1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:02,301
<i>♪ Can I tell you something ♪</i>

2
00:00:02,334 --> 00:00:04,437
<i>♪ Just between you and me? ♪</i>

3
00:00:05,037 --> 00:00:06,639
<i>♪ When I hear your voice ♪</i>

4
00:00:06,672 --> 00:00:09,209
<i>♪ I know I'm finally free ♪</i>

5
00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:13,680
<i>♪ Every single word is perfect
as it can be ♪</i>

6
00:00:14,447 --> 00:00:18,384
<i>♪ And I need you
here with me... ♪</i>

7
00:00:20,352 --> 00:00:21,487
This is nice.

8
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,355
Mm-hmm.
So nice.

9
00:00:26,392 --> 00:00:27,694
- Sam?
- Mm-hmm?

10
00:00:28,727 --> 00:00:29,729
Do you have a...

11
00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:32,098
Ew. No.

12
00:00:32,398 --> 00:00:33,800
Then what's poking my back?

13
00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:35,434
It's my phone.

14
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:37,136
Relax.

15
00:00:37,169 --> 00:00:38,370
I was like, oh my God,

16
00:00:38,404 --> 00:00:39,781
I hope he's not trying
to get up on this.

17
00:00:39,805 --> 00:00:41,641
Ugh. Gross.

18
00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:43,543
Okay, you don't have
to say it like that, homo.

19
00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:45,378
- It doesn't bite.
- Hey!

20
00:00:45,411 --> 00:00:46,345
We talked about this.

21
00:00:46,378 --> 00:00:47,647
You can't use that word.

22
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:48,781
You say it!

23
00:00:48,814 --> 00:00:49,814
I'm allowed.

24
00:00:50,149 --> 00:00:51,429
You don't gotta be mean
about it.

25
00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:55,121
Okay, swap.
I wanna be little spoon.

26
00:01:01,694 --> 00:01:03,430
So what are you doing
this weekend?

27
00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:06,433
For Valentine's Day?
Nothing.

28
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:08,334
You're not going out with Gary?

29
00:01:08,367 --> 00:01:10,103
Oh my God, no.

30
00:01:10,536 --> 00:01:12,114
That's something a boyfriend/girlfriend
would do.

31
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,406
You know that's not my jam.

32
00:01:13,439 --> 00:01:15,574
You guys have been dating
for, like, three years.

33
00:01:15,608 --> 00:01:17,343
I think you can call him
your boyfriend,

34
00:01:17,376 --> 00:01:18,578
everybody else does.

35
00:01:18,911 --> 00:01:20,580
Are you trying to start a fight?

36
00:01:23,382 --> 00:01:24,750
What about you, Samwich?

37
00:01:24,783 --> 00:01:25,783
You okay?

38
00:01:26,452 --> 00:01:29,422
You mean because this is
my first Valentine's Day

39
00:01:29,455 --> 00:01:30,490
without Malcolm?

40
00:01:31,457 --> 00:01:32,692
It's been a couple months.

41
00:01:32,725 --> 00:01:34,627
You ready to get back
on the horse?

42
00:01:35,260 --> 00:01:37,464
There will be no horses

43
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:40,399
of any kind
in my immediate future.

44
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,902
Which is why I'm so glad
to be getting out of here

45
00:01:43,936 --> 00:01:45,438
for a few days.

46
00:01:45,471 --> 00:01:47,707
Don't have to go to any
of those awful singles parties

47
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,908
and have people give me
those horrible looks

48
00:01:49,942 --> 00:01:52,577
and try to set me up
with guys named Troy

49
00:01:52,611 --> 00:01:54,147
and Devin.

50
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:59,452
I am just so not ready
for that right now.

51
00:02:01,353 --> 00:02:02,731
Wait, what do you mean
you're getting out of here?

52
00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:03,755
Where're you going?

53
00:02:04,423 --> 00:02:06,426
My friends, Kelly and Kris?

54
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:09,395
From high school?
Their engagement party.

55
00:02:09,428 --> 00:02:10,795
We talked about this.

56
00:02:10,829 --> 00:02:12,698
I must've blocked it out.

57
00:02:12,731 --> 00:02:13,866
My God!

58
00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:16,469
You're going all the way home
for an engagement party?

59
00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:18,471
Ugh. You are
a good friend.

60
00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,405
Yes, I am.

61
00:02:23,642 --> 00:02:25,644
Speak of the devils.

62
00:02:26,478 --> 00:02:27,647
Hi!

63
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:28,881
How are you?

64
00:02:28,914 --> 00:02:31,583
How does it feel
to be "affianced"?

65
00:02:31,617 --> 00:02:32,618
Affi-what?

66
00:02:32,651 --> 00:02:34,454
Affianced.
It means engaged.

67
00:02:35,287 --> 00:02:36,589
Oh!

68
00:02:36,622 --> 00:02:38,457
I like that.
Af-financed.

69
00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:39,825
Like, give me my money, husband.

70
00:02:39,858 --> 00:02:40,826
No, I...

71
00:02:40,859 --> 00:02:42,070
- Never mind.
- It feels amazing!

72
00:02:42,094 --> 00:02:43,838
We're so excited that
you're coming home for our party!

73
00:02:43,862 --> 00:02:44,563
Ask him about Harry.

74
00:02:44,596 --> 00:02:45,965
I'm going to, give me a sec.

75
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,465
- Ask me what?
- He's not gonna mind.

76
00:02:47,499 --> 00:02:50,603
So listen, we have
a small favor to ask.

77
00:02:50,636 --> 00:02:52,438
Anything for the bride
and groom.

78
00:02:52,471 --> 00:02:53,606
- Great.
- Oh my God.

79
00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:54,907
Could you...
would you mind

80
00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:56,476
giving Harry a lift?

81
00:02:56,976 --> 00:02:58,478
Harry? Harry who?

82
00:02:59,645 --> 00:03:01,447
Harry... Turpin.

83
00:03:01,947 --> 00:03:03,282
Harry Turpin.

84
00:03:03,315 --> 00:03:04,917
Eh, you don't mean Harry Turpin?

85
00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:06,285
Harry Turpin who hates me?

86
00:03:06,318 --> 00:03:07,587
Harry Turpin who made fun of me

87
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,388
pretty much every day
in high school?

88
00:03:09,421 --> 00:03:10,555
Yeah.

89
00:03:10,589 --> 00:03:11,824
You're not seriously asking me

90
00:03:11,857 --> 00:03:13,359
to spend nine hours
alone in a car

91
00:03:13,392 --> 00:03:14,502
with Harry frickin' Turpin,
are you?

92
00:03:14,526 --> 00:03:16,496
No way!
Say no, Sam.

93
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:17,730
Kinda.

94
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,599
It's just you guys
go to the same school.

95
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,243
And he was supposed to
drive out with his girlfriend,

96
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:22,544
but I guess they broke up
or something.

97
00:03:22,568 --> 00:03:24,503
- Shocking.
- And he doesn't have a car,

98
00:03:24,536 --> 00:03:26,506
so he won't be able
to come, unless...

99
00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:28,975
- I don't know, Kelly.
- Say no.

100
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,543
You know, give it to me.
I'll tell her.

101
00:03:30,576 --> 00:03:32,378
No. Stop it.
Stop. Stop.

102
00:03:32,411 --> 00:03:33,412
We really want him there.

103
00:03:33,445 --> 00:03:35,013
Kris really wants him there.

104
00:03:35,047 --> 00:03:36,315
Please.

105
00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:37,016
Hey.

106
00:03:37,049 --> 00:03:38,317
What's that sound?

107
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:39,350
Where are you?

108
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:40,820
Hell, apparently.

109
00:03:41,687 --> 00:03:43,589
Um, yes, okay.

110
00:03:43,622 --> 00:03:44,724
I will bring Harry.

111
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,659
Oh my God!
Thank you!

112
00:03:46,692 --> 00:03:49,495
Tell him to meet me outside
the Student Union 7 a.m. sharp.

113
00:03:49,528 --> 00:03:51,429
If he is late, I swear to God

114
00:03:51,463 --> 00:03:52,707
- I'm leaving without him.
- He'll be there.

115
00:03:52,731 --> 00:03:54,900
Thank you, Sam.
Thank you, thank you.

116
00:03:54,933 --> 00:03:56,569
- See you Saturday!
- Mm-hmm.

117
00:03:59,905 --> 00:04:01,407
Wow!

118
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,643
You, my friend,
are a medical marvel.

119
00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:07,090
It's a wonder you can stand up
at all without a spine like that.

120
00:04:25,664 --> 00:04:26,664
Oh!

121
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,602
- Everything okay?
- He's not here.

122
00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:30,503
What an asshole.

123
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,013
See, and that's
the thing about Harry.

124
00:04:32,037 --> 00:04:33,705
No concern for anybody else,

125
00:04:33,739 --> 00:04:35,459
just shows up whenever
the hell he wants to.

126
00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:37,743
Ugh. I never should
have agreed to this.

127
00:04:37,776 --> 00:04:39,745
No, you really shouldn't have.

128
00:04:39,778 --> 00:04:41,881
You could always leave.
You'd be perfectly justified.

129
00:04:42,881 --> 00:04:44,582
Fine, I'll give him
till 7:15.

130
00:04:44,616 --> 00:04:45,584
What are you doing?

131
00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:47,429
7:10 in the morning,
what do you think I'm doing?

132
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:48,888
Oh my gosh, did I wake you?

133
00:04:48,921 --> 00:04:50,423
Yeah, but it's fine.
I don't mind.

134
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,791
- I mind.
- Shut up, Gary.

135
00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:52,792
No one cares what you think.

136
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:53,859
Tell him I said hi.

137
00:04:53,892 --> 00:04:55,695
- Gary says hi.
- Hi, Gary.

138
00:04:55,728 --> 00:04:58,097
Okay, sorry I woke you guys.
Go back to bed.

139
00:04:58,130 --> 00:04:59,632
No, no, no, I'll stay on.

140
00:04:59,665 --> 00:05:00,866
Now remember,

141
00:05:00,899 --> 00:05:02,635
if he starts anything,

142
00:05:02,668 --> 00:05:04,770
any, any name-calling
or anything at all,

143
00:05:04,803 --> 00:05:06,772
you just pull over

144
00:05:06,805 --> 00:05:08,508
and tell him,
"Get the hell out."

145
00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:10,476
- Got it.
- Say it.

146
00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:13,313
- What?
- Practice. I wanna hear you.

147
00:05:13,779 --> 00:05:14,781
I'm not gonna...

148
00:05:15,914 --> 00:05:16,983
Fine.
Get the hell out.

149
00:05:17,783 --> 00:05:18,783
You're kidding, right?

150
00:05:19,418 --> 00:05:20,662
What the hell
kinda command is that?

151
00:05:20,686 --> 00:05:23,756
I tell Gary to pick up my ice cream
more forcefully than that.

152
00:05:23,789 --> 00:05:24,990
Again.

153
00:05:25,023 --> 00:05:26,592
Get the hell out!

154
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:28,794
Again! From those
underused balls of yours!

155
00:05:28,827 --> 00:05:30,004
Get the hell out!

156
00:05:30,028 --> 00:05:31,831
Again! Like the lion
that you are!

157
00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:33,599
Get the hell out!

158
00:05:33,932 --> 00:05:35,368
- Sorry.
- <i>Okay, good.</i>

159
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,078
<i>You're gonna be fine,
babe, okay.</i>

160
00:05:37,102 --> 00:05:38,371
<i>Call me if you need me.</i>

161
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,671
I will. Bye.

162
00:05:39,705 --> 00:05:41,065
<i>Mmm.</i>

163
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:49,415
I said 7 a.m.

164
00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:51,784
Sharp. He's not here,
that's not my fault.

165
00:05:53,685 --> 00:05:56,088
And the good news is

166
00:05:56,121 --> 00:05:58,823
I don't have to spend nine hours

167
00:05:58,857 --> 00:05:59,858
in a car with...

168
00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:01,694
Wait, hey, hey, hey,
no, no, no, wait, wait...

169
00:06:01,727 --> 00:06:03,561
Harry Turpin.

170
00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:04,897
Hey! Hey! Yo!

171
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:12,438
Thanks, man.

172
00:06:17,576 --> 00:06:19,578
All right, I know I'm
a few minutes late, but...

173
00:06:19,611 --> 00:06:20,651
- Try 20.
- Not my fault.

174
00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:23,416
See, my roommate made
these killer tacos last night.

175
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:26,552
And this morning I had
to evacuate the building,

176
00:06:26,585 --> 00:06:27,852
if you know what I mean.

177
00:06:27,886 --> 00:06:29,688
And it put me
a little behind sched.

178
00:06:29,721 --> 00:06:31,557
But I made it.

179
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:33,893
We're here, road-trippin' home.

180
00:06:33,926 --> 00:06:35,795
No harm, no foul balls.

181
00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:38,431
Although my balls may be

182
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:40,700
a little foul, 'cause...

183
00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:42,967
I didn't have time
to shower, you get me?

184
00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:45,772
I... get you.

185
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,774
Oh, would you mind making
a quick stop at The Drip?

186
00:06:48,807 --> 00:06:50,051
I'm gonna need
some serious caffeine

187
00:06:50,075 --> 00:06:51,777
if I'm gonna be
good company for you.

188
00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,218
And then she lost her mind

189
00:06:59,251 --> 00:07:02,520
because I forgot
our three-month anniversary!

190
00:07:02,554 --> 00:07:03,756
I mean, is that even a thing?

191
00:07:03,789 --> 00:07:05,791
Like, who remembers shit
like that?

192
00:07:05,824 --> 00:07:07,059
I don't know,

193
00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:08,060
thoughtful people?

194
00:07:08,093 --> 00:07:09,595
Mmm.

195
00:07:09,628 --> 00:07:11,798
Of course you say that,
you never forget anything.

196
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,042
Yo, remember that time
you reminded Mrs. Brown

197
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:15,768
we were supposed
to have a bio quiz?

198
00:07:15,801 --> 00:07:17,770
And everyone got
so pissed at you?

199
00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:20,171
Yeah, I remember.

200
00:07:20,205 --> 00:07:22,907
Because I had studied
like we were supposed to,

201
00:07:22,941 --> 00:07:24,118
and I didn't want
to get behind, you know.

202
00:07:24,142 --> 00:07:27,046
We had those big projects
in English and Social Studies.

203
00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:30,749
Plus, it was the first time that you
called me "Suck-up Sammy,"

204
00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:33,085
so... not something
I'm likely to forget.

205
00:07:33,118 --> 00:07:34,820
Hey, who called you
"Suck-up Sammy"?

206
00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:36,255
You.

207
00:07:36,288 --> 00:07:37,857
- Me?
- Yeah.

208
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:39,592
- No.
- Yeah.

209
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:40,593
No way, man.

210
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,027
You're saying I made that up?

211
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:43,195
I gave you that nickname?

212
00:07:43,228 --> 00:07:44,230
Mm-hmm.

213
00:07:45,831 --> 00:07:46,966
I don't think so, dude.

214
00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:49,235
Trust me, I remember.

215
00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:51,669
Because after you called me
Suck-up Sammy,

216
00:07:51,703 --> 00:07:53,606
Davey Glick thought
it would be funnier

217
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,241
to call me Suck-up Samantha,

218
00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:57,910
and that's what people called me
for the rest of high school so...

219
00:07:58,277 --> 00:08:00,246
I think I remember
who started it.

220
00:08:01,947 --> 00:08:04,650
All right, I guess.
If you say so.

221
00:08:06,251 --> 00:08:07,253
That's a good one.

222
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,623
You know what?
I'm pretty wiped.

223
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,966
I haven't slept in,
like, three days

224
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,860
because of studying
for mid-term, so...

225
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,729
maybe we have
a little quiet time.

226
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,265
Yeah. Sure thing.

227
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:21,666
Gotcha.

228
00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:25,771
But, I mean,
three-month anniversaries.

229
00:08:25,804 --> 00:08:27,873
Like, who even thinks
about things like that.

230
00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:35,092
And then this other girl,
we go to this nude beach, right.

231
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:38,049
Lotta schlongs,
also a few schlorts.

232
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,986
Anyway, so she says
I'm looking around too much

233
00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:44,123
and that I keep checking other girls out
while she's around

234
00:08:44,155 --> 00:08:46,758
and she just gets
super insecure about that...

235
00:08:47,993 --> 00:08:50,796
So I catch her
going through my phone,

236
00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:52,864
and I finally have
to say enough, I'm out.

237
00:08:52,898 --> 00:08:54,199
Can you believe that, bro?

238
00:08:54,232 --> 00:08:57,269
Can I believe that you drove
multiple women insane

239
00:08:57,302 --> 00:08:59,038
to the point of
a total psychotic break?

240
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,306
Yes. Yes, I can.

241
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:01,707
Oh-kay.

242
00:09:02,274 --> 00:09:04,043
- Ouch...
- So you just move on.

243
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:06,845
As soon as it gets
hard or weird,

244
00:09:06,878 --> 00:09:09,915
before you start to catch feelings,
you just bolt.

245
00:09:09,948 --> 00:09:12,160
Okay, I-I don't know if I'd
put it quite like that, but...

246
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,853
You spent the last three hours
recounting every detail

247
00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:17,323
of your past five relationships,

248
00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:19,358
and the most
amazing thing is that

249
00:09:19,391 --> 00:09:21,026
in every single one of them

250
00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:23,930
you did absolutely
nothing wrong.

251
00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:25,898
And yet,

252
00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:27,800
they all have
the same complaints.

253
00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:30,869
Did it ever occur to you
that maybe, uh,

254
00:09:30,902 --> 00:09:32,371
I don't know, maybe,

255
00:09:32,404 --> 00:09:34,574
you had something to do
with what happened.

256
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,943
You know what?
You're probably right.

257
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,245
I mean, at the very least,
I picked them all.

258
00:09:39,778 --> 00:09:41,113
I must like the drama.

259
00:09:41,847 --> 00:09:44,092
And it's not just the girls, the last guy
I dated was completely nut...

260
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,285
See, that's exactly what I...
Wait, what?

261
00:09:47,886 --> 00:09:48,920
Guy? Wha...

262
00:09:49,454 --> 00:09:51,022
What do you mean, "guy"?

263
00:09:53,358 --> 00:09:55,928
As in not a girl.

264
00:09:58,296 --> 00:09:59,298
I'm pan.

265
00:10:00,265 --> 00:10:01,601
- Pan?
- Hmm.

266
00:10:02,734 --> 00:10:05,304
You're... a pan?
What does that mean?

267
00:10:05,971 --> 00:10:06,971
Pansexual.

