0 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000 1 00:00:48,422 --> 00:00:53,177 Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. 2 00:00:53,427 --> 00:01:02,019 But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss. 3 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:08,609 She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon. 4 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:15,992 Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. 5 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:23,040 She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love 6 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:27,253 and true love's first kiss. 7 00:01:27,503 --> 00:01:29,714 Like that's ever going to happen. 8 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:34,552 What a loony. 9 00:01:51,485 --> 00:01:57,658 Shrek 10 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:47,752 Beware 11 00:03:16,903 --> 00:03:18,157 Stay out 12 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,552 I think he's in here. 13 00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:40,845 All right. Lets get it! 14 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:43,848 Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? 15 00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:48,394 Yeah. He'll groan into your bones for his brains. 16 00:03:48,644 --> 00:03:51,981 Well actually that would be a giant. 17 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:55,234 Now Ogres, huh, they are much worse. 18 00:03:55,484 --> 00:03:59,655 They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. 19 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:03,576 They'll chew your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. 20 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,286 Actually, it's quite good on toast. 21 00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:07,788 Back, back beast, back! 22 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:12,335 I warned you! 23 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:17,798 Right. 24 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:34,774 This is the part, where you run away. 25 00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:39,320 Yeah! 26 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:45,868 And stay out. 27 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:52,250 Wanted. Fairytale creatures. 28 00:04:55,586 --> 00:05:01,342 Right, this one is full. Take it away. 29 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,137 Give me that. 30 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,099 Your fine days are over. -25 pieces of silver for the witch. 31 00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:13,396 Next. -Come on. 32 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:17,567 Sit down there! And be quiet! 33 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,986 This cage is so small. 34 00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:22,488 You wouldn't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. 35 00:05:22,738 --> 00:05:24,031 Please, give me another chance. 36 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,033 Oh, shut up! 37 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,076 Next. 38 00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:27,827 What do we got? 39 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:29,620 This little wooden puppet. 40 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:35,042 I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy. 41 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,420 Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. 42 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,463 No! Please, don't let them do it! 43 00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,090 Next. What do you got? 44 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:44,385 Well, I've got a talking donkey! 45 00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:45,469 Right. 46 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,723 Well that's good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. 47 00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:53,519 Oh, go ahead fella. 48 00:05:53,769 --> 00:05:54,896 Well? 49 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,398 He's just a li..., just a little nervous. 50 00:05:57,648 --> 00:06:00,109 He's really quite a chatterbox. 51 00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:01,402 You boneheaded donkey! 52 00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:02,862 That's it. I have heard enough. Guards! 53 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,907 No, no, he talks, he does! 54 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,618 I can talk. I love to talk. 55 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:12,413 I've talked to... 56 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:18,544 Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! 57 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,884 Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He can fly! 58 00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,762 He can talk! -That's right, fool! 59 00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:30,806 Now I'm a flying, talking donkey! 60 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,850 You might have seen house fly, maybe even a superfly. 61 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:39,941 But I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! 62 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:47,156 Seize him! 63 00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:03,589 Get him! This way! Hurry! 64 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,804 You there. Ogre. -I. 65 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:11,597 By the order of lord Farquaad. 66 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,183 I am authorized to place you both under arrest. 67 00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:20,439 And transport you to designated resettlement facility. 68 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:22,149 Oh really? 69 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:27,238 You and what army? 70 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,248 Can I say something to you? 71 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:40,751 Listen, you were really, really something, back there. Incredible. 72 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:43,963 Are you talking to... 73 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:46,382 ...me? 74 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:47,842 Yes, I was talking to you. 75 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,644 Can I just tell you that you were really great back there with those guards. 76 00:07:50,795 --> 00:07:51,721 They thought that was all over there. 77 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:55,683 And then you showed up and BAM. There was tripping on over themselves like babes in the woods. 78 00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,468 That really made me feel good to see that. 79 00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:58,769 Oh, that's great. Really. 80 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,062 Man, it's good to be free. 81 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:06,135 Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? 82 00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:07,904 But I... 83 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,488 I don't have any friends. 84 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,116 And I'm not going out there by myself. 85 00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:13,618 Hey wait a minute. I have a great idea... 86 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,077 I'll stick with you. 87 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,454 You and me in green fighting machine. 88 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:22,110 Together we'll scare the spin if anybody crosses us. 89 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,088 Oh, a, that was really scary. 90 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,709 Maybe you don't mine me saying. If that don't work, your breath will certainly do the job done, 'cause... 91 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:32,111 you definitively need some tic-tac or something, 92 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,722 'cause your breath stinks! 93 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,474 Man you've ??? my note! 94 00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:39,268 Just like the time... 95 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,853 ...and then I ate some rotten berries. 96 00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,189 Man I had some strong gases leaking out of my but that day. 97 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:47,026 Why are you following me? 98 00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:50,446 I'll tell you why. 99 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,657 'Cause I'm all alone, 100 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:56,786 there is no one here, beside me. 101 00:08:57,036 --> 00:09:04,001 My problems have all gone. There's no one to derive me. 102 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:09,006 But you got to have free ... -Stop singing! 103 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,801 Well, it's no wonder, you don't have any friends. 104 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,628 Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. 