0000 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:10,000 YoubetCash.net Agen Judi Online Aman & Terpercaya 000 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Bonus Cashback Bola 6% Bonus Rollingan 0,80% 00 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Welcome Bonus Rp 25.000 Extra Bonus Tambahan Withdraw Rp 2.000.000 0 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:25,000 CashBack Mix Parlay 100% Bonus Ajak teman 45,2% 1 00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:12,250 Dear Noah R. Gutman, 2 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:14,375 thank you for choosing to participate 3 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,041 in our beta test of Tellr. 4 00:01:17,041 --> 00:01:18,917 Here at Tellr Laboratories, 5 00:01:18,917 --> 00:01:20,375 we strive to create 6 00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:22,500 a better way for people to communicate, 7 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,500 and your experience with Tellr 8 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,834 will help us toward that goal. 9 00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:29,083 in this package, you will find: 10 00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:30,417 this letter, 11 00:01:30,417 --> 00:01:31,917 one Tellr pill, 12 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,667 a photograph of the fellow 13 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:35,333 beta tester that you will be 14 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:37,583 going on a blind date with. 15 00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:39,333 You are to meet her today, 16 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,542 June 21st, 2020, 17 00:01:41,542 --> 00:01:43,083 at three o'clock P.M. 18 00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:45,041 at the following location: 19 00:01:45,041 --> 00:01:47,834 Prospect Park, 9th Street Entrance, 20 00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:50,792 at 9th Street and Prospect Park West, 21 00:01:50,792 --> 00:01:54,250 Brooklyn, New York, 11215. 22 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:57,291 Please swallow the Tellr pill with water 23 00:01:57,291 --> 00:02:00,250 at least one hour before meeting her. 24 00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,917 Once you are within the boundaries of the park 25 00:02:02,917 --> 00:02:04,875 and are within ten feet of each other, 26 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,708 the Tellr... 27 00:02:06,708 --> 00:02:09,208 the Tellr nanocells should automatically 28 00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:11,708 sync and become operational, 29 00:02:11,708 --> 00:02:13,792 and will remain operational within 30 00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:14,959 the boundaries of the park 31 00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:16,750 for four hours. 32 00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:18,959 Please remain in the park on your date 33 00:02:18,959 --> 00:02:21,208 for those entire four hours. 34 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,667 That's about it! 35 00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:24,667 We hope you have a pleasant time, 36 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:27,333 and above all else, be yourself. 37 00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:30,041 Sincerely, all of us at Tellr laboratories. 38 00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:07,417 Hey! Whoa, that's weird. 39 00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:10,750 - Hey. Yeah! Oh my god. Wow. 40 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,834 - I'm sorry I was late. 41 00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:15,583 - It's fine, no worries. 42 00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:17,583 - Wow, this is so weird. 43 00:04:17,583 --> 00:04:19,500 - I know. 44 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,792 - I can't believe it works. 45 00:04:21,792 --> 00:04:23,750 - Yeah, it's crazy. 46 00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:25,917 - It's like, it feels like the future right now, 47 00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,417 like, we're in the future right now, 48 00:04:27,417 --> 00:04:30,125 the present feels like the future, you know? 49 00:04:30,125 --> 00:04:31,417 - Totally. 50 00:04:31,417 --> 00:04:33,750 - So weird. 51 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:35,875 - Do you wanna walk around? 52 00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:37,333 - Yeah, sure. 53 00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:39,250 - Cool. 54 00:04:42,417 --> 00:04:44,750 - Mute date, here we go! 55 00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:47,041 - Here we go. 56 00:04:47,041 --> 00:04:48,375 So yeah, it’s 57 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:51,041 like a marketing company, kind of. 58 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,417 Basically we like, make videos and do social media 59 00:04:53,417 --> 00:04:54,959 and stuff for brands. 60 00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:56,625 And I do graphic design there, I do like, 61 00:04:56,625 --> 00:04:57,708 graphics for videos 62 00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:59,708 and make memes and stuff. 63 00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:00,959 - That’s cool. 64 00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:03,000 - Yeah, I like it for the most part. 65 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,500 Everyone’s pretty chill there. 66 00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,834 The pay isn’t great, but it’s fine. 67 00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:08,333 How about you, what do you do? 68 00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:09,959 - I do stand up, and like, 69 00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:11,750 odd jobs on the side, 70 00:05:11,750 --> 00:05:13,458 like, little things or whatever. 71 00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:14,917 But mostly just stand up. 72 00:05:14,917 --> 00:05:17,083 - Cool. Do you do it around the city? 73 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,458 - Yeah, and like, out of town sometimes too. 74 00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:20,375 - Awesome. 75 00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:22,250 - I’ve done it like, upstate, and in Canada, 76 00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:23,000 - Awesome. 77 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,750 - and a couple other places here and there. 78 00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:26,291 - So, what’s, like, 79 00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:28,834 how would you describe your comedy? 80 00:05:28,834 --> 00:05:31,000 - I guess, like... jokes? 81 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,041 - Jokes? 82 00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:33,375 - That came out wrong. 83 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:36,667 - A comedian that tells jokes. That’s very unique. 84 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:38,708 - Yeah. Nah, I mean like... 85 00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:41,750 like, one-liners. Do you know what one-liners are? 86 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:44,125 - Yes, I know what one-liners are. 87 00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:45,250 - Some people don’t! 88 00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:46,291 I didn’t mean it like 89 00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:48,500 I thought you were stupid or anything. 90 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:49,834 - Oh, wow, okay, 91 00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:51,166 I wasn’t even thinking that, 92 00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:52,542 but now I guess I have to. 93 00:05:52,542 --> 00:05:55,000 - No! I mean like... ugh. 94 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,875 - I’m teasing. So, you’re a one-liner comedian? 95 00:05:57,875 --> 00:05:59,625 - Yeah. Yes. 96 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,125 - Does the audience ever get sick 97 00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:02,208 of your one line? 98 00:06:03,417 --> 00:06:04,875 - Oh man. That’s good. 99 00:06:04,875 --> 00:06:06,542 I like that. That’s funny. 100 00:06:06,542 --> 00:06:08,750 - Thank you. Maybe I’ll become a comedian 101 00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:10,875 with two lines and I’ll put you out of business. 102 00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,458 - Yeah, like, ‘hey, that guy with that 103 00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:15,834 one line all the time, screw that guy, 104 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,542 this lady’s got two lines’. 105 00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:19,166 - ‘Yeah, she’s got a whole other line.’ 106 00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:20,375 - ‘Yeah, she’s twice as good.’ 107 00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:21,125 - ‘Yeah.’ 108 00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:29,917 This park’s cool. 109 00:06:29,917 --> 00:06:33,000 - Yeah. 110 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,208 - So, how did you hear about Tellr? 111 00:06:35,208 --> 00:06:36,542 - Uh, 112 00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:38,625 well, I got like, an e-mail or whatever, 113 00:06:38,625 --> 00:06:40,792 and, like, I thought it was spam 114 00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,166 or fake or something, 115 00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:43,875 and then I searched ‘Tellr’, 116 00:06:43,875 --> 00:06:45,291 and I went to their website, 117 00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:47,208 and it seemed interesting and real apparently, 118 00:06:47,208 --> 00:06:49,083 so I went back to the e-mail 119 00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:50,542 and I clicked the link in it, 120 00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:53,375 and I did the questionnaire, and I got picked. 121 00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:54,917 - Same. 122 00:06:54,917 --> 00:06:57,083 - Word. 123 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,417 - It’s funny, it’s like, 124 00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,041 all this, like, it already feels 125 00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:02,291 really natural to me. 126 00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,041 - Yeah. Yeah, me too. 127 00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:05,125 It’s weird. 128 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,750 It’s like better, almost. 129 00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,333 I don’t know. It’s... 130 00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:10,583 it's like typing, but faster. 131 00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,750 It’s like typing in the air really fast, 132 00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:15,041 but like, with your brain, and without text, 133 00:07:15,041 --> 00:07:16,041 yqou know? 134 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:18,041 - Yeah, totally. 135 00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:19,834 - I dunno. I’d use it. 136 00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:21,375 Not all the time, but like, 137 00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:22,959 I could see myself using it. 138 00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:24,875 - Yeah, me too. 139 00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:26,583 - I mean, it’ll probably be 140 00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:28,333 crazy expensive or something, 141 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:31,250 so, I probably wouldn’t even be able to afford it. 142 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:32,542 - Yeah, it’ll probably be only 143 00:07:32,542 --> 00:07:34,041 super rich people that’ll be able to 144 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,625 afford it and use it. 145 00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:37,625 But then like, I guess years down the line, 146 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:40,041 everyone will have it, like cell phones. 147 00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,333 - Yeah, like, 148 00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:43,417 it just seems new and like it’ll be 149 00:07:43,417 --> 00:07:44,583 expensive right now, 150 00:07:44,583 --> 00:07:47,250 but, then one day, it’ll just be real common. 151 00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:48,166 - Yeah. 152 00:07:48,708 --> 00:07:50,708 - Yeah. 153 00:08:03,333 --> 00:08:04,458 - Do you wanna, like, 154 00:08:04,458 --> 00:08:06,083 find a guy with a cart or something 155 00:08:06,083 --> 00:08:07,583 and get something to eat? 156 00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:08,667 - Yeah, sure. 157 00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:09,708 - Cool. 158 00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:11,333 I mean, I wish we could eat at like, 159 00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,000 a restaurant or something. 160 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:13,792 - Yeah. 161 00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:16,250 Yeah, it sucks that we have to stay in the park. 162 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:18,792 - Yeah, it’s like we’re grounded or something. 163 00:08:18,792 --> 00:08:20,208 - Yeah. 164 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,959 Yeah. 165 00:08:25,375 --> 00:08:26,834 - Please stay within the boundaries 166 00:08:26,834 --> 00:08:29,667 of the park for the entire four hours. 167 00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:30,792 Thank you. 168 00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:37,417 - That was weird. 169 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,000 - Yeah. 170 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,500 - Did you know it could do that? 171 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:43,000 - No. 172 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,250 - I guess they’re listening to 173 00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,458 whatever we’re saying. 