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1
00:00:30,211 --> 00:00:33,248
So these are stories of
transformation and you can see

2
00:00:33,281 --> 00:00:36,785
that we don't find out what
Phoebus, the nominative noun,

3
00:00:36,818 --> 00:00:39,489
loves until all the way
at the end of the line,

4
00:00:39,522 --> 00:00:41,656
and everything else
comes in between.

5
00:00:41,690 --> 00:00:45,128
That is P-H-O-E-B-U-S...

6
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,629
And... oops, I shouldn't
have written that extra "E"

7
00:00:47,662 --> 00:00:48,598
on the board.

8
00:03:32,994 --> 00:03:35,831
<i>My name is
Publius Ovidius Naso,</i>

9
00:03:35,863 --> 00:03:38,968
<i>although I would later
become better known as "Ovid."</i>

10
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,969
<i>I was born in a time of peace.</i>

11
00:03:56,985 --> 00:04:00,556
There was a rape and a murder
here just the other day!

12
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,624
You best be careful!

13
00:04:09,064 --> 00:04:10,700
Please, Your Majesty,

14
00:04:10,732 --> 00:04:12,367
we ask for your clemency!

15
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,604
We were captured on
orders and forced to fight.

16
00:04:26,482 --> 00:04:27,783
You must die.

17
00:04:27,816 --> 00:04:28,618
No.

18
00:04:29,518 --> 00:04:30,619
No.

19
00:04:30,651 --> 00:04:31,486
No!

20
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,056
No!

21
00:04:42,430 --> 00:04:44,532
Your Majesty, Your Eminence,

22
00:04:44,566 --> 00:04:46,902
I never knew Mark Antony!

23
00:04:46,934 --> 00:04:49,071
I was in the third infantry!

24
00:05:19,501 --> 00:05:20,602
What do you want?

25
00:05:20,636 --> 00:05:23,539
We've come on official
business from your father.

26
00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:26,641
Bugger...

27
00:05:26,675 --> 00:05:29,677
Your father is trying
to consolidate power

28
00:05:29,711 --> 00:05:31,080
which of course means...

29
00:05:31,112 --> 00:05:33,848
strengthening ties
to his generals.

30
00:05:33,881 --> 00:05:36,819
He wants you to marry Tiberius.

31
00:05:37,718 --> 00:05:39,154
Tiberius is married.

32
00:05:39,187 --> 00:05:43,057
Well, of course
there'll be a divorce.

33
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:46,562
I'm still grieving my
late husband's passing.

34
00:05:46,595 --> 00:05:48,564
Tiberius' mother is...

35
00:05:48,597 --> 00:05:50,065
his wife, my step-mother.

36
00:05:50,098 --> 00:05:51,667
What other ties does he need?

37
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,535
You know how much
your father cares about

38
00:05:53,569 --> 00:05:55,136
the importance of family.

39
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:56,571
I have my family.

40
00:05:56,605 --> 00:05:58,474
I'm happy here.

41
00:05:58,506 --> 00:06:00,542
I'm afraid your
father's decision is

42
00:06:00,576 --> 00:06:02,111
the law of the land.

43
00:06:02,143 --> 00:06:05,713
This isn't a monarchy
or a dictatorship.

44
00:06:29,037 --> 00:06:32,241
<i>It was during this
time of peace I was born.</i>

45
00:06:32,273 --> 00:06:33,942
Hey man,
you got a coin?

46
00:06:35,009 --> 00:06:36,178
Uh, yeah.

47
00:06:39,514 --> 00:06:40,649
Tough times?

48
00:06:40,682 --> 00:06:44,252
While I was at war, my wife
got sick, I got injured...

49
00:06:44,285 --> 00:06:46,221
What war?

50
00:06:46,254 --> 00:06:48,523
- This is a time of peace.
- Peaceful for the people

51
00:06:48,557 --> 00:06:50,525
living within this nation.

52
00:06:50,559 --> 00:06:52,528
But what about our
fighting overseas

53
00:06:52,561 --> 00:06:54,662
with our barbarous
neighbors up north?

54
00:06:54,696 --> 00:06:57,166
Where do you think all our
Treasury money is going?

55
00:07:02,237 --> 00:07:03,539
Um...

56
00:07:05,607 --> 00:07:07,809
<i>After years of civil war,</i>

57
00:07:07,843 --> 00:07:10,612
<i>the newly anointed Emperor
Augustus had finally brought</i>

58
00:07:10,646 --> 00:07:12,814
<i>peace to the Roman Empire...</i>

59
00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:15,251
<i>by silencing the opposition.</i>

60
00:07:15,283 --> 00:07:19,687
We are glad to have
at our helm, a man, again,

61
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,790
who is not only such a
capable leader and general,

62
00:07:22,824 --> 00:07:25,927
but one who truly
understands Roman values

63
00:07:25,961 --> 00:07:27,196
and our way of life:

64
00:07:27,228 --> 00:07:28,930
the Republic, the Senate,

65
00:07:28,963 --> 00:07:31,566
and the great
establishments of this Empire.

66
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,768
Senex...

67
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,170
- May I call you "Senex?"
- Of course.

68
00:07:35,203 --> 00:07:37,239
We are to be friends.

69
00:07:37,271 --> 00:07:40,942
I can't tell you how much
it pains me not to have

70
00:07:40,975 --> 00:07:43,912
more noble families represented.

71
00:07:43,946 --> 00:07:48,050
In this Empire, we believe
in electing our government.

72
00:07:49,585 --> 00:07:51,854
I would not be
Roman if I didn't.

73
00:07:53,622 --> 00:07:56,792
I want to thank you
for coming to see me.

74
00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:59,694
We shall see more
of you, I suppose.

75
00:07:59,727 --> 00:08:01,030
But of course.

76
00:08:13,307 --> 00:08:16,211
Then you are really determined
to restore the Republic?

77
00:08:17,612 --> 00:08:18,747
I have no choice.

78
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:20,749
After all the bloodshed...

79
00:08:20,782 --> 00:08:22,885
civil wars...

80
00:08:22,917 --> 00:08:25,720
it's your firm leadership that
finally brought us to peace.

81
00:08:25,754 --> 00:08:27,823
- Tiberius...
- What, Mother?

82
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,624
Cleary, if we are
to maintain peace,

83
00:08:29,658 --> 00:08:32,227
we must appease the
people and noble families.

84
00:08:32,260 --> 00:08:34,597
We have to restore the Republic.

85
00:08:34,630 --> 00:08:36,732
Then how do we consolidate power

86
00:08:36,765 --> 00:08:37,967
and keep control?

87
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:42,036
We give them values.

88
00:08:42,069 --> 00:08:44,973
We give the people
something to believe in.

89
00:08:48,709 --> 00:08:51,846
<i>So how did I, a nice
boy from small-town Rome,</i>

90
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,115
<i>end up in the big city,</i>

91
00:08:53,147 --> 00:08:56,918
<i>the capital itself, become the
most popular poet of my day,</i>

92
00:08:56,952 --> 00:08:59,322
<i>and end up in trouble
with the brutal Emperor?</i>

93
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:05,627
<i>My story starts in
the small town of Sulmo,</i>

94
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:08,329
<i>where we lived a simple
agrarian way of life.</i>

95
00:09:08,362 --> 00:09:11,099
<i>My parents' generation
had known only war.</i>

96
00:09:11,132 --> 00:09:13,035
<i>but thanks to the Pax Augustus,</i>

97
00:09:13,068 --> 00:09:15,871
<i>the peace created
by Emperor Augustus,</i>

98
00:09:15,904 --> 00:09:18,641
- <i>we had known only tranquility.</i>
- Ovid!

99
00:09:18,674 --> 00:09:20,742
Ovid, the men are here for you!

100
00:09:20,775 --> 00:09:23,078
The Emperor's men
are here for you!

101
00:09:23,111 --> 00:09:25,814
They came all the
way from Rome, Ovid!

102
00:09:25,847 --> 00:09:27,683
<i>Apparently,
being from a small town</i>

103
00:09:27,716 --> 00:09:30,719
<i>and of equestrian rank gave me
the "right values"</i>

104
00:09:30,751 --> 00:09:33,054
<i>that qualified me to be a Paul.</i>

105
00:09:33,088 --> 00:09:34,756
Ovid! Ovid!

106
00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:37,925
<i>And just like that,
they intruded on my life.</i>

107
00:09:37,958 --> 00:09:39,227
Of course you'll go.

108
00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:41,030
It's not even a question.

109
00:09:41,063 --> 00:09:42,297
Is it a
rhetorical question?

110
00:09:42,329 --> 00:09:44,766
- Don't be witty.
- I'm not being witty...

111
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,803
- I'm being rhetorical.
- Stop being smart, Ovid.

112
00:09:47,835 --> 00:09:50,071
Isn't that what politicians
are supposed to be?

113
00:09:50,104 --> 00:09:51,205
Not necessarily.

114
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,375
I don't understand
your resistance to this.

115
00:09:53,407 --> 00:09:55,943
Here you've been
hand-selected by the Emperor,

116
00:09:55,977 --> 00:09:58,347
by His Eminence,
Ceasar Augustus,

117
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,216
to receive the best education
you could possibly receive,

118
00:10:01,248 --> 00:10:04,987
to work for the government, and
you want to throw it all away...

119
00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:06,722
because you'll miss the
babbling brook at the end

120
00:10:06,755 --> 00:10:10,391
of the property and the dirt
road you played on as a child.

121
00:10:10,425 --> 00:10:12,361
- Uh... yeah.
- Not to mention...

122
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:13,595
Just a side-note:

123
00:10:13,628 --> 00:10:15,830
for any of you out there who
though you were the first one

124
00:10:15,863 --> 00:10:18,466
to be completely misunderstood
by your parents...

125
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,703
this was 31 BCE.

126
00:10:20,736 --> 00:10:23,138
And you've been hand-selected
to help the senate more

127
00:10:23,170 --> 00:10:26,941
fairly represent the
outlying provinces,

128
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,277
so that you could
help this great Empire

129
00:10:29,310 --> 00:10:30,845
reach it's potential,

130
00:10:30,878 --> 00:10:34,782
so that you can make society
a better and just place

131
00:10:34,815 --> 00:10:35,950
to live in.

132
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:38,987
- My name is "nose."
- Gods bless Rome!

133
00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:41,857
- My name is "nose."
- I don't understand, Ovid.

134
00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:43,726
Are you listening to me?

135
00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:46,260
The boy is complaining
about his name again, Karina.

136
00:10:46,294 --> 00:10:49,430
Our name is "Naso,"
that means "nose!"

137
00:10:49,463 --> 00:10:52,734
Let's just say I learned
a lot and did really well.

138
00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:54,469
How far do you
really think I'd get?

139
00:10:54,502 --> 00:10:58,873
All hail our great leader
and national hero, Mister...

140
00:10:58,906 --> 00:11:01,876
or should I say Senator Nose.

141
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:03,411
What was that?

142
00:11:03,444 --> 00:11:07,882
He really knows... oops, pardon
my pun... how to sniff out

143
00:11:07,915 --> 00:11:09,417
the bad and find the good.

144
00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:12,320
What did you say,
Publius Ovidius Naso?

145
00:11:12,353 --> 00:11:14,388
I hated when they addressed
me by my full name.

146
00:11:17,324 --> 00:11:19,294
I hated when they
used their formal Latin.

147
00:11:22,963 --> 00:11:24,465
The Cicero quotes
were the worst.

148
00:11:24,498 --> 00:11:26,300
This particular one
was from when Catalin

149
00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:28,904
had stormed into the Roman
Senate after he betrayed it.

150
00:11:35,242 --> 00:11:37,879
Look what you've done to your
mother in this time of peace.

151
00:11:37,913 --> 00:11:40,315
Is this why your grandfather
fought with the Roman Legions?

152
00:11:40,348 --> 00:11:43,117
Is this why... your uncle
is fighting right now

153
00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:45,453
against Mark Antony
in the Battle of Actium

154
00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:46,921
all the way in Egypt?

155
00:11:46,954 --> 00:11:48,924
Carpe Diem, Ovid.

156
00:11:48,957 --> 00:11:50,325
Seize the day.

157
00:11:50,357 --> 00:11:53,060
<i>And just like
that, it was settled.</i>

158
00:11:53,093 --> 00:11:54,829
I would go to Rome.

159
00:12:30,064 --> 00:12:30,900
Hey, man.

160
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:33,535
Hey. Hi.

161
00:12:34,902 --> 00:12:36,070
You new here?

162
00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:37,839
Uh, yeah, I j...
I just got here.

163
00:12:38,873 --> 00:12:40,942
Oh, Maximilius, by the way.

164
00:12:40,976 --> 00:12:43,511
But you can call me... "Max."

165
00:12:44,478 --> 00:12:45,446
I'm, uh...

166
00:12:46,381 --> 00:12:47,049
Ovid.

167
00:12:47,082 --> 00:12:48,617
It's nice to meet you, Max.

168
00:12:48,650 --> 00:12:51,285
So what brings you
to the city, man?

169
00:12:51,319 --> 00:12:54,389
I was recruited by
the government so...

170
00:12:54,421 --> 00:12:55,990
law and government, basically.

171
00:12:56,024 --> 00:12:57,192
Oh, one of those!

172
00:12:57,224 --> 00:13:00,561
I get it; pass a few laws,
preside over a few executions,

173
00:13:00,594 --> 00:13:02,630
hobnob with the Emperor's
people, I get it.

174
00:13:02,664 --> 00:13:03,966
No, that
wasn't exactly the plan.

175
00:13:03,998 --> 00:13:05,399
I'm just fucking with you, man.

176
00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:07,169
I mean, maybe a
little execution?

177
00:13:09,570 --> 00:13:12,139
I'm not...
I'm fucking with you!

178
00:13:12,173 --> 00:13:13,274
Chill...

179
00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:15,110
Anyway, it's a great city.
Been here five years,

180
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,177
never gets old.

181
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:18,412
After all, this is Rome, man!

182
00:13:18,445 --> 00:13:19,881
The capital of our Empire,

183
00:13:19,915 --> 00:13:22,016
the center of our
universe, you know?

184
00:13:22,050 --> 00:13:26,154
It's got great nightlife, great
shopping, and oh, the women.

185
00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:28,155
Hey, that's why they call it
"the city that never sleeps,"

186
00:13:28,189 --> 00:13:30,525
you know what I'm saying?

187
00:13:30,558 --> 00:13:33,295
'Cause it...
everyone's... having sex.

188
00:13:33,328 --> 00:13:35,429
Anyway, uh...

189
00:13:35,463 --> 00:13:37,266
I... I gotta run,
but take it easy.

190
00:13:37,299 --> 00:13:38,567
Look me up if you
ever need anything.

191
00:13:38,599 --> 00:13:40,435
5E.

192
00:13:55,983 --> 00:13:57,184
That's enough.

193
00:13:57,218 --> 00:13:59,154
That's enough,
let's join the others.

194
00:14:17,104 --> 00:14:20,041
Oh, look,
my father's podium.

195
00:14:20,074 --> 00:14:21,275
Careful...

196
00:14:21,309 --> 00:14:23,646
we might ask you
to preside instead.

197
00:14:27,381 --> 00:14:30,218
Senex, my darling!

198
00:14:30,251 --> 00:14:31,352
- How are you?
- Oh!

199
00:14:31,386 --> 00:14:33,387
As good as ever, my dear.

200
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:34,355
I miss you, Senex!

201
00:14:34,389 --> 00:14:36,358
I never see you at the
Capitoline building,

202
00:14:36,391 --> 00:14:38,593
where all you Senators
supposedly work.

203
00:14:38,626 --> 00:14:41,262
You might not miss me so
much if they ever restored

204
00:14:41,295 --> 00:14:43,965
the actual powers
of the Roman Republic.

205
00:14:43,998 --> 00:14:44,933
Mwah!

206
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,400
You were always my favorite.

207
00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:47,569
Maybe I can help.

208
00:14:48,402 --> 00:14:49,604
Please do!

209
00:14:52,173 --> 00:14:54,343
Order!

210
00:14:54,376 --> 00:14:55,644
Order...

211
00:14:55,678 --> 00:14:58,981
I never thought I'd see you
wielding your father's gavel.

212
00:14:59,014 --> 00:15:01,616
Well, you know how much
blood ties and family values

213
00:15:01,649 --> 00:15:02,985
mean to us.

214
00:15:03,017 --> 00:15:06,088
Good evening,
fine citizens of Rome!

215
00:15:07,088 --> 00:15:09,757
In honor of the 15th
year of the Restoration

216
00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:11,760
of the Republic,

217
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:14,496
through no
democratic vote at all,

218
00:15:14,529 --> 00:15:18,667
we have appointed our Emperor
Ceasar Augustus' daughter,

219
00:15:18,699 --> 00:15:23,537
Julia, to take his place
at his almighty podium.

220
00:15:23,570 --> 00:15:26,540
And to see how she,

221
00:15:26,574 --> 00:15:29,410
through the barter of
sexual favors...

222
00:15:29,444 --> 00:15:32,514
might fix the current
political situation.

223
00:15:35,617 --> 00:15:38,020
First on the docket:

224
00:15:38,053 --> 00:15:40,122
world hunger.

225
00:15:40,155 --> 00:15:43,791
It has come to my attention
that in the developed world,

226
00:15:43,824 --> 00:15:47,396
while those of us in the upper
classes have plenty to eat,

227
00:15:47,429 --> 00:15:51,100
everyone else seems to be out
of work and, at times, starving.

228
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,267
My solution?

229
00:15:54,501 --> 00:15:57,671
Fellatio.

230
00:15:57,704 --> 00:16:02,477
Yes, one lucky man, or
woman, as the case may be,

231
00:16:02,510 --> 00:16:05,347
who can solve this
problem of inequity,

232
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:08,450
institutionalized by
our governing order,

233
00:16:08,482 --> 00:16:12,554
will receive a blowjob
from yours truly.

234
00:16:14,222 --> 00:16:17,324
And remember, this
is no ordinary spit!

235
00:16:17,357 --> 00:16:22,130
The spit that will alight
your dong is royal saliva...

