2
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,211
And that's the news.

3
00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:14,751
But before we sign off, we'd like
to congratulate our very own Evan Baxter,

4
00:01:14,786 --> 00:01:18,112
who has just been elected
Buffalo's representative to Congress.

5
00:01:18,653 --> 00:01:20,428
And, now, we have
a surprise for Evan.

6
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:21,213
- No, you don't.
- We do.

7
00:01:21,213 --> 00:01:24,113
Oh, no. I really
didn't expect this.

8
00:01:24,547 --> 00:01:27,210
Here's a look back
at his run for office.

9
00:01:29,453 --> 00:01:30,755
<i>What are we gonna do?</i>

10
00:01:31,018 --> 00:01:32,666
<i>Change the world!</i>

11
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:33,857
<i>That's right!</i>

12
00:01:40,519 --> 00:01:42,780
<i>Baxter! Baxter! Baxter!</i>

13
00:01:49,681 --> 00:01:50,343
<i>Hi.</i>

14
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:51,618
<i>Baxter! Baxter!</i>

15
00:01:51,618 --> 00:01:53,429
<i>That's right!</i>

16
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:02,737
I feel like that old Indian
in front of all the garbage.

17
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:09,343
So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter
for "Eyewitness News". Good night.

18
00:02:25,441 --> 00:02:28,844
<i>Huntsville, Virginia.
Prestige Crest, four miles.</i>

19
00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:30,503
What did we do
before GPS?

20
00:02:30,615 --> 00:02:31,375
Nothing.

21
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,722
Guys, dad's very proud of
his new car.

22
00:02:33,814 --> 00:02:38,450
He-hey, I am proud of my new car.
Look, I'm a politician now.

23
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:41,308
I'm in the public eye, and as you know,
when you are in the public eye,

24
00:02:41,308 --> 00:02:43,188
image is everything,
isn't it?

25
00:02:47,976 --> 00:02:50,681
Here it is!
Welcome to the good life.

26
00:02:50,681 --> 00:02:54,476
Hey, guys, why the long faces?
We're off on a new adventure!

27
00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:57,434
It's just we're gonna
miss our friends.

28
00:02:57,531 --> 00:02:59,479
You'll make new friends,
better friends.

29
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:00,738
Yeah, richer friends.

30
00:03:00,738 --> 00:03:04,559
Do not mouth off to me, sir.
I am the boss of you.

31
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,264
And let me tell you something,
you guys are gonna love this place.

32
00:03:07,329 --> 00:03:11,123
Oh, and you know what? I think there's
something for our fishermen up there.

33
00:03:12,006 --> 00:03:15,247
Baxter family,
this is what's called a scenic vista.

34
00:03:15,247 --> 00:03:19,316
And I don't think the big man himself
could do a better job. Pretty cool, huh?

35
00:03:19,351 --> 00:03:21,952
Hey, dad, an iguana can
stay underwater for 28 minutes.

36
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:22,310
What's that?

37
00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:24,027
- And a shrimp's heart is in its head.
- Really?

38
00:03:24,048 --> 00:03:26,355
Okay, someone's had enough
"Animal Planet" for one lifetime.

39
00:03:26,355 --> 00:03:28,291
Yeah, let's head out! Come on.
The best is yet to come!

40
00:03:30,092 --> 00:03:32,855
Gentlemen, I have saved
the best for last.

41
00:03:33,045 --> 00:03:36,721
Look over to the right.
That... is your new home.

42
00:03:42,966 --> 00:03:43,728
Whoa!

43
00:03:43,728 --> 00:03:44,918
That's our house?

44
00:03:44,918 --> 00:03:46,210
- Uh-huh.
- I don't remember it being

45
00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:48,526
this big in the brochure.
Was it this big in the brochure?

46
00:03:48,526 --> 00:03:49,441
Pretty amazing, isn't it?

47
00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:51,590
There they are!

48
00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:55,254
Is this curb appeal or what?

49
00:03:55,254 --> 00:03:56,484
Here we go!

50
00:03:56,871 --> 00:03:58,729
Ooh, honey, I think
you're blocking my photo.

51
00:03:58,729 --> 00:03:59,294
Sorry.

52
00:03:59,294 --> 00:04:01,643
All right, everybody!
Say "escrow"!

53
00:04:01,643 --> 00:04:04,905
Escrow!

