0 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000 1 00:00:36,807 --> 00:00:38,570 There. That's better. 2 00:00:43,247 --> 00:00:44,475 All clean. 3 00:00:51,455 --> 00:00:54,822 He sees you when you're sleepin' He knows when you're awake 4 00:00:54,892 --> 00:00:56,257 What are you doing here? 5 00:00:56,327 --> 00:00:59,990 - And what are you talking about? - I'm talkin' about Santa Claus! 6 00:01:00,064 --> 00:01:03,431 Only 159 days left till Christmas, so you better be good. 7 00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,334 I'd better be good? How 'bout this? You better be scarce. Now go on. 8 00:01:07,404 --> 00:01:09,235 I don't care about Christmas. 9 00:01:14,912 --> 00:01:17,506 Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way 10 00:01:17,581 --> 00:01:19,572 - Donkey! - 51 days left till Christmas. 11 00:01:19,650 --> 00:01:22,118 Get your butt in gear and get your marshmallows, 12 00:01:22,186 --> 00:01:25,417 because without marshmallows, sweet potatoes are nothin'! 13 00:01:25,489 --> 00:01:29,789 Enough! I don't care about any of this nonsense. 14 00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:30,952 Now shoo! 15 00:01:31,028 --> 00:01:33,258 OK. But don't say I didn't say I told you so. 16 00:01:38,669 --> 00:01:41,502 Smashing through the snow And laughin' all the way 17 00:01:41,572 --> 00:01:45,235 It's finally here. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! Got everything ready? 18 00:01:45,309 --> 00:01:47,209 - No. - You haven't trimmed stockings 19 00:01:47,277 --> 00:01:49,541 or hung your chestnuts or roasted the tree? 20 00:01:49,613 --> 00:01:51,581 - Or figgified your puddin'? - Donkey! 21 00:01:51,648 --> 00:01:53,445 Will you get it through your head? 22 00:01:53,517 --> 00:01:56,918 No one here gives a hoot about Christmas! 23 00:01:56,987 --> 00:01:59,922 A white Christmas! How perfect. 24 00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:03,619 And it's our first one together as a family. Isn't this exciting? 25 00:02:03,694 --> 00:02:06,288 Oh, yeah! How 'bout that? 26 00:02:06,363 --> 00:02:08,354 There's somethin' Shrek needs to... 27 00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,730 Don't ruin the surprise for her, Donkey. 28 00:02:10,801 --> 00:02:13,736 Surprise? Oh, I love surprises! 29 00:02:13,804 --> 00:02:17,069 You're the best. Come on, let's go make some cookies. 30 00:02:18,575 --> 00:02:20,907 OK, you a dead man. You know that? 31 00:02:20,978 --> 00:02:22,969 Hold that thought. I'll be right back. 32 00:02:45,335 --> 00:02:47,326 OH, good, you're still open. 33 00:02:47,404 --> 00:02:50,339 No, we're closing now. Merry Christmas. 34 00:02:50,407 --> 00:02:53,638 Wait, wait, wait! I need your help. I have to make a Christmas, 35 00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:56,338 and I have no idea what it is or how to do it! 36 00:02:56,413 --> 00:02:58,506 Why didn't you say so? That's super. 37 00:02:58,582 --> 00:03:01,244 I know all about Christmas, and I've just the book. 38 00:03:01,318 --> 00:03:04,446 Christmas for Village Idiots. It's all spelled out. See? 39 00:03:04,521 --> 00:03:07,115 One, decorate house. Two, the stockings by the fireplace. 40 00:03:07,191 --> 00:03:09,659 Step three, the Christmas feast. 41 00:03:09,726 --> 00:03:12,160 - What's that? - Step four? The Christmas tree! 42 00:03:12,229 --> 00:03:14,094 The tree goes inside the house? 43 00:03:15,566 --> 00:03:18,626 Anyway, step five, the telling of the Christmas story. 44 00:03:18,702 --> 00:03:21,899 This is the step that says I created the perfect Christmas 45 00:03:21,972 --> 00:03:24,770 for my perfect family perfectly. Family by the fire, 46 00:03:24,842 --> 00:03:27,367 everyone cozy and warm. Happy, happy. Voila! 