2 00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:29,232 Yeah! 3 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,900 We did it, man! 4 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,655 -Be safe. -You got it, man. 5 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,365 -Have a great trip. -Yeah. 6 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,659 When I'm done with probation, I'm gonna come find you. 7 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,577 I know you will. 8 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,540 All right, I'm out of here. 9 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,085 One last thing. 10 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,546 -Remember this? -My Indy compass. 11 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,589 -In case you get lost. -Where'd you get this? 12 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,591 -And you will get lost. -Yeah, I will get lost. 13 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,968 But it's half the fun. 14 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,970 -Thanks, man. -Be good. 15 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,890 -Take care of those two fools. -Have fun. 16 00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,851 I will. 17 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,936 Catch you around, boys! 18 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:11,816 Bye, Billy! 19 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,404 I wonder where he's gonna end up. 20 00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,698 He's gonna do great things. 21 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,159 Don't worry. We're all gonna do great things. 22 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:29,375 -Are you ready for Tom? -I'm ready for Tom! 23 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,169 -Let's ride! -Come on, baby! 24 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,256 Yeah! 25 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,218 Angie! What was that? 26 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,554 Shit. I think it's Tony. 27 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:42,972 -Tony? -Get your clothes on! 28 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:47,018 -What happened to "Tony's in China"? -This is bad. Get your clothes on... 29 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,271 Hey, Tony. 30 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,857 You're home early, baby. 31 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,651 -Tony? -What the hell's going on here? 32 00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,781 Tony, there's enough of me to go around. 33 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:04,285 I'm thinking about a Tom sandwich. Light on the Tom. 34 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:14,045 Jerry here has the reworked formula, so I'll pass the ball on to him. 35 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,671 You're on. 36 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,511 -Now? -Now. 37 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,015 Right. 38 00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,741 Baby! You're home. 39 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,284 Hey. 40 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,455 How was the surf? 41 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,248 Someone's happy to see me. 42 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:54,502 Well, why wouldn't I be? Especially tonight. 43 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:56,963 Wow. 44 00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:59,048 You outdid yourself. 45 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,760 Just seemed like the right night to outdo oneself, so... 46 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,471 A Thursday? 47 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:08,474 Honey, don't you think every night should be special? 48 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:12,019 Yeah. Yes, every night should be special, this is true. 49 00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,646 But, really, 50 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:17,984 specifically, there's always one night a year that just seems right 51 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:21,070 for a celebration of a specific event. 52 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:25,324 -Do you know what I'm saying? -Absolutely. 53 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:26,993 I love dip. 54 00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,619 It's our anniversary! 55 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:32,581 Our first date! How many hints do I need to give you? 56 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,210 I must be crazy. 57 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,672 A trip? Great call. Where we going? 58 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:43,175 I won't do it. I won't play the role of nagging girlfriend anymore. 59 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:45,928 Would nagging wife make you happier? 60 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:52,018 Please tell me that was not you proposing to me. 61 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,689 Jerry and Denise cannot get to the phone right now, 62 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,774 because we're doing it! 63 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,319 Jerry, it's Mom. If you're there, will you please pick up? 64 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,239 Hey, Mom. I can't really talk right now. 65 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:09,285 What? 66 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,760 Excuse me. Excuse me. 67 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:29,847 Excuse me, sir? Sir? Excuse me. You're in my spot. 68 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,683 I don't see your name on it. 69 00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:36,020 Well, actually, yes, my name is on it. See? Right there, Dr. Mott. 70 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,272 That's me. That's my space. 71 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,399 You got me. 72 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,152 But look at this, pal! 73 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,322 Now, your name's not on it! 74 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,656 Hey! What're you doing? Hey! Hey! 75 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:51,660 Hey, you get back. You get back. I'm not afraid to use this! 76 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,287 Hey, don't! 77 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,917 -Have a good day, Doc. -You, too. 78 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,555 I'm Dr. Mott! 79 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,402 Good morning, Sandi. TGIF. 80 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,154 What's that, Dr. Mott? 81 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,824 Thank goodness it's Friday. Happy Friday. 82 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,034 It's the weekend. Hurray. 83 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,870 Right. 84 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,376 "TGIF." 85 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:44,130 That was great. So smart. 86 00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,092 Why don't you just ask her out, you dumbass? 87 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,718 It's Jerry Conlaine. 88 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:52,555 -He says it's very important. -Okay. 89 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,308 -Hey, Jerry, how you doing? Long time. -Hey, Dan. 90 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:02,940 Listen. There was an accident. 91 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,276 Billy's dead. 92 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,363 -You're kidding. -Yeah, he... 93 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,991 He was para-surfing down in Costa Rica. 94 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:16,620 So the funeral's this weekend. It's... It's in Oregon. 95 00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,665 -Yeah... -I'm flying out in a couple of hours. 96 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:22,751 -Can you make it? -Yeah, I'll be there. 97 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,851 Dano! Hey. 98 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,312 -Hey, Jerry. -How's it going? 99 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,689 Man. 100 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,610 Oh, my God, is that Everest? 101 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,779 Yeah. You know Billy. He wasn't afraid of anything. 102 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,823 He did it all. 103 00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:54,950 Did you know he ran with the bulls? 104 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,535 He sent me a postcard from Spain. 105 00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,871 -Man, he did great things. -He did. 106 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,706 I still want you. 107 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,543 Why did you leave me? 108 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,253 Billy. 109 00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:10,216 Billy's dead and he's still got a better chance of getting laid than I do. 110 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:17,306 "Leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 111 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,184 "I walk through the valley of the shadow..." 112 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,310 What is that? 113 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,686 Tom's here. 114 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:26,315 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear..." 115 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,117 Is this Billy's funeral? 116 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:41,330 Is that the corpse of Billy Newwood? 117 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,208 Jer, is that you? 118 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,921 You're with Dan? 119 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,548 -Where did you guys park? -Tom! 120 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,635 Okay. Sorry. 121 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,013 There was a hell of a fender-bender coming in, and... 122 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,598 -Please continue. -I-5 was a parking lot. 123 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,016 -I'm so sorry. -Anyway, I made it. 124 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,269 "Then the earth shook and trembled." 125 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,311 Sorry, Padre. 126 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,521 "The foundations moved and were shaken..." 127 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,897 My bad. Missed an exit. 128 00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,899 "...because he was wroth. 129 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:16,031 "He bowed the heavens also, and came down: and darkness was..." 130 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,994 Did you notice how many hot chicks were at that funeral? 131 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:24,039 No kidding! It was like a discotheque with a coffin in the middle. 132 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,750 -Look at that. -Holy... 133 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,961 Fort Cooper. Can you believe it? 134 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,838 God, I remember it being taller. 135 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:32,131 Wow. 136 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,970 There it is. 137 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,556 Race you to the top! 138 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,814 -Dano, come on up, buddy! -Come on, Dan. 139 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,567 You guys are hammered! I'm not climbing up a 20-year-old rope. 140 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,319 -That's crazy. -Tommy, catch. 141 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,905 This whole thing seems a little insane for us to be doing, 142 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,575 climbing with the possibility of... 143 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:05,331 -You all right, Dano? -Come on, Dano, grab it. 144 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,416 -Give me the rope. -Come on, Dan! 145 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,045 Use your tippy-toes. There you go. 146 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,130 Cobweb. Look out. 147 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:19,136 -Oh, my God. -How small is that door? 148 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,596 Kind of seems about the same, actually. 149 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,141 I hope I don't fall through the floor of this thing. 150 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:27,019 Hey! What's up, B.A. Baracus? 151 00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:29,688 Mr. T. How awesome is that? 152 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:32,900 You guys. Oh, my gosh. 153 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:37,196 -Look at this. -Hey, that's our old flag. 154 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:41,116 -D.B. Cooper's treasure chest. -Man, look at that thing. 155 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,369 -You remember this? -Of course, yeah. 156 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,372 Cooper parachuted out of a plane up north with a bunch of stolen cash. 157 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:47,790 Gosh, we were obsessed with that. 158 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,541 -Nationwide police hunt and... -Right. 159 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,710 -He was never found. -Yeah, we were gonna sneak away, 160 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:54,880 go up the river, all Huck Finn, Apocalypse Now style. 161 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,924 Get the loot. 162 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,426 I bet you we spent half our childhood planning that trip. 163 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,178 It's all Billy ever talked about. 164 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,722 -Let's open it up. -We have to break the lock. 165 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,308 -I'll break it. -38-24-36. 166 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,436 -How do you know that? -How do you possibly remember that? 167 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:14,400 Miss 1981, Julie McDonald. 38-24-36. Unforgettable. 168 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:16,402 Had a passion for cycling. Disliked liars. 169 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,028 You're right. 