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1
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[narrator] Life when I was young
was so simple and innocent.
2
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,159
[distant laughter]
3
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,287
My friendships were filled with adventure.
4
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:46,463
We thought we could do anything
and become anyone we wanted.
5
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,595
Adolescence marked a sudden realization
6
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,264
that our relationships
are far more complicated
7
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,766
than we ever imagined.
8
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,907
Nothing quite prepares us for the struggle
9
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:18,161
for identity and intimacy
in today's world.
10
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:30,590
["Five Hours" Feat. DyCy
by Deorro playing]
11
00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,112
-[man] I'm from Texas.
-I'm from San Antonio.
12
00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,572
[woman] We're all from the Midwest area.
13
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:57,325
-[woman 2] I'm from France.
-[woman 3] I'm from Scotland.
14
00:01:57,909 --> 00:02:00,120
[man 3] I'm from New Jersey.
I go to Michigan State.
15
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,247
[man 4] I go to Duke University.
16
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,125
-[woman 3] North Carolina.
-[woman 4] I'm from New York.
17
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,919
-[woman 3] Where are we going?
-Spring break!
18
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,921
[screaming]
19
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,215
Hey!
20
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,968
[Sean Hannity] Every year,
hundreds of thousands
21
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,387
of college students head out
to a sunny destination
22
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:18,304
for spring break.
23
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,561
I'm studying sociology and psychology.
24
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:25,854
I want to be in nursing.
25
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:26,855
I want to be a teacher.
26
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,439
I'm in aerospace engineering.
27
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,316
I may be your doctor someday.
28
00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:31,901
[woman] These people that are here,
29
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,945
-they'll be the future leaders of America.
-[woman] Yes.
30
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:37,574
♪ We found some time ♪
31
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:41,494
There's a lot of naked people and a lot
of alcohol, and it's fucking great.
32
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,873
There's a lot of hooking up,
wet t-shirt contests.
33
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:48,585
People come to Panama City to basically
get fucked up and fuck bitches, that's it.
34
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:49,961
We're trying to get laid.
35
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,088
You can honestly do whatever you want.
36
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,975
[all] Show your tits! Show your tits!
37
00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:04,893
[cheering]
38
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,771
We live in a Kim Kardashian
sex tape world, right?
39
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,273
There is no line anymore.
40
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,442
[college student] She just became famous
off of a sex tape.
41
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,068
That's what our generation's built on.
42
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:16,279
[woman] To be accepted
and to be well liked,
43
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:19,157
you need to be nude,
you need to cross the line.
44
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,075
We just want to get down like Beyonce.
45
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,285
[woman] Hell yes.
46
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,703
Assume the position, girls.
47
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,628
[woman] Whether it's social media
with the Instagram,
48
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,589
with the Facebook, and whether
it's music videos, movies,
49
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:37,467
TV shows,
that's really what shapes our lives.
50
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,136
Sex sells. Like, that's just
how the market is nowadays.
51
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,179
[girl] Exactly!
52
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:44,599
Softcore porn really is everywhere.
50 Shades of Grey is softcore porn.
53
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,809
[man] I watch porn, she watches porn,
54
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:50,021
he watches porn
because that's what it's about.
55
00:03:56,110 --> 00:04:01,157
[man] We're in this grand experiment
where images of explicit sexuality are now
56
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,535
not just at the margins of the culture,
but they're at the heart of the culture.
57
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:07,080
The whole culture's kind
of been pornified,
58
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,039
if that's a word.
59
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:11,542
[Loden] What we've seen on television
and everything else,
60
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,420
sex is nothing anymore.
Sex doesn't mean anything.
61
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,672
Sex is just a pleasure.
62
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,353
[humming along with music]
63
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,689
[indistinct chatter]
64
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:34,983
[Shay] To be honest,
this is our first spring break
65
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,528
here in America.
We just come down for a good time.
66
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,239
We're not--we're not
come here to shag no one.
67
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,409
Uh... there's no reason for these
beads on our necks,
68
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:47,036
-but we just come down for a good time...
-Ah, but, this is just jewelery for me.
69
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,455
-Have a few drinks and enjoy ourselves.
-This is jewelery, ain't it?
70
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,585
[Benny] What's the first quality
you notice in a girl?
71
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:55,545
First quality?
72
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,463
[Benny] Yeah, what's the first thing
you notice about a girl?
73
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:58,548
It's face for me.
74
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,633
It's silly to say,
but obviously it's all about looks
75
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:05,305
to begin with, to begin with.
But I'll stop there, yeah.
76
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,431
[indistinct yelling]
77
00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,182
[Benny] Are a lot of people
having sex right now?
78
00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,059
-Is that what's going on?
-[Shay] In spring break?
79
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,686
How much-- Have you had sex yet?
80
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,521
Not at spring break, not at spring break.
81
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:14,856
No, I've had--I've had sex multiple--
82
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:16,899
Yeah, you had sex next to me last night.
83
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,444
-[chuckles] Yeah.
-So, yeah, he has. He has.
84
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:20,903
-[yelling in the background]
-So, anyway. So, it happens.
85
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,322
Oh, it happens all the time.
86
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,782
Of course it does.
That's why we come here, isn't it?
87
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,619
-[Benny] What does sex mean to you?
-[Shay] What does it mean to me?
88
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:29,662
[yelling in the background]
89
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:32,248
[Shay] Uh, depends on the situation, but--
90
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,376
It's just-- It's just a commodity really,
isn't it?
91
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,921
Today--today sex is all about fucking
getting it in.
92
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,382
-No, it's not. It's not about that.
-Yeah, it's a number. Sex is a number.
93
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,468
Sex is not a number.
That's terrible to say, but--
94
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:47,138
You knob, you're the prime example of it.
Yeah, sex is a number for you.
95
00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:49,724
For me, depends who you're shagging,
that's the thing.
96
00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:51,559
[Benny] Is it?
Is it about--is it about the number?
97
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,311
It's not about a number.
It's not. It can't be.
98
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,437
[man] Be honest. Be honest.
99
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,648
Yeah, all right. Go on.
It's about the number.
100
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:00,068
Dirty bastard. [chuckles]
101
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,444
What's your number?
102
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:02,695
Don't know.
103
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,238
Why did you lie?
104
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,740
♪ We like to drink with Shayman ♪
105
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,533
♪ 'Cause Shayman is our mate ♪
106
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:11,037
♪ And when we drink with Shayman
He finishes in ♪
107
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:15,500
[all] Seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one.
108
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:18,544
[all cheering]
109
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,924
[all sing] ♪ Raise your fucking hands up!
Raise your fucking hands up! ♪
110
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:24,717
-♪ Ta, ra, ra, ra ♪
-♪ Hey! ♪
111
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,469
-♪ Ta, ra, ra, ra ♪
-♪ Hey! ♪
112
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:29,722
[all] ♪ Raise your fucking hands up!
Raise your fucking hands up! ♪
113
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,557
-♪ Ta, ra, ra, ra ♪
-♪ Hey! ♪
114
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,392
-♪ Ta, ra, ra, ra ♪
-♪ Hey! ♪
115
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,482
[knock on door]
116
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:40,733
[door opens]
117
00:06:41,609 --> 00:06:42,735
-[man laughs]
-All right, fellas.
118
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:43,778
[man] Spring, uh...
119
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,530
-Spring break.
-All right, come on, come in, come in.
120
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,281
Come in to our humble abode.
121
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,826
-Come in, fellas. Come on, ladies.
-Here we are.
122
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,537
-Here we are.
-Is that your getup tonight?
123
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,038
That's what I'm wearing tonight.
124
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,624
-Hey, don't matter what we wear.
-[man whoops]
125
00:06:56,707 --> 00:06:58,334
We're all... color coordinated tonight.
126
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,711
[man] So, it looks like
you've been keeping your room
127
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:01,879
in pretty decent condition.
128
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:02,922
[indistinct chatter]
129
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,465
[man 2] You should have seen
the state of that bed last night,
130
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:05,550
blood stains, yes.
131
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,385
[man] Blood stains? Why, what happened?
132
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:08,386
-Did someone--
-[man] Ask him.
133
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:10,304
-Playing kind of hard again last night.
-[man] Someone was shagging hard.
134
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,640
-Ask... Ask him.
-[man] Someone was shagging a virgin.
135
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,309
-Ask big dick over here.
-[man] What happened?
136
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,562
-I cut me foot. I cut me foot.
-[men laugh]
137
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:20,148
-[man] It's not the only thing he cut.
-[indistinct taunts]
138
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,150
[man] Was she a virgin?
139
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,610
Yes, don't know. I'm gonna assume so.
140
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,279
-[Adam] She's not anymore.
-[man] She must have been.
141
00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:27,405
[Shay] Not anymore, yeah.
142
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:29,991
[Shay] I'll get her on speaker-phone.
143
00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,951
[Shep] Six--don't know what,
six, six, one, five.
144
00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:33,327
We're gonna talk about last night.
145
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:34,537
Get that boom in here.
146
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:38,040
[Shay] By the way, I've not-- I've not
spoken to her since last night, so.
147
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,209
-She's very interesting.
-[man] Since she bled on us.
148
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,378
-[Jessica] Hello?
-[Shay] Hey, is that Jessica?
149
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,713
[Jessica] Yeah.
150
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,089
[Shay] Hey Jessica, it's Shay.
151
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,633
Did you have--did you have
a good time last night?
152
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:48,593
Sorry, dear.
153
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,428
[Jessica] Yeah, yeah.
154
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,221
We liked hanging out with you guys.
You're really nice.
155
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,766
That's great to hear.
Did you want to do it again tonight?
156
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:59,353
Um, well, we'll have to play it by ear.
157
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:02,732
What? I'm devastated right now.
158
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,359
-He's in love, dear. He's in love.
-[Shay shushing]
159
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:08,154
-[man] Mate, don't ruin it.
-[Jessica] I just don't want to have sex.
160
00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,906
-What?
-[Jessica laughing]
161
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,867
I think you're an absolutely
gorgeous girl,
162
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,327
and I'd love to do it again.
163
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,954
-[Jessica] Wait, what?
-She's not. She's not.
164
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,833
[Shay] I think you're a gorgeous girl,
165
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,503
and I'd absolutely love to do
it again with you, dear.
166
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:25,630
[Jessica] Make out and--
167
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,924
OK, well, I'm sure we
can totally work that out.
168
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,470
Oh, fantastic, right.
Well, I'll meet you at Sharky's then?
169
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,180
[Jessica] OK, bye.
170
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,399
[man] So, we're on our way
to go meet this girl from last night.
171
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:49,195
Oh, shit. Yeah.
Forgot about that. That was a great show.
172
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:50,947
-Are we?
-[man] What do you think about that?
173
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,783
I think she's gorgeous.
I love-- Can't wait to meet her.
174
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:54,700
He's lying.
175
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,994
[man] Is there something
special about being with a virgin?
176
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,331
That's a very good question.
I think it's a challenge.
177
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:01,999
Challenge accepted.
178
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,043
That is--that is...
That is the ultimate challenge.
179
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,629
Because you take a virgin,
that's the ultimate challenge.
180
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,715
I'm not going to lie.
It took me a while to shag her last night.
181
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:10,633
But he done it.
182
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,468
Fucking everyone likes the chase,
don't they?
183
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:15,388
Everyone likes a bit
of a fucking challenge to have,
184
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,348
and--and--and a virgin offers that.
185
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:22,436
And I'm not complaining at all,
but, it was decent.
186
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,563
It was decent.
187
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,982
[man] Did the girls
sleep in the room too?
188
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:26,941
[Shep chuckles] No.
189
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,068
[Shay] It depends--It depends how ruined
they got the night before.
190
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,112
[Shep] Yeah, it depends.
If they're a trooper, once you bang them,
191
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,947
they'll put their clothes back
on and then they'll do one.
192
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,240
But sometimes they might fall asleep
193
00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:36,200
and they'll do one about
7 o'clock in the morning.
194
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,995
[man] And what happens when you--
Do you--Do you take them out to breakfast?
195
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,454
I like it when they stay.
196
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,164
We can go for long walks
on the beach and all sorts.
197
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,333
Why Shayman is being so good
in front of the camera?
198
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,502
[man] Is he telling the truth?
199
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,004
Did he take her out
to breakfast this morning?
200
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,881
She left. I was happy that she left.
She left straightaway.
201
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,174
[Shep] Straightaway. She's a trooper.
202
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:54,927
[man] What about tonight?
Are you going to shag?
203
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,805
-[Shep] I hope so.
-He's going to do his best, but--
204
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,015
Yeah, I'm going to put my best effort in.
205
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,516
[man] You need to get to
know her first though, right?
206
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,434
No.
207
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:05,021
What do you mean get to know her?
Yeah, I'll get to-- get to know her name,
208
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,439
where she's from, that's about it.
209
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:07,690
[man] And then it's--
210
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:09,191
Yeah, then it's down to business.
211
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,109
[Shay] That's your game?
212
00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:13,321
["International love"
by Chris Brown, playing]
213
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:16,907
[cheering]
214
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:52,193
[upbeat music continues]
215
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:05,956
So, anyway. This is my roommate, Benny.
216
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:07,333
He just wanted to ask you
a couple of questions.
217
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:08,584
Come on now.
218
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,044
[Benny] We're following him around.
219
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:13,339
So, we're just trying to capture
basically his journey on spring break.
220
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,049
So, you're trying to
have sex with all the girls?
221
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,509
No, no, it's--
222
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:17,635
[Benny] He just--
223
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:19,970
I would get in a lot of trouble
if my school knew about this.
224
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:20,971
Your school?
225
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,765
Yeah, I go to a private Christian school.
226
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,726
Look, honestly it's completely up to you.
You don't have to say a thing.
227
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,145
[Jessica] I would get in a lot of trouble.
228
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,648
I respect your decision.
Whatever you do. Whatever you say.
229
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,858
[Jessica] Yeah, I would get in
a lot of trouble.
230
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,318
[Shay] That's fine, that's fine.
231
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:38,989
OK. I'm going to go back.
232
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,282
That's fine.
233
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:45,579
[indistinct chatter]
234
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:49,542
We're gonna have a party
back at our place. Room 124.
235
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:52,044
-Room 124--
-[woman] 124?
236
00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:53,963
[Shay] And you girls are all more
than welcome to come.
237
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,423
You are more than welcome.
238
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:58,592
Let's do it! Come on, girls.
You're coming with us.
239
00:11:58,717 --> 00:11:59,802
[girl] OK.
240
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:06,308
[indistinct chatter]
241
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:11,814
[music continues]
242
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:26,120
[man] It's a totally
different world nowadays
243
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:29,206
that it's easy to have sex with girls.
244
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,876
They're down, just like guys are down.
You know what I mean?
245
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:35,838
That's what people do now.
You meet a girl, you hang out with her,
246
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:39,925
you flirt with her, you maybe, you know,
make out with her when you first meet her,
247
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:42,011
and then you can tell right away
if she's down or not.
248
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,763
And then your ultimate goal
is to take her back
249
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,307
and, you know, have sex with her.
250
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:49,810
As a guy, that's your goal
every time, you know?
251
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,146
We meet on the beach, we get drunk,
252
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:54,315
we go back to the hotel,
we have casual sex,
253
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,025
and then we go about our lives
like we never met.
254
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,068
That is so unrespectful.
255
00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,613
It's unrespectful, whatever,
but that's the way it works.
256
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:01,780
Yeah.
257
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,492
[Loden] Back in the past,
it would usually be, you know,
258
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,410
"Let me take you on a date,
let me get to know you
259
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,245
a little bit before we
take it any further."
260
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,540
Versus now,
now it's like you get a girl's number
261
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:15,377
and the majority of the guys here
are just thinking about sex.
262
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,131
Want to know how easy
sex is to get in America?
263
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:22,551
If you want to follow me, I will show you.
