1 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,900 INSPECTOR CHAN 2 00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:53,060 SUPER CRIME FIGHTERS 3 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,250 Anyone else? 4 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,590 Such a beautiful woman... 5 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,130 ...and you arrest her... 6 00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:23,030 ...just for spitting? 7 00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,940 Is there no justice? 8 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,200 Is there no law? 9 00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:33,770 Commissioner is only your boss... 10 00:02:33,950 --> 00:02:36,540 ...because he paid his dues to the Crocodile Gang. 11 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:39,720 And you don't fucking know me? 12 00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:43,520 Sorry, I didn't know she was your wife. 13 00:02:45,890 --> 00:02:47,620 Ugly coward! 14 00:02:57,910 --> 00:03:01,140 What are you looking at? Never seen such a handsome gang boss? 15 00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:10,420 Who'd be in the film business? 16 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,350 It's Sunday, and the theater's deserted. 17 00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:15,660 Where's the car? 18 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,490 Let's go back inside! 19 00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:51,580 Call for help! 20 00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:56,360 No need for that, Northerner. 21 00:03:56,530 --> 00:04:01,870 While you were messing with the cop, your men signed up with us. 22 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,370 I'll kill all you Axe Gangsters! 23 00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:44,240 Stop! You forget the time I treated you to dinner. 24 00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:56,450 Brother Sum. 25 00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:05,290 Please... 26 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,700 Please spare me. 27 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,100 Don't worry. 28 00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:15,510 I don't kill women. You can go! 29 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,940 Thank you, Big Brother. 30 00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:34,520 Cops! Come clean up the mess! 31 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,370 THE AXE GANG 32 00:06:58,550 --> 00:06:59,750 In a time of social unrest and disorder... 33 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:00,480 In a time of social unrest and disorder... 34 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:03,450 ...the gangs have moved in to consolidate their power. 35 00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:06,050 The most feared of them all is the Axe Gang. 36 00:07:06,220 --> 00:07:10,050 Only in the poorest districts, which hold no interest for the gangs... 37 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:11,890 ...can people live in peace. 38 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,060 PIG STY ALLE Y 39 00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:38,510 One, two, three! 40 00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:41,420 - That okay, Coolie? - No problem! 41 00:07:59,540 --> 00:08:00,940 TAILOR 42 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,680 NOODLES AND CONGEE 43 00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:30,060 My check, please, Donut. 44 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:35,970 - How much? - It's on the house! 45 00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:37,340 Donut. 46 00:08:37,510 --> 00:08:39,840 - It's nothing. - I like you. 47 00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:43,010 I'll ask the wife about lowering your rent. 48 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,420 Morning, Landlord! 49 00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:49,480 Landlord! 50 00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,320 Jill! How you've grown! 51 00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:53,690 Come let me examine you! 52 00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:08,670 Good to see you, Landlord! 53 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,330 What's so good about it? 54 00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:11,670 Don't...! 55 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:22,850 Can you make the skirt slit higher? 56 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,050 Sure! 57 00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:26,690 Look, a comet! 58 00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:31,720 Jane! You naughty girl! 59 00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:35,600 Landlord! You're such a scoundrel! 60 00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:42,730 Don't go, Jane! Stay and chat! 61 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,210 I'm only kidding. Jane! 62 00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:08,070 Landlady! 63 00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:10,340 Landlady! 64 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,970 What happened to the water? 65 00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:31,580 Water ain't free! 66 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,990 You talk a lot for someone who won't pay his rent. 67 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,860 But I'm in the middle of a shampoo. 