1
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,686
How long has it been?

2
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:03,647
April 13, 2009.

3
00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:06,150
No way.
You sure?

4
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,069
Well, I can't be 100% sure

5
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:10,654
since I don't know
what you're talking about.

6
00:01:10,863 --> 00:01:12,198
Wanda, has it been that long?

7
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,783
Oh, at least.

8
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,311
We're talking about the last time you
took a shower, right?

9
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,745
No. That was Tuesday.

10
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:19,330
Uh, no, Monday.

11
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,499
No, I was asking
how long it's been

12
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,548
since anything exciting's happened
around here.

13
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,961
Well, that guy came through town a
couple of months ago

14
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:27,421
wearing a tuxedo,

15
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,590
on his way to a wedding
or a funeral or something.

16
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:30,713
It was probably a wedding.

17
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,593
I mean, you don't wear a top hat to a
funeral.

18
00:01:32,802 --> 00:01:33,427
I don't know.

19
00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:34,997
I mean,
if you didn't like the guy,

20
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:36,430
you might pull out
all the stops.

21
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,849
Nothing exciting
ever happens around here.

22
00:01:39,058 --> 00:01:40,659
Open the till
and put the money in a bag!

23
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,686
- Money! Now!
- O-Okay, okay.

24
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:43,729
Did you bring your own bag?

25
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:44,939
Otherwise, I got to
charge you a nickel.

26
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:47,066
Well, how would it be
if I blow your head off

27
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,754
and charge you 50 cents
for the shell?

28
00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,458
Well, that's not
a fair comparison at all.

29
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:52,488
Whoa!

30
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,449
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

31
00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:58,661
- Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
- Aah!

32
00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:01,372
Where did you learn
how to do that?

33
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,290
Oh, I've only seen every Jean-Claude Van
Damme movie

34
00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:04,708
like a hundred thousand times.

35
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,127
I'm more of a Jackie Chan...

36
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:07,169
Aah!

37
00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,879
Brent!

38
00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:11,340
Never bring just one gun
to a robbery.

39
00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,342
Okay.
No more violence.

40
00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:14,844
Aah!

41
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:16,846
Wanda, are you okay?

42
00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:20,850
I knew it!

43
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,687
You... should not...
have done that.

44
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,564
Yeah, fry him, Wanda!

45
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,400
Aaaah!

46
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,402
Brent, Wanda's a...

47
00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:34,405
You're a robot, too?

48
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,740
No, you idiot.
I'm just bionic.

49
00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:39,577
Wolf man!

50
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:42,204
Finally get to see a robot
fight a werewolf.

51
00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:49,753
Baggage... for... Flight...687.

52
00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:53,883
Baggage... for Flight 687.

53
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,927
<i>...will be dispensed
on carousel two.</i>

54
00:02:57,136 --> 00:02:59,597
<i>Baggage for Flight 687
will be dispensed...</i>

55
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:02,057
G "  Laser fur!

56
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,394
Are you Hank Yarbo?

57
00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,938
Oh. Are you...

58
00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:09,106
newspaper lady?

59
00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:11,692
Tina Fuller.
The National Star.

60
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,694
Oh, hey.

61
00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,529
- Hank Yarbo.
- Yes.

62
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:18,449
- We established that.
- Oh, yeah, right.

63
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:19,366
Shall we?

64
00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:21,410
Oh, yeah.

65
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:33,756
You can tell me
that your dog ran away

66
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:37,301
Then tell me
that it took three days

67
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,053
I've heard every joke

68
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,640
I've heard everything you say

69
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:46,227
You think
there's not a lot goin' on

70
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:50,147
But look closer, baby,
you're so wrong

71
00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:54,818
I roll my eyes back
into my happy place

72
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:58,155
I'm always gonna need
this sense of space

73
00:03:58,364 --> 00:04:01,825
And in the amber wave
under a rolling cloud

74
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:05,955
I can't hear what you say
'cause you're talking so loud

75
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:09,416
How many times
you gonna get me wrong?

76
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:11,835
Yeah, yeah, yeah

77
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,921
You think
there's not a lot goin' on

78
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,674
Well, this must be
pretty exciting for you, huh?

79
00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,342
Traveling around the country,

80
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,845
judging the "Quaintest Town
in Canada" contest.

81
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:23,639
It's my lifelong dream.

82
00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,724
Yeah? Oh.

83
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:29,186
Well, none of them can be
as quaint as Dog River.

84
00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:31,272
I've been here my whole life.

85
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,120
It's awesome.

86
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:37,069
With the rain,
you could get lightning on you

87
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:39,321
Strikes twice

88
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,531
You better believe it

89
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:42,992
Under a sky that's always wrapped around
you

90
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,161
There's not a lot goin' on

91
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:48,580
You think
there's not a lot goin' on

92
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,833
That's not
a very welcoming sight.

93
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,134
Oh, my God, no!

94
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,177
Oh, my God!
Shouldn't we help him?

95
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:03,137
Get him!

96
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:06,695
Hey, you better
get out of my face!

97
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,809
Do you have any idea
who you're dealing with?

98
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,689
Ow!

99
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,067
Oh, that's new.

100
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:25,075
But, you know  sometimes
accidents happen.

101
00:05:25,284 --> 00:05:27,036
This is insane!

102
00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:29,163
I don't know what you people consider
quaint, but this is...

103
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,165
- Aaah!
- Whoa!

104
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,292
Crap.

105
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,629
- Who was that?
- That was Brent Leroy.

106
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,090
He used to be my best friend.

107
00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:42,426
What the hell is going on here?

108
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:45,679
Oh. Well, it wasn't
always like this.

109
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,933
It all started not so long ago.

110
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,901
Are you gonna
tell me the story or...

111
00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:00,861
Oh, yeah, sure.
Yeah.

112
00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:03,781
It all started not so long ago.

113
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,165
- Why does it keep doing that?
- I don't know.

114
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,751
It's not the bulbs because,
electrically...

115
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:16,752
I don't know.

116
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,801
Does anyone know
why the power keeps going out?

117
00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,297
- It's complicated.
- You don't know.

118
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:21,131
I don't know.

119
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,259
Or do I?

120
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:27,096
Hey. Have you guys seen this article in
the National Star?

121
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,764
"Canada's Quaintest Community."

122
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,692
Don't you think
Dog River should be in this?

123
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,810
Yeah, maybe.
You should enter us.

124
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:35,299
Well, obviously, I can't enter us the
way the town is now.

125
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,940
The grass hasn't been mowed. Garbage is
piling up.

126
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,942
So don't enter us.
Problem solved.

127
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,777
No, but it comes
with a $75,000 prize.

128
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,987
And think about
the tourist benefits.

129
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,698
You guys,
this town is falling apart,

130
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,367
and nobody's
doing anything about it.

131
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,786
Fitzy's gonna get an earful
at the town meeting today.

132
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:51,954
Town meeting?

133
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,831
Honestly, can we go two minutes

134
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:56,083
without some idiot
calling a town meeting?

135
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,131
What is it this time?

136
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,853
Is it the triangle
manhole covers again?

137
00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,282
Because what does that
even solve?

138
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:01,171
Stop complaining.

139
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:02,741
You and I are
local businesspeople.

140
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,634
We need to be there, and you need to pay
attention, Brent.

141
00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:06,677
No comic books.

142
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:11,765
Fine. Then you can't wear
any stylish, contemporary...

143
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:13,684
You're hard to insult.

144
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:19,022
Oscar!

145
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,859
What?! I'm watching
"Survivin' with lvan."

146
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,027
<i>"Survivin' With Ivan."</i>

147
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,405
<i>After you sharpen branch
into razor point,</i>

148
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,366
<i>you can harden it in the fire
to make deadly weapon.</i>

149
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:32,870
Why don't you get your butt off the
couch and go fix something?

150
00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,747
The water and the power
are broke all over town.

151
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,041
And I fixed the car.

152
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,960
It broke again
while I was fixing it.

153
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:41,044
We need a new one.

154
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:44,214
No, what we need
is someone to fix the car

155
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:45,583
who knows what they're doing.

156
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,718
That's a direct insult
to my masculinity.

157
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,595
I know how to fix stuff.

158
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,806
I just learned how to make
a deadly weapon out of a stick.

159
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:56,059
If that idiot already has
a 10-inch bowie knife,

160
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,353
why does he need a pointy stick?

161
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,774
Okay, 3, 2, fire!

162
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,985
You were too low.

163
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,196
- You didn't allow for droppage.
- Droppage?

164
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,573
Droppage.
Gravity, whatever.

165
00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,658
Yeah, I think gravity's
the one that caught on.

166
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:13,911
Anyway, shouldn't we
be out on patrol?

167
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,413
Nope. Fitzy says
we're using too much fuel.

168
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:19,500
I think it's to save the ozone.
Or is it polar bears?

169
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,043
He)', guys.

170
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,712
Fitzy, how can we do our job
if we can't patrol the town'?

171
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:25,255
Watch out the window.

172
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,007
Listen, I just popped in

173
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,051
to say a quick congratulations to Davis.

174
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:32,387
25 years of service
with the D.R.P.D.

175
00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:36,058
I wanted to get you a cake
and champagne but... didn't.

176
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,101
Anyway, enjoy your retirement.

177
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,436
- Thanks.
- Whoa!

178
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:41,480
- Davis is retiring?
- Who's retiring?

179
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,107
Yeah. When you signed
your last contract,

180
00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:46,860
you ticked the box
for a 25-year term,

181
00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:49,988
with the town having the option to renew
it at the time.

182
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,533
Which is now.
Which is no.

183
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,493
So you're gonna
just kick him to the curb

184
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,537
after like a zillion years
of hard work?

185
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,497
Not a zillion, 25.

186
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,249
And I don't want to retire.

187
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,084
I'd love to keep you on,
but times are really tough.

188
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,794
Anyways,
I've got to be somewhere.

189
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:14,012
Man, I cannot wait
for this thing to be over.

190
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,847
Not me.
I love town meetings.

191
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,599
Full of opportunities.

192
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:20,561
People debate.
Decisions get made.

193
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,897
New rules get... made.

194
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:27,317
A sharp guy can see the angles and make
a few bucks.

195
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,403
<i>Yeah, sharp guy'?
Why don't you pay your tab'?</i>

196
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,613
Okay. Let's just all pipe down, all
right?

197
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:32,698
Don't draw attention.

198
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,074
No questions, no comments.

199
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:35,576
Everybody just zip up
and lay low

200
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,327
so this thing can wrap up ASAP.

201
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:39,913
"ASAP"?
What are you, from the '80s?

202
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:42,082
My formative years, yes.

203
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,668
Is it hot in here?

204
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,253
I'm always too hot.

205
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,214
Except when I'm too cold.
Sometimes I'm both.

206
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,591
Plus pukey.

207
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,259
Must be tough on your husband.

208
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:56,513
Window open, window closed.
Pukey, not pukey.

209
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:58,307
He's stationed on the coast
of the Mediterranean.

210
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:01,810
I'm pregnant in Dog River,
so it's tough on one of us.

211
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,771
My seventh grandchild.

212
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:06,023
Good for you.

213
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,816
Isn't he adorable?

214
00:10:08,025 --> 00:10:10,652
They grow up so fast.

215
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,989
Some more than others.

216
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,617
Don't worry. You'll be
a grandparent one day, too.

217
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:19,369
Brent will find someone
sooner or later.

218
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:21,830
I mean, if his father could...

219
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,793
Ah.

220
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:28,337
Whoo.

221
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,679
Hey, where's Fitzy?

222
00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:40,474
He calls a town meeting
and then he doesn't show?

223
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,100
Yep, we may as well
wrap this up.

224
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,685
Good work, everybody.

225
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:46,563
Fitzy didn't call the meeting.
I did.

226
00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:48,774
You did?
Oh. Well... good.

227
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,734
It's about time somebody
called one of these things.

228
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,444
I called this meeting today

229
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,863
because I think
I speak for everyone

230
00:10:55,072 --> 00:10:57,199
when I say there are
some major concerns

231
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,701
with how this town
is just falling apart.

232
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,953
That's for sure.
Absolutely.

233
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,872
The power, the water.

234
00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,999
Garbage is just piling up.

235
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:09,169
You know, and Dog River
could be really quaint.

236
00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:12,964
I mean, maybe even one
of the quaintest towns in Canada

237
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,550
if we really pulled it together.

238
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:16,843
What do you think?

239
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:22,641
Oh.
Anyway, I have this idea.

240
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,810
Lacey's right.
Where's Fitzy?

241
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,895
Yeah!
Where's Fitzy?!

242
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:33,151
There he is.
Hey! Fitzy!

243
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,407
Let me get this straight.

244
00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:41,451
You invested the town's money
in real estate...

245
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,036
in Detroit?

246
00:11:43,245 --> 00:11:44,830
It was really cheap.

247
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,873
I didn't think
it could get any cheaper.

248
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:48,291
It can, by the way.

249
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,793
How much did we lose?

250
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,713
Somewhere in the neighborhood of... all
of it.

251
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,715
- What?
- Everything?!

252
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,217
That explains the water
and the power, then.

253
00:11:57,426 --> 00:12:00,721
I've been using the contingency fund to
keep the power on.

254
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,264
But that's all gone.

255
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,307
And the water pump
is on its last legs.

256
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,309
So how much debt
are we talking about?

257
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,770
Ballpark?
A hell of a lot.

258
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:12,315
It shouldn't be that much
for a stupid ballpark!

259
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:15,485
Oh, sit down
and play with your stick.

260
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,487
This is insane. We didn't even have the
money to begin with.

261
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,201
Whoa, whoa! Wait, wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

262
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,287
So what happens now?

263
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,998
Well, we really only have
two choices here.

264
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,167
One, we unincorporate the town,

265
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,544
and Dog River
basically disappears.

266
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:33,962
<i>Or...</i>

267
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,134
three dusty boots in a row,
and we're back in business.

268
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:41,803
I got a couple of dusty boots for ya!

269
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,973
Aah.

270
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,643
And you wonder
why I don't like town meetings.

271
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,772
This isn't good.

272
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,420
That's what you get for ordering clam
chowder in the prairies.

273
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:57,444
Not the soup.
The situation.

274
00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:01,072
If we have to leave, it'll be far away
from our only son

275
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,284
and his future wife
and our beautiful grandchildren.

276
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:07,662
What grandchildren?
We're not going anywhere.

277
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:10,499
We're staying here
and living off the land,

278
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:11,875
like our ancestors.

279
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,836
Your grandfather died
in a go-kart accident.

280
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,090
Oh, Brent, talk some sense
into your father.

281
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,259
I don't think
there's enough words.

282
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,595
We might have to move
and sell the house

283
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,222
while there's still value in it.

284
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:27,349
He wants to stay, do nothing.

285
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,852
Not do nothing.
Fish with a spear.

286
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:32,646
Well, for what it's worth...

287
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,564
- Aargh!
- What's the matter?

288
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:37,901
It's just a shock to the system whenever
I agree with Dad.

289
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:38,819
Okay, listen, everyone!

290
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,529
I just got off the phone
with Brian Rainville.

291
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:41,863
He's a plumber in the city.

292
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,366
He gave me a quote
to fix the water pump.

293
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,702
Now, it isn't cheap, but if
we all pitched in, then...

294
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:51,540
A few hundred dollars each
to have clean running water

295
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,166
is too much to ask?

296
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,669
Listen, people, this town
is gonna be nonexistent

297
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:56,877
if we don't do something.

298
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:58,797
No, I think
we'll probably be okay.

299
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,882
The key is not to panic
and overreact.

300
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,218
Ah, screw hiring someone.

301
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,428
We have to learn
to fend for ourselves.

302
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:07,013
I'm pretty handy with a wrench.

303
00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:09,599
Unless he tries to use it
as a wrench.

304
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,518
Are you questioning
my abilities?

305
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,520
No, Dad, when it comes
to your abilities,

306
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,105
none of us has any question.

307
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,065
Sure, laugh it up.

308
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:20,110
You won't be so smart when the Four
Norsemen of the Apocalypse

309
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,279
come riding down Main Street.

310
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:23,864
Oh, come on!

311
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,949
We all have to pull together, people!

312
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:30,579
Anybody like to volunteer
to mow public spaces?

313
00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,086
Unbelievable, these people.

314
00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:42,807
Davis, I don't know
if anyone explained to you

315
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,385
what "retired" means, but you get to not
be here anymore.

316
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,096
I just came by to pick up
a few of my things.

317
00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:51,391
Besides, I'm not really retired with no
pension.

318
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,101
Now I've got to find
another job.

319
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,269
Like what?

320
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,646
I don't know.

321
00:14:56,855 --> 00:15:01,318
I thought maybe we could, uh, put our
feet up and kick back,

322
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,736
and you can help me
think this through.

323
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,988
Sorry. I've got a family
to support now.

324
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,323
If Dog River shuts down,

325
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,116
I'm gonna have to get a cop job
somewhere else.

326
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:10,952
And no one is gonna hire me
if my ticket quotas are so low.

327
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:15,540
So no more games, naps,
or matinee movie days.

328
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,043
There it is.

329
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,170
But I brought ice cream.

330
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,506
I can't stand around here
eating ice cream.

331
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,196
Ugh.
What are they feeding you?

332
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:50,408
Man, people are losing their marbles
after that town meeting.

333
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,744
Well, people fear
what they don't understand.

334
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,579
You must be
perpetually terrified.

335
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,123
We entrepreneurs
always say that,

336
00:15:57,332 --> 00:16:01,628
"When a door opens,
it's time to close a window...

337
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,171
of opportunity."

338
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:06,007
I got a ton of ideas
on how to capitalize on this,

339
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:09,344
and with my brains
and your money, we can't miss.

340
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,873
Yeah, but you don't have
my money.

341
00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:12,347
Or much of the other stuff.

342
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:13,640
Wheels are turning.

343
00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:16,726
Like, we could
set up a pipeline,

344
00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:20,146
you know, like for oil, but for water,
from a place with water,

345
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,857
and so then
we would have the water,

346
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:26,194
and we'd be the ones
charging for that water.

347
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,196
And that's just one idea.

348
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:29,280
That's not an idea.

349
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,491
That's just you saying
the word "water" 12 times.

350
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:32,381
Now I got to pee.

351
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:36,024
So, you're telling me you're not gonna
invest in my ideas?

352
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:38,248
You come up with an actual idea, I'm all
over it.

353
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:39,499
Hey, here's an idea.

354
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,459
Why don't you fix the leak
in your truck?

355
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,045
Then you won't have to
keep buying this oil.

356
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,673
Oh, uh... I'll get you.

357
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:50,844
Hey, I hope you don't mind
me taking these boxes.

