0000 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:10,000 YoubetCash.net Agen Judi Online Aman & Terpercaya 000 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Bonus Cashback Bola 6% Bonus Rollingan 0,80% 00 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Welcome Bonus Rp 25.000 Extra Bonus Tambahan Withdraw Rp 2.000.000 0 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:25,000 CashBack Mix Parlay 100% Bonus Ajak teman 45,2% 1 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,586 Where's my suitcase? 2 00:01:29,589 --> 00:01:31,757 Who stole the hair dryer? 3 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,383 Miss. Young lady! 4 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,469 Excuse me. Girls! 5 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,472 Hey, little fella. Hey! 6 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:41,016 Excuse me, girls. Girls! 7 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:42,851 Hey, big fella! 8 00:01:43,019 --> 00:01:45,229 Help me make the beds in the living room. 9 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:46,605 Come on down here! 10 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,774 Hey, son! 11 00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:53,028 Big fella. Hey, little guy! Little guy! 12 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,199 Pete's brother and his family are here. 13 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,951 Trish is going to Montreal. 14 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,703 Montreal? Oh, her family's there. 15 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,372 - Then we're off. - When? 16 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,874 - Tomorrow. - You're not ready, are you? 17 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,002 Uncle Frank won't let me watch the movie... 18 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,546 ...but the big kids can. 19 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,047 Why can't I? 20 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,423 I'm on the phone. 21 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,510 When do you come back? Not till then? 22 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:19,555 It's not even rated R. He's just being a jerk. 23 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,267 Kevin, if Uncle Frank says no... 24 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,102 ...then it must be really bad. 25 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,480 No, we put the dog in the kennel- - Hey, get off! 26 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:29,898 Kevin, out of the room. 27 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,401 Hang up the phone and make me, why don't you? 28 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,610 This kid. 29 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,321 Did you pick up a voltage adapter thing? 30 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,073 No, I didn't have time. 31 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:41,034 - Then how do I shave in France? - Grow a goatee. 32 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,412 Dad, nobody'll let me do anything. 33 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:47,916 I've got something, pick up those Micro Machines that are all over. 34 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,085 Aunt Leslie almost broke her neck. 35 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,629 He was playing with the glue gun again. 36 00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,131 We talked about that. 37 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:57,426 Did I burn down the joint? I don't think so. 38 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,469 I made ornaments out of fish hooks. 39 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:03,640 - My new fish hooks? - I can't make them out of old ones... 40 00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,226 ...with dry worm guts stuck on them. 41 00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:10,189 - Peter. - Come on, Kevin. Out. 42 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,649 Do you guys have a voltage adapter? 43 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,318 Here's a voltage adapter! 44 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:18,155 God, you're getting heavy! Go pack your suitcase. 45 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,451 Pack my suitcase? 46 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:25,078 - Where's the shampoo? - I don't live here. 47 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,456 This many people here and no shampoo. 48 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,791 - Are your folks home? - They don't live here. 49 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:32,628 - Tracy, did you order the pizza? - Buzz did. 50 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,838 Excuse me. Are your parents here? 51 00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:36,548 My parents live in Paris. 52 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:37,799 - Hi! - Hi! 53 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,343 - Are your parents home? - Yeah. 54 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,428 - Do they live here? - No. 55 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:45,307 No. Why should they? All kids, no parents. 56 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,892 Probably a fancy orphanage. 57 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:51,063 I don't know how to pack a suitcase. I've never done it once. 58 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,398 - Tough. - That's what Megan said. 59 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,109 - What did I say? - You told him, "Tough." 60 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:59,655 The dope was whining about a suitcase. What was I supposed to say? 61 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:01,531 "Congratulations, you're an idiot"? 62 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,283 - I'm not an idiot! - Really? 63 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:06,578 You're helpless! We have to do everything for you. 64 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:09,998 - She's right, Kev. - Excuse me, puke- breath. I'm small. 65 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,833 I don't know how to pack. 66 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,379 - I hope you didn't just pack crap. - Shut up, Linnie. 67 00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:18,548 - Do you know what I should pack? - Buzz told you, cheek- face. 68 00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:20,509 Toilet paper and water. 69 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:23,637 What are you so worried about? 70 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:26,431 You know Mom's gonna pack your stuff, anyway. 71 00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:29,768 You're what the French call les incompetents. 72 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,019 What? 73 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,855 Bombs away! 74 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,822 P.S. You have to sleep on the hide- a- bed with Fuller. 75 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:45,158 If he has something to drink, he'll wet the bed. 76 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,704 This house is so full of people it makes me sick! 77 00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:51,665 When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone! 78 00:04:51,874 --> 00:04:54,668 Did you hear me? I'm living alone! 79 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,546 I'm living alone! 80 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,301 Who's gonna feed your spider? 81 00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:06,805 He just ate a load of mice guts. He'll be good for a couple weeks. 82 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:11,435 Is it true French babes don't shave their pits? 83 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,145 Some don't. 84 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,189 But they got nude beaches. 85 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:17,607 Not in the winter. 86 00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:25,490 Buzz? 87 00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,784 Don't you know how to knock, phlegm- wad? 88 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:31,413 Can I sleep here? I don't want to sleep with Fuller. 89 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,457 If he drinks, he'll wet the bed. 90 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:38,253 I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass. 91 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,675 Check it out. Old man Marley. 92 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,722 Who's he? 93 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,976 You ever heard of the South Bend Shovel Slayer? 94 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,020 - No. - That's him. 95 00:05:55,229 --> 00:06:00,108 In '58 he murdered his whole family and half the people on his block... 96 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,236 ...with a snow shovel. 97 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:06,740 Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since. 98 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:10,494 If he's the shovel slayer, how come the cops don't arrest him? 99 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,454 Not enough evidence to convict. 100 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,207 They never found the bodies. 101 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,501 Everyone around here knows he did it. 102 00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:19,961 It'll just be a matter of time... 103 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,214 ...before he does it again. 