1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:06,673 2 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,223 I am not a bum. 3 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,017 I'm a jerk. 4 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:03,605 I once had wealth... 5 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,108 ...power... 6 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:09,778 ...and the love of a beautiful woman. 7 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:14,324 Now l only have two things... 8 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,703 ...my friends... 9 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:19,871 ...and... 10 00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:27,046 ...my thermos. 11 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,765 My story? 12 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,485 Okay. 13 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,907 It was never easy for me. 14 00:01:56,700 --> 00:02:00,495 I was born a poor black child. 15 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,332 I remember the days... 16 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:07,628 ...sitting on the porch with my family... 17 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,296 ...singing and dancing... 18 00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,007 ...down in Mississippi. 19 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,475 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 20 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,811 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 21 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:26,188 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 22 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,357 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 23 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,109 -"Gonna jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 24 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,570 -"Gonna jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale a day 25 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:35,864 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 26 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,408 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale a day 27 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,577 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale of cotton 28 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,997 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale a day 29 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,332 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale of cotton 30 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,667 -"Me and my buddy gonna -"Pick a bale a day 31 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,254 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 32 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,339 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 33 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,841 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 34 00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:57,219 -"Oh, lordy -"Pick a bale a day 35 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,763 -"Gonna get on my knees -"Pick a bale of cotton 36 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,099 -"Gonna get on my knees -"Pick a bale a day 37 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,434 -"Gonna move all around -"Pick a bale of cotton 38 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,728 -"Gonna move all around -"Pick a bale a day 39 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,189 -"You want a barebacked man -"Pick a bale of cotton 40 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,525 -"You want a barebacked man -"Pick a bale a day 41 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,027 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 42 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,280 -"Jump down, turn around -"Pick a bale a day" 43 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,323 Boy, l hope everybody's good and hungry. 44 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:21,160 -I know l am. -And l'm ready for that. 45 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,786 Here's corn bread. 46 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,915 Collard greens. And l cooked up those hog maws you like. 47 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,543 Mother, dear, ain't we forgetting something? 48 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:34,506 No, l'm not. Today is Navin's birthday. 49 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,885 Happy birthday!. 50 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,678 It's Navin's birthday!. 51 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,765 And l cooked you up your favorite meal. 52 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:46,143 Tuna fish salad on white bread with mayonnaise... 53 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,813 ...a Tab and a couple of Twinkies. 54 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,941 -Here, darling. -Mom, thanks. 55 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:54,443 You're gonna like that shit, man. 56 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,489 I got you a present. 57 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,576 -Gee, Elvira. -I made it myself. 58 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:07,914 We got you something, too. A half bottle of lilac vegetal. It's from both of us. 59 00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:10,167 I drew you this picture. 60 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,503 -Here. -Thank you. 61 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,464 I want you to have my Zippo. 62 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,470 Dad, you had this since the war. 63 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:26,975 Thanks. 64 00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:30,229 Thanks, everybody. 65 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,357 God bless us... 66 00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:35,525 ...everyone. 67 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,402 Navin!. 68 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,577 Will you pass me the potatoes and the collard greens? 69 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:49,081 -Navin, darling. -I'm sorry l spoiled the party, Mom. 70 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,708 You didn't spoil the party. 71 00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,174 I brought you a Twinkie. 72 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,178 I'm not hungry right now. 73 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,390 Feeling different again? 74 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:10,269 It's like l don't fit in. It's like l don't belong here. 75 00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:14,648 It's your birthday, and it's time you knew. 76 00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:18,027 You're not our natural-born child. 77 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:25,367 I'm not? 78 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,996 You were left on our doorstep... 79 00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:32,583 ...but we raised you like you were one of us. 80 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,627 You mean l'm going to stay this color? 81 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:43,718 I'd love you if you were the color of a baboon's ass. Come here. 82 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:56,565 Navin, l wrapped your sandwich in cellophane, just like you like it. 83 00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:01,862 You want to come in and sing some blues? 84 00:06:02,613 --> 00:06:04,156 No, thanks, Taj. 85 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,076 There's something about those songs. 86 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,453 They depress me. 87 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,122 Come here, darling. 88 00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:23,300 That's it, darling. 89 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,470 You're getting the rhythm. See? 90 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:39,232 And that concludes this Sunday night Gospel Hour... 91 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,443 ...live from the Four Square Gospel Church... 92 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:44,572 ...at the Divine Salvation in St. Louis, Missouri. 93 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:47,032 The Reverend Willard Willman, Pastor. 94 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,326 And now, music throughout the night. 95 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,494 Music in a mellow mood. 96 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,072 -Grandma!. -What happened? 97 00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:11,408 -Look!. -What happened? 98 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,869 Don't touch that radio!. Don't touch it!. 99 00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:15,871 Turn it up!. Turn it up!. 100 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:19,083 I've never heard music like this before!. 101 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,211 It speaks to me!. Taj!. Dad!. 102 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:25,213 This is unbelievable. Now watch. 103 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:29,593 Yeah? 104 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:34,681 Well, if this is out there, think how much more is out there!. 105 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:39,103 This is the kind of music that tells me to go out there and be somebody!. 106 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,689 -But Navin-- -Let him go. 107 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:55,577 Now that you're going out into the world... 108 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,621 ...there's something you should know. 109 00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,249 -You see that? -Yeah. 110 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,043 That's shit. 111 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:07,506 And this is Shinola. 112 00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:11,385 Shit. 113 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,221 Shinola. 114 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:16,598 Son, you're gonna be all right. 115 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:20,352 Now, what town are you gonna try for first? 116 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:24,689 I thought l'd go to St. Louis 'cause that's where that radio show was from. 117 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,693 And remember, the Lord loves a working man. 118 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,946 -"Lord loves a working man." -And son... 119 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:33,615 ...don't never, ever trust Whitey. 120 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:37,327 "Don't trust Whitey. Lord loves a working man, don't trust Whitey." 121 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:40,706 Baby. 122 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,083 Daddy. 