Well, let me show you.
264
00:13:22,676 --> 00:13:24,678
[man] ...take it away. Oh, yeah.
265
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,263
Fighting's easy in America too.
266
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:31,185
[crowd clamoring]
267
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,897
But we ain't going
to stress that, come on.
268
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:47,826
-Like, why the fuck are you so cute?
-I don't know. Do you even remember me?
269
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,995
Yeah, you slapped our asses earlier.
270
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,039
Well, can I get two kisses
on my cheeks from both of you?
271
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,083
-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
272
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,209
[woman] I really think you should have--
273
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:56,544
And it's like that. Society's horrible.
274
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,212
He should have won that hot body contest.
275
00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:01,507
Should have won the hot body contest.
It's all about self-image, publicity.
276
00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:02,925
It's all about beauty and how you look.
277
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:05,052
Yeah, for real. And you look--
278
00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:08,514
It's a horrible thing, but I don't mind
because I'm a guy.
279
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:12,017
I love, you know, I like orgasming.
280
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:15,145
So, these beautiful ladies right here,
like, Jesus Christ,
281
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:19,358
can you do a sexy pose for me?
Like, God dammit. Just like that.
282
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:22,945
Nothing, nothing, no morals behind it,
nothing behind it.
283
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,405
It's that simple, that simple.
284
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,449
Like, can I get two kisses
on the lips for me? Like...
285
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:28,826
I'll kiss him.
286
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,871
Want another example?
Let me show you some other shit. Come on.
287
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,665
I want some culture.
288
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,128
Can I get a kiss?
Where you been all my life?
289
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,421
[woman] Are we in a picture?
290
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:44,717
Ow! Oh my, Lord Jesus Christ.
291
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,343
You is fine with them damn dreads.
292
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,972
Damn, I'm fine, little baby girl.
Come pose for a sexy picture for my dawg.
293
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,348
Hey, what's happening?
294
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,475
Hey.
295
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:58,314
Just like that, hey.
It means nothing anymore.
296
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:00,566
-[woman] Come on.
-It means nothing, it's horrible.
297
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,067
-[woman 1] Do you want more?
-[woman 2] Come on.
298
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,695
Put that ass on him, girl.
299
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:10,159
[woman 1] Look at him go.
300
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,368
[woman 2] Hit it.
301
00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:17,499
Sex today, sex don't mean anything.
You can have one night stands, you know,
302
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,584
wake up in the morning,
and you can be like,
303
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,419
"All right, I'll move on with my day."
304
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:22,296
[woman] I mean, I know guys
that come down here
305
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,673
and try to have sex
with as many people as they can.
306
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,134
Like, competing with their friends,
307
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,969
and they'll see who can get
the biggest number.
308
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:33,015
One night stands
all night long, all night long.
309
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:34,892
Every day, every day.
310
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,268
[Benny] How many girls?
311
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,312
Three or four a night.
312
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,941
[Benny] Any... Any chance
for a longer-term relationship
313
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:42,983
with any of them?
314
00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:48,155
-Not at all. Not at all.
-[Benny] Any chance for finding love?
315
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,740
No, no.
316
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:53,410
DTF, down to fuck. Like...
317
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,871
-[Benny] That's what it's about, huh?
-It's all about fucking.
318
00:15:56,330 --> 00:16:00,125
It's not a love thing,
it's not a... a need, nothing.
319
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,126
Like, it doesn't matter.
320
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,587
Like, sex is sex, you know.
I would never talk to her again.
321
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:05,506
But maybe you could be pen pals?
322
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:06,465
No.
323
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,093
No, [chuckles] like I'm not going
to write letters and stuff.
324
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:10,636
I mean, who cares? Like.
325
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:15,808
Pftt, no. No love. That just eww.
326
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,726
[Benny] The girl with the pink bottoms,
that's your girlfriend?
327
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,520
Yeah, I got the teal bottoms.
328
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,730
We're here to have a good time.
They don't care, we don't care.
329
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,107
[Benny] Does she mind if you hook up?
330
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:26,485
-No. I don't know.
-[Benny] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
331
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,445
What does love mean to you guys?
332
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:29,905
Oh, I love her.
333
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,281
Yeah, me too.
334
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,243
I love her, but I love tits.
I'm going to chuck beads.
335
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,244
[Benny] Yeah, yeah.
336
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,787
But what does love mean?
337
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,081
-Love?
-[Benny] Yeah.
338
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,293
Love is not real. Love is not real.
339
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,630
It's like this fictitious thing
that society invents
340
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,882
-so you can have sex with someone.
-I see this. I see this.
341
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,968
Am I right? I'm right.
342
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:52,219
[indistinct chatter]
343
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,722
Oh, it's that easy.
344
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,015
Oh.
345
00:16:56,140 --> 00:17:00,185
[woman] Our generation
has given up on love, absolutely, I agree.
346
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,272
It's easier to find a fuck buddy
than a boyfriend.
347
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,774
Exactly. Oh my, God.
348
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,192
It's true.
349
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,861
[Loden] I would love to have sex with her.
350
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,821
Like, she beautiful,
and that's what it's all about.
351
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,948
Like, if you're--if you're attracted
to somebody,
352
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,324
it's nothing to have sex
these days, right?
353
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,118
Yeah, I feel like you should
just have sex. It's nothing.
354
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:19,038
[Loden] Can I just get a hug?
Can I grab that ass one time?
355
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:19,997
Like, where have you been?
356
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,582
Come on, it's spring break,
it's spring break.
357
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,083
-[woman] OK, go ahead.
-[man] I'm ready.
358
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,961
-[Loden] God damn.
-[woman] Oh my, God. Oh my, God.
359
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:28,422
-[man] Easy.
-We shall move on from here.
360
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,883
Whoa, whoa, whoa, camera's on you.
361
00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:32,301
Hey!
362
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,939
[man mumbles]
363
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,233
Pass the champagne.
364
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,527
Champagne on her shoes.
365
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:54,156
One of my really good girlfriends
that I knew for a long time,
366
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:55,449
she has this problem where she just like,
367
00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,409
she hooks up with anybody,
and she admits it,
368
00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:59,078
-and she was--
-[Loden] That's what we call a slut.
369
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,621
[Dakota] She was talking to me--
yeah, she's--
370
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:01,580
[Loden] She's a ho.
371
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,540
Yeah, she was talking to me,
like, the other day,
372
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,876
and she was like,
"Me and my girlfriend were talking,
373
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,003
and we both happened
to hook up with the same guy,
374
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,380
-and he texted us in the morning."
-[Loden] Eskimo sisters.
375
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,591
No, "He texted us in the morning
and was like,
376
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:15,052
"'Hey, I had a good time,
like it was nice to see you.'
377
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:18,680
And we sat down and talked about
what a great guy he was,
378
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,724
because he texted us in the morning."
379
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:23,185
And I was like, "What?"
380
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,270
And then, like, she was like,
"I realized how awful
381
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,730
that was later because, like,
382
00:18:26,855 --> 00:18:28,565
every other guy we've been
hooking up with,
383
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:31,485
or like that I've been hooking
up with hadn't texted us,
384
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:32,820
had completely ignored us.
385
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,155
Like, they acted weird
when we came around."
386
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,658
And I was like, "That's wrong."
387
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,285
And people will completely
dismiss any emotions
388
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:41,286
that go with sex,
389
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,956
because it's not supposed
to matter anymore.
390
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:49,253
It's not supposed to be a big thing.
And I think that's the big difference
391
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,130
between the '60s sexual revolution
392
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:54,925
and now is that in the '60s,
it still had to do with emotion.
393
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:57,886
Like, even though it was free sex,
it still was about,
394
00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:00,639
"Oh, I love this person,
I care about this person,
395
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,474
I want to, like, spend time
with this person."
396
00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:04,810
But it's become a thing where
it's not about love anymore,
397
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:07,187
it's not about, like, relationships.
398
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:10,149
It's become a thing where sex
has to do with feeling good.
399
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,192
[Loden] Takes away all the special meaning
of sex, right?
400
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,945
It took away the special meaning of like,
"Oh, I fell in love with this person,
401
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,781
like I'm going to have sex with them.
This is something really special."
402
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,824
[Loden] Let me rephrase that.
403
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:22,286
Not took away the meaning of sex,
they took away the meaning of making love.
404
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,580
They think love doesn't exist.
405
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:25,998
It doesn't exist anymore.
406
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,916
-No. Not anymore
-Not anymore.
407
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,877
[Dakota] Not at all.
408
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,550
[Donna Freitas] The predominant
story about sex
409
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:39,595
in college is, you know,
we're casual about it.
410
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:43,557
So, the ideal attitude
in a hookup is whatever.
411
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:46,727
That's how you're successful at it,
because if you're whatever about it,
412
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:47,936
you can walk away and be like,
413
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,688
"I don't care if I ever see
that person again.
414
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,106
I don't care about the experience either."
415
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,401
So, the message people
are receiving is ambivalence
416
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,737
is the best attitude to have about sex.
417
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,073
[Caroline Heldman]
Young people in our culture
418
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,118
learn what it means to be a man,
what it means to be a woman,
419
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,870
how they're supposed
to relate to each other,
420
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,998
how they're supposed to have sex
from popular culture,
421
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,667
whether it's social media,
film, television,
422
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,878
pornography, their peers.
423
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:17,090
And you see this theme
of non-intimate sex, you know,
424
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,260
throughout every type of popular
culture that's out there,
425
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:23,555
which is a different type of sex
than the sex we used to see.
426
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:28,268
I don't care what you like
or what your name is.
427
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,688
And the good news is you don't
have to care about me either,
428
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:36,193
and we can still tear each other apart.
429
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:38,612
-What do you think?
-[tisks] You know what?
430
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,823
I'm going to say yes.
I think, yeah. Let's do this.
431
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,369
[Robert]
Traditionally, it has been men
432
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:48,205
who have driven that kind of culture,
433
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:52,459
men who have wanted to be
able to score without complication.
434
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,295
But in a hookup culture,
the big difference is...
435
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:58,257
it's not just the expectations
that men have...
436
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:01,009
of being sexually promiscuous,
437
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:04,638
but it's women actively
participating in it
438
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:07,641
and essentially accepting
those as kind of the rules
439
00:21:07,724 --> 00:21:08,725
of the sexual game.
440
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,311
I think sex is more important
right at the beginning,
441
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:15,107
to find out what's happening,
because you don't know what's happening.
442
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,858
So, you like to have
the sex right away...
443
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,485
-Yeah.
-...and then find out, like,
444
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,820
you know, who are you,
445
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,113
Yeah...
446
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,656
how did you get in here?
447
00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,953
[Donna] In a culture of casual sex,
448
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,497
my job is to essentially
shut down emotionally
449
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:33,417
and shut down as a person
in order to be sexually intimate with you.
450
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,419
I'm going to pretend like
you're not really a person,
451
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,754
you're just there for my pleasure.
452
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:41,091
Whether or not students
are able to actually
453
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:42,968
live this out is one thing,
454
00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:44,803
but this is the message
that they're getting.
455
00:21:44,928 --> 00:21:49,141
That this is sort of the ideal
for the casual encounter at college.
456
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,686
And so students
are working hard not to care,
457
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:56,315
they're working hard to have
meaningless sexual encounters.
458
00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:59,818
Love isn't part of the college
experience anymore.
459
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,572
[Benny] So, of all the girls
that you guys have hooked up
460
00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:04,865
with this week, how many
of them do you think
461
00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:05,782
you'll stay in touch with?
462
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,493
I don't think we'll see anybody again
that we met this week.
463
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,621
-We-We're not. We're not--
-[man] We're not.
464
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,165
You're not--you're not going to
meet up with anyone.
465
00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:14,082
-Thing is, he don't love them.
-[Benny] Shep.
466
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,500
-What's that?
-[Benny] How many?
467
00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:17,753
Honestly, I reckon--I reckon
we might keep in touch with boys
468
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:19,004
who stayed at this site.
469
00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:20,589
Oh yeah, the guys--
470
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:21,882
[Benny] No, no, no, of the girls
you hooked up with?
471
00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:23,091
Oh, the girls, no.
472
00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:26,094
Hang on, we need a few girls. Girls!
473
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:27,637
-He's lost without them.
-[Shay] Excuse me, girls.
474
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:28,972
[woman] Hello.
475
00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,140
[Shay] How's it going?
476
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,145
[Anna] Where are you from?
477
00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:36,188
[Shay] I'm from Australia.
478
00:22:36,980 --> 00:22:38,857
Australia? I'm from Ohio.
479
00:22:38,982 --> 00:22:40,942
[Shay] Ohio? What was your name again?
480
00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:41,985
[Anna] I'm Anna.
481
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:43,278
[Shay] Anna, you're gorgeous by the way.
482
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:46,531
-[Anna] Thank you.
-[Benny] So, what do you want to do?
483
00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:48,658
What are you guys going
to do down here this week?
484
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:54,748
I mean, just party, drink.
I mean, meet as many people as possible.
485
00:22:54,998 --> 00:22:56,792
-That's my only--
-I'm used?
486
00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:59,920
It's my only week break
for probably another year.
487
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:01,088
[Benny] Are you going to have sex?
488
00:23:01,379 --> 00:23:02,214
[woman] Nope.
489
00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:03,298
I mean, no.
490
00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:05,842
-No?
-I don't know.
491
00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:08,887
See you in a bit, sunshine.
I'm just kidding,
492
00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:10,639
I'm just-- I'm just making--
493
00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:12,182
I'm just playing with you, darling.
494
00:23:12,265 --> 00:23:13,225
It's a little dangerous.
495
00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:15,393
Oh, it's dangerous?
Dangerous? Why is it dangerous?
496
00:23:15,977 --> 00:23:17,813
-I don't know anyone here.
-Come and kiss on my cheek.
497
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:25,779
-Oh, I like that. I like that.
-[Anna] Thank you.
498
00:23:25,946 --> 00:23:28,073
-Do you want a drink? Would you like one?
-Absolutely.
499
00:23:28,156 --> 00:23:30,867
-What are you drinking?
-Nothing. I don't have a drink.
500
00:23:30,992 --> 00:23:32,577
All right, come on, then.
We'll get you sorted out with a drink.
501
00:23:39,292 --> 00:23:40,377
[man sighs]
502
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:44,714
[indistinct conversation]
503
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:48,969
["I could be the one"
by Avicii vs Nicky Romero playing]
504
00:23:52,055 --> 00:23:54,474
[indistinct chatter]
505
00:24:06,361 --> 00:24:07,404
[indistinct chatter]
506
00:24:07,487 --> 00:24:09,322
[man] We best get out, hey.
507
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:12,492
[indistinct chatter]
508
00:24:14,077 --> 00:24:15,996
[Shep] I know, literally, like,
just walked in there,
509
00:24:16,079 --> 00:24:18,415
he's giving her the, "You're cute,
can I have a kiss?"
510
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:20,417
And then as you boys have just seen.
511
00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:21,501
Just like that?
512
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:23,587
-[Will] With Shay it is.
-Yeah.
513
00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:25,547
When you got a dick his size,
of course it is.
514
00:24:26,923 --> 00:24:28,175
Shouldn't they
get to know each other first?
515
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:29,551
[man] No.
516
00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:32,053
You're only gonna give one kiss.
What's the harm with one kiss?
517
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:35,348
[Will] If it was just gonna be one kiss.
518
00:24:37,058 --> 00:24:38,310
Hey, give us 5 minutes.
519
00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:39,686
[man chuckles]
520
00:24:40,478 --> 00:24:42,230
[laughing]
521
00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:46,318
-Oh, that's coming from the horse's mouth.
-Oh, mate.
522
00:24:46,484 --> 00:24:47,319
Fuck you. Oh, look at that.
523
00:24:47,402 --> 00:24:49,487
He's even turned the fucking thing off.