358
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,013
I'm taking them anyways.
Just hope you don't mind.

359
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,422
- What do you need all these for?
- To pack for my move.

360
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:56,516
Move?

361
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:59,245
Don't tell me you're buying into this
"Dog River is dying" crap.

362
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:00,687
Oh, I didn't
make this decision lightly.

363
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,135
But I got to think about my kid

364
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,107
and scrounging up the deposit for his
tuition.

365
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:06,443
My cousin says I can
stay with her for a while,

366
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:07,485
so that'll help.

367
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,654
She'll even get me a job
at her dry-cleaning shop.

368
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:12,824
Well, look, I'll...
I'll give you a raise.

369
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:16,411
25... no, 30 cents an hour, every hour.

370
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,329
Ooh, that's a generous offer.

371
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,082
Actually, it's pathetic,
but it's heartfelt.

372
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:22,375
Well...

373
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:23,960
Well, you can't have these.

374
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:25,754
They have red licorice
in the city.

375
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,589
Maybe, maybe not.

376
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:31,051
Soup, sandwich, and a coffee?

377
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:32,552
Every day?

378
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,002
Oh, come on, Mike, you're hauling
garbage, not plutonium.

379
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:37,140
Lookit, we all have to do our...

380
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,767
Oh, is that the way
it's gonna be?

381
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,644
Fine!
You suck, Mike!

382
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:43,480
What about you?

383
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:44,688
You want to haul garbage?

384
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:46,232
Oh, no.
Been there, done that.

385
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,818
I'm focusing my energies
on moneymaking ideas,

386
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:52,197
you know, big ideas,
like a... petting zoo.

387
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,574
Huh?
Or a dude ranch.

388
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:58,161
Or maybe a zoo
where you pet dudes.

389
00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:01,581
You know, I... I think that that's more
of a big-city idea.

390
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:06,294
Oh, come on.
No.

391
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:09,964
Eh, I'd like to help you out,

392
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:14,177
but I can't housesit for you, especially
with the power out.

393
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,678
The power is out, isn't it?

394
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:18,431
You're not... coming on to me, are you?

395
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,434
I need to get out of town,
clear my head.

396
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:23,353
And don't worry about
the power being out.

397
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,688
I got a couple gas generators out back.

398
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,941
One of them's
already juicing my garage.

399
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,526
Watch this.

400
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:33,905
Might as well go for a soda,
nobody hurts

401
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,323
This is a garage?

402
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,619
It's like Frank Sinatra's
rumpus room.

403
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,247
It's my man cave.

404
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,208
Did all the work myself.
I even soundproofed it.

405
00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:46,751
Watch this.

406
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,337
Help!
Zombies are eating my brains!

407
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,005
H e-e-e-e-e...

408
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,967
. . e-e-e-e-l p!

409
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:57,011
Impressive and creepy.

410
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:03,143
Oh, wow, I would really like to help you
out, but it's just...

411
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,686
Ah, it's just, uh...

412
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,094
<i>- I'll</i> pay you.
- There you go.

413
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:07,551
You know,
it's like pulling teeth

414
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,107
to get anybody to help out.

415
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,191
The power's out,

416
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,360
and then some lunatic
vandalized the water pump.

417
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:14,445
Stupid wrench!

418
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:19,200
At least
it sort of worked before.

419
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,286
Now it's completely ruined.

420
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,663
Well, maybe things
aren't as bad as they seem.

421
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:26,958
Nope. They're bad.
Real bad.

422
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,627
I mean, sure,
the town will flop around,

423
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,755
gasping for air like a fish on
a flat rock, but eventually...

424
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:35,925
Thanks, Little Miss Sunshine.

425
00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:37,260
Whoa.

426
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,556
What the hell?

427
00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:43,600
This is a... a joke, right?

428
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:46,102
Phil's probably hiding
and laughing somewhere.

429
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:47,270
Right, Phil?
Phil?

430
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,022
We can do without power
and water.

431
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:51,524
But booze?
This just got real.

432
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:54,694
That's it.
That's the last straw.

433
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,363
Lacey!

434
00:19:58,072 --> 00:19:59,199
Lacey, wait.

435
00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:01,868
Hang on!

436
00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,620
I know a place we can drink.

437
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,122
Might as well go for a soda

438
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:08,917
One rye and ginger.
4 bucks.

439
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,919
Here's $5.

440
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:13,004
- Keep the change.
- I intend to.

441
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:18,760
- Hey.
- Hey.

442
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,887
Uh...

443
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:25,350
Look, I know things
seem kind of bad right now,

444
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,976
but everything will work out.

445
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:30,605
- It always does.
- No, it doesn't, Brent.

446
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:33,483
I know you have
this Zen, Buddhist,

447
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:34,776
Winnie the Pooh

448
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:38,821
kind of "look the other way and
Freddy Krueger can't hurt you"

449
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,531
type of philosophy.

450
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:44,285
And it is really very charming.

451
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:48,331
But sometimes charming
isn't enough.

452
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:51,334
You know, no one is lifting
a finger to save this town,

453
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:52,961
and I don't know what to do.

454
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:57,131
And I feel like I just don't have any
other choice

455
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,217
but to start looking...

456
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,261
in other places to open a diner.

457
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:05,223
You mean like other towns?

458
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,351
You mean move?

459
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,812
What choice is there?

460
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:16,067
Lookit, can you, um, just blow out the
candles when you leave?

461
00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,277
What are you doing?

462
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,404
Looks like trespassing.

463
00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:02,989
At ease, Copzilla.

464
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:05,992
I'm just cleaning off the steps of my
bar.

465
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,494
What the hell you talking about, "your
bar"?

466
00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:10,830
Be quiet.
Let him explain.

467
00:22:11,039 --> 00:22:13,708
What the hell are you
talking about, "your bar"?

468
00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,795
This old hotel bar
has been part of Dog River

469
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,839
since long before I was born.

470
00:22:20,048 --> 00:22:22,592
Doesn't seem right
to just let it die now, so...

471
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:23,718
I bought it.

472
00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,386
But you usually...

473
00:22:25,595 --> 00:22:27,513
I usually sit these things out.
I know.

474
00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:29,474
Mainly because
I've spent my entire life

475
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:32,435
watching you people
turn molehills into mountains,

476
00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:33,811
and I was hoping

477
00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:35,938
that this was just another one of those
things.

478
00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:38,149
But it's not.

479
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,859
And sometimes in this life,

480
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:42,111
you have to pull yourself
up off your can

481
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,905
and do what needs to be done.

482
00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:47,992
Especially once you realize what's
really important.

483
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:53,623
Well, Brent,
I think we're all deeply touched

484
00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:56,667
by how important
booze is to you.

485
00:22:57,502 --> 00:22:59,629
No! The... The bar
is a metaphor...

486
00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:00,755
You're missing the...

487
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:04,884
Look, I bought the bar
because I love this stupid town.

488
00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:06,469
And I love the life
we have here,

489
00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:08,888
and I, for one,
think it's worth fighting for.

490
00:23:09,097 --> 00:23:11,307
Attaboy, Brent!

491
00:23:11,516 --> 00:23:13,101
Yeah.

492
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:15,561
Yeah.

493
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:19,357
And that's why I also entered us

494
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:22,026
into the "Quaintest Town
in Canada" contest.

495
00:23:24,654 --> 00:23:25,613
What the hell is that?

496
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:29,242
It's a contest to find
the quaintest town in...

497
00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:31,285
It's pretty self-explanatory.

498
00:23:31,494 --> 00:23:33,913
Plus, it has
a $75,000 cash award.

499
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,040
We need that money
to pay off our debt

500
00:23:36,249 --> 00:23:38,292
and to fix the water pump.

501
00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:42,463
Lacey, we could really use your help to
"quainterize" the town,

502
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:44,090
if that's a word.

503
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,967
And if you're still willing
to help us.

504
00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:47,218
No.

505
00:23:48,010 --> 00:23:48,803
No?

506
00:23:49,512 --> 00:23:51,556
"Quainterize" isn't a word.

507
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,683
But, yes, I still want
to save this town.

508
00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:55,810
- Come up here.
- Okay.

509
00:23:57,019 --> 00:24:00,148
Okay, everybody, we only have two weeks
to pull this off,

510
00:24:00,356 --> 00:24:02,157
so I'm gonna need a lot
of people to volunteer

511
00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:04,819
to form
a Quaintification Committee.

512
00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:06,612
Oh, like that's a word.

513
00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:09,824
Oh, wait a minute.

514
00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:11,826
Yesterday, you were
all doom and gloom,

515
00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:13,911
and now you're joining
some committee?

516
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,329
Well, look at him.

517
00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:19,000
Brent is taking responsibility for the
first time in his life.

518
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:20,751
We have to support him.

519
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,171
- We?
- Yes, we.

520
00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:27,550
But today
we get to smile about it

521
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:31,971
Wow.

522
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:34,223
There is serious money
to be made

523
00:24:34,432 --> 00:24:35,952
in this "town going to hell" business.

524
00:24:36,142 --> 00:24:37,560
Waste of time.

525
00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:39,812
Our chances are slim.

526
00:24:40,021 --> 00:24:43,941
Well, slim's better than none, thanks to
this man right here.

527
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:45,902
Why?
What did Slim do?

528
00:24:46,110 --> 00:24:47,390
He stepped up
and bought the bar.

529
00:24:47,445 --> 00:24:50,114
What the f...
Whoa.

530
00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:53,159
That's a little bit hasty,
don't you think?

531
00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:55,244
What do you care? I thought
you were planning on leaving.

532
00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:56,954
What kind of person would I be

533
00:24:57,163 --> 00:25:00,500
if I just up and abandoned
this town when it is ripe...

534
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,126
rife with troubles.

535
00:25:02,335 --> 00:25:03,794
You're sticking around?

536
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:05,588
Oh, Wanda, this is awesome.

537
00:25:05,796 --> 00:25:07,715
This place wouldn't be the same without
you.

538
00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:08,591
<i>PM.</i>

539
00:25:08,799 --> 00:25:10,218
Hey, could you clean
the coolers?

540
00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:11,385
- What?
- I'm gonna need you

541
00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:14,180
to run things around here
if I'm gonna fix up the bar.

542
00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:18,821
Now, we're gonna need
a lot of materials...

543
00:25:18,976 --> 00:25:21,604
paint, brushes, garden supplies.

544
00:25:21,812 --> 00:25:23,773
Whatever we can't find
we'll have to buy.

545
00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,275
Bah! First the politicians
rob us blind

546
00:25:26,484 --> 00:25:27,693
with their Fonzie schemes,

547
00:25:27,902 --> 00:25:29,987
then you come up with
some harebrained idea

548
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:31,836
that has us throwing good money after
bad!

549
00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:34,325
Oscar, what bad money?
No one's put any money in.

550
00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:38,663
Oscar, if you're not gonna help, go away
and sharpen a stick.

551
00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,498
Oh, I'll do more
than sharpen a stick.

552
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:44,293
I've got survival preppin'
to do!

553
00:25:44,502 --> 00:25:48,089
Oh, dear. Emma, are you gonna
be okay without Oscar here?

554
00:25:50,633 --> 00:25:54,512
I'm sorry!
I-I couldn't resist.

555
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,890
- That's a good one.
- Okay, let's get quaintin'.

556
00:25:58,849 --> 00:26:00,768
Sunny days

557
00:26:00,977 --> 00:26:06,065
Oh, sunny, sunny, sunny days

558
00:26:07,024 --> 00:26:10,486
Ain't nothing better
in the world, you know

559
00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:14,907
Than lyin' in the sun
with your radio

560
00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:17,660
Da da-da da-da da da da

561
00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:20,830
Yes, yes, I know we owe
the power company money,

562
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:23,207
and we have a detailed plan
to pay you back.

563
00:26:23,416 --> 00:26:26,168
But our plan requires us
to have the power on first.

564
00:26:26,377 --> 00:26:28,879
Yep, that's what we in the business call
"a real pickle."

565
00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,172
Uh-huh. Okay.

566
00:26:30,381 --> 00:26:32,091
Well, I'm just wondering
if we can apply

567
00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:33,260
for a stay from our debt

568
00:26:33,342 --> 00:26:35,143
just long enough for us
to implement our plan?

569
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:36,679
Can't apply for a stay over the
phone.

570
00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:38,431
Application
has to be in writing.

571
00:26:38,639 --> 00:26:42,393
Then there's the review process
and... blah, blah, blah.

572
00:26:42,602 --> 00:26:45,938
Whoa! Did you actually
just say, "Blah, blah, blah"?

573
00:26:46,147 --> 00:26:47,523
Not very professional.

574
00:26:47,732 --> 00:26:49,483
And not paying
your power bill is?

575
00:26:49,692 --> 00:26:51,360
Thanks for calling.

576
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:11,505
You know, for a guy on vacation, you
don't look very happy.

577
00:27:11,714 --> 00:27:14,467
Work getting you down?

578
00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:16,844
I don't want you to take this the wrong
way, but...

579
00:27:17,053 --> 00:27:19,180
- shut your face.
- Well.

580
00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:22,683
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to say that.

581
00:27:22,892 --> 00:27:25,686
I'm just going through stuff.

582
00:27:25,895 --> 00:27:27,229
So I just came out here

583
00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:31,192
to catch the biggest fish
in Lake Kalawonka.

584
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,069
That's Katatonka.

585
00:27:33,277 --> 00:27:34,320
Whatever.

586
00:27:35,363 --> 00:27:37,239
Katatonka
was a legendary warrior

587
00:27:37,448 --> 00:27:40,034
who died on the shores
of this lake in 1817.

588
00:27:40,242 --> 00:27:42,912
No one knows how he died
'cause no one was with him,

589
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:44,872
and there was no wounds
on his body.

590
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:53,422
Some say the spirit bear came
and devoured his soul.

591
00:27:53,631 --> 00:27:56,133
Others say a great eagle
swooped down,

592
00:27:56,342 --> 00:27:58,260
and with his mighty talons,
he...

593
00:27:58,469 --> 00:28:00,012
He probably had a heart attack.

594
00:28:04,183 --> 00:28:06,352
Geez, you might be
onto something there.

595
00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:10,773
Legend also has it
that he ate a lot of red meat.

596
00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:13,734
Huh.
We never thought of that.

597
00:28:13,943 --> 00:28:16,028
Say, you're pretty good
at solving mysteries.

598
00:28:17,655 --> 00:28:19,448
What is it you say you did
back home?

599
00:28:19,657 --> 00:28:21,659
It's not what I did.

600
00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:24,036
It's what I'm gonna do.

601
00:28:25,746 --> 00:28:27,498
Whoa, whoa!

602
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:32,211
Can you... take me back
in to shore, please?

603
00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:33,671
Uh... gladly.

604
00:28:35,506 --> 00:28:38,759
I hereby declare the bar officially
reopened.

605
00:28:55,818 --> 00:28:58,654
The candles are a nice touch.
Classy.

606
00:28:58,863 --> 00:28:59,822
Well, the power's out.

607
00:29:00,030 --> 00:29:01,615
Classy and practical.

608
00:29:01,824 --> 00:29:04,452
I got some big news, too,
but I'll tell you later.

609
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:06,287
Don't want to steal
your thunder.

610
00:29:08,748 --> 00:29:11,500
Hey, Mr. Big Shot Bar Owner,
the place looks great.

611
00:29:11,709 --> 00:29:13,294
Thanks.
It was a lot of work.

612
00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:15,713
Mostly cleaning up mouse poop.

613
00:29:15,921 --> 00:29:17,840
An alarming amount of it, actually.

614
00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:19,928
You know, I never really mentioned this
earlier,

615
00:29:20,009 --> 00:29:21,802
but I think it is really amazing

616
00:29:22,011 --> 00:29:23,679
how you manned up
and bought this place.

617
00:29:23,888 --> 00:29:24,680
Well, thank you,

618
00:29:24,889 --> 00:29:27,329
even though I do find the term "manned
up" to be a tad sexist.

619
00:29:27,516 --> 00:29:28,809
Deal with it, dollface.

620
00:29:30,352 --> 00:29:31,520
It's so obvious.

621
00:29:31,729 --> 00:29:33,814
Of course it is.
What is?

622
00:29:34,023 --> 00:29:36,025
Brent and Lacey.
They should be a couple.

623
00:29:36,233 --> 00:29:38,068
If Brent wasn't so thick,

624
00:29:38,277 --> 00:29:41,113
he'd see that Lacey
wants to meet someone,

625
00:29:41,322 --> 00:29:43,574
get married, have grandchildren.

626
00:29:43,783 --> 00:29:45,951
I mean children.

627
00:29:46,660 --> 00:29:48,060
You really seem
to be enjoying this.

628
00:29:48,245 --> 00:29:50,539
Yeah, I am.
Owning a bar is kind of fun.

629
00:29:50,748 --> 00:29:52,374
It's just like Ted Danson
always led me to believe.

630
00:29:53,751 --> 00:29:55,871
I kind of thought there'd be more people
here tonight.

631
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,379
Let's play truth or dare now

632
00:29:57,588 --> 00:29:59,965
We can roll around
in our underwear

633
00:30:00,174 --> 00:30:01,383
Hey, I like your T-shirt.

634
00:30:01,592 --> 00:30:02,551
Oh, thanks.

635
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,221
I have my own iron-on kit
at home,

636
00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:07,056
so I can make all kinds
of custom shirts.

637
00:30:07,264 --> 00:30:10,017
You know, whatever you guys want... for a
price.

638
00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:11,310
He was just saying
it's a cool shirt.

639
00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:13,813
Yeah, well, my eyes are up here, you
pervo.

640
00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:15,356
The game on?

641
00:30:15,564 --> 00:30:17,566
Sorry I'm late, boys.

642
00:30:17,775 --> 00:30:19,235
Hey, nice T-shirt.

643
00:30:19,443 --> 00:30:22,571
Oh! Oh, you boys!

644
00:30:22,780 --> 00:30:24,240
Everyone, drink up!

645
00:30:24,448 --> 00:30:25,533
The night is young!

646
00:30:27,284 --> 00:30:29,537
Let's be friends forever

647
00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:32,748
Hey! Hey, hey!
What... What are you doing here?

648
00:30:32,957 --> 00:30:34,397
I thought you were
on a fishing trip.

649
00:30:34,458 --> 00:30:36,168
I came back early.
What's going on'?

650
00:30:36,377 --> 00:30:38,712
It's a surprise
welcome-home party!

651
00:30:38,921 --> 00:30:41,173
- Really?
- Surprise!

652
00:30:41,382 --> 00:30:43,092
Welcome home!

653
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:45,511
Oh, you guys.

654
00:30:46,971 --> 00:30:48,764
But I cut my trip short.
How did you...

