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How do you do?
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Mr. Rob Zombie feels it would
be a little unkind
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to present this picture without
just a word of friendly warning.
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We are about to unfold
the story of El Superbeasto,
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a man of action.
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It is one of the strangest
tales ever told.
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I think it will thrill you.
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It may shock you.
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It might even horrify you.
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So if any of you feel that you
do not care to subject your nerves
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to such a strain,
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now's your chance to, uh--
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Well, we warned you.
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All right now, bitches, listen up.
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The director's on the set.
The director is on the set!
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Howdy-doodly-doo, ladies?
Gather round, gather round.
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Big Time Movie Casting
is now in session.
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I've got a very special porno--
I mean art film-- to shoot today.
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So, time to get a-crack-a-lackin'.
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You heard him.
Get your asses a-crack-a-lackin'!
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Now just to let you know, I'm not
one of those shallow Hollywood types
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that casts based on looks.
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I'm all about pure talent.
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I want the audience to believe
in the characters,
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to experience the emotions,
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breathe in the spicy meatball man,
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as they breathe life itself.
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All right, Granny,
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tell me a little about
why I should ignore the fact
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that you're, like,
a thousand years old.
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In 1910, I attended the
Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts
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- on full scholarship, winning the...
- Next.
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...stunning portrayal of Blanche Dubois.
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Oh my God!
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I know I'm, like,
totally like a star.
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I know it!
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Perfect perfect!
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You're hired. Next.
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I dig into the inner texture
of the soul of the character
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and reflect society's issues with women
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- and their hatred of the vagina.
- Next!
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- Let me tell you--
- No.
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- I'd really like to--
- Next!
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- People make me nauseous.
- No way!
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- Hello!
- Nope.
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- Who do I have to fuck--
- No.
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- Oh, Edgar, why did you--
- Ugh!
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- I'm ready for my-- whoa!
- Next!
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Well, hello, honeypants.
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I think a good tan is as important
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as a good script, you know?
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Also, I can't really read so good,
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but I can do 300 crunches
without stopping.
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Words are so overrated.
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But on the other hand, tight abs--
so underrated.
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Oh, oh my God.
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Quiet on the set!
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Sound speeds.
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"Big Spicy Meatball Macho Man,"
take one.
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And action!
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Uh, line.
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"Mama mia, how about
some a-delicious sauce-- "
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Yeah yeah, I got it.
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Okay, and we're still rolling, mate.
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Mama mia, how about
some delicious sauce
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for the spicy a-jumbo meatballs?
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Ow! What are you,
like totally weird?
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That's, like, so hot!
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If it's not a-hot, how am I
gonna melt-a the cheese?
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Luigi, she wonder why
it is too hot.
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The cheese a-not gonna melt!
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Aw, shut up a you face.
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God!
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That's what I call a spicy meatball!
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- Oh, Luigi!
- Oh!
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- Mama mia!
- You like-a Luigi?
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Yes, a-you do!
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Mama mia!
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Ahhhh!
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How do you like-a
my canole now, eh?
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I'm gonna fill you up
with my cream!
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Oh, Mama. The big finish--
she's inside!
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Get ready!
Holy monkey!
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That wasn't in the script!
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Here we go again.
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Please tell me
that was good for focus.
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Yeah, focus was good.
We got it.
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Check that gate, baby!
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Yeah, good gate.
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That's a wrap. Make sure
you hand in your paperwork
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to Production before you leave.
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Whoo! After a hard day
of directing-slash-acting,
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there's only one way
I like to chillax.
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Titty bar!
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Now let's see.
Confidence? Check.
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Frighteningly chiseled
good looks? Check.
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Noticeable obscene bulge
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emanating from the lower region?
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What the fuck?
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A check-a-doodle-doo.
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Later, G.
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Keep it real, playa.
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Hey, I'm here to kill the bats.
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Carry on, my simpleminded,
minimum-wage friend.
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Yeah, I only kill these things
on the side.
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I got me an application in
to the Dinky Donuts.
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I know I know,
you want an autograph.
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Oh, that'd be great.
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Sorry, I don't sign.
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I feel it damages
my artistic credibility.
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- What?
- Oh, fine.
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Take a headshot, and here,
a Superbeasto bumper sticker.
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Put it on your shit car.
Now lay off!
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Cow-a-yay-ya!
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It's about time for my theme song,
don't you think?
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Maestro, if you please.
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# Left upon a darkened stair #
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# A baby thick with body hair #
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# A wrestling family
heard the cries #
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# And learned him
how to murderize #
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# He soon grew up
and up and up #
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# And now this
not-so-little pup #
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# Had found a knack
for pounding guts #
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# While pounding booze
and pounding sluts #
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# Assholes,
better watch your ass #
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# Here comes a mangler
with a mask #
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His hands are like hammers.
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Each one is too big.
All surrender.
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He renders them tenderized meat!
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Ram 'em, jam 'em,
block 'em, clock 'em!
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# El Superbeasto! #
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# El Superbeasto! #
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# El Superbeasto! #
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Oh, shit!
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Hey, man, what the hell?
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I get my hands on you, I--
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Gee, wipers--
whoo hoo hoo!
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Hiya, Beasto.
Good to see you back.
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Well, it's good to see
your back too!
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- Or should I say crack?
- Oh, Beasto!
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Nice rack, buddy.
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Houston,
we no longer have a problem.
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Time for a little
hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd.
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Get it? "The Shining"?
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Hilarious.
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A fucking comedian.
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What'll it be, Beasto?
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I ain't in the mood for
tired '80s references, man.
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Make it the Ethel Merman.
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And because I'm a man
of superior taste,
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I will take an order
of your tasty hot wings.
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Doh!
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Sorry, was this seat taken?
154
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Yello, Beasto World Enterprises.
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Beasto, I'm in position.
Operation Iron Eagle is a go.
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Yeah, that's not really gonna
work for me.
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Can we pencil this in
for next Thursday?
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- Are you in a bar?
- No, I'm not in a bar!
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I'm entering a bad cell area.
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I might lose--
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Suzy?
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That was my agent. I'm working
a whole synergy thing
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with a win-win crossover
demographic branding thing.
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You wouldn't understand.
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Achtung, blondie!
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- No running in the halls!
- Hiya!
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Take that, Aryan assholes!
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What in the name
of the Fuhrer's head--
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Gotta stay sweet.
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O.M.G.
Giant spiky iron ball?
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So cliché.
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I hate to waste you, sweetie,
but it's all in the name of freedom.
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Uh-oh.
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Feet, start moving!
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Whoa, Mama!
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I bet MacGyver never had
anything like this next to his ta-tas!
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00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:52,276
Weee!
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00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,280
Hey, Murray, baby.
Did you miss me?
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Yes, of course I missed you.
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I missed you like the stars
miss the moon.
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Murray, you need a girlfriend.
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Hmm. If only I could
think of someone.
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I was thinking--
I mean, I thought of someone--
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Hold that thought.
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We better make like
a banana and split, baby.
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Uh, okay.
187
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Hey, man, what's a girl gotta do
to get a theme song around here?
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# Suzi #
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00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:35,319
# Where you running to
with Hitler's head? #
190
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:39,490
# Watching you grow
from a little child #
191
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:43,327
# To the girl with the ass
that drives them wild #
192
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:47,706
# Did they try to
fit you in a box? #
193
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:51,460
# Cleaning up dishes
and sucking on cocks #
194
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:56,215
# Was never enough
to make you smile #
195
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,550
# What the fuck's up
with your eye? #
196
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:03,847
# But nobody cares
when you're getting' all wet #
197
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:08,060
# Something about your titties
that makes 'em forget #
198
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,520
# And you know
you got a mission #
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00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:13,774
# To waste every
shitbag you meet #
200
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,444
# Suzi X #
201
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,243
# Oh, Suzi, what have you-- #
202
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,453
# What, have you built
yourself a robot, baby? #
203
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,455
# What, have you built yourself
a horny robot #
204
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:31,458
# That can change
into all sorts of vehicles? #
205
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:36,713
# Oh, Suzi X,
the X is for X-tra bonus! #
206
00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:40,592
# I got to get into your groove. #
207
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:47,558
Hi, I'm El Superbeasto,
and I always use
208
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:51,478
- Dandruff Away shampoo...
- Wow, this is embarrassing.
209
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,897
It's my commercial.
210
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,316
On the TV, right up there.
211
00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,193
...have any more flakes
on my clothes.
212
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,362
People thought
I either didn't shower
213
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,406
or had a bad coke problem.
214
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,991
May cause anal bleeding,
penis shrinkage, migraine headaches,
215
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,909
and nipple crumbling.
216
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,745
You got a problem, Rover?
217
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,248
Go blow yourself, has-been.
218
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,167
Ooh, easy, Beasto.
219
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:17,129
Not now, darling.
I need to smash a little fuckface.
220
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,848
Oh my God, you killed him!
221
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,641
Calm down, folks.
222
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,312
You can't do any real damage
to a werewolf without silver.
223
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,568
The kid doesn't look so good.
224
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,945
No worries. He's fine.
225
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,864
Nothing to see here.
226
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,742
- Oh, silver-- not the silver.
- Back to your drinks.
227
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,620
- Oh, Beasto!
- Hey, bumper pool.
228
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:50,662
I'm next!
229
00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,047
Oh, yeah.
230
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,216
Mmm.
231
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,010
Women,
women everywhere,
232
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,471
but none of them
bear the mark.
233
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,307
My army of video voyeur bats
are everywhere,
234
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,683
and I can spy on them all!
235
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,228
I can see them in their showers,
236
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:17,564
in their boudoirs,
even on the can.
237
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:25,030
Where are you,
my future queen of evil?
238
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,616
Ah, look who is in the paper!
239
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,868
Give me that,
you silly noodle-ass!
240
00:14:29,953 --> 00:14:32,204
Steve Wachowski?
241
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:35,123
How many times do I have to
tell them it's Dr. Satan?
242
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,794
Dr. Satan!
Dr. Satan!
243
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,463
Steve Wachowski is no more.
244
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,049
There there.
Who's the big man?
245
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,634
I told them.
246
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,844
I- I- I told the editors.
247
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,264
I even legally changed my name.
248
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,641
It's not you, it's them.
249
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,060
I am evil, aren't I, Otto?
250
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:58,438
- Really really scary?
- Yes yes.
251
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,482
We all tremble
at your very name.
252
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,902
- You do?
- And by midnight tonight
253
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:06,071
so will the rest
of the world.
254
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,698
Do tell, Otto.
255
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:11,785
Tell me again how I will gain
all the sudsy powers of hell!
256
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,620
Oh God, here we go again.
257
00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:16,498
Now pay attention,
because this is serious shit.
258
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,669
# Find the woman with
the devil's mark #
259
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,170
# On her backside #
260
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,339
In the Book of Revelations
the Number of the Beast
261
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,842
Is 600 and three-score six--
oh yeah!
262
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,386
# Bring her back here
for a meatpole ride #
263
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:32,014
"Here" is an adverb of location
referring to this castle.
264
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,809
"Meatpole" is an adjective
describing the kind of ride.
265
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,145
# Make her your unholy bride #
266
00:15:38,229 --> 00:15:41,064
Marriage is a contractual union
generally recognized by society,
267
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:44,276
religion, and/or government.
In other words, legalized fucking!
268
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,903
# Then you will be
transmogrified #
269
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:50,032
Into one giant fierce
horrifying Dr. Satan
270
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:53,702
with all the
sudsy powers of hell.