54
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,383
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Come on. Go. Go. Go.

55
00:04:07,938 --> 00:04:09,932
Guys, easy.

56
00:04:12,356 --> 00:04:13,880
This is our house?

57
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:14,906
Uh-huh.

58
00:04:15,501 --> 00:04:16,524
Careful!

59
00:04:16,905 --> 00:04:18,700
- Oh, honey, be careful!
- Watch it!

60
00:04:18,735 --> 00:04:19,817
Are you kidding me?

61
00:04:19,852 --> 00:04:21,114
- Mom, can we go upstairs?
- Yep.

62
00:04:21,114 --> 00:04:22,515
- And I get my own room, right?
- Yep.

63
00:04:24,171 --> 00:04:26,891
Mr. Baxter, could you give us some
direction on these kitchen cabinets?

64
00:04:26,987 --> 00:04:27,828
Sure.

65
00:04:27,913 --> 00:04:32,283
Okay, it's between your maple
and your old-growth Brazilian cherry.

66
00:04:32,283 --> 00:04:34,290
Ooh, that is nice!
Which is best?

67
00:04:34,363 --> 00:04:37,437
Well, if you're not sensitive
to that "save the rainforest" stuff,

68
00:04:37,437 --> 00:04:39,014
you can't beat
the Brazilian cherry.

69
00:04:39,014 --> 00:04:40,335
It's two-three hundred years old.

70
00:04:40,335 --> 00:04:41,765
- Three hundred years.
- Three hundred.

71
00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:43,118
Wow. That is old.

72
00:04:43,401 --> 00:04:45,891
And now you are going
to hold my dishes.

73
00:04:45,963 --> 00:04:47,668
- That's right. You going with the cherry?
- Cheery cherry!

74
00:04:47,668 --> 00:04:49,376
- Yeah. Definitely.
- He's going with the cherry!

75
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,241
Dad, look!

76
00:04:51,241 --> 00:04:52,801
Oh. No. No, no, no, no! No.

77
00:04:52,801 --> 00:04:55,082
Ryan, do not touch him, please!

78
00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:57,027
Oh, no, no, no, no,
get him away!

79
00:04:57,027 --> 00:04:59,452
No. He might have lice, fleas,
maggots or something.

80
00:04:59,452 --> 00:05:01,529
You do not play with stray dogs
because they are very...

81
00:05:01,653 --> 00:05:04,276
Ooh! No, no!
Get away, get away! Go!

82
00:05:05,128 --> 00:05:06,870
Okay. Oh, no, no, no.

83
00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:08,061
- He's thirsty.
- No, no, no.

84
00:05:08,096 --> 00:05:11,323
No, you don't!
There we go.

85
00:05:11,358 --> 00:05:12,874
Well, Ryan, he's a stray.

86
00:05:12,874 --> 00:05:14,525
If we give him water,
he's just going to come back.

87
00:05:14,525 --> 00:05:18,100
Come on, dad, why can't we keep him?
I mean, we've got a new house.

88
00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,044
Okay, Ryan, this is why
we can't keep him.

89
00:05:20,079 --> 00:05:22,808
They are stinky. They are smelly.
They get hair all over the place.

90
00:05:22,808 --> 00:05:24,024
They get a little thing
called the mange.

91
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:27,056
In a nutshell, he is disgusting.
Case in point.

92
00:05:32,038 --> 00:05:35,153
Ladies and gentlemen,
this concludes day one

93
00:05:35,153 --> 00:05:36,935
of the Baxters'
new and exciting life.

94
00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:38,879
I have to do
the new house dance.

95
00:05:39,599 --> 00:05:41,561
Wow! That dance?

96
00:05:41,749 --> 00:05:43,054
- Mmm-hmm.
- That's a good new house dance.

97
00:05:43,154 --> 00:05:44,454
Thank you.

98
00:05:44,982 --> 00:05:47,231
You know, those boys were having
so much fun tonight,

99
00:05:47,231 --> 00:05:49,048
I thought I would never
get them to bed.

100
00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:54,133
And then Ryan did the cutest thing.
He asked if we could all pray together.

101
00:05:57,045 --> 00:05:57,118
Really? What, uh,
what did you pray about?

102
00:05:57,153 --> 00:05:59,197
He met a dog.
What do you think he prayed for?