655
00:30:48,973 --> 00:30:50,054
So, did you catch any fish?

656
00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:53,018
Better yet,
I caught an epiphany.

657
00:30:53,227 --> 00:30:54,645
Is that some kind of trout?

658
00:30:54,854 --> 00:30:56,105
No, it's my new job!

659
00:30:56,313 --> 00:30:57,982
See, I take the skills I learned as a
cop,

660
00:30:58,190 --> 00:31:00,568
and I become
a private detective.

661
00:31:00,776 --> 00:31:02,528
Good for you.

662
00:31:02,736 --> 00:31:04,947
Yeah, I'm gonna sell the house, and I'm
gonna move to the city.

663
00:31:05,155 --> 00:31:07,575
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You don't want to do that.

664
00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:10,911
There's plenty of detectiving
to do right here.

665
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:13,330
In Dog River?
There's no secrets here.

666
00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:14,999
Everyone knows
everyone's business.

667
00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:16,792
There's a million mysteries.

668
00:31:18,043 --> 00:31:19,461
Like, where's Phil?

669
00:31:19,670 --> 00:31:21,171
You need to find him.

670
00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:22,339
My first case.

671
00:31:22,548 --> 00:31:25,509
Go now
before the trail gets cold!

672
00:31:25,718 --> 00:31:27,636
All right!

673
00:31:29,346 --> 00:31:31,640
Okay.
So the cleanup is finished.

674
00:31:31,849 --> 00:31:34,143
And now we are going to move on to the
decorating stage.

675
00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:35,551
Emma's out buying some plants,

676
00:31:35,728 --> 00:31:37,648
and as you can see,
I've made some sketches here.

677
00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:38,355
I think that we should...

678
00:31:38,564 --> 00:31:42,151
Maybe we could put up some of those
funny plywood silhouettes.

679
00:31:42,359 --> 00:31:44,653
Oh, like the ones
that look like someone's bum

680
00:31:44,862 --> 00:31:45,943
bending over in the garden.

681
00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:48,032
What is with you people
and plywood?

682
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,784
Bums, cowboys, butterflies?

683
00:31:50,993 --> 00:31:53,996
No. I'm sorry.
No plywood.

684
00:31:54,204 --> 00:31:55,789
I think they're cute.

685
00:31:55,998 --> 00:31:57,374
Well, you're mistaken.

686
00:31:57,583 --> 00:32:00,252
Lookit. All of the design sketches are
here.

687
00:32:00,461 --> 00:32:01,837
The flowchart is here.

688
00:32:02,046 --> 00:32:04,006
We have a very short window
to pull this off,

689
00:32:04,214 --> 00:32:05,054
and I hate to say it,

690
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:07,593
but it just has to be my way
or the highway.

691
00:32:07,801 --> 00:32:10,262
That doesn't sound like
you hate saying it.

692
00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:15,976
Hey, you want to doodle,
do it in a notebook.

693
00:32:16,185 --> 00:32:17,645
Napkins cost money.

694
00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:19,188
Lacey, Lacey, Lacey.

695
00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:20,898
Always worrying about
the pennies.

696
00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:22,983
And that is why I have
more pennies than you.

697
00:32:24,068 --> 00:32:25,611
Yeah, well, not for long.

698
00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:28,572
I'm in the meeting phase
of my get-rich idea.

699
00:32:28,781 --> 00:32:30,741
It's gonna pull this town
out of the dumps.

700
00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:33,160
I happen to have set up
a little meeting

701
00:32:33,369 --> 00:32:35,120
with a rep from Goff-Nuts.

702
00:32:35,329 --> 00:32:37,206
<i>Goff-Nuts'? No.</i>

703
00:32:37,414 --> 00:32:38,582
The Goff-Nuts?

704
00:32:38,791 --> 00:32:40,042
We got coffee

705
00:32:40,250 --> 00:32:42,252
We got doughnuts,
sugar and caffeine

706
00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:43,379
Let's all go nuts!

707
00:32:43,587 --> 00:32:45,255
Yeah, I'm gonna
open a franchise.

708
00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:46,632
Hank, are you insane?

709
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,051
In case you hadn't noticed,
I sell coffee and doughnuts.

710
00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:51,470
You sell more sandwiches
and soups.

711
00:32:51,679 --> 00:32:54,682
We got soup, sandwiches
for your whole group

712
00:32:54,890 --> 00:32:56,058
Mind you, so do they.

713
00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:58,227
Oh, well.
Competition's healthy.

714
00:32:58,435 --> 00:32:59,812
I saw that on "BizWeek."

715
00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:00,938
You'll do well.

716
00:33:01,146 --> 00:33:02,773
- Me and Brent'll do well.
- Brent?

717
00:33:02,982 --> 00:33:05,025
Brent's just
the silent investor.

718
00:33:05,234 --> 00:33:06,902
Oh, he is, is he?

719
00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:17,287
Hey!

720
00:33:17,496 --> 00:33:19,498
Brent! Listen,
Hank just told me all about

721
00:33:19,707 --> 00:33:21,333
you two opening a Goff-Nuts.

722
00:33:21,542 --> 00:33:22,960
How could you, Brent?

723
00:33:23,919 --> 00:33:26,046
You think this is funny?

724
00:33:26,255 --> 00:33:28,298
Well, I think it's funny
that after all the years

725
00:33:28,507 --> 00:33:29,717
of knowing Hank,
you'd still get upset

726
00:33:29,925 --> 00:33:31,260
about something that tumbled
out of his head.

727
00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:32,886
<i>Oh.</i>

728
00:33:33,095 --> 00:33:34,430
Oh, God.
So he's not...

729
00:33:34,638 --> 00:33:35,431
Rational? No.

730
00:33:35,639 --> 00:33:37,599
I think I may have
said something like,

731
00:33:37,808 --> 00:33:39,393
"if you have a good idea,
I'll get behind it."

732
00:33:39,601 --> 00:33:41,228
But, Brent, he said
that a rep from the company

733
00:33:41,437 --> 00:33:42,277
is coming here today.

734
00:33:42,438 --> 00:33:44,732
He also says he's building
a rocket in his garage.

735
00:33:44,940 --> 00:33:46,108
Right.

736
00:33:46,316 --> 00:33:49,278
Relax. I will never, ever,
ever invest in a Goff-Nuts.

737
00:33:49,486 --> 00:33:51,947
And to show your gratitude,
you can finish up for me here.

738
00:33:52,156 --> 00:33:54,366
I got a ton of stuff
I got to do at the bar.

739
00:33:54,575 --> 00:33:56,285
Can you check the oil?

740
00:33:56,493 --> 00:33:57,911
Huh?

741
00:33:59,496 --> 00:34:01,707
No.
Can you?

742
00:34:03,167 --> 00:34:04,043
I'm glad you called, Hank.

743
00:34:04,251 --> 00:34:05,812
I can see a lot
of community pride here.

744
00:34:05,961 --> 00:34:07,129
It's a cute little town.

745
00:34:07,337 --> 00:34:08,672
Oh, thanks.

746
00:34:08,881 --> 00:34:10,202
Uh, we were shooting
for "quaint,"

747
00:34:10,382 --> 00:34:12,134
so I guess we're
not quite there yet.

748
00:34:12,342 --> 00:34:14,762
Or did we overshoot?
Is cute better than quaint?

749
00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:17,347
All I know is, it's a good fit for the
Goff-Nuts family.

750
00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:19,391
So, really, all we need
to discuss now

751
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,769
is the, uh... the franchise fee.

752
00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:23,312
Franchise fee?

753
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,361
I thought we just opened up
and sold doughnuts.

754
00:34:25,481 --> 00:34:27,082
No, a fee is standard.
Is that a problem?

755
00:34:27,191 --> 00:34:29,318
Oh, no. I got my financial guy all lined
up.

756
00:34:29,526 --> 00:34:31,278
- Cute, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

757
00:34:31,487 --> 00:34:33,197
Maybe I should talk to somebody about
that.

758
00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:35,574
We might be going
in the wrong direction.

759
00:34:37,493 --> 00:34:39,578
Oh, there we go.

760
00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:43,791
Oh! Hello, my pet!

761
00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:45,626
Or should I say one of my pets.

762
00:34:45,834 --> 00:34:47,669
What the hell have you done now?

763
00:34:47,878 --> 00:34:50,506
I had a little chat
with Jeff Collins at the bar.

764
00:34:50,714 --> 00:34:52,299
We swung a deal.

765
00:34:52,508 --> 00:34:54,885
Go back and unswing it.
And get rid of that horse.

766
00:34:55,094 --> 00:34:56,136
Not likely.

767
00:34:56,345 --> 00:34:58,639
That's the deal of the century, maybe
even the decade.

768
00:34:58,847 --> 00:35:02,434
Who trades a healthy horse
for a broken-down car?

769
00:35:02,643 --> 00:35:05,521
- You traded the car?
- Horses don't break down.

770
00:35:05,729 --> 00:35:08,190
They run on grass
and poop out fertilizer...

771
00:35:08,398 --> 00:35:09,399
to make more grass.

772
00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:12,778
It's the circle of life.
It's survival 101.

773
00:35:12,986 --> 00:35:14,780
How am I gonna get around,
buy groceries?

774
00:35:14,988 --> 00:35:16,628
Don't you see
what's hooked up to his ass?

775
00:35:16,657 --> 00:35:18,659
You may as well accept that, Emma.

776
00:35:18,867 --> 00:35:20,387
You can't stand in the way
of progress.

777
00:35:20,536 --> 00:35:25,666
Only you would think that buying a horse
and buggy was progress.

778
00:35:29,503 --> 00:35:31,046
A private investigator?

779
00:35:31,255 --> 00:35:32,422
In Dog River?

780
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:34,216
There are no secrets
in small towns.

781
00:35:34,424 --> 00:35:36,468
There are a million mysteries out there.

782
00:35:36,677 --> 00:35:38,137
There's 500 people in town.

783
00:35:38,345 --> 00:35:40,472
That's 2,000 mysteries
per person.

784
00:35:40,681 --> 00:35:42,474
I'm not a mathematician.

785
00:35:42,683 --> 00:35:46,186
I'm a private eye,
and you, you're jealous.

786
00:35:46,395 --> 00:35:47,312
Jealous?

787
00:35:47,521 --> 00:35:49,565
Yeah. 'Cause I get to
solve crimes, too.

788
00:35:49,773 --> 00:35:51,358
And I'm not bound by any rules,

789
00:35:51,567 --> 00:35:54,194
and I don't have to wear
some dorky uniform.

790
00:35:55,863 --> 00:35:57,322
What do you think?

791
00:35:57,531 --> 00:35:58,448
Too much?

792
00:35:58,657 --> 00:36:00,534
Depends.
Trying to look stupid?

793
00:36:01,702 --> 00:36:04,621
Why rent an office in the basement of
the police station?

794
00:36:04,830 --> 00:36:07,583
'Cause a detective's office
has to be dark and dingy

795
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:08,959
to add credibility.

796
00:36:09,168 --> 00:36:11,670
That's why I can't work at home.
Wanda explained it all to me.

797
00:36:11,879 --> 00:36:12,880
Whatever.

798
00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:15,674
Oh, um, by the way,
you're parked illegally.

799
00:36:15,883 --> 00:36:17,885
There's a ticket
on your windshield.

800
00:36:22,014 --> 00:36:23,724
Oh, you should've
seen this guy.

801
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:26,310
Hey, Brent, can we get another round of
beer here, please?

802
00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:28,437
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'll be right there.

803
00:36:28,645 --> 00:36:31,356
Thank you, sir.
It was. It was crazy.

804
00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:33,233
Hey.

805
00:36:33,442 --> 00:36:36,528
Sorry. I overreacted
to Hank's thing earlier.

806
00:36:36,737 --> 00:36:37,858
I want to make it up to you.

807
00:36:37,863 --> 00:36:39,281
Oh, you don't have to do that.

808
00:36:39,489 --> 00:36:41,730
Oh, unless you want to run
and get me a chili-cheese dog?

809
00:36:41,783 --> 00:36:44,536
Because I've been so busy
around here doing everything,

810
00:36:44,745 --> 00:36:47,331
I haven't had a chance to...
Whoa.

811
00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:49,416
- How did you know?
- Seriously?

812
00:36:53,170 --> 00:36:54,296
Oh, you are awesome.

813
00:36:54,504 --> 00:36:56,548
I've been so busy
trying to fix up this dump,

814
00:36:56,757 --> 00:36:57,957
I haven't had a chance to eat.

815
00:36:58,008 --> 00:36:59,635
There's loose floorboards.

816
00:36:59,843 --> 00:37:02,095
There's torn carpet.
There's busted hinges.

817
00:37:02,304 --> 00:37:04,181
- Did I mention the mouse poop?
- Yeah.

818
00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:06,149
I'm starting to see
why Phil sold this place.

819
00:37:06,350 --> 00:37:07,976
Whatever happened to Phil, anyway?

820
00:37:08,185 --> 00:37:10,020
I'll tell you
what happened to Phil.

821
00:37:13,482 --> 00:37:14,858
Since when do you smoke?

822
00:37:15,067 --> 00:37:17,444
And since when do you think
you can do it in here?

823
00:37:17,653 --> 00:37:18,820
Detectives always have a...

824
00:37:19,029 --> 00:37:21,406
Fine.

825
00:37:23,492 --> 00:37:25,285
I was able to track Phil down.

826
00:37:26,370 --> 00:37:30,165
It wasn't easy, but when you've been at
this as long as I have,

827
00:37:30,374 --> 00:37:32,918
you develop a nose
like a bloodhound.

828
00:37:33,126 --> 00:37:36,088
You pick up things
others would miss.

829
00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:38,840
Gord said you're looking for me.

830
00:37:39,049 --> 00:37:41,635
He figured the town was toast,

831
00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:46,181
so he's pursuing his lifelong dream of
being a lifeguard.

832
00:37:46,390 --> 00:37:47,933
Like on "Baywatch"?

833
00:37:48,141 --> 00:37:49,434
Exactly!

834
00:37:49,643 --> 00:37:52,688
If "Baywatch" took place
at a public pool in Moose Jaw.

835
00:37:52,896 --> 00:37:55,816
Anyway, case solved.

836
00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:58,860
Now there's just
the small matter of my fee.

837
00:37:59,069 --> 00:38:01,071
But we didn't hire you.

838
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:02,823
Did anyone hire you?

839
00:38:03,031 --> 00:38:04,199
Not as such, no.

840
00:38:04,408 --> 00:38:07,286
That would be the "biz" part
of the detective biz.

841
00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:14,209
Oh, it's "food" and "market."

842
00:38:14,418 --> 00:38:15,458
I never picked up on that.

843
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,337
I'm attaching all the letters
so it looks quaint.

844
00:38:17,546 --> 00:38:18,797
I still think "Foo Mart"
is cooler.

845
00:38:19,006 --> 00:38:20,757
Anyway, here's your ticket.

846
00:38:20,966 --> 00:38:22,718
Your, uh, "K" is blocking
the sidewalk.

847
00:38:24,928 --> 00:38:27,889
Pretty horse!
You have a horse.

848
00:38:28,098 --> 00:38:29,266
I love horses.

849
00:38:29,474 --> 00:38:30,474
When I was a little girl,

850
00:38:30,475 --> 00:38:32,853
I always wanted one so I could brush it
and feed it carrots.

851
00:38:33,061 --> 00:38:34,813
Well, Scope's
no little Sally Handbag

852
00:38:35,022 --> 00:38:36,103
you can play dress-up with.

853
00:38:36,273 --> 00:38:39,151
Scope? May as well
call him "Listerine."

854
00:38:39,359 --> 00:38:42,237
You should name him Socks
or Snowflake.

855
00:38:42,446 --> 00:38:45,240
All cool horses
are named after gun parts.

856
00:38:45,449 --> 00:38:48,910
There's... There's Trigger and... others.

857
00:38:49,119 --> 00:38:50,662
Whose farm you keeping him at?

858
00:38:50,871 --> 00:38:52,071
I'm keeping him in our garage.

859
00:38:52,164 --> 00:38:53,332
What are you feeding him?

860
00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:54,916
Table scraps, mostly.

861
00:38:55,125 --> 00:38:56,376
That could make him sick.

862
00:38:56,585 --> 00:38:58,045
But he eats grass, too.

863
00:38:58,253 --> 00:38:59,046
That's like mowing,

864
00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:01,506
which we need to do
for this quaint business.

865
00:39:01,715 --> 00:39:03,508
What you're doing is illegal.

866
00:39:05,135 --> 00:39:06,636
Oh, that's just nature.

867
00:39:07,721 --> 00:39:10,098
You can't give a ticket
to Mother Nature.

868
00:39:10,307 --> 00:39:13,060
You're right.
No ticket.

869
00:39:13,268 --> 00:39:15,604
I'm confiscating him.

870
00:39:15,812 --> 00:39:16,605
What?!

871
00:39:16,813 --> 00:39:18,565
Come on, Socks.
Let's go get you a carrot.

872
00:39:18,774 --> 00:39:21,818
You can't...
You can't take my horse!

873
00:39:22,027 --> 00:39:24,946
I have rights!
He has rights!

874
00:39:25,155 --> 00:39:27,616
If the government
outlaws horses,

875
00:39:27,824 --> 00:39:30,744
only outlaws will have horses!

876
00:39:31,661 --> 00:39:33,288
His name is Scope!

877
00:39:33,497 --> 00:39:34,289
Lacey.

878
00:39:34,498 --> 00:39:35,499
Oh. Hi, Emma.

879
00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,709
I just want to let you know

880
00:39:37,918 --> 00:39:40,712
what a great job you're doing
on the Quainting Committee.

881
00:39:40,921 --> 00:39:42,839
Why don't you come to dinner
on Tuesday night?

882
00:39:43,048 --> 00:39:44,257
Oh, Emma, that would be nice.

883
00:39:44,466 --> 00:39:48,387
Brent will be there.
It'll be a "family" dinner.

884
00:39:48,595 --> 00:39:50,138
Why did you put
little quotation marks

885
00:39:50,347 --> 00:39:54,643
- around the word "family"?
- Because you are "family."

886
00:39:54,851 --> 00:39:56,937
Will 7300 be all right?

887
00:39:57,145 --> 00:39:59,314
Well, 7300 is "fine."

888
00:39:59,523 --> 00:40:00,649
All right.
I'll see you then.

889
00:40:00,857 --> 00:40:02,297
- Thank you, sir.
- Yeah. No problem.

890
00:40:02,484 --> 00:40:04,069
Hey, barkeep.

891
00:40:04,903 --> 00:40:07,072
Your lunch is on the counter.

