﻿1
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,081
Now, ladies and gentlemen,

2
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:23,417
Mr. Severn Darden will do
a spot improvisation for you.

3
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,377
<i>Okay, a little bit of history.</i>

4
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:30,007
<i>In 1955, a group of actors
in Chicago invented the idea</i>

5
00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:33,219
<i>that improvisational theater could
be an art form unto itself.</i>

6
00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:37,098
<i>Not just a warm-up
for other theater.</i>

7
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,307
This is what we're going
to be playing with.

8
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,433
There it is,
the all-American football.

9
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:40,768
Well, that's an odd shape,
isn't it?

10
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,561
It's not actually round.

11
00:01:42,645 --> 00:01:46,398
<i>Now, everyone has their own take
on what's most important in improv,</i>

12
00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:50,569
<i>but even 60 years later, they still
boil down to three basic rules.</i>

13
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:51,946
Sly and the Family Stone.

14
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,697
Jody and Buffy.

15
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,407
<i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer.</i>

16
00:01:55,491 --> 00:01:58,536
Um, vampires...

17
00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,870
Weekend.

18
00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:02,331
<i>Number one.
Say yes.</i>

19
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:05,251
Duck season.
<i>Duck Hunt.</i>

20
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,627
Nintendo.

21
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,795
<i>Which really means
just agreeing with</i>

22
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,130
<i>the reality your partner creates</i>

23
00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:10,256
<i>and then building on that.</i>

24
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:11,382
<i>Pong.</i>

25
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:14,426
<i>And then building on that.</i>

26
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,180
<i>And then building on that,
and then building on that.</i>

27
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:21,892
<i>Defender.</i>

28
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:23,144
<i>Frogger.</i>

29
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,647
Oh, my God, that is amazing.

30
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,733
Jack, you have worked on that.
Yeah, yeah, that's a good...

31
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,069
That's a prepared bit,
that's not improvised.

32
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:34,113
What?
I don't accept that as improv.

33
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:37,032
<i>Number two.
It's all about the group.</i>

34
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,492
<i>Yes.</i>

35
00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,035
<i>It's not about you looking good.</i>

36
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,412
<i>And it's also
not about looking funny.</i>

37
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,872
<i>No.
Or showboating.</i>

38
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:45,416
<i>It's about a group
working together in the moment</i>

39
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,501
<i>to create something
that never happened before.</i>

40
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,420
<i>You know, or will
never happen again.</i>

41
00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,172
Five minutes, guys.

42
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,215
"Five minutes, guys."

43
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,384
"Five minutes, guys."
Why am I Japanese?

44
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,178
Remember when you said,
"Please tell me when I'm racist?"

45
00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:59,638
Yeah. Thanks, thank you, Lindsay.
It's one of those times.

46
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:02,433
<i>And finally, and this
is the most important one.</i>

47
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:05,144
<i>Don't think.</i>

48
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:09,315
<i>It's all about getting out of
your head, it's about impulse.</i>

49
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:12,860
<i>It's about living in the moment.
It's about now.</i>

50
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:13,986
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.

51
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,113
No!

52
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,490
We all said we would
wear the same outfit.

53
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,868
Everybody agreed. Let's start
wearing matching outfits.

54
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,204
I felt like this was the
only thing all of us owned.

55
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:26,790
Say, "Yes, and!" Nobody's
"yes, anding" me right now!

56
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,835
You've gotta go. You've gotta go.
I'm being a professional.

57
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:31,795
<i>In improv, there are no mistakes.</i>

58
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,589
<i>Like, Del Close once said,</i>

59
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:37,259
<i>"Fall and then figure out
what to do on the way down."</i>

60
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:40,054
<i>Welcome to the
Improv For America Theater.</i>

61
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,431
<i>Please turn off your cell phones.
There's no talking.</i>

62
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,392
Got your back. Got your back.
Got your back.

63
00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:46,685
Got your back.
Got your back.

64
00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,312
Guys, I'm sorry I'm late.

65
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,563
Aw!

66
00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,815
Sorry.
"Guys, I'm sorry I'm late."

67
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:53,359
Sorry.

68
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,071
Guess what?
What?

69
00:03:57,154 --> 00:04:00,658
<i>Don't care that you're late,
I don't care that you're late</i>

70
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:01,742
Please welcome The Commune!

71
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,827
All right, you guys, let's go!

72
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,795
Hi, I'm Sam.

73
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,338
Uh, Miles.
I'm Bill.

74
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,464
Allison.
Lindsay.

75
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:16,590
Jack.

76
00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,425
And we are The Commune.

77
00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:23,681
So everything you see tonight
is gonna be improvised.

78
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,016
And this show is really
all about you guys.

79
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:31,105
So we want to know, has anybody out
here had a particularly hard day?

80
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:35,317
And something actually hard, like, not
like your roommate ate your yogurt.

81
00:04:35,401 --> 00:04:37,611
It was still shitty
when you ate my yogurt, Miles.

82
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,156
Uh, go ahead.

83
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,826
Uh, I'm looking for
an apartment and it sucks.

84
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:46,912
Like, why specifically does it suck?

85
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:49,707
The only one I can afford has
the bathroom in the kitchen.

86
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,292
Hmm.

87
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,334
Hi. Great.
Hi.

88
00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:55,004
Okay, so as you can see, we have, uh...
There's two bedrooms.

89
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,714
Lovely.
Here is the kitchen.

90
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,299
Nice.
There's a beautiful bathroom.

91
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,426
Uh, is that a toilet?

92
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,721
Yes, that is. The toilet
is in the kitchen.

93
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,389
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Mmm-hmm, yes.

94
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,141
Yes.
And who are they?

95
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:09,977
They are...

96
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,108
They are orphans. They are orphans.
Hi.

97
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,235
Did you say "orphans"?

98
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,822
Yes, the apartment comes with orphans.
Yes, yes, yes.

99
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,908
Um, does the landlord 
mind if I paint?

100
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,827
Well, you can't paint the orphans, no.

101
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,037
But you can paint the walls.

102
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,747
This is the place I was
telling you about, babe.

103
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,373
It has a lot of character.
Oh, yeah.

104
00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:33,751
This is my husband.
Stanley, a pleasure to meet you.

105
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:34,960
I love it.
Oh, it's great.

106
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,171
Hey, well, guys, this is it.
It's gonna sell today.

107
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,630
You gotta go for it,
it's gonna sell today.

108
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,591
I'll take it. Oh, no,
I'm going to take it.

109
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,134
We'll pay 30% over asking.

110
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:44,011
Well, I'll pay 50% over asking.

111
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,721
We'll pay 100% over asking.

112
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:49,308
Well, I'll pay $2 million
for this apartment.

113
00:05:50,059 --> 00:05:51,477
Really?
Yes.

114
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,561
Okay, yeah.

115
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,897
What makes you want
this apartment so badly?

116
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:00,110
It's the orphans.

117
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,695
I wanna raise them.

118
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:09,286
This was my first group,
The Awakening, 1997.

119
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:12,164
That had me, Bill, Brad Burke.
Yeah.

120
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,248
<i>He's on...
He's on Stuck in the Middle.</i>

121
00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:15,292
Yeah, yeah. He's done really well. And...
Oh, yeah.

122
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:16,794
And this guy's on
<i>Weekend Live</i>, right?

123
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,545
Hugh Finn, yeah.
Wow!

124
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:20,964
He's... I auditioned that year, too.

125
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,342
I was inches...

126
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,219
And you're very talented.

127
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:28,764
I mean, you're upper third
of your class, but you know,

128
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,058
most of these guys, they're
just not gonna make it.

129
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,476
I mean, 3%...

130
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,729
Excuse me just a second.
No, Bonnie, we could move the theater!

131
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:37,022
We could find a space in Brooklyn.

132
00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:39,566
We could move to
Long Island City, Astoria.

133
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,944
You know, all the music venues,
they're heading to Bushwick.

134
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,028
Or Gowanus.
I know.

135
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:47,825
The business model for selling $5
tickets to a show is not exactly sound.

136
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,829
The theater's closing. We've gotta
be out of there in four weeks.

137
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,248
They're selling.

138
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,458
Another Trump building,
I think.

139
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,753
New York City is over.

140
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,799
New York City, you're fired.

141
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:06,844
Improv For America, you're fired.

142
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,347
All of America, you're fired.

143
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,099
What the hell was that?

144
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,475
That was Trump.

145
00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:14,935
JFK.
That's JFK.

146
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,271
Your impersonation
is so bad, you're fired.

147
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:21,358
We're not leaving. We could
start a protest. Right?

148
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,694
We could do like an online campaign.
Yeah, yeah.

149
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,697
Occupy!

150
00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,533
Protest!

151
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:34,997
It was a bit.

152
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,623
A bit gone bad.

153
00:07:36,707 --> 00:07:39,668
Samantha Byrne, you
took that bit too far. You're fired.

154
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,337
I concur, you're fired.

155
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:43,881
JFK.

156
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,634
So most of us live here.
Oh, really?

157
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:51,263
Jack and Sam moved out last
year, so they have their own place,

158
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,890
and Lindsay lives with her parents.

159
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:55,058
Uh, my parents live with me.
Yeah, whatever.

160
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,977
This is my room.
It's, uh...

161
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,687
Watch your head on the pipe.

162
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:02,774
It's not huge...

163
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,528
But neither am I, so.

164
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:09,198
<i>What if I threw up
in your mouth right now?</i>

165
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,449
That's it.

166
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,993
You throw up? I'd go,
"Thanks, baby bird."

167
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,999
You're so weird, you're so...

168
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,751
You're so weird, I love...

169
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,174
It's too gross, even for me.

170
00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,342
It's too gross.
It's too gross.

171
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,928
I like that you went with it.
I did. Yes...

172
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:35,974
I need to work on my Irish.

173
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,145
No.
No, see, that's just a speech impediment.

174
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,939
I thought it was a good show.

175
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:46,860
Oh, yeah. Let me show you something.
Look at this. Hmm?

176
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,321
I don't know what you're showing me.

177
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,031
It's called Bucky's.

178
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,699
It looks like a porn house.
It is.

179
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,618
I bought it for practically nothing.

180
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,621
I'll wipe the splooge off the walls
and I'll flip it into a Sephora.

181
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,873
Dad, I've told you, I'm not
interested in real estate.

182
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,208
All right.

183
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,465
You still givin' out hummus samples?

184
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,510
No. I got a new job.

185
00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:13,637
Great.

186
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,641
Hummus and chips?
No, thank you.

187
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,017
Hummus and chips?

188
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,729
Okay. Follow me.

189
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:40,455
Like, I'm the most talented copy
editor at my agency and they fired me.

190
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,835
What's crazy is,
I don't even need the job.

191
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:48,213
It's hard to have
wealthy parents, Lindsay.

192
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,268
<i>Can we have
another suggestion, Josh?</i>

193
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:02,769
Uh, pen.

194
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,314
Hey, man. I got you this new pen.

195
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,942
It's actually not a pen.
That's, um, a fish.

196
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,193
And you dumb.

197
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,030
Pause there.
So, good stuff, you guys.

198
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:16,450
Um, I think what we wanna do
is think in positives.

199
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,994
So Natasha says, "Here's a
pen," you might add to that.

200
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:22,789
You know, "Oh, thanks. It's got an
inscription. It says 'Happy Anniversary."'

201
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:26,001
Okay, cool. Yeah, that's tight if
you wanna be doing improv forever,

202
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:29,963
but I wanna do <i>Weekend Live.</i>
Like, how do you do that?

203
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,465
You wait in line, Gary.

204
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:32,674
You looked good.

205
00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:34,885
<i>It's</i> Weekend Live!

206
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,386
I'm glad you're keeping score.

207
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,721
You know what I mean?
It's the sports of comedy.

208
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,807
It's the only live sporting
event of comedy.

209
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,560
But comedy isn't a sport.
"Sports of comedy"?

210
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,479
It shouldn't have winners and losers,

211
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,189
and there shouldn't be points.

212
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:50,025
They don't have... I mean, they got
Gary Cho and then it's like, who else?

213
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,611
You know what I mean? Everybody else is...
White.

214
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:53,737
Even if it wasn't me,

215
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,865
there should be somebody else on
this show that represents another...

216
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,450
Different shades of white, certainly.
Right.

217
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,994
Yes, definitely.
They've got eggshell...

218
00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:05,415
Ecru.
Ecru to off-white to almost ochre.

219
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,209
Ochre?
I enjoy ochre performers.

220
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:10,879
It was good when I was little.

221
00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,799
Right. You know, you never know if
it was good when you were little

222
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,967
or you were just little,
so you didn't know.

223
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:19,471
It's the great paradox of
<i>Weekend Live</i>, is was it good ever?

224
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,514
And can I...

225
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:21,765
Or did we just think so
because we were 12?

226
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,518
You really should not have said that
in your audition. I think that...

227
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,269
I brought that up at my interview.

228
00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:42,452
Sarah, we're gonna hold 10.

229
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,621
Wait, Why?
Why are we holding 10?

230
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:45,872
I called Hugh Finn.

231
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,791
He's bringing over some
producers from <i>Weekend Live.</i>

232
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:54,756
Hey, Jack, don't pull some
showboat shit out there.

233
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,174
What are you talking about?
When do I do that?

234
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:57,551
You know you always do that.

235
00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,595
Anyone from the industry shows up, you
turn into a one-man audition tape.

236
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,473
You did it when the guy from <i>Conan</i> came.
You did it when <i>Law and Order</i> came.

237
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,350
Um, you guys, where's Bill?

238
00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:06,977
Where is Bill?
Bill?

239
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:10,230
He doesn't wanna miss this. He doesn't wanna miss this.
Where's he at?

240
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,524
"Where are you?"
Bill.

241
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,651
Where's Bill? Where's Bill?

242
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,404
Bill, Bill, Bill,
Bill, Bill, Bill.

243
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,031
Bill's not gonna be happy
about missing <i>Weekend Live.</i>

244
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,867
And I love Bill,
but we gotta do the show.

245
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,034
All right.
Here we go, guys.

246
00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:25,036
Please welcome The Commune!

247
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,090
Hi, I'm Sam.

248
00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:38,258
Miles.
Allison.

249
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,509
Lindsay.
Jack.

250
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:42,220
And we are The Commune.

251
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:46,433
In fact, everything you see
tonight is going to be improvised

252
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,769
and it's all about you guys.

253
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:52,856
So did anybody out there
have a particularly hard day?

254
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,525
Mmm? Yes?

255
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:59,154
Yeah, I saw my dad for the
first time in 10 years today.

256
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,782
What? Really?
Where? Where?

257
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:05,744
He drives a taxi, and I just
randomly got into his cab.

258
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,996
Wait. No, no, no.
Wow!

259
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,374
Fact checking. Um...

260
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,251
You got into a taxi,

261
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:16,254
you did not know it was your dad,
and then you said, "Hi, Dad"?

262
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,840
Yes, I said, "Hi, Dad."
Well, okay.

263
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,133
Wow!

264
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,510
Hop in.
Oh.

265
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,138
Thanks. I didn't think
anyone was gonna pick me up.

