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We got one patient ready to come up.

2
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Just step that way to the

3
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dispense room.

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How's it going?

5
00:00:14,201 --> 00:00:15,371
Good, how you doing?

6
00:00:15,371 --> 00:00:16,842
Welcome to the health center.

7
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:19,381
Thanks.

8
00:00:19,381 --> 00:00:20,919
Nice to be here.

9
00:00:20,919 --> 00:00:24,193
So, like, how would I even begin

10
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to decide which kind to choose?

11
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:30,844
It depends on your level of

12
00:00:30,844 --> 00:00:31,446
tolerance.

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00:00:31,446 --> 00:00:32,883
If you're a first-time patient,

14
00:00:32,883 --> 00:00:34,253
you've never tried it before,

15
00:00:34,253 --> 00:00:35,456
you might want to go with

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something a little bit lighter.

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It'll give you more of a body high.

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Just a little something to give

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00:00:40,302 --> 00:00:41,405
you the feel of how it's gonna be.

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The purples are more, like, if

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you have problems sleeping and

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back pains at night, you're real

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uncomfortable -the purples

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will put you to sleep.

25
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The real strong, more potent ones.

26
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They're the more potent ones.

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So the 45 automates -those are

28
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the ones that you know you're

29
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gonna get the feeling of it.

30
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I feel high just thinking

31
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about all this.

32
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I'm gonna bring out your next

33
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comic now.

34
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He's very funny.

35
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He's been on VH1.

36
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Let's give it up for

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Mr. Doug Benson.

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[Cheers and applause]

39
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I saw that movie

40
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"Super Size Me" when I was high.

41
00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:57,670
Mistake!

42
00:01:57,670 --> 00:02:00,377
That is fucked up, you know?

43
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'Cause the premise of that movie

44
00:02:02,115 --> 00:02:03,886
is that it's bad to eat a lot of

45
00:02:03,886 --> 00:02:05,390
McDonald's, and I'm sitting

46
00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:07,094
there all high, like, thinking,

47
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,899
"oh, I could go for a hot apple

48
00:02:08,899 --> 00:02:12,609
or a frenchie at this point.

49
00:02:12,609 --> 00:02:14,147
Hook me up, man."

50
00:02:14,147 --> 00:02:16,819
And he's just gorging it all on

51
00:02:16,819 --> 00:02:18,524
himself, and then throwing up,

52
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and -ugh, it's disgusting,

53
00:02:20,128 --> 00:02:21,732
that movie.

54
00:02:21,732 --> 00:02:23,604
If that's a movie -if eating

55
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McDonald's for 30 days is a

56
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movie and people are willing to

57
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:29,018
pay to see it, I've got a movie.

58
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I'm gonna smoke pot every day

59
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for 30 days, try to remember to

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film it, and my movie's gonna be

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called "Super High Me" -or

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"Business As Usual," I haven't

63
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decided yet on the title.

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So that started out as a joke in

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my act, and then a filmmaker --

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I'm using the term loosely --

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saw me say that, and we had a

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discussion, and we're really

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fucking doing it.

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Doug Benson -stand-up

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comedian, noted pot smoker.

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In fact, high times magazine

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recently named Doug the

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number-two pot comic in the

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country, but that doesn't put

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Doug Benson above the law.

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So how can this be possible?

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In 1996, the citizens of

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California passed

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proposition 215, which allows

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patients to use cannabis for

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medical purposes if they get a

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recommendation from their doctor.

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Common uses for medical cannabis

85
00:03:32,417 --> 00:03:35,123
include chronic pain, HIV/AIDS,

86
00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:36,860
depression, nausea, or a medical

87
00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:38,398
condition your doctor thinks is
appropriate.

88
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Keep in mind the effects of

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00:03:41,139 --> 00:03:43,278
marijuana vary with every user.

90
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This is the story of just one

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patient, and despite years of

92
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marijuana use, even the

93
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number-two pot comic in the

94
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country has no idea what's going

95
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to happen when he gets super high.

96
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I'm not getting high every

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day for 30 days yet because

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there's a catch.

99
00:04:01,692 --> 00:04:03,965
I have to not get high for 30

100
00:04:03,965 --> 00:04:06,371
days before getting high for 30

101
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:09,513
days to show how awful it is

102
00:04:09,513 --> 00:04:11,952
when I can't get high at all to

103
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,824
contrast with how awesome the

104
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next 30 days are gonna be, so I

105
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have to not smoke for 30 days,

106
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and that's gonna start at the

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beginning of August.

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# Yeah #

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[bell dings]

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# Yo #

111
00:04:29,063 --> 00:04:30,568
# I should be sleeping all the

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way still #

113
00:04:31,503 --> 00:04:32,506
# rolling with the beat and

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this, that, them, there #

115
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# couldn't help but stay up

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00:04:34,945 --> 00:04:36,282
and jot down some stuff #

117
00:04:36,282 --> 00:04:38,321
so how do you feel first day?

118
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,259
So far, so good.

119
00:04:47,979 --> 00:04:49,583
Boy, that hat made me want to

120
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smoke pot.

121
00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:56,468
Everything reminds me of pot now

122
00:04:56,468 --> 00:05:01,146
that I can't have it.

123
00:05:01,146 --> 00:05:02,484
Traffic lights...

124
00:05:02,484 --> 00:05:04,555
[chuckles]

125
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:07,664
...when they're green.

126
00:05:07,664 --> 00:05:10,203
[Bell dings]

127
00:05:10,337 --> 00:05:12,510
I may be hospitalized, I think.

128
00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:13,378
Really?

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I think so.

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00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:15,116
Are you saying that to be

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funny, or do you really believe that?

132
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I really believe that.

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Why do you believe you'll be

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hospitalized?

135
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,734
It's gonna be nasty, smoking

136
00:05:21,734 --> 00:05:23,171
all day, every day, for 30 days.

137
00:05:23,171 --> 00:05:24,974
I've never smoked --

138
00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:26,947
lot of pot, but I've never,

139
00:05:26,947 --> 00:05:28,919
like, day and night for every

140
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day for 30 days.

141
00:05:31,892 --> 00:05:33,464
So I'm a little scared.

142
00:05:33,464 --> 00:05:35,268
But how awesome would it be if

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00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,673
it fucking killed me?

144
00:05:36,673 --> 00:05:38,075
[Audience laughs]

145
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That Spurlock movie would be the

146
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best movie ever made if he just

147
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died at one point during it.

148
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Fucking grizzly-man style.

149
00:05:49,071 --> 00:05:51,411
Supposedly, your depression

150
00:05:51,411 --> 00:05:54,653
is going to kick in today, if

151
00:05:54,653 --> 00:05:57,225
it's going to kick in, so they

152
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said take this test.

153
00:05:58,763 --> 00:06:00,968
Right, but the only answer I

154
00:06:00,968 --> 00:06:03,543
can give is "rarely."

155
00:06:03,543 --> 00:06:05,146
No, but you would examine --

156
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'cause it's only been one day.

157
00:06:06,984 --> 00:06:08,121
That's okay.

158
00:06:08,254 --> 00:06:10,025
It's how you felt over the past

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week, even though you were smoking.

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Now we're gonna go, and we're

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gonna take the same test in

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another week, and that'll be

163
00:06:18,582 --> 00:06:20,385
when you're not smoking.

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I just don't -I'm bored

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with this one.

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'Cause I spent the last week

167
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some days smoking, some days

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00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,774
not, and I barely remember what happened.

169
00:06:32,116 --> 00:06:34,824
So this is day two, and I'm doing great.

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So far, it's fucking not a problem.

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I can totally not smoke pot for

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two days.

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I'm just writing "rarely" on

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every one of these.

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That's taking it real seriously.

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Well, I can't even begin -I

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spent the weekend getting

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fucking crazy high all weekend.

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00:06:52,771 --> 00:06:53,673
I can't remember --

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00:06:53,673 --> 00:06:55,076
Well, did you feel fearful at

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00:06:55,076 --> 00:06:56,413
all during the last seven days?

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I don't remember!

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00:06:57,449 --> 00:06:58,752
Maybe, like if I saw a cop

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coming or something.

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I don't know.

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00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:01,894
Did you have any crying spells.

187
00:07:02,863 --> 00:07:03,431
No.

188
00:07:03,431 --> 00:07:04,099
Okay.

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00:07:04,099 --> 00:07:05,905
Did you feel hopeful about the future?

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I might have.

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00:07:11,452 --> 00:07:13,323
These are mostly feelings that I

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00:07:13,323 --> 00:07:18,269
don't have ever.

193
00:07:18,269 --> 00:07:20,008
Over the course of the two

194
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30-day periods, we're gonna do

195
00:07:21,979 --> 00:07:23,952
lots of tests, like IQ Tests

196
00:07:23,952 --> 00:07:26,825
and lung capacity and just a

197
00:07:26,825 --> 00:07:29,264
bunch of tests, and one of them

198
00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:31,037
is gonna be -they're gonna

199
00:07:31,037 --> 00:07:32,908
check my sperm count, and by

200
00:07:32,908 --> 00:07:34,946
"they," I mean I'm hoping it's a

201
00:07:34,946 --> 00:07:36,083
doctor, and...

202
00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:38,556
[laughs]

203
00:07:38,556 --> 00:07:39,893
I hope it's just not a guy with

204
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a lot of plastic cups that he's

205
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:44,303
not using.

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00:07:44,303 --> 00:07:46,443
They're gonna check my sperm

207
00:07:46,443 --> 00:07:49,216
count, and so my first sperm

208
00:07:49,216 --> 00:07:51,055
check is coming up in three

209
00:07:51,055 --> 00:07:53,195
days, on Thursday, and the thing

210
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about getting your sperm checked

211
00:07:54,832 --> 00:07:59,778
is you can't masturbate or

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ejaculate into a lady for -or

213
00:08:03,553 --> 00:08:07,131
whatever your thing is -for

214
00:08:07,131 --> 00:08:08,667
three days.

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00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:10,172
Three days, and it started

216
00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:12,043
today, so I'm, like, so much

217
00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:13,614
more upset that I can't

218
00:08:13,614 --> 00:08:15,786
masturbate for three days than I

219
00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:19,262
can't smoke pot for 30, because

220
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I'm not looking at pot on the

221
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:24,675
internet every day.

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00:08:24,675 --> 00:08:26,079
It was almost as funny as

223
00:08:26,079 --> 00:08:27,015
when you're high.

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00:08:27,015 --> 00:08:28,586
I could tell, but they couldn't.

225
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Untrained eye couldn't tell, but

226
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I could tell.

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00:08:30,926 --> 00:08:32,229
It was still good, though.

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00:08:32,229 --> 00:08:33,599
Well, I'm glad you still

229
00:08:33,599 --> 00:08:34,201
liked it.

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00:08:34,201 --> 00:08:35,637
The prohibition against

231
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marijuana began in 1937.

232
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Since then, in order to obtain

233
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your medicine, you had to visit

234
00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:43,892
"a guy," but with the passing of

235
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Proposition 215, California

236
00:08:45,697 --> 00:08:47,735
citizens are allowed to open up

237
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,173
retail shops known as

238
00:08:49,173 --> 00:08:51,044
dispensaries to legally sell

239
00:08:51,044 --> 00:08:53,116
cannabis to qualified patients.

240
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,155
To repeat that for the stoners

241
00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:57,227
showing up late, in California,

242
00:08:57,227 --> 00:08:59,132
you can legally buy pot in a

243
00:08:59,132 --> 00:09:01,271
store like you're buying beer or cookies.

244
00:09:07,955 --> 00:09:09,659
# Da da da da da da da dum

245
00:09:09,659 --> 00:09:10,662
dum dum #

246
00:09:10,662 --> 00:09:12,099
right now, it's just a

247
00:09:12,099 --> 00:09:14,104
free-for-all.

248
00:09:14,104 --> 00:09:15,875
It's the wild west?

249
00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:17,479
Wild, wild west.

250
00:09:17,479 --> 00:09:19,351
And I'm Jesse James, I guess,

251
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,189
right now.

252
00:09:21,189 --> 00:09:23,362
It's really stressful, me being

253
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:26,636
in this for about a year now.

254
00:09:26,636 --> 00:09:28,442
Man, when I started, there was,

255
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,812
like, four of us.

256
00:09:29,812 --> 00:09:31,549
First-time patient?

257
00:09:31,549 --> 00:09:34,090
Come on in.

258
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:35,092
Yeah, come on in.

259
00:09:35,092 --> 00:09:36,528
Hey, how's it going, chief?

260
00:09:36,528 --> 00:09:37,665
Can I get your i.d.?

261
00:09:37,665 --> 00:09:40,005
Yes, sir.

262
00:09:40,005 --> 00:09:41,809
[Singing indistinctly]

263
00:09:41,809 --> 00:09:43,381
What are you looking for?

264
00:09:43,381 --> 00:09:44,016
Sativa?

265
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:44,784
Hybrid.

266
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:45,586
Hybrid?

267
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:46,654
Any codominant?

268
00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:47,591
What you got?

269
00:09:47,591 --> 00:09:49,362
This a pain type of thing, or

270
00:09:49,362 --> 00:09:52,303
you just want the head to be up?

271
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,066
These are two jokes that I've

272
00:10:29,066 --> 00:10:30,769
written since I stopped getting

273
00:10:30,769 --> 00:10:33,209
high three days ago.

274
00:10:33,209 --> 00:10:37,588
Just to show you where I'm at.

275
00:10:37,588 --> 00:10:40,762
And how important marijuana is

276
00:10:40,762 --> 00:10:42,500
to what I do.

277
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,970
"Why isn't there a

278
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:46,177
mildew-removal product called

279
00:10:46,177 --> 00:10:47,446
'mill-don't'?

280
00:10:47,446 --> 00:10:51,356
[Laughter]

281
00:10:51,356 --> 00:10:53,729
See, that's not too bad.

282
00:10:53,729 --> 00:10:57,607
I haven't lost it.

283
00:10:57,607 --> 00:10:58,509
[Laughs]

284
00:10:58,509 --> 00:10:59,679
And here's the other one.

285
00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:01,716
The new slogan for old navy --

286
00:11:01,716 --> 00:11:03,254
have you seen the new

287
00:11:03,254 --> 00:11:04,257
commercials?

288
00:11:04,257 --> 00:11:05,560
It's no longer, like, old TV

289
00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,530
stars being stupid.

290
00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:07,865
Now it's trying to be hip and

291
00:11:07,865 --> 00:11:10,273
cool and matrixy, and the slogan

292
00:11:10,273 --> 00:11:13,648
is "get your fash on."

293
00:11:13,648 --> 00:11:16,054
You know, "get your fash on!

294
00:11:16,054 --> 00:11:17,592
Get your fash on!"

295
00:11:17,592 --> 00:11:19,329
Which was probably -I was

296
00:11:19,329 --> 00:11:21,034
thinking it was probably a

297
00:11:21,034 --> 00:11:24,776
rejected slogan for fascism.

298
00:11:24,776 --> 00:11:26,381
When they were sitting around

299
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:27,851
coming up with slogans for

300
00:11:27,851 --> 00:11:29,590
fascism to try to get it off the

301
00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:31,227
ground, somebody's like, "how

302
00:11:31,227 --> 00:11:32,698
about 'get your fash on'?"

303
00:11:32,698 --> 00:11:34,000
"Get out of here.

304
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,137
That's stupid.

305
00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:36,841
We've decided to go with

306
00:11:36,841 --> 00:11:40,016
"fascism -watch what happens."

307
00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:41,821
There's a lot of people who

308
00:11:41,821 --> 00:11:43,559
smoke a lot of pot and have had

309
00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:45,364
quite a lot of success.

310
00:11:45,364 --> 00:11:47,670
I don't think one precludes the other.

311
00:11:48,939 --> 00:11:50,645
Just a different path, as they say.

312
00:12:08,289 --> 00:12:09,627
What's your opinion about

313
00:12:09,627 --> 00:12:10,562
medical marijuana?

314
00:12:10,562 --> 00:12:11,465
I'm just curious.

315
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:12,969
You're just curious what's my

316
00:12:12,969 --> 00:12:14,406
opinion about medical marijuana?

317
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,942
Well, there is no such thing as

318
00:12:15,942 --> 00:12:17,079
medical marijuana.

319
00:12:17,079 --> 00:12:19,586
In the '70s, the National

320
00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:21,223
Organization for the Reform of

321
00:12:21,223 --> 00:12:22,895
Marijuana Laws failed in their

322
00:12:22,895 --> 00:12:24,533
attempts to legalize marijuana

323
00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:26,236
for recreational purposes, much

324
00:12:26,236 --> 00:12:27,641
to my chagrin in college,

325
00:12:27,641 --> 00:12:29,110
because I did smoke, I did

326
00:12:29,110 --> 00:12:31,082
inhale, and I ate brownies.

327
00:12:31,216 --> 00:12:33,021
So then, what they did was very

328
00:12:33,021 --> 00:12:34,792
intelligently -they rewrapped

329
00:12:34,792 --> 00:12:35,762
their argument.

330
00:12:35,762 --> 00:12:37,532
They repackaged it as a medical

331
00:12:37,532 --> 00:12:39,337
argument because cannabinoids,

332
00:12:39,337 --> 00:12:41,209
like THC and other stuff -they

333
00:12:41,209 --> 00:12:42,947
do have some value medically,

334
00:12:42,947 --> 00:12:44,383
but not at all what the

335
00:12:44,383 --> 00:12:46,255
activists are saying they have.

336
00:12:46,255 --> 00:12:46,958
Right.

337
00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:48,461
When I wear my hat as a

338
00:12:48,461 --> 00:12:50,399
private citizen, I think our war

339
00:12:50,399 --> 00:12:52,271
on drugs has completely failed,

340
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,108
that marijuana should be legal

341
00:12:54,108 --> 00:12:55,981
for recreational purposes, and

342
00:12:55,981 --> 00:12:57,317
that's my private-citizen hat,

343
00:12:57,317 --> 00:12:58,687
but when you come to me and I'm

344
00:12:58,687 --> 00:12:59,824
wearing my little tie and

345
00:12:59,824 --> 00:13:01,160
stethoscope and playing doctor

346
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:05,005
here, do I ever ask a patient to

347
00:13:05,005 --> 00:13:06,742
inhale the crude combustion

348
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,814
products of a dried plant that I

349
00:13:08,814 --> 00:13:10,819
have no idea what else is in it,

350
00:13:10,819 --> 00:13:12,290
and I don't know what strength

351
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,693
you're getting -is it good shit?

352
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:14,997
Is it bad shit?

353
00:13:14,997 --> 00:13:16,400
Is it stuff that you grew on

354
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,871
your own, you got from Mexico,

355
00:13:17,871 --> 00:13:19,274
or did you get b.c. Bud from

356
00:13:19,274 --> 00:13:20,311
Colombia?

357
00:13:20,311 --> 00:13:22,148
What's in it?

358
00:13:22,148 --> 00:13:24,220
Okay, go ahead -blow.

359
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,359
[Air hisses]

360
00:13:26,359 --> 00:13:27,830
Keep going, keep going, even

361
00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:29,467
though you think there's nothing there.

362
00:13:30,771 --> 00:13:31,840
Okay, that's Fin relax.

363
00:13:44,607 --> 00:13:46,177
I need you to turn your head

364
00:13:46,177 --> 00:13:47,581
toward either wall, doesn't

365
00:13:47,581 --> 00:13:48,349
matter which.

366
00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,187
Give me a nice hard cough.

367
00:13:50,187 --> 00:13:51,558
[Coughs]

368
00:13:51,558 --> 00:13:52,260
Beautiful.

369
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:53,630
What's the turn the head to

370
00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:54,600
the side part about?

371
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,870
So you don't get coughed on?

372
00:13:55,870 --> 00:13:58,743
Yeah, exactly.

373
00:13:58,743 --> 00:14:00,081
I'm gonna grab your balls,

374
00:14:00,081 --> 00:14:01,383
and I want you to cough in my face.

375
00:14:01,785 --> 00:14:04,693
[Laughs]

376
00:14:04,693 --> 00:14:06,463
So, you know, to cut to the

377
00:14:06,463 --> 00:14:08,402
chase, you have not, after

378
00:14:08,402 --> 00:14:11,042
years of doing this, you haven't

379
00:14:11,042 --> 00:14:13,716
done any permanent damage that I

380
00:14:13,716 --> 00:14:16,757
can tell.

381
00:14:16,757 --> 00:14:21,503
[Bell dings]

382
00:14:21,503 --> 00:14:23,006
Good morning.

383
00:14:23,006 --> 00:14:24,009
Hi.

384
00:14:24,009 --> 00:14:25,480
I have your date.

385
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,118
I have your test.

386
00:14:27,118 --> 00:14:28,353
Ha ha, cheers!

387
00:14:28,421 --> 00:14:30,159
# She's like my alcohol #

388
00:14:30,159 --> 00:14:31,361
# I like the way that it's

389
00:14:31,361 --> 00:14:33,366
killing me, killing me #

390
00:14:33,434 --> 00:14:36,274
[bell dings]

391
00:14:36,274 --> 00:14:37,611
Hey, good morning.

392
00:14:37,611 --> 00:14:38,647
How are you?

393
00:14:38,647 --> 00:14:39,917
Good, thank you.

394
00:14:39,917 --> 00:14:40,418
Doug?

395
00:14:40,418 --> 00:14:41,923
Pleasure to meet you.

396
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,025
Come on back.

397
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,665
Well, so you're doing this film,

398
00:14:45,665 --> 00:14:48,005
and you've stopped using both

399
00:14:48,005 --> 00:14:49,375
alcohol and pot.

400
00:14:49,508 --> 00:14:50,979
I was wondering -what do you

401
00:14:50,979 --> 00:14:51,815
like about pot?

402
00:14:51,815 --> 00:14:53,385
What does it do for you when you smoke?

403
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:58,799
Um...

404
00:14:58,799 --> 00:15:02,242
it just...

405
00:15:02,242 --> 00:15:03,847
the simplest explanation I can

406
00:15:03,847 --> 00:15:05,517
give is it just makes everything

407
00:15:05,517 --> 00:15:07,522
more fun, you know?

408
00:15:07,522 --> 00:15:10,831
It just makes...makes my brain

409
00:15:10,831 --> 00:15:15,944
work differently, you know?

410
00:15:15,944 --> 00:15:19,821
Yeah, it seems like it strangely

411
00:15:19,821 --> 00:15:23,197
gives me a longer attention span.

