0 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000 1 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:04,402 [Sleigh Ride playing on car radio] 2 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:12,210 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,915 (Trudie) I'M NOT CRAZY. 4 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:20,019 I'M A LONG WAY FROM CRAZY. 5 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:25,232 DOING ONE CRAZY THING DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON CRAZY. 6 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,374 THOUGH I HAVE TO ADMIT THIS ISN'T HOW I EXPECTED 7 00:00:26,409 --> 00:00:29,119 TO BE SPENDING MY CHRISTMAS. 8 00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:30,521 AND I'M SURE IT'S NOT HOW DAVID MARTIN PLANNED 9 00:00:30,556 --> 00:00:32,589 ON SPENDING HIS. 10 00:00:32,624 --> 00:00:35,559 SO...YOU'VE BEEN WALKING FOR WHAT, ABOUT AN HOUR? 11 00:00:35,594 --> 00:00:37,502 AND YOU'VE GONE EXACTLY 12 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:40,238 1.8 MILES. 13 00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:42,282 THE NEAREST GAS STATION IS 20 MILES AWAY. 14 00:00:42,317 --> 00:00:43,158 YOU DO THE MATH. 15 00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,562 LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME BACK TO THE HOUSE? 16 00:00:47,597 --> 00:00:48,914 WE'LL MAKE SOME HOT CHOCOLATE, OKAY? 17 00:00:57,774 --> 00:00:59,591 ♪ OUR CHEEKS ARE NICE AND ROSY ♪ 18 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,476 ARE YOU OKAY? 19 00:01:01,511 --> 00:01:04,321 NOTHING SMART TO SAY? 20 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,505 IS YOUR FACE FROZEN? 21 00:01:05,540 --> 00:01:08,383 YOU... 22 00:01:08,418 --> 00:01:10,911 ARE... 23 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,980 THE DEVIL. 24 00:01:14,016 --> 00:01:15,640 ♪ IT'S LOVELY WEATHER ♪ 25 00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:19,094 ♪ FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU ♪ 26 00:01:19,129 --> 00:01:25,784 ♪ DING A LING-A-LING DING DONG DING ♪ ♪ 27 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,453 [alarm beeping] 28 00:01:32,367 --> 00:01:33,166 [silences alarm] 29 00:01:35,912 --> 00:01:38,646 THE DAY STARTED OUT LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY. 30 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:42,851 WHICH LATELY IS NOT NECESSARILY A GOOD THING. 31 00:01:42,886 --> 00:01:45,712 ♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪ 32 00:01:45,747 --> 00:01:47,639 ♪ SEEMS LIKE EVERYWHERE YOU GO ♪ 33 00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:49,849 ♪ PEOPLE SEARCHING FOR AN EXPLANATION ♪ 34 00:01:49,885 --> 00:01:52,602 ♪ NEED A REASON, NEED A PLAN ♪ 35 00:01:52,637 --> 00:01:54,680 ♪ ALWAYS HAVE TO KNOW THE DESTINATION ♪ 36 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,848 ♪ ONE THING I KNOW FOR SURE ♪ 37 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,801 ♪ GOTTA MAKE THE MOST OF THE SITUATION ♪ 38 00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:00,768 ♪ SETTLE DOWN AND TAKE IT SLOW ♪ 39 00:02:00,804 --> 00:02:04,756 ♪ 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHERE THE FLOW IS GOING ♪ 40 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,499 ♪ YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ♪ 41 00:02:06,534 --> 00:02:08,868 ♪ LIFE'S NOT EASY ♪ 42 00:02:08,903 --> 00:02:13,022 ♪ THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS CRAZY... ♪ 43 00:02:13,058 --> 00:02:16,417 [cell phone rings] 44 00:02:16,453 --> 00:02:17,869 ♪ AND REACH UP TO THE SKY ♪ 45 00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,488 ♪ BELIEVE YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL ♪ 46 00:02:20,523 --> 00:02:23,174 ♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪ 47 00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:24,776 ♪ THERE'S NO MOUNTAIN YOU CAN'T CLIMB ♪ 48 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,427 OH, CRAP! 49 00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:27,812 TRUDIE, THAT WORD IS SO TACKY. 50 00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:28,655 (Trudie) HI, MOM. 51 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,290 HI, HONEY. 52 00:02:30,325 --> 00:02:31,199 WE'RE JUST GETTING ORGANIZED HERE. 53 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:32,567 WE HAD TO BRING EVERYTHING. 54 00:02:32,602 --> 00:02:33,852 YOU NEVER KNOW WITH A RENTAL. 55 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,053 SO YOU HAVE DIRECTIONS AND EVERYTHING? 56 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,554 I DO. 57 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,731 I'M GOING TO BE DOING SEATING ARRANGEMENTS FOR DINNER. 58 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,767 SO I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE 59 00:02:40,802 --> 00:02:42,519 THAT NICK IS STILL COMING WITH YOU. 60 00:02:42,554 --> 00:02:44,496 OF COURSE HE IS. 61 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,498 COCKTAILS AT 6:00 SHARP. 62 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,000 I KNOW, MOM. 63 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:51,069 [muted ring] 64 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:53,230 WE ARE SO EXCITED TO MEET HIM, HONEY. 65 00:02:53,265 --> 00:02:54,831 IT'S GOING TO BE A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS. 66 00:02:54,867 --> 00:02:55,648 YOU THINK HE COULD BE THE ONE? 67 00:02:55,684 --> 00:02:57,459 I DON'T KNOW, MOM. 68 00:02:57,494 --> 00:02:59,511 OH. 69 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,513 YEAH, MAYBE HE COULD. 70 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,564 LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. 71 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,724 I GOTTA GET READY FOR THE INTERVIEW. 72 00:03:04,759 --> 00:03:06,342 OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 73 00:03:06,378 --> 00:03:07,677 WEAR YOUR CHRISTMAS DRESS. 74 00:03:07,713 --> 00:03:09,704 IT'S A GREAT COLOR ON YOU, 75 00:03:09,739 --> 00:03:11,697 AND THE STYLE REALLY SLIMS YOUR HIPS. 76 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,742 MOM, NO, I'M ALREADY DRESSED! 77 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,027 AND PLEASE, FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR, 78 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,712 NO MORE PINK SWEATERS, PLEASE! 79 00:03:17,747 --> 00:03:19,547 HONEY, PINK IS THE BEST COLOR ON YOU 80 00:03:19,582 --> 00:03:21,158 WITH YOUR BLUE EYES AND-- 81 00:03:21,193 --> 00:03:22,192 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT FITS ANYMORE. 82 00:03:22,227 --> 00:03:23,877 I AM TELLING YOU YOU HAVE TO DRESS FOR THE JOB... 83 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,972 OKAY...OKAY...OKAY! 84 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:28,364 HERE, HONEY, TALK TO YOUR DAD. 85 00:03:28,399 --> 00:03:29,407 NO, NO, NO, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK TO-- 86 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:30,725 (Dad) HEY, HEY! HI, DAD. 87 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,002 LISTEN, YOU TOLD MR. PORTNOY 88 00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:34,921 THAT I DON'T HAVE ANY SALES EXPERIENCE, RIGHT? 89 00:03:34,956 --> 00:03:35,888 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU SOLD HIM LEMONADE. 90 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,191 I SOLD HIM LEMONADE WHEN I WAS TEN, 91 00:03:38,226 --> 00:03:39,676 WHEN HE CALLED ME "LITTLE POOTIE." 92 00:03:39,711 --> 00:03:41,695 LISTEN, NEVER TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 93 00:03:41,730 --> 00:03:44,514 AND DO NOT LEAVE THAT ROOM UNTIL THE JOB IS YOURS, OKAY? 94 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,425 OKAY, WELL, WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM I'VE BEEN DOING? 95 00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,834 WELL, I DIDN'T. 96 00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:49,603 I JUST SAID YOU'RE A LATE BLOOMER, 97 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:50,562 BUT THAT YOU'RE READY TO GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER. 98 00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,964 SO YOU MAKE ME PROUD. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. 99 00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:54,132 LOVE YA, MWAH! OKAY. 100 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,158 DRIVE SAFE, OKAY? BYE. 101 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,277 LOVE YOU. 102 00:03:57,312 --> 00:03:58,978 I CAN FEEL IT, HONEY. 103 00:03:59,013 --> 00:04:00,664 I THINK THINGS ARE TURNING AROUND FOR YOU. 104 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:03,050 OKAY. BYE, MOM. 105 00:04:03,085 --> 00:04:05,243 OH, HONEY, HONEY, BE SURE TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR HAIR. 106 00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:07,353 OH, MY GOD. 107 00:04:07,388 --> 00:04:10,072 OH, NO! 108 00:04:10,108 --> 00:04:11,291 THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! 109 00:04:11,327 --> 00:04:13,176 [screams] 110 00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,779 (Trudie) YEP, THE DAY STARTED OUT LIKE ANY OTHER. 111 00:04:15,814 --> 00:04:18,156 EXCEPT IT WAS ALMOST CHRISTMAS. 112 00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:20,992 AND THE CONSTANT PRESSURE FROM MY PARENTS 113 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:23,061 TO GET A REAL JOB AND A SERIOUS BOYFRIEND 114 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,863 WAS TAKING ITS TOLL. 115 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,156 IT WAS ENOUGH TO DRIVE ANYONE NUTS. 116 00:04:26,191 --> 00:04:30,652 BUT AREN'T MOST OF US JUST A HAIR AWAY FROM CRAZY ANYWAY? 117 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,579 I THINK DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SANITY AND INSANITY 118 00:04:32,614 --> 00:04:34,765 OFTEN COMES DOWN TO TIMING. 119 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,308 [tires squeal] 120 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:37,934 [glass shatters] 121 00:04:37,969 --> 00:04:39,119 OH! 122 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:41,154 YOU BITCH! 123 00:04:41,190 --> 00:04:42,230 [horn honks] 124 00:04:49,731 --> 00:04:50,363 [elevator pings] 125 00:04:56,355 --> 00:04:58,338 HI, TRUDIE CHANDLER. I HAVE A-- YOU'RE LATE. 126 00:04:58,373 --> 00:05:00,681 I KNOW, I'M SORRY. HE CAN'T SEE YOU NOW. 127 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,308 OH, NO, NO, I KNOW I'M A LITTLE LATE, 128 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,136 BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 129 00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:05,412 YOU SEE, MY PARENTS AND MR. PORTNOY ARE NEIGHBORS. 130 00:05:05,447 --> 00:05:06,938 SO MY DAD SET THIS APPOINTMENT, 131 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,140 SO IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT I SEE HIM. 132 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:11,142 IF IT WAS SO IMPORTANT, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON TIME. 133 00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:13,044 HE'S IN WITH HIS NEXT INTERVIEW. 134 00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:14,754 NO. 135 00:05:14,789 --> 00:05:16,131 NO, HE CAN'T BE. 136 00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:17,724 NO, I CAN'T MISS THIS INTERVIEW. 137 00:05:22,297 --> 00:05:23,396 DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. 138 00:05:29,212 --> 00:05:31,529 MR. PORTNOY, IT'S ME! LITTLE POOTIE! 139 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,698 FROM THE CORNER! COME ON! 140 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,766 COME ON, YOU KNOW I CAN SELL. 141 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,235 I MADE MORE MONEY 142 00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:38,111 THAN ANY OF THOSE OTHER GIRLS ON THE STREET! 143 00:05:38,146 --> 00:05:40,180 WE HAVE A CODE RED UP HERE. 144 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:44,526 [grunting] 145 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:47,045 BUT THINGS ARE FINALLY TURNING AROUND FOR ME. 146 00:05:58,374 --> 00:05:59,941 OH! HOW'D IT GO? 147 00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:02,351 I'M PRETTY SURE I DIDN'T GET IT. 148 00:06:02,387 --> 00:06:03,278 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 149 00:06:03,313 --> 00:06:06,264 I DON'T PAY YOU TO CHITCHAT WITH YOUR FRIEND, OKAY? 150 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:06,948 GET TO WORK OR YOU'LL BE OUT IN THE GUTTER. 151 00:06:06,984 --> 00:06:09,042 SHUT UP, TAJ. 152 00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:11,244 YOU'RE GONNA FIRE ME LIKE I'M GONNA SLEEP WITH YOU. 153 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,662 HE WOULD NOT KEEP HIS GREAT-GRANDFATHER'S GUN HERE 154 00:06:12,697 --> 00:06:17,341 IF HE KNEW HOW CLOSE I COME TO KILLING HIM EVERY DAY. 155 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,444 OH, MY GOD. UGH, I LEFT IT IN TOO LONG. 156 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,164 MY MOM'S ALWAYS COMPLAINING THAT MY HAIR HANGS IN MY FACE. 157 00:06:22,199 --> 00:06:25,483 OH, MY GOD. 158 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,394 IT'S MY CHRISTMAS DRESS. MY MOM GOT IT FOR ME. 159 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,380 TAJ IS REALLY INTO CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR. 160 00:06:30,415 --> 00:06:31,789 BUT HE'S HINDU. 161 00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:33,433 PSSH. 162 00:06:33,469 --> 00:06:36,477 HOW DO I LOOK? 163 00:06:36,513 --> 00:06:39,222 OH, SWEETIE. 164 00:06:39,257 --> 00:06:42,575 OH, LUCY, I COMPLETELY BLEW THE INTERVIEW. 165 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:43,568 I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO GO HOME TODAY. 166 00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,362 THERE'S GONNA BE NOWHERE TO HIDE. 167 00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,297 I MEAN, MY MOM WANTED THIS TO BE A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS, 168 00:06:47,332 --> 00:06:49,649 SO SHE RENTED A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. 169 00:06:49,684 --> 00:06:51,334 WE'RE GONNA BE TRAPPED LIKE THE SHINING. 170 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,627 I'M SORRY. 171 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,305 I'D OFFER TO COME WITH YOU, 172 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:56,489 BUT STEVE AND I ARE HAVING OUR FIRST 173 00:06:56,525 --> 00:06:57,790 CHRISTMAS ALONE TOGETHER. 174 00:06:57,826 --> 00:06:59,650 THAT'S OKAY. 175 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:00,251 I STILL HAVE ONE MORE CHANCE FOR SURVIVAL. 176 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:01,761 NICK'S COMING WITH ME. 177 00:07:01,797 --> 00:07:02,621 TABLE TWO WANTS THEIR CHECK. TABLE TWO. 178 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,330 WHAT? 179 00:07:04,366 --> 00:07:05,982 THAT'S A LITTLE FAST, ISN'T IT? 180 00:07:06,017 --> 00:07:07,533 NO, IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF MONTHS. 181 00:07:07,569 --> 00:07:09,001 BESIDES, I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER THESE PEOPLE. 182 00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,820 NO HUSBAND. NO GRANDCHILDREN. 183 00:07:10,855 --> 00:07:11,613 MY DAD ALREADY THINKS I'M A LESBIAN. 184 00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:13,873 SO YOU'RE USING NICK TO GET YOUR PARENTS OFF YOUR BACK. 185 00:07:13,908 --> 00:07:15,867 YES--NO! 186 00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,143 HE'S JUST GREAT AT FIRST IMPRESSIONS. 187 00:07:17,178 --> 00:07:19,204 MY PARENTS ARE GONNA LOVE HIM. 188 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,005 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE AGAINST HIM ANYWAY. 189 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,590 I GUESS ELITIST JACKASSES AREN'T MY TYPE. 190 00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:24,142 THEY'RE NOT YOURS EITHER. 191 00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:25,068 LOOK, SO HIS FAMILY OWNS BANKS. 192 00:07:25,103 --> 00:07:27,712 WHAT'S WRONG WITH WEALTHY AND SUCCESSFUL FOR A CHANGE? 193 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,839 IT'S EASY TO BE WEALTHY AND SUCCESSFUL 194 00:07:29,874 --> 00:07:31,874 IF YOU'RE BORN INTO WEALTH AND HANDED SUCCESS. 195 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,151 WELL, HE'S COMING TO PICK ME UP AT 2:00, 196 00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:34,485 SO CAN YOU PLEASE TRY TO CONTROL 197 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,121 THE CHRONIC BITCH-ITIS, PLEASE? 198 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,573 CHECK, CHECK, CHECK. TABLE TWO, CHECK, HURRY UP! 199 00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:44,237 I SAID I WANTED HOT FUDGE, YOU CHOWDERHEAD. 