123 00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:47,922 Pierre. Come here. 124 00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,382 Don't you forget to grow up now. 125 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:53,177 -Good luck, brother. -Send me a picture postcard. 126 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,514 Okay, let the boy go. 127 00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:00,267 -Bye. -We got work to do. 128 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:04,146 And l hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. 129 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:09,610 I will, Ma. I know it's out there. 130 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:13,530 It's out there, all right. If you catch it, see a doctor and get rid of it. 131 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,907 -"See a doctor and get rid of it." -Good luck. 132 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,660 "Lord loves a working man. Don't trust Whitey. 133 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,954 "See a doctor and get rid of it." 134 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,582 Bye, Grandma!. 135 00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,349 I sure do miss Navin. 136 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,144 Is he ever coming back? 137 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:49,191 Take away his place setting. It's making us too goddamn sad. 138 00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:56,115 I wonder if he's doing all right? 139 00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:59,618 Navin!. How you doing? 140 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:03,289 Don't worry about me. I think l see a car coming. 141 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,709 No, wait. It's a truck!. 142 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,253 Lord... 143 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,713 ...take care of our little boy. 144 00:11:17,469 --> 00:11:19,972 -I'm hitchhiking. -How far you going? 145 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:22,474 St. Louis. How far are you going? 146 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,976 To the end of this fence. 147 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,146 Okay. 148 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:34,236 I'm Navin Johnson. What's your name, sir? 149 00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:37,198 -Here we are. -Okay. 150 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,872 Thanks for the company. 151 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,416 I hope l can repay you someday. 152 00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,221 Well, what is it, boy? Are you lost? 153 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:46,267 Do you want to play? ls it trouble? 154 00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,062 Trouble? 155 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,856 Is it an accident? 156 00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:54,441 A drowning? 157 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,485 A fire? 158 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,362 Fire!. 159 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:04,117 We've got to warn everybody!. 160 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:07,830 I've heard about dogs like you. You're going to be famous!. 161 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:12,167 You're going to get your picture taken, and they'll put it in the paper!. 162 00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:13,919 This is exciting!. 163 00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:17,965 You saved my life!. Come on, let's warn everybody!. 164 00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:23,387 Fire!. It's a fire!. Fire!. There's a fire!. 165 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:26,556 Everybody!. Up!. Wake up!. It's a fire!. 166 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,643 It's a fire!. This dog, he's saving everybody's life!. 167 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,271 He's unbelievable!. He's some dog!. He's a lifesaver!. 168 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:37,901 That's what l'll call him, too!. Ol' Lifesaver!. That will be your name!. 169 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:44,783 Folks!. False alarm. There's no fire. 170 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:49,621 Mister, don't call that dog "Lifesaver." 171 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:52,917 -No? -Call him "Shithead." 172 00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:55,628 Good. "Shithead." 173 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,005 It's exciting. 174 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:02,550 It's just exciting to have this kind of life on the road. 175 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,594 A guy and his dog. 176 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,308 St. Louis? 177 00:14:10,392 --> 00:14:12,394 No. Navin Johnson. 178 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,938 No, do you want a lift to St. Louis? 179 00:14:15,189 --> 00:14:17,692 -Okay, thanks. -Hop in. 180 00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:23,072 This'll be fine right here. 181 00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,208 Thank you. 182 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,587 -Where you going? -To the bathroom. 183 00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:41,423 -Got to have a key. -Can l get one? 184 00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:44,343 My key is for customers who buy gas. 185 00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:47,054 I'm buying gas. 186 00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,140 I don't see no car. 187 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:51,850 I just need enough for my lighter. 188 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:52,934 Look at this!. 189 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:56,146 And my wife wanted me to stay home. Look what l would've missed. 190 00:14:56,230 --> 00:14:58,566 A complete fill-up for a whole lighter? 191 00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:01,152 -It's on that wall. -Thank you. 192 00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:12,329 -And don't walk away with it. -I won't. 193 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,374 Pop-top. 194 00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:17,793 Silver Bird, l'm talking to you!. 195 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,379 Listen, you want to be president of Texaco Oil? 196 00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:24,967 -Sure!. -Then clean up the sink in there. 197 00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:29,512 Then l'll be president of Texaco Oil? 198 00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:32,098 Whatever happened to working your way up? 199 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:36,102 Working for me 10 minutes, and already he wants to be president. The nerve. 200 00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:38,481 Get to work in there!. 201 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,858 But, sir, l don't work here. 202 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:42,985 Not even for $1 .10 an hour? 203 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:12,556 "Dear Folks, l got this greatjob in a gas station. 204 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,724 "l don't want to say how much l'm getting... 205 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,060 "...but let'sjust say it's a lot! 206 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,229 "l'm enclosing $2!" 207 00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:21,523 That's a good boy!. 208 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:25,193 "lt's a lot of fun working, and Mr. Hartounian is really nice. 209 00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:27,571 "He's teaching me how to be impatient. 210 00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:33,702 "Well, l've got to go now. What do you think l do, write letters all day?" 211 00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:39,166 -You actually sleep here? -Yes. Is that okay? 212 00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:43,170 Come with me. I got a beautiful little place for you. 213 00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:46,799 Put the light on. You're going to like it here. 214 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:52,846 Like it? l love it!. This is fabulous!. 215 00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:55,891 You got the toilet here!. 216 00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:58,685 This must be the kitchen. No. 217 00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:01,731 You know what l could do... 218 00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:04,275 ...is take this wall and just turn it this way... 219 00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:06,527 ...so l've got a larger living space... 220 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:10,530 ...plus it'll create a flow into the main living area. It'll be incredible. 221 00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:12,991 No, l'll just elevate this about six inches... 222 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:16,870 ...create the illusion of two rooms, and yet still have that flow. 223 00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:19,665 Then l can take bookshelves and put it here. 224 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:24,169 No, l'll put the books right over here. That way l can be relaxing over here... 225 00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:28,298 ...the customers can use the urinal. I won't disturb them, they won't disturb me. 226 00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:31,176 Take it easy. It's not here. It's in here. 227 00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,973 I couldn't afford this anyway. 228 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,933 Well, this is it. 229 00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:40,811 It's perfect!. 230 00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:43,022 I won't have to change this at all!. 231 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:44,398 Take a look. 232 00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:47,776 No kitchen, no windows, no chairs, no tables. 233 00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:49,945 It's a masterpiece of understatement. 234 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:54,741 I'll put a bed down here, get a bigger bulb. I'll bring some sheets from the house. 235 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,535 You'll be set for life. 236 00:17:58,662 --> 00:18:01,248 How much is this gonna cost me? 237 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:04,626 Nothing. When you're rich and famous, you'll send me a postcard. 238 00:18:06,879 --> 00:18:08,547 A postcard? 239 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,264 Okay!. It's a deal. 240 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,391 It's a deal. 241 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:22,769 What are those? 