236
00:16:23,131 --> 00:16:26,068
passed down from the
divine Emperor himself.

237
00:16:27,202 --> 00:16:28,437
Okay!

238
00:16:28,469 --> 00:16:30,504
Second on the list:

239
00:16:30,538 --> 00:16:33,341
true restoration of
the Roman Republic.

240
00:16:33,373 --> 00:16:34,442
At last!

241
00:16:34,476 --> 00:16:36,344
It has come to my attention,

242
00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:41,149
through my position as royal
baby-maker and diaper-changer...

243
00:16:41,181 --> 00:16:45,186
that while we supposedly have
a representative government,

244
00:16:45,219 --> 00:16:48,489
this representative
government has no actual power.

245
00:16:48,522 --> 00:16:50,624
Furthermore...

246
00:16:50,657 --> 00:16:52,626
it appears that the Senators
have nothing better to do

247
00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:55,796
than hang out with
this divine baby-maker...

248
00:16:55,829 --> 00:16:59,333
since no senatorial
work is being done at all.

249
00:17:01,569 --> 00:17:05,173
To solve this, I offer you...

250
00:17:07,442 --> 00:17:11,213
I offer you the whole package...

251
00:17:11,245 --> 00:17:13,514
cunnilingus and all.

252
00:17:14,581 --> 00:17:15,751
Stop, Julia!

253
00:17:17,652 --> 00:17:18,453
Stop.

254
00:17:19,453 --> 00:17:20,722
This is too much.

255
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:24,726
Lepidus.

256
00:17:24,759 --> 00:17:27,429
Your father will be outraged.

257
00:18:00,962 --> 00:18:04,566
So today, we will be looking
at the Augustan Law Code,

258
00:18:04,598 --> 00:18:07,535
and in particular, updates
since the Pax Augusta

259
00:18:07,569 --> 00:18:08,503
was established,

260
00:18:08,537 --> 00:18:11,173
along with the
Restoration of the Republic.

261
00:18:11,205 --> 00:18:12,174
Okay.

262
00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:13,675
Can everyone flip to page two?

263
00:18:15,342 --> 00:18:15,843
Psst!

264
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,815
Maximilius, what
are you doing here?

265
00:18:20,848 --> 00:18:22,216
Shh.

266
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:23,818
I go to school here.

267
00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:26,187
- What?
- Today, we will be looking at

268
00:18:26,221 --> 00:18:27,189
new laws,

269
00:18:27,222 --> 00:18:30,559
such as the Lex Julia
De Maritanis Ordinibos,

270
00:18:30,591 --> 00:18:33,794
and the Lex Julia De
Adulteriis Coercendis.

271
00:18:33,828 --> 00:18:35,963
- Can anyone tell me...
- You go to school here?

272
00:18:35,996 --> 00:18:37,464
I thought you were
making fun of me for being

273
00:18:37,498 --> 00:18:39,234
a law student government type.

274
00:18:39,267 --> 00:18:41,436
Yeah, I was.

275
00:18:41,469 --> 00:18:43,405
Well, that's my
nighttime persona.

276
00:18:43,437 --> 00:18:45,506
- Your what?
- My nighttime persona.

277
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:47,341
For the uptown clubs
and the art scene.

278
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:49,243
I, like, play music and shit.

279
00:18:49,277 --> 00:18:50,812
Your "nighttime persona."

280
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,349
Lex De Maritandis Ordinibos.

281
00:18:55,383 --> 00:18:57,452
Roman males who do
not marry are to remain

282
00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:00,655
under the financial
guardianship of their fathers.

283
00:19:00,687 --> 00:19:02,957
So this is your daytime persona?

284
00:19:02,991 --> 00:19:04,326
Uh, yeah.

285
00:19:04,358 --> 00:19:05,460
Does everyone have that?

286
00:19:05,492 --> 00:19:07,494
It should be fairly
straight-forward.

287
00:19:07,528 --> 00:19:10,799
This law is clearly intended
to promote marriage and family.

288
00:19:10,831 --> 00:19:12,900
Look, man, it's not that weird.

289
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,502
A lot of poets do it.

290
00:19:15,802 --> 00:19:17,438
- Poets?
- Poets.

291
00:19:17,472 --> 00:19:19,241
You know, the people
that are speakin',

292
00:19:19,273 --> 00:19:20,875
the words that
you're hearin'.

293
00:19:20,907 --> 00:19:22,644
<i>Pow.</i> Poetry!

294
00:19:22,676 --> 00:19:26,481
Okay, next, uh, Lex Julia
De Adulteriis Coercendis.

295
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,649
- What?
- Gentleman in the first row

296
00:19:28,683 --> 00:19:30,419
seems to have something to say.

297
00:19:32,587 --> 00:19:35,290
Or perhaps your neighbor,
the young lady in the glasses,

298
00:19:35,322 --> 00:19:36,424
can assist you.

299
00:19:36,457 --> 00:19:39,261
It's a law recently
enacted to stamp out adultery.

300
00:19:39,293 --> 00:19:41,028
It states that both
offenders will be exiled

301
00:19:41,061 --> 00:19:42,129
to two different islands,

302
00:19:42,163 --> 00:19:44,866
and the adulturous man
will lose half his property.

303
00:19:44,898 --> 00:19:45,899
Very good.

304
00:19:45,933 --> 00:19:48,369
One indiscretion, two islands.

305
00:19:49,404 --> 00:19:50,805
Okay, great, moving on.

306
00:19:50,838 --> 00:19:52,507
Why would Augustus
try to legislate

307
00:19:52,540 --> 00:19:54,276
and govern people's
private lives?

308
00:19:54,309 --> 00:19:55,510
Roman values.

309
00:19:57,944 --> 00:19:59,380
How could you do this?!

310
00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:02,283
My own daughter!

311
00:20:02,317 --> 00:20:04,486
My own bloodline!

312
00:20:04,519 --> 00:20:06,621
Don't you know how hard I am...

313
00:20:06,654 --> 00:20:08,690
trying, trying

314
00:20:08,723 --> 00:20:11,292
to bring Rome back

315
00:20:11,326 --> 00:20:13,295
to its glorious state?

316
00:20:13,328 --> 00:20:16,431
All the people that
I'm trying to satisfy?

317
00:20:18,598 --> 00:20:20,769
To... to encourage

318
00:20:20,801 --> 00:20:22,404
and promote

319
00:20:22,436 --> 00:20:26,573
good values, like
family and marriage?

320
00:20:26,607 --> 00:20:27,576
And now this?

321
00:20:31,945 --> 00:20:34,815
This, holding public revels...

322
00:20:34,848 --> 00:20:36,917
and bartering sexual favors at...

323
00:20:38,418 --> 00:20:39,387
at my...

324
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:42,623
my sanctified podium.

325
00:20:43,624 --> 00:20:44,726
I just figured...

326
00:20:47,462 --> 00:20:48,063
What?

327
00:20:50,365 --> 00:20:51,598
I figured...

328
00:20:51,632 --> 00:20:55,437
since I gave sexual
favors to my husband,

329
00:20:55,470 --> 00:20:56,971
your step-son, Tiberius,

330
00:20:57,003 --> 00:21:00,507
for the advancement
of your career...

331
00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:03,979
surely, I could help out by
offering them to others, too.

332
00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:17,759
It gives me great pleasure
to introduce you to the...

333
00:21:17,791 --> 00:21:19,593
penitentiary juris,

334
00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:22,530
otherwise known as
"the prison of law."

335
00:21:22,562 --> 00:21:23,732
Is there any other kind?

336
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,434
You could almost
hear the daily sentencing

337
00:21:27,467 --> 00:21:28,902
in the background.

338
00:21:28,935 --> 00:21:30,637
Meticulis, 10 years.

339
00:21:30,671 --> 00:21:33,074
Octiganalius, 40 years,
possession of cannabis.

340
00:21:38,413 --> 00:21:40,048
Ovid, are you paying attention?

341
00:21:40,947 --> 00:21:42,550
Yes, yeah, uh...

342
00:21:42,582 --> 00:21:45,519
theft, uh, life for
theft of Herculean statue.

343
00:21:45,552 --> 00:21:46,787
- Statue of Hercules.
- Good.

344
00:21:46,820 --> 00:21:51,559
Tomorrow, we will resume here to
witness an actual working trial.

345
00:21:51,591 --> 00:21:53,895
I see real promise in you all.

346
00:21:55,963 --> 00:21:56,865
Ovid!

347
00:22:01,101 --> 00:22:05,540
<i>♪ Oats, oats and beans
and barley grow ♪</i>

348
00:22:05,572 --> 00:22:08,475
<i>♪ Oats and beans
and barley grow ♪</i>

349
00:22:08,509 --> 00:22:10,812
<i>♪ Nor you or nor I
nor anyone know ♪</i>

350
00:22:10,845 --> 00:22:14,048
<i>♪ How oats and beans
and barley grow ♪</i>

351
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,416
What happened to your friend?

352
00:22:15,450 --> 00:22:17,419
I think he's got
the love bug bad.

353
00:22:17,452 --> 00:22:19,186
He saw a beautiful
girl in the courts today.

354
00:22:19,220 --> 00:22:21,923
Possibly two, I'm
still unclear about it.

355
00:22:21,955 --> 00:22:23,625
I love her.

356
00:22:25,725 --> 00:22:27,962
I love... I love her.

357
00:22:27,994 --> 00:22:32,133
Ah, the, uh, "I see you
and now I'm in love" bug.

358
00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:34,736
No.

359
00:22:34,769 --> 00:22:36,703
Now, I'll never see her again.

360
00:22:38,505 --> 00:22:41,608
Well, listen, if you boys
aren't busy tomorrow night,

361
00:22:41,642 --> 00:22:44,979
I'm doing a poetry
slam at the Olive Tree.

362
00:22:45,011 --> 00:22:47,014
Yeah, totally.

363
00:22:47,048 --> 00:22:49,717
We would love to be
there, wouldn't we, Ovid?

364
00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:51,586
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes, we would.

365
00:22:51,618 --> 00:22:52,587
Yes.

366
00:22:53,954 --> 00:22:55,088
Yeah.

367
00:22:55,121 --> 00:22:57,724
I'll try to make
sure he's sober.

368
00:22:57,758 --> 00:22:59,461
That's probably a good idea.

369
00:22:59,493 --> 00:23:01,762
<i>♪ We've just about got
the city under control now ♪</i>

370
00:23:18,011 --> 00:23:19,880
So in the case
of the Treasury versus

371
00:23:19,914 --> 00:23:21,516
Liviana Romanolus,

372
00:23:21,549 --> 00:23:24,152
will the prosecution
please call its last witness?

373
00:23:24,184 --> 00:23:27,254
The prosecution would like
to call the defendant herself,

374
00:23:27,288 --> 00:23:29,891
Liviana Romanolus.

375
00:23:29,924 --> 00:23:32,059
Will you please
hold the Jupiter statue

376
00:23:32,092 --> 00:23:33,961
and raise your right hand?

377
00:23:35,796 --> 00:23:37,799
Do you, Liviana Romanolus,

378
00:23:37,831 --> 00:23:39,934
swear to tell the
truth, the whole truth,

379
00:23:39,966 --> 00:23:41,001
and nothing but the truth,

380
00:23:41,034 --> 00:23:42,970
so help you gods?

381
00:23:43,003 --> 00:23:43,937
I do.

382
00:23:43,971 --> 00:23:46,007
The prosecution may now start.

383
00:23:47,308 --> 00:23:49,478
You okay, man? Rough night?

384
00:23:49,944 --> 00:23:51,178
Yeah.

385
00:23:51,212 --> 00:23:52,579
Yeah, I'm fine.

386
00:23:52,613 --> 00:23:56,184
So, how much did
you owe the Treasury?

387
00:23:56,216 --> 00:23:58,285
4,000 aureus.

388
00:23:58,319 --> 00:24:01,623
And how much did you pay
back at the end of the year?

389
00:24:03,558 --> 00:24:04,626
Two...

390
00:24:04,658 --> 00:24:07,694
I'm sorry, can you speak
up so everybody can hear?

391
00:24:07,728 --> 00:24:10,098
200 aureus.

392
00:24:11,197 --> 00:24:13,100
200 aureus.

393
00:24:13,134 --> 00:24:16,703
That's... 3,800 aureus less

394
00:24:16,736 --> 00:24:18,171
than you owed.

395
00:24:18,204 --> 00:24:21,175
And did you not sign a contract
that said if you did not

396
00:24:21,207 --> 00:24:23,544
pay back the sum
total of your loan

397
00:24:23,578 --> 00:24:26,180
by the end of
this calendar year,

398
00:24:26,213 --> 00:24:29,951
you would give up all of your
possessions, land, and house?

399
00:24:29,983 --> 00:24:31,019
I did.

400
00:24:31,051 --> 00:24:33,987
The defendant signed a
contract with the Treasury

401
00:24:34,021 --> 00:24:36,124
that if she did not
pay back her loan,

402
00:24:36,156 --> 00:24:38,225
which she did not...

403
00:24:38,259 --> 00:24:40,595
She would have to
give up all of her property.

404
00:24:40,627 --> 00:24:42,896
No further questions
at this time, your honor.

405
00:24:42,930 --> 00:24:45,066
The prosecution rests its case.

406
00:24:45,098 --> 00:24:47,034
Thank you, prosecution.

407
00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:49,237
The defense may
now take the stand.

408
00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:51,039
Yes, Your
Honor, thank you.

409
00:24:52,740 --> 00:24:55,343
Why, Liviana Romanolus,

410
00:24:55,376 --> 00:24:58,812
did you agree to take
the loan to begin with?

411
00:24:58,846 --> 00:25:00,114
I did not.

412
00:25:00,146 --> 00:25:02,116
You did not.

413
00:25:02,148 --> 00:25:03,684
Then who did?

414
00:25:03,717 --> 00:25:04,785
My husband.

415
00:25:05,953 --> 00:25:07,021
Ooh...

416
00:25:07,053 --> 00:25:09,690
The government, in an
effort to encourage farmers,

417
00:25:09,723 --> 00:25:15,629
offered large loans
to buy land and oxen.

418
00:25:15,663 --> 00:25:17,832
At the time, it
seemed like a good idea.

419
00:25:18,765 --> 00:25:20,734
Our land was fertile...

420
00:25:20,768 --> 00:25:23,338
and my husband was healthy.

421
00:25:23,370 --> 00:25:26,040
And then the plagues hit.

422
00:25:26,072 --> 00:25:29,643
And all of our oxen
and cattle were killed.

423
00:25:31,811 --> 00:25:35,950
My husband became ill,
and he eventually died.

424
00:25:38,219 --> 00:25:41,122
I had no way to pay
back the Treasury.

425
00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:47,662
And all of our savings...

426
00:25:47,694 --> 00:25:49,630
had gone to pay
the doctor bills.

427
00:25:52,232 --> 00:25:54,935
And how did your name
end up on the contract?

428
00:25:56,037 --> 00:25:58,940
Roman law states

429
00:25:58,973 --> 00:26:01,175
that when the husband dies,

430
00:26:01,207 --> 00:26:04,778
the wife inherits his wealth

431
00:26:04,811 --> 00:26:06,747
or his debt.

432
00:26:06,780 --> 00:26:08,915
So you were forced...

433
00:26:08,948 --> 00:26:10,751
- to sign the document?
- Yes.

434
00:26:10,784 --> 00:26:12,285
By law, I was.

435
00:26:12,319 --> 00:26:14,187
And what will happen
to you and your daughters

436
00:26:14,221 --> 00:26:16,057
if you lose your property?

437
00:26:17,191 --> 00:26:19,327
We will be forced...

438
00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:20,895
to the streets

439
00:26:20,927 --> 00:26:22,896
to fend for ourselves.

440
00:26:24,231 --> 00:26:26,367
The defense
rests its case.

441
00:26:26,399 --> 00:26:29,936
We just ask that you act
with compassion, Your Honor.

442
00:26:29,970 --> 00:26:34,208
I, of all people, understand
the few recourses that are left

443
00:26:34,241 --> 00:26:36,978
for women of a
certain class in Rome.

444
00:26:37,011 --> 00:26:41,415
However, you do understand
that the law is the law.

445
00:26:41,448 --> 00:26:43,784
Man, you've gotta lay
off the fermented grapes,

446
00:26:43,818 --> 00:26:45,052
you know what I'm sayin'?

447
00:26:45,086 --> 00:26:47,221
You were singing "Oats and Beans
and Barley Grows" last night,

448
00:26:47,253 --> 00:26:48,955
and that song doesn't sound
like it's gonna be around

449
00:26:48,989 --> 00:26:51,358
for another half millennium.

450
00:26:51,392 --> 00:26:53,761
Dude, I'm fine.

451
00:26:53,793 --> 00:26:56,229
I just... I just gotta remember
to drink more water next time.

452
00:26:57,732 --> 00:27:00,434
Court is now in session.

453
00:27:00,467 --> 00:27:02,703
Chief Scholar Gaius,
have you selected a pupil

454
00:27:02,736 --> 00:27:04,104
to read the verdict?

455
00:27:04,137 --> 00:27:06,707
I think Ovid would like to read

456
00:27:06,741 --> 00:27:09,176
because he's been so
attentive during this trial.

457
00:27:10,211 --> 00:27:11,011
Well?

458
00:27:23,022 --> 00:27:24,291
Thank you, Your Honor.

459
00:27:52,919 --> 00:27:53,454
No.

460
00:27:56,290 --> 00:27:57,925
What do you mean "no?"

461
00:27:57,957 --> 00:27:59,359
The verdict is "guilty."

462
00:28:02,061 --> 00:28:04,431
I mean no, I'm
not gonna read it.

463
00:28:04,464 --> 00:28:07,135
Do you realize it is your
duty as a student of law

464
00:28:07,167 --> 00:28:09,904
and government in
the Empire of Rome?

465
00:28:11,238 --> 00:28:13,040
I know.

466
00:28:13,072 --> 00:28:14,208
And I'm not gonna read it.

467
00:28:16,810 --> 00:28:19,780
Do you understand, young man,
that you will not achieve status

468
00:28:19,813 --> 00:28:20,947
as a government official

469
00:28:20,981 --> 00:28:23,151
if you do not comply
with your duties?