200 00:07:44,272 --> 00:07:46,389 NICE. 201 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,166 (Nick) EXCUSE ME. 202 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,430 WHEN ARE YOU GONNA QUIT THIS HEINOUS JOB? 203 00:07:54,465 --> 00:07:55,965 OH, YOU'RE HERE, YES! 204 00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:59,811 OH, MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 205 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:01,888 BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I WAS TRYING 206 00:08:01,923 --> 00:08:02,630 NOT TO ATTRACT ATTENTION FROM MY PARENTS. 207 00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:05,033 YEAH, ABOUT THAT. 208 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,376 I THINK I'M GONNA PASS 209 00:08:06,411 --> 00:08:07,852 ON THE WHOLE HOLIDAY SONG AND DANCE. 210 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:08,820 WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 211 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,446 WELL, JUST MEETING YOUR PARENTS 212 00:08:10,481 --> 00:08:11,814 IS A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL, 213 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:12,732 AND I DON'T THINK WE'RE THERE YET. 214 00:08:12,768 --> 00:08:14,868 OH, UH-HUH, OKAY, OKAY, UH-HUH. 215 00:08:14,903 --> 00:08:15,927 WELL, DO YOU THINK THAT MAYBE 216 00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:18,796 IN LIKE THE NEXT TEN MINUTES WE COULD GET TO THAT LEVEL? 217 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:19,455 BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE EXPECTING YOU 218 00:08:19,490 --> 00:08:21,416 TO COME HOME WITH ME. 219 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,001 I DON'T THINK WE'RE EVER GONNA GET THERE, SWEETHEART. 220 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:26,146 YOU CAN'T BAIL ON ME NOW, NICK. 221 00:08:26,181 --> 00:08:28,848 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, COCKTAILS ARE AT 6:00 SHARP! 222 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,492 I NEED YOU. 223 00:08:30,527 --> 00:08:32,927 YEAH, THE NEEDY THING? NOT A TURN ON. 224 00:08:32,962 --> 00:08:35,013 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 225 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,238 THIS IS--THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! 226 00:08:36,274 --> 00:08:37,991 WHY DID YOU TELL ME 227 00:08:38,026 --> 00:08:38,933 YOU WERE GONNA COME HOME WITH ME FOR CHRISTMAS 228 00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:40,602 IF YOU WERE NEVER GONNA DO IT? 229 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:43,805 BECAUSE I KNEW THAT THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR. 230 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:47,641 YOU KNOW, AND WE HADN'T HAD SEX YET, SO... 231 00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:49,719 HEH. YEAH, SEE YOU LATER. 232 00:08:49,754 --> 00:08:53,247 WAIT! 233 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,566 IF YOU WALK OUT THAT DOOR NOW, 234 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,676 WE ARE SO OVER. 235 00:08:57,712 --> 00:09:00,739 UH...YEAH. 236 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,073 OKAY. 237 00:09:07,331 --> 00:09:09,638 [bell rings] 238 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:10,798 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD. 239 00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:12,467 OH, MY GOD. 240 00:09:12,502 --> 00:09:13,576 HEY, WHAT'S UP? I'M WAITING FOR JESSICA. 241 00:09:13,611 --> 00:09:15,778 RIGHT OVER THERE. 242 00:09:15,813 --> 00:09:17,497 DUDE, OF COURSE I'M SURE. 243 00:09:17,532 --> 00:09:18,965 SO WISH ME LUCK, OKAY? THANK YOU. 244 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,800 BYE. 245 00:09:26,258 --> 00:09:27,823 HEY, HEY, HEY! WAKE UP! 246 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:28,391 COME ON, HURRY UP. CUSTOMER, TABLE TEN! 247 00:09:28,426 --> 00:09:29,826 GO, GO, GO! 248 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,060 TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH. 249 00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:37,133 WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU? 250 00:09:37,168 --> 00:09:41,121 UH, I'LL TAKE A CHEESEBURGER AND FRIES 251 00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:44,115 AND A CAESAR SALAD, PLEASE. DRESSING ON THE SIDE. 252 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,119 DO YOU NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN? 253 00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:51,789 [bell rings repeatedly] 254 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,883 [overlapping voices] 255 00:10:02,919 --> 00:10:04,702 MM, THIS IS GOOD, THIS IS GOOD! 256 00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:06,688 (Dad) SAID YOU WERE A LATE BLOOMER. 257 00:10:06,723 --> 00:10:07,922 (Trudie) YOU CAN'T BAIL ON ME NOW, NICK! 258 00:10:07,957 --> 00:10:11,584 (Katherine) COCKTAILS ARE AT 6:00. 259 00:10:11,619 --> 00:10:12,961 ACTUALLY IT WAS MY FATHER'S. 260 00:10:12,996 --> 00:10:14,470 (Nick) 'CAUSE I KNEW THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO HEAR, 261 00:10:14,505 --> 00:10:15,864 AND WE HADN'T HAD SEX YET. 262 00:10:15,899 --> 00:10:19,008 I DON'T THINK WE'RE EVER GONNA GET THERE, SWEETHEART. 263 00:10:19,043 --> 00:10:22,636 YOU OKAY? WHERE'S NICK? 264 00:10:22,672 --> 00:10:24,422 OH, MERRY CHRISTMAS. 265 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,049 [cell phone ringing] 266 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:27,992 HEY, WHAT IS THAT RINGING? 267 00:10:30,071 --> 00:10:34,641 WHAT IS THAT? 268 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,059 HELLO, MOM. 269 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,785 TRUDIE? I KNEW IT. 270 00:10:37,821 --> 00:10:39,929 YOU HAVEN'T LEFT YET, HAVE YOU? I'M SORRY, MOM. 271 00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:41,380 I SAID 6:00. 272 00:10:41,416 --> 00:10:42,965 HONEY, WHAT PART OF THAT 273 00:10:43,001 --> 00:10:43,900 DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? 274 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:46,035 YOU KNOW, TRUDIE, 275 00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:47,437 THE ENTIRE WORLD CAN MANAGE TO BE ON TIME. 276 00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:48,713 WHY CAN'T YOU DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME? 277 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:51,299 ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN CHRISTMAS? 278 00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:52,458 TRUDIE? 279 00:10:52,494 --> 00:10:55,445 WE'RE LEAVING NOW. 280 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:56,638 NICK'S BRINGING DINNER CLOTHES, RIGHT? 281 00:10:56,673 --> 00:10:59,490 YEAH, HE'S WEARING A BLUE BLAZER, 282 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:01,467 DRESS SHIRT, PINK TIE. 283 00:11:01,502 --> 00:11:03,077 DID YOU PLAN THE MATCHING PINK? 284 00:11:03,112 --> 00:11:04,779 NO, WE DIDN'T PLAN IT. GET IN THE CAR. 285 00:11:12,397 --> 00:11:14,297 EXCUSE ME. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO THE BATHROOM. 286 00:11:14,332 --> 00:11:15,181 OH, THIS ISN'T THE RESTROOM? 287 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,425 YOU'RE COMING WITH ME. 288 00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:20,278 NO, I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM. 289 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,622 UH, LOOK, I'M NOT SURE WHAT KIND OF 290 00:11:22,657 --> 00:11:24,516 GOVERNMENT-SPONSORED WORK PROGRAM 291 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:25,933 YOU'RE A PART OF, BUT I-- [gun cocks] 292 00:11:25,968 --> 00:11:27,535 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 293 00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:29,212 IT'S A GUN. ARE YOU SURE? 294 00:11:29,247 --> 00:11:30,721 YEAH, IT'S A GUN. 295 00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:32,181 IT WAS USED TO FIGHT THE BRITISH. 296 00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:33,558 MAYBE YOU HEARD OF A LITTLE THING 297 00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,568 CALLED THE INDIAN WAR OF INDEPENDENCE, 1857. 298 00:11:35,603 --> 00:11:37,245 YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? 299 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,563 [grunting] MOVE IT! 300 00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:40,231 HEY, WATCH IT! 301 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,159 AAH--UNH! 302 00:11:53,062 --> 00:11:55,121 OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! 303 00:12:00,695 --> 00:12:02,795 WAKE UP. WAKE UP! 304 00:12:05,275 --> 00:12:08,176 [grunting] 305 00:12:08,211 --> 00:12:10,403 YOU, BLITZEN. 306 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,146 EXCUSE YOU? 307 00:12:12,181 --> 00:12:14,040 I'M LOOKING FOR MY BOYFRIEND. 308 00:12:14,075 --> 00:12:16,209 HANDSOME, NICE DIMPLES. 309 00:12:16,244 --> 00:12:18,827 HANDSOME, NICE DIMPLES. DON'T SEE HIM. 310 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:20,779 MAYBE THIS IS HIS WAY OF DUMPING YOU. 311 00:12:20,815 --> 00:12:22,231 OH! 312 00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:30,189 ♪ YOU SAY I GOTTA LEARN A LESSON TODAY ♪ 313 00:12:30,224 --> 00:12:32,167 ♪ YEAH, HEY, HEY, HEY ♪ 314 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,485 ♪ YOU SAY I NEED A GOOD PUNCH IN THE FACE ♪ 315 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,295 ♪ YEAH, HEY, HEY, HEY ♪ 316 00:12:36,331 --> 00:12:37,646 UNH. 317 00:12:37,682 --> 00:12:39,924 HI. HUH? 318 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,576 HI? 319 00:12:41,611 --> 00:12:43,886 HOW'S YOUR HEAD? 320 00:12:43,921 --> 00:12:45,004 HOW ABOUT I TAKE THE BLINDFOLD OFF NOW? 321 00:12:45,039 --> 00:12:46,172 HOW'D THAT BE? 322 00:12:49,844 --> 00:12:51,344 HI. 323 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:52,762 HELLO. 324 00:12:54,432 --> 00:12:57,675 [straining] 325 00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,561 LOOK, I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S GOING ON 326 00:13:00,597 --> 00:13:02,621 OR WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME, 327 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:06,517 BUT THIS PLAN DOESN'T SEEM VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT. 328 00:13:06,552 --> 00:13:07,952 LET'S FACE IT. I'M A GUY. 329 00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:09,470 AND SOONER OR LATER, I WILL OVERPOWER YOU. 330 00:13:09,506 --> 00:13:10,963 YEAH, GOOD POINT. 331 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,549 UNLESS YOU KNOCK YOURSELF OUT FIRST. 332 00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,034 OR I SHOOT YOU. [gun cocks] 333 00:13:18,073 --> 00:13:20,598 YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE GIRL. 334 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,791 PROBABLY NOTHING A LITTLE LITHIUM COULDN'T FIX. 335 00:13:22,827 --> 00:13:25,102 COME ON, YOU'RE NOT REALLY 336 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,387 GONNA SHOOT ME WITH THAT THING. 337 00:13:26,423 --> 00:13:27,422 [squeaking] 338 00:13:27,457 --> 00:13:29,832 AAH! 339 00:13:29,867 --> 00:13:32,443 AAH! OH, MY GOD! 340 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,178 OH, MY GOD! 341 00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,058 SORRY. 342 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,147 [soft rock playing on car radio] 343 00:13:53,182 --> 00:13:57,076 ♪ ♪ 344 00:13:57,112 --> 00:13:58,770 (Trudie) SO THIS IS THE DEAL. 345 00:13:58,805 --> 00:13:59,970 YOU'RE COMING HOME WITH ME TO SPEND CHRISTMAS 346 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,097 WITH MY FAMILY AS MY BOYFRIEND NICK, 347 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,949 WHO UNFORTUNATELY COULDN'T MAKE IT. 348 00:14:03,985 --> 00:14:06,377 I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT, LOONEY TUNES. 349 00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:07,703 YOU DON'T EXACTLY HAVE A CHOICE, DWAYNE. 350 00:14:07,738 --> 00:14:11,765 IT'S DAVID, AND... 351 00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:13,175 OH! 352 00:14:13,211 --> 00:14:15,795 YOUR BOYFRIEND DUMPED YOU. 353 00:14:15,830 --> 00:14:17,346 NO, I TOLD YOU. HE COULDN'T MAKE IT. 354 00:14:17,381 --> 00:14:19,598 RIGHT. 355 00:14:19,634 --> 00:14:21,551 YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE HAIRY LADY 356 00:14:21,586 --> 00:14:23,519 MAN-HATER TYPES WHO'S BEEN REJECTED 357 00:14:23,554 --> 00:14:24,820 TIME AFTER TIME, 358 00:14:24,855 --> 00:14:26,681 AND NOW YOU'RE TAKING IT OUT 359 00:14:26,716 --> 00:14:27,790 ON AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER. 360 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,067 WHAT? NO, I'M NOT! 361 00:14:42,807 --> 00:14:44,824 [engine turns off] 362 00:14:44,859 --> 00:14:47,059 GAS, GAS STATION. 363 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,819 GREEN AND WHITE SIGN, GREEN AND WHITE. 364 00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:51,922 HEY, YOU KNOW THERE'S NO WAY 365 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,483 YOU'RE GONNA PULL THIS OFF, RIGHT? 366 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,167 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, 367 00:14:55,203 --> 00:14:56,603 HOLD THE GUN ON ME DURING CHRISTMAS DINNER? 368 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,120 THE SECOND I GET TO YOUR HOUSE AND TELL YOUR FAMILY 369 00:14:58,155 --> 00:15:00,531 HOW DEMENTED YOU ARE-- HEY! 370 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,941 HEY, THAT'S GETTING PERSONAL. 371 00:15:01,976 --> 00:15:03,101 HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 372 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,903 NO CELL PHONE? 373 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:09,248 IT'S IN MY COAT. AT THE DINER. 374 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:12,193 WHERE I LEFT IT BEFORE I WAS KIDNAPPED! 375 00:15:18,493 --> 00:15:20,075 [straining] 376 00:15:20,111 --> 00:15:21,669 MAN, WHAT IS THIS STUFF MADE OF? 377 00:15:21,705 --> 00:15:23,520 [bell rings] 378 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:24,713 OH, HELLO. 379 00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:27,107 HI. 380 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:29,377 [clerk chuckling] 381 00:15:33,983 --> 00:15:37,176 UH, JUST $10 WORTH AND THIS. 382 00:15:39,389 --> 00:15:43,566 AH. 383 00:15:43,601 --> 00:15:45,718 [cash register beeping] 384 00:15:45,753 --> 00:15:47,628 THERE YOU GO. 385 00:15:47,663 --> 00:15:50,848 I USUALLY PUMP THE GAS FOR THE PRETTY LADIES. 386 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:53,417 OH, PLEASE, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY. 387 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,419 YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO DENY AN OLD MAN 388 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,363 ONE OF THE FEW PLEASURES HE HAS LEFT. 389 00:15:57,398 --> 00:15:58,964 OH, NO, REALLY! 390 00:15:59,000 --> 00:15:59,741 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 391 00:15:59,776 --> 00:16:00,883 I CAN HANDLE IT. 392 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:02,076 (clerk) WHOA! 393 00:16:02,112 --> 00:16:03,702 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, SWEETHEART? 394 00:16:03,738 --> 00:16:06,355 UH, THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND. 395 00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:07,648 I'M SURPRISING HIM WITH A WEEKEND IN THE WOODS. 396 00:16:07,683 --> 00:16:09,909 YOU KNOW, THE WILD KIND OF WEEKEND. 397 00:16:09,944 --> 00:16:12,036 THE "TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN" KIND. 398 00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:13,579 YOU BETTER COME WITH ME, YOUNG LADY. 399 00:16:13,614 --> 00:16:15,464 I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME. 400 00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:27,435 [pump ringing] 401 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,008 THESE ARE ON THE HOUSE, HONEY. 402 00:16:35,044 --> 00:16:38,646 OH! OH, THANKS. 403 00:16:38,681 --> 00:16:41,048 YEAH. 404 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,108 WELL, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, 405 00:16:42,143 --> 00:16:43,175 OR I'LL COME BACK FOR YOU NEXT. 406 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,910 [chuckling] 407 00:16:50,567 --> 00:16:53,769 OKAY. 408 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,629 SO...THIS KIDNAPPING 409 00:16:55,664 --> 00:16:58,106 JUST GOT A LITTLE BIT MORE PROFESSIONAL. 410 00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,317 (David) YOU'RE KIDDING. 411 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,968 [straining] 412 00:17:06,116 --> 00:17:08,968 AND MORE COMFY TOO, RIGHT? 413 00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:12,188 AND JUST SLIGHTLY MORE HUMILIATING. 414 00:17:12,223 --> 00:17:13,906 [engine starts] 415 00:17:13,941 --> 00:17:14,899 LUCKY LITTLE BASTARD. 