0 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 1 00:01:14,839 --> 00:01:20,397 2 00:02:14,839 --> 00:02:16,397 Can I have a shot glass, please? 3 00:03:12,828 --> 00:03:14,022 Photo sent. 4 00:03:30,746 --> 00:03:33,062 Stay on this heading for about 6h30min. 5 00:03:33,162 --> 00:03:34,762 Turn left at the Aurora Borealis. 6 00:03:34,862 --> 00:03:38,135 When you see something that looks like a frozen gall bladder, that's Greenland. 7 00:03:38,235 --> 00:03:39,312 Hang a soft right there. 8 00:03:39,955 --> 00:03:42,650 - All set there, Mr. Hauser? - Yeah, thank you. 9 00:03:43,124 --> 00:03:44,113 Guidestar! 10 00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:01,821 Guidestar! 11 00:04:01,921 --> 00:04:03,057 Welcome back. 12 00:04:03,157 --> 00:04:06,169 Hotel? Dinner reservations? Movie tickets, maybe? 13 00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:11,640 Mr. Hauser Is there something else you need? 14 00:04:12,487 --> 00:04:15,614 I don't know. I feel... 15 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:18,720 Go on. 16 00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:21,727 Like a refuge from the Island of Dr. Moreau. 17 00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:26,530 Some morally inverted, twisted character from a C�line novel. 18 00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:28,878 The hot sauce helps. 19 00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:31,117 You still getting those nightmares you told me about? 20 00:04:31,217 --> 00:04:34,071 They're coming back faster and faster. I don't know if I can keep outrunning 'em. 21 00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:40,027 That'll be it, Jerry. I gotta go. 22 00:04:40,127 --> 00:04:42,729 You bet, Mr. Hauser. GuideStar wants you to feel secure. 23 00:04:42,829 --> 00:04:43,807 GuideStar. 24 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,383 Be still my trembling hands, for how you would tremble... 25 00:04:46,485 --> 00:04:48,646 if you knew where I would take you next. 26 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,322 Incoming message. 27 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,693 Incoming message. 28 00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:01,223 You got him on the comm there? Bring it over. 29 00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:02,934 Hello, Hauser! 30 00:05:03,335 --> 00:05:04,483 Hello, Mr. Vice President. 31 00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:06,719 I haven't been vice president for five months. 32 00:05:06,819 --> 00:05:08,706 Otherwise, this all might be a conflict of interest. 33 00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:13,294 Tamerlane and the U.S. government, and I in particular, were cleared... 34 00:05:13,394 --> 00:05:15,870 of any and all violations of federal, state and international laws... 35 00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:17,826 by the bipartisan committee. 36 00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,440 Just read the report. 37 00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:22,667 I'm sure anything you weren't supposed to be doing you were cleared of. 38 00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:25,656 And of course I was preemptively pardoned by the president. 39 00:05:26,692 --> 00:05:28,886 I got the snapshots. Love your work. 40 00:05:28,993 --> 00:05:31,484 - We're all big fans. - Yes. 41 00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:33,047 Let's see if the damn Krauts... 42 00:05:33,147 --> 00:05:35,793 will cross us in the Security Council now. 43 00:05:36,434 --> 00:05:38,231 We seem to be heading southeast. Where am I going? 44 00:05:38,336 --> 00:05:39,997 Hope you like the smell of fresh liberation. 45 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,167 Give me a sec. 46 00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:45,305 I gotta growler down there the size of a cane frog. 47 00:05:49,247 --> 00:05:50,009 Turaqistan. 48 00:05:50,682 --> 00:05:51,307 What's the gig? 49 00:05:54,284 --> 00:05:55,148 Omar Sharif. 50 00:05:55,619 --> 00:05:56,882 - Omar Sharif? - Yeah. 51 00:05:57,288 --> 00:06:00,037 The CEO of Ugi Gas, the Ugikistani conglomerate. 52 00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:03,889 He is building a pipeline through his country. 53 00:06:04,495 --> 00:06:07,931 We didn't liberate Turaqistan to get hustled by a fez head. 54 00:06:08,664 --> 00:06:09,221 Terminate. 55 00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:11,460 Do do that voodoo that you do so well. 56 00:06:11,902 --> 00:06:14,496 You'll be working directly under the viceroy just appointed by the president. 57 00:06:14,605 --> 00:06:18,086 His identity is still being withheld on a need to know basis. 58 00:06:18,186 --> 00:06:20,871 - And no one needs to know. - He asked for you personally. 59 00:06:21,545 --> 00:06:23,930 - What's my cover? - Trade show producer. 60 00:06:24,030 --> 00:06:27,471 Trade show? What show? What show? 61 00:06:27,583 --> 00:06:28,812 It's gonna be huge. 62 00:06:29,319 --> 00:06:32,186 Tamerlane is sponsoring a trade expo, Brand USA. 63 00:06:32,755 --> 00:06:35,539 It's our big launch bringing democracy to this part of the world. 64 00:06:35,639 --> 00:06:38,707 We've bombed the shit out of them, there's a lot of rebuilding to do. 65 00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:41,776 - Shows a nice spirit. - Somebody has to help them. 66 00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:45,800 This is a great opportunity for Tamerlane and the U.S. 67 00:06:46,302 --> 00:06:48,282 Not to mention the people of Turaqistan. 68 00:06:48,382 --> 00:06:51,791 And to top it all off, there's gonna be a gala wedding. Isn't that great? 69 00:06:51,891 --> 00:06:55,794 Seems like a pretty elaborate cover. I'm gonna be responsible for all that shit? 70 00:06:55,894 --> 00:06:57,310 This is a historic moment. 71 00:06:58,046 --> 00:07:02,597 The first war ever to be 100% outsourced to private enterprise. 72 00:07:02,697 --> 00:07:05,847 Tamerlane jets, Tamerlane tanks, Tamerlane soldiers. 73 00:07:06,388 --> 00:07:09,289 And to top it all off, the Brand USA expo. 74 00:07:09,858 --> 00:07:11,189 It's your show, baby. 75 00:08:07,348 --> 00:08:09,248 Welcome to the Turaqi Green Zone, sir. 76 00:08:32,238 --> 00:08:36,139 Tamerlane welcomes Expo Turaqistan, Brand USA. 77 00:08:54,626 --> 00:08:56,842 Welcome to Turaqistan, sir. I'm Marsha Dillon... 78 00:08:56,942 --> 00:08:57,975 hoping you're ready to kill. 79 00:08:58,075 --> 00:08:58,893 I've been briefed. 80 00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,265 SPF-Eighty-seven, sir. 81 00:09:03,101 --> 00:09:04,090 - Shall we? - Yes. 82 00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:15,002 It all looks good. 83 00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:17,827 Great lights. 84 00:09:17,927 --> 00:09:19,130 Take out the Tamercard. 85 00:09:19,230 --> 00:09:20,148 What's your cover, by the way? 86 00:09:20,718 --> 00:09:24,267 Undergrad Wharton with a masters in communication at the Annenberg School. 87 00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:25,788 - Very impressive. - Well, it's fake. 88 00:09:26,991 --> 00:09:29,809 - Tell me that's not the stage? - I think it is. 89 00:09:29,909 --> 00:09:31,122 East, honey, east. 90 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,646 Do you want people turning away from the stage to pray five times a day? 91 00:09:34,746 --> 00:09:37,200 Cultural sensitivity. That's what we're about here. 92 00:09:37,768 --> 00:09:38,700 Sorry, sir. 93 00:09:41,504 --> 00:09:44,372 What exactly is wrong with my credentials? 94 00:09:44,475 --> 00:09:47,103 I've been cleared. My colleagues are going in. 95 00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:50,796 - Am I being singled out for some reason? - I can't allow that. 96 00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:52,298 Very curious. 97 00:09:52,398 --> 00:09:55,769 - Find out who she is. - Very curious situation. 98 00:09:55,869 --> 00:09:57,444 - Let's go, ma'am. - Oh. Okay. 99 00:09:59,089 --> 00:10:00,852 And set up a meeting with her in my office. 100 00:10:02,325 --> 00:10:03,815 Do I have an office? 101 00:10:05,095 --> 00:10:06,426 Great. Carry on. 102 00:10:06,529 --> 00:10:08,895 Yes, and I'll just try to rearrange the entire place. 103 00:10:08,998 --> 00:10:10,488 - Just see if you can spin it. - Yes. 104 00:10:14,503 --> 00:10:16,438 Ms. Hegalhuzen. 105 00:10:24,146 --> 00:10:25,670 Your 2:30's here. 106 00:10:27,684 --> 00:10:29,583 I read your piece in "Atlantic Monthly". 107 00:10:30,686 --> 00:10:31,880 Very provocative. 108 00:10:32,788 --> 00:10:34,915 - Nice office. - It's bulletproof. 109 00:10:39,228 --> 00:10:40,092 Send her in. 110 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:51,929 Passion. This is beautiful. 111 00:10:56,878 --> 00:10:57,708 Thank you! 112 00:10:58,213 --> 00:11:00,408 Hey, okay, okay, we'll be in touch. 113 00:11:00,516 --> 00:11:02,928 - It's a gift. I brought a gift to you. - Thank you. 114 00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:04,952 - It's a form of dance. - Thank you. Good stuff. 115 00:11:05,052 --> 00:11:07,213 Pay-for-view TV. Next week! 116 00:11:10,458 --> 00:11:11,837 And you are an angel. 117 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:12,951 Thanks for the bag! 118 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,277 Ms."Hugelhazen". 119 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,195 Hegalhuzen. 120 00:11:18,865 --> 00:11:21,150 - Hegalhuzen. Brand Hauser. - Hello. 121 00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:22,181 - Hi. - Hey. 122 00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:23,168 Come on in. 123 00:11:27,841 --> 00:11:28,535 Now... 124 00:11:30,578 --> 00:11:31,738 Holy shit! 125 00:11:34,148 --> 00:11:36,965 So, you're here to cover our little trade show... 126 00:11:37,065 --> 00:11:40,451 "...that's being billed as a liberating Turaqistan... 127 00:11:40,554 --> 00:11:44,183 satisfy the American consumer's dreams just the opposite now. 128 00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:47,874 The proposed Expo Turaqistan offers nothing more than the auctioning of... 129 00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:52,125 Turaqistan's future to the cause of profit and international branding. 130 00:11:52,966 --> 00:11:54,350 Yeah, I remember that because I wrote it. 131 00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:57,084 There's no corruption here. Just read the Silverman James Report. 132 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,752 I have. It's bullshit. 133 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:03,828 Look. We've already kicked out of this place. What are we supposed to do? 134 00:12:03,928 --> 00:12:07,195 Turn our backs on all of the entrepreneurial possibilities? 135 00:12:07,295 --> 00:12:11,773 Business is human response to a moral or cosmic crisis. 136 00:12:12,351 --> 00:12:15,333 Whether it's a tsunami or a sustained aerial bombardment... 137 00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:17,787 there's the same urgent call for urban renewal. 138 00:12:19,725 --> 00:12:21,840 When did they start attacking inside the Emerald City? 139 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,292 I wouldn't call that an attack. 140 00:12:25,831 --> 00:12:28,391 Well, technically, that was a bombing. At least it sounded like it was. 141 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,468 Not an attack, which would imply something else. 142 00:12:31,303 --> 00:12:33,361 Do you really think I'm as bad as all this? 143 00:12:34,105 --> 00:12:35,903 - I don't know anything about you. - Would you like to? 144 00:12:36,575 --> 00:12:37,053 It's my job. 145 00:12:37,153 --> 00:12:39,906 You make it sound so tedious. Could be fun. 146 00:12:40,045 --> 00:12:42,376 - Then why don't I begin? - Thought you'd never ask. 147 00:12:44,782 --> 00:12:46,148 Would you excuse me for one minute? 