> 00:12:49,270 Oh, it sure did, buddy. 291 00:12:49,303 --> 00:12:50,237 But don't you worry. 292 00:12:50,271 --> 00:12:52,540 We're gonna get you fixed up like new, okay? 293 00:12:52,574 --> 00:12:54,208 I love you, Matt. 294 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:55,976 I love you, pal. 295 00:12:56,010 --> 00:12:57,411 And Dr. Williams, 296 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,514 one more question while I have you real quick. 297 00:12:59,547 --> 00:13:00,481 Of course. 298 00:13:00,515 --> 00:13:01,949 Yeah. 299 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:05,419 Medically speaking, is my dick still growing? 300 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,920 Or is this pretty much what I have to work with? 301 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:07,756 Allan! 302 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:08,956 - I'm sorry. - What? 303 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,625 I'm not a puppy anymore, you know. 304 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:11,726 Hey, does that scale still work? 305 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:13,027 I'm getting little Allan up there and just... 306 00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:13,994 Oh, that's enough, Allan. 307 00:13:14,028 --> 00:13:14,962 Take care of business. 308 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:15,796 Okay, sorry, Dr. Williams. 309 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:16,631 Allan. 310 00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:19,166 There are streets out there. 311 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,403 So what gives, dude? 312 00:13:22,436 --> 00:13:24,773 I come in from the doghouse last night to snuggle 313 00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,675 and I get the cold shoulder? 314 00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:28,242 I didn't give you the cold shoulder, Allan. 315 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:31,746 Hmm, interesting theory, because it was your shoulder, 316 00:13:31,780 --> 00:13:34,348 it was cold, and it nudged me away. 317 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,785 Allan, I nudge you because you laid across my face 318 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:38,986 in the middle of the night and I couldn't breathe. 319 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:41,355 Nudges are walls people build around their hearts, Matt. 320 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,057 Allan, I couldn't breathe! 321 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,158 I thought I might die. 322 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,393 That's a perfectly good reason for a nudge. 323 00:13:46,427 --> 00:13:47,261 Well, I need, 324 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:48,228 thank you, sir. 325 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,699 I need a human companion who would rather die 326 00:13:50,732 --> 00:13:53,200 than interrupt even a moment of my innocent slumber. 327 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,935 That's ridiculous. 328 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:55,969 Wait. 329 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,639 Are you still annoyed I asked Dr. Williams 330 00:13:57,672 --> 00:13:59,507 to use her scale to weigh my dog-hood? 331 00:13:59,541 --> 00:14:02,309 Well, now that you mention it, 332 00:14:02,343 --> 00:14:03,578 in what world do you think it's okay 333 00:14:03,611 --> 00:14:05,747 to ask another person to weigh your junk? 334 00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:07,981 She's a doctor, god. 335 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,651 Just tracking my progress, dude. 336 00:14:09,684 --> 00:14:10,585 Excuse me? 337 00:14:10,618 --> 00:14:12,486 I said I'm just tracking my progress. 338 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,888 Why don't you just use a ruler like everyone else does? 339 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,890 The ruler method is flawed, dude. 340 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:19,794 If I shove the end into my groin, I can force an extra inch. 341 00:14:20,662 --> 00:14:21,995 Ooh, that must be Ellie. 342 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:22,831 Who? 343 00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,131 Your new dog walker. 344 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,366 But why? 345 00:14:25,399 --> 00:14:26,467 Because you need someone 346 00:14:26,501 --> 00:14:27,868 to get you to take your anxiety pill 347 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:28,837 in the middle of the day, 348 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,739 and an extra walk will do you some good. 349 00:14:30,772 --> 00:14:31,840 I already hate her knock. 350 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:32,674 Allan. 351 00:14:32,707 --> 00:14:33,508 Oh, I'm great. 352 00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:34,341 I'm wearing my fox onesie. 353 00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:35,844 Perf. 354 00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:36,711 Be nice. 355 00:14:40,648 --> 00:14:41,716 Hi, I'm Matt. 356 00:14:42,784 --> 00:14:43,984 Ellie. 357 00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:44,853 Yeah. 358 00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,457 Oh, you wanna come in? 359 00:14:50,491 --> 00:14:51,291 Yes. 360 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:52,126 Yeah, come on in. 361 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:55,195 And you must be Allan. 362 00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:56,765 I'm full grown, you know. 363 00:14:56,798 --> 00:14:57,599 Oh. 364 00:14:57,632 --> 00:14:59,366 Yeah, you you look it. 365 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,635 Damn straight. 366 00:15:00,668 --> 00:15:01,636 I only mention it 367 00:15:01,669 --> 00:15:03,838 in case the pajamas gave you the wrong impresh. 368 00:15:03,872 --> 00:15:06,974 I wear them for both comfort and nerd hipness. 369 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,543 No, the onesie's clutch. 370 00:15:08,576 --> 00:15:10,779 It takes a confident male to rock a onesie. 371 00:15:10,812 --> 00:15:11,613 Respect. 372 00:15:11,646 --> 00:15:12,814 Mm, yeah. 373 00:15:12,847 --> 00:15:14,816 Respect backsies to the maxies. 374 00:15:14,849 --> 00:15:16,885 Flattery will get you everywhere, mah lady. 375 00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:17,719 Oh. 376 00:15:17,752 --> 00:15:19,521 Anyway, Matt is running very late 377 00:15:19,554 --> 00:15:20,954 and has to leave immediately. 378 00:15:20,988 --> 00:15:23,825 So that'll give us a chance to see if we're a good match. 379 00:15:23,858 --> 00:15:26,994 Hey, who's nudging who now, huh, buddy? 380 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,831 It was great meeting you, Ellie, really great. 381 00:15:29,864 --> 00:15:30,665 You too. 382 00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:31,733 I like your glasses, by the way. 383 00:15:31,766 --> 00:15:32,567 - Yeah. - Oh. 384 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:33,400 They're cool. 385 00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:34,401 Do they 386 00:15:34,435 --> 00:15:35,469 help you see? 387 00:15:35,503 --> 00:15:36,671 Oh, yeah. 388 00:15:36,704 --> 00:15:39,440 They are not just worn for style. 389 00:15:39,473 --> 00:15:40,441 Cool. 390 00:15:40,474 --> 00:15:41,543 I like your sideburns. 391 00:15:41,576 --> 00:15:42,911 Do they keep your face warm? 392 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,612 Thanks. 393 00:15:44,646 --> 00:15:46,113 Yeah, they do. 394 00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,916 This one got burned off a couple of years ago though. 395 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,818 Allan and I were camping, got in a food fight, 396 00:15:49,851 --> 00:15:52,219 and I got hit by a burning hot marshmallow. 397 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,053 Gah. 398 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,354 Not exactly a brush with death 399 00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,056 but the story lives on somehow. 400 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,157 All right, my man, I know you gotta run. 401 00:15:57,191 --> 00:15:57,991 I guess I gotta... 402 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:58,793 Have a great day. 403 00:15:58,827 --> 00:15:59,627 Yeah, all right. 404 00:15:59,661 --> 00:16:00,461 Get outta here. 405 00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:01,295 - All right. - Bye, Allan. 406 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:02,129 Hey, Ellie, it was really nice... 407 00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,731 Yeah, you, oh. 408 00:16:03,765 --> 00:16:04,998 Okay. 409 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:08,402 Why don't you take off your jacket and step into my lair? 410 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:11,739 All right, let the interrogaysh commence. 411 00:16:11,773 --> 00:16:15,175 That's shortsies for interrogation. 412 00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:17,077 So official. 413 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:17,912 Let's start. 414 00:16:17,946 --> 00:16:18,813 All right. 415 00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:20,882 Let's get down to biz. 416 00:16:20,915 --> 00:16:23,317 That's short for biznasty. 417 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,854 But you're got a hip Silverlakey kind of girl. 418 00:16:25,887 --> 00:16:27,889 I bet you're down with the abbrevs, mah lady. 419 00:16:27,922 --> 00:16:29,891 Oh, I love the abbrevs. 420 00:16:29,924 --> 00:16:33,060 But you do seem to say mah lady a lot. 421 00:16:34,696 --> 00:16:36,363 Do you not like it, mah lady? 422 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,833 Oh, no, it's fine. 423 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,067 I mean, I could see it 424 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:43,638 getting a little annoying after a while. 425 00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:46,306 Well, I don't wish to call you mah lady 426 00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,676 if mah lady does not like it. 427 00:16:48,710 --> 00:16:50,678 Every now and then is perf. 428 00:16:50,712 --> 00:16:51,546 Okay. 429 00:16:51,579 --> 00:16:52,847 First quesh. 430 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:55,550 That's a question, and it's a pretty big one. 431 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,451 Are you a sociopath? 432 00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:58,586 No. 433 00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:01,923 Every time I murder somebody, I feel terribly guilty. 434 00:17:01,956 --> 00:17:04,324 Witty banter, check. 435 00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:05,459 Ha, that's great. 436 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,961 All right, second quesh. 437 00:17:06,995 --> 00:17:07,829 That's question. 438 00:17:07,862 --> 00:17:08,730 Wait, real quicksies. 439 00:17:08,763 --> 00:17:09,731 Uh-huh. 440 00:17:09,764 --> 00:17:12,199 Do you always say the abbrev version of a word 441 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,401 and then follow it up with the full word? 442 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:18,006 Because that kinda defeats the point of the abbrevs. 443 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:18,873 PTML. 444 00:17:20,608 --> 00:17:22,510 Point taken, mah lady. 445 00:17:23,511 --> 00:17:24,311 - Okay. - Okay, 446 00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,412 question number two. 447 00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:26,446 Oh, yeah. 448 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,815 So we're on a walk. 449 00:17:27,849 --> 00:17:28,950 It's a hypothetical. 450 00:17:28,983 --> 00:17:31,351 We're on a walk and, you know, I see a burden in a bush 451 00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:34,722 or something like that, and I just go nuts. 452 00:17:34,756 --> 00:17:37,992 Now, do you panic and drop the leash? 453 00:17:38,026 --> 00:17:41,763 Or do you kinda take control a little bit? 454 00:17:41,796 --> 00:17:43,430 Oh. 455 00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:47,367 Well, I guess I would take control, rein it in. 456 00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,370 Ooh. 457 00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:53,206 Yeah, just, you know, a gentle tug on the leash 458 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,043 to remind you who's in control. 459 00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:56,811 Ooh, message received! 460 00:17:56,844 --> 00:17:59,581 Yeah, and if things got really out of hand, 461 00:17:59,614 --> 00:18:01,649 maybe a firm pat on the butt 462 00:18:01,683 --> 00:18:04,786 with an, "Allan, no," thrown in. 463 00:18:04,819 --> 00:18:05,620 O, 464 00:18:05,653 --> 00:18:06,821 M, 465 00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:08,355 G. 466 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:11,059 I could hug your face forever. 467 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,326 Oh. 468 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,029 Well, you know, I think we're done here. 469 00:18:15,063 --> 00:18:17,532 Anything you wanna tell me before a trial rub? 470 00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:19,099 Run, trial run. 471 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:19,934 Sorry. 472 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,168 Trial run? 473 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:24,939 Actually, there is something I like to be upfront about. 474 00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:26,040 Oh, please. 475 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:29,644 This is an indica vape pen. 476 00:18:29,677 --> 00:18:30,511 Mm-hmm. 477 00:18:30,545 --> 00:18:32,446 This strain is called Death Star. 478 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:35,282 And while I am totally anti dark side, 479 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:39,053 if I smoke this all day, I sleep like a baby all night. 480 00:18:39,087 --> 00:18:40,088 Oh. 481 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,823 You know, I'm all for national legalizache, 482 00:18:41,856 --> 00:18:43,825 but Matt and I, honestly, you know, 483 00:18:43,858 --> 00:18:46,961 we've barely dabbled with the Mary Jane ourselves. 484 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,100 Blow that fucker in my eye! 485 00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:52,967 Oh, shit! 486 00:18:55,703 --> 00:18:56,537 Oh, yeah! 487 00:18:57,471 --> 00:18:58,305 I love you, man! 488 00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,107 I love you, my man! 489 00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:01,042 I love you! 490 00:19:08,716 --> 00:19:10,350 All finished? 491 00:19:10,384 --> 00:19:11,218 No. 492 00:19:17,792 --> 00:19:18,893 Well, you're obviously hired. 