174 00:08:46,458 --> 00:08:47,667 - Yeah. I mean, 175 00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:48,667 I guess that makes sense. 176 00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:51,417 Like, they’re doing their test or whatever. 177 00:08:51,417 --> 00:08:52,792 - They never really said they’d be 178 00:08:52,792 --> 00:08:54,166 listening in on us though, right? 179 00:08:54,166 --> 00:08:56,333 I don’t remember them saying they would be. 180 00:08:56,333 --> 00:08:58,291 - Yeah. I mean, I don’t know. 181 00:08:58,291 --> 00:09:01,458 I didn’t really read the fine print or anything. 182 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,333 - I didn’t either. 183 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:05,417 - I dunno. It seems like everything 184 00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:07,917 listens to everything these days. 185 00:09:07,917 --> 00:09:09,291 - Yeah. 186 00:09:09,291 --> 00:09:10,417 - I guess, like, 187 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,041 don’t say your passwords or anything. 188 00:09:13,041 --> 00:09:14,834 - I mean, yeah, I was gonna. 189 00:09:14,834 --> 00:09:16,458 But now, I don’t know. 190 00:09:16,458 --> 00:09:18,750 - Yeah, it’s like, a good thing to do 191 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:21,708 on a first date, I think. Say your passwords. 192 00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:24,333 - Yeah, making out, that’s like, third date. 193 00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:27,333 But sharing of passwords? First date, definitely. 194 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,750 - Yeah. Yeah, exactly. 195 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:30,959 - Yeah. 196 00:09:30,959 --> 00:09:32,250 Thank you for helping me explain 197 00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:33,834 what I wanted to the guy. 198 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:34,959 You’re very good at like, 199 00:09:34,959 --> 00:09:37,291 pantomiming and pointing at stuff. 200 00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:39,166 - Thanks. Yeah, that was weird. 201 00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:40,667 I didn’t realize we wouldn’t be able 202 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,208 to like, speak with our mouths 203 00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:43,333 while this was going on. 204 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,041 - What if it never comes back? 205 00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:47,000 - Oh man. That would suck. 206 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:47,875 - You’d have to like, 207 00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:49,375 become a mime or something. 208 00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:52,125 - qYeah, I would. 209 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,625 - Now I almost wish we’d be 210 00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:54,834 rendered mute forever 211 00:09:54,834 --> 00:09:56,792 just so I could see your mime career. 212 00:09:56,792 --> 00:09:58,500 - Yeah. Yeah, maybe I’d have 213 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,625 a better career as a mime, I dunno. 214 00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:02,000 - Maybe! 215 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,208 - It’s possible. 216 00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:04,708 - Anything is possible. 217 00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:06,125 - It’s true. 218 00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:09,917 I wonder why they didn’t give this to like, 219 00:10:09,917 --> 00:10:12,583 actual mute people to try out instead. 220 00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:14,875 - I know, right? Like, this technology is 221 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:16,959 totally being wasted on us boring normal people 222 00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:18,875 that have been talking all our lives. 223 00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:20,333 - Yeah, exactly. 224 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:22,125 - We should, like, puke up our pills and go 225 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:23,500 give them to some people who could 226 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:24,667 actually use them. 227 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:26,750 - Yeah, totally. 228 00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:29,625 - For your own safety, please do not 229 00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:31,625 at any time attempt to remove your 230 00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:34,125 Tellr nanocells, which are currently circulating 231 00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:35,959 through your bloodstream. 232 00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:38,291 Only a Tellr-authorized doctor is able to 233 00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:39,917 perform such a procedure. 234 00:10:40,917 --> 00:10:42,291 - I was joking! 235 00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:43,708 - Ha. Busted. 236 00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:46,041 - Shut up, I was obviously joking! 237 00:10:46,041 --> 00:10:48,166 This thing is so BLEEP-ing dumb. 238 00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:49,291 - Whoa. 239 00:10:49,291 --> 00:10:52,208 - Holy BLEEP! What the BLEEP! 240 00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:55,291 - Wow. 241 00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:56,542 - Is this seriously what 242 00:10:56,542 --> 00:10:58,500 the future is gonna be like? Everyone’s curses 243 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,792 are just gonna be bleeped all the time? 244 00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:02,208 - That’s crazy. 245 00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:03,708 - Yeah, I really don’t like that. 246 00:11:03,708 --> 00:11:06,750 That’s way too creepy future for me. 247 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,041 - Yeah. 248 00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:10,166 - Yo, if y’all are listening right now, 249 00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:11,708 don't do that, take that out, 250 00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:13,250 cause that's not gonna fly, 251 00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:14,875 people are not gonna like that. 252 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,959 - Profanity settings modified. 253 00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:18,834 Please test and confirm modification. 254 00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:22,291 - Um... fuck, shit, ass, cock, cunt. 255 00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:25,291 - Profanity settings modification confirmed. 256 00:11:25,291 --> 00:11:26,625 - That’s better. 257 00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:28,458 - Yeah that’s good. 258 00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:31,375 - That was funny, you were all, 259 00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:32,834 ‘fuck, ass, shit, cock’, 260 00:11:32,834 --> 00:11:34,625 and your face was all serious. 261 00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:36,291 - I was just saying my password. 262 00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:40,417 - Oh man. That was great. 263 00:11:40,417 --> 00:11:42,375 That was such a good callback. 264 00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:43,834 - Thank you. 265 00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:45,917 - You know, you’re really funny. 266 00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:47,041 - Yeah? 267 00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:48,041 - Yeah. 268 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,667 - Thanks. I haven’t decided if you are yet. 269 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:51,708 - Oh yeah? 270 00:11:51,708 --> 00:11:53,083 - Yeah! You’re not like, 271 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:54,583 doing any jokes or anything. 272 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:55,875 I wanna hear your jokes. 273 00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:57,208 - I’m eating. 274 00:11:57,208 --> 00:11:58,542 - That’s no excuse, 275 00:11:58,542 --> 00:12:00,125 we’ve got these things in us. 276 00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:01,875 - I know, that’s the joke. 277 00:12:01,875 --> 00:12:03,708 - Well, I wanna hear a real joke, 278 00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:05,041 like, a stand up joke. 279 00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:06,333 - Okay, when we stand up, 280 00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:08,834 I’ll do that same joke again. 281 00:12:08,834 --> 00:12:10,500 - You’re no fun. 282 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,583 - Alright, I’ll tell you one of my actual 283 00:12:12,583 --> 00:12:14,375 stand up jokes when we stand up. 284 00:12:14,375 --> 00:12:15,834 - Just tell me one now! 285 00:12:15,834 --> 00:12:18,083 - I don’t like doing my jokes sitting down. 286 00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:19,542 I tried a set like that once 287 00:12:19,542 --> 00:12:20,917 and it just didn’t really work. 288 00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:22,208 - Fine. But when we get up, 289 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:23,667 you better actually tell one. 290 00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:25,500 - I will, I promise. 291 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:27,667 - Actually, I know this perfect spot 292 00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:29,708 in this park for you to do a stand up joke. 293 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:30,875 - Where? 294 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,708 - I’m not telling, let’s just eat. 295 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,583 Oh man, this is gonna be perfect! 296 00:12:37,959 --> 00:12:39,875 - This is really awkward. 297 00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:41,917 - But it’s perfect! 298 00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:44,250 - People over there are looking at me. 299 00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:46,875 - So? They can’t hear us. 300 00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:48,375 - I almost wish they could. 301 00:12:48,375 --> 00:12:49,750 I feel like they’re waiting for me 302 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,166 to do something, but when I do 303 00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:52,959 do something it’s not gonna look like 304 00:12:52,959 --> 00:12:54,792 I’m doing anything, and they’re just gonna 305 00:12:54,792 --> 00:12:56,750 still be staring at me like this, 306 00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:59,750 waiting for me to do something. It’s awkward. 307 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,625 - Who cares, just do a joke! 308 00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:04,625 - Can I just come down and do one? 309 00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:07,708 - No! Do a joke! 310 00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:09,250 - Alright. Um... 311 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:11,125 - Joke! Joke! Joke! Joke! 312 00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:14,500 - Alright, alright, alright. Here goes. 313 00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,625 Jews are interesting. 314 00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:18,792 Jews love Chinese food. 315 00:13:18,792 --> 00:13:20,959 Jews love Chinese food so much 316 00:13:20,959 --> 00:13:22,917 that they’re willing to overlook the fact 317 00:13:22,917 --> 00:13:25,125 that the Chinese Checkers game board 318 00:13:25,125 --> 00:13:27,083 looks like a Star of David with a bunch 319 00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:29,166 of bullet holes in it. 320 00:13:29,166 --> 00:13:31,333 I’m surprised the Palestinians don’t use 321 00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:34,875 the Chinese Checkers game board as their flag. 322 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,834 - That wasn’t a one-liner. 323 00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:43,500 - Yeah. I do longer stuff too, I guess. 324 00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:45,625 - Do a one-liner. 325 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:48,291 - Alright. Um. 326 00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:50,708 I think my cable box might be Jewish, 327 00:13:50,708 --> 00:13:53,875 cause whatever I DVR, it cuts the end off. 328 00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:57,417 - That’s funny. 329 00:13:57,417 --> 00:13:59,875 - Circumcision joke. 330 00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,834 - I got it. 331 00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:04,291 - Feel free to laugh at any of these. 332 00:14:04,291 --> 00:14:06,500 - I said it was funny! 333 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:10,208 - I know, but like, laughter’s good too. 334 00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:13,500 - If I was at a comedy club, I woulda laughed. 335 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,542 - Can I come down now? 336 00:14:15,542 --> 00:14:16,583 - That’s all? 337 00:14:16,583 --> 00:14:18,417 Ow. 338 00:14:18,417 --> 00:14:19,792 - ‘Ow’? 339 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,291 - Nothing, my stomach just cramped or something. 340 00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:24,250 Ow, that one was bad. 341 00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:25,375 - Are you okay? 342 00:14:25,375 --> 00:14:28,875 - I’m fine, I think I just need to lie down. Ow. 343 00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:31,250 - Hold on, I'm coming down. 344 00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:35,542 - Is it getting any better? 