1
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:22,000
 

2
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,400
¶ When we're winning ¶

3
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,300
¶ We'll be singing ¶

4
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,400
¶ I get knocked down
but I get up again ¶

5
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,100
¶ You're never gonna
keep me down ¶

6
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,100
¶ I get knocked down
but I get up again ¶

7
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,000
¶ You're never gonna
keep me down ¶

8
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,400
¶ I get knocked down
but I get up again ¶

9
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,600
¶ You're never gonna
keep me down ¶

10
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:04,900
¶ I get knocked down ¶¶

11
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:08,400
Halloween just got awesome, bitches!

12
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,400
Prepare for the entrance of Lord Vader.

13
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:15,000
Give yourself to the Dark Side.

14
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:18,000
It's the only way you can save-

15
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,000
You wore the same thing last year.

16
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:23,400
- You son of a bitch.
- I'm sorry, guys. My codpiece is killing me.

17
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,000
It's totally restricting my junk.

18
00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:28,300
You're gonna spill it or fill it, dude?

19
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,100
Zoe.

20
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,600
- Hi.
- Oh, my God. It's been a long time.

21
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:35,200
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

22
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:39,200
You are...
something with tampons.

23
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,300
I'm Picasso's Blue Period.

24
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:44,500
- Get it? Blue Period.
- Hmm.

25
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,700
And you are?
Corporate sleaze?

26
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,800
Car salesman.

27
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,100
I came straight from work, so this is-

28
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,300
- Weak as usual, Bottler.
- Thank you.

29
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,000
Are you here
for a reunion with the boys?

30
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,400
Nope. That's just a pleasant surprise.

31
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:00,900
Watch the cape, uh, uh-

32
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:03,800
Well, enter at your own risk.

33
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,900
Oh, my God.

34
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,300
You guys have both got to stop
perpetuating this myth...

35
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,100
that Boba Fett is some kind of bad-ass.

36
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,800
All right? He has a jet pack.
So did the Rocketeer.

37
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,800
- Really cool.
- Here we go.

38
00:03:16,900 --> 00:03:20,300
When it comes time for battle, the man's
Michael Bay- all style, no substance.

39
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,500
If you diss the Fett again...

40
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,500
I will corn-hole you with a light saber!

41
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,800
¶ Whoop, there it is ¶

42
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:28,700
- Jesus. Is that Bottler?
- ¶ Whoop, there it is ¶

43
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:30,200
- Hey, guys.
- ¶ Whoop, there it is ¶

44
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:35,100
¶ Whoop, there it is ¶

45
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,900
You got a lot of nerve
showing your face around here.

46
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,200
Give Daddy a huggy.

47
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,700
- Yeah!
- Stop.

48
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,800
You little bastard, I missed you.

49
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:50,700
I hope that's just your blaster poking me.

50
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:54,500
- God, it's been parsecs.
- Yeah, it's good to see you too, man.

51
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,900
- Linus.
- Hmm.

52
00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:01,700
- It's been, like, a year now, right?
- Three.

53
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:05,600
- You still drawing?
- No. I bailed on that shit after high school.

54
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,200
- How's life in the auto trade?
- Still second in command to the old man.

55
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:10,900
Um, you?

56
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,000
Comic book store's still afloat...

57
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,200
but the geeks aren't biting
like the old days.

58
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:20,000
- You?
- Get my money together so I can
start my detailing business.

59
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,000
I'm gonna call it the Hutch Touch.

60
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:26,600
That's funny. I could've sworn you were
delivering pizza and living in your mom's garage.

61
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,200
It's not a garage.

62
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:30,600
It's a carriage house.

63
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,700
Carriage house.

64
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:36,400
- How is your carriage?

65
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,600
Ah! Ah! Ah!

66
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:47,100
Hey, uh, have any of you guys
seen the phone jack?

67
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,800
Uh, no, but I have seen
the social retard...

68
00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:53,000
who brought his Toughbook to a party.

69
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:57,000
- I promised Rogue Leader
I'd write her back tonight.
- Oh, God.

70
00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,000
- She is my girlfriend.
- On-line girlfriend.

71
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,600
I met her in a Jedi chat room.
The woman is perfect.

72
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:08,800
She's intelligent and acerbic and, uh-
and a die-hard fan.

73
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,000
She's even got connections
inside the Lucas camp.

74
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,300
Who's also got
a man package and a goatee.

75
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,000
You guys are all just jealous
because she describes herself...

76
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,100
as a cross between
Sarah Michelle Gellar...

77
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,100
- and Janeane Garofalo.

78
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,900
Tell 'em how you described yourself.

79
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,200
I was perfectly honest with her.

80
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:26,800
- You said you looked like
a white Billy Dee Williams.

81
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,300
You called yourself white chocolate.

82
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,200
I am white chocolate.

83
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,500
Oh, oh! Windows, it's my turn.

84
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,800
- Give it to me.
- Midnight. Another day down.

85
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,000
Ah! Okay.

86
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:41,100
Official Episode I countdown...

87
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:45,500
is six months, 12 days,
eight hours and some change.

88
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,300
I would sell my soul to see
that movie right here right now.

89
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:51,800
Dude, I would sell my left nut.
And I only have the one nut.

90
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:57,100
- So you see how serious I am?
- I cannot listen to this shit
for another six months.

91
00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,700
Oh, shush your mouth, woman.
You know, we could see the movie.

92
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,900
¶¶

93
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:08,100
- Oh, please, not this again.
- Oh, yes, please, this again.

94
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,700
"Tell us about
the rabbits, George. George."

95
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,700
Imagine.

96
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,000
Okay?

97
00:06:14,100 --> 00:06:18,200
We drive across the country in one night.

98
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:23,100
We break into the Skywalker Ranch...

99
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,400
and steal ourselves a print.

100
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:30,000
- Yeah!

101
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:33,200
You guys have been talking about this
since the fifth grade, okay?

102
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,800
- It's not gonna happen.
- Why the hell not?

103
00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:37,900
Well, first of all, it's 2,000 miles away.

104
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,200
Second of all, even if you could get there,
you'd be arrested.

105
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,400
It's been a blast, Bottler.

106
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:47,200
Way to douche up the party.

107
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,500
Nothing is impossible.

108
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:58,100
And I'll guarantee I'll find you a new
or used car, or my name isn't Big Chuck.

109
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,200
- Right, girls?
- Ooh-hoo!

110
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:02,900
Hoo!

111
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,500
Yeah!

112
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,100
All right!

113
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:10,500
Attaboy, Eric.
Now, see, that's some slick advertising.

114
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:11,900
Thanks, Pop.

115
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,300
Reminds me of, what, that
Terry Bruckheimer movies.

116
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,100
Yeah. Top Gun.

117
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,900
- Thanks.
- Hiya, Eric.

118
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,600
I'll handle this, Myron.
Thanks.

119
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,400
- Hey.
- We're in the market for some used droids.

120
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,500
I should start you guys off
with a new set of wheels first...

121
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:35,200
unless you're cool riding
around in the same rusted old shit box...

122
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,200
you've had since the 10th grade.

123
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,300
Hey, hey, hey!

124
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,600
She may not look like much,
but she's got it where it counts.

125
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:45,100
Uh, why are you guys here?

126
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,500
Do you wanna look around the lot a little bit,
drive something? What?

127
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,200
No. Uh, we came to talk about Linus.

128
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,800
Well, he just needs to realize
that people lose touch.

129
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:55,300
- That's just kind of the way things work.
- He's dying, Eric.

130
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,400
- What?
- He's got cancer, man.

131
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:04,200
He's tried everything to get better,
but nothing seems to work.

132
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:07,300
Odds say three, four months maybe.

133
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,600
And you guys are telling me this now?

134
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,700
We wanted to tell you
months ago, honestly...

135
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,600
but Linus made us promise
not to say anything.

136
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:18,500
The way we see it, you guys have been
best friends since, like, first grade.

137
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:22,100
So we figured you got the right to know.
You got the right to make your peace.

138
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:26,300
How am I supposed to make my peace
when the guy doesn't even want me to know?

139
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,200
With all due respect, Eric,
this isn't about you.

140
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,600
- I-You know what?
- Holy shit.

141
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:38,600
- Jesus Christ.
- If it ain't C-3Penis Face and R2-Dickhead.

142
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:40,700
What did you just say, you giant bastard?

143
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,800
- Well, well put.
- Thank you.

144
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:45,800
- Still see you're driving the nerd-mobile.
- Chaz, you're an idiot.

145
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:49,000
Hey, you know what? While you're out here
sticking G.I. Joes up your butt...

146
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:51,600
I convinced Dad to let me
recut the commercial.

147
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,800
So suck it. Huh?

148
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:57,400
Aw, see, you flinched.
That's gonna be two, Princess Leia.

149
00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,400
Nanu-nanu.

150
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:02,200
Get a haircut.

151
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:05,600
- We should have killed him
when we had the chance.
- Yeah.

152
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:09,200
Jackass. Linus is coming over
to the carriage house later. So are you.

153
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:11,600
Bye, Eric.

154
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,600
No lightning! No lightning!

155
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,300
- Aw, shit. I'm a midget.
- I'm gonna flatten your ass right now.

156
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:27,800
Ah!
Suck it, Count Fagula.

157
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,700
Wow!

158
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,200
- There's no teaming up.
That's a rule!
-

159
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,500
Owl Head cramp!

160
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,500
Don't kill me.

161
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,300
- Hey.
- Donkey balls.

162
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,200
You made it, man.

163
00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:48,800
Your mom said clean up this shit-hole
or no grilled cheese for a week?

164
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:50,900
That's emotional blackmail,
and you know it!

165
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,300
- Screw you!
- I will sue you! Renter's rights!

166
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:57,500
- You don't pay rent!
- Damn. Damn!

167
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,400
- What the hell is he doing here, man?
- It was Hutch's idea.

168
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,500
Grab a controller.

169
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,600
We're ganging up on Windows in Mario Kart.

170
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:07,700
I can't.
I came to talk to Linus actually.

171
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,500
Can I talk to you alone, man?

172
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:17,400
Linus. Hey, stop walking.
Linus! Hold up, man.

173
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:22,400
- Stop. What the hell, man?
I did nothing to you.
- Exactly. You did nothing.

174
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,400
Absolutely nothing.

175
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,500
Eric Bottler graduates high school
and never looks back.

176
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,900
You bailed on our plan, Bottler!

177
00:10:28,900 --> 00:10:31,000
What plan?
To be the next big thing in comics?

178
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,000
Come on, man.
That was never gonna happen.

179
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:37,100
I did what I had to do, dude. I grew up.
I'm the only one who did.

180
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,700
- Look at you guys.
- You can fool everybody...

181
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:42,300
with this cheap suit,
salesman-of-the-year pitch.

182
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,400
But I know you better than anybody...

183
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:48,900
and deep down,
you are one miserable son of a bitch.

184
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:51,700
- Miserable, huh?
- Yeah. Miserable.

185
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,100
Miserable is wasting your life
in Hutch's garage playing video games...

186
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,100
arguing whether or not
Luke really had a thing for Leia.

187
00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,900
You know as well as anybody...

188
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:05,000
that as soon as Luke knew Leia
was his sister, it was hands off.

189
00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:06,300
They still kiss.

190
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,500
That was Leia kissing Luke
to make Han jealous.

191
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,300
That was the second time.
The first time-

192
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,400
The first time they're about to die!

193
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,500
- They were not, you liar.
- They were swinging 30,000 feet in the air.

194
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,700
You know when you're a sibling, okay?
There's something innate.

195
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,000
- There's no telepathy between
Luke and Leia till Episode VI.
- It spans the ocean.

196
00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,200
It was romance in a sci-fi opera!

197
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,400
Who cares about this shit, man? Huh?

