1 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,160 This is your lunch, OK? 2 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,330 Now, I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk. 3 00:00:39,530 --> 00:00:41,230 You can ask one of the big kids where to do that. 4 00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:43,900 You remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you, just in case. 5 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:46,590 Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. 6 00:00:47,070 --> 00:00:49,560 OK? You ready? 7 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,040 I think so. 8 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,110 It's Cady's big day. 9 00:00:56,550 --> 00:00:59,540 I guess it's natural for parents to cry on their kid's first day of school. 10 00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:02,410 But, you know, this usually happens when the kid is 5. 11 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:05,960 I'm 16 and until today, I was home-schooled. 12 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:09,130 I know what you're thinking. "Home-schooled kids are freaks." 13 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:13,960 X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P. Xylocarp. 14 00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:16,460 Or that we're weirdly religious or something. 15 00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:21,170 And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-achion rifle 16 00:01:21,370 --> 00:01:23,770 so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. 17 00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:25,770 And the homosexuals. 18 00:01:25,980 --> 00:01:27,380 - Amen. - Amen. 19 00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:28,980 But my family's totally normal. 20 00:01:29,180 --> 00:01:32,150 Except for the fact that both my parents are research zoologists 21 00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:34,480 and we've spent the last 12 years in Africa. 22 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:36,050 I had a great life. 23 00:01:36,390 --> 00:01:38,620 But then my mom got offered tenure at Northwestern University. 24 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:43,190 So it was goodbye Africa and hello high school. 25 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,090 I'm OK. Sorry. 26 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:48,700 I'll be careful. 27 00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:15,960 Hi. 28 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,030 I don't know if anyone told you about me. 29 00:02:18,230 --> 00:02:20,530 I'm a new student here. My name is Cady Heron. 30 00:02:20,730 --> 00:02:23,600 Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass. 31 00:02:28,070 --> 00:02:31,640 You don't wanna sit there. Kristen Hadley's boyfriend is gonna sit there. 32 00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:34,640 Hey, baby. 33 00:02:41,490 --> 00:02:42,720 He farts a lot. 34 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,860 Hey, everybody. 35 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:57,530 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 36 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,900 It's not you. I'm bad luck. 37 00:03:05,410 --> 00:03:07,140 Ms. Norbury? 38 00:03:07,410 --> 00:03:08,940 My T-shirt's stuck to my sweater, isn't it? 39 00:03:09,150 --> 00:03:11,080 - Yeah. - Fantastic. 40 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,580 Is everything all right in here? 41 00:03:12,790 --> 00:03:16,050 - Oh, yeah. - So... 42 00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:18,350 ...how was your summer? - I got divorced. 43 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,520 My carpal tunnel came back. 44 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,530 - I win. - Yes, you do. 45 00:03:25,730 --> 00:03:27,290 Well, I just wanted to let everyone know 46 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,300 that we have a new student joining us. 47 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:32,230 She just moved here all the way from Africa. 48 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,000 Welcome. 49 00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:37,470 - I'm from Michigan. - Great. 50 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,410 Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. 51 00:03:40,610 --> 00:03:42,170 - Where are you, Cady? - That's me. 52 00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:44,940 - It's pronounced like Katie. - My apologies. 53 00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:46,780 I have a nephew named Anfernee, 54 00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:49,280 and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. 55 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,320 Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact 56 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,150 that my sister named him Anfernee. 57 00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:55,390 Well, welcome, Cady. 58 00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:58,560 - And thank you, Mr. Duvall. - Well, thank you. 59 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,160 And... 60 00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:03,300 ...if you need anything or if you wanna talk to somebody... 61 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:04,730 Thanks. 62 00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:08,340 Maybe some other time, when my shirt isn't see-through. 63 00:04:08,910 --> 00:04:10,500 OK. 64 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,910 OK. Good day, everybody. 65 00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:17,380 The first day of school was a blur. 66 00:04:17,580 --> 00:04:20,350 A stressful, surreal blur. 67 00:04:20,550 --> 00:04:22,710 I got in trouble for the most random things. 68 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,620 - Where are you going? - Oh, I have to go to the bathroom. 69 00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:27,650 You need the lavatory pass. 70 00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:30,130 OK. Can I have the lavatory pass? 71 00:04:30,930 --> 00:04:32,420 Nice try. Have a seat. 72 00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:35,730 I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me, 73 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:37,330 where they were always yelling at me. 74 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:39,160 - Don't read ahead! - No green pen! 75 00:04:39,370 --> 00:04:40,530 No food in class! 76 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:52,980 I told you, I saw the whole thing. 77 00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:54,850 - Everything. - Did you see nipple? 78 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:58,620 - It only counts if you saw a nipple. - That's true, dude. 79 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,850 I had a lot of friends in Africa. 80 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,620 What? 81 00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:07,820 But so far, none in Evanston. 82 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,870 Hey. How was your first day? 83 00:05:38,830 --> 00:05:40,360 Is that your natural hair color? 84 00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:42,800 - Yeah. - It's gorgeous. 85 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,230 Thank you. 86 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:46,190 See, this is the color I want. 87 00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,870 This is Damian. He's almost too gay to function. 88 00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:52,210 - Nice to meet you. - Nice wig, Janis. 89 00:05:52,410 --> 00:05:54,740 - What's it made of? - Your mom's chest hair! 90 00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:58,010 - I'm Janis. - Hi, I'm Cady. 91 00:05:58,550 --> 00:06:00,920 Do you guys know where Room G 14 is? 92 00:06:02,620 --> 00:06:05,020 "Health, Tuesday/Thursday, Room G 14." 93 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,620 I think that's in the back building. 94 00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:10,290 - Yeah, that's in the back building. - Yeah, we'll take you there. 95 00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:12,690 Thanks. 96 00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:17,230 Watch out, please! New meat coming through! 97 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,470 "Health. Spanish." 98 00:06:20,670 --> 00:06:22,730 You're taking 12th-grade calculus? 99 00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:25,710 - Yeah, I like math. - Why? 100 00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:27,810 Because it's the same in every country. 101 00:06:28,710 --> 00:06:31,650 That's beautiful. This girl is deep. 102 00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:33,880 Where's the back building? 103 00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:36,390 It burned down in 1987. 104 00:06:36,890 --> 00:06:39,080 Won't we get in some sort of trouble for this? 105 00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:41,120 Why would we get you into trouble? 106 00:06:41,330 --> 00:06:43,020 We're your friends. 107 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:47,090 I know it's wrong to skip class, but Janis said we were friends. 108 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,890 And I was in no position to pass up friends. 109 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:53,300 I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of health class. 110 00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:57,410 Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. 111 00:06:57,610 --> 00:06:59,310 Don't have sex in the missionary position, 112 00:06:59,510 --> 00:07:00,940 don't have sex standing up. 113 00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:03,610 Just don't do it, promise? 114 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:06,510 OK, everybody take some rubbers. 115 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,710 Why didn't they just keep home-schooling you? 116 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,650 They wanted me to get socialized. 117 00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:13,450 Oh, you'll get socialized, all right. A little slice like you. 118 00:07:13,790 --> 00:07:16,760 - What are you talking about? - You're a regulation hottie. 119 00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,960 - What? - Own it. 120 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,600 How do you spell your name again, Cady? 121 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,130 It's Cady. C-A-D-Y. 122 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,040 Yeah, I'm gonna call you Cady. 123 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:29,340 In the name of all that is holy, will you look at Karen Smith's gym clothes? 124 00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:32,200 Of course all The Plastics are in the same gym class. 125 00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:35,070 - Who are The Plastics? - They're teen royalty. 126 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,480 If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would always be on the cover. 127 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,280 That one there, that's Karen Smith. 128 00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:43,850 She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. 129 00:07:44,490 --> 00:07:46,550 Damian sat next to her in English last year. 130 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,560 She asked me how to spell "orange". 131 00:07:49,630 --> 00:07:52,500 And that little one? That's Gretchen Wieners. 132 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:55,190 She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel. 133 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,990 Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business. 134 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,030 She knows everything about everyone. 135 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,000 That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets. 136 00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:06,840 And evil takes a human form in Regina George. 137 00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:10,240 Don't be fooled, because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, 138 00:08:10,450 --> 00:08:15,580 slut-faced ho-bag. But in reality, she is so much more than that. 139 00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:17,020 She's the queen bee. 140 00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:19,780 The star. Those other two are just her little workers. 141 00:08:19,990 --> 00:08:21,580 Regina George. 142 00:08:21,790 --> 00:08:24,730 How do I even begin to explain Regina George? 143 00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:26,690 Regina George is flawless. 144 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:29,160 She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. 145 00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:31,390 I hear her hair's insured for $10,000. 146 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,400 I hear she does car commercials. In Japan. 147 00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:36,340 Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues. 148 00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:38,170 One time, she met John Stamos on a plane. 149 00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:39,870 And he told her she was pretty. 150 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,100 One time, she punched me in the face. 151 00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:43,940 It was awesome. 152 00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:47,280 She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen. 153 00:08:47,490 --> 00:08:49,450 - Who cares? - I care. 154 00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,490 Every year, the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen 155 00:08:51,690 --> 00:08:52,950 called The Spring Fling. 156 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,250 And whomsoever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen 157 00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:57,330 automatically becomes head of the Student Activities Committee. 158 00:08:57,530 --> 00:09:00,360 And since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, 159 00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,560 I would say, yeah, I care. 160 00:09:02,770 --> 00:09:05,860 Damian, you've truly out-gayed yourself. 161 00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:10,830 Here. This map is gonna be your guide to North Shore. 162 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,530 Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial 163 00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:15,150 because you got everybody there. 164 00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:17,910 You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, 165 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,050 preps, JV jocks, 166 00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:23,480 Asian nerds, 167 00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:25,720 cool Asians, 168 00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:27,390 varsity jocks, 169 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,790 unfriendly black hotties, 170 00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:32,320 girls who eat their feelings, 171 00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:34,790 girls who don't eat anything, 172 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,470 desperate wannabes, 173 00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,160 burnouts, 174 00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:40,440 sexually active band geeks, 175 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:42,940 the greatest people you will ever meet 176 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,710 and the worst. Beware of The Plastics. 177 00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:51,610 Hey. We're doing a lunchtime survey of new students. 178 00:09:51,820 --> 00:09:53,080 Can you answer a few questions? 179 00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:56,250 - OK. - Is your muffin buttered? 180 00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:58,390 What? 181 00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:02,660 Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? 