493 00:19:18,926 --> 00:19:19,894 Oh. 494 00:19:19,927 --> 00:19:22,130 You give me a sense of control, 495 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,632 and yet, I never forget who's boss. 496 00:19:24,666 --> 00:19:27,702 Yeah, yeah, it felt natural. 497 00:19:27,735 --> 00:19:29,504 You're very pretty, you know. 498 00:19:29,537 --> 00:19:30,638 Oh. 499 00:19:30,672 --> 00:19:32,573 Well, thank you, Allan. 500 00:19:33,875 --> 00:19:36,878 Oh, is that you and Matt there? 501 00:19:36,911 --> 00:19:38,513 Yep, that's him. 502 00:19:38,546 --> 00:19:39,547 Hmm, cute. 503 00:19:41,115 --> 00:19:42,382 Oh. 504 00:19:42,416 --> 00:19:46,754 Well, hey, you know, Matt's great, but spoiler alert, 505 00:19:46,788 --> 00:19:49,489 he's a bit of a boozer and a registered sex offender. 506 00:19:49,524 --> 00:19:50,825 Oh. 507 00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:54,162 Well, that's only two strikes, I guess. 508 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,262 Could be worse. 509 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,131 Oh, yeah, it's not a big deal. 510 00:19:57,165 --> 00:19:59,567 I mean, you know, he was caught masturbating in a, 511 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,201 you know, a movie theater or an airplane. 512 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:04,138 I can't remember, but water under the bridge. 513 00:20:04,172 --> 00:20:04,972 Right. 514 00:20:05,006 --> 00:20:06,140 Oh, you know what? 515 00:20:06,174 --> 00:20:08,643 After a successful walk, I usually like to take a nap, 516 00:20:08,676 --> 00:20:12,212 but I would love to watch the movie Rocky for the 65th time. 517 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,582 Oh, big fan, huh? 518 00:20:14,615 --> 00:20:15,750 Are you kidding me? 519 00:20:15,783 --> 00:20:17,384 Sly wrote the script in two weeks. 520 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,218 That's redonk! 521 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,088 That is redonkulous. 522 00:20:20,121 --> 00:20:20,922 And you know what? 523 00:20:20,955 --> 00:20:21,889 I would love to join you, 524 00:20:21,923 --> 00:20:23,858 but my boyfriend's about to pick me up. 525 00:20:25,827 --> 00:20:28,730 Oh, but you would love him, mm-hmm. 526 00:20:29,564 --> 00:20:31,065 And you know what? 527 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:32,365 You should meet my dog. 528 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,669 She's a big fan of Rocky too. 529 00:20:34,702 --> 00:20:39,006 I mean, Rocky as well, not Rocky 2, the sequel. 530 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,307 Solid film, sure, 531 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:43,878 but it doesn't hold a candle to the orig feech, 532 00:20:43,911 --> 00:20:46,881 which is short for original feature. 533 00:20:51,986 --> 00:20:53,286 We have more candidates to interview, 534 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,123 but thank you so much. 535 00:20:56,090 --> 00:20:58,693 Allan. 536 00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,102 Ellie! 537 00:21:09,070 --> 00:21:11,338 Do you really like the movie Rocky? 538 00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:13,608 People forget how gritty and real it is. 539 00:21:13,641 --> 00:21:15,042 And it has turtles. 540 00:21:15,076 --> 00:21:16,343 Cuff and Link. 541 00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:18,613 And I bet your boyfriend's super cool, huh? 542 00:21:18,646 --> 00:21:20,915 Like a total alpha male badass? 543 00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:23,483 Hmm, somewhere in that ballpark. 544 00:21:23,518 --> 00:21:25,418 His name is Steve. 545 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,155 Sounds like a dick. 546 00:21:27,188 --> 00:21:28,421 Well, that's okay. 547 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:29,791 You're hired if you still want the job. 548 00:21:29,824 --> 00:21:30,658 Oh. 549 00:21:31,759 --> 00:21:33,493 Yeah, I'll take it. 550 00:21:33,528 --> 00:21:34,629 Fantastic! 551 00:21:34,662 --> 00:21:35,863 Friendsies? 552 00:21:35,897 --> 00:21:37,265 Friendsies. 553 00:21:41,836 --> 00:21:42,670 Ooh. 554 00:21:43,771 --> 00:21:45,106 Fuck you, Steve. 555 00:21:55,516 --> 00:21:57,384 Mail man. 556 00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,352 Neither rain nor snow? 557 00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:01,956 Fuck you, man! 558 00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:02,990 Allan, no! 559 00:22:04,091 --> 00:22:05,893 Yeah, set me straight, baby girl. 560 00:22:05,927 --> 00:22:07,394 I'm so naughty. 561 00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,630 I'm so sorry. 562 00:22:09,664 --> 00:22:11,866 Allan, drink your milkshake. 563 00:22:11,899 --> 00:22:14,168 All right, I'm chilling out. 564 00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:24,344 Oh, shit. 565 00:22:44,198 --> 00:22:45,032 Dude. 566 00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:48,603 Where do you think you're going? 567 00:22:52,139 --> 00:22:54,609 Oh, little dude, you touch that ball, 568 00:22:54,642 --> 00:22:58,411 I will eat you whole, poop you out and eat you again. 569 00:22:58,445 --> 00:22:59,680 Yeah, beat it! 570 00:22:59,714 --> 00:23:01,215 There you go. 571 00:23:01,249 --> 00:23:02,316 That's right. 572 00:23:03,718 --> 00:23:05,019 Tough guy, huh? 573 00:23:05,052 --> 00:23:07,420 Let's see how tough you are when your number's up. 574 00:23:07,454 --> 00:23:09,090 Right, Kev? 575 00:23:09,123 --> 00:23:10,558 Food goes in here. 576 00:23:10,591 --> 00:23:12,026 Oh, geez, Kevin. 577 00:23:12,059 --> 00:23:12,860 What? 578 00:23:12,894 --> 00:23:13,694 That's where it goes. 579 00:23:13,728 --> 00:23:14,662 Shut up, Kevin! 580 00:23:14,695 --> 00:23:15,830 We need to move! 581 00:23:15,863 --> 00:23:16,998 Now! 582 00:23:17,031 --> 00:23:18,799 I swear, if you're weren't my sister's kid, 583 00:23:18,833 --> 00:23:20,701 I'd have you for breakfast. 584 00:23:20,735 --> 00:23:22,469 I can play ball if I wanna. 585 00:23:22,503 --> 00:23:23,838 Big dogs are just jelly. 586 00:23:28,843 --> 00:23:29,777 You got this, Matt. 587 00:23:29,810 --> 00:23:31,545 Come on, you got this. 588 00:23:31,579 --> 00:23:32,580 Fuck, here they come. 589 00:23:32,613 --> 00:23:34,481 I don't act on those impulses. 590 00:23:34,515 --> 00:23:36,416 Sure, you know, I'd love to kill a squirrel, you know, 591 00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:39,253 but that's somebody's mother or brother or sister. 592 00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:40,087 And I'm not a dick. 593 00:23:40,121 --> 00:23:40,922 You know what I'm saying? 594 00:23:40,955 --> 00:23:42,156 Oh, hey, guys. 595 00:23:42,189 --> 00:23:43,257 What are you doing here, man? 596 00:23:43,291 --> 00:23:46,294 Oh, work was slow, so Stan cut me loose. 597 00:23:46,327 --> 00:23:48,095 I was thinking maybe we'd go by the lagoon, 598 00:23:48,129 --> 00:23:49,931 check out some ducks. 599 00:23:51,032 --> 00:23:53,301 Do you wanna come, Ellie? 600 00:23:53,334 --> 00:23:55,403 That sounds great 601 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:56,837 This day sucks. 602 00:24:01,175 --> 00:24:03,744 The sun's reflection in the water is really pretty. 603 00:24:03,778 --> 00:24:04,679 Totes. 604 00:24:06,881 --> 00:24:08,182 The inherent beauty all around us 605 00:24:08,215 --> 00:24:09,850 implies an underlying conscience 606 00:24:09,884 --> 00:24:14,355 or even creator who loves us and wants us to be happy. 607 00:24:14,388 --> 00:24:15,957 Or you're a nerd. 608 00:24:15,990 --> 00:24:17,490 One or the other, I guess. 609 00:24:17,525 --> 00:24:18,726 Hey, non-sequitur, 610 00:24:18,759 --> 00:24:21,494 but Matt and I have a comedy show tonight, 611 00:24:21,529 --> 00:24:23,898 if you're not hanging out with your boyfriend. 612 00:24:23,931 --> 00:24:25,333 What, you have a boyfriend? 613 00:24:25,366 --> 00:24:28,703 I, I mean, of course you have a boyfriend. 614 00:24:28,736 --> 00:24:29,971 You're amazing. 615 00:24:32,006 --> 00:24:32,807 What does he do? 616 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:34,241 Is he in a dangerous line of work? 617 00:24:34,275 --> 00:24:35,576 Good thinking, dude. 618 00:24:35,609 --> 00:24:37,778 He does drive a motorcycle. 619 00:24:37,812 --> 00:24:39,981 Well, I don't know how dangerous it is 620 00:24:40,014 --> 00:24:42,683 being a green juice barista but, 621 00:24:43,818 --> 00:24:45,720 it doesn't matter, guys. 622 00:24:45,753 --> 00:24:46,754 We broke up. 623 00:24:48,488 --> 00:24:49,991 I'm so sorry, Ellie. 624 00:24:50,024 --> 00:24:51,192 Oh, it's okay. 625 00:24:51,225 --> 00:24:53,027 We were struggling for a while. 626 00:24:53,060 --> 00:24:54,762 Nobody's to blame. 627 00:24:54,795 --> 00:24:59,499 Well, Steve's lack of communication is to blame. 628 00:24:59,533 --> 00:25:00,501 That and the fact that he sent 629 00:25:00,534 --> 00:25:03,871 a dick pic collage to his neighbor. 630 00:25:03,904 --> 00:25:05,072 A collage? 631 00:25:05,106 --> 00:25:06,307 Yeah. 632 00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:09,043 A lot of time and effort went into this. 633 00:25:09,076 --> 00:25:12,313 It was a bunch of pics of his dick wearing tiny hats, 634 00:25:12,346 --> 00:25:14,448 Indiana Jones's fedora, 635 00:25:14,482 --> 00:25:17,718 one of those jester hats with the little bells on the end, 636 00:25:17,752 --> 00:25:18,753 Santa's hat. 637 00:25:18,786 --> 00:25:19,587 No! 638 00:25:19,620 --> 00:25:20,421 I'm getting off track. 639 00:25:20,454 --> 00:25:22,957 The point is I'm totally fine. 640 00:25:27,628 --> 00:25:29,296 Oh, why am I crying? 641 00:25:30,264 --> 00:25:32,400 Oh, it was the sorting hat from the Harry Potter 642 00:25:32,433 --> 00:25:34,101 that really put me over the edge. 643 00:25:34,135 --> 00:25:34,935 Oh, no. 644 00:25:34,969 --> 00:25:35,936 No, no, no, no. 645 00:25:35,970 --> 00:25:36,771 It's okay, Ellie. 646 00:25:36,804 --> 00:25:38,739 Everybody has a tipping point. 647 00:25:38,773 --> 00:25:41,375 Terrible choice of words, my man. 648 00:25:41,409 --> 00:25:44,311 But I know something that might help. 649 00:25:44,345 --> 00:25:46,480 A hug from a super cute dog. 650 00:25:46,515 --> 00:25:49,216 - Oh. - If only we had one handy. 651 00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:50,918 Oh, thanks, Allan. 652 00:25:52,086 --> 00:25:54,722 Yeah. 653 00:25:54,755 --> 00:25:57,725 And Ellie, if you don't wanna be alone tonight, 654 00:25:57,758 --> 00:25:59,727 you should come to our show. 655 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,195 Yeah. 656 00:26:01,228 --> 00:26:05,933 I'd love to, guys, but I have my OPKC meeting tonight. 657 00:26:05,966 --> 00:26:06,801 Oh. 658 00:26:09,003 --> 00:26:10,471 OPKC? 659 00:26:10,505 --> 00:26:12,940 Owl pillow knitting club. 660 00:26:12,973 --> 00:26:14,041 My therapist said I should focus 661 00:26:14,075 --> 00:26:15,510 on what makes me happy right now. 662 00:26:15,544 --> 00:26:20,549 And frankly, I love getting high and knitting owls on shit. 663 00:26:20,748 --> 00:26:21,550 I got nothing. 664 00:26:21,582 --> 00:26:22,383 You? 665 00:26:22,416 --> 00:26:23,684 No, I'm good. 666 00:26:27,154 --> 00:26:29,690 Oh! 667 00:26:29,723 --> 00:26:32,059 Vanilla Ice likes spicy rice! 668 00:26:32,093 --> 00:26:34,462 Vanilla Ice likes spicy fucking rice! 669 00:26:34,495 --> 00:26:35,296 Boom! 670 00:26:35,329 --> 00:26:36,130 Yeah! 671 00:26:36,163 --> 00:26:37,064 We are ready! 672 00:26:37,098 --> 00:26:38,265 Yes, we are! 673 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,970 By the way, dude, owl pillow knitting club? 674 00:26:43,003 --> 00:26:44,105 Oh, god, what was that? 675 00:26:44,138 --> 00:26:46,107 I mean, at least you know the excuse is real. 676 00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:47,408 Who would make something like that up? 677 00:26:47,441 --> 00:26:48,876 I don't know. 678 00:26:48,909 --> 00:26:50,778 Speaking of making shit up, 679 00:26:50,811 --> 00:26:53,747 I told Ellie that you're a registered sex offender. 680 00:26:53,781 --> 00:26:54,982 All right, let's have a great show now. 681 00:26:55,015 --> 00:26:55,816 Wait, wait a minute. 682 00:26:55,850 --> 00:26:56,750 What? 683 00:26:56,784 --> 00:26:57,885 Why would you make up something like that? 684 00:26:57,918 --> 00:27:00,221 So I look amazing by comparison, dude. 685 00:27:00,254 --> 00:27:01,889 God, it's called being a good wing man. 686 00:27:01,922 --> 00:27:04,391 God, that bums me out, Allan. 687 00:27:04,425 --> 00:27:05,826 I don't want Ellie thinking that. 688 00:27:05,860 --> 00:27:06,660 Calm down. 689 00:27:06,694 --> 00:27:08,195 It's not a big deal. 690 00:27:08,229 --> 00:27:11,365 I said you were caught masturbating on a plane one time. 691 00:27:11,398 --> 00:27:12,233 Geez. 692 00:27:13,267 --> 00:27:14,068 Dude! 693 00:27:14,101 --> 00:27:14,935 What? 694 00:27:15,870 --> 00:27:16,770 Hey, man. 695 00:27:18,372 --> 00:27:20,374 What's going on, Tommy? 696 00:27:20,407 --> 00:27:22,443 Henry's hanging it up. 697 00:27:22,476 --> 00:27:23,277 What? 698 00:27:23,310 --> 00:27:24,579 All right, all right, all right. 699 00:27:24,613 --> 00:27:25,412 What's up? 700 00:27:25,446 --> 00:27:26,380 Listen up. 701 00:27:26,413 --> 00:27:28,482 After 30 years of running this club, 702 00:27:28,517 --> 00:27:31,986 one of the things I learned is to make sure 703 00:27:32,019 --> 00:27:34,556 that you love the journey, 704 00:27:34,589 --> 00:27:36,690 no matter what happens on stage or off, 705 00:27:36,724 --> 00:27:39,793 because life is about the road, guys, 706 00:27:42,163 --> 00:27:43,797 not the destination. 707 00:27:44,798 --> 00:27:45,799 I don't like change, Matt. 708 00:27:45,833 --> 00:27:46,834 - Shh. - And while I still have 709 00:27:46,867 --> 00:27:51,872 a little bit of road left in me, 710 00:27:52,673 --> 00:27:57,478 I'm turning the reins over to my brother-in-law, Barrick. 711 00:27:57,512 --> 00:27:59,413 And I'm hoping some fresh blood 712 00:27:59,446 --> 00:28:02,917 will breathe new life into this whole place. 713 00:28:02,950 --> 00:28:04,952 Henry, this is crazy, man. 714 00:28:04,985 --> 00:28:05,953 You can't retire. 715 00:28:05,986 --> 00:28:09,290 You mean too much to us, to the whole community. 716 00:28:09,323 --> 00:28:11,859 Ah, it's just it's gotten so competitive, Matt. 717 00:28:11,892 --> 00:28:14,762 I mean, people can get everything they want 718 00:28:14,795 --> 00:28:16,830 right on the internet. 719 00:28:16,864 --> 00:28:20,502 Why leave the house when you can sit in your underwear 720 00:28:20,535 --> 00:28:23,103 and watch high definition porn? 721 00:28:25,540 --> 00:28:28,275 Yeah, but people still need to socialize, man. 722 00:28:28,309 --> 00:28:32,479 You can only masturbate so many times in a day, right? 723 00:28:32,514 --> 00:28:34,583 You haven't met my brother-in-law, Barrick. 724 00:28:35,449 --> 00:28:37,051 Barrick. 725 00:28:37,084 --> 00:28:38,752 Take the floor. 726 00:28:46,193 --> 00:28:47,596 Now, listen up. 727 00:28:49,930 --> 00:28:52,099 As the new boss, obviously 728 00:28:52,132 --> 00:28:53,934 I'm gonna be changing shit up everywhere. 729 00:28:53,968 --> 00:28:57,137 So if you don't like change, you know, 730 00:28:58,372 --> 00:28:59,473 get the hell out now. 731 00:28:59,507 --> 00:29:00,341 Church! 732 00:29:00,374 --> 00:29:01,576 Change is the shit! 733 00:29:01,610 --> 00:29:02,776 Allan. 734 00:29:02,810 --> 00:29:07,414 And there's only one opinion that matters from now on, 735 00:29:07,448 --> 00:29:09,551 and that's mine. 736 00:29:09,584 --> 00:29:11,720 FYI, this is me laughing. 