1
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,977
Last orders, please.
2
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,982
- Shaun.
- Yeah?
3
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,200
Do you see what I'm saying?
4
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,744
Yeah, totally.
5
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:12,702
I know he's your best friend,
but you do live with him.
6
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,158
I know.
7
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,039
It's not that I don't like Ed.
8
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:18,416
Ed, it's not that I don't like you.
9
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,088
It's all right.
10
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,505
- It'd just be nice if we could...
- Fuck.
11
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:27,213
- ...spend a bit more time together.
- Bollocks.
12
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:30,345
- Just the two of us.
- Cock it.
13
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:33,224
It's just with Ed here, it's no wonder
I always bring my flatmates out,
14
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,304
and then that only
exacerbates things.
15
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:36,980
What do you mean?
16
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:39,649
Well, you guys
hardly get on, do you?
17
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,523
No, what does "exacerbate" mean?
18
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,105
It means to make things worse.
19
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,689
Right, right.
20
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:49,819
Well, I mean, it's not that I don't
like David and Di, you know.
21
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,699
Guys, it's not that I don't like you.
22
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,405
It's all right.
23
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,957
And it's not that I don't want to
spend time with you, 'cause I do.
24
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:59,037
It's just Ed doesn't have too many friends.
25
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,544
Can I get any of you
cunts a drink?
26
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,719
- Anybody?
- No, thank you.
27
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:13,801
I know friends are important to Shaun,
28
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,136
but you do actually have to set
29
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,095
some quality time aside for yourselves.
30
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,477
Yeah, I mean Daffs is always taking me
31
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,024
to see these listed buildings,
32
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,773
and, you know, I'm always
dragging him to the theater.
33
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,024
I'm not so hot on theater.
34
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,400
Well, how about a nice meal?
35
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,732
It's your anniversary
soon, isn't it?
36
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:28,861
It was last week.
37
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:31,443
Oh. Did you do
anything special?
38
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,904
- We came here.
- Shaun. Hog lumps.
39
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,831
Shaun, what I'm trying to say is
40
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,830
I need something more,
41
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,037
more than spending every
night in the Winchester.
42
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,497
I want to get out there
and do more interesting stuff.
43
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,627
I want to live a little.
44
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,835
I want you to want
to want to do it, too.
45
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,673
Listen to me. I'm beginning
to sound like your mum.
46
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,177
Not that I'd know
what she sounds like.
47
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,974
You still haven't met his mum?
48
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,097
Not yet.
49
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,776
Don't you get along
with your mum, Shaun?
50
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,523
No. It's not that I don't
get on with her...
51
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,022
Are you ashamed
by your mum, Shaun?
52
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,520
No, I love my mum.
53
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,272
- I love his mum.
- Ed!
54
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,445
- She's like butter.
- Ed!
55
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,521
- Shaun!
- Guys.
56
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,776
- Shaun.
- Liz.
57
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,359
Look, I understand what you're
trying to say, okay, and I agree.
58
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,195
We should get out there.
We'll start tomorrow.
59
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,495
All right,
I'll book a restaurant,
60
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,744
you know, the place
that does all the fish.
61
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,872
Just the two of us.
62
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,124
Things will change, I promise.
63
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,623
Really, Shaun?
64
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,834
Time, gentlemen.
65
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,471
Shaun?
66
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,366
Player two has entered the game.
67
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,584
Haven't you got work?
68
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,246
Player two has left the game.
69
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:03,020
You do know the front door
was open again last night.
70
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,646
- I'm not saying it was you.
- I know, man.
71
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,898
- I'm saying it was Ed.
- Right.
72
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,860
I can't live like this.
73
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,658
I mean, just look
at the state of it.
74
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,735
- We're not students anymore.
- Pete, just...
75
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:19,866
I mean, it's not like
he even brings
76
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:20,992
any real money into the house.
77
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,493
Well, he brings a bit.
78
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:23,915
What, dealing drugs?
79
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,333
Oh, he sells a bit of weed
80
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,660
every now and again, you know.
81
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,915
You've sold puff.
82
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,793
Yeah, once.
At college. To you.
83
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,716
Well, look, I've known him since
primary school, you know.
84
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,419
I like having him around,
he's a laugh.
85
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,847
What, because he can impersonate
an orangutan? Fuck-a-doodle-doo.
86
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,265
Oh, leave him alone.
87
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,970
All right, I admit he can be
pretty funny on occasion.
88
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,100
Like that time we stayed up all
night drinking Apple Schnapps
89
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,226
and playing Tekken 2.
90
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,602
Oh, yeah.
91
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,359
When was that?
92
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,608
That was five years ago.
When's he going home?
93
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,525
Hey, man, listen...
Top left.
94
00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,609
Uh-huh.
95
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,321
- I was gonna say... Reload.
- I'm on it.
96
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,077
- Since... Nice shot.
- Thanks.
97
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,826
Two seconds.
98
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,872
- You all right, Noodle?
- Hello, mate, got anything?
99
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,299
- No, man.
- But Eball says you was holding.
100
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:17,010
- I ain't got nothing.
- What? You ain't got nothing at all?
101
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,305
I've only got a Henry meself.
All right, laters.
102
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,096
- Listen...
- Ed,
103
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,974
since you're not working
at the moment,
104
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,602
- could you please clean up a bit?
- Yep.
105
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:30,807
And if you play
the answer machine,
106
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,360
could you take down everyone's
messages, not just your own?
107
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,652
Yep.
108
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,571
It's not that taxing, is it?
109
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,024
Writing something
on a little scrap of paper?
110
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,109
- Nope.
- Right.
111
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,499
- Dom, hi...
- Come on, it was pretty funny.
112
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,274
Will you do what he said though?
113
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:51,662
I ain't doing nothing for him.
114
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,713
Well, do it for me, then.
115
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,751
I'm sorry, Shaun.
116
00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,719
It's all right.
117
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,343
No, no. I'm sorry, Shaun.
118
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,760
Oh!
119
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,270
Oh, my God, that's rotten.
120
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,066
I'll stop doing them
when you stop laughing.
121
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:12,966
I am not laughing, I'm going.
122
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,772
- Get that.
- You get it.
123
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,276
Hello, Shaun, it's me.
124
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,108
Look, I'm gonna be
a bit tied up today,
125
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,865
so when you book the table, can you
make it 8:00 rather than 7:00?
126
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,617
I'll try you at work.
Bye, bye, bye.
127
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,289
Hey! You're dead.
128
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,970
Spare some change,
please, mister?
129
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,342
Yeah.
130
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,723
Watch out.
Are you blind?
131
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,403
The American deep space probe Omega Six,
132
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,984
due to return to earth this weekend,
133
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,828
has unexpectedly re-entered Earth's
atmosphere over south-east England
134
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:10,203
and broken apart over what's
believed to be a populated area.
135
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:26,715
Nelson?
136
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,427
Nelson?
137
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,232
Hello, my friend.
No beer today?
138
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,435
No, it's a bit early for me.
139
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:53,120
Gather round, everyone.
Gather round, please.
140
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,246
Gather round.
141
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,953
Now, as well as
Mr. Sloman being off today,
142
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:00,917
I'm afraid Ash is feeling a
little bit under the weather.
143
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,468
So, I will be
taking charge, as the...
144
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,886
Oldest.
145
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,884
Senior Staff Member.
146
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,261
So, if we can all just pull
together, I know that...
147
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,802
Hello? Hello, mate.
148
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,685
- Noel...
- I was totally munted last night.
149
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:19,769
Yeah, I spoke to him.
He's only got Henry.
150
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,689
- All right, mate. Laters.
- Laters.
151
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,780
Continue.
152
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:33,990
Thank you.
153
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:40,255
As Mr. Sloman always says, "There's no
'I' in team but there is an 'I' in pie."
154
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,458
"In... There's an 'I'
in meat pie."
155
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,917
The anagram of "meat"
is "team."
156
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:44,967
I don't know what
he's talking about.
157
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:48,263
Look, that's it. And, Noel, phones off,
yeah? It's not a social gathering.
158
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,215
All right,
keep your hair on, Grandad.
159
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:54,849
Hey, hey, whoa. I'm 29 for Christ's sakes.
How old are you? 20? 21?
160
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,180
Seventeen.
161
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,730
Hey, well...
162
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,850
Look, I know you don't
wanna be here forever.
163
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,107
I got things
I wanna do with my life.
164
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,529
When?
165
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,990
You got red on you.
166
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,820
Hello, mate.
167
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,908
This one comes with a basic,
sort of, digital package.
168
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,870
You've got your lifestyle
channels there, a bit of Trisha.
169
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,919
You've got entertainment...
I don't know what that is.
170
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:29,755
News. All the basic
news channels.
171
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,803
...coming after me like this...
172
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,554
...believed to be caused by exposure...
173
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,011
- Shaun.
- Yeah, I'm with customers.
174
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,138
It's your dad.
175
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:42,184
He's not my dad,
he's my stepdad.
176
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,612
Philip.
177
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,446
Shaun.
178
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,448
I trust you haven't forgotten
about tomorrow.
179
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,332
- No.
- Your bi-monthly visit.
180
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,660
No, I haven't forgotten.
181
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:00,868
Perhaps you could
bring the flowers
182
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,330
you forgot to bring Barbara
on Mother's Day.
183
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:04,460
I was gonna.
184
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:07,588
And not a cheap posy
from a garage forecourt.
185
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,260
I wasn't gonna.
186
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:15,175
Well, we look forward
to seeing you tomorrow, then.
187
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,475
Okay.
188
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,144
You've got red on you.
189
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,688
I thought you said this
wasn't a social gathering?
190
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:29,897
What?
191
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:32,200
How comes you're allowed
to speak to your dad?
192
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:35,745
A, he's not my dad, okay?
He's my stepdad.
193
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,869
And B, it was an emergency.
194
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,701
What, like buying
your mum some flowers?
195
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,536
Noel, no matter
what you might think, okay,
196
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,963
I do not find it difficult
197
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,040
to keep my work
and my social life separate.
198
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,421
Shaun. It's Liz for you.
199
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,260
- Hello.
- Hello, it's me.
200
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,434
- Hello.
- Just quickly, did you get my message?
201
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,555
Yep.
202
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,808
- Oh, so it's all okay, then?
- Yep.
203
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,407
8:00, the place
that does all the fish?
204
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:03,689
Yeah.
205
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,735
Oh, cool, well, that's great.
Just ring me later.
206
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,358
- Goodbye, Liz.
- Bye. Bye, bye, bye.
207
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:14,325
Liz from Head Office.
It's nothing to panic about.
208
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,698
Sir? Sir?
209
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,452
Sorry. They're for my mum.
210
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:29,299
"To a wonderful mum"
or "Pow! Super Mum"?
211
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,752
- The first one.
- Right.
212
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,430
- Oh, my God!
- Jesus!
213
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,382
- Shaun!
- Yvonne.
214
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,645
- How are you doing?
- Surviving.
215
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,142
So, are you living round here?
216
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,313
Um, yeah, are you?
217
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,312
Yeah, I've just bought
a place, actually.
218
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:31,486
- Bought?
- I know, bit grown up, eh?
219
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,734
- Are you still with...
- Liz.
220
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,407
That's great.
Glad somebody made it.
221
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,155
How long's that been now?
222
00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:41,113
It's three years ago
last week, actually.
223
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,572
Did you do anything special?
224
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,657
Well, we're going out
for a meal tonight, actually.
225
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,414
Oh, anywhere nice?
226
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,253
Yeah.
227
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,839
Come on!
228
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,724
- Are you gonna thank me, then?
- For what?
229
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,176
Tidying up.
230
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,886
Well, it doesn't look that tidy.
231
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,596
Well, I had a few beers
when I finished.
232
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,398
- Hello, Fulci's. Can you hold, please?
- Yeah.
233
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,852
- Do you want your messages?
- What?
234
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,483
Well, your mum rang about
going round tomorrow night.
235
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,486
And then Liz rang about the two
of you eating out tonight.
236
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,326
And then your mum rang back to see
if I wanted to eat her out tonight.
237
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,703
- What?
- Hello, Fulci's.
238
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,200
Yeah, hi.
239
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,281
I know this is really
short notice and everything,
240
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,869
but could you possibly do me a table
for two for tonight at about 8:00?
241
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,545
No, sorry, we just gave
away the last table.
242
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:32,622
God!
243
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,385
Wasn't true about your mum.
244
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,429
What am I gonna do?
Where are we gonna go?
245
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:43,390
- The Winchester.
- Don't be stupid! They don't do food.
246
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,059
There's a Breville out back.
John'll do you a toastie.
247
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,386
Ed, this is serious!
248
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,306
- Hello.
- Hello, it's me.
249
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,390
Hello.
250
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,441
So, what's the plan, then?
251
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,106
Yeah, there's been a bit of a
mix-up with the table, babe.
252
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,361
What do you mean?
253
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,158
They're... They're full up.
254
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,862
But I thought you said
it was all okay!
255
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,162
Yeah.
256
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:08,416
You didn't book it,
did you, Shaun?
257
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,492
No.
258
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,953
So, what is the plan, then?
259
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,751
The Winchester?
260
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,595
Hello.
261
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:25,846
Dianne, can you
let me in, please?
262
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,973
I'm not sure
this is the best time, Shaun.
263
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,099
Oh, come on.
264
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,476
Lizzie doesn't want to see you,
Shaun. Go away.
265
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:32,603
Just open the door!
266
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,652
She doesn't want
to see you, Shaun.
267
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,103
What do you want me to do?
Do you want me to go...
268
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,586
Do you want me
to climb up the wall,
269
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,364
come through the window?
'Cause I will.
270
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,532
You're not coming in.
271
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:45,074
- I... All right. See you in a minute.
- Don't...