105 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,222 Listen! Little donkey. 106 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:20,434 Take a look at me! What am I? 107 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,771 A... 108 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:24,689 ...really tall? 109 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:30,278 No! I'm an Ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchforks. 110 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,573 Doesn't that bother you? 111 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,491 Nope. 112 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,785 Really? -Really really. 113 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:38,828 Oh? 114 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,080 Man, I like you. What's your name? 115 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:44,500 A..., Shrek. 116 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,169 Shrek?! 117 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,378 But do you know, what I like about you, Shrek? 118 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:50,381 You've got that kind of: "I don't care what nobody thinks of me" thing. 119 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:55,970 I like that, I respect that, Shrek. You're all right. 120 00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:57,847 Uh, look at that. 121 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,141 Who would wanna live in a place like that? 122 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:02,602 That would be my home. 123 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:07,607 Oh, it is lovely. Just beautiful. You know you're quite a decorator. 124 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,276 It's amazing what you did with such a modest budget. 125 00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:16,741 I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. 126 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,454 I guess, you don't entertain much, do you? 127 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,539 I like my privacy. 128 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,833 You know I do to. That's another thing, we have in common. 129 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:29,170 Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You try to give them a hint and they won't leave. 130 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:34,842 And then there's that big occurred silence, you know? 131 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,221 Can I stay with you? -What? 132 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,848 Can I stay with you, please. 133 00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,184 Of course! -Really? 134 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,770 No. -Please! I don't want to go back there. 135 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,147 You don't how is like to be concerned like a freak. 136 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:50,942 Well..., maybe you do. But that's why we have to stick together! 137 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,277 You got to let me stay! Please! Please! 138 00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,613 OK, OK. 139 00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:58,199 -But one night only. -Huh, thank you! 140 00:10:58,449 --> 00:10:59,617 A, what are you do... No! 141 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:02,453 This is going to be fun. We can stay up late, swap the manly stories. 142 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:03,829 And in the morning... 143 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,999 I'm making waffles. 144 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:09,001 Where do I sleep? 145 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,754 Outside! 146 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:15,716 Oh, a, I guess that's cool. You know, I don't know you and you don't know me... 147 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:19,470 ... so I guess, outside is best for me. 148 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:24,016 Here I go. 149 00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:28,145 Good night. 150 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:32,066 I do like that half door. I'm a donkey all alone outside. 151 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:37,280 Sit by myself outside, I guess. 152 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:45,454 I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me. 153 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:53,564 -I thought, I told you to stay outside. -I am outside. 154 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,489 Well James. This is far from the farm, but what choice do we have? 155 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:05,076 It's not... 156 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,620 What a lovely bed. -Got you! 157 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:13,292 I found some cheese. Awful stuff. 158 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:15,586 -Is that you Gordon? -How did you know? 159 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:21,876 Enough! What are you doing in my house? 160 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,887 Oh, no, no, no... Death prods off the table! 161 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:30,560 Where would we supposed to put her. The bed's taken. 162 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:32,478 What? 163 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:37,900 I live in a swamp. I've put up signs. I'm a terrifying Ogre! 164 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:44,282 What do I have to do, to get a little privacy? 165 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:51,747 Oh, no! No, no! 166 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:05,678 What are you doing in my swamp? 167 00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:14,270 All right, get out of here. All of you. Move it! Come on, let's go. 168 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,023 And hurry up, hurry up. 169 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:23,154 No, no, not there. Not there! 170 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,824 Hey don't look at me. I didn't invite them. 171 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:29,702 Oh gosh, no one invited us. -What? 172 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:32,330 We were forced to come here. -By who? 173 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:37,043 Lord Farquaad. He ??? 174 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:40,838 All right. 175 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:46,302 Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? 176 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,554 Oh I do. I know where he is. 177 00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:53,809 Does anyone else know where to find him? 178 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,604 -Anyone at all? -Me. -Anyone? 179 00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:00,650 Oh pick me, I know! Me, me. 180 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,236 Ok, fine. 181 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:08,366 Attention all fairy tale things! 182 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:12,411 Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially warned up. 183 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:23,256 In fact. I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get all off my land and back where you came from. 184 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:33,057 You. You're coming with me. 185 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,475 All right. That's what I like to hear, man. 186 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:40,565 Shrek and Donkey, two stubborn friends off on a world and big city adventure. I love it. 187 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:46,195 I'm on road again. Sing with me Shrek! I'm on road again... 188 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,573 What did I say about singing? 189 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:49,699 -Can I whistle? -No. 190 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:55,037 -Well, can I hummer? -All right. 191 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:28,529 That's enough. He's ready to talk. 192 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:42,418 Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me. 193 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,837 I'm the gingerbread man. 194 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,297 You monster. 195 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,132 I'm not a monster here. You are. 196 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:52,887 You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. 197 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:57,391 -Now tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me. 198 00:16:57,642 --> 00:17:02,188 I've tried to be fair to you, creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! 199 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:05,149 -Tell me! Or I'll... -No, no, not the buttons. 200 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,109 Not gumdrop buttons. 