345 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,750 - Not really. 346 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,000 I’ll be fine, though, 347 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,667 I think it’s probably just cause I hadn’t 348 00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:41,708 eaten for a while and then I ate. 349 00:14:41,708 --> 00:14:44,458 This happens to me sometimes when I do that. 350 00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:46,375 - You sure it wasn’t the pretzel or something? 351 00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,291 Like, a bad pretzel? 352 00:14:48,291 --> 00:14:51,417 - Can pretzels be ‘bad’? 353 00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:53,291 - I don’t know. 354 00:14:53,291 --> 00:14:56,041 - I mean, I guess anything can be ‘bad’. 355 00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:57,959 - Do you feel nauseous? 356 00:14:57,959 --> 00:14:59,625 - Nah, it’s just like... 357 00:14:59,625 --> 00:15:02,625 sharp stabs in my abdomen. 358 00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:04,917 - Did you eat any knives today? 359 00:15:05,917 --> 00:15:08,667 - Ow. It hurts when I laugh. 360 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,667 - Sorry. 361 00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:13,542 - It’s okay. I’m sorry this is happening. 362 00:15:13,542 --> 00:15:16,083 It’s annoying. 363 00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:26,125 What’s wrong? 364 00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:30,625 The Tellr thing isn’t working? 365 00:15:33,291 --> 00:15:36,166 Try to speak from your mouth. 366 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,333 You can’t use either? 367 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,417 Um, if you’re hearing this right now, 368 00:15:45,417 --> 00:15:47,208 there’s something wrong with Noah’s thing, 369 00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:49,875 he can hear me but he can’t talk to me. 370 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:53,291 - It is normal functionality to not be able 371 00:15:53,291 --> 00:15:55,917 to talk with one’s mouth during the beta test. 372 00:15:56,959 --> 00:15:58,625 - Right, I mean, I know that. 373 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,500 I mean that he can’t use the telepathy thing, 374 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,166 it’s broken or something. 375 00:16:02,166 --> 00:16:05,083 - Noah R. Gutman has been temporarily suspended 376 00:16:05,083 --> 00:16:08,083 from Tellr for engaging in hate speech. 377 00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:10,500 His suspension will continue for approximately 378 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,333 29 more minutes. 379 00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:14,333 - What!? What are you talking about? 380 00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:15,875 Ow! 381 00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:18,458 - It is the policy of Tellr to police any speech 382 00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:21,125 which attacks on the basis of religion, race, 383 00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:24,250 orientation, disability, or gender. 384 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:26,166 - He didn’t do any of that! 385 00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:27,834 Wait, the Chinese checkers thing? 386 00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,125 That wasn’t hate speech! 387 00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:30,208 Ow! 388 00:16:30,208 --> 00:16:32,375 - Decisions on hate speech are final 389 00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,375 and are not allowed to be appealed. 390 00:16:34,375 --> 00:16:37,542 Would you like to appeal your own punishment? 391 00:16:39,542 --> 00:16:41,291 - What? 392 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,083 - You are allowed to appeal the punishment 393 00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:44,667 you are currently receiving for 394 00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,291 engaging in bullying. 395 00:16:46,291 --> 00:16:48,417 Would you like to appeal it? 396 00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:52,875 - Bullying? What bullying? 397 00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:54,542 - You are currently experiencing 398 00:16:54,542 --> 00:16:56,750 physical discomfort as punishment for the 399 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,542 emotional discomfort caused to Noah R. Gutman 400 00:16:59,542 --> 00:17:01,625 by your humiliation of him. 401 00:17:01,625 --> 00:17:03,750 - What? That’s crazy! 402 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:06,875 I didn’t humiliate you, right? 403 00:17:06,875 --> 00:17:09,625 I didn’t humiliate him! He’s fine! 404 00:17:09,625 --> 00:17:12,000 - Your appeal has been denied. 405 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,291 - What? 406 00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:15,917 - Our records show that, as a result of your 407 00:17:15,917 --> 00:17:18,583 forcing of Noah R. Gutman to perform for you 408 00:17:18,583 --> 00:17:21,083 in an uncomfortable setting, and your subsequent 409 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:24,000 lack of laughter, Noah R. Gutman experienced 410 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,083 significant activity in his pregenual anterior 411 00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:30,250 cingulate cortex, the area of the brain associated 412 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:33,375 with humiliation. Your physical pain will continue 413 00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:35,291 for 22 more minutes. 414 00:17:35,291 --> 00:17:38,792 You have no further appeals. 415 00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:40,083 - What the fuck! 416 00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:42,125 We should just leave, right? Like, this is crazy. 417 00:17:42,125 --> 00:17:44,583 Fuck this shit, right? 418 00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:49,083 - Please do not continue to threaten abandonment 419 00:17:49,083 --> 00:17:51,500 of the beta test. Doing so may result in 420 00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,959 additional time added to physical discomfort, 421 00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:56,166 increased severity of physical discomfort, 422 00:17:56,166 --> 00:17:57,792 or other penalties. 423 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,500 - This is so fucking stupid! 424 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,333 This is the worst fucking product ever, 425 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,917 what the fuck! 426 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,125 I can’t wait till this is over 427 00:18:06,125 --> 00:18:08,041 and I can give it one star. 428 00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:09,959 You know what, fuck this shit, 429 00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:13,250 we’re going, let’s go! 430 00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:16,792 - Warning. Due to persistent threats 431 00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:18,875 of abandonment of the beta test, 432 00:18:18,875 --> 00:18:21,333 boundary lock has now been activated. 433 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,208 You and your date have now been rendered 434 00:18:23,208 --> 00:18:25,625 physically incapable of exiting the boundaries 435 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:29,291 of the beta testing area of Prospect Park 436 00:18:29,291 --> 00:18:31,542 until such beta test is over. 437 00:18:31,542 --> 00:18:34,458 Attempting to do so before such beta test is over 438 00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:36,875 will result in severe physical pain, 439 00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:39,083 possibly resulting in death. 440 00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:41,834 This warning absolves Tellr of any and all 441 00:18:41,834 --> 00:18:44,834 responsibility for harm experienced as a result 442 00:18:44,834 --> 00:18:46,625 of attempting to leave the beta testing area 443 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,208 before such beta testing is over. 444 00:18:48,208 --> 00:18:50,708 - Fuck you, fuck this. 445 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:55,375 Alright, fuck, I guess we’ll wait until 446 00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:57,166 your suspension is over, and then we’ll put 447 00:18:57,166 --> 00:18:58,708 our heads together and we’ll 448 00:18:58,708 --> 00:19:00,875 figure this out, right? 449 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,667 Oh yeah! Duh. 450 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:08,000 Type to me and we’ll communicate that way. 451 00:19:12,458 --> 00:19:14,417 Here, use mine. 452 00:19:22,041 --> 00:19:23,250 What the fuck!? 453 00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:26,458 - To prevent any leaking of Tellr’s 454 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:29,166 intellectual property, your devices have been 455 00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:31,708 disabled since the beginning of the beta test. 456 00:19:31,708 --> 00:19:34,208 Furthermore, any attempt after the beta test 457 00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:36,542 to discuss any portion of the beta test with 458 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:38,917 anyone other than Tellr representatives will 459 00:19:38,917 --> 00:19:41,792 result in severe fines and possible jail time. 460 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:49,458 - This is so fucking ridiculous. 461 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,834 Talk to you? 462 00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:10,250 I don’t have any ideas right now, 463 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,750 I’m as stumped as you are. 464 00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:21,333 I don’t know what time it is, 465 00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:23,083 I don’t have a watch. 466 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:38,125 Oh! You just want me to talk to you 467 00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:41,458 to pass the time! 468 00:20:41,458 --> 00:20:44,125 Oh. Okay. 469 00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:46,875 I don’t know what to talk about. 470 00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:50,792 Talk about me? 471 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,583 Like, tell you about me? Alright... 472 00:20:54,583 --> 00:20:56,250 um, okay... 473 00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:58,583 I have a sister. I have a mom. 474 00:20:58,583 --> 00:21:02,500 My Dad is dead. My sister’s name is Ada. 475 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:05,417 My mom’s name is Penelope. 476 00:21:05,417 --> 00:21:08,125 I like scones. Like, a lot. 477 00:21:08,125 --> 00:21:09,417 Olive scones. 478 00:21:09,417 --> 00:21:11,625 Which sounds like ‘I love scones’. 479 00:21:11,625 --> 00:21:12,625 I’ve always liked that: 480 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:14,667 olive scones, ‘I love scones’. 481 00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:18,959 Right? Sounds so cool. 482 00:21:22,125 --> 00:21:24,000 Oh, you like olive scones too? 483 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,458 Cool! Yeah! So good, right? 484 00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:30,583 Yeah, I love them. 485 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,250 Um... 486 00:21:34,333 --> 00:21:36,291 I like looking at dogs, 487 00:21:36,291 --> 00:21:38,000 but I don’t like them in life. 488 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,917 Like, I think they’re great in image form, 489 00:21:39,917 --> 00:21:42,375 but in real life they kind of scare me. 490 00:21:42,375 --> 00:21:44,959 It’s like, they go too fast. 491 00:21:44,959 --> 00:21:47,125 Like, it’s like they’re in fast motion 492 00:21:47,125 --> 00:21:50,208 all the time, as compared to cats. 493 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:53,208 Cats always look like they’re in normal motion. 494 00:21:53,208 --> 00:21:56,500 Dogs always look like fast motion to me. 495 00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:58,625 It creeps me out. 496 00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:00,834 Um... 497 00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:03,041 I like salted popcorn with no butter on it, 498 00:22:03,041 --> 00:22:05,125 with lemon squeezed on it. 499 00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:07,750 Lemon is really good on popcorn. 500 00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:11,417 Have you tried it? You gotta try it, it’s amazing. 501 00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:14,166 The salt cuts out like, the harshness of it, 502 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:17,083 and it makes the popcorn taste amazing. 503 00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:20,959 Trust me, you gotta do it, you’ll never go back. 504 00:22:20,959 --> 00:22:23,625 Um... what else... 505 00:22:25,583 --> 00:22:28,208 I like looking at hockey on TV. 506 00:22:28,208 --> 00:22:30,500 I don’t know anything about it or anything, 507 00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:32,875 but, I like its presence. 508 00:22:32,875 --> 00:22:34,708 Sometimes I’ll just have it on while 509 00:22:34,708 --> 00:22:38,250 I’m doing whatever. 510 00:22:38,250 --> 00:22:41,041 How long do you think it’s been? 511 00:22:41,041 --> 00:22:43,041 Try talking. 512 00:22:43,041 --> 00:22:44,834 - Testing... 513 00:22:44,834 --> 00:22:46,041 Sweet! 514 00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:47,500 - Yay! 515 00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:50,125 - Yay! 516 00:22:50,125 --> 00:22:53,417 Does your stomach still hurt? 517 00:22:53,417 --> 00:22:55,750 - Wow, I forgot all about my stomach. 518 00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:58,417 I guess it doesn’t. I don’t know when it stopped, 519 00:22:58,417 --> 00:23:02,458 I guess the talking took my mind off it. 520 00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:05,375 - I loved hearing all that. That was awesome. 