272
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,258
Hi, it's me again.
273
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:02,132
Liz, can we just talk about this?
You know, let's go out.
274
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:04,464
- What, to the Winchester?
- Well... Do you want to?
275
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:05,924
No, I don't fucking want to!
276
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,350
Okay. I just thought, you know...
277
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,145
It's not the only place
in the world, Shaun!
278
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:12,893
Well, we could go to The Shepherd's,
then, they do Thai in there now.
279
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,349
I'm going out with David and Di.
280
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,433
Well, let's all go together.
281
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:16,733
What, you hang out
with my friends?
282
00:16:16,734 --> 00:16:19,445
- Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?
- Well, that's harsh.
283
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:22,941
- Your words.
- I did not call Dianne a failed actress.
284
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,367
Let's just go out, you know.
285
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,989
Let's just go out somewhere
and have a laugh.
286
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,661
Things'll be fine, I promise.
287
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,282
You promised you'd stop
smoking when I did.
288
00:16:29,283 --> 00:16:31,157
- What...
- You promised you'd go back to the gym!
289
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,833
- I...
- You promised you'd try drinking red wine
290
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:33,876
- instead of beer!
- Well...
291
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,203
You promised you'd come
on holiday with me.
292
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,629
We went to Greece, didn't we?
293
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,126
We met in Greece.
294
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,834
- At a rave.
- It's just not the same.
295
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,510
You promised things
would change.
296
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:43,757
You promised
you'd get us free cable.
297
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,509
- I'm working on that.
- Okay.
298
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,511
Well, I can give up smoking.
I can give up whenever I want.
299
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,684
Look, see. Don't need them.
300
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,979
What was the next one?
301
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,681
It's not enough, Shaun.
302
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,858
Basically, I'd say
your nine lives are up, Shaun.
303
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,739
Get fucked, four-eyes!
304
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:09,445
Why don't you go out with her,
you love her so much?
305
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,497
What do you mean by that?
306
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,541
The devastation really is extensive.
307
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,245
It really is a total mess.
308
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,797
I don't know what he meant by that.
309
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,961
Got you these.
310
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,720
To a wonderful mum?
311
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:36,306
Yeah.
312
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:40,394
Yeah, that's because
I thought it would be funny
313
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:43,070
because of what you said last
night about me, you know,
314
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,505
you don't wanna be
my mum and that,
315
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,642
and it's just a little joke.
316
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:48,993
It's something I just thought
of, spur of the moment.
317
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,663
- They're for your mum, aren't they?
- Yeah.
318
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,081
Smooth.
319
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,159
Look, if I don't do something,
320
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,509
I'm gonna end up in that pub,
321
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,757
every night,
for the rest of my life,
322
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,679
like those other sad old fuckers,
drinking myself to death,
323
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,132
wondering what
the hell happened.
324
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:15,015
What do you mean,
"Do something"?
325
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,129
Fuck her!
326
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:54,763
You got your pint. You got your pig snacks.
What more do you want?
327
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:59,351
Oh. Your favorite monkey?
328
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,392
Shall I do Clyde?
329
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,077
See, I knew you'd get over her.
330
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:30,177
Who the hell put this on?
331
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,754
It's on random.
332
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,258
Ah, for fuck's sake.
John, yes, please, mate.
333
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,265
You know what we
should do tomorrow?
334
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:45,852
Keep drinking. We'll have a
Bloody Mary first thing.
335
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,135
Have a bite at the King's Head,
336
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,817
couple at The Little Princess,
337
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,773
we'll stagger back here
and bang,
338
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,483
we're back at the bar for shots.
339
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:54,318
How's that
for a slice of fried gold?
340
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,825
- No.
- Come on, man.
341
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,700
Talk to me.
342
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,706
She said if she stayed with me,
343
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,458
she'd end up
coming in here, every night,
344
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:08,212
for the rest of her life, like these sad
old fuckers, drinking herself to death,
345
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,133
wondering what
the hell happened.
346
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:14,180
That is harsh. These are rich,
interesting characters.
347
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:15,507
Like who?
348
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:24,099
Snakehips. Always surrounded by women.
He's a bigamist.
349
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:27,401
Strangled his first wife
with a draught excluder.
350
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,854
And he invented
the mobile disco.
351
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:32,690
Well, what about her, then?
352
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,951
Cockacidal maniac.
353
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,289
She's an ex-porn star.
She's done it all.
354
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:44,039
They say she starred in the world's
first interracial hardcore loop.
355
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,791
Café Au Lait.
356
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,376
Pour vous.
357
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,469
Yeah. What about John, then?
358
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:54,841
He's North London Mafia.
359
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,965
It's true, Big Al says so.
360
00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:01,769
Yeah, well, Big Al also says
dogs can't look up.
361
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:05,519
Think about it. Handy with a blade.
Gruff demeanor.
362
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,442
Bernie, the trophy wife.
He's connected.
363
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,110
Why do you think
there's a rifle above the bar?
364
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,154
'Cause the pub's
called the Winchester.
365
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,526
Exactly.
366
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,609
See, you don't need Liz
to have a good time.
367
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,285
Oh, Ed, don't, man.
368
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:22,866
No. Look at me.
Can I just say one more thing?
369
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,068
I'm not gonna say, you know,
370
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,039
"There's plenty more fish
in the sea."
371
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,371
I'm not gonna say,
"if you love her let her go."
372
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,752
And I'm not gonna bombard you
with clichés.
373
00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:32,959
But what I will say is this,
374
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:35,908
"it's not
the end of the world."
375
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,852
Sorry, we're closed.
376
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,307
Pisshead.
377
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,819
♪ - White lines ♪
♪ - White lines ♪
378
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,491
♪ - Visions, dreams of passion ♪
♪ - Visions, dreams of passion ♪
379
00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,944
♪ - Blowing through my mind ♪
♪ - Blowing through my mind ♪
380
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:01,153
♪ - And all the while ♪
♪ - And all the while ♪
381
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:02,238
♪ - I think of you. ♪
♪ - I think of you. ♪
382
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,573
♪ - High... ♪
♪ - High... ♪
383
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,410
What's wrong, haven't you had your tea?
384
00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:09,336
Something Something
385
00:22:09,411 --> 00:22:10,754
♪ - ...of a phenomenon, baby ♪
♪ - ...of a phenomenon, baby ♪
386
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,673
♪ - Telling my body to come along ♪
♪ - Telling my body to come along ♪
387
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,672
♪ - 'Cause white lines ♪
♪ - 'Cause white lines ♪
388
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,594
♪ - Blow away ♪
♪ - Blow away ♪
389
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:21,014
♪ Blow ♪
390
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:26,020
♪ Get higher, baby ♪
391
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,347
♪ Get higher, girl ♪
392
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,705
- What's he doing?
- He should say "Bass."
393
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:42,198
Or "Freeze."
394
00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,621
What a tit.
395
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:54,882
You wanna dance?
396
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:04,971
- Hey, don't scratch it!
- Wait.
397
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:08,763
That was the second album
I ever bought!
398
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:11,224
It's 4:00 in the fucking morning!
399
00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:12,399
It's Saturday!
400
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:14,192
No, it's not.
It's fucking Sunday,
401
00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:16,508
and I've got to go to fucking
work in four fucking hours,
402
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:20,066
because every other fucker in my
fucking department is fucking ill!
403
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:23,403
Now can you see
why I'm so fucking angry?
404
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,158
- Fuck, yeah!
- Hey.
405
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,581
Pete, look, I'm...
You know, I'm sorry.
406
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:29,533
We just...
We've had a couple of drinks.
407
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,836
We split up with Liz tonight.
408
00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:35,456
Just keep it down, yeah?
409
00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:37,799
Prick.
410
00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:41,171
- What was that?
- Nothing.
411
00:23:42,046 --> 00:23:43,423
No, no, no, come on, stop it.
We're friends!
412
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,633
He's not my friend.
He's a fucking idiot!
413
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:46,876
What's that supposed to mean?
414
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,103
It means,
why don't you fuck off?
415
00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:50,378
You wanna live like an animal,
416
00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:52,765
go and live in the shed,
you thick fuck!
417
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,100
Oh, leave him alone!
418
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:56,231
Stop defending him, Shaun!
419
00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:58,062
All he ever does
is hold you back!
420
00:23:58,145 --> 00:23:59,772
Or does it make your life
easier having someone around
421
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:02,404
who's more of a loser than you?
422
00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:03,780
What's that supposed to mean?
423
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,702
You know what I mean.
424
00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:08,531
I assume it was Liz
who did the dumping?
425
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:12,626
Sort your fucking
life out, mate!
426
00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,954
What's up with your hand, man?
427
00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,915
I got mugged
on the way home from work.
428
00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:18,999
By who?
429
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:21,177
I don't know, some crackheads or something.
One of them bit me.
430
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:22,468
Why did they bite you?
431
00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:25,423
I don't know.
I didn't stop to ask them!
432
00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:27,679
Now, I've got
a splitting headache
433
00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:30,637
and your stupid
Hip-Hop isn't helping.
434
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,097
And the front door
is open again!
435
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:38,853
It's not Hip-Hop.
It's Electro. Prick.
436
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,280
Next time I see him, he's dead.
437
00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:54,664
Hello, Shaun, it's me.
438
00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,336
Look, I'm gonna be
a bit tied up today,
439
00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:59,131
so when you book the table, can you
make it 8:00 rather than 7:00?
440
00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:01,584
I'll try you at work.
Bye, bye, bye.
441
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:06,135
Hello, pickle. It's me, Mum.
442
00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:07,556
Dad said he saw you
in town today
443
00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:09,008
and mentioned you might be
visiting tomorrow,
444
00:25:09,091 --> 00:25:10,559
which would be lovely.
445
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:13,433
Will you be bringing Elizabeth
with you this time?
446
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,355
Only, we can't wait
to meet her finally,
447
00:25:15,431 --> 00:25:20,858
and also, I was wondering if she
wanted anything special for lunch.
448
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,655
'Cause these days
lots of people don't eat meat.
449
00:25:39,246 --> 00:25:41,294
Do you want anything
from the shop?
450
00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:42,670
Cornetto.
451
00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:54,037
Nelson, have you got any papers?
452
00:26:55,739 --> 00:27:00,495
Nelson? I haven't even...
I owe you about fifteen p.
453
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,370
Oh, dear.
454
00:27:38,031 --> 00:27:39,624
Sorry, I haven't got any change.
455
00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:42,544
I didn't even have enough
at the fucking shop, so...
456
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:43,916
Oh, dear.
457
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,641
Although no-one official
is prepared to comment,
458
00:27:56,717 --> 00:27:59,470
religious groups are calling
it Judgment Day. There's...
459
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,272
...panic on the streets of London...
460
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:04,691
...as an increasing number
of reports of...
461
00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:06,188
...serious attacks on...
462
00:28:06,268 --> 00:28:07,736
people, who are literally being...
463
00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:08,983
...eaten alive.
464
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:11,235
Eyewitness reports are sketchy.
465
00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:13,409
One unifying detail seems to be
466
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:16,362
that the attackers in many
instances, appear to be...
467
00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:17,742
...dead excited to have with us here,
468
00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:19,949
a sensational chart-topping...
469
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:24,162
...or ideological connection between
those committing the atrocities,
470
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:25,837
and perhaps, more alarmingly...
471
00:28:25,913 --> 00:28:28,792
- There's a girl in the garden.
- ...their behavior.
472
00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:30,296
What?
473
00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:33,420
In the garden, there is a girl.
474
00:28:33,503 --> 00:28:35,551
...the armed forces
will be called in
475
00:28:35,631 --> 00:28:38,054
to provide back-up
and assistance.
476
00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:40,556
Scientists are still
trying to establish
477
00:28:40,636 --> 00:28:43,480
the cause and nature
of the phenomenon.
478
00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:48,110
Excuse me.
479
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,194
Excuse me.
480
00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:57,448
Hello.
481
00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:03,875
What are you doing?
482
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:24,513
Oh, my God.
483
00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:28,608
She's so drunk.
484
00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:34,569
How much have you had, love?
485
00:29:34,648 --> 00:29:36,195
Oh, I think she likes you.
486
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:37,276
Shut up.
487
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:38,952
I think she wants a cuddle.
488
00:29:39,027 --> 00:29:41,308
Listen, I'm serious. I've just
come out of a relationship.
489
00:29:43,073 --> 00:29:45,121
- Ed, do something.
- Wait there.
490
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,747
- Ed!
- Two seconds.
491
00:29:46,827 --> 00:29:49,706
Jeez, look, I'm really flattered and
everything, really, but I just...
492
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:54,134
And hold it there.
493
00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:57,383
Ed, just get her
off me! Jesus!
494
00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:01,805
Whoa. What's up with her eyes?
What's up with her eyes?
495
00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:05,353
Now seriously, Mary,
I'm warning you, okay.
496
00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:07,773
I'm gonna have to get physical.
I mean it!
497
00:30:07,848 --> 00:30:10,567
This is it. I'm gonna...
Look, just fuck off!
498
00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:46,099
I think we should go
back inside.
499
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:47,395
Okay.
500
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:56,946
Shaun, what's going on?
501
00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:59,024
Shit, it's engaged.
502
00:30:59,107 --> 00:31:00,324
How about an ambulance?
503
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,947
It's engaged, Ed.
504
00:31:03,236 --> 00:31:04,453
Fire engine?
505
00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:06,702
It's one number, Ed,
and it's busy. Okay?
506
00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,705
What do you want
a fire engine for, anyway?
507
00:31:08,784 --> 00:31:11,207
Anything with flashing lights,
you know.
508
00:31:11,286 --> 00:31:13,004
Are they still out there?
509
00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:23,014
Yeah. What do you think
we should do?
510
00:31:24,174 --> 00:31:25,721
Have a sit down?