201 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,278 All right! Who's hiding them? 202 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,781 Ok, I'll tell you. 203 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,076 -Do you know the muffin-man? -The muffin-man? 204 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,746 -The muffin-man. -Yes, I know the muffin-man. 205 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,706 Who lives on Proully lane? 206 00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:24,418 -Well, she's married to the muffin-man. -The muffin-man! 207 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:28,840 -The muffin-man! -She's married to the muffin-man. 208 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,050 My lord! We found it. 209 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:36,889 Well then, what are you waiting for? Bring it in. 210 00:17:48,818 --> 00:17:50,319 Magic mirror. 211 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:55,616 Don't tell him anything! 212 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,578 Evening. 213 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:04,083 Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? 214 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,378 Well, technically, you're not a king. 215 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:10,089 A..., felonious. 216 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,133 -You were saying. -What I mean is a... 217 00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:13,593 ...you're not a king, yet. 218 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:18,598 But you can become one. All you have to do, is marry a princess. 219 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,766 Go on. 220 00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:23,978 So, just sit back and relax my lord, 221 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:29,066 because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. 222 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,320 And here they are. 223 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:36,949 Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shading from a kingdom far, far away. 224 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,619 She likes sushi and hottubbing anytime. 225 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:43,080 Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for two evil sisters. 226 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:46,250 Please welcome... Cinderella. 227 00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:49,504 Bachelorette number two is a kemp wearing girl from a land of fantasy. 228 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,590 Although she lives with seven other man, she is not easy. 229 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:56,302 Just kiss hers dead frozen lips and find out what a live wife she is. 230 00:18:56,552 --> 00:19:00,389 Come on. Give it up for... Show-white. 231 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,558 And last but certainly not least. 232 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,477 Bachelorette number three is a fire-breathing ????, 233 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:08,940 dragon guarded castle, surrounded by a hot boiling lava. But don't let that cool you off. 234 00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:12,860 She's a loaded pistol who likes Pina Coladas and getting cut in the rain. 235 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:17,198 Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona. 236 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:21,577 So will it be, bachelorette number one? Bachelorette number two? 237 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,955 Or bachelorette number three? 238 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:27,625 -Two... -Three! -Two! 239 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,544 One. No, no, no. 240 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,879 Three. Pick number three my lord. 241 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,966 Ok, ok. Number three. 242 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:43,516 Lord Farquaad. You've chosen... princess Fiona. 243 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:49,564 She's nice. Fiona. She's perfect. 244 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,858 All I have to do is just find someone... 245 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:54,694 But I probably should mention little thing that happens at night... 246 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,445 -I'll do it! -Yes, but after sunset... 247 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,197 Silence! 248 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,658 I will make this princess Fiona my queen. 249 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:04,996 And Duloc will finally have the perfect king! 250 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,456 Captain! Assemble your finest man. 251 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:13,337 We're going to have a tournament! 252 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,340 That's it, that's, right there, that's Duloc. 253 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,009 I've told you I'll find it. 254 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:22,930 So. That must be lord Farquaad's castle. 255 00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:25,099 Aha, that's the place. 256 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:30,688 Do you think maybe he's compensating for something. 257 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:37,528 Hey, hey wait up Shrek! 258 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,532 -Hey, you! -No, no! 259 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,451 Wait a second. 260 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:49,540 Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just... 261 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:24,116 It's quiet. 262 00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:28,538 Too quiet. 263 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,457 Where is everybody? 264 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:36,212 Hey look at this. 265 00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,717 Wow! 266 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:28,514 -Let's do that again. -No. no. 267 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:40,902 All right. You're going the right way for smack bottom. 268 00:22:41,152 --> 00:22:43,404 Sorry about that. 269 00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:46,657 That champion should have the honor, no, no... 270 00:22:46,908 --> 00:22:56,167 ...the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely princess Fiona from the fireing keep of the dragon. 271 00:22:56,417 --> 00:23:03,674 If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner up will take his place. 272 00:23:03,925 --> 00:23:06,219 And so on, and so forth. 273 00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:15,061 Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. 274 00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:17,104 Applause. 275 00:23:17,355 --> 00:23:23,110 Let the tournament begin. 276 00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:28,324 What is that? 277 00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:29,992 Ugh, it's hideous. 278 00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:33,120 Oh, that's not very nice. 279 00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:35,581 It's just a donkey. 280 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,124 Indeed. 281 00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:42,463 Knights! New plan. The one, who kills the Ogre, will be named champion. 282 00:23:42,713 --> 00:23:44,632 How about him. 283 00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:50,012 Oh, hey. Now, come on. 284 00:23:50,388 --> 00:23:54,767 Can't we just settle this over a pint? 285 00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:56,352 No? 286 00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:59,438 All right then. 287 00:23:59,689 --> 00:24:03,985 Come on. 288 00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:37,894 Hey Shrek! Let me, let me! 289 00:24:46,736 --> 00:24:52,033 The chair! Give him the chair! 290 00:25:14,055 --> 00:25:16,057 Thank you. Thank you, very much. 291 00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:20,478 I'm here until Thursday. Try the wheel! 292 00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:26,984 Shall I give the order sir? 293 00:25:27,235 --> 00:25:30,780 No. I have a better idea. 294 00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:35,910 People of Duloc. I give you our champion! 295 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,079 What? 296 00:25:38,329 --> 00:25:40,206 Congratulation, Ogre. 297 00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:44,085 You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. 298 00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:46,963 Quest? I'm already on a quest. 299 00:25:47,213 --> 00:25:48,840 A quest to get my swamp back! 300 00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:51,968 -Your swamp? -Yeah, my swamp! 301 00:25:52,218 --> 00:25:55,638 Where you dumped those fairytale creatures. 302 00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:57,014 Indeed. 303 00:25:57,265 --> 00:25:59,267 All right Ogre, I'll make you a deal. 304 00:25:59,517 --> 00:26:03,771 Go on this quest for me and I'll give you your swamp back. 305 00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:06,315 Exactly the way it was? 306 00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:08,818 Down to the last slime covered toast tool. 307 00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:13,364 -And the squatters? -As good as gone. 308 00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:19,954 What kind of quest? 