524
00:24:49,571 --> 00:24:50,447
[all chuckle]
525
00:24:50,530 --> 00:24:51,907
[Ben] Lights are off, door's locked.
526
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:52,908
Oh, fuck.
527
00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:55,577
-So, yeah.
-Mate, are the lights off?
528
00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:56,536
-[Shep] Yeah.
-[Ben] Lights are off.
529
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:58,622
And that's...
And that's the bottom "light".
530
00:24:58,788 --> 00:25:00,373
And that's your spring break, fellas.
531
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:02,918
Well, I've gone and left my phone
in there.
532
00:25:05,295 --> 00:25:08,006
[Benny] So, it's basically,
"Hi, how are you doing?
533
00:25:09,424 --> 00:25:10,550
Want to have sex?"
534
00:25:10,717 --> 00:25:13,428
-Na, we're... nah, we're not--
-[man] We're not that smooth.
535
00:25:13,511 --> 00:25:14,471
We're not that direct,
536
00:25:14,596 --> 00:25:16,181
we're not that forward.
We like to have a little bit of a chat,
537
00:25:16,264 --> 00:25:19,100
and just complement the girl,
tell her how good looking she is,
538
00:25:19,517 --> 00:25:23,897
and she'll just fall for it.
Especially with the accent as well.
539
00:25:24,981 --> 00:25:27,943
Well, you saw her. He went,
"You're--You're cute, can I have a kiss?"
540
00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:29,819
And then the kisses obviously turn into...
541
00:25:29,986 --> 00:25:31,947
and then that's then turned into
the lights being turned off,
542
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:33,615
door shut, door locked.
543
00:25:33,740 --> 00:25:35,700
-[Benny] How many minutes?
-What?
544
00:25:35,825 --> 00:25:36,701
[Benny] How many minutes?
545
00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:39,663
What, [chuckles] from meeting her?
Eight, what was it?
546
00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:40,997
Like 15?
547
00:25:41,122 --> 00:25:43,083
-[Ben] Fifteen, twenty minutes.
-[man laughs]
548
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:45,377
[Shep] And the best thing
is part of, like,
549
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,629
today's culture and society,
it's going to happen.
550
00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:52,175
You just got to accept it, embrace it,
and hopefully one day we'll grow up
551
00:25:52,259 --> 00:25:54,344
and be like granddad Brown over there.
552
00:25:56,721 --> 00:25:57,639
[rap music plays]
553
00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,432
[Anna] Oh, hi.
554
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:01,017
[indistinct chatter]
555
00:26:01,101 --> 00:26:02,143
Awkward.
556
00:26:03,561 --> 00:26:04,771
[man] I'm all right...
557
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:06,648
See you later, sweetheart.
558
00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:10,318
We're going to go to our hotel.
Sorry, bye.
559
00:26:11,152 --> 00:26:13,280
[Shay] She come. She saw. Shay conquered.
560
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:14,990
[all laughing]
561
00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:19,077
[man] Something happened in there.
Something happened in there.
562
00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:21,830
[Will] How was that--
How was that drink going in there, mate?
563
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,415
[Shay] Ah, we had a lovely drink together.
564
00:26:23,498 --> 00:26:25,375
-[Shep] Yeah, right.
-[indistinct chatter]
565
00:26:25,458 --> 00:26:27,794
-Got a nice little--
-[Shay whooping]
566
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,045
[man] Nice little cuddle in there.
567
00:26:29,212 --> 00:26:31,548
-[Shay] Yeah, she's a lovely girl.
-[man] Nice to have a cuddle in there.
568
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:32,465
[Shay] Lovely girl, actually.
569
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:34,718
-[Ben] Nice to have a cuddle in that.
-[Shay] I got to know her really well.
570
00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:37,220
[all laugh]
571
00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:41,182
[Shay] See you, darling.
See you tomorrow night.
572
00:26:42,183 --> 00:26:43,268
Smell my fingers.
573
00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:44,936
[laughing]
574
00:26:47,814 --> 00:26:50,108
[taunting]
575
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,569
[Shep] That literally took you
20 minutes...
576
00:26:52,694 --> 00:26:54,571
From there, in there, lights off, posh.
577
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,281
Happy days.
578
00:26:59,534 --> 00:27:01,244
[Shep] When's the next one coming in?
579
00:27:01,661 --> 00:27:03,538
Ladies? Come on up.
580
00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,167
[Shay] Nah, can't be doing that,
can't be doing that.
581
00:27:07,792 --> 00:27:08,626
Or can we?
582
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:11,546
[Will] Of course, he can.
583
00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:13,840
[Shay] Guys, she's really a lovely girl,
584
00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:15,258
-really good looking...
-What's she called?
585
00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:16,760
...really nice rack of tits.
586
00:27:16,926 --> 00:27:18,178
-[Shep] What's her name?
-Jenny.
587
00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:20,597
-[man] That's a fucking lie.
-Or Amy.
588
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,223
[Shay] What was your name again?
589
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:23,391
[Anna] I'm Anna.
590
00:27:23,558 --> 00:27:24,601
[Shay] Anna, you're gorgeous by the way.
591
00:27:24,684 --> 00:27:25,810
[Anna] Thank you.
592
00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:29,189
[Shay] Ah, let's go Jenny,
go Jenny, go Jenny.
593
00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:33,026
[Benny] So, what were the qualities
that attracted you to her?
594
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:34,819
-To begin with--
-[Adam] She was easy.
595
00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:39,657
She put out.
596
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:42,827
-Great thing on a girl.
-I love a girl that puts out.
597
00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:44,829
Yeah, she's a very good looking--
598
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:47,332
I said that to her.
I said, "look, you're gorgeous,
599
00:27:47,582 --> 00:27:49,709
-down to earth...
-[man laughs]
600
00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:51,586
...really easy to get along with."
601
00:27:51,711 --> 00:27:54,923
He said...
He said all the things she wanted to hear.
602
00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:56,341
[Shay] Exactly,
that's what she wanted to hear,
603
00:27:56,549 --> 00:27:58,009
and I gave it to her.
604
00:27:58,259 --> 00:28:00,678
-[man laughs]
-Oh, fuck, that sounded horrible.
605
00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:05,266
But I'm not going to lie.
I did give it to her.
606
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,227
[man chuckles]
607
00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:09,521
[Benny] Is there a chance
for a relationship?
608
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,148
[Shay] To be honest,
she's a very good looking girl,
609
00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:13,817
and she's very easygoing.
610
00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:16,444
If she wanted to shag again tonight,
yeah, for sure, yeah.
611
00:28:16,694 --> 00:28:19,572
But at this stage,
I've no idea where she lives,
612
00:28:19,697 --> 00:28:21,533
no idea where she's from, so.
613
00:28:21,616 --> 00:28:22,659
[Benny] Tell you what,
do you reckon you can--
614
00:28:22,742 --> 00:28:27,539
To be honest, probably not.
To be honest, most likely not,
615
00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:31,876
but, uh, that's the way things happen,
that's the way things go on spring break.
616
00:28:32,001 --> 00:28:32,836
Girls.
617
00:28:33,253 --> 00:28:35,922
Girls, girls, come on down.
Come on down, how's it going?
618
00:28:36,005 --> 00:28:36,965
[woman] Good.
619
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:38,383
-[Shay] How are you doing?
-[man] She's a nice looking girl.
620
00:28:38,466 --> 00:28:39,384
[Shay] You look dressed up tonight.
621
00:28:39,467 --> 00:28:40,385
[woman] Thank you.
622
00:28:40,593 --> 00:28:42,470
-[man] Girls, where are you going?
-[Shep] Girls, where are you going?
623
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:43,388
[man] Girls, come here.
624
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,223
[Shay] She smelled good earlier, but--
625
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:46,516
[Shep] Not now.
626
00:28:48,017 --> 00:28:48,893
[Shay] Oh, hey ladies.
627
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:50,103
[Shep] Where you off to tonight?
628
00:28:50,186 --> 00:28:51,229
[man] Where you going tonight, girls?
629
00:28:51,312 --> 00:28:52,230
[woman] I'm not really sure.
630
00:28:52,313 --> 00:28:54,357
[Shay] Looking very well-dressed up.
I like it, I like it.
631
00:28:54,441 --> 00:28:56,693
-Thank you.
-Not enough girls dress up around here.
632
00:28:56,776 --> 00:28:58,027
[woman] Yeah, we tried.
633
00:28:59,195 --> 00:29:01,156
[inaudible speaking]
634
00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:06,411
[Donna] Casual sex in theory
is supposed to be this very exciting,
635
00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:10,498
you know, one time experience,
full of desire and pleasure.
636
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:13,168
And you know, in theory,
it's like this very exciting,
637
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:15,003
almost like movie-like encounter.
638
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:21,718
However, those almost are non-existent
when you talk to college students.
639
00:29:22,302 --> 00:29:25,388
It's really hard to find someone
who can describe
640
00:29:25,472 --> 00:29:26,681
something like that.
641
00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:32,687
There are all these messages
out there for young men,
642
00:29:32,812 --> 00:29:35,190
young women to act
a certain way around sex,
643
00:29:35,315 --> 00:29:36,858
around each other, around relationships
644
00:29:36,983 --> 00:29:39,194
or not having relationships,
around hooking up.
645
00:29:40,028 --> 00:29:43,114
And so I think we need
to look at what students
646
00:29:43,239 --> 00:29:45,575
are learning about
what it means to be a man
647
00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:47,535
and what it means to be
a liberated young woman
648
00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:49,370
with regard to sexuality.
649
00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:02,133
[Jackson Katz] There are so many ways
in which we,
650
00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:04,886
as a culture, are teaching
our sons and men
651
00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:08,139
what it means to be a man.
There's the media culture, of course,
652
00:30:08,264 --> 00:30:13,394
whether it's Hollywood, film,
or pornography, or videogames, television.
653
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,314
They have the sports culture,
where there's lots of lessons
654
00:30:16,397 --> 00:30:20,109
about manhood that boys
from the earliest ages are absorbing.
655
00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:22,946
And it's saying that being a man
means being powerful,
656
00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,448
being in control,
being in control of yourself,
657
00:30:25,573 --> 00:30:29,536
in control of situations.
It means getting the respect of others.
658
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:34,791
I mean, it's so deeply embedded,
this--this idea of manhood as powerful.
659
00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:37,752
And that's profoundly
influential in shaping
660
00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:40,213
men's sexual self-understanding.
661
00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:41,714
♪ Hope you understand that, bitch ♪
662
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,258
♪ Bitch, I'm the man ♪
663
00:30:43,633 --> 00:30:44,926
♪ Ho, I'm the man ♪
664
00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:46,386
♪ You know I'm the man ♪
665
00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:47,387
♪ Bitch, I'm the man ♪
666
00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:48,680
♪ Yeah ♪
667
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:49,889
♪ Ho, I'm the man ♪
668
00:30:50,056 --> 00:30:51,224
♪ You know I'm the man ♪
669
00:30:51,432 --> 00:30:52,809
♪ Bitch, I'm the man ♪
670
00:30:52,892 --> 00:30:54,352
-♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ Ho, I'm the man ♪
671
00:30:54,602 --> 00:30:56,145
-♪ Yeah ♪
-♪ You know I'm the man ♪
672
00:30:56,312 --> 00:30:58,231
♪ Know I'm the man, know I'm the man ♪
673
00:30:58,356 --> 00:31:00,525
[Sut Jhally] Masculinity in this culture
is about
674
00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:04,445
a notion of--of male strength.
And then women play into that.
675
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:05,989
Women [chuckles] are one of the--
676
00:31:06,072 --> 00:31:08,575
one of the ways in which
you can express that power.
677
00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:10,285
Women are one of the ways in which--
678
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:12,495
on--on whose bodies
you express that power.
679
00:31:12,620 --> 00:31:15,248
And so, real men, you know,
sleep with a lot of women.
680
00:31:15,790 --> 00:31:17,917
If you're a real man,
you're a player, you're a guy.
681
00:31:18,001 --> 00:31:19,252
You know, I mean, it's the ideal.
682
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:25,925
Don't rush into cinco, start with Dos.
683
00:31:26,342 --> 00:31:30,972
Please welcome Instagram's most loved
and hated man, Dan Bilzerian.
684
00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:32,891
[audience cheers]
685
00:31:33,099 --> 00:31:34,309
One of the reasons I started
686
00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:36,519
the Instagram stuff was just
so I could get laid without,
687
00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:38,104
like, actually, like,
having conversations.
688
00:31:38,187 --> 00:31:39,022
[audience laughs]
689
00:31:39,147 --> 00:31:41,357
[host] You've banged as many as four women
in one night, right?
690
00:31:41,441 --> 00:31:42,775
-[Dan] Yeah.
-[host] Wow.
691
00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:44,694
Wish you could
teach me to be a man.
692
00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:47,780
[Robert] In pop culture,
sex is seen as something
693
00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:51,826
that young men do to validate
their--thier own masculinity.
694
00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:55,246
It's a vehicle for young men
towards self-esteem.
695
00:31:56,205 --> 00:31:57,874
We just want to know something, OK?
696
00:31:58,207 --> 00:32:01,461
Are you going to be fucking that later,
or you going to be a little wimp, huh?
697
00:32:02,378 --> 00:32:03,713
How do you know I haven't already?
698
00:32:03,838 --> 00:32:05,298
Ah, shit, boy.
699
00:32:05,381 --> 00:32:08,051
Get out of here.
I think it's past your bedtime.
700
00:32:08,217 --> 00:32:09,552
Run along.
701
00:32:10,386 --> 00:32:12,805
I always say that masculinity
is really a performance.
702
00:32:12,889 --> 00:32:16,309
It's a performance that boys, uh,
do for other boys.
703
00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:20,939
And so, what ends up happening
is that girls become part
704
00:32:21,105 --> 00:32:23,566
of how boys prove their
masculinity to each other.
705
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,736
It's all about a chance for them to prove,
hey, I got the hottest girlfriend
706
00:32:26,903 --> 00:32:28,696
or I have this--this many girlfriends.
707
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:31,616
And so she's not necessarily a girl
708
00:32:31,699 --> 00:32:34,077
with a name and identity,
but she's an opportunity
709
00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:36,496
for me to prove my masculinity
to my friends.
710
00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:41,000
[Benny] What does it mean
to you to be a man?
711
00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:42,543
What's it mean to be a man?
712
00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:43,836
[Benny] Define masculinity.
713
00:32:44,837 --> 00:32:47,590
[man] Well, uh, as a man, I can...
714
00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:50,969
I'm different from girls because,
just like I said,
715
00:32:51,094 --> 00:32:54,806
girls may, uh, choose yes, no, all right?
716
00:32:55,098 --> 00:32:56,683
I'd--I'd fuck any girl here.
717
00:32:57,016 --> 00:32:59,644
That's--that's just me,
and I feel that's just a man.
718
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,980
That's--that's what we were
put on this earth to do.
719
00:33:02,063 --> 00:33:03,022
Yeah.
720
00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:06,651
-[Benny] That's it?
-That's it.
721
00:33:07,068 --> 00:33:11,155
And... And work out, big muscles,
get these girls.
722
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:13,825
Like, those boobs, holy shit.
723
00:33:14,033 --> 00:33:14,951
[Benny] Are you going
to go pick up on her?
724
00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:19,455
Oh, I've been talking to her.
Her name's Jenna or some-- Yeah, Jenna.
725
00:33:28,631 --> 00:33:30,717
-[woman] Ellen.
-[man] What?
726
00:33:31,217 --> 00:33:32,260
Ellen!
727
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:33,469
-[Dan] Ellen?
-Ellen.
728
00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:35,054
We can go back to my room.
729
00:33:35,263 --> 00:33:37,640
[Ellen screams, chuckles]
I'm not going back to your room.
730
00:33:41,102 --> 00:33:42,228
You both can come.