242 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,980 Step outside for a second, darling. 243 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:28,233 Navin, this is my wife Lenore. Lenore, this is Navin. 244 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:29,985 Pleased to meet you. 245 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:33,446 Do you know why a woman of such pulchritude is married to me? 246 00:18:33,572 --> 00:18:35,407 'Cause l make a comfortable living. 247 00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:38,369 This is the first time l'm leaving you alone on a Sunday. 248 00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:42,289 If anything should happen to this station, this woman would leave me like a-- 249 00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,918 In other words, there would be no more.... 250 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:50,756 -Do you know what l'm talking about? -Yes, sir. No more.... 251 00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,761 So remember, guard this station with your life... 252 00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:58,638 ...because my sex life is in your hands. 253 00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:12,069 I can fix those shocks. 254 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:15,655 No. We just want some gas, muchacho. 255 00:19:15,739 --> 00:19:18,867 Okay. But it's Sunday. We've got to have a credit card. 256 00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,787 And all the cash is locked up? 257 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:26,041 No, not locked up. We got a lot of cash. Just that the banks are closed... 258 00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:28,836 ...and l'm not allowed to have cash coming in or out. 259 00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:31,922 I'm alone for the first time. I don't want anything to happen. 260 00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:36,093 You flash this kind of wad in front of some people, they'll kill you for it. 261 00:19:36,134 --> 00:19:38,053 So, we've got to have a credit card. 262 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:41,556 Have we got a credit card in there? 263 00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:43,601 Credit card. 264 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,109 No, thanks. I don't smoke. 265 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,820 -What kind of cigarette is that? -Joint. 266 00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:55,988 Joint? 267 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:57,948 They don't make 'em very good. 268 00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:01,452 -MasterCharge do? -That's fine. We take MasterCharge. 269 00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:05,414 You want a fill-up, Mrs. Nussbaum? 270 00:20:07,291 --> 00:20:09,210 I'm Mr. Nussbaum. 271 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:11,878 Yeah, that's his wife's card. 272 00:20:12,004 --> 00:20:15,216 -His wife's card? -Yeah, l'll vouch for him. 273 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,593 Okay, as long as we got a voucher. 274 00:20:29,188 --> 00:20:30,773 Stolen!. 275 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,713 I got it!. Just send a police car over. 276 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:59,259 Mrs. Nussbaum's credit card!. I got the guys who stole it. 277 00:21:01,136 --> 00:21:03,555 Hold on, they're calling me!. I'll be right back!. 278 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,938 -Yes? -Yeah, throw a couple of tires in the trunk. 279 00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:14,608 Put it on the card. Radials. 280 00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:18,486 -Make them whitewalls. -Yes, sir, Mr. Nussbaum. 281 00:21:25,369 --> 00:21:27,538 I'm back, only it's worse than l thought. 282 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:31,583 They're not only sticking us for gas, but grabbing tires and everything. 283 00:21:31,667 --> 00:21:33,419 They're really socking it to us. 284 00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:36,338 Yeah, it's Hartounian's Gas Station at the corner-- 285 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:39,133 Hang on a second. I don't want to get 'em suspicious. 286 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:44,596 Don't worry, l can keep 'em here. I saw this trick in a movie. 287 00:21:48,684 --> 00:21:51,395 -Got your tires!. -Yeah, good. 288 00:22:35,314 --> 00:22:37,066 -Anything else? -Yeah. 289 00:22:37,149 --> 00:22:40,277 We'll take that money you got in your pocket. 290 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,656 Sure. I'll just put it on the card. 291 00:22:45,657 --> 00:22:48,785 Guess what!. You're our eighth customer today!. 292 00:22:48,869 --> 00:22:51,747 You won a free oven mitt!. 293 00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:54,166 I'll go get it for you. 294 00:23:08,639 --> 00:23:10,391 Yeah, l'm back. 295 00:23:12,184 --> 00:23:15,813 Yeah, they're gonna be here for a while. Don't worry. I've rigged it. 296 00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:19,483 You guys want to stick around for an oven mitt? 297 00:23:25,572 --> 00:23:27,157 Hang on just a second. 298 00:23:53,809 --> 00:23:57,813 They might not be here exactly when you get back but... 299 00:23:58,522 --> 00:24:01,817 ...it's a blue Chevy two-door. 300 00:24:02,234 --> 00:24:06,029 And it'd be going south on Hertado Street. 301 00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:09,366 No, l can't make out the license number, but... 302 00:24:10,242 --> 00:24:12,494 ...it'd be pulling a small church. 303 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:18,042 Any blue Chevy pulling a small church l figure that'd be the one, yeah. 304 00:24:18,959 --> 00:24:21,462 Believe me, l'm not mad at you. 305 00:24:21,712 --> 00:24:24,840 What's the matter with you? What did l lose, a couple of tires? 306 00:24:27,426 --> 00:24:30,346 Look at the bright side. We also lost a church. 307 00:24:30,929 --> 00:24:33,014 Mr. Hartounian. 308 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,605 Oh, my God!. 309 00:24:42,524 --> 00:24:43,984 Thank you. 310 00:24:52,701 --> 00:24:55,537 The new phone book's here!. 311 00:24:55,579 --> 00:24:57,915 I wish l could get that excited about nothing. 312 00:24:57,956 --> 00:25:00,792 Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73!. 313 00:25:00,918 --> 00:25:03,963 "Johnson, Navin R." 314 00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:08,884 I'm somebody now!. Millions of people look at this book every day!. 315 00:25:09,009 --> 00:25:11,428 This is the kind of spontaneous publicity... 316 00:25:11,470 --> 00:25:14,765 ...your name in print, that makes people!. 317 00:25:15,766 --> 00:25:17,518 I'm in print!. 318 00:25:18,936 --> 00:25:22,481 Things are going to start happening to me now. 319 00:25:25,859 --> 00:25:27,944 "Johnson, Navin R." 320 00:25:28,028 --> 00:25:30,197 Sounds like a typical bastard. 321 00:25:34,117 --> 00:25:36,911 Die, Navin R. Johnson. 322 00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:41,416 Bastard!. 323 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:44,962 Random son of a bitch, typical run-of-the-mill bastard. 324 00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:48,298 -Fill 'er up? -Fill 'er up and a little bit extra. 325 00:25:48,340 --> 00:25:51,885 -Stan Fox, buying gas. -Navin R. Johnson selling it, sir!. 326 00:25:52,302 --> 00:25:54,721 Gotcha, you average... 327 00:25:54,847 --> 00:25:59,352 ...typical blocking-the-view- of-a-goddamn-average-victim bastard!. 328 00:25:59,685 --> 00:26:02,688 -Check your oil? -Check away, Navin R. Johnson. 329 00:26:02,729 --> 00:26:04,272 Oil rag at the ready, sir!. 330 00:26:04,314 --> 00:26:06,733 -Let's check the oil together. -Yes, sir. 331 00:26:07,526 --> 00:26:08,402 Thank you. 332 00:26:11,488 --> 00:26:12,906 Son-of-a-blocking bastard!. 333 00:26:13,866 --> 00:26:16,619 Looks good to me, sir, but l'd like your opinion. 334 00:26:16,785 --> 00:26:18,328 Damn these glasses. 335 00:26:18,412 --> 00:26:21,248 It looks good to me, too. Hurry up. Time's a wasting. 336 00:26:21,290 --> 00:26:25,419 I'm going to the john. Don't forget to check those tires. Damn these glasses. 337 00:26:25,460 --> 00:26:28,213 Yes, sir!. I damn thee!. 338 00:26:29,298 --> 00:26:30,758 Damn!. 339 00:26:35,053 --> 00:26:37,305 Damn these glasses!. 340 00:26:38,515 --> 00:26:40,851 -I can fix those glasses. -You can? 341 00:26:40,934 --> 00:26:43,103 Well, here, fix those suckers!. 342 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:55,490 Shit!. 343 00:27:15,135 --> 00:27:17,638 Guess what? l fixed 'em. 344 00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:20,766 I was back there thinking... 345 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:24,019 ..."What causes glasses to slip on and off?. " 346 00:27:24,061 --> 00:27:26,647 And it's because when you take them on and off... 347 00:27:26,730 --> 00:27:28,857 ...you're putting pressure on the frames. 348 00:27:28,982 --> 00:27:30,609 It causes them to spread. 349 00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:33,945 So l put a little handle right here in the center... 350 00:27:34,029 --> 00:27:36,448 ...that puts the pressure on the bridge. 351 00:27:36,490 --> 00:27:38,659 Just like the tie rods on a '72 Buick. 352 00:27:38,825 --> 00:27:42,871 Plus, l put a little nose brake on here to prevent slippage. Try it. 353 00:27:43,497 --> 00:27:44,999 Use the handle. 354 00:27:48,377 --> 00:27:49,503 Well, l'll be. 355 00:27:51,129 --> 00:27:52,088 It works. 356 00:27:54,091 --> 00:27:57,886 I make a pretty good living selling shit like this. I'll tell you what. 357 00:27:57,970 --> 00:28:01,515 If l can develop this gizmo, l'll split it with you fifty-fifty. 358 00:28:01,932 --> 00:28:04,435 How much for the gas? l got a load of shit to sell. 359 00:28:04,476 --> 00:28:07,396 -$26.41 . -Here's a triple dix. Keep the change. 360 00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:09,357 Thanks!. 361 00:28:12,651 --> 00:28:16,113 Dead center!. Say your prayers, half-breed!. 362 00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:28,416 Harry!. Look at this!. 363 00:28:29,001 --> 00:28:31,587 What's the matter with these cans? 364 00:28:32,337 --> 00:28:34,256 Die, milk-face!. 365 00:28:37,593 --> 00:28:40,638 These cans are defective. They're springing leaks. 366 00:28:40,762 --> 00:28:42,264 Come and look at this. 367 00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:46,393 You better run for cover or you'll spring a leak. 368 00:28:46,727 --> 00:28:49,563 We don't have defective cans. We have a defective person!. 369 00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:54,776 He hates these cans. 370 00:28:56,195 --> 00:28:58,114 Stay away from the cans!. 371 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,199 Die, gas pumper!. 372 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,703 I've got to get away from those cans!. 373 00:29:03,869 --> 00:29:05,871 There's cans in there, too!. 374 00:29:05,913 --> 00:29:07,289 Run!. Run!. 375 00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:11,669 More cans!. 376 00:29:12,461 --> 00:29:14,129 Die, you bastard!. 377 00:29:16,715 --> 00:29:20,177 He doesn't want to put holes in cans. He wants to put holes in you. 378 00:29:20,260 --> 00:29:21,762 What? 379 00:29:24,681 --> 00:29:26,683 Milk-faced bastard!. 380 00:29:27,976 --> 00:29:30,228 Oh, my God!. I'm endangering your life!. 381 00:29:30,312 --> 00:29:32,147 -Cover me!. -You're covered. 