0000 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:10,000 YoubetCash.net Agen Judi Online Aman & Terpercaya 000 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Bonus Cashback Bola 6% Bonus Rollingan 0,80% 00 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Welcome Bonus Rp 25.000 Extra Bonus Tambahan Withdraw Rp 2.000.000 0 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:25,000 CashBack Mix Parlay 100% Bonus Ajak teman 45,2% 1 00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:06,038 ¶ I'm in love with you ¶ 2 00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:13,345 ¶ Want you to love me too ¶ 3 00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:16,415 [480p & 720p Movies Download |Mkvking.com] 4 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:29,228 ¶ True love Can be hard to find ¶ 5 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,765 ¶ True love Can be hard to find ¶ 6 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,069 ¶ True love Can be hard to find ¶ 7 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:40,639 ¶ True love Can be hard to find ¶ 8 00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:44,710 -¶ I'm in love with you... ¶ -Hi! 9 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:45,644 Hi. 10 00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,194 -What's your name? -I thought I-- 11 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,262 -What? -No, you go. 12 00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,396 Sorry what was it you said? 13 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,265 Who are you out with? 14 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:08,500 My housemate. He's over there. 15 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,374 What's your name? 16 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,209 -Ryan. -No way. 17 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,611 I had a rabbit called Ryan. 18 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,681 Cool. How is he? 19 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:23,782 Oh, dead. 20 00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,452 -Good. -What? 21 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,353 -There can only be one of us. -[chuckles] 22 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,859 -What's your name? -Laura. 23 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:38,130 I always said if I had a daughter... 24 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,731 You'd call her Laura? 25 00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:42,568 Well no, 26 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,737 I'd probably call her "Yet another, in a long line 27 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,173 of women that I cannot have sex with." 28 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:52,678 Sorry that-- that was a joke. 29 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,881 I don't have a daughter, so, 30 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,850 even if I did, I'm not an incestuous pedophile. 31 00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:05,824 Oh, my God, can't believe this, she's left. 32 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,194 She always does this. 33 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,533 Do you want a drink? 34 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:21,573 Uh, I-- I, should, I should probably go after her. 35 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,611 Then again, she'll have gone to his house and... 36 00:02:25,613 --> 00:02:27,513 -So was that... -Yes. 37 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:31,316 Yeah. I'll have a shot of Tia Maria. 38 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:35,521 Great. Hi, can we please have a shot of Tia Maria 39 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,322 and a beer please. 40 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:39,491 Why don't you try Tia Maria with me? 41 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:45,164 Sure, and can I have two shots of Tia Maria, please. 42 00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,733 -I'm converting him. -[chuckles] 43 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:50,869 The church of Tia Maria, all hail. 44 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,273 -It's not that good. -Oh. 45 00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,507 [joyful music] 46 00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:02,915 [man] Women often rate a good sense of humor as more important 47 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,584 to them in a partner than physical attractiveness. 48 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:08,754 A sense of humor implies a man's ability to cope with 49 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:12,224 potentially stressful or even dangerous situations. 50 00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:16,195 [woman] Makeup is used primarily to artificially enlarge our features. 51 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,298 Big eyes and slips are indicators of youth. 52 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:23,669 The younger the woman the more fertile she's likely to be 53 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,371 and the more capable her body is of nurturing 54 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,273 and providing for her offspring. 55 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,909 [man] The DNA contained within saliva and exchanged 56 00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,978 through a kiss gives us invaluable 57 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,480 information regarding our genetic compatibility. 58 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:38,483 [woman] Natural blonde hair is the result of high estrogen levels. 59 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:42,321 Dying hair blonde imitates increased levels of fertility 60 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,489 and offers scientific reasoning 61 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,425 to the claim that men prefer blondes. 62 00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,994 [man] A woman's lips offer a subconscious representation 63 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:52,297 of female genitalia. When a woman is aroused 64 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:56,635 her genitals become deep red, wearing red glossy lipstick 65 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,671 is an unconscious attempt to mimic this process. 66 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,274 The human race depends upon sex. 67 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,777 We need to do everything we can to ensure we attract a mate, 68 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:09,014 not just any mate, but the best we can get... 69 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,483 -[crosstalk] -...to do this we need to enhance ourselves 70 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,252 and there are many ways we can do this. 71 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:16,255 [woman] Spray a finishing spritz across your face 72 00:04:16,257 --> 00:04:19,725 to set the look, and you're done! 73 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,393 What? 74 00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:23,262 That's it for this week, guys. 75 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:26,031 Remember to hit "like" if you like the video and subscribe... 76 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,634 -Fuck's sake. - ...to become part of the glam fans. 77 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,537 ¶ You say I will show you mine ¶ 78 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,274 ¶ If you will show me yours ¶ 79 00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,709 ¶ And one by one we're throwing ¶ 80 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:40,612 ¶ All our clothing On the floor ¶ 81 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,781 ¶ You say don't blow out the candles ¶ 82 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,716 ¶ Cause I want you to... ¶ 83 00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,885 Absolutely gorgeous. 84 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,322 Well, you said he was a smart dresser. 85 00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,691 Yeah, not a Victorian. 86 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:55,494 Second dates are what makes or breaks a relationship. 87 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,063 -Says who? -Says the fella on the YouTubes. 88 00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:01,533 Oh, don't go giving yourself away tonight though. All right? 89 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,736 Men like the chase, the less you give the more they want. 90 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,773 I don't want you making the same mistake I did with your father. 91 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:10,442 -[man]I can bloody hear you, Val. -Oh, fuck off. 92 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,778 You looked lovely in that jacket. 93 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:14,946 Just get out. 94 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,018 Why are you wearing my shirt? 95 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,620 Because I needed a shirt, Ryan. 96 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,989 No, I need the shirt. Laura's coming around. 97 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,490 Then you don't need a shirt, do you? 98 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,759 [singing] because you're gonna be naked. 99 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:31,496 -We're going for an Indian. -In the Indian naked. 100 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,366 -Just give me the shirt. -Right will you back a-way-- 101 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:36,435 Will you stop wearing that towel like a girl, please? 102 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,605 -I thought she was coming here. -She is, and we're going for an Indian. 103 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:44,476 She's not travelling all the way across town for an "onion bhaji", is she? 104 00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,978 She's come here for one thing and one thing only. 105 00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:49,981 [choking] 106 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,085 Yeah, I don't think that's why she's coming. 107 00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:55,420 -Cock. -I understood, 108 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,889 it's more than sex it's more than... 109 00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:01,059 -Why don't you have sex, Ryan? -I do have sex, I've done sex. 110 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:04,529 -Yeah with Tufts, brilliant. -Yeah, and Jess. Remember Jess from college? 111 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:14,940 -Is that it? Just two girls? That's all you've had sex with. -But I was in a relationship, 112 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:17,075 -a long-term relationship. -No wonder you're still in love with her. 113 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,577 -Who? -Tufts. 114 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,078 I don't still love her. 115 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,747 When was the last time you texted her? 116 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:25,751 -Uh, I don't-- Friday? -Oh, man. 117 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,487 I've not texted in a week, it's been a week, it's finished. 118 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:31,523 Yeah, two years ago when she was jumping on somebody else's dick. 119 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:35,427 -Move on man. -I have. I am. With Laura. 