170 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:21,073 -What the... -Do you believe it? 171 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,574 Man! Look at that. 172 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,410 The oath. 173 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:27,413 "We swear that these things will remain in this box 174 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,332 "until we find D.B. Cooper's treasure." 175 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:33,252 Signed, a bunch of kids. 176 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:36,171 Remember we pricked our fingers, took a blood oath? 177 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,299 Dan, what's that next to your signature? That's not blood. 178 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,219 It was earwax. I was afraid of needles. 179 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,223 Should we check out the priceless treasures of our youth? 180 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,142 -C-3PO. -C-3PO. 181 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:49,852 I wonder who put that in. 182 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,562 Let me see that. That's a collectible now. 183 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:54,398 -Yeah, right. -My Brian Bosworth rookie card. 184 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,150 -The Boz. -Man, I thought he was gonna be 185 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,901 the greatest ever. 186 00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,237 "I've been in that box a very long time." 187 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,656 Well, you're free now. 188 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,784 And, Tom, I believe this is your contribution. 189 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,619 Oh, my God. 190 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,832 That's my first rubber. Boy. 191 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:16,253 I found this in my dad's pickup right before he went to jail. 192 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,630 I remember he caught me with it. 193 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,133 Boy, he smacked me right in the head. 194 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,427 What a charming father-and-son tale. 195 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,012 He was funny. 196 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:28,807 -Hey, what did Billy put in there? -Yeah, what does he got? 197 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,684 His Indy compass. 198 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,687 I gave this to him before he took off on his trip. He must've... 199 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,105 I don't know, he must've put it back. 200 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:38,984 Look at this. It's one of our mix tapes. Remember we did the DJ intros? 201 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,736 Yeah, let's not Wang Chung tonight. Burn that. 202 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,655 Wow. You guys, check out this map. 203 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:46,492 -Looks like Billy left us a treasure map. -Look at that. 204 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,660 -Not only that... -This map looks new. 205 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,704 He plotted out the whole trip. 206 00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:54,750 Billy thought D.B. landed right here. There's no way he did this as a kid. 207 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,003 He must've been adding to the box over the years. 208 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:01,798 This is the camping trip he wanted us to take last summer. 209 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,843 I... I couldn't go. I was detained in Mexico. 210 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,888 And he wouldn't do it unless we were all together. 211 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:12,643 I swear to God, I think he figured it out. I mean, look at all this research. 212 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:16,480 He reconstructed the jump. He pinpointed D.B.'s landing. 213 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:18,023 That's crazy. 214 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,110 My God. 215 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:26,490 I'm sorry, you guys, we made an oath. 216 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,159 It all goes back in the box. 217 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:32,162 It all goes back in the box until we find the treasure. 218 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:36,750 So let's go find it. Let's... Let's take Billy's trip. 219 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:40,087 -Come on, guys, what do you say? -I say, "Hell, yes." 220 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,214 -Hell, yes! Right? -We'll get a canoe. 221 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,549 -Right? -No. 222 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:46,385 No. No, I'm... 223 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,095 -No. -We're all going. 224 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,430 -Listen, I wanna get a lot of rope. -A rope's good. 225 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,100 All right, I know you guys won't grasp this concept, 226 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,394 but I have patients and... 227 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,520 Yeah, yeah. I have a Rambo knife. 228 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,730 I am a doctor now. 229 00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,066 I am Dr. Mott now! 230 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,820 I have responsibilities. 231 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:11,660 Your responsibility is to come treasure hunting with us. 232 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,580 We're 30. 233 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,790 I mean, this might be the last chance we have to do something 234 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,084 incredibly stupid together. 235 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,629 I agree. 236 00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,674 For Billy, Dano. 237 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,220 -Not fair. -I think it's fair. 238 00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,638 All right. 239 00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:34,308 Time to re-up on our oath, boys. Fingers up. 240 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,435 -Hey, put that away. Tom... -I love the way you work. 241 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:40,689 -You know who I'm talking to. -There's no way I'm going. No chance! 242 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,234 No! You guys, no! Hey. Let go of me! 243 00:15:44,319 --> 00:15:45,444 Hey! No, no. 244 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,862 No! 245 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,907 I hate you guys. 246 00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,285 We hate you, too, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. 247 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,162 Hey! Hey! I agreed to come. You said I could drive. 248 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,080 We drive by my rules. No kissing me. 249 00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:00,208 I cannot believe that Billy kept the Duke in running shape all these years. 250 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,294 318 V8, man. They're bullet proof. 251 00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,172 How about a little Fort Cooper classic? 252 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,425 This is Rocking Billy Newwood. I'm here with fellow DJ's. 253 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,510 -Jazzy Jerry. -Yeah! 254 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:11,678 Gonzo Tommy. 255 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,263 -Yeah! -Yeah! 256 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,932 -And Disco Dan. -Burn, baby, burn! 257 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:19,269 And we have a special dedication by Dan's mom, entitled, 258 00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,313 "I've had sex with Tom." 259 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,440 I totally did, though. 260 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:33,450 And usually, it's too late when you 261 00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:34,660 Do you know the words? 262 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,870 Realize what you have 263 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,750 And my mind goes back To a girl I left 264 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,710 Some years ago 265 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,837 Who told me 266 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:49,675 Just hold on loosely 267 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,260 But don't let go 268 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:57,099 The boys together, the open road. Good tunes, good times. 269 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,518 Good God! Let's pull off memory highway. 270 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:01,770 ...always on Till the break of dawn 271 00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,856 C-O-M-P-T-O-N And the city they call Long Beach 272 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,191 Putting that shit together 273 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,610 And if it's good enough To take 'em off a proper chunk 274 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,862 I'll take a small piece of some of that funky stuff 275 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,864 -It's like this and like that... -...like that... 276 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:16,034 -How do you know all these words? -He's a doctor. 277 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,912 Doctors study other doctors' work. 278 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,248 -You're a secret Dr. Dre fan. -God. 279 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:22,791 -It's like this and like that -Like this 280 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,460 -and like that... -...and like that... 281 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:34,678 -Well, this is a metropolis. Look at this. -This place is very remote. 282 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,431 I wish I would've brought my dancing shoes so we could go clubbing. 283 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,391 Maybe we should find out where the nearest hospital is. 284 00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,768 Let's stay at The Ritz. This is great. 285 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,023 -How are you? -Hi. 286 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,367 Where are we? 287 00:17:57,452 --> 00:18:01,538 Corner of Bumfuck and You Got a Purty Mouth. 288 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,582 Hey, I'm gonna make a call. 289 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,334 Wait, Jerry, you should use my new cell phone. 290 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,670 It's a satellite phone, so it works everywhere. 291 00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,381 And it's got a camera and it's got an address book and, listen, 292 00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:13,550 -it's even got a personalized ring. -Nice. 293 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,511 You shouldn't be proud of that, Dan. 294 00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:17,804 -Thanks. -You're welcome. 295 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,264 Well, 296 00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:22,267 I'm gonna go check out the canoe situation. 297 00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:25,353 -You want anything? -Good luck. No, I'm good. 298 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,440 Hello? 299 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,859 Denise. What are you doing home? Hey. 300 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:33,236 Hi. Is everything all right? 301 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,030 You know. 302 00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:37,699 -It's as good as it can be. -Where are you? 303 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,286 On the road. 304 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,580 Good. You're on your way home. What time do you get in? 305 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,706 I can't wait to see you. 306 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,541 What you looking at, boy? 307 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:51,129 Here's the thing, the guys and I... We're going on a treasure hunt. 308 00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:55,008 And I know that sounds dumb, but it's something that we have to do 309 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,092 for Billy. 310 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,304 That doesn't sound dumb at all. I completely understand. 311 00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,599 -You do? -Just call me when you get a chance. 312 00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:05,811 But I might be out of the house for a bit. Yeah, because 313 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:09,231 my girlfriends and I, we're gonna go on a search for the lost city of Atlantis. 314 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,067 Maybe my treasure will help buy your submarine. 315 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,319 -Maybe. Maybe it will. -Take a picture. 316 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,779 -Hold on. -I'm on the little guy's back. 317 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,031 -Shut up. -Go, take a picture. 318 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,199 That's good. That's good. 319 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,911 Hello? 320 00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,249 That did not sound like it went well. 321 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:32,671 Hiya, boys. Nice day. Just passing through? 322 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,925 No. We're actually from UPS. 323 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:40,178 Looks like someone ordered a set of teeth. 324 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:43,932 -I beg your pardon? -Taser guns. Dropping them off. 325 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,686 -Anyways... -So, help me out here, boys. 326 00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,479 Where was it you said you was headed? 327 00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:52,566 We're just taking a trip. Our old friend, Billy, he made this map... 328 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,568 Quiet time. Quiet. 329 00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:59,489 We're just taking a day trip up Spirit River, Your Honour. 330 00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,491 Pretty thick country up there. 