148 00:12:51,923 --> 00:12:53,914 - Call me soon. - When? 149 00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:54,923 You'll feel it. 150 00:12:55,659 --> 00:12:58,810 - All righty then. Where were we? - I haven't said anything yet. 151 00:12:58,910 --> 00:13:00,613 Excellent, 'cause I don't remember hearing anything. 152 00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,814 - Then we're off to a great start. - What can I do for you? 153 00:13:02,914 --> 00:13:06,392 Why do I have access? Even on such a low level. 154 00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:07,830 Ouch. 155 00:13:08,573 --> 00:13:12,291 All my writings have called this a violation of international law... 156 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:13,934 and its practitioners are criminals. 157 00:13:14,444 --> 00:13:16,412 Do you really believe all the stuff you write? 158 00:13:16,513 --> 00:13:19,210 Anyone who could cause this much mayhem when he didn't have to? 159 00:13:20,051 --> 00:13:21,574 The amount of suffering that I've seen? 160 00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:23,045 Hang on. 161 00:13:26,089 --> 00:13:27,351 Okay. Hold on a sec. 162 00:13:27,925 --> 00:13:29,309 But the way I look at it is this. 163 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:33,279 The day we can actually feel and hear all the suffering of mankind... 164 00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,558 that's the day when the Christ will come back. 165 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:38,860 So we got that going for us. I'll be out in a minute. 166 00:13:40,137 --> 00:13:43,038 Or the Buddha, or Allah, whoever floats your boat. 167 00:13:44,107 --> 00:13:45,096 Ms. Hagenhazel. 168 00:13:45,676 --> 00:13:47,093 - Call me Natalie. - Natalie. 169 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:50,806 I really must run. I feel like we're on the verge of something important. 170 00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:54,910 Do you think we could continue this conversation over drinks? 171 00:13:56,552 --> 00:13:58,179 - Drinks? - Yeah, I know a friendly place. 172 00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:03,120 Marsha, will you set that up? 9, 10-ish? 173 00:14:17,473 --> 00:14:19,736 Unattended cars will be crushed and incinerated. 174 00:14:23,913 --> 00:14:26,028 Hello, sir. Welcome to Popeye's. How can I help you? 175 00:14:26,128 --> 00:14:30,299 I'll have crawfish �touff�e, the Big Flava chicken sandwich with Boss Sauce... 176 00:14:30,399 --> 00:14:32,945 and to top off my meal, a frothy orange drink. 177 00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:36,482 - I'm here to see the viceroy. - Sir. 178 00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:39,116 Don't mention his name. Follow me! 179 00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:48,192 Okay! 180 00:14:54,174 --> 00:14:57,144 Let's go, boys. One, two, one, two march! 181 00:15:19,099 --> 00:15:20,999 - He's not here? - Closed circuit, sir. 182 00:15:22,202 --> 00:15:23,917 Welcome to liberated Turaqistan, Hauser. 183 00:15:24,017 --> 00:15:25,583 Big fan. Have been for ages. 184 00:15:25,683 --> 00:15:27,016 Sorry for the secret identity bullshit... 185 00:15:27,116 --> 00:15:28,701 but it's a brave new security. 186 00:15:29,176 --> 00:15:32,156 I'll be contacting you by phone, but if you wish to contact me... 187 00:15:32,256 --> 00:15:34,110 you'll have to come here to the bunker, 'kay? 188 00:15:34,847 --> 00:15:36,178 Omar Sharif. 189 00:15:36,278 --> 00:15:39,410 He's staying at the Freedom Grand through the closing ceremony. 190 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:40,816 Make sure he doesn't make his plane. 191 00:15:41,387 --> 00:15:41,876 Got it. 192 00:15:41,988 --> 00:15:44,238 Now, about this closing ceremony... 193 00:15:44,338 --> 00:15:46,985 It looks like we Yonica Babyyeah wedding. Incredible, huh? 194 00:15:47,093 --> 00:15:48,841 What is a Yonica Babyyeah? 195 00:15:48,941 --> 00:15:50,486 The Britney Spears of Central Asia. 196 00:15:50,596 --> 00:15:53,048 Kids from Baca to Yemen are nuts for her. 197 00:15:53,148 --> 00:15:54,781 Anyway. The point is... 198 00:15:54,881 --> 00:15:57,150 this weddin' is the grand finale of the trade show. 199 00:15:57,250 --> 00:16:00,656 This is the biggest extravaganza in the history of Central Asia. 200 00:16:00,756 --> 00:16:02,624 And it's the centerpiece of our P.R. blitz here. 201 00:16:02,724 --> 00:16:04,470 It's perfect branding synergy, Hauser. 202 00:16:04,609 --> 00:16:08,327 Blends the image of an American-style woman getting her own and getting it on. 203 00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:09,730 A great new democratic dynasty... 204 00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:13,364 with all the strength and virility of traditional warlords. 205 00:16:13,464 --> 00:16:15,566 Exactly. That's why you're the best. 206 00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:18,668 Overall, we see it as a pretty irresistible package. 207 00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:21,954 We're getting worldwide coverage, U.S. networks, Sky Channel, Al Jazeera... 208 00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:23,107 so make it big buddy. 209 00:16:23,207 --> 00:16:25,844 See she gets everything she wants and make this a grand finale... 210 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,112 the world will never forget. 211 00:16:27,212 --> 00:16:27,858 You bet. 212 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,653 Jeff? So, listen. I met this guy... No, he's just some mid-level schmo. 213 00:16:32,753 --> 00:16:36,624 Anyway, I think if I play him right, I can get a pass out of the Green Zone... 214 00:16:36,724 --> 00:16:38,767 and I can see what's really going on here. 215 00:16:39,410 --> 00:16:40,399 No chip for me, thanks. 216 00:16:40,511 --> 00:16:42,445 Ma'am, you really won't get the full experience without the chip. 217 00:16:42,546 --> 00:16:44,263 Doctor's orders. I get hives. 218 00:16:44,363 --> 00:16:47,065 Welcome to Implanted Journalist Experience. 219 00:16:47,165 --> 00:16:50,052 Thanks to cutting-edge Tamerlane Interactive Technology... 220 00:16:50,154 --> 00:16:54,887 we are now able to reduce the risk of journalist mortality to virtually zero. 221 00:16:55,392 --> 00:16:58,143 The Combat-o-Rama Implantation Device... 222 00:16:58,243 --> 00:17:01,811 will allow you to experience full spectrum sensory reality. 223 00:17:01,911 --> 00:17:04,682 Over the next seventy-two hours, some of you may experience... 224 00:17:04,782 --> 00:17:07,396 headaches, nausea and some muscle pain. This is normal. 225 00:17:07,505 --> 00:17:10,200 If symptoms of epilepsy occur, please notify your doctor. 226 00:17:10,773 --> 00:17:11,831 Thanks and enjoy the ride. 227 00:17:44,406 --> 00:17:45,031 Mr. Hauser! 228 00:17:46,175 --> 00:17:46,971 Mr. Hauser! 229 00:17:47,075 --> 00:17:51,034 Yonica Baby is two minutes from arrival. We need to go. 230 00:18:50,737 --> 00:18:52,763 Yonica! I love you! 231 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,640 Jesus Christ. 232 00:19:03,149 --> 00:19:04,797 Hi. Welcome. How was traffic? 233 00:19:04,897 --> 00:19:06,634 I hear those checkpoints can be murder. 234 00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:09,701 Where is dressing room? I'm fucking wasted. 235 00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:10,701 Well, let me show you. 236 00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,674 She needs Popeye ten-piece box. All white meat. 237 00:19:12,774 --> 00:19:15,250 Extra crispy, extra spicy. Diet Coke. You get it? 238 00:19:15,862 --> 00:19:16,988 And pickles. 239 00:19:17,597 --> 00:19:19,678 She wants pickles. Clausen classic dill pickles. 240 00:19:19,778 --> 00:19:20,980 - Pickles? - Yeah. 241 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,830 - All right... - You are big boss? 242 00:19:24,703 --> 00:19:26,763 - I guess I am, yeah. - How big? 243 00:19:27,941 --> 00:19:28,723 Don't do that. 244 00:19:28,822 --> 00:19:30,104 Confiscate that film. 245 00:19:31,643 --> 00:19:33,440 I do what I want. Okay? 246 00:19:33,545 --> 00:19:35,295 Of course you do and we're excited to have you. 247 00:19:35,395 --> 00:19:36,164 Don't get too excited. 248 00:19:36,264 --> 00:19:38,341 I'm not that excited. Let me show you to your dressing room. 249 00:19:38,784 --> 00:19:40,809 Get some chicken, pickles. and whatever you want. 250 00:19:41,654 --> 00:19:43,519 Come on in. Hi. Nice work with the bat. 251 00:19:44,490 --> 00:19:46,354 How are you? Hi, good luck. 252 00:19:46,892 --> 00:19:50,089 Hi. Mr. Pickle. Las Vegas. Mr. Federline. 253 00:19:57,803 --> 00:20:01,761 The impending marriage of Central Asian pop star... 254 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:06,768 and Ooq- Mi-Fay Taqnufmini the scion of the powerful Turaqi clan. 255 00:20:07,645 --> 00:20:10,395 The marriage. A symbol of democratization... 256 00:20:10,495 --> 00:20:12,881 or a sleazy public relations stunt? 257 00:20:13,384 --> 00:20:16,703 Yes or no? 258 00:20:16,803 --> 00:20:17,652 Natalie. 259 00:20:18,622 --> 00:20:19,555 - Hi. - Hi. 260 00:20:20,091 --> 00:20:22,559 Jesus. What is this place? 261 00:20:22,727 --> 00:20:24,456 It's the Freedom Grand. How do you like it? 262 00:20:24,595 --> 00:20:27,654 Guess I could go with strange love in the desert. 263 00:20:28,098 --> 00:20:30,897 Weird. Rarefied. Coven-like. 264 00:20:31,836 --> 00:20:33,804 - Stop me if I'm rambling. - Stop. Sit. 265 00:20:34,338 --> 00:20:38,206 Can I get a double bourbon? Vodka twist? How's that? 266 00:20:39,109 --> 00:20:40,702 - Okay. - Thank you. 267 00:20:41,245 --> 00:20:43,644 So, you're producing the big... 268 00:20:43,947 --> 00:20:47,631 Freedom's on the March economic land-grab masquerade. 269 00:20:47,731 --> 00:20:49,845 Are you with Tamerlane employee or a freelance producer? 270 00:20:50,354 --> 00:20:51,912 That's complicated. Let's get to that later. 271 00:20:52,255 --> 00:20:54,155 I just wanted to get to know you. 272 00:20:57,394 --> 00:20:58,792 Okay, tell me about yourself. 273 00:20:59,762 --> 00:21:03,616 Just doing this gig, trying to make the best of a bad situation. 274 00:21:03,716 --> 00:21:06,760 Looking for redemption in all the wrong places. Stop me now if I'm rambling. 275 00:21:07,269 --> 00:21:08,759 - Okay, stop. - How about you? 276 00:21:08,871 --> 00:21:09,769 How about me what? 277 00:21:09,872 --> 00:21:12,136 You know, tell me about you. Where're you from? 278 00:21:13,577 --> 00:21:15,703 Who gives a fuck? Are you serious? 279 00:21:16,145 --> 00:21:18,841 I'm serious as a deacon. I'd like to get to know you as a person. 280 00:21:20,349 --> 00:21:21,976 For God's sakes... why? 281 00:21:24,687 --> 00:21:28,418 Well, what the hell else are we gonna do on this dark and lonely night? 282 00:21:30,393 --> 00:21:32,810 So you wanna seduce the journalist whose politics you despise? 283 00:21:32,910 --> 00:21:34,543 How dare you? I have no politics. 284 00:21:34,643 --> 00:21:36,654 Everyone does, even if they don't know it. 285 00:21:38,033 --> 00:21:40,500 - Not me. - Just a straight mercenary? 286 00:21:40,602 --> 00:21:42,365 I'm a host. I'm a showman. I'm an organizer. 287 00:21:42,470 --> 00:21:45,723 There's just people here. Some good, some bad. All interesting. 288 00:21:45,823 --> 00:21:48,822 You seem like an interesting person and I try not to over-think these things. 289 00:21:48,922 --> 00:21:52,607 You're a clever guy. Some would even call you charming. 290 00:21:53,114 --> 00:21:56,914 But it gets tired, doesn't it? All that patter, the show biz, it's just a mask. 291 00:21:57,485 --> 00:21:59,680 There's gotta be a person in there somewhere. 