104 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:24,091 What's he doing now? 105 00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:27,219 He walks up and down the streets every night... 106 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:29,721 ...salting the sidewalks. 107 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,890 Maybe he's just trying to be nice. 108 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,310 No way. 109 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,397 See that garbage can full of salt? 110 00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:41,858 That's where he keeps his victims. 111 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,861 The salt turns the bodies... 112 00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,905 ...into mummies. 113 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,909 Mummies! 114 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:56,706 Look out! 115 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,992 How you kids doing? Good? 116 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,786 Lot of action around here today, huh? 117 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,580 Going on vacation? 118 00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,331 Where you going? 119 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:42,002 You hear me, or what? Going on a trip? 120 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,212 Where you going, kid? 121 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:56,475 Okay, that's $122.50. 122 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,977 Not from me, kid. I don't live here. 123 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,229 You just around for the holidays? 124 00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,731 You could say that. 125 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,483 - Pizza's here! - There you go. 126 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,651 That's $122.50. 127 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,904 It's my brother's house. He'll get it. 128 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:12,240 Hey, listen.... 129 00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,034 - Hi. - Hi. 130 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,453 - Are you Mr. McCallister? - Yeah. 131 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,497 The Mr. McCallister who lives here? 132 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,166 Good, because somebody owes me $122.50. 133 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:24,920 - I'd like a word with you, sir. - Am I under arrest or something? 134 00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:29,007 No, no, no. There's always a lot of burglaries around the holidays. 135 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:33,303 We're checking the neighborhood to see if the proper precautions are taken. 136 00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:37,557 We have automatic timers for our lights, locks for our doors. 137 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,768 That's about as well as anybody can do. 138 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:42,020 - Did you get some eggnog? - Come on. 139 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,647 - Let's eat. - Come on. 140 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:44,856 - Eggnog? - Pizza! 141 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:48,401 - Are you gonna be leaving- - ? - Pizza! 142 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,363 Grab a napkin and pour your own drinks. 143 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:56,284 - Does Santa go through customs? - What time do we have to go to bed? 144 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:59,329 Early. We're leaving at 8 a.m. on the button. 145 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:03,291 I hope you're all drinking milk. I want to get rid of it. 146 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:08,088 - Pizza boy needs $122.50, plus tip. - For pizza? 147 00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:10,048 Ten pizzas times 12 bucks. 148 00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,676 - You've got money. - Traveler's checks. 149 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,970 Forget it, Frank. We have cash. 150 00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:18,348 You probably got the checks that don't work in France. 151 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,476 Did anyone order me a plain cheese? 152 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,812 Yeah. But if you want any... 153 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:27,315 ...somebody's gonna have to barf it up because it's gone. 154 00:09:27,858 --> 00:09:31,403 Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi. 155 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,203 Kev! Kev, get a plate. 156 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:53,008 - Passports! - Watch it! 157 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,930 No, no. Get these passports out of here. 158 00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,354 Are you okay, honey? Come here. Are you all right? 159 00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:08,273 What is the matter? 160 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,234 He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose. 161 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,486 He knows I hate sausage and olives- - 162 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:16,156 Look what you did, you little jerk! 163 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,087 Get upstairs now. 164 00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:32,297 Why? 165 00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:34,174 You're such a disease. 166 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,760 - Shut up! - Kevin, upstairs! 167 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,137 - Say good night, Kevin. - "Good night, Kevin." 168 00:10:42,099 --> 00:10:43,975 Why do I get treated like scum? 169 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,770 I'm sorry. This house is just crazy. 170 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,230 We've got all these extra kids running around. 171 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,484 My brother's in from Ohio. It's nuts. 172 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,236 How come you didn't bring more cheese pizzas? 173 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,490 - Nice tip. Thanks. - Thanks. 174 00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,908 Having a reunion? 175 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:04,412 My husband's brother transferred to Paris. His kids are still here. 176 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,290 He missed the family, so he invited us to Paris... 177 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,667 ...so we'll be together. 178 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,462 - You're taking a trip to Paris? - Yes, we leave tomorrow morning. 179 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,839 Excellent. Excellent. 180 00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,093 If you'll excuse me, this one's a little out of sorts. 181 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:21,012 Don't worry about me. I spoke to your husband. 182 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:26,059 And don't worry about your home. It's in good hands. 183 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:32,107 Fifteen people in this house, and only you have to make trouble. 184 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:33,692 I'm getting dumped on. 185 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,695 You're the only one acting up. Now get upstairs. 186 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,239 I am upstairs, dummy! 187 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,616 The third floor? 188 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,993 - Go. - It's scary up there. 189 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,079 Fuller'll be up in a while. 190 00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:49,332 I don't want to sleep with Fuller. He wets the bed. 191 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,751 He'll pee all over me. I know it. 192 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,753 We'll put him somewhere else. 193 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,381 I'm sorry. 194 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,008 It's too late. Get upstairs. 195 00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,097 Everyone in this family hates me! 196 00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,474 Then ask Santa for a new family. 197 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:10,145 I don't want a new family. I don't want any family. Families suck! 198 00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:13,481 Stay up there. I don't want to see you again tonight. 199 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:16,192 I don't want to see you for the rest of my life. 200 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,862 I don't want to see anybody else either. 201 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,072 I hope you don't mean that. 202 00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:25,160 You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up and didn't have a family. 203 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:27,370 No, I wouldn't. 204 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:30,165 Then say it again. Maybe it'll happen. 205 00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:33,585 I hope I never see any of you jerks again! 206 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:57,442 I wish they would all just disappear. 207 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:57,669 - Where are they? - I don't know. She said 8 sharp. 