470
00:28:30,124 --> 00:28:31,526
Then I'll be a poet.

471
00:28:36,530 --> 00:28:39,166
My dear boy, that
is not practical!

472
00:28:41,100 --> 00:28:42,469
Then it will be practical.

473
00:28:54,848 --> 00:28:56,317
Ovid, are you crazy, man?

474
00:28:56,349 --> 00:28:57,350
A poet?

475
00:28:57,384 --> 00:28:59,086
Have you lost your mind?

476
00:28:59,118 --> 00:29:01,088
I mean, it's one thing
to moonlight, like me,

477
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,090
but to go full-time and
just throw away your whole...

478
00:29:04,124 --> 00:29:06,059
Plus, you were so damn
lucky that judge was

479
00:29:06,092 --> 00:29:07,093
in a good mood today.

480
00:29:07,127 --> 00:29:08,896
You could've been held
in contempt of court!

481
00:29:08,928 --> 00:29:10,964
I'm a personal recruit
of the Emperor Augustus.

482
00:29:10,998 --> 00:29:11,933
They'll never do that to me.

483
00:29:11,965 --> 00:29:13,967
Hey, besides, man, I
hate to bring this up,

484
00:29:14,001 --> 00:29:15,603
but your last name is "nose!"

485
00:29:15,636 --> 00:29:17,437
And I just don't think you
can have a literary career

486
00:29:17,471 --> 00:29:18,271
with the last name "nose."

487
00:29:18,305 --> 00:29:19,473
Okay, I got it.

488
00:29:19,505 --> 00:29:21,242
What are you gonna
do all day, man?

489
00:29:21,274 --> 00:29:23,977
Just sit around and write about
your non-existent love life?

490
00:29:24,011 --> 00:29:25,413
And who ever heard
of a practical poet?

491
00:29:25,445 --> 00:29:28,249
That's like a cold
fire or an uncool Max,

492
00:29:28,281 --> 00:29:29,850
you know what I'm sayin'?

493
00:29:35,289 --> 00:29:36,424
She's just...

494
00:29:45,566 --> 00:29:47,535
What do
you mean by "restless?"

495
00:29:47,568 --> 00:29:50,003
Well, there are
those among the lower class

496
00:29:50,037 --> 00:29:53,641
who are jobless and
lack other resources.

497
00:29:53,674 --> 00:29:56,010
And you say
they're increasingly restless?

498
00:29:56,042 --> 00:29:57,310
Well...

499
00:29:57,345 --> 00:30:00,280
they would at least like to feel
like they're not being ignored.

500
00:30:02,482 --> 00:30:04,519
This drought's not
good for the economy.

501
00:30:05,919 --> 00:30:08,021
- Will they revolt?
- Not yet.

502
00:30:08,055 --> 00:30:10,024
But...

503
00:30:10,057 --> 00:30:14,161
it would be my advice to somehow
start paying attention to them.

504
00:30:14,194 --> 00:30:15,029
Lepidus.

505
00:30:16,030 --> 00:30:16,897
Livia.

506
00:30:17,598 --> 00:30:19,200
Then what do we do now?

507
00:30:21,301 --> 00:30:23,303
I think we need to
provide a distraction.

508
00:30:23,337 --> 00:30:25,338
- A distraction?
- Yes.

509
00:30:25,371 --> 00:30:29,376
We need to remind them
what their country stands for.

510
00:30:29,409 --> 00:30:32,579
The values and building blocks
that make this great Empire

511
00:30:32,613 --> 00:30:34,916
the greatest in the world.

512
00:30:34,948 --> 00:30:38,451
The reasons why countless Roman
legions have gone to their death

513
00:30:38,484 --> 00:30:41,321
to protect us from those
blonde-haired, blue-eyed

514
00:30:41,355 --> 00:30:44,357
barbarians up north.

515
00:30:44,390 --> 00:30:48,061
We need to remind them
of their Roman values.

516
00:30:49,562 --> 00:30:50,964
"Roman values," eh?

517
00:30:52,265 --> 00:30:54,001
You mean "family values."

518
00:30:57,370 --> 00:30:59,706
How am I supposed to do
that when my own daughter

519
00:30:59,740 --> 00:31:02,076
undermines me at every turn?

520
00:31:02,108 --> 00:31:03,276
I told you, Augustus,

521
00:31:03,309 --> 00:31:05,713
she's making you
look like a hypocrite.

522
00:31:05,745 --> 00:31:08,415
You need to rein her in.

523
00:31:08,448 --> 00:31:09,249
Yes.

524
00:31:10,384 --> 00:31:11,319
Thank you, dear.

525
00:31:14,521 --> 00:31:19,092
Well, Your Honor, if I may
be so bold as to suggest...

526
00:31:19,126 --> 00:31:20,227
a scapegoat.

527
00:31:20,260 --> 00:31:21,429
A scapegoat?

528
00:31:21,462 --> 00:31:23,164
A scapegoat.

529
00:31:23,196 --> 00:31:27,734
A public shaming using Julia as
an example of what will happen

530
00:31:27,768 --> 00:31:30,404
if you do not live up
to the moral foundations

531
00:31:30,436 --> 00:31:34,507
that make this Empire great.

532
00:31:34,540 --> 00:31:37,011
You know, of course, this
is my only living daughter.

533
00:31:38,145 --> 00:31:41,049
No matter what her flaws may be.

534
00:31:43,017 --> 00:31:45,053
Everyone loves a common cause.

535
00:31:45,786 --> 00:31:47,555
We may be suffering,

536
00:31:47,588 --> 00:31:49,523
but we have our values.

537
00:31:50,723 --> 00:31:52,425
What say you?

538
00:31:52,459 --> 00:31:55,730
Well, I haven't gathered
the data together yet, but...

539
00:31:57,463 --> 00:32:00,268
I imagine what Lepidus
is saying could be correct.

540
00:32:07,573 --> 00:32:08,408
All right.

541
00:32:08,442 --> 00:32:10,078
An exile, then.

542
00:32:36,569 --> 00:32:38,071
Hey, Max.

543
00:32:38,105 --> 00:32:39,206
Agrippina.

544
00:32:39,239 --> 00:32:40,174
Hey, man, hey.

545
00:32:40,206 --> 00:32:42,742
If you were to go for
a leisurely stroll,

546
00:32:42,776 --> 00:32:44,312
where would you go?

547
00:32:48,482 --> 00:32:50,417
You do realize
the law is the law,

548
00:32:50,451 --> 00:32:52,819
whether you read the
defendant's verdict or not?

549
00:32:52,853 --> 00:32:53,988
Her goose is still cooked.

550
00:32:54,021 --> 00:32:56,057
I mean, she's still going
to lose all her property.

551
00:32:56,089 --> 00:32:58,192
You're just the messenger.

552
00:32:58,224 --> 00:33:00,293
Look, if you... if you were
to go for a leisurely stroll,

553
00:33:00,327 --> 00:33:02,463
where would you go?

554
00:33:02,495 --> 00:33:04,364
Some people go to
school to study.

555
00:33:07,134 --> 00:33:09,470
Fine, I'd go to the games.

556
00:33:09,502 --> 00:33:11,806
I would
go to a Colonite.

557
00:33:11,838 --> 00:33:12,839
Octavia's.

558
00:33:12,873 --> 00:33:14,308
No, maybe Pompeii's.

559
00:33:14,340 --> 00:33:17,210
I mean, there was
this one time I was out

560
00:33:17,243 --> 00:33:19,047
and there was
this man and...

561
00:33:20,481 --> 00:33:22,348
By Jove, I think
we have something.

562
00:33:22,382 --> 00:33:23,551
Who was that man?

563
00:33:24,651 --> 00:33:26,687
I'm just kidding, Agrippina.

564
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,389
Who was that woman, though?

565
00:33:29,522 --> 00:33:31,224
- What woman?
- You know...

566
00:33:31,258 --> 00:33:32,259
the one at the courthouse.

567
00:33:32,291 --> 00:33:33,493
- Oh...
- She was quite beautiful.

568
00:33:33,527 --> 00:33:34,462
Her.

569
00:33:36,230 --> 00:33:36,831
Well?

570
00:33:38,232 --> 00:33:39,232
Well what?

571
00:33:40,166 --> 00:33:41,234
Who is she?

572
00:33:42,536 --> 00:33:44,839
She's my father's
brother-in-law's cousin

573
00:33:44,871 --> 00:33:47,240
twice removed.

574
00:33:47,273 --> 00:33:48,508
Don't even think about it.

575
00:33:48,541 --> 00:33:49,609
She's married.

576
00:33:51,811 --> 00:33:52,679
Married?

577
00:33:53,847 --> 00:33:56,117
Lex Julia De Adulteriis, bro.

578
00:34:21,707 --> 00:34:22,709
Do you come here often?

579
00:34:24,877 --> 00:34:26,247
It's a water fountain.

580
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,515
Yeah, I know.

581
00:34:27,548 --> 00:34:29,183
It's, um...

582
00:34:29,216 --> 00:34:31,886
it's good water, right?

583
00:34:31,919 --> 00:34:32,953
Oh, yeah.

584
00:34:32,986 --> 00:34:35,588
This is what I've always
wanted my entire life:

585
00:34:35,622 --> 00:34:38,559
somebody who likes to
drink water as much as I do.

586
00:34:38,591 --> 00:34:40,693
Yeah, it's... it's relatively
clean though, right?

587
00:34:40,727 --> 00:34:42,562
It's not too acidic.

588
00:34:42,595 --> 00:34:45,198
It hasn't got typhoid or
malaria, not in this one.

589
00:34:45,231 --> 00:34:47,667
Don't you have anything better
to do than try and pick up women

590
00:34:47,700 --> 00:34:50,838
by comparing the pH balance
of public water works?

591
00:34:53,472 --> 00:34:54,207
Chocolate?

592
00:34:56,209 --> 00:34:56,711
No.

593
00:34:58,578 --> 00:35:01,548
Here's a hint for your
future conquests, green boy:

594
00:35:01,582 --> 00:35:02,750
don't use gifts.

595
00:35:02,783 --> 00:35:04,685
I'm either gonna
like you or I'm not.

596
00:35:04,718 --> 00:35:06,386
And secondly, I'm married.

597
00:35:08,254 --> 00:35:10,457
It is an arranged marriage...

598
00:35:10,490 --> 00:35:13,459
but still, extramarital,
federal offense.

599
00:35:13,493 --> 00:35:15,696
And if you do wanna
have an affair?

600
00:35:15,729 --> 00:35:16,964
Use discretion.

601
00:35:16,997 --> 00:35:18,464
Make friends with the maid.

602
00:35:18,497 --> 00:35:19,633
Show-off your strengths.

603
00:35:19,665 --> 00:35:21,202
You like art? Go
to an art museum.

604
00:35:21,234 --> 00:35:23,303
You're strong? Then
show-off your muscles.

605
00:35:23,336 --> 00:35:26,472
But don't use a water fountain
to try to pick up women.

606
00:35:26,506 --> 00:35:28,408
Fuck's sake,
everybody likes water.

607
00:35:35,515 --> 00:35:36,551
Don't I know you?

608
00:35:38,952 --> 00:35:39,886
I don't know.

609
00:35:39,919 --> 00:35:41,754
From the courthouse.

610
00:35:41,787 --> 00:35:43,323
You're the practical poet.

611
00:35:46,359 --> 00:35:47,394
Good luck with that.

612
00:36:32,305 --> 00:36:33,406
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

613
00:36:33,439 --> 00:36:35,408
Thank gods you're here!

614
00:36:35,441 --> 00:36:36,843
I was worried about you, bro.

615
00:36:36,877 --> 00:36:39,380
I was wondering what you
were up to since, you know,

616
00:36:39,412 --> 00:36:41,681
- you dropped out of...
- No, I'm... I'm... I'm fine, man.

617
00:36:41,714 --> 00:36:45,019
I... I... I figured
out some stuff to do.

618
00:36:45,051 --> 00:36:46,919
My dad is pissed, though, man.

619
00:36:46,952 --> 00:36:48,388
He says I'm gonna be a pauper.

620
00:36:48,421 --> 00:36:50,290
Rough, man, rough.

621
00:36:50,323 --> 00:36:51,925
Sorry about your money thing.

622
00:36:52,693 --> 00:36:54,727
But, remember...

623
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,028
night persona

624
00:36:56,062 --> 00:37:00,066
and... and Max don't associate
with no law students, all right?

625
00:37:00,100 --> 00:37:01,269
Okay, come on.

626
00:37:07,473 --> 00:37:09,542
Not the ones that they've
imported from upper Germania.

627
00:37:09,575 --> 00:37:12,578
The local farm-fresh
ones are to die for.

628
00:37:12,611 --> 00:37:13,747
They're amazing.

629
00:37:14,613 --> 00:37:16,449
Max! Hey!

630
00:37:16,482 --> 00:37:17,417
You made it!

631
00:37:17,450 --> 00:37:18,452
Thank you for coming.

632
00:37:18,484 --> 00:37:18,986
Of course, Chlo.

633
00:37:19,019 --> 00:37:20,087
You know we dig you.

634
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:21,855
Ovid, you came too.

635
00:37:21,888 --> 00:37:23,490
It's good to see you.

636
00:37:23,522 --> 00:37:26,327
I heard you're determined
to become a practical poet.

637
00:37:26,359 --> 00:37:28,695
Oh, yeah, that was...

638
00:37:28,729 --> 00:37:31,631
was... was pretty
stupid.

639
00:37:31,664 --> 00:37:33,599
Not that poetry's s... st... I...

640
00:37:33,633 --> 00:37:35,035
I financially ruined my life.

641
00:37:36,470 --> 00:37:37,471
Anyway...

642
00:37:37,504 --> 00:37:38,872
yeah, it was pr... it was
pretty fuckin' stupid.

643
00:37:38,905 --> 00:37:41,607
He's j...

644
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:43,543
Oh, uh, that's my set.

645
00:37:44,778 --> 00:37:47,348
Well, if you like what you see,

646
00:37:47,381 --> 00:37:48,348
you should try it.

647
00:37:49,915 --> 00:37:50,751
Don't...

648
00:37:54,921 --> 00:37:57,325
Be cool! Try and be cool!

649
00:38:18,044 --> 00:38:19,546
Yo, ma'am! Hi.

650
00:38:19,578 --> 00:38:20,446
Can I help you?

651
00:38:20,479 --> 00:38:22,548
Uh, your mistress
is Corinna, correct?

652
00:38:22,582 --> 00:38:24,818
Is that any of your business?

653
00:38:24,850 --> 00:38:27,086
When is it easiest to
find Corinna by herself?

654
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,789
Why do you need to know?

655
00:38:28,821 --> 00:38:30,590
Then she is Corinna.

656
00:38:30,624 --> 00:38:31,892
Can I help you with
your load, then?

657
00:38:31,925 --> 00:38:33,026
- Oh...
- Just...

658
00:38:39,064 --> 00:38:40,666
Oh, my, Fabia.

659
00:38:40,700 --> 00:38:42,903
I see you found
yourself a lover.

660
00:38:42,935 --> 00:38:43,604
Well, good for you, Fabia.

661
00:38:43,636 --> 00:38:45,171
I always knew you had it in you.

662
00:38:45,205 --> 00:38:46,540
But really, here in the sheets.

663
00:38:46,573 --> 00:38:48,809
- No.
- There must have been a more

664
00:38:48,841 --> 00:38:50,443
- romantic spot.
- This isn't what it seems.

665
00:38:50,477 --> 00:38:52,078
- I'm sure it isn't.
- No.

666
00:38:52,111 --> 00:38:53,247
I came here for you.

667
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,682
I saw you in the court and
I was struck by your beauty.

668
00:38:55,714 --> 00:38:56,983
I'm sure you did, dear.

669
00:38:57,017 --> 00:38:58,685
I know men can be
promiscuous these days,

670
00:38:58,718 --> 00:39:00,821
but really, two
in one afternoon?

671
00:39:02,722 --> 00:39:03,557
Fabia...

672
00:39:07,493 --> 00:39:09,829
Well, the whole reason for
buying a local Estruscan

673
00:39:09,863 --> 00:39:11,964
is so that
you can save the horseshoes

674
00:39:11,997 --> 00:39:14,834
necessary for
transporting imported food

675
00:39:14,868 --> 00:39:18,672
so we can divert the iron
resources for other projects.

676
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:23,209
Oh, my gods.

677
00:39:23,243 --> 00:39:24,044
Look who's back.

678
00:39:24,077 --> 00:39:25,611
What up,
yo, Olive Tree?

679
00:39:25,644 --> 00:39:26,545
What up, yo?

680
00:39:26,580 --> 00:39:28,215
I said
what up, yo, Olive Tree?

681
00:39:28,247 --> 00:39:29,883
What up, yo?

682
00:39:29,915 --> 00:39:31,751
- What a night, huh?
- Yes, sir!

683
00:39:31,785 --> 00:39:33,020
- Some night, huh?
- Yeah!

684
00:39:33,053 --> 00:39:34,521
We talked society,

685
00:39:34,553 --> 00:39:36,689
- we slammed, as usual.
- Yeah.

686
00:39:36,722 --> 00:39:39,125
And we just heard a war poem

687
00:39:39,158 --> 00:39:42,028
from one of our
national heroes, huh?

688
00:39:42,062 --> 00:39:43,697
Yeah, you can give
it up for Virgil!

689
00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:49,736
I guess that is why
we dominate the world.

690
00:39:50,836 --> 00:39:53,039
From the roots to the
truth, this is what we do!

691
00:39:53,073 --> 00:39:55,042
Ladies and locusts,
Senators and soldiers,

692
00:39:55,075 --> 00:39:56,910
- follow me to the Olive Tree.
- Yes!

693
00:39:56,943 --> 00:39:59,613
Our poetry,
poignant, powerful, honest.

694
00:39:59,646 --> 00:40:01,013
And now...

695
00:40:01,046 --> 00:40:04,251
now, the hour is upon us.

696
00:40:04,283 --> 00:40:07,186
Let us open up the floor to new
voices we've not heard before,

697
00:40:07,220 --> 00:40:07,988
- huh?
- Yeah!