47 00:03:27,444 --> 00:03:29,241 - Sure. - Long story short, 48 00:03:29,313 --> 00:03:31,304 it's all right here. It's no problem. 49 00:03:31,381 --> 00:03:33,349 - Perfect. - I mean, how hard can it be? 50 00:03:33,417 --> 00:03:37,285 - I didn't get the eggnog! - Closed?! What do you mean? 51 00:03:37,354 --> 00:03:39,652 - Dwight the Knight action figure? - Marshmallows! 52 00:03:39,723 --> 00:03:42,453 Sweet potatoes are nothing without marshmallows! 53 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:44,585 Bye-bye. Have a super Christmas. 54 00:03:52,369 --> 00:03:54,837 Honey, is that you? 55 00:03:55,806 --> 00:03:59,264 Fiona! What are you doing up so early? 56 00:04:00,210 --> 00:04:03,043 - Are you OK? - I'm all right. 57 00:04:03,113 --> 00:04:07,447 What are you? Are you decorating? 58 00:04:08,118 --> 00:04:11,212 - Yeah, that. Surprised? - Yes. 59 00:04:11,288 --> 00:04:14,621 Well, this is our first Christmas together as a family, 60 00:04:14,691 --> 00:04:17,956 and, you know, I just want to make sure that it's perfect. 61 00:04:18,028 --> 00:04:21,225 Shrek, I think... it's beautiful. 62 00:04:21,298 --> 00:04:23,198 - It's passable. - It's horrible! 63 00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:25,633 - Donkey! - They usually toilet paper and run. 64 00:04:25,702 --> 00:04:28,466 Whoever did this means business! Get rid of all this 65 00:04:28,539 --> 00:04:30,564 and get tinsel and doilies and ribbons 66 00:04:30,641 --> 00:04:32,199 and some plastic reindeer. 67 00:04:32,276 --> 00:04:34,267 What is it you wanted today? 68 00:04:34,344 --> 00:04:37,472 It's Christmas Eve! I've brought you a little somethin'. 69 00:04:37,548 --> 00:04:40,483 Go ahead, take a couple. I bought plenty for everybody! 70 00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:43,247 Oh, isn't that... nice. 71 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:47,757 Well, thanks for stopping by for that brief visit, but as you can see, 72 00:04:47,824 --> 00:04:49,587 there's a lot of work to do. 73 00:04:49,660 --> 00:04:51,685 Just like him to wait till last minute. 74 00:04:51,762 --> 00:04:54,560 Don't worry, there's one thing I know, it's Christmas. 75 00:04:54,631 --> 00:04:57,600 He's gonna want help, advice, and he's definitely... 76 00:04:57,668 --> 00:05:02,662 Actually, I think what he really wants is a nice family Christmas. 77 00:05:02,739 --> 00:05:06,175 Oh, a family Christmas. 78 00:05:06,243 --> 00:05:08,302 Yeah. It's the first one with the kids. 79 00:05:08,378 --> 00:05:10,812 Don't say a word. I know exactly what you mean. 80 00:05:10,881 --> 00:05:13,349 I got a lot to do now, so I better get movin'. 81 00:05:13,417 --> 00:05:15,817 Thank you, Donkey! And Merry Christmas! 82 00:05:15,886 --> 00:05:17,444 All right. Merry Christmas! 83 00:05:17,521 --> 00:05:21,252 Love and joy come to you and to me some waffles too 84 00:05:22,926 --> 00:05:25,622 Donkey's right. It's Christmas Eve. 85 00:05:25,696 --> 00:05:28,324 How am I ever gonna get this done in time? 86 00:05:28,398 --> 00:05:30,764 This is gonna be the best Christmas ever. 87 00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:33,200 And we're going to do it together, so come on. 88 00:05:57,527 --> 00:06:00,519 Everything looks so good! 89 00:06:00,597 --> 00:06:02,189 Nice job, honey. 90 00:06:02,265 --> 00:06:04,597 Well, we all did it together. 91 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:08,399 Now what would the perfect Christmas be without a Christmas story? 92 00:06:09,806 --> 00:06:14,106 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house 93 00:06:14,177 --> 00:06:17,578 Not a creature was stirring... What? 94 00:06:17,648 --> 00:06:20,276 - Merry Christmas, Shrek! - Oh, not you! 95 00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:22,477 We're here to smother you with Christmas love! 96 00:06:22,552 --> 00:06:25,248 Absolutely not! Bad Donkey! Go home! 97 00:06:25,322 --> 00:06:27,688 How are you gonna have Christmas without family? 