68 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,500 You think that's a problem? 69 00:10:41,670 --> 00:10:44,700 From now on, no water on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. 70 00:10:44,870 --> 00:10:47,810 Water ration Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. 71 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:52,840 I just love hearing you fools complain. Assholes! 72 00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:54,210 Good morning, Landlady! 73 00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:58,610 Just pay your rent, or I'll burn your shop down. 74 00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:02,520 What's so funny? Rent's no laughing matter, fairy! 75 00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:08,450 Serves you right you're a coolie! 76 00:11:08,630 --> 00:11:11,830 Months overdue and not even a "good morning." 77 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,860 You'll be a coolie for life. 78 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,710 There you go, handsome! 79 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:28,080 What took you so long with the congee? 80 00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:31,150 I stopped to help an old lady cross the street. 81 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,080 - What are you doing here? - Checking for Peeping Toms. 82 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,490 Was someone just spying on you, Auntie Six? 83 00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:40,220 Don't shoot your mouth off without proof. 84 00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:46,270 She's crazy. 85 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,530 Go away! 86 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:41,950 Please can you teach us, sir? 87 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,220 No more soccer! 88 00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:21,760 - Who wants the cut? - My boss. 89 00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:25,590 Take a seat. 90 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,970 Done! Fifty cents, please. 91 00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:42,010 Isn't it great? 92 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,810 It's too good! 93 00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:46,850 Why'd you make him look so good? 94 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,950 Why? 95 00:13:56,360 --> 00:14:00,030 Don't get mad, boss. He's my old buddy. I'll handle this. 96 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,700 He's boss of the Axe Gang. Don't you see the two axes? We're bad guys. 97 00:14:05,870 --> 00:14:08,710 Making him look good is really bad. Understand? 98 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,170 - I didn't know. - You're a numskull! 99 00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:14,970 But I like you, so just pay me, and I'll take care of it. 100 00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:16,210 No way! 101 00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:22,250 Steady with the axe, boss. Let me talk to him. 102 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:27,990 I really care for you. You saw it for yourself. Seriously. 103 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:32,500 Why don't you pay up. Not much. Enough for a drink. 104 00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:34,830 Oh, so it's blackmail! 105 00:14:36,670 --> 00:14:38,000 Boss! 106 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,000 Boss! 107 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,010 Now you're dead! 108 00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:49,710 Looks like he's waking up! 109 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,220 I'm not afraid. 110 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,350 You can kill me. 111 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,920 But there'll be thousands more of me! 112 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:03,390 You want to play tough? The Axe Gang boss is napping in there. 113 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,360 Whoever wants to die, step forward. 114 00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:10,140 So you want to fight? 115 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,360 Great! We'll go one-on-one. 116 00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:16,700 Don't even think about cheating. 117 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,700 That old woman with the onion! 118 00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:26,380 You look real tough. Want to try me? I'll let you hit me first. 119 00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:32,490 What do you do? 120 00:15:32,660 --> 00:15:34,390 I'm a farmer. 121 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:38,050 Farmers don't fight. Piss off! 122 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:39,600 He's crazy! 123 00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:41,290 Calling me names? 124 00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:44,060 You're lucky you're a woman. 125 00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:50,510 Hey, shorty! Yeah, you! If you're short, you don't retort. 126 00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:57,420 What did I say about cheating? 127 00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:58,850 Sit back down! 128 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:04,520 You! The geezer with the glasses. You look mean. 129 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:10,820 No, not you. I mean... 130 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,120 You! 131 00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:15,030 Hey, kid, let's rumble! 