698
00:40:08,021 --> 00:40:11,158
Might we have a
neophyte tonight?

699
00:40:11,191 --> 00:40:12,926
Anyone, any two,
it's all up to you.

700
00:40:12,959 --> 00:40:14,127
Even if you've
never read before

701
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,897
now is your time to shine,
because you know what we say?

702
00:40:17,930 --> 00:40:19,131
Seize the day!

703
00:40:19,164 --> 00:40:20,867
You
know what we say?

704
00:40:20,901 --> 00:40:22,002
Seize the day!

705
00:40:22,035 --> 00:40:23,036
One more time!

706
00:40:23,068 --> 00:40:23,836
Seize the day!

707
00:40:23,870 --> 00:40:26,607
Let's seize the day!

708
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,876
Any brave souls among us?

709
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:35,948
Ah!

710
00:40:35,982 --> 00:40:40,019
Now, there's a man whose hand
I've not seen raised before.

711
00:40:40,053 --> 00:40:41,955
Why don't you come
up here, young blood?

712
00:40:47,060 --> 00:40:51,031
Not yet, you've got to earn that
at the Olive Tree.

713
00:40:51,064 --> 00:40:52,799
- What's your name?
- Ovid.

714
00:40:52,832 --> 00:40:54,801
- I can't hear you, please.
- Ovid.

715
00:40:54,834 --> 00:40:56,036
- O... O... Ovid?
- Ovid.

716
00:40:56,068 --> 00:40:56,936
- Ovid.
- Ovid.

717
00:40:56,970 --> 00:40:59,039
Ovid.

718
00:40:59,071 --> 00:41:01,175
Okay, Ovid, the stage is yours.

719
00:41:11,818 --> 00:41:12,620
Uh...

720
00:41:14,287 --> 00:41:16,122
The... the poem is about love...

721
00:41:17,591 --> 00:41:19,560
and it's called "Amores."

722
00:41:19,593 --> 00:41:20,661
"Amores?"

723
00:41:20,693 --> 00:41:22,828
"The object of love?"

724
00:41:22,861 --> 00:41:25,999
W... well, it also
means "lovers."

725
00:41:26,031 --> 00:41:27,334
"The object
of love?"

726
00:41:27,367 --> 00:41:30,102
Sounds like a love poem from
a lover who ain't gettin' any.

727
00:41:44,751 --> 00:41:45,752
"Amores."

728
00:41:46,620 --> 00:41:48,622
"Lovers."

729
00:41:48,655 --> 00:41:52,959
It was sultry and... and the day
had driven out the middle hour.

730
00:41:52,993 --> 00:41:55,729
Look, Corinna comes
veiled in an unbelted tunic

731
00:41:55,761 --> 00:41:58,097
with her parted hair
covering her fair neck.

732
00:41:58,131 --> 00:42:00,367
How flat her stomach,
how youthful her thigh.

733
00:42:00,399 --> 00:42:04,104
Why do I need to
report on every feature?

734
00:42:04,136 --> 00:42:06,006
I s... I saw nothing
not to... to...

735
00:42:06,039 --> 00:42:08,374
I saw nothing not to praise
and I pressed her naked body

736
00:42:08,408 --> 00:42:09,743
right up to mine.

737
00:42:09,776 --> 00:42:13,614
Uh, yup, clearly another
lover who wasn't gettin' any!

738
00:42:13,647 --> 00:42:15,182
Does it help you to masturbate

739
00:42:15,214 --> 00:42:17,651
to dream these
scenarios?

740
00:42:20,653 --> 00:42:22,021
Totally lame.

741
00:42:22,055 --> 00:42:24,959
He just realized it!

742
00:42:27,794 --> 00:42:31,131
Get your lame ass off
the stage.

743
00:42:32,966 --> 00:42:34,935
- Oh... oh, come on, Ovid.
- He 'bout to cry!

744
00:42:34,968 --> 00:42:36,303
- Ovid!
- He 'bout to cr...

745
00:42:36,336 --> 00:42:38,004
Come on, Ovid!

746
00:42:38,037 --> 00:42:41,240
Is this cat a poet
or a pervert?

747
00:42:41,274 --> 00:42:42,876
Hey, that's your fourth
one this week, baby.

748
00:42:42,908 --> 00:42:43,910
No, fifth, shit.

749
00:42:47,379 --> 00:42:48,615
So...

750
00:42:48,647 --> 00:42:52,285
you completed one year at the
Academy of Law and Government

751
00:42:52,318 --> 00:42:53,720
and yous dropped out.

752
00:42:54,988 --> 00:42:58,058
Yes, that... that's correct.

753
00:42:58,091 --> 00:43:01,928
But you were an Augustan recruit
from the Emperor's office?

754
00:43:01,961 --> 00:43:03,930
Yeah, I'm from small-town Rome.

755
00:43:03,963 --> 00:43:05,999
Equestrian class.

756
00:43:06,031 --> 00:43:09,035
And you did say that
you completed one year

757
00:43:09,068 --> 00:43:10,069
at the Academy.

758
00:43:10,102 --> 00:43:11,238
A year and some, in fact.

759
00:43:13,839 --> 00:43:14,941
Well...

760
00:43:14,973 --> 00:43:17,044
I guess we could find you a job.

761
00:43:17,077 --> 00:43:20,914
I do know we have a sentencing
position opening up, um...

762
00:43:22,347 --> 00:43:24,082
Yes, here it is.

763
00:43:24,084 --> 00:43:26,086
"A full-time paid position,

764
00:43:26,118 --> 00:43:28,387
sentencing of
capital punishments.

765
00:43:28,421 --> 00:43:31,957
Employee must read out
and certify death sentences

766
00:43:31,990 --> 00:43:33,693
to accused criminals.

767
00:43:33,727 --> 00:43:35,729
Bureaucratic experience a must.

768
00:43:35,761 --> 00:43:37,997
Equestrian class preferred."

769
00:43:41,868 --> 00:43:44,438
Well, you'd be good at
sentencing, wouldn't you?

770
00:43:44,470 --> 00:43:46,839
I mean, they cover that
in first year, don't they?

771
00:43:47,874 --> 00:43:49,810
Y... y... yeah.

772
00:43:49,843 --> 00:43:51,078
Yeah, they do.

773
00:44:21,341 --> 00:44:23,343
Fabia,
can you get that?

774
00:44:25,979 --> 00:44:27,013
Fabia!

775
00:44:30,350 --> 00:44:31,251
Coming!

776
00:44:31,285 --> 00:44:33,252
I forgot it's my
maid's afternoon off.

777
00:44:34,187 --> 00:44:35,789
Hello.

778
00:44:35,821 --> 00:44:38,858
Oh my, it's Fabia's lover.

779
00:44:38,892 --> 00:44:40,993
- I'm afraid she's not in today.
- No, Corinna...

780
00:44:41,026 --> 00:44:42,928
I... I'm here for you.

781
00:44:42,961 --> 00:44:44,930
My, you are fickle.

782
00:44:44,964 --> 00:44:47,801
Well, I never did think
Fabia had any taste, so...

783
00:44:47,834 --> 00:44:50,069
May... may we speak
inside for a moment?

784
00:44:50,102 --> 00:44:51,938
That's a bit forward,
don't you think?

785
00:44:55,207 --> 00:44:57,144
I noticed you at the courts.

786
00:44:58,343 --> 00:45:00,012
You watched with such intensity,

787
00:45:00,046 --> 00:45:03,350
as though you suffered
with each passerby...

788
00:45:03,383 --> 00:45:05,051
seeking justice for all.

789
00:45:07,053 --> 00:45:09,156
And your beauty...

790
00:45:09,189 --> 00:45:12,225
your gentle curls falling
over your face as if...

791
00:45:12,258 --> 00:45:13,926
to mask your inner soul.

792
00:45:16,229 --> 00:45:18,799
I'm married, you know.

793
00:45:18,832 --> 00:45:20,801
But since you seek
solace with strangers...

794
00:45:22,602 --> 00:45:23,971
a forced match.

795
00:45:27,506 --> 00:45:30,142
You're not here for Fabia?

796
00:45:30,176 --> 00:45:33,380
I offered to help your maid
and I tripped on the sheets.

797
00:45:33,412 --> 00:45:34,580
You swear you're
not here for Fabia?

798
00:45:34,613 --> 00:45:36,182
I swear.

799
00:45:36,216 --> 00:45:37,184
What do you swear on?

800
00:45:38,618 --> 00:45:39,353
By...

801
00:45:40,953 --> 00:45:42,388
by Jove's mighty lightning bolt.

802
00:45:44,256 --> 00:45:46,225
By your shaking limbs.

803
00:45:46,258 --> 00:45:48,394
By Minerva,

804
00:45:48,428 --> 00:45:50,063
the goddess of wisdom, herself.

805
00:45:55,968 --> 00:45:56,936
Okay, come in.

806
00:46:05,245 --> 00:46:07,848
So, Mr. Ovid "The Nose,"

807
00:46:07,881 --> 00:46:09,016
what do you do?

808
00:46:10,115 --> 00:46:11,017
Well...

809
00:46:11,984 --> 00:46:13,118
I'm a poet.

810
00:46:13,151 --> 00:46:15,454
- A poet?
- I guess.

811
00:46:15,488 --> 00:46:18,558
And how are you going to
make any money with that?

812
00:46:18,591 --> 00:46:20,460
I'm gonna be a practical one.

813
00:46:20,493 --> 00:46:22,095
Practical?

814
00:46:22,127 --> 00:46:25,332
Practical, indeed.

815
00:46:25,365 --> 00:46:27,000
Well, you have to stop
lounging around bedrooms

816
00:46:27,033 --> 00:46:28,301
with married women.

817
00:46:39,111 --> 00:46:41,080
Any luck getting
that wound dressed?

818
00:46:43,115 --> 00:46:44,884
We're in a time of peace.

819
00:46:44,917 --> 00:46:46,653
Veterans don't get benefits.

820
00:46:46,685 --> 00:46:49,488
But what about our
fighting over in Carthage?

821
00:46:49,522 --> 00:46:51,024
Pssh.

822
00:46:51,057 --> 00:46:52,559
That doesn't count.

823
00:46:52,591 --> 00:46:54,493
It's beyond our borders!

824
00:46:55,528 --> 00:46:57,230
Well...

825
00:46:57,263 --> 00:47:00,300
there's trouble a-brewing
in this time of peace.

826
00:47:00,332 --> 00:47:02,167
They say the number
of jobless is growing

827
00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,170
and they have begun
to take to the streets.

828
00:47:05,203 --> 00:47:07,539
I talked to Marcus
down in the Villa Romana?

829
00:47:07,573 --> 00:47:08,975
It's not good.

830
00:47:12,377 --> 00:47:13,613
What are they gonna do?

831
00:47:13,646 --> 00:47:15,147
Occupy a Portico?

832
00:47:15,180 --> 00:47:17,917
Look, everyone
has blades like you.

833
00:47:17,950 --> 00:47:19,318
There could be violence.

834
00:47:21,086 --> 00:47:23,422
No law in this city
bans a sword or dagger.

835
00:47:23,455 --> 00:47:26,059
The Senate shot
that down last year.

836
00:47:27,593 --> 00:47:29,361
Her wanton leaflets?

837
00:47:29,394 --> 00:47:31,931
How can leaflets be wanton?

838
00:47:32,698 --> 00:47:33,901
Wanton...

839
00:47:37,202 --> 00:47:38,338
ringlets?

840
00:47:38,370 --> 00:47:39,972
Her wanton ringlets.

841
00:47:40,006 --> 00:47:40,906
You know, Ovid,

842
00:47:40,941 --> 00:47:43,042
if you really wanna
be a practical poet,

843
00:47:43,075 --> 00:47:45,444
maybe you should stop
trying to seduce women

844
00:47:45,477 --> 00:47:48,347
and write a sensible
farmer's manual, like Virgil.

845
00:47:48,381 --> 00:47:52,152
He tells people when to sow
seeds and when to harvest them.

846
00:47:52,185 --> 00:47:53,553
And he says it all in verse.

847
00:47:58,256 --> 00:47:59,292
Agrippina...

848
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:03,296
you're a genius!

849
00:48:04,397 --> 00:48:06,665
You...

850
00:48:06,698 --> 00:48:07,667
Yes! Yes!

851
00:48:10,535 --> 00:48:12,204
What is he up to now?

852
00:48:17,310 --> 00:48:18,545
Hey.

853
00:48:18,577 --> 00:48:20,612
I gotta get on
the program tonight.

854
00:48:20,646 --> 00:48:21,714
Excuse me...

855
00:48:22,548 --> 00:48:23,582
who are you?

856
00:48:23,615 --> 00:48:27,486
The greatness of Rome
was not built in one day!

857
00:48:27,519 --> 00:48:31,390
And neither shall our
futures be built this way!

858
00:48:31,423 --> 00:48:33,126
Rome number one.

859
00:48:33,158 --> 00:48:36,296
Rome
number one! Rome number one!

860
00:48:40,165 --> 00:48:41,667
Let's put it there for
Virgil, everybody!

861
00:48:41,700 --> 00:48:43,669
Let's put it there for Virgil.

862
00:48:43,702 --> 00:48:45,504
Huh?

863
00:48:45,537 --> 00:48:46,705
You know he's right.

864
00:48:46,738 --> 00:48:48,140
You know he's right!

865
00:48:48,173 --> 00:48:49,141
I know he's ri...

866
00:48:49,175 --> 00:48:50,542
When it comes to
military muscle?

867
00:48:50,575 --> 00:48:53,012
Rome's number one!

868
00:48:53,046 --> 00:48:56,149
- When it comes to culture?
- Rome's number one!

869
00:48:56,182 --> 00:48:58,685
- When it comes to cuisine?
- Rome's number one!

870
00:48:58,718 --> 00:49:00,653
- Art!
- Rome's number one!

871
00:49:00,685 --> 00:49:03,022
- Philosophy!
- Rome's number one!

872
00:49:03,055 --> 00:49:06,193
- The ladies.
- Rome's number one!

873
00:49:07,359 --> 00:49:10,763
Rome is number one, yeah.

874
00:49:10,796 --> 00:49:12,164
All right.

875
00:49:12,198 --> 00:49:13,700
So next up...

876
00:49:15,334 --> 00:49:17,037
another poet that, uh,

877
00:49:17,069 --> 00:49:20,439
I believe some of you
have heard from once before.

878
00:49:20,472 --> 00:49:26,012
Publius... Ovidius...
Naso.

879
00:49:28,448 --> 00:49:30,283
You can give him a little
bit, Olive Tree.

880
00:49:30,316 --> 00:49:33,020
Eh... eh... not too much,
not... not too much.

881
00:49:36,589 --> 00:49:38,425
Ovid has returned.

882
00:49:48,501 --> 00:49:51,303
I was preparing to
tell about weapons...

883
00:49:51,336 --> 00:49:54,473
and violent war
in serious meter...

884
00:49:54,506 --> 00:49:56,309
- when Cupid said...
- Cupid!

885
00:49:56,341 --> 00:49:58,343
The virgin love poet!

886
00:50:01,747 --> 00:50:03,515
Oh, here we go.

887
00:50:03,548 --> 00:50:07,486
When Cupid said,
and laughed...

888
00:50:07,519 --> 00:50:09,855
"Who gave you, cruel boy,

889
00:50:09,888 --> 00:50:12,091
this power over poetry?"

890
00:50:12,124 --> 00:50:14,260
The virgin love poet!

891
00:50:14,292 --> 00:50:19,098
All hail the
virgin love poet!

892
00:50:26,805 --> 00:50:29,141
If you wanted to find a
lover, where would you go?

893
00:50:30,243 --> 00:50:31,744
The virgin love poet.

894
00:50:31,776 --> 00:50:33,245
The virgin love poet!

895
00:50:33,278 --> 00:50:34,380
Where would you go?

896
00:50:35,814 --> 00:50:37,149
Where have you gone?

897
00:50:38,417 --> 00:50:39,819
Ah, shit, um...

898
00:50:41,821 --> 00:50:43,123
That's what I thought.

899
00:50:43,156 --> 00:50:44,391
What about you, sir?

900
00:50:46,292 --> 00:50:48,795
After you found her,
how would you keep her?

901
00:50:48,827 --> 00:50:50,796
How would he keep you, ma'am?

902
00:50:50,830 --> 00:50:53,165
Yeah, how would you keep me?

903
00:50:53,198 --> 00:50:56,435
I... I... I would, uh...
get her jewelry.

904
00:50:56,468 --> 00:50:58,871
Chocolates?

905
00:50:58,905 --> 00:51:00,906
And where would you find her?

906
00:51:00,939 --> 00:51:02,142
Through my mother.

907
00:51:05,877 --> 00:51:10,415
Anyone in this crowd who does
not know the art of love-making,

908
00:51:10,448 --> 00:51:13,485
let him hear my
expertise and gather my...

909
00:51:13,519 --> 00:51:14,687
magic formula.

910
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:16,522
Ooh!

911
00:51:16,555 --> 00:51:18,157
Venus...

912
00:51:18,191 --> 00:51:21,426
has appointed me the
very mastermind of love!

913
00:51:21,459 --> 00:51:24,696
All hail the... virgin...

914
00:51:24,729 --> 00:51:27,833
Pleasure and skill
provoke this work.

915
00:51:27,867 --> 00:51:31,171
Pay attention, I
speak from experience.

916
00:51:32,772 --> 00:51:34,808
Aren't you being a bit racy?

917
00:51:35,740 --> 00:51:37,276
Well...

918
00:51:37,310 --> 00:51:39,179
anyone who hides their
body with long dresses

919
00:51:39,211 --> 00:51:42,614
or wears delicate ribbons
as an emblem of decency...

920
00:51:42,647 --> 00:51:46,586
- leave.
- Ooh!

921
00:51:46,618 --> 00:51:50,557
Rome has so many
luscious beauties.

922
00:51:50,589 --> 00:51:54,193
If you desire youth,
1,000 girls abound.

923
00:51:54,227 --> 00:51:58,731
Or, if you enjoy wiser ladies,
skilled from years of...