120 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:39,398 [groaning] 121 00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,470 Weeded the garden yet? 122 00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:48,673 -No, I'm not going to sleep with him tonight. -Do it! 123 00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,777 He might not even want to sleep with me, he might not even like me. 124 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:54,079 No, he was pissed the last time he saw me. 125 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,782 That being the only time he saw me. 126 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,984 -He might... -Do the bracelet test. 127 00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:02,554 -What's that? -If you ever want to know how someone feels about you, 128 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,722 you do the bracelet test. 129 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,191 If you genuinely like this girl, Ryan, 130 00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,692 and I mean, genuinely. 131 00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:11,630 Do her. Girls like the game of cat and mouse. 132 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:14,499 It's a test. They like to be pursued. 133 00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,736 Bring her here, rave in her cave, pass the test, 134 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,704 then you can have all the bloody pilau rice you want, 135 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,440 I'm going to Inferno's, ciao. 136 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:26,044 Take off your bracelet and discretely 137 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:29,681 push it into his personal space and see what he does with it. 138 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,617 If he pushes it away, he probably wants to push you away. 139 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,620 He's not interested. If he picks it up and plays with it, 140 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,955 he wants to get closer to you. 141 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:40,091 If he ignores it, you get the gist. 142 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:44,930 But if he puts it on, he wants to be inside you. 143 00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:53,772 Hello? 144 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,841 Wait, wait. 145 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,577 Are you going out with Adam? 146 00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,778 Who's Adam? 147 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,112 Our housemate. 148 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,148 You mean Abel. Is his name Adam? 149 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,817 I've been calling him Abel for ages. Anyway, no. 150 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,552 I forgot we even had a flat mate to be honest. 151 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:10,722 You can use my sexy silky bed sheets for one night. 152 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,525 I'm not going to use your sexy bed sheets-- 153 00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,927 -sexy silky bed sheets. -But you can do. 154 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,262 -Okay. -Okay? 155 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,734 Oh, you look awful. 156 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:26,104 Mum! I can't breathe in these sodding jeans. 157 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,507 So, fuck it. I'm not going! 158 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,709 Calm down! Of course you're going. 159 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,677 Now put this on, now keep it buttoned up. 160 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,979 -Have you brushed your teeth? -Yes. 161 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,847 -Have you got perfume on? -I don't want perfume. 162 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,683 I want him to smell my pheromones. Mum! 163 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,620 -What? It's ocean breeze. -It's room spray! 164 00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:43,655 It's better than that pheromones thing you put on. 165 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,791 Now, you listen to me. You make sure now you're safe tonight. 166 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,760 He could be a pedophile for all we know. 167 00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:52,063 -I'm twenty-eight. -And you're still my baby. 168 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,032 [soft music] 169 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,975 [GPS] Head northeast along Claringdale Road for two hundred meters 170 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,778 and take a left onto Chapel Lane. 171 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:11,149 ¶ She's got you high And you don't even know yet ¶ 172 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:14,986 ¶ She's got you high and you don't even know yet ¶ 173 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,721 ¶ The sun's in the sky, 174 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,657 ¶ It's warming Up your bare legs ¶ 175 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,860 ¶ And you can't deny You're looking for the sunset ¶ 176 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:25,597 ¶ She's got you high And you don't even know yet ¶ 177 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:29,234 ¶ She's got you high And you don't even know yet ¶ 178 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,938 ¶ It's the search for the time Before it leaves without you ¶ 179 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:37,042 ¶ Have you lost your mind, has She taken all of yours too? ¶ 180 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:41,313 ¶ She's got you high ¶ 181 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:48,620 ¶ She's got you high... ¶ 182 00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:53,191 [GPS] For 200 yards take your second left onto Sunningdale Drive. 183 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:57,862 ¶ She's got you high ¶ 184 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:02,334 ¶ Romance alive and hope She's going to tell you ¶ 185 00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:08,340 ¶ She's got you high ¶ 186 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:12,777 -[Laura] So, did I ask you what your name was? -Ryan! 187 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,080 No way! I had a rabbit called Ryan. 188 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,148 Yeah. 189 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,117 -He's dead now. -Ah! 190 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,653 He went behind the shed and the cat from next door 191 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,355 went behind there. I thought they were playing. 192 00:10:23,357 --> 00:10:25,223 So, I just left them, but turns out cats and rabbits 193 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,859 -don't get on in real life. -As opposed to? 194 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,794 -My mind. -What? 195 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:33,732 When I found him, he was paralyzed with fear, and dead. 196 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,768 So I buried him under a tree in the garden. 197 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,803 And may be rest in peace. 198 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,373 Well no, because I didn't dig a deep enough hole 199 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,941 and the foxes got to him. 200 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:47,145 Well, then he died as he lived. Badly. 201 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:52,117 -Oh. -Hey, if it makes you feel any better, 202 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:54,719 I had a fish once that died. 203 00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:58,156 -What was your fish called? -Called Wanda. 204 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,992 That's a shit name for a fish, mine was called Bubbles... 205 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,261 -and Chick-a-teter. -[gasps] 206 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:23,214 [tension music] 207 00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,820 [GPS] Your destination is on the right. 208 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:43,368 Just get the-- hi, sorry I'm late I was at Pilates. 209 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:47,338 Yes. Yeah that's good, telling him about Pilates. 210 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,874 [doorbell rings] 211 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,414 Oh, God. 212 00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:02,954 -Hi! -Hi. 213 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,791 -Sorry I'm late I... -Oh, don't be, 214 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:07,959 -you're not late. -...I came from Pilates. 215 00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:09,861 Sorry where? 216 00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:11,963 No. 217 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,768 -I... -Shit, come in, sorry. 218 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:22,040 -Oh. -Ooh. It's lovely. 219 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:25,243 -I'll give you a tour if you like. -Okay. 220 00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:27,078 Er... 221 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,381 Oh! [both chuckle] 222 00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:33,885 -It's Dan you live with, isn't it? -Yeah. 223 00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:36,121 -Yeah. -Yeah, but he's out clubbing. 224 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,455 [loudly] Clubbing! 225 00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,493 Okay. Um... 226 00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:46,831 This is a hallway. Through there is the kitchen. 227 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,340 This is indeed a kitchen. [chuckles] 228 00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,409 Through there is the living room. 229 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,345 Ooh. 230 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:04,916 -These are stairs or broken escalators. -Very lovely stair-- 231 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,484 Oh, or broken escalators. 232 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,319 [cracking wood] 233 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,528 Bathroom there, Dan's room there. 234 00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:20,131 That's a cupboard and this is the boudoir. 235 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,400 Ooh, nice. 236 00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:26,538 -Very tidy. -Ah, well not really, 237 00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,307 there's a few plates there from last night, 238 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,176 a cup over there. 239 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,411 Right. 240 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,917 What's this? Secret room? 241 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,819 It's a toilet, yeah. 242 00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:41,920 What an en suite? 243 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:46,090 -I've always wanted one of these. -Oh. 244 00:13:55,335 --> 00:14:00,104 Wow. So, you've got the biggest room then? 245 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,207 Yeah, the master bedroom. 246 00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:04,442 Because I am the master. 247 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,144 [both laugh] 248 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,950 -Do you want a drink or...? -Yes, please. 249 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,453 We have Cobra, um... 250 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:18,122 Port... 251 00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,926 Ribena... milk. 252 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,931 Um. I've never had port. 253 00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,000 Great, well port it is. 254 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,002 -I'll just get you some. -Okay. 255 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,916 Um... do you want a hand with those drinks? 