271
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,704
# Backside,
meatpole ride #
272
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,040
# Unholy bride,
transmogrified #
273
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,125
# If all these things
should coincide #
274
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,377
# Y'all motherfuckers
better run and hide #
275
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,713
# From one giant, fierce,
horrifying Dr. Satan #
276
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,923
# With all the sudsy
powers of hell inside #
277
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,219
# Well, all right! #
278
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:15,724
All the sudsy powers of hell!
279
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,436
I will be kicking some
major ass, buster!
280
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,521
Hurry, Otto, to the joystick!
281
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:27,861
Ladies and gentlemen, the
Haunted Palace is proud to present--
282
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,285
Miss Velvet von Black.
283
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:44,294
# She's the girl you read about
in girlie magazines #
284
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:47,297
# While you've got your
wiener in your hand #
285
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:51,760
# She is more addictive
than a mountain of crack #
286
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,597
# Velvet, Velvet von Black #
287
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:59,184
# Every fella gives the
old thumbs up when she is near #
288
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,603
# Melons that could
feed a pack #
289
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,105
# Of bears for a year #
290
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:06,775
# Miles of tits and a garden of ass #
291
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,529
# Velvet makes you harder
than a calculus class #
292
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:13,865
# She could suck the gay
right off #
293
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:17,411
# Of a painting of a unicorn #
294
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:21,456
# She could fuck you
right in half #
295
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,834
# Her cans are posable #
296
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:27,796
# That makes them hosable #
297
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,589
# Two, three, four #
298
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:33,009
# She'd be fun to lick
like a philatelist stamp #
299
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,805
# Especially if you like the taste
of kerosene lamps #
300
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,475
# Did I forget to sing
about her monstrous rack? #
301
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,103
# Velvet, Velvet von Black #
302
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:47,858
# If you want to meet her
for a casual screw #
303
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:52,154
# Don't get shocked when
you get balls of royalest blue #
304
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:55,657
# She will steal your cash
and shove a shiv in your back #
305
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:59,536
# Velvet, Velvet von Black #
306
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:03,081
# Funbags, meatballs #
307
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:06,835
# Love stones,
yabos #
308
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:12,507
# Velvet, Velvet von Black. #
309
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,263
Oh oh oh, is that it, Otto?
310
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,640
The mark-- I think I see the mark.
311
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,393
I think that mark could be
due to G-string chafing.
312
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,854
Otto, you must fetch her for me.
313
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:30,192
That could be the mark
of my unholy bride!
314
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,612
Just when I've almost
perfected my soufflé.
315
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:36,782
Listen, you, you wouldn't
even be able to say soufflé
316
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,201
if I hadn't put that smart screw
in your head.
317
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,912
I can always take it out,
you know,
318
00:18:41,996 --> 00:18:44,206
send you back to the jungle.
319
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,626
You remember the
jungle, don't you?
320
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,592
Not the jungle!
There's no cable in the jungle!
321
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,887
Are we on the same page,
monkey?
322
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,765
Yes yes, master, yes.
323
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,768
Now huff it out of
here, gold brick!
324
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:08,355
Ooh! Ooh! Ahh! Ahh!
325
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,326
It's hot out.
326
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:25,121
Tomorrow's
gonna be even hotter,
327
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:26,915
they say.
328
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,709
Yes, hot weather
happens in the summer.
329
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:37,801
See the game last night?
330
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,763
A real white-knuckler.
331
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,182
That Puerto Rican kid
332
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:46,810
can really hit.
333
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,698
Okay, then.
334
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:01,032
Here we go. See ya.
335
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,909
Ah, finally.
336
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:05,078
Ooh! Ooh! Ahh! Ahh!
337
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,709
I think I left a nickel onstage.
338
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:14,796
Consider it my donation
to the Sad-Ass Ho Club.
339
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,506
Ay! What did she say?
340
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,842
I said "sad ho,"
341
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,552
you sad-ass deaf ho.
342
00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,763
Funny!
343
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,349
Goddamn wedgies
up in my pussy and shit.
344
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:39,154
Excuse me, but I didn't see no sign
saying "dumb-ass ape wanted."
345
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,989
How charming.
346
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,992
All right. Here we go.
347
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,328
Keep it simple.
No fancy stuff needed.
348
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:48,622
After all, she's only a stripper.
349
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,457
You're a world-famous
man of action.
350
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:51,917
No need to be nervous.
351
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,587
Hello, Miss von Black?
352
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,005
Come on, get in there.
353
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,343
Excuse me?
Didn't catch that.
354
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,595
Come come come!
355
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,014
Come in? I don't mind if I do.
356
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:09,017
I hope you're not decent!
357
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,145
Yowza!
358
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:14,606
Hey, should I leave or join in?
359
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,819
I'm just gonna go.
360
00:21:19,904 --> 00:21:23,907
Come on, Beasto.
Flowers? Beer hat?
361
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,035
Stop thinking with your brain
and start thinking with your c--
362
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,537
Do I look like a wheelbarrow?
363
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,039
Get your hands off me!
364
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,123
Did you say something?
365
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,500
Negative.
366
00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:36,127
Hello, will somebody get
a monkey off a bitch?
367
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:43,093
Take your stinking paws
off her, you damn dirty ape!
368
00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:46,346
Now that's a little derivative,
don't you think?
369
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,274
That is one kinky broad.
370
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:07,075
Hello, am I in for some
hot monkey love? Hmm? Is that it?
371
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:10,078
Would you keep quiet? This is
humiliating enough.
372
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:13,081
What would Penelope say if she
knew I was with someone like you?
373
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,457
Be-atch, your shit should be honored.
374
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:17,085
I bet if I save Velvet
from that screwy ape
375
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,170
she'll love me long time.
376
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:21,506
But my order of hot wings
is almost up,
377
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:24,092
and I do love the hot wings.
378
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:26,469
Draping my ass over your
hairy-ass fucking shoulders
379
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:28,388
like I was a mink-ass stole and shit.
380
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:32,100
- Mink stole? More like a stanky mole.
- Motherfucker!
381
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,601
If you want to scratch this here,
382
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,103
you better watch
your ass mouth!
383
00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:37,731
Oh, but she does
have an amazing ass.
384
00:22:37,815 --> 00:22:40,108
And those jumbo jiggly-wigglies!
385
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,693
The only thing that comes close
386
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:43,653
is the bleu cheese
they give you with the wings.
387
00:22:43,738 --> 00:22:45,113
You see, the wings are spicy,
388
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,991
and the bleu cheese
cools them off just so.
389
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:51,202
Madam, you repulse me.
390
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:55,540
Hey, monkey, where's
your organ grinder?
391
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:58,126
I find that very hurtful.
392
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,670
Oh, boo hoo.
You know what else is hurtful?
393
00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:03,006
Your thumb all up in my ass.
394
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,008
My thumb is not in your ass!
395
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,469
Well, why not?
What are you, queer?
396
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,979
Aw! I'll save the day.
397
00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,608
Celebrity coming through.
398
00:23:21,692 --> 00:23:23,109
Out of the way, lard-ass.
399
00:23:23,194 --> 00:23:25,779
Grab my car, pronto.
I'm in a hurry.
400
00:23:25,863 --> 00:23:28,656
Hey, get to the back
of the fucking line!
401
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,785
People, people,
I only have so many headshots.
402
00:23:31,869 --> 00:23:35,163
Motherfucker,
I don't want this!
403
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:38,583
Fine. Here's a free copy
of my new CD, "Beasto Crankies."
404
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,543
It's a full 40 minutes
of phony phone calls.
405
00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,837
Hi, I'm calling from the bank.
406
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,672
Beasto, nigga, I know it's you!
407
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:48,218
No, it's not Beasto.
I'm calling from the bank.
408
00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:50,804
Beasto, you hear me?
409
00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:52,514
Stop calling my ass.
410
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:54,182
- I have some--
- Beasto--
411
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,768
Banking business to--
412
00:24:00,022 --> 00:24:02,190
Now I'm off to see Suzi X.
413
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:04,025
What a dickhead!
414
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:05,568
Thank you!
415
00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:14,577
# Explosion!
Hey, look at that bunch of zombies #
416
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:18,164
# I think they're Nazis,
that one had a tongue #
417
00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:20,333
# She throws a thing,
it blows up #
418
00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:22,418
# But a bunch get through #
419
00:24:22,503 --> 00:24:25,713
# Why does a zombie need a scarf? #
420
00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:29,217
# She turns left
and some don't make it #
421
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:33,138
# Zombie Nazis
fucking with my day now #
422
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,391
# Here they come,
time to put on lipstick #
423
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:38,726
# That's not safe
while you're driving #
424
00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,603
# And here comes a train #
425
00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:44,315
# Sweet bleeding Christ,
she fucking jumps the train! #
426
00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:49,362
# Look at that asshole,
what's he supposed to be? #
427
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:53,366
# Oopsy, hundreds of people dead #
428
00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:56,411
# She got away and
everything is great #
429
00:24:56,495 --> 00:25:00,248
# Are you shitting me?
Here comes more of them #
430
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:04,252
# Zombie Nazis
blocking up the road #
431
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:08,131
# Now the chase is done
so we can end this song. #
432
00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:13,261
Okay, I'll make you a deal.
433
00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:16,556
You surrender
the head of the Fuhrer, okay,
434
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,018
and we promise
we will show you mercy.
435
00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:21,269
That's the best I can do.
436
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:24,314
Oh, I love it when you boys
talk all nasty Nazi to me.
437
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:26,691
I get all crazy inside.
438
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:29,861
- Now, who wants a little head?
- I do, I do, I do!
439
00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:31,654
- Uh-oh.
- What was that, Murray?
440
00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:35,283
Oh, the flu, that's what I meant.
I think I'm getting it.
441
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,077
- Get the Fuhrer's head, Hans, Wilhelm!
- Jawohl!
442
00:25:38,162 --> 00:25:41,289
Get the Fuhrer's head.
Show the Nazis how to do it, please.
443
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:48,004
Hold me tightly,
big strong paisan!
444
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:50,632
Holy crap!
445
00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:53,176
Zip it and start spinning,
pussycat!
446
00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:56,804
# Zombie Nazis
getting shot to ribbons #
447
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,390
# Ooh-ooh #
448
00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:02,393
# Nice #
449
00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:09,817
# Zombies melting. #
450
00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:11,319
Oh, God.
451
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,279
Cow-a-ya-ya!
452
00:26:13,364 --> 00:26:14,906
Beasto, what are
you doing here?
453
00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:18,326
- Hold this. Hah!
- Hey, I recognize this dude.
454
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:19,410
He's the Little Tramp!
455
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,038
He's hysterical.
456
00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:23,331
He's taller than I thought.
457
00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:25,333
What's up, bro?
What's the dealio, yo?
458
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,418
I need your help
with a little problem.
459
00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:29,128
I mean, it's barely even that, really.
460
00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:31,339
- Let's call it a situation.
- Beasto, man,
461
00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:33,424
don't waste my time.
Is this about pussy?
462
00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:35,301
- No.
- Poontang?
463
00:26:35,386 --> 00:26:36,344
- Nada.
- Tool shed?
464
00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,221
- Nein.
- Cockpit?
465
00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:39,347
- Nope.
- Love box?
466
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:40,682
- Negative.
- Fur patch?
467
00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:42,350
- No.
- Bearded clam? Nipsey Russell?
468
00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:43,768
Fish patty?
Panty hamster?
469
00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:45,353
Vertical bacon sandwich?
470
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,355
- No ma'am.
- Okay, I'll help.
471
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:49,440
You didn't say bat cave.
472
00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:50,650
What did you say?