182 00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:04,830 - My what? - Is he bothering you? 183 00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:07,000 Jason, why are you such a skeez? 184 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,760 I'm just being friendly. 185 00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:10,770 You were supposed to call me last night. 186 00:10:10,970 --> 00:10:14,100 Jason. You do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen 187 00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:17,800 and then scam on some poor, innocent girl right in front of us three days later. 188 00:10:18,010 --> 00:10:19,480 She's not interested. 189 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:20,940 Do you wanna have sex with him? 190 00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:24,720 - No, thank you. - Good. So it's settled. 191 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,510 So you can go shave your back now. 192 00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:28,580 Bye, Jason. 193 00:10:28,790 --> 00:10:30,620 Bitch. 194 00:10:30,820 --> 00:10:33,660 Wait. Sit down. 195 00:10:35,030 --> 00:10:36,650 Seriously, sit down. 196 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,590 Why don't I know you? 197 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,200 I'm new. I just moved here from Africa. 198 00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:46,870 - What? - I used to be home-schooled. 199 00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:48,440 Wait. What? 200 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,400 - My mom taught me at home... - No, no. 201 00:10:50,610 --> 00:10:52,080 I know what home-school is. I'm not retarded. 202 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,400 So you've actually never been to a real school before? 203 00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:57,570 Shut up. 204 00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,880 Shut up. 205 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,990 - I didn't say anything. - Home-schooled. 206 00:11:03,190 --> 00:11:05,520 - That's really interesting. - Thanks. 207 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,190 But you're, like, really pretty. 208 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,620 - Thank you. - So you agree. 209 00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:11,560 - What? - You think you're really pretty. 210 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:15,030 - Oh, I don't know... - Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. 211 00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:18,070 - Where did you get it? - Oh, my mom made it for me. 212 00:11:18,270 --> 00:11:20,860 - It's adorable. - Oh, it's so fetch. 213 00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:24,440 - What is "fetch"? - Oh, it's, like, slang. From England. 214 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,080 So if you're from Africa... 215 00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:28,340 ...why are you white? 216 00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:31,710 Oh, my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white. 217 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,410 Could you give us some privacy for, like, one second? 218 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,420 Yeah, sure. 219 00:11:37,420 --> 00:11:38,860 What are you doing? 220 00:11:42,730 --> 00:11:44,750 OK, you should just know that we don't do this a lot, 221 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,230 so this is, like, a really huge deal. 222 00:11:47,430 --> 00:11:49,130 We wanna invite you to have lunch with us 223 00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:50,960 every day for the rest of the week. 224 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:53,100 - Oh, it's OK... - Coolness. 225 00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:54,530 So we'll see you tomorrow. 226 00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:57,000 On Wednesdays, we wear pink. 227 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,410 Oh, my God! OK, you have to do it, OK? 228 00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:02,240 And then you have to tell me all the horrible things that Regina says. 229 00:12:02,510 --> 00:12:04,310 Regina seems sweet. 230 00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:06,080 Regina George is not sweet. 231 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,850 She's a scum-sucking road whore! She ruined my life! 232 00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:10,750 She's fabulous, but she's evil. 233 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,950 - Hey, get out of here! - Oh, my God, Danny DeVito. 234 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,990 I love your work! 235 00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:16,990 - Why do you hate her? - What do you mean? 236 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,130 Regina. You seem to really hate her. 237 00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:21,130 Yes. What's your question? 238 00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:23,390 - Well, my question is, why? - Regina started this rumor 239 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,470 - that Janis was... - Damian! Shall we not? 240 00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,330 Now, look. This isn't about hating her, OK? 241 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,300 I just think that it would be, like, a fun little experiment 242 00:12:30,510 --> 00:12:33,070 if you were to hang out with them and then tell us everything that they say. 243 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,340 - What do we even talk about? - Hair products. 244 00:12:35,550 --> 00:12:37,280 - Ashton Kutcher. - Is that a band? 245 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,040 Would you just do it? Please? 246 00:12:40,690 --> 00:12:42,980 OK, fine. Do you have anything pink? 247 00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:44,950 - Yes. - No. 248 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:48,220 By eigtht period, I was so happy to get to math class. 249 00:12:48,430 --> 00:12:50,830 I mean, I'm good at math. I understand math. 250 00:12:51,030 --> 00:12:52,930 Nothing in math class could mess me up. 251 00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:55,300 Hey, do you have a pencil I can borrow? 252 00:12:57,540 --> 00:12:59,630 I've only had one other crush in my life. 253 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,810 His name was Nfume, and we were 5. 254 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,340 It didn't work out. 255 00:13:08,450 --> 00:13:10,610 But this one hit me like a big, yellow school bus. 256 00:13:10,820 --> 00:13:12,880 - Cady, what do you say? - He was... 257 00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:14,520 So cute. 258 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:20,420 I mean, A-sub-N equals N plus one over four. 259 00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:22,090 That's right. 260 00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:24,260 That's good. Very good. 261 00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:26,290 All right, let's talk about your homework. 262 00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:30,230 Hey. How was your second day? 263 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,730 - Fine. - Were people nice? 264 00:13:33,370 --> 00:13:35,500 - No. - Did you make any friends? 265 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,700 Yeah. 266 00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:42,370 Having lunch with The Plastics was like leaving the actual world 267 00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:44,070 and entering "Girl World". 268 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,310 And Girl World had a lot of rules. 269 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,420 You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, 270 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:51,320 and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. 271 00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:54,260 So I guess you picked today. 272 00:13:54,590 --> 00:13:57,650 Oh, and we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays. 273 00:13:57,860 --> 00:14:01,200 Now, if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch. 274 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,390 I mean, not just you. Like, any of us. 275 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,400 OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today, 276 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,870 I would be sitting over there with the art freaks. 277 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,270 Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us 278 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,280 because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. 279 00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,670 Well, I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first 280 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,040 - if it looks good on you. - I wouldn't? 281 00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:22,220 Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. 282 00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:26,880 Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong. 283 00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:30,260 A hundred and twenty calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that? 284 00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,400 Forty-eight into 120? 285 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,230 I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat. 286 00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:37,030 It's 40 percent. 287 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,400 Well, 48 over 120 equals X over 100, 288 00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:42,940 and then you cross-multiply and get the value of X. 289 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,740 Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries. 290 00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:51,210 So have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet? 291 00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,780 Well, there's this guy in my calculus class... 292 00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:55,820 - Who is it? - It's a senior? 293 00:14:56,090 --> 00:14:58,580 - His name's Aaron Samuels. - No! 294 00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:00,760 Oh, no, you can't like Aaron Samuels. 295 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,620 That's Regina's ex-boyfriend. 296 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:04,060 They went out for a year. 297 00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:05,630 Yeah, and then she was devastated 298 00:15:05,830 --> 00:15:07,230 when he broke up with her last summer. 299 00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:09,560 I thought she dumped him for Shane Oman. 300 00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:12,430 OK, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. 301 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,000 I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism. 302 00:15:15,970 --> 00:15:20,040 Don't worry. I'll never tell Regina what you said. 303 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,080 It'll be our little secret. 304 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:27,250 We define the sum of the infinite geometric series... 305 00:15:27,450 --> 00:15:29,280 Even though I wasn't allowed to like Aaron, 306 00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:32,180 I was still allowed to look at him. 307 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,820 And think about him. 308 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:39,190 And talk to him. 309 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,130 - Hey, Aar... - Hey, you're the Africa girl, right? 310 00:15:41,930 --> 00:15:43,560 - Yeah. - I'm Kevin Gnapoor, 311 00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:45,260 captain of the North Shore Mathletes. 312 00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:48,600 We participate in math challenges against other high schools in the state, 313 00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:51,070 and we can get twice as much funding if we've got a girl. 314 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:52,830 So you should think about joining. 315 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,540 - Oh, you'd be perfect for it. - Yeah, definitely. 316 00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:58,010 Great, great. Let me give you my card. 317 00:16:01,490 --> 00:16:02,780 OK, so think it over. 318 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,050 Because we'd like to get jackets. 319 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:08,420 OK. 320 00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:22,470 Hey! 321 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,200 Get in, loser. We're going shopping. 322 00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:28,800 Regina's like the Barbie doll I never had. 323 00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:31,380 I'd never seen anybody so glamorous. 324 00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:36,810 - So how do you like North Shore? - It's good. 325 00:16:37,020 --> 00:16:38,460 I think I'm joining the Mathletes. 326 00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:39,890 - No! No, no. - No, no. 327 00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,650 You cannot do that. That is social suicide. 328 00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:45,490 Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you. 329 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,900 Being at Old Orctard Mall kind of reminded me of being home in Africa. 330 00:17:00,110 --> 00:17:03,410 By the watering hole. When the animals are in heat. 331 00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:12,790 Oh, my God, there's Jason! 332 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,690 Where? Oh, there he is. 333 00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,730 - And he's with Taylor Wedell. - I heard they're going out. 334 00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:22,530 Wait. Jason's not going out with Taylor. 335 00:17:22,730 --> 00:17:25,070 No. He cannot blow you off like that. 336 00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:28,540 He's such a little skeez. Give me your phone. 337 00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:32,070 - You're not gonna call him, right? - Do you think I'm an idiot? 338 00:17:32,410 --> 00:17:33,840 No. 339 00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:38,810 - Wedell on South Boulevard. - Caller ID. 340 00:17:39,020 --> 00:17:40,680 Not when you connect from Information. 341 00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,110 - Hello? - Hello. 342 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,750 May I please speak to Taylor Wedell? 343 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,580 She's not home yet. Who's calling? 344 00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:47,760 Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. 345 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,550 I have her test results. If you can have her give me a call as soon as she can. 346 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,060 It's urgent. Thank you. 347 00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:56,990 She's not going out with anyone. 348 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,760 OK, that was so fetch. 349 00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:09,010 Mom. 350 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,490 Your house is really nice. 351 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,630 I know, right? 352 00:18:25,830 --> 00:18:27,390 Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. 353 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,760 They're hard as rocks. 354 00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:33,500 I'm home! Hey, Kylie. 355 00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:35,530 Hey. 356 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:40,500 Hey, hey, hey! How are my best girlfriends? 357 00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:42,480 Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady. 358 00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:44,710 Hello, sweetheart. 