103
00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:03,954
Just a walking petri dish,
that dog.

104
00:06:03,983 --> 00:06:06,138
And Jordan was very precise.

105
00:06:06,138 --> 00:06:10,163
He prayed for... good visibility,
good weather on the hiking trip tomorrow.

106
00:06:10,177 --> 00:06:13,691
The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah.
The hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

107
00:06:13,691 --> 00:06:15,340
You wanna know
what I prayed for?

108
00:06:15,436 --> 00:06:17,236
Yeah. What did you pray for?

109
00:06:17,595 --> 00:06:21,064
I prayed we would
become closer as a family.

110
00:06:21,532 --> 00:06:26,446
Honey, you don't need to pray for that
to happen. I will make that happen.

111
00:06:27,693 --> 00:06:29,166
What would you pray for?

112
00:06:29,291 --> 00:06:32,275
Me? I don't know.
Praying just...

113
00:06:33,806 --> 00:06:37,893
Honey, you're the one who said
you wanted to change the world.

114
00:06:38,121 --> 00:06:40,251
It's a pretty big job.

115
00:06:40,417 --> 00:06:42,953
If it were me,
I would take all the help I could get.

116
00:06:48,303 --> 00:06:51,388
<i>Former Buffalo News anchor,
Evan Baxter, takes office tomorrow</i>

117
00:06:51,388 --> 00:06:53,833
<i>to make good on
a lofty campaign promise.</i>

118
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:54,985
<i>What are we gonna do?</i>

119
00:06:54,985 --> 00:06:56,375
<i>Change the world!</i>

120
00:06:56,410 --> 00:07:00,112
<i>Good luck, Congressman.
Many have tried, many have failed.</i>

121
00:07:00,147 --> 00:07:00,766
<i>Hello!</i>

122
00:07:00,766 --> 00:07:02,872
<i>This is Regina Sparks
reporting for NS...</i>

123
00:07:20,538 --> 00:07:22,691
Hello, there. Hi.

124
00:07:23,337 --> 00:07:25,898
This is Evan... Baxter.

125
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,880
Um... Just wanted to say
thank you for everything.

126
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,937
Thank you for the new car
and for the house.

127
00:07:33,937 --> 00:07:36,770
The house is great.
Um, love it.

128
00:07:37,351 --> 00:07:42,086
I mean, I picked it out, but...
you created matter and everything, so...

129
00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:49,132
Um... I just wanted to say that I think
Joan makes a good point,

130
00:07:49,132 --> 00:07:53,877
and... that I am now
in a position of great power,

131
00:07:53,877 --> 00:07:58,061
and I know that with great power
comes great responsibility.

132
00:07:59,864 --> 00:08:02,009
So, God,

133
00:08:05,829 --> 00:08:08,683
please help me
change the world.

134
00:08:10,155 --> 00:08:13,333
Okay. That's it.
I'm hanging up now.

135
00:08:13,921 --> 00:08:16,446
God bless... well, you. Okay.

136
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:41,557
What? That's weird.

137
00:08:41,847 --> 00:08:42,783
What?

138
00:08:42,818 --> 00:08:44,522
I set the alarm for 7:00.

139
00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:20,718
I am successful. I am powerful.
I am handsome.

140
00:09:20,718 --> 00:09:23,280
I am happy, successful,
powerful, handsome, happy.

141
00:09:29,618 --> 00:09:29,635
All right, everyone, wish me luck.
The Congressman has left the building.

142
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:34,422
All right, Baxter brood, I will see you
later on this afternoon for the big hike. Huh? Yes?

143
00:09:34,912 --> 00:09:36,278
You psyched? Are you ready?

144
00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:36,990
Yeah.

145
00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:37,891
- Bye.
- Good luck, honey.

146
00:09:37,991 --> 00:09:39,613
- See ya. Bye, guys!
- See you later.

147
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:40,796
Later, gator.

148
00:09:42,292 --> 00:09:44,044
Oh, gosh.

149
00:09:44,073 --> 00:09:46,786
Wow. Honey,
did you order anything?

150
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,191
"Alpha and Omega Hardware"?

151
00:09:49,191 --> 00:09:50,005
Never heard of them.

152
00:09:50,005 --> 00:09:51,082
Me either.

153
00:09:52,351 --> 00:09:53,916
What do we have?