198
00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:31,300
- Who cares about-
- I do. I care.

199
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:46,400
You need a new car.

200
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:50,100
They were siblings.
They were siblings, you sick bastard!

201
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:56,500
You are trapped now.

202
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,500
You've made your last mistake.

203
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,100
We need to talk.

204
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,200
Sure, Pop.
What's up?

205
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,500
Okay. Here's the deal.

206
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:21,500
It's time for the world
to see the new face of this company.

207
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,200
And his name's Big Eric.

208
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,100
Big Eric who?

209
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:29,000
Big Eric you.

210
00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:32,200
It's all yours, kiddo.
The entire shebang.

211
00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:34,600
All 15 locations, from here to Seattle.

212
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:38,400
I mean- Uh, yes.

213
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,400
Yeah. I mean, wow.

214
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,600
- Take the hat.
- I can't take your hat.

215
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,200
Go ahead.

216
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:48,000
No, really.
It looks good on you.

217
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,400
- Take the hat.
- But it's really-

218
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:53,900
- Take the damn hat.
- Yeah. I'll wear it for-

219
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,400
My God. Your mom would be so proud
to see you in that hat.

220
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,500
I know, Pop.

221
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:03,300
Hey. You and me?
Tanning Tuesdays?

222
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:13,600
You want to take your shirt off.

223
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:21,900
You want to take your shirt off. God.

224
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,800
- You wanna take that shirt off?
- Asshole.

225
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:27,800
You have been trying that Jedi mind shit
on me since the eighth grade.

226
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:31,300
- It doesn't work.
- Oh, it works. Tell her, Windows.

227
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,000
- He's been geeking out
with Rogue Leader all morning.

228
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,500
Nothing can tear him away.

229
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,800
- Ah!
- Rogue Leader, you are wicked.

230
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:44,000
Ah, I love the feeling of fresh air
on my naked breasts.

231
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,600
Oh, ho-ho!

232
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,900
See that?
Man's immune to sweater yams.

233
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,300
What about me?
I like sweater yams!

234
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,400
Hey.

235
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,600
What'll it be, fellas?

236
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,500
- How much for the phaser gun?
- For the phaser gun?

237
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:15,600
Sorry, Garfunke!.
We don't hock Trek here.

238
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:18,300
Well, then, Slim,
if you don't sell the Trek...

239
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,200
then why do you have
a phaser gun in the case?

240
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,500
We keep this one here to suss out
Trekkie bitches like yourself...

241
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,600
and tell them to get
the hell off of our land.

242
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,000
So get the hell off of our land.

243
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:33,400
Get the hell off of our land!
Get the hell out of here! Now!

244
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,000
Get out of here,
you Kirk-lovin'Spock-suckers!

245
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:46,200
- Hey.
- Hey.

246
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,400
You guys know where a guy can pawn off
a first edition Eric Bottler comic?

247
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,100
- Hey!
- Holy cannolis.

248
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,200
Look at that.
Yeah. That's awesome.

249
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:56,700
Dude, you had sick skills back then.
You should've stuck with it, brother.

250
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,500
Yeah. I would've been broke and living
in my parents' garage.

251
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,200
- It's a carriage house.
- Right. I know it is.

252
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:05,500
I have something else
that you guys might wanna check out.

253
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:12,000
Well, what have we got here?

254
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:16,200
Ohio to Califor-
Is this what I think it is?

255
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,700
Linus laid the whole thing out in fifth grade.

256
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,700
I figure it's time
for another epic journey, isn't it?

257
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,600
What's your game plan?

258
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:26,400
We storm the ranch, or we die trying.

259
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:28,100
Yeah.

260
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,400
Well, you guys were
all about this at the party.

261
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,900
- We were six Zimas to the wind at the party.
- Drunk.

262
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:39,000
Come on. You even said the Rogue Leader
has connections inside the ranch, right?

263
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,100
Rogue Leader? Please, man.
Windows never even met him.

264
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,200
- Her!
- Him.

265
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:47,400
- Maybe it's time that he does.
- Dude, this is a suicide mission, man.

266
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:49,500
Why would we even try anything like this?

267
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,700
For Linus.

268
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:00,100
Huh?

269
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,300
No.

270
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,900
- No?
- No. I'm not going.

271
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,200
Aw, Linus, you've got to go.

272
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,900
This is a conquest for the ages.

273
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,900
Our names shall become legend...

274
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,400
spoken in hushed tones
by nerds across the galaxy.

275
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,600
And we'll get laid.

276
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,200
¶ More than
we've ever been laid ¶¶

277
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,200
- Okay, please stop that.
- Sorry. I was getting into that.

278
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,600
I just don't wanna go
with Opie over there.

279
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,900
Check this out, man.

280
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:52,900
Floor plans to the Lucas Ranch.

281
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,600
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Are you kidding? How did you get these?

282
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:59,800
My life partner, Rogue Leader,
she can break us in, man.

283
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,600
The question you got to ask yourself is...

284
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,100
"Do you have the nut sack
to go through with it?"

285
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:14,600
If I do this, it doesn't change anything.

286
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:23,800
I'll grab my suitcase
and some Big League Chew.

287
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,800
- Yes!
- ThunderCats! Ho!

288
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,000
- Told you. I knew he'd go.
- Stop humping.

289
00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,600
Please stop humping.
Just high five.

290
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,600
- Oh, God. I'm Jabba the Hump.
- Oh, goddamn it.

291
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,500
- Chewie!
- Chewie! Damn it!

292
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:43,700
Wait a second. Whoa.
What the hell's Chewie?

293
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:47,300
It's the same rules as shotgun.
Either way, I always lose.

294
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,400
- Furball, you do the honors?
- Yeah.

295
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,400
Strap in, fellas.

296
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,900
Whoo!

297
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,000
What the hell, Hutch?
It's all Rush.

298
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,000
- Ever want a little variety?
- Rush is variety, bitch.

299
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,600
- Oh!

300
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:20,100
Rule number one:
in my van, it's Rush.

301
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,600
All Rush, all the time.

302
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,000
No exceptions.

303
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,600
Rule number two:

304
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:28,900
nobody touch the red button.

305
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:33,200
And I mean never touch the red button.

306
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:37,500
Most importantly,
rule number three:

307
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,800
there's no jerking it in my van.

308
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,900
What?

309
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:45,000
Fine.

310
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:50,300
Don't roll your eyes at me, Admiral Jackbar.

311
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,400
"Established in 1985...

312
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,600
"the Skywalker Ranch
is the headquarters...

313
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,100
of George Lucas's filmmaking empire."

314
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,100
So according to Rogue Leader's map...

315
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:05,400
our best odds for finding
the film is in here- the main house.

316
00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:09,200
Oh, my God.
That place is legendary.

317
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,900
And we meet Rogue Leader at a coffee shop
in Texas Wednesday, 3:00 p. m. sharp.

318
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,300
- Mm-hmm.
- She's gonna give us
absolutely everything we need...

319
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,400
- to get into the compound.
- Nice.

320
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,700
White chocolate finally gets
to meet his dream girl.

321
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,600
- Oh!
- Ooh! Ooh!

322
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,000
Well, according to this,
80 West is our fastest route.

323
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:29,900
So we got 26 hours
to make it to Texas, boys.

324
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,200
Consider it done.

325
00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,500
Ah!

326
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:51,700
-
- Wakey, wakey. Hands off steakey.

327
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:55,900
- It's time for Hutch's pit stop.
- Where are we?

328
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:59,400
Some say heaven.
I like to call it Iowa.

329
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,900
Iowa?
What about Rogue Leader?

330
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,600
- Iowa?
- Yeah. I made a little detour.

331
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,600
Hutch, we're supposed
to be going to Texas.

332
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,600
Welcome to Riverside, gentlemen...

333
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:15,000
future birthplace of one
Captain James T. Kirk.

334
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,100
Enemy territory! Nice.

335
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:21,500
Man, you drove all night for this?

336
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,300
Dude, I'd drive all year for the chance
to pimp slap some Trekkies.

337
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,600
You know what?
Leave me out of it.

338
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:32,900
Let's crack some Trekkie skulls!

339
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,900
Let's do it!

340
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,700
And it is believed
that on this very spot...

341
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,000
Captain James Tiberius Kirk will be born.

342
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:48,700
Hence, the statue immortalizing him...

343
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:52,800
grappling with his most accursed nemesis.

344
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,100
Ricardo Montalbán?

345
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,300
Genetically engineered tyrant Khan.

346
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:01,100
- It doesn't look like either of them.
- Thank you for pointing that out.

347
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,600
That is because the whores at Viacom
International threatened to sue us...

348
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,200
if we used their likenesses,
so we make do.

349
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:10,000
Yes. The gentleman in the beige.

350
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:13,900
I was wondering what did Sulu find
in Captain Kirk's lavatory.

351
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:18,900
Sulu clearly found a standard issue
Starfleet Z23 personal refuse device.

352
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:21,500
I believe it was the Captain's log.

353
00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:23,400
- Very good.

354
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:27,700
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away, everyone.
We've been saved.

355
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,200
- Ooh.
- Any other comic relief?

356
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,400
- Ah!
- There's still homeless out there.

357
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:35,000
- Hey!
- Yes! What? You! What? Yes.

358
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:39,900
What is the Klingon translation
for,"You're gonna die a virgin"?

359
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:43,700
-

360
00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:50,600
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Hilarious, everyone.

361
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,900
Looks like we got more Lucas hounds
here to mock Roddenberry.

362
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:56,000
Congratulations, gentlemen,
but I would like to see...

363
00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:59,400
your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone.

364
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,900
And we'll see who's laughing then.
Am I right?

365
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:06,900
Darth Vader can put the entire
Borg collective in a vice grip with his mind.

366
00:22:06,900 --> 00:22:09,200
Uh, Darth Vader has asthma...

367
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:13,000
so name me one Star Trek character
with a respiratory disease...

368
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:15,200
'cause I'm drawing a blank.

369
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:17,000
Name me one
Star Wars character who's gay.

370
00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:18,600
- Yeah.
- Besides you.

371
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:22,000
Well, no one's gay in Star Trek,
so why would I even do that?

372
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,400
Captain Picard.

373
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,400
Captain Picard is not gay.
He's British.

374
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:29,800
- Come on."Make it so!"
- ¶ Ah-ah ¶¶

375
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,600
I hate to break it to you losers,
but Han Solo's a bitch.

376
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:35,800
Ah, no, he didn't. No, he didn't.

377
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,300
What did you just say?

378
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:43,300
- Is there a problem here?
- Yeah, there sure is, Spock.

379
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,100
The admiral here just
called Han Solo a bitch.

380
00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:49,100
- Good one.
- Some pretty strong words for a Trekkie.

381
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,900
A Trekkie is derogatory
at this point in the game.

382
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,100
Trekker is what we're called now.
Trekker.

383
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,000
Oh, I'm sorry.
Trekkie.

384
00:22:59,300 --> 00:23:01,800
Just take a look-see here.

385
00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:03,600
What's with the man-purse?

386
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,100
Yep. As I thought...

387
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:10,100
scanner reads"douche bag."

388
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:23,000
Push me, I'll kill your whole Starfleet.

389
00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:24,700
Unbelievable!

390
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:27,900
Snikt! Snitk!
Come on, bub!

391
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,000
Attack, you cowards!
That's an order!

392
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,500
- Hutch!
- Cover me, Windows!

393
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:39,000
Evasive maneuvers!
Evasive maneuvers!

394
00:23:56,700 --> 00:24:00,300
- My ear!
- Ha-ha!

395
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,800
Nighty-night, Spock-sucker.

396
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,000
Beam this, bitch!

397
00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:11,400
Time-out!
I call time-out! Time-out!