892
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,909
And, um, dinner will be at 7:00 on
Tuesday.

893
00:40:11,118 --> 00:40:13,453
And wear something nice.

894
00:40:14,287 --> 00:40:15,705
Lunch?

895
00:40:19,084 --> 00:40:21,128
Double-lunch day!

896
00:40:22,879 --> 00:40:24,381
Psst! Pal.

897
00:40:26,258 --> 00:40:27,676
You know that big news
I was gonna tell you about?

898
00:40:27,884 --> 00:40:29,564
You want to bring a Goff-Nuts
to Dog River.

899
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:30,804
I want to bring a...

900
00:40:31,012 --> 00:40:32,764
Oh.
Word's out, huh?

901
00:40:32,973 --> 00:40:34,850
Damn WikiLeaks.

902
00:40:35,058 --> 00:40:37,561
Anyway, I'm gonna need
that cash you promised

903
00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:39,020
for the franchise fee.

904
00:40:39,229 --> 00:40:41,690
Well, first of all,
I never promised you any cash.

905
00:40:41,898 --> 00:40:43,442
Second of all, no.

906
00:40:43,650 --> 00:40:45,902
Thirdly, you're living
in a dream world.

907
00:40:46,111 --> 00:40:47,070
And fourthly, no.

908
00:40:47,279 --> 00:40:49,239
You said you'd invest
if I had an idea.

909
00:40:49,448 --> 00:40:50,699
And now, just like that,

910
00:40:50,907 --> 00:40:52,347
you come up with
four reasons not to?

911
00:40:52,534 --> 00:40:54,536
You've got to tell me
what the idea is first.

912
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:56,163
I'm not going to
invest in something

913
00:40:56,371 --> 00:40:58,081
that's gonna jeopardize
Lacey's business.

914
00:40:58,290 --> 00:41:00,417
It's competition.
It's good.

915
00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:03,044
Doesn't anyone watch "BizWeek"?

916
00:41:03,253 --> 00:41:04,254
I need this money, Brent.

917
00:41:04,463 --> 00:41:06,264
I made plans because
you said I could have it.

918
00:41:06,423 --> 00:41:08,425
Forget it.
It's not gonna happen.

919
00:41:09,468 --> 00:41:12,053
You know what this is?
Betrayal.

920
00:41:12,262 --> 00:41:14,097
A broken vow amongst friends.

921
00:41:14,306 --> 00:41:16,433
- Former friends!
- Here we go.

922
00:41:16,641 --> 00:41:18,268
Ladies and gentlemen,

923
00:41:18,477 --> 00:41:21,813
Brent Leroy and I
are no longer friends.

924
00:41:22,022 --> 00:41:25,192
I will never set foot
in here again!

925
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:29,988
There's nowhere else to drink.

926
00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:32,657
Who ordered the nachos?

927
00:41:32,866 --> 00:41:36,786
Arriba!
Ay yi yi yi yi!

928
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:43,585
She's a real beauty, eh?

929
00:41:43,793 --> 00:41:45,879
Yeah.
Is she with anyone?

930
00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:47,339
She's with me now.

931
00:41:47,547 --> 00:41:50,550
Got her at a garage sale
for 2 bucks.

932
00:41:52,969 --> 00:41:55,347
I believe this is what
you're looking for.

933
00:41:57,474 --> 00:42:00,018
Uh. $19?

934
00:42:00,227 --> 00:42:01,686
And an I.O.U. for the rest.

935
00:42:04,231 --> 00:42:05,398
Is this a joke?

936
00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:09,110
L-I just figured,
we're almost family now,

937
00:42:09,319 --> 00:42:11,530
and family lends money
to family, right?

938
00:42:11,738 --> 00:42:13,698
Sorry.
No fee, no deal.

939
00:42:13,907 --> 00:42:16,409
Oh, come on, I was counting
on this Goff-Nuts franchise

940
00:42:16,618 --> 00:42:17,702
to bring money
back into Dog River.

941
00:42:17,911 --> 00:42:18,671
And it will.

942
00:42:18,745 --> 00:42:20,185
We're so confident
in this community,

943
00:42:20,330 --> 00:42:22,611
we're planning on opening
a franchise with or without you.

944
00:42:22,666 --> 00:42:23,500
What?!

945
00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:26,169
Geez. Have I got "betray me" written
across my forehead?

946
00:42:26,378 --> 00:42:27,671
Sorry.
It's just business.

947
00:42:29,047 --> 00:42:30,590
Hank, he's right.
It's just business.

948
00:42:30,799 --> 00:42:32,509
- Yeah.
- Although I am...

949
00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:35,804
I'm surprised with your confidence in
our little town...

950
00:42:36,012 --> 00:42:37,305
considering we're bankrupt.

951
00:42:37,514 --> 00:42:38,306
Bankrupt?

952
00:42:38,515 --> 00:42:40,934
No power, no water.

953
00:42:41,142 --> 00:42:42,602
I thought
you just blew a breaker.

954
00:42:42,811 --> 00:42:44,396
This place is practically dead.

955
00:42:44,604 --> 00:42:45,605
That changes everything.

956
00:42:45,814 --> 00:42:46,815
Thanks for the info.

957
00:42:47,023 --> 00:42:48,900
I will, uh...
<i>I'll</i> see you later.

958
00:42:55,323 --> 00:42:57,617
Oh, lookit, Hank, I know
you were just trying to help.

959
00:42:57,826 --> 00:42:59,327
Here's a napkin on the house.

960
00:42:59,536 --> 00:43:00,829
Doodle up another idea.

961
00:43:01,037 --> 00:43:03,081
Maybe think a little more
about that dude zoo.

962
00:43:05,834 --> 00:43:08,628
So now you can tell everyone
how you feel about Dog River

963
00:43:08,837 --> 00:43:11,631
with a snazzy new
"Ain't We Quaint?" T-shirt.

964
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,508
This quaintness stuff is stupid.

965
00:43:13,717 --> 00:43:16,136
Well, then, why don't you
tell the world how you feel

966
00:43:16,344 --> 00:43:19,097
with your very own
"Quaint We Ain't" T-shirt?

967
00:43:19,306 --> 00:43:20,807
Now you're talkin'!

968
00:43:21,766 --> 00:43:24,853
I said hang the flowers
5 feet, 7 inches off the ground.

969
00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:26,479
Why'd you hang them so high?

970
00:43:26,688 --> 00:43:28,481
I thought someone
might bump their head.

971
00:43:28,690 --> 00:43:30,775
Well, now no one
can smell the flowers

972
00:43:30,984 --> 00:43:31,860
unless they're Shaquille O'Neal.

973
00:43:32,068 --> 00:43:33,111
Who's Shaneille?

974
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,864
I think she won "American ldol" last
year.

975
00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:38,158
Tall girl.
Oh, she loved flowers.

976
00:43:38,366 --> 00:43:39,566
We've been through this!

977
00:43:39,576 --> 00:43:41,536
We don't have time
for anyone to have ideas.

978
00:43:41,745 --> 00:43:42,954
Just do it my way.

979
00:43:43,163 --> 00:43:45,373
Emma understands.
Right, Emma?

980
00:43:46,583 --> 00:43:47,375
Where's Emma?

981
00:43:47,584 --> 00:43:50,545
I'll get your horse back
in no time.

982
00:43:50,754 --> 00:43:51,713
Money well spent.

983
00:43:51,921 --> 00:43:54,924
Money?
You mean I have to pay you?

984
00:43:57,594 --> 00:43:58,470
Hello, scooter!

985
00:43:58,678 --> 00:44:01,181
Or should I say,
one of my scooters?

986
00:44:01,389 --> 00:44:03,141
Where the hell did you get
that contraption?

987
00:44:03,350 --> 00:44:06,144
Pat Gallagher's
New and Used Cars and Trucks.

988
00:44:06,353 --> 00:44:07,395
You're a fool, Emma.

989
00:44:07,604 --> 00:44:09,731
Falling right in
to Big Oil's trap.

990
00:44:09,939 --> 00:44:11,232
It's electric, you idiot.

991
00:44:11,441 --> 00:44:13,818
Maybe you should
get a scooter, too.

992
00:44:14,027 --> 00:44:16,363
You could call it Scope.

993
00:44:17,614 --> 00:44:19,658
"Electra-Scope."

994
00:44:33,296 --> 00:44:35,465
Hey, Scope.

995
00:44:36,383 --> 00:44:38,426
That's a boy.
Come on.

996
00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:40,595
Come on, my boy.

997
00:44:41,346 --> 00:44:44,391
Good boy.
Okay, jump the fence.

998
00:44:45,350 --> 00:44:46,851
Come on.

999
00:44:47,060 --> 00:44:49,604
Here's another one.
Come on, jump the fence!

1000
00:44:49,813 --> 00:44:51,231
Ah!

1001
00:44:51,439 --> 00:44:53,566
You lazy horse!

1002
00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:57,904
D.R.P.D.

1003
00:44:58,113 --> 00:44:59,434
There's a prowler in my barn.

1004
00:44:59,531 --> 00:45:00,740
I don't know what to do.

1005
00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:02,325
I don't know what to d-o-o-o!

1006
00:45:02,534 --> 00:45:04,911
I'll be right there.
What's your address?

1007
00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:11,626
Come on!

1008
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:23,513
Whoa, Socks, whoa!

1009
00:45:23,722 --> 00:45:24,639
Attaboy.

1010
00:45:42,449 --> 00:45:44,200
Freeze!

1011
00:45:45,368 --> 00:45:47,662
Davis?
What are you doing here?

1012
00:45:47,871 --> 00:45:49,151
Well, I got wind of a B&E.

1013
00:45:49,164 --> 00:45:51,666
- How?
- I keep my ear to the ground.

1014
00:45:51,875 --> 00:45:53,126
More like "ear to the vent."

1015
00:45:54,169 --> 00:45:56,296
Be right there.
What's your address?

1016
00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:58,024
I don't know
what you're talking about.

1017
00:45:58,131 --> 00:45:59,174
You've got grille marks
on your cheek.

1018
00:45:59,382 --> 00:46:02,594
You can't run around interfering in
police business.

1019
00:46:02,802 --> 00:46:05,138
- You're not a cop.
- I used to be.

1020
00:46:05,346 --> 00:46:08,057
And now I'm doing something
way better.

1021
00:46:08,266 --> 00:46:09,976
And people like me.

1022
00:46:10,185 --> 00:46:11,186
You're saying
people don't like me?

1023
00:46:11,394 --> 00:46:14,355
"Ticket Witch" isn't
a very flattering nickname.

1024
00:46:14,564 --> 00:46:16,232
And they don't use
the word "witch."

1025
00:46:18,026 --> 00:46:20,361
I'm just doing my job,
like a real cop,

1026
00:46:20,570 --> 00:46:22,155
which I never was
under your command.

1027
00:46:22,363 --> 00:46:24,741
All we did was nap
and play games.

1028
00:46:28,745 --> 00:46:30,747
Oh!
Why are you in my barn?

1029
00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:32,916
You called the police.

1030
00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:34,542
Um, no.

1031
00:46:34,751 --> 00:46:35,835
Hyah!

1032
00:46:36,044 --> 00:46:37,212
Come on!
There we go!

1033
00:46:37,420 --> 00:46:39,631
Come on!

1034
00:46:39,839 --> 00:46:41,174
Off you go, Scope!

1035
00:46:42,217 --> 00:46:44,219
Oscar, get back here!

1036
00:46:44,427 --> 00:46:46,554
"I don't know what to do!

1037
00:46:46,763 --> 00:46:49,974
I don't know what to do!"

1038
00:46:50,183 --> 00:46:51,518
Well, that's unfortunate.

1039
00:46:51,726 --> 00:46:53,102
- Need a lift?
- Yes.

1040
00:46:53,311 --> 00:46:55,188
Well, good luck with that.

1041
00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,572
You want to buy our house?

1042
00:47:04,781 --> 00:47:06,115
I represent a client who does.

1043
00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:08,243
Even though the town
has a broken water pump,

1044
00:47:08,451 --> 00:47:09,619
no power, no money?

1045
00:47:09,828 --> 00:47:11,079
Yes.

1046
00:47:12,121 --> 00:47:14,624
Your client, is he a drinker?

1047
00:47:14,833 --> 00:47:17,585
Well, so, there's an offer price on the
back of this card.

1048
00:47:17,794 --> 00:47:19,462
- Just think it over and call me.
- Whoa! Whoa!

1049
00:47:19,671 --> 00:47:22,257
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa!

1050
00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:25,051
Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

1051
00:47:25,260 --> 00:47:26,177
Is he all right?

1052
00:47:26,386 --> 00:47:28,263
I wouldn't say so, no.

1053
00:47:29,305 --> 00:47:30,807
Sorry I'm late.

1054
00:47:31,015 --> 00:47:33,726
I was watching
a Noam Chomsky documentary.

1055
00:47:33,935 --> 00:47:35,186
Closed my eyes for one minute.

1056
00:47:35,395 --> 00:47:36,479
Next thing you know,

1057
00:47:36,688 --> 00:47:39,190
David Suzuki's
talking about salamanders.

1058
00:47:40,525 --> 00:47:43,862
So what's the deal
with "Wanda's Booze Box"?

1059
00:47:44,988 --> 00:47:46,114
Who squealed?

1060
00:47:46,322 --> 00:47:48,241
Squealed? What?
It's on your shirt.

1061
00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:50,994
Damn it.

1062
00:47:51,202 --> 00:47:53,538
So sleepy, I forgot to change.

1063
00:47:53,746 --> 00:47:54,747
Ugh.

1064
00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:58,084
Whoa!

1065
00:47:58,293 --> 00:47:59,586
I'm sorry, you guys,

1066
00:47:59,794 --> 00:48:01,554
but I thought I said
the meeting was at 4:00.

1067
00:48:01,588 --> 00:48:02,547
It Was.

1068
00:48:02,755 --> 00:48:04,966
We had an emergency meeting
at 3:00.

1069
00:48:05,174 --> 00:48:07,093
We took a vote, and you're out.

1070
00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:11,806
What?

1071
00:48:12,015 --> 00:48:13,391
You're too bossy.

1072
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:14,809
Because I'm the boss!

1073
00:48:15,018 --> 00:48:17,478
You can't kick me out.
Quaintification is my thing.

1074
00:48:17,687 --> 00:48:19,772
Actually, it's the town's thing.

1075
00:48:19,981 --> 00:48:22,150
It's going to happen
without you.

1076
00:48:22,358 --> 00:48:25,194
Well, that's fine,
if that's the way you feel.

1077
00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:26,988
Good luck
with your plywood bums.

1078
00:48:29,824 --> 00:48:31,242
Lacey.

1079
00:48:31,451 --> 00:48:33,912
I hope you know that had nothing to do
with me.

1080
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:35,288
I fought hard for you.

1081
00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:37,999
I nominate Emma
for committee leader.

1082
00:48:39,292 --> 00:48:41,961
That could not have come
at a worse time.

1083
00:48:43,546 --> 00:48:45,673
We still on for dinner?

1084
00:48:45,882 --> 00:48:47,634
I'm out there
busting my brains out

1085
00:48:47,842 --> 00:48:50,511
trying to manage two businesses, all so
I can save this town,

1086
00:48:50,720 --> 00:48:52,472
and you're pulling drinkers
away from me.

1087
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,682
No.
I'm just pulling a few...

1088
00:48:54,891 --> 00:48:56,267
Okay. Yes, I am.

1089
00:48:56,476 --> 00:48:57,769
But that wasn't my intent.

1090
00:48:57,977 --> 00:48:59,697
I'm just desperate
to make Tanner's tuition.

1091
00:48:59,896 --> 00:49:01,105
I'm sorry.

1092
00:49:01,314 --> 00:49:05,026
Well, all right.
Apology accepted.

1093
00:49:05,234 --> 00:49:07,278
But you've got to promise me
no more Booze Box.

1094
00:49:07,487 --> 00:49:08,655
I promise.

1095
00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:11,824
Welcome, everybody,
to The Silver Dollard Casino.

1096
00:49:13,368 --> 00:49:15,703
You spelled "dollar" wrong.

1097
00:49:15,912 --> 00:49:17,038
It's my last name, dorkus.

1098
00:49:17,246 --> 00:49:19,540
Listen up.
There's no more booze.

1099
00:49:19,749 --> 00:49:21,125
I'm sorry,

1100
00:49:21,334 --> 00:49:22,251
but I made a promise.

1101
00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:25,463
But on the plus side,
coffee and pop is only 5 bucks.

1102
00:49:25,672 --> 00:49:29,133
House rake is 10%.
Let's shuffle up and deal!

1103
00:49:30,343 --> 00:49:33,721
Hi.
You must be the owner here.

1104
00:49:33,930 --> 00:49:35,807
Well, I should be, yes.

1105
00:49:36,015 --> 00:49:38,017
Well, I'm Sasha,
and I was wondering

1106
00:49:38,226 --> 00:49:40,895
if you are interested
in maybe selling your home.

1107
00:49:41,104 --> 00:49:42,939
My company would make it
worth your while.

1108
00:49:43,147 --> 00:49:46,859
Oh. No, I'm kind of attached
to my man... woman cave, so...

1109
00:49:47,068 --> 00:49:49,237
A second ago,
you called it a casino.

1110
00:49:49,445 --> 00:49:51,072
- Did I?
- Mm-hmm.

1111
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:52,960
Well, I'm really not interested in
selling,

1112
00:49:52,991 --> 00:49:55,493
and this is a private party,
so, uh, hit the bricks, toots.

1113
00:49:56,786 --> 00:50:01,416
Gentlemen, start your wagers, and
somebody crank the music!

1114
00:50:22,645 --> 00:50:24,063
Come on.

1115
00:50:24,272 --> 00:50:26,399
There's more
of that good green stuff.

1116
00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:30,028
Just step in the loopy thing.

1117
00:50:32,196 --> 00:50:33,865
This is your lucky day, Bugsy.

1118
00:50:34,073 --> 00:50:37,326
Sounds like I got
bigger fish to fry.

1119
00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:41,414
Jumpin' Judy!
I thought you were a bear.

1120
00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:43,583
A Care Bear, judging by the look of that
bow.

1121
00:50:43,791 --> 00:50:46,085
"Hunger Games."
Starter set.

1122
00:50:46,294 --> 00:50:48,129
I suppose you're wondering
what I'm doing.

1123
00:50:48,337 --> 00:50:50,173
Not really. I'm just gonna assume it's
something brilliant

1124
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:51,174
and move on.

1125
00:50:51,382 --> 00:50:53,217
I just came by to see if I could borrow
some of your tools.

1126
00:50:53,426 --> 00:50:54,866
I need to do some repairs
at the bar.