266
00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:27,474
It's raining so hard.
Well, yeah. Where you headed?

267
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:31,061
I'm going to a restaurant
on West Fourth and Broadway.

268
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,270
What do you got goin' on there?

269
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:37,067
Uh, a blind date with a man I'll
probably engage in sexual congress with.

270
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:41,988
That seems a little fast.
Well...

271
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,076
Thank you.

272
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,663
I consider myself quite fast.

273
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:50,747
In fact...

274
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,166
I have abandonment issues.

275
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:57,337
My father left me, so I basically
only relate to men through sex.

276
00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,174
That's challenging
for me to hear.

277
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,470
Um...

278
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,015
In that case, I think I'll get out here.
Okay.

279
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:16,690
Oh, welcome to La Traviata.
How many?

280
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,191
Two. I'm meeting someone.

281
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,277
I'll be right back.
Thank you.

282
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,447
Ugh! Dad?

283
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,450
I'm just trying to be
part of your life.

284
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,287
And you drove the cab?

285
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:37,002
Now look, as the President
of the United States of America,

286
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:42,090
I believe that it's not only
my duty to find your father

287
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,970
but also have him pick you up in a cab
and take you to your destination.

288
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:52,183
This is a new program we're working on
right now called, uh, Cabs for Dads.

289
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:56,313
But my critics like to call it ObamaCabs.

290
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,609
As if that would bother me.

291
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:06,448
I was justifying why a man would be
picking up his daughter in a cab.

292
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:09,826
You also justified why you should
be doing your best impression.

293
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,036
When <i>Weekend Live</i> is there.

294
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,371
When <i>Weekend Live</i> is there.

295
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,415
I thought it was very strong.
Thank you.

296
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:18,126
No, you know, they're right.
You guys are right. I'm sorry.

297
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,461
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

298
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:21,796
I went out there by my...
I shouldn't have done that.

299
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,674
That's Alicia Bonham and Hugh Finn.

300
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,218
Should I go over there?

301
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,346
Why would you go over there and not us?

302
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,848
I don't... I don't care.
It doesn't matter.

303
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,266
I could go over there,
you could go over there.

304
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,809
We just can't all go over there.

305
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:36,645
Hi, I'm Jack.

306
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:37,771
Alicia.

307
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:40,398
That show was so good.

308
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,943
Thank you. Oh, my God. I'm so flattered.
Yeah.

309
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:45,487
We are so flattered.
Such an honor.

310
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:49,115
We're all so flattered, you know.
I started the group 11 years ago.

311
00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:50,367
Hi, I'm Lindsay!

312
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,286
I love these guys. We were
in the trenches together.

313
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,956
Miles and I are like
stage brothers for life.

314
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,208
Oh, so I'll see you
at Hugh's wedding then.

315
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,502
Oh, um...

316
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,462
You're getting married?

317
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:06,675
It's actually just
a really small thing, so...

318
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:11,429
I don't care. I don't
wanna go to a wedding.

319
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:12,931
I hate weddings.
And babies.

320
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,725
If you ever have a baby,
don't invite me to it.

321
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,062
Uh, I follow you on Twitter.

322
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:22,899
Ugh! I fucking hate Twitter.
My publicist made me join.

323
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:26,152
But I mean, it's part of it,
though, you know, right?

324
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:27,445
I mean, just, right? Right?

325
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:28,780
Yeah.

326
00:16:28,863 --> 00:16:30,573
Um, well, if you ever
wanna hate it together,

327
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,659
I'm Jack-underscore-Mercer,
so...

328
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,286
Underscore is my middle name.

329
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:37,831
I have an Instagram for
my neighbor's dog, actually.

330
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:40,500
So if you wanna check that
out really fun stuff.

331
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,835
You don't have to be
an animal lover.

332
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:45,672
Uh, it's just like really human
moments, but also dog moments.

333
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,007
It's TulipBone.

334
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:50,343
'Cause the dog's name is Tulip, she
likes bones, easy to remember.

335
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,095
Thank you.
Thank you, guys.

336
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,221
Nice to meet you.
Okay.

337
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:57,100
It is weird that he
didn't invite me to his wedding.

338
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,060
Is it, though?
I wasn't invited, either.

339
00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:01,771
Smug son of a bitch.
I'm not invited to his wedding?

340
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,357
I introduced him to his wife!

341
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,194
I just tagged Alicia
on some @TulipBone pictures.

342
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:10,238
Oh, nice.
You mispronounced Alicia.

343
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:11,865
Alicia.
No, it's not a pronunciation...

344
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,284
Guys, this is Natasha.
She's one of my students.

345
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,369
She's staying with us this week.
Hey.

346
00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:19,456
I got evicted.
My roommate sells crack.

347
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:20,957
Oh, man.
How was your show?

348
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,417
It was good.
<i>Weekend Live</i> showed up.

349
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:25,211
Yeah.
Oh, God, seriously? Are they casting?

350
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:27,547
'Cause I've been working on my characters.
Yeah?

351
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,675
Like, "Y'all want some crack?

352
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:33,136
"Y'all want some crack
in your eggs?"

353
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,180
I'm not sure
they're casting. Anyway...

354
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:38,308
Oh, my God, you guys.
Bonnie just texted me. They loved Sam.

355
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,061
Sam? You hear that?
Oh, yeah? They didn't mention me?

356
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,229
You know, I auditioned for
the show in 2003. I was...

357
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,564
We know.
Inches.

358
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,983
Inches. I was like inches.
I was like inches.

359
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,568
Do not break my phone.
Do not break my...

360
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,111
Boom!

361
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:51,488
Yes.

362
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:54,074
So who wins Jenga?

363
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:55,742
The person who does not knock it over.

364
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,079
Yeah, like everybody
who doesn't lose Jenga wins.

365
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,413
That's a weird game.
Oh, well done.

366
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:04,334
Yes, I can.
Mmm-hmm, I'm there.

367
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,336
What's going on?

368
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,550
Sam. Sam!

369
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:17,514
You know that Americans eat
one trillion eggs a year?

370
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:20,183
We do not.
Is that even true, Data?

371
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,643
Why do you call her Data?

372
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:24,020
You don't know Data from Star Trek?
How old are you?

373
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:27,190
Okay. We will be there.

374
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,569
So, are you okay?

375
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,197
Yeah.
That was Bonnie.

376
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,281
Okay.

377
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:40,453
And we have an audition on
Thursday for <i>Weekend Live.</i>

378
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,706
Who? You and me?
You and me.

379
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,375
She's losing right now!

380
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:48,169
Bill! Bill, where were you?

381
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:51,965
Sorry I missed the show.

382
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,384
Sorry. Sorry I missed the show, guys.

383
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,635
Sorry. Sorry I missed the show.

384
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:58,721
You don't wanna do that.

385
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:02,308
Just stop. It's real, okay?
Just stop.

386
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,478
Okay. You did it!

387
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:08,064
You did it!
We did it!

388
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,650
My dad, he rode his motorcycle home

389
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:12,902
and

390
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,489
on the highway this 18-wheeler

391
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,743
kinda edged him off the highway
and he hit the guardrail, so...

392
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,663
He's in the hospital. I gotta take
the train to see him tomorrow.

393
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:24,914
Dude, dude, dude, we're sorry.

394
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,332
I'll get my dad's car.
Yeah, yeah.

395
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,792
I'll drive you
down there to the hospital.

396
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,002
We'll all come, yeah.

397
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,129
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry.

398
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,380
What's going on?

399
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:37,093
Bill's dad had a motorcycle accident.
Some truck hit it.

400
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:38,344
He got hit.

401
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:41,389
We're gonna go down to Philadelphia
tomorrow. I'll get my dad's oar.

402
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,187
We actually have
some news, too.

403
00:19:47,270 --> 00:19:48,521
We have, um...

404
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:52,192
We're auditioning on
Thursday for <i>Weekend Live.</i>

405
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:55,695
Congrats, man.

406
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,113
Thanks, man.

407
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,783
So, wait, <i>Weekend Live,</i>
they came to tonight's show?

408
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,160
Yeah. It was like,
like Alicia and Hugh...

409
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:04,204
Motherfucker.
Yeah. Sorry.

410
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:05,330
Sorry, buddy.

411
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,123
They're not gonna come
again, right? That's it.

412
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,499
They might.
The theater's closing.

413
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:11,628
Maybe they'll wanna take another shot.
Maybe they'll come again, you know?

414
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,546
Probably not.

415
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,715
I'm sorry.

416
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:19,969
Do you know which
bits you're gonna do?

417
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:22,889
We just heard like
10 minutes ago, so...

418
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,433
You gotta do Alex Rodriguez
at the cell phone store.

419
00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:27,727
I forgot all about that one.
Oh, my gosh.

420
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,563
You gotta do The Rock when
The Rock loses all the weight.

421
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,732
SlimFast Rock.
What did we call it?

422
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,609
The Pebble.
The Pebble. Right.

423
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,486
Jack.
"Can you smell what The Pebble's cookin'?"

424
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,905
"Not much. And that's why
I lost the weight."

425
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,074
It's weird that they
didn't want me to audition.

426
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,243
I mean, in some ways,
it makes sense.

427
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,536
It's like they don't want more
generals, they want infantry.

428
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,622
Yeah. Yeah.

429
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,084
So when I did it,
it was three characters,

430
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,252
three impersonations.
What I did...

431
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:54,379
Nobody cares, Miles.
What are you doing, Sam?

432
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:55,546
I don't know yet.

433
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:57,006
Jack, what are you gonna do?

434
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,841
Oh, you should do Uncle John!

435
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,094
What's that one?
Okay, look.

436
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,513
Kids down there makin' noise,
come down to the basement

437
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:07,433
half in the bag, talkin' 'bout...
All you kids in the basement!

438
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,186
I ain't gonna have it
with none of y'all kids, man.

439
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:13,189
Y'all down here, you break anything,
you make any noise,

440
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,941
then there's the door.

441
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:17,777
Okay. Then what?
The premise of the character

442
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,779
is just that he, like,
points to the door?

443
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:23,700
That's always the way he exclamation
points the end of the sentence.

444
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,535
You kids in here
making noise.

445
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:28,454
I don't want you in here,
breaking my antiques.

446
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,291
There's the door.
There's the door.

447
00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:32,959
There's the door.
There's the door.

448
00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:34,877
Wait, Uncle John, Uncle John.
What? What?

449
00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:38,840
Um, I'm Bambi and I don't
know where my mom is.

450
00:21:39,549 --> 00:21:41,968
You know what?
There's the door.

451
00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:43,720
There's the door!

452
00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:48,141
Uncle John, Uncle John.

453
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,892
Yeah. What's goin' on?
I make pizza

454
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:52,645
and I can find my sauce and my cheese,
but I can't find the other part.

455
00:21:52,729 --> 00:21:54,063
It's right here, dude.

456
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,316
There's the door.
There's the door!

457
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,735
There's the door.
He's kneading the dough!

458
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:01,362
Miles, it's weird when you do it.

459
00:22:07,410 --> 00:22:10,788
We had to do an emergency
craniotomy to remove blood.

460
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:13,666
Your dad understands
what happened and where he is,

461
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:16,044
but he can't vocalize
more than a word or two.

462
00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:21,174
<i>Okay, we are
so far past this point now</i>

463
00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,884
<i>trying to remember
when the turning point was,</i>

464
00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:25,303
<i>but there actually
was a turning point.</i>

465
00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:29,932
We should head out.

466
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,144
We should head out.

467
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,653
I'll come visit again soon, Dad.

468
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:45,156
Thank you.

469
00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:48,159
You're welcome, Dad.

470
00:22:49,827 --> 00:22:50,995
Bye, Mr. Coughlin.

471
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:53,206
See you later, Mr. Coughlin.
Yeah, feel better, Mr. Coughlin.

472
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:55,875
See you soon. 
Bye, Mr. Coughlin. We'll be back.

473
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:56,959
All right.

474
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,255
I know it's not about me,

475
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:05,301
but I don't want my dad to
die thinking I'm a failure.

476
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,721
You're not a failure, Bill.
You're in The Commune.

477
00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:18,147
You know, Bill.

478
00:23:19,482 --> 00:23:23,152
I know it seems, like,
grim right now, but...

479
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:26,155
Boy, he's really a fighter.

480
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:27,990
Yeah.

481
00:23:28,783 --> 00:23:32,245
And there was that one moment
where he was like, "Thank you."

482
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:34,497
And that was actually
pretty good.

483
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:37,333
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
He was really present.

484
00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:41,421
Yeah, he was like,
"Thank you."

485
00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:44,757
Miles, that's wrong.

486
00:23:44,841 --> 00:23:45,925
Are you doing an impersonation?

487
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,886
It was more like,
"Thank you."

488
00:23:52,723 --> 00:23:55,935
Oh, Lindsay with the sneak attack.
"Thank you."

489
00:23:56,018 --> 00:23:59,480
"Thank you." "Thank you."

490
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:00,773
No, that's Bob Dylan.

491
00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:05,778
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one
that should impersonate my dad

492
00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:07,613
when he's basically in a coma.

493
00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:10,116
Mine was good, though.
Oh, God, Miles!

494
00:24:10,199 --> 00:24:13,202
It was, it was pretty good,
but it was really inappropriate.

495
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:20,293
"Thank you."
There we go!

496
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:26,799
Hello. Hello.
My name is Liam Neeson.

497
00:24:28,217 --> 00:24:31,804
If it's money that you're
looking for, I've got none.

498
00:24:32,555 --> 00:24:35,808
I've used all of it the last six
times my daughter was taken.

499
00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:39,479
I mean, didn't you find it
very easy to kidnap her?

500
00:24:39,729 --> 00:24:42,064
<i>No, you and I should sit...
You go over there.</i>

501
00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:46,819
God, are we glued here?
We're glued here.

502
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:49,697
<i>Can't we have
a stationary table?</i>

503
00:24:49,864 --> 00:24:52,950
Can't we get a table
that doesn't move?

504
00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:55,661
Nobody answers!
This business.

505
00:24:55,745 --> 00:24:57,246
<i>...that doesn't wobble here?</i>

506
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,457
<i>What?</i>
What?

507
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:01,501
What?

508
00:25:02,335 --> 00:25:03,586
<i>I wanna put my feet on it.</i>

509
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:04,754
Feet on it.

510
00:25:04,837 --> 00:25:06,589
Can't we get a stationary table?

511
00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:09,342
Can't we get a stationary...

512
00:25:09,509 --> 00:25:12,762
Nobody listens in this...
Nobody!

513
00:25:13,054 --> 00:25:15,848
If one hair on her head is harmed...
What, she's dead?

514
00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:19,227
Okay, well, to be quite honest,
there's a bit of relief there.

515
00:25:19,310 --> 00:25:21,687
<i>So I was thinking
about doing Gena Rowlands...</i>

516
00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:23,940
Yeah?
<i>From A Woman Under the Influence</i>

517
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:25,107
as an umpire.

518
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:29,111
Okay, well, that was
obscure in 1974, but okay.

519
00:25:29,612 --> 00:25:31,906
Yeah. Nick, you're out.

520
00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:33,366
What do you mean I'm out?
How could I be out?