292 00:22:02,390 --> 00:22:05,984 Did you know that "person" comes from the Latin word persona which means mask? 293 00:22:06,693 --> 00:22:08,742 Being human means we invite spectators... 294 00:22:08,842 --> 00:22:10,695 to ponder what lies behind. 295 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,780 Each of us would be composed of a variety of masks. 296 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,689 And if we can see behind the mask, we would get a burst of clarity. 297 00:22:18,789 --> 00:22:22,698 If that flame was bright enough, then we fall in love. 298 00:22:23,644 --> 00:22:25,509 What's your opinion on these divine matters? 299 00:22:27,915 --> 00:22:30,042 I'm not gonna fuck you. You know that, right? 300 00:22:31,919 --> 00:22:33,716 Oh, I hope that you know that somewhere. 301 00:22:34,822 --> 00:22:36,537 I sense you're such an angry woman. 302 00:22:36,637 --> 00:22:38,873 You're just intent to laying waste to all of us, aren't you? 303 00:22:38,973 --> 00:22:43,124 That was the best half-true frontier gibberish I've heard. 304 00:22:43,764 --> 00:22:44,321 Thanks. 305 00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:46,678 - Hey. Listen. - Yes? 306 00:22:46,778 --> 00:22:49,234 All access pass to the trade show, compliments of the house. 307 00:22:50,137 --> 00:22:51,900 - Don't be a stranger. - I won't be. 308 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,706 Now, let's get these pass�'s right. 309 00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,674 Ayat, a little knee jerk. 310 00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:01,808 Make it work. Make it work. 311 00:23:02,949 --> 00:23:03,745 Very good. 312 00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:06,566 All in the legs, girls. 313 00:23:06,666 --> 00:23:08,381 How many times do we have to say this? Ayat! 314 00:23:09,489 --> 00:23:10,079 Higher! 315 00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:16,659 Big smile, Reshbeck! For God's sake. 316 00:23:18,029 --> 00:23:18,859 Thank you. 317 00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:20,179 You're back for some more gibberish. 318 00:23:20,279 --> 00:23:21,677 You remember Marsha? This is Peter Parker. 319 00:23:21,777 --> 00:23:25,693 Choreographer, worked with Rob Marshall, all the big musicals. 320 00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:28,616 It's incredible. Each girl is a trans-femoral amputee... 321 00:23:28,716 --> 00:23:29,956 who had lost her leg during the liberation. 322 00:23:30,056 --> 00:23:36,492 And thanks to Tamerlane, we can have you up and dancing in no time. 323 00:23:36,592 --> 00:23:38,831 Just another example of how American know-how... 324 00:23:38,931 --> 00:23:40,407 alleviates the suffering it creates. 325 00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:45,637 Look at this. Hamy Shenkman had her leg blown off by an M-18 Claymore landmine. 326 00:23:45,737 --> 00:23:50,712 And, Conyel Bisland... an M-72 rocket-propelled grenade... 327 00:23:50,812 --> 00:23:52,341 that mistakenly hit her high school. 328 00:23:52,441 --> 00:23:55,316 And Tamerlane used the exact same RPG firing pin rod assembly technology... 329 00:23:55,416 --> 00:23:57,717 that it uses in the prosthetic knees of its. 330 00:23:57,817 --> 00:23:59,314 Talk about vertical integration. 331 00:23:59,414 --> 00:24:01,098 It's hot in here. Let me get that for ya. 332 00:24:01,205 --> 00:24:02,570 Krishmish, come over here. 333 00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:07,969 This is Ms. Hegalhuzen, she's writing a story about the show. 334 00:24:08,078 --> 00:24:09,327 All right. Okay. 335 00:24:09,427 --> 00:24:11,142 Ms. Babyyeah's ready for her run-through. 336 00:24:11,949 --> 00:24:13,564 We've gotta go. My trade show's your trade show. 337 00:24:13,664 --> 00:24:14,845 Come on, girls. Gather here. 338 00:24:36,705 --> 00:24:39,640 You say you want to invade me, baby 339 00:24:40,076 --> 00:24:43,534 You say you want to enslave me, baby 340 00:24:45,815 --> 00:24:48,612 I want to blow you up 341 00:24:51,454 --> 00:24:54,423 You say you want to free me, baby 342 00:24:54,857 --> 00:24:58,519 BGut you cannot even see me, baby 343 00:25:00,663 --> 00:25:02,631 I want to blow you up 344 00:25:06,234 --> 00:25:10,193 I want to blow you sky high, high, go fly 345 00:25:12,673 --> 00:25:16,825 I want to blow 346 00:25:16,925 --> 00:25:17,674 You 347 00:25:21,048 --> 00:25:23,984 You want to occupy my heart and soul 348 00:25:24,519 --> 00:25:27,613 A black widow in a spider hole 349 00:25:30,224 --> 00:25:32,022 I want to blow you up 350 00:25:35,831 --> 00:25:39,027 I want to blow you up 351 00:25:43,071 --> 00:25:46,597 I want to blow you down if it's okay 352 00:25:47,608 --> 00:25:49,838 Mr. Hauser, how do you feel about the image of Turaqi women... 353 00:25:51,612 --> 00:25:52,271 My coat! 354 00:25:54,815 --> 00:25:55,713 Cut! 355 00:26:03,823 --> 00:26:06,156 So there's this reporter who really despises me. 356 00:26:06,994 --> 00:26:10,656 I mean, she doesn't really despise me, she despises what I represent. 357 00:26:12,532 --> 00:26:15,900 I think if she knew the real me, she'd hate me even more. 358 00:26:16,672 --> 00:26:17,297 I mean, don't you think? 359 00:26:17,837 --> 00:26:19,771 I wasn't there. Does it really matter? 360 00:26:20,373 --> 00:26:23,274 Actually, I think I just like the sound of her voice. 361 00:26:23,710 --> 00:26:25,940 I could listen to her revile me for hours. 362 00:26:26,579 --> 00:26:29,446 Do you think with her, the reporter I mean, it's just about sex? 363 00:26:29,849 --> 00:26:31,908 - What do you mean just? - I don't know. 364 00:26:32,552 --> 00:26:36,648 There's this Turaqi pop star. She disturbs me and I can't figure out why. 365 00:26:37,223 --> 00:26:39,123 Could you be attracted to her sexually? 366 00:26:40,293 --> 00:26:42,123 No, are you crazy? She's just a little... 367 00:26:42,227 --> 00:26:44,855 I'm not calling you in the middle of the night, Mr. Hauser. 368 00:26:44,963 --> 00:26:46,780 - I gotta go. - Whatever. 369 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,164 You're a fuckin' asshole. 370 00:26:48,868 --> 00:26:49,630 GuideStar! 371 00:26:55,441 --> 00:26:58,035 This has to end for me, sir. I want a different kind of life. 372 00:26:58,844 --> 00:27:00,209 I want to get married, start a family. 373 00:27:00,846 --> 00:27:02,780 Operation Chickenhawk never ends. 374 00:27:03,749 --> 00:27:05,830 The ceaseless epic struggle to dominate... 375 00:27:05,930 --> 00:27:09,602 the destiny of man obliges his noble cares to continually purge the world... 376 00:27:09,702 --> 00:27:12,040 of those who are evil-doers. 377 00:27:12,140 --> 00:27:13,989 But that's not just working for me right now, sir. 378 00:27:14,625 --> 00:27:15,591 A woman? 379 00:27:18,695 --> 00:27:20,891 You and I, Hauser, are a part of a rug hook. 380 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:26,236 All these years I felt a special bond. Don't you feel that? 381 00:27:28,339 --> 00:27:28,896 No. 382 00:27:29,474 --> 00:27:30,567 Well, you think about it. 383 00:27:31,309 --> 00:27:33,261 If you still feel this way in a couple of days... 384 00:27:33,361 --> 00:27:34,276 I already told you, sir. 385 00:27:35,313 --> 00:27:36,974 - That'll be all. - Yes, sir. 386 00:28:18,088 --> 00:28:19,635 Marsha, this is kind of a bad time. 387 00:28:19,735 --> 00:28:24,171 Hey! I wanted to give you the heads up. A delivery should be there any second. 388 00:28:24,271 --> 00:28:25,159 When, now? 389 00:28:28,596 --> 00:28:29,585 Oh, shit. 390 00:28:48,784 --> 00:28:50,775 Sir, I have your dry cleaning, sir! 391 00:28:51,654 --> 00:28:53,143 Thank you. Thank you. 392 00:28:54,489 --> 00:28:55,547 I need the ticket, sir. 393 00:28:56,558 --> 00:28:59,039 - I have that somewhere. - Yeah, I need that claim ticket, sir. 394 00:28:59,139 --> 00:29:03,745 I think I put it... should be around here somewhere. 395 00:29:03,845 --> 00:29:07,381 - You're talking about the claim ticket? - It's around here somewhere. 396 00:29:07,481 --> 00:29:09,617 - Sir, can you hurry? - Yep. 397 00:29:09,717 --> 00:29:11,535 Sir, I gotta have that ticket or... 398 00:29:15,009 --> 00:29:15,532 No, no... 399 00:29:18,178 --> 00:29:19,168 Oh, here it is. 400 00:29:19,848 --> 00:29:22,612 - Sir, you have a nice day. - Sure. 401 00:29:25,086 --> 00:29:27,553 Yo, yo, yo, mother fuckers! 402 00:29:51,044 --> 00:29:51,601 It's me. 403 00:29:58,484 --> 00:29:59,451 - Hi. - Hi. 404 00:30:00,052 --> 00:30:02,838 Straight from the dry in Rammstein, Germany 405 00:30:02,938 --> 00:30:05,688 You can't believe these guys. 20 years ahead of the rest of the world. 406 00:30:05,792 --> 00:30:08,453 And this cost the U.S. taxpayers, what? Three, four grand? 407 00:30:08,561 --> 00:30:10,392 Be nice. I'm really sorry about the jacket. 408 00:30:10,496 --> 00:30:11,326 Okay. 409 00:30:11,430 --> 00:30:13,248 Listen, would you like to get a Turaqi coffee? 410 00:30:13,348 --> 00:30:16,049 I hear they make it great here. Cardamom mace. The good kind. 411 00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:17,817 I was just about to wash my hair. 412 00:30:17,917 --> 00:30:20,065 It's a delicacy. Sweetened with pomegranate honey. 413 00:30:21,307 --> 00:30:22,103 One cup? 414 00:30:26,612 --> 00:30:27,579 Give me a minute. 415 00:30:38,557 --> 00:30:39,102 What? 416 00:30:39,202 --> 00:30:42,143 There's just something irresistible about a Western woman speaking Turaqi. 417 00:30:42,243 --> 00:30:43,976 Is that a recognized international phenomena? 418 00:30:44,076 --> 00:30:45,792 No. It's a personal sensibility. 419 00:30:47,832 --> 00:30:51,050 Look. I admit I don't actually believe any of this stuff we say. 420 00:30:51,150 --> 00:30:53,785 I mean, not in the sense that I believe it to be actually true. 421 00:30:53,885 --> 00:30:56,841 You talk too much. I want to ask you something. 422 00:30:57,842 --> 00:31:01,960 Doesn't it hurt you to put yourself in such a contorted moral position? 423 00:31:02,060 --> 00:31:04,913 Can you tell me, for example, one completely honest thing? 424 00:31:07,652 --> 00:31:08,584 One. 425 00:31:13,724 --> 00:31:16,941 This is Donny Loo's favorite juice. 426 00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:20,519 It is rated at just under a quarter million Scoville units. 427 00:31:21,565 --> 00:31:24,682 When I find the demands of life to be challenging... 428 00:31:24,782 --> 00:31:25,997 I take a wee drop. 429 00:31:27,371 --> 00:31:28,702 The more challenging... 430 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,274 the higher the Scoville units. 431 00:31:34,378 --> 00:31:36,141 - Let me. - Be careful. 432 00:31:37,146 --> 00:31:40,033 But the trick, you see... 433 00:31:40,133 --> 00:31:42,677 that I've taught myself, is to never allow my eyes to tear up. 434 00:31:49,359 --> 00:31:51,055 One completely honest thing. 435 00:31:52,062 --> 00:31:55,645 If you really knew me, you'd despise me even more than you do. 436 00:31:55,745 --> 00:31:57,166 No. I don't despise you. 437 00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:01,667 I don't really care enough. 438 00:32:29,331 --> 00:32:29,854 Marsha. 439 00:32:32,067 --> 00:32:35,468 It's fucking great. Michael Bay can blow me. 440 00:32:35,570 --> 00:32:36,751 He can and he should. 441 00:32:36,851 --> 00:32:39,088 - We do all of Yonica's videos. - We're blowing up. 442 00:32:39,188 --> 00:32:40,586 A bad choice of words. 443 00:32:40,686 --> 00:32:42,592 Listen, guys, this has been great. Thank you. 444 00:32:42,692 --> 00:32:45,029 I have another meeting. I have to run. But I, I really enjoyed it. 445 00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:47,560 Let us have some footage of the wedding. We'll hook you up, dude. 446 00:32:47,660 --> 00:32:49,831 Hey, we know everything that goes on in Turaqistan. 