737 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:13,722 Ha-hee! 738 00:29:17,391 --> 00:29:19,628 This isn't me not laughing. 739 00:29:22,530 --> 00:29:23,964 Okay? 740 00:29:23,998 --> 00:29:26,433 Are you grokking the difference? 741 00:29:26,467 --> 00:29:31,472 If you stop getting stage time, there ain't no mystery. 742 00:29:31,839 --> 00:29:35,242 It's because you're not seeing enough of. 743 00:29:36,143 --> 00:29:37,177 Huh? 744 00:29:37,211 --> 00:29:38,045 Comprende? 745 00:29:39,079 --> 00:29:42,416 All right, I got some mind-blowing news. 746 00:29:43,551 --> 00:29:47,821 The Booker himself is gonna be coming to this club, 747 00:29:49,724 --> 00:29:52,493 this very club next Friday night. 748 00:29:54,795 --> 00:29:58,165 Judging by your impressed murmuring, 749 00:29:58,198 --> 00:30:01,603 you all know how the Booker got his name. 750 00:30:02,936 --> 00:30:06,006 You get managed by this guy, 751 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,043 hey, you're as good as booked. 752 00:30:09,076 --> 00:30:11,412 His clients appear on Live Tonight with Kenny Baker 753 00:30:11,445 --> 00:30:13,748 all the fucking time, 754 00:30:13,782 --> 00:30:16,283 but you gots to make me first, 755 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:20,755 first. 756 00:30:22,590 --> 00:30:24,425 Break a leg, assholes. 757 00:30:31,865 --> 00:30:33,133 What a prick. 758 00:30:33,167 --> 00:30:34,168 Good pep talk. 759 00:30:37,772 --> 00:30:39,541 I know guys like this. 760 00:30:39,574 --> 00:30:42,209 Deep down, all they need is a hug. 761 00:30:42,242 --> 00:30:43,377 Yeah, I don't know, Allan. 762 00:30:43,410 --> 00:30:45,179 This guy seems like a tough cookie. 763 00:30:45,212 --> 00:30:49,183 My man, never underestimate the cuteness of this face. 764 00:30:49,216 --> 00:30:50,150 What? 765 00:30:50,184 --> 00:30:52,152 I'm gonna go schmooze this hurting soul. 766 00:30:52,186 --> 00:30:53,755 Now, Allan, wait! 767 00:30:56,558 --> 00:30:59,326 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 768 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,596 That is far enough, Garfield. 769 00:31:01,629 --> 00:31:02,731 Garfield? 770 00:31:02,764 --> 00:31:04,198 That's, that's not even a dog. 771 00:31:04,231 --> 00:31:07,000 Yeah, not another step. 772 00:31:07,034 --> 00:31:09,436 I got a serious medical condish over here. 773 00:31:09,470 --> 00:31:10,839 You like abbrevs, dude? 774 00:31:10,871 --> 00:31:11,740 I like to abbrevs! 775 00:31:11,773 --> 00:31:13,907 And I don't give a shit. 776 00:31:13,941 --> 00:31:15,976 I'm allergic to flea-ridden mutts. 777 00:31:16,009 --> 00:31:18,580 Your fur touches my skin, 778 00:31:18,613 --> 00:31:19,980 I could die. 779 00:31:20,013 --> 00:31:23,217 But you haven't lived until a puppy's licked your face. 780 00:31:23,250 --> 00:31:24,318 Yeah, pass. 781 00:31:25,252 --> 00:31:28,489 Look at you, completely disgusting. 782 00:31:28,523 --> 00:31:31,425 The fleas on you, fucking, pooping. 783 00:31:33,127 --> 00:31:36,063 Picture that, fleas pooping and fucking, 784 00:31:36,096 --> 00:31:38,132 rolling around in the poop. 785 00:31:38,165 --> 00:31:39,634 It makes me sick. 786 00:31:39,667 --> 00:31:42,336 Now, scram, Rick and Morty! 787 00:31:42,369 --> 00:31:43,170 The cartoon? 788 00:31:43,203 --> 00:31:44,004 I'm not sure... 789 00:31:44,037 --> 00:31:44,839 I said scram! 790 00:31:44,873 --> 00:31:45,807 All good. 791 00:31:50,712 --> 00:31:53,313 I know what you're thinking right now. 792 00:31:53,347 --> 00:31:55,683 Is this a little dude neutered or not? 793 00:31:55,717 --> 00:31:59,420 Well, I'm happy to report that my sack is intact, 794 00:31:59,453 --> 00:32:00,722 all thanks to this guy. 795 00:32:00,755 --> 00:32:02,356 He let me keep my balls, people. 796 00:32:02,389 --> 00:32:03,558 I sure don't want him licking mine. 797 00:32:04,425 --> 00:32:05,325 Good thing he's a heavy sleeper. 798 00:32:05,359 --> 00:32:06,393 What? 799 00:32:06,427 --> 00:32:08,462 And now that you know I still have my dog-hood, 800 00:32:08,495 --> 00:32:11,098 I feel obligated to warn the ladies out there 801 00:32:11,131 --> 00:32:12,567 that once you to go furry, 802 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,035 oh, you'll never worry again. 803 00:32:17,539 --> 00:32:19,841 What's the next joke? 804 00:32:19,874 --> 00:32:21,175 Something about my dick. 805 00:32:21,208 --> 00:32:22,476 Oh, yes. 806 00:32:22,510 --> 00:32:24,178 So my dick walks into a bar. 807 00:32:32,219 --> 00:32:34,188 This is bullshit. 808 00:32:34,221 --> 00:32:36,356 We were funny tonight, Matt. 809 00:32:36,390 --> 00:32:39,393 Yeah, well, funny is in the eye of the beholder, Allan. 810 00:32:39,426 --> 00:32:41,995 If Barrick doesn't think we're funny, we're not funny. 811 00:32:42,029 --> 00:32:44,566 That's why the comedy business is so risky. 812 00:32:44,599 --> 00:32:46,768 What's that got to do with anything? 813 00:32:46,801 --> 00:32:47,936 I don't know. 814 00:32:47,968 --> 00:32:48,937 Sometimes I think 815 00:32:48,969 --> 00:32:51,305 it's better to think of our thing as a hobby, 816 00:32:51,338 --> 00:32:53,541 take some of the pressure out of the situation. 817 00:32:55,577 --> 00:32:56,878 What's wrong? 818 00:32:56,911 --> 00:32:57,946 Oh, nothing. 819 00:32:57,978 --> 00:32:59,980 You just said I give up a million different ways. 820 00:33:00,013 --> 00:33:01,048 I'm not giving up. 821 00:33:01,081 --> 00:33:03,383 I'm just trying to be realistic. 822 00:33:03,417 --> 00:33:05,452 What's going on with you, dude? 823 00:33:05,486 --> 00:33:07,522 That's crazy talk. 824 00:33:07,555 --> 00:33:09,389 Seriously, what is up? 825 00:33:11,391 --> 00:33:12,392 Okay. 826 00:33:12,426 --> 00:33:13,260 Look, 827 00:33:14,529 --> 00:33:17,799 Stan offered me co-ownership of the junkyard. 828 00:33:17,832 --> 00:33:21,368 It'd mean more responsibility, longer hours, 829 00:33:21,401 --> 00:33:23,203 maybe even some weekends. 830 00:33:23,237 --> 00:33:25,940 Oh, so kiss our hobby goodbye. 831 00:33:25,974 --> 00:33:28,075 No, no, I'm not saying that. 832 00:33:28,108 --> 00:33:29,544 We can still perform now and then. 833 00:33:29,577 --> 00:33:33,815 It's just the junkyard puts a roof over our heads. 834 00:33:33,848 --> 00:33:34,849 Fuck that! 835 00:33:34,883 --> 00:33:36,551 Dude, we'll live on the streets 836 00:33:36,584 --> 00:33:38,318 and drink our own urine if we have to. 837 00:33:38,352 --> 00:33:41,255 Matt, I was born to make people laugh. 838 00:33:41,288 --> 00:33:43,490 If that gets taken away, I'm nothing. 839 00:33:43,525 --> 00:33:44,424 Hey, come on. 840 00:33:44,458 --> 00:33:45,627 No, not now. 841 00:33:47,529 --> 00:33:49,496 I haven't made any decisions yet, Allan, 842 00:33:49,531 --> 00:33:52,901 because no matter what, we're a team. 843 00:33:52,934 --> 00:33:53,835 It's you and me, pal. 844 00:33:53,868 --> 00:33:55,703 We're partners. 845 00:33:55,737 --> 00:34:00,542 You are such a pussy, it blows my mind, dude. 846 00:34:00,575 --> 00:34:02,442 At least I have my date with Ellie tomorrow. 847 00:34:02,476 --> 00:34:03,310 A date? 848 00:34:04,512 --> 00:34:05,680 Don't get carried away, Allan. 849 00:34:05,713 --> 00:34:08,048 She's your dog walker. 850 00:34:08,081 --> 00:34:09,483 No, buddy. 851 00:34:09,517 --> 00:34:11,351 She's more than that. 852 00:34:11,385 --> 00:34:13,186 Ellie is special. 853 00:34:13,220 --> 00:34:14,054 Yeah. 854 00:34:18,125 --> 00:34:20,360 You know, it's funny. 855 00:34:20,394 --> 00:34:22,162 I always get a little pleasure out of my walkers 856 00:34:22,195 --> 00:34:23,330 watching me go number one. 857 00:34:23,363 --> 00:34:25,265 Goodnight, Allan. 858 00:34:25,299 --> 00:34:27,167 Hell, even number two. 859 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,003 Oh, Jesus Christ. 860 00:34:29,037 --> 00:34:32,640 But I don't know if I want that with me and Ellie. 861 00:34:32,674 --> 00:34:33,942 She's too pure. 862 00:34:37,110 --> 00:34:39,747 Goodnight, Allan. 863 00:34:39,781 --> 00:34:41,281 Goodnight, dick. 864 00:34:44,552 --> 00:34:47,689 Ooh, dressed up a little bit today. 865 00:34:47,722 --> 00:34:48,990 Ooh, very nice. 866 00:34:50,457 --> 00:34:53,126 All right, game face, game face. 867 00:34:55,763 --> 00:34:57,431 Oh, hello, mah la... 868 00:34:58,432 --> 00:34:59,266 Buzz kill. 869 00:35:00,702 --> 00:35:01,703 Who is this? 870 00:35:03,037 --> 00:35:05,205 Allan, be nice. 871 00:35:05,238 --> 00:35:07,441 This is Princess Leia. 872 00:35:07,474 --> 00:35:09,142 I thought you two might like to meet. 873 00:35:09,176 --> 00:35:11,111 Is she of drinking age? 874 00:35:11,144 --> 00:35:13,648 She's 21 in human years. 875 00:35:13,681 --> 00:35:14,849 Why? 876 00:35:14,882 --> 00:35:18,285 So she can have a drink while she does her intruding. 877 00:35:18,318 --> 00:35:20,655 Do you like booze, Princess? 878 00:35:22,456 --> 00:35:23,357 Uh, yes. 879 00:35:28,261 --> 00:35:29,564 He's cute 880 00:35:29,597 --> 00:35:30,865 but kind of a dick. 881 00:35:30,898 --> 00:35:32,499 Hmm, right up your alley. 882 00:35:32,533 --> 00:35:34,035 Hmm, touche. 883 00:35:34,068 --> 00:35:36,638 But we can't all have loving fathers 884 00:35:36,671 --> 00:35:37,505 Hmm, no. 885 00:35:38,740 --> 00:35:42,043 All right, P. Leia, feel free to get comfortable anywhere 886 00:35:42,076 --> 00:35:44,344 on the floor and out of the way. 887 00:35:44,378 --> 00:35:45,379 Allan! 888 00:35:45,412 --> 00:35:46,714 You're being a dick. 889 00:35:46,748 --> 00:35:48,415 Apologize to Princess Leia. 890 00:35:48,448 --> 00:35:49,249 What? 891 00:35:49,282 --> 00:35:51,284 This is me being nice. 892 00:35:51,318 --> 00:35:56,423 All right, let's let the wine and conversation flow. 893 00:35:56,456 --> 00:35:59,292 Allan, I'm your dog walker. 894 00:35:59,326 --> 00:36:01,763 This isn't an appropriate friend day. 895 00:36:01,796 --> 00:36:02,630 Oh. 896 00:36:03,931 --> 00:36:06,233 I see what's going on here. 897 00:36:06,266 --> 00:36:09,737 You wanted me to meet Princess Leia. 898 00:36:09,771 --> 00:36:12,807 Translation, let's see if the mutts hit it off 899 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,009 because you're too good for a dog. 900 00:36:15,043 --> 00:36:19,479 Wait, unless this is a menage a paw type of thing. 901 00:36:19,514 --> 00:36:21,015 Allan, no! 902 00:36:21,049 --> 00:36:21,883 That's it. 903 00:36:21,916 --> 00:36:23,417 This walk is over! 904 00:36:24,484 --> 00:36:25,987 I'll urinate on the carpet. 905 00:36:26,020 --> 00:36:28,856 And you can forget about my goddamn anxiety pill, lady. 906 00:36:28,890 --> 00:36:32,827 I'm kind of in the mood for a life-threatening panic attack. 907 00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:34,896 This is my goodbye dance. 908 00:36:34,929 --> 00:36:37,832 I know it looks like the robot, but it's totally original. 909 00:36:37,865 --> 00:36:38,966 Oh, yeah. 910 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,268 It's how I celebrate the removal of poison in my life. 911 00:36:41,301 --> 00:36:42,870 Goodbye, poison. 912 00:36:42,904 --> 00:36:43,971 Bee boo beep. 913 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,141 Du du di du di du. 914 00:36:51,012 --> 00:36:52,180 Ellie, wait! 915 00:36:55,616 --> 00:36:57,217 Ellie, Ellie. 916 00:36:57,250 --> 00:36:59,954 Look, whatever Allan just did, I'm so sorry. 917 00:36:59,987 --> 00:37:01,622 It's okay, Matt. 918 00:37:01,656 --> 00:37:03,423 I just wanted to introduce him to Princess Leia 919 00:37:03,457 --> 00:37:05,026 because I thought they'd hit it off. 920 00:37:05,059 --> 00:37:06,828 I guess I was wrong. 921 00:37:06,861 --> 00:37:08,361 Hi, Princess Leia. 922 00:37:08,395 --> 00:37:09,731 Hey. 923 00:37:09,764 --> 00:37:10,798 You're right. 924 00:37:10,832 --> 00:37:11,799 He is cute. 925 00:37:11,833 --> 00:37:14,001 Shh. 926 00:37:14,035 --> 00:37:17,138 Look, Allan's a sweetheart, most of the time. 927 00:37:17,171 --> 00:37:18,072 Sure. 928 00:37:18,106 --> 00:37:19,372 Allan always gets along with pretty girls 929 00:37:19,406 --> 00:37:22,143 until he feels spurned, but that's not fair. 930 00:37:22,176 --> 00:37:23,477 Oh. 931 00:37:23,511 --> 00:37:25,012 Thanks. 932 00:37:25,046 --> 00:37:26,080 What? 933 00:37:26,114 --> 00:37:28,281 You just said I'm pretty. 934 00:37:28,315 --> 00:37:29,751 Oh. 935 00:37:29,784 --> 00:37:31,018 Yeah, yeah. 936 00:37:31,052 --> 00:37:32,486 Sure, I was just, 937 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:34,155 it's not a compliment. 938 00:37:34,188 --> 00:37:37,158 I was just stating it as relevant fact. 939 00:37:37,191 --> 00:37:42,262 Oh, wow, he's a smooth one. 940 00:37:42,295 --> 00:37:43,898 Look, don't sweat it. 941 00:37:43,931 --> 00:37:45,199 Allan's just a little emotional. 942 00:37:45,233 --> 00:37:46,433 It's okay. 943 00:37:46,466 --> 00:37:49,237 It's like he has something big to prove. 944 00:37:49,269 --> 00:37:50,905 Have you ever noticed that? 945 00:37:50,938 --> 00:37:52,974 He did pretend to take a phone call 946 00:37:53,007 --> 00:37:55,042 from Lena Dunham yesterday. 947 00:37:55,076 --> 00:37:55,977 Exactly. 948 00:37:56,010 --> 00:37:57,979 Yeah, why does he do stuff like that? 949 00:37:58,012 --> 00:38:00,948 Allan comes from this big famous dog show family, 950 00:38:00,982 --> 00:38:02,884 but he's the runt of the litter. 951 00:38:02,917 --> 00:38:05,418 And I think he's insecure about it 952 00:38:05,452 --> 00:38:07,121 because he never hit it big himself. 953 00:38:07,155 --> 00:38:08,055 Oh. 954 00:38:08,089 --> 00:38:10,390 Well, that does explain a lot. 955 00:38:10,423 --> 00:38:12,160 Well, look, nobody's perfect. 956 00:38:12,193 --> 00:38:14,695 I mean, who hasn't been arrested once or twice 957 00:38:14,729 --> 00:38:17,330 for indecent exposure? 958 00:38:17,364 --> 00:38:19,233 Allan told you I'm a registered sex offender. 959 00:38:19,267 --> 00:38:21,434 Registered, so no big. 960 00:38:22,804 --> 00:38:23,738 You know he was kidding, right? 961 00:38:23,771 --> 00:38:25,273 Oh, yeah, Matt, we know. 962 00:38:25,305 --> 00:38:28,341 Well, look, can I make it up to you sometime? 963 00:38:28,375 --> 00:38:30,443 Maybe take you out for a meal 964 00:38:30,477 --> 00:38:33,614 when you're not busy knitting owls and stuff? 965 00:38:33,648 --> 00:38:34,816 Yeah, maybe. 966 00:38:36,651 --> 00:38:38,052 Hmm. 967 00:38:38,085 --> 00:38:39,486 FYI, Matt. 968 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:40,521 She's allergic to latex. 969 00:38:40,555 --> 00:38:41,388 Leia! 970 00:38:42,590 --> 00:38:43,456 I'm gonna go. 971 00:38:43,490 --> 00:38:44,292 Okay. 972 00:38:44,324 --> 00:38:45,325 Yeah, great. 973 00:38:49,197 --> 00:38:51,732 It's too hard, Sly. 974 00:38:51,766 --> 00:38:52,600 Talk to me. 975 00:38:52,633 --> 00:38:54,135 What should I do? 976 00:38:54,168 --> 00:38:57,238 Kid, life ain't about how hard you hit. 977 00:38:57,271 --> 00:38:59,640 It's about how hard you can get hit 978 00:38:59,674 --> 00:39:01,441 and keep moving forward. 979 00:39:01,474 --> 00:39:03,277 That's how winning is done. 980 00:39:03,311 --> 00:39:06,047 I hear you loud and clear, Sly. 981 00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:07,380 Fuck her! 982 00:39:07,414 --> 00:39:09,650 Yo, Allan, that's not what I'm saying. 983 00:39:09,684 --> 00:39:10,483 No, no, no. 984 00:39:10,518 --> 00:39:11,319 I got this, Sly. 985 00:39:11,351 --> 00:39:13,221 You don't have to tell me twice. 986 00:39:13,254 --> 00:39:14,288 Fuck her! 987 00:39:14,322 --> 00:39:15,990 Damn it, Allan. 