0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Kunjungi www.Hokibet99.com Agen Judi Online Aman Terpercaya 1 00:00:21,757 --> 00:00:26,757 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:35,267 --> 00:00:37,768 When my dad saw my mom for the first time, 3 00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:40,236 there was no witty bio accompanying a flattering 4 00:00:40,238 --> 00:00:42,138 yet candid photo of her. 5 00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:45,308 She was just sitting on the bleachers on campus. 6 00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:46,376 And he knew right there and then 7 00:00:46,378 --> 00:00:49,048 that he was going to marry her. 8 00:00:53,284 --> 00:00:56,320 Because of that story combined with an unhealthy binge 9 00:00:56,322 --> 00:00:59,123 of Nora Ephron movies when I had mono in high school, 10 00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:01,891 I always wondered what my love story would be. 11 00:01:01,893 --> 00:01:03,726 Playing foosball in a shitty diner 12 00:01:03,728 --> 00:01:05,496 with a college bro from Tinder 13 00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:08,001 wasn't exactly what I had in mind. 14 00:01:10,102 --> 00:01:12,169 Do you have any siblings? 15 00:01:12,171 --> 00:01:15,272 I bet you if Harry met Sally in 2018 16 00:01:15,274 --> 00:01:16,341 That was fun. 17 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:20,146 They'd just end up as fuck buddies. 18 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,513 You wanna come over? 19 00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:23,981 I can't. 20 00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:25,348 I'm not gonna think you're a slut 21 00:01:25,350 --> 00:01:26,350 or whatever. 22 00:01:26,352 --> 00:01:27,284 I wasn't concerned about that, 23 00:01:27,286 --> 00:01:28,484 but thank you. 24 00:01:28,486 --> 00:01:29,853 Well then, what is it? 25 00:01:29,855 --> 00:01:33,157 I just don't wanna have sex with you right now. 26 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,190 Okay, but like, 27 00:01:34,192 --> 00:01:35,995 not right now or, like, generally? 28 00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:38,829 Do I wanna have sex with you generally? 29 00:01:38,831 --> 00:01:40,329 Yeah. 30 00:01:40,331 --> 00:01:41,532 Poor college guys. 31 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,166 God bless them. 32 00:01:43,168 --> 00:01:45,201 But they're so busy trying to catch up on what 33 00:01:45,203 --> 00:01:46,803 misconduct is, 34 00:01:46,805 --> 00:01:49,109 they don't even know how to go on a date. 35 00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:57,281 It's time to say goodbye to grand gestures. 36 00:01:57,283 --> 00:02:00,383 The grandest it gets these days is swiping right 37 00:02:00,385 --> 00:02:01,353 instead of left. 38 00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,353 As your local hopeless romantic, 39 00:02:04,355 --> 00:02:05,788 I am sad to report 40 00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:07,560 that romance is dead. 41 00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:15,364 Romance is dead. 42 00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:16,635 Yup. 43 00:02:18,469 --> 00:02:21,405 Okay, um, I'm gonna kill your column. 44 00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:22,471 What? Why? 45 00:02:22,473 --> 00:02:24,274 Because your love life is boring! 46 00:02:24,276 --> 00:02:25,441 That's not my fault! 47 00:02:25,443 --> 00:02:27,077 I am trying really hard out there. 48 00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:29,379 Hey, I personally really like the existential crisis 49 00:02:29,381 --> 00:02:31,048 with the philosophy major. 50 00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:32,448 Thanks, Winnie. 51 00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:33,684 It's a good column! 52 00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:34,917 It's just niche. 53 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:35,918 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 54 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:38,422 Plus, it gives the paper a female edge. 55 00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:39,923 Hm. Female, maybe. 56 00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:42,059 Edge, absolutely not. 57 00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:44,094 Your column is about as far away from the edge 58 00:02:44,096 --> 00:02:46,363 as a kid scared of heights. 59 00:02:46,365 --> 00:02:48,431 Good simile, Jacob. 60 00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:49,433 Alright, guys, stop fighting. 61 00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,435 I'm putting you on reviews. 62 00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:52,903 That's what you're doing now. 63 00:02:52,905 --> 00:02:55,272 The Jessers and Naples are playing, uh, at the Cavern, 64 00:02:55,274 --> 00:02:57,274 so go and tell me how it is. 65 00:02:57,276 --> 00:02:58,411 So that's it? 66 00:02:58,943 --> 00:03:00,010 I'm sorry! 67 00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:01,544 I'm sorry that the student body has lost interest 68 00:03:01,546 --> 00:03:02,812 in your love life. 69 00:03:02,814 --> 00:03:04,447 It kinda feels like maybe you've lost interest 70 00:03:04,449 --> 00:03:06,449 in your own love life, to be perfectly frank. 71 00:03:06,451 --> 00:03:07,750 I can make it better. 72 00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,722 I am gonna do something really awesome. 73 00:03:11,657 --> 00:03:12,655 Yeah, you are. 74 00:03:12,657 --> 00:03:13,656 In reviews. 75 00:03:13,658 --> 00:03:14,924 Maybe you're a critic! 76 00:03:14,926 --> 00:03:16,326 Maybe that's your thing. Sit down, please. 77 00:03:16,328 --> 00:03:17,327 - Winnie? - Mhm? 78 00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:18,461 Got something for you, LSD. 79 00:03:18,463 --> 00:03:20,930 The mice in our labs are being tested on 80 00:03:20,932 --> 00:03:22,566 by the med students. 81 00:03:22,568 --> 00:03:24,434 Animal rights people are gonna be fucking nuts about this. 82 00:03:24,436 --> 00:03:26,335 So maybe we write something about that. 83 00:03:26,337 --> 00:03:28,471 Such a waste of LSD. 84 00:03:28,473 --> 00:03:29,572 To me. 85 00:03:29,574 --> 00:03:30,473 That-that could be something! 86 00:03:30,475 --> 00:03:31,508 That could be something. 87 00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:32,508 Hey, it's not This American Life, 88 00:03:32,510 --> 00:03:33,744 but it's something. 89 00:03:33,746 --> 00:03:35,679 LSD, that's our target. 90 00:03:35,681 --> 00:03:37,748 Monday, see you guys all then. 91 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,485 I am going to the bar. 92 00:03:40,985 --> 00:03:41,984 Without my column, 93 00:03:41,986 --> 00:03:44,287 I'm just another Humanities major! 94 00:03:44,289 --> 00:03:47,092 I am facing years of rejection from unpaid internships. 95 00:03:47,359 --> 00:03:49,493 Come to Thailand with me! 96 00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:51,661 We need to find ourselves. 97 00:03:51,663 --> 00:03:54,298 I am not going to find myself on a mushroom trip 98 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,865 at a full moon party. 99 00:03:55,867 --> 00:03:57,934 That's literally where you find yourself. 100 00:03:57,936 --> 00:03:59,335 Well, is there a student loan 101 00:03:59,337 --> 00:04:01,338 that can pay for my flight to this party 102 00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:03,343 where I miraculously find myself? 103 00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:06,776 If they said your column was boring 104 00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:08,781 just make your column less boring. 105 00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:11,815 It's not that boring. 106 00:04:11,817 --> 00:04:13,118 It's not. 107 00:04:13,885 --> 00:04:16,990 You write a sex column with no sex. 108 00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:20,959 I do stuff. 109 00:04:23,028 --> 00:04:25,961 You've given, like, one hand-job 110 00:04:25,963 --> 00:04:27,733 in the last year to... 111 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:29,966 Who was it, again? 112 00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:31,737 The Spanish exchange student. 113 00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:33,836 God, he was really hot. 114 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,538 No, he wasn't. 115 00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:36,707 He was really intense. 116 00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,341 He was gross. 117 00:04:38,343 --> 00:04:39,709 I feel like there was a lot of potential 118 00:04:39,711 --> 00:04:41,510 with the philosophy major. 119 00:04:41,512 --> 00:04:42,512 No. 120 00:04:42,514 --> 00:04:44,413 He has tiny fingers. 121 00:04:44,415 --> 00:04:45,848 He'd hold a beer like this, 122 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,351 like a baby holding a bottle. 123 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:48,353 That's gross. 124 00:04:49,654 --> 00:04:50,922 I.D.? 125 00:04:58,730 --> 00:05:00,397 I need to see your I.D. 126 00:05:00,399 --> 00:05:01,401 Okay. 127 00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:04,735 A knight in shining armour isn't gonna come 128 00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:07,536 galloping into the frat party and ask you to the ball. 129 00:05:07,538 --> 00:05:08,774 He might. 130 00:05:09,574 --> 00:05:11,608 Can I just pay for this now? 131 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:12,608 Chill. 132 00:05:12,610 --> 00:05:13,610 Excuse me? 133 00:05:13,612 --> 00:05:15,178 We were here first. 134 00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:16,579 What are you twelve? 135 00:05:16,581 --> 00:05:17,546 What are you? 136 00:05:17,548 --> 00:05:18,548 Forty? 137 00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:19,548 I.D.? What? 138 00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:20,550 Thirty? 139 00:05:20,552 --> 00:05:22,385 Oh, I found it! 140 00:05:22,387 --> 00:05:23,786 I like your coat. 141 00:05:23,788 --> 00:05:25,057 Thanks. 142 00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,060 Okay, let's go. 143 00:05:29,093 --> 00:05:30,793 Can I get some rolling papers, too, please? 144 00:05:30,795 --> 00:05:32,064 6X? 145 00:06:24,149 --> 00:06:25,882 So what's the deal with this band? 146 00:06:25,884 --> 00:06:28,351 I heard the lead guitarist is pretty! 147 00:06:28,353 --> 00:06:31,687 Him and his man-bun were in my Intro to Psych class. 148 00:06:31,689 --> 00:06:33,289 I swear, if I'd had a pair of scissors, 149 00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:35,125 I would've cut the thing off. 150 00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:36,692 - Hi. - How are you? 151 00:06:36,694 --> 00:06:37,694 I.D's. 152 00:06:37,696 --> 00:06:39,198 Of course, obviously. 153 00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:41,701 - It's candy. - Uh oh. Yeah 154 00:06:43,401 --> 00:06:44,868 Should've saved ya a little lick. 155 00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:45,868 Bring enough to share around? 156 00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:46,870 I'm kidding. 