511
00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:28,554
There are reports
of chaos on the motorways
512
00:31:28,637 --> 00:31:31,686
as thousands of people attempt
to flee the cities.
513
00:31:31,765 --> 00:31:35,395
The M1, the M3, M4, M6...
514
00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:36,899
Do you think
this is the same thing?
515
00:31:36,978 --> 00:31:40,573
...and M68 are all at a standstill.
516
00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:42,617
The Home Office
has issued a statement
517
00:31:42,692 --> 00:31:44,945
urging people to stay
in their homes
518
00:31:45,028 --> 00:31:46,621
and await further instruction.
519
00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:49,449
Ensure all residences are secure
520
00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:54,505
with all doors and windows firmly
locked and barricaded. Police...
521
00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:58,087
Fucking hell!
522
00:31:58,166 --> 00:32:00,544
Oh, for God's sake.
Oh, he's got an arm off!
523
00:32:00,627 --> 00:32:02,095
Get him!
524
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:10,470
Yeah.
525
00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:18,396
More reports just in
confirm that in all cases
526
00:32:18,478 --> 00:32:21,322
the attackers seem slow
and shambolic.
527
00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:23,404
I'm gonna shut the front door.
528
00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,281
...receive information
from the Home Office,
529
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,955
regarding the best way
to neutralize the attackers.
530
00:32:29,030 --> 00:32:34,127
In the meantime, contact with these
assailants is highly inadvisable.
531
00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:35,294
Did you see his head go?
532
00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:36,371
If you're confronted
533
00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:37,855
and have the opportunity to escape,
534
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,008
it is suggested that you do so
as quickly as possible.
535
00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:42,085
We should get out there.
536
00:32:42,169 --> 00:32:43,716
No, no, no, no, we should stay inside.
537
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:45,138
Come on, we can take them.
538
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:46,305
But the man said
to stay indoors.
539
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:47,507
Oh, fuck the man.
540
00:32:47,591 --> 00:32:48,638
Look, as long
as they're out there
541
00:32:48,717 --> 00:32:50,219
and we're in here, we're safe.
542
00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:52,854
...officials suggest that
in extreme circumstances,
543
00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:54,647
the attackers can be stopped
544
00:32:54,723 --> 00:32:58,193
by removing the head
or destroying the brain.
545
00:32:58,268 --> 00:33:04,071
I'll repeat that, by removing the
head or destroying the brain.
546
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:11,156
Hey.
547
00:33:14,910 --> 00:33:16,537
Aim for the head.
548
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:37,520
- Well, now what?
- We'll have to get more stuff.
549
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:39,351
- What's in the shed?
- I don't know. It's locked.
550
00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:40,981
- Why is it locked?
- It's always been locked.
551
00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:43,405
Well, you know, we're gonna...
552
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:44,481
Oh.
553
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:47,613
No, no, that's the second
album I ever bought! Don't!
554
00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:55,709
Now, some of these
are limited...
555
00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:57,252
What was that?
What was that?
556
00:33:57,327 --> 00:33:58,624
I think it was Blue Monday.
557
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,330
Man, that was an original pressing.
558
00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:01,915
Oh, for fuck's sake.
559
00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:04,383
- Purple Rain?
- No.
560
00:34:04,459 --> 00:34:05,631
- Sign O' The Times?
- Definitely not.
561
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:07,883
- The Batman soundtrack?
- Throw it.
562
00:34:10,632 --> 00:34:13,135
- Okay. Oh, Dire Straits?
- Throw it.
563
00:34:17,639 --> 00:34:19,733
- The Stone Roses?
- No.
564
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:21,810
- Second Coming?
- I like it.
565
00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:24,404
- Sade?
- That's Liz's.
566
00:34:24,479 --> 00:34:26,607
- Yeah, but she did dump you.
- Oh.
567
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,158
Oh, fuck this. I'm going to the shed.
568
00:34:29,234 --> 00:34:31,282
I thought you said
it was locked.
569
00:34:41,830 --> 00:34:43,582
Which one do you want?
Girl or bloke?
570
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,212
The first one.
571
00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:06,480
...in all cases, people receiving bites
572
00:35:06,563 --> 00:35:08,861
have experienced
headaches and nausea,
573
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,034
and developed symptoms
similar to those displayed...
574
00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:12,782
- You've got red on you.
- ...by their attackers.
575
00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:15,159
If you know someone
who has been bitten,
576
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:17,115
it is absolutely essential
577
00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:19,246
that you isolate them immediately.
578
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:24,464
The public are being strongly
advised not to approach anyone...
579
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:25,791
Pete?
580
00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:29,840
Pete?
581
00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:32,547
- Why don't we just go up?
- Oh, no, don't go up there.
582
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:35,350
- Why not?
- Because A, he might be one of them.
583
00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:37,803
And B, he might still be annoyed.
584
00:35:38,887 --> 00:35:40,059
Pete?
585
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:42,891
Maybe he went in to work.
586
00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:46,148
How come he didn't drive?
His keys are still here.
587
00:35:46,227 --> 00:35:47,353
Well, maybe he got a lift.
588
00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:49,064
He said he wasn't
feeling very well.
589
00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:50,820
Pete?
590
00:35:50,899 --> 00:35:52,071
Prick!
591
00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:55,575
- He's not in.
- He's not in.
592
00:35:56,237 --> 00:35:58,706
- You got a fag?
- No, I've given up.
593
00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:00,750
- Since when?
- Since...
594
00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:07,124
Come on, babe.
Oh, she's engaged.
595
00:36:07,207 --> 00:36:08,767
- That was quick.
- Ed, this is serious!
596
00:36:09,918 --> 00:36:11,386
- Liz!
- Shaun.
597
00:36:11,461 --> 00:36:14,340
Mum! Hi. I was gonna call you.
Are you okay?
598
00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:16,516
- Yes.
- Yeah, well, are you sure?
599
00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:19,014
Some men tried to get
into the house.
600
00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:20,687
Well, are they still there?
601
00:36:20,762 --> 00:36:23,015
I'm not sure.
We've shut the curtains.
602
00:36:23,098 --> 00:36:24,520
Well, did you try the police?
603
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:26,727
Well, I thought about it.
604
00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:28,290
Well, are you okay?
Did they hurt you?
605
00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:30,822
No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
606
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:34,902
- Mum?
- Well, they were a bit bitey.
607
00:36:36,861 --> 00:36:38,408
Mum, have you been bitten?
608
00:36:38,488 --> 00:36:40,741
No, but Philip has.
609
00:36:40,824 --> 00:36:41,871
Oh, okay.
610
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:43,577
- Has she been bitten?
- No, Philip has.
611
00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:45,708
- Oh, okay.
- Listen, Mum, what sort of state is he in?
612
00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:49,132
Oh, he's fine.
Bit under the weather.
613
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:50,880
- I see.
- What's the deal?
614
00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:52,256
We may have to kill my stepdad.
615
00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:53,336
Listen, Mum, sit tight, okay?
616
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:55,172
You're not safe there.
We're coming over.
617
00:36:55,255 --> 00:36:56,848
I don't want to cause a fuss.
618
00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:58,971
We're coming
to get you, Barbara!
619
00:37:00,802 --> 00:37:02,645
So, what's the plan?
620
00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:05,519
Right.
621
00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:10,146
We take Pete's car,
we drive over to Mum's.
622
00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:11,480
We go in.
623
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,484
- We take care of Philip.
- I'm so sorry, Philip.
624
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:18,366
Then we grab Mum.
We go over to Liz's place.
625
00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:20,197
Hole up, have a cup of tea.
626
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,408
And wait for all this
to blow over.
627
00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:25,119
Why have we got to go to Liz's?
628
00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:26,293
Because we do.
629
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:27,586
She dumped you!
630
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:29,414
I have to know
if she's all right.
631
00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:31,716
- Why?
- Because I love her!
632
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,805
All right, gay.
I'm not staying there though.
633
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:37,927
Why not?
634
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:40,384
If we hole up, I want to be
somewhere familiar.
635
00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:41,935
I want to know
where the exits are,
636
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:44,729
and I wanna be allowed to smoke.
637
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:45,851
Okay.
638
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:50,607
Take Pete's car,
go round Mum's. Go in.
639
00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:52,858
- Deal with Philip.
- Sorry, Philip.
640
00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:56,783
Grab Mum, go to Liz's, pick
her up, bring her back here,
641
00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:59,828
have a cup of tea, and wait
for all this to blow over.
642
00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:01,996
Perfick.
643
00:38:02,071 --> 00:38:05,075
No, no, no, no, no, wait,
we can't bring them back here.
644
00:38:05,158 --> 00:38:07,206
- Why not?
- Well, it's not exactly safe, is it?
645
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:09,708
Yeah. Look at the state of it.
646
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,750
Where's safe?
Where's familiar?
647
00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:15,210
Where can I smoke?
648
00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:22,349
Take car, go to Mum's.
649
00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:23,847
- Kill Phil.
- Sorry.
650
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:26,305
Grab Liz, go to the Winchester,
651
00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:29,937
have a nice cold pint, and wait
for all this to blow over.
652
00:38:31,893 --> 00:38:34,021
How's that for a slice of fried gold?
653
00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:35,946
Yeah, boy!
654
00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:39,151
To recap, it is vital that
you stay in your homes.
655
00:38:39,234 --> 00:38:41,828
Make no attempt
to reach loved ones
656
00:38:41,903 --> 00:38:45,328
and avoid all physical contact
with the assailants.
657
00:38:45,406 --> 00:38:47,909
Do you believe everything
you hear on TV?
658
00:38:50,245 --> 00:38:52,714
Yeah, I can see it, I can see it.
It's just outside.
659
00:38:52,789 --> 00:38:54,666
Any zombies out there?
660
00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:57,673
- Don't say that.
- What?
661
00:38:57,752 --> 00:38:59,595
- That.
- What?
662
00:38:59,671 --> 00:39:02,140
That. The Z word.
Don't say it.
663
00:39:02,215 --> 00:39:04,809
- Why not?
- Because it's ridiculous.
664
00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:06,056
All right.
665
00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:09,264
Are there any out there, though?
666
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:13,565
Can't see any. Maybe it's
not as bad as all that.
667
00:39:13,643 --> 00:39:15,520
Oh, no, there they are.
668
00:39:17,939 --> 00:39:19,111
Okay, let's do this, yeah?
669
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:20,282
- Yeah? Yeah?
- Yeah? Yeah?
670
00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:22,406
- Yeah?
- I got to do a wee first.
671
00:39:23,069 --> 00:39:24,992
Can I drive?
672
00:39:25,572 --> 00:39:27,700
- What?
- I've always wanted to drive Pete's car.
673
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:30,786
- I might not get another chance.
- Okay.
674
00:40:04,986 --> 00:40:09,457
Oh, God. Sorry, Pete. Listen, we're
gonna borrow your car, okay?
675
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:15,546
We'll bring it back. And if you're
feeling better later we're...
676
00:40:15,622 --> 00:40:16,669
We're going to the pub.
677
00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:19,342
So, you're more than welcome to
678
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:22,504
join us.
679
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:33,105
Pete'd be so pissed off if he
knew I was driving his car, eh?
680
00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:34,683
I don't think so.
681
00:40:36,517 --> 00:40:39,066
Shaun, Shaun, which
button's central locking?
682
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:46,986
Cock it!
683
00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:49,493
Get lost!
684
00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:05,551
Drive.
685
00:41:07,757 --> 00:41:08,758
The Church of England
686
00:41:08,841 --> 00:41:11,811
has now joined other
extremist religious groups
687
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:13,308
in proclaiming the phenomenon,
688
00:41:13,388 --> 00:41:14,810
a sign of a coming apocalypse...
689
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:16,141
Dad.
690
00:41:16,224 --> 00:41:19,524
...although Downing Street is refusing
to be drawn into a religious debate.
691
00:41:19,602 --> 00:41:23,573
Once again, the bodies of the recently
deceased are returning to life
692
00:41:23,648 --> 00:41:25,321
and attacking the living.
693
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,118
- There is no indication as to...
- Let's put something else on.
694
00:41:27,235 --> 00:41:29,033
...how or indeed why...
695
00:41:29,112 --> 00:41:30,489
- What are you doing?
- What?
696
00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:32,073
Ed, look out!
697
00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:37,996
I think we hit something.
698
00:41:40,456 --> 00:41:41,833
Or someone.
699
00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:53,561
Are you all right?
700
00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:56,598
Come on, let's just go.
701
00:41:57,807 --> 00:41:58,854
Hello?
702
00:41:58,933 --> 00:41:59,934
He's gonna be dead either way.
703
00:42:00,018 --> 00:42:02,112
Ed, that's not the point.
704
00:42:08,234 --> 00:42:09,406
Oh, thank God for that.
705
00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:19,247
Ah, hello.
Who's a pretty boy, then?
706
00:42:23,291 --> 00:42:24,759
You didn't tell me
Barbara had a Jag.
707
00:42:24,834 --> 00:42:26,594
Oh, I've always wanted
to drive one of those.
708
00:42:26,627 --> 00:42:27,719
Yeah, well, it's Philip's, okay?
709
00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:28,842
And he won't let
anybody near it.
710
00:42:28,921 --> 00:42:30,423
Honestly, I put half a Mars
Bar in the glove box once,
711
00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:32,099
and he chased me round the
garden with a bit of wood.
712
00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:34,269
Fuck, it's gorgeous.
713
00:42:34,343 --> 00:42:36,846
Okay, well, it seems pretty
clear, we should go.
714
00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:39,478
Why don't I stay here?
715
00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,559
What, what, what, what, what?
716
00:42:41,642 --> 00:42:43,690
You know,
just look after the car.
717
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:46,314
If there's any problems,
I'll honk three times.