412
00:15:24,734 --> 00:15:25,602
So, yeah.

413
00:15:25,602 --> 00:15:29,346
So it's been six days, and...

414
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,783
and I'm doing okay.

415
00:15:30,783 --> 00:15:32,955
I don't think it's as addictive

416
00:15:32,955 --> 00:15:34,525
as some people think.

417
00:15:34,525 --> 00:15:36,765
Like, I only think about smoking

418
00:15:36,765 --> 00:15:38,770
pot constantly.

419
00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:40,174
That's the only time I think

420
00:15:40,174 --> 00:15:41,277
about it.

421
00:15:41,277 --> 00:15:42,479
[Bell dings]

422
00:15:42,479 --> 00:15:43,816
I'm starting to learn --

423
00:15:43,816 --> 00:15:45,287
making this movie is forcing me

424
00:15:45,287 --> 00:15:46,424
to learn to actually be

425
00:15:46,424 --> 00:15:47,860
interested in people and ask a

426
00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:49,298
question after they answer the

427
00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:50,734
first question.

428
00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:52,440
Well, isn't it mostly people

429
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,608
asking you questions?

430
00:15:53,608 --> 00:15:54,778
Well, we go around.

431
00:15:54,778 --> 00:15:56,216
We've been spending a lot of

432
00:15:56,216 --> 00:16:00,326
time in dispensaries with people

433
00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:03,134
that are advocates for pot,

434
00:16:03,134 --> 00:16:05,005
which I normally am not that

435
00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,776
interested in.

436
00:16:06,776 --> 00:16:08,347
I just want to smoke it, so...

437
00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:09,650
welcome to the

438
00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:13,360
Benson interruption, everybody.

439
00:16:13,495 --> 00:16:15,532
But I also have not had a

440
00:16:15,532 --> 00:16:17,772
drink in over a month, and that is --

441
00:16:18,373 --> 00:16:19,510
[audience groans]

442
00:16:19,510 --> 00:16:21,214
Fuck it, you don't have to tell me.

443
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:22,683
It's the worst!

444
00:16:22,683 --> 00:16:24,689
Somebody in the audience when

445
00:16:24,689 --> 00:16:26,294
you said that you stopped

446
00:16:26,294 --> 00:16:28,299
drinking actually said, "oh, he

447
00:16:28,299 --> 00:16:29,601
loves to drink."

448
00:16:29,601 --> 00:16:34,882
[Laughter]

449
00:16:34,882 --> 00:16:36,420
She was really concerned that

450
00:16:36,420 --> 00:16:37,890
you were going through this.

451
00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:39,495
It's true, and I want you to

452
00:16:39,495 --> 00:16:40,998
understand that is a fucking sacrifice.

453
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,171
Like, that is what I'm giving

454
00:16:43,171 --> 00:16:44,808
up, because the smoking -it's

455
00:16:44,808 --> 00:16:46,279
not a sacrifice because I've

456
00:16:46,279 --> 00:16:47,883
never said, "oh, I used to have

457
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,421
so many awesome times with my

458
00:16:49,421 --> 00:16:51,292
friends smoking."

459
00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:52,362
[Laughs]

460
00:16:52,362 --> 00:16:53,932
Remember that party, when we

461
00:16:53,932 --> 00:16:54,901
had cigarettes?

462
00:16:54,901 --> 00:16:56,239
Remember that time?

463
00:16:56,239 --> 00:16:57,575
Oh, we had too many

464
00:16:57,575 --> 00:16:58,878
cigarettes that night!

465
00:16:58,878 --> 00:17:00,682
I can't remember what happened!

466
00:17:00,682 --> 00:17:02,687
I smoked so much.

467
00:17:02,687 --> 00:17:04,293
Oh.

468
00:17:04,293 --> 00:17:06,532
Boy, we had such a great time.

469
00:17:06,532 --> 00:17:08,102
Yeah, I'm gonna unwind with some friends.

470
00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:10,208
We're gonna, like, get a couple

471
00:17:10,208 --> 00:17:11,778
packs of cigarettes and probably

472
00:17:11,778 --> 00:17:15,856
just...go out on the porch.

473
00:17:15,856 --> 00:17:16,691
[Bell dings]

474
00:17:16,691 --> 00:17:18,229
So we're driving out to the

475
00:17:18,229 --> 00:17:19,832
valley to find out about --

476
00:17:19,832 --> 00:17:21,672
apparently, in north Hollywood,

477
00:17:21,672 --> 00:17:24,845
there's a rogue cop who shows up

478
00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:26,985
at dispensaries and shuts them down.

479
00:17:28,054 --> 00:17:29,358
What's happening right now up

480
00:17:29,358 --> 00:17:30,962
in North Hollywood is that we

481
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,033
have a local police officer who

482
00:17:33,033 --> 00:17:35,173
is confused and perhaps hostile

483
00:17:35,173 --> 00:17:37,245
to medical cannabis, and he has

484
00:17:37,245 --> 00:17:38,983
sort of set about, at his

485
00:17:38,983 --> 00:17:40,520
mission, to close the

486
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,191
dispensaries, and that's

487
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:44,263
unfortunate, because what we're

488
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:45,900
seeing now is sort of a

489
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:47,505
breakdown in due process.

490
00:17:47,639 --> 00:17:49,443
I'm just curious about what a

491
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,616
rogue cop is, you know?

492
00:17:51,616 --> 00:17:55,191
Is it just one guy who just puts

493
00:17:55,191 --> 00:17:57,831
his uniform on at home and looks

494
00:17:57,831 --> 00:17:59,168
in the mirror and says, "be

495
00:17:59,168 --> 00:18:02,343
careful out there," and goes

496
00:18:02,343 --> 00:18:03,781
around shutting things down?

497
00:18:03,781 --> 00:18:05,384
Do you think a rogue cop's gonna

498
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:06,854
show up while we're in there?

499
00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:07,356
No.

500
00:18:07,356 --> 00:18:08,492
This is Don Duncan.

501
00:18:08,492 --> 00:18:09,730
Hey, how you doing?

502
00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:11,032
This is Doug Benson.

503
00:18:11,032 --> 00:18:12,503
He's the hero of our movie.

504
00:18:12,503 --> 00:18:13,807
So to speak.

505
00:18:13,807 --> 00:18:15,511
It looks like this

506
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:18,753
Mr. Smith just went renegade, man.

507
00:18:19,621 --> 00:18:20,958
You know, I'm a real thing.

508
00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:22,463
This is a real business license.

509
00:18:22,463 --> 00:18:23,465
This is what we do.

510
00:18:23,465 --> 00:18:24,901
And, of course, the first two

511
00:18:24,901 --> 00:18:26,171
months, they thought that,

512
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,576
"okay, black dude's about to

513
00:18:27,576 --> 00:18:28,946
come here and open up a dope shop."

514
00:18:29,414 --> 00:18:30,684
I could feel it, okay?

515
00:18:30,684 --> 00:18:32,354
But when it didn't turn out to

516
00:18:32,354 --> 00:18:34,025
be that -"oh, actually, this

517
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:35,262
guy's an ex-scientist and

518
00:18:35,262 --> 00:18:36,599
master's degree, blah, blah,

519
00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:38,102
blah, and he's not turning into

520
00:18:38,102 --> 00:18:39,607
this, and actually, it's pretty

521
00:18:39,607 --> 00:18:41,077
damn good 'cause we got a free

522
00:18:41,077 --> 00:18:42,615
security guard that patrols both

523
00:18:42,615 --> 00:18:43,350
parking lots."

524
00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:44,218
Then I was cool.

525
00:18:44,218 --> 00:18:45,422
Then six months passed --

526
00:18:45,422 --> 00:18:46,391
everything's cool.

527
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:47,428
People think that medicinal

528
00:18:47,428 --> 00:18:49,064
cannabis, when you use that

529
00:18:49,064 --> 00:18:50,936
word, you're just talking about

530
00:18:50,936 --> 00:18:52,173
straight marijuana.

531
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:53,977
Half of the patients that come

532
00:18:53,977 --> 00:18:56,049
through here can't smoke because

533
00:18:56,049 --> 00:18:57,654
they're in here for some

534
00:18:57,654 --> 00:19:00,394
smoke-related type of deal, so I

535
00:19:00,394 --> 00:19:02,800
have all types of pills, and

536
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,806
this is lip balm, man.

537
00:19:04,806 --> 00:19:05,875
This is chapstick.

538
00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:06,845
It does the job.

539
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:07,613
It works?

540
00:19:07,613 --> 00:19:09,317
I have an older gentleman who

541
00:19:09,317 --> 00:19:11,590
swears by this topical spray.

542
00:19:11,590 --> 00:19:13,160
You put it in, boom, you spray

543
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,664
it on, and it actually works.

544
00:19:14,664 --> 00:19:16,302
There's a lot of different ways

545
00:19:16,302 --> 00:19:17,974
of getting THC into your system,

546
00:19:17,974 --> 00:19:19,912
and it's not all about smoking.

547
00:19:20,044 --> 00:19:22,519
Driving to Sacramento, Doug

548
00:19:22,519 --> 00:19:25,091
refuses to sit in the passenger seat.

549
00:19:26,261 --> 00:19:29,503
Sits behind me.

550
00:19:29,637 --> 00:19:31,843
This will all be verified.

551
00:19:31,843 --> 00:19:34,115
It's called "Miss Daisy" style.

552
00:19:36,153 --> 00:19:37,859
He goes -I say, "just don't

553
00:19:37,859 --> 00:19:38,928
fire up in my car.

554
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,566
If you want to, we'll weed it.

555
00:19:40,566 --> 00:19:42,236
We'll pull over and we'll bzzz,

556
00:19:42,236 --> 00:19:43,807
you know," and we drive up to

557
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:45,477
Sacramento, but stoners are all

558
00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:47,182
like 4-year-olds, and I see him

559
00:19:47,182 --> 00:19:48,920
back there, and he starts firing it up.

560
00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:51,060
And I'm like, "I can see you

561
00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:52,228
through the rearview mirror,"

562
00:19:52,228 --> 00:19:53,398
but stoners are, like I said,

563
00:19:53,398 --> 00:19:54,635
4-year-olds, so he's like, "hee hee!

564
00:19:54,936 --> 00:19:56,373
No one can see me!"

565
00:19:56,373 --> 00:19:57,509
Fucking idiot!

566
00:19:57,509 --> 00:19:59,681
And I'm like, "I smell fire and

567
00:19:59,681 --> 00:20:00,551
smoke and marijuana and

568
00:20:00,551 --> 00:20:01,519
everything," and he's like,

569
00:20:01,519 --> 00:20:02,589
"I'll blow it out the window."

570
00:20:02,589 --> 00:20:03,692
So he rolls down the window and

571
00:20:03,692 --> 00:20:04,259
blows it out.

572
00:20:04,259 --> 00:20:05,363
Now, bear in mind, we're on the

573
00:20:05,363 --> 00:20:08,203
5 going 80, so he blows it out,
and -[gasps]

574
00:20:09,407 --> 00:20:10,877
It all comes fucking pouring

575
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:11,479
back in.

576
00:20:11,479 --> 00:20:12,983
I'm like, "you goddamned dumb

577
00:20:12,983 --> 00:20:14,587
stoner," and he's like, "sorry,

578
00:20:14,587 --> 00:20:16,257
it was almost 4:20," or whatever

579
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,195
he's fucking...

580
00:20:18,195 --> 00:20:19,901
My mom called me today and

581
00:20:19,901 --> 00:20:21,571
left me a message saying she

582
00:20:21,571 --> 00:20:23,410
lost or broke her glasses so she

583
00:20:23,410 --> 00:20:25,281
needs new glasses, so that's the

584
00:20:25,281 --> 00:20:27,053
main reason why I want to go to

585
00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:28,857
the post office today -'cause

586
00:20:28,857 --> 00:20:30,562
I feel bad that she's sitting

587
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,399
around without glasses until she

588
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:38,315
gets a check from me.

589
00:20:38,315 --> 00:20:39,752
You help her out financially?

590
00:20:39,752 --> 00:20:41,523
Yeah, I pay for pretty much
everything.

591
00:20:56,395 --> 00:20:58,067
See, that's the thing.

592
00:20:58,067 --> 00:20:59,103
I'm very torn.

593
00:20:59,103 --> 00:21:00,840
I said I was gonna do your

594
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,277
documentary, but here I am.

595
00:21:02,277 --> 00:21:04,918
I'm very torn about pot, because

596
00:21:04,918 --> 00:21:07,357
I honestly wish I could smoke

597
00:21:07,357 --> 00:21:09,129
pot twice a year.

598
00:21:09,129 --> 00:21:09,898
I'm serious.

599
00:21:09,898 --> 00:21:11,501
Why can't you do it twice a
year?

600
00:21:11,969 --> 00:21:12,939
I don't know.

601
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:13,841
I got two kids.

602
00:21:13,841 --> 00:21:15,444
I don't have access to it.

603
00:21:15,444 --> 00:21:17,284
Every time I think about buying

604
00:21:17,284 --> 00:21:20,258
some, I'm like, "how? What?"

605
00:21:20,258 --> 00:21:22,029
The last time you did my show

606
00:21:22,029 --> 00:21:23,599
at UCB, you started talking

607
00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:25,370
about how ridiculous it is for a

608
00:21:25,370 --> 00:21:27,008
grown man to still be smoking

609
00:21:27,008 --> 00:21:28,178
pot and still be --

610
00:21:28,178 --> 00:21:29,414
I don't remember.

611
00:21:29,414 --> 00:21:31,053
Yeah, you were like, "come

612
00:21:31,053 --> 00:21:32,523
on, it's time to grow up."

613
00:21:32,523 --> 00:21:33,225
Well...

614
00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:34,094
See, yeah.

615
00:21:34,094 --> 00:21:35,731
See, you still feel that way.

616
00:21:35,731 --> 00:21:37,202
Well, what do you want?

617
00:21:37,202 --> 00:21:38,706
Look at you.

618
00:21:38,706 --> 00:21:39,241
It's sad.

619
00:21:39,241 --> 00:21:40,677
I don't think you actually smoke

620
00:21:40,677 --> 00:21:41,012
pot.

621
00:21:41,012 --> 00:21:42,215
I think you smoke oregano.

622
00:21:42,215 --> 00:21:42,917
Yeah.

623
00:21:42,917 --> 00:21:43,517
No.

624
00:21:43,517 --> 00:21:45,422
Look at me, I'm on day 10 of

625
00:21:45,422 --> 00:21:47,094
not smoking, and I'm fine.

626
00:21:47,094 --> 00:21:48,331
You feel great?

627
00:21:48,331 --> 00:21:50,303
Well, no, I don't feel great.

628
00:21:50,303 --> 00:21:51,873
I'd still like to do it.

629
00:21:51,873 --> 00:21:52,675
Really?

630
00:21:52,675 --> 00:21:53,477
Would you?

631
00:21:53,477 --> 00:21:54,179
Yeah.

632
00:21:54,179 --> 00:21:54,915
Well, I'm gonna.

633
00:21:54,915 --> 00:21:56,184
You're gonna do it soon, and

634
00:21:56,184 --> 00:21:57,388
you're gonna do it every day.

635
00:21:57,388 --> 00:21:58,423
I'm gonna do it a lot.

636
00:21:58,423 --> 00:21:59,493
Then I might not like it

637
00:21:59,493 --> 00:22:00,329
anymore after that.

638
00:22:00,329 --> 00:22:01,665
No, I think you won't like it

639
00:22:01,665 --> 00:22:02,634
after a few days.

640
00:22:02,634 --> 00:22:04,139
People say pot smokers are
lazy.

641
00:22:04,572 --> 00:22:05,275
I disagree.

642
00:22:05,275 --> 00:22:06,912
I'm a multitasking pot smoker.

643
00:22:06,912 --> 00:22:08,616
Yeah, just the other day, I was

644
00:22:08,616 --> 00:22:09,987
walking down the street.

645
00:22:09,987 --> 00:22:13,495
That's one.

646
00:22:13,495 --> 00:22:16,036
Stoned -two things at once.

647
00:22:16,036 --> 00:22:17,306
Mother-f'ers.

648
00:22:17,306 --> 00:22:18,943
All right, I'll take that second
one back.

649
00:22:19,578 --> 00:22:21,216
I was walking down the street, I

650
00:22:21,216 --> 00:22:22,853
was putting eyedrops in my eyes,

651
00:22:22,853 --> 00:22:24,391
I was talking on my cellphone,

652
00:22:24,391 --> 00:22:29,738
and I was getting hit by a car.

653
00:22:29,738 --> 00:22:31,709
# Making shit happen on

654
00:22:31,709 --> 00:22:34,717
Santa Monica Boulevard #

655
00:22:34,717 --> 00:22:35,854
it's so fucking weird when

656
00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:37,124
people are just standing right

657
00:22:37,124 --> 00:22:38,293
in front of you while you're

658
00:22:38,293 --> 00:22:38,928
doing comedy.

659
00:22:38,928 --> 00:22:40,266
They're just standing there like

660
00:22:40,266 --> 00:22:44,843
this -"yeah, I heard you.

661
00:22:44,843 --> 00:22:49,490
Good one."

662
00:22:49,490 --> 00:22:51,294
Never had people just standing

663
00:22:51,294 --> 00:22:52,531
there.

664
00:22:52,531 --> 00:22:55,939
"What's next?"

665
00:22:55,939 --> 00:22:58,312
Any pot smokers here tonight in
the house?

666
00:22:59,282 --> 00:23:01,320
Always in the shitty seats

667
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,325
'cause they got here late.

668
00:23:03,325 --> 00:23:05,063
[Laughs]

669
00:23:05,063 --> 00:23:05,965
First of all, dude,

670
00:23:05,965 --> 00:23:07,303
congratulations on getting out

671
00:23:07,303 --> 00:23:10,210
of the house or hotel room.

672
00:23:10,210 --> 00:23:13,786
You did it, man.

673
00:23:13,786 --> 00:23:15,223
Congratulations.

674
00:23:15,223 --> 00:23:15,691
Bravo.

675
00:23:15,691 --> 00:23:17,161
'Cause I know what it's like.

676
00:23:17,161 --> 00:23:18,599
You're like, "let's go to the
comedy show.

677
00:23:20,236 --> 00:23:21,806
Fuck it, we got a TV right

678
00:23:21,806 --> 00:23:22,375
here."

679
00:23:22,375 --> 00:23:24,012
I was in a show called "the

680
00:23:24,012 --> 00:23:25,082
marijuana logs."

681
00:23:25,082 --> 00:23:26,920
For those of you who don't know

682
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,358
what that is, it's like

683
00:23:28,358 --> 00:23:30,028
"the vagina monologues," but

684
00:23:30,028 --> 00:23:33,371
with pot instead of vaginas.

685
00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:34,607
Sometimes people are offended.

686
00:23:34,607 --> 00:23:35,876
They come up to me and they're

687
00:23:35,876 --> 00:23:37,046
like, [high-pitched voice]

688
00:23:37,046 --> 00:23:38,349
"Are you making fun of vaginas?

689
00:23:38,349 --> 00:23:39,452
Do you have a problem with
vaginas?"

690
00:23:39,954 --> 00:23:41,224
[Normal voice] I'm like, "no,

691
00:23:41,224 --> 00:23:42,561
I have a problem with your weird

692
00:23:42,561 --> 00:23:44,832
voice, but we love vaginas at

693
00:23:44,832 --> 00:23:46,538
the 'marijuana logs.'

694
00:23:46,538 --> 00:23:48,777
We want vaginas in the seats.

695
00:23:48,777 --> 00:23:51,015
Especially vaginas that smoke
marijuana."

696
00:23:52,654 --> 00:23:56,464
Which I saw once in Indonesia.

697
00:23:56,464 --> 00:24:00,541
Mm-hmm.

698
00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:06,089
Cost me $6 and a chicken.

699
00:24:06,089 --> 00:24:08,996
And a lifetime of regret 'cause

700
00:24:08,996 --> 00:24:10,735
I can't get that image out of my
head.

701
00:24:14,243 --> 00:24:15,880
Plus, she wouldn't pass the
shit.

702
00:24:16,382 --> 00:24:18,220
That is rude.

703
00:24:18,220 --> 00:24:20,058
That is rude to Bogart a joint

704
00:24:20,058 --> 00:24:22,063
with your vagina.

705
00:24:22,063 --> 00:24:24,503
Don't do it, fellas.

706
00:24:24,503 --> 00:24:26,308
It's like my two favorite things

707
00:24:26,308 --> 00:24:28,046
keeping me from enjoying my two

708
00:24:28,046 --> 00:24:30,419
favorite things.

709
00:24:30,419 --> 00:24:32,089
'Cause you can't have sex with a

710
00:24:32,089 --> 00:24:34,630
vagina that has fire in it, and

711
00:24:34,630 --> 00:24:36,834
you can't smoke that joint

712
00:24:36,834 --> 00:24:40,545
through her asshole.

713
00:24:40,545 --> 00:24:42,015
Oh, did you see the sign
outside?

714
00:24:42,684 --> 00:24:44,589
It says, "adult material will be
covered."

715
00:24:46,326 --> 00:24:48,432
Ame is Doug Benson, and I'm

716
00:24:48,432 --> 00:24:53,077
about to get super high.

717
00:24:53,077 --> 00:24:55,917
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

718
00:24:55,917 --> 00:24:58,492
Wow, I think I found the perfect

719
00:24:58,492 --> 00:25:00,295
place to fart.

720
00:25:00,295 --> 00:25:03,404
I think pot's illegal there --

721
00:25:03,404 --> 00:25:05,576
over there -but it's legal

722
00:25:05,576 --> 00:25:09,219
over there, that way.

723
00:25:09,219 --> 00:25:10,423
I think.

724
00:25:10,423 --> 00:25:11,959
Or maybe the other way around.

725
00:25:11,959 --> 00:25:14,232
Yeah, pot is legal over that

726
00:25:14,232 --> 00:25:17,139
way and illegal that way.

727
00:25:17,139 --> 00:25:20,783
Pretty sure.

728
00:25:20,783 --> 00:25:22,487
I went on the -what do you

729
00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:23,490
call it today?

730
00:25:23,490 --> 00:25:27,600
The parasailing over the lake --

731
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,037
Lake Tahoe.

732
00:25:29,037 --> 00:25:30,106
That was sweet.