157 00:06:46,872 --> 00:06:49,206 Depends on how the night goes. 158 00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:51,210 I'm just kidding, we're not doing that. 159 00:06:55,012 --> 00:06:56,378 Yeah, that isn't you. 160 00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:57,880 What're you talking about? 161 00:06:57,882 --> 00:06:58,882 Of course it's me! 162 00:06:58,884 --> 00:06:59,983 Yeah? What's your name? 163 00:06:59,985 --> 00:07:01,521 Blake Conway Wrong. 164 00:07:02,721 --> 00:07:04,521 Uh, that's weird. 165 00:07:04,523 --> 00:07:05,525 That is weird. 166 00:07:12,396 --> 00:07:13,730 Oh yeah, that's fine! You're okay? 167 00:07:13,732 --> 00:07:14,697 Yeah, that's fine. You go in. 168 00:07:14,699 --> 00:07:15,699 You're sure? 169 00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:16,899 I would be thrilled. 170 00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:19,034 I'll figure out where my I.D. went. 171 00:07:19,036 --> 00:07:20,202 Good luck. 172 00:07:20,204 --> 00:07:22,942 Yeah, I'llI'll find you somehow. 173 00:07:24,742 --> 00:07:25,742 Sorry! 174 00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:27,547 Can you write my review? 175 00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:00,743 Hello? 176 00:08:00,745 --> 00:08:02,548 Hi, um, Morgan? 177 00:08:03,615 --> 00:08:04,613 Yeah? 178 00:08:04,615 --> 00:08:06,615 Um, I have your driver's licence. 179 00:08:06,617 --> 00:08:08,485 I think that you have mine. 180 00:08:08,487 --> 00:08:09,652 What? 181 00:08:09,654 --> 00:08:11,587 I have your driver's licence. 182 00:08:24,802 --> 00:08:25,801 Hi. 183 00:08:25,803 --> 00:08:27,739 Hey, uh, this is yours. 184 00:08:28,807 --> 00:08:29,809 Oh! 185 00:08:30,809 --> 00:08:32,142 Weird. 186 00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:34,076 I think they switched them at the liquor store. 187 00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,614 Oh, that's funny. 188 00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:37,316 Come in. 189 00:08:40,118 --> 00:08:41,420 This is Bobby. 190 00:08:42,754 --> 00:08:44,820 He's not a very good dancer. 191 00:08:44,822 --> 00:08:46,022 That's not true. 192 00:08:46,024 --> 00:08:47,190 Hi. 193 00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,824 Hi, how's your night? 194 00:08:48,826 --> 00:08:50,026 Uh, good, thank you. 195 00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:51,493 Good. 196 00:08:51,495 --> 00:08:52,764 Good. 197 00:08:57,201 --> 00:08:58,200 Here you go. 198 00:08:58,202 --> 00:08:59,471 Thank you. 199 00:09:00,004 --> 00:09:01,871 You should stay. 200 00:09:01,873 --> 00:09:03,205 For a drink. 201 00:09:03,207 --> 00:09:05,842 The universe brought us all together. 202 00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:07,647 Gotta embrace that, right? 203 00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:10,647 Okay, sure. 204 00:09:10,649 --> 00:09:11,650 I'll have a drink. 205 00:09:12,517 --> 00:09:13,819 - Cheers. - Cheers. 206 00:09:19,024 --> 00:09:20,022 Do you have to pee? 207 00:09:20,024 --> 00:09:21,293 I have to pee. 208 00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:25,163 I could pee. 209 00:09:26,865 --> 00:09:28,067 Yeah, let's pee. 210 00:09:29,868 --> 00:09:31,137 Team sport? 211 00:09:43,081 --> 00:09:44,748 You're really pretty. 212 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,849 Do you know that? 213 00:09:46,851 --> 00:09:48,853 I feel like you don't know that. 214 00:09:49,888 --> 00:09:50,889 Thanks. 215 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,493 It's important for a girl to know how pretty she is. 216 00:09:55,693 --> 00:09:56,693 Why? 217 00:09:56,695 --> 00:09:58,497 Because that's how you find them. 218 00:09:59,063 --> 00:10:00,332 Find what? 219 00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:07,706 Your powers. 220 00:10:12,744 --> 00:10:14,513 He'll pay you to stay. 221 00:10:15,746 --> 00:10:17,280 Oh, I'm 222 00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:18,748 Oh, or you don't have to take money, or anything. 223 00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:20,783 I know some girls are weird with that. 224 00:10:20,785 --> 00:10:22,986 No, um, I'm sorry. 225 00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:23,987 I'm not 226 00:10:23,989 --> 00:10:24,990 Not what? 227 00:10:26,323 --> 00:10:27,759 A prostitute. 228 00:10:29,794 --> 00:10:34,397 I'm not a prostitute, babe. 229 00:10:34,399 --> 00:10:36,402 I'm just trying to cut you into a deal. 230 00:10:37,969 --> 00:10:38,971 It'll be fun. 231 00:10:40,105 --> 00:10:41,740 You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. 232 00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:44,940 I don't think I can. 233 00:10:44,942 --> 00:10:46,745 I have early class in the morning. 234 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:49,981 I get it! 235 00:10:51,015 --> 00:10:52,784 It's not for everyone. 236 00:10:55,253 --> 00:10:56,489 Come on. 237 00:10:59,957 --> 00:11:01,192 Miss me? 238 00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:03,792 I always miss you, babe. 239 00:11:03,794 --> 00:11:04,796 Okay, thanks! 240 00:11:06,998 --> 00:11:07,997 Yeah, bye! 241 00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:09,999 Bye. 242 00:11:10,802 --> 00:11:12,801 How'd you get so warm? 243 00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,829 You should've stayed. 244 00:11:39,831 --> 00:11:41,030 Yeah, I totally should've stayed 245 00:11:41,032 --> 00:11:42,802 and had sex with two strangers for some cash. 246 00:11:43,301 --> 00:11:45,033 Was she a sugar baby? 247 00:11:45,035 --> 00:11:47,536 They're fucking everywhere these days. 248 00:11:47,538 --> 00:11:48,537 Really? 249 00:11:48,539 --> 00:11:50,039 Mm. 250 00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:52,041 School's so fucking expensive, that's why. 251 00:11:52,043 --> 00:11:52,908 Makes sense. 252 00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:54,844 That's really sad. 253 00:11:56,847 --> 00:11:57,980 Anyone want coffee? 254 00:11:57,982 --> 00:11:58,982 I wanna dance. 255 00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:00,349 Hey, you got scissors? 256 00:12:00,351 --> 00:12:01,886 Yeah, somewhere. 257 00:12:02,553 --> 00:12:04,052 Young girls are prostituting themselves 258 00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:05,088 to pay for school. 259 00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:06,689 You're so dramatic. 260 00:12:06,691 --> 00:12:08,060 It is dramatic! 261 00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:12,328 I think hookers are kinda badass. 262 00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:14,333 Yeah, hookers are super badass, Nikki. 263 00:12:15,066 --> 00:12:16,166 They're in charge of their own bodies! 264 00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,368 Their pimps are in charge of their bodies. 265 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:19,868 Oh, yeah. 266 00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:22,070 I totally forgot about the pimps. 267 00:12:22,072 --> 00:12:23,071 Well, if there were no pimps, 268 00:12:23,073 --> 00:12:24,541 then hookers would be badass. 269 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:25,908 Sugar babies don't have pimps. 270 00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:27,946 Well, then sugar babies are badass. 271 00:12:29,346 --> 00:12:31,350 Something interesting happened to me! 272 00:12:32,082 --> 00:12:33,348 Oh, really? Good. 273 00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:34,883 I want my column back. 274 00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:36,084 Oh, you want your column back? 275 00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:38,387 Uh, did you even go to the concert? 276 00:12:38,389 --> 00:12:39,388 Your review? 277 00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:40,890 You didn't even mention the music. 278 00:12:40,892 --> 00:12:43,696 You just described people in line for two paragraphs. 279 00:12:44,361 --> 00:12:45,361 I was totally there. 280 00:12:45,363 --> 00:12:46,362 Oh, yeah. 281 00:12:46,364 --> 00:12:48,131 Well, look, it looks like you got their facts 282 00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:49,531 off of Instagram. 283 00:12:49,533 --> 00:12:52,901 The last two lines were just hashtags and gibberish. 284 00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:54,903 You are so out of touch. 285 00:12:54,905 --> 00:12:56,908 All we really care about are hashtags. 286 00:12:58,109 --> 00:12:59,142 Oh, I'm out of touch? 287 00:12:59,144 --> 00:13:00,142 Am I like a fossil? 288 00:13:00,144 --> 00:13:01,143 I'm 23 years old! 289 00:13:01,145 --> 00:13:02,411 By the way, 23 290 00:13:02,413 --> 00:13:04,414 is perfectly fine age to still be in college. 291 00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:05,915 Winnie! 292 00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:06,916 There you go! Oh my god! 293 00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:08,117 - Is this for me? - Yeah! 294 00:13:08,119 --> 00:13:09,118 Look at that! 295 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,118 She's so good. 296 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,119 You made him that? 297 00:13:11,121 --> 00:13:13,122 Yeah! 298 00:13:13,124 --> 00:13:14,123 We are not your interns! 299 00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:15,123 Aren't you? 300 00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:16,124 I am not an intern! 301 00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:17,128 I'm a foam artist. 302 00:13:17,928 --> 00:13:19,762 Hey, man, I just wanted to say to you, 303 00:13:19,764 --> 00:13:23,166 I really, really loved what you did with the Plan B article. 304 00:13:23,168 --> 00:13:24,499 Oh, yeah! It's so refreshing 305 00:13:24,501 --> 00:13:25,234 to have a male perspective on birth control. 306 00:13:25,236 --> 00:13:26,236 Oh, thank you! 307 00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:27,570 Thank you, man, I appreciate that! 308 00:13:27,572 --> 00:13:29,137 I'm totally down to write your reference letter 309 00:13:29,139 --> 00:13:30,138 for the Thompson Award. Oh, really? 310 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:31,943 - Thank you! - No problem. 311 00:13:32,644 --> 00:13:35,143 Wait, you're applying to that award? 312 00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:36,147 Yeah. 313 00:13:37,148 --> 00:13:38,414 You don't write gonzo. 314 00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:41,416 You write pretentious political satire. 315 00:13:41,418 --> 00:13:44,119 Actually, I write both. 316 00:13:44,121 --> 00:13:45,121 Stephen Hawking. 317 00:13:45,123 --> 00:13:46,122 - Good! - Thank you. 318 00:13:46,124 --> 00:13:47,757 Since when? 319 00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:49,961 Since I don't only write for the school paper, so. 320 00:13:51,162 --> 00:13:53,161 You can't write him a reference letter. 321 00:13:53,163 --> 00:13:54,162 You're not a faculty member. 322 00:13:54,164 --> 00:13:55,433 He's TA, it counts. 323 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:58,166 Well, can you write me a reference letter? 324 00:14:02,173 --> 00:14:04,607 This looks like a conflict of interest. 