331 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,869 You make a couple mistakes up there, you gone. 332 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,538 You know what, I think we'll be okay. I was a Boy Scout. 333 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,540 Tom, you were a Boy Scout, weren't you? 334 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,084 No. But I ate a Brownie once. 335 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:16,089 You don't wanna play on the big river, boys. 336 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:19,634 -Oh, no, we're not playing, we're... -I got this. You listen to me. 337 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,720 I know a thing or two about rapid-riding 338 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:24,890 'cause I was a white-water guide in Northern California, NoCal. 339 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:28,393 Here's the thing. I know how to read a river better than you can read a book. 340 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,186 -Just a little better. -All right. 341 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:33,064 -All right. So we're gonna get going? -That's right. 342 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:36,318 -Yeah? Thank you, Sheriff. -See you, Ray-Bans. 343 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,628 You think we got enough booze, Tom? 344 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:57,756 Maybe you wanna hire a bartender to come on the trip with us. 345 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,592 What's a camping trip without beer? 346 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:04,095 Well, it's still a camping trip, actually, just with less vomiting. 347 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,056 I hear you're a river guide. 348 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,724 -Yeah. -Yeah. 349 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:09,768 Class IV, V? 350 00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:13,271 -Which is it? -Why don't you try putting 351 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:15,774 those numbers together? That's right. 352 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:18,944 I've shot a class 45, and I've never lost a man. 353 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,363 Lie to me. I don't care. 354 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,907 I'm not the one that's going to drown. 355 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,160 All right, fellas. Here we go. Attention. 356 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:31,623 We christen you Duke II. 357 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,545 Thanks for breaking glass where my kids play. 358 00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:40,632 Thanks, buddy. 359 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,801 There's a transmitter in the canoe. 360 00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:46,346 That way, if you guys disappear, at least we'll get our boat back. 361 00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:48,974 It's child's play, guy. We got it. 362 00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:51,601 -It's beautiful! -This is the best. 363 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:53,853 -I like it out here. -This is Spirit River! 364 00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:56,022 Get you out of the doctor's office, Dano. 365 00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:57,315 -It's good to be outside. -Yeah. 366 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,859 Get you away from that computer, Jer! 367 00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:09,077 -What kind of fish are those? -That's brown trout. 368 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,329 -That's big fish. -Brown trout? 369 00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,836 -Hey, look, a deer! Wow! -That's cool. 370 00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:20,422 Right out there in the open. 371 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:25,301 Hey... 372 00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:44,404 Cheers. 373 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:46,865 The great outdoors! 374 00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:50,535 -Tom! You guys are spraying me! -Give me a break, 375 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:51,703 -I'm writing your name! -Stop that! 376 00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:58,501 -Hey, don't, don't, don't! -What, are you gonna melt? 377 00:22:58,586 --> 00:23:01,129 No, but this water is teeming with microbes. 378 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:02,922 Stop. 379 00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:08,428 They don't let losers in a splash fight! 380 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:18,646 So this is Spirit River. We take that to Widowmaker Bend. 381 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,982 And then we hike the Devil's Staircase, 382 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,151 and that should lead us to the top of Hellfire Ridge. 383 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:27,030 What's with all these satanic names? Isn't there, like, a Fluffy Bunny Way? 384 00:23:27,114 --> 00:23:29,741 No, but there's a Shut Up You Big Baby Ridge. 385 00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,534 Okay, just keep your eyes open 386 00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:33,912 -for our first day's marker. -What's that? 387 00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:36,915 It's a rock formation called Grandpa's Nose. 388 00:23:36,999 --> 00:23:38,500 Grandpa's Nose. 389 00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:40,710 Looking for Grandpa's Nose. 390 00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:44,339 I think I see it! It's right there. 391 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,758 Good work, Dan. 392 00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:49,677 Prepare to port. I'm gonna drink some beer! 393 00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:52,680 I predict you'll be puking in that river before the end of the night, Tom. 394 00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:55,475 Dry timber. 395 00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:02,315 Hi there, coalminer's daughter. You want a hand? 396 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:05,610 Or you can always try these fancy new things called matches. 397 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:07,654 I saw how to do this on the Discovery Channel, okay? 398 00:24:07,738 --> 00:24:10,156 And I'm gonna do it. I got it covered. 399 00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:14,202 Oxygen in there... Get that right combination... 400 00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:24,712 Stop, drop and roll! 401 00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,259 Why would you do that? 402 00:24:29,343 --> 00:24:32,053 I'm with my face right next to the... And you blow... 403 00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:34,514 -Why would you do that? -It's warm. 404 00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,808 It's a nice fire. 405 00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:39,644 Hey. We did it. 406 00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:42,313 I told you. 407 00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:48,736 Do you really want to hurt me? 408 00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:53,449 Do you really wanna hear this crap? 409 00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:55,827 Please. You liked this song just as much as I did. 410 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:58,621 When we were kids, it didn't matter what the song was. 411 00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:01,499 We weren't wrapped up in what was cool and uncool. 412 00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:03,585 We just listened to the music. 413 00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:07,297 It should be like that now. Just listen to the song, man. 414 00:25:11,594 --> 00:25:14,345 Wow! This song is so uncool. 415 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:18,600 -Well, I like it. It soothes me. -Dan, what is wrong with you? 416 00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:21,644 I'm blessed with good taste. 417 00:25:21,729 --> 00:25:23,855 One day, you'll see I've always been correct. 418 00:25:23,939 --> 00:25:28,610 Don't get cocky, 30-year-old Dr. Mott with 46 years of school under his belt. 419 00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:32,071 Excuse me for getting an M.D. and starting a successful practice. 420 00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:34,532 Well, excuse me. I found a way to make 12 grand a month 421 00:25:34,617 --> 00:25:35,992 without having an M.D. 422 00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:37,911 Really? How do you do that? 423 00:25:37,995 --> 00:25:40,371 Yeah, what, are you running immigrants over the border again, coyote? 424 00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:42,707 Those guys fell asleep in my truck. 425 00:25:42,791 --> 00:25:46,544 I thought I'd just gotten shitfaced and bought a bunch of sombreros. 426 00:25:46,629 --> 00:25:49,547 I didn't know there were dudes underneath. 427 00:25:49,632 --> 00:25:51,466 For real, though? 428 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:56,471 Selling Harleys. It's the greatest gig on the planet. 429 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:58,640 Congrats. I'm happy for you. 430 00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:00,225 Seriously, though, you guys both sound 431 00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:02,685 -like you're doing great. -Aren't you? 432 00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:06,564 I just don't know if I'm cut out for the whole family-wife-kids thing. 433 00:26:06,649 --> 00:26:10,777 I would kill to have a woman at home willing to have sex with me every night. 434 00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:15,323 And at work, I just sit in my office and I think, 435 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:17,951 "There's gotta be something better out there." You know what I mean? 436 00:26:18,035 --> 00:26:21,329 -I thought you liked your job. -I like to surf. 437 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:26,417 Sitting out in the water. Waiting for that perfect wave. 438 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:33,549 And I also like being out here. I like this, right now. 439 00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:37,720 The first time in months, no worries, no responsibilities. 440 00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:39,889 Just living in the moment. 441 00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:43,518 Just like Billy did. 442 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:47,313 Hey. Here's to Billy. 443 00:26:47,398 --> 00:26:49,107 -To our dead friend. -Get them up. 444 00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:50,692 Tom. 445 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:54,445 Hey, Dano, what ever happened 446 00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:56,364 between you and Cockeyed Katie, anyway? 447 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,116 You know, I don't appreciate the name-calling. 448 00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,534 Katie was very attractive. 449 00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:01,828 It was a mutual separation. 450 00:27:01,912 --> 00:27:03,621 Yeah, between her eyes. 451 00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:06,499 That girl had not one, but two wandering eyes. 452 00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:09,919 It was like her eyes were trying to escape from her head. 453 00:27:10,004 --> 00:27:12,755 You know, Tom, I'm sorry she wasn't up to your high standard of women. 454 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,133 No tattoos below the waist, never worked as a carny. 455 00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:17,969 Name one girlfriend of mine who worked as a carny. 456 00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:21,055 Jo Jo, the one who had her downstairs pierced. 457 00:27:21,140 --> 00:27:22,932 Jo Jo. That's one. 458 00:27:23,017 --> 00:27:25,143 How do you know what she did with her downstairs? 459 00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:26,394 She had that website, 460 00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:29,647 -JoJosDownstairs.com. -That was a good one. 461 00:27:29,732 --> 00:27:31,816 All right, Dano, let's see what you packed us for dinner. 462 00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,986 -What is this, astronaut food? -No. It's a vitamin gel pack. 463 00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:36,321 It tastes like watermelon. It's very filling 464 00:27:36,405 --> 00:27:37,613 and it preserves well for camping. 465 00:27:37,698 --> 00:27:40,950 -It's leaking. -I'm not an astronaut. I'm an American. 466 00:27:41,035 --> 00:27:44,245 And there's fresh salmon in that river for the taking. 467 00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:47,749 -What? -I'm eating salmon tonight. 468 00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:50,335 That's a great idea, except we didn't bring any fishing gear. 469 00:27:50,419 --> 00:27:51,711 Don't need any. 470 00:27:53,380 --> 00:27:56,341 -We'll shine them. -That would kill a fish. 471 00:27:56,425 --> 00:27:59,677 Shine the fish, old Cherokee trick. 472 00:27:59,762 --> 00:28:02,597 Yeah, I forgot the Cherokee had been using the flashlight 473 00:28:02,681 --> 00:28:03,931 for thousands of years. 474 00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:05,933 No, didn't they pioneer the D battery? 475 00:28:06,018 --> 00:28:07,560 All right, suckers. 476 00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:10,688 Let's see who's eating salmon tonight and who's eating crow. 477 00:28:10,773 --> 00:28:12,774 Why, do you have a crow-catching trick, too? 478 00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:17,278 Yuk it up, astronauts. They love figure eights. 479 00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,655 Hey, 100 grand and my left nut says 480 00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:22,158 the only thing you catch out there is a cold. 481 00:28:22,242 --> 00:28:24,535 Got it! Grab it! 482 00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,455 What are you doing? 483 00:28:28,082 --> 00:28:30,041 -Fantastic. -Can you do that again? 484 00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:33,086 You owe me 100 grand and the left nut. 485 00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:34,545 Are you gonna catch it when I throw it up? 486 00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:36,506 -Yeah, yeah! -Yeah, yeah, come on! 487 00:28:36,590 --> 00:28:40,426 I'm gonna have to use a distinct pattern now. They got used to the figure eight. 488 00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:45,473 It's gonna be tough, but I'll focus. 489 00:28:46,809 --> 00:28:47,975 What the hell are you doing? 490 00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:51,771 I toss it, you grab it. That's your part of the deal. 491 00:28:53,315 --> 00:28:54,816 What? 492 00:28:57,820 --> 00:29:00,196 -What are you doing? -I'm taking off my shoes. 