416 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,404 [chuckles] 417 00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:27,403 [soft rock playing on radio] 418 00:17:27,438 --> 00:17:30,222 ♪ ♪ 419 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,842 LOOK, I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR EARLIER 420 00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:35,727 FOR RAISING MY VOICE AND FOR... 421 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:38,255 YOU KNOW, SHOOTING NEAR YOUR...MANHOOD. 422 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,219 BEEF JERKY? 423 00:17:45,989 --> 00:17:47,673 THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY KIND. 424 00:17:47,708 --> 00:17:50,351 OKAY, SO I THINK WE SHOULD SHARE 425 00:17:50,386 --> 00:17:52,019 A FEW IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT EACH OTHER. 426 00:17:52,055 --> 00:17:55,289 LET ME GUESS. UM... 427 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:56,974 YOU'RE SOME SORT OF A VICE PRESIDENT 428 00:17:57,009 --> 00:18:01,678 OF A--A COMPANY YOUR FATHER OWNS. 429 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,231 OKAY, THAT'S A YES. 430 00:18:04,266 --> 00:18:06,075 UM... 431 00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:07,976 YOUR PARENTS BOUGHT YOUR FIRST HOUSE. 432 00:18:08,012 --> 00:18:10,971 YOU SAIL AND GOLF. 433 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:14,124 I'M GUESSING A 14 HANDICAP. 434 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,360 AND YOU'RE PROBABLY SOME SORT OF 435 00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,504 A ZETA BETA BETA SCHMETA. 436 00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:22,783 OKAY, YES, YES, AND YES. 437 00:18:22,819 --> 00:18:25,102 I'M A TEN HANDICAP. 438 00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,520 OH, HOW GREAT FOR YOU. 439 00:18:26,555 --> 00:18:29,190 WELL, I THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY 440 00:18:29,225 --> 00:18:30,925 I'VE LOST MY JOB AT TAJ'S DINER DELUXE. 441 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,218 I LIVE IN A CRAPPY LOFT DOWNTOWN. 442 00:18:32,253 --> 00:18:34,086 I DON'T GOLF. 443 00:18:34,121 --> 00:18:35,479 YEAH, THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP. 444 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,416 [engine turns off] 445 00:18:55,451 --> 00:18:57,743 UGH. 446 00:18:57,778 --> 00:19:00,337 OKAY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 447 00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:10,138 [Nutcracker Suite playing] 448 00:19:10,174 --> 00:19:15,394 [front door opens and closes] 449 00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:17,905 (Katherine) OOH, THERE SHE IS! 450 00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:22,443 LOOK WHO'S HERE! OH, MY BABY, OH! 451 00:19:22,478 --> 00:19:23,978 MOM, DON'T CRY. 452 00:19:24,013 --> 00:19:25,646 LET ME LOOK AT YOU-- OH, MY GOSH! 453 00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:27,097 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR? 454 00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,540 YOU LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE ACTRESSES 455 00:19:28,575 --> 00:19:29,875 IN A PORNOGRAPHIC MOVIE. 456 00:19:29,910 --> 00:19:30,659 I HAVE PORN STAR HAIR? 457 00:19:30,694 --> 00:19:32,569 HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A PORN STAR LOOKS LIKE? 458 00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:34,196 TRUDIE! 459 00:19:34,231 --> 00:19:35,547 OH, BUT LET ME LOOK AT THE DRESS. 460 00:19:35,582 --> 00:19:37,098 OH, IT LOOKS GORGEOUS. 461 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,001 WHAT DO YOU THINK, RICHARD? 462 00:19:39,037 --> 00:19:40,928 I THINK IT'S TOO TIGHT. HI, DAD. 463 00:19:40,963 --> 00:19:42,896 SO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TODAY? 464 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:45,099 I DON'T KNOW. I WAS LATE-- 465 00:19:45,134 --> 00:19:46,241 MR. PORTNOY DID THIS AS A FAVOR. 466 00:19:46,276 --> 00:19:48,085 YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S A REFLECTION ON ME. 467 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,870 I KNOW, AND I'M SORRY-- I'M SORRY. 468 00:19:49,905 --> 00:19:51,121 COULD WE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS NOW? 469 00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:52,581 I DON'T WANT TO RUIN CHRISTMAS 470 00:19:52,616 --> 00:19:53,641 BY ALL THIS NEGATIVE TALK. 471 00:19:53,676 --> 00:19:54,784 WHERE'S NICK? 472 00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:56,518 OH, HE'S IN THE CAR. 473 00:19:56,554 --> 00:19:58,245 BUT I WANTED TO TELL YOU GUYS. 474 00:19:58,281 --> 00:19:59,238 YOU KNOW WHEN WE GO TO A RESTAURANT 475 00:19:59,273 --> 00:20:01,490 AND DAD TELLS JOKES TO THE WAITRESSES 476 00:20:01,525 --> 00:20:02,716 AND THEY'RE STUPID AND EMBARRASSING 477 00:20:02,751 --> 00:20:03,467 BUT HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY? MM-HMM. 478 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,227 WELL, UM, SOMETIMES 479 00:20:05,263 --> 00:20:08,389 WHEN NICK FEELS AWKWARD IN A SOCIAL SITUATION 480 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:09,874 HE DOES THIS WHOLE, "I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE, 481 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:12,109 I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED" THING. 482 00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:13,310 KIND OF WEIRD, BUT HE THINKS IT'S FUNNY. 483 00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:14,886 SO JUST LAUGH ALONG 484 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:15,788 SO IT DOESN'T MAKE HIM FEEL BAD, OKAY? 485 00:20:18,358 --> 00:20:21,193 OKAY. 486 00:20:21,228 --> 00:20:23,011 WE'RE VERY EXCITED TO MEET HIM. 487 00:20:23,046 --> 00:20:24,880 OKAY, LOOK, DAD, PLEASE 488 00:20:24,916 --> 00:20:25,731 TRY NOT TO EMBARRASS HIM, OKAY? 489 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,716 YEAH, FINE. 490 00:20:34,675 --> 00:20:36,541 OKAY, WE'RE ON. 491 00:20:36,577 --> 00:20:38,660 NO, I'M NOT GOING. 492 00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:40,145 WELL, IT'S NICE AND WARM IN THE HOUSE. 493 00:20:40,181 --> 00:20:42,590 YOU'LL FREEZE TO DEATH OUT HERE. 494 00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:44,775 FINE, THIS CHARADE'S ABOUT TO END RIGHT NOW. 495 00:20:52,844 --> 00:20:54,410 [front door slams] 496 00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:56,102 AHEM. 497 00:20:56,138 --> 00:20:57,470 WELCOME. 498 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:58,497 OH, THIS IS SO, SO SPECIAL. 499 00:20:58,532 --> 00:21:03,168 YOU ARE THE FIRST BOYFRIEND TRUDIE'S EVER BROUGHT HOME. 500 00:21:03,203 --> 00:21:05,228 YEAH, WE THOUGHT MAYBE SHE LIKED THE INNIES. 501 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,089 YOU KNOW, NOT THE OUTIES. 502 00:21:07,124 --> 00:21:09,166 OH, MY GOD, RICHARD! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 503 00:21:09,201 --> 00:21:11,468 OKAY. 504 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,145 LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY. 505 00:21:13,180 --> 00:21:15,022 SHE FORCED ME TO COME HERE. 506 00:21:15,057 --> 00:21:18,216 THIS WOMAN HELD ME AT GUNPOINT, 507 00:21:18,252 --> 00:21:19,644 KIDNAPPED ME, AND BROUGHT ME TO THIS HOUSE 508 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:23,414 AS HER HOSTAGE. 509 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:26,584 [laughter] 510 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,286 I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN. 511 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:30,780 WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? DID YOU JUST HEAR ME? 512 00:21:30,815 --> 00:21:33,423 YEAH. MM-HMM. 513 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:34,467 YOUR DAUGHTER IS A CRAZY, DANGEROUS, CRIMINAL. 514 00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,968 YES, SHE IS! OOH... 515 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,854 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME EGGNOG? 516 00:21:38,889 --> 00:21:41,657 I HAVE A SECRET INGREDIENT THAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE. 517 00:21:41,692 --> 00:21:42,891 [whispering] IT'S GROUND CLOVES. 518 00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:45,777 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE?! 519 00:21:45,813 --> 00:21:47,170 ARE YOU ALL NUTS? 520 00:21:47,206 --> 00:21:48,080 ALL RIGHT, HONEY, THAT'S ENOUGH. 521 00:21:48,116 --> 00:21:50,399 I WILL BE RIGHT BACK. YOU HAVE YOURSELF A SEAT, NICK. 522 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:51,725 MY NAME IS NOT NICK! 523 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:52,993 YEAH, HE DOES THAT TOO. 524 00:21:53,028 --> 00:21:55,445 AND I WILL NOT HAVE A SEAT! 525 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:56,597 OKAY, WELL, I'M GONNA GO HELP MOM WITH THE EGGNOG. 526 00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:02,561 OH. 527 00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:07,082 [laughing] COME ON. 528 00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:09,668 NICK, HAVE A SEAT. COME ON. 529 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:11,628 MOM, I WAS WONDERING 530 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:12,646 IF I COULD BE KEY MASTER THIS YEAR. 531 00:22:12,681 --> 00:22:14,464 REALLY? 532 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,400 USUALLY YOU HATE THE IDEA OF KEY MASTER. 533 00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:17,943 YEAH, YOU KNOW, THE IDEA OF BEING 534 00:22:17,978 --> 00:22:19,070 FORCIBLY TRAPPED AT THE HOLIDAYS 535 00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:20,261 USED TO BOTHER ME, BUT NOW I SEE 536 00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:22,597 THE HIGHER SOCIAL PURPOSE. 537 00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:24,433 AH-HA, WELL, YOU SURE YOU CAN HANDLE GRANDMA? 538 00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,318 YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS. 539 00:22:26,353 --> 00:22:27,386 AND THAT'S BEFORE SHE DIPS INTO THE EGGNOG. 540 00:22:27,421 --> 00:22:29,388 SHE'S LIKE 75 YEARS OLD. 541 00:22:29,423 --> 00:22:31,932 YES, BUT SHE'S STILL FREAKISHLY STRONG. 542 00:22:31,967 --> 00:22:32,549 I THINK I CAN HANDLE IT. 543 00:22:34,904 --> 00:22:36,261 I'M TRUSTING YOU. 544 00:23:12,908 --> 00:23:15,217 HELLO! 545 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:22,141 HELLO! IS ANYONE OUT THERE? 546 00:23:24,512 --> 00:23:26,829 [animal howls] 547 00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:30,115 [croaking] HELP. 548 00:23:30,151 --> 00:23:31,817 [shivering] 549 00:23:41,395 --> 00:23:44,738 LOOK, SIR, I THINK I CAN CLEAR UP 550 00:23:44,773 --> 00:23:46,056 THIS SITUATION, AND WE CAN FORGET 551 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:47,007 THE WHOLE THING EVER HAPPENED. 552 00:23:47,042 --> 00:23:49,176 I JUST NEED TO USE THE PHONE. 553 00:23:49,211 --> 00:23:50,877 NO PHONES IN THE HOUSE. 554 00:23:50,913 --> 00:23:52,954 WHAT ABOUT A CELL PHONE? 555 00:23:52,990 --> 00:23:53,889 AH, THE KEY MASTER'S GOT ALL THE CELL PHONES. 556 00:23:53,924 --> 00:23:57,859 APPARENTLY IT INTERFERES WITH OUR QUALITY FAMILY TIME. 557 00:23:57,895 --> 00:24:00,203 [chuckles] YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 558 00:24:00,239 --> 00:24:01,663 [front door opens] 559 00:24:01,698 --> 00:24:02,497 (man) OH, THIS PLACE IS GREAT! 560 00:24:02,533 --> 00:24:04,642 OH, WOW. 561 00:24:04,677 --> 00:24:05,676 GANG'S ALL HERE! 562 00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:07,160 HEY! HI, DAD! 563 00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:09,013 HOW DID MY KIDS GET SO GOOD LOOKING? 564 00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:10,497 MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD. 565 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:11,740 (woman) MERRY CHRISTMAS! 566 00:24:11,775 --> 00:24:12,574 I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT SCHOOL. 567 00:24:12,609 --> 00:24:15,227 HEY, HOW ARE YOU, STUD? 568 00:24:15,262 --> 00:24:18,180 I'M GOOD. THAT'S MY BOY. 569 00:24:18,215 --> 00:24:20,207 GOSH, YOU LOOK STUNNING. HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT? 570 00:24:20,242 --> 00:24:21,942 NO. I CUT OUT DAIRY THOUGH. 571 00:24:21,977 --> 00:24:23,902 YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. THANKS, MOM. 572 00:24:23,937 --> 00:24:25,112 MOM, YOU LOOK GOOD. HI! 573 00:24:25,147 --> 00:24:26,213 WOW, MOM, YOU HAVE REALLY 574 00:24:26,248 --> 00:24:27,731 MADE IT LOOK PERFECT 575 00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,007 AND CHRISTMASSY. 576 00:24:29,042 --> 00:24:30,917 THANK YOU. YEAH, SOME DIGS, MA. 577 00:24:30,953 --> 00:24:31,635 WHAT, DID YOU CASH IN DAD'S 401K? 578 00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,194 HEY! 579 00:24:33,230 --> 00:24:34,621 HEY, WHERE'S JAN? 580 00:24:34,656 --> 00:24:36,122 I THOUGHT SHE WAS COMING. 581 00:24:36,158 --> 00:24:37,899 I TOLD YOU SHE HAD TO STAY IN TOWN TO WORK. 582 00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:38,742 I'M LUCKY I COULD TAKE THE TIME OFF. 583 00:24:38,778 --> 00:24:40,661 YOU WORK TOO HARD. 584 00:24:40,696 --> 00:24:41,745 WELL, MARKETS DON'T STOP WHEN I'M NOT THERE, MA. 585 00:24:41,780 --> 00:24:44,089 HEY, NUMB NUTS, COME HERE! 586 00:24:44,124 --> 00:24:45,673 LOOK AT THIS HAIR! WHAT IS THAT? 587 00:24:45,709 --> 00:24:48,944 LOOK AT THAT! JAKE, JAKE, WE HAVE COMPANY. 588 00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:49,945 I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET TRUDIE'S BOYFRIEND, NICK. 589 00:24:49,980 --> 00:24:50,988 HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU. 590 00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:52,823 I'M NOT HER BOYFRIEND! 591 00:24:52,858 --> 00:24:56,060 I MET HER TODAY WHEN SHE POKED A MUSKET IN MY RIBS, 592 00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:57,652 TIED ME UP WITH FURRY HANDCUFFS, 593 00:24:57,687 --> 00:24:59,471 AND DROVE ME TO WHEREVER I AM RIGHT NOW. 594 00:24:59,506 --> 00:25:02,216 FURRY HANDCUFFS. NOW I'M EMBARRASSED. 595 00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:05,978 [laughter] 596 00:25:06,013 --> 00:25:08,079 HE'S--IT'S-- OH, IT'S A WHOLE THING. 597 00:25:08,115 --> 00:25:09,756 ALL RIGHT, COME HERE. 598 00:25:09,791 --> 00:25:11,166 LOOK, JAKE--IS IT JAKE? YEAH. 599 00:25:11,202 --> 00:25:12,743 YOU LOOK LIKE A REASONABLE PERSON. 600 00:25:12,778 --> 00:25:14,894 LISTEN TO ME, MAN. 601 00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:16,029 YOU MAY THINK YOUR SISTER IS NORMAL. 602 00:25:16,064 --> 00:25:18,573 BUT SHE'S NOT. BELIEVE ME. 603 00:25:18,609 --> 00:25:20,200 SHE IS A PSYCHOPATH. 604 00:25:20,236 --> 00:25:22,177 TELL ME ABOUT IT! 605 00:25:22,212 --> 00:25:23,553 HUH? HA HA! 606 00:25:23,589 --> 00:25:25,598 ALL RIGHT, I WANT EGGNOG. 607 00:25:25,633 --> 00:25:27,807 COME ON, NICK. 608 00:25:27,843 --> 00:25:28,475 MERRY CHRISTMAS. COME ON. 609 00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:39,303 OKAY, NICK, YOU'LL BE IN HERE. 610 00:25:39,338 --> 00:25:41,914 AND, TRUDIE-- MOM, I AM 27 YEARS OLD. 611 00:25:41,916 --> 00:25:42,698 I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM AS MY BOYFRIEND. 612 00:25:42,733 --> 00:25:44,816 END OF STORY. 613 00:25:44,851 --> 00:25:47,661 OH. OKAY, DEAR. 614 00:25:51,650 --> 00:25:53,400 YEAH, YOU BETTER GET USED TO THESE BUNK BEDS. 615 00:25:53,435 --> 00:25:55,168 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA BE SHARING 616 00:25:55,203 --> 00:25:57,137 WITH YOU NEW JAIL BUDDIES, MAD DOG AND ROZ. 617 00:25:57,172 --> 00:25:59,540 WHY DON'T YOU TRY AND RELAX? 618 00:25:59,575 --> 00:26:02,175 OH, MAKE NO MISTAKE, FREAK SHOW. 619 00:26:02,211 --> 00:26:04,420 I WILL FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE. 620 00:26:04,455 --> 00:26:05,629 AND WHAT'S GONNA KEEP ME GOING 621 00:26:05,664 --> 00:26:07,247 IS THE LOOK ON YOUR TWISTED FACE 622 00:26:07,282 --> 00:26:09,891 AS THEY HAUL YOU OFF TO THE SLAMMER. 623 00:26:09,926 --> 00:26:12,002 YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT AS WELL SETTLE DOWN, 624 00:26:12,037 --> 00:26:13,628 BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY OUT OF HERE. 625 00:26:13,663 --> 00:26:15,288 SEE, AS THE KEY MASTER, I HAVE CONTROL 626 00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:16,031 OF ALL THE CAR KEYS AND CELL PHONES, 627 00:26:16,066 --> 00:26:18,325 WHICH I'VE HIDDEN QUITE WELL, IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. 628 00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:22,220 SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL TRY AND GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP 629 00:26:22,255 --> 00:26:22,996 BECAUSE WE HAVE A COUPLE OF BIG DAYS 630 00:26:23,031 --> 00:26:23,697 AHEAD OF US, SHNOOKUMS. 631 00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:40,213 [snoring] 632 00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:59,608 BE THE KEY MASTER. BE THE KEY MASTER. 633 00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:21,588 THERE'S GOTTA BE A NEIGHBOR SOMEWHERE. 