0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Like, Share and Follow our Instagram @Layarkaca21indo.id for Support 1 00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:07,507 [grunts] 2 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,688 [coughs] 3 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:25,316 You've worked hard. That's a fact. 4 00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:28,611 Now, it's time to relax 5 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:32,073 and there's no better place to relax than right here. 6 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,118 Palm Sunshine is not a home. 7 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,370 It's a paradise. 8 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:42,000 Start your day with friends by the pool, 9 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:46,129 then join us at the Sunshine Bistro for lunch or dinner 10 00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:51,426 and be sure to take a stroll around the five acres of luscious greenery 11 00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:54,679 before returning to your easy access bungalow, 12 00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:58,349 designed by famed architect Bijan Zanjan. 13 00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:02,771 Feel like going shopping or to the movies? 14 00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:05,899 Let our Sunshine Shuttle take you there. 15 00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:10,612 But why leave when you see who's performing at the Casbah Cabaret? 16 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:15,950 Some of the hottest acts in show business hit the stage five nights a week. 17 00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:21,081 You've taken care of business, taken care of your family. 18 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:25,126 Isn't it time somebody took care... of you? 19 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,088 ♪ You've worked hard ♪ 20 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,048 ♪ That's a fact ♪ 21 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:34,511 ♪ Now, it's time to relax ♪ 22 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:39,849 ♪ At Palm Sunshine. ♪ 23 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,092 It's The Shins. 24 00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:16,928 Ah, they're terrific. Very emo. 25 00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,346 That's really amazing! 26 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,057 You're, like, only nine years behind in the times. 27 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,610 I've always been hip. You know that, Jeannie. 28 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,687 You know, hip people don't say that they're hip. 29 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,814 What am I supposed to listen to? Lawrence Welk? 30 00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:30,900 You love Lawrence Welk! You fall asleep to him almost every night. 31 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,779 Did you watch the video? 32 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,697 The video? 33 00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:40,702 Yeah, the DVD. Palm Sunshine? 34 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,204 Oh, you retire from the post office, not from show business. 35 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,207 - You did. - No, I didn't! 36 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:50,336 All my acts died on me, except Max Becker. At least he's still alive. 37 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,881 Doesn't Max Becker have a new manager? 38 00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:56,885 Yeah, but you never know. He might drop him. 39 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,888 - Thank you! - Chicken salad. 40 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:02,182 - Pastrami. - We need pickles, the good kind. 41 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:11,691 What's on your head? 42 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,067 Is that make-up? 43 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,446 Grandpa, you fell again? 44 00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:20,867 I did not fall. I was already down and please don't use the word "again." 45 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,120 Shecky Greene. 46 00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:27,040 You know how many people my age know who that is? None! 47 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:31,544 Bob Hope, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, all the Jacks and the Jackies. 48 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,047 What, you got Skinny Jack, Fat Jack, Jack Benny, 49 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:37,008 Jackie Gleason, Jack Carter, Jackie Mason, One-Eyed Jack... 50 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:41,262 You know? You put so much shit in my head and I kind of love you for it. 51 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:43,890 Kind of? 52 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,226 Look, maybe... 53 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,437 Well, there was that time with the... 54 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,691 - the stove and then there's... - What do you want from me, Jeannie? 55 00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,404 I don't want you to be alone. 56 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,617 Happy days and a pleasant good night. 57 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,957 Are you a catheter user? 58 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,042 What if your catheter could hide in plain sight? 59 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:14,128 I turned 60 this year and I'm not... Don't. 60 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,257 No need to applaud. 61 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,384 "Gee, he's really in tremendous shape. 62 00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,011 I bet he's on a high fibre diet." 63 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:26,224 I had an oat muffin ten years ago and I'm still shitting because of it. 64 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:30,811 I'm a manager. 65 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:34,941 Mostly, I manage comedians, like Arty Wise. 66 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:36,859 Huh. 67 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:38,194 You a fan? 68 00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:39,988 No, I don't know who that is. 69 00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:45,201 Oh, well, everyone probably older than you knows Arty Wise. 70 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,370 You'd know him if you saw him. 71 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,998 But you won't see him 'cause he's dead. 72 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,042 Dead and gone. 73 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:54,585 I'm sorry to hear that. 74 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,713 - I'm Al Hart. - [cell phone rings] 75 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:58,422 Hello? 76 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:02,969 No, I'm free. Perfect timing, yeah! 77 00:05:06,347 --> 00:05:07,348 Hi, sweetheart. 78 00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:09,766 How are you? 79 00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:10,893 Keeping busy? 80 00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,941 I could really use your advice, Lois. 81 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:19,652 I'm a little lost. 82 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:22,739 How about a sign? 83 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:24,824 No rain, though. 84 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:26,909 I walked here. 85 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,417 What am I supposed to do, darling? 86 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,764 ♪ You worked hard ♪ 87 00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,433 ♪ That's a fact ♪ 88 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,394 ♪ Now, it's time to relax... ♪ 89 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:57,899 [woman] I really wish you guys could stay for dinner. 90 00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:01,027 - Wednesday is Lasagna Night. - Lasagna Night? 91 00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,987 - Yes! Mr Hart... - Yes? 92 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,114 I think that once you see the campus, 93 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,116 - you'll be very impressed. - I hope so. 94 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,703 And what better way to show you the grounds of Palm Sunshine 95 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:13,289 than to have one of our residents give you a tour? 96 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,458 [bells ring] 97 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:16,751 [grunts] 98 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,836 [clears throat, spits] 99 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,256 Did somebody call for a tour guide? 100 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,218 [coughs] 101 00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,055 Come on, I don't have all day. 102 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:33,893 How long you been married? 103 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:36,604 Oh, no, this is my grandpa. 104 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,689 Yeah, I don't care. 105 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,110 No! Grandpa, come on. 106 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,362 - Just... - No, let's get out of here. 107 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,864 No, we'll just... A couple of minutes. 108 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,249 Go-go dancers. 109 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,959 Go on, check it out! 110 00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:02,046 - Let's get the hell out of here. - Okay. 111 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,257 [horns honk] 112 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:14,809 This is the mess hall. 113 00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,186 A potato a day 114 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,565 and soup... made from rocks! 115 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:21,815 It's horrible! 116 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,862 But never, ever ask for more 117 00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,239 or they'll put you in the Box. 118 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:29,449 The what? 119 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:32,160 The Box! People die in the Box! 120 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,953 Don't let them put me in the Box... 121 00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:36,164 - I had no intention of... - You gotta help me! 122 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,247 You gotta help me! 123 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,418 Please, just help me get a message to my son! 124 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:41,377 [yells] 125 00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:42,670 Please! 126 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,548 I don't want to do Ed Sullivan. 127 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,269 Buddy? 128 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,145 Buddy Green? 129 00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:02,106 - Al Hart! - [laughs] 130 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,567 I don't believe this! 131 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,279 - I... - I got him good! 132 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:11,282 Got me good. You know, you son of a bitch, you got old. 133 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,343 - Me? - That's how I didn't recognize you. 134 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,007 - You look like a mummy. - How did you know I was even coming here? 135 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,538 I'm the welcoming committee. 136 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,665 I saw your name on the list. 137 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,460 Come on. 138 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,171 What a surprise! 