731
00:33:43,563 --> 00:33:46,232
[Ellen] There's no way.
I'm not drunk enough.
732
00:33:46,315 --> 00:33:47,525
[Dan] Yeah, you are.
733
00:33:48,526 --> 00:33:50,695
No, I'm not. I'm not.
734
00:33:51,237 --> 00:33:52,488
Sorry, Dan.
735
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:57,368
[Ellen]He can't pick us up.
He couldn't pick us up.
736
00:33:57,493 --> 00:33:58,661
My pick up line didn't work.
737
00:33:59,078 --> 00:34:03,166
See, I got denied again.
But it's on to the next girl.
738
00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:08,671
Today, guys rate you on
how many girls you get
739
00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:09,922
if you really think about it.
740
00:34:10,089 --> 00:34:12,133
Like, some guys look up
to you just because of that.
741
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:14,552
I feel like--
I feel like a lot of it's like,
742
00:34:14,677 --> 00:34:16,429
you know, being like in a pack, you know?
743
00:34:16,637 --> 00:34:18,765
Like, if you're the dude that's having sex
with the most girls,
744
00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:20,933
you're the cooler dude
and stuff like that, you know, like...
745
00:34:23,978 --> 00:34:25,897
[all cheering]
746
00:34:25,980 --> 00:34:29,400
Sex, it's kind of like
bragging rights to my boys, you know?
747
00:34:29,776 --> 00:34:32,111
Who doesn't like to say
I hooked up with a girl?
748
00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:34,572
Whoo!
749
00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:37,241
Well, this man's on, like,
count number four already, I think.
750
00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:38,409
I ain't going to lie.
751
00:34:38,534 --> 00:34:40,578
I fucked like 25 of them hoes
without a condom.
752
00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:41,579
That's what I thought.
753
00:34:41,662 --> 00:34:42,914
That's when you know you with the shit.
754
00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:44,749
Like I said, I had sex in a port-a-potty.
755
00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:46,501
[man] I had sex-- I had sex on the beach.
756
00:34:47,126 --> 00:34:48,127
My man.
757
00:34:54,842 --> 00:34:57,470
[man] For me and him,
we're always going for the BBD
758
00:34:57,595 --> 00:34:58,596
the Bigger Better Deal.
759
00:34:58,721 --> 00:35:00,473
-[man 1] Bigger Better Deal.
-[man 2] The Bigger Better Deal.
760
00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:03,476
I mean, you look at pornos,
they have all these categories.
761
00:35:03,559 --> 00:35:06,354
It's like, big tits,
big asses, I mean like--
762
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:07,480
Asian.
763
00:35:08,064 --> 00:35:10,441
So, you're always just like,
"What am I feeling right now?"
764
00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:12,777
Because, like, you can look at
like 20 different girls
765
00:35:12,902 --> 00:35:16,072
at one time, just like here's a girl.
OK, she's hot.
766
00:35:16,155 --> 00:35:18,699
I'm going to X out this one.
I'm going to find a different girl.
767
00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:21,369
Like, you go black, Asian,
fucking Chinese,
768
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:23,246
and like just keep on mixing it up.
769
00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:26,207
And that's what is moving you
away from relationship
770
00:35:26,332 --> 00:35:29,377
is just the BBD factor,
the bigger better deal.
771
00:35:29,585 --> 00:35:31,587
It's al-- There's always someone
that can be better.
772
00:35:31,879 --> 00:35:35,424
Always a girl that can be hotter,
always a girl that can have a bigger butt,
773
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:39,053
always a girl that can have bigger tits,
always a girl that could have better tits
774
00:35:39,178 --> 00:35:43,516
than the one that you're with right now.
You're not looking for a girl that's cool,
775
00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:45,518
you're looking
for a girl that's sexy as fuck
776
00:35:45,726 --> 00:35:46,894
so that you can bring her out,
777
00:35:46,978 --> 00:35:48,980
and so when people look, like,
"Damn, that dude's killing it
778
00:35:49,063 --> 00:35:50,273
because that girl's sexy as fuck."
779
00:35:50,356 --> 00:35:51,607
You're looking
for the neck-breakers, dude.
780
00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:53,943
The girl-- The girls that guys
are turning their necks for.
781
00:36:03,578 --> 00:36:05,454
-Give us a minute.
-[man] OK.
782
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:07,957
[speaking indistinctly]
783
00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:09,375
[woman] It's getting fancy here.
784
00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:17,550
[Caroline] It makes complete sense
to me that men
785
00:36:17,675 --> 00:36:19,135
would engage in hookup culture,
786
00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:23,598
because they get the proverbial
bro fist bump, right?
787
00:36:23,890 --> 00:36:27,268
Uh, they get attention, uh,
for sleeping with women.
788
00:36:27,351 --> 00:36:30,646
In fact, the more you sleep with,
the cooler,
789
00:36:30,771 --> 00:36:33,232
tougher, more manly you are assumed to be.
790
00:36:35,234 --> 00:36:37,695
But at the end of the day,
I think there are a lot of men
791
00:36:37,820 --> 00:36:40,281
who don't want to do that,
but they feel a lot of social pressure
792
00:36:40,573 --> 00:36:43,910
to do that from other men
in order to get their validation
793
00:36:43,993 --> 00:36:45,077
for being a real man.
794
00:36:45,745 --> 00:36:48,873
As boys, to become men,
you're taught that you're supposed
795
00:36:48,998 --> 00:36:50,499
to always want to have sex,
796
00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:53,294
you're supposed to always
want to be on the prowl.
797
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,963
You're never supposed to turn sex down.
798
00:36:56,881 --> 00:36:59,217
If you're a boy, and a girl
wants to have sex with you
799
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:01,177
and you say, "I don't want to have sex,"
800
00:37:02,094 --> 00:37:04,972
that's extremely deflating
to your manhood.
801
00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:07,934
To the extent that you haven't slept with
a lot of women,
802
00:37:08,142 --> 00:37:09,101
and yet the culture says,
803
00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:13,022
"A real man sleeps with a lot of women,"
that puts a lot of anxiety in terms
804
00:37:13,105 --> 00:37:15,524
of what your relationships
with women should be.
805
00:37:16,651 --> 00:37:18,903
It puts a lot of anxiety into,
"Well, I've got to sleep
806
00:37:18,986 --> 00:37:20,488
with someone really quickly,
807
00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:23,199
I've got to have sex quickly
so I can be a real man."
808
00:37:24,742 --> 00:37:28,579
And I think that has its own level
of anxiety that is built into it,
809
00:37:29,872 --> 00:37:31,040
that masculinity isn't just
810
00:37:31,165 --> 00:37:32,541
this one dimensional thing
where, you know,
811
00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:34,168
men go around acting tough.
812
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:36,212
Men are full of these insecurities,
813
00:37:36,337 --> 00:37:40,883
men are full of these anxieties
about not measuring up.
814
00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:47,056
Uh, let me tell you something,
[stammers] a boy said to me once
815
00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,684
that I think really captures this.
816
00:37:49,976 --> 00:37:55,106
He--he said that in school,
there was pressure on him to date.
817
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:59,694
This is the first year of high school.
And he was resisting that.
818
00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:02,363
He said there were even girls
who were telling him
819
00:38:02,530 --> 00:38:04,657
he was cute and they would
like to go out with him,
820
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:08,160
and he didn't want to do that.
And I said, "Why?"
821
00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:12,164
And he said, "I just want
to be a kid as long as I can.
822
00:38:13,374 --> 00:38:15,126
I mean, I just want some space
823
00:38:15,209 --> 00:38:19,297
where I don't have to
always be on sexually."
824
00:38:19,630 --> 00:38:23,467
But the culture was demanding it of him.
His peers were demanding of it.
825
00:38:23,592 --> 00:38:26,304
The media he was consuming
was demanding of it.
826
00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:29,056
I think that a whole lot of kids who,
827
00:38:29,557 --> 00:38:33,144
if they could verbalize it,
would say something like that,
828
00:38:33,269 --> 00:38:35,521
"I just want to be a kid
for as long as I can."
829
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:45,781
I've got 16 close friends,
and I was laughed at for...
830
00:38:45,948 --> 00:38:49,160
[stammers] Probably about four of us
who were virgins after 16.
831
00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:53,664
And it was constant,
"Oh, you're still a virgin?
832
00:38:53,831 --> 00:38:56,625
Why are you still a virgin?
Let's go out. We'll get you a girl,
833
00:38:56,917 --> 00:38:58,377
we'll get you nailed," all this.
834
00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,339
And I was kind of a bit
taken aback from it
835
00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:03,841
because I don't think I was--
I don't think I was quite ready.
836
00:39:03,924 --> 00:39:06,344
I don't think I was quite ready
to lose my virginity when I did.
837
00:39:06,969 --> 00:39:08,596
And I did, and it wasn't--
838
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:11,599
It wasn't magical,
it wasn't, like, special.
839
00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:14,185
It wasn't... and it was with someone
who wasn't a virgin as well.
840
00:39:14,268 --> 00:39:16,228
[Benny] But you felt a tremendous
amount of pressure?
841
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,397
No. [scoffs] Serious pressure.
842
00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:20,983
But then once it was done,
it was almost like a pressure was lifted,
843
00:39:21,067 --> 00:39:23,527
but I was like,
"Well, what was the--what was the point?
844
00:39:23,611 --> 00:39:25,196
-Like..."
-[Benny] Were you not together with her?
845
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:28,699
No, my first time, I had...
it was a one night stand, and it was...
846
00:39:29,325 --> 00:39:32,328
the whole night was peer pressured
into it happening.
847
00:39:32,453 --> 00:39:35,373
And I was just-- It happened through...
848
00:39:35,998 --> 00:39:38,334
like I said,
it was a mixture of, like, alcohol,
849
00:39:38,417 --> 00:39:41,796
it was a mixture of
like a forceful kind of attitude.
850
00:39:41,879 --> 00:39:42,838
It was all right.
851
00:39:42,922 --> 00:39:44,757
Looking back now and thinking
I'm 23-years-old now,
852
00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:45,883
and I was probably--
853
00:39:46,509 --> 00:39:48,469
I was turning 19 when I lost my virginity.
854
00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:50,179
-Shut up.
-Wow.
855
00:39:50,429 --> 00:39:51,472
-[Benny] Really?
-Yeah.
856
00:39:51,597 --> 00:39:52,598
[laughs]
857
00:39:53,307 --> 00:39:56,769
See, the thing is, though,
like how old were you?
858
00:39:56,894 --> 00:39:57,728
[Shep] What?
859
00:39:58,020 --> 00:39:59,271
Honestly, how old were you?
860
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,440
Not lying because I know
a lot of liars back home--
861
00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:02,483
Can we cut this bit?
862
00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:04,819
No? All right, sweet.
863
00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:06,487
-Honestly?
-[Adam] Yeah.
864
00:40:06,654 --> 00:40:07,488
Fifteen.
865
00:40:07,863 --> 00:40:09,740
But then you know what you
said about peer pressure?
866
00:40:09,949 --> 00:40:12,993
Like, my group of mates back home,
there was like seven of us.
867
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,247
We had a bet the last one to lose it
would have something ridiculous.
868
00:40:16,872 --> 00:40:19,875
And it was literally coming down to, like,
the last two of us.
869
00:40:20,543 --> 00:40:23,546
And it was like, "Fuck, I have to do it."
870
00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:26,132
-So, then you step up to the plate...
-[woman] Isn't that fun?
871
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:27,341
...and luckily I done it--
872
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:29,385
I done it with a girl that I had,
like, a lot of respect for.
873
00:40:29,468 --> 00:40:33,931
Like, been that close with her for,
like, so many years, like seven years.
874
00:40:34,014 --> 00:40:36,851
And it was like I'm glad
that I lost it to her
875
00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:37,935
rather than anyone else.
876
00:40:38,018 --> 00:40:39,186
If I lost it with someone else--
877
00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:41,021
[Benny] Did you--
Did you feel peer pressured into it?
878
00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:42,356
Yeah, of course you do.
879
00:40:42,606 --> 00:40:44,108
Especially if you got a bet
with all your mates,
880
00:40:44,233 --> 00:40:46,235
who's the last one to lose it,
you don't want to be the last one there.
881
00:40:47,361 --> 00:40:48,654
[Adam] But then do you--
882
00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:49,697
Do you think your virginity
should be a bet?
883
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:50,614
[Shep] No, but it's--
884
00:40:50,698 --> 00:40:52,074
[Adam] I don't think it
should be a bet, but it was.
885
00:40:52,199 --> 00:40:54,076
And you don't-- like, you don't want to be
the last one of your mates
886
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:55,536
to be the virgin, do you?
887
00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:58,247
I mean, is it a bigger
deal amongst guys though?
888
00:40:58,330 --> 00:41:01,834
Because I feel like with girls it's like,
"Oh, you've lost your virginity," like--
889
00:41:02,668 --> 00:41:05,171
If you were, like,
the last one to have sex
890
00:41:05,254 --> 00:41:07,214
out of your group of mates,
you're almost like bullied,
891
00:41:07,339 --> 00:41:09,300
you're laughed at. You're almost like,
"Ha ha! You're still a virgin."
892
00:41:09,675 --> 00:41:10,759
It is a bit harsh.
893
00:41:10,926 --> 00:41:12,511
[Shep] And like I said,
I don't know anyone
894
00:41:12,595 --> 00:41:14,263
back home that hasn't-- yeah.
895
00:41:14,346 --> 00:41:17,057
Even, like, your closest friends
will make fun of you for being a virgin?
896
00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:18,934
Yeah, yeah, without a doubt.
897
00:41:19,101 --> 00:41:20,311
They wouldn't even, like,
have respect for that?
898
00:41:20,394 --> 00:41:21,437
Nope.
899
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:28,319
[Donna] Often, you know,
men talk about how
900
00:41:28,402 --> 00:41:33,157
they have to have this careless attitude
about sex for other guys.
901
00:41:33,532 --> 00:41:36,577
And so, part of proving
what it means to be a man today,
902
00:41:36,827 --> 00:41:39,538
especially a young man at college,
is showing that you don't care
903
00:41:39,663 --> 00:41:42,416
and showing that you're invulnerable
904
00:41:42,708 --> 00:41:45,127
and that you don't feel things
for other people
905
00:41:45,252 --> 00:41:47,379
in the context of sexual intimacy.
906
00:41:49,465 --> 00:41:51,258
Whereas young women always get the message
907
00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:54,553
about the desirable young woman,
what she looks like,
908
00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:58,724
how she dresses, how she acts,
what she knows with regard to sex.
909
00:41:59,808 --> 00:42:04,104
So, both young men and young women
are sometimes literally acting out
910
00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:08,317
according to these stereotypes
or these expectations we have in culture.
911
00:42:29,296 --> 00:42:32,132
[Kimmy] I come from Orange County,
California, so Southern California.
912
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,426
[Farrah] I'm from Calabasas, California,
913
00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:36,929
which is also
Southern California, near LA.
914
00:42:37,763 --> 00:42:40,641
I've never been on spring break.
I've never been on spring break.
915
00:42:40,724 --> 00:42:41,559
Yeah, yeah.
916
00:42:41,642 --> 00:42:43,227
But I want to do,
like, the whole rave shit,
917
00:42:43,310 --> 00:42:45,354
table surfing shit, you know what I mean?
918
00:42:46,230 --> 00:42:49,358
[Kimmy] So, coming on spring break,
we have a fuck-it list,
919
00:42:49,692 --> 00:42:53,404
and it's all the things
that we plan on doing before we leave.
920
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:54,989
-And one of them--
-It's a very short list.
921
00:42:55,114 --> 00:42:57,324
-It's not like a...
-Very short. It's growing as we're here.
922
00:42:57,449 --> 00:42:59,076
Yeah, it's not like--
We didn't come here with it.
923
00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:01,662
-It's our first time on spring break.
-It's more of like, what's going on?