473
00:26:50,734 --> 00:26:51,776
I said,
474
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:53,653
it seems a crafty monkey
with a big screw in his head
475
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:56,864
kidnapped this sweet, innocent
little village girl against her will,
476
00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:58,825
in front of my very eyes.
477
00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:01,160
The balls.
478
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:04,080
Primate kidnappers?
Sounds groovy, baby. I'm in.
479
00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:07,083
But if you're just trying to
get into said village girl's knickers,
480
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:10,211
then you are gonna be
the sorry chimp, buster.
481
00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:11,379
Dynamite!
482
00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:14,382
Find out what tree the smelly ape
is hiding in and hit my digits.
483
00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:17,260
- It's easy as pie.
- Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
484
00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:18,386
What exactly are you gonna do?
485
00:27:19,596 --> 00:27:22,098
For shizzle. I'm gonna keep it real,
talk to my peeps,
486
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,142
get the 411 from my boys
back in the hood, yo.
487
00:27:24,226 --> 00:27:27,020
Oh, and here's your pickled Fuhrer.
488
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:32,400
All right, Shitler Youth,
it's your lucky day!
489
00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,986
You want it? Here it is.
Come and get it!
490
00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:36,946
Agh! My Fuhrer!
491
00:27:37,031 --> 00:27:38,823
I will save you!
492
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:43,953
At last, mein Fuhrer,
you are home!
493
00:27:44,038 --> 00:27:46,497
All hail the Fuhrer!
494
00:27:46,582 --> 00:27:48,708
Our fearless leader
has returned!
495
00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:52,253
Whoo!
496
00:27:55,632 --> 00:27:57,675
I think you're gonna like
this new design.
497
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:02,096
Mein Fuhrer, why do you
not sing with us, hmm?
498
00:28:02,181 --> 00:28:05,516
Oh, what a big breath mint.
499
00:28:11,732 --> 00:28:14,442
So I told that bitch,
"Step off them pumps, ho!
500
00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:16,152
Them shits are mine!"
501
00:28:16,236 --> 00:28:17,987
Where the fuck we gong now?
502
00:28:18,072 --> 00:28:20,031
What kind of "Fright Night"
bullshit is this?
503
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:21,949
Oh, please refrain
from speaking.
504
00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:24,827
I know you must be proud
of your beauty-school education,
505
00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:27,080
but your constant use of profanity
506
00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:29,916
is an assault on my
Wellingtonian sensibilities.
507
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,001
I ain't the one with a dingleberry
508
00:28:32,086 --> 00:28:34,712
hanging off my ass hairs,
nasty ape and shit.
509
00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:36,923
Yes, well I'm not so sure about that.
510
00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:39,675
The stank in this landfill
is killing my coif.
511
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,012
I'm gonna have to get
Tananeesha now to fix my weave.
512
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,687
Hey, how about them gas prices?
513
00:28:51,772 --> 00:28:54,399
Not that I have any place to go.
514
00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:59,570
Hey, monkey.
Hello?
515
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:01,489
I think he's talking to you.
516
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,116
He sure-ass ain't talking to me.
517
00:29:05,494 --> 00:29:07,578
T.G.I.F., huh?
518
00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:09,956
Yeah.
519
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,542
Friday already?
Seems like Wednesday.
520
00:29:14,878 --> 00:29:17,130
All day.
521
00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:23,886
Oh. Speaking of gas prices. Ew!
522
00:29:23,971 --> 00:29:26,347
Shit. Even my ass is bored.
523
00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:29,517
Don't think I'm apologizing,
neither.
524
00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:32,145
- You know that shit smells good.
- Oh, delicious,
525
00:29:32,229 --> 00:29:33,438
the plowman's lunch.
526
00:29:33,522 --> 00:29:35,982
Finally got that itching under control.
527
00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:39,402
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, nipped that right in the bud.
528
00:29:57,963 --> 00:29:59,881
Hey, what's wrong
with your car?
529
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:04,552
Hey, fellas.
530
00:30:09,391 --> 00:30:12,435
What the friggidy-fuck?
Hello to you too.
531
00:30:12,519 --> 00:30:14,645
Yo, ese, where you been?
532
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,398
Turned your back
on your homeboys, huh?
533
00:30:17,483 --> 00:30:21,235
- Blood is blood.
- Yeah, whoo, I've been, like, crazy busy.
534
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,653
I lost my cell phone too.
535
00:30:22,738 --> 00:30:24,572
I lost, like, every number.
536
00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:27,575
You look good, really good.
You losing weight?
537
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,202
That's not cool, homes.
538
00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:31,078
You could have been dead
in a ditch somewhere.
539
00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:32,580
We were worried sick.
540
00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:34,665
Rodriguez hasn't slept
in a month.
541
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:40,046
Look, Rico, you're my homey.
542
00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:42,465
And as Ricky Ricardo said to Fred,
543
00:30:42,549 --> 00:30:44,258
"Don't be such a pussy."
544
00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:46,677
Look what you've done
to Rodriguez now.
545
00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:47,762
You are so mean.
546
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,472
Oh, boo-hoo.
547
00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:52,600
Look, I need some info
on a giant horny ape, pronto, amigos.
548
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,269
Not so fast, homes.
549
00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:57,688
First, we gotta see
if you're still one of us.
550
00:30:57,773 --> 00:30:59,482
I was afraid of this.
551
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,075
No way!
552
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,124
Are you still the man, bro!
553
00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:18,668
Yes I am!
554
00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:21,379
I missed you guys.
555
00:31:21,463 --> 00:31:23,965
Get in here!
556
00:31:24,049 --> 00:31:25,383
Okay.
557
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:26,717
Getting a little gay, fellas.
558
00:31:35,644 --> 00:31:37,395
This is it. Make
yourself comfortable.
559
00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:40,273
No, don't-- I'm afraid
of what that might entail.
560
00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:41,649
Mm-hmm.
561
00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:44,318
Flat screen! Mmm.
562
00:31:44,403 --> 00:31:46,529
Sweet. Better be
fucking plasma.
563
00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:47,947
Better be a fucking minibar.
564
00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:51,367
Hot damn, there is!
You did good, monkey.
565
00:31:51,451 --> 00:31:53,327
I'll be back to run your bath.
566
00:31:53,412 --> 00:31:56,664
Perhaps performing some ablutions
will make you more palatable.
567
00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:59,792
- And try to remain somewhat coherent.
- What did you just call me?
568
00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:02,211
You're the one who's all
fucking coherent and shit.
569
00:32:02,296 --> 00:32:04,672
What the hell are these
tiny bottles for, huh?
570
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:06,924
What you think I am,
a fucking midget or something?
571
00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:08,259
I ain't no Lilliputian and shit!
572
00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:11,470
Nice mouth. You'll make
the perfect bride.
573
00:32:13,223 --> 00:32:18,144
# I hear the cottonwoods
whispering above... #
574
00:32:23,317 --> 00:32:26,027
Now...
ooh!
575
00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:28,237
There we go. Hello.
576
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:34,702
Attaboy, attaboy!
577
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:37,705
That's it. Keep it going!
Yeah.
578
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:42,168
Ho, ho, come on, buddy,
stick with it!
579
00:32:42,252 --> 00:32:44,545
Stick with it, stick with it!
Oh, oh, yeah!
580
00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:46,213
Keep it up,
keep it up, yeah!
581
00:32:46,298 --> 00:32:47,965
Dr. Satan, I--
whoopsy!
582
00:32:48,050 --> 00:32:50,718
What did I say about
me in the bedroom?
583
00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:52,887
Dreadfully sorry about
interrupting your wank, sir.
584
00:32:52,971 --> 00:32:54,722
A Miss von Black
is in her room.
585
00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:56,807
Sorry, nothing.
Get out!
586
00:32:56,892 --> 00:32:59,852
Damn it!
That moment is ruined.
587
00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:05,107
# El Superbeasto! #
588
00:33:05,192 --> 00:33:06,734
# El Superbeasto! #
589
00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:15,242
Hmm.
590
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:19,747
Come on, Suzi, call!
591
00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:21,582
What am I up against?
592
00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:24,168
I do not call this professional.
593
00:33:24,252 --> 00:33:27,630
Aw, screw it. What's
the worst that could happen?
594
00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:29,340
No, no!
595
00:33:30,801 --> 00:33:32,218
Nah.
596
00:33:32,302 --> 00:33:33,969
That stuff only happens
in the movies.
597
00:33:34,054 --> 00:33:38,349
Yeah...
598
00:33:38,433 --> 00:33:40,768
- What the--
- Right there. Oh, yeah...
599
00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:43,938
Oh, you're a dirty little girl,
aren't you?
600
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:45,773
- Daddy likey.
- Ohh...
601
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,609
Oh, you want to make
little sounds.
602
00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:51,320
Ow-a-ya-ya.
603
00:33:51,405 --> 00:33:52,405
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
604
00:33:52,489 --> 00:33:53,572
Yowza!
605
00:33:53,657 --> 00:33:57,076
Damn, baby, your shit is tight.
Mmm-mm-mm.
606
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,786
- Burt?
- Hey, Beasto.
607
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:01,622
Burt, you sly dog.
608
00:34:01,707 --> 00:34:04,542
Hey, listen, have you seen
a monkey run through here?
609
00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:08,379
Man, he went that way carrying
some grade-A booty, you dig?
610
00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:11,132
Hey! That's cold, baby!
611
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:15,803
Give me a call if this
doesn't work out.
612
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:19,432
Hey, squirrel, do I look like
I want to talk to you?
613
00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:21,892
I ain't here to talk. I'm here
for the all-American ass party.
614
00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:25,354
How about you make yourself useful
and go get me some beer nuts?
615
00:34:25,439 --> 00:34:27,898
Oh, Mama, I got your nuts
right here. Why don't you salt 'em--
616
00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:34,405
Sorry about the door.
I just had sex.
617
00:34:36,616 --> 00:34:38,784
All right, babies, listen up!
618
00:34:38,869 --> 00:34:41,162
It's Suzi X!
619
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:44,498
I just remembered I've got to go
visit my sister Bernice in Newark.
620
00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:46,876
I've got to put some
ointment on her fistula.
621
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,211
So long!
622
00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:52,923
You see that girl?
The one killing?
623
00:34:53,008 --> 00:34:54,842
She's my girlfriend.
624
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,845
- Oh, let's spank them pushin' cushions!
- No!
625
00:34:57,929 --> 00:34:59,305
That's fresh.
626
00:34:59,389 --> 00:35:03,768
Funbags are fully inflated and are
ready for official clown business.
627
00:35:03,852 --> 00:35:06,771
Oh, you want some clown business,
do you, greaseball?
628
00:35:06,855 --> 00:35:08,314
Well,
629
00:35:08,398 --> 00:35:09,857
dig these buns of steel!
630
00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:13,652
Ow, my hand, you bitch!
631
00:35:13,737 --> 00:35:17,406
I need some info on
an ugly, filthy, stinky ape,
632
00:35:17,491 --> 00:35:21,744
and I'm gonna squeeze every one
of you zits until one of you pops.
633
00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:29,752
I have to take this.
It's my agent. Pilot season.
634
00:35:29,836 --> 00:35:31,212
Uh, have we heard anything?
635
00:35:31,296 --> 00:35:34,882
Oh, really?
Fred Savage? Great.
636
00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:39,845
That's all I'm saying. If Flavor Flav
can do it, why not me?
637
00:35:39,930 --> 00:35:41,764
See, now we're on the same page...
638
00:35:41,848 --> 00:35:45,309
Dr. Satan, that is the
barrel-chested luchador
639
00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:47,853
that saw me kidnap
Miss von Black!
640
00:35:47,938 --> 00:35:50,773
So? The graveyard is
crammed with security.