733
00:25:30,106 --> 00:25:31,978
If you guys get a chance to do

734
00:25:31,978 --> 00:25:33,215
it, go for it.

735
00:25:33,215 --> 00:25:35,521
I don't have any jokes about it
yet.

736
00:25:36,122 --> 00:25:38,394
Soon as I brought it up, I was

737
00:25:38,394 --> 00:25:40,501
like, "why the fuck are you

738
00:25:40,501 --> 00:25:42,104
talking about this?

739
00:25:42,104 --> 00:25:44,310
You have nothing funny to say

740
00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:46,550
about it other than promoting

741
00:25:46,550 --> 00:25:48,722
the activity," 'cause it was

742
00:25:48,722 --> 00:25:50,058
really good.

743
00:25:50,058 --> 00:25:51,060
[Laughs]

744
00:25:51,060 --> 00:25:51,898
Well, I was up --

745
00:25:51,898 --> 00:25:53,433
I was up there, like, 1,200

746
00:25:53,433 --> 00:25:55,640
feet, going, "man, I should've

747
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,781
fucking smoked a bowl before

748
00:25:58,781 --> 00:26:00,318
doing this," 'cause smoking pot

749
00:26:00,318 --> 00:26:01,789
makes everything more fun.

750
00:26:01,789 --> 00:26:04,094
[Airplane engines whine]

751
00:26:04,094 --> 00:26:06,434
[Bell dings]

752
00:26:06,569 --> 00:26:08,439
So are you ready?

753
00:26:08,439 --> 00:26:09,576
Mm-hmm.

754
00:26:09,576 --> 00:26:11,615
You got 25 minutes.

755
00:26:11,615 --> 00:26:12,685
Begin.

756
00:26:12,685 --> 00:26:14,656
[Bell dings]

757
00:26:14,790 --> 00:26:16,728
[Rock music plays]

758
00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:26,821
Think you're funnier when

759
00:26:26,821 --> 00:26:28,092
you're sober?

760
00:26:28,092 --> 00:26:29,862
I swear, nothing's changed.

761
00:26:29,862 --> 00:26:30,664
Really?

762
00:26:30,664 --> 00:26:32,335
Other than I'm having a

763
00:26:32,335 --> 00:26:33,572
little less fun.

764
00:26:33,572 --> 00:26:35,410
Doug Benson smokes so much

765
00:26:35,410 --> 00:26:37,950
pot he buys his rolling paper

766
00:26:37,950 --> 00:26:41,826
at Costco.

767
00:26:41,826 --> 00:26:43,163
He looks brighter and

768
00:26:43,163 --> 00:26:44,165
shinier, I think.

769
00:26:44,165 --> 00:26:44,868
Glowing.

770
00:26:44,868 --> 00:26:46,204
Yeah, you're glowing.

771
00:26:46,204 --> 00:26:47,709
Well, that's 'cause of the
baby.

772
00:26:48,176 --> 00:26:49,446
He's either sober or
pregnant.

773
00:26:50,082 --> 00:26:51,585
That's because I'm pregnant.

774
00:26:51,585 --> 00:26:55,595
[Laughs]

775
00:26:55,595 --> 00:26:58,837
Every day is a joy, now that

776
00:26:58,837 --> 00:27:00,141
my baby's coming.

777
00:27:00,141 --> 00:27:06,558
I recently saw a dog in a cage,

778
00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:09,164
and -hang on, there's more --

779
00:27:09,164 --> 00:27:13,341
and the cage had a sign on it

780
00:27:13,341 --> 00:27:16,917
that said, "I bite."

781
00:27:16,917 --> 00:27:18,856
And I was like, "that is good to

782
00:27:18,856 --> 00:27:20,895
know, doggy.

783
00:27:20,895 --> 00:27:22,532
But that's not the most

784
00:27:22,532 --> 00:27:24,370
important thing about you.

785
00:27:24,370 --> 00:27:26,542
You should make a sign that says

786
00:27:26,542 --> 00:27:31,522
'I make signs.'

787
00:27:31,522 --> 00:27:33,360
So, I'm gonna test your

788
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,398
memory, and I want you to say

789
00:27:35,398 --> 00:27:37,538
these words back to me after I

790
00:27:37,538 --> 00:27:38,674
say all three.

791
00:27:38,674 --> 00:27:40,411
It's three words.

792
00:27:40,411 --> 00:27:43,687
Boat, cucumber, wire.

793
00:27:43,687 --> 00:27:44,824
Boat, cucumber, wire?

794
00:27:44,824 --> 00:27:46,093
You just have to say them

795
00:27:46,093 --> 00:27:46,728
back to me.

796
00:27:46,728 --> 00:27:48,166
I like to put a question mark

797
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:48,767
at the end.

798
00:27:48,767 --> 00:27:49,569
There, yeah.

799
00:27:49,569 --> 00:27:50,873
You can always put a question

800
00:27:50,873 --> 00:27:52,276
mark at the end of anything you
like.

801
00:27:52,811 --> 00:27:54,783
Now, I'm gonna show you certain
things.

802
00:27:55,451 --> 00:27:57,223
I want you to actually name
them.

803
00:27:57,757 --> 00:27:59,494
What do you call this thing?

804
00:27:59,494 --> 00:28:00,899
Fancy.

805
00:28:00,899 --> 00:28:01,834
Watch.

806
00:28:01,834 --> 00:28:03,071
What do you call this thing?

807
00:28:03,071 --> 00:28:03,772
A pen?

808
00:28:03,772 --> 00:28:05,310
All right.

809
00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:07,048
I can't wait to take this

810
00:28:07,048 --> 00:28:09,420
when I'm high.

811
00:28:09,420 --> 00:28:11,425
Now, remember those three

812
00:28:11,425 --> 00:28:13,164
words I told you before?

813
00:28:13,164 --> 00:28:14,166
[Gasps]

814
00:28:14,166 --> 00:28:15,303
See, I knew it!

815
00:28:15,303 --> 00:28:17,108
It was only three words.

816
00:28:17,108 --> 00:28:19,881
I know.

817
00:28:19,881 --> 00:28:22,389
Boat and cucumber.

818
00:28:22,389 --> 00:28:24,426
Okay, there was a third word.

819
00:28:24,426 --> 00:28:25,262
I know.

820
00:28:25,262 --> 00:28:29,407
Boat, cucumber...

821
00:28:29,407 --> 00:28:31,645
I don't know the third one. Right, you got
three.

822
00:28:32,580 --> 00:28:33,985
It was wire.

823
00:28:33,985 --> 00:28:35,088
Wire!

824
00:28:35,088 --> 00:28:36,858
Okay, no wonder.

825
00:28:36,858 --> 00:28:38,797
Repeat this after me, graham.

826
00:28:38,797 --> 00:28:40,168
Boat, cucumber, wire.

827
00:28:40,168 --> 00:28:41,705
Boat, cucumber, wire.

828
00:28:41,705 --> 00:28:43,609
All right, you're good, too.

829
00:28:43,609 --> 00:28:44,511
I'm good?

830
00:28:44,511 --> 00:28:46,751
I'm not a stoner.

831
00:28:46,751 --> 00:28:48,255
Your lungs got better.

832
00:28:48,255 --> 00:28:49,459
How much better?

833
00:28:49,459 --> 00:28:51,496
3% in 23 days.

834
00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:53,569
So I'm at 93%?

835
00:28:53,569 --> 00:28:55,774
You're about 92%, which is

836
00:28:55,774 --> 00:28:56,977
actually -that's not
insubstantial.

837
00:28:57,813 --> 00:28:59,083
I can't tell you if it's

838
00:28:59,083 --> 00:29:00,620
statistically significant, but

839
00:29:00,620 --> 00:29:01,857
it's not insignificant.

840
00:29:01,857 --> 00:29:03,361
See, that memory test -I

841
00:29:03,361 --> 00:29:04,998
knew I was 89% from three weeks
ago.

842
00:29:05,433 --> 00:29:06,970
So what three words did he
tell you?

843
00:29:09,076 --> 00:29:11,716
Told me...wire, bacon, and

844
00:29:11,716 --> 00:29:13,287
some other one.

845
00:29:13,287 --> 00:29:14,689
[Laughs]

846
00:29:14,689 --> 00:29:16,796
He did worse than I did!

847
00:29:16,796 --> 00:29:18,734
And he doesn't smoke pot ever!

848
00:29:30,431 --> 00:29:34,675
[Bell dings]

849
00:29:34,809 --> 00:29:35,545
Jim.

850
00:29:35,545 --> 00:29:36,814
Oh, hey, Jim.

851
00:29:36,814 --> 00:29:38,919
I was hoping that was you, but

852
00:29:38,919 --> 00:29:39,956
I'm not psychic.

853
00:29:39,956 --> 00:29:41,594
We'll find out, won't we?

854
00:29:41,594 --> 00:29:43,365
We'll find out how psychic I
am.

855
00:29:44,435 --> 00:29:46,005
I have the exact same deck
over there.

856
00:29:46,673 --> 00:29:48,579
We're gonna flip a card up, and

857
00:29:48,579 --> 00:29:50,518
you're gonna guess which one of

858
00:29:50,518 --> 00:29:52,523
the cards we're flipping up,

859
00:29:52,523 --> 00:29:54,693
and, to my knowledge, there has

860
00:29:54,693 --> 00:29:57,536
never been a test done before

861
00:29:57,536 --> 00:29:59,273
which compares psychic ability

862
00:29:59,273 --> 00:30:01,011
before and after the influence

863
00:30:01,011 --> 00:30:01,913
of marijuana.

864
00:30:01,913 --> 00:30:03,585
It's groundbreaking, yeah.

865
00:30:03,585 --> 00:30:05,455
It's groundbreaking research.

866
00:30:05,455 --> 00:30:07,026
First card -everybody see the
first card?

867
00:30:07,727 --> 00:30:13,042
And, Doug, what is your guess?

868
00:30:13,042 --> 00:30:14,746
Triangle.

869
00:30:14,746 --> 00:30:21,464
First guess is "triangle."

870
00:30:21,464 --> 00:30:25,709
What's your guess?

871
00:30:25,709 --> 00:30:26,777
Circle.

872
00:30:26,777 --> 00:30:29,418
"Circle" is the guess.

873
00:30:29,418 --> 00:30:30,487
So that's it.

874
00:30:30,487 --> 00:30:31,757
We only got one?

875
00:30:31,757 --> 00:30:32,860
Is that right?

876
00:30:32,860 --> 00:30:34,030
The whole time?

877
00:30:34,030 --> 00:30:35,668
One hit out of 25 -wow.

878
00:30:35,668 --> 00:30:37,606
So you're negative psychic.

879
00:30:37,606 --> 00:30:39,343
You're spectacularly not

880
00:30:39,343 --> 00:30:40,078
psychic.

881
00:30:40,078 --> 00:30:41,883
Spectacularly un-psychic.

882
00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:43,153
Yeah.

883
00:30:50,439 --> 00:30:52,545
What allegedly has happened

884
00:30:52,545 --> 00:30:55,084
is that a D.E.A. Agent tried to

885
00:30:55,084 --> 00:30:57,223
get in without his proper

886
00:30:57,223 --> 00:30:58,527
credentials, and the security

887
00:30:58,527 --> 00:30:59,930
guard did what he's paid to do,

888
00:30:59,930 --> 00:31:01,233
which is to say, "no, I don't
think so.

889
00:31:01,803 --> 00:31:04,643
It was led by John Smith again.

890
00:31:04,643 --> 00:31:06,648
The same guy who's been told to

891
00:31:06,648 --> 00:31:07,850
stop doing this.

892
00:31:07,850 --> 00:31:09,756
Until City Council reconvenes

893
00:31:09,756 --> 00:31:11,259
and we put together an

894
00:31:11,259 --> 00:31:13,231
ordinance, he feels he's Rambo

895
00:31:13,231 --> 00:31:15,204
again, and thing you know,

896
00:31:15,204 --> 00:31:18,345
NBC showed up, KTLA showed up.

897
00:31:18,345 --> 00:31:20,785
The D.E.A. Is still inside.

898
00:31:20,785 --> 00:31:22,590
There you go, there you go,

899
00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:23,793
there he is!

900
00:31:23,793 --> 00:31:26,298
The great John Smith.

901
00:31:26,298 --> 00:31:29,173
[Jeering, booing]

902
00:31:29,173 --> 00:31:30,443
This is California, baby!

903
00:31:30,443 --> 00:31:31,379
We voted this in!

904
00:31:31,379 --> 00:31:32,516
You're not welcome, and we ain't

905
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:33,918
going anywhere!

906
00:31:33,918 --> 00:31:36,492
Together: D.e.a., go away!

907
00:31:36,492 --> 00:31:38,964
D.E.A., go away!

908
00:31:38,964 --> 00:31:40,603
You hit him!

909
00:31:40,603 --> 00:31:41,740
Yo, I saw it!

910
00:31:41,740 --> 00:31:42,975
I saw that!

911
00:31:42,975 --> 00:31:45,415
[Indistinct shouting]

912
00:31:49,828 --> 00:31:52,032
John "Scumbag" Smith, come on
down!

913
00:31:53,470 --> 00:31:55,909
[Indistinct shouting]

914
00:31:59,986 --> 00:32:01,223
Yeah!

915
00:32:01,223 --> 00:32:02,827
You want to call the real

916
00:32:02,827 --> 00:32:03,462
police?

917
00:32:03,462 --> 00:32:06,035
You didn't expect this!

918
00:32:06,035 --> 00:32:07,272
We have no department

919
00:32:07,272 --> 00:32:08,609
employees involved in this.

920
00:32:08,609 --> 00:32:09,913
Are they really D.E.A.?

921
00:32:09,913 --> 00:32:11,483
They're real D.E.A. Officers.

922
00:32:11,483 --> 00:32:12,218
Agents, yes.

923
00:32:12,218 --> 00:32:13,522
And John Smith's not up
there?

924
00:32:13,990 --> 00:32:15,293
We have no Department

925
00:32:15,293 --> 00:32:16,663
employees involved in this
incident.

926
00:32:17,298 --> 00:32:18,836
So John Smith's not in it?

927
00:32:18,836 --> 00:32:19,303
No.

928
00:32:19,303 --> 00:32:20,641
And he's not up there,
either?

929
00:32:21,208 --> 00:32:22,444
As of right now, no.

930
00:32:22,444 --> 00:32:23,916
Are you saying John Smith
isn't up there?

931
00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:26,321
I know John Smith, Officer
Smith.

932
00:32:26,823 --> 00:32:27,457
He's not there.

933
00:32:27,457 --> 00:32:29,429
Doesn't the police or any

934
00:32:29,429 --> 00:32:31,468
law-enforcement official that

935
00:32:31,468 --> 00:32:33,540
wants to invade our space have

936
00:32:33,540 --> 00:32:35,980
to have a warrant to do so?

937
00:32:35,980 --> 00:32:37,250
I'm not gonna comment on

938
00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:37,651
that.

939
00:32:37,651 --> 00:32:39,021
You won't comment on whether

940
00:32:39,021 --> 00:32:40,258
or not they have a warrant?

941
00:32:40,258 --> 00:32:41,494
I'm not gonna comment on
that.

942
00:32:41,896 --> 00:32:43,265
Officer, will you be leaving
officers here?

943
00:32:44,001 --> 00:32:44,469
Yes.

944
00:32:44,469 --> 00:32:45,906
If they don't have a warrant,

945
00:32:45,906 --> 00:32:48,278
then they shouldn't be there.

946
00:32:48,278 --> 00:32:49,381
Okay.

947
00:32:49,381 --> 00:32:50,719
This has been going on its

948
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:52,757
ninth hour.

949
00:32:52,757 --> 00:32:55,732
Word is that the D.E.A.'s

950
00:32:55,732 --> 00:32:57,603
locksmiths that were here that

951
00:32:57,603 --> 00:32:59,508
we ran away are gonna probably

952
00:32:59,508 --> 00:33:00,577
be coming back.

953
00:33:00,577 --> 00:33:02,482
The issues that they're having

954
00:33:02,482 --> 00:33:04,253
is they need to get into the

955
00:33:04,253 --> 00:33:05,958
safe, apparently, that's

956
00:33:05,958 --> 00:33:08,064
upstairs, and we also have word

957
00:33:08,064 --> 00:33:09,902
that, yeah, they do have a

958
00:33:09,902 --> 00:33:12,041
search warrant, but guess what?

959
00:33:12,041 --> 00:33:15,416
There's no signature on it.

960
00:33:15,416 --> 00:33:17,320
Who signed the warrant?

961
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,292
What judge signed the warrant?

962
00:33:19,292 --> 00:33:22,568
We have the right to know!

963
00:33:22,568 --> 00:33:23,971
This is why we waited all

964
00:33:23,971 --> 00:33:25,475
night, because we knew this was

965
00:33:25,475 --> 00:33:26,478
gonna happen!

966
00:33:26,478 --> 00:33:27,681
But that's okay!

967
00:33:27,681 --> 00:33:29,018
We have it on film!

968
00:33:29,018 --> 00:33:30,989
Go bust a meth lab, you pussies!

969
00:33:30,989 --> 00:33:32,627
Go up the street and do your

970
00:33:32,627 --> 00:33:34,099
job, man.

971
00:33:34,099 --> 00:33:35,501
Their job is not to save
California.

972
00:33:36,236 --> 00:33:37,874
Their job is to get the hell out

973
00:33:37,874 --> 00:33:39,277
of the state of California.

974
00:33:39,277 --> 00:33:41,217
Yep.

975
00:33:46,096 --> 00:33:48,034
So isn't marijuana legal in

976
00:33:48,034 --> 00:33:48,936
California?

977
00:33:48,936 --> 00:33:50,908
Well, it is, but the law is not

978
00:33:50,908 --> 00:33:52,579
recognized by the federal
government.

979
00:33:53,648 --> 00:33:55,386
To explain, the 10th Amendment

980
00:33:55,386 --> 00:33:57,158
of the Bill of Rights says that

981
00:33:57,158 --> 00:33:58,929
states have the right to govern

982
00:33:58,929 --> 00:34:00,767
themselves with regard to powers

983
00:34:00,767 --> 00:34:02,605
not granted or prohibited by the

984
00:34:02,605 --> 00:34:04,009
constitution.

985
00:34:04,009 --> 00:34:05,814
In the last century, many issues

986
00:34:05,814 --> 00:34:07,551
have challenged this amendment,

987
00:34:07,551 --> 00:34:08,922
including abortion, gay

988
00:34:08,922 --> 00:34:10,525
marriage, and gambling.

989
00:34:10,525 --> 00:34:12,932
As of today, federal antidrug

990
00:34:12,932 --> 00:34:14,803
laws are in direct conflict with

991
00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:16,608
laws in California and several

992
00:34:16,608 --> 00:34:18,513
other states that allow patients

993
00:34:18,513 --> 00:34:19,951
legal access to medical
marijuana.

994
00:34:21,321 --> 00:34:23,259
[Bell dings]

995
00:34:28,639 --> 00:34:31,080
Bye, space needle.

996
00:34:38,198 --> 00:34:40,503
So...

997
00:34:40,503 --> 00:34:42,208
can I interest you in some
assorted nuts?

998
00:34:44,347 --> 00:34:45,449
[Clock ticking]

999
00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:47,054
The whole idea was that I

1000
00:34:47,054 --> 00:34:48,724
would help facilitate the growth

1001
00:34:48,724 --> 00:34:50,229
of so much marijuana that the

1002
00:34:50,229 --> 00:34:51,832
D.E.A. And all the agencies of

1003
00:34:51,832 --> 00:34:53,504
the United States would never be

1004
00:34:53,504 --> 00:34:54,942
able to destroy it at the rate I

1005
00:34:54,942 --> 00:34:56,345
would help create it, and that,

1006
00:34:56,345 --> 00:34:57,580
ultimately, I -one man --

1007
00:34:57,580 --> 00:34:59,018
would neutralize the work of the

1008
00:34:59,018 --> 00:35:00,155
entire D.E.A. with their

1009
00:35:00,155 --> 00:35:01,558
multibillion-dollar budget.

1010
00:35:01,558 --> 00:35:03,163
He calls himself "the prince

1011
00:35:03,163 --> 00:35:04,766
of pot," but he may become "the

1012
00:35:04,766 --> 00:35:06,404
prince of federal prison."

1013
00:35:06,538 --> 00:35:07,741
I was watching "60 minutes,"

1014
00:35:07,741 --> 00:35:08,978
and there's a whole story about

1015
00:35:08,978 --> 00:35:10,782
Marc Emery.

1016
00:35:10,782 --> 00:35:12,019
The prince of pot.

1017
00:35:12,019 --> 00:35:13,622
Yeah, and how they want to

1018
00:35:13,622 --> 00:35:15,127
extradite him and all that.

1019
00:35:15,127 --> 00:35:16,797
I would love to interview that
guy.

1020
00:35:34,945 --> 00:35:36,349
See, 'cause I have this idea

1021
00:35:36,349 --> 00:35:37,786
that none of this is any good

1022
00:35:37,786 --> 00:35:38,989
unless you have to face
temptation.

1023
00:35:43,233 --> 00:35:45,172
I'm just saying there's no

1024
00:35:45,172 --> 00:35:47,511
virtue without temptation.

1025
00:35:47,511 --> 00:35:49,383
So I'll just make sure.

1026
00:35:49,383 --> 00:35:51,489
I still get to smell it.

1027
00:35:51,489 --> 00:35:52,357
That's one thing.

1028
00:35:52,357 --> 00:35:53,726
Well, you see, even that's

1029
00:35:53,726 --> 00:35:55,131
giving into a little bit of it

1030
00:35:55,131 --> 00:35:56,234
right there, eh, so I'm

1031
00:35:56,234 --> 00:35:57,671
corrupting you just by being in

1032
00:35:57,671 --> 00:35:58,474
the proximity.

1033
00:35:58,474 --> 00:36:00,010
Just to let you know, I've seen

1034
00:36:00,010 --> 00:36:01,414
more grow rooms than anybody

1035
00:36:01,414 --> 00:36:02,917
else alive in Canada -I think

1036
00:36:02,917 --> 00:36:05,224
400 or so -and been arrested

1037
00:36:05,224 --> 00:36:07,263
22 times, jailed 17 times,

1038
00:36:07,263 --> 00:36:09,468
raided 6 times, all for pot.

1039
00:36:09,468 --> 00:36:10,905
Nothing unsavory.