256 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,661 Do you want a hand or anything? 257 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:02,600 No. No. I'm fine. 258 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:08,273 Right, well I just-- I'll wait in the living room then. 259 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,109 -Okay. -Okay. 260 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:24,022 -[upbeat music] -[phone ringing] 261 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,928 -Didn't take long did it? -Where's the Port? 262 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,964 -The what? -Didn't we have a bottle of Port, where is it? 263 00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:37,235 -Is she there yet or what? -Obviously, I'm not drinking fucking Port by myself, am I? 264 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:40,271 Fuck the port, if you want to get her there's five steps. 265 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,641 I'm going to tell you, but you can't tell nobody else I'm going to write a book. 266 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:48,379 -Where is the Port? -Compliment her, mirror her, ask her questions, 267 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:51,482 teasingly put her down and steer the conversation towards sex. 268 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,151 I know, but this isn't a book. 269 00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:57,221 Then you fuck her. Six steps, new book. Boosh! 270 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:59,991 I've found the Port. I've found the Port. 271 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,026 Right calm down! Calm down. 272 00:16:02,696 --> 00:16:05,196 Where were the glasses, do we have any glasses? 273 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,465 Yeah, well there's one in my room. 274 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,436 But I piss in that when I can't go to the toilet. Up to you. 275 00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,604 Right, I've got to go I'll call you later. 276 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,373 All right mate, bye-bye. 277 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,476 You're a proper dickhead, you know that? 278 00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:25,183 Ta da! 279 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:31,622 -Wow. -I'm sorry about the cup, all our glasses are in shops. 280 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,994 So how have you been? 281 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:39,998 Good, yeah. Ooh, is that Irn-Bru? 282 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:42,433 Port and Irn-Bru, yeah. 283 00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,303 All the celebs are drinking it. 284 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,071 It's Meryl Streep's favorite. 285 00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:49,440 And you only drink what, Streep drinks? 286 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:53,511 Yeah, just Cobra and Port and Irn-Bru. 287 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,781 Oh, that's classy. 288 00:16:56,783 --> 00:17:01,619 God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know there was someone else in here. 289 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,255 -Are you Dan? -No that's-- 290 00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:10,294 -not, not Dan, Dan's out. -Oh. 291 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,030 Yeah. 292 00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,532 -You all right, mate? -Yeah, 293 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,568 just got a little bit of the old, dead skin 294 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,238 forming on the sole of my foot there. So, 295 00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,341 going to hit that up later on once it's softened up, 296 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:27,111 but it does take time. A little bit egotistical, 297 00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:30,148 but so important to look good, isn't it? 298 00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:37,221 -Do you want to see the garden? -Sure. 299 00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:39,724 -See you. -Oh, lovely, yeah, all right. 300 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,359 [door closes] 301 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,262 [Laura] Garden's gorgeous. 302 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:48,266 It's a movement sensor, you've got to keep moving. 303 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,367 Right. 304 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,104 Who was that? 305 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,374 -I don't know. -What? 306 00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:59,610 As in he does live here, but I don't know his name 307 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,512 that's why I couldn't introduce you. 308 00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:04,148 [laughs] Just ask him. 309 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:07,285 I can't. He's been here like a month. 310 00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,654 I've been calling him Adam, or Alex. 311 00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:13,157 Dan calls him Abel. But he responds to all of them. 312 00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:16,828 [laughs] I honestly didn't know he was there. 313 00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:20,364 I know. It's like that all the time. He's got no presence at all. 314 00:18:20,366 --> 00:18:21,632 Oh! 315 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,437 -[Laura] Are you waving or what? -It should come on in a sec. 316 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,874 -There we are. Oh! Shit! -Ah! 317 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:33,578 How did you get out here without setting the light off? 318 00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:38,149 Didn't know that we had a light. Oh, motion sensor, is it? 319 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,751 -Yeah, it should be. -Right, that's it then. 320 00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:44,755 No. No, those things never pick me up for some reason. 321 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:50,595 Automatic doors, automatic dryers, automatic toilets, 322 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,431 can never go back to Japan. 323 00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,237 So, we going out then or what? 324 00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:03,241 Well, I was thinking we could stay in here for a bit. 325 00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,209 [scrubbing] 326 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:10,648 But I thought we said we were going for a meal or something. 327 00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:14,485 Well, yeah, 328 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,890 but then I thought we could watch a film or something. 329 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,195 You don't want to go for a drink at a bar? 330 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,266 Well, I have drinks here. 331 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,172 In fact, I was going to grab another beer. Just one sec. 332 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,508 [man] Sorry, old friends, left it too long. 333 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,553 I left these out earlier. 334 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,889 I'll put them away in case you trip. 335 00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:58,829 -You lift weights, do you? -Every day. 336 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,768 How many do you normally do? 337 00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:06,604 About one hundred a day. 338 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,241 Oh. Wow. 339 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,609 I'll show you, 340 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,377 -if you don't believe me. -No. 341 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:19,417 One. Two. 342 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:22,820 Three. Four. [panting] 343 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:28,593 All day. Four. Four. 344 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,263 -Five. -Oh. 345 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:34,265 Just like that really. 346 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:37,468 I could do more, but you know. 347 00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:54,552 What we going to watch then? 348 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,422 Oh, yeah, whatever you want. 349 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,025 I've got-- I've got all the Pixar films. 350 00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:02,727 All right. 351 00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:09,400 Okay. Scarface? X-Men, Godfather trilogy. 352 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,970 -Ooh. Oh. -Oh, or there's my laptop there. 353 00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,573 We could watch whatever you want. I've got Netflix. 354 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:17,775 Oh. 355 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:28,886 Oh, there's so much Pikachu that's cute. 356 00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,655 -[man] Fuck yeah. -[Pikachu] Pika. 357 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,423 -Shit! -Shit. 358 00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:33,824 No, no, no, no. 359 00:21:33,826 --> 00:21:36,427 -That's... - Pika, Pika. 360 00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:39,297 Dan. He took that, the laptop. 361 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:43,301 -Oh no, no, no, no, Dan. - You, filthy custard slag. 362 00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:47,838 I think he's just, he's looking on YouTube or like, 363 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,541 it would have come up on the side or something and he 364 00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:54,412 wondered why people were into it. I don't think he's into it, 365 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:56,647 probably thought it was a bit weird, so. 366 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:07,758 Pikachu's a slag then, eh? Who knew? 367 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,595 Yeah. Well, I don't. 368 00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,732 I've not seen that. 369 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,007 -Can I use your bathroom a minute? -Yeah, sure. 370 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:25,409 -You know where it is. -Yep. 371 00:22:29,415 --> 00:22:30,481 Oh. 372 00:22:41,928 --> 00:22:45,129 [upbeat music] 373 00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:47,832 [indistinct chatter] 374 00:22:53,606 --> 00:22:55,373 ¶ That thing I like ¶ 375 00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:58,509 ¶ That thing, that thing You do ¶ 376 00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:01,979 ¶ That thing I like Yeah, you got me going crazy ¶ 377 00:23:02,548 --> 00:23:05,583 ¶ That thing, that thing You do ¶ 378 00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,686 ¶ Yeah you got me going crazy ¶ 379 00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:12,423 ¶ Don't stop make it last Don't stop make it last ¶ 380 00:23:24,971 --> 00:23:27,805 So, I found A Fish Called Wanda . 381 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:34,478 No? Or Cruel Intentions which may be more to your taste? 382 00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:38,783 Than Pixar Pokémon porn? Doubt it. [laughs] 383 00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:42,153 I'm only joking, Cruel Intentions . 