268
00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:10,109
I... it means that
I don't have a preference

269
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,653
- in terms of genders or...
- No, no. No.

270
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,079
No, I, I know what it means.

271
00:10:14,112 --> 00:10:16,115
What do you mean you're...

272
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:18,283
Well, I mean, I used
to call myself bi,

273
00:10:18,316 --> 00:10:21,220
but somebody schooled me
that pan is way more inclusive

274
00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:23,689
and also honestly
just more... me.

275
00:10:24,756 --> 00:10:26,834
You know, I'm surprised
you didn't know this already.

276
00:10:26,858 --> 00:10:29,003
My mom practically put it
in the family Christmas letter

277
00:10:29,027 --> 00:10:30,029
the year I came out.

278
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:31,397
But, hey, now that you know,

279
00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:32,964
maybe we could hit up
some of the bars

280
00:10:32,998 --> 00:10:34,700
in Boystown together sometime.

281
00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:36,435
Most of my boys are straight,

282
00:10:36,468 --> 00:10:38,904
so I could use
a good gay wingman.

283
00:10:41,273 --> 00:10:42,308
Dude, you okay?

284
00:10:44,342 --> 00:10:45,342
Dude?

285
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:53,152
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

286
00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:02,995
I guess something called
a tie bar broke,

287
00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:04,338
and they have to get
a part from Hannibal,

288
00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:05,997
so we gotta spend the night.

289
00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:10,135
I'm fine, Dad.

290
00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:11,168
Don't worry.

291
00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:14,073
Um, "How's Harry?"

292
00:11:14,506 --> 00:11:16,709
<i>He's different.</i>

293
00:11:17,809 --> 00:11:19,120
He's changed a lot
since high school.

294
00:11:19,144 --> 00:11:20,713
I got sustenance.

295
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,146
Beer, chips,

296
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,282
and for protein, beef jerky.

297
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:27,053
It was that or cat food, so...

298
00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:28,721
Oh, sorry.

299
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:29,822
Dad, I should go.

300
00:11:30,122 --> 00:11:31,122
All right, I...

301
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:32,925
love you too.

302
00:11:37,195 --> 00:11:38,764
- Beer?
- Oh, oh.

303
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,902
So you really didn't know?

304
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,104
I really did not.

305
00:11:46,404 --> 00:11:48,240
Thought you had me pegged
a long time ago.

306
00:11:49,174 --> 00:11:50,174
Why would I?

307
00:11:51,476 --> 00:11:54,113
I, I know you caught me
staring at you sometimes.

308
00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:56,382
Well, because I thought
you hated me!

309
00:11:57,182 --> 00:11:58,182
Oh!

310
00:11:58,417 --> 00:11:59,785
No. Not at all.

311
00:12:00,485 --> 00:12:02,121
Truth is, I admired you.

312
00:12:03,121 --> 00:12:04,121
I'm sorry. I...

313
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,225
I don't even know how... What?

314
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:07,493
I mean, you were out.

315
00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:09,428
In Liberty, Missouri.

316
00:12:10,362 --> 00:12:12,164
Me, I was just...

317
00:12:12,197 --> 00:12:13,197
too scared.

318
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,767
That's why I made fun of you,
you know that, right?

319
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:18,771
Because I thought
that if anybody

320
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,238
saw me be nice to you, then...

321
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,776
I'd be guilty
by association, and...

322
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,110
Yeah, I was just...

323
00:12:26,945 --> 00:12:28,247
I wasn't ready for that.

324
00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:31,016
But that's no excuse.

325
00:12:31,049 --> 00:12:32,689
I never should have
treated you like that.

326
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:35,888
I mean it, man.
I was a dick.

327
00:12:37,522 --> 00:12:38,891
I really am sorry.

328
00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:46,265
So what's next for you?

329
00:12:47,132 --> 00:12:48,199
After we graduate?

330
00:12:48,233 --> 00:12:51,170
Well, I was thinking about
going to grad school, but...

331
00:12:52,137 --> 00:12:54,339
I don't know, I think that
I need to just get out there

332
00:12:54,372 --> 00:12:57,108
get some real world
experience, so...

333
00:12:57,742 --> 00:13:00,179
I'll probably just get
on a local campaign.

334
00:13:00,712 --> 00:13:02,548
Like political campaigns?

335
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:03,581
Mm-hmm.

336
00:13:04,082 --> 00:13:06,051
Is that what you've
been studying? Politics?

337
00:13:07,118 --> 00:13:08,487
Hmm. What?

338
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,222
I'm kind of surprised.

339
00:13:11,089 --> 00:13:13,225
I mean, you seem like
a nice guy, and...

340
00:13:13,258 --> 00:13:15,127
Nice guys don't go
into politics?

341
00:13:15,527 --> 00:13:16,562
Kinda. Yeah.

342
00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:18,263
Well, we need more nice guys

343
00:13:18,296 --> 00:13:19,497
in politics.

344
00:13:19,531 --> 00:13:22,467
Or else we're never gonna fix
this messed-up world we got.

345
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:25,104
Hmm? You're gonna fix
the messed-up world, huh?

346
00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:26,572
Yeah. I am.

347
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:28,973
Good for you.

348
00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:30,442
I like that.

349
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,047
So what about you?

350
00:13:37,315 --> 00:13:41,120
What does the future have
in store for Harry Turpin?

351
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:44,122
I don't know. I try not
to think about it too much.

352
00:13:44,155 --> 00:13:45,424
Hmm.

353
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:47,226
That's why I need someone
like you around.

354
00:13:48,426 --> 00:13:49,595
Someone like me?

355
00:13:50,295 --> 00:13:51,295
You know...

356
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:53,198
driven,

357
00:13:53,231 --> 00:13:55,266
a little extra.

358
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:57,335
I'm not extra!

359
00:13:57,669 --> 00:14:00,172
Dude, you're like
the living definition of extra.

360
00:14:00,572 --> 00:14:02,140
- No!
- Man, whatever you say,

361
00:14:02,173 --> 00:14:04,243
Mr. Seven AM Sharp.

362
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:06,444
Okay. Okay.
Stop deflecting.

363
00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:08,046
We're talking about you now.

364
00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:11,217
I guess...

365
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,286
the only thing I really knew
I wanted was...

366
00:14:14,319 --> 00:14:15,487
a family.

367
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,856
To be a dad.

368
00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:19,992
Uh, what about you?

369
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:22,294
You want kids?

370
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:23,028
I mean, to be honest,

371
00:14:23,061 --> 00:14:25,464
I think I would be too afraid

372
00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:27,299
to bring a kid
into this world right now,

373
00:14:27,332 --> 00:14:29,201
well, with, like, climate change

374
00:14:29,234 --> 00:14:32,471
and, you know, just
the general state of things.

375
00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:33,504
I get it.

376
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:35,941
I think about
that stuff too, but...

377
00:14:37,475 --> 00:14:39,756
I don't know, sometimes you just
gotta listen to your heart

378
00:14:40,078 --> 00:14:43,214
and trust that
everything is gonna work out.

379
00:14:45,116 --> 00:14:46,585
Listening to your heart...

380
00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:49,889
trusting, that's
not my strength.

381
00:14:51,389 --> 00:14:53,192
We all got something
to learn, I guess.

382
00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:57,429
You can trust me, you know.

383
00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:01,409
I can trust the man
who can't remember

384
00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:03,035
a three month-aversary?

385
00:15:05,036 --> 00:15:06,405
Cubs or White Sox?

386
00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:07,706
Or the Royals?

387
00:15:07,739 --> 00:15:10,209
Cubs. Duh.
Always love an underdog.

388
00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,545
You can't call
the Cubs an underdog

389
00:15:13,578 --> 00:15:15,079
if they won the World Series.

390
00:15:15,113 --> 00:15:17,549
They ate rocks
my entire childhood.

391
00:15:17,582 --> 00:15:19,217
They could win
the next ten World Series,

392
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,120
and I could still
call them an underdog.

393
00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:23,322
Wha-what was
your favorite movie?

394
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,291
Okay, but don't laugh.

395
00:15:26,324 --> 00:15:27,392
Okay, I promise.

396
00:15:31,229 --> 00:15:32,229
<i>Up.</i>

397
00:15:32,697 --> 00:15:33,933
<i>Up?</i>

398
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,069
With the, the talking dogs
who fly the airplanes?

399
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,145
You said you
weren't gonna laugh.

400
00:15:38,169 --> 00:15:40,305
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
I just...

401
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:42,440
I never would have thought that

402
00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:44,142
that you would say...

403
00:15:44,175 --> 00:15:46,545
It's just, it's just the beginning of
that movie, okay,

404
00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:48,380
where you see
the whole relationship

405
00:15:48,413 --> 00:15:50,615
between the old man and his wife

406
00:15:50,648 --> 00:15:52,217
and then she dies.

407
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,119
It's just...

408
00:15:54,519 --> 00:15:56,722
That's the first time
I knew what love was

409
00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:59,725
and... the kind
of love I wanted.

410
00:16:01,326 --> 00:16:02,328
Wow!

411
00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:06,031
You're kind of a romantic, huh?

412
00:16:10,301 --> 00:16:11,303
I like that movie too.

413
00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:17,409
Did you ever

414
00:16:18,076 --> 00:16:20,012
hook up with anyone
from high school?

415
00:16:21,446 --> 00:16:23,115
- Guys, you mean?
- Mm-hmm.

416
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:25,816
Hell no.

417
00:16:26,751 --> 00:16:27,552
Did you?

418
00:16:27,585 --> 00:16:29,421
I made out
with Scotty Sharp once.

419
00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:30,788
But that was about it.

420
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:33,291
He's... definitely straight.

421
00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:38,497
You know who I always thought
was a little not straight.

422
00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:40,599
- Hmm?
- Kris.

423
00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:42,800
Kelly's Kris?

424
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,335
No, me too!

425
00:16:44,369 --> 00:16:46,571
And now he and Kelly
are engaged. Oh!

426
00:16:46,604 --> 00:16:48,407
You know what's even weirder

427
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,275
than the kinda gay thing?

428
00:16:50,308 --> 00:16:54,146
He and Kelly have been best friends since,
like, sixth grade.

429
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:55,690
Yeah. Well, you know
what they say,

430
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:58,150
you're supposed to marry
your best friend, so...

431
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:01,320
I guess. But I don't think
that's what they meant.

432
00:17:01,953 --> 00:17:03,255
I don't know, I mean,

433
00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:06,157
I guess it's fine
for straight people,

434
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:09,060
but a couple guys
could never do that.

435
00:17:09,527 --> 00:17:10,128
Really?

436
00:17:10,161 --> 00:17:12,330
- You don't think?
- No way.

437
00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:14,733
Once guys are in the friend zone,
there's no getting out.

438
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:18,470
The best you can hope for
is one night of awful sex

439
00:17:18,502 --> 00:17:21,138
but more than likely,
you're gonna have a lousy lay

440
00:17:21,172 --> 00:17:22,341
and ruin the friendship.

441
00:17:22,874 --> 00:17:25,410
Seriously, there is no way

442
00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:27,254
you don't end up worse off
than when you started.

443
00:17:27,278 --> 00:17:28,580
How can you be so sure?

444
00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:30,682
I mean, l-let's just say

445
00:17:31,315 --> 00:17:33,652
Malcolm and I
started out as friends,

446
00:17:34,252 --> 00:17:36,154
then, you know,
we started dating

447
00:17:36,187 --> 00:17:37,656
and I fell in love with him,

448
00:17:38,423 --> 00:17:40,258
uh, but we,

449
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:43,195
we weren't having
a lot of sex, you know,

450
00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:44,830
and then I find out

451
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:46,831
that he's cheating on me

452
00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:48,700
with half of his improv group.

453
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:51,336
I lost him twice,

454
00:17:51,369 --> 00:17:52,437
in one night.

455
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,373
I lost my boyfriend,

456
00:17:55,273 --> 00:17:56,375
and I lost my best friend.

457
00:17:58,776 --> 00:17:59,776
I'm sorry.

458
00:18:00,912 --> 00:18:02,548
You deserve way better
than that.

459
00:18:09,921 --> 00:18:11,389
I should probably go
take a shower.

460
00:18:11,422 --> 00:18:12,724
I reek.

461
00:18:15,226 --> 00:18:18,597
<i>♪ While we're laying
by the poolside, poolside ♪</i>

462
00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:21,466
<i>♪ Getting tired from the sun ♪</i>

463
00:18:22,668 --> 00:18:26,871
<i>♪ Fading in and out of
long nights, long nights... ♪</i>

464
00:18:29,774 --> 00:18:31,585
<i>How is it?
You okay? Did you punch him?</i>

465
00:18:31,609 --> 00:18:33,378
No, it's, uh...

466
00:18:33,411 --> 00:18:35,581
it's actually pretty great.

467
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,116
Stas<i> Really?</i>

468
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:43,789
<i>♪ I wanna spend
with you, you ♪</i>

469
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,793
<i>♪ I wanna be
with you, you ♪</i>

470
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:52,131
<i>♪ Just take in it all ♪</i>

471
00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:55,601
<i>♪ Just take in it all ♪</i>

472
00:18:56,601 --> 00:18:59,771
<i>♪ Just take in it all ♪</i>

473
00:19:00,404 --> 00:19:03,609
<i>♪ Just take in it all ♪</i>

474
00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:08,480
<i>♪ What a heavenly way to die ♪</i>

475
00:19:09,147 --> 00:19:12,451
<i>♪ What a time to be alive ♪</i>

476
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:16,522
<i>♪ Because forever is
in your eyes ♪</i>

477
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,724
<i>♪ But forever ain't
half the time ♪</i>

478
00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:23,462
<i>♪ I wanna spend
with you, you ♪</i>

479
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:25,830
<i>♪ I wanna spend
with you, you... ♪</i>

480
00:19:25,863 --> 00:19:27,366
Suck-up Sammy...

481
00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:30,634
that's funny.

482
00:19:59,530 --> 00:20:00,599
Did you sleep okay?

483
00:20:01,232 --> 00:20:03,435
Mm, I was kinda lonely, but...

484
00:20:21,619 --> 00:20:22,619
Is everything okay?

485
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:25,457
Holy shit, it's past ten.

486
00:20:26,124 --> 00:20:27,892
We should probably,
uh, call the garage.

487
00:20:27,925 --> 00:20:29,261
See if the car is ready.

488
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:30,662
I mean, if we want
to make it home

489
00:20:30,695 --> 00:20:31,830
in time for the party.

490
00:20:38,069 --> 00:20:39,571
Not much has changed, huh?

491
00:20:40,605 --> 00:20:41,773
That's not true.

492
00:20:41,806 --> 00:20:44,409
There's an Applebee's where
the Fuddruckers used to be.

493
00:20:46,244 --> 00:20:47,579
Oh, here we are.

494
00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:53,318
- Hey, listen.
- Yep.

495
00:20:53,618 --> 00:20:56,288
I really am sorry

496
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,924
about being such
a dick during school.

497
00:21:00,758 --> 00:21:01,758
You're pretty awesome.

498
00:21:02,894 --> 00:21:05,397
So I was gonna head back Monday.

499
00:21:06,097 --> 00:21:07,599
I was thinking
about leaving early,

500
00:21:07,632 --> 00:21:09,272
don't want to hit rush hour.

501
00:21:11,602 --> 00:21:14,573
- Who's that?
- That's Lydia.

502
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,908
Your ex. She came.

503
00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:20,512
I guess now she's more
like my ex-ex.

504
00:21:21,746 --> 00:21:23,882
You're... back together.

505
00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:26,418
Yeah, she, uh,
texted this morning.

506
00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:28,053
Said she was sorry

507
00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,755
and she wanted to work it out

508
00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:32,658
and that she was already driving over
to meet me, so...

509
00:21:36,427 --> 00:21:37,427
Hi, baby.

510
00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:38,764
See you back at school?

511
00:21:47,638 --> 00:21:49,774
- I missed you...
- I missed you too.

512
00:21:58,516 --> 00:22:00,118
So I told him it was over.

513
00:22:00,151 --> 00:22:01,886
You broke up with him?

514
00:22:01,919 --> 00:22:04,656
Break-up implies we had some
sort of commitment to break,

515
00:22:04,689 --> 00:22:06,791
which we did not, but yeah.

516
00:22:06,824 --> 00:22:08,860
He was starting to get
all needy and possessive.

517
00:22:09,260 --> 00:22:11,763
Gary... was getting
possessive?

518
00:22:12,296 --> 00:22:14,799
He insisted on taking me
out tonight, for one thing.

519
00:22:14,832 --> 00:22:17,736
I don't think wanting to take
your girlfriend of three-plus years

520
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:20,638
out on Valentine's Day
qualifies as being possessive.

521
00:22:20,671 --> 00:22:22,073
He knew I had plans with you.

522
00:22:22,106 --> 00:22:24,008
What, to go to
a Singles Only party?

523
00:22:24,041 --> 00:22:25,377
Yeah, exactly.

524
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:26,845
You're okay?

525
00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:27,979
Totally!

526
00:22:28,012 --> 00:22:29,681
I'm relieved, to be honest.

527
00:22:29,714 --> 00:22:31,750
You know me. Relationships
just aren't my thing.

528
00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:33,026
Except for that
you've been in one

529
00:22:33,050 --> 00:22:34,985
almost the entire time
I've known you.

530
00:22:35,019 --> 00:22:36,388
Mmm.

531
00:22:54,572 --> 00:22:55,572
Bry!

532
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:56,840
Bryan!

533
00:22:57,608 --> 00:22:58,710
Hey, girl!

534
00:22:59,010 --> 00:23:00,078
Hey, real girl!

535
00:23:01,045 --> 00:23:02,047
Hey.

536
00:23:02,747 --> 00:23:05,917
Two Solo cups for two solos.

537
00:23:06,517 --> 00:23:07,552
Get it.

538
00:23:07,952 --> 00:23:09,755
- Cheers, queers.
- Cheers!

539
00:23:12,089 --> 00:23:13,457
Ohh!

540
00:23:14,258 --> 00:23:15,602
Most of the hot guys
have congregated

541
00:23:15,626 --> 00:23:17,195
to the queer pong table.

542
00:23:17,228 --> 00:23:19,698
That's beer pong for...
You get it.

543
00:23:20,131 --> 00:23:22,066
Anyway, that's where
you'll have the best luck

544
00:23:22,099 --> 00:23:24,668
unless you're into the ladies.

545
00:23:24,702 --> 00:23:27,739
Ohh, just your basic
straight girl unfortunately.

546
00:23:27,772 --> 00:23:29,206
Queer pong it is, then.

547
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,876
Don't worry. There's plenty
of straight meat over there too.