641
00:35:50,857 --> 00:35:51,941
What's the big stinkeroo?
642
00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:55,236
Ooh, pretty.
643
00:36:01,618 --> 00:36:03,077
I'm not yelling at you!
644
00:36:03,161 --> 00:36:04,829
I'm not-- I'm not yelling at you.
645
00:36:04,913 --> 00:36:08,999
I'm just saying I deserve
to be a star.
646
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:11,919
Well, I am-- I know I'm a star,
647
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,629
but I want to be a
bigger fucking star.
648
00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,260
Um, I gotta go.
649
00:36:19,344 --> 00:36:20,636
Listen to me, tootsie.
650
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:23,556
Ain't no dame ever gonna
make me turn pigeon, you hear?
651
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,850
I've been kicked around by the best!
652
00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:28,936
Joey the Roach, Frankie the Mug,
Jimmy the Cracker--
653
00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:31,105
All right, you little worm,
you got until I count to three
654
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:33,691
to tell me who that smelly ape
with the screw in his noggin
655
00:36:33,775 --> 00:36:36,902
is working for or I'm gonna
blow your little friggin' worm head
656
00:36:36,987 --> 00:36:38,946
- into a million pieces!
- Aw, blow me!
657
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,531
- Uno...
- "F" you!
658
00:36:40,615 --> 00:36:43,242
- ...dos...
- Bet you can't even count to three.
659
00:36:43,326 --> 00:36:46,036
...and three--
I mean tres!
660
00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:49,164
Go ahead, blondie.
I don't want to live, you hear me?
661
00:36:49,249 --> 00:36:51,166
I don't want to live!
662
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,920
Ah, fine. Dr. Satan.
663
00:36:55,005 --> 00:36:57,756
Murray, we've got a name, an address.
664
00:36:57,841 --> 00:36:58,966
Let's move, Tin Man!
665
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:01,552
Thanks, fellas.
Nice ass kicking!
666
00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:02,970
Ta-ta!
667
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:11,145
You picked the wrong guy
on the wrong night.
668
00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:16,525
I just lost another goddamn pilot
to that punk from "Malcolm in the Middle"!
669
00:37:16,610 --> 00:37:18,694
You like that?
670
00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:22,823
This is the result of several pushups
and that new ab thingy.
671
00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:24,992
It looks kind of shitty
but it really works.
672
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:26,911
Ow, my ball joint!
673
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:29,955
Listen, ass pile,
674
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,125
get out of my fucking fuckface.
675
00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:36,003
No, you get out of my friggin' face!
676
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,422
Out of the way, Sally.
677
00:37:38,506 --> 00:37:40,132
No siree, Barbara!
678
00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:44,303
Look, Mary,
I'm an A-list celebrity.
679
00:37:44,387 --> 00:37:46,388
I don't have time for this shit!
680
00:37:46,473 --> 00:37:49,016
Oh, yeah? Well, you're
also on private property,
681
00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:50,309
you stupid baby.
682
00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:52,645
Hold that thought.
683
00:37:52,729 --> 00:37:54,229
Yello?
684
00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:55,397
Who loves you, baby?
685
00:37:55,482 --> 00:37:57,983
Dig it-- I got the lowdown
on the hoedown.
686
00:37:58,068 --> 00:38:00,527
Yeah, the ape works for
some cat called Dr. Satan,
687
00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:02,071
and he's trying to take
over the world.
688
00:38:02,155 --> 00:38:04,031
Huh. Yeah, right!
689
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:07,284
Dr. Satan? Holy schnikeys!
690
00:38:07,369 --> 00:38:10,329
What would that crazy fruit ball
want with my lady?
691
00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,164
Did you say "your lady"?
692
00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:13,874
I knew this was about pussy!
693
00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:18,212
Cell phone people are so rude!
694
00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:20,255
Beasto, are you all right?
Are you okay?
695
00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:23,217
Fred Savage, is that you?
696
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:29,056
Murray, I can dig a scene, and
this one is about to swing mondo.
697
00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:32,059
Beasto's hit the ultraskids and
I ain't a dame to take it on the arches
698
00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:34,228
with a brother in Dragsville, baby.
699
00:38:37,107 --> 00:38:38,649
# Check it out,
I'm imp the dimp #
700
00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:39,858
# The ladies' pimp #
701
00:38:39,943 --> 00:38:41,777
# The women fight for my delight #
702
00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:44,071
# But I'm the grand master
with the three MCs #
703
00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:46,073
# That shock the house
for the young ladies #
704
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,325
# And when you come inside,
into the front #
705
00:38:48,410 --> 00:38:50,327
# You do the freak, spank,
and do the bump #
706
00:38:50,412 --> 00:38:52,663
# And when the sucker MCs
try to prove a point #
707
00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:54,915
# We're treacherous trio,
we're the serious joint #
708
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,917
# From sun to sun
and from day to day #
709
00:38:57,002 --> 00:38:59,086
# I sit down and write
a brand-new rhyme #
710
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,171
# Because they say that
miracles never cease #
711
00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:03,298
# I've created a
devastating masterpiece #
712
00:39:03,383 --> 00:39:05,592
# I'm gonna rock the mike
till you can't resist #
713
00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:07,177
# Everybody, I say it goes like this... #
714
00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:09,138
Oh, my!
715
00:39:09,222 --> 00:39:12,683
God damn it,
Otto! Don't you ever knock?
716
00:39:12,767 --> 00:39:16,603
Oh, ho ho. Who the fuck is that?
717
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:19,606
Quit with the charade.
Nobody's buying it.
718
00:39:19,691 --> 00:39:22,359
Everybody in this room
knows who I am.
719
00:39:22,444 --> 00:39:24,069
Am I right, people?
720
00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:30,701
- You!
- Hold the short bus. I know you!
721
00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:33,912
You're that dorky freshman
who was obsessed with my sister.
722
00:39:33,997 --> 00:39:38,542
No, I'm not.
I'm Dr. Satan!
723
00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:40,127
Yeah yeah yeah.
724
00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:43,172
You're little
Stevie Pee-Pee-Pants Wachowski.
725
00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:45,466
Be aggressive!
B- E aggressive...
726
00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:47,509
- # If you love blueberries... #
- ...Be aggressive...
727
00:39:47,594 --> 00:39:49,553
- #...Kiss my toes... #
- ...B-E-A-G-G...
728
00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:53,140
# If you've got an appetite
for some sticky-sweet #
729
00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:55,225
# Huffin' and puffin' #
730
00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:56,518
# Eat me up! #
731
00:39:56,603 --> 00:40:01,106
# I'm your real love muscle! #
732
00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:03,025
Okay, nice song, nerd.
733
00:40:03,109 --> 00:40:04,276
Listen to this one.
734
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:07,154
Hey!
735
00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:11,158
Yeah!
736
00:40:11,242 --> 00:40:12,785
Get a load of this, ladies.
737
00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:15,412
I'm awesome!
I'm awesome! I'm awesome!
738
00:40:15,497 --> 00:40:17,414
Let's not go through all that again.
739
00:40:17,499 --> 00:40:19,333
Just hand Velvet over
like a good little nerd
740
00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:21,168
and I can get busy
tapping that ass.
741
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,170
All right, listen up,
you dumb jock.
742
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:24,922
Velvet von Black is mine!
743
00:40:25,006 --> 00:40:28,550
At midnight she will be
my unholy bride and all mine!
744
00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,844
Mine! Mine mine mine mine mine!
745
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:35,349
Oh, is that me?
746
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:37,309
I gotta take this.
747
00:40:37,393 --> 00:40:39,144
Yello?
748
00:40:39,229 --> 00:40:40,187
Talk to me, baby.
749
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:41,396
Give me some good news.
750
00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:43,816
Oh, really?
751
00:40:43,900 --> 00:40:47,194
Krongarr, discipline him!
752
00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:48,320
Yes, master, yes!
753
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,702
That's right, bitch!
754
00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:59,373
Yeah, we'll see who's wedgie boy now,
hmm, hotshot? Hmm?
755
00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:04,628
Ouch!
756
00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:11,051
There you are. Yo, go pass me
some more of that Champagney shit.
757
00:41:11,136 --> 00:41:13,762
Oh, God.
Hold still.
758
00:41:13,847 --> 00:41:16,181
Hey hey, easy with
that brush, you creep!
759
00:41:16,266 --> 00:41:17,224
I'm tender-headed!
760
00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:20,227
Believe me, I don't want to
do this any more than you do.
761
00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:22,604
Don't front. You know you
staring at my Wonder Twins.
762
00:41:22,689 --> 00:41:25,357
You want your monkey juice
on these shits, don't you?
763
00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:26,859
No, put the twins to bed.
764
00:41:26,943 --> 00:41:29,611
I would rather shuck out my eyes
with a rusty clam knife.
765
00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:30,779
Mmm-hmm.
766
00:41:30,864 --> 00:41:32,406
Hand me that bottle, Bozo.
767
00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:34,449
Here you go-- oh!
768
00:41:34,534 --> 00:41:37,578
Hey hey hey, you're dirtying
my bathwater, monkey.
769
00:41:37,662 --> 00:41:39,621
Whoa. Oh.
770
00:41:39,706 --> 00:41:43,250
Ooh, hey, that's not half bad.
771
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,252
Hidden talents and shit.
772
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:47,421
Agh!
Oh, the stench!
773
00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:50,174
It's like bilge water
from the River Thames!
774
00:41:50,258 --> 00:41:52,968
Now why'd you stop?
I'm the one who tells you when.
775
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:55,262
- Shit!
- It was a mistake, I assure you,
776
00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:57,764
like casting George Lazenby
as 007.
777
00:41:57,849 --> 00:42:02,269
Mistake, my ass. You know, once
you go black you never go back.
778
00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:03,687
That's von Black, bitch.
779
00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:08,025
I need some mouthwash
and a mind eraser immediately!
780
00:42:08,109 --> 00:42:13,071
Why? Why? Why?
781
00:42:13,156 --> 00:42:17,284
Why? Why?
Why?
782
00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:19,745
Hey, brother, snap out of it!
783
00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:22,289
That's just perfect.
784
00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:23,707
All right, who said it?
785
00:42:23,791 --> 00:42:26,293
Who dared interrupt
my big moment?
786
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:28,003
Well, that would
be me, brother,
787
00:42:28,087 --> 00:42:31,298
the toughest mat-grappler
this side of your mama's panties--
788
00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:35,302
El Gato!
789
00:42:35,386 --> 00:42:36,845
Who really gives a shit?
790
00:42:36,930 --> 00:42:38,931
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm busy.
791
00:42:39,015 --> 00:42:40,933
- Okay, bring it up.
- Camera assistant: How's that?
792
00:42:41,017 --> 00:42:42,184
- Up a bit, yeah.
- That good?
793
00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,561
- Okay, that's it.
- Scene 67, take 2.
794
00:42:44,646 --> 00:42:48,690
Um-- damn it.
795
00:42:48,775 --> 00:42:51,318
See, this is what happens.
796
00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:52,903
Line, please.
797
00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:57,115
- Why?
- Oh, right.
798
00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:02,079
Why? Why? Why?
799
00:43:02,163 --> 00:43:06,708
Why? Why?
Why?
800
00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:09,086
I can't believe you're here.
My idol,
801
00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:12,339
locked in chains like
a towelhead at Guantanamo.
802
00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:15,759
Yeah, well, this is
a temporary setback, see?
803
00:43:15,843 --> 00:43:18,095
You remember when
I was pitted against
804
00:43:18,179 --> 00:43:20,347
the Raging Earth's Crust
at the Razzledome?