1040
00:36:10,905 --> 00:36:12,376
You know, I, if anything, have a

1041
00:36:12,376 --> 00:36:13,846
good reason never to have to use

1042
00:36:13,846 --> 00:36:15,183
drugs, and typically, I only

1043
00:36:15,183 --> 00:36:16,653
experiment with the psychedelics

1044
00:36:16,653 --> 00:36:18,258
once every six months or a year

1045
00:36:18,258 --> 00:36:19,629
and smoke pot, and I don't

1046
00:36:19,629 --> 00:36:20,864
believe I have any drug

1047
00:36:20,864 --> 00:36:22,502
dependencies, and having treated

1048
00:36:22,502 --> 00:36:24,106
drug addicts, I can see what --

1049
00:36:24,106 --> 00:36:25,075
do you know what?

1050
00:36:25,075 --> 00:36:26,513
Of the 65 people I treated, 60

1051
00:36:26,513 --> 00:36:27,815
of them did not have their

1052
00:36:27,815 --> 00:36:29,220
biological father in their life

1053
00:36:29,220 --> 00:36:30,322
for all or part of their

1054
00:36:30,322 --> 00:36:31,993
childhood, and that, I found,

1055
00:36:31,993 --> 00:36:33,631
was the most key, fundamental

1056
00:36:33,631 --> 00:36:35,235
component of every single drug

1057
00:36:35,235 --> 00:36:36,838
addict is that their biological

1058
00:36:36,838 --> 00:36:38,444
father was not there for a lot

1059
00:36:38,444 --> 00:36:40,482
of their prepubescent life.

1060
00:36:40,482 --> 00:36:41,851
I found that pot made me more
patient.

1061
00:36:42,354 --> 00:36:43,723
Made me a more creative lover

1062
00:36:43,723 --> 00:36:44,793
and a creative writer.

1063
00:36:44,793 --> 00:36:46,164
But if you smoke pot, you get

1064
00:36:46,164 --> 00:36:46,966
more expansive.

1065
00:36:46,966 --> 00:36:48,135
Explanations get longer.

1066
00:36:48,135 --> 00:36:49,472
We paid for the supreme-court

1067
00:36:49,472 --> 00:36:50,475
challenge in Canada.

1068
00:36:50,475 --> 00:36:51,912
They got the springboard to try

1069
00:36:51,912 --> 00:36:52,880
and make pot legal.

1070
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,017
We lost 6 to 3.

1071
00:36:54,017 --> 00:36:55,053
Everybody wants to fuck.

1072
00:36:55,053 --> 00:36:56,290
As soon as you discover it --

1073
00:36:56,290 --> 00:36:57,326
let me drink your thing.

1074
00:36:57,326 --> 00:36:58,428
Don't worry, my cold sores

1075
00:36:58,428 --> 00:36:59,231
aren't contagious.

1076
00:36:59,231 --> 00:37:00,200
The thing about pot --

1077
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,436
I remember when I shot a puck

1078
00:37:01,436 --> 00:37:02,306
through a window --

1079
00:37:02,306 --> 00:37:03,609
I found that it was a lot easier

1080
00:37:03,609 --> 00:37:04,845
to raise kids after a joint.

1081
00:37:04,845 --> 00:37:06,048
A lot of people live in inner
cities.

1082
00:37:06,483 --> 00:37:07,754
We should enrich our community

1083
00:37:07,754 --> 00:37:09,089
with more money, more weed, more
everything.

1084
00:37:10,026 --> 00:37:11,863
Are you in the performance
industry?

1085
00:37:12,700 --> 00:37:14,337
Yeah, I'm a stand-up
comedian.

1086
00:37:18,515 --> 00:37:20,687
Holy crap, I feel like I went

1087
00:37:20,687 --> 00:37:22,658
through some sort of...

1088
00:37:22,658 --> 00:37:25,700
marijuana gauntlet.

1089
00:37:25,833 --> 00:37:27,170
We got to find them.

1090
00:37:27,170 --> 00:37:28,440
How can you be doing a

1091
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,178
documentary -how can you do a

1092
00:37:30,178 --> 00:37:31,881
documentary on pot and not -I

1093
00:37:31,881 --> 00:37:33,487
know he's not smoking it, but

1094
00:37:33,487 --> 00:37:34,923
how can it not be around?

1095
00:37:34,923 --> 00:37:38,199
The UCB guys have it.

1096
00:37:38,199 --> 00:37:39,469
Go find them.

1097
00:37:39,469 --> 00:37:41,540
I'm not talking to that cult.

1098
00:37:41,540 --> 00:37:43,312
I'll call Walsh.

1099
00:37:43,445 --> 00:37:44,515
Huebel's probably got some.

1100
00:37:44,515 --> 00:37:45,651
And this dude in the bushes has
got some.

1101
00:37:46,085 --> 00:37:48,826
That guy's got hella weed.

1102
00:37:48,826 --> 00:37:50,464
He's totally smoking or he's

1103
00:37:50,464 --> 00:37:52,235
making a cellphone call.

1104
00:37:52,369 --> 00:37:53,304
I am a friend of

1105
00:37:53,304 --> 00:37:54,642
Doug Benson's, and I've never

1106
00:37:54,642 --> 00:37:56,814
smoked pot in my life.

1107
00:37:56,814 --> 00:37:58,819
Really?

1108
00:37:58,819 --> 00:38:00,590
By design?

1109
00:38:00,590 --> 00:38:02,227
Just never did it.

1110
00:38:02,227 --> 00:38:04,534
Never -I've been drunk once --
seventh grade.

1111
00:38:06,004 --> 00:38:08,075
But I've been taking

1112
00:38:08,075 --> 00:38:10,851
antidepressants for 12 years.

1113
00:38:10,851 --> 00:38:13,356
So I do have a lid on it.

1114
00:38:13,356 --> 00:38:14,960
Oh, and I've killed six hookers.

1115
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,030
Yeah.

1116
00:38:16,030 --> 00:38:18,939
I'm not saying I'm a saint.

1117
00:38:18,939 --> 00:38:21,109
We all self-medicate.

1118
00:38:21,109 --> 00:38:22,915
You know what else is a
treat?

1119
00:38:23,584 --> 00:38:25,622
Cookies made by Famous Amos.

1120
00:38:25,622 --> 00:38:26,692
[Laughter]

1121
00:38:26,692 --> 00:38:28,496
Have you guys had those,

1122
00:38:28,496 --> 00:38:30,032
Famous Amos cookies?

1123
00:38:30,032 --> 00:38:31,805
Oh, my god. They're delicious.

1124
00:38:31,805 --> 00:38:32,473
So good.

1125
00:38:32,473 --> 00:38:34,110
When I was a little kid, we

1126
00:38:34,110 --> 00:38:35,481
couldn't afford those.

1127
00:38:35,481 --> 00:38:36,383
That's right.

1128
00:38:36,383 --> 00:38:37,954
We had to eat the knockoff
brand.

1129
00:38:38,523 --> 00:38:40,260
We had to eat cookies made by
heinous anus.

1130
00:38:42,499 --> 00:38:47,379
[Laughter]

1131
00:38:47,379 --> 00:38:48,749
I'll tell you what, I didn't
care.

1132
00:38:49,182 --> 00:38:50,252
I didn't give a damn.

1133
00:38:50,252 --> 00:38:51,823
Even though I was 5 years old, I
ate them up.

1134
00:38:52,525 --> 00:38:53,360
[Munches]

1135
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:54,597
One after the other.

1136
00:38:54,597 --> 00:38:56,335
'Cause everything tastes great

1137
00:38:56,335 --> 00:38:57,505
when you're stoned.

1138
00:38:57,505 --> 00:38:59,043
Let me ask you guys...

1139
00:38:59,043 --> 00:39:00,011
[laughter]

1140
00:39:00,011 --> 00:39:01,448
...a quick question.

1141
00:39:01,448 --> 00:39:03,453
Are there any pot smokers here
today?

1142
00:39:04,088 --> 00:39:05,693
Any pot smokers at all?

1143
00:39:05,693 --> 00:39:06,696
[Cheers]

1144
00:39:06,696 --> 00:39:08,969
Hey, your last hours of --

1145
00:39:08,969 --> 00:39:12,209
how urgent -how...

1146
00:39:12,209 --> 00:39:15,987
I don't feel any urgency at
all.

1147
00:39:17,791 --> 00:39:19,896
So, does that beg the

1148
00:39:19,896 --> 00:39:22,403
question that maybe your whole

1149
00:39:22,403 --> 00:39:24,408
existence is a mistake?

1150
00:39:24,408 --> 00:39:26,178
Yeah, it's a lie.

1151
00:39:26,178 --> 00:39:27,683
Shut up!

1152
00:39:27,817 --> 00:39:30,156
Shut up. It's my toast.

1153
00:39:30,156 --> 00:39:32,729
Anyway, Doug Benson...

1154
00:39:32,729 --> 00:39:34,067
Yes.

1155
00:39:34,199 --> 00:39:35,804
To many more years of
sobriety.

1156
00:39:36,572 --> 00:39:38,511
No, I'm gonna start smoking
tomorrow.

1157
00:39:39,279 --> 00:39:42,956
Okay, well, that's cool.

1158
00:39:42,956 --> 00:39:50,341
[Heartbeat thumping]

1159
00:39:50,341 --> 00:39:58,262
[Fanfare plays]

1160
00:39:58,262 --> 00:39:59,900
We've got the volcano.

1161
00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:01,905
We're ready for me to medicate,

1162
00:40:01,905 --> 00:40:03,877
start this thing, but I noticed

1163
00:40:03,877 --> 00:40:05,916
it's 4:00 and I thought, "we got

1164
00:40:05,916 --> 00:40:07,855
to start at 4:20."

1165
00:40:07,855 --> 00:40:10,128
I got to take my first hit at
4:20.

1166
00:40:10,795 --> 00:40:12,466
But that's how I am.

1167
00:40:12,466 --> 00:40:14,906
I'm excited about getting high,

1168
00:40:14,906 --> 00:40:17,311
but I can wait until the cooler

1169
00:40:17,311 --> 00:40:18,582
time to do it.

1170
00:40:18,582 --> 00:40:20,922
You said this thing was easy.

1171
00:40:20,922 --> 00:40:23,427
Okay, so, what you do is you

1172
00:40:23,427 --> 00:40:25,935
put your herbs, whether that be

1173
00:40:25,935 --> 00:40:28,507
lavender or rosewood -whatever

1174
00:40:28,507 --> 00:40:30,948
you're using as an aromatic --

1175
00:40:30,948 --> 00:40:34,123
place it here in the grinder.

1176
00:40:34,123 --> 00:40:37,631
You grind your plant mater--
shit.

1177
00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:41,876
Sweet lord.

1178
00:40:41,876 --> 00:40:44,249
Oh, my god.

1179
00:40:44,249 --> 00:40:45,786
This isn't happening.

1180
00:40:45,786 --> 00:40:47,524
So, you grind your plant
material.

1181
00:40:48,260 --> 00:40:49,028
Right.

1182
00:40:49,028 --> 00:40:50,298
You don't spill it.

1183
00:40:50,298 --> 00:40:50,900
Jesus!

1184
00:40:50,900 --> 00:40:51,668
Alex.

1185
00:40:51,668 --> 00:40:52,872
Good lord.

1186
00:40:52,872 --> 00:40:55,444
This is my weed all over the
floor now.

1187
00:40:58,118 --> 00:40:59,722
Now I'm gonna be smoking the
dust.

1188
00:41:00,191 --> 00:41:01,828
We're not gonna put that in

1189
00:41:01,828 --> 00:41:02,363
the --

1190
00:41:02,363 --> 00:41:04,001
that's like an old roach on
the ground.

1191
00:41:05,137 --> 00:41:08,746
One, two, three.

1192
00:41:08,746 --> 00:41:12,722
[Device hums]

1193
00:41:12,722 --> 00:41:14,227
Man, you should go on

1194
00:41:14,227 --> 00:41:15,998
"Martha Stewart" and do this.

1195
00:41:15,998 --> 00:41:16,700
Go ahead.

1196
00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:18,437
Knock more shit on the floor
tough.

1197
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:20,442
It's all set to go.

1198
00:41:20,442 --> 00:41:21,178
All right.

1199
00:41:21,178 --> 00:41:22,515
I don't know if I'm gonna be

1200
00:41:22,515 --> 00:41:23,550
able to do all that.

1201
00:41:23,550 --> 00:41:25,323
I might just resort to smoking
it.

1202
00:41:25,723 --> 00:41:27,461
I'm telling you, I think is

1203
00:41:27,461 --> 00:41:29,066
so much better for you than
smoking it.

1204
00:41:29,867 --> 00:41:31,638
I know it's much better for

1205
00:41:31,638 --> 00:41:33,377
me, but a pain in the ass.

1206
00:41:33,377 --> 00:41:36,785
Push in on it.

1207
00:41:36,785 --> 00:41:44,238
That's a huge rip.

1208
00:41:44,238 --> 00:41:47,847
# Like I never did before #

1209
00:41:47,847 --> 00:41:49,218
right?

1210
00:41:49,218 --> 00:41:53,528
# Let me love you

1211
00:41:53,528 --> 00:41:58,442
like I never did before #

1212
00:41:58,442 --> 00:42:02,419
# let me love you

1213
00:42:02,419 --> 00:42:07,432
no-o-o-w #

1214
00:42:07,432 --> 00:42:12,178
# let me hold you

1215
00:42:12,178 --> 00:42:15,453
like I never did before #

1216
00:42:15,453 --> 00:42:20,632
# and you won't be afraid when I

1217
00:42:20,632 --> 00:42:25,077
call your name #

1218
00:42:25,077 --> 00:42:29,722
# let me love you... #

1219
00:42:29,722 --> 00:42:30,792
I like it!

1220
00:42:30,792 --> 00:42:32,830
I like all the -wait, I was

1221
00:42:32,830 --> 00:42:34,569
just about to talk about

1222
00:42:34,569 --> 00:42:36,240
something I don't like.

1223
00:42:36,240 --> 00:42:38,813
You fucked me up.

1224
00:42:38,813 --> 00:42:40,384
You're like, "these are the

1225
00:42:40,384 --> 00:42:41,921
droids you're looking for."

1226
00:42:41,921 --> 00:42:43,359
I'm like, "I like it now.

1227
00:42:43,359 --> 00:42:44,595
I like anti-pot ads."

1228
00:42:44,595 --> 00:42:46,299
That doesn't make any sense at

1229
00:42:46,299 --> 00:42:46,734
all.

1230
00:42:46,734 --> 00:42:47,537
I hate them.

1231
00:42:47,537 --> 00:42:49,207
Hate anti-pot ads 'cause they

1232
00:42:49,207 --> 00:42:50,944
come on late at night when I'm

1233
00:42:50,944 --> 00:42:52,749
sitting at home trying to relax,

1234
00:42:52,749 --> 00:42:54,019
smoke a joint, watch some

1235
00:42:54,019 --> 00:42:55,223
televised entertainment.

1236
00:42:55,223 --> 00:42:56,692
Suddenly a commercial comes on

1237
00:42:56,692 --> 00:42:58,197
with a big, heavy message like,

1238
00:42:58,197 --> 00:43:01,171
"just tell grandma that you

1239
00:43:01,171 --> 00:43:04,581
couldn't pick her up because you
got high."

1240
00:43:05,984 --> 00:43:08,089
I'm watching that, I'm thinking,
"good idea."

1241
00:43:09,059 --> 00:43:12,969
[Laughter]

1242
00:43:12,969 --> 00:43:15,174
I've been lying to grandma for

1243
00:43:15,174 --> 00:43:17,112
years about my pot-smoking
problem.

1244
00:43:17,915 --> 00:43:20,087
Now I can finally tell her the
truth.

1245
00:43:20,788 --> 00:43:22,893
Call her up, "grandma, I can't

1246
00:43:22,893 --> 00:43:23,896
pick you up.

1247
00:43:23,896 --> 00:43:25,501
I've been using my new

1248
00:43:25,501 --> 00:43:26,471
vaporizer."

1249
00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:31,984
[Laughter]

1250
00:43:31,984 --> 00:43:34,525
Wow!

1251
00:43:34,659 --> 00:43:41,610
This is from the health center.

1252
00:43:41,743 --> 00:43:42,713
I don't know this.

1253
00:43:42,713 --> 00:43:43,481
Do I do this?

1254
00:43:43,481 --> 00:43:44,484
No, just hit it.

1255
00:43:44,484 --> 00:43:46,055
I just suck -just stream it
in.

1256
00:43:46,423 --> 00:43:47,123
Exactly.

1257
00:43:47,123 --> 00:43:47,926
It's ready.

1258
00:43:47,926 --> 00:43:53,709
Drag it.

1259
00:43:53,709 --> 00:43:55,647
It's good. U taste it more.

1260
00:43:55,647 --> 00:43:56,515
Yeah, yeah.

1261
00:43:56,515 --> 00:43:57,985
It's definitely got a taste.

1262
00:43:57,985 --> 00:43:58,987
You know what?

1263
00:43:58,987 --> 00:44:00,459
I had a vaporizer for like a

1264
00:44:00,459 --> 00:44:02,129
day, and I left it at

1265
00:44:02,129 --> 00:44:03,801
Adam Carolla's house.

1266
00:44:03,801 --> 00:44:05,972
You're burning all the THC

1267
00:44:05,972 --> 00:44:07,477
and none of the carcinomas.

1268
00:44:07,477 --> 00:44:09,148
It's health nut -it's like
vegan...

1269
00:44:09,750 --> 00:44:11,186
It's like California --

1270
00:44:11,186 --> 00:44:13,024
Oh, Doug!

1271
00:44:13,024 --> 00:44:14,696
Sorry.

1272
00:44:14,696 --> 00:44:17,369
I'm not your cat.

1273
00:44:17,369 --> 00:44:19,274
I don't have a cat.

1274
00:44:19,274 --> 00:44:22,984
[Guitar strumming]

1275
00:44:22,984 --> 00:44:29,635
[Bell dings]

1276
00:44:29,635 --> 00:44:33,243
[Exhales sharply]

1277
00:44:33,243 --> 00:44:34,848
Ooh!

1278
00:44:34,848 --> 00:44:36,921
You excited that this place has

1279
00:44:36,921 --> 00:44:37,923
reopened?

1280
00:44:38,056 --> 00:44:40,094
Well, I think it's only fair.

1281
00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:41,732
My practice is focused on

1282
00:44:41,732 --> 00:44:43,370
criminal defense, so it's

1283
00:44:43,370 --> 00:44:45,174
unfortunate that you use the

1284
00:44:45,174 --> 00:44:47,046
word "criminal defense" in the

1285
00:44:47,046 --> 00:44:48,852
same sentence as dealing with

1286
00:44:48,852 --> 00:44:50,388
patients because they've

1287
00:44:50,388 --> 00:44:52,227
criminalized this.

1288
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,563
They have to basically start

1289
00:44:53,563 --> 00:44:54,500
from scratch again.

1290
00:44:54,500 --> 00:44:55,803
Their computers were all taken
away.

1291
00:44:56,170 --> 00:44:57,440
All their patient records were
taken away.

1292
00:44:58,041 --> 00:44:59,311
They had to get everything
together.

1293
00:44:59,813 --> 00:45:03,221
The product was taken.

1294
00:45:03,221 --> 00:45:04,726
And how are they able to

1295
00:45:04,726 --> 00:45:05,294
reopen?

1296
00:45:05,294 --> 00:45:06,932
What had to happen for them to

1297
00:45:06,932 --> 00:45:08,034
get to this point?

1298
00:45:08,034 --> 00:45:09,639
They're abiding by the laws
here.

1299
00:45:10,106 --> 00:45:11,644
There's a state law in place
here.

1300
00:45:12,111 --> 00:45:13,816
They're not committing any kind

1301
00:45:13,816 --> 00:45:15,387
of crimes here.

1302
00:45:15,387 --> 00:45:17,994
Could I get a gram of the

1303
00:45:17,994 --> 00:45:19,497
platinum O.G. Kush?

1304
00:45:19,497 --> 00:45:21,335
Maybe a kushbar and a

1305
00:45:21,335 --> 00:45:22,606
Maui Wowie.

1306
00:45:22,606 --> 00:45:24,243
A chocolate peanut-butter

1307
00:45:24,243 --> 00:45:25,948
sandwich, a kushbar, and a

1308
00:45:25,948 --> 00:45:26,816
Maui Wowie.

1309
00:45:26,816 --> 00:45:29,189
Cucumber, wire, boat.

1310
00:46:07,388 --> 00:46:08,758
[Bell dings]

1311
00:46:08,758 --> 00:46:10,630
Well, hello, Doug.

1312
00:46:10,630 --> 00:46:11,633
Hello.

1313
00:46:11,633 --> 00:46:14,239
So, today is your first week

1314
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,112
of being back on pot.

1315
00:46:16,112 --> 00:46:17,481
So, how are you doing?

1316
00:46:17,481 --> 00:46:20,724
Um...great.

1317
00:46:20,724 --> 00:46:21,792
[Laughs]

1318
00:46:21,792 --> 00:46:24,265
It's kind of, uh, a little bit

1319
00:46:24,265 --> 00:46:25,702
back to normal.

1320
00:46:25,702 --> 00:46:28,845
It seems like it's fairly

1321
00:46:28,845 --> 00:46:30,883
important for you to communicate

1322
00:46:30,883 --> 00:46:32,688
to me that marijuana doesn't

1323
00:46:32,688 --> 00:46:34,125
change you very much.

1324
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:36,164
You really want me to hear that

1325
00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:37,533
Yeah, it probably sounds

1326
00:46:37,533 --> 00:46:38,636
defensive, too, a little bit,

1327
00:46:38,636 --> 00:46:42,747
like, "yeah, I'm the same guy

1328
00:46:42,747 --> 00:46:44,786
either way."

1329
00:46:44,786 --> 00:46:46,958
Would you mind if I smoked

1330
00:46:46,958 --> 00:46:48,830
pot before our sessions?

1331
00:46:48,830 --> 00:46:49,799
Really?

1332
00:46:49,799 --> 00:46:52,172
I'm just asking how you would

1333
00:46:52,172 --> 00:46:54,010
feel if I were to do it.

1334
00:46:54,010 --> 00:46:55,981
I guess it would depend on

1335
00:46:55,981 --> 00:46:57,385
how it changes you.