208 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,595 Peter! 209 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,474 - We slept in! - We slept in! 210 00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:31,202 Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy. I live across the street. 211 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:33,204 You guys going out of town? 212 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,789 We're going to Florida. 213 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:38,626 Well, first we're going to Missouri to pick up my grandma. 214 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,337 You know the McCallisters are going to France? 215 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,922 Do you know if it's cold? 216 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:47,719 - Do these vans get good mileage? - Kid, I don't know. Hit the road! 217 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,641 Do a head count. Get everyone in the vans. 218 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,059 Where are the passports? 219 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,186 I put them in the microwave to dry. 220 00:14:57,438 --> 00:15:01,190 How fast does this go? Does it have automatic transmission? 221 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,192 Does it have 4- wheel drive? 222 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:07,280 Look, I told you before, kid. Don't bother me. Now, beat it! 223 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,960 Line up in front of the van. 224 00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:24,881 Line up and shut up! 225 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,800 Shut up! I gotta take a head count. 226 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,385 One, two, three- - 227 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,971 Eleven, 92, 12.... 228 00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,557 Buzz, don't be a moron. 229 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,685 Six, seven, eight... 230 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,480 ...nine, 10, 11. 231 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:44,525 Okay, half in this van, half in this one. Let's go. 232 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:48,488 Have a good trip. Bring me back something French. 233 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:55,036 There's no way we'll make this plane. It leaves in 45 minutes. 234 00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:56,496 Think positive! 235 00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:58,623 You be positive. I'll be realistic. 236 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,377 Ma'am. Ma'am. Excuse me, your power is fixed... 237 00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:06,214 ...but the phones are a mess. It'll take a couple of days to fix. 238 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,800 - Especially around the holidays. - Thanks. 239 00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:10,343 Did you count heads? 240 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,345 Eleven, including me. 241 00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:17,141 Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and a partridge in a pear tree. 242 00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,303 Hold the plane! 243 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,431 - Did we miss it? - You just made it. 244 00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:01,310 Single seats only in coach. Take whatever's free. 245 00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:04,272 I get a window seat! 246 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:10,903 - Kids are in coach, we're first class. - Seats Four A and B. 247 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,573 Four A and B. I'll take your coats. 248 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,201 - Fasten your seat belts. - Champagne, please. 249 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,537 - It's free, isn't it? - Oh, yes. 250 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,581 We made it. 251 00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:25,543 Do you believe it? Hope we didn't forget anything. 252 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,542 Mom? 253 00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,882 Thank you. 254 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:58,427 - That's real. That's real crystal. - Yeah, so? 255 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,556 - Put them in your purse. - Frank, I can't do that. 256 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,517 Just- - Put them in your purse! 257 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,395 Yeah. Fill it up. Fill it up. 258 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:08,938 Fill it up, please. 259 00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:10,898 Thank you. 260 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,652 Don't you feel like a heel, flying first class with the kids in coach? 261 00:19:14,903 --> 00:19:16,237 No. The kids are fine. 262 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:20,741 The only time I ever flew as a kid was in the station wagon, not to France. 263 00:19:21,034 --> 00:19:23,911 We had to go to Aunt Laura and Uncle Arthur's. 264 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,290 Kids are okay. They're having the time of their lives. 265 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,001 Hello? 266 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,920 Mom? 267 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,757 Dad? 268 00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:43,598 Mom? Dad? 269 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:47,518 Where are you guys? 270 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,812 Buzz? 271 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,232 Buzz? 272 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,613 Buzz? 273 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,243 Megan? 274 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,120 Hello? 275 00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,831 Hello? 276 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,291 Rod? 277 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,959 Uncle Frank? 278 00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:14,837 Uncle Frank, is this a joke? 279 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,550 Megan? Linnie? 280 00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:23,888 Is this a joke? 281 00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:49,288 It's only my imagination. 282 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,499 Only my imagination. 283 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:12,061 The cars are still here. They didn't go to the airport! 284 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,582 I made my family disappear. 285 00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:36,794 You're completely helpless. 286 00:21:37,045 --> 00:21:41,841 You know, Kevin, you're what the French call les incompetents. 287 00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:45,052 Kevin, I'm going to feed you to my tarantula. 288 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:48,055 Kevin, you are such a disease. 289 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:53,227 There are 15 people, and you're the only one who has to make trouble. 290 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:57,064 Look what you did, you little jerk! 291 00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:04,196 I made my family disappear. 292 00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:20,087 I'm free! 293 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:43,402 No clothes on anybody. Sickening! 294 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:47,948 Cool! Firecrackers! I'll save these for later. 295 00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:51,118 Buzz, I'm going through all your private stuff. 296 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,913 You better come out and pound me! 297 00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,961 Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof! 298 00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:51,345 Who is it? 299 00:23:55,016 --> 00:23:57,893 It's me, Snakes. I got the stuff. 300 00:23:58,186 --> 00:24:00,938 Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out. 301 00:24:01,189 --> 00:24:04,275 All right, Johnny, but what about my money? 302 00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:05,526 What money? 303 00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:07,987 A.C. said you had some dough for me. 304 00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:11,115 Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? 305 00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:13,242 A.C. said 10 percent. 306 00:24:14,411 --> 00:24:16,871 Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more. 307 00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:20,040 Guys, I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! 308 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:22,793 You better come out and stop me! 309 00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:25,129 He'll call you when he gets out. 310 00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:28,048 Hey. 311 00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,301 I'll tell you what I'll give you. 312 00:24:31,928 --> 00:24:34,221 I'm gonna give you to the count of 10... 313 00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:37,224 ...to get your ugly, yellow... 314 00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:39,602 ...no- good keister off my property... 315 00:24:39,811 --> 00:24:41,812 ...before I pump your guts full of lead. 316 00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:44,648 All right, I'm sorry. I'm going. 317 00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:47,109 One, two...10. 