634 00:27:28,597 --> 00:27:30,414 ♪ COME ON, IT'S LOVELY WEATHER ♪ 635 00:27:30,449 --> 00:27:33,667 ♪ FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU ♪ 636 00:27:33,702 --> 00:27:35,836 ♪ OUTSIDE THE SNOW IS FALLING ♪ 637 00:27:35,871 --> 00:27:37,504 ♪ AND FRIENDS ARE CALLING YOO-HOO ♪ 638 00:27:37,539 --> 00:27:41,015 ♪ COME ON, IT'S LOVELY WEATHER ♪ 639 00:27:41,051 --> 00:27:43,051 ♪ FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU... ♪ 640 00:27:43,086 --> 00:27:45,237 SO...YOU'VE BEEN WALKING FOR WHAT, ABOUT AN HOUR? 641 00:27:50,177 --> 00:27:53,103 LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME BACK TO THE HOUSE? 642 00:27:53,138 --> 00:27:54,579 WE'LL MAKE SOME HOT CHOCOLATE, OKAY? 643 00:27:57,417 --> 00:27:59,350 ♪ OUR CHEEKS ARE NICE AND ROSY ♪ 644 00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:00,985 ♪ AND COMFY AND COZY ARE WE ♪ 645 00:28:01,021 --> 00:28:03,930 [engine turns off] 646 00:28:03,965 --> 00:28:05,257 NO HOT CHOCOLATE FOR YOU THEN? 647 00:28:14,142 --> 00:28:16,643 [cell phone vibrating] 648 00:28:26,513 --> 00:28:28,363 HELLO. 649 00:28:28,398 --> 00:28:30,149 HEY, IT'S ME. 650 00:28:30,184 --> 00:28:31,016 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU YESTERDAY? 651 00:28:31,051 --> 00:28:32,409 YOU LOOKED KIND OF STRANGE. 652 00:28:32,444 --> 00:28:32,910 AND THEN I TURNED AROUND AND YOU WERE GONE. 653 00:28:32,945 --> 00:28:33,911 ARE YOU OKAY? 654 00:28:33,946 --> 00:28:35,754 YEAH, I'M FINE. 655 00:28:35,789 --> 00:28:39,508 WELL, NOT EXACTLY FINE. 656 00:28:39,510 --> 00:28:41,067 I THINK I HAD A LITTLE BIT OF A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. 657 00:28:41,102 --> 00:28:42,628 I DIDN'T KNOW THEY CAME IN SIZES. 658 00:28:42,663 --> 00:28:44,979 YEAH, AND I-- 659 00:28:45,015 --> 00:28:45,547 I DID SOMETHING KIND OF CRAZY. 660 00:28:56,827 --> 00:28:58,009 HEY, GOOD MORNING. 661 00:28:58,044 --> 00:28:59,669 MORNING. 662 00:28:59,705 --> 00:29:01,096 COME ON, SIT DOWN. 663 00:29:01,131 --> 00:29:02,114 I'LL MAKE YOU A SPECIAL BREAKFAST. 664 00:29:02,149 --> 00:29:03,448 IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. 665 00:29:03,483 --> 00:29:05,809 NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL? 666 00:29:05,844 --> 00:29:08,753 YOU HAVE TO LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW. 667 00:29:08,789 --> 00:29:10,289 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO AFTER THE HOLIDAYS? 668 00:29:10,324 --> 00:29:11,398 YOU CAN'T KEEP HIM. HE'S NOT A PUPPY. 669 00:29:11,433 --> 00:29:13,041 I KNOW. 670 00:29:13,076 --> 00:29:13,750 LOOK, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT THAT FAR AHEAD, 671 00:29:13,785 --> 00:29:14,884 BUT I'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 672 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,102 I HOPE YOU LIKE EGGS BENEDICT, 673 00:29:16,137 --> 00:29:18,880 AND I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY. 674 00:29:18,915 --> 00:29:20,849 A LITTLE FRUIT SALAD. 675 00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:22,976 HERE YOU GO. 676 00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:24,711 THANK YOU. MM-HMM. 677 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:30,992 YOU DIDN'T SLEEP IN THOSE CLOTHES, DID YOU? 678 00:29:31,027 --> 00:29:32,511 YEAH, I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT-- 679 00:29:32,546 --> 00:29:36,265 OH, YOU KNOW IN ALL THE CHAOS, WE FORGOT HIS SUITCASE. 680 00:29:36,300 --> 00:29:38,024 THAT'S RIGHT. 681 00:29:38,059 --> 00:29:40,277 I LEFT IT AT THE DINER. 682 00:29:40,279 --> 00:29:42,629 YOU KNOW I SHOULD REALLY CALL ABOUT THAT, BUNNY. 683 00:29:42,664 --> 00:29:44,347 COULD I BORROW YOUR PHONE, PLEASE? 684 00:29:44,383 --> 00:29:45,657 SORRY, I DIDN'T BRING MY PHONE, SWEET PEA. 685 00:29:45,692 --> 00:29:47,617 YES, YOUR DID. IT'S IN YOUR-- 686 00:29:47,653 --> 00:29:50,612 OH! TRUDIE! 687 00:29:50,647 --> 00:29:52,397 OHH. 688 00:29:52,432 --> 00:29:55,233 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT THAT AWAY. 689 00:29:55,268 --> 00:29:57,035 RIGHT. FORGOT. 690 00:29:57,071 --> 00:29:58,362 I'LL GO GET YOU SOMETHING TO WEAR 691 00:29:58,397 --> 00:29:59,896 WHILE I WASH YOUR CLOTHES. 692 00:29:59,931 --> 00:30:01,565 RICHARD ALWAYS BRINGS A FEW THINGS 693 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:02,799 HE THINKS HE'LL BE ABLE TO FIT INTO 694 00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:05,043 IF HE LOSES TEN POUNDS. 695 00:30:08,865 --> 00:30:10,632 GIVE ME THE PHONE. COME AND GET IT. 696 00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:12,008 GIVE IT! NO! 697 00:30:18,567 --> 00:30:20,751 YOU KNOW, I RAN TRACK IN HIGH SCHOOL. 698 00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:21,618 I PLAYED FOOTBALL, AND MY NICKNAME WAS FLASH. 699 00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,103 OOH, SCARY! 700 00:30:29,978 --> 00:30:32,846 YOU KNOW, I WAS ALSO REALLY GOOD AT HOME EC. 701 00:30:32,881 --> 00:30:35,248 OH, REALLY? THAT'S USEFUL. 702 00:30:35,284 --> 00:30:37,267 RIGHT, IT IS. 703 00:30:37,302 --> 00:30:37,709 BECAUSE I WAS REALLY GOOD AT MAKING ONE DISH. 704 00:30:37,745 --> 00:30:38,827 WHAT'S THAT? 705 00:30:38,862 --> 00:30:41,588 BEEF TENDERLOIN. 706 00:30:41,624 --> 00:30:44,149 EXTRA TENDER. 707 00:30:44,184 --> 00:30:46,334 DON'T DO IT. DON'T DO IT! 708 00:30:52,651 --> 00:30:53,341 HERE YOU GO, NICK. 709 00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:58,513 THANK YOU. 710 00:31:05,306 --> 00:31:08,540 [breathes deeply] THIS SUCKS. 711 00:31:08,576 --> 00:31:10,617 SO THE SHEEP DOG SAYS, "THE SHEEP DOG DON'T TALK." 712 00:31:10,653 --> 00:31:13,928 YOU GET IT? 713 00:31:13,964 --> 00:31:15,046 (Trudie) NO. 714 00:31:15,081 --> 00:31:17,207 [laughter] 715 00:31:17,242 --> 00:31:18,617 OH, YOU DON'T GET IT? 716 00:31:18,652 --> 00:31:20,135 OH, NICE LOOK. 717 00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:22,245 YEAH, REGANOMICS, HUH? 718 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,755 NO! 719 00:31:23,790 --> 00:31:24,973 [silverware clatters] 720 00:31:25,008 --> 00:31:26,974 [exhales] 721 00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:29,511 I FORGOT THE EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL. 722 00:31:29,546 --> 00:31:30,086 HOW COULD THAT HAVE HAPPENED? 723 00:31:39,047 --> 00:31:40,755 I'D BE HAPPY TO GO TO THE STORE FOR YOU. 724 00:31:40,790 --> 00:31:43,608 NO, MOM. 725 00:31:43,643 --> 00:31:45,410 I SHOULD GO. IT'D BE RUDE TO SEND A GUEST. 726 00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:47,220 IT IS A LONG DRIVE. 727 00:31:47,255 --> 00:31:49,739 NO, REALLY, IT'D BE MY PLEASURE. 728 00:31:49,774 --> 00:31:51,541 WELL, NICK, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 729 00:31:51,577 --> 00:31:52,775 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? RICHARD WILL DRIVE. 730 00:31:52,811 --> 00:31:54,494 YOU GO WITH HIM. MOM-- 731 00:31:54,496 --> 00:31:55,470 TRUDIE, TRUDIE, I'M GONNA NEED YOUR HELP, HONEY. 732 00:31:55,505 --> 00:31:58,148 AND THIS IS A GOOD OPPORTUNITY FOR THE MEN TO, YOU KNOW, 733 00:31:58,183 --> 00:31:59,383 HAVE SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER. 734 00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:00,408 MOM! GERTRUDE MARIE. 735 00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:07,265 WELL, COME ON, NICK. RICHARD WILL DRIVE. 736 00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:10,018 YOU GO GET THE KEYS. 737 00:32:10,053 --> 00:32:10,919 THANK YOU! 738 00:32:17,986 --> 00:32:21,262 [Richard humming] 739 00:32:23,767 --> 00:32:25,867 THIS SHOULD UNDO THE DAMAGE. 740 00:32:25,903 --> 00:32:27,518 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING. 741 00:32:27,554 --> 00:32:30,230 WHO PERMS THEIR HAIR ANYMORE? 742 00:32:30,265 --> 00:32:34,141 NO OFFENSE, BUT THIS LOOK SAYS DESPERATE. 743 00:32:34,177 --> 00:32:35,935 GUYS CAN TELL WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TOO HARD. 744 00:32:35,971 --> 00:32:37,495 SO YOU DATING ANYONE AT LAW SCHOOL, KATIE? 745 00:32:37,530 --> 00:32:38,855 I'M DATING A FEW GUYS. 746 00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:40,373 KATIE! 747 00:32:40,408 --> 00:32:42,492 I DIDN'T SAY I SLEPT WITH THEM. 748 00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:44,194 I'M NOT A SLUT. 749 00:32:44,229 --> 00:32:45,796 I KNOW. 750 00:32:45,831 --> 00:32:49,333 I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW TRUDIE HOOKED UP WITH NICK. 751 00:32:49,368 --> 00:32:51,618 HE IS SO HOT. 752 00:32:51,653 --> 00:32:53,754 OH, I JUST GAVE HIM NO CHOICE... 753 00:32:53,789 --> 00:32:55,055 BUT TO LOVE ME. 754 00:32:55,090 --> 00:32:57,224 YEAH, WELL, HE IS SOMETHING. 755 00:32:57,259 --> 00:32:58,333 HE'S WELL-SPOKEN. HE'S SUCCESSFUL. 756 00:32:58,368 --> 00:32:59,434 HE'S HANDSOME. 757 00:32:59,469 --> 00:33:00,435 I THINK YOUR FATHER'S 758 00:33:00,470 --> 00:33:02,203 TAKEN A LIKING TO HIM. 759 00:33:02,238 --> 00:33:03,930 I'M SURE THEY'RE BONDING. 760 00:33:08,745 --> 00:33:10,311 [engine turns off] 761 00:33:14,376 --> 00:33:16,193 MISTER, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME. I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED. 762 00:33:16,228 --> 00:33:18,078 LET ME GUESS. 763 00:33:18,113 --> 00:33:20,747 BY A SEXY LADY IN A PINK DRESS. 764 00:33:20,782 --> 00:33:23,250 YES, YES, YOU REMEMBER! 765 00:33:23,285 --> 00:33:25,602 AND SHE TIED YOU UP AND BLINDFOLDED YOU. 766 00:33:25,637 --> 00:33:28,955 YES, YES, THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT! 767 00:33:28,990 --> 00:33:33,042 AND SHE SPANKS YOU AND DOES NAUGHTY THINGS. 768 00:33:33,077 --> 00:33:34,335 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? EW, THAT'S DISGUSTING. 769 00:33:34,371 --> 00:33:38,448 EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL. 770 00:33:38,484 --> 00:33:40,550 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 771 00:33:40,586 --> 00:33:41,726 CAN YOU REALLY BE AN EXTRA VIRGIN? 772 00:33:41,762 --> 00:33:43,761 [chuckling] 773 00:33:43,797 --> 00:33:46,631 GOT A LITTLE WOMAN AT HOME 774 00:33:46,667 --> 00:33:49,809 LOVES TO HAVE EVERYTHING LATHERED UP IN OIL. 775 00:33:49,845 --> 00:33:52,237 NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING. 776 00:33:52,272 --> 00:33:53,696 THAT'S THE BEST THING ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS. 777 00:33:53,731 --> 00:33:57,650 NO GUILT. RIGHT, SON? 778 00:33:59,771 --> 00:34:01,071 OH. 779 00:34:05,886 --> 00:34:08,119 [pounding on door] 780 00:34:13,001 --> 00:34:15,017 WHERE IN GOD'S NAME ARE WE? 781 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:17,995 I'M FREEZING MY TA-TAS OFF. 782 00:34:18,031 --> 00:34:19,430 WELL, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO, GRANDMA. 783 00:34:19,465 --> 00:34:20,256 OH, DON'T CALL ME THAT! 784 00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:25,804 UNH! 785 00:34:34,281 --> 00:34:35,513 ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN, I'M NOT LEAVING HERE 786 00:34:35,548 --> 00:34:37,282 UNTIL YOU HELP ME! 787 00:34:37,284 --> 00:34:38,809 I'M COMING BACK THERE AND I'M GONNA USE THAT PHONE. 788 00:34:38,844 --> 00:34:40,160 THERE'S NOT GONNA BE ANY TROUBLE 789 00:34:40,195 --> 00:34:42,512 IN MY STORE, SUPER FREAK. 790 00:34:42,547 --> 00:34:46,716 NOW BACK THAT ASS UP NICE AND SLOW. 791 00:34:46,751 --> 00:34:49,285 [exhales] 792 00:35:00,957 --> 00:35:03,357 I'M GONNA TURN THE RADIO-- 793 00:35:03,393 --> 00:35:06,678 [both screaming and grunting] 794 00:35:10,767 --> 00:35:12,726 I'M BUSTING OUT OF HERE! 795 00:35:12,761 --> 00:35:15,728 CALM DOWN, SON! 796 00:35:15,764 --> 00:35:16,538 I JUST WANT TO GO HOME! 797 00:35:16,573 --> 00:35:18,965 OH, I KNOW. 798 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,041 RELATIONSHIPS CAN SEEM SUFFOCATING AT TIMES, 799 00:35:21,077 --> 00:35:22,068 BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'LL PASS. 800 00:35:26,324 --> 00:35:30,702 NOW DON'T YOU WORRY. THIS'LL BE OUR LITTLE SECRET. 801 00:35:37,586 --> 00:35:40,194 THERE IT IS. 802 00:35:40,230 --> 00:35:42,222 (Jake) SWEET. 803 00:35:42,224 --> 00:35:43,364 DON'T TAKE THE PIECES FROM MY SIDE, PLEASE. 804 00:35:43,399 --> 00:35:44,932 THERE'S PIECES MISSING. 805 00:35:44,967 --> 00:35:47,994 HI, HI. HOW'D IT GO? 806 00:35:48,029 --> 00:35:48,770 (Richard) EVERYTHING'S FINE, HONEY. 807 00:35:48,805 --> 00:35:50,521 YEAH, EVERYTHING'S FINE. 808 00:35:50,557 --> 00:35:51,640 [pants rip] 809 00:35:51,675 --> 00:35:53,666 [David grunts] 810 00:35:53,701 --> 00:35:54,642 [family chuckling] UH-OH! 811 00:35:57,839 --> 00:36:00,081 OH, JUST LIKE PAUL NEWMAN. 812 00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:01,590 NICE, FIRM-- 813 00:36:01,626 --> 00:36:02,658 GRANDMA! 814 00:36:02,694 --> 00:36:04,468 DOLORES GRANT. 815 00:36:04,504 --> 00:36:06,805 NICE TO MEET YOU. 816 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,889 HEY, DUDE, I'VE GOT SOME CLOTHES YOU CAN BORROW. 817 00:36:08,925 --> 00:36:10,567 COME ON. 818 00:36:10,602 --> 00:36:14,412 WHATEVER. THANKS, MAN. 819 00:36:17,926 --> 00:36:19,567 [laughter] 820 00:36:19,602 --> 00:36:20,793 I DIDN'T LIKE THOSE PANTS ANYWAY. 821 00:36:22,998 --> 00:36:25,298 HERE, TRY THOSE. 822 00:36:30,822 --> 00:36:33,164 YOU HAVE A PHONE? 823 00:36:33,199 --> 00:36:36,359 YEAH. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, THOUGH. 824 00:36:36,361 --> 00:36:37,602 YOU KNOW HOW MY MOM IS ABOUT PHONES AT CHRISTMAS. 825 00:36:37,637 --> 00:36:39,929 HEH. 826 00:36:39,964 --> 00:36:42,565 UH, I NEED TO MAKE A CALL. 827 00:36:42,601 --> 00:36:43,149 COULD I BORROW IT FOR A MINUTE? 828 00:36:44,644 --> 00:36:46,144 SURE. 829 00:36:46,179 --> 00:36:48,238 THANKS. 830 00:37:04,581 --> 00:37:06,973 [knock] I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE! 831 00:37:07,008 --> 00:37:09,000 LET'S GO IN THERE, SUNSHINE. 832 00:37:09,035 --> 00:37:10,793 (Jessica's voice) HI, YOU'VE REACHED JESSICA'S VOICEMAIL. 833 00:37:10,828 --> 00:37:12,779 DAMN IT! 834 00:37:12,814 --> 00:37:17,267 [telephone ringing] 835 00:37:19,512 --> 00:37:23,014 MARIA. 836 00:37:23,049 --> 00:37:25,199 HELLO. 837 00:37:25,234 --> 00:37:26,984 MRS. BARBER, IT'S DAVID. 838 00:37:27,020 --> 00:37:30,004 HELLO, DARLING. MERRY CHRISTMAS. 839 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:31,114 (David) I WAS LOOKING FOR JESSICA, 840 00:37:31,149 --> 00:37:33,141 BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT NOW. 841 00:37:33,176 --> 00:37:34,300 LISTEN, I'VE BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE! 842 00:37:34,336 --> 00:37:37,720 MARIA, I CAN'T REACH MY DRINK! 843 00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:40,181 MRS. BARBER, ARE YOU THERE? 844 00:37:40,217 --> 00:37:41,365 LET ME GET JESSICA FOR YOU, DARLING. 845 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,251 JESSICA! 846 00:37:43,286 --> 00:37:44,368 NO, NO, NO, MRS. BARBER, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 847 00:37:44,403 --> 00:37:46,345 MARIA. 848 00:37:46,381 --> 00:37:48,356 MARIA--AAH! 849 00:37:48,391 --> 00:37:50,692 OH, NO, MRS. BARBER. 850 00:37:50,727 --> 00:37:51,759 NOT AGAIN. 851 00:37:53,822 --> 00:37:55,663 HEY, WHERE'S NICK? 852 00:37:55,699 --> 00:37:56,814 HE'S ON THE PHONE. 853 00:37:56,849 --> 00:37:57,949 PHONE? WHAT PHONE? 854 00:37:57,984 --> 00:37:59,717 MY PHONE. 855 00:37:59,752 --> 00:38:01,352 OH! OH, MAN! 856 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:10,353 [telephone ringing] 857 00:38:10,388 --> 00:38:12,246 HELLO. 858 00:38:12,281 --> 00:38:14,665 JESSICA! WHO'S THIS? 859 00:38:14,701 --> 00:38:16,751 IT'S DAVID. 860 00:38:16,753 --> 00:38:17,360 I'VE GOT SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU. 861 00:38:17,395 --> 00:38:18,903 REALLY? 862 00:38:18,939 --> 00:38:21,339 BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT YOU HAD SOMETHING IMPORTANT 863 00:38:21,341 --> 00:38:22,665 TO SAY YESTERDAY, AND THEN YOU STOOD ME UP. 864 00:38:24,977 --> 00:38:26,285 IS MY BOYFRIEND IN THERE? 865 00:38:26,321 --> 00:38:29,339 DAISY MAE HAS BEEN IN THERE PRIMPING FOR TEN MINUTES. 866 00:38:29,374 --> 00:38:31,433 OPEN THIS DOOR! 867 00:38:31,435 --> 00:38:33,009 (Jessica) I SKIPPED MY GAMMA PI DELTA 868 00:38:33,045 --> 00:38:33,984 ALUMNI LUNCHEON TO MEET YOU. 869 00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:35,045 JESSICA, PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. 870 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,605 AND I AM SURE THAT BETSY PALMER 871 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:39,274 JUMPED AT THE CHANCE 872 00:38:39,309 --> 00:38:40,475 TO CAMPAIGN FOR MY SPOT AS SOCIAL CHAIR. 873 00:38:40,510 --> 00:38:42,693 OPEN THIS DOOR! 874 00:38:42,728 --> 00:38:45,021 I WAS ON BROADWAY ONCE. 875 00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:47,681 HEY! 876 00:38:47,717 --> 00:38:49,401 I WAS KIDNAPPED FROM THE RESTAURANT YESTERDAY 877 00:38:49,436 --> 00:38:50,718 BY A WAITRESS. 878 00:38:50,754 --> 00:38:52,178 SHE'S ABOUT 5'2". 879 00:38:52,213 --> 00:38:53,488 SHE'S GOT CRAZY HAIR AND CRAZY EYES. 880 00:38:57,268 --> 00:38:59,110 IF THIS IS YOUR WAY OF GETTING OUT 881 00:38:59,145 --> 00:38:59,936 OF CHRISTMAS EVE WITH MY PARENTS-- 882 00:38:59,971 --> 00:39:01,237 (David) LISTEN TO ME! 883 00:39:01,272 --> 00:39:03,081 I'M COUPLE HOURS OUTSIDE THE CITY. 884 00:39:03,116 --> 00:39:05,182 NORTH, I THINK. 