1127
00:50:55,011 --> 00:50:57,764
Help yourself. I'm good
with my Dutch Army Knife.

1128
00:50:57,972 --> 00:50:59,974
23 tools right here.

1129
00:51:00,183 --> 00:51:01,601
I count 24.

1130
00:51:01,809 --> 00:51:03,728
Do the Dutch even have an army?

1131
00:51:03,936 --> 00:51:04,896
Oh, who cares?

1132
00:51:05,104 --> 00:51:06,272
This baby does the job,

1133
00:51:06,481 --> 00:51:08,608
and it's way cheaper
than that Swiss thing.

1134
00:51:08,816 --> 00:51:09,901
Greedy Swiss.

1135
00:51:10,109 --> 00:51:11,829
Well, as fun as this is,
I got to get going.

1136
00:51:12,028 --> 00:51:12,904
Oh, by the way,

1137
00:51:13,112 --> 00:51:15,823
Karen wanted me to tell you
that she took your horse.

1138
00:51:16,032 --> 00:51:17,158
I don't even know
why you have a horse.

1139
00:51:17,366 --> 00:51:19,406
I'm just gonna lump it in
with all this other magic.

1140
00:51:19,410 --> 00:51:20,661
Took my horse?!
That...

1141
00:51:20,870 --> 00:51:22,121
Ohh!

1142
00:51:25,124 --> 00:51:26,584
Was that so hard?!

1143
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:32,173
Oh, hey, Mom.

1144
00:51:32,381 --> 00:51:34,133
I'm with Dad.
Just hangin'.

1145
00:51:35,384 --> 00:51:36,719
That would be really funny
if you were here,

1146
00:51:36,928 --> 00:51:38,179
because he's act...

1147
00:51:39,222 --> 00:51:41,599
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll be right there.

1148
00:51:41,808 --> 00:51:43,434
Later, Rambo.
Mom says it's urgent.

1149
00:51:43,643 --> 00:51:45,520
Hey, hey!
I could use a little help here!

1150
00:51:45,728 --> 00:51:47,438
Use your Norwegian Navy Knife.

1151
00:51:47,647 --> 00:51:51,275
It's Dutch!
The Norwegians are useless!

1152
00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:54,195
So, you getting any takers?

1153
00:51:54,403 --> 00:51:55,780
Not yet,
but they'll come around.

1154
00:51:55,988 --> 00:51:58,407
First one to panic will sell
and start an avalanche.

1155
00:51:58,616 --> 00:52:00,868
It's a shame, really.
Nice little town.

1156
00:52:01,077 --> 00:52:02,495
Well, yeah, but we're
in the doughnut business,

1157
00:52:02,703 --> 00:52:04,539
not the "save our town" business.

1158
00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:06,165
These people
would have to be total idiots

1159
00:52:06,374 --> 00:52:07,875
not to see this place is doomed.

1160
00:52:08,084 --> 00:52:10,211
It's just too bad there wasn't some
other place to monopolize.

1161
00:52:10,419 --> 00:52:11,546
Coffee-shop lady's cute.

1162
00:52:11,754 --> 00:52:13,506
So offer her a job.

1163
00:52:13,714 --> 00:52:16,759
Let's go see if we can get ahold of the
town plans.

1164
00:52:23,766 --> 00:52:25,393
CN Holdings?

1165
00:52:25,601 --> 00:52:27,442
Why would the rail road
want to buy your house?

1166
00:52:27,603 --> 00:52:29,147
I don't know.

1167
00:52:30,690 --> 00:52:34,569
I don't want to sell, but there may
never be another buyer.

1168
00:52:34,777 --> 00:52:36,904
Can we afford
to miss this chance?

1169
00:52:37,113 --> 00:52:38,194
Just don't do anything yet.

1170
00:52:38,281 --> 00:52:40,825
<i>Are you</i> sure?
I mean, <i>you might have to move.</i>

1171
00:52:41,033 --> 00:52:45,246
Someplace nice
with a special someone.

1172
00:52:45,454 --> 00:52:48,040
Did I mention Lacey's coming
for dinner?

1173
00:52:48,249 --> 00:52:49,529
Just don't sell the house, okay?

1174
00:52:49,709 --> 00:52:51,189
If everything goes wrong,
I'll buy it.

1175
00:52:51,294 --> 00:52:52,628
I'll match their offer.

1176
00:52:53,838 --> 00:52:55,006
Oh.

1177
00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:57,258
Town hall's closed.

1178
00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:58,666
Something I can help you with?

1179
00:52:58,801 --> 00:53:00,261
Yeah, uh, we were hoping
we could get a look

1180
00:53:00,469 --> 00:53:01,512
at the town plans.

1181
00:53:01,721 --> 00:53:04,056
I could get you in there...
for a fee.

1182
00:53:04,265 --> 00:53:06,058
I'm a detective.

1183
00:53:06,976 --> 00:53:08,394
Hey, Jerome!
Come here.

1184
00:53:08,603 --> 00:53:11,898
Oh. Look, uh, if this is
about the franchise fee,

1185
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,150
- I really can't help you.
- No, that's all good.

1186
00:53:14,358 --> 00:53:15,610
I just thought
you might be interested

1187
00:53:15,818 --> 00:53:17,498
in looking at another place
to set up shop.

1188
00:53:17,612 --> 00:53:18,863
I mean, an even better place.

1189
00:53:19,071 --> 00:53:21,407
Oh.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.

1190
00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:27,830
I mean, if there was ever
a place that deserved you guys,

1191
00:53:28,039 --> 00:53:29,081
it's this one.

1192
00:53:29,290 --> 00:53:33,211
Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum

1193
00:53:36,589 --> 00:53:39,258
Our idiot son
left me hanging in a tree.

1194
00:53:39,467 --> 00:53:41,177
And Karen stole my horse.

1195
00:53:41,385 --> 00:53:42,261
Thanks!

1196
00:53:42,470 --> 00:53:45,473
It's nice to hear
some good news.

1197
00:53:45,681 --> 00:53:46,933
Please?

1198
00:53:47,141 --> 00:53:49,060
Lookit, you...
you have to reconsider.

1199
00:53:49,268 --> 00:53:51,520
Without power, our town
doesn't stand a chance.

1200
00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:53,064
Your town's a bad risk.

1201
00:53:53,272 --> 00:53:55,775
You have to pay
outstanding debt first.

1202
00:53:55,983 --> 00:53:57,485
Isn't there something
that you can do?

1203
00:53:57,693 --> 00:54:00,613
We have these nifty 3-D magnets I can
send you.

1204
00:54:00,821 --> 00:54:03,950
Turn them at an angle, little light bulb
goes on and off.

1205
00:54:04,158 --> 00:54:05,785
How would that even...

1206
00:54:06,994 --> 00:54:07,870
Ohh.

1207
00:54:08,079 --> 00:54:10,498
Bunch of red tape
and bureaucratic bullcrap.

1208
00:54:10,706 --> 00:54:13,584
Oh, my God, I'm starting
to sound like Oscar.

1209
00:54:13,793 --> 00:54:14,585
What's this?

1210
00:54:14,794 --> 00:54:17,588
There are other ways
to get power from the grid.

1211
00:54:18,923 --> 00:54:21,634
OtherWaysToGetPowerFromTheGrid.
Com.

1212
00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:22,602
Is that even legal?

1213
00:54:22,718 --> 00:54:25,846
Well, it depends how you
define "legal," but... no.

1214
00:54:26,055 --> 00:54:27,807
By the way, where in town

1215
00:54:28,015 --> 00:54:29,225
are they setting up
the new Goff-Nuts?

1216
00:54:29,433 --> 00:54:31,185
Oh, that's dead.
I killed it.

1217
00:54:31,394 --> 00:54:32,186
- Huh?
- Mm-hmm.

1218
00:54:32,395 --> 00:54:33,756
Well, then how come
that Jerome guy

1219
00:54:33,813 --> 00:54:35,523
wanted to look at
the town plans?

1220
00:54:35,731 --> 00:54:36,774
- He did?
- Mm-hmm.

1221
00:54:36,983 --> 00:54:39,986
And then Hank showed up, and then they
drove off somewhere.

1222
00:54:40,194 --> 00:54:41,362
Where?

1223
00:54:42,196 --> 00:54:44,824
Will you find him for me?
I'll pay you.

1224
00:54:45,032 --> 00:54:46,659
All right.

1225
00:54:46,867 --> 00:54:51,706
And so begins the case of
"Where Did Hank Take That Guy?"

1226
00:54:51,914 --> 00:54:53,541
Great.

1227
00:54:58,546 --> 00:55:00,673
- Can it begin now?
- Mm-hmm.

1228
00:55:01,590 --> 00:55:03,009
NOW!

1229
00:55:03,217 --> 00:55:04,635
Okay, okay.

1230
00:55:04,844 --> 00:55:06,220
- Bossy.
- What?

1231
00:55:06,429 --> 00:55:08,014
I am not.

1232
00:55:08,222 --> 00:55:09,307
<i>ORB'!-</i>

1233
00:55:09,515 --> 00:55:10,433
Wullerton?

1234
00:55:11,767 --> 00:55:13,311
- Are you sure?
- Yep.

1235
00:55:13,519 --> 00:55:15,279
Hank bought some oil,
and then off they went.

1236
00:55:15,813 --> 00:55:18,649
Good to know.
Good to know.

1237
00:55:18,858 --> 00:55:20,651
Hey, Wanda.

1238
00:55:23,195 --> 00:55:24,280
Detective.

1239
00:55:24,488 --> 00:55:25,740
Officer.

1240
00:55:25,948 --> 00:55:28,034
- Can I help you with something?
- Maybe.

1241
00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:31,162
I'm hearing rumors about
illegal gambling in town.

1242
00:55:31,954 --> 00:55:33,581
You two know anything
about that?

1243
00:55:33,789 --> 00:55:34,999
No.

1244
00:55:35,207 --> 00:55:38,627
But I am shocked and disgusted that this
is happening.

1245
00:55:38,836 --> 00:55:42,340
I mean, if it's happening.
I mean, these are rumors, right?

1246
00:55:42,548 --> 00:55:43,424
Yeah, rumors.

1247
00:55:43,632 --> 00:55:46,260
Detective?
What's the word on the vent?

1248
00:55:46,469 --> 00:55:51,057
Seriously, if there was a sniff of a
wager in this town,

1249
00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:52,266
I would know.

1250
00:55:52,475 --> 00:55:54,852
My friends would tell me.

1251
00:55:55,061 --> 00:55:57,313
Well, that's good enough for me.

1252
00:55:57,521 --> 00:56:00,441
I trust this man's instincts 100%.

1253
00:56:00,649 --> 00:56:01,859
<i>ORB'!-</i>

1254
00:56:02,068 --> 00:56:04,528
Either of you know anything about where
Oscar took my horse?

1255
00:56:04,737 --> 00:56:06,447
- He took your horse again?
- Yeah.

1256
00:56:06,655 --> 00:56:08,657
Just now, apparently.

1257
00:56:09,742 --> 00:56:12,411
Mr. Sandman

1258
00:56:12,620 --> 00:56:13,871
Bring me a dream

1259
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:15,414
Bum bum bum bum

1260
00:56:15,623 --> 00:56:17,083
So, uh, here it is.

1261
00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:18,501
- Amazing, huh?
- Yeah.

1262
00:56:18,709 --> 00:56:20,044
Yeah.
It's got everything, right?

1263
00:56:20,252 --> 00:56:25,132
You know, shops, uh, you know, trees,
over there, uh...

1264
00:56:25,341 --> 00:56:28,302
Oh, look at that.
A church-looking thing there.

1265
00:56:28,511 --> 00:56:30,638
Yep.
Everything but a Goff-Nuts.

1266
00:56:30,846 --> 00:56:32,431
Are you okay?

1267
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:33,599
Yeah!

1268
00:56:33,808 --> 00:56:34,934
Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, yeah.

1269
00:56:35,142 --> 00:56:37,686
No, I'm... I'm just, uh...

1270
00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:41,816
sickened... by how much better this town
is than ours.

1271
00:56:42,024 --> 00:56:44,318
Excuse me. Hi!
I don't mean to interrupt.

1272
00:56:44,527 --> 00:56:46,695
But we're putting on
a choir recital fundraiser,

1273
00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,064
and we have two tickets left.

1274
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:49,824
It would be so great
to sell it out.

1275
00:56:50,032 --> 00:56:50,950
Oh, we're not interested
in any...

1276
00:56:51,158 --> 00:56:51,951
Here you go.

1277
00:56:52,159 --> 00:56:53,119
There you go.
Glad we could help.

1278
00:56:53,327 --> 00:56:55,246
It's starting soon.
We'll get you seated.

1279
00:56:55,454 --> 00:56:56,497
Here.

1280
00:56:56,705 --> 00:56:59,125
Yeah. Go ahead.
I'm right behind you.

1281
00:57:01,043 --> 00:57:05,381
A recital in a dark hall surrounded by
pure evil.

1282
00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:07,299
Hello, stranger.

1283
00:57:07,508 --> 00:57:09,135
Davis!

1284
00:57:09,343 --> 00:57:12,346
What are you doing here?
You smoke?

1285
00:57:12,555 --> 00:57:15,474
I was gonna
ask you the same thing.

1286
00:57:15,683 --> 00:57:18,769
Not the smoke thing.
The other thing.

1287
00:57:20,062 --> 00:57:22,102
I'm trying to get Jerome
to open up a Goff-Nuts here

1288
00:57:22,189 --> 00:57:24,567
so he wrecks this place
instead of Dog River.

1289
00:57:25,568 --> 00:57:27,486
Do you know what they want
with the town plans?

1290
00:57:27,695 --> 00:57:30,072
Town plans?
No.

1291
00:57:30,281 --> 00:57:32,199
But I heard Jerome
and that lady talking,

1292
00:57:32,408 --> 00:57:34,118
and it didn't sound good.

1293
00:57:34,326 --> 00:57:37,455
I mean, I should probably go
in there and try to find out,

1294
00:57:37,663 --> 00:57:40,166
but... I'm scared, Davis.

1295
00:57:40,374 --> 00:57:42,209
That place is full of...

1296
00:57:42,418 --> 00:57:43,878
People from Wullerton.

1297
00:57:45,754 --> 00:57:47,214
And they're singing.

1298
00:57:47,423 --> 00:57:49,743
Let's get the hell out of here and
figure this out at home.

1299
00:57:49,842 --> 00:57:51,093
Yeah.

1300
00:57:59,685 --> 00:58:03,397
CN Transport.
CN Tower.

1301
00:58:03,606 --> 00:58:05,566
C&C Music Factory.

1302
00:58:06,859 --> 00:58:08,986
Aw, come on!
Give me a break!

1303
00:58:11,363 --> 00:58:13,449
Oh. Thanks.

1304
00:58:16,911 --> 00:58:20,873
Okay. CN Holdings.

1305
00:58:23,292 --> 00:58:25,878
Oh. Hello.

1306
00:58:28,130 --> 00:58:30,508
Oh, for the love of Pete!

1307
00:58:40,643 --> 00:58:42,728
I can't believe
you missed dinner.

1308
00:58:42,937 --> 00:58:44,396
Huh? Oh.

1309
00:58:44,605 --> 00:58:47,316
Oh, my God.
I missed a dinner.

1310
00:58:47,525 --> 00:58:48,609
What have I become?

1311
00:58:48,817 --> 00:58:51,695
I know you're under stress, but this
meal was important to me.

1312
00:58:51,904 --> 00:58:53,572
I'm sorry, Mom.

1313
00:58:53,781 --> 00:58:55,658
My mind is a million
different places.

1314
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:58,452
I'm up to my keister in debt, maybe even
more.

1315
00:58:58,661 --> 00:58:59,703
My keister's pretty low.

1316
00:58:59,912 --> 00:59:01,330
And look at this place.
It's dead.

1317
00:59:01,539 --> 00:59:03,832
Yet you can sit around
playing with your computer.

1318
00:59:04,041 --> 00:59:06,877
Well, this isn't "Angry Candy"
or "Birds with Friends."

1319
00:59:07,086 --> 00:59:09,004
I'm doing research
on CN Holdings.

1320
00:59:09,213 --> 00:59:10,297
Hey, guys!

1321
00:59:10,506 --> 00:59:14,134
Whoa! The power's back on!
What is up with that?

1322
00:59:14,343 --> 00:59:15,678
And just where the hell
were you?

1323
00:59:15,886 --> 00:59:17,054
Nowhere near there.

1324
00:59:18,222 --> 00:59:19,598
Oh, Emma.

1325
00:59:19,807 --> 00:59:21,058
Dinner.

1326
00:59:21,267 --> 00:59:22,977
Oh, I'm...
I'm so sorry I forgot.

1327
00:59:23,185 --> 00:59:24,270
I was, um...

1328
00:59:24,478 --> 00:59:26,564
Oh, man. You know what?
I can't tell you where I was.

1329
00:59:26,772 --> 00:59:29,024
But the power's on.
And isn't that great?

1330
00:59:29,233 --> 00:59:30,901
You two are unbelievable.

1331
00:59:31,110 --> 00:59:32,528
I hope you have a good life.

1332
00:59:32,736 --> 00:59:37,700
And don't even try to stop
by the Leroys' for leftovers.

1333
00:59:37,908 --> 00:59:40,369
There aren't any.

1334
00:59:41,078 --> 00:59:43,122
No leftovers?
Damn it.

1335
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:48,836
Brent, the lights are back on. The
power's on.

1336
00:59:49,044 --> 00:59:50,462
I made it happen.

1337
00:59:50,671 --> 00:59:53,716
<i>And I did it... illegally.</i>

1338
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,176
Oh.

1339
00:59:58,178 --> 01:00:00,055
L-I'm a criminal now.

1340
01:00:00,264 --> 01:00:01,104
And you're whispering

1341
01:00:01,307 --> 01:00:03,058
because you think
the place might be bugged?

1342
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,240
Hey, listen, speaking
of criminal activity,

1343
01:00:06,312 --> 01:00:08,314
there's something weird
going on around town.

1344
01:00:08,522 --> 01:00:10,107
There's a company
named CN Holdings

1345
01:00:10,316 --> 01:00:12,943
that's going door to door, offering to
buy people's houses.

1346
01:00:13,152 --> 01:00:14,236
Who's CN Holdings?

1347
01:00:14,445 --> 01:00:17,364
They're a subsidiary
of Goff-Nuts, Incorporated.

1348
01:00:17,573 --> 01:00:19,450
They handle all
the real-estate transactions

1349
01:00:19,658 --> 01:00:20,909
for the Goff-Nuts franchise.