718
00:42:47,982 --> 00:42:49,154
Okay.
719
00:42:53,654 --> 00:42:55,827
- Don't forget to kill Philip!
- What?
720
00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:59,335
- Hello, pickle.
- Hi, Mum.
721
00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:02,505
- Oh, you've got red on you.
- Yeah.
722
00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,924
Look, Mum, is everything okay?
Are you all right?
723
00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:07,548
- Yes, I'm fine.
- Where's Philip?
724
00:43:07,627 --> 00:43:09,504
- Dad's in the lounge.
- He's not my dad.
725
00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:10,930
Oh, Shaun, really.
726
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:12,803
Sorry. Mum, look,
I've got Ed outside.
727
00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:13,929
We're gonna take you
somewhere safe.
728
00:43:14,008 --> 00:43:15,368
But we have to wait
for the doctor.
729
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:16,678
Mum, I don't think
the doctor's gonna come.
730
00:43:16,761 --> 00:43:18,684
I don't think Philip's going to
want to leave the house, darling.
731
00:43:18,763 --> 00:43:20,561
Mum, Philip isn't...
732
00:43:21,182 --> 00:43:23,935
Put the kettle on,
and I'll deal with Philip.
733
00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:25,770
- Okay.
- Okay, then.
734
00:43:25,853 --> 00:43:27,605
- Are you hungry?
- Yeah. No, not really!
735
00:43:27,688 --> 00:43:30,111
- I'll make some sandwiches.
- Okay.
736
00:43:31,275 --> 00:43:33,073
No fighting, you two.
737
00:43:34,362 --> 00:43:38,037
...you may ask "Where is our God?"
738
00:43:38,783 --> 00:43:40,205
But throughout the land,
739
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:45,541
men and women of integrity rise
up to confront the unseen enemy.
740
00:43:47,083 --> 00:43:52,214
They will not be cowards, they will
be courageous in the face of danger.
741
00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:00,225
I'm so sorry, Philip.
742
00:44:00,226 --> 00:44:01,768
Why?
743
00:44:01,848 --> 00:44:03,395
What have you done now?
744
00:44:03,474 --> 00:44:05,317
- Nothing.
- What have you got there?
745
00:44:05,393 --> 00:44:06,815
Flowers, I hope.
746
00:44:06,894 --> 00:44:08,988
No, it's... Cricket bat.
747
00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:10,781
Oh, is that
for the jumble, Shaun?
748
00:44:10,857 --> 00:44:12,029
No. Yes.
749
00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:14,236
There's a box
of your toys upstairs.
750
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:15,991
I was going to give
them to the jumble.
751
00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:18,038
I took them all
to the tip, Barbara.
752
00:44:18,114 --> 00:44:20,583
Oh, what? Shaun wants
to take us somewhere.
753
00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:22,501
Don't be silly.
I'm not going anywhere.
754
00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:23,857
Well, maybe you
should stay here.
755
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:25,292
You know, wait for the doctor,
and I'll take Mum.
756
00:44:25,371 --> 00:44:26,851
But you said
the doctor wasn't coming.
757
00:44:26,873 --> 00:44:28,625
You didn't call
the doctor, did you?
758
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:30,335
Well, I thought we ought to be
on the safe side.
759
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:31,965
I'm quite all right, Barbara.
760
00:44:32,044 --> 00:44:34,513
- I ran it under a cold tap.
- I really think...
761
00:44:34,589 --> 00:44:36,933
We had our jabs when we
went to the Isle of Wight.
762
00:44:37,049 --> 00:44:39,472
- But, Philip...
- It's a lot of overblown nonsense.
763
00:44:39,635 --> 00:44:41,512
A lot of drug nuts running wild.
764
00:44:41,596 --> 00:44:43,018
Still, I should get Mum away,
you know,
765
00:44:43,097 --> 00:44:44,098
just 'cause,
in case they come back.
766
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:45,775
I'm not going anywhere
without Philip.
767
00:44:45,850 --> 00:44:49,070
Mum, look, how about that tea?
768
00:44:50,396 --> 00:44:54,572
Mum? How much
do you love Philip?
769
00:44:54,650 --> 00:44:55,742
Two sugars, is it?
770
00:44:55,818 --> 00:44:57,912
I haven't had sugar
in my tea since 1982.
771
00:44:57,987 --> 00:44:59,364
Oh, yes.
772
00:44:59,447 --> 00:45:01,541
Will you cut me
some bread, love?
773
00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:03,914
Mum, look, how much
do you love Philip?
774
00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:06,166
Oh, Shaun, do we have to
go through all that again?
775
00:45:06,245 --> 00:45:07,542
Mum, look, what would you say
776
00:45:07,622 --> 00:45:08,902
if I told you
that over the years
777
00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:10,378
Philip's been quite
unkind to me?
778
00:45:10,458 --> 00:45:12,381
Well, you weren't always the
easiest person to live with.
779
00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:14,258
Mum, he chased me around the
garden with a bit of wood!
780
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:16,214
Well, you did call him
a you-know-what.
781
00:45:16,297 --> 00:45:17,890
- Oh, what, did he tell you that?
- Yes, he did.
782
00:45:17,965 --> 00:45:19,217
- Motherfucker.
- Shaun.
783
00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:21,223
Sorry, Mother, Mum.
784
00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:26,559
Look, Mum, did you know that on
several occasions he touched me?
785
00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:34,778
That wasn't true. Made it up,
shouldn't have done, sorry.
786
00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:36,029
Mum, you don't
understand, okay...
787
00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:37,548
No, it's you
that doesn't understand.
788
00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:40,113
Philip is my husband and has
been for the last 17 years.
789
00:45:40,196 --> 00:45:42,574
I know you haven't
always seen eye-to-eye,
790
00:45:42,657 --> 00:45:46,252
but I would, at least, expect
you to respect my feelings.
791
00:45:46,327 --> 00:45:47,874
You must be more adult
about these things.
792
00:45:47,954 --> 00:45:52,084
Yeah, come on, Shaun.
793
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:59,050
There comes a time when
you just got to be a man.
794
00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:10,610
I'm telling you,
it's a fuss over nothing.
795
00:46:10,685 --> 00:46:12,687
- Hello, Edward.
- Hi, Barbara.
796
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:15,444
- My, how you've grown.
- Yeah, you better believe it.
797
00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:17,571
What happened?
Why is he coming?
798
00:46:17,650 --> 00:46:18,993
It wasn't as easy as all that.
799
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:20,908
- God's sake.
- So, we're following you, are we?
800
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:24,366
No, it's probably best
if we... Where's the car?
801
00:46:26,909 --> 00:46:28,786
I pranged it.
802
00:46:28,869 --> 00:46:30,166
You were parked!
803
00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:31,463
Yeah.
804
00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:34,546
I guess we'll have to take the Jag.
805
00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:38,342
- Philip...
- What?
806
00:46:38,421 --> 00:46:39,889
Look out!
807
00:46:42,091 --> 00:46:43,434
Christ!
808
00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:46,141
Jesus!
809
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:52,760
Philip, give me the car keys!
810
00:46:52,768 --> 00:46:53,894
You're not driving that car.
811
00:46:53,978 --> 00:46:57,027
Philip! Give me the car keys!
812
00:46:57,106 --> 00:46:58,608
Ed, get Mum in the car.
813
00:46:58,691 --> 00:46:59,863
I'm on it.
814
00:47:00,860 --> 00:47:02,658
- Come on.
- No, don't worry about me.
815
00:47:02,737 --> 00:47:04,410
Worry about your mother.
816
00:47:04,864 --> 00:47:06,161
Ed, maybe I should drive.
817
00:47:06,240 --> 00:47:08,117
Man, I've adjusted the seat now.
818
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,749
All right, well, just,
you know, be careful!
819
00:47:21,088 --> 00:47:24,217
Can you please turn that noise down?
820
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:28,555
Are you all right, dear?
Would you like another tissue?
821
00:47:28,637 --> 00:47:31,732
I'd be fine, if it weren't
for that bloody racket!
822
00:47:31,807 --> 00:47:34,526
- It is a bit loud.
- Sorry, Barbara.
823
00:47:36,604 --> 00:47:39,403
You do realize this is
a 20 mile an hour zone.
824
00:47:39,482 --> 00:47:40,779
Oh, yeah.
825
00:47:44,111 --> 00:47:45,112
Here.
826
00:47:45,196 --> 00:47:48,575
Okay, Mum, this isn't gonna
take a second, all right?
827
00:47:50,284 --> 00:47:51,786
Philip, have you still got
the child locks on?
828
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,621
Safety first, Shaun.
829
00:47:54,747 --> 00:47:56,249
You can't...
830
00:47:58,292 --> 00:48:01,296
Hey, man, watch the leather.
831
00:48:03,089 --> 00:48:05,467
Listen, okay, keep moving.
If there's any problems...
832
00:48:05,549 --> 00:48:07,426
Yeah, yeah, I'll do the honks.
833
00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:33,953
Hello?
834
00:48:36,455 --> 00:48:37,957
Hello?
835
00:49:00,521 --> 00:49:02,194
Guys, can you let me in, please?
836
00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:05,117
- What are you doing?
- I've come to get you.
837
00:49:18,122 --> 00:49:19,499
Sorry, what are you doing?
838
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:20,799
I've come to take you
somewhere safe.
839
00:49:20,875 --> 00:49:23,094
We were perfectly safe
before you arrived.
840
00:49:23,169 --> 00:49:24,216
You don't know that.
841
00:49:24,295 --> 00:49:25,638
Well, there was two of them
out there a minute ago.
842
00:49:25,713 --> 00:49:27,511
How many are there now?
843
00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:28,933
- Lots!
- Lots.
844
00:49:29,008 --> 00:49:31,807
Look, believe me, it only takes one
of them to know you're in here.
845
00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:34,014
Listen, I tried calling, I really
did, but I couldn't get through.
846
00:49:34,096 --> 00:49:35,313
I had to come up with a plan.
847
00:49:35,389 --> 00:49:36,515
Oh, you made a plan.
848
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:38,146
Look, I don't care what the
telly says, all right,
849
00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,397
we have to get out of here.
850
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,821
If we don't, they'll come up here
and they'll tear us to pieces.
851
00:49:41,896 --> 00:49:44,490
And that is really gonna
exacerbate things for all of us.
852
00:49:44,565 --> 00:49:46,317
- Shaun...
- Look, Liz,
853
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,323
this is not about you
and me, all right?
854
00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:49,745
This is about survival.
855
00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:51,743
We need to be somewhere more
secure, somewhere on the ground,
856
00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:53,699
somewhere we can stay alive.
857
00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:55,910
- We're with you, Shaun.
- What?
858
00:49:55,993 --> 00:49:57,370
We're with you.
859
00:49:57,453 --> 00:49:58,921
I'm not going out there.
860
00:49:58,996 --> 00:50:01,090
Daffs! I don't want
to be torn to pieces,
861
00:50:01,165 --> 00:50:03,509
and I'm sure if you really think
about it, neither do you.
862
00:50:03,584 --> 00:50:04,756
I'm not going
if Liz is not going.
863
00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:06,007
Of course she's going.
864
00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:07,526
Well, I'm not staying here
by myself.
865
00:50:07,546 --> 00:50:08,946
You're going,
aren't you, Elizabeth?
866
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:11,008
- Lizzie?
- Liz?
867
00:50:15,888 --> 00:50:17,765
All right, Flash,
what do you have in mind?
868
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:19,896
Great, okay,
I've got a car outside,
869
00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:21,648
but it's gonna be
a bit cramped now.
870
00:50:21,727 --> 00:50:23,821
- So, has anyone got transport?
- Yes, yes.
871
00:50:23,938 --> 00:50:26,612
- Great. Where?
- Oh, no. Well, I've passed my test.
872
00:50:28,108 --> 00:50:29,109
David?
873
00:50:29,193 --> 00:50:31,946
I don't see the point
of owning a car in London.
874
00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:35,287
Look, okay, just get any blunt
objects together, all right?
875
00:50:35,366 --> 00:50:38,040
If you get cornered, bash them
in the head, that seems to work.
876
00:50:38,118 --> 00:50:40,962
Keep together,
stay sharp and follow me.
877
00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:43,461
So, what...
What's the plan, then?
878
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:45,464
We're going to the Winchester.
879
00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:51,757
Okay? Let's go.
880
00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:10,117
- Come on.
- Where's the car?
881
00:51:14,613 --> 00:51:16,286
What's up, niggaz?
882
00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:23,414
Okay, apologies for the cramped
conditions, everybody, okay?
883
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:24,794
Di, stay on David's lap?
884
00:51:24,873 --> 00:51:26,500
- Okay.
- Philip, hang in there, okay?
885
00:51:26,584 --> 00:51:28,461
- Ed, get there fast, yeah?
- Yeah.
886
00:51:28,544 --> 00:51:30,967
And, Mum, this is Liz.
Liz, Mum.
887
00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:32,343
- Hello.
- Hello.
888
00:51:39,054 --> 00:51:40,101
- Ed.
- Shaun.
889
00:51:40,180 --> 00:51:41,853
I know. Ed, be careful.
890
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:43,354
- Is your dad all right?
- He's not my dad.
891
00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:45,898
- He's bleeding.
- Yeah, I know. Ed, just be careful!
892
00:51:45,978 --> 00:51:48,322
Thought you wanted
to get there fast?
893
00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:51,618
I just want to get there
in one piece, okay?
894
00:51:51,692 --> 00:51:52,852
And why are we going this way?
895
00:51:52,860 --> 00:51:54,362
Chill out, it's a shortcut.
896
00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:55,822
But that road goes straight
to the Winchester.
897
00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:56,947
Shaun.
898
00:51:57,031 --> 00:51:59,159
Look, I know. Liz, please!