924
00:51:58,763 --> 00:52:00,466
- experience...
- Ooh!

925
00:52:00,499 --> 00:52:03,870
They too, believe
me, will be plentiful.

926
00:52:03,903 --> 00:52:06,439
So where do we find
these buxom beauties?

927
00:52:08,506 --> 00:52:11,610
Walk slowly in the
shade to Romans Colinade.

928
00:52:11,644 --> 00:52:16,649
Or the Portico, named after
that vendor Empress Livia.

929
00:52:16,682 --> 00:52:20,553
Empress Livia's or
Pompeii's Portico?

930
00:52:20,586 --> 00:52:22,722
Those are sacred
spots of the Empire.

931
00:52:22,754 --> 00:52:25,925
- That's treasonous.
- Yes, and what if I'm married?

932
00:52:25,957 --> 00:52:29,229
Ah, then the tiered theater
would be most fruitful for you.

933
00:52:29,261 --> 00:52:30,495
There, you can find a lover

934
00:52:30,528 --> 00:52:32,331
who you can have a
one-night-stand with,

935
00:52:32,365 --> 00:52:35,635
or who you can...
play with for a long time.

936
00:52:37,803 --> 00:52:39,705
What if she says no?

937
00:52:39,738 --> 00:52:42,374
Yeah, what if I say no?

938
00:52:42,408 --> 00:52:44,877
Even if she
rejects you, rejoice!

939
00:52:44,910 --> 00:52:48,580
Why be discouraged when there's
pleasure in new delights?

940
00:52:48,613 --> 00:52:51,416
Crops are more
abundant in another's field.

941
00:52:51,450 --> 00:52:54,254
And the neighboring herd...
has richer milk.

942
00:53:00,959 --> 00:53:02,427
That was marvelous.

943
00:53:02,461 --> 00:53:03,963
Simply divine!

944
00:53:03,995 --> 00:53:05,999
Where'd you come up
with an idea like that?

945
00:53:06,031 --> 00:53:07,834
It's terribly naughty.

946
00:53:07,867 --> 00:53:09,935
Ovid the love poet.

947
00:53:09,968 --> 00:53:12,271
You rocked it, man.

948
00:53:12,305 --> 00:53:12,939
- You rocked it.
- Thank you.

949
00:53:12,972 --> 00:53:14,406
Hey, hey, Ovid!

950
00:53:14,439 --> 00:53:15,474
Where can I buy a copy, man?

951
00:53:15,508 --> 00:53:17,010
I gotta get that shit.

952
00:53:17,042 --> 00:53:18,278
For my friend.

953
00:53:19,312 --> 00:53:21,547
You were heretical...

954
00:53:21,580 --> 00:53:23,283
offensive...

955
00:53:23,316 --> 00:53:25,818
a complete chauvanist...

956
00:53:25,850 --> 00:53:28,521
and I loved every moment of it!

957
00:53:28,553 --> 00:53:30,557
Ugh! That was amazing.

958
00:53:32,091 --> 00:53:32,993
Thank you.

959
00:53:53,879 --> 00:53:57,550
Congratulations, sir.

960
00:53:57,582 --> 00:54:01,553
You've rid the land of the
Empire's worst adulterer.

961
00:54:01,586 --> 00:54:02,487
Why, yes.

962
00:54:02,522 --> 00:54:06,793
Perhaps now peace
and stability can ensue.

963
00:54:06,825 --> 00:54:08,727
I struck the right
tone with my speech?

964
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:09,795
Oh, yes.

965
00:54:09,828 --> 00:54:12,464
I thought the parts about
commitment to the values

966
00:54:12,497 --> 00:54:15,001
of the Roman people and
safeguarding the sanctity

967
00:54:15,033 --> 00:54:17,569
of marriage were
particularly good.

968
00:54:17,602 --> 00:54:19,972
Well, you know I've
always believed that

969
00:54:20,004 --> 00:54:23,008
a good moral backbone
will make this nation great.

970
00:54:23,776 --> 00:54:25,877
And...

971
00:54:25,910 --> 00:54:28,947
stability at home means
stability in the world,

972
00:54:28,981 --> 00:54:30,883
doesn't it?

973
00:54:30,915 --> 00:54:34,019
I just hope that Julia the
Younger does not turn out

974
00:54:34,053 --> 00:54:35,555
like her mother.

975
00:54:36,421 --> 00:54:38,523
What was that?

976
00:54:38,557 --> 00:54:41,761
I hope that Julia the
Younger, your granddaughter,

977
00:54:41,794 --> 00:54:44,629
does not turn out
to be like her mother.

978
00:54:44,662 --> 00:54:46,865
And why would you say that?

979
00:54:46,899 --> 00:54:48,667
Haven't we made an
example of her mother,

980
00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:51,503
my only living daughter?

981
00:54:51,537 --> 00:54:54,906
Well, yes, but you know that
most people who've committed

982
00:54:54,939 --> 00:54:56,943
treason have been
sentenced to death.

983
00:54:56,975 --> 00:54:59,511
Having her imprisoned away from
everything she's ever known,

984
00:54:59,544 --> 00:55:01,513
cherished and loved,

985
00:55:01,546 --> 00:55:05,885
showing that not even my...
my only daughter can escape...

986
00:55:07,051 --> 00:55:09,622
when moral codes are violated.

987
00:55:09,655 --> 00:55:13,693
Well, yes, love, my love...

988
00:55:13,725 --> 00:55:15,827
but I have heard things.

989
00:55:15,861 --> 00:55:17,763
Heard things?

990
00:55:17,796 --> 00:55:20,399
Well, yes, things.

991
00:55:21,734 --> 00:55:23,970
Heard what?

992
00:55:24,002 --> 00:55:26,972
Well, that perhaps Julia
the Younger has inherited

993
00:55:27,006 --> 00:55:28,975
some of her mother's traits.

994
00:55:29,008 --> 00:55:33,480
She has been known to carry on
in not the most savory manner.

995
00:55:42,220 --> 00:55:46,525
What a shame she wasn't
born of your blood.

996
00:55:47,993 --> 00:55:51,564
Well, besides...

997
00:55:51,597 --> 00:55:54,934
there's a young poet
of increasing popularity

998
00:55:54,966 --> 00:55:57,470
named... Ovid.

999
00:55:59,104 --> 00:56:02,107
Who's... Ovid?

1000
00:56:04,109 --> 00:56:05,612
Who is Ovid?

1001
00:56:19,091 --> 00:56:20,026
Darling...

1002
00:56:20,059 --> 00:56:23,162
you know I could spend
all day with you...

1003
00:56:23,194 --> 00:56:25,597
but my husband
comes back at four.

1004
00:56:28,167 --> 00:56:30,002
You know you can
come back tomorrow.

1005
00:56:35,508 --> 00:56:36,576
I know.

1006
00:56:40,513 --> 00:56:44,584
The age which is apt for war
is also suitable for love.

1007
00:56:44,617 --> 00:56:47,586
Lovers use the sleep of husbands

1008
00:56:47,620 --> 00:56:50,623
and move their weapons
after the enemies sleep.

1009
00:56:56,794 --> 00:56:58,664
How's
everything with the poetry?

1010
00:57:01,232 --> 00:57:02,234
Good.

1011
00:57:05,771 --> 00:57:06,772
Good.

1012
00:57:09,274 --> 00:57:12,577
Run slowly, horses of the night.

1013
00:57:12,611 --> 00:57:16,915
Why should I be punished
because your husband's feeble?

1014
00:57:16,948 --> 00:57:19,952
Surely, I did not match
you with an aging man.

1015
00:57:45,843 --> 00:57:47,513
Tacitus isn't your husband.

1016
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,050
- Another lover?
- What is that?

1017
00:57:52,984 --> 00:57:56,055
Oh, something of
Fabia's.

1018
00:57:56,088 --> 00:57:57,656
Silly Fabia.

1019
00:57:59,857 --> 00:58:01,760
You and I both
know that's a lie.

1020
00:58:19,611 --> 00:58:23,281
- All lovers are soldiers.
- Mm-hm.

1021
00:58:23,314 --> 00:58:27,218
Believe me, even
Cupid has his own camp.

1022
00:58:27,252 --> 00:58:31,223
Both lover and solider
keep watch all night.

1023
00:58:31,256 --> 00:58:34,594
Those qualities which generals
look for in a brave soldier,

1024
00:58:34,627 --> 00:58:37,196
a beautiful girl seeks too.

1025
00:58:37,229 --> 00:58:40,232
And let your mistress
come and go as she pleases.

1026
00:58:40,265 --> 00:58:43,102
The husbands let this
happen with their wives.

1027
00:58:43,135 --> 00:58:46,705
With soft slumber,
add to the intrigue.

1028
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:02,755
Oh, my God!

1029
00:59:02,787 --> 00:59:06,257
Thank you.

1030
00:59:06,290 --> 00:59:07,993
- Great show!
- Thank you, thanks.

1031
00:59:08,026 --> 00:59:10,862
Thank you, thank you.

1032
00:59:10,896 --> 00:59:12,263
- Yo, hey.
- Great show.

1033
00:59:12,296 --> 00:59:14,300
Thanks. Thank you, thank you.

1034
00:59:18,736 --> 00:59:21,874
Yo! Hey!

1035
00:59:21,906 --> 00:59:23,776
Hey!

1036
00:59:23,809 --> 00:59:26,077
Hey, I... I hear you're doing
really well for yourself.

1037
00:59:26,111 --> 00:59:27,747
- Congrats.
- Things are great.

1038
00:59:27,780 --> 00:59:29,080
Where have you
been at lately?

1039
00:59:29,113 --> 00:59:31,783
- Well, you know, uh...
- Listen, man, I'm in.

1040
00:59:31,816 --> 00:59:32,917
You're gonna love it.

1041
00:59:32,950 --> 00:59:33,818
Nighttime persona's
gonna love it.

1042
00:59:33,852 --> 00:59:35,187
I've... I've got all
these hookups.

1043
00:59:35,220 --> 00:59:37,156
Virgil just gave me a call.

1044
00:59:37,189 --> 00:59:38,324
You gotta come out, man.

1045
00:59:38,356 --> 00:59:40,225
Well, that sounds great, but I...

1046
00:59:40,258 --> 00:59:43,028
I don't... do
that stuff no more.

1047
00:59:44,095 --> 00:59:45,196
What? What do you mean?

1048
00:59:45,231 --> 00:59:48,801
You know, for me, it's
like a balance and, uh...

1049
00:59:48,834 --> 00:59:52,071
daytime persona's
kinda... taking over.

1050
00:59:52,104 --> 00:59:53,673
You know, with me
and Agrippina, it's...

1051
00:59:53,705 --> 00:59:55,341
Wh... Agrippina?

1052
00:59:55,374 --> 00:59:58,711
Hey, Max don't associate
with no law school students.

1053
00:59:58,743 --> 01:00:02,981
Well, she's the smartest
in the class so Max kinda...

1054
01:00:03,015 --> 01:00:04,917
do associate with her

1055
01:00:04,950 --> 01:00:07,819
and it's getting pretty
serious, actually.

1056
01:00:07,852 --> 01:00:09,854
Okay, well, come on, man,
that doesn't mean you...

1057
01:00:09,888 --> 01:00:11,223
you can't still
have a good time.

1058
01:00:11,256 --> 01:00:14,225
Look, man, I have to
be a practical lawyer.

1059
01:00:14,258 --> 01:00:15,359
And...

1060
01:00:15,394 --> 01:00:18,731
well, Agrippina wants to
settle down and start a family,

1061
01:00:18,763 --> 01:00:19,865
and you...

1062
01:00:22,133 --> 01:00:24,803
you may be in real
trouble with the government,

1063
01:00:24,836 --> 01:00:28,073
I mean real danger if you
keep going on like this.

1064
01:00:29,274 --> 01:00:33,713
Uh, hey, man, keep it real.

1065
01:00:33,745 --> 01:00:36,014
- Yeah.
- Hey, you're missing out.

1066
01:00:38,249 --> 01:00:42,387
Hey, you know, Agrippina's the
best lawyer in the business.

1067
01:00:42,421 --> 01:00:43,356
Well...

1068
01:00:44,789 --> 01:00:46,858
since there might be trouble.

1069
01:00:52,531 --> 01:00:56,769
I'm, uh... real happy
for your success...

1070
01:00:56,801 --> 01:00:58,870
- and all.
- Thanks, man.

1071
01:01:19,557 --> 01:01:22,427
So you're Ovid?

1072
01:01:24,463 --> 01:01:26,031
You know, I've always
wanted to go home

1073
01:01:26,064 --> 01:01:28,100
with a man named "Nose?"

1074
01:01:32,838 --> 01:01:35,006
Well, then, perhaps
I'll nuzzle you.

1075
01:01:36,841 --> 01:01:39,110
Distance yourself from crime.

1076
01:01:39,144 --> 01:01:40,846
Be free of murder.

1077
01:01:40,879 --> 01:01:44,951
Trick only girls if
you have sense.

1078
01:01:46,484 --> 01:01:48,187
And cheat cheaters.

1079
01:01:49,287 --> 01:01:51,222
They sink into their own traps.

1080
01:02:00,499 --> 01:02:01,533
Ovid!

1081
01:02:08,073 --> 01:02:09,107
<i>What up,
yo, Olive Tree?</i>

1082
01:02:09,140 --> 01:02:10,376
<i>What up, yo?</i>

1083
01:02:10,408 --> 01:02:11,477
<i>I said what
up, yo, Olive Tree?</i>

1084
01:02:11,510 --> 01:02:12,912
<i>What up, yo?</i>

1085
01:02:12,944 --> 01:02:14,914
All right, look,
you're in for a treat.

1086
01:02:14,946 --> 01:02:17,316
Because this cat coming up
next truly earned his stripes

1087
01:02:17,348 --> 01:02:18,383
up here.

1088
01:02:18,417 --> 01:02:20,953
<i>He is, without question,
our most popular poet.</i>

1089
01:02:20,986 --> 01:02:22,354
<i>Now, look, I don't know
what ladies love more,</i>

1090
01:02:22,386 --> 01:02:24,589
<i>his locks or his lyrics.</i>

1091
01:02:24,622 --> 01:02:25,925
But they love him.

1092
01:02:25,957 --> 01:02:29,861
Reading from his best-selling
book, <i>The Art of Love,</i>

1093
01:02:29,894 --> 01:02:31,196
Ovid the love poet.

1094
01:02:31,229 --> 01:02:33,598
Come on, Ovid!

1095
01:02:33,631 --> 01:02:35,501
- Let's get it, baby!
- What up?

1096
01:02:35,533 --> 01:02:37,502
Let's get it!

1097
01:02:37,535 --> 01:02:38,771
Come on, man.

1098
01:02:38,803 --> 01:02:42,106
These wicked verses, too, are
born of that small-town poet,

1099
01:02:42,140 --> 01:02:45,243
Naso, appointed by naughty love.

1100
01:02:47,578 --> 01:02:49,481
Austere people,
stay at a distance.

1101
01:02:49,513 --> 01:02:51,517
This theater of illicit rhythm
is by no means suitable

1102
01:02:51,550 --> 01:02:53,252
for your tender ear.

1103
01:02:53,285 --> 01:02:54,086
Come on, now.

1104
01:02:54,118 --> 01:02:57,622
To capture your
desire, swear on...

1105
01:02:57,656 --> 01:03:01,260
anything you like.

1106
01:03:02,526 --> 01:03:04,530
Yeah, man, yeah.

1107
01:03:22,914 --> 01:03:24,182
Bring him in.

1108
01:03:58,316 --> 01:03:59,217
Who's there?

1109
01:03:59,952 --> 01:04:01,153
Crispus.

1110
01:04:01,185 --> 01:04:03,155
I am a plebeian.

1111
01:04:03,187 --> 01:04:04,689
What do you want?

1112
01:04:04,722 --> 01:04:06,491
I'm a friend of your mother's.

1113
01:04:06,524 --> 01:04:08,593
- The people...
- How do I know that?

1114
01:04:22,540 --> 01:04:24,376
What do you want?

1115
01:04:24,408 --> 01:04:27,078
There's unrest in the camp.

1116
01:04:27,111 --> 01:04:30,115
People are starving
and out of work.

1117
01:04:30,147 --> 01:04:31,917
There could be violence.

1118
01:04:38,390 --> 01:04:41,993
But what if
you're a prude, Ovid?

1119
01:04:42,026 --> 01:04:43,461
What if you're a prude?

1120
01:04:45,129 --> 01:04:47,665
Again, no long-skirted
respectable ladies

1121
01:04:47,698 --> 01:04:49,334
figure in my fun.

1122
01:04:49,368 --> 01:04:50,670
Yeah!

1123
01:04:51,535 --> 01:04:53,604
What about gifts?

1124
01:04:53,638 --> 01:04:54,806
Don't use them.

1125
01:04:54,839 --> 01:04:58,143
The only gift you give should
be that of your own body.

1126
01:04:58,176 --> 01:04:59,144
Ooh!

1127
01:04:59,176 --> 01:05:01,245
By which, of course, I
mean your wit and charm.

1128
01:05:03,314 --> 01:05:05,517
Oh, look, there seems to be a
beautiful woman waving at me.

1129
01:05:05,550 --> 01:05:08,019
See what I mean about
not needing material gifts?

1130
01:05:09,388 --> 01:05:11,390
What about the women, Ovid?

1131
01:05:11,423 --> 01:05:12,658
What about us?

1132
01:05:12,691 --> 01:05:15,394
What about you?

1133
01:05:15,426 --> 01:05:17,662
I seem to devote a fair
amount of time to you.

1134
01:05:19,664 --> 01:05:22,568
But, I mean, all of
your writing is for men.

1135
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:26,238
How to catch us,
keep us, tame us.

1136
01:05:26,271 --> 01:05:27,705
When do we get ours?

1137
01:05:27,738 --> 01:05:31,409
Do we have no say
in our destinies?

1138
01:05:31,443 --> 01:05:33,678
I guess the lady
does have a point.

1139
01:05:33,711 --> 01:05:36,681
- What is your name?
- Tacita.

