1
00:00:32,981 --> 00:00:32,981


2
00:00:32,981 --> 00:00:36,551
   [ People chattering ]

3
00:00:36,584 --> 00:00:37,318
   [ Girl ]
   Merry christmas!

4
00:00:37,351 --> 00:00:39,220
 [ Woman #1 ]
 Oh, happy holidays!

5
00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:42,155
 [ Woman #2 ]
 Happy holidays!

6
00:00:45,692 --> 00:00:47,460
 [ Man ]
 Happy hanukkah.

7
00:00:49,996 --> 00:00:52,597
   [ Chattering continues ]

8
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:57,535
   [ Woman #3 ]
   Happy christmas to you too!

9
00:00:59,203 --> 00:01:01,706
   Hurry, gladys.

10
00:00:59,203 --> 00:01:01,706
 I'm coming.

11
00:01:01,738 --> 00:01:03,073
   Wow!
   Cool trains.

12
00:01:01,738 --> 00:01:03,073
   [ Whistle tooting ]

13
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:04,641
   Mm-hmm!

14
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,509
  [ Blows nose ]

15
00:01:07,543 --> 00:01:10,546
   Excuse me!
   [ Grunting, gasping ]

16
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,281
   [ Yelling ]

17
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,281
   [ Crash ]

18
00:01:13,313 --> 00:01:15,250
  [ Woman ]
  Are you are all right?

19
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,519
   Hey!
   Close the lid!

20
00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:17,519
 What are you doin'?

21
00:01:17,552 --> 00:01:19,219
   You're lettin'
   the heat out!

22
00:01:19,251 --> 00:01:21,655
   You're draggin' it.

23
00:01:19,251 --> 00:01:21,655
   I got it.

24
00:01:21,688 --> 00:01:24,524
   You're draggin' it!

25
00:01:21,688 --> 00:01:24,524
   I got it!

26
00:01:24,557 --> 00:01:26,259
   Whoa! Hyah!

27
00:01:24,557 --> 00:01:26,259
   [ Quacking ]

28
00:01:27,793 --> 00:01:29,728
   [ Laughing ]

29
00:01:33,263 --> 00:01:34,731
   [ Chuckling ]

30
00:01:33,263 --> 00:01:34,731
   [ Kissing ]

31
00:01:36,099 --> 00:01:37,768
   [ Chuckling ]

32
00:01:37,801 --> 00:01:40,570
  ♪Deck The Halls
  With boughs of holly ♪

33
00:01:40,602 --> 00:01:43,605
   ♪Fa-la-la-la-la
   La-la-la-la ♪

34
00:01:43,638 --> 00:01:46,574
   ♪'Tis The Season
   To be jolly ♪

35
00:01:43,638 --> 00:01:46,574
   Hi, guys! How are you?

36
00:01:46,608 --> 00:01:48,243
   Merry christmas to you!

37
00:01:46,608 --> 00:01:48,243
   [ Bell ringing ]

38
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,976
 Merry christmas
 to ya!

39
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,846
   [ Shouting, chattering ]

40
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,649
   Ho-ho-ho-ho!

41
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:57,284
   Why, if I live to be 102,

42
00:01:57,316 --> 00:02:01,719
  I'll never forget the year
  that the muppets
  almost missed christmas.

43
00:02:01,753 --> 00:02:04,290
   An icy storm blew in,
   and I--

44
00:02:04,322 --> 00:02:07,691
 hey, buddy. What are you doin'?
 We're tryin' to make
 a movie over here.

45
00:02:07,724 --> 00:02:10,593
  Why, I'm joe snow,
  your affable,
  good-natured narrator.

46
00:02:10,627 --> 00:02:13,129
   [ Chuckling ]

47
00:02:10,627 --> 00:02:13,129
   Snowman narrator?

48
00:02:13,163 --> 00:02:15,265
   We don't have
   no snowman narrator.

49
00:02:15,298 --> 00:02:18,668
   Now get out of the shot,
   you burl ives wannabe.

50
00:02:15,298 --> 00:02:18,668
  What, no snowman narrator?

51
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:20,703
  Well, that's
  a big mistake.

52
00:02:20,735 --> 00:02:23,170
   I'm part of
   the whole holiday
   collective consciousness.

53
00:02:23,204 --> 00:02:26,807
I'll have my attorneys see you--
frog, slush and snow cohen.

54
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,710
   ♪ [ Piano ]

55
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,710
   ♪Hey, Jingle Bells ♪

56
00:02:29,742 --> 00:02:31,210
   ♪Jingle Bells ♪

57
00:02:29,742 --> 00:02:31,210
   Yeah!

58
00:02:31,243 --> 00:02:33,246
   ♪Jingle All The Way ♪

59
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,314
   ♪Oh, What Fun
   It is to ride ♪

60
00:02:35,348 --> 00:02:37,616
   ♪In A One-horse Open Sleigh ♪

61
00:02:37,649 --> 00:02:40,786
  ♪Hey, Jingle Bells
  Jingle bells ♪

62
00:02:37,649 --> 00:02:40,786
   [ Muttering ]

63
00:02:40,818 --> 00:02:42,686
   ♪Jingle All The Way ♪

64
00:02:40,818 --> 00:02:42,686
[ Laughing ]
Yeah!

65
00:02:42,719 --> 00:02:44,322
 ♪ [ Continues ]

66
00:02:42,719 --> 00:02:44,322
   ♪ [ Humming ]

67
00:02:44,354 --> 00:02:47,290
   Gonzo, I sold my collection
   of rare cheese...

68
00:02:47,324 --> 00:02:50,193
   To buy you
   this crystal petri dish
   for your mold collection.

69
00:02:50,225 --> 00:02:51,828
   Oh.

70
00:02:51,860 --> 00:02:54,162
Um, gee, rizzo,
I sold my mold collection...

71
00:02:54,195 --> 00:02:56,831
 To buy you this
 diamond-tipped
 cheese slicer.

72
00:02:56,865 --> 00:02:59,300
   Did you save the receipt?

73
00:02:59,332 --> 00:03:01,836
   ♪And A-making Spirits
   Bright ♪

74
00:02:59,332 --> 00:03:01,836
   Yeah! Ha-ha!

75
00:03:01,868 --> 00:03:04,236
  ♪What Fun It Is
  To ride and sing ♪

76
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:05,438
   [ Squeaks ]

77
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:05,438
   ♪A Sleighing Song
   Tonight ♪

78
00:03:05,471 --> 00:03:08,342
 Beakie, you sold
 your periodic table
 of the elements...

79
00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:09,875
   Autographed
   by stephen hawking...

80
00:03:09,907 --> 00:03:13,378
 To buy me this stand
 for my electron microscope?

81
00:03:13,412 --> 00:03:15,180
   Meep.

82
00:03:15,212 --> 00:03:17,816
   Oh, but I sold
   my electron microscope...

83
00:03:17,848 --> 00:03:21,150
   To buy you these rare
   mutagenic elements.

84
00:03:17,848 --> 00:03:21,150
   Oh! Oh!

85
00:03:21,183 --> 00:03:22,885
  But don't open it.

86
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,689
Ohh!

87
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,689
   [ Whimpering ]

88
00:03:26,822 --> 00:03:29,258
   [ Gasps echoing ]

89
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,725
   ♪A Sleighing Song
   Tonight ♪

90
00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:33,894
   ♪Oh, Jingle Bells
   Jingle bells ♪

91
00:03:33,927 --> 00:03:36,129
   ♪Jingle All The Way ♪

92
00:03:36,163 --> 00:03:39,133
   Johnny, my best friend
   in the whole wide world,

93
00:03:39,165 --> 00:03:44,169
  I sold my moped to buy you
  this solid gold record player.

94
00:03:44,203 --> 00:03:45,871
  Well, thanks, sal.

95
00:03:45,903 --> 00:03:47,840
   ♪Oh, What Fun
   It is to ride ♪

96
00:03:47,872 --> 00:03:50,008
 ♪In A One-horse
 Open sleigh ♪

97
00:03:50,042 --> 00:03:52,242
   Big jerk.

98
00:03:50,042 --> 00:03:52,242
   ♪ [ Scatting ]

99
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:59,316
  Hey, there he is.
  Hey, come on,
  sing a song with me, baby.

100
00:03:59,348 --> 00:04:01,050
   I don't feel like
   singing right now.

101
00:03:59,348 --> 00:04:01,050
   What?

102
00:04:01,084 --> 00:04:06,222
Yeah, he doesn't feel like
singing with you. Right, kermit,
my new best friend in the world?

103
00:04:06,254 --> 00:04:08,789
  Oh, kermie. Mistletoe.

104
00:04:06,254 --> 00:04:08,789
   Here we go, rowlf.
   ♪Sleighing Song Tonight ♪

105
00:04:08,823 --> 00:04:11,026
 Leave me alone.

106
00:04:08,823 --> 00:04:11,026
   Oh!

107
00:04:11,058 --> 00:04:13,760
   Where's
   your holiday spirit?

108
00:04:11,058 --> 00:04:13,760
   Piggy.

109
00:04:13,794 --> 00:04:15,862
   Just one christmas kiss,
   hmm?

110
00:04:15,895 --> 00:04:18,865
Piggy!
Would you please
leave me alone!

111
00:04:18,898 --> 00:04:20,433
   [ Gasps ]

112
00:04:18,898 --> 00:04:20,433
   ♪ [ Stops ]

113
00:04:20,466 --> 00:04:22,401
   [ Grunting ]

114
00:04:20,466 --> 00:04:22,401
   Well--

115
00:04:24,869 --> 00:04:27,705
   kermit, what's wrong?

116
00:04:27,737 --> 00:04:30,641
  Yeah, your gloomy behavior
  would make us wonder
  if something bad has happened.

117
00:04:31,742 --> 00:04:33,977
[ Gulps ]
We-- we lost everything.

118
00:04:34,009 --> 00:04:36,846
   - huh?
   - wow, you're good.

119
00:04:36,879 --> 00:04:38,814
   I didn't know
   you could read people
   like that.

120
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:42,817
 It's a gift.
 Like my gold record player.

121
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:46,387
  I'm sorry I convinced
  you all to work so hard
  and believe in this dream.

122
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,689
 It was all for nothing.

123
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:51,391
   - [ All groaning ]
   - we lost the money.
   We lost the theater.

124
00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:53,426
  We've lost everything.

125
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,294
   But it'll work out all right,
   right, uncle kermit?

126
00:04:56,327 --> 00:05:00,064
   I mean,
   we'll just all pull together
   and everything'll be okay.

127
00:05:00,098 --> 00:05:01,466
   Right?

128
00:05:00,098 --> 00:05:01,466
   Yeah!

129
00:05:01,499 --> 00:05:03,334
   Yeah.

130
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:06,437
  Not this time.

131
00:05:03,367 --> 00:05:06,437
   [ Sighs ]

132
00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:17,446
   Everybody!
   ♪Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ♪

133
00:05:17,478 --> 00:05:18,879
   [ All grumbling ]

134
00:05:18,913 --> 00:05:21,049
   [ Sighs ]

135
00:05:22,149 --> 00:05:25,452
   Kermit!
   Help me, I'm stuck!

136
00:05:25,485 --> 00:05:26,885
   I can't help you.

137
00:05:26,918 --> 00:05:29,088
I'll ruin your life.

138
00:05:29,122 --> 00:05:31,857
   [ Sighs ]

139
00:05:29,122 --> 00:05:31,857
   [ Groans ]

140
00:05:36,793 --> 00:05:39,096
   [ Sighs ]
   Hmm.

141
00:05:52,007 --> 00:05:55,076
   Mmm.

142
00:05:55,108 --> 00:05:57,178
   [ Shivering ]

143
00:06:14,158 --> 00:06:16,160
   How could this happen?

144
00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:19,428
   Someone
   has got to do something!

145
00:06:19,461 --> 00:06:21,096
   Oh, dear.

146
00:06:21,129 --> 00:06:23,865
   ♪ [ Whistling ]

147
00:06:21,129 --> 00:06:23,865
   Oh, glenn, hi.

148
00:06:23,899 --> 00:06:29,170
  Um, kermit the frog
  has got a real "problemo."

149
00:06:29,202 --> 00:06:31,805
  So, you're gonna wanna
  send someone down there...

150
00:06:31,838 --> 00:06:34,908
  So they can, um, dish out
  a little yuletide justice.

151
00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:37,009
   Oh, sorry, dan, no can do.

152
00:06:37,043 --> 00:06:39,012
 Daniel.
 I- I prefer daniel.

153
00:06:39,045 --> 00:06:40,879
 Uh, this is a major crisis.

154
00:06:40,913 --> 00:06:42,782
   Dan. Danny.

155
00:06:42,814 --> 00:06:44,016
   Daniel.

156
00:06:44,048 --> 00:06:45,783
   We have strict guidelines...

157
00:06:45,817 --> 00:06:48,485
   That define what is
   and isn't an emergency.

158
00:06:48,519 --> 00:06:52,489
 I can't just dispatch a field
 agent without a thorough review
 from the subcommittee.

159
00:06:52,521 --> 00:06:54,223
   Come on.

160
00:06:54,257 --> 00:06:56,793
   You know that.
   [ Laughs ]

161
00:06:56,826 --> 00:06:59,562
    Listen,
   <i> feliz navidad, amigo.</i>

162
00:06:59,595 --> 00:07:01,062
   Huh?

163
00:07:01,095 --> 00:07:03,131
   ♪ [ Whistling ]

164
00:07:03,163 --> 00:07:04,899
   [ Daniel ]
   Fine.

165
00:07:04,932 --> 00:07:09,269
If you're not gonna do your job,
well, I'm gonna do it for you.

166
00:07:09,302 --> 00:07:12,204
I'm taking kermit's case
t-to the boss.

167
00:07:12,237 --> 00:07:14,908
   No, you're not.

168
00:07:16,007 --> 00:07:18,109
   Whoa.
   H-hey.

169
00:07:18,142 --> 00:07:23,146
 Right, you're just gonna
 walk into the boss's office
 without an appointment.

170
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:26,050
 That's the kind of attitude
 that's gonna keep you
 in a cubicle, mister.

171
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:27,850
   I don't care.

172
00:07:29,319 --> 00:07:32,888
   Kermit deserves justice.

173
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,990
   - he's goin' for it!
   - no, he's not.

174
00:07:35,023 --> 00:07:37,525
   He's gonna do it.
   I bet he's gonna do it.

175
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:39,259
   Troublemaker.

176
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:39,259
  [ All chattering ]

177
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,930
 [ Glenn ]
 What's next?
 We're all gonna wear color?

178
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:43,397
   Wait.
   Oh.

179
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,000
 He's not gonna.
 Nope. Nope.

180
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,100
   No.

181
00:07:49,134 --> 00:07:51,871
   It's called fronting off.
   The young folks
   told me about this.

182
00:07:55,072 --> 00:07:56,307
   He did it.

183
00:08:01,177 --> 00:08:04,848
   <i> ♪ [ Chorus Vocalizing ]</i>

184
00:08:18,658 --> 00:08:20,993
   Career suicide.

185
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:33,071
   [ Deep voice booming ]
   Who dares disturb my peace?

186
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:33,071
   [ Yelps ]

187
00:08:33,104 --> 00:08:34,439
   [ Echoes ]

188
00:08:38,008 --> 00:08:41,878
   [ Normal voice ]
   Don't you just love
   the big voice? It's so scary.

189
00:08:41,910 --> 00:08:43,912
   Aah!

190
00:08:45,147 --> 00:08:47,115
   [ Gasps ]

191
00:08:47,148 --> 00:08:48,649
   What, too big?

192
00:08:48,682 --> 00:08:50,284
   No.

193
00:08:50,317 --> 00:08:52,285
   A jurassic butterfly.

194
00:08:52,318 --> 00:08:54,921
  Whoa, that's cool.

195
00:08:54,955 --> 00:08:58,024
   You can really see the beauty
   of the compound bug eye.

196
00:08:58,057 --> 00:09:00,493
   I think it's too big.

197
00:09:00,525 --> 00:09:02,159
  Danny from accounting,
  right?

198
00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:04,129
   Uh, yeah.
   Dani-el.

199
00:09:04,162 --> 00:09:05,898
   Daniel.

200
00:09:05,931 --> 00:09:08,032
  "Danny-l."

201
00:09:08,065 --> 00:09:11,035
  Well, danny-l,
  do we have an appointment?

202
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,202
   No.

203
00:09:12,235 --> 00:09:15,337
   But this is an emergency.
   It's about kermit the frog.

204
00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:19,007
Listen, I don't worry about him.
He always does the right thing.

205
00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:22,244
 Yeah, well, I'm afraid that
 if you don't help him, he may
 never do the right thing again.

206
00:09:22,277 --> 00:09:25,580
   - what?
   - can you please just take a
   look at his case, your honor?

207
00:09:25,613 --> 00:09:28,582
   Uh, your excellency.

208
00:09:28,615 --> 00:09:29,850
   Your bossiness.

209
00:09:29,883 --> 00:09:33,920
 I really can't.
 I have this appointment
 with the archangels.

210
00:09:33,952 --> 00:09:37,622
 You know, we're talkin' about
 armageddon. We're tryin' to get
 streisand for the post party.

211
00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:39,657
   You don't know
   how much this means to me.

212
00:09:39,691 --> 00:09:41,493
   I will never ask
   for anything again.

213
00:09:41,525 --> 00:09:43,961
   [ Exhales ]
   All right, look.

214
00:09:43,995 --> 00:09:47,298
  If you can convince me
  that kermit needs my help,
  I'll send my best agent.

215
00:09:47,331 --> 00:09:49,599
   Oh, thank you so much.

216
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:52,601
But if you can't convince me
that kermit needs my help,

217
00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:57,605
  you'll have to transfer
  all of my albums to mp3 files.

218
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,975
  Well, you have, like,
  every album ever recorded.
  Ever.

219
00:10:02,009 --> 00:10:04,979
   Yeah.
   Plus imports.

220
00:10:05,011 --> 00:10:06,979
  So you better be right
  about kermit.

221
00:10:07,013 --> 00:10:08,581
   Have a seat.

222
00:10:08,614 --> 00:10:10,649
   What channel?

223
00:10:10,682 --> 00:10:13,652
   8-5-7-3-2-9-6,
   and then press pound.

224
00:10:13,684 --> 00:10:18,055
  Which one is pound? Is
  that the tic-tac-toe thing
  or the squiggly bug thing?

225
00:10:18,089 --> 00:10:19,557
   Tic-tac-toe.

226
00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:21,692
   Oh, you do it.

227
00:10:19,590 --> 00:10:21,692
   Oh.

228
00:10:22,725 --> 00:10:24,595
   Okay.

229
00:10:22,725 --> 00:10:24,595
   [ Beeping ]

230
00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:34,134
   Uh, I should probably
   rewind it a little.

231
00:10:34,168 --> 00:10:35,703
   Yeah.

232
00:10:36,671 --> 00:10:39,340
   <i> [ AUDIO: Rewinding ]</i>

233
00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:42,408
 <i> You know?</i>
 <i> And that's why I have</i>
 <i> this funny collar!</i>

234
00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:44,310
   That's a great story,
   kermit.

235
00:10:42,441 --> 00:10:44,310
 Aw, thanks.

236
00:10:44,342 --> 00:10:45,910
   You're funny.

237
00:10:44,342 --> 00:10:45,910
   Aw.

238
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:50,148
   Listen, kermit, I wanna talk
   about your big holiday show
   that's coming up.

239
00:10:50,181 --> 00:10:53,084
   - tell everybody about that.
   - yeah, yeah, well, listen,
   I'd be happy to.

240
00:10:53,116 --> 00:10:56,152
  It's going to be a lot of fun,
  and we could really
  use the support right now.

241
00:10:56,186 --> 00:10:58,187
   Listen, kermit,
   I love the muppets.

242
00:10:58,221 --> 00:11:00,590
   So I for one will be there
   front and center...

243
00:11:00,623 --> 00:11:02,425
   At your christmas eve
   performance,

244
00:11:02,457 --> 00:11:05,026
   and I urge everybody watching
   to come to the show too.

245
00:11:05,059 --> 00:11:08,229
   - thank you. That's great.
   - all right, ladies and
   gentlemen, kermit the frog.

246
00:11:08,263 --> 00:11:11,199
   Get your tickets now
   for the muppet christmas show
   starting christmas eve.

247
00:11:11,231 --> 00:11:12,933
   <i> Thank you, kermit.</i>

248
00:11:11,231 --> 00:11:12,933
<i> Thank you, carson.</i>

249
00:11:12,966 --> 00:11:17,103
 <i> Thank you! Thanks, everybody!</i>
 <i> See ya at the show!</i>

250
00:11:12,966 --> 00:11:17,103
 That went well, kermit.

251
00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:20,271
 All that free publicity
 should definitely
 sell a lot of tickets.

252
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,375
   I sure hope so.

253
00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:22,375
  Oh! I'd better
  go work on my act.

254
00:11:22,408 --> 00:11:24,375
  Oh, that's true.
  I've seen it, yes.

255
00:11:22,408 --> 00:11:24,375
   Oh, sure. Sure.

256
00:11:24,408 --> 00:11:26,244
 Ooh! Who is this
 little carson daly?

257
00:11:24,408 --> 00:11:26,244
   What?

258
00:11:26,277 --> 00:11:29,413
He is so now, he's so today.

259
00:11:26,277 --> 00:11:29,413
   [ Gonzo ]
   I know.

260
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:32,448
   - he's so cute!
   - excuse me, but who are you?

261
00:11:32,481 --> 00:11:35,784
 <i> Bonjour.</i>
 <i> Je m'appelle luc fromage.</i>

262
00:11:35,817 --> 00:11:38,487
   What?

263
00:11:35,817 --> 00:11:38,487
 But I am not stinky
 like the cheese.

264
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:41,155
   No, no, it-it's
   a different sort
   of smell.

265
00:11:41,188 --> 00:11:43,791
 While you were out doing
 all your promotional stuff,

266
00:11:41,188 --> 00:11:43,791
   yeah?

267
00:11:43,825 --> 00:11:46,127
I hired luc to help us
with the big musical number.

268
00:11:46,159 --> 00:11:48,129
   Oh. Hmm.

269
00:11:46,159 --> 00:11:48,129
  He worked
  with cirque du soleil.

270
00:11:48,162 --> 00:11:50,797
   Just a littl.
  <i> Un peu.</i>

271
00:11:48,162 --> 00:11:50,797
   And he speaks french.

272
00:11:50,830 --> 00:11:54,100
   I took your little
   "12 days of christmas"...

273
00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:55,502
   Yeah?

274
00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:55,502
   And I made them
   into this--

275
00:11:55,534 --> 00:11:58,370
this great--

276
00:11:55,534 --> 00:11:58,370
   vehicle.

277
00:11:58,403 --> 00:12:00,372
   Vehicle.

278
00:11:58,403 --> 00:12:00,372
   [ Imitates horn ]
   Whoo-whoo!

279
00:12:00,404 --> 00:12:02,472
Into the journey
of the soul.

280
00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:05,043
   But not this soul
   or this sole.

281
00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:05,043
   Well, no, no, no.

282
00:12:05,076 --> 00:12:08,245
 The deep place.
 The deep soul.

283
00:12:05,076 --> 00:12:08,245
   Very deep.

284
00:12:08,278 --> 00:12:10,813
   Well, I can't wait
   to see it.

285
00:12:10,846 --> 00:12:14,216
  "Cirque du so lame"?
  I don't think we want the word
  "lame" in the title.