98 00:06:27,758 --> 00:06:29,692 - Seasons greeting! - Happy Holidays! 99 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:31,694 - Merry Christmas! - A nice surprise! 100 00:06:31,762 --> 00:06:33,195 Oh, yeah. 101 00:06:36,299 --> 00:06:39,860 OK, I will assume the position. 102 00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:47,440 - I am the joy-filled swine! - Yay, for the season of love! 103 00:06:47,511 --> 00:06:50,912 This is for stockings. You can't be hanging laundry up! 104 00:06:50,981 --> 00:06:53,108 Donkey! Don't touch anything. 105 00:06:53,884 --> 00:06:56,819 How we gonna roast chestnuts on this little bitty fire? 106 00:06:56,887 --> 00:06:57,979 Hey, baby, you mind? 107 00:07:02,259 --> 00:07:04,955 - Oh, boy! - This way, gents. 108 00:07:05,629 --> 00:07:06,926 That was our supper! 109 00:07:08,465 --> 00:07:09,762 Hey! 110 00:07:11,902 --> 00:07:15,065 Did you hurt yourself when you fell out of heaven? 111 00:07:15,138 --> 00:07:17,572 - Where are we going to put it? - I don't know. 112 00:07:17,641 --> 00:07:20,769 Let's put it over here. No, that is not with the feng shui. 113 00:07:20,844 --> 00:07:22,709 Come on, everybody, let's dance! 114 00:07:34,157 --> 00:07:38,958 - Occupied! - It's me. Shrek? 115 00:07:39,029 --> 00:07:42,897 - Yes? - Come back to the party. Please? 116 00:07:42,966 --> 00:07:45,059 I don't think that'd be such a good idea. 117 00:07:45,135 --> 00:07:48,798 Come on. It's not that bad. 118 00:07:48,872 --> 00:07:51,739 OK, I know you're not a party person, but... 119 00:07:51,808 --> 00:07:55,209 But what? This is not the kind of Christmas I had in mind. 120 00:07:55,278 --> 00:07:58,714 They're our friends, Shrek. They all mean well. 121 00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:01,774 - How many babies did Fiona have? - She has babies? 122 00:08:01,852 --> 00:08:04,286 - I don't know. - I better get back to the house. 123 00:08:04,354 --> 00:08:06,379 Surprised we have a house to go back to. 124 00:08:06,456 --> 00:08:09,914 - Are you coming? - I can hardly wait. 125 00:08:09,993 --> 00:08:11,824 Finally! 126 00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:21,398 Look at him go! 127 00:08:21,471 --> 00:08:23,371 Excuse me! Excuse me! 128 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,169 Excuse you for what? 129 00:08:25,242 --> 00:08:28,234 I don't feel very good. 130 00:08:28,311 --> 00:08:32,714 - I feel better now. - A chocolate chip! 131 00:08:32,783 --> 00:08:33,909 Sweetheart? 132 00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:40,289 Mind if I cut in? 133 00:08:40,357 --> 00:08:44,123 Don't stop believing 134 00:08:45,562 --> 00:08:48,463 Up and down the boulevard 135 00:08:51,268 --> 00:08:53,532 I am a little Christmas angel! 136 00:08:53,603 --> 00:08:55,571 Hey there, my sweeties. 137 00:08:57,908 --> 00:09:01,366 Would you like Daddy to finish the story for you? 138 00:09:01,444 --> 00:09:02,706 Yeah? 139 00:09:02,779 --> 00:09:05,577 The children were nestled all snug in their beds, 140 00:09:05,649 --> 00:09:09,050 - while visions of sugarplums... - Were you tellin' 'em 141 00:09:09,119 --> 00:09:12,088 The Night Before Christmas? That's the best Christmas story ever! 142 00:09:12,155 --> 00:09:14,146 - I'm the best teller ever! - Donkey... 143 00:09:14,224 --> 00:09:15,782 I got it committed to memorization! 144 00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,827 - Gather round! - Donkey! Wait! 145 00:09:17,894 --> 00:09:20,328 I'm supposed to tell the Christmas story. 