398
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,700
- Disable their vehicle.
- Get in! Go!

399
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,200
Get in the van!
Get in the van!

400
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,500
Disable the vehicle.

401
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,300
Kill the Star-roids!

402
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,300
Get them!

403
00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:36,500
Han Solo is still a bitch!

404
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,400
Nobody calls Han Solo a bitch.

405
00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:47,200
Yeah!

406
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,500
Hey, Bottler, hit 'em
with the pressed ham!

407
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,200
Klingon to this.

408
00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:09,400
Kha-a-a-an!

409
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:17,900
Kha-a-a-an!

410
00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:25,900
Whoo!

411
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,800
I took that Vulcan down hard.

412
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,100
I rolled him into the dirt
like he was my frickin tauntaun.

413
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:37,000
Tauntaun, my ass. If it wasn't for me,
you guys would all be dead.

414
00:25:37,100 --> 00:25:40,000
What fight were you watching?
I was channeling the emperor.

415
00:25:40,100 --> 00:25:44,200
The emperor? I don't remember the emperor
crapping his robe and screaming"time-out."

416
00:25:44,300 --> 00:25:47,300
- Oh, my God. That's right.
- There is such a thing as time-out.

417
00:25:47,300 --> 00:25:50,900
I can feel
your anger growing inside. Wait. Time-out.

418
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,200
-

419
00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:59,300
-
-

420
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:03,000
All right. Time-out.

421
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,100
We had to take your van, Hutch.

422
00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:08,800
I have access to literally
thousands of vehicles...

423
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:11,000
but we had to take your van.

424
00:26:11,100 --> 00:26:13,600
Yeah, well, I had a spare tire...

425
00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:17,200
but some tardo took it out
to make some room for his grappling hook.

426
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,600
What? We're on a covert operation.

427
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:22,200
How can you be on a covert operation
without a grappling hook?

428
00:26:22,300 --> 00:26:24,500
Oh! Wait.

429
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:27,300
What in Greedo's name is that?

430
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,300
Talk about a wretched hive
of scum and villainy.

431
00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:35,600
Hmm.

432
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,400
You guys stay right here.
I'll take care of this.

433
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,300
How you doing, fellas?
Hi, fellas.

434
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,500
So our car broke down
a couple of miles back.

435
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,400
Is there anyone you know who can help us?

436
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,700
No.

437
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,200
Can I have some water?

438
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,600
Yeah, a glass of water, please.

439
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:55,700
Great.

440
00:27:01,100 --> 00:27:03,200
Pirate teeth.
Pirate teeth.

441
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:05,400
- Pirate teeth. Don't.
- Thank you.

442
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,100
A hundred bucks.

443
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,900
For a glass of water?
That's ridiculous. I'm not gonna pay that.

444
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,700
Sure you will.

445
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,700
Hell, no. Hell, no.
Back up, buddy. Back off.

446
00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:20,500
Word to the wise, ese.

447
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:25,300
- Ooh!
- Drop the tough-ass biker
routine before I get angry.

448
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,500
And you won't like me when I'm angry.

449
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,700
Hmm, I think I would.

450
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,800
- Hutch, let's not do this.
- Hutch, maybe-

451
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,400
Nah. Nah. Nah.

452
00:27:33,500 --> 00:27:37,400
This guy wants
to dick with me, fine. I can dick.

453
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:43,200
I used to rape guys 15 times
your size in prison.

454
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,800
So you best back off...

455
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,900
- or, so help me God, I'm
gonna pound your ass so hard-
- Oh, Jesus.

456
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,800
- No. Hutch.
- What?

457
00:27:50,900 --> 00:27:53,100
- There's kind of a thing in this bar. Like that.
- See?

458
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,600
Ixnay on the ass pounding.

459
00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:02,400
A hundred dollars?
That's cool.

460
00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:06,500
Afraid it's too late for that, ese.

461
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,900
Our midnight entertainment bailed.

462
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000
Time to pay for that drink.

463
00:28:14,100 --> 00:28:18,100
Oh, dear God.
We're gonna die up here, aren't we?

464
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,800
We have to strip to Menudo?

465
00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:26,100
You got a problem with Menudo?
Now, take it off!

466
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,200
That's it, man!

467
00:28:33,300 --> 00:28:35,400
"Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"

468
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,300
You want some Swayze action, bitches?

469
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,600
Yeah!
You like that, huh?

470
00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:45,900
Whoo!

471
00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:56,800
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it, and you're gonna like it!

472
00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:59,300
-
-

473
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,600
He's got one ball.
Un testÍculo.

474
00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:04,900
- Oh, that's disgusting.

475
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:08,500
Okay, I had a...

476
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,100
torrid lightsaber battle
went wrong when I was a child.

477
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,900
All right, all right, all right.
Show's over, fellas.

478
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:22,600
- You boys took a wrong turn?
- Our car broke down.

479
00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:25,400
The Chief can fix it.

480
00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:27,600
The Chief?

481
00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:43,800
This is some kick-ass guac
you whipped up, man.

482
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,800
- I feel funny.
- Tingly.

483
00:29:47,900 --> 00:29:51,200
- I feel good.
- Karate is cool.

484
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:00,200
Guys, I don't think we're eating...

485
00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:03,600
your everyday garden-variety guacamole.

486
00:30:03,700 --> 00:30:05,700
I got recipe from Emeril.

487
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,800
Avocado, onion,
chopped garlic- Bam!

488
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:11,700
- Bam!
- Bam!

489
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,900
And the Chief's secret ingredient.

490
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,500
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

491
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,300
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

492
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,500
- What?
- What?

493
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,600
There's an ewok right beside you.

494
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:30,500
Oh, wow. She's humping your leg.
It's humping your leg.

495
00:30:31,900 --> 00:30:34,300
She's humping your leg.
I love you.

496
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,000
Wahh!

497
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:48,300
Death is but a path to life,
a passage to the stars...

498
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,400
to the universe.

499
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:52,700
I know what you mean.

500
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,800
You mean the Force.

501
00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:58,900
The Force.

502
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:02,400
Guys, my dad is
gonna kill me if I don't get to work on Monday.

503
00:31:02,500 --> 00:31:07,100
Putz. Screw it, man.

504
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:16,900
- No!
- Join me, Son.

505
00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:21,200
Come to the Dark Side.

506
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,600
- The Dark Side.
- No! No!

507
00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:34,900
Rogue Leader.

508
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,400
What the hell you doing, man?
You're poking me.

509
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,800
Oh, God. Don't flatter yourself, okay?

510
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,400
It's just my R2.
My lucky R2.

511
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:44,600
Man, you wish you had
the height and girth of D2.

512
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:50,100
- Yeah!
- Wow!

513
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:53,300
Hah! Van!

514
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:56,900
Son of a whore!
The Buce is back.

515
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,400
The Chief fixed it while you were asleep.

516
00:32:00,500 --> 00:32:03,500
The Chief fixed it.
Is he around? Can we thank him?

517
00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:07,700
He's the Chief.
You're the Chief, aren't you?

518
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:12,800
- Why didn't you say so?
- The Chief likes to refer to
himself in the third person.

519
00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:15,600
It causes confusion,
especially with the bitches.

520
00:32:15,700 --> 00:32:20,400
Well, you're cool as balls,
you burned-out old hash-head.

521
00:32:20,500 --> 00:32:23,100
Wonder Twins power activate.

522
00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:26,700
It's been interesting.

523
00:32:28,300 --> 00:32:30,600
Thanks.

524
00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:32,800
You need it more than I do.

525
00:32:32,900 --> 00:32:35,300
Wow. Thank you. I, uh-

526
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:40,000
- Good luck.
- Thanks.

527
00:32:41,100 --> 00:32:43,100
Who's up for Texas, boys?

528
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,500
¶ Lump was limp and lonely
and needed a shove ¶

529
00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:50,100
¶ Lump slipped on a kiss
and tumbled into love ¶

530
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:53,200
¶ She spent her 20s
between the sheets ¶

531
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:57,100
¶ Life limped along
at subsonic speeds ¶

532
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,300
- ¶ She's lump, she's lump
She's in my head ¶
- Hi.

533
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,100
- Hey-
- ¶ She's lump, she's lump, she's lump ¶

534
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,200
- Yeah!
- ¶ She might be dead ¶

535
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:12,600
- ¶ Ah ¶

536
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:15,900
¶ Bah
Ba-ba, ba-da-da-da ¶

537
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,100
¶ Bah ¶

538
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,200
- Yes!
- ¶ Bah, ba-ba, ba-da-da-da ¶

539
00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:26,200
Thank you for the blue balls, ladies!

540
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,700
Harrison Ford
is the greatest actor of all time!

541
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,800
In the history of cinema?

542
00:33:42,900 --> 00:33:45,700
He's Han Solo, Indiana Jones. Yes!

543
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:48,100
- Deckard from Blade Runner.
- Yes. Exactly.

544
00:33:48,100 --> 00:33:50,200
Greatest actor of all time.

545
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,500
He's never done a bad movie.

546
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:58,700
Does that sign say"electric fence"?
Watch this. Ready?

547
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,600
¶ Is this lump outta my head ¶¶

548
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,900
Let's just hope she's still here.

549
00:34:11,100 --> 00:34:13,400
Oh, she'll be here.

550
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:17,300
Give her a taste of that white chocolate.

551
00:34:17,300 --> 00:34:18,800
What do you think?

552
00:34:18,900 --> 00:34:20,700
Oh, my God.

553
00:34:20,700 --> 00:34:22,000
- 'Toid me.
- You ready?

554
00:34:22,100 --> 00:34:25,100
- Yeah. Thank you.
- Nice.

555
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,300
Go get her.

556
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:44,600
¶ Where have you been
all my life, sweet baby ¶

557
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:46,500
¶ Girl, I've been waiting ¶

558
00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:50,400
¶ For a while now ¶

559
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:54,100
- Hi there.
- ¶ Yes, I have ¶

560
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,700
- Oh, my God!
- ¶ There's a star in the sky ¶

561
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,600
¶ That shines brightly on you ¶

562
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,500
¶ When that pretty dress
that you're wearing ¶

563
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,700
- ¶ Makes you so fine ¶¶

564
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,800
Rogue Leader, I presume?

565
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,200
Red 6?

566
00:35:09,300 --> 00:35:12,300
Let me just put my glasses on.

567
00:35:12,300 --> 00:35:13,800
What the hell?

568
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,600
You're a kid.
You're 12.

569
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,600
- I'm 10.
- You're 10?

570
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,700
I'm a pedophile! I'm a pedophile!

571
00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:25,800
- I'm a pedophile!
- Give us a moment, please.

572
00:35:25,900 --> 00:35:28,600
I have to leave this state at once.

573
00:35:28,700 --> 00:35:30,900
Yea! Yea!

574
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,100
That was fantastic.

575
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,500
We drove a thousand miles, Windows.

576
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,100
A thousand.
For what?

577
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,300
So you can get funky
with Strawberry Shortcakes?

578
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,400
It's not really sex if it's cyber-sex.

579
00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:45,400
Relax. We're gonna sit down.
We're gonna put on our thinking caps.

580
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,500
- And we're gonna get a better plan.
- No, it's-

581
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,000
I have to be back by Monday.

582
00:35:50,100 --> 00:35:53,100
I haven't told you guys this yet, but my-

583
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,300
My dad gave me the company.

584
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,600
- Hey!
- Thanks, man.

585
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,700
Yeah, the whole thing.
The whole thing is mine now.

586
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,500
What's the new game plan?

587
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,600
Let's get in the van
and get the hell out of here.

588
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:09,200
- This is just a minor setback.
- It's a minor setback for you.

589
00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:10,000
I live in the real world, okay?
I have to go back to work.

590
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,200
I live in the real world, okay?
I have to go back to work.