325 00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:06,110 Hard pass, thanks. 326 00:14:07,144 --> 00:14:09,177 The Thompson Award is for gonzo journalism? 327 00:14:09,179 --> 00:14:10,512 Yeah, and? 328 00:14:10,514 --> 00:14:12,248 And you don't write gonzo, 329 00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:14,383 so you just want it for the prize money? 330 00:14:14,385 --> 00:14:16,486 Oh, right, and you don't want the prize money at all? 331 00:14:16,488 --> 00:14:17,487 No, I do. 332 00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:18,488 It's fifty thousand dollars. 333 00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:20,256 That's the only reason why I'm applying. 334 00:14:20,258 --> 00:14:21,259 Story ideas! 335 00:14:22,059 --> 00:14:23,228 His, thank you! 336 00:14:24,195 --> 00:14:26,061 If the writer is a part of the story, 337 00:14:26,063 --> 00:14:27,430 then it is gonzo. 338 00:14:27,432 --> 00:14:29,098 The writer can't be a part of the story. 339 00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:30,903 The writer has to become the story! 340 00:14:31,235 --> 00:14:33,268 Well, it's like those vice journalists 341 00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:34,903 who did ayahuasca in Peru. 342 00:14:34,905 --> 00:14:35,939 - Oh! - Yeah! 343 00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:36,940 I loved that writing! 344 00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:38,273 That was so sick! 345 00:14:38,275 --> 00:14:40,910 My stories are about me! 346 00:14:40,912 --> 00:14:42,844 So you're the type of writer that writes about people 347 00:14:42,846 --> 00:14:44,680 describing doing ayahuasca? 348 00:14:44,682 --> 00:14:46,081 Like, you wouldn't actually do it yourself? 349 00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,886 I would totally do ayahuasca. 350 00:14:50,054 --> 00:14:51,753 If there wasn't so much puking. 351 00:14:51,755 --> 00:14:54,290 See, you're an omniscient narrator in denial. 352 00:14:54,292 --> 00:14:55,525 That doesn't even mean anything. 353 00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:57,859 You just like the way that that sounds. 354 00:14:57,861 --> 00:14:59,295 I have a story, 355 00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:01,531 and-and it is a sexy story, 356 00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,733 so all of those horny college kids 357 00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:04,733 are really gonna like it. 358 00:15:04,735 --> 00:15:06,069 And when you read it, 359 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,204 you're gonna wanna give me my column back. 360 00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:10,209 So, get ready because... 361 00:15:12,309 --> 00:15:15,046 Of all of the things that I just said! 362 00:15:19,149 --> 00:15:21,283 Oh, well that's over. 363 00:15:21,285 --> 00:15:22,285 What is love? 364 00:15:22,287 --> 00:15:23,788 What is it good for? 365 00:15:44,609 --> 00:15:46,108 I can change your name for the piece, 366 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,310 if you want me to. 367 00:15:47,312 --> 00:15:49,315 Why would I want you to change my name? 368 00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:53,252 Well, my column is anonymous anyway, so. 369 00:15:54,318 --> 00:15:55,318 Why? 370 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,122 It gives me more freedom. 371 00:15:58,822 --> 00:16:00,422 Doesn't sound like freedom. 372 00:16:00,424 --> 00:16:04,262 It just makes it easier to write sometimes. 373 00:16:07,831 --> 00:16:09,134 Okay. 374 00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:14,337 I have made sixty-seven thousand dollars in gifts. 375 00:16:14,339 --> 00:16:16,339 I've gotten a Gucci bag, 376 00:16:16,341 --> 00:16:18,174 a Balenciaga bag, 377 00:16:18,176 --> 00:16:19,541 a Louis Vuitton bag. 378 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,547 I've gone to Paris twice this year. 379 00:16:23,014 --> 00:16:24,147 Whoa. 380 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,982 Am I a prostitute? 381 00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,219 No. 382 00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:29,388 Am I a gold digger? 383 00:16:30,154 --> 00:16:31,521 Maybe. 384 00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:34,456 Am I having a better time than all these girls 385 00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:36,658 stuck in mountains of debt? 386 00:16:36,660 --> 00:16:38,460 Who get nothing more than a pregnancy scare 387 00:16:38,462 --> 00:16:39,462 from their one night stands? 388 00:16:39,464 --> 00:16:41,000 Most definitely. 389 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,366 Oh, here. 390 00:16:43,368 --> 00:16:44,636 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah. 391 00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,645 Do you ever feel taken advantage of? 392 00:16:58,383 --> 00:17:00,185 Not really, it's business. 393 00:17:01,385 --> 00:17:02,887 Business can be messy. 394 00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:05,057 Yeah, but 395 00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:06,658 I'm really good at it. 396 00:17:08,226 --> 00:17:09,225 How? 397 00:17:09,227 --> 00:17:11,030 I know what they want. 398 00:17:11,362 --> 00:17:12,898 And what is that? 399 00:17:14,398 --> 00:17:15,363 Their ego stroked. 400 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,841 You just have to figure out 401 00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,676 how they work. 402 00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:30,412 And once you do, you can get whatever you want. 403 00:17:30,414 --> 00:17:31,916 And what do you want? 404 00:17:34,251 --> 00:17:36,288 Everything, I guess. 405 00:17:38,455 --> 00:17:39,889 You know, I'm actually going to meet Bobby 406 00:17:39,891 --> 00:17:42,225 at his friend's lake house. 407 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,459 You wanna come? 408 00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:45,230 Sounds like the beginning of a horror movie. 409 00:18:15,993 --> 00:18:17,795 So how do you know Bobby? 410 00:18:18,496 --> 00:18:20,997 Oh, he was one of my MBA students. 411 00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:22,698 You're a professor? 412 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,503 Yeah, is that surprising? 413 00:18:25,502 --> 00:18:26,568 No. 414 00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:28,304 I guess I've just never seen a prof 415 00:18:28,306 --> 00:18:29,771 in a bathing suit before. 416 00:18:29,773 --> 00:18:30,773 Here you go. 417 00:18:30,775 --> 00:18:32,007 Thanks. 418 00:18:32,009 --> 00:18:33,311 What's your major? 419 00:18:34,511 --> 00:18:35,780 Useless. 420 00:18:40,351 --> 00:18:41,620 So are you gonna get in? 421 00:18:42,319 --> 00:18:44,123 Uh, I didn't bring a bathing suit. 422 00:18:45,490 --> 00:18:47,390 Well, I don't wanna leave you 423 00:18:47,392 --> 00:18:49,324 on dry land all by yourself. 424 00:18:49,326 --> 00:18:50,328 Why? 425 00:18:51,028 --> 00:18:53,528 I can rate your handstands out of ten. 426 00:18:53,530 --> 00:18:55,163 Yeah. 427 00:18:55,165 --> 00:18:56,565 I think you can tell a lot about a person 428 00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:59,371 by the way they get into a pool. 429 00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:01,804 He didn't dive, 430 00:19:01,806 --> 00:19:03,538 so not a show off. 431 00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:05,309 I guess the view and the house did that for him. 432 00:19:06,344 --> 00:19:08,044 You should come in! 433 00:19:08,046 --> 00:19:10,046 I'm not usually one to be tempted by houses, 434 00:19:10,048 --> 00:19:11,546 or views, or pools. 435 00:19:11,548 --> 00:19:14,217 He was hot and I was stoned. 436 00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,552 Uh, I don't know. 437 00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:16,553 And there was something about him 438 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,187 that I couldn't put my finger on. 439 00:19:18,189 --> 00:19:20,555 So, what the hell? 440 00:19:20,557 --> 00:19:21,826 I went in. 441 00:19:35,573 --> 00:19:37,573 So what's your story? 442 00:19:52,589 --> 00:19:55,091 Uh, I'd like to see you again. 443 00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:56,394 Oh. 444 00:19:57,528 --> 00:19:59,530 If that's something that you wanted. 445 00:20:00,298 --> 00:20:01,599 Here's my card. 446 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:03,565 I didn't know people actually 447 00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:04,967 carried around business cards. 448 00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:07,103 I mean, I didn't have it on me 449 00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:08,638 in the pool or anything. 450 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,640 I have a stack and I just 451 00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:12,607 I like this font. 452 00:20:12,609 --> 00:20:14,543 Yeah it's DIN Condensed. 453 00:20:14,545 --> 00:20:15,644 Nice. 454 00:20:15,646 --> 00:20:16,711 Yeah. 455 00:20:16,713 --> 00:20:18,447 Thanks. 456 00:20:18,449 --> 00:20:19,448 This is pretty 457 00:20:20,451 --> 00:20:21,987 Pretty sweet too. 458 00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:29,458 He's into arrangements. 459 00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:30,996 I could say something. 460 00:20:32,596 --> 00:20:33,828 Please don't. 461 00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:35,634 He's written like five books. 462 00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:37,435 Really? 463 00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:39,471 What about? 464 00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,307 I don't know. I haven't read them. 465 00:20:52,282 --> 00:20:53,582 Yeah. 466 00:20:53,584 --> 00:20:54,917 Yeah Blake, I like it. 467 00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:56,651 I like it. It's very Zeitgeisty. 468 00:20:56,653 --> 00:20:58,286 So can I have my column back? 469 00:20:58,288 --> 00:21:01,093 So, uh, you gonna date this guy? 470 00:21:02,292 --> 00:21:03,292 No. 471 00:21:03,294 --> 00:21:04,660 So-so, I'm sorry, 472 00:21:04,662 --> 00:21:06,161 where is this story going? 473 00:21:06,163 --> 00:21:07,496 I don't know how my life is going to evolve 474 00:21:07,498 --> 00:21:08,631 between now and my next entry. 475 00:21:08,633 --> 00:21:09,664 That's not how a column works. 476 00:21:09,666 --> 00:21:11,633 Well how journalism works is 477 00:21:11,635 --> 00:21:13,302 you-you follow the story, 478 00:21:13,304 --> 00:21:14,503 not your feelings. 479 00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:16,037 I followed her to a stranger's lake house. 480 00:21:16,039 --> 00:21:17,038 I could have been murdered. 481 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:18,507 I'm sorry. 482 00:21:18,509 --> 00:21:20,508 'Cause it sort of read like you went to a pool party. 483 00:21:20,510 --> 00:21:21,876 Where I was solicited! 484 00:21:21,878 --> 00:21:23,679 You got hit on. 485 00:21:23,681 --> 00:21:26,282 Uh, being solicited is not the story. 486 00:21:26,284 --> 00:21:27,519 'Kay? It's just the first part. 487 00:21:28,385 --> 00:21:30,186 What happens afterwards, that's the story. 