493 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,990 -Why? -Because I run faster with no shoes. 494 00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:06,452 -You can't outrun that bear. -I don't have to outrun the bear. 495 00:29:06,537 --> 00:29:08,246 I just have to outrun you. 496 00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:09,747 Stay calm. 497 00:29:09,832 --> 00:29:13,084 It's important that you don't let them smell your fear. 498 00:29:13,168 --> 00:29:16,170 -Just follow my lead. -What are you gonna do? 499 00:29:18,549 --> 00:29:21,467 It's a bear! We're all gonna die! 500 00:29:21,552 --> 00:29:23,177 Run! 501 00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:24,262 It's too fast! 502 00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:26,305 Go! 503 00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:28,433 Faster! 504 00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:30,518 Keep going! 505 00:29:43,157 --> 00:29:44,449 Get out! 506 00:29:44,533 --> 00:29:46,534 -Go away! Go! -Get out! 507 00:29:50,706 --> 00:29:53,666 -Stay calm. Get in the foetal position. -God. 508 00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:56,461 It won't bother you if you're in the foetal position. 509 00:29:56,545 --> 00:29:57,837 Jer! 510 00:30:03,677 --> 00:30:07,054 -Nothing's gonna happen now. -Is he gone? Is he gone? 511 00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,307 Abort the foetal position! It's not working! 512 00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:10,850 -It's not working! -Run! 513 00:30:10,934 --> 00:30:12,560 No... 514 00:30:15,689 --> 00:30:17,940 The bear thinks Dan's her cub. 515 00:30:26,909 --> 00:30:28,743 What do we do now? 516 00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:38,211 Stay... Stay down. Don't... Don't make eye contact. 517 00:30:40,005 --> 00:30:42,256 -Help me! -Let's go. 518 00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:44,592 This is bad. This is really bad. Do something. 519 00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:47,011 -Go first. -No, you go first. 520 00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:53,100 What... 521 00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:55,645 Hey. Where's the bear? 522 00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:13,120 He's trying to fatten Dan up so they can hibernate together. 523 00:31:20,796 --> 00:31:23,214 Chew it up and eat it. 524 00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:25,800 Eat it. 525 00:31:35,102 --> 00:31:37,436 -Stop pretending. -Dan, you have to eat it. 526 00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:39,939 You have to actually eat it. 527 00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:42,441 -Okay. -Bite. 528 00:31:44,111 --> 00:31:45,570 Eat it. 529 00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,752 It's delicious. Very good, thank you. 530 00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:03,921 Is there another one? 531 00:32:06,508 --> 00:32:09,927 That was good. That was real good. 532 00:32:12,681 --> 00:32:14,724 -Let's go. -Okay. 533 00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:21,564 -Move, move, move! -Up the tree. 534 00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:22,857 Go! 535 00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:30,531 -Your mom misses you. -She's in my stuff. 536 00:32:31,241 --> 00:32:34,619 Hey, that's my phone. She ate my phone. 537 00:32:36,038 --> 00:32:38,998 How long do you think she'll keep looking for me? 538 00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:41,417 Hour, hour and a half, tops. 539 00:32:41,501 --> 00:32:45,087 Bears have very short attention spans. I know a guy who trains them. 540 00:32:45,172 --> 00:32:46,172 Okay. 541 00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:04,482 What was that? 542 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,571 I don't know, but it scared away our friend. Let's get out of here. 543 00:33:11,657 --> 00:33:14,575 What do you think could happen if this thing went off right in the boat? 544 00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,827 -You think we'd die? -I think you throw it right now. 545 00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:18,788 What if I toss it to you and then you throw it? 546 00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:20,956 Elwood, throw it! 547 00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:24,001 -Yeah! -Yeah! 548 00:33:24,086 --> 00:33:26,754 -Cue the insane hillbillies. -What are these freaks doing? 549 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:27,922 They're fishing. 550 00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,341 Why aren't they using their flashlights, Tom? 551 00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:32,176 -Yeah! -Yeah! 552 00:33:32,260 --> 00:33:33,511 This is exactly what you hear about 553 00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,846 when people go into the deep woods in the middle of summertime. 554 00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:37,807 Aside from getting all sorts of diseases and things, 555 00:33:37,891 --> 00:33:40,851 they just wind up being the victims of some kind of unexpected man-rape. 556 00:33:40,936 --> 00:33:43,104 How you like me now, boy? 557 00:33:43,188 --> 00:33:46,399 -I don't like this... -Quiet. Go, go. 558 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,986 She ate everything. Including my very expensive cell phone. 559 00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:54,532 All right, let's load up. There's treasure in them hills. 560 00:33:54,616 --> 00:33:57,076 Wait a minute, you're not actually considering continuing, are you? 561 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,953 -Why not? -Well, because I just... 562 00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:02,873 I got carried away by a bear. And then we spent the night sleeping in a tree. 563 00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:06,711 Well, we got that out of the way. Now we can get back on the river. 564 00:34:06,795 --> 00:34:09,046 There comes a time in every cub's life 565 00:34:09,131 --> 00:34:11,966 when he needs to strike out and make it on his own. 566 00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,175 Fine. 567 00:34:13,260 --> 00:34:17,054 Fine. But I say we avoid them and we launch around the bend there, okay? 568 00:34:17,139 --> 00:34:19,807 All right, all right. Heave-ho. 569 00:34:21,143 --> 00:34:24,520 They call this portage. Or "portage." 570 00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:29,066 -What's the map say, Jerry? -You know, it's a map. 571 00:34:29,151 --> 00:34:31,986 It's gonna be... It's gonna be good. 572 00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:35,072 Jer, isn't the river supposed to fork? 573 00:34:35,157 --> 00:34:38,701 No. It just goes straight the whole way. Straight shot. 574 00:34:38,785 --> 00:34:40,119 Are you sure? 575 00:34:40,203 --> 00:34:42,788 We are back in business, boys. 576 00:34:45,292 --> 00:34:49,170 All right. Let's rudder back. Bring the tail out. 577 00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:56,427 -It's getting kind of rough, Tom. -Not bad, I've been in much worse. 578 00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:58,971 Really? 579 00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:01,265 Not a good time to read a map, Jer. 580 00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:05,227 Guys, I wanna pull over. I need to take some Dramamine... 581 00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:08,022 I got the stern. Work the bow, work the bow, Jer. 582 00:35:08,106 --> 00:35:10,483 Guys, let's pull over. 583 00:35:10,567 --> 00:35:13,611 This is exactly what you'd expect. We're doing great. 584 00:35:13,695 --> 00:35:16,155 Tom, guide us to the bank. 585 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:19,074 -Watch the current. -Trees! Trees left! 586 00:35:24,122 --> 00:35:26,123 No problem. That's typical river behaviour. 587 00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:29,585 -Rocks! Rocks! Keep rowing! -Tom, you're not guiding us right! 588 00:35:29,669 --> 00:35:31,796 I'm not having the fun you promised me! 589 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,631 Just keep rowing! 590 00:35:38,678 --> 00:35:40,262 -Follow my lead! -Terrible! 591 00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:42,431 Same stroke, same stroke! 592 00:35:42,516 --> 00:35:43,974 -Tom? -Yes? 593 00:35:44,059 --> 00:35:46,185 -It's getting big. -No problem. 594 00:35:46,269 --> 00:35:48,020 Like, real big. 595 00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:51,816 -I'm in over my head! -What? 596 00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:53,859 -Don't tell me that! -I'm in over my head! 597 00:35:53,944 --> 00:35:55,319 Please don't tell me that! 598 00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:58,113 Forward! No, backstroke! Backstroke! 599 00:36:00,075 --> 00:36:01,992 Come on! 600 00:36:10,752 --> 00:36:12,169 Dano! 601 00:36:12,254 --> 00:36:13,546 Tom! 602 00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:15,673 Help! 603 00:36:19,427 --> 00:36:21,929 Jerry! Help! 604 00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:26,433 -Dan! I'm coming! -Do you see me? 605 00:36:26,518 --> 00:36:28,894 -Dan! -Jerry! 606 00:36:28,979 --> 00:36:31,438 -Dano! -Throw it! Jer! 607 00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:33,107 Catch the rope! 608 00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,235 I got you! Dano! 609 00:36:42,450 --> 00:36:44,743 -Dan, come on, baby, I got you. -Hypothermia! 610 00:36:44,828 --> 00:36:47,496 -I'm gonna get hypothermia! -Come on! 611 00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:52,126 You all right? Hold on. 612 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,712 -Tom! Tommy! -Tom! 613 00:36:54,796 --> 00:36:56,630 In here, boys! 614 00:37:01,428 --> 00:37:03,095 We made it! 615 00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:06,056 That's how you go down the rapids! 616 00:37:06,141 --> 00:37:08,142 -All right, get in. -Get up. 617 00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:14,523 -I about shit. Did you about shit? -I about shit. 618 00:37:14,608 --> 00:37:16,442 -I did shit. -Oh, shit. 619 00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:19,403 -Oh, shit? What "oh, shit"? -What? What, what? 620 00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:24,325 -Oh, shit! -Oh, shit! 621 00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:35,836 I don't believe this. 622 00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:40,883 Tom, 623 00:37:40,967 --> 00:37:43,928 -where were you a river guide? -San Dimas. 624 00:37:44,012 --> 00:37:46,180 -Raging Waters? -Yeah. 625 00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:47,681 They had some serious rapids there, man. 626 00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:50,976 -What, class toddler? -Hey, I was employee of the month 627 00:37:51,061 --> 00:37:52,561 at the Monsoon Lagoon. 628 00:37:52,646 --> 00:37:54,063 -I knew you were lying. -Great. 629 00:37:54,147 --> 00:37:55,856 -You did? -I knew it. 630 00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:58,567 Well, you're the reason that we had to launch the boat 631 00:37:58,652 --> 00:37:59,693 in the wrong part of the river. 632 00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:02,029 Hey, I am not the navigator-map guy. 633 00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:05,240 Okay, Jerry, didn't you see on the map that the river split? 634 00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:09,328 I would've, if your friend, the big-ass bear, didn't eat the map. 635 00:38:09,412 --> 00:38:11,372 Hold on a sec. Tom? 636 00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:12,998 Were you really employee of the month? 637 00:38:13,083 --> 00:38:16,543 No. I lied about that, too. 638 00:38:16,628 --> 00:38:19,296 I must have been crazy. I... 639 00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:23,133 All right. This trip is officially over. This is finished! Let's... 640 00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:26,387 -Let's just go home. -I agree. That's a great decision. 641 00:38:26,471 --> 00:38:29,640 All we gotta do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, 642 00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:32,393 swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone, 643 00:38:32,477 --> 00:38:35,521 he liked us, I remember, and he'll send out a rescue boat. And... 644 00:38:35,605 --> 00:38:38,816 Hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool. 645 00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:41,026 Look at this, it's cold. 646 00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:44,822 We are in serious trouble, my friends. 647 00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:47,658 All data points to us being... How do you humans say it? 648 00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,201 Completely screwed? 649 00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:52,121 Yeah. You know, that is... That's a good way to say it. 650 00:38:52,205 --> 00:38:53,998 I mean, it pretty much sums it up. 651 00:38:54,082 --> 00:38:55,582 I suspect Tom is drunk. 652 00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:57,167 I didn't wanna say anything because 653 00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:58,335 -he's such a live wire... -You guys, we're fine. 654 00:38:58,420 --> 00:39:01,171 We got the compass. I've got Billy's compass! 655 00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:04,341 -Look, that's east, west, north. -East... 656 00:39:04,426 --> 00:39:06,343 -That's south. -That's south! That's south! 657 00:39:06,428 --> 00:39:07,970 That's great! 658 00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:10,347 -What? -Sorry. 659 00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:12,224 It only works with the map. 660 00:39:12,434 --> 00:39:14,643 So you're saying you lost the map? You don't have it? 661 00:39:14,728 --> 00:39:16,687 No. I'm saying I forgot to hold on to it 662 00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:19,857 while my ass was free-falling over a 100-foot waterfall. 663 00:39:19,941 --> 00:39:21,817 So you don't have it? 664 00:39:23,611 --> 00:39:25,612 Hey, do you hear that? 665 00:39:26,114 --> 00:39:29,158 -Hell, yeah. -Hey, that sounds like Creed. 666 00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:33,120 I never thought I'd be happy to hear anything that sounds like Creed. 667 00:39:37,125 --> 00:39:38,667 Lights. 668 00:39:41,463 --> 00:39:43,881 Thank you, God. Civilization. 669 00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,716 -Look at that. -They have a fire. 670 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,636 -You think they're cooking food? -I hope so. I am starving. 671 00:39:54,684 --> 00:39:57,728 -Damn it, Elwood. This blade is dull. -Ain't my fault. 672 00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:01,607 -See how I popped off that fish head? -What is it? 673 00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:03,734 I told you not to use my Buck knife. 674 00:40:03,818 --> 00:40:06,278 How you like me now, fish? 675 00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:09,323 You ain't so tough without a head, huh? 676 00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,784 What's that? You can't hear me? 677 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:13,577 That's right, 'cause you don't have ears, 678 00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:16,580 'cause you don't have a head, 'cause I cut it off! 679 00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:21,043 Okay, that's... I mean, that's a little weird, right? 