591
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:12,300


592
00:36:12,300 --> 00:36:15,900
You have to go back
to... your mom's garage.


593
00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:19,500

594
00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:22,000
- It's a carriage house.
- It's a garage, man.

595
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:22,700
- It's a carriage house.
- It's a garage, man.

596
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,400
- Say it again.
- It's a garage.

597
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:25,800
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Guys!

598
00:36:25,900 --> 00:36:29,500
- Holding my schlong!
- Okay! Okay.

599
00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:32,300
- Harry Knowles.
- Harry who?

600
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,900
- Hello.
- This man is the ultimate fanboy, Eric.

601
00:36:35,900 --> 00:36:40,600
His Web site"Ain't it Cool News"
is like every geek's homepage.

602
00:36:40,700 --> 00:36:42,800
Which one of you's Windows?

603
00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:44,500
Me.

604
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,700
I'm Windows.

605
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,800
- Nice to meet you-
- Oh!

606
00:36:48,900 --> 00:36:51,900
Back off!

607
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,700
- Oh, God!
- Ohh!

608
00:36:56,300 --> 00:36:59,500
Harry Knowles is kicking Windows's ass.

609
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,200
Now, you listen to me, perv.

610
00:37:04,300 --> 00:37:08,800
If you ever e-mail my niece again,
I will hunt you down like a T-1000.

611
00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:12,200
Okay, Mr. Knowles, he didn't know- Okay.

612
00:37:12,300 --> 00:37:14,600
- You will release my friends.
- Back!

613
00:37:14,700 --> 00:37:18,100
We wanted to break into the Skywalker Ranch.
Kimmy said she'd give us the floor plans.

614
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:21,100
We were gonna break in
and steal Episode I, that's it.

615
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,400
That is the stupidest thing I've heard
since Schumacher put nips on Batman.

616
00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:27,600
- Ohh!
- These aren't the droids you're looking for, man.

617
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:30,800
- Heh!
- Anybody else have any stupid comments?

618
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:34,900
It's very stupid, but true. We've been
planning this since we were like six.

619
00:37:34,900 --> 00:37:36,600
Listen.
Harry, Harry, Harry.

620
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:40,000
If you help us out, we'll give you all
the exclusive spoilers and all.

621
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,800
- Okay?
- Ohh.

622
00:37:45,300 --> 00:37:48,800
That's an interesting offer.
Episode V was directed by who?

623
00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:50,500
- Irvin Kershner.
- That was just a warm-up.

624
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:54,000
You. In Episode VI when Leia shoots down
two scout troopers...

625
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,300
why doesn't she take one
of the speeder bikes instead of walking?

626
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,600
If you pay attention closely,
the speeder bikes were destroyed.

627
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,600
And then Luke refers to it
later on in the dialogue.

628
00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:03,300
Impressive. I wasn't really
worried about you though.

629
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,600
What was Luke Skywalker's call sign
during the rebel assault in Episode IV?

630
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,600
Red 5.

631
00:38:10,700 --> 00:38:15,400
You are all only as strong
as your weakest link.

632
00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:18,000
Hello, weakest link.

633
00:38:18,100 --> 00:38:22,100
- What?
- What is the name
of Chewbacca's home planet?

634
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:26,000
- It's never discussed in the movies.
That's not fair.

635
00:38:26,100 --> 00:38:27,700
I know. I know.

636
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,300
Do you give up?

637
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,800
Come on, man.
Say it.

638
00:38:37,900 --> 00:38:42,300
Kashyyyk. Kashyyyk.
Chewie's home planet is Kashyyyk.

639
00:38:44,500 --> 00:38:46,800
Chewie's home planet is Kashyyyk.

640
00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:50,300
Well played, boys.
I'll help you.

641
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:52,600
You're gonna meet my friend in Vegas.

642
00:38:52,700 --> 00:38:55,600
- He's got everything you need. Okay?
- Okay.

643
00:38:55,700 --> 00:38:58,800
- How will we know who he is?
- Oh, don't worry. You'll know.

644
00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:02,400
The password: Scruffy Nerfherder.

645
00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:05,200
- Scruffy Nerfherder.
- Good luck, boys.

646
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,700
Nice detailing.

647
00:39:07,700 --> 00:39:10,000
We're going to Vegas, fellas.

648
00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:16,300
Hey, Hutch, you mind slowing down?

649
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,000
Sorry. I don't speak jagoff.

650
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,100
I just thought it might be nice
to get to Vegas alive.

651
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,300
-
- Are you kidding me?

652
00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:28,200
We got Imperial bacon.

653
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,800
Okay, probably not the best time
to tell you guys this...

654
00:39:33,900 --> 00:39:36,800
but, uh, there's a giant bag of peyote
in the back of the van.

655
00:39:36,900 --> 00:39:38,800
- What?
- Excuse me?

656
00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:43,100
The Chief gave it to me.

657
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:45,200
Hutch, just pull over
and get the ticket, man, okay?

658
00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:48,600
We can't pull over
with a big-ass bag of peyote on us.

659
00:39:48,700 --> 00:39:50,700
Pull over and stop!

660
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:53,500
Do what he says, Hutch.
Do what he says, Hutch.

661
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,500
- Don't do what he says.
- Do what he says, Hutch.

662
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,700
- It's gonna be okay, fellas. It's gonna be okay.
- Pull over, man.

663
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:01,600
Suck my exhaust, pork rind!

664
00:40:06,300 --> 00:40:07,900
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, Jesus!

665
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:11,400
- Talk to me, Goose.
- Talk to you? He's back.

666
00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:13,300
- He found us!
- God!

667
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,400
- Move this piece of shit!
- You don't call my van a piece of shit!

668
00:40:16,500 --> 00:40:19,000
- Well?
- Hey, ladies, ladies!

669
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,800
You got to break rule number two.

670
00:40:20,900 --> 00:40:23,900
- Chewie, prepare to make
the jump to hyperspace.
- Yes!

671
00:40:23,900 --> 00:40:26,700
Okay, I'm ready.

672
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,400
Somebody tell me
what the goddamn red button's for!

673
00:40:31,500 --> 00:40:34,000
It's light speed, kid.

674
00:40:34,100 --> 00:40:36,200
- Light speed?
- Yeah.

675
00:40:36,300 --> 00:40:38,400
Punch it!

676
00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:41,000
-
- What the- Come on!

677
00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:44,500
- You're not gonna do this to me now.
- No. Okay, I'm resetting.

678
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,500
- Light speed. Impressive.
-

679
00:40:46,500 --> 00:40:48,500
I put a tank of nitrous in this thing.
It's not firing.

680
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,100
- Hutch, please do something.
- Hutch!

681
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:55,200
Damn it.

682
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:00,700
Whoo!

683
00:41:00,700 --> 00:41:02,500
Oh, my God!

684
00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:05,600
It's working!
Whoo!

685
00:41:07,700 --> 00:41:11,000
- Stay on target! Stay on target!
- Oh, God!

686
00:41:11,100 --> 00:41:12,600
Oh, shit!

687
00:41:16,900 --> 00:41:19,300
-
-

688
00:41:26,300 --> 00:41:28,900
I probably shouldn't
have called that cop a fag.

689
00:41:28,900 --> 00:41:32,000
I think he took it the wrong way.

690
00:41:32,100 --> 00:41:34,800
Breakfast.

691
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,400
- Oh, God.
- Ow!

692
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,900
- Jesus!
- Oh, God.

693
00:41:41,300 --> 00:41:42,900
Ham and cheese.

694
00:41:45,500 --> 00:41:49,700
Well, look on the bright side, you guys.
This trip can't get any worse.

695
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:53,000
It just did, boys.

696
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:56,700
- What?
- I got to drop a sewer pickle.

697
00:41:56,700 --> 00:42:00,000
Yeah, I got to throw her into reverse.

698
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,400
Bottler, give me your sandwich, bro.

699
00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:05,900
Hook me up.
Another one.

700
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000
- What's the sandwich for?
- I don't know.

701
00:42:08,100 --> 00:42:11,200
I'm not gonna sit on this.

702
00:42:11,300 --> 00:42:13,200
- Oh, Hutch!
- Jesus.

703
00:42:13,300 --> 00:42:16,300
It's crawling with criminal ass germs.

704
00:42:16,300 --> 00:42:19,300
- Just hover, man.
- Okay, listen up, pre-pubes.

705
00:42:19,300 --> 00:42:23,300
You got a visitor-
Sweet can of corn.

706
00:42:23,300 --> 00:42:27,200
What are you doing with that ham sandwich,
boy? It's not right what you're doing.

707
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,700
Hutch, you owe me a sock.

708
00:42:29,700 --> 00:42:32,700
I had to wipe with something.

709
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,700
You pussies owe me, big time.

710
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:40,400
- Oh, Zoe, thank God.
- We weren't sure if you'd gotten our message.

711
00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:44,900
If by message you mean Windows shrieking
into my answering machine like a little girl...

712
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,500
- then yes, message received.
- You don't know
what we've been through.

713
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:50,300
Hutch just took a dump in front of us.

714
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,600
Yeah. That's life inside the big house.

715
00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:56,100
Zoe, promise me you brought the money.

716
00:42:56,100 --> 00:42:58,100
I cleared out every cent
Windows had in the comic store.

717
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,800
- You what?
- Oh! Don't even speak.

718
00:43:00,900 --> 00:43:04,500
I took two taxis, an airplane
and an all-night bus ride...

719
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,900
next to an old man that I am
pretty sure had a full diaper.

720
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,400
Hey, hey, okay.
Okay, visiting time's over.

721
00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:13,500
The judge wants to see y'all
in his private chambers.

722
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,000
Oh, yeah.
Just one more thing.

723
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,100
Whatever you do,
do not make fun of his name.

724
00:43:19,100 --> 00:43:22,200
Let me see if I got this right.

725
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,600
Now, you tried to outrun
an officer of the law...

726
00:43:24,700 --> 00:43:27,500
because you obtained a bag of peyote
from a Mexican Indian chief...

727
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:32,300
who thought it would help
treat your friend's terminal illness?

728
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,600
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.

729
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,800
I'm gonna let you boys go.

730
00:43:37,900 --> 00:43:40,500
Not because I believe you.

731
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,500
- Because I believe your father.
- My father?

732
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,300
- Mm-hmm.
- You actually spoke with my dad?

733
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:47,900
Sure did.

734
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,600
He wanted me to give you this message.

735
00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:52,200
Approach the bench.

736
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,100
Have a nice day, son.

737
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:10,900
Yeah. Man's gone
carbonite freeze on us.

738
00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:13,900
We got to be in Vegas
in less than 24 hours.

739
00:44:13,900 --> 00:44:17,600
All right. I'm gonna go smack
some sense into the boy.

740
00:44:17,700 --> 00:44:19,700
Whoa. Cut him some slack.

741
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,600
Okay.

742
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:25,800
I just mapped out our route to Vegas
on my Toughbook...

743
00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:28,800
and the closest airport's
about a hundred miles north of here.

744
00:44:28,900 --> 00:44:32,000
So all we got to do
is drop the ol' Zoe off...

745
00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:34,100
and then it's a straight shot
to Sin City.

746
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,600
Ho! Hold on.

747
00:44:36,700 --> 00:44:39,000
You haul my ass
out into the middle of nowhere...

748
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,500
and expect me to just jump
on the first plane back?

749
00:44:41,500 --> 00:44:43,400
Sorry. It's not gonna happen.

750
00:44:43,500 --> 00:44:45,600
Come on. You know this trip is men only.

751
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,300
I tell you what.

752
00:44:47,300 --> 00:44:51,800
I'll get on the plane
if any one of you can take me down.

753
00:44:51,900 --> 00:44:54,200
Listen, Princess.

