0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 1 00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:53,281 FEMALE ANNOUNCER.: Lights, camera, access. 2 00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:59,549 O'DELL.: Yes, it's true. The master of midday TV goes prime time. 3 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,321 Talk show host Dr. RJ Stevens has popped the question to Bianca Kittles, 4 00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:05,759 recent winner of Survivor: Kiribati. 5 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:06,821 What's good, family? 6 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,266 The Doctor's show, with his irreverent guests... 7 00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:11,269 I've been banging your sister. 8 00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:12,634 (SCREAMING) 9 00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:16,197 ... party-like atmosphere and his "Team of Me" philosophy... 10 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:17,470 The team of who? 11 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,636 ALL: Me! 12 00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:20,008 Rely on yourself. 13 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,275 ... has gotten a significant ratings boost 14 00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:25,146 since news of his impending nuptials became public. 15 00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:29,052 This is, no doubt, welcome news to the ultra-competitive, glammed-out Bianca. 16 00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:32,148 The TV reality star used every asset she possessed 17 00:01:32,225 --> 00:01:35,126 to outwit, outplay and outlast the competition 18 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,095 on her quest for the million bucks. 19 00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:39,131 It's a Q-rating bonanza, 20 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:41,633 as these two couldn't be more perfectly matched. 21 00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:44,295 Life is good for the good doctor. 22 00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:45,997 Wow. ANNOUNCER.: (WHISPERING) On access. 23 00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:48,267 That was fabulous! 24 00:01:49,008 --> 00:01:50,498 Honey, I'm so proud of you. Thank you. 25 00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:53,137 You're such a star. Isn't he a star? 26 00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:54,237 (ALL CHEERING) 27 00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:55,747 He is a superstar. 28 00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,909 Now, that is how you announce your engagement! 29 00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:01,984 That was genius. 30 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,387 You're the talk of the town! WOMAN: Hey, RJ. 31 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,017 Could you imagine this five years ago, bro? 32 00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,617 With a girl like that? Hell, no. 33 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:12,597 Hit show, big mansion on the block. Now I'm international. 34 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:13,927 You look great, by the way. 35 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,492 Shit, man, that's all this tofu Bianca got me eating. 36 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:20,471 Besides the hunger pains, being a vegan is the shit. 37 00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:21,973 (LAUGHING) 38 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,572 Cheers. Honey! Telephone. 39 00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:28,307 Get going. 40 00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:31,544 BIANCA: That sounds wonderful. I can't wait. 41 00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:33,545 Great. 42 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:37,584 Well, it's nice speaking to you. Okay, hold on. 43 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:41,492 It's your mom. Hurry up. Talk. We still have guests. 44 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:42,960 Hi! WOMAN: Hi there! 45 00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:45,862 You made it. Oh, my God. You look amazing! 46 00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:48,393 Hey, Mama. 47 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:51,403 Well, hello, stranger. 48 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:54,668 We're just beginning to think you just forgot all about us. 49 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:58,177 No, Mama. I can't forget my number one girl. 50 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:01,478 (CHUCKLES) And I didn't forget your anniversary, either. 51 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:05,644 I sent y'all a 50" plasma TV. 52 00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,720 One inch for every year. 53 00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:12,385 That's sweet, baby. But we'd much rather meet Blanca. 54 00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,449 She sounds so nice. 55 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,825 (LAUGHS) Bianca, Mama. Not Blanca. 56 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:21,225 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was Blanca. 57 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,963 Well, baby, you know it's our 50th anniversary. 58 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,939 Mama, I don't think we're gonna be able to make it. 59 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:32,307 Jamaal, you know, he's got this big soccer game. 60 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:34,175 The boy loves himself some soccer, Mama. 61 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,977 I know. He talks to Papa all the time. 62 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,642 Jamaal and Daddy have been talking? 63 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,982 And writing letters. 64 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:45,684 Lord... You know, we haven't seen that child since he was a baby. 65 00:03:45,758 --> 00:03:48,124 You've just got to come. Everybody's coming. 66 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:50,424 We got Ellie and Cleavon, 67 00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,293 Clyde and Lucinda and... 68 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:53,992 Lucinda? Oh, yes. 69 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,193 Lucinda and Clyde? 70 00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:56,428 Mmm-hmm. 71 00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:58,493 They're coming together? I forgot to tell you. 72 00:03:58,571 --> 00:03:59,697 But I... I thought... 73 00:03:59,772 --> 00:04:01,399 PAPA.: That's a lot of questions, boy. 74 00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:04,199 Hey, Daddy. 75 00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:08,043 Especially from someone who has shown very little interest in his family. 76 00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:09,103 Yes, sir, but I... 77 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:13,278 If you can find the time to explore "The Mind Of A Stripper" 78 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:17,049 or "Sisters Gone Wild" with your so-called "family," 79 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:20,854 then you can find the time to spend with your actual family. 80 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,258 So you've been watching! 81 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:25,195 Boy, don't disappoint your mother. 82 00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:43,211 (SIGHS) 83 00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:46,275 (REFEREE BLOWING WHISTLE) 84 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,651 RJ: Go, Jamaal! 85 00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:49,949 There you go, there you go! 86 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,115 Boy, that kid's good. 87 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,215 Right. Move. Push it! 88 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,284 Come on, get it, get it, get it, get it! Right there! 89 00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:57,022 Let it go, Jamaal! 90 00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,926 That's a winner, Jamaal! 91 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,365 (WHOOPING) 92 00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:03,959 (LAUGHS) 93 00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,569 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 94 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:10,973 MARTY: Hey, RJ, I'll see you later, man. Okay, take care. You tell Jamaal I said bye. 95 00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,512 Jamaal, way to go. Way to go. That's how you do that. 96 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,241 Good going, guys! Yeah! 97 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,442 (WHOOPING) 98 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:20,782 That's my boy. That's my boy. 99 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:27,684 That's a lot of running for one goal. But, hey, at least you hit it. 100 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:30,988 Dad, you should come more often. 101 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,122 Hey, I'm here. 102 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:36,527 Dad, why don't you want to go to Dry Springs? 103 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,765 (SIGHS) Come on. Not you, too. 104 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,399 Papa Jenkins says Dry Springs is awesome. 105 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:45,273 He said all my cousins'll be there and I'd have a lot of fun. 106 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,473 Oh, really? What else do y'all talk about? 107 00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:53,781 I don't know. School, my friends, soccer, global warming. 108 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,343 Global warming? 109 00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:59,585 We talk about a lot of stuff. He's really cool. 110 00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:01,524 Can't we please go? 111 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,491 I'll think about it, Jamaal. 112 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:10,594 Oh. Talk it over with the boss, first. 113 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:14,097 Boss? 114 00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:15,931 (SCOFFS) 115 00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:21,173 Son, men run things in a relationship. 116 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:27,150 And between us men, never let a woman tell you what to do, and how to do it. 117 00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:30,552 Your dad's in complete control. 118 00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:31,612 (RJ SCREAMING) 119 00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:32,749 BIANCA: Who's in control? 120 00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,884 Tell me. Who's in control? 121 00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,019 I don't know! 122 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:37,153 Take me higher, you can do it! 123 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,288 (GASPING) Oh, no. 124 00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:41,356 Come on. Take me. Harder! 125 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,368 Come on, lover! (WHINING) Mama! 126 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,131 (IN A DEEP VOICE) Yes! Oh, shit! 127 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,262 Push it! 128 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,204 What the hell are you... Yes! 129 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:49,969 (GROANING) 130 00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:52,771 (MUMBLING NONSENSICALLY) 131 00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:57,074 BIANCA: Oh. 132 00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:00,415 Speaking in tongues. That's a first. 133 00:07:01,854 --> 00:07:02,878 (BIANCA SIGHS) 134 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:04,718 I'm so proud of you. 135 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:06,882 (BIANCA EXHALES) 136 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:09,450 I want to look hot for your family. 137 00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:12,864 So now... Time for my seven miles. 138 00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,335 (TREADMILL WHIRRING) 139 00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:19,394 Can you untie me first? 140 00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:23,600 Babe? 141 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,337 Babe! Babe... 142 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,976 It's all done. I booked the tickets. 143 00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:37,850 Honey? I'm hearing a tinge of doubt in your voice. 144 00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:43,758 I'm cool. You know, it's... It'll be four days, then we get back to our lives. 145 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,229 Exactly. 146 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:48,592 This will solidify our union to the world. 147 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:54,071 We'll tape your parents' banquet, you make a heartfelt speech, and the ratings? 148 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,732 (CHUCKLES) Oh, my God! 149 00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:57,132 (BIANCA SIGHS) 150 00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,336 Yeah. 151 00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:03,542 "Country boy done good returns home with his Survivor queen." 152 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,541 (LAUGHS) Hey, my... My audience'll dig that. 153 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,754 See? That's why I love you. 154 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,324 Baby, I've dated all kinds of men. 155 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:20,796 Athletes, CEOs, princes, bad boys, attorneys, mob bosses... 156 00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:23,802 (MUFFLED) No, no, I get it. I get that. 157 00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:30,337 But I've never connected with any of them the way that I do with you. 158 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,871 RJ Stevens. 159 00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,207 Mmm. 160 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,804 Team of Me. 161 00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:37,747 (CHUCKLING) 162 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:42,311 Your very words helped me win Survivor, and they brought me right to you. 163 00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:44,920 They did, didn't they? Uh-huh. 164 00:08:44,991 --> 00:08:46,015 (CHUCKLING) 165 00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:47,559 See? We connect. 166 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:48,651 Yes. 167 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:50,628 We're winners. 168 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,563 And you? You're the man. 169 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,727 I am the man. 170 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:56,893 Say it louder. 171 00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:57,993 I'm the man. 172 00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,094 Say it louder. 173 00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:00,331 I'm the man! Yeah! 174 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,502 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 175 00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:24,858 BIANCA: Honey, don't ruin your outfit. 176 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:27,161 (SCOFFS) Baby, men don't wear outfits. 177 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,599 (GRUNTING) 178 00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,366 What do you have in these bags, anyway? 179 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:39,571 You went 39 days on a desert island with... With a toothpick and a thong. 180 00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,104 I need options. 181 00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,376 RJ: Damn the options. I need room. 182 00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:48,719 I'd be happy to check that for you. 183 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,119 Hell, no! 184 00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:54,292 I had some bad experiences. 185 00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:57,655 I'll just slip it in the captain's closet. 186 00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,999 It's the safest place it could be. 187 00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:20,750 (EXCLAIMS) 188 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,852 Let's get this party started. 189 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,083 Uh-uh-uh. 190 00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:26,988 I got you beet juice. 191 00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:28,549 Come on, baby, I want to live a little. 192 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,959 Precisely. 193 00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,724 It's an excellent source of antioxidants. 194 00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,788 Your drink, sir. Drink up. 195 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,389 FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Enjoy. 196 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,402 (PLANE ENGINE HUMMING) 197 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,301 FLIGHT ATTENDANT ON PA.: Once we have reached a comfortable... 198 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,669 Hey, Dad? 199 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:41,832 Yeah, son? 200 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,374 This is gonna be great. Thanks. 201 00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:45,774 Anything for you, my man. 202 00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,210 (EXCLAIMS) 203 00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:51,306 (DOG WHIMPERING) 204 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:56,549 And now we ask you to please relax, sit back and enjoy the flight. 205 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,989 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Georgia. 206 00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:04,757 How does his bag get lost in a captain's closet? 207 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,661 Explain that to me. Yes, ma'am. 208 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:07,721 Where's your father? 209 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,233 He won't come out of the bathroom. 210 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:12,065 WOMAN ON PA.: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading only. 211 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:14,265 Honey, how do the pants fit? 212 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:19,510 Flight 514 from Atlanta, your luggage will be at Carousel 2. 213 00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:27,579 (JAMAAL LAUGHING) 214 00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:37,657 You mean to tell me 215 00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:41,291 this is the only pair of pants you could find in this country-ass airport? 216 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,666 I like it. Colors look fabulous on you. 217 00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:49,203 Babe, I look like a clown. 