488 00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:31,990 Are you trying to pimp me out? 489 00:21:33,490 --> 00:21:35,123 Um, am I? No. 490 00:21:35,125 --> 00:21:37,392 No, III wanted to kill your column. 491 00:21:37,394 --> 00:21:39,061 You're the-you're the one who wanted to make it interesting. 492 00:21:39,063 --> 00:21:41,130 It's going to be more interesting. 493 00:21:41,132 --> 00:21:43,899 Whether or not you force me to date the guy. 494 00:21:43,901 --> 00:21:45,401 Oh, ho ho, no, I forced 495 00:21:45,403 --> 00:21:47,702 I'm not forcing you to date anyone, okay? 496 00:21:47,704 --> 00:21:49,572 But you are saying you'll give me back my column 497 00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:50,573 if I date him. 498 00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:51,841 No! No, no, no. 499 00:21:51,843 --> 00:21:53,542 You can not, no, have the column back, please. 500 00:21:53,544 --> 00:21:54,910 This is not a, not a 501 00:21:54,912 --> 00:21:55,911 This is not a thing, 502 00:21:55,913 --> 00:21:57,278 you can just take it. 503 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,849 I am too close to graduating for this shit. 504 00:21:59,851 --> 00:22:02,054 I'm not going out like that. 505 00:22:06,590 --> 00:22:08,790 The hopeless romantic is back baby! 506 00:22:08,792 --> 00:22:11,227 More hopeful, less romantic. 507 00:22:11,229 --> 00:22:12,561 That's awesome, dude. 508 00:22:12,563 --> 00:22:13,629 Yeah, thanks. 509 00:22:13,631 --> 00:22:15,434 I feel like I've grown from this already. 510 00:22:16,634 --> 00:22:17,767 Your professor sounds hot. 511 00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:21,136 Hmm, he's not hot hot, 512 00:22:21,138 --> 00:22:22,805 but he is kinda charming. 513 00:22:22,807 --> 00:22:24,076 So, he's fat? 514 00:22:24,942 --> 00:22:26,211 He's not fat. 515 00:22:27,444 --> 00:22:28,978 He's basically famous. 516 00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:32,148 He's written a bunch of books 517 00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:35,584 for like technology and business. 518 00:22:35,586 --> 00:22:36,786 So he's boring? 519 00:22:36,788 --> 00:22:37,788 He's rich. 520 00:22:38,256 --> 00:22:39,889 He invested in Facebook and Uber 521 00:22:39,891 --> 00:22:41,891 when they were just starting. 522 00:22:41,893 --> 00:22:43,793 So why aren't you going to call him again? 523 00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,827 So why aren't you more focused on your costume? 524 00:22:45,829 --> 00:22:47,832 The options here are pretty limitless. 525 00:22:49,066 --> 00:22:50,302 Tadah! 526 00:22:50,768 --> 00:22:51,767 What is that? 527 00:22:51,769 --> 00:22:54,236 It's Sassy Red Riding Hood! 528 00:22:54,238 --> 00:22:55,671 You look like a used tampon. 529 00:22:55,673 --> 00:22:56,671 What? 530 00:22:56,673 --> 00:22:58,477 Your legs are the string. 531 00:22:58,809 --> 00:23:00,776 I'm not lowering myself to your level. 532 00:23:00,778 --> 00:23:02,780 You're lowering it to my crotch level. 533 00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:08,083 Sexy gothic Red Riding Hood? 534 00:23:08,085 --> 00:23:09,818 What's wrong with the shoulders? 535 00:23:09,820 --> 00:23:11,589 You look like you're storing snacks in there. 536 00:23:12,990 --> 00:23:15,794 Red Riding From The Hood. 537 00:23:17,862 --> 00:23:18,864 No. 538 00:23:19,663 --> 00:23:21,029 Well what are you supposed to be? 539 00:23:21,031 --> 00:23:23,466 A manic pixie dream girl? 540 00:23:23,468 --> 00:23:24,467 Yeah. 541 00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:25,468 Sure. 542 00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:26,701 I still don't understand 543 00:23:26,703 --> 00:23:28,136 why there's a Halloween party in April. 544 00:23:28,138 --> 00:23:29,440 Oh! 545 00:23:30,106 --> 00:23:32,540 Why didn't they just call it a costume party? 546 00:23:32,542 --> 00:23:34,346 'Cause then it's not Halloween. 547 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,682 I'm gonna get these glasses. 548 00:23:38,715 --> 00:23:40,017 Eh. 549 00:23:51,061 --> 00:23:52,329 Hey Blake! 550 00:23:52,730 --> 00:23:53,731 Hey Emily! 551 00:23:54,298 --> 00:23:56,030 Cool costume. 552 00:23:56,032 --> 00:23:57,799 Are you a ballerina? 553 00:23:57,801 --> 00:23:58,836 A loofah. 554 00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:01,673 You look like my dad on vacation. 555 00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:04,375 I'm Raoul Duke. 556 00:24:04,741 --> 00:24:06,475 From Fear and Loathing. 557 00:24:06,477 --> 00:24:07,476 Oh! 558 00:24:07,478 --> 00:24:08,712 Oh, yeah, um 559 00:24:09,713 --> 00:24:11,680 I loved your last column. 560 00:24:11,682 --> 00:24:13,582 I don't write a column. 561 00:24:13,584 --> 00:24:14,850 So, whatever. 562 00:24:14,852 --> 00:24:16,086 Okay. 563 00:24:17,521 --> 00:24:19,523 Dr. Phil did an episode on sugar babies. 564 00:24:20,924 --> 00:24:23,392 Was it a hard hitting expose? 565 00:24:23,394 --> 00:24:24,893 Oh yeah. I love Dr. Phil. 566 00:24:24,895 --> 00:24:27,699 I feel like I have so many things to tell him. 567 00:24:29,767 --> 00:24:31,199 Yeah. 568 00:24:55,893 --> 00:24:57,927 It appears we have yet another common interest. 569 00:24:57,929 --> 00:24:58,930 Oh god. 570 00:24:59,596 --> 00:25:01,529 Want to take a shot? 571 00:25:01,531 --> 00:25:02,766 Yes. 572 00:25:05,635 --> 00:25:07,638 I didn't touch my lips to it. 573 00:25:12,309 --> 00:25:14,742 I didn't take you as a Hunter Thompson fan. 574 00:25:14,744 --> 00:25:17,779 He's the very godfather of Gonzo journalism. 575 00:25:17,781 --> 00:25:19,213 Did you just say fairy godfather? 576 00:25:19,215 --> 00:25:21,316 No. I said very godfather! 577 00:25:21,318 --> 00:25:22,317 No, you said fairy. 578 00:25:22,319 --> 00:25:23,821 Very. Fairy. 579 00:25:25,455 --> 00:25:27,259 Want to take another shot? 580 00:25:27,924 --> 00:25:29,123 Yeah. 581 00:25:29,125 --> 00:25:31,128 Do you want to go somewhere private? 582 00:25:34,131 --> 00:25:35,634 You're so dumb. 583 00:25:39,804 --> 00:25:41,603 You know you're way off about me? 584 00:25:41,605 --> 00:25:42,671 Okay. 585 00:25:42,673 --> 00:25:43,972 I like Hunter Thompson. 586 00:25:43,974 --> 00:25:45,173 Mmm. 587 00:25:45,175 --> 00:25:46,174 He's not my favourite writer though. 588 00:25:46,176 --> 00:25:47,676 Who's your favourite writer? 589 00:25:47,678 --> 00:25:48,747 Don't tell me! 590 00:25:49,980 --> 00:25:51,113 Jane Austen. 591 00:25:51,115 --> 00:25:52,851 Maybe when I was 15. 592 00:25:53,851 --> 00:25:56,051 It's Nora Ephron. 593 00:25:56,053 --> 00:25:57,856 What is that, Zac Efron's mom? 594 00:25:58,888 --> 00:26:00,891 She's the queen of the romantic comedy. 595 00:26:01,625 --> 00:26:03,025 "When Harry Met Sally", 596 00:26:03,027 --> 00:26:04,026 "Sleepless in Seattle" 597 00:26:04,028 --> 00:26:05,827 Okay. I liked those. Those are good. 598 00:26:05,829 --> 00:26:06,828 I know yours. 599 00:26:06,830 --> 00:26:07,997 I don't have a favourite writer. Witkowski. 600 00:26:07,999 --> 00:26:09,530 How'd you do that? 601 00:26:09,532 --> 00:26:10,966 You want to take another shot? 602 00:26:10,968 --> 00:26:12,003 Yep. 603 00:26:14,005 --> 00:26:15,004 You okay? 604 00:26:15,006 --> 00:26:16,872 Yeah. 605 00:26:33,156 --> 00:26:35,159 I like your room. I like it. 606 00:26:36,059 --> 00:26:37,660 That means a lot to me. 607 00:26:37,662 --> 00:26:38,896 Is that weird? 608 00:26:48,071 --> 00:26:49,270 You okay? 609 00:26:49,272 --> 00:26:51,373 Yeah. I'm okay. Are you okay? 610 00:26:51,375 --> 00:26:52,373 Yeah, no, I'm good. 611 00:26:52,375 --> 00:26:54,179 Okay. You look good. 612 00:27:02,686 --> 00:27:04,254 Do you have a condom? 613 00:27:05,189 --> 00:27:06,458 I think so. 614 00:27:15,598 --> 00:27:16,900 Um 615 00:27:25,142 --> 00:27:27,910 I thought it was in my pencil case. 616 00:27:27,912 --> 00:27:29,143 Why do you have a pencil case? 617 00:27:29,145 --> 00:27:30,714 For pencils. 618 00:27:31,414 --> 00:27:32,951 In case. 619 00:27:40,490 --> 00:27:41,957 Okay. 620 00:27:41,959 --> 00:27:43,961 I don't have a condom. 621 00:28:06,450 --> 00:28:08,253 I should go. 622 00:28:08,986 --> 00:28:11,620 But this is your room. 623 00:28:11,622 --> 00:28:13,020 Oh. 624 00:28:13,022 --> 00:28:15,524 Well should I go? Want me to go? 625 00:28:15,526 --> 00:28:16,525 I mean, should I go? 626 00:28:16,527 --> 00:28:18,192 Uh yeah, I think so. 627 00:28:18,194 --> 00:28:19,463 Okay. 628 00:28:29,539 --> 00:28:31,542 Are you wearing my pants? 629 00:28:38,449 --> 00:28:39,448 You can't print it. 630 00:28:39,450 --> 00:28:41,115 You can't not print it. Can't. 631 00:28:41,117 --> 00:28:43,184 Okay, usually I'm totally against, uh, 632 00:28:43,186 --> 00:28:45,888 these sort of workplace romances, 633 00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:47,823 but this is hilarious, Blake. 634 00:28:47,825 --> 00:28:48,990 It's not funny to me man, alright? 635 00:28:48,992 --> 00:28:50,191 I changed your name! 636 00:28:50,193 --> 00:28:52,227 Nobody is gonna know that it's you! 637 00:28:52,229 --> 00:28:53,228 - I don't care. - I do! 638 00:28:53,230 --> 00:28:54,496 You two were the only people 639 00:28:54,498 --> 00:28:56,698 that dressed like Raoul Duke at the party so. 640 00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:57,699 You were there? 641 00:28:57,701 --> 00:28:59,504 Yeah, I have Snapchat. 642 00:29:00,203 --> 00:29:02,571 You were the one who told me to become the story. 643 00:29:02,573 --> 00:29:03,639 I became the story. 644 00:29:03,641 --> 00:29:04,672 I'm sorry! 645 00:29:04,674 --> 00:29:06,475 I didn't realize you were so sensitive. 646 00:29:06,477 --> 00:29:09,076 I'm not, sensitive. 647 00:29:09,078 --> 00:29:10,077 I'm private. 648 00:29:10,079 --> 00:29:11,078 I'm not 649 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,046 not like a sensitive dude. 650 00:29:12,048 --> 00:29:13,047 Hey man, I'm sorry, 651 00:29:13,049 --> 00:29:14,315 I'm gonna have to post it. 652 00:29:14,317 --> 00:29:15,651 Why? 653 00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:17,318 Because, uh, for better or for worse, 654 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:22,024 the hopeless romantic is dragging in all the hits. 655 00:29:22,026 --> 00:29:23,491 Really? 656 00:29:23,493 --> 00:29:24,860 Keep your shirt on. You're not winning a Pulitzer. 657 00:29:24,862 --> 00:29:26,929 It's-it's not moving papers. 658 00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:28,697 It's just, it's doing well on the website, 659 00:29:28,699 --> 00:29:32,500 and I have to do what's best for the paper and or website. 660 00:29:32,502 --> 00:29:35,437 I hope this isn't awkward between us. 661 00:29:35,439 --> 00:29:38,539 It most certainly is going to be. 662 00:29:38,541 --> 00:29:40,542 Do you want my advice? 663 00:29:40,544 --> 00:29:43,077 Don't make out with journalists. 664 00:29:43,079 --> 00:29:44,848 Or Instagram models. 665 00:29:48,285 --> 00:29:50,151 He's arrogant. 666 00:29:50,153 --> 00:29:53,287 He can't stand that I'm thriving. 667 00:29:53,289 --> 00:29:55,489 It's man problem. That's what they do. 668 00:29:55,491 --> 00:29:56,592 Can't handle the strong woman. 669 00:29:56,594 --> 00:29:58,727 He's kinda tall, so I don't get it. 670 00:29:58,729 --> 00:30:00,461 Is he tall? 671 00:30:00,463 --> 00:30:01,496 Yeah. 672 00:30:01,498 --> 00:30:03,231 Usually short guys are really insecure. 