382 00:29:32,898 --> 00:29:34,650 Suck my toes!. 383 00:29:39,488 --> 00:29:41,991 You stay here!. I'll distract him!. 384 00:29:57,172 --> 00:29:59,508 Shithead!. Come on!. 385 00:30:01,552 --> 00:30:03,971 Come on, boy!. Good boy!. 386 00:30:33,834 --> 00:30:36,879 "Carnival personnel only." Damn!. 387 00:30:41,508 --> 00:30:43,010 Shithead, come on!. 388 00:30:43,635 --> 00:30:45,720 You're not carnival personnel!. 389 00:30:50,601 --> 00:30:53,354 He's not carnival personnel!. 390 00:30:55,105 --> 00:30:56,940 Okay, move it out!. 391 00:31:02,946 --> 00:31:06,450 "So, Mom, when l told Mr. Hartounian l'd come back, he said: 392 00:31:06,575 --> 00:31:08,035 "'Don't be a putz. 393 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,663 "'See the world. Me you've seen already.' 394 00:31:10,746 --> 00:31:15,334 "l took his advice and got a job with SJM Fiesta Shows as a weight guesser. 395 00:31:15,459 --> 00:31:19,088 "Frosty, my boss, told me there's a big future in weight guessing. 396 00:31:19,338 --> 00:31:23,384 "Enclosed is $4.75 for my loving family. 397 00:31:23,967 --> 00:31:26,803 "P.S. Is grandma still farting?" 398 00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:31,641 For $1, l'll guess your weight, your height or your sex. 399 00:31:31,892 --> 00:31:34,561 The most exciting thing on the midway. 400 00:31:34,603 --> 00:31:39,024 Imagine the thrill of getting your weight guessed by a professional. 401 00:31:39,358 --> 00:31:42,319 You can blow up your cheeks, you can stick out your chest... 402 00:31:42,361 --> 00:31:44,947 ...but you're not going to fool the guesser!. 403 00:31:45,030 --> 00:31:47,282 How 'bout you, sir? Step right up!. 404 00:31:47,324 --> 00:31:51,119 Honey, let's see how good this guy is. Now, what do l win? 405 00:31:52,204 --> 00:31:55,999 Anything in this general area right in here. 406 00:31:56,083 --> 00:32:00,379 Anything below the stereo and on this side of the bicentennial glasses. 407 00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:04,382 Anything between the ashtrays and the thimble. 408 00:32:04,716 --> 00:32:08,887 Anything in this three inches right in here, in this area. 409 00:32:08,929 --> 00:32:11,723 That includes the Chiclets, but not the erasers. 410 00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:13,600 No, sir!. Come on, honey. 411 00:32:13,684 --> 00:32:16,020 He thought he had himself a rube. 412 00:32:18,772 --> 00:32:21,191 Frosty, l'm no good at this. 413 00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:23,194 Come on. You're doing fine. 414 00:32:23,318 --> 00:32:27,280 I've already given away eight pencils, two hula dolls and an ashtray... 415 00:32:27,364 --> 00:32:29,533 ...and l've only taken in $15. 416 00:32:29,867 --> 00:32:32,661 Navin, you have taken in $15... 417 00:32:32,744 --> 00:32:35,497 ...and given away 50 cents worth of crap!. 418 00:32:36,081 --> 00:32:39,376 Which gives us a net profit of $14.50. 419 00:32:45,132 --> 00:32:47,551 It's a profit deal. 420 00:32:50,345 --> 00:32:52,597 Takes the pressure off. 421 00:32:53,432 --> 00:32:56,477 Get your weight guessed right here!. Only a buck!. 422 00:32:56,518 --> 00:33:01,106 Actual weight guessing!. Take a chance, win some crap. Step right up-- 423 00:33:01,190 --> 00:33:03,776 Ladies and gentlemen... 424 00:33:03,984 --> 00:33:08,655 ...l draw your attention now to the left side ofthe midway. 425 00:33:09,031 --> 00:33:13,619 Presenting the amazing Patti Bernstein... 426 00:33:14,494 --> 00:33:17,038 ...doing her special ride... 427 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,208 ...through the Flaming Wall of Death! 428 00:34:25,482 --> 00:34:27,567 Want to guess my weight, Greenie? 429 00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:30,571 I saw you last night. You were great. 430 00:34:30,696 --> 00:34:33,032 Yeah, right. Turn around. 431 00:34:33,824 --> 00:34:35,034 What? 432 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:36,827 Turn around. 433 00:34:38,996 --> 00:34:40,414 Go like this. 434 00:34:44,376 --> 00:34:47,754 You're okay. Give me a bite of that corn dog. 435 00:34:48,130 --> 00:34:50,132 What about germs? 436 00:34:50,966 --> 00:34:52,885 Put a rubber on it. 437 00:34:55,554 --> 00:34:56,972 Get on. 438 00:35:03,729 --> 00:35:06,065 Don't you wear him out!. He's got to work tonight. 439 00:35:12,905 --> 00:35:14,573 What a great place!. 440 00:35:18,035 --> 00:35:21,664 You know, you can tell so much about a person from the way they live. 441 00:35:21,705 --> 00:35:23,790 Just looking around here, l can tell... 442 00:35:23,874 --> 00:35:26,668 ...you're a genuinely dirty person. 443 00:35:30,589 --> 00:35:32,007 What do l do with this? 444 00:35:35,469 --> 00:35:37,304 You keep it there. 445 00:35:41,433 --> 00:35:43,018 Where's your garbage? 446 00:35:46,563 --> 00:35:47,689 There. 447 00:35:51,818 --> 00:35:54,487 -Do you know what l'd like to do? -What? 448 00:35:55,781 --> 00:35:57,366 Guess your weight. 449 00:35:57,407 --> 00:35:59,159 That would be interesting for me. 450 00:35:59,201 --> 00:36:01,537 No one has tried to guess my weight. 451 00:36:01,578 --> 00:36:04,706 -I guess their weight so it would be sort-- -Put your arms up. 452 00:36:07,292 --> 00:36:10,170 This will give me a whole different perspective on this. 453 00:36:15,133 --> 00:36:17,719 You're really trying to be accurate. 454 00:36:23,517 --> 00:36:25,519 Is it getting hot in here? 455 00:36:26,603 --> 00:36:28,522 Wait a minute!. 456 00:36:28,730 --> 00:36:31,233 What's happening to my special purpose? 457 00:36:31,316 --> 00:36:32,901 What's your special purpose? 458 00:36:32,943 --> 00:36:36,155 When l was a kid, my mom told me that was my special purpose... 459 00:36:36,238 --> 00:36:39,241 ...and someday l'd find out what that special purpose was!. 460 00:36:39,283 --> 00:36:41,118 Today's the day!. 461 00:36:46,832 --> 00:36:48,834 This is like a ride!. 462 00:36:50,460 --> 00:36:54,172 "My dear family, guess what? 463 00:36:54,840 --> 00:37:00,304 "Today l found out what my special purpose is for. 464 00:37:01,597 --> 00:37:04,642 "Gosh, what a great time l had. 465 00:37:04,975 --> 00:37:08,937 "l wish the whole family could have been here with me. 466 00:37:09,521 --> 00:37:12,149 "Maybe some other time... 467 00:37:12,608 --> 00:37:15,820 "...as l intend to do this a lot... 468 00:37:16,528 --> 00:37:18,947 "...every chance l get. 469 00:37:19,531 --> 00:37:22,993 "l think next week l'll be able to send more money... 470 00:37:23,076 --> 00:37:25,745 "...as l may have extra work. 471 00:37:25,954 --> 00:37:29,249 "My friend Patti promised me a blow job. 472 00:37:29,291 --> 00:37:31,376 "Your loving son, Navin." 473 00:37:31,710 --> 00:37:34,296 And he's got the kisses here. 474 00:37:36,298 --> 00:37:40,385 -That Patti must be a sweet girl. -God bless her. 475 00:38:07,538 --> 00:38:11,834 Do you think we'll get to know each other well enough to kiss? 476 00:38:11,917 --> 00:38:14,420 We don't have to. You're my man. 477 00:38:14,586 --> 00:38:17,547 It's like we're married. Look at my ass. 478 00:38:19,925 --> 00:38:23,637 You have my last name tattooed right there under the J's. 479 00:38:24,513 --> 00:38:28,684 First l get my name in the phone book, and now l'm on your ass. 480 00:38:28,976 --> 00:38:33,063 You know, l'll bet more people see that than the phone book. 481 00:38:46,159 --> 00:38:47,535 End of the line. 482 00:38:47,578 --> 00:38:51,123 This is Engineer Fred. Come back and visit me again. 483 00:38:55,252 --> 00:38:56,670 Billy!. 484 00:39:03,260 --> 00:39:07,931 Have you seen a 5-year-old boy, blond hair, wearing a T-shirt that says "bullshit" on it? 485 00:39:08,056 --> 00:39:12,477 No, there was just one kid had a T-shirt that said "life sucks" on it. 486 00:39:12,769 --> 00:39:16,314 We got off the Round-Up, and he said he wanted to go on the train. 487 00:39:16,356 --> 00:39:18,108 There he is!. Billy!. 488 00:39:18,192 --> 00:39:20,027 -Come back here!. -Get off the train. 489 00:39:20,527 --> 00:39:22,696 Pull that lever!. Pull the lever!. 490 00:39:22,738 --> 00:39:25,491 Here, hold that!. And these!. 491 00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:31,038 Take my keys. And hold my wallet. Okay. 492 00:39:31,705 --> 00:39:34,708 Don't touch the Johnson bar, you'll explode the fuel casing!. 493 00:39:34,750 --> 00:39:37,878 And if the Wolfe and Smith indicator gets above 160... 494 00:39:37,961 --> 00:39:40,881 -...turn that off there. -I can't take you here anymore. 495 00:39:40,923 --> 00:39:44,051 There's a screwdriver. Put it in, turn it one quarter. 496 00:39:44,301 --> 00:39:46,220 Listen, we're going into a tunnel. 497 00:39:46,261 --> 00:39:48,972 Don't stand up. The clearance is only 4 foot-- 498 00:39:49,598 --> 00:39:51,350 -No. -I'm okay. 499 00:39:51,433 --> 00:39:54,394 I was protected by the bill of my Engineer Fred cap. 500 00:40:10,244 --> 00:40:12,663 Thanks for pulling my cap down. 501 00:40:16,583 --> 00:40:19,878 You scared me half to death. Thank you so much. 502 00:40:20,045 --> 00:40:22,965 It would've been so embarrassing to go home without Billy. 503 00:40:23,048 --> 00:40:28,512 Here's your gloves and your oil can and your wallet. 504 00:40:29,179 --> 00:40:30,806 And this fell out. 505 00:40:33,767 --> 00:40:35,435 Those guys!. 506 00:40:35,644 --> 00:40:39,857 Listen, what you did just now was very brave. 507 00:40:40,107 --> 00:40:42,443 Is there some way l could repay you? 508 00:40:42,693 --> 00:40:44,069 Repay me? 509 00:40:44,111 --> 00:40:47,406 I could never accept anything from you for saving your child. 510 00:40:47,447 --> 00:40:51,868 He's not my child. I'm just baby-sitting for a friend. 511 00:40:52,411 --> 00:40:56,498 -Would it be too much if l asked for a kiss? -No. 512 00:40:59,293 --> 00:41:01,128 He's a real little dickens. 513 00:41:10,053 --> 00:41:11,471 Thank you. 514 00:41:16,018 --> 00:41:17,228 Miss? 515 00:41:18,478 --> 00:41:21,606 I was just standing here right now, and l was... 516 00:41:21,773 --> 00:41:24,901 ...wondering, if you weren't doing anything tomorrow... 517 00:41:27,362 --> 00:41:31,658 ...maybe you might want to go out with.... 518 00:41:32,201 --> 00:41:33,494 What? 519 00:41:34,828 --> 00:41:39,583 I thought maybe you might want to go out with me. 520 00:41:40,083 --> 00:41:42,377 Are you trying to ask me for a date? 521 00:41:45,547 --> 00:41:49,134 Once for no, twice for yes. 522 00:41:52,137 --> 00:41:53,555 Okay. 523 00:41:55,474 --> 00:41:57,142 You're so cute. 524 00:41:57,226 --> 00:42:00,771 How about 3:30 tomorrow at the Round-Up? 525 00:42:00,854 --> 00:42:02,522 Okay. 526 00:42:05,150 --> 00:42:07,235 Do you have any boyfriends? 527 00:42:08,987 --> 00:42:10,197 Not really. 528 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:14,159 Are they crazy? lf l was a fella, l'd be around all the time. 529 00:42:14,243 --> 00:42:16,996 Well, see if you can work it out. 530 00:42:17,162 --> 00:42:19,081 We have a date tomorrow. 531 00:42:20,624 --> 00:42:22,626 What's your name? 532 00:42:23,168 --> 00:42:24,294 Marie. 533 00:42:25,796 --> 00:42:27,423 What's yours? 534 00:42:27,464 --> 00:42:31,885 I'll tell you tomorrow. It'll give us something interesting to talk about. 535 00:42:49,278 --> 00:42:50,404 Hi!. 536 00:42:50,529 --> 00:42:52,614 What's up, hubby? 537 00:42:54,366 --> 00:42:55,993 I got these for you. 538 00:42:59,288 --> 00:43:00,498 Thanks. 539 00:43:00,873 --> 00:43:04,168 Navin, you know the other day when l showed you the tattoo? 540 00:43:04,209 --> 00:43:05,502 Yeah. 541 00:43:06,503 --> 00:43:08,588 Well, l forgot to tell you something. 542 00:43:08,672 --> 00:43:11,091 -Really? What? -This. 543 00:43:16,805 --> 00:43:22,144 That's what's going to happen to you if l ever catch you looking at another broad. 