218 00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:52,341 Look... Look at how tight these are. Look! 219 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,775 I see that, tiger. 220 00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:58,908 Come. Let's get the car. 221 00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:04,287 (LAUGHING) 222 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,824 Ladies and gentlemen, for your own safety and protection, 223 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:10,361 please do not leave your bags unattended. 224 00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:18,966 JAMAAL: Wow, the whole weekend is planned. 225 00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:22,872 There's a barbecue today, a softball game tomorrow, 226 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,705 a fish fry on Saturday. 227 00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:27,143 Oh, look! An obstacle course race! 228 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,909 And the anniversary banquet's Sunday night. 229 00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,244 Cool! 230 00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:33,373 (JAMAAL COUGHING) 231 00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,044 (WHOOPING) 232 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,918 Nice ears, Dad. 233 00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:38,217 (LAUGHING) 234 00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:40,520 Oh, man. Nice picture, Dad. 235 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,619 Oh, man. 236 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:52,961 (HORN HONKING) 237 00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,596 MAN: Hey, now! 238 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:58,803 How terribly quaint. As if time stood still. 239 00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:02,808 It has. I told you, don't nothing ever happen around here. 240 00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:04,740 What the hell? 241 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:06,542 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 242 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,678 That shit was tight, right? 243 00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:10,153 (WHOOPING) 244 00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:11,689 Oh, damn! 245 00:13:12,925 --> 00:13:15,860 Oh, my God, baby, you get me so freaking hot! 246 00:13:17,496 --> 00:13:18,758 Do you know them? 247 00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,459 I don't know her, but that's my cousin Reggie. 248 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,964 You got your jewelry? You got your purse? 249 00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:26,527 All right? 'Cause the boy could con Jesus. 250 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,269 Oh, no. Oh, no, that's him. 251 00:13:29,341 --> 00:13:31,002 Oh, that's him! Who? 252 00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:32,270 Here he comes, here he comes. 253 00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:36,804 My nigga Roscoe Steven Jenkins! Hollywood did came to town! 254 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,877 (CHUCKLES) What's up? What's up, dawg? 255 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,177 What up, cuz? What up, cuz? 256 00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:44,188 How you doing? How you do... 257 00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:45,920 (LAUGHING) Come on, man, give it up! 258 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:47,720 Man, what's happening? All right. 259 00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:49,488 Oh, man, look at what you... 260 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,792 Look, you got them picnic tablecloth pants on. 261 00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:55,231 "Hey, Boo-Boo, let me get another picnic basket." 262 00:13:55,301 --> 00:14:00,466 (LAUGHING) I guess Outkast's about to name their third member. Li'I Roscoe 1000. 263 00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:03,007 Yeah, but don't be mad 'cause you ain't up on the style. 264 00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,100 Ain't that right, baby? Roscoe? 265 00:14:05,878 --> 00:14:07,345 Why do you call him Roscoe? 266 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,540 That's his government name. 267 00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:11,507 (NERVOUS LAUGH) 268 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,246 Oh, not into full disclosure. I see. 269 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,151 Okay. Welcome to the family. 270 00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:17,348 (LAUGHS) Thank you. 271 00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,653 Lookie here, lookie here. 272 00:14:19,725 --> 00:14:23,456 First it was Survivor, now it's America's Next Top Model. 273 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,224 Oh, stop it. Really? 274 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:26,958 Oh, hell, yeah, really! 275 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:31,325 My God, I'll drink your dishwater, bathwater, all types of waters. 276 00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:32,893 I'll drink all your waters. 277 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:34,439 Boy, you do your thing. Get... Get off me. 278 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:36,406 Look at you doing your thing, boy! Hey, will you stop that? 279 00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:37,806 Thing, boy! You do your thing. Get off me! 280 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,936 (LAUGHS) Do your thing, boy. You do your thing. Hey, get off. 281 00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,377 Hey, why'd you keep checking my pockets, Reggie? 282 00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,415 Oh, you do your thing. Man, you need to get me out there to LA. 283 00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:44,540 Would you lookie here? Look. 284 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:45,879 Hi! Hi! 285 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,350 I'm Amy. 286 00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:50,217 Yeah, me and Amy are friends, man. You know what I'm saying? 287 00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:53,258 She's been a real inspiration to me, putting my new hip-hop album out. 288 00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:54,383 You know what I'm saying? 289 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,485 And my dad's company is financing it. 290 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,429 It's Pimp Nasty Records! Word! 291 00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,557 Pimp Nasty? AMY: (LAUGHS) Like that. 292 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:05,032 So everything is... Hey, boy, what the... What you doing? 293 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,765 Get back! Get back! 294 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,898 Water rat! That's a water rat, right there. 295 00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,134 (GROWLING) Get back. Get back. 296 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,540 Reg, come on. 297 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:12,975 It's okay, Fifi. 298 00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,945 RJ: Reggie, man. She's a dog, man. 299 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:16,174 It's Fiona. 300 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,216 Yo quiero Taco Bell. I ain't know what it was, man. 301 00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,479 I thought it was a little fur coat with some feet, or something, 302 00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:22,679 that damn walked over here, boy. 303 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,382 (BOTH LAUGHING) 304 00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:27,050 Man, Mama J sent us down here to get some ice. 305 00:15:27,126 --> 00:15:28,115 And? 306 00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:29,626 We're probably gonna need about 300. 307 00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:31,026 $300? Yeah. 308 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,859 For some ice? For some ice. 309 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,490 You must think I'm a damn fool. 310 00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:35,828 No, I know you ain't no damn fool. 311 00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:37,869 You standing there with that beautiful lady, right there. 312 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,802 Look like you a lucky fool. 313 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,937 (GIGGLES) 314 00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,437 What? It's just $300, baby. Go on. 315 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:49,504 You're not cheap, baby. Yes, he is. 316 00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:52,448 You don't know him like we... He's tight. Yeah, he is. 317 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:53,542 It's only $300, baby. 318 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,450 That's it, $300. For your family? 319 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:58,322 Please? 320 00:15:58,390 --> 00:15:59,482 Go on, baby. 321 00:16:02,861 --> 00:16:04,328 For the family. 322 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,637 All right, good to see you. 323 00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:18,837 Papa? Huh? 324 00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:20,411 They made it! 325 00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:23,506 Told you. Well, come on. 326 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:28,019 Come on, baby. 327 00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:31,286 (MAMA LAUGHING EXCITEDLY) 328 00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,086 Oh, my baby's home! 329 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,422 Hey, Mama. How you doing? 330 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:38,789 Well, well. Look who showed up. 331 00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:42,197 My grandson's father, Dr. RJ Stevens. 332 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:45,159 It's been a long time, Dr. Stevens. 333 00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:47,364 Dad, that's just a stage name. 334 00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:48,929 Yeah, I know. 335 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:51,166 Jamaal, welcome back. 336 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:52,710 Thanks, Papa Jenkins. 337 00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:57,078 Oh, and this is Blanca! Pretty girl, Roscoe. 338 00:16:57,149 --> 00:17:00,846 You must got some Indian in you, all that long, pretty hair. 339 00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:05,350 Roscoe, you been eating? You all skin and bone! 340 00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:07,688 Don't look like I never nourished you. 341 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,455 (LAUGHS) I know! Doesn't he look fabulous? 342 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,792 OTIS: Yeah, he looks fabulous, all right. 343 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,890 Downright metrosexual, with them young-ass pants on. 344 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:18,767 Oh, no. You should have seen his ensemble before his little accident. 345 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,270 It was exquisite. 346 00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,830 (LAUGHS) Are you kidding? Better than this? 347 00:17:24,843 --> 00:17:26,970 What? I didn't say "outfit." 348 00:17:27,446 --> 00:17:28,435 Got you! Pounced on you. 349 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:29,606 Get... Get off. Get off me! 350 00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:30,875 Let me see how strong you are. 351 00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:32,041 Otis! Yeah. 352 00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:33,209 (GRUNTING) Get off me. Come on. 353 00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:34,650 (LAUGHING) Just like old times again. 354 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,779 Lord, Otis. Do it, do it! Get out of it, then. 355 00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:38,186 Mama! Mama. Otis! Otis! 356 00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:39,349 Come on, boy, let's see what you got. 357 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:40,414 Let go of me, O. 358 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:44,588 Yeah, go ahead, do it. I want you to. Boy, introduce me. That's rude. 359 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:53,000 Bianca, this is my country, neckbone-eating brother, Otis. 360 00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:54,765 The sheriff. 361 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,638 Southern hospitality at your service. 362 00:17:57,709 --> 00:17:59,142 Get up off that! 363 00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:00,200 (CHUCKLING) 364 00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:01,472 This here is Ruthie. Hi. 365 00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:02,844 And that's my baby she's carrying. 366 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:06,009 Wow, Ruthie, you look like you're about to pop. 367 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,053 No, I'm just six months. 368 00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:10,884 But I bet y'all be loading up soon, huh? 369 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:14,454 (LAUGHING) Oh, God, no! Nothing's wrecking this figure. 370 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,184 Hmm. 371 00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:20,095 (NERVOUS LAUGH) At least not right now. Jamaal, say hello. 372 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,332 Are you really the sheriff? 373 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:23,390 Mmm-hmm. 374 00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:26,700 "To serve and protect." And occasionally whoop ass. 375 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,138 Meet your cousins. Junior! Callie! 376 00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:33,976 (LAUGHS) Oh, damn! What are they on? 377 00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:36,912 All steroids and no carbs? 378 00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:39,576 (LAUGHS) Them some thick-ass kids! 379 00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:42,119 No, I'm serious. Mama, them is thick-ass. No, I'm serious. 380 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:45,088 Like, they be 12. Them some thick-ass... 381 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,488 Respect... 382 00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:53,630 This here's your cousin Jamaal. 383 00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:56,065 Get him a bat, and get him some batting practice. 384 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,069 And, Callie, go easy on him. 385 00:18:58,437 --> 00:18:59,461 (SPITTING) 386 00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,233 You got it, Daddy. 387 00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:06,001 Come on, son. You and Granddad'll take them on together. 388 00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:08,978 You play baseball, don't you? 389 00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:10,674 All right, I guess. 390 00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:13,513 Well, Blanca, you want to come in the house and freshen up? 391 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:16,520 And, Roscoe, you get the bags and just take them up to your room. 392 00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:17,577 Okay. 393 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,021 And, baby, 394 00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:24,791 please find some clothes that fit. You got all your business in the street. 395 00:19:24,963 --> 00:19:26,794 (GRUNTS DISAGREEABLY) 396 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:31,732 Oh, God. It's good to see you, man. 397 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:36,171 Little help with the bags, O? 398 00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:40,610 Man, I ain't no bellhop. Plus, I ain't had my steroids today. 399 00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:42,604 (LAUGHS) Got you! 400 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,878 Southern hospitality! Yeah, right. 401 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,077 (SCOFFS) 402 00:19:47,152 --> 00:19:49,017 And next time you grabbing on people, 403 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:52,716 wear some deodorant, you little fake-ass Conan! 404 00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:57,351 Oh, shit! Mama! Mama! 405 00:19:57,429 --> 00:19:59,989 OTIS: Come here, boy! I'm an all-State linebacker! Look at that speed! 406 00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:02,465 RJ: Mama! I said leave me alone, O! Leave me alone! 407 00:20:03,468 --> 00:20:05,231 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 408 00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:08,265 (MAMA LAUGHING) 409 00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:11,903 MAMA: I haven't had so many people in the kitchen since I don't know when. 410 00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:13,501 No, you use this one. 411 00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:14,943 (EXCLAIMS) 412 00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:16,605 You a bad bitch! 413 00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,479 Oh! Oh! 414 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:22,281 Wait a minute, girl. I'm serious. I'm serious. You bad! 415 00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,220 You are the baddest bitch Survivor ever had. 416 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,758 Soon to be my sister-in-law, up in my kitchen, girl. 417 00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:29,191 I'm honored! 418 00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:30,285 Thank you. 419 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,953 All right, now, now, now, tell me the truth, okay? 420 00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:34,658 Tell me the truth, 'cause it's you and me. We relating. 421 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:38,134 Can that hook-head handle you? 'Cause, see, we a lot alike, Binaca. 422 00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:41,866 (LAUGHING) 'Cause we too much woman for one man! You feel me? 423 00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:44,001 Betty, let the child breathe. 424 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,202 Now, is the tea ready? 425 00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:46,335 It's right here, Mama. 426 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:47,742 Binaca, you got to try my tea, girl. 427 00:20:47,813 --> 00:20:51,806 I'm telling you right now, this tea right here ain't no joke, Balolo. 428 00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:53,009 Best in the county. 429 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,645 It's Bianca. That's what I said. 430 00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:57,746 And I'd love to. Cheers! 431 00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:02,985 (SHRIEKING) 432 00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,461 God, that's liquid diabetes! You drink that? 433 00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:06,519 (BIANCA EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) 434 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,657 No, no. No, no, wait a minute now, baby. 435 00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:10,326 Don't get all uppity, okay? 436 00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:12,666 'Cause I'm gonna let you know the brothers down at the pen, 437 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:16,265 they rave about my sweet tea every Sunday at my Bible reading. 