154
00:09:55,389 --> 00:09:56,804
What is this stuff?

155
00:09:58,611 --> 00:10:00,248
Must have the wrong address.

156
00:10:00,826 --> 00:10:03,046
Yup. The wrong address.

157
00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:07,534
- Congressman Baxter. Good morning.
- Good morning.

158
00:10:07,669 --> 00:10:09,192
- Good morning, Congressman Baxter.
- Hello.

159
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,327
- Good morning, Congressman Baxter.
- Good morning.

160
00:10:11,937 --> 00:10:15,166
Oh, this is so cool.

161
00:10:16,894 --> 00:10:17,843
Uh-huh.

162
00:10:17,855 --> 00:10:19,917
Yeah. This'll work.

163
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:23,846
There he is! The head honcho.
The big kahuna.

164
00:10:23,846 --> 00:10:25,752
Rita, I think
I have to do the dance.

165
00:10:25,787 --> 00:10:27,084
Do the dance.

166
00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:31,985
That's enough
of the dance.

167
00:10:32,020 --> 00:10:34,420
Oh, this is nice!
This is really nice!

168
00:10:34,455 --> 00:10:36,532
This is too nice.
There's something crooked going on.

169
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,327
Do you smell anthrax?

170
00:10:38,362 --> 00:10:40,020
- Congressman!
- Hey, Marty!

171
00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:41,735
Ooh. Nice sound to that.
I like it.

172
00:10:41,770 --> 00:10:42,568
Here they are!

173
00:10:43,629 --> 00:10:44,850
All right.

174
00:10:44,885 --> 00:10:46,524
You remember Sarah,
Allen, Michael.

175
00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:48,720
I don't think you know the new kid
Eugene Tennanbaum.

176
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,716
I found him at G.W.

177
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:53,175
Sort of a walking search engine. Watch this.
How many stars on the flag in 1818?

178
00:10:53,175 --> 00:10:53,685
15.

179
00:10:53,685 --> 00:10:55,811
And Congressman Baxter's
coffee habits?

180
00:10:55,811 --> 00:10:58,934
He likes a morning latte with a cruller,
a decaf espresso after lunch,

181
00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:00,836
served sans pastry of any kind.

182
00:11:00,836 --> 00:11:03,236
Very impressive. A little freaky,
but I like this kid.

183
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,015
I love you.

184
00:11:05,877 --> 00:11:06,905
Hmm?

185
00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:10,951
I mean, we should hang out socially.
I just got a ping-pong table.

186
00:11:10,951 --> 00:11:12,524
Not... going to happen.

187
00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:16,012
Go find out where his license plates are.
Everybody else, back to your holes.

188
00:11:16,012 --> 00:11:16,607
He was actually right.

189
00:11:16,707 --> 00:11:18,862
I'm doing
a background check on that kid.

190
00:11:18,927 --> 00:11:23,801
Ta-da! This, my friend, is a power office,
to remind you of the mission!

191
00:11:23,801 --> 00:11:25,170
"Change the world!"

192
00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:27,131
Okay, Evan, who do you know?
- What do you mean?

193
00:11:27,131 --> 00:11:29,129
Oh, come on.
Yesterday we're in the basement.

194
00:11:29,129 --> 00:11:30,991
Today, look at this place.
It's like the Emerald City!

195
00:11:31,026 --> 00:11:34,433
"Enjoy your office.
Your neighbor, Congressman Long."

196
00:11:34,468 --> 00:11:36,638
Congressman Long did thi...?
Did you say "neighbor"?

197
00:11:36,673 --> 00:11:39,581
That's right. He lives in Prestige Crest,
right up the street.

198
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,413
Evan, you gotta tell me these things.
Think of the publicity angle on this!

199
00:11:43,448 --> 00:11:45,937
You and Congressman Long
having a barbecue.

200
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:48,011
Congressman Long
eating your hot dog.

201
00:11:48,046 --> 00:11:49,662
Hate to break up
your little weenie roast.

202
00:11:49,697 --> 00:11:52,302
Congressman Long's assistant
just dropped this off.

203
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,413
The Congressman
would like for you

204
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,186
to junior cosponsor this bill
that he's introducing.

205
00:11:56,186 --> 00:12:00,471
Hold on. Congressman Long asked us to
junior cosponsor his bill? What's the bill?