384 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,054 A fine choice. 385 00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:55,833 Right, sorted. 386 00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:02,606 Do you want a top up before it starts or? 387 00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:05,109 Er... No, I've still got plenty thanks. 388 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,011 [ Cruel Intentions begins] 389 00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:13,484 Sit up here if you like? Probably see it better. 390 00:24:14,754 --> 00:24:15,820 Yeah. 391 00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:20,758 Get on properly. 392 00:24:21,928 --> 00:24:22,993 Oh, right. 393 00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:28,999 -This is nice. -Yeah. 394 00:24:39,612 --> 00:24:44,048 [woman] Sebastian. Can you at least pretend to focus? 395 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:48,886 [Sebastian] What good would it do? I'm unfixable. 396 00:24:48,888 --> 00:24:53,190 - Nobody's unfixable. - Yes, I am, a text-book... 397 00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:55,860 Did you know that this was actually the film 398 00:24:55,862 --> 00:24:58,929 that Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon met before they got married? 399 00:24:58,931 --> 00:25:01,765 -No way. -Yeah. Yeah. 400 00:25:01,767 --> 00:25:03,033 Wow. 401 00:25:05,238 --> 00:25:09,573 -Isn't she that actress that got stabbed? Reese.. -Witherspoon. 402 00:25:09,575 --> 00:25:11,041 No with a knife. 403 00:25:11,043 --> 00:25:12,977 [laughs] 404 00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:16,046 Sorry. 405 00:25:20,086 --> 00:25:21,952 [soft music] 406 00:25:24,056 --> 00:25:27,091 [woman] ...the right conditions anything is possible. 407 00:25:28,261 --> 00:25:30,761 [Sebastian] It took you 12 chapters to say that. 408 00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,666 - You're right. - I know I am. 409 00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:42,039 [Sebastian] I've come to a point in my life when all I can think about is sex. 410 00:25:42,041 --> 00:25:44,542 Take coming here for example, 411 00:25:45,144 --> 00:25:48,812 you're a beautiful woman, perfect curves, 412 00:25:48,814 --> 00:25:51,916 stunning breasts, knock out legs. 413 00:25:57,723 --> 00:26:00,124 [woman] But you have to look beyond that. 414 00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:02,860 [Sebastian] I know but it's hard. 415 00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:08,332 [woman] Well, it's fortunate we've come to the end of our session then. 416 00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:12,336 -[Sebastian] It's really been an hour? - Hour fifteen. 417 00:26:12,338 --> 00:26:17,875 [Sebastian] It seems you like to keep me here as much as I wanted to stay. 418 00:26:18,578 --> 00:26:20,244 [woman] Read the book. 419 00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:22,313 I think you're going to get over this... 420 00:26:22,315 --> 00:26:24,148 -Is that for me? -No. 421 00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:30,321 -Oh. Do you want it back? -No, you can borrow it if you want. 422 00:26:30,323 --> 00:26:32,222 To do with what you want. 423 00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:35,659 Am I supposed to do something with it? 424 00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:39,196 No. 425 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,267 [soft music continues] 426 00:26:48,641 --> 00:26:51,842 -[Sebastian] You have a daughter? -[woman] That's her, 427 00:26:51,844 --> 00:26:54,345 a straight A student, best girl on the cheer squad. 428 00:26:54,347 --> 00:26:56,981 [Sebastian] That's the sort of girl that could cure me. 429 00:26:56,983 --> 00:27:00,217 [woman] She's a little out of your league, Sebastian. 430 00:27:00,219 --> 00:27:03,220 I'm sure the right girl will come along. 431 00:27:03,222 --> 00:27:05,389 [Sebastian] What if she already has? 432 00:27:05,391 --> 00:27:08,892 [woman] Then I wish you the best of luck. 433 00:27:08,894 --> 00:27:10,628 Let me know how it goes. 434 00:27:21,941 --> 00:27:25,376 What is it? Put her through. 435 00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:29,380 -[young woman] Mom! -[woman] You know not to call when I'm working. 436 00:27:29,382 --> 00:27:32,182 [young woman crying] 437 00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:35,219 He told me I was beautiful [crying] 438 00:27:36,255 --> 00:27:38,188 I'm such an idiot. 439 00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,257 [woman] You're not, you're just not smart 440 00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:42,760 when it comes to having sex. What have you done now? 441 00:27:43,863 --> 00:27:47,031 [young woman] He's put videos of me all over the internet. 442 00:27:47,033 --> 00:27:49,933 - What videos? - What do you mean what videos? 443 00:27:50,403 --> 00:27:51,935 Sex tapes. 444 00:27:51,937 --> 00:27:55,739 [woman] You idiot, how could you let this happen? 445 00:27:55,741 --> 00:27:59,677 [young woman] I don't know. He said I had perfect curves 446 00:27:59,679 --> 00:28:03,147 and stunning breasts, he asked if he could film them 447 00:28:03,149 --> 00:28:07,051 and I said yes but I went too far, please help me, Mom. 448 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,688 [scream] 449 00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:12,022 Do you know what? I've-- 450 00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:14,324 I've already seen this film. 451 00:28:14,326 --> 00:28:17,227 Oh. Well, do you want to choose something else? 452 00:28:17,930 --> 00:28:23,200 No. Actually I'm-- I'm just not in a filmy sort of mood. 453 00:28:23,903 --> 00:28:24,968 I see. 454 00:28:26,238 --> 00:28:27,971 What mood are you in? 455 00:28:30,176 --> 00:28:32,142 I'm not-- I thought we were going out 456 00:28:33,746 --> 00:28:35,446 -for dinner, so. -Right, no. 457 00:28:35,448 --> 00:28:37,815 I-- I... 458 00:28:39,852 --> 00:28:42,386 actually I have agoraphobia. 459 00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:43,454 What? 460 00:28:44,790 --> 00:28:46,256 I'll get us a drink. 461 00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:50,127 Sorry. 462 00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:55,799 [woman] Sebastian. 463 00:28:58,204 --> 00:28:59,837 Oh, my God. 464 00:28:59,839 --> 00:29:01,305 -I need your cup. -Oh. 465 00:29:03,743 --> 00:29:05,275 -Come on. -[phone line ringing] 466 00:29:05,277 --> 00:29:09,813 Come on, Beth, pick up the phone. Come on! 467 00:29:09,815 --> 00:29:11,381 -[Beth] Hello! -Beth. 468 00:29:11,383 --> 00:29:13,851 -This is Beth's phone. Leave a message. - No. 469 00:29:16,055 --> 00:29:18,489 Who else is there? Yeah. 470 00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:20,824 [phone line rings] 471 00:29:21,293 --> 00:29:24,428 [phone ringing] 472 00:29:33,139 --> 00:29:35,873 -Los! -B, I need an emergency phone call now. 473 00:29:35,875 --> 00:29:38,976 Okay. It's an emergency, it's massive, 474 00:29:38,978 --> 00:29:41,979 there's people on fire and they're dead. 475 00:29:41,981 --> 00:29:44,481 No, that's not how you do an emergency call. 476 00:29:44,483 --> 00:29:46,283 I found a body just one body. 477 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,185 -No! -What's happening? 478 00:29:48,187 --> 00:29:50,921 -He wants to have sex with me. - And? 479 00:29:50,923 --> 00:29:52,856 He wanks off to Pikachu. 480 00:29:52,858 --> 00:29:54,458 Pikachu's quite pretty. 481 00:29:54,460 --> 00:29:57,895 It's a drawing of a cat, thing. 482 00:29:58,531 --> 00:30:00,497 He says he's agoraphobic, that's a lie, 483 00:30:00,499 --> 00:30:02,833 or is it? I don't know. 484 00:30:02,835 --> 00:30:05,969 -Stop being so scared. - I am scared. 485 00:30:05,971 --> 00:30:08,205 I can't have sex with him. It's too soon. 486 00:30:08,207 --> 00:30:10,240 If I do it, I haven't shown enough resistance. 487 00:30:10,242 --> 00:30:12,142 And I've not shaved. 488 00:30:12,511 --> 00:30:16,213 [phone line rings] 489 00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:17,447 [upbeat music] 490 00:30:17,449 --> 00:30:19,416 [phone ringing] 491 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,220 -Yo yo yo! 492 00:30:23,222 --> 00:30:25,956 -[Ryan] I'm losing her. -What are you doing? 493 00:30:25,958 --> 00:30:29,159 Right now, I am talking to you while there is a girl 494 00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:31,962 who thinks I have intermittent agoraphobia held hostage 495 00:30:31,964 --> 00:30:37,367 in my room. That's what I am doing. I am off-piste. 496 00:30:37,369 --> 00:30:39,937 [Beth] Okay, now dip your tits into the cold water, 497 00:30:39,939 --> 00:30:42,005 helps plump them up makes them look bigger, 498 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:44,374 but you need to continue doing this throughout the evening 499 00:30:44,376 --> 00:30:46,243 because they will shrink in the heat. 500 00:30:46,245 --> 00:30:48,579 This isn't 50 shades of fucking Gray, Bink. 501 00:30:48,581 --> 00:30:51,448 No, it's more like one shade of shit. 502 00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:54,218 You've been talking about this guy all week. 503 00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:58,255 Give him a chance. If he's fucking up, take control. 504 00:30:58,257 --> 00:31:01,425 If you're feeling nervous, think to yourself, 505 00:31:01,427 --> 00:31:05,028 "What would Shakira do?" And then just do that. 506 00:31:07,166 --> 00:31:08,098 Put them in. 507 00:31:09,068 --> 00:31:10,167 Fuck it. 508 00:31:12,471 --> 00:31:15,172 Ah. Fuck it's freezing. 509 00:31:15,608 --> 00:31:18,275 -[Dan] Have you complimented her? -Yes. 510 00:31:18,277 --> 00:31:20,277 Probably, I don't know. 511 00:31:20,279 --> 00:31:22,512 - Have you spoken about sex yet? - No. 512 00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:24,248 I can lead a horse to water, Ryan. 513 00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:26,884 Okay. So, we compliment her, 514 00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:29,186 -and the sex talk. - Be dominant, man. 515 00:31:29,188 --> 00:31:30,621 Tell her to get in the bed, 516 00:31:30,623 --> 00:31:32,956 The bedroom rules, they love rules. 517 00:31:32,958 --> 00:31:35,893 -That's dogs. - This one works for both. 518 00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:38,328 Right before you fuck, look her in the eye and say, 519 00:31:38,330 --> 00:31:42,666 "You might not enjoy this, but by God, you'll remember it." Okay? 520 00:31:49,275 --> 00:31:50,641 [soft music] 521 00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:09,827 Fuck. 522 00:32:09,828 --> 00:32:10,494 [Ryan] Are you all right in there? 523 00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:12,129 Yeah, just give me a sec. 524 00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:26,576 You getting back in the bed or what? 525 00:32:28,213 --> 00:32:30,380 These are the bedroom rules. 526 00:32:32,051 --> 00:32:33,684 Do not break them. 527 00:32:33,686 --> 00:32:36,119 [woman in the movie] Do you want to have sex or not? 528 00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:39,089 [soft music] 529 00:32:50,970 --> 00:32:53,103 [woman] See, that wasn't so weird, was it? 530 00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:56,440 [woman 2] Wasn't weird at all. I liked it. 531 00:32:56,442 --> 00:32:59,009 [woman 1] Good. Now we're going to do it again, 532 00:32:59,011 --> 00:33:01,578 only this time you're going to feel my tongue in your mouth 533 00:33:01,580 --> 00:33:06,249 and when you do, you're going to massage it with yours. Are you ready? 534 00:33:06,251 --> 00:33:09,486 It's all sex, sex, sex these days isn't it? 535 00:33:12,157 --> 00:33:15,092 Sex, sex, sex. Sex. 536 00:33:15,094 --> 00:33:18,996 You know this film was actually made in 1999. 537 00:33:25,137 --> 00:33:26,603 And in those days as well. 538 00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,742 Some things just never change. 539 00:33:51,263 --> 00:33:52,362 [woman 1] How was that? 540 00:33:53,132 --> 00:33:54,564 Let's do it again. 541 00:33:54,566 --> 00:33:56,767 How about you try it again with your friend. 542 00:33:57,603 --> 00:34:00,037 [woman 2] My mother would kill me! 543 00:34:00,039 --> 00:34:02,572 [woman 1] Your mother doesn't need to know everything about your life. 544 00:34:02,574 --> 00:34:04,508 I'll take care of your mom... 545 00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:13,216 -You smell really good. -Thanks. 