1140
01:05:36,714 --> 01:05:39,785
Tacita, would you like
me to finish the poem?

1141
01:05:39,818 --> 01:05:42,088
Yes!

1142
01:05:43,588 --> 01:05:45,290
That would be lovely.

1143
01:05:45,323 --> 01:05:50,295
How great Achilles was
in battle, so I am in love.

1144
01:05:50,327 --> 01:05:52,130
Celebrate me as
a prophet, lads!

1145
01:05:52,164 --> 01:05:53,365
Sing my praises!

1146
01:05:53,397 --> 01:05:57,169
Tell the world that I
have given you weapons!

1147
01:05:57,202 --> 01:05:59,171
Go out and use them

1148
01:05:59,203 --> 01:06:02,173
to conquer!

1149
01:06:02,207 --> 01:06:03,175
Hey, hey, hey.

1150
01:06:03,207 --> 01:06:05,810
Look, over there,
girls now ask for lessons.

1151
01:06:05,843 --> 01:06:06,644
I give over.

1152
01:06:06,678 --> 01:06:08,446
Yours shall be
my instant concern.

1153
01:06:08,479 --> 01:06:10,214
In the
name of His Eminence,

1154
01:06:10,247 --> 01:06:12,082
Emperor Caesar Augustus...

1155
01:06:12,084 --> 01:06:13,486
Freeze.

1156
01:06:15,486 --> 01:06:17,423
Surely, you can't be arresting
me for finally giving advice

1157
01:06:17,455 --> 01:06:18,490
to the ladies.

1158
01:06:18,524 --> 01:06:23,062
You are hereby fined for
contempt of Roman policy.

1159
01:06:23,095 --> 01:06:25,064
Aren't we the center of
the enlightened universe?

1160
01:06:25,097 --> 01:06:27,131
Don't get smart.

1161
01:06:27,164 --> 01:06:29,734
You have the right
to remain silent.

1162
01:06:42,647 --> 01:06:43,649
Geez.

1163
01:06:48,687 --> 01:06:49,455
F......

1164
01:07:06,504 --> 01:07:08,473
Nice stone
collection you got there.

1165
01:07:08,506 --> 01:07:09,374
Thanks.

1166
01:07:11,408 --> 01:07:12,510
Don't I know you?

1167
01:07:12,544 --> 01:07:13,779
How would I know?

1168
01:07:16,515 --> 01:07:18,283
Do you always pick
out special stones

1169
01:07:18,316 --> 01:07:20,118
to desecrate royal property?

1170
01:07:21,919 --> 01:07:23,588
Don't worry, they're soft.

1171
01:07:25,923 --> 01:07:27,658
Be careful.

1172
01:07:27,691 --> 01:07:29,660
You might get us in
trouble with the state.

1173
01:07:31,296 --> 01:07:33,698
Isn't that why we're in here?

1174
01:07:33,731 --> 01:07:35,567
Well, that must be
why you're in here.

1175
01:07:36,834 --> 01:07:38,636
I'm in here for words.

1176
01:07:38,669 --> 01:07:39,872
Words?

1177
01:07:39,905 --> 01:07:40,872
Words.

1178
01:07:43,941 --> 01:07:45,644
So, what, are
you a great writer?

1179
01:07:47,178 --> 01:07:49,214
I'm no Virgil or Homer.

1180
01:07:52,450 --> 01:07:54,919
Then what, Mr. Writer,

1181
01:07:54,952 --> 01:07:58,556
if not an epic national
poem, do you write?

1182
01:07:58,589 --> 01:08:00,191
Sketches.

1183
01:08:00,225 --> 01:08:01,193
Sketches?

1184
01:08:01,859 --> 01:08:03,595
Sketches.

1185
01:08:03,627 --> 01:08:05,164
Trivialities,

1186
01:08:05,196 --> 01:08:06,397
love poems.

1187
01:08:06,432 --> 01:08:09,667
Then why are you here in the
federal gallows of the Emperor?

1188
01:08:09,700 --> 01:08:11,702
I mean, surely, those trite
words couldn't have plagued

1189
01:08:11,736 --> 01:08:14,272
the ear of His Eminence,
Caesar Augustus.

1190
01:08:15,874 --> 01:08:17,842
Well... it wasn't that.

1191
01:08:21,312 --> 01:08:24,315
You've heard of
Augustus' moral reforms?

1192
01:08:24,348 --> 01:08:25,816
How could I not?

1193
01:08:25,850 --> 01:08:27,453
Well, I wrote a book.

1194
01:08:28,919 --> 01:08:31,289
An instruction manual...

1195
01:08:31,323 --> 01:08:33,425
so to speak.

1196
01:08:33,458 --> 01:08:36,495
And... it was on
the art of love.

1197
01:08:38,629 --> 01:08:45,436
Our armies... burning and
pillaging villages out west.

1198
01:08:45,470 --> 01:08:50,441
Our slaves and our farmers
dying of plague and famine.

1199
01:08:50,475 --> 01:08:54,379
But Augustus decides to
reestablish Roman virtues

1200
01:08:54,412 --> 01:08:56,248
and family values.

1201
01:08:59,016 --> 01:09:02,220
I included a section on
how to have a love affair.

1202
01:09:04,388 --> 01:09:05,856
And his daughter,
one Julia the Elder,

1203
01:09:05,890 --> 01:09:07,825
is exiled for philandering.

1204
01:09:10,028 --> 01:09:11,230
So that was you.

1205
01:09:13,265 --> 01:09:14,700
So you have heard of me?

1206
01:09:18,669 --> 01:09:21,373
Who, then, my inquisitive
friend, are you?

1207
01:09:21,405 --> 01:09:25,211
Julia, paging one Julia!

1208
01:09:28,680 --> 01:09:29,815
Well, then.

1209
01:09:31,749 --> 01:09:33,651
I am one Julia the Younger.

1210
01:09:34,285 --> 01:09:35,386
Oh.

1211
01:09:35,419 --> 01:09:37,256
Granddaughter
to my jailer,

1212
01:09:38,690 --> 01:09:42,328
daughter... to the exiled Julia.

1213
01:09:46,064 --> 01:09:48,533
Julia,
one Julia the Younger,

1214
01:09:48,565 --> 01:09:51,403
granddaughter or His
Eminence, Caesar Augustus,

1215
01:09:51,436 --> 01:09:53,939
will you please
report to the gate!

1216
01:09:58,810 --> 01:10:00,980
Family connections aren't
what they used to be.

1217
01:10:19,096 --> 01:10:22,300
That will be 500 aureus.

1218
01:10:22,333 --> 01:10:25,703
Weren't you that
prized Augustan recruit?

1219
01:10:25,736 --> 01:10:27,806
Yeah, yeah, I was.

1220
01:10:27,838 --> 01:10:31,309
You are lucky to get
away with just a fine.

1221
01:10:31,342 --> 01:10:33,711
Someone may have
been looking out for you.

1222
01:10:33,744 --> 01:10:36,448
For treason, you could
be sentenced to death.

1223
01:10:36,480 --> 01:10:37,415
Treason?

1224
01:10:37,882 --> 01:10:38,982
Death?

1225
01:10:39,016 --> 01:10:41,753
Well, you do know what
the charges are, don't you?

1226
01:10:48,059 --> 01:10:49,727
Ovid, darling.

1227
01:10:49,761 --> 01:10:52,431
Ugh, darling Nose,
where have you been?

1228
01:10:52,463 --> 01:10:54,732
Ugh, you
had me so worried.

1229
01:10:54,766 --> 01:10:57,369
You really do need to stop
saying such treasonable things.

1230
01:10:57,401 --> 01:10:58,403
Promoting love
affairs and stuff.

1231
01:10:58,436 --> 01:11:00,805
You're gonna make
Emperor Augustus furious.

1232
01:11:00,838 --> 01:11:02,707
You wouldn't want to
worry me, now, would you?

1233
01:11:02,740 --> 01:11:06,544
Well... should we stop
doing what we're doing?

1234
01:11:06,578 --> 01:11:07,913
What?

1235
01:11:07,945 --> 01:11:09,814
Nobody knows what we're doing.

1236
01:11:13,551 --> 01:11:14,986
What do you know about Juliet?

1237
01:11:15,019 --> 01:11:16,722
Who?

1238
01:11:16,754 --> 01:11:18,757
Julia the Younger,
Augustus' granddaughter.

1239
01:11:18,789 --> 01:11:20,591
- Ugh...
- What do you know about her?

1240
01:11:20,624 --> 01:11:21,693
Ovid, how should I know?

1241
01:11:21,726 --> 01:11:23,662
Would you stop talking
about politics all the time?

1242
01:11:23,695 --> 01:11:26,365
Everybody is so bent out
about politics these days.

1243
01:11:26,397 --> 01:11:27,932
I hear these veterans
are thinking about rioting

1244
01:11:27,966 --> 01:11:31,503
because... something about
lacking food and no benefits.

1245
01:11:31,535 --> 01:11:33,137
But we're in a time of peace
and prosperity right now.

1246
01:11:33,171 --> 01:11:35,640
There's no wars going on.

1247
01:11:35,672 --> 01:11:39,143
So... what do you know
about Julia the Younger?

1248
01:11:40,378 --> 01:11:41,913
I know that she's
connected to some sort of

1249
01:11:41,945 --> 01:11:43,582
political opposition.

1250
01:11:44,848 --> 01:11:46,551
And Augustus knows about this?

1251
01:11:46,583 --> 01:11:49,720
Ovid, how would I know if
Augustus knows about it or not?

1252
01:11:49,753 --> 01:11:51,390
Now, stop being a bore.

1253
01:11:51,422 --> 01:11:52,790
- Come to bed.
- I thought being a bore was

1254
01:11:52,824 --> 01:11:54,793
something you accused
your husband of being.

1255
01:11:54,825 --> 01:11:56,060
Well, it is.

1256
01:11:56,093 --> 01:11:58,829
But I was forced to marry him.

1257
01:11:58,863 --> 01:12:00,632
And with you, it's a choice.

1258
01:12:05,736 --> 01:12:08,140
You know this is
an exilable offense?

1259
01:12:09,207 --> 01:12:10,642
Then exile me.

1260
01:12:30,462 --> 01:12:32,830
Excuse me.

1261
01:12:32,864 --> 01:12:35,434
I'm sorry, but you
can't sleep here.

1262
01:12:35,467 --> 01:12:37,669
And the library
closes in half an hour.

1263
01:12:37,702 --> 01:12:39,437
Budget cuts.

1264
01:12:39,471 --> 01:12:41,940
You'll have to
finish up and hurry up.

1265
01:12:50,781 --> 01:12:54,752
<i>And as I speak, time
flies and the years do pass.</i>

1266
01:13:08,165 --> 01:13:09,534
Psst!

1267
01:13:09,566 --> 01:13:10,468
Julia!

1268
01:13:11,769 --> 01:13:12,870
It's me, Ovid!

1269
01:13:13,770 --> 01:13:14,905
We met...

1270
01:13:14,939 --> 01:13:18,709
We met under not the best
of circumstances years ago.

1271
01:13:18,743 --> 01:13:21,213
By which you mean
federal prison?

1272
01:13:21,245 --> 01:13:23,013
Well, yes, but...
and before that!

1273
01:13:23,047 --> 01:13:23,781
Shh!

1274
01:13:26,751 --> 01:13:29,488
Do you realize how much
trouble we could get into

1275
01:13:29,520 --> 01:13:30,988
if we were seen here together?

1276
01:13:31,021 --> 01:13:32,824
That's a risk
I'm willing to take.

1277
01:13:33,525 --> 01:13:34,526
Why?

1278
01:13:35,693 --> 01:13:37,195
Well...

1279
01:13:37,227 --> 01:13:40,132
I guess I've always seen
something different in you.

1280
01:13:42,534 --> 01:13:46,071
By which you mean I am the
Emperor's granddaughter,

1281
01:13:46,104 --> 01:13:48,272
all of which would grant
you connections beyond

1282
01:13:48,306 --> 01:13:49,774
your wildest dreams.

1283
01:13:49,806 --> 01:13:51,642
Except he wants me dead.

1284
01:13:52,209 --> 01:13:53,011
No.

1285
01:13:53,811 --> 01:13:55,180
Your wit.

1286
01:13:55,212 --> 01:13:57,882
And your intellect.

1287
01:13:57,915 --> 01:14:01,785
And I believe you are involved
in an anti-despotic organization

1288
01:14:01,819 --> 01:14:04,256
in which I may
have some interest.

1289
01:14:04,288 --> 01:14:07,791
I hope this isn't some pickup
technique promoted in your most

1290
01:14:07,824 --> 01:14:10,561
popular and controversial tome.

1291
01:14:10,595 --> 01:14:11,796
I have read it, you know.

1292
01:14:11,829 --> 01:14:14,164
Did you ever know me to advise
picking up a lady by gaining

1293
01:14:14,198 --> 01:14:16,767
access to a top-secret
political organization?

1294
01:14:16,801 --> 01:14:17,936
No,

1295
01:14:17,968 --> 01:14:20,771
but you do realize that this
is a treasonable offense?

1296
01:14:20,805 --> 01:14:21,972
Both our heads are
under surveillance.

1297
01:14:22,006 --> 01:14:24,976
No, no, no no, I have given
up my instructions on love.

1298
01:14:25,008 --> 01:14:26,912
- I've become a clean man!
- Shh!

1299
01:14:33,851 --> 01:14:36,087
No longer challenging authority?

1300
01:14:36,119 --> 01:14:38,088
What do you want with me, then?

1301
01:14:38,122 --> 01:14:40,258
I told you.

1302
01:14:40,290 --> 01:14:42,894
I'm not after love.

1303
01:14:42,927 --> 01:14:45,864
Then you do realize the
depths of danger you'll be

1304
01:14:45,896 --> 01:14:47,698
sinking into.

1305
01:14:47,731 --> 01:14:49,967
My grandfather, for instance,

1306
01:14:50,001 --> 01:14:52,704
saw a general taking notes,

1307
01:14:52,736 --> 01:14:55,006
had him stabbed on the spot,

1308
01:14:55,038 --> 01:14:56,974
thinking him a spy.

1309
01:14:57,007 --> 01:14:58,742
These are tough times,

1310
01:14:58,775 --> 01:15:00,912
and Augustus will
take brutal precautions.

1311
01:15:00,945 --> 01:15:03,114
- Have you read my latest work?
- Are you listening to me?

1312
01:15:03,146 --> 01:15:06,283
- I swear this is not a...
- I have read your manual

1313
01:15:06,316 --> 01:15:07,752
on love, yes.

1314
01:15:07,784 --> 01:15:10,721
No, have you read
my latest work?

1315
01:15:10,754 --> 01:15:12,623
Another triviality.

1316
01:15:12,656 --> 01:15:14,693
It's about old myths.

1317
01:15:14,726 --> 01:15:18,663
Stories of people changing,
beasts becoming men,

1318
01:15:18,695 --> 01:15:20,332
gods becoming beasts.

1319
01:15:21,665 --> 01:15:23,302
Gods becoming beasts?

1320
01:15:24,936 --> 01:15:26,638
That sounds a bit
heretical.

1321
01:15:29,406 --> 01:15:33,145
Meet me at the corner of
Yvlavia at nine tonight.

1322
01:15:41,653 --> 01:15:44,122
So you were able to distribute
the grain to the encampments

1323
01:15:44,154 --> 01:15:44,989
by the Forum?

1324
01:15:45,022 --> 01:15:45,790
Yes, I was.

1325
01:15:45,824 --> 01:15:47,726
And thank you for
those resources.

1326
01:15:47,758 --> 01:15:48,726
Thank you!

1327
01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:51,663
We will be in touch when
the new supplies arrive.

1328
01:15:51,695 --> 01:15:53,265
- 'Til then.
- 'Til then.

1329
01:15:55,833 --> 01:15:56,801
So...

1330
01:15:56,833 --> 01:16:00,738
whom, my sister, have
you brought this time?

1331
01:16:00,771 --> 01:16:02,707
This is the poet Ovid.

1332
01:16:02,739 --> 01:16:04,141
I've heard of you.

1333
01:16:04,175 --> 01:16:05,810
A few people have.

1334
01:16:05,842 --> 01:16:07,345
Modest.

1335
01:16:07,378 --> 01:16:10,782
People seek out your
love poems far and wide.

1336
01:16:10,815 --> 01:16:13,218
We met in prison.

1337
01:16:14,252 --> 01:16:15,687
Ovid...

1338
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:18,056
this is my brother,
Agrippa Postumus.

1339
01:16:18,088 --> 01:16:19,289
Weren't you exiled?

1340
01:16:19,323 --> 01:16:20,925
I was.

1341
01:16:20,958 --> 01:16:23,795
You know, I may have used some,
uh, advice from your book,

1342
01:16:23,828 --> 01:16:25,096
<i>Ars Amatoria,</i>

1343
01:16:25,128 --> 01:16:28,033
to help placate my wife
during our separation.

1344
01:16:29,132 --> 01:16:31,702
Our grandfather had him exiled

1345
01:16:31,735 --> 01:16:34,305
under the pretense that
my brother's bad temper

1346
01:16:34,337 --> 01:16:36,073
could somehow hurt the Empire.

1347
01:16:36,106 --> 01:16:37,975
He was no doubt under
the influence of our

1348
01:16:38,008 --> 01:16:39,677
step-grandmother Livia

1349
01:16:39,711 --> 01:16:41,945
and our step-father Tiberius,

1350
01:16:41,979 --> 01:16:45,050
who have plans to seize
power once Augustus is gone.

1351
01:16:45,083 --> 01:16:47,118
Now, all of this is
top secret, of course.

1352
01:16:47,150 --> 01:16:48,952
Of course.

1353
01:16:48,985 --> 01:16:51,823
So, with a network
of army officials,

1354
01:16:51,855 --> 01:16:54,324
we snuck my brother
back into Rome

1355
01:16:54,357 --> 01:16:56,093
to help us with our activities.

1356
01:16:56,127 --> 01:16:57,796
And...

1357
01:16:57,829 --> 01:17:00,098
what, may I ask,
are your activities?