309 00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:20,746 Ok, let me get this straight! 310 00:26:20,997 --> 00:26:25,293 We gonna go find the dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back the swamp, 311 00:26:25,293 --> 00:26:27,628 which you only don't have, 'cause he filled it with full of freaks on the first place. 312 00:26:27,879 --> 00:26:29,422 -Is that about right? -You know what? 313 00:26:29,672 --> 00:26:32,592 Maybe there is a good reason, donkeys shouldn't talk. 314 00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:35,720 I don't get it Shrek. Why didn't you just pull some old Ogre stuff on them? 315 00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:41,066 You know, ??? . Grab his bones to make you brave. You know the whole Ogre trick. 316 00:26:41,184 --> 00:26:47,179 Oh, you know what. Maybe I could have decapitated entire village and put their heads on plate. 317 00:26:47,315 --> 00:26:51,652 Got a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. 318 00:26:51,652 --> 00:26:54,572 Does that sound good to you? 319 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,282 A, no, not really, no. 320 00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:59,994 For your information, there is a lot more to Ogres than people think. 321 00:27:00,244 --> 00:27:02,622 -Example. -Example? 322 00:27:02,872 --> 00:27:07,168 OK, A-a-m, Ogres are like onions. 323 00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:09,921 -They stink? -Yes, no. 324 00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:11,339 -O, they make you cry. -No. 325 00:27:11,589 --> 00:27:14,917 Oh, you leave them out on the sun and they get all brown and start ??? little wild hairs? 326 00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:19,263 No! Layers! Onions have layers. 327 00:27:19,639 --> 00:27:22,517 Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. 328 00:27:22,767 --> 00:27:27,063 You get it? We both have layers. 329 00:27:27,647 --> 00:27:31,651 O, you both have layers. 330 00:27:31,901 --> 00:27:33,986 You know not everybody likes onions. 331 00:27:34,237 --> 00:27:37,031 Cake! Everybody loves cakes. Cakes have layers. 332 00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:40,868 I don't care what everyone likes. 333 00:27:41,118 --> 00:27:45,414 Ogres are not like cakes. 334 00:27:47,542 --> 00:27:48,918 You know what else everyone likes? Paffe. 335 00:27:49,168 --> 00:27:51,796 Have you ever met a person and you say: "Hey, let's get some paffe" and 336 00:27:52,046 --> 00:27:54,131 they say I don't like paffe. Paffe is delicious. 337 00:27:54,382 --> 00:27:58,678 No! You tensed, irritating, miniature peace of barden. 338 00:27:58,719 --> 00:28:01,514 Ogres are like onions. End of story. 339 00:28:01,764 --> 00:28:06,060 Bye, bye. See you lather. 340 00:28:08,855 --> 00:28:12,441 Paffe is maybe the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. 341 00:28:12,692 --> 00:28:15,194 You know I think I've preferred your humming. 342 00:28:15,444 --> 00:28:17,780 Do you have a tissue or something, 'cause I'm making a mess. 343 00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:22,326 Just the word paffe has made me start slimying 344 00:29:00,823 --> 00:29:02,783 Why, Shrek, did you do that? 345 00:29:03,034 --> 00:29:05,369 Man you got to warn somebody before you just crack one off. 346 00:29:05,620 --> 00:29:06,662 My mouth was opened and everything. 347 00:29:06,913 --> 00:29:11,209 Believe me donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. 348 00:29:11,709 --> 00:29:14,754 It's brimstone. We must be getting close. 349 00:29:15,004 --> 00:29:17,381 Yeah, right, brimstone. 350 00:29:17,632 --> 00:29:20,635 Don't be talking ??? brimstone. I know what I smell and ??? no brimstone. 351 00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:25,181 And they don't come of stone neither. 352 00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:45,159 Sure it's big enough, but look at the location. 353 00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:53,125 Oh, Shrek, remember when you said that Ogres have layers? 354 00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:55,503 Oh, yeah. 355 00:29:55,753 --> 00:29:58,923 Well, I have a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. 356 00:29:59,173 --> 00:30:01,259 We wear ??? sleeves. 357 00:30:01,509 --> 00:30:03,636 Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. 358 00:30:03,886 --> 00:30:08,182 -You know what I mean. -Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of highs. 359 00:30:08,558 --> 00:30:12,854 No, I'm just a little uncomfortable of being on a rickety bridge over boiling lake of lava! 360 00:30:12,854 --> 00:30:16,607 Come on donkey, I'm right here beside you. Ok? 361 00:30:16,858 --> 00:30:19,402 For emotional support. 362 00:30:19,652 --> 00:30:23,948 We'll just hackle this thing together one little baby step after time. 363 00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:26,033 -Really? -Really really. 364 00:30:26,284 --> 00:30:28,302 Ok. That makes me feel so much better. 365 00:30:28,452 --> 00:30:31,414 Just keep moving and don't look down. 366 00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:35,960 Don't look down, don't look down. 367 00:30:40,006 --> 00:30:42,675 Shrek! I'm looking down! 368 00:30:42,925 --> 00:30:44,427 I can't do this. Just let me off right now, please. 369 00:30:44,677 --> 00:30:47,889 -But you're already half way. -Yeah, but I know that half is safe. 370 00:30:48,139 --> 00:30:50,850 Ok, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. 371 00:30:51,100 --> 00:30:55,396 Shrek, no, wait. 372 00:30:56,314 --> 00:30:57,607 Don't do that! 373 00:30:57,857 --> 00:31:00,860 Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? 374 00:31:01,110 --> 00:31:04,864 -Oh. This? -Yes, that! 375 00:31:05,114 --> 00:31:08,451 Yes, yes. Do it. OK. 376 00:31:08,701 --> 00:31:12,997 -No, Shrek! -I'm doing it. 377 00:31:13,122 --> 00:31:17,418 I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. 378 00:31:19,837 --> 00:31:24,133 That will do Donkey, that will do. 379 00:31:27,512 --> 00:31:29,639 Cool. 380 00:31:29,889 --> 00:31:32,341 So where is this fire breathing pain in the neck anyway? 381 00:31:32,391 --> 00:31:36,145 Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her. 382 00:31:36,395 --> 00:31:40,691 I was talking about the dragon Shrek. 383 00:31:55,957 --> 00:32:00,253 -Are you afraid? -No, but shhhhh. 384 00:32:00,878 --> 00:32:05,174 Oh, good. Me neither. 385 00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:09,720 Because there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Here's a..., something responsible of the situation. 386 00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:14,767 Not to mention dangerous situation. And there's dragon that breathes fire. 387 00:32:15,518 --> 00:32:18,846 I'm sure he's meaner than a cow or anything, but they're scare. You know what I mean. 388 00:32:18,896 --> 00:32:23,192 I'm sure he's heavier than a cow... 389 00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:26,737 Donkey. Two things. Ok? 390 00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:29,323 Shut, up. 391 00:32:29,574 --> 00:32:31,909 Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. 392 00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:34,345 Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess. 393 00:32:34,495 --> 00:32:38,791 The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. 394 00:32:39,625 --> 00:32:41,169 What makes you think she'll be there? 395 00:32:41,419 --> 00:32:43,754 I read it in a book once. 396 00:32:44,005 --> 00:32:47,800 Cool. You handle the dragon, I'll handle the stairs. 397 00:32:48,050 --> 00:32:50,553 Oh, I'll find those stairs. I'll ???. That's right. 398 00:32:50,803 --> 00:32:55,099 Those stairs won't know which way they go. 399 00:32:57,810 --> 00:32:59,729 The drafting stairs, ??? 400 00:32:59,979 --> 00:33:02,815 Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I'm master of the stairs. 401 00:33:03,065 --> 00:33:07,361 I wish I had a stair right here right here now, I'd step all over it. 402 00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:12,074 Well, at least we know where the princess is. 403 00:33:12,325 --> 00:33:16,621 -But where is the... -Dragon! 404 00:33:31,010 --> 00:33:35,306 Donkey, look out! 405 00:33:45,274 --> 00:33:47,570 Got you. 406 00:34:25,648 --> 00:34:28,860 Oh, what large teeth you have. 407 00:34:29,110 --> 00:34:31,487 I mean, white sparkling teeth. 408 00:34:31,737 --> 00:34:33,656 You probably hear this all the time from your food, but 409 00:34:33,906 --> 00:34:37,368 you must bleach yourself, because that is one dashing smile you got there. 410 00:34:37,618 --> 00:34:40,329 And do I detect the hint of minty freshness? 411 00:34:40,580 --> 00:34:43,249 And you know what else? 412 00:34:43,499 --> 00:34:48,795 You're a girl dragon. Oh, sure. I mean 'course you're a girl dragon, 413 00:34:49,839 --> 00:34:54,135 'cause you're just ricking the feminine beauty out. 414 00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:58,556 What's the matter with you? Do you have something in your eye? 415 00:34:59,140 --> 00:35:02,143 Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know I'm a asthmatic and 416 00:35:02,393 --> 00:35:05,354 I don't know if we would worked out. You'd be blowing smoke and stuff. 417 00:35:05,605 --> 00:35:09,609 Shrek! 418 00:35:09,859 --> 00:35:14,155 No, Shrek! Shrek! 