438 00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:19,606 It ain't the sweet tea. It's them short skirts you be wearing. 439 00:21:19,678 --> 00:21:23,444 I'm just doing my part, trying to be a good Christian. 440 00:21:23,515 --> 00:21:26,712 And if them brothers need to get a peek at this thong 441 00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:29,345 to get them through them long lonely nights, 442 00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:34,984 then, Father God and all the heavens up above and the Episcopals, so be it! 443 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,391 Girl, don't make me sick. You know I'm pregnant. 444 00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:40,863 Thank you. Betty, your thong is an image I do not need. 445 00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:42,092 (CHUCKLES) Ditto. 446 00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:43,963 (MOCKING LAUGH) 447 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,025 BETTY: Wait a minute. 448 00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:48,129 Now, see, we trying to bond with you and everything, welcome you in, 449 00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:50,868 but you getting it twisted. You getting me twisted. 450 00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:53,035 But don't get it twisted. 451 00:21:53,111 --> 00:21:57,741 This kitchen here is my domain. My domain. This ain't no kennel. 452 00:21:57,849 --> 00:22:03,754 And then this lab rat got to go. Got to go. Do you hear me? Am I clear? I bites dogs. 453 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:04,982 (DOG WHINING) 454 00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,957 Know who I am, okay? 455 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:08,583 Now ditto that! 456 00:22:09,294 --> 00:22:12,161 AIRLINE EMPLO YEE.: Yes, sir. Can I help you? Yes, sir. Yeah, hello. 457 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:14,164 Yeah. What is your name? Patricia. 458 00:22:14,232 --> 00:22:15,563 Luqueesha? I can barely hear you. 459 00:22:15,634 --> 00:22:17,067 Look here, Luqueesha, somebody... 460 00:22:17,135 --> 00:22:18,830 Sir, could you please hold? 461 00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:20,428 Yeah, I'll hold. 462 00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:50,157 (DOG WHINING) 463 00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:53,297 (DOG PANTING) 464 00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:54,566 Bucky? 465 00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:58,538 You done messed around and got old, huh, Bucky? 466 00:22:58,610 --> 00:23:00,202 You still alive? 467 00:23:03,648 --> 00:23:05,775 Yeah, you used to terrorize me when I was little. 468 00:23:05,851 --> 00:23:10,185 I don't play that now, man. I'm a grown man. Look at me when I'm talking to you. 469 00:23:10,689 --> 00:23:13,283 I should kick you in your ass right now, Bucky. 470 00:23:13,358 --> 00:23:15,519 Yeah. Yeah, when you bit my ankle, I should... 471 00:23:15,594 --> 00:23:16,754 Hello, Dr. Stevens? 472 00:23:16,828 --> 00:23:18,420 Yeah, excuse me. 473 00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:19,555 We found your bag. 474 00:23:19,631 --> 00:23:20,996 Well, all right. Well, that's more like it. 475 00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:22,795 We just need an address. 476 00:23:22,868 --> 00:23:23,960 (GROANING) 477 00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:26,265 Get off me, you crazy dog! 478 00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:30,365 What the hell? 479 00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:40,013 You gonna stay inside all day, Dr. Stevens? 480 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,347 No, sir. 481 00:23:41,887 --> 00:23:44,822 Daddy, you don't have to call me that. 482 00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:46,653 I just don't want to offend the star. 483 00:23:46,725 --> 00:23:47,919 Offend me? 484 00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:52,555 Hey, hey, Daddy, how come you never opened this plasma? 485 00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:54,565 I don't need a skinny TV. 486 00:23:54,633 --> 00:23:57,966 That console's been there since 1977. Good picture. 487 00:23:59,204 --> 00:24:03,072 Daddy, this is a Hi-Def flat screen! 488 00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:07,111 Football on Sundays, them hits'll be like, "Boom!" 489 00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:08,908 Make you feel like you really there. 490 00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:11,005 I am really gonna be there. 491 00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:14,016 Your cousin Clyde gave me season tickets. 492 00:24:15,754 --> 00:24:18,746 See that picture? That's his third dealership. 493 00:24:20,091 --> 00:24:22,719 Man, that Clyde is something special. 494 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,328 Yeah, Clyde's special. 495 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:33,070 I gotta get outside. I'm grooming the next Jackie Robinson. My grandson. 496 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:41,836 (HUMMING) 497 00:24:47,752 --> 00:24:49,242 Reg. Huh? 498 00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:51,289 That don't look like $300 worth of ice. 499 00:24:51,356 --> 00:24:54,985 It's hot down here, man. Half of it melted before you even got down. 500 00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:56,857 I'm telling you, the bag was... 501 00:24:56,928 --> 00:24:59,328 It's hot down... Ask anybody about the heat, 'Scoe. 502 00:24:59,397 --> 00:25:00,625 I ain't gonna lie about none of that, man. 503 00:25:00,699 --> 00:25:02,291 Whatever. 504 00:25:02,367 --> 00:25:03,834 Hey, O. Yo. 505 00:25:03,902 --> 00:25:07,167 How old is crazy-ass Bucky? Shouldn't he be dead by now? 506 00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,400 Bucky's at least 25 now. 507 00:25:09,474 --> 00:25:11,169 Yeah. Yeah, that dog is old, boy. 508 00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:12,574 Are you serious? 509 00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:15,272 That's 175 people years! 510 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,440 And he's still a little player, I'm telling you. 511 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,746 You better watch little Fiona around here. 512 00:25:19,818 --> 00:25:24,016 He gonna hit her in the one that stink and not the one that wink. 513 00:25:24,089 --> 00:25:25,920 He good at scooping up behind you. 514 00:25:25,991 --> 00:25:27,549 (WHINING) 515 00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:31,858 So, did I hear Clyde was coming with Lucinda? 516 00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:35,890 Mmm-hmm. 517 00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:37,764 Should be here any minute now. 518 00:25:37,836 --> 00:25:38,894 (LAUGHS) 519 00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:40,198 I thought she was engaged. 520 00:25:40,272 --> 00:25:41,261 Uh-uh. 521 00:25:41,339 --> 00:25:42,772 That ended a while ago, baby bro. 522 00:25:42,841 --> 00:25:44,900 Yeah, that... Man, no, she moved to Atlanta, man, 523 00:25:44,976 --> 00:25:48,468 and that smooth nigga Clyde supposed to be hollering at her again. 524 00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:52,039 What you mean, "again"? He ain't never been with her. Never! 525 00:25:52,484 --> 00:25:54,816 Lookie here. Little Hollywood man. 526 00:25:54,886 --> 00:25:56,319 "He's never been with her. Never!" 527 00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:57,412 "Never!" 528 00:25:57,489 --> 00:26:01,050 (LAUGHING) What, you look like you trying to throw your hat in the ring. 529 00:26:01,126 --> 00:26:04,493 No, I'm just setting the record straight, bubblehead. 530 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:08,393 Set the record straight on this. Now. 531 00:26:08,466 --> 00:26:10,991 (WHOOPING) Good God Almighty, I smell them funky ribs! 532 00:26:11,069 --> 00:26:13,833 Yeah, baby, they're good, too. Here, baby bro. 533 00:26:13,939 --> 00:26:18,137 Now, I need your discriminate tongue to let me know if I'm still on track. 534 00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:20,234 You know how I gets down. 535 00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:26,612 Give him some bread and a Pepsi, right now! 536 00:26:26,685 --> 00:26:29,381 No, no, I'm cool. I'm gonna wait on the chicken. 537 00:26:30,622 --> 00:26:31,611 Skinless. 538 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,289 Why? You Muslim now? Yeah, what the hell? 539 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:35,485 You a Five Percenter? 540 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,584 Nah. 541 00:26:36,661 --> 00:26:40,620 I just adopted a low-fat, high-fiber diet. Bianca and I... 542 00:26:40,699 --> 00:26:41,723 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) 543 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:42,994 "Bianca and I..." I know what it is. 544 00:26:43,068 --> 00:26:45,866 The black Paris Hilton done sissified you off the pig. 545 00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:47,598 That's what's up. It ain't like that, O. 546 00:26:47,672 --> 00:26:50,505 Bullshit! You on that Hollywood shit. Nigga, please. 547 00:26:50,575 --> 00:26:55,512 Give me... Let me see this. You see this swine is fine, divine, sublime 548 00:26:55,580 --> 00:26:57,514 and right on time. Right on time! 549 00:26:57,582 --> 00:26:58,606 (BOTH LAUGHING) 550 00:26:58,683 --> 00:27:00,378 Man! Look at that. 551 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:01,612 Want some of this dipping sauce, baby? 552 00:27:01,686 --> 00:27:03,779 Yeah, go on. Get... Go on, taste a little piece of that. 553 00:27:03,855 --> 00:27:06,050 Don't be scared. You got on the Kwanzaa outfit now. 554 00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:08,649 Go on, get down, like you live. Go ahead and taste a piece of that. 555 00:27:08,727 --> 00:27:10,024 Bite that. Go on, man. 556 00:27:10,095 --> 00:27:12,393 How about a piece, Nelson Mandela? 557 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:13,761 Stop being so scary, man. 558 00:27:13,865 --> 00:27:16,265 Farrakhan ain't nowhere around here. 559 00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:17,596 Man! What's up, man? 560 00:27:17,669 --> 00:27:21,605 Come on! The Last King from Scotland. Look. 561 00:27:21,673 --> 00:27:23,334 With the Forest Whitaker eye. 562 00:27:23,408 --> 00:27:24,466 (LAUGHING) 563 00:27:24,542 --> 00:27:26,737 Wait, look. Put a little barbecue sauce on the dead eye. 564 00:27:26,811 --> 00:27:28,574 Might jump up out of there. 565 00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:29,545 (LAUGHING) 566 00:27:29,814 --> 00:27:31,475 OTIS: (LAUGHING) Boy, you crazy. 567 00:27:31,549 --> 00:27:33,540 (REGGIE AND OTIS CHATTERING) 568 00:27:33,618 --> 00:27:37,645 Yes, indeed, that's gonna be good! Stir that up for me, Bilante. 569 00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:42,485 Now, in episode 11, did you have to pull your titties out? 570 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,425 I had to have that chocolate cake. 571 00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:47,056 But you threw it up. On purpose. 572 00:27:47,132 --> 00:27:51,296 Whether on Survivor or in life, I believe in winning at all costs. 573 00:27:52,570 --> 00:27:55,505 That's why RJ and I are perfectly matched. 574 00:27:56,241 --> 00:27:58,232 (LAUGHING) 575 00:27:58,309 --> 00:27:59,970 Girl, you tripping. 576 00:28:00,045 --> 00:28:01,444 You better mind out, Betty. 577 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:02,810 Come on now, Mama. 578 00:28:02,881 --> 00:28:05,543 Roscoe and winning don't even go in the same sentence. 579 00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:08,108 Only Clyde gets that distinction. 580 00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:09,619 Who's Clyde? 581 00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:10,746 Oh. 582 00:28:10,822 --> 00:28:12,255 I'm glad you asked. 583 00:28:12,323 --> 00:28:15,850 Clyde is our cousin. He came to live with us once his folks went on to glory. 584 00:28:15,927 --> 00:28:18,953 They became famous and left their child behind? 585 00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:20,691 Bitch, are you crazy? 586 00:28:20,765 --> 00:28:23,996 They was in a car accident. They dead. Goddamn! 587 00:28:24,069 --> 00:28:28,699 Anyway, now Roscoe and Clyde was fierce rivals, though "rival" 588 00:28:28,773 --> 00:28:33,176 is not quite accurate, 'cause Clyde used to whoop Roscoe's tail in everything. 589 00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:35,337 I don't know about "everything," now, Betty. 590 00:28:35,413 --> 00:28:37,381 Everything, Mama! 591 00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:40,408 Basketball. 592 00:28:40,485 --> 00:28:41,679 YOUNG CLYDE: Game! 593 00:28:42,020 --> 00:28:43,317 Checkers. 594 00:28:45,657 --> 00:28:46,646 King me. 595 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,851 Chess. 596 00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:49,722 CLYDE: Checkmate. 597 00:28:49,794 --> 00:28:51,284 Arm wrestling. 598 00:28:51,362 --> 00:28:52,556 (KIDS LAUGHING) 599 00:28:53,098 --> 00:28:54,690 (LAUGHING) 600 00:28:54,766 --> 00:28:55,790 Oops. 601 00:28:55,867 --> 00:28:57,027 That was me. 602 00:28:57,535 --> 00:28:59,002 You're telling me RJ never won? 603 00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:00,162 Never. 604 00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:03,639 That is, of course, until the obstacle course in 1985. 605 00:29:04,109 --> 00:29:05,201 Obstacle course? 606 00:29:05,276 --> 00:29:07,403 BETTY.: Yep. It's a Jenkins family tradition. 607 00:29:07,479 --> 00:29:08,468 PAPA: Have fun, now! 608 00:29:08,546 --> 00:29:09,638 MAMA: Yeah! 609 00:29:09,714 --> 00:29:13,650 Clyde, Roscoe, we got our eyes on you! 610 00:29:13,718 --> 00:29:15,618 BETTY.: Clyde and Roscoe made a bet 611 00:29:15,687 --> 00:29:20,283 that the winner would get to ask Lucinda Allen to the Spring Formal. 612 00:29:20,358 --> 00:29:22,622 And who is Lucinda Allen? 613 00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:26,391 BETTY.: Only the most popular Southern belle to ever come out of these parts. 614 00:29:26,464 --> 00:29:28,625 The Spring Formal Queen that year. 615 00:29:28,700 --> 00:29:29,792 BIANCA.: So what happened? 616 00:29:29,868 --> 00:29:33,360 Girl, your man took off like a house on fire! 617 00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:34,962 (ALL CLAPPING) 618 00:29:36,574 --> 00:29:37,802 Come on! 619 00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:41,474 He moved through that obstacle course faster than a runaway slave. 620 00:29:41,546 --> 00:29:42,808 Doing it! 621 00:29:49,687 --> 00:29:53,646 Now, see, Clyde was right there with his skinny ass, baby, neck and neck. 622 00:29:53,725 --> 00:29:56,592 He was trying to hold on until the end. 623 00:29:56,661 --> 00:29:57,787 But old Roscoe... Come on! 624 00:29:57,862 --> 00:30:00,353 Old Roscoe broke that tape, baby. 625 00:30:00,431 --> 00:30:03,832 He smiled so hard, I thought his cheeks would burst. 626 00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:05,130 Yes! 627 00:30:05,203 --> 00:30:06,363 (ALL CHEERING) 628 00:30:06,437 --> 00:30:07,461 (WHOOPING) 629 00:30:07,539 --> 00:30:09,700 Yes! I won! 630 00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:12,606 BETTY.: I ain't never seen Mama and Daddy so proud as that day. 631 00:30:12,944 --> 00:30:14,002 Aw. 632 00:30:14,078 --> 00:30:17,275 BETTY: Now all Roscoe had to do was claim the real prize. 633 00:30:19,017 --> 00:30:21,042 Lucinda? Hey. 634 00:30:21,953 --> 00:30:24,751 Will you go to the Spring Formal with me? 635 00:30:25,890 --> 00:30:29,951 Oh, Roscoe, how sweet, but Clyde just asked me. 636 00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:35,159 Come on, Lucinda, let's get a strawberry soda. 637 00:30:35,233 --> 00:30:37,133 My treat. LUCINDA: Okay. 638 00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:40,035 Bye, Roscoe. Great race. 639 00:30:41,406 --> 00:30:42,771 Bye. 640 00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:44,468 BETTY.: I felt bad for the boy. 641 00:30:44,542 --> 00:30:45,668 (LAUGHING) 642 00:30:46,477 --> 00:30:50,208 Now, nobody knew about the bet, so Clyde just beat him to the punch. 643 00:30:50,281 --> 00:30:52,044 (SAVING ALL MY LO VE FOR YOU PLAYING) 644 00:30:52,116 --> 00:30:57,486 Clyde and Lucinda danced all night long, looking like eternal lovers. 645 00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:02,220 And Roscoe looked like a hot mess. 646 00:31:02,961 --> 00:31:05,759 And his date wasn't much better. 647 00:31:07,899 --> 00:31:09,264 Lord Jesus! 648 00:31:12,437 --> 00:31:15,873 But in typical Roscoe fashion, he snitched. 649 00:31:15,974 --> 00:31:17,202 But that mess backfired. 650 00:31:17,275 --> 00:31:22,474 Lucinda is a young lady, not some trophy you can win! 651 00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:25,149 I'm very disappointed in you. 652 00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:26,706 But what about Clyde? 653 00:31:26,784 --> 00:31:29,184 Clyde will be dealt with. 654 00:31:29,988 --> 00:31:33,355 Now drop your britches and bend over. 655 00:31:38,363 --> 00:31:39,455 (GULPS) 656 00:31:41,432 --> 00:31:42,490 Yipe! 657 00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:46,298 BETTY.: But that Clyde... Girl, he is a smooth operator. 658 00:31:46,371 --> 00:31:49,499 All right, what have you got to say for yourself? 659 00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,201 I let Roscoe win. 660 00:31:52,343 --> 00:31:55,005 It meant more to him to beat me, 661 00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:58,242 and it meant more to me to go out with Lucinda. 662 00:31:58,983 --> 00:32:00,780 She's so beautiful. 663 00:32:01,619 --> 00:32:03,382 I know you're disappointed, 664 00:32:04,389 --> 00:32:08,291 and if my parents were alive, they'd be disappointed, too. 665 00:32:08,359 --> 00:32:10,623 But you're the only parent I got, Papa Jenkins. 666 00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:13,960 So you do what you think is right. I'll understand. 667 00:32:18,636 --> 00:32:23,300 Don't you ever let something like this ever happen again. 668 00:32:23,374 --> 00:32:24,705 What? 669 00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:26,300 You understand? 670 00:32:29,914 --> 00:32:31,245 Yes, sir. 671 00:32:38,690 --> 00:32:41,386 BETTY.: He went upstairs and cried like a baby. 672 00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:44,722 Now, how you know Roscoe was crying? 673 00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:46,328 (CRYING) 674 00:32:46,397 --> 00:32:49,525 BETTY.: Because all his hollering woke me up from a sound sleep. 675 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:50,828 (LAUGHING) 676 00:32:51,536 --> 00:32:53,902 So, are they still an item? 677 00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:59,342 They dated awhile, but you know, the Queen is too pure for the likes of Clyde. 678 00:32:59,410 --> 00:33:01,002 He needs a real woman. 679 00:33:01,079 --> 00:33:02,171 Betty, y'all are cousins. 680 00:33:02,246 --> 00:33:03,304 Whatever! 681 00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:09,276 Now, the point is, Roscoe ain't been the same since Clyde stole Miss Lucinda. 682 00:33:10,755 --> 00:33:12,950 I think they call that "evolution." 683 00:33:13,024 --> 00:33:14,218 (GIGGLES) 684 00:33:14,292 --> 00:33:17,819 RJ's clearly over any childhood crush. 685 00:33:19,230 --> 00:33:20,629 BETTY: Really? Really. 686 00:33:20,698 --> 00:33:23,826 Well, where do you think that "Team of Me" mess started? 687 00:33:25,536 --> 00:33:26,560 (MOCKING LAUGH) 688 00:33:26,637 --> 00:33:28,764 All right, Betty, that is enough. 689 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,034 Okay, Mama, but I'm just saying... 690 00:33:30,108 --> 00:33:32,736 Come on in this house before I pop you. 691 00:33:32,810 --> 00:33:34,334 BETTY: Now, somebody help that white girl. 692 00:33:34,412 --> 00:33:37,347 She getting eggshells in the tater salad. Help her. 693 00:33:37,415 --> 00:33:40,179 MAMA: Always running your mouth! You talk too much. 694 00:33:40,251 --> 00:33:42,446 BETTY: Don't nobody want no crunchy-ass potato salad. 