988 00:39:16,023 --> 00:39:18,659 You were so rude just now, I'm speechless. 989 00:39:18,693 --> 00:39:20,161 Then don't speak with your words. 990 00:39:20,194 --> 00:39:22,429 Speak with your fists. 991 00:39:22,462 --> 00:39:23,664 What? 992 00:39:23,698 --> 00:39:26,534 Just spank me like you did that fateful day on March 19th. 993 00:39:26,567 --> 00:39:27,434 Never forget. 994 00:39:27,467 --> 00:39:29,270 Never forget! 995 00:39:30,204 --> 00:39:31,339 Oh, yeah. 996 00:39:31,371 --> 00:39:33,307 This is how it's done. 997 00:39:33,341 --> 00:39:34,141 Hey, bro dog. 998 00:39:34,175 --> 00:39:34,976 Allan. 999 00:39:35,009 --> 00:39:35,977 What did I say 1000 00:39:36,010 --> 00:39:37,778 about not pissing on the bed! 1001 00:39:37,812 --> 00:39:39,780 I'm gonna put you down, you little fucker! 1002 00:39:42,016 --> 00:39:43,184 Die, you fuck! 1003 00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,455 That's not what happened and you know it. 1004 00:39:48,488 --> 00:39:49,857 Yeah. 1005 00:39:49,891 --> 00:39:51,726 This is how it's done. 1006 00:39:53,460 --> 00:39:54,295 Allan. 1007 00:39:54,328 --> 00:39:55,529 Hey, what's up, bro dog? 1008 00:39:55,563 --> 00:39:56,364 Come on, man. 1009 00:39:56,396 --> 00:39:57,365 Don't pee on the bed. 1010 00:39:57,397 --> 00:39:58,232 Jesus! 1011 00:40:01,969 --> 00:40:03,004 Oh, yeah. 1012 00:40:03,037 --> 00:40:05,239 Yeah, I was mad, but I never laid a hand on you. 1013 00:40:05,273 --> 00:40:07,675 Oh, but you wanted to, pal. 1014 00:40:08,709 --> 00:40:10,410 I could see it in your eyes, 1015 00:40:10,443 --> 00:40:12,947 just like the time you were upset over the cable bill. 1016 00:40:12,980 --> 00:40:13,781 Oh, god! 1017 00:40:13,814 --> 00:40:14,849 That again? 1018 00:40:14,882 --> 00:40:16,651 I was out of a job and you signed us up 1019 00:40:16,684 --> 00:40:18,586 for a year's subscription to Hustler TV. 1020 00:40:18,619 --> 00:40:19,921 Do you know how expensive that is? 1021 00:40:19,954 --> 00:40:23,124 I've seen you watching Reservoir Doggy Style 1022 00:40:23,157 --> 00:40:24,424 more than once. 1023 00:40:25,559 --> 00:40:26,360 Well, I mean, yeah. 1024 00:40:26,394 --> 00:40:27,762 I already, I already paid for it. 1025 00:40:27,795 --> 00:40:29,297 Of course I'm gonna watch it. 1026 00:40:29,330 --> 00:40:30,798 Perv. 1027 00:40:30,831 --> 00:40:32,033 Listen, Matt. 1028 00:40:32,066 --> 00:40:33,634 My eyes are open. 1029 00:40:33,668 --> 00:40:35,468 Ellie was just a distraction. 1030 00:40:35,503 --> 00:40:36,771 I say good riddance. 1031 00:40:36,804 --> 00:40:38,806 Allan, you can't be mad at somebody 1032 00:40:38,839 --> 00:40:41,809 just because they don't like you back. 1033 00:40:41,842 --> 00:40:42,677 Hmm. 1034 00:40:43,544 --> 00:40:45,947 I'm sorry, buddy. 1035 00:40:45,980 --> 00:40:48,749 That was harsher than I meant it. 1036 00:40:50,418 --> 00:40:51,919 Oh, come on, dude. 1037 00:40:54,487 --> 00:40:56,724 Dude, say something. 1038 00:40:56,757 --> 00:40:57,725 Forget it. 1039 00:40:57,758 --> 00:40:59,327 But you can make it up to me. 1040 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:00,795 Anything, name it. 1041 00:41:00,828 --> 00:41:01,729 Road trip. 1042 00:41:01,762 --> 00:41:02,630 Where are we going? 1043 00:41:02,663 --> 00:41:03,864 Barrick's. 1044 00:41:03,898 --> 00:41:06,667 But grab your phone, because we have an errand to run first. 1045 00:41:06,701 --> 00:41:10,705 Google radiation suit, midget, Hollywood, cheap. 1046 00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:13,074 Oh, god. 1047 00:41:17,578 --> 00:41:19,013 Allan, I just want you to know 1048 00:41:19,046 --> 00:41:21,882 that I am completely against this. 1049 00:41:23,050 --> 00:41:25,152 You do what you gotta do. 1050 00:41:28,556 --> 00:41:29,957 Hello, Barrick. 1051 00:41:31,192 --> 00:41:32,026 Got a sec? 1052 00:41:34,295 --> 00:41:35,596 What the hell is this? 1053 00:41:35,629 --> 00:41:38,132 You, sir, are getting a hug. 1054 00:41:39,734 --> 00:41:41,702 Is that you, Grumpy Cat? 1055 00:41:41,736 --> 00:41:42,536 Come on, dude. 1056 00:41:42,570 --> 00:41:44,071 Yeah, it is you, isn't it? 1057 00:41:44,105 --> 00:41:45,639 What are you, insane? 1058 00:41:45,673 --> 00:41:47,742 Insane for hogs. 1059 00:41:47,775 --> 00:41:50,444 I have the right to refuse service to anyone, you know. 1060 00:41:50,478 --> 00:41:53,981 You don't have the right to refuse hugs. 1061 00:41:55,616 --> 00:41:56,817 Tommy! 1062 00:41:56,851 --> 00:42:00,721 Tommy, will you remove this thing from the premises, please? 1063 00:42:00,755 --> 00:42:02,256 Knock knock, Barrick. 1064 00:42:02,289 --> 00:42:04,592 Can I talk to the hurt little boy inside you? 1065 00:42:04,625 --> 00:42:07,995 I know he's home, and I know he wants a hug. 1066 00:42:08,029 --> 00:42:08,929 No. 1067 00:42:08,963 --> 00:42:10,364 All right, look. 1068 00:42:10,398 --> 00:42:13,234 You, you stop saying hugs. 1069 00:42:13,267 --> 00:42:14,068 Hugs. 1070 00:42:14,101 --> 00:42:14,902 Hugs, Barrick. 1071 00:42:14,935 --> 00:42:15,736 Hugs! 1072 00:42:15,770 --> 00:42:16,570 Whoa. 1073 00:42:16,604 --> 00:42:17,405 Hugs, hugs, hugs! 1074 00:42:17,438 --> 00:42:19,006 Oh, no. 1075 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,808 That's not great, Allan! 1076 00:42:20,841 --> 00:42:22,243 Give me a hug! 1077 00:42:22,276 --> 00:42:23,277 No! 1078 00:42:23,310 --> 00:42:24,612 Hugs. 1079 00:42:24,645 --> 00:42:25,613 Okay! 1080 00:42:25,646 --> 00:42:27,314 Your allergies are safe, Barrick. 1081 00:42:27,348 --> 00:42:29,717 But love, love gets through the suit! 1082 00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:31,485 Get away from me. 1083 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:32,586 You're crazy! 1084 00:42:34,255 --> 00:42:35,856 I'm sorry, Allan. 1085 00:42:37,124 --> 00:42:37,958 Oops. 1086 00:42:39,326 --> 00:42:40,161 No! 1087 00:42:45,666 --> 00:42:47,001 You're fine, dude. 1088 00:42:47,034 --> 00:42:47,868 No! 1089 00:42:47,902 --> 00:42:51,372 You're not even allergic to dogs. 1090 00:42:51,405 --> 00:42:52,541 Oh. 1091 00:42:52,573 --> 00:42:53,542 Oh, wait. 1092 00:42:53,574 --> 00:42:54,642 No, I see it. 1093 00:42:56,210 --> 00:42:57,044 Oh, boy. 1094 00:42:58,612 --> 00:43:01,048 Tell my mother I love her. 1095 00:43:03,851 --> 00:43:04,685 Oh. 1096 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:06,787 You okay, pal? 1097 00:43:10,424 --> 00:43:11,859 Sounds congested. 1098 00:43:11,892 --> 00:43:13,661 It might be a clogged fuel line. 1099 00:43:13,694 --> 00:43:14,995 All right, I'll take a look. 1100 00:43:15,029 --> 00:43:16,130 Ooh! 1101 00:43:16,163 --> 00:43:17,031 Hey. 1102 00:43:17,064 --> 00:43:18,567 No, oh! 1103 00:43:18,599 --> 00:43:19,400 Gosh, guys. 1104 00:43:19,433 --> 00:43:20,234 Ellie? 1105 00:43:20,267 --> 00:43:21,068 Oh, god, Chuck. 1106 00:43:21,102 --> 00:43:21,936 Hey, Matt. 1107 00:43:21,969 --> 00:43:23,637 Please don't die on me, bud. 1108 00:43:23,671 --> 00:43:24,438 - Ellie, hey. - Oh! 1109 00:43:24,472 --> 00:43:26,107 What's going on here? 1110 00:43:26,140 --> 00:43:27,542 Matt, hi. 1111 00:43:27,576 --> 00:43:29,376 I would like to confirm that everyone is still breathing, 1112 00:43:29,410 --> 00:43:31,112 - if you could. - Oh, my god, yeah. 1113 00:43:31,145 --> 00:43:32,146 Good god. 1114 00:43:32,179 --> 00:43:32,980 - Why did we go this way? - Great, here. 1115 00:43:33,013 --> 00:43:34,014 Here you go, buddy. 1116 00:43:34,048 --> 00:43:35,382 Oh, dear lord. 1117 00:43:35,416 --> 00:43:36,951 She'll kill us all. 1118 00:43:36,984 --> 00:43:39,453 You're all right, dude. 1119 00:43:39,487 --> 00:43:40,621 What a gentleman. 1120 00:43:40,654 --> 00:43:41,722 Hmm, yes. 1121 00:43:41,755 --> 00:43:43,657 Yes, you may pet me, good sir. 1122 00:43:43,691 --> 00:43:45,392 Yeah, ah, yeah. 1123 00:43:45,426 --> 00:43:48,796 Please tell me this young man is a romantic suitor. 1124 00:43:48,829 --> 00:43:52,032 Oh, he beats the hell out of that loser you're dating. 1125 00:43:52,066 --> 00:43:54,368 Was dating, Chuck, past tense. 1126 00:43:54,401 --> 00:43:55,936 She'll go back to him. 1127 00:43:55,970 --> 00:43:57,972 The weak ones always do. 1128 00:43:59,608 --> 00:44:01,576 They know too much. 1129 00:44:01,610 --> 00:44:03,512 Well, you're all clear. 1130 00:44:03,545 --> 00:44:04,778 Thanks. 1131 00:44:04,812 --> 00:44:08,550 I swear I'm not normally endangering their lives like this. 1132 00:44:08,583 --> 00:44:10,017 So, 1133 00:44:10,050 --> 00:44:11,586 this is where you work? 1134 00:44:11,620 --> 00:44:12,554 Oh. 1135 00:44:12,587 --> 00:44:13,921 Yeah, yeah. 1136 00:44:13,954 --> 00:44:15,590 I might actually become co-owner. 1137 00:44:15,624 --> 00:44:18,859 But Allan's not too big on the idea. 1138 00:44:18,893 --> 00:44:19,693 Look, about the other day, 1139 00:44:19,727 --> 00:44:22,096 I feel so bad about what happened. 1140 00:44:22,129 --> 00:44:23,130 No, don't. 1141 00:44:24,098 --> 00:44:24,899 It's okay. 1142 00:44:24,932 --> 00:44:26,767 It's partly my fault. 1143 00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:28,369 When I realized Allan had a crush on me, 1144 00:44:28,402 --> 00:44:30,437 I should have just talked to all about it. 1145 00:44:30,471 --> 00:44:31,540 I shouldn't have tried to deflect 1146 00:44:31,573 --> 00:44:33,908 by setting him up with Princess Leia. 1147 00:44:33,941 --> 00:44:35,376 I'm bummed though. 1148 00:44:35,409 --> 00:44:37,512 I really thought they would hit it off. 1149 00:44:37,546 --> 00:44:39,013 Please fall. 1150 00:44:39,046 --> 00:44:40,447 Please fall. 1151 00:44:40,481 --> 00:44:41,949 I won't kill you. 1152 00:44:41,982 --> 00:44:43,384 Please fall. 1153 00:44:50,659 --> 00:44:52,426 Oh, daddy likey! 1154 00:44:52,459 --> 00:44:57,566 But daddy has to be patient. 1155 00:44:57,599 --> 00:45:00,000 A lotta future poop out there, boss. 1156 00:45:00,034 --> 00:45:02,303 Kevin! 1157 00:45:02,336 --> 00:45:03,137 I was in a mood! 1158 00:45:03,170 --> 00:45:04,104 You pulled me right out. 1159 00:45:04,138 --> 00:45:05,306 Damn it! 1160 00:45:05,339 --> 00:45:10,144 When things cool off, maybe you can walk Allan again. 1161 00:45:10,177 --> 00:45:11,912 I would love that. 1162 00:45:11,946 --> 00:45:14,748 And hey, was I super high the other day, 1163 00:45:14,782 --> 00:45:16,618 or did you ask me out? 1164 00:45:17,785 --> 00:45:18,786 Oh. 1165 00:45:18,819 --> 00:45:19,920 No, you're right on both. 1166 00:45:19,954 --> 00:45:22,557 You were super high, and I definitely asked you out. 1167 00:45:24,758 --> 00:45:28,597 Look, why don't we just start over, hmm? 1168 00:45:28,630 --> 00:45:30,030 Why don't Princess Leia and I 1169 00:45:30,064 --> 00:45:33,968 have you and Allan over for a little tea party? 1170 00:45:34,001 --> 00:45:35,336 Like biscuits? 1171 00:45:35,369 --> 00:45:38,272 Yeah, that's what a tea party is. 1172 00:45:38,305 --> 00:45:39,206 Yeah. 1173 00:45:39,240 --> 00:45:40,040 Yeah. 1174 00:45:40,074 --> 00:45:42,343 That's, I love. I'd love that. 1175 00:45:42,376 --> 00:45:43,944 But yeah, that sounds great. 1176 00:45:43,978 --> 00:45:44,778 Great. 1177 00:45:44,812 --> 00:45:45,680 Cool, awesome. 1178 00:45:45,714 --> 00:45:46,514 I'll say then. 1179 00:45:46,548 --> 00:45:47,348 - Great, yeah. - All right. 1180 00:45:47,381 --> 00:45:48,249 Bye, Matt. 1181 00:45:48,282 --> 00:45:49,618 Bye. 1182 00:45:49,651 --> 00:45:50,451 Oh. 1183 00:45:50,484 --> 00:45:51,285 Ow! 1184 00:45:51,318 --> 00:45:53,320 Sorry, I just hit you. 1185 00:45:54,221 --> 00:45:55,022 Sorry. 1186 00:45:55,055 --> 00:45:55,856 Yeah, I'll see you later. 1187 00:45:55,889 --> 00:45:57,057 Okay. 1188 00:45:57,091 --> 00:45:57,925 Bye. 1189 00:45:59,860 --> 00:46:01,195 Are we on, Tommy? 1190 00:46:01,228 --> 00:46:04,398 Matt and I need our big break, now more than ever. 1191 00:46:04,431 --> 00:46:05,232 Confirmed. 1192 00:46:05,266 --> 00:46:06,166 The Booker will be at the club 1193 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:08,235 scouting fresh meat tomorrow night. 1194 00:46:08,269 --> 00:46:10,672 So I can get you into the green room, Allan, 1195 00:46:10,705 --> 00:46:13,107 but after that, things get hairy. 1196 00:46:13,140 --> 00:46:15,042 Oh, I wouldn't worry. 1197 00:46:15,075 --> 00:46:17,244 I'm a little hairy myself. 1198 00:46:18,479 --> 00:46:20,515 Get in here, big spoonsies. 1199 00:46:20,548 --> 00:46:21,482 Oh, right there. 1200 00:46:21,516 --> 00:46:22,416 Get in there. 1201 00:46:22,449 --> 00:46:23,250 Nice. 1202 00:46:25,819 --> 00:46:27,722 It's now or never, Matt. 1203 00:46:27,756 --> 00:46:29,957 Tomorrow's show is everything. 1204 00:46:29,990 --> 00:46:32,426 Allan, you're doing it again, my man, 1205 00:46:32,459 --> 00:46:35,195 putting way too much pressure on this thing. 1206 00:46:35,229 --> 00:46:36,564 Besides, we're probably gonna get kicked out 1207 00:46:36,598 --> 00:46:38,633 the second Barrick sees us anyways. 1208 00:46:38,667 --> 00:46:41,402 Just vibing some positive thinking, broseph. 1209 00:46:41,435 --> 00:46:44,872 I say we both think super positive stuff 1210 00:46:44,905 --> 00:46:48,475 while we go to sleep in the spoons posish. 1211 00:46:48,510 --> 00:46:50,679 We can do that, Allan. 1212 00:46:50,712 --> 00:46:52,781 But no matter what, we got each other. 1213 00:46:52,813 --> 00:46:54,783 Don't forget that. 1214 00:46:54,815 --> 00:46:55,650 I know. 1215 00:46:57,017 --> 00:46:58,919 You remember the last time I told you that? 1216 00:46:58,952 --> 00:47:02,356 Oh, the day we became furry buddy champions. 1217 00:47:02,389 --> 00:47:04,058 Ninth annual, baby! 1218 00:47:04,091 --> 00:47:04,925 Baby! 1219 00:47:12,132 --> 00:47:13,802 Mm-hmm. 1220 00:47:26,514 --> 00:47:30,084 Did I mention I ran into Ellie today? 1221 00:47:30,117 --> 00:47:31,185 Oh, yeah? 1222 00:47:31,218 --> 00:47:32,319 Yeah. 1223 00:47:32,353 --> 00:47:33,788 It was cool. 1224 00:47:33,822 --> 00:47:35,889 She wants to hang out with us, 1225 00:47:35,923 --> 00:47:37,458 with her and Princess Leia. 1226 00:47:37,491 --> 00:47:39,627 Re-he-he-heally? 1227 00:47:39,661 --> 00:47:43,163 Yeah, nothing profesh, just over at their place, 1228 00:47:43,197 --> 00:47:45,199 maybe before Operation Booker tomorrow. 1229 00:47:45,232 --> 00:47:46,735 Re-he-he-heally? 1230 00:47:48,268 --> 00:47:49,704 Why do you keep doing that, Allan? 1231 00:47:49,738 --> 00:47:51,171 Because she digs me, dude. 1232 00:47:51,205 --> 00:47:52,507 I knew she'd come running back. 1233 00:47:52,540 --> 00:47:55,109 Allan, you can't do that, bro. 1234 00:47:55,142 --> 00:47:56,076 If you're gonna act like that, 1235 00:47:56,110 --> 00:47:57,378 then we're not going over there. 1236 00:47:57,411 --> 00:47:58,212 Okay, okay. 1237 00:47:58,245 --> 00:48:00,414 Don't get biz-zay with the tis-zay. 1238 00:48:00,447 --> 00:48:01,850 I'm cool. 1239 00:48:01,882 --> 00:48:03,317 All right, cool, 1240 00:48:03,350 --> 00:48:06,987 because you need to apologize, especially to Princess Leia. 1241 00:48:07,020 --> 00:48:08,590 She digs you, dude. 1242 00:48:09,923 --> 00:48:12,126 She's cool, and she's cute. 1243 00:48:12,159 --> 00:48:15,062 But Matt, the heart wants what the heart wants. 1244 00:48:15,095 --> 00:48:16,798 And if I don't wanna wreck your face, 1245 00:48:16,831 --> 00:48:19,333 I don't wanna wreck your face. 1246 00:48:21,770 --> 00:48:23,036 Goodnight, Allan. 1247 00:48:23,070 --> 00:48:24,606 Goodnight, buddy. 1248 00:48:28,576 --> 00:48:29,744 Hey, guys. 1249 00:48:29,778 --> 00:48:31,178 Mah lady. 1250 00:48:31,211 --> 00:48:32,045 Ellie. 1251 00:48:34,181 --> 00:48:35,149 Hi, guys, 1252 00:48:35,182 --> 00:48:36,785 Princess. 