286
00:12:14,249 --> 00:12:17,786
   It is not<i> lame.</i>
  <i> You</i> are lame. It is lamé.

287
00:12:17,818 --> 00:12:19,486
   Lamé?

288
00:12:17,818 --> 00:12:19,486
   Lamé, like
   the shiny fabric.

289
00:12:19,519 --> 00:12:22,122
 Yeah, oh, okay, okay, lamé.

290
00:12:22,155 --> 00:12:23,556
   Right.

291
00:12:22,155 --> 00:12:23,556
  Yeesh.

292
00:12:23,590 --> 00:12:26,293
  <i> Un, deux, trois!</i>

293
00:12:26,326 --> 00:12:29,228
   Let the magic begin!

294
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:31,396
   ♪ [ Orchestra ]

295
00:12:31,429 --> 00:12:34,165
   [ Whispers ]
   Yeah!

296
00:12:31,429 --> 00:12:34,165
 [ Gonzo ] yeah.

297
00:12:43,405 --> 00:12:46,575
   Ohhhhh, wah!

298
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:53,182
   ♪ [ Humming ]

299
00:12:54,115 --> 00:12:56,850
   Whoo! Whoo!

300
00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:59,286
   - whoo!
   - [ Groans ]

301
00:12:59,318 --> 00:13:01,320
   It speaks
   to your essence, no?

302
00:13:01,354 --> 00:13:03,123
   No!

303
00:13:03,155 --> 00:13:06,257
   You're gonna love
   the five golden rings.

304
00:13:03,155 --> 00:13:06,257
   The wh--

305
00:13:06,291 --> 00:13:08,794
   gonzo to scooter.
   Gonzo to scooter.
   Bring home the bacon, over.

306
00:13:08,826 --> 00:13:11,428
   10-4.
   Bacon down, bacon down.

307
00:13:11,461 --> 00:13:14,365
   - roger.
   Bacon down, bacon down.
   - would you hurry up?

308
00:13:14,398 --> 00:13:17,267
   - [ Grunting ]
   - don't make me Miss my cue.

309
00:13:17,299 --> 00:13:20,136
   The ham is jammed.
   Repeat. The ham is jammed.

310
00:13:20,169 --> 00:13:23,205
   - [ Grunting ]
   - [ Grunting ]

311
00:13:26,508 --> 00:13:29,244
   [ Yelling ]

312
00:13:29,277 --> 00:13:33,347
   - [ Screaming ]
   - [ Yelling continues ]

313
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,349
   Hang on!
   [ Yelling ]

314
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:41,286
   [ Fromage ]
   I love the chaos!

315
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,189
   - I love the chaos!
   - [ Groans ]

316
00:13:44,221 --> 00:13:45,857
   - I love the chaos!
   - [ Yelling continues ]

317
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:48,259
   Oh, my nose.

318
00:13:54,197 --> 00:13:56,466
   Oh!
   [ Sighs ]

319
00:13:56,499 --> 00:13:58,367
   ♪ [ Ends ]

320
00:13:58,399 --> 00:14:02,470
   Yes! Yes!
   Bravo! Bravo!

321
00:13:58,399 --> 00:14:02,470
   Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

322
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:04,506
   Luc,
   you're a genius!

323
00:14:02,503 --> 00:14:04,506
Oh! Yes!

324
00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:06,473
   Bravo!

325
00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:06,473
   Yes!

326
00:14:06,506 --> 00:14:08,708
   So, what do ya think,
   kermit?

327
00:14:08,741 --> 00:14:13,645
  Uh, eh-eh-eh-eh, well,
  it's-- it's not really
  what I was hoping for.

328
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:16,214
   What?
   Are you blind?

329
00:14:16,248 --> 00:14:19,651
   Are you blind
   in your little
   froggy eyes?

330
00:14:19,683 --> 00:14:23,355
W-well, look, luc,
I-i-i appreciate all
the work you've put in here.

331
00:14:23,388 --> 00:14:25,656
  It's just that
  our christmas show
  is days away...

332
00:14:25,688 --> 00:14:28,259
And, well, I don't even know
what this is.

333
00:14:28,292 --> 00:14:30,560
This is a metaphor
for the winter solstice.

334
00:14:30,592 --> 00:14:32,528
   The dark side
   of christmas!

335
00:14:32,562 --> 00:14:35,563
[ Groans ]
Pathos and the dark side
of christmas?

336
00:14:35,596 --> 00:14:39,333
   [ Gonzo ] it's a metaphor.

337
00:14:35,596 --> 00:14:39,333
  No, luc, w-we want our show to
  focus on the joy of christmas.

338
00:14:39,365 --> 00:14:41,302
   You would.
   You're a little frog.

339
00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:42,637
   [ Spits ]
   I quit!

340
00:14:42,669 --> 00:14:44,471
[ Stammers ]

341
00:14:45,638 --> 00:14:48,240
   Whoa.
   Now what?

342
00:14:48,274 --> 00:14:51,210
That was our big opening number.
What'll we replace it with?

343
00:14:51,243 --> 00:14:53,212
   I don't know,
   but we better come up
   with something quick.

344
00:14:53,245 --> 00:14:54,679
   [ Cackling ]

345
00:14:53,245 --> 00:14:54,679
   Oh! Geez!

346
00:14:54,712 --> 00:14:56,613
   I'll do
   my boomerang fish.

347
00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,716
   I throw them away,

348
00:14:58,749 --> 00:15:01,218
   and they come back to me.

349
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:02,785
   [ Boomerang slicing
   through air ]

350
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:04,921
   [ Both yell ]

351
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:04,921
   [ Laughing ]

352
00:15:04,955 --> 00:15:07,924
 Gee, lew, I don't know.
 It's kind of lacking
 in a christmas theme.

353
00:15:07,956 --> 00:15:10,826
   Okay. Rita! Murray!
   Where are you?

354
00:15:10,859 --> 00:15:12,627
  We got pizza here!

355
00:15:12,659 --> 00:15:15,230
Who wants pizza?

356
00:15:12,659 --> 00:15:15,230
   Pizza? Count me in.

357
00:15:15,263 --> 00:15:17,730
 Hey, johnny,
 check out rizzo's nose.

358
00:15:15,263 --> 00:15:17,730
   What's that?

359
00:15:17,764 --> 00:15:19,700
  It's so shiny,
  you could even say
  it glows.

360
00:15:19,732 --> 00:15:21,700
   [ All grumbling ]

361
00:15:19,732 --> 00:15:21,700
[ Laughing ]

362
00:15:21,734 --> 00:15:23,670
   Check this one out.
   Hey, nosetradamoose.

363
00:15:23,702 --> 00:15:25,837
  Can you predict the future
  with that thing?

364
00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:27,905
   Knock it off, will ya?
   I got feelings too, you know.

365
00:15:27,938 --> 00:15:31,275
  Yeah, just not
  in your nose.

366
00:15:27,938 --> 00:15:31,275
   [ Laughing ]

367
00:15:31,308 --> 00:15:34,344
   Let's see-- shiny nose,
   laughing and calling names.

368
00:15:34,378 --> 00:15:36,547
   I've got it!
   I've got it!

369
00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:40,216
   Meet the new star
   of the christmas show,
   frosty the snow rat!

370
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:44,687
   Uh, gee, gonzo, I thought
   you would have gone for
   rizzo the red-nosed rat deer.

371
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,555
   Oh, sure, if you wanna
   go for the obvious.

372
00:15:46,587 --> 00:15:49,690
   ♪ [ Scatting ]

373
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,695
   Ha-ha-ha!
   This business
   is in business, okay?

374
00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:56,963
   Oh, yeah?

375
00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:56,963
I got the health permit.

376
00:15:56,996 --> 00:15:59,664
  I got the fire permit,
  the permit to operate
  a topless nightclub.

377
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,733
   What? What?

378
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:01,733
 All the
 contracts--

379
00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:04,836
 - wait a minute. A permit for
 a topless nightclub?
 - better safe than sorry, okay?

380
00:16:04,869 --> 00:16:06,037
   Good point.

381
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:08,673
   So, "kermin,"
   I will need a ticket
   to Miami, okay?

382
00:16:08,706 --> 00:16:11,774
A-a ticket to Miami?
Why?

383
00:16:11,807 --> 00:16:14,811
   Ah, well, I have been invited
   to shake my bonbons...

384
00:16:14,844 --> 00:16:17,914
At ricky martin's
south beach christmas party,
okay?

385
00:16:17,947 --> 00:16:20,381
   [ Gonzo ] cool.

386
00:16:17,947 --> 00:16:20,381
   Ha-ha!
   ♪ [ Vocalizing ]

387
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:24,818
  Uh, well, I-- I don't know
  what to tell ya, pepe,
  but, um, we're flat broke.

388
00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:28,789
  [ Woman ]
  Oh, hello!

389
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,024
   Hello, "muffins"!

390
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,692
   [ Kermit ]
   Uh, hello?

391
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:32,692
   [ Gonzo ] hi.

392
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,394
    [ Pepe ]
   <i> Hola.</i>

393
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,394
   Hi!

394
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,962
 Rachel bitterman, new owner of
 bitterman bank and development.

395
00:16:37,995 --> 00:16:40,698
   Oh. Well, where's
   Mr. Bitterman?

396
00:16:41,731 --> 00:16:43,767
   - dead.
   - [ Gasps ]

397
00:16:43,801 --> 00:16:46,036
  Dead?
  O-oh, my goodness.
  I-i'm sorry.

398
00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:48,271
  Is there anything
  we can do for you?

399
00:16:48,304 --> 00:16:50,840
   Yes, as a matter of fact,
   there is.

400
00:16:50,874 --> 00:16:55,478
 You can pay me the considerable
 debt you owe me, in full,
 by midnight of the 24th,

401
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:57,511
 or vacate this theater.

402
00:16:57,544 --> 00:17:01,048
Uh, but-but-but the 24th
is christmas eve.

403
00:17:01,081 --> 00:17:02,950
   Yes.

404
00:17:02,982 --> 00:17:08,320
 It also happens to be
 the due date
 for payment on the theater.

405
00:17:08,354 --> 00:17:12,290
 It's funny how one day can mean
 so many different things.

406
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,860
   But-but we had a deal
   with Mr. Bitterman.

407
00:17:14,893 --> 00:17:18,461
 You see, he said we could
 extend the contract and pay him
 after the whole week of shows.

408
00:17:18,494 --> 00:17:19,963
   Oh. Yeah.

409
00:17:18,494 --> 00:17:19,963
   That's right.
   Mm-hmm.

410
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:23,033
  Too bad you don't have
  anything in writing.

411
00:17:23,066 --> 00:17:25,835
   Contracts.
   What are ya gonna do?

412
00:17:25,867 --> 00:17:29,737
   But-but-but christmas eve--
   that only gives us time
   to do one show.

413
00:17:29,770 --> 00:17:31,874
 And how is that
 my problem?

414
00:17:31,906 --> 00:17:33,974
   Oh!
   It isn't.

415
00:17:34,008 --> 00:17:35,543
   Well,
   uh, m-ms. Bitterman,

416
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,045
   we've worked so hard.

417
00:17:37,077 --> 00:17:39,346
 Owning this theater
 is our dream.

418
00:17:40,512 --> 00:17:43,449
Working for a dream.

419
00:17:43,482 --> 00:17:45,518
   That's beautiful.

420
00:17:45,550 --> 00:17:47,752
  My employees
  work for a salary.

421
00:17:47,786 --> 00:17:48,921
   Salaries?

422
00:17:48,953 --> 00:17:50,855
   I-is this like monies?

423
00:17:50,887 --> 00:17:52,890
   Yes, pumpkin.

424
00:17:52,923 --> 00:17:55,491
   And if you ever feel like
   working for monies
   instead of stardust,

425
00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:57,894
   you just let me know.

426
00:17:57,928 --> 00:18:00,830
   Okay, so, if you need
   boxes for the move,

427
00:18:00,863 --> 00:18:03,865
you could check the back
of the liquor store.

428
00:18:03,898 --> 00:18:06,867
   Well, we're gonna
   get you that money.

429
00:18:03,898 --> 00:18:06,867
Yeah, when pigs fly.

430
00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:08,903
   [ Shrieking ]

431
00:18:06,901 --> 00:18:08,903
   Get the rope!
   Get the rope!

432
00:18:08,936 --> 00:18:11,638
 Whoa-whoa-whoa!
 [ Shouting ]

433
00:18:08,936 --> 00:18:11,638
[ Crashing ]

434
00:18:12,905 --> 00:18:14,908
   For the record,

435
00:18:14,942 --> 00:18:17,477
   I consider
   that flying pig...

436
00:18:17,509 --> 00:18:20,945
   To be a coincidence
   and not a sign from god.

437
00:18:20,979 --> 00:18:23,115
   Eh, ma'am? Ma'am?

438
00:18:23,147 --> 00:18:26,850
  I want to work for monies
  instead of stardust, okay?
  You said to let you know.

439
00:18:26,884 --> 00:18:30,054
   Oh.

440
00:18:26,884 --> 00:18:30,054
   But what
   about our dream, pepe?

441
00:18:30,086 --> 00:18:35,058
   "Kermin," I must think of
  ricky martin and<i> his</i> dream
   to salsa with pepe.

442
00:18:36,459 --> 00:18:38,394
   And she's<i> hot.</i>

443
00:18:38,426 --> 00:18:40,128
   [ Bitterman ]
   Welcome...

444
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,063
   To bitterman bank
   and development.

445
00:18:42,096 --> 00:18:43,431
   <i> Gracias.</i>

446
00:18:43,463 --> 00:18:45,399
   Starbucks run?

447
00:18:43,463 --> 00:18:45,399
   <i> Sí, sí.</i>

448
00:18:45,432 --> 00:18:48,035
  Do you know, I like my coffee
  like I like my women. A latte!

449
00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:49,569
   Oh! Oh!
   [ Laughing ]

450
00:18:49,603 --> 00:18:51,505
   Hmm.

451
00:18:51,538 --> 00:18:53,640
   [ Pepe ]
   Do you know, I was talking
   to my fabulous--

452
00:18:56,474 --> 00:18:58,443
   <i> [ Sighs ]</i>

453
00:19:00,577 --> 00:19:02,480
   Wow.

454
00:19:02,513 --> 00:19:04,981
   See what I'm
   talking about?

455
00:19:02,513 --> 00:19:04,981
   Yeah.

456
00:19:05,015 --> 00:19:07,485
  Cup of joe sounds good
  right about now.

457
00:19:07,518 --> 00:19:10,386
   How do you have coffee
   in a bush?

458
00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:12,889
   Shrub.
   It's a shrub.

459
00:19:12,922 --> 00:19:16,959
When you write the laws
of the universe, you know
where all the loopholes are.

460
00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:19,493
   Hence, I created
   a coffee shrub.

461
00:19:21,429 --> 00:19:23,631
   Anyway--
   [ Scoffs ]

462
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:27,166
 I can't believe
 what bitterman did.
 It's-- it's so immoral.

463
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,969
   It's just--
   it's unfair.

464
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:33,038
  It's immoral, it's unfair.
  Why do you care about
  kermit's credit problems?

465
00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:35,506
   Just, please, keep watching.

466
00:19:35,539 --> 00:19:37,541
 I-i promise
 you'll want to help kermit.

467
00:19:39,076 --> 00:19:42,046
 All right,
 I'll keep watching.

468
00:19:45,147 --> 00:19:47,115
 You're just lucky spongebob
 isn't on right now.

469
00:19:47,148 --> 00:19:50,118
   I love spongebob.

470
00:19:47,148 --> 00:19:50,118
   Do I care?

471
00:19:50,152 --> 00:19:53,054
  <i> Christmas is ruined.</i>

472
00:19:53,086 --> 00:19:57,090
  <i> What are we going to do?</i>
  <i> It would take a miracle</i>
  <i> to save the theater!</i>

473
00:19:57,124 --> 00:19:59,794
   ♪ [ Harp ]

474
00:19:57,124 --> 00:19:59,794
   Huh?
   Huh?

475
00:19:59,826 --> 00:20:04,431
   Oops, sorry.
   Like, I was totally
   just tuning up my harp.

476
00:20:04,463 --> 00:20:10,469
Well, you know-- you know, guys,
l-let's not assume the worst.
I-i mean, maybe we'll be okay.

477
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:11,802
   [ Sighs ]

478
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:13,770
   [ Beaker ]
   Mee-mee-mee-mee-mee.

479
00:20:13,804 --> 00:20:15,406
   Excuse me.
   Dr. Honeydew?

480
00:20:13,804 --> 00:20:15,406
   Oh, yes?

481
00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:19,609
Could you figure out a way to
raise enough money with one show
to pay ms. Bitterman?

482
00:20:19,642 --> 00:20:23,144
Let's work it out.
Beaker, would you boot up
the old window operating system?

483
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,581
   Mee-mo.

484
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,581
Ooh! Mm-hmm.

485
00:20:26,714 --> 00:20:28,081
   Aha.

486
00:20:28,115 --> 00:20:30,684
   Now, if we let "x"...

487
00:20:30,718 --> 00:20:34,221
   Equal the value
   of our debt...

488
00:20:34,253 --> 00:20:38,156
   And "y" the value
   of seating capacity,

489
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:40,493
   it appears
   maximum attendance...

490
00:20:40,526 --> 00:20:45,096
   Will result in "y"
   Being greater than "x."

491
00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:47,499
   Mmm? Uh--

492
00:20:47,531 --> 00:20:49,799
   oh. Oh.
   Yes, beaker?

493
00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,503
   Mee-mee-mo-mo-mee-mee-mind.

494
00:20:52,536 --> 00:20:55,071
   Yes, I think you have
   a beautiful mind too.

495
00:20:55,104 --> 00:20:57,105
   [ Shrieking ]

496
00:20:57,138 --> 00:20:59,507
  So we'll have enough money
  to pay off bitterman
  bank and development?

497
00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:02,877
   Yes. Wait. No.
   Uh, yes-- no!

498
00:21:02,911 --> 00:21:05,645
   - beakie, do you have
   my wax pencil?
   - [ Shrieking continues ]

499
00:21:05,679 --> 00:21:06,881
Oh, there it is.

500
00:21:06,913 --> 00:21:11,084
 Uh, yes, as long as
 we add 1,900 seats.

501
00:21:11,116 --> 00:21:12,685
  But-but-but that's
  impossible.

502
00:21:12,719 --> 00:21:14,688
  Or we don't pay anyone
  till new year's.

503
00:21:14,721 --> 00:21:16,888
   - well, th-that's not so bad.
   - of next year.

504
00:21:18,723 --> 00:21:19,658
[ Dr. Honeydew ]
Beakie?

505
00:21:19,692 --> 00:21:23,260
   What it boils down to,
   everybody is, uh,

506
00:21:23,294 --> 00:21:25,562
   we sort of
   have to defer our wages.

507
00:21:25,595 --> 00:21:27,197
   - huh?
   - [ Gasps ]

508
00:21:27,230 --> 00:21:29,599
   For a period
   of, um, about a year.

509
00:21:29,633 --> 00:21:30,732
   [ All gasping ]

510
00:21:29,633 --> 00:21:30,732
   What?

511
00:21:30,766 --> 00:21:32,101
   [ Gibberish ]

512
00:21:32,134 --> 00:21:33,736
   How will I afford
   my propecia?

513
00:21:33,769 --> 00:21:35,872
[ Scooter ]
That's not a toupee?

514
00:21:35,904 --> 00:21:39,206
 Look, everybody, I know
 it seems like we've already
 given everything we can, but...

515
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:43,576
If we don't give a little more,
we could lose the whole theater.

516
00:21:43,609 --> 00:21:45,144
   Our home.

517
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,146
So, what do you say?

518
00:21:47,179 --> 00:21:48,515
   [ Case thuds ]

519
00:21:49,214 --> 00:21:50,849
   - piggy?
   - oh.

520
00:21:50,883 --> 00:21:53,619
Wh-wh-where--
where are you going?

521
00:21:53,652 --> 00:21:56,654
   Oh, kermie, I would love to
   stay and work for free,

522
00:21:56,688 --> 00:21:59,657
   but a Hollywood doctor show
   needs a hip young star...

523
00:21:59,690 --> 00:22:01,959
   With her finger on the pulse
   of today's urban youth.

524
00:22:01,991 --> 00:22:05,861
   And, well, naturally,
   they called<i> moi.</i>

525
00:22:01,991 --> 00:22:05,861
   [ Groans ]

526
00:22:05,894 --> 00:22:07,629
   Typical.

527
00:22:07,663 --> 00:22:08,864
   I'm sorry.

528
00:22:07,663 --> 00:22:08,864
   Well--

529
00:22:08,896 --> 00:22:11,634
   all right, peeps,
   let's bounce!

530
00:22:11,666 --> 00:22:15,669
Piggy! Piggy, we need
a star for our show too!

531
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:18,704
   - piggy?
   - [ Murmuring ]

532
00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:20,673
   Okay, fine.

533
00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:22,709
  We'll just do our show
  without her.

534
00:22:22,741 --> 00:22:24,911
   - without her?
   - [ Mock swedish ]

535
00:22:24,943 --> 00:22:27,178
   [ All murmuring ]

536
00:22:27,211 --> 00:22:28,713
   [ Muppet ]
   Huh!

537
00:22:34,351 --> 00:22:37,187
   - I don't see how
   we can do without piggy.
   - I'm sorry, guys, it's--

538
00:22:37,220 --> 00:22:39,556
   well, I hate to be
   materialistic,

539
00:22:39,588 --> 00:22:43,225
   but, like, how are we
   supposed to have christmas
   without any money?

540
00:22:43,259 --> 00:22:45,227
   - yeah!
   - mee-mee-mee-mee-mee!

541
00:22:45,259 --> 00:22:47,962
   [ Mock swedish ]

542
00:22:47,996 --> 00:22:49,197
   The words on my coffee mug
   are right.

543
00:22:49,230 --> 00:22:53,634
 "It is hard to soar with eagles
 when you work with turkeys."

544
00:22:53,666 --> 00:22:55,334
   Turkeys?

545
00:22:53,666 --> 00:22:55,334
   Turkeys? What is that
   supposed to mean?

546
00:22:55,367 --> 00:22:59,038
   Guys! Guys!
   Look at us.

547
00:22:59,071 --> 00:23:04,175
  Fighting and being selfish
  when kermit has
  done so much for us.

548
00:23:04,209 --> 00:23:08,046
   We should be ashamed
   of ourselves.

549
00:23:08,078 --> 00:23:09,813
   [ Murmuring ]

550
00:23:08,078 --> 00:23:09,813
   Well--

551
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:15,818
fozzie's right.
Kermit, I defer my paycheck.

552
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:17,720
   - count me in.
   - thanks, scooter.

553
00:23:17,752 --> 00:23:19,821
   We're in!

554
00:23:17,752 --> 00:23:19,821
   Ya!

555
00:23:19,855 --> 00:23:21,722
   - I'm in.
   - I'm in too!

556
00:23:21,756 --> 00:23:23,625
   - I'm in.
   - I'm in.
   - [ Mock swedish ]

557
00:23:23,657 --> 00:23:26,093
   - I'm<i> really</i> in.
   - all right!

558
00:23:26,126 --> 00:23:29,229
   We'll show ms. Bitterman!
   When we pull together,
   we can do anything. Right?

559
00:23:29,261 --> 00:23:32,598
 - yeah!
 - [ All shouting in agreement ]

560
00:23:32,632 --> 00:23:35,268
   - even if we go broke
   doing it!
   - huh?