206
00:12:00,506 --> 00:12:03,317
The... Citizens' Integration
of Public Lands Act.

207
00:12:03,317 --> 00:12:06,898
Never heard of it. Gene, here, now.
Rita, why didn't you tell me about this?

208
00:12:06,898 --> 00:12:07,799
I just did.

209
00:12:07,799 --> 00:12:09,573
You need to tell me about it
before I need to know about it.

210
00:12:09,573 --> 00:12:11,215
- Marty, you are not the vice congressman.
- I am the legislative...

211
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:15,116
Nobody voted for you. If Evan gets shot
in the head, you do not automatically...

212
00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:17,116
If Evan got shot in the head,
you're the first suspect.

213
00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:18,216
Play nice. Play nice.

214
00:12:18,316 --> 00:12:20,317
All right, Eugene,
Congressman Long's bill. What is it?

215
00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:23,417
HR7124, better known as CINPLAN.

216
00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:26,638
The bill would open up fringe areas
of the national parks for development.

217
00:12:26,638 --> 00:12:27,618
Long's been sitting on it
for ages...

218
00:12:27,718 --> 00:12:30,158
Got it. Pause.
Come on, Evan, this is huge.

219
00:12:30,193 --> 00:12:31,891
You hitch your wagon
to the right star,

220
00:12:31,891 --> 00:12:34,039
you could ride all the way down
to Pennsylvania Avenue.

221
00:12:34,039 --> 00:12:35,446
This is day one.

222
00:12:35,481 --> 00:12:37,677
You got your name on
a major piece of legislation!

223
00:12:37,712 --> 00:12:40,464
Oh, and another thing,
he wants you to read it today.

224
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,020
Well, I can't... do it today.

225
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:43,220
I promised my kids...
- Eugene.

226
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,462
Well, sir, there's
a time clock on the bill.

227
00:12:45,462 --> 00:12:47,321
If Congressman Long wants to
pass it this quarter,

228
00:12:47,607 --> 00:12:50,026
he's gonna have to introduce it
to the committee immediately.

229
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,593
I'm personally going with whatever
Congressman Baxter decides,

230
00:12:52,593 --> 00:12:55,010
because if I could be like one man,
it'd be him.

231
00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:57,004
Either him or Kareem.

232
00:12:57,004 --> 00:12:58,146
Can I tase him?

233
00:12:58,146 --> 00:12:59,516
Gene! Heel!

234
00:12:59,551 --> 00:13:00,821
It'd probably be you.

235
00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:04,439
Come on, Evan, this is it!
This is why we came here!

236
00:13:04,474 --> 00:13:06,666
It's world-changing time!

237
00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:10,923
Hey, anybody home?

238
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,257
Hey, dad, come on.
We're in here!

239
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,188
Hey, guys.

240
00:13:14,029 --> 00:13:17,638
Dad, guess what? I got all your stuff
packed up so that we can...

241
00:13:19,149 --> 00:13:20,282
What's wrong?

242
00:13:21,462 --> 00:13:22,989
We're not going,
are we?

243
00:13:23,024 --> 00:13:28,098
First things first. I have been asked
to junior cosponsor a bill.

244
00:13:28,537 --> 00:13:29,515
Yeah.

245
00:13:29,624 --> 00:13:32,335
See? I told you.
And you owe me five bucks.

246
00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:33,797
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Guys!

247
00:13:33,832 --> 00:13:36,695
Hey. Hey, we said we would
have to make sacrifices, right?

248
00:13:36,695 --> 00:13:39,062
Yeah. Whatever.
New house, same old dad.

249
00:13:39,062 --> 00:13:41,071
Hey, I'm the one
who has to read this thing!

250
00:13:41,106 --> 00:13:45,578
Hey. Did you hear?
Junior cosponsor of a bill.

251
00:13:47,222 --> 00:13:51,815
Okay, Ry, let's clean all this stuff up.
Dad's got work to do.

252
00:14:08,784 --> 00:14:10,634
No. It's 6:14.

253
00:14:10,734 --> 00:14:15,195
Of course.
Voodoo clock speaks again.

254
00:14:22,656 --> 00:14:23,649
What the...

255
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:29,062
Hey! Hey! Hey! No. Okay.

256
00:14:29,062 --> 00:14:31,583
Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa!
What's going on?