673 00:30:03,233 --> 00:30:04,498 Little man syndrome? Yeah! 674 00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:05,769 Yeah. 675 00:30:06,903 --> 00:30:09,304 Oh my god, oh my god. 676 00:30:09,306 --> 00:30:10,671 Oh my god, just keep walking. 677 00:30:10,673 --> 00:30:12,274 Keep walking. 678 00:30:12,276 --> 00:30:13,674 The guy, Ian. 679 00:30:13,676 --> 00:30:15,110 He's over there. Where? Where? 680 00:30:15,112 --> 00:30:16,745 Oh, no, no, no. Look to there. 681 00:30:16,747 --> 00:30:17,746 Can you see him? 682 00:30:17,748 --> 00:30:19,284 Do I look cute? 683 00:30:22,586 --> 00:30:24,018 Do I wave, or is that weird? 684 00:30:24,020 --> 00:30:26,023 I don't know. Oh my god, we waved. 685 00:30:26,423 --> 00:30:28,123 No, don't wave again. 686 00:30:28,125 --> 00:30:29,123 Flash your tit. 687 00:30:29,125 --> 00:30:31,325 No. 688 00:30:41,704 --> 00:30:43,508 Screw it. 689 00:30:46,977 --> 00:30:48,142 If I want to win the award, 690 00:30:48,144 --> 00:30:49,311 I have to do ayahuasca. 691 00:30:49,313 --> 00:30:51,546 Wait, when are you doing ayahuasca? 692 00:30:51,548 --> 00:30:52,546 I'm not, it's a metaphor. 693 00:30:52,548 --> 00:30:53,715 Because if you do it without me, 694 00:30:53,717 --> 00:30:56,218 I'm gonna be really pissed. 695 00:30:56,220 --> 00:30:57,221 And surprised. 696 00:30:58,321 --> 00:30:59,823 And hurt. 697 00:31:01,392 --> 00:31:03,025 Eventually I'd be happy for you. 698 00:31:03,027 --> 00:31:04,660 Again, I'm not gonna do ayahuasca without you. 699 00:31:04,662 --> 00:31:05,963 Just 700 00:31:07,298 --> 00:31:09,197 make sure he doesn't 701 00:31:09,199 --> 00:31:11,065 take advantage of you or anything. 702 00:31:11,067 --> 00:31:12,334 Yeah, of course. 703 00:31:12,336 --> 00:31:15,871 If anything, I am the one taking advantage of him. 704 00:31:15,873 --> 00:31:16,872 How? 705 00:31:16,874 --> 00:31:18,373 Because I'm not really a sugar baby. 706 00:31:18,375 --> 00:31:21,343 You're actually kinda like pretty woman. 707 00:31:21,345 --> 00:31:22,846 But in reverse. 708 00:31:23,646 --> 00:31:26,815 Just make me look classy. 709 00:31:26,817 --> 00:31:29,017 Like Michelle Obama. 710 00:31:36,226 --> 00:31:37,495 Hi. 711 00:31:38,228 --> 00:31:40,031 Should we go in? 712 00:31:43,267 --> 00:31:45,834 Why don't you have a girlfriend? 713 00:31:45,836 --> 00:31:47,235 They're free. 714 00:31:47,237 --> 00:31:49,237 Not really. And, 715 00:31:49,239 --> 00:31:50,439 I don't know what she wants. 716 00:31:50,441 --> 00:31:52,407 She probably doesn't even know what she wants. 717 00:31:52,409 --> 00:31:53,441 And I don't want to spend my time 718 00:31:53,443 --> 00:31:55,445 texting or fighting 719 00:31:56,846 --> 00:31:58,615 or compromising. 720 00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:02,019 So. 721 00:32:03,921 --> 00:32:06,287 How do you want this to work? 722 00:32:06,289 --> 00:32:09,123 I don't want to write cheques 723 00:32:09,125 --> 00:32:10,124 or anything like that. 724 00:32:10,126 --> 00:32:12,294 I kinda wanna give gifts. 725 00:32:12,296 --> 00:32:13,594 Gifts. 726 00:32:13,596 --> 00:32:14,865 Yeah. 727 00:32:16,299 --> 00:32:17,399 Like purses? 728 00:32:17,401 --> 00:32:18,933 Sure. 729 00:32:18,935 --> 00:32:20,938 If that's what you want. Yeah. 730 00:32:22,638 --> 00:32:24,541 It's not what I want. 731 00:32:26,376 --> 00:32:28,145 I didn't think so. 732 00:32:29,613 --> 00:32:32,383 So, what do you want? 733 00:32:36,487 --> 00:32:37,755 Romance. 734 00:32:41,090 --> 00:32:42,657 Wealthy older people 735 00:32:42,659 --> 00:32:44,625 supporting struggling younger ones 736 00:32:44,627 --> 00:32:46,094 is nothing revolutionary. 737 00:32:46,096 --> 00:32:48,330 Read any Jane Austen novel. 738 00:32:48,332 --> 00:32:50,332 Granted Austen's heroines always rebelled 739 00:32:50,334 --> 00:32:53,334 against this concept in search for romantic love, 740 00:32:53,336 --> 00:32:57,171 but financially beneficial relationships were the norm. 741 00:32:57,173 --> 00:32:59,908 A female's attraction to a male's display of resources 742 00:32:59,910 --> 00:33:02,510 is ingrained in many species, 743 00:33:02,512 --> 00:33:05,316 from humans to apes to cats. 744 00:33:06,083 --> 00:33:07,748 Female leopards can actually tell whether or not a male 745 00:33:07,750 --> 00:33:10,518 is capable of providing her with what she needs. 746 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:11,920 If she determines that he isn't capable 747 00:33:11,922 --> 00:33:14,355 of taking care of her, 748 00:33:14,357 --> 00:33:16,190 she has the ability to make herself less fertile. 749 00:33:16,192 --> 00:33:17,959 So the question is, 750 00:33:17,961 --> 00:33:20,996 why does our society hate gold diggers? 751 00:33:20,998 --> 00:33:23,765 Are we repulsed by our own natural instincts? 752 00:33:23,767 --> 00:33:26,535 Maybe relationships aren't supposed to be for love, 753 00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:28,338 but for survival. 754 00:33:39,549 --> 00:33:41,016 There's a sound quality to records 755 00:33:41,018 --> 00:33:44,986 that is completely lost with CDs or MP3s 756 00:33:44,988 --> 00:33:49,059 or whatever the kids are listening to these days. 757 00:33:50,059 --> 00:33:52,227 Sometimes I just like the sound 758 00:33:52,229 --> 00:33:54,930 in between the songs, you know? 759 00:33:54,932 --> 00:33:56,933 I like the way that the covers look. 760 00:34:01,571 --> 00:34:02,572 Yeah. 761 00:34:05,776 --> 00:34:08,579 Should have known you'd be a record guy. 762 00:34:09,947 --> 00:34:12,414 Well, I was born in the 70s, 763 00:34:12,416 --> 00:34:15,617 so I hope it's not so obnoxious, right? 764 00:34:15,619 --> 00:34:16,621 Right. 765 00:34:21,625 --> 00:34:23,191 What's with the piano? 766 00:34:23,193 --> 00:34:24,429 Do you play? 767 00:34:25,295 --> 00:34:28,099 Uh. It's my ex. 768 00:34:30,534 --> 00:34:32,534 Your ex is a piano? 769 00:34:32,536 --> 00:34:35,539 No. She's a human. Bitch. 770 00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:39,710 She's really good at playing the piano. 771 00:34:49,119 --> 00:34:51,119 Do you wanna listen to this one next? 772 00:34:51,121 --> 00:34:52,423 Sure. 773 00:34:53,489 --> 00:34:56,224 I don't think I've ever listened to this one. 774 00:36:24,914 --> 00:36:26,717 Where is my bike? 775 00:36:49,606 --> 00:36:51,509 You had sex! 776 00:36:55,378 --> 00:36:56,614 What? 777 00:36:57,581 --> 00:36:59,581 You had sex. 778 00:36:59,583 --> 00:37:01,749 - What are you talking about? - Come on! 779 00:37:01,751 --> 00:37:03,554 How did you know? 780 00:37:04,855 --> 00:37:06,623 I felt the energy change. 781 00:37:08,025 --> 00:37:09,260 So? 782 00:37:10,427 --> 00:37:11,425 How was it? 783 00:37:11,427 --> 00:37:12,963 It was 784 00:37:13,764 --> 00:37:15,032 Nice. 785 00:37:15,766 --> 00:37:17,465 It was nice? 786 00:37:17,467 --> 00:37:19,269 Yeah it was nice. 787 00:37:20,070 --> 00:37:22,936 So? What did you get for the romp sesh? 788 00:37:22,938 --> 00:37:24,472 Earrings? 789 00:37:24,474 --> 00:37:25,472 Purse? 790 00:37:25,474 --> 00:37:26,474 An iPod? 791 00:37:26,476 --> 00:37:27,474 A gift card? 792 00:37:27,476 --> 00:37:28,776 Got nothing. A Starbucks's gift card? 793 00:37:28,778 --> 00:37:30,979 Oh, I got Gatorade. 794 00:37:30,981 --> 00:37:32,414 That's it? 795 00:37:32,416 --> 00:37:34,652 Oh and my bike got stolen. 796 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,686 Wait, doesn't he live in that 797 00:37:38,688 --> 00:37:39,854 nice neighbourhood by the water? 798 00:37:39,856 --> 00:37:40,854 Yeah. 799 00:37:40,856 --> 00:37:42,626 Crime knows no bounds. 800 00:37:47,697 --> 00:37:49,831 This is for you, 801 00:37:49,833 --> 00:37:51,601 and this is also for you. 802 00:37:52,869 --> 00:37:54,836 And the last thing 803 00:37:54,838 --> 00:37:56,606 is too big to bring up. 804 00:37:57,673 --> 00:37:59,777 I'll just get my shoes. 805 00:38:04,514 --> 00:38:05,813 Is that? 806 00:38:05,815 --> 00:38:07,882 A sex moped. 807 00:38:07,884 --> 00:38:09,316 A hoeped. 808 00:38:09,318 --> 00:38:10,621 Oh my god! 809 00:38:18,027 --> 00:38:19,829 What does it say? 810 00:38:21,498 --> 00:38:23,733 Sorry I stole your bike. 811 00:38:26,702 --> 00:38:29,737 Hey, Conrad here and today, 812 00:38:29,739 --> 00:38:32,874 I'm gonna show you how to ride a moped! 813 00:38:32,876 --> 00:38:34,378 Conrad's kinda cute. 814 00:38:35,579 --> 00:38:37,144 Kinda. 815 00:38:37,146 --> 00:38:38,146 Hold this. 816 00:38:38,148 --> 00:38:39,146 To be honest. 817 00:38:39,148 --> 00:38:41,384 I mean, you just turn the key. 818 00:38:44,054 --> 00:38:45,822 Check your mirror. 819 00:38:48,724 --> 00:38:49,923 Looking good. 820 00:38:49,925 --> 00:38:51,226 Pass me my helmet. 821 00:38:51,228 --> 00:38:52,927 You gotta kick up the kickstand. 822 00:38:52,929 --> 00:38:55,095 Hold on, Conrad's bike won't start. 823 00:38:55,097 --> 00:38:57,398 And you know, um, 824 00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,532 you know, hopefully 825 00:38:58,534 --> 00:38:59,700 Conrad, why did you post this? 826 00:39:01,605 --> 00:39:02,673 Get on! 827 00:39:08,577 --> 00:39:10,114 I feel dangerous. 828 00:39:11,547 --> 00:39:13,550 Cartilage piercing dangerous. 829 00:39:13,916 --> 00:39:16,083 It's not that dangerous. 830 00:39:16,085 --> 00:39:17,084 You ready? 831 00:39:17,086 --> 00:39:18,952 Take that bow off! 832 00:39:35,972 --> 00:39:37,771 Ah! Oh my god! 833 00:39:37,773 --> 00:39:39,541 Take my picture! 834 00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:40,775 Oh my god! 835 00:39:40,777 --> 00:39:42,443 Ow! Why?! 836 00:39:42,445 --> 00:39:43,912 Ow! 837 00:39:43,914 --> 00:39:45,112 Does it look cool? 838 00:39:45,114 --> 00:39:46,616 Uh, yeah. 839 00:39:46,916 --> 00:39:47,916 There's a little bit of 840 00:39:47,918 --> 00:39:49,416 - of blood. - What? 841 00:39:49,418 --> 00:39:50,584 But don't touch it, don't touch it. 842 00:39:50,586 --> 00:39:52,119 How am I going to wear my bike helmet? 843 00:40:06,969 --> 00:40:08,772 What happened to your ear? 844 00:40:09,271 --> 00:40:11,074 I got my cartilage pierced. 845 00:40:12,007 --> 00:40:13,407 Looks like it hurt. 846 00:40:13,409 --> 00:40:14,644 It doesn't. 847 00:40:33,864 --> 00:40:35,095 Are you still pissed off with me 848 00:40:35,097 --> 00:40:37,034 because you fit in my pants? 849 00:40:37,867 --> 00:40:39,936 That's not why I'm pissed off. 850 00:40:40,503 --> 00:40:41,806 So you are mad. 851 00:40:42,271 --> 00:40:44,040 So now you're applying? 852 00:40:46,175 --> 00:40:47,978 I was always applying. 853 00:40:57,019 --> 00:40:58,052 Hold on. 854 00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:07,498 Does he know? 855 00:41:08,063 --> 00:41:09,863 That I'm applying for an award? 856 00:41:09,865 --> 00:41:12,202 That you're writing about him to win an award. 857 00:41:14,403 --> 00:41:15,905 I changed his name. 858 00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:17,740 So no. 859 00:41:21,878 --> 00:41:23,146 Nice ride. 860 00:41:23,847 --> 00:41:24,845 Thanks. 861 00:41:24,847 --> 00:41:26,650 How'd you pay for it? 862 00:41:29,885 --> 00:41:30,887 'Kay, bye. 863 00:42:16,766 --> 00:42:19,936 I thought of something that I want. 864 00:42:20,436 --> 00:42:21,739 Oh yeah? 865 00:42:22,938 --> 00:42:24,741 What do you want? 866 00:42:25,942 --> 00:42:28,945 I'm applying for an award and I need a reference letter. 867 00:42:32,081 --> 00:42:33,349 What's the award for? 868 00:42:35,184 --> 00:42:36,186 Journalism. 