139 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:28,758 This place is terrific and I mean it, 140 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:32,845 and I was the most skeptical of all when I first moved in here. 141 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,641 But my son, he just... 142 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,435 He just talked me into it, you know? 143 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:44,524 It doesn't bother you, being around so many old people? 144 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,858 Oh... no... 145 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,985 Never use the O word. 146 00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:49,986 It's very offensive. 147 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:53,491 The politically correct term is pre-dead. 148 00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,373 Buddy Green! I never thought I'd see you again. 149 00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:02,291 I know. 150 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,876 So, what happened? 151 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,920 Buddy was my first client ever. 152 00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:08,256 He was one of the funniest up-and-comers. 153 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,339 I booked him everywhere. 154 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:13,302 Then we were doing two weeks at the Elegante, 155 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,845 opening for Al Martino. 156 00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,265 Jerry Vale, and it was the Copa. 157 00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,432 No. 158 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:22,019 I specifically remember it was Martino at the Elegante. 159 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:26,148 It was my show and it was Jerry Vale and it was at the Copa. 160 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,568 You never played the Copa! I was your manager. 161 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,112 - I should know. - You are out of your mind! 162 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,613 - No... - Guys, jeez! Okay. 163 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,615 What happened? 164 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,243 - I get the call. - From Ed Sullivan? 165 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,828 It's every comic's dream. 166 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:42,039 It was 1967. 167 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,000 Last time I saw him. 168 00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:48,337 So... you didn't do Ed Sullivan? 169 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,757 What did you end up doing? 170 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,384 I became a podiatrist. 171 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,387 You gave up show business for feet? 172 00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:59,307 Yep. I had the biggest practice in Beverley Hills... 173 00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:00,600 where nobody walks. 174 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,689 But your grandfather was a hell of a manager. 175 00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:09,191 - I wasn't that good. - He was a hell of a lousy manager, 176 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,736 - but he had a way with people. - I've never liked people. 177 00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:14,256 - He never liked people, but he liked me. - I never liked you. 178 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,200 He never liked me, per se, but he liked children. 179 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,659 - Not your children. - Well, my children were terrible. 180 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:19,619 My son was a moron. 181 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,287 Can't even remember his own name! 182 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:23,998 This is his bit! 183 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,084 A guy who would keep on changing his opinion. 184 00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,586 I called it The Agent. 185 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,839 Al Hart! 186 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,091 It's a hell of a surprise. 187 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:36,927 So, what do you think? 188 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,017 How are the chicks? 189 00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:45,895 Old and horny. 190 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,107 So, what do you think? 191 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:32,274 Not bad. 192 00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,027 Best part of it is, you don't gotta tip anybody. 193 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,540 Come on, we're gonna go get some good seats. 194 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,532 [men singing, piano playing] 195 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,221 They're twins. 196 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,264 Ah. 197 00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:12,230 I gotta sit. 198 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,817 [sighs] 199 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,865 You know, I used to think that... 200 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:24,744 that running a marathon was... tiring. 201 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,496 Now, it's standing up for ten minutes. 202 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,708 - [laughs] - Buddy, you coming? 203 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:34,628 Uhh... Yeah, I'll be there in a minute. 204 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:37,006 Okay? All right, I'll be there. 205 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,968 - Who's that? - Nobody. 206 00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,219 Buddy... 207 00:12:42,636 --> 00:12:44,263 Your girlfriend? You have a girlfriend? 208 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,433 Well... the cocktail lounge is still open. 209 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,935 Go get yourself a drink and... 210 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:52,396 and then I'll meet you in the morning, okay? 211 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,567 Does this ever happen to you, that when you stand up, 212 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,487 you have to pretend to be looking at something 213 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:02,048 - before you get your balance back? - I don't have all night! 214 00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:03,407 That's your girlfriend, isn't it? 215 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:04,491 No! 216 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,034 No. 217 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:07,744 - Buddy? - It's a friend. 218 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,455 I think she's waiting. 219 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,290 Your mom. 220 00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:13,459 - Yeah. - Now is the time, Buddy. 221 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:17,087 - [clears throat] - You know, the nice thing about this place 222 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,891 is that you don't have to eat anyone's shit. 223 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:45,407 Did you hear the one about the guy who goes to the doctor, 224 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,785 he says, "Doctor, I pee non-stop. 225 00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:50,162 I can't help it, I just keep peeing. What shall I do?" 226 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:54,959 The doctor says, "First thing you have to do is get off my rug." 227 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,253 Okay. 228 00:13:58,295 --> 00:14:00,297 By the way, I got a new shipment. 229 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,258 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, from Canada. 230 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,969 - All right. - A place called Viagra Falls. 231 00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:07,429 Are you telling me you can still... 232 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,597 Like this. 233 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,684 Well, sometimes it's like this. 234 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,895 But Cialis or Viagra, sometimes both... 235 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:18,399 Doc Ron here, he's my pusher. 236 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:21,277 If you ever need a hard-on, this is my card. 237 00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,073 [men laugh] 238 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:29,118 Thank you. Thank you so much, Ron. 239 00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:32,079 Get about a 10-, 15-minute semi. 240 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:33,789 I'm okay with a semi. 241 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,249 Can you still come? 242 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:36,876 - Can you still... - Yes. 243 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,669 Excuse me - orgasm. Yeah? 244 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,754 If you count... dust. 245 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,716 That's terrible! 246 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,343 The last time that my wife got frisky, 247 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:52,349 we were in bed and she starts stroking my chest and my stomach 248 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:55,728 and she slid her hand lower under my ass 249 00:14:56,103 --> 00:14:58,105 and, all of a sudden, she stops 250 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,482 and I'm like, "Why are you stopping?" 251 00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:03,569 And she says, "I found the remote." 252 00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:17,207 You guys hear about Katz? 253 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:19,752 - Murray Katz? - Stroke. 254 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,922 Yeah, they ran him down to Cedars this morning. 255 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:25,883 - How is he? - I'm gonna guess... not good. 256 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,552 - And Darlene Lipshaw. - The tango dancer? 257 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,512 She's a good dancer. 258 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:31,764 Well, she was. 259 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,933 Fell in the shower, broke her hip. 260 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,559 Anything else? 261 00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,811 - And her nose. - [groans] 262 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:41,273 Well, I want to thank you for bringing us the good news. 263 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,867 That was Johnny Sunshine. 264 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,638 Not good. 265 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:58,600 [Sunshine] Hear about Saul Fischer? He won $5 at canasta, 266 00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,228 went to bed, woke up dead. 267 00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,188 Marty Freeman had a knee replacement. 268 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:06,108 And then they found a tumor on his spine. 269 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,234 That it? 270 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,820 That's not enough for you? 271 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:08,087 You know, I don’t think I ever knew that you play the piano. 272 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,219 I'm not there yet, Buddy. 273 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:27,564 It's... a new season. 274 00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:29,858 Embrace it. 275 00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:42,121 George Burns. He was 100 years old. He never retired. 276 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,833 Rickles. He couldn’t walk, but he was still killing ’em. 277 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,127 I'd rather go down working. 