544 00:43:22,477 --> 00:43:24,020 I'm glad you told me. 545 00:43:24,062 --> 00:43:27,857 And remember, l did this without anger. 546 00:43:28,525 --> 00:43:31,403 And l stayed away from your crotch. 547 00:43:32,571 --> 00:43:34,323 Bye, sweetie. 548 00:43:36,575 --> 00:43:39,411 -Hi!. -What happened? 549 00:43:39,661 --> 00:43:42,998 It was unbelievable. These guys jumped me. 550 00:43:42,998 --> 00:43:46,043 They tried to get these flowers. I got 'em for you. 551 00:43:46,126 --> 00:43:48,879 It's kind of a traditional date deal. 552 00:43:49,004 --> 00:43:52,299 Yeah, l've heard of that. What were they? 553 00:43:53,634 --> 00:43:55,553 Couple of dozen roses. 554 00:43:56,386 --> 00:43:58,221 Look like daisy stems. 555 00:43:58,305 --> 00:44:01,350 What? That guy gypped me. 556 00:44:01,433 --> 00:44:04,478 Put daisy stems on my roses. 557 00:44:05,270 --> 00:44:07,606 Look, these hoodlums are dangerous. 558 00:44:07,689 --> 00:44:10,483 I think we ought to get out of here before she sees us. 559 00:44:10,901 --> 00:44:13,070 -"She"? -What? 560 00:44:13,153 --> 00:44:15,989 -You said "she." -No!. 561 00:44:16,031 --> 00:44:17,950 I always call a gang "she." 562 00:44:17,991 --> 00:44:21,536 It's like when you call a boat "she" or a hurricane "she." 563 00:44:21,620 --> 00:44:22,830 Or a girl? 564 00:44:23,330 --> 00:44:27,668 You can call a girl "she." That's just one of the many things you can call "she." 565 00:44:30,504 --> 00:44:32,423 Why are you smiling? 566 00:44:33,131 --> 00:44:35,717 You're the fiirst person l've ever had at my place. 567 00:44:36,176 --> 00:44:37,386 Do you live here? 568 00:44:37,928 --> 00:44:39,471 It's nice. 569 00:44:39,555 --> 00:44:40,848 Did you decorate it? 570 00:44:40,931 --> 00:44:44,726 I got this from the old Cup O' Pizza place before they tore it down. 571 00:44:48,647 --> 00:44:50,315 That was really good pizza. 572 00:44:50,399 --> 00:44:52,484 This is the best pizza in a cup ever. 573 00:44:52,568 --> 00:44:56,363 This guy's unbelievable. He ran the old Cup O' Pizza guy out of business. 574 00:44:56,446 --> 00:44:59,032 People come from all over to get this. 575 00:45:12,838 --> 00:45:16,008 You know, you have beautiful skin. 576 00:45:19,011 --> 00:45:20,304 May l? 577 00:45:26,643 --> 00:45:29,354 So smooth and flexible. 578 00:45:30,147 --> 00:45:32,900 I take after my mother's side of the family. 579 00:45:33,150 --> 00:45:37,029 It's amazing the way it just snaps back like that. Amazing. 580 00:45:38,822 --> 00:45:40,991 -Are you a model? -No. 581 00:45:43,327 --> 00:45:45,412 I'm a cosmetologist. 582 00:45:45,787 --> 00:45:48,581 Really? A cosmetologist? 583 00:45:49,416 --> 00:45:51,335 That's unbelievable. 584 00:45:51,835 --> 00:45:53,587 That's impressive. 585 00:45:53,921 --> 00:45:56,841 It must be tough to handle the weightlessness. 586 00:45:58,634 --> 00:46:00,803 Can l ask you a personal question? 587 00:46:02,221 --> 00:46:03,764 What is it? 588 00:46:05,474 --> 00:46:07,309 Now be totally honest. 589 00:46:08,810 --> 00:46:11,062 You do have a boyfriend, don't you? 590 00:46:11,688 --> 00:46:12,981 Kind of. 591 00:46:14,691 --> 00:46:17,027 I know this is our first date, but... 592 00:46:19,321 --> 00:46:23,367 ...do you think the next time you make love to your boyfriend... 593 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,828 ...you could think of me? 594 00:46:26,912 --> 00:46:30,624 -I haven't made love to him yet. -That's too bad. 595 00:46:31,750 --> 00:46:33,669 Do you think it's possible that... 596 00:46:34,127 --> 00:46:35,420 ...someday... 597 00:46:36,630 --> 00:46:39,299 ...you could make love with me and think of him? 598 00:46:39,466 --> 00:46:40,759 Who knows? 599 00:46:40,968 --> 00:46:44,180 Maybe you and he can make love and you could think of me. 600 00:46:45,931 --> 00:46:48,434 I'd just be happy to be in there somewhere. 601 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:06,827 Do you have a girlfriend? 602 00:47:06,910 --> 00:47:10,789 -Does it matter? -I'd like to think you were available. 603 00:47:10,956 --> 00:47:12,875 I'm available. 604 00:47:24,428 --> 00:47:25,846 Did you forget about my ass? 605 00:47:25,888 --> 00:47:28,224 No, l've been thinking about it. 606 00:47:28,515 --> 00:47:30,600 She tattooed my name on her ass. 607 00:47:30,767 --> 00:47:32,852 Not just my name. A lot of names!. 608 00:47:33,020 --> 00:47:36,899 And funny things, too. She's got one up here that says "Slippery when wet." 609 00:47:37,024 --> 00:47:40,236 -How do you know that? -What is she, some great piece of ass? 610 00:47:40,277 --> 00:47:42,529 She's no great piece of ass!. 611 00:47:43,322 --> 00:47:46,367 I mean, wait a minute. 612 00:47:46,742 --> 00:47:49,787 We're all adults here. Let's reason this out. 613 00:47:49,870 --> 00:47:52,373 Marie's the type of person that if you got-- 614 00:47:52,414 --> 00:47:54,666 If this gash doesn't get out of here... 615 00:47:54,708 --> 00:47:57,211 ...l am gonna drive this bike up her butt!. 616 00:47:57,252 --> 00:47:59,087 While Patti tends to be more direct. 617 00:47:59,171 --> 00:48:01,256 As for you, farm boy.... 618 00:48:02,049 --> 00:48:03,676 We're married!. 619 00:48:03,717 --> 00:48:06,220 And as for you, kewpie doll-- 620 00:48:09,056 --> 00:48:11,850 You protected me. You must really like me. 621 00:48:17,940 --> 00:48:20,526 "l know, l know 622 00:48:20,692 --> 00:48:22,694 "You belong 623 00:48:23,195 --> 00:48:27,408 "To somebody new 624 00:48:28,408 --> 00:48:30,994 "But tonight 625 00:48:31,245 --> 00:48:35,374 "You belong to me 626 00:48:39,294 --> 00:48:41,797 "Although, although 627 00:48:41,839 --> 00:48:44,425 "We're apart 628 00:48:44,508 --> 00:48:46,760 "You're part 629 00:48:46,969 --> 00:48:49,555 "Of my heart 630 00:48:49,763 --> 00:48:52,140 "And tonight 631 00:48:52,307 --> 00:48:56,561 "You belong to me 632 00:49:00,482 --> 00:49:02,734 "Way down 633 00:49:03,068 --> 00:49:05,320 "By the stream 634 00:49:05,654 --> 00:49:07,823 "How sweet 635 00:49:08,365 --> 00:49:10,534 "lt would seem 636 00:49:10,993 --> 00:49:12,912 "Once more 637 00:49:13,078 --> 00:49:15,789 "Just to dream 638 00:49:16,081 --> 00:49:19,209 "ln the moonlight 639 00:49:20,294 --> 00:49:24,340 "My honey, l know, l know 640 00:49:24,381 --> 00:49:26,717 "With the dawn 641 00:49:26,842 --> 00:49:28,761 "That you 642 00:49:29,428 --> 00:49:32,014 "Will be gone 643 00:49:32,181 --> 00:49:34,350 "But tonight 644 00:49:34,892 --> 00:49:37,061 "You belong 645 00:49:37,728 --> 00:49:41,690 "To me, just to little old me" 646 00:50:13,180 --> 00:50:14,848 You know... 647 00:50:15,724 --> 00:50:18,310 ...while you were playing that just now... 648 00:50:19,394 --> 00:50:22,480 ...l had the craziest fantasy that l could... 649 00:50:23,357 --> 00:50:24,775 ...rise up... 650 00:50:25,192 --> 00:50:29,071 ...float right down the end of this cornet... 651 00:50:29,655 --> 00:50:31,657 ...right through here... 652 00:50:31,782 --> 00:50:33,951 ...through these valves... 653 00:50:34,076 --> 00:50:36,579 ...right along this tube... 654 00:50:36,954 --> 00:50:39,373 ...come right up against your lips... 655 00:50:40,249 --> 00:50:42,251 ...and give you a kiss. 656 00:50:44,962 --> 00:50:46,630 Why didn't you? 657 00:50:47,172 --> 00:50:49,424 I didn't want to get spit on me. 658 00:51:42,060 --> 00:51:44,229 Was it good for you, too? 659 00:51:47,941 --> 00:51:50,277 I really do want to kiss you... 660 00:51:52,321 --> 00:51:54,073 ...but l'm afraid. 661 00:51:54,656 --> 00:51:57,868 -I would have kept my tongue in. -No, l mean... 662 00:52:00,454 --> 00:52:02,873 ...l'm afraid if l kiss you... 663 00:52:04,791 --> 00:52:06,876 ...l'll fall in love with you. 664 00:52:07,836 --> 00:52:09,338 You will? 665 00:52:09,922 --> 00:52:11,924 And l don't want to. 666 00:52:13,258 --> 00:52:14,843 You don't? 667 00:52:16,178 --> 00:52:20,516 My mother sacrificed everything to send me through cosmetology school. 668 00:52:20,724 --> 00:52:22,267 She did? 669 00:52:23,519 --> 00:52:26,480 She has this dream for me to be something. 670 00:52:27,064 --> 00:52:28,566 She does? 671 00:52:29,650 --> 00:52:32,945 To marry someone with power... 672 00:52:33,779 --> 00:52:36,031 ...money, vision. 673 00:52:37,366 --> 00:52:39,952 Someone with a special purpose. 674 00:52:43,247 --> 00:52:44,999 I've got one!. 675 00:52:45,582 --> 00:52:48,960 -I've got a special purpose!. -You do? 676 00:52:49,044 --> 00:52:51,129 Yes!. It's fantastic!. 677 00:52:51,171 --> 00:52:54,383 It's great!. It's unbelievable!. 678 00:52:54,550 --> 00:52:58,679 And l was afraid to tell you about it. Your mother's gonna love me!. 679 00:53:01,431 --> 00:53:03,767 Marie, are you awake? 680 00:53:05,811 --> 00:53:07,021 Good. 681 00:53:08,897 --> 00:53:11,149 You look so beautiful and peaceful... 682 00:53:11,358 --> 00:53:13,110 ...you almost look dead. 683 00:53:16,071 --> 00:53:17,656 I'm glad because... 684 00:53:17,906 --> 00:53:21,952 ...there's something l want to say that's always been difficult for me to say. 685 00:53:23,912 --> 00:53:27,541 I slit the sheet, the sheet l slit and on the slitted sheet l sit. 686 00:53:30,169 --> 00:53:33,964 I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to be able to say that. 687 00:53:34,923 --> 00:53:37,259 You give me confidence in myself. 688 00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:42,765 I know we've only known each other for four weeks and three days... 689 00:53:43,098 --> 00:53:47,227 ...but to me, it seems like nine weeks and five days. 690 00:53:49,021 --> 00:53:51,774 The first day seemed like a week. 691 00:53:52,399 --> 00:53:55,944 And the second day seemed like five days. 692 00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:58,989 And the third day seemed like a week again. 693 00:53:59,281 --> 00:54:02,659 And the fourth day seemed like eight days. 694 00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:06,455 But the fifth day you went to see your mother... 695 00:54:06,747 --> 00:54:09,250 ...and that seemed just like a day. 696 00:54:09,583 --> 00:54:12,795 But then you came back, and later... 697 00:54:13,295 --> 00:54:16,423 ...on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other... 698 00:54:16,548 --> 00:54:20,427 ...that started seeming like two days. 699 00:54:20,886 --> 00:54:24,515 So in the evening, it seemed like two days spilling into the next day... 700 00:54:24,598 --> 00:54:29,269 ...and that started seeming like four days. So, at the end of the sixth day... 701 00:54:29,353 --> 00:54:33,232 ...on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. 702 00:54:33,941 --> 00:54:39,321 And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. 703 00:54:40,906 --> 00:54:45,577 I have it written down, but l can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it. 704 00:54:46,245 --> 00:54:50,291 Anyway, l've decided that tomorrow... 705 00:54:50,999 --> 00:54:56,087 ...when the time is right, l'm going to ask you to marry me. 706 00:54:58,298 --> 00:55:02,260 If that's okay with you, just don't say anything. 707 00:55:07,015 --> 00:55:09,100 You've made me very happy. 708 00:55:16,650 --> 00:55:21,822 "Oh, l'll see you again 709 00:55:22,030 --> 00:55:26,785 "Whenever spring breaks through again" 710 00:55:27,244 --> 00:55:28,787 Honey, sing!. 711 00:55:31,123 --> 00:55:34,335 "Time may lie heavy between 712 00:55:34,668 --> 00:55:36,753 "But what has been 713 00:55:36,795 --> 00:55:40,424 "ls past forgetting 714 00:55:40,924 --> 00:55:45,178 "This sweet memory 715 00:55:45,220 --> 00:55:51,017 "Across the years will come to me 716 00:55:51,727 --> 00:55:56,023 "Though my world may go awry 717 00:55:56,732 --> 00:56:01,445 "ln my heart will ever lie 718 00:56:02,321 --> 00:56:06,992 "Just the echo of a sigh 719 00:56:10,787 --> 00:56:12,414 "Good-bye" 720 00:56:13,248 --> 00:56:17,043 Honey, who's the happiest guy in the world? 