146 00:09:20,397 --> 00:09:23,389 'Twas the night before Christmas and I spent all the day 147 00:09:23,466 --> 00:09:26,333 Finishin' up on my Christmas display 148 00:09:26,403 --> 00:09:28,997 Now, missin' all this would be nothin' but tragic 149 00:09:29,072 --> 00:09:31,836 So just follow me and I'll show you the magic 150 00:09:31,908 --> 00:09:34,069 Now, out in the yard in a glorious clutter 151 00:09:34,144 --> 00:09:36,977 Is a spectacle there that'll make your heart flutter 152 00:09:37,047 --> 00:09:39,641 With 20-foot cheese balls and a big eggnog fountain 153 00:09:39,716 --> 00:09:42,742 And yodelin' elves on an ambrosia mountain 154 00:09:42,819 --> 00:09:45,344 A stage where acrobats jump, leap and prance 155 00:09:45,422 --> 00:09:48,516 And honor the day through interpretive dance 156 00:09:49,392 --> 00:09:51,758 But just when you think the display is complete 157 00:09:51,828 --> 00:09:54,422 The Christmas parade comes right down the street 158 00:09:54,497 --> 00:09:56,931 With holiday floats all in silver and blue 159 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,026 With sugarplum fairies and a reindeer or two 160 00:10:00,103 --> 00:10:02,833 There's a baton-twirlin' snowman all happy and perky 161 00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:05,807 Magical peacocks and a dancin' roast turkey 162 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,644 And right when you think that you've just seen it all 163 00:10:12,716 --> 00:10:16,550 Comes a huge waffle Santa that's 50 feet tall 164 00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:19,111 Ho, ho, ho! 165 00:10:19,189 --> 00:10:22,022 With syrup and butter the sight just amazes 166 00:10:22,092 --> 00:10:24,890 As it's flanked by a choir all singin' his praises 167 00:10:33,069 --> 00:10:35,629 - Donkey. - Santa? 168 00:10:35,705 --> 00:10:36,967 - Donkey! - Santa! 169 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,974 Donkey! 170 00:10:39,042 --> 00:10:42,239 Very inappropriate, amigo. Please, allow me. 171 00:10:42,312 --> 00:10:44,780 - Oh, Puss, not you too. - In my homeland, 172 00:10:44,848 --> 00:10:47,817 we tell a very different tale of the Santa Nicholas. 173 00:10:47,884 --> 00:10:50,216 He's not made of waffles. 174 00:10:50,287 --> 00:10:53,484 This Santa was suave He was nothing like that 175 00:10:53,556 --> 00:10:57,788 The Santa I know was a hot Latin cat 176 00:10:57,861 --> 00:11:01,854 He was dressed all in fur from his head to his paws 177 00:11:01,932 --> 00:11:07,461 And he stood there heroic A real Santa... Claws 178 00:11:07,537 --> 00:11:10,097 Red are his boots 179 00:11:10,173 --> 00:11:13,006 - And so is his cape - Ol�! 180 00:11:13,076 --> 00:11:17,069 His sword is a cane that tastes like crab cake 181 00:11:17,147 --> 00:11:19,672 He wears a fine belt and a leather cravat 182 00:11:19,749 --> 00:11:24,243 And there's a cute fuzzy thing which hangs down from his hat 183 00:11:34,931 --> 00:11:37,525 I have shamed myself. 184 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,830 - Ol�! - All right, everybody, 185 00:11:39,903 --> 00:11:42,770 if you leave now, you can beat the holiday traffic. 186 00:11:42,839 --> 00:11:45,808 Phooey with all your sunshine and lollipops! 187 00:11:45,875 --> 00:11:49,311 Where I come from, Christmas is a nightmare. 188 00:11:51,748 --> 00:11:55,081 'Twas the night before Christmas and the prettiest sights 189 00:11:55,151 --> 00:11:59,281 Were my sweetheart beside me in the bright Christmas lights 190 00:11:59,356 --> 00:12:01,051 ...until they got home. 191 00:12:01,124 --> 00:12:05,618 When they looked at the car door handle, and they found a hook! 192 00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:10,322 Gingy, cut it out! You're really givin' me the creeps! 193 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,301 Oh, come on, I was just teasin'. 