548
00:23:31,909 --> 00:23:33,211
Okay, let's go.
Come on.

549
00:23:33,244 --> 00:23:34,745
Thanks, Bryan.

550
00:23:36,047 --> 00:23:39,617
So apparently, there's a million
single people in Chicago,

551
00:23:39,650 --> 00:23:40,985
and I still can't get a date.

552
00:23:41,018 --> 00:23:42,020
Oh, you can get a date.

553
00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:43,555
You're just too scared to try.

554
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:45,590
I'm not scared, I'm picky.

555
00:23:45,623 --> 00:23:46,891
Picky is just an excuse

556
00:23:46,924 --> 00:23:48,760
so you don't have
to put yourself out there.

557
00:23:48,793 --> 00:23:50,727
- Not true.
- Really?

558
00:23:50,761 --> 00:23:52,873
Okay, then you know what?
I'm gonna pick out some guys,

559
00:23:52,897 --> 00:23:54,174
and you're going
to go talk to them.

560
00:23:54,198 --> 00:23:56,601
- Fine.
- Oh!

561
00:23:57,969 --> 00:23:59,871
What about...

562
00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:01,640
him?

563
00:24:01,873 --> 00:24:03,141
Oh, who, Toucan Sam?

564
00:24:03,641 --> 00:24:05,777
You know what they say
about big noses.

565
00:24:05,810 --> 00:24:07,479
- Big boogers.
- Ugh!

566
00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:08,713
You're gross. Okay.

567
00:24:09,146 --> 00:24:12,117
Fine. What about...

568
00:24:12,650 --> 00:24:13,650
him.

569
00:24:14,251 --> 00:24:16,521
Oh, the lost Kardashian brother?

570
00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:19,924
I guarantee you
that his camera roll is

571
00:24:19,957 --> 00:24:22,760
95 percent pictures of himself.

572
00:24:22,793 --> 00:24:24,929
Okay, fine, Mr. Picky.

573
00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:27,765
What about...

574
00:24:28,266 --> 00:24:29,468
Overalls?

575
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:31,002
He's totally your type.

576
00:24:31,569 --> 00:24:33,605
Honestly, with a body like that,

577
00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:34,938
if he's not good enough for you,

578
00:24:34,972 --> 00:24:36,808
he is definitely
good enough for me.

579
00:24:40,978 --> 00:24:42,146
Oh shit!

580
00:24:42,179 --> 00:24:43,915
- Sam!
- Can we get out of here?

581
00:24:43,948 --> 00:24:45,859
- Sam!
- Why? Who is that? You want me to beat him up?

582
00:24:45,883 --> 00:24:47,519
- No.
- Suck-up Sammy!

583
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,288
- Ohh!
- Oh, too late.

584
00:24:50,321 --> 00:24:52,756
What's up?
How you been, man?

585
00:24:52,790 --> 00:24:55,693
Good, man!
How about you?

586
00:24:55,726 --> 00:24:58,129
Uh, you know, chillin'
like strawberry fillin'.

587
00:24:59,163 --> 00:25:00,164
Li-like in a doughnut.

588
00:25:00,197 --> 00:25:02,132
You know, tasty.

589
00:25:02,967 --> 00:25:04,302
I-I'm kind of wasted.

590
00:25:04,335 --> 00:25:05,670
I'm Harry, by the way.

591
00:25:05,703 --> 00:25:07,138
Oh, I know who you are.

592
00:25:07,171 --> 00:25:08,273
Yeah?

593
00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:11,075
Well, uh, who are you?

594
00:25:11,108 --> 00:25:13,945
This is Stasia, my best friend.

595
00:25:13,978 --> 00:25:14,978
Nice.

596
00:25:16,647 --> 00:25:19,283
So, uh, what are you doing
at a Singles Only party?

597
00:25:19,317 --> 00:25:20,785
I thought you had a girlfriend.

598
00:25:20,818 --> 00:25:22,987
- Huh?
- Your girlfriend. Lydia.

599
00:25:23,020 --> 00:25:24,254
That's her name, right?

600
00:25:24,288 --> 00:25:26,024
Thee one that you had
the big fight with,

601
00:25:26,057 --> 00:25:27,592
so you had to ride
with me back home.

602
00:25:28,059 --> 00:25:29,303
- And then you guys made up.
- Yeah.

603
00:25:29,327 --> 00:25:30,862
- So you ditched me.
- Uh, whaa...

604
00:25:30,895 --> 00:25:32,964
I didn't ditch you,
my girlfriend showed up.

605
00:25:32,997 --> 00:25:33,997
Whatever.

606
00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:35,742
I'm guessing you guys
aren't still together,

607
00:25:35,766 --> 00:25:37,044
seeing as you
can't remember her name?

608
00:25:37,068 --> 00:25:38,937
Nah, uh, we broke up

609
00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:40,872
before we even
got back to Chicago.

610
00:25:40,905 --> 00:25:43,041
If you'd ever texted me back

611
00:25:43,074 --> 00:25:44,208
after our road trip,

612
00:25:44,241 --> 00:25:45,610
you might have known that.

613
00:25:45,910 --> 00:25:47,312
Oh, uh...

614
00:25:47,345 --> 00:25:48,980
Yeah, sorry, I just, um...

615
00:25:49,914 --> 00:25:52,584
I-I got back to school
and got wrapped up in classes.

616
00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:54,118
- You know me.
- So, yeah,

617
00:25:54,151 --> 00:25:55,587
um, after Lynnea...

618
00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:57,254
- Lydia.
- Right.

619
00:25:57,888 --> 00:26:00,692
Lydia. Lynnea came after.

620
00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:02,025
Before the first Mike.

621
00:26:02,059 --> 00:26:03,870
Anyway, so let's just say
that I just felt like

622
00:26:03,894 --> 00:26:06,731
I was playing into
the whole pan stereotype,

623
00:26:06,764 --> 00:26:07,966
- so I...
- Which is?

624
00:26:09,066 --> 00:26:11,603
That we, you know...
get around.

625
00:26:11,636 --> 00:26:14,872
"Get around." Is that, like,
a nice way of saying "slutty"?

626
00:26:14,905 --> 00:26:16,741
Ah, come on.

627
00:26:16,774 --> 00:26:17,876
I'm a romantic.

628
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,243
You know that.

629
00:26:20,645 --> 00:26:22,180
I'm just looking for Mr...

630
00:26:23,047 --> 00:26:24,048
Mrs...

631
00:26:24,081 --> 00:26:25,617
Person Right.

632
00:26:26,384 --> 00:26:27,461
Bu-but you know what they say,

633
00:26:27,485 --> 00:26:29,620
the definition of insanity
is doing the same thing

634
00:26:29,654 --> 00:26:30,922
over and over again

635
00:26:30,955 --> 00:26:32,165
and expecting
a different result,

636
00:26:32,189 --> 00:26:35,326
so... I decided
to pull the plug,

637
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:36,595
go full monk.

638
00:26:37,162 --> 00:26:39,264
No more dating.
Totally celibate.

639
00:26:40,931 --> 00:26:42,968
You... are celibate?

640
00:26:46,003 --> 00:26:47,003
For how long?

641
00:26:47,739 --> 00:26:49,219
Okay, it's only been
a couple of days.

642
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,076
I'm serious about this.

643
00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:54,012
- What?
- Um...

644
00:26:54,045 --> 00:26:55,780
- What?
- You know what?

645
00:26:56,781 --> 00:26:58,683
- Stasia?
- Oh my God!

646
00:26:59,116 --> 00:27:00,151
I'm gonna get a refill

647
00:27:01,018 --> 00:27:01,953
or some embalming fluid.

648
00:27:01,986 --> 00:27:03,922
Because that would be
less strong. My God!

649
00:27:05,022 --> 00:27:06,022
Ugh!

650
00:27:09,126 --> 00:27:12,797
Okay. So if you're so serious
about not dating,

651
00:27:12,830 --> 00:27:14,064
why are you at this party?

652
00:27:14,098 --> 00:27:16,067
Oh yeah, my friends dragged me.

653
00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:17,034
Oh.

654
00:27:17,068 --> 00:27:19,203
Plus I've been painting
my new apartment,

655
00:27:19,236 --> 00:27:21,156
and I needed something
to clean the paintbrushes.

656
00:27:24,775 --> 00:27:26,744
So, uh, what have you been up to

657
00:27:26,777 --> 00:27:28,279
since graduation?

658
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,016
I'm, um...

659
00:27:32,283 --> 00:27:34,119
working for Nadia Custo.

660
00:27:36,087 --> 00:27:37,789
Should I know who that is?

661
00:27:38,456 --> 00:27:39,858
I don't know, did you date her?

662
00:27:41,058 --> 00:27:42,293
No, she's running for mayor.

663
00:27:42,326 --> 00:27:44,095
She's a, a real progressive,

664
00:27:44,128 --> 00:27:47,064
and it's part of my job
to make sure people like you

665
00:27:47,098 --> 00:27:48,299
know who she is.

666
00:27:48,999 --> 00:27:51,002
So you're, like, in charge
of PR or something?

667
00:27:51,035 --> 00:27:53,071
Uh... no, I just started.

668
00:27:53,104 --> 00:27:55,139
I'm one of her
community organizers.

669
00:27:55,172 --> 00:27:58,843
It's basically like
one step up from volunteers.

670
00:27:58,876 --> 00:28:00,087
Hey, no need to be embarrassed.

671
00:28:00,111 --> 00:28:02,013
I'm folding shirts these days.

672
00:28:02,046 --> 00:28:04,149
Well, that's...
is that, um...

673
00:28:04,782 --> 00:28:06,984
Is that... Sorry, you never
actually told me your major.

674
00:28:07,017 --> 00:28:08,453
Was it retail

675
00:28:08,486 --> 00:28:11,056
or, um... fashion?

676
00:28:12,123 --> 00:28:13,424
Is that so hard to believe?

677
00:28:13,457 --> 00:28:14,859
Kinda.

678
00:28:15,626 --> 00:28:18,329
Uh, no. I, I didn't
major in fashion.

679
00:28:18,729 --> 00:28:21,866
I majored in something
much more important than that.

680
00:28:21,899 --> 00:28:23,066
- Huh?
- Marketing.

681
00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:24,100
Uh...

682
00:28:25,503 --> 00:28:27,739
- What, are you judging me...
- Mn-mn.

683
00:28:27,772 --> 00:28:29,741
- Mr. Politics.
- Not at all.

684
00:28:29,774 --> 00:28:31,976
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
you are. I can tell.

685
00:28:32,009 --> 00:28:33,489
What do you think
politics is, anyway?

686
00:28:34,011 --> 00:28:37,181
It's just marketing
the same candidate different ways.

687
00:28:37,214 --> 00:28:39,082
They are not all the same.

688
00:28:39,116 --> 00:28:41,985
Nadia Custo wants healthcare
for everybody.

689
00:28:42,019 --> 00:28:44,122
She wants more money
for public education.

690
00:28:44,155 --> 00:28:45,757
She's even looking
at a plan right now

691
00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:47,325
to get cars out of
the downtown core.

692
00:28:47,358 --> 00:28:49,060
Talk about a game changer!

693
00:28:49,093 --> 00:28:50,862
- Settle down, AOC.
- Oh!

694
00:28:50,895 --> 00:28:51,930
I, I believe you.

695
00:29:02,039 --> 00:29:03,519
You're seriously
not dating right now?

696
00:29:07,111 --> 00:29:08,980
Okay, I should
probably go, uh...

697
00:29:09,714 --> 00:29:12,015
check on Stasia, make sure she's not
terrorizing anyone.

698
00:29:12,950 --> 00:29:14,185
Oh, uh, okay.

699
00:29:14,218 --> 00:29:16,053
Yeah, and I'll get
some more of this

700
00:29:16,086 --> 00:29:17,330
uh, you know,
paintbrush cleaner.

701
00:29:17,354 --> 00:29:19,223
Yeah, I'll take another one
if you're going.

702
00:29:19,256 --> 00:29:22,160
Uh, okay. Uh, yeah.
Sure, I got you.

703
00:29:23,260 --> 00:29:24,295
Hurry back.

704
00:29:30,568 --> 00:29:32,436
Oh my God!

705
00:29:32,469 --> 00:29:33,938
He's adorable.

706
00:29:34,305 --> 00:29:36,116
How come in all the millions
of times you've told me

707
00:29:36,140 --> 00:29:38,075
the story of
the road trip from hell,

708
00:29:38,108 --> 00:29:40,144
you never mentioned
how fricking hot he is.

709
00:29:40,177 --> 00:29:41,212
I don't know.

710
00:29:41,245 --> 00:29:43,081
You should be all over that.

711
00:29:43,581 --> 00:29:45,582
He's not dating now.

712
00:29:45,616 --> 00:29:46,617
Oh please.

713
00:29:46,651 --> 00:29:49,153
He's basically begging you
to give him a reason

714
00:29:49,186 --> 00:29:50,789
to break his vow of chastity.

715
00:29:51,422 --> 00:29:53,991
If I've learned one thing
from politics,

716
00:29:54,024 --> 00:29:56,293
it's that you can't make someone vote
for your candidate

717
00:29:56,327 --> 00:29:58,163
if they're not going
to the polls at all.

718
00:29:58,696 --> 00:30:00,430
You're not running for office.

719
00:30:00,464 --> 00:30:02,265
You are trying to get laid.

720
00:30:02,299 --> 00:30:04,302
You know me.
I don't do the,

721
00:30:04,335 --> 00:30:07,138
you know, casual
one night thing very well.

722
00:30:07,605 --> 00:30:09,040
Sure.

723
00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:11,251
But you're never gonna get
to a second night

724
00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:13,945
if you don't do
the first one, Samwich.

725
00:30:14,378 --> 00:30:17,148
Now get back out there
and throw yourself

726
00:30:17,181 --> 00:30:19,150
at that hot piece of man-ass

727
00:30:19,183 --> 00:30:21,228
before I call your mom
and tell her you quit therapy.

728
00:30:23,254 --> 00:30:24,289
Fine.

729
00:30:25,222 --> 00:30:26,222
Wait.

730
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,094
- No. No...
- No, it's coming off.

731
00:30:31,128 --> 00:30:32,608
- It's coming off.
- Okay, okay, okay.

732
00:30:32,830 --> 00:30:35,166
<i>♪ I like the way you talk ♪</i>

733
00:30:35,199 --> 00:30:36,567
<i>♪ I like the things
you wear... ♪</i>

734
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:37,635
Much better.

735
00:30:37,668 --> 00:30:40,271
<i>♪ I want your number
tattooed on my arm ♪</i>

736
00:30:40,304 --> 00:30:41,572
<i>♪ In ink, I swear ♪</i>

737
00:30:41,605 --> 00:30:44,008
<i>♪ 'Cause when
the morning comes ♪</i>

738
00:30:44,041 --> 00:30:46,110
<i>♪ I know you won't be there ♪</i>

739
00:30:46,610 --> 00:30:49,947
<i>♪ Every time I turn around
you disappear... ♪</i>

740
00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:51,115
Hey, Frat Paddle.

741
00:30:52,316 --> 00:30:54,018
I'm recently single,

742
00:30:54,051 --> 00:30:55,629
and I'm gonna need you
to take me into some sort

743
00:30:55,653 --> 00:30:57,622
of bathroom or closet

744
00:30:57,655 --> 00:30:59,324
and just screw me into oblivion.

745
00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:02,426
No names, no wants, no needs,

746
00:31:02,459 --> 00:31:05,129
just two animals going at it.

747
00:31:05,696 --> 00:31:07,232
You think you
can do that for me?

748
00:31:08,666 --> 00:31:09,900
Attaboy.

749
00:31:10,568 --> 00:31:12,237
<i>♪ I know you won't be there ♪</i>

750
00:31:13,171 --> 00:31:17,174
<i>♪ Every time I turn around,
you disappear... ♪</i>

751
00:31:17,207 --> 00:31:18,209
Nice moves.

752
00:31:18,242 --> 00:31:19,377
Oh yeah?
You like that?

753
00:31:19,410 --> 00:31:20,945
Yeah, sure.

754
00:31:21,345 --> 00:31:23,681
It works in a, like,
is-there-an-earthquake

755
00:31:23,714 --> 00:31:25,884
or-is-he-ahead-of-his-time
kinda way.

756
00:31:26,417 --> 00:31:28,253
Thanks, I think.

757
00:31:33,557 --> 00:31:35,092
Did you just...

758
00:31:35,125 --> 00:31:37,195
Are you flirting with that guy?

759
00:31:37,428 --> 00:31:38,562
What? No.

760
00:31:38,595 --> 00:31:39,363
Yes, you were.

761
00:31:39,396 --> 00:31:41,331
You just gave him one of these.

762
00:31:41,365 --> 00:31:42,533
- I...
- I mean, I get it.

763
00:31:42,566 --> 00:31:44,001
He's super hot.

764
00:31:44,034 --> 00:31:45,245
You should totally ask him out.

765
00:31:45,269 --> 00:31:46,704
That wasn't flirting.

766
00:31:46,737 --> 00:31:48,239
Look, I don't care.

767
00:31:48,272 --> 00:31:50,241
Just own up to it,
Mr. Celibate.

768
00:31:50,274 --> 00:31:51,575
I wasn't flirting.

769
00:31:51,876 --> 00:31:53,978
Look, I'm not gonna
fight you on it...

770
00:31:54,979 --> 00:31:56,080
but you definitely did.

771
00:31:56,113 --> 00:31:57,257
Okay, you're acting
like a freak.

772
00:31:57,281 --> 00:31:58,983
Is there something
you wanna say?

773
00:31:59,249 --> 00:32:00,551
I'm not a freak.

774
00:32:01,151 --> 00:32:03,354
You're a freak.
You're a freak

775
00:32:03,387 --> 00:32:05,389
who can't keep
his horse in the barn.

776
00:32:06,290 --> 00:32:07,291
Is that right, Grampa?

777
00:32:07,325 --> 00:32:10,261
Well, at least I'm not afraid
to ride a horse.

778
00:32:11,128 --> 00:32:12,397
- Wow!
- Mmm.

779
00:32:12,964 --> 00:32:16,601
Well, that's better
than being the rodeo clown.

780
00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:18,369
What does that even mean?

781
00:32:18,402 --> 00:32:19,570
I think you know.

782
00:32:19,603 --> 00:32:21,505
Hey, uh, I'm gonna
get out of here.

783
00:32:21,538 --> 00:32:22,549
I just had sex with this guy,

784
00:32:22,573 --> 00:32:24,408
and he's waiting
in the bathroom for round two

785
00:32:24,441 --> 00:32:25,343
and I just don't have it in me.