721 00:56:18,253 --> 00:56:19,379 You are!. 722 00:56:19,963 --> 00:56:24,134 That's right!. And who's the happiest gal? 723 00:56:26,428 --> 00:56:28,263 That's right. 724 00:56:28,305 --> 00:56:31,934 Honey, guess what? l wrote a song for you this morning: 725 00:56:32,059 --> 00:56:36,647 "Oh, l'm picking out a thermos for you 726 00:56:36,730 --> 00:56:40,525 "Not an ordinary thermos for you 727 00:56:40,692 --> 00:56:44,487 "But the extra best thermos you can buy 728 00:56:44,613 --> 00:56:48,158 "With vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in 729 00:56:48,242 --> 00:56:52,204 "l'm picking out a thermos for you 730 00:56:52,287 --> 00:56:55,582 "And maybe a barometer too 731 00:56:55,666 --> 00:56:59,670 "And what else can l buy so on me you'll rely 732 00:56:59,711 --> 00:57:02,464 "A rear-end thermometer too" 733 00:57:02,506 --> 00:57:06,635 Honey!. There's a question l've been wanting to pop but... 734 00:57:06,718 --> 00:57:08,970 ...l've been afraid you'd say no. 735 00:57:09,263 --> 00:57:13,768 But this seems like the right time and place, so here goes. 736 00:57:14,768 --> 00:57:17,688 Honey, will you marry me? 737 00:57:21,275 --> 00:57:25,946 Come on, let's seal it with a kiss!. Get in the tub with me!. 738 00:57:27,072 --> 00:57:29,950 Not you, Shithead. Where's Marie? 739 00:57:31,118 --> 00:57:32,536 What letter? 740 00:57:40,377 --> 00:57:42,045 "Dear...." 741 00:57:58,979 --> 00:58:00,647 Marie!. 742 00:58:01,315 --> 00:58:04,777 Shithead!. Come here!. Good idea!. 743 00:58:06,778 --> 00:58:08,071 Why did you leave me? 744 00:58:08,113 --> 00:58:10,907 I couldn't read the letter!. It was too blurry!. 745 00:58:13,535 --> 00:58:14,828 Here, boy. 746 00:58:21,418 --> 00:58:23,420 Where are you? 747 00:58:40,062 --> 00:58:42,231 This is not going to be easy, Shithead. 748 00:58:43,482 --> 00:58:45,651 We've been together a long time. 749 00:58:46,276 --> 00:58:48,779 But l've got to head down that road. 750 00:58:50,113 --> 00:58:54,326 There'll be times out there when there won't be enough food for two. 751 00:58:54,576 --> 00:58:56,078 And l won't be able to-- 752 00:58:56,703 --> 00:58:58,205 Wait a minute. 753 00:58:58,247 --> 00:58:59,707 I'm not done yet. 754 00:58:59,748 --> 00:59:01,750 Come back, l'm not finished. 755 00:59:01,834 --> 00:59:03,753 I have some more to tell ya. 756 00:59:06,421 --> 00:59:09,174 You'll find a family who can give you a real home... 757 00:59:09,216 --> 00:59:12,428 ...with loving kids and a warm fireplace. 758 00:59:12,803 --> 00:59:14,805 I never liked you, anyway. 759 00:59:14,972 --> 00:59:17,141 Now get out of here!. 760 00:59:17,850 --> 00:59:21,062 Okay, okay!. You win!. You can go with me. 761 00:59:25,107 --> 00:59:28,569 "And so, Mom, with my faithful dog leading the way... 762 00:59:28,986 --> 00:59:31,739 "...l'm out to win the hand ofMarie. 763 00:59:31,822 --> 00:59:37,077 "You'd love her, Mom. She looksjust like you, except she's white and blonde. 764 00:59:37,536 --> 00:59:41,081 "So, to win her back, l've vowed to make something of myself. 765 00:59:41,123 --> 00:59:45,711 "l settled in Los Angeles, took the money l saved and rented my fiirst apartment. 766 00:59:46,378 --> 00:59:48,297 "l haven't heard from Marie. 767 00:59:49,256 --> 00:59:53,218 "Things couldn't be worse. I can only send you 49 cents this week..." 768 00:59:53,260 --> 00:59:56,096 -Bless his heart. -That's a good boy. 769 00:59:56,138 --> 00:59:58,849 "...as l've lost all my jobs. 770 00:59:59,266 --> 01:00:03,395 "l've been eating well. The hospital gives out free orange juice and cookies... 771 01:00:03,437 --> 01:00:06,398 "...and all l have to do is give them a pint of blood. 772 01:00:06,899 --> 01:00:10,361 "l ate there all week, three times a day." 773 01:00:10,444 --> 01:00:11,403 Pint of blood? 774 01:00:11,445 --> 01:00:16,200 "l quit when l cut myself shaving and nothing came out but air. 775 01:00:17,701 --> 01:00:22,206 "l have to go now as someone is staring at me through binoculars. 776 01:00:22,247 --> 01:00:24,166 "Your loving son, Navin." 777 01:00:27,669 --> 01:00:29,421 It's him. 778 01:00:36,386 --> 01:00:37,596 Him. 779 01:00:42,434 --> 01:00:46,146 What's him doing here? Shithead!. Shithead!. 780 01:00:47,397 --> 01:00:49,524 Attack!. Attack!. 781 01:00:50,776 --> 01:00:52,569 Not me!. 782 01:00:54,112 --> 01:00:56,072 Get off, Shithead!. 783 01:01:54,631 --> 01:01:56,967 You're going to have to sign for this. 784 01:01:59,469 --> 01:02:01,805 I have to sign before you shoot me? 785 01:02:01,930 --> 01:02:04,015 I'm not gonna shoot ya!. 786 01:02:05,225 --> 01:02:07,894 -Why not? -That was the old me. 787 01:02:07,936 --> 01:02:10,355 I was a little mixed up at that time. 788 01:02:10,439 --> 01:02:14,068 Had a bad marriage, and l just gave up smoking. 789 01:02:14,318 --> 01:02:16,070 I'm okay now. 790 01:02:17,154 --> 01:02:19,156 I'm a private detective. 791 01:02:26,371 --> 01:02:28,790 -So long. -Thank you. 792 01:02:36,924 --> 01:02:39,176 "Dear Mr. Johnson... 793 01:02:40,052 --> 01:02:42,471 "...please call on me, in Suite... 794 01:02:43,722 --> 01:02:47,517 "...2655 at the Century Plaza Tower... 795 01:02:47,976 --> 01:02:49,478 "...in Los Angeles. 796 01:02:50,479 --> 01:02:55,484 "l have something ofgreat importance to impart to you." 797 01:02:56,276 --> 01:02:58,862 Navin!. Remember me? 798 01:02:59,863 --> 01:03:02,532 -No, but don't feel bad. -Fox. 799 01:03:03,909 --> 01:03:05,661 Stan Fox!. 800 01:03:05,702 --> 01:03:07,954 Remember the gas station? 801 01:03:08,121 --> 01:03:12,542 Boy, you are one hard guy to find!. 802 01:03:15,379 --> 01:03:17,047 You don't remember me. 803 01:03:18,799 --> 01:03:21,135 The glasses handle!. Look!. 804 01:03:23,303 --> 01:03:24,679 Yeah. 805 01:03:25,138 --> 01:03:27,891 -My glasses handle. -Use the Opti-Grab. 806 01:03:28,392 --> 01:03:31,312 -"Opti-Grab"? -Yeah, we call it Opti-Grab. 807 01:03:31,395 --> 01:03:34,106 -Opti-Grab. -"Opti," from the eye... 808 01:03:34,189 --> 01:03:36,983 ...and "grab," from where you grab it!. 809 01:03:37,276 --> 01:03:39,195 Opti-grabbing it!. 810 01:03:39,236 --> 01:03:41,238 Navin, my boy, we're in business!. 811 01:03:41,446 --> 01:03:44,282 Fifty-fifty, just like we said. 812 01:03:44,408 --> 01:03:47,453 Right in here l have your first check... 813 01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:50,914 ...for two hundred and fifty big ones. 814 01:03:51,456 --> 01:03:53,083 Two-fifty? 815 01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:56,628 That's just the beginning. There's gonna be more. Lots more!. 816 01:03:56,962 --> 01:03:58,589 Can l cash this? 817 01:03:58,672 --> 01:04:02,843 You can do whatever you like. It's your money. It's a cashier's check. 818 01:04:03,218 --> 01:04:04,720 I can use money!. 819 01:04:05,095 --> 01:04:10,183 Yes, l have a cashier's check, and l'd like to cash it. 820 01:04:10,309 --> 01:04:12,144 How much is it for? 821 01:04:12,269 --> 01:04:16,690 Two hundred and fifty big ones. 822 01:04:20,819 --> 01:04:24,031 Two hundred and fifty dollareenies. 823 01:04:26,491 --> 01:04:30,286 That's two hundred and fifty doughnuts. 824 01:04:33,081 --> 01:04:34,749 You want to cash this? 825 01:04:34,917 --> 01:04:37,336 Well, l could take fifty of the doughnuts... 826 01:04:37,419 --> 01:04:40,464 ...and deposit the other two-hundred beauties. 827 01:04:40,589 --> 01:04:44,468 -Have a seat, Mr. Johnson. -Thank you. 828 01:04:45,677 --> 01:04:47,929 I will need two pieces of identification. 829 01:04:48,013 --> 01:04:53,018 Yes. I have my temporary driver's license... 830 01:04:54,228 --> 01:04:58,399 ...and my astronaut application form. 831 01:04:59,566 --> 01:05:03,445 I didn't pass that, though. I failed everything but the date of birth. 832 01:05:03,570 --> 01:05:05,238 Didn't get the job. 833 01:05:05,405 --> 01:05:09,993 Everything's in order. If you'll just endorse this there. 834 01:05:10,619 --> 01:05:12,287 -I need a pen. -Pen. Okay. 835 01:05:12,371 --> 01:05:14,456 -Right here. -Thank you. 836 01:05:15,832 --> 01:05:19,127 Fill out this deposit slip right there. 837 01:05:19,670 --> 01:05:23,632 The endorsing and filling out of the deposit slip. 838 01:05:23,924 --> 01:05:28,053 Two-hundred and fifty... 839 01:05:28,387 --> 01:05:30,389 ...thousand-- 840 01:05:42,317 --> 01:05:45,195 "Dear Harry, guess what? 841 01:05:45,279 --> 01:05:47,448 "l'm rich beyond my wildest dreams. 842 01:05:47,656 --> 01:05:51,451 "But l haven't forgotten our deal. Here's that postcard l promised you. 843 01:05:51,535 --> 01:05:54,204 "l bet you thought you'd never get it. 844 01:05:54,329 --> 01:05:56,581 "Your friend forever, Navin." 845 01:05:56,790 --> 01:05:58,417 How do you like that? 846 01:05:58,709 --> 01:06:01,670 He promised me a postcard, and he sent me a postcard. 847 01:06:02,379 --> 01:06:03,964 Kid has integrity. 848 01:06:22,107 --> 01:06:24,276 Shithead, come on. 849 01:06:38,790 --> 01:06:41,543 Hello? Yes? 850 01:06:42,169 --> 01:06:45,047 Who? Mrs. Kimball? 851 01:06:46,798 --> 01:06:48,550 You're Marie's mom!. 852 01:06:49,343 --> 01:06:51,512 You read about me in the paper? 853 01:06:51,553 --> 01:06:54,306 I've been trying to reach her, l don't know where she is. 854 01:06:54,348 --> 01:06:56,517 I'd give anything to find out. 855 01:06:57,518 --> 01:06:59,437 Well, that sounds a little high. 856 01:06:59,811 --> 01:07:01,646 How about $75? 857 01:07:02,648 --> 01:07:05,359 Okay, what is it? 858 01:07:05,817 --> 01:07:08,403 The May Company in Los Angeles. 859 01:07:08,445 --> 01:07:11,740 Shithead!. I know where she is!. I know where she is!. 860 01:07:11,949 --> 01:07:14,118 Now, doesn't that feel good? 861 01:07:17,246 --> 01:07:19,749 There now, we are complete. 862 01:07:21,917 --> 01:07:24,420 Putting on Mask-O-Derm just took a few minutes... 863 01:07:24,503 --> 01:07:27,214 ...and when we peel it off he'll look 20 years younger. 864 01:07:27,256 --> 01:07:28,799 Alevai. 865 01:07:28,841 --> 01:07:30,593 Yes, exactly. 866 01:07:30,634 --> 01:07:36,098 Now, we'll let this dry. In the meantime, we can pick out an eye shadow and lip tint. 867 01:07:36,139 --> 01:07:38,224 Everyone follow me this way... 868 01:07:38,267 --> 01:07:41,979 ...because this is a very interesting line. I think you'll enjoy this. 869 01:07:42,020 --> 01:07:46,775 With your husband's coloring, a deep tone would bring out his lips. 870 01:07:46,817 --> 01:07:51,155 This Nature Beige will feature his eyes just wonderfully. 871 01:07:51,238 --> 01:07:53,157 Let's try everything. 872 01:07:56,159 --> 01:07:57,452 What? 873 01:07:59,329 --> 01:08:03,458 Let's go unmask lrving. Everyone, back this way. 874 01:08:03,667 --> 01:08:06,962 We are now going to peel off our Mask-O-Derm. 875 01:08:07,045 --> 01:08:11,550 Irving's skin will be tighter, firmer and he'll look like a different man. 876 01:08:11,592 --> 01:08:13,511 You'll be amazed. 877 01:08:13,927 --> 01:08:16,012 Get ready, lrving!. 878 01:08:30,485 --> 01:08:33,530 This shit really worked. 879 01:08:40,370 --> 01:08:42,455 My sweetheart. 880 01:08:42,915 --> 01:08:45,918 What are you doing to my husband, you Miss Blondie? 881 01:08:45,959 --> 01:08:48,295 Irving, are you crazy? 882 01:08:48,378 --> 01:08:51,673 "Dear Mom, the big news is: Marie and l were married. 883 01:08:51,757 --> 01:08:53,300 "We couldn't wait. 884 01:08:53,342 --> 01:08:58,806 "We found someone at the Hollywood View Apartments who could do it immediately. 885 01:08:58,847 --> 01:09:01,099 "He was a certifiiedpriest. 886 01:09:03,769 --> 01:09:06,272 "We were both glad we had a religious wedding. 887 01:09:06,772 --> 01:09:09,275 "Money hasn't changed our lives that much. 888 01:09:09,525 --> 01:09:13,237 "Our one little extravagance is a live-in butler and housekeeper." 