521
00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:35,535
Nick, you missed the base.
You're out.

522
00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:37,620
Missed the base? I didn't even swing!
Rain delay!

523
00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:40,039
I'm telling you,
I didn't swing at the ball!

524
00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:41,874
But you have to do
the porches thing, too.

525
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:44,460
P-O-R-C-H-E-S.

526
00:25:44,627 --> 00:25:47,380
We have aluminum porches.

527
00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:51,300
Enclosed...

528
00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:53,970
Listen, Anne Prima Donna.
Yes, Papa?

529
00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:55,304
You're the prettiest girl
in all of Brooklyn

530
00:25:55,388 --> 00:25:57,223
and if anyone tells you different,
they're outta their minds.

531
00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:58,391
Oh, Papa.

532
00:25:58,474 --> 00:26:01,185
Look at these lips.
Those are kissable lips!

533
00:26:01,561 --> 00:26:03,062
What could you do for my lips, Papa?

534
00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:04,981
Oh, I could do just about anything.
I could...

535
00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:08,025
Let me check the lips first and
we'll see what we're doing here.

536
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:15,825
Boy, my daughter's good at everything.

537
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:18,160
Just kidding.
You trained her well.

538
00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:21,038
All right, we gotta get moving.

539
00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:26,794
Ooh, but an elf has confused my legs for
trees and sawed them off for firewood.

540
00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:28,337
I'm serious. Here we go.

541
00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:32,341
Come on, Sam.
Can't we just lie here in the meadow?

542
00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:33,593
Come on, Sam.

543
00:26:33,676 --> 00:26:35,511
Yes, magical tree.

544
00:26:35,595 --> 00:26:37,513
We can lie here in the meadow.

545
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,601
As long as that meadow is the train.

546
00:26:41,684 --> 00:26:42,768
Oh.

547
00:26:42,852 --> 00:26:43,894
Here we are, magical tree.

548
00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:45,229
No, no, Jack, put me down.
We're going to our...

549
00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:46,272
Put me down.

550
00:26:46,355 --> 00:26:47,940
Sorry.
I need time.

551
00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:51,444
Well, we don't have much time, hon.

552
00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:55,114
But yours is at 4:00 and mine's at 4:15,
so I'll just meet you there.

553
00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:01,621
I can wait. If you want me
to wait and stay with you?

554
00:27:01,704 --> 00:27:02,955
Just go, Jack.

555
00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:06,125
I'll meet you there.
Don't worry about me.

556
00:27:11,213 --> 00:27:13,132
It's better if I meet you there?

557
00:27:13,215 --> 00:27:14,634
Honey, I got it. I'm good.

558
00:28:00,262 --> 00:28:02,640
<i>Ray Romano singing
Happy Birthday.</i>

559
00:28:03,474 --> 00:28:07,311
<i>Happy birthday to...</i>

560
00:28:11,982 --> 00:28:15,111
Hi. Sam Byrne, <i>Weekend Live.</i>

561
00:28:20,074 --> 00:28:21,909
Rath, it was unbelievable!

562
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:26,080
I killed it, man! I absolutely crushed it!
I can't believe it.

563
00:28:26,163 --> 00:28:27,957
I did Ray Romano sings.

564
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,876
They had to stop because
everyone was laughing so hard.

565
00:28:31,544 --> 00:28:33,379
No! You shut up!

566
00:28:43,973 --> 00:28:45,808
A character called the ticket taker.

567
00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:50,187
He's an old timey ticket taker but
he works in a modern cineplex.

568
00:28:50,271 --> 00:28:52,898
And he doesn't understand,
he's like delusional.

569
00:28:52,982 --> 00:28:56,944
He thinks that we've lost the
classic kind of feel of the cinema,

570
00:28:57,027 --> 00:28:59,905
and so he just...
He's stuck in this world. So...

571
00:29:32,730 --> 00:29:34,190
<i>Hi. Hello.</i>

572
00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:36,942
Hi.
I'm here to quit show business.

573
00:29:37,777 --> 00:29:39,695
Well, hello!

574
00:29:41,572 --> 00:29:43,741
Hi, I'm here to quit
show business as well.

575
00:29:43,908 --> 00:29:46,285
What? Jugglers almost never quit.

576
00:29:46,368 --> 00:29:48,078
What else do they have to do?

577
00:29:49,872 --> 00:29:52,583
So then he says,
"That's how it goes."

578
00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:55,169
And then I was like, "Okay."

579
00:29:55,252 --> 00:29:57,963
And so then I walk out back into
the lobby out of his office

580
00:29:58,047 --> 00:30:00,174
and Gary Cho was sitting there.

581
00:30:00,257 --> 00:30:02,676
He looks at me, Gary Cho says,

582
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,762
"We're all really excited."

583
00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:07,097
And then I'm going,
"Uh-oh. What?"

584
00:30:07,181 --> 00:30:10,142
And at that moment, Timothy's
assistant comes out of the office

585
00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:12,770
and made it official.

586
00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:24,698
On, my God!

587
00:30:26,575 --> 00:30:28,911
Yeah!
That is amazing.

588
00:30:29,078 --> 00:30:32,122
Oh, my God.
That is amazing.

589
00:30:32,289 --> 00:30:34,667
Congratulations.
I know, I know. I'm fucking spinning.

590
00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:37,253
Dude! Yes! Dude!

591
00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:39,672
Thank you, man.
My man!

592
00:30:40,089 --> 00:30:42,800
I mean, that's so, I can't believe
I know someone on <i>Weekend Live.</i>

593
00:30:42,883 --> 00:30:44,760
So that's it?
You just got it?

594
00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:48,597
For years, I was like, it's either
Jack or Miles, but probably Jack.

595
00:30:50,474 --> 00:30:53,060
No, but that's what you get.
That's what you get.

596
00:30:53,143 --> 00:30:54,353
Yeah.
Right? Yeah.

597
00:30:54,436 --> 00:30:55,646
Where's Sam?

598
00:30:55,813 --> 00:30:57,189
Um, you know what?
We showed up separately,

599
00:30:57,273 --> 00:31:00,901
and she hasn't texted me back yet,
so I don't know what's going on.

600
00:31:00,985 --> 00:31:03,279
Can you still do our shows? I mean,
we only have three weeks left, so...

601
00:31:03,404 --> 00:31:05,197
Yeah, you can still do our shows.
Oh, yeah.

602
00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:07,366
I don't know.
I don't, you know...

603
00:31:07,449 --> 00:31:09,910
I mean, it's late night,
it's just on the week days.

604
00:31:09,994 --> 00:31:12,580
I don't know 'cause you're
writing all the time.

605
00:31:12,663 --> 00:31:15,374
It's our first week. I wanna put
my best foot forward and...

606
00:31:15,457 --> 00:31:17,293
There she is. There she is.
Oh, my God.

607
00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:20,462
Hi, I'm so sorry I missed the show.
How was it?

608
00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:21,881
It doesn't matter.
How'd it go?

609
00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:23,340
What happened?
How'd it go?

610
00:31:23,424 --> 00:31:25,009
Um...

611
00:31:26,135 --> 00:31:28,053
I was late and they
wouldn't let me in.

612
00:31:28,137 --> 00:31:29,263
What? Why? Why?

613
00:31:29,346 --> 00:31:31,599
I don't know.
Well, how late were you?

614
00:31:32,725 --> 00:31:34,184
I was like 20 minutes late, so...

615
00:31:34,268 --> 00:31:35,269
You were 20 minutes late?

616
00:31:35,352 --> 00:31:37,479
Wait, you were 20 minutes late
and they wouldn't let you in?

617
00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:39,648
All right, maybe I was
like 30 minutes late.

618
00:31:39,732 --> 00:31:41,108
But, oh, my, how was it for you?

619
00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:43,110
No, listen, I told you
that I would wait for you.

620
00:31:43,193 --> 00:31:44,820
I told you that I would go...

621
00:31:45,487 --> 00:31:47,740
I know, I know.
How was it for you, though?

622
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,034
Honey, yeah, I got the show.

623
00:31:50,701 --> 00:31:51,702
I got it.

624
00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:54,955
That's great.
Yeah, yeah.

625
00:31:55,039 --> 00:31:56,332
That's...

626
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:57,499
Honey, but I...

627
00:31:58,751 --> 00:31:59,752
Thank you.

628
00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:03,047
I just wanted us both to get it, you know?
I really wanted us both to get it.

629
00:32:03,130 --> 00:32:04,089
I know.

630
00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:12,848
Look, guys, this is, um...

631
00:32:13,682 --> 00:32:16,727
This is a victory for the whole group.

632
00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:20,648
Okay? 'Cause I'm gonna...
You mean you'll talk to Timothy about us?

633
00:32:20,731 --> 00:32:21,774
Uh...

634
00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:25,152
When you talk to him my name's Bill.
Just to remind you.

635
00:32:25,235 --> 00:32:27,446
I'm Bill. We've known
each other many years.

636
00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:30,282
A lot of guys who get on that
show can hire their own writers,

637
00:32:30,366 --> 00:32:31,784
or, you know, suggest it.
Seriously.

638
00:32:31,867 --> 00:32:32,868
Yeah. I mean, I'm...

639
00:32:33,410 --> 00:32:36,038
To Jack, everybody!
To Jack! Cheers! All right!

640
00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:38,540
This is huge.

641
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:53,222
Bill.

642
00:32:58,143 --> 00:33:00,521
I was Jack's first teacher, actually.

643
00:33:00,604 --> 00:33:01,605
Oh...

644
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:04,733
You're my first teacher.
Exactly.

645
00:33:07,069 --> 00:33:08,570
That's cool.
Crazy.

646
00:33:08,612 --> 00:33:10,948
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just like, anything could happen.

647
00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:14,493
I was just so in it, and I felt,
if I don't get this,

648
00:33:14,576 --> 00:33:16,120
I'm gonna kill myself.

649
00:33:16,745 --> 00:33:19,707
I literally thought that.
And I believe that to be true.

650
00:33:19,790 --> 00:33:22,960
You mean like,
if you had to live our lives?

651
00:33:23,919 --> 00:33:25,671
Like if you had to
continue living like us,

652
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:26,839
you'd kill yourself?
No, no.

653
00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:28,716
I mean, I don't have OCD.

654
00:33:28,799 --> 00:33:30,175
I used to when I was a kid.

655
00:33:30,259 --> 00:33:33,846
I had it kinda like, basically I had
this thing with picture frames.

656
00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:35,764
Like, if I saw a picture frame,

657
00:33:35,848 --> 00:33:37,516
I would have to touch
the four corners of it,

658
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:39,309
but it would, like,
it would have to feel right.

659
00:33:39,518 --> 00:33:42,980
If you wanna talk to anybody,
I have a great therapist.

660
00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:46,108
That's so sweet of you, but I'm fine.

661
00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:47,401
Okay. I know.
I'm fine.

662
00:33:47,484 --> 00:33:49,778
She's always struggled
with this. It's like, um...

663
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:54,491
She ran away from home when she was
16 and, yeah, to become a ballerina.

664
00:33:55,492 --> 00:33:58,579
Like an actual, like pointe toes...
Yeah.

665
00:33:58,662 --> 00:34:00,873
Pirouettes and all that?
<i>Nutcracker,</i> yeah.

666
00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:03,042
Had a <i>Black Swan</i> kinda thing
and like, it didn't work out.

667
00:34:03,125 --> 00:34:04,543
She's great,
but it didn't work out,

668
00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:06,587
and then she started
coming to Commune shows,

669
00:34:06,670 --> 00:34:09,048
and she became kind of
obsessed with our group,

670
00:34:09,131 --> 00:34:10,924
and then I asked her
to join the group.

671
00:34:11,133 --> 00:34:12,134
Wow.

672
00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:32,321
Sam, honey.

673
00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:37,326
Honey, what happened?

674
00:34:37,868 --> 00:34:40,871
Okay, I mean, you can't just
have been 20 minutes late.

675
00:34:43,123 --> 00:34:44,541
Doesn't matter.

676
00:35:16,865 --> 00:35:18,117
Cool. Thanks a lot, ma'am.

677
00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:27,251
Fuck you.

678
00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:47,396
Where you going?

679
00:35:48,188 --> 00:35:49,690
Uh...

680
00:35:49,773 --> 00:35:52,317
I kinda feel like a whore.

681
00:35:52,401 --> 00:35:54,403
What do you mean?
We had a great time.

682
00:35:54,653 --> 00:35:55,946
Ugh! You're, like, 40.

683
00:35:59,491 --> 00:36:01,660
I just turned 36.

684
00:36:03,078 --> 00:36:04,663
I need you to teach my classes.

685
00:36:04,746 --> 00:36:06,832
Why?
I can't take it anymore.

686
00:36:06,915 --> 00:36:10,669
Another one of my students gets my
dream job and I'm still teaching 101?

687
00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:13,547
I gotta focus on me.
Writing for me.

688
00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:15,340
I'm gonna get
the job at <i>Weekend Live.</i>

689
00:36:15,424 --> 00:36:17,843
That's good for you, Miles,
but I can't teach.

690
00:36:17,926 --> 00:36:20,345
Why?
I'm good in a group.

691
00:36:20,429 --> 00:36:21,972
I'm no good on my own.

692
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:26,185
<i>Welcome to the
Improv For America Theater.</i>

693
00:36:26,268 --> 00:36:28,645
<i>Please turn off
your cell phones and...</i>

694
00:36:30,981 --> 00:36:32,357
<i>What's that phrase? Uh...</i>

695
00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:37,487
"A house is made of brick and stone,
but a home is made of love alone"?

696
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:39,531
You ever hear that one?

697
00:36:41,575 --> 00:36:43,076
No, Greg, I haven't.

698
00:36:47,164 --> 00:36:48,665
I read it... Uh...

699
00:36:49,166 --> 00:36:51,919
It was like, hanging up
in a doctor's office one time.

700
00:36:55,631 --> 00:36:59,343
You guys ever heard a phrase that's like,
"A bird in the hand is like two in a bush"?

701
00:37:01,386 --> 00:37:03,222
I heard that one.
Yeah?

702
00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:06,183
Yeah. You guys
ever heard that phrase,

703
00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:07,517
"There's nothing that feels better

704
00:37:07,601 --> 00:37:10,604
"than feeling someone's last
breath come out of their mouth"?

705
00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:16,693
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard that one.
I heard that one.

706
00:37:17,361 --> 00:37:19,196
What about, like,
that one where it's like,

707
00:37:19,279 --> 00:37:21,448
"The final drop of blood
in a man's body

708
00:37:21,531 --> 00:37:23,367
"is the sweetest nectar
you'll ever drink"?

709
00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:25,911
Yeah. Yeah.

710
00:37:26,328 --> 00:37:28,038
So, I met this guy.

711
00:37:29,081 --> 00:37:32,251
He owns this space up in Midtown.
It's kind of fancy for us.

712
00:37:32,334 --> 00:37:34,962
It's mostly like jazz and
classical music and stuff,

713
00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:37,464
but he said we could rent it
on one of the off-nights.

714
00:37:37,547 --> 00:37:38,882
We might even be able
to make some money.

715
00:37:38,966 --> 00:37:40,259
Really?