318 00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:04,752 Keep the change, you filthy animal. 319 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:08,005 Mom! 320 00:25:19,309 --> 00:25:20,643 What's the matter? 321 00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:23,270 Honey? 322 00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:28,067 - I have a terrible feeling. - About what? 323 00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:31,278 That we didn't do something. 324 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,782 You feel that way because we left in a hurry. 325 00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:38,202 - We took care of everything. - Did I turn off the coffee? 326 00:25:38,578 --> 00:25:39,787 No. 327 00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:41,080 I did. 328 00:25:41,289 --> 00:25:42,706 Did you lock up? 329 00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:45,292 Yeah. 330 00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:48,003 Did you close the garage? 331 00:25:50,006 --> 00:25:51,090 That's it. 332 00:25:51,299 --> 00:25:53,717 I forgot to close the garage. That's it. 333 00:25:59,474 --> 00:26:01,350 No, that's not it. 334 00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,104 What else could we be forgetting? 335 00:26:09,025 --> 00:26:10,067 Kevin! 336 00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:56,947 The captain's doing all he can. Your phones are out of order. 337 00:26:57,157 --> 00:26:59,617 We'll call when we land. I'm sure it's okay. 338 00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:03,579 Horrible. Horrible. 339 00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:05,205 Just horrible. 340 00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:08,167 How could we do this? We forgot him. 341 00:27:08,376 --> 00:27:10,669 We didn't forget him, we just miscounted. 342 00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:14,214 What kind of mother am I? 343 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:17,885 If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses. 344 00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:25,476 Five families gone on one block alone. 345 00:27:25,685 --> 00:27:28,646 They all told me from their own mouths. 346 00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:30,397 It's almost too easy. 347 00:27:30,940 --> 00:27:31,982 Check it out: 348 00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:34,234 All the houses with nobody home... 349 00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:37,279 ...have automatic timers on their lights. 350 00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:40,949 But I got it all figured out. Watch this. 351 00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:47,122 Number 664 will be going on right about... 352 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:49,708 ...now. 353 00:27:50,710 --> 00:27:52,670 Wait, wait, wait. 354 00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:56,548 Number 672... 355 00:27:57,550 --> 00:28:00,094 ...right now. 356 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:03,514 Wait a minute. 357 00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,684 671... 358 00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:07,935 ...now. 359 00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:13,941 And that's the one, Marvin. That's the silver tuna. 360 00:28:14,442 --> 00:28:15,651 It's very G. 361 00:28:16,319 --> 00:28:18,737 Very G, huh? It's loaded. 362 00:28:18,947 --> 00:28:21,198 It's got lots of top- flight goods. 363 00:28:21,449 --> 00:28:24,743 - Stereos, VCRs- - - Toys? 364 00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:27,538 Probably looking at some very fine jewelry. 365 00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:29,331 Possible cash horde. 366 00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,584 Odd marketable securities. 367 00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,546 Who knows? It's a gem. 368 00:28:36,339 --> 00:28:38,298 Grab your crowbar. 369 00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:40,968 Crowbars up. 370 00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:41,695 Which way? 371 00:29:41,863 --> 00:29:44,198 We'll go around back, down the basement. 372 00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:07,846 - You said they were gone. - They were gonna leave today. 373 00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:09,681 Let's get out of here. 374 00:30:46,135 --> 00:30:48,470 We have to use the phone, please. 375 00:30:49,305 --> 00:30:52,015 It's an emergency. We really have to make a call. 376 00:30:52,225 --> 00:30:54,726 Please! Our brother's home alone. 377 00:30:55,436 --> 00:30:57,229 Give us the phone! 378 00:30:57,522 --> 00:30:58,730 I'm sorry. Thank you. 379 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:01,650 I'm calling the police. Book us a flight home. 380 00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:04,736 Get change out of here. Call everybody you know. 381 00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:09,116 Here's my address book. You and Frank call everyone on our street. 382 00:31:09,325 --> 00:31:11,118 Maybe somebody can help us. 383 00:31:11,327 --> 00:31:14,705 Hello? Hello? Oh, she'll have to call you back. 384 00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:24,965 This is ridiculous. Only a wimp would be hiding under a bed. 385 00:31:25,174 --> 00:31:29,177 And I can't be a wimp. I'm the man of the house. 386 00:31:36,477 --> 00:31:39,813 Hey, I'm not afraid anymore! 387 00:31:40,857 --> 00:31:44,443 I said, I'm not afraid anymore! 388 00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:48,780 Do you hear me? I'm not afraid anymore. 389 00:32:19,395 --> 00:32:20,687 Village police department. 390 00:32:20,855 --> 00:32:24,274 I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone. 391 00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:29,571 I'd like somebody to go there. Tell him that we're coming home to get him. 392 00:32:29,822 --> 00:32:31,865 Okay, let me connect you with Family Crisis Intervention. 393 00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:33,367 No, it's not a family crisis. 394 00:32:33,534 --> 00:32:34,910 Hold on. 395 00:32:36,829 --> 00:32:40,207 Larry, can you pick up? There's some hyper lady on hold. 396 00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,793 - What line, Rose? - Two. 397 00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:45,837 Family Crisis Intervention, Sergeant Balzak. 398 00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:48,924 I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone. 399 00:32:49,133 --> 00:32:53,804 Has the child been involved in violence with a drunk family member? 400 00:32:54,013 --> 00:32:55,055 No! 401 00:32:55,348 --> 00:32:57,849 Has he been involved in a household accident? 402 00:32:58,059 --> 00:33:00,227 I don't know. I hope not. 403 00:33:01,604 --> 00:33:05,607 Has the child ingested any poison or is an object lodged in his throat? 404 00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:09,319 No, he's home alone! I'd like somebody to go over to the house... 405 00:33:09,529 --> 00:33:11,321 ...and see if he's all right. 406 00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:16,034 You want us to go to your house, just to check on him. 407 00:33:16,244 --> 00:33:17,327 Yes! 408 00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:19,579 Let me connect you to the police. 409 00:33:19,789 --> 00:33:21,248 They just transferred me. 410 00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:23,583 - Rose! Hyper on 2. - Hang on. 411 00:33:23,793 --> 00:33:27,421 - Hold on, please. - No, please don't hang up. Please! 412 00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:29,506 Any luck? 413 00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:31,091 No. 414 00:33:31,259 --> 00:33:33,927 - I couldn't get anybody. - Leslie? 415 00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:36,430 Nothing but a bunch of answering machines. 416 00:33:38,599 --> 00:33:41,560 Somebody pick up. Pick up! 417 00:33:41,769 --> 00:33:43,770 Oh, hi, ma'am. It's you again. 418 00:33:43,938 --> 00:33:47,899 I'm calling from Paris. I have a son who's home alone, and I- - 419 00:33:48,109 --> 00:33:51,903 We'll send a policeman over to your house to check on your son. 420 00:34:22,185 --> 00:34:24,853 There's no one home. The house looks secure. 421 00:34:25,063 --> 00:34:27,147 Tell them to count their kids again. 422 00:34:28,232 --> 00:34:30,650 You can't bump somebody or ask or- - ? 423 00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:32,694 There's no way I can do that. 424 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:34,988 Isn't there a way if you ask somebody? 425 00:34:35,198 --> 00:34:36,698 If you said it's an emergency- - 426 00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:38,158 I cannot ask them. 427 00:34:38,451 --> 00:34:40,702 A policeman's going over to the house. 428 00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:43,830 Well, that's a relief. Everything here is booked. 429 00:34:43,998 --> 00:34:45,082 Nothing to Chicago? 430 00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:48,502 There's nothing to Chicago, New York, Nashville. 431 00:34:49,879 --> 00:34:53,006 - What about a private plane? - Sorry. We don't do that. 432 00:34:53,257 --> 00:34:56,134 The only thing is a booking for us on Friday morning. 433 00:34:56,344 --> 00:34:58,845 Friday morn- - That's two days away. 434 00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:02,766 The kids are exhausted and so are you. There's nothing we can do. 435 00:35:02,975 --> 00:35:07,979 I say we go over to Rob's, and that way we can call the police again. 436 00:35:08,272 --> 00:35:11,483 I'm not leaving here unless it's on an airplane. 437 00:35:11,692 --> 00:35:13,777 Madame, we are doing everything we can. 438 00:35:14,028 --> 00:35:17,989 If you want to stay at the airport, maybe we can get you on standby. 