889 01:09:13,362 --> 01:09:17,491 -Another check!. -Just as l thought. 890 01:09:17,533 --> 01:09:20,911 Look at that. Nearly $750,000. 891 01:09:20,994 --> 01:09:25,582 With this kind of income, you could buy a larger house with servants' quarters. 892 01:09:25,916 --> 01:09:30,045 "Well, Mom, remember my dream of owning a big house on a hill... 893 01:09:30,128 --> 01:09:35,133 "...and how l used to wish for a living room with a plaster lion in it from Mexico? 894 01:09:35,175 --> 01:09:38,887 "And how l always wanted a large 24-seat dining table... 895 01:09:38,971 --> 01:09:44,477 "...in a dining room with original paintings by Michelangelo and Rembrandt? 896 01:09:44,768 --> 01:09:47,354 "And remember how l always wanted a rotating bed... 897 01:09:47,396 --> 01:09:50,441 "...with pink chiffon and zebra stripes? 898 01:09:50,524 --> 01:09:53,360 "And remember how l used to chitchat with dad about... 899 01:09:53,443 --> 01:09:56,655 "...always wanting a bathtub shaped like a clam... 900 01:09:56,780 --> 01:09:59,700 "...and an offiice with orange and white stripes? 901 01:09:59,741 --> 01:10:04,663 "Remember how much l wanted an all red billiard room with a giant stuffed camel... 902 01:10:04,788 --> 01:10:08,625 "...and how l wanted a disco room with my own disco dancers... 903 01:10:08,750 --> 01:10:11,628 "...and a party room with fancy friends? 904 01:10:12,337 --> 01:10:16,049 "And remember how much l wanted a big backyard with Grecian statues... 905 01:10:16,133 --> 01:10:18,886 "...S-shaped hedges, and three swimming pools? 906 01:10:18,927 --> 01:10:21,012 "Well, l got that too. 907 01:10:23,515 --> 01:10:26,018 "Marie and l are getting along swell... 908 01:10:26,351 --> 01:10:30,063 "...but l've got a lot to learn about handling my money and banks. 909 01:10:30,397 --> 01:10:32,232 "You have to be careful. 910 01:10:33,901 --> 01:10:35,653 "Poor Hobart. 911 01:10:35,777 --> 01:10:38,905 "His dear wife Hester took money out of her savings account... 912 01:10:38,947 --> 01:10:42,325 "...and had to pay a substantial penalty for early withdrawal. 913 01:10:46,997 --> 01:10:50,292 "Enclosed is this week's check. Love, Navin." 914 01:10:51,084 --> 01:10:53,253 Sorry about your wife, Hobart. 915 01:10:53,295 --> 01:10:55,631 Federal regulations, sir. 916 01:10:56,256 --> 01:10:57,632 Dear me. 917 01:10:57,841 --> 01:11:02,137 Your wife has given you another gold chain. 918 01:11:02,971 --> 01:11:04,806 I'd nearly forgotten. 919 01:11:05,140 --> 01:11:08,685 I suppose l'm still not quite over Hester's death. 920 01:11:08,769 --> 01:11:10,688 Well, these things take time. 921 01:11:10,771 --> 01:11:12,940 Yes, so l'm told. 922 01:11:12,981 --> 01:11:16,943 Here's your drink, sir. Like the one you saw in the magazine. 923 01:11:17,027 --> 01:11:19,530 You got the bamboo umbrella and everything. 924 01:11:22,950 --> 01:11:26,162 See that? "Be somebody." 925 01:11:28,914 --> 01:11:31,500 Very good, sir. Very good. 926 01:11:34,211 --> 01:11:37,047 There are some charity people here to see you, sir. 927 01:11:37,089 --> 01:11:39,883 No!. Send them away!. 928 01:11:39,925 --> 01:11:42,428 There's a lot of people more deserving than me!. 929 01:11:42,511 --> 01:11:45,514 But these people want you to give. 930 01:11:50,227 --> 01:11:51,353 Okay. 931 01:11:51,436 --> 01:11:54,981 My name is Father Carlos Las Vegas De Cordoba. 932 01:11:55,649 --> 01:11:58,235 Father, you seem like a religious man. 933 01:11:58,694 --> 01:12:00,154 How can l help you? 934 01:12:00,195 --> 01:12:04,074 By giving me three minutes of your time so that you can see some film... 935 01:12:04,116 --> 01:12:07,661 ...of a great ugliness that is spreading in my country. 936 01:12:08,579 --> 01:12:11,457 God. I'll bet it's disgusting. 937 01:12:12,332 --> 01:12:14,251 -Hobart? -Yes, sir? 938 01:12:14,334 --> 01:12:16,837 Are you over your grief enough to dim the lights? 939 01:12:16,879 --> 01:12:20,591 Of course, sir. One can't mourn forever. 940 01:12:20,799 --> 01:12:23,844 You will not believe what you are about to see... 941 01:12:24,428 --> 01:12:27,181 ...that human beings could have sunk so low... 942 01:12:27,222 --> 01:12:31,184 ...that they can take pleasure to do this to another of God's creatures. 943 01:12:31,310 --> 01:12:33,896 I hope you have a strong stomach, senor. 944 01:12:34,021 --> 01:12:35,523 Roll the ugliness. 945 01:13:14,645 --> 01:13:18,941 Good Lord. I've heard about this. Cat juggling. 946 01:13:38,544 --> 01:13:41,672 Stop it, stop it, stop it!. 947 01:13:42,589 --> 01:13:43,757 Good. 948 01:13:44,675 --> 01:13:49,096 Father, could there be a God that would let this happen? 949 01:13:50,180 --> 01:13:52,099 How much do you want? 950 01:13:52,224 --> 01:13:56,019 If your initial investment is $500,000... 951 01:13:56,144 --> 01:13:58,897 ...and your apartments are up in March... 952 01:13:58,981 --> 01:14:03,319 ...you should have "x" amount of dollars rolling in by the end of this year. 953 01:14:03,861 --> 01:14:06,572 "x" amount. That's very good, isn't it? 954 01:14:06,613 --> 01:14:09,991 You can depreciate the entire building for the full amount. 955 01:14:10,117 --> 01:14:12,995 Depreciate!. Very good. I like that. 956 01:14:13,036 --> 01:14:16,081 And we've found a way to get around this fair housing crap. 957 01:14:16,290 --> 01:14:19,084 Good!. Getting around the crap. That's good. 958 01:14:19,877 --> 01:14:23,422 By keeping the rents high, we'll appeal to a select class of people. 959 01:14:23,505 --> 01:14:25,507 Select class. Very good. 960 01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:28,719 We'll keep the eggplants out. 961 01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:31,263 Good. We don't want any vegetables. 962 01:14:31,346 --> 01:14:33,515 No. The jungle bunnies!. 963 01:14:33,724 --> 01:14:36,227 Of course. They'll eat the vegetables. 964 01:14:36,768 --> 01:14:39,104 Boss, could l talk to him? 965 01:14:39,646 --> 01:14:41,815 We're gonna keep out the niggers. 966 01:14:42,482 --> 01:14:43,525 The what? 967 01:14:43,609 --> 01:14:45,778 The niggers. We'll keep 'em out. 968 01:14:46,361 --> 01:14:47,654 -Yes. -Sir... 969 01:14:48,405 --> 01:14:50,908 ...you are talking to a nigger!. 970 01:15:38,205 --> 01:15:40,374 Don't be so hard on yourself. 971 01:15:40,457 --> 01:15:43,502 How could you know that was "lron Balls" McGinty? 972 01:15:44,294 --> 01:15:46,213 Escargot. Salad. 973 01:15:47,589 --> 01:15:50,634 Would Monsieur care for another bottle of the Château Latour. 974 01:15:50,717 --> 01:15:53,053 Yes, but no more 1966. 975 01:15:53,136 --> 01:15:56,181 Let's splurge. Bring us some fresh wine. 976 01:15:56,223 --> 01:15:57,725 The freshest you've got. 977 01:15:57,766 --> 01:16:00,352 This year's. No more of this old stuff. 978 01:16:01,520 --> 01:16:03,022 Oui, Monsieur. 979 01:16:03,480 --> 01:16:07,109 He doesn't realize he's dealing with sophisticated people here. 980 01:16:07,609 --> 01:16:09,361 Marie, just stay calm. 981 01:16:09,736 --> 01:16:10,946 Don't look down. 982 01:16:11,029 --> 01:16:14,908 Don't look down. Look up. Keep your eyes up and keep 'em that way. 983 01:16:15,075 --> 01:16:16,118 Waiter. 984 01:16:18,620 --> 01:16:21,206 There are snails on her plate. 985 01:16:23,750 --> 01:16:26,503 Now get them out of here before she sees them!. 986 01:16:26,712 --> 01:16:28,881 Look away!. Keep your eyes that way!. 987 01:16:29,631 --> 01:16:33,885 You'd think at a fancy restaurant like this you'd be able to keep the snails... 988 01:16:33,927 --> 01:16:35,762 ...off the food!. 989 01:16:35,804 --> 01:16:38,807 There are so many snails in there you can't see the food. 990 01:16:38,849 --> 01:16:42,644 Remove them!. Bring me the cheese sandwich appetizers you talked me out of. 991 01:16:42,728 --> 01:16:44,271 Oui, Monsieur. 992 01:16:45,522 --> 01:16:46,982 Can you believe this? 993 01:16:47,024 --> 01:16:50,861 First they didn't have umbrellas for the wine, now snails on the food. 994 01:16:50,986 --> 01:16:53,864 Two boobs. That's what he takes us for. 995 01:17:05,584 --> 01:17:07,836 -Hi, honey. -Hi, doll face. 996 01:17:07,878 --> 01:17:09,171 Everything okay? 997 01:17:09,296 --> 01:17:13,383 Remember how you told me to take unnecessary lessons? 998 01:17:13,509 --> 01:17:15,678 Well, l just took a lesson. 999 01:17:15,802 --> 01:17:18,346 And a very good student too. Adios, senora. 1000 01:17:19,097 --> 01:17:20,932 You took bullfighting? 1001 01:17:20,974 --> 01:17:23,143 No. Knife-throwing. 1002 01:17:24,478 --> 01:17:26,063 Knife-throwing's great!. 1003 01:17:26,104 --> 01:17:29,566 -I can almost do it. -Well, let me see your stuff!. 1004 01:17:29,691 --> 01:17:30,984 Okay. 1005 01:17:32,194 --> 01:17:34,530 This is very good for a beginner. 1006 01:17:36,782 --> 01:17:39,285 This is exciting. I love this!. 1007 01:17:39,952 --> 01:17:41,412 Come on!. 1008 01:17:42,663 --> 01:17:44,832 -Turn sideways... -Okay. 1009 01:17:45,082 --> 01:17:47,334 ...and put a balloon in your mouth. 1010 01:17:47,918 --> 01:17:49,586 Do you have a balloon? 1011 01:17:50,295 --> 01:17:53,131 No. Wait. Yes!. 1012 01:17:54,591 --> 01:17:55,550 Okay. 1013 01:17:56,677 --> 01:17:58,262 Is it in your mouth? 1014 01:17:58,345 --> 01:18:01,265 Throw 'em good and hard, so they'll stick. 1015 01:18:02,516 --> 01:18:03,809 Okay. 1016 01:18:07,062 --> 01:18:08,272 One... 1017 01:18:09,064 --> 01:18:10,440 ...two... 1018 01:18:11,608 --> 01:18:12,818 ...three!. 1019 01:18:13,694 --> 01:18:15,070 Four, five, six!. 1020 01:18:19,867 --> 01:18:21,327 I missed. 1021 01:18:21,577 --> 01:18:23,245 Honey, you did good. 1022 01:18:23,829 --> 01:18:26,165 I can't do anything right. 1023 01:18:27,040 --> 01:18:29,834 Honey, you worry too much. 1024 01:18:31,003 --> 01:18:34,798 Come on. Let's flop this over and look at it another way. 1025 01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:37,843 Do you realize that in the past two short months... 1026 01:18:37,885 --> 01:18:43,391 ...we have acquired the sophistication it takes some people a lifetime to acquire? 1027 01:18:43,640 --> 01:18:45,183 Come on!. 1028 01:18:45,601 --> 01:18:47,228 Let's toast!. 1029 01:19:44,785 --> 01:19:48,497 Everybody, Navin's on TV. Marie, it's Navin!. 1030 01:19:48,705 --> 01:19:51,625 Look, honey, here's that interview you did on TV. 1031 01:19:51,875 --> 01:19:53,543 Shut off the music!. 1032 01:19:54,711 --> 01:19:57,505 Everyone, we're going to watch Navin on the TV. 1033 01:19:57,548 --> 01:20:00,926 Sit down, sit down. On the floor. Sit around. 1034 01:20:01,385 --> 01:20:04,263 American Time news magazine turns its probing eye... 1035 01:20:04,304 --> 01:20:07,432 ...on Navin Johnson, the inventor ofthe Opti-Grab... 1036 01:20:07,641 --> 01:20:12,146 ...that little glasses handle that sold 10 million units in a few short months. 1037 01:20:12,980 --> 01:20:17,276 Mr. Johnson, you've become a millionaire overnight. Who are you? 1038 01:20:18,986 --> 01:20:21,071 Who is Navin Johnson? 1039 01:20:22,155 --> 01:20:25,533 Navin is a complex personality, as are most ofthe... 1040 01:20:25,576 --> 01:20:29,288 ...small breed of modern-day renaissance millionaires. 1041 01:20:29,872 --> 01:20:33,167 We hadplanned to show you the entire Johnson interview. 1042 01:20:33,333 --> 01:20:37,128 However, when we returned to our studio, our news department informed us... 1043 01:20:37,212 --> 01:20:40,590 ...ofa sensational development in the Johnson story. 1044 01:20:40,841 --> 01:20:43,344 It seems that an irate group of citizens... 1045 01:20:43,385 --> 01:20:46,221 ...led by the celebrity, Mr. Carl Reiner... 