1336
00:46:57,385 --> 00:46:59,390
Who knows, you might seem more

1337
00:46:59,390 --> 00:47:01,328
interested in me if you were

1338
00:47:01,328 --> 00:47:03,333
high, which would make me like
it more.

1339
00:47:04,102 --> 00:47:04,804
I don't know.

1340
00:47:04,804 --> 00:47:06,209
I was wondering how much you

1341
00:47:06,209 --> 00:47:07,611
felt I was interested in you as
it is.

1342
00:47:08,047 --> 00:47:10,152
[Laughs]

1343
00:47:10,152 --> 00:47:12,157
You seem interested enough, but

1344
00:47:12,157 --> 00:47:13,995
that's the thing about it is

1345
00:47:13,995 --> 00:47:15,732
that's your job is to seem
interested.

1346
00:47:16,635 --> 00:47:18,640
This is why I wouldn't ever pay

1347
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,645
a therapist 'cause they fucking

1348
00:47:20,645 --> 00:47:21,916
make you go crazy.

1349
00:47:21,916 --> 00:47:23,219
[Laughter]

1350
00:47:23,219 --> 00:47:25,324
He says to me, "would you like

1351
00:47:25,324 --> 00:47:27,263
it if I smoked pot sometime

1352
00:47:27,263 --> 00:47:28,766
before our session?"

1353
00:47:28,766 --> 00:47:30,839
And then, when you start that

1354
00:47:30,839 --> 00:47:32,777
kind of conversation with a

1355
00:47:32,777 --> 00:47:34,882
therapist, it just becomes him

1356
00:47:34,882 --> 00:47:37,055
going, "well, do you want me to

1357
00:47:37,055 --> 00:47:39,295
think that you think that I want

1358
00:47:39,295 --> 00:47:41,400
you to be high while I'm high
doing it?"

1359
00:47:42,303 --> 00:47:44,507
It gets very convoluted, and I

1360
00:47:44,507 --> 00:47:46,379
was already fucking high.

1361
00:47:46,379 --> 00:47:48,384
And I'm pretty sure that he
wasn't.

1362
00:47:49,119 --> 00:47:49,989
[Bell dings]

1363
00:47:49,989 --> 00:47:51,592
But here's the thing -I find

1364
00:47:51,592 --> 00:47:53,130
this place that's like right

1365
00:47:53,130 --> 00:47:54,634
next to my home, and they're

1366
00:47:54,634 --> 00:47:57,875
doing it on religion.

1367
00:47:57,875 --> 00:47:59,546
They're distributing pot as a

1368
00:47:59,546 --> 00:48:00,716
religious movement.

1369
00:48:00,716 --> 00:48:02,153
So you don't even need a
license.

1370
00:48:02,788 --> 00:48:04,326
You just go in and buy it.

1371
00:48:04,326 --> 00:48:05,628
Okay, got to be serious.

1372
00:48:05,628 --> 00:48:06,530
This is church.

1373
00:48:06,530 --> 00:48:07,701
It's time for church.

1374
00:48:07,701 --> 00:48:09,272
And in revelation, it talks

1375
00:48:09,272 --> 00:48:10,809
about a plant for the healing of

1376
00:48:10,809 --> 00:48:12,414
all nations, which cannabis is.

1377
00:48:12,414 --> 00:48:14,118
So we're selling weed for the

1378
00:48:14,118 --> 00:48:15,789
lord on Hollywood Boulevard.

1379
00:48:15,789 --> 00:48:17,626
All right, welcome to temple 420

1380
00:48:17,626 --> 00:48:18,930
services today.

1381
00:48:19,064 --> 00:48:20,869
Everyone, Doug Benson was on

1382
00:48:20,869 --> 00:48:22,740
"last comic standing," and we

1383
00:48:22,740 --> 00:48:24,577
invited him to come the other

1384
00:48:24,577 --> 00:48:26,450
evening to our comedy, but he

1385
00:48:26,450 --> 00:48:28,355
wasn't sure because he doesn't

1386
00:48:28,355 --> 00:48:30,093
fully believe in god.

1387
00:48:30,226 --> 00:48:32,098
So, he's here to come to the

1388
00:48:32,098 --> 00:48:33,601
services and check out

1389
00:48:33,601 --> 00:48:35,573
temple 420, our 4:20 services.

1390
00:48:35,573 --> 00:48:36,743
He said it so

1391
00:48:36,743 --> 00:48:37,979
matter-of-factly.

1392
00:48:37,979 --> 00:48:39,784
"And he doesn't believe

1393
00:48:39,784 --> 00:48:41,823
so, everybody, there's gonna be

1394
00:48:41,823 --> 00:48:42,826
punch and..."

1395
00:48:42,826 --> 00:48:44,397
there will be punch.

1396
00:48:44,397 --> 00:48:46,202
Do the atheists get punch?

1397
00:48:46,202 --> 00:48:48,140
The atheist gets punch, too,

1398
00:48:48,140 --> 00:48:49,777
right in the face with the
truth.

1399
00:48:50,345 --> 00:48:52,217
[Laughs]

1400
00:48:52,217 --> 00:48:54,021
You've never been to our temple
be

1401
00:48:54,523 --> 00:48:56,361
we'll just let you know, we're a

1402
00:48:56,361 --> 00:48:57,697
Judeo-Christian temple.

1403
00:48:57,697 --> 00:48:59,436
You happen to be on Saturday, so

1404
00:48:59,436 --> 00:49:01,173
we have the old testament Jewy

1405
00:49:01,173 --> 00:49:02,176
thing going on.

1406
00:49:02,176 --> 00:49:04,282
You come back tomorrow, we got

1407
00:49:04,282 --> 00:49:06,354
the new testament, all right?

1408
00:49:06,354 --> 00:49:08,459
So, feel free to come back any

1409
00:49:08,459 --> 00:49:08,994
day.

1410
00:49:08,994 --> 00:49:10,999
Services are always at 4:20.

1411
00:49:10,999 --> 00:49:12,470
I'd like to tell you a joke

1412
00:49:12,470 --> 00:49:14,007
'cause I don't think any of the

1413
00:49:14,007 --> 00:49:15,545
material up here today has been

1414
00:49:15,545 --> 00:49:17,115
aimed at you specifically, but I

1415
00:49:17,115 --> 00:49:18,553
think you'd really enjoy this
joke.

1416
00:49:18,986 --> 00:49:22,996
Why did the little strawberry
cry?

1417
00:49:24,066 --> 00:49:27,274
Because his mother was in a jam.

1418
00:49:27,274 --> 00:49:28,545
Me on!

1419
00:49:28,545 --> 00:49:30,182
And then they put weed in it,

1420
00:49:30,182 --> 00:49:31,819
and everybody got really high.

1421
00:49:31,819 --> 00:49:35,295
So, anyway, um...

1422
00:49:35,295 --> 00:49:42,080
Saturday and Sunday at 4:20,
right?

1423
00:49:42,581 --> 00:49:44,319
And we went today, and I brought

1424
00:49:44,319 --> 00:49:45,788
like three or four friends.

1425
00:49:45,788 --> 00:49:47,427
And then there were some

1426
00:49:47,427 --> 00:49:49,332
children running around and a

1427
00:49:49,332 --> 00:49:50,702
couple other dudes.

1428
00:49:50,702 --> 00:49:54,445
And there was a whole service

1429
00:49:54,445 --> 00:49:57,987
built around why, you know,

1430
00:49:57,987 --> 00:49:59,625
since the lord is good and we

1431
00:49:59,625 --> 00:50:03,902
love the lord -weed.

1432
00:50:03,902 --> 00:50:05,173
[Bell dings]

1433
00:50:05,173 --> 00:50:07,345
[Alarm clock beeping]

1434
00:50:14,998 --> 00:50:17,237
# Sober #

1435
00:50:17,237 --> 00:50:20,580
# I don't know which way to go #

1436
00:50:20,580 --> 00:50:22,250
# I'm feeling older #

1437
00:50:22,250 --> 00:50:24,390
# a different town, another

1438
00:50:24,390 --> 00:50:26,595
show #

1439
00:50:26,595 --> 00:50:30,171
that's real nice.

1440
00:50:30,171 --> 00:50:33,213
That's real good.

1441
00:50:33,213 --> 00:50:35,486
I already see a star is gonna be

1442
00:50:35,486 --> 00:50:37,724
the first one.

1443
00:50:37,724 --> 00:50:39,396
I'm already feeling it.

1444
00:50:39,529 --> 00:50:44,174
And, Doug, what's your guess?

1445
00:50:44,307 --> 00:50:46,247
I'm gonna guess star.

1446
00:50:46,247 --> 00:50:48,117
First guess is star.

1447
00:50:48,117 --> 00:50:52,663
Second card. Holding it up.

1448
00:50:52,663 --> 00:50:55,103
I'm gonna guess square.

1449
00:50:55,103 --> 00:50:56,273
Square.

1450
00:50:56,273 --> 00:50:59,981
Third guess. Hold it up.

1451
00:50:59,981 --> 00:51:02,824
Uh...triangle.

1452
00:51:02,824 --> 00:51:08,169
Fourth guess. Hold it up.

1453
00:51:08,169 --> 00:51:09,474
Circle.

1454
00:51:09,474 --> 00:51:11,880
Seven right this time.

1455
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,453
The first time, you got one

1456
00:51:14,453 --> 00:51:16,826
right, so you've done seven
times better.

1457
00:51:18,296 --> 00:51:20,870
However, since you only got

1458
00:51:20,870 --> 00:51:23,443
seven out of 25, there's no

1459
00:51:23,443 --> 00:51:25,448
evidence of psychic ability.

1460
00:51:30,093 --> 00:51:32,266
[Bell dings]

1461
00:51:39,886 --> 00:51:41,088
How about medical

1462
00:51:41,088 --> 00:51:41,958
prostitution?

1463
00:51:41,958 --> 00:51:43,629
'Cause that's something that I

1464
00:51:43,629 --> 00:51:44,966
would be interested in.

1465
00:51:44,966 --> 00:51:46,737
I don't smoke pot, and I'll join

1466
00:51:46,737 --> 00:51:48,709
your fight if you'll join mine.

1467
00:51:48,842 --> 00:51:51,214
Yeah, I'll join your fight.

1468
00:51:51,214 --> 00:51:53,153
That's an awesome fight.

1469
00:51:53,153 --> 00:51:55,527
We're gonna fight prostitutes?

1470
00:51:55,527 --> 00:51:57,197
I'm having trouble following
this.

1471
00:51:57,732 --> 00:51:59,036
I smoke a lot of pot.

1472
00:51:59,036 --> 00:52:00,505
Medical prostitution.

1473
00:52:00,505 --> 00:52:02,010
I realize prostitution is

1474
00:52:02,010 --> 00:52:03,580
illegal, but I need it for

1475
00:52:03,580 --> 00:52:04,617
medical purposes.

1476
00:52:04,617 --> 00:52:06,287
I think marijuana is a much,

1477
00:52:06,287 --> 00:52:08,026
much, much more victimless crime

1478
00:52:08,026 --> 00:52:09,362
than prostitution 'cause

1479
00:52:09,362 --> 00:52:11,034
unfortunately the women that do

1480
00:52:11,034 --> 00:52:12,504
the prostituting got there

1481
00:52:12,504 --> 00:52:13,874
somehow that was probably
terrible.

1482
00:52:14,542 --> 00:52:15,980
And you should talk to the

1483
00:52:15,980 --> 00:52:17,550
guy that you have to know to get

1484
00:52:17,550 --> 00:52:18,586
the prostitute, too.

1485
00:52:18,586 --> 00:52:20,124
That guy is way worse than your
guy.

1486
00:52:20,491 --> 00:52:22,530
My guy is never -I've never

1487
00:52:22,530 --> 00:52:24,334
had a dealer slap me around.

1488
00:52:24,334 --> 00:52:25,037
Not yet.

1489
00:52:25,037 --> 00:52:26,473
And tell me to wait in the
car.

1490
00:52:26,875 --> 00:52:34,461
[Bell dings]

1491
00:52:34,461 --> 00:52:37,034
Welcome to Minneapolis.

1492
00:52:37,034 --> 00:52:38,739
Thanks.

1493
00:52:47,963 --> 00:52:49,767
What's the proper way to address

1494
00:52:49,767 --> 00:52:50,770
you -Senator?

1495
00:52:50,770 --> 00:52:51,806
That or John.

1496
00:52:51,806 --> 00:52:52,675
I don't care.

1497
00:52:52,675 --> 00:52:53,811
Whatever you wish.

1498
00:52:53,811 --> 00:52:54,713
[Laughs]

1499
00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:56,017
Senator John.

1500
00:52:56,151 --> 00:52:58,156
I believe you're the first

1501
00:52:58,156 --> 00:53:00,394
politician that's been willing

1502
00:53:00,394 --> 00:53:02,567
to speak on camera about this
subject.

1503
00:53:03,402 --> 00:53:05,541
I was coauthor of several

1504
00:53:05,541 --> 00:53:07,647
medical-marijuana bills just

1505
00:53:07,647 --> 00:53:09,752
because I had seen and talked to

1506
00:53:09,752 --> 00:53:11,825
enough people who were using it

1507
00:53:11,825 --> 00:53:13,295
for medical purposes.

1508
00:53:13,295 --> 00:53:15,268
But, you know, I'm probably a

1509
00:53:15,268 --> 00:53:17,405
perfect example of one who never

1510
00:53:17,405 --> 00:53:19,745
tried a cigarette, never smoked

1511
00:53:19,745 --> 00:53:21,884
a joint, hasn't done so, and

1512
00:53:21,884 --> 00:53:23,656
don't intend to do so.

1513
00:53:23,656 --> 00:53:25,526
And I just think that the idea

1514
00:53:25,526 --> 00:53:27,499
that government is gonna step in

1515
00:53:27,499 --> 00:53:29,403
there and tell every doctor and

1516
00:53:29,403 --> 00:53:31,108
patient, no matter how hard

1517
00:53:31,108 --> 00:53:32,812
they're hurting, that we're not

1518
00:53:32,812 --> 00:53:34,550
gonna let you do this because we

1519
00:53:34,550 --> 00:53:36,088
have this other fear that's

1520
00:53:36,088 --> 00:53:37,725
nothing related to what you're
doing.

1521
00:53:38,260 --> 00:53:39,797
If you talk with somebody

1522
00:53:39,797 --> 00:53:41,535
suffering, you know this makes a
difference.

1523
00:53:42,304 --> 00:53:43,406
I don't care what fear you have.

1524
00:53:43,406 --> 00:53:44,476
It seems to me that you got to

1525
00:53:44,476 --> 00:53:46,448
try and do the right thing.

1526
00:53:46,581 --> 00:53:48,253
People that need marijuana,

1527
00:53:48,253 --> 00:53:49,857
they're not doing it because

1528
00:53:49,857 --> 00:53:51,494
it's fun, it's enjoyable, and

1529
00:53:51,494 --> 00:53:52,396
it's exciting.

1530
00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:55,839
It's something that no other

1531
00:53:55,839 --> 00:53:58,380
medication, whether prescribable

1532
00:53:58,380 --> 00:54:00,351
or not, can deliver what

1533
00:54:00,351 --> 00:54:02,757
marijuana does and can provide

1534
00:54:02,757 --> 00:54:04,061
me with the quality of life.

1535
00:54:04,128 --> 00:54:05,631
The first time I tried it was

1536
00:54:05,631 --> 00:54:06,801
when I was actually 17.

1537
00:54:06,801 --> 00:54:08,339
I didn't try it any earlier than
that.

1538
00:54:08,739 --> 00:54:10,109
And I just -the first time I

1539
00:54:10,109 --> 00:54:11,414
went through chemotherapy was

1540
00:54:11,414 --> 00:54:13,284
when I was 17.

1541
00:54:13,419 --> 00:54:15,891
And it was actually my mom and

1542
00:54:15,891 --> 00:54:18,365
my best friend at the time got

1543
00:54:18,365 --> 00:54:21,539
me a little bag and said, "do
it."

1544
00:54:22,140 --> 00:54:25,717
And it has helped tremendously

1545
00:54:25,717 --> 00:54:27,655
with anxiety, with pain, with
everything.

1546
00:54:28,557 --> 00:54:30,429
Personally, I look at you

1547
00:54:30,429 --> 00:54:32,368
guys and I say you don't need

1548
00:54:32,368 --> 00:54:33,236
it, right?

1549
00:54:33,236 --> 00:54:35,208
But I'm not a doctor, okay?

1550
00:54:35,208 --> 00:54:37,314
If you went to a doctor and a

1551
00:54:37,314 --> 00:54:39,586
doctor has sat down with you and

1552
00:54:39,586 --> 00:54:41,825
he's willing to put his license

1553
00:54:41,825 --> 00:54:44,098
on the line to say that you guys

1554
00:54:44,098 --> 00:54:46,203
need it, nobody else can tell

1555
00:54:46,203 --> 00:54:48,410
you whether you need it or not

1556
00:54:48,410 --> 00:54:50,715
just because you don't look like

1557
00:54:50,715 --> 00:54:51,750
you need it.

1558
00:54:51,750 --> 00:54:54,291
The only reason people accept me

1559
00:54:54,291 --> 00:54:56,798
for using it is 'cause they see

1560
00:54:56,798 --> 00:55:02,846
me in a chair.

1561
00:55:02,846 --> 00:55:04,818
Exhibit "a."

1562
00:55:04,818 --> 00:55:06,857
Exhibit "b."

1563
00:55:06,857 --> 00:55:12,705
Exhibit "c."

1564
00:55:12,705 --> 00:55:15,947
# No more will I be afraid #

1565
00:55:15,947 --> 00:55:17,685
there's a commercial on now

1566
00:55:17,685 --> 00:55:19,456
that's the absolute worst one,

1567
00:55:19,456 --> 00:55:21,596
where a young teenage lady --

1568
00:55:21,596 --> 00:55:23,934
girl -is melting into a couch.

1569
00:55:23,934 --> 00:55:25,839
She's physically melting.

1570
00:55:25,839 --> 00:55:27,210
Have you seen it?

1571
00:55:27,210 --> 00:55:29,149
Her body is transforming.

1572
00:55:29,149 --> 00:55:37,169
She's like, "brraaah."

1573
00:55:37,169 --> 00:55:38,873
She's melting, and there's a

1574
00:55:38,873 --> 00:55:40,645
girl sitting next to her that

1575
00:55:40,645 --> 00:55:42,115
goes, "she smokes pot."

1576
00:55:42,115 --> 00:55:44,556
[Laughter]

1577
00:55:44,556 --> 00:55:45,991
"This is what she's been like

1578
00:55:45,991 --> 00:55:47,462
ever since she started smoking
pot.

1579
00:55:47,829 --> 00:55:49,066
This is all we ever do."

1580
00:55:49,066 --> 00:55:50,604
Okay, first of all, the girl who

1581
00:55:50,604 --> 00:55:52,174
doesn't smoke pot -not exactly

1582
00:55:52,174 --> 00:55:53,478
the most fucking sparkling

1583
00:55:53,478 --> 00:55:55,082
personality in the world.

1584
00:55:55,082 --> 00:55:56,987
How much of a loser do you have

1585
00:55:56,987 --> 00:55:58,792
to be to be the person that's

1586
00:55:58,792 --> 00:56:00,730
more boring than the stoner and

1587
00:56:00,730 --> 00:56:02,535
has nothing better to do than

1588
00:56:02,535 --> 00:56:05,175
sit and watch the stoner melt

1589
00:56:05,175 --> 00:56:07,983
and not even fucking call 911...

1590
00:56:07,983 --> 00:56:10,389
[laughter]

1591
00:56:10,389 --> 00:56:13,062
...or even 411 to say, "I've got

1592
00:56:13,062 --> 00:56:15,569
some interesting information"?

1593
00:56:15,569 --> 00:56:19,846
[Laughs]

1594
00:56:19,846 --> 00:56:21,718
So, the girl's melting into the
couch.

1595
00:56:22,287 --> 00:56:24,191
Let's pick up where we left off.

1596
00:56:24,191 --> 00:56:25,428
The girl's melting.

1597
00:56:25,428 --> 00:56:27,132
And as a pot smoker, I'm not
deterred.

1598
00:56:27,833 --> 00:56:29,539
I'm watching that commercial

1599
00:56:29,539 --> 00:56:31,310
going, "how do I get ahold of

1600
00:56:31,310 --> 00:56:32,546
some of that weed?"

1601
00:56:32,546 --> 00:56:34,952
[Laughter]

1602
00:56:34,952 --> 00:56:37,627
"That is some amazing shit that

1603
00:56:37,627 --> 00:56:39,464
I would like to try.

1604
00:56:39,464 --> 00:56:42,004
I have been smoking the 'can't

1605
00:56:42,004 --> 00:56:44,076
find my keys' weed, and

1606
00:56:44,076 --> 00:56:46,783
somewhere in the world, there is

1607
00:56:46,783 --> 00:56:49,122
some 'melting into the couch'

1608
00:56:49,122 --> 00:56:51,663
shit that would be an incredible
ride.

1609
00:56:52,365 --> 00:56:54,169
Plus, if I melted into the

1610
00:56:54,169 --> 00:56:56,174
couch, maybe I'd find my keys.

1611
00:56:56,174 --> 00:56:59,483
It would be a win-win

1612
00:56:59,483 --> 00:57:02,924
situation."

1613
00:57:02,924 --> 00:57:05,365
So, this is what one guy gave me

1614
00:57:05,365 --> 00:57:07,570
last night, this really nice
fellow...

1615
00:57:11,581 --> 00:57:13,252
who said he heard me on the

1616
00:57:13,252 --> 00:57:14,756
radio yesterday morning.

1617
00:57:14,756 --> 00:57:16,561
And he and his girlfriend were

1618
00:57:16,561 --> 00:57:18,365
like, "we have to go see him."

1619
00:57:18,365 --> 00:57:21,974
This I got from someone else,

1620
00:57:21,974 --> 00:57:23,814
who does not want to be named.

1621
00:57:23,814 --> 00:57:27,456
And this one I got from yet a

1622
00:57:27,456 --> 00:57:29,059
third party who doesn't want to
be named.

1623
00:57:29,662 --> 00:57:31,265
And we just made a blend of all

1624
00:57:31,265 --> 00:57:34,875
three and enjoyed it before our

1625
00:57:34,875 --> 00:57:38,015
day at mall of America.