786
00:32:25,376 --> 00:32:26,711
Great. I'll come with.

787
00:32:26,744 --> 00:32:28,146
Nothing keeping me here.

788
00:32:28,679 --> 00:32:29,679
Good seeing you, Harry.

789
00:32:30,348 --> 00:32:32,249
<i>♪ Every time I turn around ♪</i>

790
00:32:32,282 --> 00:32:37,120
<i>♪ You disappear ♪</i>

791
00:32:37,588 --> 00:32:39,190
<i>♪ I got love for you ♪</i>

792
00:32:39,757 --> 00:32:41,058
<i>♪ I got love for you ♪</i>

793
00:32:41,091 --> 00:32:42,226
<i>♪ Nice to meet ya ♪</i>

794
00:32:42,259 --> 00:32:43,428
<i>♪ I got love for you ♪</i>

795
00:32:46,263 --> 00:32:47,307
Oh, come on, you missing link.

796
00:32:47,331 --> 00:32:50,001
Hey, we gotta leave soon.
You need to get ready.

797
00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:52,470
What is it, black tie
or something? I'm ready.

798
00:32:53,070 --> 00:32:54,504
You might wanna
put on some pants.

799
00:32:55,305 --> 00:32:56,483
Hey, you're the one in a towel.

800
00:32:56,507 --> 00:32:57,675
Go get ready.

801
00:32:57,708 --> 00:33:00,311
Harry, we both know you're
gonna wait until the last sec

802
00:33:00,344 --> 00:33:02,313
and then rip on some pants
super fast, but then

803
00:33:02,346 --> 00:33:03,590
you're gonna want
to check your hair

804
00:33:03,614 --> 00:33:04,582
and you're gonna
spend 20 minutes

805
00:33:04,615 --> 00:33:06,426
making it look like
you didn't check your hair.

806
00:33:06,450 --> 00:33:07,618
So get off the game...

807
00:33:07,651 --> 00:33:08,753
Quit riding me, Zach.

808
00:33:08,786 --> 00:33:10,421
I just wanna finish
the campaign, okay.

809
00:33:10,454 --> 00:33:11,589
First of all...

810
00:33:12,222 --> 00:33:13,658
you wish I was riding you.

811
00:33:15,292 --> 00:33:17,093
Yo, I love it when you get
all dom with me.

812
00:33:17,127 --> 00:33:18,262
You need to get laid.

813
00:33:19,163 --> 00:33:20,365
Get ready. Now!

814
00:33:26,703 --> 00:33:27,703
Sorry, boys.

815
00:33:27,971 --> 00:33:29,106
Where were we?

816
00:33:29,139 --> 00:33:30,139
Harry!

817
00:33:30,641 --> 00:33:32,143
So who organized this again?

818
00:33:32,609 --> 00:33:33,677
My niece.

819
00:33:33,710 --> 00:33:36,113
Oh yeah. It starts
at 8:00, right?

820
00:33:36,146 --> 00:33:37,315
We should make it.

821
00:33:38,215 --> 00:33:40,484
Sorry. It's just the campaign
is really ramping up,

822
00:33:40,517 --> 00:33:42,253
what with the primaries
next month.

823
00:33:42,886 --> 00:33:45,056
You know, she asked us
not to be late, Sam.

824
00:33:45,656 --> 00:33:47,425
Uh, Usain Dolt, can we chill?

825
00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:49,360
Eat my dingleberries.

826
00:33:49,393 --> 00:33:50,494
That was rude!

827
00:33:50,528 --> 00:33:53,064
No, making me late for
my girlfriend's trivia night,

828
00:33:53,097 --> 00:33:54,165
that's rude!

829
00:33:54,198 --> 00:33:56,358
Dude, you really need to start
meditating or something.

830
00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:58,569
This kinda stress isn't good
for your heart.

831
00:34:04,508 --> 00:34:06,044
See? Right on time.

832
00:34:07,644 --> 00:34:09,322
She really wants to make sure
we win this week,

833
00:34:09,346 --> 00:34:10,281
so she's brought in
a couple ringers

834
00:34:10,313 --> 00:34:12,382
to handle all the stuff
that none of us know.

835
00:34:12,416 --> 00:34:14,452
- Like what?
- Art and politics.

836
00:34:14,485 --> 00:34:15,719
- Uh-huh.
- Oh wait.

837
00:34:15,752 --> 00:34:17,321
- They're here.
- Who?

838
00:34:17,353 --> 00:34:19,357
My uncle Paul
and his boyfriend Sam.

839
00:34:21,391 --> 00:34:23,661
Shit! Can we go?

840
00:34:24,261 --> 00:34:25,696
- What? Why?
- It's just that, um...

841
00:34:26,029 --> 00:34:28,431
I'm not feeling
especially trivial right now.

842
00:34:28,465 --> 00:34:29,567
Oh my gosh, relax.

843
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:30,677
Come on, Sam.
Let's do this.

844
00:34:30,701 --> 00:34:32,403
- Hey.
- Hey!

845
00:34:32,436 --> 00:34:34,538
Good to see you.

846
00:34:34,571 --> 00:34:35,806
You remember Zach, Uncle Paul.

847
00:34:35,839 --> 00:34:36,883
- Of course I do.
- Good to see you.

848
00:34:36,907 --> 00:34:38,375
And, um, this is Sam.

849
00:34:38,408 --> 00:34:39,676
Sam, this is my boyfriend Zach.

850
00:34:39,710 --> 00:34:42,213
Oh, and this is Harry,
his roommate.

851
00:34:42,545 --> 00:34:43,545
Hi.

852
00:34:43,813 --> 00:34:46,850
<i>Okay, folks, we have
seven killer teams</i>

853
00:34:46,884 --> 00:34:48,886
<i>for tonight's
Trivia To the Death.</i>

854
00:34:48,918 --> 00:34:50,396
<i>So grab your seat.
We're about to start.</i>

855
00:34:50,420 --> 00:34:52,356
Is that Harry,
Harry from the road trip?

856
00:34:53,157 --> 00:34:54,525
Oh God. I didn't know.

857
00:34:54,558 --> 00:34:56,127
- I'm so sorry, babe.
- It's okay.

858
00:34:58,896 --> 00:35:00,397
So, how's my sister?

859
00:35:00,430 --> 00:35:02,433
So you're dating
Nancy Fancy Pants, huh?

860
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:04,768
His name is Paul, thank you,

861
00:35:04,801 --> 00:35:06,170
and he's really great.

862
00:35:07,004 --> 00:35:09,440
I can't help it
if he's super smart

863
00:35:09,473 --> 00:35:11,875
and super handsome
and a super successful art dealer.

864
00:35:13,810 --> 00:35:15,113
And so what if I am...

865
00:35:15,746 --> 00:35:16,746
dating him?

866
00:35:17,614 --> 00:35:18,614
Why do you care?

867
00:35:19,116 --> 00:35:20,560
If I'd known you were
into rich old guys,

868
00:35:20,584 --> 00:35:21,928
I would have introduced you
to my grandfather.

869
00:35:21,952 --> 00:35:23,654
That's super ageist.

870
00:35:24,588 --> 00:35:25,556
At least I'm not a man-whore.

871
00:35:25,589 --> 00:35:27,658
Excuse me. I've been
celibate for several...

872
00:35:29,359 --> 00:35:30,661
days this year.

873
00:35:32,596 --> 00:35:34,231
So where are you working
these days?

874
00:35:34,264 --> 00:35:35,584
Still folding shirts
for a living?

875
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,668
As a matter of fact, I am not.

876
00:35:38,101 --> 00:35:39,436
- Really?
- Hmm?

877
00:35:39,469 --> 00:35:40,571
What are you doing?

878
00:35:41,338 --> 00:35:43,807
I'm, I'm in telecommunications.

879
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:45,543
- Oh yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

880
00:35:45,576 --> 00:35:46,944
Who you working for?

881
00:35:46,977 --> 00:35:50,548
I'm selling phones
at a kiosk on the Pier.

882
00:35:50,581 --> 00:35:52,416
Now can you be quiet, please?

883
00:35:52,449 --> 00:35:53,384
They're starting.

884
00:35:53,417 --> 00:35:57,421
<i>Okay, folks. Now we know
how this works, right?</i>

885
00:35:57,454 --> 00:36:00,357
<i>This first team to ring the bell
with the right answer gets one point.</i>

886
00:36:00,390 --> 00:36:01,926
<i>At the end of each round,</i>

887
00:36:01,959 --> 00:36:04,595
<i>the team with the lowest score
gets eliminated.</i>

888
00:36:05,662 --> 00:36:06,495
<i>Question one:</i>

889
00:36:06,530 --> 00:36:09,433
<i>what was the first
multi-platform</i>

890
00:36:10,234 --> 00:36:11,268
<i>web browser?</i>

891
00:36:11,301 --> 00:36:12,603
Mosaic.

892
00:36:12,636 --> 00:36:14,314
<i>Correct.
Please don't hurt yourselves.</i>

893
00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:15,739
<i>One point, team five.</i>

894
00:36:15,772 --> 00:36:16,907
<i>Question two:</i>

895
00:36:16,940 --> 00:36:18,909
<i>what is the biggest island</i>

896
00:36:18,942 --> 00:36:20,244
<i>on Earth?</i>

897
00:36:20,711 --> 00:36:21,611
Greenland.

898
00:36:21,645 --> 00:36:23,314
<i>- Nice.</i>
- Yeah!

899
00:36:23,981 --> 00:36:25,316
Come on, everybody knows that.

900
00:36:26,550 --> 00:36:28,385
<i>Question 32:</i>

901
00:36:28,418 --> 00:36:30,487
<i>what nut can you use
to make an explosive?</i>

902
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,989
Peanut.

903
00:36:32,022 --> 00:36:32,990
<i>Correct.</i>

904
00:36:33,023 --> 00:36:34,558
Peanut-brained, am I right?

905
00:36:34,591 --> 00:36:36,493
<i>Who was the first
baseball team to win</i>

906
00:36:36,526 --> 00:36:39,529
<i>two World Series trophies
in the '80s?</i>

907
00:36:40,731 --> 00:36:41,732
The Cardinals?

908
00:36:42,299 --> 00:36:44,001
<i>Afraid not.
Anybody else?</i>

909
00:36:44,034 --> 00:36:45,636
Dodgers!

910
00:36:45,669 --> 00:36:46,604
<i>That's what we're talkin' about.</i>

911
00:36:46,637 --> 00:36:48,305
Damn it, Harry!

912
00:36:48,338 --> 00:36:49,549
I thought your little
mouth-breathing friend

913
00:36:49,573 --> 00:36:50,341
had sports covered.

914
00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:52,276
That kinda was a hard one, Paul.

915
00:36:55,646 --> 00:36:57,781
<i>Which was the first country
to use paper money?</i>

916
00:36:57,814 --> 00:36:59,016
China.

917
00:36:59,049 --> 00:37:00,517
- Jupiter.
- Water music.

918
00:37:00,550 --> 00:37:02,319
Hakuna matata!

919
00:37:02,352 --> 00:37:03,796
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn!

920
00:37:03,820 --> 00:37:05,923
Jehovah's Witness.

921
00:37:06,356 --> 00:37:08,492
<i>Ooh, sorry, team three.</i>

922
00:37:08,525 --> 00:37:10,861
<i>That is wrong,
and that means you are out.</i>

923
00:37:10,894 --> 00:37:12,363
<i>Okay, folks, so that means</i>

924
00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:14,398
<i>we're down
to our last two teams.</i>

925
00:37:14,431 --> 00:37:16,433
<i>And because we've gone
way over time,</i>

926
00:37:16,466 --> 00:37:18,435
<i>we're gonna sudden death
this mother!</i>

927
00:37:18,468 --> 00:37:20,671
<i>One question for the win.</i>

928
00:37:20,704 --> 00:37:21,739
<i>And the category is...</i>

929
00:37:22,639 --> 00:37:24,475
<i>Art History.</i>

930
00:37:24,942 --> 00:37:27,678
<i>Okay. This artist's
scandalous painting</i>

931
00:37:27,711 --> 00:37:30,046
<i>of a woman
nearly derailed his career</i>

932
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,651
<i>when it was exhibited
in Paris in 1884.</i>

933
00:37:35,919 --> 00:37:37,621
Toulouse Lautrec!

934
00:37:37,654 --> 00:37:39,356
<i>Good guess! Afraid not!</i>

935
00:37:39,389 --> 00:37:41,892
<i>Team Five, you have 30 seconds
to give me the right answer</i>

936
00:37:41,925 --> 00:37:43,694
<i>for the win, or we go again.</i>

937
00:37:43,727 --> 00:37:44,862
It's Matisse. It's Matisse.

938
00:37:44,895 --> 00:37:46,930
Mmm, no, it's not.

939
00:37:46,963 --> 00:37:47,963
It's Sargent.

940
00:37:48,399 --> 00:37:49,767
This is my business.

941
00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:51,602
It's Matisse.

942
00:37:51,635 --> 00:37:52,570
It's a painting
he did of his wife.

943
00:37:52,603 --> 00:37:55,306
I'm telling you,
it's John Singer Sargent.

944
00:37:55,639 --> 00:37:57,074
- <i>Madame X.</i>
- <i>Twenty seconds.</i>

945
00:37:57,107 --> 00:37:58,609
How the hell do you know that?

946
00:37:58,642 --> 00:38:01,479
He also did a bunch
of drawings of naked dudes.

947
00:38:01,946 --> 00:38:03,714
I stole a book about him
from the library

948
00:38:03,747 --> 00:38:04,915
so I could whack off to it.

949
00:38:04,948 --> 00:38:06,917
And sometimes
after I was finished,

950
00:38:06,950 --> 00:38:09,287
I would, you know, read it.

951
00:38:10,087 --> 00:38:12,723
Okay, I say we go
with Uncle Paul.

952
00:38:12,756 --> 00:38:15,058
- Yeah.
- Uh, no way. Harry's right.

953
00:38:15,092 --> 00:38:16,093
He whacks off a lot.

954
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:17,807
- <i>Ten seconds.</i>
- I vote Harry.

955
00:38:18,462 --> 00:38:19,730
Okay, um, Sam,

956
00:38:19,763 --> 00:38:20,898
you get the deciding vote.

957
00:38:20,931 --> 00:38:22,466
Wh... uh!

958
00:38:22,966 --> 00:38:24,634
Sam, are you serious right now?

959
00:38:25,102 --> 00:38:27,604
You really think that
this pair of shoulders

960
00:38:27,637 --> 00:38:28,972
knows more about art history

961
00:38:29,005 --> 00:38:30,005
than I do!

962
00:38:32,909 --> 00:38:33,944
Come on.

963
00:38:37,714 --> 00:38:39,416
Harry! I say
we go with Harry!

964
00:38:39,449 --> 00:38:40,918
John Singer Sargent!

965
00:38:41,685 --> 00:38:42,620
<i>That is correct.</i>

966
00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:44,654
<i>Congratulations.</i>

967
00:38:44,688 --> 00:38:45,823
<i>Team Five's the winner.</i>

968
00:38:47,491 --> 00:38:48,559
Ah! I...

969
00:38:49,693 --> 00:38:50,961
Congrats, everyone.

970
00:38:50,994 --> 00:38:52,363
Sam, let's go.

971
00:38:55,832 --> 00:38:57,534
Actually, I think
I'm gonna stay.

972
00:38:57,567 --> 00:38:58,567
You know what?

973
00:38:58,902 --> 00:39:00,003
You are a child!

974
00:39:00,036 --> 00:39:01,372
Goodbye.

975
00:39:05,642 --> 00:39:06,962
My mother
never liked him, anyway.

976
00:39:08,812 --> 00:39:09,812
Ohh!

977
00:39:17,687 --> 00:39:19,123
"You are a child!"

978
00:39:19,156 --> 00:39:21,692
- He's not British.
- Are you sure?

979
00:39:21,725 --> 00:39:23,394
What's it say on his passport?

980
00:39:23,427 --> 00:39:24,495
Pretentious?

981
00:39:24,528 --> 00:39:25,730
Is that a nationality?

982
00:39:27,864 --> 00:39:29,433
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...

983
00:39:29,933 --> 00:39:31,135
- I know you liked him.
- No,

984
00:39:31,168 --> 00:39:32,770
not really, I just...

985
00:39:33,170 --> 00:39:35,806
You know, you get
what you settle for.

986
00:39:35,839 --> 00:39:37,575
You know what I mean?

987
00:39:38,608 --> 00:39:40,811
Plus his apartment was sick!

988
00:39:40,844 --> 00:39:41,954
- Was it?
- Yeah.

989
00:39:41,978 --> 00:39:43,847
Anyway, you guys get a table,

990
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:45,680
- I'm gonna say hi to Stasia.
- I know. Great.

991
00:39:46,850 --> 00:39:49,520
Well, well, well,
look who the hell it is.

992
00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:50,754
Mwah!

993
00:39:50,787 --> 00:39:51,888
This is a surprise.

994
00:39:51,922 --> 00:39:54,825
You haven't been here once
since you started dating Paul.

995
00:39:54,858 --> 00:39:55,559
Yeah.

996
00:39:55,592 --> 00:39:56,693
Well, except that one time,

997
00:39:56,727 --> 00:39:59,163
he had an allergic reaction
to the soap in the bathroom

998
00:39:59,196 --> 00:40:00,564
and you had to leave.

999
00:40:00,864 --> 00:40:01,899
Yeah.

1000
00:40:01,932 --> 00:40:03,801
Where is His Royal Highness?

1001
00:40:04,634 --> 00:40:05,803
I think...

1002
00:40:06,570 --> 00:40:07,638
that we broke up.

1003
00:40:08,238 --> 00:40:09,238
For real?

1004
00:40:10,607 --> 00:40:11,642
For real.

1005
00:40:11,908 --> 00:40:13,710
Oh, thank God!

1006
00:40:13,743 --> 00:40:14,878
Ohh!

1007
00:40:14,911 --> 00:40:17,514
I am sorry, Samwich,
I hated him.

1008
00:40:17,547 --> 00:40:19,750
- I know!
- He was literally the worst.

1009
00:40:19,783 --> 00:40:21,685
Well, he was great in bed.

1010
00:40:22,118 --> 00:40:23,118
He was?

1011
00:40:24,254 --> 00:40:25,254
No.

1012
00:40:27,657 --> 00:40:28,726
Hi, Nick!

1013
00:40:29,426 --> 00:40:32,462
Oh my God.
He's here all the time.

1014
00:40:32,496 --> 00:40:33,764
That's so sweet.

1015
00:40:33,797 --> 00:40:35,599
It's not sweet.
It's stalkery.