359 00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:48,420 - Hi. - Welcome to our home. 360 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:54,720 Just want you to know, if you need anything, don't be shy, OK? 361 00:18:54,930 --> 00:18:57,830 There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom. 362 00:18:58,030 --> 00:19:00,620 I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina? 363 00:19:00,830 --> 00:19:02,300 - Please stop talking. - OK. 364 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:05,590 I'm gonna make you girls a "hump day" treat. 365 00:19:11,210 --> 00:19:12,870 This is your room? 366 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,310 It was my parents' room, but I made them trade me. 367 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,020 Hey, put on 98.8. 368 00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,160 Cady, do you even know who sings this? 369 00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:29,430 - The Spice Girls? - I love her. 370 00:19:29,630 --> 00:19:30,890 She's like a Martian. 371 00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:34,430 - God, my hips are huge! - Oh, please. I hate my calves. 372 00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:37,330 At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders. 373 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,160 I used to think there was just fat and skinny. 374 00:19:40,370 --> 00:19:42,770 Apparently, there's a lot of things that can be wrong on your body. 375 00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:45,770 - My hairline is so weird. - My pores are huge. 376 00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:47,270 My nail beds suck. 377 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,550 I have really bad breath in the morning. 378 00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:58,210 Hey, you guys. Happy hour is from 4 to 6! 379 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,650 Thanks. 380 00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:04,400 Is there alcohol in this? 381 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,050 Oh, God, honey, no. What kind of mother do you think I am? 382 00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:11,460 Do you want a bit? If you're gonna drink, I'd rather you do it in the house. 383 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,190 - No, thank you. - OK. 384 00:20:13,410 --> 00:20:17,870 So, you guys, what is the 411? 385 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,670 What has everybody been up to? 386 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,910 What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything. 387 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,240 What are you guys listening to? What's the cool jams? 388 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:27,820 Mom. 389 00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:30,420 - Could you go fix your hair? - OK. 390 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:34,060 You girls keep me young. Oh, I love you so much. 391 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,960 Oh, my God, I remember this. 392 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,290 - I haven't looked at that in forever. - Come check it out, Cady. 393 00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,730 It's our Burn Book. 394 00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:45,770 See, we cut out girls' pictures from the yearbook, 395 00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:47,900 and then we wrote comments. 396 00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:51,100 - "Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch." - Still true. 397 00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:54,770 - "Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin." - Still half true. 398 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,780 "Amber D'Alessio." She made out with a hot dog. 399 00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:02,090 "Janis Ian, dyke." 400 00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:05,290 - Who is that? - I think that's that kid Damian. 401 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,320 Yeah. He's almost too gay to function. 402 00:21:08,630 --> 00:21:11,250 That's funny. Put that in there. 403 00:21:11,460 --> 00:21:14,630 Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK when Janis said it. 404 00:21:15,470 --> 00:21:17,440 And they have this Burn Book where they write mean things 405 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,100 - about all the girls in our grade. - What does it say about me? 406 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,630 - You're not in it. - Those bitches. 407 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,540 - Will this minimize my pores? - No. Cady, 408 00:21:25,740 --> 00:21:27,210 you gotta steal that book. 409 00:21:27,410 --> 00:21:29,140 - No way! - Oh, come on. We could publish it, 410 00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:31,820 and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is. 411 00:21:32,020 --> 00:21:34,710 - I don't steal. - That is for your feet. 412 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,910 Cady, there are two kinds of evil people. 413 00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,520 People who do evil stuff, 414 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:43,320 and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it. 415 00:21:43,630 --> 00:21:48,070 Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit? 416 00:21:48,470 --> 00:21:49,900 Oh, my God, that's Ms. Norbury. 417 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,530 I love seeing teachers outside of school. 418 00:21:51,740 --> 00:21:53,830 It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. 419 00:21:55,110 --> 00:21:57,010 Hey, guys, what's up? I didn't know you worked here. 420 00:21:57,210 --> 00:21:59,770 Yeah, moderately priced soaps are my calling. 421 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,880 - You shopping? - No, I'm just here with my boyfriend. 422 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,810 Joking. Sometimes older people make jokes. 423 00:22:09,020 --> 00:22:11,580 My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk. 424 00:22:11,790 --> 00:22:13,880 Your nana and I have that in common. 425 00:22:14,090 --> 00:22:16,790 No, actually, I'm just here because I bartend a couple nights a week 426 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,720 down at P. J. Calamity's. 427 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,600 Cady, I hope you do join Mathletes, you know, 428 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,160 because we start in a couple weeks 429 00:22:23,370 --> 00:22:25,000 and I would love to have a girl on the team, 430 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,500 just, you know, so the team could meet a girl. 431 00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:29,670 - I think I'm gonna do it. - Great. 432 00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:32,140 You can't join Mathletes. It's social suicide. 433 00:22:32,340 --> 00:22:34,640 Thanks, Damian. 434 00:22:34,950 --> 00:22:38,400 Well, this has been sufficiently awkward. 435 00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:40,550 And I'll see you guys tomorrow. 436 00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:42,340 - Bye. - Bye. 437 00:22:42,550 --> 00:22:45,720 Oh, man, that is bleak. 438 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,790 So when are you gonna see Regina again? 439 00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:50,060 I can't spy on her anymore. It's weird. 440 00:22:50,260 --> 00:22:54,100 Come on, she's never gonna find out. It'll be like our little secret. 441 00:22:57,500 --> 00:22:59,030 - Hello? - I know your secret. 442 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,470 Oh, God, busted. 443 00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:02,900 Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool. 444 00:23:03,110 --> 00:23:04,700 Secret? What are you saying about? 445 00:23:04,910 --> 00:23:07,040 Gretchen told me that you like Aaron Samuels. 446 00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:09,440 I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want. 447 00:23:09,650 --> 00:23:11,980 But let me just tell you something about Aaron: 448 00:23:12,180 --> 00:23:16,520 All he cares about is school and his mom and his friends. 449 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:18,990 - Is that bad? - But if you like him... 450 00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:22,350 Whatever. I mean, I could talk to him for you if you want. 451 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,430 Really? You would do that? I mean, nothing embarrassing, though, right? 452 00:23:25,630 --> 00:23:28,220 Oh, no, trust me. I know exactly how to play it. 453 00:23:28,630 --> 00:23:32,660 But wait. Aren't you so mad at Gretchen for telling me? 454 00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:34,240 - No. - Because if you are, 455 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,640 you can tell me. It was a really bitchy thing for her to do. 456 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,810 Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad. 457 00:23:41,010 --> 00:23:42,380 I mean, I guess she just likes the attention. 458 00:23:42,580 --> 00:23:44,210 See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you. 459 00:23:44,420 --> 00:23:45,970 I can't believe you think I like attention! 460 00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:48,880 OK, love you. See you tomorrow. 461 00:23:49,450 --> 00:23:51,620 I had survived my first three-way calling attack. 462 00:23:52,090 --> 00:23:55,550 And with Regina's blessing, I started talking to Aaron more and more. 463 00:23:55,930 --> 00:23:58,230 On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was. 464 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,190 It's October 3rd. 465 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,260 Two weeks later, we spoke again. 466 00:24:02,470 --> 00:24:04,160 It's raining. 467 00:24:04,370 --> 00:24:05,890 Yeah. 468 00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:07,870 But I wanted things to move faster. 469 00:24:08,070 --> 00:24:10,440 So I followed my instincts. 470 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,370 Hey, I'm totally lost. Can you help me? 471 00:24:13,580 --> 00:24:14,810 - But I wasn't lost. - Yeah. 472 00:24:15,010 --> 00:24:16,880 I knew exactly what Ms. Norbury was talking about. 473 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:20,050 It's a factorial, so you multiply each one by N. 474 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,480 Wrong. 475 00:24:21,690 --> 00:24:22,980 Is that the summation? 476 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:25,650 Yeah, they're the same thing. 477 00:24:25,860 --> 00:24:27,720 Wrong. He was so wrong. 478 00:24:27,930 --> 00:24:31,160 Thanks. I... I get it now. 479 00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:35,030 Lights, please. OK. See you guys tomorrow. 480 00:24:36,930 --> 00:24:39,460 We're having a Halloween party at my friend Chris' tonight. 481 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,940 You wanna come? 482 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,800 Yeah, sure. 483 00:24:44,010 --> 00:24:46,240 Great. Here's where it is. 484 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,740 It's a costume party. People get pretty into it. 485 00:24:49,110 --> 00:24:50,550 OK. 486 00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:53,880 That flier admits one person only, 487 00:24:54,090 --> 00:24:56,180 so don't bring some other guy with you. 488 00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:58,210 "Grool." 489 00:24:58,860 --> 00:25:01,150 I meant to say "cool" and then I started to say "great". 490 00:25:01,460 --> 00:25:04,490 Right. Well... grool. 491 00:25:05,430 --> 00:25:07,730 See you tonight. 492 00:25:09,070 --> 00:25:12,090 Hey, Africa. You staying for the Mathletes meeting? 493 00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:14,330 Yeah, I'll be right back. 494 00:25:16,070 --> 00:25:19,910 OK, I lied. But I had to go home and work on my costume. 495 00:25:20,450 --> 00:25:23,440 In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes 496 00:25:23,650 --> 00:25:24,980 and beg for candy. 497 00:25:25,180 --> 00:25:27,740 In Girl World, Halloween is the one nigth a year 498 00:25:27,950 --> 00:25:29,540 when a girl can dress like a total slut 499 00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:31,720 and no other girls can say anything about it. 500 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:33,750 The hard-core girls just wear lingerie 501 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,550 and some form of animal ears. 502 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,560 Doesn't she look great, honey? 503 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,600 - What are you? - I'm a mouse. 504 00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:46,590 Unfortunately, no one told me about the slut rule. 505 00:25:46,970 --> 00:25:49,530 So I showed up like this. 506 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:56,970 Hey. 507 00:25:58,950 --> 00:26:01,710 Yes! Yes! 508 00:26:06,660 --> 00:26:08,150 Hey. 509 00:26:08,690 --> 00:26:10,460 Why are you dressed so scary? 510 00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:12,620 It's Halloween. 511 00:26:12,830 --> 00:26:14,320 Have you seen Jason? 512 00:26:14,670 --> 00:26:16,760 You know who's looking fine tonight? 513 00:26:16,970 --> 00:26:18,990 Seth Mosakowski. 514 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,970 - OK, you did not just say that. - What? He's a good kisser. 515 00:26:23,170 --> 00:26:24,510 He's your cousin. 516 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,470 Yeah, but he's my first cousin. 517 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,850 - Right. - So you have your cousins 518 00:26:29,050 --> 00:26:30,710 and then you have your first cousins, 519 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,480 - then you have your second cousins... - No, honey. 520 00:26:34,150 --> 00:26:35,520 That's not right, is it? 521 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,310 That is so not right. 522 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,510 - Hey! - Hey. 523 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,190 You made it. 524 00:26:41,390 --> 00:26:45,350 And you are... a zombie bride. 525 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,260 An "ex-wife". 526 00:26:47,470 --> 00:26:49,490 Love it. Can I get you something to drink? 527 00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:51,170 - Yeah. - Be right back. 528 00:26:51,370 --> 00:26:53,100 Thanks. 529 00:26:54,710 --> 00:26:56,200 Karen, stop it. 530 00:26:56,610 --> 00:26:58,840 - Don't, Karen... - Hey, Seth! 531 00:27:02,510 --> 00:27:03,780 Hey. 532 00:27:03,980 --> 00:27:05,680 Oh, no. 533 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,210 Didn't anybody tell you? 534 00:27:07,420 --> 00:27:08,980 You were supposed to wear a costume. 535 00:27:09,350 --> 00:27:12,320 Shut up. I need to talk to you. 536 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,890 - You know that girl Cady? - Yeah, she's cool. 537 00:27:15,090 --> 00:27:16,390 I invited her tonight. 538 00:27:17,730 --> 00:27:20,160 Well, be careful because she has a huge crush on you. 539 00:27:20,570 --> 00:27:22,730 Really? How do you know? 540 00:27:23,470 --> 00:27:25,200 Because she told me. 541 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,870 She tells everybody. It's kind of cute, actually. 542 00:27:28,070 --> 00:27:30,730 She's like a little girl. She, like, writes all over her notebook, 543 00:27:30,940 --> 00:27:32,270 "Mrs. Aaron Samuels." 544 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,940 And she made this T-shirt that says "I heart Aaron" 545 00:27:35,150 --> 00:27:36,980 and she wears it under all her clothes. 546 00:27:37,180 --> 00:27:39,410 - Oh, come on. - Well, who can blame her? 547 00:27:39,620 --> 00:27:40,980 I mean, you're gorgeous. 548 00:27:42,690 --> 00:27:45,210 And OK, look, I'm not saying she's a stalker, 549 00:27:45,420 --> 00:27:47,950 but she saved this Kleenex you used 550 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,600 and she said she's gonna do some kind of African voodoo with it 551 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,460 to make you like her. 552 00:27:54,030 --> 00:27:55,260 What? 553 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:00,870 This was it. 554 00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:03,440 Regina said she would talk to Aaron for me, and now she was. 555 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:08,080 I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend, 556 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,910 so just promise me you won't make fun of her. 557 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,670 Of course I'm not gonna make fun of her. 558 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,940 How could Janis hate Regina? 