1253 00:48:38,185 --> 00:48:40,588 Would you two like some tea? 1254 00:48:40,622 --> 00:48:41,689 Oh. 1255 00:48:41,723 --> 00:48:42,524 Sure. 1256 00:48:42,557 --> 00:48:43,725 Yeah. 1257 00:48:43,758 --> 00:48:44,859 Weed scone? 1258 00:48:47,394 --> 00:48:48,663 - Not for me. - I don't really like scones. 1259 00:48:48,696 --> 00:48:49,496 I'm watching my glutes. 1260 00:48:49,531 --> 00:48:50,330 Yeah. 1261 00:48:50,364 --> 00:48:52,933 Low dose marijuana gummy bear? 1262 00:48:52,966 --> 00:48:54,569 Yeah, that sounds great. 1263 00:48:54,602 --> 00:48:55,703 You know what? 1264 00:48:55,737 --> 00:49:00,207 Before we enjoy tea and whatever drugs are laying around. 1265 00:49:01,676 --> 00:49:04,978 can I please address the elephant in the room? 1266 00:49:05,012 --> 00:49:06,180 Absolutely. 1267 00:49:06,213 --> 00:49:07,549 Great. 1268 00:49:07,582 --> 00:49:12,019 I would like to form apol, that's formally apologize, 1269 00:49:12,052 --> 00:49:13,922 for my behavior the other day. 1270 00:49:13,954 --> 00:49:14,955 I was hurt. 1271 00:49:14,988 --> 00:49:17,659 And you know, my emotions got the best of me. 1272 00:49:17,692 --> 00:49:18,893 And look, I get it. 1273 00:49:18,927 --> 00:49:21,328 You know, dogs and humans, they don't make the best couples. 1274 00:49:21,361 --> 00:49:24,231 But just FYI, I was doing some googling 1275 00:49:24,264 --> 00:49:26,166 and there actually was a case 1276 00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:30,003 of a canine-human marriage in Australia in 1907. 1277 00:49:30,037 --> 00:49:32,574 And apparently, they were terrific together. 1278 00:49:32,607 --> 00:49:34,408 But hey, it doesn't apply here, 1279 00:49:34,441 --> 00:49:37,377 but yeah, I just found it interesting, yeah. 1280 00:49:37,411 --> 00:49:40,447 Hmm, well, thank you for the form apol, Allan. 1281 00:49:40,481 --> 00:49:42,282 That's very big view. 1282 00:49:42,316 --> 00:49:43,350 Oh, well, thanks. 1283 00:49:43,383 --> 00:49:46,987 But, you know, I actually owe a special apology 1284 00:49:47,020 --> 00:49:49,089 to the Princess here. 1285 00:49:49,122 --> 00:49:51,759 Mah lady, could we have a word in private? 1286 00:49:51,793 --> 00:49:52,794 Um, sure. 1287 00:49:57,364 --> 00:49:59,868 What is it with this girl and owls? 1288 00:49:59,901 --> 00:50:01,669 Tell me about it. 1289 00:50:01,703 --> 00:50:02,704 Every month or so, 1290 00:50:02,737 --> 00:50:05,372 I utterly destroy something with an owl on it. 1291 00:50:05,405 --> 00:50:08,108 Keeps me sane. 1292 00:50:08,141 --> 00:50:11,445 And look, I am sorry for being a jerk the other day, 1293 00:50:11,478 --> 00:50:12,514 but I can't deny it. 1294 00:50:12,547 --> 00:50:14,481 I'm in love with Ellie. 1295 00:50:15,917 --> 00:50:16,718 What? 1296 00:50:16,751 --> 00:50:18,720 Why do you even care? 1297 00:50:18,753 --> 00:50:22,757 You know, for such a smart dog, you're really dumb. 1298 00:50:22,790 --> 00:50:24,358 She's human. 1299 00:50:24,391 --> 00:50:27,160 And I'm the runt of the litter. 1300 00:50:27,194 --> 00:50:28,161 I get it. 1301 00:50:28,195 --> 00:50:30,865 But this runt is gonna be big someday. 1302 00:50:30,899 --> 00:50:33,400 Fame doesn't make you special, Allan. 1303 00:50:33,433 --> 00:50:38,105 What makes you special is who you are and who loves you. 1304 00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:42,744 If you don't know that, you're in trouble. 1305 00:50:45,580 --> 00:50:46,681 Whatcha thinking? 1306 00:50:46,714 --> 00:50:47,515 Oh. 1307 00:50:47,549 --> 00:50:48,348 Oh, nothing. 1308 00:50:48,382 --> 00:50:49,584 Just that it's no use to argue 1309 00:50:49,617 --> 00:50:52,620 because I don't care what you think. 1310 00:50:56,524 --> 00:50:57,457 I'm glad you guys came over. 1311 00:50:57,491 --> 00:50:58,292 Yeah, me too. 1312 00:50:58,325 --> 00:50:59,794 Yeah, cool. 1313 00:50:59,827 --> 00:51:00,828 Yeah. 1314 00:51:00,862 --> 00:51:01,663 Oh. 1315 00:51:01,696 --> 00:51:02,530 Oh. 1316 00:51:11,639 --> 00:51:12,807 Not tongue. 1317 00:51:18,145 --> 00:51:20,882 Oh, god. 1318 00:51:22,282 --> 00:51:23,585 No, why? 1319 00:51:23,618 --> 00:51:24,451 That dick! 1320 00:51:26,153 --> 00:51:29,023 It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. 1321 00:51:29,057 --> 00:51:30,058 I'll kill him. 1322 00:51:30,123 --> 00:51:31,358 Yeah, I'm gonna kill him. 1323 00:51:31,391 --> 00:51:32,225 It's okay. 1324 00:51:40,568 --> 00:51:42,570 They've been in there a while. 1325 00:51:42,604 --> 00:51:46,774 Think they're hooking up? 1326 00:51:46,808 --> 00:51:48,076 I don't know. 1327 00:51:49,744 --> 00:51:51,746 Is Allan neutered? 1328 00:51:53,347 --> 00:51:54,414 Oh! 1329 00:51:54,448 --> 00:51:55,282 Leia! 1330 00:51:56,249 --> 00:51:57,852 Honey, what's wrong? 1331 00:51:57,885 --> 00:51:59,554 What's wrong? 1332 00:51:59,587 --> 00:52:01,623 I've been in here crying for 10 minutes, 1333 00:52:01,656 --> 00:52:06,561 waiting to be held and consoled! 1334 00:52:06,594 --> 00:52:07,862 I'm so sorry, honey. 1335 00:52:07,895 --> 00:52:10,130 We thought you were in here with Allan. 1336 00:52:10,163 --> 00:52:12,066 Yeah, where is Allan? 1337 00:52:13,568 --> 00:52:14,702 Wait a minute. 1338 00:52:15,903 --> 00:52:16,971 Oh, my god. 1339 00:52:17,005 --> 00:52:19,473 You don't think he saw... 1340 00:52:19,507 --> 00:52:20,307 Oh. 1341 00:52:20,340 --> 00:52:21,109 Fuck. 1342 00:52:21,141 --> 00:52:21,943 Allan? 1343 00:52:21,976 --> 00:52:23,745 Where are you, buddy? 1344 00:52:27,515 --> 00:52:29,984 Keep it together, Allan. 1345 00:52:30,018 --> 00:52:32,020 Don't do anything brash. 1346 00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:35,023 All right, buckaroo. 1347 00:52:35,056 --> 00:52:37,224 You got a lot going on right now. 1348 00:52:37,257 --> 00:52:39,426 Just concentrate on the task at hand. 1349 00:52:39,459 --> 00:52:40,260 Everything's gonna be good. 1350 00:52:40,293 --> 00:52:41,562 Just think about it. 1351 00:52:41,596 --> 00:52:45,265 When you're famous and your face is on all those magazines 1352 00:52:45,298 --> 00:52:46,934 and you're gonna have money coming out... 1353 00:52:50,705 --> 00:52:51,539 Success. 1354 00:52:52,472 --> 00:52:53,306 Allan? 1355 00:52:55,342 --> 00:52:56,644 Hello, Matt. 1356 00:52:56,678 --> 00:52:58,478 If you're listening to this message, 1357 00:52:58,513 --> 00:53:00,915 you've either found or will soon find 1358 00:53:00,948 --> 00:53:03,618 the present I left on the bed. 1359 00:53:03,651 --> 00:53:04,919 I'm sooo sorry. 1360 00:53:06,854 --> 00:53:07,789 I didn't know what I was doing. 1361 00:53:07,822 --> 00:53:10,658 I was just feeling so confused and anxious 1362 00:53:10,692 --> 00:53:14,227 after seeing you mouth rape the love of my life. 1363 00:53:14,261 --> 00:53:16,798 And don't bother coming to the show tonight, dude. 1364 00:53:16,831 --> 00:53:19,366 Your heart was never into performing anyway. 1365 00:53:19,399 --> 00:53:21,769 It's all good, because I don't need you. 1366 00:53:21,803 --> 00:53:23,638 I don't need anybody. 1367 00:53:46,661 --> 00:53:48,428 Indians, we deal with stereotypes, you know, 1368 00:53:48,462 --> 00:53:49,997 just like any other ethnic group. 1369 00:53:50,031 --> 00:53:51,231 My friends tell me, you know, 1370 00:53:51,264 --> 00:53:54,301 "Hey, but Indians, you guys got some positive stereotypes. 1371 00:53:54,334 --> 00:53:56,236 "So that's a good thing, right?" 1372 00:53:56,269 --> 00:53:58,506 I go, "Well, it's not positive 1373 00:53:58,539 --> 00:53:59,974 "if you're not living up to them." 1374 00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:01,909 I go, "People come up to me and be like, 1375 00:54:01,943 --> 00:54:03,477 'So what are you, like a doctor or something?'" 1376 00:54:03,511 --> 00:54:05,079 No, absolutely not. 1377 00:54:06,446 --> 00:54:07,648 Thanks for bringing that shit up. 1378 00:54:09,617 --> 00:54:11,719 Any baby comics you got your eye on? 1379 00:54:11,753 --> 00:54:13,020 Eh, one or two. 1380 00:54:13,054 --> 00:54:14,454 Somebody will surprise you tonight. 1381 00:54:14,488 --> 00:54:18,291 And I got you and I a couple of dates. 1382 00:54:18,325 --> 00:54:19,127 Oh, okay. 1383 00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:19,961 Yeah. 1384 00:54:19,994 --> 00:54:20,795 All right. 1385 00:54:20,828 --> 00:54:21,896 Whoa whoa whoa, hey. 1386 00:54:21,929 --> 00:54:23,030 Big man, big man. 1387 00:54:23,064 --> 00:54:26,934 Say, after your set, maybe you'll favor us 1388 00:54:26,968 --> 00:54:30,071 with a round of the famous Manhattan, sir. 1389 00:54:30,104 --> 00:54:32,540 You got it, Barrick. 1390 00:54:37,377 --> 00:54:38,246 Excuse me, fellas. 1391 00:54:38,278 --> 00:54:39,412 It seems my lunch is... 1392 00:54:43,283 --> 00:54:44,552 Enjoy the show. 1393 00:54:45,787 --> 00:54:48,523 You might wanna check that out, bruh. 1394 00:54:48,556 --> 00:54:50,024 I think it's the altitude. 1395 00:54:50,057 --> 00:54:52,794 ♪ And she likes my taste in art ♪ 1396 00:54:52,827 --> 00:54:54,327 ♪ She can cook a mean roast ♪ 1397 00:54:54,361 --> 00:54:55,663 ♪ She lets me suck her toes ♪ 1398 00:54:55,696 --> 00:54:58,533 ♪ And she likes to have sex in cars ♪ 1399 00:54:58,566 --> 00:55:02,469 ♪ She's perfect, except that the bitch has cats ♪ 1400 00:55:02,503 --> 00:55:05,173 ♪ And I hate fucking cats ♪ 1401 00:55:05,206 --> 00:55:07,875 ♪ Cue up the asthma attack ♪ 1402 00:55:07,909 --> 00:55:11,279 ♪ All 'cause the bitch has cats ♪ 1403 00:55:11,311 --> 00:55:13,681 ♪ Oh, the bitch has cats ♪ 1404 00:55:13,714 --> 00:55:14,549 Okay. 1405 00:55:19,319 --> 00:55:21,722 Oh, chicken taquitos! 1406 00:55:21,756 --> 00:55:23,024 I'm sorry, Tommy. 1407 00:55:23,057 --> 00:55:25,358 I get flatulent when I get nervous. 1408 00:55:25,392 --> 00:55:26,426 So what's the plan? 1409 00:55:26,459 --> 00:55:27,895 When they introduce my set, 1410 00:55:27,929 --> 00:55:31,132 you stroll out like it's Sunday afternoon, take the mic. 1411 00:55:31,165 --> 00:55:33,901 You know, Barrick is not gonna like it. 1412 00:55:33,935 --> 00:55:35,269 I guess we'll see how far he's willing to take it 1413 00:55:35,303 --> 00:55:37,104 in front of a packed house. 1414 00:55:37,138 --> 00:55:37,972 Is, 1415 00:55:38,806 --> 00:55:39,874 is Matt ready? 1416 00:55:39,907 --> 00:55:41,441 Oh, change of plans. 1417 00:55:41,474 --> 00:55:43,911 Matt won't be joining us tonight. 1418 00:55:43,945 --> 00:55:44,812 What? 1419 00:55:44,846 --> 00:55:45,847 What are you, 1420 00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:47,849 but guys are a duo. 1421 00:55:47,882 --> 00:55:49,016 Where is he? 1422 00:55:49,050 --> 00:55:50,585 Oh, you know, he's dead. 1423 00:55:50,618 --> 00:55:51,418 What? 1424 00:55:51,451 --> 00:55:52,253 Yep, yep. 1425 00:55:52,286 --> 00:55:53,888 No, long story, but he's dead 1426 00:55:53,921 --> 00:55:55,256 and you can just post it on your Facebook page. 1427 00:55:55,289 --> 00:55:56,090 We're good. 1428 00:55:56,123 --> 00:55:57,058 What happened? 1429 00:55:57,091 --> 00:55:58,793 You know, it's unclear. 1430 00:55:58,826 --> 00:56:01,361 But yeah, you don't have to think about Matt ever again. 1431 00:56:01,394 --> 00:56:03,030 My god, when is the autopsy? 1432 00:56:03,064 --> 00:56:05,600 Oh, you know, I don't know but... 1433 00:56:05,633 --> 00:56:06,567 You don't even know? 1434 00:56:06,601 --> 00:56:07,400 No. 1435 00:56:07,434 --> 00:56:08,236 What do you know? 1436 00:56:08,269 --> 00:56:09,070 You know what? 1437 00:56:09,103 --> 00:56:09,937 I'm getting game face for my set, 1438 00:56:09,971 --> 00:56:11,739 so it's kinda hard to like focus on the, 1439 00:56:11,772 --> 00:56:13,708 - on the past. - That's a fast turn, Allan. 1440 00:56:13,741 --> 00:56:14,542 Oh. 1441 00:56:14,575 --> 00:56:15,375 Well, it's a little brutal. 1442 00:56:15,408 --> 00:56:16,210 That's dark, man. 1443 00:56:16,244 --> 00:56:17,044 Yeah, yeah. 1444 00:56:17,078 --> 00:56:19,013 ♪ And I'd give anything ♪ 1445 00:56:19,046 --> 00:56:22,316 ♪ Just to get between her thighs ♪ 1446 00:56:22,350 --> 00:56:25,119 ♪ Oh, but she ♪ 1447 00:56:25,152 --> 00:56:28,356 ♪ She only likes black guys ♪ 1448 00:56:28,388 --> 00:56:29,456 All right, thank you. 1449 00:56:29,489 --> 00:56:30,490 I'm Brian Ports. 1450 00:56:30,524 --> 00:56:32,326 Let's keep it going for your next comic, 1451 00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:35,529 the very funny and well-endowed, Tommy! 1452 00:56:41,903 --> 00:56:45,405 I took a shit on my owner's bed tonight. 1453 00:56:46,340 --> 00:56:50,177 Yeah, like the horse head in Godfather. 1454 00:56:50,211 --> 00:56:51,679 Message sent. 1455 00:56:54,982 --> 00:56:55,883 Stop the show! 1456 00:56:55,917 --> 00:56:57,151 Stop the show! 1457 00:56:57,184 --> 00:56:57,985 You! 1458 00:56:58,019 --> 00:56:59,587 You get off the stage! 1459 00:56:59,620 --> 00:57:02,757 This thing is not supposed to be in the lineup. 1460 00:57:02,790 --> 00:57:04,692 Dude, what are you doing? 1461 00:57:04,725 --> 00:57:07,061 That was the biggest laugh so far tonight. 1462 00:57:07,094 --> 00:57:08,896 Booker, I'm allergic. 1463 00:57:08,930 --> 00:57:10,831 If he touches me, I could die! 1464 00:57:10,865 --> 00:57:12,533 He won't touch you. 1465 00:57:12,566 --> 00:57:15,435 Come on, let the dog have his day. 1466 00:57:15,468 --> 00:57:16,737 Relax. 1467 00:57:16,771 --> 00:57:18,438 Well, make up your mind, Barrick. 1468 00:57:18,471 --> 00:57:20,841 I got some dick jokes that people need to hear. 1469 00:57:22,243 --> 00:57:23,044 I could die. 1470 00:57:23,077 --> 00:57:24,178 So what, right? 1471 00:57:24,211 --> 00:57:27,748 Yeah, I'm gonna be making pushy pushy bouncy bouncy 1472 00:57:27,782 --> 00:57:29,449 with one of these young ladies later anyway, 1473 00:57:29,482 --> 00:57:31,484 so difference does it make? 1474 00:57:31,519 --> 00:57:32,954 Carry on! 1475 00:57:32,987 --> 00:57:35,890 Puss in boots. 1476 00:57:35,923 --> 00:57:36,757 Huh? 1477 00:57:36,791 --> 00:57:38,893 Well, okay then. 1478 00:57:38,926 --> 00:57:41,329 Let's talk about my furry dick. 1479 00:57:44,398 --> 00:57:47,969 Why do I even care? 1480 00:57:48,002 --> 00:57:50,438 This is what I get for lowering my emotional walls 1481 00:57:50,470 --> 00:57:53,074 for another self-centered jerk! 1482 00:57:54,742 --> 00:57:55,576 Oh. 1483 00:57:56,777 --> 00:57:58,980 May I destroy an owl pillow? 1484 00:57:59,013 --> 00:58:01,481 You know, to get my mind off things. 1485 00:58:01,515 --> 00:58:03,718 Oh, of course, honey. 1486 00:58:03,751 --> 00:58:06,954 Here, you can destroy this one. 1487 00:58:06,988 --> 00:58:07,822 Uh, no. 1488 00:58:08,823 --> 00:58:11,859 It kinda needs to be one you really care about. 1489 00:58:11,892 --> 00:58:13,027 Oh. 1490 00:58:13,060 --> 00:58:14,662 Okay. 1491 00:58:14,695 --> 00:58:15,495 Why? 1492 00:58:15,529 --> 00:58:17,531 I can't explain it, okay? 1493 00:58:17,565 --> 00:58:20,868 Just, I'm just, not a shitty one, okay? 1494 00:58:20,901 --> 00:58:24,739 I'm very, I'm very emotional right now. 1495 00:58:24,772 --> 00:58:25,573 Okay, okay. 1496 00:58:25,606 --> 00:58:26,474 Here, here you go. 1497 00:58:26,507 --> 00:58:29,677 You know, I like this one quite a lot. 1498 00:58:30,544 --> 00:58:31,679 - You can, you can destroy this. - Oh, yes. 1499 00:58:31,712 --> 00:58:32,913 Oh, perfect. 1500 00:58:32,947 --> 00:58:34,448 Thank you so much. 1501 00:58:35,716 --> 00:58:40,021 You better check yourself before you wreck yourself! 1502 00:58:46,394 --> 00:58:48,929 And then the elephant gets pissed 1503 00:58:48,963 --> 00:58:51,232 and turns to the zebra and goes, 1504 00:58:51,265 --> 00:58:53,000 "That was a terrible call, ref." 1505 00:58:54,935 --> 00:58:55,903 All right, that's my time. 1506 00:58:55,936 --> 00:58:56,737 Peace! 