805
00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:21,640
- No.
- Oh, yeah.
806
00:43:21,724 --> 00:43:23,558
He was squeezing my head
807
00:43:23,643 --> 00:43:24,977
- like I was a tit--
- Do you mind?
808
00:43:25,061 --> 00:43:28,355
I'm trying to formulate
an exciting plan of action.
809
00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:30,357
Then he yanked my balls off.
810
00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:33,360
That's great.
Your family must be very proud.
811
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:35,988
I bet they gave you a party cake
and everything.
812
00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:38,865
Oh, no. Can't have any cake.
I'm a diabetic.
813
00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:42,369
But I did get a new set of
pendulous balls grafted on.
814
00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:43,996
- See?
- Hmm.
815
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,332
Could this get any more repulsive?
816
00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:51,003
Oh, sweet buns--
firm, yet squishy.
817
00:43:51,087 --> 00:43:52,462
Oh, I love 'em.
818
00:43:52,547 --> 00:43:56,008
Beasto's Hot Wheel's
at 12:00, big daddy!
819
00:44:00,179 --> 00:44:01,513
I dig the new cycle, Murray.
820
00:44:01,597 --> 00:44:04,641
But if I didn't know better,
I'd say the design was a bit,
821
00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:07,394
shall we say, kinky.
822
00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:11,398
Kinky? Um, uh, no,
it was, uh-- I mean--
823
00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:13,650
I meticulously calculated
the wind velocity
824
00:44:13,735 --> 00:44:16,111
and that was the most
aerodynamically sound...
825
00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:17,404
Time to change, Murray.
826
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:20,407
If somebody caught me wearing the
same outfit in two different adventures,
827
00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:23,785
I think it would
simpwy bwake my wittle heart.
828
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:25,412
Oh, I understand
how the heart can ache--
829
00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:28,123
sometimes achy-break.
830
00:44:28,207 --> 00:44:29,916
Suzi, oh, please--
831
00:44:30,001 --> 00:44:32,461
Wow, Murray, you're a riot.
832
00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:35,505
Let me tell you-- count yourself
lucky you don't have a heart.
833
00:44:35,590 --> 00:44:38,675
You never have to feel the rush
of hot blood racing through your veins,
834
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:40,427
pumping life into vital organs,
835
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:44,264
throbbing, pulsating,
836
00:44:44,349 --> 00:44:47,768
swelling, pumping.
837
00:44:51,022 --> 00:44:52,230
- Agh!
- Cool it, hot stuff.
838
00:44:52,315 --> 00:44:54,816
- Oh, God!
- I'll tell you when we need the big guns.
839
00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:03,033
Murray, I think we've got company.
840
00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:05,577
There they are!
841
00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:09,289
# Zombie Nazis standing
at a wall now. #
842
00:45:09,374 --> 00:45:12,542
Love is a battlefield.
843
00:45:12,627 --> 00:45:15,128
Ah, the wisdom of Benatar.
844
00:45:15,213 --> 00:45:17,047
Witness the carnage, Otto.
845
00:45:17,131 --> 00:45:22,886
Welcome to
the Hall of Frozen Ex-wives!
846
00:45:24,931 --> 00:45:27,140
22 failed marriages.
847
00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:30,060
Where did I go wrong?
848
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:32,813
Take Deirdre.
We met in pre-med.
849
00:45:32,897 --> 00:45:35,023
Oh, how I adored her.
850
00:45:35,108 --> 00:45:36,525
Oh, she was beneath you, sir--
851
00:45:36,609 --> 00:45:39,486
and beneath every man on the
Manchester United Football Club.
852
00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:42,364
Oh? And what would
you know about it, monkey?
853
00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:44,574
Anyway, she was boring.
854
00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:48,662
Ah, my second marriage, to Lilith,
was a debaucherous downward spiral.
855
00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:49,704
Mmm!
856
00:45:49,789 --> 00:45:52,082
Ah, Shirley.
She was cute--
857
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:54,626
couple of father issues, though.
Hmm.
858
00:45:54,710 --> 00:45:56,294
Oh, Maria.
859
00:45:56,379 --> 00:45:58,505
Philosophical differences.
Mmm.
860
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:01,174
Impala-- she wouldn't
let me get too close to her.
861
00:46:01,259 --> 00:46:03,427
Sarah--
she ran hot and cold.
862
00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:05,429
Sex was mechanical!
863
00:46:05,513 --> 00:46:06,513
Too clingy.
864
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:07,848
Too bossy.
Slurped her soup.
865
00:46:07,932 --> 00:46:09,015
Oh! My dry cleaning.
866
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:10,308
Nope.
Wrong.
867
00:46:10,393 --> 00:46:11,810
No no no no no.
868
00:46:11,894 --> 00:46:12,853
Nose!
869
00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:15,522
Ball busters on parade, brother!
870
00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:17,691
22 wives, Otto,
871
00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:20,068
all of them abysmal catastrophes!
872
00:46:20,153 --> 00:46:21,736
A total waste of time!
873
00:46:21,821 --> 00:46:24,865
Oh, but how I love the ladies!
874
00:46:24,949 --> 00:46:27,159
Nothing will stop me now!
875
00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:29,953
Get me Velvet von Black!
876
00:46:31,289 --> 00:46:33,540
- What was that?
- I'll tell you what it was,
877
00:46:33,624 --> 00:46:36,501
if you ask me. But quite honestly,
you've been difficult to talk to.
878
00:46:36,586 --> 00:46:40,005
Oh, shit.
I think that was a rat.
879
00:46:40,089 --> 00:46:43,925
Well, then-- there are only two things
in this world that I'm afraid of:
880
00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:47,387
my Uncle Carl in a thong,
and rats!
881
00:46:47,472 --> 00:46:49,139
Well, I got bad news for you, son.
882
00:46:49,223 --> 00:46:50,348
And worse news.
883
00:46:50,433 --> 00:46:52,517
Uh, what's the bad news?
884
00:46:52,602 --> 00:46:55,687
Hey, Beasto, you want to
play "My Bad Little Pony"?
885
00:46:55,771 --> 00:46:57,606
Uncle Carl!
886
00:46:57,690 --> 00:47:00,484
Jesus, Mary, and Seacrest!
887
00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:01,735
What's the worse news?
888
00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:03,153
Hey, check this out.
889
00:47:05,656 --> 00:47:06,656
B- b-b-b-b-b!
890
00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:12,579
Oh, moist.
891
00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:13,997
That's a new one.
892
00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,582
People'd pay money to see that.
893
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:18,293
I can't take it.
I'm not supposed to die like this.
894
00:47:18,377 --> 00:47:20,003
I'm a celebrity, damn it!
895
00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:24,674
Wachowski, get ready for
the wedgie of your life!
896
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,598
Whoo! Attaboy!
897
00:47:46,113 --> 00:47:49,574
My pretty Miss X.
898
00:47:49,659 --> 00:47:52,619
You thought you'd seen
the last of us, didn't you?
899
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:54,913
Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping,
you know.
900
00:47:54,997 --> 00:47:57,624
I did change my outfit and all.
Do you like it?
901
00:48:00,503 --> 00:48:02,128
It looks like it was painted on.
902
00:48:02,213 --> 00:48:06,925
- She's much hotter than Eva Braun.
- Come to Papa!
903
00:48:07,009 --> 00:48:09,386
Now you're cooking with gas!
904
00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:10,971
Ooh, sexy Mama!
905
00:48:11,055 --> 00:48:12,639
Silence, Grossberger!
906
00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:15,475
Very clever, Miss X,
907
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:20,355
but you are not familiar
with the Nazi Curse, are you?
908
00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:23,066
Hmm, which one?
Let me see.
909
00:48:23,150 --> 00:48:24,734
There's "Fuck Nazis,"
910
00:48:24,819 --> 00:48:25,986
"God Damn Nazis,"
911
00:48:26,070 --> 00:48:27,112
"Nazi Assholes,"
912
00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:28,280
"Nazi Pricks,"
913
00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:29,447
"Nazi Douche Bags,"
914
00:48:29,532 --> 00:48:30,657
"Nazi Jerk Offs"--
915
00:48:30,741 --> 00:48:32,659
the list just goes on and on.
916
00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:36,121
Ha ha ha.
That's so funny I forgot to laugh.
917
00:48:36,205 --> 00:48:39,666
No, my pretty.
The Nazi Curse proclaims
918
00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:42,919
that the one who vanquishes
the soul of the Fuhrer
919
00:48:43,004 --> 00:48:45,880
will suffer the second coming
of the Third Reich!
920
00:48:45,965 --> 00:48:49,175
Arise, soldiers of the Third Reich!
921
00:48:54,765 --> 00:48:56,683
Nobody's laughing now!
922
00:48:56,767 --> 00:48:59,102
Well, I am, but it's
all about context, you see.
923
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:01,896
Correct me if I'm wrong here,
924
00:49:01,981 --> 00:49:03,982
but wouldn't the second coming
of the Third Reich
925
00:49:04,066 --> 00:49:06,318
actually be the first coming
of the Fourth Reich?
926
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:09,821
What did you say?
927
00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:11,698
Since this is the new one
after number three,
928
00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:14,701
wouldn't this technically
be number four, dipshit?
929
00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:18,330
That's right. You go, girl.
You know what you're talking about.
930
00:49:19,790 --> 00:49:21,207
Technically she is correct.
931
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,917
Wilhelm, would you do me a favor?
932
00:49:23,002 --> 00:49:24,711
- Yeah.
- Shut up!
933
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:26,254
Aw, forget it.
934
00:49:26,339 --> 00:49:28,715
Wait wait, my brothers.
No no no!
935
00:49:28,799 --> 00:49:30,300
Do over! Do over!
936
00:49:30,384 --> 00:49:34,304
Arise, soldiers of either the
Fourth or the Third Reich,
937
00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:37,140
you know, depending on
how you choose to count it.
938
00:49:38,768 --> 00:49:41,519
Who's your daddy now?
That's right. Me!
939
00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:44,564
Murray, prepare
for Ass Kicking 101!
940
00:49:44,649 --> 00:49:45,815
Let's get it done!
941
00:49:49,070 --> 00:49:51,738
So, Dr. Satan, huh?
What the fuck?
942
00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:53,740
You a doctor, like a PhD and shit?
943
00:49:53,824 --> 00:49:58,536
Ah, Velvet, you are the most
delightful and bewitching woman
944
00:49:58,621 --> 00:50:00,914
I have ever met.
945
00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:02,624
That's 'cause I'm a fuckin' lady.
Mmm.
946
00:50:03,626 --> 00:50:06,961
Hmm. I don't want
to seem too forward, Velvet,
947
00:50:07,046 --> 00:50:09,714
but the truth is I've grown
quite smitten with you.
948
00:50:09,799 --> 00:50:10,757
Oh, God.
949
00:50:10,841 --> 00:50:12,759
Yeah, me too.
950
00:50:12,843 --> 00:50:14,761
You got some nice digs, though.
I ain't gonna front.
951
00:50:14,845 --> 00:50:16,930
When Tananeesha and
Roqwana come through,
952
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:18,598
ooh, it's gonna be on!
953
00:50:18,683 --> 00:50:19,766
Them bitches gonna be jealous.
954
00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:21,976
Velvet, I'm going to cut to the chase.
955
00:50:22,061 --> 00:50:24,938
50% of everything
you see here is yours
956
00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:27,357
if you will be my bride.
957
00:50:27,441 --> 00:50:30,402
Oh, Satan, you're
the motherfuckin' man!