754
00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:57,100
No one wants to see you get hurt.

755
00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,200
I'm gonna get Botts.

756
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,000
- Get off of me!
- Oh, my God!

757
00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:08,200
- Be a man, Hutch.
- Get her off of me!

758
00:45:08,300 --> 00:45:10,300
- Hutch, say"time-out."
- Don't just stand there!

759
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:12,500
Shoot her!
Somebody shoot her!

760
00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:15,800
- Help me, for God sake! God help me!
- Gentlemen.

761
00:45:15,900 --> 00:45:18,100
- Get the jaws of life!
- I'm good.

762
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,300
Welcome aboard.

763
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,100
- Now go get Eric.
- Yes, sir!

764
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,600
And be nice.

765
00:45:30,300 --> 00:45:33,100
You're lucky I have a crush on you.

766
00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:37,200
Yo, Botts, you okay?

767
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,200
You know, I could do this-
start a life here.

768
00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:46,300
Clean slate.
Fresh air.

769
00:45:46,300 --> 00:45:49,300
No pressure, no responsibility.

770
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:52,200
Yeah, it seems nice, man.

771
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:55,900
In theory it sounds nice.

772
00:45:58,700 --> 00:46:03,400
I bet there's not even like a Blockbuster Video
within 500 miles of here.

773
00:46:03,500 --> 00:46:05,500
Or like a Falafel Hut or-

774
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,300
Guys, shut up.

775
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,700
I just figured if I...

776
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,100
worked hard and...

777
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,900
sold enough cars and impressed my dad
enough times, I'd-

778
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,900
I'd feel something.

779
00:46:23,900 --> 00:46:27,600
You gotta find your Death Star.

780
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,400
Okay, I'll bite.

781
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,900
Greatest deed Luke Skywalker ever did...

782
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,300
was take down the Death Star, right?

783
00:46:37,300 --> 00:46:40,800
As far as I'm concerned,
that's what everybody needs.

784
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,700
You need that one bad-ass thing...

785
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,500
that lets you live on forever, you know.

786
00:46:51,700 --> 00:46:53,600
Yeah.

787
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:01,600
Hey, Spice Girls!

788
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,500
Are you gonna swap recipes all day?

789
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,900
Vegas awaits, ladies.

790
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,500
- Wow!
- Sweet!

791
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:20,100
And here's where you learn
how to do Vegas, fanboy style.

792
00:47:21,900 --> 00:47:24,600
- You guys thinking
what I'm thinking?
-

793
00:47:24,700 --> 00:47:28,100
They are everywhere, Giles.

794
00:47:30,100 --> 00:47:32,600
Mama, star people.

795
00:47:34,700 --> 00:47:37,400
This is so gay.

796
00:47:37,500 --> 00:47:40,000
Ow!

797
00:47:40,100 --> 00:47:42,200
Let me get that for you.

798
00:47:43,900 --> 00:47:47,700
You, uh-You might wanna hit the showers.

799
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,700
'Cause you smell like something
shit in my nose.

800
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,200
- Yes, Your Highnessness.
- Ew!

801
00:47:53,300 --> 00:47:57,300
What in God's name is living on your chest?
It looks like you fell on ALF.

802
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:02,300
- God!
- Look who's back in uniform.

803
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:06,300
- Nice.
- Yeah, it's almost 8:00, so we
gotta go meet Harry's contact.

804
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,600
Then let's go.

805
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:10,900
- You guys coming?
- I'll catch up with you guys later.

806
00:48:10,900 --> 00:48:14,400
I'm just gonna do a bit
of pillagin' the tables first.

807
00:48:16,500 --> 00:48:18,400
- Twenty-two. Loser.
- Ah, Jesus!

808
00:48:18,500 --> 00:48:21,300
That is mathematically impossible.

809
00:48:21,300 --> 00:48:23,500
I must have the worst luck
in the northern hemisphere.

810
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:25,500
I heard about the Rogue Leader debacle.

811
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,700
- That's one for the record books.
- Hey.

812
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:32,100
A cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar
and Janeane Garofalo, it's too good to be true.

813
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:35,300
I just have to face the facts, Zoe.
I'm 24 years old...

814
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,000
and I've only ever copulated
with one woman.

815
00:48:38,100 --> 00:48:40,400
Plenty of guys have
only been with one woman.

816
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:43,500
I don't know that many women
to have only been with one woman.

817
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:47,600
I, uh-
I'm female kryptonite.

818
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,900
Look, you're fine around me.

819
00:48:50,900 --> 00:48:55,000
Well, yeah, of course I am.
That's 'cause...

820
00:48:55,100 --> 00:48:57,400
you are not a girl.

821
00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:59,900
You know what I mean?

822
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000
No. Please enlighten me.

823
00:49:02,100 --> 00:49:05,300
You know every Bond villain,
you constantly quote Clash of the Titans...

824
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,200
and you've beat every Zelda game
Nintendo's ever released.

825
00:49:08,300 --> 00:49:12,200
- I mean-
- Dude, dude, dude. Three o'clock, man.

826
00:49:12,300 --> 00:49:15,500
Hotties on the slotties.

827
00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:35,700
I would knock the nickels
out of that pussy!

828
00:49:35,700 --> 00:49:39,100
Dude, you're gonna be my Dak today,
all right? Follow my lead.

829
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:44,300
- Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa.
You wanna just talk to them?
- Yeah. It's called having balls.

830
00:49:44,300 --> 00:49:47,800
Or in your case, one ball.
Come on. Eric and Linus are waiting.

831
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:50,700
What are you, the wife?
Let's go.

832
00:49:50,700 --> 00:49:53,900
- Wait. You're going over there?
- Uh-

833
00:49:53,900 --> 00:49:56,900
Turns out you're more
clueless than you think.

834
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,500
- Apparently, so am I.
- What does that mean? Zoe!

835
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,500
- Zoe!
- Come on.

836
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,200
- Pardon me.
- Hi there.

837
00:50:05,300 --> 00:50:07,400
- Hello. How are you?
- Hi.

838
00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:10,900
- Hi.
- Ladies.

839
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,900
- You ladies looking for love in Alderaan places?

840
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:19,100
- Excuse me?
- Alderaan is the last planet
destroyed by the Death Star-

841
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:22,000
Bomba, bomba, bomba!
Dat-dat-dat-dat-dat-dat! Daniel-san.

842
00:50:22,100 --> 00:50:25,800
What my socially retarded friend
was trying to say...

843
00:50:25,900 --> 00:50:28,800
was that we'd like to
maybe buy you two gals a beverage.

844
00:50:28,900 --> 00:50:31,100
- Sure.
- Sure.

845
00:50:31,100 --> 00:50:34,100
Oh, my God. Wow.

846
00:50:34,100 --> 00:50:37,300
You know, uh, Eric and Linus
are waiting for us.

847
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:40,500
I think that they're going to understand.

848
00:50:40,600 --> 00:50:43,700
They're going to understand.

849
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:47,100
Where are they, man?
It's almost- It's almost 8:00!

850
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,600
I don't know where they are, but we
don't have time to wait for 'em. Come on.

851
00:50:50,700 --> 00:50:53,000
Convention room's this way.
Let's go.

852
00:50:59,700 --> 00:51:01,700
- Rak non!
- Yes, sir!

853
00:51:01,800 --> 00:51:04,000
Phasers on stun.

854
00:51:04,100 --> 00:51:07,200
Being the C.E.O.
of my own company...

855
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:09,200
I'm not gonna lie to you,
I get a lot of perks.

856
00:51:09,300 --> 00:51:11,600
I got a big-ass mansion, you know.

857
00:51:11,700 --> 00:51:14,300
I got a butler-
Maurice.

858
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:19,300
Bentley in the drive.
Flux capacitor.

859
00:51:19,300 --> 00:51:23,500
I mean, the 1.21 gigawatts,
that don't come cheap, you know.

860
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,500
- But I got the duckets, you know.
- Wow.

861
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:29,500
There's nothing more sexy
than a man with power.

862
00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:31,900
What do you mean?
Like-You like power?

863
00:51:31,900 --> 00:51:33,900
- Uh-huh.
- I like power.

864
00:51:33,900 --> 00:51:36,000
- I got a hell of a lot of power.
- Yeah?

865
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,000
Yeah.

866
00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:45,700
You want to come sit on my lap.

867
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:50,700
Oh. Wow.

868
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,800
You want to take your shirt off.

869
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:00,800
Wow-ar-r-rm.

870
00:52:01,900 --> 00:52:03,900
Yummy!

871
00:52:17,500 --> 00:52:21,800
Oh, my God.

872
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:23,600
- Can you smell that?
- Trekkies.

873
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:27,300
Yeah.

874
00:52:29,300 --> 00:52:33,200
Badges.

875
00:52:33,300 --> 00:52:36,600
Yeah, we're not here for the Trek.

876
00:52:36,700 --> 00:52:39,200
Okay? We're here to see somebody.

877
00:52:39,300 --> 00:52:42,700
And who would that be?

878
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,600
We're here to see the nerfherder.

879
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:51,900
- Hmm?
- Scruffy Nerfherder.

880
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,000
Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop!

881
00:52:56,100 --> 00:52:58,600
And then Zoe just storms off.

882
00:52:58,700 --> 00:53:00,700
I mean, she's really...

883
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:04,600
a very difficult specimen
to read sometimes.

884
00:53:04,700 --> 00:53:07,200
If you know what I mean.
But I-

885
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,300
You just can't act like that
if you wanna be one of the guys.

886
00:53:12,100 --> 00:53:15,600
Maybe... she doesn't
wanna be one of the guys.

887
00:53:17,300 --> 00:53:19,200
She likes you.

888
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:25,000
But I didn't-
But she kind of just-

889
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,300
Jesus Murphy!

890
00:53:29,300 --> 00:53:31,600
Wow. Okay.

891
00:53:31,700 --> 00:53:33,900
What-What should I do?

892
00:53:33,900 --> 00:53:37,800
Well, if there's one thing
I learned being an escort...

893
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:41,000
it's that actions speak louder than words.

894
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,000
Did you just say"escort"?

895
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,900
Fantastic.

896
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,600
-
- Shh!

897
00:53:54,900 --> 00:53:57,300
- I don't think we're alone.
- Yeah.

898
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,900
You're late!

899
00:54:03,900 --> 00:54:06,300
It's all there-
maps, pass codes...

900
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:11,300
phony I.D.'s to get you past the front gates,
but that's not what's most important.

901
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,400
What's most important?

902
00:54:17,900 --> 00:54:20,700
We never met.

903
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:22,700
- That's Capt-
- Yeah. I think-

904
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:28,100
I should- Hi.
I can't believe that these are classified.

905
00:54:28,100 --> 00:54:31,300
And there's-
Look at the maps. I mean, there's badges.

906
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:34,500
And there's Trekkin' with TJ.
What is this for?

907
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,900
Just something for the ride.

908
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:40,900
- Thank you.
- This is unreal. How did you score all this stuff?

909
00:54:40,900 --> 00:54:46,200
Are you kidding?
I'm William Shatner. I can score anything.

910
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,100
- Okay.
- How 'bout- How 'bout Jeri Ryan's panties?

911
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:51,900
- Oh.
- Anything.

912
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,300
- I'm so glad that we met.
- Me too.

913
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:58,100
This is-Whoa. Hey.
Wait, wait.

914
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:00,200
Okay, let me go.

915
00:55:00,300 --> 00:55:03,700
- Hutch, private convo. Jesus.
- What the hell are you-

916
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:05,800
What are you doing, man?
Get the hell out of here.

917
00:55:05,900 --> 00:55:07,900
It's not a good time.
The Force is strong with me here.

918
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:11,500
- Actually, your hour's over.
- What do you mean,"over"?