885 00:39:05,218 --> 00:39:07,961 IT'S A LOG CABIN. SIX PLUS FOUR, RUSTIC CHARM. 886 00:39:07,996 --> 00:39:10,187 ARE YOU DRUNK? 887 00:39:10,223 --> 00:39:11,756 PLEASE, SWEETHEART, I LOVE YOU. 888 00:39:11,792 --> 00:39:14,308 THE IMPORTANT THING YESTERDAY? 889 00:39:14,343 --> 00:39:15,376 I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE. 890 00:39:15,411 --> 00:39:18,313 PROPOSE? 891 00:39:18,348 --> 00:39:22,900 GO TO THE POLICE AND TELL THEM WHAT'S HAPPENED. 892 00:39:22,935 --> 00:39:24,852 JESSICA, ARE YOU THERE?! 893 00:39:24,888 --> 00:39:27,230 OH. YOU'RE SERIOUS? 894 00:39:27,265 --> 00:39:28,731 YES! 895 00:39:30,643 --> 00:39:32,860 I HAVE TO GO. 896 00:39:44,357 --> 00:39:46,674 DID YOU TALK TO SOMEONE ON THE PHONE? 897 00:39:46,676 --> 00:39:49,177 NOPE, COULDN'T GET ANY RECEPTION IN THE BATHROOM. 898 00:39:49,212 --> 00:39:51,237 I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. YOU TALKED TO SOMEONE. 899 00:39:51,272 --> 00:39:54,407 OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT. I DID. 900 00:39:54,442 --> 00:39:57,151 AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME NOW 901 00:39:57,187 --> 00:40:00,112 UNTIL I'M BROKEN OUT OF THIS ASYLUM. 902 00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:02,381 BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 903 00:40:02,416 --> 00:40:04,050 UNTIL THAT TIME, 904 00:40:04,085 --> 00:40:07,077 I'VE DECIDED I'M GONNA HELP YOU. 905 00:40:07,113 --> 00:40:09,239 I'M GONNA BE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER, 906 00:40:09,241 --> 00:40:10,707 AND YOUR PARENTS ARE GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ME. 907 00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:14,010 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 908 00:40:14,045 --> 00:40:16,437 BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE MORE SATISFYING FOR ME 909 00:40:16,473 --> 00:40:18,072 WHEN YOUR FAMILY LEARNS THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU. 910 00:40:22,211 --> 00:40:23,911 [exhales] 911 00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:35,248 (David) YOU HAVE TO SWING YOUR HIPS 912 00:40:35,283 --> 00:40:36,849 IN CONJUNCTION WITH YOUR SHOULDERS. 913 00:40:36,884 --> 00:40:37,800 IF YOU WATCH TIGER, IT'S ALL CONNECTED. 914 00:40:37,836 --> 00:40:40,503 ONE FLUID MOTION. THERE YOU GO. 915 00:40:40,538 --> 00:40:42,355 PLAYING THROUGH! 916 00:40:42,390 --> 00:40:45,358 (Richard) OKAY. 917 00:40:45,393 --> 00:40:47,551 SO WHAT IS IT YOU DO, NICK? 918 00:40:47,587 --> 00:40:50,120 I WORK FOR A REAL ESTATE DEVELOPMENT COMPANY. 919 00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:52,282 REALLY, WHICH ONE? BARBER AND PARTNERS. 920 00:40:52,284 --> 00:40:54,717 I KNOW BARBER AND PARTNERS. THAT'S A GOOD COMPANY. 921 00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:56,644 MY FIRM DID SOME LEGAL WORK FOR YOU 922 00:40:56,679 --> 00:40:57,720 ON THE PINEHURST CONDOS. OH, OKAY. 923 00:40:57,756 --> 00:40:59,430 WHAT DO YOU THERE? 924 00:40:59,465 --> 00:41:03,267 I'M A VICE PRESIDENT OF NEW BUSINESS. 925 00:41:03,302 --> 00:41:04,735 YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME WE THOUGHT TRUDIE, 926 00:41:04,771 --> 00:41:05,920 WITH ALL HER CAUSES, MIGHT GO TO LAW SCHOOL 927 00:41:05,955 --> 00:41:07,396 LIKE HER SISTER KATIE. 928 00:41:07,431 --> 00:41:11,225 BEING A DEMOCRAT IS NOT A CAUSE, DAD. 929 00:41:11,261 --> 00:41:12,660 BUT SHE GOT HER DEGREE IN LIBERAL ARTS. 930 00:41:12,695 --> 00:41:15,071 FINE ARTS, DAD. 931 00:41:15,106 --> 00:41:16,414 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 932 00:41:16,449 --> 00:41:18,057 IT'S AN EXPENSIVE WAY TO SAY, 933 00:41:18,092 --> 00:41:18,808 "DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?" 934 00:41:18,844 --> 00:41:22,937 [chuckling] 935 00:41:22,972 --> 00:41:25,806 OH, HOMEMADE ORNAMENTS. 936 00:41:25,841 --> 00:41:28,276 YEAH, TRUDIE MADE THAT WHEN SHE WAS FIVE. 937 00:41:28,311 --> 00:41:29,535 SHE WAS A LITTLE WITHDRAWN AS A CHILD. 938 00:41:29,570 --> 00:41:31,145 OKAY, MOM. 939 00:41:31,181 --> 00:41:32,846 YOU KNOW, HER BROTHER AND SISTER 940 00:41:32,882 --> 00:41:33,573 ARE SO OUTGOING AND HAD SO MANY FRIENDS. 941 00:41:33,608 --> 00:41:36,517 BUT TRUDIE WAS--I DON'T KNOW-- A LITTLE ANTISOCIAL. 942 00:41:36,552 --> 00:41:39,387 REALLY? 943 00:41:39,422 --> 00:41:40,588 WE EVEN PAID A LITTLE BOY DOWN THE STREET 944 00:41:40,624 --> 00:41:41,756 TO BE HER FRIEND, BUT HE GAVE US OUR MONEY BACK. 945 00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:45,309 ALL RIGHT! 946 00:41:45,344 --> 00:41:47,436 SO FROM THEN ON IT WAS TRUDIE AND HER PROJECTS. 947 00:41:47,471 --> 00:41:49,330 AND OF COURSE BOBO BLONKERS. 948 00:41:49,365 --> 00:41:52,216 BOBO BLONKERS? 949 00:41:52,251 --> 00:41:53,951 HER IMAGINARY FRIEND. 950 00:41:53,986 --> 00:41:55,961 THANKS, MOM. THANKS A LOT. 951 00:41:55,997 --> 00:41:57,329 WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT? 952 00:41:57,365 --> 00:41:59,165 ARE YOU TALKING TO BOBO BLONKERS RIGHT NOW? 953 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:00,516 I HAVE AN IDEA. 954 00:42:00,551 --> 00:42:02,109 WHY DON'T WE LET NICK 955 00:42:02,145 --> 00:42:03,236 PUT THE ANGEL UP ON THE TREE THIS YEAR? 956 00:42:03,271 --> 00:42:05,129 UM, MOM... 957 00:42:05,165 --> 00:42:08,032 I'VE BEEN DOING IT SINCE I WAS FOUR YEARS OLD. 958 00:42:08,068 --> 00:42:08,441 REMEMBER WHEN DAD USED TO HOLD ME UP 959 00:42:08,476 --> 00:42:11,277 TO THE TOP OF THE TREE AND I WAS SO CUTE UP THERE? 960 00:42:11,312 --> 00:42:12,787 I KNOW, HONEY. DON'T BE SELFISH. 961 00:42:12,822 --> 00:42:15,932 DAD, IT'S MY THING. 962 00:42:15,967 --> 00:42:17,850 I MEAN, THIS IS MY MOMENT. 963 00:42:17,885 --> 00:42:19,251 YOU KNOW, IT'S TRADITION. 964 00:42:19,287 --> 00:42:19,953 DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THAT ANYMORE? 965 00:42:19,988 --> 00:42:22,422 TRUDIE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH STARTING A NEW TRADITION? 966 00:42:22,457 --> 00:42:24,707 NICK, UP THE TREE. 967 00:42:24,742 --> 00:42:26,551 OH, THANKS. ALL RIGHT. 968 00:42:26,586 --> 00:42:28,903 THANK YOU. 969 00:42:28,938 --> 00:42:30,145 YEAH. 970 00:42:30,181 --> 00:42:33,891 HEY, THERE SHE IS. 971 00:42:33,927 --> 00:42:36,294 [all shouting and laughing] 972 00:42:53,554 --> 00:42:55,730 WOO! 973 00:42:55,765 --> 00:42:57,315 [all cheering] 974 00:43:06,384 --> 00:43:08,342 (David) WOW, THIS IS REALLY A GREAT PLACE. 975 00:43:08,378 --> 00:43:10,219 YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN INCREDIBLE CRAFTSMANSHIP 976 00:43:10,255 --> 00:43:12,605 THAT GOES INTO A CABIN LIKE THIS. 977 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,883 I'D SAY THIS IS ADIRONDACK STYLE WITH A CONTEMPORARY TWIST. 978 00:43:15,918 --> 00:43:17,793 YES, IN THE ADIRONDACKS, 979 00:43:17,829 --> 00:43:20,279 I STARRED IN A REVIVAL OF MEDEA. 980 00:43:20,314 --> 00:43:22,306 YES, WE KNOW THAT, MOTHER! 981 00:43:22,341 --> 00:43:23,299 YOU DON'T NEED TO SHOUT, DEAR. 982 00:43:23,334 --> 00:43:24,967 I'M NOT DEAF. 983 00:43:27,221 --> 00:43:28,462 NICK, WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE? 984 00:43:28,497 --> 00:43:30,514 SURE. 985 00:43:30,549 --> 00:43:34,451 TRUDIE, WOULD YOU GET HIM ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE, PLEASE? 986 00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:36,862 WELL, HE KNOWS WHERE THE KITCHEN IS. 987 00:43:36,897 --> 00:43:40,107 ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN CHRISTMAS? 988 00:43:42,753 --> 00:43:45,496 OH, THANK YOU, BUNNYKINS! 989 00:43:45,532 --> 00:43:47,865 [chuckling] 990 00:43:47,901 --> 00:43:51,310 NICK, EVERY CHRISTMAS EVE, 991 00:43:51,345 --> 00:43:53,178 WE READ 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. 992 00:43:53,214 --> 00:43:54,755 AND I WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE 993 00:43:54,790 --> 00:43:56,382 YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO THE HONORS. 994 00:43:56,417 --> 00:43:59,526 [family cheers and applauds] 995 00:43:59,562 --> 00:44:01,486 REALLY? OH, WOW. 996 00:44:01,522 --> 00:44:04,957 OKAY. 997 00:44:04,992 --> 00:44:07,418 THAT'S IT. I'VE HAD ENOUGH. 998 00:44:07,453 --> 00:44:08,844 WHOA. 999 00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:15,685 UH, I'M GONNA--YEAH. 1000 00:44:17,731 --> 00:44:19,855 YEAH, SMART. 1001 00:44:24,278 --> 00:44:25,895 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 1002 00:44:25,930 --> 00:44:27,129 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME? 1003 00:44:27,165 --> 00:44:28,389 THEY'RE FAWNING ALL OVER YOU 1004 00:44:28,424 --> 00:44:29,707 LIKE THE LAST PIECE OF FILET MIGNON. 1005 00:44:29,742 --> 00:44:31,216 THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED. 1006 00:44:31,252 --> 00:44:32,159 ISN'T THAT THE WHOLE POINT OF ALL THIS? 1007 00:44:32,195 --> 00:44:33,894 YEAH, BUT-- BUT WHAT? 1008 00:44:33,930 --> 00:44:36,747 MY FAMILY LIKES YOU 1009 00:44:36,783 --> 00:44:39,208 MORE THAN...THEY LIKE ME. 1010 00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:45,764 WELL, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO READ THE STUPID STORY. 1011 00:44:45,799 --> 00:44:47,883 SO DON'T READ THE STORY. 1012 00:44:47,919 --> 00:44:49,251 I DON'T CARE IF YOU READ THE STORY. 1013 00:44:49,286 --> 00:44:51,078 WELL, THEN FINE. 1014 00:44:51,113 --> 00:44:52,889 THEN I'M GONNA READ THE STORY. 1015 00:44:52,924 --> 00:44:53,923 FINE. 1016 00:44:53,958 --> 00:44:56,575 FINE. 1017 00:44:56,610 --> 00:44:59,995 [moaning] 1018 00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:02,665 (Richard) LOVE THIS PIE. 1019 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:06,260 [moaning] 1020 00:45:06,296 --> 00:45:07,995 IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 1021 00:45:08,030 --> 00:45:09,705 YEAH, IT'S FINE, MOM. 1022 00:45:09,740 --> 00:45:11,849 (David) THANK YOU. 1023 00:45:11,885 --> 00:45:14,110 OKAY, HERE WE GO. 1024 00:45:14,145 --> 00:45:16,779 "TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, 1025 00:45:16,814 --> 00:45:18,990 "WHEN ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE 1026 00:45:19,025 --> 00:45:20,099 "NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING, 1027 00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:21,342 "NOT EVEN A MOUSE. 1028 00:45:21,377 --> 00:45:25,171 "THE STOCKINGS WERE HUNG BY THE CHIMNEY WITH CARE 1029 00:45:25,206 --> 00:45:29,726 "IN HOPES THAT ST. NICHOLAS SOON WOULD BE THERE. 1030 00:45:29,761 --> 00:45:32,845 "THE CHILDREN WERE NESTLED ALL SNUG IN THEIR BEDS 1031 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:37,074 WHILE VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS DANCED IN THEIR HEADS." 1032 00:45:37,109 --> 00:45:39,760 [sentimental music] 1033 00:45:39,795 --> 00:45:42,947 ♪ ♪ 1034 00:45:42,982 --> 00:45:44,548 [laughter and applause] 1035 00:45:44,584 --> 00:45:46,525 WELL DONE! 1036 00:45:51,357 --> 00:45:52,890 MOM, WE DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE OREOS AND MILK 1037 00:45:52,926 --> 00:45:54,250 FOR SANTA THIS YEAR. 1038 00:45:54,285 --> 00:45:57,086 WHAT IF SANTA'S HUNGRY? 1039 00:45:57,121 --> 00:45:57,870 WILL YOU PUT THAT AWAY? MM-HMM. 1040 00:46:00,107 --> 00:46:02,383 MOM, COME ON, WE'RE ALL ADULTS HERE. 1041 00:46:02,418 --> 00:46:04,043 WE DON'T HAVE TO WRITE LETTERS. 1042 00:46:04,078 --> 00:46:04,794 HOW IS SANTA GOING TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT? 1043 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:10,349 GOOD NIGHT. 1044 00:46:10,385 --> 00:46:12,301 GOOD NIGHT. 1045 00:46:12,336 --> 00:46:14,661 HMM. 1046 00:46:14,697 --> 00:46:18,257 YOU CAN'T EAT THOSE. 1047 00:46:18,292 --> 00:46:19,509 WHAT'S IT GONNA LOOK LIKE 1048 00:46:19,544 --> 00:46:21,902 IF SANTA DOESN'T EAT HIS COOKIES? 1049 00:46:21,937 --> 00:46:24,121 FIGURES YOU'RE A DUNKER. 1050 00:46:24,156 --> 00:46:25,631 OF COURSE. 1051 00:46:25,666 --> 00:46:27,274 WHAT ARE YOU, A TWISTER? 1052 00:46:27,310 --> 00:46:30,094 THAT'S SO WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS. 1053 00:46:30,129 --> 00:46:31,445 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 1054 00:46:34,892 --> 00:46:36,817 OH, THIS SO DUMB. 1055 00:46:36,853 --> 00:46:39,303 I HOPE YOU'RE NOT EXPECTING MUCH FROM SANTA. 1056 00:46:39,339 --> 00:46:40,929 A FEDERAL OFFENSE PROBABLY PUTS YOU 1057 00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:43,783 ON THE NAUGHTY LIST THIS YEAR. 1058 00:46:43,818 --> 00:46:45,501 LAUGH IT UP. YOU'VE GOTTA DO ONE TOO. 1059 00:46:45,536 --> 00:46:48,771 HMM? 1060 00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:50,130 THIS MAY TAKE A WHILE. 1061 00:46:59,292 --> 00:47:01,926 I'M GONNA ASK FOR A NEW FULLY LOADED S.U.V. 1062 00:47:01,961 --> 00:47:04,228 HMM, INTERESTING. 1063 00:47:04,263 --> 00:47:07,156 I'M GONNA ASK FOR AN END TO GLOBAL WARMING. 1064 00:47:07,191 --> 00:47:08,424 WHAT, YOU THINK MY LIST IS SUPERFICIAL? 1065 00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:09,157 I DON'T KNOW. LET ME SEE IT. 1066 00:47:09,193 --> 00:47:11,526 NO. 1067 00:47:11,562 --> 00:47:13,362 YOU WANT A PASTA MACHINE? 1068 00:47:13,397 --> 00:47:15,540 I LIKE TO COOK. 1069 00:47:15,542 --> 00:47:18,275 DON'T YOU WANT SOMETHING MORE, YOU KNOW, MEANINGFUL? 1070 00:47:18,310 --> 00:47:20,903 I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT. 1071 00:47:20,938 --> 00:47:24,582 GREAT JOB. BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIEND. 1072 00:47:29,063 --> 00:47:31,055 LET ME SEE YOURS. 1073 00:47:31,090 --> 00:47:34,600 "TIKI LIGHTS. CHINESE TEA POT. 1074 00:47:34,635 --> 00:47:38,012 STOP DISAPPOINTING MY PARENTS." 1075 00:47:40,741 --> 00:47:42,867 COME ON, I'M SURE THAT'S NOT TRUE. 1076 00:47:42,902 --> 00:47:45,461 BELIEVE ME, IT'S TRUE. 1077 00:47:45,496 --> 00:47:46,878 LOOK, YOUR PARENTS ARE GOOD PEOPLE. 1078 00:47:46,914 --> 00:47:50,457 AND THEY LOVE YOU. 1079 00:47:50,493 --> 00:47:54,061 I JUST WISH FOR ONCE THEY'D LOOK AT ME... 1080 00:47:54,096 --> 00:47:55,095 YOU KNOW, THE WAY THEY LOOK AT YOU. 1081 00:47:55,131 --> 00:47:56,672 THEY DO. 1082 00:47:56,707 --> 00:47:58,032 THEY DON'T. 1083 00:48:01,904 --> 00:48:03,937 THE BEST CHRISTMAS I EVER HAD, I WAS TEN. 1084 00:48:03,972 --> 00:48:05,998 I WAS TAKING FIGURE SKATING LESSONS, 1085 00:48:06,033 --> 00:48:06,898 AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THIS BIG RECITAL 1086 00:48:06,934 --> 00:48:08,208 ON CHRISTMAS EVE. 1087 00:48:08,244 --> 00:48:09,885 THERE WAS THIS HUGE SNOWSTORM 1088 00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:10,886 AND THEY CANCELLED IT. 1089 00:48:10,921 --> 00:48:14,331 OH, I WAS SO UPSET. 1090 00:48:14,367 --> 00:48:16,016 BUT OUR HOUSE HAD THIS PATIO IN THE BACK, 1091 00:48:16,051 --> 00:48:17,567 AND MY DAD SHOVELED IT 1092 00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:19,836 AND RAN THE HOSE OVER IT AND MADE ICE. 1093 00:48:19,872 --> 00:48:23,274 AND MY MOM PUT LIGHTS IN ALL THE TREES IN THE BACKYARD. 1094 00:48:23,309 --> 00:48:27,453 OH, THE GLOW WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. 1095 00:48:27,488 --> 00:48:30,865 AND IT WAS SO QUIET. 1096 00:48:30,867 --> 00:48:33,184 AND THAT CHRISTMAS EVE, I SKATED MY LITTLE ROUTINE 1097 00:48:33,219 --> 00:48:35,277 WITH MY PARENTS WATCHING. 1098 00:48:35,312 --> 00:48:39,482 IT WAS LIKE I WAS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 1099 00:48:39,517 --> 00:48:42,560 THEY WERE SO PROUD OF ME. 1100 00:48:42,595 --> 00:48:45,695 BUT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY THINGS CHANGED, 1101 00:48:45,731 --> 00:48:49,842 AND I JUST...WISH THEY STILL FELT THAT WAY 1102 00:48:49,877 --> 00:48:52,920 ABOUT ME, YOU KNOW? 1103 00:48:56,225 --> 00:48:58,267 YOU KNOW, I THINK PARENTS 1104 00:48:58,302 --> 00:49:00,669 WANT THE BEST FOR THEIR KIDS. 1105 00:49:00,705 --> 00:49:03,555 BUT SOMETIMES THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 1106 00:49:08,879 --> 00:49:10,479 WE SHOULD PROBABLY HIDE THE EVIDENCE. 1107 00:49:23,194 --> 00:49:26,403 [Christmas rock music playing] 1108 00:49:26,438 --> 00:49:28,530 [laughter and chattering] 1109 00:49:28,565 --> 00:49:30,991 HELLO! 1110 00:49:31,026 --> 00:49:32,525 HELLO? 1111 00:49:32,561 --> 00:49:34,962 HELLO! 1112 00:49:34,997 --> 00:49:37,606 EXCUSE ME, THERE'S A CONCERNED CITIZEN HERE 1113 00:49:37,642 --> 00:49:39,925 WHO NEEDS HELP FROM HER CIVIL SERVANTS. 1114 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,661 YOO-HOO! HEY! 1115 00:49:42,697 --> 00:49:44,913 [chattering stops] 1116 00:49:44,948 --> 00:49:46,782 SOMEBODY BETTER PAY ATTENTION TO ME. 1117 00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:48,726 SHE'S ALL YOURS, PAL. 1118 00:49:52,039 --> 00:49:54,323 LET ME GUESS. DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE? 1119 00:49:54,358 --> 00:49:58,902 NO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 1120 00:49:58,938 --> 00:50:01,238 I'M HERE TO REPORT A KIDNAPPING. 1121 00:50:08,214 --> 00:50:10,580 ♪ DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW ♪ 1122 00:50:10,616 --> 00:50:12,766 ♪ IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH ♪ 1123 00:50:12,801 --> 00:50:16,712 [family chattering] 1124 00:50:16,747 --> 00:50:19,431 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1125 00:50:19,466 --> 00:50:21,892 MOTHER, ISN'T IT A LITTLE EARLY? 