1016
00:40:35,632 --> 00:40:38,068
It's not stalkery
when you're dating.

1017
00:40:38,101 --> 00:40:39,703
We are not dating. We're...

1018
00:40:40,804 --> 00:40:41,905
hanging out.

1019
00:40:41,938 --> 00:40:42,906
Well, you've been hanging out

1020
00:40:42,939 --> 00:40:43,941
for six months.

1021
00:40:43,974 --> 00:40:45,109
You're ridiculous.

1022
00:40:47,244 --> 00:40:48,745
Oh my God, Harry's here.

1023
00:40:48,778 --> 00:40:49,546
What is going on?

1024
00:40:49,579 --> 00:40:51,915
We ran into each other tonight.

1025
00:40:51,948 --> 00:40:53,850
It's a long story.
The main thing is

1026
00:40:53,884 --> 00:40:55,919
that I realized
my mistake all along

1027
00:40:55,952 --> 00:40:58,188
was thinking that we could
ever be more than friends.

1028
00:40:58,221 --> 00:41:00,757
As long as we keep it

1029
00:41:00,790 --> 00:41:02,493
in the friend zone, we're good.

1030
00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:04,595
He's fun...

1031
00:41:05,195 --> 00:41:07,731
and funny, and he's
actually pretty smart,

1032
00:41:07,764 --> 00:41:09,533
which for some reason,
I never knew, but...

1033
00:41:10,267 --> 00:41:12,903
he's definitely
not boyfriend material.

1034
00:41:13,270 --> 00:41:14,838
I need someone grown up.

1035
00:41:14,871 --> 00:41:16,807
You know what I mean?
And that's not Harry.

1036
00:41:18,108 --> 00:41:20,010
Okay, got it.
Harry it ain't.

1037
00:41:20,877 --> 00:41:22,012
Harry it ain't.

1038
00:41:22,679 --> 00:41:24,815
Now can you do your job
like a good little bar wench

1039
00:41:24,848 --> 00:41:26,116
and fetch me four beers.

1040
00:41:27,951 --> 00:41:29,687
You're so into him.

1041
00:41:30,054 --> 00:41:31,121
I am not.

1042
00:41:31,154 --> 00:41:32,589
Bro, what are you talking about?

1043
00:41:32,622 --> 00:41:33,824
Dude, you're staring at him.

1044
00:41:33,857 --> 00:41:36,593
No, I was staring
in his direction

1045
00:41:36,626 --> 00:41:39,530
because I haven't seen
Stasia in a while,

1046
00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:40,831
and I wanted to wave hello.

1047
00:41:41,331 --> 00:41:43,834
Which is something
a Neanderthal like yourself

1048
00:41:43,867 --> 00:41:45,602
would never knew is that

1049
00:41:45,635 --> 00:41:46,846
that is the
courteous thing to do.

1050
00:41:46,870 --> 00:41:49,573
Yeah, well, you've, you've always been
very courteous.

1051
00:41:49,873 --> 00:41:51,074
I am.

1052
00:41:51,107 --> 00:41:53,711
Dude, you literally farted
at the dinner table last night.

1053
00:41:54,811 --> 00:41:56,780
That was a medical condition.

1054
00:41:56,813 --> 00:41:58,849
Yeah.
You're full of shit.

1055
00:41:58,882 --> 00:42:01,118
Just like you are now, dude.
I know you.

1056
00:42:01,151 --> 00:42:02,919
Zach, shut your gob
before I tell April

1057
00:42:02,953 --> 00:42:04,721
what I saw on your computer
this morning.

1058
00:42:04,754 --> 00:42:05,889
What?

1059
00:42:05,922 --> 00:42:07,191
Okay, we're just friends, man.

1060
00:42:07,524 --> 00:42:09,827
Like, let it go.
For real.

1061
00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:11,160
For real for real?

1062
00:42:11,328 --> 00:42:12,262
For real.

1063
00:42:12,295 --> 00:42:14,164
First round's on Stasia!

1064
00:42:15,131 --> 00:42:16,567
To celebrate my breakup.

1065
00:42:18,168 --> 00:42:19,168
Stasia.

1066
00:42:19,402 --> 00:42:20,838
- Thank you.
- Mwah!

1067
00:42:21,538 --> 00:42:23,307
- See? Courteous.
- Yeah.

1068
00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:25,576
- To Sam's breakup.
- Hmm.

1069
00:42:25,842 --> 00:42:27,110
To Sam's breakup.

1070
00:42:27,143 --> 00:42:28,846
<i>♪ If we never met ♪</i>

1071
00:42:29,913 --> 00:42:32,883
<i>♪ I'd be drunk, waking up
in someone else's bed ♪</i>

1072
00:42:34,084 --> 00:42:35,752
<i>♪ I'd be lost
in a crowded room... ♪</i>

1073
00:42:42,959 --> 00:42:44,060
Aww!

1074
00:42:44,094 --> 00:42:45,262
Thanks, Harry.

1075
00:42:45,929 --> 00:42:47,898
<i>♪ What if I never
started singing? ♪</i>

1076
00:42:48,331 --> 00:42:50,034
<i>♪ What if you never ♪</i>

1077
00:42:50,501 --> 00:42:52,202
<i>♪ Told your family
you were leaving? ♪</i>

1078
00:42:52,702 --> 00:42:54,638
<i>♪ When you felt the pressure ♪</i>

1079
00:42:55,105 --> 00:42:57,007
<i>♪ There's a million
different reasons... ♪</i>

1080
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,009
Okay, one of the daughters

1081
00:42:59,042 --> 00:43:01,245
of... of the Kardashians.

1082
00:43:01,878 --> 00:43:03,255
But they don't have
the same last name!

1083
00:43:05,215 --> 00:43:07,784
There's a Kardashian daughter

1084
00:43:07,817 --> 00:43:11,922
with a different...

1085
00:43:14,824 --> 00:43:18,061
<i>♪ And baby,
when I close my eyes ♪</i>

1086
00:43:18,094 --> 00:43:19,094
<i>♪ I'm thinkin' about ♪</i>

1087
00:43:19,463 --> 00:43:20,164
<i>♪ If we never met... ♪</i>

1088
00:43:20,197 --> 00:43:22,399
best beans in the world.

1089
00:43:22,432 --> 00:43:25,769
<i>♪ I'd be drunk, waking up
in someone else's bed ♪</i>

1090
00:43:26,803 --> 00:43:29,806
<i>♪ I'd be lost in a crowded room
of fake friends ♪</i>

1091
00:43:29,839 --> 00:43:32,241
<i>♪ I wouldn't even know
what love is... ♪</i>

1092
00:43:34,811 --> 00:43:36,780
Harry, stop it.

1093
00:43:36,813 --> 00:43:38,215
All right,
enough pouting, let's go.

1094
00:43:38,782 --> 00:43:40,283
All right, dude,
are you serious?

1095
00:43:40,316 --> 00:43:41,384
Okay, no, leave it.

1096
00:43:41,418 --> 00:43:42,753
Leave it as a tip.
Come on.

1097
00:43:42,786 --> 00:43:43,754
Just drop it. Yep.

1098
00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:45,022
- Thank you.
- Let's go.

1099
00:43:45,455 --> 00:43:47,991
So that's why
the fat lady sings.

1100
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:51,996
- I don't get it.
- It's because she's...

1101
00:43:52,463 --> 00:43:54,064
Because she's happy
about all the sex.

1102
00:43:56,866 --> 00:43:59,303
- That's good!
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, got it.

1103
00:44:01,871 --> 00:44:03,106
- Oh wait, hold on.
- Oh.

1104
00:44:03,139 --> 00:44:04,341
- Eyelash.
- Oh.

1105
00:44:07,077 --> 00:44:08,112
Make a wish.

1106
00:44:09,112 --> 00:44:10,112
Um...

1107
00:44:12,015 --> 00:44:13,951
<i>♪ If we never met... ♪</i>

1108
00:44:16,052 --> 00:44:17,052
I gotta pee.

1109
00:44:19,189 --> 00:44:21,758
<i>♪ I'd be lost in a crowded room
of fake friends... ♪</i>

1110
00:44:28,998 --> 00:44:31,835
Hey, thanks for helping out
at Pride today.

1111
00:44:31,868 --> 00:44:32,936
You were great.

1112
00:44:32,969 --> 00:44:34,304
We got a lot
of voters signed up.

1113
00:44:34,337 --> 00:44:36,406
Oh yeah, you can't say no
to Sam, right?

1114
00:44:37,474 --> 00:44:38,709
Speaking of Sam,

1115
00:44:38,742 --> 00:44:40,077
are you guys like a thing?

1116
00:44:40,477 --> 00:44:41,979
Like, a, a couple?

1117
00:44:42,412 --> 00:44:43,846
- Me and Sam?
- Yeah.

1118
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,250
Uh... no, no,
we're just friends, but...

1119
00:44:47,283 --> 00:44:50,020
Okay, cool, would you happen
to know if he's seeing anybody?

1120
00:44:52,522 --> 00:44:55,325
Uh, if Sam is seeing anyone?

1121
00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:01,298
Uh, no. He's, he's not.

1122
00:45:01,331 --> 00:45:02,966
You know, I just wanted
to make sure

1123
00:45:02,999 --> 00:45:04,033
before I ask him out.

1124
00:45:04,834 --> 00:45:07,004
Yeah, uh, I mean,
you should definitely do that.

1125
00:45:07,637 --> 00:45:10,107
But you should know that he's...

1126
00:45:11,207 --> 00:45:12,375
he's pretty much straight.

1127
00:45:12,408 --> 00:45:13,711
Here we go!

1128
00:45:18,214 --> 00:45:19,717
He's s-straight?

1129
00:45:20,083 --> 00:45:21,083
Really?

1130
00:45:22,485 --> 00:45:24,221
Wow, did not see that coming.

1131
00:45:24,721 --> 00:45:27,257
<i>♪ Everybody needs somebody ♪</i>

1132
00:45:28,792 --> 00:45:31,261
♪ We can't make it
on our own ♪

1133
00:45:32,395 --> 00:45:35,099
♪ Turnin' up late
at the party ♪

1134
00:45:35,365 --> 00:45:37,500
♪ Ain't goin' home ♪

1135
00:45:39,068 --> 00:45:41,138
♪ Let me take you there ♪

1136
00:45:46,442 --> 00:45:48,112
<i>♪ Let me take you there ♪</i>

1137
00:45:50,947 --> 00:45:53,083
Hey, Sam, let's go have
another drink, all right.

1138
00:45:53,116 --> 00:45:54,217
I don't think I can.

1139
00:45:54,250 --> 00:45:56,386
I am o-blitch-erated.

1140
00:45:56,419 --> 00:45:58,020
We're gonna get
another drink, all right.

1141
00:45:58,054 --> 00:45:59,823
Get it, bitches! Whoo!

1142
00:46:00,590 --> 00:46:03,160
♪ Oh, come on,
stay the night, yeah ♪

1143
00:46:03,193 --> 00:46:04,228
<i>♪ Stay the night, yeah ♪</i>

1144
00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:07,197
Hey, two, two tequila shots
and a couple beers.

1145
00:46:07,230 --> 00:46:09,133
Shots? Harry, no!

1146
00:46:12,569 --> 00:46:13,570
Bottoms up.

1147
00:46:13,603 --> 00:46:15,539
Tops, too!
Don't be bottomist.

1148
00:46:16,906 --> 00:46:20,110
<i>Happy Pride, Chicago!</i>

1149
00:46:21,277 --> 00:46:23,246
<i>How is everybody
feeling tonight?</i>

1150
00:46:24,981 --> 00:46:27,084
<i>Can you feel the love?</i>

1151
00:46:27,317 --> 00:46:29,553
<i>'Cause that's what it's
all about, right? Love.</i>

1152
00:46:29,586 --> 00:46:32,254
<i>Everybody wants it.
Everybody needs it.</i>

1153
00:46:32,288 --> 00:46:34,524
<i>So why aren't we giving it away?</i>

1154
00:46:34,557 --> 00:46:36,091
Whoo!

1155
00:46:36,125 --> 00:46:37,060
<i>What are you waiting for?</i>

1156
00:46:37,093 --> 00:46:38,796
<i>Find you some love tonight.</i>

1157
00:46:39,363 --> 00:46:40,931
<i>Or at least get you some ass.</i>

1158
00:46:47,971 --> 00:46:48,971
What?

1159
00:46:51,474 --> 00:46:53,844
S-so did you mean
that thing you said?

1160
00:46:54,211 --> 00:46:57,147
About how when guys
become friends,

1161
00:46:57,180 --> 00:46:59,015
they can never be
anything more than that?

1162
00:46:59,582 --> 00:47:01,984
One billion percent.

1163
00:47:02,018 --> 00:47:04,120
You either end up having bad sex

1164
00:47:04,153 --> 00:47:06,156
or ruining
the friendship, or both.

1165
00:47:06,189 --> 00:47:07,857
And there's no exceptions?

1166
00:47:07,891 --> 00:47:09,526
Like, ever?

1167
00:47:10,493 --> 00:47:12,496
None. Zero.

1168
00:47:13,963 --> 00:47:15,232
No even for...

1169
00:47:16,599 --> 00:47:17,968
you and me?

1170
00:47:19,969 --> 00:47:21,471
Not even you and me.

1171
00:47:23,373 --> 00:47:26,309
Like I'm going to date the guy
who bails on relationship

1172
00:47:26,342 --> 00:47:29,146
faster than my parents' dog
eats cat poop.

1173
00:47:32,315 --> 00:47:35,018
Oh my God, I love this song!

1174
00:47:35,318 --> 00:47:38,121
Whoo!

1175
00:47:39,022 --> 00:47:41,091
<i>♪ I want you ♪</i>

1176
00:47:42,659 --> 00:47:44,294
<i>♪ Baby, be mine ♪</i>

1177
00:47:44,327 --> 00:47:45,629
<i>♪ Won't you be mine? ♪</i>

1178
00:47:46,162 --> 00:47:46,863
<i>♪ Won't you be mine? ♪</i>

1179
00:47:46,896 --> 00:47:48,999
<i>♪ Wanna make you mine, boy ♪</i>

1180
00:47:51,267 --> 00:47:53,203
<i>♪ Tell me now
what can I do... ♪</i>

1181
00:47:53,736 --> 00:47:55,239
I'm gonna go find my friends!

1182
00:47:55,572 --> 00:47:56,907
Happy Pride!

1183
00:47:58,408 --> 00:48:02,179
<i>♪ What can I do?
What can I do? ♪</i>

1184
00:48:02,512 --> 00:48:06,249
<i>♪ What can I do
to make you my lover? ♪</i>

1185
00:48:06,282 --> 00:48:08,952
<i>♪ What can I do?
What can I do? ♪</i>

1186
00:48:15,358 --> 00:48:17,227
Damn, Stasia<i>,</i>

1187
00:48:17,260 --> 00:48:19,229
leave it to you to find
the only straight guy<i>...</i>

1188
00:48:38,681 --> 00:48:41,418
<i>♪ Kiss, kiss, kiss,
kiss, kiss, kiss, ♪</i>

1189
00:48:41,451 --> 00:48:42,451
<i>♪ Kiss my lips ♪</i>

1190
00:48:51,294 --> 00:48:53,997
Um, when did you become
the world's laziest roommate?

1191
00:48:55,131 --> 00:48:56,299
Don't worry. I'll get it.

1192
00:48:56,733 --> 00:48:58,268
Oh. Harry's here.

1193
00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:01,972
- Hi, Harry.
- Hey.

1194
00:49:02,005 --> 00:49:03,805
- How're you doing?
- What's up?

1195
00:49:07,543 --> 00:49:08,545
Hey, Samwich!

1196
00:49:16,352 --> 00:49:17,352
What?

1197
00:49:18,154 --> 00:49:20,290
You never call me that.
That's Stasia's name for me.

1198
00:49:21,758 --> 00:49:23,192
- Oh, is it?
- Hmm.

1199
00:49:24,327 --> 00:49:25,996
Heh. I guess it is.

1200
00:49:28,598 --> 00:49:29,599
Those donuts?

1201
00:49:46,516 --> 00:49:47,751
Is Harry here?

1202
00:49:49,385 --> 00:49:51,321
I thought he was
up there. With you.

1203
00:49:54,424 --> 00:49:55,425
Huh.

1204
00:49:57,126 --> 00:49:58,126
Whatcha playin'?

1205
00:49:58,628 --> 00:49:59,462
<i>Crackdown 3.</i>

1206
00:49:59,495 --> 00:50:00,596
Oh, I love that game!

1207
00:50:02,432 --> 00:50:03,466
Let's get it, girl!

1208
00:50:08,704 --> 00:50:09,472
<i>So listen,</i>

1209
00:50:09,505 --> 00:50:11,441
can I tell you something<i>?</i>

1210
00:50:11,941 --> 00:50:13,209
Oh yeah?
What's that?

1211
00:50:13,643 --> 00:50:15,111
It's, it's nothing bad.

1212
00:50:15,144 --> 00:50:16,712
Oh, I didn't think it was...

1213
00:50:18,214 --> 00:50:20,482
Good. I just,
whenever anyone says,

1214
00:50:20,516 --> 00:50:23,119
"We need to talk,"
it's usually something bad, so...

1215
00:50:23,152 --> 00:50:24,521
Oh, well, you didn't.

1216
00:50:24,554 --> 00:50:25,355
What?

1217
00:50:25,388 --> 00:50:27,323
You didn't say,
"We need to talk."

1218
00:50:27,356 --> 00:50:28,956
You said, "I have
to tell you something."

1219
00:50:30,493 --> 00:50:32,162
Oh, I, I...

1220
00:50:32,695 --> 00:50:34,164
Yes, I did.

1221
00:50:37,533 --> 00:50:38,668
So?

1222
00:50:41,170 --> 00:50:44,374
So, uh, Stasia and I...

1223
00:50:44,907 --> 00:50:47,310
kinda made out last night.

1224
00:50:47,343 --> 00:50:48,377
Oh wow!

1225
00:50:48,411 --> 00:50:49,646
That's... Ooh.

1226
00:50:49,679 --> 00:50:52,515
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
At, uh, Pride.

1227
00:50:52,548 --> 00:50:54,084
- Hmm.
- I hope that's okay.

1228
00:50:54,117 --> 00:50:55,419
Yeah, why wouldn't it be?

1229
00:50:56,419 --> 00:50:57,419
Right.

1230
00:50:57,987 --> 00:50:59,856
I mean, I, I told Stasia that,

1231
00:50:59,889 --> 00:51:02,258
but she kinda got
in my head a little bit.