1626
00:57:57,634 --> 00:57:59,405
Last time I was here in

1627
00:57:59,405 --> 00:58:01,711
beautiful Minneapolis, I went to

1628
00:58:01,711 --> 00:58:03,984
go get my flight out on Sunday,

1629
00:58:03,984 --> 00:58:05,923
and I'm walking around the
terminal.

1630
00:58:06,791 --> 00:58:09,130
I can't find my gate, can't find
my gate.

1631
00:58:09,933 --> 00:58:12,539
Hours go by -hours.

1632
00:58:12,539 --> 00:58:14,679
And then I finally realize I'm

1633
00:58:14,679 --> 00:58:16,182
at Mall of America.

1634
00:58:16,182 --> 00:58:18,421
[Laughter]

1635
00:58:18,421 --> 00:58:20,427
I wrote that joke today when I

1636
00:58:20,427 --> 00:58:22,332
was high at Mall of America.

1637
00:58:22,332 --> 00:58:30,218
[Bell dings]

1638
00:58:30,352 --> 00:58:32,524
This is the brownie portion

1639
00:58:32,524 --> 00:58:33,594
of the exam.

1640
00:58:33,594 --> 00:58:34,764
You may begin.

1641
00:58:34,764 --> 00:58:39,242
[Bell dings]

1642
00:58:39,376 --> 00:58:42,417
I'm totally gonna lose a lot

1643
00:58:42,417 --> 00:58:43,988
of points for not being able to

1644
00:58:43,988 --> 00:58:44,555
open it.

1645
00:58:44,555 --> 00:58:47,295
I'm not gonna sit here and not
try.

1646
00:58:47,998 --> 00:58:51,006
[Stupidly] uh...

1647
00:58:51,006 --> 00:58:53,479
uh...

1648
00:59:04,742 --> 00:59:05,945
how have you been feeling?

1649
00:59:05,945 --> 00:59:07,247
What has your mood been like in

1650
00:59:07,247 --> 00:59:09,655
the last week?

1651
00:59:09,655 --> 00:59:12,863
Um, mostly good.

1652
00:59:12,863 --> 00:59:14,735
Would you describe your mood
as euphoric?

1653
00:59:15,703 --> 00:59:17,743
Yeah, that's a good word for

1654
00:59:17,743 --> 00:59:19,981
it.

1655
00:59:19,981 --> 00:59:21,084
Anybody want to come up here

1656
00:59:21,084 --> 00:59:21,954
and get high with Doug?

1657
00:59:21,954 --> 00:59:22,454
Come on up.

1658
00:59:22,454 --> 00:59:24,126
[Cheers]

1659
00:59:24,259 --> 00:59:25,596
As you get high, anyone in the

1660
00:59:25,596 --> 00:59:27,033
audience who didn't want to come

1661
00:59:27,033 --> 00:59:28,369
up here and get high with Doug

1662
00:59:28,369 --> 00:59:30,843
can get high in the audience.

1663
00:59:30,843 --> 00:59:31,410
Wow.

1664
00:59:31,410 --> 00:59:32,948
And try to get the person

1665
00:59:32,948 --> 00:59:33,985
next to you high.

1666
00:59:33,985 --> 00:59:35,722
Here, this is already packed,
so...

1667
00:59:36,892 --> 00:59:38,129
oh, you were gonna get her
high?

1668
00:59:38,496 --> 00:59:39,632
I'll just get her high.

1669
00:59:39,632 --> 00:59:40,535
I don't give a shit.

1670
00:59:40,535 --> 00:59:42,573
[Laughter]

1671
00:59:42,573 --> 00:59:46,751
[Cheers]

1672
00:59:46,751 --> 00:59:48,421
No, you don't -there's no
carbon.

1673
00:59:49,057 --> 00:59:50,026
Just do it.

1674
00:59:50,026 --> 00:59:51,998
"That's America," someone

1675
00:59:51,998 --> 00:59:52,967
yelled out.

1676
00:59:52,967 --> 00:59:54,103
You hear that?

1677
00:59:54,103 --> 00:59:56,075
America!

1678
00:59:56,075 --> 00:59:57,679
Yeah!

1679
00:59:57,679 --> 00:59:59,885
[Cheers and applause]

1680
00:59:59,885 --> 01:00:00,955
Thank you very much.

1681
01:00:00,955 --> 01:00:02,225
You're welcome very much.

1682
01:00:02,225 --> 01:00:03,360
You kidding me?

1683
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:04,463
Okay, so...

1684
01:00:04,463 --> 01:00:06,501
okay, Doug's gonna get a little

1685
01:00:06,501 --> 01:00:10,045
more high.

1686
01:00:10,045 --> 01:00:11,682
[Laughter]

1687
01:00:11,682 --> 01:00:13,621
That was a pretty big hit there.

1688
01:00:13,621 --> 01:00:15,492
You may have your sensibilities

1689
01:00:15,492 --> 01:00:17,397
offended right now, but you are

1690
01:00:17,397 --> 01:00:19,168
not being made to smoke dope.

1691
01:00:19,168 --> 01:00:21,107
We got a pretty good ventilation
system.

1692
01:00:21,708 --> 01:00:23,078
It's mostly going up.

1693
01:00:23,078 --> 01:00:24,917
Upstairs they'll be completely
high.

1694
01:00:25,451 --> 01:00:26,321
[Laughter]

1695
01:00:26,321 --> 01:00:27,723
We vent right into the

1696
01:00:27,723 --> 01:00:28,928
apartments a

1697
01:00:28,928 --> 01:00:29,930
[sneezes]

1698
01:00:29,930 --> 01:00:31,367
I'm allergic to weed.

1699
01:00:31,367 --> 01:00:33,406
[Laughter]

1700
01:00:33,539 --> 01:00:35,912
The idea of the piece is that

1701
01:00:35,912 --> 01:00:40,190
myself and Rob Riggle are

1702
01:00:40,190 --> 01:00:41,592
undercover officers.

1703
01:00:41,727 --> 01:00:43,464
Everybody laughing it up at
comedy?

1704
01:00:44,100 --> 01:00:44,902
[Cheers]

1705
01:00:44,902 --> 01:00:45,770
Yeah? Yeah?

1706
01:00:45,770 --> 01:00:47,508
People smoking grass?

1707
01:00:47,508 --> 01:00:49,314
You guys, what's that?

1708
01:00:49,314 --> 01:00:51,118
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

1709
01:00:51,118 --> 01:00:52,688
Everybody know what this is?

1710
01:00:52,688 --> 01:00:53,324
Grass!

1711
01:00:53,324 --> 01:00:54,159
It's grass.

1712
01:00:54,159 --> 01:00:56,833
That's a pound of grass.

1713
01:00:56,833 --> 01:00:58,270
That's a pound of grass.

1714
01:00:58,270 --> 01:01:00,008
Street value -$2 million.

1715
01:01:00,008 --> 01:01:02,581
$2 million.

1716
01:01:02,581 --> 01:01:04,453
Pick any problem -what's the

1717
01:01:04,453 --> 01:01:06,291
number-one reason for divorce?

1718
01:01:06,291 --> 01:01:07,227
Marijuana.

1719
01:01:07,227 --> 01:01:08,163
Abortions?

1720
01:01:08,163 --> 01:01:09,098
Marijuana.

1721
01:01:09,098 --> 01:01:10,335
Volcanoes?

1722
01:01:10,335 --> 01:01:11,570
Marijuana.

1723
01:01:11,570 --> 01:01:14,111
Who caused hurricane Katrina?

1724
01:01:14,111 --> 01:01:16,216
Marijuana.

1725
01:01:16,216 --> 01:01:17,788
Why do people become Jewish?

1726
01:01:17,788 --> 01:01:18,556
Marijuana.

1727
01:01:18,556 --> 01:01:19,959
[Laughter]

1728
01:01:39,610 --> 01:01:47,799
[Bell dings]

1729
01:01:47,799 --> 01:01:49,669
[Speaking indistinctly over
intercom]

1730
01:01:55,819 --> 01:01:57,491
So, anyway, welcome to

1731
01:01:57,491 --> 01:01:58,426
Oaksterdam.

1732
01:01:58,426 --> 01:02:00,030
Thank you. I love it.

1733
01:02:00,030 --> 01:02:01,167
Isn't it awesome?

1734
01:02:01,167 --> 01:02:03,673
It's really great.

1735
01:02:03,673 --> 01:02:09,021
I usually describe it as

1736
01:02:09,021 --> 01:02:11,327
the counterculture's vision of

1737
01:02:11,327 --> 01:02:13,365
downtown redevelopment for

1738
01:02:13,365 --> 01:02:15,137
Oakland.

1739
01:02:15,270 --> 01:02:17,242
My name's Richard Lee, and

1740
01:02:17,242 --> 01:02:19,180
I'm the owner of the Bulldog

1741
01:02:19,180 --> 01:02:21,219
Coffee Shop and the Oaksterdam

1742
01:02:21,219 --> 01:02:23,258
Gift Shop and the publisher of

1743
01:02:23,258 --> 01:02:24,928
the Oaksterdam News.

1744
01:02:25,062 --> 01:02:26,566
This was the first place, so

1745
01:02:26,566 --> 01:02:28,170
it's matured, and things are --

1746
01:02:28,170 --> 01:02:29,740
this is the first municipality

1747
01:02:29,740 --> 01:02:30,743
to issue permits.

1748
01:02:30,743 --> 01:02:32,147
So I think it's a lot more

1749
01:02:32,147 --> 01:02:33,619
mature than the other places

1750
01:02:33,619 --> 01:02:35,088
that are just now getting clubs

1751
01:02:35,088 --> 01:02:36,292
in the first place.

1752
01:02:36,292 --> 01:02:37,962
You try to figure out the

1753
01:02:37,962 --> 01:02:39,533
overall cannabis market...

1754
01:02:39,533 --> 01:02:41,372
analysts rank cannabis as the

1755
01:02:41,372 --> 01:02:43,243
number-one cash crop in America,

1756
01:02:43,243 --> 01:02:45,315
well above cotton, wheat, and

1757
01:02:45,315 --> 01:02:47,019
tobacco, with California

1758
01:02:47,019 --> 01:02:48,857
responsible for 1/3 of the

1759
01:02:48,857 --> 01:02:50,663
entire country's cannabis supply.

1760
01:02:51,364 --> 01:02:53,704
In 2006 alone, estimated sales

1761
01:02:53,704 --> 01:02:55,642
from California cannabis

1762
01:02:55,642 --> 01:02:57,346
exceeded $12 billion.

1763
01:02:57,346 --> 01:02:59,819
If taxed, these sales could have

1764
01:02:59,819 --> 01:03:02,292
easily generated over $1 billion

1765
01:03:02,292 --> 01:03:04,932
in government revenue.

1766
01:03:04,932 --> 01:03:06,503
It's like it would be the new

1767
01:03:06,503 --> 01:03:07,673
lottery for California.

1768
01:03:07,673 --> 01:03:08,375
Exactly.

1769
01:03:08,375 --> 01:03:09,845
That's what I think it's gonna be.

1770
01:03:10,213 --> 01:03:11,818
Eventually it's gonna be a lot

1771
01:03:11,818 --> 01:03:12,686
like gambling.

1772
01:03:12,686 --> 01:03:14,223
SR71 is the first stealth

1773
01:03:14,223 --> 01:03:15,928
airplane, so we like to think of

1774
01:03:15,928 --> 01:03:17,164
ourselves as a stealth

1775
01:03:17,164 --> 01:03:18,669
coffee shop flying below the

1776
01:03:18,669 --> 01:03:19,537
federal radar.

1777
01:03:19,537 --> 01:03:20,941
We have our medium over on

1778
01:03:20,941 --> 01:03:21,777
our second page.

1779
01:03:21,777 --> 01:03:23,280
We just keep out one medium at a

1780
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:24,785
time, just usually mediumand

1781
01:03:24,785 --> 01:03:25,452
high-grade.

1782
01:03:25,452 --> 01:03:26,622
We got all our prices right here

1783
01:03:26,622 --> 01:03:27,759
next to the weights so you kind

1784
01:03:27,759 --> 01:03:28,795
of know what you're working with.

1785
01:03:29,095 --> 01:03:30,332
We keep out three high-grades at

1786
01:03:30,332 --> 01:03:30,733
a time.

1787
01:03:30,733 --> 01:03:31,935
You can always feel free to take
them out.

1788
01:03:32,404 --> 01:03:33,473
You can smell them, squeeze

1789
01:03:33,473 --> 01:03:34,676
them -whatever helps you make

1790
01:03:34,676 --> 01:03:36,515
a decision.

1791
01:03:50,184 --> 01:03:52,456
Let me ask you -you going

1792
01:03:52,456 --> 01:03:54,260
to smoke a spliff, ma'am?

1793
01:03:54,260 --> 01:03:55,095
Yeah.

1794
01:03:55,095 --> 01:03:56,232
All right.

1795
01:03:56,232 --> 01:03:58,305
Do we have any marijuana smokers

1796
01:03:58,305 --> 01:03:59,909
here in the park today?

1797
01:03:59,909 --> 01:04:01,312
[Scattered cheers]

1798
01:04:01,312 --> 01:04:03,183
Any law-enforcement officers

1799
01:04:03,183 --> 01:04:04,754
here in the park today?

1800
01:04:04,754 --> 01:04:05,556
[Laughter]

1801
01:04:05,556 --> 01:04:07,026
I asked those in the wrong order.

1802
01:04:07,562 --> 01:04:12,675
[Laughter]

1803
01:04:12,809 --> 01:04:13,879
I'm a gardener and

1804
01:04:13,879 --> 01:04:15,282
landscaper, so I like to help

1805
01:04:15,282 --> 01:04:16,685
aids and cancer patients grow

1806
01:04:16,685 --> 01:04:18,155
their own medicine to keep the

1807
01:04:18,155 --> 01:04:19,259
price down and to just

1808
01:04:19,259 --> 01:04:21,163
decentralize the whole economy.

1809
01:04:21,163 --> 01:04:22,467
Oaksterdam was basically a

1810
01:04:22,467 --> 01:04:23,871
private joke that a few aids

1811
01:04:23,871 --> 01:04:25,408
patients used to chuckle about

1812
01:04:25,408 --> 01:04:26,846
when the first marijuana club

1813
01:04:26,846 --> 01:04:28,248
came here, and most of those

1814
01:04:28,248 --> 01:04:29,318
people are now dead.

1815
01:04:29,318 --> 01:04:31,825
Most of the original patients

1816
01:04:31,825 --> 01:04:37,205
from Oaksterdam have died.

1817
01:04:37,205 --> 01:04:41,249
It's called indole-3 acid.

1818
01:04:41,249 --> 01:04:42,653
It's basically -it's a hormone.

1819
01:04:43,322 --> 01:04:44,993
What it does -it softens up

1820
01:04:44,993 --> 01:04:46,798
the plant tissue, and it sort of

1821
01:04:46,798 --> 01:04:48,568
sterilizes it at the same time.

1822
01:04:48,568 --> 01:04:52,713
And...what'll happen is after a

1823
01:04:52,713 --> 01:04:55,353
few days, the tissue's soft, and

1824
01:04:55,353 --> 01:04:57,626
little roots will push out.

1825
01:04:57,626 --> 01:05:00,099
And it becomes its own little plant.

1826
01:05:00,867 --> 01:05:03,239
These were taken on the 15th.

1827
01:05:03,239 --> 01:05:05,579
Today's the 22nd, so in seven

1828
01:05:05,579 --> 01:05:07,818
days, we have created life.

1829
01:05:07,818 --> 01:05:09,322
So, you see the difference

1830
01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:10,994
between Indica over there and

1831
01:05:10,994 --> 01:05:11,829
Sativa here?

1832
01:05:11,829 --> 01:05:12,932
This one's Indica?

1833
01:05:12,932 --> 01:05:13,533
Right.

1834
01:05:13,533 --> 01:05:15,004
It's these short, squat, big,

1835
01:05:15,004 --> 01:05:15,673
fat leaves.

1836
01:05:15,673 --> 01:05:19,783
This tall, more branchy, thinner leaf.

1837
01:05:20,317 --> 01:05:21,989
This is actually a hybrid.

1838
01:05:21,989 --> 01:05:23,392
It's not pure Sativa.

1839
01:05:23,392 --> 01:05:25,364
If it was pure Sativa, it would

1840
01:05:25,364 --> 01:05:27,135
be even thinner and lankier.

1841
01:05:27,135 --> 01:05:28,672
The worst movie to see when

1842
01:05:28,672 --> 01:05:30,310
you're high, the worst one ever,

1843
01:05:30,310 --> 01:05:31,815
I think, is a motion picture

1844
01:05:31,815 --> 01:05:34,020
called "Super High Me."

1845
01:05:34,020 --> 01:05:35,256
What the fuck?

1846
01:05:35,256 --> 01:05:37,495
I just fucked up my own joke.

1847
01:05:37,495 --> 01:05:38,833
"Super Size Me."

1848
01:05:38,833 --> 01:05:41,139
Forget -ladies and gentlemen

1849
01:05:41,139 --> 01:05:42,374
of the jury...

1850
01:05:42,374 --> 01:05:44,313
[cheers and applause]

1851
01:05:44,313 --> 01:05:51,833
[Speaking indistinctly]

1852
01:05:52,802 --> 01:05:53,972
That's why I'm voting for Shaw

1853
01:05:54,339 --> 01:05:57,313
[Both laugh]

1854
01:05:57,313 --> 01:05:58,818
Marijuana peace means a lot of
things.

1855
01:05:59,318 --> 01:06:00,890
This is Dennis Peron, founder of

1856
01:06:00,890 --> 01:06:02,227
the Medical Marijuana Club

1857
01:06:02,227 --> 01:06:10,047
movement and many, many things.

1858
01:06:10,047 --> 01:06:14,424
Hi!

1859
01:06:14,559 --> 01:06:15,929
April 14, 1994 -I'll never

1860
01:06:15,929 --> 01:06:17,399
forget this day 'cause the day

1861
01:06:17,399 --> 01:06:18,937
before, you called us all up and

1862
01:06:18,937 --> 01:06:20,440
said, "we're gonna get arrested

1863
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:21,043
tomorrow."

1864
01:06:21,043 --> 01:06:22,345
The chief of police had

1865
01:06:22,345 --> 01:06:23,850
called me that day, said he was

1866
01:06:23,850 --> 01:06:25,287
going in, busting us.

1867
01:06:25,287 --> 01:06:26,958
I said, "look, chief, you can

1868
01:06:26,958 --> 01:06:28,595
come in, you can bust us, but

1869
01:06:28,595 --> 01:06:30,032
you remember Stonewall?

1870
01:06:30,032 --> 01:06:31,502
These people are gonna fight back.

1871
01:06:32,037 --> 01:06:33,742
They're not just gonna lay down."

1872
01:06:34,344 --> 01:06:36,215
In the end, we knew we'd win.

1873
01:06:36,215 --> 01:06:38,087
And it's a good thing that we

1874
01:06:38,087 --> 01:06:39,657
wrote it for the people

1875
01:06:39,657 --> 01:06:41,462
because -it's got a lot of

1876
01:06:41,462 --> 01:06:42,932
holes in it, they say.

1877
01:06:42,932 --> 01:06:44,670
They say it's very loosely worded.

1878
01:06:45,339 --> 01:06:46,475
Pioneer law.

1879
01:06:46,475 --> 01:06:48,446
You know, they say, "almost

1880
01:06:48,446 --> 01:06:50,286
anybody can get it with this law.

1881
01:06:50,819 --> 01:06:52,156
Don't vote for it."

1882
01:06:52,156 --> 01:06:54,128
It was done in the name of my

1883
01:06:54,128 --> 01:06:56,100
dead friend, my dead brothers

1884
01:06:56,100 --> 01:06:58,239
and sisters who died of aids out

1885
01:06:58,239 --> 01:07:00,044
of all that pain, all that

1886
01:07:00,044 --> 01:07:01,949
sorrow, something good would
happen.

1887
01:07:02,650 --> 01:07:04,689
It had to be the sum of their

1888
01:07:04,689 --> 01:07:09,970
life that the world changed.

1889
01:07:09,970 --> 01:07:11,406
A lot of comedians work

1890
01:07:11,406 --> 01:07:13,078
really hard on their jokes, but

1891
01:07:13,078 --> 01:07:14,381
what I've been doing...

1892
01:07:14,381 --> 01:07:19,059
[laughter]

1893
01:07:19,059 --> 01:07:22,001
...is smoking a lot of pot.

1894
01:07:22,001 --> 01:07:24,574
I've been high probably about 22

1895
01:07:24,574 --> 01:07:28,050
hours -no, more like 18 hours a day.

1896
01:07:28,451 --> 01:07:29,720
I probably get sober during the

1897
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:30,957
middle of the night for a few hours.

1898
01:07:31,592 --> 01:07:33,530
And it's probably gonna prove nothing.

1899
01:07:34,299 --> 01:07:35,268
[Laughter]

1900
01:07:35,268 --> 01:07:36,238
[Laughs]

1901
01:07:36,238 --> 01:07:38,043
And weird laughs in the audience.

1902
01:07:38,944 --> 01:07:42,354
[Stiffly] ha ha!

1903
01:07:42,354 --> 01:07:45,127
Ha ha!

1904
01:07:45,127 --> 01:07:47,534
Ahh!

1905
01:07:47,534 --> 01:07:50,508
This guy is living in a cartoon world.

1906
01:07:51,410 --> 01:07:54,785
He's got a cartoon apartment.

1907
01:07:54,785 --> 01:07:55,654
[Bell dings]

1908
01:07:55,654 --> 01:07:57,960
Ha ha!

1909
01:08:08,221 --> 01:08:10,226
Muir Woods, north of

1910
01:08:10,226 --> 01:08:12,899
San Francisco, home of the

1911
01:08:12,899 --> 01:08:14,605
mighty Redwood.

1912
01:08:14,605 --> 01:08:17,612
Let's enjoy it together, shall we?

1913
01:08:29,843 --> 01:08:31,347
They really took the treat out

1914
01:08:31,347 --> 01:08:32,517
of Rice Krispie treat.

1915
01:08:32,517 --> 01:08:33,921
This thing tastes horrible.

1916
01:08:33,921 --> 01:08:39,235
How's it going?

1917
01:08:39,235 --> 01:08:42,977
Express yourself, Doug.

1918
01:08:42,977 --> 01:08:44,649
Fuck this first amendment area.