447 00:32:49,930 --> 00:32:53,337 No place we cannot go, no one we don't know, nothing we cannot do. 448 00:32:53,437 --> 00:32:54,034 Okay. 449 00:32:54,134 --> 00:32:56,603 Does one of you have a card? Whoever the leader is. 450 00:32:56,703 --> 00:32:57,839 Here we go. The Jackpot. 451 00:32:57,939 --> 00:32:59,722 Here, thank you. Thank you. 452 00:33:00,628 --> 00:33:03,547 There you go. You have his, and he has yours. 453 00:33:03,647 --> 00:33:04,677 - Yes. - He's got yours. 454 00:33:04,777 --> 00:33:05,960 - It's gonna be great. - Bye-bye, guys. 455 00:33:09,702 --> 00:33:11,363 Where's my package? 456 00:33:12,139 --> 00:33:14,663 The shipment left the warehouse in Dubai 2 days ago. 457 00:33:15,108 --> 00:33:16,235 We're tracking it. 458 00:33:18,312 --> 00:33:20,280 Just get me a fuckin' cobra, all right? 459 00:33:21,048 --> 00:33:23,038 - A snake? - Yeah. Chop-chop. 460 00:33:31,591 --> 00:33:33,320 Come on, spit it out. 461 00:33:37,865 --> 00:33:40,389 Is only me, Mr. Big 462 00:33:42,569 --> 00:33:44,434 Yonica. Hi. 463 00:33:45,305 --> 00:33:48,787 Listen. Sorry about my reaction to your song. I didn't mean to offend you. 464 00:33:48,887 --> 00:33:54,212 No. I am sorry. I am so stupid to not understand that you are woman. 465 00:33:54,314 --> 00:33:55,042 Uh, sorry? 466 00:33:55,713 --> 00:33:59,878 In Turaqi we have no word for this. Same as for a woman. 467 00:34:01,387 --> 00:34:03,704 No, no, no. That's not it. 468 00:34:03,804 --> 00:34:07,088 I predict most people. Why not you? 469 00:34:08,660 --> 00:34:10,424 How my ass make you puke? 470 00:34:10,530 --> 00:34:12,981 Bad babakanoosh or something. 471 00:34:13,081 --> 00:34:15,180 I think you're lovely. Stunning, actually. 472 00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:16,632 - Lovely? - Yes. 473 00:34:18,703 --> 00:34:20,431 You think attractive? 474 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:23,564 Yep. Definitely. 475 00:34:28,779 --> 00:34:31,442 - Does her ass make you puke? - Who? Who? Who? 476 00:34:31,550 --> 00:34:34,815 That skinny bitch reporter with the tape recorder. 477 00:34:35,354 --> 00:34:35,843 No. 478 00:34:35,954 --> 00:34:38,820 You're a tit man. Do you want massage? 479 00:34:39,323 --> 00:34:40,847 Be a happy ending. 480 00:34:43,795 --> 00:34:45,785 Does your father know that you talk this way? 481 00:34:46,264 --> 00:34:47,492 - My father? - Yeah. 482 00:34:48,266 --> 00:34:49,824 I do not speak to him anymore. 483 00:34:50,201 --> 00:34:55,537 But he sends me money for dancing lessons and singing lessons. 484 00:34:57,408 --> 00:34:58,841 I am with Ooq-Mi-Fay now. 485 00:34:59,709 --> 00:35:01,699 And he wants for me to be big success. 486 00:35:02,345 --> 00:35:05,747 Yonica rules. That is what he says to me. 487 00:35:06,651 --> 00:35:07,811 - What about your mother? - Dead. 488 00:35:08,386 --> 00:35:08,964 I'm sorry. 489 00:35:09,064 --> 00:35:11,577 For why? You did not kill her. 490 00:35:12,822 --> 00:35:13,789 I don't think so. 491 00:35:14,859 --> 00:35:18,487 Too much sorry. Too much. 492 00:35:20,631 --> 00:35:22,779 Jesus Christ! What is wrong with you? 493 00:35:22,879 --> 00:35:25,982 You are a fucking asshole, do you know that? 494 00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:27,616 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 495 00:35:27,716 --> 00:35:30,786 "I'm sorry". You're always sorry. 496 00:35:30,886 --> 00:35:32,831 Fuck you, Mr. Sorry. Fuck you. 497 00:35:32,976 --> 00:35:34,340 Yonica, don't go away mad. 498 00:35:43,886 --> 00:35:44,682 Marsha? 499 00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:47,819 Get me a dinner reservation tonight. Somewhere with soup. 500 00:35:50,893 --> 00:35:54,577 So everything's OK? You're closing some big deals at the trade show? 501 00:35:54,677 --> 00:35:56,597 Is there an actual reason for this meeting? 502 00:35:58,234 --> 00:35:59,280 I am not big on bullshit. 503 00:35:59,380 --> 00:36:02,687 I'm your host. I want you to be happy nd that everything is... 504 00:36:02,787 --> 00:36:04,603 well and you're taken care of. 505 00:36:06,107 --> 00:36:06,835 A beautiful woman. 506 00:36:07,308 --> 00:36:09,334 There is something we can agree on after all, then. 507 00:36:10,379 --> 00:36:11,641 Can you get me an introduction? 508 00:36:12,448 --> 00:36:14,438 - She's a journalist. - Who cares? 509 00:36:15,850 --> 00:36:18,478 Sit. Don't eat all your soup. 510 00:36:18,853 --> 00:36:19,582 Thank you. 511 00:36:23,858 --> 00:36:27,374 So between your father's indictments, were you still on the lacrosse team? 512 00:36:27,474 --> 00:36:29,760 No. I actually blew out my fuckin' knee. Hey, you. 513 00:36:31,232 --> 00:36:33,132 Hey, we are doing an interview here. 514 00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:34,747 Omar Sharif wants to meet you. 515 00:36:34,847 --> 00:36:36,827 - The actor? - Better. The president of Ugi Gas. 516 00:36:37,839 --> 00:36:38,827 Sorry. Just one minute. 517 00:36:39,773 --> 00:36:41,105 I'm gonna pick this up in one. 518 00:36:43,978 --> 00:36:47,174 who do I have to shoot to get a fuckin' drink around here? 519 00:36:53,888 --> 00:36:54,855 What are you looking at? 520 00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:56,354 What are you looking at? 521 00:37:00,594 --> 00:37:01,390 Get back to normal! 522 00:37:05,098 --> 00:37:07,396 Natalie Hegalhuzen, Omar Sharif. 523 00:37:07,501 --> 00:37:09,469 Exquisitely enraptured, ma ch�re. 524 00:37:09,903 --> 00:37:11,995 - Pleased to meet you, too. - Shall we dance? 525 00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:21,776 How're you doin'? 526 00:37:51,177 --> 00:37:53,960 How come we Americans a hard time? 527 00:37:54,060 --> 00:37:55,444 An interesting conundrum, isn't it? 528 00:37:56,615 --> 00:37:58,105 Very shrewd of you to ask. 529 00:37:58,751 --> 00:38:00,116 What would I get for telling you? 530 00:38:00,819 --> 00:38:04,687 The thrill of knowing you're my confidential source. 531 00:38:05,790 --> 00:38:07,656 The thought of this leaves me breathless. 532 00:38:17,969 --> 00:38:19,800 My dear, let me explain something to you. 533 00:38:20,438 --> 00:38:21,700 The Americans had no plan. 534 00:38:22,639 --> 00:38:24,573 Perhaps next year they will invade my country. 535 00:38:25,075 --> 00:38:27,908 And then, they will either kill me or throw me in jail. 536 00:38:28,512 --> 00:38:29,207 Or kill me in jail. 537 00:38:30,148 --> 00:38:31,740 Or maybe make me president. 538 00:38:32,250 --> 00:38:35,082 Or maybe make me president, then kill me. 539 00:38:35,853 --> 00:38:39,084 That still doesn't answer you question. 540 00:38:39,457 --> 00:38:42,619 Why hasn't the U.S. stopped the Ugi Gas pipeline? 541 00:38:42,860 --> 00:38:45,542 See what you can find out about Operation Chickenhawk. 542 00:38:45,642 --> 00:38:46,492 Chickenhawk? 543 00:39:39,047 --> 00:39:40,105 Yeah, baby! 544 00:39:40,849 --> 00:39:41,816 Get it out. 545 00:39:58,433 --> 00:39:59,900 A message from the viceroy. 546 00:40:00,635 --> 00:40:01,624 Freedom is messy. 547 00:40:02,237 --> 00:40:04,830 Employees must wash hands before returning to work. 548 00:40:20,554 --> 00:40:21,612 What stinks here? 549 00:40:22,289 --> 00:40:26,806 Yeah. You look like piece of shit. You smell like piece of shit. 550 00:40:26,906 --> 00:40:28,020 You want some shit? 551 00:40:41,876 --> 00:40:43,057 Where're you going? Night's young. 552 00:40:43,157 --> 00:40:44,323 This place is crazy. 553 00:40:44,423 --> 00:40:47,228 Would you like to come back to my suite for a quiet drink? 554 00:40:47,328 --> 00:40:51,148 Oh, no thank you, Omar. But I will look into that thing about you told. 555 00:40:54,754 --> 00:40:55,618 Enjoyed it. 556 00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:06,778 - I think I'll go back to my hotel. - Can I drive you? 557 00:41:06,878 --> 00:41:08,047 Oh, no, that's okay. 558 00:41:08,147 --> 00:41:10,067 Let me give you a lift. I can help you. It's safer that way. 559 00:41:11,938 --> 00:41:13,803 Please. I'll feel better. 560 00:41:14,841 --> 00:41:16,206 When did all that construction start? 561 00:41:16,775 --> 00:41:20,527 Oh. They're diverting the river Tures so it runs by the trade show. 562 00:41:20,627 --> 00:41:24,140 They wanted a clear view from the Tiki Room. It's cute, huh? 563 00:41:26,318 --> 00:41:27,808 What do you think of that girl, Yonica? 564 00:41:29,054 --> 00:41:30,248 You don't wanna know. 565 00:41:30,789 --> 00:41:32,587 - Come on. Try me. - Okay. 566 00:41:33,458 --> 00:41:38,678 I think that she's a sad little girl who's been pimped out... 567 00:41:38,778 --> 00:41:42,757 into a pathetic monstrosity of alienated Western sexuality. 568 00:41:43,701 --> 00:41:45,635 How do you feel about that, Mr. Hauser? 569 00:41:46,338 --> 00:41:49,704 She's a disaster. This whole place is a disaster. 570 00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:51,933 So, you're sleeping with her. 571 00:41:52,643 --> 00:41:53,223 No. 572 00:41:53,323 --> 00:41:54,763 Why not? She seems game. 573 00:41:54,863 --> 00:41:58,838 It must be nice to be who you say you are. To do things you believe in. 574 00:41:59,750 --> 00:42:01,775 That's so simple. So clean. 575 00:42:03,387 --> 00:42:05,049 It's like, you know: "why didn't I think of that"? 576 00:42:05,856 --> 00:42:09,986 Well, it's hard not to feel like... 577 00:42:12,229 --> 00:42:14,180 I'm always on the losing side. 578 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:15,289 Well, you are. 579 00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:17,897 Yeah. It gets kinda Ionely. 580 00:42:18,736 --> 00:42:22,251 That's why you got all those peasants and workers to keep you company. 581 00:42:22,351 --> 00:42:24,170 I don't have that big a bed. 582 00:42:24,874 --> 00:42:25,899 Tell me more. 583 00:42:27,878 --> 00:42:29,971 I think that you should take me home now. 584 00:42:35,151 --> 00:42:35,810 Yes, well... 585 00:42:36,386 --> 00:42:38,218 thanks for taking me home. 586 00:42:38,855 --> 00:42:39,913 Oh. Good night then. 587 00:42:53,870 --> 00:42:55,063 Jesus, what was that? 588 00:42:57,172 --> 00:42:59,300 I can't do that... 589 00:43:00,745 --> 00:43:02,825 No. You yourself said, I just don't want to. 590 00:43:02,924 --> 00:43:04,708 - Yeah. Sure. - And good night. 591 00:43:10,387 --> 00:43:11,648 Tomorrow can I see ya? 592 00:43:12,154 --> 00:43:13,644 - Tomorrow? - Yeah. 593 00:43:14,289 --> 00:43:16,052 Reporter's Pool, ten a.m. 594 00:43:16,693 --> 00:43:19,010 Progress update, people. 595 00:43:19,110 --> 00:43:22,109 Banks West didn't even wait for the opening ceremony... 596 00:43:22,209 --> 00:43:25,826 closing a one point 3 billion dollar deal... 597 00:43:25,934 --> 00:43:30,721 with Roof Branch and Blossom to restore essential water services... 598 00:43:30,821 --> 00:43:33,604 to the people of Turaqistan! 599 00:43:34,043 --> 00:43:35,737 Oh, come on! 600 00:43:36,044 --> 00:43:40,527 I'm sure they'd like to give a shout-out to the Tamerlane- Furg-Bomber... 601 00:43:40,627 --> 00:43:43,765 Wing for, for those humane position strikes... 602 00:43:43,865 --> 00:43:48,288 that created this wonderful opportunity for everyone. 603 00:43:51,660 --> 00:43:52,854 So is this like a date? 604 00:43:53,995 --> 00:43:55,257 This is like obscene. 605 00:43:56,164 --> 00:43:58,826 There's something you can do for me that would mean a lot. 606 00:43:59,200 --> 00:43:59,825 Name it. 607 00:44:00,133 --> 00:44:02,782 Get me a pass out of the Emerald City so I can see what's really going on. 608 00:44:02,882 --> 00:44:04,701 - Very dangerous. - I wanna see Fallof. 609 00:44:05,573 --> 00:44:06,687 Natalie, there's nothing there. 610 00:44:06,787 --> 00:44:09,057 I wanna know if it's true that Tamerlane used chemical weapons. 611 00:44:09,157 --> 00:44:11,770 Isn't it a little late to be worrying about international conventions? 