439 00:35:18,241 --> 00:35:21,118 It is a possibility that a seat will open up. 440 00:35:21,869 --> 00:35:24,663 - Is that okay? - Yes. I'll wait. 441 00:35:30,419 --> 00:35:32,629 - Bye. I'll miss you, honey. - Bye. 442 00:35:36,634 --> 00:35:38,385 Don't you get lost. 443 00:35:39,971 --> 00:35:41,138 Goodbye. 444 00:35:56,904 --> 00:35:59,990 I took a shower, washing every body part with actual soap. 445 00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:02,117 Including all my major crevices... 446 00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:04,744 ...between my toes and in my belly button... 447 00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:07,414 ...which I never did before but enjoyed. 448 00:36:07,915 --> 00:36:13,003 I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse. 449 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:17,257 I can't find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up today. 450 00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:19,593 Other than that, I'm in good shape. 451 00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:13,480 All right! Buzz's life savings. 452 00:37:40,299 --> 00:37:42,926 I thought the Murphys went to Florida. 453 00:37:59,193 --> 00:38:02,237 You're one of the great cat burglars of the world. 454 00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:05,115 You think you can keep it down a little in there? 455 00:38:05,783 --> 00:38:09,536 You've reached the Murphys. Please leave a message after the beep. 456 00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:14,291 This is Peter McCallister again. We're in Paris at my brother's. 457 00:38:14,542 --> 00:38:17,961 Let me give you the number here. The country code is 33. 458 00:38:18,170 --> 00:38:23,133 The area code is 14 and the number is 694- 876- - 459 00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:25,343 - Hey, Harry. - Yeah? 460 00:38:25,594 --> 00:38:28,430 That house we ran last night, was that the McCallister's? 461 00:38:28,597 --> 00:38:30,098 Yeah. 462 00:38:30,433 --> 00:38:33,768 - Call me in Paris. - You're right. They're gone. 463 00:38:37,189 --> 00:38:40,734 - I knew they were. - Silver tuna tonight. 464 00:38:49,869 --> 00:38:51,202 How may I help you? 465 00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:55,165 Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association? 466 00:38:55,958 --> 00:38:57,500 Well, I don't know. 467 00:38:58,586 --> 00:39:02,005 - It doesn't say, hon. - Can you please find out? 468 00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:06,885 - Herb. - Yeah? 469 00:39:07,094 --> 00:39:10,347 I got a question here about a toothbrush. 470 00:39:16,937 --> 00:39:21,441 Do you know, is this brush approved by the American Dental Association? 471 00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:22,776 I don't know. 472 00:39:45,257 --> 00:39:47,675 Oh, hon, you pay for that here. 473 00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:51,638 Wait, you have to pay for that. 474 00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:55,475 Son! Son! Hey! 475 00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:58,395 Jimmy, stop that boy! 476 00:40:02,817 --> 00:40:03,983 Hey! 477 00:40:04,193 --> 00:40:06,069 Hey! 478 00:40:08,322 --> 00:40:09,823 Shoplifter! 479 00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:14,869 Hey! Hey, kid! 480 00:40:21,877 --> 00:40:23,253 Come back here! 481 00:40:24,755 --> 00:40:26,423 Stop it, will you? 482 00:40:26,966 --> 00:40:28,091 Come here. 483 00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:08,131 I'm a criminal. 484 00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:37,160 What's so funny? 485 00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:39,245 What's so funny? 486 00:41:39,747 --> 00:41:40,872 Why are you laughing? 487 00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:45,376 You did it again. 488 00:41:46,795 --> 00:41:48,254 You left the water running. 489 00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:51,591 Why do you do that? I told you not to do it. 490 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,177 - It's our calling card. - Calling card. 491 00:41:54,386 --> 00:41:56,513 All the great ones leave their mark. 492 00:41:56,764 --> 00:41:58,348 We're the Wet Bandits. 493 00:41:58,766 --> 00:42:01,309 You're sick, you know? You're really sick. 494 00:42:02,186 --> 00:42:03,978 - I'm not sick. - Yes, you are. 495 00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:05,396 It's a sick thing to do. 496 00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:14,030 - We don't need that. - Don't tell me- - 497 00:42:14,281 --> 00:42:16,115 I can do it if I want to. 498 00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:20,495 It's not sick. Hey, watch out! 499 00:42:28,796 --> 00:42:30,129 Hey! Hey! 500 00:42:30,339 --> 00:42:32,298 You gotta watch out for traffic. 501 00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:34,592 - Sorry. - Damn. 502 00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:37,178 Santy don't visit the funeral homes, buddy. 503 00:42:38,222 --> 00:42:39,430 Okay, okay. 504 00:42:40,307 --> 00:42:42,392 Merry Christmas. 505 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:53,903 What's the matter? 506 00:42:54,321 --> 00:42:56,447 I don't like the way that kid looked at me. 507 00:42:56,657 --> 00:43:00,243 - Ever seen him before? - I saw a hundred kids this week. 508 00:43:01,328 --> 00:43:03,121 Let's see what house he goes into. 509 00:43:35,696 --> 00:43:37,030 Why's he going faster? 510 00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:39,365 I told you something's wrong. 511 00:43:39,575 --> 00:43:41,576 He looked at me weird. Why would he run? 512 00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:19,489 Maybe he went in the church. 513 00:44:19,782 --> 00:44:22,492 - I'm not going in there. - Me neither. 514 00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:24,619 Let's get out of here. 515 00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:46,140 When those guys come back, I'll be ready. 516 00:45:10,958 --> 00:45:12,208 Did they come back? 517 00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:14,502 From Paris? 518 00:45:50,122 --> 00:45:52,498 We'll come back tomorrow. Maybe they'll be gone. 519 00:45:53,250 --> 00:45:56,002 We better go before somebody sees us. 520 00:46:27,534 --> 00:46:29,368 Look what I found in the kitchen. 521 00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:31,746 Frank, those are for later. 522 00:46:36,543 --> 00:46:38,961 Do you want a little shrimp, huh? 523 00:46:40,088 --> 00:46:41,798 Do you speak English? 524 00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:46,677 Well, is there- - ? 525 00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:55,686 - Did you get anybody? - I am looking for my son! 526 00:46:55,896 --> 00:46:57,605 No, I can't find anybody. 527 00:46:57,815 --> 00:47:00,900 They're all shopping. Nobody's home for the holidays. 528 00:47:01,151 --> 00:47:02,819 Never mind, forget it. 529 00:47:03,695 --> 00:47:06,405 - This is so pointless. - What? 530 00:47:06,782 --> 00:47:08,866 We're here rotting in this apartment. 531 00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:11,285 Kevin's at home. Mom's at the airport. 532 00:47:11,662 --> 00:47:14,247 - So? - You're not worried about Kevin? 533 00:47:14,456 --> 00:47:19,335 Why should I be? He acted like a jerk, and now he caught it in the butt. 534 00:47:20,587 --> 00:47:23,965 He's so little and helpless. Don't you think he's flipped out? 535 00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:27,260 The trout can use a couple of days in the real world. 536 00:47:27,469 --> 00:47:29,679 You're not worried something might happen? 537 00:47:30,597 --> 00:47:32,473 No. For three reasons: 538 00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:37,353 A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we have smoke detectors... 539 00:47:37,604 --> 00:47:41,440 ...and D, we live in the most boring street in the United States... 540 00:47:41,650 --> 00:47:46,028 ...where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period. 541 00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:14,181 Who is it? 542 00:48:14,349 --> 00:48:16,559 It's Little Nero's. I have your pizza. 543 00:48:17,185 --> 00:48:19,854 Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out. 544 00:48:20,814 --> 00:48:22,231 Okay. 545 00:48:23,650 --> 00:48:25,026 What about the money? 546 00:48:26,403 --> 00:48:27,904 What money? 547 00:48:28,697 --> 00:48:31,365 Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir. 548 00:48:32,326 --> 00:48:35,703 Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? 549 00:48:37,205 --> 00:48:39,040 That'll be $11.80, sir. 550 00:48:46,506 --> 00:48:49,091 Keep the change, you filthy animal. 551 00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:52,762 - Cheapskate. - Hey. 552 00:48:52,971 --> 00:48:55,264 I'm gonna give you to the count of 10... 553 00:48:55,474 --> 00:48:57,850 ...to get your ugly, yellow... 554 00:48:58,101 --> 00:49:00,186 ...no- good keister off my property... 555 00:49:00,395 --> 00:49:02,521 ...before I pump your guts full of lead. 556 00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:05,483 One, two...10. 557 00:49:33,470 --> 00:49:36,806 A lovely cheese pizza, just for me. 558 00:49:40,018 --> 00:49:41,602 - - to Dallas/Fort Worth. 559 00:49:41,853 --> 00:49:43,646 American Airlines.... 560 00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:47,942 So we have the $500, the pocket translator... 561 00:49:48,151 --> 00:49:50,486 ...the two first- class seats, that's an upgrade- - 562 00:49:50,737 --> 00:49:51,862 Is that a real Rolex? 563 00:49:53,615 --> 00:49:55,908 - Do you think it is? - No. 564 00:49:56,118 --> 00:49:59,328 But who can tell? I also have a ring. 565 00:49:59,579 --> 00:50:01,414 That is beautiful! 566 00:50:01,623 --> 00:50:02,957 They're boarding. 567 00:50:03,583 --> 00:50:06,794 She's offered us two first- class tickets if we go Friday. 568 00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:11,257 Plus a ring, a watch, a pocket translator, $500 and- - 569 00:50:11,466 --> 00:50:12,758 The earrings. 570 00:50:13,051 --> 00:50:16,804 She's got her own earrings. A whole shoebox full of them. 571 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,597 - Come on, come on. - No, but- - 572 00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:21,058 I'm desperate. 