559 00:28:15,150 --> 00:28:17,210 Ste was such a good... 560 00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:19,450 Slut! 561 00:28:26,060 --> 00:28:28,550 What are you doing? You broke up with me. 562 00:28:28,900 --> 00:28:31,600 That's crazy. Why would I break up with you? 563 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,000 You're so hot. 564 00:28:40,910 --> 00:28:42,640 That's a scary mask, bro. 565 00:28:43,110 --> 00:28:44,710 I had never felt this feeling before. 566 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,580 I could tear my heartbeat in my ears. 567 00:28:46,780 --> 00:28:48,910 My stomach felt like it was going to fall out my butt. 568 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,180 I had this lump in my throat like after you dry-swallow a big pill. 569 00:28:52,390 --> 00:28:55,120 I hated Regina. I hated her! 570 00:29:11,210 --> 00:29:12,700 She took him back. 571 00:29:12,910 --> 00:29:14,570 Regina took Aaron back. 572 00:29:14,950 --> 00:29:17,970 - Oh, no, Cady. - Why would she do that? 573 00:29:18,180 --> 00:29:19,810 Because she's a life-ruiner. 574 00:29:20,020 --> 00:29:21,750 She ruins people's lives. 575 00:29:21,950 --> 00:29:24,050 When we were 13, she made people sign this petition 576 00:29:24,260 --> 00:29:26,120 - saying that Janis was... - Damian! Please! 577 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,190 Look, she's not gonna get away with this again, OK? 578 00:29:28,390 --> 00:29:31,050 - We're gonna do something. - We are? 579 00:29:32,930 --> 00:29:34,920 Regina George is an evil dictator. 580 00:29:35,430 --> 00:29:37,490 Now, how do you overthrow a dictator? 581 00:29:37,700 --> 00:29:40,100 You cut off her resources. 582 00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:43,430 Regina would be nothing without her high-status man candy... 583 00:29:45,010 --> 00:29:46,530 ...technically good physique... 584 00:29:48,210 --> 00:29:50,410 ...and ignorant band of loyal followers. 585 00:29:52,850 --> 00:29:55,510 Now, Cady, if we want this to work, 586 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,120 you are gonna have to keep hanging out with them like nothing is wrong. 587 00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,950 Can you do it? 588 00:30:00,260 --> 00:30:01,520 I can do it. 589 00:30:01,730 --> 00:30:04,590 OK, let's rock this bitch. 590 00:30:06,130 --> 00:30:09,160 Pretending like nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy. 591 00:30:09,370 --> 00:30:12,390 Regina wanted me to tell you that she was trying to hook you up with Aaron, 592 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,800 but he was just interested in getting her back. 593 00:30:15,010 --> 00:30:16,340 And that's not Regina's fault. 594 00:30:16,540 --> 00:30:18,870 - No, I know. - OK, so you're not mad at Regina? 595 00:30:19,110 --> 00:30:20,630 - God, no. - Oh, OK, good. 596 00:30:20,850 --> 00:30:24,540 Because Regina wanted me to give you this. 597 00:30:28,020 --> 00:30:29,450 It's called the South Beach Fat Flush, 598 00:30:29,650 --> 00:30:31,880 and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours. 599 00:30:32,090 --> 00:30:33,320 This isn't even cranberry juice. 600 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,620 It's cranberry juice cocktail. It's all sugar. 601 00:30:35,830 --> 00:30:38,920 - I wanna lose 3 pounds. - You're crazy. 602 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,490 Why do you wear your hair like that? You hair looks so sexy pushed back. 603 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,790 Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back. 604 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,730 Regina was dangling Aaron in front of me on purpose. 605 00:30:49,940 --> 00:30:52,340 I knew how this would be settled in the animal world. 606 00:31:02,050 --> 00:31:03,280 But this was Girl World. 607 00:31:03,490 --> 00:31:05,250 Your hair looks sexy pushed back. 608 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:10,250 And in Girl World, all the figthing had to be sneaky. 609 00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:15,060 All this cranberry juice is making me break out. 610 00:31:15,530 --> 00:31:17,900 Wait. I have this really good skin stuff I'll bring you. 611 00:31:18,100 --> 00:31:19,070 OK. 612 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,970 We kept our eyes open for opportunities for sabotage. 613 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,110 Regina. 614 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,810 - Here you go. - Thank you. 615 00:31:37,290 --> 00:31:38,720 - Hey. - Hey. 616 00:31:43,290 --> 00:31:45,960 Your face smells like peppermint. 617 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,860 This is ass, you guys. 618 00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:25,270 It's been a month, and all we've done is make Regina's face smell like a foot. 619 00:32:25,470 --> 00:32:26,700 I've been really busy with choir. 620 00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:28,460 We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. 621 00:32:28,670 --> 00:32:30,400 We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock 622 00:32:30,610 --> 00:32:32,300 on Regina's whole dirty history. 623 00:32:32,510 --> 00:32:34,030 - Say "crack" again. - Crack. 624 00:32:34,250 --> 00:32:36,240 - All right, let's reconvene tonight. - I can't. 625 00:32:36,450 --> 00:32:38,920 I have to go to Regina's to practise for the talent show. 626 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,980 - We're doing a dance to this song... - "Jingle Bell Rock." 627 00:32:42,190 --> 00:32:43,410 You guys know that song? 628 00:32:43,620 --> 00:32:46,110 Everybody in the English-speaking world knows that song. 629 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:47,950 They do it every year. 630 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,060 Well, I have to learn it. 631 00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:51,960 Go. 632 00:32:52,260 --> 00:32:55,130 - Hey. - Why were you talking to Janis Ian? 633 00:32:55,330 --> 00:32:56,730 I don't know, I mean, she's so weird. 634 00:32:56,930 --> 00:32:59,770 She just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack. 635 00:33:00,570 --> 00:33:01,870 She's so pathetic. 636 00:33:02,510 --> 00:33:04,500 Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. 637 00:33:04,710 --> 00:33:06,230 We were best friends in middle school. 638 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:07,670 I know, right? 639 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,710 It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. 640 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,510 So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, 641 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,740 Kyle, who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to Indiana. 642 00:33:16,950 --> 00:33:19,350 And Janis was, like, weirdly jealous of him. 643 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,720 Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, 644 00:33:21,930 --> 00:33:23,920 she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" 645 00:33:24,130 --> 00:33:27,000 And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" 646 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,960 So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, 647 00:33:30,170 --> 00:33:34,100 I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're a lesbian." 648 00:33:34,310 --> 00:33:36,710 I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. 649 00:33:36,910 --> 00:33:38,970 There are gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. 650 00:33:39,180 --> 00:33:40,670 I mean, right? She was a lesbian. 651 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,210 So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her. 652 00:33:43,410 --> 00:33:44,780 It was so retarded. 653 00:33:44,980 --> 00:33:47,250 And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her. 654 00:33:47,450 --> 00:33:49,350 When she came back in the fall for high school, 655 00:33:49,550 --> 00:33:52,040 all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, 656 00:33:52,260 --> 00:33:53,590 and now I guess she's on crack. 657 00:33:55,260 --> 00:33:57,090 Oh, my God! I love your skirt. 658 00:33:57,290 --> 00:33:59,020 Where did you get it? 659 00:33:59,230 --> 00:34:00,790 It was my mom's in the '80s. 660 00:34:01,230 --> 00:34:03,390 Vintage. So adorable. 661 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,300 Thanks. 662 00:34:05,870 --> 00:34:08,030 That is the ugliest F-ing skirt I've ever seen. 663 00:34:09,640 --> 00:34:12,270 Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it? 664 00:34:15,650 --> 00:34:17,410 So are you gonna send any candy canes? 665 00:34:17,620 --> 00:34:19,880 No. I don't send them, I just get them. 666 00:34:20,380 --> 00:34:22,750 So you better send me one, byotch. 667 00:34:22,950 --> 00:34:24,180 Love you. 668 00:34:25,190 --> 00:34:27,090 I was definitely sending her one. 669 00:34:27,290 --> 00:34:29,920 I was gonna use three candy canes to crack Gretchen Wieners. 670 00:34:30,130 --> 00:34:31,360 Three, please. 671 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,230 "Why, Man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus" 672 00:34:35,430 --> 00:34:37,090 might translate into 673 00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:39,670 "Why is he so huge and obnoxious?" 674 00:34:42,540 --> 00:34:45,740 - Candy cane-grams! - OK, hurry up. 675 00:34:45,940 --> 00:34:48,570 Taylor Zimmerman? Two for you. 676 00:34:48,780 --> 00:34:50,270 Glenn Cocco? 677 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:54,180 Four for you, Glenn Cocco. You go, Glenn Cocco. 678 00:34:54,390 --> 00:34:56,440 And Cady Heron. 679 00:34:56,650 --> 00:34:57,950 Do we have a Cady Heron here? 680 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,680 - It's Cady. - Oh, Cady, here you go. 681 00:35:00,890 --> 00:35:04,290 One for you. And none for Gretchen Wieners. Bye. 682 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:07,590 Who's that from? 683 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,390 "Thanks for being such a great friend. Love, Regina." 684 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,260 That's so sweet. 685 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,970 OK, back to Caesar. 686 00:35:15,370 --> 00:35:17,340 Once Gretchen thought Regina was mad at her, 687 00:35:17,540 --> 00:35:19,340 the secrets started pouring out. 688 00:35:19,540 --> 00:35:21,570 All I had to do was wait for one we could use. 689 00:35:21,780 --> 00:35:23,250 Thank you. 690 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,940 Welcome to the North Shore High School winter talent show. 691 00:35:28,150 --> 00:35:30,810 Let me hear you make some noise. 692 00:35:35,730 --> 00:35:36,950 All right, settle down. 693 00:35:38,430 --> 00:35:41,760 Our first act calls himself a star on the rise. 694 00:35:41,970 --> 00:35:44,230 Let's hear it for Damian. 695 00:35:50,140 --> 00:35:52,040 Don't look at me. 696 00:35:52,910 --> 00:35:56,850 Every day is so wonderful 697 00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:01,340 I mean, why would Regina send you guys candy canes and not me? 698 00:36:01,550 --> 00:36:03,020 Maybe she forgot about you. 699 00:36:03,220 --> 00:36:05,090 Yeah, Regina has been acting kind of weird lately. 700 00:36:05,290 --> 00:36:06,980 I mean, is something bothering her? 701 00:36:07,190 --> 00:36:10,350 Well, I mean, her parents totally don't sleep in the same bed anymore, 702 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:11,820 if that's what you mean. 703 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,320 Oh, my God. Don't tell her I told you that. 704 00:36:15,530 --> 00:36:20,400 I am beautiful in every single way 705 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,869 Yes, words can't bring me down 706 00:36:23,870 --> 00:36:24,860 Yes, words can't bring me down 707 00:36:25,810 --> 00:36:29,010 Don't you bring me down today 708 00:36:29,210 --> 00:36:31,370 I mean, no offense, 709 00:36:31,580 --> 00:36:33,210 but why would she send you a candy cane? 710 00:36:33,420 --> 00:36:34,850 She doesn't even like you that much. 711 00:36:35,890 --> 00:36:37,110 Maybe she feels weird around me 712 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:40,590 because I'm the only person that knows about her nose job. 713 00:36:41,490 --> 00:36:44,330 Oh, my God. Pretend you didn't hear that. 714 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,260 Yo, yo, yo 715 00:36:46,460 --> 00:36:50,330 All you sucker MCs Ain't got nothing on me 716 00:36:50,530 --> 00:36:52,530 From my grades to my lines You can't touch Kevin G 717 00:36:52,740 --> 00:36:54,860 I'm a Mathlete So nerd is inferred 718 00:36:55,070 --> 00:36:57,100 But forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the Third 719 00:36:57,310 --> 00:36:59,000 Shaken not stirred I'm Kevin Gnapoor 720 00:36:59,210 --> 00:37:00,900 The G is silent when I sneak in your door 721 00:37:01,110 --> 00:37:03,100 And make love to your woman On the bathroom floor 722 00:37:03,310 --> 00:37:05,370 I don't play it like Staggy You'll know it was me 723 00:37:05,580 --> 00:37:07,640 Because the next time you see her She'll be like 724 00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:10,750 - Kevin G! - Thank you, Kevin, that's enough. 725 00:37:10,950 --> 00:37:12,480 Happy holidays, everybody. 726 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,990 K.G. And the Power of Three. 727 00:37:20,860 --> 00:37:22,630 That was something. 728 00:37:23,330 --> 00:37:25,800 Does it bother you that they still use your original choreography? 729 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,230 Shut up. 730 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,070 Damn. 731 00:37:29,340 --> 00:37:30,900 - What? - I'd rather see you out there 732 00:37:31,110 --> 00:37:32,340 shaking that thing. 733 00:37:35,310 --> 00:37:36,570 Gretchen, switch sides with Cady. 734 00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:38,750 But I'm always on your left. 735 00:37:38,950 --> 00:37:42,150 That was when there were three of us, and now the tallest go in the middle. 736 00:37:42,350 --> 00:37:44,510 But the whole dance will be backwards. 737 00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,250 I'm always on your left. 738 00:37:46,460 --> 00:37:49,430 And right now you're getting on my last nerve. Switch. 739 00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:54,000 And finally, please welcome to the stage 740 00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,190 Santa's Helpers doing "Jingle Bell Rock". 741 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:12,310 Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock 742 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:16,080 Jingle bells swing And jingle bells ring 743 00:38:16,290 --> 00:38:19,620 Snowing and blowing Up bustels of fun 744 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:23,880 Now the jingle top has begun 745 00:38:24,090 --> 00:38:27,500 Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock 746 00:38:27,700 --> 00:38:31,360 Jingle bells chime In jingle bell time 747 00:38:31,570 --> 00:38:35,500 Dancing and prancing In Jingle Bell Square 748 00:38:35,710 --> 00:38:37,040 In the fr... 749 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,380 Jason? 750 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,820 What a brigth time It's the rigth time 751 00:38:57,030 --> 00:38:59,860 To rock the nigth away 752 00:39:00,530 --> 00:39:05,260 Jingle bell time Is a swell time 753 00:39:05,470 --> 00:39:08,730 To go riding in a one-torse sleigh 754 00:39:08,940 --> 00:39:12,380 Giddyap jingle torse Pick up your feet 755 00:39:12,580 --> 00:39:15,940 Jingle around the clock 756 00:39:16,150 --> 00:39:19,780 Mix and mingle in a jingling beat 757 00:39:19,980 --> 00:39:21,680 That's the jingle bell 758 00:39:21,890 --> 00:39:23,380 That's the jingle bell 759 00:39:23,590 --> 00:39:26,890 That's the jingle bell rock 760 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:42,870 That was the best it ever went! 761 00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:45,130 - That was awesome. - Lip gloss. 762 00:39:45,710 --> 00:39:47,730 - Hey, good job, Africa. - Thanks. 763 00:39:48,310 --> 00:39:50,280 Cady's blushing. Oh, my God. 764 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,850 - You totally have a crush on that guy. - No, I don't. 765 00:39:53,050 --> 00:39:54,780 That's why you wanted to join the Mathletes. 766 00:39:54,990 --> 00:39:56,650 Mathletes? You hate math. 767 00:39:56,850 --> 00:39:58,480 Look how red she is. 768 00:39:58,690 --> 00:40:00,920 You love him. And he totally complimented you. 769 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,750 That is so fetch. 