561
00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:37,234
   - uh-- uh, gonzo?
   - hmm?

562
00:23:37,268 --> 00:23:40,239
   You're not helping.

563
00:23:37,268 --> 00:23:40,239
   Oh. Sorry.

564
00:23:49,645 --> 00:23:52,315
 [ Pepe ]
 This little fishy
 went to the market,

565
00:23:52,347 --> 00:23:54,616
   and, uh,
   this little fishy
   needs a kiss.

566
00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:56,884
   [ Kiss ]

567
00:23:56,917 --> 00:24:00,153
And, uh, this little fishy
looks like my cousin manolo.

568
00:24:00,186 --> 00:24:02,756
   Look, pepe. I want you--

569
00:24:00,186 --> 00:24:02,756
   oh, I want you
   too, okay?

570
00:24:02,789 --> 00:24:05,725
   <i> Do not...</i> interrupt me.

571
00:24:05,759 --> 00:24:10,328
   I want you to tell me
   everything you know about the
   muppets' financial situation.

572
00:24:10,362 --> 00:24:13,231
  You tell me, bitter, baby.
  I give you all the papers
  right there, okay?

573
00:24:15,199 --> 00:24:17,335
   All the papers?

574
00:24:15,199 --> 00:24:17,335
   <i> Sí.</i>

575
00:24:17,367 --> 00:24:22,673
 You mean, this is the only copy
 of the contract between
 the muppets and bitterman bank?

576
00:24:22,705 --> 00:24:25,240
 <i> Sí.</i> i needed it to get
   all the permits, oka?

577
00:24:25,273 --> 00:24:27,676
   [ Groans ]
   Hey!

578
00:24:27,710 --> 00:24:29,245
   [ Grunting ]

579
00:24:29,278 --> 00:24:31,313
   Maybe you should go
   with the french tips.

580
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:32,913
   Forget the nails.

581
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:32,913
   [ Groans ]

582
00:24:32,946 --> 00:24:34,982
   Listen, pee-pee--

583
00:24:32,946 --> 00:24:34,982
   pepe.

584
00:24:35,016 --> 00:24:37,151
   Sorry.

585
00:24:37,183 --> 00:24:41,053
  Do they know you have
  the only copy of the contract?

586
00:24:41,086 --> 00:24:43,890
   Ah, well, I cannot answer
   this question...

587
00:24:43,923 --> 00:24:46,858
   Until we talk about
   my christmas bonus, okay?

588
00:24:48,393 --> 00:24:50,295
   I love your spirit.

589
00:24:48,393 --> 00:24:50,295
   Well--

590
00:24:50,327 --> 00:24:53,798
   listen to me,
   my little king prawn king.

591
00:24:53,830 --> 00:24:56,033
   You answer
   this question,

592
00:24:56,067 --> 00:24:59,403
   and I'll give you
   your christmas bonus.

593
00:24:59,435 --> 00:25:01,070
   [ Moans ]

594
00:25:01,104 --> 00:25:04,140
   Then tell me.
   [ Blows ]

595
00:25:04,173 --> 00:25:06,041
   Tell me.

596
00:25:04,173 --> 00:25:06,041
   [ Laughing ]

597
00:25:06,075 --> 00:25:07,942
   Tell me!

598
00:25:07,974 --> 00:25:09,943
 No, they don't know
 I have it, okay?

599
00:25:09,977 --> 00:25:12,312
 Peel me! I'm yours!

600
00:25:09,977 --> 00:25:12,312
   Yes!

601
00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:14,414
   File this!

602
00:25:14,448 --> 00:25:16,984
   [ Gasping, laughing ]

603
00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:20,119
   Rough<i> and</i> sexy, okay.
   [ Laughs ]

604
00:25:20,152 --> 00:25:24,355
But tell me, bitterbuns,
why are you so excited about
the muppet theater anyways?

605
00:25:24,388 --> 00:25:27,224
   Oh, for heaven sakes,
   it's not about the theater.

606
00:25:27,258 --> 00:25:33,230
   No, it's about real estate,
   it's about making money,
   not losing it.

607
00:25:33,261 --> 00:25:37,966
   It's about something
   like this.

608
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,234
   - I call it club dot.
   - [ Gasps ]

609
00:25:40,268 --> 00:25:42,371
   Ooh! Nice!

610
00:25:42,403 --> 00:25:44,939
   [ Cackling ]

611
00:25:44,971 --> 00:25:47,375
   [ Gasps ]
   Ooh, does it come
   with action figures?

612
00:25:47,407 --> 00:25:51,010
No, it doesn't come
with action figures.

613
00:25:51,044 --> 00:25:54,114
  It's a scale model
  of a trendy nightclub!

614
00:25:54,146 --> 00:25:56,248
   Oh, you're
   so brilliant.

615
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,884
   But, uh, how will the peoples
   fit inside? It's so tinies.

616
00:25:59,916 --> 00:26:02,186
   I mean,<i> really</i> tinies.

617
00:26:02,220 --> 00:26:04,055
   Come.
   I'll-- I'll show you.

618
00:26:04,087 --> 00:26:05,722
   Huh?

619
00:26:04,087 --> 00:26:05,722
  ♪Dee-dee-dee ♪

620
00:26:05,756 --> 00:26:07,423
   [ Groans ]

621
00:26:07,457 --> 00:26:10,993
  I think your club dot is going
  to need bigger doors, okay.

622
00:26:11,026 --> 00:26:14,230
  ♪A-la-la-la-la-la
  This is not what I
  taught you ♪

623
00:26:14,262 --> 00:26:16,097
  ♪And It's Really Bad ♪

624
00:26:14,262 --> 00:26:16,097
   [ Whooping ]

625
00:26:16,131 --> 00:26:19,301
   Stop it! Stop it!
   Stop it!

626
00:26:19,334 --> 00:26:22,169
   I don't know when I've seen
   dancing so... Wonderful.

627
00:26:22,201 --> 00:26:24,137
   Yeah?

628
00:26:22,201 --> 00:26:24,137
   [ Laughing ]

629
00:26:24,171 --> 00:26:26,306
  So, how's it going
  here, howard?

630
00:26:24,171 --> 00:26:26,306
   Oh, kermit!

631
00:26:26,338 --> 00:26:29,108
   Things could not-- mwah--
   be-- mwah-- better--

632
00:26:29,142 --> 00:26:31,009
   mwah-- period.

633
00:26:29,142 --> 00:26:31,009
   Mm-hmm.

634
00:26:31,042 --> 00:26:33,411
   Hey, is it possible
   to give 110%?

635
00:26:33,444 --> 00:26:35,748
   Because that's what I'm
   getting from these girls.

636
00:26:33,444 --> 00:26:35,748
Well, great.

637
00:26:35,780 --> 00:26:38,048
 Well, listen.
 Keep up the good work, huh?

638
00:26:38,082 --> 00:26:40,251
Okay, okay.
Love that tushy.

639
00:26:38,082 --> 00:26:40,251
   [ Giggles ]

640
00:26:40,284 --> 00:26:42,119
   [ Laughing ]

641
00:26:42,152 --> 00:26:45,055
  Okay, you clodhoppers.
  Let's go.

642
00:26:45,087 --> 00:26:48,057
Five, six, seven, eight.
♪La-la-- ♪

643
00:26:48,089 --> 00:26:51,226
   ♪Ra-rumph
   Rumph-ba-ba-bum
   rumph-ba-bum ♪

644
00:26:51,259 --> 00:26:53,228
   Drummer boy!

645
00:26:53,260 --> 00:26:56,431
 Ah. That was, uh--
 [ Clears throat ] loud.

646
00:26:56,463 --> 00:26:59,265
   Uh, everybody
   take five, huh?

647
00:26:59,298 --> 00:27:01,801
Gee, I don't know.
It seems like the show's
still missing something.

648
00:27:01,835 --> 00:27:05,505
  I know!
  I'll do my boomerang fish!

649
00:27:05,538 --> 00:27:08,272
  Thank you, lew.
  Thank you. Mm-hmm.
  No, thanks.

650
00:27:08,306 --> 00:27:10,808
   Sorry, gretchen.

651
00:27:08,306 --> 00:27:10,808
   Oh.

652
00:27:10,842 --> 00:27:13,145
   I don't know.
   What do you think, fozzie?
   What does the show need?

653
00:27:13,178 --> 00:27:15,513
Gosh, kermit.
Maybe what the show needs...

654
00:27:15,546 --> 00:27:18,282
  Is somebody who'll make people
  feel like they got
  their money's worth.

655
00:27:18,315 --> 00:27:21,116
   - mmm.
   - you know, somebody
   with star power.

656
00:27:21,150 --> 00:27:23,253
   Yeah?

657
00:27:21,150 --> 00:27:23,253
   I know, uncle kermit.

658
00:27:23,286 --> 00:27:25,287
   You should call
   your famous friends.

659
00:27:25,319 --> 00:27:29,124
You're right, robin.
To the star phone!

660
00:27:29,156 --> 00:27:32,793
   Right, right.
   Listen. We are all big fans.
   I watch you every morning.

661
00:27:32,826 --> 00:27:36,429
 We were wondering if you'd come
 out and star in our christmas
 show at the muppet theater.

662
00:27:36,461 --> 00:27:40,231
I don't know, kermit,
I was planning on spending
the holidays with my loved ones.

663
00:27:40,265 --> 00:27:42,000
   Well, good golly,
   Miss molly.

664
00:27:42,034 --> 00:27:46,204
  You are such a big star, it
  would be an honor if you would
  come out and be in our show.

665
00:27:46,237 --> 00:27:48,807
   Let me remind you
   about the last time
   I worked with a frog.

666
00:27:48,839 --> 00:27:51,140
   We fell madly in love.

667
00:27:51,173 --> 00:27:54,243
   So naturally,
   I have a key made
   to his apartment.

668
00:27:54,277 --> 00:27:58,280
  I break in and reorganize
  his closets while he's at work
  as a little favor.

669
00:27:58,314 --> 00:28:00,883
  And how am I rewarded
  for going to all this trouble?

670
00:28:00,914 --> 00:28:04,286
   The frog
   stops calling me!
   Remember that?

671
00:28:04,318 --> 00:28:06,820
   Hey there, madonna.
   Want a free muppet t-shirt?

672
00:28:06,854 --> 00:28:08,189
   Courtney, can you juggle?

673
00:28:08,221 --> 00:28:10,423
   Uh, thanks, Mr. Connery.

674
00:28:10,457 --> 00:28:12,826
   Uh, I understand,
   Mr. Schwarzenegger.

675
00:28:12,858 --> 00:28:14,159
   Hello, Mr. Rogers?

676
00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:15,461
   Hello, angelina?

677
00:28:15,493 --> 00:28:18,297
   Oh, hi there, britney.
   Hello, nicole?

678
00:28:18,329 --> 00:28:22,299
   Um, gee, I could sure do
   with a little star power
   around here, uh, triumph.

679
00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,168
   Um, is there any way
   you could help me out?

680
00:28:24,201 --> 00:28:26,903
Muppet movies
are always the best.

681
00:28:26,936 --> 00:28:30,539
   You mean that?

682
00:28:26,936 --> 00:28:30,539
  For me to poop on!
  [ Laughing ]

683
00:28:30,573 --> 00:28:34,310
   Right, right.
   You got me again.
   Uh, uh, bye-bye.

684
00:28:34,343 --> 00:28:37,879
   - hey, guys, he's comin'.
   - [ Chattering ]

685
00:28:37,912 --> 00:28:41,249
 Sorry, everybody.
 No luck finding a star.

686
00:28:37,912 --> 00:28:41,249
   [ Groaning ]

687
00:28:41,281 --> 00:28:44,384
  Oh, well.
  Sure you can't find anyone
  now, but just watch.

688
00:28:44,416 --> 00:28:46,319
   The day after christmas--

689
00:28:44,416 --> 00:28:46,319
hmm?

690
00:28:46,353 --> 00:28:48,587
   All these stars will
   be marked down 40%.

691
00:28:48,621 --> 00:28:50,857
  Yeah, but don't give up, guys.
  You know, may--

692
00:28:50,890 --> 00:28:52,892
   I'm sure someone
   will come through.

693
00:28:52,924 --> 00:28:55,159
  Someone like, um--

694
00:28:55,192 --> 00:28:58,430
   - oh, I don't know.
   Just somebody.
   - hmm? Hmm?

695
00:28:58,462 --> 00:28:59,896
   You know,
   somebody will, uh--

696
00:28:58,462 --> 00:28:59,896
   yeah?

697
00:28:59,930 --> 00:29:01,899
   Like, uh--

698
00:29:01,932 --> 00:29:05,235
  uh-- all right, all right.
  I'll go get her.

699
00:29:05,268 --> 00:29:07,569
   Yes!

700
00:29:05,268 --> 00:29:07,569
   All right!

701
00:29:07,603 --> 00:29:09,571
   Do we have a rhythm?

702
00:29:07,603 --> 00:29:09,571
 Can't find a pulse.

703
00:29:09,604 --> 00:29:11,574
   Quick, the paddles!

704
00:29:09,604 --> 00:29:11,574
   Let's go.

705
00:29:12,606 --> 00:29:14,242
   Clear!

706
00:29:15,276 --> 00:29:17,577
   [ Steady beep ]

707
00:29:17,611 --> 00:29:20,013
   Nothing.

708
00:29:17,611 --> 00:29:20,013
  All righty.
  Let's call it.

709
00:29:20,046 --> 00:29:24,584
   Time of death, 8:27 AM.

710
00:29:24,616 --> 00:29:27,485
   Oh. I-i think
   I'm feeling better.

711
00:29:27,519 --> 00:29:29,922
   The shocky things worked!
   I'm alive!

712
00:29:29,954 --> 00:29:31,655
No, you're dead.

713
00:29:29,954 --> 00:29:31,655
   No, I'm alive!

714
00:29:31,689 --> 00:29:34,259
No, you're dead!

715
00:29:31,689 --> 00:29:34,259
   I'm alive!

716
00:29:34,291 --> 00:29:36,359
   - it's a miracle.
   - cut. Cut!

717
00:29:36,393 --> 00:29:38,428
   -<i> [ buzzing ]</i>
   - what do you think
   you're doing?

718
00:29:38,461 --> 00:29:41,396
  - it's called acting, sweetie.
  - you're an extra.

719
00:29:41,430 --> 00:29:43,499
   You're supposed to be
   a dead body.

720
00:29:43,531 --> 00:29:47,468
  Look, I didn't quit
  the legitimate theater to play
  some lump under a dumb sheet.

721
00:29:47,501 --> 00:29:49,971
   I was thinking my character
   could start dating JD.,

722
00:29:50,003 --> 00:29:52,005
   then become a nurse
   with attitude.

723
00:29:52,038 --> 00:29:54,642
   You'd have to go.

724
00:29:52,038 --> 00:29:54,642
   Guess again,<i> puerca.</i>

725
00:29:54,674 --> 00:29:57,442
   Oh. All right.
   Uh-- oh, I know!

726
00:29:57,476 --> 00:29:59,979
   I'll be the cute janitor.

727
00:30:00,011 --> 00:30:03,948
  Yes, yes, the cute janitor
  who works her way up
  to head of hospital.

728
00:30:03,981 --> 00:30:07,351
   We just have to lose
   frankenstein over there.

729
00:30:07,384 --> 00:30:10,354
   - [ Growls ]
   - excuse me. Pardon me.

730
00:30:10,386 --> 00:30:14,124
   Kermie? Wha--

731
00:30:10,386 --> 00:30:14,124
   piggy, our show
   really needs you.

732
00:30:14,156 --> 00:30:17,126
   We really need a star.
   Would you please, please
   consider coming back?

733
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,361
   Oh, kermie.

734
00:30:19,394 --> 00:30:22,064
   I'm afraid
   I'm must see tv now.

735
00:30:22,096 --> 00:30:24,365
   <i> Scrubs</i> needs me.

736
00:30:24,397 --> 00:30:26,567
   Yeah. Miss piggy?

737
00:30:24,397 --> 00:30:26,567
   Yes, billy?

738
00:30:26,599 --> 00:30:28,567
   You're fired.

739
00:30:28,601 --> 00:30:31,038
   I'm sorry.
   What did he say?

740
00:30:28,601 --> 00:30:31,038
   I think he said you're fired.

741
00:30:31,070 --> 00:30:31,738
   - gone.
   - canned.

742
00:30:31,771 --> 00:30:33,539
   - shalom.
   - fired? Fired?

743
00:30:33,573 --> 00:30:35,608
   You wouldn't know talent
   if it hit you in the eye!

744
00:30:35,641 --> 00:30:37,509
   Uh-oh.

745
00:30:35,641 --> 00:30:37,509
   And it's about to too!

746
00:30:37,542 --> 00:30:39,443
 Okay, guys.
 I'll take it from here.

747
00:30:39,477 --> 00:30:42,413
 Sorry about that, Mr. Lawrence.
 Piggy, let's go, okay?

748
00:30:42,446 --> 00:30:46,449
   Fine. I quit! I'm a real
   theater actress anyhow,
   not some spoiled tv showoffs.

749
00:30:46,482 --> 00:30:48,418
Just a little boost,
guys.

750
00:30:46,482 --> 00:30:48,418
   Oh, you got it.

751
00:30:48,451 --> 00:30:50,420
  Thank you. Thanks.
  Thank you, guys.

752
00:30:50,452 --> 00:30:52,587
   Naturally, kermie,
   as your star, I have
   the following demands.

753
00:30:52,621 --> 00:30:54,724
   Yeah.

754
00:30:52,621 --> 00:30:54,724
A fresh fruit plate.
Nothing frozen.

755
00:30:54,757 --> 00:30:56,959
   [ Grunting ]

756
00:30:56,991 --> 00:30:58,460
   Ah, pepe.

757
00:30:58,492 --> 00:31:00,560
   My heart is hot...

758
00:31:00,594 --> 00:31:04,565
   Like a black car
   left in the sun
   on a summer's day.

759
00:31:04,597 --> 00:31:06,465
   I must have you now.

760
00:31:06,499 --> 00:31:07,968
   [ Gasps ]
   Oh, rachel.

761
00:31:08,999 --> 00:31:09,469
   Oh, pepe!

762
00:31:09,501 --> 00:31:12,471
   Oh, rachel.
   Oh, pepe!

763
00:31:12,503 --> 00:31:14,372
   Mmm.

764
00:31:12,503 --> 00:31:14,372
 [ Man ]
 So, rachel.

765
00:31:14,405 --> 00:31:16,673
  [ Rachel ]
  Call me ms. Bitterman.

766
00:31:14,405 --> 00:31:16,673
   Okay, ms. Bitterman.

767
00:31:16,707 --> 00:31:18,977
   - ms. Bitterman,
   I'm just not exactly clear--
   - [ Pepe ] huh?

768
00:31:19,009 --> 00:31:22,645
   Another mans?
   I will crush him
   like a plankton, okay.

769
00:31:22,679 --> 00:31:25,182
 So, um,
 what will you do...

770
00:31:25,214 --> 00:31:28,016
  If the muppets
  come up with the money
  before the deadline?

771
00:31:28,049 --> 00:31:30,586
   Come,
   my sweet potato brain.

772
00:31:30,618 --> 00:31:34,755
   The answer is here.

773
00:31:34,788 --> 00:31:38,157
   If the others are as stupid
   as that backstabbing shrimp,

774
00:31:38,191 --> 00:31:41,461
   they'll never notice that
   I've changed the contract...

775
00:31:41,494 --> 00:31:45,163
   From midnight to 6:00 PM.

776
00:31:45,196 --> 00:31:47,632
   [ Chuckling ]
   Right.

777
00:31:47,664 --> 00:31:51,168
   Changed the contract.
   I don't get it.

778
00:31:51,201 --> 00:31:55,038
  Look, the old contract,
  the deadline was midnight.

779
00:31:55,071 --> 00:31:58,174
   The new contract,
   the deadline is 6:00 PM.

780
00:31:58,207 --> 00:32:01,177
   At 6:01, I foreclose
   on the muppet theater,

781
00:32:01,210 --> 00:32:04,113
   gut it and put up
   a trendy nightclub...

782
00:32:04,145 --> 00:32:06,181
   Where I can sell
   overpriced drinks...

783
00:32:06,213 --> 00:32:09,517
   To pierced and tattooed
   rave monkeys.

784
00:32:09,549 --> 00:32:12,653
   [ Laughing ]
   Rave monkeys.

785
00:32:12,685 --> 00:32:16,155
   Come, einstein.
   Let's go decorate my tree.

786
00:32:16,189 --> 00:32:18,057
   Right.

787
00:32:18,090 --> 00:32:19,491
 Decorate your tree.

788
00:32:19,525 --> 00:32:21,227
   [ Groaning ]

789
00:32:21,259 --> 00:32:24,163
And tomorrow you can oil
that chair for me.

790
00:32:24,195 --> 00:32:26,663
   Right. Oil your chair.

791
00:32:26,696 --> 00:32:30,333
You know, not everything
is an innuendo.

792
00:32:31,768 --> 00:32:34,137
   Innuendo.

793
00:32:34,171 --> 00:32:37,206
   [ Grunts, panting ]

794
00:32:37,239 --> 00:32:39,241
   What have I done?

795
00:32:39,275 --> 00:32:41,610
   I must warn kermit.
   Mmm.

796
00:32:41,643 --> 00:32:44,145
    [ Grunts ]
   <i> Ay.</i>

797
00:32:44,179 --> 00:32:45,713
   [ Thuds ]

798
00:32:50,817 --> 00:32:53,019
   [ Chattering ]

799
00:32:55,788 --> 00:32:57,823
   - [ Statler ]
   Yeah. Okay. Here's your one.
   - the muppets?

800
00:32:57,855 --> 00:33:00,792
- uh-huh. Got it right here.
Yeah. Thanks.
- two tickets, please.

801
00:33:00,826 --> 00:33:04,127
   Get on in there.
   Okay, here ya go.

802
00:33:04,161 --> 00:33:05,663
 Mr. Kermit! Mr. Kermit!

803
00:33:05,695 --> 00:33:08,798
   Oh. Ooh!
   I have excellent news.

804
00:33:08,832 --> 00:33:11,835
   Oh, yeah?

805
00:33:08,832 --> 00:33:11,835
 We have sold enough tickets
 to cover our debt.

806
00:33:11,867 --> 00:33:14,269
   Oh, good!
   Hey, everybody,
   gather round!

807
00:33:14,303 --> 00:33:17,572
 Oh, boy. Uh, listen, everybody.
 Before we go out there,

808
00:33:17,605 --> 00:33:19,841
I just want to thank you all
for sticking together.

809
00:33:19,874 --> 00:33:22,343
   Because of all your
   hard work and dedication,

810
00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:24,577
 we've made enough money
 to save the theater!

811
00:33:24,611 --> 00:33:26,213
   [ Cheering ]

812
00:33:26,246 --> 00:33:29,649
 Let's go out there
 and have a great show, huh?

813
00:33:29,682 --> 00:33:32,751
   Nice work, guys.

814
00:33:29,682 --> 00:33:32,751
   And because
   I love you all...

815
00:33:32,785 --> 00:33:35,387
   Like cousins I no longer
   keep in touch with,

816
00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:39,757
   tonight I dedicate
   my performance to<i> vous.</i>

817
00:33:39,789 --> 00:33:41,791
   Give us a kiss
   for good luck, kermie.

818
00:33:41,825 --> 00:33:44,259
   Uh, well, I--

819
00:33:41,825 --> 00:33:44,259
   fifteen seconds
   to curtain, boss.