919
00:55:11,500 --> 00:55:15,500
- Hutch, they're hookers.
- We're not hookers. We're escorts.

920
00:55:15,500 --> 00:55:17,500
- The difference being?
- I don't know.

921
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,300
Excuse me. Sorry.
You telling me...

922
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:25,400
that I just spent the last hour sweet talking
a smoking, hot whore?

923
00:55:25,500 --> 00:55:28,100
- You could always pay for another hour.
- How much?

924
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,600
- One thousand.
- Dollars?

925
00:55:30,700 --> 00:55:33,100
- Mm-hmm.
- Each! I want a refund.

926
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:34,900
- Give me a refund.
- Is that possible?

927
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,100
You know what? We're male
prostitutes and you owe us a thousand dollars!

928
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,700
- You can talk it over with Roach.
- Roach?

929
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:48,500
- Hi, Daddy.
- Greetings and salutations. It is payday.

930
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:51,800
- Ten-thousand shares of Priceline?
- Anything.

931
00:55:51,900 --> 00:55:57,000
- Wow.
- Next time you see Harry
Knowles, tell him we're square.

932
00:55:57,100 --> 00:55:59,100
Friends of yours?

933
00:56:01,500 --> 00:56:04,500
Cry havoc!

934
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:13,300
Zinfandel.
That's a good vintage.

935
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:16,600
Uh, this has all been
a really big misunderstanding.

936
00:56:16,700 --> 00:56:21,400
You see, my friend and I, we didn't know
that we were on the clock, per se.

937
00:56:21,500 --> 00:56:23,500
You thought you were
getting that for free, did ya?

938
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:26,800
- Uh, Mr. Roach?
- Yeah?

939
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:29,700
Would you mind not eating
those peanuts 'cause-

940
00:56:29,700 --> 00:56:34,000
Buddy, these are like
$10 a peanut, you know.

941
00:56:34,100 --> 00:56:36,000
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

942
00:56:36,100 --> 00:56:39,900
Well, why don't you take it
out of the $2,000...

943
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,300
that you and your skinny
little idiot friend owe me, how's that sound?

944
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:46,400
- Rebel Alliance, dude.
- What? Enunciate.

945
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,500
- Rebel Alliance.
- Rebel Alliance.

946
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:51,200
We recognize the tat.
We're Star Wars fans.

947
00:56:51,300 --> 00:56:53,000
- You're Star Wars fans?
- Yeah.

948
00:56:53,100 --> 00:56:55,700
Shit. Why didn't you say so, man?

949
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,000
You think that's cool,
check this shit out. Look.

950
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,700
Entire right side, Rebel Alliance.

951
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,400
"Do or do not." That's funny.

952
00:57:03,500 --> 00:57:06,600
¶ And this arm
is the Dark Side ¶

953
00:57:06,700 --> 00:57:10,200
¶ Don't join the Dark Side
of the Force ¶¶

954
00:57:10,300 --> 00:57:12,300
Check this out.
Episode I.

955
00:57:12,500 --> 00:57:15,000
Fu-Schnickens.
Jar-Jar Binks.

956
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:17,100
That guy's gonna be the shit.
I tell you.

957
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:19,300
- Wow.
- Right? You like that?

958
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:22,900
- I had them do that pose.
I thought it was funny.
- That is awesome.

959
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,500
- You guys are all right.
- So, we're all hunky-dory?

960
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,600
- We're all copacetic?
- Well, if the word"copacetic" means...

961
00:57:29,700 --> 00:57:33,000
I'm gonna rip off your tongue
and lick your ass with it, then yeah...

962
00:57:33,100 --> 00:57:35,000
- we're copacetic.
- Oh.

963
00:57:37,700 --> 00:57:40,100
- Windows, now!
- It was lovely to meet you.

964
00:57:40,200 --> 00:57:43,000
Thank you so much for listening.

965
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:48,400
- Go, go, go!
- Balloons?
You thought that was gonna stop 'em?

966
00:57:50,500 --> 00:57:52,100
- Grab the princess.
- Come on, Zoe!

967
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:56,200
- Get off me. I'm not speaking to you.
- Seriously. We gotta go now!

968
00:58:01,900 --> 00:58:04,400
Why are we running? What did you do?

969
00:58:06,100 --> 00:58:08,100
They're everywhere!
They're everywhere!

970
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:10,200
You're going the wrong way!

971
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,900
Yeah!

972
00:58:17,100 --> 00:58:21,500
That's him!
He's the one who destroyed Khan.

973
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:23,800
You called Han Solo a bitch, man!

974
00:58:23,900 --> 00:58:27,200
Han Solo is a bitch.

975
00:58:27,300 --> 00:58:30,300
No one calls...

976
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:34,700
Han Solo a bitch!

977
00:58:43,700 --> 00:58:46,500
- Go, go, go!
- Go, go, go!

978
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:49,500
Why are we running?

979
00:58:52,300 --> 00:58:54,800
- Go! Come on!
- What is going on?

980
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:03,300
You stop this van, you little sons of bitches!
I'm gonna kill you!

981
00:59:03,300 --> 00:59:05,700
This is not copacetic.
You stop!

982
00:59:10,100 --> 00:59:12,000
Zoe, hit him with the pressed ham!

983
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,700
Yeah!

984
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:20,600
- Yeah!
- Nice.

985
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,700
Nailed it.

986
00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:29,900
Linus? Jesus!

987
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,800
- Where'd he go?
- Did he fall out?

988
00:59:31,900 --> 00:59:34,500
Chewie.
I call Chewie.

989
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:38,600
Dr. Richardson
to Trauma 2. Dr. Richardson, Trauma 2.

990
00:59:38,700 --> 00:59:40,700
Your friend's awake.

991
00:59:40,700 --> 00:59:43,300
- Uh, cool. Can we see him?
- Yes.

992
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:45,500
But first we need to have a little talk.

993
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:48,300
Linus tells me that
you're on some sort of a road trip.

994
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:52,300
- Uh, yeah, up to San Francisco.
- Well, not anymore, fellas.

995
00:59:52,300 --> 00:59:54,900
The only place he's going is back to Ohio.

996
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:59,300
- We can't do that.
- Just what's so important in San Francisco?

997
01:00:01,300 --> 01:00:03,700
- Uh, he-
- Star Wars.

998
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:06,300
Star Wars?

999
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:11,000
Look, he is very, very sick
and he needs to go home.

1000
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:16,000
No.

1001
01:00:17,500 --> 01:00:21,200
Guys, we can't-we can't do this now.
We can't give up now.

1002
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:23,900
Not when we're so close.

1003
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:30,300
Linus, it's just a movie.

1004
01:00:35,700 --> 01:00:38,900
Yeah, maybe it is.
Maybe it is. You know what?

1005
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:41,700
To most people, Star Wars
is just a movie, right?

1006
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:44,100
- Not to us!
- We just spoke to the doctor.

1007
01:00:44,100 --> 01:00:47,300
Screw that doctor!
Screw- Screw all those people!

1008
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:51,800
Did-Did they ever get their- their heads stuck
in a bucket trying to be Darth Vader?

1009
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:54,100
- I mean, I don't think so. No.
- Nope.

1010
01:00:54,100 --> 01:00:57,600
Did they ever singe their eyebrows
trying to make a lightsaber?

1011
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:01,300
No way. Did they name
their right hand Leia?

1012
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:03,800
Who knows?
Yes, they could have.

1013
01:01:03,900 --> 01:01:05,800
- But you know who did?
- Me.

1014
01:01:05,900 --> 01:01:08,200
Yes, you did.
So did I. So did you.

1015
01:01:08,300 --> 01:01:11,200
- We all did.
- You guys are freaking sick. You know that?

1016
01:01:11,300 --> 01:01:13,300
This is our Death Star, man.

1017
01:01:16,500 --> 01:01:20,700
And I don't know about you, guys,
but I'm not running away from this one.

1018
01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:24,500
- Me neither.
- Screw it. I named both my hands Leia.

1019
01:01:27,300 --> 01:01:30,300
What the hell are you doing?
Do you know who this is?

1020
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,800
It's that way.

1021
01:01:32,900 --> 01:01:35,400
Jail break!
Jail break!

1022
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:37,700
What's going on?

1023
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:45,800
- Hold it right there!
- No, uh, please-

1024
01:01:45,900 --> 01:01:47,900
You're our only hope.

1025
01:01:52,100 --> 01:01:55,400
Take two of these every three hours.

1026
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:01,100
Oh, my God.

1027
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:06,100
- I love you.
- I know.

1028
01:02:06,100 --> 01:02:08,200
Yeah!

1029
01:02:21,300 --> 01:02:23,400
-
- Mmm.

1030
01:02:23,500 --> 01:02:27,000
Nothing worse than a locked shitter
when you got to turd, am I right?

1031
01:02:27,100 --> 01:02:28,600
Seriously, man.

1032
01:02:31,900 --> 01:02:35,200
That is it, man!
I don't wanna do this anymore!

1033
01:02:35,300 --> 01:02:38,800
Why not? What'd I tell you,
sweet and womanly, right?

1034
01:02:38,900 --> 01:02:40,800
- Womanly?
-

1035
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:43,400
- Make sure you go tell your friends.
- I'll be back.

1036
01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:53,200
Bam, bam, bam!
Hyah! Wanna try that?

1037
01:02:55,700 --> 01:02:59,200
Start the car! Start the van!

1038
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:05,900
Hi!

1039
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:08,000
- Let's do it! Let's do it!
- Oh, my God!

1040
01:03:08,100 --> 01:03:12,500
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1041
01:03:12,500 --> 01:03:15,900
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

1042
01:03:15,900 --> 01:03:17,900
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

1043
01:03:17,900 --> 01:03:21,200
Shut up, man! It was a hundred
miles ago! Stop living in the past!

1044
01:03:21,300 --> 01:03:23,200
Oh, my God!

1045
01:03:23,300 --> 01:03:26,800
Lucas Valley Road.
We gotta steal that sign, guys.

1046
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:37,700
- Zoe, how we looking out there?

1047
01:03:37,700 --> 01:03:42,300
One guard manning the booth.
Couple civvies roaming about.

1048
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:45,800
- Nothing we can't handle.
- All right, fellas,"X" marks our target.

1049
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:49,500
Level"C" editing bays. It's our best chance
for finding the rough cut.

1050
01:03:49,500 --> 01:03:52,700
Excellent. Okay.
Once we've breached the front gate...

1051
01:03:52,700 --> 01:03:57,600
we're gonna be off on foot, so we're gonna
have to take a shortcut at this wall here.

1052
01:03:57,700 --> 01:03:59,800
And you know what that means.

1053
01:03:59,900 --> 01:04:02,000
Are you shitting-
Grappling hook?

1054
01:04:07,500 --> 01:04:10,200
¶ A modern-day warrior
Mean, mean stride ¶

1055
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:13,400
¶ Today's Tom Sawyer
Mean, mean pride ¶

1056
01:04:19,700 --> 01:04:24,000
I can do this.

1057
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,900
- Get up.
- Windows, how's it look up there?

1058
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:30,100
Windows, make sure there are no cameras.

1059
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:32,700
- Can you see anything?

1060
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:35,800
All right, one, two-

1061
01:04:35,900 --> 01:04:40,000
- Oh, Jesus!
- Windows, Jesus!

1062
01:04:41,200 --> 01:04:43,200
-
- Owl

1063
01:04:43,300 --> 01:04:46,100
- Okay.
- Wait. There he is. Good man. Good man.

1064
01:04:46,100 --> 01:04:48,800
Let's go.
Follow my lead. Follow my lead.

1065
01:04:48,900 --> 01:04:52,700
Get down. Stay low. The ninja roll.

1066
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:55,400
Guys, get down!

1067
01:04:55,500 --> 01:04:59,900
- Jackass.
- Guys, wait for me.