924
00:43:01,745 --> 00:43:04,790
It's experiences, culture--
OK, that sounds cool.
925
00:43:04,873 --> 00:43:07,585
Or like, "Oh, I bet this could happen.
Let's try and make it happen."
926
00:43:07,793 --> 00:43:09,253
It's like a bucket list type of thing.
927
00:43:09,378 --> 00:43:10,838
[Kimmy] But a fuck-it list.
928
00:43:10,963 --> 00:43:12,298
-[Farrah] Yeah, yeah.
-[Kimmy] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
929
00:43:12,506 --> 00:43:14,925
And you're more than welcome
to come with us tonight
930
00:43:15,134 --> 00:43:16,302
-and go party and find out...
-[Farrah laughs]
931
00:43:16,385 --> 00:43:18,554
how the city is versus how the resort is.
932
00:43:18,721 --> 00:43:20,931
Yeah, yeah.
You have to experience that one.
933
00:43:21,140 --> 00:43:22,266
Fuck, yeah!
934
00:43:23,767 --> 00:43:25,644
[upbeat music playing]
935
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:43,162
[knock on door]
936
00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:47,166
-[man] Hi.
-Hi.
937
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:51,629
Come in.
We're just finishing up getting ready.
938
00:43:52,087 --> 00:43:53,672
Excuse my voice. [chuckles]
939
00:43:53,839 --> 00:43:55,007
[Farrah] We're just going to start.
940
00:43:55,132 --> 00:43:57,009
[woman] So, can you ladies
kind of talk about
941
00:43:57,092 --> 00:43:59,845
what tonight is going to look like?
942
00:44:00,554 --> 00:44:01,555
That's a great question.
So I think we're--
943
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:03,015
A hot mess.
944
00:44:03,724 --> 00:44:04,558
Hopefully.
945
00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:06,935
[hesitates] I mean, she's hoping tonight's
going to be a hot mess.
946
00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:10,022
I'm hoping--I'm hoping
that we get back safely. [chuckles]
947
00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:13,901
When I say hot mess,
I mean, not per se, us,
948
00:44:14,026 --> 00:44:17,529
what we see, what we experience is.
I mean, so far it has been.
949
00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:21,575
We're not working
towards any particular goal,
950
00:44:21,784 --> 00:44:25,245
but if something... if anything
really fun or crazy arises,
951
00:44:25,371 --> 00:44:27,748
I'm not going to say no to it, so.
952
00:44:28,290 --> 00:44:29,792
[woman] So,
what is your definition of fun?
953
00:44:30,167 --> 00:44:31,210
Definition of fun?
954
00:44:31,543 --> 00:44:33,587
[Farrah] Letting loose,
but not, just not...
955
00:44:34,380 --> 00:44:37,508
[stammers] Being able to be carefree
956
00:44:37,591 --> 00:44:40,511
and not have to worry about
being taken advantage of.
957
00:44:41,011 --> 00:44:44,723
So, dancing on my own terms,
not someone trying to come up to me
958
00:44:44,848 --> 00:44:47,601
and dance and trying
to initiate something.
959
00:44:47,768 --> 00:44:48,852
Um...
960
00:44:49,478 --> 00:44:51,105
Yeah, drinking without--
961
00:44:51,647 --> 00:44:53,816
God, I've been so scared
of getting drugged.
962
00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:55,442
-[Farrah] Yeah.
-[Kimmy] Is that a legitimate fear?
963
00:44:55,567 --> 00:44:56,777
[Farrah] That's a fear for me too.
964
00:44:56,902 --> 00:44:58,987
That's a legitimate fear,
I feel, definitely.
965
00:44:59,196 --> 00:45:01,532
So, having fun is pretty much
not having to worry.
966
00:45:01,615 --> 00:45:03,951
-I'm like holding my glass like this.
-Yeah.
967
00:45:04,618 --> 00:45:07,579
I'm like dancing like, "Oh, yeah,
Try to get through my fingers, asshole."
968
00:45:10,290 --> 00:45:11,708
Yeah, I don't even know where we're going,
969
00:45:11,792 --> 00:45:15,254
so I think we're just going
to go and figure that out,
970
00:45:15,379 --> 00:45:16,588
and just kind of follow a crowd.
971
00:45:16,839 --> 00:45:18,549
[upbeat music playing]
972
00:45:22,469 --> 00:45:23,971
Keep moving. Hey.
973
00:45:24,096 --> 00:45:25,305
[Kimmy] OK, OK.
974
00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:27,516
[Farrah] All right.
975
00:45:27,599 --> 00:45:28,976
Whoo!
976
00:45:43,073 --> 00:45:44,867
[indistinct conversations]
977
00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:47,411
[man] More girls in bikinis. I love it.
978
00:45:48,162 --> 00:45:48,996
Hola.
979
00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:55,002
[Farah] So, we were involved
in a bikini dancing contest.
980
00:45:55,961 --> 00:45:59,298
And he started, like,
spraying us with, like--like oil.
981
00:45:59,381 --> 00:46:00,215
[Kimmy] I was like...
982
00:46:00,299 --> 00:46:03,135
I just walked out of the bathroom,
I mean, he's like spraying me.
983
00:46:03,218 --> 00:46:04,261
[Farrah] No warning, no warning.
984
00:46:04,636 --> 00:46:07,222
She's talking and he just, like,
starts spraying her without--
985
00:46:07,347 --> 00:46:09,224
And like... and I was like, "Oh."
986
00:46:09,349 --> 00:46:11,477
Yeah, and all of us were just like,
"What's happening?"
987
00:46:11,852 --> 00:46:13,979
And he's just like,
"Rub it in, rub it in."
988
00:46:15,105 --> 00:46:17,566
Is that funny?
I'm gonna do it back to you later.
989
00:46:17,649 --> 00:46:18,609
[Kimmy] Yeah, let's do it to you.
990
00:46:18,692 --> 00:46:20,444
Watch your back. I'll see you later.
991
00:46:20,652 --> 00:46:21,612
[Kimmy laughs]
992
00:46:22,488 --> 00:46:26,074
[Kimmy] It seemed way more staged now.
At that point, it was more effort,
993
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:27,826
it wasn't just like,
"Here's some spring break girls
994
00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:29,036
doing a dance."
995
00:46:29,119 --> 00:46:32,789
Like, we're putting effort into
making you look a certain way.
996
00:46:32,915 --> 00:46:33,957
OK.
997
00:46:34,249 --> 00:46:37,503
So basically you're going
to dance for 10 seconds. [chuckles]
998
00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:40,047
After those 10 seconds,
the people are going to decide
999
00:46:40,214 --> 00:46:42,883
who the winner is. All right. So, dance.
1000
00:46:43,008 --> 00:46:45,135
Of course you can show
a little bit more if you want.
1001
00:46:45,219 --> 00:46:46,553
Please don't take your bottoms off.
1002
00:46:46,637 --> 00:46:48,138
-If you want, you can take your top off.
-[woman] Oh!
1003
00:46:48,555 --> 00:46:50,933
[man] You don't have to if you don't want,
but if you do,
1004
00:46:51,016 --> 00:46:53,185
of course then people are going to make
way more noise for you.
1005
00:46:53,268 --> 00:46:55,896
-[woman] The boys?
-[man] The boys. All right, let's go.
1006
00:47:00,651 --> 00:47:02,653
[Kimmy] In the beginning,
it was kind of excitement,
1007
00:47:02,778 --> 00:47:06,281
then it turned to anxious, uh,
kind of stressed.
1008
00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:10,327
Didn't know what was going to happen.
It was just so many people,
1009
00:47:10,452 --> 00:47:12,079
-it was very intimidating at that point.
-[crowd cheers]
1010
00:47:14,122 --> 00:47:16,583
[man] So, we're going to start things out
with a bikini contest.
1011
00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:19,878
We got one, two, three, four,
five, seven, eight girls
1012
00:47:19,962 --> 00:47:21,338
that are going to dance for all of you.
1013
00:47:21,463 --> 00:47:22,297
[crowd cheers]
1014
00:47:22,422 --> 00:47:24,758
All right, so we're going to go
with the first girl.
1015
00:47:24,841 --> 00:47:26,343
Where's contestant number one?
1016
00:47:27,469 --> 00:47:31,765
All right, so, senorita,
your name and where you're from?
1017
00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:34,518
My name is Kimmy and I'm from California.
1018
00:47:34,601 --> 00:47:35,936
[crowd cheering]
1019
00:47:37,104 --> 00:47:38,397
[upbeat music plays]
1020
00:47:38,772 --> 00:47:40,816
[man] Girl, come on. Come on.
1021
00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:44,486
Shake that ass. Shake that ass.
And shake it, shake it, shake it, girl.
1022
00:47:47,823 --> 00:47:53,036
Three, two, one.
1023
00:47:53,161 --> 00:47:54,079
Thank you.
1024
00:47:55,455 --> 00:48:00,002
OK, all right, I just need them to see
exactly what I saw.
1025
00:48:00,168 --> 00:48:02,838
So, turn around and do like this.
1026
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:05,257
[crowd cheers]
1027
00:48:05,340 --> 00:48:06,800
All right, that's good. [chuckles]
1028
00:48:06,883 --> 00:48:08,552
Everybody give it up
for contestant number one.
1029
00:48:08,677 --> 00:48:09,511
Come on!
1030
00:48:09,636 --> 00:48:12,139
[cheering]
1031
00:48:13,974 --> 00:48:19,104
[Kimmy] I felt pretty nervous at first.
But once the music started going on,
1032
00:48:19,354 --> 00:48:22,608
I mean, if I hear a good beat,
I can dance to it.
1033
00:48:22,774 --> 00:48:28,155
Uh. I-- On one hand, I felt empowered,
but then once it was over,
1034
00:48:28,322 --> 00:48:29,740
he was like, "OK, wait, wait.
No, come back.
1035
00:48:29,823 --> 00:48:33,869
Like, turn around and, like, squat down
and so they can see what I see."
1036
00:48:34,119 --> 00:48:37,331
And I was like, "OK," so I did it.
But at that time, it was...
1037
00:48:37,456 --> 00:48:38,999
it wasn't my choice to do that,
1038
00:48:39,124 --> 00:48:40,876
he was suggesting that
and putting that on me,
1039
00:48:40,959 --> 00:48:44,671
and that didn't feel natural at all
and that didn't feel empowering to me.
1040
00:48:44,838 --> 00:48:45,797
[indistinct chatter]
1041
00:48:45,881 --> 00:48:49,426
[man] Who thinks contestant number one
should be in the final?
1042
00:48:49,509 --> 00:48:51,094
[cheering]
1043
00:48:54,681 --> 00:48:55,932
Contestant number six?
1044
00:48:56,016 --> 00:48:57,601
[cheering]
1045
00:49:00,937 --> 00:49:03,357
Senoritas, thank you so much.
You can come back here.
1046
00:49:03,815 --> 00:49:04,858
[man] Number six!
1047
00:49:05,192 --> 00:49:06,610
Lights off!
1048
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:13,200
[Kimmy] The bikini contest was
such a testament to our lives.
1049
00:49:14,034 --> 00:49:16,286
We're standing and being
compared all the time,
1050
00:49:16,411 --> 00:49:19,289
and being shamed because
our comparison is not--
1051
00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:20,707
we're not the same.
1052
00:49:21,416 --> 00:49:25,545
And it starts even when we're young,
when these guys are... you know,
1053
00:49:25,629 --> 00:49:27,881
they're going through puberty
and they have their hormones,
1054
00:49:28,006 --> 00:49:29,675
and they see these girls
on magazine covers
1055
00:49:29,758 --> 00:49:31,259
who I hadn't even noticed.
1056
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:33,512
And then I'm like,
"Oh, my God, she's so hot."
1057
00:49:33,637 --> 00:49:36,181
I'm like, "Why is she hot?"
Like, "I think she's pretty."
1058
00:49:36,264 --> 00:49:37,516
Like what is-- Like why?
1059
00:49:37,683 --> 00:49:39,434
"Like, look at her tits
and look at her abs,
1060
00:49:39,518 --> 00:49:42,646
like oh my, God, she's perfect.
I want a girl like that."
1061
00:49:43,397 --> 00:49:48,235
And then you're like, "Well, OK."
[chuckles] I'm like, "All right."
1062
00:49:48,318 --> 00:49:50,445
And then it just gets worse
as you get older,
1063
00:49:50,529 --> 00:49:53,281
and it's constantly a comparison.
1064
00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:57,703
And the comparison
that we're always getting is one look.
1065
00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:00,497
And I think that's why
we're so susceptible to it.
1066
00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:06,336
That one thing influenced me even now,
because I'm constantly thinking back
1067
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:09,172
to that one time where I'm like,
"Oh my God, she's sexy.
1068
00:50:09,965 --> 00:50:10,882
How do I get that?"
1069
00:50:19,349 --> 00:50:20,475
[Gail Dines] Let's take a young girl
1070
00:50:20,559 --> 00:50:22,602
and think about what does it
mean that, you know,
1071
00:50:22,728 --> 00:50:24,730
you're on the cusp of puberty,
1072
00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:27,607
you're trying to figure out
what it means to be female.
1073
00:50:27,733 --> 00:50:32,529
And you're looking around the culture
and what's coming at you is Beyonce,
1074
00:50:32,738 --> 00:50:35,449
Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus.
1075
00:50:36,867 --> 00:50:40,579
And in comes Cosmopolitan with its help
1076
00:50:40,704 --> 00:50:43,749
of "Ten Easy Ways
to Make Him Remember You."
1077
00:50:44,541 --> 00:50:48,837
Today, the culture is saying
if you behave a certain way,
1078
00:50:48,962 --> 00:50:52,716
act a certain way, dress a certain way,
then you are an empowered young woman.
1079
00:50:53,675 --> 00:50:56,094
This, my love,
has been the year of the booty,
1080
00:50:56,178 --> 00:50:57,137
and you are miss booty.
1081
00:50:57,220 --> 00:50:58,054
Oh, thank you.
1082
00:50:58,346 --> 00:51:00,474
[Jennifer Lopez] You know,
you can be sexy, and beautiful,
1083
00:51:00,557 --> 00:51:03,435
and it is very empowering,
I feel like, for women.
1084
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:06,980
♪ Oh my gosh, look at her butt ♪
1085
00:51:07,397 --> 00:51:10,525
♪ Oh my gosh, look at her butt ♪
1086
00:51:10,692 --> 00:51:12,319
[woman] I personally, it doesn't bother me
1087
00:51:12,402 --> 00:51:13,653
that she gets up there
and twerks in a thong.
1088
00:51:13,737 --> 00:51:15,739
You know, if you can do, hey.
1089
00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:20,452
[Sut] Any part of popular
culture in one sense
1090
00:51:20,869 --> 00:51:23,872
tells the same story
around female sexuality,
1091
00:51:24,039 --> 00:51:26,917
which is female sexuality
is the key component
1092
00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:28,877
of what it means to be a female.
1093
00:51:29,377 --> 00:51:31,880
You know, an individual image
only makes sense
1094
00:51:32,380 --> 00:51:37,052
in terms of what else surrounds it.
If one image by itself, you know,
1095
00:51:37,135 --> 00:51:39,721
was surrounded, then,
by other images that showed women
1096
00:51:39,805 --> 00:51:41,264
in a wider variety of roles,
1097
00:51:41,848 --> 00:51:43,725
there would be nothing wrong
with that one image.
1098
00:51:44,226 --> 00:51:46,728
But when that one image is surrounded
by another image
1099
00:51:46,853 --> 00:51:48,814
that looks exactly the same,
looks exactly the same,
1100
00:51:48,897 --> 00:51:53,443
looks exactly the same,
and that is only about one aspect of what
1101
00:51:53,568 --> 00:51:56,488
women's identities could be,
that's when I think these images
1102
00:51:56,571 --> 00:51:58,532
will then start to take a real hold,
1103
00:51:58,907 --> 00:52:03,787
because it normalizes the idea
that to be a regular girl
1104
00:52:03,912 --> 00:52:05,831
means to act in this way.