132 00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:18,800 All right, all right! 133 00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:22,670 So no one-on-ones today. 134 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,040 You're all such wimps! 135 00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:30,110 He blackmailed me. 136 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,680 Fat woman, you're in charge here, right? 137 00:16:33,850 --> 00:16:35,620 Fat woman, my ass! 138 00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:37,550 I'm with the Axe Gang! 139 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:38,850 Axe Gang, my ass! 140 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:40,020 Boss! 141 00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:41,790 Boss, my ass! 142 00:16:42,030 --> 00:16:44,220 - You have to pay our medical bills! - Bills, my ass! 143 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,660 - We're on the same side! - Same side, my ass! 144 00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:52,970 Think you're so tough? I'll call for backup! 145 00:16:53,210 --> 00:16:57,640 You nitwit! Let's see you call backup! 146 00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:02,640 You don't know the backup I have. I'm talking an army here. 147 00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:08,820 Don't you go away! Go put a down payment on your coffin! 148 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,770 Who threw the firecracker? 149 00:17:30,010 --> 00:17:31,500 I'm one of you, brother. 150 00:17:53,870 --> 00:17:55,360 Mind your own business! 151 00:17:55,540 --> 00:17:59,030 It's raining. Go bring in your laundry! 152 00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:00,600 Fat woman! 153 00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:17,890 You blackmailing me too? I ain't afraid. 154 00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:35,200 I... 155 00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:57,890 Did anyone see what happened? 156 00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,560 Don't! My back's broken! 157 00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,030 Call for help! 158 00:19:58,260 --> 00:20:01,720 Hold on, calm down. You hungry? 159 00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:28,280 Keep quiet. 160 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,100 No. 161 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:10,450 Who did this? 162 00:21:14,330 --> 00:21:16,230 I'll count to three. 163 00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,230 One... 164 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,810 ...two... 165 00:21:37,290 --> 00:21:38,450 I did it! 166 00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:58,160 Are the goods okay, Brother Sum? 167 00:25:00,230 --> 00:25:01,460 Sorry! 168 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,590 Look away, kid. 169 00:25:10,870 --> 00:25:12,200 Get rid of him! 170 00:25:13,570 --> 00:25:15,560 We're the bad guys! 171 00:25:15,740 --> 00:25:17,770 We're meant to do the ass-kicking... 172 00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:20,870 ...not the other way around. 173 00:25:21,050 --> 00:25:24,380 And it's all because these morons posed as Axes. 174 00:25:24,550 --> 00:25:27,780 Don't waste your time, Brother Sum. 175 00:25:27,950 --> 00:25:30,720 We'll handle this. 176 00:25:30,890 --> 00:25:32,790 You! Take care of it. 177 00:25:47,010 --> 00:25:52,070 - Boy, can this guy pick locks. - It's a living. Give me a break. 178 00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:54,910 Pick that one too, if you're so good. 179 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:56,300 Come. 180 00:25:57,020 --> 00:25:59,820 I'll count to three. 181 00:26:00,620 --> 00:26:01,640 Hurry! 182 00:26:03,390 --> 00:26:05,220 Ready? Three! 183 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,030 That's quick! 184 00:26:18,370 --> 00:26:20,900 Brother Sum, we really want to be Axes. 185 00:26:21,070 --> 00:26:23,980 That's why we did what we did. Give us a chance. 186 00:26:24,310 --> 00:26:25,640 Ever killed anyone? 187 00:26:25,810 --> 00:26:28,300 I've always thought about it. 188 00:26:28,650 --> 00:26:30,080 Then go kill someone. 189 00:26:30,250 --> 00:26:32,220 I will! 190 00:26:33,590 --> 00:26:34,650 Go on! 191 00:26:35,060 --> 00:26:36,550 Thank you, Brother Sum. 192 00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:51,590 We can always find a use for that type. 193 00:26:55,010 --> 00:26:57,840 I told you before, you've got to look tough. 194 00:26:58,010 --> 00:26:59,500 Tougher! 195 00:27:00,850 --> 00:27:02,610 Tougher! 196 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,240 Act the part. 197 00:27:06,420 --> 00:27:07,890 And try to stay awake. 198 00:27:08,050 --> 00:27:09,420 It's tiring being tough. 199 00:27:09,590 --> 00:27:12,680 Tiring? It's our living! 200 00:27:13,830 --> 00:27:17,520 The streets out there are filled with money and women. 201 00:27:17,700 --> 00:27:20,430 You only need the will and determination... 202 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,930 ...to seize the opportunity to win. 203 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,760 This is our big chance! 204 00:27:25,940 --> 00:27:28,640 We just kill someone, and we're in the gang. 205 00:27:29,110 --> 00:27:32,600 Then it'll be money and women all the way! 206 00:27:33,550 --> 00:27:36,410 Don't be like those beggars... 207 00:27:36,620 --> 00:27:39,350 ...with no ambition. 