278 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,629 [chuckles] 279 00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:52,881 You're not working. 280 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:03,225 Do you have any idea how hot old comedians are right now? 281 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:04,559 What? 282 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,521 There’s a lot of love for the old-timers. 283 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,569 - Are you smoking grass? - Mmhmm. 284 00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:17,364 - I have a card. - Since when do you smoke pot? 285 00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:22,536 Since 1965, when The Beatles started. 286 00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:24,955 A pot-smoking podiatrist. 287 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,836 - Want some? - Not my thing. 288 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:32,880 You never tried it, did you? 289 00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,135 Of course I've tried it! 290 00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,226 - It's just not my thing. - You never tried it. 291 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:42,639 - I tried it. - You never tried it. 292 00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:47,394 Oh, God, you're the most tragically unhip person. 293 00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,814 - Like you're hip! - I am. I am pretty hip. 294 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,150 Hip people do not say they're hip. 295 00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:56,617 And just because I don't act like a jazz musician doesn't mean I'm not. 296 00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,280 Jazz musician? 297 00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,532 That's your frame of reference? 298 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:05,412 That is the most unhip statement I have ever heard. 299 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:12,169 Look... can we just talk about this, just hypothetically? 300 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:14,755 Talk about what? 301 00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,635 Are you telling me you don't miss it? 302 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,179 You could have been big. 303 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:23,888 I am big. 304 00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:25,849 It's the jokes that got small. 305 00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:28,352 You see? That's funny. 306 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,481 I'm a funny guy, you know? I used to crack up my patients. 307 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:36,360 - You had a gift. - I was just another comic. 308 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:37,778 I barely had an act. 309 00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:41,365 You... had a personality and you still do. 310 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:43,659 And, by the way, you're in great shape. 311 00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:48,580 I retired, Al, 50 years ago! 312 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,916 What a great comeback story! 313 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:54,086 Yeah, from bunions to Broadway! 314 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:58,840 See, you just can't help but be funny. 315 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,425 I'm a funny guy, okay! 316 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:04,263 Why not let me get you a few gigs? Just a few, test the waters. 317 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:08,392 Because I'm not a comedian, Al. I'm not! 318 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:09,977 Not any more. 319 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,853 Come on, what do you have to lose? 320 00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,774 Buddy? 321 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,821 Go slip her that mushy semi. 322 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:22,739 [Buddy laughs] 323 00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:41,758 [man] Oh, boy, here we go! 324 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:44,428 Here comes the Doomsday report. 325 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:46,305 - Did you hear about Buddy? - Huh? 326 00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,140 Did you hear about Buddy? 327 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:51,393 - How is he? - Not good. 328 00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:13,498 Jesus, Buddy. 329 00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,378 Her name was Gayle Johnson and... 330 00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,006 she was wonderful. 331 00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:25,135 We fell asleep watching Law and Order. 332 00:22:28,555 --> 00:22:29,931 She never woke up. 333 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,936 I am so sorry. 334 00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:37,856 Couldn't take losing another woman I loved. 335 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:40,525 So... 336 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,196 I pretended I didn't love her. 337 00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:50,077 Would it have killed me to say that I loved her? 338 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,038 I'm sure she knew. 339 00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:57,209 She was the only thing that made this place... bearable. 340 00:22:57,501 --> 00:22:58,752 That's not true. 341 00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:00,253 You love it here. 342 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:01,338 I hate it. 343 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,592 What about all the shows... 344 00:23:05,675 --> 00:23:08,345 Tone deaf singers and puppet shows. 345 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,768 I'm really not ready to die. 346 00:23:15,727 --> 00:23:16,978 You're not gonna die. 347 00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:25,277 Let's do it. 348 00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:28,031 Just like in the old days. 349 00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:31,284 Let's get out of here and put me to work. 350 00:23:35,872 --> 00:23:37,082 Are you serious? 351 00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:41,503 I'm serious as cancer. 352 00:24:03,442 --> 00:24:04,901 I'm gonna book you in Vegas. 353 00:24:05,318 --> 00:24:07,446 We'll play Chicago and New York and... 354 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,867 Buddy, I'm gonna book you on the fucking Tonight Show. 355 00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:29,092 I got doughnuts and coffee. 356 00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:31,336 - Did you tell your son? - You call your granddaughter? 357 00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:36,433 Okay, hit it! 358 00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:47,068 $10 they won’t make it to Glendale. 359 00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:02,626 So, do you even have an act? 360 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:04,878 I never had an act. 361 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:06,963 I got 50 years of jokes. 362 00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:19,226 Uhh.. Woah... You missed the exit! 363 00:25:20,143 --> 00:25:21,853 Aren't we going to Vegas? 364 00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:25,440 - Practically. - What do you mean, "practically"? 365 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,276 Vegas is oversaturated. I got us something better. 366 00:25:29,736 --> 00:25:32,030 You couldn't book me in Vegas. 367 00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:33,532 Of course I could. 368 00:25:34,407 --> 00:25:35,951 It's your first gig in a long time. 369 00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:38,828 Let's stay under the radar while you get your chops back. 370 00:25:38,912 --> 00:25:41,206 So, where am I playing? 371 00:25:41,581 --> 00:25:42,958 It's a little off-Strip. 372 00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:45,710 Look at that - practically Vegas. 373 00:25:46,336 --> 00:25:48,338 You are out of your mind. 374 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,133 Oh, I need some mascara. 375 00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:54,093 What? 376 00:25:54,886 --> 00:25:56,096 You know, some mascara. 377 00:25:57,931 --> 00:26:00,642 Hi there. We're playing the Kickapoo Room. 378 00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:02,894 Do I check in here? 379 00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:06,481 Kickapoo Room? That's at the Palace, about a mile down the road. 380 00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:10,681 - It's about a mile... - I heard. 381 00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:13,613 It's called paying your dues. 382 00:26:13,738 --> 00:26:16,533 [comedian] Am I the only one that gets a rush of adrenaline 383 00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:19,536 when the radio DJ cuts his dismount 384 00:26:19,619 --> 00:26:22,080 a little too close to the song's beginning? 385 00:26:22,163 --> 00:26:24,833 "You're listening to 90.1 The Patch 386 00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:27,794 and we're having such a smooth time here today." 387 00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:29,796 You gotta get out of there, Mike! 388 00:26:29,879 --> 00:26:33,008 Tracey Chapman's nipping at your heels, buddy! 389 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:34,634 Show us your tits, sweetie. 390 00:26:36,678 --> 00:26:39,973 I went to theater school and I caught the bug in high school 391 00:26:40,056 --> 00:26:42,809 and by "the bug," I mean narcissistic personality disorder. 392 00:26:42,892 --> 00:26:44,894 - But... - No, you mean AIDS. 393 00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:46,730 Oh, for the love of God! 394 00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:49,649 I bet you can fit that microphone in your mouth, boy. 395 00:26:49,774 --> 00:26:52,485 - You nervous? - No! 396 00:26:52,569 --> 00:26:54,946 What have I got to be nervous about? 397 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,366 - Hey, I found mascara. - Oh, that's great! 398 00:26:58,450 --> 00:26:59,451 Great! 399 00:27:00,535 --> 00:27:01,535 What's it for? 400 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:04,122 I told you - don't ask. 401 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,001 I don't think I can connect with you. 402 00:27:08,084 --> 00:27:10,754 I think in order to connect, I'd have to unread a lot of things. 403 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:16,468 All right! Well, I'm gonna go wade into a river Virginia Woolf-style. 404 00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:19,054 Good luck at your next book burning, sir. Thank you so much. 405 00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:20,555 I've been Paula Poundstone. 406 00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:23,400 Have a great night and give it up for your next poor son of a bitch... 407 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,769 Buddy Green! 408 00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:30,440 It’s not worth it. Just get in your car and keep driving. 409 00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:50,210 Thank you. 410 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:54,422 Oh, wow! 411 00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:57,008 [Buddy laughs] 412 00:27:57,717 --> 00:27:58,968 Okay. 413 00:28:00,637 --> 00:28:02,055 Here's the deal. 414 00:28:02,138 --> 00:28:06,267 I have not been on a stage in about... 415 00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:09,396 50 years. 416 00:28:10,897 --> 00:28:12,023 No joke! 417 00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:15,527 I used to do this for a living 418 00:28:15,610 --> 00:28:19,531 and I just decided to come back and do it for the laughs. 419 00:28:19,864 --> 00:28:20,864 No one's laughing! 420 00:28:27,747 --> 00:28:31,418 Okay. So, I've been getting into online dating 421 00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:38,425 and I actually found a really nice gal online... 422 00:28:39,467 --> 00:28:40,802 at the Souplantation. 423 00:28:44,848 --> 00:28:47,058 'Cause old people like to eat soup. 424 00:28:47,308 --> 00:28:48,768 Ha Ha. 425 00:28:54,941 --> 00:28:56,776 I am getting old. 426 00:28:57,152 --> 00:28:58,319 [man] So is your act. 427 00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:01,990 It was nice of the meth lab to let you out to see the show. 428 00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:07,036 And, by the way, nice mullet. 