1232
00:51:02,291 --> 00:51:04,828
So I, uh, snuck out as soon
as I woke up this morning.

1233
00:51:07,597 --> 00:51:09,232
You snuck out of where?

1234
00:51:11,534 --> 00:51:13,103
My bedroom?

1235
00:51:15,238 --> 00:51:16,239
<i>So...</i>

1236
00:51:16,806 --> 00:51:18,608
you and Harry have
a good time last night?

1237
00:51:19,775 --> 00:51:21,578
As a matter of fact,
we did. Why?

1238
00:51:22,245 --> 00:51:23,379
No reason.

1239
00:51:23,412 --> 00:51:26,281
Just, uh... I'm glad
it was a fun time

1240
00:51:26,315 --> 00:51:28,435
if you're both gonna ruin
your relationships with Sam.

1241
00:51:29,752 --> 00:51:32,122
We didn't.
Sam's not gonna care.

1242
00:51:32,789 --> 00:51:33,866
I mean, Sam's not
into Harry that way.

1243
00:51:33,890 --> 00:51:36,725
He said so.
Like... multiple times.

1244
00:51:37,293 --> 00:51:38,395
Okay.

1245
00:51:39,595 --> 00:51:40,595
What?

1246
00:51:41,564 --> 00:51:43,299
You think he's gonna be weird?

1247
00:51:46,435 --> 00:51:48,872
Stasia... spent the night?

1248
00:51:49,572 --> 00:51:50,573
Uh... yeah.

1249
00:51:50,606 --> 00:51:52,142
- And you guys...
- Uh-huh.

1250
00:51:54,243 --> 00:51:55,243
Cool.

1251
00:51:57,580 --> 00:52:00,783
What, you couldn't find any
other randos to hook up with?

1252
00:52:00,816 --> 00:52:02,427
So you had to start poaching
from the home team?

1253
00:52:02,451 --> 00:52:03,753
Wha... hey,
no, no, no. I...

1254
00:52:03,786 --> 00:52:07,257
It wasn't like another one-night stand
or anything like that.

1255
00:52:07,290 --> 00:52:09,259
No, we didn't just smash
and dash, you know.

1256
00:52:09,292 --> 00:52:11,560
We didn't just
sleep together, Zach. Okay.

1257
00:52:12,261 --> 00:52:14,230
We actually like
each other, all right.

1258
00:52:14,263 --> 00:52:16,299
That's... great!

1259
00:52:16,332 --> 00:52:18,334
Yeah, she's really funny

1260
00:52:18,367 --> 00:52:19,702
an-an-and fun.

1261
00:52:19,735 --> 00:52:21,471
He's actually really smart.

1262
00:52:22,104 --> 00:52:23,882
- Really smart?
- You know, and he's not all clingy...

1263
00:52:23,906 --> 00:52:25,909
An-and she's so, you know...

1264
00:52:26,642 --> 00:52:27,642
her own person.

1265
00:52:28,444 --> 00:52:29,446
Like you.

1266
00:52:30,447 --> 00:52:32,582
I woke up this morning,
and he wasn't even there.

1267
00:52:32,615 --> 00:52:33,616
And you liked that?

1268
00:52:35,551 --> 00:52:37,754
- Maybe you two are perfect for each other.
- Right?

1269
00:52:38,788 --> 00:52:40,523
I mean, how crazy would it be.

1270
00:52:40,556 --> 00:52:42,892
If your two best friends

1271
00:52:42,925 --> 00:52:45,228
became, like, a couple.

1272
00:52:47,530 --> 00:52:48,765
A couple.

1273
00:52:48,798 --> 00:52:50,466
That would be crazy.

1274
00:52:53,603 --> 00:52:56,839
Well, I, I should probably
get back to Stasia.

1275
00:52:56,872 --> 00:52:58,375
She's gonna wonder where I am.

1276
00:52:59,675 --> 00:53:00,944
Maybe I should take those.

1277
00:53:00,977 --> 00:53:03,613
I could tell her
I went to get donuts.

1278
00:53:06,649 --> 00:53:07,649
Yeah.

1279
00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:08,851
Yeah.

1280
00:53:15,491 --> 00:53:16,491
I love you, man.

1281
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:18,560
I love you too.

1282
00:53:38,547 --> 00:53:39,616
Who wants mimosas?

1283
00:53:39,649 --> 00:53:40,683
Me!

1284
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:45,355
I heard you got a new job?

1285
00:53:45,388 --> 00:53:47,457
Yes! Finally!
No more bartending!

1286
00:53:52,728 --> 00:53:53,730
So what is it?

1287
00:53:54,497 --> 00:53:57,734
Oh, uh, I'm working
for Windy City Beat,

1288
00:53:57,767 --> 00:53:59,502
doing all their, like,
alt events and stuff.

1289
00:53:59,902 --> 00:54:01,271
Oh great.

1290
00:54:01,304 --> 00:54:02,547
Yeah, they wanted someone
to curate a bunch

1291
00:54:02,571 --> 00:54:04,774
of cool, non-touristy stuff
every week, so...

1292
00:54:05,407 --> 00:54:06,976
Sounds perfect for you.

1293
00:54:07,009 --> 00:54:08,311
It is!

1294
00:54:09,745 --> 00:54:11,590
And what about you? You still
working down at the Pier?

1295
00:54:11,614 --> 00:54:14,284
Uh, no.
God, no, um...

1296
00:54:14,884 --> 00:54:18,288
Actually, Stasia got me a job
bar-backing at G and O.

1297
00:54:20,089 --> 00:54:21,691
Wow, nice.

1298
00:54:22,792 --> 00:54:24,894
Yeah, but then
she up and left me, so...

1299
00:54:24,927 --> 00:54:26,296
I up and left him.

1300
00:54:27,463 --> 00:54:28,664
Aw, so sad.

1301
00:54:28,698 --> 00:54:30,900
Uh, waitress!
Uh, we're gonna need a lot more alcohol,

1302
00:54:30,933 --> 00:54:32,569
like, right now.

1303
00:54:33,036 --> 00:54:34,671
- Thanks.
- Oh my God, Zach.

1304
00:54:34,704 --> 00:54:36,306
- Ha ha ha!
- So stupid.

1305
00:54:48,517 --> 00:54:50,687
And I knew he was lying.

1306
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:54,658
Who would have improv rehearsal
after midnight?

1307
00:54:55,658 --> 00:54:58,627
A lying liar, that's who.

1308
00:54:59,161 --> 00:55:01,431
But Malcolm,
he would never admit

1309
00:55:01,464 --> 00:55:02,766
that anything was going on.

1310
00:55:03,066 --> 00:55:04,100
No, no, no.

1311
00:55:04,133 --> 00:55:05,768
Not me, he said.

1312
00:55:05,801 --> 00:55:09,072
I would never sleep
with Doug or Eddie.

1313
00:55:09,105 --> 00:55:10,307
Sam.

1314
00:55:10,940 --> 00:55:12,442
Why are you talking about this?

1315
00:55:12,475 --> 00:55:13,777
This happened a long time ago.

1316
00:55:15,644 --> 00:55:16,745
And then...

1317
00:55:17,279 --> 00:55:19,582
I came home early one day

1318
00:55:19,615 --> 00:55:20,683
and I caught him

1319
00:55:21,251 --> 00:55:23,619
in the shower with Doug.

1320
00:55:23,652 --> 00:55:24,787
And Eddie.

1321
00:55:24,820 --> 00:55:26,489
There he was.

1322
00:55:26,789 --> 00:55:27,791
Malcolm in the Middle.

1323
00:55:29,625 --> 00:55:30,625
You know what I mean?

1324
00:55:32,795 --> 00:55:33,830
But it's okay.

1325
00:55:34,697 --> 00:55:36,766
Just... you gotta move on.

1326
00:55:37,933 --> 00:55:38,935
Like Harry.

1327
00:55:39,568 --> 00:55:41,805
Harry moves on all the time.

1328
00:55:42,138 --> 00:55:43,473
That's what he does.

1329
00:55:44,807 --> 00:55:45,841
Whenever things get...

1330
00:55:47,676 --> 00:55:49,612
hairy.

1331
00:55:49,645 --> 00:55:50,645
Get it?

1332
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:53,783
As soon as things get hard,

1333
00:55:53,816 --> 00:55:54,917
Harry just

1334
00:55:54,950 --> 00:55:56,551
cuts and runs, you know.

1335
00:55:56,585 --> 00:55:59,122
That's just
the thing about Harry.

1336
00:56:00,156 --> 00:56:01,657
Cut and run.

1337
00:56:01,690 --> 00:56:02,825
Just for fun.

1338
00:56:02,858 --> 00:56:04,527
- Harry's my name.
- Sam.

1339
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:05,795
That's my game.

1340
00:56:05,828 --> 00:56:06,828
Sam.

1341
00:56:07,296 --> 00:56:08,698
But when he does that,

1342
00:56:09,832 --> 00:56:10,832
I'll be here.

1343
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:12,368
For you.

1344
00:56:12,802 --> 00:56:13,903
Stasia.

1345
00:56:15,070 --> 00:56:16,773
Anastasia.

1346
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:19,976
Anaphylaxis.

1347
00:56:21,777 --> 00:56:23,579
See, now that's
a good drag name,

1348
00:56:23,612 --> 00:56:24,781
Ana Phylaxis.

1349
00:56:25,414 --> 00:56:27,016
One bite and she'll kill you.

1350
00:56:29,785 --> 00:56:33,089
Oh see. Look,
she's in anaphylaxis shock!

1351
00:56:36,592 --> 00:56:37,694
You're an asshole.

1352
00:56:39,094 --> 00:56:40,463
Oh!

1353
00:56:41,931 --> 00:56:43,166
Thanks, man.

1354
00:57:24,206 --> 00:57:26,809
Am I to surmise from the fact
that you're sitting here in the dark

1355
00:57:26,842 --> 00:57:28,978
that brunch did not go quite
as you might have liked.

1356
00:57:29,578 --> 00:57:32,114
There have been funerals
for children

1357
00:57:32,147 --> 00:57:33,925
- that aren't as awful as that brunch was.
- Oh!

1358
00:57:33,949 --> 00:57:36,786
Oh my God, I'm sorry.

1359
00:57:37,319 --> 00:57:39,456
Well, at least you did it.

1360
00:57:40,789 --> 00:57:41,825
Good for you.

1361
00:57:42,258 --> 00:57:43,593
Good for me.

1362
00:57:46,829 --> 00:57:48,664
Hey, have you heard of, um,

1363
00:57:48,697 --> 00:57:50,934
of that new gay dating app?

1364
00:57:51,401 --> 00:57:53,603
Buff or Gruff or...

1365
00:57:54,770 --> 00:57:55,770
No.

1366
00:57:56,139 --> 00:57:57,240
Why, are you leaving Eddie?

1367
00:57:57,840 --> 00:57:59,075
Looking to spice things up?

1368
00:57:59,108 --> 00:58:01,144
No, dumb-ass. For you.

1369
00:58:01,477 --> 00:58:03,745
I'm not signing up for some...

1370
00:58:03,779 --> 00:58:05,615
Look, it doesn't have
to be that,

1371
00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:08,251
but I did not
March on Washington

1372
00:58:08,284 --> 00:58:10,920
and Act-up and Fight AIDS
for all of those years

1373
00:58:10,953 --> 00:58:13,288
so that you
could waste your life,

1374
00:58:13,322 --> 00:58:15,825
locked in that
malodorous bedroom,

1375
00:58:15,858 --> 00:58:18,227
furiously masturbating
to what can only be described

1376
00:58:18,260 --> 00:58:21,030
as moderately shameful
amateur pornography.

1377
00:58:21,497 --> 00:58:23,232
And listen,
if you want some privacy,

1378
00:58:23,265 --> 00:58:24,767
you need to invest
in headphones.

1379
00:58:25,801 --> 00:58:27,837
But I'm worried
about your health.

1380
00:58:28,170 --> 00:58:30,606
I mean, my God,
your poor bologna pony

1381
00:58:30,639 --> 00:58:31,707
must need a break.

1382
00:58:31,740 --> 00:58:32,674
Is it, is it bruised?

1383
00:58:32,708 --> 00:58:34,277
- Or chafed?
- Okay.

1384
00:58:34,310 --> 00:58:35,878
Does it need arnica ointment...

1385
00:58:35,911 --> 00:58:39,949
Okay, I will do...
something.

1386
00:58:39,982 --> 00:58:41,951
Just please stop talking
about my penis.

1387
00:58:41,984 --> 00:58:43,019
Fine.

1388
00:58:46,655 --> 00:58:48,135
You deserve someone
to love, you know.

1389
00:58:50,993 --> 00:58:51,995
And someone to love you.

1390
00:58:53,862 --> 00:58:55,798
And seriously,
if you need arnica,

1391
00:58:55,831 --> 00:58:56,933
I have some right upstairs.

1392
00:58:56,966 --> 00:58:58,134
Go!

1393
00:58:58,901 --> 00:58:59,901
All right.

1394
00:59:01,604 --> 00:59:02,672
But do the dating app.

1395
00:59:02,905 --> 00:59:03,907
One date.

1396
00:59:04,407 --> 00:59:05,842
Or else I'm raising your rent.

1397
00:59:14,950 --> 00:59:16,218
<i>Let's meet at Em's.</i>

1398
00:59:16,586 --> 00:59:18,687
<i>I'll be in the fourth booth
from the door,</i>

1399
00:59:18,721 --> 00:59:19,989
<i>wearing a green polo.</i>

1400
00:59:20,022 --> 00:59:21,123
<i>A blue polo.</i>

1401
00:59:21,156 --> 00:59:22,358
<i>A lime polo.</i>

1402
00:59:22,391 --> 00:59:23,927
<i>A burnt orange polo.</i>

1403
00:59:24,627 --> 00:59:26,962
<i>We can check each other out
and have a drink.</i>

1404
00:59:26,996 --> 00:59:29,277
<i>And if we both agree
that the first drink goes well, well,</i>

1405
00:59:29,598 --> 00:59:31,033
<i>we can take it from there.</i>

1406
00:59:31,066 --> 00:59:32,066
Hey.

1407
00:59:33,769 --> 00:59:34,971
Oh!

1408
00:59:36,071 --> 00:59:38,007
Sorry, I, uh, I think I'm having

1409
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:39,141
an allergic reaction

1410
00:59:39,174 --> 00:59:41,644
to... something.

1411
00:59:42,611 --> 00:59:45,647
Listen, may be better
we just call it a night.

1412
00:59:50,352 --> 00:59:52,321
So, now I'm on my third race
for alderman.

1413
00:59:52,354 --> 00:59:54,790
I mostly do
volunteer coordination,

1414
00:59:54,823 --> 00:59:56,034
get out the vote,
stuff like that.

1415
00:59:56,058 --> 00:59:57,293
I work in politics too!

1416
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:00,029
- No way.
- Well, I used to.

1417
01:00:00,062 --> 01:00:02,131
Now I just help run
the Obamas' local foundation.

1418
01:00:04,199 --> 01:00:05,735
You wanna get outta here?

1419
01:00:10,806 --> 01:00:12,909
<i>♪ I've been thinking
'bout you ♪</i>

1420
01:00:15,110 --> 01:00:18,147
<i>♪ Wondering who's stuck
in your head at night... ♪</i>

1421
01:00:18,747 --> 01:00:19,781
<i>And I'm a Cubs guy.</i>

1422
01:00:19,815 --> 01:00:21,917
I mean, you gotta pull
for the underdogs, right?

1423
01:00:21,950 --> 01:00:23,285
That's what I always say.

1424
01:00:25,854 --> 01:00:26,922
Uh, ow.

1425
01:00:26,955 --> 01:00:28,223
Sorry, you, uh...

1426
01:00:28,257 --> 01:00:29,692
you had something in your hair.

1427
01:00:30,125 --> 01:00:32,094
- Oh, thanks.
- You were saying.

1428
01:00:32,127 --> 01:00:33,127
Oh yeah.

1429
01:00:33,462 --> 01:00:34,964
I like you.

1430
01:00:34,997 --> 01:00:36,098
A lot.

1431
01:00:36,131 --> 01:00:37,275
I don't like
to take things too fast

1432
01:00:37,299 --> 01:00:40,069
- before we talk about monogamy.
- Yeah, no worries.

1433
01:00:40,102 --> 01:00:43,022
- It's just really not my thing.
- Once we get serious, I'm super faithful.

1434
01:00:45,007 --> 01:00:46,009
Oh!

1435
01:00:47,076 --> 01:00:49,779
<i>♪ Early in the morning ♪</i>

1436
01:00:51,013 --> 01:00:53,281
<i>♪ Think about you
all day... ♪</i>

1437
01:00:56,185 --> 01:00:57,119
Nice to meet you.

1438
01:00:57,152 --> 01:00:58,888
It's nice to meet you too.

1439
01:00:59,688 --> 01:01:01,957
I've been on a few
messy ones of these,

1440
01:01:01,990 --> 01:01:04,426
so it's nice to meet
someone cool.

1441
01:01:04,927 --> 01:01:07,130
You are really handsome.

1442
01:01:08,363 --> 01:01:09,799
Wow, thanks.

1443
01:01:10,799 --> 01:01:11,799
Back at ya.

1444
01:01:12,735 --> 01:01:14,704
I'm sorry. I don't think
I ever got your name?

1445
01:01:15,104 --> 01:01:16,138
I'm Sam.

1446
01:01:16,805 --> 01:01:17,805
How about you?

1447
01:01:18,140 --> 01:01:19,140
I'm Harry.

1448
01:01:19,308 --> 01:01:20,376
I gotta go.

1449
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:39,160
You're home?

1450
01:01:39,429 --> 01:01:40,429
How was it?

1451
01:01:41,363 --> 01:01:43,299
- Not for me.
- Why not?

1452
01:01:44,133 --> 01:01:45,134
Just wasn't.

1453
01:01:46,935 --> 01:01:49,404
You keep finding problems
with everyone.

1454
01:01:49,638 --> 01:01:51,406
They can't all be the wrong guy.

1455
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:53,942
What was he?
Stinky? Wiggy?

1456
01:01:54,376 --> 01:01:55,344
Non-monogamy-y?

1457
01:01:55,377 --> 01:01:56,379
No.

1458
01:01:58,046 --> 01:01:59,046
Harry.

1459
01:01:59,481 --> 01:02:01,350
Like, super hairy?

1460
01:02:01,383 --> 01:02:03,086
- Uhh...
- Like, fuzzy all over?

1461
01:02:03,453 --> 01:02:05,063
You know, I used to date
this total sasquatch.

1462
01:02:05,087 --> 01:02:07,223
Loved it.
Never needed a blanket.