208 00:27:44,290 --> 00:27:47,450 Who are you looking at, four-eyes? I'll smash your glasses! 209 00:27:48,830 --> 00:27:50,460 Get lost! 210 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,130 Come here and say that! 211 00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:54,460 - You're really gonna kill someone? - That's right! 212 00:27:54,630 --> 00:27:58,230 The four-eyes, the fat woman and all the residents of Pig Sty. 213 00:27:58,410 --> 00:28:00,170 But they're good at kung fu. 214 00:28:00,340 --> 00:28:03,170 - I can do kung fu! - Oh, yeah? 215 00:28:05,310 --> 00:28:08,970 Didn't I tell you I know Buddhist Palm kung fu? 216 00:28:10,780 --> 00:28:14,220 Hey there, handsome boy. Stop. 217 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,650 Amazing! 218 00:28:19,060 --> 00:28:23,330 Do you know you have a special aura? 219 00:28:23,930 --> 00:28:27,370 You're so young, but you have the bone structure... 220 00:28:27,530 --> 00:28:30,940 and chi flow of a kung-fu genius. 221 00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:35,700 If your chi flow can be channeled, then you will be invincible! 222 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,440 Like the old saying: You cannot escape your destiny. 223 00:28:39,910 --> 00:28:44,680 The duty of upholding world peace and punishing evil will be yours. 224 00:28:45,190 --> 00:28:46,170 Sure. 225 00:28:47,090 --> 00:28:50,520 This is the scroll of the Buddhist Palm. It's priceless. 226 00:28:50,690 --> 00:28:54,220 But as it's fate, I'll let you have it for $ 10. 227 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,550 BUDDHIST PALM MANUAL 228 00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:05,060 - You gave him your life savings? - Yes. 229 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,500 I was saving to study to be a doctor or lawyer... 230 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,080 ...but this was world peace. 231 00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:37,430 Let go of the girl! 232 00:29:56,390 --> 00:29:59,220 Hey! It's the Buddhist Palm! 233 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,720 "The 20-Cent Kung Fu Manual." 234 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:03,620 You must be loaded. 235 00:30:04,030 --> 00:30:06,190 Have you killed anyone lately? 236 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:22,380 He's a fool, and she's mute. Losers! 237 00:30:24,150 --> 00:30:27,980 I realized then that good guys never win. I want to be bad. 238 00:30:28,820 --> 00:30:30,920 I want to be the killer! 239 00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,420 - Ice cream! - Where? 240 00:30:35,230 --> 00:30:36,990 Make mine a vanilla. 241 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:38,530 Chocolate for me! 242 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,070 What're you looking at? Never seen free ice cream before? 243 00:30:58,520 --> 00:30:59,680 Look at her run! 244 00:31:15,030 --> 00:31:20,370 You're such kung-fu masters, go take it on the road. 245 00:31:20,540 --> 00:31:22,870 You belong in the circus, not here! 246 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:27,270 Don't say that, Landlady. There must be a reason they're here. 247 00:31:27,580 --> 00:31:29,950 Everyone has his reasons. 248 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,210 We don't want to make trouble. 249 00:31:32,390 --> 00:31:35,080 I'm glad you get it. The mob's mad at us. 250 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:38,380 We'll never hear the end of it. Why don't you get lost! 251 00:31:39,460 --> 00:31:41,720 Your wife shouldn't be so nasty. 252 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,830 You okay? 253 00:31:47,770 --> 00:31:49,290 Masters. 254 00:31:56,910 --> 00:31:58,900 We have nothing precious to give you... 255 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,410 ...but take this as a token of our appreciation. 256 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,180 Thanks for saving us! 257 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,920 Stop the crying. This isn't a show! 258 00:32:15,090 --> 00:32:18,660 - You're so cold-hearted. - Talking back to me, eh? 259 00:32:18,830 --> 00:32:21,630 You may know kung fu, but you're still a fairy. 260 00:32:24,140 --> 00:32:27,040 It's no crime to be good at kung fu! 261 00:32:27,210 --> 00:32:29,970 Once a fairy, always a fairy. 262 00:32:30,140 --> 00:32:33,670 Look at you. What's with the red underwear? 263 00:32:33,850 --> 00:32:36,340 Why not a diaper while you're at it. 264 00:32:37,620 --> 00:32:39,640 What's wrong with red underwear? 265 00:32:39,890 --> 00:32:42,720 Where were you when there was trouble? 266 00:32:42,890 --> 00:32:46,850 If it weren't for them, we'd be finished. Be reasonable! 267 00:32:47,030 --> 00:32:48,520 I'll reason with you. 268 00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:51,960 You owe me three months' rent. That's $90. 269 00:32:52,130 --> 00:32:54,400 Pay up or pack up! 270 00:32:54,570 --> 00:32:56,730 Don't you worry. I'll pay it. 271 00:32:56,900 --> 00:32:59,390 Think you're a smartass, Rabbit-Tooth Jane? 272 00:32:59,570 --> 00:33:02,200 What's it to you, tub of lard? 273 00:33:02,380 --> 00:33:03,540 Bitch! 274 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,340 Calm down, Landlady. 275 00:33:07,750 --> 00:33:09,810 This is your fault. 276 00:33:12,020 --> 00:33:14,320 - Are you trying to kill us? - You're right. 277 00:33:14,490 --> 00:33:16,650 How could you do that? 278 00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:18,760 Shut the hell up! 279 00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:34,240 You think you can out-yell me? 280 00:33:38,340 --> 00:33:41,110 The fat lady can really sing. 281 00:33:42,150 --> 00:33:43,640 Watch this! 282 00:33:58,600 --> 00:33:59,790 What happened? 