1068
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,500
I hate running.

1069
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:06,800
This is like the most exercise
you guys have gotten all year.

1070
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:12,600
This is the one Shatner
said would be open.

1071
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,300
A breach in Skywalker security.

1072
01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:21,900
Wow. Okay, we're in.

1073
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,500
I feel like we're in a Scooby-Doo episode.

1074
01:05:26,600 --> 01:05:30,300
Go, go, go, go.

1075
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:32,300
- Hutch?
- Yeah?

1076
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:35,800
Your ass still smells like ham and cheese.

1077
01:05:40,700 --> 01:05:42,700
Sweet. That way.

1078
01:05:47,500 --> 01:05:49,500
Wow.

1079
01:05:59,300 --> 01:06:02,900
Shatner, don't fail us now, right?

1080
01:06:04,500 --> 01:06:07,000
Whoa.

1081
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,900
Yeah!

1082
01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:20,600
- Oh, my God.
- No way.

1083
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,400
We're home, boys.

1084
01:06:26,500 --> 01:06:28,400
See, that's what I call a collection.

1085
01:06:28,500 --> 01:06:31,300
This is where I want my ashes scattered.

1086
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:43,500
Oh!

1087
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:49,000
-" Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
You're my only hope."

1088
01:06:49,100 --> 01:06:52,600
They've got Indy stuff.

1089
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:54,900
Thermal detonator.

1090
01:06:54,900 --> 01:06:57,200
I think I'm gonna cry.

1091
01:06:57,200 --> 01:07:02,400
Hey. They got Willow's spell book!

1092
01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:04,800
You know, Willow?
Little guy?

1093
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:08,700
Magical-
"Kaiya."

1094
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:10,400
Who cares about Willow?

1095
01:07:10,500 --> 01:07:14,600
Look at this.

1096
01:07:14,700 --> 01:07:17,600
"Throw me the idol."

1097
01:07:18,700 --> 01:07:21,600
Guys, look at this.
"We've got bad dates."

1098
01:07:21,700 --> 01:07:26,400
One kaddam for the Hebrew god.

1099
01:07:26,500 --> 01:07:29,400
We have a breach in the archive room.
Breach in the archive room.

1100
01:07:40,100 --> 01:07:43,100
You know, no matter
how you felt about the guy...

1101
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:47,300
Vader embraced his fate.

1102
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:49,600
He faced death head-on.

1103
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:56,300
No one moves.

1104
01:07:56,400 --> 01:08:00,100
Subjects have been located.
Requesting backup.

1105
01:08:00,100 --> 01:08:02,800
Please step away from Lord Vader.

1106
01:08:02,900 --> 01:08:05,400
Dude, what's up with the outfits?

1107
01:08:05,500 --> 01:08:07,800
Company policy.

1108
01:08:07,900 --> 01:08:10,300
You wanna work here,
you gotta wear the suit.

1109
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:13,800
Carl, you make us wear the suit.

1110
01:08:13,900 --> 01:08:17,300
- Run?
- Run.
- Run.

1111
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:20,500
- Zoe!
- Just go!

1112
01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:23,700
- I'm not leaving without her.
- What, are you crazy? It's three against one!

1113
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:26,100
Never tell me the odds.

1114
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:29,800
There can be only one.

1115
01:08:33,700 --> 01:08:36,600
Time for you to get mauled, boy.

1116
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:46,600
I'm good.

1117
01:08:46,700 --> 01:08:49,200
- Go!
- Let's go!

1118
01:08:49,300 --> 01:08:51,000
Man down! Man down!

1119
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,700
Stop! Don't move!

1120
01:08:59,800 --> 01:09:01,700
Run!

1121
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:04,600
Subjects are fleeing to the west corridor!

1122
01:09:04,700 --> 01:09:07,500
- Go, go, go!
- Stop!

1123
01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:09,300
Go, go!

1124
01:09:09,400 --> 01:09:12,600
Come on!

1125
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:20,500
Hmm. Yoda says going up you are.

1126
01:09:28,400 --> 01:09:32,900
- In!
- Get in! Get your ass in there!

1127
01:09:32,900 --> 01:09:36,000
- Hurry!
- Let's go!

1128
01:09:36,100 --> 01:09:38,300
Move it! Over there!

1129
01:09:38,300 --> 01:09:41,900
Over there! Let's go!

1130
01:09:44,500 --> 01:09:46,500
That was awesome!

1131
01:09:47,700 --> 01:09:50,500
Where the hell are we?

1132
01:09:50,500 --> 01:09:52,700
I have a bad feeling about this.

1133
01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:55,900
Um, you guys don't think that the, um-

1134
01:09:56,000 --> 01:09:58,000
We are in George Lucas's trash room.

1135
01:09:58,100 --> 01:10:01,900
Don't be ridiculous, okay?
The walls are not gonna close in on us.

1136
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:04,700
-

1137
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:08,800
- Holy-
- Jesus!

1138
01:10:10,000 --> 01:10:11,300

1139
01:10:11,300 --> 01:10:13,400
- Let's fortify the walls with this.
- Do it!

1140
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:16,300
- Um, girls?
- Goddamn you, walls!

1141
01:10:16,300 --> 01:10:18,100
Girls!

1142
01:10:18,100 --> 01:10:18,200

1143
01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:20,500
That'd be the air duct.

1144
01:10:20,500 --> 01:10:21,800

1145
01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:22,000
- And that there's the exit.
- Yeah, the exit.

1146
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:24,500
- And that there's the exit.
- Yeah, the exit.

1147
01:10:24,500 --> 01:10:27,500
- And you guys are the big pussies.
- I knew.

1148
01:10:27,500 --> 01:10:30,600
"3PO!
We're all right!"

1149
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:38,200
Guys, this way!

1150
01:10:38,300 --> 01:10:41,400
- Yikes!
- Check in here.

1151
01:10:41,500 --> 01:10:43,400
This one's clear.

1152
01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:55,300
Damn it, shut up!

1153
01:10:58,300 --> 01:11:00,600
I think we lost 'em, right?

1154
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:08,300
Yeah, we lost them for now, but we
cannot run around this place all night.

1155
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,600
Guys!

1156
01:11:15,100 --> 01:11:16,900
We're in the motherboard.
We're in.

1157
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:20,400
- George Lucas's office.
- George Lucas's office!

1158
01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:24,000
Holy shit. Oh, wow.
We're- We're-

1159
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:26,300
- Oh, my God.
- We're in the motherboard.

1160
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:29,300
You guys need to see this.
You guys need to see this. Look.

1161
01:11:31,700 --> 01:11:34,400
-
- Holy Hoth!

1162
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:37,900
- I think this is it. I think this is it.
- Oh, my God.

1163
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:40,600
Play it. Play it.

1164
01:11:40,600 --> 01:11:43,900
Hey, get over here.
Come on.

1165
01:11:47,700 --> 01:11:50,000
- ¶¶
- The crawl!

1166
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:52,700
The crawl!

1167
01:11:52,700 --> 01:11:56,100
- Oh, my God.
- ¶¶

1168
01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:03,000
Come on! Come on!

1169
01:12:08,100 --> 01:12:10,900
- Here you are.
- Yeah.

1170
01:12:13,900 --> 01:12:16,800
That hooker in Vegas gave me something.

1171
01:12:16,900 --> 01:12:18,800
What?

1172
01:12:18,900 --> 01:12:21,100
The truth.

1173
01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:24,600
I'm in love with you and, uh-

1174
01:12:24,600 --> 01:12:26,900
I love you too.

1175
01:12:26,900 --> 01:12:29,800
- Stand back.
-

1176
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:42,900
- Okay, on your feet!
- Us?

1177
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:46,800
- Yeah! Come on up! On your feet!
- Get on outta here! Come on!

1178
01:12:46,900 --> 01:12:49,100
Now! Get on your feet!

1179
01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:51,400
Yeah, get on your feet!
Who the hell are these people?

1180
01:12:51,500 --> 01:12:53,900
- And line up against the wall, all of you!
- Back against the wall!

1181
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:57,300
Get up! What are you talkin' about? Hey!

1182
01:12:57,400 --> 01:13:01,000
Step away from the Millennium Falcon
and line up against the wall.

1183
01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:04,700
- Now!
- Oh.

1184
01:13:04,800 --> 01:13:07,200
- Oh, God.
- Linus, what are you doing, man?

1185
01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:10,000
I'm feeling crazy right now.

1186
01:13:10,100 --> 01:13:13,000
- Dude, do you have any idea
how valuable that thing is?
- Not a good idea.

1187
01:13:13,100 --> 01:13:15,500
Put it down. Come on.
Put it down now!

1188
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:20,100
You guys stand up against the wall,
or I will smash this thing into a billion pieces!

1189
01:13:21,100 --> 01:13:24,100
I will.
I will smash this!

1190
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:26,900
- No.
- What, you think I won't?

1191
01:13:27,000 --> 01:13:29,600
- No, I don't.
- No, you don't, you think that I won't...

1192
01:13:29,700 --> 01:13:31,700
or, no, you don't, you think that I will?

1193
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:35,100
- The first one.
- I'm confused. Who's doing what now?

1194
01:13:35,200 --> 01:13:37,200
- You tell me.
- It doesn't matter.

1195
01:13:37,300 --> 01:13:40,700
Because if he puts down the Millennium
Falcon, I will smash this training remote...

1196
01:13:40,800 --> 01:13:42,300
erasing it from history.

1197
01:13:42,300 --> 01:13:44,900
- Come on, guys. Let's rethink this.
- Shut up, Windows!

1198
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:47,700
- Who's doing what?
- Put down the Millennium Falcon
and the training remote...

1199
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:49,700
or I will destroy this puppet.

1200
01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:52,400
- Craig! You can't!
- Shut up, Barry.

1201
01:13:52,500 --> 01:13:55,000
- Put down Master Yoda!
- You put yours down, damn it!

1202
01:13:55,100 --> 01:13:58,600
I can't do it!

1203
01:13:58,700 --> 01:14:00,800
- All right, everybody shut up!
- Oh!

1204
01:14:00,900 --> 01:14:04,700
Swear to God, this little ewok
is going up in flames! I'll do it.

1205
01:14:04,800 --> 01:14:07,500
- Do it. Go ahead. Burn it.
- I will.

1206
01:14:07,500 --> 01:14:09,400
- Yeah, burn it.
- Guys, nobody wants this.

1207
01:14:09,500 --> 01:14:11,500
- I will.
- Burn it. Burn it.

1208
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,000
- I'm gonna. That's what I said!
- Burn it!

1209
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:17,000
Good. I was always more of
a Star Trek fan anyway.

1210
01:14:17,100 --> 01:14:20,300
Damn Trekkies are everywhere!

1211
01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:26,100
All right, we'll take it from here.
Sir, give me the Falcon.

1212
01:14:28,400 --> 01:14:31,200
- I can't believe I let you guys get me into this.
- Shut up!

1213
01:14:36,400 --> 01:14:39,200
How you guys doing?
You guys doing good?

1214
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,100
So let me get this right.

1215
01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:47,200
You guys wanted to see
our movie early for free.

1216
01:14:47,300 --> 01:14:50,500
So you broke into private property, huh?

1217
01:14:50,500 --> 01:14:52,700
- And you tried to steal it.
- I-I-

1218
01:14:52,700 --> 01:14:54,800
I haven't even seen the movie yet!

1219
01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:56,700
Sir, I understand that this looks bad-

1220
01:14:56,800 --> 01:15:00,200
It looks like three-to-five-years, locked-up,
for-breaking-and-entering bad.

1221
01:15:00,300 --> 01:15:03,300
That's right, sweet cheeks.
By the time y'all walk away from this...