716
00:37:40,342 --> 00:37:42,511
Yeah.
Wow, is it expensive, or...

717
00:37:42,678 --> 00:37:46,640
That's the thing. We would
have to front like $4,000.

718
00:37:46,723 --> 00:37:50,269
But once we match it in ticket
sales, we split up any profits.

719
00:37:50,352 --> 00:37:52,729
That sounds good.
Can we see the space?

720
00:37:53,272 --> 00:37:55,315
Hey. Come on, guys, look.

721
00:37:55,399 --> 00:37:57,567
Is this a lovely room, huh?
It's nice.

722
00:37:57,859 --> 00:37:58,986
Is that a Steinway?

723
00:37:59,069 --> 00:38:00,862
Biggest one in this city.

724
00:38:00,946 --> 00:38:02,281
It's got a good vibe.
You know?

725
00:38:02,364 --> 00:38:05,200
<i>He seems like he really likes
our show, but he also seems like,</i>

726
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:08,870
if I'm being honest, like he's
slimy enough to get it done.

727
00:38:08,954 --> 00:38:10,247
Yeah.
Good slimy.

728
00:38:10,372 --> 00:38:12,332
You know?
I've actually got to get going,

729
00:38:12,416 --> 00:38:14,668
but, um, I'll see you at 9:00?

730
00:38:15,544 --> 00:38:16,962
Can we make it 9:30?

731
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:18,213
What are you guys working on?

732
00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:20,507
Writing packet <i>for Weekend Live.</i>

733
00:38:20,590 --> 00:38:22,759
Cool. I would get in on that.

734
00:38:24,261 --> 00:38:25,387
What do you mean?

735
00:38:25,887 --> 00:38:28,724
Like I'd submit
with you guys as a team.

736
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,768
Writing teams are two people.

737
00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:34,563
And we already kinda...

738
00:38:37,065 --> 00:38:40,110
Oh, yeah, yeah, no. No, I'll
do one, I'll do my own.

739
00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:44,614
<i>They should all, like, you want
the scenes, guys, to run about</i>

740
00:38:44,740 --> 00:38:46,908
<i>three minutes to four minutes, tops.
Gotcha.</i>

741
00:38:46,992 --> 00:38:50,495
<i>The whole packet should have like three
parody pieces, a commercial piece,</i>

742
00:38:50,579 --> 00:38:51,788
<i>a political piece.
That's good.</i>

743
00:38:51,872 --> 00:38:53,540
<i>Do you think they would
want, like, a cartoon form?</i>

744
00:38:53,623 --> 00:38:55,959
<i>Like, 'cause I was thinking about,
like, drawing them out a little bit</i>

745
00:38:56,043 --> 00:38:57,878
<i>so like, they read it
almost like a comic.</i>

746
00:38:57,961 --> 00:39:01,673
<i>Maybe draw a couple little
cartoons next to the script.</i>

747
00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:04,343
So there's this girl
and she's on a dating show,

748
00:39:04,426 --> 00:39:06,845
and she doesn't know
that she's fighting

749
00:39:06,928 --> 00:39:10,015
to win the love of an alien and
Sasquatch and Abe Lincoln's ghost.

750
00:39:10,182 --> 00:39:11,975
All right.
And then she wins Abe Lincoln

751
00:39:12,059 --> 00:39:13,727
and then he's like,
"I can't 'cause I'm married."

752
00:39:13,810 --> 00:39:17,189
And she's like, "Well, then,
why did you even join this game show?"

753
00:39:17,272 --> 00:39:19,191
And then he's like,
"'Cause I had a gun to my head."

754
00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:20,734
And then it's actually...

755
00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:24,529
It's John Wilkes Booth
and he's gonna shoot him.

756
00:39:24,821 --> 00:39:26,907
And then John Wilkes Booth is,
like, a handsome ghost,

757
00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:28,492
and he's like, "Well, I'm single."

758
00:39:28,575 --> 00:39:30,702
And she's into it
'cause she likes ghosts.

759
00:39:30,786 --> 00:39:32,371
That's out there.
That's awesome.

760
00:39:32,788 --> 00:39:35,624
Gary Cho could play that Sasquatch,
no problem.

761
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:38,710
No problem.
It's too plot heavy.

762
00:39:39,336 --> 00:39:40,629
I don't like it.

763
00:39:43,006 --> 00:39:45,175
Or they have to order
for him 'cause they're like...

764
00:39:55,268 --> 00:39:59,439
Hey, I've got a few friends that
want to submit some writing.

765
00:39:59,523 --> 00:40:03,235
Um, when would be, like, a good
time to talk to Timothy about that?

766
00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:05,112
Is this like a bit?

767
00:40:05,195 --> 00:40:06,571
No, no. No, I'm just asking.

768
00:40:06,655 --> 00:40:08,198
Oh, this is like a real thing?

769
00:40:08,490 --> 00:40:09,908
Oh, never.

770
00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:13,328
Don't ever talk to Timothy
about your funny friends.

771
00:40:13,412 --> 00:40:15,789
First year, just don't get fired.

772
00:40:15,872 --> 00:40:18,375
Right, right.
So don't ever...

773
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:20,127
So just don't ever do
it during the first year?

774
00:40:20,210 --> 00:40:24,381
I'm sorry. Was I... Was my, like,
tone not sarcastic enough?

775
00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:26,466
Never do it. Ever.

776
00:40:33,807 --> 00:40:34,808
Um...

777
00:40:35,267 --> 00:40:36,268
Um...

778
00:40:37,394 --> 00:40:41,314
So I'm filling in for Miles today.

779
00:40:41,398 --> 00:40:44,943
I have to confess, this is
my first-ever time teaching

780
00:40:45,026 --> 00:40:46,445
so it's new for me,
it's new for you,

781
00:40:46,528 --> 00:40:47,821
but I think it's gonna be great.

782
00:40:47,904 --> 00:40:50,073
I really think you guys...

783
00:40:50,365 --> 00:40:53,285
I see bright shiny eyes and
you're making me happy. Um...

784
00:40:54,077 --> 00:40:55,412
What did I wanna talk to you about?

785
00:40:55,495 --> 00:40:59,749
I wanted to talk to you about group mind.

786
00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:03,170
We're on the verge. I feel it, right?
So I want...

787
00:41:03,253 --> 00:41:05,464
Even when you're just coming in

788
00:41:05,547 --> 00:41:07,632
and doing warm-ups, zip zap zop,

789
00:41:07,716 --> 00:41:10,677
I want you guys to really be
connecting with each other.

790
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:11,761
Um...

791
00:41:12,762 --> 00:41:14,598
Does anybody have any questions?

792
00:41:15,891 --> 00:41:17,017
Yes.
I'm sorry.

793
00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:19,686
I'm just finding this really confusing.

794
00:41:22,022 --> 00:41:23,398
Good note. Good note.

795
00:41:23,565 --> 00:41:27,569
Uh, has anybody
had a particularly hard day?

796
00:41:27,903 --> 00:41:30,280
I had to come
back from France early.

797
00:41:30,363 --> 00:41:31,323
Oh!

798
00:41:34,618 --> 00:41:36,244
Oh!

799
00:41:37,287 --> 00:41:39,206
I went to Europe...

800
00:41:39,289 --> 00:41:41,625
Oh, the poor girl.
And I had to come home early!

801
00:41:41,708 --> 00:41:43,710
The poor girl had to go to Europe.
You guys...

802
00:41:43,793 --> 00:41:45,545
I had to go to France.

803
00:41:45,629 --> 00:41:47,923
Oh, honey.
She had to go to Europe.

804
00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:50,425
So is there anything we can do?
I...

805
00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:54,721
This is really depressing.
I don't... I'm sorry...

806
00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:58,600
I donate, uh, at the office for
kids who have to come back...

807
00:41:58,850 --> 00:42:00,894
Oh, yeah.
Back from Europe.

808
00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:03,647
I was gonna go to Belgium.

809
00:42:05,190 --> 00:42:07,150
Is there anything you can do?

810
00:42:07,317 --> 00:42:09,194
I don't know.
I mean, I'm kind of

811
00:42:09,277 --> 00:42:11,655
dealing with my own stuff right now.

812
00:42:12,155 --> 00:42:13,698
Um...
What kind of stuff?

813
00:42:13,782 --> 00:42:15,408
I have no bone marrow.

814
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,917
Hey, guys. Uh, this is Liz.

815
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,877
Hey.
Liz was at the show tonight.

816
00:42:25,961 --> 00:42:27,462
We went to Naperville High School together.
Hi.

817
00:42:27,546 --> 00:42:28,547
Oh, wow. Hi.

818
00:42:28,630 --> 00:42:29,714
We used to do high
school theater together.

819
00:42:29,798 --> 00:42:30,799
We did high school theater.

820
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:32,133
We did <i>A Midsummer Night's Dream.</i>

821
00:42:32,217 --> 00:42:33,426
That's right. Yeah.

822
00:42:33,510 --> 00:42:34,719
I used to watch her change.

823
00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:36,596
What?

824
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:40,141
Yeah, that's right. True story. Weird.
That's terrible.

825
00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:42,727
This was such a nice surprise.
Oh.

826
00:42:42,936 --> 00:42:45,230
Well, you know,
I'm on my world tour.

827
00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:46,690
And I've been following your posts

828
00:42:46,773 --> 00:42:48,692
on Facebook about
The Commune for years,

829
00:42:48,775 --> 00:42:50,402
so I had to check it out.
That's so cool.

830
00:42:50,485 --> 00:42:53,405
I remember in high school,
you were like the star of every play,

831
00:42:53,488 --> 00:42:56,950
and I was always like the
milkman or the messenger.

832
00:42:57,033 --> 00:42:58,785
Narrator.
Narrator.

833
00:42:58,868 --> 00:43:02,455
I was like a clown or the stage manager.

834
00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:04,833
Watch your head on the pipe.

835
00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,626
This is it.

836
00:43:06,710 --> 00:43:09,462
You know, not huge,
but neither am I.

837
00:43:10,755 --> 00:43:13,466
Wow. This is moving pretty fast.

838
00:43:13,550 --> 00:43:16,094
No, no , gosh. No, I...

839
00:43:17,012 --> 00:43:19,681
I wasn't gonna suggest that we...

840
00:43:19,764 --> 00:43:21,266
I'm not staying here.

841
00:43:21,349 --> 00:43:22,767
No, no, no, I didn't
think that you would.

842
00:43:22,851 --> 00:43:24,311
I'm a 36-year-old woman.
I'm not gonna

843
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:25,979
stay in, like, your college dorm.

844
00:43:26,062 --> 00:43:27,939
No, no, of course.
Here, no, sorry.

845
00:43:28,023 --> 00:43:30,900
You're misunderstanding.
I'm 36 as well.

846
00:43:31,776 --> 00:43:33,737
So I'm here for a few weeks.

847
00:43:33,820 --> 00:43:37,699
Oh, I'd love to see you
as much as, you know...

848
00:43:37,782 --> 00:43:39,576
As much as my schedule allows?

849
00:43:40,201 --> 00:43:41,536
Yeah. Hey!

850
00:43:43,246 --> 00:43:44,706
I had a great time.
Oh.

851
00:43:46,875 --> 00:43:49,294
You should come by tomorrow.
We're gonna watch Jack on TV.

852
00:43:49,377 --> 00:43:50,545
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'll do that.

853
00:43:50,629 --> 00:43:52,005
Yeah. Bye.

854
00:43:52,088 --> 00:43:53,089
Oh.

855
00:44:02,891 --> 00:44:05,435
"Thank you forever."

856
00:44:08,313 --> 00:44:10,065
Just be careful with those.

857
00:44:13,652 --> 00:44:16,613
<i>"Art which is most
exciting today is impermanent</i>

858
00:44:16,696 --> 00:44:19,949
"and not meant to last
except as an act of love.

859
00:44:20,033 --> 00:44:21,660
"It just comes out between people.

860
00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:23,161
"It doesn't want to be written down.

861
00:44:23,244 --> 00:44:25,955
"It passes in the moment
and disappears."

862
00:44:27,582 --> 00:44:29,000
So for tomorrow, do you wanna...

863
00:44:29,668 --> 00:44:30,669
Do you want me to get you seats

864
00:44:30,752 --> 00:44:32,629
or do you wanna just hang out
in my dressing room?

865
00:44:36,341 --> 00:44:38,927
I don't know if I can
go back in that building.

866
00:44:43,848 --> 00:44:44,849
Okay.

867
00:44:45,517 --> 00:44:47,352
I could meet you at the party.

868
00:44:48,019 --> 00:44:49,229
Yeah.

869
00:44:49,312 --> 00:44:51,439
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's good. Yeah.

870
00:44:58,113 --> 00:45:00,865
<i>It's Weekend Live!</i>

871
00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:02,409
We're gonna watch the show here,

872
00:45:02,492 --> 00:45:04,160
but Jack is gonna
get us into the party.

873
00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:12,794
<i>And Jack Mercer!</i>

874
00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:15,296
Ugh.

875
00:45:15,672 --> 00:45:16,798
Fuck.

876
00:45:17,132 --> 00:45:18,133
He did it.

877
00:45:18,591 --> 00:45:19,718
That's our guy.

878
00:45:32,856 --> 00:45:37,485
Five, four, three, two, one. Go!

879
00:45:38,486 --> 00:45:41,740
<i>Step right up! I can get your tickets
for you right here! Step right up!</i>

880
00:45:41,823 --> 00:45:43,575
<i>Tickets!
Yeah. Uh...</i>

881
00:45:43,658 --> 00:45:46,411
<i>I was gonna get two tickets, but I
was gonna use a kiosk or whatever.</i>

882
00:45:46,494 --> 00:45:48,079
<i>Look no further than me, friend.</i>

883
00:45:48,163 --> 00:45:49,456
<i>I can get you tickets right here</i>

884
00:45:49,539 --> 00:45:52,542
<i>and I can get 'em for you
at a G-R-E-A-T price!</i>

885
00:45:54,461 --> 00:45:55,837
Not funny.

886
00:45:57,005 --> 00:45:59,883
Skillful, but not funny.

887
00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:04,721
It's like when something sounds
funny, but it isn't funny.

888
00:46:05,847 --> 00:46:07,932
Please welcome ELEL.

889
00:46:54,145 --> 00:46:55,230
We gotta go!

890
00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:56,564
Dude, I'm coming!
I'm coming!

891
00:46:56,648 --> 00:46:59,108
Just give me one second.
Do not leave without me!

892
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:01,361
No room for your funny friends, Jack!

893
00:47:01,861 --> 00:47:03,154
Robbie, do not leave without me!

894
00:47:03,238 --> 00:47:04,572
We'll go, we'll hang outside
the Time Warner...

895
00:47:04,656 --> 00:47:05,824
Jack said meet him at the stage door.

896
00:47:05,907 --> 00:47:08,827
Stage door? We're not
waiting outside a building.

897
00:47:08,910 --> 00:47:11,120
Why not? He's probably there
looking for us right now.

898
00:47:11,246 --> 00:47:12,997
That's not even where the party is!
Let's go.

899
00:47:13,081 --> 00:47:14,082
Fine.