1350
01:00:21,118 --> 01:00:23,412
But why would they
be buying houses?

1351
01:00:23,621 --> 01:00:24,872
This is unbelievable.

1352
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:26,165
What are you thinking?

1353
01:00:26,373 --> 01:00:29,460
If it was just my mom,
how can there be no leftovers?

1354
01:00:30,628 --> 01:00:31,795
Focus!

1355
01:00:32,963 --> 01:00:33,922
Bum bum bum bum bum

1356
01:00:34,131 --> 01:00:35,174
Would you like
some lemonade, sirs?

1357
01:00:35,382 --> 01:00:37,426
We're raising money
for the less fortunate.

1358
01:00:37,635 --> 01:00:39,345
Right, right.

1359
01:00:39,553 --> 01:00:40,346
Let me guess.

1360
01:00:40,554 --> 01:00:43,223
Your name's Les,
and your name's Fortunate.

1361
01:00:43,432 --> 01:00:45,225
Seriously,
it's for a good cause.

1362
01:00:45,434 --> 01:00:48,437
<i>Oh, sure.
Cause you want the money.</i>

1363
01:00:48,646 --> 01:00:50,939
You two sure are good
at wordplay.

1364
01:00:52,149 --> 01:00:53,233
Is there a problem here?

1365
01:00:55,903 --> 01:00:57,863
Let's get the hell out of here.

1366
01:00:58,072 --> 01:01:01,575
More like, "Let's get out
of the <i>hell</i> here."

1367
01:01:01,784 --> 01:01:04,119
Enough with the wordplay.
Let's go!

1368
01:01:09,124 --> 01:01:10,376
Fitzy?

1369
01:01:14,755 --> 01:01:17,299
Hey!
Hey, I think I just saw Fitzy!

1370
01:01:26,642 --> 01:01:27,810
Davis!

1371
01:01:28,018 --> 01:01:30,104
Holy hell!
What happened to your face?

1372
01:01:30,312 --> 01:01:34,024
I'm a gumshoe.
Danger comes with the territory.

1373
01:01:34,233 --> 01:01:36,527
- What do you want?
- Karen stole my horse again.

1374
01:01:36,735 --> 01:01:38,896
I want to hire you to follow her and get
my horse back.

1375
01:01:39,071 --> 01:01:40,114
Oscar, we've already
been through this...

1376
01:01:40,322 --> 01:01:41,907
I'm willing to pay you
this time,

1377
01:01:42,116 --> 01:01:43,742
but I want a seniors discount.

1378
01:01:43,951 --> 01:01:45,119
<i>I'll</i> give you 10 bucks now...

1379
01:01:45,327 --> 01:01:47,496
- Hey.
- There she is.

1380
01:01:50,999 --> 01:01:52,918
No, I found her!

1381
01:01:53,127 --> 01:01:54,670
Wait!

1382
01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:57,965
Give me my money back!

1383
01:01:58,841 --> 01:02:00,217
I think I saw Fitzy.

1384
01:02:00,426 --> 01:02:02,052
- What was Fitzy doing there?
- I don't know.

1385
01:02:02,261 --> 01:02:04,701
I mean, I was pretty focused on saving
the Ruby and Dog River.

1386
01:02:04,888 --> 01:02:06,890
Which you almost destroyed
in the first place.

1387
01:02:07,099 --> 01:02:08,420
Lacey, could you
please tell Brent

1388
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,227
that I refuse to speak to him

1389
01:02:10,436 --> 01:02:13,480
until he apologizes for screwing over
his once best friend?

1390
01:02:13,689 --> 01:02:14,857
Apologize?
For what?

1391
01:02:15,065 --> 01:02:17,151
Your lousy memory
or your delusions of grandeur?

1392
01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:18,736
Lacey, could you
please ask Brent

1393
01:02:18,944 --> 01:02:20,487
to leave my grandeur
out of this?

1394
01:02:20,696 --> 01:02:23,073
All right, you know what?
Just stop it, both of you!

1395
01:02:23,282 --> 01:02:25,993
We need to focus on
what Goff-Nuts and CN Holdings

1396
01:02:26,201 --> 01:02:27,327
are planning for Dog River.

1397
01:02:27,536 --> 01:02:29,413
To turn it into
a Western Divisional Depot.

1398
01:02:30,205 --> 01:02:31,415
I just got a ride home

1399
01:02:31,623 --> 01:02:33,424
from some very friendly people from
Wullerton.

1400
01:02:33,542 --> 01:02:34,334
[All spit 1

1401
01:02:34,543 --> 01:02:36,628
Very kind of... creepy friendly.

1402
01:02:36,837 --> 01:02:38,172
They are creepy, aren't they?

1403
01:02:38,380 --> 01:02:39,965
Yeah.
What happened to your face?

1404
01:02:40,174 --> 01:02:42,217
Never mind his face.
What's going on'?

1405
01:02:42,426 --> 01:02:44,553
Dog River just happens to be
a nice geographical hub

1406
01:02:44,762 --> 01:02:45,763
for western Canada.

1407
01:02:45,971 --> 01:02:48,849
CN Holdings plans to buy up the town and
use the infrastructure

1408
01:02:49,057 --> 01:02:50,618
for a huge factory
and storage facility.

1409
01:02:50,726 --> 01:02:53,479
What?
That's like cartoon evil.

1410
01:02:53,687 --> 01:02:55,355
You weasel in the grass.

1411
01:02:55,564 --> 01:02:58,525
I knew that you were up to no good the
first time I met you.

1412
01:02:58,734 --> 01:02:59,526
Wait a minute.

1413
01:02:59,735 --> 01:03:01,735
The only reason I'm here
is because Hank called me.

1414
01:03:01,779 --> 01:03:04,156
I'm not scheming
to ruin your little town.

1415
01:03:04,364 --> 01:03:06,325
Lacey told me
Dog River was dead.

1416
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:08,410
That's the only reason
I called my bosses.

1417
01:03:08,619 --> 01:03:09,703
I like you people.

1418
01:03:09,912 --> 01:03:13,040
Personally, I hope you win this whole
"quaint town" contest.

1419
01:03:13,248 --> 01:03:14,208
Survive.
Good for you.

1420
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:16,096
Well, we're not going down without a
fight.

1421
01:03:16,210 --> 01:03:18,879
Now, I've just had a very creepy and
stressful ride back.

1422
01:03:19,087 --> 01:03:20,168
I could really use a drink.

1423
01:03:22,341 --> 01:03:24,176
Look, I'm here
to support your bar.

1424
01:03:24,384 --> 01:03:26,553
In fact, I'll buy
all the drinks tonight

1425
01:03:26,762 --> 01:03:28,305
if you open up a tab for me.

1426
01:03:28,514 --> 01:03:30,432
How about that?

1427
01:03:33,435 --> 01:03:35,562
All right.
I'll open up a tab.

1428
01:03:35,771 --> 01:03:37,272
Only because I need the money.

1429
01:03:37,481 --> 01:03:39,858
And I like free drinks.
But I don't like you.

1430
01:03:41,235 --> 01:03:43,529
So I'm gonna be serving you
with this face.

1431
01:03:49,159 --> 01:03:51,662
Hey, Sandy!
Bra-less... risky!

1432
01:03:53,455 --> 01:03:55,249
At the Copa

1433
01:03:55,457 --> 01:03:57,793
Copahavana

1434
01:03:58,001 --> 01:04:02,089
<i>The hottest spot
here to Kelowna, whoo</i>

1435
01:04:02,297 --> 01:04:07,553
Music and fashion and guys
with mustaches at the Cop...

1436
01:04:07,761 --> 01:04:09,680
Aw, crap.

1437
01:04:10,389 --> 01:04:12,099
That's not how it goes.

1438
01:04:12,307 --> 01:04:13,392
<i>D.R.P.D.</i>

1439
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:15,102
I'm shutting this place down, people.

1440
01:04:15,310 --> 01:04:17,312
Hit the bricks.

1441
01:04:20,649 --> 01:04:22,734
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where do you think you're going?

1442
01:04:22,943 --> 01:04:23,861
Horne.

1443
01:04:24,069 --> 01:04:26,321
That was my fourth show tonight.
My heels are killing me.

1444
01:04:26,530 --> 01:04:28,824
Illegal gambling
is a serious crime.

1445
01:04:29,032 --> 01:04:31,410
Well, write me up
for a parking infraction,

1446
01:04:31,618 --> 01:04:32,619
and we'll call it a day.

1447
01:04:32,828 --> 01:04:34,037
Wanda...

1448
01:04:34,955 --> 01:04:36,039
don't push it.

1449
01:04:36,248 --> 01:04:37,499
"Don't push it."

1450
01:04:37,708 --> 01:04:39,751
Pretty tough talk
when your backup's a baby.

1451
01:04:40,752 --> 01:04:42,629
You know what really hurts?

1452
01:04:42,838 --> 01:04:45,549
Is that you and Davis
lied right to my face.

1453
01:04:46,466 --> 01:04:48,302
Well, about Davis...

1454
01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:51,889
I hope you have a search warrant because

1455
01:04:52,097 --> 01:04:53,599
Hey, there's a casino
in my garage.

1456
01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:56,518
You seriously had no idea
this was happening?

1457
01:04:56,727 --> 01:04:58,729
"Oh, if there was a sniff
of a wager in town,

1458
01:04:58,937 --> 01:04:59,771
I'd know about it."

1459
01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:03,066
Man, doesn't get any stupider than that.

1460
01:05:04,109 --> 01:05:06,904
Aha! Keeping my horse
in a casino, eh'?

1461
01:05:07,112 --> 01:05:09,948
Holy hell.
We got a casino!

1462
01:05:10,157 --> 01:05:11,909
Where the hell's my horse?!

1463
01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:17,497
What are we gonna do now?

1464
01:05:17,706 --> 01:05:19,833
Drink as much booze as we can and run up
Jerome's tab.

1465
01:05:20,042 --> 01:05:21,877
What? No!
I mean about the town.

1466
01:05:22,085 --> 01:05:24,212
Lacey, could you
tell the bartender

1467
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:25,701
that I would like another drink?

1468
01:05:25,714 --> 01:05:27,090
Oh, tell him yourself.

1469
01:05:29,718 --> 01:05:31,970
Well, now you're
just being rude.

1470
01:05:34,431 --> 01:05:36,683
Yes, that is a bottle.

1471
01:05:37,392 --> 01:05:39,353
You want two bottles?
You want to put sand in it?

1472
01:05:39,561 --> 01:05:40,562
I don't know what you're saying.

1473
01:05:40,771 --> 01:05:42,314
Is little Timmy
stuck in the well?

1474
01:05:43,690 --> 01:05:45,150
Whoa. Easy, there.

1475
01:05:45,359 --> 01:05:46,944
You know
what I've been thinking?

1476
01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:50,781
What is a girl from Toronto doing in a
small town like this?

1477
01:05:50,989 --> 01:05:54,368
- Well, I...
- You're smart. You're pretty.

1478
01:05:55,118 --> 01:05:56,870
You deserve better than this.

1479
01:05:57,079 --> 01:05:58,038
You do.

1480
01:05:58,246 --> 01:06:01,458
From the first moment
that I saw you, very first,

1481
01:06:01,667 --> 01:06:05,879
I really thought you and I,
we clicked.

1482
01:06:06,088 --> 01:06:08,215
Nope. No.
No.

1483
01:06:08,423 --> 01:06:09,549
- Come on.
- Sorry. No click.

1484
01:06:09,758 --> 01:06:10,717
Or crackle.

1485
01:06:10,926 --> 01:06:11,927
Not even a pop.

1486
01:06:12,135 --> 01:06:13,415
It's... It's more of a pffftthh!

1487
01:06:13,512 --> 01:06:14,346
<i>Oh.</i>

1488
01:06:14,554 --> 01:06:15,834
Well, that...
that's just because

1489
01:06:15,973 --> 01:06:17,182
you're not giving me a chance.

1490
01:06:17,391 --> 01:06:19,726
- Well...
- Why can't you be more friendly?

1491
01:06:19,935 --> 01:06:22,562
I mean, why can't you be more like the
people from Wullerton?

1492
01:06:26,024 --> 01:06:26,984
I think I'm in love.

1493
01:06:27,192 --> 01:06:29,486
Wow.
You're like a biker chick.

1494
01:06:29,695 --> 01:06:31,016
All right, buddy,
here's your tab.

1495
01:06:31,113 --> 01:06:31,947
Time to go.

1496
01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:33,323
I'm not ready to go.

1497
01:06:33,532 --> 01:06:34,732
Well, I'm ready for you to go.

1498
01:06:34,866 --> 01:06:36,994
You're getting a little sloppy, so
vamoose.

1499
01:06:37,202 --> 01:06:37,911
Or?

1500
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:41,665
Or skedaddle, scurry, scoot.

1501
01:06:41,873 --> 01:06:43,625
I'll go when I'm good and ready.

1502
01:06:45,794 --> 01:06:48,338
As it turns out, I'm ready now.

1503
01:06:52,217 --> 01:06:53,719
It's a good thing he left
when he did.

1504
01:06:53,927 --> 01:06:56,722
Yeah, the last thing
you need now is legal troubles.

1505
01:06:57,472 --> 01:06:58,515
Whoa! Oof!

1506
01:06:58,724 --> 01:07:00,517
'Aah!

1507
01:07:00,726 --> 01:07:02,185
Ow!

1508
01:07:02,394 --> 01:07:03,895
'- Ah!

1509
01:07:05,230 --> 01:07:07,524
That wasn't the sound
of a door slamming, was it?

1510
01:07:07,733 --> 01:07:08,854
- Mnh-mnh.
- I'm a Ford Tempo

1511
01:07:08,984 --> 01:07:11,194
You're a Maserati

1512
01:07:11,403 --> 01:07:15,782
You're the Great One,
I'm Marty McSorley

1513
01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:24,958
Hey, sorry.
I don't think I can help you.

1514
01:07:25,167 --> 01:07:26,293
The pumps won't work
when the power's out.

1515
01:07:26,501 --> 01:07:29,046
- You Brent Leroy?
- Yeah. Who's asking?

1516
01:07:30,505 --> 01:07:32,049
You're being sued?

1517
01:07:32,257 --> 01:07:34,051
I'm more surprised
I got served like that.

1518
01:07:34,259 --> 01:07:36,303
I thought that only happened
in movies.

1519
01:07:36,511 --> 01:07:38,013
So I guess you're gonna
need a lawyer.

1520
01:07:38,221 --> 01:07:39,765
I could help you.

1521
01:07:41,016 --> 01:07:42,642
Oh, I think you've done enough.

1522
01:07:42,851 --> 01:07:45,937
But I have studied a ton
of law cases.

1523
01:07:46,146 --> 01:07:48,190
Cohen vs. Woytowich.

1524
01:07:48,398 --> 01:07:50,067
Barker vs. Tunney.

1525
01:07:50,275 --> 01:07:52,861
I've seen "Kramer vs. Kramer" like 10
times.

1526
01:07:55,155 --> 01:07:56,198
Come on.

1527
01:07:56,406 --> 01:07:57,741
Let me make this up to you.

1528
01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,910
I think I'll stick
with a professional.

1529
01:08:00,118 --> 01:08:02,662
We are going to submit
the following evidence...

1530
01:08:02,871 --> 01:08:05,082
contractor's quote
showing that the hotel bar

1531
01:08:05,290 --> 01:08:06,416
was in dire need of repair,

1532
01:08:06,625 --> 01:08:09,086
photos of the location
where the incident occurred,

1533
01:08:09,294 --> 01:08:11,546
a doctor's statement
listing injuries sustained,

1534
01:08:11,755 --> 01:08:14,216
as well as
a psychological examination

1535
01:08:14,424 --> 01:08:17,385
for undue stress caused by
the resulting incident.

1536
01:08:20,013 --> 01:08:22,474
Whoa.
Is this all from this case?

1537
01:08:22,682 --> 01:08:24,851
It is? Yikes.

1538
01:08:25,894 --> 01:08:27,229
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

1539
01:08:27,437 --> 01:08:29,523
I just... I just get the sweats.

1540
01:08:30,232 --> 01:08:31,233
Nerves.

1541
01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:34,778
I, um... I mostly handle pet-related
law.

1542
01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,571
Bites, fecal damage,

1543
01:08:36,780 --> 01:08:39,282
"your ferret ate my canary,"
stuff like that.

1544
01:08:41,201 --> 01:08:42,953
You're wearing a tie.
Smart.

1545
01:08:44,788 --> 01:08:46,456
May I borrow it?

1546
01:08:47,374 --> 01:08:49,459
All right, you're my lawyer.

1547
01:08:49,668 --> 01:08:52,379
Really? Yes!
Let's do this.

1548
01:09:18,155 --> 01:09:19,573
Not guilty!

1549
01:09:19,781 --> 01:09:21,825
Okay!

1550
01:09:22,033 --> 01:09:23,869
Our case is up next.

1551
01:09:24,578 --> 01:09:25,620
Guilty!

1552
01:09:25,829 --> 01:09:27,038
Damn it!

1553
01:09:27,247 --> 01:09:28,957
Oh, I'm really sorry, Brent.

1554
01:09:29,166 --> 01:09:30,584
I really thought
I could do this.

1555
01:09:30,792 --> 01:09:33,211
I just thought that if I could make this
all disappear,

1556
01:09:33,420 --> 01:09:36,798
then maybe you'd forgive me for screwing
up your bar business.

1557
01:09:37,883 --> 01:09:39,134
There's nothing to forgive.

1558
01:09:41,344 --> 01:09:42,888
You were doing it for your kid.

1559
01:09:46,224 --> 01:09:47,350
We're good.

1560
01:09:47,559 --> 01:09:48,768
Really?

1561
01:09:51,855 --> 01:09:53,231
Wow.

1562
01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:56,401
All the years I've known you,
I don't think we've ever hugged.

1563
01:09:57,110 --> 01:09:59,696
Well, now you just
made it weird.

1564
01:10:10,957 --> 01:10:13,668
Everything in my life,
good or bad,

1565
01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:16,129
has happened
around this gas station.

1566
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,173
It's all I know.

1567
01:10:19,674 --> 01:10:21,176
It's okay.

1568
01:10:21,384 --> 01:10:24,012
You're not just four walls
and some pumps.

1569
01:10:24,221 --> 01:10:26,181
There's a lot more to you
than that.

1570
01:10:27,057 --> 01:10:28,934
Is that a fat joke?

1571
01:10:42,030 --> 01:10:44,658
Look, I'm sorry
I disappointed you both.

1572
01:10:44,866 --> 01:10:48,662
I screwed up the sale of the house and
now the gas station.