1126 00:50:21,927 --> 00:50:24,128 EARLY FOR WHO, SUGAR BRITCHES? 1127 00:50:24,163 --> 00:50:25,912 I HAVE TO SPEND ANOTHER ENTIRE DAY 1128 00:50:25,947 --> 00:50:27,556 TRAPPED WITH YOU YAHOOS. 1129 00:50:27,592 --> 00:50:30,217 MAMA'S GONNA NEED A LITTLE HELP. 1130 00:50:30,252 --> 00:50:32,969 OKAY. 1131 00:50:33,005 --> 00:50:34,513 EVERYBODY, HERE'S THE SCHEDULE FOR TODAY. 1132 00:50:34,549 --> 00:50:36,515 JAKE AND KATIE, YOU'LL BE ON KITCHEN DUTY WITH ME. 1133 00:50:36,550 --> 00:50:37,900 RICHARD, YOU'RE CHOPPING FIREWOOD. 1134 00:50:37,935 --> 00:50:40,786 MOTHER-- HMM? 1135 00:50:40,821 --> 00:50:42,246 DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. 1136 00:50:42,281 --> 00:50:45,832 TRUDIE, YOU AND NICK GO OUTSIDE AND HAVE SOME FUN. 1137 00:50:45,868 --> 00:50:48,218 I'VE LEFT SOME WARM JACKETS AND STUFF BY THE BACK DOOR. 1138 00:50:48,254 --> 00:50:50,804 PRESENTS ARE AT 4:00. DINNER WILL BE AT 7:00. 1139 00:50:50,839 --> 00:50:52,740 THAT'S IT! 1140 00:50:52,775 --> 00:50:55,575 YOU KNOW, ABOUT LAST NIGHT, 1141 00:50:55,611 --> 00:50:57,461 I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET PERSONAL, AND, YOU KNOW-- 1142 00:51:01,616 --> 00:51:03,508 WHAT? 1143 00:51:03,544 --> 00:51:05,961 OH, MY GOD. NEVER MIND. 1144 00:51:05,996 --> 00:51:08,722 WHAT? 1145 00:51:08,757 --> 00:51:10,240 THAT'S GREAT. 1146 00:51:10,276 --> 00:51:12,117 YOU'RE JUST CHECKING OUT MY SISTER. 1147 00:51:12,153 --> 00:51:13,527 I MEAN, WHY WOULDN'T YOU BE? OF COURSE YOU ARE. 1148 00:51:13,562 --> 00:51:15,078 SHE'S GORGEOUS AND GRACEFUL AND-- 1149 00:51:15,114 --> 00:51:16,863 YOUR SISTER IS VERY LIMBER. 1150 00:51:16,899 --> 00:51:19,066 UGH. 1151 00:51:19,101 --> 00:51:20,918 YOU'RE JEALOUS. 1152 00:51:20,953 --> 00:51:22,552 I AM NOT! ARE TOO. 1153 00:51:22,588 --> 00:51:23,729 AM NOT! ARE TOO! 1154 00:51:23,764 --> 00:51:24,571 AM NOT! 1155 00:51:27,151 --> 00:51:27,916 DO RICH KIDS EVEN PLAY HOCKEY? 1156 00:51:27,951 --> 00:51:30,044 I PLAYED MY FAIR SHARE. 1157 00:51:30,079 --> 00:51:31,286 WELL, I'VE BEEN PLAYING WITH MY BROTHER 1158 00:51:31,322 --> 00:51:32,270 SINCE I COULD WALK, SO LET'S GO. 1159 00:51:32,306 --> 00:51:35,491 [soft rock music] 1160 00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:37,084 [laughing] YES! 1161 00:51:37,119 --> 00:51:38,727 OH. 1162 00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:39,628 I'M OKAY, I'M OKAY. 1163 00:51:42,967 --> 00:51:45,133 UNH! OH! 1164 00:51:45,169 --> 00:51:46,051 YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS? 1165 00:51:46,086 --> 00:51:47,511 YEAH, COME ON. 1166 00:51:50,983 --> 00:51:52,307 UNH! UNH! 1167 00:51:57,022 --> 00:51:58,797 (David) SORRY. 1168 00:51:58,832 --> 00:52:00,365 YOU KNOW, I GOTTA GIVE IT TO YOU. 1169 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,250 YOU'RE PRETTY SCRAPPY. 1170 00:52:02,286 --> 00:52:03,168 UM, I THINK YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH FOR NOW. 1171 00:52:03,203 --> 00:52:05,153 [chuckling] 1172 00:52:05,189 --> 00:52:07,689 SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? 1173 00:52:07,724 --> 00:52:10,008 FOR FUN? 1174 00:52:10,044 --> 00:52:11,652 YOU KNOW, WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN? 1175 00:52:11,687 --> 00:52:13,503 I PAINT. REALLY? 1176 00:52:13,538 --> 00:52:15,239 WHAT KIND OF PAINTINGS? 1177 00:52:15,274 --> 00:52:17,432 PORTRAITS MOSTLY. 1178 00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:20,043 YOU KNOW, LIKE POST-IMPRESSIONIST STUFF. 1179 00:52:20,079 --> 00:52:21,787 IT'S A FOCUS ON COLOR OVER LINE-- 1180 00:52:21,822 --> 00:52:23,313 I KNOW WHAT POST-IMPRESSIONISM IS. 1181 00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:26,199 LIKE CEZANNE, OR MORE LIKE ALICE NEEL? 1182 00:52:26,234 --> 00:52:29,161 I LOVE ALICE NEEL. YOU KNOW ALICE NEEL? 1183 00:52:29,196 --> 00:52:32,347 YOU SHOULDN'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS ABOUT PEOPLE. 1184 00:52:32,382 --> 00:52:34,040 SO WHAT DO YOU BESIDES BUILD COOKIE CUTTER 1185 00:52:34,075 --> 00:52:36,485 CONDOMINIUMS FOR THE MASSES? 1186 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:39,471 I DIDN'T START OUT TO DO THAT. 1187 00:52:39,506 --> 00:52:41,006 I ACTUALLY STUDIED ARCHITECTURE. 1188 00:52:41,041 --> 00:52:43,859 FOR A WHILE THERE I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA GO OUT ON MY OWN. 1189 00:52:43,894 --> 00:52:45,969 WHY DIDN'T YOU? 1190 00:52:46,004 --> 00:52:47,563 WELL, IT'S RISKY, AND THERE'S NO MONEY IN IT 1191 00:52:47,598 --> 00:52:49,581 UNLESS YOU'RE ESTABLISHED. 1192 00:52:49,616 --> 00:52:51,000 WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARENTS? 1193 00:52:51,035 --> 00:52:52,058 WOULDN'T THEY HAVE HELPED YOU GET STARTED? 1194 00:52:52,094 --> 00:52:53,585 YEAH, THEY WOULD'VE 1195 00:52:53,620 --> 00:52:55,003 IF THEY HAD TWO NICKELS TO RUB TOGETHER. 1196 00:52:55,038 --> 00:52:58,323 THEY WERE BOTH SCHOOL TEACHERS. 1197 00:52:58,359 --> 00:52:59,741 THEY DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT WHEN I WAS NINE. 1198 00:52:59,776 --> 00:53:03,670 OH...I'M SO SORRY. 1199 00:53:03,706 --> 00:53:05,680 BUT YOU SAID YOU GREW UP WELL OFF. 1200 00:53:05,716 --> 00:53:07,750 NO, YOU DID. 1201 00:53:07,785 --> 00:53:09,375 I LIVED WITH MY GRANDFATHER 1202 00:53:09,411 --> 00:53:11,453 IN A ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT UNTIL I WAS 18. 1203 00:53:11,488 --> 00:53:15,190 I WORKED MY WAY THROUGH COLLEGE MOWING LAWNS FOR THE CITY. 1204 00:53:15,225 --> 00:53:17,526 THAT MUST'VE BEEN TOUGH. 1205 00:53:17,528 --> 00:53:19,478 YOU KNOW, IT ACTUALLY HELPED ME IN CERTAIN WAYS. 1206 00:53:19,513 --> 00:53:22,064 I LEARNED AT ANY EARLY AGE THAT WE'RE ALL ON OUR OWN. 1207 00:53:35,746 --> 00:53:37,504 WOULD YOU GO, PLEASE? 1208 00:53:37,540 --> 00:53:38,747 DON'T RUSH ME. 1209 00:53:47,541 --> 00:53:48,765 OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! 1210 00:53:48,801 --> 00:53:50,634 HA! 1211 00:53:53,222 --> 00:53:54,704 HA. 1212 00:53:54,740 --> 00:53:57,298 AW, THAT'S TOO BAD. 1213 00:53:57,334 --> 00:53:59,067 MAKING A MOVE LIKE THAT MUST BE KILLING YOU. 1214 00:53:59,103 --> 00:54:01,628 HEY! 1215 00:54:01,663 --> 00:54:03,663 WHY DO YOU KEEP HITTING YOURSELF? [giggling] 1216 00:54:03,699 --> 00:54:05,299 SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1217 00:54:05,334 --> 00:54:07,009 TRUDIE, I'M STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT YOU NOW. 1218 00:54:07,044 --> 00:54:07,609 OH, MY GOSH, YOU HAVE TO STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. 1219 00:54:07,644 --> 00:54:09,669 STOP! 1220 00:54:09,705 --> 00:54:11,054 GIVE IT BACK. I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT. 1221 00:54:11,089 --> 00:54:12,147 BUT YOU DID IT. IT'S DONE. 1222 00:54:12,182 --> 00:54:13,624 IT WAS A MISTAKE. 1223 00:54:13,659 --> 00:54:14,808 YOU CAN'T TAKE SOMETHING BACK 1224 00:54:14,843 --> 00:54:17,969 ONCE IT'S ALREADY DONE. 1225 00:54:18,005 --> 00:54:20,589 EVEN IF YOU REALIZE RIGHT AWAY 1226 00:54:20,624 --> 00:54:22,582 IT WAS WRONG AND...YOU'RE SORRY? 1227 00:54:26,488 --> 00:54:30,215 FINE. 1228 00:54:30,251 --> 00:54:31,425 BUT KNOW THAT YOU'RE A CHEATER. 1229 00:54:35,923 --> 00:54:37,097 SUCH A CHEATER. 1230 00:54:42,079 --> 00:54:43,270 I'M GONNA GO GET SOME MILK FOR THESE. 1231 00:54:45,023 --> 00:54:48,391 IT'S COVERED IN STONES-- 1232 00:54:48,426 --> 00:54:50,235 OH, OH! 1233 00:54:52,139 --> 00:54:55,365 OH, WELL, WE'RE NOT INTO PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION. 1234 00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:56,942 RIGHT. 1235 00:54:56,977 --> 00:54:58,377 COME ON, DON'T BE SUCH A PRUDE. 1236 00:54:58,412 --> 00:54:59,403 YEAH, SORRY. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. 1237 00:54:59,438 --> 00:55:00,620 IT'S MISTLETOE. 1238 00:55:07,872 --> 00:55:09,796 [humming Wedding March] 1239 00:55:09,831 --> 00:55:11,906 MOM! 1240 00:55:11,942 --> 00:55:15,269 I'LL GET THE MILK. 1241 00:55:15,304 --> 00:55:18,897 OH, THIS IS IT. THE SCENE OF THE CRIME. 1242 00:55:18,932 --> 00:55:21,892 AREN'T YOU GONNA DRAW YOUR GUNS? 1243 00:55:21,927 --> 00:55:24,277 MERRY CHRISTMAS! 1244 00:55:24,312 --> 00:55:26,129 WELCOME TO TAJ'S DINER DELUXE. 1245 00:55:26,164 --> 00:55:29,157 WE HAVE A DELICIOUS HO-HO HOT DOG SPECIAL TODAY. 1246 00:55:29,192 --> 00:55:31,060 WE'RE NOT HERE TO EAT. 1247 00:55:31,095 --> 00:55:31,994 WE'RE HERE BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND 1248 00:55:32,029 --> 00:55:35,497 WAS KIDNAPPED BY ONE OF YOUR WAITRESSES YESTERDAY. 1249 00:55:35,532 --> 00:55:37,874 YEAH, FEMALE, 5'2", 1250 00:55:37,909 --> 00:55:40,310 CRAZY HAIR, CRAZY EYES. 1251 00:55:40,345 --> 00:55:42,729 YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO FITS THAT DESCRIPTION? 1252 00:55:42,764 --> 00:55:44,164 APPARENTLY HE WAS TAKEN AT GUNPOINT. 1253 00:55:44,199 --> 00:55:46,291 DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE MAY HAVE GOTTEN A GUN? 1254 00:55:46,326 --> 00:55:49,127 OH, UH, NO, NO. 1255 00:55:49,162 --> 00:55:50,170 NO, I DON'T KNOW-- I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. 1256 00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,364 MOM, ISN'T IT TIME FOR PRESENTS? 1257 00:56:00,399 --> 00:56:01,573 OH, IS IT? 1258 00:56:01,608 --> 00:56:03,208 IT'S 4:00 P.M. HMM. 1259 00:56:03,244 --> 00:56:05,093 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1260 00:56:05,129 --> 00:56:06,403 OH, I'M FOLDING YOUR FATHER'S JOCKEY SHORTS. 1261 00:56:06,438 --> 00:56:09,656 SOMETIMES I HAVE DREAMS 1262 00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:12,284 THAT HUNDREDS OF PAIRS OF UNDERWEAR ENVELOPE ME. 1263 00:56:12,319 --> 00:56:15,020 DO YOU EVER HAVE DREAMS LIKE THAT? 1264 00:56:15,055 --> 00:56:16,655 NO. MOM, ARE YOU OKAY? 1265 00:56:19,567 --> 00:56:20,876 DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR FATHER'S THE ONLY MAN 1266 00:56:20,911 --> 00:56:23,587 I HAVE EVER SLEPT WITH? 1267 00:56:23,622 --> 00:56:25,688 HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH MORE THAN ONE MAN? 1268 00:56:25,724 --> 00:56:28,233 [exhales] NO. 1269 00:56:28,269 --> 00:56:29,918 OF COURSE YOU HAVE. 1270 00:56:29,954 --> 00:56:31,327 IT'S THE WAY OF THE MODERN WORLD. 1271 00:56:31,363 --> 00:56:33,955 YOU BOINK A WHOLE LOT OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE. 1272 00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:38,401 YOU DON'T JUST PICK ONE AND HOPE FOR THE BEST. 1273 00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:40,712 WELL, I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S TIME FOR PRESENTS. 1274 00:56:40,747 --> 00:56:41,513 COME ON. 1275 00:56:44,809 --> 00:56:46,902 OH, HONEY, YOU'RE RIGHT. 1276 00:56:46,937 --> 00:56:49,313 YES, OKAY, LET'S GO, GO, GO. 1277 00:56:49,348 --> 00:56:51,982 [clock ticking] 1278 00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:19,167 NICK, TIME FOR PRESENTS! 1279 00:57:19,202 --> 00:57:22,529 GRANDMA. JAKE. 1280 00:57:22,564 --> 00:57:24,672 THANK YOU. 1281 00:57:24,708 --> 00:57:26,849 HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING STRANGE ABOUT MOM? 1282 00:57:26,885 --> 00:57:29,211 LIKE MORE THAN USUAL? 1283 00:57:29,246 --> 00:57:30,745 YEAH, I JUST HAD A WEIRD CONVERSATION WITH HER, 1284 00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:33,856 AND I THINK SHE MIGHT NOT BE SO HAPPY WITH DAD. 1285 00:57:33,892 --> 00:57:36,150 WHAT? THAT'S CRAZY. 1286 00:57:36,186 --> 00:57:37,043 SHE USED THE WORD "BOINK." 1287 00:57:37,078 --> 00:57:39,204 EW. YEAH. 1288 00:57:39,239 --> 00:57:44,484 NICK, FOR YOU. TRUDIE, FOR YOU. 1289 00:57:44,519 --> 00:57:46,786 CAN I? 1290 00:57:46,822 --> 00:57:48,947 MM-HMM. NICK'S GONNA-- 1291 00:57:48,982 --> 00:57:50,190 (Richard) IT'S A BACK SCRUBBER! 1292 00:57:50,225 --> 00:57:52,550 (Katherine) EXFOLIATION IS THE KEY TO GOOD SKIN. 1293 00:57:52,586 --> 00:57:54,586 YEAH, COOL. 1294 00:57:54,622 --> 00:57:55,437 (Trudie) WOW, GOOD JOB, MOM. 1295 00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:57,088 THANK YOU. 1296 00:58:03,438 --> 00:58:04,796 IT JUST LIGHTS UP YOUR FACE. 1297 00:58:04,831 --> 00:58:06,398 PINK. 1298 00:58:06,433 --> 00:58:08,308 SMILE! [Christmas rock music] 1299 00:58:08,343 --> 00:58:09,242 OH, BEAUTIFUL. 1300 00:58:09,277 --> 00:58:12,228 ALL RIGHT. 1301 00:58:12,263 --> 00:58:12,679 (Richard) GOTTA LOOK THE PART, SON. 1302 00:58:12,714 --> 00:58:14,147 GREED IS GOOD. 1303 00:58:14,182 --> 00:58:16,457 WOW. 1304 00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:18,243 (Katherine) YOUR DAD FOUND THAT. 1305 00:58:18,278 --> 00:58:19,686 IT LISTS EVERY LAW FIRM IN AMERICA. 1306 00:58:19,721 --> 00:58:21,521 OKAY. 1307 00:58:21,557 --> 00:58:23,172 (Katherine) WELL, YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING 1308 00:58:23,208 --> 00:58:24,182 YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH UNDERWEAR. 1309 00:58:24,217 --> 00:58:27,143 OH, MY GOSH. THIS IS REALLY HEAVY. 1310 00:58:27,178 --> 00:58:29,829 OH, GREAT FOR TIGHTENING SCREWS. 1311 00:58:33,651 --> 00:58:35,260 EWW... 1312 00:58:35,295 --> 00:58:37,879 (Katie) I PICKED THAT OUT. 1313 00:58:37,914 --> 00:58:40,340 OH, TRUDIE, ONE MORE GIFT. IT'S FOR YOU. 1314 00:58:53,004 --> 00:58:54,721 WELL, WE JUST THOUGHT THAT-- 1315 00:58:54,756 --> 00:58:57,407 YEAH. 1316 00:58:57,442 --> 00:58:58,791 (Richard) HEY, LOOK, TRUDIE, 1317 00:58:58,827 --> 00:58:59,909 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY 1318 00:58:59,944 --> 00:59:01,661 WITH MR. PORTNOY, BUT... 1319 00:59:01,697 --> 00:59:04,397 [exhales] I THINK IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS. 1320 00:59:04,432 --> 00:59:06,666 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 1321 00:59:06,701 --> 00:59:08,168 YOU NEED TO GROW UP AND GET FOCUSED 1322 00:59:08,203 --> 00:59:10,912 ON A LEGITIMATE CAREER. 1323 00:59:10,947 --> 00:59:12,355 YOU'RE UNSETTLED. YOU'RE UNFOCUSED. 1324 00:59:12,390 --> 00:59:13,831 YOU NEED TO FIND SOMETHING TO DO REALLY WELL. 1325 00:59:13,867 --> 00:59:16,918 BUT I HAVE, I DO. IT'S PAINTING. 1326 00:59:16,953 --> 00:59:18,262 I MEAN, IT'S THE ONLY THING I CARE ABOUT. 1327 00:59:18,264 --> 00:59:19,263 IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE ME. 1328 00:59:19,298 --> 00:59:22,056 THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT 1329 00:59:22,092 --> 00:59:23,959 RIGHT NOW. 1330 00:59:23,994 --> 00:59:25,602 YOU CAN PAINT, OR DRAW, OR COLOR 1331 00:59:25,637 --> 00:59:27,087 IN YOUR SPARE TIME. 1332 00:59:27,122 --> 00:59:28,171 I AM TALKING ABOUT YOUR LIFE HERE. 1333 00:59:28,206 --> 00:59:30,532 SO AM I! 1334 00:59:30,568 --> 00:59:31,783 DON'T YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE? 1335 00:59:31,818 --> 00:59:34,010 YES, BUT-- 1336 00:59:34,046 --> 00:59:34,728 HONEY, WE JUST--WE WERE JUST TRYING TO HELP. 1337 00:59:42,755 --> 00:59:45,922 UM, MR. CHANDLER, 1338 00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:48,474 IF YOU DON'T MIND ME SAYING, SIR, 1339 00:59:48,509 --> 00:59:50,752 I'VE SEEN TRUDIE'S PAINTING. 1340 00:59:50,788 --> 00:59:52,379 AND, WELL, 1341 00:59:52,414 --> 00:59:56,140 THEY'RE RAW AND EXPRESSIVE. 1342 00:59:56,176 --> 01:00:00,136 COMPLEX AND, WELL, A LITTLE STRANGE. 1343 01:00:00,171 --> 01:00:03,465 BUT...REALLY BEAUTIFUL. 1344 01:00:08,162 --> 01:00:10,780 AND... 1345 01:00:10,816 --> 01:00:11,806 I HAVE ONE MORE GIFT FOR HER. 1346 01:00:18,990 --> 01:00:20,531 GERTRUDE CHANDLER... 1347 01:00:20,567 --> 01:00:21,566 OH! 1348 01:00:21,601 --> 01:00:23,259 OH! 1349 01:00:23,295 --> 01:00:24,194 WILL YOU MARRY ME? 1350 01:00:30,151 --> 01:00:36,689 YES. 1351 01:00:36,725 --> 01:00:38,449 OH, MY! 1352 01:00:38,484 --> 01:00:41,044 OH, MY! 1353 01:00:41,079 --> 01:00:43,705 OH, MY GOSH! 1354 01:00:43,740 --> 01:00:45,807 THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT 1355 01:00:45,842 --> 01:00:48,176 YOU COULD EVER GIVE ME! 1356 01:00:48,211 --> 01:00:51,438 I'M SO EXCITED! 1357 01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:52,438 OH, I CAN'T WAIT TO START PLANNING THE WEDDING! 1358 01:00:52,474 --> 01:00:54,466 SON. 1359 01:00:54,501 --> 01:00:56,409 CONGRATULATIONS. 1360 01:00:56,444 --> 01:00:59,437 OKAY, UM, NEXT ON THE AGENDA IS DINNER IN THREE HOURS. 1361 01:00:59,473 --> 01:01:01,539 SO, UM... [laughter] 1362 01:01:01,574 --> 01:01:03,316 I'M SORRY. 1363 01:01:03,351 --> 01:01:04,951 EVERYBODY JUST GET CHANGED AND DO WHATEVER. 1364 01:01:04,953 --> 01:01:08,338 AND WE'LL MEET BACK IN THE DINNING ROOM AT 7:00. 1365 01:01:08,373 --> 01:01:10,865 THAT'S IT! 1366 01:01:18,575 --> 01:01:22,485 I DON'T-- THAT WAS...SOMETHING. 1367 01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:23,461 WELL, YOU KNOW, I FIGURED 1368 01:01:23,496 --> 01:01:26,130 WE MAY AS WELL GIVE THEM ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES. 1369 01:01:26,165 --> 01:01:27,573 AT LEAST FOR A COUPLE MORE HOURS, RIGHT? 1370 01:01:27,609 --> 01:01:28,508 THANK YOU. 1371 01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:34,163 I ASSUME YOU MADE UP THE PART ABOUT THE PAINTINGS. 1372 01:01:34,199 --> 01:01:36,383 I SAW YOUR ALBUM. 1373 01:01:36,418 --> 01:01:38,276 IT WAS STICKING OUT OF YOUR PURSE. 1374 01:01:38,311 --> 01:01:40,920 OH, YOU WERE LOOKING IN MY BAG? 1375 01:01:40,955 --> 01:01:42,705 WELL, THE KEYS AREN'T THERE. 1376 01:01:42,741 --> 01:01:46,751 NO, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. RELAX. 