680 00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:24,671 -We should get out of here. -Listen, I say we just try talking... 681 00:40:25,507 --> 00:40:26,882 Shut it. 682 00:40:27,509 --> 00:40:29,426 What the hell was that? 683 00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:34,056 -Is that a gun? -That's a gun. 684 00:40:49,322 --> 00:40:51,323 Must've been a possum. 685 00:40:51,407 --> 00:40:53,283 Boll weevil. 686 00:40:54,119 --> 00:40:58,122 -Guns and fish heads... -It's okay, Dano, relax. 687 00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:01,792 We'll just lay low. We'll get out of here in a second. 688 00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:03,418 -Hey. -Yeah? 689 00:41:03,503 --> 00:41:07,589 -These guys are pot farmers. -What? How do you know that? 690 00:41:13,721 --> 00:41:15,848 Oh, boy. We should go. 691 00:41:18,268 --> 00:41:20,561 Lynyrd. Skynyrd. Come here. 692 00:41:26,192 --> 00:41:28,360 Don't you go spoil them dogs. 693 00:41:28,444 --> 00:41:31,071 Lots of vitamins in these fish heads. 694 00:41:31,781 --> 00:41:35,534 Look at that. Skynyrd likes fish heads almost as much as you do. 695 00:41:35,618 --> 00:41:37,494 Do you think they saw us? 696 00:41:37,579 --> 00:41:39,746 No, I don't. 697 00:41:44,169 --> 00:41:46,003 -What are you doing? -What? 698 00:41:46,087 --> 00:41:47,880 I'll write you a prescription. Let's go. 699 00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:49,798 -Come on. -All right. 700 00:41:59,100 --> 00:42:00,893 On my go. Ready? 701 00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,942 Go, go, back here. Come on. 702 00:42:12,572 --> 00:42:16,325 Hey, guys. Listen. We don't want any trouble. 703 00:42:16,409 --> 00:42:19,870 We just got lost on the river, you know? 704 00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:22,873 -Hey, can we use your phone? -Of course. 705 00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:24,958 And... Who cares, you know? 706 00:42:31,799 --> 00:42:35,177 -Let's go through there. -Where? There's no door. 707 00:42:39,224 --> 00:42:42,309 -Lynyrd, Skynyrd! Get them! -Come on, Dano. 708 00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:45,771 -Good work, buddy. -Thanks. 709 00:42:45,855 --> 00:42:48,148 -Let's go. -Come on, Dano. 710 00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:50,734 Come on! 711 00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:52,694 Go, go, go! This way! 712 00:42:58,660 --> 00:43:00,077 What did you do? 713 00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:02,663 Flares! Why are there flares? 714 00:43:04,624 --> 00:43:07,000 Great mother of ganja. 715 00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:09,753 Come on! I see them! I got them! 716 00:43:09,837 --> 00:43:12,714 -Hey, boys, come back here. -We ain't gonna hurt you, boys! 717 00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:16,593 -We just wanna talk to you. -There they are. Right there! 718 00:43:16,678 --> 00:43:20,013 Damn it, you head to the left, and I'll cut them off. 719 00:43:21,057 --> 00:43:23,058 -Go, go, go! -They're shooting! 720 00:43:23,893 --> 00:43:26,228 I think I got them, Dennis! 721 00:43:26,771 --> 00:43:28,605 They're shooting at us! Run! 722 00:43:29,274 --> 00:43:31,900 Come on, Dennis, I'm gonna get them! 723 00:43:32,527 --> 00:43:33,527 Just keep going! 724 00:43:40,702 --> 00:43:43,036 Damn it! I can't see nothing through this smoke! 725 00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:45,914 -We're dead. We're dead! -We're dead! 726 00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:50,711 -We're dead! -They're gonna... They're gonna... 727 00:43:55,425 --> 00:43:56,842 We're gonna die! 728 00:43:58,761 --> 00:44:01,513 You set the security flares too close, Elwood. 729 00:44:01,597 --> 00:44:03,682 The whole damn field's on fire. 730 00:44:03,766 --> 00:44:06,393 Where the hell are the damn dogs? 731 00:44:09,314 --> 00:44:10,314 You guys gotta promise me that 732 00:44:10,398 --> 00:44:11,940 you'll never tell my patients that I got stoned, 733 00:44:12,025 --> 00:44:14,818 because if they found out I got stoned, they'll think that I'm a stoner. 734 00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:16,903 The next thing you know, I won't have a license anymore. 735 00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:19,823 And they'll take away all my instruments and my coat and my office, 736 00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:21,992 and I won't have a parking space anymore. 737 00:44:22,076 --> 00:44:25,370 I just don't wanna lose all my stuff. I lost my legs... 738 00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:34,504 Great. We got us a couple of weed freaks. 739 00:44:34,589 --> 00:44:37,132 What the hell are they looking at? 740 00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:40,052 Get up, you stoner dogs! 741 00:44:42,055 --> 00:44:43,513 Get up. Get up. 742 00:44:43,598 --> 00:44:46,183 You gotta move your legs. Move your legs. 743 00:44:46,851 --> 00:44:48,852 I think I see them. 744 00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:51,438 They got laser scopes. They had you pinned. 745 00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:53,398 Dudes. 746 00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:56,777 Dudes, dudes. Seriously. Seriously. 747 00:44:57,362 --> 00:45:01,907 I will give you four cows for Denise's hand in marriage. 748 00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:06,620 I'll give them something to laugh about. 749 00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:21,968 Matrix. 750 00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:26,515 My back. 751 00:45:26,599 --> 00:45:28,183 Cut them off at the river. 752 00:45:28,267 --> 00:45:30,227 Jerry, Jerry. 753 00:45:31,312 --> 00:45:33,939 Billy! Jesus, Billy! 754 00:45:34,816 --> 00:45:37,734 -I miss you. -You gonna find D.B.'s treasure? 755 00:45:37,819 --> 00:45:39,861 I'm just trying to make it out of here alive. 756 00:45:39,946 --> 00:45:43,865 Don't give up. Keep looking. Hey, is it cool to be a grown-up? 757 00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:45,367 Not really, my man. 758 00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:48,078 Stop! Stop! You're gonna run into... 759 00:45:53,209 --> 00:45:54,835 We can't outrun them. We gotta hide. 760 00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:57,212 -Quick, hide. -How? How? 761 00:45:57,296 --> 00:45:58,880 Let's get them! 762 00:46:02,468 --> 00:46:06,138 Man, our whole crop is burning! Those assholes are dead! 763 00:46:06,514 --> 00:46:08,598 And the bodies that are attached to them are dead, too! 764 00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:10,809 Dead! D-E-A-D! Dead! 765 00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:14,729 -Assholes! A-S-S-H-O... -Stop spelling! 766 00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:17,607 -Come on, you're dead! -We're gonna get you! 767 00:46:17,692 --> 00:46:21,695 -You can only run so far! -And you can never hide! 768 00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:39,171 -Bullfrogs. -I hate bullfrogs. They're nasty. 769 00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:44,551 Don't waste the ammo. 770 00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:48,013 Come on, they must've headed up towards the river. 771 00:46:55,730 --> 00:46:58,732 -It crawled straight in my stomach. -Let's go. 772 00:46:58,816 --> 00:47:01,735 I think it laid its eggs in my stomach. 773 00:47:09,822 --> 00:47:11,155 You think they're still following us? 774 00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:14,534 I don't wanna stop and find out. Just keep going. 775 00:47:15,661 --> 00:47:19,080 It's not all burnt. I think we're gonna be okay. 776 00:47:19,164 --> 00:47:20,498 -You think? -Yeah. 777 00:47:20,583 --> 00:47:22,667 -You think? -Yeah. 778 00:47:23,627 --> 00:47:28,214 Damn it. It's all burnt. Now, I knew it, Dennis. It's all burnt. Every bit. 779 00:47:28,299 --> 00:47:29,757 -They burned it. -Oh, yeah. 780 00:47:29,842 --> 00:47:31,259 -Believe it. -It's all burnt. 781 00:47:31,343 --> 00:47:34,929 The whole damn field is burnt. But we got a bigger problem, Elwood! 782 00:47:35,014 --> 00:47:38,099 We got three bona fide yuppies out there, 783 00:47:38,183 --> 00:47:41,019 lost somewhere, and we gotta track them. 784 00:47:41,103 --> 00:47:43,980 We gotta catch them and we gotta kill them. 785 00:47:44,648 --> 00:47:48,526 I think we can slow down. I haven't heard dogs or guns for hours. 786 00:47:48,611 --> 00:47:51,195 Yeah? You slow down, get a stick of dynamite up your ass. 787 00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,407 Calm down, Daniel, we're gonna be all right. 788 00:47:54,491 --> 00:47:58,119 No, we're not, Jerry. We could really die out here. 789 00:47:58,203 --> 00:48:00,455 Man, I can't believe that I would listen to you guys. 790 00:48:00,539 --> 00:48:02,790 "Let's go take Billy's trip. 791 00:48:02,875 --> 00:48:05,627 "Let's... Let's find D.B.'s treasure. 792 00:48:05,711 --> 00:48:07,712 "I'll get a canoe. I'll get some rope." 793 00:48:07,796 --> 00:48:09,922 -Is he all right? -"It's gonna be great." 794 00:48:10,007 --> 00:48:13,343 -"We'll find D.B.'s treasure!" Right! -Is he having a panic attack? 795 00:48:13,427 --> 00:48:14,552 -I don't know. -That's great. Make jokes. 796 00:48:14,637 --> 00:48:16,304 That's a really good idea. 797 00:48:16,388 --> 00:48:18,514 Is this living in the moment enough for you, Jerry? 798 00:48:18,599 --> 00:48:21,351 Is this the carefree life with no responsibility that you wanted? 799 00:48:21,435 --> 00:48:25,605 Is this the... Is this the great wilderness adventure that you were dreaming of? 800 00:48:25,689 --> 00:48:28,775 How should I be, Dr. Dan? Tell me. 801 00:48:28,859 --> 00:48:30,777 -Be afraid. -I am afraid. 802 00:48:30,861 --> 00:48:34,489 Well, then, act like it! It is very confusing to people in your life 803 00:48:34,573 --> 00:48:36,532 when you don't act the way that you're feeling! 804 00:48:36,617 --> 00:48:38,576 And no wonder Denise is fed up with you. 805 00:48:38,661 --> 00:48:40,995 -What did you say? -Don't you step to me. 806 00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:42,789 -Take it easy. -Put your hands down. 807 00:48:42,873 --> 00:48:44,040 You take it easy. 808 00:48:44,124 --> 00:48:45,917 Mr. Joe Tattoo, Mr. Motorcycle Man, 809 00:48:46,001 --> 00:48:49,379 -Mr. Super-Cool, Mr. Bullet Wound... -Oh, you're gonna start with me now? 810 00:48:49,463 --> 00:48:53,257 -Oh, my... Tom, you got shot. -Oh, cool. 811 00:48:53,342 --> 00:48:55,551 -He got shot? -Yeah. Come here. 812 00:48:56,512 --> 00:48:58,346 -Are you all right? -You could lose a roll of pennies 813 00:48:58,430 --> 00:49:00,014 in that thing. Look at how deep it is. 814 00:49:00,099 --> 00:49:02,475 Yeah, it just grazed you, though. You're really lucky. 815 00:49:02,559 --> 00:49:05,019 Oh, wow, that's gonna be a great scar. 816 00:49:05,104 --> 00:49:06,938 I'm gonna stitch it up good. 817 00:49:23,747 --> 00:49:25,081 Lose the cleaver. 818 00:49:25,165 --> 00:49:27,250 Meat cleaver's my favourite. 819 00:49:27,334 --> 00:49:29,877 It's scary, but ultimately ineffective. Lose it. 820 00:49:29,962 --> 00:49:33,005 Now, Dennis, you don't understand... 821 00:49:33,090 --> 00:49:35,466 Them three boys get back to town, 822 00:49:35,551 --> 00:49:39,387 you're gonna spend the next 40 years in the can getting manhandled. 823 00:49:39,471 --> 00:49:41,556 Quit messing around. 824 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,307 Lose the cleaver. 825 00:49:46,270 --> 00:49:48,062 I love the cleaver. 826 00:49:49,732 --> 00:49:52,108 You'll be good as new. Sorry. 827 00:49:54,319 --> 00:49:55,695 Hey, Dano. 828 00:49:56,822 --> 00:49:58,614 I'm sorry I got you into this. 829 00:49:58,699 --> 00:50:01,576 -I really am. -Jerry, I wanted to come. 830 00:50:01,660 --> 00:50:04,579 Well, we're getting out of it. I promise. And when we do, 831 00:50:04,663 --> 00:50:06,080 someone's buying the first round. Not it. 832 00:50:06,165 --> 00:50:08,082 -Not it. -Tom, I think you're buying 833 00:50:08,167 --> 00:50:12,920 with all that Harley money. Oh, God, it's making me sick. 834 00:50:13,005 --> 00:50:14,547 I'm sorry, I... 835 00:50:15,841 --> 00:50:17,508 That whole thing was an exaggeration. 836 00:50:17,593 --> 00:50:21,137 -What, you don't make that much? -No, I don't sell Harleys. 837 00:50:21,221 --> 00:50:25,558 In fact, the only thing I've sold lately is some clothes and CD's. 838 00:50:25,642 --> 00:50:27,226 They weren't even mine. 839 00:50:27,311 --> 00:50:30,146 Tom, that's not an exaggeration, that's a lie. 840 00:50:30,230 --> 00:50:33,065 -You know, you lie a lot. -I know. 841 00:50:33,150 --> 00:50:35,026 What happened? 842 00:50:35,110 --> 00:50:39,113 Well, first it was blackjack. Then the cards went south. 843 00:50:39,198 --> 00:50:42,283 So then I started betting football and baseball. 844 00:50:42,367 --> 00:50:44,076 I lost everything. 845 00:50:44,161 --> 00:50:46,662 What'd I expect? I got no luck, Jerry. 846 00:50:46,747 --> 00:50:50,291 I mean, it's like my old man used to say, "Family curse. 847 00:50:50,375 --> 00:50:52,627 "If we didn't have bad luck, we wouldn't have luck at all." 848 00:50:52,711 --> 00:50:55,004 You have got to stop blaming your old man. 849 00:50:55,088 --> 00:50:56,339 I'm not blaming anyone. 850 00:50:56,423 --> 00:50:58,591 Yeah, you are. Listen to yourself. "The family curse." 851 00:50:58,675 --> 00:51:00,968 Yeah, it's real. I'm a great gambler. 852 00:51:01,053 --> 00:51:03,137 I will give you one thing, your dad was a piece of work. 853 00:51:03,222 --> 00:51:06,182 I mean, he had his own things going on. 854 00:51:06,266 --> 00:51:08,309 But if he did one thing right, 855 00:51:08,393 --> 00:51:11,187 it was not raising a complete idiot. You're not him, Tommy. 856 00:51:11,271 --> 00:51:13,856 You're a lot smarter, for one thing. 857 00:51:14,817 --> 00:51:16,275 Right, Dano? 858 00:51:19,905 --> 00:51:22,448 Well, I wouldn't say a lot smarter. 859 00:51:24,284 --> 00:51:28,329 Tom, you have a lot more going for you than you think you do. 860 00:51:28,413 --> 00:51:31,457 That's easy for you to say, Dano. You're a freaking doctor. 861 00:51:31,542 --> 00:51:35,461 I mean, you got a big old bank account, a ginormous house, 862 00:51:35,546 --> 00:51:37,213 -big, thick, red hair... -You know what? 863 00:51:37,297 --> 00:51:39,173 I wouldn't be so jealous of me if I were you. 864 00:51:39,258 --> 00:51:42,760 Every day I develop some new and exciting phobia. 865 00:51:42,845 --> 00:51:46,013 -You're exaggerating again. -I'm afraid of the dark, Jerry. 866 00:51:46,098 --> 00:51:48,641 So? There's a lot of people that are afraid of the dark. 867 00:51:48,725 --> 00:51:50,768 -I know a shitload. -I'm afraid of small spaces. 868 00:51:50,853 --> 00:51:52,770 Again, not that abnormal. 869 00:51:52,855 --> 00:51:55,439 -Cellophane. -Like Saran Wrap? 870 00:51:55,524 --> 00:51:57,692 -Yeah. -Yeah, you're alone on that one. 871 00:51:57,776 --> 00:52:00,278 See, I won't even keep it in the house anymore, because I'm 872 00:52:00,362 --> 00:52:03,948 afraid that somehow it'll get, like, draped over my head 873 00:52:04,032 --> 00:52:07,493 and stick to my mouth and nose and I'll suffocate. 874 00:52:07,578 --> 00:52:09,745 -How pathetic is that? -Very. 875 00:52:13,792 --> 00:52:16,168 Relax, you're almost through. 876 00:52:16,253 --> 00:52:20,006 There you go. Hey, would one of you guys grab my phone? My... 877 00:52:20,090 --> 00:52:21,632 That's a phone. 878 00:52:23,135 --> 00:52:25,011 -It's that way. -Phone! 