900
00:47:15,041 --> 00:47:19,838
Liz and I are not doing that.
We are 36-year-old adults.

901
00:47:23,883 --> 00:47:25,885
Lena! Lena!

902
00:47:25,969 --> 00:47:27,804
Lena! Lena!

903
00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:30,431
Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.

904
00:47:30,765 --> 00:47:31,850
Sorry.

905
00:47:31,933 --> 00:47:34,686
Hey. Hey, uh, you think
any more of 'em will come out?

906
00:47:35,270 --> 00:47:36,604
That's probably it.

907
00:47:36,855 --> 00:47:38,439
Hey, my man, you know
where the party's at?

908
00:47:39,107 --> 00:47:40,191
I don't know.

909
00:47:40,275 --> 00:47:41,526
Where'd you get that picture?

910
00:47:41,609 --> 00:47:43,027
Oh, that's our friend Jack.

911
00:47:43,111 --> 00:47:45,655
I don't know who he is. I just
found it on a message board.

912
00:47:45,738 --> 00:47:47,532
That's my boyfriend.

913
00:47:47,615 --> 00:47:50,368
Okay.
That's my arm around him in that picture.

914
00:47:50,451 --> 00:47:52,203
Yeah, that's her.
Yeah.

915
00:47:53,079 --> 00:47:55,915
Can you guys, like, give me a
little space or something?

916
00:47:56,416 --> 00:47:58,877
Yeah. I'm taking off, you guys.
I think Liz and I are done.

917
00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:00,753
Yeah, I'm outta here.
Really?

918
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:05,800
Excuse me.

919
00:48:09,929 --> 00:48:11,055
Hey.

920
00:48:11,639 --> 00:48:13,308
Have a seat.
Thank you.

921
00:48:14,767 --> 00:48:16,144
You were very good.

922
00:48:17,103 --> 00:48:19,939
Thank you so much.
It's just been so surreal.

923
00:48:20,023 --> 00:48:21,399
Don't thank me now.
It's weak.

924
00:48:21,482 --> 00:48:22,609
Right.

925
00:48:22,692 --> 00:48:24,319
Thank me if I don't fire you
after the first season.

926
00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:26,988
Right. Yeah.

927
00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:28,156
I'm kidding.

928
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:29,240
Oh.

929
00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:31,409
But I got you something.

930
00:48:32,577 --> 00:48:33,870
I'm gonna give you a hint.

931
00:48:34,287 --> 00:48:35,455
It's Swedish.

932
00:48:35,997 --> 00:48:37,290
It's wooden.

933
00:48:37,582 --> 00:48:38,583
It's a bicycle.

934
00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:39,876
Oh.

935
00:48:40,335 --> 00:48:43,421
Yeah, when Bjork did the show, she
brought her designer, Artipelag,

936
00:48:43,504 --> 00:48:47,258
and he made that by hand.

937
00:48:47,342 --> 00:48:49,844
Really? Thank you so much.
I...

938
00:48:50,678 --> 00:48:51,679
Um...

939
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,434
Uh, should I take it back
over to my table, or...

940
00:48:56,517 --> 00:48:58,436
Oh, we'll store that for you.

941
00:48:58,519 --> 00:49:00,688
Gotcha. Gotcha.
Or you could ride.

942
00:49:09,781 --> 00:49:10,782
Oh.

943
00:49:14,494 --> 00:49:15,495
Hey.
Mmm.

944
00:49:15,954 --> 00:49:17,789
Oh, boy, there she is.

945
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:20,083
Mmm.

946
00:49:20,166 --> 00:49:21,876
Hi.
No, buddy.

947
00:49:22,043 --> 00:49:23,795
Hello.
Ain't happenin'.

948
00:49:27,382 --> 00:49:28,841
That was like a baby bird.

949
00:49:29,008 --> 00:49:32,470
You know what? I'm gonna sleep
on the couch. You sleep in here.

950
00:49:41,521 --> 00:49:42,897
Hello.

951
00:49:43,231 --> 00:49:45,525
Mmm-mmm.
Oh, hello.

952
00:49:45,650 --> 00:49:47,318
Yeah, Timothy
recommended these. Um...

953
00:49:48,820 --> 00:49:50,071
They were imported from Holland.

954
00:49:50,154 --> 00:49:51,155
God.

955
00:49:51,322 --> 00:49:52,907
He gave them to Dorothy Goodwin
when she went into rehab.

956
00:49:52,991 --> 00:49:55,410
Oh!
Not these particular flowers.

957
00:49:55,493 --> 00:49:57,078
I'm just saying, you know,
it's from that place.

958
00:49:57,161 --> 00:49:58,705
Rehab flowers.
Yeah.

959
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:01,916
Hey. Sweetie.

960
00:50:02,917 --> 00:50:04,669
I am so sorry about last night.

961
00:50:04,752 --> 00:50:07,338
I'm so sorry and we're gonna
get through this, okay?

962
00:50:07,422 --> 00:50:08,673
I know.
All right?

963
00:50:09,215 --> 00:50:10,633
Thank you. All right.

964
00:50:10,717 --> 00:50:11,718
Love you.

965
00:50:12,010 --> 00:50:14,220
Where you going?
I, uh... I gotta go to work.

966
00:50:19,475 --> 00:50:23,187
He had a seizure last week,
actually, which is not a good sign.

967
00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:24,355
Really?

968
00:50:24,439 --> 00:50:25,606
Yeah.
We're all really on edge.

969
00:50:25,773 --> 00:50:28,526
God, that sucks, Bill. I'm sorry.
Yeah.

970
00:50:28,693 --> 00:50:31,529
It's been pretty grim.
It's been pretty grim, you know?

971
00:50:31,904 --> 00:50:34,115
So, here's
our writing packet.

972
00:50:34,282 --> 00:50:35,783
Yes. All right.
Yeah.

973
00:50:35,950 --> 00:50:37,368
We worked really hard on it.

974
00:50:37,452 --> 00:50:38,786
Yeah, it's good.
It's good.

975
00:50:38,953 --> 00:50:41,539
Got it. No, no, okay, guys,
absolutely. Um...

976
00:50:41,706 --> 00:50:43,791
Thanks.
You're welcome. Yeah.

977
00:50:43,958 --> 00:50:45,793
Remember, don't thank me yet,

978
00:50:45,877 --> 00:50:49,047
all I can do is try to get
it toward Timothy's desk.

979
00:50:49,130 --> 00:50:50,882
You know what I mean?
Yeah. Much appreciated.

980
00:50:50,965 --> 00:50:52,884
Yeah. Absolutely. But I
want you to also know

981
00:50:52,967 --> 00:50:54,635
that I am recommending everybody.

982
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,972
You know, I'm recommending you
guys and Miles, and you know...

983
00:50:58,056 --> 00:50:59,807
Yeah. Miles, yeah.

984
00:50:59,891 --> 00:51:01,434
Just remember,
we're the two that have

985
00:51:01,517 --> 00:51:02,977
never talked shit about you, you know?

986
00:51:03,061 --> 00:51:04,062
So...

987
00:51:05,772 --> 00:51:07,231
You know, Miles, I'm gonna
put in a good word for you,

988
00:51:07,315 --> 00:51:08,983
but it's not my job to give.

989
00:51:10,193 --> 00:51:11,486
Right.

990
00:51:12,570 --> 00:51:14,238
But they'll want me, right?

991
00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:17,992
I...

992
00:51:18,826 --> 00:51:19,994
I taught you.

993
00:51:20,078 --> 00:51:21,162
I know.

994
00:51:21,913 --> 00:51:23,623
I taught you everything.

995
00:51:23,998 --> 00:51:25,416
Just tell them that.

996
00:51:26,793 --> 00:51:29,420
They have Jack Mercer,
now they can get his teacher.

997
00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:37,804
I'm gonna...

998
00:51:39,055 --> 00:51:41,474
I'm gonna recommend all you guys.

999
00:51:42,350 --> 00:51:43,851
'Cause I think that's only fair.

1000
00:51:45,770 --> 00:51:47,188
This is very unattractive.

1001
00:51:48,815 --> 00:51:50,525
Your little hat...

1002
00:51:51,317 --> 00:51:53,027
And your attitude.

1003
00:51:53,111 --> 00:51:55,113
This whole, like,
"I'm bigger than everybody."

1004
00:51:55,196 --> 00:51:56,656
It's like, you're just like us.

1005
00:51:57,240 --> 00:51:59,450
Your head is so big right now.

1006
00:51:59,534 --> 00:52:03,287
Your whole egocentric world...

1007
00:52:03,371 --> 00:52:05,623
You're completely unaware.

1008
00:52:09,168 --> 00:52:10,211
You are...

1009
00:52:13,339 --> 00:52:15,550
You are striking out
at me right now

1010
00:52:16,134 --> 00:52:18,636
and I don't understand why
because I already told you

1011
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:21,806
all I can do is submit your packet

1012
00:52:21,889 --> 00:52:23,516
and let the chips fall where they may.

1013
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:49,750
You know, I just don't
feel like he believes in me.

1014
00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:52,545
My dad always told me,
"The thing with an easy sell

1015
00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:55,214
"is that the thing has to
actually be easy to sell."

1016
00:52:55,882 --> 00:52:57,008
What does that even mean?

1017
00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:59,510
Like, you have to have the goods.

1018
00:52:59,594 --> 00:53:00,845
Are you saying I don't have the goods?

1019
00:53:01,387 --> 00:53:04,515
I'm saying you can work on
the goods instead of working on Jack.

1020
00:53:04,599 --> 00:53:05,933
Do the work.

1021
00:53:06,017 --> 00:53:07,685
Oh, I've been working on the goods.

1022
00:53:09,270 --> 00:53:11,022
What are you doing?

1023
00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:14,442
Like, are you working right now?
Are you applying for anything?

1024
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:16,319
Uh, unemployment.

1025
00:53:17,862 --> 00:53:19,363
Unemployment?

1026
00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:23,034
Your parents own a brownstone
on the Upper West Side.

1027
00:53:23,201 --> 00:53:25,786
Yeah, they do.
I'm separate from them.

1028
00:53:27,079 --> 00:53:29,415
You go to therapy twice a week.
Who pays for that?

1029
00:53:30,082 --> 00:53:31,709
I'm not having this conversation.

1030
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:35,463
<i>I just think it's weird that
you're the richest one among us</i>

1031
00:53:35,546 --> 00:53:37,215
and you get checks
from the government that

1032
00:53:37,298 --> 00:53:40,301
we in some way pay for. Don't you
think that's true, Mr. Coughlin?

1033
00:53:40,384 --> 00:53:43,137
Miles, you gotta let this one go.

1034
00:53:43,221 --> 00:53:44,222
Dog, dog!

1035
00:53:44,555 --> 00:53:46,224
Hey, look what I got for you!

1036
00:53:47,308 --> 00:53:49,560
My dad bought two tickets

1037
00:53:49,644 --> 00:53:53,147
to the Marshfield High School
production of <i>Peter Pan.</i>

1038
00:53:53,231 --> 00:53:55,149
Aw! You look like Peter Pan.

1039
00:53:56,234 --> 00:53:58,694
Oh, I think he's just nostalgic for

1040
00:53:58,778 --> 00:54:01,656
back when I was the star of every play.
You know?

1041
00:54:02,365 --> 00:54:03,991
When I was in high school,

1042
00:54:04,075 --> 00:54:07,245
I won the Eisner Award for
most promising cartoonist,

1043
00:54:07,328 --> 00:54:09,997
and I've never had one book published.

1044
00:54:11,624 --> 00:54:14,585
Data's working on this graphic novel.
It's amazing.

1045
00:54:14,669 --> 00:54:16,087
Mmm.
Oh, I don't know.

1046
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:17,296
What's it about?

1047
00:54:18,422 --> 00:54:19,423
Okay.

1048
00:54:19,715 --> 00:54:23,761
So it's about this girl and
she lives in this small town

1049
00:54:23,844 --> 00:54:26,180
and then, well, she's a sculptor

1050
00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:27,848
and then the whole town
saves up money

1051
00:54:27,932 --> 00:54:29,684
and sends her to
the sculpture academy

1052
00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:32,645
and then when she gets there,
she never sculpts again.

1053
00:54:32,728 --> 00:54:33,896
Why not?

1054
00:54:33,980 --> 00:54:35,189
Because she's intimidated.

1055
00:54:36,691 --> 00:54:37,692
Can we read it?

1056
00:54:38,818 --> 00:54:40,861
Well, it's not done yet.

1057
00:55:02,133 --> 00:55:03,509
<i>Got your back.
Got your back.</i>

1058
00:55:03,592 --> 00:55:04,719
<i>Got your back.</i>

1059
00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:05,845
<i>Got your back.
Got your back.</i>

1060
00:55:05,928 --> 00:55:09,724
Got your back.
Got your back. Got your back.

1061
00:55:10,599 --> 00:55:13,644
Please welcome The Commune!

1062
00:55:15,646 --> 00:55:16,897
<i>We never even really left.</i>

1063
00:55:16,981 --> 00:55:18,149
<i>No.</i>

1064
00:55:18,899 --> 00:55:21,068
Wow. 
You just had to wish for us.

1065
00:55:26,949 --> 00:55:30,161
Here I am, 58 years
old and twice divorced

1066
00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:32,330
and finally my imaginary friends return.

1067
00:55:37,335 --> 00:55:39,503
Even if we're imaginary, we love you.

1068
00:55:39,587 --> 00:55:41,881
It's the only love you've ever felt.

1069
00:55:41,964 --> 00:55:42,965
You guys...

1070
00:55:45,593 --> 00:55:48,512
You feel more real than you
did even when I was a kid.

1071
00:55:49,180 --> 00:55:52,183
You're such a great guy.

1072
00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:54,769
Sorry none of your wives ever said that.

1073
00:56:00,816 --> 00:56:03,110
<i>And the most important
thing is, don't think.</i>

1074
00:56:03,194 --> 00:56:06,113
Del Close was the first one who said that.
It's everything.

1075
00:56:06,197 --> 00:56:07,865
You don't think, you don't memorize,
you don't...

1076
00:56:07,948 --> 00:56:09,033
You don't get paid.

1077
00:56:09,116 --> 00:56:12,828
Oh! Gary, so true. But isn't
that kinda fun, too? Right?

1078
00:56:12,953 --> 00:56:15,039
Aw.
I remember that one. What am I doing?

1079
00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:16,248
Oh, my God.

1080
00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:19,168
Remember that?
Oh, yeah! I totally remember that one.

1081
00:56:19,251 --> 00:56:20,252
Yeah.

1082
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:22,755
Let's use this box for storage.

1083
00:56:22,838 --> 00:56:23,964
So we'll just put stuff in here.

1084
00:56:24,048 --> 00:56:25,132
Okay.

1085
00:56:25,216 --> 00:56:26,675
We could wear them for pajamas.

1086
00:56:26,759 --> 00:56:27,843
Nighttime with this.

1087
00:56:27,927 --> 00:56:30,054
Do I wanna dream in these
Improv For America shirts?

1088
00:56:30,471 --> 00:56:32,139
They were supposed to go...
Guys.