899
00:51:59,241 --> 00:52:00,788
I still don't actually
understand
900
00:52:00,868 --> 00:52:02,290
why we are going
to the Winchester.
901
00:52:02,369 --> 00:52:04,622
Because it's a pub,
it's safe, it's secure.
902
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:06,628
- They know us there.
- What makes it so secure?
903
00:52:06,707 --> 00:52:09,587
Because it's got big heavy doors and
deadbolts. You've been to a lock in.
904
00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,136
- Several.
- And there's a rifle above the bar.
905
00:52:11,211 --> 00:52:13,555
- I would think that's deactivated.
- Surely.
906
00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:16,430
It's not. I'm telling you. John's
connected. Big Al says so.
907
00:52:16,508 --> 00:52:18,431
Yeah, well, Big Al also says
dogs can't look up!
908
00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:19,636
- They can't.
- Can't they?
909
00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,222
- No, they can't!
- Of course they can!
910
00:52:21,223 --> 00:52:23,974
- Are you sure? I...
- Yes, look, the pub is the right place to go.
911
00:52:24,058 --> 00:52:25,935
Okay? Everything
is gonna be fine, I promise.
912
00:52:26,018 --> 00:52:27,895
- Shaun?
- I turned it off, all right?
913
00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:30,652
- It's not easy.
- What?
914
00:52:30,731 --> 00:52:33,325
Being a father, it's not easy.
915
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:34,447
What?
916
00:52:34,526 --> 00:52:36,949
You were 12 when I met you.
917
00:52:37,029 --> 00:52:39,373
You'd already grown up so much.
918
00:52:39,448 --> 00:52:41,416
I just wanted you to be strong
919
00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:45,087
and not give up
because you lost your dad.
920
00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:47,339
Philip, you don't
have to explain.
921
00:52:47,414 --> 00:52:51,669
No, I do. I always loved you, Shaun.
922
00:52:51,752 --> 00:52:57,509
I always thought you had
it in you to do well.
923
00:52:57,591 --> 00:53:00,595
And you just need motivation.
924
00:53:00,678 --> 00:53:04,273
Somebody to look up to, and...
925
00:53:06,100 --> 00:53:08,148
I thought it could be me.
926
00:53:10,104 --> 00:53:13,734
Would you just take care
of your mum?
927
00:53:16,485 --> 00:53:18,362
There's a good boy.
928
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:23,542
Ed, can you pull over?
929
00:53:23,617 --> 00:53:24,709
Two seconds.
930
00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:29,506
- Ed, please pull over.
- What for?
931
00:53:29,581 --> 00:53:31,800
- Ed, just pull over!
- All right.
932
00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:39,557
Whoa, mama!
933
00:53:39,633 --> 00:53:41,055
Christ! What the hell
do you think you're doing?
934
00:53:41,135 --> 00:53:42,728
Chill out. Everyone's all right.
935
00:53:42,803 --> 00:53:45,647
Stop telling me to chill out!
936
00:53:46,765 --> 00:53:49,005
And no, for your information,
everybody is not all right.
937
00:53:49,017 --> 00:53:50,735
What's wrong?
938
00:53:50,811 --> 00:53:52,609
Mum, it's Philip, he's gone.
939
00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:54,315
Where's he gone?
940
00:53:54,398 --> 00:53:56,071
Mum, he's dead.
941
00:53:56,150 --> 00:53:57,572
No, he isn't.
942
00:53:59,069 --> 00:54:01,572
Get out! Get out!
943
00:54:01,905 --> 00:54:04,909
Oh, Jesus! Fuck, fuck.
944
00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:06,494
It won't open! It won't open!
945
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:07,829
Ed, get the child locks!
946
00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:10,039
Come on, quick, come on.
947
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:12,132
It won't open.
948
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:14,835
Ed!
949
00:54:34,021 --> 00:54:35,898
- Now what?
- We've got to keep moving.
950
00:54:36,023 --> 00:54:37,570
- How do we get Philip out the car?
- We haven't got time.
951
00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:38,650
What about the blunt objects?
952
00:54:38,734 --> 00:54:39,734
Do you want to get them?
953
00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:41,866
- Shaun, we can't just leave your dad!
- He's not my dad!
954
00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:44,536
- Oh, Shaun...
- Mum, he was, but he's not anymore!
955
00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:46,617
- I really think we could...
- No, listen to me, Mum, listen.
956
00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:48,577
That's not even your husband in there.
957
00:54:48,660 --> 00:54:49,877
Okay? I know
it looks like him,
958
00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:53,298
but there is nothing of the man you
loved in that car now, nothing!
959
00:54:56,043 --> 00:54:57,545
Let's go, shall we?
960
00:54:58,337 --> 00:55:00,715
You're not seriously suggesting we walk!
961
00:55:02,841 --> 00:55:04,013
Everybody okay back there?
962
00:55:04,092 --> 00:55:06,891
Oh, yeah, we're having
a whale of a time.
963
00:55:06,970 --> 00:55:09,940
Maybe we should all hold
hands, like a crocodile?
964
00:55:10,015 --> 00:55:12,188
Do you have any idea
where we're actually going?
965
00:55:12,267 --> 00:55:13,894
- David, come on.
- Sorry.
966
00:55:14,895 --> 00:55:16,989
- Do you, though?
- Yeah, totally, totally.
967
00:55:17,064 --> 00:55:18,737
Well, are we close?
968
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:26,578
We're pretty close.
969
00:55:27,616 --> 00:55:28,913
Is your mum gonna be okay?
970
00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:29,993
Yeah, I hope so.
971
00:55:30,077 --> 00:55:31,420
Did you manage to get in
contact with your folks?
972
00:55:31,537 --> 00:55:33,665
- They're in Antigua.
- Do you think this is happening there?
973
00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:35,545
I hope not.
974
00:55:35,624 --> 00:55:38,844
Listen, Liz, about last night. You know,
I know loads of things were said, but...
975
00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:40,679
Shaun, you said
this wasn't about you and me.
976
00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:41,755
No, no, it's not, but, I just...
977
00:55:41,839 --> 00:55:43,341
You said it was about survival.
978
00:55:43,423 --> 00:55:44,515
Yeah, it is, but what I'm saying is...
979
00:55:44,591 --> 00:55:46,264
You're not doing all this just
to prove something, are you?
980
00:55:46,343 --> 00:55:47,344
No, of course not.
I just think...
981
00:55:47,427 --> 00:55:49,947
Because I meant everything I said
last night. Nothing's changed.
982
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,310
Maybe this isn't the best time
to talk about it.
983
00:55:54,393 --> 00:55:56,316
- Okay...
- Oh, my God!
984
00:55:57,271 --> 00:55:58,523
Shaun.
985
00:55:59,398 --> 00:56:01,617
- Yvonne.
- How's it going?
986
00:56:02,651 --> 00:56:04,403
- Surviving.
- Hey, Liz.
987
00:56:04,486 --> 00:56:05,988
Long time no see.
988
00:56:06,071 --> 00:56:07,118
Hey, Yvonne.
989
00:56:08,740 --> 00:56:10,868
This is my boyfriend, Declan.
990
00:56:10,951 --> 00:56:16,208
My friends Mark, Maggie,
my mum and my cousin Tom.
991
00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:18,588
This is Shaun and his girlfriend Liz.
992
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:19,884
They've split up, actually.
993
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:21,382
Oh, really?
994
00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:22,587
Yeah.
995
00:56:22,671 --> 00:56:23,888
That's a shame.
996
00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:25,716
Well, we should scoot.
997
00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:26,800
Have you got
somewhere you're going?
998
00:56:26,884 --> 00:56:29,103
Yeah, we're going
to the Winchester.
999
00:56:29,177 --> 00:56:30,474
The pub?
1000
00:56:32,598 --> 00:56:35,397
- Yeah.
- Right, well. Good luck!
1001
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:42,908
- Hi!
- Hi!
1002
00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:44,235
- Hello.
- Hello.
1003
00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:45,570
- Hi.
- Hi.
1004
00:56:45,652 --> 00:56:47,370
- Hello.
- Hello.
1005
00:56:47,446 --> 00:56:48,446
- All right.
- All right.
1006
00:56:50,866 --> 00:56:53,085
See, what did I say? The
Winchester's just over there.
1007
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,538
- Over where?
- Over there.
1008
00:56:55,621 --> 00:56:58,215
Just over there, over the 20 garden fences?
1009
00:56:58,916 --> 00:57:03,467
What's the matter, David,
never taken a shortcut before?
1010
00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:25,777
Shaun, I'm sure Jill and Derek
live round here.
1011
00:57:39,498 --> 00:57:43,173
Now, the Winchester is just
over that fence, all right?
1012
00:57:43,251 --> 00:57:45,674
So, everyone stay
where they are. I'll...
1013
00:57:45,754 --> 00:57:46,880
Hang on, are we all here?
1014
00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:48,807
One, two, three,
four, five. Yes.
1015
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:50,634
- There's six of us.
- Oh.
1016
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:53,474
Mum!
1017
00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:57,724
I'm coming!
1018
00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:00,778
Mum, Mum! Mum, are you okay?
Are you okay?
1019
00:58:00,852 --> 00:58:03,696
I don't think Jill and Derek
do live here.
1020
00:58:06,066 --> 00:58:07,192
Shaun?
1021
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,740
Are you all right?
1022
00:58:30,924 --> 00:58:32,551
What are you doing?
1023
00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:36,559
Shaun!
1024
00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:41,526
Yes!
1025
00:58:44,104 --> 00:58:45,777
No, that's rubbish.
1026
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:55,115
Yes!
1027
00:58:57,617 --> 00:58:59,870
Feel free to step in any time!
1028
00:58:59,953 --> 00:59:01,000
You did all right.
1029
00:59:01,079 --> 00:59:02,501
I didn't want
to cramp your style.
1030
00:59:02,581 --> 00:59:04,879
- Why?
- I'm so sorry about that.
1031
00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:08,462
Right.
1032
00:59:10,672 --> 00:59:12,299
Okay, everyone just stay
where they are.
1033
00:59:12,382 --> 00:59:14,635
I'm gonna check
if the coast is clear.
1034
00:59:24,019 --> 00:59:26,147
- Is it clear?
- No.
1035
00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:27,981
- How many?
- Lots.
1036
00:59:38,533 --> 00:59:41,582
Oh, well, that is just great.
1037
00:59:41,661 --> 00:59:43,538
There are a fair
few of them, yes.
1038
00:59:43,622 --> 00:59:46,796
I trust Shaun has another
genius scheme up his sleeve?
1039
00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:49,253
This is hardly
constructive, David!
1040
00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:51,088
No, Lizzie,
this is a waste of time.
1041
00:59:51,213 --> 00:59:52,430
We should have stayed at the flat.
1042
00:59:52,506 --> 00:59:53,906
- Yeah, why didn't you?
- Because...
1043
00:59:53,924 --> 00:59:57,679
- Because...
- Because, because of Captain Wow!
1044
00:59:57,761 --> 00:59:58,762
Will you stop it!
1045
00:59:58,845 --> 01:00:00,939
Yes, we're not gonna get
anywhere by moaning.
1046
01:00:09,815 --> 01:00:14,946
Right, let's all shake out.
Get nice and limber. Or not.
1047
01:00:15,028 --> 01:00:18,783
Now, take another look at the way he moves.
Remember, very limp.
1048
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:20,458
Almost like sleepwalking.
1049
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:24,664
Look at the face, it's vacant
with a hint of sadness.
1050
01:00:24,746 --> 01:00:26,874
Like a drunk who's lost a bet.
1051
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:29,210
Okay, let's try,
shall we? Liz.
1052
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:37,134
Nice, good vocal work. Okay.
Barbara, that's excellent.
1053
01:00:37,884 --> 01:00:39,886
Sorry, dear, I was miles away.
1054
01:00:40,387 --> 01:00:41,387
Daffs.
1055
01:00:42,514 --> 01:00:43,514
Come on!
1056
01:00:44,683 --> 01:00:46,651
Okay. It's mournful, sorrowful,
1057
01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:48,774
you're dead,
and you hate it. Go.
1058
01:00:49,980 --> 01:00:51,573
Much better. Ed.
1059
01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:54,242
- I'll do it on the night.
- This is the night!
1060
01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:57,662
- What is that?
- What about yours?
1061
01:00:57,737 --> 01:01:00,661
Who died and made you
fucking king of the zombies?
1062
01:01:00,740 --> 01:01:02,083
Don't.
1063
01:01:05,620 --> 01:01:08,669
- Yeah, that's pretty good.
- Okay, right.
1064
01:01:08,748 --> 01:01:10,341
Let's all try together,
shall we?
1065
01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:13,091
One, two, three.
1066
01:02:06,473 --> 01:02:10,023
Go, go, go, go.
1067
01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:14,193
Shit. Get round me, get round me.
1068
01:02:14,272 --> 01:02:16,320
John? John, Bernie,
are you there?
1069
01:02:16,399 --> 01:02:19,027
It's Shaun and Ed.
We come in all the time.
1070
01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:21,533
- They can hear you.
- We do the quiz.
1071
01:02:21,613 --> 01:02:23,240
- They know.
- Stay in character, Daffs!
1072
01:02:23,323 --> 01:02:24,540
I can't see them.
1073
01:02:24,616 --> 01:02:26,368
Shaun, we have to get inside.
1074
01:02:26,493 --> 01:02:28,587
- Break the window.
- Don't be stupid, we'll be totally exposed!
1075
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:30,289
We are totally exposed.
Break the window!
1076
01:02:30,372 --> 01:02:31,464
Is there another way in?
1077
01:02:31,539 --> 01:02:32,631
Well, yeah, there's...
1078
01:02:35,502 --> 01:02:37,004
Two seconds.