695 00:33:43,321 --> 00:33:45,289 And you put vinegar on these? Yeah. 696 00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:47,381 You gotta market these, O. 697 00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:48,891 (EXCLAIMS) 698 00:33:50,661 --> 00:33:52,128 RJ! Huh? 699 00:33:53,131 --> 00:33:54,996 What the hell are you eating? 700 00:33:55,767 --> 00:33:59,794 I'm not eating, baby, I'm tasting. These soy ribs. 701 00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:01,270 You want some? 702 00:34:01,339 --> 00:34:02,499 (GROANS) Forget it, carnivore! 703 00:34:03,574 --> 00:34:05,303 Why don't you tell me about Lucinda Allen? 704 00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:06,400 Oh. Oh, shit. 705 00:34:06,477 --> 00:34:07,842 RJ: Lucinda Allen? That was a bad one, right there. 706 00:34:07,945 --> 00:34:11,073 Well, see, I... Baby, she's just, you know... 707 00:34:11,149 --> 00:34:15,245 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Hey, Clyde's here now! 708 00:34:32,970 --> 00:34:34,995 (BEFORE I LET GO PLAYING) 709 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:47,384 Let me introduce you. 710 00:34:47,452 --> 00:34:49,215 CLYDE: What's up, family? 711 00:34:51,522 --> 00:34:54,184 Hi! (LAUGHING) Hey there, baby. What's up, baby? 712 00:34:54,258 --> 00:34:56,192 You looking sharp. Look at you. Girl, Betty, you too much. 713 00:34:56,260 --> 00:34:58,751 Clyde! What's up, O? What's up, Big Law? 714 00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:00,889 I see you ain't getting no bigger. Look at you, boy. 715 00:35:00,965 --> 00:35:01,954 Look at you, boy! 716 00:35:02,033 --> 00:35:03,364 OTIS: Lucinda, what's up, baby? 717 00:35:03,434 --> 00:35:05,129 (LAUGHING) Oh, my God, hi! 718 00:35:05,203 --> 00:35:06,397 Good seeing you, baby. 719 00:35:06,471 --> 00:35:08,803 Hey, look at you, boy. Look. You sure you our relative? 720 00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:10,837 Little Mexican! 721 00:35:10,908 --> 00:35:12,671 I got a little something for everybody! 722 00:35:12,743 --> 00:35:15,735 I stopped to pick up some red velvet cakes for the picnic. 723 00:35:15,813 --> 00:35:16,837 (GASPING) 724 00:35:16,914 --> 00:35:19,280 From Cooter's Bakery in Tuscaloosa? 725 00:35:19,350 --> 00:35:20,681 CLYDE: Yeah. 726 00:35:20,751 --> 00:35:23,811 Well, you only get one golden anniversary, Mama J. 727 00:35:23,888 --> 00:35:25,913 (EXCLAIMING) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah. 728 00:35:28,092 --> 00:35:29,821 Hey! Hey, now! 729 00:35:29,894 --> 00:35:33,352 (LAUGHING) There he is! What's up, Papa J? How you doing, man? 730 00:35:33,431 --> 00:35:35,126 Is the fountain of youth around here somewhere, 731 00:35:35,199 --> 00:35:36,291 or you been taking that Viagra? 732 00:35:36,367 --> 00:35:38,164 (LAUGHING) You better watch it. 733 00:35:38,469 --> 00:35:39,834 See, 'Cinda? Lucinda! 734 00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:41,428 I'm so glad to see you. Welcome home. 735 00:35:41,506 --> 00:35:42,598 Oh. Oh. 736 00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:48,839 Now that's nostalgia for you, right there. Family spirit award goes to Roscoe! 737 00:35:48,913 --> 00:35:51,507 Cross Colour Jones! Look at you, boy! 738 00:35:51,582 --> 00:35:53,675 Still wearing Otis' hand-me-downs. Come here, man. 739 00:35:53,751 --> 00:35:55,218 They're in the bag. 740 00:35:55,620 --> 00:35:58,316 Well, the airlines lost my bag, so... 741 00:35:58,789 --> 00:36:00,017 What's your excuse? 742 00:36:00,091 --> 00:36:02,855 Man... Hey, man, this that Tiger Hoods, man. 743 00:36:02,927 --> 00:36:05,487 You know me. I get my nine holes in. 744 00:36:06,697 --> 00:36:08,130 Roscoe Jenkins. 745 00:36:08,366 --> 00:36:09,355 (LAUGHING) 746 00:36:09,433 --> 00:36:10,422 Oh. 747 00:36:10,568 --> 00:36:12,331 Oh, it's been ages. 748 00:36:13,404 --> 00:36:15,634 Wow, it's been so long! 749 00:36:15,706 --> 00:36:17,571 (BIANCA CLEARS THROAT) 750 00:36:18,643 --> 00:36:21,203 Clyde, Lucinda, this is my fiancee... 751 00:36:22,346 --> 00:36:24,211 My fiancee... Bianca. 752 00:36:24,282 --> 00:36:25,909 Bianca Kittles. How you doing? Bianca! 753 00:36:25,983 --> 00:36:29,111 Sweeter than Skittles. Girl, you prettier in person. 754 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:30,518 Is that so? 755 00:36:32,023 --> 00:36:34,719 You find somebody that say different, see if I don't slap them to sleep. 756 00:36:34,792 --> 00:36:36,282 And I don't even get violent. 757 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,260 It's my pleasure, Bianca. 758 00:36:38,763 --> 00:36:42,028 Wow, congratulations, you two. The pleasure's mine. 759 00:36:46,070 --> 00:36:46,968 What's up with that? 760 00:36:47,238 --> 00:36:51,299 (SINGING) And, Lord, we thank you for the pork ribs, 761 00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:54,105 as well as, yes, the coleslaw, and... 762 00:36:54,178 --> 00:36:56,738 I hear what you're saying, but look, I gotta go. 763 00:36:56,814 --> 00:37:00,045 Thank You! And we thank You for the sweet potato pie, 764 00:37:00,117 --> 00:37:04,781 and, yes, for the scrumptious red velvet cakes from Cooter's! 765 00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,289 We thank You, Lord! And they all did say, 766 00:37:07,358 --> 00:37:09,258 ALL: Amen! 767 00:37:10,828 --> 00:37:12,762 We thank you for that beautiful benediction. 768 00:37:12,830 --> 00:37:14,422 You mean long. RUTHIE: Otis! 769 00:37:14,498 --> 00:37:17,592 Mama and I are just filled with joy 770 00:37:18,169 --> 00:37:22,629 that so many friends and family have joined us on this very special occasion. 771 00:37:22,807 --> 00:37:25,708 This woman has put up with me for five decades, 772 00:37:25,776 --> 00:37:29,268 and I love her now more than ever. Thank you, baby. 773 00:37:29,947 --> 00:37:32,472 All right, Papa J. Hear, hear, now. 774 00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:34,040 (ALL CHATTERING) 775 00:37:34,118 --> 00:37:37,110 BETTY: Clyde, you try some of this corn, baby? 776 00:37:37,188 --> 00:37:40,214 And don't you forget these rolls, 'cause I made them with you in mind. 777 00:37:40,291 --> 00:37:42,259 You butter the biscuits? (LAUGHING) You know I did. 778 00:37:42,326 --> 00:37:43,657 OTIS: Hey, Betty? Betty. 779 00:37:43,728 --> 00:37:44,820 What? 780 00:37:44,895 --> 00:37:48,023 He's your cousin, not a potential tip. 781 00:37:48,099 --> 00:37:50,067 You know what, Otis? Okay? Shut up. 782 00:37:50,134 --> 00:37:54,332 Now, I'm just glad to see him, that's all. And, and... Okay, you, too, queenie. 783 00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:57,567 Thank you, Betty. 784 00:37:58,442 --> 00:38:01,843 So, Lucinda, I hear you two were high school sweethearts. 785 00:38:01,912 --> 00:38:04,938 Oh, well, that was a long time ago. 786 00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:09,177 Yeah. But you never forget your first love. 787 00:38:09,253 --> 00:38:10,618 Ain't that right, 'Cinda? 788 00:38:10,688 --> 00:38:12,315 LUCINDA: Yeah, I guess not. 789 00:38:13,224 --> 00:38:16,250 Look at her. Just as beautiful as ever. 790 00:38:16,327 --> 00:38:18,295 You know, I'm gonna leave some of these hood-rats alone 791 00:38:18,362 --> 00:38:21,388 and get real serious about making this girl Mrs. Stubbs. 792 00:38:21,465 --> 00:38:23,626 You know, matter of fact, Otis, get me a broom right now. 793 00:38:23,701 --> 00:38:26,966 I'm gonna jump! Mazel tov! 794 00:38:27,838 --> 00:38:29,203 You know what I'm talking about, Otis? 795 00:38:29,273 --> 00:38:30,501 Don't believe this one, okay? 796 00:38:30,574 --> 00:38:33,873 He's more interested in jumping bones than jumping brooms. 797 00:38:33,944 --> 00:38:35,070 Ooh. 798 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:38,274 Well, best of luck to the both of you. You make a great couple. 799 00:38:38,349 --> 00:38:40,078 (COUGHING) Bullshit! 800 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:41,209 Betty! 801 00:38:41,919 --> 00:38:46,618 Excuse me, y'all, I had a piece of celery stuck in my throat. 802 00:38:46,691 --> 00:38:49,751 CLYDE: Well, you know, I admit it. I like to play. 803 00:38:50,561 --> 00:38:52,995 But, after I get me a couple of more dealerships, 804 00:38:53,064 --> 00:38:56,761 I will be King of the South, who will need his Queen. 805 00:38:59,970 --> 00:39:02,165 Well, my king has a surprise. 806 00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:08,742 RJ's having a professional camera crew film the anniversary banquet! 807 00:39:08,813 --> 00:39:09,905 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 808 00:39:09,980 --> 00:39:13,108 Tell them, honey! Go ahead! 809 00:39:14,552 --> 00:39:18,181 Like my baby said, it was supposed to be a surprise. 810 00:39:18,255 --> 00:39:24,524 A gift, really. You know, no big deal. Just a little something special for y'all. 811 00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:26,187 That's so sweet. 812 00:39:26,263 --> 00:39:28,993 Wait a minute. Hold up. Nigga, you got some cameras hidden around? 813 00:39:29,066 --> 00:39:30,465 You done brought some cameras? Reggie... 814 00:39:30,534 --> 00:39:34,163 You got that shit hidden around here? Oh, y'all seen his show. 815 00:39:34,238 --> 00:39:36,729 Roscoe be jumping out of bushes on little midgets. 816 00:39:36,807 --> 00:39:38,206 MAMA: Midgets? 817 00:39:38,275 --> 00:39:42,268 Neglected albino children. Al-Qaeda leaders. 818 00:39:42,346 --> 00:39:44,007 (CHANTING) 819 00:39:44,081 --> 00:39:47,278 Rice, chicken kebab, chicken falafel... 820 00:39:47,351 --> 00:39:49,148 (CHANTING) 821 00:39:49,854 --> 00:39:51,151 (LAUGHING) Boy, you crazy. I'm telling you, 822 00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:53,417 they be scattering like roaches, like Cops. 823 00:39:53,491 --> 00:39:56,289 You gonna win a Emmy, and I'm voting for you. 824 00:39:56,360 --> 00:40:01,593 Remember, son, this is a family celebration, not some Hollywood production. 825 00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:03,866 Yes, sir. 826 00:40:03,934 --> 00:40:06,232 Oh, hell, it'll be all right, Papa J. 827 00:40:07,037 --> 00:40:09,301 I'm sure old Roscoe gonna do the right thing. 828 00:40:09,373 --> 00:40:13,139 I'm just glad to see your baby boy back gracing us with his presence. 829 00:40:13,744 --> 00:40:15,336 You done good, 'Scoe. 830 00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:19,816 You got a outstanding career, beautiful fiancee, great son. 831 00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:22,449 You finally winning, man. 832 00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,751 Don't even matter that you could never beat me at nothing. 833 00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:28,782 (MOCKING LAUGH) Oh, shit! That's the button. 834 00:40:28,859 --> 00:40:30,724 RJ: What you trying to do, Clyde? 835 00:40:31,128 --> 00:40:34,427 I'm trying my best to be a better man 836 00:40:34,498 --> 00:40:37,558 and you trying to drag me into a penis-swinging contest? 837 00:40:37,635 --> 00:40:39,603 MAMA: Oh, my goodness. That definitely ain't no contest. 838 00:40:39,670 --> 00:40:41,160 (LAUGHING) 839 00:40:42,973 --> 00:40:47,706 You a sad man, Clyde. Your competitive edge imprisons you. 840 00:40:49,146 --> 00:40:52,877 Feel good for what you've done, not for what you haven't. 841 00:40:53,551 --> 00:40:57,715 The one loss you suffered at my hands is still a burden to you. 842 00:40:57,788 --> 00:41:00,416 Get over it. I have. 843 00:41:01,158 --> 00:41:03,422 That's the "Team of Me." 844 00:41:08,566 --> 00:41:09,828 (WHISPERS) That's right, baby. 845 00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:10,889 Oh. 846 00:41:11,001 --> 00:41:16,496 And just for the record, I'll beat you again. And worse. 847 00:41:17,341 --> 00:41:19,172 Is that right? 848 00:41:19,243 --> 00:41:22,041 Care to make it interesting? Little wager, perhaps? 849 00:41:22,112 --> 00:41:26,412 For what? You'd just find a way to renege again, renigga. 850 00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:27,610 ALL: Oh, shit. 851 00:41:27,685 --> 00:41:29,209 I ain't never reneged on no bet. 852 00:41:29,286 --> 00:41:30,378 You a damn liar! 853 00:41:30,454 --> 00:41:32,786 Oh, this is getting hot! 854 00:41:32,890 --> 00:41:35,825 You know damn well what the hell I'm talking about. 855 00:41:35,893 --> 00:41:39,090 You're a sore loser, and you stole what was mine. 856 00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:53,168 Lemonade is good, Mama. 857 00:41:55,646 --> 00:41:58,945 There it is. That bitch done made you tough, Roscoe. 858 00:42:00,484 --> 00:42:03,544 You hungry as shit, but that bitch done made you tough! 859 00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:06,656 (DOOR SLAMS) 860 00:42:06,724 --> 00:42:07,918 RJ: What is wrong with you? 861 00:42:07,992 --> 00:42:11,120 BIANCA: I can't believe you're still pining after the prom queen. 862 00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:13,186 We only said three words to each other! 863 00:42:13,264 --> 00:42:14,492 Forty words. 864 00:42:15,299 --> 00:42:17,893 And that Clyde, he's a smug son of a bitch. 865 00:42:17,968 --> 00:42:21,631 No wonder he's a car salesman. He's slick and unethical. 866 00:42:22,940 --> 00:42:25,875 Why the hell did you tell everybody about the camera crew? 867 00:42:25,943 --> 00:42:27,240 They were gonna see them anyway. 868 00:42:27,311 --> 00:42:30,644 And besides, we were losing ground. I had to make a move. 869 00:42:30,714 --> 00:42:33,148 Bianca, this is not Survivor! 870 00:42:33,817 --> 00:42:35,751 Oh, yes, it is. 871 00:42:36,854 --> 00:42:39,755 Look, baby, baby, baby. Listen. Listen. 872 00:42:41,358 --> 00:42:44,623 (SIGHS) Let's not fight, okay? I'm sorry. 873 00:42:44,695 --> 00:42:47,994 Lucinda was just a crush, but I moved on. 874 00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:51,565 So you're over her? 875 00:42:51,635 --> 00:42:53,796 How can I not be, with you as my lady? 876 00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:04,139 Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah! 877 00:43:04,448 --> 00:43:09,681 Oh, baby. All the time I spent here, I never got a little piece of nothing. 878 00:43:10,754 --> 00:43:14,451 No way. These walls are way too thin. 879 00:43:14,525 --> 00:43:16,925 And plus, your family listens. 880 00:43:16,994 --> 00:43:18,723 That's ridiculous! 881 00:43:19,697 --> 00:43:21,961 Look, now, I want to speak in tongues. 882 00:43:22,032 --> 00:43:23,624 (MUMBLING) 883 00:43:23,701 --> 00:43:25,498 Nope. Forget it. 884 00:43:26,737 --> 00:43:27,726 Damn! 885 00:43:33,577 --> 00:43:36,603 Think you so damn special. 886 00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:41,083 I sent a plasma, you bought cake. Negro, please! 887 00:43:41,151 --> 00:43:43,881 Hey, Roscoe, I didn't know you were still up. 888 00:43:43,954 --> 00:43:45,353 Hey, Lucinda, how you doing? 889 00:43:45,422 --> 00:43:46,821 I'm great. 890 00:43:46,890 --> 00:43:48,152 Who you talking to? 891 00:43:48,225 --> 00:43:49,283 Nobody. 892 00:43:49,827 --> 00:43:55,060 Well, actually, myself. I do that. You know, just practicing for the show. 893 00:43:55,132 --> 00:43:57,396 You know, keep it fresh, you know? 894 00:43:57,468 --> 00:44:00,437 Okay, I see. Can you take a break? 895 00:44:07,511 --> 00:44:08,671 Damn! 896 00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:11,838 This cake is scrumptious. 897 00:44:11,915 --> 00:44:13,041 I knew you'd like it. 898 00:44:13,117 --> 00:44:15,415 So, you said your publicist introduced you? 899 00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:18,922 Yeah. Well, yeah. 900 00:44:18,989 --> 00:44:22,550 We... We had her on the show after she won. 901 00:44:22,926 --> 00:44:26,555 And... We just sort of connected, you know? 902 00:44:26,630 --> 00:44:28,461 So how does she and Jamaal get along? 903 00:44:28,532 --> 00:44:29,590 Real good. 904 00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:32,158 You know, she got him eating right. 905 00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,228 Maternal stuff. 906 00:44:34,304 --> 00:44:35,464 He's a great kid. 907 00:44:35,572 --> 00:44:37,062 Oh, thank you. 908 00:44:39,710 --> 00:44:41,371 So, you and Clyde? 909 00:44:42,813 --> 00:44:46,340 No. He was a familiar face when I moved to Atlanta. 910 00:44:46,417 --> 00:44:49,147 He's sweet, but your cousin's a player. 911 00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:52,746 What happened to your engagement? Wasn't there some guy? 912 00:44:52,823 --> 00:44:55,121 Are you keeping tabs on me, Roscoe Jenkins? 913 00:44:55,192 --> 00:44:58,628 Well, no, no, I heard things. You know... Look at my ears. 914 00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:01,426 (LAUGHS) You know, I heard... I heard it. You know I heard it. 915 00:45:01,498 --> 00:45:02,988 (LAUGHING) You stupid. 916 00:45:04,435 --> 00:45:06,596 What did you hear? Huh? 917 00:45:06,670 --> 00:45:09,503 That I went to school to find a husband, right? 918 00:45:09,573 --> 00:45:12,872 See? Yeah, I did. I got engaged early. 919 00:45:13,811 --> 00:45:17,076 I had the vision of having a two-income household, 920 00:45:17,214 --> 00:45:21,514 three kids before 30, Sunday brunch with my homegirls... 921 00:45:22,019 --> 00:45:23,384 Sounds good to me. 922 00:45:23,454 --> 00:45:24,614 Don't it, though? 923 00:45:26,290 --> 00:45:31,057 But the student loans never go away, you're still broke after grad school, 924 00:45:32,596 --> 00:45:34,257 and he didn't want kids. 925 00:45:35,966 --> 00:45:37,092 Ever. 926 00:45:38,235 --> 00:45:40,294 So... Dream deferred. 927 00:45:42,072 --> 00:45:43,437 I feel you. 928 00:45:44,341 --> 00:45:47,105 Me and Jamaal's mom was a disaster. 929 00:45:48,479 --> 00:45:52,848 I wasn't ready to be a parent, either. But he's my son. 930 00:45:54,351 --> 00:45:56,649 Spoken like a true Jenkins man. 931 00:46:05,562 --> 00:46:06,961 You need to finish that cake. 932 00:46:07,030 --> 00:46:08,395 (EXCLAIMS) Shit. 933 00:46:08,465 --> 00:46:10,831 'Cause if I don't watch this figure, who will? 934 00:46:10,901 --> 00:46:12,960 I could think of some takers. 935 00:46:13,036 --> 00:46:17,370 Me, too! Sign me up for that booty duty! 936 00:46:17,441 --> 00:46:20,501 Hey, Reggie. We were just saying good night. 937 00:46:20,577 --> 00:46:22,909 Hell, no, don't let me interrupt. Don't let me interrupt. 938 00:46:22,980 --> 00:46:24,504 Don't let him interrupt. 939 00:46:24,581 --> 00:46:26,776 LUCINDA: Oh, no, no, no. It's okay. 940 00:46:26,850 --> 00:46:31,116 I need to go home and see my parents, and I'll talk to you guys tomorrow. Okay? 941 00:46:32,122 --> 00:46:33,987 Good night. Good night. 942 00:46:42,933 --> 00:46:46,460 Tell the truth. You got a woody, don't you? 943 00:46:46,670 --> 00:46:49,195 Fool, if I had a woody, I'd flip this table over. 944 00:46:49,306 --> 00:46:50,967 We was just catching up. 945 00:46:51,942 --> 00:46:55,571 Your daddy don't want that plasma you bought. I'll just tell you that right now. 946 00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:59,138 And it's a damn shame that it's just going to waste like that. 947 00:46:59,983 --> 00:47:03,248 Just a TV, just sitting there, ain't gonna do nothing, man, is... 948 00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,311 There's so many poor people down here that need... 949 00:47:05,389 --> 00:47:07,584 Would you like that... That plasma, Reggie? 950 00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:09,683 I... Boy, I ain't lying. I could use it. 951 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,057 Well, would you like to have it? 952 00:47:11,128 --> 00:47:14,427 Yeah! I'm gonna get it and freak it. I'm gonna have it right. 953 00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:16,193 Not gonna happen. 954 00:47:16,266 --> 00:47:18,291 Just tight. That's just... 955 00:47:18,368 --> 00:47:19,892 (ULULATING) 956 00:47:20,437 --> 00:47:23,065 Hey, Lone Ranger, it's time to saddle up. 957 00:47:23,974 --> 00:47:24,963 Uh-oh. 958 00:47:25,042 --> 00:47:26,304 Gotta go. 959 00:47:26,376 --> 00:47:29,903 Hi-yo, Silver! Off to the ATM machine! 960 00:47:32,950 --> 00:47:34,850 Giddy-up! Yes. 961 00:47:34,918 --> 00:47:36,385 Giddy-up! 962 00:47:40,824 --> 00:47:43,019 It's gonna be a long weekend. 963 00:48:28,872 --> 00:48:30,464 (FARTS) 964 00:48:30,540 --> 00:48:31,564 Excuse me. 965 00:48:31,642 --> 00:48:32,734 (FARTS LOUDER) 966 00:48:32,809 --> 00:48:33,901 Excuse. 967 00:48:36,780 --> 00:48:38,941 Baby, my Downward Dog is fine. 968 00:48:39,016 --> 00:48:40,278 Your alignment's off. 969 00:48:41,051 --> 00:48:42,450 Watch me. 970 00:48:42,519 --> 00:48:43,850 (INHALES) 971 00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:46,886 (EXHALES) 972 00:48:48,825 --> 00:48:51,487 Damn, you are flexible! 