419 00:35:46,562 --> 00:35:47,730 -Wake up! -What? 420 00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:50,274 Are you princess Fiona? 421 00:35:50,525 --> 00:35:52,276 I am. 422 00:35:52,527 --> 00:35:55,071 Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. 423 00:35:55,321 --> 00:35:57,323 Oh, that's nice. Now let's go. 424 00:35:57,573 --> 00:35:59,534 But wait, sir knight. 425 00:35:59,784 --> 00:36:01,702 This be our first meeting. 426 00:36:01,953 --> 00:36:05,414 Should not be wonderful, romantic moment? 427 00:36:05,665 --> 00:36:08,793 Yeah. Sorry lady there's no time. 428 00:36:09,043 --> 00:36:12,288 Hey, what are you doing? You know, you should sweep me out of my feet. 429 00:36:12,338 --> 00:36:16,092 Out through the window and down the rope by to your valued steed. 430 00:36:16,342 --> 00:36:18,302 You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? 431 00:36:18,553 --> 00:36:22,849 Uh-um. 432 00:36:22,932 --> 00:36:25,518 But we have to sing through this moment. 433 00:36:25,768 --> 00:36:28,354 You can residing of a poem to me. 434 00:36:28,604 --> 00:36:32,900 A ballad, a sonnet, a libretti. Or something. 435 00:36:33,401 --> 00:36:34,652 I don't think so. 436 00:36:34,902 --> 00:36:39,198 Well, can I at least know a name of my champion? 437 00:36:40,408 --> 00:36:41,868 Shrek. 438 00:36:42,118 --> 00:36:44,662 So, Shrek. 439 00:36:44,912 --> 00:36:49,208 I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. 440 00:36:51,002 --> 00:36:55,298 Thanks. 441 00:36:56,591 --> 00:37:00,887 -You didn't slay the dragon? -It's not my job to do this. Now, come on! 442 00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:05,516 But this isn't right. ??? 443 00:37:06,893 --> 00:37:07,852 That's what all the other knights did. 444 00:37:08,102 --> 00:37:10,980 Yeah. Right before they burst in the flame. 445 00:37:11,230 --> 00:37:13,983 That's not the point. 446 00:37:14,233 --> 00:37:16,569 Wait. Where are you going? Exit is over there. 447 00:37:16,819 --> 00:37:19,363 Well, I have to save my ass. 448 00:37:19,614 --> 00:37:22,491 What kind of knight are you? 449 00:37:22,742 --> 00:37:27,038 One of a kind. 450 00:37:35,046 --> 00:37:37,882 ...rush into a physical relationship. 451 00:37:38,132 --> 00:37:42,386 I'm not that emotionally ready for commitment of a this magnitude. 452 00:37:42,553 --> 00:37:45,014 That was the word I was looking for. Magnitude. 453 00:37:45,264 --> 00:37:47,642 Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. 454 00:37:47,892 --> 00:37:49,560 Hey, what are you doing? 455 00:37:49,810 --> 00:37:53,064 Ok, ok, let's just back up a little and take this one step at the time. 456 00:37:53,314 --> 00:37:55,558 I mean, we really should get to know each other first, you know what am I saying. 457 00:37:55,608 --> 00:37:59,904 As friends, maybe even as ??? 458 00:38:04,492 --> 00:38:06,410 Hey don't do that. That's my tail. That's ma personal tail. 459 00:38:06,661 --> 00:38:10,957 And you're going to tear it off.... 460 00:38:14,043 --> 00:38:18,339 Oh, no. No! 461 00:38:44,907 --> 00:38:49,203 -It talks?! -Yeah. It's getting to shut up, that's a trick. 462 00:39:25,531 --> 00:39:29,327 Ok, you two. Head for the exit. 463 00:39:29,577 --> 00:39:33,831 I'll take care of the dragon. 464 00:39:37,793 --> 00:39:42,089 Ruuuuun! 465 00:40:28,469 --> 00:40:30,680 You did it. You rescued me. 466 00:40:30,930 --> 00:40:35,226 Amizing, you're wonderful. You're a ... 467 00:40:36,310 --> 00:40:39,230 ...a little unorthodox I admit, but 468 00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:45,776 by deed is great and by heart is pure. I'm entirely in your debt. 469 00:40:47,738 --> 00:40:52,076 And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed. 470 00:40:52,118 --> 00:40:54,912 I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. 471 00:40:55,162 --> 00:40:57,623 She thinks I'm a steed. 472 00:40:57,874 --> 00:41:02,170 The battle is won. You may remove your helmet good sir knight. 473 00:41:02,545 --> 00:41:05,923 -Aah, no. -Why not? 474 00:41:06,174 --> 00:41:07,466 I have helmet hair. 475 00:41:07,717 --> 00:41:10,603 Please. I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer. 476 00:41:10,753 --> 00:41:13,306 Oh, no, you wouldn't, dust. 477 00:41:13,556 --> 00:41:15,850 But, how will you kiss me? 478 00:41:16,100 --> 00:41:20,396 What? That wasn't in a job description. 479 00:41:20,521 --> 00:41:24,025 -Maybe it's a perk? -No. It's destiny. 480 00:41:24,275 --> 00:41:26,819 You must know how it goes. 481 00:41:27,069 --> 00:41:33,365 A princess locked in a tower and besieged by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight. 482 00:41:33,618 --> 00:41:37,413 And then they share true love's first kiss. 483 00:41:37,663 --> 00:41:40,041 With Shrek? You think, wait... 484 00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:42,502 ...you think Shrek is your true love? 485 00:41:42,752 --> 00:41:47,048 Well, yes. 486 00:41:48,799 --> 00:41:50,885 You think that Shrek is your true love. 487 00:41:51,135 --> 00:41:53,095 What is so funny? 488 00:41:53,346 --> 00:41:55,848 Let's just say, I'm not your type, ok? 489 00:41:56,098 --> 00:41:59,644 Of course you are. You're my rescuer. 490 00:41:59,894 --> 00:42:01,854 Now, now remove your helmet. 491 00:42:02,104 --> 00:42:04,390 Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. 492 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,317 -Just take off the helmet. -I'm not going to. 493 00:42:06,567 --> 00:42:07,527 -Take it off! -No! 494 00:42:07,777 --> 00:42:11,531 -Now! -Ok, easy. 495 00:42:11,781 --> 00:42:16,077 As you command your highness. 496 00:42:26,212 --> 00:42:29,048 You're an Ogre. 497 00:42:29,298 --> 00:42:31,926 Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. 498 00:42:32,176 --> 00:42:36,472 Well, yes, actually. 499 00:42:37,223 --> 00:42:41,819 Oh no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an Ogre. 500 00:42:43,104 --> 00:42:47,400 Princess, I was sent to rescue you by lord Farquaad, ok? 501 00:42:47,733 --> 00:42:49,443 He's the one, who wants to marry you. 502 00:42:49,694 --> 00:42:51,946 Well, then why didn't he come to rescue me? 503 00:42:52,196 --> 00:42:55,491 Good question. You should ask him that, when we get there. 504 00:42:55,741 --> 00:42:58,744 But I have to be rescued by my true love. 505 00:42:58,995 --> 00:43:01,831 Not by some Ogre and his pet. 506 00:43:02,081 --> 00:43:03,749 Well so much for noble steed. 507 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,535 Look princess. You're not making my job any easier. 508 00:43:06,586 --> 00:43:09,881 Well I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. 509 00:43:10,131 --> 00:43:15,327 You can tell lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, 510 00:43:15,569 --> 00:43:17,763 I'll be waiting for him right here. 511 00:43:18,014 --> 00:43:21,475 Hey, I'm no ones messenger boy, all right? 512 00:43:21,726 --> 00:43:26,022 -I'm a delivery boy. -You wouldn't dare. 513 00:43:26,689 --> 00:43:27,815 -You coming donkey? -Put me down! 514 00:43:28,065 --> 00:43:29,692 Yeah, I'm right behind you. 515 00:43:29,942 --> 00:43:32,945 Put me down or you will suffer the consequences. 516 00:43:33,196 --> 00:43:37,533 This is not dignified. Put me down. 517 00:43:40,119 --> 00:43:42,988 Ok, here's another question. Let's say that a woman 'digged' you, but you don't really like her, 518 00:43:43,039 --> 00:43:46,325 that way. Now, how you let her down real easy, so her feelings aren't hurt? 519 00:43:46,375 --> 00:43:49,186 But you don't get burned to a crisp neither. How do you do this? 520 00:43:49,337 --> 00:43:51,422 Just tell her, she's not your true love. 521 00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:54,842 Everyone knows it what happens when you find... 522 00:43:55,092 --> 00:43:59,588 Hey! The sooner we get to Duloc, the better. 523 00:43:59,972 --> 00:44:02,308 Oh, yeah. You gonna love it there princess. It's beautiful. 524 00:44:02,558 --> 00:44:06,178 And what of my groom to be, lord Farquaad. What's he like? 525 00:44:06,229 --> 00:44:09,106 Well, let me put it this way, princess. 526 00:44:09,357 --> 00:44:13,694 Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. 527 00:44:14,487 --> 00:44:18,824 Oh no, Shrek. There are those who think little of him. 528 00:44:21,285 --> 00:44:23,788 Stop it. Stop it, both of you. 529 00:44:24,038 --> 00:44:28,534 You know, you're just jealous that you can never measure up to a great ruler like lord Farquaad. 530 00:44:29,210 --> 00:44:35,606 Yeah. Well maybe you're right princess. But I'd like you do that measuring when you see him tomorrow 531 00:44:35,983 --> 00:44:38,219 Tomorrow? 532 00:44:38,469 --> 00:44:40,179 It will take that long? 533 00:44:40,429 --> 00:44:44,725 -Shouldn't we stop to make camp? -No. That would take longer. 534 00:44:44,809 --> 00:44:45,893 We can keep going. 535 00:44:46,143 --> 00:44:49,021 But there are robbers in the woods. 536 00:44:49,272 --> 00:44:52,266 Whoa, time out Shrek. Camp is definitely something that sounds good. 537 00:44:52,316 --> 00:44:56,237 Hey. Come on. I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest. 538 00:44:56,487 --> 00:45:00,783 I need to find somewhere to camp, now! 539 00:45:05,830 --> 00:45:07,832 Hey, over here. 540 00:45:08,082 --> 00:45:12,378 Shrek, we can do better than that. Now, I don't think this is decent for princess. 541 00:45:12,628 --> 00:45:15,756 No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. 542 00:45:16,007 --> 00:45:20,303 Homey touches? Like what? 543 00:45:21,220 --> 00:45:22,388 A door. 544 00:45:22,638 --> 00:45:24,932 Well, gentleman I'll be d..., good night. 545 00:45:25,183 --> 00:45:27,301 Do you want me to come in and read you a bedtime story, 'cause I will... 546 00:45:27,351 --> 00:45:31,647 I said good night! 547 00:45:33,282 --> 00:45:35,860 Shrek! What are you doing? 