770 00:40:03,190 --> 00:40:05,490 Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen. 771 00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:07,160 It's not going to happen. 772 00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:14,830 Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant 773 00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:18,970 while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? 774 00:40:19,180 --> 00:40:20,770 What's so great about Caesar? 775 00:40:20,980 --> 00:40:22,640 Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. 776 00:40:22,850 --> 00:40:24,470 OK, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. 777 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,050 People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. 778 00:40:27,250 --> 00:40:28,740 And when did it become OK for one person 779 00:40:28,950 --> 00:40:30,210 to be the boss of everybody? 780 00:40:30,420 --> 00:40:31,890 Because that's not what Rome is about! 781 00:40:32,090 --> 00:40:34,890 We should totally just stab Caesar!" 782 00:40:36,690 --> 00:40:38,920 Gretchen Wieners had cracked. 783 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:43,430 OK, if you even knew how mean she really is. 784 00:40:43,970 --> 00:40:47,030 You know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? 785 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:50,370 Yeah. Two years ago, she told me that hoop earrings were her thing 786 00:40:50,570 --> 00:40:52,270 and that I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. 787 00:40:52,610 --> 00:40:54,800 And then for my Hanukkah, my parents got me this pair 788 00:40:55,010 --> 00:40:57,780 of really expensive white-gold hoops. 789 00:40:57,980 --> 00:41:00,880 And I had to pretend like I didn't even like them, 790 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:02,550 and it was so sad. 791 00:41:03,220 --> 00:41:04,740 And you know she cheats on Aaron? 792 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,150 Yes. Every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep. 793 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,090 But really, she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room 794 00:41:10,290 --> 00:41:11,990 above the auditorium, 795 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,490 and I never told anybody that, because... 796 00:41:14,700 --> 00:41:18,160 ...I'm such a good friend. 797 00:41:20,540 --> 00:41:24,300 Jackpot. Gretchen's secret had put the plan back in motion. 798 00:41:24,510 --> 00:41:26,370 After Christmas break, we tried every Thursday 799 00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:28,700 to help Aaron catch Regina in the act. 800 00:42:00,380 --> 00:42:01,610 Hey. 801 00:42:01,810 --> 00:42:03,300 Hey, what's up? 802 00:42:03,510 --> 00:42:05,070 My purse! 803 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,580 Looks like he's headed for the projection room 804 00:42:07,780 --> 00:42:09,410 above the auditorium! 805 00:42:19,100 --> 00:42:20,930 Coach Carr? 806 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:23,890 Trang Pak? 807 00:42:24,100 --> 00:42:24,570 Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs. 808 00:42:24,571 --> 00:42:26,330 Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs. 809 00:42:26,540 --> 00:42:29,160 No, we just have to regroup. Think outside our box. 810 00:42:29,370 --> 00:42:31,000 What are Kälteen bars? 811 00:42:31,210 --> 00:42:33,110 They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars. 812 00:42:33,310 --> 00:42:36,250 My mom used to give them to the kids in Africa to help them gain weight. 813 00:42:40,350 --> 00:42:43,220 They're these weird nutrition bars my mom uses to lose weight. 814 00:42:43,420 --> 00:42:45,120 Give me it. 815 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,430 It's all in, like, Swedish or something. 816 00:42:50,890 --> 00:42:53,060 Yeah, you know, there's some weird ingredient in them 817 00:42:53,260 --> 00:42:55,030 that's not legal in the U.S. yet. 818 00:42:55,230 --> 00:42:57,130 - Ephedrine? - No. 819 00:42:57,330 --> 00:42:59,460 - Phentermine. - No. 820 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,410 It burns carbs. It just burns up all your carbs. 821 00:43:04,740 --> 00:43:07,110 I really wanna lose 3 pounds. 822 00:43:08,380 --> 00:43:09,810 Oh, my God, what are you talking about? 823 00:43:10,010 --> 00:43:11,280 You're so skinny. 824 00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:12,850 Shut up. 825 00:43:13,620 --> 00:43:15,240 The weird thing about hanging out with Regina 826 00:43:15,450 --> 00:43:17,220 was that I could hate her, and at the same time, 827 00:43:17,420 --> 00:43:18,750 I still wanted her to like me. 828 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,320 OK. You have really good eyebrows. 829 00:43:21,530 --> 00:43:23,150 - Thanks. - Move. 830 00:43:23,490 --> 00:43:26,090 Same with Gretchen. The meaner Regina was to her, 831 00:43:26,300 --> 00:43:28,460 the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. 832 00:43:28,670 --> 00:43:31,070 Ste knew it was better to be in The Plastics, hating life 833 00:43:31,270 --> 00:43:32,930 than to not be in at all. 834 00:43:33,370 --> 00:43:36,340 Because being with The Plastics was like being famous. 835 00:43:36,870 --> 00:43:38,140 People looked at you all the time, 836 00:43:38,340 --> 00:43:40,610 and everybody just knew stuff about you. 837 00:43:40,810 --> 00:43:42,970 That new girl moved here from Africa. 838 00:43:43,180 --> 00:43:45,580 I saw Cady Heron wearing Army pants and flip-flops, 839 00:43:45,780 --> 00:43:48,340 so I bought Army pants and flip-flops. 840 00:43:48,550 --> 00:43:50,080 That Cady girl is hot. 841 00:43:50,290 --> 00:43:52,260 She might even be hotter than Regina George. 842 00:43:52,460 --> 00:43:55,190 I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. 843 00:43:55,390 --> 00:43:58,260 The two were seen canoodling at Chris Eisel's Halloween party. 844 00:43:58,460 --> 00:44:00,690 They've been inseparable ever since. 845 00:44:11,310 --> 00:44:12,710 I was a woman possessed. 846 00:44:12,910 --> 00:44:15,570 I spent about 80 percent of my time talking about Regina. 847 00:44:15,780 --> 00:44:17,110 And the other 20 percent of the time, 848 00:44:17,310 --> 00:44:19,010 I was praying for someone else to bring her up 849 00:44:19,220 --> 00:44:21,010 so I could talk about her more. 850 00:44:21,220 --> 00:44:23,410 She's not even that good-looking if you really look at her. 851 00:44:23,620 --> 00:44:25,520 I don't know. Now that's she's getting fatter, 852 00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:27,160 she's got pretty big jugs. 853 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:28,950 I could hear people getting bored with me. 854 00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:32,600 But I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit. 855 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,330 I have this theory that if you cut all her hair off, she'd look like a British man. 856 00:44:36,530 --> 00:44:39,500 Yeah, I know. You told me that one before. 857 00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:41,300 Hey, I'm having an art show. 858 00:44:41,500 --> 00:44:43,560 So why don't you take a night off from your double life. 859 00:44:43,770 --> 00:44:46,170 - I want you to see it. - Coolness. 860 00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:49,070 What is that smell? 861 00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:51,110 Oh, Regina gave me some perfume. 862 00:44:51,310 --> 00:44:53,210 You smell like a baby prostitute. 863 00:44:53,420 --> 00:44:54,680 Thanks. 864 00:44:56,090 --> 00:44:59,350 Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse I could to talk to Aaron. 865 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,180 I don't get this. Do you get any of this? 866 00:45:02,630 --> 00:45:04,420 Nice job, Cady. 867 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:07,690 Kind of seems like you get it. 868 00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,690 If I was gonna keep this going, I was gonna have to really commit. 869 00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:14,870 Not your best. 870 00:45:15,670 --> 00:45:17,770 Damn, Africa, what happened? 871 00:45:17,970 --> 00:45:20,670 - How'd you do? - Not so good. 872 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:22,470 You know, I think I need a tutor. 873 00:45:23,210 --> 00:45:26,150 I'll tutor you, if you ever wanna get together after school or something. 874 00:45:26,350 --> 00:45:28,110 Do you think Regina would mind? 875 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:29,880 No. You guys are friends. 876 00:45:32,590 --> 00:45:34,580 Well, maybe we just won't tell her. 877 00:45:35,090 --> 00:45:37,320 So, what did you get for this one? 878 00:45:37,530 --> 00:45:39,320 Well, the first time I did it, I got a zero. 879 00:45:39,530 --> 00:45:42,360 - Wrong. - But then when I checked it, I got... 880 00:45:42,570 --> 00:45:44,090 ...one. - There you go. 881 00:45:44,300 --> 00:45:45,890 I got one too. 882 00:45:46,540 --> 00:45:49,060 Yeah, you have to check it because sometimes the product 883 00:45:49,270 --> 00:45:51,760 of two negative integers is a positive number. 884 00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:54,440 Yeah, like negative four and negative six. 885 00:45:55,110 --> 00:45:57,770 That's right. That's good. 886 00:45:57,980 --> 00:46:00,070 Well, you're a good tutor. 887 00:46:08,460 --> 00:46:12,790 Man, look, I... I can't do this. 888 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,760 - It's not fair to Regina. - Why do you like her? 889 00:46:15,970 --> 00:46:18,660 Look, I know she can be really mean sometimes, but... 890 00:46:18,870 --> 00:46:20,770 - Then why do you like her? - Why do you? 891 00:46:21,340 --> 00:46:23,030 Look, there's good and bad to everybody. Right? 892 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:24,930 Regina's just... 893 00:46:25,140 --> 00:46:27,970 - She's just more up-front about it. - Oh, no. It was coming up. 894 00:46:28,180 --> 00:46:29,910 The word vomit. I didn't mean to say it, but... 895 00:46:30,110 --> 00:46:31,880 She's cheating on you! 896 00:46:34,050 --> 00:46:35,480 What? 897 00:46:40,060 --> 00:46:42,350 Did he say why? 898 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:44,460 Somebody told him about Shane Oman. 899 00:46:45,030 --> 00:46:46,360 Who? 900 00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:48,050 He said some guy on the baseball team. 901 00:46:48,260 --> 00:46:50,390 Baseball team? 902 00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:54,000 I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him. 903 00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:55,730 You wanna do something fun? 904 00:46:56,570 --> 00:46:58,130 You wanna go to Taco Bell? 905 00:46:58,340 --> 00:47:01,670 I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. 906 00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,710 God, Karen, you are so stupid! 907 00:47:04,910 --> 00:47:06,400 Regina, wait. Talk to me. 908 00:47:06,620 --> 00:47:09,710 - Nobody understands me. - I understand you. 909 00:47:10,150 --> 00:47:11,750 You're not stupid, Karen. 910 00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,150 No. I am, actually. 911 00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,550 I'm failing almost everything. 912 00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,690 Well, there must be something you're good at. 913 00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:22,260 I can put my whole fist in my mouth. 914 00:47:22,470 --> 00:47:23,690 Wanna see? 915 00:47:23,900 --> 00:47:25,730 No. That's OK. 916 00:47:25,940 --> 00:47:27,200 Anything else? 917 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,040 I'm kind of psychic. 918 00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:32,110 I have a fifth sense. 919 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:36,180 - What do you mean? - It's like I have ESPN or something. 920 00:47:36,710 --> 00:47:40,010 My breasts can always tell when it's gonna rain. 921 00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:44,040 Really? That's amazing. 922 00:47:44,990 --> 00:47:47,920 Well, they can tell when it's raining. 923 00:47:51,930 --> 00:47:53,760 I have to admit, I was mildly horrified 924 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,260 when Aaron didn't immediately ask me to be his girlfriend. 925 00:47:56,470 --> 00:47:58,700 I mean, I know he was sad, but how much time did he need? 926 00:47:58,900 --> 00:48:00,390 Regina had moved on. 927 00:48:03,210 --> 00:48:05,570 Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? 928 00:48:06,110 --> 00:48:07,470 A condom? 929 00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:11,110 Let me know. Oh, God love you. 930 00:48:11,310 --> 00:48:13,040 But overall, the plan was going pretty well. 931 00:48:13,250 --> 00:48:15,380 Aaron had dumped Regina, and she was unknowingly 932 00:48:15,590 --> 00:48:17,250 eating 5,000 calories a day. 933 00:48:17,450 --> 00:48:19,510 It was time to turn our attention to the army of skanks. 934 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,929 And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows: 935 00:48:23,930 --> 00:48:25,760 And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows: 936 00:48:26,130 --> 00:48:28,320 Regina George. 937 00:48:29,870 --> 00:48:31,890 Gretchen Wieners. 938 00:48:33,940 --> 00:48:35,170 Janis Ian. 939 00:48:36,010 --> 00:48:38,170 What is happening to the world? 940 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,310 And the final nominee... 941 00:48:40,510 --> 00:48:43,000 I couldn't help myself. It was so easy. 942 00:48:43,210 --> 00:48:44,440 ...is Cady Heron. 943 00:48:45,180 --> 00:48:47,620 Damian, you put me in there too? That's not part of the plan. 944 00:48:47,820 --> 00:48:49,440 I didn't put you in there. 945 00:48:49,650 --> 00:48:51,750 You mean I'm really nominated? 946 00:48:55,690 --> 00:48:58,250 In January, Regina had put a Spring Fling dress on hold 947 00:48:58,460 --> 00:48:59,990 at a store called 1-3-5. 948 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:02,190 But being Plastic, she needed our advice 949 00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:03,630 before she could actually buy it. 950 00:49:03,830 --> 00:49:05,530 Can someone zip me up? 951 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:10,960 - It won't close. - It's a 5. 952 00:49:11,170 --> 00:49:12,800 OK, it must be marked wrong. 953 00:49:13,010 --> 00:49:15,880 Cady, all I've been eating are these Kälteen bars. They suck. 954 00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:18,240 No, no, this is just how they work. 955 00:49:18,450 --> 00:49:19,810 This is all your water weight. 956 00:49:20,020 --> 00:49:22,640 First you bloat, and then you drop 10 pounds like that: 957 00:49:23,420 --> 00:49:25,750 Well, the Kälteen bars have burned up all your carbs, 958 00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:27,680 and now your body's just running on water. 959 00:49:27,890 --> 00:49:29,950 But once the water's gone, then you'll be all muscle. 960 00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:31,860 It explains it all on the label. 961 00:49:32,060 --> 00:49:33,490 You know Swedish? 962 00:49:33,700 --> 00:49:36,320 Yeah, everyone in Africa can read Swedish. 963 00:49:36,900 --> 00:49:38,960 Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up? 964 00:49:39,170 --> 00:49:42,070 Sorry. We only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5. 965 00:49:42,270 --> 00:49:43,500 You could try Sears. 966 00:49:55,490 --> 00:49:57,150 Cady. 967 00:49:57,350 --> 00:50:00,410 I need your parents to sign this so they know that you're failing. 968 00:50:01,090 --> 00:50:02,320 Failing? 969 00:50:02,530 --> 00:50:04,430 You know what's weird about your quizzes, Cady, 970 00:50:04,630 --> 00:50:07,390 is that all the work is right and just the answers are wrong. 971 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:09,960 - Really? - Really. 972 00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:12,030 Cady, I know that having a boyfriend 973 00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:15,070 may seem like the most important thing in the world right now, 974 00:50:15,270 --> 00:50:17,900 but you don't have to dumb yourself down to get guys to like you. 975 00:50:18,110 --> 00:50:19,700 - How would you know? - I know, 976 00:50:19,910 --> 00:50:21,880 "How would I know", right? 977 00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:25,170 I'm divorced. I'm broke from getting divorced. 978 00:50:25,380 --> 00:50:28,410 The only guy that ever calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa. 979 00:50:28,990 --> 00:50:30,210 And you know why? 980 00:50:30,420 --> 00:50:32,980 Because I'm a pusher. I push people. 