1463
01:02:07,256 --> 01:02:09,725
No. He was great.

1464
01:02:10,126 --> 01:02:12,795
Smart, funny, handsome.

1465
01:02:13,295 --> 01:02:15,030
Moderately hirsute.

1466
01:02:15,063 --> 01:02:16,099
So?

1467
01:02:17,232 --> 01:02:19,268
His name was Harry.

1468
01:02:19,868 --> 01:02:20,868
Oh.

1469
01:02:21,436 --> 01:02:23,039
He wasn't your Harry, huh?

1470
01:02:25,107 --> 01:02:26,242
Oh baby.

1471
01:02:39,421 --> 01:02:41,089
Obviously, it's January.

1472
01:02:41,123 --> 01:02:42,858
It's too cold for canvassing.

1473
01:02:42,891 --> 01:02:44,093
But we've got training events

1474
01:02:44,126 --> 01:02:45,561
every weekend
from now until March,

1475
01:02:45,594 --> 01:02:47,572
when we should be able
to start hitting the streets.

1476
01:02:47,596 --> 01:02:49,365
So, uh, we're in a good place.

1477
01:02:49,398 --> 01:02:51,075
Uh, I'll get you
the final volunteer numbers.

1478
01:02:51,099 --> 01:02:52,135
Thanks, guys.

1479
01:03:00,442 --> 01:03:01,477
Hi.

1480
01:03:09,918 --> 01:03:11,053
So I'm getting married.

1481
01:03:13,121 --> 01:03:14,223
You...

1482
01:03:15,290 --> 01:03:16,290
You're, uh...

1483
01:03:17,125 --> 01:03:19,228
Oh my God!
Congratulations!

1484
01:03:22,631 --> 01:03:23,933
Look...

1485
01:03:24,633 --> 01:03:27,169
I know we haven't been
exactly close the last year.

1486
01:03:28,937 --> 01:03:30,415
God, what's it been,
like a year and a half?

1487
01:03:30,439 --> 01:03:31,374
Well, yeah.

1488
01:03:31,407 --> 01:03:33,276
You know what?
It doesn't matter. Anyway, um...

1489
01:03:34,877 --> 01:03:36,112
the thing is...

1490
01:03:36,612 --> 01:03:38,247
I don't really like
a lot of people...

1491
01:03:39,448 --> 01:03:40,950
except you...

1492
01:03:42,184 --> 01:03:43,586
well, and my fiancé, I guess.

1493
01:03:45,287 --> 01:03:46,287
And, um...

1494
01:03:46,922 --> 01:03:49,024
I just can't imagine
getting married

1495
01:03:49,057 --> 01:03:50,158
without you there.

1496
01:03:51,293 --> 01:03:54,196
I mean, you've been my best friend since
the first day of college,

1497
01:03:54,229 --> 01:03:55,229
and I just...

1498
01:03:57,266 --> 01:03:59,435
Is there any chance
you'd be my Man of Honor?

1499
01:04:02,004 --> 01:04:03,139
"Man of Honor"?

1500
01:04:04,606 --> 01:04:05,608
Uh...

1501
01:04:06,541 --> 01:04:08,077
Is that even a thing?

1502
01:04:09,311 --> 01:04:10,847
It is if I say it is.

1503
01:04:15,050 --> 01:04:16,118
Is Harry cool with it?

1504
01:04:17,452 --> 01:04:18,888
I mean...

1505
01:04:18,921 --> 01:04:20,955
I assume so, but...

1506
01:04:20,989 --> 01:04:22,589
Well, don't you think
you should ask him?

1507
01:04:24,326 --> 01:04:26,362
Why would...
why would I do that?

1508
01:04:27,496 --> 01:04:28,898
Because he's the groom?

1509
01:04:30,666 --> 01:04:32,301
Oh no.

1510
01:04:32,734 --> 01:04:34,336
No, no, no, I'm not...

1511
01:04:34,369 --> 01:04:36,238
No, I'm not...
I'm not marrying Harry.

1512
01:04:36,271 --> 01:04:37,271
I'm marrying Zach.

1513
01:04:39,174 --> 01:04:40,309
You... you're...

1514
01:04:41,310 --> 01:04:42,378
Zach?

1515
01:04:42,878 --> 01:04:44,247
You didn't know?

1516
01:04:45,047 --> 01:04:47,082
No! No! No!

1517
01:04:47,115 --> 01:04:49,151
I mean, I stopped following you guys

1518
01:04:49,184 --> 01:04:50,386
on social media, and then I...

1519
01:04:51,220 --> 01:04:53,321
I kinda wondered why
you never got back to me

1520
01:04:53,355 --> 01:04:55,457
when I texted you
after Harry and me broke up.

1521
01:04:55,490 --> 01:04:57,660
You didn't say that
it was about that.

1522
01:04:57,693 --> 01:05:00,296
And then, and then,
you know, I was a little...

1523
01:05:01,096 --> 01:05:04,266
embarrassed about the way
that I acted at brunch, but...

1524
01:05:04,299 --> 01:05:06,201
Oh my God, I'm sorry.

1525
01:05:06,234 --> 01:05:07,536
And when I didn't hear from you.

1526
01:05:07,569 --> 01:05:09,371
I, I figured you didn't
wanna hear from me,

1527
01:05:09,404 --> 01:05:10,072
- so...
- I...

1528
01:05:10,105 --> 01:05:12,341
Oh my God!
I am sorry too.

1529
01:05:12,741 --> 01:05:14,476
But then this happened,

1530
01:05:14,509 --> 01:05:17,113
and I figured somebody had to make
the first move. So...

1531
01:05:20,582 --> 01:05:23,319
The only reason Harry and I
lasted as long as we did

1532
01:05:23,352 --> 01:05:25,221
is because we both felt so...

1533
01:05:25,921 --> 01:05:28,390
shitty about what we did to you

1534
01:05:28,423 --> 01:05:29,591
that we kind of...

1535
01:05:31,293 --> 01:05:33,129
had to make it work, you know.

1536
01:05:34,063 --> 01:05:36,103
Well, that and we did really
want to prove you wrong

1537
01:05:36,131 --> 01:05:38,401
after all that nasty stuff
you said at brunch, but

1538
01:05:40,002 --> 01:05:41,270
mostly, we felt like...

1539
01:05:42,371 --> 01:05:45,174
if we ruined our friendships
with you...

1540
01:05:46,174 --> 01:05:47,276
it had to be love.

1541
01:05:48,310 --> 01:05:50,645
Only... it wasn't.

1542
01:05:54,316 --> 01:05:56,285
And I finally realized

1543
01:05:56,318 --> 01:05:59,088
that every time I was going
over to their apartment,

1544
01:05:59,121 --> 01:06:01,624
the person I was hoping
would open the door was...

1545
01:06:04,292 --> 01:06:05,361
Zach.

1546
01:06:05,961 --> 01:06:08,596
And I tried to fight it.
I mean, I really did.

1547
01:06:08,630 --> 01:06:11,100
Zach is so straight and average.

1548
01:06:11,133 --> 01:06:12,968
You know how I feel about that.

1549
01:06:16,438 --> 01:06:17,606
I don't know.

1550
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:19,442
I just...

1551
01:06:21,443 --> 01:06:23,446
I just love him so much.

1552
01:06:24,079 --> 01:06:28,283
And the gravitational
pull of that is

1553
01:06:28,316 --> 01:06:31,086
so much greater than any ideas

1554
01:06:31,119 --> 01:06:33,322
I had about myself or my life.

1555
01:06:35,323 --> 01:06:36,525
So...

1556
01:06:38,794 --> 01:06:40,029
what do you think?

1557
01:06:44,766 --> 01:06:46,202
Will Harry be there?

1558
01:06:46,835 --> 01:06:49,071
Oh no. No, he's, like,
really mad at us.

1559
01:06:51,306 --> 01:06:52,341
Yes.

1560
01:06:52,374 --> 01:06:54,142
Yeah, I would be honored.

1561
01:06:54,476 --> 01:06:55,476
- When is it?
- Oh!

1562
01:06:57,446 --> 01:06:59,214
Valentine's Day.

1563
01:06:59,247 --> 01:07:01,316
- Ugh. Isn't that gross?
- Oh ho ho!

1564
01:07:01,349 --> 01:07:03,819
But Zach's parents got married
on Valentine's Day,

1565
01:07:03,852 --> 01:07:05,287
and it was important
to him, so...

1566
01:07:06,354 --> 01:07:07,388
But don't worry, okay.

1567
01:07:07,422 --> 01:07:08,757
We're not doing
a rehearsal dinner

1568
01:07:08,790 --> 01:07:10,292
or bachelorette party

1569
01:07:10,325 --> 01:07:11,292
or shower or anything like that.

1570
01:07:11,326 --> 01:07:13,462
<i>- Just a simple party</i>

1571
01:07:13,495 --> 01:07:15,031
<i>that night.</i>

1572
01:07:30,712 --> 01:07:31,780
Wow!

1573
01:07:31,813 --> 01:07:33,415
You look amazing.

1574
01:07:33,448 --> 01:07:34,549
You like?

1575
01:07:34,583 --> 01:07:37,219
A twist on the traditional.
Like me!

1576
01:07:37,252 --> 01:07:38,520
I love it.

1577
01:07:42,124 --> 01:07:43,826
I'm so happy you're here.

1578
01:07:54,503 --> 01:07:55,738
You said he wasn't coming.

1579
01:07:57,439 --> 01:07:58,473
I lied.

1580
01:08:18,460 --> 01:08:19,895
Sorry to ambush you.

1581
01:08:19,928 --> 01:08:21,563
I, uh...

1582
01:08:21,595 --> 01:08:23,197
asked Stasia
to embellish a little

1583
01:08:23,231 --> 01:08:25,267
'cause I didn't think you'd come

1584
01:08:25,300 --> 01:08:26,602
if you knew I was gonna be here.

1585
01:08:28,435 --> 01:08:29,604
It's good to see you.

1586
01:08:31,273 --> 01:08:32,273
I've missed you.

1587
01:08:34,809 --> 01:08:37,379
Can you believe that
Stasia is getting married

1588
01:08:37,412 --> 01:08:38,647
on Valentine's Day?

1589
01:08:40,314 --> 01:08:42,151
She likes to think
that she's so edgy,

1590
01:08:42,184 --> 01:08:43,486
but let's face it,

1591
01:08:43,819 --> 01:08:45,154
she basic.

1592
01:08:45,187 --> 01:08:46,187
Yeah.

1593
01:08:48,256 --> 01:08:49,425
It's, um...

1594
01:08:50,492 --> 01:08:52,294
big of you to be here,

1595
01:08:52,694 --> 01:08:53,934
after everything that happened.

1596
01:08:55,330 --> 01:08:56,799
Uh, not really.

1597
01:08:57,566 --> 01:09:00,435
I mean, I was never
in love with Stasia.

1598
01:09:01,469 --> 01:09:03,606
I love her. I just...

1599
01:09:04,639 --> 01:09:06,609
Mostly I'm just glad
she's happy.

1600
01:09:09,310 --> 01:09:10,550
So how come you never called me

1601
01:09:11,546 --> 01:09:12,781
if you missed me so much?

1602
01:09:13,148 --> 01:09:16,152
I mean, it's not like
I blocked your number or anything.

1603
01:09:17,118 --> 01:09:18,958
I guess I figured
you wouldn't wanna talk to me.

1604
01:09:19,287 --> 01:09:22,290
Or that I didn't deserve
to see you again.

1605
01:09:23,658 --> 01:09:25,460
I mean, you made it pretty clear

1606
01:09:25,493 --> 01:09:26,529
how badly I hurt you.

1607
01:09:30,599 --> 01:09:33,536
Well, uh, I should
probably get a drink.

1608
01:09:35,337 --> 01:09:36,472
It's good to see you.

1609
01:09:39,874 --> 01:09:42,310
The only reason
anything happened with Stasia

1610
01:09:42,344 --> 01:09:43,479
was 'cause...

1611
01:09:44,645 --> 01:09:46,045
'cause I was trying
to get over you.

1612
01:09:49,384 --> 01:09:50,653
Why would you need to do that?

1613
01:09:54,623 --> 01:09:57,593
Ever since, uh,
that trip home...

1614
01:09:58,727 --> 01:10:01,430
ever since we became friends...

1615
01:10:03,632 --> 01:10:05,500
I guess I kinda wanted
something more.

1616
01:10:07,535 --> 01:10:08,971
And then at Pride...

1617
01:10:09,738 --> 01:10:10,739
remember that?

1618
01:10:13,008 --> 01:10:15,544
I was just trying to work up the nerve
to tell you

1619
01:10:15,577 --> 01:10:17,379
that I was in love with you,

1620
01:10:17,746 --> 01:10:21,350
but you made it
really, really clear

1621
01:10:21,383 --> 01:10:22,693
that nothing was
ever gonna happen.

1622
01:10:22,717 --> 01:10:24,486
Because you never said anything!

1623
01:10:24,519 --> 01:10:25,554
I know.

1624
01:10:26,054 --> 01:10:27,489
And then I ruined everything.

1625
01:10:30,725 --> 01:10:32,361
The worst part is that

1626
01:10:33,195 --> 01:10:35,431
you were my favorite person
in the world...

1627
01:10:36,931 --> 01:10:39,567
and in one night,
I lost you twice.

1628
01:10:39,934 --> 01:10:40,936
I, um...

1629
01:10:42,937 --> 01:10:44,306
I, um...

1630
01:10:44,939 --> 01:10:45,939
was?

1631
01:10:46,741 --> 01:10:47,741
Past tense?

1632
01:10:48,543 --> 01:10:50,946
You said that I was
your favorite person.

1633
01:10:53,615 --> 01:10:54,782
No, stupid.

1634
01:10:55,950 --> 01:10:57,286
You are.

1635
01:10:57,952 --> 01:10:59,321
Always will be.

1636
01:11:00,588 --> 01:11:03,492
You are the smartest, funniest,

1637
01:11:04,292 --> 01:11:06,662
strangest person
I have ever met,

1638
01:11:07,329 --> 01:11:08,731
and I love everything about you.

1639
01:11:10,332 --> 01:11:12,668
I love that you need
to control everything...

1640
01:11:13,835 --> 01:11:17,606
and that you don't trust
a cashier to give you
the right change.

1641
01:11:17,639 --> 01:11:18,740
Well...

1642
01:11:18,773 --> 01:11:21,510
I love that you
never forget anything

1643
01:11:22,644 --> 01:11:24,913
and that you need to explain
half of your jokes to me.

1644
01:11:26,414 --> 01:11:28,617
And I even love
how crazy I make you,

1645
01:11:29,284 --> 01:11:31,620
'cause I know that means
I matter to you.

1646
01:11:32,520 --> 01:11:33,656
And...

1647
01:11:35,423 --> 01:11:38,460
mattering to you is
kinda all I ever wanted.

1648
01:11:42,797 --> 01:11:45,601
<i>♪ If the world was ending ♪</i>

1649
01:11:46,634 --> 01:11:48,036
<i>♪ You'd come over right ♪</i>

1650
01:11:48,069 --> 01:11:49,705
<i>♪ You'd come over
you'd come over</i> ♪

1651
01:11:49,738 --> 01:11:51,307
<i>♪ You'd come over right</i> ♪

1652
01:11:55,643 --> 01:11:58,614
<i>♪ If the world was ending
you'd come over right ♪</i>

1653
01:11:59,647 --> 01:12:00,783
Anastasia Hooper,

1654
01:12:01,750 --> 01:12:03,085
you're the most beautiful...

1655
01:12:04,119 --> 01:12:05,321
authentic...

1656
01:12:05,988 --> 01:12:07,523
thrilling woman I've ever met,

1657
01:12:08,690 --> 01:12:09,767
and I can't believe
I get to spend

1658
01:12:09,791 --> 01:12:10,959
the rest of my life with you.

1659
01:12:12,660 --> 01:12:13,729
You surprise me.

1660
01:12:14,496 --> 01:12:15,631
You challenge me...

1661
01:12:15,964 --> 01:12:16,965
a lot.

1662
01:12:17,999 --> 01:12:20,102
You make me want to be
a better version of myself.

1663
01:12:20,869 --> 01:12:22,871
I can only hope to do half
as much for you.

1664
01:12:24,839 --> 01:12:26,650
I feel like the luckiest person
in the world right now,

1665
01:12:26,674 --> 01:12:28,443
and I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life

1666
01:12:28,476 --> 01:12:29,796
making sure you feel
that way too.

1667
01:12:37,685 --> 01:12:40,689
<i>♪ Never was an early riser ♪</i>

1668
01:12:41,122 --> 01:12:44,493
<i>♪ Used to be
an up all-nighter ♪</i>

1669
01:12:44,926 --> 01:12:47,529
<i>♪ Never saw
the mornin' light ♪</i>

1670
01:12:47,562 --> 01:12:50,632
<i>♪ Quite like I do now ♪</i>

1671
01:12:51,366 --> 01:12:54,770
<i>♪ Never said no to a party ♪</i>

1672
01:12:55,170 --> 01:12:57,639
<i>♪ Never started savin' money ♪</i>

1673
01:12:58,740 --> 01:13:01,576
<i>♪ But everything
is different ♪</i>

1674
01:13:01,609 --> 01:13:04,780
<i>♪ Since you've been around ♪</i>

1675
01:13:05,113 --> 01:13:08,050
<i>♪ It's the way
you're smilin' at me ♪</i>

1676
01:13:08,683 --> 01:13:11,787
<i>♪ It's in the way
you hold my hand ♪</i>

1677
01:13:11,820 --> 01:13:14,990
<i>♪ It's the way
I've watched you change me ♪</i>

1678
01:13:15,423 --> 01:13:18,760
<i>♪ From a boy into a man ♪</i>

1679
01:13:18,793 --> 01:13:21,830
<i>♪ It's a million things
about you ♪</i>

1680
01:13:21,863 --> 01:13:25,434
<i>♪ And I don't know
what it is ♪</i>

1681
01:13:25,467 --> 01:13:29,871
<i>♪ But I have never known
a love like this... ♪</i>

1682
01:13:29,904 --> 01:13:31,440
Can I take you home now?

1683
01:13:33,174 --> 01:13:34,176
Yes.