194 00:12:13,370 --> 00:12:16,237 Come here, you. 195 00:12:16,306 --> 00:12:18,399 Gingy, I couldn't stay mad at you. 196 00:12:18,475 --> 00:12:20,136 What was that? 197 00:12:20,210 --> 00:12:22,974 Oh, no, you don't. I'm not fallin' for that again. 198 00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:26,072 No, I'm really, really seriously not kidding. 199 00:12:28,818 --> 00:12:29,807 Gingy! 200 00:12:36,259 --> 00:12:39,023 Suzie! 201 00:12:39,929 --> 00:12:42,625 No! No! No! 202 00:12:42,699 --> 00:12:45,224 That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 203 00:12:45,301 --> 00:12:47,667 - That's not how it goes. - You weren't there! 204 00:12:47,737 --> 00:12:51,036 All right, everyone, I've had just about enough! 205 00:12:51,107 --> 00:12:55,373 All I wanted was a nice Christmas with my family. 206 00:12:55,445 --> 00:12:59,677 That's exactly why we're all here! Come on, let's finish tellin' my story. 207 00:12:59,749 --> 00:13:04,345 No, Donkey, that's not what I meant. And get out of my chair. 208 00:13:05,555 --> 00:13:08,319 - Hey, what's this? - Donkey, let go of the book. 209 00:13:08,391 --> 00:13:12,452 - Why are you whisperin'? - I'm not kiddin'. Give me the book! 210 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,492 - Heimlich! - Ja? 211 00:13:18,568 --> 00:13:20,365 - No, Heimlich! - Oh, ja! 212 00:13:27,243 --> 00:13:28,301 My eye! 213 00:13:38,154 --> 00:13:39,678 Stop, drop and roll, Shrek! 214 00:13:39,756 --> 00:13:41,883 - Somebody get some water! - I got it! 215 00:13:41,958 --> 00:13:44,756 Don't worry, Shrek, everything is under control! 216 00:13:44,828 --> 00:13:46,455 Oh, boy. 217 00:13:49,466 --> 00:13:51,866 - The tea is ready. - Out! 218 00:13:51,935 --> 00:13:56,031 I want everybody out of my house right now! 219 00:13:59,642 --> 00:14:03,339 Well, that's a real nice way to treat your guests on Christmas! 220 00:14:03,413 --> 00:14:08,476 And if you think I'm gonna give you a present now, you are sadly mistaken! 221 00:14:08,551 --> 00:14:11,076 You want to give me a present? Then go away! 222 00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:14,123 - That's all I wanted! - Fine! I'm going! 223 00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:15,555 Good, then go! 224 00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:19,391 You go and have yourself a merry Christmas. 225 00:14:19,462 --> 00:14:23,091 - Ebenezer Shrek! - And a "Bah, humbug" to you too! 226 00:14:27,604 --> 00:14:30,732 - We could come to our house. - We have plenty of schnitzel. 227 00:14:30,807 --> 00:14:33,037 Now maybe we can... 228 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:37,943 Fiona? Where you going? 229 00:14:38,014 --> 00:14:41,609 Shrek, you just kicked everybody out on Christmas. 230 00:14:41,684 --> 00:14:44,152 Well, that wasn't Christmas. That was chaos! 231 00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:47,155 Look, I know it didn't go like you wanted. 232 00:14:47,223 --> 00:14:51,125 What I wanted was a perfect Christmas for me and my family. 233 00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,822 - That was our family. - You call that a family? 234 00:14:53,897 --> 00:14:56,092 That was a natural disaster! 235 00:14:56,166 --> 00:14:59,101 On Christmas, that's how it works. Yes, it was crowded. 236 00:14:59,169 --> 00:15:01,228 Yes, it got a little out of hand. 237 00:15:01,304 --> 00:15:04,671 - Fiona, they lit me on fire! - Shrek... 238 00:15:04,741 --> 00:15:09,405 I had everything under control until they showed up and ruined my Christmas! 239 00:15:09,479 --> 00:15:12,778 - Your Christmas? - I mean our Christmas. 240 00:15:12,849 --> 00:15:15,443 For you, and the babies. 241 00:15:15,518 --> 00:15:20,546 Christmas is not just about you or me. Or even the babies. 