1105
00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:09,960
♪ 'Cause I just
Want to look good for you ♪
1106
00:52:10,126 --> 00:52:12,462
♪ Good for you, oh, oh ♪
1107
00:52:12,671 --> 00:52:15,382
♪ I just want to look good for you ♪
1108
00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:17,801
♪ Good for you, oh, oh ♪
1109
00:52:18,176 --> 00:52:19,219
♪ Let me show you ♪
1110
00:52:19,302 --> 00:52:21,304
♪ How proud I am to be yours ♪
1111
00:52:21,429 --> 00:52:24,224
♪ Leave this dress a mess on the floor ♪
1112
00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:28,478
♪ And still look good for you
Good for you, oh, oh ♪
1113
00:52:28,603 --> 00:52:29,688
[Kim Biddle] When you've accepted
the belief
1114
00:52:29,771 --> 00:52:34,776
for yourself as a--as a young girl
that my value equates my sex appeal,
1115
00:52:35,277 --> 00:52:38,905
then you begin to act on that belief,
1116
00:52:39,030 --> 00:52:42,868
and you begin to then
need to compete and vie
1117
00:52:42,993 --> 00:52:47,664
for attention from guys
and be more noticed
1118
00:52:47,789 --> 00:52:50,625
and more valued
than your other girlfriends
1119
00:52:50,750 --> 00:52:53,420
that are also beautiful
and have sex appeal.
1120
00:52:53,795 --> 00:52:59,092
So, you will do crazy things
to gain that attention,
1121
00:52:59,217 --> 00:53:05,181
to gain that favor, to be sexy enough
because you've equated your value
1122
00:53:05,557 --> 00:53:07,392
and your self-identity with that.
1123
00:53:07,684 --> 00:53:10,145
[MC] We're throwing
a party today like no other.
1124
00:53:10,270 --> 00:53:12,105
We got a bikini contest going up.
1125
00:53:12,355 --> 00:53:15,567
All these hot ladies are going
to be shaking it for you guys.
1126
00:53:17,152 --> 00:53:19,613
The other day, I went on there,
like I danced on stage and stuff.
1127
00:53:19,696 --> 00:53:23,909
And like, it was just really fun.
It just... it makes you feel, like, free.
1128
00:53:24,159 --> 00:53:25,869
It's like an attention experience.
1129
00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,288
It's like for a moment you're,
like, on the spotlight.
1130
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:32,292
[woman] I'm up here.
Everyone's looking at me right now.
1131
00:53:32,417 --> 00:53:35,086
Like, I feel good. They're happy.
1132
00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:38,465
Like, it's just a good feeling
of empowerment.
1133
00:53:39,382 --> 00:53:41,635
[MC] All right, twerk it for the crowd.
Guys, I want to hear you out there.
1134
00:53:41,718 --> 00:53:43,303
Let's keep this energy going, come on.
1135
00:53:45,513 --> 00:53:49,476
I saw all these girls dancing up there.
I was like, "I need to get up there."
1136
00:53:50,143 --> 00:53:55,148
[woman] When I got on stage,
alls I heard was cheers from 500 students.
1137
00:53:55,523 --> 00:53:58,485
I felt like I was famous,
I'm not going to lie.
1138
00:53:58,610 --> 00:54:01,821
By the time I was dancing in there,
so many boys,
1139
00:54:01,947 --> 00:54:03,406
so many boys are out for me.
1140
00:54:03,490 --> 00:54:06,493
And I felt like I'm the life
of the party right now.
1141
00:54:06,618 --> 00:54:07,535
[women chuckle]
1142
00:54:07,702 --> 00:54:09,454
Your confidence went down from here,
1143
00:54:09,704 --> 00:54:12,082
which in proportion
was already high enough,
1144
00:54:12,290 --> 00:54:14,084
where it went to up here.
1145
00:54:14,751 --> 00:54:16,086
[man] Ladies and gentlemen,
1146
00:54:16,169 --> 00:54:19,798
the winner of the Club La Vela
day stage twerking contest,
1147
00:54:20,006 --> 00:54:24,302
make some noise for Crystal from SIU.
1148
00:54:24,386 --> 00:54:26,012
[cheering]
1149
00:54:28,264 --> 00:54:30,600
[Caroline] I think that women
believe that being a sex object
1150
00:54:30,767 --> 00:54:35,730
is empowering because it makes them feel
as though they are wanted and desired.
1151
00:54:36,898 --> 00:54:40,568
But the idea that our bodies
are our value means
1152
00:54:40,652 --> 00:54:44,072
that we are forever dependent
upon men to validate us,
1153
00:54:44,197 --> 00:54:46,366
we're dependent upon an outside source
1154
00:54:46,741 --> 00:54:49,619
to say that we are important,
to say that we are valuable.
1155
00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:55,208
So, I think women engage in hookup culture
because it fits right into this.
1156
00:54:55,709 --> 00:54:59,879
What's the ultimate way to get validation?
It's to be wanted sexually.
1157
00:55:01,506 --> 00:55:04,467
If someone values you
and wants to have sex with you,
1158
00:55:04,592 --> 00:55:07,345
then for that brief moment in time,
we feel validated,
1159
00:55:07,554 --> 00:55:11,808
uh, we feel like we matter,
we feel like we have worth.
1160
00:55:14,561 --> 00:55:19,774
[Gail] We all hunger for visibility.
This is the human condition.
1161
00:55:19,899 --> 00:55:22,944
We want to be valued,
we want to be visible.
1162
00:55:24,279 --> 00:55:26,698
Yet, in this culture,
we say to young women,
1163
00:55:26,865 --> 00:55:29,492
in order to be visible,
in order to be noticed,
1164
00:55:29,617 --> 00:55:30,910
in order to be desired,
1165
00:55:31,036 --> 00:55:35,248
you have to A, look a certain way,
and B, behave a certain way.
1166
00:55:35,457 --> 00:55:39,419
And if you don't,
then you are basically rendered invisible.
1167
00:55:42,422 --> 00:55:43,798
[Sut] Everyone wants to matter.
1168
00:55:44,382 --> 00:55:47,177
The will to matter is a kind of,
you know, primal urge,
1169
00:55:47,302 --> 00:55:50,555
that we need to matter to other people,
we need--we need to be in society.
1170
00:55:50,847 --> 00:55:52,849
And if the culture says to girls
1171
00:55:52,974 --> 00:55:55,393
this is the only way
in which you can matter,
1172
00:55:55,643 --> 00:55:57,562
it's not surprising, then,
they take on those roles,
1173
00:55:57,687 --> 00:56:00,690
because if they don't,
then actually you don't matter.
1174
00:56:00,982 --> 00:56:03,151
If you don't, you become invisible.
1175
00:56:03,276 --> 00:56:06,196
If you don't, you actually
can't have that human connection
1176
00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:07,572
that everyone needs.
1177
00:56:07,989 --> 00:56:11,868
And so, you know, that pressure
just drives women to take on these roles,
1178
00:56:11,993 --> 00:56:15,038
even though that may not be
what they really want to do.
1179
00:56:15,413 --> 00:56:17,332
[EDM music playing]
1180
00:56:19,626 --> 00:56:22,295
[singing indistinctly]
1181
00:56:32,764 --> 00:56:35,016
[Kimmy] It all started, I think,
the whole sexualization
1182
00:56:35,141 --> 00:56:40,271
thing started when I was in, like,
eighth grade I believe?
1183
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:44,442
And that's when guys started asking me
for nude pictures like from school.
1184
00:56:44,734 --> 00:56:49,405
And I was--I was so confused as to why
they would ask me for that.
1185
00:56:49,614 --> 00:56:52,617
And a lot of the time when I wouldn't,
they would just lose interest.
1186
00:56:52,742 --> 00:56:55,829
And, you know,
when you're at such a vulnerable age,
1187
00:56:56,204 --> 00:56:59,207
you're like, "Oh, my goodness,
like, no one's going to like me,
1188
00:56:59,374 --> 00:57:00,333
and it's just going to be awkward,
1189
00:57:00,416 --> 00:57:02,085
and I'm going to be known as
that girl who didn't do it."
1190
00:57:02,544 --> 00:57:04,462
So, there were definitely
a couple instances
1191
00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:05,713
in which I did send them.
1192
00:57:05,964 --> 00:57:09,175
And like, I did get
the attention that I wanted
1193
00:57:09,425 --> 00:57:13,096
until it came to the point
where it wasn't just pictures anymore.
1194
00:57:13,221 --> 00:57:15,056
It was like, "OK, well,
you're sending me pictures.
1195
00:57:15,181 --> 00:57:16,307
Don't be a tease."
1196
00:57:16,724 --> 00:57:17,892
And I'm just like, "OK?"
1197
00:57:18,101 --> 00:57:23,481
Um, so, I mean, I had sex on my own terms
and I did all the things on my own terms,
1198
00:57:23,565 --> 00:57:25,733
but at the same time,
it was so uncomfortable for me
1199
00:57:26,067 --> 00:57:28,820
because it's just
all these added pressures.
1200
00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:33,825
[Farrah] Yeah, that's so true
and real in my life as well.
1201
00:57:33,950 --> 00:57:38,037
And I think growing up,
on top of being pressured to do things,
1202
00:57:38,746 --> 00:57:42,625
it's so about pleasing others.
And it's what--what they think about me,
1203
00:57:43,042 --> 00:57:46,045
especially when you're that young
and you're being told what's normal.
1204
00:57:46,171 --> 00:57:48,756
And like I said, I was a little girl
looking at magazines and some movies,
1205
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:51,551
and you look at women,
and that's what you start to be,
1206
00:57:51,634 --> 00:57:52,886
you start to look like that.
1207
00:57:52,969 --> 00:57:55,013
And I feel like every girl
just has insecurities
1208
00:57:55,096 --> 00:57:56,723
because none of us look like that.
1209
00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:59,309
So, either way, you're going
to find something wrong with you,
1210
00:57:59,392 --> 00:58:02,228
and it sucks that we have
to deal with that day to day.
1211
00:58:03,855 --> 00:58:05,648
[indistinct conversations]
1212
00:58:09,527 --> 00:58:14,199
[man] All right, so, senorita,
your name and where you're from.
1213
00:58:14,365 --> 00:58:16,534
My name is Farrah,
and I'm from California.
1214
00:58:16,659 --> 00:58:20,788
[man] She's Farrah, also from California.
And here we go, come on.
1215
00:58:22,665 --> 00:58:23,750
[music plays]
1216
00:58:24,042 --> 00:58:25,376
Oh yeah.
1217
00:58:29,130 --> 00:58:29,964
Oh.
1218
00:58:30,924 --> 00:58:34,093
Come on, girl, shake that ass.
Let's go.
1219
00:58:36,846 --> 00:58:38,181
Bring it, twerk it, come on!
1220
00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:46,898
Now, I have a question.
Do you want to see her take her top off?
1221
00:58:46,981 --> 00:58:49,526
[Farrah] No, no, no.
1222
00:58:49,651 --> 00:58:53,905
[man] So, everybody say, "Show your tits."
1223
00:58:54,030 --> 00:58:54,864
Come on, say it.
1224
00:58:54,989 --> 00:58:56,282
[all] Show your tits.
1225
00:58:56,407 --> 00:58:57,325
[man] Everybody say it.
1226
00:58:57,408 --> 00:58:58,910
[all] Show your tits.
1227
00:58:59,661 --> 00:59:01,955
[man] All right, that's it.
Here we go. Come on.
1228
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:04,123
One, two, three.
1229
00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:07,835
OK, we'll do it at the same time, come on.
1230
00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:09,462
All right, DJ.
1231
00:59:12,715 --> 00:59:14,968
[crowd] Boo!
1232
00:59:15,385 --> 00:59:17,554
[man] Hey, guys, come on,
come on, be nice.
1233
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,515
All right, so let's go on
with contestant number four.
1234
00:59:20,848 --> 00:59:24,060
[Farrah] For me, they were cheering
to take off my top.
1235
00:59:24,561 --> 00:59:27,897
And in no shape or form
would I ever think to do that.
1236
00:59:28,022 --> 00:59:32,193
But in that situation, it was--
It was very tempting.
1237
00:59:32,277 --> 00:59:35,363
Or I don't know how to explain it,
you know?
1238
00:59:35,488 --> 00:59:37,615
Everyone's all-- The whole...
The whole crowd is screaming for it,
1239
00:59:37,740 --> 00:59:40,451
and if--if you're on the border of it,
you're for sure going to do it.
1240
00:59:40,535 --> 00:59:42,912
Like, I just knew I wasn't going to,
and I was even tempted to.
1241
00:59:43,371 --> 00:59:45,456
So, I think when they have an entire...
1242
00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:47,875
an entire arena basically
screaming for you
1243
00:59:48,001 --> 00:59:51,045
to do one thing,
it is very hard to say no.
1244
00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:55,133
And I did, and I got booed for it,
but whatever.
1245
00:59:55,341 --> 00:59:56,801
I mean, I'm sure if they
went on for five minutes,
1246
00:59:56,926 --> 00:59:59,971
I'd probably end up doing it,
because you just want to satisfy them
1247
01:00:00,054 --> 01:00:01,222
and just get them to shut up.
1248
01:00:01,347 --> 01:00:02,974
[all] Take it off! Take it off!
1249
01:00:03,141 --> 01:00:05,268
Take it off! Take it off!
1250
01:00:05,393 --> 01:00:06,227
Take it off!
1251
01:00:06,352 --> 01:00:09,188
[man] Come on, they're asking for it.
1252
01:00:09,314 --> 01:00:12,483
You wanted to win, right?
They already made a lot of noise for you,
1253
01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:15,403
so let's do it one more time, come on.
One, two, three, go.
1254
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:20,992
Come on, go, go, go, go.
1255
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:23,786
[cheering]
1256
01:00:24,329 --> 01:00:27,749
All right, everybody give it up
for contestant number five.
1257
01:00:35,214 --> 01:00:38,885
[Sut] On the one hand, you know,
you have women who are being told
1258
01:00:39,010 --> 01:00:41,095
that sexuality is everything,
1259
01:00:41,804 --> 01:00:45,099
and it's about female bodies
satisfying male bodies.
1260
01:00:46,934 --> 01:00:49,270
And on the other hand,
you have boys being told
1261
01:00:49,395 --> 01:00:53,858
that masculinity is about being tough,
it's about being in control,
1262
01:00:54,067 --> 01:00:56,235
it's about sleeping with lots of girls.
1263
01:00:57,945 --> 01:01:01,282
When that is all within the context
of hookup culture,
1264
01:01:01,741 --> 01:01:06,204
where sex is separated
from relationships and feelings,
1265
01:01:07,538 --> 01:01:12,794
then with alcohol thrown in, you know,
the results are going to be disastrous.
1266
01:01:20,927 --> 01:01:22,929
[crowd cheering]
1267
01:01:23,721 --> 01:01:25,765
[man] Hey, girl. Come here.
1268
01:01:26,057 --> 01:01:27,225
[girl screaming indistinctly]
1269
01:01:27,308 --> 01:01:30,228
Here's what's going to happen.
I'm going to give you two beads.
1270
01:01:30,395 --> 01:01:33,940
To motorboat your titties. Two beads, OK?
1271
01:01:34,107 --> 01:01:36,150
You ready? You ready?
1272
01:01:36,234 --> 01:01:37,902
[woman] I don't want to do it.
I'm not gonna do it.
1273
01:01:37,985 --> 01:01:38,820
Why not?
1274
01:01:38,903 --> 01:01:40,613
-Listen...
-I'll be gentle.
1275
01:01:40,738 --> 01:01:42,615
[man] Lift those tits
and let him motorboat you.