257
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:34,564
I got a delivery
for... Evan Baxter!

258
00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:36,441
Yeah, that's not mine.
I didn't order that!

259
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:40,105
I just deliver, guy, huh?
You got a complaint, call the number!

260
00:14:40,105 --> 00:14:44,223
No! Hey! Listen!
We are 416, not 614!

261
00:14:44,223 --> 00:14:48,490
You've got the wrong house!
You can't leave that there!

262
00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:51,066
Listen! Listen!

263
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,190
That's gonna leave a brown patch!

264
00:14:54,042 --> 00:14:56,346
I am a U.S. Congressman!

265
00:15:08,618 --> 00:15:10,369
Dad, what are you doing?
I'm watching this.

266
00:15:10,404 --> 00:15:12,141
Genesis 6:14.

267
00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:17,330
Gen 6:14.

268
00:15:17,689 --> 00:15:19,788
Joan!
Do we have a Bible anywhere?

269
00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:29,917
Genesis 6:14.

270
00:15:29,952 --> 00:15:32,529
"Make thee an ark
of gopher wood..."

271
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,661
Gopher wood?

272
00:15:47,349 --> 00:15:49,559
"Go-4-wood." Get it?

273
00:15:53,457 --> 00:15:57,216
Well, it's... not really gopher wood.
I just like the wordplay.

274
00:15:57,251 --> 00:15:58,482
No, it's pine and maple.

275
00:15:58,517 --> 00:16:01,970
It was clear-cut from this valley
to make room for all those houses.

276
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,863
Excuse me.
Do I know you?

277
00:16:03,898 --> 00:16:05,650
Not as well as I'd like.

278
00:16:07,261 --> 00:16:09,552
I see you got
my housewarming gift.

279
00:16:09,813 --> 00:16:12,307
That was you?
You sent those?

280
00:16:12,442 --> 00:16:14,859
What are they for? Hey! Hey.

281
00:16:15,113 --> 00:16:17,669
Genesis, chapter six,
verse fourteen.

282
00:16:18,081 --> 00:16:19,953
I want you to build an ark.

283
00:16:19,988 --> 00:16:22,282
You want me
to build an ark.

284
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,368
Yes.

285
00:16:23,528 --> 00:16:28,741
So that's why the tools...
And you are responsible for the wood?

286
00:16:29,582 --> 00:16:32,043
All right.
Well, let's just start over.

287
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,288
Hello, I am Evan Ba...

288
00:16:35,288 --> 00:16:38,482
Evan Baxter.
Born June 15, 1962.

289
00:16:38,482 --> 00:16:40,010
Eight pounds, 11 ounces.

290
00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:43,538
Mother's Carroll Ann Parker.
Father, Eugene Evan Baxter.

291
00:16:43,538 --> 00:16:47,614
Ooh-hoo-hoo. You have internet access.
Very impressive. Do you also have cable?

292
00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:51,087
You're a clean freak. You care much
too much about your outward appearance.

293
00:16:51,087 --> 00:16:53,602
Your left nipple is a quarter inch
higher than your right nipple.

294
00:16:53,602 --> 00:16:57,043
And when you were a little boy,
you were afraid of Gumby.

295
00:16:58,253 --> 00:16:59,598
Who are you?

296
00:17:00,593 --> 00:17:02,019
I'm God.

297
00:17:02,441 --> 00:17:03,774
You're God?

298
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:09,200
Yes. And I want you, Evan Baxter,
to build an ark.

299
00:17:09,957 --> 00:17:15,032
Okay. You know what? This conversation
is a little thing I like to call... over!

300
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:20,039
But I gotta get going, because,
frankly, I have an ark to build.

301
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:24,327
Busy, busy, busy, busy. Nice meeting you.
Take care. Oh, and...

302
00:17:28,734 --> 00:17:31,080
All right,
see you later!

303
00:17:33,112 --> 00:17:36,684
Shake it off, Evan. It's over.
The nutcase is gone.

304
00:17:36,684 --> 00:17:39,911
I am successful, I'm powerful,
I'm handsome, I'm happy.

305
00:17:39,911 --> 00:17:41,802
Successful, powerful,
handsome, happy!

306
00:17:43,538 --> 00:17:45,861
Get it out, son.
It's the beginning of wisdom.

307
00:17:45,861 --> 00:17:48,050
How did you get in here?
I'm calling the cops.