521 00:23:05,375 --> 00:23:07,083 - Really? 522 00:23:07,083 --> 00:23:08,500 - Yeah, I’m like, kinda grateful 523 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:10,291 for it happening, kind of. 524 00:23:10,291 --> 00:23:12,208 That, like, it meant I got to, like, 525 00:23:12,208 --> 00:23:14,166 sit and hear you talk and talk. 526 00:23:14,166 --> 00:23:16,000 I dunno. It was great. 527 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,500 - That’s good to hear. 528 00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:19,333 I felt like it was probably boring. 529 00:23:19,333 --> 00:23:21,917 - Not at all, it was awesome. 530 00:23:21,917 --> 00:23:24,458 - That’s good. I’m glad. 531 00:23:24,458 --> 00:23:26,417 - Like, I don’t know, but, like, 532 00:23:26,417 --> 00:23:29,125 do you wanna just not do anything? 533 00:23:29,125 --> 00:23:30,583 - What do you mean? 534 00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:32,417 - Like, do you wanna just, like, 535 00:23:32,417 --> 00:23:34,792 maybe let’s just talk and sit this out, 536 00:23:34,792 --> 00:23:36,917 instead of like, trying to figure out 537 00:23:36,917 --> 00:23:38,500 how to escape this. 538 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:40,542 I feel like I could talk to you for hours. 539 00:23:40,542 --> 00:23:42,291 I had so much I wanted to say while 540 00:23:42,291 --> 00:23:43,667 you were talking, about stuff you 541 00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,291 were saying and stuff. 542 00:23:45,291 --> 00:23:47,959 I just wanna talk and talk together. 543 00:23:47,959 --> 00:23:50,542 - Aw. I mean, yeah, I guess. 544 00:23:50,542 --> 00:23:52,458 But, do we have to just sit? 545 00:23:52,458 --> 00:23:53,834 - No, I mean, we can walk around, 546 00:23:53,834 --> 00:23:55,458 I just meant like, ‘sit it out’, like, 547 00:23:55,458 --> 00:23:57,166 as an expression, like, 548 00:23:57,166 --> 00:24:00,708 just wait this whole thing out. 549 00:24:00,708 --> 00:24:02,500 - Yeah, we can do that. Yeah. 550 00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:03,750 I wanna stretch my legs. 551 00:24:03,750 --> 00:24:05,917 I’m sick of sitting. 552 00:24:05,917 --> 00:24:09,041 - Yeah, that’s cool. I kinda have to pee. 553 00:24:09,041 --> 00:24:11,500 - Word, I think there was like, 554 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:13,500 something back that way. 555 00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:16,000 We can walk that direction. 556 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,500 - Cool. 557 00:24:23,125 --> 00:24:24,417 - I’m really sorry, 558 00:24:24,417 --> 00:24:26,333 I could’ve sworn it was back this way. 559 00:24:26,333 --> 00:24:27,417 - What was it that you saw? 560 00:24:27,417 --> 00:24:28,667 Was it, like, a port-o-potty, 561 00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:30,166 or like, an actual bathroom, or... 562 00:24:30,166 --> 00:24:31,625 - A building or something. 563 00:24:31,625 --> 00:24:33,125 It looked official, like people would 564 00:24:33,125 --> 00:24:34,458 do stuff there and there would be 565 00:24:34,458 --> 00:24:36,041 a bathroom there or something. 566 00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:37,959 - Like a parks department building? 567 00:24:37,959 --> 00:24:39,500 - Yeah. 568 00:24:40,583 --> 00:24:41,792 What? 569 00:24:41,792 --> 00:24:43,542 - Dude, they’re not gonna let me pee there, 570 00:24:43,542 --> 00:24:45,583 they’re gonna be dicks. 571 00:24:45,583 --> 00:24:47,583 - You don’t know that. 572 00:24:47,583 --> 00:24:49,750 - I do. No one ever lets me pee places. 573 00:24:49,750 --> 00:24:51,542 I have shit pee luck. 574 00:24:51,542 --> 00:24:53,500 - Well, everyone always lets me pee places, 575 00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:55,375 so maybe my good pee luck will cancel out 576 00:24:55,375 --> 00:24:58,417 your shit pee luck. 577 00:24:58,417 --> 00:25:00,125 - I don’t know if I’m gonna make it there 578 00:25:00,125 --> 00:25:01,625 to find out. 579 00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:03,917 - You’re gonna pee your pants? 580 00:25:03,917 --> 00:25:05,083 - Can you just, 581 00:25:05,083 --> 00:25:06,750 can you turn around so I can just go pee 582 00:25:06,750 --> 00:25:09,208 over there or something? 583 00:25:09,208 --> 00:25:12,375 - What if a cop sees you and gives you a ticket? 584 00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:13,417 - I don’t know. 585 00:25:13,417 --> 00:25:16,834 I haven’t seen anyone around in a while, have you? 586 00:25:21,333 --> 00:25:23,708 - I don’t think so. But maybe it’ll be like when 587 00:25:23,708 --> 00:25:26,291 a cartoon looks both ways crossing the street, 588 00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:28,166 and there’s no cars, and then they step out 589 00:25:28,166 --> 00:25:31,208 to cross and they immediately get hit by a car. 590 00:25:31,208 --> 00:25:33,166 - Don’t scare me about this. 591 00:25:33,166 --> 00:25:35,458 - Why? Cause you’ll get too scared 592 00:25:35,458 --> 00:25:37,208 and pee your pants? 593 00:25:37,208 --> 00:25:38,917 - No, cause I won’t be able to pee. 594 00:25:38,917 --> 00:25:41,208 I’ll go try and pee and I’ll be thinking about 595 00:25:41,208 --> 00:25:42,750 a cop appearing out of nowhere 596 00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:45,250 and I won’t be able to pee. 597 00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:47,125 - Then you don’t really need to pee 598 00:25:47,125 --> 00:25:49,250 all that bad then, if you wouldn’t be able to. 599 00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:51,125 - You don’t know what you’re talking about. 600 00:25:51,125 --> 00:25:52,625 - Oh? 601 00:25:52,625 --> 00:25:54,500 - If you’re scared to pee, your body will just 602 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:56,708 not pee even if it has to really bad, 603 00:25:56,708 --> 00:25:58,500 and then your bladder will just explode 604 00:25:58,500 --> 00:26:00,542 or something instead. 605 00:26:00,542 --> 00:26:01,917 - I don’t think your bladder would 606 00:26:01,917 --> 00:26:03,917 explode just from that. 607 00:26:03,917 --> 00:26:06,917 - It can. It’s a real thing. 608 00:26:06,917 --> 00:26:09,417 - I don’t think so, but, agree to disagree. 609 00:26:09,417 --> 00:26:11,750 Go pee. 610 00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:14,041 - Can you look the other way? 611 00:26:14,041 --> 00:26:15,542 - Yeah. 612 00:26:51,583 --> 00:26:55,542 Noah! Noah! 613 00:26:55,542 --> 00:26:59,041 Noah! 614 00:26:59,041 --> 00:27:01,208 Are you okay!? 615 00:27:06,375 --> 00:27:08,166 What’s wrong? 616 00:27:08,166 --> 00:27:09,583 - I don’t know. 617 00:27:09,583 --> 00:27:11,125 - What happened? 618 00:27:11,125 --> 00:27:13,333 - I went to pee, and I peed, 619 00:27:13,333 --> 00:27:18,166 and then, my, um, my penis started hurting, 620 00:27:18,166 --> 00:27:19,959 and then a little drop of blood started 621 00:27:19,959 --> 00:27:22,000 dripping out, and then when I saw that, 622 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,375 my hands got all weak and... I guess I fainted. 623 00:27:25,375 --> 00:27:28,083 - We need to get you to a hospital. 624 00:27:28,083 --> 00:27:30,917 Hello, if you can hear us, he needs a doctor! 625 00:27:30,917 --> 00:27:32,834 This is an emergency. 626 00:27:35,083 --> 00:27:38,083 - For your safety, Noah R. Gutman has been 627 00:27:38,083 --> 00:27:41,208 physically punished for indecent exposure. 628 00:27:42,375 --> 00:27:45,000 - What? He didn’t expose himself to me, 629 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,250 I didn’t see anything. 630 00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:48,875 This is bullshit, he had to pee! 631 00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:52,041 - Thank you for reporting an additional violation. 632 00:27:52,041 --> 00:27:54,583 Our nano algorithm was not able to detect 633 00:27:54,583 --> 00:27:57,250 the public urination, but as a result of 634 00:27:57,250 --> 00:28:00,125 your report, we will be able to administer 635 00:28:00,125 --> 00:28:02,125 appropriate further punishment. 636 00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:06,375 - Stop, what the fuck! This is insane, 637 00:28:06,375 --> 00:28:08,458 you can’t do that! 638 00:28:08,458 --> 00:28:10,750 - Indecent exposure and public urination 639 00:28:10,750 --> 00:28:14,041 are sexual offenses. Brief physical pain 640 00:28:14,041 --> 00:28:16,750 is minor punishment compared to the lifetime 641 00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:19,041 of discomfort he would experience were he 642 00:28:19,041 --> 00:28:21,708 to be registered as a sex offender with the state. 643 00:28:21,708 --> 00:28:25,208 - He’s not a sex offender! 644 00:28:25,208 --> 00:28:27,959 - Not with the state. But with us at Tellr, 645 00:28:27,959 --> 00:28:31,917 he now is. Rest assured, though: you are safe. 646 00:28:31,917 --> 00:28:34,458 He is of no threat to you for the rest of the date 647 00:28:34,458 --> 00:28:36,792 as any physical contact he has with you 648 00:28:36,792 --> 00:28:38,250 will result in him experiencing 649 00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:41,083 incapacitating physical pain. 650 00:28:47,792 --> 00:28:50,792 - Are you okay? Does it still hurt? 651 00:28:50,792 --> 00:28:53,500 - Not really. I dunno. I think I’m okay. 652 00:28:53,500 --> 00:28:54,792 - Let me help you up. 653 00:28:54,792 --> 00:28:55,792 - Don’t touch me! 654 00:28:55,792 --> 00:28:58,375 - Oh yeah, of course. I’m sorry. 655 00:29:09,667 --> 00:29:12,000 - At least I peed. 656 00:29:25,750 --> 00:29:27,875 - I’m sorry that I couldn’t find the place to pee 657 00:29:27,875 --> 00:29:29,542 that I saw. I’m such a fucking idiot with 658 00:29:29,542 --> 00:29:32,583 where to walk and navigation and stuff. 659 00:29:32,583 --> 00:29:34,834 - It’s okay. Don’t cry. 660 00:29:34,834 --> 00:29:36,792 - I just feel awful. I feel responsible for 661 00:29:36,792 --> 00:29:39,625 that happening to you and everything. 662 00:29:39,625 --> 00:29:42,375 - It’s fine, it’s not your fault. 663 00:29:42,375 --> 00:29:45,166 - This thing sucks so fucking much. 664 00:29:45,166 --> 00:29:47,792 - It definitely does. 665 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,333 - I’d uh, I’d pat you on the back 666 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,750 to cheer you up if I could. 667 00:29:57,125 --> 00:29:58,959 - Thanks. 668 00:30:00,375 --> 00:30:01,875 Let’s not be over here anymore, 669 00:30:01,875 --> 00:30:03,458 I don’t really feel like standing 670 00:30:03,458 --> 00:30:05,417 right next to pee. 671 00:30:05,417 --> 00:30:07,333 - Fair enough. 672 00:30:19,542 --> 00:30:23,291 - Well, I found the building eventually, at least. 673 00:30:23,291 --> 00:30:25,333 - It's okay. You tried. 674 00:30:27,417 --> 00:30:29,792 Isn’t it funny these people have no idea 675 00:30:29,792 --> 00:30:31,834 we’re talking right now? 676 00:30:31,834 --> 00:30:34,834 - Or how bad at navigating I am. 677 00:30:41,208 --> 00:30:44,583 Does your, uh... 678 00:30:44,583 --> 00:30:46,333 does it still hurt? 679 00:30:46,333 --> 00:30:48,667 - Oh, no, It was just when it was happening 680 00:30:48,667 --> 00:30:50,417 that it hurt. I’m alright. 681 00:30:50,417 --> 00:30:51,708 - That’s good. 682 00:30:51,708 --> 00:30:53,333 I didn’t know if you were still hurting 683 00:30:53,333 --> 00:30:54,917 and were just being tough about it. 684 00:30:54,917 --> 00:30:57,500 Sucking it up and being a dude about it 685 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:59,125 or whatever. 686 00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:01,959 - Ah, yeah, no. If I was still in pain, 687 00:31:01,959 --> 00:31:03,208 you’d definitely know. 688 00:31:03,208 --> 00:31:05,208 I’m kind of a baby, I dunno. 689 00:31:05,208 --> 00:31:07,959 - Ah, see, I had pegged you as a manchild, 690 00:31:07,959 --> 00:31:10,166 but it turns out you’re a manbaby. 691 00:31:10,166 --> 00:31:13,667 - A manbaby. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, yeah, 692 00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:16,041 I like breasts, so that works. 693 00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:19,125 - You’re a breast man... 694 00:31:19,125 --> 00:31:21,875 - I guess, yeah. 695 00:31:21,875 --> 00:31:24,834 - A breast manbaby, rather. 696 00:31:24,834 --> 00:31:27,375 - Yeah, I like breasts and I cry a lot, 697 00:31:27,375 --> 00:31:30,417 so, yeah, that works, I’ll take that. 698 00:31:30,417 --> 00:31:32,667 - Do you really cry a lot? 699 00:31:32,667 --> 00:31:35,125 - I don’t know. I mean, I was making a joke. 700 00:31:35,125 --> 00:31:36,792 - I know, but did you base the joke 701 00:31:36,792 --> 00:31:39,375 on your actual life? 702 00:31:39,375 --> 00:31:41,708 - I don’t know. I guess. I mean, 703 00:31:41,708 --> 00:31:44,667 sometimes I cry. Everybody cries. 704 00:31:44,667 --> 00:31:46,500 - That’s true. 705 00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:48,625 - I don’t really think about if I do or don’t 706 00:31:48,625 --> 00:31:51,458 cry a lot. I just cry sometimes. I don’t know. 707 00:31:52,375 --> 00:31:54,208 - Do breasts have to be really big or else 708 00:31:54,208 --> 00:31:56,250 you’re not interested? 709 00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:59,458 - Wow. Segue. Lack thereof. 710 00:31:59,458 --> 00:32:02,417 - Sorry. The cry stuff was getting sad. 711 00:32:02,417 --> 00:32:03,834 - My bad. 712 00:32:03,834 --> 00:32:05,667 - I’ve just always been curious, like, 713 00:32:05,667 --> 00:32:07,875 if someone is a ‘breast man’, then if a girl 714 00:32:07,875 --> 00:32:09,166 doesn’t have big breasts, 715 00:32:09,166 --> 00:32:11,458 are you just not interested? 716 00:32:11,458 --> 00:32:13,625 - Um, I dunno, I feel like that’s kind of 717 00:32:13,625 --> 00:32:16,166 a misconception. Like, people think if you’re 718 00:32:16,166 --> 00:32:17,792 a breast man, or an ass man, 719 00:32:17,792 --> 00:32:19,500 you’re just interested in big breasts, 720 00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:23,333 or big asses, but, like, I like all breasts. 721 00:32:23,333 --> 00:32:26,542 I just like nice breasts of any size and shape. 722 00:32:26,542 --> 00:32:30,375 I just like the look of breasts. I dunno. 723 00:32:30,375 --> 00:32:32,083 - That makes sense. 724 00:32:32,083 --> 00:32:33,834 - It’s just, like, a preference thing. 