283 00:34:00,170 --> 00:34:03,100 What do you mean, what happened? You try it. 284 00:34:03,270 --> 00:34:05,240 - Me? - Quick! 285 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,340 Sorry! You okay? 286 00:34:14,110 --> 00:34:17,450 I think you should get closer and take better aim. Okay? 287 00:34:17,620 --> 00:34:18,610 Okay! 288 00:34:30,830 --> 00:34:33,490 - Who's throwing the handles? - Handle? 289 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,600 Where's the third knife? 290 00:34:38,270 --> 00:34:40,710 God knows where it went. 291 00:34:40,870 --> 00:34:43,340 Could it be the same one? Can't be... 292 00:34:43,510 --> 00:34:45,270 - Don't! - Sorry. 293 00:34:47,450 --> 00:34:49,280 What are you trying to say? 294 00:34:49,450 --> 00:34:53,610 I just remembered I have something to do. See you! 295 00:34:56,220 --> 00:34:58,280 Uh-oh. They've seen us! 296 00:34:59,790 --> 00:35:01,230 Stay back! 297 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:13,900 Don't panic! Snakes like music. If I whistle, they won't bite. 298 00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:15,630 Please, no more bright ideas. 299 00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,210 Oh, what the hell! 300 00:35:27,990 --> 00:35:29,550 Not you again, asshole! 301 00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:33,090 Get back to your business! 302 00:35:34,930 --> 00:35:36,420 Split up! 303 00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:39,860 Split? 304 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:54,130 What're you doing here? 305 00:37:54,300 --> 00:37:56,460 Looking for you. Weren't you hurt? 306 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:57,830 I'm fine! 307 00:37:59,910 --> 00:38:02,810 How come you always recover so fast? 308 00:38:03,140 --> 00:38:04,630 I don't know. 309 00:38:05,010 --> 00:38:07,640 - Which hospital did you go to? - Don't remember. 310 00:38:08,410 --> 00:38:10,040 Maybe it's better that way. 311 00:38:10,220 --> 00:38:14,920 Memories can be painful. To forget may be a blessing! 312 00:38:15,090 --> 00:38:17,920 I never knew you were so deep. 313 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,650 All the sadness one can bear... 314 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,900 ...down the river everywhere. 315 00:38:35,210 --> 00:38:36,800 Hey, get out of the way! 316 00:38:36,980 --> 00:38:38,240 Move! 317 00:38:38,410 --> 00:38:40,070 I'll slap you to kingdom come! 318 00:38:40,450 --> 00:38:44,280 Look at those four-eyes carting around a coffin. 319 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,610 What morons! 320 00:38:49,820 --> 00:38:51,980 Don't blame me for making you leave. 321 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:56,220 We'll let Buddha decide... 322 00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:59,100 ...whether you stay... 323 00:38:59,270 --> 00:39:01,700 ...or go. 324 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,600 HORRIFICALLY BAD FATE 325 00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:21,350 Have some tea. 326 00:39:28,630 --> 00:39:31,690 We're grateful for some professional help. 327 00:39:31,860 --> 00:39:35,530 We understand the problem. Twelve Kicks from the Tam School... 328 00:39:35,700 --> 00:39:40,700 ...Iron Fist from the Hung School and the Hexagon Staff... 329 00:39:41,270 --> 00:39:43,260 Those guys at Pig Sty are really good. 330 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,710 Their warrior days are long over... 331 00:39:46,210 --> 00:39:49,650 ...but they're still top fighters. 332 00:39:50,050 --> 00:39:54,880 This job is a great challenge for us. 333 00:39:55,220 --> 00:39:57,750 Now, that's professionalism. 334 00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:03,260 Number One Killers. Expensive, yes, but worth every penny! 335 00:40:03,430 --> 00:40:04,420 No! 336 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:09,660 Number one is the Beast, the world's top killer. 337 00:40:10,140 --> 00:40:14,440 He was so dedicated to kung fu, he went crazy. 338 00:40:14,610 --> 00:40:17,910 I heard he's now in an asylum. 339 00:40:18,510 --> 00:40:21,810 So you're the top killers now. 340 00:40:21,980 --> 00:40:26,350 Strictly speaking, we're just musicians. 341 00:40:26,650 --> 00:40:31,420 A song that wrenches the heart O where do I find a knowing ear? 342 00:40:31,690 --> 00:40:36,090 Great poem, isn't it? 343 00:40:44,170 --> 00:40:45,690 We'll be saying goodbye soon. 344 00:40:45,870 --> 00:40:48,360 Who knows when we'll see each other again. 345 00:40:49,110 --> 00:40:53,310 We're three of a kind. Wish we'd known before. 346 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,780 Let's take this opportunity to spar a little. 347 00:40:57,020 --> 00:41:00,380 No. We still have a lot to pack. 348 00:41:01,150 --> 00:41:02,880 You're right. 349 00:41:40,990 --> 00:41:44,330 Twelve Kicks of the Tam School! Superb attack and defense! 350 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,360 Iron Fist: Powerful yet delicate. Topnotch! 351 00:41:47,530 --> 00:41:50,830 Hexagon Staff, with its thousand moves. Mystical! 352 00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:53,640 Till we meet again! 353 00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:04,300 More lipstick! 354 00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:26,690 Stay there, or I'll break you in half. 355 00:43:50,620 --> 00:43:52,680 Sorry, we're closed. 356 00:43:52,860 --> 00:43:54,880 You can make a suit in no time. 357 00:43:55,060 --> 00:43:56,550 We're moving. 358 00:43:56,730 --> 00:43:58,560 This is good material! 359 00:43:59,230 --> 00:44:01,560 You know your stuff. 