1377 01:01:46,787 --> 01:01:48,761 SO DO YOU JUST CARRY AN ENGAGEMENT RING 1378 01:01:48,796 --> 01:01:49,479 IN YOUR POCKET ALL THE TIME? 1379 01:01:49,514 --> 01:01:50,864 YEAH. 1380 01:01:50,899 --> 01:01:55,176 RIGHT. 1381 01:01:55,212 --> 01:01:58,113 WELL, LOOK, I JUST WANT TO SAY I'M SORRY 1382 01:01:58,148 --> 01:02:00,924 ABOUT EVERYTHING. 1383 01:02:00,959 --> 01:02:03,793 TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, 1384 01:02:03,829 --> 01:02:07,155 IT HASN'T BEEN THAT BAD. 1385 01:02:07,190 --> 01:02:09,148 WELL, IF YOU CAN JUST HANG IN THERE 1386 01:02:09,184 --> 01:02:09,966 THROUGH CHRISTMAS DINNER, I PROMISE I'LL TAKE YOU 1387 01:02:10,002 --> 01:02:12,435 WHEREVER YOU WANT TO GO TOMORROW. 1388 01:02:12,471 --> 01:02:13,970 HEH! 1389 01:02:20,737 --> 01:02:22,704 HEY, MOM, CAN I HELP YOU WITH ANYTHING? 1390 01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:24,506 OH, YEAH. 1391 01:02:24,541 --> 01:02:25,623 YOU CAN BUNDLE UP AND TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE. 1392 01:02:25,659 --> 01:02:26,608 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, HONEY. 1393 01:02:32,482 --> 01:02:34,441 HEY. 1394 01:02:34,476 --> 01:02:36,501 WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? 1395 01:02:36,536 --> 01:02:37,919 I'M JUST ENJOYING A LITTLE DOWN TIME. 1396 01:02:37,955 --> 01:02:41,047 HMM, WELL... 1397 01:02:41,082 --> 01:02:42,581 [cans and glass rattle] 1398 01:02:42,617 --> 01:02:44,709 THAT SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. 1399 01:02:44,744 --> 01:02:47,578 HEY. WANT ONE? 1400 01:02:47,613 --> 01:02:51,749 YEAH. 1401 01:02:51,784 --> 01:02:54,185 SO YOU'RE ENGAGED. 1402 01:02:54,221 --> 01:02:57,196 MAN. 1403 01:02:57,232 --> 01:02:57,947 I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, TRUD. 1404 01:02:57,982 --> 01:02:58,723 THANK YOU. 1405 01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:04,562 YOU KNOW-- 1406 01:03:04,597 --> 01:03:05,721 I REALLY HOPE THAT HAPPENS FOR ME SOMEDAY. 1407 01:03:05,757 --> 01:03:07,115 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IT HAS HAPPENED FOR YOU. 1408 01:03:07,151 --> 01:03:08,341 JEN'S GREAT. 1409 01:03:08,377 --> 01:03:10,018 YEAH, ABOUT THAT. 1410 01:03:10,053 --> 01:03:12,245 UM... 1411 01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:14,605 JEN AND I BROKE UP LIKE SIX MONTHS AGO. 1412 01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:16,182 SHUT UP. 1413 01:03:16,217 --> 01:03:18,651 AND I'VE STARTED SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. 1414 01:03:18,686 --> 01:03:19,536 SHUT UP! 1415 01:03:21,748 --> 01:03:23,923 AND HIS NAME IS RYAN. 1416 01:03:23,959 --> 01:03:27,443 OH, MY GOSH. 1417 01:03:27,479 --> 01:03:31,264 WELL, YOU KNOW... 1418 01:03:31,299 --> 01:03:32,966 I THINK MAYBE I KNEW. 1419 01:03:33,001 --> 01:03:35,168 YEAH, I KNEW. 1420 01:03:35,203 --> 01:03:37,403 WHAT? YOU DIDN'T KNOW. 1421 01:03:37,439 --> 01:03:39,038 COME ON, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW. 1422 01:03:39,073 --> 01:03:41,499 I MEAN, I GUESS I KIND OF KNEW, BUT-- 1423 01:03:41,534 --> 01:03:42,742 WELL, DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW? 1424 01:03:42,777 --> 01:03:45,987 [exhales] 1425 01:03:46,022 --> 01:03:47,555 I THOUGHT I'D TELL EVERYONE AT DINNER. 1426 01:03:47,590 --> 01:03:50,917 ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? 1427 01:03:50,952 --> 01:03:52,318 [laughter] 1428 01:04:09,028 --> 01:04:10,962 DOLORES! 1429 01:04:18,572 --> 01:04:20,855 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1430 01:04:20,890 --> 01:04:23,157 I'M GOING TO BACK TO THE CITY 1431 01:04:23,193 --> 01:04:25,685 TO GET A DECENT STEAK AND A COGNAC. 1432 01:04:25,721 --> 01:04:27,378 YOU CAN'T DRIVE. GIVE ME THE KEYS. 1433 01:04:27,413 --> 01:04:30,423 YOU WANT TO COME ALONG FOR THE RIDE, ROSEBUD? 1434 01:04:30,458 --> 01:04:33,943 COME ON, LET'S BLOW THIS RINKY DINK LOG CABIN. 1435 01:04:33,979 --> 01:04:36,329 [engine starts] DOLORES! 1436 01:04:36,365 --> 01:04:38,239 [screaming] 1437 01:04:42,496 --> 01:04:44,621 [loud crash] 1438 01:04:47,050 --> 01:04:48,792 OH, MY GOD. 1439 01:04:48,827 --> 01:04:52,003 GRAMS? 1440 01:04:52,039 --> 01:04:55,648 OH, MY GOSH. ARE YOU OKAY, GRANDMA? 1441 01:04:55,684 --> 01:04:58,334 DON'T TOUCH ME AND DON'T CALL ME THAT. 1442 01:04:58,369 --> 01:04:59,627 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1443 01:04:59,662 --> 01:05:02,188 YEAH. 1444 01:05:02,190 --> 01:05:03,848 WHAT HAPPENED TO "I'M NOT TRYING TO ESCAPE ANYMORE?" 1445 01:05:03,883 --> 01:05:07,510 I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE SURE SHE DIDN'T HURT HERSELF. 1446 01:05:07,545 --> 01:05:09,145 WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE OKAY. 1447 01:05:12,258 --> 01:05:14,843 [rock music playing in background] 1448 01:05:14,878 --> 01:05:17,086 I SWEAR TO GOD, MARY HAD BETTER BE GIVING BIRTH 1449 01:05:17,122 --> 01:05:19,296 TO BABY JESUS OUTSIDE THE-- 1450 01:05:19,332 --> 01:05:22,108 OH, JUST AS GOOD. POLICE OFFICERS-- 1451 01:05:22,143 --> 01:05:23,293 (Steve) COME ON, MRS. CLAUS. 1452 01:05:23,328 --> 01:05:25,787 IT'S TIME FOR STEVIE-WEVIE TO OPEN ANOTHER PRESENT. 1453 01:05:25,822 --> 01:05:29,782 CUT IT OUT, STEVE! WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? 1454 01:05:29,818 --> 01:05:32,935 THE OWNER SAID THAT YOU WERE HER BEST FRIEND. 1455 01:05:32,971 --> 01:05:34,653 I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY WENT. 1456 01:05:34,689 --> 01:05:36,030 SHE JUST TOOK OFF. 1457 01:05:36,065 --> 01:05:37,890 YOU KNOW, WHEN WE CATCH HER, 1458 01:05:37,925 --> 01:05:39,175 YOU'LL BE PUT AWAY TOO 1459 01:05:39,211 --> 01:05:41,945 FOR ACCESSORY TO KIDNAPPING, 1460 01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:43,529 OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE. 1461 01:05:43,565 --> 01:05:46,532 IT'S-- IT'S NOT HER FAULT. 1462 01:05:46,567 --> 01:05:47,558 IT'S MEN. 1463 01:05:51,981 --> 01:05:53,940 THEY DRIVE WOMEN CRAZY. 1464 01:06:07,981 --> 01:06:10,965 OH, I'M SORRY. IT'S OKAY. 1465 01:06:11,001 --> 01:06:13,759 I, UM, JUST... 1466 01:06:13,794 --> 01:06:16,721 NEEDED THE, UH, THE... 1467 01:06:16,757 --> 01:06:18,881 TOOTHPASTE. 1468 01:06:20,534 --> 01:06:21,801 UH... 1469 01:06:24,723 --> 01:06:26,289 HERE YOU GO. 1470 01:06:26,324 --> 01:06:28,307 DO YOU--DO YOU NEED TO TAKE A SHOWER? 1471 01:06:28,343 --> 01:06:30,927 NO, I'LL WAIT TILL YOU'RE DRY. 1472 01:06:30,962 --> 01:06:33,312 DRESSED. DONE. 1473 01:06:35,433 --> 01:06:37,859 WHEW! OKAY. 1474 01:06:40,363 --> 01:06:42,739 WELL, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO NOW. 1475 01:06:45,084 --> 01:06:46,492 PROBABLY. 1476 01:06:55,303 --> 01:06:56,335 [exhales] 1477 01:06:59,557 --> 01:07:01,466 [exhales] 1478 01:07:14,556 --> 01:07:16,022 [knock on door] 1479 01:07:20,620 --> 01:07:22,787 I DIDN'T, UH, MEAN TO SCARE YOU OFF BACK THERE. 1480 01:07:22,822 --> 01:07:24,823 YOU DIDN'T SCARE ME OFF. 1481 01:07:24,858 --> 01:07:27,200 YOU LOOK GREAT. 1482 01:07:29,879 --> 01:07:31,604 SO DO YOU. 1483 01:07:31,639 --> 01:07:33,539 COME ON, I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 1484 01:07:38,421 --> 01:07:40,087 I'M NOT GIVING YOU A REMATCH RIGHT NOW. 1485 01:07:40,123 --> 01:07:42,799 HOLD ON JUST ONE SECOND. 1486 01:07:42,834 --> 01:07:43,841 HUH? 1487 01:07:46,204 --> 01:07:47,812 OKAY, PUT THESE ON, PLEASE. 1488 01:07:47,847 --> 01:07:49,321 IT'S ALMOST DINNERTIME, 1489 01:07:49,357 --> 01:07:50,347 AND I'M IN A DRESS, YOU MORON. 1490 01:07:50,383 --> 01:07:52,249 PLEASE SHUT UP. SHUT UP? 1491 01:07:52,285 --> 01:07:53,851 JUST PUT THESE ON. 1492 01:07:53,886 --> 01:07:55,103 FINE. 1493 01:08:05,806 --> 01:08:07,698 WHOA. 1494 01:08:18,170 --> 01:08:20,929 OH, MY GOSH. 1495 01:08:20,964 --> 01:08:23,256 OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID ALL THIS. 1496 01:08:26,610 --> 01:08:29,888 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU. 1497 01:08:29,923 --> 01:08:33,216 YOU'RE WELCOME. 1498 01:08:33,251 --> 01:08:34,809 BUT YOU OWE ME SOMETHING IN RETURN. 1499 01:08:34,844 --> 01:08:36,010 WHAT? 1500 01:08:36,045 --> 01:08:37,836 A SHOW. 1501 01:08:37,872 --> 01:08:40,164 NO WAY. COME ON. 1502 01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:41,599 I WANT TO SEE THIS INFAMOUS ROUTINE. 1503 01:08:41,634 --> 01:08:43,984 REALLY? 1504 01:08:44,020 --> 01:08:45,153 OKAY, BUT IF YOU LAUGH... 1505 01:08:48,174 --> 01:08:50,566 [heartfelt music] 1506 01:08:50,601 --> 01:08:58,332 ♪ ♪ 1507 01:09:29,106 --> 01:09:31,014 [O Tannenbaum playing in background] 1508 01:09:31,050 --> 01:09:32,717 THANK YOU. 1509 01:09:32,752 --> 01:09:34,844 [family chattering] 1510 01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:37,855 WARM BREAD. 1511 01:09:37,891 --> 01:09:39,048 YOUR TIE'S CROOKED. 1512 01:09:39,084 --> 01:09:40,216 YOU TIED IT. 1513 01:09:40,251 --> 01:09:41,292 IT'S STILL CROOKED. 1514 01:09:44,539 --> 01:09:46,339 OH! 1515 01:09:51,179 --> 01:09:53,345 MOM? HMM? 1516 01:09:53,380 --> 01:09:54,055 AREN'T YOU GONNA MAKE YOUR ANNUAL TOAST? 1517 01:09:57,218 --> 01:09:58,476 OH, I'M HUNGRY. LET'S JUST EAT. 1518 01:10:02,807 --> 01:10:04,690 UM, EXCUSE ME. 1519 01:10:04,726 --> 01:10:07,060 I, UH, I HAVE SOMETHING 1520 01:10:07,095 --> 01:10:08,336 I'D LIKE TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE. 1521 01:10:08,371 --> 01:10:11,263 ACTUALLY... 1522 01:10:11,298 --> 01:10:13,357 I HAVE SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO SAY FIRST. 1523 01:10:13,392 --> 01:10:15,034 IT'S ABOUT SCHOOL. 1524 01:10:15,069 --> 01:10:16,644 OH. 1525 01:10:16,679 --> 01:10:18,204 I'M NOT GOING TO LAW SCHOOL. 1526 01:10:20,809 --> 01:10:21,808 WHAT DID YOU SAY? 1527 01:10:21,843 --> 01:10:25,236 IT'S JUST NOT FOR ME. 1528 01:10:25,271 --> 01:10:26,754 I DROPPED OUT LAST SEMESTER. 1529 01:10:26,789 --> 01:10:28,422 LAST SEMESTER? 1530 01:10:28,458 --> 01:10:31,166 WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING 1531 01:10:31,202 --> 01:10:32,827 WITH ALL THE TUITION THAT I'VE BEEN SENDING? 1532 01:10:32,862 --> 01:10:35,004 I USED IT AS A DOWN PAYMENT. 1533 01:10:35,039 --> 01:10:37,548 DOWN PAYMENT. ON WHAT? 1534 01:10:37,583 --> 01:10:39,675 ON A PILATES STUDIO IN CALIFORNIA. 1535 01:10:39,710 --> 01:10:41,552 PILATES? 1536 01:10:41,587 --> 01:10:43,487 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 1537 01:10:43,522 --> 01:10:44,647 SOMEBODY TRANSLATE THAT. 1538 01:10:44,682 --> 01:10:49,335 DAD, IT'S GREAT. 1539 01:10:49,371 --> 01:10:50,319 IT'S A TYPE OF EXERCISE MIXING BALLET TECHNIQUES 1540 01:10:50,354 --> 01:10:52,663 WITH YOGA, USED TO STRETCH AND LENGTHEN THE MUSCLES. 1541 01:10:52,698 --> 01:10:55,975 MOVING TO THE LAND OF FRUITS AND NUTS. 1542 01:10:56,010 --> 01:10:56,884 GONNA LAY AROUND ALL DAY AND STRETCH. 1543 01:10:56,919 --> 01:10:59,520 [Katherine laughing] 1544 01:10:59,555 --> 01:11:02,749 I THINK IT'S VERY CREATIVE. 1545 01:11:02,784 --> 01:11:03,882 KUDOS, KATIE. 1546 01:11:03,918 --> 01:11:06,110 THANKS, MOM. 1547 01:11:06,145 --> 01:11:08,245 WHAT--WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1548 01:11:08,281 --> 01:11:10,573 OUR DAUGHTER'S JUST MADE A FOOL OUT OF US. 1549 01:11:10,608 --> 01:11:13,309 YEAH, YOU DID PUT ONE OVER ON US, DIDN'T YOU? 1550 01:11:13,344 --> 01:11:15,161 [Richard laughing nervously] 1551 01:11:15,196 --> 01:11:17,005 NO, YOU'RE NOT DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL. 1552 01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:18,755 NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT'S HAPPENING. 1553 01:11:18,791 --> 01:11:19,841 I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. 1554 01:11:19,876 --> 01:11:20,916 YOU'RE GONNA GET THE MONEY BACK. 1555 01:11:20,951 --> 01:11:23,360 AND YOU'RE GONNA RE-ENROLL. 1556 01:11:23,395 --> 01:11:25,354 OH, LIGHTEN UP, DICK. 1557 01:11:35,041 --> 01:11:37,107 UM, AHEM. 1558 01:11:37,143 --> 01:11:40,661 EVERYONE, I, UH, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING TOO. 1559 01:11:42,356 --> 01:11:44,307 I'M GAY. 1560 01:11:44,342 --> 01:11:45,808 [spitting] 1561 01:11:45,843 --> 01:11:47,693 [laughter] 1562 01:11:47,729 --> 01:11:48,711 OH, HONEY, I KNOW! 1563 01:12:03,778 --> 01:12:05,903 FOR GOD'S SAKE, KATHERINE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! 1564 01:12:05,938 --> 01:12:07,905 WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? 1565 01:12:07,940 --> 01:12:08,773 HUH? LET ME THINK. 1566 01:12:08,808 --> 01:12:12,509 UM, I HATE THE WAY YOU MOAN WHEN YOU CHEW YOUR FOOD. 1567 01:12:12,544 --> 01:12:14,136 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 1568 01:12:14,171 --> 01:12:16,647 [imitating Richard moaning] 1569 01:12:16,682 --> 01:12:17,965 IT'S DISGUSTING! 1570 01:12:18,001 --> 01:12:19,049 IT MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP. 1571 01:12:19,085 --> 01:12:21,452 AND ALSO I HATE THAT WE NEVER 1572 01:12:21,488 --> 01:12:23,396 TALK ABOUT ANYTHING IMPORTANT! 1573 01:12:23,431 --> 01:12:28,100 MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE WE ALL LIVE IN YOUR WORLD, KATHERINE. 1574 01:12:28,136 --> 01:12:30,002 A WORLD WHERE NOBODY CAN SAY ANYTHING HONEST 1575 01:12:30,038 --> 01:12:32,454 BECAUSE IT MIGHT BE UPSETTING! 1576 01:12:32,490 --> 01:12:35,550 YOU ARE THE PUPPET MASTER AND I AM YOUR LITTLE CLOWN! 1577 01:12:35,585 --> 01:12:37,092 BOO! 1578 01:12:37,128 --> 01:12:39,553 STOP IT! GOD, YOU TWO! 1579 01:12:39,589 --> 01:12:41,088 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 1580 01:12:41,123 --> 01:12:43,232 YOU THINK I'M CONTROLLING? 1581 01:12:43,234 --> 01:12:45,417 YOU ARE THE ASS WHO IS FORCING YOUR CHILDREN 1582 01:12:45,452 --> 01:12:46,953 TO BECOME MINI VERSIONS OF YOURSELF! 1583 01:12:46,988 --> 01:12:48,078 THIS ISN'T MY WORLD. 1584 01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:49,855 BECAUSE IF THIS WAS MY WORLD, 1585 01:12:49,890 --> 01:12:51,549 I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PICTURE CLINT EASTWOOD 1586 01:12:51,584 --> 01:12:53,651 JUST TO GET THROUGH OUR ANNUAL BIRTHDAY SEX! 1587 01:12:53,686 --> 01:12:55,277 OH! 1588 01:13:10,553 --> 01:13:11,794 AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU'RE GAY? 1589 01:13:13,815 --> 01:13:15,864 EVERYBODY FREEZE! 1590 01:13:15,900 --> 01:13:17,983 [family shouting] 1591 01:13:18,019 --> 01:13:19,568 FREEZE! CALM DOWN, EVERYBODY. 1592 01:13:19,603 --> 01:13:21,495 JUST RELAX. 1593 01:13:21,530 --> 01:13:22,313 WAIT. WHAT IS GOING ON? 1594 01:13:22,348 --> 01:13:25,191 REASON TO BELIEVE THAT WOMAN IS GUILTY OF KIDNAPPING. 1595 01:13:25,226 --> 01:13:26,400 THAT CAN'T BE. THAT'S ABSURD. 1596 01:13:26,435 --> 01:13:28,444 KIDNAPPING? WHO? 1597 01:13:28,480 --> 01:13:29,912 DAVID MARTIN. 1598 01:13:29,947 --> 01:13:34,858 WHO'S DAVID MARTIN? 1599 01:13:34,894 --> 01:13:38,087 NO, THAT'S HER BOYFRIEND, NICK. 1600 01:13:38,122 --> 01:13:41,365 NO, MOM. IT'S NOT. 1601 01:13:44,870 --> 01:13:46,787 I'M NOT HER BOYFRIEND. 1602 01:13:50,118 --> 01:13:52,142 (Jake) THIS IS GETTING WEIRD. 1603 01:13:52,178 --> 01:13:55,254 I DON'T KNOW WHO BROUGHT HOME THE BACON, 1604 01:13:55,290 --> 01:13:56,555 BUT I'M GONNA FRY IT UP IN A PAN! 1605 01:13:56,591 --> 01:13:59,533 MOTHER, NO! 1606 01:13:59,568 --> 01:14:00,851 SOMEBODY HAS TO PROTECT THIS FAMILY, 1607 01:14:00,886 --> 01:14:02,094 AND IT LOOKS AS THOUGH IT'S GOT TO BE ME! 1608 01:14:02,130 --> 01:14:03,671 MA'AM, PUT THE GUN DOWN. 1609 01:14:03,706 --> 01:14:05,314 SHE HAVING A CIVIL WAR FLASHBACK? 1610 01:14:05,349 --> 01:14:06,848 SHE'S JUST HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH EGGNOG. 1611 01:14:06,884 --> 01:14:09,043 UM, SHE'S AN ACTRESS. 1612 01:14:09,078 --> 01:14:10,861 AND THE GUN IS PROBABLY JUST A PROP. 1613 01:14:10,896 --> 01:14:13,305 YOU TAKE THE BIG ONE. 1614 01:14:13,340 --> 01:14:14,773 DOLORES. 1615 01:14:16,903 --> 01:14:19,603 OH. 1616 01:14:19,638 --> 01:14:21,280 OH... 1617 01:14:23,851 --> 01:14:27,286 I-I WAS ON BROADWAY ONCE. 1618 01:14:29,715 --> 01:14:32,416 I KNOW. [sobbing] 1619 01:14:36,914 --> 01:14:39,548 MERRY CHRISTMAS. 1620 01:14:48,651 --> 01:14:51,218 [blues-rock music playing] 1621 01:14:51,253 --> 01:14:55,022 ♪ ♪ 1622 01:14:55,058 --> 01:14:58,325 ♪ YOU WERE THE PRESENT ♪ 1623 01:14:58,360 --> 01:15:02,479 ♪ UNDER MY TREE... ♪ 1624 01:15:02,514 --> 01:15:04,540 MOM-- 1625 01:15:04,576 --> 01:15:07,000 KIDNAPPING? 1626 01:15:07,036 --> 01:15:08,578 KIDNAPPING?! 1627 01:15:08,613 --> 01:15:09,837 MOM, LOOK AT ME. 1628 01:15:09,872 --> 01:15:12,756 WHERE DID I GO WRONG? 1629 01:15:12,791 --> 01:15:14,241 WAS I NOT GOOD MOTHER? 1630 01:15:14,276 --> 01:15:15,467 YEAH, OF COURSE YOU WERE. 1631 01:15:15,502 --> 01:15:16,719 THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. 1632 01:15:16,754 --> 01:15:18,421 NO, WE WON'T TALK ABOUT IT. 1633 01:15:18,456 --> 01:15:19,997 DAD-- 1634 01:15:20,032 --> 01:15:22,049 NOT NOW, TRUDIE. 1635 01:15:26,205 --> 01:15:28,598 POOR SCHMUCK DIDN'T PRESS CHARGES. 1636 01:15:28,633 --> 01:15:31,667 [door buzzer] 1637 01:15:31,703 --> 01:15:33,085 YOU'RE FREE TO GO. 1638 01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:33,936 (Dolores) THANK GOD. 1639 01:15:40,645 --> 01:15:41,694 (Katie) BYE. 1640 01:15:47,885 --> 01:15:51,078 UH, NOT YOU, GRAMBO. 1641 01:15:51,113 --> 01:15:54,115 WHY, OFFICER! 