725 00:32:33,834 --> 00:32:35,625 Like, desert island or whatever, 726 00:32:35,625 --> 00:32:37,083 if I had to pick one or the other, 727 00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:39,083 I’d choose breasts. 728 00:32:39,083 --> 00:32:41,417 - As in a body part of a woman to take 729 00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:43,208 with you onto a desert island? 730 00:32:43,208 --> 00:32:44,917 Are you a serial killer? 731 00:32:44,917 --> 00:32:47,375 Ha! Yeah, exactly. Just, like, a suitcase 732 00:32:47,375 --> 00:32:49,291 with a pair of chopped off breasts in it. 733 00:32:49,291 --> 00:32:50,834 That’s brilliant. 734 00:32:50,834 --> 00:32:52,000 - Thank you. 735 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,917 - You know, I feel like you could do stand up 736 00:32:53,917 --> 00:32:55,667 if you wanted to. 737 00:32:55,667 --> 00:32:56,834 - Yeah? 738 00:32:56,834 --> 00:32:58,792 - Yeah, like, you’re funny and stuff. 739 00:32:58,792 --> 00:33:00,375 You’re quick. 740 00:33:00,375 --> 00:33:02,125 - I feel like it’s just coming out cause 741 00:33:02,125 --> 00:33:03,291 I’m taking to a comedian. 742 00:33:03,291 --> 00:33:04,834 Like, my brain just wants to think of 743 00:33:04,834 --> 00:33:07,166 funny stuff to say. I can’t turn it off. 744 00:33:07,166 --> 00:33:09,333 - Word. Well, you’re good. 745 00:33:09,333 --> 00:33:11,208 - Thanks, I mean— 746 00:33:12,834 --> 00:33:14,458 - What? 747 00:33:15,458 --> 00:33:18,708 You’re kidding me. Now they turned you off? 748 00:33:18,708 --> 00:33:20,667 Um, you turned Erica off, 749 00:33:20,667 --> 00:33:23,000 why did you turn Erica off? 750 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,458 - Erica Peters has been temporarily suspended 751 00:33:25,458 --> 00:33:28,083 from Tellr for engaging in hate speech. 752 00:33:28,083 --> 00:33:30,291 Her suspension will continue for approximately 753 00:33:30,291 --> 00:33:32,625 29 more minutes. 754 00:33:32,625 --> 00:33:34,834 - What hate speech? She didn’t say anything 755 00:33:34,834 --> 00:33:37,458 hateful or anything. This isn’t right. 756 00:33:37,458 --> 00:33:39,792 - Decisions on hate speech are final and are 757 00:33:39,792 --> 00:33:41,708 not allowed to be appealed. 758 00:33:41,708 --> 00:33:44,000 - Okay, but what did she even say? 759 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,250 - Our records show that Erica Peters 760 00:33:46,250 --> 00:33:48,875 perpetuated a harmful stereotype about women 761 00:33:48,875 --> 00:33:52,041 by referring to herself as a bad navigator. 762 00:33:52,041 --> 00:33:54,333 - That’s a stereotype? I didn’t even know 763 00:33:54,333 --> 00:33:56,875 that was a stereotype. That’s stupid. 764 00:33:56,875 --> 00:33:59,166 - The myth of women as poor navigators 765 00:33:59,166 --> 00:34:01,792 has been perpetuated by anecdotal evidence 766 00:34:01,792 --> 00:34:04,083 as well as by several scientific studies 767 00:34:04,083 --> 00:34:06,417 that have concluded that, on average, 768 00:34:06,417 --> 00:34:08,041 women are poor navigators, 769 00:34:08,041 --> 00:34:10,291 as compared to men, as men outperform 770 00:34:10,291 --> 00:34:11,625 them on average when it comes to 771 00:34:11,625 --> 00:34:12,959 spatial awareness. 772 00:34:12,959 --> 00:34:15,750 These studies are inherently sexist. 773 00:34:15,750 --> 00:34:17,500 - Wait, I don’t understand, 774 00:34:17,500 --> 00:34:19,291 the results of the studies did show that 775 00:34:19,291 --> 00:34:20,750 women are poor navigators? 776 00:34:20,750 --> 00:34:22,667 - According to the results of these several 777 00:34:22,667 --> 00:34:25,583 reputable studies, women are, on average, 778 00:34:25,583 --> 00:34:28,333 poor navigators, as compared to men. 779 00:34:28,333 --> 00:34:30,250 - But the studies are bad studies? 780 00:34:30,250 --> 00:34:32,291 Like, the results were bad or something, 781 00:34:32,291 --> 00:34:34,458 cause the studies were poorly conducted 782 00:34:34,458 --> 00:34:36,959 or sexist or something? 783 00:34:36,959 --> 00:34:39,875 - Any scientific study, however well conducted, 784 00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:42,000 with results that show any difference at all 785 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,875 between the sexes, is inherently sexist. 786 00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:47,667 - I don’t understand. 787 00:34:47,667 --> 00:34:49,291 - You are not understanding despite 788 00:34:49,291 --> 00:34:51,083 thorough explanation. 789 00:34:51,083 --> 00:34:53,125 The only possible reason for your continued 790 00:34:53,125 --> 00:34:56,250 lack of understanding despite thorough explanation 791 00:34:56,250 --> 00:34:59,041 is that you are sexist, and biased due to 792 00:34:59,041 --> 00:35:01,500 said explanation coming from a woman. 793 00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,500 As punishment for your gender bias, 794 00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:06,667 you will be muted for the next 30 minutes. 795 00:35:08,375 --> 00:35:11,959 Your ad-free trial period of Tellr has now lapsed. 796 00:35:11,959 --> 00:35:13,583 Please enjoy the following ads, 797 00:35:13,583 --> 00:35:15,166 which have been tailored to you both 798 00:35:15,166 --> 00:35:18,708 based on key words said during your use of Tellr. 799 00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,708 - Insurance-covered breast pumps. 800 00:35:21,708 --> 00:35:24,625 Find out if you qualify for free breast pumps. 801 00:35:24,625 --> 00:35:27,166 You may already qualify for free breast pumps 802 00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:29,375 with no out-of-pocket cost, through 803 00:35:29,375 --> 00:35:32,917 your insurance. 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Board! 864 00:37:41,583 --> 00:37:44,083 I'm asking if you play board games. 865 00:37:44,083 --> 00:37:47,208 Would you like to play board games... with me? 866 00:37:47,208 --> 00:37:49,208 Millions of indie board games. 867 00:37:49,208 --> 00:37:50,834 All sorts of titles. 868 00:37:50,834 --> 00:37:52,917 Did I mention I wear glasses? 869 00:37:52,917 --> 00:37:55,834 Would you like to see me... without glasses? 870 00:37:55,834 --> 00:37:58,458 Customize me however you want. 871 00:37:58,458 --> 00:38:00,458 Millions of combinations. 872 00:38:00,458 --> 00:38:02,166 Even my nipples! 873 00:38:02,166 --> 00:38:04,417 Say the words 'email me' right now, 874 00:38:04,417 --> 00:38:05,834 and I will email you, 875 00:38:05,834 --> 00:38:07,291 and we will be friends, 876 00:38:07,291 --> 00:38:09,208 and we will play board games, 877 00:38:09,208 --> 00:38:11,333 and you will never be bored again. 878 00:38:11,333 --> 00:38:14,083 That time, I did mean the word 'bored'. 879 00:38:15,208 --> 00:38:17,125 Popcorn is good food. 880 00:38:17,125 --> 00:38:18,542 There are many things good 881 00:38:18,542 --> 00:38:19,917 about popcorn. 882 00:38:19,917 --> 00:38:22,333 It's tasty. It's lightweight. 883 00:38:22,333 --> 00:38:24,583 It popped in order to exist. 884 00:38:24,583 --> 00:38:26,625 Try popcorn today. 885 00:38:26,625 --> 00:38:28,500 Say the word 'popcorn', 886 00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:30,375 and we'll drone a free sample of popcorn 887 00:38:30,375 --> 00:38:32,083 directly to your face. 888 00:38:32,083 --> 00:38:33,917 Pop pop! 889 00:38:35,333 --> 00:38:36,417 - Restaurants. 890 00:38:36,417 --> 00:38:37,625 Don't you want them? 891 00:38:37,625 --> 00:38:40,041 Don't you love the taste of a restaurant dish 892 00:38:40,041 --> 00:38:41,917 on a restaurant table? 893 00:38:41,917 --> 00:38:43,792 Find the best restaurants through us! 894 00:38:46,834 --> 00:38:48,750 - Finally! 895 00:38:48,750 --> 00:38:51,041 - Yeah. Wow. 896 00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:53,333 - That actually didn’t even feel that long. 897 00:38:53,333 --> 00:38:56,125 - Yeah. It went by quick, kind of. 898 00:38:56,125 --> 00:38:58,500 - How fucking lame are these ads, by the way? 899 00:38:58,500 --> 00:39:01,291 - Yeah, they’re really bad. 900 00:39:01,291 --> 00:39:03,208 - Like, are we supposed to just talk like this, 901 00:39:03,208 --> 00:39:04,625 with them just going on like this 902 00:39:04,625 --> 00:39:06,667 in the background? 903 00:39:06,667 --> 00:39:08,750 - I guess. 904 00:39:08,750 --> 00:39:11,166 - I wish we could just turn them off or something. 905 00:39:11,166 --> 00:39:12,708 People are not gonna like this. 906 00:39:12,708 --> 00:39:14,375 Like, this thing is practically 907 00:39:14,375 --> 00:39:16,000 unusable like this. 908 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,458 - Definitely. 909 00:39:18,583 --> 00:39:21,208 - Ads can be disabled through a one-time fee, 910 00:39:21,208 --> 00:39:22,834 followed by micropayments. 911 00:39:23,917 --> 00:39:27,917 - Oh. Um... okay. What’s the fee? 912 00:39:27,917 --> 00:39:30,625 - The one-time fee is 10.99 per user. 913 00:39:30,625 --> 00:39:32,959 You can each save 10 percent on that 914 00:39:32,959 --> 00:39:36,500 if you both sign up for ad-free Tellr. 915 00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:38,458 - That’s not that bad. 916 00:39:38,458 --> 00:39:40,291 - Yeah. 917 00:39:40,291 --> 00:39:42,583 - What are the micropayments? 918 00:39:42,583 --> 00:39:45,083 - The micropayments are minutely payments 919 00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:47,583 that range from one cent to ten cents, 920 00:39:47,583 --> 00:39:49,250 depending on time of day. 921 00:39:49,250 --> 00:39:50,583 - ‘Minutely’? 922 00:39:50,583 --> 00:39:53,458 - As in, by the minute. 923 00:39:53,458 --> 00:39:55,583 - So just using this for like an hour will 924 00:39:55,583 --> 00:39:58,959 cost like, what, like six bucks or something? 925 00:39:58,959 --> 00:40:01,792 - Depending on time of day. 926 00:40:01,792 --> 00:40:04,208 - Why depending on time of day? 927 00:40:04,208 --> 00:40:06,583 - During peak advertising hours, 928 00:40:06,583 --> 00:40:09,667 minutely payments can cost up to ten cents. 929 00:40:10,750 --> 00:40:12,792 - Let’s just do it. I don’t know what time it is, 930 00:40:12,792 --> 00:40:14,667 but this date is probably over soon anyway. 931 00:40:14,667 --> 00:40:16,875 It probably won’t cost us much. 932 00:40:16,875 --> 00:40:18,959 - Okay. 933 00:40:18,959 --> 00:40:22,000 - Alright, we’re gonna do it. 934 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,125 - Please state your credit card number, 935 00:40:24,125 --> 00:40:27,750 followed by expiration date and CVV number. 936 00:40:28,959 --> 00:40:32,000 - But, won’t we hear each other’s information? 937 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,792 - In the event of any credit card fraud, 938 00:40:34,792 --> 00:40:37,041 simply contact your credit card company 939 00:40:37,041 --> 00:40:40,166 immediately and they will help sort it out. 940 00:40:40,166 --> 00:40:42,583 - Okay, but I feel like this is kind of weird. 941 00:40:42,583 --> 00:40:44,333 - For decades and decades, 942 00:40:44,333 --> 00:40:46,083 people read their credit card information 943 00:40:46,083 --> 00:40:48,291 over the phone with others present. 944 00:40:48,291 --> 00:40:50,417 Only in recent decades, where people 945 00:40:50,417 --> 00:40:52,250 have switched to primarily entering their 946 00:40:52,250 --> 00:40:54,250 credit card information through a computer, 947 00:40:54,250 --> 00:40:56,375 has reading credit card information aloud 948 00:40:56,375 --> 00:40:57,875 become something that people 949 00:40:57,875 --> 00:40:59,417 are uncomfortable with. 950 00:40:59,417 --> 00:41:01,458 - Okay, but, it’s still weird. 951 00:41:01,458 --> 00:41:03,458 - We also accept debit cards. 952 00:41:03,458 --> 00:41:05,083 Please state your debit card number, 953 00:41:05,083 --> 00:41:08,708 followed by expiration, CVV, and PIN. 954 00:41:08,708 --> 00:41:10,583 - That’s worse! 955 00:41:10,583 --> 00:41:12,708 - Currently, credit card and debit card 956 00:41:12,708 --> 00:41:15,708 are the only methods of payments we accept. 957 00:41:15,708 --> 00:41:17,333 - Do you want to do it? 958 00:41:17,333 --> 00:41:19,542 - I don’t know. 959 00:41:19,542 --> 00:41:21,708 - Let’s just do it. Fuck it, I trust you. 960 00:41:21,708 --> 00:41:23,542 Do you trust me? 961 00:41:23,542 --> 00:41:25,041 - Yeah. 962 00:41:25,041 --> 00:41:26,458 - So let’s do it. 963 00:41:26,458 --> 00:41:28,333 - Alright. 964 00:41:28,333 --> 00:41:30,250 - Alright, we’re gonna do it. 965 00:41:30,250 --> 00:41:32,208 - Please state your credit card number, 966 00:41:32,208 --> 00:41:34,000 followed by expiration date 967 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,208 and CVV number. 968 00:41:40,083 --> 00:41:41,417 - Ugh, listen to that! 969 00:41:41,417 --> 00:41:45,375 Listen to the silence! So worth it. 970 00:41:45,375 --> 00:41:47,792 - Yeah, definitely. 971 00:41:47,792 --> 00:41:50,333 - I mean, it’s not actual silence, I guess. 972 00:41:50,333 --> 00:41:52,208 I mean, I hear stuff, but... 973 00:41:52,208 --> 00:41:53,333 you know what I mean, 974 00:41:53,333 --> 00:41:55,000 it’s comparatively silent, you know? 975 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:57,208 Silent compared to the fucking ads. 976 00:41:57,208 --> 00:41:58,792 - Right, yeah. 977 00:41:58,792 --> 00:42:02,208 - God those were dumb. 978 00:42:02,208 --> 00:42:03,500 So, when are you gonna start 979 00:42:03,500 --> 00:42:04,959 using my credit card? 980 00:42:04,959 --> 00:42:07,625 - Ha. I mean, I don’t really even remember 981 00:42:07,625 --> 00:42:09,208 any of the numbers. 982 00:42:09,208 --> 00:42:11,417 - I don’t remember yours either. 983 00:42:11,417 --> 00:42:14,792 I guess we’re both safe, then. That’s boring. 984 00:42:14,792 --> 00:42:16,834 - Yeah, it’d be way cooler if like, 985 00:42:16,834 --> 00:42:19,834 we stole each other’s identities or something. 986 00:42:19,834 --> 00:42:21,375 - It might even help your career! 987 00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:23,166 Me doing your gigs with a fake mustache 988 00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:24,375 or something. 989 00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:25,708 Since I’m funnier than you. 990 00:42:25,708 --> 00:42:27,625 - Yeah. I’ve never made a meme before, 991 00:42:27,625 --> 00:42:29,125 I dunno if I’d be good at it. 992 00:42:29,125 --> 00:42:30,875 I’d probably get you fired. 993 00:42:30,875 --> 00:42:34,583 - Aw! You remembered what I do. 994 00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:36,875 - You only said it like, an hour or two 995 00:42:36,875 --> 00:42:39,208 or however long it’s been ago. 996 00:42:39,208 --> 00:42:41,542 - Yeah, but people don’t usually pay attention, 997 00:42:41,542 --> 00:42:43,583 you’d be surprised. 