360 00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:04,260 This has high artistic value. 361 00:44:04,870 --> 00:44:06,200 How high? 362 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,470 At least a few stories... 363 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:20,710 Insulting the Axe Gang! We'll show them. 364 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:24,040 Let's kill them all and make this place a brothel. 365 00:45:24,220 --> 00:45:26,210 Don't block my view! 366 00:46:15,770 --> 00:46:16,760 What's going on? 367 00:46:28,210 --> 00:46:29,340 Good! 368 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,350 Don't block my view! 369 00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,690 Damn! I told those nitwits to leave, but they're still here. 370 00:46:39,860 --> 00:46:41,590 - Really? - Yeah. 371 00:47:05,150 --> 00:47:09,140 What the hell is this fighting? Who'll pay for the damage? 372 00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:11,310 Sorry, sorry. It's nothing! 373 00:48:51,990 --> 00:48:55,050 You know what time it is? I have to sleep. 374 00:48:56,190 --> 00:48:58,090 Hey, fatso, eat shit and die! 375 00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:00,490 Die? In this racket? 376 00:49:00,670 --> 00:49:02,690 Sorry, sorry! 377 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,990 Get out of my way! 378 00:49:07,770 --> 00:49:09,500 Hang in there, Tailor. 379 00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:20,610 Be quiet! 380 00:49:25,860 --> 00:49:30,590 Give us a break! Why push us so far? 381 00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:46,470 There's another master? 382 00:52:13,590 --> 00:52:15,580 It's the Lion's Roar! 383 00:52:16,260 --> 00:52:18,090 I thought that was a myth. 384 00:52:19,300 --> 00:52:22,270 Who knew the Lion's Roar really exists? 385 00:52:22,430 --> 00:52:26,030 That's the last we'll see of them. 386 00:52:29,210 --> 00:52:31,540 It's bad, Brother Sum. Quick, start the car! 387 00:52:31,910 --> 00:52:33,540 Start the car! 388 00:52:40,290 --> 00:52:41,450 Boss! 389 00:52:41,620 --> 00:52:43,880 Keep it down! Have you no manners? 390 00:52:44,060 --> 00:52:46,460 Get lost. People are trying to sleep. 391 00:52:46,630 --> 00:52:49,590 They have to work tomorrow. Get out of here! 392 00:52:52,830 --> 00:52:54,460 Scumbags! 393 00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:23,340 I can't hang on much longer. 394 00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:29,590 But having seen real masters like you... 395 00:54:30,330 --> 00:54:32,390 ...I can now die in peace. 396 00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:34,500 Don't say that. 397 00:54:34,670 --> 00:54:37,600 We're ordinary folks. 398 00:54:37,770 --> 00:54:39,530 Ordinary's a blessing. 399 00:54:39,700 --> 00:54:43,160 Don't call us masters. 400 00:54:43,340 --> 00:54:45,240 But you're such great fighters! 401 00:54:45,410 --> 00:54:49,680 If only you'd helped earlier, they wouldn't have to die this way. 402 00:54:50,180 --> 00:54:54,350 Like Donut said, everyone has his reasons. 403 00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:56,850 Years ago... 404 00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,450 ...we saw our only son killed in a fight. 405 00:55:02,730 --> 00:55:05,390 Revenge can be devastating. 406 00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,930 Do you understand? 407 00:55:08,100 --> 00:55:11,190 Why don't you train us to be top fighters... 408 00:55:11,370 --> 00:55:14,360 ...and we'll avenge them! 409 00:55:14,710 --> 00:55:18,700 Becoming a top fighter takes time. 410 00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:21,440 Unless you're a natural-born kung-fu genius. 411 00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:25,380 And they're one in a million. 412 00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:35,150 It's obvious I'm the one! 413 00:55:38,730 --> 00:55:40,930 Don't think so. 414 00:55:41,900 --> 00:55:47,270 Everyone! We swore we'd never fight again. 415 00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:49,840 But we broke that promise today. 416 00:55:50,010 --> 00:55:53,570 For your own safety, please all leave! 417 00:55:58,020 --> 00:56:01,580 In great power lies great responsibility. 418 00:56:02,090 --> 00:56:03,950 There's no escaping from it. 419 00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:06,920 Donut, you're hurt bad. 420 00:56:07,090 --> 00:56:08,650 Rest now. 421 00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:16,030 We can't understand what you're saying. 422 00:56:17,670 --> 00:56:18,760 Donut! 423 00:56:31,820 --> 00:56:33,810 I know you, four-eyes! 424 00:56:35,220 --> 00:56:39,820 You seem prejudiced against the sight-challenged. 425 00:56:39,990 --> 00:56:43,290 That's right. Especially gold-framed four-eyes. 426 00:56:47,530 --> 00:56:50,870 Gold frames are perfect for clerks. 427 00:56:51,040 --> 00:56:54,130 I think I look good. So why keep picking on me? 428 00:56:56,510 --> 00:56:57,500 Help me! 429 00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:03,080 "Help me! Help me!" Want to play, punks? 430 00:57:03,250 --> 00:57:05,080 The Dragon Style? The Tiger Style? 431 00:57:09,820 --> 00:57:14,260 Come down here, and I'll smash your glasses. Come on! 432 00:57:15,930 --> 00:57:18,160 You know I'd do it, right? 433 00:57:19,500 --> 00:57:20,830 Swear to it! 434 00:57:21,430 --> 00:57:22,760 Swear! 435 00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:29,900 Have you no respect? Where were you when I needed you? 436 00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:33,370 You sound like a wimp! 437 00:57:33,550 --> 00:57:36,710 We always get beat! We haven't gotten anywhere. 