958
00:50:30,486 --> 00:50:32,696
And now, my dear--
959
00:50:35,616 --> 00:50:37,117
And now--
960
00:50:37,201 --> 00:50:39,160
Otto!
961
00:50:39,245 --> 00:50:40,370
Where the fuck is the ring?
962
00:50:40,454 --> 00:50:44,290
How fast do you think I can
saw the finger off a corpse?
963
00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:49,796
Hmm, so, this is awkward.
964
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,631
Mmm-hmm.
965
00:51:01,350 --> 00:51:04,227
Be my number 23.
966
00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:05,812
Da-a-amn!
967
00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:07,605
Now that's what
I'm talking about!
968
00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:08,898
That shit's tight!
969
00:51:08,983 --> 00:51:10,692
Aiight, I'm down.
970
00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:11,818
Let's turn this mother out!
971
00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:13,820
Whoa-ho-ho-ho!
972
00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:18,950
We are gonna have
the best Polish wedding ever!
973
00:51:21,907 --> 00:51:24,831
You gotta understand--
it's not an exercise program,
974
00:51:24,915 --> 00:51:26,166
it's a lifestyle.
975
00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:28,042
Look at me. I don't eat carbs.
976
00:51:28,127 --> 00:51:29,836
I don't eat 'em after 8:00.
977
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:30,920
I just don't do it.
978
00:51:45,686 --> 00:51:47,645
You know what we are,
don't you?
979
00:51:47,730 --> 00:51:48,855
I'll tell ya--
we're doomed!
980
00:51:48,939 --> 00:51:51,858
Not so fast, my big-balled friend.
981
00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:55,695
I didn't come this far to go down
like a Filipino transvestite
982
00:51:55,780 --> 00:51:56,905
during Fleet Week.
983
00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:06,164
Uh, music.
984
00:52:08,334 --> 00:52:11,336
# El Superbeasto... #
985
00:52:28,938 --> 00:52:31,898
What the--
986
00:52:31,982 --> 00:52:34,192
Whoo, that was a lot of fun.
987
00:52:34,276 --> 00:52:36,653
I haven't kicked ass
like that in a long time.
988
00:52:36,737 --> 00:52:38,488
Wait, I hear something.
989
00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:41,866
Is that Bodislav Bodinsky
the polka king?
990
00:52:41,951 --> 00:52:43,493
Outrageous!
991
00:52:43,577 --> 00:52:45,036
Let's go!
992
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,540
Oh, sure, use a man's balls
to beat the hell out of something
993
00:52:48,624 --> 00:52:49,749
and then don't wait for him!
994
00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:54,420
Kraut bogey, 5:00!
995
00:52:55,923 --> 00:52:59,300
When I woke up this morning
I was in such a good mood.
996
00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:01,886
Mind if I borrow these
for a moment?
997
00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:06,266
Time to take over, big boy.
998
00:53:06,350 --> 00:53:07,684
I'm going in.
999
00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:10,019
Going in?
Fucking awesome!
1000
00:53:11,981 --> 00:53:16,401
Damn iit, Otto, this is my special day
and those two are going to ruin it!
1001
00:53:16,485 --> 00:53:17,819
Now, hold still.
1002
00:53:17,903 --> 00:53:20,613
I don't think you're
taking this problem seriously.
1003
00:53:20,698 --> 00:53:23,616
Not taking it seriously?
1004
00:53:23,701 --> 00:53:27,495
Whose idea was it for the giant
cascading waterfall of shrimp, hmm?
1005
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:29,998
You.
1006
00:53:30,082 --> 00:53:32,959
And who was going
to surprise you
1007
00:53:33,043 --> 00:53:35,086
with a life-size ice sculpture
1008
00:53:35,170 --> 00:53:39,299
of His Supreme Evilness
Dr. Satan in all his glory?
1009
00:53:39,383 --> 00:53:41,968
- You didn't.
- I did.
1010
00:53:45,472 --> 00:53:46,931
Well, that's fine and dandy,
1011
00:53:47,016 --> 00:53:48,600
but did you ever stop
for one second
1012
00:53:48,684 --> 00:53:51,519
and think that if you weren't
acting like a giant Froot Loop
1013
00:53:51,604 --> 00:53:53,938
parading around
knee-deep in doilies,
1014
00:53:54,023 --> 00:53:55,982
then you would have noticed
that there were two superheroes
1015
00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:58,776
about to throw a
goddamn monkey wrench
1016
00:53:58,861 --> 00:54:02,906
in my master plan,
you stupid monkey!
1017
00:54:02,990 --> 00:54:05,617
Fuck you and your shrimp boat.
1018
00:54:05,701 --> 00:54:07,076
I'm doing this my way.
1019
00:54:08,078 --> 00:54:09,996
Oh! I meant to do that.
1020
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:12,248
Mark my words, Steven.
1021
00:54:12,333 --> 00:54:15,126
They're all gonna laugh at you.
Oh!
1022
00:54:21,091 --> 00:54:23,801
Don't all try and crowd in
on this one.
1023
00:54:23,886 --> 00:54:26,012
There'll be another shuttle
along shortly.
1024
00:54:26,096 --> 00:54:28,890
Hmm. Perfect.
1025
00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:31,935
There's enough pigs-in-a-blanket
for everyone.
1026
00:54:32,019 --> 00:54:33,394
- Hi.
- Oh!
1027
00:54:33,479 --> 00:54:36,105
So, are you with the bride
or the boobs-- the groom?
1028
00:54:36,190 --> 00:54:38,191
I'm with the groom, honeycakes.
1029
00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:39,359
Slut!
1030
00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:42,028
Please, Mildred,
don't make a scene.
1031
00:54:42,112 --> 00:54:43,529
She seems nice.
1032
00:54:48,327 --> 00:54:50,828
So, Latrizza, I'm just saying,
1033
00:54:50,913 --> 00:54:52,789
he's a crazy, fugly sonofabitch,
1034
00:54:52,873 --> 00:54:55,041
but I'm gonna get all that money,
you know what I'm saying? Half!
1035
00:54:56,126 --> 00:54:58,670
Half, bitch, you
understand that shit? Half!
1036
00:55:00,631 --> 00:55:03,341
Darling, are you almost ready?
The guests are arriving.
1037
00:55:03,425 --> 00:55:05,051
Oh, I know you ain't talking to me.
1038
00:55:05,135 --> 00:55:06,886
Do I look motherfucking ready?
1039
00:55:06,971 --> 00:55:09,347
Yeah, you needs to
wait your ass outside. Shit!
1040
00:55:09,431 --> 00:55:12,517
No, I just thought that- that--
1041
00:55:12,601 --> 00:55:13,685
Thought what?
1042
00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:14,852
- Um--
- What?
1043
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:16,396
- Uh, um--
- What?
1044
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:20,066
Yo, spit that motherfucking shit
out or get out.
1045
00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:21,526
Please, sweetie pants,
1046
00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:23,653
your tone is distressing!
1047
00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:27,657
Special day.
Shrimp boat.
1048
00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:30,076
I'll be ready when I'm goddamn ready.
1049
00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:31,369
Yo, is this the way you gonna be,
1050
00:55:31,453 --> 00:55:32,996
acting like a fool and shit?
1051
00:55:34,331 --> 00:55:35,999
Act a fool?
1052
00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:38,167
No, cupcake.
1053
00:55:40,879 --> 00:55:43,506
I'm gonna act like this!
1054
00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:54,434
Is there something
you'd like to say, Otto?
1055
00:55:54,518 --> 00:55:56,811
I'll save my comments for later, sir.
1056
00:55:56,895 --> 00:55:59,272
Then get this frozen
bitch to the altar!
1057
00:56:00,649 --> 00:56:03,109
Oh my God,
these pierogies taste like shit!
1058
00:56:03,193 --> 00:56:04,777
Here, you try them.
1059
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:08,114
Time to blend in and mingle.
1060
00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:12,118
Holy mother jugs!
Look at those ass flaps!
1061
00:56:12,202 --> 00:56:16,122
Hey there, hot pants.
Let's get nude.
1062
00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:18,041
Take a picture.
It'll last longer.
1063
00:56:18,125 --> 00:56:20,835
Whoa! Hey, Suzi.
1064
00:56:20,919 --> 00:56:22,503
Creepy. Incest.
1065
00:56:25,007 --> 00:56:28,384
Places, people. Places, everyone!
1066
00:56:28,469 --> 00:56:32,138
The wedding
is about to begin!
1067
00:56:32,222 --> 00:56:34,849
All right, hotshot.
Why am I at a wedding?
1068
00:56:34,933 --> 00:56:39,854
Admit it, this was always
about P-U-S-S-Y, huh?
1069
00:56:39,938 --> 00:56:41,939
- Wasn't it?
- Well, no!
1070
00:56:42,024 --> 00:56:45,151
No. I mean, it was,
it was-- agh!
1071
00:56:45,235 --> 00:56:47,612
Then it wasn't.
It might be again, but--
1072
00:56:47,696 --> 00:56:50,114
Agh! listen, listen!
1073
00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:52,909
Dr. Satan is Steve Wachowski,
1074
00:56:52,993 --> 00:56:56,162
and if he marries this broad
we're all toast.
1075
00:56:56,246 --> 00:57:00,166
Steve Wachowski? Why does
that name make my panties cringe?
1076
00:57:00,250 --> 00:57:02,585
You know, I mean
if I wore panties.
1077
00:57:02,669 --> 00:57:06,631
Does the phrase, "Eat me, I'm
your love muffin" ring any bells?
1078
00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:09,258
I think I just threw up
in my mouth a little.
1079
00:57:09,343 --> 00:57:12,095
This demented maniac
must be stopped!
1080
00:57:12,179 --> 00:57:14,097
Uh, what do we do?
1081
00:57:14,181 --> 00:57:16,015
Whoa!
1082
00:57:23,649 --> 00:57:25,483
Oh!
1083
00:57:25,567 --> 00:57:27,193
Hey, baby, show me your tits.
1084
00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:30,196
Madam, please keep your
meat pillows contained.
1085
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:31,280
You ain't the boss of me.
1086
00:57:31,365 --> 00:57:32,824
Nice!
1087
00:57:32,908 --> 00:57:34,075
All right, they're out.
1088
00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:40,998
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
1089
00:57:41,083 --> 00:57:45,253
to join these two begotten
souls in unholy matrimony.
1090
00:57:45,337 --> 00:57:47,130
Some tears would be nice.
1091
00:57:47,214 --> 00:57:51,217
Anyway, here we will
marry Dr. Wachowski--
1092
00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:53,219
I mean Satan--
1093
00:57:53,303 --> 00:57:55,680
- and his big-titted...
- Excuse me, bro,
1094
00:57:55,764 --> 00:57:58,391
don't you think we should be out
kicking some Satanic ass right now?
1095
00:57:58,475 --> 00:58:00,726
I'm telling you, this plan is foolproof.
1096
00:58:00,811 --> 00:58:04,230
All I've got to do is pull this rope
before they get to the "I do's."
1097
00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:07,233
Hey, come on, have I ever
let you down before?
1098
00:58:07,317 --> 00:58:09,986
Well, there was that one time
when you left me to fly solo
1099
00:58:10,070 --> 00:58:12,363
against the dreaded man-eating
alligator men of Venus.
1100
00:58:12,447 --> 00:58:13,781
Ring a bell?
1101
00:58:13,866 --> 00:58:17,034
Ow! I told you, I missed my flight.
1102
00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:20,454
They overbooked first class.
I refuse to fly coach.
1103
00:58:20,539 --> 00:58:24,500
You know I can't have
my public see me like that.
1104
00:58:24,585 --> 00:58:28,588
Other than that my record
is clean as a whistle.