869 00:42:38,153 --> 00:42:39,923 You're in it-you're in it for the money, aren't you? 870 00:42:44,193 --> 00:42:45,760 But if I win, 871 00:42:45,762 --> 00:42:47,998 I get a bunch of cash and I can pay off my debt. 872 00:42:50,599 --> 00:42:53,266 You know, I could help you with that, 873 00:42:53,268 --> 00:42:55,038 if that's something that you wanted. 874 00:42:55,438 --> 00:42:56,974 Thought you didn't write checks. 875 00:42:58,608 --> 00:43:01,010 Well, I'd consider it an investment. 876 00:43:03,679 --> 00:43:07,481 You're the only person that would invest in journalism. 877 00:43:07,483 --> 00:43:09,987 Well, I wouldn't be investing in journalism, 878 00:43:11,186 --> 00:43:12,455 I'd be investing in you. 879 00:43:18,193 --> 00:43:20,029 What's in it for you? 880 00:43:21,898 --> 00:43:22,967 This. 881 00:43:27,369 --> 00:43:29,172 You can think about it. 882 00:43:32,708 --> 00:43:34,010 And the letter? 883 00:43:36,646 --> 00:43:38,479 Why don't you write it out 884 00:43:38,481 --> 00:43:40,017 and then I'll sign it. 885 00:43:42,217 --> 00:43:45,521 Okay, so do you wanna read a writing sample or something? 886 00:43:48,891 --> 00:43:50,258 Sure. 887 00:43:50,260 --> 00:43:51,592 So I'll email it. 888 00:43:51,594 --> 00:43:54,228 Yeah, you can email it, great. 889 00:43:54,230 --> 00:43:55,599 Or I can print it. 890 00:43:57,032 --> 00:43:58,032 Whatever's easier. 891 00:43:58,034 --> 00:43:59,032 I'llI'll email it. 892 00:43:59,034 --> 00:44:00,034 I'll PDF it. 893 00:44:00,036 --> 00:44:02,438 Yeah, PDF it, for sure. 894 00:44:04,173 --> 00:44:06,541 A mutually beneficial relationship. 895 00:44:06,543 --> 00:44:07,945 I was a sugar baby. 896 00:44:09,179 --> 00:44:10,945 If you just saw us drinking in some park 897 00:44:10,947 --> 00:44:13,246 like we were in some frigging French film, 898 00:44:13,248 --> 00:44:18,052 or eating tiny, fancy food in some tiny, fancy restaurant, 899 00:44:18,054 --> 00:44:21,289 or holding hands and coffees in sweater weather, 900 00:44:21,291 --> 00:44:22,856 and some upbeat love song played 901 00:44:22,858 --> 00:44:25,258 over what we were actually saying, 902 00:44:25,260 --> 00:44:28,262 it would appear that we were falling in love. 903 00:44:28,264 --> 00:44:30,130 He didn't play games. 904 00:44:30,132 --> 00:44:32,300 He called when he said he would, 905 00:44:32,302 --> 00:44:34,635 and made concrete plans in advance. 906 00:44:34,637 --> 00:44:37,271 It was chivalry at its finest. 907 00:44:37,273 --> 00:44:39,106 Perhaps romance wasn't dead, 908 00:44:39,108 --> 00:44:41,641 it was just hiding out in another dimension, 909 00:44:41,643 --> 00:44:43,244 a world where social interaction 910 00:44:43,246 --> 00:44:45,479 was actually a transaction, 911 00:44:45,481 --> 00:44:47,115 and going to the theatre was something 912 00:44:47,117 --> 00:44:48,919 I did on a Saturday night. 913 00:44:49,318 --> 00:44:50,385 The truth is, 914 00:44:50,387 --> 00:44:52,385 while I ate my overpriced Gummi Bears 915 00:44:52,387 --> 00:44:54,588 he brought me during intermission, 916 00:44:54,590 --> 00:44:56,393 I felt like a goddamn lady. 917 00:45:12,175 --> 00:45:14,307 I bet you she doesn't even like him. 918 00:45:14,309 --> 00:45:16,079 Do you like every guy you've hooked up with? 919 00:45:16,813 --> 00:45:18,412 I stayed with Tom because we were in the middle 920 00:45:18,414 --> 00:45:20,818 of Stranger Things and I don't have Netflix. 921 00:45:22,684 --> 00:45:24,552 It's not really the same thing. 922 00:45:24,554 --> 00:45:27,191 He bought her a scooter for having sex with him. 923 00:45:32,528 --> 00:45:33,797 Hey. 924 00:45:34,530 --> 00:45:35,798 Hey. 925 00:45:51,213 --> 00:45:52,750 You're not a hooker. 926 00:45:53,416 --> 00:45:56,349 But I don't know what being a hooker feels like. 927 00:45:56,351 --> 00:45:58,586 What if it feels just like this? 928 00:45:58,588 --> 00:45:59,586 How do you feel? 929 00:45:59,588 --> 00:46:00,857 I feel fine. 930 00:46:01,490 --> 00:46:04,191 Good, like, really good. 931 00:46:04,193 --> 00:46:05,392 That might just be the cupcakes. 932 00:46:05,394 --> 00:46:07,228 Can't believe you made these. 933 00:46:07,230 --> 00:46:08,595 Since when do you bake? 934 00:46:08,597 --> 00:46:09,866 I got bored. 935 00:46:11,067 --> 00:46:12,568 Then I got bored when I was baking, 936 00:46:13,369 --> 00:46:15,372 so I sprinkled in a bunch of Molly! 937 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:18,708 Ha ha. 938 00:46:19,576 --> 00:46:21,077 No, I did, for real. 939 00:46:21,677 --> 00:46:22,913 No. 940 00:46:23,713 --> 00:46:25,412 No, Nikki! 941 00:46:25,414 --> 00:46:26,916 I can't have drugs! 942 00:46:27,382 --> 00:46:29,285 I'm emotionally unstable! 943 00:46:30,420 --> 00:46:31,418 Take it back. 944 00:46:31,420 --> 00:46:32,354 No. 945 00:46:32,356 --> 00:46:33,287 I have to make myself puke. 946 00:46:33,289 --> 00:46:34,621 No, no, no, no, don't throw it up. 947 00:46:34,623 --> 00:46:35,856 I hate puking. 948 00:46:35,858 --> 00:46:37,224 I should have got Jimmy as the roommate, 949 00:46:37,226 --> 00:46:38,394 Jimmy would have loved this. 950 00:46:46,268 --> 00:46:47,267 Hello. 951 00:46:47,269 --> 00:46:48,269 Hi. 952 00:46:48,271 --> 00:46:51,438 Uh, Bla, hey you, in the bathroom! 953 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,039 Your Uber Eats is here. 954 00:46:53,041 --> 00:46:54,441 What are you talking about? 955 00:46:54,443 --> 00:46:56,413 I can't afford Uber Eats. 956 00:46:59,148 --> 00:47:01,249 Hey, oh, you look really nice. 957 00:47:01,251 --> 00:47:02,717 What are you doing here? 958 00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,452 Um, do you wanna go to a wedding with me? 959 00:47:07,289 --> 00:47:08,289 I've never been to a wedding. 960 00:47:08,291 --> 00:47:09,824 - Me neither. - Really? 961 00:47:09,826 --> 00:47:11,157 Yeah, when is it? 962 00:47:11,159 --> 00:47:12,425 Now. 963 00:47:12,427 --> 00:47:13,561 Like, now now? 964 00:47:13,563 --> 00:47:14,561 Yeah. 965 00:47:14,563 --> 00:47:15,662 Sorry for the short notice, 966 00:47:15,664 --> 00:47:18,465 um I just hate going to these things alone. 967 00:47:18,467 --> 00:47:20,501 But I did get you this. 968 00:47:20,503 --> 00:47:21,568 Oh my god. 969 00:47:23,306 --> 00:47:24,304 Oh my god. 970 00:47:24,306 --> 00:47:25,907 Yeah, it's pretty sparkly. 971 00:47:25,909 --> 00:47:27,677 Oh! 972 00:47:28,478 --> 00:47:29,476 It's dangerous. 973 00:47:29,478 --> 00:47:31,278 It's stupid, sorry. 974 00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,447 Um, it's sparkly because the stones are so clear. 975 00:47:34,449 --> 00:47:37,253 I think they're only found in one place in the world. 976 00:47:38,954 --> 00:47:40,757 Are you gonna say your heart? 977 00:47:41,657 --> 00:47:43,293 No, South Africa. 978 00:47:44,427 --> 00:47:45,659 Close enough. 979 00:47:45,661 --> 00:47:47,762 So, are-are they blood diamonds? 980 00:47:47,764 --> 00:47:48,762 No. 981 00:47:48,764 --> 00:47:49,764 Are you sure? 982 00:47:49,766 --> 00:47:50,764 Yes. 983 00:47:50,766 --> 00:47:51,766 So no one died for them? 984 00:47:51,768 --> 00:47:54,601 No. Those are 100% organic, 985 00:47:54,603 --> 00:47:56,470 farm fresh, vegan diamonds. 986 00:47:56,472 --> 00:47:58,505 Okay, I'm gonna go get ready. 987 00:47:58,507 --> 00:47:59,441 Okay. 988 00:47:59,443 --> 00:48:00,340 Uh, uh, wear the pink dress. 989 00:48:00,342 --> 00:48:01,541 I don't have a pink dress. 990 00:48:01,543 --> 00:48:04,945 Yeah, the long one, pink, low. 991 00:48:04,947 --> 00:48:06,313 I had a blue one. 992 00:48:06,315 --> 00:48:07,315 It's mine, 993 00:48:07,317 --> 00:48:08,516 I'm trying to make you look good. 994 00:48:08,518 --> 00:48:10,150 - Oh, thank you so much. - You ruined it. 995 00:48:10,152 --> 00:48:11,519 Okay, I'll be really quick. 996 00:48:11,521 --> 00:48:12,522 Okay. 997 00:48:23,565 --> 00:48:26,032 So you guys have lived together for a while? 998 00:48:26,034 --> 00:48:29,737 Yeah, we were-we were um roommates in freshman year. 999 00:48:29,739 --> 00:48:32,639 We hated each other for the first few months, 1000 00:48:32,641 --> 00:48:34,543 then Philip Seymour Hoffman died. 1001 00:48:36,545 --> 00:48:37,813 Yeah. 1002 00:48:38,581 --> 00:48:44,150 Wow. Wow. Oh, wow, you look beautiful. 1003 00:48:44,152 --> 00:48:45,519 Thanks. 1004 00:48:45,521 --> 00:48:46,757 He stood up. 1005 00:48:57,199 --> 00:48:58,599 Wait, whose wedding is this? 1006 00:48:58,601 --> 00:49:00,369 Um, you met Bobby, right? 1007 00:49:02,005 --> 00:49:03,570 The guy from the pool? 1008 00:49:03,572 --> 00:49:04,572 Yeah. 1009 00:49:04,574 --> 00:49:05,572 He's getting married? 1010 00:49:05,574 --> 00:49:06,576 Yeah. 1011 00:49:26,795 --> 00:49:28,595 I take you 1012 00:49:28,597 --> 00:49:32,499 to be my lawfully wedded husband, 1013 00:49:32,501 --> 00:49:34,438 to have and to hold 1014 00:49:35,838 --> 00:49:37,341 from this day forward. 1015 00:49:38,141 --> 00:49:41,675 For better, for worse, 1016 00:49:41,677 --> 00:49:44,512 for richer, for poorer, 1017 00:49:44,514 --> 00:49:45,816 in sickness and in health 1018 00:49:46,748 --> 00:49:48,517 until death do us part. 1019 00:49:52,288 --> 00:49:54,021 Are you-are you okay? 1020 00:49:54,023 --> 00:49:55,623 I'm on drugs. 1021 00:49:55,625 --> 00:49:57,657 Oh, wow, what kind? 1022 00:49:57,659 --> 00:49:59,092 Cupcakes with Molly in them, 1023 00:49:59,094 --> 00:50:00,360 I should have told you, I'm so sorry. 1024 00:50:00,362 --> 00:50:01,595 Shit. 1025 00:50:01,597 --> 00:50:02,865 - Jesus. - No, I'm good. 1026 00:50:03,632 --> 00:50:05,132 I've done Molly like, once before. 1027 00:50:05,134 --> 00:50:07,367 It was fun until I puked all over somebody's shoes, 1028 00:50:07,369 --> 00:50:08,668 but I don't foresee that happening this time. 1029 00:50:08,670 --> 00:50:11,338 I don't feel nauseous at all, I'm good. 1030 00:50:11,340 --> 00:50:12,706 I'm sorry, I said that already. 1031 00:50:12,708 --> 00:50:14,941 I'm gonna be serious from now. 1032 00:50:14,943 --> 00:50:17,711 Yeah, falling in love is a very serious matter. 1033 00:50:17,713 --> 00:50:18,981 So serious. 1034 00:50:19,681 --> 00:50:21,514 So you're okay with the choreographed dance 1035 00:50:21,516 --> 00:50:23,050 that we have to do later? 1036 00:50:23,052 --> 00:50:24,851 Oh my God, I would love that. 1037 00:50:24,853 --> 00:50:26,119 There'll be a speech 1038 00:50:26,121 --> 00:50:27,387 with a lot of inside jokes 1039 00:50:27,389 --> 00:50:29,123 that neither one of us are gonna get. 1040 00:50:29,125 --> 00:50:30,360 Bring it on. 1041 00:50:31,693 --> 00:50:32,793 Do you believe in love? 1042 00:50:32,795 --> 00:50:34,063 My parents got divorced. 1043 00:50:34,697 --> 00:50:36,996 Uh, oh. 1044 00:50:36,998 --> 00:50:37,998 No, I'm good, I'm okay. 1045 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,532 I'm good, let's go get a drink. 1046 00:50:39,534 --> 00:50:40,700 Yep. 1047 00:51:11,099 --> 00:51:15,603 ♪ All of us have felt the burden 1048 00:51:15,605 --> 00:51:18,371 ♪ Of being nowhere alone 1049 00:51:18,373 --> 00:51:21,407 ♪ With feelings that leave us 1050 00:51:21,409 --> 00:51:25,579 ♪ Wondering when the time will come 1051 00:51:25,581 --> 00:51:31,751 ♪ To find something, someone, a feeling to guide us ♪ 1052 00:51:31,753 --> 00:51:32,753 Oh my god. 1053 00:51:32,755 --> 00:51:37,624 ♪ Like a technicolour operation 1054 00:51:37,626 --> 00:51:42,632 ♪ You commandeer my field of vision 1055 00:51:46,469 --> 00:51:50,474 ♪ I'm a bullet in the ocean 1056 00:51:51,873 --> 00:51:54,941 ♪ You harness me so softly 1057 00:51:54,943 --> 00:51:58,445 ♪ That I just fall 1058 00:51:58,447 --> 00:52:00,880 ♪ Baby ♪ 1059 00:52:06,422 --> 00:52:07,420 Oh, it's so cute. 1060 00:52:07,422 --> 00:52:08,657 Oh, yes. 1061 00:52:11,994 --> 00:52:13,262 Hey. 1062 00:52:13,795 --> 00:52:14,894 Hey, congratulations. 