1089
00:56:32,765 --> 00:56:35,393
You're not gonna believe what I just found.
Do you remember this?

1090
00:56:35,643 --> 00:56:39,230
These tuxedos my dad gave us after
he bought out that dry cleaner?

1091
00:56:39,313 --> 00:56:41,232
We used to actually
wear these in shows.

1092
00:56:41,315 --> 00:56:43,567
All right, what are we thinking?
Storage or garbage?

1093
00:56:43,651 --> 00:56:46,487
Oh, no, storage.
People loved these.

1094
00:56:46,570 --> 00:56:48,239
Why'd we stop wearing them?

1095
00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:49,907
It's so small.

1096
00:56:50,616 --> 00:56:51,909
I'm so small.

1097
00:56:53,494 --> 00:56:54,954
They were fun to wear.

1098
00:56:55,287 --> 00:56:56,497
Not a bad idea.

1099
00:56:56,580 --> 00:57:00,835
I was seriously worried that other
teams were gonna rip off the idea.

1100
00:57:01,460 --> 00:57:04,171
Do you guys feel like this
whole process is kinda like

1101
00:57:04,922 --> 00:57:07,216
life telling us to
just maybe move on?

1102
00:57:08,592 --> 00:57:11,512
Your writing packet is
really good, you guys.

1103
00:57:11,595 --> 00:57:14,682
You know, like, <i>Weekend Live</i>
would be lucky to have you.

1104
00:57:14,932 --> 00:57:17,560
Oh, my old... You don't want it?
No.

1105
00:57:17,643 --> 00:57:21,105
I feel like your 20s
are all about, like, hope,

1106
00:57:21,188 --> 00:57:22,398
and then your 30s are all about

1107
00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:25,109
realizing how dumb it was to hope.

1108
00:57:26,735 --> 00:57:28,946
Oh, my God. Look at you.

1109
00:57:29,321 --> 00:57:32,199
You look like a little
claymation seven-year-old.

1110
00:57:32,533 --> 00:57:34,910
Wait, let me see.
That's me, that's a boy.

1111
00:57:36,162 --> 00:57:39,457
Who is the one who looks
like he's made of flour and water?

1112
00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:41,959
I was 21 years old.

1113
00:57:42,918 --> 00:57:45,004
Like, without The Commune,
who am I?

1114
00:57:45,171 --> 00:57:47,631
You know, it's like
when I go to the grocery store

1115
00:57:47,715 --> 00:57:49,800
and people treat me like I don't exist.

1116
00:57:49,884 --> 00:57:51,552
I'm in my head, I'm like,
"Well, I got a secret.

1117
00:57:51,635 --> 00:57:54,972
"I go onstage, I kill.
I crush, I'm a superhero."

1118
00:57:56,599 --> 00:57:58,142
But without improv...

1119
00:57:58,851 --> 00:58:00,394
I'm kinda just a loser.

1120
00:58:05,232 --> 00:58:07,109
So it was like
a silent meditation retreat?

1121
00:58:07,193 --> 00:58:10,821
Yeah. In Brazil.
And everyone was quiet.

1122
00:58:10,905 --> 00:58:12,072
Okay.
For days.

1123
00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:13,157
Okay.

1124
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:14,492
It was incredible.

1125
00:58:14,575 --> 00:58:17,244
It was like I could hear myself
think for the first time,

1126
00:58:17,328 --> 00:58:18,746
I think, in my whole life.

1127
00:58:18,829 --> 00:58:20,581
I bet you got in
trouble for humming.

1128
00:58:20,998 --> 00:58:22,666
What do you mean?
'Cause you hum.

1129
00:58:22,750 --> 00:58:23,751
I remember that from algebra class.

1130
00:58:23,834 --> 00:58:24,835
What?

1131
00:58:24,919 --> 00:58:27,588
Mrs. Green always used to get
mad because you would hum

1132
00:58:27,671 --> 00:58:28,964
while you were doing equations.

1133
00:58:29,048 --> 00:58:31,717
You'd get this faraway look in your
eye and you'd just start humming.

1134
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,053
I could never figure out
what the song was.

1135
00:58:35,054 --> 00:58:37,014
Okay, you know
way too much about me.

1136
00:58:37,097 --> 00:58:38,265
Oh, that's the tip of the iceberg.

1137
00:58:38,349 --> 00:58:40,684
No, you're freaking me out.
I'm onto you!

1138
00:58:40,768 --> 00:58:42,811
Now will you sleep in my college dorm?

1139
00:58:42,895 --> 00:58:43,896
No!

1140
00:58:44,396 --> 00:58:45,606
I like you.

1141
00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:47,274
I like me, too.

1142
00:58:49,068 --> 00:58:51,695
You just said, "I like me, too."

1143
00:58:52,363 --> 00:58:53,531
No, I didn't. No.

1144
00:58:53,614 --> 00:58:55,199
Yes, you did. You totally did.

1145
00:58:57,076 --> 00:58:58,786
The point is, I like you, too.

1146
00:58:58,953 --> 00:58:59,954
Mmm.

1147
00:59:00,538 --> 00:59:01,539
Oh, hey.

1148
00:59:01,622 --> 00:59:03,290
Hey. What's going on?

1149
00:59:05,459 --> 00:59:07,795
I snuck out early to go to a pharmacy.

1150
00:59:10,548 --> 00:59:11,715
I'm pregnant.

1151
00:59:11,799 --> 00:59:12,967
Oh!

1152
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:14,051
Um...

1153
00:59:15,469 --> 00:59:16,887
Great.

1154
00:59:16,971 --> 00:59:18,389
That was fast.

1155
00:59:18,806 --> 00:59:20,975
Usually it takes

1156
00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:22,768
at least four to six visits.

1157
00:59:22,851 --> 00:59:25,062
No, it's this guy I met in Brazil.

1158
00:59:25,145 --> 00:59:26,272
I'm pretty sure.

1159
00:59:27,982 --> 00:59:30,609
The silent retreat guy?

1160
00:59:30,693 --> 00:59:31,694
Yeah.

1161
00:59:31,777 --> 00:59:35,656
The silent guy? You guys just
got straight to it, no talking?

1162
00:59:35,739 --> 00:59:38,492
Yeah. No words required.

1163
00:59:39,326 --> 00:59:40,327
Um...

1164
00:59:42,329 --> 00:59:43,831
Is he gonna be the dad, or...

1165
00:59:43,914 --> 00:59:46,333
No. He's young.

1166
00:59:47,793 --> 00:59:51,088
Young? 15? Illegal? What kinda thing?
I can keep a secret.

1167
00:59:55,759 --> 00:59:58,887
The first thing I thought when I
found out was, I can't keep it.

1168
01:00:00,431 --> 01:00:01,682
But then it hit me.

1169
01:00:02,516 --> 01:00:03,601
I'm not 19.

1170
01:00:25,581 --> 01:00:26,874
I gotta tell you something.

1171
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:27,958
Yeah?

1172
01:00:29,627 --> 01:00:30,628
I didn't...

1173
01:00:34,048 --> 01:00:35,466
What is it?

1174
01:00:35,549 --> 01:00:37,968
I didn't go to my <i>Weekend Live</i> audition.

1175
01:00:38,677 --> 01:00:39,970
I just didn't go.

1176
01:00:40,804 --> 01:00:41,805
Why?

1177
01:00:42,806 --> 01:00:44,141
I mean, why?
Why wouldn't you go?

1178
01:00:44,224 --> 01:00:46,935
I don't know.
I freaked out. I...

1179
01:00:47,019 --> 01:00:49,104
Life is so short and I feel like

1180
01:00:49,188 --> 01:00:51,023
you have to do things
that you believe in

1181
01:00:51,148 --> 01:00:53,108
or what is the point of all of this?
All right, yeah.

1182
01:00:53,192 --> 01:00:56,111
And I watch that show
and it's not for me.

1183
01:00:56,195 --> 01:00:59,490
I like my life how it is right now.
I like The Commune.

1184
01:00:59,823 --> 01:01:01,575
I know, Sam. I know.

1185
01:01:02,576 --> 01:01:04,912
The day you guys asked me
to join The Commune

1186
01:01:04,995 --> 01:01:07,164
was the greatest day of my life.

1187
01:01:07,247 --> 01:01:08,916
It was the greatest day of my life.

1188
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,836
But honey, you can't do
improv forever, okay?

1189
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:15,005
It ends, all right?
And I don't want it

1190
01:01:15,089 --> 01:01:17,007
to end either, but it will.
It just will.

1191
01:01:17,091 --> 01:01:19,677
We've gotta jump to the next lily pad.

1192
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:21,512
But I like this lily pad.

1193
01:01:22,513 --> 01:01:24,640
Honestly, you should be on this show.

1194
01:01:25,182 --> 01:01:26,350
You'd be better than me.

1195
01:01:27,559 --> 01:01:28,602
Okay?

1196
01:01:35,150 --> 01:01:37,653
<i>Think if, uh, I invited
the producers to come to</i>

1197
01:01:37,736 --> 01:01:39,238
<i>my improv show they would come?</i>

1198
01:01:39,613 --> 01:01:41,699
'Cause I just want 'em to see Sam again.

1199
01:01:41,782 --> 01:01:42,866
Okay.

1200
01:01:42,950 --> 01:01:44,368
I don't even wanna go to your improv show.

1201
01:01:45,619 --> 01:01:48,372
The only universe
I see that happening in

1202
01:01:48,455 --> 01:01:51,375
is if you got the host to go,
then maybe they would tag along.

1203
01:01:57,381 --> 01:01:58,382
Zip!
Zap!

1204
01:01:58,465 --> 01:01:59,466
Zop!
Zip!

1205
01:01:59,508 --> 01:02:00,551
Zop! Zap!

1206
01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:01,635
Zip!
Zap!

1207
01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:02,886
Wait, where's Miles?

1208
01:02:02,970 --> 01:02:04,972
He's in Naperville with Liz.

1209
01:02:05,472 --> 01:02:06,890
What are they doing?

1210
01:02:06,974 --> 01:02:08,559
The new guy is sanding the walls.

1211
01:02:08,642 --> 01:02:10,227
Who's the new tenant?

1212
01:02:10,310 --> 01:02:11,645
Urban Outfitters.

1213
01:02:12,563 --> 01:02:14,898
...placards. Anyway, but it's a
really beautiful neighborhood

1214
01:02:14,982 --> 01:02:16,942
with great restaurants.
You know...

1215
01:02:17,025 --> 01:02:18,235
Zop! Zap!
Zip!

1216
01:02:18,318 --> 01:02:20,070
Zip!
Zop! Zap!

1217
01:02:20,154 --> 01:02:21,155
Sorry.

1218
01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:22,656
You know what?
We should get on stage.

1219
01:02:22,740 --> 01:02:23,824
All right.
You sure?

1220
01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:27,411
Got your back. Got your back.
Got your back. Got your back.

1221
01:02:27,661 --> 01:02:30,080
And we are The Commune!

1222
01:02:33,792 --> 01:02:36,420
Uh, has anyone had
a particularly hard day?

1223
01:02:36,879 --> 01:02:38,046
Do the ticket taker guy!

1224
01:02:41,550 --> 01:02:44,845
That's a character that
Jack played on TV, yeah.

1225
01:02:44,928 --> 01:02:46,680
Uh, could we get
a different suggestion?

1226
01:02:46,930 --> 01:02:48,307
<i>Weekend Live!</i>

1227
01:02:49,975 --> 01:02:54,521
That is the name of a television show.
You nailed that. Um...

1228
01:02:56,815 --> 01:02:58,108
Anything...

1229
01:02:58,192 --> 01:02:59,693
Anything else?

1230
01:02:59,777 --> 01:03:00,944
Ben Stiller?

1231
01:03:01,028 --> 01:03:02,196
Ben Stiller.

1232
01:03:02,529 --> 01:03:05,824
Ben Stiller is a member of
tonight's audience, correct.

1233
01:03:06,241 --> 01:03:09,870
Yeah, I'm not... Yeah.

1234
01:03:09,953 --> 01:03:11,413
Uh...

1235
01:03:11,914 --> 01:03:14,708
Anything about a personal hard day?

1236
01:03:15,918 --> 01:03:17,586
Something that happened to you?

1237
01:03:23,175 --> 01:03:24,176
Uh...

1238
01:03:27,471 --> 01:03:30,057
Here, here!
I got a bushel of tickets!

1239
01:03:35,979 --> 01:03:39,566
I mean, there's no show, but I got tickets!

1240
01:03:39,817 --> 01:03:42,236
I got tickets!

1241
01:03:43,111 --> 01:03:45,405
Holy mackerel, look at you!

1242
01:03:45,656 --> 01:03:49,159
Is that Gena Rowlands, the actress?

1243
01:03:55,290 --> 01:04:00,003
It's not. I'm just
a regular ticket-loving lady.

1244
01:04:01,672 --> 01:04:04,132
You're telling me
you're not Gena Rowlands, huh?

1245
01:04:04,216 --> 01:04:08,428
I'm telling you
I'm not Gena Rowlands.

1246
01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:11,098
This is my improv group.
This is Ben, guys.

1247
01:04:11,181 --> 01:04:12,599
Hi, I'm Ben. How's it going?
Hi.

1248
01:04:12,683 --> 01:04:15,769
Great show. Great show, you guys
were great. Really, really funny.

1249
01:04:15,853 --> 01:04:18,021
Uh, thanks, but you
don't have to say that.

1250
01:04:18,647 --> 01:04:20,440
No, I know I don't have to say it.

1251
01:04:20,983 --> 01:04:22,067
Right. Right.

1252
01:04:22,150 --> 01:04:23,193
You guys were great.

1253
01:04:24,152 --> 01:04:26,947
Okay, I'm sorry, I have to ask,
I've always wondered.

1254
01:04:27,281 --> 01:04:29,700
Like, when you wake up in the morning,
are you just like,

1255
01:04:29,867 --> 01:04:32,703
"Oh, my God, I'm Ben Stiller"?
Um...

1256
01:04:34,079 --> 01:04:36,874
Yeah. Probably in the same way you
wake up in the morning and go,

1257
01:04:37,499 --> 01:04:38,542
"I'm Allison."

1258
01:04:38,876 --> 01:04:42,045
In <i>Heavyweights</i> and <i>Dodgeball</i>
and <i>Reality Bites,</i>

1259
01:04:42,129 --> 01:04:45,048
you've never shied away from
playing an unlikable character.

1260
01:04:45,132 --> 01:04:47,968
Like, what gives you that courage?

1261
01:04:48,051 --> 01:04:49,511
Um... Wow.

1262
01:04:50,762 --> 01:04:54,308
You know, I never really thought
of myself as unlikable, but...

1263
01:04:54,391 --> 01:04:55,976
Oh... I didn't...
You're not.

1264
01:04:56,059 --> 01:04:58,896
No, no, no, I'm just saying
as the character, obviously...

1265
01:04:59,271 --> 01:05:00,314
You know.

1266
01:05:00,898 --> 01:05:04,151
Did you think that the <i>Reality Bites</i>
guy was unlikable?

1267
01:05:04,526 --> 01:05:07,446
My question is who wrote the Eddie
Munster sketch? Did you write it?