1573
01:10:48,870 --> 01:10:50,247
Generations of Leroys

1574
01:10:50,455 --> 01:10:52,415
have built this business
from the ground up.

1575
01:10:52,624 --> 01:10:55,627
Actually, your great-uncle
won it in a card game.

1576
01:10:55,835 --> 01:10:57,212
Used to be a bakery.

1577
01:10:57,837 --> 01:11:00,674
The most important thing
is we still have each other.

1578
01:11:00,882 --> 01:11:04,970
Friends and family
are all that counts.

1579
01:11:05,178 --> 01:11:06,221
Money helps, too.

1580
01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:09,224
I, uh... I called
that Realtor woman.

1581
01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:11,810
She's coming tomorrow
to look at the house again.

1582
01:11:12,602 --> 01:11:14,020
What?

1583
01:11:15,522 --> 01:11:18,692
I got a family to take care of.

1584
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,819
Wow, Dad, that is
the most reasonable thing

1585
01:11:21,027 --> 01:11:21,987
I've ever heard you say.

1586
01:11:22,070 --> 01:11:24,489
Besides, I can trap squirrels
in the city.

1587
01:11:24,698 --> 01:11:27,075
- And there's the crazy.
- Mm-hmm.

1588
01:11:36,584 --> 01:11:40,338
Well, I... I guess
it's just time to move on.

1589
01:11:40,547 --> 01:11:41,298
Or?

1590
01:11:42,799 --> 01:11:44,884
Geez, Fitzy. Where the hell
did you come from?

1591
01:11:45,093 --> 01:11:47,137
I was crouching over there
in the tall grass.

1592
01:11:47,345 --> 01:11:48,426
I didn't want to interrupt.

1593
01:11:48,513 --> 01:11:49,793
What were you doing
in Wullerton?

1594
01:11:49,931 --> 01:11:51,057
[All spit 1

1595
01:11:51,266 --> 01:11:55,312
I've figured out a way to erase the
debt, repair the water pump,

1596
01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:58,064
and get Dog River
back to its old self again!

1597
01:11:58,273 --> 01:11:59,190
That doesn't involve
the lottery?

1598
01:11:59,399 --> 01:12:00,608
No, no.

1599
01:12:00,817 --> 01:12:04,821
We can have our town
back to normal if we...

1600
01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:08,908
agree to be annexed
by Wullerton!

1601
01:12:09,117 --> 01:12:10,118
[All spit 1

1602
01:12:10,952 --> 01:12:12,620
Annexed?!

1603
01:12:12,746 --> 01:12:14,080
Annexed?!

1604
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:16,041
What does "annexed" mean?

1605
01:12:16,249 --> 01:12:18,585
Oh, it's Latin
for "Fitzy's an idiot"!

1606
01:12:18,793 --> 01:12:22,172
Nobody's annexing anything, buddy boy!

1607
01:12:22,380 --> 01:12:24,507
I agree with Dad!
Oh, dear.

1608
01:12:24,716 --> 01:12:29,346
Did you see what those vicious bastards
did to Hank and Davis?

1609
01:12:31,389 --> 01:12:32,557
Is there a problem here?

1610
01:12:34,726 --> 01:12:36,519
"Ohh!
"Ohh!

1611
01:12:36,728 --> 01:12:39,064
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh! Oh!

1612
01:12:39,272 --> 01:12:40,732
Ow.

1613
01:12:41,983 --> 01:12:44,652
Were you two giving
those nice men trouble?

1614
01:12:47,155 --> 01:12:48,615
What do you people want?

1615
01:12:48,823 --> 01:12:50,408
If we don't let them annex us,

1616
01:12:50,617 --> 01:12:53,912
Goff-Nuts is gonna bulldoze the town and
put up a big warehouse.

1617
01:12:58,083 --> 01:13:00,293
Okay, everybody,
shut the hell up!

1618
01:13:00,502 --> 01:13:02,003
We've forgotten about
the contest.

1619
01:13:02,212 --> 01:13:04,089
It's not too late.

1620
01:13:04,297 --> 01:13:06,966
I mean, obviously,
our town isn't quaint.

1621
01:13:07,175 --> 01:13:08,843
But it doesn't have to be.

1622
01:13:09,052 --> 01:13:11,971
All we have to do is fool
that National Star <i>woman</i>

1623
01:13:12,180 --> 01:13:13,848
<i>into thinking it is.</i>

1624
01:13:14,057 --> 01:13:15,809
She arrives in... six hours.

1625
01:13:16,017 --> 01:13:16,851
We can do it.

1626
01:13:17,060 --> 01:13:20,105
We can clean up this mess,
run her down Main Street,

1627
01:13:20,313 --> 01:13:23,650
have some pie and coffee, and sweet-talk
her big-city heinie

1628
01:13:23,858 --> 01:13:25,610
into giving us the title.

1629
01:13:25,819 --> 01:13:28,655
We just need to get along
for one afternoon.

1630
01:13:28,863 --> 01:13:29,781
Lacey's right.

1631
01:13:29,989 --> 01:13:33,410
We may not be quaint,
but we're tremendous liars!

1632
01:13:33,618 --> 01:13:35,161
I say we give this
one last shot!

1633
01:13:35,370 --> 01:13:37,455
Who's with us?

1634
01:13:37,664 --> 01:13:38,790
Yes!

1635
01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:46,089
I move we reinstate Lacey
as chairman of the committee.

1636
01:13:46,297 --> 01:13:47,715
And Myrtle seconds it.

1637
01:13:47,924 --> 01:13:48,925
<i>L</i> do?

1638
01:13:49,134 --> 01:13:50,677
Yes, you do.

1639
01:13:50,885 --> 01:13:52,554
All right!
Then let's do this!

1640
01:13:54,848 --> 01:13:57,392
We already said
we were going to do it.

1641
01:13:57,600 --> 01:13:58,560
Well, all righty, then.

1642
01:13:58,768 --> 01:14:00,437
Let's go!

1643
01:14:01,396 --> 01:14:02,564
One, two, one, two, one, two.

1644
01:14:02,772 --> 01:14:06,025
That's how I learned
about painting the town

1645
01:14:06,234 --> 01:14:09,946
When her mama said
to jump in a lake

1646
01:14:10,447 --> 01:14:13,867
I had a good time,
and it was her mistake

1647
01:14:14,075 --> 01:14:18,121
I got my head down,
sticking to the track

1648
01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:22,125
I got no plan
'cause that'll hold me back

1649
01:14:22,333 --> 01:14:24,586
I don't know, doo, doo, doo

1650
01:14:24,794 --> 01:14:27,380
Come make my house your home

1651
01:14:27,589 --> 01:14:28,673
Doo, doo, doo

1652
01:14:28,882 --> 01:14:31,176
Come make my house your home

1653
01:14:31,384 --> 01:14:33,052
- Doo, doo, doo -What do you think you're
doing?

1654
01:14:33,261 --> 01:14:34,053
When this is over,

1655
01:14:34,262 --> 01:14:36,681
you and I are going to square things
away with my horse.

1656
01:14:36,890 --> 01:14:39,767
I legally confiscated
that horse, so bring him back!

1657
01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:42,353
Back from where?
You stole him out in the woods!

1658
01:14:42,562 --> 01:14:44,939
Yeah, and then you took him back outside
Corner Gas!

1659
01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:47,442
What the hell are...
Oh, I get it.

1660
01:14:47,650 --> 01:14:49,611
This is some dirty-mind
cop game.

1661
01:14:49,819 --> 01:14:51,946
I think you mean
"dirty-cop mind game."

1662
01:14:52,155 --> 01:14:53,239
I think.

1663
01:14:53,448 --> 01:14:55,158
Why don't you get
your own horse?

1664
01:14:55,366 --> 01:14:56,743
Like this one.

1665
01:14:57,702 --> 01:14:59,245
What the deuce?!

1666
01:14:59,454 --> 01:15:01,080
Emma!

1667
01:15:01,289 --> 01:15:02,373
Emma!

1668
01:15:02,582 --> 01:15:05,752
I'm sick and tired
of you two sneaking around.

1669
01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,880
So I took Big Slick
and made him my own.

1670
01:15:09,088 --> 01:15:11,174
And he's gonna be
up front and center

1671
01:15:11,382 --> 01:15:13,760
when that newspaper lady
gets here.

1672
01:15:13,968 --> 01:15:15,094
Isn't that right, Slick?

1673
01:15:15,303 --> 01:15:17,639
- His name is Socks.
- His name is Scope.

1674
01:15:22,519 --> 01:15:23,478
<i>ORB'!-</i>

1675
01:15:23,686 --> 01:15:25,188
Just make sure Socks

1676
01:15:25,396 --> 01:15:27,690
doesn't leave any donations
on the street.

1677
01:15:36,741 --> 01:15:38,826
Something I can help you with?

1678
01:15:40,495 --> 01:15:43,248
Just, uh,
got a spot of rust there.

1679
01:15:43,456 --> 01:15:44,856
You might want
to keep an eye on it.

1680
01:15:44,999 --> 01:15:46,084
Will do.

1681
01:15:47,043 --> 01:15:49,337
What's with the shredded paper in the
back seat?

1682
01:15:49,546 --> 01:15:53,508
Oh, I finally cleaned out
the files in the back storeroom.

1683
01:15:54,926 --> 01:15:56,844
I always meant to do that.

1684
01:15:57,887 --> 01:15:59,973
I'm sorry what I said before.

1685
01:16:00,181 --> 01:16:02,559
You're a damn good
police officer.

1686
01:16:02,767 --> 01:16:04,894
I'm sorry for what I said, too.

1687
01:16:05,103 --> 01:16:06,688
I miss nap time.

1688
01:16:09,107 --> 01:16:12,277
Lacey wants me to escort
the National Star <i>woman</i>

1689
01:16:12,485 --> 01:16:14,279
with full lights and siren.

1690
01:16:14,487 --> 01:16:16,990
You should suit up
and ride along.

1691
01:16:17,198 --> 01:16:18,741
Really?

1692
01:16:18,950 --> 01:16:21,411
Could be our last chance
to be partners.

1693
01:16:22,203 --> 01:16:24,372
All right!

1694
01:16:24,581 --> 01:16:27,041
Okay, Davis,
this isn't very cop-like.

1695
01:16:32,297 --> 01:16:33,506
I don't like this!

1696
01:16:33,715 --> 01:16:37,760
You got Scope all dolled up
like some kind of Glacier Girl.

1697
01:16:37,969 --> 01:16:39,137
What are you doing?

1698
01:16:39,345 --> 01:16:40,221
He's a war-horse.

1699
01:16:40,430 --> 01:16:43,600
He should march down Main Street all
proud-like.

1700
01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:45,560
But we need him
to pull the wagon.

1701
01:16:45,768 --> 01:16:49,230
Get some of your flower cronies to pull
the stupid wagon.

1702
01:16:54,068 --> 01:16:55,236
Honest to God, Dad,

1703
01:16:55,445 --> 01:16:57,485
you're gonna get that horse
or somebody else killed.

1704
01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:00,116
It's a T-shirt cannon,

1705
01:17:00,325 --> 01:17:02,744
but I want to modify it
to shoot confetti.

1706
01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:03,953
A T-shirt cannon?

1707
01:17:04,162 --> 01:17:06,080
Yeah, check this out.

1708
01:17:06,289 --> 01:17:08,958
Hey, Marvin.
You want a T-shirt?

1709
01:17:09,167 --> 01:17:11,044
Oh!

1710
01:17:13,796 --> 01:17:15,965
Better dial that back a titch.

1711
01:17:17,091 --> 01:17:20,428
Along the front bed.
Okay? Hurry!

1712
01:17:20,637 --> 01:17:23,890
Oh, you guys,
I said wear band uniforms.

1713
01:17:24,098 --> 01:17:27,518
These <i>are our band uniforms.
We do</i> a <i>John Denver medley.</i>

1714
01:17:27,727 --> 01:17:29,937
Huh. Oh, well. I guess
it's too late to change now.

1715
01:17:30,146 --> 01:17:31,731
Is that why you're wearing <i>that?</i>

1716
01:17:31,939 --> 01:17:34,359
Okay.

1717
01:17:34,567 --> 01:17:36,487
Listen, as soon as Hank
gets here with the judge,

1718
01:17:36,569 --> 01:17:37,612
start playing-

1719
01:17:37,820 --> 01:17:39,947
When the truck passes, fall in behind
and finish at the Ruby.

1720
01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:41,032
Chop-chop!

1721
01:17:48,331 --> 01:17:51,084
I don't have any confetti.
Would rice work?

1722
01:17:51,292 --> 01:17:53,336
Couldn't hurt to try.

1723
01:17:57,465 --> 01:17:59,634
They're coming!
Here they come!

1724
01:18:00,677 --> 01:18:03,471
Okay, everyone!
They're here! Places!

1725
01:18:07,308 --> 01:18:08,434
Just a few more.

1726
01:18:08,643 --> 01:18:10,770
Hurry.
Hurry!

1727
01:18:18,361 --> 01:18:20,530
I think we may have
pulled this off.

1728
01:18:28,705 --> 01:18:29,622
Oh!

1729
01:18:30,415 --> 01:18:32,583
Bag of rice was your idea.

1730
01:18:33,418 --> 01:18:35,294
- Hey!
- I hope you're happy!

1731
01:18:35,503 --> 01:18:36,796
Scope is missing.

1732
01:18:37,004 --> 01:18:38,589
I can't deal with this
right now!

1733
01:18:38,798 --> 01:18:40,466
I have to finish
planting flowers.

1734
01:18:40,675 --> 01:18:41,884
My horse is missing,

1735
01:18:42,093 --> 01:18:46,556
and all you can worry about
is your stupid flowers!

1736
01:18:48,266 --> 01:18:49,726
- Whoa.
- Why, you!

1737
01:18:50,476 --> 01:18:51,310
Whoa!

1738
01:18:51,519 --> 01:18:54,188
Okay, buddy.

1739
01:18:54,397 --> 01:18:56,274
Let's you and me go for a walk.

1740
01:19:01,279 --> 01:19:02,822
Davis! Go!

1741
01:19:03,030 --> 01:19:04,157
Just turn on the lights!

1742
01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:05,658
Remember this moment, Karen.

1743
01:19:05,867 --> 01:19:08,661
Today's the day
that we saved Dog River.

1744
01:19:09,370 --> 01:19:11,247
What are you doing?

1745
01:19:11,456 --> 01:19:12,415
You're smoking?

1746
01:19:12,623 --> 01:19:15,334
Hasn't anyone seen
a detective movie?

1747
01:19:15,543 --> 01:19:18,129
Davis, I'm pregnant.

1748
01:19:18,337 --> 01:19:21,674
What, pregnant women
can't watch detective movies?

1749
01:19:23,009 --> 01:19:24,886
- Eee-ah!
- What were you thinking?!

1750
01:19:25,094 --> 01:19:27,513
Me? You're the one
that said use rice.

1751
01:19:27,722 --> 01:19:29,766
This is for shirts only!

1752
01:19:29,974 --> 01:19:31,100
See? Oh!

1753
01:19:31,976 --> 01:19:34,353
Just throw the stupid cigarette out the
window!

1754
01:19:39,859 --> 01:19:41,569
Oh! Oh, crap.

1755
01:19:43,446 --> 01:19:45,114
You okay, partner?
You hurt?

1756
01:19:45,323 --> 01:19:46,449
Where's that cigarette?

1757
01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:51,204
- Om 'Aah!

1758
01:19:51,412 --> 01:19:52,872
Fire!

1759
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,874
Go! Go!

1760
01:19:56,584 --> 01:20:00,004
Fire! Fire!

1761
01:20:14,936 --> 01:20:15,895
All right, don't panic.

1762
01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:18,356
We'll deal with this
in an orderly fashion.

1763
01:20:18,564 --> 01:20:20,608
Fitzy, you're on fire!
You're on fire!

1764
01:20:20,817 --> 01:20:22,985
- Aah!
- Fitzy's on fire!

1765
01:20:23,194 --> 01:20:24,695
On fire! Aah!

1766
01:20:29,700 --> 01:20:32,060
I don't know what you people consider
quaint, but this is...

1767
01:20:32,245 --> 01:20:33,871
- Aaah!
- Whoa!

1768
01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:35,748
Crap.

1769
01:20:35,957 --> 01:20:37,583
Oh, my God! Brent!

1770
01:20:41,796 --> 01:20:43,256
Do you feel dizzy?

1771
01:20:43,464 --> 01:20:44,882
I don't know.

1772
01:20:55,560 --> 01:20:59,313
On behalf of Dog River, I extend a
hearty prairie welcome...

1773
01:20:59,522 --> 01:21:01,649
Oh, give it a rest, Fitzy.

1774
01:21:02,483 --> 01:21:05,403
I think it's safe to say
we didn't pull this off.

1775
01:21:08,781 --> 01:21:09,699
<i>Hi. Um...</i>

1776
01:21:09,907 --> 01:21:11,576
- Tina.
- Tina.

1777
01:21:11,784 --> 01:21:14,871
I'm sorry that you had to come all the
way here and see this.

1778
01:21:15,830 --> 01:21:17,748
Okay, so the quaint thing
is out the window,

1779
01:21:17,957 --> 01:21:20,459
and our town is probably
gonna be bulldozed

1780
01:21:20,668 --> 01:21:24,797
and turned into a doughnut depot
or annexed by Wullerton.

1781
01:21:25,006 --> 01:21:26,215
[All spit 1

1782
01:21:27,758 --> 01:21:28,926
Oh, that's our thing we do.

1783
01:21:29,135 --> 01:21:30,344
But however this plays out,

1784
01:21:30,553 --> 01:21:31,804
we still have to be there
for each other.

1785
01:21:32,013 --> 01:21:35,391
The person who has tried the hardest and
fallen the farthest

1786
01:21:35,600 --> 01:21:36,767
is Brent.

1787
01:21:36,976 --> 01:21:38,603
So I think the least we can do

1788
01:21:38,811 --> 01:21:40,897
is help him
get back on his feet.

1789
01:21:41,105 --> 01:21:42,226
Because, honestly, you guys,

1790
01:21:42,315 --> 01:21:44,692
if Corner Gas can't survive, then none
of us can.

1791
01:21:47,028 --> 01:21:50,114
The town would love to help,
but the coffers are bone-dry.

1792
01:21:50,323 --> 01:21:51,824
Are you sure about that, Fitzy?

1793
01:21:52,033 --> 01:21:54,285
Karen's been writing
an awful lot of tickets.

1794
01:21:54,493 --> 01:21:56,454
- She has?
- Yes!

1795
01:21:56,662 --> 01:21:57,997
How many ticket books
did you go through?