438 00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:40,610 No killing, no arson, no robberies, no rapes... 439 00:57:40,790 --> 00:57:43,350 ...all because of you! 440 00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:45,850 You're a numb-nut! 441 00:57:48,260 --> 00:57:49,590 Follow me! 442 00:57:58,270 --> 00:57:59,900 It's a stickup! Where's the money? 443 00:58:04,810 --> 00:58:07,000 Where's the money? 444 00:58:08,610 --> 00:58:10,740 What're you looking at? I'm serious! 445 00:58:15,690 --> 00:58:19,680 I kill people for less! Give me the money. 446 00:58:38,110 --> 00:58:39,770 The money's in here. 447 00:59:15,710 --> 00:59:17,540 Let go of the girl! 448 00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:35,230 He's a fool, and she's mute. Losers! 449 01:00:18,710 --> 01:00:22,110 Go away! You're dragging me down! 450 01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:27,980 Go home and raise pigs. 451 01:00:32,890 --> 01:00:34,380 Go, before I kill you. 452 01:01:23,210 --> 01:01:26,610 You! Whatsyourname! 453 01:01:35,690 --> 01:01:39,120 Take this and get some new clothes. You're now an Axe! 454 01:01:39,290 --> 01:01:43,120 - For real? - Someone's waiting for you. 455 01:01:50,030 --> 01:01:51,190 Brother Sum! 456 01:01:51,370 --> 01:01:55,860 One look at you, and I knew you'd do anything. 457 01:01:56,170 --> 01:01:57,160 Right! 458 01:01:57,340 --> 01:01:59,140 You just needed your chance. 459 01:01:59,910 --> 01:02:00,970 Damn right! 460 01:02:01,150 --> 01:02:02,810 We've an assignment for you. 461 01:02:02,980 --> 01:02:04,540 Anything, Brother Sum! 462 01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:26,390 "Research on abnormal people." What's that? 463 01:02:26,570 --> 01:02:28,370 A mental asylum. 464 01:02:34,110 --> 01:02:35,340 Soldiers! 465 01:02:35,510 --> 01:02:37,240 Boy Scouts! 466 01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:38,400 Tanks! 467 01:02:38,580 --> 01:02:40,550 No worries. 468 01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:44,350 When the Boy Scouts change shifts, you have exactly five minutes. 469 01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:48,460 Follow the arrows on the map. Go to the last cell... 470 01:02:48,630 --> 01:02:53,290 ...and get the man inside there out. Here's your tools. 471 01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:00,690 What about you guys? 472 01:03:00,870 --> 01:03:02,860 We're your lookouts. 473 01:03:14,220 --> 01:03:16,210 Five minutes. Hurry! 474 01:05:30,520 --> 01:05:35,360 The world's top killer indeed looks the part! 475 01:05:36,390 --> 01:05:38,730 It's only a title. 476 01:05:38,900 --> 01:05:42,350 Cut the bullshit. We want two people killed. Name your price. 477 01:05:42,900 --> 01:05:44,420 Name my what? 478 01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:52,070 I've killed so many trying to find a worthy adversary. 479 01:05:52,410 --> 01:05:55,710 So far, I've never found one. 480 01:05:56,050 --> 01:05:57,880 That's why I stayed inside. 481 01:05:58,050 --> 01:06:02,450 Had I met my match, I'd have been out long ago. 482 01:06:02,620 --> 01:06:05,090 If you find me a worthy opponent... 483 01:06:05,260 --> 01:06:07,550 ...I'll do it for free. No charge! 484 01:06:09,730 --> 01:06:10,890 Do you have someone? 485 01:06:11,060 --> 01:06:16,300 Yes. Brilliant fighters who are up to the challenge. 486 01:06:16,470 --> 01:06:18,800 But first, will you show us some moves? 487 01:06:18,970 --> 01:06:22,030 Not that we don't trust you. We want to see you in action. 488 01:06:22,410 --> 01:06:26,670 You numskulls aren't worthy! 489 01:06:31,180 --> 01:06:32,840 He doesn't look the part. 490 01:06:33,750 --> 01:06:38,950 The slippers are a little crappy. But he'll clean up well. 491 01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:41,020 You sure you got the right guy? 492 01:06:41,190 --> 01:06:44,530 Absolutely. I swear I did exactly what you told me. 493 01:06:45,830 --> 01:06:49,790 Please show us some moves, Mr. Beast. Don't make it hard for me! 494 01:06:49,970 --> 01:06:51,590 You dumb or what? 495 01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:54,430 You know what this is, old man? 496 01:06:54,870 --> 01:06:57,310 Ever seen a fist this big? 497 01:06:57,480 --> 01:07:00,600 Don't force me to fight. I scare myself when I fight! 498 01:07:00,780 --> 01:07:02,710 Really? Try me, then. 499 01:07:06,550 --> 01:07:08,710 Is he okay? 500 01:07:14,490 --> 01:07:17,050 So you say you can fight? 501 01:07:18,460 --> 01:07:19,450 Harder! 502 01:07:20,330 --> 01:07:21,320 Harder! 503 01:07:24,570 --> 01:07:25,900 Harder! 504 01:07:28,810 --> 01:07:32,300 You hit like that and call yourself a gangster? 505 01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:38,580 A foreign gun! 506 01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:09,580 In the world of kung fu, speed defines the winner. 507 01:08:13,680 --> 01:08:16,590 The Beast is the best of them all. 508 01:08:16,850 --> 01:08:20,520 The Axe Gang extends its respect! 509 01:09:02,300 --> 01:09:05,170 The real masters, together in one room! 510 01:09:06,270 --> 01:09:10,470 Only the world's top killer... 511 01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:12,840 ...has such an aura. 512 01:09:13,580 --> 01:09:14,810 Likewise. 513 01:09:15,410 --> 01:09:18,070 Could you two be the fated lovers...? 514 01:09:18,250 --> 01:09:19,240 Paris... 515 01:09:19,420 --> 01:09:20,510 ...and Helen of Troy! 516 01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:22,980 A pleasure, indeed. 517 01:09:23,250 --> 01:09:27,090 We're here to deal with the Axe Gang... 518 01:09:27,260 --> 01:09:28,990 ...and only the Axe Gang. 519 01:09:30,930 --> 01:09:33,760 You should've killed me before. 520 01:09:34,100 --> 01:09:38,540 Now you're committing suicide. 