612 00:44:12,512 --> 00:44:17,265 Is nerve gas worse than getting your head blown off by a laser missile? 613 00:44:17,365 --> 00:44:19,635 Frankly, it's a nuance that's lost on me. 614 00:44:19,735 --> 00:44:22,235 Besides they were cleared, just read the report. 615 00:44:22,335 --> 00:44:23,937 We're trying to watch a battle here. 616 00:44:24,037 --> 00:44:24,991 Sorry. 617 00:44:28,929 --> 00:44:31,830 Come on, come on, come on. Give me something. Give me something. 618 00:44:31,932 --> 00:44:35,390 Anything's gotta be better than this Xbox bullshit! 619 00:44:35,535 --> 00:44:36,502 Okay, okay. 620 00:44:39,106 --> 00:44:41,788 These guys are big in the Turaqi arts community. 621 00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:43,258 You know, the whole downtown scene? 622 00:44:43,358 --> 00:44:44,832 Might give you a good lead. 623 00:44:48,582 --> 00:44:50,606 I'm hit! I'm hit! 624 00:44:51,083 --> 00:44:53,051 Where's the damn Medevac? 625 00:44:53,586 --> 00:44:55,566 The Tamerlane custom E- Z missile mount can... 626 00:44:55,666 --> 00:44:59,853 be adapted to fit over 200 automobile models... 627 00:44:59,959 --> 00:45:01,742 I thought we were all set with the Ayatollah. 628 00:45:01,842 --> 00:45:02,623 Pick it up, boys. 629 00:45:03,162 --> 00:45:05,595 What do you mean he won't do a mixed wedding? Who's mixed? 630 00:45:06,097 --> 00:45:09,659 Yonica's Episcopalian? How the fuck did that happen? 631 00:45:10,035 --> 00:45:11,161 Will the Sufi work? 632 00:45:11,738 --> 00:45:13,453 Let me call you back. I got another call. 633 00:45:13,553 --> 00:45:14,719 Just get a number for Cat Stevens. 634 00:45:14,819 --> 00:45:18,298 Hello. Can you calm down? Yeah, he's right here. 635 00:45:20,112 --> 00:45:22,011 Yoni... That was the girl. 636 00:45:22,380 --> 00:45:24,265 She said she can't do the wedding if you're involved. 637 00:45:24,365 --> 00:45:25,699 She thinks you don't like her. 638 00:45:25,799 --> 00:45:27,567 - What? - She can't work with you. 639 00:45:27,667 --> 00:45:29,199 I'm on it, I'm on it. Okay. 640 00:45:29,300 --> 00:45:31,639 And then Anderson Cooper, Mr. Salt and Pepper Integrity... 641 00:45:31,739 --> 00:45:35,672 is arriving today and, and all we have left is a junior suite. 642 00:45:35,772 --> 00:45:37,942 Is that okay? I mean, he is a Vanderbilt and everything. 643 00:45:38,042 --> 00:45:39,825 There could be repercussions! 644 00:45:48,672 --> 00:45:49,521 GuideStar! 645 00:45:49,621 --> 00:45:51,992 You seem a little bit, Mr. Hauser. Is everything all right? 646 00:45:52,092 --> 00:45:55,995 My hand was shaking. My hand never shakes. 647 00:45:56,095 --> 00:45:59,446 Worst case, Parkinson's. I can get you a doctor's appointment in Dubai. 648 00:45:59,550 --> 00:46:00,676 I can't focus. 649 00:46:01,351 --> 00:46:03,533 This girl. This reporter. They're in my head. 650 00:46:03,633 --> 00:46:04,734 They're in my fucking brain. 651 00:46:04,834 --> 00:46:07,741 That's not good, Mr. Hauser. Not good. 652 00:46:07,841 --> 00:46:11,191 No, I know it isn't. And now I gotta see her, the little one. 653 00:46:11,294 --> 00:46:13,786 I gotta bring her food.'Cause she won't go to the thing. 654 00:46:15,667 --> 00:46:16,361 Fuck! 655 00:46:36,085 --> 00:46:41,250 Trusting you was a little rude 656 00:46:42,592 --> 00:46:44,718 I wish there was a way 657 00:46:46,329 --> 00:46:50,197 You could sooth that ache in me 658 00:46:51,766 --> 00:46:56,534 Phone cut out When we were talking today 659 00:46:59,242 --> 00:47:05,146 Phone cut out When we were talking today 660 00:47:07,149 --> 00:47:08,081 That was beautiful. 661 00:47:12,722 --> 00:47:15,623 - You recorded that yet? - Fat fucking chance. 662 00:47:15,724 --> 00:47:16,690 Well you should. 663 00:47:17,826 --> 00:47:19,941 I feel like it's like I'm seeing you for the first time. 664 00:47:20,041 --> 00:47:23,225 Well, you've seen my ass. And you not liking it. 665 00:47:23,732 --> 00:47:25,210 - Why do you do that? - Do what? 666 00:47:25,310 --> 00:47:26,745 Talk as if you have no soul. 667 00:47:26,845 --> 00:47:32,021 Nobody cares for my beautiful soul. They care for my ass. 668 00:47:32,121 --> 00:47:34,540 - You sound like a tramp. - Bitches rule. 669 00:47:35,309 --> 00:47:37,038 Yonica rules. 670 00:47:38,012 --> 00:47:41,277 Virgins are good for getting fucked. Right? 671 00:47:41,815 --> 00:47:44,965 That is what I am good for. Right? 672 00:47:45,065 --> 00:47:46,781 That's what everybody knows. 673 00:47:51,125 --> 00:47:51,989 You know what I think? 674 00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:57,052 I think the girl that wrote that song was a poet. 675 00:47:58,164 --> 00:47:59,563 I thought that song was really great. 676 00:48:13,613 --> 00:48:15,478 I am not from this world. 677 00:48:17,583 --> 00:48:19,448 I have special powers. 678 00:48:21,054 --> 00:48:23,955 I can see inside people's brains. 679 00:48:26,694 --> 00:48:27,786 What do you see? 680 00:48:33,566 --> 00:48:35,625 You think you care about me. 681 00:48:38,170 --> 00:48:40,161 Neither one of us know why. 682 00:48:42,007 --> 00:48:44,499 You're not an alien life form. 683 00:48:46,244 --> 00:48:49,077 You're just very confused. 684 00:48:50,916 --> 00:48:52,645 And you live in a terrible world. 685 00:49:09,701 --> 00:49:15,867 I cannot be from this place. I do not belong here. 686 00:49:18,010 --> 00:49:19,601 We have to find a way. 687 00:49:22,813 --> 00:49:24,576 We just have to find a way. 688 00:49:26,818 --> 00:49:28,216 Who are you? 689 00:49:31,288 --> 00:49:32,346 We got stuff here. 690 00:49:32,456 --> 00:49:34,774 We got a side of Clausen Classic Dill, 691 00:49:34,874 --> 00:49:36,883 and Turaqi brand soda. 692 00:49:38,796 --> 00:49:41,856 Extra crispy, all white meat. You want a piece? 693 00:49:42,734 --> 00:49:45,099 It's actually a horrible way to soothe bad feelings... 694 00:49:47,003 --> 00:49:48,631 but can lead to compulsive eating... 695 00:49:48,738 --> 00:49:50,569 But, you know, sometimes you just gotta do it, right? 696 00:49:59,683 --> 00:50:01,707 What the fuck? 697 00:50:07,791 --> 00:50:08,654 You know what? 698 00:50:10,060 --> 00:50:14,429 I'm gonna blow you up. you mother fuckin' nice... 699 00:50:14,531 --> 00:50:17,624 suit necktie piece of shit! 700 00:50:20,235 --> 00:50:22,431 Take a rain check on that. 701 00:50:23,873 --> 00:50:25,499 Out of the Emerald City? 702 00:50:26,608 --> 00:50:29,634 In fact, baby, the money is right, I can take you to Chechnya. 703 00:50:30,179 --> 00:50:33,580 I could scrape together a thousand dollars. 704 00:50:36,685 --> 00:50:39,620 Honey, for a thousand dollar we take you to Starbucks. 705 00:50:39,955 --> 00:50:42,355 So, we open on her, she's like Snow White. 706 00:50:42,958 --> 00:50:46,811 Then he arrives. A two-shot, like in, Ford's My Darling Clementine. 707 00:50:46,911 --> 00:50:48,746 When Victor Mature returns to her. 708 00:50:48,845 --> 00:50:50,855 Fuck film, assholes. 709 00:50:54,169 --> 00:50:56,683 I want her on all fours. 710 00:50:56,783 --> 00:51:02,789 Waiting for her phallic warlord, Ooq-Mi-Fay. 711 00:51:02,889 --> 00:51:05,141 I know it's none of my business, what are you guys talking about? 712 00:51:06,314 --> 00:51:08,782 We're shooting the wedding night's video. 713 00:51:09,217 --> 00:51:11,082 Yeah, check it out. We already made the card. 714 00:51:12,220 --> 00:51:13,811 My God. 715 00:51:15,223 --> 00:51:17,771 - How much you guys want for this? - 500 bucks. 716 00:51:17,871 --> 00:51:19,777 I'll give you 50 right now, cash. 717 00:51:19,877 --> 00:51:20,555 Done. 718 00:51:21,661 --> 00:51:25,244 Washington's all a-twitter by allegations from a journalist... 719 00:51:25,345 --> 00:51:28,151 that the son of a top Turaqi political leader... 720 00:51:28,251 --> 00:51:30,817 and his pop star bride are involved... 721 00:51:30,917 --> 00:51:34,830 in a pornographic video of their own wedding night. 722 00:51:35,475 --> 00:51:39,309 Expo Turaqistan. Out of the frying pan into the fire? 723 00:51:41,114 --> 00:51:44,277 How in the fuck did this Hegalhuzen bitch get a hold of this story? 724 00:51:41,098 --> 00:51:44,247 How in the fuck did this Hegalhuzen bitch get a hold of this story? 725 00:51:44,348 --> 00:51:45,583 Well, it hardly matters now. 726 00:51:45,683 --> 00:51:49,286 The network might cancel their coverage and we own them. 727 00:51:49,386 --> 00:51:52,173 We got riots going on in 14 cities across Central Asia. 728 00:51:52,276 --> 00:51:55,628 Maybe the best thing to do would be to call the wedding off. 729 00:51:55,728 --> 00:51:58,443 Have you lost your mind? Just handle it. 730 00:51:58,549 --> 00:51:59,345 I always do. 731 00:51:59,984 --> 00:52:02,952 Do you think I have no feelings? 732 00:52:03,453 --> 00:52:04,944 This is what I am to you? 733 00:52:05,356 --> 00:52:08,539 - A whore? And you are my pimp? - No, baby, no, baby. 734 00:52:08,639 --> 00:52:10,741 You were going to sell a tape of our wedding night? 735 00:52:10,841 --> 00:52:12,523 I was gonna give you half of the money. 736 00:52:13,664 --> 00:52:15,187 I did it for the money. 737 00:52:26,043 --> 00:52:28,658 There will be ample time for loving recriminations. 738 00:52:28,758 --> 00:52:31,374 But let's deal with this from a practical perspective. 739 00:52:32,549 --> 00:52:36,919 What if we publically remove one of his testicles? 740 00:52:37,021 --> 00:52:38,749 - Dad, please! - Shut up. 741 00:52:39,656 --> 00:52:41,704 That's not an entirely unappealing suggestion... 742 00:52:41,804 --> 00:52:43,989 but I'm not sure if that really gets us where we wanna go. 743 00:52:44,328 --> 00:52:48,749 Honestly, your Excellency, if we're gonna pull this off so a man of your stature... 744 00:52:48,849 --> 00:52:51,664 you know, a four-time convicted extortionist and an embezzler like... 745 00:52:51,768 --> 00:52:55,364 yourself is to lead Turaqistan to its bright and shining future... 746 00:52:55,472 --> 00:52:58,565 Yonica's bridegroom must be blamelessly pristine. 747 00:53:00,810 --> 00:53:02,660 In other words, we need a fall guy. 748 00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,543 How about your homeboy outside with the perforated septum? 749 00:53:06,249 --> 00:53:07,633 P-per... what? 750 00:53:07,734 --> 00:53:12,712 Go, Marsha. Go, Marsha. You're so fine. I'm gonna make her change her mind! 751 00:53:13,256 --> 00:53:16,642 I have a can of Mace! 752 00:53:16,742 --> 00:53:19,388 And I will use it! Sit down! 753 00:53:26,169 --> 00:53:31,591 I think Bodhi organized this whole thing and you didn't know anything about it. 754 00:53:31,691 --> 00:53:33,140 Yeah, of course, man. I didn't know shit. 755 00:53:35,011 --> 00:53:37,639 But, you know, we wanna be culturally sensitive here. 756 00:53:37,746 --> 00:53:40,806 What is the traditional punishment for pimping a pop star? 757 00:53:42,752 --> 00:53:44,946 - Wow, that's fucking cold, Pop. - Shut up. 758 00:53:45,722 --> 00:53:47,871 Drowning in sheep dung. 759 00:53:47,971 --> 00:53:49,639 Marsha will make the arrangements. 760 00:53:49,739 --> 00:53:53,560 All right. We've dealt with the groom. Now for the bride. 761 00:53:54,530 --> 00:53:58,748 20 minutes on TV and the world will know that this sweet, young girl... 762 00:53:58,848 --> 00:54:04,397 would never participate in such a foul, foul enterprise. Right? 763 00:54:04,806 --> 00:54:06,625 And, Yonica, you didn't know anything about this. 764 00:54:06,725 --> 00:54:10,669 So it has the added benefit of being true, as my father used to say. 765 00:54:11,647 --> 00:54:13,616 All right. We'll announce the execution tonight. 766 00:54:13,716 --> 00:54:14,964 We'll do the interview tomorrow... 767 00:54:15,064 --> 00:54:18,487 and we go ahead with the wedding and close the whole damn show. 768 00:54:18,822 --> 00:54:20,517 I think we got this worked out, don't you? 769 00:54:20,889 --> 00:54:22,768 - Great. - All right. Good to see you. 770 00:54:22,868 --> 00:54:23,950 No, no, no... 771 00:54:24,727 --> 00:54:25,785 Thank you so much, sir. 772 00:54:26,796 --> 00:54:28,456 Yonica... Honey! Honey! 