1507 00:59:00,408 --> 00:59:01,942 Hey, Allan, hold up. 1508 00:59:01,976 --> 00:59:03,644 I like your stuff, dude. 1509 00:59:03,677 --> 00:59:06,213 Hey, it's the infamous Booker. 1510 00:59:06,247 --> 00:59:07,081 Thanks, man. 1511 00:59:07,114 --> 00:59:08,849 You know, I saw you on stage tonight 1512 00:59:08,883 --> 00:59:09,784 and I said to myself, 1513 00:59:09,817 --> 00:59:12,720 that dog deserves a much larger audience. 1514 00:59:12,753 --> 00:59:16,824 I want you on Live Tonight with Kenny Baker tomorrow night. 1515 00:59:16,857 --> 00:59:18,492 Your life's about to change, Allan. 1516 00:59:18,527 --> 00:59:19,593 Are you ready for this? 1517 00:59:19,627 --> 00:59:22,363 I was adopted ready. 1518 00:59:22,396 --> 00:59:23,898 Hey, Allan, you got a place to stay tonight? 1519 00:59:23,931 --> 00:59:24,732 No, man. 1520 00:59:24,765 --> 00:59:25,699 No worries. 1521 00:59:25,733 --> 00:59:26,535 I'll send my car. 1522 00:59:26,567 --> 00:59:27,635 You can stay with me. 1523 00:59:27,668 --> 00:59:28,469 Sweet! 1524 00:59:28,503 --> 00:59:29,303 All right, brother. 1525 00:59:29,336 --> 00:59:32,106 Thanks, Booker. 1526 00:59:40,081 --> 00:59:41,082 Now, ladies and gentlemen, 1527 00:59:41,115 --> 00:59:45,786 we have a real treat coming up, which is ironic 1528 00:59:45,820 --> 00:59:49,990 because our next guest absolutely loves treats. 1529 00:59:50,024 --> 00:59:51,425 Allan, the dog. 1530 00:59:53,060 --> 00:59:54,328 Who here likes cats? 1531 00:59:54,361 --> 00:59:55,463 And I want honesty. 1532 00:59:55,496 --> 00:59:57,665 With a show of hands, just go ahead and raise 'em up. 1533 00:59:57,698 --> 00:59:58,499 It's okay. 1534 00:59:58,533 --> 00:59:59,733 Who here likes cats? 1535 00:59:59,767 --> 01:00:01,735 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 1536 01:00:01,769 --> 01:00:02,837 Now get the fuck out. 1537 01:00:06,273 --> 01:00:07,708 Welcome back, everyone. 1538 01:00:07,741 --> 01:00:10,177 Allan, so great to talk with you. 1539 01:00:10,211 --> 01:00:12,813 You are a really funny dog. 1540 01:00:12,847 --> 01:00:14,415 Oh, well, thank you, Kenny. 1541 01:00:14,448 --> 01:00:15,616 You're a funny human. 1542 01:00:17,451 --> 01:00:22,223 Well, before I forget, unbelievable guest coming up next. 1543 01:00:22,256 --> 01:00:25,426 The Italian stallion himself, 1544 01:00:25,459 --> 01:00:27,795 Mr. Sylvester Stallone will be with us. 1545 01:00:27,828 --> 01:00:30,164 Are you kidding me? 1546 01:00:30,197 --> 01:00:31,932 Oh, you must be a big fan. 1547 01:00:31,966 --> 01:00:34,101 Happy boners don't lie, Kenny. 1548 01:00:34,135 --> 01:00:35,169 Hello. 1549 01:00:35,202 --> 01:00:37,705 I guess we're gonna need the old black strip, huh? 1550 01:00:37,738 --> 01:00:38,573 Stay with us. 1551 01:00:38,607 --> 01:00:40,674 Sylvester Stallone, coming up next. 1552 01:00:40,708 --> 01:00:42,743 Is he coming out right now? 1553 01:00:42,776 --> 01:00:43,578 Sly! 1554 01:00:43,612 --> 01:00:44,445 Sly! 1555 01:00:47,314 --> 01:00:50,718 I gotta be at the garage early tomorrow. 1556 01:00:50,751 --> 01:00:52,554 I'm gonna accept Stan's offer. 1557 01:00:52,587 --> 01:00:53,988 There's nothing holding me back now. 1558 01:00:54,021 --> 01:00:55,689 Will you talk to me, Matt? 1559 01:00:55,723 --> 01:00:57,057 I can practically hear the walls 1560 01:00:57,091 --> 01:00:59,528 being constructed around your heart. 1561 01:00:59,561 --> 01:01:03,397 Matt, communication is very important to Ellie, 1562 01:01:03,430 --> 01:01:06,333 and I noticed a lack of it recently. 1563 01:01:06,367 --> 01:01:07,468 Ever since Allan left, 1564 01:01:07,502 --> 01:01:09,737 you've become increasingly distant and moody. 1565 01:01:09,770 --> 01:01:11,939 Look, I'm happy for him. 1566 01:01:11,972 --> 01:01:13,542 It's just hard because I always thought 1567 01:01:13,575 --> 01:01:15,876 I was the one keeping Allan grounded, 1568 01:01:15,910 --> 01:01:18,012 reminding him of the important things in life. 1569 01:01:18,045 --> 01:01:19,548 But all this time, 1570 01:01:21,081 --> 01:01:23,417 I was just holding him back. 1571 01:01:25,886 --> 01:01:28,322 Right now, I need to be alone. 1572 01:01:28,355 --> 01:01:29,190 I'm sorry. 1573 01:01:31,926 --> 01:01:33,260 Princess Leia. 1574 01:01:36,864 --> 01:01:39,266 I feel a cry sesh coming on. 1575 01:01:39,300 --> 01:01:40,201 Oh. 1576 01:01:40,234 --> 01:01:41,202 Okay. 1577 01:01:41,235 --> 01:01:44,606 I'll go get our blankie and our Lisa Loeb CD. 1578 01:01:44,639 --> 01:01:46,106 - Okay, thank you. - Okay? 1579 01:01:46,140 --> 01:01:48,809 Okay. 1580 01:01:48,842 --> 01:01:51,513 ♪ You say ♪ 1581 01:01:51,546 --> 01:01:53,781 ♪ I only hear what I want to ♪ 1582 01:01:53,814 --> 01:01:55,416 ♪ I don't listen hard ♪ 1583 01:01:55,449 --> 01:01:58,419 ♪ Don't pay attention to the distance that you're running ♪ 1584 01:01:58,452 --> 01:02:00,087 ♪ To anyone, anywhere ♪ 1585 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:03,190 ♪ I don't understand if you really care ♪ 1586 01:02:03,224 --> 01:02:04,858 ♪ I'm only hearing negative ♪ 1587 01:02:04,892 --> 01:02:07,795 ♪ No, no, no, no ♪ 1588 01:02:13,167 --> 01:02:14,735 Cats are so dumb. 1589 01:02:16,470 --> 01:02:17,271 I don't have a joke. 1590 01:02:17,304 --> 01:02:18,607 I just thought that was interesting. 1591 01:02:21,742 --> 01:02:24,178 It's really great to be here. 1592 01:02:24,211 --> 01:02:25,112 But I have to admit, 1593 01:02:25,145 --> 01:02:27,314 I did not realize this was a strip club. 1594 01:02:28,182 --> 01:02:29,250 Daisy, nice work. 1595 01:02:43,464 --> 01:02:44,566 Meow means no. 1596 01:02:44,599 --> 01:02:45,399 It does. 1597 01:02:45,432 --> 01:02:46,367 Meow means no. 1598 01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,503 That's why I use duct tape. 1599 01:03:33,548 --> 01:03:34,381 Oh. 1600 01:03:36,817 --> 01:03:37,652 Hey. 1601 01:03:38,753 --> 01:03:39,587 Hey. 1602 01:03:41,488 --> 01:03:42,289 Good talk. 1603 01:03:42,323 --> 01:03:43,123 - See you later. - No, no. 1604 01:03:43,157 --> 01:03:44,659 Wait, Allan, look. 1605 01:03:45,627 --> 01:03:48,095 I saw you on Live Tonight. 1606 01:03:48,128 --> 01:03:49,764 You kicked ass, man. 1607 01:03:49,798 --> 01:03:51,131 Thanks. 1608 01:03:51,165 --> 01:03:53,267 I'm really excited for you 1609 01:03:53,300 --> 01:03:54,134 and proud. 1610 01:03:55,102 --> 01:03:55,936 Thanks. 1611 01:03:57,338 --> 01:03:59,440 I met Sylvester Stallone. 1612 01:03:59,473 --> 01:04:01,942 They had a black bar on my happy boner. 1613 01:04:01,975 --> 01:04:02,777 I know. 1614 01:04:02,811 --> 01:04:04,713 I'm super jelly, man. 1615 01:04:04,746 --> 01:04:07,047 So dude, the furry buddy games are this week. 1616 01:04:07,081 --> 01:04:07,948 What do you say you and I 1617 01:04:07,981 --> 01:04:10,084 go for back to back championships huh? 1618 01:04:10,117 --> 01:04:11,385 Ooh. 1619 01:04:11,418 --> 01:04:13,921 Unfortunately, this week is bad. 1620 01:04:13,954 --> 01:04:17,358 Besides the furry buddy thing, it's a little low rat. 1621 01:04:17,391 --> 01:04:19,794 Booker says I'm big time now. 1622 01:04:19,828 --> 01:04:20,829 Seriously? 1623 01:04:21,929 --> 01:04:23,263 That's how you're gonna play this? 1624 01:04:23,297 --> 01:04:24,733 For reals, dude. 1625 01:04:24,766 --> 01:04:26,233 Lots of auditions. 1626 01:04:26,266 --> 01:04:27,434 Gotta strike while the iron's hot. 1627 01:04:27,468 --> 01:04:28,268 Yeah, all right. 1628 01:04:28,302 --> 01:04:29,504 Whatever, Allan, fine. 1629 01:04:29,537 --> 01:04:31,372 Just make sure you're there for the award ceremony Friday. 1630 01:04:31,405 --> 01:04:32,674 It's tradition for the reigning champs 1631 01:04:32,707 --> 01:04:33,842 to hand over the trophy. 1632 01:04:33,874 --> 01:04:37,478 Or are you too busy having drinks with Sly that day? 1633 01:04:37,512 --> 01:04:40,515 LB, brother, LB. 1634 01:04:40,548 --> 01:04:42,149 LB? 1635 01:04:42,182 --> 01:04:43,016 YBAD. 1636 01:04:44,284 --> 01:04:45,119 I BAD? 1637 01:04:46,621 --> 01:04:48,422 YBAD if anything. 1638 01:04:48,455 --> 01:04:49,256 What? 1639 01:04:49,289 --> 01:04:50,090 How am I being a dick? 1640 01:04:50,124 --> 01:04:51,492 You're the one who's LHFM. 1641 01:04:51,526 --> 01:04:53,360 Oh, oh, oh, for having the balls to go out 1642 01:04:53,394 --> 01:04:54,962 and get the success I deserve? 1643 01:04:54,995 --> 01:04:56,029 At least I'm not a BS. 1644 01:04:56,063 --> 01:04:57,131 LB, brother. 1645 01:04:57,164 --> 01:04:58,867 That's an N effing F! 1646 01:04:58,899 --> 01:05:00,735 SBAOTP, brother man. 1647 01:05:01,803 --> 01:05:02,604 What? 1648 01:05:02,637 --> 01:05:04,004 Wait. SBAOTP. 1649 01:05:04,037 --> 01:05:06,340 Oh, yeah, that's right, stabbing backs all over the place! 1650 01:05:06,373 --> 01:05:08,942 How am I stabbing you in the back, Allan? 1651 01:05:08,976 --> 01:05:11,513 She's a human, and you're a dog, okay? 1652 01:05:11,546 --> 01:05:13,280 You're not right for Ellie, dude. 1653 01:05:13,313 --> 01:05:15,082 She's hot and she's smart and she loves owls, 1654 01:05:15,115 --> 01:05:16,785 and you're just an idiot 1655 01:05:16,818 --> 01:05:19,353 who's using our jokes to get famous! 1656 01:05:19,386 --> 01:05:20,454 What? 1657 01:05:20,487 --> 01:05:22,356 Dude, my stuff is brand new. 1658 01:05:22,389 --> 01:05:24,391 But if you wanna L up, let's L up. 1659 01:05:24,425 --> 01:05:26,594 You don't care about anyone, do you, Allan? 1660 01:05:26,628 --> 01:05:27,928 You've already bailed on two families 1661 01:05:27,961 --> 01:05:29,396 because the only thing you love more than yourself 1662 01:05:29,430 --> 01:05:32,534 is the spotlight, and that's SAF. 1663 01:05:32,567 --> 01:05:34,001 You're SAF. 1664 01:05:34,034 --> 01:05:36,303 Not as sad as being the ROTL. 1665 01:05:37,572 --> 01:05:39,339 You go there? 1666 01:05:39,373 --> 01:05:40,809 FU! 1667 01:05:40,842 --> 01:05:41,643 No. 1668 01:05:41,676 --> 01:05:42,510 Fuck you! 1669 01:05:42,544 --> 01:05:45,847 Oh, speaking of fucking, how's the DW? 1670 01:05:46,848 --> 01:05:48,182 You been inside her vagina yet? 1671 01:05:48,215 --> 01:05:50,083 FYIFI, asshole, 1672 01:05:50,117 --> 01:05:52,085 I haven't spoken to Ellie in a while, okay? 1673 01:05:52,119 --> 01:05:54,388 On your way out the door, you ruined that too! 1674 01:05:54,421 --> 01:05:55,623 FU, Matt. 1675 01:05:55,657 --> 01:05:57,659 Fu the fucking fuck you! 1676 01:05:58,793 --> 01:06:00,695 Wait, that's good news. 1677 01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,168 What up, El? 1678 01:06:10,070 --> 01:06:11,004 Not much. 1679 01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:13,942 Can I come in? 1680 01:06:15,142 --> 01:06:17,846 You completely bailed on me, Matt. 1681 01:06:17,879 --> 01:06:20,481 I mean, total radio silence. 1682 01:06:20,515 --> 01:06:24,485 And now you're swinging by unannounced to what? 1683 01:06:24,519 --> 01:06:26,053 What's going on with you? 1684 01:06:26,086 --> 01:06:27,755 You have any beer? 1685 01:06:29,524 --> 01:06:31,693 I have a six pack of The Hemperor, 1686 01:06:31,726 --> 01:06:34,696 a doseist vape pen and THC eyedrops. 1687 01:06:34,729 --> 01:06:35,830 Eyedrops? 1688 01:06:35,864 --> 01:06:37,431 Jesus, Ellie. 1689 01:06:37,464 --> 01:06:38,566 Yeah, well, it looks like 1690 01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:40,802 you've had enough to drink already. 1691 01:06:42,269 --> 01:06:44,204 what's going on, Matt? 1692 01:06:44,238 --> 01:06:45,072 Oh. 1693 01:06:46,006 --> 01:06:47,509 I saw Allan today. 1694 01:06:49,076 --> 01:06:50,143 How is he? 1695 01:06:50,177 --> 01:06:52,614 Oh, just, you know, living his best life 1696 01:06:52,647 --> 01:06:55,215 now that I'm not holding him back anymore. 1697 01:06:55,249 --> 01:06:57,050 Matt, that's ridiculous. 1698 01:06:57,084 --> 01:07:00,220 The fact is Allan's gone for good. 1699 01:07:00,254 --> 01:07:03,223 I really lost my little buddy, you know. 1700 01:07:03,257 --> 01:07:06,594 And that, that really just hit me today. 1701 01:07:13,066 --> 01:07:15,402 Oh, haven't seen her, huh? 1702 01:07:16,403 --> 01:07:18,405 Lying sack of shit much? 1703 01:07:19,607 --> 01:07:21,876 I'm sorry, Matt. 1704 01:07:21,910 --> 01:07:22,810 I really am. 1705 01:07:22,844 --> 01:07:24,478 I mean, if I lost Princess Leia, 1706 01:07:24,512 --> 01:07:27,080 I don't know what I would do. 1707 01:07:27,114 --> 01:07:29,216 But why are you here? 1708 01:07:29,249 --> 01:07:30,083 Look, I, 1709 01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,489 I don't know why I'm here, Ellie. 1710 01:07:35,523 --> 01:07:36,791 I don't know, you know. 1711 01:07:36,824 --> 01:07:41,763 One, one second, I have everything going for me, everything. 1712 01:07:42,597 --> 01:07:44,799 I mean, I got the best little buddy in the world 1713 01:07:44,832 --> 01:07:46,734 and I meet this cool ass chick 1714 01:07:46,768 --> 01:07:49,571 and I feel that excitement again in my life. 1715 01:07:49,604 --> 01:07:50,437 And, 1716 01:07:56,243 --> 01:07:57,812 I'm here because I lost Allan 1717 01:07:57,845 --> 01:08:01,749 and I can't bear the thought of losing you too. 1718 01:08:03,751 --> 01:08:04,586 Ellie, I, 1719 01:08:05,787 --> 01:08:06,621 oh, fuck. 1720 01:08:11,491 --> 01:08:14,929 I know I'm not some dangerous green juice barista 1721 01:08:14,963 --> 01:08:18,800 who rides motorcycles and makes dick collages. 1722 01:08:19,968 --> 01:08:22,369 I'm just a simple guy 1723 01:08:22,402 --> 01:08:24,171 who likes fixing cars 1724 01:08:24,204 --> 01:08:28,776 and watching the sunset with his best buddy, you know. 1725 01:08:29,711 --> 01:08:33,113 I promise I will always be there for you. 1726 01:08:33,146 --> 01:08:35,115 I'll even put THC eyedrops in my eyes. 1727 01:08:35,148 --> 01:08:37,317 Fucking crazy, but I'll do it, 1728 01:08:37,351 --> 01:08:40,655 because you are the smartest, coolest, 1729 01:08:40,688 --> 01:08:45,425 sexiest, owliest, best dog-owning, best kissing, loving... 1730 01:08:46,761 --> 01:08:47,562 Shut up. 1731 01:08:47,595 --> 01:08:48,663 Just shut up. 1732 01:08:51,431 --> 01:08:53,601 You had me at what up, El. 1733 01:08:58,338 --> 01:09:01,341 From hell's heart, I stab at thee. 1734 01:09:02,175 --> 01:09:06,080 For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee. 1735 01:09:07,414 --> 01:09:08,215 Whoa. 1736 01:09:08,248 --> 01:09:09,050 Whoa. 1737 01:09:09,083 --> 01:09:10,183 Whoa! 1738 01:09:10,217 --> 01:09:13,320 Oh, I'll find a way inside, and I'll kill you, Matt. 1739 01:09:13,353 --> 01:09:14,287 Hey, creeper. 1740 01:09:14,321 --> 01:09:15,123 Oh, 1741 01:09:15,155 --> 01:09:16,456 Well, hi, Princess. 1742 01:09:16,490 --> 01:09:18,225 Hey, nice job on TV. 1743 01:09:18,258 --> 01:09:19,594 Well, thank you. 1744 01:09:19,627 --> 01:09:23,397 I like when you go off on cat lovers. 1745 01:09:23,430 --> 01:09:28,468 It's funny, because cats suck so bad. 1746 01:09:28,503 --> 01:09:31,438 So yeah, it's a nuanced like that. 1747 01:09:31,471 --> 01:09:32,372 Totes. 1748 01:09:32,406 --> 01:09:34,441 Oh, what was Sly like? 1749 01:09:34,474 --> 01:09:36,410 Does he smell like victory? 1750 01:09:36,443 --> 01:09:38,345 Well, well, yes. 1751 01:09:38,378 --> 01:09:39,947 That's exactly what he smells like. 1752 01:09:39,981 --> 01:09:41,582 Are you, are you a Sly fan? 1753 01:09:41,616 --> 01:09:43,818 Oh, are you kidding? 1754 01:09:43,851 --> 01:09:45,953 Look, I know I sound like a crazy psychopath, 1755 01:09:45,987 --> 01:09:47,922 but Rocky V is my fave. 1756 01:09:48,756 --> 01:09:51,458 Like when Rocky is beating the crap out of Tommy Gunn 1757 01:09:51,491 --> 01:09:55,963 in the alley, well, it's more art than movie. 