973 00:48:51,561 --> 00:48:53,085 Good morning, Reggie. 974 00:48:53,163 --> 00:48:54,596 Good morning to you! 975 00:48:54,665 --> 00:48:55,859 What's up, 'Scoe? 976 00:48:55,933 --> 00:48:57,400 Fuck you looking at, Reggie? 977 00:48:57,467 --> 00:49:00,027 You wanna glue your eyes back into your head, now? 978 00:49:00,103 --> 00:49:03,698 Oh, my fault. I didn't mean to look, but I was just checking out the pose, man. 979 00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:06,140 Hey! That is nice. That's hot. That is so hot. 980 00:49:06,209 --> 00:49:08,302 Can I help you with something, Reggie? 981 00:49:08,378 --> 00:49:09,367 Oh, your bag is here. 982 00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:11,471 You couldn't just say that from Jump Street. 983 00:49:11,548 --> 00:49:13,743 I was distracted, 'cause it looked like somebody hit you in the face 984 00:49:13,817 --> 00:49:15,182 with a sack of nickels. 985 00:49:15,252 --> 00:49:17,777 Well, maybe a foot in your ass'll help you focus, huh? 986 00:49:17,854 --> 00:49:21,119 Maybe a slice of red velvet cake'll help you focus. 987 00:49:27,130 --> 00:49:30,293 Man, get your look and move on. One look. 988 00:49:33,470 --> 00:49:34,664 BIANCA: And down. 989 00:49:34,738 --> 00:49:36,228 That's it. One. One! 990 00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:37,773 One more, one more, one time. 991 00:49:37,841 --> 00:49:39,832 That's it. Move on! 992 00:49:39,910 --> 00:49:41,935 Oh, my God. Damn, 'Scoe! 993 00:49:42,012 --> 00:49:43,240 BIANCA: Namaste. 994 00:49:44,281 --> 00:49:45,714 Oh! Hey. 995 00:49:46,350 --> 00:49:48,545 Reggie's got a Frank Aaron jersey, too, baby. 996 00:49:48,618 --> 00:49:51,951 That's Hank, baby. And mine is a limited edition. 997 00:49:52,022 --> 00:49:54,320 Reggie wouldn't even know where to look for one. 998 00:49:54,391 --> 00:49:55,722 Oh, it's your world, player. 999 00:49:55,792 --> 00:49:59,353 I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut, if you know what I mean. 1000 00:49:59,429 --> 00:50:00,418 (DOG WHIMPERS) 1001 00:50:00,497 --> 00:50:01,521 Mmm. 1002 00:50:01,598 --> 00:50:05,591 Man, you need to get her pregnant soon. Come on, Bucky, let's go. 1003 00:50:14,378 --> 00:50:16,369 My God. Did you see that? 1004 00:50:18,315 --> 00:50:19,509 Yeah. 1005 00:50:19,950 --> 00:50:21,178 That's my jersey, ain't it? 1006 00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:25,318 Come on, Jamaal. 1007 00:50:25,389 --> 00:50:27,482 I don't think I'm cut out for softball. 1008 00:50:27,557 --> 00:50:29,320 Don't be such a girl about it. 1009 00:50:30,894 --> 00:50:33,590 Jamaal, forget all that. You a natural. 1010 00:50:34,164 --> 00:50:36,962 Plus, this was your dad's sport. All right? 1011 00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:41,368 The main thing is to relax and keep cool. Just like your dad. 1012 00:50:41,538 --> 00:50:44,473 RJ: Come on, we got them, we got them! We got them, come on, we got them! 1013 00:50:44,541 --> 00:50:45,667 We got them! 1014 00:50:45,742 --> 00:50:47,972 CLYDE: You out, sucka! Damn it! 1015 00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:49,103 CLYDE: Good throw, Betty! 1016 00:50:49,179 --> 00:50:51,613 How could this fool steal everything but third? 1017 00:50:51,681 --> 00:50:55,981 'Cause I got a cannon in this arm, boy! A-Rod ain't stealing on me. 1018 00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:58,078 Damn, I'm a thief. I don't never get caught stealing. 1019 00:50:58,155 --> 00:51:00,316 Can't steal third, brother, not around here. 1020 00:51:00,390 --> 00:51:01,857 My shirt! Go home, man. 1021 00:51:01,925 --> 00:51:04,860 Yeah, my fault. This ain't authentic, is it? 1022 00:51:07,631 --> 00:51:09,599 Where does that child think she is? 1023 00:51:09,666 --> 00:51:10,690 I don't know. 1024 00:51:10,767 --> 00:51:14,225 But I bet that come with paint remover. Good God! 1025 00:51:14,771 --> 00:51:17,001 RJ: Jamaal! Widen your stance, son. 1026 00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:19,304 Keep your eye on the ball. Choke up on the bat. 1027 00:51:19,443 --> 00:51:20,842 Focus. Okay. 1028 00:51:21,445 --> 00:51:23,003 BETTY: Do what your father told you, okay? 1029 00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:26,015 Now, don't be scared of Callie. I know she's big. 1030 00:51:26,283 --> 00:51:29,116 We all big. That's why you in question. 1031 00:51:29,186 --> 00:51:30,517 RJ: Jamaal! Focus. 1032 00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:33,446 PAPA: All right, it's 0 and 2. Come on, Jamaal. 1033 00:51:35,225 --> 00:51:36,249 Strike three! 1034 00:51:36,326 --> 00:51:37,520 MAMA: That's all right, baby. 1035 00:51:38,495 --> 00:51:40,429 That's a good try. God, this kid's pathetic! 1036 00:51:40,497 --> 00:51:42,021 You're making Grandma proud. 1037 00:51:42,099 --> 00:51:43,327 PAPA: Good try, Jamaal. 1038 00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:44,867 BETTY: No, no, it wasn't, Daddy. 1039 00:51:44,968 --> 00:51:47,528 Now, what is he, Roscoe? One of them meatless people? 1040 00:51:47,604 --> 00:51:49,435 Is he one of them vegans or vogans, whatever? 1041 00:51:49,506 --> 00:51:52,202 You need to feed that child, Roscoe, that's what's wrong with him! 1042 00:51:52,275 --> 00:51:55,733 You ain't giving him enough... 1043 00:51:55,812 --> 00:51:56,972 LUCINDA: Good one, Callie! 1044 00:51:57,047 --> 00:52:00,039 BETTY: Can't understand nothing. He's dumb in the brain. 1045 00:52:03,620 --> 00:52:06,316 MAMA: Come on, Roscoe! Hit one for Mama! 1046 00:52:06,389 --> 00:52:08,118 All I need you to do is make contact. 1047 00:52:08,191 --> 00:52:09,249 I got this. 1048 00:52:09,326 --> 00:52:11,817 You got a strikeout a-coming if you ain't careful. 1049 00:52:11,895 --> 00:52:15,456 "Youse got a strikeout coming if you ain't careful. 1050 00:52:15,532 --> 00:52:17,261 "Boy, youse gonna..." 1051 00:52:18,668 --> 00:52:20,727 OTIS: Y'all don't take the smile for a weakness all the time, okay? 1052 00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:21,862 REGGIE: I've never thought that. 1053 00:52:21,938 --> 00:52:22,962 Y'all think I'm weak or something. 1054 00:52:23,039 --> 00:52:24,131 No, I don't think you weak. 1055 00:52:24,207 --> 00:52:27,005 Okay. Don't. Okay. I thought you was Uncle Ben. 1056 00:52:27,744 --> 00:52:28,733 CLYDE: Hey. 1057 00:52:29,713 --> 00:52:31,340 Take a seat. Let me get this, right here. 1058 00:52:31,548 --> 00:52:35,507 All right. That's what I'm talking 'bout, now! Let the games begin! Come on, baby! 1059 00:52:36,853 --> 00:52:38,718 What the hell you think you doing, Clyde? 1060 00:52:38,788 --> 00:52:40,915 I'm about to strike you out, player! 1061 00:52:40,991 --> 00:52:43,551 I've got a narrow strike zone, boy. 1062 00:52:43,627 --> 00:52:44,821 CLYDE: Oh, that's all right, Papa J. 1063 00:52:44,895 --> 00:52:47,864 Anything wider than Roscoe head would be unfair. 1064 00:52:47,931 --> 00:52:49,228 (ALL LAUGHING) 1065 00:52:49,299 --> 00:52:51,096 Everybody sit down. Have a seat. 1066 00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:54,467 Take a load off. Get comfortable. Don't worry about it. 1067 00:52:54,538 --> 00:52:57,735 Bring the La-Z-Boys out here or something. Come on, boy. 1068 00:52:57,807 --> 00:52:59,707 I got this, right here. 1069 00:53:00,510 --> 00:53:03,240 What's up, 'Scoe? You ready? 1070 00:53:03,313 --> 00:53:05,679 You want to be in the big time? Here we go, yeah. 1071 00:53:05,749 --> 00:53:07,512 BETTY: Right here, baby! 1072 00:53:08,418 --> 00:53:09,407 Strike! 1073 00:53:10,620 --> 00:53:11,712 (WHOOPING) 1074 00:53:11,788 --> 00:53:14,348 That's better than air conditioning right there, boy. 1075 00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:15,857 (IMITATES SHIVERING) 1076 00:53:15,926 --> 00:53:17,689 (LAUGHING) Feel that breeze? 1077 00:53:18,228 --> 00:53:19,820 Come on, Roscoe! 1078 00:53:20,463 --> 00:53:24,194 They just talking smack, baby. You can do it, baby! 1079 00:53:24,267 --> 00:53:26,667 Focus, RJ! Come on. Get a hit! 1080 00:53:27,938 --> 00:53:28,962 (EXCLAIMS) 1081 00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:30,631 "Focus, RJ!" 1082 00:53:31,641 --> 00:53:36,078 All right, everybody good? Betty, all right, give me a little something. 1083 00:53:36,513 --> 00:53:37,571 Okay. 1084 00:53:42,953 --> 00:53:46,184 Okay, I got you. Good to go. All right, cool, cool, cool. 1085 00:53:48,325 --> 00:53:49,349 Right here. 1086 00:53:57,434 --> 00:53:59,095 Crush it! Kill it! 1087 00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:02,929 (GRUNTS) 1088 00:54:03,006 --> 00:54:03,995 (EXCLAIMS) 1089 00:54:04,074 --> 00:54:05,666 You hit my mama! Mama! 1090 00:54:05,742 --> 00:54:07,141 BETTY: Oh, my God! CLYDE: Oh, no, no! 1091 00:54:07,210 --> 00:54:08,438 Mama J! 1092 00:54:08,511 --> 00:54:09,603 MAMA: Oh, Jesus. 1093 00:54:10,947 --> 00:54:13,882 REGGIE: That done knocked the wig off and everything. Damn! 1094 00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:19,010 RJ: Hey, get off me about it right now. 1095 00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:20,852 OTIS: Oh, really? Get off you about it? RJ: That's right. 1096 00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:23,324 Yeah, okay? Stop sweating me about it. 1097 00:54:23,393 --> 00:54:25,054 But I was trying to tell you to wait on the flutterball. 1098 00:54:25,128 --> 00:54:27,289 You up there swinging like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, 1099 00:54:27,364 --> 00:54:29,889 now my mama got a red titty on her head! 1100 00:54:29,966 --> 00:54:31,126 She's my mama, too, O. 1101 00:54:31,201 --> 00:54:33,499 We don't know that. You could be adopted. 1102 00:54:33,737 --> 00:54:37,173 Look, I gotta get the fish. Meet me at Monty's. Can you do that? 1103 00:54:40,610 --> 00:54:44,603 Mama, I'm sorry. Really sorry, Mama. 1104 00:54:44,681 --> 00:54:47,650 I know, baby. Mama'll be all right. 1105 00:54:47,717 --> 00:54:50,845 Heck, Mama, I was trying to hit it out the park. I didn't know it was going that way. 1106 00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:53,115 I'm getting my headache, baby. Be quiet. 1107 00:54:54,224 --> 00:54:55,316 Daddy... 1108 00:54:55,392 --> 00:54:57,553 Son, we all make mistakes. 1109 00:54:57,927 --> 00:54:59,861 We just have to learn from them. 1110 00:55:00,764 --> 00:55:05,360 Though I don't know what you learn by giving your mama a concussion. 1111 00:55:10,240 --> 00:55:11,605 OFFICER: Hey, Big O! 1112 00:55:12,409 --> 00:55:14,673 I don't know how you take it down here, O. 1113 00:55:14,944 --> 00:55:17,504 Man, you was the best linebacker in the state. 1114 00:55:17,580 --> 00:55:20,048 If it wasn't for your knee injury, shoot! 1115 00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:24,951 Man, you'd be in the NFL, living in a mansion, driving a Benz. 1116 00:55:25,355 --> 00:55:28,347 Yeah, that's good, man. But, you know, it wasn't in God's plans for me. 1117 00:55:28,458 --> 00:55:31,655 God's plan is cool, but you needed the "Me" plan. 1118 00:55:31,728 --> 00:55:36,028 Oh, man, stop talking that bullshit. I ain't no failure. I'm a king. 1119 00:55:36,099 --> 00:55:37,396 I got a great family, 1120 00:55:37,467 --> 00:55:40,925 I live in a great community that I love and that loves me back. 1121 00:55:41,004 --> 00:55:41,993 You the failure. 1122 00:55:42,072 --> 00:55:43,539 How do you figure that? 1123 00:55:44,007 --> 00:55:45,031 I made it. 1124 00:55:45,108 --> 00:55:47,872 Oh, why? 'Cause you got some money? 'Cause you on TV? 1125 00:55:47,944 --> 00:55:49,377 What else you got to show for it? 1126 00:55:49,446 --> 00:55:51,380 Everything I ain't have growing up. 1127 00:55:51,448 --> 00:55:54,212 What you ain't have that was that important? 1128 00:55:54,651 --> 00:55:57,119 Hey, why don't Jamaal know how to play baseball? 1129 00:55:57,487 --> 00:56:00,149 You used to love to play, and you was halfway decent. 1130 00:56:00,223 --> 00:56:04,626 Man, I ain't got time for all that. Besides, Jamaal only loves soccer. 1131 00:56:05,128 --> 00:56:08,757 I think Jamaal would love whatever sport his father showed interest in. 1132 00:56:08,832 --> 00:56:11,460 (MOCKING LAUGH) Oh, so you a parenting expert, now? 1133 00:56:12,736 --> 00:56:16,866 Man, all I'm saying is don't let money raise your kids. 1134 00:56:16,940 --> 00:56:19,738 Well, don't let cornbread and chitlins raise yours. 1135 00:56:20,410 --> 00:56:22,503 What you looking at me like that for, O? 1136 00:56:22,846 --> 00:56:26,509 Yeah, I said it. Why you approaching me? 1137 00:56:26,716 --> 00:56:28,013 I just didn't hear you. 1138 00:56:28,084 --> 00:56:29,449 I said what you looking at me like that for? 1139 00:56:29,519 --> 00:56:30,781 Ain't nobody scared of you. 1140 00:56:30,854 --> 00:56:32,287 What'd you say before that? 1141 00:56:32,422 --> 00:56:33,548 Don't let what? 1142 00:56:33,623 --> 00:56:36,285 Don't let chitlins, cornbread, ham hocks, 1143 00:56:36,426 --> 00:56:39,122 cheese sticks or none of that raise your kids. 1144 00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:43,461 That's what I said. What, you got hostility? What, what... What's happening? 1145 00:56:43,533 --> 00:56:46,525 This ain't your little brother no more, O. I'm a grown man. 1146 00:56:46,636 --> 00:56:48,627 You know, I don't get ass whoopings, I give 'em out. 1147 00:56:48,705 --> 00:56:49,729 Mmm-hmm? 1148 00:56:49,806 --> 00:56:52,434 You a officer here in Mayberry. 1149 00:56:52,509 --> 00:56:55,410 Come on... What you carry? A flashlight and a baton? 1150 00:56:55,478 --> 00:56:58,003 A'ight. Tell you what. Maybe... 1151 00:56:58,248 --> 00:57:01,945 If you a good old boy, I hire you as my security. 1152 00:57:02,018 --> 00:57:03,918 (LAUGHS) Yeah, I got the pull. I can do it. 1153 00:57:04,587 --> 00:57:05,815 Big-ass... 1154 00:57:10,660 --> 00:57:15,461 Now you and Mama got matching titties. Maybe y'all are related. 1155 00:57:29,479 --> 00:57:31,276 (FUNK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 1156 00:57:38,288 --> 00:57:42,054 You know, you should do a show about scrawny little brothers 1157 00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:46,528 that constantly get bitched. Look at your head! 1158 00:57:47,630 --> 00:57:51,225 Yeah, but... Thank you. But my next show gonna be about prison hoes 1159 00:57:52,368 --> 00:57:55,804 who mask conjugal visits as Bible readings. 1160 00:57:55,872 --> 00:58:00,866 Yeah, it's gonna be called "Bible Thumpers or Bible Humpers?" 1161 00:58:00,944 --> 00:58:02,434 You available? 1162 00:58:02,512 --> 00:58:04,412 (LAUGHING) 1163 00:58:04,481 --> 00:58:05,948 You got time? 1164 00:58:09,819 --> 00:58:10,877 What you feeling? 1165 00:58:11,254 --> 00:58:15,714 Oh. Oh, okay. You better get your Butterfinger-eating ass back in the car. 1166 00:58:15,792 --> 00:58:18,090 I may not hit a woman, but I'll beat a bitch's ass. 1167 00:58:18,161 --> 00:58:19,423 Oh, is that what you gonna do? Yeah. 1168 00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:20,554 That's what you gonna do? What? 1169 00:58:20,630 --> 00:58:22,097 You gonna beat a bitch's ass? Oh... Oh... 1170 00:58:22,165 --> 00:58:23,757 What bitch you gonna beat, 'Scoe? 1171 00:58:23,833 --> 00:58:25,926 What bitch you gonna beat, huh, 'Scoe? That's what it's like? 1172 00:58:26,002 --> 00:58:27,026 Is that what it's like? Hold up. 1173 00:58:27,103 --> 00:58:28,434 What bitch you gonna beat, 'Scoe? 1174 00:58:29,706 --> 00:58:32,140 You snapped my neck, little... Look out! You didn't know. Golden glove. 1175 00:58:32,208 --> 00:58:34,802 Watch. I'm gonna give you a dirty, South-ass whipping, boy! 1176 00:58:34,878 --> 00:58:38,075 Come on, come on! Bring it back! Bring it back, punk! Come on, bring it on back! 1177 00:58:38,147 --> 00:58:39,409 (SCREAMING) 1178 00:58:39,482 --> 00:58:40,710 Oh! 1179 00:58:40,783 --> 00:58:43,684 Roscoe, get your damn... Get off of me, 'Scoe! 1180 00:58:43,753 --> 00:58:45,118 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1181 00:58:45,188 --> 00:58:48,157 That ain't weave, fool! You gonna be sorry! 1182 00:58:48,224 --> 00:58:49,885 (GRUNTING) 1183 00:58:49,959 --> 00:58:55,420 Wait a minute! You done pulled out my damn tracks! What you gonna do, RJ? 1184 00:58:55,532 --> 00:58:59,559 I'm sick of you! I'm sick! Say you sorry. Say uncle. Say uncle! Say uncle! 1185 00:58:59,636 --> 00:59:03,595 Say it! Talk your shit now, you fake-ass Bruce Lee! 1186 00:59:03,973 --> 00:59:05,270 You wanna get up? You wanna get up? 1187 00:59:05,341 --> 00:59:09,107 Come on, come on. I done told you about your mouth! 1188 00:59:09,512 --> 00:59:11,878 I am not a ho! 1189 00:59:11,981 --> 00:59:15,178 I am doing God's work! Say, "Praise the Lord!" 1190 00:59:15,251 --> 00:59:16,479 (GRUNTS) 1191 00:59:16,553 --> 00:59:18,180 (GROANING) 1192 00:59:18,254 --> 00:59:22,748 Now I'm gonna tell you something. You'd better be glad I'm a good Christian, 1193 00:59:22,892 --> 00:59:26,123 'cause the next time I might not be so merciful. 1194 00:59:26,195 --> 00:59:29,255 You done made me lose my protection from the Lord. 1195 00:59:29,332 --> 00:59:32,631 Father God, forgive him, for he know not what he do. 1196 00:59:33,436 --> 00:59:35,734 I'm gonna pray for you, Roscoe. 1197 00:59:37,206 --> 00:59:39,071 Thank you, I... 1198 00:59:41,878 --> 00:59:43,311 (WEAK COUGH) 1199 00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:54,856 (GROANING) 1200 01:00:00,563 --> 01:00:02,030 RJ: Hey, Lucinda. 1201 01:00:02,098 --> 01:00:04,532 Oh, my God! Roscoe, are you okay? 1202 01:00:05,468 --> 01:00:06,992 What do you mean? 1203 01:00:07,070 --> 01:00:10,039 Well, your face looks like you got run over by a tractor. 1204 01:00:10,106 --> 01:00:12,666 Really? I feel fine. 1205 01:00:12,742 --> 01:00:15,142 Well, it looks terrible. Here, sit. 1206 01:00:19,515 --> 01:00:20,539 (CHUCKLES) 1207 01:00:20,617 --> 01:00:21,982 Oh, my God. 1208 01:00:23,486 --> 01:00:24,578 Here. 1209 01:00:25,088 --> 01:00:26,453 (GRUNTING) 1210 01:00:27,256 --> 01:00:28,848 That feels good. 1211 01:00:30,126 --> 01:00:32,060 Good, good. 1212 01:00:32,829 --> 01:00:36,765 Hey, it might be a good idea to stop teasing everybody. 1213 01:00:37,300 --> 01:00:38,324 (LAUGHS) 1214 01:00:38,401 --> 01:00:39,993 This is nothing. 1215 01:00:40,403 --> 01:00:42,064 Why you trying to front? 1216 01:00:42,138 --> 01:00:43,298 I'm not fronting. 1217 01:00:43,740 --> 01:00:45,173 (EXCLAIMS IN PAIN) 1218 01:00:45,241 --> 01:00:48,608 See? See? You know you're hurting. 1219 01:00:50,647 --> 01:00:53,844 The Roscoe Jenkins I knew would've owned up to it. 1220 01:00:54,584 --> 01:00:57,883 Well, this is RJ Stevens you're tending to now, girl. 1221 01:00:57,954 --> 01:01:01,617 Yeah, the new and improved Roscoe 7.0. 1222 01:01:03,626 --> 01:01:08,029 I think Roscoe 1.0 was just fine. 1223 01:01:15,204 --> 01:01:16,603 Oh! 1224 01:01:16,673 --> 01:01:17,731 I didn't know you were back. 1225 01:01:17,807 --> 01:01:20,207 We weren't doing nothing! 1226 01:01:22,145 --> 01:01:24,010 Nothing much, that is. 1227 01:01:26,849 --> 01:01:31,013 Well, good. Why don't you give me a hand, Roscoe? 1228 01:01:31,988 --> 01:01:33,285 Papa J, I thought you wanted me to help. 1229 01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:35,950 No, that's all right. Roscoe's got this. 1230 01:01:36,025 --> 01:01:38,721 Yeah, I got this. 1231 01:01:50,940 --> 01:01:52,271 (HAMMERING) 1232 01:01:53,743 --> 01:01:55,370 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 1233 01:01:56,713 --> 01:02:00,581 Son, you are ready to get married, aren't you? 1234 01:02:01,484 --> 01:02:02,951 (CHUCKLES) 1235 01:02:03,019 --> 01:02:06,819 Of course! Yeah. Why do you ask? 1236 01:02:07,924 --> 01:02:10,324 Well, if I didn't know any better, 1237 01:02:10,393 --> 01:02:13,453 I'd think there's something going on between you and Lucinda. 1238 01:02:13,529 --> 01:02:16,965 Oh, no! I'm just, you know... 1239 01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:19,734 We're just catching up. 1240 01:02:20,436 --> 01:02:23,530 Daddy, the wedding is gonna be hot. 1241 01:02:24,307 --> 01:02:27,299 Got the caterer, R. Kelly's singing... 1242 01:02:27,677 --> 01:02:30,771 Beyonce is gonna choreograph the Electric Slide. 1243 01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:34,078 Roscoe, I think you know what I'm saying. 1244 01:02:36,185 --> 01:02:38,813 The marriage isn't about the wedding day. 1245 01:02:38,888 --> 01:02:42,085 Your mama and I got married right out there in the front yard. 1246 01:02:42,158 --> 01:02:46,492 I know, but... Well, Bianca wants a big wedding with all the trimmings. 