1063 00:52:14,896 --> 00:52:16,597 Thank you. 1064 00:52:16,599 --> 00:52:17,601 Big day. 1065 00:52:18,300 --> 00:52:19,432 It's a beautiful wedding, 1066 00:52:19,434 --> 00:52:20,633 you have a really good voice. 1067 00:52:20,635 --> 00:52:21,904 Yeah? 1068 00:52:22,838 --> 00:52:23,840 How's Morgan? 1069 00:52:24,606 --> 00:52:26,307 Uh, I haven't seen her in a while. 1070 00:52:26,309 --> 00:52:27,611 That's too bad. 1071 00:52:28,777 --> 00:52:30,012 You know, I, um, 1072 00:52:31,079 --> 00:52:33,313 I dig that bike. 1073 00:52:33,315 --> 00:52:35,117 I think girls on bikes are cool. 1074 00:52:36,485 --> 00:52:37,787 How much that cost? 1075 00:52:38,820 --> 00:52:40,820 I'mI'm not sure actually. 1076 00:52:40,822 --> 00:52:44,027 Yeah, must be doing something special. 1077 00:52:51,833 --> 00:52:53,300 Your wife. 1078 00:52:53,302 --> 00:52:54,802 Oh no, no, we have an open relationship. 1079 00:52:54,804 --> 00:52:56,135 There was a whole, 1080 00:52:56,137 --> 00:52:57,304 there was this book, 1081 00:52:57,306 --> 00:52:59,773 and I don't really remember, 1082 00:52:59,775 --> 00:53:01,677 but you can have sex with other people. 1083 00:53:03,846 --> 00:53:04,845 That's cool. 1084 00:53:04,847 --> 00:53:05,849 Yeah. 1085 00:53:10,485 --> 00:53:11,887 What do you want? 1086 00:53:12,722 --> 00:53:14,724 To go to the bathroom. 1087 00:53:15,757 --> 00:53:17,059 Is that all? 1088 00:53:21,864 --> 00:53:23,099 Ow! 1089 00:54:03,938 --> 00:54:05,938 Why's your rating so low? 1090 00:54:05,940 --> 00:54:06,942 What? 1091 00:54:08,043 --> 00:54:10,112 You're only at a 4.3. 1092 00:54:11,746 --> 00:54:12,945 I am? 1093 00:54:12,947 --> 00:54:14,216 Yep. 1094 00:54:15,818 --> 00:54:16,820 Why? 1095 00:54:17,820 --> 00:54:18,822 I don't know. 1096 00:54:19,655 --> 00:54:21,121 You seem fine. 1097 00:54:21,123 --> 00:54:22,789 I am fine. 1098 00:55:16,010 --> 00:55:17,276 Hi. What are you doing here? 1099 00:55:17,278 --> 00:55:19,445 We didn't have plans. 1100 00:55:19,447 --> 00:55:21,447 Oh, I know, I just wanted to stop by 1101 00:55:21,449 --> 00:55:23,851 and apologize for leaving the wedding. 1102 00:55:23,853 --> 00:55:25,655 I can't do this right now. 1103 00:55:26,889 --> 00:55:28,222 Okay, it's just, 1104 00:55:28,224 --> 00:55:29,222 when I went to the bathroom 1105 00:55:29,224 --> 00:55:30,860 This isn't how this works. 1106 00:55:37,199 --> 00:55:38,965 Many are quick to label 1107 00:55:38,967 --> 00:55:42,869 the sugar lifestyle choice as prostitution, 1108 00:55:42,871 --> 00:55:45,072 but there are lots of differences 1109 00:55:45,074 --> 00:55:48,876 between this lifestyle and the oldest profession. 1110 00:55:48,878 --> 00:55:53,883 A prostitute and a client have a transactional relationship. 1111 00:55:54,315 --> 00:55:59,321 They meet, participate in some sort of a physical act, 1112 00:56:00,222 --> 00:56:01,725 exchange funds, 1113 00:56:02,023 --> 00:56:03,525 and part ways. 1114 00:56:04,025 --> 00:56:08,862 Typically, this is a one time occurrence, a job. 1115 00:56:08,864 --> 00:56:10,329 There is no relationship, 1116 00:56:10,331 --> 00:56:13,900 and no possibility for a relationship, 1117 00:56:13,902 --> 00:56:16,903 and that is the biggest difference, really. 1118 00:56:16,905 --> 00:56:18,240 The relationship. 1119 00:56:21,076 --> 00:56:22,344 Hey. 1120 00:56:22,744 --> 00:56:24,077 Yo. 1121 00:56:24,079 --> 00:56:26,280 What are you wearing to the toga party tonight? 1122 00:56:26,282 --> 00:56:27,884 Uh, a toga. 1123 00:56:29,083 --> 00:56:30,719 So I can't wear this? 1124 00:56:33,521 --> 00:56:35,255 It's not a toga. 1125 00:56:35,257 --> 00:56:36,525 What about now? 1126 00:56:37,559 --> 00:56:39,596 Uh, yeah, no, still not a toga. 1127 00:56:41,096 --> 00:56:43,266 Nikki, it's not a toga. 1128 00:56:44,967 --> 00:56:45,969 Fine. 1129 00:57:05,487 --> 00:57:06,755 Hey. 1130 00:57:16,130 --> 00:57:18,831 So, uh, about earlier. 1131 00:57:18,833 --> 00:57:20,200 It-it's okay, 1132 00:57:20,202 --> 00:57:23,006 but you can't just show up at my house. 1133 00:57:24,472 --> 00:57:25,539 To be fair, 1134 00:57:25,541 --> 00:57:27,039 you did just show up at my house 1135 00:57:27,041 --> 00:57:29,008 and invite me to your wedding. 1136 00:57:29,010 --> 00:57:31,110 And I got you that bracelet. 1137 00:57:31,112 --> 00:57:32,147 Right. 1138 00:57:37,152 --> 00:57:39,188 I read your reference letter today. 1139 00:57:40,456 --> 00:57:41,691 - Oh yeah? - Mhm. 1140 00:57:43,192 --> 00:57:46,492 Do you support all the fantastic things I said about myself? 1141 00:57:46,494 --> 00:57:48,228 No. 1142 00:57:48,230 --> 00:57:49,295 I'm gonna rewrite it, 1143 00:57:49,297 --> 00:57:50,833 tell the truth. 1144 00:57:56,204 --> 00:57:57,403 Did you read my writing sample? 1145 00:57:57,405 --> 00:57:59,206 Mm. 1146 00:57:59,208 --> 00:58:01,010 I'm gonna get to it this weekend. 1147 00:58:12,887 --> 00:58:14,690 Do you have any siblings? 1148 00:58:15,490 --> 00:58:16,490 What? 1149 00:58:16,492 --> 00:58:19,226 You know, brothers or sisters, siblings. 1150 00:58:19,228 --> 00:58:20,230 Why? 1151 00:58:21,063 --> 00:58:22,429 I just realized that I don't know 1152 00:58:22,431 --> 00:58:23,429 anything about your family. 1153 00:58:23,431 --> 00:58:25,234 We don't have to do this. 1154 00:58:27,536 --> 00:58:28,838 Okay. 1155 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,041 It's really good, isn't it. 1156 00:58:34,043 --> 00:58:35,044 Mm. 1157 00:58:39,949 --> 00:58:42,452 There are so many expensive bottles of wine in here. 1158 00:58:43,284 --> 00:58:44,284 Mhm. 1159 00:58:44,286 --> 00:58:46,289 Imagine if I just smashed them all. 1160 00:58:51,092 --> 00:58:52,895 You missed my turn. 1161 00:58:53,762 --> 00:58:55,765 Oh, we're-we're going to my place. 1162 00:58:58,067 --> 00:58:59,568 No, I want to go home. 1163 00:59:03,271 --> 00:59:05,074 It's so early. 1164 00:59:18,487 --> 00:59:20,554 Oh ho ho, who's this? 1165 00:59:20,556 --> 00:59:22,289 Who is this? 1166 00:59:22,291 --> 00:59:23,793 Gertie, Gertie, Gertie. 1167 00:59:25,728 --> 00:59:27,293 She missed you. 1168 00:59:27,295 --> 00:59:28,295 See that? 1169 00:59:28,297 --> 00:59:29,565 You did, didn't you? 1170 00:59:30,965 --> 00:59:32,465 Where you goin'? 1171 00:59:32,467 --> 00:59:34,269 Ha ha ha ha. 1172 00:59:37,271 --> 00:59:40,574 Oh, yes, I'm happy to see you, too. 1173 00:59:40,576 --> 00:59:42,309 Yes I am. 1174 00:59:42,311 --> 00:59:44,113 Yes I am, yes. 1175 01:05:11,405 --> 01:05:12,474 Blake. 1176 01:05:19,715 --> 01:05:20,716 I'll catch up. 1177 01:05:21,983 --> 01:05:23,219 Blake. 1178 01:05:24,987 --> 01:05:26,521 You look like E.T. 1179 01:05:30,891 --> 01:05:32,894 I didn't see ya at the toga party. 1180 01:05:36,364 --> 01:05:37,697 You okay? 1181 01:05:37,699 --> 01:05:38,934 Yeah, I'm great. 1182 01:05:40,735 --> 01:05:42,003 Hey. 1183 01:05:42,603 --> 01:05:43,905 It's okay. 1184 01:05:47,541 --> 01:05:49,441 You don't have to do this. 1185 01:05:49,443 --> 01:05:50,512 Do what? 1186 01:05:51,579 --> 01:05:54,748 Be nice to me because you feel bad or something. 1187 01:05:54,750 --> 01:05:56,552 Oh, I don't feel bad. 1188 01:06:02,724 --> 01:06:05,791 Well, you can feel a little bad for me if you want. 1189 01:06:09,630 --> 01:06:11,433 Do you wanna talk about it, or? 1190 01:06:13,768 --> 01:06:15,068 Do you wanna, 1191 01:06:15,070 --> 01:06:16,372 go for breakfast? 1192 01:06:19,206 --> 01:06:20,442 Okay. 1193 01:06:20,775 --> 01:06:22,043 I'll get the bike. 1194 01:06:31,786 --> 01:06:33,887 Are you bringing anyone to graduation? 1195 01:06:33,889 --> 01:06:35,621 Yeah, my parents. 1196 01:06:35,623 --> 01:06:36,789 You? 1197 01:06:36,791 --> 01:06:40,427 Uh, yeah, same, unfortunately. 1198 01:06:40,429 --> 01:06:41,827 They hate each other, 1199 01:06:41,829 --> 01:06:42,829 but they love me, 1200 01:06:42,831 --> 01:06:44,164 so they just come to all my stuff 1201 01:06:44,166 --> 01:06:46,166 and fight the whole time. 1202 01:06:46,168 --> 01:06:47,900 It's gonna be great. 1203 01:06:47,902 --> 01:06:49,068 That sucks. 1204 01:06:49,070 --> 01:06:50,769 Yeah. 1205 01:06:50,771 --> 01:06:52,604 When did they get divorced? 1206 01:06:52,606 --> 01:06:54,740 Um, a while ago. 1207 01:06:54,742 --> 01:06:56,011 Like, when I was ten. 1208 01:06:58,646 --> 01:07:00,646 Mine also got divorced. 1209 01:07:00,648 --> 01:07:01,648 Oh, when? 1210 01:07:02,650 --> 01:07:04,684 Right after I left for school, 1211 01:07:04,686 --> 01:07:05,818 they were, like, 1212 01:07:05,820 --> 01:07:09,088 "Okay, she's gone, we did it, the end." 1213 01:07:09,090 --> 01:07:10,326 I'm sorry. 1214 01:07:10,992 --> 01:07:12,260 No, it's okay. 1215 01:07:12,827 --> 01:07:14,630 Do you have any siblings? 1216 01:07:20,835 --> 01:07:22,001 What? 1217 01:07:22,003 --> 01:07:23,670 That's my question. 1218 01:07:23,672 --> 01:07:24,704 Whadda ya mean? 1219 01:07:24,706 --> 01:07:25,804 What does that mean? 1220 01:07:25,806 --> 01:07:27,706 I ask that on dates. 1221 01:07:27,708 --> 01:07:28,708 Like, 1222 01:07:28,710 --> 01:07:30,110 "Do you have any siblings?" 1223 01:07:30,112 --> 01:07:31,847 is the question you ask on all the dates? 1224 01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,046 Every time? 1225 01:07:34,048 --> 01:07:35,115 100% of the time? 1226 01:07:35,117 --> 01:07:36,115 Mm hmm. 1227 01:07:36,117 --> 01:07:37,117 That's so weird. 1228 01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:38,617 But you asked me it. 1229 01:07:38,619 --> 01:07:39,853 No, that's the first time I've ever asked it. 1230 01:07:39,855 --> 01:07:41,123 I mean, I don't plan it. 1231 01:07:45,460 --> 01:07:47,228 Why, why do you ask that question? 1232 01:07:49,965 --> 01:07:51,733 Because it's the start. 1233 01:07:54,702 --> 01:07:56,739 Do you have any siblings? 1234 01:07:57,706 --> 01:07:59,671 I don't have any siblings. 1235 01:07:59,673 --> 01:08:01,307 - Do you? - Yeah. 1236 01:08:01,309 --> 01:08:02,812 Got a half sister. 1237 01:08:03,478 --> 01:08:04,577 Which half? 1238 01:08:04,579 --> 01:08:05,878 Oh, my dad's. 1239 01:08:05,880 --> 01:08:07,246 She's the worst person I've ever met. 1240 01:08:07,248 --> 01:08:08,715 She's the worst person 1241 01:08:08,717 --> 01:08:10,249 I've ever met in my entire life. 1242 01:08:10,251 --> 01:08:11,251 Your dad got remarried? 1243 01:08:11,253 --> 01:08:12,251 Yes. 1244 01:08:12,253 --> 01:08:13,519 And how old is she? 1245 01:08:13,521 --> 01:08:15,188 She's-she's three. 1246 01:08:15,190 --> 01:08:17,156 But she acts like she's two. 1247 01:08:17,158 --> 01:08:18,324 We have nothing in common. 1248 01:08:18,326 --> 01:08:20,160 She's the worst little cute 1249 01:08:20,162 --> 01:08:21,160 Here ya go. - baby. 1250 01:08:21,162 --> 01:08:22,397 Thank you so much. 1251 01:08:23,164 --> 01:08:24,363 Thank you. 1252 01:08:24,365 --> 01:08:25,365 I got this. 1253 01:08:25,367 --> 01:08:26,601 Oh. 1254 01:08:30,372 --> 01:08:31,403 I owe you. 1255 01:08:31,405 --> 01:08:33,208 You don't owe me anything. 1256 01:08:50,024 --> 01:08:51,559 Don't leave me again. 1257 01:08:53,962 --> 01:08:54,826 The bike, I meant. 1258 01:08:54,828 --> 01:08:56,131 Sure you did. 1259 01:09:05,439 --> 01:09:06,674 Okay. 1260 01:09:08,944 --> 01:09:10,179 Goodnight. 