820
00:33:44,292 --> 00:33:46,762
  Got a show starting!
  I'll take a rain check, piggy.
  Thank you, scooter.

821
00:33:46,796 --> 00:33:48,398
   What?

822
00:33:46,796 --> 00:33:48,398
   Sure. Anytime.

823
00:33:48,431 --> 00:33:50,833
  Places, everybody!
  Places, places.

824
00:33:48,431 --> 00:33:50,833
   Scooter!

825
00:33:50,865 --> 00:33:53,868
   - where you headed, sister?
   - kermit, kermit!
   I must warn you, okay?

826
00:33:53,902 --> 00:33:57,705
   <i> Oh, dios mío.</i>

827
00:33:53,902 --> 00:33:57,705
   Gee, pepe, shouldn't you be
   in Florida with ricky martin?

828
00:33:57,738 --> 00:34:02,442
 No, no, no, no. Listen, because
 the words I'm about to say
 are very important, okay?

829
00:34:02,474 --> 00:34:04,743
Okay. I'm listening.

830
00:34:02,474 --> 00:34:04,743
   You listening?

831
00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:06,812
  I'm listening.

832
00:34:04,776 --> 00:34:06,812
   You are sure? Because
   this is very big, okay.

833
00:34:06,845 --> 00:34:09,347
Pepe, the show's
about to start!

834
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:11,348
   Left, right, left, right,
   left, right, left, right!

835
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:11,348
   Okay.

836
00:34:11,382 --> 00:34:13,818
   First of all,
   she cheats on me
   with another man.

837
00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:16,686
 Oh, good grief.

838
00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:16,686
   Okay. And then the dollhouse.
   You know the dollhouse?

839
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:18,855
   - yeah, yeah.
   - it's not a dollhouse!
   It's a nightclub!

840
00:34:18,889 --> 00:34:21,356
   Really? Hmm.
   Imagine that.

841
00:34:21,389 --> 00:34:24,326
  And ms. Bitterman,
  while very sexy, is dishonest.

842
00:34:21,389 --> 00:34:24,326
   Left, right, left, right!

843
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,128
   She changed the c--
   k-kermit!
   [ Squeals ]

844
00:34:27,161 --> 00:34:29,130
   Great.

845
00:34:27,161 --> 00:34:29,130
   Left, right, left, right.

846
00:34:29,164 --> 00:34:31,432
   Oh, boy.
   Now let's see. Um--

847
00:34:31,465 --> 00:34:33,901
   cue the intro!

848
00:34:31,465 --> 00:34:33,901
   Boss?

849
00:34:33,934 --> 00:34:36,702
  You are the intro.

850
00:34:33,934 --> 00:34:36,702
   What? Oh, good grief!

851
00:34:36,735 --> 00:34:40,172
   [ Man announcing ]
   Ladies and gentlemen,
   kermit the frog!

852
00:34:40,206 --> 00:34:42,173
   [ Cheering ]

853
00:34:40,206 --> 00:34:42,173
   Ha-ha!

854
00:34:42,206 --> 00:34:44,208
   Thank you.
   Thank you very much.

855
00:34:44,242 --> 00:34:46,512
   Ah. Oh, boy.

856
00:34:46,545 --> 00:34:50,581
   Thank you very much, ladies
   and gentlemen, and welcome to
   <i> the muppet christmas show.</i>

857
00:34:50,614 --> 00:34:52,882
   [ Scattered applause ]

858
00:34:50,614 --> 00:34:52,882
   Now at this time,
   we'd like to ask you...

859
00:34:52,916 --> 00:34:55,318
   To please turn off
   all cell phones and pagers.

860
00:34:55,351 --> 00:34:58,387
  [ Phones beeping ]

861
00:34:59,521 --> 00:35:02,224
   [ Beeping continues ]

862
00:35:02,257 --> 00:35:04,858
 - I think it's off.
 - [ Beeps ]

863
00:35:04,891 --> 00:35:06,426
   [ Beeps twice ]

864
00:35:04,891 --> 00:35:06,426
   Okay. Thank you. Now--

865
00:35:06,460 --> 00:35:08,461
   - [ Beeping ]
   - [ Kermit groans ]

866
00:35:08,494 --> 00:35:10,596
   Merry christmas, everyone!

867
00:35:10,630 --> 00:35:12,333
   It's showtime!

868
00:35:10,630 --> 00:35:12,333
   [ Applauding ]

869
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,942
   ♪There Was A Frog ♪

870
00:35:24,974 --> 00:35:29,811
   ♪A Very Strange
   Enchanted frog ♪

871
00:35:29,844 --> 00:35:32,447
   ♪And He Came To France Where
   The ladies cancan dance ♪

872
00:35:29,844 --> 00:35:32,447
   [ Whooping ]

873
00:35:32,481 --> 00:35:36,418
   ♪To The Moulin Scrooge
   Where our story starts
   for you ♪

874
00:35:37,918 --> 00:35:40,288
   [ Pepe ]
   Wait, donner.
   Stop, schnitzel.

875
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,391
   [ Grunts, panting ]
   Kermit.

876
00:35:43,423 --> 00:35:46,293
   Whoa! Aha.

877
00:35:46,326 --> 00:35:48,360
 Kermit, please,
 I must--

878
00:35:46,326 --> 00:35:48,360
   my, my.

879
00:35:48,393 --> 00:35:52,263
It sure is a nice christmas here
in paris in the year 1900.

880
00:35:52,297 --> 00:35:55,467
   I'm sure I'll find
   the inspiration I need
   to write about love...

881
00:35:55,498 --> 00:35:58,602
   Here in this fancy
   red windmill.

882
00:35:58,635 --> 00:36:03,373
   Ooh, but first,
   I think I'll try this
   funny green root beer.

883
00:36:04,673 --> 00:36:06,175
   Ooh.

884
00:36:06,942 --> 00:36:10,378
   Ahh.

885
00:36:06,942 --> 00:36:10,378
Hi! I'm the green fairy.

886
00:36:10,411 --> 00:36:12,513
   Well, what are you
   doing in my drink?

887
00:36:12,547 --> 00:36:14,983
   The backstroke. Ah!

888
00:36:15,016 --> 00:36:17,384
   And now, get ready...

889
00:36:17,416 --> 00:36:21,322
 For a magnificent, opulent,
 stupendous, tremendous,

890
00:36:21,355 --> 00:36:24,356
   gargantuan
  <i> spectacular spectacular!</i>

891
00:36:24,389 --> 00:36:28,393
 - [ Shouting ]
 - get ready for moulin scrooge!

892
00:36:28,425 --> 00:36:30,962
   ♪ [ Pop ]

893
00:36:36,699 --> 00:36:40,469
 ♪ [ Clucking Rhythmically ]

894
00:36:44,373 --> 00:36:47,409
   ♪ [ Quacking Rhythmically ]

895
00:36:47,442 --> 00:36:50,510
 [ Pepe ]
 Kermit! Kermit!
 Kermit! Kermit!

896
00:36:50,543 --> 00:36:52,379
It's very important.
[ Gasps ]

897
00:36:52,413 --> 00:36:55,481
 Unbelievable, okay?
 Oof!

898
00:36:55,514 --> 00:36:57,750
   Aah!

899
00:36:57,784 --> 00:37:01,320
 When the beautiful saltine,
 the sparkling zirconia diamond,

900
00:37:01,353 --> 00:37:03,255
   saw this stranger,

901
00:37:03,289 --> 00:37:04,789
   she knew what she wanted
   for christmas,

902
00:37:04,822 --> 00:37:06,758
   and it was green.

903
00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:08,559
   [ Whimpers ]

904
00:37:08,592 --> 00:37:13,596
Ladies and gentlemen,
presenting the star of our show,

905
00:37:13,630 --> 00:37:18,835
 the beautiful, stunning,
 exotic, voluptuous saltine!

906
00:37:18,867 --> 00:37:21,469
   - saltine!
   - [ Crowd gasps ]

907
00:37:31,777 --> 00:37:33,712
   [ Coughing ]

908
00:37:33,746 --> 00:37:36,615
   [ Coughing continues ]

909
00:37:36,648 --> 00:37:38,284
   Whoa!

910
00:37:51,793 --> 00:37:55,565
<i> Bonsoir, mes amis.</i>
 [ Exhales ]

911
00:37:57,331 --> 00:38:00,868
  Come and get me, boys.
  [ Laughing ]

912
00:38:05,605 --> 00:38:07,539
   ♪Santa Baby ♪

913
00:38:07,572 --> 00:38:09,808
   ♪Slip A Sable
   Under the tree ♪

914
00:38:09,842 --> 00:38:12,445
   ♪For Me ♪

915
00:38:12,478 --> 00:38:14,413
   ♪I've Been
   An awful good girl ♪

916
00:38:14,445 --> 00:38:16,347
   ♪Santa Baby ♪

917
00:38:16,380 --> 00:38:18,815
   ♪And Hurry Down
   The chimney tonight ♪

918
00:38:18,849 --> 00:38:21,352
  Let's pick it up a little!

919
00:38:22,686 --> 00:38:24,688
   ♪Come And Trim
   My christmas tree ♪

920
00:38:24,721 --> 00:38:27,456
   ♪With Some Decorations
   Bought at tiffany's ♪

921
00:38:27,489 --> 00:38:29,490
   ♪I Really Do
   Believe in you ♪

922
00:38:29,523 --> 00:38:32,094
   ♪Let's See If You
   Believe in me too ♪

923
00:38:32,126 --> 00:38:33,628
   Kermit, I--

924
00:38:32,126 --> 00:38:33,628
   what?

925
00:38:33,661 --> 00:38:35,663
   - uh--
   - [ Pepe chuckles ]

926
00:38:35,695 --> 00:38:38,598
   Uh, doobie-do?
   [ Grunts ]

927
00:38:38,632 --> 00:38:42,469
   ♪Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
   Jingle all the way ♪

928
00:38:38,632 --> 00:38:42,469
   What?

929
00:38:42,501 --> 00:38:45,438
   ♪When You Come
   To moulin scrooge, you stay
   you've gotta pay, yeah ♪

930
00:38:45,471 --> 00:38:49,641
 ♪ [ Clucking Rhythmically ]

931
00:38:49,673 --> 00:38:52,976
 [ Miss piggy ]
 Where'd you come from?
 Hey, this is my big number!

932
00:38:53,010 --> 00:38:55,412
  ♪So If You're Feeling Plucky ♪

933
00:38:55,445 --> 00:38:58,816
   ♪Our Chickens Are Just Ducky
   At the moulin scrooge ♪

934
00:38:58,849 --> 00:39:00,316
   [ Miss piggy ]
   Coming through!
   Move it! Move it!

935
00:39:00,349 --> 00:39:03,385
   ♪It's Christmas Every Day
   As long as you can pay ♪

936
00:39:00,349 --> 00:39:03,385
   Out of the way!

937
00:39:03,418 --> 00:39:04,987
   ♪And-- ♪

938
00:39:03,418 --> 00:39:04,987
   Stop!

939
00:39:05,019 --> 00:39:07,822
Will everybody stop
singing different songs!

940
00:39:07,856 --> 00:39:10,592
  I can't remember which one
  I'm supposed to sing!

941
00:39:10,623 --> 00:39:13,460
   - [ Angry grunting ]
   - excuse me, excuse me.

942
00:39:13,494 --> 00:39:15,496
 "Santa baby,"
 From "be-do-be-do."

943
00:39:15,528 --> 00:39:17,797
   Ah.

944
00:39:15,528 --> 00:39:17,797
   Oh, yeah. Right.

945
00:39:17,829 --> 00:39:20,799
   ♪Be-do-be-do
   Santa baby ♪

946
00:39:20,833 --> 00:39:22,934
   ♪Forgot To Mention
   One little thing ♪

947
00:39:22,967 --> 00:39:24,802
   ♪A Ring ♪

948
00:39:24,835 --> 00:39:27,437
   ♪I Don't Mean
   On the phone ♪

949
00:39:27,471 --> 00:39:31,742
   ♪Santa Baby
   So hurry down
   the chimney tonight ♪

950
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,048
   ♪Hurry Down
   The chimney tonight ♪

951
00:39:40,548 --> 00:39:43,684
   ♪Hurry Tonight ♪

952
00:39:43,717 --> 00:39:46,653
   ♪ [ Piano ]

953
00:39:46,686 --> 00:39:48,822
   ♪ [ Ends ]

954
00:39:46,686 --> 00:39:48,822
  I'll be waiting up
  for you.

955
00:39:48,855 --> 00:39:49,889
   [ Giggling ]

956
00:39:51,757 --> 00:39:54,626
   Uh, thank you.

957
00:39:54,659 --> 00:39:57,996
There is one present
you can give<i> moi.</i>

958
00:39:58,030 --> 00:40:00,732
   Well, what is it,
   beautiful saltine?

959
00:40:00,764 --> 00:40:02,768
  <i> Vous,</i> froggy.

960
00:40:00,764 --> 00:40:02,768
   Hmm?

961
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:06,103
   <i> Vous.</i>
   <i> Voulez-vous coucher</i>
   <i> avec moi?</i>

962
00:40:06,135 --> 00:40:07,904
   Say wha--

963
00:40:07,938 --> 00:40:12,041
   <i> ♪ [ Ends ]</i>

964
00:40:12,074 --> 00:40:14,076
   [ Cheering ]

965
00:40:14,108 --> 00:40:16,112
   [ Chickens clucking ]

966
00:40:17,077 --> 00:40:19,014
   Boy, that went great.

967
00:40:19,047 --> 00:40:22,016
   Kermit, the theater is
   in great danger, okay?

968
00:40:22,048 --> 00:40:24,684
   Huh?

969
00:40:22,048 --> 00:40:24,684
   The contract says--

970
00:40:24,717 --> 00:40:27,119
   <i> Ay,</i> i'm exhausted, okay.

971
00:40:24,717 --> 00:40:27,119
Oh, boy.

972
00:40:27,152 --> 00:40:30,021
   Kermie, quickly.
   What were your 10 favorite
   things about my performance?

973
00:40:30,054 --> 00:40:32,791
  [ Stammering ]
  Well, it's really hard to
  narrow it down to just 10.

974
00:40:32,824 --> 00:40:34,992
   Oh, kermie!

975
00:40:32,824 --> 00:40:34,992
 Yeah, really. Mmm. Hmm?

976
00:40:35,025 --> 00:40:38,629
   Try! Start with number 10
   and work backward
   to your favorite.

977
00:40:38,663 --> 00:40:40,831
Don't you have to change
for your next number?

978
00:40:40,864 --> 00:40:43,066
   Oh! My next number!
   Oh, yes!

979
00:40:43,099 --> 00:40:45,568
   I'm wonderful
   in that too.

980
00:40:43,099 --> 00:40:45,568
  Of course.

981
00:40:45,601 --> 00:40:48,538
   <i> Ay.</i>

982
00:40:45,601 --> 00:40:48,538
   Now, pepe,
   what is going on?

983
00:40:48,570 --> 00:40:52,706
   Okay. You are listening?
   Because this is
   very important, okay?

984
00:40:52,739 --> 00:40:55,676
Pepe, I'm listening.

985
00:40:52,739 --> 00:40:55,676
   Okay, okay.
   [ Exhales ]

986
00:40:55,710 --> 00:41:00,114
   You must get the monies
   to bitterman by 6:00,
   not midnight, okay.

987
00:41:00,146 --> 00:41:02,114
   Otherwise, we will all
   be on the streets, okay.

988
00:41:02,148 --> 00:41:04,818
   Wait a second. That's not
   what the contract says.

989
00:41:04,851 --> 00:41:06,751
   Oh,<i> mira, mira.</i>
   Look, look.

990
00:41:04,851 --> 00:41:06,751
   What?

991
00:41:07,985 --> 00:41:10,021
   - do you see--
   - whoa! Hey, wait a second.

992
00:41:10,054 --> 00:41:13,190
   She changed
   the contract, okay?
   You see?

993
00:41:14,123 --> 00:41:15,959
   You can see right here.

994
00:41:15,992 --> 00:41:18,994
   She's very, very tricky,
   okay, kermit.

995
00:41:19,027 --> 00:41:20,963
   Wait a minute.
   That-- that can't be.

996
00:41:20,996 --> 00:41:23,998
   Oh, it does be.
   And it's almost 6:00, okay.

997
00:41:24,032 --> 00:41:25,735
   [ Gasps ]

998
00:41:31,606 --> 00:41:34,908
"Kermin," unless we do something
fast, ms. Bitterman's going
to take the theater, okay.

999
00:41:34,940 --> 00:41:37,643
 Oh, yeah, yeah.
 But the joke's on her
 'cause we've got the money.

1000
00:41:37,677 --> 00:41:39,245
   [ Gasp ]
   Oh.

1001
00:41:37,677 --> 00:41:39,245
   Ha-ha!

1002
00:41:39,277 --> 00:41:41,746
   - yeah, and I'm gonna
   take it to her right now.
   - okay.

1003
00:41:41,780 --> 00:41:45,684
   Pastel m&m's?
   I said no pastel m&m's!

1004
00:41:45,717 --> 00:41:49,586
 Kermie, you said you'd treat me
 like a star if I came back.

1005
00:41:49,619 --> 00:41:51,455
   - hmph! How could you?
   - but, piggy, it's just a--

1006
00:41:51,922 --> 00:41:53,590
   comin' through.

1007
00:41:54,257 --> 00:41:56,693
   [ Chicken clucks ]

1008
00:41:56,726 --> 00:41:59,528
   Kermit, 6:00.

1009
00:41:56,726 --> 00:41:59,528
I gotta get to the bank.

1010
00:41:59,561 --> 00:42:01,997
   <i> Sí, sí.</i>

1011
00:41:59,561 --> 00:42:01,997
   Kermit. Maybe I should
   go to the bank for you.

1012
00:42:02,030 --> 00:42:04,233
  No, no.
  Fozzie, but what about
  your monologue?

1013
00:42:04,266 --> 00:42:07,068
 You've been working
 so hard on it.

1014
00:42:04,266 --> 00:42:07,068
   This is more important.

1015
00:42:07,101 --> 00:42:11,538
   Hmm?

1016
00:42:07,101 --> 00:42:11,538
   And, uh, besides,
   it's kind of crazy here.

1017
00:42:11,570 --> 00:42:14,039
   <i> Sí, sí, sí.</i>
   I will fill in
   for fozzie, okay.

1018
00:42:14,072 --> 00:42:15,940
   See, I'm very funny.
   Very funny.
   Waka waka, okay.

1019
00:42:15,974 --> 00:42:18,644
Ah! Not bad!

1020
00:42:15,974 --> 00:42:18,644
 <i> Gracias, gracias.</i>

1021
00:42:18,677 --> 00:42:21,813
 Now, are you sure
 you're okay missing
 your stand-up spot?

1022
00:42:21,846 --> 00:42:24,882
   Kermit, you have done
   so much for us.

1023
00:42:24,916 --> 00:42:26,650
   Let me do this for you.

1024
00:42:28,018 --> 00:42:29,853
 Okay, fozzie,
 you've got the job.

1025
00:42:29,885 --> 00:42:31,987
But now, remember,
this is a very important
job to us.

1026
00:42:32,021 --> 00:42:34,657
   Kermit!

1027
00:42:34,690 --> 00:42:36,057
   You can count on me.

1028
00:42:36,090 --> 00:42:38,726
 Uh, uh, fozzie!

1029
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,096
   Yeah?

1030
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,096
  Uh, the money?

1031
00:42:41,128 --> 00:42:43,730
   Oh! Oh, oh.
   Right, right, right, right.
   The money. Yes, of course.

1032
00:42:43,764 --> 00:42:45,666
   <i> Ayayay.</i>

1033
00:42:45,699 --> 00:42:48,902
  Boy, hope that was
  the right thing to do.

1034
00:42:45,699 --> 00:42:48,902
   Where's fozzie? He's on.

1035
00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:51,036
   This is me, okay.

1036
00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:51,036
[ Announcer ] the comedy
stylings of fozzie bear!

1037
00:42:51,070 --> 00:42:52,038
   Right, right.

1038
00:42:52,070 --> 00:42:53,905
   ♪ [ Band ]

1039
00:42:53,938 --> 00:42:55,973
   [ Laughing ]

1040
00:42:56,007 --> 00:42:58,909
   [ Laughing continues ]

1041
00:42:58,943 --> 00:43:01,646
   Eh, thank you, thank you.
   [ Laughing ]

1042
00:43:01,679 --> 00:43:04,814
   Okay. [ Clears throat ]
   Waka waka, okay.
   [ Clears throat ]

1043
00:43:04,847 --> 00:43:08,718
 What are santa's three favorite
 gardening tools, okay?

1044
00:43:10,117 --> 00:43:13,688
   Hoe, hoe and hoe, okay?

1045
00:43:13,721 --> 00:43:15,789
   ♪ [ DRUM: Rim Shot ]

1046
00:43:15,822 --> 00:43:17,791
   Hoe, hoe and hoe.

1047
00:43:15,822 --> 00:43:17,791
   ♪ [ Rim Shot ]

1048
00:43:17,824 --> 00:43:19,792
   This what santa says, okay.

1049
00:43:19,826 --> 00:43:22,329
   Gardening tools!
   Gardening tools!

1050
00:43:22,362 --> 00:43:24,163
   Hoe, hoe, hoe!

1051
00:43:24,195 --> 00:43:26,798
   Hey, the shrimp's
   floundering!
   [ Laughing ]

1052
00:43:26,831 --> 00:43:28,833
   You shut up, okay.

1053
00:43:26,831 --> 00:43:28,833
   [ Audience laughing ]

1054
00:43:28,867 --> 00:43:31,870
   - he told us to clam up.
   - oh, what's he wanna do?
   "Mussel" us?

1055
00:43:31,902 --> 00:43:34,904
   [ Laughing ]

1056
00:43:31,902 --> 00:43:34,904
 Don't get me steamed, okay.

1057
00:43:34,938 --> 00:43:37,840
 Steamed shrimp.

1058
00:43:34,938 --> 00:43:37,840
   Whoa, pass
   the cocktail sauce!

1059
00:43:37,873 --> 00:43:39,975
Oh, yeah!
[ Laughing ]

1060
00:43:40,009 --> 00:43:41,978
   That's it!
   I'm coming up there!

1061
00:43:42,010 --> 00:43:45,079
  Whoa, I'm shakin'.

1062
00:43:42,010 --> 00:43:45,079
   ♪ [ Band ]

1063
00:43:45,112 --> 00:43:46,915
   You're always shakin'.

1064
00:43:45,112 --> 00:43:46,915
   [ Audience laughing ]

1065
00:43:49,016 --> 00:43:51,985
   I'm going to the bank.

1066
00:43:52,018 --> 00:43:54,154
   Gosh, I sure hope they have
   a little bear's room there.

1067
00:43:54,188 --> 00:43:55,789
   [ Australian accent ]
   Excuse me, mate!

1068
00:43:54,188 --> 00:43:55,789
   Wh-wh-what?

1069
00:43:57,757 --> 00:44:01,827
  Watch your step.
  This street is teemin'
  with wild crocodiles.

1070
00:44:01,860 --> 00:44:05,030
   Ah-- there aren't
   any crocodiles here.

1071
00:44:05,063 --> 00:44:07,699
   Are you tellin' me
   how to do my job?

1072
00:44:07,731 --> 00:44:10,835
  No, no, no, no.
  It's just that this is a city,
  and there aren't any swamps.

1073
00:44:10,867 --> 00:44:13,170
   Crikey!
   You're a bear!