429 00:29:09,664 --> 00:29:11,040 Who does your hair? NASCAR? 430 00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:16,713 All right, I should leave him alone. 431 00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:19,924 Poor guy hasn't gotten laid since he made parole. 432 00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:22,135 [audience laughs] 433 00:29:22,886 --> 00:29:26,639 And I can talk. I haven't had sex since Watergate. 434 00:29:28,266 --> 00:29:29,267 I'm just kidding. 435 00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:30,977 My wife loved sex, though. 436 00:29:32,061 --> 00:29:34,773 Her favorite position was the missionary position. 437 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:37,609 That's where she's in bed, on her back 438 00:29:37,984 --> 00:29:39,068 and I'm in Africa. 439 00:29:51,539 --> 00:29:52,539 You were a hit! 440 00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:54,876 I pummeled at the Palace. 441 00:29:55,084 --> 00:29:57,086 I was the Rickles of the reservation. 442 00:29:57,170 --> 00:29:58,963 This is great. You know, 443 00:29:59,130 --> 00:30:01,382 we're cutting our teeth on these little podunk towns, 444 00:30:01,466 --> 00:30:03,343 but by the time we get to New York City, 445 00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:04,928 you're gonna be in top form. 446 00:30:05,011 --> 00:30:08,598 Hey, have you heard from Carson's people yet? 447 00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:10,725 Buddy, you're two hosts behind. 448 00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,479 - Fallon. - We're trading calls. 449 00:30:15,980 --> 00:30:16,981 It's Vic Lardo. 450 00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:19,558 He used to book for Letterman. 451 00:30:20,151 --> 00:30:24,614 An old friend. He owes me big-time, you know, so... 452 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,826 Anyway, they know the situation and they're interested. 453 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,285 Beyond interested. 454 00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:33,873 Just trying to figure out the dates. 455 00:30:34,457 --> 00:30:36,835 Boy, that would be great. 456 00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:43,716 You're a real pothead, aren't you? 457 00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:45,676 It's medicine. 458 00:30:46,469 --> 00:30:47,971 It helps me relax. 459 00:30:49,639 --> 00:30:52,600 So, where in San Diego are we playing? 460 00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:56,896 It's a little south of the city. 461 00:30:57,188 --> 00:30:58,690 A great club. 462 00:31:01,317 --> 00:31:02,652 You call your granddaughter? 463 00:31:04,821 --> 00:31:06,781 No, I'll call her tomorrow. I'm tired. 464 00:31:07,615 --> 00:31:08,616 You call your son? 465 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:10,743 No, not yet. 466 00:31:12,078 --> 00:31:13,955 I'll call him tomorrow. I'm too tired. 467 00:31:17,917 --> 00:31:18,917 Hey, Al? 468 00:31:19,586 --> 00:31:20,628 Yeah, Buddy? 469 00:31:23,214 --> 00:31:24,214 Thanks. 470 00:31:32,473 --> 00:31:33,766 It's what I do. 471 00:31:40,315 --> 00:31:44,235 [Buddy] You know, I met Arty Wise once in the Catskills. 472 00:31:44,569 --> 00:31:45,945 He gave me a compliment. 473 00:31:46,321 --> 00:31:47,363 [Al] He liked your act? 474 00:31:47,447 --> 00:31:48,615 No, he liked my suit. 475 00:31:49,157 --> 00:31:50,992 He didn't say anything about my act! 476 00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:55,371 Oh, man. He was my last client. 477 00:31:56,789 --> 00:32:00,293 He retired at the peak of his career. You know, I still get calls for him. 478 00:32:00,668 --> 00:32:03,755 Oh, that must have really pissed you off when he retired. 479 00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:05,965 Ah, not at all, really. 480 00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:09,469 You know what your problem is? 481 00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:15,016 - Never trust a guy who starts with that. - You are filled with resentment. 482 00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:16,142 All built-up... 483 00:32:16,225 --> 00:32:18,728 I am being psychoanalyzed by a foot doctor. 484 00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:22,649 Like one of those cans of peanut brittle with the snakes all scrunched up inside. 485 00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:24,692 Someone comes up and asks for some peanut brittle, 486 00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:27,695 and they open it up and Al snakes everywhere. 487 00:32:28,237 --> 00:32:30,156 I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. 488 00:32:32,575 --> 00:32:33,576 Anyway... 489 00:32:34,535 --> 00:32:36,913 you ever notice how old people eat, you know? 490 00:32:36,996 --> 00:32:37,996 No. 491 00:32:39,457 --> 00:32:41,125 No, wait, it's more like this. 492 00:32:42,710 --> 00:32:44,921 That's exactly... That's right. It's like this. 493 00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:57,933 Hello! 494 00:33:00,853 --> 00:33:04,691 [Buddy] You know, we passed San Diego 20 minutes ago. 495 00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:06,109 Where is this club? 496 00:33:06,192 --> 00:33:07,652 Just a little south of here. 497 00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:18,621 [Buddy] This is Tijuana. 498 00:33:18,871 --> 00:33:19,872 [Al] It's a tourist town. 499 00:33:19,956 --> 00:33:23,459 - It's Tijuana! - You don't think they have nightclubs? 500 00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:25,628 I know they have nightclubs in Tijuana! 501 00:33:25,712 --> 00:33:29,799 I saw a broad fuck a burro once in a nightclub in Tijuana. 502 00:33:29,882 --> 00:33:32,969 There's no burro fucking in this, I promise. 503 00:33:33,469 --> 00:33:34,469 It's legit, seriously. 504 00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:37,473 Legit! Do you read a newspaper? 505 00:33:37,557 --> 00:33:40,018 Tijuana is practically a suburb of San Diego. 506 00:33:41,185 --> 00:33:44,105 My son lives in the suburbs, okay? 507 00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:46,774 In the suburbs, they have Olive Gardens! 508 00:34:07,170 --> 00:34:09,297 Thank you. It's great to be here. 509 00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:11,924 [interprets to Spanish] 510 00:34:13,342 --> 00:34:18,181 I actually live in the Los Angeles section of Mexico. 511 00:34:26,105 --> 00:34:28,649 He got that laugh. I didn't get that laugh. Wait a minute. 512 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:32,987 All right, listen, thank you very much. 513 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:34,906 I think I can do this by myself. 514 00:34:34,989 --> 00:34:36,365 Okay? I appreciate it. 515 00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:43,331 See? We understand each other. 516 00:34:43,998 --> 00:34:45,792 We have a lot in common. 517 00:34:46,834 --> 00:34:49,128 I grew up in a bad neighborhood, too. 518 00:34:51,839 --> 00:34:54,759 South side of Chicago. Very tough neighborhood. 519 00:34:55,176 --> 00:34:56,511 But like Tijuana, 520 00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:59,222 it's a really wonderful place to grow up... 521 00:34:59,847 --> 00:35:00,847 if you're a bullet. 522 00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:06,854 Things are getting pretty bad for you guys up in the States. 523 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:10,441 I smoke marijuana and my dealer is Mexican. 524 00:35:10,525 --> 00:35:13,361 I called him the other day and he brought a couple of ounces of weed 525 00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:16,489 and I asked him if he had any papers and he ran away! 526 00:35:16,656 --> 00:35:18,658 [audience laughs and applauds] 527 00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:23,245 You did it again! 528 00:35:24,330 --> 00:35:26,499 In Tijuana! Who'd-a-thunk? 529 00:35:26,582 --> 00:35:28,292 I know! It's like... 530 00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:30,878 Hey, Americans! 531 00:35:31,337 --> 00:35:35,424 Hey, where do you go to have a good time in this town? 532 00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:39,679 [Al] Don't we get a telephone call? 533 00:35:43,891 --> 00:35:47,436 [Al speaking Spanish] 534 00:35:49,272 --> 00:35:51,023 We've got a sick man here. 535 00:35:51,899 --> 00:35:53,025 How are you doing, Buddy? 536 00:35:53,818 --> 00:35:56,571 You never drink the water. Everyone knows that. 537 00:35:58,739 --> 00:35:59,739 What? 538 00:35:59,782 --> 00:36:01,117 Soborno. 539 00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:03,161 What's soborno? 540 00:36:03,327 --> 00:36:04,327 Bribe. 541 00:36:05,788 --> 00:36:06,788 Nationality? 542 00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:09,792 What do you think? 543 00:36:16,757 --> 00:36:18,509 [water running] 544 00:36:51,918 --> 00:36:53,002 You drink the Pepto? 545 00:36:54,253 --> 00:36:55,796 Yeah. 546 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:56,880 That's good. 547 00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:58,424 I just need sleep. 548 00:36:58,674 --> 00:37:00,593 You'll sleep well tonight in Tucson. 549 00:37:02,845 --> 00:37:03,846 You can do it. 550 00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:07,390 Okay. 551 00:37:08,809 --> 00:37:10,144 - Okay. - Great. 552 00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:13,563 Let's ride! 553 00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:33,834 [woman] All the way from Los Angeles, 554 00:37:33,918 --> 00:37:37,004 let's give a big hand for Buddy Green! 555 00:37:38,214 --> 00:37:40,216 [audience cheers] 556 00:37:42,468 --> 00:37:43,468 Hi. 557 00:37:44,178 --> 00:37:46,180 Well, there go my Asian jokes. 558 00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:49,934 But I'm gonna tell you, I don't like ethnic jokes. 559 00:37:50,059 --> 00:37:52,311 I really don't. Now, there is a fine line. 560 00:37:52,395 --> 00:37:55,189 For instance, when I first came up here, I'll tell you, 561 00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:57,024 and I don't think this is racist, 562 00:37:57,650 --> 00:37:59,568 when I first came up here, I looked out at you 563 00:37:59,652 --> 00:38:00,695 and I got a little hungry. 564 00:38:33,352 --> 00:38:36,063 [Al]Vic! Calling you from sunny Tucson. 565 00:38:37,189 --> 00:38:38,649 Yeah, beautiful town. 566 00:38:40,067 --> 00:38:41,861 Oh, yeah, they’re taking great care of us. 567 00:38:41,944 --> 00:38:43,070 Beautiful hotels! 568 00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:48,034 Yeah, slowly but surely. 569 00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:50,703 We'll be in Chicago by next Friday. 570 00:38:53,372 --> 00:38:55,207 Oh, the response has been terrific. 571 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,711 Well, I mean, it's a great story. 572 00:38:58,794 --> 00:39:00,504 You'd be crazy not to jump on it. 573 00:39:01,422 --> 00:39:04,633 Oh, I really appreciate it, Vic. I'm gonna owe you big-time. 574 00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:11,515 Oh, so we're looking at about another ten days on the road. 575 00:39:14,518 --> 00:39:16,979 Sure. Are you kidding? Those dates would be perfect. 576 00:39:19,231 --> 00:39:21,025 Did you talk to Fallon directly? 577 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:23,860 Oh. 578 00:39:24,111 --> 00:39:25,780 No, of course not, yeah. 579 00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:29,158 But you told them the whole story, right? 580 00:39:30,993 --> 00:39:32,536 Well, they've got to be moved. 581 00:39:34,163 --> 00:39:37,083 Yeah. Yes, it's a hell of a story, Vic. 582 00:40:04,026 --> 00:40:05,945 - What? - Oh, no! 583 00:40:06,028 --> 00:40:07,028 What... 584 00:40:07,071 --> 00:40:08,071 Holy shit! 585 00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:09,532 What did you do? 586 00:40:09,615 --> 00:40:10,866 Doing this stuff again! 587 00:40:13,202 --> 00:40:14,202 Oh, God! 588 00:40:14,870 --> 00:40:15,870 I... You... 589 00:40:17,873 --> 00:40:19,834 It's okay. They're gonna... There he goes. 590 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:22,420 - We're good. - [Buddy groans] 591 00:40:22,586 --> 00:40:25,506 You just threw away an ounce of top-shelf indica. 592 00:40:51,115 --> 00:40:52,700 Hey! 593 00:40:53,325 --> 00:40:54,952 What? What happened? 594 00:40:56,036 --> 00:40:57,037 You fell asleep. 595 00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:00,624 What time is it? 596 00:41:07,006 --> 00:41:08,883 Let me ask you a question. 597 00:41:10,426 --> 00:41:13,179 Is it gonna be like this all the way to New York? 598 00:41:13,262 --> 00:41:14,930 Because I need some rest. 599 00:41:15,222 --> 00:41:17,057 Okay. We have Lubbock tonight, 600 00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:19,226 and then you’ll have the whole day to rest in Kansas. 