1079
01:02:37,087 --> 01:02:38,805
- Hey, Noodle.
- You all right, mate?
1080
01:02:38,922 --> 01:02:40,970
- Yeah, man, I can't really talk now.
- Did you get anything yet?
1081
01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:42,426
- I got nothing.
- Really?
1082
01:02:42,509 --> 01:02:43,761
No, I'm right in the middle of something.
1083
01:02:43,843 --> 01:02:44,935
A bit mentalist, isn't it?
1084
01:02:45,011 --> 01:02:48,106
Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?
Oi! What are you doing?
1085
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:50,525
What am I doing? What are you
doing, you stupid moron?
1086
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,773
- Fuck off.
- You fuck off!
1087
01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:54,820
Fuck fucking off!
1088
01:02:54,938 --> 01:02:57,236
- Shaun...
- I've spent an entire life... Look at me.
1089
01:02:57,315 --> 01:02:59,534
I've spent my entire life
sticking my neck out for you,
1090
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:01,327
and all you ever do
is fuck things up!
1091
01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:03,121
Fuck things up
and make me look stupid!
1092
01:03:03,196 --> 01:03:05,949
Well, I'm not gonna let you
do it anymore. Not today.
1093
01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:07,284
Shaun...
1094
01:03:08,868 --> 01:03:09,915
Oh.
1095
01:03:17,669 --> 01:03:20,138
You were saying
about another way in?
1096
01:03:20,213 --> 01:03:21,635
Yeah, there's a...
1097
01:03:22,716 --> 01:03:24,514
What are you doing?
1098
01:03:25,427 --> 01:03:26,474
No!
1099
01:03:28,054 --> 01:03:29,977
- Get inside!
- No, they'll follow us!
1100
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:31,148
- What?
- They'll follow us.
1101
01:03:31,224 --> 01:03:32,692
Just keep up the act, I'm
gonna have to do something.
1102
01:03:32,767 --> 01:03:34,269
What do you mean,
"Do something"?
1103
01:03:34,352 --> 01:03:36,480
Hello, hello,
over here, over here!
1104
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:41,069
Come on, come on, that's it, yeah, come
on, come on, that's it, over here!
1105
01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:43,529
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, over here!
Yeah, come on!
1106
01:03:43,611 --> 01:03:46,160
Oh, bollocks. Okay, wait till
I've gone, then get inside!
1107
01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:47,279
- Gone where?
- Gone where?
1108
01:03:47,324 --> 01:03:48,701
I won't be long, I promise.
1109
01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:51,832
Come on, you
pasty-faced fuckers, let's go!
1110
01:03:51,911 --> 01:03:53,913
Follow me.
Come on, let's go!
1111
01:03:54,414 --> 01:03:56,667
Come on, this way,
this way, that's it, come on!
1112
01:03:56,750 --> 01:03:58,673
Come on. This way, follow me.
1113
01:03:58,752 --> 01:04:00,971
Come on, follow me. Come on!
1114
01:04:01,046 --> 01:04:04,220
Come and get it!
It's a running buffet!
1115
01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:06,347
All you can eat!
1116
01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:08,470
Shall we go in, then?
1117
01:04:16,936 --> 01:04:18,779
Come on, Barbara.
Leave those.
1118
01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:20,323
I think they're for me.
1119
01:04:40,502 --> 01:04:42,129
He's been gone
a good 20 minutes.
1120
01:04:42,212 --> 01:04:43,213
Seventeen.
1121
01:04:43,296 --> 01:04:46,766
Either way, we need to think about
blocking up this window here.
1122
01:04:46,841 --> 01:04:48,388
We're totally exposed.
1123
01:04:48,468 --> 01:04:50,470
How will Shaun get back in?
1124
01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:52,146
I'm sure he'll knock.
1125
01:04:53,973 --> 01:04:56,226
Oh, for goodness sake,
let's get some lights on here.
1126
01:04:56,309 --> 01:04:57,686
David, wait!
1127
01:04:58,478 --> 01:05:00,731
- Power's off.
- That's a good thing.
1128
01:05:00,814 --> 01:05:03,283
We don't want to advertise our
whereabouts more than we already have.
1129
01:05:03,358 --> 01:05:04,405
No, of course not.
1130
01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:05,986
Do we, David?
1131
01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:10,453
No, of course not, Lizzie.
I'm just being proactive.
1132
01:05:10,949 --> 01:05:13,230
There's no lights, there's no power.
Where are the owners?
1133
01:05:13,243 --> 01:05:15,211
And there's that bloody
great hole in the window.
1134
01:05:15,286 --> 01:05:16,458
You did that, you twat!
1135
01:05:16,538 --> 01:05:17,698
Somebody had to do something!
1136
01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:19,169
I don't know if you noticed back there,
1137
01:05:19,249 --> 01:05:20,626
but we were in a spot of bother.
1138
01:05:20,708 --> 01:05:22,301
Somebody has to take control
of the situation,
1139
01:05:22,377 --> 01:05:27,008
and if none of you are prepared
to accept that responsibility
1140
01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:30,094
then perhaps I should.
1141
01:05:30,718 --> 01:05:32,436
Will Shaun be gone long?
1142
01:05:32,512 --> 01:05:34,810
- He'll be back soon.
- How can you know that?
1143
01:05:34,889 --> 01:05:36,562
I don't think he'd leave us, Daffs.
1144
01:05:36,641 --> 01:05:39,520
Wouldn't he? Lizzie, how can
you put your faith in a man
1145
01:05:39,602 --> 01:05:42,856
you spectacularly binned
for being unreliable?
1146
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:44,816
A man whose idea
of a romantic nightspot
1147
01:05:44,899 --> 01:05:46,993
and an impenetrable fortress
are the same thing.
1148
01:05:47,068 --> 01:05:50,868
This is a pub! We are in a pub!
What are we going to do?
1149
01:05:51,489 --> 01:05:52,706
I could get a round in.
1150
01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:55,626
Look, let's just keep quiet
and wait for Shaun.
1151
01:05:55,702 --> 01:05:57,545
We can barricade the window
when he gets back.
1152
01:05:57,620 --> 01:06:00,419
What then? How long?
Days? Weeks? A month?
1153
01:06:00,498 --> 01:06:01,966
What about food?
What are we going to eat?
1154
01:06:02,041 --> 01:06:04,089
- Toasties!
- Yeah, there's a Breville out back.
1155
01:06:04,169 --> 01:06:06,012
Oh, great, then!
Saved by nibbles!
1156
01:06:06,087 --> 01:06:08,715
That must be why Shaun took us
here before he buggered off.
1157
01:06:08,798 --> 01:06:10,345
He's coming back!
1158
01:06:10,425 --> 01:06:12,974
Why? Because he promised?
1159
01:06:13,052 --> 01:06:15,692
And even if he does, do you think
his master plan's going to extend
1160
01:06:15,722 --> 01:06:18,441
to anything more than sitting
and eating peanuts in the dark?
1161
01:06:18,516 --> 01:06:19,859
What, is he just gonna stroll in
1162
01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,186
and suddenly everything's
gonna be okay?
1163
01:06:21,269 --> 01:06:23,897
I don't know, David!
1164
01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:25,944
I don't know any more
than you do.
1165
01:06:26,024 --> 01:06:27,901
But what I do know is
that we're here now
1166
01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:30,863
and we have to make
the best of it!
1167
01:06:32,405 --> 01:06:34,032
Ed, get me a double vodka.
1168
01:06:34,115 --> 01:06:35,332
Right you are.
1169
01:06:35,408 --> 01:06:37,160
Think I'll have a drink, too, actually.
1170
01:06:37,243 --> 01:06:39,166
- Would you like a drink, Barbara?
- Hello.
1171
01:06:39,245 --> 01:06:41,464
Right, great, fuck it. That's what
we'll do, that's what we'll do.
1172
01:06:41,539 --> 01:06:42,665
We'll all have a party.
How about that?
1173
01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:44,171
We all get completely smashed.
1174
01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:46,548
Oh, look, we've got our nibbles.
1175
01:06:46,628 --> 01:06:48,175
We've got our Mini Cheddars...
1176
01:06:48,254 --> 01:06:49,847
- David!
- We got Twiglets.
1177
01:06:49,923 --> 01:06:52,096
Oh, look, Hog Lumps.
1178
01:06:57,263 --> 01:06:58,810
Pickle.
1179
01:06:58,890 --> 01:07:00,767
Hello, Mum. You all right?
1180
01:07:00,850 --> 01:07:02,523
- Everybody okay?
- Yeah.
1181
01:07:02,602 --> 01:07:04,320
- Any sign of John and Bernie?
- We haven't seen them.
1182
01:07:04,395 --> 01:07:06,147
- Check upstairs?
- I think it's locked.
1183
01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:07,198
What's the phone situation?
1184
01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:09,651
Dead. Same as the power.
1185
01:07:09,734 --> 01:07:11,702
Okay.
1186
01:07:11,778 --> 01:07:13,701
Nice of you to join us.
1187
01:07:14,072 --> 01:07:16,871
Yeah, well, I promised, didn't I?
1188
01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:24,799
How did you lose them?
1189
01:07:26,793 --> 01:07:30,343
I just gave them the slip. Wasn't
difficult. They're not all that.
1190
01:07:30,630 --> 01:07:32,177
Well, how did you get in?
1191
01:07:32,257 --> 01:07:33,884
There is a back door, David.
1192
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:36,061
I tried to tell you before you
went and smashed the window.
1193
01:07:36,135 --> 01:07:37,637
Well, I wasn't the one
who was blowing our cover
1194
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:39,563
by having a tiff with my boyfriend.
1195
01:07:39,639 --> 01:07:41,232
He's not my boyfriend.
1196
01:07:41,724 --> 01:07:43,567
Might be a bit warm,
the cooler's off.
1197
01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:44,986
Thanks, babe.
1198
01:07:46,771 --> 01:07:48,773
So, what's the plan, then?
1199
01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:54,283
Would anyone like a peanut?
1200
01:08:03,663 --> 01:08:05,791
Why don't you do your Clyde?
1201
01:08:05,873 --> 01:08:08,626
Oh, some... Has anyone seen
Every Which Way But Loose?
1202
01:08:08,710 --> 01:08:11,384
Ed does the most amazing
impression of the orangutan.
1203
01:08:11,462 --> 01:08:14,261
- No, it's not.
- It is. Come on. Do it.
1204
01:08:14,340 --> 01:08:16,388
- No, no.
- But it's brilliant. Come on, just do it.
1205
01:08:16,467 --> 01:08:17,593
Do it, it'll work.
Come on, just do it.
1206
01:08:17,677 --> 01:08:19,099
You've built it up too much,
I feel uncomfortable.
1207
01:08:19,178 --> 01:08:21,306
- No, you don't. Just do it.
- Oh, come on, do it.
1208
01:08:21,389 --> 01:08:23,187
See. Everyone wants to see it.
We could do with a laugh.
1209
01:08:23,266 --> 01:08:25,860
- Do it, do it, do it, do it.
- Come on, do it.
1210
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:28,063
I'm not a performing monkey.
1211
01:08:30,982 --> 01:08:33,701
- The power's on.
- It's not, I tried it earlier.
1212
01:08:33,776 --> 01:08:35,949
No, but the streetlights have come on.
It means the grid isn't out.
1213
01:08:36,029 --> 01:08:38,157
It's the fuses. I'll just flip them
back on, we can watch television.
1214
01:08:38,239 --> 01:08:39,286
What about the lights?
1215
01:08:39,365 --> 01:08:42,335
Yes, we don't want to advertise our
whereabouts more than we already have.
1216
01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:44,010
The lights operate
on a separate circuit,
1217
01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:45,584
I'll just flip
the mains breakers.
1218
01:08:45,663 --> 01:08:47,665
It's quite simple, David.
1219
01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:18,617
- Is that it?
- That's it!
1220
01:09:45,306 --> 01:09:48,936
Liz, have you got a quid?
1221
01:09:53,606 --> 01:09:55,108
Yeah.
1222
01:10:00,113 --> 01:10:02,241
Never anything on, is there?
1223
01:10:06,536 --> 01:10:07,628
What?
1224
01:10:10,623 --> 01:10:13,046
I think we might have
a bit of a problem.
1225
01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:15,170
What do you mean?
1226
01:10:18,381 --> 01:10:19,758
They followed me.
1227
01:10:20,425 --> 01:10:22,769
I thought you said you gave them the slip.
1228
01:10:22,844 --> 01:10:23,970
Yeah.
1229
01:10:25,930 --> 01:10:29,400
Well, we'll just have to be
extra quiet, then, won't we?
1230
01:10:31,144 --> 01:10:32,396
What?
1231
01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:36,490
- Ed, no!
- Ed, no!
1232
01:10:37,316 --> 01:10:38,863
Turn it off!
1233
01:11:11,142 --> 01:11:12,485
Shit!
1234
01:11:13,311 --> 01:11:15,271
- Where the hell did he come from?
- I don't know.
1235
01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:21,323
- Who the hell put this on?
- It's on random.
1236
01:11:21,402 --> 01:11:22,449
For fuck's sake!
1237
01:11:22,528 --> 01:11:25,953
Okay, Dianne, get Mum somewhere safe.
David, kill the Queen.
1238
01:11:26,032 --> 01:11:27,249
- What?
- The jukebox!
1239
01:11:27,325 --> 01:11:28,872
Liz, Ed, grab something weapony.
1240
01:11:28,951 --> 01:11:30,919
- What about the rifle?
- It's not real!
1241
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:32,292
- Cocktails?
- What do you mean?
1242
01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:36,126
The flaming spirits. Drambuie, sambuca,
brandy. Get a rag in. Light it.
1243
01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:38,753
- But the whole place could go up.
- What, then?
1244
01:11:39,045 --> 01:11:40,638
How about pool?