308
00:17:48,085 --> 00:17:50,669
Oh, no. No need! Look! Look.
There's one right there. Right there.

309
00:17:51,014 --> 00:17:56,964
Officer! Officer! Officer! Carjacker!
Carjacker in the car! Carjacker in the car!

310
00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:03,864
Careful pulling out.
Pedestrian in the crosswalk.

311
00:18:35,295 --> 00:18:37,306
Shake it off, shake it off!
Shake it off, shake it off!

312
00:18:41,155 --> 00:18:42,349
Morning, chief!

313
00:18:43,462 --> 00:18:44,566
Good morning, Rita.

314
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:47,402
You almost scared me to death!
What's wrong with you?

315
00:18:47,437 --> 00:18:49,419
Nothing.
Just sort of a weird ride in.

316
00:18:49,437 --> 00:18:50,078
Weird how?

317
00:18:50,178 --> 00:18:51,866
It was just
a weird ride in.

318
00:18:52,081 --> 00:18:54,235
Okay, well,
thanks for clarifying.

319
00:18:55,226 --> 00:18:57,561
Here's your mail and your schedule.
- Okay.

320
00:18:57,561 --> 00:19:01,099
Oh, and they finally fixed the phones.
My new extension is 6-14.

321
00:19:03,192 --> 00:19:04,247
6-14.

322
00:19:04,247 --> 00:19:05,381
Yeah. 6-1-4?

323
00:19:05,481 --> 00:19:06,812
Right.

324
00:19:07,558 --> 00:19:09,348
You want me
to write that down?

325
00:19:10,012 --> 00:19:12,122
I'd rather you didn't.

326
00:19:13,242 --> 00:19:14,161
Good morning.

327
00:19:14,266 --> 00:19:16,582
Hey, Long came through with that seat
on the House Resource Committee.

328
00:19:16,682 --> 00:19:19,183
You stuck in your thumb
and pulled out a plum, my friend.

329
00:19:19,454 --> 00:19:21,183
Also, the new Congressional plates
just came in.

330
00:19:21,283 --> 00:19:24,684
Gene, plates, now. And Alex
at the Buffalo office had her baby.

331
00:19:24,784 --> 00:19:26,584
- Boy or girl?
- A little boy. And here he is.

332
00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:29,785
Just as cute as a button. Not bad
for such an ugly woman. Weighed in at...

333
00:19:29,885 --> 00:19:31,585
Six pounds, 14 ounces.

334
00:19:32,385 --> 00:19:33,585
How'd you know that?

335
00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:34,685
Lucky guess.

336
00:19:35,886 --> 00:19:40,897
Hot, hot, hot! Hot off the press!
It's a joke. Here are your plates, sir.

337
00:19:41,986 --> 00:19:44,187
Those are rock-star plates, man.
You can park anywhere.

338
00:19:44,187 --> 00:19:45,287
You can't be
sitting in a chair.

339
00:19:45,387 --> 00:19:46,887
You got a committee meeting
in five minutes.

340
00:19:46,887 --> 00:19:52,329
Come on, BMIC, Big Man in Congress.
Evan Baxter, the shark on the move.

341
00:19:59,513 --> 00:20:01,537
House Resources Committee
is now in order.

342
00:20:01,537 --> 00:20:03,590
The Chair recognizes the congresswoman
from Tennessee

343
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,654
to lead the Pledge of Allegiance.

344
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:09,026
I pledge allegiance
to the flag...

345
00:20:09,061 --> 00:20:11,591
of the United States of America

346
00:20:11,691 --> 00:20:15,292
and to the Republic,
for which it stands...

347
00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:17,292
- ...one nation, under me...
- One nation, under God...

348
00:20:17,292 --> 00:20:21,493
Indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.

349
00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:26,606
How long do you want to do this, son?
I've got all eternity.

350
00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:39,952
Hey. You okay,
young man?

351
00:20:41,538 --> 00:20:42,978
- What happened?
- You fainted.

352
00:20:42,978 --> 00:20:44,942
Dropped like a leaf
during the Pledge of Allegiance.

353
00:20:44,942 --> 00:20:47,428
Chuck Long,
Resources Committee Chairman.

354
00:20:47,428 --> 00:20:50,797
Oh. Oh. Congressman Long. Yes.
Oh, I'm so... I'm so sorry...