1358
01:17:01,265 --> 01:17:02,432
Do we trust him?

1359
01:17:02,466 --> 01:17:05,003
He was the one person who
managed to drive Gramps Augustus

1360
01:17:05,035 --> 01:17:06,370
into a rage

1361
01:17:06,404 --> 01:17:08,973
when no one else
could get to him.

1362
01:17:09,006 --> 01:17:12,843
There are some of us, including
our dear mother, who no one has

1363
01:17:12,877 --> 01:17:15,013
heard from in years,

1364
01:17:15,046 --> 01:17:17,981
who believe the Republic
should truly be restored.

1365
01:17:18,015 --> 01:17:20,952
Yeah, instead of whatever
figurehead institution

1366
01:17:20,985 --> 01:17:23,088
we have now under the
guise of Roman values.

1367
01:17:23,120 --> 01:17:26,024
We believe elections and
Senators will more fully

1368
01:17:26,056 --> 01:17:28,158
represent our nation.

1369
01:17:28,191 --> 01:17:30,729
But by taking this position,
you would end your own

1370
01:17:30,762 --> 01:17:32,397
hereditary line.

1371
01:17:33,396 --> 01:17:34,932
Yeah, we know.

1372
01:17:38,235 --> 01:17:40,004
So why are you doing this?

1373
01:17:43,908 --> 01:17:45,444
Would you like to take a walk?

1374
01:18:37,195 --> 01:18:38,196
This way.

1375
01:18:38,229 --> 01:18:39,131
Come on.

1376
01:19:25,376 --> 01:19:26,977
D... do nothing to us!

1377
01:19:27,011 --> 01:19:28,245
We don't want no trouble!

1378
01:19:28,279 --> 01:19:29,848
We are good people.

1379
01:19:29,881 --> 01:19:31,316
I swear.

1380
01:19:31,348 --> 01:19:32,984
- We worked with...
- We're not gonna do anything.

1381
01:19:33,016 --> 01:19:34,084
- For some 20 years...
- No, no, no.

1382
01:19:34,118 --> 01:19:36,521
- Before it shut down.
- We're not the government.

1383
01:19:36,553 --> 01:19:38,388
I swear, we're just
looking for Crispus, okay?

1384
01:19:38,422 --> 01:19:40,425
We're friends... we're friendly.

1385
01:19:41,258 --> 01:19:43,528
Crispus?

1386
01:19:43,561 --> 01:19:46,064
Well, he... he's down
in the main settlement.

1387
01:19:49,165 --> 01:19:51,269
Can you please be
careful of my husband?

1388
01:19:51,302 --> 01:19:53,305
He's... sleeping.

1389
01:20:11,422 --> 01:20:12,424
Polus?

1390
01:20:16,060 --> 01:20:17,863
Where is my man Polus?

1391
01:20:18,962 --> 01:20:19,864
Polus?

1392
01:20:21,198 --> 01:20:22,133
I can't sleep.

1393
01:20:22,165 --> 01:20:23,967
I need Polus.

1394
01:20:24,001 --> 01:20:25,403
I don't know, my love.

1395
01:20:25,436 --> 01:20:26,905
Why don't you come back to bed?

1396
01:20:26,937 --> 01:20:28,172
I... I can't sleep.

1397
01:20:28,204 --> 01:20:31,475
It's unrest over the
grain shortage and...

1398
01:20:31,508 --> 01:20:33,011
Polus!

1399
01:20:33,043 --> 01:20:34,011
Damn it!

1400
01:20:34,044 --> 01:20:35,178
Where are you?

1401
01:20:36,614 --> 01:20:37,649
Polus!

1402
01:20:40,251 --> 01:20:42,119
Polus!

1403
01:20:47,223 --> 01:20:48,693
My Lord...

1404
01:20:48,726 --> 01:20:50,428
I think I've found him.

1405
01:20:57,501 --> 01:20:58,637
Polus?

1406
01:21:03,540 --> 01:21:05,142
Polus?

1407
01:21:08,346 --> 01:21:09,915
Polus!

1408
01:21:11,548 --> 01:21:13,618
This
is not your wife!

1409
01:21:13,650 --> 01:21:14,618
I thought you
were sleeping, sir.

1410
01:21:14,651 --> 01:21:16,087
You thought I was sleeping?

1411
01:21:16,119 --> 01:21:17,988
- Yes, sir.
- Polus...

1412
01:21:19,123 --> 01:21:21,059
this will mean death.

1413
01:21:21,092 --> 01:21:22,493
Oh, s...

1414
01:21:22,525 --> 01:21:24,662
- Surely, you must be kidding.
- Yes, death!

1415
01:21:24,695 --> 01:21:27,365
I cannot and I will not tolerate

1416
01:21:27,397 --> 01:21:30,968
disobedience from even
within my own home.

1417
01:21:31,002 --> 01:21:32,102
Take him!

1418
01:21:32,136 --> 01:21:34,672
Whoa whoa whoa, wait, wait!

1419
01:21:34,704 --> 01:21:36,341
Surely, you must
be kidding, sir.

1420
01:21:36,373 --> 01:21:37,474
Everybody's doing
it these days!

1421
01:21:37,507 --> 01:21:39,577
Senators, officers...

1422
01:21:39,610 --> 01:21:42,647
why, even Ovid,
Roma's most popular poet.

1423
01:21:42,680 --> 01:21:45,249
He's giving advice on
how to have a love affair.

1424
01:21:45,281 --> 01:21:46,284
Yes!

1425
01:21:48,552 --> 01:21:49,620
Take him!

1426
01:21:49,653 --> 01:21:52,522
No, wait, no! No!

1427
01:21:52,556 --> 01:21:53,591
No!

1428
01:21:55,292 --> 01:21:56,328
No!

1429
01:22:46,342 --> 01:22:48,712
It's so nice.

1430
01:22:48,745 --> 01:22:51,216
In this city, there
will always be life.

1431
01:22:55,453 --> 01:22:59,057
So have you been allied
with the encampment for long?

1432
01:22:59,089 --> 01:23:02,726
I try to do what
I can to divert grain.

1433
01:23:02,760 --> 01:23:06,329
What we really need is a
change in governing system.

1434
01:23:06,363 --> 01:23:07,731
I mean, right now,

1435
01:23:07,765 --> 01:23:09,232
all of our money's
filtered through Augustus.

1436
01:23:09,266 --> 01:23:10,334
Fuck grain handouts.

1437
01:23:10,367 --> 01:23:12,302
We want jobs.

1438
01:23:12,336 --> 01:23:14,372
That's right,
fuck grain handouts.

1439
01:23:14,404 --> 01:23:15,773
They want jobs.

1440
01:23:18,809 --> 01:23:20,110
Big project.

1441
01:23:21,645 --> 01:23:23,114
People are organizing.

1442
01:23:24,214 --> 01:23:25,182
But yes.

1443
01:23:29,653 --> 01:23:31,689
- Crispus!
- Julia.

1444
01:23:31,721 --> 01:23:33,356
This is Ovid.

1445
01:23:33,390 --> 01:23:34,459
Ah.

1446
01:23:34,492 --> 01:23:36,260
<i>Ars Armetoria.</i>

1447
01:23:36,293 --> 01:23:38,129
- <i>The Art of Love.</i>
- Yes.

1448
01:23:48,806 --> 01:23:51,176
So, you're viewing
our encampment.

1449
01:23:53,843 --> 01:23:55,446
Uemployment's bad.

1450
01:23:56,379 --> 01:23:57,481
I understand that.

1451
01:24:19,302 --> 01:24:21,838
Since soldiers
returned from war,

1452
01:24:21,872 --> 01:24:23,775
came back to close
down the mills.

1453
01:24:27,410 --> 01:24:28,745
Oh my gods.

1454
01:24:31,414 --> 01:24:32,382
Look!

1455
01:24:34,318 --> 01:24:37,888
Such talent.

1456
01:24:37,922 --> 01:24:39,190
Wow.

1457
01:24:42,825 --> 01:24:44,229
Such joy.

1458
01:25:02,479 --> 01:25:04,449
So what have you
been working on lately?

1459
01:25:06,283 --> 01:25:07,352
Old myths.

1460
01:25:08,918 --> 01:25:11,488
Metamorphosis.

1461
01:25:11,521 --> 01:25:14,458
You know, Apollo chasing
Daphne 'til she becomes a tree.

1462
01:25:14,891 --> 01:25:16,593
Wait...

1463
01:25:16,627 --> 01:25:20,664
you wrote the latest version
of Daphne turning into a tree?

1464
01:25:20,698 --> 01:25:21,699
Yes.

1465
01:25:21,731 --> 01:25:23,367
So I'm told.

1466
01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:26,204
What my pen and paper
seem to suggest.

1467
01:25:26,236 --> 01:25:30,207
Wait, so Daphne
and Apollo, that's you?

1468
01:25:30,240 --> 01:25:31,341
We aim to please.

1469
01:25:31,374 --> 01:25:33,476
- It's my latest work.
- Oh my gods.

1470
01:25:33,510 --> 01:25:36,446
So then you wrote that line
that Daphne yells at Apollo?

1471
01:25:36,480 --> 01:25:39,784
"If I cannot be your wife, then
I can certainly be your tree?"

1472
01:25:39,816 --> 01:25:40,850
Oh!

1473
01:25:40,883 --> 01:25:43,620
My gods, I love that line!

1474
01:25:43,654 --> 01:25:45,356
And when she's...

1475
01:25:45,388 --> 01:25:48,292
she's turning into a tree and...

1476
01:25:48,324 --> 01:25:51,761
and she just wants to be
something for him, ugh...

1477
01:25:51,794 --> 01:25:54,998
I mean, I can really
relate to that.

1478
01:25:55,031 --> 01:25:57,267
Ugh, yeah...

1479
01:26:00,803 --> 01:26:02,806
Shall we continue to the tracks?

1480
01:26:39,776 --> 01:26:40,811
Careful.

1481
01:26:42,680 --> 01:26:44,749
That could be a
treasonable offense.

1482
01:26:46,617 --> 01:26:48,019
You're married?

1483
01:26:48,052 --> 01:26:50,955
I told you that the
first time we met.

1484
01:26:50,988 --> 01:26:52,990
To Lucius Aemilius Paullus.

1485
01:26:53,856 --> 01:26:54,757
Yes.

1486
01:26:54,792 --> 01:26:57,462
So you do remember
the first time we met.

1487
01:26:58,561 --> 01:27:00,497
It was long before prison.

1488
01:27:00,530 --> 01:27:01,698
Yes.

1489
01:27:01,731 --> 01:27:03,301
It occurred to me.

1490
01:27:03,333 --> 01:27:05,403
By the water fountain.

1491
01:27:05,436 --> 01:27:06,638
I was rude.

1492
01:27:09,772 --> 01:27:11,876
You set me on my path.

1493
01:27:11,909 --> 01:27:14,812
You know, I used some of what
you told me in my <i>Art of Love.</i>

1494
01:27:16,346 --> 01:27:17,047
Really?

1495
01:27:18,915 --> 01:27:20,318
- Hm.
- What are the chances?

1496
01:27:31,628 --> 01:27:33,597
Well, putting my arm on your
shoulder may be treasonous,

1497
01:27:33,629 --> 01:27:36,700
but perhaps dancing is not?

1498
01:27:36,734 --> 01:27:38,803
No, dancing is not.

1499
01:27:44,807 --> 01:27:46,343
Your Ladyship.

1500
01:28:03,025 --> 01:28:04,961
Do it for your country!

1501
01:28:09,031 --> 01:28:10,334
Do it.

1502
01:29:13,463 --> 01:29:15,031
Do you think
he'd do it to us?

1503
01:29:19,470 --> 01:29:20,704
I don't know.

1504
01:29:22,138 --> 01:29:24,475
He's becoming
increasingly paranoid.

1505
01:29:27,244 --> 01:29:28,679
I heard he m...

1506
01:29:28,712 --> 01:29:30,748
he made his man Polus...

1507
01:29:33,749 --> 01:29:35,785
he forced him...

1508
01:29:35,819 --> 01:29:37,422
to commit suic...

1509
01:29:42,758 --> 01:29:44,462
Tell me a story.

1510
01:29:46,163 --> 01:29:47,732
About what?

1511
01:29:48,832 --> 01:29:50,968
Sh... should we even be talking?

1512
01:29:51,001 --> 01:29:53,537
Just anything, just...

1513
01:29:53,570 --> 01:29:55,106
recount one of your tales.

1514
01:30:03,881 --> 01:30:07,685
Of bodies changed to
various forms I sing.

1515
01:30:10,553 --> 01:30:14,158
Ye gods, from whom
these miracles spring.

1516
01:30:18,695 --> 01:30:21,132
I think Livia and
Tiberius are vengeful.

1517
01:30:21,931 --> 01:30:23,132
What?

1518
01:30:23,167 --> 01:30:28,905
Livia, my step-grandmother,
and Tiberius, my step-father.

1519
01:30:28,939 --> 01:30:30,040
They're vengeful!

1520
01:30:30,908 --> 01:30:32,776
I think...

1521
01:30:32,809 --> 01:30:35,178
they want us dead so
they can accede to power.

1522
01:30:36,680 --> 01:30:37,781
Shh.

1523
01:30:46,155 --> 01:30:47,725
Pyramus...

1524
01:30:48,824 --> 01:30:50,193
and Thisbe...

1525
01:30:51,828 --> 01:30:52,763
one...

1526
01:30:54,698 --> 01:30:56,566
a beautiful young man...

1527
01:30:57,734 --> 01:30:59,770
the other...

1528
01:30:59,802 --> 01:31:04,107
the most preferred of girls
in the Eastern world...

1529
01:31:05,842 --> 01:31:07,979
occupied neighboring houses...

1530
01:31:09,680 --> 01:31:11,682
ruled by an Assyrian queen.

1531
01:31:15,284 --> 01:31:17,220
Their proximity...

1532
01:31:17,253 --> 01:31:18,989
caused their acquaintance...

1533
01:31:20,990 --> 01:31:22,859
and their first steps of love.

1534
01:31:26,128 --> 01:31:27,097
Their love...

1535
01:31:29,132 --> 01:31:30,902
increased in time.

1536
01:31:33,235 --> 01:31:35,839
They would have joined together
in the bonds of marriage...

1537
01:31:41,878 --> 01:31:43,848
but their parents forbid it.

1538
01:31:50,753 --> 01:31:53,056
That's from your poem,
"Metamorphosise."

1539
01:31:57,761 --> 01:31:58,796
Yes.

1540
01:32:09,038 --> 01:32:13,209
Please, forgive the
rough treatment, Julia.

1541
01:32:13,243 --> 01:32:15,312
At least give us
a fair hearing...

1542
01:32:16,178 --> 01:32:17,614
Grandfather.

1543
01:32:33,195 --> 01:32:36,867
Did you not compare
our noble Roman army

1544
01:32:36,900 --> 01:32:38,168
to a lover,

1545
01:32:38,200 --> 01:32:42,006
when I had explicitly
outlawed affair?

1546
01:32:43,039 --> 01:32:44,040
I'm not sure.

1547
01:32:44,074 --> 01:32:46,010
Didn't I recruit you...

1548
01:32:46,043 --> 01:32:48,178
into our government?

1549
01:32:48,211 --> 01:32:52,181
I'm speaking to you,
Publius Ovidius Naso!

1550
01:32:52,214 --> 01:32:52,882
Yes.

1551
01:32:52,915 --> 01:32:56,086
And what have you done for me?

1552
01:32:56,119 --> 01:32:57,688
Do you like witty poetry?

1553
01:32:58,721 --> 01:33:01,425
Need I remind you, Ovid,

1554
01:33:01,458 --> 01:33:03,127
that I am the Emperor?

1555
01:33:05,195 --> 01:33:07,064
Yo, I got you, J.

1556
01:33:07,096 --> 01:33:09,332
I rounded up a bunch
of peeps from my youth.

1557
01:33:09,365 --> 01:33:11,668
- You'll see.
- Thank you, Cornelia.

1558
01:33:11,702 --> 01:33:13,671
From your "Amores:"

1559
01:33:13,704 --> 01:33:18,075
"All lovers are
soldiers, believe me.

1560
01:33:18,107 --> 01:33:21,811
A gallant
soldier besieges cities,

1561
01:33:21,845 --> 01:33:24,815
a lover, his mistress' house.

1562
01:33:24,847 --> 01:33:29,218
One breaks down the gates,
the other, household doors.

1563
01:33:29,252 --> 01:33:33,957
Find them unarmed and
slaughter..." I can't.

1564
01:33:33,989 --> 01:33:37,827
You do realize that
this is our army,

1565
01:33:37,860 --> 01:33:39,997
under gods we trust,

1566
01:33:40,029 --> 01:33:41,698
that you've compared?

1567
01:33:41,731 --> 01:33:44,767
The army that brought
peace back into this land,

1568
01:33:44,801 --> 01:33:47,870
that restored the
Republic that defends us

1569
01:33:47,904 --> 01:33:51,241
against the Anglo-Saxons
and the Gauls...

1570
01:33:51,274 --> 01:33:54,811
and the uncouth barbarians
that ravage our borders!

1571
01:33:54,845 --> 01:33:58,481
I... I do, Your Eminence.

1572
01:33:58,515 --> 01:34:01,718
- I said they were gallant.
- What was that?

1573
01:34:01,752 --> 01:34:04,988
Y... you do remember you're on
trial here for seditious acts?

1574
01:34:05,020 --> 01:34:07,757
In addition to that,
you've likened fornication

1575
01:34:07,790 --> 01:34:09,959
to our very judicial system.

1576
01:34:09,993 --> 01:34:12,396
Cornelia.

1577
01:34:12,428 --> 01:34:14,832
"If sex is equally
pleasing to both partners,

1578
01:34:14,864 --> 01:34:17,100
why should one
sell sex and buy it?

1579
01:34:17,133 --> 01:34:21,270
It is unethical for witnesses
to sell false testimony.

1580
01:34:21,303 --> 01:34:23,006
It is unethical for judges to..."

1581
01:34:23,038 --> 01:34:25,274
If the defense may interject?