548 00:45:36,110 --> 00:45:37,486 I just..., you know... 549 00:45:37,737 --> 00:45:42,033 Oh, come on, I was just kidding. 550 00:45:46,537 --> 00:45:49,498 And that one, that's Throwback. 551 00:45:49,749 --> 00:45:53,211 The only Ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. 552 00:45:53,461 --> 00:45:57,381 Right. Yeah. 553 00:45:57,532 --> 00:45:59,133 Hey, can you tell my future form these stars? 554 00:45:59,383 --> 00:46:01,385 Well, the stars don't tell the future, Donkey. 555 00:46:01,636 --> 00:46:04,222 They tell stories. Look. 556 00:46:04,372 --> 00:46:06,349 There's Blodna, the "Flatulent" 557 00:46:06,599 --> 00:46:08,809 You can guess what he is famous for. 558 00:46:09,060 --> 00:46:10,520 All right. Now I know you're making this up. 559 00:46:10,770 --> 00:46:15,066 No. Look. There he is and there's the group of hunters running away from his stag. 560 00:46:15,859 --> 00:46:19,028 Man, there ain't nothing, but a bunch of little dots. 561 00:46:19,278 --> 00:46:23,574 You know donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. 562 00:46:25,409 --> 00:46:29,705 Forget it. 563 00:46:30,915 --> 00:46:34,168 Hey Shrek. What are you gonna do when we get our swamp back, anyway? 564 00:46:34,418 --> 00:46:38,214 -Our swamp? -You know. When we're through rescuing the princess and all that stuff. 565 00:46:38,464 --> 00:46:42,343 We? Donkey, there is no we. There's no our. 566 00:46:42,593 --> 00:46:44,679 There's just me and my swamp. 567 00:46:44,929 --> 00:46:49,225 And the first thing I'm gonna do, is build a ten foot wall around my land. 568 00:46:50,726 --> 00:46:55,022 You cut me deep Shrek, you cut me real deep just now. 569 00:46:55,398 --> 00:46:59,894 You know, what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. 570 00:47:00,862 --> 00:47:04,073 No, do you think? 571 00:47:04,323 --> 00:47:07,493 -Are you hiding something? -Never mind Donkey. 572 00:47:07,743 --> 00:47:10,788 Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? 573 00:47:11,038 --> 00:47:14,250 No. This is one of those drop it and leave it alone things. 574 00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:18,045 -Why don't you want to talk about it? -Why do you want to talk about it? 575 00:47:18,296 --> 00:47:20,590 -Oh, Why you block? -I'm not blocking. -Oh yes you are. 576 00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:24,135 -Donkey, I'm warning you. -Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that Shrek. Who? 577 00:47:24,385 --> 00:47:26,888 Everyone, ok? 578 00:47:27,138 --> 00:47:31,434 -Oh, now we're getting somewhere. -Oh, for 'the love of pit'. 579 00:47:32,643 --> 00:47:35,354 Hey, what's your problem Shrek? What do you got against the whole world anyway? 580 00:47:35,605 --> 00:47:37,648 Look. I'm not the one with the problem, ok? 581 00:47:37,899 --> 00:47:40,610 It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. 582 00:47:40,860 --> 00:47:44,822 People take one look at me and go: AAA... Help! Run! 583 00:47:44,972 --> 00:47:49,368 A big stupid ugly Ogre. 584 00:47:49,702 --> 00:47:52,755 They judge me, before they even know me. 585 00:47:53,006 --> 00:47:57,302 That's why I'm better off alone. 586 00:48:04,075 --> 00:48:08,471 You know what? When we met, I didn't think you're just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. 587 00:48:10,957 --> 00:48:14,268 Yeah, I know. 588 00:48:14,319 --> 00:48:17,480 So, a... Are there any donkeys up there? 589 00:48:17,730 --> 00:48:22,026 Well, there's a Cabby. The small and annoying. 590 00:48:23,236 --> 00:48:27,532 Ok, ok. I see him, now. Big shining one, right there. That one, over there? 591 00:48:28,407 --> 00:48:32,745 That's the moon. 592 00:48:53,808 --> 00:48:58,104 Again. Show me again. 593 00:48:59,647 --> 00:49:03,943 Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. 594 00:49:09,866 --> 00:49:14,161 Perfect. 595 00:50:17,217 --> 00:50:21,812 Yeah. You know I like like that. Oh come on baby... 596 00:50:21,854 --> 00:50:26,150 -Donkey. Wake up. -What? -Wake up. 597 00:50:27,401 --> 00:50:31,405 Morning. How do you like your eggs? 598 00:50:31,656 --> 00:50:35,209 -Good morning princess. -What's all this about? 599 00:50:35,260 --> 00:50:40,456 You know, we kind of got of to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you. 600 00:50:41,290 --> 00:50:45,586 I mean, after all, you did rescue me. 601 00:50:47,088 --> 00:50:49,173 Thanks. 602 00:50:49,423 --> 00:50:53,719 Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. 603 00:50:58,891 --> 00:51:01,394 -Shrek! -What? It's a compliment. 604 00:51:01,644 --> 00:51:04,213 Better out than in I always say. 605 00:51:04,364 --> 00:51:07,984 But that's no way to behave in front of a princess. 606 00:51:08,234 --> 00:51:11,863 -Thanks. -She's as nasty as you are. 607 00:51:12,113 --> 00:51:15,533 You know. You're not exactly what I've expected. 608 00:51:15,783 --> 00:51:20,079 Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. 609 00:51:26,394 --> 00:51:29,163 Princess! 610 00:51:29,714 --> 00:51:31,048 What are you doing? 611 00:51:31,299 --> 00:51:39,595 ???mon shery, for I am your saviour. And I am rescuing you from this green...beast. 612 00:51:40,641 --> 00:51:43,853 Hey! That's my princess. Go find your own. 613 00:51:44,103 --> 00:51:48,399 Please, monster. Can't you see I'm a little busy here? 614 00:51:49,442 --> 00:51:52,862 Look, pal. I don't know who you think you are. 615 00:51:53,112 --> 00:51:54,822 Oh, of course. How rude that was. 616 00:51:55,072 --> 00:51:59,368 Please, let me introduce myself. Oh marry men! 617 00:52:46,958 --> 00:52:48,459 Man, that was annoying. 618 00:52:48,709 --> 00:52:53,005 Oh, you little... 619 00:53:19,365 --> 00:53:22,034 Shall we? 620 00:53:22,285 --> 00:53:26,080 ???all the forin??? 621 00:53:26,330 --> 00:53:29,333 Whoa, hold on, now. Where did that come from? 622 00:53:29,584 --> 00:53:33,171 -What? -That. Back there. That was amazing. 623 00:53:33,421 --> 00:53:34,755 Where did you learn that? 624 00:53:35,006 --> 00:53:40,502 Well, when one lives alone one has to learn these things in case there's a... 625 00:53:41,012 --> 00:53:42,346 There is an arrow in your butt. 626 00:53:42,597 --> 00:53:45,183 What? Oh, would you look at that. 627 00:53:45,433 --> 00:53:48,311 Oh, no... This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. 628 00:53:48,561 --> 00:53:52,190 -What's wrong? -Shrek's hurt. -Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt! 629 00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:54,734 -Oh, no. Shrek's going to die. -Donkey, I'm ok. 630 00:53:54,984 --> 00:53:57,403 You can't do this to me Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. 631 00:53:57,653 --> 00:53:58,988 Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head ???. 632 00:53:59,238 --> 00:54:02,241 -Does anyone know how to handle... -Donkey! Calm down. 633 00:54:02,491 --> 00:54:06,787 If you want to help Shrek, run into woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. 634 00:54:07,038 --> 00:54:11,334 Blue flower, red thorns. Ok, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. 635 00:54:11,501 --> 00:54:13,878 Don't die Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! 636 00:54:14,128 --> 00:54:18,090 -Donkey! -Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. 637 00:54:18,341 --> 00:54:22,178 -What are the flowers for? -For getting rid of the Donkey. 638 00:54:22,428 --> 00:54:24,722 Now, you hold still and I'll yank this thing out. 639 00:54:24,972 --> 00:54:28,809 -Hey! Easy with the yanking. -I'm sorry, but it has to come out. 640 00:54:29,060 --> 00:54:32,438 No, no. It's tender. What you're doing here is the opposite... 641 00:54:32,688 --> 00:54:38,984 -Don't move. -Ok, look. Time out. -Would you... Ok. 642 00:54:39,153 --> 00:54:41,197 What do you propose we do? 643 00:54:41,447 --> 00:54:43,533 Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. 644 00:54:43,783 --> 00:54:45,952 This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind. 645 00:54:46,202 --> 00:54:48,120 Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. 646 00:54:48,371 --> 00:54:51,667 Hold on, Shrek. I'm coming! 647 00:54:53,751 --> 00:54:55,086 Not good. 648 00:54:55,336 --> 00:54:59,632 Ok, ok, I can lose it. It's just about it. 649 00:55:04,470 --> 00:55:05,263 Nothing happened. 650 00:55:05,513 --> 00:55:07,181 We were just a... 651 00:55:07,431 --> 00:55:10,142 Look if you want to be alone, all you had to do is ask, ok? 652 00:55:10,393 --> 00:55:13,771 Oh, come on. That's the last thing on my mind. 653 00:55:14,021 --> 00:55:18,317 The princess here was just... Au! 654 00:55:23,072 --> 00:55:27,368 Hey, what's that? Is that... 655 00:56:57,416 --> 00:56:59,585 There it is, princess. 656 00:56:59,836 --> 00:57:02,547 -Your future awaits you. -That's Duloc? 657 00:57:02,797 --> 00:57:08,293 Yeah. I know. You'll shrink things lord Farquaad is compensating for something, which I think needs, he has a 658 00:57:11,055 --> 00:57:12,765 I guess we better move on. 659 00:57:13,015 --> 00:57:17,311 Sure, but Shrek... 660 00:57:17,436 --> 00:57:18,980 -I'm worried about Donkey. -What? 661 00:57:19,230 --> 00:57:22,692 I mean. Look at him. He doesn't look so good. 662 00:57:22,942 --> 00:57:25,444 -What are you talking about? I'm fine. -Well, that's what they always say. 663 00:57:25,695 --> 00:57:29,574 And the next thing you know you're on your back. 664 00:57:29,824 --> 00:57:32,952 -Dead! -You know she's right. You look awful. 665 00:57:33,202 --> 00:57:36,414 -Do you want to sit down? -You know, I'll make you up some tea. 666 00:57:36,664 --> 00:57:37,874 Well, I won't say nothing, but 667 00:57:38,124 --> 00:57:41,419 I've got this twinge in my neck. And if I turn my neck like this, look. Au, see? 668 00:57:41,669 --> 00:57:44,630 -He's hungry. I'll find us some dinner. -I'll get the firewood. 