879 00:52:25,846 --> 00:52:27,305 How did your phone get all the way up here? 880 00:52:27,389 --> 00:52:30,641 -Who cares? -That last thing I remember, it was... 881 00:52:32,811 --> 00:52:35,730 -Go, go, go! -That bear loves you, Dano! 882 00:52:36,815 --> 00:52:40,192 Whiskey Dick, this is Lightning Company. Come in, Whiskey Dick. 883 00:52:40,277 --> 00:52:45,323 We are on the move and loaded for bear. Come back, come back... 884 00:52:46,783 --> 00:52:48,993 -Why'd you stop? -Right there. 885 00:52:49,786 --> 00:52:51,162 Footprints. 886 00:52:53,332 --> 00:52:54,999 Oh, it's theirs. 887 00:52:56,043 --> 00:52:57,501 It's weird. 888 00:52:58,670 --> 00:53:01,631 Footprints with no people in them. 889 00:53:01,715 --> 00:53:03,341 I mean, 890 00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:05,718 it's like it's them, 891 00:53:06,178 --> 00:53:08,596 but it's not them, you know what I mean? 892 00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:10,348 Rarely. 893 00:53:10,432 --> 00:53:12,141 Get on your wheeler. 894 00:53:12,726 --> 00:53:15,978 Hold on a second, guys. You know what we should do? 895 00:53:16,063 --> 00:53:17,939 We're gonna climb the tree. 896 00:53:18,023 --> 00:53:18,981 All right, we'll climb the tree, 897 00:53:19,066 --> 00:53:21,609 we'll get a good look at the land, maybe we'll see a road 898 00:53:21,693 --> 00:53:22,944 or a way out of here. 899 00:53:23,028 --> 00:53:25,529 Yeah, I'll go. Give me a boost. 900 00:53:25,614 --> 00:53:28,491 Oh, hey, Tom, wait. You can use these. 901 00:53:28,575 --> 00:53:29,784 Thanks. 902 00:53:29,868 --> 00:53:31,869 Please, just be careful. 903 00:53:34,539 --> 00:53:36,791 Are you maintaining a safe distance back there? 904 00:53:36,875 --> 00:53:39,377 Yeah, two-second rule, I know. 905 00:53:40,754 --> 00:53:44,048 -Do you see anything? -Hey, guys! 906 00:53:44,132 --> 00:53:46,467 This is really cool! 907 00:53:46,551 --> 00:53:48,678 What is he doing up there? 908 00:53:48,762 --> 00:53:51,931 Tommy, you see a road? 909 00:53:52,015 --> 00:53:54,058 Any signs of life? 910 00:53:56,186 --> 00:53:57,979 Are you kidding me? 911 00:53:59,147 --> 00:54:00,398 Tommy? 912 00:54:01,024 --> 00:54:03,859 Tom, do you see anything or not? 913 00:54:08,407 --> 00:54:10,783 I think I might still be stoned. 914 00:54:15,747 --> 00:54:18,582 Hello? Excuse me, miss? 915 00:54:18,667 --> 00:54:21,711 -Ladies? -My name is Flower! 916 00:54:23,296 --> 00:54:25,673 You may call me Butterfly. 917 00:54:25,757 --> 00:54:27,466 And if you're from the logging company, 918 00:54:27,551 --> 00:54:30,052 you'll have to speak to our lawyers. 919 00:54:30,137 --> 00:54:32,680 If you look to your left, you can totally see her downstairs. 920 00:54:32,764 --> 00:54:34,265 What? 921 00:54:34,349 --> 00:54:37,476 We're not from the logging company. 922 00:54:37,561 --> 00:54:38,602 -Peace. -Peace. 923 00:54:38,687 --> 00:54:40,896 -Hey, peace. -Peace. 924 00:54:40,981 --> 00:54:44,108 -What's your name? -Jerry. Jerry Conlaine. 925 00:54:44,192 --> 00:54:46,360 And what's your forest name? 926 00:54:46,445 --> 00:54:49,447 Slug. His forest name is Slug. 927 00:54:50,365 --> 00:54:52,825 -I got you. -Thanks, Tom, thanks a lot. 928 00:54:52,909 --> 00:54:56,037 I'm sorry, Slug. We can't abandon our post. 929 00:54:56,121 --> 00:54:57,872 You understand. 930 00:54:57,956 --> 00:55:01,917 Well, could we come up there, then? Please? 931 00:55:02,002 --> 00:55:03,127 Come on up. 932 00:55:03,253 --> 00:55:06,547 So then we run straight into this freezing, like, water pond. 933 00:55:06,631 --> 00:55:09,550 We had to hide underwater, but we used these reeds. 934 00:55:09,634 --> 00:55:12,386 Reeds? Like pussy willow reeds? Really? 935 00:55:12,471 --> 00:55:13,471 Just like that. 936 00:55:13,555 --> 00:55:15,181 God, it must've been so hard to breathe. 937 00:55:15,265 --> 00:55:16,557 Yeah, yeah, it's been quite a trip. 938 00:55:16,641 --> 00:55:18,809 Do you guys have a cell phone that we could use? 939 00:55:18,894 --> 00:55:21,896 Sorry, Slug. Cell phones are bad for the environment 940 00:55:21,980 --> 00:55:23,898 and people who live in the environment. 941 00:55:23,982 --> 00:55:25,232 -Right. -You poor boys. 942 00:55:25,317 --> 00:55:27,693 You need to get out of those damp, dirty clothes. 943 00:55:27,778 --> 00:55:30,071 Here, let us wash them for you. 944 00:55:30,155 --> 00:55:32,698 -No, no. I'm fine. -Let us nurture you. 945 00:55:34,076 --> 00:55:35,326 No, no, no! 946 00:55:35,410 --> 00:55:36,577 Oh, boy! 947 00:55:37,245 --> 00:55:39,872 Mighty Oak could go for some nurturing. 948 00:55:40,165 --> 00:55:43,209 -Stay right there. -No. It's... 949 00:55:43,293 --> 00:55:45,503 Just relax, Condor. 950 00:55:45,712 --> 00:55:49,507 No, it's okay, honestly. I'm actually not really into being touched. 951 00:55:49,591 --> 00:55:53,094 I'm a doctor, you know, so I usually do the touching. 952 00:55:53,178 --> 00:55:56,555 Yeah. I've been told I give a very good calf massage. 953 00:55:56,640 --> 00:56:00,017 If you wanna roll down those stockings, I could give you one. 954 00:56:00,102 --> 00:56:02,394 -Stockings? -Leg warmers? 955 00:56:03,814 --> 00:56:05,439 I'm all-natural. 956 00:56:07,734 --> 00:56:09,318 Supernatural. 957 00:56:09,402 --> 00:56:15,116 -You guys live up here year-round? -We've been here 287 beautiful days. 958 00:56:16,243 --> 00:56:17,660 How do you guys get supplies? 959 00:56:17,744 --> 00:56:21,705 When we need supplies, we radio the Earth Child Support Network. 960 00:56:21,790 --> 00:56:23,374 Radio? 961 00:56:23,458 --> 00:56:25,626 You... You guys have a radio? 962 00:56:25,710 --> 00:56:29,338 Yeah. We haven't used it since that last big thunderstorm. 963 00:56:29,422 --> 00:56:30,965 Remember that, Flower? 964 00:56:31,049 --> 00:56:35,803 Oh, my God. That thunderstorm was so spiritual. 965 00:56:35,887 --> 00:56:40,474 Earth Child's limbs were just waving, heaving back and forth, 966 00:56:40,559 --> 00:56:44,979 like she was dancing in the rhythm to the thunder. It was just like... 967 00:56:49,526 --> 00:56:52,778 Full-on tantric orgasm. 968 00:56:52,863 --> 00:56:55,906 -So where's this radio? -Tree had an orgasm? 969 00:56:55,991 --> 00:56:57,032 You don't say. 970 00:56:57,117 --> 00:57:01,453 We danced naked in the storm all night. 971 00:57:01,538 --> 00:57:05,249 And then held each other, soaking wet, until the morning. 972 00:57:06,334 --> 00:57:10,212 The rain is like a drug. You know, it just makes you wanna... 973 00:57:11,631 --> 00:57:13,757 What? Makes you wanna what? 974 00:57:17,095 --> 00:57:18,971 Can we please use the radio? 975 00:57:19,055 --> 00:57:20,723 Sure thing, Slug. 976 00:57:22,225 --> 00:57:24,351 Wow. Monkey feet. 977 00:57:24,436 --> 00:57:26,770 Yeah. It's like a second pair of hands. 978 00:57:26,855 --> 00:57:29,773 Hello? Anyone out there? My name's Jerry Conlaine, 979 00:57:29,858 --> 00:57:33,027 and my two friends and I are lost in the woods. Hello? 980 00:57:33,111 --> 00:57:35,362 -You gotta say "Over." -Over. 981 00:57:35,447 --> 00:57:39,450 I read you, son. This is Breaker Station 22. 982 00:57:40,118 --> 00:57:43,454 -What is your position? Over. -See? He said, "Over." 983 00:57:44,331 --> 00:57:47,374 We are two miles east of Harold's Bluff 984 00:57:47,459 --> 00:57:51,795 in a giant redwood called Earth Child. Over. 985 00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:57,593 In a tree. We'll find you. We will give assistance and whatnot. 986 00:57:58,303 --> 00:58:00,387 Peace. Over. 987 00:58:00,472 --> 00:58:03,432 You just sit tight. We're coming to get you. 988 00:58:04,059 --> 00:58:05,184 Over and out! 989 00:58:07,437 --> 00:58:09,855 So we ran out of food in Borneo, so we just ended up 990 00:58:09,940 --> 00:58:13,192 eating our mosquito netting. Just salted it up, and it was good. 991 00:58:13,276 --> 00:58:14,276 It was really good. 992 00:58:14,569 --> 00:58:17,488 Oh, you messy thing. Let me get that. 993 00:58:18,615 --> 00:58:19,740 Thank you. 994 00:58:19,824 --> 00:58:22,576 Well, there's plenty more grubs here, Condor. 995 00:58:22,661 --> 00:58:25,663 Oh, no, I couldn't. That bark shot right through me. 996 00:58:25,747 --> 00:58:28,374 I need to visit the little trees' room. 997 00:58:28,458 --> 00:58:30,626 Where do you guys do the do? 998 00:58:31,002 --> 00:58:32,544 Top side of the tree. 999 00:58:33,004 --> 00:58:34,964 Got a real kick to it. 1000 00:58:36,341 --> 00:58:37,424 Wow! 1001 00:58:37,676 --> 00:58:41,262 Bag it when you're done. Put it in the basket up top. 1002 00:58:41,346 --> 00:58:43,555 If you bring it in, you take it out. 1003 00:58:43,640 --> 00:58:44,682 -Yeah. -Right? 1004 00:58:44,766 --> 00:58:46,850 Okay, will do. 1005 00:58:46,935 --> 00:58:48,644 Do you have any paper? 1006 00:58:50,021 --> 00:58:52,523 Oh, great. You know, 1007 00:58:52,607 --> 00:58:54,483 I think I'm gonna wait until we get to the ranger station. 1008 00:58:54,567 --> 00:58:56,694 Someone's here, someone's here. 1009 00:58:57,988 --> 00:59:01,448 -Afternoon, ladies. -Nice-looking tree. 1010 00:59:01,533 --> 00:59:03,325 End of the line, boys. Come on down. 1011 00:59:03,410 --> 00:59:04,451 -They're gonna kill Earth Child. -No! 1012 00:59:04,536 --> 00:59:07,955 No, they're not gonna kill Earth Child. They're after us. 1013 00:59:08,039 --> 00:59:10,040 We gotta get down and we gotta make a run for it, all right? 1014 00:59:10,125 --> 00:59:11,125 Let's go! 1015 00:59:12,502 --> 00:59:14,712 -No! -No! 1016 00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:17,214 Go to it, Elwood. 1017 00:59:17,632 --> 00:59:20,467 We're gonna die up here in this stupid tree. 1018 00:59:20,552 --> 00:59:24,138 You know, Condor, even if your bodily death is extraordinarily painful, 1019 00:59:24,222 --> 00:59:27,516 -your soul will live on. -Everything happens for a reason. 1020 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:30,811 Listen up, karma chameleons. Nobody's dying. 1021 00:59:30,895 --> 00:59:31,979 Here's the plan. 1022 00:59:32,063 --> 00:59:34,356 Send those boys down, pretty little birdies. 1023 00:59:34,441 --> 00:59:37,818 I'm gonna rappel down. And then I'm gonna secure the rope 1024 00:59:37,902 --> 00:59:40,863 and then I'm gonna distract them. You two slide down after me. All right? 1025 00:59:40,947 --> 00:59:42,323 -Okay. -Stop it! 1026 00:59:42,407 --> 00:59:44,241 Cut it down, Elwood. 1027 00:59:45,660 --> 00:59:48,162 Good plan, Jerry. One small change. 1028 00:59:48,246 --> 00:59:50,581 Time to find out whether I have the family curse or not. 1029 00:59:50,665 --> 00:59:52,458 -For me, Jer? For me? -Come on, boys! 1030 00:59:52,542 --> 00:59:54,251 Can't wait to see you again! 1031 00:59:54,336 --> 00:59:56,170 Yeah. Go, go, go. 1032 00:59:56,254 --> 00:59:57,629 Give them hell, Tommy. 1033 00:59:58,465 --> 01:00:02,468 This Hell-mart's open for business, and I'm slashing prices. 1034 01:00:02,969 --> 01:00:06,972 -Stop! -Come on, boys, don't be afraid. 1035 01:00:07,265 --> 01:00:08,515 We gotta cover him. 1036 01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:10,100 I have an idea. 1037 01:00:13,229 --> 01:00:15,272 You just send those boys down. 1038 01:00:15,357 --> 01:00:18,108 There won't be no more trouble for you, Earth-mama. 1039 01:00:18,193 --> 01:00:19,902 -Heavier than it looks. -Oh, good idea. 1040 01:00:19,986 --> 01:00:21,028 -Oh, yeah. -You've got it. 1041 01:00:21,112 --> 01:00:22,613 -Ready? -You got it. 1042 01:00:28,953 --> 01:00:31,121 -Oh, yes. -I'm hit. I'm hit. 1043 01:00:31,206 --> 01:00:32,456 It's doody, Dennis. 1044 01:00:32,540 --> 01:00:34,333 One, two, three. 1045 01:00:34,417 --> 01:00:36,377 Oh, shit. 1046 01:00:36,461 --> 01:00:37,878 Dano, let's go. 1047 01:00:37,962 --> 01:00:40,798 Get away from my tree! 1048 01:00:41,466 --> 01:00:43,550 -This is wrong. -Take that! 1049 01:00:43,635 --> 01:00:46,220 -Okay. -I can't do this, Jerry. 1050 01:00:46,304 --> 01:00:47,471 Okay. 1051 01:00:47,555 --> 01:00:48,806 Jamming up my gun barrel. 1052 01:00:48,890 --> 01:00:51,892 -This is not me. -You're a beautiful spirit. 1053 01:00:51,976 --> 01:00:54,895 Fly free and know that love follows you. 1054 01:00:58,691 --> 01:01:03,695 Thank you, kind, crazy, hairy lady of my dreams. 1055 01:01:06,199 --> 01:01:07,658 That was cute. 1056 01:01:08,785 --> 01:01:11,537 -Get off my tree! -Shoot her. 1057 01:01:11,621 --> 01:01:13,914 Filthy hippie! Shoot her again. 1058 01:01:13,998 --> 01:01:15,916 That is it! 1059 01:01:16,793 --> 01:01:19,628 -I don't wanna do this, Jerry. -Remember when we used to jump off 1060 01:01:19,712 --> 01:01:23,215 that railroad bridge into Cedar Lake? That was higher than this. 1061 01:01:23,299 --> 01:01:25,175 No, no. I never jumped off of there. 1062 01:01:25,260 --> 01:01:27,428 You guys always pushed me when I wasn't looking. 1063 01:01:27,512 --> 01:01:28,762 Oh, yeah. 1064 01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:33,684 Go! 1065 01:01:38,857 --> 01:01:40,274 -Hold on, Dan. -I made it. 1066 01:01:40,859 --> 01:01:43,277 What? Did I kill your grandma? 1067 01:01:43,361 --> 01:01:46,989 -I don't think so. -Where are they getting all this poo? 1068 01:01:50,493 --> 01:01:52,202 He's getting away on my wheeler! 1069 01:01:52,829 --> 01:01:55,372 -Get him, Elwood. -I'm gonna shoot him! 1070 01:02:06,342 --> 01:02:10,429 Come on, let's go. Get on, get on. Move, baby, move. Come on, Jer. 1071 01:02:12,807 --> 01:02:13,891 Go. Go. 1072 01:02:13,975 --> 01:02:16,101 -Hold on. -Come on, Dennis, we gotta move. 1073 01:02:16,186 --> 01:02:18,312 All right, I'm on. Go. Go. 1074 01:02:20,398 --> 01:02:21,899 Hold on, Dano. 1075 01:02:26,696 --> 01:02:28,572 Can't this thing go any faster? 1076 01:02:30,450 --> 01:02:32,826 Shoot the one driving! 1077 01:02:35,872 --> 01:02:37,164 What are you doing? 1078 01:02:37,248 --> 01:02:40,709 I'm pretending I'm on a speeder bike so I can block out reality. 1079 01:02:40,793 --> 01:02:42,794 It's my process. Leave me alone. 1080 01:02:52,931 --> 01:02:55,599 Over there. It looks like a clearing. 1081 01:02:55,683 --> 01:02:56,975 That way. 1082 01:02:58,186 --> 01:02:59,895 That way, that way, that way! 1083 01:03:14,202 --> 01:03:15,285 Damn it, Elwood. 1084 01:03:15,370 --> 01:03:17,871 I think I just swallowed my underpants. 1085 01:03:20,959 --> 01:03:22,125 Shoot them. 1086 01:03:23,795 --> 01:03:27,256 -I can't believe they survived that fall. -Dennis, they're getting away. 1087 01:03:27,340 --> 01:03:29,258 No, they're trapped like rats. 1088 01:03:29,342 --> 01:03:31,176 Only way they can go now is up the mountain. 1089 01:03:31,261 --> 01:03:34,221 We know right where they're headed. Let's go. 1090 01:03:40,228 --> 01:03:42,145 -Flat tire. -Damn it, Tom. 1091 01:03:43,273 --> 01:03:44,690 Keep moving. 1092 01:03:48,695 --> 01:03:50,529 Getting close, Elwood. 1093 01:03:58,538 --> 01:03:59,830 This way. 1094 01:04:04,002 --> 01:04:06,753 All right, that is it. I'm out. 1095 01:04:06,838 --> 01:04:08,297 I'm out. 1096 01:04:08,631 --> 01:04:09,840 I'm out. 1097 01:04:11,009 --> 01:04:15,053 I have spent the last, like, two hours within sniffing distance 1098 01:04:15,138 --> 01:04:21,393 of a sweaty ball sack and a sweaty ball sack, and I am out. I'm out. 1099 01:04:21,603 --> 01:04:23,103 What does that mean? 1100 01:04:23,771 --> 01:04:27,232 I think it means he's out. Like, coming out. 1101 01:04:27,317 --> 01:04:29,776 Like, he's finally admitted he's gay. 1102 01:04:30,278 --> 01:04:34,448 You know, I'm just gonna stay here until help comes. 1103 01:04:34,532 --> 01:04:37,451 I mean, this is serious. I lost my inhaler. 1104 01:04:37,535 --> 01:04:39,536 I've known you almost, what, 25 years now? 1105 01:04:39,621 --> 01:04:43,582 I've never seen you have even a hint of asthma, anything. 1106 01:04:43,666 --> 01:04:48,420 That's because I have the inhaler, Jerry. 1107 01:04:48,504 --> 01:04:52,549 No, I think Jerry's right, I think this whole thing's just in your head. 1108 01:04:52,634 --> 01:04:56,219 You just need to take a couple of real deep breaths and you'll get over it. 1109 01:04:56,304 --> 01:04:57,679 Okay, why didn't I think of that? 1110 01:04:57,764 --> 01:05:00,641 I'll just get over my chronic respiratory illness. 1111 01:05:00,725 --> 01:05:02,684 I'll just breathe. 