1642 01:15:54,150 --> 01:15:57,051 WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND? 1643 01:15:57,086 --> 01:15:59,377 (female officer) ONE CHANGE PURSE. 1644 01:15:59,413 --> 01:16:01,347 ONE CAN OPENER/KEYCHAIN. 1645 01:16:01,382 --> 01:16:03,958 COMES IN HANDIER THAN YOU THINK. 1646 01:16:03,993 --> 01:16:08,354 ONE--HOLY CRAP! LOOK AT THAT ROCK. 1647 01:16:08,389 --> 01:16:10,139 GIRL, YOU HOLD ON TO THAT MAN. 1648 01:16:13,636 --> 01:16:16,311 YEAH. 1649 01:16:16,347 --> 01:16:19,974 ♪ ONE DAY I'LL WALK IN ♪ 1650 01:16:20,009 --> 01:16:23,753 ♪ HAND IN HAND ♪ 1651 01:16:23,788 --> 01:16:28,015 ♪ IN THE SUN AND ♪ 1652 01:16:28,050 --> 01:16:33,871 ♪ YOU AND I ARE TALKING ♪ 1653 01:16:33,906 --> 01:16:36,766 ♪ REALIZE ♪ 1654 01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:43,013 ♪ WE'VE BEGUN... ♪ 1655 01:16:43,049 --> 01:16:44,431 HI. 1656 01:16:44,467 --> 01:16:45,799 HEY. 1657 01:16:45,834 --> 01:16:50,396 JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS FOR NOT PRESSING CHARGES. 1658 01:16:50,431 --> 01:16:54,675 I CAN'T SAY I EVER IMAGINED SAYING THAT IN A SENTENCE. 1659 01:16:54,710 --> 01:16:57,586 HEH. IS--IS EVERYONE OKAY? 1660 01:16:57,622 --> 01:16:59,313 YEAH, THEY'RE FINE. 1661 01:16:59,348 --> 01:17:01,974 THEY'RE NOT TOO HAPPY WITH ME RIGHT NOW. 1662 01:17:02,009 --> 01:17:05,552 I REALLY DID IT THIS TIME. 1663 01:17:05,587 --> 01:17:06,687 I WANTED TO GIVE THIS BACK TO YOU. 1664 01:17:06,722 --> 01:17:09,423 THANKS. 1665 01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:12,275 LISTEN... 1666 01:17:12,311 --> 01:17:15,712 THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS SORT OF CONFUSING. 1667 01:17:15,747 --> 01:17:16,989 BUT I WANTED TO SAY-- 1668 01:17:17,024 --> 01:17:19,082 DAVID, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, HONEY. 1669 01:17:19,118 --> 01:17:21,185 UH, GIVE ME ONE MINUTE, OKAY? 1670 01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:23,187 WHO'S THIS? 1671 01:17:23,222 --> 01:17:26,531 IS THIS HER? 1672 01:17:26,567 --> 01:17:27,866 YOU HAVE SOME NERVE. 1673 01:17:27,901 --> 01:17:29,760 LOOK, I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE 1674 01:17:29,796 --> 01:17:31,353 AGAIN TO BOTH OF YOU-- SAVE IT. 1675 01:17:31,388 --> 01:17:32,930 YOU AND YOUR BAND OF HOOLIGANS 1676 01:17:32,965 --> 01:17:34,456 WOULD STILL BE IN JAIL IF IT WERE UP TO ME. 1677 01:17:34,492 --> 01:17:36,558 LET'S GO. 1678 01:17:40,172 --> 01:17:41,605 I, UH-- 1679 01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:42,690 DAVID. 1680 01:17:47,905 --> 01:17:49,113 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 1681 01:17:49,148 --> 01:17:51,699 YEAH, YOU TOO. 1682 01:18:00,634 --> 01:18:04,720 ♪ I AM NOT CRAZY ♪ 1683 01:18:04,756 --> 01:18:07,631 ♪ AND I ♪ 1684 01:18:07,667 --> 01:18:10,926 ♪ I KNOW WHAT WE HAVE KNOWN... ♪ 1685 01:18:15,991 --> 01:18:19,226 SURE YOU DON'T WANT YOUR OLD JOB BACK? 1686 01:18:19,261 --> 01:18:21,145 YOU WANT LUNCH? 1687 01:18:21,180 --> 01:18:22,220 SURE. 1688 01:18:22,255 --> 01:18:25,357 HERE. 1689 01:18:25,392 --> 01:18:26,500 WHAT ABOUT TAJ? 1690 01:18:26,535 --> 01:18:28,344 OH, PLEASE. 1691 01:18:28,379 --> 01:18:30,304 YOU KNOW, HE'S A SOFTY UNDER ALL THAT BLUSTER. 1692 01:18:30,339 --> 01:18:31,922 BESIDES, WE'VE REACHED A NEW STAGE 1693 01:18:31,957 --> 01:18:33,056 IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. 1694 01:18:33,091 --> 01:18:34,291 OH, WHAT'S THAT? PARTNERS. 1695 01:18:34,327 --> 01:18:35,609 THAT'S GREAT! 1696 01:18:35,644 --> 01:18:38,345 THANK YOU, YEAH. 1697 01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:40,589 SO HOW'S THE REAL JOB SEARCH GOING? 1698 01:18:40,625 --> 01:18:42,457 NOT SO GREAT. 1699 01:18:42,493 --> 01:18:43,784 APPARENTLY I HAVE NO REAL SKILLS. 1700 01:18:43,819 --> 01:18:45,703 MM-HMM. 1701 01:18:45,738 --> 01:18:47,930 I DON'T KNOW. MY PARENTS ARE RIGHT. 1702 01:18:47,965 --> 01:18:50,298 I HAVE TO BE REALISTIC. 1703 01:18:50,334 --> 01:18:51,633 I CAN'T JUST WISH FOR SOMETHING 1704 01:18:51,669 --> 01:18:53,218 THAT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. 1705 01:18:53,253 --> 01:18:55,612 THERE IS NO PERFECT JOB, PERFECT FAMILY... 1706 01:18:55,647 --> 01:18:57,173 PERFECT GUY. 1707 01:18:57,208 --> 01:18:58,148 SO YOU HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM THEN? 1708 01:18:58,184 --> 01:19:00,217 NO. 1709 01:19:00,252 --> 01:19:02,035 SEE, THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 1710 01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:03,019 I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY THOUGHT I HAD FEELINGS 1711 01:19:03,055 --> 01:19:05,230 FOR SOME GUY I KIDNAPPED. 1712 01:19:05,265 --> 01:19:06,482 I MEAN, WHAT DID I THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN? 1713 01:19:12,973 --> 01:19:14,239 [gasps] 1714 01:19:28,973 --> 01:19:30,214 I LIKE THE NUPTIAL SCRIPT. 1715 01:19:30,249 --> 01:19:33,075 ALL RIGHT, DONE. 1716 01:19:33,110 --> 01:19:36,178 WHERE IS MARIA WITH THE NEXT DRESS? 1717 01:19:36,213 --> 01:19:38,338 MARIA, WE HAVE THREE MORE DRESSES TO GO! 1718 01:19:38,373 --> 01:19:39,556 WHERE ARE YOU? 1719 01:19:52,371 --> 01:19:53,362 DO YOU LIKE THAT FONT? 1720 01:19:54,681 --> 01:19:57,216 DAVID! 1721 01:19:57,251 --> 01:19:58,717 THE FONT. 1722 01:19:58,752 --> 01:20:01,011 UH, AHEM. 1723 01:20:01,046 --> 01:20:02,562 I'M SORRY. 1724 01:20:02,598 --> 01:20:04,464 I-I NEED SOME AIR. 1725 01:20:04,500 --> 01:20:06,166 OH. 1726 01:20:16,545 --> 01:20:18,470 HEY. 1727 01:20:18,505 --> 01:20:20,872 HEY. 1728 01:20:20,907 --> 01:20:22,683 IT CAN BE A BIT OVERWHELMING IN THERE. 1729 01:20:22,718 --> 01:20:24,009 YOU DON'T SAY. 1730 01:20:24,044 --> 01:20:25,360 (Jessica) YOU ALL RIGHT? 1731 01:20:25,395 --> 01:20:28,097 YEAH. YEAH, I'M FINE. 1732 01:20:28,132 --> 01:20:29,940 WELL, WE NEED YOU INSIDE. 1733 01:20:29,975 --> 01:20:31,358 OKAY. 1734 01:20:35,814 --> 01:20:38,748 UH, JESS, UM... 1735 01:20:38,784 --> 01:20:40,633 DO YOU, UH... 1736 01:20:40,669 --> 01:20:42,444 EVER HAVE ANY DOUBTS ABOUT US? 1737 01:20:42,479 --> 01:20:44,729 WHAT? 1738 01:20:44,765 --> 01:20:47,575 WELL, IT'S JUST THAT 1739 01:20:47,610 --> 01:20:49,534 YOU COULD BE WITH ANY NUMBER OF GUYS. 1740 01:20:49,569 --> 01:20:51,845 WHY ME? 1741 01:20:51,880 --> 01:20:54,390 BECAUSE WE MAKE SENSE. 1742 01:20:54,425 --> 01:20:57,818 AND WE'RE GONNA LEAD A LIFE THAT MOST PEOPLE DREAM OF. 1743 01:20:57,853 --> 01:20:59,420 ALL RIGHT, YOU AND I 1744 01:20:59,455 --> 01:21:00,979 ARE GONNA HAVE A FAIRY TALE WEDDING 1745 01:21:01,014 --> 01:21:02,931 AND A FAIRY TALE LIFE. 1746 01:21:08,422 --> 01:21:10,397 (Mrs. Barber) MARIA! 1747 01:21:10,432 --> 01:21:12,608 I HATE MY LIFE. 1748 01:21:37,276 --> 01:21:40,669 [cell phone rings] 1749 01:21:40,704 --> 01:21:42,196 HELLO. 1750 01:21:42,231 --> 01:21:43,555 TRUD, HEY, IT'S ME. 1751 01:21:43,590 --> 01:21:45,007 HEY. 1752 01:21:45,042 --> 01:21:46,191 HOW'S IT GOING? 1753 01:21:46,226 --> 01:21:47,426 OH, I'VE BEEN BETTER. 1754 01:21:47,461 --> 01:21:49,452 DID YOU TALK TO MOM AND DAD YET? 1755 01:21:49,488 --> 01:21:52,005 NO, I'VE BEEN AVOIDING THEM. 1756 01:21:52,040 --> 01:21:53,798 TRUD, YOU SHOULD CALL THEM. 1757 01:21:53,834 --> 01:21:56,134 OH, MY GOD, JAKE. 1758 01:21:56,169 --> 01:21:58,194 I'M JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW, 1759 01:21:58,230 --> 01:21:59,579 BE THE BIGGER PERSON-- 1760 01:21:59,615 --> 01:22:01,390 NO, NO, NO. 1761 01:22:01,425 --> 01:22:02,807 I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO A SHOW AT GALLERY 717. 1762 01:22:02,843 --> 01:22:03,942 WOW, THAT'S GREAT. 1763 01:22:03,977 --> 01:22:05,402 IT'S A NEW ARTIST EXHIBIT. 1764 01:22:05,437 --> 01:22:06,378 THEY WANT A PIECE FROM ME. 1765 01:22:06,413 --> 01:22:08,455 TRUD, THAT'S FANTASTIC. 1766 01:22:08,490 --> 01:22:09,590 WHEN IS IT? 1767 01:22:09,625 --> 01:22:11,925 A WEEK FROM SATURDAY. WILL YOU COME WITH ME, PLEASE? 1768 01:22:11,960 --> 01:22:13,819 YES, OF COURSE I WILL. 1769 01:22:13,854 --> 01:22:16,254 ARE YOU GONNA TELL MOM AND DAD? 1770 01:22:16,289 --> 01:22:18,498 NO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH THEM. 1771 01:22:18,534 --> 01:22:19,967 I JUST WANT THIS TO BE MY NIGHT, YOU KNOW? 1772 01:22:37,244 --> 01:22:38,318 [exhales] 1773 01:22:44,577 --> 01:22:46,777 (Jake) TRUD? 1774 01:22:46,812 --> 01:22:48,821 I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE. 1775 01:22:48,856 --> 01:22:50,130 I WOULDN'T MISS IT FOR THE WORLD. 1776 01:22:50,165 --> 01:22:51,798 SO, UM, THIS IS RYAN. 1777 01:22:51,834 --> 01:22:54,000 HI. 1778 01:22:54,036 --> 01:22:55,960 JAKE, YOU DIDN'T DO HER JUSTICE. 1779 01:22:55,996 --> 01:22:57,913 IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU. 1780 01:22:57,948 --> 01:22:58,714 SO LISTEN, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS. 1781 01:22:58,749 --> 01:23:01,041 I DON'T KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT THE PIECE, 1782 01:23:01,076 --> 01:23:01,766 SO GO OVER AND EAVESDROP FOR ME. 1783 01:23:01,802 --> 01:23:04,453 OKAY, OKAY. 1784 01:23:04,488 --> 01:23:06,588 BUT LISTEN, UM... THERE IS ONE OTHER THING. 1785 01:23:06,623 --> 01:23:07,898 WHAT? 1786 01:23:07,933 --> 01:23:09,658 NOW DON'T FREAK OUT, 1787 01:23:09,694 --> 01:23:11,852 BUT I, UH, I BROUGHT A FEW MORE PEOPLE WITH ME. 1788 01:23:18,084 --> 01:23:22,821 I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT THEM HERE. 1789 01:23:22,856 --> 01:23:24,782 I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO THIS TONIGHT, OKAY? 1790 01:23:24,817 --> 01:23:25,765 I WON'T DO THIS. 1791 01:23:25,801 --> 01:23:27,609 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT 1792 01:23:27,645 --> 01:23:28,977 I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THE BLACK SHEEP, 1793 01:23:29,012 --> 01:23:29,878 THE WEIRD ONE, THE WRONG ONE, OKAY? 1794 01:23:29,913 --> 01:23:32,322 OKAY. WE HEAR YOU. 1795 01:23:32,357 --> 01:23:33,965 WHAT? 1796 01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:36,184 YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE FOUND 1797 01:23:36,220 --> 01:23:38,387 THAT KEEPING OPEN LINES OF HONEST COMMUNICATION 1798 01:23:38,389 --> 01:23:39,579 IS THE ONLY WAY TO RESTORE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. 1799 01:23:39,614 --> 01:23:41,714 WHAT? 1800 01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:42,507 THEY'VE BEEN IN THERAPY. 1801 01:23:45,220 --> 01:23:47,445 IT REALLY IS WORKING. 1802 01:23:47,481 --> 01:23:50,782 SO...WHAT ELSE, HONEY? JUST LET IT OUT. 1803 01:23:50,817 --> 01:23:52,826 I'M TIRED OF TRYING 1804 01:23:52,862 --> 01:23:55,119 TO LIVE UP TO YOUR IDEALS, YOU KNOW? 1805 01:23:55,155 --> 01:23:56,213 AND I WON'T LIVE MY LIFE TO PLEASE YOU. 1806 01:23:56,248 --> 01:23:58,265 I MEAN, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO I AM. 1807 01:23:58,300 --> 01:23:59,491 MM-HMM. 1808 01:23:59,527 --> 01:24:00,801 I'M A SLOB. 1809 01:24:00,836 --> 01:24:03,170 I MEAN, SOMETIMES IF I LEAVE A DISH IN THE SINK TOO LONG 1810 01:24:03,205 --> 01:24:04,421 I JUST THROW IT AWAY 1811 01:24:04,456 --> 01:24:05,689 INSTEAD OF WASHING IT. 1812 01:24:05,724 --> 01:24:06,673 AND, MOM, I HATE PINK. I HATE IT. 1813 01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:07,999 AND I DON'T WANT A JOB 1814 01:24:08,034 --> 01:24:09,676 IN COMPUTER SALES, DAD. 1815 01:24:09,712 --> 01:24:11,303 YOU KNOW, I'M AN ARTIST. THAT'S WHO I AM. 1816 01:24:11,338 --> 01:24:13,555 AND I LOVE YOU GUYS, 1817 01:24:13,591 --> 01:24:14,672 BUT IF YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN ME AND YOU, 1818 01:24:14,708 --> 01:24:15,824 I CHOOSE ME. 1819 01:24:15,859 --> 01:24:18,910 OKAY! 1820 01:24:18,945 --> 01:24:21,188 OKAY? 1821 01:24:21,223 --> 01:24:24,015 YES, OKAY. 1822 01:24:24,051 --> 01:24:25,667 WE HEAR YOU. 1823 01:24:25,702 --> 01:24:26,635 OKAY. 1824 01:24:29,523 --> 01:24:32,733 YOU KNOW, WE WORRY ABOUT YOU, KIDDO. 1825 01:24:32,768 --> 01:24:33,634 WE DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT. 1826 01:24:33,669 --> 01:24:35,126 WE WANT YOU TO BE SAFE. 1827 01:24:35,161 --> 01:24:36,153 I MEAN, IF I COULD, I'D HAVE YOU LIVE 1828 01:24:36,188 --> 01:24:36,895 INSIDE OF A PLASTIC BUBBLE. 1829 01:24:36,930 --> 01:24:39,089 BUT I WAS TOLD THAT'S A LITTLE TOO IMPRACTICAL. 1830 01:24:39,124 --> 01:24:40,399 AND WE NEVER MEANT TO MAKE YOU FEEL 1831 01:24:40,434 --> 01:24:43,827 WEIRD OR WRONG. 1832 01:24:43,863 --> 01:24:44,820 WE LOVE YOU. 1833 01:24:46,782 --> 01:24:50,450 AND WHATEVER YOU WANT, THAT'S WHAT WE WANT FOR YOU. 1834 01:24:57,668 --> 01:24:58,834 THANKS, DAD. 1835 01:24:58,869 --> 01:25:00,460 OH, COME HERE. 1836 01:25:03,056 --> 01:25:04,155 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. 1837 01:25:04,191 --> 01:25:04,798 I LOVE YOU TOO, MOM. 1838 01:25:08,019 --> 01:25:09,511 LITTLE SIS. 1839 01:25:17,020 --> 01:25:19,404 I LOVE YOUR PAINTINGS. I LOVE-- 1840 01:25:19,439 --> 01:25:22,082 THE COMPOSITIONS ARE AMAZING. 1841 01:25:22,117 --> 01:25:26,136 [patrons chattering] 1842 01:25:26,171 --> 01:25:28,529 I'LL BE BACK, I'LL BE BACK. 1843 01:25:28,565 --> 01:25:29,239 IT'S GREAT TO MEET YOU. 1844 01:25:33,536 --> 01:25:35,737 YOU OKAY, SWEETHEART? 1845 01:25:35,772 --> 01:25:37,531 SOMEONE BOUGHT IT. 1846 01:25:37,566 --> 01:25:41,785 I KNOW. IT'S WONDERFUL. 1847 01:25:41,820 --> 01:25:43,786 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 1848 01:25:43,822 --> 01:25:46,164 JUST FEELS DIFFERENT THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. 1849 01:25:46,199 --> 01:25:48,065 OH, HOW? 1850 01:25:48,101 --> 01:25:49,676 I DON'T KNOW, IT'S JUST-- 1851 01:25:49,711 --> 01:25:51,903 NICK? 1852 01:25:51,939 --> 01:25:55,290 NO, NOT NICK. WELL, MAYBE. 1853 01:25:55,325 --> 01:25:56,383 WELL, NO, I MEAN, IT'S NOT NICK, IT'S DAVID. 1854 01:25:56,418 --> 01:25:58,927 IT'S STUPID IS WHAT IT IS. 1855 01:25:58,962 --> 01:25:59,978 IT IS NOT STUPID. 1856 01:26:04,793 --> 01:26:06,935 IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW, 1857 01:26:06,970 --> 01:26:08,779 IT'S THE CORROSIVE NATURE OF SILENCE 1858 01:26:08,814 --> 01:26:10,564 LEADS TO REGRET. 1859 01:26:10,599 --> 01:26:13,066 AND IT'LL EAT AWAY AT YOU BIT BY BIT. 1860 01:26:13,102 --> 01:26:14,818 LOOK AT YOUR DAD AND ME. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE. 1861 01:26:14,853 --> 01:26:19,339 ACTUALLY, IT IS. 1862 01:26:19,374 --> 01:26:20,832 HE GOT MARRIED TODAY. 1863 01:26:24,070 --> 01:26:25,253 CHEERS. 1864 01:26:44,908 --> 01:26:46,783 HEY, HEY! 1865 01:26:46,819 --> 01:26:48,410 [struggling] 1866 01:26:48,445 --> 01:26:50,720 JUST SO YOU KNOW, I HAVE A BLACK BELT, 1867 01:26:50,755 --> 01:26:52,831 AND MY HANDS ARE CONSIDERED LETHAL WEAPONS. 1868 01:26:52,866 --> 01:26:54,249 (David) OOH, SCARY. 1869 01:26:54,284 --> 01:26:56,626 (Trudie) DAVID? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 1870 01:26:56,661 --> 01:26:58,511 PAYBACK. IT'S A BITCH. 1871 01:26:58,546 --> 01:27:02,240 AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE ON YOUR HONEYMOON OR SOMETHING? 1872 01:27:02,276 --> 01:27:04,275 OKAY, HOW ABOUT I TAKE THAT BLINDFOLD OFF NOW? 1873 01:27:04,311 --> 01:27:06,461 HUH? HOW'D THAT BE? 1874 01:27:08,882 --> 01:27:11,383 WOW. WHERE ARE WE? 1875 01:27:14,204 --> 01:27:17,939 TRUDIE, YOU ARE... 1876 01:27:17,974 --> 01:27:20,291 UNORGANIZED, AND PUSHY, 1877 01:27:20,327 --> 01:27:22,861 AND CRAZY. 1878 01:27:22,896 --> 01:27:24,304 I KNOW, AND I'M WORKING ON THOSE THINGS. 1879 01:27:24,339 --> 01:27:25,329 AND IF YOU'LL JUST LISTEN TO ME-- 1880 01:27:25,365 --> 01:27:26,606 AND YOU TALK TOO MUCH. OKAY. 1881 01:27:30,086 --> 01:27:33,271 I LOST A LOT BECAUSE OF YOU. 1882 01:27:33,306 --> 01:27:34,973 BUT I'VE REALIZED 1883 01:27:35,008 --> 01:27:35,882 THAT I DON'T WANT ANY OF THOSE THINGS. 1884 01:27:35,917 --> 01:27:38,576 WAIT. YOU DON'T? 1885 01:27:42,024 --> 01:27:44,332 EVERYTHING I WANT... IS RIGHT HERE. 1886 01:27:47,020 --> 01:27:51,055 MARTIN ART AND ARCHITECTURE. 1887 01:27:51,090 --> 01:27:54,100 A GALLERY AND A STUDIO. 1888 01:27:54,135 --> 01:27:58,146 WOW. IT'S AMAZING. 1889 01:27:58,181 --> 01:28:00,265 AND I'VE JUST ACQUIRED MY FIRST PIECE. 1890 01:28:08,550 --> 01:28:09,858 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 1891 01:28:09,893 --> 01:28:11,651 THAT'S A FIRST. 1892 01:28:17,626 --> 01:28:19,542 I'VE SPENT MY ENTIRE LIFE STRIVING FOR THINGS 1893 01:28:19,577 --> 01:28:21,427 THAT I DIDN'T EVEN WANT, 1894 01:28:21,463 --> 01:28:23,196 BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. 1895 01:28:23,231 --> 01:28:25,549 I THOUGHT I HAD SOMETHING TO PROVE. 1896 01:28:25,584 --> 01:28:29,644 BUT I DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING TO ANYONE ANYMORE. 1897 01:28:29,679 --> 01:28:32,497 YOU DON'T? 1898 01:28:32,532 --> 01:28:35,984 WELL... 1899 01:28:36,019 --> 01:28:37,427 MAYBE ONE MORE THING. 1900 01:28:55,238 --> 01:28:57,530 CAN YOU TAKE THESE OFF ME NOW? 1901 01:29:07,901 --> 01:29:10,935 (Trudie) THERE MAY BE NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT JOB, 1902 01:29:10,971 --> 01:29:13,646 A PERFECT FAMILY, OR A PERFECT LIFE. 1903 01:29:13,682 --> 01:29:16,065 BUT THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A PERFECT MOMENT. 1904 01:29:16,101 --> 01:29:17,726 SO I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID. 1905 01:29:17,761 --> 01:29:22,096 DOING ONE CRAZY THING PROBABLY DOES MAKE YOU CRAZY, 1906 01:29:22,132 --> 01:29:24,132 BUT IT CAN ALSO MAKE YOU HAPPY.