1247 01:02:47,830 --> 01:02:49,695 Is that what you want? 1248 01:02:51,934 --> 01:02:53,868 Yeah, I... I think. 1249 01:02:55,605 --> 01:02:57,766 (STAMMERS) I do. I do. 1250 01:02:57,840 --> 01:02:59,171 (CHUCKLES) 1251 01:03:00,076 --> 01:03:02,408 How does Jamaal feel about that? 1252 01:03:03,112 --> 01:03:05,808 Jamaal, he... Jamaal's cool, Daddy. 1253 01:03:06,549 --> 01:03:10,542 Be mindful of that boy. He never sees his own mother. 1254 01:03:11,921 --> 01:03:15,379 From what he tells me, he doesn't see much of you, either. 1255 01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:19,986 I'm trying, Daddy. All right? But the show keeps me so busy... 1256 01:03:20,163 --> 01:03:26,398 The show. Team of Me. I never quite understood that. 1257 01:03:27,670 --> 01:03:32,767 Well, it's... It's just a saying, you know? Protect yourself. Be your own man. 1258 01:03:33,576 --> 01:03:35,271 Well, that's fine, son, but... 1259 01:03:35,344 --> 01:03:39,246 There are times you gotta depend on others, family and friends. 1260 01:03:39,448 --> 01:03:42,349 I mean, you never learned anything like that around here. 1261 01:03:42,418 --> 01:03:45,785 And that's certainly not something you teach a child. 1262 01:03:49,759 --> 01:03:52,455 Some kids learn it on their own, Daddy. 1263 01:04:12,081 --> 01:04:13,571 (RJ SNORING) 1264 01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:22,615 Honey! I've been busy with a personal project all morning 1265 01:04:22,692 --> 01:04:26,628 and I'm exhausted, so... Be a dear and walk Fifi for me? 1266 01:04:27,463 --> 01:04:31,524 Come on, baby. Let Feef run around and enjoy nature. 1267 01:04:32,201 --> 01:04:34,192 I was hoping to get a little nap. 1268 01:04:34,270 --> 01:04:35,396 Aw. 1269 01:04:36,138 --> 01:04:38,368 My little man is tired. 1270 01:04:39,175 --> 01:04:45,910 Well, I promise I'll do any little thing you want if you do this little thing for me. 1271 01:04:47,884 --> 01:04:50,785 Plus, I want to show you my little project. 1272 01:04:51,254 --> 01:04:52,585 (BUZZING) 1273 01:04:55,258 --> 01:04:56,725 What project? 1274 01:04:59,395 --> 01:05:00,589 Damn! 1275 01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:05,394 Are those my initials? 1276 01:05:05,468 --> 01:05:07,095 BIANCA: Mmm-hmm. 1277 01:05:07,570 --> 01:05:09,561 I told you it was yours. 1278 01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,840 You're a hell of an artist, baby. 1279 01:05:15,878 --> 01:05:17,368 Come on, Feef! 1280 01:05:21,884 --> 01:05:23,749 Come on, Feef, go pee. 1281 01:05:27,056 --> 01:05:28,080 (RATTLING) 1282 01:05:28,157 --> 01:05:30,455 Oh, shit! Snake! Feef! Come on, Feef! 1283 01:05:30,526 --> 01:05:31,550 (DOG WHIMPERING) 1284 01:05:31,627 --> 01:05:34,425 Run, Fifi! Run! Come on! 1285 01:05:35,765 --> 01:05:37,756 Come on! Hey! Lucinda... Hey, what's the matter? 1286 01:05:37,833 --> 01:05:41,030 Don't go down there. Fifi's cornered by this big-ass poisonous snake. 1287 01:05:41,103 --> 01:05:42,331 And you left her? 1288 01:05:42,405 --> 01:05:44,305 No! Lucinda! Save yourself! 1289 01:05:47,209 --> 01:05:48,699 (LUCINDA SCREAMING) 1290 01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:51,406 You see? I'm sorry, Fifi! 1291 01:05:51,814 --> 01:05:54,510 I ain't sucking out no... No poison! 1292 01:05:55,518 --> 01:05:59,045 You okay, girl? Yeah? You just got a little scare, huh? 1293 01:05:59,288 --> 01:06:00,687 (LAUGHS) 1294 01:06:00,756 --> 01:06:01,780 Fifi... 1295 01:06:01,857 --> 01:06:03,188 It's okay. It's all right. 1296 01:06:03,326 --> 01:06:05,123 She all right? Yeah. 1297 01:06:05,728 --> 01:06:07,525 Here you go. See? It was just a little milk snake. 1298 01:06:07,596 --> 01:06:09,461 (EXCLAIMS) 1299 01:06:09,532 --> 01:06:14,094 Now, that wasn't the snake I saw. It was an anaconda or a python. 1300 01:06:14,170 --> 01:06:16,468 Well, we don't have those down here. 1301 01:06:16,539 --> 01:06:17,767 For real? Uh-huh. 1302 01:06:19,075 --> 01:06:20,565 There you go. 1303 01:06:23,212 --> 01:06:25,180 You want to take a walk? 1304 01:06:26,315 --> 01:06:27,407 Sure. 1305 01:06:28,050 --> 01:06:30,416 You out here running off that red velvet cake, huh? 1306 01:06:30,486 --> 01:06:31,544 I deserve some cake. 1307 01:06:31,620 --> 01:06:33,087 Yeah, no... 1308 01:06:34,690 --> 01:06:38,683 Oh, come on, you heard the stories. Hell, you witnessed a bunch. 1309 01:06:38,761 --> 01:06:43,323 Everybody did everything better than me. So, I found something I'm good at. 1310 01:06:43,566 --> 01:06:46,729 I get in front of that audience and they feel me. 1311 01:06:47,803 --> 01:06:49,771 More than anyone here ever did. 1312 01:06:49,839 --> 01:06:52,706 Please, Roscoe. What family doesn't mess with one another? 1313 01:06:52,808 --> 01:06:55,971 I mean, I got teased to no end about my skinny legs. 1314 01:06:56,045 --> 01:06:57,307 Yeah, well, you do have some slim-jims. 1315 01:06:57,380 --> 01:06:58,472 Oh, shut up! 1316 01:06:58,547 --> 01:06:59,741 You could pick your teeth with those legs. 1317 01:06:59,815 --> 01:07:02,181 (LAUGHING) Shut up. 1318 01:07:02,251 --> 01:07:07,416 See? You can dish it out, boy. Especially when it comes to Clyde. 1319 01:07:07,490 --> 01:07:09,481 (SCOFFS) Clyde. 1320 01:07:09,558 --> 01:07:12,789 Clyde's big-headed ass needs to be knocked off his high horse sometimes. 1321 01:07:12,895 --> 01:07:15,295 Why are you two always digging at each other? 1322 01:07:15,364 --> 01:07:19,824 Because Clyde is dirty, and will use any underhanded trick to win. 1323 01:07:19,902 --> 01:07:21,529 Aren't you exaggerating just a little? 1324 01:07:21,604 --> 01:07:22,798 No. 1325 01:07:24,073 --> 01:07:27,065 And what was all that "you stole what was mine" business? 1326 01:07:27,143 --> 01:07:29,543 At the picnic. What did he steal? 1327 01:07:35,017 --> 01:07:36,814 A great opportunity. 1328 01:07:41,791 --> 01:07:45,625 Well, if it was that great, why can't you create another one? 1329 01:07:49,231 --> 01:07:50,698 Maybe I will. 1330 01:07:52,768 --> 01:07:54,429 Maybe you should. 1331 01:07:56,105 --> 01:08:00,201 Well, well, well. Here y'all are again! 1332 01:08:02,812 --> 01:08:07,840 Caught you, didn't I? Mamma gonna get ya... 1333 01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:09,885 This raises some eyebrows. 1334 01:08:09,952 --> 01:08:13,149 Well, sing like a canary, Reggie. Whistle. 1335 01:08:13,222 --> 01:08:14,246 (HUMMING) 1336 01:08:14,323 --> 01:08:19,192 All that with the birds. Harmonize with 'em. But you're not getting the plasma. 1337 01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:21,956 I was walking the dog. 1338 01:08:22,031 --> 01:08:24,556 How's that? Bucky's with us. 1339 01:08:24,900 --> 01:08:28,597 I'm talking about Fiona. Where is Feef? 1340 01:08:29,672 --> 01:08:31,503 Oh, I think she's down by the gully. 1341 01:08:31,574 --> 01:08:32,666 Where's Bucky? 1342 01:08:32,741 --> 01:08:34,402 Down by the gully. 1343 01:08:37,213 --> 01:08:39,147 REGGIE: He's gonna tear it up. 1344 01:08:39,215 --> 01:08:40,773 (BUCKY HOWLING) 1345 01:08:41,917 --> 01:08:43,908 Bucky, get your ass off! 1346 01:08:44,553 --> 01:08:45,577 (WHINING) 1347 01:08:45,654 --> 01:08:46,712 Oh, my God. 1348 01:08:46,789 --> 01:08:47,778 (EXCLAIMS) 1349 01:08:47,857 --> 01:08:49,449 (YELPING) 1350 01:08:49,525 --> 01:08:51,755 She is so working him. 1351 01:08:56,198 --> 01:08:59,463 Don't be surprised if he starts barking in tongues. 1352 01:09:01,670 --> 01:09:03,069 (FIFI YELPS) 1353 01:09:06,809 --> 01:09:09,175 Bucky done turned the bitch out. 1354 01:09:10,379 --> 01:09:11,676 (EXHALES) 1355 01:09:23,893 --> 01:09:26,225 Reg, not a word. 1356 01:09:26,295 --> 01:09:27,660 I got you. 1357 01:09:27,730 --> 01:09:30,130 Is that plasma TV under warranty? 1358 01:09:32,034 --> 01:09:33,365 Mmm. 1359 01:09:33,435 --> 01:09:36,996 I'm a steel trap, player. That dog gonna need counseling. 1360 01:09:41,577 --> 01:09:43,306 You gonna be all right? 1361 01:09:43,379 --> 01:09:44,744 Maybe she won't notice. 1362 01:09:48,551 --> 01:09:50,075 (RJ EXHALES) 1363 01:09:50,152 --> 01:09:53,781 Oh, baby, me and Fifi had so much fun out there, 1364 01:09:54,089 --> 01:09:56,216 we completely lost track of time. 1365 01:09:56,292 --> 01:10:00,490 Yeah, Daddy loves himself some Fifi. Isn't that right, Fifi? 1366 01:10:01,130 --> 01:10:05,931 Daddy loves his little Fifi! Yeah! Oh, we was running all over the place, baby. 1367 01:10:06,001 --> 01:10:11,029 Yeah, she may need a bath. She got dirty. Real dirty. 1368 01:10:11,774 --> 01:10:13,765 Now see here, buster. 1369 01:10:13,842 --> 01:10:17,300 Your alliance is with me, not the prom queen. 1370 01:10:17,379 --> 01:10:21,543 Oh, come on, baby. There's no other alliance. All right? 1371 01:10:23,018 --> 01:10:26,010 Now how about you show me that little project? 1372 01:10:26,288 --> 01:10:28,347 I shaved off my little project. 1373 01:10:28,424 --> 01:10:29,618 Why'd you do that? 1374 01:10:30,459 --> 01:10:34,361 If I discover there's a mutiny afoot, I'm gonna shave off your little project. 1375 01:10:34,430 --> 01:10:35,795 Understand? 1376 01:10:39,468 --> 01:10:40,560 Damn! 1377 01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:43,136 Damn! Damn! 1378 01:10:43,539 --> 01:10:45,871 MAN ON TV.: One timer! Kaberle. 1379 01:10:45,941 --> 01:10:47,135 Goal! 1380 01:10:47,209 --> 01:10:48,540 (ALL LAUGHING) 1381 01:10:49,311 --> 01:10:52,280 Dang, you got game, nephew. It's all right. 1382 01:10:53,282 --> 01:10:54,544 Hey, Dad! 1383 01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:57,814 Roscoe Malley! What's up, man? 1384 01:10:58,387 --> 01:11:02,619 So I heard you been running around with my girl again. Come on, man. 1385 01:11:03,025 --> 01:11:05,550 Let's play the game. Me and Junior take on you and Jamaal. 1386 01:11:05,628 --> 01:11:06,652 Yeah. 1387 01:11:06,729 --> 01:11:08,219 I don't play children's games. 1388 01:11:08,530 --> 01:11:12,694 Oh, is that right? Then what's your poison, brother? 1389 01:11:12,835 --> 01:11:14,234 (RATTLING) 1390 01:11:14,303 --> 01:11:17,363 Ya hear that, though. You like that, eh? 1391 01:11:17,439 --> 01:11:20,704 Yeah, I've been dying to play a little click-clack. 1392 01:11:21,610 --> 01:11:23,976 Sure you want to take it there, Clyde? 1393 01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:26,441 'Cause I don't play for fun. 1394 01:11:26,515 --> 01:11:28,506 Ain't no fun losing money. 1395 01:11:29,418 --> 01:11:31,613 Then you're about to have a bad time. 1396 01:11:32,187 --> 01:11:33,415 (BOTH EXCLAIMING) 1397 01:11:33,489 --> 01:11:36,424 Seven! Oh, that's gonna be all day right there! 1398 01:11:36,492 --> 01:11:38,255 RJ: Can you handle it? Money maker! Money maker! 1399 01:11:38,327 --> 01:11:40,488 Daddy needs a new pair of gators. 1400 01:11:40,562 --> 01:11:41,688 Watch this right there. 1401 01:11:41,764 --> 01:11:43,959 Talking about shake 'em up, shake 'em up, wake 'em. 1402 01:11:44,033 --> 01:11:45,057 Oh! 1403 01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:46,328 Yeah, Dad! 1404 01:11:46,402 --> 01:11:47,960 Daddy, yes! 1405 01:11:48,037 --> 01:11:49,868 You know what, man? I admire you. 1406 01:11:49,938 --> 01:11:51,735 Yeah? I admire you, Roscoe. 1407 01:11:51,807 --> 01:11:58,610 I mean, you still keep trying. You know, 'cause even when I lose, I win. 1408 01:11:58,847 --> 01:12:00,041 Ooh. Ooh. 1409 01:12:00,115 --> 01:12:02,345 Well, then this must feel like the championship, 1410 01:12:02,418 --> 01:12:05,444 'cause you're losing the grip. Bitch! 1411 01:12:06,188 --> 01:12:07,348 (ALL LAUGHING) 1412 01:12:08,657 --> 01:12:11,490 Right there. Come on, baby, eat for Mama. 1413 01:12:13,295 --> 01:12:14,421 Binata? 1414 01:12:14,496 --> 01:12:18,330 You're not listening. Now, I told you to take that dog out of my kitchen. 1415 01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:20,960 It just ain't sanitary! What's wrong with people? 1416 01:12:21,036 --> 01:12:24,904 Bringing damn dogs up in folks' kitchen? Don't make no damn sense. 1417 01:12:25,908 --> 01:12:27,307 (SCREAMING) 1418 01:12:28,143 --> 01:12:31,135 That ain't nothing, you ain't even slick with yours, so that's the problem. 1419 01:12:31,213 --> 01:12:35,172 Everybody see what you're doing, man. But she mine, bro. 1420 01:12:35,250 --> 01:12:39,744 Yeah? Well, you might want to tell her that, 'cause she's feeling a brother. 1421 01:12:39,822 --> 01:12:41,756 (LAUGHING) Seven again! 1422 01:12:42,358 --> 01:12:43,848 All right, grease is hot, I need that fish. 1423 01:12:43,926 --> 01:12:44,950 RUTHIE: Here you go, baby. 1424 01:12:45,027 --> 01:12:47,052 Thank you. 1425 01:12:47,129 --> 01:12:48,619 Mmm. 1426 01:12:48,697 --> 01:12:50,426 It's a little sweet, but it's delicious. 1427 01:12:50,532 --> 01:12:54,263 Yes! And that wine of yours, baby, set it right off! 1428 01:12:54,536 --> 01:12:56,595 The '67 Margaux? Yeah! 1429 01:12:56,672 --> 01:12:58,367 That's a $600 bottle! 1430 01:12:58,440 --> 01:13:00,067 And worth every penny! 1431 01:13:00,642 --> 01:13:01,870 Oh! 1432 01:13:03,479 --> 01:13:04,969 Seven again! 1433 01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:06,776 Oh! 1434 01:13:06,849 --> 01:13:09,511 Somebody stop it! 1435 01:13:09,685 --> 01:13:11,175 (LAUGHING) 1436 01:13:11,253 --> 01:13:12,550 Come on, roll the dice, man. 1437 01:13:12,621 --> 01:13:14,316 Oh, I get it. That's mine, that's mine. 1438 01:13:14,390 --> 01:13:15,516 Pass on that ass. 1439 01:13:15,591 --> 01:13:17,320 Oh! ALL: Oh! 1440 01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:18,621 Could it be? 1441 01:13:18,694 --> 01:13:19,786 No, no, no, no. 1442 01:13:19,862 --> 01:13:21,329 I call gator on that right there. 1443 01:13:21,764 --> 01:13:22,958 Nigga, this ain't Monopoly. 1444 01:13:23,031 --> 01:13:25,591 Hey, hey, man! Roll again, bro. 1445 01:13:27,436 --> 01:13:30,530 Clyde, you better un-ass me before you find yourself a pinky short. 1446 01:13:30,606 --> 01:13:34,201 You better roll again before you find yourself an artery short. 1447 01:13:34,510 --> 01:13:36,239 (RJ GROWLING) 1448 01:13:36,311 --> 01:13:39,610 You brought it on yourself! You brought it on yourself, Clyde! 1449 01:13:39,681 --> 01:13:41,706 Let's go get some fish. Okay. Come on, Jamaal. 1450 01:13:41,784 --> 01:13:45,379 Is this what you wanted, Clyde? That's what you want. 1451 01:13:45,454 --> 01:13:48,685 That's right! That's right! That's Junior Varsity right there, bro! 1452 01:13:48,757 --> 01:13:50,418 (BOTH SCREAMING) 1453 01:13:50,993 --> 01:13:52,017 (BOTH GRUNTING) 1454 01:13:52,094 --> 01:13:53,083 Feel that? 1455 01:13:53,162 --> 01:13:55,062 Oh, that's your ass right there! 1456 01:13:57,433 --> 01:13:58,730 (ALL LAUGHING) 1457 01:13:58,801 --> 01:14:00,098 Wait, wait, stop! 1458 01:14:00,169 --> 01:14:02,262 Y'all better stop all that running through my kitchen! 1459 01:14:02,971 --> 01:14:04,404 Got you! Yeah! 1460 01:14:04,506 --> 01:14:07,566 You broke Daddy's table! We worked hard on this! 1461 01:14:07,743 --> 01:14:09,472 (SCREAMING) 1462 01:14:09,545 --> 01:14:11,638 That's 'cause you fixed it! 1463 01:14:13,782 --> 01:14:15,181 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 1464 01:14:18,554 --> 01:14:19,987 (ALL CHATTERING) 1465 01:14:20,055 --> 01:14:22,421 AMY: I said, why are you drinking when you're pregnant? 1466 01:14:22,491 --> 01:14:24,186 Well, they said I could have a glass of wine. 1467 01:14:24,259 --> 01:14:25,317 Really? 1468 01:14:25,394 --> 01:14:27,760 They didn't say how many times you could refill it, though, baby. 1469 01:14:27,830 --> 01:14:29,263 I want to be pregnant! 1470 01:14:29,331 --> 01:14:30,355 How about another one? 1471 01:14:30,432 --> 01:14:31,729 Let's do it, Balolo. 1472 01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,127 Clyde-o-mania, baby! 1473 01:14:34,203 --> 01:14:35,568 (GROANING) 1474 01:14:36,271 --> 01:14:41,004 You ended up with a big dog now, boy. You ought to check my dental records. 1475 01:14:41,109 --> 01:14:42,474 (BOTH SCREAMING) 1476 01:14:43,846 --> 01:14:46,371 Lord, these fools been playing dice. 1477 01:14:47,082 --> 01:14:48,572 Hey, knock it off! 1478 01:14:48,650 --> 01:14:51,551 Ladies, get the tartar sauce and the hot sauce, 1479 01:14:51,620 --> 01:14:54,020 'cause the Jenkins family is about to throw down! 1480 01:14:54,156 --> 01:14:56,215 (CLYDE AND RJ SCREAMING) 1481 01:14:56,291 --> 01:14:57,849 (SCREAMING) 1482 01:14:57,926 --> 01:14:59,291 (CLYDE AND RJ GRUNTING) 1483 01:14:59,361 --> 01:15:00,589 (ALL CLAMORING) 1484 01:15:00,662 --> 01:15:01,856 (SHOUTING) Man, what are y'all doing? 1485 01:15:01,930 --> 01:15:03,591 Stop that... 1486 01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:05,861 (WOMEN SHRIEKING) 1487 01:15:07,369 --> 01:15:08,802 BIANCA: RJ, no! 1488 01:15:08,871 --> 01:15:09,963 It's hot! It's hot! 1489 01:15:10,038 --> 01:15:11,665 (WOMEN SCREAMING) 1490 01:15:13,542 --> 01:15:15,737 OTIS: Oh, hell no! 1491 01:15:15,811 --> 01:15:16,971 RUTHIE: Oh, my God. 1492 01:15:18,213 --> 01:15:19,680 AMY: Are you okay? 1493 01:15:21,483 --> 01:15:25,510 Oh, my God. 1494 01:15:26,088 --> 01:15:27,555 He started it. He started it. 1495 01:15:27,623 --> 01:15:30,888 (SINGING) What they heading for now What they heading for now... 1496 01:15:30,959 --> 01:15:33,928 Damn! Poor Mama. 1497 01:15:35,464 --> 01:15:39,093 You should have had more prenatal care. Look at your kids. 1498 01:15:40,836 --> 01:15:42,167 I'm sorry. 1499 01:15:43,472 --> 01:15:44,996 (WHIMPERING) 1500 01:15:45,073 --> 01:15:47,132 Baby, I'm sorry. 1501 01:15:48,043 --> 01:15:49,601 It was an accident. 1502 01:15:49,678 --> 01:15:51,168 Silence, shower, strategy. 1503 01:15:51,246 --> 01:15:52,338 That's all I need right now. 1504 01:15:52,414 --> 01:15:54,109 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1505 01:15:55,751 --> 01:15:57,946 Boy, the shower is all yours. 1506 01:15:58,020 --> 01:15:59,681 (REGGIE LAUGHING) 1507 01:16:01,290 --> 01:16:02,484 You used all my shit! 1508 01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:03,684 Yeah, what? 1509 01:16:03,759 --> 01:16:04,851 And you're wearing my robe? 1510 01:16:04,927 --> 01:16:06,360 What... Now, you little... 1511 01:16:06,428 --> 01:16:10,558 Bianca, how's Fiona doing? She still spooked by that snake? 1512 01:16:11,033 --> 01:16:12,660 What snake? 1513 01:16:12,734 --> 01:16:14,861 REGGIE: The snake Lucinda saved Fifi from. 1514 01:16:17,039 --> 01:16:20,338 I mean, she seems pretty relaxed. That's probably 'cause... 1515 01:16:20,409 --> 01:16:22,070 Satellite! Huh, 'Scoe? 1516 01:16:22,144 --> 01:16:25,739 Satellite, pay-per-view, premium channels, sports channels, 1517 01:16:25,814 --> 01:16:27,839 platinum titty channels... All that, man. 1518 01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:29,042 Playboy channels? 1519 01:16:29,117 --> 01:16:31,745 Yeah, butt-naked channels. You like butt-naked? 1520 01:16:31,820 --> 01:16:33,082 Oh, I got to have it. 1521 01:16:33,155 --> 01:16:36,454 You like when they butt-naked, showing all ass? 1522 01:16:36,792 --> 01:16:38,692 You know it. Gospel channels? 1523 01:16:38,760 --> 01:16:40,625 Yeah, you... Gospel, all that! 1524 01:16:40,729 --> 01:16:42,492 Telemundo? You like Telemundo? 1525 01:16:42,564 --> 01:16:44,088 I like... I like Spanish. 1526 01:16:44,166 --> 01:16:45,690 All that! 1527 01:16:45,767 --> 01:16:46,791 All the... 1528 01:16:46,868 --> 01:16:48,165 (IMITATING TANGO MUSIC) 1529 01:16:49,705 --> 01:16:51,195 My man. Peace. 1530 01:16:52,741 --> 01:16:54,106 (SNARLING) 1531 01:16:57,446 --> 01:17:00,779 I don't know who you are anymore, Roscoe Jenkins. 1532 01:17:01,550 --> 01:17:03,074 Baby, it's me. 1533 01:17:04,019 --> 01:17:05,680 It's RJ. 1534 01:17:05,754 --> 01:17:10,885 Are you really willing to put your career, your future, in jeopardy over a crush? 1535 01:17:11,460 --> 01:17:14,224 Career? Baby, we're getting married. 1536 01:17:14,830 --> 01:17:19,062 Get your priorities in order and decide what and who you really want. 1537 01:17:20,736 --> 01:17:23,136 Let that simmer while you sleep on the couch tonight. 1538 01:17:23,205 --> 01:17:25,639 We're going to take a shower. 1539 01:17:27,075 --> 01:17:28,804 (SHOWER RUNNING) 1540 01:17:51,500 --> 01:17:53,365 Reggie! Hell, no! 1541 01:17:53,435 --> 01:17:54,993 Get your nasty ass outta here! 1542 01:17:55,070 --> 01:17:57,197 I didn't know that was you. You knew I was in here! 1543 01:17:57,305 --> 01:17:59,500 You is a nasty common freak! 1544 01:17:59,574 --> 01:18:02,304 There is a naked linebacker in our shower right now. 1545 01:18:02,377 --> 01:18:04,345 Now, you done brought that little white gal up in here, 1546 01:18:04,413 --> 01:18:06,176 now you trying to sneak around and see some black meat? 1547 01:18:06,248 --> 01:18:08,648 Girl, ain't no... I didn't try to come here and look at you! 1548 01:18:08,717 --> 01:18:10,207 Well, then hand me my feminine wash! 1549 01:18:10,285 --> 01:18:13,083 I can see why you can't keep a man, now. 1550 01:18:13,155 --> 01:18:16,352 You got to lay off them Milky Ways and Doritos and tortillo chips. 