1222
01:15:03,300 --> 01:15:06,000
your faces are gonna be
shrunken and shriveled...

1223
01:15:06,100 --> 01:15:08,500
just like your one nut.

1224
01:15:08,500 --> 01:15:12,400
What? How can he possibly know that?

1225
01:15:12,500 --> 01:15:14,400
Oh, we know about your uniball.

1226
01:15:14,500 --> 01:15:19,300
We know everything,
Mr. Harold Hutchinson, a. k. a. Hutch.

1227
01:15:19,400 --> 01:15:23,200
Son of Gloria.
Humongous Rush fan.

1228
01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:25,400
Dude, you're freaking me out.
How do you know this?

1229
01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:27,500
Because you have a Rush shirt on, dipshit.

1230
01:15:27,600 --> 01:15:32,800
And because we have
a dossier on every single one of you.

1231
01:15:32,800 --> 01:15:34,600
No one move!

1232
01:15:34,700 --> 01:15:37,900
Get your hands off the glass table.

1233
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:40,800
Hello, Mr. Lucas.

1234
01:15:40,900 --> 01:15:42,900
Shut up!
Shut your mouths.

1235
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:46,000
- Yes.
- I can hear his beard.

1236
01:15:46,100 --> 01:15:49,700
Yes. Shut up. Mm-hmm.

1237
01:15:49,700 --> 01:15:53,500
I don't wanna say that it was a hole in my
security, but- How did you guys break in?

1238
01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:55,600
- I used a grappling hook-
- And we climbed-

1239
01:15:55,700 --> 01:15:58,500
- Was William Shatner involved with this?
- No. Not at all.

1240
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:02,300
They said no.
No. No one was hurt. Not yet.

1241
01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:04,500
Mm-hmm.

1242
01:16:04,500 --> 01:16:06,700
Okay. Very well.

1243
01:16:10,300 --> 01:16:15,300
Damn it. I've just been told
that what I said earlier I no longer believe.

1244
01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:17,300
Hmm?

1245
01:16:20,300 --> 01:16:23,600
Mr. Lucas is touched and mildly flattered
by what you have done here.

1246
01:16:23,700 --> 01:16:26,500
And I have been informed
that I feel the same way.

1247
01:16:26,600 --> 01:16:30,800
So the charges are gonna be dropped.

1248
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:33,900
That is, of course, if you are...

1249
01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:36,500
what you appear to be.

1250
01:16:36,600 --> 01:16:38,800
Uh, what do we appear to be?

1251
01:16:38,900 --> 01:16:43,800
Fanboys. Something we can easily
determine with a simple quiz.

1252
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,500
What is the name of the planet
that Leia gave Grand MoffTarkin...

1253
01:16:52,600 --> 01:16:55,000
as the false location of the rebel base
in Episode IV?

1254
01:16:55,100 --> 01:16:58,600
- Dantooine.
- What is the name of the gunner
in Luke's snow speeder?

1255
01:16:58,700 --> 01:17:02,300
- Dak.
- Where is a woman's g-spot located?

1256
01:17:04,500 --> 01:17:07,800
- What?
- If you were to ask a woman to
perform a Mississippi handbag...

1257
01:17:07,800 --> 01:17:10,500
where would your testicles end up?

1258
01:17:10,500 --> 01:17:13,300
That's not a Star Wars question.

1259
01:17:13,400 --> 01:17:16,800
I didn't say the nipples.
I said the little bumps around the nipples.

1260
01:17:16,900 --> 01:17:19,200
Yar-Arr-

1261
01:17:19,300 --> 01:17:21,400
That is not a Louisiana pile driver.

1262
01:17:21,500 --> 01:17:25,600
But you wouldn't know
about that, would you? Hmph. Virgin.

1263
01:17:25,700 --> 01:17:27,700
Virgin.

1264
01:17:27,800 --> 01:17:30,200
Areola borealis?

1265
01:17:30,200 --> 01:17:33,100
Near the-the, um, bumps?

1266
01:17:34,500 --> 01:17:37,500
That's what you do.
You aim for the eye, grab the lip...

1267
01:17:37,600 --> 01:17:39,400
lead her around the room-
blinding the marlin.

1268
01:17:39,500 --> 01:17:42,100
God, you're sexy and well-versed.
I like it.

1269
01:17:43,700 --> 01:17:45,600
Okay. Guards!

1270
01:17:45,600 --> 01:17:48,100
- Okay, that's it.
- That's what happens. Okay, I got it. All right.

1271
01:17:48,100 --> 01:17:50,100
- I'm good.
- Bye-bye.

1272
01:17:50,100 --> 01:17:55,000
Congratulations.
Mr. Lucas has decided to drop the charges.

1273
01:17:57,700 --> 01:17:59,900
So, what?
We're free to go, right?

1274
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:03,300
Well, not exactly.
He says you can watch the film.

1275
01:18:03,300 --> 01:18:06,700
What?
We can watch the movie?

1276
01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:11,000
Hold it. Hold it.
Only you.

1277
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:18,200
It's good, man.
It's right.

1278
01:18:23,600 --> 01:18:27,500
¶ Hey, are you lonely ¶

1279
01:18:28,800 --> 01:18:33,200
- ¶ Has summer gone so slowly ¶

1280
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:37,400
¶ We found the ground ¶

1281
01:18:37,500 --> 01:18:41,700
¶ And that damage was done ¶

1282
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:45,600
¶ It's cold
as you fade into the sun ¶

1283
01:18:47,200 --> 01:18:50,400
¶ Where'd you go ¶

1284
01:18:52,600 --> 01:18:55,900
¶ To me ¶

1285
01:19:03,600 --> 01:19:05,800
¶ But you're alive ¶

1286
01:19:05,900 --> 01:19:07,900
¶ Well, it's only ¶

1287
01:19:09,400 --> 01:19:13,600
¶ Fallen frames
they told me ¶

1288
01:19:13,700 --> 01:19:17,200
¶ You stand out ¶

1289
01:19:17,200 --> 01:19:20,400
¶ It's so loud
and so what if it is ¶

1290
01:19:22,300 --> 01:19:26,700
¶ It's cold as you face
into the wind ¶

1291
01:19:26,700 --> 01:19:28,700
Chewie.

1292
01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:35,300
¶ Tonight the sun
shall see its light ¶

1293
01:19:35,400 --> 01:19:40,500
¶ So what if you catch me
Where would we land ¶

1294
01:19:40,500 --> 01:19:46,000
¶ In somebody's life
for taking his hands ¶

1295
01:19:46,100 --> 01:19:51,300
¶ Sing to me hope
as she's thrown on the sand ¶

1296
01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:56,900
¶ All of our work
is rated again ¶

1297
01:19:58,000 --> 01:20:00,000
¶ Where to go ¶¶

1298
01:20:08,400 --> 01:20:11,700
- That's not bad.
- Thanks, man.

1299
01:20:23,300 --> 01:20:26,500
There's something I need to-
I should...

1300
01:20:26,500 --> 01:20:28,600
probably tell you before, uh-

1301
01:20:28,600 --> 01:20:31,800
Before I'm gone.

1302
01:20:31,800 --> 01:20:35,000
You could say it.
I won't hold it against you.

1303
01:20:36,700 --> 01:20:40,500
I just- I wish I could...

1304
01:20:42,800 --> 01:20:45,900
change these last three years, you know.

1305
01:20:47,400 --> 01:20:50,700
You know, I wouldn't want you to.

1306
01:20:50,800 --> 01:20:53,300
You gotta keep the flaws.

1307
01:20:53,300 --> 01:20:55,500
Crappy effects.

1308
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:57,600
Real puppets.

1309
01:20:57,600 --> 01:21:00,300
That's what makes it so good, you know?

1310
01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:02,300
Yeah.

1311
01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:06,000
This was never about the movie.

1312
01:21:06,100 --> 01:21:10,600
You know, this was, uh-
this was about all of us.

1313
01:21:12,400 --> 01:21:14,600
Hey.

1314
01:21:17,200 --> 01:21:21,000
Look at us.
We're together again, freezing our nuts off.

1315
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:23,300
No teaming up! That's a rule!

1316
01:21:23,400 --> 01:21:25,600
You're such dicks!

1317
01:21:25,600 --> 01:21:28,400
- Both of you are dicks!
- I'm gonna go save him.

1318
01:21:28,500 --> 01:21:30,700
- Please.
- You coming?

1319
01:21:30,700 --> 01:21:33,500
No, I'm good right here.

1320
01:21:34,600 --> 01:21:36,600
All right, man.

1321
01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:47,400
I'm good right here.

1322
01:22:04,400 --> 01:22:06,200
Guys, it's time.

1323
01:22:08,100 --> 01:22:12,000
That better be your lucky R2 poking me.

1324
01:22:12,100 --> 01:22:14,800
Nope. My penis.

1325
01:22:17,500 --> 01:22:19,500
You guys are gross.

1326
01:22:40,100 --> 01:22:42,600
Any, uh-
Any sign of Hutch?

1327
01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:52,300
- Talk to me.
- It's me. Where the hell are you?

1328
01:22:52,400 --> 01:22:54,800
I'm just finishing up
at the garage here, man.

1329
01:22:54,900 --> 01:22:58,500
- Shake a leg, ya bastard. We're saving your place.
- All right.

1330
01:23:08,700 --> 01:23:11,000
Okay!

1331
01:23:11,100 --> 01:23:15,000
Yes! That's awesome.
That's awesome.

1332
01:23:15,000 --> 01:23:17,700
- Hey!
- Hey! Oh, my God!

1333
01:23:17,800 --> 01:23:19,700
Right at the buzzer.

1334
01:23:19,800 --> 01:23:21,600
Yeah!

1335
01:23:23,600 --> 01:23:26,600
Excuse me.
Are you Eric Bottler?

1336
01:23:26,700 --> 01:23:28,100
Yeah.

1337
01:23:30,500 --> 01:23:33,800
- We just got your new comic.
- Whoa.

1338
01:23:33,900 --> 01:23:36,300
- Thanks, guys. I appreciate that.
- I don't.

1339
01:23:36,300 --> 01:23:38,400
I think it's quite shoddy.

1340
01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:42,000
- Worst series ever.
- Total Lucas rip-off!

1341
01:23:42,100 --> 01:23:45,500
- The artwork is neophyte.
- At best.

1342
01:23:45,600 --> 01:23:48,300
- What's up, my nerds?
- Ah.

1343
01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:52,100
Why don't you ask the man for an autograph?
Ask the man for an autograph!

1344
01:23:53,800 --> 01:23:56,300
Do it!

1345
01:23:56,300 --> 01:23:59,800
"You are a douche bag.

1346
01:23:59,900 --> 01:24:02,900
Love, Eric Bottler."
Here you go.

1347
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:07,200
All right, let's move it,
Boba Fags. End of the line.

1348
01:24:07,300 --> 01:24:10,200
- Move it! Let's go!
- Chaz, what the hell are you doing here, man?

1349
01:24:10,300 --> 01:24:12,700
Ah, come on, bro.
It's the Wars.

1350
01:24:12,800 --> 01:24:15,700
I love that about you.

1351
01:24:15,800 --> 01:24:19,300
Look at you, C-3Penis Face.
How'd you pull that trim?

1352
01:24:27,400 --> 01:24:29,100
- Doctor.
- Oh!

1353
01:24:29,200 --> 01:24:31,100
- Smart man.
- Thank you, sir.

1354
01:24:31,200 --> 01:24:32,900
They're good. There you go.

1355
01:24:33,000 --> 01:24:36,400
- Hey, you guys. To Linus.
- Yeah, to Linus.

1356
01:24:52,000 --> 01:24:54,900
- Hey, you guys.
- What, man?

1357
01:24:54,900 --> 01:24:57,700
What if the movie sucks?