1758 01:09:55,997 --> 01:09:56,831 Wow. 1759 01:09:58,498 --> 01:09:59,332 Allan? 1760 01:10:00,267 --> 01:10:01,201 You okay? 1761 01:10:01,234 --> 01:10:02,837 Well, yeah. 1762 01:10:02,870 --> 01:10:04,105 I just, 1763 01:10:04,138 --> 01:10:05,372 geez, Princess. 1764 01:10:06,339 --> 01:10:09,342 Would you like to watch the original Rocky sometime? 1765 01:10:09,376 --> 01:10:12,013 I've seen it like 64 times with Matt, 1766 01:10:12,046 --> 01:10:14,882 but you know, he's dead to me now. 1767 01:10:16,249 --> 01:10:17,852 Yeah, sure, okay. 1768 01:10:18,786 --> 01:10:19,587 Awesome. 1769 01:10:19,620 --> 01:10:20,454 How about tonight? 1770 01:10:20,487 --> 01:10:21,488 We can watch it at the Booker's house. 1771 01:10:21,522 --> 01:10:22,523 Oh, great. 1772 01:10:22,557 --> 01:10:23,958 I can send a car for you. 1773 01:10:23,991 --> 01:10:26,393 Ooh, fancy. 1774 01:10:26,426 --> 01:10:27,695 Oh, but Allan. 1775 01:10:27,729 --> 01:10:28,529 Huh? 1776 01:10:28,563 --> 01:10:31,431 Is this a date or a friend day? 1777 01:10:31,465 --> 01:10:35,837 Oh, well, you know, we don't have to put labels on it, 1778 01:10:35,870 --> 01:10:38,305 but I'll take a bath. 1779 01:10:38,338 --> 01:10:39,173 Hmm. 1780 01:10:40,340 --> 01:10:41,374 Lei-lei. 1781 01:10:41,408 --> 01:10:43,544 Matt's taking me out for makeup drinks. 1782 01:10:43,578 --> 01:10:45,479 Yeah, I didn't know it was a thing either. 1783 01:10:45,513 --> 01:10:46,313 You good? 1784 01:10:46,346 --> 01:10:47,548 Yeah, you go, girl. 1785 01:10:47,582 --> 01:10:48,816 Yep, nothing to see here. 1786 01:10:48,850 --> 01:10:51,753 Just relaxing on the couch. 1787 01:10:51,786 --> 01:10:52,920 Okay, bye-bye. 1788 01:10:53,988 --> 01:10:55,455 Okay. 1789 01:10:55,489 --> 01:10:56,824 Catch you later. 1790 01:11:07,769 --> 01:11:08,803 Hmm. 1791 01:11:08,836 --> 01:11:09,904 I'd fuck me. 1792 01:11:16,544 --> 01:11:20,014 Are you gonna ask me in? 1793 01:11:20,047 --> 01:11:21,616 Oh, of course, I'm sorry. 1794 01:11:21,649 --> 01:11:23,151 Sure, come on in. 1795 01:11:23,184 --> 01:11:25,352 I got Rocky all queued up. 1796 01:11:25,385 --> 01:11:27,889 I just need to finish something up in the kitch-yeon. 1797 01:11:27,922 --> 01:11:28,756 Okay. 1798 01:11:34,128 --> 01:11:35,229 Yo, I'm telling you. 1799 01:11:35,263 --> 01:11:36,329 This never fails. 1800 01:11:36,363 --> 01:11:37,965 But I don't wanna burn you, dude. 1801 01:11:37,999 --> 01:11:39,066 Oh, don't worry about it, dude. 1802 01:11:39,100 --> 01:11:40,101 I got a high tolerance for pain. 1803 01:11:40,134 --> 01:11:41,002 Go for it. 1804 01:11:41,035 --> 01:11:42,036 All right. 1805 01:11:43,704 --> 01:11:48,709 Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. 1806 01:11:49,442 --> 01:11:50,578 Let's do this. 1807 01:11:50,611 --> 01:11:51,779 All right, player. 1808 01:11:51,813 --> 01:11:53,080 Go ahead and do your business. 1809 01:11:53,114 --> 01:11:54,882 Oh, business. 1810 01:11:54,916 --> 01:11:56,551 Consider it handled! 1811 01:11:58,186 --> 01:12:00,655 What are you doing here? 1812 01:12:00,688 --> 01:12:02,523 Yeah, get in there. 1813 01:12:02,557 --> 01:12:04,158 Mm-hmm. 1814 01:12:04,192 --> 01:12:05,860 You're hungry. 1815 01:12:05,893 --> 01:12:06,727 Oh, yep. 1816 01:12:07,695 --> 01:12:09,063 Uh-huh. 1817 01:12:09,096 --> 01:12:09,931 Oh, yeah. 1818 01:12:12,266 --> 01:12:14,769 Say hello to my little friend. 1819 01:12:16,270 --> 01:12:17,672 I'm sorry, Princess Leia. 1820 01:12:17,705 --> 01:12:19,240 At least let me call you an Ubs. 1821 01:12:19,273 --> 01:12:20,473 Already on the way. 1822 01:12:20,508 --> 01:12:23,211 You ruined something really special here, Allan. 1823 01:12:23,244 --> 01:12:26,747 I was even gonna dress up like Adrian and let you spank me, 1824 01:12:26,781 --> 01:12:30,117 because I may be shy, but I've been bad. 1825 01:12:33,353 --> 01:12:34,822 Booker, she didn't go 1826 01:12:34,856 --> 01:12:37,357 for the whole dick in the bucket thing. 1827 01:12:37,390 --> 01:12:39,994 Yo, you got way bigger problems, bruh. 1828 01:12:40,027 --> 01:12:41,529 Your shit is cooked! 1829 01:12:41,562 --> 01:12:42,730 Let's take another look 1830 01:12:42,763 --> 01:12:46,033 at this shocking video breaking tonight. 1831 01:12:46,067 --> 01:12:47,068 Do you know who I am? 1832 01:12:47,101 --> 01:12:47,902 Dude, is that Allan the dog? 1833 01:12:47,935 --> 01:12:49,537 Do you know who I am? 1834 01:12:49,570 --> 01:12:50,872 Look, I don't care who you are. 1835 01:12:50,905 --> 01:12:52,006 You're not coming in this bar. 1836 01:12:52,039 --> 01:12:53,140 You're too drunk. 1837 01:12:53,174 --> 01:12:54,407 You're really not gonna let me drink in this bar. 1838 01:12:54,441 --> 01:12:56,077 No, I'm not gonna tell you again. 1839 01:12:56,110 --> 01:12:57,144 Get outta here. 1840 01:12:57,178 --> 01:12:58,145 All right, all good 1841 01:12:58,179 --> 01:12:59,446 'Cause guess what. 1842 01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:01,115 Now, this is happening. 1843 01:13:01,148 --> 01:13:02,382 You see that squirrel right there? 1844 01:13:02,415 --> 01:13:03,317 Yeah. 1845 01:13:03,351 --> 01:13:05,286 This is on you. 1846 01:13:05,319 --> 01:13:06,721 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 1847 01:13:06,754 --> 01:13:09,557 Whoa, whoa whoa, let go, let go! 1848 01:13:09,590 --> 01:13:11,592 Doggone busted. 1849 01:13:11,626 --> 01:13:15,395 Exclusive tonight, we are confirming here on Doggone News 1850 01:13:15,428 --> 01:13:18,465 that Allan the dog is the long lost brother 1851 01:13:18,498 --> 01:13:21,702 of the world famous, award-winning Pinscher brothers. 1852 01:13:21,736 --> 01:13:24,972 We go live right now to our correspondent, Zoey Spencer, 1853 01:13:25,006 --> 01:13:27,375 standing by in the field with Allan's brother, 1854 01:13:27,407 --> 01:13:31,212 blue ribbon champion, the magnificent Chester. 1855 01:13:32,479 --> 01:13:33,915 Chester, what do you have to say 1856 01:13:33,948 --> 01:13:36,951 about your estranged brother's recent fall from grace? 1857 01:13:36,984 --> 01:13:38,686 Yeah, we feel sorry for him. 1858 01:13:38,719 --> 01:13:40,621 If this is what Allan ran away to become, 1859 01:13:40,655 --> 01:13:42,189 we don't understand it. 1860 01:13:42,223 --> 01:13:43,557 I will say this. 1861 01:13:43,591 --> 01:13:45,660 He was right about keeping my knees up. 1862 01:13:45,693 --> 01:13:47,929 And what does Allan's original comedy partner 1863 01:13:47,962 --> 01:13:51,198 think of Allan's fall from fame? 1864 01:13:51,232 --> 01:13:53,668 The whole abbrevs thing is so played out. 1865 01:13:53,701 --> 01:13:56,137 Get some new material, Allan. 1866 01:13:57,305 --> 01:13:58,471 Do you still talk to him? 1867 01:13:58,506 --> 01:13:59,774 No! 1868 01:13:59,807 --> 01:14:00,775 No, no! 1869 01:14:00,808 --> 01:14:03,377 Allan, because Allan's not a real friend. 1870 01:14:03,411 --> 01:14:05,646 All Allan cares about is attention 1871 01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:07,281 and getting people to love him. 1872 01:14:07,315 --> 01:14:09,216 And he's got that now, which is great. 1873 01:14:09,250 --> 01:14:10,751 So (BLEEP) him, okay? 1874 01:14:14,454 --> 01:14:15,323 Hey! 1875 01:14:15,356 --> 01:14:16,489 Hey, no filming in here! 1876 01:14:16,524 --> 01:14:17,325 (BLEEP) you! 1877 01:14:17,358 --> 01:14:18,326 Give me that! 1878 01:14:18,359 --> 01:14:19,160 - You piece of (BLEEP)! - Damn. 1879 01:14:19,193 --> 01:14:21,228 Charlie Sheen ain't got shit on you! 1880 01:14:21,262 --> 01:14:22,330 Oh, man. 1881 01:14:22,363 --> 01:14:23,664 Come on, Booker. 1882 01:14:23,698 --> 01:14:25,199 We can beat this. 1883 01:14:25,232 --> 01:14:27,868 You, me and that bag of coke over there, 1884 01:14:27,902 --> 01:14:28,703 we can do it. 1885 01:14:28,736 --> 01:14:29,904 Together, man. 1886 01:14:30,905 --> 01:14:32,340 Good luck, Allan. 1887 01:14:32,373 --> 01:14:33,941 Man, if we ever pull your way back up to the top, 1888 01:14:33,975 --> 01:14:35,142 call me, bruh. 1889 01:14:38,879 --> 01:14:39,780 But, but. 1890 01:14:42,750 --> 01:14:43,584 Hmm. 1891 01:14:57,999 --> 01:14:58,833 Hello? 1892 01:15:02,269 --> 01:15:03,838 Allan, is that you? 1893 01:15:05,473 --> 01:15:06,307 Allan? 1894 01:15:35,803 --> 01:15:38,205 Time to crown the winners, Matt. 1895 01:15:38,239 --> 01:15:40,307 When do we expect Allan? 1896 01:15:40,341 --> 01:15:41,709 Oh, I'm sorry, man, 1897 01:15:41,742 --> 01:15:44,812 but Allan and I had kind of a falling out. 1898 01:15:44,845 --> 01:15:46,647 I think I'm just gonna have to crown the winner myself. 1899 01:15:46,680 --> 01:15:48,549 Ah, shucks. 1900 01:15:48,582 --> 01:15:50,684 That's a bummer. 1901 01:15:50,718 --> 01:15:51,552 Yeah. 1902 01:16:01,662 --> 01:16:02,897 Will you hold this furry buddy? 1903 01:16:02,930 --> 01:16:06,300 Just for the photo op after we announce the winners. 1904 01:16:06,333 --> 01:16:07,468 All right. 1905 01:16:07,502 --> 01:16:08,903 She's adorable. 1906 01:16:08,936 --> 01:16:10,271 Really? 1907 01:16:10,304 --> 01:16:12,239 You seriously missed the giant balls 1908 01:16:12,273 --> 01:16:14,075 at the base of this great pecker? 1909 01:16:14,108 --> 01:16:15,810 Oh, I'm sorry, dude. 1910 01:16:15,843 --> 01:16:17,244 Oh, yeah, they're they, 1911 01:16:17,278 --> 01:16:18,513 ww, those are not small. 1912 01:16:18,547 --> 01:16:19,814 You can look. 1913 01:16:19,847 --> 01:16:20,648 I like it. 1914 01:16:20,681 --> 01:16:21,482 Take a selfie. 1915 01:16:21,516 --> 01:16:24,452 Just use the hashtag my baby girls. 1916 01:16:35,396 --> 01:16:39,900 A true friend is somebody who thinks you're a good egg 1917 01:16:39,934 --> 01:16:43,505 even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. 1918 01:16:43,538 --> 01:16:48,543 Come on, who writes this cheese? 1919 01:16:49,743 --> 01:16:51,245 He let me keep my balls, people. 1920 01:16:51,278 --> 01:16:53,948 I sure don't want him licking mine. 1921 01:16:53,981 --> 01:16:56,050 Vanilla Ice likes spicy fucking rice! 1922 01:16:56,083 --> 01:16:56,917 Boom! 1923 01:16:58,285 --> 01:16:59,787 I love you, my man! 1924 01:16:59,820 --> 01:17:02,256 I love you! 1925 01:17:02,289 --> 01:17:04,391 Oh, god! 1926 01:17:04,425 --> 01:17:05,826 Yeah, all right. 1927 01:17:05,860 --> 01:17:08,162 All right. 1928 01:17:08,195 --> 01:17:12,099 Hey, I remember that. 1929 01:17:16,871 --> 01:17:17,705 Today? 1930 01:17:18,806 --> 01:17:20,274 I'm coming for you, Matt. 1931 01:17:20,307 --> 01:17:22,343 I'm gonna be there for you! 1932 01:17:22,376 --> 01:17:26,680 And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for. 1933 01:17:26,714 --> 01:17:31,685 The winner of the 10th annual furry buddy championship is... 1934 01:17:33,154 --> 01:17:34,421 Matt! 1935 01:17:34,455 --> 01:17:35,289 Matt! 1936 01:17:36,457 --> 01:17:38,926 Matt, it's me, Allan. 1937 01:17:38,959 --> 01:17:41,596 Chuck and Indiana Dan. 1938 01:17:41,630 --> 01:17:44,798 No! 1939 01:17:54,375 --> 01:17:55,610 Welcome back, welcome back. 1940 01:17:55,644 --> 01:17:57,278 You're listening to Chuey Martinez, 1941 01:17:57,311 --> 01:17:59,747 and this is a new segment we'd like to call 1942 01:17:59,780 --> 01:18:01,448 where are they now. 1943 01:18:01,482 --> 01:18:03,417 We've been talking to Matt and Ellie, 1944 01:18:03,450 --> 01:18:06,954 to people who care very, very much about Allan, 1945 01:18:06,987 --> 01:18:09,223 the dog, not the celebrity. 1946 01:18:10,124 --> 01:18:11,926 So I'm gonna ask both of you right now. 1947 01:18:11,959 --> 01:18:13,928 If Allan's listening, what do you wanna say to him? 1948 01:18:13,961 --> 01:18:15,896 Oh, thanks, Chuey. 1949 01:18:15,930 --> 01:18:17,731 Look, I just wanna say, 1950 01:18:17,765 --> 01:18:20,935 hey, Allan, please come home, buddy. 1951 01:18:20,968 --> 01:18:23,538 I didn't mean to call you the ROTL, all right? 1952 01:18:23,572 --> 01:18:25,039 It was messed up. 1953 01:18:25,072 --> 01:18:26,675 You're the best dog I've ever had. 1954 01:18:26,707 --> 01:18:28,375 You're the best dog in the entire world! 1955 01:18:28,409 --> 01:18:30,545 I just, I love you. 1956 01:18:30,579 --> 01:18:31,845 We miss you, Allan. 1957 01:18:31,879 --> 01:18:33,447 And I love you too. 1958 01:18:34,281 --> 01:18:35,783 Just not that way. 1959 01:18:36,917 --> 01:18:40,120 You know, I love you like a friend, 'cause we're friends. 1960 01:18:40,154 --> 01:18:41,855 Friendsies! 1961 01:18:41,889 --> 01:18:42,957 I'm sorry. 1962 01:18:42,990 --> 01:18:44,825 Hey, Princess, I know you're there too. 1963 01:18:44,858 --> 01:18:46,193 And I guess I forgive you 1964 01:18:46,227 --> 01:18:48,395 for the whole popcorn sitch. 1965 01:18:48,429 --> 01:18:50,164 I was just surprised, that's all. 1966 01:18:50,197 --> 01:18:52,366 It's not like I'm not DTF. 1967 01:18:56,837 --> 01:18:57,738 Don't be shy. 1968 01:18:57,771 --> 01:18:59,273 Come on by. 1969 01:18:59,306 --> 01:19:01,141 Pet a former celeb. 1970 01:19:01,175 --> 01:19:03,444 What happens at the pier stays at the pier. 1971 01:19:03,477 --> 01:19:04,613 Anybody? 1972 01:19:04,646 --> 01:19:08,717 Hmm, I wonder what washed up celebrity tastes like. 1973 01:19:11,118 --> 01:19:15,155 You can smell the desperation. 1974 01:19:15,189 --> 01:19:16,257 Ooh, I bet desperation 1975 01:19:16,290 --> 01:19:17,758 tastes good, boss. 1976 01:19:17,791 --> 01:19:18,926 Patience, Kevin. 1977 01:19:18,959 --> 01:19:21,462 Too many people around. 1978 01:19:21,495 --> 01:19:22,930 Can anybody help a dog out? 1979 01:19:22,963 --> 01:19:24,666 Hey, isn't that Allan the dog? 1980 01:19:24,699 --> 01:19:25,634 Oh, shit. 1981 01:19:26,701 --> 01:19:28,302 It's that birthday brat. 1982 01:19:28,335 --> 01:19:29,504 That is him. 1983 01:19:29,537 --> 01:19:30,672 You wanna pet him? 1984 01:19:30,705 --> 01:19:31,839 He looks kinda dirty. 1985 01:19:31,872 --> 01:19:32,973 Please. 1986 01:19:33,007 --> 01:19:35,409 You want me like quiet? 1987 01:19:35,442 --> 01:19:38,580 Like I'm sorta resisting but secretly like it? 1988 01:19:38,613 --> 01:19:39,880 Or just all in? 1989 01:19:39,913 --> 01:19:41,015 Resisting. 1990 01:19:41,048 --> 01:19:43,284 All right, let's do this. 1991 01:19:46,053 --> 01:19:47,321 Oh, no. 1992 01:19:47,354 --> 01:19:49,390 The 'gram is gonna love this. 1993 01:19:49,423 --> 01:19:50,224 No. 1994 01:19:50,257 --> 01:19:51,191 Really get in there. 1995 01:19:51,225 --> 01:19:53,294 Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's five bucks, dad. 1996 01:19:53,327 --> 01:19:54,161 Here you go. 1997 01:19:54,194 --> 01:19:56,463 This should cover whatever that was. 1998 01:19:56,497 --> 01:19:58,165 Just don't tell your mom about this. 1999 01:19:58,198 --> 01:19:59,967 All right. 2000 01:20:11,211 --> 01:20:12,313 Great job on the sign, dude. 2001 01:20:12,346 --> 01:20:13,581 How much you make out? 2002 01:20:13,615 --> 01:20:15,349 Oh, Fred, slow day. 2003 01:20:16,618 --> 01:20:17,885 I mean, do you, 2004 01:20:20,054 --> 01:20:23,390 do you know how much like a gun would cost? 2005 01:20:23,424 --> 01:20:24,425 Actually, you know what? 2006 01:20:24,458 --> 01:20:25,426 I think it's just cheaper if you just walk out 2007 01:20:25,459 --> 01:20:27,828 into the ocean with all your clothes on. 2008 01:20:27,861 --> 01:20:30,732 Let Poseidon sort out the rest. 2009 01:20:30,765 --> 01:20:32,032 Jesus Christ. 2010 01:20:36,203 --> 01:20:37,706 I don't know, Fred. 2011 01:20:37,739 --> 01:20:40,474 I guess, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. 2012 01:20:40,508 --> 01:20:41,442 Okay. 2013 01:20:41,475 --> 01:20:42,610 See you tomorrow, Allan. 