1245
01:11:46,886 --> 01:11:49,435
Okay, John,
it's time at the bar!
1246
01:12:08,950 --> 01:12:09,990
I can't find the switches!
1247
01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:12,378
Well, then get the fuses!
1248
01:12:46,279 --> 01:12:47,747
Why is Queen still on?
1249
01:12:47,822 --> 01:12:49,119
We have a situation!
1250
01:12:49,198 --> 01:12:50,290
I know!
1251
01:12:51,492 --> 01:12:52,539
- Fuck this.
- Ed!
1252
01:12:52,618 --> 01:12:54,165
Two seconds.
1253
01:12:54,245 --> 01:12:55,292
Oi!
1254
01:13:03,212 --> 01:13:04,805
Shaun!
1255
01:13:07,967 --> 01:13:09,014
No!
1256
01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:13,314
Yes! Yes! In the head!
1257
01:13:18,227 --> 01:13:19,774
Shauny!
1258
01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:38,123
Why didn't you just shoot him, man?
1259
01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:41,547
Ed, for the last time, it's...
1260
01:13:45,254 --> 01:13:46,972
I fucking knew it!
1261
01:13:47,048 --> 01:13:49,551
What did I tell you?
Big Al was right.
1262
01:13:49,634 --> 01:13:50,726
Okay,
1263
01:13:55,139 --> 01:13:57,107
but dogs can look up.
1264
01:14:00,686 --> 01:14:02,939
- Okay, has anyone fired a gun before?
- Oh, yeah.
1265
01:14:03,022 --> 01:14:04,945
- Apart from Ed?
- I'm a pacifist.
1266
01:14:05,024 --> 01:14:06,150
Apart from David and Ed?
1267
01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:07,735
Sorry, what was Ed's experience?
1268
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,991
He shot his sister in the leg
with an air rifle.
1269
01:14:10,071 --> 01:14:11,118
I think you should do it.
1270
01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:12,164
I think we should all do it.
1271
01:14:12,239 --> 01:14:13,741
How can five people
operate one gun?
1272
01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:16,953
None of us have any real experience, okay?
Now, we've only got...
1273
01:14:17,036 --> 01:14:18,629
- Twenty-nine.
- Twenty-nine bullets.
1274
01:14:18,704 --> 01:14:20,456
- Call them "shells."
- We've only got 29 shells,
1275
01:14:20,539 --> 01:14:21,916
we really need to work
together on this.
1276
01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:23,171
I need someone
to help me reload,
1277
01:14:23,250 --> 01:14:25,127
everyone else to look
out. I will fire.
1278
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:26,508
As Bertrand Russell once said,
1279
01:14:26,587 --> 01:14:29,807
"The only thing that will
redeem mankind is cooperation."
1280
01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:33,056
I think we can all appreciate
the relevance of that now.
1281
01:14:33,135 --> 01:14:34,495
Was that on the back
of a beer mat?
1282
01:14:34,553 --> 01:14:35,930
Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold.
1283
01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,560
- I won't say anything.
- Thanks.
1284
01:14:40,101 --> 01:14:41,978
They definitely want to come in.
1285
01:14:42,061 --> 01:14:43,187
Get Mum out of the way.
1286
01:14:43,813 --> 01:14:46,657
David, Dianne, let's go.
Ed, give me some shells.
1287
01:14:48,776 --> 01:14:51,154
- Barbara?
- Oh, hello.
1288
01:14:51,278 --> 01:14:54,202
- Would you like to come with me?
- That would be lovely.
1289
01:14:56,075 --> 01:14:58,373
It's nice to meet you, finally.
1290
01:14:59,537 --> 01:15:01,210
Shaun's always talking about you.
1291
01:15:01,288 --> 01:15:02,665
- Really?
- Yeah.
1292
01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:05,133
Barbara?
1293
01:15:06,919 --> 01:15:08,637
Are you all right?
1294
01:15:09,088 --> 01:15:11,216
I've got something for you.
1295
01:15:12,591 --> 01:15:16,061
Shaun's father gave me this.
Shaun's real father, I mean.
1296
01:15:16,137 --> 01:15:18,014
I'd like you to have it.
1297
01:15:18,097 --> 01:15:19,690
Barbara, Shaun and I have...
1298
01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:21,392
it seems only right.
1299
01:15:37,533 --> 01:15:39,706
I didn't want to say anything.
1300
01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:41,833
I thought Shaun would be worried.
1301
01:15:43,122 --> 01:15:46,251
- Liz?
- Here they come!
1302
01:15:48,127 --> 01:15:50,255
- Stay behind me! Stay behind me!
- There's one!
1303
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:51,384
Sorry, we're closed!
1304
01:15:53,632 --> 01:15:55,384
- Try the safety button.
- Yeah, that happened to me on stage.
1305
01:15:55,468 --> 01:15:56,720
Cock it!
1306
01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:06,403
- Over there!
- Over where?
1307
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:07,822
3200.
1308
01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:15,996
Over there again. Quarter to twelve.
1309
01:16:16,072 --> 01:16:17,494
What?
1310
01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:19,746
- 11:45.
- Keep it simple!
1311
01:16:21,118 --> 01:16:22,370
Top left.
1312
01:16:24,663 --> 01:16:26,415
- Reload.
- I'm on it!
1313
01:16:32,755 --> 01:16:34,257
Nice shot.
1314
01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:37,059
Okay, David, Dianne,
let's block up this window!
1315
01:16:37,134 --> 01:16:38,886
Ed, take over a sec.
1316
01:16:40,221 --> 01:16:43,225
- What is it? What's wrong?
- Shaun, I'm so sorry.
1317
01:16:43,307 --> 01:16:44,307
Mum, what's wrong?
1318
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:46,523
I didn't want to be a bother.
1319
01:16:49,855 --> 01:16:51,732
Mum, I don't understand.
1320
01:16:51,816 --> 01:16:53,784
The man in his pajamas...
1321
01:16:53,859 --> 01:16:56,578
I didn't want to say anything,
I thought you'd be upset.
1322
01:16:56,654 --> 01:16:58,656
No, you should've said.
1323
01:17:00,241 --> 01:17:02,243
- Take over a sec.
- What?
1324
01:17:02,326 --> 01:17:04,704
- What's going on?
- What's up? What's wrong?
1325
01:17:04,787 --> 01:17:06,755
- What the hell's going on?
- Barbara's hurt!
1326
01:17:06,831 --> 01:17:08,959
- Mum.
- Just take over a minute.
1327
01:17:09,041 --> 01:17:12,215
- Jesus.
- I know first aid.
1328
01:17:13,379 --> 01:17:17,600
- Just hang on. Mum? Mum?
- Is she...
1329
01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:18,927
Shaun...
1330
01:17:19,009 --> 01:17:21,387
Just hold on, Mum,
you're gonna be fine.
1331
01:17:21,470 --> 01:17:24,064
- I never thanked you.
- For what?
1332
01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:29,316
For these. "To a wonderful mum."
1333
01:17:31,438 --> 01:17:34,237
It's been a funny
sort of day, hasn't it?
1334
01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:40,456
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, Mum,
come on, Mum stop it, stop it, stop it.
1335
01:17:40,531 --> 01:17:44,161
Don't, Mum. Please don't go.
1336
01:17:55,045 --> 01:17:56,137
What are you doing?
1337
01:17:56,213 --> 01:17:57,339
We have to deal with her.
1338
01:17:57,423 --> 01:17:58,515
Daffs!
1339
01:17:58,591 --> 01:18:00,093
For Christ's sake!
1340
01:18:00,176 --> 01:18:02,429
- She's gonna come back!
- She's not gone anywhere.
1341
01:18:02,511 --> 01:18:03,933
Well, she'll change.
1342
01:18:04,013 --> 01:18:05,686
She's my mum.
1343
01:18:05,764 --> 01:18:08,643
- She's a zombie.
- Don't say that!
1344
01:18:08,726 --> 01:18:11,696
Move aside. I'm gonna count to three.
1345
01:18:11,770 --> 01:18:15,274
One, two, three!
1346
01:18:15,983 --> 01:18:17,735
Don't point that gun at my mum!
1347
01:18:17,818 --> 01:18:19,536
Shaun, calm down!
1348
01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:21,205
Don't point that gun at Barbara!
1349
01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:23,360
- Ed, don't exacerbate things!
- What does that mean?
1350
01:18:23,365 --> 01:18:25,493
This isn't exactly fair!
1351
01:18:25,576 --> 01:18:26,919
- Here.
- Thank you.
1352
01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:28,496
It's okay.
1353
01:18:29,830 --> 01:18:32,174
Please, can we just stop
and think about this?
1354
01:18:32,249 --> 01:18:34,377
Tell him to put the gun down!
1355
01:18:34,460 --> 01:18:36,713
Look, Lizzie, she's gonna change.
You know I'm right.
1356
01:18:36,795 --> 01:18:39,924
And when she does, she'll come
back and she'll kill all of us.
1357
01:18:40,007 --> 01:18:41,759
That's what your ex
can't seem to realize.
1358
01:18:41,842 --> 01:18:43,560
That's what this
is about, isn't it?
1359
01:18:43,636 --> 01:18:45,479
It's just... He just...
He doesn't like me!
1360
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:47,773
He's always hated me and now
he wants to shoot my mum!
1361
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:48,849
She's not...
1362
01:18:48,933 --> 01:18:51,356
You've never thought I deserved
her, that I was good enough.
1363
01:18:51,435 --> 01:18:52,402
What are you talking about?
1364
01:18:52,478 --> 01:18:55,197
Oh, come on, we all know
you're in love with Liz!
1365
01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:56,364
That is not true!
1366
01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:58,283
- Yes, it is!
- That is not true.
1367
01:18:58,359 --> 01:19:00,327
- Yes, it is.
- What?
1368
01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:03,906
I know you only hung out with me
at college to get close to Liz.
1369
01:19:03,989 --> 01:19:05,206
And when she knocked you back,
1370
01:19:05,282 --> 01:19:06,909
I was there
to pick up the pieces.
1371
01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:10,371
I've come to terms with
that, Daffs, why can't you?
1372
01:19:11,413 --> 01:19:13,461
Lizzie, I want you to know
that my feelings for you
1373
01:19:13,540 --> 01:19:14,541
have always been essentially...
1374
01:19:14,625 --> 01:19:18,095
David, please! There are slightly
more pressing matters at hand here!
1375
01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:20,764
Like the fact that "Daffs"
is pointing a gun at my mum!
1376
01:19:20,839 --> 01:19:23,092
I'm not the one who's being
unreasonable, "Pickle."
1377
01:19:23,175 --> 01:19:24,927
For Christ's sake,
she's not dead!
1378
01:19:25,010 --> 01:19:28,014
She's finished! For a hero,
you're quite a hypocrite!
1379
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:29,144
You're the one
that's gone from being
1380
01:19:29,223 --> 01:19:31,146
a Chartered Accountant
to Charlton Heston!
1381
01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:33,023
I'm not a Chartered Accountant!
1382
01:19:33,102 --> 01:19:34,399
Well, you look like one!
1383
01:19:34,478 --> 01:19:36,355
- Yeah!
- I'm a lecturer!
1384
01:19:36,438 --> 01:19:38,315
- You're a twat!
- Yeah!
1385
01:19:38,399 --> 01:19:42,074
She's not your mum anymore! In a
minute she'll be just another zombie!
1386
01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:44,871
- Don't say that.
- We're not using the Z word.
1387
01:19:44,947 --> 01:19:49,874
Please, can we just
calm the fuck down?
1388
01:19:51,161 --> 01:19:54,882
Now, I can see
what David is trying to say...
1389
01:19:54,957 --> 01:19:57,210
- Thank you, Lizzie.
- ...even if he is being a twat!
1390
01:19:57,293 --> 01:19:58,340
Yep.
1391
01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:02,473
And, Shaun, Shaun, look at me.
1392
01:20:04,591 --> 01:20:08,312
I can't begin to imagine
how hard this must be for you,
1393
01:20:08,387 --> 01:20:10,856
but we can't afford
to fall apart.
1394
01:20:12,057 --> 01:20:16,483
Shaun, babe, I know
you don't wanna hear this.
1395
01:20:35,998 --> 01:20:37,341
You do it.
1396
01:20:48,093 --> 01:20:49,640
I'm sorry, Mum.
1397
01:20:51,638 --> 01:20:52,810
Do it!
1398
01:21:08,947 --> 01:21:12,042
Well, I think we're all agreed,
1399
01:21:12,117 --> 01:21:13,994
you did the right thing there.
1400
01:21:19,124 --> 01:21:21,001
David, no!
1401
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:24,551
David.
1402
01:21:24,630 --> 01:21:26,724
Right, I'm leaving.
1403
01:21:26,799 --> 01:21:28,551
- What?
- I'm not staying here.
1404
01:21:28,634 --> 01:21:30,728
David, don't, it's suicide.
1405
01:21:30,803 --> 01:21:31,975
I think you should go.
1406
01:21:32,054 --> 01:21:33,814
We will. We can run,
we can defend ourselves.
1407
01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:35,641
What do you mean "we?"
1408
01:21:35,724 --> 01:21:36,816
What do you mean, "What do
I mean 'we"'?
1409
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:40,567
Opening that door now would be a
very, very silly thing to do.
1410
01:21:40,646 --> 01:21:42,146
So, are you gonna stay
here with him?
1411
01:21:42,147 --> 01:21:43,820
- Look, Shaun...
- After everything he's gotten us into!
1412
01:21:43,899 --> 01:21:45,651
You let me finish!
1413
01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:47,486
Shaun didn't ask you
to come here.
1414
01:21:47,569 --> 01:21:49,162
You came for the same
reason that I did,
1415
01:21:49,238 --> 01:21:50,455
'cause you didn't know
what else to do.