1276
01:01:42,699 --> 01:01:45,993
I'll be gentle. I'll be gentle.
1277
01:01:46,077 --> 01:01:47,412
-[man groaning]
-Where's she going?
1278
01:01:47,537 --> 01:01:48,996
-Listen...
-[woman] I'm sorry.
1279
01:01:49,163 --> 01:01:50,206
Come on, guys.
1280
01:01:51,666 --> 01:01:54,377
[Caroline] Inherent
in hookup culture is the idea
1281
01:01:54,502 --> 01:01:58,631
that men are supposed to be the drivers,
in the driver's seat,
1282
01:01:58,715 --> 01:01:59,966
and they are entitled to women's bodies
1283
01:02:00,341 --> 01:02:02,844
and women don't have as much say
as men in determining
1284
01:02:02,927 --> 01:02:04,095
whether or not sex happens.
1285
01:02:04,887 --> 01:02:06,848
And for a lot of men, you know,
they get the idea
1286
01:02:06,973 --> 01:02:09,100
that all they have to do
is push, push, push.
1287
01:02:09,225 --> 01:02:11,811
And some of them, you know,
are very planful about it.
1288
01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:15,273
[indistinct chatter]
1289
01:02:15,815 --> 01:02:17,984
[Robert] If you think about
the real messages
1290
01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:20,778
we send to boys about
what it means to be a man,
1291
01:02:21,404 --> 01:02:26,075
often they're bound up in that sense
of power and aggression.
1292
01:02:26,743 --> 01:02:30,204
And given the centrality
of sexuality to our lives,
1293
01:02:30,580 --> 01:02:33,583
not surprisingly those messages
play out in sex.
1294
01:02:34,125 --> 01:02:35,168
[laughs]
1295
01:02:35,418 --> 01:02:37,712
You got to show your fucking tits!
1296
01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:39,714
-I want the fucking--
-[cheering]
1297
01:02:39,922 --> 01:02:41,758
[Robert] So, if men are socialized
1298
01:02:41,883 --> 01:02:47,513
to be sexually aggressive,
then it's not a very big leap
1299
01:02:47,597 --> 01:02:53,770
from a consensual sexual activity
to sexual coercion of varying degrees,
1300
01:02:54,353 --> 01:02:57,440
where men are often encouraged
to pressure women
1301
01:02:57,565 --> 01:03:01,819
into being sexually available,
even when that girl might not want to.
1302
01:03:02,028 --> 01:03:03,613
They have a look to their face.
1303
01:03:03,738 --> 01:03:05,072
They have that look,
a certain look to them
1304
01:03:05,198 --> 01:03:06,532
that you just know they want
to be motorboated.
1305
01:03:06,616 --> 01:03:09,702
Some of them...
some of them don't look like they want to,
1306
01:03:09,827 --> 01:03:11,788
but usually the more intoxicated they are,
1307
01:03:11,913 --> 01:03:13,790
the more likely they are to
let you motorboat them.
1308
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:16,167
It's an art.
You have to look and you scope them out.
1309
01:03:16,250 --> 01:03:18,085
It's almost like motherfucking fishing.
1310
01:03:19,378 --> 01:03:21,589
[all] Chug, chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug, chug, chug, chug,
1311
01:03:21,714 --> 01:03:23,633
chug, chug, chug.
1312
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,259
[cheering]
1313
01:03:25,802 --> 01:03:29,388
Tits out for the boys!
Tits out for the boys!
1314
01:03:29,514 --> 01:03:32,934
Tits out for the boys!
Tits out for the boys!
1315
01:03:33,017 --> 01:03:36,020
Tits out for the boys!
Tits out for the boys!
1316
01:03:36,103 --> 01:03:38,189
[cheering]
1317
01:03:38,397 --> 01:03:40,274
[speaking indistinctly]
1318
01:03:40,691 --> 01:03:42,568
Show your tits! Show your tits!
1319
01:03:42,693 --> 01:03:44,487
[woman] No! No!
1320
01:03:44,737 --> 01:03:46,489
[crowd] Show your tits! Show your tits!
1321
01:03:46,739 --> 01:03:47,657
Hell no.
1322
01:03:47,740 --> 01:03:49,826
Show your tits! Show your tits!
1323
01:03:49,909 --> 01:03:51,619
[woman] There was guys
walking past me like,
1324
01:03:51,744 --> 01:03:53,830
"Show your tits, show your tits."
1325
01:03:53,955 --> 01:03:55,832
And like girls are,
like, pressured into it.
1326
01:03:55,957 --> 01:03:58,751
Like, girls that wouldn't
usually do it are over there,
1327
01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:00,878
like, showing their boobs and stuff.
1328
01:04:01,462 --> 01:04:04,423
[all] One more time! One more time!
1329
01:04:04,799 --> 01:04:07,343
One more time! One more time!
1330
01:04:07,552 --> 01:04:10,179
Girls like to show it off.
Like, they act innocent inside,
1331
01:04:10,304 --> 01:04:12,014
but they really do like to show it off.
1332
01:04:12,139 --> 01:04:13,850
All girls are freaks,
I think, to be honest.
1333
01:04:13,975 --> 01:04:15,351
They just-- It just takes--
1334
01:04:15,476 --> 01:04:17,061
You have to get it out of them,
you know what I mean?
1335
01:04:17,436 --> 01:04:22,316
Oh, lots-- All girls are sluts.
Girls are nothing but panty droppers.
1336
01:04:22,441 --> 01:04:25,319
You give them a couple percosets,
a Vicodin,
1337
01:04:25,444 --> 01:04:28,656
and a beer, and the panties drop.
It's nice.
1338
01:04:28,823 --> 01:04:30,032
[man] He's got it down to a science.
1339
01:04:30,157 --> 01:04:32,618
[all] Tits out for the boys!
Tits out for the boys!
1340
01:04:32,702 --> 01:04:35,246
[woman] No. [screams]
1341
01:04:39,876 --> 01:04:42,628
You're a slut. That's what you are.
You're a slut.
1342
01:04:44,171 --> 01:04:46,048
I said she's a slut. She is.
1343
01:04:46,132 --> 01:04:47,174
They're all sluts.
1344
01:04:51,137 --> 01:04:53,723
You know, some men
pushing through a woman's no,
1345
01:04:53,848 --> 01:04:56,350
right, like she says no
and he keeps going,
1346
01:04:56,434 --> 01:04:58,436
and she says, "No, I don't
really want to," he keeps going.
1347
01:04:58,519 --> 01:05:01,856
And you know, that man,
he just sees himself as a player.
1348
01:05:01,981 --> 01:05:04,275
That's how it works.
You know, that's what the scripts show me.
1349
01:05:04,358 --> 01:05:06,027
That's what you're supposed
to do with women.
1350
01:05:06,944 --> 01:05:08,946
And then women who, again,
who have been socialized
1351
01:05:09,030 --> 01:05:11,449
into performing for men,
who now have had a couple drinks,
1352
01:05:11,574 --> 01:05:13,951
guys are pressuring them, "Come on, do it.
Let's do it."
1353
01:05:14,118 --> 01:05:16,954
And then guys, when they do that,
then the men immediately think
1354
01:05:17,038 --> 01:05:22,376
that these women are now, uh, fair game.
And some men feel license to touch women
1355
01:05:22,543 --> 01:05:24,670
and grab women
and act on these women sexually.
1356
01:05:25,212 --> 01:05:26,172
Yeah!
1357
01:05:26,255 --> 01:05:27,840
You got beads. You got beads.
You gotta show it. You gotta show it.
1358
01:05:27,924 --> 01:05:28,925
No.
1359
01:05:29,258 --> 01:05:31,385
-No?
-No, no!
1360
01:05:31,469 --> 01:05:32,887
That's so inappropriate. No.
1361
01:05:33,012 --> 01:05:34,597
Inappropriate? Can I get a high five?
1362
01:05:37,266 --> 01:05:40,019
[Robert] We're talking about
a sexually coercive landscape
1363
01:05:40,144 --> 01:05:44,523
in which men are socialized
into taking sex from women.
1364
01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:47,693
Women are socialized
into capitulating to that
1365
01:05:47,818 --> 01:05:51,072
as a part of a normal "social scene."
1366
01:05:51,447 --> 01:05:54,408
And the terrain on which
sex then goes forward
1367
01:05:54,575 --> 01:05:57,662
is extremely difficult
and extremely dangerous,
1368
01:05:57,787 --> 01:05:59,622
especially for young women.
1369
01:06:01,540 --> 01:06:05,795
This is a culture in which sexual
intrusion has become normalized.
1370
01:06:09,548 --> 01:06:10,967
[woman] This guy just
came up to me and like,
1371
01:06:11,050 --> 01:06:12,593
"Hey, what's your name?"
and started touching my butt.
1372
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:17,181
And I grabbed him, and I was like,
"You know, like, no, that's not OK."
1373
01:06:17,932 --> 01:06:20,393
[woman] Out here,
there's a lot of grabbing, whistling,
1374
01:06:20,476 --> 01:06:22,436
just grabbing your face,
trying to make out with you.
1375
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:26,023
Yeah, guys out here,
they think they can do anything.
1376
01:06:28,567 --> 01:06:30,945
[cheering]
1377
01:06:31,737 --> 01:06:34,782
I honestly walked by a guy
and he ripped my top down.
1378
01:06:34,907 --> 01:06:36,033
-I was like, "No."
-No way.
1379
01:06:36,117 --> 01:06:37,868
This one guy, I don't know who he was,
1380
01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:40,204
came up to me and starts, like,
trying to, like, touch me.
1381
01:06:40,287 --> 01:06:42,248
I'm like, "Eww! Like get off me."
And then he walks away and he's like,
1382
01:06:42,373 --> 01:06:43,624
"Yeah, fine, fuck you, you bitch."
1383
01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:45,543
I'm like, "You're the one
that came up to me
1384
01:06:45,668 --> 01:06:47,503
and were, like, sexually harassing me."
1385
01:06:48,754 --> 01:06:50,631
[man] Do guys ask permission
when they grope you
1386
01:06:50,756 --> 01:06:53,175
-and stuff like that?
-No, they don't. They're disgusting.
1387
01:06:53,259 --> 01:06:54,427
She punched someone in the face.
1388
01:06:54,510 --> 01:06:57,263
I punched someone
in the face my first day here.
1389
01:06:57,471 --> 01:06:59,849
I hit a guy the other day.
I went and I elbowed him.
1390
01:06:59,932 --> 01:07:01,976
They just literally come up behind you
and grab your butt.
1391
01:07:03,310 --> 01:07:05,146
[indistinct chatter]
1392
01:07:06,272 --> 01:07:10,151
Some random guy literally sucked my tit
out of nowhere.
1393
01:07:15,990 --> 01:07:18,826
I just went-- I just went with it.
There was nothing much I could do.
1394
01:07:18,909 --> 01:07:20,745
Yeah, there was definitely nothing
she could do.
1395
01:07:20,828 --> 01:07:22,538
There was nothing
you could do to solve that.
1396
01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:31,005
[woman]They'll come up to you.
1397
01:07:31,088 --> 01:07:33,424
They'll grab you in every way,
shape, or form.
1398
01:07:33,632 --> 01:07:35,926
They think that they're entitled
to you and to your body.
1399
01:07:36,093 --> 01:07:39,513
[shouting]
1400
01:07:39,764 --> 01:07:41,640
[man] Motorboat those titties!
1401
01:07:55,321 --> 01:07:56,781
[woman] Put me down!
1402
01:07:57,239 --> 01:08:00,076
Help me, help me!
1403
01:08:02,119 --> 01:08:04,413
Help me, help me!
1404
01:08:05,331 --> 01:08:06,499
[man] Do you feel safe here?
1405
01:08:06,624 --> 01:08:07,666
No!
1406
01:08:07,833 --> 01:08:09,710
-No!
-No! [chuckles]
1407
01:08:10,044 --> 01:08:11,128
Not really.
1408
01:08:11,712 --> 01:08:14,048
That's so sad. Do you want us to say yes?
1409
01:08:17,718 --> 01:08:23,933
[sing-song voice] Hey, we want some pussy!
Hey, we want some pussy!
1410
01:08:25,768 --> 01:08:27,228
[man] Fuck her!
1411
01:08:31,816 --> 01:08:37,029
[all] Fuck! Fuck!
1412
01:08:42,660 --> 01:08:45,371
[clamoring]
1413
01:08:52,837 --> 01:08:54,004
Vagina!
1414
01:08:59,009 --> 01:09:00,177
[man] Tell me about that. What happened?
1415
01:09:00,511 --> 01:09:02,304
So her coochie was wide open.
1416
01:09:02,429 --> 01:09:03,764
so shit--
just pull the fucking coochie off.
1417
01:09:03,889 --> 01:09:04,932
-And everybody just went at it.
-[man] Everybody.
1418
01:09:05,057 --> 01:09:07,017
Everybody just went at it
and fucking had a blast.
1419
01:09:07,101 --> 01:09:08,519
I know I did. Blasty blast.
1420
01:09:08,602 --> 01:09:10,020
Started grabbing her like that.
1421
01:09:10,104 --> 01:09:10,980
Grabbing everything.
1422
01:09:11,313 --> 01:09:13,649
Grabbing and fondling her fucking fun box.
1423
01:09:13,816 --> 01:09:17,862
[all] Pussy! Pussy! Hey, Pussy!
1424
01:09:18,112 --> 01:09:19,446
[man] Pussy!
1425
01:09:30,916 --> 01:09:34,628
[man] Why... why do guys feel
entitled to women's bodies?
1426
01:09:34,753 --> 01:09:38,591
Because it's--it's not even
the spring break mentality.
1427
01:09:38,716 --> 01:09:40,759
It happens everywhere. I can tell you--
1428
01:09:40,968 --> 01:09:41,802
[Loden] Bars.
1429
01:09:41,886 --> 01:09:43,470
I can tell you everywhere.
1430
01:09:43,554 --> 01:09:46,432
Especially we have a club
back in town called Coliseum.
1431
01:09:46,974 --> 01:09:51,353
Every time I go into this club,
I can count 100% some guy's
1432
01:09:51,437 --> 01:09:55,149
going to try and take
my clothes off, 100%.
1433
01:09:55,482 --> 01:10:01,071
Guys feel like-- And it's not even--
Media makes them think that it's OK
1434
01:10:01,155 --> 01:10:03,157
because women are sexual objects.
1435
01:10:03,657 --> 01:10:05,034
They're not like people.
1436
01:10:05,117 --> 01:10:07,119
[Loden] MTV, man.
It plays a big role in that.
1437
01:10:07,244 --> 01:10:10,206
I watched the MTV Spring Break
when I was a kid growing up.
1438
01:10:10,581 --> 01:10:13,375
And you watch that, like I watched
that a child growing up,
1439
01:10:13,500 --> 01:10:14,960
like MTV Spring Break.
1440
01:10:15,085 --> 01:10:18,172
And you watch that
and you're like, "Spring break,
1441
01:10:18,255 --> 01:10:19,673
you can do anything you want to."
1442
01:10:30,851 --> 01:10:32,645
[woman] Everybody ready? Yep, OK.
1443
01:10:34,104 --> 01:10:35,022
Um...
1444
01:10:36,982 --> 01:10:39,276
Well, guys, today we're here to talk about
1445
01:10:39,860 --> 01:10:43,072
probably one of the most
disgusting, repulsive,
1446
01:10:43,197 --> 01:10:47,076
sickening things that I've seen
this year on Panama City Beach,
1447
01:10:47,201 --> 01:10:48,869
and I've seen a lot of them.
1448
01:10:49,662 --> 01:10:52,665
Today, we bring a case forward
1449
01:10:52,748 --> 01:10:57,211
and--and publically of a gang rape
1450
01:10:57,294 --> 01:10:59,964
type sexual battery that occurred,
1451
01:11:00,589 --> 01:11:03,842
uh, during the middle of March
on the sandy white beaches
1452
01:11:04,009 --> 01:11:07,012
directly behind the Spinnaker Club.