1074
00:44:13,202 --> 00:44:16,038
   Oh! I'm gonna have to
   tranquilize him,

1075
00:44:16,072 --> 00:44:18,907
   'cause bears get a tad cranky
   when they get a bit stressed.

1076
00:44:18,940 --> 00:44:20,775
   Huh?
   [ Screaming ]

1077
00:44:20,809 --> 00:44:22,744
  Crikey! There he goes!

1078
00:44:22,777 --> 00:44:27,047
   [ Shouts, panting ]

1079
00:44:27,079 --> 00:44:30,016
  He's getting away!

1080
00:44:30,050 --> 00:44:32,852
   Watch out, folks!
   Stand back! Come on!

1081
00:44:32,885 --> 00:44:35,054
   I think he went this way.

1082
00:44:35,086 --> 00:44:37,722
   Watch out!
   There he goes.

1083
00:44:37,755 --> 00:44:39,790
   [ Panting ]

1084
00:44:39,824 --> 00:44:41,760
   What? What?
   [ Screams ]

1085
00:44:43,327 --> 00:44:45,229
   He's right there.

1086
00:44:45,262 --> 00:44:50,734
 These darts are really potent,
 so I've gotta get a clean shot.

1087
00:44:52,034 --> 00:44:54,702
   [ Gasping ]

1088
00:44:54,735 --> 00:44:57,940
   [ Chuckling ]
   Meanwhile, everybody
   waited nervously...

1089
00:44:57,972 --> 00:45:00,240
   For fozzie to get
   to the bank.

1090
00:45:00,273 --> 00:45:04,110
   [ Grunts ]
   Well, what's happening?
   Wh-what's going on?

1091
00:45:04,143 --> 00:45:06,346
   Everything
   is melding together.

1092
00:45:06,378 --> 00:45:07,980
   [ Voice slowing down ]
   Crikey.

1093
00:45:08,014 --> 00:45:10,883
  I think I'm going to--
  I am.

1094
00:45:10,916 --> 00:45:13,352
   [ Thuds ]

1095
00:45:10,916 --> 00:45:13,352
   [ Screams ]

1096
00:45:13,385 --> 00:45:15,286
   There he goes!

1097
00:45:15,318 --> 00:45:18,355
   [ Panting ]

1098
00:45:18,389 --> 00:45:20,157
   What's this? Hmm.

1099
00:45:18,389 --> 00:45:20,157
   [ Spraying ]

1100
00:45:20,190 --> 00:45:22,826
   Ow! Ooh. Ow! Hot!

1101
00:45:22,858 --> 00:45:25,161
   Ow! Hot! Ow, my eyes!

1102
00:45:25,193 --> 00:45:28,163
   [ Screams ] oh! Ow!
   [ Spitting ]

1103
00:45:28,197 --> 00:45:30,133
   [ Panting ]

1104
00:45:33,934 --> 00:45:36,003
   Where did he go?
   Where'd he go?

1105
00:45:38,072 --> 00:45:40,173
   [ Exhales ]

1106
00:45:41,974 --> 00:45:45,812
Merry christmas!
Ho, ho, ho.

1107
00:45:41,974 --> 00:45:45,812
   [ Panting ]

1108
00:45:45,844 --> 00:45:47,980
   Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh!

1109
00:45:45,844 --> 00:45:47,980
   Oh!

1110
00:45:48,012 --> 00:45:50,048
 Oh, you poor thing.
 Are you okay?

1111
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:51,415
   [ Panting ]

1112
00:45:51,449 --> 00:45:53,284
   Where's bitterman bank?

1113
00:45:53,317 --> 00:45:55,786
   Bitterman bank.

1114
00:45:55,820 --> 00:45:58,255
  Look at you.
  You're soaking wet
  and freezing.

1115
00:45:58,288 --> 00:46:01,190
   Here, you take my coat.

1116
00:46:01,224 --> 00:46:03,059
   [ Girl ]
   Look! It's him!

1117
00:46:01,224 --> 00:46:03,059
   What?

1118
00:46:03,092 --> 00:46:04,994
  That green guy
  who stole christmas...

1119
00:46:05,027 --> 00:46:07,163
   And ruined
   all our wishes!

1120
00:46:07,195 --> 00:46:09,898
   I'm nancy nut-what
   from whatville, you see,

1121
00:46:09,931 --> 00:46:13,099
and you've made me
and uncle nicky quite angry.

1122
00:46:13,132 --> 00:46:15,368
   He'll make sure you don't
   steal christmas again...

1123
00:46:15,402 --> 00:46:17,936
   By making you feel
   some serious pain.

1124
00:46:17,969 --> 00:46:21,173
   Let's get him!
   And, uh--

1125
00:46:23,273 --> 00:46:26,043
   I can't rhyme.
   Can't we just go
   beat him up?

1126
00:46:26,077 --> 00:46:28,246
   Yeah, let's go get
   that sick green pup!

1127
00:46:28,278 --> 00:46:30,114
 [ Screams ]

1128
00:46:30,146 --> 00:46:33,717
 [ Panting ]

1129
00:46:40,155 --> 00:46:42,291
   Ow! Ooh! Ow!

1130
00:46:40,155 --> 00:46:42,291
   [ Man ]
   Hey.

1131
00:46:42,324 --> 00:46:44,392
   [ Man #2 ]
   Hey, that's a bear!

1132
00:46:42,324 --> 00:46:44,392
   A bear?

1133
00:46:44,425 --> 00:46:47,161
   [ All shouting ]

1134
00:46:47,193 --> 00:46:49,462
  [ Whimpering ]

1135
00:46:47,193 --> 00:46:49,462
   [ Fozzie ]
   Hey, where you going?

1136
00:46:49,496 --> 00:46:51,465
  [ Whimpering ]

1137
00:46:53,500 --> 00:46:57,036
   Hey!
   Anyone here seen that guy
   that stole christmas?

1138
00:46:57,068 --> 00:47:00,105
   He went that way!

1139
00:46:57,068 --> 00:47:00,105
   Come on! Get him!
   There he goes!

1140
00:47:00,137 --> 00:47:02,708
He's green,
he's mean, and--

1141
00:47:03,306 --> 00:47:05,442
hey!

1142
00:47:05,474 --> 00:47:08,444
   [ Whimpering ]

1143
00:47:08,478 --> 00:47:10,313
  Thank you.

1144
00:47:10,347 --> 00:47:12,716
 Stop, you!
 Come back here!

1145
00:47:10,347 --> 00:47:12,716
   [ Exhales ]

1146
00:47:13,782 --> 00:47:15,983
   [ Shouts, panting ]

1147
00:47:26,092 --> 00:47:27,993
   Hello! Hello!
   [ Grunts ]

1148
00:47:28,494 --> 00:47:30,764
   [ Gasps ]

1149
00:47:30,797 --> 00:47:33,932
 [ Screams ]
 Where's ms. Bitterman's office?

1150
00:47:33,965 --> 00:47:36,135
   - what?
   - uh, where's ms. Bitterman's
   office?

1151
00:47:36,168 --> 00:47:38,236
   I need to deposit this money.

1152
00:47:38,268 --> 00:47:40,804
  Well, if I was a bear,

1153
00:47:40,838 --> 00:47:44,341
 I suppose
 I'd deposit my honey in
 an old tree somewhere.

1154
00:47:44,373 --> 00:47:47,475
   No, not honey! Money!

1155
00:47:47,509 --> 00:47:50,445
   - what?
   - money!

1156
00:47:50,478 --> 00:47:54,414
   I need to give
   ms. Bitterman her money!

1157
00:47:54,447 --> 00:47:57,786
 Oh, ms. Bitterman's
 laundry.

1158
00:47:57,818 --> 00:48:00,387
   Oh, no.

1159
00:47:57,818 --> 00:48:00,387
  Her offices are
  on the 13th floor.

1160
00:48:00,420 --> 00:48:03,090
   What--

1161
00:48:00,420 --> 00:48:03,090
  I let her know
  you're coming.

1162
00:48:03,123 --> 00:48:05,291
   - thank you.
   - gesundheit.

1163
00:48:05,324 --> 00:48:08,193
   [ Panting ]

1164
00:48:13,130 --> 00:48:15,532
   Where's the buttons?
   No buttons!

1165
00:48:15,565 --> 00:48:18,101
   Ah!

1166
00:48:18,135 --> 00:48:20,436
   [ British accent ]
   Oh, what a beautiful
   nightclub.

1167
00:48:20,469 --> 00:48:22,871
   [ Phone ringing ]

1168
00:48:22,905 --> 00:48:25,541
   What do you want?
   [ Normal voice ]
   I mean, what do you want?

1169
00:48:25,574 --> 00:48:29,244
   What? No! Stop him.

1170
00:48:29,277 --> 00:48:32,213
   No, not stockings.
   Stop h--

1171
00:48:32,246 --> 00:48:33,914
   do not-- never mind.

1172
00:48:37,349 --> 00:48:39,585
   [ Beeping ]

1173
00:48:39,619 --> 00:48:41,320
   [ Bell dings ]

1174
00:48:51,927 --> 00:48:54,130
   Wa-ha-ha!

1175
00:48:56,164 --> 00:48:58,268
   [ Gasps, gulps ]

1176
00:48:59,101 --> 00:49:01,403
   Uh-oh.

1177
00:49:02,871 --> 00:49:05,474
 [ Screams, whimpering ]

1178
00:49:11,644 --> 00:49:14,980
   [ Grunting ]

1179
00:49:16,414 --> 00:49:18,183
   [ Panting ]

1180
00:49:21,987 --> 00:49:24,856
   [ Screaming ]

1181
00:49:24,889 --> 00:49:28,391
[ Blowing, sucking ]

1182
00:49:28,423 --> 00:49:32,461
   [ Shouting ]

1183
00:49:32,494 --> 00:49:35,263
   - [ Crackling ]
   - ow! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ow!
   Ooh! Ooh!

1184
00:49:35,297 --> 00:49:39,601
   Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
   [ Screaming ]

1185
00:49:40,934 --> 00:49:42,402
   Oh!

1186
00:49:42,436 --> 00:49:43,971
   Yes!

1187
00:49:48,041 --> 00:49:50,876
   No!

1188
00:49:50,909 --> 00:49:53,278
   [ Sighs ]
   Oh.

1189
00:49:54,445 --> 00:49:57,548
   [ Screaming ]

1190
00:49:54,445 --> 00:49:57,548
   [ Crackling ]

1191
00:49:57,581 --> 00:50:03,286
Owie!
[ Grunting ]

1192
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:06,990
 So, looks like
 the christmas spirit...

1193
00:50:08,324 --> 00:50:10,525
   Is with the good guys
   for a change.

1194
00:50:10,557 --> 00:50:12,393
  [ Grunts ]

1195
00:50:12,427 --> 00:50:16,264
We know the truth
about the<i> contract.</i>

1196
00:50:20,432 --> 00:50:24,536
   There's nothing in here.

1197
00:50:20,432 --> 00:50:24,536
   Ha! You mean, nothing
   but a pile of cash.

1198
00:50:24,570 --> 00:50:27,340
   Ahh!

1199
00:50:40,282 --> 00:50:41,951
   - [ Beeps ]
   - no!

1200
00:50:41,983 --> 00:50:43,920
 [ Panting ]

1201
00:50:43,952 --> 00:50:46,688
   Now, if you don't mind,
   if you could take
   your sad self...

1202
00:50:46,721 --> 00:50:48,989
   Away from here.

1203
00:50:49,023 --> 00:50:51,559
   You smell
   like a burnt couch.
   [ Blows ]

1204
00:50:51,592 --> 00:50:54,695
   [ Gasping ]

1205
00:50:54,728 --> 00:50:57,363
   Oh, no. Oh, no.

1206
00:50:57,396 --> 00:50:59,465
 Oh, no, no, no.
 Oh, no.

1207
00:50:59,498 --> 00:51:00,532
   Yes!

1208
00:51:00,565 --> 00:51:02,533
   ♪ [ Piano ]

1209
00:51:02,567 --> 00:51:04,603
   [ Honking ]

1210
00:51:04,635 --> 00:51:08,405
   Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
   Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

1211
00:51:08,438 --> 00:51:12,442
   Chug! Chug! Chug!

1212
00:51:08,438 --> 00:51:12,442
   Nog! Nog!

1213
00:51:12,476 --> 00:51:14,611
   [ Belches ]

1214
00:51:12,476 --> 00:51:14,611
 Oh, hey, rizzo.

1215
00:51:14,643 --> 00:51:17,413
Listen, you did a great job.
Your nose was a real
bright spot.

1216
00:51:17,447 --> 00:51:19,581
   Yeah, lucky break.
   [ Chuckling ]

1217
00:51:19,614 --> 00:51:22,050
   [ Belches ]

1218
00:51:22,083 --> 00:51:26,019
   ♪ [ Humming ]

1219
00:51:26,052 --> 00:51:28,722
  [ Scooter ] great. And
  you guys have been dancing
  together for a long time?

1220
00:51:28,755 --> 00:51:31,557
   Yeah. Yeah.

1221
00:51:31,590 --> 00:51:34,060
   Wait! Hey, girls.
   Come back.

1222
00:51:34,094 --> 00:51:36,494
   My uncle used to
   own the theater.

1223
00:51:34,094 --> 00:51:36,494
  Hey, hey, scooter?

1224
00:51:36,527 --> 00:51:39,730
   Hmm? Yeah, boss?

1225
00:51:36,527 --> 00:51:39,730
Uh, have you
seen fozzie?

1226
00:51:39,764 --> 00:51:42,701
   No, not since he left.

1227
00:51:42,733 --> 00:51:45,635
   Hmm. I think I better
   go look for him.

1228
00:51:45,668 --> 00:51:48,071
   And Miss the party?
   I'm sure he'll be fine.

1229
00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:50,706
Yeah, you're probably right,
but I'd feel better
if I knew for certain.

1230
00:51:50,739 --> 00:51:51,974
   Hmm.

1231
00:51:52,007 --> 00:51:55,177
[ Laughter ]

1232
00:52:07,019 --> 00:52:08,454
   [ Sighs ]

1233
00:52:10,690 --> 00:52:12,590
   [ Sighs ]

1234
00:52:10,690 --> 00:52:12,590
   Fozzie? What happened?

1235
00:52:15,427 --> 00:52:16,695
   [ Sighs ]

1236
00:52:18,028 --> 00:52:19,664
   Please tell me
   you deposited the money.

1237
00:52:19,697 --> 00:52:22,733
 Oh, kermit. I--
 [ Sighs ]

1238
00:52:22,766 --> 00:52:24,768
   [ Gasps ]

1239
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:26,536
   Oh, fozzie, no.

1240
00:52:30,639 --> 00:52:31,840
   Oh.

1241
00:52:35,143 --> 00:52:37,244
 [ Frog ]
 Go ahead. Try it. Yeah.
 Just put your tongue on it.

1242
00:52:37,277 --> 00:52:39,012
   [ Little frog ]
   Really?

1243
00:52:37,277 --> 00:52:39,012
 Yeah. Just lick it.

1244
00:52:39,045 --> 00:52:40,713
   You sure it won't stick?

1245
00:52:39,045 --> 00:52:40,713
   Of course. Yeah.

1246
00:52:40,746 --> 00:52:42,648
  No, no. Of course not.

1247
00:52:40,746 --> 00:52:42,648
  I dare ya.

1248
00:52:42,681 --> 00:52:45,017
   I double dare ya.

1249
00:52:42,681 --> 00:52:45,017
  I triple-frog dare ya.

1250
00:52:45,050 --> 00:52:47,085
   Oh! Hey.

1251
00:52:45,050 --> 00:52:47,085
Now you gotta do it.

1252
00:52:47,119 --> 00:52:48,519
   Yeah.

1253
00:52:48,552 --> 00:52:50,255
   Oh.

1254
00:52:48,552 --> 00:52:50,255
   See, it--

1255
00:52:50,288 --> 00:52:52,023
   [ Gasps ]

1256
00:52:50,288 --> 00:52:52,023
[ All laughing ]

1257
00:52:52,056 --> 00:52:54,024
 Well, good luck
 with it.

1258
00:52:52,056 --> 00:52:54,024
   I'm stuck!

1259
00:52:54,057 --> 00:52:58,128
  Guess I was wrong.

1260
00:52:54,057 --> 00:52:58,128
I'm stuck! Guys, don't leave me.
I'm stuck!

1261
00:52:58,161 --> 00:53:00,262
   Think, fozzie. Think.

1262
00:53:00,295 --> 00:53:02,331
   I'm trying.
   I'm trying, kermit.

1263
00:53:00,295 --> 00:53:02,331
   [ Thuds ]

1264
00:53:02,364 --> 00:53:05,266
   - what happened to you
   after you left the theater?
   - well,

1265
00:53:05,300 --> 00:53:08,303
  first the crazy australian
  tried to shoot me
  with his blowgun.

1266
00:53:08,335 --> 00:53:10,771
   Then I got painted green,
   so people thought
   I stole christmas.

1267
00:53:10,804 --> 00:53:13,740
  Then I ran through
  a steam bath and got burnt
  by a bunch of lasers.

1268
00:53:13,773 --> 00:53:16,275
   Fozzie, there's no time
   for your stories.
   This is serious.

1269
00:53:16,309 --> 00:53:18,412
   Now, was it ever
   out of your hands?

1270
00:53:16,309 --> 00:53:18,412
   No.

1271
00:53:18,445 --> 00:53:20,413
   [ Sighs ]

1272
00:53:18,445 --> 00:53:20,413
   Oh, wait.

1273
00:53:20,445 --> 00:53:23,248
 Maybe for a second
 when I bumped into
 santa and his army.

1274
00:53:23,282 --> 00:53:25,283
   Fozzie, do you realize
   that if we don't
   find this money,

1275
00:53:25,315 --> 00:53:27,084
   we'll have lost everything
   we've worked for?

1276
00:53:27,717 --> 00:53:29,586
   Just keep looking.

1277
00:53:29,619 --> 00:53:32,121
   [ Whimpers ]

1278
00:53:32,155 --> 00:53:35,125
   Does it help
   that I feel really badly?

1279
00:53:35,157 --> 00:53:36,458
   [ Sighs ]

1280
00:53:37,193 --> 00:53:38,795
   [ Whimpers ]

1281
00:53:55,407 --> 00:53:57,842
   Okay. So here are
   your holiday bonuses.

1282
00:53:57,876 --> 00:53:59,478
   Merry christmas.

1283
00:53:57,876 --> 00:53:59,478
   [ Woman ]
   Thank you, ms. Bitterman.

1284
00:53:59,510 --> 00:54:00,478
   Merry christmas.

1285
00:54:00,512 --> 00:54:02,346
   Kermit.

1286
00:54:02,378 --> 00:54:04,748
   Hey!

1287
00:54:04,782 --> 00:54:08,184
   You gave me
   the greatest present of all.

1288
00:54:08,217 --> 00:54:11,120
   Your theater.

1289
00:54:11,153 --> 00:54:14,389
   Ms. Bitterman,
   you changed the contract.

1290
00:54:11,153 --> 00:54:14,389
   You can't prove that.

1291
00:54:14,422 --> 00:54:17,724
   I can't believe you'd do this
   on christmas eve.

1292
00:54:17,757 --> 00:54:21,529
   Huh. By now
   I thought you would have
   realized I'm the bad guy.

1293
00:54:23,530 --> 00:54:27,501
  Ms. Bitterman,
  why can't you understand
  what this theater means to us?

1294
00:54:27,534 --> 00:54:29,402
   It's our dream.

1295
00:54:29,434 --> 00:54:31,369
   Your dream?

1296
00:54:29,434 --> 00:54:31,369
   Mm-hmm.

1297
00:54:31,402 --> 00:54:35,873
   Please. I mean,
   you can't eat a dream.

1298
00:54:35,907 --> 00:54:39,477
   You can't sell
   watered down drinks
   from a dream.

1299
00:54:39,510 --> 00:54:44,081
   You can't be the queen
   of a polynesian tribe
   in a dream.

1300
00:54:45,347 --> 00:54:47,449
   Oh, wait. Yes, you can.
   Forget that last one.

1301
00:54:47,483 --> 00:54:50,318
   The point is...

1302
00:54:50,351 --> 00:54:53,422
   I believe in money,
   not dreams.

1303
00:54:53,454 --> 00:54:56,324
  A life without dreams?

1304
00:54:56,356 --> 00:54:58,759
  That-that-that's terrible.

1305
00:54:56,356 --> 00:54:58,759
   You just don't get it,
   do you?

1306
00:54:58,791 --> 00:55:02,128
   Dreams ruin lives.

1307
00:55:02,594 --> 00:55:05,130
   And in your case,

1308
00:55:05,164 --> 00:55:08,167
   they ruined the lives
   of your friends too.

1309
00:55:08,199 --> 00:55:09,335
   Uh--

1310
00:55:11,869 --> 00:55:13,805
   [ Sighs ]

1311
00:55:15,405 --> 00:55:17,373
   [ Whimpers ]

1312
00:55:20,309 --> 00:55:21,311
   Hey, kermit.

1313
00:55:24,847 --> 00:55:27,516
   Don't let it spoil
   your holiday.

1314
00:55:27,548 --> 00:55:32,219
 Remember, this is the most
 wonderful time of the year.

1315
00:55:32,251 --> 00:55:33,855
   Hmm.

1316
00:55:35,255 --> 00:55:38,825
   ♪'Tis The Season
   To be jolly ♪

1317
00:55:38,858 --> 00:55:43,195
   <i> ♪Fa-la-la-la-la</i>
   <i> La-la-la-la ♪</i>

1318
00:55:43,228 --> 00:55:46,431
This is not good.
This is not good at all.

1319
00:55:46,463 --> 00:55:48,298
   Somebody's gotta
   do something
   about that bitterman.

1320
00:55:48,331 --> 00:55:50,534
   That's what I've been
   trying to say.

1321
00:55:50,568 --> 00:55:53,537
   I mean, look what she's put
   this poor frog through.

1322
00:55:53,570 --> 00:55:57,474
 <i> I'm sorry I convinced you all</i>
 <i> to work so hard</i>
 <i> and believe in this dream.</i>

1323
00:55:57,507 --> 00:55:59,807
   <i> It was all for nothing.</i>

1324
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:02,310
  <i> We lost the money.</i>
  <i> We lost the theater.</i>

1325
00:56:02,344 --> 00:56:04,612
<i> We've lost everything.</i>

1326
00:56:04,644 --> 00:56:06,681
   I mean, send someone
   down there to dole out
   some justice.

1327
00:56:08,715 --> 00:56:12,318
   Uh, could you send someone
   down there to dole out
   some justice, please?

1328
00:56:13,586 --> 00:56:16,322
   Let me think about it.

1329
00:56:16,355 --> 00:56:19,257
   <i> [ Wind whistling ]</i>

1330
00:56:16,355 --> 00:56:19,257
   [ Sighs ]

1331
00:56:20,692 --> 00:56:23,262
   [ Sighs ]

1332
00:56:39,373 --> 00:56:42,475
 "Thank you, kermit,
 from the children of the world.

1333
00:56:42,509 --> 00:56:44,545
   'For the lovers,
   the dreamers and you.'"

1334
00:56:44,577 --> 00:56:45,579
   Dreams.

1335
00:56:46,646 --> 00:56:48,582
   Bitterman's right.

1336
00:56:48,614 --> 00:56:51,916
  I ruined everyone's life
  with my ridiculous dreams.