1416
01:21:50,531 --> 01:21:52,078
Get away from that door
this instant!
1417
01:21:52,157 --> 01:21:53,784
- But...
- David!
1418
01:22:02,835 --> 01:22:04,337
I'm so sorry, Dianne.
1419
01:22:04,920 --> 01:22:08,675
Maybe I'm not the one
you should be apologizing to.
1420
01:22:10,509 --> 01:22:11,726
Shaun...
1421
01:22:17,558 --> 01:22:20,061
David! No!
1422
01:22:20,144 --> 01:22:23,023
No, no, no, no!
1423
01:22:23,897 --> 01:22:25,319
David!
1424
01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:27,276
No, no!
1425
01:22:27,359 --> 01:22:28,861
David!
1426
01:22:49,339 --> 01:22:50,841
David!
1427
01:22:52,092 --> 01:22:53,969
- Dianne, no!
- Dianne, no!
1428
01:22:54,052 --> 01:22:55,474
I'm coming, David!
1429
01:22:56,013 --> 01:22:58,311
David! David!
1430
01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:03,191
Oh, dear.
1431
01:23:03,645 --> 01:23:05,363
- Cocktails?
- Do it.
1432
01:23:16,450 --> 01:23:17,872
Stay back!
1433
01:23:23,665 --> 01:23:25,292
Shaun, hold them!
1434
01:23:28,795 --> 01:23:29,887
Heads!
1435
01:23:34,343 --> 01:23:36,266
- Ed!
- Hurry up!
1436
01:23:37,846 --> 01:23:39,769
Shauny, look who it is.
1437
01:23:40,390 --> 01:23:42,063
Fuck-a-doodle-doo!
1438
01:23:44,603 --> 01:23:45,855
Ed!
1439
01:23:46,355 --> 01:23:48,107
- Shaun!
- Ed!
1440
01:23:48,190 --> 01:23:50,284
Don't groan at me,
you thick fuck!
1441
01:23:50,359 --> 01:23:52,111
I can't hold them!
1442
01:23:55,656 --> 01:23:56,908
No!
1443
01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:02,837
- Shaun!
- Pete!
1444
01:24:05,207 --> 01:24:07,380
I said, leave him alone!
1445
01:24:10,462 --> 01:24:13,716
Ed! Ed!
1446
01:24:13,799 --> 01:24:15,972
Shaun, bar!
1447
01:24:27,729 --> 01:24:28,981
Ed!
1448
01:24:30,190 --> 01:24:31,487
Ed!
1449
01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:34,240
Ed!
1450
01:24:35,320 --> 01:24:36,367
What?
1451
01:24:37,573 --> 01:24:39,621
Chuck us a cloth will you?
1452
01:24:52,379 --> 01:24:54,757
- Where are the shells?
- They're on the bar.
1453
01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:56,183
Oh, fuck!
1454
01:24:59,928 --> 01:25:01,180
Fuck it!
1455
01:25:02,723 --> 01:25:04,725
What are we gonna do?
Where are we gonna go?
1456
01:25:04,808 --> 01:25:06,936
- The cellar!
- Maybe we can get out.
1457
01:25:07,019 --> 01:25:09,113
There's a barrel hatch
that leads into the street.
1458
01:25:09,187 --> 01:25:10,939
You mean go back outside?
1459
01:25:12,691 --> 01:25:15,035
Oh, give us a fucking break!
1460
01:25:21,199 --> 01:25:22,451
- Go!
- Go!
1461
01:25:33,253 --> 01:25:35,051
I can see the street.
1462
01:25:36,673 --> 01:25:37,890
Come on.
1463
01:25:39,301 --> 01:25:40,769
Come on!
1464
01:25:42,137 --> 01:25:44,356
Why won't it open?
1465
01:25:54,900 --> 01:25:56,994
That's it, isn't it? We're trapped.
1466
01:25:57,069 --> 01:25:58,992
"Hey, let's go
to the Winchester!"
1467
01:25:59,071 --> 01:26:01,244
Whose fucking idea was that?
1468
01:26:01,323 --> 01:26:03,576
Man, I've really
ballsed this up.
1469
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:10,837
- No, you haven't.
- I have, Liz. I couldn't save us.
1470
01:26:10,916 --> 01:26:15,922
I couldn't save Di or David. I couldn't
even save my mum. I'm useless.
1471
01:26:16,004 --> 01:26:19,304
You shouldn't feel
so responsible, you tried.
1472
01:26:19,383 --> 01:26:21,761
You did something,
that's what counts.
1473
01:26:23,428 --> 01:26:25,055
Yeah, I suppose.
1474
01:26:28,517 --> 01:26:30,360
Do you think
they'll get through?
1475
01:26:30,977 --> 01:26:32,479
Yeah.
1476
01:26:34,106 --> 01:26:36,325
How many shells
have we got left?
1477
01:26:38,944 --> 01:26:43,620
Two. I suppose we could take a few
of them out if they stand in a line.
1478
01:26:44,950 --> 01:26:46,873
I wasn't thinking about them.
1479
01:26:46,952 --> 01:26:48,750
I know.
1480
01:26:53,875 --> 01:26:55,593
What about Ed?
There's only two shells.
1481
01:26:55,669 --> 01:26:57,671
I don't mind being eaten.
1482
01:27:02,843 --> 01:27:04,845
How are we gonna do this?
1483
01:27:05,262 --> 01:27:06,764
I don't know.
1484
01:27:07,472 --> 01:27:09,474
One of us has to go first.
1485
01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:12,903
Maybe one should do the other
and then do themselves.
1486
01:27:12,978 --> 01:27:16,653
Maybe you should do me. I'll only
muck it up if I have to do myself.
1487
01:27:25,490 --> 01:27:27,083
Do you know, I don't think
I've got it in me
1488
01:27:27,159 --> 01:27:31,005
to shoot my flatmate, my mum and my
girlfriend all in the same evening.
1489
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:36,168
What makes you think
I've taken you back?
1490
01:27:38,545 --> 01:27:40,923
You don't want to die
single, do you?
1491
01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:44,681
Actually, I would like to be shot.
1492
01:27:46,178 --> 01:27:50,024
Besides, I've changed. I haven't had
a fag since yesterday, I promise.
1493
01:27:50,098 --> 01:27:51,441
He hasn't.
1494
01:27:54,269 --> 01:27:56,488
Maybe we should have one now.
1495
01:27:58,231 --> 01:27:59,858
What...
1496
01:27:59,941 --> 01:28:01,284
You left them in my flat.
1497
01:28:01,359 --> 01:28:02,827
Yeah, in the bin.
1498
01:28:02,903 --> 01:28:04,655
I was desperate.
1499
01:28:04,738 --> 01:28:06,240
Sneaky monkey.
1500
01:28:06,323 --> 01:28:07,791
Sorry.
1501
01:28:07,866 --> 01:28:09,664
I won't say anything.
1502
01:28:22,088 --> 01:28:24,637
Come on,
we're getting out of here.
1503
01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:26,969
I might just stay here.
1504
01:28:27,052 --> 01:28:28,804
Yeah, but we can get out.
1505
01:28:28,887 --> 01:28:30,605
I think you two should make a go of it.
1506
01:28:30,680 --> 01:28:32,273
What are you talking about?
1507
01:28:32,349 --> 01:28:34,317
I only hold you back.
1508
01:28:34,392 --> 01:28:35,735
Yeah, but...
1509
01:28:41,066 --> 01:28:43,160
Maybe you should have this.
1510
01:28:43,944 --> 01:28:45,787
Don't you want it?
1511
01:28:45,862 --> 01:28:48,911
No. I can't hit anything
with it anyway, I'm rubbish.
1512
01:28:52,452 --> 01:28:53,954
Ed, I'm sorry.
1513
01:28:54,704 --> 01:28:56,001
What for?
1514
01:28:57,165 --> 01:28:59,759
'Cause I was shouting
at you earlier on.
1515
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,759
It's all right.
I'm sorry, too.
1516
01:29:03,964 --> 01:29:05,307
It's okay.
1517
01:29:05,382 --> 01:29:08,386
No, I'm sorry, Shaun.
1518
01:29:11,680 --> 01:29:15,605
Oh, God, God.
That's not funny.
1519
01:29:15,684 --> 01:29:17,857
I'll stop doing them
when you stop laughing.
1520
01:29:17,936 --> 01:29:19,563
I'm not laughing.
1521
01:29:33,326 --> 01:29:34,794
You better be off.
1522
01:29:44,296 --> 01:29:46,719
Bye, Ed. Love you.
1523
01:29:47,966 --> 01:29:49,013
Cheers.
1524
01:29:50,510 --> 01:29:52,308
I love you, too, man.
1525
01:29:55,807 --> 01:29:57,480
Gay!
1526
01:30:18,288 --> 01:30:19,505
Ready?
1527
01:30:20,248 --> 01:30:21,841
Ready.
1528
01:30:30,634 --> 01:30:35,356
Section One. Ready. Zombies to
your front. Fire!
1529
01:30:36,431 --> 01:30:39,901
Section One. Targets to your
front. Fire!
1530
01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:58,044
Oh, my God. Shaun!
1531
01:30:58,119 --> 01:30:59,211
Yvonne?
1532
01:31:04,668 --> 01:31:05,965
How you doing?
1533
01:31:06,586 --> 01:31:07,963
- Surviving.
- Surviving.
1534
01:31:08,046 --> 01:31:09,093
They're taking us
somewhere safe.
1535
01:31:09,172 --> 01:31:10,219
I thought you two might wanna...
1536
01:31:10,298 --> 01:31:11,550
- Move it!
- ...tag along.
1537
01:31:12,717 --> 01:31:14,765
Is it just the two of you?
1538
01:31:17,305 --> 01:31:20,229
Well, glad somebody made it.
1539
01:31:22,185 --> 01:31:23,402
Come on.
1540
01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:40,997
Next, we'll hear the story of
10-year-old Enrique Romerez
1541
01:31:41,079 --> 01:31:44,333
who fought off the reanimated
corpses of his entire family.
1542
01:31:44,666 --> 01:31:48,091
It's all coming right up
on Zombies From Hell.
1543
01:31:48,253 --> 01:31:49,971
Six months on and to many
1544
01:31:50,046 --> 01:31:53,095
the events of Z-day
must seem like a bad dream.
1545
01:31:53,174 --> 01:31:57,145
And as we now know, the phenomenon
resulted from the use of highly...
1546
01:31:57,220 --> 01:31:58,597
...not something
I ever expected
1547
01:31:58,680 --> 01:32:01,149
as a newscaster
to have to say on air.
1548
01:32:02,100 --> 01:32:05,229
"Removing the head or destroying
the brain." Incredible.
1549
01:32:05,353 --> 01:32:08,857
Dead excited now, to have a top band
with us, talking about their work,
1550
01:32:08,940 --> 01:32:10,692
for the charity Zombaid.
1551
01:32:10,775 --> 01:32:12,573
The fact that the mobile deceased
1552
01:32:12,652 --> 01:32:14,575
retained their primal instincts
1553
01:32:14,654 --> 01:32:17,749
make them ideal recruitment
for the service industry.
1554
01:32:17,824 --> 01:32:21,203
As well as proving themselves
useful in other roles, such as...
1555
01:32:21,286 --> 01:32:25,462
He can't quite get it. He's fallen,
he's down!
1556
01:32:27,584 --> 01:32:29,006
I don't see nothing wrong with it,
1557
01:32:29,085 --> 01:32:31,554
but I know that some people would
see something wrong with it.
1558
01:32:31,629 --> 01:32:33,597
But he's my husband, you know.
1559
01:32:33,840 --> 01:32:36,935
I still love him, and I still got
the ring on my finger, Trisha.
1560
01:32:37,010 --> 01:32:38,227
You go to bed with it?
1561
01:32:38,303 --> 01:32:39,555
Course I do.
1562
01:32:40,388 --> 01:32:44,143
All right. Okay, you can't
understand why she's with him.
1563
01:32:44,809 --> 01:32:48,188
Okay, what do you say to people that
criticize you for being with...
1564
01:32:48,271 --> 01:32:49,272
Well, they don't have...
1565
01:32:49,355 --> 01:32:50,948
...initial claims that the
virus was caused
1566
01:32:51,024 --> 01:32:52,776
by rage infected monkeys
1567
01:32:52,859 --> 01:32:54,736
have now been dismissed as...
1568
01:32:54,819 --> 01:32:56,071
Hello.
1569
01:33:02,118 --> 01:33:03,916
What's the plan, then?
1570
01:33:04,245 --> 01:33:07,249
Right, a cup of tea,
1571
01:33:07,332 --> 01:33:09,926
then we get the Sundays.
1572
01:33:10,001 --> 01:33:12,504
Head down the Phoenix
for a roast,
1573
01:33:12,587 --> 01:33:14,840
veg out in the pub for a bit,
1574
01:33:15,340 --> 01:33:18,514
then wander home, watch a
bit of telly, go to bed.
1575
01:33:18,593 --> 01:33:19,765
Perfect.
1576
01:33:19,844 --> 01:33:21,141
I'll get the kettle on.
1577
01:33:21,221 --> 01:33:22,689
Can I have two sugars, please?
1578
01:33:23,890 --> 01:33:25,483
Adventurous.
1579
01:33:25,558 --> 01:33:27,936
Actually, I might pop into the
garden for a bit.
1580
01:33:28,019 --> 01:33:29,987
Go on, then.
1581
01:33:30,063 --> 01:33:31,565
Two seconds.
1582
01:33:43,201 --> 01:33:45,704
Player Two has entered the game.
1583
01:33:46,454 --> 01:33:47,626
Ed!
1584
01:33:55,922 --> 01:33:57,094
Yes!