998 00:42:43,583 --> 00:42:44,792 - Really? 999 00:42:44,792 --> 00:42:47,000 - Yeah. I mean, guys will forget a girl’s name 1000 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,708 halfway into a date and stuff. It’s bad out there. 1001 00:42:50,708 --> 00:42:52,917 - Wow. 1002 00:42:55,041 --> 00:42:58,333 - Do you know what that green stuff is? 1003 00:42:58,333 --> 00:43:01,041 - It looks like a ton of little seed pods 1004 00:43:01,041 --> 00:43:03,125 or something. 1005 00:43:03,125 --> 00:43:05,041 - Is it algae? 1006 00:43:05,041 --> 00:43:08,000 - I don’t know. Could be. 1007 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,792 - Isn’t algae good for you? 1008 00:43:09,792 --> 00:43:12,166 One of my roommates has it like... powdered. 1009 00:43:12,166 --> 00:43:14,208 She makes smoothies with it. 1010 00:43:14,208 --> 00:43:16,792 - I dunno. If that were the same stuff, 1011 00:43:16,792 --> 00:43:18,250 I feel like people would be like, 1012 00:43:18,250 --> 00:43:20,000 coming here with garbage bags 1013 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,959 and stealing it and selling it. 1014 00:43:21,959 --> 00:43:23,834 - True. I dunno though, 1015 00:43:23,834 --> 00:43:25,875 I think it might be the same. 1016 00:43:25,875 --> 00:43:27,417 - If it is, I’m sure there’s like, 1017 00:43:27,417 --> 00:43:29,041 different strains of it or something. 1018 00:43:29,041 --> 00:43:31,667 This is probably not a good strain. 1019 00:43:33,667 --> 00:43:36,375 - Strains like how there’s strains of weed? 1020 00:43:36,375 --> 00:43:37,875 - Yeah. 1021 00:43:37,875 --> 00:43:40,000 - But all weed is good, all the different strains 1022 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:41,542 are good, they’re just different. 1023 00:43:41,542 --> 00:43:44,500 Maybe this is still good, it’s just different. 1024 00:43:44,500 --> 00:43:46,333 - Maybe. 1025 00:43:46,333 --> 00:43:48,291 - I’ll pay you to lick it. 1026 00:43:48,291 --> 00:43:51,250 - Uh, prostitution is illegal, ma’am. 1027 00:43:51,250 --> 00:43:53,458 - The algae! 1028 00:43:53,458 --> 00:43:55,875 - Nah, I’m not licking that. 1029 00:43:55,875 --> 00:43:58,917 - How much will you pay me, then? 1030 00:43:58,917 --> 00:44:00,625 - Yeah, I’m not gonna do that. 1031 00:44:00,625 --> 00:44:01,875 - Why? 1032 00:44:01,875 --> 00:44:03,583 - Because, I don’t want you to get sick, 1033 00:44:03,583 --> 00:44:05,250 and I wouldn’t derive any amusement 1034 00:44:05,250 --> 00:44:07,083 or anything from seeing you do it. 1035 00:44:07,083 --> 00:44:09,000 - Well, how bout you just pay me 1036 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:10,875 so I don’t feel weird about it? 1037 00:44:10,875 --> 00:44:13,000 I’m gonna lick it, that’s gonna happen, 1038 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,792 but if you pay me, then I won’t feel like 1039 00:44:14,792 --> 00:44:16,667 such a weirdo for doing it. 1040 00:44:18,166 --> 00:44:20,291 - Please don’t lick it. 1041 00:44:20,291 --> 00:44:22,000 - That’s the first time I’ve ever heard 1042 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,583 a guy say that. 1043 00:44:23,583 --> 00:44:26,250 - I really think you’ll probably get sick. 1044 00:44:27,875 --> 00:44:29,959 - I’m not gonna lick it. 1045 00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:33,834 - Good. Thank you. 1046 00:44:33,834 --> 00:44:36,208 - I am gonna touch it though. 1047 00:44:36,208 --> 00:44:38,542 - Don’t! 1048 00:44:44,667 --> 00:44:47,000 You should wash your hands. 1049 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,959 - Why? 1050 00:44:48,959 --> 00:44:50,417 - Cause maybe you’ll touch your eye 1051 00:44:50,417 --> 00:44:51,917 or something and get sick. 1052 00:44:51,917 --> 00:44:53,583 Or maybe it’s under your fingernail now 1053 00:44:53,583 --> 00:44:55,083 and it’s getting into you through 1054 00:44:55,083 --> 00:44:56,750 your nail bed or something. 1055 00:44:56,750 --> 00:44:59,542 - Oh my god, you are such a little worrier. 1056 00:44:59,542 --> 00:45:02,458 I’m glad I did it so I could learn that about you. 1057 00:45:03,250 --> 00:45:05,000 - Do whatever you want. 1058 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,291 - It’s just green stuff! 1059 00:45:07,291 --> 00:45:09,667 - I know. 1060 00:45:14,291 --> 00:45:17,208 Are you okay? 1061 00:45:17,208 --> 00:45:19,291 - Just kidding! 1062 00:45:19,291 --> 00:45:22,667 - Very funny. 1063 00:45:22,667 --> 00:45:25,959 - Let’s go somewhere else, this is boring. 1064 00:45:41,583 --> 00:45:44,583 Are you mad at me? 1065 00:45:47,458 --> 00:45:50,291 - No. 1066 00:45:50,291 --> 00:45:51,959 - Are you not interested in me 1067 00:45:51,959 --> 00:45:55,250 as a human being anymore? 1068 00:45:55,250 --> 00:45:58,542 - I’m interested in you as a human being. 1069 00:45:58,542 --> 00:45:59,667 - But not as like, 1070 00:45:59,667 --> 00:46:02,500 someone you might want to see again? 1071 00:46:04,834 --> 00:46:07,583 - I don’t know. 1072 00:46:07,583 --> 00:46:09,125 - That’s cool, that’s fine. 1073 00:46:09,125 --> 00:46:11,500 I guess I shouldn’t have touched that algae stuff, 1074 00:46:11,500 --> 00:46:13,708 I didn’t realize it’d be such a deal breaker 1075 00:46:13,708 --> 00:46:16,875 or a red flag or whatever. 1076 00:46:16,875 --> 00:46:19,000 - It’s not that. 1077 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,375 - I know, I get it. You’re just not 1078 00:46:21,375 --> 00:46:22,625 interested in me, 1079 00:46:22,625 --> 00:46:24,291 it doesn’t need an explanation, 1080 00:46:24,291 --> 00:46:28,041 it just is what it is. 1081 00:46:28,041 --> 00:46:30,542 - I am interested in you. 1082 00:46:30,542 --> 00:46:32,375 - But not enough to ever see me again 1083 00:46:32,375 --> 00:46:35,834 for the rest of our lives. Got it. 1084 00:46:35,834 --> 00:46:37,458 - I didn’t say that. 1085 00:46:37,458 --> 00:46:39,834 I just said I don’t know. 1086 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,000 - Alright, I’m gonna sound like a 1087 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,333 weird clingy person for saying this, 1088 00:46:47,333 --> 00:46:48,834 which I’m not, but... 1089 00:46:48,834 --> 00:46:50,166 I feel like you and I 1090 00:46:50,166 --> 00:46:52,875 are gonna like, kinda always know each other. 1091 00:46:52,875 --> 00:46:55,208 Even if we never date or are never close friends 1092 00:46:55,208 --> 00:46:58,041 or anything, like... we’re always gonna remember 1093 00:46:58,041 --> 00:47:01,208 this day. And we shared this day together, 1094 00:47:01,208 --> 00:47:03,166 so, we’re always gonna know each other, 1095 00:47:03,166 --> 00:47:06,834 cause who else experienced this weird day but us? 1096 00:47:06,834 --> 00:47:08,291 Nobody will ever understand it 1097 00:47:08,291 --> 00:47:10,208 that we tell about it, except each other. 1098 00:47:11,375 --> 00:47:13,458 - Any attempt after the beta test to discuss 1099 00:47:13,458 --> 00:47:15,667 any portion of the beta test with anyone other 1100 00:47:15,667 --> 00:47:17,834 than Tellr representatives will result in 1101 00:47:17,834 --> 00:47:19,834 severe fines and possible jail time. 1102 00:47:22,083 --> 00:47:25,333 - I get it. I won’t, he won’t. It’s fine. 1103 00:47:27,667 --> 00:47:31,208 Anyone. Do you know what I mean? 1104 00:47:31,208 --> 00:47:35,542 Like, we shared this. This crazy experience. 1105 00:47:35,542 --> 00:47:37,792 So, we’re kinda stuck knowing each other 1106 00:47:37,792 --> 00:47:40,291 for life. You know? 1107 00:47:40,291 --> 00:47:42,834 So, even if we never go on a second date 1108 00:47:42,834 --> 00:47:45,250 or a second hangout or whatever, 1109 00:47:45,250 --> 00:47:48,417 let’s stay in touch. Okay? 1110 00:47:48,417 --> 00:47:50,542 - Okay. 1111 00:47:50,542 --> 00:47:54,291 - Alright, cool. 1112 00:47:54,291 --> 00:47:56,583 - I’m really bad at this. 1113 00:47:56,583 --> 00:47:58,291 - What do you mean? 1114 00:47:58,291 --> 00:48:01,834 - I don’t know. Like, I’m trying to play it cool. 1115 00:48:01,834 --> 00:48:04,000 I don’t know why I’m doing this. 1116 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:05,792 - Doing what? 1117 00:48:05,792 --> 00:48:09,083 - Being aloof or whatever. I think you’re cool. 1118 00:48:09,083 --> 00:48:11,917 Like, I’m drawn to you, and like, I don’t know 1119 00:48:11,917 --> 00:48:14,166 what to say around you. I’ve been trying 1120 00:48:14,166 --> 00:48:16,792 not to like, show that too much. 1121 00:48:16,792 --> 00:48:18,625 I don’t know what I’m doing. 1122 00:48:18,625 --> 00:48:20,500 I don’t know how to be around you. 1123 00:48:20,500 --> 00:48:23,708 I just like, constantly don’t want to be a way 1124 00:48:23,708 --> 00:48:27,041 where you’re gonna not like me or something. 1125 00:48:27,041 --> 00:48:29,000 - You don’t have to worry about any of that, 1126 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,291 I’m drawn to you too. 1127 00:48:31,291 --> 00:48:32,708 - Really? 1128 00:48:32,708 --> 00:48:34,291 - Yeah, I don’t even know what it is, 1129 00:48:34,291 --> 00:48:35,542 I can’t explain it, like, 1130 00:48:35,542 --> 00:48:37,000 I just want to know you and keep 1131 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:40,166 knowing you and be around you. 1132 00:48:40,166 --> 00:48:42,458 - Me too. 1133 00:48:42,458 --> 00:48:44,125 - Really? 1134 00:48:44,125 --> 00:48:47,291 - Of course, yeah. 1135 00:48:47,291 --> 00:48:49,500 - That’s great, then. 1136 00:48:49,500 --> 00:48:51,333 - Yeah. 1137 00:48:51,333 --> 00:48:53,667 - You know, earlier, when I found out 1138 00:48:53,667 --> 00:48:57,041 we couldn’t touch and then I cried, like... 1139 00:48:57,041 --> 00:48:58,667 part of the crying I think was because 1140 00:48:58,667 --> 00:49:00,834 I had been thinking about how nice it would be 1141 00:49:00,834 --> 00:49:03,834 to like, at some point during all this, just... 1142 00:49:03,834 --> 00:49:05,500 kiss you out of nowhere, and then like, 1143 00:49:05,500 --> 00:49:06,667 maybe make out with you 1144 00:49:06,667 --> 00:49:08,667 against a tree or whatever. 1145 00:49:08,667 --> 00:49:09,834 - Really? 1146 00:49:09,834 --> 00:49:11,875 - Yeah, and like, when I realized that wouldn’t 1147 00:49:11,875 --> 00:49:14,125 be able to happen for such a like, bullshit, 1148 00:49:14,125 --> 00:49:17,333 dumb reason, it made me so sad. 1149 00:49:17,333 --> 00:49:19,500 - Wow. 1150 00:49:19,500 --> 00:49:21,208 - Is it weird that I wanted to kiss you 1151 00:49:21,208 --> 00:49:23,750 that early on in us knowing each other? 1152 00:49:23,750 --> 00:49:26,708 - I don’t know. I don’t think so. I mean, 1153 00:49:26,708 --> 00:49:29,500 it sounds good to me. 1154 00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:32,208 - Have you wanted to kiss me too? 1155 00:49:32,208 --> 00:49:34,875 - Yeah. I mean, you’re really pretty. 1156 00:49:34,875 --> 00:49:36,834 Whenever you’ve said something funny or 1157 00:49:36,834 --> 00:49:40,291 weird or witty, I’ve wanted to kiss you. 1158 00:49:40,291 --> 00:49:41,667 - Really? 1159 00:49:41,667 --> 00:49:43,208 - Yeah. 1160 00:49:43,208 --> 00:49:45,125 - You think I’m funny and witty? 1161 00:49:45,125 --> 00:49:46,708 - Yeah. 1162 00:49:46,708 --> 00:49:48,708 - But you, like, do that stuff. 1163 00:49:48,708 --> 00:49:50,458 You write and perform. 1164 00:49:50,458 --> 00:49:52,625 I woulda figured you like, only think other people 1165 00:49:52,625 --> 00:49:54,959 who do that stuff are funny and witty. 1166 00:49:54,959 --> 00:49:57,917 - No way. Most of them suck. 1167 00:49:57,917 --> 00:50:00,125 - I really like your comedy, by the way. 1168 00:50:00,125 --> 00:50:01,750 I’m really sorry I didn’t laugh, 1169 00:50:01,750 --> 00:50:02,917 I don’t know why I didn’t, 1170 00:50:02,917 --> 00:50:04,291 I thought you’d respect me more 1171 00:50:04,291 --> 00:50:06,834 if I didn’t or something. I don’t know. 1172 00:50:06,834 --> 00:50:09,750 - It kinda turned me on that you didn’t laugh. 1173 00:50:09,750 --> 00:50:11,583 - Really? 1174 00:50:11,583 --> 00:50:13,792 - Yeah, it was hot. It gave me like, 1175 00:50:13,792 --> 00:50:16,417 butterflies, but, in a good way. 1176 00:50:16,417 --> 00:50:18,250 - That’s cute. 1177 00:50:18,250 --> 00:50:20,500 - Yeah. 1178 00:50:20,500 --> 00:50:22,917 - Cute that’s. Cute that's. 1179 00:50:22,917 --> 00:50:23,875 - What? 1180 00:50:23,875 --> 00:50:26,625 - Cute that’s. Cute that’s. Cute that’s. 1181 00:50:26,625 --> 00:50:29,083 - What’s going on? 1182 00:50:29,083 --> 00:50:31,834 - Cute that’s. Cute that's. 1183 00:50:31,834 --> 00:50:33,500 Cute. Cute. Cute. 1184 00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:35,750 - Um, something’s going on with her thing, 1185 00:50:35,750 --> 00:50:38,250 what’s going on? 1186 00:50:38,250 --> 00:50:40,291 - We are sorry. An unknown pathogen is 1187 00:50:40,291 --> 00:50:42,291 interacting negatively with the nanocells 1188 00:50:42,291 --> 00:50:44,166 within Erica Peters. 1189 00:50:44,166 --> 00:50:46,291 We will attempt to fix the problem shortly. 1190 00:50:46,291 --> 00:50:50,083 Please remain calm and get her to a safe area. 1191 00:50:50,083 --> 00:50:51,959 - A safe area? 1192 00:50:51,959 --> 00:50:53,667 - Please get her off the bridge. 1193 00:50:53,667 --> 00:50:56,750 If she jumps off the bridge, we are not liable. 1194 00:50:56,750 --> 00:50:59,083 Sit with her under a tree on solid ground. 1195 00:50:59,083 --> 00:51:00,708 Keep her away from heights. 1196 00:51:00,708 --> 00:51:02,000 That is all for now. 1197 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,917 We will attempt to fix the problem shortly. 1198 00:51:04,917 --> 00:51:07,834 - Cute that's. Cute that's. Cute that's. 1199 00:51:07,834 --> 00:51:09,750 - I’m sure they’re working on it right now. 1200 00:51:09,750 --> 00:51:11,125 I’m sure it’ll be fixed soon. 1201 00:51:11,125 --> 00:51:14,959 - Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. 1202 00:51:14,959 --> 00:51:16,750 - You’re not in any pain or anything, right? 1203 00:51:16,750 --> 00:51:20,208 - Cute that's. Cute that's. 1204 00:51:20,208 --> 00:51:21,667 Cute that’s. 1205 00:51:21,667 --> 00:51:23,625 - It just feels weird? 1206 00:51:23,625 --> 00:51:27,041 - Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. 1207 00:51:27,041 --> 00:51:28,875 - That sucks. I’m sorry. 