1112 01:05:03,895 --> 01:05:05,771 There you go. I'm over it. 1113 01:05:05,855 --> 01:05:08,106 See? That wasn't that hard, was it? 1114 01:05:08,191 --> 01:05:10,651 You gotta relax, Dano. All right? 1115 01:05:10,735 --> 01:05:14,071 It's no time to give up hope. Let's just keep going. 1116 01:05:14,781 --> 01:05:18,283 No, actually, Jerry, I'm convinced that this is the perfect time to give up hope. 1117 01:05:18,368 --> 01:05:21,662 I don't know that there has ever been a better time to give up hope. 1118 01:05:21,746 --> 01:05:24,498 I mean, look at this. 1119 01:05:24,582 --> 01:05:28,251 Things are as bad as they could possibly get. 1120 01:05:35,802 --> 01:05:37,761 I stand corrected. 1121 01:05:43,101 --> 01:05:44,518 Elwood, what are you doing? 1122 01:05:44,602 --> 01:05:46,895 It's raining. It's raining. 1123 01:05:51,275 --> 01:05:54,820 Tom, man, get under here. You're gonna die of pneumonia. 1124 01:05:54,904 --> 01:05:57,447 No, but we will die of hypothermia. 1125 01:05:58,157 --> 01:06:01,284 Look, our only chance is to huddle together. 1126 01:06:01,369 --> 01:06:04,162 We gotta huddle our bodies together for warmth. 1127 01:06:04,247 --> 01:06:06,581 I, for one, choose death. 1128 01:06:06,666 --> 01:06:08,500 Interesting. 1129 01:06:08,584 --> 01:06:12,003 One minute you mock my sweaty ball sack 1130 01:06:12,839 --> 01:06:15,173 and now you wanna cuddle with it. 1131 01:06:15,258 --> 01:06:18,719 You know, the whole huddle-up thing, 1132 01:06:18,803 --> 01:06:22,180 it's the oldest trick in the book. I've used it. 1133 01:06:22,265 --> 01:06:25,642 -It's just for getting a girl naked. -Worked, though. 1134 01:06:26,310 --> 01:06:27,686 Every time. 1135 01:07:10,688 --> 01:07:12,814 This never leaves the cave. 1136 01:07:16,736 --> 01:07:18,445 I'm starting to feel warm. 1137 01:07:18,529 --> 01:07:20,947 See? I told you guys. 1138 01:07:21,032 --> 01:07:23,492 Let's just try and get some sleep. 1139 01:07:27,163 --> 01:07:28,538 Hey, Dano. 1140 01:07:29,665 --> 01:07:32,709 How hot were those chicks in the tree? 1141 01:07:34,212 --> 01:07:36,296 They were hairy but hot. 1142 01:07:36,380 --> 01:07:38,840 The rain, 1143 01:07:38,925 --> 01:07:41,468 dancing to the rhythm of the thunder, 1144 01:07:41,552 --> 01:07:46,306 full-on tantric orgasm, are you kidding me? Hey, didn't... 1145 01:07:46,390 --> 01:07:49,226 Didn't she kiss you once? 1146 01:07:49,310 --> 01:07:50,811 It was nice. 1147 01:07:50,895 --> 01:07:52,729 Oh, my God. 1148 01:07:52,814 --> 01:07:56,399 They are probably dancing naked right now. 1149 01:07:57,401 --> 01:07:59,194 Dancing. 1150 01:07:59,779 --> 01:08:03,448 Soaking wet. 1151 01:08:06,077 --> 01:08:07,077 Hey. 1152 01:08:08,329 --> 01:08:11,206 Hey! Oh, my God, Dano, how could you? 1153 01:08:11,290 --> 01:08:14,793 It wasn't me, it was Jerry. Jerry, why would you do that? 1154 01:08:14,877 --> 01:08:17,420 I'm sorry. My bad. I'm so sorry. 1155 01:08:17,505 --> 01:08:19,756 What happens in the cave, stays in the cave. 1156 01:08:19,841 --> 01:08:22,175 Oh, my God. That was your... 1157 01:08:22,260 --> 01:08:24,344 Come back to bed, you guys. I'm freezing. 1158 01:08:24,428 --> 01:08:26,304 Not till he puts Jabba back in his hut. 1159 01:08:26,389 --> 01:08:28,557 Freeze, perverts. 1160 01:08:35,356 --> 01:08:38,024 Wait, wait, wait, just... Please don't shoot us, okay? 1161 01:08:38,109 --> 01:08:39,734 This isn't what it looks like. 1162 01:08:39,819 --> 01:08:42,487 If you're gonna rape somebody, rape Dano. 1163 01:08:42,572 --> 01:08:44,281 Did I ask you to talk? 1164 01:08:44,365 --> 01:08:46,074 -No. -Come with me 1165 01:08:46,158 --> 01:08:48,743 or I'll shoot your testicles off 1166 01:08:48,828 --> 01:08:52,372 and stuff them and mount them on my mantelpiece. 1167 01:08:54,917 --> 01:08:56,751 That's gonna be an ugly mantelpiece. 1168 01:08:56,836 --> 01:09:00,171 -Go on. -That's it, come on. 1169 01:09:15,688 --> 01:09:17,105 What is it? 1170 01:09:19,233 --> 01:09:20,525 Cinnamon. 1171 01:09:22,820 --> 01:09:26,448 What the hell are you doing, collecting herbs for your goddamn herb garden? 1172 01:09:26,532 --> 01:09:30,577 Well, all the twigs are broken. They've been through here. 1173 01:09:30,661 --> 01:09:32,495 That they have. 1174 01:09:33,205 --> 01:09:35,206 -Nice place. -Get along. 1175 01:09:36,584 --> 01:09:39,169 -Build this yourself? -Open the door. 1176 01:09:41,213 --> 01:09:43,757 -Okay, I'm going. -That's it. 1177 01:09:43,841 --> 01:09:45,926 It's a lot warmer in here. 1178 01:09:58,731 --> 01:10:01,191 I think he's gonna try to cook us. 1179 01:10:05,363 --> 01:10:07,030 Where you going? 1180 01:10:11,869 --> 01:10:18,249 Oh, Susanna, don't you cry for me 1181 01:10:18,668 --> 01:10:20,877 If you're gonna kill us, just do it already, okay? 1182 01:10:20,962 --> 01:10:23,380 I am sick of waiting to die. 1183 01:10:23,464 --> 01:10:24,589 Okay. 1184 01:10:26,050 --> 01:10:27,801 -Was that reckless? -Yes. 1185 01:10:28,219 --> 01:10:31,554 If I was gonna kill you, I would have done it outside. 1186 01:10:31,639 --> 01:10:33,223 -Thank you. Thank you. -I agree. 1187 01:10:33,307 --> 01:10:35,475 -You're a very gracious man. -That's a good one. 1188 01:10:35,559 --> 01:10:37,644 Yes, with a happy ending. 1189 01:10:38,104 --> 01:10:39,229 D.B. 1190 01:10:41,899 --> 01:10:45,318 -What'd you call me? -D.B. The maps... 1191 01:10:46,028 --> 01:10:47,904 You are, aren't you? You're D.B. Cooper. 1192 01:10:48,072 --> 01:10:50,115 No, I ain't D.B. Cooper. 1193 01:10:51,701 --> 01:10:53,618 That's ancient history. 1194 01:10:55,121 --> 01:10:57,497 I tell you what's not ancient history, though. 1195 01:10:57,581 --> 01:11:03,253 It's three naked deviants on my mountain. 1196 01:11:03,754 --> 01:11:07,841 We were searching for D.B. And, yes, we're naked 1197 01:11:07,925 --> 01:11:11,928 and we're trespassing, but there's a perfectly good explanation. 1198 01:11:13,389 --> 01:11:17,350 First thing, I want you to put some clothes on. 1199 01:11:20,604 --> 01:11:23,648 And then I'd like to hear this story. 1200 01:11:24,275 --> 01:11:25,900 Thank you. Oh, thank you. 1201 01:11:25,985 --> 01:11:27,777 More of your own homemade fashions? 1202 01:11:27,862 --> 01:11:30,155 I wouldn't mind wearing one of these deer pelts up there. 1203 01:11:30,239 --> 01:11:31,865 I'd get dressed faster if I was you 1204 01:11:31,949 --> 01:11:34,367 because I've been alone in this cabin for 30 years. 1205 01:11:34,452 --> 01:11:35,618 -Oh, God. -Okay. 1206 01:11:35,870 --> 01:11:39,622 They would've come in here to escape the rain. 1207 01:11:41,792 --> 01:11:44,419 They laid down right here, Dennis. 1208 01:11:44,503 --> 01:11:45,712 Right here. 1209 01:11:45,796 --> 01:11:47,464 Lay down beside me. 1210 01:11:47,548 --> 01:11:49,966 In order to stalk your prey, 1211 01:11:50,092 --> 01:11:53,887 you gotta go where they go and do what they do. 1212 01:11:53,971 --> 01:11:56,556 Then a scuffle broke out, 1213 01:11:56,640 --> 01:11:58,558 and there were some harsh words exchanged, 1214 01:11:58,642 --> 01:12:02,520 and they beat that little one until he was limp. 1215 01:12:02,605 --> 01:12:04,230 Elwood, 1216 01:12:04,315 --> 01:12:05,940 I don't need to know what happened. 1217 01:12:06,025 --> 01:12:08,902 I just need to know which way they went. 1218 01:12:11,489 --> 01:12:14,949 Up-mountain. All right, let's get back to the wheeler. 1219 01:12:15,034 --> 01:12:16,785 I know a shortcut around Devil's Staircase. 1220 01:12:16,869 --> 01:12:19,329 We can still beat them to the summit. 1221 01:12:21,165 --> 01:12:24,834 And then you, you scared us with your testicle-mounting speech. 1222 01:12:24,960 --> 01:12:26,961 That just came right off the top of my head. 1223 01:12:27,046 --> 01:12:29,547 -It was very scary. -It was creepy, too. 1224 01:12:29,632 --> 01:12:33,384 May I ask you one question? Could you really see their downstairs? 1225 01:12:33,469 --> 01:12:37,097 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You could see everything. It was... 1226 01:12:37,181 --> 01:12:38,973 It was quite a view. 1227 01:12:40,226 --> 01:12:42,185 So, Del, 1228 01:12:42,937 --> 01:12:46,231 -were you D.B.'s partner? -And his best friend, too. 1229 01:12:47,733 --> 01:12:52,028 We've known each other ever since we were able to pee straight. 1230 01:12:52,113 --> 01:12:53,404 So... 1231 01:12:56,158 --> 01:12:58,743 -Is he still alive? -Hell, I don't know. 1232 01:12:58,828 --> 01:13:00,787 D.B. had this plan, see. 1233 01:13:01,539 --> 01:13:05,792 When he jumped out of the airplane, he was gonna land 1234 01:13:05,876 --> 01:13:10,046 three degrees northwest of Red Devil Ridge. 1235 01:13:11,132 --> 01:13:13,967 And he had a flashlight. He was gonna signal me, 1236 01:13:14,051 --> 01:13:19,222 I'd find him and then we were gonna work our way down to Rio. 1237 01:13:20,683 --> 01:13:21,850 I love Rio. 1238 01:13:21,934 --> 01:13:23,977 What... What happened? 1239 01:13:24,061 --> 01:13:25,186 It snowed. 1240 01:13:25,938 --> 01:13:28,022 A blizzard. You couldn't see anything. 1241 01:13:28,107 --> 01:13:29,399 You couldn't see your hand in front of your face. 1242 01:13:29,483 --> 01:13:31,442 Hell, I don't know where he landed. 1243 01:13:31,527 --> 01:13:35,530 I looked for him for months and months. So did the FBI, 1244 01:13:35,614 --> 01:13:38,867 so did the cops. No D.B., no money. 1245 01:13:39,577 --> 01:13:41,786 But you could've left. 1246 01:13:41,871 --> 01:13:44,164 Why'd you stay up here all these years? 1247 01:13:44,248 --> 01:13:46,749 Seemed like a good idea at the time. 1248 01:13:47,501 --> 01:13:51,462 -You know what I mean, kid? -Yeah, I do. 1249 01:13:52,089 --> 01:13:54,507 Have you ever spent 30 years in a cabin? 1250 01:13:54,592 --> 01:13:56,843 -No. -Then you don't know what I mean. 1251 01:13:56,927 --> 01:14:00,388 I mean, metaphorically, I know what you mean. 1252 01:14:00,472 --> 01:14:04,559 Well, metaphorically, have you ever spent 30 years in a cabin? 1253 01:14:04,643 --> 01:14:07,770 -No. -Well, then, think before you talk. 1254 01:14:09,231 --> 01:14:13,776 Point is, I've spent the best years of my life sitting on the porch, 1255 01:14:13,861 --> 01:14:16,863 playing the harmonica, waiting for something better, 1256 01:14:16,947 --> 01:14:20,200 and the years have been going by faster and faster. 1257 01:14:20,284 --> 01:14:21,951 And then all of a sudden, 1258 01:14:22,912 --> 01:14:24,537 I was an old man. 1259 01:14:26,790 --> 01:14:29,751 Well, I bet you can play the shit out of that harmonica. 1260 01:14:31,003 --> 01:14:32,378 That I can. 1261 01:14:34,131 --> 01:14:37,050 Except there's no one around to hear me play it. 1262 01:14:37,134 --> 01:14:40,261 Piece of advice, you can lose your money, 1263 01:14:40,346 --> 01:14:42,889 you can spend it, all of it, 1264 01:14:42,973 --> 01:14:46,893 and if you work hard, you get it all back. 1265 01:14:46,977 --> 01:14:49,270 But if you waste your time, 1266 01:14:50,731 --> 01:14:53,024 you're never gonna get it back. 1267 01:14:54,526 --> 01:14:58,154 Whatever it is you fellas are looking for, 1268 01:14:58,239 --> 01:15:00,406 you gotta go out and get it. 1269 01:15:01,283 --> 01:15:03,493 And you gotta go right now. 1270 01:15:05,913 --> 01:15:08,998 Not right now, you idiots. 1271 01:15:12,002 --> 01:15:14,837 Well, you boys get some sleep. 1272 01:15:14,922 --> 01:15:17,882 In the morning, I'm gonna point you in the right direction, 1273 01:15:17,967 --> 01:15:20,301 get you right off this mountain. 1274 01:15:28,894 --> 01:15:30,520 Morning. 1275 01:15:34,483 --> 01:15:37,318 -Bacon. -Squirrel. 1276 01:15:38,737 --> 01:15:40,029 Squirrel. 1277 01:15:42,741 --> 01:15:44,367 Nice T-shirt, J.J. 1278 01:15:45,244 --> 01:15:47,537 That's my J.J. Walker T-shirt. 1279 01:15:48,580 --> 01:15:50,873 "Dy-no-mite." 1280 01:15:50,958 --> 01:15:53,084 Dy-no-mite. 1281 01:15:53,711 --> 01:15:55,795 Dy-no-mite. 1282 01:15:55,879 --> 01:15:57,630 Dy-no-mite! 1283 01:15:57,715 --> 01:15:59,132 No, that's too big. 1284 01:15:59,216 --> 01:16:00,425 -Bathroom? -Outside. 1285 01:16:00,509 --> 01:16:01,884 Thought so. 1286 01:16:02,386 --> 01:16:04,220 Dy-no-mite. 1287 01:16:04,305 --> 01:16:05,555 Dy-no-mite. 1288 01:16:05,639 --> 01:16:07,557 Creeping me out. 1289 01:16:13,105 --> 01:16:15,064 Look at this. 1290 01:16:36,795 --> 01:16:39,047 Does a bear shit in the woods? 1291 01:16:40,591 --> 01:16:43,343 Hey. Does a bear shit in the woods? 1292 01:16:43,427 --> 01:16:45,803 My cell phone. Where did you find that? 1293 01:16:45,888 --> 01:16:47,805 Does a bear shit in the woods? 1294 01:16:47,890 --> 01:16:50,266 -Usually. -Unbelievable. 1295 01:16:50,351 --> 01:16:51,851 I gotta make a quick call, all right? 1296 01:16:51,935 --> 01:16:53,895 -Who you gonna call? -Ghostbusters? 1297 01:16:53,979 --> 01:16:55,229 Denise. 1298 01:16:57,858 --> 01:17:01,569 Hi. Jerry and Denise are no longer doing it. 1299 01:17:01,653 --> 01:17:04,822 If you need Denise, call her on her cell. 1300 01:17:10,996 --> 01:17:13,331 It's killing time! 1301 01:17:13,415 --> 01:17:15,750 Come on, Jerry, get down. 1302 01:17:29,807 --> 01:17:33,101 Hey, come on, now. Give me a hand. 1303 01:17:35,145 --> 01:17:36,896 Every time I get comfortable. 1304 01:17:36,980 --> 01:17:40,066 Listen up. Go due north till you get to the top of the ridge, 1305 01:17:40,150 --> 01:17:42,527 then you go directly west. 1306 01:17:42,611 --> 01:17:44,153 -Okay. -Just keep going, 1307 01:17:44,238 --> 01:17:46,114 you'll come to an old mining trail. 1308 01:17:46,198 --> 01:17:49,075 Follow that right down to the bottom of the mountain. 1309 01:17:49,159 --> 01:17:50,410 All right. 1310 01:17:51,328 --> 01:17:53,329 You go right, I go left. 1311 01:17:53,414 --> 01:17:55,581 -Okay. -I love this part. 1312 01:17:55,666 --> 01:17:57,583 -Come on. -He say left or right? 1313 01:17:57,668 --> 01:17:59,752 Have a good life, boys. 1314 01:18:04,925 --> 01:18:08,177 -Let's go. -Go, go, go, go! 1315 01:18:19,857 --> 01:18:24,152 When you peckerwoods get your diapers clean, come on back. 1316 01:18:24,236 --> 01:18:26,028 I'll be waiting. 1317 01:18:28,532 --> 01:18:31,200 -West is this way. -We're not going west. 1318 01:18:31,285 --> 01:18:33,453 Yes, we are. The compass says so. 1319 01:18:33,537 --> 01:18:35,621 Well, this compass came out of a cereal box, 1320 01:18:35,706 --> 01:18:37,165 so why are we running the wrong way? 1321 01:18:37,249 --> 01:18:38,749 Iron. Iron. 1322 01:18:38,834 --> 01:18:39,917 What? 1323 01:18:40,002 --> 01:18:42,670 Iron ore. There's iron in the hills. 1324 01:18:42,754 --> 01:18:44,088 It's throwing off the magnet. 1325 01:18:44,173 --> 01:18:46,299 Tell Mr. Wizard that we're still going the wrong way. 1326 01:18:46,383 --> 01:18:48,217 Which means Del's compass, it wouldn't work here. 1327 01:18:48,302 --> 01:18:51,053 If D.B. was supposed to land three degrees northwest of Devil's Ridge, 1328 01:18:51,138 --> 01:18:53,264 it would've come off as directly west. 1329 01:18:53,348 --> 01:18:54,432 Who cares about D.B.? 1330 01:18:54,516 --> 01:18:57,393 Which means he would've landed somewhere... 1331 01:19:02,065 --> 01:19:05,318 Oh, my throat, neck, chest. 1332 01:19:08,489 --> 01:19:11,407 Guys, I think we found him. 1333 01:19:13,911 --> 01:19:15,244 Jesus. 1334 01:19:27,716 --> 01:19:30,384 This is him. This is D.B. Cooper. 1335 01:19:30,469 --> 01:19:33,554 It has to be. The parachute and the briefcase. 1336 01:19:33,639 --> 01:19:37,308 He must have broke his legs in the landing and then stumbled in this hole. 1337 01:19:37,392 --> 01:19:38,559 You poor bastard. 1338 01:19:38,644 --> 01:19:40,811 Del was looking for him, but it was winter. 1339 01:19:40,896 --> 01:19:43,981 And the snow must have covered up the top there. 1340 01:19:47,069 --> 01:19:49,487 -We found him. -That's him. 1341 01:19:49,571 --> 01:19:50,863 -I can't believe we did it. -D.B. Cooper. 1342 01:19:50,948 --> 01:19:52,532 Who else would it be? 1343 01:19:52,616 --> 01:19:54,700 This case is empty. The money's gone. 1344 01:19:54,785 --> 01:19:57,954 No, look. Look what he's holding. 