601 00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:22,062 Ooh, a whole day! Ooh, in Kansas! 602 00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:25,649 You know, you've been very irritable since Tijuana. 603 00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:29,487 [Buddy] It's one state over! 604 00:41:29,570 --> 00:41:31,197 [Al] It's completely out of the way. 605 00:41:31,489 --> 00:41:34,450 Now, I can't score weed in Texas. 606 00:41:34,533 --> 00:41:36,994 It's a police state. I gotta go to Colorado. 607 00:41:37,077 --> 00:41:39,788 Willie Nelson doesn't have a problem scoring in Texas. 608 00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:41,207 Willie Nelson gets a day off! 609 00:41:41,290 --> 00:41:43,292 Willie Nelson tours all the time. 610 00:41:43,417 --> 00:41:44,585 I've got news for you. 611 00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:46,086 This is not a tour. 612 00:41:46,795 --> 00:41:48,088 This is a death march. 613 00:41:48,172 --> 00:41:51,300 - I need my weed, Al. - Okay! 614 00:41:51,842 --> 00:41:53,552 I will buy pot for you. 615 00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:56,138 I will buy you a brick of Maui Whoopee. 616 00:41:57,181 --> 00:42:00,643 Would you just stop eating those fucking potato chips? 617 00:42:02,102 --> 00:42:03,229 Thank you, Al. 618 00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:07,942 [man] All right, ladies and gentlemen. 619 00:42:08,025 --> 00:42:12,863 This next comic has got me all excited. 620 00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:15,616 So, let's give a great big old Lubbock, Texas welcome 621 00:42:15,741 --> 00:42:18,536 for Mr Buddy Greenberg! 622 00:42:19,328 --> 00:42:20,621 Show 'em what you got! 623 00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:24,959 It's Buddy Green. 624 00:42:25,501 --> 00:42:26,627 Drop the "berg." 625 00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,011 Evening, fellas! 626 00:42:36,262 --> 00:42:37,471 You boys from around here? 627 00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:39,723 Al Hart, from Los Angeles. 628 00:42:40,307 --> 00:42:43,310 Would any of you gentlemen know where I could procure... 629 00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:46,564 you know, a small amount of marijuana? 630 00:42:46,647 --> 00:42:49,066 [Buddy] The last time that I was in Texas, 631 00:42:49,149 --> 00:42:53,320 the men brought their horses in and left their wives tied up outside. 632 00:43:04,081 --> 00:43:06,458 Hey! What's up? 633 00:43:07,835 --> 00:43:08,669 How's it hanging? 634 00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:12,423 Listen, you look like some pretty cool dudes. 635 00:43:12,506 --> 00:43:16,927 I'm just looking to score a little bit of Mary Jane, 636 00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:18,470 you know, some wacky weed. 637 00:43:20,180 --> 00:43:21,180 Pot. 638 00:43:21,473 --> 00:43:22,473 Well? 639 00:43:23,726 --> 00:43:24,726 And stay in school! 640 00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:27,271 [Buddy] I think Texas gets a bad rap. 641 00:43:27,563 --> 00:43:29,398 I'm always defending Texas. 642 00:43:29,481 --> 00:43:34,570 I mean, I don"t think that you guys would just execute any black person. 643 00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:09,271 Did you hear about the cowboy who wore brown paper bags for clothing? 644 00:44:09,855 --> 00:44:11,440 He got picked up for rustling. 645 00:44:22,534 --> 00:44:25,245 - Maybe this'll cheer you up. - Oww. 646 00:44:25,371 --> 00:44:26,664 - What? - Sorry. 647 00:44:27,414 --> 00:44:28,707 Are you kidding? 648 00:44:30,626 --> 00:44:32,294 Where'd you get this? 649 00:44:33,712 --> 00:44:35,798 I got it from a jazz musician. 650 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,133 Yeah, right! 651 00:44:39,968 --> 00:44:40,968 Thanks. 652 00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:42,429 - Thanks, man. - Wait a minute. 653 00:44:43,389 --> 00:44:44,389 It's Jeannie. 654 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:45,640 Your granddaughter. 655 00:44:47,768 --> 00:44:49,770 - What do I do? - Answer it. 656 00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:52,314 Isn't it a little late? 657 00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:54,483 It's true. That's true. It's very late. 658 00:44:54,566 --> 00:44:57,027 - It's too late to be calling. - What if it's an emergency? 659 00:44:57,111 --> 00:44:59,738 You're the only emergency possible and you're alive. 660 00:44:59,822 --> 00:45:01,824 Yep. She can leave a message. 661 00:45:02,908 --> 00:45:05,661 Well, I got a good feeling about Kansas. 662 00:45:08,288 --> 00:45:11,291 Hey, Buddy... I never asked you. 663 00:45:13,627 --> 00:45:14,753 Why did you quit? 664 00:45:17,548 --> 00:45:18,548 Well... 665 00:45:19,550 --> 00:45:20,968 I had a house in the Hills. 666 00:45:21,927 --> 00:45:25,097 I had a swimming pool. I had a brand-new Jaguar every two years. 667 00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:27,808 I had a wife, who gave me a son, 668 00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:30,185 who gave me three grandchildren. 669 00:45:31,019 --> 00:45:33,856 So, what the fuck did I quit? 670 00:46:40,839 --> 00:46:45,594 "There were only three things standing between me and Yasgur's Farm that summer. 671 00:46:45,677 --> 00:46:48,806 Two of those hurdles were not having a car or money. 672 00:46:49,389 --> 00:46:53,310 That wouldn’t stop me from seeing Janis Joplin at Woodstock. 673 00:46:53,393 --> 00:46:57,272 It was the third obstacle that was the most difficult. 674 00:46:58,190 --> 00:46:59,483 I was 12. 675 00:47:01,151 --> 00:47:03,529 So, this girl from Overland Park 676 00:47:03,612 --> 00:47:05,823 did what any typical seventh grader would do. 677 00:47:05,906 --> 00:47:07,282 She tried to hitchhike. 678 00:47:07,366 --> 00:47:11,119 My thumb was out no more than five minutes before the car pulled up, 679 00:47:11,203 --> 00:47:15,123 which was a 1965 Buick Special. 680 00:47:15,207 --> 00:47:20,170 Coincidentally, the same car that my father drove, 681 00:47:20,254 --> 00:47:24,633 which wasn't really a coincidence because it was my father. 682 00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,428 I never made it to Woodstock 683 00:47:28,512 --> 00:47:32,474 and I spent those last days of summer locked in my bedroom, 684 00:47:32,891 --> 00:47:37,145 dreaming of Janis, who would be dead the following year." 685 00:47:38,981 --> 00:47:40,983 Well, that's the end of the chapter. 686 00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:44,152 Thank you. 687 00:47:52,411 --> 00:47:54,413 Oh, thank you! 688 00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:03,672 Oh, that's so sweet! Thank you. 689 00:48:19,479 --> 00:48:21,023 - Hi. - Hi. 690 00:48:21,106 --> 00:48:23,150 - MInd if I... - Please. 691 00:48:29,990 --> 00:48:31,074 I liked your reading. 692 00:48:31,158 --> 00:48:35,287 Oh, thanks. It's a work in progress, like my life. 693 00:48:36,622 --> 00:48:39,291 I'm Al, by the way. Al Hart from Los Angeles. 694 00:48:39,625 --> 00:48:41,919 - Doris Lovejoy from... - Overland Park? 695 00:48:42,002 --> 00:48:43,211 - Yeah! - Lovejoy... 696 00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:45,297 Lovejoy - is that your stage name? 697 00:48:46,006 --> 00:48:47,758 No. I'm an eighth Pawnee. 698 00:48:47,841 --> 00:48:49,801 - Oh, the Pawnee Lovejoys. - Yeah! 699 00:48:51,136 --> 00:48:55,015 So, Al Hart from Los Angeles, what brings you to Kansas City? 700 00:48:55,557 --> 00:48:56,808 I'm on tour. 701 00:48:57,643 --> 00:48:59,853 I knew you were a rock star. 702 00:49:00,437 --> 00:49:02,147 More like Elvis's grandfather. 703 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:11,031 Say, I'm not usually this forward. 704 00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:14,618 Doris, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow? 705 00:49:15,577 --> 00:49:18,038 I don't know, Al. That is just so forward. 706 00:49:18,747 --> 00:49:19,747 You're right. 707 00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:22,376 How about... just soup? 708 00:49:27,631 --> 00:49:28,966 So, do you want my number? 709 00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:31,718 You can have more time to practice your putting 710 00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:35,305 with the Potty Putter, the amazing new toilet time golf game 711 00:49:35,389 --> 00:49:38,183 that lets you practice your putting... on the potty! 712 00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:40,852 Your Potty Putter comes with its own putting green, 713 00:49:40,978 --> 00:49:44,398 made of the same professional carpet found at miniature golf courses. 714 00:49:44,481 --> 00:49:48,193 Now, practice your putting every time you take care of your other business. 715 00:49:48,318 --> 00:49:51,655 Just aim and shoot the ball into the cup. 716 00:49:51,863 --> 00:49:56,576 Just think of all that extra practice, all only 19.99. 717 00:49:56,660 --> 00:49:59,705 Let your imagination soar with a Potty Putter. 718 00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:01,832 Don't touch that dial! 719 00:50:02,374 --> 00:50:06,003 Coming up next, the champagne sounds of The Lawrence Welk Show. 720 00:50:06,128 --> 00:50:09,297 And now, here's your host, Lawrence Welk. 721 00:50:11,258 --> 00:50:13,135 [Doris] Arty Wise? 722 00:50:13,218 --> 00:50:17,097 I adore him! I used to watch him on Ed Sullivan. 723 00:50:17,305 --> 00:50:19,683 I even went to Vegas to see him once. 724 00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,895 Those are my racist family relics. 725 00:50:24,187 --> 00:50:26,398 I painted my family heirlooms. 726 00:50:27,232 --> 00:50:29,484 So, what was he like? 727 00:50:30,193 --> 00:50:31,193 Arty? 728 00:50:32,195 --> 00:50:33,195 He was a mensch. 729 00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:36,033 Stayed with me to the end. 730 00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:46,585 You've reached Al Hart at Al Hart Management. 731 00:50:46,668 --> 00:50:49,880 Please leave a message at the beep and we'll get right back to you. 732 00:50:55,302 --> 00:50:58,513 So, what about you? What were you doing back in the day? 733 00:50:58,722 --> 00:51:03,351 I was probably booking Pat Henry for Sinatra at the Fontainebleu. 734 00:51:03,477 --> 00:51:04,311 Wow! 735 00:51:04,394 --> 00:51:05,812 You are so hip. 736 00:51:07,147 --> 00:51:09,274 To be honest, I never even smoked pot. 737 00:51:09,357 --> 00:51:10,776 How is that even possible? 738 00:51:11,443 --> 00:51:13,153 I don't like to lose control. 739 00:51:14,029 --> 00:51:16,239 All right, take a hit. There you go. Oh, wow! 740 00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:18,283 That's it, okay. Hold it in. 741 00:51:18,366 --> 00:51:19,366 [blows] 742 00:51:20,535 --> 00:51:22,370 That was a good hit! 743 00:51:22,454 --> 00:51:24,289 I might as well suck on a muffler. 744 00:51:24,664 --> 00:51:26,958 One more like that and you'll be good to go. 745 00:51:28,210 --> 00:51:29,252 Here you go. 746 00:51:29,753 --> 00:51:30,837 That's good. Wonderful... 747 00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:34,966 Oh, my God. I know someone who's gonna love you. 748 00:51:36,468 --> 00:51:38,887 [Doris] I was an art teacher before I retired. 749 00:51:39,221 --> 00:51:41,932 I used to paint, but now I do these. 750 00:51:43,975 --> 00:51:45,018 [Al] They're magnificent. 751 00:51:45,852 --> 00:51:46,852 Thank you. 752 00:51:47,437 --> 00:51:48,438 No, really. 753 00:51:48,939 --> 00:51:52,067 These are like... Rodin meets Larry Flynt. 754 00:51:52,234 --> 00:51:54,236 [Doris laughs] 755 00:51:54,444 --> 00:51:57,864 I just think it's wonderful that you guys are doing this. 756 00:51:58,156 --> 00:52:01,076 It must be so exciting to be back on the road again. 757 00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:06,373 But why did he quit right before Ed Sullivan? 758 00:52:06,748 --> 00:52:09,042 You would think he'd want to go out with a bang. 759 00:52:10,585 --> 00:52:11,837 That's a good question. 760 00:52:12,295 --> 00:52:13,295 I don't know. 761 00:52:13,755 --> 00:52:16,299 See what happens when you lose control? 762 00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:19,970 Hey, where are you? 763 00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:21,471 We're supposed to have dinner. 764 00:52:21,763 --> 00:52:22,848 Listen, Buddy, 765 00:52:22,931 --> 00:52:25,308 you mind eating on your own tonight? 766 00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:28,562 Why? What's going on? 767 00:52:28,728 --> 00:52:31,189 It's a long story. 768 00:52:31,773 --> 00:52:33,024 I kind of met someone. 769 00:52:33,733 --> 00:52:34,943 It's crazy! 770 00:52:35,026 --> 00:52:36,111 Hold on. 771 00:52:36,236 --> 00:52:38,238 [woman moaning] 772 00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:40,532 She came. 773 00:52:40,615 --> 00:52:41,950 I'll explain later. 774 00:52:42,784 --> 00:52:45,744 Maybe you can just order from room service or something. What do you think? 