1261 01:09:10,811 --> 01:09:12,277 No. 1262 01:09:12,279 --> 01:09:13,812 Bad night. 1263 01:09:13,814 --> 01:09:15,083 Good morning. 1264 01:09:17,786 --> 01:09:18,854 Good morning. 1265 01:09:44,011 --> 01:09:45,014 Nikki. 1266 01:09:50,885 --> 01:09:51,887 Nikki! 1267 01:09:54,055 --> 01:09:55,324 Oh shit. 1268 01:10:19,014 --> 01:10:20,312 What the fuck? 1269 01:10:20,314 --> 01:10:21,549 Shit. 1270 01:10:23,018 --> 01:10:25,020 So I read your little love column. 1271 01:10:26,520 --> 01:10:28,323 Used me for material? 1272 01:10:33,662 --> 01:10:35,431 You used me for sex. 1273 01:10:39,067 --> 01:10:40,336 That was the deal. 1274 01:10:43,104 --> 01:10:44,373 I changed your name. 1275 01:10:48,342 --> 01:10:49,675 What's going on? 1276 01:10:49,677 --> 01:10:51,076 You were in there the entire time? 1277 01:10:51,078 --> 01:10:52,577 Sorry. 1278 01:10:52,579 --> 01:10:54,046 If you don't erase every trace of this thing 1279 01:10:54,048 --> 01:10:57,019 I'm going to ruin your name before you even have one. 1280 01:11:36,957 --> 01:11:38,491 I'm not gonna lie, 1281 01:11:38,493 --> 01:11:41,096 I thought about throwing the bracelet in the water. 1282 01:11:44,131 --> 01:11:45,764 Then I sold it, 1283 01:11:45,766 --> 01:11:47,769 because I'm not an idiot. 1284 01:11:51,739 --> 01:11:54,005 God, I should have been a cheerleader. 1285 01:11:54,007 --> 01:11:56,342 Those girls are in such good shape. 1286 01:11:56,344 --> 01:11:59,579 Yeah but, what're they gonna do with their lives? 1287 01:11:59,581 --> 01:12:00,580 I don't know. 1288 01:12:00,582 --> 01:12:01,580 What becomes of them? 1289 01:12:01,582 --> 01:12:03,583 Yeah but, they can do the splits. 1290 01:12:03,585 --> 01:12:05,119 They'll figure it out. 1291 01:12:08,355 --> 01:12:11,156 I still don't think you should delete your column. 1292 01:12:11,158 --> 01:12:13,025 You need to own your scandal. 1293 01:12:13,027 --> 01:12:15,460 Like, uh, 1294 01:12:15,462 --> 01:12:16,764 Marie Antoinette. 1295 01:12:17,599 --> 01:12:19,331 She was a teen idol. 1296 01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:21,336 And she had sex with everyone. 1297 01:12:22,170 --> 01:12:23,669 When she went to Paris, 1298 01:12:23,671 --> 01:12:25,170 people got trampled to death 1299 01:12:25,172 --> 01:12:26,272 just trying to catch a glimpse of her. 1300 01:12:26,274 --> 01:12:28,174 That's really sad. 1301 01:12:28,176 --> 01:12:30,442 And didn't they behead her for being slutty? 1302 01:12:30,444 --> 01:12:32,044 'Kay, well, we are still talking about her. 1303 01:12:32,046 --> 01:12:34,048 That's not always a good thing. 1304 01:12:36,184 --> 01:12:38,220 He revoked his letter for the award. 1305 01:12:40,054 --> 01:12:41,387 They disqualified me. 1306 01:12:41,389 --> 01:12:42,388 Shit. 1307 01:12:42,390 --> 01:12:43,856 I know. 1308 01:12:43,858 --> 01:12:45,394 That sucks, sorry. 1309 01:12:52,332 --> 01:12:53,601 Jennifer Lawrence! 1310 01:12:55,203 --> 01:12:56,602 What about her? 1311 01:12:56,604 --> 01:12:58,271 When the-when those naked pictures came out, of her? 1312 01:12:58,273 --> 01:13:00,106 She owned the shit out of it. 1313 01:13:00,108 --> 01:13:02,875 Declared it was a sex crime on the cover of Vanity Fair. 1314 01:13:02,877 --> 01:13:05,076 And, those pictures made her more interesting, 1315 01:13:05,078 --> 01:13:06,081 in my opinion. 1316 01:13:08,850 --> 01:13:09,915 I'd forgot about that. 1317 01:13:09,917 --> 01:13:11,250 I know. 1318 01:13:11,252 --> 01:13:13,055 She looked great. 1319 01:13:14,087 --> 01:13:16,088 Jennifer Lawrence. 1320 01:13:16,090 --> 01:13:17,089 J.Law. 1321 01:13:17,091 --> 01:13:18,190 Did ya see them? 1322 01:13:18,192 --> 01:13:20,128 No, I mean, she would have, if, 1323 01:13:20,962 --> 01:13:22,260 if I saw them. 1324 01:13:22,262 --> 01:13:24,362 I think she would have looked good. 1325 01:13:24,364 --> 01:13:25,430 But I didn't. 1326 01:13:25,432 --> 01:13:26,699 Did you see them? 1327 01:13:26,701 --> 01:13:28,470 Yeah, I saw them. 1328 01:13:38,378 --> 01:13:39,711 If this were the nineties, 1329 01:13:39,713 --> 01:13:42,147 and I was in a Nora Ephron romcom, 1330 01:13:42,149 --> 01:13:43,549 this would be the moment 1331 01:13:43,551 --> 01:13:45,317 where it would seem all hope is lost. 1332 01:13:50,557 --> 01:13:52,124 But then, 1333 01:13:52,126 --> 01:13:53,960 out of the fog, he'd appear. 1334 01:13:55,762 --> 01:13:57,396 Maybe at the top of a building, 1335 01:13:57,398 --> 01:14:00,333 or maybe in a cop car. 1336 01:14:00,335 --> 01:14:01,601 He wouldn't pull me over 1337 01:14:01,603 --> 01:14:03,268 because I was speeding in a school zone, 1338 01:14:03,270 --> 01:14:05,403 and he sure as fuck wouldn't give me a goddam ticket 1339 01:14:05,405 --> 01:14:07,807 for driving without a motorcycle licence. 1340 01:14:09,344 --> 01:14:10,913 It's my birthday today. 1341 01:14:11,912 --> 01:14:12,911 No it's not. 1342 01:14:12,913 --> 01:14:13,912 It's my graduation, 1343 01:14:13,914 --> 01:14:15,748 and I really need to be there. 1344 01:14:15,750 --> 01:14:17,252 We'd lock eyes. 1345 01:14:18,353 --> 01:14:20,285 We'd have coffees in sweater weather. 1346 01:14:20,287 --> 01:14:22,354 We'd drink wine in the park 1347 01:14:22,356 --> 01:14:23,826 like we were in some French film. 1348 01:14:25,326 --> 01:14:27,994 And we'd run through field after field holding hands, 1349 01:14:27,996 --> 01:14:30,161 while some upbeat love song played. 1350 01:14:41,341 --> 01:14:44,112 But this isn't a romcom from the nineties. 1351 01:14:45,179 --> 01:14:47,216 This is just my story, 1352 01:14:47,981 --> 01:14:49,984 and I don't want to be ashamed of it. 1353 01:14:51,019 --> 01:14:53,218 The story was never about the professor. 1354 01:14:53,220 --> 01:14:54,352 Or an award. 1355 01:14:54,354 --> 01:14:56,289 Or even my column, 1356 01:14:56,291 --> 01:14:57,357 which I didn't delete. 1357 01:14:57,359 --> 01:14:59,291 Otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. 1358 01:14:59,293 --> 01:15:01,059 I just changed my name, 1359 01:15:01,061 --> 01:15:03,064 to my real one this time. 1360 01:15:23,216 --> 01:15:24,485 Thanks for the ride. 1361 01:15:42,604 --> 01:15:44,870 "Meet me on top of the bleachers." 1362 01:15:44,872 --> 01:15:46,173 Hey Blake! 1363 01:15:48,408 --> 01:15:49,375 What? 1364 01:15:49,377 --> 01:15:51,777 Come up here. 1365 01:15:51,779 --> 01:15:53,245 Why? 1366 01:15:53,247 --> 01:15:55,246 You gotta to see the view. 1367 01:15:55,248 --> 01:15:57,616 The view is unbelievable. 1368 01:15:57,618 --> 01:15:59,418 What are you talking about? 1369 01:15:59,420 --> 01:16:00,686 I'm doin' a thing, 1370 01:16:00,688 --> 01:16:02,254 I'm doin' this thing, just, 1371 01:16:02,256 --> 01:16:03,455 can you come up here? 1372 01:16:03,457 --> 01:16:05,124 Trust me? 1373 01:16:05,126 --> 01:16:06,427 Work with me? 1374 01:16:15,069 --> 01:16:16,302 Okay. 1375 01:16:16,304 --> 01:16:17,602 Hi. 1376 01:16:17,604 --> 01:16:20,438 It's romantic up here, isn't it? 1377 01:16:20,440 --> 01:16:21,473 Uh... 1378 01:16:21,475 --> 01:16:22,708 At the top of the, uh, 1379 01:16:22,710 --> 01:16:24,610 Empire State Building. 1380 01:16:24,612 --> 01:16:26,277 What are we doing? 1381 01:16:26,279 --> 01:16:28,313 We're Sleepless in Seattleing. 1382 01:16:28,315 --> 01:16:29,749 I'm Tom Hanks, 1383 01:16:29,751 --> 01:16:31,483 you're Meg Ryan. 1384 01:16:31,485 --> 01:16:32,485 Unless you wanna switch roles, 1385 01:16:32,487 --> 01:16:33,486 ya wanna switch roles? 1386 01:16:33,488 --> 01:16:34,486 I'll be Meg, you be Tom. 1387 01:16:34,488 --> 01:16:35,286 No, I'll be Meg. 1388 01:16:35,288 --> 01:16:36,557 'Kay, I'll be Tom. 1389 01:16:37,158 --> 01:16:38,226 I got you somethin', 1390 01:16:40,494 --> 01:16:41,496 like the movie. 1391 01:16:44,532 --> 01:16:46,531 It's actually a teddy bear. 1392 01:16:46,533 --> 01:16:47,532 What, the rose? 1393 01:16:47,534 --> 01:16:49,501 And she gives it to a kid. 1394 01:16:50,505 --> 01:16:52,037 There's a kid in the movie? 1395 01:16:52,039 --> 01:16:53,304 Yeah, Tom Hanks has a son. Did you watch it? 1396 01:16:53,306 --> 01:16:54,874 I did, why? I don't remember there being a kid. 1397 01:16:54,876 --> 01:16:55,875 I gotta rewatch it. 1398 01:16:55,877 --> 01:16:57,143 Definitely a kid. 1399 01:16:57,145 --> 01:16:58,376 What are you guys doing? 1400 01:16:58,378 --> 01:17:00,379 Um... 1401 01:17:00,381 --> 01:17:01,813 we're Sleepless in Seattleing. 1402 01:17:01,815 --> 01:17:03,982 He's butchering it. 1403 01:17:03,984 --> 01:17:04,983 Nerds. 1404 01:17:04,985 --> 01:17:06,451 I'm doing awesome. 1405 01:17:06,453 --> 01:17:07,452 You are actually. 1406 01:17:07,454 --> 01:17:08,454 I am? 1407 01:17:08,456 --> 01:17:09,688 This is good. 1408 01:17:09,690 --> 01:17:10,990 Do they still fall in love 1409 01:17:10,992 --> 01:17:12,357 at the top of the Empire State Building? 1410 01:17:12,359 --> 01:17:14,160 No, that's-that's where they met. 1411 01:17:14,162 --> 01:17:15,960 But they were already in love they are... 1412 01:17:26,140 --> 01:17:27,643 You look really pretty. 1413 01:17:32,246 --> 01:17:33,379 Are you holding my helmet on? 1414 01:17:33,381 --> 01:17:35,417 - Yeah, I got it. - Oh, thank you. 1415 01:17:36,551 --> 01:17:37,549 C'monah. 1416 01:17:37,551 --> 01:17:38,918 What? 1417 01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:39,919 Let's go. 1418 01:17:39,921 --> 01:17:40,919 Okay. 1419 01:17:40,921 --> 01:17:41,920 Oh, we have to graduate. 1420 01:17:41,922 --> 01:17:43,155 - Hyah. - Hyah. 1421 01:17:43,157 --> 01:17:44,824 I came here in a cop car. 1422 01:17:44,826 --> 01:17:45,825 Why? 1423 01:17:45,827 --> 01:17:47,393 'Cause I'm cool now. 1424 01:17:47,395 --> 01:17:48,393 That is really cool. 1425 01:17:48,395 --> 01:17:49,394 I'm criminal. 1426 01:17:49,396 --> 01:17:50,396 That's sick. 1427 01:17:50,398 --> 01:17:51,667 I know a criminal. 1428 01:17:52,233 --> 01:17:53,398 It's a long story, 1429 01:17:53,400 --> 01:17:54,567 but it's actually not. 1430 01:17:54,569 --> 01:17:56,201 - It's really not a long story. - What? 1431 01:17:56,203 --> 01:17:58,403 So, apparently, I need a licence to drive my moped. 1432 01:17:58,405 --> 01:17:59,772 Uh huh, I didn't even know that. 1433 01:17:59,774 --> 01:18:01,107 No, neither did I. 1434 01:18:01,109 --> 01:18:02,441 I thought you could just drive 'em around. 1435 01:18:02,443 --> 01:18:03,541 No. 1436 01:18:03,543 --> 01:18:05,376 What? 1437 01:18:05,378 --> 01:18:07,446 So, that's something that I'm going to have to deal with. 1438 01:18:07,448 --> 01:18:10,549 Each one of us has a story of how we got to where we are, 1439 01:18:10,551 --> 01:18:13,085 which most likely involves study drugs, 1440 01:18:13,087 --> 01:18:14,553 getting blackout drunk, 1441 01:18:14,555 --> 01:18:16,054 and having one night stands. 1442 01:18:16,056 --> 01:18:18,590 We'll tell these stories at dinner parties 1443 01:18:18,592 --> 01:18:20,459 and to our future children. 1444 01:18:20,461 --> 01:18:24,095 Well, maybe not the one night stand part. 1445 01:18:24,097 --> 01:18:25,630 Or the blackout drunk part. 1446 01:18:25,632 --> 01:18:27,635 Or the study drugs, for that matter. 1447 01:18:28,802 --> 01:18:30,468 But maybe our stories don't have to be 1448 01:18:30,470 --> 01:18:32,440 for anyone but ourselves. 1449 01:18:33,541 --> 01:18:34,874 Your hopeless romantic, 1450 01:18:34,876 --> 01:18:36,976 Blake Conway. 1451 01:18:42,409 --> 01:18:47,409 Kunjungi www.Hokibet99.com Agen Judi Online Aman Terpercaya