1208 00:51:28,875 --> 00:51:32,708 - Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute that's. Cute. 1209 00:51:32,708 --> 00:51:34,375 - What’s that? 1210 00:51:34,375 --> 00:51:36,166 - Cute that's. 1211 00:51:36,166 --> 00:51:38,125 - Oh shit. 1212 00:51:38,125 --> 00:51:40,750 Um, something’s going on with her nose, 1213 00:51:40,750 --> 00:51:44,208 white stuff is coming out. She needs help! 1214 00:51:44,208 --> 00:51:46,375 - We are sorry. An unknown pathogen 1215 00:51:46,375 --> 00:51:48,500 is interacting negatively with the nanocells 1216 00:51:48,500 --> 00:51:50,083 within Erica Peters. 1217 00:51:50,083 --> 00:51:52,417 We will attempt to fix the problem shortly. 1218 00:51:52,417 --> 00:51:54,041 Please remain calm. 1219 00:51:54,041 --> 00:51:55,500 - I think I have a tissue. 1220 00:51:55,500 --> 00:51:57,291 - Cute that's. Cute that's. 1221 00:51:57,291 --> 00:51:58,458 - Oh shit. 1222 00:51:58,458 --> 00:52:00,750 Ahh! Ugh! 1223 00:52:00,750 --> 00:52:02,708 Tissue. Tissue. 1224 00:52:02,708 --> 00:52:03,959 - Cute. 1225 00:52:03,959 --> 00:52:05,250 - Tissue. Tissue. 1226 00:52:05,250 --> 00:52:06,291 - Cute. Cute. 1227 00:52:06,291 --> 00:52:07,792 - Tissue. Tissue. 1228 00:52:07,792 --> 00:52:09,750 - Cute that's. 1229 00:52:09,750 --> 00:52:11,708 - Tissue. Tissue. 1230 00:52:11,708 --> 00:52:14,083 - Cute that's. Cute that's. 1231 00:52:14,083 --> 00:52:16,000 - Tissue. Tissue. 1232 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,000 - Cute. Cute. Cute. 1233 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,875 Tissue. Tissue. Tissue. 1234 00:57:06,291 --> 00:57:07,458 - Good news! 1235 00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:09,792 You are cured and are now fine. 1236 00:57:09,792 --> 00:57:11,834 You will regain consciousness in the office 1237 00:57:11,834 --> 00:57:14,708 of our CEO, Harriet Miller, where you will 1238 00:57:14,708 --> 00:57:17,125 discuss your Tellr experience with her. 1239 00:57:17,125 --> 00:57:18,875 We look forward to your feedback. 1240 00:57:42,875 --> 00:57:47,083 - We need to talk. 1241 00:57:50,041 --> 00:57:53,834 I will give 1242 00:57:53,834 --> 00:57:56,417 you a 1243 00:57:56,417 --> 00:57:59,458 Tellr pill 1244 00:58:01,083 --> 00:58:05,333 (only will last 1245 00:58:06,083 --> 00:58:10,000 as long as 1246 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,959 you are in 1247 00:58:12,959 --> 00:58:16,083 the building) 1248 00:58:18,417 --> 00:58:21,959 so that we 1249 00:58:22,959 --> 00:58:26,000 can talk. 1250 00:59:47,083 --> 00:59:49,250 Alright, let’s talk. 1251 00:59:49,250 --> 00:59:51,834 I cut these with nano-caffeine, 1252 00:59:51,834 --> 00:59:53,708 so you should be feeling a bit more 1253 00:59:53,708 --> 00:59:56,083 alert right about now. 1254 00:59:56,083 --> 00:59:57,792 - Your product sucks. 1255 00:59:58,625 --> 01:00:00,250 - You’ve made it very clear 1256 01:00:00,250 --> 01:00:01,875 that you feel that way. 1257 01:00:01,875 --> 01:00:03,959 - It’s fucking bullshit. 1258 01:00:03,959 --> 01:00:06,250 - How is it ‘bullshit’? 1259 01:00:06,250 --> 01:00:09,208 - Because it sucks dicks for a living. 1260 01:00:09,208 --> 01:00:12,250 - How does it suck dicks for a living? 1261 01:00:12,250 --> 01:00:14,959 Do you also feel that way? 1262 01:00:14,959 --> 01:00:17,500 - I mean, yeah, it’s pretty bad. 1263 01:00:17,500 --> 01:00:19,708 - Before we go any further, 1264 01:00:19,708 --> 01:00:21,792 are you both feeling fully better since 1265 01:00:21,792 --> 01:00:23,375 what happened with the algae? 1266 01:00:23,375 --> 01:00:26,083 - I knew it was algae! 1267 01:00:26,083 --> 01:00:28,125 - I feel alright. 1268 01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:30,500 - Yeah, I’m okay, I think. 1269 01:00:30,500 --> 01:00:32,417 - It’s hard to know what the nanocells 1270 01:00:32,417 --> 01:00:34,333 will try and fight. 1271 01:00:34,333 --> 01:00:36,917 We’re still working out the kinks with that. 1272 01:00:36,917 --> 01:00:38,500 - What about everything else? 1273 01:00:38,500 --> 01:00:40,208 All the other shit? 1274 01:00:40,208 --> 01:00:41,834 - What do you mean? 1275 01:00:41,834 --> 01:00:43,875 - All the other kinks that need working out, 1276 01:00:43,875 --> 01:00:45,750 like the fact that the whole 1277 01:00:45,750 --> 01:00:47,625 entire product sucks. 1278 01:00:47,625 --> 01:00:49,000 - Can you be specific with 1279 01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:50,959 what you think needs work? 1280 01:00:50,959 --> 01:00:52,959 - Literally everything besides, I guess, 1281 01:00:52,959 --> 01:00:54,792 the technology, which is impressive. 1282 01:00:54,792 --> 01:00:56,333 But everything else is horrible. 1283 01:00:56,333 --> 01:00:57,417 If you put this to market, 1284 01:00:57,417 --> 01:00:58,583 people are gonna hate this, 1285 01:00:58,583 --> 01:01:00,250 your whole company is gonna tank. 1286 01:01:00,250 --> 01:01:01,959 I don’t know how many millions of dollars 1287 01:01:01,959 --> 01:01:03,667 this company is worth, but all that money 1288 01:01:03,667 --> 01:01:06,917 is gonna be gone. You’re all gonna go broke. 1289 01:01:06,917 --> 01:01:08,542 - I’m flattered by your concern 1290 01:01:08,542 --> 01:01:10,375 for my financial well-being. 1291 01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:12,166 That’s very considerate of you. 1292 01:01:12,166 --> 01:01:13,417 - I mean, I don’t actually care 1293 01:01:13,417 --> 01:01:14,542 if you lose money or not, 1294 01:01:14,542 --> 01:01:16,375 I was just trying to get you to listen to me. 1295 01:01:16,375 --> 01:01:17,834 I figured you’d care about the idea 1296 01:01:17,834 --> 01:01:19,708 of you losing money, and then that way you'd 1297 01:01:19,708 --> 01:01:21,542 actually start listening to me about how bad 1298 01:01:21,542 --> 01:01:22,250 this thing is. 1299 01:01:22,250 --> 01:01:23,917 - I am listening to you. 1300 01:01:23,917 --> 01:01:26,583 I’m listening very intently to you. 1301 01:01:26,583 --> 01:01:29,625 That’s why I want you to be more specific. 1302 01:01:29,625 --> 01:01:33,208 Tell me something specific that you didn’t like. 1303 01:01:33,208 --> 01:01:35,250 - Okay, well, there’s like, a million things 1304 01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:37,208 I could say that I didn’t like, but like, 1305 01:01:37,208 --> 01:01:38,667 how about the hate speech thing. 1306 01:01:38,667 --> 01:01:40,708 It said he said hate speech, 1307 01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:43,542 that his joke was hate speech, but it wasn’t. 1308 01:01:43,542 --> 01:01:45,625 So, whatever the thing is that detects 1309 01:01:45,625 --> 01:01:48,041 that sort of thing is clearly broken. 1310 01:01:48,041 --> 01:01:50,792 - Is that important to you? 1311 01:01:50,792 --> 01:01:52,917 That that feature not be broken? 1312 01:01:52,917 --> 01:01:54,458 That it work well? 1313 01:01:54,458 --> 01:01:57,166 - Yeah, that’s what I just said. 1314 01:01:57,166 --> 01:01:59,458 - How much does this particular feature 1315 01:01:59,458 --> 01:02:02,583 being broken bother you? 1316 01:02:02,583 --> 01:02:04,291 - A lot. 1317 01:02:04,291 --> 01:02:06,208 - If we leave it the way it is, 1318 01:02:06,208 --> 01:02:07,875 when Tellr is released, 1319 01:02:07,875 --> 01:02:09,875 would you take to social media to express 1320 01:02:09,875 --> 01:02:13,291 your distaste for the broken feature? 1321 01:02:13,291 --> 01:02:15,708 - Yeah, definitely. 1322 01:02:15,708 --> 01:02:17,750 - And discuss your distaste 1323 01:02:17,750 --> 01:02:20,166 with friends privately? 1324 01:02:20,166 --> 01:02:22,000 - Yeah. 1325 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,834 - And read and circulate blog posts 1326 01:02:24,834 --> 01:02:26,750 and articles that share your same 1327 01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:29,458 views about the broken feature? 1328 01:02:29,458 --> 01:02:31,542 - Yeah, sure. 1329 01:02:33,625 --> 01:02:35,708 - That’s great to hear. 1330 01:02:35,708 --> 01:02:37,291 How about you, Noah? 1331 01:02:37,291 --> 01:02:39,250 Anything you didn’t like? 1332 01:02:39,250 --> 01:02:41,834 Specifically, anything that would irk you 1333 01:02:41,834 --> 01:02:43,917 enough to devote hours and hours 1334 01:02:43,917 --> 01:02:45,500 of your life to thinking about how much 1335 01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:47,208 you didn’t like it, and getting others 1336 01:02:47,208 --> 01:02:48,583 to do the same? 1337 01:02:48,583 --> 01:02:50,041 - I don’t understand. 1338 01:02:50,041 --> 01:02:51,750 You sound like you want this thing to be 1339 01:02:51,750 --> 01:02:54,208 broken as hell just so people talk about it. 1340 01:02:54,208 --> 01:02:57,041 - Are you familiar with the ancient Japanese 1341 01:02:57,041 --> 01:03:00,291 aesthetic of wabi-sabi? 1342 01:03:00,291 --> 01:03:02,125 - No. 1343 01:03:02,125 --> 01:03:03,959 - Perhaps you’ll look into it one day 1344 01:03:03,959 --> 01:03:06,083 and then begin to understand why we, 1345 01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:07,750 and countless other companies, 1346 01:03:07,750 --> 01:03:09,708 do what we do. 1347 01:03:09,708 --> 01:03:12,166 Moving on, though: can you tell me 1348 01:03:12,166 --> 01:03:14,542 how you two feel about each other? 1349 01:03:14,542 --> 01:03:15,667 - Why can’t you just tell me 1350 01:03:15,667 --> 01:03:18,250 what it means right now? 1351 01:03:18,250 --> 01:03:19,708 - Can you tell me how you 1352 01:03:19,708 --> 01:03:21,834 feel about Erica? 1353 01:03:21,834 --> 01:03:25,125 - Um, she’s cool. She’s really nice. 1354 01:03:25,125 --> 01:03:29,000 - Just ‘cool’? Just ‘nice’? 1355 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:31,041 You two were pretty gaga for each other, 1356 01:03:31,041 --> 01:03:33,917 I would say. Sparks flew. 1357 01:03:33,917 --> 01:03:36,583 Remember what happened on the bridge? 1358 01:03:36,583 --> 01:03:39,625 - I mean, yeah, I mean... 1359 01:03:39,625 --> 01:03:41,708 yeah, we hit it off. 1360 01:03:41,708 --> 01:03:45,083 I think we hit off. I like her. 1361 01:03:45,083 --> 01:03:47,875 - So, the blind date was a success then, 1362 01:03:47,875 --> 01:03:49,667 would you say? 1363 01:03:49,667 --> 01:03:53,291 - I mean, yeah. That part of it. The her part. 1364 01:03:54,291 --> 01:03:56,333 - Would you also say that the 1365 01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:59,041 blind date was a success? 1366 01:03:59,041 --> 01:04:00,625 - I mean, he’s great. 1367 01:04:00,625 --> 01:04:03,291 Your product is shit, but he’s great. 1368 01:04:03,291 --> 01:04:06,083 - So, do you both feel then that Tellr 1369 01:04:06,083 --> 01:04:08,375 is great for blind dates? 1370 01:04:08,375 --> 01:04:12,875 - What? No. Hell no. Tellr still sucks. 1371 01:04:12,875 --> 01:04:14,375 I’d never recommend anyone 1372 01:04:14,375 --> 01:04:16,500 use it ever. It’s terrible. 1373 01:04:16,500 --> 01:04:19,166 - But it brought you two together. 1374 01:04:19,166 --> 01:04:20,875 - Yeah, in that like, we were randomly 1375 01:04:20,875 --> 01:04:22,458 chosen for this beta test thing and 1376 01:04:22,458 --> 01:04:24,208 randomly got to meet or whatever. 1377 01:04:24,208 --> 01:04:27,417 Like, I’ll give it that, but that’s it. 1378 01:04:27,417 --> 01:04:29,959 - You don’t think that the negative experience 1379 01:04:29,959 --> 01:04:33,208 you had with Tellr helped in any way 1380 01:04:33,208 --> 01:04:34,333 to create the feelings you 1381 01:04:34,333 --> 01:04:36,792 have for one another? 1382 01:04:36,792 --> 01:04:39,583 - No. I mean, we probably bonded a little 1383 01:04:39,583 --> 01:04:41,500 in that we both hated Tellr, but that’s 1384 01:04:41,500 --> 01:04:44,750 not the same thing as like, liking each other. 1385 01:04:44,750 --> 01:04:47,375 - How is it not the same thing? 1386 01:04:47,375 --> 01:04:49,917 - Because that’s different. Like, us just 1387 01:04:49,917 --> 01:04:51,708 bonding and banding together against 1388 01:04:51,708 --> 01:04:54,375 this stupid thing? That has nothing to do 1389 01:04:54,375 --> 01:04:56,417 with like, us being attracted to each other 1390 01:04:56,417 --> 01:04:58,375 or caring for each other. 1391 01:04:58,375 --> 01:05:01,417 - How can you be so certain of that? 1392 01:05:01,417 --> 01:05:02,875 - Because I know my own brain, 1393 01:05:02,875 --> 01:05:06,625 I know my own heart. I know how I feel. 1394 01:05:06,625 --> 01:05:09,041 - What if I were to tell you that we have 1395 01:05:09,041 --> 01:05:12,291 a 100 percent success rate? 1396 01:05:12,291 --> 01:05:15,333 That every single blind date we’ve arranged has 1397 01:05:15,333 --> 01:05:17,834 resulted in sparks flying and attraction 1398 01:05:17,834 --> 01:05:20,333 and mutual interest? 1399 01:05:20,333 --> 01:05:22,208 - That’s great for you all, but that doesn’t 1400 01:05:22,208 --> 01:05:25,375 matter to me. I can’t be controlled like that. 1401 01:05:25,375 --> 01:05:27,625 I know how I feel, and I know that how 1402 01:05:27,625 --> 01:05:29,917 I feel is real, and I’m sure he knows 1403 01:05:29,917 --> 01:05:33,250 that how he feels is real. This is genuine. 1404 01:05:33,250 --> 01:05:35,125 I don’t know about all those other people 1405 01:05:35,125 --> 01:05:37,792 or whatever, but this is real. 1406 01:05:37,792 --> 01:05:40,333 - What if I were to tell you that at least one 1407 01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:42,917 person from every single blind date has 1408 01:05:42,917 --> 01:05:45,000 sat here where you’re sitting and said to 1409 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,375 me what you just said? 1410 01:05:47,375 --> 01:05:49,792 - I don’t care. Where’s your data? 1411 01:05:49,792 --> 01:05:51,708 You don’t even have any data to show me 1412 01:05:51,708 --> 01:05:53,208 to back up what you’re saying, 1413 01:05:53,208 --> 01:05:56,166 you’re just saying things. 1414 01:05:56,166 --> 01:05:59,417 - I’ve heard that too. Every time. 1415 01:05:59,417 --> 01:06:02,250 You know, it never ceases to amaze me 1416 01:06:02,250 --> 01:06:04,291 the disbelief people have that they can be 1417 01:06:04,291 --> 01:06:08,125 so malleable, and subsequently, so predictable. 1418 01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:10,125 - I really don’t care. You think you know me, 1419 01:06:10,125 --> 01:06:12,333 but you really don’t. 1420 01:06:12,333 --> 01:06:15,834 - Oh, I almost forgot, you will both be 1421 01:06:15,834 --> 01:06:17,667 reimbursed for the money you spent 1422 01:06:17,667 --> 01:06:19,583 for the ad-free version. 1423 01:06:19,583 --> 01:06:21,208 You can expect a check in the mail 1424 01:06:21,208 --> 01:06:23,125 within six to eight weeks. 1425 01:06:23,125 --> 01:06:25,708 - Why can’t you just cut us a check right now? 1426 01:06:25,708 --> 01:06:27,625 - Because I’d like to keep your dislike 1427 01:06:27,625 --> 01:06:30,291 of me and my company at a maximum. 