981 00:50:33,190 --> 00:50:35,950 I pushed my husband into law school. That was a bust. 982 00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,420 I pushed myself into working three jobs. 983 00:50:38,630 --> 00:50:40,030 And now I'm gonna push you 984 00:50:40,230 --> 00:50:42,130 because I know you're smarter than this. 985 00:50:42,330 --> 00:50:44,460 Thanks, Ms. Norbury. And if there's anything I can do 986 00:50:44,670 --> 00:50:46,030 for extra credit, please let me know. 987 00:50:46,240 --> 00:50:47,600 Oh, I will. 988 00:50:48,240 --> 00:50:50,540 I hate her! I mean, she's totally failing me on purpose 989 00:50:50,740 --> 00:50:52,370 because I didn't join those stupid Mathletes! 990 00:50:52,580 --> 00:50:53,800 She was so queer. 991 00:50:54,010 --> 00:50:56,600 She was like, "I'm a pusher, Cady. I'm a pusher." 992 00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:58,910 What does that even mean? 993 00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,110 - Like a drug pusher? - Probably. 994 00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:02,840 She said she works three jobs. 995 00:51:03,050 --> 00:51:04,610 You know, I bet she sells drugs on the side 996 00:51:04,820 --> 00:51:06,050 to pay for her pathetic divorce. 997 00:51:06,260 --> 00:51:08,120 You let it out, honey. 998 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,290 Put it in the book. 999 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,130 I know it may look like I'd become a bitch, 1000 00:51:17,330 --> 00:51:19,770 but that's only because I was acting like a bitch. 1001 00:51:19,970 --> 00:51:22,670 Hey, I called you last night. How come you didn't call me back? 1002 00:51:22,870 --> 00:51:24,810 Oh, I got busy. Sorry. 1003 00:51:25,010 --> 00:51:27,500 So you need a ride to my art show this weekend? 1004 00:51:28,140 --> 00:51:30,310 No. I have to go to Madison with my parents. 1005 00:51:30,510 --> 00:51:32,040 I'm so sorry. 1006 00:51:32,250 --> 00:51:33,840 Well, you wanna watch a movie tonight? 1007 00:51:34,050 --> 00:51:37,250 Can't. I'm doing major Plastic sabotage tonight. 1008 00:51:37,490 --> 00:51:39,980 But we don't have anything planned for tonight. 1009 00:51:40,190 --> 00:51:42,420 Oh, I planned this one on my own. 1010 00:51:42,630 --> 00:51:43,850 Love you. Bye. 1011 00:51:46,830 --> 00:51:48,060 Gretchen thinks you're mad at her 1012 00:51:48,260 --> 00:51:49,890 because she's running for Spring Fling Queen. 1013 00:51:50,100 --> 00:51:53,160 Oh, my God, I'm not mad at her. I'm worried about her. 1014 00:51:53,370 --> 00:51:55,390 I think somebody nominated her as a joke or something. 1015 00:51:55,610 --> 00:51:58,670 And when nobody votes for her, she's gonna have a total meltdown. 1016 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,170 And who's gonna have to take care of her? Me. 1017 00:52:01,380 --> 00:52:04,740 So you don't think anyone will vote for her? 1018 00:52:04,950 --> 00:52:06,710 Cady, she's not pretty. 1019 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:09,040 I mean, that sounds bad, but whatever. 1020 00:52:09,250 --> 00:52:11,310 The Spring Fling Queen is always pretty. 1021 00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,580 And the crazy thing is is that it should be Karen, 1022 00:52:13,790 --> 00:52:16,380 but people forget about her because she's such a slut. 1023 00:52:16,590 --> 00:52:18,620 Anyway, I gotta go. I'm going to bed. 1024 00:52:21,730 --> 00:52:24,100 Well, she's not mad at you. 1025 00:52:24,300 --> 00:52:26,930 - Hold on. - Are you OK? 1026 00:52:34,210 --> 00:52:36,270 - Hello? - If someone said something bad 1027 00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,170 about you, you'd want me to tell you, right? 1028 00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:40,810 - No. - What if it was someone 1029 00:52:41,020 --> 00:52:42,450 you thought was your friend? 1030 00:52:42,650 --> 00:52:44,640 What are you...? Hold on. Other line. 1031 00:52:44,850 --> 00:52:46,850 - I'm not taking this anymore. - Good for you, Gretch. 1032 00:52:47,060 --> 00:52:48,490 - Hello? - Let's go out. 1033 00:52:48,690 --> 00:52:50,780 OK. Hold on. I'm on the other line with Gretchen. 1034 00:52:50,990 --> 00:52:53,360 Don't invite Gretchen. She's driving me nuts. 1035 00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:55,190 - Hold on. - OK, hurry up. 1036 00:52:56,300 --> 00:52:57,530 It's Regina. 1037 00:52:57,730 --> 00:53:00,500 She wants to hang out with me tonight, but she told me not to tell you. 1038 00:53:00,700 --> 00:53:02,330 Do not hang out with her. 1039 00:53:02,540 --> 00:53:05,130 - Why? - You don't want me to tell you. 1040 00:53:05,340 --> 00:53:06,870 You can tell me. Hold on. 1041 00:53:08,540 --> 00:53:10,940 Oh, my God, she's so annoying. 1042 00:53:11,150 --> 00:53:12,380 Who is? 1043 00:53:12,580 --> 00:53:14,610 - Who's this? - Gretchen. 1044 00:53:14,820 --> 00:53:16,880 Right. Hold on. 1045 00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:22,760 - Oh, my God, she's so annoying. - I know. Just get rid of her. 1046 00:53:24,630 --> 00:53:25,860 OK. What is it? 1047 00:53:26,060 --> 00:53:28,960 Regina says everyone hates you because you're such a slut. 1048 00:53:29,730 --> 00:53:31,290 She said that? 1049 00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,260 You didn't hear it from me. 1050 00:53:34,300 --> 00:53:37,030 - Little harsh, Gretch. - Whatever. She has a right to know. 1051 00:53:37,240 --> 00:53:39,040 I can't go out. 1052 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:41,280 I'm sick. 1053 00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:43,470 Boo. You whore. 1054 00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:50,880 Regina, 1055 00:53:51,090 --> 00:53:52,380 we have to talk to you. 1056 00:53:52,590 --> 00:53:54,280 Is butter a carb? 1057 00:53:54,790 --> 00:53:56,090 Yes. 1058 00:53:56,290 --> 00:53:58,950 Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. 1059 00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:00,390 It's Monday. 1060 00:54:01,130 --> 00:54:03,190 - So? - So that's against the rules 1061 00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:04,890 and you can't sit with us. 1062 00:54:05,370 --> 00:54:07,670 Whatever. Those rules aren't real. 1063 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,400 They were real that day I wore a vest. 1064 00:54:10,610 --> 00:54:13,600 - Because that vest was disgusting. - You can't sit with us! 1065 00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:23,280 These sweatpants are all that fits me right now. 1066 00:54:29,930 --> 00:54:31,220 Fine. 1067 00:54:31,430 --> 00:54:33,420 You can walk home, bitches. 1068 00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:37,230 Watch where you're going, fat-ass! 1069 00:54:44,810 --> 00:54:47,370 Gretchen and Karen followed me around all afternoon. 1070 00:54:47,580 --> 00:54:49,810 - So, what are we doing this weekend? - Yeah, what are we doing? 1071 00:54:50,010 --> 00:54:51,670 Oh, I have to go to Madison with my parents. 1072 00:54:52,250 --> 00:54:53,840 What...? 1073 00:54:54,050 --> 00:54:55,640 We have tickets for this thing. 1074 00:54:55,850 --> 00:54:57,840 - What? - What? 1075 00:54:58,050 --> 00:55:00,350 Was I the new queen bee? 1076 00:55:01,620 --> 00:55:02,990 I can try and get out of it. 1077 00:55:03,330 --> 00:55:04,550 - Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. 1078 00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:07,630 Because I told my friend Janis I'd go to her art show. 1079 00:55:07,830 --> 00:55:09,820 We've had these tickets for months. 1080 00:55:10,030 --> 00:55:12,020 You love Ladysmith Black Mambazo. 1081 00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:14,700 But she's my friend, and I made her a promise. 1082 00:55:15,140 --> 00:55:17,870 I think Cady's old enough to spend one night on her own. 1083 00:55:21,380 --> 00:55:24,510 I had learned how to control everyone around me. 1084 00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:28,310 Hey. I'm having a small get-together at my house tomorrow night. 1085 00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,510 - Is Regina going? - No. Do you think I'm an idiot? 1086 00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:33,210 No, it's just gonna be a few cool people, 1087 00:55:33,420 --> 00:55:34,860 and you better be one of them, byotch. 1088 00:55:35,590 --> 00:55:37,490 - Fine, I'll go. - Shut up. 1089 00:55:37,690 --> 00:55:39,680 I love that shirt on you. 1090 00:55:45,270 --> 00:55:48,360 Aaron Samuels was going to be in my touse at my party. 1091 00:55:48,570 --> 00:55:50,400 Everything had to be perfect. 1092 00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:56,570 And this time when Aaron saw me, 1093 00:55:56,780 --> 00:55:59,340 I wouldn't be caught in some ridiculous costume. 1094 00:56:00,020 --> 00:56:01,240 Hey, guys. 1095 00:56:02,650 --> 00:56:04,380 - You look awesome! - You look awesome! 1096 00:56:04,590 --> 00:56:06,020 I know, right? 1097 00:56:06,220 --> 00:56:08,320 OK, so I got enough cheese and crackers for eight people. 1098 00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,250 Do you think that's enough? 1099 00:56:10,460 --> 00:56:12,290 - Yeah. - Yeah. Oh, yeah. 1100 00:56:12,500 --> 00:56:14,090 OK. 1101 00:56:17,900 --> 00:56:19,130 It was not enough. 1102 00:56:19,340 --> 00:56:21,900 Somehow, the word had gotten out about my small get-together. 1103 00:56:22,100 --> 00:56:24,130 Jason is here with Taylor Wedell. 1104 00:56:24,340 --> 00:56:26,140 He's just using her to make you mad. 1105 00:56:26,340 --> 00:56:28,900 - Have you guys seen Aaron yet? - No. 1106 00:56:30,650 --> 00:56:33,440 Dude, put on "The Ramayana Monkey Chant". 1107 00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:45,350 - Do I know you? - Deek! What up, dog? 1108 00:56:52,030 --> 00:56:54,260 She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? 1109 00:56:54,470 --> 00:56:56,340 - Who does she think she is? - You're right, hon. 1110 00:56:56,540 --> 00:56:59,030 I, like, invented her, you know what I mean? 1111 00:57:07,150 --> 00:57:09,120 Jason. 1112 00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:10,810 I have to talk to you. 1113 00:57:11,990 --> 00:57:13,460 Whatever. 1114 00:57:14,460 --> 00:57:16,550 - I love you. - I know, I know. 1115 00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,130 Hey! Put that down! 1116 00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:30,060 Was Aaron blowing me off? 1117 00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:39,770 What's up? Gretchen came to talk to me. 1118 00:57:39,980 --> 00:57:41,680 - Oh, no. - Look, 1119 00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:45,320 I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color. 1120 00:57:46,460 --> 00:57:47,850 I have to pee. 1121 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:02,390 Get out. 1122 00:58:47,020 --> 00:58:48,240 - Hey. - Hey. 1123 00:58:48,450 --> 00:58:49,780 I've been looking for you everywhere. 1124 00:58:49,990 --> 00:58:51,280 Me too. 1125 00:58:53,420 --> 00:58:55,360 You look... 1126 00:58:55,990 --> 00:58:58,290 - New clothes? - Thanks. 1127 00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:00,930 You wanna go downstairs? 1128 00:59:01,130 --> 00:59:03,460 No, no. Let's stay here. 1129 00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:08,130 Thanks for getting me to come out tonight. 1130 00:59:08,340 --> 00:59:09,570 Yeah, sure, no problem. 1131 00:59:09,770 --> 00:59:12,740 I wasted too much time being pissed off at Regina. 1132 00:59:12,940 --> 00:59:14,430 No more liars. 1133 00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:16,470 I would never lie to you. 1134 00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:18,440 I know, I know. 1135 00:59:18,650 --> 00:59:20,050 Although... 1136 00:59:20,250 --> 00:59:22,580 OK, listen. I mean, I did lie to you once, 1137 00:59:22,790 --> 00:59:24,910 but you're totally gonna laugh when I tell you, so... 1138 00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:26,750 Tell me what? 1139 00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:30,920 I pretended to be bad at math so that you'd help me. 1140 00:59:31,130 --> 00:59:34,190 But the thing is, I'm not really bad at math. 1141 00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,330 I'm actually really good at math. You're kind of bad at math. 1142 00:59:37,900 --> 00:59:40,060 Anyways, now I'm failing. Isn't that funny? 1143 00:59:40,540 --> 00:59:42,900 Wait. You're failing on purpose? That's stupid. 1144 00:59:43,110 --> 00:59:45,770 No. Not on purpose. Just, you know... 1145 00:59:45,980 --> 00:59:47,530 I just wanted a reason to talk to you. 1146 00:59:47,740 --> 00:59:49,370 So why didn't you just talk to me? 1147 00:59:49,580 --> 00:59:51,510 Well, because I couldn't. Because of Regina. 1148 00:59:51,710 --> 00:59:53,270 Because you were her property... 1149 00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:55,610 - Her property? - No. Shut up. Not her property... 1150 00:59:55,820 --> 00:59:57,310 No, don't tell me to shut up. 1151 00:59:57,520 --> 00:59:59,180 - I wasn't... - God, you know what? 1152 00:59:59,620 --> 01:00:02,250 You are just like a clone of Regina. 1153 01:00:02,460 --> 01:00:05,120 Oh, no, no, listen to me. You're not listening to me... 1154 01:00:05,330 --> 01:00:09,660 Oh, no. It was coming up again. Word vomit. No, wait a minute... 1155 01:00:09,870 --> 01:00:12,660 - What is this?! - Actual vomit. 1156 01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,400 Aaron! 1157 01:00:17,710 --> 01:00:19,770 Aaron, wait! Just... 1158 01:00:21,210 --> 01:00:23,770 OK. Call me. 1159 01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:31,580 - Oh, God. - You dirty little liar. 1160 01:00:31,790 --> 01:00:33,620 I'm sorry. I can explain. 1161 01:00:33,820 --> 01:00:36,050 Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party? 1162 01:00:36,260 --> 01:00:37,590 Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew. 1163 01:00:37,790 --> 01:00:40,690 You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be Plastic. 1164 01:00:40,900 --> 01:00:42,920 Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. 1165 01:00:43,130 --> 01:00:46,100 You're Plastic. Cold, shiny, hard Plastic. 1166 01:00:46,500 --> 01:00:48,230 Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10. 1167 01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:50,130 Did you have an awesome time? 1168 01:00:50,340 --> 01:00:53,470 Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music, 1169 01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:56,470 and then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness? 1170 01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:58,010 You're the one who made me like this 1171 01:00:58,210 --> 01:01:00,550 so you could use me for your eighth-grade revenge. 1172 01:01:00,750 --> 01:01:03,580 God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean. 1173 01:01:03,790 --> 01:01:08,190 You try to act like you're so innocent. Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa 1174 01:01:08,390 --> 01:01:10,380 with all the little birdies and the little monkeys." 1175 01:01:10,590 --> 01:01:13,390 You know what? It's not my fault you're in love with me or something! 1176 01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,190 - What?! - Oh, no she did not! 1177 01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:17,560 See? That is the thing with you Plastics. 1178 01:01:17,770 --> 01:01:20,230 You think that everybody is in love with you, 1179 01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:22,560 when actually, everybody hates you. 1180 01:01:22,770 --> 01:01:24,530 Like Aaron Samuels, for example. 1181 01:01:24,740 --> 01:01:26,570 He broke up with Regina and guess what. 1182 01:01:26,780 --> 01:01:28,370 He still doesn't want you. 1183 01:01:28,580 --> 01:01:31,740 So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why. 1184 01:01:31,950 --> 01:01:35,510 Because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! 1185 01:01:36,420 --> 01:01:39,620 Here. You can have this. It won a prize. 1186 01:01:41,990 --> 01:01:44,290 And I want my pink shirt back! 1187 01:01:44,490 --> 01:01:47,190 I want my pink shirt back! 1188 01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:02,680 Hon, slow down. 1189 01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:05,440 It's like I can't trust anyone anymore. 1190 01:02:06,580 --> 01:02:08,050 Why are you eating a Kälteen bar? 1191 01:02:08,250 --> 01:02:10,650 - I'm starving. - Man, I hate those things. 1192 01:02:10,850 --> 01:02:14,290 Coach Carr makes us eat those when we wanna move up a weight class. 1193 01:02:15,860 --> 01:02:17,120 What? 1194 01:02:17,930 --> 01:02:20,330 They make you gain weight like crazy. 1195 01:02:21,530 --> 01:02:23,330 Mother... 1196 01:02:48,460 --> 01:02:54,790 This girl is the nastiest skank bitch 1197 01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:59,260 I've ever met. 1198 01:02:59,470 --> 01:03:08,100 Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut! 1199 01:03:28,100 --> 01:03:33,430 I found it in the girls' bathroom. It's so mean, Mr. Duvall. 