521 01:09:38,700 --> 01:09:42,040 You're living on borrowed time. 522 01:09:42,210 --> 01:09:45,200 You can't escape your fate! 523 01:09:45,940 --> 01:09:48,280 What's this? A funeral bell? 524 01:09:49,110 --> 01:09:52,450 With the Beast here, let's see whose funeral it is! 525 01:09:53,280 --> 01:09:55,010 So you're on their side? 526 01:09:55,190 --> 01:09:57,350 Don't get me wrong. 527 01:09:57,520 --> 01:10:01,120 I only want to kill you... 528 01:10:01,290 --> 01:10:04,190 ...or be killed by you. 529 01:10:06,700 --> 01:10:08,670 What do you think? 530 01:10:08,830 --> 01:10:14,170 The good cannot coexist with the bad. You can't escape your destiny. 531 01:10:14,810 --> 01:10:18,140 So be it. Let's do it. 532 01:10:19,140 --> 01:10:20,300 Okay. 533 01:10:21,850 --> 01:10:22,870 Let's do it! 534 01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:45,400 Piece of cake. I can handle this. 535 01:10:54,850 --> 01:10:57,710 Good try, but a little off target. 536 01:12:17,490 --> 01:12:19,160 The Lion's Roar? 537 01:15:00,020 --> 01:15:01,250 Wait! 538 01:15:02,430 --> 01:15:07,260 I didn't know the Lion's Roar could be done with a speaker! 539 01:15:07,430 --> 01:15:09,760 What a blow! 540 01:15:39,060 --> 01:15:42,400 - Looks like they're not up to it! - Let's get them while they're down. 541 01:15:42,570 --> 01:15:43,560 You do it! 542 01:15:43,730 --> 01:15:46,730 - I'm gonna puke! I need to see a doctor! - Go to hell! 543 01:15:51,170 --> 01:15:52,970 You! Come over here. 544 01:15:53,980 --> 01:15:56,140 - Hit him! - Yes! 545 01:16:00,580 --> 01:16:02,480 - The head! - Of course! 546 01:16:02,650 --> 01:16:04,380 - Hit him on the head! - Okay. 547 01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,350 - Here's your chance. - Got it! 548 01:16:06,520 --> 01:16:07,650 - Hit him! - Hit him! 549 01:16:07,820 --> 01:16:09,310 - Hit the shit out of him! - Right! 550 01:16:09,490 --> 01:16:10,760 - Hit him! - Hit him! 551 01:16:10,930 --> 01:16:12,690 Beat the shit out of him! 552 01:16:14,770 --> 01:16:15,750 What're you doing? 553 01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:19,440 You want me to hit him or beat the shit out of him? 554 01:16:19,600 --> 01:16:21,540 You're making me very confused! 555 01:16:49,870 --> 01:16:52,860 Wow, that's a big fist! 556 01:17:25,440 --> 01:17:26,830 Why did you hit me? 557 01:17:55,770 --> 01:17:59,100 Where are they? 558 01:17:59,440 --> 01:18:01,600 How could you let them escape? 559 01:18:07,710 --> 01:18:11,700 No one gets away from me! 560 01:18:25,360 --> 01:18:27,560 Why did he save us? 561 01:18:27,730 --> 01:18:30,830 Young people make mistakes. 562 01:18:31,170 --> 01:18:34,930 But at least he finally made good. 563 01:18:35,510 --> 01:18:39,200 Look at him! Beaten to a pulp. 564 01:18:41,950 --> 01:18:45,240 Do you have any last requests? 565 01:19:04,530 --> 01:19:07,440 Hey, wait! 566 01:19:07,800 --> 01:19:11,640 Why don't you write in Chinese? I don't understand. 567 01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:10,020 There's no one here! 568 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:17,430 CHINESE MEDICINE 569 01:20:31,120 --> 01:20:34,110 It's a miracle he lasted this long. 570 01:20:34,790 --> 01:20:37,060 The herbs should help him. 571 01:20:37,290 --> 01:20:41,700 Herbal medicine can only partly help. The key is his own body structure. 572 01:20:41,870 --> 01:20:46,200 All his bones and tendons are broken. 573 01:20:46,370 --> 01:20:49,300 It's amazing he's recovering so fast. 574 01:20:49,810 --> 01:20:51,970 It can't be possible... 575 01:20:52,140 --> 01:20:53,700 Unless he's... 576 01:21:31,050 --> 01:21:32,570 What's that smell? 577 01:22:06,580 --> 01:22:08,570 You mustn't smoke while you're hurt. 578 01:22:10,050 --> 01:22:11,540 Let me handle this. 579 01:22:26,340 --> 01:22:27,800 This makes no sense. 580 01:22:39,450 --> 01:22:43,510 Who knew the Beast could clear the chi flow... 581 01:22:43,690 --> 01:22:46,250 ...and thus unleash the boy's true potential? 582 01:22:46,460 --> 01:22:49,360 We should've guessed. 583 01:22:50,590 --> 01:22:53,990 He is the one! 584 01:23:04,440 --> 01:23:06,380 Is this for real? 585 01:23:06,540 --> 01:23:09,100 You're still alive, you turncoat? 586 01:23:09,280 --> 01:23:11,680 Kill him, men! 587 01:24:06,540 --> 01:24:08,000 What kind of move is that? 588 01:24:08,340 --> 01:24:10,860 Kids' stuff! 589 01:24:38,770 --> 01:24:42,360 If our son were alive, he'd be his age now. 590 01:24:42,540 --> 01:24:47,880 If he studies hard, he could grow up to be a doctor or lawyer. 591 01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:50,880 A stuntman, more likely! 592 01:25:54,040 --> 01:25:55,600 Not bad. Let's go. 593 01:26:38,660 --> 01:26:40,710 I can even stop bullets... 594 01:27:51,090 --> 01:27:54,460 What? The Toad Style of the Kwan Lun School? 595 01:27:54,630 --> 01:27:55,830 Oh, no! 596 01:29:51,410 --> 01:29:55,350 Remember the Palm move that falls from heaven? 597 01:29:55,520 --> 01:29:58,680 That's the long lost Buddhist Palm. 598 01:30:43,000 --> 01:30:44,330 I surrender! 599 01:31:45,860 --> 01:31:47,300 What kind of move was that? 600 01:31:49,070 --> 01:31:51,230 If you want to learn, I'll teach you. 601 01:32:02,980 --> 01:32:04,310 Master! 602 01:33:18,150 --> 01:33:21,990 Hey! Tell him not to put snot on the glass. 603 01:33:22,160 --> 01:33:24,750 You two, put your pants on! 604 01:33:24,930 --> 01:33:27,590 No licking if you're not buying! 605 01:34:33,960 --> 01:34:38,560 Kid, you have the bone structure of a kung-fu genius. 606 01:34:38,730 --> 01:34:42,530 World peace is in your hands. Here's the scroll of the Buddhist Palm. 607 01:34:42,710 --> 01:34:45,300 Because it's fate, I'll let you have it for $ 10. 608 01:34:45,470 --> 01:34:46,530 Wait! 609 01:34:46,980 --> 01:34:49,380 You want more...?