1046 01:20:46,263 --> 01:20:50,476 ...has fiiled a class action suit against Mr. Johnson and his Opti-Grab. 1047 01:20:50,809 --> 01:20:53,937 Here's what Mr. Reiner had to say at a press conference: 1048 01:20:54,021 --> 01:20:57,399 When Opti-Grab came out l thought it was the greatest thing ever. 1049 01:20:57,441 --> 01:21:01,070 And l bought a pair. And this is the result. 1050 01:21:02,571 --> 01:21:06,450 This little handle is like a magnet. Your eyes are drawn to it... 1051 01:21:06,658 --> 01:21:08,743 ...and you end up cockeyed. 1052 01:21:09,161 --> 01:21:12,456 Now, as a director, l am constantly using my eyes... 1053 01:21:12,581 --> 01:21:16,835 ...and this Opti-Grab device has caused irreparable harm to my career. 1054 01:21:16,919 --> 01:21:19,338 Let me show you a clip from my latest fiilm... 1055 01:21:19,379 --> 01:21:24,050 ...where my faulty depth perception kept me from yelling "cut" at the right time. 1056 01:21:27,387 --> 01:21:28,346 Cut! 1057 01:21:37,189 --> 01:21:41,860 Ifl had yelled "cut" on time, those actors would be alive today. 1058 01:21:42,569 --> 01:21:46,990 That's why l am spearheading the $10 million class action suit... 1059 01:21:47,074 --> 01:21:50,953 ...against Mr. Johnson, and his irresponsible selling ofa product... 1060 01:21:50,994 --> 01:21:53,663 ...he didn't even test on prisoners! 1061 01:21:54,581 --> 01:21:57,167 -Thank you. -Party's over!. 1062 01:22:00,212 --> 01:22:02,297 Wait a second. Where you going? 1063 01:22:03,465 --> 01:22:06,218 I'm gonna get in touch with that Reiner guy. 1064 01:22:07,427 --> 01:22:09,679 I got some change upstairs. 1065 01:22:09,721 --> 01:22:12,766 We'll get some potato chips and there's some beer up there. 1066 01:22:12,808 --> 01:22:14,977 We'll make it a less formal thing. 1067 01:22:16,603 --> 01:22:18,688 Let's find another party. 1068 01:22:21,692 --> 01:22:24,820 Honey!. Why the gloom? 1069 01:22:24,945 --> 01:22:27,197 This is not the end of the rainbow. 1070 01:22:28,657 --> 01:22:30,826 I'm Navin Johnson, inventor!. 1071 01:22:30,951 --> 01:22:33,996 This is no big deal. This is a parking ticket to me. 1072 01:22:34,371 --> 01:22:37,249 Only instead of $5, it's $10 million. 1073 01:22:38,584 --> 01:22:41,712 I don't care about losing all the money. 1074 01:22:42,004 --> 01:22:44,715 It's losing all the stuff. 1075 01:22:45,883 --> 01:22:48,135 We're not gonna lose the stuff. 1076 01:22:49,469 --> 01:22:51,304 This is America!. 1077 01:22:51,346 --> 01:22:55,308 We're going to receive a fair trial from an impartial jury!. 1078 01:22:56,768 --> 01:23:00,230 Your honor, we, the jury, find for the plaintiff. 1079 01:23:05,569 --> 01:23:08,280 I award to Mr. Reiner... 1080 01:23:08,822 --> 01:23:10,824 ...and the other 9 million... 1081 01:23:10,991 --> 01:23:13,744 ...987 thousand... 1082 01:23:13,827 --> 01:23:16,288 ...652 plaintiffs... 1083 01:23:16,914 --> 01:23:18,999 ...the full amount of the suit. 1084 01:23:20,959 --> 01:23:22,836 Court is adjourned. 1085 01:23:29,134 --> 01:23:32,137 -Navin. -Honey, can't you see l'm drinking? 1086 01:23:39,269 --> 01:23:41,605 Pay to the order of... 1087 01:23:42,564 --> 01:23:44,900 ...Mrs. Wilbur Stark... 1088 01:23:46,235 --> 01:23:48,738 ...one dollar and nine cents. 1089 01:24:05,295 --> 01:24:07,214 Pay to the order of... 1090 01:24:08,298 --> 01:24:11,218 ..."lron Balls" McGinty... 1091 01:24:12,636 --> 01:24:15,139 ...one dollar and nine cents. 1092 01:24:17,099 --> 01:24:20,477 Why are you crying? And why are you wearing that old dress? 1093 01:24:20,561 --> 01:24:24,899 Because l just heard a song on the radio that reminded me of the way we were. 1094 01:24:25,190 --> 01:24:27,943 -What was it? -The Way We Were. 1095 01:24:28,485 --> 01:24:31,154 Look at us. We've hit bottom. 1096 01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:35,367 No!. Maybe you've hit bottom, but l haven't hit bottom yet!. 1097 01:24:35,742 --> 01:24:37,244 I got a ways to go!. 1098 01:24:38,537 --> 01:24:41,582 I'm gonna bounce back, and when l do... 1099 01:24:42,040 --> 01:24:45,502 ...l'm gonna buy you a diamond so big... 1100 01:24:45,544 --> 01:24:47,963 ...it's gonna make you puke!. 1101 01:24:48,589 --> 01:24:52,551 I don't want to puke!. I don't want wealth!. 1102 01:24:52,968 --> 01:24:56,180 I just want you like you used to be. 1103 01:24:56,388 --> 01:24:58,390 What happened to that man? 1104 01:24:58,599 --> 01:24:59,892 Me? 1105 01:25:00,392 --> 01:25:02,978 What happened to the girl l believed in? 1106 01:25:03,604 --> 01:25:05,606 The girl l fell in love with? 1107 01:25:05,647 --> 01:25:07,649 The girl that believed in me? 1108 01:25:09,318 --> 01:25:11,654 There's plenty of places l can go... 1109 01:25:11,778 --> 01:25:13,530 ...where people believe in me. 1110 01:25:13,614 --> 01:25:16,659 So go. The sooner you're out of my life... 1111 01:25:16,742 --> 01:25:20,871 ...the sooner l can go back to being the girl in this little flowered dress... 1112 01:25:20,913 --> 01:25:25,126 ...that you sang the "Thermos Song" to. 1113 01:25:25,542 --> 01:25:27,794 Well, l'm gonna go, then. 1114 01:25:28,420 --> 01:25:32,215 I don't need any of this!. I don't need this stuff!. 1115 01:25:32,257 --> 01:25:35,385 And l don't need you!. I don't need anything!. 1116 01:25:36,595 --> 01:25:38,138 Except this. 1117 01:25:38,472 --> 01:25:41,684 This ashtray. That's the only thing l need is this!. 1118 01:25:43,268 --> 01:25:45,103 I don't need this or this!. 1119 01:25:45,229 --> 01:25:46,897 Just this ashtray!. 1120 01:25:48,273 --> 01:25:50,192 And this paddle game. 1121 01:25:51,151 --> 01:25:54,279 The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all l need. 1122 01:25:54,613 --> 01:25:57,658 And this remote control. 1123 01:25:57,950 --> 01:26:02,037 The ashtray, the paddle game and the remote control. That's all l need. 1124 01:26:04,164 --> 01:26:06,083 And these matches. 1125 01:26:07,125 --> 01:26:12,130 The ashtray, these matches the remote control and the paddle ball. 1126 01:26:14,299 --> 01:26:15,675 And this lamp. 1127 01:26:17,761 --> 01:26:19,054 The ashtray... 1128 01:26:20,264 --> 01:26:24,059 ...this paddle game, the remote control... 1129 01:26:25,310 --> 01:26:27,729 ...and the lamp, and that's all l need. 1130 01:26:30,482 --> 01:26:32,401 And that's all l need, too!. 1131 01:26:33,277 --> 01:26:35,696 I don't need one other thing!. 1132 01:26:36,071 --> 01:26:38,073 Not one. I need this. 1133 01:26:40,158 --> 01:26:42,327 The paddle game, the chair... 1134 01:26:42,703 --> 01:26:46,874 ...the remote control and the matches, for sure. 1135 01:26:48,667 --> 01:26:50,836 What are you looking at? 1136 01:26:51,712 --> 01:26:55,507 What do you think l am, some kind of a jerk or something? 1137 01:27:01,930 --> 01:27:02,973 And this. 1138 01:27:05,100 --> 01:27:06,768 That's all l need. 1139 01:27:07,686 --> 01:27:12,691 Except the ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game... 1140 01:27:12,733 --> 01:27:15,527 ...this magazine and the chair. 1141 01:27:21,783 --> 01:27:25,662 I don't need one other thing. Except my dog. 1142 01:27:28,707 --> 01:27:30,626 Well, l don't need my dog. 1143 01:28:38,986 --> 01:28:41,155 So, that's it. 1144 01:28:42,281 --> 01:28:46,452 It's an old story, one you've probably heard before. 1145 01:28:48,871 --> 01:28:51,457 But l never thought it would happen to me. 1146 01:29:05,262 --> 01:29:08,557 Any of you bums ever heard of Navin R. Johnson? 1147 01:29:11,059 --> 01:29:12,561 I've heard of him. 1148 01:29:12,728 --> 01:29:14,313 Born in Mississippi? 1149 01:29:16,440 --> 01:29:18,442 The inventor of the Opti-Grab? 1150 01:29:18,692 --> 01:29:21,111 I was just telling these guys!. 1151 01:29:22,863 --> 01:29:24,281 Son!. 1152 01:29:25,657 --> 01:29:26,950 Daddy!. 1153 01:29:28,660 --> 01:29:29,619 Navin. 1154 01:29:29,828 --> 01:29:31,455 -Mama!. -My baby!. 1155 01:29:33,582 --> 01:29:35,918 I knew we'd find you!. 1156 01:29:37,628 --> 01:29:39,463 -Taj!. -Don't kiss me!. 1157 01:29:45,260 --> 01:29:47,429 I called them the night you left. 1158 01:29:48,138 --> 01:29:49,598 How'd you find me? 1159 01:29:49,640 --> 01:29:52,143 I don't know. This is the first place we looked. 1160 01:29:52,226 --> 01:29:54,770 We're taking you home and you're living with us. 1161 01:29:54,811 --> 01:29:57,230 Turns out dad's a financial genius. 1162 01:29:57,356 --> 01:30:00,484 All l did was take the money you sent home... 1163 01:30:00,567 --> 01:30:04,946 ...and embarked on a periodic investment in a no-load mutual fund. 1164 01:30:05,030 --> 01:30:08,992 He leveraged his ass deep into soy beans and cocoa futures. 1165 01:30:09,284 --> 01:30:10,660 Right on. 1166 01:30:11,703 --> 01:30:14,206 I picked out this thermos for you. 1167 01:30:18,794 --> 01:30:22,339 -I'd kiss you, but l'm so dirty. -Dirt doesn't bother me. 1168 01:30:23,841 --> 01:30:26,594 But the smell does. 1169 01:30:28,762 --> 01:30:32,641 Son, you'd better get in the back with the dog... 1170 01:30:32,724 --> 01:30:35,769 ...until we can get you hosed down. 1171 01:30:44,319 --> 01:30:48,198 -I love you, Navin!. -I love you, too!. 1172 01:30:49,533 --> 01:30:51,285 Somebody open a window!. 1173 01:30:51,535 --> 01:30:53,537 Open all the windows. 1174 01:30:55,914 --> 01:30:58,083 I was so glad to be going home. 1175 01:30:58,250 --> 01:31:00,753 I remembered the days when l sang and danced... 1176 01:31:00,794 --> 01:31:03,463 ...with my family on the porch ofthe old house. 1177 01:31:03,505 --> 01:31:07,384 But things change, and with all the additions to the family... 1178 01:31:07,634 --> 01:31:11,179 ...we had to tear down the old house, even though we loved it. 1179 01:31:11,221 --> 01:31:13,223 But we built us a bigger one. 1180 01:31:14,016 --> 01:31:16,268 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 1181 01:31:16,310 --> 01:31:18,312 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale a day 1182 01:31:18,353 --> 01:31:21,106 -"Gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 1183 01:31:21,148 --> 01:31:24,068 -"Gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale a day 1184 01:31:37,539 --> 01:31:40,125 -"Me and my buddy -"Gonna pick a bale of cotton 1185 01:31:40,209 --> 01:31:42,962 -"Well, me and my buddy -"Gonna pick a bale a day 1186 01:31:47,508 --> 01:31:49,844 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 1187 01:31:49,927 --> 01:31:52,430 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale a day 1188 01:31:56,725 --> 01:31:59,311 -"Gonna get on your knees -"And pick a bale of cotton 1189 01:31:59,353 --> 01:32:01,689 -"Gonna get on your knees -"And pick a bale a day 1190 01:32:01,730 --> 01:32:04,316 -"Gonna move all around -"And pick a bale of cotton 1191 01:32:04,358 --> 01:32:06,443 -"Gonna move all around -"Pick a bale a day 1192 01:32:06,527 --> 01:32:09,113 -"Want a barebacked man to -"Pick a bale of cotton 1193 01:32:09,196 --> 01:32:11,115 -"Want a barebacked man to -"Pick a bale a day 1194 01:32:11,156 --> 01:32:13,742 -"Jump down turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 1195 01:32:13,784 --> 01:32:16,120 -"Jump down turn around -"Pick a bale a day 1196 01:32:22,125 --> 01:32:23,710 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale of cotton 1197 01:32:23,752 --> 01:32:26,088 -"Lordy -"Pick a bale a day 1198 01:32:40,227 --> 01:32:43,355 -"You're gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale of cotton 1199 01:32:43,397 --> 01:32:46,233 -"You're gonna jump down turn around -"Pick a bale a day 1200 01:32:49,736 --> 01:32:52,155 "Lordy pick a bale of cotton 1201 01:32:52,197 --> 01:32:54,616 "Lordy pick a bale a day 1202 01:32:54,700 --> 01:32:57,203 -"Well, me and my wife -"Gonna pick a bale of cotton 1203 01:32:57,244 --> 01:32:59,663 -"Well, me and my wife -"Gonna pick a bale a day 1204 01:33:13,927 --> 01:33:16,263 -"Take it!. -"Pick a bale of cotton 1205 01:33:16,430 --> 01:33:18,849 "Pick a bale a day" 1206 01:33:20,517 --> 01:33:37,200