773 00:54:29,131 --> 00:54:30,098 Yonica, Yonica! 774 00:54:36,071 --> 00:54:37,630 Thank you. I like bag. 775 00:54:41,842 --> 00:54:45,744 Marsha. Get me Katie Couric, Al Jazeera and a hundred gallons of sheep shit. 776 00:55:06,234 --> 00:55:07,667 Slaves, but... 777 00:55:10,872 --> 00:55:14,308 Slaves, plebians, patricians, ladies and gentlemen. 778 00:55:14,810 --> 00:55:16,492 Welcome to Pax Romana... 779 00:55:16,592 --> 00:55:19,206 Virginia's number one Roman-era theme park. 780 00:55:22,283 --> 00:55:26,220 The glory that was Rome. The grandeur that was Six Flags. 781 00:55:27,321 --> 00:55:30,039 Unfortunately the financing fell through in the real estate crash... 782 00:55:30,139 --> 00:55:32,753 and the whole place went down the toilet. But it makes my point. 783 00:55:33,294 --> 00:55:34,124 Which is...? 784 00:55:36,998 --> 00:55:39,795 Every empire is summed up in Rome. The Romans, Hauser. 785 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:43,399 Dudes of the human race. Torch-bearers of culture. 786 00:55:43,805 --> 00:55:44,965 You and I are Centurions. 787 00:55:45,306 --> 00:55:48,491 Honor bound to defend civilization against the Barbarians. 788 00:55:48,591 --> 00:55:50,124 Let's cut the shit, Walken. 789 00:55:50,224 --> 00:55:52,008 I like killing people as much as the next guy... 790 00:55:52,113 --> 00:55:56,502 but I signed up to kill the bad ones. Health clinics, trade unionists... 791 00:55:56,602 --> 00:56:00,817 journalists, agricultural co-ops, Catholic liberation theologians... 792 00:56:00,922 --> 00:56:03,139 impoverished Colombian coffee farmers... 793 00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:06,387 These are barbarians, the depraved opponents of civilization? 794 00:56:06,494 --> 00:56:09,576 We turned Central America into a fucking graveyard. 795 00:56:09,676 --> 00:56:12,712 Whoever momentarily interrupts the accumulation of our wealth... 796 00:56:12,812 --> 00:56:14,063 we pulverize. 797 00:56:14,903 --> 00:56:17,132 I'm just not feeling good about that anymore, sir. 798 00:56:20,609 --> 00:56:22,599 Then do what you have to do, son. 799 00:56:24,211 --> 00:56:26,202 Thank you for understanding, sir. 800 00:56:27,382 --> 00:56:29,474 - Oh! You asshole. - Weapon, please? 801 00:56:34,054 --> 00:56:34,952 Let's walk and talk. 802 00:56:36,824 --> 00:56:38,519 You didn't really think I'd let you go, did you? 803 00:56:39,126 --> 00:56:41,424 - I was kinda hoping you might, yeah. - For her? 804 00:56:41,896 --> 00:56:44,511 Please, Walken. We had such a good working relationship. 805 00:56:44,611 --> 00:56:47,579 Let's not end it like this, like savages in a theme park. 806 00:56:47,679 --> 00:56:49,783 You get the thumbs down from the crowd, Hauser. 807 00:56:49,883 --> 00:56:50,782 You're obsolete, dude. 808 00:56:50,882 --> 00:56:53,223 Past your expiration date, discontinued. 809 00:56:53,323 --> 00:56:55,002 Garbagio, as they say in Latin. 810 00:56:55,643 --> 00:56:57,304 Relegated to the trash bin of history. 811 00:57:09,856 --> 00:57:12,507 You shouldn't rummage in the garbage. Fuck. 812 00:57:12,607 --> 00:57:14,824 Is this one of those plastic toys you can choke on? 813 00:57:16,930 --> 00:57:17,829 You mother fucker! 814 00:57:42,255 --> 00:57:45,225 Help! I get it. I get it. Help! Turn it off! 815 00:57:51,031 --> 00:57:53,179 Ten minutes with Katie Couric would get you ten times the audience... 816 00:57:53,279 --> 00:57:55,213 of a whole season of Frontline. Now, that's a fact. 817 00:57:55,313 --> 00:57:56,984 Yeah, but wh-why would they want me to do the interview? 818 00:57:57,084 --> 00:57:58,799 You? Your uncompromising integrity... 819 00:57:58,938 --> 00:58:01,688 your movie star good looks and I don't think Katie Couric... 820 00:58:01,788 --> 00:58:03,675 wants to come to this beautiful fucking vacation spot. 821 00:58:04,344 --> 00:58:06,561 You know I'm not gonna do a P.R. puff piece, right? 822 00:58:06,661 --> 00:58:08,227 Just do the story. Get the real girl. 823 00:58:08,327 --> 00:58:10,997 The real girl? Is there anything real left to get? 824 00:58:11,097 --> 00:58:12,299 Can she actually talk? 825 00:58:12,399 --> 00:58:14,033 She's just a needy little kid, Natalie. 826 00:58:14,133 --> 00:58:17,101 I know, and she's spoiled, she's over-sexed, she's tone deaf. 827 00:58:17,201 --> 00:58:18,439 Well she's a brand, Hauser. 828 00:58:18,539 --> 00:58:20,015 Stuff happens. She needs a mom. 829 00:58:20,793 --> 00:58:23,694 - Yeah. And don't look at me. - I like looking at you. 830 00:58:25,865 --> 00:58:30,117 You can say anything you want, okay? No holds barred delay. I'll make it live. 831 00:58:30,217 --> 00:58:32,683 You're crazy. This bitch hates me. 832 00:58:32,783 --> 00:58:35,157 - She doesn't hate you. - She hates me. 833 00:58:35,257 --> 00:58:37,436 - No she doesn't. - She does. I know. 834 00:58:39,646 --> 00:58:40,528 Yeah, hello. 835 00:58:40,628 --> 00:58:42,964 I have lists of Omar's whereabouts. 836 00:58:43,064 --> 00:58:43,845 I'll get to it. 837 00:58:44,517 --> 00:58:46,109 - Put your seatbelt on. - Fuck off. 838 00:58:47,753 --> 00:58:48,481 Shit. 839 00:59:04,836 --> 00:59:06,360 So we're all set? 840 00:59:07,540 --> 00:59:09,974 This sucks. I hate this. 841 00:59:11,510 --> 00:59:13,570 - What sucks, sweetheart? - This location. 842 00:59:14,347 --> 00:59:15,678 What's wrong with it? 843 00:59:16,115 --> 00:59:19,049 I am not liking it. It blows. 844 00:59:20,553 --> 00:59:24,534 This is 2000 years of Turaqi culture. It's a nice spot for it, actually. 845 00:59:24,634 --> 00:59:25,715 Okay, sweetie? 846 00:59:27,927 --> 00:59:29,587 I want to do it... 847 00:59:31,863 --> 00:59:32,592 there. 848 00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:39,497 - We're all set up right here. - There or nowhere. 849 00:59:41,740 --> 00:59:42,434 Okay? 850 00:59:45,010 --> 00:59:46,342 There's nice too. 851 00:59:48,213 --> 00:59:48,702 Hello. 852 00:59:50,749 --> 00:59:51,613 Hello. 853 01:00:03,829 --> 01:00:05,057 What is this place? 854 01:00:06,198 --> 01:00:06,857 Beautiful. 855 01:00:08,266 --> 01:00:09,995 You see? She's just a needy little kid. 856 01:00:12,838 --> 01:00:15,068 This light is so cool. 857 01:00:17,643 --> 01:00:18,632 Look at this! 858 01:00:19,845 --> 01:00:20,607 Be careful. 859 01:00:28,853 --> 01:00:32,551 I want to do it here. Come, inspect this from me. 860 01:00:33,559 --> 01:00:34,253 Beautiful. 861 01:00:34,859 --> 01:00:38,227 This place is so sad. I love that. 862 01:00:39,197 --> 01:00:40,664 I'm going to see the rest. 863 01:00:47,004 --> 01:00:48,733 Hey, cowboy. You happen to have a Cliff bar? 864 01:00:48,839 --> 01:00:49,829 - You hungry? - I could eat. 865 01:00:49,941 --> 01:00:51,033 Let's find the kitchen. 866 01:00:52,577 --> 01:00:55,204 Look at this. An 82 margaux. They must have left in a hurry. 867 01:00:56,281 --> 01:00:57,732 We can be shot for looting. 868 01:00:57,832 --> 01:00:59,840 We can be shot for anything in Turaqistan. 869 01:01:01,318 --> 01:01:03,583 Let's see. There must be an opener here somewhere. 870 01:01:04,456 --> 01:01:07,071 I just don't know if I'm domestic enough to make a meal out of... 871 01:01:07,171 --> 01:01:10,094 olives and caviar and peanut butter. 872 01:01:11,095 --> 01:01:13,610 Yonica! There's food! 873 01:01:13,710 --> 01:01:15,097 Very high-tech for Turaqistan. 874 01:01:16,735 --> 01:01:18,531 Crazy little brat. 875 01:01:18,836 --> 01:01:20,929 If she's a virgin... 876 01:01:21,305 --> 01:01:22,534 I'm Dick Cheney. 877 01:01:34,853 --> 01:01:36,251 Yonica, would you like some wine? 878 01:01:37,788 --> 01:01:41,053 No. I hate wine. It's so sour. 879 01:01:44,028 --> 01:01:45,086 Milk is good. 880 01:01:52,336 --> 01:01:55,635 - I want a picture of you two. - No pictures. 881 01:01:57,341 --> 01:01:58,308 Okay, one. 882 01:01:58,976 --> 01:01:59,805 Get in. 883 01:02:11,788 --> 01:02:13,154 So you two getting married? 884 01:02:18,461 --> 01:02:21,625 Because you are already married with wife in America? 885 01:02:22,032 --> 01:02:24,192 Everybody wants American wife. 886 01:02:24,700 --> 01:02:25,394 No. 887 01:02:26,170 --> 01:02:26,966 Never were married? 888 01:02:30,206 --> 01:02:31,264 Was once actually. 889 01:02:33,844 --> 01:02:34,708 What happened? 890 01:02:38,616 --> 01:02:40,641 It's not that interesting. 891 01:02:59,769 --> 01:03:00,793 What happened? 892 01:03:06,843 --> 01:03:08,674 Haven't spoken of it in a long time. 893 01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:17,978 She was killed. 894 01:03:19,088 --> 01:03:19,918 Murdered. 895 01:03:22,559 --> 01:03:25,494 I came home one night and my beautiful wife had been slaughtered. 896 01:03:27,831 --> 01:03:32,996 I had a little girl and she was taken. 897 01:03:34,671 --> 01:03:36,969 No ransom note, nothing. Just gone. 898 01:03:39,409 --> 01:03:41,274 - Why? - I don't know. 899 01:03:42,679 --> 01:03:43,771 Who would do that? 900 01:03:44,414 --> 01:03:49,078 I don't know anything except it was all because of me. 901 01:03:52,155 --> 01:03:53,087 What do you mean? 902 01:03:54,189 --> 01:03:57,990 I had many enemies. I've done many things. 903 01:04:01,563 --> 01:04:04,931 What was her name? Your daughter? 904 01:04:08,103 --> 01:04:08,695 Cara. 905 01:04:12,542 --> 01:04:13,702 There's a reason I do this work. 906 01:04:17,913 --> 01:04:19,039 I don't have to feel anything. 907 01:04:21,585 --> 01:04:23,519 That's so fucked up. 908 01:04:27,523 --> 01:04:28,285 Hey. Whassup? 909 01:04:33,295 --> 01:04:33,955 Get out! 910 01:04:36,698 --> 01:04:40,795 Sometimes I think is better not to feel. Just skip it. 911 01:04:41,970 --> 01:04:43,767 How long can you live that way? 912 01:04:44,339 --> 01:04:47,275 The poison's just old. It's like a slow motion suicide. 913 01:04:47,678 --> 01:04:50,528 Or wake up every day and wonder if you have the courage to walk away... 914 01:04:50,628 --> 01:04:54,742 to say: no, I won't do that. I'm not that person. I'm not that thing. 915 01:05:00,722 --> 01:05:03,088 You think I should not marry Ooq-Mi-Fay? 916 01:05:05,661 --> 01:05:07,253 Hey, boss we have a problem. 917 01:05:09,965 --> 01:05:11,057 Hold that thought. 918 01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:16,769 What's the problem, guys? 919 01:05:23,745 --> 01:05:24,870 Try some caviar. 920 01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:26,572 It's so good! 921 01:05:28,951 --> 01:05:29,781 I love. 922 01:05:30,284 --> 01:05:32,776 My mom would always try to get me to eat weird stuff. 923 01:05:32,921 --> 01:05:35,171 Tempeh and wheatgrass... 924 01:05:35,271 --> 01:05:37,588 and all I ever wanted was peanut butter. 925 01:05:40,529 --> 01:05:41,894 He's a complicated guy, huh? 926 01:05:45,767 --> 01:05:46,961 Not what'd you think. 927 01:05:54,275 --> 01:05:56,539 Hey, not so tough today, huh? 928 01:06:00,848 --> 01:06:03,578 Hey, look, the little girl has crowns. 929 01:06:04,286 --> 01:06:06,981 You think you can drown me with the sheep shit. 930 01:06:07,788 --> 01:06:09,016 I don't think so. 931 01:06:09,690 --> 01:06:11,283 You want we should take video now? 932 01:06:11,860 --> 01:06:13,019 Or kill him first? 933 01:06:13,793 --> 01:06:18,231 Be less blood if you kill me first, more fun if you cut it off while I'm alive. 934 01:06:18,698 --> 01:06:19,745 - Shut up. - Okay. 935 01:06:19,845 --> 01:06:23,418 I think I could take those two ears and I can put them on my Harley. 936 01:06:23,518 --> 01:06:25,995 Maybe I can pick up KROQ on my radio. 937 01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:28,835 Oh, pretty face. Bye. 938 01:06:32,913 --> 01:06:36,713 You ought to do some face. Taste. 939 01:06:54,934 --> 01:06:55,629 Stay! 940 01:07:56,563 --> 01:08:00,125 Cut off the fingers I used to wipe my ass. 941 01:08:20,954 --> 01:08:22,888 I cannot believe you just did that! 942 01:09:06,633 --> 01:09:10,569 What person could squeeze eyeballs from Bodhi Bhundhang? 