775 00:52:45,787 --> 00:52:49,541 Sure. I'll have them send up a filet and a crack pipe. 776 00:53:14,941 --> 00:53:18,820 - I'm feeling a little strange, Doris. - Yeah. 777 00:53:20,530 --> 00:53:21,907 How y'all doing tonight? 778 00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:29,915 [Al] Ah, I'm stuffed. 779 00:53:33,043 --> 00:53:34,961 I love barbecue. 780 00:53:35,837 --> 00:53:37,339 Look at the stars. 781 00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:40,383 Oh, wow! 782 00:53:40,675 --> 00:53:42,219 - What are you doing? - Oh. 783 00:53:43,220 --> 00:53:45,805 Sometimes in special moments, 784 00:53:46,139 --> 00:53:50,060 I just like to feel the ground. You should try it. 785 00:53:52,187 --> 00:53:54,564 I never take my shoes off on a first date. 786 00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:56,608 Is this a date? 787 00:53:57,484 --> 00:53:58,485 I don't know. 788 00:53:59,569 --> 00:54:00,737 - Well... - Is it? 789 00:54:00,820 --> 00:54:03,990 Whatever it is, it's a pretty special moment. 790 00:54:04,699 --> 00:54:05,784 Don't you think? 791 00:54:09,621 --> 00:54:10,621 Yeah. 792 00:54:38,858 --> 00:54:39,859 That's very nice. 793 00:54:56,126 --> 00:54:56,960 Where am I? 794 00:54:57,127 --> 00:54:58,712 [audience laughs] 795 00:54:59,004 --> 00:55:00,255 Oh, you find that funny? 796 00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:03,800 An old man is lost and you find that funny? 797 00:55:08,096 --> 00:55:09,222 I discovered him. 798 00:55:11,474 --> 00:55:12,474 Twice. 799 00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:48,762 [Al and Buddy singing] 800 00:56:00,732 --> 00:56:01,732 Okay! 801 00:56:22,170 --> 00:56:24,923 So, what's your plan? 802 00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:27,342 Or are you winging it? 803 00:56:27,842 --> 00:56:28,842 What do you mean? 804 00:56:29,427 --> 00:56:30,762 I mean the girl. 805 00:56:31,846 --> 00:56:32,889 What are you doing? 806 00:56:33,765 --> 00:56:34,765 I don't know. 807 00:56:35,725 --> 00:56:38,436 In all my years, I've never picked up a girl on the road. 808 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:40,980 Is she gonna go all the way to New York with us? 809 00:56:41,606 --> 00:56:42,690 Would you mind if she did? 810 00:56:42,774 --> 00:56:45,026 I don't mind. It's your life. 811 00:56:45,110 --> 00:56:46,110 You see? 812 00:56:46,861 --> 00:56:47,861 You do mind. 813 00:56:47,904 --> 00:56:50,784 There are just certain things I might have wanted to talk to you about... 814 00:56:50,865 --> 00:56:51,950 What certain things? 815 00:56:52,117 --> 00:56:54,702 Stuff to... talk about. 816 00:56:55,286 --> 00:56:56,287 So, we talk. 817 00:56:58,498 --> 00:56:59,958 Forget it. To hell with me! 818 00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:05,338 Okay, Slim Jims, Cheetos, pork rinds, cookies! 819 00:57:06,673 --> 00:57:07,673 Hello. 820 00:57:08,174 --> 00:57:09,174 Hi! 821 00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:12,261 Hi! 822 00:57:32,282 --> 00:57:33,825 That's the Palmer House. 823 00:57:33,908 --> 00:57:35,493 I booked you in the Empire Room. 824 00:57:35,577 --> 00:57:37,871 - Remember you were opening for Al Hirt? - Bobby Hackett. 825 00:57:37,954 --> 00:57:39,247 Bullshit! 826 00:57:42,709 --> 00:57:44,127 Mister Kelly's was right there. 827 00:57:44,210 --> 00:57:46,129 You played on a bill with Barbra Streisand. 828 00:57:46,212 --> 00:57:47,755 She was probably 19 years old. 829 00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:49,090 I tried to bang her. 830 00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:52,886 Back there, that was the Gate of Horn. You opened for Peter, Paul and Mary there. 831 00:57:52,969 --> 00:57:53,970 The Kingston Trio. 832 00:57:54,053 --> 00:57:57,056 [Al] All those great clubs - gone. 833 00:57:57,515 --> 00:57:59,184 Where the hell do people go now? 834 00:58:31,257 --> 00:58:33,009 - What are you doing? - I don't know. 835 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,220 Why aren't you in there with her? 836 00:58:36,095 --> 00:58:36,971 I don't know. 837 00:58:37,055 --> 00:58:39,933 - Isn't that the point? - We never discussed it. 838 00:58:40,016 --> 00:58:42,018 I'm out of practice, I don't know what I'm doing. 839 00:58:42,101 --> 00:58:44,771 Isn't it obvious that she wants you 840 00:58:44,854 --> 00:58:46,934 - to spend the night with her? - You don't know that. 841 00:58:46,981 --> 00:58:49,150 Well, why the hell else would she be here? 842 00:58:49,234 --> 00:58:52,070 - I don't want to be presumptious, okay? - Oh, God! 843 00:58:52,153 --> 00:58:53,738 You are so nuts! 844 00:58:53,821 --> 00:58:56,157 Hey, guys, you want to keep it down out here? 845 00:58:56,241 --> 00:58:58,535 - What's going on? - Don't worry, get back in the room. 846 00:58:58,618 --> 00:59:01,704 You think you're hot shit 'cause you're in Jerry Springer! 847 00:59:01,788 --> 00:59:03,623 - Loser! - What if she says no? 848 00:59:04,666 --> 00:59:05,917 I can't take the rejection. 849 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,253 Then you can spend the night in here with me. 850 00:59:08,336 --> 00:59:09,379 You ask her. 851 00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:11,714 Just ask her where I'm sleeping, that's all. 852 00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:13,841 Don't... Hey, no. 853 00:59:13,967 --> 00:59:16,386 I'm sorry, I don't want to know. 854 00:59:17,136 --> 00:59:18,763 Look, Al... 855 00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:24,394 she's a free love hippie spirit who went to Woodstock. 856 00:59:24,727 --> 00:59:27,021 If you don't go in there, I will. 857 00:59:31,776 --> 00:59:32,819 I gotta take this. 858 00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:37,323 Vic! How are you? 859 00:59:37,907 --> 00:59:39,325 I've been waiting for your call. 860 00:59:39,951 --> 00:59:41,077 [laughs] 861 00:59:41,327 --> 00:59:42,745 Yeah. So, what's the latest? 862 00:59:59,637 --> 01:00:00,763 [Doris] I'm so sorry. 863 01:00:02,056 --> 01:00:03,057 [Al] Who am I kidding? 864 01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:06,269 You can't just get somebody on The Tonight Show. 865 01:00:07,478 --> 01:00:10,773 Well, look at all that you've accomplished. 866 01:00:10,857 --> 01:00:13,943 I would say you've been a great success. 867 01:00:16,279 --> 01:00:18,740 I think it's wonderful that you're doing what you love, 868 01:00:18,823 --> 01:00:23,369 but what about when you can't do it anymore? 869 01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:31,127 I will never play canasta! 870 01:00:31,794 --> 01:00:35,214 I will not take the short bus to the mall ever again! 871 01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:40,094 All I know how to do is work. 872 01:00:41,596 --> 01:00:44,223 I don't know who I am without it. 873 01:00:49,604 --> 01:00:53,483 You know what I do when I have a really hard decision to make? 874 01:00:54,442 --> 01:00:55,442 Mushrooms. 875 01:00:55,902 --> 01:00:56,986 Shrooms? 876 01:00:57,654 --> 01:01:00,823 Jesus Christ! I'm falling for a pusher. 877 01:01:00,948 --> 01:01:02,825 It's a beautiful night, Al, 878 01:01:02,909 --> 01:01:05,203 and only good things happen when we let go. 879 01:01:07,705 --> 01:01:09,957 Uh... Okay. 880 01:01:38,861 --> 01:01:42,115 [Buddy] I am thinking about a song. 881 01:01:43,199 --> 01:01:44,199 What? 882 01:01:45,034 --> 01:01:47,662 I'm thinking about bringing a song into the act. 883 01:01:47,745 --> 01:01:50,665 I think it will be a great thing for The Tonight Show. 884 01:01:51,624 --> 01:01:52,624 I don't like it. 885 01:01:52,667 --> 01:01:55,336 - Why not? - I don't like when comedians sing. 886 01:01:56,087 --> 01:01:57,171 I hate musicals. 887 01:01:57,255 --> 01:02:00,425 When somebody just breaks out into song for no damn reason... 888 01:02:00,508 --> 01:02:02,635 [Al sings a note] 889 01:02:02,802 --> 01:02:04,178 That makes me sad. 890 01:02:04,595 --> 01:02:05,680 I love musicals. 891 01:02:06,889 --> 01:02:08,224 How are you feeling, Buddy? 892 01:02:08,307 --> 01:02:10,476 Like a chaperone on prom night. 893 01:02:15,648 --> 01:02:17,775 Oh, my gosh, look at you guys! 894 01:02:18,359 --> 01:02:20,111 Wow, what an entrance! 895 01:02:20,194 --> 01:02:21,320 Hey, Jimbo! 896 01:02:21,404 --> 01:02:23,656 Al Hart. How are you? 897 01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:25,867 Never better, man. I want you to meet somebody. 898 01:02:27,076 --> 01:02:28,076 Buddy Green. 899 01:02:30,037 --> 01:02:32,623 - Wow, what an honor! - Oh, thank you. 900 01:02:32,707 --> 01:02:35,209 I heard you took a few years off, like your entire career? 901 01:02:35,293 --> 01:02:37,044 [laughs] Yeah, a few. 902 01:02:37,128 --> 01:02:39,255 You look fantastic, Jimbo. Did you lose weight? 903 01:02:39,338 --> 01:02:41,424 - I put on 75 pounds. - Oh, that's what I mean. 904 01:02:41,507 --> 01:02:44,260 You look good for a fat guy. Your clothes are very stylish, though. 905 01:02:44,343 --> 01:02:46,679 - I bought these at Goodwill. - Stylish in 1985. 906 01:02:46,763 --> 01:02:47,847 How's your beautiful wife? 907 01:02:47,930 --> 01:02:49,098 She left me two years ago. 908 01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:50,057 Ah, good riddance. 909 01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:51,517 - Never liked her. - Hey! 910 01:02:51,601 --> 01:02:53,019 Are you stealing my bit? 911 01:02:53,102 --> 01:02:55,563 Wait a minute. The Agents is your bit? I thought it was Al's. 912 01:02:55,646 --> 01:02:57,857 Al wouldn't know funny if it blew him. 913 01:02:57,940 --> 01:02:59,025 I think he's hilarious. 914 01:02:59,275 --> 01:03:01,486 For a manager, but as a manager... 915 01:03:02,361 --> 01:03:03,362 He booked you here. 916 01:03:03,446 --> 01:03:04,739 He drove us here. 917 01:03:04,822 --> 01:03:06,741 - He's a terrible driver. - He drove from LA! 918 01:03:06,824 --> 01:03:07,867 Like a pilot. 919 01:03:09,368 --> 01:03:11,871 - All right. - Jimbo, I want you to meet Doris. 920 01:03:11,954 --> 01:03:12,954 Doris, Jimbo. 921 01:03:13,414 --> 01:03:14,414 I'm the mascot! 922 01:03:14,957 --> 01:03:18,669 Look at you. You're beautiful! You're a two knuckler. 923 01:03:20,087 --> 01:03:21,087 What's a two knuckler? 924 01:03:22,173 --> 01:03:23,173 [all laugh] 925 01:03:23,549 --> 01:03:25,760 All right, here, let me show you your dressing room. 926 01:03:26,052 --> 01:03:28,452 - Come on. We'll be back out soon. - Yeah, we'll be right in. 927 01:03:29,013 --> 01:03:30,598 I'm starting to feel a little tingly. 928 01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:34,644 God, you look good! That's a beautiful dress. 929 01:03:37,021 --> 01:03:38,314 I don't know, I feel... 930 01:03:39,232 --> 01:03:41,943 Look at the colors, even at night! 931 01:03:43,986 --> 01:03:45,279 It's good. 932 01:03:45,488 --> 01:03:48,241 I feel footloose and fancy free. 933 01:03:50,451 --> 01:03:51,451 Grandpa! 934 01:03:57,208 --> 01:03:58,626 How strong is this shit? 935 01:03:59,293 --> 01:04:01,087 I don't think you're hallucinating yet. 936 01:04:01,170 --> 01:04:02,088 - Hey! - Jeannie! 937 01:04:02,171 --> 01:04:03,047 Hi! 938 01:04:03,172 --> 01:04:04,257 What are you doing here? 939 01:04:05,591 --> 01:04:08,177 - This is Charlie Green. It's Buddy's son. - Hi. 940 01:04:10,596 --> 01:04:11,596 Is this real? 941 01:04:12,056 --> 01:04:13,641 - This is Charlie Green? - Yeah. 942 01:04:13,724 --> 01:04:14,724 This is real? 943 01:04:16,644 --> 01:04:20,022 I remember you when you were just a small girl. 944 01:04:20,857 --> 01:04:23,276 I'm kidding you, Charlie. Your dad talks about you a lot. 945 01:04:23,359 --> 01:04:24,527 Is he okay? 946 01:04:24,610 --> 01:04:26,028 He's in top form. 947 01:04:26,112 --> 01:04:28,781 He just went in if you want to, you know... 948 01:04:30,157 --> 01:04:31,343 - Okay, I'm gonna go in. - Okay. 949 01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:33,077 - Excuse me, my dad is inside. - Okay. 950 01:04:33,619 --> 01:04:35,830 You've grown into a fine young man, Charlie. 951 01:04:38,124 --> 01:04:39,124 Okay. All right. 952 01:04:39,917 --> 01:04:40,917 A little uptight, huh? 953 01:04:41,752 --> 01:04:43,921 He's upset. You never called. 954 01:04:44,005 --> 01:04:46,090 - I didn't call? - You know you didn't call. 955 01:04:46,173 --> 01:04:48,134 - I could have sworn we just talked. - Grandpa! 956 01:04:48,217 --> 01:04:50,636 I've heard so many lovely things about you. 957 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,388 Oh, thank you. 958 01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:56,058 - I'm sorry, who are you? - I'm Doris. 959 01:04:56,142 --> 01:04:57,602 I met Doris in Kansas. 960 01:04:58,728 --> 01:04:59,728 Not bad, huh? 961 01:05:00,479 --> 01:05:02,106 Grandpa's still got game. 962 01:05:02,523 --> 01:05:03,523 Grandpa... 963 01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:05,734 Can we talk for a sec? 964 01:05:05,776 --> 01:05:08,863 Sure, you two talk. I'm gonna go pet the horse. 965 01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:10,322 Okay. 966 01:05:10,865 --> 01:05:12,950 His name is Lincoln, as in Abraham. 