1268
01:05:08,071 --> 01:05:10,657
Uh, yeah, yeah.
With my buddy, Jeff Kahn.

1269
01:05:10,741 --> 01:05:12,284
That's the best sketch.

1270
01:05:12,367 --> 01:05:13,577
That's such a...
It was the best.

1271
01:05:13,660 --> 01:05:14,912
Long time ago.

1272
01:05:14,995 --> 01:05:16,288
I didn't think you were unlikable in that.

1273
01:05:16,538 --> 01:05:18,415
Oh, no, no, no.
I know. I mean, I'm just...

1274
01:05:18,540 --> 01:05:20,167
Is the bathroom right over here?
Yeah, right over there.

1275
01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:22,044
All right, be right back. Yeah?
Just go to the right there.

1276
01:05:22,127 --> 01:05:23,086
Guys.
This is awesome.

1277
01:05:23,170 --> 01:05:24,171
It's great.

1278
01:05:24,338 --> 01:05:27,591
Please don't ask so many questions, okay?
This isn't <i>60 Minutes.</i>

1279
01:05:29,343 --> 01:05:30,344
Wow.

1280
01:05:32,012 --> 01:05:35,933
My students just arrived. I see
Gary and some of the other guys,

1281
01:05:36,016 --> 01:05:37,601
so I'm gonna go hang out with them.

1282
01:05:37,684 --> 01:05:39,353
Why? Why? Why?

1283
01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:41,688
'Cause I don't wanna get scolded tonight.

1284
01:05:42,481 --> 01:05:44,191
I'm not gonna scold you.
Why, was I...

1285
01:05:44,274 --> 01:05:45,359
Am I scolding?

1286
01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:47,778
I don't understand, I was...
Was I scolding you guys?

1287
01:05:47,861 --> 01:05:49,738
Wait, don't sit here.
Ben'll sit here.

1288
01:05:52,157 --> 01:05:53,325
No, no.

1289
01:05:53,533 --> 01:05:55,285
There are two types of bad shows.

1290
01:05:55,369 --> 01:05:56,620
There's the type of bad show where

1291
01:05:56,703 --> 01:05:58,288
you all sell each other out onstage

1292
01:05:58,372 --> 01:05:59,790
and nobody hangs out afterwards

1293
01:05:59,873 --> 01:06:01,375
and then there's the type of bad show

1294
01:06:01,667 --> 01:06:03,085
where you all go down together

1295
01:06:03,168 --> 01:06:05,963
and then you come to the bar
afterwards and you laugh about it.

1296
01:06:06,046 --> 01:06:08,465
And that is the type of bad show
that I want you guys to have.

1297
01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:10,217
Yeah, no, yeah, we do that all the time.

1298
01:06:10,300 --> 01:06:11,969
You gotta love each other, okay?

1299
01:06:12,052 --> 01:06:14,471
You gotta be willing to be broke.

1300
01:06:14,554 --> 01:06:17,933
You gotta be willing to hit rock bottom.

1301
01:06:18,016 --> 01:06:19,643
Together!
Oh, we're definitely broke.

1302
01:06:19,726 --> 01:06:21,311
I mean, we all share
a one bedroom in Bushwick.

1303
01:06:21,395 --> 01:06:22,562
It's terrible, so I mean, we...

1304
01:06:22,646 --> 01:06:23,689
Way to own it, guys!

1305
01:06:23,772 --> 01:06:25,023
This is a game called Blurt.

1306
01:06:25,107 --> 01:06:26,525
You pick one person,
you say the first thing

1307
01:06:26,608 --> 01:06:27,985
about them that comes to your mind.

1308
01:06:28,068 --> 01:06:29,695
Connor. Go!
You're fat.

1309
01:06:29,778 --> 01:06:30,988
You're dangerous.
You're a little slow.

1310
01:06:31,071 --> 01:06:32,489
Uh, this game hurts my feelings.

1311
01:06:32,656 --> 01:06:34,074
20 years from now,
oceans are gonna rise

1312
01:06:34,157 --> 01:06:35,492
and wipe out the Eastern Seaboard

1313
01:06:35,575 --> 01:06:36,910
and no one's gonna care
who made what album

1314
01:06:36,994 --> 01:06:38,662
whereas the Beach Boys
has already had a 50-year run.

1315
01:06:38,745 --> 01:06:40,247
I mean, we're still talking
about <i>Pet Sounds</i> now

1316
01:06:40,330 --> 01:06:41,915
and that came out, what, in '67?

1317
01:06:41,999 --> 01:06:43,917
No, nobody's talking about <i>Pet Sounds.</i>

1318
01:06:44,084 --> 01:06:46,086
But in 2050, are people
gonna know who Drake is?

1319
01:06:46,253 --> 01:06:47,921
Once the Eastern Seaboard's flooded

1320
01:06:48,005 --> 01:06:50,340
are you gonna care about the Beach Boys?
I would argue that...

1321
01:06:50,424 --> 01:06:52,092
Yeah, more! More!
Surfing songs will be more relevant.

1322
01:06:52,175 --> 01:06:53,760
Because there'd be more water surface area.

1323
01:06:53,927 --> 01:06:54,928
Yeah.

1324
01:07:23,415 --> 01:07:26,043
Uh, these are some writing samples

1325
01:07:26,126 --> 01:07:28,378
from some of the improvisers in my group

1326
01:07:28,462 --> 01:07:31,298
and they're really
a talented bunch of guys.

1327
01:07:31,757 --> 01:07:34,051
I just wondered if you
wanted to look at 'em.

1328
01:07:34,509 --> 01:07:36,219
Jack, you should worry about yourself.

1329
01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:37,637
Oh, okay.

1330
01:07:39,848 --> 01:07:42,726
I'm cutting you from <i>Jugglers with Vertigo.</i>

1331
01:07:44,144 --> 01:07:45,479
Oh, okay.

1332
01:07:46,605 --> 01:07:49,483
You know, you're not
what we call a pure talent.

1333
01:07:49,566 --> 01:07:51,026
You're not a virtuoso.

1334
01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:55,739
You're the kind of player
who should write for himself.

1335
01:07:58,283 --> 01:08:01,661
And if I don't get it, then I'll
move to Naperville with you guys.

1336
01:08:04,372 --> 01:08:05,373
Miles.

1337
01:08:06,124 --> 01:08:07,584
No. You don't...

1338
01:08:08,126 --> 01:08:10,670
This isn't for you.
This is...

1339
01:08:11,922 --> 01:08:14,424
No, this is for me.
I'm just...

1340
01:08:15,342 --> 01:08:17,010
Maybe give me a chance?

1341
01:08:18,470 --> 01:08:19,471
Come on.

1342
01:08:20,138 --> 01:08:21,515
If it's a boy

1343
01:08:22,140 --> 01:08:24,017
we name him Rodrigo.

1344
01:08:26,228 --> 01:08:28,522
To respect his Brazilian roots.

1345
01:08:28,605 --> 01:08:29,940
Rodrigo..

1346
01:08:31,316 --> 01:08:34,194
Have an open mind.
I know when you look at me,

1347
01:08:34,277 --> 01:08:36,863
I get what you're seeing,
but I'm also...

1348
01:08:36,947 --> 01:08:39,950
I want to think that
I can be better than that.

1349
01:08:45,247 --> 01:08:48,959
<i>Tickets are now on sale
for our show this weekend</i>

1350
01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:50,627
<i>at the 45th Street Lounge.</i>

1351
01:08:58,260 --> 01:08:59,803
Will Jack be there?

1352
01:08:59,886 --> 01:09:01,304
Uh, no, he has a show that night,

1353
01:09:01,388 --> 01:09:05,058
but this is kind of like
a test run for a longer run.

1354
01:09:05,142 --> 01:09:06,810
And if it goes well,
we'll have more shows,

1355
01:09:06,893 --> 01:09:09,062
and then Jack will
definitely be at those.

1356
01:09:09,396 --> 01:09:11,606
Oh!
Oh!

1357
01:09:12,065 --> 01:09:14,401
You wouldn't "aww" if you knew him better.

1358
01:09:14,901 --> 01:09:16,486
How much are tickets?

1359
01:09:16,570 --> 01:09:19,823
They're $45, but down the road
there may be discounts.

1360
01:09:19,906 --> 01:09:22,325
Uh, but don't wait for down
the road, okay, 'cause, uh,

1361
01:09:22,409 --> 01:09:25,287
we don't know that there's
gonna be a road to go down.

1362
01:09:25,370 --> 01:09:26,454
So please come.

1363
01:09:26,538 --> 01:09:28,165
And we know that's more expensive than

1364
01:09:28,248 --> 01:09:29,749
you're used to paying for our shows,

1365
01:09:29,833 --> 01:09:34,087
but, um, you know, we promise
that it'll be of a high quality

1366
01:09:34,171 --> 01:09:37,424
and we're just trying to
keep the thing alive, so...

1367
01:09:38,341 --> 01:09:39,509
Uh, thanks.

1368
01:09:40,719 --> 01:09:44,014
Okay. Anybody had a particularly hard day?

1369
01:09:44,472 --> 01:09:46,516
Yeah, we're sad Jack's not here.

1370
01:09:56,818 --> 01:09:59,362
He was a very good man.

1371
01:10:01,573 --> 01:10:03,783
Loved him.
I loved him so much.

1372
01:10:04,576 --> 01:10:06,036
He died so young. Um...

1373
01:10:06,119 --> 01:10:08,455
But not as young as you think he is.

1374
01:10:08,622 --> 01:10:11,249
And he also had bad skin.

1375
01:10:11,333 --> 01:10:13,335
Mmm.

1376
01:10:14,211 --> 01:10:15,545
I miss him.

1377
01:10:15,629 --> 01:10:18,715
When you talked to him, he would
"uh-huh" and really be there

1378
01:10:18,798 --> 01:10:21,718
and you could almost forget that
he was just waiting for you

1379
01:10:21,801 --> 01:10:23,303
to stop talking so he could talk.

1380
01:10:23,386 --> 01:10:24,429
Yeah.

1381
01:10:24,721 --> 01:10:26,598
Friends, I have terrible news.

1382
01:10:26,681 --> 01:10:28,475
Worse than Jack being dead?

1383
01:10:31,228 --> 01:10:34,231
Um, it turns out Jack is
really popular in heaven.

1384
01:10:34,314 --> 01:10:37,817
And, uh, his new friends

1385
01:10:37,901 --> 01:10:39,903
are having a funeral for him there.

1386
01:10:39,986 --> 01:10:41,238
In heaven?

1387
01:10:41,404 --> 01:10:43,031
Uh, yeah, in Brooklyn.

1388
01:10:44,366 --> 01:10:46,159
And, uh, they have his body.

1389
01:10:46,493 --> 01:10:47,577
What?
Yeah.

1390
01:10:47,661 --> 01:10:49,412
What's in this casket?

1391
01:10:50,038 --> 01:10:51,790
Uh, it's just his headshot.

1392
01:11:12,310 --> 01:11:13,853
Let me help you with that there.

1393
01:11:16,147 --> 01:11:18,441
You got a memento
from the theater there, huh?

1394
01:11:18,817 --> 01:11:21,486
Maybe I'll keep
the theater going somewhere.

1395
01:11:29,869 --> 01:11:31,997
Okay. I gotta go to work.

1396
01:11:41,423 --> 01:11:43,633
We've got "Scooby-Doo gets put down."

1397
01:11:43,717 --> 01:11:45,635
"Kim Jong-un on <i>The Bachelorette."</i>

1398
01:11:45,719 --> 01:11:48,555
They're not getting on.

1399
01:11:48,638 --> 01:11:50,724
Is there anything from your live shows?

1400
01:11:50,807 --> 01:11:52,851
Any, like, go-to characters you do?

1401
01:12:11,369 --> 01:12:14,331
All right, so we're in
the red. Live and learn.

1402
01:12:14,873 --> 01:12:16,082
You can keep that.

1403
01:12:19,711 --> 01:12:22,922
I heard from my guy at
<i>Weekend Live</i> about your writing sample.

1404
01:12:23,089 --> 01:12:25,258
It's not gonna happen for you there, Miles.

1405
01:12:34,601 --> 01:12:36,102
Did you talk to Bonnie?

1406
01:12:36,186 --> 01:12:38,605
Yeah. We didn't get it.

1407
01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:41,524
So all of us got rejected?

1408
01:12:42,567 --> 01:12:43,693
Fuck.

1409
01:12:46,571 --> 01:12:49,866
<i>It's got two bedrooms, new kitchen,
beautiful bathroom.</i>

1410
01:12:50,950 --> 01:12:52,202
<i>Is that a toilet?</i>

1411
01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:55,163
<i>Well, obviously the bathroom
is in the kitchen.</i>

1412
01:12:55,246 --> 01:12:56,664
<i>Oh.</i>

1413
01:12:56,748 --> 01:12:59,000
<i>And then who are they?</i>

1414
01:12:59,334 --> 01:13:01,002
<i>Oh! Those are two small orphans.</i>

1415
01:13:01,461 --> 01:13:02,712
<i>Hi.
Hi.</i>

1416
01:13:04,255 --> 01:13:05,298
<i>Orphans?</i>

1417
01:13:05,965 --> 01:13:08,301
<i>The apartment comes with these two orphans.</i>

1418
01:13:09,636 --> 01:13:10,762
<i>But you can put a piece of furniture</i>

1419
01:13:10,845 --> 01:13:11,888
<i>in front of 'em if you want to.</i>

1420
01:13:11,971 --> 01:13:13,390
<i>Maybe put 'em in a hamper.</i>

1421
01:13:14,224 --> 01:13:15,475
He can't do that.

1422
01:13:15,558 --> 01:13:17,644
<i>And does the landlord mind if I paint?</i>

1423
01:13:18,061 --> 01:13:20,522
We've been replaced by Ben Stiller.

1424
01:13:24,818 --> 01:13:26,903
Fuck that!
I'm goin' to the party.

1425
01:13:54,848 --> 01:13:56,015
Hey, Jack!

1426
01:13:56,099 --> 01:13:57,100
Oh, excuse me. One second.

1427
01:13:57,267 --> 01:13:58,518
Miles, what's goin' on?

1428
01:13:59,477 --> 01:14:00,645
What are you guys doing here?

1429
01:14:00,728 --> 01:14:01,729
We saw the show tonight.

1430
01:14:01,813 --> 01:14:03,273
One of those sketches looked
pretty familiar, actually.

1431
01:14:03,356 --> 01:14:04,607
We can talk about this,
but not right here.

1432
01:14:04,691 --> 01:14:06,526
No, right now! Why don't you
just grab a drink, hang out.

1433
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:08,319
Everything okay, Jack?
We're fine. We're good.

1434
01:14:08,403 --> 01:14:09,779
You're a fucking thief!

1435
01:14:09,863 --> 01:14:10,947
Miles, you know what?
You don't understand

1436
01:14:11,030 --> 01:14:12,365
how hard this job is, okay?

1437
01:14:12,449 --> 01:14:14,534
I have tried to sell you.
It is not easy. Ow!

1438
01:14:14,617 --> 01:14:16,286
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
I'm fine, I'm fine.