1105
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:32,258
If there is anyone among you
that believes
1106
00:58:32,342 --> 00:58:33,843
this wedding should not
take place,
1107
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:37,638
speak now or forever
hold your peace.
1108
00:58:39,183 --> 00:58:41,392
Then there was the time
you overslept
1109
00:58:41,476 --> 00:58:43,019
and missed the massacre
of the vampire women.
1110
00:58:43,103 --> 00:58:45,438
Does that one ring a bell?
Ding dong?
1111
00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:47,607
Clearly not my fault.
1112
00:58:47,691 --> 00:58:50,526
I set that clock to AM.
1113
00:58:52,779 --> 00:58:54,572
Do you, Velvet von Black,
1114
00:58:54,656 --> 00:58:59,410
take, um, this well-read
horror of a man
1115
00:58:59,494 --> 00:59:01,829
to be your
frightening husband?
1116
00:59:01,914 --> 00:59:05,249
Do I look stupid?
I mean, you know I do!
1117
00:59:05,334 --> 00:59:06,292
I love him!
1118
00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:09,420
Dr. Satan, do you take Velvet von Black
1119
00:59:09,504 --> 00:59:11,631
as your unlawfully wedded whore--
1120
00:59:11,715 --> 00:59:13,299
I mean wife?
1121
00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:15,593
I do!
1122
00:59:15,677 --> 00:59:17,762
- Wait. Did you hear something?
- Pull it!
1123
00:59:17,846 --> 00:59:21,307
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
1124
00:59:21,391 --> 00:59:23,017
Look out!
1125
00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:26,270
# This scene is so familiar #
1126
00:59:26,355 --> 00:59:29,649
# Like I've seen it once before #
1127
00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:34,111
# Was it in a dream
or another life? #
1128
00:59:34,196 --> 00:59:38,032
# I'm really not sure #
1129
00:59:38,116 --> 00:59:40,868
# Wait, it's coming to me #
1130
00:59:40,953 --> 00:59:43,246
# I think I got it #
1131
00:59:43,330 --> 00:59:46,707
# Ooh, why'd you
have to rip off "Carrie"? #
1132
00:59:49,878 --> 00:59:53,130
# Since the movie started #
1133
00:59:53,215 --> 00:59:57,677
# This part is the most retarded #
1134
00:59:57,761 --> 01:00:02,431
# Why, why'd you
have to rip off "Carrie"? #
1135
01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:08,354
# With the sound effect
and the split-screen thing #
1136
01:00:08,438 --> 01:00:12,358
# Did you ask DePalma
or Stephen King #
1137
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:16,237
# If you could
rip off "Carrie"? #
1138
01:00:16,321 --> 01:00:18,864
Oh, yeah. Nice play, Shakespeare.
1139
01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:20,950
Uh, yeah.
1140
01:00:21,034 --> 01:00:23,160
Not exactly what I had in mind.
1141
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:26,372
Okey-dokey, artichokey.
1142
01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:28,374
Time to do this my way!
Hah!
1143
01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:30,376
Hmm?
1144
01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:31,460
Cowa-ya--
1145
01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:37,842
You're too late!
1146
01:00:37,926 --> 01:00:41,387
Satan boombaye!
Satan boombaye!
1147
01:00:41,471 --> 01:00:44,890
Wake up, Beasto!
You're earth's only hope!
1148
01:00:44,975 --> 01:00:46,892
Caramels are chewy.
1149
01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:59,322
Now my dream has come true!
1150
01:00:59,406 --> 01:01:01,991
Steve Wachowski, vice-president
of the chess club,
1151
01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:07,038
and Suzi X, homecoming queen
together at last!
1152
01:01:07,122 --> 01:01:09,707
Hey, loosen up, man.
You're crushing my titties!
1153
01:01:13,962 --> 01:01:16,505
Oh, no he didn't!
I'm gonna get you, ho!
1154
01:01:59,383 --> 01:02:00,966
Holy mother of God!
1155
01:02:04,679 --> 01:02:07,640
Santa Claus is dead.
1156
01:02:07,724 --> 01:02:09,975
- Evil wins.
- Yeah!
1157
01:02:10,060 --> 01:02:12,436
Is-- stop that back there!
1158
01:02:12,521 --> 01:02:15,564
Is there anyone
who can save us now?
1159
01:02:24,449 --> 01:02:25,825
There they are.
I see them.
1160
01:02:25,909 --> 01:02:27,243
What?
Give me those.
1161
01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:28,285
Ow!
1162
01:02:28,370 --> 01:02:32,415
That two-timing playa wannabe
pimp-ass son of a bitch!
1163
01:02:32,499 --> 01:02:34,375
I'm gonna beat his dumb red ass.
1164
01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:41,424
This is nice, isn't it?
1165
01:02:41,508 --> 01:02:44,009
Just the two of us reminiscing
about the good old days.
1166
01:02:46,096 --> 01:02:51,392
Oh, it's like we're back in homeroom
all over again!
1167
01:02:51,476 --> 01:02:53,519
Eww! Hands off, Dr. Perv!
1168
01:02:53,603 --> 01:02:56,564
Say, here's a real blast
from your past.
1169
01:02:56,648 --> 01:02:59,733
# If you love blueberries,
kiss my toes #
1170
01:02:59,818 --> 01:03:02,862
# If you like apple sauce,
lick my nose #
1171
01:03:02,946 --> 01:03:06,532
# If you've got an appetite for
some sticky-sweet huffin' and puffin'... #
1172
01:03:06,616 --> 01:03:09,535
# Well, then, baby, eat me up! #
1173
01:03:09,619 --> 01:03:11,954
# I said eat me up #
1174
01:03:12,038 --> 01:03:15,541
# I'm your real love muffin! #
1175
01:03:17,043 --> 01:03:20,629
Put the ho down!
1176
01:03:23,425 --> 01:03:27,845
I said back away
from that stank-ass ho!
1177
01:03:27,929 --> 01:03:30,473
What? Who you calling
a stank-ass ho?
1178
01:03:30,557 --> 01:03:32,933
Well, it must be you, bitch.
1179
01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:36,729
You're the only stank-ass
brokedown ho I see.
1180
01:03:38,231 --> 01:03:40,566
Excuse me, Dr. Satan.
1181
01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:43,068
Would you mind putting me down
for a moment, please?
1182
01:03:43,153 --> 01:03:47,198
I really don't think that that's--
1183
01:03:47,282 --> 01:03:50,576
- Sweet baby mother!
- I said put me down!
1184
01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:52,286
Yes, dear.
1185
01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:57,166
Yo, what was that, be-atch?
1186
01:03:57,250 --> 01:03:58,209
Do I stutter?
1187
01:03:58,293 --> 01:03:59,752
All right!
Cat fight!
1188
01:03:59,836 --> 01:04:01,462
# Pull my hair,
I'll pull your hair #
1189
01:04:01,546 --> 01:04:04,507
# They'll struggle to the pavement
at the cat fight #
1190
01:04:04,591 --> 01:04:06,383
# Cat fight #
1191
01:04:06,468 --> 01:04:08,719
Is it wrong this is turning me on?
1192
01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:10,596
- # Hey there, mister, that's your sister #
- Come on, blondie...
1193
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:13,599
# Boner's are a poppin'
at the cat fight #
1194
01:04:13,683 --> 01:04:15,184
# Cat fight #
1195
01:04:15,268 --> 01:04:17,686
# All will want to poke you when
the blonde chick goes to choke you #
1196
01:04:17,771 --> 01:04:20,898
# At the cat fight. #
1197
01:04:20,982 --> 01:04:24,735
# It's all right to
jerk off to cartoons #
1198
01:04:24,819 --> 01:04:27,863
# The Japanese do it every day #
1199
01:04:27,948 --> 01:04:32,284
# So rub one out for the U.S.A. #
1200
01:04:32,369 --> 01:04:33,911
# The U.S.A. #
1201
01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:36,830
Ooh, you're gonna get it!
1202
01:04:46,716 --> 01:04:48,050
- # Pull the leg back, hear it crack #
- Owee!
1203
01:04:48,134 --> 01:04:51,262
Say my name, bitch!
Feel that shit, Mamita!
1204
01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:53,264
# Bite the ass #
1205
01:04:53,348 --> 01:04:54,390
# Jump up, gonna kick you back #
1206
01:04:54,474 --> 01:04:57,851
Splish splash... #
1207
01:04:57,936 --> 01:05:01,063
Takenzie her top offen!
Show us her boobies!
1208
01:05:01,147 --> 01:05:06,151
# 'Cause masturbation's
good for your prostate #
1209
01:05:06,236 --> 01:05:10,948
# It lowers blood pressure
and it helps you sleep #
1210
01:05:11,032 --> 01:05:13,659
# U.S.A. #
1211
01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:16,078
# Watch where you're a-steppin' #
1212
01:05:16,162 --> 01:05:19,331
# You better grab a weapon
at the cat fight #
1213
01:05:19,416 --> 01:05:22,293
# Cat fight #
1214
01:05:23,878 --> 01:05:25,296
# Time to fuckin' take her #
1215
01:05:25,380 --> 01:05:30,342
# Punch her in the babymaker
at the ca-at #
1216
01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:33,971
# Fight #
1217
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:36,599
# Cat #
1218
01:05:36,683 --> 01:05:37,641
# Fight #
1219
01:05:37,726 --> 01:05:38,684
# Cat fight #
1220
01:05:38,768 --> 01:05:40,769
# Cat fight cat fight
cat fight cat fight cat fight #
1221
01:05:44,941 --> 01:05:47,192
# Cat fight. #
1222
01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:49,570
Who's the ho now, bitch?
1223
01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:53,699
And the new Mrs. Satan by T.K.O.
in the first round,
1224
01:05:53,783 --> 01:05:56,410
Suzi X!
1225
01:05:56,436 --> 01:05:59,705
You gonna leave
Velvet von Black?
1226
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:03,250
Fuck you all!
I got a pre-nup!
1227
01:06:03,335 --> 01:06:04,877
Half!
1228
01:06:06,796 --> 01:06:08,672
Null and void.
1229
01:06:11,509 --> 01:06:14,887
Oh, Doctor, you
don't look so good.
1230
01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:17,723
I think you got a little something
something going on upstairs.
1231
01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:19,642
What the hell?
1232
01:06:19,726 --> 01:06:22,811
- According to the handbook--
- Handbook?
1233
01:06:22,896 --> 01:06:27,107
Really? Is that the best that you--
and by you I mean the writers--
1234
01:06:27,192 --> 01:06:29,318
could come up with?
Hey, Shakespeare,
1235
01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:32,112
the strike's over.
Now get back to work.
1236
01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:35,032
All right, let's get this over with.
1237
01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:37,743
You had that book and
you never said a thing?
1238
01:06:37,827 --> 01:06:41,288
You idiot!
1239
01:06:41,373 --> 01:06:42,331
Give me that!
1240
01:06:42,415 --> 01:06:44,500
"Dr. Satan will shrink
back to normal size
1241
01:06:44,584 --> 01:06:47,127
if he squashes his unholy bride
with the heel of his cloven hoof
1242
01:06:47,212 --> 01:06:49,338
- under a crescent moon...
- Wazzup?
1243
01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:52,216
...as an albino Barry Manilow lookalike
warbles through "Copacabana"
1244
01:06:52,300 --> 01:06:54,343
under a shower of rainbow sparkles
1245
01:06:54,427 --> 01:06:57,763
while a disgustingly cute kitten
screams a Moroccan death chant.
1246
01:06:57,847 --> 01:06:59,765
Great. Now here are we gonna
find a kitten like that?