1796
01:21:58,205 --> 01:21:59,332
Only five.

1797
01:21:59,540 --> 01:22:00,499
Five.

1798
01:22:00,708 --> 01:22:02,418
Again with the napkins?

1799
01:22:02,627 --> 01:22:04,147
With the average ticket price...

1800
01:22:04,211 --> 01:22:05,254
Carry the 11.

1801
01:22:07,715 --> 01:22:09,216
Holy crap!

1802
01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:12,094
Um, I think
we can help a little.

1803
01:22:12,303 --> 01:22:13,596
Good work, Officer Pelly!

1804
01:22:13,804 --> 01:22:15,598
Just doing my job.

1805
01:22:15,806 --> 01:22:19,268
Well, as some of you
may or may not know,

1806
01:22:19,477 --> 01:22:21,896
I have sort of been
running a sort of casino

1807
01:22:22,104 --> 01:22:24,523
out of, uh, some place.

1808
01:22:24,732 --> 01:22:25,775
So, um...

1809
01:22:27,151 --> 01:22:28,486
Here you go, pouty puss.

1810
01:22:34,575 --> 01:22:36,494
Whoa.
This is a lot of money.

1811
01:22:36,702 --> 01:22:38,120
Just don't make a big

1812
01:22:38,329 --> 01:22:39,650
whoop-dee-doo about it,
all right?

1813
01:22:39,830 --> 01:22:41,958
You know, just I saw
that you needed help, and...

1814
01:22:42,166 --> 01:22:43,167
Shut up.

1815
01:22:43,376 --> 01:22:45,962
- You are a good and loyal...
- I said shut up.

1816
01:22:46,879 --> 01:22:50,549
Okay, look, Brent,
I can't stay mad at you.

1817
01:22:50,758 --> 01:22:52,051
So, uh...

1818
01:22:52,259 --> 01:22:55,638
I've decided to sell shares in my new
venture-capital project

1819
01:22:55,846 --> 01:22:57,682
to... to donate to Brent.

1820
01:22:57,890 --> 01:23:00,267
Now, I can't say too much
about the project itself

1821
01:23:00,476 --> 01:23:02,269
except that it might
involve a rocket.

1822
01:23:03,354 --> 01:23:04,897
It's pretty awesome.

1823
01:23:05,106 --> 01:23:06,482
Or you know what?

1824
01:23:06,691 --> 01:23:09,610
You could all buy shares
in Brent's bar.

1825
01:23:11,112 --> 01:23:13,572
You mean we could be bar owners?

1826
01:23:13,781 --> 01:23:14,573
Absolutely.

1827
01:23:14,782 --> 01:23:16,742
Brent has been telling me
what a blast he's been having.

1828
01:23:16,951 --> 01:23:17,994
Isn't that right, Brent?

1829
01:23:18,202 --> 01:23:20,037
He's like his own Ted Danson over there.

1830
01:23:20,246 --> 01:23:22,581
Ooh.
I like that Ted Danson.

1831
01:23:22,790 --> 01:23:24,417
This could work.
This could really work.

1832
01:23:24,625 --> 01:23:25,876
Wait.

1833
01:23:26,085 --> 01:23:27,420
Hang on, everybody.
Hold up.

1834
01:23:27,628 --> 01:23:30,047
Anything that I get
is just gonna go to Goff-Nuts

1835
01:23:30,256 --> 01:23:32,466
or CN Holdings
because of the lawsuit.

1836
01:23:34,051 --> 01:23:36,345
This money should really go
to save the town.

1837
01:23:36,554 --> 01:23:39,765
I wish those corporate eggheads
were here right now.

1838
01:23:39,974 --> 01:23:41,267
We could launch a countersuit.

1839
01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:44,228
Right. But we didn't do so well last
time we went to court.

1840
01:23:44,937 --> 01:23:48,357
But you might do better
in the court of public opinion.

1841
01:23:48,566 --> 01:23:49,358
I don't follow you.

1842
01:23:49,567 --> 01:23:52,361
No offense, but the Quaintest Contest is
a lousy assignment.

1843
01:23:52,570 --> 01:23:55,448
But this?
This is pure gold.

1844
01:23:55,656 --> 01:23:56,532
Do me a favor.

1845
01:23:56,741 --> 01:23:59,452
Everyone squish in and smile.

1846
01:23:59,660 --> 01:24:01,370
Except you.
Try to look confused.

1847
01:24:01,579 --> 01:24:03,372
- Well, why are we...
- Perfect!

1848
01:24:05,583 --> 01:24:07,460
So we just dropped everything?

1849
01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:09,920
The lawsuit?
The plans for the depot?

1850
01:24:10,129 --> 01:24:11,970
We had to. It would have been
a P.R. nightmare,

1851
01:24:12,089 --> 01:24:13,799
steamrolling the quaintest town in
Canada.

1852
01:24:14,008 --> 01:24:16,719
But they weren't named
the quaintest town in Canada.

1853
01:24:16,927 --> 01:24:18,929
No, but they were mentioned.

1854
01:24:29,857 --> 01:24:33,444
Well, I guess any press
is good press.

1855
01:24:33,652 --> 01:24:35,696
I don't know.
Did you see the Howler headline?

1856
01:24:39,700 --> 01:24:41,786
That "dirty ho"
kind of stings a bit.

1857
01:24:41,994 --> 01:24:43,579
You know what really stings?

1858
01:24:43,788 --> 01:24:47,083
The fact those Wullerton weirdos
bailed us out

1859
01:24:47,291 --> 01:24:49,168
by doing all that fundraising for Dog
River.

1860
01:24:49,376 --> 01:24:52,129
Yeah, I know. Choir recitals, lemonade
stands.

1861
01:24:52,338 --> 01:24:54,465
Those self-serving bastards.

1862
01:24:54,673 --> 01:24:56,759
The important thing is that, um...

1863
01:24:56,967 --> 01:24:59,970
you apologized, and I accepted.

1864
01:25:00,179 --> 01:25:02,056
Neither of those things happened.

1865
01:25:02,264 --> 01:25:03,307
<i>Oh.</i>

1866
01:25:03,516 --> 01:25:05,196
How about I buy you lunch,
we call it even?

1867
01:25:06,435 --> 01:25:07,603
Eh.

1868
01:25:10,731 --> 01:25:12,316
Hey, don't be cheap!

1869
01:25:14,693 --> 01:25:17,321
You better not have checked
any boxes on your new contract.

1870
01:25:17,530 --> 01:25:18,823
No.

1871
01:25:19,031 --> 01:25:21,200
I circled a few things, though.
That okay?

1872
01:25:21,408 --> 01:25:24,703
Guess we'll see in 25 years, rookie.

1873
01:25:24,912 --> 01:25:27,498
- More bursary applications? -Nope.
Cruises.

1874
01:25:27,706 --> 01:25:30,084
Tanner's grades weren't good enough to
get into university.

1875
01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:31,335
- Oh.
- Oh, well.

1876
01:25:31,544 --> 01:25:33,754
He got a job up north,
and he's making so much money

1877
01:25:33,963 --> 01:25:36,757
that he is sending me
on a vacation.

1878
01:25:36,966 --> 01:25:39,051
- Wow!
- Good kid.

1879
01:25:39,260 --> 01:25:41,220
Thick as a walnut.

1880
01:25:45,391 --> 01:25:47,768
So, you're not upset
you sold the bar?

1881
01:25:47,977 --> 01:25:49,728
I'm anything but upset.

1882
01:25:49,937 --> 01:25:52,648
Thank you, by the way, for your great
idea of selling shares.

1883
01:25:52,857 --> 01:25:53,697
You're welcome.

1884
01:25:53,858 --> 01:25:55,860
Hey, do I get a hug
for my great idea?

1885
01:25:56,861 --> 01:25:58,487
I suppose you've earned it.

1886
01:26:17,214 --> 01:26:18,048
What?

1887
01:26:19,550 --> 01:26:21,135
They did a...

1888
01:26:21,343 --> 01:26:22,553
lippy-kissy thing.

1889
01:26:23,262 --> 01:26:24,138
Brent...

1890
01:26:24,346 --> 01:26:27,683
you just kissed
an actual human female.

1891
01:26:27,892 --> 01:26:29,101
She likes you!

1892
01:26:29,310 --> 01:26:31,604
Ask her out, you jackass!

1893
01:26:34,356 --> 01:26:37,526
Yeah, I did ask her out,
like two years ago.

1894
01:26:40,863 --> 01:26:44,158
I said yes,
if this still isn't clear.

1895
01:26:44,366 --> 01:26:46,577
You guys have been a couple
for two years?

1896
01:26:46,785 --> 01:26:48,579
How can you not know this?!

1897
01:26:48,787 --> 01:26:50,039
We go to the bar together.

1898
01:26:50,247 --> 01:26:51,967
We go to movies together, shopping
together.

1899
01:26:52,124 --> 01:26:54,627
So much for everyone
knowing everyone's business.

1900
01:26:54,835 --> 01:26:56,754
Oh, my God.

1901
01:26:56,962 --> 01:26:59,215
This is incredible news!

1902
01:26:59,423 --> 01:27:02,384
I can finally
have grandchildren!

1903
01:27:02,593 --> 01:27:06,096
Oh. No, we've discussed it.
We're not gonna have kids.

1904
01:27:10,267 --> 01:27:11,685
I'm not sharing my comic books

1905
01:27:11,894 --> 01:27:14,104
with some grubby
little jam-hands.

1906
01:27:14,313 --> 01:27:16,398
Son of a...

1907
01:27:27,952 --> 01:27:31,872
I don't know the same things
you don't know

1908
01:27:35,292 --> 01:27:37,169
I don't know

1909
01:27:37,378 --> 01:27:39,546
I just don't know

1910
01:27:42,758 --> 01:27:46,971
And I forget
the same things you forget

1911
01:27:50,391 --> 01:27:54,812
But you predict what surely hasn't
happened yet

1912
01:27:57,648 --> 01:27:59,733
Ooh, ooh, ooh

1913
01:27:59,942 --> 01:28:02,861
It's a great big place

1914
01:28:03,612 --> 01:28:06,949
Full of nothing but space

1915
01:28:07,157 --> 01:28:09,410
And it's my happy place

1916
01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:12,496
I was pretty focused on trying to save
the Ruby and Dog River.

1917
01:28:13,706 --> 01:28:16,542
Oh, somebody's got to put something in
the tip jar.

1918
01:28:16,750 --> 01:28:17,835
Whose bag is that?

1919
01:28:18,043 --> 01:28:19,253
I don't know what that is.

1920
01:28:19,461 --> 01:28:21,714
- Whose bag could that be?
- God.

1921
01:28:22,548 --> 01:28:24,008
How embarrassing.

1922
01:28:25,843 --> 01:28:27,511
Welcome to the '90s.

1923
01:28:28,554 --> 01:28:30,014
Everybody say hi to my mom.

1924
01:28:30,222 --> 01:28:31,765
- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Mom!

1925
01:28:31,974 --> 01:28:34,810
I'm shooting, and I should've had my
phone off, Mama.

1926
01:28:35,019 --> 01:28:36,979
- They're filming it.
- She just cost me 28 grand!

1927
01:28:37,146 --> 01:28:38,105
I love you.

1928
01:28:38,314 --> 01:28:40,816
Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs,
take one.

1929
01:28:41,692 --> 01:28:43,485
Oh, that was very good.
I like that one.

1930
01:28:43,694 --> 01:28:45,654
Chicken for beef, take five.

1931
01:28:45,863 --> 01:28:48,073
Chicken for chicken, take two.

1932
01:28:48,282 --> 01:28:49,283
The last...

1933
01:28:49,491 --> 01:28:50,576
That looks great.

1934
01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:08,135
Okay, here we go.

1935
01:29:08,344 --> 01:29:11,930
You can tell me
that your dog ran away

1936
01:29:12,139 --> 01:29:15,267
Then you tell me
that it took three days

1937
01:29:15,476 --> 01:29:17,394
I've heard every joke

1938
01:29:17,603 --> 01:29:21,148
I've heard every word
you're saying

1939
01:29:21,357 --> 01:29:24,860
You think
there's not a lot goin' on

1940
01:29:25,069 --> 01:29:28,489
Look closer, baby,
you're so wrong

1941
01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:32,326
And that's why
you can stay so long

1942
01:29:32,534 --> 01:29:38,457
Where there's not a lot
goin' on

1943
01:29:38,665 --> 01:29:40,042
Yeah!

1944
01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:42,920
Haaaa!

1945
01:29:43,128 --> 01:29:44,421
Bluah! Bluah!

1946
01:29:44,630 --> 01:29:47,049
Eeuah!

1947
01:29:47,257 --> 01:29:49,301
112, take 6.

1948
01:29:49,510 --> 01:29:51,136
- Wow.
- We're  terrible.

1949
01:29:52,930 --> 01:29:54,306
- Holy crap!
- Whoa!

1950
01:29:54,515 --> 01:29:56,183
- Hang... Hang on!
- Whoa!

1951
01:29:56,392 --> 01:29:58,685
Whoa. Ah.

1952
01:29:59,853 --> 01:30:01,438
That's just acting, kids.

1953
01:30:03,023 --> 01:30:04,900
Karen! Hi!

1954
01:30:05,109 --> 01:30:06,944
You know,
that just threw me off.

1955
01:30:07,152 --> 01:30:08,672
I'm gonna...
Sorry. I'll be right back.

1956
01:30:10,531 --> 01:30:14,034
You can tell me
that your dog ran away

1957
01:30:14,243 --> 01:30:17,579
Then you tell me
that it took three days

1958
01:30:17,788 --> 01:30:19,581
I've heard every joke

1959
01:30:19,790 --> 01:30:23,335
I've heard every word
you're saying

1960
01:30:23,544 --> 01:30:26,964
You think
there's not a lot goin' on

1961
01:30:27,172 --> 01:30:30,843
But look closer, baby,
you're so wrong

1962
01:30:31,051 --> 01:30:34,680
And that's why
you can stay so long

1963
01:30:34,888 --> 01:30:39,101
Where there's not a lot
goin' on

1964
01:30:39,435 --> 01:30:40,436
Action!

1965
01:30:40,644 --> 01:30:42,855
Oh, for the love of Pete!

1966
01:30:43,063 --> 01:30:44,189
WHOOPS!

1967
01:30:44,398 --> 01:30:46,483
Oh, it was you.
Well, good.

1968
01:30:46,692 --> 01:30:49,570
It's about time somebody
called one of these things.

1969
01:30:50,487 --> 01:30:52,823
No? Just kidding. Okay.
We'll start over. Sorry.

1970
01:30:53,532 --> 01:30:56,410
You're doing great, buddy.
You are making my career.

1971
01:30:56,618 --> 01:30:58,328
This horse is making my career.

1972
01:30:58,537 --> 01:31:00,330
Gentlemen, start your wagers!

1973
01:31:00,539 --> 01:31:03,000
Oh! It's... Oh!
Pbht!

1974
01:31:03,876 --> 01:31:05,752
Gentlemen, start your wages!

1975
01:31:05,961 --> 01:31:08,130
No! God!
I'll be back.

1976
01:31:08,338 --> 01:31:09,298
Action!

1977
01:32:06,188 --> 01:32:09,483
You can tell me
that your dog ran away

1978
01:32:09,691 --> 01:32:13,111
Then you tell me
that it took three days

1979
01:32:13,320 --> 01:32:14,947
I've heard every joke

1980
01:32:15,155 --> 01:32:18,450
I've heard every word
you're saying

1981
01:32:18,659 --> 01:32:22,120
You think
there's not a lot goin' on

1982
01:32:22,329 --> 01:32:25,999
But look closer, baby,
you're so wrong

1983
01:32:27,584 --> 01:32:30,754
I roll my eyes back
into my happy place

1984
01:32:30,963 --> 01:32:34,007
I'm always gonna need
this sense of space

1985
01:32:34,216 --> 01:32:37,761
And in the amber wave
under a rolling cloud

1986
01:32:37,970 --> 01:32:41,974
I can't hear what you say
'cause you're talking so loud

1987
01:32:42,182 --> 01:32:45,435
How many times
you gonna get me wrong?

1988
01:32:45,644 --> 01:32:47,688
Yeah, yeah, yeah

1989
01:32:47,896 --> 01:32:51,233
You think
there's not a lot goin' on

1990
01:32:51,441 --> 01:32:54,820
Well, look closer, baby,
you're so wrong

1991
01:32:55,028 --> 01:32:58,615
And that's why
you can stay so long

1992
01:32:58,824 --> 01:33:02,911
Where there's not a lot
goin' on

1993
01:33:03,120 --> 01:33:05,497
I'll tell you
what happened to Phil.

1994
01:33:06,248 --> 01:33:07,416
Er.

1995
01:33:08,166 --> 01:33:10,419
I'll tell you
what happened to Phil.

1996
01:33:11,295 --> 01:33:13,505
I'll tell you
what happened to Phil.

1997
01:33:15,757 --> 01:33:18,051
I'll tell you
what happened to Phil.

1998
01:33:19,845 --> 01:33:20,596
Need a lighter.

1999
01:33:20,804 --> 01:33:22,973
I'll tell you
what happened to Phil.

2000
01:33:26,268 --> 01:33:28,687
I'll tell you
what happened to Phil.

2001
01:33:31,231 --> 01:33:32,941
Really, I will.

2002
01:33:33,150 --> 01:33:34,985
I'll tell you
what happened to Phil.

2003
01:33:35,193 --> 01:33:36,778
You better believe it

2004
01:33:36,987 --> 01:33:40,407
Under a sky that's always wrapped around
you

2005
01:33:44,536 --> 01:33:47,664
You could get lightning on you

2006
01:33:47,873 --> 01:33:49,583
Strikes twice

2007
01:33:49,791 --> 01:33:51,001
You better believe it

2008
01:33:51,209 --> 01:33:54,630
Under a sky that's always wrapped around
you

2009
01:33:54,838 --> 01:33:56,715
Good luck

2010
01:33:56,923 --> 01:33:58,383
You know you're gonna need it

2011
01:33:58,592 --> 01:34:01,720
With the rain,
you could get lightning on you

2012
01:34:01,928 --> 01:34:03,930
Strikes twice

2013
01:34:04,139 --> 01:34:05,349
You better believe it

2014
01:34:05,557 --> 01:34:08,852
Under a sky that's always wrapped around
you

2015
01:34:09,061 --> 01:34:10,604
Good luck

2016
01:34:10,812 --> 01:34:14,358
You think
there's not a lot goin' on

2017
01:34:14,483 --> 01:34:17,736
You think
there's not a lot goin' on

2018
01:34:17,861 --> 01:34:21,740
You think
there's not a lot goin' on