546 00:34:14,053 --> 00:34:15,352 What is it? 547 00:34:15,788 --> 00:34:17,054 Ocean Breeze. 548 00:34:18,590 --> 00:34:20,557 -Well, it's good. -Thank you. 549 00:34:27,433 --> 00:34:30,200 [Ryan] This is happening, don't get over excited, 550 00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:34,204 stay calm. I am not calm! 551 00:34:35,707 --> 00:34:37,574 [Laura] Shakira what would you do? 552 00:34:38,477 --> 00:34:42,312 [Ryan] Okay. Start with the face and work your way down. 553 00:34:42,314 --> 00:34:43,780 [Laura] Get that leg over. 554 00:34:45,117 --> 00:34:49,219 And then you'd do your chest jutting thing 555 00:34:51,557 --> 00:34:53,323 and roll around in the mud. 556 00:34:55,394 --> 00:34:56,526 [Ryan] What is happening? 557 00:34:57,296 --> 00:34:58,695 I should have had a wank. 558 00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:02,165 She is so confident. 559 00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:05,102 [Laura] Where am I going with this? 560 00:35:05,104 --> 00:35:07,170 [Ryan] How many guys has she had? 561 00:35:07,172 --> 00:35:08,872 [Laura] Oh, fuck what am I doing? 562 00:35:14,246 --> 00:35:16,446 Crawl back, crawl back. 563 00:35:18,383 --> 00:35:21,518 - Oh God, he's touching my boob. -Oh my, oh my God. 564 00:35:24,523 --> 00:35:25,372 [Laura] Take control. 565 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,222 [Ryan] You're going to have to be good at this. 566 00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:27,624 All your best moves. 567 00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:32,762 [Laura] Right. We'll start with his shirt, kiss for a bit 568 00:35:32,764 --> 00:35:34,898 then I'll take off mine and that is the new plan. 569 00:35:40,672 --> 00:35:44,441 [Ryan] Be dominant, you can't let her take off her own shirt. 570 00:35:44,443 --> 00:35:45,642 -Ah! -Ow. 571 00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,744 -[Ryan]Sorry. Sorry. -It's okay. 572 00:35:47,746 --> 00:35:49,746 -Shit, sorry -It's okay. 573 00:35:49,748 --> 00:35:51,548 -You all right? -Yeah. 574 00:35:52,384 --> 00:35:54,751 -It's a-- -It's okay. 575 00:35:54,753 --> 00:35:58,655 -It's a wrap around thing. -Right. 576 00:35:59,725 --> 00:36:01,224 [Laura] Fuck's sake. 577 00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:08,265 Ah, got it. 578 00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:11,601 Oh, it's fucking knotted. 579 00:36:13,772 --> 00:36:15,205 -Oh. -You all right? 580 00:36:15,207 --> 00:36:18,341 Yeah, right. Got it. 581 00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:23,380 Ah. The jeans. 582 00:36:26,251 --> 00:36:27,551 -Do you need a hand or? -No. 583 00:36:27,553 --> 00:36:29,953 [Laura] I forgot how tight they were. 584 00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:34,424 Shit... Take them off. 585 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,495 This is most awkward situation that has ever happened. 586 00:36:38,497 --> 00:36:40,764 Fuck these jeans. 587 00:36:42,267 --> 00:36:43,433 Ah. 588 00:36:47,272 --> 00:36:49,739 -Ah. -Ah. Here, lie down. 589 00:36:50,309 --> 00:36:52,242 [sighs] Okay. 590 00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:58,782 Oh, God. This is the worst thing ever. 591 00:36:58,784 --> 00:37:01,451 Ah! Thank you. 592 00:37:02,955 --> 00:37:07,490 [panting] 593 00:37:07,492 --> 00:37:09,426 [soft music] 594 00:37:16,602 --> 00:37:18,301 I'll just... 595 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,907 [Ryan] Yes. Oh, yes. 596 00:37:27,446 --> 00:37:29,879 [panting] Okay, relax. 597 00:37:33,318 --> 00:37:35,585 I cannot wait to tell Dan about this. 598 00:37:36,388 --> 00:37:38,488 Who's the daddy now, Dan? 599 00:37:39,891 --> 00:37:43,026 Got to tell him about that porno as well in case she asks him. 600 00:37:43,028 --> 00:37:45,862 Right, just stop thinking, stop thinking. 601 00:37:45,864 --> 00:37:47,030 This is a result. 602 00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:51,268 [Laura] Should I stop yet? 603 00:37:52,337 --> 00:37:54,304 [Ryan] Oh, I hope it's clean down there. 604 00:37:55,340 --> 00:37:58,742 What if it's too clean? Could she taste soap? 605 00:37:58,744 --> 00:38:00,043 [Laura] I can't breathe. 606 00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,479 [Ryan] Can she breathe down there? 607 00:38:03,515 --> 00:38:05,849 Give her some air, a little air hole. 608 00:38:09,488 --> 00:38:11,921 [Laura] I don't know how long I should do this for. 609 00:38:14,326 --> 00:38:15,659 Maybe a few more swirly ones. 610 00:38:17,396 --> 00:38:18,461 [panting] 611 00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:21,431 [Laura] They always work like a charm. 612 00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:33,076 Hey. Thank you. 613 00:38:33,879 --> 00:38:35,645 [Laura] Please, don't go down there. 614 00:38:35,647 --> 00:38:37,547 I think she wants me to go down there. 615 00:38:37,549 --> 00:38:39,449 - Don't go down there. - She's not kissing me, so, 616 00:38:39,451 --> 00:38:42,652 - yep that's what she wants. - Oh, no he's not going to-- no! 617 00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:45,388 - Oh, I hope I remember how to do this. - Oh, no. 618 00:38:46,358 --> 00:38:50,994 [Ryan] I can't see shit. Oh, God. Where is it? 619 00:38:52,397 --> 00:38:53,963 Oh, it's here. 620 00:38:54,900 --> 00:38:57,701 [Laura] Okay. Just relax. 621 00:39:00,806 --> 00:39:01,971 [moans] 622 00:39:05,344 --> 00:39:07,377 [Ryan] Who the fuck designed this? 623 00:39:08,447 --> 00:39:10,080 [Laura] What is he doing? 624 00:39:11,583 --> 00:39:13,516 Maybe stroke his hair. 625 00:39:13,885 --> 00:39:15,719 [soft music continues] 626 00:39:16,455 --> 00:39:20,457 [Ryan] A, B, C, 627 00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:25,695 D, E, F, 628 00:39:26,865 --> 00:39:30,367 G. G is a hard one. 629 00:39:31,703 --> 00:39:34,104 [Laura] Okay, get him back up. How do I end this? 630 00:39:34,106 --> 00:39:35,705 Wiggle him off? 631 00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:40,977 Oh, she's had enough probably because I fucked up the G. 632 00:39:44,716 --> 00:39:47,150 You look her dead in the eye and you say... 633 00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:49,085 Hiya. 634 00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:56,926 Right, here we go. 635 00:39:56,928 --> 00:40:00,697 Ryan. Got a condom? 636 00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:03,433 Condom yep, yep. 637 00:40:04,102 --> 00:40:05,435 Right. 638 00:40:30,061 --> 00:40:32,028 -Are you okay? -Yeah. 639 00:40:33,865 --> 00:40:36,566 Can never get these things the right way, round. 640 00:40:38,670 --> 00:40:39,803 Right. 641 00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:47,811 -Hey. -Ow. 642 00:40:50,115 --> 00:40:51,581 [Laura clears her throat] 643 00:40:57,889 --> 00:41:01,458 -Ah. -So sorry. 644 00:41:01,460 --> 00:41:05,094 -It's okay it's just, just a bit higher. -Yep. 645 00:41:05,730 --> 00:41:10,667 Don't go soft. Don't die on me. Fuck. 646 00:41:12,070 --> 00:41:15,872 - I could just thumb it in. - Don't thumb it in. 647 00:41:17,075 --> 00:41:18,775 -Sorry. -It's okay. 648 00:41:21,646 --> 00:41:24,047 [Ryan panting] 649 00:41:26,151 --> 00:41:29,619 -Give me a second. Sorry. -Do you want me to do anything? 650 00:41:29,621 --> 00:41:32,922 No, no. Sorry. 651 00:41:32,924 --> 00:41:34,591 Ah. 652 00:41:40,499 --> 00:41:41,898 Come on! 653 00:41:48,106 --> 00:41:50,039 Sorry. 654 00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:53,877 Sorry. [moaning] 655 00:41:53,879 --> 00:41:56,813 [phone ringing] 656 00:42:03,788 --> 00:42:04,888 Okay. 657 00:42:12,264 --> 00:42:14,030 [phone continues ringing] 658 00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:21,671 -Sorry about that. -It's okay. 659 00:42:24,643 --> 00:42:28,845 -I'm usually better. -As am I. 660 00:42:40,725 --> 00:42:43,192 -Just going to nip to the loo. -Okay. 661 00:42:45,997 --> 00:42:48,197 [phone ringing] 662 00:42:57,008 --> 00:42:58,174 [door closes] 663 00:43:00,178 --> 00:43:02,178 Oh. 664 00:43:04,716 --> 00:43:06,349 [slow music] 665 00:43:11,990 --> 00:43:13,289 Oh. 666 00:43:14,326 --> 00:43:16,726 Well, there we are. All done. 667 00:43:18,597 --> 00:43:20,630 It was-- it was nice seeing you again. 668 00:43:21,166 --> 00:43:22,298 Yeah and you. 669 00:43:23,335 --> 00:43:26,135 And thanks for, for everything. 670 00:43:26,137 --> 00:43:29,372 No, no worries. No probs. 671 00:43:30,375 --> 00:43:32,241 -Bye. -Hey. 672 00:43:33,378 --> 00:43:34,644 Oh. 673 00:43:42,654 --> 00:43:43,920 Bye. 674 00:43:48,059 --> 00:43:49,325 Just... 675 00:43:55,700 --> 00:43:56,766 Bye. 676 00:44:04,843 --> 00:44:09,078 [Ryan] I'm waiting out here. Are you alright? 677 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,881 -Wait. -Oh, they hurt so bad. 678 00:44:11,883 --> 00:44:14,317 -Why would you hurt yourself? -I don't know. 679 00:44:14,319 --> 00:44:16,753 -Here, let me take these. -Ah. 680 00:44:16,755 --> 00:44:19,088 -I'll give you a piggyback. Get on. -Yes. 681 00:44:19,090 --> 00:44:21,658 -Come on. Get on. -Yes, yes, yes. 682 00:44:21,660 --> 00:44:25,061 Get on. Jump, jump. Oh no, whoa, whoa. 683 00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:28,965 Oh, my God. Is this how you see the world? 684 00:44:28,967 --> 00:44:31,934 -Yep. -Everyone looks tiny. 685 00:44:34,172 --> 00:44:37,340 Wait, wait. Look how I see it. 686 00:44:38,877 --> 00:44:41,310 Wow! You're a borrower. 687 00:44:41,312 --> 00:44:44,781 -You're a borrower. -I think one of us is a freak. 688 00:44:44,783 --> 00:44:49,052 -Yeah, I think it's you. -Well, I think we should ask this guy. 689 00:44:49,054 --> 00:44:53,056 Hey, excuse me, which one of us would you say is a freak? 690 00:44:53,058 --> 00:44:54,323 Fuck off. 691 00:44:56,461 --> 00:45:00,296 -That was my dad. -[laughs] 692 00:45:03,768 --> 00:45:05,401 -Hey. -Have a chip. 693 00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:07,970 [slow music continues] 694 00:45:14,746 --> 00:45:15,812 Oh. 695 00:45:18,116 --> 00:45:21,050 -Laura. Laura. -What? 696 00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:22,885 It's that way. 697 00:45:44,142 --> 00:45:45,208 I'm sorry... 698 00:45:46,778 --> 00:45:49,278 about this, all of it. 699 00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:52,515 -About what? -The whole thing. 700 00:45:55,019 --> 00:45:58,354 I just-- I haven't-- um-- 701 00:46:00,358 --> 00:46:03,493 I suppose you're going to go, so it doesn't really matter. 702 00:46:04,329 --> 00:46:05,928 I, um, 703 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,868 I haven't ever really done this before. 704 00:46:13,204 --> 00:46:15,438 I don't mean that I have done that, 705 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,007 though it didn't look like it, but I have. 706 00:46:19,444 --> 00:46:20,510 Never well. 707 00:46:23,381 --> 00:46:26,449 I haven't been with anyone in a while and 708 00:46:26,451 --> 00:46:30,153 I fucked it. Again, not well. 709 00:46:30,822 --> 00:46:34,056 Sorry-- I'm-- I don't know what I'm trying to say, um. 710 00:46:35,226 --> 00:46:36,993 I'm sorry I didn't take you out. 711 00:46:39,230 --> 00:46:41,964 I should have. I panicked. 712 00:46:43,935 --> 00:46:46,035 I don't know-- I don't know how to do this. 713 00:46:46,037 --> 00:46:47,570 I don't either. 714 00:46:47,572 --> 00:46:49,338 Oh, no you do. You definitely do, 715 00:46:50,041 --> 00:46:51,908 the confidence and the dancing. 716 00:46:51,910 --> 00:46:54,577 Oh, God, no, that bit wasn't strong. 717 00:46:55,513 --> 00:46:56,579 I liked it. 718 00:46:59,918 --> 00:47:02,318 So, what you don't usually take girls to your bedroom 719 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,921 -on a second date? -[chuckles] 720 00:47:04,923 --> 00:47:07,023 I don't usually have second dates to be honest. 721 00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,527 I haven't met anyone that I like in a while, 722 00:47:12,897 --> 00:47:14,197 or that likes me. 723 00:47:15,567 --> 00:47:19,235 Is that because of an ex or you're just not that... 724 00:47:19,904 --> 00:47:21,137 into women? 725 00:47:23,274 --> 00:47:27,543 You don't have to tell me, I'm not like one of those girls that's like "Who is she? 726 00:47:27,545 --> 00:47:30,246 Do you still see her? Does she still love you? Do you still love her? 727 00:47:30,248 --> 00:47:32,548 do you? Do you?" [chuckles] 728 00:47:32,550 --> 00:47:34,116 Do you? 729 00:47:39,157 --> 00:47:43,292 -[Ryan] Oh. -Shit! Ryan! Why aren't you at your mums? 730 00:47:43,294 --> 00:47:46,062 Why are you having sex with James? 