1200 01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:34,930 Is this true? 1201 01:03:35,140 --> 01:03:37,300 Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr? 1202 01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:41,370 Good Lord. 1203 01:03:41,580 --> 01:03:44,070 What's that say? "Kaitlyn Caussin is a..."? 1204 01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:45,940 Fat whore. 1205 01:03:49,050 --> 01:03:51,140 OK, calm down, Miss George. 1206 01:03:51,790 --> 01:03:55,310 Why would someone write that? That's just so mean. 1207 01:03:55,790 --> 01:03:58,120 Don't worry, we're gonna find out who did it. 1208 01:03:58,330 --> 01:04:00,890 There's only three girls in the whole school who aren't in it. 1209 01:04:01,900 --> 01:04:04,420 At your age, you're gonna be having a lot of urges. 1210 01:04:04,630 --> 01:04:07,830 You're gonna want to take off your clothes and touch each other. 1211 01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:12,570 But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia. And die. 1212 01:04:12,780 --> 01:04:14,170 Coach Carr. 1213 01:04:17,550 --> 01:04:20,010 Cady Heron, they wanna see you in the principal's office. 1214 01:04:22,580 --> 01:04:26,710 All right, chlamydia. K-L-A... 1215 01:04:29,490 --> 01:04:31,460 In here, Miss Heron. 1216 01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:42,930 - What's going on? - Have a seat, Miss Heron. 1217 01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:48,900 - Have you ever seen this before? - No. 1218 01:04:49,450 --> 01:04:51,780 I mean, yes, I've seen it before, but it's not mine. 1219 01:04:51,980 --> 01:04:53,680 You better get your story straight, Miss Heron, 1220 01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:55,650 because I'm not messing around here. 1221 01:04:55,850 --> 01:04:57,550 It's not ours, it's Regina's. 1222 01:04:57,790 --> 01:05:01,480 Yeah, she's trying to make it look like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it. 1223 01:05:01,690 --> 01:05:07,930 Miss Wieners, why would Regina refer to herself as a "fugly slut"? 1224 01:05:10,530 --> 01:05:13,230 Miss Smith, this is no time to be laughing. 1225 01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:15,630 We're gonna get to the bottom of this right now. 1226 01:05:34,090 --> 01:05:37,550 Maybe we're not in that book, because everybody likes us. 1227 01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:40,020 And I don't wanna be punished for being well-liked. 1228 01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:44,290 And I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, 1229 01:05:44,500 --> 01:05:46,470 would be too pleased to hear about this. 1230 01:05:55,580 --> 01:05:57,700 "Made out with a hot dog"? 1231 01:05:57,910 --> 01:06:00,850 Oh, my God, that was one time! 1232 01:06:03,150 --> 01:06:07,380 "Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"? Who would write that? 1233 01:06:07,590 --> 01:06:09,320 Who wouldn't write that? 1234 01:06:10,690 --> 01:06:12,790 "Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr"? 1235 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,550 And so did Sun Jin Dinh. 1236 01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:25,410 Hey! Hey! Settle down! All right, hey. 1237 01:06:25,610 --> 01:06:28,510 No. You do not push and sh... 1238 01:06:42,220 --> 01:06:44,020 Do you have anything else you wanna say? 1239 01:06:44,230 --> 01:06:45,560 No, I can't answer any more questions 1240 01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:47,420 until I have a parent or lawyer present. 1241 01:06:48,660 --> 01:06:49,890 Miss Smith? 1242 01:06:51,030 --> 01:06:54,560 Whoever wrote it probably didn't think anyone would ever see it? 1243 01:06:54,770 --> 01:06:57,200 I hope that nobody else ever does see it. 1244 01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:11,210 Mom, can you pick me up? I'm scared. 1245 01:07:12,390 --> 01:07:14,720 - "Janis Ian, dyke"? - That's original. 1246 01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:16,690 - "Too gay to function"?! - Hey! 1247 01:07:16,890 --> 01:07:18,950 That's only OK when I say it. 1248 01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:22,030 - Did you write this? - No, I swear! 1249 01:07:22,230 --> 01:07:24,890 - Then you told somebody! - She told! 1250 01:07:25,170 --> 01:07:28,190 - You little bitch! - You're a bitch! 1251 01:07:30,270 --> 01:07:32,240 Yeah! Take your top off! 1252 01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:36,400 - Now, here's what we're gonna do... - Ron, come quick! 1253 01:07:36,610 --> 01:07:39,950 They've gone wild. The girls have gone wild. 1254 01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:51,290 It was full-tilt jungle madness. 1255 01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:56,730 And it wasn't going away. 1256 01:08:03,170 --> 01:08:05,800 Hey, I pulled these two off each other. 1257 01:08:06,010 --> 01:08:08,810 Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls. 1258 01:08:13,780 --> 01:08:15,250 Let me help you down there. 1259 01:08:15,950 --> 01:08:19,510 Hell, no! I did not leave the Southside for this! 1260 01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:25,490 Oh, crap! My hair! 1261 01:08:25,690 --> 01:08:31,220 All junior girls report to the gymnasium immediately! Immediately! 1262 01:08:36,270 --> 01:08:37,800 Have you ever walked up to people 1263 01:08:38,010 --> 01:08:40,300 and realized they were just talking about you? 1264 01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:45,570 Have you ever had it happen 60 times in a row? 1265 01:08:45,980 --> 01:08:47,570 I have. 1266 01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:11,040 Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior. 1267 01:09:11,370 --> 01:09:13,240 And from young ladies. 1268 01:09:13,780 --> 01:09:17,710 I got parents calling me on the phone asking, "Did someone get shot?" 1269 01:09:18,010 --> 01:09:19,950 I ought to cancel your Spring Fling. 1270 01:09:20,150 --> 01:09:21,380 No! 1271 01:09:21,650 --> 01:09:22,880 - No. - What are we supposed to do? 1272 01:09:23,350 --> 01:09:26,250 Now, I'm not gonna do that, because we've already paid the DJ. 1273 01:09:26,520 --> 01:09:29,720 But don't think that I'm not taking this book seriously. 1274 01:09:30,130 --> 01:09:33,030 Coach Carr has fled school property. 1275 01:09:33,660 --> 01:09:36,030 Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. 1276 01:09:37,430 --> 01:09:39,730 Now, what the young ladies in this grade need 1277 01:09:39,940 --> 01:09:41,960 is an attitude makeover. 1278 01:09:42,370 --> 01:09:44,740 And you're gonna get it right now. 1279 01:09:44,940 --> 01:09:48,810 I don't care how long it takes, I will keep you here all night. 1280 01:09:49,010 --> 01:09:50,410 We can't keep them past 4. 1281 01:09:50,610 --> 01:09:52,840 I will keep you here until 4. 1282 01:09:54,720 --> 01:09:57,180 Now, what we're gonna try to do is fix the way you young ladies 1283 01:09:57,390 --> 01:09:58,880 relate to each other. 1284 01:09:59,090 --> 01:10:01,650 OK? Lady to lady. 1285 01:10:01,860 --> 01:10:04,850 So who has a lady problem that they'd like to talk about? 1286 01:10:08,660 --> 01:10:10,030 Yes? 1287 01:10:10,230 --> 01:10:13,460 Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin 1288 01:10:13,670 --> 01:10:15,690 because I use super-jumbo tampons. 1289 01:10:15,900 --> 01:10:19,770 But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina. 1290 01:10:21,710 --> 01:10:23,510 Yeah, I can't do this. 1291 01:10:23,910 --> 01:10:25,140 Ms. Norbury. 1292 01:10:25,380 --> 01:10:29,110 You're a successful, intelligent, caring, graceful woman. 1293 01:10:29,420 --> 01:10:30,650 I am? 1294 01:10:30,850 --> 01:10:33,080 There has to be something you can say to these young ladies. 1295 01:10:33,290 --> 01:10:35,220 Something to help them with their self-esteem? 1296 01:10:35,590 --> 01:10:36,820 It's not a self-esteem problem. 1297 01:10:37,030 --> 01:10:39,550 I think they're all pretty pleased with themselves. 1298 01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:42,990 OK. 1299 01:10:44,270 --> 01:10:48,260 OK. Everybody close your eyes. 1300 01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:52,200 I want you to raise your hand if you have ever had a girl 1301 01:10:52,410 --> 01:10:55,540 say something bad about you behind your back. 1302 01:10:57,580 --> 01:10:59,440 Open your eyes. 1303 01:11:01,150 --> 01:11:02,670 Now, close your eyes again. 1304 01:11:02,880 --> 01:11:05,680 And this time, I want you to raise your hand if you have ever 1305 01:11:05,890 --> 01:11:08,450 said anything about a friend behind her back. 1306 01:11:14,830 --> 01:11:16,130 Open them. 1307 01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:23,200 There's been some girl-on-girl crime here. 1308 01:11:24,270 --> 01:11:28,000 OK. So, what we could do today is a couple exercises to help you 1309 01:11:28,210 --> 01:11:31,110 express your anger in a healthy way. 1310 01:11:32,050 --> 01:11:33,340 Let's start over here. 1311 01:11:33,550 --> 01:11:35,350 Ms. Norbury had us confront each other directly 1312 01:11:35,550 --> 01:11:37,020 about the things that were bothering us. 1313 01:11:37,220 --> 01:11:39,240 And it seemed like every clique had its own problems. 1314 01:11:39,450 --> 01:11:42,360 You've been acting really stuck-up ever since you switched to shortfielder. 1315 01:11:42,560 --> 01:11:44,320 And Dawn agrees with me. 1316 01:11:44,530 --> 01:11:46,150 - Dawn? - Don't drag me into this, 1317 01:11:46,360 --> 01:11:47,660 I'm pitching tomorrow. 1318 01:11:55,540 --> 01:11:57,530 OK. Good. 1319 01:11:58,470 --> 01:12:01,410 Can I just say that we don't have a clique problem at this school? 1320 01:12:01,610 --> 01:12:04,340 And some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop, because some of us 1321 01:12:04,550 --> 01:12:06,640 are just victims in this situation. 1322 01:12:06,850 --> 01:12:08,980 That's probably true. How many of you 1323 01:12:09,180 --> 01:12:12,980 have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George? 1324 01:12:22,830 --> 01:12:25,360 Good. OK, who's next? 1325 01:12:25,570 --> 01:12:27,090 Who's next? 1326 01:12:29,370 --> 01:12:30,700 Cady. 1327 01:12:30,910 --> 01:12:32,600 Do you have anything you wanna own up to? 1328 01:12:33,310 --> 01:12:35,040 Yes. No. 1329 01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:38,110 You never made up a rumor about anybody? 1330 01:12:38,510 --> 01:12:39,740 Just that you sell drugs. 1331 01:12:39,950 --> 01:12:41,180 No. 1332 01:12:41,580 --> 01:12:43,850 Nothing you want to apologize for? 1333 01:12:44,290 --> 01:12:45,690 I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury 1334 01:12:45,890 --> 01:12:47,910 without getting blamed for the whole Burn Book. 1335 01:12:48,190 --> 01:12:49,620 No. 1336 01:12:50,860 --> 01:12:53,120 I'm really disappointed in you, Cady. 1337 01:12:55,500 --> 01:12:58,520 OK, so we're all here because of this book, right? 1338 01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:01,560 Well, I don't know who wrote this book, 1339 01:13:01,770 --> 01:13:05,540 but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. 1340 01:13:05,740 --> 01:13:08,710 It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores. 1341 01:13:08,910 --> 01:13:10,470 Who here has ever been called a slut? 1342 01:13:15,650 --> 01:13:17,240 OK, everybody up. 1343 01:13:17,450 --> 01:13:18,980 Ms. Norbury had us write out apologies 1344 01:13:19,190 --> 01:13:21,350 to people that we'd hurt in our lives. 1345 01:13:21,620 --> 01:13:25,220 "Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch." 1346 01:13:25,430 --> 01:13:27,950 "It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed." 1347 01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:33,870 "Gretchen, 1348 01:13:34,070 --> 01:13:36,500 "I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea" 1349 01:13:36,710 --> 01:13:38,330 "at Barnes and Noble." 1350 01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:40,440 "And I'm sorry I told everyone about it." 1351 01:13:40,940 --> 01:13:43,430 And I'm sorry for repeating it now. 1352 01:13:48,180 --> 01:13:50,210 Laura, I don't hate you because you're fat. 1353 01:13:50,420 --> 01:13:52,750 You're fat because I hate you. 1354 01:13:56,390 --> 01:14:00,420 I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. 1355 01:14:00,630 --> 01:14:04,570 I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, 1356 01:14:04,770 --> 01:14:06,670 and we'd all eat it and be happy. 1357 01:14:06,870 --> 01:14:08,500 She doesn't even go here! 1358 01:14:10,410 --> 01:14:12,460 Do you even go to this school? 1359 01:14:12,670 --> 01:14:16,340 No. I just have a lot of feelings. 1360 01:14:16,650 --> 01:14:18,110 OK, go home. 1361 01:14:22,080 --> 01:14:23,710 Sharon, I think you're doing a great job. 1362 01:14:23,950 --> 01:14:25,510 Thanks. I feel like I'm getting through. 1363 01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:28,120 I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. 1364 01:14:28,860 --> 01:14:31,420 But I can't help it that I'm popular. 1365 01:14:36,360 --> 01:14:39,490 Oh, my God! Oh, jeez. OK, walk it off. Walk it off. 1366 01:14:39,700 --> 01:14:41,860 OK. That hurt. 1367 01:14:42,670 --> 01:14:44,000 They're OK. 1368 01:14:44,540 --> 01:14:46,230 They're OK. 1369 01:14:47,040 --> 01:14:52,040 Oh, boy. OK, who's next? Who's next? Keep it going. 1370 01:14:55,750 --> 01:14:59,690 Oh, my God. It's her dream come true, diving into a big pile of girls. 1371 01:15:01,020 --> 01:15:04,190 OK, yeah, I've got an apology. 1372 01:15:06,160 --> 01:15:10,830 So I have this friend who is a new student this year. 1373 01:15:11,030 --> 01:15:15,090 And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. 1374 01:15:15,300 --> 01:15:17,790 So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, 1375 01:15:18,010 --> 01:15:19,530 and then she would come to my house after 1376 01:15:19,740 --> 01:15:22,440 and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. 1377 01:15:22,640 --> 01:15:24,170 And we gave her these candy bar things 1378 01:15:24,380 --> 01:15:26,010 that would make her gain weight, 1379 01:15:26,210 --> 01:15:28,410 and we turned her best friends against her. 1380 01:15:28,880 --> 01:15:31,850 And then... Oh, yeah, Cady... You know my friend Cady. 1381 01:15:32,050 --> 01:15:33,850 She made out with Regina's boyfriend 1382 01:15:34,060 --> 01:15:36,150 and then convinced him to break up with her. 1383 01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:38,990 Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream instead of face wash. 1384 01:15:39,190 --> 01:15:41,820 God! I am so sorry, Regina. 1385 01:15:42,030 --> 01:15:43,960 Really, I don't know why I did it. 1386 01:15:44,170 --> 01:15:49,400 I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you. 1387 01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:51,300 Suck on that! 1388 01:15:52,410 --> 01:15:56,280 Janis! Janis! Janis! Janis! 1389 01:16:03,080 --> 01:16:04,310 Regina! 1390 01:16:05,790 --> 01:16:07,720 Regina, wait! I didn't mean for that to happen. 1391 01:16:07,920 --> 01:16:09,910 To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care. 1392 01:16:10,130 --> 01:16:12,120 Regina, please! Regina, stop! 1393 01:16:12,330 --> 01:16:14,990 No! Do you know what everyone says about you? 1394 01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:17,130 They say that you're a home-schooled jungle freak, 1395 01:16:17,330 --> 01:16:19,160 who's a less-hot version of me. 1396 01:16:19,370 --> 01:16:22,130 Yeah. So don't try to act so innocent. 1397 01:16:22,340 --> 01:16:25,600 You can take that fake apology and shove it right up your hairy... 1398 01:16:29,340 --> 01:16:31,940 And that's how Regina George died. 1399 01:16:32,150 --> 01:16:35,210 No, I'm totally kidding. But she did get hurt. 1400 01:16:35,420 --> 01:16:37,680 Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around. 1401 01:16:37,890 --> 01:16:40,680 But that's just a rumor. Some people swear they saw me 1402 01:16:40,890 --> 01:16:43,080 push her in front of the bus. That was an even worse rumor. 1403 01:16:45,190 --> 01:16:48,680 - Everybody done? - No. Mom, I didn't do it. 1404 01:16:48,890 --> 01:16:50,660 I don't know what to believe anymore. 1405 01:16:50,860 --> 01:16:52,960 Mom, believe me. I'm your daughter. 1406 01:16:56,100 --> 01:16:58,830 Why are my tribal vases under the sink? 1407 01:16:59,040 --> 01:17:02,130 My tribal vases. Why were they under the sink? 1408 01:17:02,710 --> 01:17:04,040 I don't know. 1409 01:17:04,340 --> 01:17:06,640 This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. 1410 01:17:06,850 --> 01:17:09,870 - Does that mean anything to you? - No. 1411 01:17:10,720 --> 01:17:12,510 Who are you? 1412 01:17:17,120 --> 01:17:20,850 Great. All my friends hate me, and now my mom hates me. 1413 01:17:21,060 --> 01:17:22,960 Your mom does not hate you. 1414 01:17:23,160 --> 01:17:25,820 She's afraid of you. 1415 01:17:26,870 --> 01:17:30,860 I don't know, maybe we mainstream-schooled you too soon. 1416 01:17:31,070 --> 01:17:34,940 Maybe you should come back and be home-schooled again for a while. 