1453
01:11:13,435 --> 01:11:14,895
Bay County Sheriff's
officials are continuing
1454
01:11:15,020 --> 01:11:17,273
to investigate a video that has surfaced.
1455
01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:21,402
An apparent spring break gang rape
recorded on a cell phone.
1456
01:11:21,485 --> 01:11:24,947
There is a screenshot
of the alleged assault,
1457
01:11:25,072 --> 01:11:26,490
it has been blurred.
1458
01:11:28,867 --> 01:11:31,161
[woman] The video shows
hundreds of beachgoers
1459
01:11:31,287 --> 01:11:34,456
continuing to party while
less than 10 feet away
1460
01:11:34,581 --> 01:11:37,293
police say at least
three men were gang raping
1461
01:11:37,418 --> 01:11:40,379
an apparently unconscious
19-year-old woman.
1462
01:11:40,921 --> 01:11:43,424
[Megyn] They say that her legs
are being held down,
1463
01:11:43,549 --> 01:11:44,800
the police tell us.
1464
01:11:45,175 --> 01:11:47,928
They say you can hear people saying,
"That's nasty,"
1465
01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:50,431
and, "She isn't going to know,".
1466
01:11:50,597 --> 01:11:54,101
The visual of everyone there
not doing anything about it
1467
01:11:54,268 --> 01:11:56,478
just shows how permissible it is
in our society.
1468
01:11:56,687 --> 01:11:59,273
A crowded beach, broad daylight,
1469
01:11:59,398 --> 01:12:02,860
and this apparently happening
and no one doing a darn thing.
1470
01:12:03,235 --> 01:12:04,320
How is that possible?
1471
01:12:04,486 --> 01:12:05,612
How do we explain something like this?
1472
01:12:05,863 --> 01:12:09,491
[Sean] How could this happen,
a gang rape in broad daylight
1473
01:12:09,575 --> 01:12:13,454
on the beach with people all
around this unconscious girl?
1474
01:12:13,620 --> 01:12:15,414
It's beyond my comprehension,
1475
01:12:15,497 --> 01:12:19,168
especially if it was behind
one of the super clubs.
1476
01:12:19,501 --> 01:12:21,712
This is not the first
video we've recovered,
1477
01:12:21,795 --> 01:12:25,007
it's not the second video,
it's not the third video.
1478
01:12:25,341 --> 01:12:29,470
There's a number of videos we recovered
with things similar to this.
1479
01:12:29,678 --> 01:12:33,599
And I can only imagine
how many we haven't recovered.
1480
01:12:33,724 --> 01:12:36,268
This is about something
endemic in our culture,
1481
01:12:36,393 --> 01:12:39,355
both in the spring break culture
and on our college campuses,
1482
01:12:39,646 --> 01:12:43,025
where we have
institutionalized binge alcohol
1483
01:12:43,108 --> 01:12:44,568
and hooking up culture.
1484
01:12:44,693 --> 01:12:46,904
And at spring break, this is acted out.
1485
01:12:47,029 --> 01:12:49,490
look, as the sheriff said,
more than he understood,
1486
01:12:49,615 --> 01:12:52,201
more than he imagined,
it's becoming normative,
1487
01:12:52,326 --> 01:12:54,036
so these kids don't even understand
1488
01:12:54,161 --> 01:12:56,914
they're engaging in criminal
behavior when people are
1489
01:12:56,997 --> 01:13:00,626
in a condition to not even be
able to defend themselves.
1490
01:13:02,086 --> 01:13:07,091
[Frank] Our culture, and our society
and our young people have got to the point
1491
01:13:07,216 --> 01:13:10,177
to where obviously this is
acceptable somewhere.
1492
01:13:10,427 --> 01:13:14,473
And we can wear t-shirts and say
save our beach all we want to,
1493
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:18,769
but that is not going to restore this girl
1494
01:13:18,894 --> 01:13:23,107
who was viciously violated
by these individuals
1495
01:13:24,358 --> 01:13:26,276
last month on our beaches.
1496
01:13:48,298 --> 01:13:52,177
[Don] What are they thinking?
Like, what are these guys thinking?
1497
01:13:53,220 --> 01:13:56,390
And the answer is very simple,
they think it's OK.
1498
01:13:57,433 --> 01:13:59,393
They think that this is what
they're supposed to do,
1499
01:13:59,726 --> 01:14:00,769
this is the party.
1500
01:14:01,478 --> 01:14:03,397
This is what you do.
1501
01:14:05,983 --> 01:14:09,486
You have respectable businesses,
hotels and restaurants
1502
01:14:09,611 --> 01:14:12,656
and otherwise respectable businesses,
who are saying do that.
1503
01:14:14,032 --> 01:14:17,119
Let's have this night.
Let's do these kind of shots.
1504
01:14:17,244 --> 01:14:19,746
All right, it's a whole culture
that's saying do this.
1505
01:14:21,457 --> 01:14:23,625
And so they're just
acting out all those things
1506
01:14:23,792 --> 01:14:27,713
that they've seen in one way or another
through various forms of media growing up.
1507
01:14:28,255 --> 01:14:31,592
They were socialized in our neighborhoods,
they were socialized in our high schools
1508
01:14:31,842 --> 01:14:35,262
and our communities.
And we can sit there and watch that
1509
01:14:35,387 --> 01:14:37,306
and see this horrific scene,
"What were they thinking?"
1510
01:14:37,639 --> 01:14:39,141
They were thinking it was OK.
1511
01:14:43,312 --> 01:14:47,399
[Caroline] During spring break,
sexual violence is absolutely the norm.
1512
01:14:48,108 --> 01:14:49,776
the strange thing about all of this
1513
01:14:49,902 --> 01:14:52,821
is this happens every year,
and this happens
1514
01:14:53,071 --> 01:14:56,742
with hundreds of thousands
of people in hundreds of cities.
1515
01:14:58,869 --> 01:15:00,454
The fact that we normalize that
1516
01:15:00,537 --> 01:15:03,415
and let that happen
in a public setting I think
1517
01:15:03,540 --> 01:15:05,792
is a clear indicator
that we live in a rape culture
1518
01:15:05,876 --> 01:15:07,377
where we condone this sort of behavior.
1519
01:15:08,545 --> 01:15:11,673
So, when we ask ourselves
why is it that young people
1520
01:15:11,798 --> 01:15:14,676
are engaging in these things,
we have to look at ourselves
1521
01:15:14,801 --> 01:15:18,764
as well, because this is the culture
that we've created.
1522
01:15:35,822 --> 01:15:37,908
[Sut] What does it mean to be masculine?
1523
01:15:40,827 --> 01:15:42,704
What does it mean to be feminine?
1524
01:15:46,124 --> 01:15:49,253
What is the full range
of what it means to be human?
1525
01:15:51,713 --> 01:15:54,633
In popular culture,
men and women are encouraged
1526
01:15:54,716 --> 01:15:57,594
to be in the world in very,
very narrow ways.
1527
01:15:59,471 --> 01:16:02,766
We need to create a world
that's not this narrow box,
1528
01:16:03,308 --> 01:16:05,352
but there's this whole range of ways
1529
01:16:05,435 --> 01:16:10,232
in which girls can be girls
and boys can be boys.
1530
01:16:14,236 --> 01:16:16,863
[Robert] When you get men
away from the banter
1531
01:16:17,030 --> 01:16:20,534
and the bravado of trying
to impress other men,
1532
01:16:20,909 --> 01:16:22,369
you get a very different story.
1533
01:16:22,953 --> 01:16:26,290
You get a story of complexity,
of self-doubt.
1534
01:16:27,499 --> 01:16:30,877
Because I think at some level,
we all know as men
1535
01:16:31,169 --> 01:16:34,214
that this conception
of masculinity is undermining
1536
01:16:34,381 --> 01:16:36,800
our own ability to be full human beings.
1537
01:16:39,553 --> 01:16:42,389
If you really want to be
a person in the deepest sense
1538
01:16:42,472 --> 01:16:47,686
that we mean that, you've got to let go
of what we've learned as men,
1539
01:16:47,811 --> 01:16:50,897
which is to use women
for our own sexual pleasure.
1540
01:16:54,860 --> 01:16:57,529
[Don] You haven't challenged men
and boys to be better.
1541
01:16:58,113 --> 01:17:00,907
You haven't seen men challenge
each other to be loving
1542
01:17:01,033 --> 01:17:03,535
and caring and sensitive
and passive and submissive
1543
01:17:03,660 --> 01:17:04,911
and empathetic and vulnerable.
1544
01:17:04,995 --> 01:17:07,247
We don't allow other men
to be those things,
1545
01:17:07,372 --> 01:17:09,291
but that's the truth for us as men.
1546
01:17:11,543 --> 01:17:13,962
We need to be more honest
about who we are as emotional,
1547
01:17:14,087 --> 01:17:16,173
vulnerable human beings.
1548
01:17:19,718 --> 01:17:22,262
[Tony] I remember asking
a nine-year-old boy
1549
01:17:22,387 --> 01:17:25,057
if he didn't have to live
with these norms that
1550
01:17:25,182 --> 01:17:27,893
he has to negotiate,
if he didn't have to live with that,
1551
01:17:28,560 --> 01:17:31,229
you know, what would
the impact be for him.
1552
01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:34,858
And he said to me, "I would be free."
1553
01:17:36,693 --> 01:17:40,697
And I said, "Wow, he's not liberated."
1554
01:17:42,532 --> 01:17:45,786
So, these same notions
of manhood that are
1555
01:17:45,952 --> 01:17:49,915
holding women hostage
are holding men hostage.
1556
01:17:52,042 --> 01:17:54,211
It's important for men to see that it's in
1557
01:17:54,336 --> 01:17:58,090
our own self-interest to embrace
the dignity of women.
1558
01:17:58,632 --> 01:18:00,342
By embracing the dignity of women,
1559
01:18:00,425 --> 01:18:04,221
I'm allowing myself to be full,
myself to be whole.
1560
01:18:04,304 --> 01:18:06,014
When I embrace the dignity of women,
1561
01:18:06,098 --> 01:18:09,726
I'm no longer being held hostage
to these rigid norms
1562
01:18:09,810 --> 01:18:11,520
that define manhood.
1563
01:18:13,313 --> 01:18:17,317
So, when I'm promoting freedom for women,
I'm promoting freedom for me.
1564
01:18:24,825 --> 01:18:29,579
[Caroline] The system is completely
and profoundly broken for women.
1565
01:18:30,664 --> 01:18:33,375
And so it's good for young women to fight
1566
01:18:33,500 --> 01:18:35,877
to get away from the messages
that make us feel
1567
01:18:36,002 --> 01:18:38,755
that we need to be sex objects
and that that's our worth.
1568
01:18:39,256 --> 01:18:43,427
And to carve out spaces
with like-minded individuals
1569
01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:46,513
where they can explore these
ideas of empowerment,
1570
01:18:46,638 --> 01:18:48,265
what it really means to be empowered,
1571
01:18:48,348 --> 01:18:51,101
what it really means to--to have
self-worth and confidence
1572
01:18:51,226 --> 01:18:52,853
and how you can build that.
1573
01:18:55,188 --> 01:18:57,649
[Dakota] I want to put this
out there for all young women.
1574
01:18:58,066 --> 01:19:01,820
Do not believe the media,
because it's bullshit.
1575
01:19:02,446 --> 01:19:06,700
They need you to be thin,
pretty, tall, gorgeous.
1576
01:19:08,410 --> 01:19:11,621
But we're so much more than that.
Like, you can be sweet, you can be fun,
1577
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:16,668
you can be happy.
You can become a powerful woman in society
1578
01:19:16,752 --> 01:19:17,961
if you want to.
1579
01:19:24,593 --> 01:19:27,095
[Kimmy] It was necessary
to grow up, step back,
1580
01:19:27,220 --> 01:19:29,765
and realize that I was influenced
by other people.
1581
01:19:30,056 --> 01:19:33,393
And that all the decisions that
I thought I was making myself
1582
01:19:33,977 --> 01:19:38,106
were decisions made in the hopes
of pleasing someone else
1583
01:19:38,398 --> 01:19:40,525
or being like someone else.
1584
01:19:41,526 --> 01:19:43,153
It's kind of sad,
1585
01:19:43,737 --> 01:19:47,199
especially because
right now my sister's 13.
1586
01:19:47,449 --> 01:19:48,950
[sobbing]
1587
01:19:49,659 --> 01:19:52,621
And I'm just hearing
all of us go through this.
1588
01:19:54,122 --> 01:19:57,709
I don't want her to be pressured.
I want her-- I want her to do it herself,
1589
01:19:57,793 --> 01:20:01,296
and I want her to feel strong,
and I want her to make her own choices.
1590
01:20:01,505 --> 01:20:03,507
I want her to know she's beautiful.
1591
01:20:04,132 --> 01:20:07,010
I don't want her to base
her worth on other people.
1592
01:20:13,767 --> 01:20:19,439
It's hard growing up
and just seeing the cycle continue.
1593
01:20:22,192 --> 01:20:23,610
It's my baby sister.
1594
01:20:41,336 --> 01:20:43,463
[Kim] I think in the heart of a woman,
1595
01:20:43,755 --> 01:20:49,261
we want to be seen as truly beautiful,
1596
01:20:50,303 --> 01:20:55,600
someone to be treasured and lifted up.
1597
01:20:58,144 --> 01:21:00,230
And we're hoping,
constantly hoping that someone
1598
01:21:00,313 --> 01:21:03,859
will not exploit, not degrade,
1599
01:21:03,942 --> 01:21:06,653
but treasure who we are,
who we really are.
1600
01:21:09,155 --> 01:21:11,116
And that's at the heart of all of us.
1601
01:21:11,741 --> 01:21:16,872
We all need to be known,
to have human connection,
1602
01:21:17,122 --> 01:21:20,667
to be seen and to still
be loved in that place.
1603
01:21:21,293 --> 01:21:23,879
If we're keeping parts hidden
or just displaying one thing
1604
01:21:24,045 --> 01:21:26,047
or compartmentalizing our life,
1605
01:21:27,048 --> 01:21:30,468
it's preventing us from being
1606
01:21:30,552 --> 01:21:33,847
liberated in who we are in our fullness.
1607
01:21:35,223 --> 01:21:37,475
There needs to be
a resurgence in our culture
1608
01:21:37,601 --> 01:21:40,854
that values humanity, that values a man,
1609
01:21:40,937 --> 01:21:45,692
that values a woman for their entirety
of mind, body, and soul.
1610
01:21:47,652 --> 01:21:52,032
That process starts with me,
and it starts with you.
1611
01:22:10,508 --> 01:22:12,928
[narrator] Life as a child
was full of possibility
1612
01:22:13,053 --> 01:22:14,012
and freedom.
1613
01:22:19,100 --> 01:22:22,145
As an adult, I realize
how conditioned I've become,
1614
01:22:22,729 --> 01:22:24,731
how scripted my life feels.
1615
01:22:29,736 --> 01:22:32,072
In the struggle of growing up,
we seem to lose
1616
01:22:32,197 --> 01:22:34,199
our unique way of being in the world.
1617
01:22:36,159 --> 01:22:38,453
[giggling]
1618
01:22:40,872 --> 01:22:46,044
Our sense of wonder and imagination
is often drowned by cultural expectations
1619
01:22:46,252 --> 01:22:47,963
and the pressure to conform.
1620
01:22:52,759 --> 01:22:55,720
Maybe it's time for us
to reclaim who we are,
1621
01:22:59,307 --> 01:23:01,893
to see each other with empathy,
1622
01:23:05,188 --> 01:23:09,109
and to strive to truly be free.