242 00:15:22,058 --> 00:15:23,855 You just don't get it. 243 00:15:23,927 --> 00:15:29,194 I have to go. I need to apologize to our friends. 244 00:15:29,265 --> 00:15:31,324 Fiona, wait. 245 00:16:19,649 --> 00:16:22,675 I don't understand why Shrek had to be so mean and cranky. 246 00:16:22,752 --> 00:16:24,583 We were tryin' to do what you wanted! 247 00:16:24,654 --> 00:16:27,555 - What're you talking about? - What you said this morning. 248 00:16:27,624 --> 00:16:30,593 You and Shrek wanted to have a big, noisy family Christmas. 249 00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:33,390 I said it was our first Christmas together as a family. 250 00:16:33,463 --> 00:16:35,624 Right. That's me and everybody else. 251 00:16:35,698 --> 00:16:37,529 Then he lost his temper like that. 252 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,933 You know, Donkey, none of us really asked Shrek what he wanted. 253 00:16:41,004 --> 00:16:45,031 I must agree with the Princess. And you, were no Christmas angel. 254 00:16:45,108 --> 00:16:48,043 - I don't remember askin' you anything! - Donkey. 255 00:16:48,111 --> 00:16:51,012 I'm sorry, Princess. You're right. 256 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,548 - Still, Shrek didn't have to be so... - What? 257 00:16:54,651 --> 00:16:57,415 Pigheaded? Stubborn? Mean? 258 00:16:57,487 --> 00:17:02,515 Well, maybe I am all those things, but I'm an ogre, OK? 259 00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:05,390 So here's the thing. 260 00:17:05,461 --> 00:17:09,192 I'm sorry you took getting kicked out of my house the wrong way. 261 00:17:09,265 --> 00:17:13,099 No, wait. What I meant to say is 262 00:17:13,169 --> 00:17:17,196 I know you're just trying to be helpful in your irritating fashion... 263 00:17:17,273 --> 00:17:21,539 - Ay, caramba! - Some people can't help being annoying. 264 00:17:21,611 --> 00:17:24,739 - Shrek! - Look, 265 00:17:24,814 --> 00:17:26,975 I shouldn't have lost my temper. 266 00:17:27,050 --> 00:17:29,780 - Apology accepted. Let's eat. - Wait a minute. 267 00:17:29,852 --> 00:17:33,015 There's somethin' more to this. Come on, what's goin' on? 268 00:17:33,089 --> 00:17:37,753 Look, all I wanted was to make this perfect for my family, 269 00:17:37,827 --> 00:17:41,991 but I don't even know what Christmas means. 270 00:17:42,065 --> 00:17:45,398 The thing is, this is my first Christmas too. 271 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,895 Hold up, Shrek! You mean that you never had... 272 00:17:49,972 --> 00:17:51,064 - No. - Not even one? 273 00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:52,698 - No! - You mean no chestnuts, 274 00:17:52,775 --> 00:17:54,743 no Santa, no presents, no stockings? 275 00:17:54,811 --> 00:17:57,075 - No nut cakes?! - Donkey! 276 00:17:57,146 --> 00:18:00,513 No, none of that. 277 00:18:00,583 --> 00:18:04,019 Ogres don't celebrate Christmas. 278 00:18:04,087 --> 00:18:07,250 Ogres don't celebrate anything. 279 00:18:10,026 --> 00:18:12,790 Oh, man, now I'm all emotional. 280 00:18:12,862 --> 00:18:15,956 - Come here, gimme a hug! - All right, that's close enough. 281 00:18:16,032 --> 00:18:18,694 OK, all right, I just... guess I got... a little 282 00:18:18,768 --> 00:18:21,999 excited about Christmas and all the presents and mistletoe 283 00:18:22,071 --> 00:18:25,234 and everything, and I forgot that it's... 284 00:18:25,308 --> 00:18:29,039 It's about us all bein' together, and I'm... I'm sorry, Shrek. 285 00:18:29,112 --> 00:18:33,208 I know, Donkey, and... and I'm sorry it ended up in a great big fight. 286 00:18:33,282 --> 00:18:35,045 Christmas is all about big fights. 287 00:18:35,118 --> 00:18:38,679 My mama used to say, "Christmas ain't Christmas till somebody cries." 