669 00:57:44,881 --> 00:57:51,177 Hey, where are you going? Oh man, I can't feel my thumbs. I don't have any thumbs!!! 670 00:57:52,263 --> 00:57:55,059 I think I need a hug. 671 00:58:01,772 --> 00:58:06,068 This is good. This is really good. 672 00:58:06,736 --> 00:58:09,655 -What is this? -Wheat rat. 673 00:58:09,906 --> 00:58:14,202 -Rotisserie style. -No kidding. 674 00:58:14,327 --> 00:58:17,788 -Oh, this is delicious. -Well, they also great in stews. 675 00:58:18,039 --> 00:58:22,335 Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean wheat rat stew. 676 00:58:26,589 --> 00:58:30,885 I guess I'll be dining a little different late tomorrow night. 677 00:58:31,636 --> 00:58:35,097 Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. 678 00:58:35,348 --> 00:58:37,558 I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you. 679 00:58:37,808 --> 00:58:42,104 Swamp toast, soup fish, eye tartar. You name it. 680 00:58:43,406 --> 00:58:45,902 I'd like that. 681 00:58:54,011 --> 00:59:01,207 -Ah... , princess? -Yes, Shrek? 682 00:59:02,542 --> 00:59:06,170 I'm a.... I was wondering. 683 00:59:06,420 --> 00:59:10,716 Are you... a... 684 00:59:11,509 --> 00:59:15,805 Are you gonna eat that? 685 00:59:20,351 --> 00:59:23,437 Man, isn't this romantic. Just look at that sunset. 686 00:59:23,688 --> 00:59:27,984 Sunset?! Oh, no. It's late. It's very late. 687 00:59:28,651 --> 00:59:32,321 -What? -Wait a minute. I see what's going on here. 688 00:59:32,572 --> 00:59:34,282 You're afraid of the dark. Aren't you? 689 00:59:34,532 --> 00:59:38,828 Yes, yes. That's it. That's, I'm terrified. You know I'll better go inside. 690 00:59:39,078 --> 00:59:41,581 But don't feel bad, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark too. 691 00:59:41,831 --> 00:59:46,127 Until... Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. 692 00:59:47,128 --> 00:59:51,424 -Good night. -Good night. 693 00:59:54,303 --> 00:59:57,597 Ahh. Now I really see what's going on here. 694 00:59:57,847 --> 00:59:59,599 Oh, what are you talking about. 695 00:59:59,749 --> 01:00:01,976 Hey I don't wanna even hear. Look, I'm an animal and I got instincts. 696 01:00:02,226 --> 01:00:04,437 And I know that you two are digging on each other. I can feel it. 697 01:00:04,687 --> 01:00:08,983 Oh, you're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. 698 01:00:08,983 --> 01:00:11,402 Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the fairemones. 699 01:00:11,652 --> 01:00:14,197 Just go in there and tell her how you feel. 700 01:00:14,447 --> 01:00:18,784 There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that... well you know. 701 01:00:20,203 --> 01:00:23,915 I'm not saying that I do, 'cause I don't. 702 01:00:24,165 --> 01:00:26,751 She's a princess and I'm... 703 01:00:27,001 --> 01:00:29,212 ...an Ogre. 704 01:00:29,462 --> 01:00:32,173 Yeah, an Ogre. 705 01:00:32,423 --> 01:00:36,719 -Hey, where are you going? -To get more firewood. 706 01:00:55,404 --> 01:00:59,700 Princess. Princess Fiona? 707 01:01:04,455 --> 01:01:08,751 Princess, where are you? 708 01:01:12,088 --> 01:01:16,384 Princess? 709 01:01:18,094 --> 01:01:22,390 It's very spooky in here and are we playing little games. 710 01:01:31,732 --> 01:01:34,443 -No, no. -Help! Shrek! Shrek! 711 01:01:34,694 --> 01:01:36,362 -No. -Shrek! -It's ok. It's ok. 712 01:01:36,612 --> 01:01:39,657 -What did you do with the princess? -Donkey, shhh. I'm the princess. 713 01:01:39,907 --> 01:01:44,203 -It's me, in this body. -Oh my god. You ate the princess. 714 01:01:44,662 --> 01:01:46,080 -Can you hear me? -Donkey! 715 01:01:46,330 --> 01:01:49,500 Listen, keep breathing. I'll get you out of there! 716 01:01:49,750 --> 01:01:52,461 Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! 717 01:01:52,712 --> 01:01:57,008 This is me. 718 01:01:59,343 --> 01:02:03,181 Princess? What happened to you? 719 01:02:03,431 --> 01:02:07,059 You're a... different. 720 01:02:07,310 --> 01:02:09,320 -I'm ugly, ok? -Yeah. 721 01:02:09,370 --> 01:02:12,607 Was it something that you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats were a bad idea. 722 01:02:12,857 --> 01:02:18,153 -You are what you eat, I say. -No. I've been this way as long as I can remember. 723 01:02:18,988 --> 01:02:21,407 What do you mean? Look, I've never seen you like this before. 724 01:02:21,657 --> 01:02:25,953 It only happens when the sun goes down. 725 01:02:26,087 --> 01:02:34,083 By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm until you find true love's first kiss. 726 01:02:35,379 --> 01:02:39,675 Then, take love's true form... 727 01:02:40,635 --> 01:02:44,931 -Oh, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. -It's the spell. 728 01:02:46,432 --> 01:02:50,728 When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. 729 01:02:50,978 --> 01:02:55,274 Every night I become this. This horrible ugly beast. 730 01:03:00,029 --> 01:03:04,325 I was placed in a tower to await the day when my true love would rescue me. 731 01:03:04,825 --> 01:03:12,121 That's why I have to marry lord Farquaad tomorrow, before the sun sets and he sees me, like this? 732 01:03:15,002 --> 01:03:19,298 All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. 733 01:03:19,423 --> 01:03:23,719 Wait, wait, I'll not lie, you are ugly. But you only look like this at night. 734 01:03:24,470 --> 01:03:25,888 Shrek's ugly 24/7. 735 01:03:26,138 --> 01:03:31,434 But Donkey, I'm a princess. And this is not how a princess is meant to look. 736 01:03:33,813 --> 01:03:36,816 Princess. How about if you don't marry Farquaad? 737 01:03:37,066 --> 01:03:41,362 I have to. Only my true love's kiss can brake the spell. 738 01:03:41,988 --> 01:03:45,449 But you know, you're kind of an Ogre. 739 01:03:45,700 --> 01:03:48,911 And Shrek... Well you've got a lot in common. 740 01:03:49,161 --> 01:03:50,621 Shrek? 741 01:03:50,872 --> 01:03:57,168 Princess, I... How is it going first of all? Good? Good for me to. I'm ok. 742 01:03:59,130 --> 01:04:02,842 I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty. 743 01:04:03,092 --> 01:04:08,388 And, well, I don't really like it, but I thought you may like it, because you're pretty. 744 01:04:09,098 --> 01:04:13,394 But I like you anyway. A.... 745 01:04:14,020 --> 01:04:18,316 I'm in trouble. Ok, here we go. 746 01:04:24,530 --> 01:04:28,826 Who could ever love a piece so hideous and ugly? Princess and ugly don't go together. 747 01:04:29,452 --> 01:04:35,748 That's why I can't stay here with Shrek, but only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. 748 01:04:38,503 --> 01:04:42,798 Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. 749 01:04:44,342 --> 01:04:46,844 It's the only way to break the spell. 750 01:04:46,904 --> 01:04:48,846 Well, at least you've got tell Shrek the truth. 751 01:04:49,096 --> 01:04:51,891 No, no. You can't breathe the word. No one must ever know. 752 01:04:52,141 --> 01:04:54,602 What's the point of being unable to talk? You got to keep secrets. 753 01:04:54,852 --> 01:04:57,104 Promise you won't tell. Promise! 754 01:04:57,355 --> 01:05:01,651 All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. 755 01:05:01,026 --> 01:05:03,861 You know, before this is over, I'm going to need whole lot of serious therapies. 756 01:05:04,111 --> 01:05:08,407 Look at my eye twitching. 757 01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:34,976 I tell him, I tell him not. 758 01:05:35,184 --> 01:05:38,980 I tell him. I tell him not. 759 01:05:39,230 --> 01:05:40,815 I tell him! 760 01:05:41,065 --> 01:05:45,361 Shrek! Shrek! There's something I want ... 761 01:06:07,049 --> 01:06:10,887 Shrek. Are you all right? 762 01:06:11,137 --> 01:06:13,806 Perfect. Never been better. 763 01:06:14,056 --> 01:06:17,310 I... There's something I have to tell you. 764 01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:21,355 You don't have to tell me anything, princess. I heard enough last night. 765 01:06:21,606 --> 01:06:24,442 -You've heard what I said? -Every word. 766 01:06:24,692 --> 01:06:25,735 I thought you'd understand? 767 01:06:25,985 --> 01:06:31,281 Oh, I understand! Like you said, who could love a hideous, ugly beast! 768 01:06:33,201 --> 01:06:37,496 -I thought that wouldn't matter to you. -Yeah, well, it does. 769 01:06:39,123 --> 01:06:44,219 Ah, right on time. Princess. I brought you a little something. 770 01:06:50,259 --> 01:06:54,555 What I missed? What I missed? 771 01:06:56,933 --> 01:07:01,229 -Princess Fiona. -As promised. Now hand it over. 772 01:07:01,854 --> 01:07:07,150 Very well, Ogre. The deed to your swamp. Cleared out as agreed. Take it and go. 773 01:07:08,069 --> 01:07:11,113 Before I change my mind. 774 01:07:11,364 --> 01:07:15,701 Forgive me princess for startling you, but you startled me. 775 01:07:15,701 --> 01:07:19,455 For I've never seen such a radiant beauty before. 776 01:07:19,705 --> 01:07:24,001 -I am lord Farquaad. -Lord Farquaad? 777 01:07:25,586 --> 01:07:34,582 Oh, no, no... forgive me my lord for I was just saying short... farewell. 778 01:07:35,054 --> 01:07:39,350 Oh. That is so sweet. You don't have to raise good manners on the Ogre. 779 01:07:40,351 --> 01:07:44,647 -It's not like it has feelings. -No. You're right. It doesn't. 780 01:07:46,566 --> 01:07:50,319 Princess Fiona, beautiful fair flawless Fiona, 781 01:07:50,570 --> 01:07:56,866 I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? 782 01:08:02,540 --> 01:08:06,460 Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make... 783 01:08:06,711 --> 01:08:10,173 Excellent! I'll start the plans for tomorrow we wedd... 784 01:08:10,423 --> 01:08:14,302 No! I mean I... Why wait? 785 01:08:14,552 --> 01:08:18,472 Let's get married today. Before sunset. 786 01:08:18,723 --> 01:08:22,268 Oh, anxious are we? You're right. The sooner, the better. 787 01:08:22,518 --> 01:08:25,038 There's so much to do. 788 01:08:25,088 --> 01:08:29,984 There is the camera, the cake, the band, the guests... Captain! Round up some guests. 