1551 01:18:16,425 --> 01:18:18,325 And your mother shouldn't have did them goddamn drugs 1552 01:18:18,393 --> 01:18:21,191 when she was pregnant with you! That's what's wrong with your black ass! 1553 01:18:21,263 --> 01:18:23,197 God, your titties are huge, Betty. 1554 01:18:23,265 --> 01:18:24,425 Look, I'm gonna tell Daddy. 1555 01:18:24,499 --> 01:18:28,026 I'm gonna tell my daddy that you are in here trying to see my treats, Reggie. 1556 01:18:28,103 --> 01:18:30,367 Wait, you're gonna be lying if you tell him that! 1557 01:18:30,439 --> 01:18:31,497 Then what was you doing in here? 1558 01:18:31,573 --> 01:18:32,699 I thought that... 1559 01:18:32,774 --> 01:18:35,004 Can I just give you this bubblegum and get on out of here? 1560 01:18:35,077 --> 01:18:36,840 What? You wanted Chick-fil-A, that's what you got. 1561 01:18:36,912 --> 01:18:39,073 I'm Burger King. I'm a Double Whopper. 1562 01:18:39,147 --> 01:18:43,516 You want to see this dark meat? I don't play that foolishness. You're sick. 1563 01:18:43,585 --> 01:18:49,285 I do want to see the black meat, but I don't want to see a bundle of it. 1564 01:18:49,491 --> 01:18:52,255 Get out of here, you sick nasty bastard! 1565 01:18:54,996 --> 01:18:57,157 RJ: She gonna put me out of my room. 1566 01:18:57,232 --> 01:19:01,134 She's a survivor... I'm a survivor! Kiribati, my ass! 1567 01:19:03,605 --> 01:19:05,402 Good night, vegan! 1568 01:19:05,674 --> 01:19:07,005 (RJ LAUGHS) 1569 01:19:07,075 --> 01:19:10,806 Finally, peace at last. 1570 01:19:12,380 --> 01:19:13,745 (SNORING) 1571 01:19:17,753 --> 01:19:19,186 Bucky! 1572 01:19:26,895 --> 01:19:30,126 You stinky dog! Bucky! 1573 01:19:30,198 --> 01:19:31,722 Oh, hell no! 1574 01:19:32,400 --> 01:19:33,924 (SCREAMING) 1575 01:19:36,738 --> 01:19:38,797 He done pissed in my eyes! 1576 01:19:39,775 --> 01:19:42,403 It stinks! My eyes! It burns! 1577 01:19:42,477 --> 01:19:44,945 Oh, Lord! Oh! Oh... 1578 01:19:47,916 --> 01:19:49,213 (GROANING) 1579 01:19:49,718 --> 01:19:55,554 It stink. It stink. My eyes are burning. It got in my mouth! 1580 01:19:56,224 --> 01:19:57,714 They're burning! 1581 01:19:57,793 --> 01:19:59,693 Where did I go wrong with that boy? 1582 01:20:01,897 --> 01:20:06,231 Mama! Mama! Mama! 1583 01:20:06,301 --> 01:20:07,632 Lord have mercy. 1584 01:20:07,702 --> 01:20:09,169 RJ: Mama! 1585 01:20:13,008 --> 01:20:14,771 (DEODRANT SPRAYING) 1586 01:20:15,443 --> 01:20:17,206 (WHISPERING) I don't know what that is. 1587 01:20:17,279 --> 01:20:18,405 WOMAN: (WHISPERING) Hell, no, that ain't me. 1588 01:20:18,914 --> 01:20:20,279 What the... 1589 01:20:27,022 --> 01:20:30,185 Come on, baby brother, ease up, man. You got my eyes tearing. 1590 01:20:30,258 --> 01:20:33,250 My skin is all itchy. Don't do that, man! 1591 01:20:34,196 --> 01:20:36,494 Smells like garbage truck juice out here. 1592 01:20:36,565 --> 01:20:37,691 PAPA: Today 1593 01:20:38,934 --> 01:20:43,462 you all continue the Dry Springs obstacle course tradition. 1594 01:20:44,606 --> 01:20:49,839 So get out there and display that Jenkins family athletic prowess! 1595 01:20:50,745 --> 01:20:54,237 And, no matter what, have fun! 1596 01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:56,050 (ALL CHEERING) 1597 01:21:01,656 --> 01:21:03,351 Good luck, young man. Make me proud. 1598 01:21:03,425 --> 01:21:05,188 Win something. Go on, have a good time. 1599 01:21:05,260 --> 01:21:06,522 BETTY: Have fun. 1600 01:21:07,762 --> 01:21:11,289 Jamaal, nobody remembers who came in second, okay? 1601 01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:14,792 So you gotta get pumped, right? Loosen up. 1602 01:21:16,404 --> 01:21:19,168 Loosen up your muscles. Come on, loosen up! Come on, come on! 1603 01:21:19,241 --> 01:21:21,004 Win! Win! We're winners. We're winners. 1604 01:21:21,076 --> 01:21:23,476 Ease up now, Kiribati. 1605 01:21:23,545 --> 01:21:26,412 Jamaal, go. This ain't none of your business, Clyde. 1606 01:21:26,481 --> 01:21:28,847 Look, come on, man. This is just kids having fun. 1607 01:21:28,917 --> 01:21:31,317 Well, it ain't no fun getting beat. You should know that, Cadillac man. 1608 01:21:31,386 --> 01:21:35,186 Hey, that was one time! Even a blind squirrel can find a nut. 1609 01:21:35,257 --> 01:21:36,622 Who are you calling a squirrel? 1610 01:21:36,691 --> 01:21:38,420 "Who are you calling a squirrel?" 1611 01:21:38,493 --> 01:21:42,395 Roscoe, that's who! A blind, stink-ass squirrel. 1612 01:21:43,031 --> 01:21:45,499 And you the nut. Koo-koo! 1613 01:21:45,567 --> 01:21:49,333 Hey, leave my lady out of this. I know you're not calling my victory a fluke. 1614 01:21:49,471 --> 01:21:51,462 Oh, fluke, luck, one in a million shot, yeah. 1615 01:21:51,539 --> 01:21:55,441 Well, bring it on, Clyde. We can do this right here, right now. 1616 01:21:55,510 --> 01:21:56,636 (ALL ARGUING) 1617 01:21:56,711 --> 01:21:59,441 He's always been a loser. He's always gonna be a loser. 1618 01:21:59,514 --> 01:22:01,209 (ALL CONTINUE ARGUING) 1619 01:22:01,283 --> 01:22:05,344 Hey, Daddy! Daddy, you hear these fools? I'm gonna arrest them! 1620 01:22:07,389 --> 01:22:08,879 (PAPA SHOUTS) 1621 01:22:10,058 --> 01:22:12,458 You two been at this for 20 years. 1622 01:22:12,527 --> 01:22:16,054 Go ahead. Knock yourselves out. Starting line, 10 minutes! 1623 01:22:16,131 --> 01:22:18,429 Oh, yeah? Yeah, Daddy! Yeah! 1624 01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:21,060 Starting line, 10 minutes, Clyde! Ten minutes. Ten minutes. 1625 01:22:21,136 --> 01:22:22,330 Ten minutes, Clyde! 1626 01:22:22,404 --> 01:22:23,530 BIANCA: Get him! 1627 01:22:23,605 --> 01:22:25,505 Ten minutes to countdown, baby! Come on, Clyde. 1628 01:22:25,573 --> 01:22:27,803 Gunfight at the O.K. Corral! 1629 01:22:28,109 --> 01:22:30,600 REGGIE: Oh, shoot, it's the Negro Olympics! 1630 01:22:48,630 --> 01:22:50,461 Dad, are you sure about this? 1631 01:22:50,532 --> 01:22:53,262 Focus, son. Concentrate. 1632 01:22:54,135 --> 01:22:58,435 Cut me in or cut it out! Clyde is favored to do the job! 1633 01:22:58,606 --> 01:23:01,336 Good luck, 'Scoe. That's right. Who gonna bet? 1634 01:23:01,409 --> 01:23:05,140 Y'all better strap yourselves in, 'cause this here's gonna be funny! 1635 01:23:05,213 --> 01:23:06,840 Hey, Reggie, let me get some of that action! 1636 01:23:06,915 --> 01:23:10,180 I got a pulled hamstring for Clyde and a back spasm for Roscoe. 1637 01:23:10,251 --> 01:23:11,411 (BETTY LAUGHING) 1638 01:23:11,486 --> 01:23:14,387 RJ's in top shape. Your man? No shape. 1639 01:23:15,156 --> 01:23:17,090 Clyde is not my man. We are just... 1640 01:23:17,158 --> 01:23:18,352 Just friends. 1641 01:23:18,827 --> 01:23:20,886 Yeah. Like you and RJ? 1642 01:23:21,396 --> 01:23:23,387 What are you talking about? 1643 01:23:23,465 --> 01:23:25,092 I've been watching you. 1644 01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:28,624 Trying to win favor with Jamaal. Realizing what you missed out on. 1645 01:23:28,703 --> 01:23:31,399 It's pathetic. And you're too late. 1646 01:23:31,473 --> 01:23:35,000 'Cause there are no second chances for washed-up prom queens. 1647 01:23:35,076 --> 01:23:36,805 (EXCLAIMS) Sorry. Sorry. 1648 01:23:36,878 --> 01:23:38,539 Now, that was painful. You a bad bitch. 1649 01:23:38,613 --> 01:23:39,637 You bad. 1650 01:23:39,714 --> 01:23:41,511 A bad bitch, Betty? Please, okay? 1651 01:23:41,649 --> 01:23:44,345 She is a fake celebrity, all right? 1652 01:23:44,686 --> 01:23:47,746 Her only claim to fame is trading her panties for peanut butter. 1653 01:23:47,822 --> 01:23:50,052 That's some nasty shit there. 1654 01:23:50,258 --> 01:23:54,695 News flash, honey. Those panties went for 20 grand online. 1655 01:23:54,763 --> 01:23:56,560 Wait a minute. Twenty grand for your panties? 1656 01:23:56,631 --> 01:23:57,655 Yes. 1657 01:23:57,732 --> 01:23:59,097 Well, wait, I got some panties, okay? 1658 01:23:59,167 --> 01:24:01,931 I got the good panties, I got the thong panties, 1659 01:24:02,003 --> 01:24:03,971 I got the period panties. They might... 1660 01:24:04,039 --> 01:24:06,633 Betty, I got a news flash for you. 1661 01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:09,135 Bucky boned Fifi. 1662 01:24:09,210 --> 01:24:10,438 Oh, Lord! 1663 01:24:10,512 --> 01:24:11,501 Well? 1664 01:24:11,579 --> 01:24:12,807 Did he kill her? 1665 01:24:12,881 --> 01:24:14,178 She was on top. 1666 01:24:14,249 --> 01:24:15,580 BETTY: The Pomegramian? 1667 01:24:15,683 --> 01:24:17,844 LUCINDA: Now that is a bad bitch. BETTY: Oh, my God. 1668 01:24:17,919 --> 01:24:18,977 Fifi! 1669 01:24:19,054 --> 01:24:20,146 Your dog's a whore! 1670 01:24:20,422 --> 01:24:22,947 All right. On your mark! 1671 01:24:24,826 --> 01:24:26,054 Get set! 1672 01:24:28,930 --> 01:24:30,056 (ALL CHEERING) 1673 01:24:30,131 --> 01:24:31,723 Run, baby! 1674 01:24:34,235 --> 01:24:35,998 Get out the way! 1675 01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:38,039 What is wrong with them? 1676 01:24:39,507 --> 01:24:40,974 (GRUNTING) 1677 01:24:44,946 --> 01:24:46,573 (ALL SHOUTING) 1678 01:24:47,949 --> 01:24:49,041 Go! 1679 01:24:49,117 --> 01:24:51,381 Oh, get back! Don't want nothing... 1680 01:24:51,453 --> 01:24:53,944 Hey, get back, sucka. Watch out! Hey! Get off me! 1681 01:24:54,022 --> 01:24:55,387 CLYDE: I got him! I'm going! 1682 01:24:58,827 --> 01:25:00,055 Oh, no! Share that! 1683 01:25:00,128 --> 01:25:01,493 Share that. 1684 01:25:01,563 --> 01:25:02,655 (SCEAMING) I'm gone! 1685 01:25:06,835 --> 01:25:07,893 (EXCLAIMS) 1686 01:25:12,073 --> 01:25:14,268 Redemption! Redemption! 1687 01:25:14,342 --> 01:25:15,969 Oh, no! No! 1688 01:25:16,044 --> 01:25:17,272 Forget it! 1689 01:25:17,345 --> 01:25:19,245 You gotta go, Rasta boy! 1690 01:25:19,581 --> 01:25:20,570 (GRUNTS) 1691 01:25:21,483 --> 01:25:22,711 No! Hey! 1692 01:25:26,988 --> 01:25:28,751 (GRUNTING) 1693 01:25:32,160 --> 01:25:33,525 Cannonball! 1694 01:25:36,030 --> 01:25:37,019 Oh, shit! 1695 01:25:42,170 --> 01:25:43,194 (GRUNTING) 1696 01:25:43,271 --> 01:25:45,501 Hit the floor, baby! G.I. Joe! 1697 01:25:46,774 --> 01:25:49,334 Navy SEAL! Navy SEAL! 1698 01:25:49,410 --> 01:25:51,241 Slip and slide, Clyde! 1699 01:25:52,814 --> 01:25:54,679 (GRUNTING) 1700 01:25:54,749 --> 01:25:58,116 Try the South Beach Diet, fat-ass! Yeah! 1701 01:26:00,188 --> 01:26:01,177 (LAUGHING) 1702 01:26:04,492 --> 01:26:05,686 Come on, baby! 1703 01:26:05,760 --> 01:26:07,751 No, you don't! 1704 01:26:08,530 --> 01:26:11,328 Oh, hell no! No! 1705 01:26:11,666 --> 01:26:13,031 (LAUGHING TRIUMPHANTLY) 1706 01:26:13,101 --> 01:26:14,125 (GRUNTING) 1707 01:26:14,202 --> 01:26:15,226 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 1708 01:26:15,303 --> 01:26:17,498 (SQUEALING) 1709 01:26:18,706 --> 01:26:21,004 Man, I felt that in my stomach. 1710 01:26:23,178 --> 01:26:24,167 (GRUNTS) 1711 01:26:24,946 --> 01:26:26,311 OTIS: Come on, baby! Let's go! 1712 01:26:26,381 --> 01:26:28,542 No! No! Hold on! 1713 01:26:28,950 --> 01:26:30,315 (SCREAMING) 1714 01:26:31,953 --> 01:26:33,511 Son, no! Wait! 1715 01:26:33,721 --> 01:26:34,915 (SCREAMING) 1716 01:26:34,989 --> 01:26:36,479 Sorry, Dad! 1717 01:26:36,558 --> 01:26:38,958 You! You wait! You... 1718 01:26:39,394 --> 01:26:40,952 (SCREAMING) 1719 01:26:41,029 --> 01:26:43,327 Hold on, baby! Hold on! 1720 01:26:43,398 --> 01:26:44,524 BETTY: Go, Clyde, go! 1721 01:26:44,599 --> 01:26:45,588 (CLOTH RIPPllNG) 1722 01:26:46,801 --> 01:26:47,893 Oh! 1723 01:26:48,236 --> 01:26:50,534 (LAUGHING) 1724 01:26:50,605 --> 01:26:52,038 That's all right, baby! 1725 01:26:52,106 --> 01:26:53,505 REGGIE: Look at them stretch marks! 1726 01:26:53,575 --> 01:26:55,406 Let's go, Jamaal! You can do it! OTIS: Go! Go! 1727 01:26:55,476 --> 01:26:57,535 Whoo! Yeah! 1728 01:26:59,847 --> 01:27:01,872 It's your ass! Come on... 1729 01:27:04,485 --> 01:27:07,181 Oh, I got you now. See you at the finish line, boy. 1730 01:27:07,755 --> 01:27:09,552 Get up, baby! Get up! 1731 01:27:12,627 --> 01:27:13,821 Yeah! Yeah... 1732 01:27:13,895 --> 01:27:15,590 You see that? Upper body strength. 1733 01:27:15,663 --> 01:27:17,392 That's what being in the gym will do for you! 1734 01:27:17,465 --> 01:27:21,458 Well, I'm a power runner. True warrior! Man! I ain't never scared! 1735 01:27:21,536 --> 01:27:23,401 Yeah, me, neither! 1736 01:27:23,504 --> 01:27:24,937 (SCREAMING) 1737 01:27:27,942 --> 01:27:30,206 I'm going down! I'm going down! 1738 01:27:31,045 --> 01:27:32,478 Mama... 1739 01:27:33,381 --> 01:27:34,871 I'm gonna die! 1740 01:27:36,818 --> 01:27:37,807 (GROANING) 1741 01:27:38,353 --> 01:27:39,877 (EXCLAIMING) 1742 01:27:40,822 --> 01:27:42,483 BETTY: Go, Clyde, go! 1743 01:27:45,960 --> 01:27:48,087 Go, RJ! Get him! 1744 01:27:55,336 --> 01:27:57,361 Help me, Dad! Hey, come on! 1745 01:27:57,438 --> 01:27:59,065 Dad! Dig in, come on! 1746 01:27:59,140 --> 01:28:00,471 I can't! Help! Dad! 1747 01:28:00,541 --> 01:28:02,338 Come on, son! 1748 01:28:02,710 --> 01:28:04,940 Come on, Clyde, you can do it. 1749 01:28:05,813 --> 01:28:07,110 (GROANS) 1750 01:28:08,449 --> 01:28:12,249 Come on. Come on. Come on, son! Go! 1751 01:28:12,520 --> 01:28:14,920 I'm trying! Dig in, son! 1752 01:28:16,958 --> 01:28:19,188 Hurry up! Dig in! Go! 1753 01:28:19,360 --> 01:28:23,694 Leave him, baby, leave him! Don't let Clyde beat you! Don't let him win! 1754 01:28:24,565 --> 01:28:25,691 Win, RJ, win! 1755 01:28:25,767 --> 01:28:26,825 What? What? 1756 01:28:26,901 --> 01:28:28,266 BIANCA: Go, go, go! 1757 01:28:28,736 --> 01:28:30,067 (GRUNTING) 1758 01:28:30,138 --> 01:28:32,572 Don't give up, son! Don't give up! 1759 01:28:33,574 --> 01:28:35,041 BIANCA: Go, baby, go! 1760 01:28:37,145 --> 01:28:38,806 Come on, baby! Go! 1761 01:28:40,682 --> 01:28:41,808 (GROANS) 1762 01:28:42,884 --> 01:28:44,442 Watch out! 1763 01:28:45,553 --> 01:28:47,020 Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby. 1764 01:28:47,088 --> 01:28:48,885 No... No, that's all right. 1765 01:28:48,956 --> 01:28:50,389 This is just a mess. 1766 01:28:50,658 --> 01:28:52,285 (GRUNTING) Oh, yeah, sucker! 1767 01:28:54,028 --> 01:28:56,792 Oh, no! Hell, no! Hell, no! 1768 01:29:02,837 --> 01:29:05,237 Oh, no, you don't! No, you don't! 1769 01:29:05,540 --> 01:29:07,235 (CROWD CHEERING) 1770 01:29:17,552 --> 01:29:20,612 Yeah! Yes! Yeah! 1771 01:29:21,122 --> 01:29:23,215 Welcome to the top, winner! 1772 01:29:23,658 --> 01:29:25,489 Oh! Yeah! 1773 01:29:26,527 --> 01:29:29,223 Give it up, Clyde. I still got it. 1774 01:29:29,297 --> 01:29:32,824 This is gonna haunt your dreams for the next 20 years! Yeah! 1775 01:29:33,034 --> 01:29:35,161 Loser! Callie! 1776 01:29:36,404 --> 01:29:38,463 Built for comfort, not for speed. 1777 01:29:38,539 --> 01:29:42,908 Hey, good save, Steroid Stan! Good save, boy. 1778 01:29:42,977 --> 01:29:45,810 But you know what? Too bad this ain't a team competition. 1779 01:29:45,880 --> 01:29:48,110 You know why? 'Cause I'm the leader! 1780 01:29:48,182 --> 01:29:51,242 Yes! Captain of the Team of Me! 1781 01:29:51,319 --> 01:29:55,016 Just me! Just me, baby! Just me! 1782 01:29:55,757 --> 01:29:57,281 Yeah! 1783 01:30:01,362 --> 01:30:02,226 Come here, son. 1784 01:30:03,164 --> 01:30:04,392 No, thanks. 1785 01:30:05,733 --> 01:30:07,462 Jamaal! Jamaal! 1786 01:30:10,338 --> 01:30:11,737 Jamaal! Jamaal! 1787 01:30:11,806 --> 01:30:14,172 What in God's name is wrong with you? 1788 01:30:14,242 --> 01:30:18,110 What? He challenged me, Daddy. So I stepped to the plate. 1789 01:30:18,413 --> 01:30:20,176 What was I supposed to do, back down? 1790 01:30:20,248 --> 01:30:23,877 Hey, don't use that tone with me! Show some damn respect! 1791 01:30:23,951 --> 01:30:26,647 Where's my respect, Daddy? Damn! 1792 01:30:26,721 --> 01:30:28,985 You've never given me credit for nothing I done! 1793 01:30:29,056 --> 01:30:33,857 Credit for what? Winning a child's race? Buying some fancy TV? 1794 01:30:34,662 --> 01:30:36,789 Or that bullshit show of yours? 1795 01:30:36,864 --> 01:30:42,393 Yes! Yes, Daddy! Yes! Give me some credit! Show me some damn credit! 1796 01:30:43,137 --> 01:30:46,300 Then I feel very sorry for you. 1797 01:30:46,374 --> 01:30:48,274 So, Clyde gets off easy again. 1798 01:30:50,845 --> 01:30:53,336 It wasn't just me out there, Daddy. 1799 01:30:55,683 --> 01:30:59,517 I know he lost his father, but why did I have to lose mine, too? 1800 01:30:59,587 --> 01:31:00,952 Why, Daddy? 1801 01:31:08,629 --> 01:31:13,157 Well, now I see why you stayed away for nine years. 1802 01:31:33,221 --> 01:31:36,884 Hey. Hey, Roscoe. Look, man... 1803 01:31:38,025 --> 01:31:40,186 I never tried to take your place. 1804 01:31:40,261 --> 01:31:41,853 I was just trying to fit in. 1805 01:31:42,430 --> 01:31:46,025 'Cause even though we're cousins, you're my brother, man. 1806 01:31:56,577 --> 01:31:59,102 Oh, now you're Mr. Innocent? Please! 1807 01:31:59,614 --> 01:32:01,980 Don't fall for it, honey. He's just trying to suck you in. 1808 01:32:02,049 --> 01:32:04,916 Oh, look, heifer, your narrow ass about to get sucked in 1809 01:32:04,986 --> 01:32:06,681 if something... Hey, don't do this. You got a case. 1810 01:32:06,754 --> 01:32:08,278 I will cut you. 1811 01:32:08,489 --> 01:32:09,786 You got a case pending. 1812 01:32:09,857 --> 01:32:11,256 RJ: You know what? We're going. 1813 01:32:11,325 --> 01:32:12,815 We're going. I'm not afraid of her. 1814 01:32:12,894 --> 01:32:15,260 You need to be afraid of her. You don't watch Wild Kingdom? 1815 01:32:15,329 --> 01:32:18,025 You ain't never seen a lion attack a gazelle? 1816 01:32:18,099 --> 01:32:20,465 She about to smack the CoverGirl off your face. 1817 01:32:20,535 --> 01:32:21,763 You better get up out of here. 1818 01:32:21,836 --> 01:32:24,236 'Scoe. 'Scoe. Hey, look, man... 1819 01:32:24,305 --> 01:32:26,364 BETTY: Let him go. Let him go. 1820 01:32:27,141 --> 01:32:28,335 Get off of me, Reggie! 1821 01:32:28,409 --> 01:32:29,433 Come on, baby. 1822 01:32:29,510 --> 01:32:32,308 BETTY: I can see your spine. Look at that snake! 1823 01:32:33,414 --> 01:32:36,872 It was so good to see you, Jamaal. 1824 01:32:36,951 --> 01:32:37,975 Yeah. 1825 01:32:38,052 --> 01:32:39,280 Don't you forget to stay in touch 1826 01:32:39,353 --> 01:32:41,787 with your grandma and grandpa, you hear? 1827 01:32:41,856 --> 01:32:44,450 I will. Thanks, Mama Jenkins. 1828 01:32:46,527 --> 01:32:49,223 Well, here's something for the road. 1829 01:32:49,297 --> 01:32:50,730 Meatloaf, your favorite. 1830 01:32:50,798 --> 01:32:52,129 Thanks, Mama. 1831 01:32:52,199 --> 01:32:56,568 Oh, I just hate to see you go. But I understand. 1832 01:32:56,637 --> 01:32:59,003 Lord have mercy, I understand. 1833 01:33:01,075 --> 01:33:04,272 Just don't let it be another nine years, okay? 1834 01:33:05,980 --> 01:33:07,641 Promise? Yeah. 1835 01:33:14,655 --> 01:33:16,054 We love you. 1836 01:33:18,859 --> 01:33:20,986 I love you, too, Mama. 1837 01:33:24,565 --> 01:33:25,793 (CAR STARTING) 1838 01:33:37,878 --> 01:33:41,507 BIANCA: Honey, don't be sad. I'm sorry things didn't work out. 1839 01:33:42,817 --> 01:33:45,251 I promise we'll fix this together. 1840 01:33:46,120 --> 01:33:47,815 I hope so, baby. 1841 01:33:47,888 --> 01:33:49,287 We'll come up with a new plan. 1842 01:33:50,391 --> 01:33:52,916 Yeah, we have more time to work on the speech. 1843 01:33:53,060 --> 01:33:57,690 We'll film the banquet in LA, hire actors. It'll look better. 1844 01:33:58,699 --> 01:34:01,190 Hire actors? To play my family? 1845 01:34:01,268 --> 01:34:02,792 Honey... 1846 01:34:02,870 --> 01:34:06,772 We're getting married and forming a powerful merger. 1847 01:34:07,975 --> 01:34:10,739 Where does your family fit into that? 1848 01:34:10,811 --> 01:34:12,438 I guess they don't. 1849 01:34:12,513 --> 01:34:13,571 Dad, are you serious? 1850 01:34:13,648 --> 01:34:14,740 Jamaal! 1851 01:34:15,483 --> 01:34:19,419 Haven't you realized by now who your father's become? 1852 01:34:19,487 --> 01:34:22,149 It's all about the Team of Me. 1853 01:34:22,223 --> 01:34:24,987 This is Team Stevens, and you need to get on board. 1854 01:34:25,059 --> 01:34:26,549 I'm a Jenkins. 1855 01:34:27,595 --> 01:34:29,825 RJ, please talk to your son. 1856 01:34:32,233 --> 01:34:33,393 (SIGHS) 1857 01:34:36,103 --> 01:34:40,267 She's right, Jamaal. We gotta move forward, all right? 1858 01:34:40,508 --> 01:34:42,908 You think just because you bonded with everybody 1859 01:34:42,977 --> 01:34:45,912 I'm gonna send you down here for summers and Christmases... 1860 01:34:45,980 --> 01:34:47,038 (SCOFFING) 1861 01:34:47,114 --> 01:34:49,674 So you can be influenced by these people? But... But, Dad! 1862 01:34:49,750 --> 01:34:51,342 No buts, Jamaal. 