731 00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:48,497 I wanted to talk to you about this. 732 00:47:48,499 --> 00:47:52,101 -About what? -Me and James. 733 00:47:54,138 --> 00:47:58,040 -We're seeing each other, yeah. -Pull out a minute. 734 00:47:58,042 --> 00:48:05,181 [panting] Oh, Ryan. I'm so sorry. I just knew you'd be so upset. 735 00:48:05,183 --> 00:48:08,050 I was going to talk to you about it over a weekend or something, 736 00:48:08,052 --> 00:48:11,354 but well, at least you know now. 737 00:48:14,092 --> 00:48:16,459 Where are your pants? Put them on for a start. 738 00:48:16,461 --> 00:48:19,395 -I'm pretty hot in here. -Yeah. 739 00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:22,131 The central heating's faulty, you don't get the dial spot on 740 00:48:22,133 --> 00:48:24,400 the temperature goes up and up and up. 741 00:48:24,402 --> 00:48:27,937 -You could take a look at it? -Yeah, we can look at that. 742 00:48:30,275 --> 00:48:31,374 On my count. 743 00:48:33,311 --> 00:48:33,609 Release it now. 744 00:48:38,449 --> 00:48:40,616 -Perfect. -[Ryan crying] You didn't count. 745 00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:43,052 That'll do it. 746 00:48:47,292 --> 00:48:48,357 Thanks. 747 00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:53,195 Oh, my God. That's so shit. 748 00:48:53,197 --> 00:48:56,399 -Ah, the temperature's fine though. -Ah. 749 00:48:58,169 --> 00:49:01,637 -How long were you together? -Two and a half years. 750 00:49:01,639 --> 00:49:05,308 -Shit. -I mean, it's fine now, like I've-- you know, I-- 751 00:49:06,210 --> 00:49:09,312 we don't hang out or anything, but like I'm not mad. 752 00:49:14,352 --> 00:49:16,385 It's too cold to be standing out here. 753 00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,525 Do you want to come back? 754 00:49:25,697 --> 00:49:26,963 Yeah. 755 00:49:29,033 --> 00:49:30,700 -Amazing. -[chuckles] 756 00:49:33,638 --> 00:49:37,707 [Ryan] What about you then? You've got to tell me about you, if I'm telling you all this. 757 00:49:37,709 --> 00:49:41,010 Fine. Right, but you have to ask the questions, okay? 758 00:49:41,746 --> 00:49:47,583 So, me and my ex we finished five months ago. Go. 759 00:49:47,585 --> 00:49:51,120 -Okay. Was it serious? -Yes. 760 00:49:51,122 --> 00:49:53,522 -How long were you together? -Six years. 761 00:49:54,392 --> 00:49:56,258 -Six years? -Yes. 762 00:49:58,096 --> 00:50:02,732 -Um... Did you live together? -Yes. 763 00:50:02,734 --> 00:50:04,500 -Are you married? -No. 764 00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:06,202 -Were you married? -No. 765 00:50:06,204 --> 00:50:07,436 -Engaged? -Yes. 766 00:50:07,438 --> 00:50:09,705 -What happened? -You can't do that. 767 00:50:09,707 --> 00:50:12,041 -What I have to guess? -Yes. 768 00:50:13,378 --> 00:50:15,745 -Did one of you cheat? -No. 769 00:50:15,747 --> 00:50:21,117 -Did he-- oh God. He's not dead, is he? -No. 770 00:50:21,119 --> 00:50:23,019 Oh, God. I was going to say this game is awful. 771 00:50:23,021 --> 00:50:25,321 Fine, I'm just going to tell you, okay? 772 00:50:25,323 --> 00:50:31,127 So, it started about a year ago when he told me he was bisexual. 773 00:50:31,596 --> 00:50:35,231 -And you were fine with that? -Well, yeah pretty much. 774 00:50:35,233 --> 00:50:37,666 I was like "Do you still fancy me?" 775 00:50:37,668 --> 00:50:40,102 And he was like, "Yeah." 776 00:50:40,104 --> 00:50:41,504 And when I thought about it, 777 00:50:41,506 --> 00:50:43,706 I thought I kind of fancy Jennifer Aniston. 778 00:50:44,509 --> 00:50:47,576 -Sometimes I imagine what she must smell like. -Coconut. 779 00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:52,348 Yes. I've always said piña colada. 780 00:50:52,784 --> 00:50:56,819 -I think she uses a lot of scented body lotions. -Exactly. 781 00:50:58,056 --> 00:51:01,357 Okay, so anyway, I was in bed, 782 00:51:01,359 --> 00:51:03,492 it must have been like 3 A.M. or something, 783 00:51:03,494 --> 00:51:07,263 -I woke up and he wasn't there. -Shit. 784 00:51:07,832 --> 00:51:10,166 But I could hear noises coming from downstairs. 785 00:51:10,168 --> 00:51:13,235 So, I got up, I went down and there was in the living room 786 00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:16,605 -fiddling with the ornaments. -Is that like code for... 787 00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:20,176 No, no just actual ornaments. 788 00:51:20,178 --> 00:51:22,211 Like a little dish and a wooden cat thing. 789 00:51:22,213 --> 00:51:23,646 -That's weird. -I know. 790 00:51:23,648 --> 00:51:25,347 And I say to him 791 00:51:25,349 --> 00:51:29,118 -"Are you okay?" -And he's like, "No." 792 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,487 Obviously, he's fiddling with ornaments at like 3 A.M. 793 00:51:31,489 --> 00:51:35,124 And he says, "Okay, so you know a couple of months ago 794 00:51:35,126 --> 00:51:38,094 -I told you I was bisexual?" -Which you did. 795 00:51:38,096 --> 00:51:39,862 Which I did, yeah. So, I say, "Yeah." 796 00:51:39,864 --> 00:51:45,101 And he says, "Well I'm not. I'm gay. 797 00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:48,838 I'm sorry. I'm gay." 798 00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:50,639 And what did you say? 799 00:51:51,676 --> 00:51:54,210 Well, I told him that I thought it was a bold move 800 00:51:54,212 --> 00:51:56,378 for the marriage, but that it was okay 801 00:51:56,380 --> 00:52:00,116 because he still fancied me. And then he just stared at me 802 00:52:00,118 --> 00:52:04,420 and kept repeating, "I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. 803 00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:08,257 -I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay." -And... 804 00:52:08,259 --> 00:52:11,694 -"I'm gay". Yep. -Did you see that coming, or? 805 00:52:11,696 --> 00:52:15,831 Well, looking back now I can kind of see the signs but... 806 00:52:15,833 --> 00:52:17,600 Did his boyfriend give him away? 807 00:52:17,602 --> 00:52:19,268 No. I-- 808 00:52:20,538 --> 00:52:22,238 that was such a dad joke. 809 00:52:22,240 --> 00:52:24,440 -I'm sorry. -[chuckles] 810 00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:30,263 Ah. 811 00:52:30,264 --> 00:52:31,247 So, you just had to stop everything. 812 00:52:31,749 --> 00:52:33,682 -Yeah. -I guess you would have to. 813 00:52:33,684 --> 00:52:37,219 -We had a house and everything together so. -Oh. 814 00:52:37,221 --> 00:52:40,422 To start with I was like, "We can still live together. 815 00:52:40,424 --> 00:52:42,358 We can be mates and all that." 816 00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,560 But that really didn't work out. 817 00:52:44,562 --> 00:52:48,164 So, I'm back with my mom for now, 818 00:52:48,166 --> 00:52:50,232 and if all of that didn't happen, 819 00:52:50,234 --> 00:52:52,334 I'd be getting married next week. 820 00:52:54,539 --> 00:52:55,571 [door closes] 821 00:52:56,207 --> 00:52:57,907 So, is that your only ex then? 822 00:52:58,509 --> 00:53:00,643 No other women I have to fight off. 823 00:53:00,645 --> 00:53:04,413 -You're going to fight them? -Yeah, why not? 824 00:53:05,316 --> 00:53:07,850 That cheating one sounds like she deserves a punch in the face. 825 00:53:09,654 --> 00:53:13,756 Well, I'm kind of a big deal so um-- 826 00:53:20,464 --> 00:53:22,331 No there've not been many. 827 00:53:23,768 --> 00:53:26,602 And how many is not many? 828 00:53:28,539 --> 00:53:29,805 Ah. 829 00:53:32,443 --> 00:53:34,310 Are you just making up a number? 830 00:53:34,312 --> 00:53:35,711 What? No. 831 00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:39,215 -I'm just trying to remember. -You're going to lie. 832 00:53:39,217 --> 00:53:40,749 How many have you had then? 833 00:53:41,719 --> 00:53:44,920 -Uh... -See, now you're going to lie. 834 00:53:44,922 --> 00:53:46,689 [knocking on door] 835 00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:51,393 It's not going to be for me. 836 00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:53,796 No, it's going to be Dan, 837 00:53:53,798 --> 00:53:55,698 he probably is going to want to speak to you. 838 00:53:55,700 --> 00:54:00,369 -He's been drinking so don't believe anything he says. -[knocking continues] 839 00:54:01,439 --> 00:54:04,440 Just go get him, I won't judge you I promise. 840 00:54:05,376 --> 00:54:06,976 [whispering] I have already judged you. 841 00:54:11,515 --> 00:54:12,848 [Ryan] Ow. 842 00:54:13,951 --> 00:54:15,751 Where are you keys? 843 00:54:16,787 --> 00:54:19,688 -[suspenseful music] -You made me give you them back. 844 00:54:20,958 --> 00:54:23,659 Please don't shut the door just hear me out. 845 00:54:24,962 --> 00:54:28,297 -What are you doing here? -I came here to talk to you. 846 00:54:28,299 --> 00:54:30,332 I called you like nine times. 847 00:54:30,334 --> 00:54:32,001 You didn't pick up which I understand, 848 00:54:33,271 --> 00:54:34,737 but please can I come in? 849 00:54:35,740 --> 00:54:39,408 No. I'm on my way to bed. 850 00:54:39,410 --> 00:54:44,880 I'll be like ten minutes. Five minutes. Max. 851 00:54:44,882 --> 00:54:48,517 -Don't call me... -Don't call you Max, I know, I remember. 852 00:55:04,001 --> 00:55:06,835 -Where's Dan? -He's out. 853 00:55:11,008 --> 00:55:14,710 -Are you okay? -No, sorry. I'm-- 854 00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:19,648 drank some wine and-- all the wine. [chuckles] 855 00:55:22,887 --> 00:55:24,386 James and I broke up. 856 00:55:27,725 --> 00:55:29,658 Fucked up, massively. 857 00:55:30,361 --> 00:55:33,362 [tension music] 858 00:55:35,399 --> 00:55:36,598 I love you. 859 00:55:39,370 --> 00:55:40,869 I keep thinking about you, 860 00:55:41,539 --> 00:55:44,039 hoping that I'll bump into you and what I'm going to say. 861 00:55:45,476 --> 00:55:46,842 Does that sound pathetic? 862 00:55:47,812 --> 00:55:49,011 [door closes] 863 00:55:50,348 --> 00:55:53,482 -Is that, Dan? -Give me two seconds. 864 00:55:53,484 --> 00:55:54,983 I thought you said he was out. 865 00:55:58,823 --> 00:56:00,989 -I found baby Ryan. -No, 866 00:56:00,991 --> 00:56:03,392 no that's, it came with the frame. 867 00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:05,361 -It didn't. -Genuinely, 868 00:56:05,363 --> 00:56:06,929 I don't know that baby. 869 00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:11,633 Okay. You all right? 870 00:56:11,635 --> 00:56:15,771 Yeah, no I'm-- that's-- it's not Dan in there. 871 00:56:16,841 --> 00:56:18,774 It's my dad. 872 00:56:18,776 --> 00:56:21,510 And he's, he's in a pretty bad way. 873 00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:23,979 Should I leave? I should leave. 874 00:56:23,981 --> 00:56:26,115 No! You can't leave. 875 00:56:26,117 --> 00:56:29,051 He'll see you. Can you just wait here? 876 00:56:29,053 --> 00:56:31,987 -I'll get him to leave. -You don't have to do that, it's your dad I don't-- 877 00:56:31,989 --> 00:56:34,690 It's fine, it's fine, can you just stay here? 878 00:56:34,692 --> 00:56:37,092 -Give me two minutes. -Okay, yeah. 879 00:56:41,098 --> 00:56:42,398 Hello. 880 00:56:43,734 --> 00:56:47,136 -Hello. Listen. -[moans] 881 00:56:47,138 --> 00:56:50,906 I am really, really grateful for you coming over 882 00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:53,876 and saying this, but can I call you tomorrow 883 00:56:53,878 --> 00:56:55,444 when this sunk in? 884 00:56:56,714 --> 00:56:58,847 Aren't you even going to open your present Ryan? 885 00:56:58,849 --> 00:57:01,650 -Yeah, I'll open it tomorrow. -No, do it now. 886 00:57:01,652 --> 00:57:03,419 Can you please stop shouting? 887 00:57:04,889 --> 00:57:06,822 [tension music] 888 00:57:15,199 --> 00:57:16,632 Is that James? 889 00:57:16,634 --> 00:57:20,102 Well yeah, I didn't have a photo of us two together. 890 00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:24,506 Look, Ryan, you tell me what to do and I will do it. 891 00:57:24,508 --> 00:57:26,041 I won't fuck up this time. 892 00:57:26,043 --> 00:57:29,445 Why don't we watch the Godfather trilogy 893 00:57:30,648 --> 00:57:33,549 and how about I give you your real present? 894 00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:39,855 I promise I will call you tomorrow. 