1417 01:17:35,310 --> 01:17:39,330 No. Only thing worse than going back will be not going back. 1418 01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:42,300 How bad's it gonna be tomorrow? 1419 01:17:42,510 --> 01:17:45,610 Remember when we saw those lions fighting over the wart hog carcass? 1420 01:17:46,520 --> 01:17:47,750 I'll be the wart hog. 1421 01:17:48,250 --> 01:17:49,720 You're not a wart hog, 1422 01:17:49,920 --> 01:17:51,680 you're a lion. 1423 01:17:52,190 --> 01:17:54,620 Just focus on your studies for a little while. 1424 01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:57,290 You're still an excellent student, right? 1425 01:17:57,500 --> 01:18:00,930 Oh, yeah. I need you to sign my calculus test. 1426 01:18:01,300 --> 01:18:03,490 - Why? - I'm failing. 1427 01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:09,570 OK. You are... 1428 01:18:10,910 --> 01:18:12,380 What do they call it? 1429 01:18:12,640 --> 01:18:13,910 Grounded. 1430 01:18:14,380 --> 01:18:15,970 You're grounded. 1431 01:18:44,710 --> 01:18:46,230 She pushed her in front of the bus. 1432 01:18:46,980 --> 01:18:48,570 Did you see her do it? 1433 01:18:48,780 --> 01:18:50,110 Yes. 1434 01:19:04,600 --> 01:19:08,560 Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or Ecstasy tablets? 1435 01:19:08,770 --> 01:19:11,200 - No. - What are marijuana tablets? 1436 01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:13,300 What's going on? Where's Ms. Norbury? 1437 01:19:13,670 --> 01:19:17,730 Mr. Duvall, this is ridiculous. Ms. Norbury does not sell drugs. 1438 01:19:17,940 --> 01:19:21,140 I know, Aaron. But after the allegations against Coach Carr 1439 01:19:21,350 --> 01:19:23,610 turned out to be extremely true, 1440 01:19:23,820 --> 01:19:27,050 the school board felt that it was best that we investigate every claim made 1441 01:19:27,250 --> 01:19:28,480 in this Burn Book. 1442 01:19:28,690 --> 01:19:30,920 That book was written by a bunch of stupid girls 1443 01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:32,990 who make up rumors because they're bored 1444 01:19:33,190 --> 01:19:34,950 with their own lame lives. 1445 01:19:35,160 --> 01:19:37,920 Well, unless someone wants to come forward and say, "I made it all up", 1446 01:19:38,130 --> 01:19:40,720 this is how we have to handle it. To say that someone... 1447 01:19:40,930 --> 01:19:45,600 Oh, no. Bye, Aaron. You're gonna hate me forever. 1448 01:19:46,840 --> 01:19:48,530 Mr. Duvall. 1449 01:19:48,740 --> 01:19:49,970 I wrote it. 1450 01:19:52,880 --> 01:19:54,110 Come on, Cady. 1451 01:20:01,390 --> 01:20:02,880 When you get bit by a snake, 1452 01:20:03,090 --> 01:20:04,950 you're supposed to suck the poison out. 1453 01:20:05,160 --> 01:20:08,960 That's what I had to do. Suck all the poison out of my life. 1454 01:20:09,660 --> 01:20:11,220 I started with Regina, 1455 01:20:11,430 --> 01:20:13,690 who was living proof that the more people are scared of you, 1456 01:20:13,900 --> 01:20:15,200 the more flowers you get. 1457 01:20:16,400 --> 01:20:17,630 Then there was Ms. Norbury, 1458 01:20:17,840 --> 01:20:21,400 who was living proof that no good deed goes unpunished. 1459 01:20:22,070 --> 01:20:24,560 Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs? 1460 01:20:24,780 --> 01:20:28,740 - I'm just done with my quiz. - Wait. I'll grade it right now. 1461 01:20:33,280 --> 01:20:35,510 I gotta say, watching the police search my house 1462 01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:39,210 really was the cherry on top of a fantastic year. 1463 01:20:40,490 --> 01:20:42,980 How much trouble did you get in for telling the truth? 1464 01:20:43,190 --> 01:20:44,490 A lot. 1465 01:20:44,830 --> 01:20:46,350 You didn't write that whole book yourself. 1466 01:20:46,560 --> 01:20:48,190 Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it? 1467 01:20:48,970 --> 01:20:50,260 No, because I'm trying this new thing 1468 01:20:50,470 --> 01:20:52,660 where I don't talk about people behind their backs. 1469 01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:56,100 That's all right. Gething hit by a bus is pretty good punishment. 1470 01:20:56,310 --> 01:20:57,570 Ninety-four. 1471 01:20:57,780 --> 01:20:59,500 Welcome back, nerd. 1472 01:21:00,010 --> 01:21:01,270 Thanks. 1473 01:21:02,380 --> 01:21:03,780 Anyway... 1474 01:21:04,780 --> 01:21:06,250 ...I'm sorry. 1475 01:21:06,450 --> 01:21:07,780 I forgive you. 1476 01:21:08,090 --> 01:21:10,420 But as my own personal form of punishment, 1477 01:21:10,620 --> 01:21:13,020 I figured out how you're gonna earn that extra credit. 1478 01:21:14,530 --> 01:21:15,960 What's up? 1479 01:22:14,490 --> 01:22:17,450 Excellent. Great turnout this year. 1480 01:22:24,800 --> 01:22:26,700 - All right. It's all you. - OK. 1481 01:22:26,900 --> 01:22:28,660 - Make me look good out there. - OK. 1482 01:22:28,870 --> 01:22:32,170 Marymount, you sons of bitches. You no-good sons of bitches. 1483 01:22:33,040 --> 01:22:34,600 - You nervous? - Yes. 1484 01:22:34,810 --> 01:22:38,170 Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, 1485 01:22:38,380 --> 01:22:40,970 because not one of those Marymount boys is cute. 1486 01:22:42,850 --> 01:22:44,180 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 1487 01:22:44,380 --> 01:22:47,010 Welcome to the Illinois High School Mathletes State Championship. 1488 01:22:47,220 --> 01:22:50,150 Let's start the competition. Here is the first question. 1489 01:22:50,590 --> 01:22:53,720 Twice the larger of two numbers is three more than five times 1490 01:22:53,930 --> 01:22:55,830 the smaller, and the sum of four times the larger 1491 01:22:56,030 --> 01:22:59,260 and three times the smaller is 71. What are...? 1492 01:22:59,460 --> 01:23:01,560 - North Shore? - Fourteen and five. 1493 01:23:01,770 --> 01:23:03,320 That is correct. Question number two. 1494 01:23:03,530 --> 01:23:06,630 Find an odd three-digit number whose digits add up to 12. 1495 01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:09,900 The digits are all different, and the difference between the first two digits 1496 01:23:10,110 --> 01:23:11,440 equals the difference between... 1497 01:23:11,640 --> 01:23:13,470 - Marymount? - 741. 1498 01:23:13,680 --> 01:23:17,010 - Correct. - Shoot. I was really rusty. 1499 01:23:17,920 --> 01:23:20,540 - Where's Cady? - She went out. 1500 01:23:20,920 --> 01:23:22,150 She's grounded. 1501 01:23:22,820 --> 01:23:24,980 Are they not allowed out when they're grounded? 1502 01:23:32,030 --> 01:23:35,190 Don't forget to vote for Spring Fling King and Queen, people. 1503 01:23:35,400 --> 01:23:38,230 These A-holes will represent you for a full calendar year. 1504 01:23:38,440 --> 01:23:41,700 I'm gonna vote for Regina George because she got hit by that bus. 1505 01:23:41,910 --> 01:23:45,000 I'm voting for Cady Heron because she pushed her. 1506 01:23:53,220 --> 01:23:56,580 She's supposed to be grounded, but he let her out. 1507 01:23:56,850 --> 01:24:00,620 After 87 minutes of very competitive play, we have a tie. 1508 01:24:00,830 --> 01:24:04,060 In the event of a tie, we move into a sudden-death round. 1509 01:24:04,260 --> 01:24:07,790 Each team is given the opportunity to choose their opponent. 1510 01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:11,970 - North Shore, who do you select? - The girl, dude. The girl. 1511 01:24:12,170 --> 01:24:13,600 Contestant Krafft. 1512 01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:17,040 From Marymount, Miss Caroline Krafft. 1513 01:24:19,840 --> 01:24:21,710 We pick the girl too. 1514 01:24:21,950 --> 01:24:24,240 And from North Shore, Miss Cady Heron. 1515 01:24:24,450 --> 01:24:26,180 It's Cady. 1516 01:24:26,620 --> 01:24:28,110 Oh, my God, that's me. 1517 01:24:36,360 --> 01:24:39,520 Miss Caroline Krafft seriously needed to pluck her eyebrows. 1518 01:24:39,730 --> 01:24:44,060 Her outfit looked like it was picked out by a blind Sunday school teacher. 1519 01:24:44,270 --> 01:24:47,140 And she had some 99-cent lip gloss on her snaggletooth. 1520 01:24:47,610 --> 01:24:50,510 And that's when I realized, making fun of Caroline Krafft 1521 01:24:50,710 --> 01:24:53,270 wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest. 1522 01:24:53,480 --> 01:24:56,940 Contestants, find the limit of this equation. 1523 01:24:57,750 --> 01:25:00,180 Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. 1524 01:25:00,380 --> 01:25:02,720 Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. 1525 01:25:02,920 --> 01:25:06,380 And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. 1526 01:25:06,590 --> 01:25:10,030 All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you. 1527 01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:13,860 - The limit is negative one. - Oh, crap. I lost. 1528 01:25:14,070 --> 01:25:15,690 That answer is incorrect. 1529 01:25:16,500 --> 01:25:19,470 Now, we are in a sudden death. If Miss Heron can answer 1530 01:25:19,670 --> 01:25:22,700 this problem correctly, we have a winner. 1531 01:25:22,910 --> 01:25:25,640 Limits. Why couldn't I remember anything about limits? 1532 01:25:25,840 --> 01:25:28,330 Limits. That was the week Aaron got his hair cut. 1533 01:25:28,550 --> 01:25:30,950 Oh, God, he looked so cute. OK, focus, Cady. 1534 01:25:31,150 --> 01:25:33,480 What was on the board behind Aaron's head? 1535 01:25:34,350 --> 01:25:36,910 If the limit never approaches anything... 1536 01:25:37,120 --> 01:25:39,150 The limit does not exist. 1537 01:25:39,360 --> 01:25:40,690 The limit does not exist! 1538 01:25:40,990 --> 01:25:42,860 Our new state champions, 1539 01:25:43,060 --> 01:25:45,150 - the North Shore Mathletes. - Yeah! 1540 01:25:54,940 --> 01:25:56,370 How do you like me now? 1541 01:25:56,770 --> 01:26:00,370 You like that? Yeah! Get some! Get some! 1542 01:26:00,780 --> 01:26:02,970 Awesome. You went with the leather sleeves. 1543 01:26:03,180 --> 01:26:05,270 - Africa, you did the damn thing. - Thanks. 1544 01:26:06,750 --> 01:26:08,120 Thanks, K.G. 1545 01:26:08,320 --> 01:26:11,550 We're gonna look so kick-ass in these when we roll into Spring Fling. 1546 01:26:11,760 --> 01:26:13,420 - Oh, no, I'm not going. - What? 1547 01:26:13,620 --> 01:26:15,320 Cady, this is your night. Don't let the haters 1548 01:26:15,530 --> 01:26:16,860 stop you from doing your thang. 1549 01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:18,890 Did you just say "thang"? 1550 01:26:19,100 --> 01:26:20,860 Cady, you don't have to punish yourself forever. 1551 01:26:21,230 --> 01:26:22,960 But I'm grounded. 1552 01:26:23,270 --> 01:26:24,860 You're already out. 1553 01:26:35,780 --> 01:26:37,810 All right, do we have all of our nominees 1554 01:26:38,020 --> 01:26:39,850 for king and queen on the stage? 1555 01:26:40,380 --> 01:26:44,790 OK, good. I just wanted to say that you're all winners. 1556 01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:48,890 And I could not be happier that this school year's ending. 1557 01:26:49,630 --> 01:26:55,790 Here we go. The winner of the Spring Fling King, 1558 01:26:56,130 --> 01:26:59,000 - Shane Oman. - Yes! 1559 01:26:59,370 --> 01:27:01,270 That's what I'm talking about! 1560 01:27:04,080 --> 01:27:06,200 And your Spring Fling Queen, 1561 01:27:06,680 --> 01:27:08,870 future co-chair of the Student Activities Board 1562 01:27:09,080 --> 01:27:12,050 and winner of two gift certificates 1563 01:27:12,250 --> 01:27:14,240 to the Walker Brothers Pancake House, 1564 01:27:14,620 --> 01:27:15,980 Cady Heron. 1565 01:27:20,660 --> 01:27:22,460 Where is Cady? 1566 01:27:24,300 --> 01:27:25,960 There she is. 1567 01:27:42,710 --> 01:27:44,200 Thanks. 1568 01:27:46,280 --> 01:27:48,680 Well, half the people in this room are mad at me. 1569 01:27:48,890 --> 01:27:51,790 And the other half only like me 1570 01:27:51,990 --> 01:27:55,190 because they think I pushed somebody in front of a bus. 1571 01:27:55,390 --> 01:27:57,590 So that's not good. 1572 01:27:58,060 --> 01:28:00,720 You know, it's not really required of you to make a speech. 1573 01:28:00,930 --> 01:28:02,870 I'm almost done, I swear. 1574 01:28:03,730 --> 01:28:08,640 To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Burn Book, 1575 01:28:09,170 --> 01:28:10,940 I'm really sorry. 1576 01:28:12,310 --> 01:28:15,340 You know, I've never been to one of these things before. 1577 01:28:15,550 --> 01:28:18,880 And when I think about how many people wanted this 1578 01:28:19,950 --> 01:28:21,940 and how many people cried over it and stuff... 1579 01:28:23,690 --> 01:28:27,590 I mean, I think everybody looks like royalty tonight. 1580 01:28:27,790 --> 01:28:31,820 Look at Jessica Lopez. That dress is amazing. 1581 01:28:32,030 --> 01:28:34,830 And Emma Gerber, I mean, that hairdo must have taken hours, 1582 01:28:35,030 --> 01:28:36,360 and you look really pretty. 1583 01:28:39,140 --> 01:28:40,540 So... 1584 01:28:41,340 --> 01:28:43,770 ...why is everybody stressing over this thing? 1585 01:28:43,970 --> 01:28:48,270 I mean, it's just plastic. Could really just... 1586 01:28:51,250 --> 01:28:52,580 Share it. 1587 01:28:52,920 --> 01:28:57,290 A piece for Gretchen Wieners, a partial Spring Fling Queen. 1588 01:28:59,690 --> 01:29:01,990 A piece for Janis Ian. 1589 01:29:03,590 --> 01:29:06,220 Seriously, most people just take the crown and go. 1590 01:29:06,430 --> 01:29:08,460 And a piece for Regina George. 1591 01:29:08,670 --> 01:29:11,500 She fractured her spine, and she still looks like a rock star. 1592 01:29:13,970 --> 01:29:15,200 Thank you. 1593 01:29:15,410 --> 01:29:17,840 And some for everybody else. 1594 01:29:27,750 --> 01:29:29,510 God, Mr. Duvall, can you wrap it up? 1595 01:29:30,190 --> 01:29:31,650 Thanks. 1596 01:29:32,490 --> 01:29:34,820 All right, have a good time, everyone. 1597 01:29:41,830 --> 01:29:43,300 Look. I'm a queen. 1598 01:29:43,500 --> 01:29:45,060 As am I. 1599 01:29:45,500 --> 01:29:47,630 - Hey. - Hey. 1600 01:29:48,270 --> 01:29:50,330 So are we still in a fight? 1601 01:29:50,540 --> 01:29:52,630 Are you still an asshole? 1602 01:29:52,840 --> 01:29:54,070 I don't think so. 1603 01:29:54,280 --> 01:29:56,270 Well, then I guess we're OK. 1604 01:29:56,610 --> 01:29:58,450 Oh, my God, I love this song! 1605 01:29:58,650 --> 01:29:59,780 I hate this song. 1606 01:29:59,980 --> 01:30:01,820 I know this song! 1607 01:30:03,020 --> 01:30:05,220 Man candy, stage right. 1608 01:30:07,890 --> 01:30:10,790 - Hey, what's up? - Hey. Didn't think you'd make it. 1609 01:30:13,060 --> 01:30:16,330 On behalf of the senior class, I'd like to present you with two gift certificates... 1610 01:30:16,530 --> 01:30:18,230 - Thanks, sucker. - Yo, peace. 1611 01:30:19,970 --> 01:30:23,240 One gift certificate to the Walker Brothers Pancake House. 1612 01:30:23,670 --> 01:30:25,470 Thank you. 1613 01:30:29,910 --> 01:30:31,880 Congratulations on winning State. 1614 01:30:33,050 --> 01:30:34,680 I was so nervous. They made us do limits. 1615 01:30:34,890 --> 01:30:36,610 I thought I was gonna hurl. 1616 01:30:36,820 --> 01:30:39,080 - How's your stomach now? - It's fine. 1617 01:30:39,290 --> 01:30:42,120 - Do you feel nauseous at all? - No. 1618 01:30:42,330 --> 01:30:44,060 - Have you been drinking? - No. 1619 01:30:44,660 --> 01:30:45,890 OK. 1620 01:30:46,100 --> 01:30:47,320 Grool. 1621 01:31:12,590 --> 01:31:13,950 No. 1622 01:31:15,860 --> 01:31:18,520 - What's up? - Can I help you? 1623 01:31:19,160 --> 01:31:20,630 You Puerto Rican? 1624 01:31:20,830 --> 01:31:22,390 Lebanese. 1625 01:31:22,600 --> 01:31:24,120 I feel that. 1626 01:31:39,520 --> 01:31:42,110 In case you're wondering, The Plastics broke up. 1627 01:31:42,320 --> 01:31:44,410 Regina's spine healed, and her physical therapist 1628 01:31:44,620 --> 01:31:46,920 taught her to channel all her rage into sports. 1629 01:31:51,900 --> 01:31:54,590 It was perfect because the jock girls weren't afraid of her. 1630 01:31:58,900 --> 01:32:02,430 Karen used her special talents to do the morning weather announcements. 1631 01:32:02,640 --> 01:32:06,040 Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees, 1632 01:32:06,240 --> 01:32:10,480 and there's a 30 percent chance that it's already raining. 1633 01:32:11,350 --> 01:32:13,180 And Gretchen found herself a new clique 1634 01:32:13,380 --> 01:32:15,050 and a new queen bee to serve. 1635 01:32:19,990 --> 01:32:23,290 Aaron went to Northwestern, so I still get to see him on weekends. 1636 01:32:23,490 --> 01:32:24,460 And me? 1637 01:32:24,660 --> 01:32:27,320 I had gone from home-schooled jungle freak to shiny Plastic 1638 01:32:27,530 --> 01:32:30,630 to most hated person in the world to actual human being. 1639 01:32:30,830 --> 01:32:32,060 Hey. 1640 01:32:32,500 --> 01:32:36,300 All the drama from last year just wasn't important anymore. 1641 01:32:36,510 --> 01:32:40,310 School used to be like a shark tank, but now I could just float. 1642 01:32:40,510 --> 01:32:41,740 Regina. 1643 01:32:41,950 --> 01:32:44,470 Finally, Girl World was at peace. 1644 01:32:46,550 --> 01:32:50,610 Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics. 1645 01:32:50,820 --> 01:32:54,190 And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace... 1646 01:32:54,390 --> 01:32:57,380 Well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it. 1647 01:33:03,330 --> 01:33:04,960 Just kidding.