1863 01:34:51,419 --> 01:34:54,047 In fact, you know, let's not even invite them to the wedding. 1864 01:34:54,121 --> 01:34:58,785 (GASPS) Oh, my God! I'm so glad you said that! 1865 01:34:58,859 --> 01:35:01,419 I've been thinking that ever since I met Betty. 1866 01:35:01,896 --> 01:35:04,888 I don't blame you. Bitch ain't got no class. 1867 01:35:04,965 --> 01:35:06,694 You can say that again. 1868 01:35:09,704 --> 01:35:10,830 (CHUCKLES) 1869 01:35:10,905 --> 01:35:12,270 No class. 1870 01:35:12,339 --> 01:35:15,900 (SCOFFS) We can say that about a few people in your family. 1871 01:35:15,976 --> 01:35:17,534 Right, baby? 1872 01:35:17,611 --> 01:35:18,805 Right? 1873 01:35:23,517 --> 01:35:25,576 BIANCA: Honey, you are so doing the right thing. 1874 01:35:26,454 --> 01:35:29,912 And making me so hot in the process. 1875 01:35:30,124 --> 01:35:31,250 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 1876 01:35:31,325 --> 01:35:34,419 Well, prepare to cool off, 'cause I'm done with you. 1877 01:35:34,495 --> 01:35:39,660 You crazy-ass bitch! You know what? Thank you, Bianca. 1878 01:35:39,900 --> 01:35:41,162 Thank you so much 1879 01:35:41,235 --> 01:35:45,501 for letting me finally see you for the arrogant, sex-crazed, 1880 01:35:45,573 --> 01:35:49,532 pretentious, fake-ass celebrity wannabe that you are. 1881 01:35:49,610 --> 01:35:51,703 Thank you, Bianca. Thank you. 1882 01:35:51,779 --> 01:35:56,239 (SCOFFS) Oh, well, you're so welcome, Roscoe! 1883 01:35:56,317 --> 01:35:58,615 I knew it. You can't handle me. 1884 01:35:58,686 --> 01:36:01,780 You're not man enough. You don't have the balls! 1885 01:36:03,057 --> 01:36:05,753 King Kong don't have the balls! Bounce! 1886 01:36:07,161 --> 01:36:09,925 You just signed your career death certificate. 1887 01:36:09,997 --> 01:36:12,363 Our alliance is officially over! 1888 01:36:12,433 --> 01:36:13,991 And so are you. Come on, Fiona. 1889 01:36:16,237 --> 01:36:18,102 Come on, Fifi. Come to Mommy. 1890 01:36:18,172 --> 01:36:19,264 (BARKS) 1891 01:36:20,040 --> 01:36:21,735 It looks like your alliance is over, 1892 01:36:21,809 --> 01:36:24,141 and you've been voted off the island. 1893 01:36:24,211 --> 01:36:27,647 Bianca, the tribe has spoken. Bounce! 1894 01:36:27,748 --> 01:36:29,147 (FIONA BARKING) 1895 01:36:30,317 --> 01:36:32,512 (SCREAMS IN FRUSTRATION) 1896 01:36:32,987 --> 01:36:34,477 Dad, you're the man! 1897 01:36:34,555 --> 01:36:36,250 I told you who the boss was. 1898 01:36:38,459 --> 01:36:39,721 Let's go. 1899 01:36:40,795 --> 01:36:42,285 Wait, my bags! 1900 01:36:53,274 --> 01:36:55,606 I love you, son. I love you, too, Dad. 1901 01:36:55,843 --> 01:36:56,969 Let's go home. 1902 01:36:57,178 --> 01:36:58,907 (PEOPLE APPLAUDING) 1903 01:37:01,348 --> 01:37:03,373 Mama said, 1904 01:37:03,450 --> 01:37:04,917 "Girl, it ain't right 1905 01:37:04,985 --> 01:37:08,284 "to throw hot grits on a man when you have a disagreement. " 1906 01:37:09,056 --> 01:37:12,492 Sound advice. Real good advice, but did I listen? 1907 01:37:13,294 --> 01:37:15,524 No. Old Betty had to do it her way. 1908 01:37:15,596 --> 01:37:17,723 And that was my second husband. 1909 01:37:17,898 --> 01:37:19,263 God knows I didn't mean to burn him. 1910 01:37:19,333 --> 01:37:21,301 But my third husband, Buck, baby... 1911 01:37:21,368 --> 01:37:22,767 Buck was good to me! 1912 01:37:22,837 --> 01:37:24,429 And any time you get somebody 1913 01:37:24,505 --> 01:37:26,268 that's good to you like that, you love 'em. 1914 01:37:26,340 --> 01:37:29,468 Big black Buck had the keloid hanging from the ear. 1915 01:37:29,543 --> 01:37:30,532 (EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) 1916 01:37:30,611 --> 01:37:32,579 Looked like he had a leather hearing aid. Stop! 1917 01:37:32,646 --> 01:37:34,170 Daddy, I know you didn't like Buck a lot, 1918 01:37:34,248 --> 01:37:36,808 but Buck was a good man when he got out of jail. 1919 01:37:36,884 --> 01:37:39,614 I'm gonna tell you something. He did everything he said he was gonna do. 1920 01:37:39,687 --> 01:37:41,917 And do you know, Buck was the only man, 1921 01:37:41,989 --> 01:37:44,787 the only man that could pick me up? 1922 01:37:44,859 --> 01:37:46,850 Baby, y'all don't know what it's like 1923 01:37:46,927 --> 01:37:48,690 for a man to scoop you up like that. 1924 01:37:48,762 --> 01:37:50,389 Betty. Betty... I'm trying to tell 'em! 1925 01:37:50,464 --> 01:37:51,931 Scoop you like... Betty. 1926 01:37:51,999 --> 01:37:54,399 Get off of me! I'm not finished. Betty. 1927 01:37:54,535 --> 01:37:56,230 You a hater! I ain't no hater. 1928 01:37:56,303 --> 01:37:57,793 We only got five hours to be here. 1929 01:37:57,872 --> 01:37:59,134 Shut up! 1930 01:38:00,741 --> 01:38:03,608 Thank you, Betty! Thank you! Yeah! 1931 01:38:06,380 --> 01:38:09,907 And now for our next testimonial. It'll come from Clyde. 1932 01:38:15,956 --> 01:38:19,119 All right, how's everybody doing? Ain't God good? 1933 01:38:19,560 --> 01:38:21,027 All the time. 1934 01:38:21,195 --> 01:38:23,789 It is a pleasure and a privilege to be here 1935 01:38:23,864 --> 01:38:27,732 for Papa J and Mama J's 50th anniversary. 1936 01:38:27,801 --> 01:38:30,668 Lord, growing up in this Jenkins household was something else. 1937 01:38:30,771 --> 01:38:34,298 And Papa J is a strong man. I mean, well, this the kind of person, 1938 01:38:34,375 --> 01:38:35,933 when he say he'll slap the black off you, 1939 01:38:36,010 --> 01:38:38,035 I mean the black really will come off. 1940 01:38:38,145 --> 01:38:40,807 I woke up light-skinned at least three times in my life. 1941 01:38:40,881 --> 01:38:42,610 (ALL CHUCKLING) 1942 01:38:42,683 --> 01:38:44,651 Yeah, I got it all back. 1943 01:38:44,718 --> 01:38:46,913 You all right? You barely ate. 1944 01:38:47,788 --> 01:38:50,256 But you know, working in his hardware store... 1945 01:38:50,658 --> 01:38:53,183 I just wish Roscoe were here. 1946 01:38:53,694 --> 01:38:56,891 Roscoe made his choice. 1947 01:38:56,964 --> 01:38:58,625 You didn't give him much of one. 1948 01:39:00,200 --> 01:39:03,829 What was I supposed to do? Be disrespected in my own home? 1949 01:39:04,972 --> 01:39:06,462 Be his father. 1950 01:39:08,542 --> 01:39:11,534 Giving him your name doesn't make him you, Roscoe. 1951 01:39:13,047 --> 01:39:16,813 It doesn't make him Betty or Otis or even Clyde. 1952 01:39:17,451 --> 01:39:21,012 He's Roscoe Junior. RJ. 1953 01:39:21,689 --> 01:39:25,216 And for a boy who didn't feel the support of his family, 1954 01:39:26,493 --> 01:39:28,927 he's doing quite well for himself. 1955 01:39:29,530 --> 01:39:31,327 ... sleeping in the bottom bunk bed, 1956 01:39:31,398 --> 01:39:33,491 you know, under RJ, and then 1957 01:39:33,567 --> 01:39:35,831 I was nervous 'cause he would pee in the bed. 1958 01:39:35,903 --> 01:39:37,928 And that would, you know, that would... 1959 01:39:38,005 --> 01:39:39,996 I would have some scary nights sometime. 1960 01:39:40,074 --> 01:39:43,271 You know, it's hard sleeping with a raincoat on, you know. 1961 01:39:43,344 --> 01:39:45,904 And, you know, and... 1962 01:39:45,980 --> 01:39:48,380 And I tried to explain to them that, you know, 1963 01:39:48,449 --> 01:39:51,714 that's Roscoe the one that's peeing in the bed, not me. 1964 01:39:51,785 --> 01:39:53,776 And, he... 1965 01:39:56,390 --> 01:39:57,880 (SOBBING) 1966 01:39:59,226 --> 01:40:03,128 You know, just the way they took me in was so gracious. 1967 01:40:03,197 --> 01:40:05,995 They didn't have to do that. I thank you. 1968 01:40:06,433 --> 01:40:07,957 I thank y'all and... 1969 01:40:08,035 --> 01:40:10,970 Because I don't know where I would be right now if... 1970 01:40:11,038 --> 01:40:13,029 (CRYING LOUDLY) 1971 01:40:13,107 --> 01:40:15,337 Nigga, what is you crying for? 1972 01:40:15,676 --> 01:40:19,442 Big old Sugar Bear-looking-ass boy. Sitting up there crying. 1973 01:40:19,513 --> 01:40:21,606 He's still wearing the pajamas with the feet in 'em. 1974 01:40:23,817 --> 01:40:26,581 Wow, I've never seen Clyde cry before. 1975 01:40:29,623 --> 01:40:33,491 Ain't nobody crying. I'm just cleansing. 1976 01:40:33,861 --> 01:40:37,627 No, those some real tears right there. I know. 1977 01:40:38,966 --> 01:40:43,403 I've cried more than a newborn baby getting his ass popped. 1978 01:40:43,537 --> 01:40:44,799 (ALL LAUGHING) 1979 01:40:44,872 --> 01:40:46,032 Hey, guys. 1980 01:40:46,106 --> 01:40:48,438 RJ.: I've been beat up... Hey, Jamaal! 1981 01:40:48,509 --> 01:40:51,239 ... insulted, laughed at... 1982 01:40:52,613 --> 01:40:53,602 A lot. 1983 01:40:53,680 --> 01:40:56,012 (ALL LAUGHING) 1984 01:40:56,083 --> 01:40:58,278 Hey, you're laughing already. 1985 01:40:59,720 --> 01:41:02,382 I lost more games and competitions 1986 01:41:02,456 --> 01:41:03,753 to Clyde than I can remember. 1987 01:41:04,658 --> 01:41:08,355 Oh, 3,459 and counting. 1988 01:41:10,998 --> 01:41:13,262 Thank you, Clyde. 1989 01:41:15,569 --> 01:41:17,560 I thought I was a loser. 1990 01:41:18,038 --> 01:41:20,097 So I went away 1991 01:41:20,174 --> 01:41:22,938 and transformed myself into what I thought was a winner. 1992 01:41:25,746 --> 01:41:30,445 But being around y'all is a 24/7 1993 01:41:32,019 --> 01:41:33,213 reality check. 1994 01:41:33,821 --> 01:41:35,812 Y'all rough on a brother. 1995 01:41:36,957 --> 01:41:41,621 The clothes, the car, the Survivor... 1996 01:41:45,265 --> 01:41:46,493 Y'all pull no punches. 1997 01:41:46,567 --> 01:41:48,330 You know that's right! 1998 01:41:49,403 --> 01:41:52,167 Betty, you got a hell of a right hand. 1999 01:41:53,006 --> 01:41:56,373 That's no joke. And O, you got a hell of a left hand. 2000 01:41:57,678 --> 01:41:59,145 That's right. 2001 01:41:59,213 --> 01:42:01,374 But look, I... 2002 01:42:01,448 --> 01:42:05,407 I want to thank you, all of you, my family. 2003 01:42:08,188 --> 01:42:10,816 Thank you for making me a better man. 2004 01:42:12,960 --> 01:42:14,860 For giving me strength to... 2005 01:42:14,928 --> 01:42:17,988 To withstand anything this world throws at me. 2006 01:42:19,867 --> 01:42:21,767 For unconditional love, 2007 01:42:23,570 --> 01:42:25,561 and a place to call home. 2008 01:42:27,641 --> 01:42:30,337 I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna cry. 2009 01:42:33,147 --> 01:42:37,140 Happy Anniversary, Mommy, Daddy. I love you. 2010 01:42:49,329 --> 01:42:52,423 I'm so proud of you. 2011 01:42:52,499 --> 01:42:55,764 I know. We all need love. 2012 01:42:57,104 --> 01:42:58,969 Yeah, come on, Clyde. We gonna let them 2013 01:42:59,039 --> 01:43:01,064 have this moment, all right? I just want a hug, O. 2014 01:43:01,141 --> 01:43:02,438 I know, baby. Come over here and let's... 2015 01:43:02,509 --> 01:43:04,204 Son, 2016 01:43:04,278 --> 01:43:08,374 if I ever drove you away, if I ever made you feel unworthy, 2017 01:43:09,316 --> 01:43:14,015 I'm sorry. I love you. Glad to have you back. 2018 01:43:14,288 --> 01:43:17,382 And those words you just said, that's the best gift 2019 01:43:17,457 --> 01:43:19,982 I've ever received, RJ Stevens. 2020 01:43:20,928 --> 01:43:24,557 Well, it's from the heart, Daddy. And the name is Jenkins. 2021 01:43:26,533 --> 01:43:31,061 Roscoe Steven Jenkins. Just like my daddy. 2022 01:43:33,774 --> 01:43:34,763 ALL: Aw. 2023 01:43:37,945 --> 01:43:39,936 Reggie, come here. What the hell is wrong with you, nigga? 2024 01:43:40,013 --> 01:43:43,449 What the hell has gotten into you? Man, he needs help. 2025 01:43:54,628 --> 01:43:56,220 Go get her, son. 2026 01:44:00,667 --> 01:44:02,965 (SAVING ALL MY LO VE FOR YOU PLAYING) 2027 01:44:13,380 --> 01:44:15,143 Lucinda? Yes? 2028 01:44:16,149 --> 01:44:19,243 I waited 20 years to create this opportunity. 2029 01:44:21,255 --> 01:44:23,223 Would you dance with me? 2030 01:44:25,192 --> 01:44:26,625 I'd love to. 2031 01:44:32,432 --> 01:44:34,525 Lucinda, I'm happy for you. 2032 01:44:35,535 --> 01:44:39,130 Hey! Betty, come on, let's get out here and cut a rug, girl. 2033 01:44:39,206 --> 01:44:41,401 Negro, we're cousins. That's nasty! 2034 01:44:41,475 --> 01:44:44,410 So desperate. That's a damn shame. 2035 01:44:44,478 --> 01:44:47,936 You gonna play me for him? He got on an ankle bracelet! 2036 01:45:10,137 --> 01:45:11,968 Thank you. 2037 01:45:15,909 --> 01:45:16,898 (LAUGHING) 2038 01:45:18,345 --> 01:45:20,336 Did you see the bedroom? 2039 01:45:39,800 --> 01:45:42,234 BETTY: Look at Roscoe trying to be in love. 2040 01:45:42,302 --> 01:45:44,167 I heard that. 2041 01:45:44,237 --> 01:45:45,795 PAPA: Now, that's a good picture. 2042 01:45:45,939 --> 01:45:48,669 Oh, look at that. Yeah, this should be good. 2043 01:45:49,476 --> 01:45:51,376 There's Sugar Bear Clyde. 2044 01:45:51,445 --> 01:45:54,209 Look at that. 2045 01:45:55,982 --> 01:45:57,973 That looks good, Reggie. That's a blue bonnet, baby. 2046 01:45:59,252 --> 01:46:01,550 Pow! That boy crazy right there, isn't he? 2047 01:46:02,556 --> 01:46:04,547 We do have one hell of a family. 2048 01:46:04,624 --> 01:46:06,182 We sure do, Daddy. 2049 01:46:06,393 --> 01:46:08,554 Where are those two anyway? 2050 01:46:08,628 --> 01:46:10,255 Oh, Ma, you know where they are. 2051 01:46:10,330 --> 01:46:11,957 That's nice. 2052 01:46:24,945 --> 01:46:26,242 BOTH: Uh-uh. 2053 01:46:26,780 --> 01:46:28,008 (WHIMPERING) 2054 01:46:41,895 --> 01:46:45,387 ANNOUNCER.: Ladies and gentlemen, your host, Roscoe Jenkins! 2055 01:46:46,800 --> 01:46:49,701 All right. Thank you, thank you. 2056 01:46:50,504 --> 01:46:55,271 You all looking good. Looking good. What's good, family? 2057 01:46:55,976 --> 01:46:58,877 Today's show is about family. 2058 01:46:58,979 --> 01:47:02,244 And what better way to kick it off than with the doctor's own? 2059 01:47:03,016 --> 01:47:05,985 Say hello to the Jenkins clan. 2060 01:47:06,052 --> 01:47:08,043 Hey, y'all! Hey, everybody! 2061 01:47:08,121 --> 01:47:10,919 Ow! Pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pa-pump! Pump, pump, pump, pump! 2062 01:47:10,991 --> 01:47:12,083 Betty. Betty. Yes! 2063 01:47:12,159 --> 01:47:13,490 BETTY: Mind your own business, Otis. 2064 01:47:13,560 --> 01:47:15,152 We'll be right back. We just trying to have a good time 2065 01:47:15,228 --> 01:47:17,662 here on 'Scoe's show. You always gotta say something. 2066 01:47:17,731 --> 01:47:20,598 Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. 2067 01:47:21,168 --> 01:47:22,897 Let's get started. 2068 01:47:24,838 --> 01:47:27,932 You're a doctor, so tell me this. 2069 01:47:28,008 --> 01:47:31,500 Why am I having trouble reaching an orgasm? 2070 01:47:32,245 --> 01:47:33,405 So you've never been able to? 2071 01:47:33,480 --> 01:47:35,914 BETTY: Now, I know how to get myself to the destination, 2072 01:47:35,982 --> 01:47:38,382 I just need a captain to navigate the waters. 2073 01:47:38,452 --> 01:47:40,181 Now, 'Scoe, you got to help me here. 2074 01:47:40,253 --> 01:47:43,222 Is that thing physical or is that thing mental? 2075 01:47:43,290 --> 01:47:44,917 Or is it emotional, 'Scoe? 2076 01:47:44,991 --> 01:47:46,788 Like, where do you go to find... 2077 01:47:46,860 --> 01:47:48,521 Can we cut? I'm... I'm uncomfortable. 2078 01:47:48,595 --> 01:47:50,028 Wait a minute, 'Scoe. I'm just trying to figure out 2079 01:47:50,096 --> 01:47:51,893 how I'm supposed to get mine, okay? 2080 01:47:51,965 --> 01:47:54,092 So you think it's okay to spank your kids. 2081 01:47:54,167 --> 01:47:57,534 Yeah, I spank my kids. I get in their... 2082 01:47:57,604 --> 01:47:59,902 They... up, I start... them up. 2083 01:47:59,973 --> 01:48:00,997 Tag team. 2084 01:48:01,074 --> 01:48:03,474 Oh, cuss words. 2085 01:48:03,543 --> 01:48:05,511 Oh, gee, I'm sorry. 2086 01:48:05,579 --> 01:48:08,309 ...that! You know me, man. 2087 01:48:08,381 --> 01:48:12,215 Hustling is my job. I mean, I ain't never really paid no rent. 2088 01:48:12,285 --> 01:48:15,186 You know what I'm saying? I ain't never really paid no bills. 2089 01:48:15,255 --> 01:48:17,223 You know what I'm saying? So... But I... 2090 01:48:17,290 --> 01:48:20,589 For some reason, I've always got cash in my pocket! 2091 01:48:21,261 --> 01:48:23,627 I guess it's 'cause I got a honest face. 2092 01:48:26,066 --> 01:48:27,055 I mean, I don't know, 2093 01:48:27,133 --> 01:48:28,964 you might have a problem with that since, when we was 2094 01:48:29,035 --> 01:48:32,004 little I would always beat you. You know what I'm saying? 2095 01:48:32,072 --> 01:48:34,870 You pull out the cards, you one, two, three, you draw four, I'm like... 2096 01:48:35,208 --> 01:48:39,042 Uno. You know what I'm saying? You make a move, I'm C-4, C-2... 2097 01:48:39,813 --> 01:48:42,441 I sunk your battleship. You remember that, don't you? 2098 01:48:42,516 --> 01:48:44,643 BETTY: And then he be finished. I'm like, "Damn! 2099 01:48:44,718 --> 01:48:46,777 "Is something wrong with my... My cakes?" 2100 01:48:46,953 --> 01:48:48,580 You know what I'm saying? I don't know if 2101 01:48:48,655 --> 01:48:50,020 something wrong with my tastycakes, 'Scoe. 2102 01:48:50,090 --> 01:48:51,853 You actually tase your kids? 2103 01:48:51,925 --> 01:48:53,654 Hell, yeah, I tase my... kids. 2104 01:48:53,727 --> 01:48:55,592 You shock 'em, they be like... 2105 01:48:55,662 --> 01:48:58,756 I say, "You gonna take out that trash now?" He just... 2106 01:48:58,832 --> 01:49:00,231 For not taking out the trash? 2107 01:49:00,300 --> 01:49:02,097 (IMITAING ELECTROCUTION) 2108 01:49:02,969 --> 01:49:07,463 45,000 volts right through his big... "Yes... Dad..." 2109 01:49:08,775 --> 01:49:09,764 Yeah. 2110 01:49:09,843 --> 01:49:13,609 (CELL PHONE RINGING) Hold it, hold up. Who is this? Yeah, what it is? 2111 01:49:14,981 --> 01:49:17,950 Man, I'm on the show. You ain't watching? I'm on the show right now! 2112 01:49:18,084 --> 01:49:21,520 I ain't gotta... No, I'm on the show. Look at me. Look. 2113 01:49:22,856 --> 01:49:26,314 We could do it right now, bro. You put your hands up... 2114 01:49:26,526 --> 01:49:28,619 Or rock-paper-scissors. 2115 01:49:28,695 --> 01:49:31,163 We could do it right here. I mean, you know, what you scratching for? 2116 01:49:31,231 --> 01:49:34,291 You know, you want to scratch? You want to have a scratch battle? 2117 01:49:34,367 --> 01:49:37,200 'Cause we can scratch out. We can... We could DJ scratch... 2118 01:49:38,204 --> 01:49:41,662 I'll make me a bubble bath, light me some little candles, 2119 01:49:41,841 --> 01:49:46,073 and then I gets down in that water, 'Scoe, and I be... 2120 01:49:46,179 --> 01:49:48,511 I'm thinking about it right now. Let me get myself together. 2121 01:49:48,582 --> 01:49:50,243 Cut! Cut! God forgive me. 2122 01:49:50,317 --> 01:49:54,151 Take the $150, go buy you a eight ball. Flip the eight ball, 2123 01:49:54,220 --> 01:49:57,986 you gonna make 300 off that. Take the 300, get you a quarter. 2124 01:49:58,058 --> 01:50:01,084 Take the quarter ounce, flip that. Stay over at Aunt Lea's... 2125 01:50:01,161 --> 01:50:03,288 Like if you... If there wasn't an audience out there, 2126 01:50:03,363 --> 01:50:05,593 I would race you up and down the audience steps. 2127 01:50:05,665 --> 01:50:07,860 We can go. You know we can go, too. 2128 01:50:07,934 --> 01:50:10,835 Take the half ounce money, flip the half ounce money. 2129 01:50:10,971 --> 01:50:14,202 Now you ready for a ounce. You got a quarter ki now! 2130 01:50:14,274 --> 01:50:15,935 Now everybody in the neighborhood 2131 01:50:16,009 --> 01:50:18,273 got on new sneakers and walkie-talkies. 2132 01:50:18,345 --> 01:50:19,744 Everybody is working for you, 2133 01:50:19,813 --> 01:50:22,304 you doing your thing and everything. 2134 01:50:26,319 --> 01:50:29,846 I hope the feds ain't watching this. I'll call you back. 2135 01:50:31,891 --> 01:50:36,123 I am. I am afraid, okay? I'm... I'm... I'm afraid of being hurt, 2136 01:50:36,196 --> 01:50:37,857 and I don't want to be hurt. 2137 01:50:37,931 --> 01:50:39,489 You pursue unattainable men. 2138 01:50:40,967 --> 01:50:43,595 What? You want men you can't have. 2139 01:50:43,670 --> 01:50:46,264 Men I can't have? 2140 01:50:46,339 --> 01:50:49,365 Listen here... okay? I can have any man I want, okay? 2141 01:50:49,442 --> 01:50:50,966 Don't get me twisted, 'Scoe. 2142 01:50:51,044 --> 01:50:54,172 I am pretty in the face and thick around the waist. 2143 01:50:54,247 --> 01:50:56,647 You better ask somebody. I got sugar walls! 2144 01:50:56,716 --> 01:50:58,081 This right here is sweet tea. 2145 01:50:58,184 --> 01:50:59,947 Ain't that right, baby? 2146 01:51:00,020 --> 01:51:01,044 Yo, ma. 2147 01:51:01,655 --> 01:51:06,092 Yeah. I'm saying, Doc, the booty is illmatic! 2148 01:51:07,060 --> 01:51:11,087 Well, that wasn't quite what a brother had in mind. 2149 01:51:11,231 --> 01:51:12,960 But that's the thing about family. 2150 01:51:13,033 --> 01:51:15,365 Unpredictable, but entertaining. 2151 01:51:15,869 --> 01:51:18,099 And we love 'em. Peace. 2152 01:51:18,171 --> 01:51:20,105 (WE ARE FAMILY PLAYING)