1919
01:08:45,985 --> 01:08:49,361
[Laughter]

1920
01:08:49,361 --> 01:08:52,201
I know this guy who has a dog

1921
01:08:52,201 --> 01:08:53,738
that can talk.

1922
01:08:53,738 --> 01:08:55,811
You can ask the dog --

1923
01:08:55,811 --> 01:08:58,751
you can ask -this is serious.

1924
01:08:58,751 --> 01:09:01,192
You can ask the dog anything you

1925
01:09:01,192 --> 01:09:03,531
want, and then it'll answer it

1926
01:09:03,531 --> 01:09:06,205
talking-style.

1927
01:09:06,205 --> 01:09:10,650
So, I go -I go -I go,

1928
01:09:10,650 --> 01:09:11,818
"what's the thing on top of a house?"

1929
01:09:12,220 --> 01:09:14,761
And the dog goes, "roof!"

1930
01:09:14,761 --> 01:09:17,266
"Okay, who's the greatest

1931
01:09:17,266 --> 01:09:20,141
baseball player of all time?"

1932
01:09:20,141 --> 01:09:22,748
And the dog goes, "Ruth!"

1933
01:09:22,748 --> 01:09:25,689
I'm like, "okay, that's good.

1934
01:09:25,689 --> 01:09:28,897
Name a tourist attraction in the

1935
01:09:28,897 --> 01:09:31,069
San Francisco area."

1936
01:09:31,069 --> 01:09:33,509
"Wharf!"

1937
01:09:33,509 --> 01:09:34,912
And then I'm like, "be more
specific."

1938
01:09:35,581 --> 01:09:39,257
"Fisherman's Wharf."

1939
01:09:39,257 --> 01:09:43,434
[Laughter]

1940
01:09:43,434 --> 01:09:45,707
[Bell dings]

1941
01:10:02,451 --> 01:10:05,124
This is day 23 of a project that

1942
01:10:05,124 --> 01:10:06,996
I'm working on called

1943
01:10:06,996 --> 01:10:08,534
"Super High Me."

1944
01:10:08,534 --> 01:10:11,106
I am smoking pot all day, every

1945
01:10:11,106 --> 01:10:13,647
day for 30 days, starting from

1946
01:10:13,647 --> 01:10:16,320
when I wake up in the morning to

1947
01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:18,560
when I go to bed at night.

1948
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:21,734
And it has been awesome.

1949
01:10:21,734 --> 01:10:23,606
[Laughter]

1950
01:10:23,606 --> 01:10:25,376
I think -you know what.

1951
01:10:25,376 --> 01:10:27,048
I think the month that you

1952
01:10:27,048 --> 01:10:29,086
weren't stoned, I think you have

1953
01:10:29,086 --> 01:10:30,925
a pot gland in your body now,

1954
01:10:30,925 --> 01:10:32,797
and it just releases pot when

1955
01:10:32,797 --> 01:10:33,900
you go without.

1956
01:10:33,900 --> 01:10:35,737
It's like a camel hump, and you

1957
01:10:35,737 --> 01:10:36,640
don't see it.

1958
01:10:36,640 --> 01:10:38,512
And so, the whole fucking movie,

1959
01:10:38,512 --> 01:10:39,748
you're just stoned.

1960
01:10:39,748 --> 01:10:41,620
It's just "Super High Me" for 60

1961
01:10:41,620 --> 01:10:42,555
goddamn days.

1962
01:10:42,555 --> 01:10:44,393
But you're not -what it is is

1963
01:10:44,393 --> 01:10:46,097
"I'm gonna spend a month not

1964
01:10:46,097 --> 01:10:46,933
smoking it.

1965
01:10:46,933 --> 01:10:48,704
I'm just gonna get it from my

1966
01:10:48,704 --> 01:10:50,442
gland in my neck where I keep

1967
01:10:50,442 --> 01:10:51,913
extra pot in case of an

1968
01:10:51,913 --> 01:10:52,782
Apocalypse."

1969
01:10:52,782 --> 01:10:54,754
How great would it be if the

1970
01:10:54,754 --> 01:10:56,625
last scene in the movie is it

1971
01:10:56,625 --> 01:10:58,129
bursts out of my head?

1972
01:10:58,129 --> 01:10:59,064
[Laughter]

1973
01:10:59,064 --> 01:11:00,401
And it looks like

1974
01:11:00,401 --> 01:11:01,337
Tommy Chong.

1975
01:11:01,337 --> 01:11:02,841
[Laughter]

1976
01:11:02,841 --> 01:11:03,843
You grow another -if

1977
01:11:03,843 --> 01:11:04,713
Tommy Chong dies --

1978
01:11:04,713 --> 01:11:06,016
[imitating Tommy Chong] I

1979
01:11:06,016 --> 01:11:07,053
was in your head, man.

1980
01:11:07,053 --> 01:11:08,924
[Laughter]

1981
01:11:08,924 --> 01:11:11,563
What the fuck, man?

1982
01:11:11,563 --> 01:11:14,071
You don't got enough room for a

1983
01:11:14,071 --> 01:11:15,976
dude in your head, man.

1984
01:11:15,976 --> 01:11:18,414
That was fucking cramped, man.

1985
01:11:18,414 --> 01:11:19,584
[Laughter]

1986
01:11:19,584 --> 01:11:21,255
You got any weed?

1987
01:11:21,389 --> 01:11:23,461
Do you have any plans to make

1988
01:11:23,461 --> 01:11:25,467
that leap to having a doctor

1989
01:11:25,467 --> 01:11:27,505
give you the thing so you can

1990
01:11:27,505 --> 01:11:29,577
just go into dispensaries and

1991
01:11:29,577 --> 01:11:31,750
buy amazing weed?

1992
01:11:31,883 --> 01:11:33,588
Then my name's on some list somewhere.

1993
01:11:34,724 --> 01:11:36,261
That's true.

1994
01:11:36,261 --> 01:11:36,997
Right?

1995
01:11:36,997 --> 01:11:38,768
That's what people think.

1996
01:11:38,768 --> 01:11:40,673
We haven't been able to really

1997
01:11:40,673 --> 01:11:41,642
track down --

1998
01:11:41,642 --> 01:11:43,446
I don't know if there is a

1999
01:11:43,446 --> 01:11:45,418
list that exists, but up here it

2000
01:11:45,418 --> 01:11:47,090
seems like there would be.

2001
01:11:47,090 --> 01:11:49,062
But, you know, wouldn't they

2002
01:11:49,062 --> 01:11:51,067
just pencil your name in if they

2003
01:11:51,067 --> 01:11:52,805
ever see you anywhere doing

2004
01:11:52,805 --> 01:11:53,573
anything?

2005
01:11:53,573 --> 01:11:54,274
Yeah.

2006
01:11:54,274 --> 01:11:56,480
[Laughs]

2007
01:11:56,480 --> 01:11:58,385
You're pretty open about it.

2008
01:11:58,385 --> 01:12:00,091
I don't have a ton of

2009
01:12:00,091 --> 01:12:02,228
material about it, but I did say

2010
01:12:02,228 --> 01:12:04,101
I smoked pot on "Conan," so

2011
01:12:04,101 --> 01:12:06,239
that's probably not the smartest thing.

2012
01:12:09,614 --> 01:12:11,452
People watch that, right?

2013
01:12:11,452 --> 01:12:13,424
Feds love Conan.

2014
01:12:25,823 --> 01:12:27,628
Let me ask you this -how do

2015
01:12:27,628 --> 01:12:30,836
you feel about marijuana in a pill?

2016
01:12:31,504 --> 01:12:33,944
What's this, like Cocoa Krispies

2017
01:12:33,944 --> 01:12:40,930
that are full of weed?

2018
01:12:40,930 --> 01:12:43,203
Cucumber, boat, wire.

2019
01:12:43,203 --> 01:12:44,405
I still got it.

2020
01:12:44,405 --> 01:12:46,311
We're gonna do that mini

2021
01:12:46,311 --> 01:12:48,548
mental status thing, but what's,

2022
01:12:48,548 --> 01:12:49,518
you know --

2023
01:12:49,518 --> 01:12:51,256
Cucumber, boat, wire?

2024
01:12:51,256 --> 01:12:52,259
Oh, no, this time it's

2025
01:12:52,259 --> 01:12:53,094
completely different.

2026
01:12:53,094 --> 01:12:53,729
Okay, good.

2027
01:12:53,729 --> 01:12:55,066
See, I knew you'd review the

2028
01:12:55,066 --> 01:12:56,402
tape, so basically I changed it

2029
01:12:56,402 --> 01:12:57,404
all completely around.

2030
01:12:57,404 --> 01:12:58,742
I didn't have to look at the
tape.

2031
01:12:59,110 --> 01:13:00,146
I've been obsessed with

2032
01:13:00,146 --> 01:13:01,482
"cucumber, boat, wire" since it happened.

2033
01:13:02,017 --> 01:13:02,685
Excellent.

2034
01:13:02,685 --> 01:13:03,889
'Cause nobody remembers.

2035
01:13:03,889 --> 01:13:05,193
But if it's still three words,

2036
01:13:05,193 --> 01:13:06,562
I'm gonna be aware enough to be

2037
01:13:06,562 --> 01:13:07,933
able to get it right even though

2038
01:13:07,933 --> 01:13:10,306
I'm medicated, so to speak.

2039
01:13:10,306 --> 01:13:12,010
Yes, you are med

2040
01:13:12,010 --> 01:13:13,347
[laughing] um...

2041
01:13:13,347 --> 01:13:15,152
[baby talking] yes, you

2042
01:13:15,152 --> 01:13:16,789
are, you little medicated
patient.

2043
01:13:17,524 --> 01:13:19,562
You sound more medicated than

2044
01:13:19,562 --> 01:13:20,832
you did last time.

2045
01:13:20,832 --> 01:13:22,436
This is a questionnaire about

2046
01:13:22,436 --> 01:13:23,840
pot that I devised for this

2047
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,444
movie to just ask random people,

2048
01:13:25,444 --> 01:13:26,982
seeing how much they know about

2049
01:13:26,982 --> 01:13:28,485
pot and the situation with pot

2050
01:13:28,485 --> 01:13:29,423
in America today.

2051
01:13:29,423 --> 01:13:30,090
Here we go.

2052
01:13:30,090 --> 01:13:32,596
East bay, first question --

2053
01:13:32,596 --> 01:13:35,171
what percentage of Americans smoke pot?

2054
01:13:36,341 --> 01:13:37,276
80%.

2055
01:13:37,276 --> 01:13:39,916
Excellent guess. It's 99%.

2056
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:42,656
[Laughter]

2057
01:13:42,656 --> 01:13:44,160
Very close, though.

2058
01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:45,530
Do you smoke pot?

2059
01:13:45,530 --> 01:13:46,834
Not recently.

2060
01:13:46,834 --> 01:13:47,970
Yes.

2061
01:13:47,970 --> 01:13:49,340
About four or five times a year.

2062
01:13:49,741 --> 01:13:51,178
No.t depends on, like,

2063
01:13:51,178 --> 01:13:52,483
when you're talking about...

2064
01:13:52,483 --> 01:13:53,651
Yeah, right. That is a yes.

2065
01:13:53,651 --> 01:13:54,186
No.

2066
01:13:54,186 --> 01:13:55,223
Occasionally.

2067
01:13:55,223 --> 01:13:56,258
Occasionally.

2068
01:13:56,258 --> 01:13:56,760
No.

2069
01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:57,963
Yes, I do.

2070
01:13:57,963 --> 01:13:59,666
Do you smoke pot?

2071
01:13:59,666 --> 01:14:01,004
Yes.

2072
01:14:01,004 --> 01:14:02,574
Welcome to the majority.

2073
01:14:02,574 --> 01:14:04,112
[Laughter]

2074
01:14:04,112 --> 01:14:08,089
Okay, three words -cab,

2075
01:14:08,089 --> 01:14:10,462
avocado, brick.

2076
01:14:10,462 --> 01:14:11,999
Cab, avocado, brick.

2077
01:14:11,999 --> 01:14:12,902
Perfect.

2078
01:14:12,902 --> 01:14:14,540
Now, count back from 100,

2079
01:14:14,540 --> 01:14:15,809
subtracting seven.

2080
01:14:15,809 --> 01:14:17,747
So, start with 100 and tell me

2081
01:14:17,747 --> 01:14:18,516
what's --

2082
01:14:18,516 --> 01:14:19,251
93...

2083
01:14:19,251 --> 01:14:20,087
Uh-huh.

2084
01:14:20,087 --> 01:14:20,822
Come on.

2085
01:14:20,822 --> 01:14:21,858
[Laughs]

2086
01:14:21,858 --> 01:14:23,329
93...

2087
01:14:23,329 --> 01:14:25,835
82...

2088
01:14:25,835 --> 01:14:26,437
Okay.

2089
01:14:26,437 --> 01:14:30,714
Uh...73.

2090
01:14:30,714 --> 01:14:31,450
Mm-hmm.

2091
01:14:31,450 --> 01:14:32,487
Is that right?

2092
01:14:32,487 --> 01:14:33,422
Keep going.

2093
01:14:33,422 --> 01:14:34,090
Jesus.

2094
01:14:34,090 --> 01:14:38,335
Uh...73 -64.

2095
01:14:38,335 --> 01:14:39,203
Mm-hmm.

2096
01:14:39,203 --> 01:14:40,773
Do you think pot is addictive?

2097
01:14:41,675 --> 01:14:42,345
Yes.

2098
01:14:42,345 --> 01:14:43,948
Well, you're wrong.

2099
01:14:43,948 --> 01:14:46,054
I quit smoking pot for 30 days,

2100
01:14:46,054 --> 01:14:48,093
and now I'm smoking pot again.

2101
01:14:48,093 --> 01:14:49,062
[Laughter]

2102
01:14:49,062 --> 01:14:50,299
So you're wrong.

2103
01:14:50,299 --> 01:14:52,237
Do I seem high to you right now?

2104
01:14:52,237 --> 01:14:53,440
Maybe a little.

2105
01:14:53,440 --> 01:14:54,877
Well, you're wrong.

2106
01:14:54,877 --> 01:14:56,549
I'm totally high right now.

2107
01:14:56,549 --> 01:15:01,395
[Laughter]

2108
01:15:01,395 --> 01:15:03,165
Um, at what -this is an

2109
01:15:03,165 --> 01:15:04,670
important one at this

2110
01:15:04,670 --> 01:15:06,741
juncture -at what age do you

2111
01:15:06,741 --> 01:15:08,613
think it's okay for kids to

2112
01:15:08,613 --> 01:15:10,016
start getting high?

2113
01:15:10,016 --> 01:15:10,986
Uh, 18?

2114
01:15:10,986 --> 01:15:12,389
Maybe like 16.

2115
01:15:12,389 --> 01:15:13,058
7.

2116
01:15:13,058 --> 01:15:13,759
14.

2117
01:15:13,759 --> 01:15:14,261
18.

2118
01:15:14,261 --> 01:15:14,761
18.

2119
01:15:14,761 --> 01:15:16,199
As soon as you can use a lighter.

2120
01:15:16,801 --> 01:15:17,302
18.

2121
01:15:17,302 --> 01:15:17,803
18?

2122
01:15:17,803 --> 01:15:18,305
30.

2123
01:15:18,305 --> 01:15:20,176
I think they need to talk to

2124
01:15:20,176 --> 01:15:21,447
their parents first.

2125
01:15:21,447 --> 01:15:22,550
27, actually.

2126
01:15:22,550 --> 01:15:23,418
[Laughter]

2127
01:15:23,418 --> 01:15:25,257
27.

2128
01:15:25,257 --> 01:15:26,593
Okay, what are those three

2129
01:15:26,593 --> 01:15:27,795
words that we talked about
before?

2130
01:15:28,264 --> 01:15:30,671
Uh, cab, avocado, brick.

2131
01:15:30,671 --> 01:15:31,806
You scored!

2132
01:15:31,806 --> 01:15:33,811
Excellent. All right.

2133
01:15:33,811 --> 01:15:37,288
You got 24 this time, and last

2134
01:15:37,288 --> 01:15:39,861
time you got 27.

2135
01:15:39,861 --> 01:15:42,602
So, over 22 is still normal, but

2136
01:15:42,602 --> 01:15:44,940
you barely got it.

2137
01:15:51,290 --> 01:15:53,563
"Cab, avocado, brick" -you

2138
01:15:53,563 --> 01:15:55,769
were just waiting for that.

2139
01:15:55,769 --> 01:15:57,941
Actually, it's interesting.

2140
01:15:57,941 --> 01:16:00,146
Your mathematical functions

2141
01:16:00,146 --> 01:16:03,356
completely are gone.

2142
01:16:03,356 --> 01:16:04,992
The serial sevens -you kind of

2143
01:16:04,992 --> 01:16:06,363
completely got yourself --

2144
01:16:06,363 --> 01:16:07,366
Serial sevens?

2145
01:16:07,366 --> 01:16:08,803
See, that's what I did is I

2146
01:16:08,803 --> 01:16:10,206
switched it to serial nines

2147
01:16:10,206 --> 01:16:11,510
partway for some reason.

2148
01:16:11,510 --> 01:16:13,147
What's the chemical name for the

2149
01:16:13,147 --> 01:16:14,918
active ingredient in pot?

2150
01:16:14,918 --> 01:16:16,623
Tetrahydrocannibinol.

2151
01:16:16,623 --> 01:16:18,461
No, it's an apple.

2152
01:16:18,461 --> 01:16:21,168
[Laughter]

2153
01:16:21,168 --> 01:16:22,905
What's -oh, wait, that's the

2154
01:16:22,905 --> 01:16:24,276
answer to the next one.

2155
01:16:24,276 --> 01:16:25,312
[Laughter]

2156
01:16:25,312 --> 01:16:27,418
What's the best fruit to turn

2157
01:16:27,418 --> 01:16:28,454
into a pipe?

2158
01:16:28,454 --> 01:16:30,894
[Laughter]

2159
01:16:30,894 --> 01:16:31,797
An apple.

2160
01:16:31,797 --> 01:16:33,032
An apple, yeah.

2161
01:16:33,032 --> 01:16:36,340
Apple, yes.

2162
01:16:36,340 --> 01:16:37,845
What do you charge for an eighth?

2163
01:16:38,447 --> 01:16:40,117
The good stuff or the bad stuff?

2164
01:16:40,686 --> 01:16:41,488
Got you!

2165
01:16:41,488 --> 01:16:43,192
[Laughter]

2166
01:16:43,192 --> 01:16:47,571
Say hello to Officer Benson.

2167
01:16:47,571 --> 01:16:49,174
Have you ever been high at work?

2168
01:16:49,174 --> 01:16:50,344
If so, what do you do?

2169
01:16:50,344 --> 01:16:51,112
If not?

2170
01:16:51,112 --> 01:16:53,385
[Laughter]

2171
01:16:53,385 --> 01:16:54,321
I don't remember.

2172
01:16:54,321 --> 01:16:55,991
You can take the fifth -or

2173
01:16:55,991 --> 01:16:56,928
take an eighth.

2174
01:16:56,928 --> 01:16:59,768
How many Presidents...
boom.

2175
01:17:00,537 --> 01:17:02,776
You know, in terms of

2176
01:17:02,776 --> 01:17:05,583
physical harm, at this stage of

2177
01:17:05,583 --> 01:17:07,823
the game -zippo.

2178
01:17:23,831 --> 01:17:25,903
Do you feel, though, living like

2179
01:17:25,903 --> 01:17:27,340
this is sustainable?

2180
01:17:27,340 --> 01:17:28,978
In other words, for your
career --

2181
01:17:29,746 --> 01:17:31,852
I think I could get away with

2182
01:17:31,852 --> 01:17:33,590
it, but I don't intend to.

2183
01:17:33,590 --> 01:17:34,158
Why?

2184
01:17:34,158 --> 01:17:35,929
Because, you know, I thought

2185
01:17:35,929 --> 01:17:37,566
I'd be sick of smoking pot at

2186
01:17:37,566 --> 01:17:38,971
the end of this 30 days.

2187
01:17:38,971 --> 01:17:40,239
It turns out I'm not.

2188
01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:41,242
It's been great.

2189
01:17:41,242 --> 01:17:43,314
But I've been having people

2190
01:17:43,314 --> 01:17:44,785
drive me around everywhere.

2191
01:17:44,785 --> 01:17:45,989
You're all free to go.

2192
01:17:45,989 --> 01:17:47,459
However, remember, if you left a

2193
01:17:47,459 --> 01:17:48,830
green-tag item at the base of

2194
01:17:48,830 --> 01:17:50,199
the stairs, please wait for it

2195
01:17:50,199 --> 01:17:51,670
here or in the jet bridge on the

2196
01:17:51,670 --> 01:17:53,108
right-hand side without causing

2197
01:17:53,108 --> 01:17:53,843
a traffic jam.

2198
01:17:53,843 --> 01:17:55,613
Have a great afternoon.

2199
01:17:55,613 --> 01:17:57,518
Cock.

2200
01:17:57,518 --> 01:17:59,891
My name is Doug Benson, and I am

2201
01:17:59,891 --> 01:18:02,297
super high.

2202
01:18:02,297 --> 01:18:05,807
[Low note plays]

2203
01:18:05,807 --> 01:18:09,082
[Laughter]

2204
01:18:09,082 --> 01:18:11,320
California's the Medical

2205
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:13,861
Marijuana State, so I got my
license.

2206
01:18:14,863 --> 01:18:17,705
I got a fucking license to smoke
pot.

2207
01:18:18,406 --> 01:18:21,013
I didn't have to do a test or anything.

2208
01:18:22,149 --> 01:18:24,823
I just had to go, "it hurts me

2209
01:18:24,823 --> 01:18:26,160
in my back."

2210
01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:27,529
"Here you go.

2211
01:18:27,529 --> 01:18:30,003
I'm a doctor. Here you go."

2212
01:18:30,003 --> 01:18:32,008
And I'm like, "$200."

2213
01:18:32,008 --> 01:18:34,682
And now I have a license that

2214
01:18:34,682 --> 01:18:36,687
says I can smoke pot.

2215
01:18:36,687 --> 01:18:39,360
No one here has that.

2216
01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:41,968
Not in Idaho.

2217
01:18:41,968 --> 01:18:43,337
But you should.

2218
01:18:43,337 --> 01:18:45,076
[Laughter]

2219
01:18:45,076 --> 01:18:48,151
'Cause this place is awesome.