943 01:09:13,238 --> 01:09:16,231 And that asshole tells me not to marry Ooq-Mi-Fay? 944 01:09:16,342 --> 01:09:18,524 I'm fucking marry Ooq-Mi-Fay. 945 01:09:18,624 --> 01:09:22,068 He's pig. And I'm whore. 946 01:09:22,982 --> 01:09:25,506 - You want me to take the freeway? - Yeah. Whatever. 947 01:09:26,018 --> 01:09:29,716 It is who I am. I am that person. 948 01:09:30,423 --> 01:09:33,391 And if I'm going to be whore, at least I can be rich. 949 01:09:33,792 --> 01:09:37,740 I just want to make soulful music and be sad and rich. 950 01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:40,161 You don't have to marry some asshole to do that. 951 01:09:40,966 --> 01:09:44,197 Natalie, you will be my bridesmaid? 952 01:09:46,371 --> 01:09:47,030 Please? 953 01:09:48,775 --> 01:09:53,336 My father, he's coming. I haven't seen him since I was baby. 954 01:09:55,048 --> 01:09:56,605 It will be nice to meet him. 955 01:10:00,752 --> 01:10:03,585 And if you are there I will not be so afraid. 956 01:10:12,364 --> 01:10:13,762 What am I gonna wear? 957 01:10:14,733 --> 01:10:17,551 - What about Katie Courich? - Fuck her. 958 01:10:17,651 --> 01:10:18,567 Fuck them all. 959 01:10:27,546 --> 01:10:28,911 Miami Beach Hotel. 960 01:10:31,849 --> 01:10:34,736 Jeff? I just sent you a photo of that Tamerlane guy. 961 01:10:34,836 --> 01:10:38,638 He just slaughtered half a dozen of Ooq- Mi-Fay Taqnufmini's posse... 962 01:10:38,738 --> 01:10:40,487 Find out who the fuck this guy is. 963 01:10:45,795 --> 01:10:48,287 Hey. I just got this message from the Viceroy. 964 01:10:50,702 --> 01:10:54,935 "We didn't front you $1.3 million to whack a bunch of Fifty Cent wannabes. 965 01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:59,124 You know what I'm saying? You got 18 hours to kill Omar Sharif. 966 01:10:59,224 --> 01:11:01,292 And may I just add personally. 967 01:11:01,392 --> 01:11:03,745 What the fuck are you doing? 968 01:11:04,148 --> 01:11:08,915 Will you kill the mother fucker so we can get the hell out of this shithole? 969 01:11:09,287 --> 01:11:10,754 What are you doing? 970 01:11:10,888 --> 01:11:13,289 Hello? Is there anyone in th-? 971 01:11:19,531 --> 01:11:20,447 Hey, it's Natalie. 972 01:11:20,547 --> 01:11:23,398 I'm either unmasking corporate greed or washing my hair. 973 01:11:23,501 --> 01:11:24,400 So leave a message. 974 01:11:38,749 --> 01:11:40,478 That's good. Thanks. Great. 975 01:11:42,520 --> 01:11:43,214 Is that good? 976 01:11:44,221 --> 01:11:46,416 That looks great. Everything you're doing is great. It's really great. 977 01:11:46,524 --> 01:11:49,652 My communications degree is finally paying off. 978 01:11:50,461 --> 01:11:51,655 Where is Omar? 979 01:11:51,762 --> 01:11:55,081 Well, let me check. Omar? 980 01:11:55,181 --> 01:11:57,930 - Camera Four, Marsha. Camera Four. - Omar's Camera Four. 981 01:11:58,035 --> 01:11:59,195 Why don't you pull in? 982 01:11:59,770 --> 01:12:01,019 Do you have his Blackberry address? 983 01:12:01,119 --> 01:12:02,128 Laptop. 984 01:12:05,042 --> 01:12:07,624 By the way, Anderson Cooper cannot make the wedding. 985 01:12:07,724 --> 01:12:11,204 - What room was he going to stay in? - Eleven-oh-one. 986 01:12:15,552 --> 01:12:18,021 Just you, Cowboy. 987 01:12:24,895 --> 01:12:28,956 Oh, jeez. Gosh. By the way. This came for you. 988 01:12:29,734 --> 01:12:30,359 I think... 989 01:12:31,770 --> 01:12:34,033 ...It must have been this morning and... 990 01:12:40,677 --> 01:12:41,994 This is Natalie Hegalhuzen. 991 01:12:42,094 --> 01:12:45,809 I am being held by the Provisional Liberation Army of Greater Turaqistan. 992 01:12:46,516 --> 01:12:50,146 I will be executed unless the following demands are met by 6 pm. 993 01:12:53,156 --> 01:12:57,991 The complete unconditional withdrawal of all Tamerlane forces from Turaqistan. 994 01:12:59,996 --> 01:13:02,988 The dissolution of the criminal's INS state of Israel. 995 01:13:04,033 --> 01:13:08,253 Three. The acquisition by the Turaqi National Basketball team... 996 01:13:08,352 --> 01:13:12,138 of LeBron James for a player to be named later. 997 01:13:13,811 --> 01:13:16,404 I'm unhurt and well-treated... 998 01:13:16,946 --> 01:13:18,914 And am right where I wanted to be. 999 01:13:19,984 --> 01:13:21,766 You're improvising, bitch. I hate that! 1000 01:13:21,866 --> 01:13:22,864 I know where she is. 1001 01:13:22,964 --> 01:13:25,703 No. Wait a second! We're live in 6 hours. 1002 01:13:25,803 --> 01:13:27,139 I trust you. You handle everything. 1003 01:13:27,239 --> 01:13:30,624 Oh, Jesus Mary and Joseph. 1004 01:13:34,564 --> 01:13:35,792 How are you, sir? Nice to see you, sir. 1005 01:13:35,999 --> 01:13:36,590 You can go. 1006 01:13:45,508 --> 01:13:46,757 Jerry, how do I get to Fallaf? 1007 01:13:46,857 --> 01:13:48,525 Fallaf. Are you out of your mind? 1008 01:13:48,625 --> 01:13:51,670 Here at GuideStar we definitely call Fallaf a no-go zone. 1009 01:13:52,949 --> 01:13:54,280 That's snuff city, dude. 1010 01:13:54,384 --> 01:13:56,565 Hey, don't get cute. Just give me the damn directions. 1011 01:13:56,665 --> 01:13:58,869 You sound a little angry, rather emotional. It's a good thing. 1012 01:13:58,969 --> 01:14:00,320 Good. Let it go. 1013 01:14:00,790 --> 01:14:03,280 Is that the best you can do for seventy-nine ninety-five a month? 1014 01:14:05,328 --> 01:14:07,626 Steven Seagal is like 500 pounds now. 1015 01:14:08,531 --> 01:14:11,295 They use body doubles for everything, but this. 1016 01:14:14,037 --> 01:14:15,583 How many times do I have to tell you? 1017 01:14:15,683 --> 01:14:17,888 I am opposed to the occupation. 1018 01:14:17,988 --> 01:14:23,001 I have railed against it in every significant journal in the world! 1019 01:14:26,648 --> 01:14:31,779 I think you are mistaking me with someone who actually gives a fuck. 1020 01:14:33,755 --> 01:14:35,471 Hey, you're just a gift for us, babe. 1021 01:14:35,571 --> 01:14:37,038 What do I do when I get to Nafluni? 1022 01:14:37,138 --> 01:14:40,478 There's a Mobil station on your right. See it? 1023 01:14:40,578 --> 01:14:41,778 Yeah. I think so. 1024 01:14:41,878 --> 01:14:44,925 Great. Take the next right. Follow the road. 1025 01:14:45,801 --> 01:14:47,792 If you're a praying man, I'd start about now. 1026 01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:52,332 Can we kill her already? I'm getting hungry. 1027 01:14:52,441 --> 01:14:55,205 We're still working out the international distribution rights. 1028 01:14:58,514 --> 01:15:00,505 I want to... 1029 01:15:02,317 --> 01:15:04,251 put the camera lower this time. 1030 01:15:04,821 --> 01:15:06,982 Oh, you mean like the construction guard decapitation, huh? 1031 01:15:07,756 --> 01:15:09,707 But you want it from here to there or from there to here? 1032 01:15:09,807 --> 01:15:11,655 - All the way. - All the way's gonna be messy. 1033 01:15:11,760 --> 01:15:12,818 Yeah, but it's art. 1034 01:15:49,565 --> 01:15:51,794 - Do you have any candy? - No. Get lost. 1035 01:15:52,667 --> 01:15:55,068 I told you these assholes never have shit. 1036 01:15:56,238 --> 01:15:57,636 Looking for the kidnapped bitch? 1037 01:16:00,409 --> 01:16:01,186 American? 1038 01:16:01,286 --> 01:16:03,870 We have three. Two yellow hair and one dark hair. 1039 01:16:03,978 --> 01:16:04,967 Dark hair. 1040 01:16:09,684 --> 01:16:10,309 Where? 1041 01:16:13,789 --> 01:16:14,756 Show me. 1042 01:16:27,501 --> 01:16:35,465 10? No. How about 20? Okay. It's a deal. 1043 01:16:36,577 --> 01:16:38,340 Shut up! Let's do it. 1044 01:16:47,321 --> 01:16:49,186 Don't shoot, man! 1045 01:16:50,891 --> 01:16:52,620 Hey, we're sorry. Chill. 1046 01:16:52,727 --> 01:16:54,577 I'm sorry, just take the girl. We don't want the girl. 1047 01:16:54,677 --> 01:16:56,946 We just, we do movies, man. We love to make movies. 1048 01:16:57,046 --> 01:16:58,225 Yeah, yeah, movies. 1049 01:16:59,100 --> 01:17:00,624 Don't get up, guys. We gotta run. 1050 01:17:05,272 --> 01:17:07,536 Fuck, dude. That was intense. 1051 01:17:10,043 --> 01:17:12,239 Okay. We're okay. 1052 01:17:18,119 --> 01:17:21,111 Next time bring some candy asshole. 1053 01:17:22,756 --> 01:17:26,706 Mr. Hauser? I told you Fallaf was not a good idea, didn't I? 1054 01:17:26,806 --> 01:17:29,876 It's a no-go zone. And you went. 1055 01:17:29,977 --> 01:17:31,431 That was not a good idea. 1056 01:17:42,542 --> 01:17:43,100 Get down! 1057 01:17:46,745 --> 01:17:47,302 Go. 1058 01:17:53,353 --> 01:17:55,788 Could you please try to call Natalie again? 1059 01:18:01,928 --> 01:18:03,577 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1060 01:18:03,677 --> 01:18:05,677 What, my English not so good? 1061 01:18:05,777 --> 01:18:07,255 Come on. I love you. 1062 01:18:09,670 --> 01:18:12,103 Come on here. Come on here. 1063 01:18:23,216 --> 01:18:25,741 Get down, get down! 1064 01:18:31,324 --> 01:18:32,291 Get up. 1065 01:18:52,644 --> 01:18:53,860 Hey, you in charge? 1066 01:18:53,960 --> 01:18:57,063 - Who the fuck's in charge? - No one! I'm no one! 1067 01:18:57,163 --> 01:18:59,583 - What are you lookin' at, bitch? - I'm no one! 1068 01:20:20,098 --> 01:20:23,158 A couple of quick announcements. 1069 01:20:23,735 --> 01:20:27,466 The panel discussion, the Redemptive Power of the Hedge Fund Derivative... 1070 01:20:27,940 --> 01:20:30,272 has been moved to the mini ballroom. 1071 01:20:30,776 --> 01:20:34,268 Don't forget to go to the Meet and Greet cocktail reception... 1072 01:20:34,812 --> 01:20:39,648 at the Tiki Room at five and pick up your gift bags. 1073 01:20:40,052 --> 01:20:44,338 They've got a coffee mug and a desert umbrella... 1074 01:20:44,438 --> 01:20:46,754 foam beer Koozie and a... 1075 01:20:47,757 --> 01:20:50,273 autographed copy from you know who... 1076 01:20:50,373 --> 01:20:54,229 of "How I Conquered the World and Worked Out Issues With My Dad". 1077 01:21:47,118 --> 01:21:48,142 Take care of the kid. 1078 01:21:49,921 --> 01:21:51,286 'Cause I might have to go too. 1079 01:21:55,626 --> 01:21:56,718 You don't have to. 1080 01:21:58,995 --> 01:21:59,826 Yes, I do. 1081 01:23:33,656 --> 01:23:34,486 Natalie. 1082 01:23:34,991 --> 01:23:38,552 I saw your face and creation held its breath. 1083 01:23:39,229 --> 01:23:40,491 I'm coming. 1084 01:23:44,934 --> 01:23:46,902 No, no, no... 1085 01:23:54,176 --> 01:23:56,961 Silly me. I was expecting a beautiful woman. 1086 01:23:57,061 --> 01:23:57,809 Sorry. 1087 01:23:58,281 --> 01:23:59,009 Hauser... 1088 01:23:59,681 --> 01:24:02,116 Love does get one into difficult situations. 1089 01:24:03,053 --> 01:24:04,281 Somebody's gonna kill you. 1090 01:24:06,788 --> 01:24:07,813 It was supposed to be me. 1091 01:24:09,325 --> 01:24:10,553 Triple your security. 1092 01:24:11,860 --> 01:24:13,020 Stay off the streets. 1093 01:24:13,629 --> 01:24:16,064 With a little skill you may actually stay alive. 1094 01:24:28,812 --> 01:24:31,109 - How may I thank you? - No need. 1095 01:24:39,221 --> 01:24:41,689 We're in a constant state of war, Hauser. 1096 01:24:42,691 --> 01:24:44,739 We kill our brothers, complete strangers... 1097 01:24:44,839 --> 01:24:45,987 the guilty and the innocent. 1098 01:24:47,664 --> 01:24:49,689 We are at war with our own hearts. 1099 01:24:50,165 --> 01:24:52,964 Love is a cease-fire that's destined to fail. 1100 01:24:53,735 --> 01:24:55,896 But, as I said... 1101 01:24:56,772 --> 01:24:59,241 it does get us into tricky situations. 1102 01:25:01,643 --> 01:25:04,077 Sometimes the back of a garbage truck. 1103 01:25:09,084 --> 01:25:11,917 The ultimate Chickenhawk is roosting close-by. 1104 01:25:19,795 --> 01:25:20,659 Good luck. 1105 01:25:33,976 --> 01:25:35,603 She says she's a bridesmaid. 1106 01:25:37,812 --> 01:25:40,940 - You got an extra dress? - Yes. 1107 01:25:42,583 --> 01:25:43,846 For all of us at Tamerlane... 1108 01:25:44,486 --> 01:25:47,203 I extend a heartfelt good luck and God bless... 