895 00:57:40,458 --> 00:57:41,990 Oh, God. 896 00:57:45,496 --> 00:57:47,796 [crying] Ryan. 897 00:57:50,868 --> 00:57:54,503 That's it. Be quiet, shh. Up you come. Come on, that's it. 898 00:57:54,505 --> 00:57:56,472 That's it. There we go. 899 00:57:59,777 --> 00:58:02,211 -At least let me get my bloody shoes. -Shh. 900 00:58:03,214 --> 00:58:05,013 [whispering] You stay here. 901 00:58:05,015 --> 00:58:06,248 Yeah, all right, Dad. 902 00:58:09,186 --> 00:58:10,953 Always forgetting them. [chuckles] 903 00:58:15,726 --> 00:58:17,226 There goes one. 904 00:58:20,731 --> 00:58:22,831 Can I use your toilet before I go? 905 00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:26,535 -No. It's broken. -What about your toilet? 906 00:58:26,537 --> 00:58:28,804 That's also broken. 907 00:58:28,806 --> 00:58:30,906 There's something wrong with the water level 908 00:58:30,908 --> 00:58:32,641 and the toilets won't fill. 909 00:58:32,643 --> 00:58:34,209 The toilets are broken, honestly. 910 00:58:34,211 --> 00:58:36,278 Right, well how do you go to the toilet? 911 00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,280 We use the sink, or McDonald's. 912 00:58:38,282 --> 00:58:39,915 It depends on the number. 913 00:58:57,268 --> 00:58:58,767 I miss you. 914 00:59:00,237 --> 00:59:03,005 -Oh. -Ryan, look at me, will you? 915 00:59:03,007 --> 00:59:06,275 I stayed with him because I hated myself for what I did to you. 916 00:59:06,277 --> 00:59:08,143 I will never forget that look. 917 00:59:09,079 --> 00:59:10,312 [loud noise] 918 00:59:10,314 --> 00:59:17,586 Have either of you two seen my assorted biscuit tin? 919 00:59:30,167 --> 00:59:32,868 -Hiya. -All right? 920 00:59:34,305 --> 00:59:36,138 [tension music] 921 00:59:44,949 --> 00:59:46,315 You can keep those. 922 00:59:49,987 --> 00:59:51,320 Beth? 923 00:59:51,322 --> 00:59:52,654 Laura? 924 00:59:54,224 --> 00:59:57,025 How-- how did you know I was here? 925 00:59:57,027 --> 00:59:58,193 I didn't. 926 00:59:59,229 --> 01:00:01,163 Why are you here? 927 01:00:01,966 --> 01:00:04,766 -Why is she here? -You know him? 928 01:00:04,768 --> 01:00:06,835 -Do you two know each other? -Yeah. 929 01:00:06,837 --> 01:00:09,671 I-- are you two in this together? 930 01:00:09,673 --> 01:00:11,073 Is that what this is? What is this? 931 01:00:11,075 --> 01:00:12,174 Oh, my God. 932 01:00:12,176 --> 01:00:17,980 You're Ryan, Ryan. He's-- he's pissy Ryan? Oh, my God. 933 01:00:17,982 --> 01:00:20,983 -Are you two on a date? -Whoa, why am I pissy Ryan? 934 01:00:22,219 --> 01:00:25,087 Why did you say pissy Ryan and she said yes? 935 01:00:25,689 --> 01:00:27,623 The time you had loads to drink and pissed the bed. 936 01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,691 -Are you two on a--? -What three years ago? 937 01:00:29,693 --> 01:00:32,995 That night? That happened one time, one time. 938 01:00:32,997 --> 01:00:35,197 -You pissed the bed loads. -One other time 939 01:00:35,199 --> 01:00:37,165 and otherwise it's been dry nights. 940 01:00:37,167 --> 01:00:39,134 Dry nights Ryan should be what you call me. 941 01:00:39,136 --> 01:00:43,405 -Are you two on a date? -No. 942 01:00:43,407 --> 01:00:46,108 No, no, so why are you here? 943 01:00:46,844 --> 01:00:49,845 -Don't you live in Wales now? -Yeah. 944 01:00:49,847 --> 01:00:52,381 -You came from Wales, here? -It was the Megabus. 945 01:00:52,383 --> 01:00:54,216 It's fine. It's cheap. It's fine. 946 01:00:55,252 --> 01:00:57,152 Is this your idea of getting back at me? 947 01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:59,354 -Is it? -No, I'm not. 948 01:00:59,356 --> 01:01:02,324 I don't know what this is? What is happening here? 949 01:01:02,326 --> 01:01:04,426 Beth is who I was out with on Friday. 950 01:01:04,428 --> 01:01:06,261 And is this your ex Beth? 951 01:01:06,263 --> 01:01:09,131 [crying] I don't believe this. 952 01:01:09,133 --> 01:01:13,769 Beth I-- I didn't know that that was pissy Ryan 953 01:01:13,771 --> 01:01:16,204 -or dry nights Ryan. -How do you two know each other? 954 01:01:16,206 --> 01:01:18,774 Beth, if I'd have known that I wouldn't have come here, 955 01:01:18,776 --> 01:01:22,411 -and you know that. -Fine, fine. 956 01:01:22,413 --> 01:01:24,246 You two stay, I'm going to leave. 957 01:01:24,248 --> 01:01:26,114 I'll let you get on with your little sex party. 958 01:01:26,116 --> 01:01:28,183 Oi, why did you say it was your dad? 959 01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:30,352 I didn't-- I don't know what I'm supposed to say. 960 01:01:30,354 --> 01:01:31,887 This is going well, isn't it? 961 01:01:32,723 --> 01:01:33,989 I'm going to go. 962 01:01:33,991 --> 01:01:36,058 -No. -No, no, no, stay. 963 01:01:36,060 --> 01:01:39,327 -It's what you want, isn't it? -Beth, stop it. 964 01:01:39,329 --> 01:01:42,030 No. We'll let him choose. 965 01:01:43,267 --> 01:01:44,833 Pick one. 966 01:01:50,741 --> 01:01:52,908 -I'm going to go. -No, you are going to stay 967 01:01:52,910 --> 01:01:55,377 because clearly you're the one he wants now, 968 01:01:55,379 --> 01:01:59,081 unlike last week when you were texting me asking was I all right, saying goodnight, 969 01:01:59,883 --> 01:02:02,718 like pretty much you have done for the past two years, 970 01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:05,921 telling me you love me, you miss me. 971 01:02:11,028 --> 01:02:13,361 -Here we go. -Oh, no don't-- 972 01:02:13,363 --> 01:02:15,497 Listened to "The man who can't be moved." 973 01:02:15,499 --> 01:02:19,301 "Made me think of you." Wait. Yeah, this is a really good one. 974 01:02:20,471 --> 01:02:25,040 "Miss you, still can't find a girl who compares to you." 975 01:02:25,042 --> 01:02:29,111 -[door closes] -¶ Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo ¶ 976 01:02:29,113 --> 01:02:31,279 -High five. -[girl laughs] 977 01:02:31,281 --> 01:02:34,382 You see Ryan this is Tali. Tali this is Ryan. 978 01:02:34,384 --> 01:02:39,221 Tali teaches Yoga, and yeah, Tali, Ryan. 979 01:02:39,223 --> 01:02:41,323 Yeah, is it shoes or no shoes? 980 01:02:42,526 --> 01:02:46,328 Hiya, Tufts. This is Tufts, Ryan's ex-girlfriend, 981 01:02:46,330 --> 01:02:48,363 who cheated on him in this living room in fact. 982 01:02:48,365 --> 01:02:50,899 That's why we don't have a sofa anymore, isn't it? 983 01:02:50,901 --> 01:02:53,468 -My name's Beth. -Yeah, but we call her Tufts 984 01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:56,071 because once happened she shaved herself 985 01:02:56,073 --> 01:02:59,274 and when the pubes grew back came as these like tufts, 986 01:02:59,276 --> 01:03:01,243 looked like individual popcorns. I'm sorry. 987 01:03:01,245 --> 01:03:03,979 I didn't see it, definitely not, 988 01:03:03,981 --> 01:03:06,882 but you told me it was rough as fuck, didn't you? 989 01:03:06,884 --> 01:03:09,217 This lady I have definitively never laid a gander on. 990 01:03:09,219 --> 01:03:12,420 I'm assuming, you're the girl Ryan's trying to have sex with. 991 01:03:13,090 --> 01:03:15,190 -[Tali] Hello. -[Dan] Tali everybody! 992 01:03:15,192 --> 01:03:17,492 -Woo! -Woo, woo, woo! 993 01:03:17,494 --> 01:03:20,295 Well, Laura, why don't you tell me 994 01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:23,098 how long has this really been going on for? 995 01:03:23,100 --> 01:03:27,302 Nothing's been going on. I only met him like last Friday. 996 01:03:27,304 --> 01:03:32,440 Friday! What? When you were out with me, to cheer me up? Thanks. 997 01:03:32,442 --> 01:03:34,910 -You left. -Yes, because I was upset. 998 01:03:34,912 --> 01:03:37,212 -What you two know each other? -Seems like it. 999 01:03:37,214 --> 01:03:41,917 So, you took me out, let me leave and then pull my ex. Great plan! 1000 01:03:41,919 --> 01:03:43,585 Why are you making out like I planned this? 1001 01:03:43,587 --> 01:03:46,254 I didn't even know he was your ex, 1002 01:03:46,256 --> 01:03:48,990 and do you know what maybe we could have realized this sooner 1003 01:03:48,992 --> 01:03:51,226 if you'd actually asked me about my date tonight, 1004 01:03:51,228 --> 01:03:53,094 or you'd called me like a mate. 1005 01:03:53,096 --> 01:03:55,297 Oh, yeah, yeah that's it. You mean like earlier, 1006 01:03:55,299 --> 01:03:57,866 when you texted me asking me for an emergency phone call 1007 01:03:57,868 --> 01:04:00,001 because quote "It is desperately needed." 1008 01:04:00,003 --> 01:04:01,503 and I'm not making this shit up. 1009 01:04:01,505 --> 01:04:03,972 -Look, Ryan. -Put your phone away. 1010 01:04:03,974 --> 01:04:08,410 Now, I don't know if now's a good time but has anybody lost a pair of these? 1011 01:04:08,412 --> 01:04:10,545 -Ouhg. -Is that one of yours? 1012 01:04:14,451 --> 01:04:17,886 That looks so much worse and oddly so much better than it actually is. 1013 01:04:17,888 --> 01:04:22,224 Look, I'm not going to argue with you, I barely know the guy. 1014 01:04:22,226 --> 01:04:24,926 So, you two have obviously got a lot to go through. 1015 01:04:24,928 --> 01:04:27,329 -I'm going to leave you to it, okay? -No honestly, Laura 1016 01:04:27,331 --> 01:04:30,432 -That-- it's not what you think. -Ryan! Ryan. 1017 01:04:30,434 --> 01:04:33,134 -Really it looks bad, but-- -I'm done here, okay? 1018 01:04:34,271 --> 01:04:37,205 I've wanted someone that wanted something else for years 1019 01:04:37,207 --> 01:04:39,241 and it, it doesn't work. 1020 01:04:43,614 --> 01:04:44,980 [sighs] 1021 01:04:50,354 --> 01:04:51,953 Oh, wet towels. 1022 01:04:51,955 --> 01:04:56,925 -[door closes] -[Tali] I've always been like, "A raisin is a raisin. 1023 01:04:56,927 --> 01:04:59,561 It's its own fruit, and then Dan was like, 1024 01:04:59,563 --> 01:05:02,497 "It's a shriveled up, grape." I was like, "What? Did you know this?" 1025 01:05:02,499 --> 01:05:04,232 -He told me. -Really? 1026 01:05:04,234 --> 01:05:05,967 -Yeah. -Tell us something else. 1027 01:05:13,143 --> 01:05:15,243 Women are fucking crazy. 1028 01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:18,346 Laura is, I'm not. Anymore. 1029 01:05:18,348 --> 01:05:19,648 You okay? 1030 01:05:21,184 --> 01:05:22,450 Yeah, yeah. 1031 01:05:25,222 --> 01:05:26,521 [upbeat music] 1032 01:05:26,523 --> 01:05:28,323 Okay. Goblin, 1033 01:05:28,325 --> 01:05:30,292 -where are you from? -[imitating a goblin's voice] Dublin. 1034 01:05:30,694 --> 01:05:33,361 How will you be leaving this club later? 1035 01:05:34,464 --> 01:05:38,967 -[imitating] Stumbling. -Okay, okay. 1036 01:05:38,969 --> 01:05:40,502 -Seriously now. -Yes. 1037 01:05:40,504 --> 01:05:43,305 How do you find the current situation in Syria? 1038 01:05:46,343 --> 01:05:48,176 -[imitating] Troubling. -Yes. 1039 01:05:49,713 --> 01:05:53,048 Um, what was it like receiving the Nobel Peace Prize? 1040 01:05:56,053 --> 01:05:59,487 -It was very... -[imitating] Humbling. 1041 01:06:00,390 --> 01:06:02,157 -Yeah. -Yeah. All right! 1042 01:06:04,494 --> 01:06:07,062 -Don't worry about it. -About what? 1043 01:06:07,064 --> 01:06:10,031 -About being on a date with my friend. -I'm not. 1044 01:06:11,001 --> 01:06:13,969 You've been seeing one of my friends for the last two years, so-- 1045 01:06:13,971 --> 01:06:15,704 Okay, we all know what's happened. 1046 01:06:16,406 --> 01:06:19,107 Why don't I open that champagne, yeah? 1047 01:06:20,043 --> 01:06:22,477 You'll even like champagne. It's made from grapes. 1048 01:06:22,479 --> 01:06:24,245 Oh, better not I'm pregnant. 1049 01:06:25,048 --> 01:06:26,982 You're-- what did you say? 1050 01:06:26,984 --> 01:06:30,418 [Beth] Ryan, where are the champagne flutes? 1051 01:06:32,089 --> 01:06:34,356 You know, where are they? 1052 01:06:34,358 --> 01:06:36,458 Baby, where are your glasses? 1053 01:06:36,460 --> 01:06:37,559 -I'll-- -Don't. 1054 01:06:37,561 --> 01:06:40,562 -[Beth] Why? -We don't have any glasses. 1055 01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:42,464 Please let me get her a glass. 1056 01:06:42,466 --> 01:06:44,299 -No. -All right. 1057 01:06:44,301 --> 01:06:46,634 I don't understand this. You've been 1058 01:06:46,636 --> 01:06:49,137 texting me, sending me flowers, pretty much begging me 1059 01:06:49,139 --> 01:06:53,308 -to get back with you and now-- -I sold my fucking couch! 1060 01:06:53,744 --> 01:06:57,078 And now you're back here like nothing happened 1061 01:06:57,080 --> 01:07:00,582 -and looking for glasses? -What's the deal with the glasses? 1062 01:07:00,584 --> 01:07:03,051 But all those texts and messages that I sent you, 1063 01:07:03,053 --> 01:07:05,120 you didn't reply to one, not a single one. 1064 01:07:06,023 --> 01:07:07,622 I know and I'm sorry, 1065 01:07:08,225 --> 01:07:10,125 but if we want to make this work 1066 01:07:11,395 --> 01:07:13,161 you have to move on. 1067 01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:19,467 -Baby... -Yeah, I have. 1068 01:07:20,103 --> 01:07:21,169 From you. 1069 01:07:22,506 --> 01:07:23,605 Baby. 1070 01:07:26,076 --> 01:07:27,409 You're going to have to leave now. 1071 01:07:28,278 --> 01:07:29,577 Get out. 1072 01:07:30,347 --> 01:07:31,646 Please get out. 1073 01:07:38,722 --> 01:07:40,455 You're not actually doing this, are you? 1074 01:07:40,457 --> 01:07:45,660 One date with my mate, a few reps and suddenly you're the big man. 1075 01:07:47,197 --> 01:07:48,530 I came here for you. 1076 01:07:49,299 --> 01:07:52,133 You came here for yourself because James left you. 1077 01:07:53,070 --> 01:07:55,336 -Laura's right. -Laura's an idiot. 