573 00:50:22,185 --> 00:50:25,938 I'm begging you. From a mother to a mother. Please! 574 00:50:28,066 --> 00:50:30,776 - Oh, Ed. - Please! 575 00:50:31,778 --> 00:50:33,446 Oh, all right. 576 00:50:39,202 --> 00:50:41,287 "Dear Santa, I got a sister last year. 577 00:50:41,455 --> 00:50:43,414 This year I'd rather have Clay- Doh." 578 00:50:58,388 --> 00:50:59,430 I didn't mean it. 579 00:50:59,639 --> 00:51:02,808 If you come back, I'll never be a pain in the butt again. 580 00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:06,312 I promise. Good night. 581 00:52:47,497 --> 00:52:49,415 Are those microwave dinners good? 582 00:52:50,041 --> 00:52:52,793 - I don't know. - I'll give them a whirl. 583 00:52:58,300 --> 00:52:59,842 For the kids. 584 00:53:02,220 --> 00:53:04,346 Hold on, I got a coupon for that. 585 00:53:05,682 --> 00:53:07,558 It was in the paper this morning. 586 00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:12,229 $19.83. 587 00:53:12,856 --> 00:53:14,106 Okay. 588 00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:19,612 Are you here by yourself? 589 00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:22,698 Ma'am, I'm 8 years old. 590 00:53:22,949 --> 00:53:27,161 You think I'd be here alone? I don't think so. 591 00:53:27,871 --> 00:53:28,954 Where's your mom? 592 00:53:29,164 --> 00:53:30,748 - In the car. - Where's your dad? 593 00:53:30,957 --> 00:53:33,876 - He's at work. - What about brothers and sisters? 594 00:53:34,085 --> 00:53:35,461 I'm an only child. 595 00:53:35,962 --> 00:53:38,047 - Where do you live? - I can't tell you. 596 00:53:38,256 --> 00:53:41,133 - Why not? - Because you're a stranger. 597 00:54:19,673 --> 00:54:23,050 Hello, Kevin! 598 00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:27,763 Shut up! 599 00:54:41,319 --> 00:54:42,569 I don't get it. 600 00:54:43,196 --> 00:54:45,364 It looks like there's nobody's home. 601 00:54:46,366 --> 00:54:48,575 Last night the place is jumping. 602 00:54:49,202 --> 00:54:51,078 Something ain't right. 603 00:54:51,830 --> 00:54:52,871 Go check it out. 604 00:55:01,881 --> 00:55:03,048 Now? 605 00:55:03,466 --> 00:55:06,927 No, tomorrow, egghead! Now! Go ahead. 606 00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:10,431 "Now?" 607 00:55:27,782 --> 00:55:28,907 Shit! 608 00:55:32,203 --> 00:55:33,787 Get the hell out of here. 609 00:55:33,997 --> 00:55:37,082 All right, Johnny. But what about my money? 610 00:55:37,250 --> 00:55:38,375 What money? 611 00:55:38,585 --> 00:55:40,794 A.C. said you had some dough for me. 612 00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:43,881 Is that a fact? How much do I owe you? 613 00:55:44,090 --> 00:55:45,883 A.C. said 10 percent. 614 00:55:47,135 --> 00:55:49,636 Too bad A.C. ain't in charge no more. 615 00:55:49,846 --> 00:55:51,013 What do you mean? 616 00:55:51,222 --> 00:55:53,724 He's upstairs, taking a bath. 617 00:55:54,642 --> 00:55:56,810 He'll call you when he gets out. 618 00:55:58,271 --> 00:56:02,358 Hey, I tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. 619 00:56:03,193 --> 00:56:06,278 - Snakes? - I'll give you to the count of 10... 620 00:56:06,488 --> 00:56:08,697 ...to get your ugly, yellow, no- good... 621 00:56:08,907 --> 00:56:10,866 ...keister off my property... 622 00:56:11,117 --> 00:56:13,118 ...before I pump your guts full of lead. 623 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:15,996 All right, Johnny. I'm sorry. I'm going. 624 00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:19,124 One, two...10. 625 00:56:38,353 --> 00:56:41,313 Keep the change, you filthy animal. 626 00:56:46,152 --> 00:56:47,194 What happened? 627 00:56:47,362 --> 00:56:49,905 I don't know who, but somebody got blown away. 628 00:56:50,156 --> 00:56:52,408 Somebody beat us, they're in there. 629 00:56:52,659 --> 00:56:53,742 Two of them. 630 00:56:53,993 --> 00:56:56,578 There was arguing. One blew the other one away. 631 00:56:56,788 --> 00:56:58,372 - Who? - I don't know. 632 00:56:59,207 --> 00:57:04,294 I recognized one of their voices. I heard that name "Snakes" before. 633 00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:08,215 Snakes? Snakes. Snakes. I don't know no Snakes. 634 00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:11,677 Snakes. Let's get out of here. 635 00:57:14,055 --> 00:57:15,305 Hold it. Hold it. 636 00:57:15,515 --> 00:57:18,851 Let's wait and see who it is. We work this neighborhood too. 637 00:57:19,769 --> 00:57:21,687 Suppose the cops finger us for a job... 638 00:57:21,896 --> 00:57:24,857 ...and they ask us about a murder in the area. 639 00:57:25,066 --> 00:57:28,026 Won't it be nice to have a face to go with it? 640 00:57:30,738 --> 00:57:31,864 That's a good idea. 641 00:57:32,407 --> 00:57:35,451 Of course it's a good idea. Snakes? 642 00:57:35,702 --> 00:57:37,870 He sounded like a snake. 643 00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:45,627 Everything's full. 644 00:57:45,837 --> 00:57:47,337 Everything's full? 645 00:57:47,547 --> 00:57:50,382 I'm very sorry, but it is Christmas Eve. 646 00:57:51,134 --> 00:57:52,926 What about another airline? 647 00:57:57,599 --> 00:58:00,392 Nothing available. May I help you get a hotel room? 648 00:58:00,602 --> 00:58:04,146 - Tomorrow we can get you a flight. - I can't wait that long. 649 00:58:04,772 --> 00:58:08,650 I'm sorry, ma'am, but we're doing absolutely everything we can. 650 00:58:12,906 --> 00:58:15,866 I'm in your way. I'm sorry. You've places to go. 651 00:58:16,075 --> 00:58:18,452 Got a ticket there, good. Excuse me. 652 00:58:18,745 --> 00:58:23,499 Look, I have been awake for almost 60 hours. I'm tired and I'm dirty. 653 00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:28,045 I have been from Chicago to Paris, to Dallas to- - Where am I? 654 00:58:28,671 --> 00:58:30,088 Scranton. 655 00:58:30,381 --> 00:58:32,925 I'm trying to get home to my 8- year- old son. 656 00:58:33,885 --> 00:58:36,261 Now you're telling me it's hopeless? 657 00:58:36,429 --> 00:58:38,931 - I'm sorry. - No. No way. 658 00:58:39,182 --> 00:58:42,184 This is Christmas! The season of perpetual hope. 659 00:58:43,269 --> 00:58:46,021 If I have to get on your runway and hitchhike... 660 00:58:46,272 --> 00:58:48,273 ...if it costs me everything I own... 661 00:58:48,483 --> 00:58:51,318 ...if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself... 662 00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:54,321 ...I am going to get home to my son. 663 00:58:55,615 --> 00:58:57,658 Ma'am, if there was anything- - 664 00:58:57,867 --> 00:58:59,451 Do it. Do anything. 665 00:58:59,661 --> 00:59:01,578 - I can get you a hotel room. - What? 666 00:59:01,871 --> 00:59:05,874 Can you excuse us for a sec? Can I see you for a second, please? 667 00:59:06,084 --> 00:59:07,960 Excuse us. 668 00:59:10,046 --> 00:59:12,464 You got a little bit of a dilemma. 669 00:59:12,674 --> 00:59:15,092 We got a crisis ourselves. 670 00:59:15,677 --> 00:59:17,928 Allow me to introduce myself. Gus Polinski. 671 00:59:20,348 --> 00:59:22,558 Polka King of the Midwest? 672 00:59:25,812 --> 00:59:27,312 The Kenosha Kickers? 673 00:59:28,606 --> 00:59:29,940 - Hi there. - Hi. 674 00:59:30,817 --> 00:59:34,194 That's okay. I thought you might have recognized- - 675 00:59:34,445 --> 00:59:37,906 I had a few hits a few years ago. That's why I just- - 676 00:59:38,074 --> 00:59:39,324 "Polka, Polka, Polka"? 677 00:59:41,869 --> 00:59:44,121 No? "Twin Lakes Polka"? 678 00:59:44,330 --> 00:59:49,167 "Yamahoozie Polka," a.k.a. "Kiss Me Polka"? "Polka Twist"? 679 00:59:49,377 --> 00:59:50,836 These are songs? 680 00:59:51,045 --> 00:59:53,922 Yeah. Yeah, we- - Some fairly big hits for us. 681 00:59:54,173 --> 00:59:55,966 You know, in the early '70s. 682 00:59:56,175 --> 00:59:58,969 Yeah, we sold about 623 copies of that. 683 00:59:59,178 --> 01:00:00,762 - In Chicago? - No, Sheboygan. 684 01:00:00,972 --> 01:00:02,639 Very big in Sheboygan. 685 01:00:02,849 --> 01:00:04,349 Did you say you could help? 686 01:00:04,517 --> 01:00:08,270 Anyway, I'm rambling on here. Our flight was canceled... 687 01:00:08,479 --> 01:00:12,858 ...so we gotta drive. See the guy in the yellow jacket over there? 688 01:00:13,067 --> 01:00:16,486 He's gonna rent us a nice big van to drive to Milwaukee. 689 01:00:16,696 --> 01:00:20,032 Now, I heard you had some problems getting to Chicago? 690 01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,658 To see your kid? 691 01:00:21,909 --> 01:00:25,871 My son. He- - We left, and he's there. 692 01:00:26,039 --> 01:00:29,666 If you have to get to Chicago, we'll gladly drive you. 693 01:00:29,876 --> 01:00:31,960 It's on the way to Milwaukee. 694 01:00:32,462 --> 01:00:34,880 - You'd give me a ride? - Sure, why not? 695 01:00:35,089 --> 01:00:36,590 You gotta get home. 696 01:00:36,799 --> 01:00:39,801 - A ride to Chicago? - Sure, it's Christmastime. 697 01:00:40,428 --> 01:00:42,012 Thank you. Oh, thank you. 698 01:00:42,263 --> 01:00:44,389 You don't mind going with polka bums? 699 01:00:44,599 --> 01:00:46,391 No, I'd love to. 700 01:01:08,915 --> 01:01:11,416 Hey, Marv. Marv, Marv! 701 01:01:11,626 --> 01:01:13,460 Look at this. 702 01:01:19,425 --> 01:01:23,011 I think we're getting scammed by a kindergartner. 703 01:01:53,376 --> 01:01:55,627 Dad, can you come here and help me? 704 01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:02,759 Remember that kid we saw the other day? 705 01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,220 He lives here. 706 01:02:05,555 --> 01:02:08,014 If the kid's here, the parents got to be. 707 01:02:08,641 --> 01:02:10,016 He's home alone. 708 01:02:18,276 --> 01:02:20,402 What? You want to come back tonight? 709 01:02:20,611 --> 01:02:21,987 Even with the kid here? 710 01:02:22,238 --> 01:02:24,364 I don't think that's a good idea. 711 01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:27,284 That house is the reason we worked this block. 712 01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:29,786 Ever since I saw that house, I wanted it. 713 01:02:30,204 --> 01:02:32,164 Let's take it one step at a time. 714 01:02:32,373 --> 01:02:36,918 We'll unload the van, get a bite to eat, we'll come back about 9:00. 