1109 01:25:47,303 --> 01:25:48,721 whoever that god may be. 1110 01:25:49,223 --> 01:25:51,590 To our happy young couple. Shalom. 1111 01:25:53,362 --> 01:25:53,885 Shit. 1112 01:26:18,085 --> 01:26:20,144 We have someone to do your hair and makeup. 1113 01:26:21,122 --> 01:26:22,522 I could do this. 1114 01:26:23,225 --> 01:26:24,691 Sit down! 1115 01:26:27,195 --> 01:26:28,184 Clean yourself! 1116 01:26:32,266 --> 01:26:35,759 We gotta go to the viceroy. Where the hell is Hauser? 1117 01:26:37,271 --> 01:26:38,033 Asshole. 1118 01:26:40,708 --> 01:26:41,265 All right. 1119 01:26:45,279 --> 01:26:49,215 I am going to tell that bastard that I want to go shopping in America. 1120 01:26:49,749 --> 01:26:52,775 And I never come back. Can I stay with you? 1121 01:26:53,421 --> 01:26:55,616 Yes. Yes. Yes. 1122 01:27:10,404 --> 01:27:11,371 It's time. 1123 01:27:35,263 --> 01:27:38,580 Where are you? I wanna see you. 1124 01:27:38,680 --> 01:27:41,214 Hauser. I'm about to address the weddin'. 1125 01:27:41,314 --> 01:27:43,201 You're just gonna have to wait 'til I'm done. 1126 01:27:43,703 --> 01:27:44,931 I've waited long enough. 1127 01:28:01,588 --> 01:28:02,680 Hauser. 1128 01:28:03,923 --> 01:28:07,689 Hello, Walken. You look fabulous. 1129 01:28:08,361 --> 01:28:09,760 How did you know? 1130 01:28:10,363 --> 01:28:12,209 Where else would you be? 1131 01:28:12,309 --> 01:28:14,414 And going to the Viceroy in five... 1132 01:28:14,514 --> 01:28:17,026 four, three, two... 1133 01:28:17,838 --> 01:28:20,188 Wonderful opportunities here, Hauser. 1134 01:28:20,288 --> 01:28:24,574 As long as these towel-heads don't look up freedom in the dictionary. 1135 01:28:24,679 --> 01:28:29,532 To use one of your own homespun colloquialisms let's cut the shit, shall we? 1136 01:28:29,632 --> 01:28:30,831 That is your viceroy? 1137 01:28:30,931 --> 01:28:33,579 You know what your problem is, Hauser? You're a moralist. 1138 01:28:33,687 --> 01:28:36,539 That's why you're so much fun to fuck with. 1139 01:28:36,639 --> 01:28:41,173 War is the improvement of investments by other means. 1140 01:28:41,273 --> 01:28:45,595 For dummies. The USA is a subdivision of Tamerlane. 1141 01:28:45,699 --> 01:28:49,145 Democracy, the war on terror, the war on drugs... 1142 01:28:49,245 --> 01:28:52,363 these are all focus group slogans for Tamerlane. 1143 01:28:52,472 --> 01:28:57,603 You murdered my wife. And I'm here to kill you for that. 1144 01:28:57,710 --> 01:29:01,770 You were such a superb killing machine, Hauser. 1145 01:29:01,880 --> 01:29:02,848 What happened to you? 1146 01:29:03,651 --> 01:29:05,585 You've had a whole week to kill Omar. 1147 01:29:06,086 --> 01:29:10,203 Of course I could have liquidated you after you thought you'd killed me. 1148 01:29:10,303 --> 01:29:13,838 Right after I tried to kiss you and you threw me in the garbage truck. 1149 01:29:13,938 --> 01:29:18,728 It's gonna be hard to torture someone who's mostly dead. 1150 01:29:19,932 --> 01:29:21,695 But I'm gonna try... 1151 01:29:23,670 --> 01:29:24,784 to enjoy it. 1152 01:29:24,884 --> 01:29:29,274 But, by killing the woman and kidnapping the girl... 1153 01:29:29,376 --> 01:29:30,206 Oh, my God. 1154 01:29:30,310 --> 01:29:32,025 ...that was so much more satisfying. 1155 01:29:32,125 --> 01:29:34,740 I left you in a state of constant agony. 1156 01:29:34,848 --> 01:29:39,250 You ever wonder what the ideology of vibrio cholerae bacterium... 1157 01:29:39,351 --> 01:29:44,835 or the system of Yersinia pestis the bacteria that causes bubonic plague. 1158 01:29:44,935 --> 01:29:46,151 I'll tell you, Hauser. 1159 01:29:46,892 --> 01:29:48,451 Perpetuation. 1160 01:29:48,995 --> 01:29:51,053 An infinite succession of generations. 1161 01:29:51,163 --> 01:29:53,358 Immortality on the installment plan. 1162 01:29:53,465 --> 01:29:55,648 I wish I had that sort of esprit d'corps. 1163 01:29:55,748 --> 01:29:57,669 That bacterial team spirit. 1164 01:29:58,504 --> 01:30:02,770 Talk about legacy. Talk about empire. 1165 01:30:03,809 --> 01:30:07,370 You're gonna tell me what you did with her... 1166 01:30:09,548 --> 01:30:11,015 then I'm gonna kill you again. 1167 01:30:11,650 --> 01:30:13,845 - Do you understand, old man? - Don't you get it? 1168 01:30:14,686 --> 01:30:16,051 Your daughter happens... 1169 01:30:20,626 --> 01:30:22,059 Shut it down! 1170 01:30:23,562 --> 01:30:25,189 Your daughter, Hauser. 1171 01:30:29,902 --> 01:30:37,274 Your daughter is about to be married. And, Daddy you're the father of the bride. 1172 01:30:41,313 --> 01:30:44,110 God, that's a conversation stopper. 1173 01:30:45,284 --> 01:30:47,775 Well, you just sit back and enjoy the show. 1174 01:30:48,587 --> 01:30:51,146 You must be a real proud daddy. 1175 01:30:54,026 --> 01:30:55,084 Here she comes. 1176 01:30:59,364 --> 01:31:01,729 Ain't you the proudest daddy? Look at that. 1177 01:31:02,099 --> 01:31:03,191 She turned out good. 1178 01:31:03,601 --> 01:31:07,833 She looks good in that white dress and those little white boots. 1179 01:31:12,077 --> 01:31:14,772 A white dress and white boots. 1180 01:31:20,218 --> 01:31:21,048 Oh, look at that. 1181 01:31:21,619 --> 01:31:23,971 Don't you think the little whore turned out well? 1182 01:31:24,071 --> 01:31:27,571 I promised her Daddy would be here. And here you are. 1183 01:31:27,671 --> 01:31:28,455 Shoot him! 1184 01:31:29,293 --> 01:31:31,125 The father of the bride! 1185 01:31:59,690 --> 01:32:01,748 Hauser! Where are you, Hauser? 1186 01:32:02,627 --> 01:32:05,608 Come on, fight me like a dude. Face me Hauser. 1187 01:32:05,708 --> 01:32:06,642 Come on! 1188 01:32:06,742 --> 01:32:09,427 I can control all of this with my eyes. 1189 01:32:48,839 --> 01:32:49,533 Yonica! 1190 01:32:51,841 --> 01:32:53,103 - Yonica. - Shut the fuck up! 1191 01:32:54,512 --> 01:32:56,240 - Yonica. Yonica. - Shut the fuck up! Shut up. 1192 01:32:59,015 --> 01:32:59,948 Get done, come on. 1193 01:33:00,751 --> 01:33:04,800 Dearly beloved, friends, believers and infidels. 1194 01:33:04,900 --> 01:33:06,447 We are gathered here today... 1195 01:33:07,124 --> 01:33:11,043 to join together in holy matrimony this man and this... 1196 01:33:11,143 --> 01:33:14,358 Yonica! Yonica! 1197 01:33:14,464 --> 01:33:15,123 Hauser! 1198 01:33:22,072 --> 01:33:25,565 You can't do this. I won't let you. 1199 01:33:27,777 --> 01:33:28,903 I'm your father. 1200 01:33:32,349 --> 01:33:32,906 Catch him. 1201 01:33:37,720 --> 01:33:38,516 It's me. 1202 01:33:40,724 --> 01:33:42,954 I've loved you since the minute you were born. 1203 01:33:43,560 --> 01:33:44,753 I will kill you! 1204 01:33:54,170 --> 01:33:55,296 It's gonna be okay. 1205 01:34:11,521 --> 01:34:13,489 We're gonna be a family again. 1206 01:34:31,641 --> 01:34:34,973 Come on! 1207 01:34:45,821 --> 01:34:47,537 Yonica, Yonica. 1208 01:34:47,637 --> 01:34:48,783 Let go of that! Don't do that. 1209 01:34:50,326 --> 01:34:51,792 What's going on? 1210 01:34:55,765 --> 01:34:56,459 Go, go, go, go, go! 1211 01:34:56,833 --> 01:34:57,697 Go, go, go! 1212 01:35:04,673 --> 01:35:08,201 Get me back to the bunker. Headset. 1213 01:35:09,278 --> 01:35:10,711 Get me a tomahawk. 1214 01:35:11,813 --> 01:35:13,698 Blow this whole fuckin' place to shit. 1215 01:35:13,798 --> 01:35:14,559 Yes, sir. 1216 01:35:14,659 --> 01:35:17,813 Terrorists at the weddin'. We've got 'em cornered. 1217 01:35:18,520 --> 01:35:20,511 So close to the bunker could be dangerous, sir. 1218 01:35:21,423 --> 01:35:23,516 Haven't you heard of a surgical strike? 1219 01:35:25,494 --> 01:35:27,188 - Launch it. - Firing two-one. 1220 01:35:41,310 --> 01:35:43,676 Viceroy coming through. Viceroy coming through. 1221 01:35:45,613 --> 01:35:47,673 You should have let me finish the job! 1222 01:36:02,798 --> 01:36:05,716 Tamerlane weapons are precision-guided... 1223 01:36:05,816 --> 01:36:07,701 to minimize collateral damage. 1224 01:36:08,637 --> 01:36:12,368 Not only is our technology the most advanced in the world... 1225 01:36:12,508 --> 01:36:15,556 but also with a smart missile system... 1226 01:36:15,656 --> 01:36:18,524 we can launch a matchstick in Milwaukee... 1227 01:36:18,624 --> 01:36:22,345 and stick it up the ass of termite in Tehran. 1228 01:36:38,801 --> 01:36:39,994 Shit happens. 1229 01:36:49,777 --> 01:36:50,836 This blows. 1230 01:36:52,513 --> 01:36:55,607 "Killer, Whores and Jackals. Behind Brand USA". 1231 01:36:55,716 --> 01:36:56,599 Good title, huh? 1232 01:36:56,699 --> 01:36:57,533 It's a little wordy. 1233 01:36:57,633 --> 01:36:58,710 Vehicle from the front! 1234 01:37:01,255 --> 01:37:02,745 All right, that's it! Hold it! 1235 01:37:06,594 --> 01:37:10,189 We are going to honeymoon. 1236 01:37:12,166 --> 01:37:14,566 Dude, it's the newlyweds! 1237 01:37:14,670 --> 01:37:15,484 Hey! Stand down! 1238 01:37:15,584 --> 01:37:20,132 Yonica, congratulations. Your chariot's right this way. 1239 01:37:20,675 --> 01:37:21,572 Thank you. 1240 01:37:22,242 --> 01:37:25,007 - I have your poster on my wall. - No, he's lyin'. It's my wall. 1241 01:37:25,546 --> 01:37:27,672 I used to... no. Bye. 1242 01:37:42,263 --> 01:37:43,491 Run, run, run. 1243 01:37:44,031 --> 01:37:44,998 Run, run, run. 1244 01:37:48,769 --> 01:37:50,600 I cannot fucking believe this. 1245 01:37:52,806 --> 01:37:56,727 Yonica, I know I saved you but I don't want you putting me up on a pedestal. 1246 01:37:56,827 --> 01:37:58,525 I'm just a person, just a man. 1247 01:37:58,625 --> 01:38:00,045 Are you crazy? Where have you been? 1248 01:38:01,014 --> 01:38:03,744 - You are a fucking asshole, you know? - Oh, I feel much better. 1249 01:38:04,651 --> 01:38:05,845 Go. Turn this thing on! 1250 01:38:11,391 --> 01:38:14,373 So you don't want her to be an assassin like you. 1251 01:38:14,473 --> 01:38:16,941 Well, don't worry because I want to be like you. 1252 01:38:17,041 --> 01:38:18,554 - Yonica, don't be so sarcastic. - I'm not. 1253 01:38:20,433 --> 01:38:22,924 - Where are we going? - I don't know. 1254 01:38:23,470 --> 01:38:24,786 What do you mean, I don't know? 1255 01:38:24,886 --> 01:38:26,520 When I said I don't know, it means I don't know. 1256 01:38:26,620 --> 01:38:28,234 - GuideStar! - Welcome back, Mr. Hauser. 1257 01:38:28,341 --> 01:38:30,332 I can book you an hotel, make you a dinner reservation. 1258 01:38:30,443 --> 01:38:31,658 You wanna just be spontaneous? 1259 01:38:31,758 --> 01:38:35,030 Spontaneous? It's Memorial Day weekend, what if everything's full? 1260 01:38:35,130 --> 01:38:36,999 It's not gonna be full. Jerry, am I right? 1261 01:38:37,099 --> 01:38:38,630 Don't get Jerry involved in this. 1262 01:38:38,730 --> 01:38:40,535 Would you two stop fighting? 1263 01:38:40,635 --> 01:38:42,437 We're not fighting. We're just discussing. 1264 01:38:42,537 --> 01:38:44,407 - It be sounding like fighting. - Now she hates fighting. 1265 01:38:44,507 --> 01:38:46,288 Well, what do you expect? Look at her father! 1266 01:38:46,393 --> 01:38:48,407 This is the former vice president speaking. 1267 01:38:48,507 --> 01:38:51,914 In response to the cowardly and unprovoked terrorist... 1268 01:38:52,014 --> 01:38:53,714 attack on the Emerald City mall... 1269 01:38:53,814 --> 01:38:57,484 Tamerlane is pleased to announce that it has been awarded the contract... 1270 01:38:57,584 --> 01:38:59,299 to preemptively strike Ugikistan... 1271 01:38:59,940 --> 01:39:02,454 which intelligence has confirmed is behind this... 1272 01:39:02,554 --> 01:39:04,475 and hundreds of other attacks in Turaqistan. 1273 01:39:05,010 --> 01:39:08,560 America cannot stand idly by and allow hostile foreign powers... 1274 01:39:08,660 --> 01:39:10,478 to meddle in Turaqi affairs. 1275 01:39:10,883 --> 01:39:12,701 Intelligence has also conclusively stated... 1276 01:39:12,801 --> 01:39:16,137 that the Ugikis are developing a nuclear arsenal... 1277 01:39:16,237 --> 01:39:19,885 and we cannot let the smoking gun come in the form of a mushroom cloud.