789 01:08:31,110 --> 01:08:33,446 Farewell Ogre. 790 01:08:33,696 --> 01:08:35,781 Shrek, what are you doing? You let her get away. 791 01:08:36,032 --> 01:08:39,911 -Yeah, so what. -Shrek. There's something about her that you don't know. 792 01:08:40,161 --> 01:08:43,873 -I talked to her last night. She's... -Yeah I know you talked to her last night. 793 01:08:44,123 --> 01:08:48,419 You're great pal, aren't you? Now, if you two are such good friend, why didn't you follow her home? 794 01:08:49,295 --> 01:08:52,423 -Shrek. I want to go with you. -I told you, didn't I? 795 01:08:52,673 --> 01:08:57,969 You're not coming home with me. I live alone. My swamp, me and nobody else! 796 01:08:58,363 --> 01:09:05,059 Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! 797 01:09:06,062 --> 01:09:10,358 -But. I thought... -Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong. 798 01:09:12,902 --> 01:09:17,198 Shrek. 799 01:11:35,795 --> 01:11:38,089 Donkey? 800 01:11:38,339 --> 01:11:39,215 What are you doing? 801 01:11:39,465 --> 01:11:42,552 I was thinking of all the people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. 802 01:11:42,802 --> 01:11:47,698 Well, yeah. But the wall supposed to go around my swamp. Not through it. 803 01:11:47,807 --> 01:11:50,476 It is around your half. See? That's your half and this is my half. 804 01:11:50,726 --> 01:11:53,354 Oh, your half? 805 01:11:53,604 --> 01:11:56,482 Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. 806 01:11:56,732 --> 01:12:01,028 I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head 807 01:12:02,071 --> 01:12:04,365 -Back off! -No. You back off! 808 01:12:04,615 --> 01:12:06,284 -This is my swamp. -Our swamp. 809 01:12:06,534 --> 01:12:08,119 -Let go, Donkey! -You let go! 810 01:12:08,369 --> 01:12:10,204 -Stubborn jackass. -Smelly Ogre. 811 01:12:10,454 --> 01:12:12,373 Fine! 812 01:12:12,623 --> 01:12:14,792 Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you, yet. 813 01:12:15,042 --> 01:12:19,338 -Well, I'm through with you! -Well, you know. You were always me, me, me. 814 01:12:19,672 --> 01:12:21,841 Well, guess what? Now it's my turn! 815 01:12:22,091 --> 01:12:25,761 So you just shut up and pay attention! 816 01:12:25,912 --> 01:12:29,015 You are mean to me, you insult me, you don't appreciate anything that I do! 817 01:12:29,265 --> 01:12:31,475 You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. 818 01:12:31,726 --> 01:12:36,022 Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? 819 01:12:36,147 --> 01:12:39,567 Because that's what friend do. They forgive each other! 820 01:12:39,817 --> 01:12:45,571 Oh, yeah. You're right Donkey. I forgive you for stabbing me in the back! 821 01:12:49,243 --> 01:12:52,580 You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy. You're afraid of your own feelings. 822 01:12:52,830 --> 01:12:56,042 -Go away. -See? There you are, doing it again. Just like you did it to Fiona. 823 01:12:56,292 --> 01:12:58,544 And all she ever do, was like you. Maybe even love you. 824 01:12:58,794 --> 01:13:03,090 Love me? She said I was ugly! A hideous creature. 825 01:13:03,216 --> 01:13:07,512 -I heard that you two were talking. -She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about... 826 01:13:08,262 --> 01:13:11,724 ...somebody else. 827 01:13:11,974 --> 01:13:16,270 She wasn't talking about me? Well then, who was she talking about? 828 01:13:16,979 --> 01:13:20,441 No way, I'm not saying anything. You won't listen to me, right? Right? 829 01:13:20,691 --> 01:13:22,985 -Donkey. -No! 830 01:13:23,236 --> 01:13:27,532 Ok, look. I'm sorry, all right? 831 01:13:33,538 --> 01:13:35,164 I'm sorry. 832 01:13:35,414 --> 01:13:39,710 I guess I am just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. 833 01:13:40,586 --> 01:13:44,882 Can you forgive me? 834 01:13:44,974 --> 01:13:48,135 -Hey, that's the friends are for, right? -Right. 835 01:13:48,386 --> 01:13:51,848 -Friends? -Friends. 836 01:13:52,098 --> 01:13:56,394 So? What did Fiona said about me? 837 01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:00,231 Why are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her. 838 01:14:00,481 --> 01:14:03,985 The wedding! We'll never make it in time! 839 01:14:04,235 --> 01:14:06,237 Never fear! For where there is a will, there is a way. 840 01:14:06,487 --> 01:14:10,783 And I have I way. 841 01:14:13,536 --> 01:14:15,746 Donkey? 842 01:14:15,997 --> 01:14:21,293 -I guess this is just my act of magnetism. -Oh, come here, you. 843 01:14:21,502 --> 01:14:24,463 All right. All right. Don't get all started. No one likes kissass. 844 01:14:24,714 --> 01:14:26,507 All right, hop on. Hold on tight. 845 01:14:26,757 --> 01:14:31,053 I hadn't have a chance to install seat belts, yet. 846 01:15:01,792 --> 01:15:12,088 People of Duloc. We gather here today to bear witness to reunion of our new king... 847 01:15:12,261 --> 01:15:16,557 Excuse me. Could you just skip ahead to "I do's"? 848 01:15:17,225 --> 01:15:20,521 Go on. 849 01:15:22,774 --> 01:15:29,070 Go ahead and have some fun, if we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? 850 01:15:30,404 --> 01:15:32,782 Shrek, wait, wait a minute. You want to do this right, don't you? 851 01:15:33,032 --> 01:15:36,160 -What are you talking about? -It's the line, it's the line you got to wait for. 852 01:15:36,410 --> 01:15:38,704 The priest is going to say: "Speak now or forever hold your peace". 853 01:15:38,955 --> 01:15:41,249 And that's where you say: "I object". 854 01:15:41,499 --> 01:15:44,627 -I don't have time for this. -Wait, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! 855 01:15:44,877 --> 01:15:46,087 Look, you love this woman, don't you? 856 01:15:46,337 --> 01:15:47,296 -Yes. -You want to hold her! 857 01:15:47,547 --> 01:15:49,674 -Yes. -Please her! -Yes! 858 01:15:49,924 --> 01:15:53,052 Then you got to, got to try a little tender love. 859 01:15:53,202 --> 01:15:57,598 -The chicks love that romantic crap. -All right. Cut it out. When does this guy say the line? 860 01:15:58,516 --> 01:16:00,151 We got to check it out. 861 01:16:00,201 --> 01:16:03,271 And as so by the power of these two... 862 01:16:03,521 --> 01:16:05,231 What do you see? 863 01:16:05,481 --> 01:16:09,777 -I now pronounce you... -There they go! 864 01:16:11,729 --> 01:16:15,783 -...he all ready said it. -Oh, for 'the love of pit'. 865 01:16:16,033 --> 01:16:18,619 I object! 866 01:16:18,870 --> 01:16:20,413 Shrek? 867 01:16:20,663 --> 01:16:24,959 Oh, now what does he want? 868 01:16:26,002 --> 01:16:29,964 Hi, everyone. Having a good time, aren't you? 869 01:16:30,214 --> 01:16:31,883 I love Duloc, first of all. Very clean. 870 01:16:32,133 --> 01:16:36,429 -What are you doing here? -Really, it's rude enough being alive, when no one wants you. 871 01:16:37,180 --> 01:16:38,848 But showing up uninvited to a wedding... 872 01:16:39,098 --> 01:16:43,394 -Fiona! I need to talk to you. -Oh, now you wanna talk? 873 01:16:43,394 --> 01:16:46,147 Well it's a little late for that. So if you'll excuse me. 874 01:16:46,397 --> 01:16:48,900 -But you can't marry him! -And why not? 875 01:16:49,150 --> 01:16:53,446 Because, because he's just marrying you so he can be king. 876 01:16:53,446 --> 01:16:56,866 -Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him. -He's not your true love. 877 01:16:57,116 --> 01:17:02,712 -What do you know about true love? -Well, I ...I'm in... 878 01:17:02,788 --> 01:17:06,083 Oh, this is precious. 879 01:17:06,334 --> 01:17:10,630 The Ogre has fallen in love with the princess. 880 01:17:11,172 --> 01:17:15,468 Laugh. 881 01:17:19,722 --> 01:17:23,559 Shrek. Is this true? 882 01:17:23,809 --> 01:17:31,105 Who cares. It's preposterious. Fiona, my love, we gonna kiss away for our happily ever after. Now kiss me! 883 01:17:37,198 --> 01:17:41,494 By night one way, by day another. 884 01:17:42,503 --> 01:17:46,999 I wanted to show you before. 885 01:18:08,229 --> 01:18:12,525 Well. That explains a lot. 886 01:18:13,409 --> 01:18:18,905 Oh. It's disgusting. Guards, guards. I order you to get them out of my sight. 887 01:18:19,699 --> 01:18:23,995 -Now! Get them! Get them, both! -No! 888 01:18:25,121 --> 01:18:29,417 This marriage is minding, and that makes me king. See? See? 889 01:18:29,500 --> 01:18:30,835 -Shrek! -No. 890 01:18:31,085 --> 01:18:35,381 -Don't just stand there, you dogs. -Get out of my way. 891 01:18:43,472 --> 01:18:46,184 No! Shrek! 892 01:18:46,434 --> 01:18:48,728 -And as for you my wife. -Fiona! 893 01:18:48,978 --> 01:18:53,274 I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! 894 01:18:54,192 --> 01:18:58,487 I will have order. I will have potential. I will have... 895 01:19:03,951 --> 01:19:08,247 All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here and I'm not afraid to use it. 896 01:19:08,623 --> 01:19:12,919 I'm a donkey on the edge! 897 01:19:14,295 --> 01:19:18,591 Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they? 898 01:19:20,009 --> 01:19:23,346 Go ahead Shrek. 899 01:19:23,596 --> 01:19:27,892 -Fiona? -Yes, Shrek? 900 01:19:28,226 --> 01:19:32,522 I love you. 901 01:19:32,813 --> 01:19:35,358 Really? 902 01:19:35,608 --> 01:19:39,028 Really, really. 903 01:19:39,278 --> 01:19:43,574 I love you too. 904 01:19:50,373 --> 01:19:54,669 A time for true love's first kiss... 905 01:20:29,328 --> 01:20:33,624 Fiona? 906 01:20:34,208 --> 01:20:38,504 Fiona? Are you all right? 907 01:20:40,381 --> 01:20:44,343 Yes. But I don't understand. 908 01:20:44,594 --> 01:20:48,890 I'm supposed to be beautiful. 909 01:20:49,599 --> 01:20:53,895 But you are beautiful. 910 01:20:53,936 --> 01:20:58,232 I was hoping this would be a happy ending. 911 01:21:44,054 --> 01:21:47,950 God bless us, everyone. 912 01:22:51,888 --> 01:22:56,184 The End.