967 01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,034 No relation. 968 01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:17,121 It's really good to see you, kid. 969 01:05:19,081 --> 01:05:20,708 It's good to see you, Dad. 970 01:05:22,209 --> 01:05:23,669 But what the hell are you doing? 971 01:05:24,962 --> 01:05:26,130 I'm on tour. 972 01:05:27,381 --> 01:05:28,966 Since when does my father, 973 01:05:29,050 --> 01:05:33,721 Dr Edward Green, podiatrist, go on tour? 974 01:05:34,013 --> 01:05:36,682 You know, nobody ever asked their parents: 975 01:05:36,807 --> 01:05:39,685 "What did you do before you were a parent?" 976 01:05:41,228 --> 01:05:42,730 This is what I did, Charlie. 977 01:05:43,981 --> 01:05:45,775 I do not understand. 978 01:05:46,442 --> 01:05:48,069 I was a comic. 979 01:05:48,653 --> 01:05:51,948 And I could have been maybe big, maybe not. 980 01:05:52,323 --> 01:05:56,077 But I didn't stick around long enough to find out. 981 01:05:56,160 --> 01:05:58,621 What the fuck are you talking about? 982 01:05:58,704 --> 01:06:00,998 Are you losing your mind, too? 983 01:06:01,082 --> 01:06:02,291 I had a cousin, Murray. 984 01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:08,923 He left his wife and kids and he moved in with a man named Little Leo. 985 01:06:09,757 --> 01:06:14,220 Nobody ever asked Murray, "What did you do before you were a parent?" 986 01:06:15,846 --> 01:06:17,139 Are you gay, too, Dad? 987 01:06:18,849 --> 01:06:19,934 No. 988 01:06:20,893 --> 01:06:22,687 I'm a closeted comedian. 989 01:06:23,270 --> 01:06:25,398 [Al] That life isn't for me, sweetheart. 990 01:06:26,023 --> 01:06:27,149 I felt like an inmate. 991 01:06:27,233 --> 01:06:29,026 So, you drag Buddy into this? 992 01:06:29,110 --> 01:06:31,195 I didn't drag him anywhere. He came. 993 01:06:31,278 --> 01:06:32,697 This was his idea. 994 01:06:33,614 --> 01:06:37,076 Maybe I put the idea in his head, but it was his decision. 995 01:06:37,159 --> 01:06:39,078 He shouldn’t be exerting himself. 996 01:06:39,161 --> 01:06:42,206 Exerting? The guy was humping every night back at the home! 997 01:06:42,289 --> 01:06:43,916 Lucky bastard! 998 01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:46,419 Okay. Grandpa, this is dangerous! 999 01:06:46,585 --> 01:06:50,256 How is it dangerous? I mean, he’s in better shape than me. 1000 01:06:51,674 --> 01:06:53,259 You don't know, do you? 1001 01:06:55,136 --> 01:06:57,388 Why are you so upset? Why? 1002 01:06:57,638 --> 01:07:00,182 Really? None of this makes any sense to you? 1003 01:07:00,266 --> 01:07:01,350 Okay, hey! 1004 01:07:01,767 --> 01:07:04,353 You were missing. Vanished. 1005 01:07:04,937 --> 01:07:08,482 And now I find you living some secret life as Rodney Dangerfield, 1006 01:07:08,566 --> 01:07:11,944 and I'm just supposed to be thrilled that you suddenly found yourself at 80? 1007 01:07:12,653 --> 01:07:13,653 Yes. 1008 01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:17,033 Charlie, I know what I’m doing 1009 01:07:17,658 --> 01:07:19,076 I'm a grown man. 1010 01:07:21,579 --> 01:07:22,955 You're also a sick man. 1011 01:07:23,831 --> 01:07:27,376 Why do you even bring that up? What does that have to do with anything? 1012 01:07:27,710 --> 01:07:28,836 I feel fine. 1013 01:07:32,423 --> 01:07:33,758 Oh, my God... 1014 01:07:35,509 --> 01:07:37,094 It's pancreatic. 1015 01:07:37,219 --> 01:07:38,929 Oh, Jesus! 1016 01:07:39,847 --> 01:07:43,100 That's... the worst kind. I... 1017 01:07:43,517 --> 01:07:45,728 Charlie thinks that this trip could kill him. 1018 01:07:46,979 --> 01:07:49,065 I don’t know how to process this right now. 1019 01:07:49,690 --> 01:07:51,484 Grandpa, are you all right? 1020 01:07:52,526 --> 01:07:53,526 Here. Are you Okay? 1021 01:07:54,236 --> 01:07:55,738 It's just the shrooms. 1022 01:07:56,572 --> 01:07:57,572 How bad is he? 1023 01:07:58,240 --> 01:07:59,283 It's terminal. 1024 01:08:00,493 --> 01:08:01,827 What do you mean, "shrooms"? 1025 01:08:09,293 --> 01:08:13,839 When I was a kid, my friends always used to want to eat dinner at our house. 1026 01:08:16,509 --> 01:08:19,929 I couldn’t understand it because Mom wasn’t that great a cook. 1027 01:08:22,598 --> 01:08:23,598 But almost every day, 1028 01:08:23,641 --> 01:08:26,102 someone would ask, “Hey, Charlie, can I come over for dinner?” 1029 01:08:27,353 --> 01:08:29,438 For a second, I thought I was popular. 1030 01:08:31,148 --> 01:08:32,483 You cracked those kids up. 1031 01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:35,528 You were always the funniest dad in the world. 1032 01:08:36,529 --> 01:08:37,988 You didn't give up a career. 1033 01:08:38,072 --> 01:08:41,200 You just... found a different audience. 1034 01:08:42,451 --> 01:08:45,162 I want my kids to have that experience while they can. 1035 01:08:45,246 --> 01:08:47,039 They deserve to laugh like that. 1036 01:08:47,998 --> 01:08:49,750 They haven't heard them all yet. 1037 01:08:58,551 --> 01:08:59,551 Hey... 1038 01:09:02,680 --> 01:09:04,682 Oh, Jesus, come on! 1039 01:09:05,683 --> 01:09:07,476 Don't be so dramatic. 1040 01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:09,228 What am I supposed to do? 1041 01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:15,442 Charlie, I've had a great life. 1042 01:09:16,402 --> 01:09:19,530 I didn't live it exactly the way I thought I would, 1043 01:09:20,114 --> 01:09:23,826 but at least let me die the way I want. 1044 01:09:28,622 --> 01:09:30,958 I should have known. All that pot he smokes... 1045 01:09:31,375 --> 01:09:32,918 He calls it his medicine. 1046 01:09:34,545 --> 01:09:37,214 Al, he’s all settled. I’m gonna get you to the table. 1047 01:09:37,882 --> 01:09:38,882 Mascot? 1048 01:09:40,050 --> 01:09:42,011 How's everybody doing? 1049 01:09:42,845 --> 01:09:46,724 He's making a comeback, actually, after 50 years. 1050 01:09:46,807 --> 01:09:49,560 50. That's 5-0, folks. 1051 01:09:49,810 --> 01:09:52,813 I am serious as a heart attack. I hope he doesn't have one. 1052 01:09:54,899 --> 01:09:57,318 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the stage 1053 01:09:57,401 --> 01:09:59,028 Buddy Green! 1054 01:10:10,956 --> 01:10:11,956 I love you. 1055 01:10:13,834 --> 01:10:14,960 Okay, here's the deal. 1056 01:10:15,753 --> 01:10:18,297 [Al thinking] You are out of your mind. 1057 01:10:20,507 --> 01:10:24,595 ♪ When the day turns to night ♪ 1058 01:10:25,554 --> 01:10:28,724 ♪ And the sun is out of sight ♪ 1059 01:10:29,767 --> 01:10:30,643 ♪ And the moon... ♪ 1060 01:10:30,726 --> 01:10:31,977 Is he singing? 1061 01:10:32,353 --> 01:10:33,353 No. 1062 01:10:33,604 --> 01:10:37,483 Now, you're hallucinating. 1063 01:10:39,860 --> 01:10:43,781 ♪ When the band begins to play ♪ 1064 01:10:44,531 --> 01:10:47,952 ♪ And the crowd starts to sway ♪ 1065 01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:52,289 ♪ My nerves never fray ♪ 1066 01:10:52,373 --> 01:10:54,833 ♪ I've found my ray ♪ 1067 01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:56,960 ♪ Of light... ♪ 1068 01:10:58,504 --> 01:11:00,089 Are you seeing this? 1069 01:11:00,339 --> 01:11:01,339 No. 1070 01:11:02,925 --> 01:11:04,927 ♪ But clouds always scatter ♪ 1071 01:11:05,010 --> 01:11:08,389 ♪ And we know that's true ♪ 1072 01:11:11,809 --> 01:11:15,145 ♪ When the footlights are hot ♪ 1073 01:11:16,230 --> 01:11:19,483 ♪ But the audience is not ♪ 1074 01:11:20,651 --> 01:11:23,862 ♪ My stomach's not in knots ♪ 1075 01:11:23,946 --> 01:11:26,448 ♪ I've found my spot ♪ 1076 01:11:28,784 --> 01:11:30,661 ♪ 'Cause life will bite ♪ 1077 01:11:32,037 --> 01:11:34,039 ♪ Don't fight or flight ♪ 1078 01:11:34,748 --> 01:11:35,833 ♪ Just find ♪ 1079 01:11:37,042 --> 01:11:39,920 ♪ Your light ♪ 1080 01:11:42,548 --> 01:11:44,383 [audience cheers] 1081 01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:15,247 Mr Sullivan? Ed? 1082 01:12:15,873 --> 01:12:17,499 Grandpa, where are you going? 1083 01:12:17,958 --> 01:12:20,419 Hey, Al, thanks for making my dad so happy. 1084 01:12:21,420 --> 01:12:22,838 Hey, Buddy! 1085 01:12:22,921 --> 01:12:23,921 ♪ You've worked hard ♪ 1086 01:12:23,964 --> 01:12:26,175 ♪ That's a fact ♪ 1087 01:12:26,633 --> 01:12:33,223 ♪ Now, it's time to relax ♪ 1088 01:12:41,357 --> 01:12:43,359 [train whistle blows] 1089 01:12:43,484 --> 01:12:46,695 Do you know what you need, Al? We need to go dancing. 1090 01:13:50,050 --> 01:13:53,679 ♪ When life pulls a gun ♪ 1091 01:13:54,179 --> 01:13:57,558 ♪ And it stops being fun ♪ 1092 01:13:58,767 --> 01:14:02,646 ♪ And the world weighs a ton ♪ 1093 01:14:02,896 --> 01:14:05,732 ♪ Find the sun ♪ 1094 01:14:07,901 --> 01:14:11,697 ♪ When a girl meets a guy ♪ 1095 01:14:12,489 --> 01:14:16,577 ♪ Who are we to ask why? ♪ 1096 01:14:16,743 --> 01:14:21,290 ♪ If we jump, we can fly ♪ 1097 01:14:21,415 --> 01:14:25,085 ♪ And I'm sky high ♪ 1098 01:14:26,628 --> 01:14:30,549 ♪ Life is about the things we don't know ♪ 1099 01:14:30,966 --> 01:14:34,970 ♪ Look what can happen when you go ♪ 1100 01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:40,017 ♪ Go, go, go ♪ 1101 01:14:41,894 --> 01:14:46,231 ♪ When you give up the fight ♪ 1102 01:14:46,398 --> 01:14:50,944 ♪ And you exit stage right ♪ 1103 01:14:51,028 --> 01:14:54,990 ♪ When you're all dressed in white ♪ 1104 01:14:55,491 --> 01:14:59,536 ♪ It's all right ♪ 1105 01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:02,498 ♪ You paid your debts ♪ 1106 01:15:02,789 --> 01:15:04,500 ♪ There's no regrets ♪ 1107 01:15:05,083 --> 01:15:11,757 ♪ From the lowest low to the highest high ♪ 1108 01:15:14,510 --> 01:15:17,596 ♪ Just hold on tight ♪ 1109 01:15:18,138 --> 01:15:25,103 ♪ And find your light ♪ 1110 01:15:26,438 --> 01:15:30,234 ♪ Find your light ♪ 1111 01:15:31,151 --> 01:15:36,865 ♪ Find your light ♪ 1112 01:15:55,092 --> 01:15:56,134 [door closes] 1113 01:16:03,183 --> 01:16:06,937 "Dear Al, I suck at goodbyes. 1114 01:16:09,314 --> 01:16:12,651 That was the best night I've had in years. 1115 01:16:13,151 --> 01:16:14,319 You're amazing, 1116 01:16:14,403 --> 01:16:17,990 but you and Buddy can use some space right now. 1117 01:16:19,449 --> 01:16:23,537 Remember to take your shoes off and feel the ground sometimes. 1118 01:16:24,746 --> 01:16:26,873 Love, Doris." 1119 01:16:32,462 --> 01:16:33,505 Ah. 1120 01:16:33,797 --> 01:16:35,799 Where did you disappear to last night? 1121 01:16:36,341 --> 01:16:40,178 The best show I ever gave in my whole life. 1122 01:16:42,389 --> 01:16:45,475 Where did you find it? I thought I lost it. 1123 01:16:45,559 --> 01:16:47,561 And wait a minute... 1124 01:16:47,811 --> 01:16:49,521 have you seen this? 1125 01:16:50,147 --> 01:16:52,232 Second page of the entertainment section. 1126 01:16:52,316 --> 01:16:54,901 Fallon's people will love this. 1127 01:16:55,319 --> 01:16:58,363 If we hit the road now, we can make Youngstown by dinner. 1128 01:16:58,447 --> 01:17:01,325 - We can make New York by lunch... - It's not happening. 1129 01:17:02,367 --> 01:17:03,367 What? 1130 01:17:04,411 --> 01:17:06,580 Vic didn't come through. I'm sorry. 1131 01:17:08,373 --> 01:17:11,460 Look, we did it. We played all the way to Chicago. 1132 01:17:11,627 --> 01:17:13,545 Let's go back and celebrate. 1133 01:17:14,129 --> 01:17:15,631 What the fuck is this? 1134 01:17:15,714 --> 01:17:19,926 Do you think that I give a shit about The Tonight Show? 1135 01:17:21,011 --> 01:17:22,888 That was your idea, anyway! 1136 01:17:24,222 --> 01:17:25,766 I'm going to New York! 1137 01:17:25,849 --> 01:17:26,933 It's finished, Buddy. 1138 01:17:28,477 --> 01:17:32,314 It's time to... you know, retire. 1139 01:17:38,737 --> 01:17:43,742 You drag me through the dregs of third-rate nightclubs 1140 01:17:43,825 --> 01:17:45,661 so I can shit my guts out, 1141 01:17:45,744 --> 01:17:49,414 almost get lynched in Lubbock with that kooky broad 1142 01:17:49,498 --> 01:17:54,961 and now you're telling me... that I've got to quit? 1143 01:17:55,837 --> 01:17:59,007 - Maybe that is why Max Becker fired you. - That's bullshit. 1144 01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:02,886 Maybe that is why Max Becker is doing the Colbert show 1145 01:18:02,969 --> 01:18:06,556 and you are trying to drag me back to that fucking home. 1146 01:18:06,640 --> 01:18:08,016 That's bullshit and you know it! 1147 01:18:08,642 --> 01:18:11,395 Becker's playing Colbert. Well, fuck him. And fuck you. 1148 01:18:11,978 --> 01:18:13,146 Fuck me? 1149 01:18:13,480 --> 01:18:15,107 You're the one who's quitting. 1150 01:18:15,190 --> 01:18:17,776 Oh, really? You want to talk about quitting? 1151 01:18:17,859 --> 01:18:19,319 You fucked me over, Buddy. 1152 01:18:19,403 --> 01:18:22,239 - Oh, here we go. - You almost killed my career. 1153 01:18:22,322 --> 01:18:24,449 You let me holding my dick, just like Arty. 1154 01:18:24,533 --> 01:18:27,411 - I should have anticipated this. - Just like Becker. 1155 01:18:27,494 --> 01:18:29,496 - You all quit on me, Buddy. - [Buddy mumbles] 1156 01:18:29,579 --> 01:18:32,082 My whole life, I never quit on one soul. 1157 01:18:32,666 --> 01:18:33,917 Until now. 1158 01:18:38,547 --> 01:18:39,965 [Al sighs] 1159 01:18:42,217 --> 01:18:43,677 I know you're sick, Buddy. 