1337
00:56:51,949 --> 00:56:53,318
   [ Sighs ]

1338
00:57:01,724 --> 00:57:03,460
   [ Sighs ]

1339
00:57:08,731 --> 00:57:10,466
   Hmm.

1340
00:57:12,634 --> 00:57:14,570
   [ Shivers ]

1341
00:57:29,481 --> 00:57:31,817
   You can't tell me
   that this is what
   you wanted to happen.

1342
00:57:31,849 --> 00:57:33,817
   It isn't.

1343
00:57:33,851 --> 00:57:36,487
   Hello, fritz?
   We've got a problem on earth.

1344
00:57:36,519 --> 00:57:38,588
   Can you prepare the transport
   for a field agent?

1345
00:57:38,621 --> 00:57:41,391
   [ Chuckles ]
   Oh, great. Great.

1346
00:57:41,423 --> 00:57:43,391
 Should I get glenn on the horn?

1347
00:57:44,860 --> 00:57:46,428
   No.

1348
00:57:46,460 --> 00:57:47,596
   Wha--

1349
00:57:48,628 --> 00:57:50,364
   me?

1350
00:57:50,398 --> 00:57:52,600
   N-no. I-i'm the wrong guy.

1351
00:57:52,632 --> 00:57:54,500
   I'm gonna go get glenn.

1352
00:57:55,802 --> 00:57:58,739
   Oh! What--

1353
00:57:58,771 --> 00:58:01,606
   what'd you do
   with my clothes?
   My glasses?

1354
00:58:01,639 --> 00:58:03,675
   I look like an ice-cream man
   from<i> hello, dolly!</i>

1355
00:58:04,641 --> 00:58:08,346
   What-- what's this?

1356
00:58:08,378 --> 00:58:12,449
<i> and implementation of
 divine intervention on earth."</i>

1357
00:58:08,378 --> 00:58:12,449
   <i> "Regulatory guide</i>
   <i> to the design</i>

1358
00:58:12,481 --> 00:58:14,351
   I should probably tell you
   I'm a very slow reader.

1359
00:58:14,384 --> 00:58:16,318
   Okay. Fine.

1360
00:58:20,554 --> 00:58:23,424
   <i> "Performing miracles</i>
   <i> for dummies,"</i> huh?

1361
00:58:23,458 --> 00:58:26,793
  I'm sorry.
  I'm the wrong guy for the job.

1362
00:58:26,827 --> 00:58:30,364
   See, I'm a numbers guy.
   People are too unpredictable.

1363
00:58:30,396 --> 00:58:34,467
  Danny-l,
  you are the right guy.

1364
00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:37,369
   You have a real
   understanding
   of right and wrong...

1365
00:58:37,402 --> 00:58:39,472
 And an innate sense
 of justice.

1366
00:58:40,338 --> 00:58:42,440
   You'll be fine.

1367
00:58:42,472 --> 00:58:46,376
  Now, get down there before
  he turns into a frogsicle.

1368
00:58:46,409 --> 00:58:47,710
   Go.
   [ Snaps fingers ]

1369
00:58:47,744 --> 00:58:49,713
   [ Screams ]

1370
00:58:49,746 --> 00:58:51,382
   [ Sighs ]

1371
00:58:53,614 --> 00:58:55,617
   [ Screaming ]

1372
00:58:58,952 --> 00:58:59,987
   [ Groans ]

1373
00:59:00,021 --> 00:59:02,489
   Kermit! Oh!

1374
00:59:02,521 --> 00:59:05,058
   Oh, dear boss.
   I'm too late!

1375
00:59:06,992 --> 00:59:09,762
   See? I've already
   blown my mission.

1376
00:59:10,563 --> 00:59:12,097
[ Screams ]
Come on, kermit.

1377
00:59:12,130 --> 00:59:13,898
   [ Blowing ]
   Hang in there, buddy.

1378
00:59:16,134 --> 00:59:18,402
   [ Whirring ]

1379
00:59:18,434 --> 00:59:21,005
   [ Kermit shuddering ]

1380
00:59:21,038 --> 00:59:23,407
   [ Gasps ]

1381
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:25,407
   Who are you?
   Why are you breathing on me?

1382
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:27,509
 You're alive!
 Now I can save you.

1383
00:59:27,543 --> 00:59:29,745
   Yeah, well, do me a favor
   and don't bother.

1384
00:59:29,777 --> 00:59:31,579
   Nobody can save me.

1385
00:59:29,777 --> 00:59:31,579
  I think I can.

1386
00:59:31,612 --> 00:59:34,014
 You see, my name is daniel.

1387
00:59:31,612 --> 00:59:34,014
   Yeah.

1388
00:59:34,047 --> 00:59:37,484
   And I've been sent from above
   in the name of justice
   to right a wrong...

1389
00:59:37,518 --> 00:59:40,586
   And help you get
   the theater back.

1390
00:59:40,619 --> 00:59:43,856
   You? You look like
   some kind of an ice-cream man
   from<i> hello, dolly!</i>

1391
00:59:43,889 --> 00:59:46,358
  Well, normally
  I'm an accountant.

1392
00:59:46,391 --> 00:59:49,927
  Well, normally I'd love to sit
  and listen to this, but I've
  got other things on my mind.

1393
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:51,495
   Good-bye.

1394
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:51,495
   No. You don't understand.

1395
00:59:51,528 --> 00:59:54,365
   I know that bitterman
   changed the contract.

1396
00:59:54,398 --> 00:59:56,500
   How do you know that?
   Oh, wait a second.

1397
00:59:56,532 --> 00:59:58,902
  You don't run one of those
  muppet internet fan sites,
  do you?

1398
00:59:58,934 --> 01:00:01,837
   No. No, no. I'm a friend,
   and I'm here to help.

1399
00:59:58,934 --> 01:00:01,837
   Yeah. Mmm.

1400
01:00:01,871 --> 01:00:04,440
   I'm sure if we put
   our heads together,
   we could come up with a plan.

1401
01:00:04,472 --> 01:00:07,476
   Sure. Whatever.

1402
01:00:04,472 --> 01:00:07,476
 What would the boss do?

1403
01:00:07,509 --> 01:00:11,112
  Hey! We'll call the press.
  Alert the media!
  Start a frenzy.

1404
01:00:11,144 --> 01:00:13,547
   No way, pal.
   Bitterman owns the paper,

1405
01:00:13,579 --> 01:00:16,016
   she owns the tv stations
   and three-quarters
   of the internet.

1406
01:00:16,048 --> 01:00:18,550
   - how could one person
   own so much?
   - corporate synergy.

1407
01:00:18,583 --> 01:00:20,652
   It's out of control.

1408
01:00:18,583 --> 01:00:20,652
   <i> ♪ [ Nbc Chimes ]</i>

1409
01:00:20,686 --> 01:00:23,454
   Now could you please
   just leave me alone? Please!

1410
01:00:23,487 --> 01:00:25,423
   Actually, I'm not allowed to.

1411
01:00:25,456 --> 01:00:27,592
   [ Groans ]

1412
01:00:25,456 --> 01:00:27,592
 Besides, you should not
 be alone right now.

1413
01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,927
You're not yourself.

1414
01:00:27,625 --> 01:00:29,927
   Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1415
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,561
   Kermit the frog
   would not walk out on his
   friends on christmas eve.

1416
01:00:32,594 --> 01:00:35,664
   Walk out? What do you know
   about my friends, huh?

1417
01:00:35,697 --> 01:00:39,601
 I'll tell you what I know.
 My friends would be better off
 without me. That's what I know!

1418
01:00:39,635 --> 01:00:42,471
 What? That is not true.

1419
01:00:39,635 --> 01:00:42,471
   It is true!
   It is true!

1420
01:00:42,503 --> 01:00:45,373
 In fact,
 I've ruined their lives,
 and I wish I'd never been born!

1421
01:00:46,541 --> 01:00:48,475
   [ Gasps ]
   No.

1422
01:00:48,507 --> 01:00:51,444
Y-you did not just say that.
You did not just say that!

1423
01:00:51,478 --> 01:00:54,646
I did just say it.
I said I wish
I'd never been born!

1424
01:00:54,679 --> 01:00:58,616
 - what am I supposed to do now?
 - I wish I'd never been born.

1425
01:00:58,650 --> 01:01:01,887
  There. I said it again. I wish
  I'd never been b-o-r-n, born!

1426
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:03,454
 I wish I'd never been born.

1427
01:01:03,487 --> 01:01:05,422
  Chapter 12, paragraph two.

1428
01:01:06,657 --> 01:01:09,025
   "If the subject
   tells the field agent...

1429
01:01:09,057 --> 01:01:11,728
   That he had wished
   he'd never been born"--

1430
01:01:09,057 --> 01:01:11,728
 psst! Psst!

1431
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:14,630
 Come close.
 I wish I'd never been born!

1432
01:01:14,663 --> 01:01:18,032
   "Then the field agent
   is required to adjust
   the world accordingly."

1433
01:01:18,065 --> 01:01:20,067
 Yeah, do whatever you like,
 because, did I mention,

1434
01:01:20,099 --> 01:01:23,637
   I wish I had never been born!

1435
01:01:23,670 --> 01:01:27,106
   Okay. Calm down, daniel.

1436
01:01:23,670 --> 01:01:27,106
 I wish I'd never been born.

1437
01:01:28,007 --> 01:01:30,010
   I wish I'd never been born.

1438
01:01:30,041 --> 01:01:31,911
   What are you doing?

1439
01:01:31,943 --> 01:01:34,746
  I saw this in
  a training video once.

1440
01:01:31,943 --> 01:01:34,746
   What?

1441
01:01:34,780 --> 01:01:36,548
   [ Groans ]

1442
01:01:34,780 --> 01:01:36,548
   <i> [ Thunderclap ]</i>

1443
01:01:38,983 --> 01:01:42,219
Welcome to the world
in which
you were never born.

1444
01:01:42,251 --> 01:01:44,454
   [ Gasping ]
   H-how did--

1445
01:01:44,487 --> 01:01:45,755
   [ Screams ]

1446
01:01:45,789 --> 01:01:50,460
Not ready is he.
There is no try.
Only do.

1447
01:01:50,492 --> 01:01:53,228
Hmm!

1448
01:01:50,492 --> 01:01:53,228
   Oops. Wrong world. Sorry.

1449
01:01:53,260 --> 01:01:55,563
   Dan, how did you--
   [ Groaning ]

1450
01:01:55,597 --> 01:01:58,499
   Oh! What's the matter
   with you?

1451
01:01:55,597 --> 01:01:58,499
   <i> [ Thunderclap ]</i>

1452
01:01:58,532 --> 01:02:00,501
   I'm sorry.
   I-- I had to do that.

1453
01:02:00,534 --> 01:02:02,802
I'm just following procedure
as outlined in the manual.

1454
01:02:02,835 --> 01:02:06,472
<i> [ Woman on PA. ]
 Bitterman plaza is now closing
 for christmas eve.</i>

1455
01:02:06,505 --> 01:02:08,105
Welcome to the other world--

1456
01:02:08,139 --> 01:02:11,577
the world in which
you were never born.

1457
01:02:11,610 --> 01:02:13,711
   [ Kermit ]
   Wh-- what happened
   to the park?

1458
01:02:13,744 --> 01:02:16,713
  [ Daniel ]
  Ms. Bitterman bulldozed it
  and built this mall.

1459
01:02:16,746 --> 01:02:20,115
   [ Kermit ]
   But how did--
   what did--

1460
01:02:20,148 --> 01:02:22,485
   wait a second.
   Are you some kind
   of a magician?

1461
01:02:22,518 --> 01:02:25,119
 No. But I am
 a part-time balloon
 animal artist.

1462
01:02:25,152 --> 01:02:27,021
 - [ Gasps ]
 - you see, I take the balloons,

1463
01:02:27,054 --> 01:02:29,523
   and you twist them into--

1464
01:02:29,556 --> 01:02:31,492
   I have no time
   for that now, kermit.

1465
01:02:31,525 --> 01:02:34,828
<i> This is a serious mission.</i>

1466
01:02:31,525 --> 01:02:34,828
   <i> [ Whimpers ]</i>

1467
01:02:36,262 --> 01:02:38,197
   <i> I will guide you</i>
   <i> through a mysterious world.</i>

1468
01:02:38,231 --> 01:02:40,633
   <i> The journey will shock you.</i>

1469
01:02:40,666 --> 01:02:42,034
   <i> Hey.</i>

1470
01:02:42,067 --> 01:02:43,469
   <i> Hey.</i>

1471
01:02:49,306 --> 01:02:52,141
 Leave me alone!
 I'm goin' home to pack
 and say good-bye to my friends.

1472
01:02:52,175 --> 01:02:54,711
   Now the joke's over.
   [ Whimpers ]

1473
01:02:56,012 --> 01:02:57,614
   Number one.

1474
01:02:56,012 --> 01:02:57,614
   Hmm?

1475
01:02:57,646 --> 01:02:59,648
  You don't have a home.

1476
01:02:57,646 --> 01:02:59,648
   W--

1477
01:02:59,681 --> 01:03:01,750
   number two, you don't
   have any friends,

1478
01:03:01,782 --> 01:03:03,951
 because you haven't
 been born.

1479
01:03:03,985 --> 01:03:06,287
   But--

1480
01:03:03,985 --> 01:03:06,287
   number three,
   I don't joke.

1481
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:08,655
  I've been told
  I'm not funny.

1482
01:03:08,688 --> 01:03:11,524
   Oh, really?
   That gag with the snow
   in my face was hilarious.

1483
01:03:11,557 --> 01:03:12,726
   Gonzo?

1484
01:03:13,693 --> 01:03:15,961
   I'm new at this.

1485
01:03:15,994 --> 01:03:19,198
  Oh, sir.
  Sir, if you could just
  spare a second here.

1486
01:03:19,231 --> 01:03:23,101
  I'm-i'm gonzo,
  and this is
  amy the dancing brick.

1487
01:03:23,134 --> 01:03:25,202
   Gonzo, thank goodness.
   Hey. Why aren't you
   at the party?

1488
01:03:25,235 --> 01:03:28,672
 [ Gonzo ]
 Look, buddy. I'm trying
 to work here. Great.

1489
01:03:28,704 --> 01:03:31,208
   What?

1490
01:03:28,704 --> 01:03:31,208
   That was my only customer
   today. Thanks a lot.

1491
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:32,708
   What?

1492
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:32,708
   Thank you.

1493
01:03:32,740 --> 01:03:35,076
   Kermit.

1494
01:03:32,740 --> 01:03:35,076
   Now why don't you
   just run along.

1495
01:03:35,110 --> 01:03:37,211
 - I don't get it. Gonzo?
 - you're a bad luck guy for me.

1496
01:03:38,179 --> 01:03:40,981
 [ Groans ]
 I'm sorry, amy.

1497
01:03:41,014 --> 01:03:44,284
 I don't understand.
 I mean, gonzo acted
 like he didn't know me.

1498
01:03:44,318 --> 01:03:47,121
   Yeah, because
   that was the gonzo
   from the kermit-less world.

1499
01:03:47,152 --> 01:03:49,555
   [ Whimpers ]

1500
01:03:47,152 --> 01:03:49,555
   Hey, isn't that
   your friend rizzo on tv?

1501
01:03:49,588 --> 01:03:51,423
   I'm afraid to look.

1502
01:03:51,458 --> 01:03:54,726
  What?
  Rizzo on<i> fear factor?</i> how?
   <i> Hey, dawn,</i>
   <i> for your next stunt,</i>

1503
01:03:54,759 --> 01:03:57,262
<i> you're gonna have to
 face off against a filthy,
 disease-ridden rat.</i>

1504
01:03:57,295 --> 01:03:58,996
   -<i> Hey.</i>
   -<i> Are you ready?</i>

1505
01:03:59,028 --> 01:04:02,766
<i> And if you pass this test,
 you will then have to eat
 the disgusting rat.</i>

1506
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:03,767
   <i> Wh-what?</i>

1507
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:03,767
   <i> Here we go.</i>

1508
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:05,835
  <i> That was not in my contract.</i>

1509
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:05,835
<i> Three,</i>

1510
01:04:05,867 --> 01:04:08,070
 <i> two, one.</i>

1511
01:04:05,867 --> 01:04:08,070
   <i> No. No. No, no, no!</i>

1512
01:04:08,103 --> 01:04:09,771
   <i> Go!</i>

1513
01:04:08,103 --> 01:04:09,771
   <i> Hiya.</i>

1514
01:04:09,804 --> 01:04:12,340
   <i> [ Screams ]</i>

1515
01:04:09,804 --> 01:04:12,340
   [ Kermit ]
   What a disgusting show.

1516
01:04:12,373 --> 01:04:14,741
   How can nbc
   live with themselves?

1517
01:04:14,775 --> 01:04:16,778
   It's worse than it seems.

1518
01:04:14,775 --> 01:04:16,778
   <i> [ Rizzo ]</i>
   <i> Somebody get me outta here!</i>

1519
01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:19,046
  For some reason,
  your not being born
  has altered the world,

1520
01:04:19,079 --> 01:04:22,316
so 90% of network tv
is reality shows.

1521
01:04:22,349 --> 01:04:25,184
-<i> Go ahead. Eat the rat.
 First bite's the hardest part.</i>
-<i> [ both scream ]</i>

1522
01:04:25,217 --> 01:04:27,619
-<i> [ rizzo ]
 No!</i>
-<i> Tastes just like chicken.</i>

1523
01:04:27,652 --> 01:04:29,653
   Oh, poor rizzo.
   I can't watch this.

1524
01:04:27,652 --> 01:04:29,653
   <i> No!</i>

1525
01:04:29,686 --> 01:04:31,355
This is a nightmare.

1526
01:04:29,686 --> 01:04:31,355
   <i> [ Both scream ]</i>

1527
01:04:31,389 --> 01:04:33,791
   You weren't there to keep
   your friends together, so--

1528
01:04:31,389 --> 01:04:33,791
   <i> please don't eat me!</i>

1529
01:04:33,824 --> 01:04:35,893
   ♪ [ Irish Folk ]

1530
01:04:33,824 --> 01:04:35,893
 Hey. Do you hear music?

1531
01:04:35,925 --> 01:04:38,128
   Is that the band? Oh.

1532
01:04:38,161 --> 01:04:41,264
   ♪ [ Continues ]

1533
01:04:44,199 --> 01:04:46,100
   Okay. Let me see
   my spesh, fluffy.

1534
01:04:50,237 --> 01:04:52,573
   Wait a second.
   You guys are the mayhem band.
   You're not riverdancers.

1535
01:04:53,641 --> 01:04:55,675
 Out of the way,
 before you get stomped.

1536
01:04:55,708 --> 01:04:58,378
 And besides,
 what are you doing
 out of the kitchen?

1537
01:04:58,411 --> 01:05:00,780
Shouldn't you be
on some number two plate
special or something?

1538
01:05:00,813 --> 01:05:02,615
   What are you talking about?

1539
01:05:02,648 --> 01:05:04,350
Over there, short stack.

1540
01:05:05,150 --> 01:05:06,318
   [ Whimpers ]

1541
01:05:06,983 --> 01:05:09,186
   Dochopper's?

1542
01:05:09,219 --> 01:05:10,588
   [ Whimpers ]

1543
01:05:13,889 --> 01:05:15,725
   Are you a dancer?

1544
01:05:15,759 --> 01:05:17,659
<i> ♪ [ Ends ]</i>

1545
01:05:19,293 --> 01:05:22,196
   [ Kermit ]
   Oh, no. It can't be.

1546
01:05:23,764 --> 01:05:24,799
   [ Whimpers ]

1547
01:05:28,902 --> 01:05:30,338
   Oh, dear.

1548
01:05:33,438 --> 01:05:35,307
   Oh, dear.

1549
01:05:35,340 --> 01:05:38,242
  I'm sorry, kermit.
  Kermit?

1550
01:05:38,275 --> 01:05:40,612
   [ Horns honking ]

1551
01:05:41,445 --> 01:05:42,279
   [ Gasps ]

1552
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:46,683
   [ Daniel ]
   Yep. The muppet theater.

1553
01:05:46,717 --> 01:05:49,853
 Do you wanna see how
 that turned out without ya?

1554
01:05:54,690 --> 01:05:56,325
   <i> ♪ [ Rock ]</i>

1555
01:05:56,358 --> 01:05:58,727
   Oh, Dr. Honeydew.
   Dr. Honeydew.

1556
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:01,663
   Please tell me you know me.
   Please tell me this is still
   the muppet theater.

1557
01:06:01,695 --> 01:06:04,297
 Muppet theater?
 Can't you read, lizard?

1558
01:06:04,329 --> 01:06:05,732
   This is dot.

1559
01:06:07,967 --> 01:06:10,403
  <i> ♪ [ Rock Continues ]</i>

1560
01:06:19,376 --> 01:06:21,344
   What the--
   [ Whimpers ]

1561
01:06:26,782 --> 01:06:28,751
  [ Groans ]

1562
01:06:28,784 --> 01:06:30,786
<i> ♪ [ Electronic Dance ]</i>

1563
01:06:28,784 --> 01:06:30,786
   Wha--

1564
01:06:31,485 --> 01:06:32,788
 oh.

1565
01:06:33,121 --> 01:06:35,289
  [ Whimpering ]

1566
01:06:35,322 --> 01:06:37,057
   Oh, no.

1567
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:41,394
   This is a nightmare.

1568
01:06:41,427 --> 01:06:44,898
  Now do you believe that
  you haven't been born yet?

1569
01:06:41,427 --> 01:06:44,898
   I'm starting to.

1570
01:06:44,931 --> 01:06:47,298
 [ Man ]
 Hey, ms. Bitterman.
 Here you go, dear.

1571
01:06:47,331 --> 01:06:49,801
   Oh, thank you, johnny.

1572
01:06:49,835 --> 01:06:53,804
 All right.
 Hey, listen, boss. By the way,
 these two deadbeats over here--

1573
01:06:53,838 --> 01:06:56,274
they stopped buyin' drinks
for the girls about an hour ago.

1574
01:06:56,306 --> 01:06:58,774
   Is that true?

1575
01:06:56,306 --> 01:06:58,774
We've been buyin' all night.

1576
01:06:58,807 --> 01:07:00,744
Yeah, we're goin' broke.

1577
01:06:58,807 --> 01:07:00,744
   Yeah.

1578
01:07:00,777 --> 01:07:02,878
   They're lyin'.

1579
01:07:02,911 --> 01:07:06,282
   I think it's time
   for you two to hit the road.

1580
01:07:06,315 --> 01:07:07,816
   [ Both ]
   Whoa!

1581
01:07:07,849 --> 01:07:08,917
 [ Crashes ]

1582
01:07:08,949 --> 01:07:10,851
   [ Laughing ]

1583
01:07:08,949 --> 01:07:10,851
   How about another?

1584
01:07:10,885 --> 01:07:12,820
  You better believe it.

1585
01:07:14,121 --> 01:07:15,422
   - ms. Bitterman?
   - yes?

1586
01:07:15,454 --> 01:07:17,458
 We're all out of mineral water.

1587
01:07:17,490 --> 01:07:21,059
Then find some empty bottles
and fill it with tap water.

1588
01:07:21,092 --> 01:07:22,828
   But-- oh!

1589
01:07:22,862 --> 01:07:25,130
   [ Crash ]

1590
01:07:25,163 --> 01:07:27,733
   Ms. Bitterman,
   not only have you ruined
   the muppet theater,

1591
01:07:27,766 --> 01:07:29,365
   you've also ruined
   the muppets.

1592
01:07:29,398 --> 01:07:32,802
Thank you.
Customer feedback
is very important to us.