1345 01:20:01,667 --> 01:20:03,709 He burnt the cash to stay warm. 1346 01:20:03,794 --> 01:20:08,047 He traded every dollar for just a few more hours of life. 1347 01:20:08,131 --> 01:20:10,258 So much for the treasure. 1348 01:20:10,342 --> 01:20:12,176 No, that's it. 1349 01:20:13,762 --> 01:20:16,472 Being alive, that's the treasure. 1350 01:20:17,099 --> 01:20:18,891 Here he is, boys, 1351 01:20:18,976 --> 01:20:21,894 the great D.B. Cooper and his treasure. 1352 01:20:21,979 --> 01:20:26,941 And we found it, so we get our most valuable possessions back. 1353 01:20:29,319 --> 01:20:30,444 Yeah. 1354 01:20:34,074 --> 01:20:36,075 Gentlemen. 1355 01:20:49,339 --> 01:20:52,842 Time to leave this stuff behind and get the hell home. 1356 01:20:53,468 --> 01:20:55,553 Come on, Elwood. 1357 01:21:00,225 --> 01:21:02,768 Well, boss? What's the plan now? 1358 01:21:02,853 --> 01:21:04,770 First we gotta find our way out of this hellhole, 1359 01:21:04,855 --> 01:21:07,064 -and then we make a run for it. -No. 1360 01:21:07,149 --> 01:21:10,943 No more running. After everything we've been through, 1361 01:21:11,778 --> 01:21:15,323 Dr. Mott has finally run out of things to be afraid of. 1362 01:21:16,325 --> 01:21:20,703 Do you hear that? I'm not scared of you, you Neanderthal dicks! 1363 01:21:20,787 --> 01:21:22,121 Okay, okay. 1364 01:21:22,205 --> 01:21:24,040 We got it, we got it, all right? 1365 01:21:24,124 --> 01:21:26,375 Hey, look, there's light coming from over there. 1366 01:21:26,460 --> 01:21:30,212 -What is that, a tunnel? -Yeah, maybe it leads out of here. 1367 01:21:31,131 --> 01:21:34,759 We're never getting through there, Tom. 1368 01:21:37,220 --> 01:21:39,847 -Dano? -No. 1369 01:21:39,931 --> 01:21:41,641 No. No way. 1370 01:21:41,725 --> 01:21:43,559 What happened to the badass over there? 1371 01:21:43,644 --> 01:21:47,313 What happened to running out of things to be afraid of? 1372 01:21:47,397 --> 01:21:51,400 That was... This is just a small, dark space, you know. 1373 01:21:51,485 --> 01:21:53,986 I can't. I can't, it's a deal-breaker. 1374 01:21:54,071 --> 01:21:56,113 This could lead out of here. 1375 01:21:56,198 --> 01:21:59,075 Dan, you're the only one small enough to go through. 1376 01:21:59,159 --> 01:22:00,951 That's what she said. 1377 01:22:03,955 --> 01:22:08,000 It's... It's a mine shaft. They had to get the ore out somehow. 1378 01:22:08,085 --> 01:22:11,837 -It's our only chance, Dano. -Come on, prairie dog. 1379 01:22:11,922 --> 01:22:13,422 You can do it. 1380 01:22:15,759 --> 01:22:17,968 I don't think that's helping. 1381 01:22:19,054 --> 01:22:20,262 Okay. 1382 01:22:22,766 --> 01:22:24,016 Come on. 1383 01:22:24,101 --> 01:22:25,935 Let's get him like this and slide him in. 1384 01:22:35,112 --> 01:22:37,321 Keep going, buddy. 1385 01:22:37,406 --> 01:22:40,533 Keep going. There's gotta be light. Do you see light? 1386 01:22:40,617 --> 01:22:42,618 I don't think I can. 1387 01:22:43,120 --> 01:22:44,995 I don't think I can. 1388 01:22:45,080 --> 01:22:48,791 Come on, Dan. Soothing songs from the past. 1389 01:22:49,126 --> 01:22:54,171 -Do you really want to hurt me? -Do you really want to hurt me? 1390 01:22:55,382 --> 01:22:59,051 -Do you really want to make me cry? -...make me cry? 1391 01:23:01,638 --> 01:23:05,558 Precious kisses Words that burn me 1392 01:23:05,642 --> 01:23:08,894 Lovers never ask you why 1393 01:23:09,312 --> 01:23:13,149 -Do you really want to hurt me? -Do you really want to hurt me? 1394 01:23:13,233 --> 01:23:14,442 Come on, Dano! 1395 01:23:14,526 --> 01:23:18,738 Do you really want to make me cry? 1396 01:23:19,614 --> 01:23:20,823 Quiet. 1397 01:23:20,949 --> 01:23:26,370 ...burn me Lovers never ask you why 1398 01:23:26,455 --> 01:23:28,831 -The hills have gone gay. -No, no. 1399 01:23:28,915 --> 01:23:30,624 It's Culture Club. 1400 01:23:31,877 --> 01:23:33,794 I had a new wave phase. 1401 01:23:36,673 --> 01:23:40,009 Lovers never ask you why 1402 01:23:40,260 --> 01:23:44,597 -Do you really... -Do you really want to hurt me? 1403 01:23:44,723 --> 01:23:46,766 ...wanna hurt me? 1404 01:23:47,976 --> 01:23:51,854 Do you really want to make me cry? 1405 01:23:52,856 --> 01:23:57,067 Yes, we really wanna hurt you 1406 01:23:57,152 --> 01:24:01,363 Yes, we really wanna make you cry 1407 01:24:01,531 --> 01:24:05,743 Precious kisses Words that burn me 1408 01:24:05,827 --> 01:24:07,495 Lovers never ask you... 1409 01:24:10,457 --> 01:24:12,249 How you like me now? 1410 01:24:13,460 --> 01:24:16,629 Well, well, well. We got you, little city boys. 1411 01:24:16,713 --> 01:24:17,922 We sure got you. 1412 01:24:18,006 --> 01:24:20,299 I think this is just a misunderstanding. 1413 01:24:20,383 --> 01:24:23,844 -That was quite a run you gave us. -You ain't running nowhere now. 1414 01:24:23,929 --> 01:24:25,221 What am I doing? 1415 01:24:25,305 --> 01:24:26,639 -The game's up. -Hold on, Dennis. 1416 01:24:26,723 --> 01:24:28,724 I have a wonderful idea. 1417 01:24:29,851 --> 01:24:31,852 Can I use this, please? 1418 01:24:31,937 --> 01:24:36,023 Elwood, that is the best idea you have had, ever. 1419 01:24:36,608 --> 01:24:38,275 We got you now. 1420 01:24:47,077 --> 01:24:49,620 How you like me now? 1421 01:24:51,373 --> 01:24:53,082 Good work, Dan. 1422 01:24:56,253 --> 01:24:57,628 Watch out! 1423 01:25:03,426 --> 01:25:04,927 You got them, guys! 1424 01:25:13,186 --> 01:25:14,687 Elwood, you all right? 1425 01:25:19,109 --> 01:25:20,693 Good one, Jerry. You're awesome! 1426 01:25:20,777 --> 01:25:22,862 Stop cheerleading and help, man! 1427 01:25:22,946 --> 01:25:24,446 -Right. -Get them, Elwood. 1428 01:25:24,531 --> 01:25:27,324 -Get him off me. -Hey. There's a grenade up here. 1429 01:25:27,409 --> 01:25:28,951 No! 1430 01:25:30,579 --> 01:25:33,163 No biting. No biting! 1431 01:26:02,944 --> 01:26:04,069 Gun. 1432 01:26:17,959 --> 01:26:21,253 Sheriff! Sheriff. Thank God you're here. 1433 01:26:21,338 --> 01:26:22,588 My friends are in that hole. 1434 01:26:22,672 --> 01:26:25,507 And these guys are down there beating them up. And these are their guns. 1435 01:26:26,176 --> 01:26:28,385 They got us in this hole. 1436 01:26:28,470 --> 01:26:31,221 Having a spot of trouble, are you, city slickers? 1437 01:26:31,306 --> 01:26:33,933 Sheriff. I never thought I'd be happy to see you again. 1438 01:26:34,017 --> 01:26:35,768 Give me that. 1439 01:26:36,436 --> 01:26:38,646 Hey, hey. Fight's over, fellas. 1440 01:26:38,730 --> 01:26:41,231 Come on, Jer. Come on. 1441 01:26:43,693 --> 01:26:46,362 -Good work, Dano. -You, too. I can't believe we made it. 1442 01:26:46,446 --> 01:26:48,030 Not quite. 1443 01:26:48,657 --> 01:26:52,242 All right, ladies, on your feet. Let's get this over with. 1444 01:26:52,327 --> 01:26:56,288 Jesus, Hank. We were scared you was never gonna come. 1445 01:26:56,373 --> 01:26:59,083 -Oh, I scared you, did I? I scared you? -Yeah, you did. 1446 01:26:59,167 --> 01:27:00,292 It's all about you, isn't it, Elwood? 1447 01:27:00,377 --> 01:27:03,671 -These boys have been running all over. -Well, it's a damn good thing I got here. 1448 01:27:03,755 --> 01:27:07,174 You two been shooting up this goddamn mountain for three days, 1449 01:27:07,258 --> 01:27:09,176 chasing these jag-offs. 1450 01:27:09,260 --> 01:27:13,430 Nice racket, sheriff. What, do you get a cut of the weed profits? 1451 01:27:13,515 --> 01:27:16,976 Profits? They work for me, ass-wipe. 1452 01:27:17,060 --> 01:27:19,019 What are you gonna tell our families? I mean, you can't... 1453 01:27:19,104 --> 01:27:21,689 You can't exactly explain this away. 1454 01:27:21,773 --> 01:27:23,232 Explaining? 1455 01:27:23,900 --> 01:27:26,068 We don't have to explain anything. 1456 01:27:26,152 --> 01:27:30,531 It's just three more city boys got lost on the river, that's all. 1457 01:27:30,615 --> 01:27:33,659 Hey, I bet they got eaten up by scavengers. 1458 01:27:33,743 --> 01:27:35,327 -It's a terrible shame. -Dano. 1459 01:27:35,412 --> 01:27:37,246 -Case closed. -Let's shoot them. 1460 01:27:37,330 --> 01:27:39,707 I wanna shoot the little redhead one right there. 1461 01:27:39,791 --> 01:27:42,626 Now, look, I'm tired of talking. 1462 01:27:44,504 --> 01:27:46,463 Let's get this done with. 1463 01:27:46,548 --> 01:27:48,966 Over the edge you go, boys. 1464 01:27:49,050 --> 01:27:50,092 -Wait! -Shut up. 1465 01:27:50,176 --> 01:27:52,094 Wait, Sheriff. Wait, wait, wait. 1466 01:27:52,178 --> 01:27:53,345 Okay, Sheriff, I'm gonna shoot them now. 1467 01:27:53,430 --> 01:27:56,473 No, no, no. Well, let's listen to this. 1468 01:27:56,558 --> 01:27:57,808 Look, 1469 01:27:59,310 --> 01:28:01,854 you and I, we're cut from the same cloth. 1470 01:28:01,938 --> 01:28:04,148 I mean, we're a lot alike, don't you think? 1471 01:28:04,232 --> 01:28:09,028 Yeah, sure, I'm better with numbers and I bathe often. 1472 01:28:09,112 --> 01:28:13,824 I have a dental plan that's allowed me to keep all my teeth, unlike yourself. 1473 01:28:16,870 --> 01:28:19,038 -Yeah? -I learned a little something 1474 01:28:19,122 --> 01:28:23,000 the last couple days, getting chased by ass-face and dick-chin there. 1475 01:28:23,084 --> 01:28:24,710 And that is, 1476 01:28:24,794 --> 01:28:27,671 I have two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. 1477 01:28:27,756 --> 01:28:30,424 I've got the love of a good woman. 1478 01:28:30,508 --> 01:28:34,386 I've got a really good life. I mean, I've got an amazing life. 1479 01:28:35,805 --> 01:28:39,725 And I've decided that my life's worth living. Now, you have to decide 1480 01:28:39,809 --> 01:28:43,562 if your life's worth living, too, because if it is, 1481 01:28:43,646 --> 01:28:46,065 you put your gun down. 1482 01:28:46,149 --> 01:28:47,775 And if we don't? 1483 01:28:50,153 --> 01:28:53,072 -Bye, bye, boys. -It's go time. 1484 01:28:53,156 --> 01:28:56,033 -Let's do this thing! -Put the pin back in the grenade. 1485 01:28:56,117 --> 01:28:57,785 That is my grenade, sir. 1486 01:28:57,869 --> 01:29:01,538 The plan was for me to sacrifice myself if need be while you two ran for it. 1487 01:29:01,623 --> 01:29:03,248 -I didn't know. -That's my grenade... 1488 01:29:03,333 --> 01:29:06,502 -I'm not a mind reader, Jerry. -Give me back my grenade. 1489 01:29:10,548 --> 01:29:12,091 Run! 1490 01:29:12,675 --> 01:29:14,343 It's gonna blow! 1491 01:29:25,688 --> 01:29:27,231 All right, that's it. You're dead. 1492 01:29:27,315 --> 01:29:30,150 When all this is over, someone's buying the first round. Not it. 1493 01:29:30,235 --> 01:29:32,778 -Not it. -Enough of this shit. Just shoot them. 1494 01:29:32,862 --> 01:29:35,489 Do you think there's beer in heaven? 1495 01:29:35,573 --> 01:29:38,158 I was thinking more about the bar in town. 1496 01:30:01,641 --> 01:30:04,101 -Let's get off this mountain. -All right. 1497 01:30:06,521 --> 01:30:12,317 These charges are unsubstantialated and injustifigurable and... 1498 01:30:12,402 --> 01:30:15,320 That's right. We did it. How you like me now? 1499 01:30:15,405 --> 01:30:17,948 This is the scene here at police headquarters 1500 01:30:18,032 --> 01:30:22,035 as three local heroes emerge to a cheering crowd. 1501 01:30:22,120 --> 01:30:25,247 The men accidentally helped break up one of the biggest drug rings 1502 01:30:25,331 --> 01:30:29,334 in state history while hiking in a remote section of the Cascades. 1503 01:30:29,419 --> 01:30:31,920 My old man would not believe this. 1504 01:30:32,005 --> 01:30:34,882 -Billy wouldn't believe it. -Actually, know what? 1505 01:30:34,966 --> 01:30:36,633 I think he would. 1506 01:30:36,718 --> 01:30:40,345 Oh, my goodness. Look at this ensemble. I like it. 1507 01:30:40,430 --> 01:30:42,139 -Look at you. -Thank you, boys. 1508 01:30:42,223 --> 01:30:44,641 Look at this stud. Del! 1509 01:30:44,726 --> 01:30:46,602 No names. Fuzz. 1510 01:30:47,353 --> 01:30:51,440 Glad I caught you guys before you headed out. I got something for you. 1511 01:30:51,941 --> 01:30:53,483 What's this? 1512 01:30:53,568 --> 01:30:56,653 -D.B.'s parachute. Are you sure? -Damn sure. 1513 01:30:56,738 --> 01:30:58,864 There's a little something for you rolled up inside there, too. 1514 01:30:58,948 --> 01:31:00,949 -Thank you. -So, where you headed? 1515 01:31:01,034 --> 01:31:04,536 Thought I'd see the world. I might even hit Washington. 1516 01:31:05,163 --> 01:31:07,539 Wow. One state over. 1517 01:31:07,624 --> 01:31:10,876 Till I do, I'm just telling tall tales. 1518 01:31:15,673 --> 01:31:19,343 Remember, carry your friends wherever you go. 1519 01:31:20,136 --> 01:31:22,221 Close to your heart. 1520 01:31:22,305 --> 01:31:25,933 Or on your back. I got D.B.'s bones in my satchel. 1521 01:31:26,017 --> 01:31:28,644 Thought I'd give him a proper burial. 1522 01:31:29,437 --> 01:31:32,522 I spent 30 years waiting to have a life. 1523 01:31:36,527 --> 01:31:39,071 -What the hell? -Oh, my gosh. 1524 01:31:39,155 --> 01:31:40,572 Oh, my God. 1525 01:31:42,158 --> 01:31:44,034 D.B. didn't burn it all. 1526 01:31:44,118 --> 01:31:46,370 He couldn't. It was Del's share. 1527 01:31:46,454 --> 01:31:48,455 There's gotta be 100 grand in here. 1528 01:31:48,539 --> 01:31:51,083 We'll split it three ways. 1529 01:31:51,167 --> 01:31:53,919 One-third, one-third, one-third? 1530 01:31:54,003 --> 01:31:55,629 You know what? 1531 01:31:56,923 --> 01:31:59,591 No, thanks. I'm... 1532 01:31:59,676 --> 01:32:01,134 -I'm good. -I'm not good. 1533 01:32:01,219 --> 01:32:02,928 You guys split it. 1534 01:32:03,680 --> 01:32:06,014 You wanna split it? Fifty-fifty? 1535 01:32:07,016 --> 01:32:08,934 Actually, I can't. 1536 01:32:09,018 --> 01:32:12,479 Because I bet you 100 grand that you couldn't catch a salmon 1537 01:32:12,563 --> 01:32:14,606 with a flashlight and I lost. 1538 01:32:14,691 --> 01:32:19,069 Besides, Tom, you got bills to pay. You got a new life to start. 1539 01:32:19,153 --> 01:32:21,321 I don't know what to say. 1540 01:32:21,406 --> 01:32:23,323 Just say we're square. 1541 01:32:24,242 --> 01:32:27,536 No, actually, we're not square. 1542 01:32:28,663 --> 01:32:32,582 I seem to recall a certain part of that wager being one left nut, 1543 01:32:32,667 --> 01:32:35,210 and I'm gonna get it. Come on, pleated pants, let's go. 1544 01:32:35,295 --> 01:32:37,921 -Hey, Tom. Hey. Hey. -Oh, no. 1545 01:32:38,006 --> 01:32:39,298 Don't make me go in through the throat. 1546 01:32:39,382 --> 01:32:41,300 -I'm going through the throat. -You said I could keep it. 1547 01:32:41,384 --> 01:32:43,844 -No, I didn't. -Tom, you said I could keep it. 1548 01:32:43,928 --> 01:32:45,470 Jerry! Officer! 1549 01:32:47,098 --> 01:32:49,725 Hi. This is Jerry, and I can't come to the phone right now 1550 01:32:49,809 --> 01:32:53,020 because I am busy trying to convince the love of my life 1551 01:32:53,104 --> 01:32:54,313 to give me another chance. 1552 01:32:54,397 --> 01:32:56,940 And I will prove to her that I grew up just enough 1553 01:32:57,025 --> 01:33:00,152 to know that I want the responsibility, day in and day out, 1554 01:33:00,236 --> 01:33:02,362 of being there for her in this relationship, 1555 01:33:02,447 --> 01:33:06,074 which I am hoping will someday become marriage and kids 1556 01:33:06,159 --> 01:33:09,703 and a long and unbelievably happy life together. 1557 01:33:09,787 --> 01:33:11,204 Hi, honey. 1558 01:33:36,147 --> 01:33:38,023 So happy right now. 1559 01:33:39,567 --> 01:33:42,778 That was really, really beautiful. 1560 01:33:48,576 --> 01:33:51,745 -Will you get the light, hon? -Oh, yeah. 1561 01:33:54,957 --> 01:33:57,084 You're so good at that now. 1562 01:33:59,754 --> 01:34:03,298 And then I jumped on the grenade to save my buddies and... 1563 01:34:03,383 --> 01:34:05,717 Blew my ribcage all to shit. 1564 01:34:05,802 --> 01:34:08,095 Sent me 156 feet in the air. 1565 01:34:08,179 --> 01:34:12,474 Then I went back and paid off all my debts in full with D.B.'s money. 1566 01:34:15,311 --> 01:34:16,812 One question. 1567 01:34:18,064 --> 01:34:21,064 What's a downstairs?