1160 01:18:44,886 --> 01:18:46,054 Jeannie told me, yeah. 1161 01:18:48,223 --> 01:18:49,766 Motherfucker... 1162 01:18:51,768 --> 01:18:53,103 Why didn't you tell me? 1163 01:18:54,479 --> 01:18:56,690 I was gonna tell you after Kansas. 1164 01:18:58,066 --> 01:19:00,068 But that's when you brought the girl along. 1165 01:19:00,527 --> 01:19:02,112 Christ, sucking... 1166 01:19:03,780 --> 01:19:07,159 terminal goddamn pancreatic bullshit. 1167 01:19:07,409 --> 01:19:08,409 I... 1168 01:19:11,329 --> 01:19:16,835 I could have... two more months or maybe a year. 1169 01:19:18,044 --> 01:19:20,172 Fucking doctors can't make up their minds. 1170 01:19:20,589 --> 01:19:25,677 It's like the guy whose doctor tells him, "You've got six months to live." 1171 01:19:26,678 --> 01:19:30,849 And the guy says, "I can't pay the bill." 1172 01:19:31,725 --> 01:19:35,729 And the doctor says, "Okay, I'll give you another six months." 1173 01:19:38,523 --> 01:19:41,193 I don't regret the choices I've made, Al. 1174 01:19:42,235 --> 01:19:43,235 But... 1175 01:19:44,863 --> 01:19:46,323 If we quit now... 1176 01:19:47,574 --> 01:19:50,160 that will be the only thing... 1177 01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:55,832 this dying man will truly regret. 1178 01:20:00,295 --> 01:20:02,714 Way to fucking milk that disease! 1179 01:20:11,056 --> 01:20:12,056 Hold it! 1180 01:20:12,516 --> 01:20:13,642 Oh, shit! 1181 01:20:14,100 --> 01:20:15,435 - Shit? - Shit! 1182 01:20:16,269 --> 01:20:17,896 - Shit. - We're not stopping you. 1183 01:20:17,979 --> 01:20:18,979 We're going with you. 1184 01:20:19,022 --> 01:20:19,856 No shit? 1185 01:20:19,940 --> 01:20:21,066 - No shit! - Shotgun! 1186 01:20:22,442 --> 01:20:23,610 ♪ I'll show you around ♪ 1187 01:20:23,693 --> 01:20:24,736 ♪ I love it ♪ 1188 01:20:24,820 --> 01:20:27,113 ♪ Bet your bottom dollar You'll lose your blues ♪ 1189 01:20:27,197 --> 01:20:28,490 ♪ In Chicago ♪ 1190 01:20:28,907 --> 01:20:30,200 ♪ Chicago ♪ 1191 01:20:30,283 --> 01:20:33,745 ♪ The town That Billy Sunday could not shut down... ♪ 1192 01:20:33,829 --> 01:20:35,747 - Who's Billy Sunday? - Some asshole. 1193 01:20:35,831 --> 01:20:38,458 - ♪Boys and girls together ♪ - Yeah. 1194 01:20:38,542 --> 01:20:41,086 ♪ Me and Mamie O'Rourke ♪ 1195 01:20:41,461 --> 01:20:43,964 ♪ We tripped the light fantastic ♪ 1196 01:20:44,214 --> 01:20:48,385 ♪ On the sidewalks of New York... ♪ 1197 01:21:29,551 --> 01:21:30,551 [Max]It's instant. 1198 01:21:30,969 --> 01:21:33,346 I don't have a coffee maker. I don't like clutter. 1199 01:21:34,806 --> 01:21:36,516 That's a touching story, Al. 1200 01:21:37,142 --> 01:21:38,560 I really feel for the guy. 1201 01:21:39,227 --> 01:21:40,437 He should have a shot. 1202 01:21:41,021 --> 01:21:43,023 Especially at the Ed Sullivan Theater. 1203 01:21:43,106 --> 01:21:49,029 That would be... poetic and satisfying, I'm sure. 1204 01:21:52,699 --> 01:21:54,534 But not in my slot! 1205 01:21:58,705 --> 01:22:00,790 You got a lot of years ahead of you, Max. 1206 01:22:01,541 --> 01:22:02,876 Not to mention... 1207 01:22:02,959 --> 01:22:06,504 and I'm not trying to play the guilt card, but you kind of owe me one. 1208 01:22:07,339 --> 01:22:08,840 I'm sorry, refresh my memory. 1209 01:22:08,924 --> 01:22:10,926 Did you not get your 10%? 1210 01:22:11,134 --> 01:22:14,888 Is there some outstanding balance I don't know about? 1211 01:22:14,971 --> 01:22:16,598 You know what I'm talking about. 1212 01:22:16,723 --> 01:22:18,725 police [sirens ring] 1213 01:22:18,808 --> 01:22:20,060 - That was... - Look, Max, 1214 01:22:20,143 --> 01:22:23,271 I didn't come here looking for an apology or a handout. 1215 01:22:24,022 --> 01:22:29,069 I came to appeal... to you... as a human being. 1216 01:22:30,362 --> 01:22:32,447 I'm not a human being. I'm a comedian! 1217 01:22:32,739 --> 01:22:35,283 A comedian with serious fucking money troubles! 1218 01:22:36,117 --> 01:22:38,828 Look, do I feel bad that I left you? 1219 01:22:38,912 --> 01:22:41,289 Sure. Likewise, I feel bad for your friend. 1220 01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:42,790 But... 1221 01:22:43,833 --> 01:22:45,669 But too fucking bad! 1222 01:22:46,169 --> 01:22:50,882 I got two mortgages I can't afford, I got two ex-wives, 1223 01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:55,220 who are fucking serious bloodsucking vampires 1224 01:22:55,428 --> 01:22:57,889 and a kid who's in rehab for the second time. 1225 01:22:58,098 --> 01:23:02,143 I get on Colbert and my quote skyrockets. 1226 01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:05,480 My profile rises. 1227 01:23:05,855 --> 01:23:07,107 The offers come in. 1228 01:23:07,691 --> 01:23:09,484 I'm making money again. 1229 01:23:10,110 --> 01:23:12,988 I'm sorry your friend's gonna die, but he had his shot. 1230 01:23:13,446 --> 01:23:17,117 I need this, Al, because my life depends on it. 1231 01:23:17,325 --> 01:23:19,327 [car horns honk] 1232 01:23:21,913 --> 01:23:22,913 What do you want? 1233 01:23:24,040 --> 01:23:25,291 Huh? 1234 01:23:25,917 --> 01:23:27,711 How much do you want for your slot? 1235 01:23:29,754 --> 01:23:31,047 Are you bribing me? 1236 01:23:32,048 --> 01:23:33,508 I call it a soborno. 1237 01:23:34,801 --> 01:23:38,096 So, tell me... how much do you need? 1238 01:23:41,933 --> 01:23:43,309 I think you should go. 1239 01:23:55,530 --> 01:24:00,702 The first comic I ever booked got paid 50 bucks. 1240 01:24:01,619 --> 01:24:03,288 My take was $5. 1241 01:24:04,122 --> 01:24:06,124 That was in 1963. 1242 01:24:07,333 --> 01:24:14,007 And that $5 is still sitting at the bottom of a big, fat, useless bank account 1243 01:24:14,090 --> 01:24:18,928 with a million more fives that never bought me a scrap of joy 1244 01:24:19,262 --> 01:24:20,847 without the ability to earn it. 1245 01:24:22,432 --> 01:24:26,352 You see, I'm one of those guys who didn't work to live. 1246 01:24:26,436 --> 01:24:27,896 I live to work. 1247 01:24:29,105 --> 01:24:30,105 I live to work. 1248 01:24:31,399 --> 01:24:32,525 [sighs] But now... 1249 01:24:32,942 --> 01:24:34,235 Now, I don't work. 1250 01:24:35,153 --> 01:24:37,489 Which means I have to figure out how to live. 1251 01:24:39,991 --> 01:24:43,286 So, I don't have a fucking life right now, Max. 1252 01:24:43,953 --> 01:24:45,121 But I need one. 1253 01:24:46,289 --> 01:24:47,874 And you're gonna give it to me. 1254 01:24:49,584 --> 01:24:51,044 So, I'll ask one more time. 1255 01:24:52,420 --> 01:24:55,465 How much do you need to let us have your slot? 1256 01:24:58,885 --> 01:25:02,597 [announcer] It's The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. 1257 01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:05,141 Tonight, Ryan Reynolds. 1258 01:25:05,767 --> 01:25:11,022 Plus, Stephen welcomes Bernadette Peters and comedian Max Becker. 1259 01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:16,236 Live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's... 1260 01:25:16,611 --> 01:25:18,404 How you feeling, Mr Green? 1261 01:25:19,405 --> 01:25:20,990 Could you turn that thing off? 1262 01:25:32,961 --> 01:25:33,961 You're good. 1263 01:25:47,892 --> 01:25:49,060 You look great. 1264 01:25:49,894 --> 01:25:51,312 I look like shit. 1265 01:25:51,646 --> 01:25:53,273 A big, steaming pile of it. 1266 01:25:54,357 --> 01:25:57,443 - But your tuxedo... - My tuxedo's older than me. 1267 01:25:59,362 --> 01:26:00,738 At least you have an act. 1268 01:26:00,822 --> 01:26:02,282 I don't have an act. 1269 01:26:02,615 --> 01:26:04,534 Yeah, you don't. That's 'cause you're senile. 1270 01:26:04,659 --> 01:26:06,661 [Ryan] This man right here is a liar. 1271 01:26:06,744 --> 01:26:08,163 [Stephen] Ryan Reynolds, everybody. 1272 01:26:08,371 --> 01:26:10,373 [audience cheers] 1273 01:26:24,721 --> 01:26:26,389 You did this, Al. 1274 01:26:27,098 --> 01:26:28,099 Nah. 1275 01:26:28,975 --> 01:26:29,976 It was all Max. 1276 01:26:33,980 --> 01:26:34,980 Remember this? 1277 01:26:37,233 --> 01:26:39,068 - Yeah. - Go get 'em! 1278 01:26:39,777 --> 01:26:41,779 [audience cheers] 1279 01:26:43,239 --> 01:26:44,324 [Ryan] It's Tuesday. 1280 01:26:44,824 --> 01:26:45,867 [Stephen] It's Thursday! 1281 01:26:46,659 --> 01:26:48,077 How dare you, Ryan! 1282 01:26:48,161 --> 01:26:49,454 Hey, Buddy! 1283 01:26:50,622 --> 01:26:51,623 Knock 'em dead! 1284 01:26:56,002 --> 01:26:57,002 Hey... 1285 01:26:57,754 --> 01:26:59,172 what happened to your shoes? 1286 01:26:59,881 --> 01:27:00,881 Long story. 1287 01:27:01,507 --> 01:27:02,967 [Stephen] Ryan Reynolds, everybody! 1288 01:27:03,218 --> 01:27:05,220 [audience cheers] 1289 01:27:10,642 --> 01:27:12,644 This a crazy story, folks. 1290 01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:17,774 Fifty years ago, a comic was given a shot on The Ed Sullivan Show 1291 01:27:17,857 --> 01:27:22,028 in this very theater, but for some reason, it never happened. 1292 01:27:23,404 --> 01:27:27,200 When I heard that he wanted to come back 1293 01:27:27,325 --> 01:27:31,079 and give it a go again after all that time, 1294 01:27:31,537 --> 01:27:33,623 I was so moved 1295 01:27:34,165 --> 01:27:38,753 that I felt that I had to help make this happen. 1296 01:27:39,337 --> 01:27:41,172 And so, ladies and gentlemen, 1297 01:27:41,381 --> 01:27:45,593 welcome to the stage, the great Buddy Green! 1298 01:27:45,885 --> 01:27:47,887 [audience cheers] 1299 01:27:52,517 --> 01:27:54,519 [trumpets play] 1300 01:28:10,243 --> 01:28:11,703 [audience member whistles] 1301 01:28:19,627 --> 01:28:20,878 [Buddy] Thank you. 1302 01:28:21,504 --> 01:28:22,755 Thank you. 1303 01:28:23,881 --> 01:28:25,341 You're very kind. 1304 01:28:25,425 --> 01:28:28,011 I want you to know this is my first comeback 1305 01:28:28,094 --> 01:28:29,887 without someone yelling, "Clear!" 1306 01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:37,812 I've been performing for the last couple of weeks, 1307 01:28:37,895 --> 01:28:41,816 you know, cutting my teeth in clubs all across the country 1308 01:28:42,483 --> 01:28:44,110 and I did a little TV, too. 1309 01:28:44,193 --> 01:28:46,612 You may recognize me from America's Got Dentures. 1310 01:28:49,615 --> 01:28:50,742 See, that's a cheap joke. 1311 01:28:50,825 --> 01:28:53,578 I used to tell a lot of cheap jokes, but I am done. 1312 01:28:54,287 --> 01:28:55,872 I'm done with cheap jokes. 1313 01:28:55,955 --> 01:28:59,083 Jokes are easy. People email jokes 1314 01:28:59,208 --> 01:29:02,879 and if you have a relative of my age, you know exactly what I'm talking about 1315 01:29:02,962 --> 01:29:07,967 because there is nothing more dangerous than an old man attached to the internet. 1316 01:29:09,469 --> 01:29:15,933 We know just enough to type the word "funny" with one finger... 1317 01:29:16,017 --> 01:29:18,561 My manager wouldn't have done this for me. 1318 01:29:19,812 --> 01:29:21,939 I'm not taking any new clients right now. 1319 01:29:26,152 --> 01:29:27,862 [Buddy] My idea of a remote control 1320 01:29:27,945 --> 01:29:30,156 is telling my grandson to change the channel. 1321 01:29:30,281 --> 01:29:32,283 [audience laughs] 1322 01:29:32,492 --> 01:29:34,660 And I don't like making fun of old people. 1323 01:29:34,827 --> 01:29:37,205 Growing old is serious business. 1324 01:29:37,288 --> 01:29:38,581 [audience laughs] 1325 01:29:38,748 --> 01:29:41,084 That's why we're angry all the time. 1326 01:29:41,376 --> 01:29:45,838 And what we're really angry at is time and you can't get angry at time, 1327 01:29:46,089 --> 01:29:50,385 so we take it out on waiters and children and people who love us. 1328 01:29:50,760 --> 01:29:55,306 Did you ever see an old person in a restaurant not send the meal back? 1329 01:29:56,557 --> 01:30:00,144 "Give me a perfect frigging meal. I am about to die." 1330 01:30:02,230 --> 01:30:04,399 So, that's why I don't tell jokes anymore. 1331 01:30:05,566 --> 01:30:06,901 It's a waste of time. 1332 01:30:08,194 --> 01:30:10,613 Life is a big enough joke. 1333 01:30:33,761 --> 01:30:35,930 And that's why we need funny people. 1334 01:30:36,722 --> 01:30:40,643 Not just on TV, but at work, at home... 1335 01:30:41,644 --> 01:30:43,020 at the doctor's office. 1336 01:30:44,272 --> 01:30:49,735 It took me 50 years to figure that out and I still can't use the remote. 1337 01:30:50,194 --> 01:30:54,490 One more thing. Ed Sullivan - if you're watching, 1338 01:30:54,574 --> 01:30:55,950 I'm sorry I'm late. 1339 01:30:56,284 --> 01:30:57,285 I'll see you soon. 1340 01:31:41,162 --> 01:31:44,999 [Sunshine] Gentlemen, I am well aware of the unpleasant news 1341 01:31:45,082 --> 01:31:46,584 that I've brought you in the past. 1342 01:31:46,751 --> 01:31:50,213 But I tell you something. Nothing - and I mean nothing - 1343 01:31:50,296 --> 01:31:51,631 could prepare me for this one. 1344 01:31:51,714 --> 01:31:54,884 Did you hear about Al? 1345 01:31:56,052 --> 01:31:59,305 Apparently, he lost everything. 1346 01:32:00,097 --> 01:32:02,850 Forced to move into some old folks' home in the Midwest. 1347 01:32:03,893 --> 01:32:07,355 Can you imagine being sent to a place like that? 1348 01:32:12,568 --> 01:32:13,903 If I could stand up, 1349 01:32:14,445 --> 01:32:16,030 I'd hang myself. Like, Share and Follow our Instagram @Layarkaca21indo.id for Support