1582
01:34:25,307 --> 01:34:29,011
In defense of my client, there
is no actual proof in either

1583
01:34:29,044 --> 01:34:32,382
of those examples that the
defendant was promoting...

1584
01:34:32,414 --> 01:34:36,519
copulation
with a married woman.

1585
01:34:36,552 --> 01:34:40,022
In fact, he seems to be
arguing against prostitution,

1586
01:34:40,056 --> 01:34:42,860
which I do believe
is a Roman value.

1587
01:34:42,892 --> 01:34:45,895
I believe my father-in-law
has no interest

1588
01:34:45,928 --> 01:34:48,030
in the well-being
of prostitutes,

1589
01:34:48,064 --> 01:34:52,168
only in making sure that the
sanctity of marriage is upheld

1590
01:34:52,202 --> 01:34:55,271
and that we're not undermining
any of the institutions

1591
01:34:55,305 --> 01:34:57,173
which make this state great,

1592
01:34:57,207 --> 01:35:00,310
an offense which is worthy
of capital punishment,

1593
01:35:00,342 --> 01:35:02,145
death.

1594
01:35:02,178 --> 01:35:04,248
Ah, yes, here it is.

1595
01:35:04,280 --> 01:35:08,118
"My sexual desires
accommodate all of history.

1596
01:35:08,150 --> 01:35:10,287
The young arouse me,

1597
01:35:10,320 --> 01:35:13,190
those of a later
age... touch me.

1598
01:35:13,222 --> 01:35:15,493
All live in the city.

1599
01:35:16,359 --> 01:35:17,995
I crave them.

1600
01:35:18,928 --> 01:35:19,963
Everyone."

1601
01:35:19,997 --> 01:35:24,534
Can you define the word
"everyone," please, Ovid?

1602
01:35:24,568 --> 01:35:29,071
Wouldn't the word...
"everyone" include married

1603
01:35:29,105 --> 01:35:31,942
as well as unmarried women?

1604
01:35:31,975 --> 01:35:33,209
Well, yes.

1605
01:35:33,243 --> 01:35:35,579
- But...
- Yes, but what?

1606
01:35:35,611 --> 01:35:38,080
I think you've just
admitted to the fact

1607
01:35:38,114 --> 01:35:40,117
that when you have an
interest in sexual relations

1608
01:35:40,150 --> 01:35:41,118
with a woman,

1609
01:35:41,150 --> 01:35:46,088
that they are sometimes,
if not often, married.

1610
01:35:46,122 --> 01:35:48,825
- Well, yes, but...
- But what?

1611
01:35:48,859 --> 01:35:50,494
Your Eminence, the defendant
would like a chance

1612
01:35:50,526 --> 01:35:52,829
to speak if he might?

1613
01:35:52,863 --> 01:35:54,865
Very well.

1614
01:35:54,897 --> 01:35:57,034
This better be good.

1615
01:36:01,137 --> 01:36:04,174
Have any of you read my
latest work, Metamorphosise?

1616
01:36:04,207 --> 01:36:06,543
Perhaps some of
your esteemed family

1617
01:36:06,575 --> 01:36:10,079
might remember the story
of Daphne and Apollo.

1618
01:36:10,113 --> 01:36:12,481
Well, in it, as
some of you remember,

1619
01:36:12,515 --> 01:36:16,485
Apollo chases the beautiful
Daphne through the woods.

1620
01:36:16,519 --> 01:36:20,623
And the virginal nymph, however,
wished nothing to do with him.

1621
01:36:20,656 --> 01:36:26,128
But the god became so
enflamed with desire,

1622
01:36:26,162 --> 01:36:28,999
his heart burned so for her,

1623
01:36:29,031 --> 01:36:33,270
that he chased her and
chased her, over brooks,

1624
01:36:33,302 --> 01:36:36,539
through the woods,
under brambles until...

1625
01:36:38,574 --> 01:36:40,144
her soft skin...

1626
01:36:41,278 --> 01:36:42,879
became bark...

1627
01:36:44,180 --> 01:36:45,348
and her arms...

1628
01:36:47,050 --> 01:36:48,886
branches...

1629
01:36:48,918 --> 01:36:51,020
and her curly locks...

1630
01:36:51,053 --> 01:36:54,091
twisted into dark green foliage.

1631
01:36:55,357 --> 01:36:57,328
She had turned into a tree.

1632
01:36:59,162 --> 01:37:01,198
Now, surely, you don't therefore
assume that I advocate

1633
01:37:01,230 --> 01:37:03,032
turning all women
into hard wood.

1634
01:37:03,065 --> 01:37:04,400
Order!

1635
01:37:04,434 --> 01:37:05,435
Okay.

1636
01:37:05,467 --> 01:37:06,502
Please.

1637
01:37:06,535 --> 01:37:10,573
Have you no respect for
the dignity of this state?

1638
01:37:10,606 --> 01:37:13,542
Apologies for the humor,
Your Divine Eminence.

1639
01:37:13,575 --> 01:37:14,511
But...

1640
01:37:14,543 --> 01:37:16,913
the defendant has given
up on writing poems

1641
01:37:16,946 --> 01:37:19,449
such as <i>Ars Armetoria,
The Art of Love</i>,

1642
01:37:19,481 --> 01:37:22,185
which some people perceive
to be promoting love affairs,

1643
01:37:22,217 --> 01:37:25,922
and have moved on to works
such as <i>Metamorphosise,</i>

1644
01:37:25,955 --> 01:37:28,057
the collection of myths
from around the world,

1645
01:37:28,091 --> 01:37:31,261
and which includes sections
about our national hero,

1646
01:37:31,293 --> 01:37:32,328
- Aeneas.
- How?

1647
01:37:32,361 --> 01:37:36,300
How can you talk
about hard wood,

1648
01:37:36,333 --> 01:37:40,103
when our very nation faces
the gravest of moral crises?

1649
01:37:40,136 --> 01:37:41,238
Grandfather, if
I may interject...

1650
01:37:41,270 --> 01:37:42,338
This is unbelievable.

1651
01:37:42,372 --> 01:37:46,409
Have we no more sanctity
or respect for our leaders?

1652
01:37:46,443 --> 01:37:49,579
Does the blessing of
Jupiter mean nothing?

1653
01:37:49,611 --> 01:37:51,347
Grandfather!

1654
01:37:54,484 --> 01:37:55,552
What is this?

1655
01:37:55,584 --> 01:37:56,953
Lepidus!

1656
01:37:56,986 --> 01:37:59,288
Lepidus, get the guards!

1657
01:37:59,321 --> 01:38:02,191
We cannot have a
mob against us here!

1658
01:38:07,629 --> 01:38:10,100
Grandfather,
if I may speak...

1659
01:38:12,267 --> 01:38:14,671
Now, you do realize
that you are here

1660
01:38:14,704 --> 01:38:18,375
under trial for seditious acts?

1661
01:38:18,408 --> 01:38:21,144
- I don't think...
- You do not think what?

1662
01:38:21,177 --> 01:38:23,614
I don't think you
should execute this man.

1663
01:38:25,015 --> 01:38:25,582
Why?

1664
01:38:25,615 --> 01:38:28,118
What's your interest?

1665
01:38:28,150 --> 01:38:31,988
Have you been fornicating with
him, just like your mother?

1666
01:38:33,155 --> 01:38:35,691
My interest in it is yours.

1667
01:38:35,725 --> 01:38:38,562
Don't let your family
ties sway you, Augustus.

1668
01:38:38,595 --> 01:38:40,664
You know she is her
mother's daughter.

1669
01:38:40,696 --> 01:38:42,132
Grandfather...

1670
01:38:42,164 --> 01:38:43,734
you know about
the growing unrest

1671
01:38:43,766 --> 01:38:45,267
in the encampments
because of

1672
01:38:45,301 --> 01:38:46,669
- the current grain shortage.
- Of course I do.

1673
01:38:46,703 --> 01:38:48,437
Augustus...

1674
01:38:48,471 --> 01:38:50,574
Well, if you wish
to maintain power,

1675
01:38:50,606 --> 01:38:53,409
I do not believe it the
wisest choice in time

1676
01:38:53,443 --> 01:38:57,213
to execute the country's
most popular poet.

1677
01:38:57,247 --> 01:39:00,584
Besides being a favorite
of the people, the Senators,

1678
01:39:00,617 --> 01:39:03,453
on whose support you also rely,

1679
01:39:03,485 --> 01:39:06,155
very much favor this writer.

1680
01:39:06,189 --> 01:39:09,026
And you know the thin line that
you walk with the Senators.

1681
01:39:09,059 --> 01:39:10,293
Augustus!

1682
01:39:14,196 --> 01:39:17,066
Why... why are you
saying these things?

1683
01:39:17,100 --> 01:39:22,606
You know that there is
rumor of your...

1684
01:39:22,638 --> 01:39:25,208
traitorous actions.

1685
01:39:25,240 --> 01:39:27,444
Perhaps...

1686
01:39:27,476 --> 01:39:30,113
I am interested
in your well-being.

1687
01:39:33,850 --> 01:39:35,419
Do you remember...

1688
01:39:35,452 --> 01:39:38,387
that bronze helmet that
you gave to me as a child?

1689
01:39:38,421 --> 01:39:40,757
Your Eminence, if the
second defense may?

1690
01:39:40,789 --> 01:39:42,725
Let her speak.

1691
01:39:42,758 --> 01:39:45,227
You brought it
back from Egypt...

1692
01:39:45,261 --> 01:39:48,098
from your battle
against Mark Antony.

1693
01:39:49,332 --> 01:39:51,668
I still have it.

1694
01:39:59,809 --> 01:40:01,311
Take her away.

1695
01:40:03,812 --> 01:40:05,781
Grandfather!

1696
01:40:05,815 --> 01:40:10,521
I keep it under my bed
in my small, modest room!

1697
01:40:22,832 --> 01:40:24,468
I can't take her anymore.

1698
01:40:27,803 --> 01:40:29,373
This trial is adjourned.

1699
01:40:31,673 --> 01:40:33,542
Bring the prisoners
into the courtyard

1700
01:40:33,575 --> 01:40:35,745
and let them
roam free.

1701
01:40:37,913 --> 01:40:39,882
Death...

1702
01:40:39,915 --> 01:40:43,287
is not an appropriate
punishment for either of them.

1703
01:40:47,556 --> 01:40:49,258
Tiberius...

1704
01:40:49,292 --> 01:40:51,361
It's gonna be okay, bro.

1705
01:40:51,394 --> 01:40:53,864
Daytime and nighttime
persona got your back!

1706
01:40:56,533 --> 01:40:57,301
Hey.

1707
01:41:04,306 --> 01:41:06,242
Well...

1708
01:41:06,275 --> 01:41:07,810
we're off for now.

1709
01:41:07,843 --> 01:41:10,646
We might as well enjoy
our moment of freedom.

1710
01:41:15,752 --> 01:41:17,788
Julia, Your Eminence,

1711
01:41:19,355 --> 01:41:22,459
I cannot thank you enough.

1712
01:41:26,329 --> 01:41:27,931
It's okay.

1713
01:41:27,963 --> 01:41:29,698
You know, um...

1714
01:41:29,731 --> 01:41:31,368
you being there...

1715
01:41:32,735 --> 01:41:35,939
you, uh... allowed
me to show

1716
01:41:35,971 --> 01:41:40,176
that I still care
for my grandfather.

1717
01:41:40,209 --> 01:41:41,145
- So...
- That's right.

1718
01:41:41,177 --> 01:41:43,712
I am, as always, the
hero of the situation.

1719
01:41:45,347 --> 01:41:48,484
Bringing families
together since 10 BCE.

1720
01:41:49,753 --> 01:41:51,955
After all, was I not the one
to advocate turning our divine

1721
01:41:51,988 --> 01:41:54,490
Roman ladies into trees?

1722
01:41:54,524 --> 01:41:56,825
Mm. Yeah.

1723
01:41:56,859 --> 01:41:59,963
An admirable position, really.

1724
01:41:59,995 --> 01:42:03,600
This could solve the fundamental
problems of the Republic.

1725
01:42:05,635 --> 01:42:08,305
Did I say
that too loud?

1726
01:42:12,542 --> 01:42:14,278
What was it like
growing up here?

1727
01:42:15,511 --> 01:42:16,847
I didn't really grow up here.

1728
01:42:18,248 --> 01:42:19,516
No, I want to know.

1729
01:42:19,548 --> 01:42:21,484
Just give me bits.

1730
01:42:21,516 --> 01:42:23,252
Highlights from your childhood.

1731
01:42:24,486 --> 01:42:25,521
Highlights...

1732
01:42:26,655 --> 01:42:27,857
I don't know anything.

1733
01:42:30,760 --> 01:42:33,495
Actually, um...

1734
01:42:33,529 --> 01:42:36,999
when we would
visit with my mother,

1735
01:42:37,033 --> 01:42:41,471
I did go down to
the store room, and...

1736
01:42:41,503 --> 01:42:44,306
my brother and I would play hide
and seek among the barrels.

1737
01:42:49,846 --> 01:42:51,915
I bet we could
go down there now.

1738
01:42:51,948 --> 01:42:53,516
Should we?

1739
01:42:53,548 --> 01:42:54,917
I mean, are we allowed?

1740
01:42:54,950 --> 01:42:56,720
What is he gonna do?

1741
01:42:56,753 --> 01:42:58,822
Hang Rome's favorite
poet just for looking

1742
01:42:58,855 --> 01:43:00,624
at his wine collection?

1743
01:43:03,426 --> 01:43:04,727
Come on.

1744
01:43:29,686 --> 01:43:31,421
So what would you do next?

1745
01:43:31,454 --> 01:43:34,591
If you could write or do
whatever you wanted,

1746
01:43:34,623 --> 01:43:36,325
what would it be?

1747
01:43:36,359 --> 01:43:37,361
Hmm.

1748
01:43:38,761 --> 01:43:40,430
Anything at all.

1749
01:43:40,462 --> 01:43:41,897
Sky's the limit.

1750
01:43:41,931 --> 01:43:44,668
Mount Olympus' dental hygiene.

1751
01:43:44,700 --> 01:43:46,836
- What?
- Yes.

1752
01:43:46,869 --> 01:43:49,439
I would go god by god...

1753
01:43:49,471 --> 01:43:51,707
And I would uncover whether
each god rinses after they eat.

1754
01:43:51,740 --> 01:43:52,742
Mm.

1755
01:43:52,775 --> 01:43:55,545
Picks their teeth and spits.

1756
01:43:55,578 --> 01:43:57,847
I think it'll be an epic really
worthy of any great writer,

1757
01:43:57,879 --> 01:43:59,481
- like Virgil.
- Mm-hm.

1758
01:43:59,515 --> 01:44:02,419
And completely
non-controversial.

1759
01:44:02,452 --> 01:44:03,387
Mm-hm.

1760
01:44:03,419 --> 01:44:06,455
And what, pray tell,
would you do...

1761
01:44:09,391 --> 01:44:10,693
- Grandfather...
- Huh?

1762
01:44:11,593 --> 01:44:12,561
Corinna...

1763
01:44:30,946 --> 01:44:34,351
<i>And that was
the last I ever saw of Julia.</i>

1764
01:44:34,383 --> 01:44:36,886
<i>Augustus exiled her
on the spot.</i>

1765
01:44:36,918 --> 01:44:40,522
<i>The mysterious charge against
Julia the Younger was adultery.</i>

1766
01:44:40,556 --> 01:44:42,892
<i>It was convenient to blame her
for something which her mother</i>

1767
01:44:42,925 --> 01:44:44,761
<i>had already been condemned,</i>

1768
01:44:44,793 --> 01:44:48,064
<i>but I really think Augustus</i>

1769
01:44:48,096 --> 01:44:50,466
<i>Shortly thereafter,
her husband, Paullus,</i>

1770
01:44:50,499 --> 01:44:52,769
<i>was executed for conspiracy.</i>

1771
01:44:52,802 --> 01:44:55,372
<i>I never heard from Julia again.</i>

1772
01:44:55,404 --> 01:44:57,773
<i>Her brother, too, was
murdered shortly after Tiberius</i>

1773
01:44:57,806 --> 01:44:59,742
<i>finally ascended to power.</i>

1774
01:45:07,682 --> 01:45:12,087
<i>make me too much of a martyr,</i>

1775
01:45:12,120 --> 01:45:14,757
<i>Augustus exiled me
on the spot also,</i>

1776
01:45:14,790 --> 01:45:17,060
<i>for</i> Ars Armetoria,

1777
01:45:17,092 --> 01:45:20,629
<i>a poem I had
written years before.</i>

1778
01:45:20,663 --> 01:45:25,435
<i>had grown to love and cherish.</i>

1779
01:46:07,476 --> 01:46:10,078
<i>And I was forced to live with
the uncivilized barbarians</i>

1780
01:46:10,111 --> 01:46:11,181
<i>up north.</i>

1781
01:46:12,714 --> 01:46:14,551
<i>All this for a poem...</i>

1782
01:46:15,150 --> 01:46:16,552
<i>and a mistake.</i>

1783
01:47:18,247 --> 01:47:20,283
<i>The sloping
footpath was travelled</i>

1784
01:47:20,315 --> 01:47:23,252
<i>through the soundless silences.</i>

1785
01:47:23,285 --> 01:47:24,787
<i>Steep,</i>

1786
01:47:24,820 --> 01:47:26,656
<i>hard to see,</i>

1787
01:47:26,689 --> 01:47:28,958
<i>thick with shadowy darkness.</i>

1788
01:47:28,990 --> 01:47:31,194
<i>And now, she slipped backward,</i>

1789
01:47:31,226 --> 01:47:36,031
<i>to capture and be captured.</i>

1790
01:47:36,065 --> 01:47:37,867
<i>Unlucky...</i>

1791
01:47:37,900 --> 01:47:42,038
<i>she grabs nothing
but the retreating air.</i>

1792
01:47:42,070 --> 01:47:45,307
<i>She has not complained
in any respect at all,</i>

1793
01:47:45,341 --> 01:47:47,944
<i>for what could she complain</i>

1794
01:47:47,976 --> 01:47:50,145
<i>except that she had been loved?</i>