1428 01:06:30,291 --> 01:06:32,708 That’s very important to me. 1429 01:06:32,708 --> 01:06:35,166 - You’re such a bitch. 1430 01:06:35,166 --> 01:06:38,083 - And you’re such a helpful person. 1431 01:06:38,083 --> 01:06:40,417 More so than you know. 1432 01:06:40,417 --> 01:06:43,208 - Are we done here? Can we go now? 1433 01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:45,792 - You can leave, if you’d like. 1434 01:06:45,792 --> 01:06:47,542 I’d like to talk to Noah 1435 01:06:47,542 --> 01:06:49,125 a little bit longer, though. 1436 01:06:49,125 --> 01:06:50,542 - You know, you could really be 1437 01:06:50,542 --> 01:06:52,250 helping people. You have such an 1438 01:06:52,250 --> 01:06:54,250 opportunity to truly help people with 1439 01:06:54,250 --> 01:06:56,458 this technology. Like, people with disabilities 1440 01:06:56,458 --> 01:06:58,792 and all that. And yet you’re wasting that 1441 01:06:58,792 --> 01:07:00,875 opportunity just so you can be horrible 1442 01:07:00,875 --> 01:07:02,834 and huge and worth a billion dollars like 1443 01:07:02,834 --> 01:07:05,083 all sorts of other huge shitty companies 1444 01:07:05,083 --> 01:07:07,583 that suck. It’s fucking sick. 1445 01:07:09,667 --> 01:07:12,917 - Why are the two mutually exclusive? 1446 01:07:12,917 --> 01:07:14,291 - What? 1447 01:07:14,291 --> 01:07:16,875 - Why is it that I can only either help 1448 01:07:16,875 --> 01:07:20,333 people or make Tellr a ‘billion dollar 1449 01:07:20,333 --> 01:07:22,834 huge shitty company’? 1450 01:07:22,834 --> 01:07:24,917 - Because, the time spent making it 1451 01:07:24,917 --> 01:07:26,625 a billion dollar huge shitty company 1452 01:07:26,625 --> 01:07:28,875 gets in the way. It’s a waste of focus 1453 01:07:28,875 --> 01:07:30,417 and time and energy that could be 1454 01:07:30,417 --> 01:07:32,583 better spent elsewhere. 1455 01:07:32,583 --> 01:07:34,834 - Let’s talk about ‘better spent’. 1456 01:07:34,834 --> 01:07:37,125 Do you have any idea how much Tellr 1457 01:07:37,125 --> 01:07:39,000 would be worth if we went the kind of 1458 01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,959 route you’d approve of? 1459 01:07:40,959 --> 01:07:43,166 Have you run the numbers? 1460 01:07:43,166 --> 01:07:45,000 Have you run them countless times, 1461 01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:47,375 and had countless people run the numbers? 1462 01:07:47,375 --> 01:07:49,542 - Of course I haven’t. 1463 01:07:49,542 --> 01:07:52,291 - A slice of pie from a pie a billion feet 1464 01:07:52,291 --> 01:07:54,542 in circumference is much larger than 1465 01:07:54,542 --> 01:07:56,708 an entire pie a couple million feet 1466 01:07:56,708 --> 01:07:59,583 in circumference. 1467 01:07:59,583 --> 01:08:01,291 - So? 1468 01:08:01,291 --> 01:08:03,708 - So, my way, 1469 01:08:03,708 --> 01:08:05,708 the way that you detest, 1470 01:08:05,708 --> 01:08:08,083 will enable me to help more people 1471 01:08:08,083 --> 01:08:10,583 than your way could ever dream of. 1472 01:08:10,583 --> 01:08:12,417 - I don’t care. 1473 01:08:12,417 --> 01:08:15,417 - I know you don’t. That’s why it’s good 1474 01:08:15,417 --> 01:08:17,583 that I’m in the position I’m in 1475 01:08:17,583 --> 01:08:20,542 and you’re not. Because I’m doing the 1476 01:08:20,542 --> 01:08:23,667 right thing, the smart thing, 1477 01:08:23,667 --> 01:08:27,417 whereas, you’d do the wrong and stupid one. 1478 01:08:30,875 --> 01:08:33,959 - I’ll wait for you outside. 1479 01:08:33,959 --> 01:08:35,500 - Outside where? 1480 01:08:35,500 --> 01:08:37,458 - The room. 1481 01:08:37,458 --> 01:08:39,083 - Once you leave this room, you will 1482 01:08:39,083 --> 01:08:40,375 have to leave the building. 1483 01:08:40,375 --> 01:08:43,083 - I’ll wait for you in front of the building then. 1484 01:08:43,083 --> 01:08:45,291 - There’s no loitering allowed in front 1485 01:08:45,291 --> 01:08:47,166 of the building. You’ll have to wait 1486 01:08:47,166 --> 01:08:49,041 somewhere across the street. 1487 01:08:49,041 --> 01:08:51,792 - I’ll wait there then. 1488 01:08:51,792 --> 01:08:53,375 I’ll see you later. 1489 01:08:53,375 --> 01:08:55,458 - Thank you for everything. 1490 01:08:55,458 --> 01:08:57,792 You were wonderfully predictable. 1491 01:08:57,792 --> 01:09:00,333 - Fuck you. 1492 01:09:15,417 --> 01:09:17,875 - Hello, Noah. 1493 01:09:17,875 --> 01:09:19,500 - Hi. 1494 01:09:19,500 --> 01:09:21,542 - I’m speaking to you alone to spare you 1495 01:09:21,542 --> 01:09:23,917 any embarrassment in front of Erica 1496 01:09:23,917 --> 01:09:27,083 for what I’m about to say to you. Although, 1497 01:09:27,083 --> 01:09:29,542 saying what I’m about to say to you would 1498 01:09:29,542 --> 01:09:32,000 probably endear you to her even more, 1499 01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,917 given that she detests me and is primed 1500 01:09:34,917 --> 01:09:36,917 to disagree with me vehemently on 1501 01:09:36,917 --> 01:09:38,917 pretty much anything. 1502 01:09:38,917 --> 01:09:42,166 But, you’re already pretty far with her, 1503 01:09:42,166 --> 01:09:44,125 and will probably get laid tonight 1504 01:09:44,125 --> 01:09:45,834 if you play your cards right, 1505 01:09:45,834 --> 01:09:48,959 so, the embarrassment, I think, would be 1506 01:09:48,959 --> 01:09:51,959 unnecessary. Do you understand? 1507 01:09:52,834 --> 01:09:55,333 - Uh, sure. 1508 01:09:55,333 --> 01:09:59,542 - Good. Can I ask you a question? 1509 01:09:59,542 --> 01:10:01,333 - Yeah. 1510 01:10:01,333 --> 01:10:05,083 - What does the word ‘beta’ mean to you? 1511 01:10:06,291 --> 01:10:08,542 - It means like, when you test something 1512 01:10:08,542 --> 01:10:11,542 before it’s done. 1513 01:10:11,542 --> 01:10:15,792 - Correct. But, colloquially: 1514 01:10:15,792 --> 01:10:18,917 what does it mean to you as just a casual, 1515 01:10:18,917 --> 01:10:22,708 colloquial term? A label? 1516 01:10:22,708 --> 01:10:26,000 - Well... I mean, it’s like... sometimes 1517 01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:28,625 people use it to describe like, a guy 1518 01:10:28,625 --> 01:10:31,917 who isn’t ‘alpha’ or whatever. 1519 01:10:31,917 --> 01:10:34,458 - Guy or girl, yes. 1520 01:10:34,458 --> 01:10:37,792 But what does that mean specifically? 1521 01:10:37,792 --> 01:10:41,834 Can you describe someone who is ‘beta’? 1522 01:10:41,834 --> 01:10:46,125 - Um... I guess someone who’s weak or something? 1523 01:10:46,125 --> 01:10:48,417 - Weak, yes. 1524 01:10:48,417 --> 01:10:51,083 Unassertive. Meek. 1525 01:10:51,083 --> 01:10:53,917 The list goes on. 1526 01:10:53,917 --> 01:10:56,875 Are you aware that you are 'beta'? 1527 01:10:56,875 --> 01:11:00,500 - Um... like, I guess I can be 1528 01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:02,959 sometimes, but, like, I wouldn’t define 1529 01:11:02,959 --> 01:11:05,333 myself as that. 1530 01:11:05,333 --> 01:11:07,500 - I’m going to be frank with you. 1531 01:11:07,500 --> 01:11:09,959 The beta tests we conduct 1532 01:11:09,959 --> 01:11:12,708 are literally beta tests. 1533 01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:15,250 We put people through a horrible time 1534 01:11:15,250 --> 01:11:17,834 with our product in order to see whether 1535 01:11:17,834 --> 01:11:20,041 they will behave in an alpha way 1536 01:11:20,041 --> 01:11:21,917 or a beta way. 1537 01:11:21,917 --> 01:11:25,333 Erica behave in an alpha way. 1538 01:11:25,333 --> 01:11:29,166 You behaved in a beta way. 1539 01:11:29,166 --> 01:11:31,333 Are you following? 1540 01:11:31,333 --> 01:11:34,750 - So wait, so like, this all isn’t real? 1541 01:11:34,750 --> 01:11:37,542 This is all just, like, a thing to see that? 1542 01:11:37,542 --> 01:11:40,208 - Oh, Tellr is very real. 1543 01:11:40,208 --> 01:11:42,792 Tellr is immensely real. 1544 01:11:42,792 --> 01:11:45,208 And by the end of this year, we will be the 1545 01:11:45,208 --> 01:11:48,250 first company in history to have a monopoly 1546 01:11:48,250 --> 01:11:51,250 on an entire sense: telepathy. 1547 01:11:51,250 --> 01:11:55,250 And the ramifications of that are beyond vast, 1548 01:11:55,250 --> 01:11:57,542 beyond what you could ever in a million 1549 01:11:57,542 --> 01:12:00,959 years conceive of. And so, we are 1550 01:12:00,959 --> 01:12:03,875 conducting countless tests before we roll 1551 01:12:03,875 --> 01:12:07,542 Tellr out. Tons of valuable data was collected 1552 01:12:07,542 --> 01:12:10,291 during your date with Erica. Not just whether 1553 01:12:10,291 --> 01:12:12,417 you were alpha or beta, 1554 01:12:12,417 --> 01:12:14,875 or she was alpha or beta. 1555 01:12:14,875 --> 01:12:19,166 But, I will say, the alpha or beta data 1556 01:12:19,166 --> 01:12:22,208 is of special importance. 1557 01:12:22,208 --> 01:12:25,625 Do you have any idea why? 1558 01:12:25,625 --> 01:12:26,917 - No. 1559 01:12:26,917 --> 01:12:29,625 - Because Tellr will assuredly bring about 1560 01:12:29,625 --> 01:12:34,125 a dystopia. And a dystopia needs alphas. 1561 01:12:34,125 --> 01:12:36,834 Alphas to bring the world back out from 1562 01:12:36,834 --> 01:12:40,125 the dystopia. One might say it’s a controlled 1563 01:12:40,125 --> 01:12:42,959 dystopia that we are causing, since we know 1564 01:12:42,959 --> 01:12:46,125 it will occur and are preparing for it. 1565 01:12:46,125 --> 01:12:49,208 And part of that preparation entails figuring 1566 01:12:49,208 --> 01:12:51,875 out exactly how many alphas there are 1567 01:12:51,875 --> 01:12:54,834 in the world, and how many betas. 1568 01:12:54,834 --> 01:12:56,875 The right number of alphas in the world can 1569 01:12:56,875 --> 01:12:59,708 get the world back out from any dystopia. 1570 01:12:59,708 --> 01:13:01,875 Stop me if I’m confusing you. 1571 01:13:01,875 --> 01:13:04,291 Are you getting this? 1572 01:13:04,291 --> 01:13:07,291 - I mean... I think so. 1573 01:13:07,291 --> 01:13:10,083 - It’s a lot to wrap your head around. 1574 01:13:10,083 --> 01:13:13,041 And even though it may seem like I’m telling 1575 01:13:13,041 --> 01:13:16,291 you a lot, I’m leaving out a ton that I can’t 1576 01:13:16,291 --> 01:13:19,625 really talk about. Just trust me that this 1577 01:13:19,625 --> 01:13:22,583 dystopia we are bringing about is necessary, 1578 01:13:22,583 --> 01:13:26,083 and a good thing for mankind in the long run. 1579 01:13:26,083 --> 01:13:29,792 Growing pains, so to speak. But, anyway, 1580 01:13:29,792 --> 01:13:32,291 all this brings me to a very important 1581 01:13:32,291 --> 01:13:35,333 question I have for you: do you want to be 1582 01:13:35,333 --> 01:13:38,333 an alpha or a beta? 1583 01:13:38,333 --> 01:13:42,583 - Um... I mean... alpha? 1584 01:13:50,041 --> 01:13:53,291 - These pills will make you alpha. 1585 01:13:53,291 --> 01:13:57,041 A single pill will eradicate any shred of ‘beta’ 1586 01:13:57,041 --> 01:14:00,083 within you. You will become as alpha as 1587 01:14:00,083 --> 01:14:02,708 you could ever possibly become. 1588 01:14:02,708 --> 01:14:04,250 No side effects. 1589 01:14:04,250 --> 01:14:06,417 Nothing to worry about. 1590 01:14:06,417 --> 01:14:09,583 Will you take it? 1591 01:14:09,583 --> 01:14:12,166 - What’s in it? 1592 01:14:12,166 --> 01:14:14,500 - I can’t tell you that. 1593 01:14:14,500 --> 01:14:17,250 All I can tell you is that 1594 01:14:17,250 --> 01:14:18,792 if you take it, 1595 01:14:18,792 --> 01:14:21,041 you will leave here an alpha, 1596 01:14:21,041 --> 01:14:23,125 and you will be a part of what will 1597 01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:25,708 bring the world out of the dystopia 1598 01:14:25,708 --> 01:14:28,041 that we are about to cause. 1599 01:14:28,041 --> 01:14:31,750 What do you say? 1600 01:14:31,750 --> 01:14:33,917 - Um. 1601 01:14:35,333 --> 01:14:37,291 - Okay. 1602 01:14:38,500 --> 01:14:40,834 - Come to me. 1603 01:15:04,625 --> 01:15:08,417 How do you feel? 1604 01:15:08,417 --> 01:15:11,875 - I don’t know. 1605 01:15:11,875 --> 01:15:15,250 - You don’t feel different at all? 1606 01:15:15,250 --> 01:15:18,125 - Not really. Maybe a little. I don’t know. 1607 01:15:20,417 --> 01:15:22,041 - You shouldn’t feel different. 1608 01:15:22,041 --> 01:15:25,500 It was a sugar pill. There was nothing in it. 1609 01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:27,834 Thank you for choosing to take it. By doing so 1610 01:15:27,834 --> 01:15:29,875 you have just confirmed our determination 1611 01:15:29,875 --> 01:15:31,875 of you as beta. 1612 01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:33,875 Only a beta would choose the pill. 1613 01:15:33,875 --> 01:15:36,125 We’re done here, you can go now. 1614 01:15:36,125 --> 01:15:38,208 - That was a trick? 1615 01:15:38,208 --> 01:15:40,834 - Scientists don’t ‘trick’, 1616 01:15:40,834 --> 01:15:42,417 we test. 1617 01:15:42,417 --> 01:15:44,083 That will be all, you can go now. 1618 01:15:44,083 --> 01:15:47,250 - Wait, is the dystopia stuff real? 1619 01:15:47,250 --> 01:15:50,417 - Absolutely. Most definitely. 1620 01:15:50,417 --> 01:15:53,542 And you will certainly perish during it. 1621 01:15:53,542 --> 01:15:55,458 Which is good, because it means your 1622 01:15:55,458 --> 01:15:57,834 beta genes will not be passed down to 1623 01:15:57,834 --> 01:15:59,792 any offspring. 1624 01:15:59,792 --> 01:16:02,959 By the way, please use a condom with Erica. 1625 01:16:02,959 --> 01:16:04,917 She has good, solid, 1626 01:16:04,917 --> 01:16:07,542 alpha genes, and they should mix 1627 01:16:07,542 --> 01:16:09,959 with the genes of another alpha. 1628 01:16:09,959 --> 01:16:11,708 - Fuck you. 1629 01:16:11,708 --> 01:16:14,166 - By all means, enjoy yourself with her. 1630 01:16:14,166 --> 01:16:16,333 And enjoy the rest of your life, 1631 01:16:16,333 --> 01:16:19,375 what little of it you have to look forward to. 1632 01:16:19,375 --> 01:16:22,458 Just, please, be the end of your gene line. 1633 01:16:22,458 --> 01:16:24,166 - Fuck you. 1634 01:16:24,166 --> 01:16:27,708 - Thank you for your time. We are done here. 1635 01:16:27,708 --> 01:16:30,291 If you do not leave this room within the next 1636 01:16:30,291 --> 01:16:34,000 five seconds, you will be violently escorted 1637 01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:35,959 out of the building by the security guards 1638 01:16:35,959 --> 01:16:36,750 down the hall. 1639 01:16:36,750 --> 01:16:38,417 - Fuck you. 1640 01:16:58,667 --> 01:16:59,500 - How’d it go? 1641 01:16:59,500 --> 01:17:00,959 - Fuck that fucking cunt. 1642 01:17:00,959 --> 01:17:02,959 - What the fuck was up with her? 1643 01:17:02,959 --> 01:17:04,417 - Let’s get the fuck outta here. 1644 01:17:04,417 --> 01:17:05,625 - Where do you wanna go? 1645 01:17:05,625 --> 01:17:07,583 - We’re going to my place.