715 01:02:37,211 --> 01:02:38,420 Nine o'clock. 716 01:02:38,629 --> 01:02:39,921 This way it's dark. 717 01:02:40,506 --> 01:02:43,216 Yeah, kids are scared of the dark. 718 01:02:43,426 --> 01:02:46,094 You're afraid of the dark too. You know you are. 719 01:02:47,597 --> 01:02:48,930 No, I'm not. 720 01:02:49,140 --> 01:02:51,016 - Yes, you are. - Not, not, not. 721 01:02:51,225 --> 01:02:52,392 You are so. 722 01:02:52,602 --> 01:02:54,603 Mom, where are you? 723 01:03:09,327 --> 01:03:10,577 Do you play? 724 01:03:11,245 --> 01:03:14,581 Do you want to try? Go ahead, try it. Try it! 725 01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:44,402 - Excuse me. - Yeah? 726 01:03:46,072 --> 01:03:47,656 Hey, nice shoes. 727 01:03:48,115 --> 01:03:49,616 Oh, thanks. 728 01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:53,286 Is he still here? It's really important that I see him. 729 01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:57,457 He's getting in his car. If you hurry, you can catch him. 730 01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:03,171 How low! Giving Kriss Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve! 731 01:04:03,381 --> 01:04:05,966 What's next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny? 732 01:04:06,175 --> 01:04:07,676 Santa, hold on. 733 01:04:10,012 --> 01:04:13,807 - Can I talk to you? - Make it quick. Santa's running late. 734 01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:16,434 I know you're not the real Santa Claus. 735 01:04:16,936 --> 01:04:20,397 What makes you say that? Just out of curiosity. 736 01:04:20,606 --> 01:04:24,109 - I'm old enough to know how it works. - All right. 737 01:04:24,277 --> 01:04:26,319 But I also know you work for him. 738 01:04:26,654 --> 01:04:29,489 - I'd like you to give him a message. - Shoot. 739 01:04:29,949 --> 01:04:34,703 Kevin McCallister, 671 Lincoln Blvd. Do you need the phone number? 740 01:04:35,037 --> 01:04:36,288 No, that's all right. 741 01:04:36,664 --> 01:04:38,415 This is extremely important. 742 01:04:38,666 --> 01:04:43,670 Please tell him instead of presents, I just want my family back. 743 01:04:44,213 --> 01:04:48,633 No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie and Jeff. 744 01:04:48,843 --> 01:04:50,886 And my aunt and my cousins. 745 01:04:51,137 --> 01:04:54,222 And if he has time, my Uncle Frank. Okay? 746 01:04:55,933 --> 01:04:57,142 Okay. 747 01:04:58,019 --> 01:05:00,312 - I'll see what I can do. - Thanks. 748 01:05:00,521 --> 01:05:05,066 Wait. My elf took the last of the candy canes home to her boyfriend. 749 01:05:05,359 --> 01:05:07,152 - That's okay. - No, don't be silly. 750 01:05:07,361 --> 01:05:10,238 Everybody who sees Santa has gotta get something. 751 01:05:10,448 --> 01:05:14,576 Here, hold out your little paw there. There you go. 752 01:05:15,077 --> 01:05:17,412 - Don't spoil your dinner. - I won't. 753 01:05:17,830 --> 01:05:19,247 Thanks. 754 01:05:30,468 --> 01:05:32,052 Son of a- - ! 755 01:08:29,438 --> 01:08:30,772 Merry Christmas. 756 01:08:33,359 --> 01:08:34,567 May I sit down? 757 01:08:45,955 --> 01:08:47,288 That's my granddaughter. 758 01:08:47,957 --> 01:08:49,874 The little red- haired girl. 759 01:08:51,877 --> 01:08:54,629 She's about your age. You know her? 760 01:08:54,797 --> 01:08:55,922 No. 761 01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:59,175 - You live next to me, don't you? - Yeah. 762 01:08:59,385 --> 01:09:02,929 You can say hello when you see me. You don't have to be afraid. 763 01:09:03,931 --> 01:09:08,893 There's a lot of things going around about me, but none of it's true. Okay? 764 01:09:09,728 --> 01:09:11,729 - You've been good this year? - I think so. 765 01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:13,731 You swear to it? 766 01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:15,150 No. 767 01:09:15,401 --> 01:09:19,988 Yeah. Well, this is the place to be if you're feeling bad about yourself. 768 01:09:20,406 --> 01:09:23,032 - It is? - I think so. 769 01:09:23,242 --> 01:09:25,827 - Are you feeling bad about yourself? - No. 770 01:09:30,291 --> 01:09:34,794 I've been kind of a pain lately. I said some things I shouldn't have. 771 01:09:35,546 --> 01:09:38,214 I really haven't been too good this year. 772 01:09:38,841 --> 01:09:39,883 Yeah. 773 01:09:40,050 --> 01:09:43,303 I'm kind of upset because I really like my family. 774 01:09:43,512 --> 01:09:48,433 Even though sometimes I say I don't. Sometimes I even think I don't. 775 01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:51,477 - Do you get that? - I think so. 776 01:09:51,937 --> 01:09:54,772 How you feel about your family is a complicated thing. 777 01:09:55,024 --> 01:09:57,442 Especially with an older brother. 778 01:09:58,194 --> 01:10:00,528 Deep down, you'll always love them. 779 01:10:00,738 --> 01:10:05,033 But you can forget that you love them. You can hurt them, they can hurt you. 780 01:10:05,242 --> 01:10:07,660 And that's not just because you're young. 781 01:10:09,371 --> 01:10:12,081 You want to know the real reason why I'm here? 782 01:10:12,291 --> 01:10:13,541 Sure. 783 01:10:14,001 --> 01:10:17,795 I came to hear my granddaughter sing. I can't come hear her tonight. 784 01:10:18,380 --> 01:10:19,464 You have plans? 785 01:10:19,882 --> 01:10:21,716 No. 786 01:10:21,884 --> 01:10:23,218 I'm not welcome. 787 01:10:24,011 --> 01:10:25,220 At church? 788 01:10:25,471 --> 01:10:27,555 You're always welcome at church. 789 01:10:27,765 --> 01:10:29,849 I'm not welcome with my son. 790 01:10:31,310 --> 01:10:35,063 Years back, before you and your family moved on the block... 791 01:10:35,814 --> 01:10:37,482 ...I had an argument with my son. 792 01:10:38,275 --> 01:10:39,317 How old is he? 793 01:10:39,652 --> 01:10:41,194 He's grown up. 794 01:10:42,571 --> 01:10:47,242 We lost our tempers, and I said I didn't care to see him anymore. 795 01:10:47,743 --> 01:10:52,080 He said the same, and we haven't spoken to each other since. 796 01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:55,500 If you miss him, why don't you call him? 797 01:10:56,126 --> 01:10:58,253 I'm afraid if I call, he won't talk to me. 798 01:10:58,504 --> 01:11:00,004 How do you know? 799 01:11:01,006 --> 01:11:03,675 I don't know. I'm just afraid he won't. 800 01:11:04,510 --> 01:11:07,512 No offense, but aren't you a little old to be afraid? 801 01:11:08,889 --> 01:11:11,057 You can be old for a lot of things. 802 01:11:11,267 --> 01:11:14,060 - You're never too old to be afraid. - That's true. 803 01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:16,187 I was afraid of our basement. 804 01:11:16,397 --> 01:11:19,691 It's dark. There's weird stuff down there, and it smells funny. 805 01:11:19,900 --> 01:11:23,361 That sort of thing. It's bothered me for years. 806 01:11:23,737 --> 01:11:24,904 Basements are like that. 807 01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:28,616 I made myself go down to do some laundry... 808 01:11:28,826 --> 01:11:30,952 ...and I found out it's not so bad. 809 01:11:31,203 --> 01:11:35,790 I worried about it, but if you turn on the lights, it's no big deal. 810 01:11:36,083 --> 01:11:37,125 What's your point? 811 01:11:37,584 --> 01:11:40,336 My point is, you should call your son. 812 01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:44,048 - What if he won't talk to me? - At least you'll know. 813 01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:48,636 Then you could stop worrying about it. You won't have to be afraid anymore. 814 01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:54,350 No matter how mad I was, I'd talk to my dad. Especially around the holidays. 815 01:11:56,103 --> 01:11:57,687 I don't know. 816 01:11:57,896 --> 01:12:00,815 Just give it a shot. For your granddaughter anyway. 817 01:12:01,066 --> 01:12:04,235 I'm sure she misses you. And the presents. 818 01:12:04,945 --> 01:12:06,279 I send her a check. 819 01:12:06,989 --> 01:12:10,575 I wish my grandparents did that. They always send me clothes. 820 01:12:10,784 --> 01:12:13,619 Last year I got a sweater with a bird knitted on it. 821 01:12:13,871 --> 01:12:14,912 Oh, that's nice. 822 01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:17,248 Not for a guy in the second grade. 823 01:12:17,458 --> 01:12:20,084 You can get beat up for wearing something like that. 824 01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:23,504 I have a friend who got nailed... 825 01:12:23,714 --> 01:12:26,591 ...because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas. 826 01:12:27,718 --> 01:12:31,971 You better run home where you belong. Think about what I said. 827 01:12:32,389 --> 01:12:33,765 - All right? - Okay. 828 01:12:34,558 --> 01:12:35,725 It's nice talking to you. 829 01:12:36,894 --> 01:12:38,644 Nice talking to you. 830 01:12:44,902 --> 01:12:46,986 - What about you? - Me? 831 01:12:47,654 --> 01:12:49,155 Yeah. You and your son. 832 01:12:51,116 --> 01:12:52,992 We'll see what happens. 833 01:12:54,286 --> 01:12:55,536 Merry Christmas. 834 01:12:56,747 --> 01:12:58,664 Merry Christmas. 835 01:13:50,551 --> 01:13:54,178 This is my house. I have to defend it. 836 01:15:22,017 --> 01:15:25,269 We'll check it out. We can come back for the truck. 837 01:15:33,529 --> 01:15:34,654 How do we go in? 838 01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:38,199 We'll go to the back door. Maybe he'll let us in. 839 01:15:38,408 --> 01:15:41,786 Yeah, he's a kid. Kids are stupid. 840 01:15:43,830 --> 01:15:47,792 Bless this nutritious, microwaveable macaroni and cheese dinner... 841 01:15:48,001 --> 01:15:50,795 ...and the people who sold it on sale. Amen. 842 01:16:15,862 --> 01:16:18,531 This is it. Don't get scared now. 843 01:16:31,753 --> 01:16:34,422 Merry Christmas, little fella. 844 01:16:35,340 --> 01:16:40,011 We know that you're in there and that you're all alone. 845 01:16:40,554 --> 01:16:42,847 Yeah, come on, kid. Open up. 846 01:16:43,765 --> 01:16:46,392 It's Santy Claus and his elf. 847 01:16:48,854 --> 01:16:50,062 We won't hurt you. 848 01:16:50,731 --> 01:16:54,150 No, no. Got some nice presents for you. 849 01:16:54,484 --> 01:16:58,154 Be a good little fella now and open the door. 850 01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:04,118 What? 851 01:17:05,954 --> 01:17:07,955 What? What? 852 01:17:08,665 --> 01:17:09,707 What? 853 01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:12,376 - What happened? - Get that little- - 854 01:17:23,889 --> 01:17:25,306 Hello. 