288 00:18:38,755 --> 00:18:40,450 Usually that someone's me. 289 00:18:40,523 --> 00:18:43,356 There is no right way to do Christmas. You just do it. 290 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:44,916 Ja, with schnitzel! 291 00:18:44,994 --> 00:18:46,928 - And eggnog! - And cheese! 292 00:18:46,996 --> 00:18:51,296 - And family. - Yeah. And family. 293 00:18:51,367 --> 00:18:55,599 So despite the fact that you drive me crazy at times... 294 00:18:55,671 --> 00:18:58,299 Yes, Donkey, I'm lookin' at you. 295 00:18:58,374 --> 00:19:03,038 ...it would mean a lot to me if you'd all come back and join us. 296 00:19:04,714 --> 00:19:07,774 OK, I guess I deserved that. 297 00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:09,317 Don't push your luck. 298 00:19:10,353 --> 00:19:12,753 They got you good, Shrek! 299 00:19:12,822 --> 00:19:15,382 That wasn't even funny! Who did that? 300 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,456 Well, that's the last of the spare blankets. 301 00:19:22,732 --> 00:19:26,896 Sorry, but this is my spot. I never get the good spots, so I specifically... 302 00:19:28,671 --> 00:19:31,936 So we are pigs, pigs in the blanket, ja? 303 00:19:32,008 --> 00:19:33,373 - Ja. - Ja. 304 00:19:33,443 --> 00:19:35,809 - This is funny then, ja? - Ja, ja. 305 00:19:35,878 --> 00:19:37,072 - This is funny. - Ja. 306 00:19:37,146 --> 00:19:39,876 - Yep, that's a good one. - Good night, everyone. 307 00:19:39,949 --> 00:19:42,884 - It's time for lights out. - We can't go to sleep yet. 308 00:19:42,952 --> 00:19:45,352 We haven't heard a bedtime story. Right? 309 00:19:45,421 --> 00:19:46,445 Shrek, yeah! 310 00:19:48,124 --> 00:19:50,092 All right. All right. 311 00:19:51,761 --> 00:19:53,228 Don't need this. 312 00:19:53,863 --> 00:19:55,057 OK. 313 00:19:56,699 --> 00:19:59,930 'Twas the night before Christmas 314 00:20:00,002 --> 00:20:02,232 Not a swamp rat did creep 315 00:20:02,305 --> 00:20:05,206 As mother and babe played kazoo in their sleep 316 00:20:07,243 --> 00:20:10,804 Now, the sight of the house would make any ogre droop 317 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:14,372 For 'twas sickeningly sweet as unicorn poop 318 00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:18,011 Yet who was arriving to help this lost cause? 319 00:20:18,087 --> 00:20:22,854 The foul, the vile and handsome Ogre Claus 320 00:20:22,925 --> 00:20:24,415 Hey. How's it goin'? 321 00:20:24,494 --> 00:20:27,258 He looked all around and scratched at his beard 322 00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:29,195 And said... 323 00:20:29,265 --> 00:20:31,631 And said... 324 00:20:31,701 --> 00:20:35,193 This place is worse than I thought... feared. 325 00:20:35,271 --> 00:20:38,502 So he grabbed up his belly and screwed up his face 326 00:20:38,574 --> 00:20:39,666 And let loose a... 327 00:20:41,978 --> 00:20:44,071 That transformed the place 328 00:20:44,146 --> 00:20:47,377 With a gleam in his eye his work here was done 329 00:20:47,450 --> 00:20:50,715 And then to the babies he gave one by one 330 00:20:50,786 --> 00:20:53,721 A festering bottle of stinky swamp juice 331 00:20:53,789 --> 00:20:57,384 And for mommy a kiss and a good Christmas goose 332 00:20:57,460 --> 00:21:00,486 Four hundred twenty five degrees, 20 minutes per pound. 333 00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:03,896 Then digging a finger inside of his nose 334 00:21:03,966 --> 00:21:08,007 And giving a nod up the chimney he rose 335 00:21:08,337 --> 00:21:12,205 And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight 336 00:21:12,275 --> 00:21:17,736 "Smelly Christmas to all, and to all a gross night!" 337 00:21:18,514 --> 00:21:22,211 Ho, ho, ho! 338 00:21:22,285 --> 00:21:24,276 Ho, ho, ho! 339 00:21:24,353 --> 00:21:27,379 - Ho, ho, ho! - Santa?! 340 00:21:28,357 --> 00:21:31,417 Ho, ho, ho!