1593
01:07:32,835 --> 01:07:34,937
   I will certainly
   consider your input.

1594
01:07:34,971 --> 01:07:36,373
   [ Snaps fingers ]

1595
01:07:34,971 --> 01:07:36,373
   Uh, wait a second.

1596
01:07:36,405 --> 01:07:39,507
   Mee-mee-mee-mee.
   Mee. Mee-mee-mee-mee.

1597
01:07:36,405 --> 01:07:39,507
 Beaker, you're all swollen.

1598
01:07:39,541 --> 01:07:41,876
   Uh, uh, could we
   talk about this?

1599
01:07:41,909 --> 01:07:43,945
   [ Screams ]

1600
01:07:45,913 --> 01:07:47,815
   [ Shouts ]

1601
01:07:49,882 --> 01:07:50,850
   [ Low voice ]
   Meep-meep.

1602
01:07:54,853 --> 01:07:56,855
   I managed to get
   my hand stamped.

1603
01:07:56,889 --> 01:07:58,791
   Lick your hand,
   and we'll try to get back in.

1604
01:08:03,094 --> 01:08:04,796
   You guys okay?

1605
01:08:05,961 --> 01:08:07,864
   There you go.

1606
01:08:08,864 --> 01:08:11,032
   Fozzie?

1607
01:08:08,864 --> 01:08:11,032
   Yeah?

1608
01:08:11,065 --> 01:08:14,102
You probably don't
recognize me, do ya?

1609
01:08:14,135 --> 01:08:17,872
  No. But this is christmas eve,
  and it looks like
  you could use a hand.

1610
01:08:17,905 --> 01:08:20,908
Hmm. Hmm. Your kindness
means a lot to me right now.

1611
01:08:20,942 --> 01:08:25,145
   Yeah, well,
   always help a stranger!

1612
01:08:25,179 --> 01:08:26,945
   Ah, bye!

1613
01:08:26,979 --> 01:08:28,914
   Ah!

1614
01:08:28,948 --> 01:08:30,884
[ Laughing ]

1615
01:08:28,948 --> 01:08:30,884
   [ Kermit ]
   Well,

1616
01:08:30,917 --> 01:08:33,252
   he's acting
   a little strange, but,

1617
01:08:33,284 --> 01:08:36,154
   gee, it's good to know
   fozzie turned out
   basically okay.

1618
01:08:36,188 --> 01:08:38,855
   Yeah. If being
   a pickpocket is okay.

1619
01:08:38,889 --> 01:08:40,824
   Wha--

1620
01:08:40,858 --> 01:08:43,860
  he-- he-he took my wallet.
  Unbelievable.

1621
01:08:43,893 --> 01:08:46,930
And you don't even have
pockets. Even more unbelievable.

1622
01:08:47,962 --> 01:08:49,864
   Yeah, but...

1623
01:08:49,898 --> 01:08:52,802
   How could things
   be this bad without me?

1624
01:08:52,835 --> 01:08:55,936
I guess someone like you
makes a big difference
in a lot of lives.

1625
01:08:55,970 --> 01:08:56,972
   Hmm.

1626
01:08:57,904 --> 01:09:01,841
   But... I'm just one frog.

1627
01:09:02,576 --> 01:09:04,577
   You know what?

1628
01:09:04,609 --> 01:09:06,880
I think there's someone else
you should see.

1629
01:09:09,247 --> 01:09:10,816
   Piggy.

1630
01:09:21,890 --> 01:09:23,292
   Hmm.

1631
01:09:24,292 --> 01:09:26,360
  She lives in this sty?

1632
01:09:26,394 --> 01:09:27,529
   Yeah.

1633
01:09:27,561 --> 01:09:29,963
   Apartment 217.

1634
01:09:30,864 --> 01:09:32,500
   Here.

1635
01:09:30,864 --> 01:09:32,500
   Hmm?

1636
01:09:32,533 --> 01:09:34,402
  You better take these.

1637
01:09:47,345 --> 01:09:49,514
   [ Miss piggy ]
   Who is it?

1638
01:09:49,546 --> 01:09:52,281
  Um, uh, my name is kermit.

1639
01:09:52,314 --> 01:09:55,251
Uh, uh, kermit the frog.

1640
01:09:52,314 --> 01:09:55,251
   [ Chains clinking ]

1641
01:10:00,256 --> 01:10:02,356
   Who?
   [ Gasps ]

1642
01:10:04,192 --> 01:10:06,461
   Uh, someone you used to know.

1643
01:10:06,493 --> 01:10:09,563
   [ Sighs ]
   Yes, uh, of course.

1644
01:10:09,595 --> 01:10:11,998
 It's all coming back to me now.

1645
01:10:12,032 --> 01:10:15,268
   Um, wait right there.

1646
01:10:15,301 --> 01:10:17,970
   [ Miss piggy ]
   Oh. Oh. Out of my way.

1647
01:10:15,301 --> 01:10:17,970
   [ Toilet flushes ]

1648
01:10:18,002 --> 01:10:19,938
   [ Cat screeches ]

1649
01:10:18,002 --> 01:10:19,938
   Oh, sorry.
   [ Chuckles ]

1650
01:10:19,970 --> 01:10:21,639
   [ Clattering ]

1651
01:10:19,970 --> 01:10:21,639
   [ Crash ]

1652
01:10:21,672 --> 01:10:23,841
   [ Cat screeching ]

1653
01:10:25,542 --> 01:10:27,879
   [ Chuckles ]

1654
01:10:27,911 --> 01:10:28,944
   Piggy?

1655
01:10:28,978 --> 01:10:30,913
   Korwin?

1656
01:10:30,947 --> 01:10:33,016
   It's been so long
   since we met at, uh--

1657
01:10:33,048 --> 01:10:35,283
  oh, you brought candy! Oh!

1658
01:10:35,317 --> 01:10:38,453
 Oh, oh! Let's see
 what's in here. Oh, oh!

1659
01:10:38,485 --> 01:10:41,355
  Mmm! Mmm! Oh. Mmm.
  Creamy good!

1660
01:10:41,389 --> 01:10:44,958
  Oh. Mmm! Oh, fruit center.
  Oh, oh! Nuts! Oh!

1661
01:10:44,990 --> 01:10:47,226
[ Chomping ]
Mmm!

1662
01:10:47,260 --> 01:10:50,061
   [ Kermit ]
   Piggy, uh, merry christmas.

1663
01:10:47,260 --> 01:10:50,061
   Oh! Mmm.

1664
01:10:50,095 --> 01:10:52,365
   I can see
   you really like cats.

1665
01:10:52,398 --> 01:10:53,932
   Doesn't everyone?

1666
01:10:53,966 --> 01:10:55,400
   Hmm?

1667
01:10:55,432 --> 01:10:57,969
   So, uh--

1668
01:10:55,432 --> 01:10:57,969
   make yourself comfortable.

1669
01:10:58,002 --> 01:11:00,304
   Have a seat--
   somewhere.

1670
01:10:58,002 --> 01:11:00,304
   Thank you.

1671
01:11:00,337 --> 01:11:02,073
   Um, you, uh--

1672
01:11:00,337 --> 01:11:02,073
   [ Cats meows ]

1673
01:11:03,372 --> 01:11:05,407
 You look, uh, good.

1674
01:11:05,440 --> 01:11:07,577
 So, uh,
 what are you up to?

1675
01:11:07,609 --> 01:11:10,444
   Oh. Actually, I do
   quite a lot of acting.

1676
01:11:10,478 --> 01:11:12,014
 Really?

1677
01:11:10,478 --> 01:11:12,014
   Mm-hmm.

1678
01:11:12,046 --> 01:11:14,515
   Of course,
   I do most of it
   from here now.

1679
01:11:14,548 --> 01:11:16,550
   [ Rings ]

1680
01:11:16,582 --> 01:11:18,351
   [ Cats meowing ]

1681
01:11:18,385 --> 01:11:20,021
   [ Ringing continues ]

1682
01:11:20,054 --> 01:11:22,122
  Your, uh-- your phone.

1683
01:11:23,422 --> 01:11:25,125
   All right, already.
   Excuse me.

1684
01:11:25,158 --> 01:11:27,126
   Uh, sure.

1685
01:11:25,158 --> 01:11:27,126
[ Grumbles ]

1686
01:11:28,726 --> 01:11:30,695
 [ Jamaican accent ]
 Hello, darling.

1687
01:11:28,726 --> 01:11:30,695
   N-nice kitty.

1688
01:11:30,729 --> 01:11:33,932
   Miss piggy knows
   the answers you seek.

1689
01:11:33,965 --> 01:11:36,034
   Miss piggy's for
   entertainment purposes only.

1690
01:11:36,067 --> 01:11:38,435
   You must be 18 or older.
   2.99 a minute.
   Local tolls may apply.

1691
01:11:38,467 --> 01:11:40,037
  Piggy, what are you doing?
  You're not jamaican.

1692
01:11:40,069 --> 01:11:42,537
   Yeah, well,
   I'm not psychic either.

1693
01:11:42,570 --> 01:11:44,506
   [ Jamaican accent ]
   Now, as I was sayin'--

1694
01:11:42,570 --> 01:11:44,506
   <i> [ Line clicks ]</i>

1695
01:11:44,539 --> 01:11:47,475
   Hello? Hello? Oh, great!

1696
01:11:47,507 --> 01:11:50,511
  You just
  lost me a gig.

1697
01:11:47,507 --> 01:11:50,511
   Yeah, yeah--

1698
01:11:50,545 --> 01:11:53,514
   but, piggy, that's not
   real acting. That's deceiving
   people for money.

1699
01:11:53,546 --> 01:11:55,581
  Oh, no.
  You're not a cop, are you?

1700
01:11:55,614 --> 01:11:57,649
   'Cause if you are,
   you have to tell me.

1701
01:11:57,682 --> 01:12:00,453
   No. No, no. No.
   I'm just a friend.

1702
01:12:00,485 --> 01:12:03,622
   Look. What do you say
   you and I go out for a nice
   christmas dinner, huh?

1703
01:12:03,654 --> 01:12:05,657
   But-but-but
   what about my babies?

1704
01:12:05,689 --> 01:12:08,525
I mean, I still have to wrap
Mr. Meow-meow's present.

1705
01:12:08,559 --> 01:12:09,994
   [ Cat ]
   Meow-meow.

1706
01:12:11,528 --> 01:12:14,431
   Besides, I look terrible.

1707
01:12:14,463 --> 01:12:16,966
   Oh, piggy. Are you crazy?

1708
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:18,634
  You always look beautiful.

1709
01:12:20,469 --> 01:12:22,438
  You've got more beauty
  and talent than...

1710
01:12:22,470 --> 01:12:25,539
   Any supermodel
   or movie star I know.

1711
01:12:25,573 --> 01:12:33,012
   It's true I once had dreams
   of going to Hollywood
   and becoming a big star.

1712
01:12:33,046 --> 01:12:35,681
   But they were just dreams.

1713
01:12:35,713 --> 01:12:38,083
   Silly dreams.
   [ Chuckles ]

1714
01:12:38,117 --> 01:12:40,552
   [ Sobs ]

1715
01:12:40,585 --> 01:12:42,153
   [ Sniffles ]

1716
01:12:40,585 --> 01:12:42,153
   Oh.

1717
01:12:42,185 --> 01:12:44,021
  Oh, piggy.

1718
01:12:45,721 --> 01:12:47,992
   I think you should
   leave now.

1719
01:12:48,024 --> 01:12:50,425
   What?

1720
01:12:48,024 --> 01:12:50,425
   Big day tomorrow.
   [ Chuckles ]

1721
01:12:50,458 --> 01:12:52,095
   Lots to do.

1722
01:12:50,458 --> 01:12:52,095
 Yeah, but--

1723
01:12:52,127 --> 01:12:54,563
   clean, decorate,
   bake the christmas cry.

1724
01:12:54,596 --> 01:12:57,565
   - pie.
   - [ Cat meows ]

1725
01:12:58,198 --> 01:13:00,434
 What? I'm not pathetic.

1726
01:13:00,467 --> 01:13:02,769
   No.

1727
01:13:00,467 --> 01:13:02,769
I still have
my phone acting.

1728
01:13:02,802 --> 01:13:05,739
 It's just the kitties and I
 want you to leave now.

1729
01:13:05,773 --> 01:13:08,173
   Y-y-yes, piggy.
   I heard you.

1730
01:13:05,773 --> 01:13:08,173
 Leave! Did you hear me?

1731
01:13:08,207 --> 01:13:09,776
   But-but-but
   it's just that--

1732
01:13:08,207 --> 01:13:09,776
 scram! Vamoose!

1733
01:13:09,809 --> 01:13:11,211
   But, piggy--

1734
01:13:09,809 --> 01:13:11,211
   I said out!

1735
01:13:11,243 --> 01:13:13,011
   Piggy.

1736
01:13:11,243 --> 01:13:13,011
   Hi-yah!

1737
01:13:13,045 --> 01:13:14,779
   Oh!

1738
01:13:14,813 --> 01:13:16,081
   [ Groans ]

1739
01:13:16,113 --> 01:13:17,614
And take
your chocolates too!

1740
01:13:17,648 --> 01:13:19,150
   Huh?

1741
01:13:19,182 --> 01:13:20,717
 [ Door closes ]

1742
01:13:20,751 --> 01:13:22,019
  [ Door opens ]

1743
01:13:22,051 --> 01:13:23,452
  On second thought,

1744
01:13:23,485 --> 01:13:25,555
I'll take these.

1745
01:13:27,256 --> 01:13:29,057
 [ Door closes ]

1746
01:13:29,091 --> 01:13:32,694
   [ Piggy wailing ]

1747
01:13:37,265 --> 01:13:39,099
   [ Kermit ]
   Daniel?

1748
01:13:39,131 --> 01:13:41,034
   Hmm. Daniel?

1749
01:13:42,269 --> 01:13:43,770
   Daniel?

1750
01:13:44,569 --> 01:13:46,605
   Daniel?

1751
01:13:46,639 --> 01:13:48,340
  Daniel, where are you?

1752
01:13:48,372 --> 01:13:51,042
 [ Panting ]
 Daniel!

1753
01:13:51,076 --> 01:13:53,676
Daniel, where are you?
I want my life back, please!

1754
01:13:53,710 --> 01:13:55,747
   [ Panting, gasps ]

1755
01:13:56,814 --> 01:13:58,716
   Daniel?

1756
01:13:56,814 --> 01:13:58,716
   ♪ [ Guitar Strums ]

1757
01:14:04,286 --> 01:14:07,655
  ♪I Feel So Small And Useless ♪

1758
01:14:07,689 --> 01:14:11,259
   ♪Ambiguous And Clueless ♪

1759
01:14:11,292 --> 01:14:16,730
   ♪I Just Can't Seem
   To get anything right ♪

1760
01:14:17,729 --> 01:14:24,136
  ♪I Feel So Invisible Tonight ♪

1761
01:14:25,203 --> 01:14:28,673
   ♪All The Plastic Santas ♪

1762
01:14:28,706 --> 01:14:31,742
   ♪Doin' Hula Dances ♪

1763
01:14:31,774 --> 01:14:36,445
   ♪Remind Me
   That I don't belong ♪

1764
01:14:38,447 --> 01:14:42,250
   ♪All The Fake Snow Falling ♪

1765
01:14:42,283 --> 01:14:45,220
   ♪And My Friends Not Calling ♪

1766
01:14:45,252 --> 01:14:51,224
   ♪Leave Me Nothing
   But this song ♪

1767
01:14:51,257 --> 01:14:55,394
   ♪On The Most Miserable
   Christmas ♪

1768
01:14:55,427 --> 01:14:58,363
   ♪Of My Life ♪

1769
01:14:58,395 --> 01:15:01,365
   ♪The Most Miserable
   Horrible, obnoxious ♪

1770
01:15:01,399 --> 01:15:06,404
   ♪Intolerable Christmas ♪

1771
01:15:06,436 --> 01:15:09,840
  Hey. Don't give up.
  You just haven't found
  the right audience.

1772
01:15:09,872 --> 01:15:14,176
 [ Groans ]
 I'm so tired of scrounging.

1773
01:15:16,778 --> 01:15:18,847
   ♪ [ Ballad ]

1774
01:15:16,778 --> 01:15:18,847
   I've had my chance.

1775
01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:22,484
  ♪If Only I Could Go Back ♪

1776
01:15:22,516 --> 01:15:25,786
   ♪And Take Another Crack At ♪

1777
01:15:25,819 --> 01:15:28,688
  ♪All The Things
  I've left undone ♪

1778
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:30,856
   ♪I'd Do Them Right ♪

1779
01:15:32,891 --> 01:15:38,829
   ♪If I Had My Friends
   And family here tonight ♪

1780
01:15:38,863 --> 01:15:42,533
   ♪I'd Have The Most
   Wonderful christmas ♪

1781
01:15:42,565 --> 01:15:45,835
   ♪Of My Life ♪

1782
01:15:45,868 --> 01:15:49,139
 ♪Everyone Matters ♪

1783
01:15:49,804 --> 01:15:52,541
 ♪Everyone Matters ♪

1784
01:15:52,573 --> 01:15:56,210
  ♪Even The Smallest
  Of the smallest ♪

1785
01:15:56,243 --> 01:15:58,813
   ♪Can Make The Biggest
   Dreams come true ♪

1786
01:15:59,412 --> 01:16:01,147
 ♪Everyone Matters ♪

1787
01:16:01,180 --> 01:16:05,750
   ♪Everyone Matters ♪

1788
01:16:01,180 --> 01:16:05,750
  ♪For Worse Or For Better ♪

1789
01:16:05,783 --> 01:16:09,420
   ♪We Can Change
   The world around us ♪

1790
01:16:09,453 --> 01:16:12,756
   ♪With Everything We Do ♪

1791
01:16:13,890 --> 01:16:16,393
   <i> ♪Even You ♪</i>

1792
01:16:17,460 --> 01:16:20,430
   ♪Even Me ♪

1793
01:16:20,829 --> 01:16:26,202
   ♪You And Me ♪

1794
01:16:28,703 --> 01:16:30,506
   Yeah.

1795
01:16:28,703 --> 01:16:30,506
   [ Sighs ]

1796
01:16:35,975 --> 01:16:37,743
   [ Grunts ]

1797
01:16:37,777 --> 01:16:39,811
   Thanks, pal.
   What was your name?

1798
01:16:39,845 --> 01:16:41,213
 Uh, kermit.

1799
01:16:41,247 --> 01:16:42,148
   Kermit.

1800
01:16:41,247 --> 01:16:42,148
 Mm-hmm.

1801
01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:43,916
   Well, have a great
   christmas, kermit.

1802
01:16:43,948 --> 01:16:45,349
 Thanks.

1803
01:16:45,382 --> 01:16:48,351
   I'll see you around
   the mall sometime.

1804
01:16:48,385 --> 01:16:49,887
  Right.

1805
01:16:48,385 --> 01:16:49,887
   [ Sighs ]

1806
01:16:51,421 --> 01:16:53,722
   So long, gonzo.

1807
01:16:53,756 --> 01:16:55,225
   Merry christmas.

1808
01:16:56,492 --> 01:16:58,194
   Huh.

1809
01:17:00,895 --> 01:17:02,898
   Kermit,
   I'm-i'm-i'm sorry...

1810
01:17:02,930 --> 01:17:04,898
   I couldn't help you
   save the theater.

1811
01:17:04,931 --> 01:17:06,833
   I guess I--
   I wasn't much help at all.

1812
01:17:06,867 --> 01:17:08,969
 You know, the theater's
 just a building.

1813
01:17:09,002 --> 01:17:11,505
   I mean, I just
   want to get my life back.

1814
01:17:11,537 --> 01:17:13,840
All I care about is
being with my friends again.

1815
01:17:15,774 --> 01:17:17,710
   What's wrong?

1816
01:17:17,743 --> 01:17:20,278
Kermit, I don't know
how to tell you this, but...

1817
01:17:20,310 --> 01:17:22,213
   I don't know how to
   get your life back.

1818
01:17:22,247 --> 01:17:24,282
 Wh-wh-what do you mean?

1819
01:17:24,314 --> 01:17:26,817
  Are you saying I'm stuck
  this way, here, like this?

1820
01:17:26,850 --> 01:17:28,719
   Well, you see,
   I've never done this before.

1821
01:17:28,752 --> 01:17:30,787
 Yeah, but I can't leave
 my friends like this.

1822
01:17:30,819 --> 01:17:32,988
  There must be something
  in your book or something.

1823
01:17:33,021 --> 01:17:35,690
   You see, it really doesn't
   go into a lot of detail
   on the subject.

1824
01:17:35,724 --> 01:17:37,726
   No, but-but--

1825
01:17:37,759 --> 01:17:40,461
   I wish I'd never said
   "I wish I'd never been born."

1826
01:17:40,493 --> 01:17:42,462
I-- I wish
I'd never said that.

1827
01:17:42,496 --> 01:17:44,832
 How could I have said that?

1828
01:17:44,864 --> 01:17:47,333
   I could have just said
   "kermit, you're having
   a bad day" maybe,

1829
01:17:47,367 --> 01:17:49,469
   or "kermit, maybe
   things aren't quite
   goin' your way."

1830
01:17:49,502 --> 01:17:52,538
   But no, no! I had to say
   "I wish I'd never been born!"

1831
01:17:52,570 --> 01:17:54,573
How selfish!

1832
01:17:52,570 --> 01:17:54,573
 [ Phone rings ]

1833
01:17:54,605 --> 01:17:56,773
   It's ridiculously selfish.

1834
01:17:56,806 --> 01:17:59,577
  I'm stuck here in this reality
  along with all my friends!

1835
01:17:56,806 --> 01:17:59,577
   Hello?

1836
01:17:59,609 --> 01:18:01,844
   Oh, I don't believe this.

1837
01:17:59,609 --> 01:18:01,844
   Yes?

1838
01:18:01,877 --> 01:18:04,380
   How am I ever gonna get back?
   Oh, what a ridiculous
   thing to do.

1839
01:18:04,413 --> 01:18:05,349
   Yes?

1840
01:18:04,413 --> 01:18:05,349
   I give up.

1841
01:18:05,381 --> 01:18:06,583
   I can?

1842
01:18:07,916 --> 01:18:09,885
   That's great!

1843
01:18:07,916 --> 01:18:09,885
   How could this happen?

1844
01:18:09,917 --> 01:18:13,255
Oh. Well, that's a little weird.

1845
01:18:09,917 --> 01:18:13,255
<i> [ Indistinct ]</i>

1846
01:18:13,287 --> 01:18:15,589
   Okay. Thank you.

1847
01:18:13,287 --> 01:18:15,589
   I don't believe this.

1848
01:18:15,622 --> 01:18:17,523
   Kermit. Kermit.

1849
01:18:15,622 --> 01:18:17,523
 [ Sobbing ]

1850
01:18:17,556 --> 01:18:19,592
   I can send you back.

1851
01:18:19,626 --> 01:18:22,628
 I appreciate your help,
 daniel, but there's--

1852
01:18:22,662 --> 01:18:25,865
what? You-- you can?

1853
01:18:25,898 --> 01:18:28,367
   Yeah.

1854
01:18:25,898 --> 01:18:28,367
   Well th-that's terrific!
   That's great!

1855
01:18:28,399 --> 01:18:32,637
   Uh, uh, but, um,
   it's a little strange.

1856
01:18:32,671 --> 01:18:35,640
  Listen. Whatever it takes.
  Just do it.
  I'm ready. Just do it.