2014 01:20:42,644 --> 01:20:43,444 Trust. 2015 01:20:43,477 --> 01:20:44,378 Hey, Allan. 2016 01:20:44,411 --> 01:20:45,245 Uh-huh. 2017 01:20:46,581 --> 01:20:47,816 If you do make it up to heaven, 2018 01:20:47,848 --> 01:20:51,118 will you ask my ex-girlfriend what the Netflix password is? 2019 01:20:51,151 --> 01:20:54,888 That's fucking crazy, Fred, but I'll do it. 2020 01:21:09,903 --> 01:21:10,739 Hmm. 2021 01:21:37,131 --> 01:21:39,967 I think he went that a-way dude. 2022 01:21:40,835 --> 01:21:41,969 Thanks, man. 2023 01:21:46,106 --> 01:21:50,010 Looky here, fellas. 2024 01:21:55,315 --> 01:22:00,320 I love it when I catch dinner eating dinner. 2025 01:22:04,291 --> 01:22:05,092 Yeah. 2026 01:22:06,493 --> 01:22:08,128 Don't worry, Princess Leia. 2027 01:22:08,162 --> 01:22:08,962 Once we find Allan, we're gonna... 2028 01:22:08,996 --> 01:22:09,798 Wait, wait, there he is! 2029 01:22:09,831 --> 01:22:10,632 Stop the car! 2030 01:22:10,665 --> 01:22:11,465 Oh, my god. 2031 01:22:11,498 --> 01:22:12,534 Oh, my god. 2032 01:22:12,567 --> 01:22:13,967 Princess Leia, wait! 2033 01:22:14,001 --> 01:22:14,803 Allan! 2034 01:22:14,836 --> 01:22:15,637 Ah. 2035 01:22:15,670 --> 01:22:16,504 Allan! 2036 01:22:16,538 --> 01:22:19,440 This day just keeps getting better. 2037 01:22:19,473 --> 01:22:21,041 No, Princess Leia, don't come over here! 2038 01:22:21,074 --> 01:22:21,876 Oh, god. 2039 01:22:21,910 --> 01:22:22,710 Come here! 2040 01:22:22,744 --> 01:22:23,678 Got you! 2041 01:22:23,711 --> 01:22:27,549 You lay one paw on her, and I swear to... 2042 01:22:27,582 --> 01:22:29,183 You were saying? 2043 01:22:31,719 --> 01:22:32,554 Oh, I see. 2044 01:22:34,188 --> 01:22:36,190 Is this your girlfriend? 2045 01:22:38,425 --> 01:22:39,493 How adorable. 2046 01:22:40,427 --> 01:22:42,329 Well, don't worry. 2047 01:22:42,362 --> 01:22:44,965 This will be a romantic ending. 2048 01:22:46,568 --> 01:22:47,802 Oh, yes. 2049 01:22:47,836 --> 01:22:50,437 You'll be together as one 2050 01:22:50,471 --> 01:22:53,373 in my poop! 2051 01:22:53,407 --> 01:22:55,309 Beautifully expressed, boss. 2052 01:22:55,342 --> 01:22:56,611 Leia! 2053 01:22:57,812 --> 01:23:01,014 Deal with her, boys. 2054 01:23:01,048 --> 01:23:02,617 I love an audience! 2055 01:23:05,720 --> 01:23:07,589 I love an audience too. 2056 01:23:07,622 --> 01:23:10,023 In fact, the more, the merrier. 2057 01:23:10,057 --> 01:23:10,859 Huh? 2058 01:23:10,892 --> 01:23:12,760 Princess Leia, go for the popcorn. 2059 01:23:12,794 --> 01:23:13,828 Give it all you've got! 2060 01:23:13,862 --> 01:23:14,696 Huh? 2061 01:23:17,030 --> 01:23:18,833 Oh, man, we're gonna get you now. 2062 01:23:18,867 --> 01:23:20,334 You better check yourself 2063 01:23:20,367 --> 01:23:23,070 before you go and wreck yourself. 2064 01:23:23,103 --> 01:23:25,472 Whoa, bitch! 2065 01:23:25,507 --> 01:23:27,174 Ooh, you go, girl. 2066 01:23:29,076 --> 01:23:29,911 Huh. 2067 01:23:34,816 --> 01:23:36,483 That's gonna leave a mark. 2068 01:23:36,518 --> 01:23:38,686 Boss, are you okay? 2069 01:23:38,720 --> 01:23:40,287 I don't think so. 2070 01:23:41,623 --> 01:23:43,791 Ain't gonna be no rematch. 2071 01:23:45,158 --> 01:23:45,960 Buddy. 2072 01:23:45,994 --> 01:23:46,794 Oh, god. 2073 01:23:46,828 --> 01:23:47,795 - Oh, my god. - Oh, buddy. 2074 01:23:47,829 --> 01:23:48,863 - Are you okay, buddy? - Oh, my god, I'm okay. 2075 01:23:48,897 --> 01:23:49,697 I'm so sorry. 2076 01:23:49,731 --> 01:23:50,532 I'm sorry. 2077 01:23:50,565 --> 01:23:51,365 No, it's my fault. 2078 01:23:51,398 --> 01:23:52,199 No, it's my fault. 2079 01:23:52,232 --> 01:23:53,033 Oh, god, Matt. 2080 01:23:53,066 --> 01:23:53,868 I was so scared. 2081 01:23:53,902 --> 01:23:54,702 Me too. 2082 01:23:54,736 --> 01:23:56,804 And I'm pretty sure I peed myself. 2083 01:23:56,838 --> 01:23:57,906 Oh. 2084 01:23:57,939 --> 01:23:59,007 Oh, yeah. 2085 01:23:59,039 --> 01:24:00,942 Oh, I'm soaking wet. 2086 01:24:00,975 --> 01:24:05,312 Oh, is Ellie and Princess Leia standing right there? 2087 01:24:06,981 --> 01:24:08,550 - Yeah. - Goddammit. 2088 01:24:08,583 --> 01:24:10,585 Oh, man. 2089 01:24:10,618 --> 01:24:12,620 That was crazy, Allan. 2090 01:24:17,025 --> 01:24:19,928 We kinda fucked those coyotes up, didn't we? 2091 01:24:19,961 --> 01:24:20,995 We sure did. 2092 01:24:21,029 --> 01:24:23,598 And you know, I was all man 2093 01:24:23,631 --> 01:24:25,465 up until the moment I wet myself. 2094 01:24:25,499 --> 01:24:26,968 Oh, 100%. 2095 01:24:27,001 --> 01:24:27,835 Good. 2096 01:24:28,836 --> 01:24:31,171 I missed you, buddy. 2097 01:24:31,204 --> 01:24:32,807 I missed you too. 2098 01:24:34,776 --> 01:24:35,710 You know what? 2099 01:24:35,743 --> 01:24:39,446 It was, it was more than that though, Allan. 2100 01:24:39,479 --> 01:24:41,983 Being away, I realized that I, 2101 01:24:43,283 --> 01:24:44,619 I need you, pal. 2102 01:24:45,620 --> 01:24:47,055 I need you too. 2103 01:24:52,026 --> 01:24:54,963 So how are things at the shop? 2104 01:24:54,996 --> 01:24:56,496 Ah, same old. 2105 01:24:56,531 --> 01:24:57,331 They're good though. 2106 01:24:57,364 --> 01:24:59,266 You know, Stan made me full partner. 2107 01:24:59,299 --> 01:25:00,935 Oh, dude, that's awesome, dude. 2108 01:25:00,969 --> 01:25:02,003 I'm proud of you. 2109 01:25:02,036 --> 01:25:03,071 Thanks. 2110 01:25:03,103 --> 01:25:04,237 What about you? 2111 01:25:04,271 --> 01:25:05,339 What do you have next? 2112 01:25:05,372 --> 01:25:06,373 Oh, man. 2113 01:25:06,406 --> 01:25:09,811 I might have a few reality TV shows left in me, 2114 01:25:09,844 --> 01:25:11,646 washed up celeb type stuff. 2115 01:25:11,679 --> 01:25:13,915 But, oh, bro, I'm finished. 2116 01:25:15,750 --> 01:25:16,684 Finished? 2117 01:25:17,619 --> 01:25:19,152 Come on, Allan. 2118 01:25:19,186 --> 01:25:20,989 You know better than anyone, 2119 01:25:21,022 --> 01:25:22,991 life isn't about how hard you hit. 2120 01:25:23,024 --> 01:25:25,693 It's about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward. 2121 01:25:25,727 --> 01:25:28,161 That's what winning is about. 2122 01:25:30,031 --> 01:25:32,100 Rocky Balboa, part six. 2123 01:25:34,068 --> 01:25:36,470 Well, okay, whatcha thinking? 2124 01:25:42,209 --> 01:25:44,946 Comeback show. 2125 01:25:51,886 --> 01:25:53,054 Oh, god, no. 2126 01:25:54,589 --> 01:25:55,355 All right, first day. 2127 01:25:55,389 --> 01:25:56,189 Take it easy, all right. 2128 01:25:56,223 --> 01:25:57,025 We got this. 2129 01:25:57,058 --> 01:25:57,859 I got this. 2130 01:25:57,892 --> 01:25:58,693 I'm killing it. 2131 01:25:58,726 --> 01:25:59,527 Three, two, one, go! 2132 01:25:59,560 --> 01:26:00,762 - Come on! - Oh! 2133 01:26:00,795 --> 01:26:02,362 Pulled a hammy, dude. 2134 01:26:02,396 --> 01:26:03,196 Pulled a hammy. 2135 01:26:03,230 --> 01:26:04,398 Come on, Allan! 2136 01:26:04,431 --> 01:26:06,768 Apollo Creed can't criticize Kanye... 2137 01:26:06,801 --> 01:26:07,669 For being a cool, cold, calculating... 2138 01:26:07,702 --> 01:26:08,836 Kanye is a cat! 2139 01:26:08,870 --> 01:26:09,671 No, he's not! 2140 01:26:09,704 --> 01:26:10,505 I suck! 2141 01:26:10,538 --> 01:26:11,338 Come on, Allan, 2142 01:26:11,371 --> 01:26:12,172 - you got this. - I can't do it. 2143 01:26:12,205 --> 01:26:13,007 - It's too hard. - Ready? 2144 01:26:13,041 --> 01:26:13,841 Go, start from the beginning. 2145 01:26:13,875 --> 01:26:14,842 Here we go, when I'm done with you, 2146 01:26:14,876 --> 01:26:18,378 you're gonna eat lightning and crap thunder! 2147 01:26:18,412 --> 01:26:19,246 Hmm. 2148 01:26:24,018 --> 01:26:28,255 For the love of god, can we please scramble these fuckers? 2149 01:26:28,288 --> 01:26:29,090 We got this! 2150 01:26:29,123 --> 01:26:30,058 We got this! 2151 01:26:30,091 --> 01:26:31,324 Yeah! 2152 01:26:31,358 --> 01:26:32,560 Oh, god, can you hold on a second? 2153 01:26:32,593 --> 01:26:34,962 I think I've got a boo-boo on my knee. 2154 01:26:36,864 --> 01:26:37,799 One. 2155 01:26:37,832 --> 01:26:38,498 - Go, go, push! - You always do this thing. 2156 01:26:38,533 --> 01:26:39,332 Come on! 2157 01:26:39,366 --> 01:26:40,902 Don't be such a little bitch! 2158 01:26:40,935 --> 01:26:41,736 Too far. 2159 01:26:41,769 --> 01:26:42,570 Sorry, yeah, that was too much. 2160 01:26:42,603 --> 01:26:43,403 Too far. 2161 01:26:43,437 --> 01:26:44,237 All right. 2162 01:26:44,271 --> 01:26:45,073 Yeah, hi. 2163 01:26:45,106 --> 01:26:46,641 Is the patient in 7B still alive? 2164 01:26:46,674 --> 01:26:48,208 Yeah, according to my record. 2165 01:26:48,241 --> 01:26:49,276 Oh, oh, great. 2166 01:26:49,309 --> 01:26:50,978 That is a relief. 2167 01:26:51,012 --> 01:26:52,780 I have a gift for the little guy. 2168 01:26:52,814 --> 01:26:53,614 Come on, three more! 2169 01:26:53,648 --> 01:26:54,682 Three! 2170 01:26:54,716 --> 01:26:55,783 Go, keep going! 2171 01:26:55,817 --> 01:26:56,718 49. 2172 01:26:56,751 --> 01:26:57,585 Come on, Allan! 2173 01:26:57,618 --> 01:26:58,418 50! 2174 01:26:58,452 --> 01:26:59,587 Yeah! 2175 01:26:59,620 --> 01:27:01,022 Apollo Creed can't criticize Kanye 2176 01:27:01,055 --> 01:27:03,423 for being a cool, cold, calculated cat. 2177 01:27:03,457 --> 01:27:04,324 Yeah! 2178 01:27:04,357 --> 01:27:05,193 Go! 2179 01:27:06,994 --> 01:27:07,795 You did it! 2180 01:27:07,829 --> 01:27:09,362 Yeah, my man, yeah! 2181 01:27:09,396 --> 01:27:10,464 Yeah! 2182 01:27:10,497 --> 01:27:11,331 Woo-hoo! 2183 01:27:12,166 --> 01:27:13,501 Let's go, Allan! 2184 01:27:15,103 --> 01:27:15,937 Yeah! 2185 01:27:20,273 --> 01:27:22,476 Thank you so much for coming out tonight, everybody. 2186 01:27:22,510 --> 01:27:25,012 And now, without further fucking ado, 2187 01:27:25,046 --> 01:27:29,083 are you ready for a comedy resurrection, huh? 2188 01:27:29,117 --> 01:27:30,685 Yeah! 2189 01:27:30,718 --> 01:27:31,519 All right. 2190 01:27:31,552 --> 01:27:34,522 Well then, I give you Allan the dog. 2191 01:27:34,555 --> 01:27:37,324 Oh, yeah! 2192 01:27:37,357 --> 01:27:38,159 Awesome. 2193 01:27:38,192 --> 01:27:40,094 Thank you so much. 2194 01:27:40,128 --> 01:27:42,262 Thank you, thank you. 2195 01:27:42,295 --> 01:27:43,064 I love it. 2196 01:27:43,097 --> 01:27:44,132 Thank you. 2197 01:27:44,165 --> 01:27:47,835 I have a big surprise for everyone here tonight. 2198 01:27:49,302 --> 01:27:50,638 Yeah, no, let it out. 2199 01:27:50,671 --> 01:27:51,839 It's all good. 2200 01:27:52,807 --> 01:27:54,307 I forgive Allan. 2201 01:27:56,010 --> 01:27:57,377 Give it up for Blinky, yo. 2202 01:27:59,647 --> 01:28:00,748 He's doing all right there. 2203 01:28:00,782 --> 01:28:02,150 And I've got great news. 2204 01:28:02,183 --> 01:28:07,188 100% of tonight's proceeds are going to Blinky's recovery, 2205 01:28:07,755 --> 01:28:08,823 so that's fantastic. 2206 01:28:08,856 --> 01:28:11,458 In just two short weeks, they're gonna remove the rod 2207 01:28:11,491 --> 01:28:12,627 holding his brain together. 2208 01:28:12,660 --> 01:28:13,460 Yeah, give it up for him. 2209 01:28:13,493 --> 01:28:15,696 Yeah. 2210 01:28:15,730 --> 01:28:16,697 Thanks, Blinky. 2211 01:28:16,731 --> 01:28:20,802 You are an inspiraysh to us all, for reals. 2212 01:28:20,835 --> 01:28:23,971 Holy schnikies, my brothers are here tonight. 2213 01:28:24,005 --> 01:28:25,106 Chester, wow. 2214 01:28:25,139 --> 01:28:27,407 Dude, congrats on the blue ribbon, my man, for real. 2215 01:28:27,440 --> 01:28:28,776 That's awesome, dude. 2216 01:28:28,810 --> 01:28:31,879 And how many times have I told you growing up knees up? 2217 01:28:31,913 --> 01:28:33,281 Yeah, nice work. 2218 01:28:33,313 --> 01:28:38,385 And guys, I owe you all a form apol for bailing on the fam. 2219 01:28:38,418 --> 01:28:41,789 You know, and from the heart, all I can really say is 2220 01:28:41,823 --> 01:28:44,091 now that I'm more famous than you guys, we're all good. 2221 01:28:45,960 --> 01:28:47,360 No, no, no, I'm just kidding, man. 2222 01:28:47,394 --> 01:28:49,630 You know, it's not about fame. 2223 01:28:49,664 --> 01:28:51,833 No, man, it's not about fame at all. 2224 01:28:51,866 --> 01:28:54,268 And there's way more important things in life. 2225 01:28:54,302 --> 01:28:58,206 And someone here that's very special to me taught me that, 2226 01:28:58,239 --> 01:28:59,040 my best friend, Matt. 2227 01:28:59,073 --> 01:28:59,907 Can you give him a hand? 2228 01:28:59,941 --> 01:29:00,741 He's right here in the front row here. 2229 01:29:00,775 --> 01:29:02,877 Yeah. 2230 01:29:02,910 --> 01:29:04,245 Love you, dude. 2231 01:29:04,278 --> 01:29:06,547 I, I've had sex with this guy's leg. 2232 01:29:08,649 --> 01:29:11,319 Yeah, if only it was consensual. 2233 01:29:11,351 --> 01:29:13,020 Thank god leg rape isn't a thing. 2234 01:29:15,488 --> 01:29:18,759 Yo, this dog just pulled up the PR job of the century. 2235 01:29:18,793 --> 01:29:21,596 Prepare a standard two-year and get down here now. 2236 01:29:21,629 --> 01:29:23,731 Wow, you guys have been such a great audience. 2237 01:29:24,599 --> 01:29:26,701 Yeah, thank you so much. 2238 01:29:26,734 --> 01:29:28,169 Thank you, Barrick, for having us. 2239 01:29:28,202 --> 01:29:29,337 Thank you, Blinky. 2240 01:29:29,369 --> 01:29:30,338 Peace! 2241 01:29:30,370 --> 01:29:31,806 We love you, Allan. 2242 01:29:31,839 --> 01:29:32,673 Whoo! 2243 01:29:37,044 --> 01:29:38,378 Oh, thank you, buddy. 2244 01:29:38,411 --> 01:29:39,247 Yeah! 2245 01:29:40,480 --> 01:29:41,649 I know you could do it. 2246 01:29:41,682 --> 01:29:43,317 Get ready for the next level, my friend. 2247 01:29:43,351 --> 01:29:44,752 Bang out an X right here 2248 01:29:44,785 --> 01:29:46,554 and you will be the most famous dog 2249 01:29:46,587 --> 01:29:48,623 that ever walked the earth. 2250 01:29:48,656 --> 01:29:49,757 Bigger than Snoopy? 2251 01:29:49,790 --> 01:29:50,992 Snoopy who? 2252 01:29:51,025 --> 01:29:53,628 Leave here with me tonight, Allan, and your life changes. 2253 01:29:53,661 --> 01:29:54,629 What about Matt? 2254 01:29:54,662 --> 01:29:55,563 What about him? 2255 01:29:55,596 --> 01:29:57,031 We'll throw some oil changes his way, 2256 01:29:57,064 --> 01:29:59,066 but we've got the world to conquer. 2257 01:29:59,100 --> 01:29:59,934 Come on. 2258 01:30:01,468 --> 01:30:02,803 Let's see here. 2259 01:30:09,844 --> 01:30:11,512 You know what, Booker? 2260 01:30:11,545 --> 01:30:12,647 I'll pass. 2261 01:30:12,680 --> 01:30:13,915 I'm gonna stick with the guy 2262 01:30:13,948 --> 01:30:16,017 who stands by me no matter what. 2263 01:30:16,050 --> 01:30:19,086 That's love, and there's nothing more important than that. 2264 01:30:19,120 --> 01:30:19,921 Damn. 2265 01:30:19,954 --> 01:30:20,755 Allan! 2266 01:30:20,788 --> 01:30:22,089 Excuse me, excuse me. 2267 01:30:22,123 --> 01:30:23,557 Allan! 2268 01:30:23,591 --> 01:30:24,457 Allan! 2269 01:30:24,491 --> 01:30:25,826 Princess Leia. 2270 01:30:27,427 --> 01:30:28,329 I love you. 2271 01:30:29,697 --> 01:30:31,232 I know. 2272 01:30:33,768 --> 01:30:34,635 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2273 01:30:34,669 --> 01:30:36,537 I write pretty much all the jokes, so. 2274 01:30:36,570 --> 01:30:37,805 Matt! 2275 01:30:39,273 --> 01:30:40,541 Hey. 2276 01:30:40,574 --> 01:30:41,375 Ow! 2277 01:30:41,409 --> 01:30:42,243 Oh! 2278 01:30:44,345 --> 01:30:48,481 I gotta admit, Allan's pretty damn funny. 2279 01:30:48,516 --> 01:30:49,350 I 2280 01:30:50,284 --> 01:30:51,118 forgive 2281 01:30:52,186 --> 01:30:53,020 Allan. 2282 01:30:54,689 --> 01:30:56,090 Yeah. 2283 01:30:56,123 --> 01:30:56,958 Me too. 2284 01:30:59,492 --> 01:31:00,995 Ugh. 2285 01:31:01,028 --> 01:31:02,363 Oh, fuck!