1247
01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:02,351
Hey, buddy, I don't want to be rude,
1248
01:07:02,435 --> 01:07:04,895
but I was, like, staring at your crotch,
1249
01:07:04,979 --> 01:07:07,690
and it seems like
your package is purring.
1250
01:07:07,774 --> 01:07:09,775
Hey-oh!
1251
01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:12,403
Come on, get me
the fuck out of here!
1252
01:07:17,325 --> 01:07:18,784
I stand corrected.
1253
01:07:21,830 --> 01:07:22,788
Ow ow ow ow ow ow!
1254
01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:25,040
I got you, Suzi!
1255
01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:27,334
Thanks, my big, metal
manboy machine!
1256
01:07:27,419 --> 01:07:30,170
That's me, Murray.
Murray loves Suzi.
1257
01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:32,798
So I'm a little smaller. So what?
1258
01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:34,967
I know how this
high school thing works.
1259
01:07:35,051 --> 01:07:36,802
I've got the homecoming queen
1260
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:40,764
and now it's time to put
the school bully in his place!
1261
01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:44,226
Medic.
1262
01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:45,894
Are we done now?
1263
01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:47,896
Yeah, I think so.
1264
01:07:52,777 --> 01:07:54,695
Oh, my blueberries!
1265
01:07:54,779 --> 01:07:59,241
And now a little smashing
of the old fuckface.
1266
01:08:05,999 --> 01:08:08,834
Eat this, love muffin.
1267
01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:13,088
Sir, might I suggest a bit
of the old Brixton 9000?
1268
01:08:13,173 --> 01:08:15,507
Oh!
1269
01:08:15,592 --> 01:08:17,676
Yeah!
1270
01:08:25,310 --> 01:08:27,770
What the hell you
lookin' at, bitch?
1271
01:08:27,854 --> 01:08:30,814
Eh, nada, mein homey.
1272
01:08:30,899 --> 01:08:33,108
Hey, that's Spanish!
1273
01:08:35,653 --> 01:08:38,489
Okay, I think what we
should do is, um--
1274
01:08:38,573 --> 01:08:39,865
Run!
1275
01:08:39,949 --> 01:08:43,327
Come on, Wilhelm, ride
it like you stole it!
1276
01:08:50,084 --> 01:08:52,461
Oi--
temporary setback.
1277
01:08:52,545 --> 01:08:54,963
Nothing a little ointment
won't fix.
1278
01:08:57,926 --> 01:08:59,051
Huh?
1279
01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:04,223
Oh, sweet heaven.
1280
01:09:09,270 --> 01:09:12,064
Well, I did it again.
1281
01:09:12,148 --> 01:09:15,025
Saving the world is like
riding a bicycle.
1282
01:09:15,109 --> 01:09:16,860
Oh, I know where this is going.
1283
01:09:16,945 --> 01:09:18,904
You really never forget
how it's done.
1284
01:09:18,988 --> 01:09:19,988
Come on, Murray,
let's go.
1285
01:09:20,073 --> 01:09:21,907
Some say it's my
superior strength.
1286
01:09:23,034 --> 01:09:25,911
Did you see how I--
1287
01:09:25,995 --> 01:09:26,954
Oh, well.
1288
01:09:27,038 --> 01:09:29,873
Ladies, anyone up for some
1289
01:09:29,958 --> 01:09:30,916
hot wings?
1290
01:09:33,795 --> 01:09:35,921
Welcome back to
"The Morris Green Show."
1291
01:09:36,005 --> 01:09:38,006
Ladies and gentlemen,
my next guest--
1292
01:09:38,091 --> 01:09:40,300
oh, he's a big favorite
of my wife Dodi.
1293
01:09:40,385 --> 01:09:44,513
She just loves to see two men
entwined in a sweaty embrace.
1294
01:09:44,597 --> 01:09:46,723
She also loves it when it's
in the wrestling ring.
1295
01:09:46,808 --> 01:09:49,518
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Superbeasto.
1296
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:52,563
Hello! Good to see you!
1297
01:09:53,815 --> 01:09:56,608
It's so great to have you here.
How do you do it?
1298
01:09:56,693 --> 01:09:58,944
Well, look, I don't want
to dwell on the fact
1299
01:09:59,028 --> 01:10:00,946
that I saved the planet again.
1300
01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:04,157
I mean, it's just what I do.
1301
01:10:04,242 --> 01:10:07,953
But you do have a new rock 'n' roll
compact disc, I understand.
1302
01:10:08,037 --> 01:10:10,289
Aw, where did you get that?
1303
01:10:10,373 --> 01:10:13,125
Well, your publicist sent it over.
1304
01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:15,419
It's just a little project
I put together
1305
01:10:15,503 --> 01:10:18,463
with a certain group known as--
1306
01:10:18,548 --> 01:10:20,591
Loverboy!
1307
01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:37,983
# Everyone's watchin' #
1308
01:10:38,067 --> 01:10:42,362
# To see what you will do #
1309
01:10:42,447 --> 01:10:45,532
- # Everyone's... #
- Hurry! You're missing it.
1310
01:10:45,617 --> 01:10:47,117
Cool your jets, Mr. Roboto.
1311
01:10:47,201 --> 01:10:48,911
I've seen it all before.
1312
01:10:50,038 --> 01:10:53,790
I heard somebody's been
a naughty little mechanical boy
1313
01:10:53,875 --> 01:10:55,792
and needs some serious discipline.
1314
01:10:55,877 --> 01:10:58,003
Oh my God!
1315
01:11:00,256 --> 01:11:03,008
I see someone's
in the mood for love!
1316
01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:05,385
Functions not functioning!
1317
01:11:05,470 --> 01:11:10,015
Now, let's try out those
new special modifications.
1318
01:11:10,099 --> 01:11:14,102
Yes, Mistress Suzi,
whatever you say.
1319
01:11:16,731 --> 01:11:18,690
Fasten your seatbelt, Murray.
1320
01:11:18,775 --> 01:11:20,651
It's gonna be a bumpy night!
1321
01:11:20,735 --> 01:11:25,030
- Yeah, baby! Whoo!
- Oh boy!
1322
01:11:25,114 --> 01:11:27,032
- Oh, man!
- Yeah, baby!
1323
01:11:27,116 --> 01:11:29,034
- Never stop! Never never!
- Baby, faster!
1324
01:11:29,118 --> 01:11:31,453
# Everyone's lookin' #
1325
01:11:31,537 --> 01:11:35,916
# To see if it was you #
1326
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:37,042
# Everyone wants... #
1327
01:11:37,126 --> 01:11:39,419
Oh, God, give me strength.
1328
01:11:39,504 --> 01:11:43,840
Why do you subject me
to this meaningless drivel
1329
01:11:43,925 --> 01:11:45,050
night after night?
1330
01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:47,010
At least put on BBC 1.
1331
01:11:47,095 --> 01:11:50,055
There's a riveting history
of Lord Byron's teacup collection--
1332
01:11:50,139 --> 01:11:53,141
Quick talking like a book, monkey.
You ain't here to talk.
1333
01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:02,943
Put your filthy paws on me,
you damn dirty ape!
1334
01:12:03,027 --> 01:12:05,654
Aagh! What the fuck?
1335
01:12:05,738 --> 01:12:07,614
Don't break a bitch!
1336
01:12:07,699 --> 01:12:11,201
# Come on, baby, let's go! #
1337
01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:18,750
Hey, it's you again.
1338
01:12:18,835 --> 01:12:20,794
We gotta stop
meeting like this.
1339
01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:24,089
Did you like the movie?
My part was pretty good.
1340
01:12:24,173 --> 01:12:28,427
I could have done without
all the potty humor.
1341
01:12:28,511 --> 01:12:32,389
Instead of a punchline,
they just flash some titties.
1342
01:12:34,350 --> 01:12:36,810
Not that I'm complaining.
1343
01:12:36,894 --> 01:12:39,604
I haven't seen a set
of whoppers like that
1344
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:42,107
since Ava Gardner.
What a rack!
1345
01:12:43,693 --> 01:12:45,902
Okey-dokey, smokey,
I guess that's it.
1346
01:12:45,987 --> 01:12:48,572
You really should go now.
Yeah.
1347
01:12:49,741 --> 01:12:52,200
No no no.
You should really go now.
1348
01:12:54,203 --> 01:12:57,706
Okay. All right,
you asked for it.
1349
01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:02,711
Howdy, folks!
My name's Betty Sue Lou
1350
01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:06,673
and it's my great pleasure to
introduce tonight's special guests.
1351
01:13:06,758 --> 01:13:09,301
Straight from their two-night stand
at the Barn Door
1352
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:11,344
Exit 7 off Route 91 in Ruggsville--
1353
01:13:11,429 --> 01:13:14,222
all-you-can-eat fish popper Mondays--
kids love their poppers--
1354
01:13:14,307 --> 01:13:17,142
here they are, the one and only
1355
01:13:17,226 --> 01:13:21,104
Banjo and Sullivan!
Yee-ha!
1356
01:13:21,189 --> 01:13:24,149
# Liquored up in Jackson
after the show #
1357
01:13:24,233 --> 01:13:28,320
# Bucket full of wild oats
I had to sow #
1358
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:31,823
# Promoter said he knew
just where I should go #
1359
01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:35,744
# Hundreds of women
for old Adam Banjo! #
1360
01:13:35,828 --> 01:13:38,205
Oh, fuck me! Just get
me out of here!
1361
01:13:38,289 --> 01:13:42,167
# 1,000 pickup trucks
in a gravel parking lot #
1362
01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:46,088
# Looked at my roadie,
said, "Ready or not!" #
1363
01:13:46,172 --> 01:13:48,090
# Splashed on Hai Karate #
1364
01:13:48,174 --> 01:13:49,966
# Ready to run my race #
1365
01:13:50,051 --> 01:13:54,179
# Took a look around, there wasn't
no woman in the place #
1366
01:13:54,263 --> 01:13:56,056
# Dick soup #
1367
01:13:56,140 --> 01:13:57,891
# Cock salad #
1368
01:13:57,975 --> 01:13:59,601
# Can't sing a ballad #
1369
01:13:59,685 --> 01:14:01,520
# Don't give a hoot #
1370
01:14:01,604 --> 01:14:03,522
# Dick soup #
1371
01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:12,239
# Dick soup-- #
1372
01:14:15,368 --> 01:14:19,371
All right, Pops, I think it's about time
I end this fiasco of a picture show.
1373
01:14:19,455 --> 01:14:21,289
Say goodnight, Gracie.
1374
01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:27,212
Come on, Mama, let's boogie.
1375
01:14:27,296 --> 01:14:29,464
Oh dear, that's going to leave a mark.
1376
01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:03,910
Make room for Daddy!
1377
01:17:03,995 --> 01:17:06,538
Cow-a-yah!
1378
01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:08,999
Oh, hello, Officer.
Don't pull me over now.
1379
01:17:09,083 --> 01:17:10,333
Nice tools.
1380
01:17:10,418 --> 01:17:12,419
- Hah.
- Where's your casino?
1381
01:17:12,503 --> 01:17:14,129
Take a look at this guy.
1382
01:17:14,213 --> 01:17:15,922
Those chaps should be illegal.
1383
01:17:16,007 --> 01:17:18,383
Hey, ain't this great,
1384
01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:21,344
a bunch of guys can get together
and dance without being all gay?
1385
01:17:21,429 --> 01:17:25,390
Oh! Hey, easy, pal.
I'm not being no fucking cowboy.
1386
01:17:27,226 --> 01:17:28,226
Bitch.