1857
01:18:35,672 --> 01:18:38,407
   Okay.

1858
01:18:35,672 --> 01:18:38,407
 Yeah? Yeah?

1859
01:18:38,440 --> 01:18:39,442
   [ Hawks, spits ]

1860
01:18:39,475 --> 01:18:41,612
  Oh! That's disgusting.

1861
01:18:39,475 --> 01:18:41,612
   <i> [ Thunderclap ]</i>

1862
01:18:43,546 --> 01:18:44,847
   [ Gasps ]

1863
01:18:44,880 --> 01:18:47,416
The park. It's back!

1864
01:18:47,448 --> 01:18:51,051
I'm back! And--
and I've got spit in my eye,
but I don't even care.

1865
01:18:51,085 --> 01:18:53,453
   You did it, daniel! Yay!

1866
01:18:51,085 --> 01:18:53,453
   I guess I did.

1867
01:18:53,487 --> 01:18:55,956
   Yes. Thank you,
   thank you, thank you!

1868
01:18:55,988 --> 01:18:58,858
   Well, don't thank me.
   Just, please, go be
   with your friends.

1869
01:18:58,891 --> 01:19:00,893
 Right!
 I'll go be with my friends!

1870
01:19:02,493 --> 01:19:05,563
 Hey, daniel.
 Is there anything
 I could do for you?

1871
01:19:05,595 --> 01:19:09,366
 Well, as a matter of fact,
 if you found my visit helpful--

1872
01:19:05,595 --> 01:19:09,366
 mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

1873
01:19:09,399 --> 01:19:12,670
   You could, uh,
   tell my boss by filling out
   this customer survey.

1874
01:19:12,703 --> 01:19:15,405
   Ah--

1875
01:19:12,703 --> 01:19:15,405
   it will really help
   when I come up for review.

1876
01:19:15,438 --> 01:19:18,007
   Daniel, you've done more
   than you could ever know.

1877
01:19:18,039 --> 01:19:20,475
  Thanks.
  Aw, come here you.

1878
01:19:20,507 --> 01:19:21,676
   [ Laughs ]

1879
01:19:21,710 --> 01:19:23,712
   [ Groaning ]
   Daniel.

1880
01:19:23,744 --> 01:19:25,945
 Daniel, not quite so tight.
 Not quite so tight.

1881
01:19:25,979 --> 01:19:27,914
 Yeah. Yeah.

1882
01:19:25,979 --> 01:19:27,914
   Sorry. I'm just really happy.

1883
01:19:27,948 --> 01:19:29,717
  No, it's okay, really.
  Yeah. Thanks.

1884
01:19:29,750 --> 01:19:31,350
   Bye-bye!

1885
01:19:29,750 --> 01:19:31,350
   Bye.

1886
01:19:31,384 --> 01:19:32,618
   Whoo-hoo-hoo!

1887
01:19:31,384 --> 01:19:32,618
   Uh, kermit--

1888
01:19:32,652 --> 01:19:35,355
[ Laughing ]
Whoo-hoo!

1889
01:19:35,387 --> 01:19:37,622
   I'll mail it to ya.

1890
01:19:35,387 --> 01:19:37,622
   Whoo-hoo!

1891
01:19:37,655 --> 01:19:39,958
   Thank you, daniel! Thank you!

1892
01:19:41,059 --> 01:19:43,360
   Whoopee!
   [ Laughs ]

1893
01:19:43,394 --> 01:19:45,363
   I'm back!
   [ Laughing ]

1894
01:19:45,395 --> 01:19:48,532
   Boy, this is great!
   Thank you, daniel!

1895
01:19:48,564 --> 01:19:50,366
   [ Laughing, gasps ]

1896
01:19:51,501 --> 01:19:52,802
   Yahoo!

1897
01:19:54,536 --> 01:19:57,038
  Merry christmas, everyone.
  I'm back!

1898
01:19:57,072 --> 01:19:58,773
   - huh?
   - huh?

1899
01:19:58,805 --> 01:20:00,674
   I'm back!
   Look at the--

1900
01:20:00,707 --> 01:20:03,042
 oh, I'm back! I'm back!

1901
01:20:03,076 --> 01:20:05,746
   This is wonderful!
   Merry christmas!

1902
01:20:05,779 --> 01:20:08,781
  Looks like somebody's
  been drinkin' a little
  too much eggnog.

1903
01:20:08,814 --> 01:20:10,783
  [ Laughs ]

1904
01:20:08,814 --> 01:20:10,783
   The only thing I drank...

1905
01:20:10,815 --> 01:20:13,617
Was a shot of reality
and a big glass of appreciation!

1906
01:20:13,650 --> 01:20:15,586
   [ Laughing maniacally ]

1907
01:20:19,390 --> 01:20:22,093
  An appreciation of everything,
  from gonzo's nose...

1908
01:20:22,126 --> 01:20:23,993
   To piggy's beauty.
   [ Chuckles ]

1909
01:20:24,025 --> 01:20:26,128
   Oh, rowlf, it's really you!

1910
01:20:26,162 --> 01:20:29,498
   Hey, kermit.

1911
01:20:26,162 --> 01:20:29,498
   Hey, piggy. Wow. Hey.
   You still got that mistletoe?

1912
01:20:29,530 --> 01:20:31,632
   Huh?

1913
01:20:29,530 --> 01:20:31,632
   I'm not talking to<i> vous.</i>

1914
01:20:31,666 --> 01:20:34,369
   Aw, come on.
   You don't need mistletoe
   when you're green.

1915
01:20:34,402 --> 01:20:36,002
   What?

1916
01:20:34,402 --> 01:20:36,002
   Ah!

1917
01:20:36,036 --> 01:20:38,005
   - [ Screams ]
   - whoa.

1918
01:20:38,037 --> 01:20:40,473
   [ Miss piggy ]
   What are you doing?

1919
01:20:38,037 --> 01:20:40,473
 Yeah, he's drunk all right.

1920
01:20:40,506 --> 01:20:42,408
   Kissin' a pig on
   the chops like that?

1921
01:20:42,442 --> 01:20:43,609
   [ Kisses ]
   Mwah!

1922
01:20:43,643 --> 01:20:45,444
   [ Laughs ]

1923
01:20:45,476 --> 01:20:46,746
 Beauregard!

1924
01:20:45,476 --> 01:20:46,746
   [ Panting ]

1925
01:20:46,779 --> 01:20:48,848
   Did you see that?

1926
01:20:48,881 --> 01:20:51,516
   Yeah.

1927
01:20:48,881 --> 01:20:51,516
   Did you see that?
   Kermie kissed me!

1928
01:20:51,548 --> 01:20:54,618
   He kissed me! Oh! Oh!
   My dreams just came true.

1929
01:20:54,652 --> 01:20:56,552
   Oh!

1930
01:20:56,586 --> 01:20:59,856
   [ Laughs ]

1931
01:20:59,890 --> 01:21:03,626
   [ Miss piggy ]
   Don't worry. My fall was
   cushioned by kermit's love.

1932
01:21:03,658 --> 01:21:07,027
  Yeah, I hope kermit's love
  can fix my tuba.

1933
01:21:07,060 --> 01:21:09,898
No problem, eugene. You bet.
And merry christmas, eugene.

1934
01:21:09,930 --> 01:21:11,664
   Merry christmas.
   [ Chuckles ]

1935
01:21:11,698 --> 01:21:13,634
   [ Sighs ]

1936
01:21:13,667 --> 01:21:14,736
   Fozzie?

1937
01:21:15,935 --> 01:21:17,703
   [ Sighs ]
   Any second now,

1938
01:21:17,737 --> 01:21:19,873
  I know you'll remember
  how I let you down.

1939
01:21:19,905 --> 01:21:23,609
   I understand if you never
   wanna speak to me again.

1940
01:21:23,641 --> 01:21:25,911
 Aw.

1941
01:21:23,641 --> 01:21:25,911
   [ Sighs ]
   I feel so useless.

1942
01:21:25,944 --> 01:21:28,513
Oh, fozzie,
are you kidding?

1943
01:21:28,546 --> 01:21:31,182
 Our friendship
 is a lot more important
 than any old theater.

1944
01:21:31,215 --> 01:21:32,849
   Really?

1945
01:21:31,215 --> 01:21:32,849
 Really.

1946
01:21:32,881 --> 01:21:35,585
  Thank you, kermit!
  Thank you!

1947
01:21:32,881 --> 01:21:35,585
   You bet.

1948
01:21:35,618 --> 01:21:38,821
   But why are you so happy?
   We just lost everything.

1949
01:21:38,854 --> 01:21:40,856
   I'll tell you why
   I'm happy, folks.

1950
01:21:40,889 --> 01:21:44,492
 Because tonight I realized
 that it's not that horrible
 that we lost the theater.

1951
01:21:44,524 --> 01:21:45,659
   Well, that's good,
   because we lost it.

1952
01:21:45,693 --> 01:21:48,529
Yeah, yeah,
but, you see, guys,
what really matters is--

1953
01:21:48,561 --> 01:21:50,497
   money!

1954
01:21:52,466 --> 01:21:54,734
 That's right. I said money.

1955
01:21:55,935 --> 01:21:59,604
Let's face it, frog.
Money talks.

1956
01:21:59,636 --> 01:22:02,673
Oh, let's hear what
it has to say, shall we?

1957
01:22:02,707 --> 01:22:07,478
  Uh, could everybody please
  pack up and get out,

1958
01:22:07,511 --> 01:22:09,646
 so ms. Bitterman
 can gut this place?

1959
01:22:09,679 --> 01:22:12,181
 Ms. Bitterman, this theater
 is not yours yet.

1960
01:22:12,215 --> 01:22:13,750
   [ All ]
   Yeah!

1961
01:22:13,783 --> 01:22:16,585
   Yeah! So get out,
   or I'll throw you out.

1962
01:22:16,618 --> 01:22:17,653
   Oh!

1963
01:22:17,685 --> 01:22:19,953
 This little piggy's
 feeling brave.

1964
01:22:19,987 --> 01:22:24,158
   And this little piggy's
   going to kick
   your skinny banking butt!

1965
01:22:24,190 --> 01:22:26,827
   Oh-- skinny.
   Thank you.

1966
01:22:26,859 --> 01:22:28,994
   It's too bad I can't
   say the same for you,

1967
01:22:29,028 --> 01:22:31,230
   Miss porky.

1968
01:22:31,262 --> 01:22:33,498
   [ Gasps ]
   Porky?

1969
01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:35,234
   Oh, here it comes.

1970
01:22:33,532 --> 01:22:35,234
   Oh! Oh! That does it.

1971
01:22:35,266 --> 01:22:37,501
   Hi-yah!

1972
01:22:37,534 --> 01:22:39,470
   - [ All ]
   Oh!
   - hmph!

1973
01:22:41,971 --> 01:22:44,742
   Oh, you did not just do that.

1974
01:22:45,675 --> 01:22:47,010
   [ Muppet ]
   Uh-oh.

1975
01:22:48,511 --> 01:22:51,847
   [ Screaming ]

1976
01:22:52,846 --> 01:22:54,215
   [ Shouting ]

1977
01:22:54,248 --> 01:22:58,685
 Ay! Ay! Ay! Ay-yah!

1978
01:22:58,719 --> 01:23:00,721
   Oh, I see.

1979
01:23:08,659 --> 01:23:10,828
   [ Muppets murmuring ]

1980
01:23:10,862 --> 01:23:12,997
   So you want
   a piece of me?

1981
01:23:13,029 --> 01:23:14,865
   [ Shouts ]

1982
01:23:14,899 --> 01:23:16,801
   [ Muppet ]
   Whoa. Go, piggy.

1983
01:23:16,833 --> 01:23:19,269
   Piggy, come on!

1984
01:23:19,301 --> 01:23:22,805
   I see you are very agile
   for a plus-size pig.

1985
01:23:19,301 --> 01:23:22,805
 [ Miss piggy grunting ]

1986
01:23:22,838 --> 01:23:25,006
   [ All gasping ]

1987
01:23:22,838 --> 01:23:25,006
   Oh, my goodness!

1988
01:23:25,039 --> 01:23:28,877
   And you will be
   very unattractive
   with a plus-size lip.

1989
01:23:28,909 --> 01:23:31,546
   I'll give you
   five bucks on the pig.

1990
01:23:28,909 --> 01:23:31,546
Oh, make that 10. [ Laughs ]

1991
01:23:33,046 --> 01:23:35,581
   [ Kermit ]
   Don't take that.
   Get her, piggy!

1992
01:23:35,614 --> 01:23:37,684
   [ Bitterman grunting ]

1993
01:23:37,716 --> 01:23:39,618
[ Singsongy ]
Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!

1994
01:23:39,652 --> 01:23:41,587
   - ow!
   - ooh!

1995
01:23:41,619 --> 01:23:43,555
   [ Waldorf ]
   That's not good.

1996
01:23:41,619 --> 01:23:43,555
   [ Statler ] that had to hurt.

1997
01:23:43,588 --> 01:23:45,623
   [ All ]
   Oh! Oh, my. Oh, my.

1998
01:23:45,657 --> 01:23:47,592
   [ Whimpers ]

1999
01:23:45,657 --> 01:23:47,592
 Kermie!

2000
01:23:47,625 --> 01:23:49,592
   Now listen.
   Everyone calm down.

2001
01:23:49,626 --> 01:23:51,695
  Violence won't solve anything.

2002
01:23:51,728 --> 01:23:53,764
   And ms. Bitterman
   may take our theater,

2003
01:23:53,796 --> 01:23:55,864
 but she can never touch
 the muppet theater
 in our hearts.

2004
01:23:55,898 --> 01:23:58,534
   Yes!

2005
01:23:55,898 --> 01:23:58,534
   That's right.

2006
01:23:58,568 --> 01:24:00,936
   Well, that's fortunate,
   because I don't want
   the theater in your hearts.

2007
01:24:00,969 --> 01:24:03,872
   I want the theater
   that exists in reality.

2008
01:24:03,904 --> 01:24:07,073
   Now if you all
   wouldn't mind, clear out!

2009
01:24:07,106 --> 01:24:10,609
   ♪ [ Scatting ]

2010
01:24:10,643 --> 01:24:13,179
 Look, everyone! Look!
 I got some good news, okay?

2011
01:24:13,212 --> 01:24:16,882
  Unless, of course,
  you're a sexy banker lady.
  Then it sucks, okay?

2012
01:24:16,914 --> 01:24:18,716
   Oh, I'm really worried.
   Pee-pee's--

2013
01:24:18,750 --> 01:24:20,085
   pepe.

2014
01:24:18,750 --> 01:24:20,085
   Pepe.

2015
01:24:20,118 --> 01:24:21,953
   <i> Pee-pee's</i> got some bad news.

2016
01:24:21,985 --> 01:24:23,755
   What, are we out of
   toenail polish?

2017
01:24:23,787 --> 01:24:25,622
   No.

2018
01:24:25,655 --> 01:24:27,024
   I took the monies
   you paid me...

2019
01:24:27,056 --> 01:24:30,693
And filed for
a special permit
with the city, okay?

2020
01:24:30,726 --> 01:24:34,663
   The muppet theater is now
   an official historical
   landmark, okay?

2021
01:24:34,697 --> 01:24:36,898
   - historical landmark?
   - wow!

2022
01:24:36,930 --> 01:24:39,134
Historical landmark?

2023
01:24:36,930 --> 01:24:39,134
   So are we!

2024
01:24:39,167 --> 01:24:40,869
   [ Laughing ]

2025
01:24:40,902 --> 01:24:44,038
   The theater can never
   be torn down or changed.

2026
01:24:44,070 --> 01:24:46,806
   It will always remain
   the muppet theater, okay?

2027
01:24:46,840 --> 01:24:48,975
   - no matter who owns it.
   - that's amazing!

2028
01:24:49,007 --> 01:24:50,609
   Yeah!

2029
01:24:50,643 --> 01:24:51,810
   Ah!

2030
01:24:51,844 --> 01:24:54,746
   Read it and weep, okay?

2031
01:24:54,779 --> 01:24:57,015
   Seriously,
   if you could start weeping,

2032
01:24:57,047 --> 01:24:58,849
   we'd all appreciate
   seeing this, okay?

2033
01:24:58,881 --> 01:25:01,652
Wow, pepe.
That was brave and selfless.

2034
01:25:01,685 --> 01:25:03,720
   <i> Sí, sí, sí.</i> it was.

2035
01:25:03,752 --> 01:25:05,822
   But, uh, when you can
   help friends...

2036
01:25:05,854 --> 01:25:08,123
   And get revenge on enemies,

2037
01:25:08,157 --> 01:25:11,226
   isn't that what christmas
   is all about, okay?

2038
01:25:11,259 --> 01:25:13,028
   [ Chuckling ]

2039
01:25:13,060 --> 01:25:15,063
   I can't believe this!

2040
01:25:15,095 --> 01:25:18,865
   How am I gonna make money
   off this junky building now?

2041
01:25:18,899 --> 01:25:21,835
   This is the worst
   christmas ever.

2042
01:25:21,868 --> 01:25:24,804
   Or is it the best christmas
   ever? Why, with an infusion
   of cash from you,

2043
01:25:24,837 --> 01:25:26,739
   we could add seats
   to the balcony--

2044
01:25:26,771 --> 01:25:27,872
   mee-mee-mee!

2045
01:25:26,771 --> 01:25:27,872
   Advertise--

2046
01:25:27,907 --> 01:25:31,775
 and then put on some really
 spankin' profitable shows.

2047
01:25:31,809 --> 01:25:33,078
   [ Makes sizzling noise ]

2048
01:25:31,809 --> 01:25:33,078
   No!

2049
01:25:33,110 --> 01:25:34,278
   [ Gasps ]

2050
01:25:34,311 --> 01:25:36,246
   No!

2051
01:25:36,279 --> 01:25:38,949
   I hate you "muffins"!

2052
01:25:38,981 --> 01:25:41,250
   Good lord.

2053
01:25:38,981 --> 01:25:41,250
   No!

2054
01:25:41,283 --> 01:25:43,920
   [ Piggy ]
   Ooh, ooh, ooh.

2055
01:25:43,953 --> 01:25:45,288
   No kidding.
   I was frightened.

2056
01:25:45,320 --> 01:25:48,923
   ♪ [ Humming ]

2057
01:25:45,320 --> 01:25:48,923
   Out of my way!

2058
01:25:48,957 --> 01:25:51,092
  Oh, and a merry humbug
  to you there, grumpy.

2059
01:25:48,957 --> 01:25:51,092
   Stupid muffins!

2060
01:25:51,125 --> 01:25:53,293
  This is absolutely
  ridiculous!

2061
01:25:51,125 --> 01:25:53,293
   Hey, uh--

2062
01:25:53,327 --> 01:25:56,096
   hey. We're all singin'
   christmas carols outside,
   and it's snowin', and--

2063
01:25:56,128 --> 01:25:57,930
   it's real pretty.
   Wanna come?

2064
01:25:57,963 --> 01:25:59,765
   [ All ]
   Yeah!

2065
01:25:59,798 --> 01:26:01,833
 [ Fozzie ]
 Come on. Come on. Let's go.

2066
01:26:01,867 --> 01:26:04,136
   Christmas carols.

2067
01:26:01,867 --> 01:26:04,136
   Come on.

2068
01:26:04,168 --> 01:26:06,804
   ♪We Wish You
   A merry christmas ♪

2069
01:26:06,837 --> 01:26:08,806
   ♪We Wish You
   A merry christmas ♪

2070
01:26:08,838 --> 01:26:10,807
   ♪We Wish You
   A merry christmas ♪

2071
01:26:10,841 --> 01:26:13,143
   ♪And A Happy New Year ♪

2072
01:26:13,176 --> 01:26:16,947
   ♪Good Tidings We Bring
   To you and your kin ♪

2073
01:26:16,979 --> 01:26:19,180
   ♪Good Tidings For Christmas ♪

2074
01:26:19,213 --> 01:26:22,850
   ♪And A Happy New Year ♪

2075
01:26:24,819 --> 01:26:26,087
   [ Whirs ]

2076
01:26:26,119 --> 01:26:28,322
   [ Gasps ]
   Heavens.

2077
01:26:28,354 --> 01:26:30,223
 This is our best year ever.

2078
01:26:31,858 --> 01:26:34,860
   Whoa. Merry christmas.

2079
01:26:31,858 --> 01:26:34,860
   [ Chuckling ]

2080
01:26:34,894 --> 01:26:37,063
   Someone up there
   is looking out for us.

2081
01:26:41,332 --> 01:26:43,934
   Amazing.

2082
01:26:43,966 --> 01:26:47,904
 I failed on my mission
 to get justice for kermit, yet
 everything managed to work out.

2083
01:26:47,938 --> 01:26:51,173
  Do you think maybe
  kermit never needed...

2084
01:26:51,207 --> 01:26:53,977
   Revenge or justice,
   or even the theater?

2085
01:26:54,810 --> 01:26:57,413
   Yeah.
   But what did he need?

2086
01:26:57,445 --> 01:27:00,014
   What do you think
   he needed?

2087
01:27:00,046 --> 01:27:03,317
   I asked you first.

2088
01:27:00,046 --> 01:27:03,317
  Yes, but I'm the boss.

2089
01:27:03,350 --> 01:27:06,019
   Yeah, but I don't know
   the answer.

2090
01:27:06,051 --> 01:27:10,021
   People just really
   need to know
   what matters in life,

2091
01:27:10,055 --> 01:27:13,726
and you opened kermit's eyes
and showed him
what he already had.

2092
01:27:13,759 --> 01:27:15,926
   People don't need
   my intervention.

2093
01:27:15,960 --> 01:27:18,797
   If people don't need
   your intervention, then...

2094
01:27:18,829 --> 01:27:21,398
   How come the salvation army
   ended up with all the money,

2095
01:27:21,430 --> 01:27:23,433
   the muppets got to
   keep their theater,

2096
01:27:23,466 --> 01:27:25,969
   and bitterman ended up with
   nothing except her own greed?

2097
01:27:27,136 --> 01:27:31,173
 Danny-l, I work
 in mysterious ways.

2098
01:27:31,206 --> 01:27:32,708
   [ Chuckles ]

2099
01:27:34,074 --> 01:27:36,110
   Well, on behalf of
   the muppets, thank you.

2100
01:27:51,222 --> 01:27:53,024
   ♪Everyone Matters ♪

2101
01:27:53,056 --> 01:27:54,925
 ♪Everyone Matters ♪

2102
01:27:54,958 --> 01:27:57,827
   ♪Everyone Matters ♪

2103
01:27:57,860 --> 01:28:00,963
   ♪Even The Weakest
   Of the meekest ♪

2104
01:28:00,997 --> 01:28:04,967
   ♪Can Change The Course
   Of history ♪

2105
01:28:05,000 --> 01:28:06,868
   ♪Everyone Matters ♪

2106
01:28:06,902 --> 01:28:08,235
   [ Kermit ]
   ♪Everyone Matters ♪

2107
01:28:08,269 --> 01:28:11,806
   ♪We're In This Together ♪

2108
01:28:11,838 --> 01:28:14,742
   ♪The World Would Be
   So different ♪

2109
01:28:14,774 --> 01:28:18,978
  ♪If There Never Was A Me ♪

2110
01:28:19,011 --> 01:28:21,815
   ♪Even You ♪

2111
01:28:22,847 --> 01:28:25,216
  [ Miss piggy ]
  ♪Even Me ♪

2112
01:28:26,283 --> 01:28:35,826
   [ Kermit ]
   ♪You And Me ♪