1684
01:13:36,010 --> 01:13:38,914
<i>♪ Never used
to get excited ♪</i>

1685
01:13:40,081 --> 01:13:41,917
<i>♪ To sit here in the silence ♪</i>

1686
01:13:43,218 --> 01:13:45,921
<i>♪ Holdin' on to somethin' ♪</i>

1687
01:13:45,954 --> 01:13:48,857
<i>♪ The way I'm holdin' you ♪</i>

1688
01:13:49,724 --> 01:13:53,562
<i>♪ Didn't used to know
how fast time ♪</i>

1689
01:13:53,595 --> 01:13:56,765
<i>♪ Walks and runs
and flies by ♪</i>

1690
01:13:56,798 --> 01:13:59,901
<i>♪ I never thought
I'd feel so deeply ♪</i>

1691
01:13:59,934 --> 01:14:02,738
<i>♪ But damn, I do ♪</i>

1692
01:14:03,438 --> 01:14:06,475
<i>♪ It's the way
you're smilin' at me ♪</i>

1693
01:14:07,175 --> 01:14:09,911
<i>♪ It's in the way
you hold my hand ♪</i>

1694
01:14:09,944 --> 01:14:13,482
<i>♪ It's the way
I've watched you change me ♪</i>

1695
01:14:13,815 --> 01:14:16,485
<i>♪ From a boy into a man ♪</i>

1696
01:14:17,118 --> 01:14:19,822
<i>♪ It's a million things
about you ♪</i>

1697
01:14:20,088 --> 01:14:23,191
<i>♪ And I don't know
what it is ♪</i>

1698
01:14:23,224 --> 01:14:28,764
<i>♪ But I have never known
a love like this ♪</i>

1699
01:14:30,932 --> 01:14:35,771
<i>♪ I have never known
a love like this ♪</i>

1700
01:15:05,300 --> 01:15:08,904
I guess Suck-up Sammy wasn't
such a bad nickname after all.

1701
01:15:09,704 --> 01:15:10,772
Stop!

1702
01:15:18,713 --> 01:15:19,947
Don't do that.
Don't...

1703
01:15:20,982 --> 01:15:22,284
look at me like that.

1704
01:15:22,317 --> 01:15:24,052
Don't make me right.

1705
01:15:24,953 --> 01:15:25,953
Right?

1706
01:15:26,888 --> 01:15:28,190
About what?

1707
01:15:29,123 --> 01:15:30,826
About this! About...

1708
01:15:32,226 --> 01:15:34,295
how we shouldn't have done this.

1709
01:15:34,329 --> 01:15:35,329
Hey, no, no.

1710
01:15:36,297 --> 01:15:37,965
Last night was perfect.

1711
01:15:38,633 --> 01:15:41,102
It was everything that
I thought it would be

1712
01:15:41,135 --> 01:15:42,804
and, like...

1713
01:15:42,837 --> 01:15:44,139
a thousand times better.

1714
01:15:46,941 --> 01:15:48,876
Then why do you have
that look on your face?

1715
01:15:52,614 --> 01:15:53,848
I finally got a job.

1716
01:15:55,083 --> 01:15:58,053
Like... a real job.

1717
01:15:58,920 --> 01:16:00,088
Awesome, but?

1718
01:16:02,023 --> 01:16:03,023
But...

1719
01:16:04,726 --> 01:16:07,262
it's in I.,
and I leave next week.

1720
01:16:11,399 --> 01:16:12,701
Are you kidding?

1721
01:16:12,734 --> 01:16:14,002
It's one of the biggest

1722
01:16:14,035 --> 01:16:15,670
sports marketing companies
in the world.

1723
01:16:15,703 --> 01:16:18,807
- How could I say no?
- This is so like you, Harry.

1724
01:16:20,041 --> 01:16:21,943
Even getting your dream job
sounds like

1725
01:16:21,976 --> 01:16:23,712
something just happened to you.

1726
01:16:26,914 --> 01:16:28,916
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it. I, I...

1727
01:16:29,951 --> 01:16:30,951
How could you...

1728
01:16:32,253 --> 01:16:33,621
How could you...

1729
01:16:34,756 --> 01:16:37,292
let us... do that...

1730
01:16:38,059 --> 01:16:41,062
knowing you were just
gonna leave?

1731
01:16:41,095 --> 01:16:43,065
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I needed to know.

1732
01:16:43,365 --> 01:16:45,266
And, and I am telling you.

1733
01:16:45,299 --> 01:16:46,635
I-I'm telling you now!

1734
01:16:47,469 --> 01:16:49,104
This doesn't mean
we can't be together.

1735
01:16:49,137 --> 01:16:50,304
You know what? I, uh...

1736
01:16:52,974 --> 01:16:54,376
I got-gotta go.

1737
01:16:54,409 --> 01:16:55,276
Come on, Sam.

1738
01:16:55,309 --> 01:16:57,178
We got the whole weekend,

1739
01:16:57,211 --> 01:16:58,913
an-and LA's not that far.

1740
01:16:58,946 --> 01:17:01,750
I mean, there's these
new-fangled things called airplanes.

1741
01:17:03,251 --> 01:17:05,954
Wha-wha-what?
You don't trust me to do long-distance?

1742
01:17:06,587 --> 01:17:08,223
How can I trust you
to do long-distance

1743
01:17:08,256 --> 01:17:10,792
when I can't even trust you
to tell me the whole truth.

1744
01:17:12,093 --> 01:17:14,295
Before we slept together!

1745
01:17:14,328 --> 01:17:15,797
Before I...

1746
01:17:16,831 --> 01:17:18,266
I, I let you in.

1747
01:17:18,599 --> 01:17:22,404
You had... so many chances
to say something.

1748
01:17:22,437 --> 01:17:25,273
Do you seriously not get
what a betrayal that is?

1749
01:17:26,340 --> 01:17:27,842
No, of course you don't.

1750
01:17:27,875 --> 01:17:30,111
You know, you say that you love

1751
01:17:30,144 --> 01:17:32,080
all those things about me,

1752
01:17:32,947 --> 01:17:36,117
but if you don't understand
that trust is the only thing

1753
01:17:36,150 --> 01:17:37,285
that matters to me, well...

1754
01:17:39,020 --> 01:17:40,956
then I, I guess you
don't know me at all.

1755
01:17:42,790 --> 01:17:44,334
Or maybe you do
and that's why you did it.

1756
01:17:44,358 --> 01:17:46,795
Because you say you want love,

1757
01:17:46,828 --> 01:17:47,996
blah blah, but...

1758
01:17:49,163 --> 01:17:50,464
you know, at the end of the day,

1759
01:17:50,498 --> 01:17:52,134
you're just as afraid
of it as I am.

1760
01:17:56,037 --> 01:17:57,272
At least I know now

1761
01:17:57,772 --> 01:17:59,307
for sure I was right.

1762
01:18:01,175 --> 01:18:03,087
We never should have tried
to be anything more than friends.

1763
01:18:03,111 --> 01:18:04,980
It always screws everything up.

1764
01:18:12,487 --> 01:18:14,287
<i>I have two choices.</i>

1765
01:18:14,789 --> 01:18:18,860
<i>To give up and accept
permanent state of spinsterhood</i>

1766
01:18:18,893 --> 01:18:20,929
<i>and eventual eating by dogs.</i>

1767
01:18:21,529 --> 01:18:22,831
<i>Or not.</i>

1768
01:18:23,865 --> 01:18:25,905
<i>And this time I choose not.</i>

1769
01:18:26,134 --> 01:18:27,211
<i>- I will not be defeated...</i>
- Oh!

1770
01:18:27,235 --> 01:18:30,338
<i>By a bad man
and an American stick insect.</i>

1771
01:18:35,243 --> 01:18:36,945
You ruined...

1772
01:18:37,178 --> 01:18:38,847
everything.

1773
01:18:42,784 --> 01:18:44,920
A sandwich for Samwich.

1774
01:18:48,089 --> 01:18:49,224
So that's it, huh?

1775
01:18:49,657 --> 01:18:51,793
You're just never
gonna talk to him again?

1776
01:18:53,127 --> 01:18:54,138
Just gonna spend
the rest of your life

1777
01:18:54,162 --> 01:18:56,064
burrowed under this duvet,

1778
01:18:56,097 --> 01:18:57,932
sweating into my vintage
velvet couch

1779
01:18:57,965 --> 01:18:59,325
like some sort
of tragic dust mite?

1780
01:19:00,034 --> 01:19:02,237
Don't you have to work or something?

1781
01:19:03,437 --> 01:19:05,140
- What day is it?
- Friday.

1782
01:19:05,673 --> 01:19:07,442
Oh my God, the rally!

1783
01:19:09,343 --> 01:19:11,346
You should probably shower.
You smell really bad.

1784
01:19:11,379 --> 01:19:12,514
All right!

1785
01:19:12,947 --> 01:19:15,058
<i>And now to Katie Leonard on the scene</i>

1786
01:19:15,082 --> 01:19:16,551
<i>in downtown Chicago. Katie.</i>

1787
01:19:16,584 --> 01:19:18,128
<i>We are coming to you live</i>

1788
01:19:18,152 --> 01:19:19,329
<i>from one of the first
big rallies</i>

1789
01:19:19,353 --> 01:19:22,190
<i>in what is sure to be
a contentious governor's race.</i>

1790
01:19:22,223 --> 01:19:23,925
<i>Mitchell's team has told us
that they plan</i>

1791
01:19:23,958 --> 01:19:25,058
<i>on doing whatever it takes</i>

1792
01:19:25,092 --> 01:19:26,561
<i>to take her to the next level.</i>

1793
01:19:26,594 --> 01:19:29,264
<i>After a difficult primary run,
a lot of people were...</i>

1794
01:19:29,297 --> 01:19:31,331
<i>♪ I can't write one song ♪</i>

1795
01:19:31,365 --> 01:19:33,168
<i>♪ That's not about you ♪</i>

1796
01:19:33,201 --> 01:19:37,105
<i>♪ Can't drink without
thinkin' about you ♪</i>

1797
01:19:37,138 --> 01:19:40,441
<i>♪ Is it too late
to tell you that ♪</i>

1798
01:19:40,474 --> 01:19:44,179
<i>♪ Everything means nothing
if I can't have you? ♪</i>

1799
01:19:44,679 --> 01:19:48,917
<i>♪ I can't write one song
that's not about you ♪</i>

1800
01:19:48,950 --> 01:19:52,920
<i>♪ Can't drink without
thinkin' about you ♪</i>

1801
01:19:52,954 --> 01:19:54,089
<i>♪ Is it too late... ♪</i>

1802
01:19:54,656 --> 01:19:56,391
Oh whoa!
Got a wristband?

1803
01:19:56,424 --> 01:19:59,861
- Uh, I...
- No wristband, no entry.

1804
01:20:00,328 --> 01:20:03,298
<i>♪ I'm so sorry
that my timing's off ♪</i>

1805
01:20:03,331 --> 01:20:07,302
<i>♪ But I can't move on
if we're still gonna talk... ♪</i>

1806
01:20:07,335 --> 01:20:10,105
Oh, good you're here.
Okay, right through this door. Come on, come on.

1807
01:20:10,972 --> 01:20:13,107
Stand there by the door.
Ladies. Ladies.

1808
01:20:13,140 --> 01:20:14,375
It's time. Right now.

1809
01:20:14,408 --> 01:20:15,610
Let's go!

1810
01:20:15,643 --> 01:20:16,978
Let's go! Let's go!

1811
01:20:17,979 --> 01:20:19,080
All right, now remember...

1812
01:20:22,283 --> 01:20:23,551
Energy!
Energy! Energy!

1813
01:20:23,584 --> 01:20:25,262
I want you to set up over there.
Come on, let's go.

1814
01:20:25,286 --> 01:20:27,121
Big smiles. Big smiles.
There you go.

1815
01:20:31,025 --> 01:20:32,502
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

1816
01:20:32,526 --> 01:20:34,128
<i>put your hands together</i>

1817
01:20:34,161 --> 01:20:36,832
<i>for the Illinois Maples
dance team.</i>

1818
01:20:44,038 --> 01:20:45,038
Oh!

1819
01:20:48,309 --> 01:20:49,309
Watch out!

1820
01:21:16,203 --> 01:21:17,443
- Look out!
- Whoa!

1821
01:21:26,380 --> 01:21:27,548
Hey, come here!

1822
01:21:27,581 --> 01:21:29,050
Get off the stage!

1823
01:21:29,583 --> 01:21:30,585
Ow!

1824
01:21:31,719 --> 01:21:33,121
Yeah! You!

1825
01:21:41,195 --> 01:21:42,264
Whoo!

1826
01:21:48,269 --> 01:21:50,438
<i>Um... uh, I...</i>

1827
01:21:51,005 --> 01:21:52,540
<i>Sorry. I,
I didn't mean to...</i>

1828
01:21:53,407 --> 01:21:54,407
<i>mess things up.</i>

1829
01:21:54,776 --> 01:21:57,612
<i>Someone in this very crowd
once told me that</i>

1830
01:21:58,112 --> 01:22:01,216
<i>wh-when you make a mess
of things, you gotta fix 'em.</i>

1831
01:22:02,250 --> 01:22:04,730
<i>You got to take responsibility
for what you want in this life.</i>

1832
01:22:05,486 --> 01:22:08,122
<i>And if you want
the best governor</i>

1833
01:22:08,155 --> 01:22:09,389
<i>for your state of Illinois,</i>

1834
01:22:09,423 --> 01:22:12,393
<i>then you have to go out there
and accept responsibility,</i>

1835
01:22:12,426 --> 01:22:15,964
<i>an-and work as hard as you can
for Lindsay Mitchell!</i>

1836
01:22:19,567 --> 01:22:21,736
<i>Uh, just...
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Um...</i>

1837
01:22:21,769 --> 01:22:23,204
<i>Uh, one more thing.</i>

1838
01:22:24,472 --> 01:22:26,574
<i>Sam. Sam Baselli.</i>

1839
01:22:28,409 --> 01:22:30,577
<i>Just, just listen
to me. Please.</i>

1840
01:22:31,378 --> 01:22:33,481
<i>You were right,
about everything.</i>

1841
01:22:34,215 --> 01:22:36,284
<i>I have to take responsibility
for what I did,</i>

1842
01:22:36,817 --> 01:22:38,320
<i>and for what I want.</i>

1843
01:22:39,320 --> 01:22:40,480
<i>And what I did was messed up.</i>

1844
01:22:41,456 --> 01:22:44,159
<i>And I don't just mean
that opening number.</i>

1845
01:22:45,159 --> 01:22:46,962
<i>And what I want is you.</i>

1846
01:22:48,195 --> 01:22:49,331
<i>I'm not going to LA.</i>

1847
01:22:49,931 --> 01:22:51,398
<i>There are other jobs.</i>

1848
01:22:53,667 --> 01:22:56,471
<i>But... there's
no other Sam Baselli.</i>

1849
01:22:57,605 --> 01:22:59,340
<i>You're my best friend, Sam.</i>

1850
01:23:01,108 --> 01:23:03,344
<i>And wherever I have to be
so I could fall asleep</i>

1851
01:23:03,377 --> 01:23:06,014
<i>with you in my arms
and wake up looking in your eyes...</i>

1852
01:23:07,782 --> 01:23:09,284
<i>that's where I'm gonna be.</i>

1853
01:23:10,818 --> 01:23:12,988
<i>I'm not going anywhere
because...</i>

1854
01:23:13,587 --> 01:23:14,589
<i>I love you.</i>

1855
01:23:15,389 --> 01:23:16,992
Aww.

1856
01:23:18,492 --> 01:23:20,428
<i>And you can trust me on that.</i>

1857
01:23:22,630 --> 01:23:23,630
<i>For real.</i>

1858
01:23:26,801 --> 01:23:29,170
<i>Well, are you gonna come up
and kiss him, Sam?</i>

1859
01:23:29,603 --> 01:23:31,172
<i>Or should I?</i>

1860
01:23:49,356 --> 01:23:51,192
<i>How about that?</i>

1861
01:23:51,225 --> 01:23:53,127
<i>That young man put it all
on the line...</i>

1862
01:23:53,160 --> 01:23:54,920
I know you like to be right
about everything,

1863
01:23:55,363 --> 01:23:57,399
but you were
so wrong about this.

1864
01:23:58,499 --> 01:24:00,367
Friends can fall in love...

1865
01:24:02,436 --> 01:24:03,480
and I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life

1866
01:24:03,504 --> 01:24:04,806
making sure you know it.

1867
01:24:07,108 --> 01:24:08,343
I don't mind being wrong.

1868
01:24:24,291 --> 01:24:27,395
<i>♪ I'm just wild about Harry ♪</i>

1869
01:24:27,428 --> 01:24:30,498
<i>♪ And Harry's wild about me ♪</i>

1870
01:24:30,931 --> 01:24:32,834
<i>♪ The heavenly blisses ♪</i>

1871
01:24:32,867 --> 01:24:36,571
<i>♪ Of his kisses
fill me with ecstasy ♪</i>

1872
01:24:37,438 --> 01:24:40,575
<i>♪ He's sweet
just like chocolate candy ♪</i>

1873
01:24:40,608 --> 01:24:44,178
<i>♪ Or just like honey
from a bee ♪</i>

1874
01:24:44,211 --> 01:24:46,514
<i>♪ Oh, I'm just wild
about Harry... ♪</i>

1875
01:24:46,547 --> 01:24:47,548
Hey!

1876
01:24:47,581 --> 01:24:49,150
Hey!

1877
01:24:51,752 --> 01:24:53,455
- How was your day?
- Good.

1878
01:24:53,988 --> 01:24:55,456
Yeah? You have
a good day?

1879
01:24:55,489 --> 01:24:56,257
Yeah.

1880
01:24:56,290 --> 01:24:58,126
- A little bit moody today.
- Aww.

1881
01:25:11,405 --> 01:25:15,276
<i>♪ Oh, I'm just wild
about Harry ♪</i>

1882
01:25:15,309 --> 01:25:21,316
<i>♪ And he's just wild
about me ♪</i>

1883
01:25:24,652 --> 01:25:27,422
<i>♪ I'm just wild
about Harry ♪</i>

1884
01:25:28,089 --> 01:25:31,692
<i>♪ And Harry's wild
about me ♪</i>

1885
01:25:31,725 --> 01:25:34,262
<i>♪ The heavenly blisses ♪</i>

1886
01:25:34,295 --> 01:25:38,466
<i>♪ Of his kisses
fill me with ecstasy ♪</i>

1887
01:25:39,099 --> 01:25:42,637
<i>♪ He's sweet
just like chocolate candy ♪</i>

1888
01:25:42,670 --> 01:25:46,341
<i>♪ Or just like honey
from a bee ♪</i>

1889
01:25:46,674 --> 01:25:50,478
<i>♪ Oh, I'm just wild
about Harry ♪</i>

1890
01:25:50,511 --> 01:25:53,515
<i>♪ And he's just wild
about me ♪</i>