2220
01:18:48,151 --> 01:18:51,259
Most -bless you.

2221
01:18:51,259 --> 01:18:53,264
You guys are allergic to the
truth.

2222
01:18:53,932 --> 01:18:57,007
[Laughter]

2223
01:18:57,007 --> 01:18:58,912
And I'm standing on my own jacket.

2224
01:19:00,983 --> 01:19:02,120
I'm scared.

2225
01:19:02,120 --> 01:19:04,760
It's scary to be in a state that

2226
01:19:04,760 --> 01:19:06,463
isn't cool with it.

2227
01:19:06,463 --> 01:19:09,004
I mean, not that -California,

2228
01:19:09,004 --> 01:19:12,981
it's legal on the state level,

2229
01:19:12,981 --> 01:19:14,853
but on the federal level, it's

2230
01:19:14,853 --> 01:19:15,889
still illegal.

2231
01:19:15,889 --> 01:19:17,593
So a fed could sweep in and

2232
01:19:17,593 --> 01:19:21,704
fucking be like, "nuh-unh."

2233
01:19:21,704 --> 01:19:23,675
Pharmacy is being raided

2234
01:19:23,675 --> 01:19:25,680
right now as of about three

2235
01:19:25,680 --> 01:19:26,717
minutes ago.

2236
01:19:26,717 --> 01:19:28,321
Call me back.

2237
01:19:28,321 --> 01:19:30,059
Ultimately it comes down to

2238
01:19:30,059 --> 01:19:31,931
the federal government to decide

2239
01:19:31,931 --> 01:19:34,069
what is and is not legal.

2240
01:19:34,204 --> 01:19:35,807
Marijuana is illegal in any

2241
01:19:35,807 --> 01:19:37,077
form under federal law.

2242
01:19:37,077 --> 01:19:38,748
Federal drug agents raided 11

2243
01:19:38,748 --> 01:19:40,387
medical marijuana outlets today

2244
01:19:40,387 --> 01:19:41,289
in L.A. County.

2245
01:19:41,289 --> 01:19:42,759
D.E.A. Agents swooped down on

2246
01:19:42,759 --> 01:19:44,029
L.A. clinics because federal

2247
01:19:44,029 --> 01:19:45,299
authorities don't recognize

2248
01:19:45,299 --> 01:19:46,602
California's law that allows

2249
01:19:46,602 --> 01:19:48,373
medical use of marijuana.

2250
01:19:48,507 --> 01:19:51,013
Yesterday D.E.A. Agents

2251
01:19:51,013 --> 01:19:52,785
provided search warrants and

2252
01:19:52,785 --> 01:19:54,723
went into 11 facilities here in

2253
01:19:54,723 --> 01:19:55,625
Los Angeles.

2254
01:19:55,625 --> 01:19:56,861
Yeah, they blocked off the

2255
01:19:56,861 --> 01:19:58,066
road, and people are getting off.

2256
01:19:58,366 --> 01:19:59,201
I'm gonna get out.

2257
01:19:59,201 --> 01:20:03,546
Let's go.

2258
01:20:03,546 --> 01:20:05,217
They took all of the

2259
01:20:05,217 --> 01:20:07,255
medication and patient records

2260
01:20:07,255 --> 01:20:09,228
in all of these facilities.

2261
01:20:09,228 --> 01:20:11,099
The climate of fear is very real.

2262
01:20:11,700 --> 01:20:13,138
# Oh, I said please don't

2263
01:20:13,138 --> 01:20:14,308
tear me down #

2264
01:20:14,308 --> 01:20:16,279
# I'm just now standing up #

2265
01:20:16,279 --> 01:20:17,783
# made some big mistakes #

2266
01:20:17,783 --> 01:20:19,955
# I want to get fucked up just

2267
01:20:19,955 --> 01:20:22,294
like I used to do with my daddy

2268
01:20:22,294 --> 01:20:23,598
president #

2269
01:20:23,598 --> 01:20:24,768
# I will break all the rules #

2270
01:20:24,768 --> 01:20:26,906
# oh, I will have no regrets #

2271
01:20:26,906 --> 01:20:28,778
# 'cause I am president now #

2272
01:20:28,778 --> 01:20:30,784
# who would believe that a dumb

2273
01:20:30,784 --> 01:20:33,457
good old boy could ever achieve it? #

2274
01:20:33,958 --> 01:20:35,695
# politics and fame #

2275
01:20:35,695 --> 01:20:38,002
# fame and disaster #

2276
01:20:38,002 --> 01:20:39,373
# let's go to work #

2277
01:20:39,373 --> 01:20:41,077
# I'll show you the master #

2278
01:20:41,077 --> 01:20:43,616
# I know these puppet strings

2279
01:20:43,616 --> 01:20:48,463
are hard to break #

2280
01:20:48,463 --> 01:20:50,267
I'm waiting for a sheriff who

2281
01:20:50,267 --> 01:20:51,671
needs medical marijuana.

2282
01:20:51,671 --> 01:20:53,342
I'm not gonna say it won't

2283
01:20:53,342 --> 01:20:57,487
happen 'cause...if it's needed,

2284
01:20:57,487 --> 01:20:58,255
it's needed.

2285
01:20:58,255 --> 01:20:59,792
Yeah, if it's needed, it's needed.

2286
01:21:00,327 --> 01:21:01,897
That's why I keep fighting.

2287
01:21:01,897 --> 01:21:02,533
Hey.

2288
01:21:02,533 --> 01:21:04,338
Do you believe in what you're doing?

2289
01:21:07,145 --> 01:21:07,846
Okay.

2290
01:21:07,846 --> 01:21:09,049
[Crowd chants "take action now"]

2291
01:21:11,289 --> 01:21:12,759
So, we are not supportive of

2292
01:21:12,759 --> 01:21:13,728
this action today.

2293
01:21:13,728 --> 01:21:14,998
The city of west Hollywood

2294
01:21:14,998 --> 01:21:16,402
believes that we have a handle

2295
01:21:16,402 --> 01:21:17,405
on these facilities.

2296
01:21:17,405 --> 01:21:18,774
We have regulations in place.

2297
01:21:18,774 --> 01:21:19,777
We work closely with the

2298
01:21:19,777 --> 01:21:21,014
Sheriff's Department to ensure

2299
01:21:21,014 --> 01:21:22,083
that they operate with the

2300
01:21:22,083 --> 01:21:23,085
intent and the spirit of

2301
01:21:23,085 --> 01:21:24,957
Proposition 215.

2302
01:21:25,091 --> 01:21:26,127
The federal government has the right.

2303
01:21:26,461 --> 01:21:27,197
We can't stop them.

2304
01:21:27,197 --> 01:21:28,032
We don't have the legal authority.

2305
01:21:29,903 --> 01:21:37,857
[Crowd boos]

2306
01:21:37,857 --> 01:21:39,261
D.E.A., go away!

2307
01:21:39,261 --> 01:21:42,570
# I didn't know god made such

2308
01:21:42,570 --> 01:21:44,275
big assholes,

2309
01:21:44,275 --> 01:21:46,179
assholes as you #

2310
01:21:46,179 --> 01:21:47,817
# when we get through, I

2311
01:21:47,817 --> 01:21:50,090
realized the asshole inside of

2312
01:21:50,090 --> 01:21:51,393
me, too #

2313
01:21:51,393 --> 01:21:53,298
# inside of me, too #

2314
01:21:53,298 --> 01:21:57,308
# if you truly soon became one #

2315
01:21:57,308 --> 01:21:59,814
# but one inside one is still two #

2316
01:22:01,118 --> 01:22:04,994
# yes, one inside one is still two #

2317
01:22:50,781 --> 01:22:54,758
[siren wailing]

2318
01:22:54,758 --> 01:22:56,630
[Crowd chants "D.E.A., go away!"]

2319
01:23:06,756 --> 01:23:08,058
These people are powered by

2320
01:23:08,058 --> 01:23:08,594
the state.

2321
01:23:08,594 --> 01:23:09,864
The state law is being broken

2322
01:23:09,864 --> 01:23:11,200
here by the federal agents right now.

2323
01:23:11,534 --> 01:23:14,777
These guys should be enforcing California

2324
01:23:14,777 --> 01:23:17,049
[siren wailing]

2325
01:23:17,049 --> 01:23:18,887
They're not shutting us all

2326
01:23:18,887 --> 01:23:20,859
down, and we will reopen because

2327
01:23:20,859 --> 01:23:22,831
in California, the biggest trees

2328
01:23:22,831 --> 01:23:24,635
in the world grow from little seeds.

2329
01:23:25,170 --> 01:23:26,473
I'm just a little seed.

2330
01:23:26,473 --> 01:23:27,944
All these people that were

2331
01:23:27,944 --> 01:23:29,515
behind us earlier are little seeds.

2332
01:23:30,048 --> 01:23:31,687
This movement will not be shot down.

2333
01:23:32,154 --> 01:23:33,792
You know, I've been a patient

2334
01:23:33,792 --> 01:23:35,531
for almost 11 or 12 years when I

2335
01:23:35,531 --> 01:23:37,001
crawled up those stairs in

2336
01:23:37,001 --> 01:23:38,471
San Francisco and ran into

2337
01:23:38,471 --> 01:23:40,009
Dennis Peron, who opened that

2338
01:23:40,009 --> 01:23:40,744
first club.

2339
01:23:40,744 --> 01:23:42,114
And he said, "Richard, I'm

2340
01:23:42,114 --> 01:23:43,785
sending a guy to Los Angeles who

2341
01:23:43,785 --> 01:23:44,654
can help you."

2342
01:23:44,654 --> 01:23:46,425
I didn't know what I was getting

2343
01:23:46,425 --> 01:23:48,030
myself into, but I'm a proud

2344
01:23:48,030 --> 01:23:49,633
American patriot, and I will

2345
01:23:49,633 --> 01:23:51,270
continue fighting for medical marijuana.

2346
01:23:54,680 --> 01:23:56,150
[Bell dings]

2347
01:24:04,005 --> 01:24:07,780
So, it's 4:20 on day 30 on.

2348
01:24:07,780 --> 01:24:10,320
Doug Benson, it's over.

2349
01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:12,560
Oh, it's just starting.

2350
01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:13,763
[Laughter]

2351
01:24:13,763 --> 01:24:15,668
Well, you know how going into

2352
01:24:15,668 --> 01:24:17,740
this thing I thought that by day

2353
01:24:17,740 --> 01:24:19,812
30 I would be so sick of pot and

2354
01:24:19,812 --> 01:24:21,817
being high and just be dying to

2355
01:24:21,817 --> 01:24:23,889
be done with it, at least take a

2356
01:24:23,889 --> 01:24:25,794
break for a little while, you know?

2357
01:24:26,362 --> 01:24:29,037
But I'm sitting here. It's 4:20.

2358
01:24:29,037 --> 01:24:31,142
And, uh...I'm about to light

2359
01:24:31,142 --> 01:24:32,512
joint number two.

2360
01:24:32,512 --> 01:24:33,547
Medicate.

2361
01:24:33,547 --> 01:24:35,620
Yeah, you don't have to now.

2362
01:24:35,620 --> 01:24:37,792
You're off the clock.

2363
01:24:37,792 --> 01:24:38,427
So...

2364
01:24:38,427 --> 01:24:40,398
I totally don't have to.

2365
01:24:40,398 --> 01:24:42,403
It's a personal choice now.

2366
01:24:42,403 --> 01:24:46,882
Um...

2367
01:24:46,882 --> 01:24:49,189
roll some more joints.

2368
01:24:49,189 --> 01:24:51,995
You guys are here on day 30.

2369
01:24:51,995 --> 01:24:54,135
This is day 30 of getting high

2370
01:24:54,135 --> 01:24:56,073
all day, every day from the

2371
01:24:56,073 --> 01:24:58,278
second I wake up in the morning

2372
01:24:58,278 --> 01:25:00,350
until I go to sleep at night.

2373
01:25:00,350 --> 01:25:02,055
And I got to wake and bake.

2374
01:25:02,055 --> 01:25:03,391
That's how I start.

2375
01:25:03,391 --> 01:25:05,231
And then I don't have a rhyme

2376
01:25:05,231 --> 01:25:07,102
for the end of the day, but...

2377
01:25:07,102 --> 01:25:08,004
[laughter]

2378
01:25:08,004 --> 01:25:09,741
[Speaking indistinctly]

2379
01:25:09,741 --> 01:25:10,945
What's that?

2380
01:25:10,945 --> 01:25:13,084
Is the program intervention?

2381
01:25:13,084 --> 01:25:15,257
Is the program intervention?

2382
01:25:15,257 --> 01:25:17,027
[Laughter]

2383
01:25:17,027 --> 01:25:19,133
Now, are we playing Jeopardy or

2384
01:25:19,133 --> 01:25:20,135
something...

2385
01:25:20,135 --> 01:25:21,138
[laughter]

2386
01:25:21,138 --> 01:25:23,076
...where the question is the answer?

2387
01:25:23,778 --> 01:25:25,817
[Laughter]

2388
01:25:25,817 --> 01:25:27,221
'Cause that was worded really strangely.

2389
01:25:31,999 --> 01:25:34,439
I haven't -it would have been

2390
01:25:34,439 --> 01:25:36,846
cool if I had an intervention, ma'am.

2391
01:25:37,581 --> 01:25:39,185
I guess you could try to do one

2392
01:25:39,185 --> 01:25:40,755
now, but this is the last day.

2393
01:25:40,755 --> 01:25:43,028
[Laughter]

2394
01:25:43,028 --> 01:25:46,070
Kind of fucked-up timing.

2395
01:25:46,070 --> 01:25:47,506
"Stop what you're doing."

2396
01:25:47,506 --> 01:25:48,910
That's like if the guy in

2397
01:25:48,910 --> 01:25:50,615
"Super Size Me" was like, on day

2398
01:25:50,615 --> 01:25:51,818
30, "I can't do it."

2399
01:25:51,818 --> 01:25:53,221
[Laughter]

2400
01:25:53,221 --> 01:25:55,761
Well, you already did a lot of damage.

2401
01:25:56,630 --> 01:25:59,304
So, this is day 30, and I got to

2402
01:25:59,304 --> 01:26:03,315
say, honestly, it's a fantastic

2403
01:26:03,315 --> 01:26:05,185
way to live.

2404
01:26:05,185 --> 01:26:06,890
I recommend you all become

2405
01:26:06,890 --> 01:26:08,828
stand-up comics who don't have

2406
01:26:08,828 --> 01:26:10,867
anything really that you have to

2407
01:26:10,867 --> 01:26:12,906
do during the day, and at night,

2408
01:26:12,906 --> 01:26:14,743
you can get away with acting

2409
01:26:14,743 --> 01:26:16,715
like a buffoon in front of nice

2410
01:26:16,715 --> 01:26:18,253
people who just want an

2411
01:26:18,253 --> 01:26:23,901
old-fashioned intervention.

2412
01:26:23,901 --> 01:26:25,272
And finally, do you think sick

2413
01:26:25,272 --> 01:26:26,708
people who feel better when they

2414
01:26:26,708 --> 01:26:28,079
smoke pot should be able to do

2415
01:26:28,079 --> 01:26:29,450
so in the privacy of their own

2416
01:26:29,450 --> 01:26:30,852
homes while not operating heavy

2417
01:26:30,852 --> 01:26:32,256
machinery and possibly watching

2418
01:26:32,256 --> 01:26:33,625
a "project runway" marathon on Bravo?

2419
01:26:35,431 --> 01:26:36,266
Yes.

2420
01:26:36,266 --> 01:26:38,071
Yes! Joe is right.

2421
01:26:38,071 --> 01:26:39,441
Thank you, Joe.

2422
01:26:39,441 --> 01:26:41,179
You're awesome, man.

2423
01:26:41,179 --> 01:26:42,716
Everybody, you've been great.

2424
01:26:42,716 --> 01:26:44,287
Thank you very much for coming out.

2425
01:26:44,688 --> 01:26:45,958
I hope to see you again.

2426
01:26:45,958 --> 01:26:47,295
Bye-bye.

2427
01:26:47,295 --> 01:26:50,603
[Cheers and applause]

2428
01:26:50,603 --> 01:26:51,774
Keep it going for

2429
01:26:51,774 --> 01:26:54,247
Doug Benson, everyone!

2430
01:26:54,247 --> 01:26:56,552
[Cheers and applause continue]

2431
01:27:04,740 --> 01:27:06,946
# I smoke every weed, man #

2432
01:27:06,946 --> 01:27:08,216
# I plant that big old seed, son #

2433
01:27:08,751 --> 01:27:10,221
# I smoke every strain there is

2434
01:27:10,221 --> 01:27:11,992
in town #

2435
01:27:11,992 --> 01:27:13,629
# from the super-sticky green to

2436
01:27:13,629 --> 01:27:15,702
to the hitting mix of brown #

2437
01:27:15,702 --> 01:27:17,173
# I smoke every strain there is
around #

2438
01:27:20,415 --> 01:27:22,220
# I'll smoke it till I'm dead

2439
01:27:22,220 --> 01:27:23,323
'cause it feels good in my
head #

2440
01:27:23,957 --> 01:27:25,661
# I smoked a lot in western
Caroline #

2441
01:27:27,366 --> 01:27:29,404
# I swear that orange crush, so

2442
01:27:29,404 --> 01:27:30,875
sweet it'll make you blush #

2443
01:27:30,875 --> 01:27:32,279
# you're feeling good with your

2444
01:27:32,279 --> 01:27:34,751
illegal smile #

2445
01:27:34,751 --> 01:27:36,222
# I smoke every weed, man #

2446
01:27:36,222 --> 01:27:37,893
# I plant that big old seed,
son #

2447
01:27:38,327 --> 01:27:39,831
# I smoke every strain there is
in town #

2448
01:27:41,702 --> 01:27:43,274
# from the super-sticky green to
the brown #

2449
01:27:45,045 --> 01:27:46,917
# I smoke every strain there is
around #

2450
01:27:50,058 --> 01:27:52,331
# when I visit the pharmacy and

2451
01:27:52,331 --> 01:27:54,035
I see my good friend mike, I

2452
01:27:54,035 --> 01:27:55,205
say, "oh, boy, I got 40

2453
01:27:55,205 --> 01:27:57,477
different strains" #

2454
01:27:57,477 --> 01:27:58,981
# and I smoked them all #

2455
01:27:58,981 --> 01:28:00,953
# volcano to the brain #

2456
01:28:00,953 --> 01:28:02,924
# I think I can remember all the
names #

2457
01:28:04,195 --> 01:28:05,432
# got the bubble kush, bubble

2458
01:28:05,432 --> 01:28:06,635
gum, blueberry, Saturday,

2459
01:28:06,635 --> 01:28:07,804
Alaskan thunderfuck #

2460
01:28:07,804 --> 01:28:11,113
# AK-47 and the O.G. Kush #

2461
01:28:11,113 --> 01:28:12,316
# you got the purple and the

2462
01:28:12,316 --> 01:28:13,519
herbal granddaddy, mothership,

2463
01:28:13,519 --> 01:28:15,291
and the orange crush #

2464
01:28:15,291 --> 01:28:17,930
# G-13 and little balls of
hash #

2465
01:28:18,331 --> 01:28:19,801
# got the bubble kush, bubble

2466
01:28:19,801 --> 01:28:21,172
gum, blueberry, Alaskan
thunderfuck #

2467
01:28:22,209 --> 01:28:25,417
# AK-47 and the O.G. Kush #

2468
01:28:25,417 --> 01:28:26,687
# you got the purple and the

2469
01:28:26,687 --> 01:28:27,757
herbal granddaddy, mothership,

2470
01:28:27,757 --> 01:28:29,628
and the orange crush #

2471
01:28:29,628 --> 01:28:32,200
# G-13 and little balls of
hash #

2472
01:28:33,203 --> 01:28:35,410
# I smoke every weed, man #

2473
01:28:35,410 --> 01:28:36,680
# I plant that big old seed,
son #

2474
01:28:37,214 --> 01:28:38,685
# I smoke every strain there is
in town #

2475
01:28:40,456 --> 01:28:42,093
# from the super-sticky green to

2476
01:28:42,093 --> 01:28:44,131
to the brown #

2477
01:28:44,131 --> 01:28:45,602
# I smoke every strain there is
around #

2478
01:28:48,944 --> 01:28:50,783
# some people call it dope #

2479
01:28:50,783 --> 01:28:52,219
# some think it smells like

2480
01:28:52,219 --> 01:28:52,854
burning rope #

2481
01:28:52,854 --> 01:28:54,793
# I tell you it relieves my

2482
01:28:54,793 --> 01:28:58,235
mind just to know we're a

2483
01:28:58,235 --> 01:29:00,040
compassionate state #

2484
01:29:00,040 --> 01:29:01,143
# I think it's time to
medicate #

2485
01:29:03,449 --> 01:29:04,485
# with the bubble kush, bubble

2486
01:29:04,485 --> 01:29:05,756
gum, blueberry, Alaskan
thunderfuck #

2487
01:29:07,526 --> 01:29:10,702
# AK-47 and the O.G. Kush #

2488
01:29:10,702 --> 01:29:11,971
# you got the purple and the

2489
01:29:11,971 --> 01:29:13,040
herbal granddaddy, mothership,

2490
01:29:13,040 --> 01:29:14,911
and the orange crush #

2491
01:29:14,911 --> 01:29:17,485
# G-13 and little balls of
hash #

2492
01:29:18,287 --> 01:29:20,493
# I smoke every weed, man #

2493
01:29:20,493 --> 01:29:21,763
# I plant that big old seed,
son #

2494
01:29:22,298 --> 01:29:23,768
# I smoke every strain there is
in town #

2495
01:29:25,540 --> 01:29:27,177
# from the super-sticky green to

2496
01:29:27,177 --> 01:29:29,216
to the brown #

2497
01:29:29,216 --> 01:29:30,720
# I smoke every strain there is
around #

2498
01:29:32,357 --> 01:29:33,994
# from the super-sticky green to

2499
01:29:33,994 --> 01:29:36,033
to the brown #

2500
01:29:36,033 --> 01:29:37,504
# I smoke every strain there is
around #

2501
01:29:39,743 --> 01:29:41,548
# I smoke every strain there is
around #

2502
01:29:43,052 --> 01:29:45,123
# I smoke every strain there is
around #

2503
01:29:46,995 --> 01:29:49,007
# I smoke every strain there is
around #