1439
01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:18,163
Okay, you're goin' outside.
Hey! Hey!

1440
01:14:18,246 --> 01:14:19,497
I don't respond to that.

1441
01:14:19,581 --> 01:14:21,416
What?
Hold on, what's going on?

1442
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:28,089
Wow! Jesus!

1443
01:14:28,173 --> 01:14:30,133
Miles, that wasn't the fuckin' plan.

1444
01:14:30,216 --> 01:14:31,551
That's just how I felt.
I'm sorry.

1445
01:14:31,634 --> 01:14:33,303
What the fuck, Miles?

1446
01:14:33,928 --> 01:14:36,306
What happened?
I stuck up for all of us.

1447
01:14:36,389 --> 01:14:37,807
And I'm goin' back in there!

1448
01:14:38,141 --> 01:14:40,059
You fucking psycho!

1449
01:14:40,143 --> 01:14:41,519
Miles, just relax.

1450
01:14:41,603 --> 01:14:42,645
Where were you?

1451
01:14:43,480 --> 01:14:44,564
I was out here.

1452
01:14:44,939 --> 01:14:46,107
Doing what?

1453
01:14:48,026 --> 01:14:52,280
I didn't wanna embarrass myself
in front of my co-workers.

1454
01:14:55,533 --> 01:14:56,910
What does that mean?

1455
01:14:58,411 --> 01:15:00,246
I got the writing job on <i>Weekend Live.</i>

1456
01:15:01,164 --> 01:15:02,999
Motherfucker!

1457
01:15:04,501 --> 01:15:06,252
They gave it to you?

1458
01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:09,672
You didn't even tell us you
were submitting. That is so weird.

1459
01:15:09,756 --> 01:15:12,425
We showed you our packet.
We showed you our shit

1460
01:15:12,509 --> 01:15:14,010
and you didn't even say a thing?

1461
01:15:14,093 --> 01:15:16,179
I didn't think I was gonna get it,
and I was embarrassed.

1462
01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:17,555
That is so shady.
And you're not

1463
01:15:17,639 --> 01:15:19,182
even gonna last five minutes there.

1464
01:15:19,265 --> 01:15:21,100
'Cause you have no work ethic.

1465
01:15:21,601 --> 01:15:22,602
Bill's right.

1466
01:15:24,020 --> 01:15:25,688
You've taken nine years and you still

1467
01:15:25,772 --> 01:15:27,941
haven't finished your doodle book.

1468
01:15:38,409 --> 01:15:42,789
I think what kills me is that you don't
even know what it's like to work.

1469
01:15:43,456 --> 01:15:44,916
You've had everything in your life

1470
01:15:44,999 --> 01:15:46,501
handed to you on a silver platter.

1471
01:15:47,377 --> 01:15:50,213
I didn't get handed this!
I turned in a writing submission

1472
01:15:50,296 --> 01:15:51,548
and it was good!

1473
01:15:56,844 --> 01:15:59,055
No one wants to say this, Miles,

1474
01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:01,391
but you don't have it.

1475
01:16:04,269 --> 01:16:07,730
You were never inches away from anything.

1476
01:16:10,149 --> 01:16:11,526
Fuck you, Lindsay.

1477
01:16:11,609 --> 01:16:14,571
You won't, 'cause I'm not 22
and I'm not your student.

1478
01:16:48,021 --> 01:16:49,897
You gotta let go, Miles.

1479
01:16:51,899 --> 01:16:54,611
All this <i>Weekend Live</i> shit is meaningless.

1480
01:16:55,695 --> 01:16:57,030
You've got The Commune.

1481
01:16:59,407 --> 01:17:02,577
We only got one more show.
I don't wanna do it alone.

1482
01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:12,795
Please welcome The Commune!

1483
01:17:40,073 --> 01:17:43,409
Has anybody had a particularly hard day?

1484
01:17:44,869 --> 01:17:45,995
Yeah, you have.

1485
01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:52,043
You're right.

1486
01:17:53,211 --> 01:17:55,838
You're right.
I have had a hard...

1487
01:17:58,049 --> 01:17:59,050
Month.

1488
01:18:02,804 --> 01:18:04,597
And I just feel like I'm...

1489
01:18:09,352 --> 01:18:11,270
I feel like I'm in a...

1490
01:18:15,024 --> 01:18:16,025
Guys!

1491
01:18:16,818 --> 01:18:20,029
I'm down here! I'm in a well!

1492
01:18:21,531 --> 01:18:23,199
Sam is in a well?

1493
01:18:23,282 --> 01:18:25,993
Oh, my God, this is a disaster!

1494
01:18:27,286 --> 01:18:29,122
Oh, no, she's in a well!
Oh, what will we do?

1495
01:18:29,205 --> 01:18:31,708
She's in a well, oh, my God!
It's so bad, it's so bad!

1496
01:18:32,166 --> 01:18:35,128
Guys, stop worrying about me.
I'm fine. I...

1497
01:18:35,753 --> 01:18:37,964
I actually kinda like it down here.

1498
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:42,218
It's quiet and it's cool.

1499
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:46,556
There's water.

1500
01:18:48,766 --> 01:18:50,685
Oh! Ow.

1501
01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:53,604
Ow. Is somebody throwing pennies?

1502
01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:57,150
Um, sorry, milady.

1503
01:18:57,316 --> 01:19:02,155
I was making a wish
for my dying Aunt Fiona.

1504
01:19:02,739 --> 01:19:04,115
Oh!

1505
01:19:04,198 --> 01:19:08,870
That's an unplaceable accent
you've got there.

1506
01:19:10,955 --> 01:19:14,375
But if it's for your
sick Aunt Fiona, please.

1507
01:19:16,627 --> 01:19:18,504
Is that my boyfriend Jack?

1508
01:19:19,213 --> 01:19:21,591
Yeah. What do you need?
I'll get it for you, I got it.

1509
01:19:21,758 --> 01:19:24,927
No, I... I'm fine.

1510
01:19:25,011 --> 01:19:27,180
That's what I want you to know,
is that I'm fine.

1511
01:19:27,263 --> 01:19:29,766
You don't have to worry about me.

1512
01:19:29,849 --> 01:19:31,184
I'm not worried about you, honey.

1513
01:19:31,476 --> 01:19:35,021
I'm not worried at all.
I'm just here to support you.

1514
01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:36,105
Uh...

1515
01:19:36,814 --> 01:19:37,815
Hey.

1516
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:41,110
What's goin' on?

1517
01:19:41,819 --> 01:19:46,199
Did you, uh, fall in a well?

1518
01:19:47,033 --> 01:19:48,117
I did.

1519
01:19:48,201 --> 01:19:50,578
Ah! Yes, because that's... Yes.

1520
01:19:50,661 --> 01:19:56,042
Uh, but you don't have to worry about me,
because I like it down here.

1521
01:19:56,375 --> 01:19:59,879
No, I will not leave you, okay?
I'm lowering down the bucket.

1522
01:19:59,962 --> 01:20:02,131
Oh, you could never pull me up, though.

1523
01:20:02,215 --> 01:20:04,926
I have very heavy bones.

1524
01:20:05,510 --> 01:20:08,054
I'm fully aware of that,
and I took precautions.

1525
01:20:08,137 --> 01:20:10,389
Those magical beans that were sitting
on the counter this morning?

1526
01:20:10,473 --> 01:20:12,391
I ate those and they
gave me super strength.

1527
01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:13,726
Honey, I'm so sorry to tell you,

1528
01:20:13,810 --> 01:20:16,103
but those were just
black beans from Chipotle.

1529
01:20:17,814 --> 01:20:20,650
Right.
But the good thing is that

1530
01:20:20,733 --> 01:20:24,695
I hired a wizard, who was
surprisingly affordable

1531
01:20:25,029 --> 01:20:27,240
and he cast a spell over those beans

1532
01:20:27,323 --> 01:20:29,158
and now I have super strength.

1533
01:20:30,284 --> 01:20:33,329
I'm just saying, you know,
I am not gonna leave you.

1534
01:20:38,918 --> 01:20:39,919
Sam.

1535
01:20:46,050 --> 01:20:47,093
Honey.

1536
01:20:49,595 --> 01:20:51,556
Maybe I belong in the well.

1537
01:20:55,852 --> 01:20:57,687
I think we both know it's over.

1538
01:20:59,605 --> 01:21:00,940
It's okay.

1539
01:21:06,112 --> 01:21:07,446
<i>Del Close once said,</i>

1540
01:21:07,530 --> 01:21:09,949
<i>"Watching great improv is like watching</i>

1541
01:21:10,032 --> 01:21:13,119
<i>"people put the plane together
when they're already in the sky."</i>

1542
01:21:15,621 --> 01:21:19,375
<i>It's not meant to last,
except as an act of love.</i>

1543
01:21:20,877 --> 01:21:23,296
<i>It passes in a moment and disappears.</i>

1544
01:21:32,638 --> 01:21:34,265
Hello, hello!

1545
01:21:34,348 --> 01:21:35,892
Oh, my God.

1546
01:21:36,809 --> 01:21:38,728
Hi.
Oh, my gosh!

1547
01:21:38,811 --> 01:21:40,396
You're great!

1548
01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:42,106
Oh! He's sad!

1549
01:21:42,189 --> 01:21:43,733
Oh! Don't cry!
Don't be sad!

1550
01:21:43,816 --> 01:21:45,318
You're in America.

1551
01:21:55,202 --> 01:21:59,081
<i>Before</i> Weekend Live <i>and</i>
Second City <i>and</i> ImprovOlympic

1552
01:21:59,165 --> 01:22:02,168
and all the TV shows that came
out of these theater movements,

1553
01:22:02,251 --> 01:22:04,587
Viola Spolin and Paul Sills and Del Close

1554
01:22:04,670 --> 01:22:07,256
and a bunch of people
in Chicago and San Francisco

1555
01:22:07,340 --> 01:22:10,384
in the 1950s and '60s
created this art form.

1556
01:22:10,551 --> 01:22:11,969
My dad lived one kind of lifestyle,

1557
01:22:12,053 --> 01:22:14,055
I live a very different lifestyle.

1558
01:22:14,847 --> 01:22:17,725
He didn't always understand me,
but he always respected me.

1559
01:22:18,309 --> 01:22:20,019
I loved that about my dad.

1560
01:22:21,479 --> 01:22:23,272
The last six months,
I got to know my dad

1561
01:22:23,356 --> 01:22:25,483
better than the rest
of our lives combined.

1562
01:22:25,691 --> 01:22:27,985
Listen, I'll be on the next
train home, all right?

1563
01:22:28,152 --> 01:22:30,738
It's not even gonna make dress,
so don't worry about it. Bye.

1564
01:22:31,864 --> 01:22:34,200
Hey, great service.
Thank you so much, Father.

1565
01:22:34,367 --> 01:22:36,869
That was great.
I missed just a tiny bit.

1566
01:22:38,079 --> 01:22:39,080
Thanks, buddy.

1567
01:22:39,246 --> 01:22:41,374
Wait, so who wins Jenga?

1568
01:22:43,626 --> 01:22:45,211
Hey, guys.
Hey.

1569
01:22:45,378 --> 01:22:48,965
Thanks for making it down.
I know it's not very convenient, so...

1570
01:22:49,048 --> 01:22:51,175
Yeah, buddy, absolutely, man.

1571
01:22:52,635 --> 01:22:55,554
Thanks for letting me and Liz and
Rodrigo crash in the guest room.

1572
01:22:55,638 --> 01:22:56,889
Yeah, no sweat, man.

1573
01:22:57,056 --> 01:22:58,641
He has your eyes, you know?

1574
01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:01,394
Not my biological son.

1575
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:04,063
I don't know.
You look pretty Brazilian.

1576
01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:08,025
Yeah, and the consistency
of the hair is uncanny.

1577
01:23:09,986 --> 01:23:11,278
"Thank you."

1578
01:23:11,362 --> 01:23:12,571
Aw, man!

1579
01:23:12,655 --> 01:23:15,533
That is entirely unacceptable.
He's dead.

1580
01:23:15,783 --> 01:23:17,827
That's a dead man you're mocking.

1581
01:23:17,910 --> 01:23:21,080
"Thank you."

1582
01:23:21,205 --> 01:23:24,166
Um, I just called a car to come get Jack,

1583
01:23:24,250 --> 01:23:25,543
bring him to the train station,

1584
01:23:25,626 --> 01:23:27,795
so maybe we'll wait outside for
that, and then after that,

1585
01:23:27,878 --> 01:23:29,380
I can show you guys the theater.

1586
01:23:30,256 --> 01:23:32,425
Oh, yeah? What's the theater?

1587
01:23:32,508 --> 01:23:36,012
Well, my dad actually
bought this old porn theater

1588
01:23:36,095 --> 01:23:40,016
and we're gonna fix it up,
turn it into an improv space.

1589
01:23:40,099 --> 01:23:42,143
Yeah, we're gonna teach and have shows.

1590
01:23:42,226 --> 01:23:44,270
We're actually doing a show
for Data's graphic novel.

1591
01:23:44,353 --> 01:23:46,105
Oh!
You finished it.

1592
01:23:46,272 --> 01:23:48,107
Yeah.
Thatta girl.

1593
01:23:49,817 --> 01:23:51,444
Well, that's you, Jack.
Yeah.

1594
01:23:51,861 --> 01:23:53,612
Well, here we go, guys.

1595
01:23:53,904 --> 01:23:56,032
Bye, Jack. Have a good one.
See ya.

1596
01:23:56,115 --> 01:23:57,491
See ya, see ya. Bye-bye.

1597
01:24:04,415 --> 01:24:05,666
You know, I think maybe I'll go to

1598
01:24:05,750 --> 01:24:07,501
the theater with you guys.
How 'bout that?

1599
01:24:07,585 --> 01:24:09,920
No. It's the last train to New York.
You gotta get on it.

1600
01:24:10,046 --> 01:24:12,631
Yeah, but...
You know you're cutting it close.

1601
01:24:22,266 --> 01:24:23,601
We love you, pal.

1602
01:24:26,187 --> 01:24:28,064
All right, I'll see you Monday at work.

1603
01:24:30,775 --> 01:24:31,776
Billy.

1604
01:24:35,112 --> 01:24:36,238
Got your back.

1605
01:24:40,409 --> 01:24:41,494
Bye.

1606
01:25:18,739 --> 01:25:20,741
Wow.

1607
01:25:21,784 --> 01:25:23,327
Come on!

1608
01:25:23,536 --> 01:25:26,956
Well, it needs a lot
of work, but it's ours.

1609
01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:29,250
We get to program the whole thing

1610
01:25:29,333 --> 01:25:30,793
and we're just gonna try to find some,

1611
01:25:30,876 --> 01:25:32,211
like, local kids who are hungry,

1612
01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:34,547
try to build a scene
here in town, you know?

1613
01:25:35,047 --> 01:25:37,633
Has anyone had a particularly hard day?

1614
01:25:39,009 --> 01:25:40,052
You.

1615
01:25:41,011 --> 01:25:43,556
I buried my dad.

1616
01:25:43,639 --> 01:25:44,640
Oh!