1078 01:07:55,338 --> 01:07:59,140 She's an idiot who doesn't make me feel totally shit about myself all the time. 1079 01:07:59,142 --> 01:08:01,509 -Still an idiot though. -Come on. 1080 01:08:02,446 --> 01:08:04,345 Please, get out. 1081 01:08:08,752 --> 01:08:10,251 Please, leave. 1082 01:08:18,862 --> 01:08:21,262 [door opens] 1083 01:08:22,232 --> 01:08:23,798 I'll raise that child as my own. 1084 01:08:26,236 --> 01:08:27,669 I'm not really pregnant. 1085 01:08:32,109 --> 01:08:34,676 [GPS] Head southwest for thirty meters. 1086 01:08:34,678 --> 01:08:36,344 Which way is southwest? 1087 01:08:37,414 --> 01:08:40,448 You made your choice "pissy pants Ryan." 1088 01:08:40,450 --> 01:08:43,785 Hope you and "I would rather be married to a gay guy" are very happy. 1089 01:08:43,787 --> 01:08:45,553 You certainly fucking deserve each other! 1090 01:08:47,290 --> 01:08:49,190 Ah.[gasps] 1091 01:08:49,192 --> 01:08:50,892 Ah, oh! 1092 01:08:52,162 --> 01:08:55,430 -See, she did deserve a punch in the face. -Ryan! 1093 01:08:55,432 --> 01:08:58,800 -Laura! -Shut up. Ridiculous. 1094 01:08:59,469 --> 01:09:03,571 Right, where is southwest? That way? Where does the Megabus go from? 1095 01:09:03,573 --> 01:09:05,673 You can kiss goodbye to your job. 1096 01:09:05,675 --> 01:09:07,809 You haven't got the authority to sack me, Beth. 1097 01:09:07,811 --> 01:09:10,778 -No, but Marion does, when she-- -Marion hates you. 1098 01:09:11,381 --> 01:09:12,780 She fucking hates you. 1099 01:09:15,285 --> 01:09:17,719 [groans] 1100 01:09:17,721 --> 01:09:20,588 -Marion loves me. -[Laura] Slut! 1101 01:09:20,590 --> 01:09:24,459 -Which way is it? That way? -No, no, wait, Laura, Laura. 1102 01:09:24,461 --> 01:09:27,362 I'm so sorry for-- I didn't mean to lie to you. 1103 01:09:27,364 --> 01:09:29,898 She just turned up and I didn't know what I was supposed to do. 1104 01:09:29,900 --> 01:09:32,534 I know this has got to be like the worst date ever. 1105 01:09:32,536 --> 01:09:33,601 This isn't a date anymore. 1106 01:09:33,603 --> 01:09:34,903 -No? -Nope. 1107 01:09:34,905 --> 01:09:36,271 [slow music] 1108 01:09:37,440 --> 01:09:39,641 Shit do you want a jacket or something? 1109 01:09:39,643 --> 01:09:41,209 No. I'm fine. 1110 01:09:41,211 --> 01:09:43,444 Look, I don't know which way southwest is, 1111 01:09:43,446 --> 01:09:45,680 it's probably that way. But would you 1112 01:09:45,682 --> 01:09:49,284 please just come in, just for one minute. 1113 01:09:49,286 --> 01:09:50,752 I know I don't deserve it. 1114 01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:52,954 -Do you love her? -No. 1115 01:09:53,924 --> 01:09:57,559 No. Honestly, no. 1116 01:09:58,628 --> 01:10:02,430 Laura, Laura, I am so sorry. 1117 01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:05,667 I didn't mean for any of this. 1118 01:10:06,636 --> 01:10:11,773 I-- would you please just come in, please let me explain. 1119 01:10:12,475 --> 01:10:15,543 -Yeah, come inside, Laura. -Yeah, babe, come inside. 1120 01:10:15,545 --> 01:10:18,213 -Yeah, come inside you. -Stop talking, please! 1121 01:10:18,215 --> 01:10:19,581 [Dan] Fine. 1122 01:10:26,356 --> 01:10:27,522 Fine. 1123 01:10:27,524 --> 01:10:30,358 -[all] Yeah! Yeah! -She's coming in! 1124 01:10:31,761 --> 01:10:33,695 Oh, please, please, some room thank you. 1125 01:10:37,934 --> 01:10:41,302 Thank you. So much. 1126 01:10:42,405 --> 01:10:46,574 Do you want a drink? I've got champagne, genuinely. 1127 01:10:46,576 --> 01:10:50,378 It's still in a cup, but the caliber of drinks has skyrocketed in here. 1128 01:10:51,881 --> 01:10:53,281 Do you want one? 1129 01:10:54,818 --> 01:10:55,850 Sure. 1130 01:11:01,024 --> 01:11:06,527 -[champagne bottle opens] -Whoa, wow, wow. Oh. So erotic. 1131 01:11:06,529 --> 01:11:07,829 [both laugh] 1132 01:11:07,831 --> 01:11:10,698 -Whoa! Take it easy. -I'm so... 1133 01:11:10,700 --> 01:11:12,867 Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles. 1134 01:11:15,405 --> 01:11:18,039 -To Streep. -Always to Streep. 1135 01:11:21,511 --> 01:11:22,543 So, Goblin. 1136 01:11:23,913 --> 01:11:27,048 -How's the champagne? -[imitating voice] Bubbling. 1137 01:11:28,752 --> 01:11:31,819 -I thought you'd forgotten. -I didn't forget. 1138 01:11:31,821 --> 01:11:35,823 -Ah. -I am so glad you can't read maps. 1139 01:11:35,825 --> 01:11:37,825 I can, it's just that first bit. 1140 01:11:37,827 --> 01:11:39,794 I couldn't have had you going back to Wales thinking 1141 01:11:39,796 --> 01:11:41,796 I was an even worse Ryan than Ryan the Rabbit. 1142 01:11:42,599 --> 01:11:44,499 Oh my God. How do you know about my rabbit? 1143 01:11:45,468 --> 01:11:49,404 Because you kept talking about him, for hours, genuinely. 1144 01:11:50,473 --> 01:11:52,807 I don't know why? He was a shit rabbit. 1145 01:11:52,809 --> 01:11:54,676 Don't say that now. 1146 01:12:08,525 --> 01:12:12,060 -Oh. [yawning] -Oh. That good, am I? 1147 01:12:12,062 --> 01:12:14,629 -Sorry. -Are you tired? 1148 01:12:14,631 --> 01:12:17,098 -Yes, a bit. -Thought you were French kissing. 1149 01:12:18,101 --> 01:12:19,534 Is this a date then? 1150 01:12:20,337 --> 01:12:22,537 No, I don't think we should ever date. 1151 01:12:23,673 --> 01:12:25,673 That would be ideal. 1152 01:12:27,410 --> 01:12:33,881 That's sweet. This is actually some really nice stuff you guys. 1153 01:12:34,684 --> 01:12:36,818 -Shall we go upstairs? -Yeah. 1154 01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:40,922 -No, you don't have to do this. -I do. 1155 01:12:42,092 --> 01:12:46,060 Just let me get the champagne, in case we do really have... 1156 01:12:47,063 --> 01:12:49,997 All right. Come on. Mind your head, whoa. 1157 01:12:49,999 --> 01:12:51,699 [Laura] Ooh-hoo. 1158 01:12:52,435 --> 01:12:55,136 [Ryan] Ready, ready boys? Strong legs them private! 1159 01:12:55,138 --> 01:12:57,071 [Laura laughs] 1160 01:12:58,575 --> 01:13:02,510 [Dan] You might not enjoy this, but my God you'll remember it! 1161 01:13:02,512 --> 01:13:05,146 -[Tali] What is wrong with you? -[Dan] Just joking. 1162 01:13:05,148 --> 01:13:09,417 -[Tali] What is this? Piss? -[Dan] Yes. 1163 01:13:09,419 --> 01:13:13,988 -Oh, my God. You're disgusting. -Why? It's just piss. 1164 01:13:14,758 --> 01:13:17,091 -Oh, oh it stinks. -No, it doesn't. 1165 01:13:17,093 --> 01:13:18,993 It was in the morning. Stay here one minute. 1166 01:13:18,995 --> 01:13:21,562 -[Tali] No. -I love you. 1167 01:13:21,564 --> 01:13:22,997 [door closes] 1168 01:13:22,999 --> 01:13:25,600 Oh. I didn't see you there. 1169 01:13:25,602 --> 01:13:27,435 Oh, I shouldn't worry, it happens a lot. 1170 01:13:31,474 --> 01:13:32,607 I'm Tali. 1171 01:13:34,878 --> 01:13:37,145 Tali, I'm A... 1172 01:13:37,147 --> 01:13:39,013 Ah... Right. 1173 01:13:39,616 --> 01:13:43,951 So, we have banana, or that could just be yellow. 1174 01:13:43,953 --> 01:13:46,821 This apparently makes everything burn. 1175 01:13:46,823 --> 01:13:49,590 -Uf... Not that. -I don't like those either. 1176 01:13:49,592 --> 01:13:53,027 We have ribbed or glow in the dark. 1177 01:13:53,029 --> 01:13:56,431 I'd prefer it if my cock doesn't glow to be honest. 1178 01:13:56,433 --> 01:13:59,133 Banana. 1179 01:13:59,135 --> 01:14:00,701 Right. 1180 01:14:12,048 --> 01:14:13,080 Come here. 1181 01:14:23,626 --> 01:14:25,493 No, that's just yellow. 1182 01:14:25,495 --> 01:14:27,228 [both chuckle] 1183 01:14:28,765 --> 01:14:30,097 It's just yellow. 1184 01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:42,810 You ready? Do you want me to do anything? 1185 01:14:44,247 --> 01:14:45,813 Nah. 1186 01:14:49,853 --> 01:14:50,852 All right. 1187 01:14:52,222 --> 01:14:53,821 -You all right? -Yeah. 1188 01:14:54,858 --> 01:14:56,657 -Oh. -Oh. 1189 01:14:56,659 --> 01:14:58,826 -Ah. Okay. -Oh. 1190 01:15:06,035 --> 01:15:07,768 -Okay. -Yeah. 1191 01:15:09,539 --> 01:15:12,940 [both moaning] 1192 01:15:15,778 --> 01:15:16,844 No... 1193 01:15:22,151 --> 01:15:25,052 -No! -Oh, dear. 1194 01:15:25,054 --> 01:15:26,921 [both laugh] 1195 01:15:26,923 --> 01:15:29,891 -Did you come? -Yeah. 1196 01:15:29,893 --> 01:15:33,194 -I did, but I can keep going. -Can you? 1197 01:15:34,230 --> 01:15:36,731 No. I'm sorry. 1198 01:15:36,733 --> 01:15:39,066 That's okay. It's fine, it's fine. 1199 01:15:42,005 --> 01:15:43,571 Sorry about that. 1200 01:15:48,611 --> 01:15:50,912 Hey, it was much better than last time. 1201 01:15:50,914 --> 01:15:53,781 Yeah. It was, wasn't it? 1202 01:15:53,783 --> 01:15:55,149 So, imagine next time. 1203 01:15:55,151 --> 01:15:57,118 Puff... [chuckles] 1204 01:16:00,123 --> 01:16:03,324 ¶ Sweat, baby, sweat, baby Sex is a Texas drought me ¶ 1205 01:16:03,326 --> 01:16:05,126 ¶ And you do the kind of stuff ¶ 1206 01:16:05,128 --> 01:16:07,194 ¶ That only Prince Would sing about ¶ 1207 01:16:07,196 --> 01:16:09,864 ¶ So put your hands down My pants and I'll bet ¶ 1208 01:16:09,866 --> 01:16:12,833 ¶ You'll feel Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert ¶ 1209 01:16:12,835 --> 01:16:15,036 -¶ And you're getting two thumbs up ¶ -Yes. Ah! 1210 01:16:15,038 --> 01:16:17,071 ¶ You've had Enough of two-hand touch ¶ 1211 01:16:17,073 --> 01:16:19,140 ¶ You want it rough You're out of bounds ¶ 1212 01:16:19,142 --> 01:16:20,975 ¶ I want you smothered Want you covered ¶ 1213 01:16:20,977 --> 01:16:22,843 ¶ Like my Waffle House Hash browns ¶ 1214 01:16:22,845 --> 01:16:24,712 ¶ Come quicker than Fed Ex Never reaching apex ¶ 1215 01:16:24,714 --> 01:16:26,847 ¶ Like Coca-Cola Stock You are inclined ¶ 1216 01:16:26,849 --> 01:16:28,783 -¶ To make me rise An hour early ¶ -Fuck. 1217 01:16:28,785 --> 01:16:31,085 - ¶ Just like Daylight Savings Time ¶ -Yes. Ah! 1218 01:16:34,624 --> 01:16:37,158 -I know you're watching Pikachu. -I'm not. 1219 01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:39,026 -You are. -I'm just checking my emails. 1220 01:16:46,936 --> 01:16:49,103 How long have you been awake? 1221 01:16:49,105 --> 01:16:52,173 ¶ You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals ¶ 1222 01:16:52,175 --> 01:16:56,277 ¶ So let's do it like they Do on the Discovery Channel ¶ 1223 01:16:56,279 --> 01:16:59,213 Say my name. Say my name. 1224 01:16:59,215 --> 01:17:01,916 Oh, I've forgotten it. 1225 01:17:01,918 --> 01:17:03,618 That's okay. 1226 01:17:35,785 --> 01:17:39,253 ¶ Love, the kind you clean up With a mop and bucket ¶ 1227 01:17:39,255 --> 01:17:43,090 ¶ Like the lost Catacombs of Egypt Only God Knows where we stuck it ¶ 1228 01:17:43,092 --> 01:17:45,793 ¶ Hieroglyphics Let me be Pacific, I want to be down ¶ 1229 01:17:45,795 --> 01:17:48,362 ¶ In your South Seas But I got This notion that the motion ¶ 1230 01:17:48,364 --> 01:17:50,731 ¶ Of your ocean Means small craft advisory ¶ 1231 01:17:50,733 --> 01:17:52,333 ¶ So, if I capsize in Your thighs, high tide ¶ 1232 01:17:52,335 --> 01:17:55,870 I actually have agoraphobia. 1233 01:17:55,872 --> 01:17:59,707 [both chuckle] 1234 01:17:59,709 --> 01:18:01,308 -Right. -What? 1235 01:18:03,279 --> 01:18:09,183 Right, no. I, um, I actually have agoraphobia. 1236 01:18:18,094 --> 01:18:20,227 So, right. 1237 01:18:23,232 --> 01:18:25,099 -Cool down. -Ah. 1238 01:18:25,101 --> 01:18:27,902 -Ah, right. Okay, okay. -Oh. 1239 01:18:29,739 --> 01:18:35,109 Fuck it now. Right, right. Okay, right, right. No, no. Okay. 1240 01:18:35,111 --> 01:18:36,811 But um-- actually, right... 1241 01:18:36,813 --> 01:18:38,779 Well, I thought we were going out, so... 1242 01:18:38,781 --> 01:18:43,150 -Right, no. What. -Just-- 1243 01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:47,922 Oh, my God. Just say it really quick, right? Ready? 1244 01:18:47,924 --> 01:18:50,424 I just-- I thought we were going out. 1245 01:18:50,426 --> 01:18:51,759 Right. 1246 01:18:53,796 --> 01:18:56,097 Can we-- can we cut? 1247 01:18:56,099 --> 01:18:57,615 ¶ Nothin' but mammals ¶ 1248 01:18:57,616 --> 01:18:59,132 ¶ So, let's do it like they do ¶ 1249 01:18:59,135 --> 01:19:02,019 ¶ On the Discovery Channel ¶ 1250 01:19:02,020 --> 01:19:04,904 ¶ Do it again now You and me baby Ain't nothin' but mammals ¶ 1251 01:19:04,907 --> 01:19:08,776 ¶ So, let's do it like they Do on the Discovery Channel ¶ 1252 01:19:08,778 --> 01:19:10,277 ¶ Gettin' horny now