855 01:17:31,021 --> 01:17:33,397 Yes! Yes! 856 01:17:33,607 --> 01:17:35,107 The little jerk is armed! 857 01:17:35,317 --> 01:17:39,528 That's it! I'm going in the front. You go down the basement! 858 01:18:41,883 --> 01:18:44,093 That smart aleck! 859 01:20:12,349 --> 01:20:16,894 Oh, boy. That's it, you little- - You little- - 860 01:20:17,854 --> 01:20:20,064 No, not this time, you little brat. 861 01:20:23,401 --> 01:20:26,278 You little creep, where are you? 862 01:20:50,220 --> 01:20:51,637 Yes! 863 01:21:25,380 --> 01:21:27,172 - - rip his head off- - ! 864 01:21:37,058 --> 01:21:38,475 You're dead, kid. 865 01:22:25,982 --> 01:22:28,692 Where are you, you little creep? 866 01:22:44,918 --> 01:22:47,628 Harry, I'm coming in! 867 01:22:52,300 --> 01:22:54,343 Oh, no! I'm really scared. 868 01:22:54,594 --> 01:22:58,389 It's too late for you, kid, we're in the house. We're gonna get you. 869 01:22:58,640 --> 01:23:00,724 Okay, come and get me! 870 01:23:01,101 --> 01:23:02,226 Why, you- - ! 871 01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:10,025 Now you're dead! 872 01:23:35,802 --> 01:23:38,303 I'm gonna kill that kid! 873 01:23:53,319 --> 01:23:55,487 - Marv. - Harry? 874 01:23:55,822 --> 01:23:57,573 Why'd you take your shoes off? 875 01:23:58,116 --> 01:23:59,825 Why are you dressed like a chicken? 876 01:24:01,828 --> 01:24:05,205 I'm up here, you morons. Come and get me. 877 01:24:08,626 --> 01:24:11,879 You guys give up, or are you thirsty for more? 878 01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:23,098 Heads up! 879 01:24:26,186 --> 01:24:28,645 Don't worry, Marv. I'll get him for you. 880 01:24:32,817 --> 01:24:34,485 Yes! 881 01:24:39,032 --> 01:24:41,325 He's only a kid, Harry. We can take him. 882 01:24:41,493 --> 01:24:44,578 Shut up, will you? What is it? 883 01:24:44,829 --> 01:24:46,955 You're missing some teeth. 884 01:24:47,165 --> 01:24:49,333 Where? It's my gold tooth. 885 01:24:49,542 --> 01:24:52,503 My gold tooth. I'll kill him. I'll kill him! 886 01:24:54,839 --> 01:24:57,049 You bomb me with one more can, kid... 887 01:24:57,342 --> 01:25:01,512 ...and I'll snap off your cojones and boil them in motor oil! 888 01:25:04,933 --> 01:25:06,058 911 emergency. 889 01:25:06,267 --> 01:25:08,102 Hello, my house is being robbed. 890 01:25:08,353 --> 01:25:13,023 My address is 656 Lincoln Boulevard. My name is Murphy. 891 01:25:16,528 --> 01:25:17,945 You never know what's there. 892 01:25:19,072 --> 01:25:20,697 There he is! 893 01:25:25,620 --> 01:25:27,287 I got you! I got him, Harry. 894 01:25:29,082 --> 01:25:30,374 I got him. 895 01:25:31,501 --> 01:25:32,793 Harry, give me a hand! 896 01:25:36,172 --> 01:25:38,090 I got him! 897 01:25:38,258 --> 01:25:39,591 Harry, help me. Get up! 898 01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:42,427 I got him. 899 01:26:22,135 --> 01:26:23,427 What are you doing? 900 01:26:24,262 --> 01:26:26,847 Harry, don't move. 901 01:26:27,098 --> 01:26:28,182 Marv? 902 01:26:28,433 --> 01:26:30,767 Don't move. 903 01:26:31,269 --> 01:26:32,811 What are you doing? 904 01:26:37,567 --> 01:26:39,234 Did I get him? 905 01:26:39,694 --> 01:26:41,069 Did I get him? 906 01:26:41,446 --> 01:26:43,530 Where is it? Where is it? 907 01:26:43,740 --> 01:26:47,367 Never mind that. Here! How do you like it, huh? You jerk! 908 01:26:47,577 --> 01:26:50,454 Get that kid, before I- - Get that kid! 909 01:27:17,106 --> 01:27:18,398 Where'd he go? 910 01:27:19,067 --> 01:27:21,151 Maybe he committed suicide. 911 01:27:21,486 --> 01:27:26,281 Down here, you big horse's ass! Come get me before I call the police. 912 01:27:26,491 --> 01:27:28,492 - Let's get him! - Wait, wait. 913 01:27:28,701 --> 01:27:30,577 It's just what he wants us to do: 914 01:27:30,787 --> 01:27:33,872 Go back through his fun house so we get all tore up. 915 01:27:34,082 --> 01:27:35,624 He's gonna call the cops! 916 01:27:35,833 --> 01:27:37,501 From a tree house? 917 01:27:37,752 --> 01:27:38,877 Come on. 918 01:27:40,129 --> 01:27:41,713 - Out the window? - Yeah. 919 01:27:41,881 --> 01:27:43,298 I'm not going out the window. 920 01:27:43,508 --> 01:27:47,511 Why, you scared? Are you afraid? Come on, get out here. 921 01:27:52,350 --> 01:27:53,684 Come on. 922 01:27:59,691 --> 01:28:01,191 Come on! 923 01:28:06,823 --> 01:28:10,075 - Come on. Keep going. - Let's go back, Harry. 924 01:28:15,707 --> 01:28:16,790 Shut it, Marv. 925 01:28:20,253 --> 01:28:21,295 Hey, guys! 926 01:28:21,879 --> 01:28:23,171 Check this out. 927 01:28:24,257 --> 01:28:25,966 Go back. Go back. 928 01:29:14,474 --> 01:29:15,849 There he is! 929 01:29:16,017 --> 01:29:18,101 Hey, I'm calling the cops! 930 01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:21,855 Wait, wait! He wants us to follow him. 931 01:29:22,106 --> 01:29:24,024 I got a better idea. Come on. 932 01:29:42,043 --> 01:29:43,251 Hi, pal. 933 01:29:43,669 --> 01:29:46,922 We outsmarted you this time. Get over here! 934 01:29:53,137 --> 01:29:54,304 What are you gonna do? 935 01:29:54,722 --> 01:29:56,765 I'll do exactly what he did to us. 936 01:29:56,974 --> 01:29:58,809 Burn his head with a blowtorch. 937 01:29:59,018 --> 01:30:01,019 I'll smash his face with an iron. 938 01:30:01,229 --> 01:30:04,064 I'd like to slap him in the face with a paint can! 939 01:30:04,273 --> 01:30:05,899 Shove a nail through his foot! 940 01:30:06,150 --> 01:30:11,029 I'm gonna bite off every one of these little fingers, one at a time. 941 01:30:20,331 --> 01:30:22,707 Come on. Let's get you home. 942 01:30:45,690 --> 01:30:48,400 Wow, this is great. 943 01:30:51,737 --> 01:30:54,030 Nice move, leaving the water running. 944 01:30:54,240 --> 01:30:58,076 Now we know each and every house that you've hit. 945 01:31:01,539 --> 01:31:04,207 We've been looking for you guys for a long time. 946 01:31:04,459 --> 01:31:07,335 Yeah. Well, remember, we're the Wet Bandits. 947 01:31:07,712 --> 01:31:11,715 - Wet Bandits, that's W- E- T- - - Shut up! Get in the car! 948 01:31:11,883 --> 01:31:13,508 Hey, come on. Come on. 949 01:31:14,302 --> 01:31:16,803 - Hands off the head, pal! - Come on. 950 01:32:12,401 --> 01:32:14,319 I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent. 951 01:32:14,570 --> 01:32:15,779 No, you're not. 952 01:32:15,947 --> 01:32:18,448 You're beating yourself up there. This happens. 953 01:32:18,658 --> 01:32:20,367 These things happen. 954 01:32:20,576 --> 01:32:24,454 You want to talk about bad parents? Look at us. 955 01:32:24,664 --> 01:32:29,417 We're on the road 48, 49 weeks a year. We hardly see our families. 956 01:32:30,127 --> 01:32:32,379 Joe, over there. Gosh, you know... 957 01:32:32,588 --> 01:32:35,423 ...he forgets his kids' names half the time. 958 01:32:35,633 --> 01:32:38,927 Ziggy over there, he's never even met his kid. 959 01:32:39,178 --> 01:32:42,931 Eddy.... Let's just hope none of them write a book about him. 960 01:32:44,058 --> 01:32:47,561 Tell me, have you gone on vacation and left your child home? 961 01:32:50,982 --> 01:32:52,357 No. 962 01:32:53,150 --> 01:32:56,027 But I did leave one at a funeral parlor once. 963 01:32:56,862 --> 01:33:00,115 Yeah, it was terrible too. I was all distraught and everything. 964 01:33:00,324 --> 01:33:04,578 The wife and I, we left the little tyke there in the funeral parlor. 965 01:33:04,829 --> 01:33:08,498 All day. You know, we went back at night, when we... 966 01:33:08,708 --> 01:33:10,959 ...came to our senses, there he was. 967 01:33:11,210 --> 01:33:14,337 Apparently, he was there all day with a corpse. 968 01:33:15,381 --> 01:33:18,675 He was okay. You know, after six, seven weeks. 969 01:33:18,884 --> 01:33:21,344 He came around and started talking again. 970 01:33:22,722 --> 01:33:25,724 They get over it. Kids are resilient like that. 971 01:33:25,933 --> 01:33:27,642 We shouldn't talk about this. 972 01:33:27,893 --> 01:33:32,022 - I was just trying to cheer you up. - I'm sorry I did. 973 01:33:58,299 --> 01:33:59,424 Mom? 974 01:34:04,597 --> 01:34:05,889 Mom? 975 01:34:09,935 --> 01:34:11,978 Mom? 976 01:34:58,317 --> 01:34:59,651 Kevin! 977 01:35:01,195 --> 01:35:02,320 Kevin! 978 01:35:33,686 --> 01:35:35,562 Merry Christmas, sweetheart. 979 01:35:44,989 --> 01:35:47,490 Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry. 980 01:36:07,428 --> 01:36:09,220 Where's everybody else? 981 01:36:09,930 --> 01:36:11,931 Oh, baby, they couldn't come. 982 01:36:12,141 --> 01:36:13,391 They wanted to so much- - 983 01:36:13,601 --> 01:36:18,062 I didn't fall asleep in the back and drool all over you, did I? 984 01:36:18,272 --> 01:36:20,607 - You do drool! - Shut up! 985 01:36:23,444 --> 01:36:27,071 Kevin, my boy. How are you? It's good to see you. 986 01:36:27,281 --> 01:36:29,032 You're all right. 987 01:36:29,533 --> 01:36:30,742 I love you. You okay? 988 01:36:32,411 --> 01:36:33,536 Hey, Kev. 989 01:36:35,873 --> 01:36:38,541 It's cool that you didn't burn the place down. 990 01:36:40,878 --> 01:36:42,337 Thanks, Buzz. 991 01:36:44,048 --> 01:36:46,049 Wait a minute. How'd you guys get home? 992 01:36:46,258 --> 01:36:48,760 On the morning flight you didn't want to wait for. 993 01:36:48,969 --> 01:36:52,222 - Oh, no. Thank you. - Merry Christmas. 994 01:36:52,431 --> 01:36:53,848 Merry Christmas. 995 01:36:54,475 --> 01:36:56,559 Someone has to find an open store. 996 01:36:56,769 --> 01:36:58,394 I went shopping yesterday. 997 01:37:01,065 --> 01:37:02,607 You, shopping? 998 01:37:02,900 --> 01:37:05,610 I got some milk, eggs and fabric softener. 999 01:37:07,571 --> 01:37:09,447 - What? - No kidding? 1000 01:37:09,657 --> 01:37:11,366 What a funny guy. 1001 01:37:11,575 --> 01:37:13,701 What else did you do while we were away? 1002 01:37:14,870 --> 01:37:17,121 Just hung around. 1003 01:37:19,208 --> 01:37:20,667 Bring your stuff upstairs. 1004 01:37:20,876 --> 01:37:25,421 Shopping? He doesn't know how to tie his shoe. He's going shopping? 1005 01:37:25,965 --> 01:37:28,633 This is not the Kevin I knew. 1006 01:37:52,241 --> 01:37:53,783 Honey, what's this? 1007 01:38:52,259 --> 01:38:55,678 Kevin! What did you do to my room?