355
00:20:50,897 --> 00:20:55,087
Forget it! Many a man's been humbled
by his first day in Congress.

356
00:20:55,235 --> 00:20:56,884
So, how'd you like that office?

357
00:20:56,919 --> 00:20:58,893
Oh, it was great.
Yes. Thank you, sir.

358
00:20:58,893 --> 00:21:01,115
Not bad for
a freshman dorm room, huh?

359
00:21:01,499 --> 00:21:03,100
So, here's the skinny.

360
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:05,155
I'm bringing you
into my land use bill

361
00:21:05,155 --> 00:21:08,421
because you strike me as the type of guy
who knows how to hit the ground running.

362
00:21:08,456 --> 00:21:12,018
Yes, sir. I read the bill, and it's great.
I just had a few questions.

363
00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:14,302
Hey, I wrote the thing
and I have a few questions.

364
00:21:14,337 --> 00:21:17,529
We'll get to the questions later.
So, you with us?

365
00:21:17,529 --> 00:21:19,245
- Yes, sir. I'm in.
- Wonderful!

366
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,123
I'll need you to put that
into a letter of intent,

367
00:21:21,123 --> 00:21:23,578
as soon as you're feeling up to it,
of course. You get yourself better.

368
00:21:23,578 --> 00:21:25,186
Enjoy that office.

369
00:21:25,186 --> 00:21:26,561
Thank you, sir.

370
00:21:26,596 --> 00:21:30,964
He's exhausted from reading that bill.
I got woozy from just carrying it.

371
00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:32,607
Evan, sit down.

372
00:21:32,642 --> 00:21:33,721
Evan, what happened to you?

373
00:21:33,721 --> 00:21:36,151
You can't faint during the Pledge
of Allegiance. It's un-American.

374
00:21:36,186 --> 00:21:37,105
Oh, good. The doctor's here.

375
00:21:37,105 --> 00:21:38,205
Say "ah".

376
00:21:40,021 --> 00:21:44,193
Just go home, get some rest
and start on that ark. You hear me?

377
00:21:50,279 --> 00:21:51,426
Evan?

378
00:21:52,147 --> 00:21:55,127
Okay. God warned Noah
that a great flood was coming.

379
00:21:55,127 --> 00:21:58,637
Noah build the ark
for his wife and 3 sons...

380
00:22:03,609 --> 00:22:07,452
The ark was 300 qubics long and
50 qubics high.

381
00:22:07,723 --> 00:22:09,199
That's... insane.

382
00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:12,495
- What's insane?
- Hm?

383
00:22:12,530 --> 00:22:13,410
Congressman Long's bill?

384
00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:15,988
Yea... The bill. That's what
I was looking at... Oh, man,

385
00:22:15,988 --> 00:22:19,204
there's a lot of, uh...
a lot of research to do on it

386
00:22:20,455 --> 00:22:23,212
You know, baby, you have
every right to be freaked out.

387
00:22:23,994 --> 00:22:25,885
I'm not freaked out,
why would I be freaked out?

388
00:22:25,885 --> 00:22:30,239
I'm freaking out, this house alone is
as huge as Jasmine and you got a new job and...

389
00:22:30,496 --> 00:22:35,261
new land act bill you're working on,
we're in a new town... I mean, that's alot of new.

390
00:22:35,526 --> 00:22:36,790
So you thinking
I'm just stressed?

391
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:41,161
Evan, honey, I've known you 20 years.
I know your stressed.

392
00:22:46,316 --> 00:22:48,716
- Well, that's the sugar kicking in.
- Yes, it is.

393
00:22:49,216 --> 00:22:51,843
Thank you honey
- Enjoy your ice cream.

394
00:22:51,843 --> 00:22:52,832
I will, thanks.

395
00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:56,688
She's right. This is crazy.

396
00:22:56,894 --> 00:22:58,953
I'm just stressed
and you are gone.

397
00:23:03,691 --> 00:23:05,917
Gooood morning, troops!

398
00:23:05,917 --> 00:23:08,789
- Good morning.
- Good morning. How are you?

399
00:23:10,525 --> 00:23:11,878
Somebody is in a good mood.

400
00:23:11,878 --> 00:23:16,006
I am. I thought about what you said and
you are right, I need to get my head on straight.

401
00:23:16,006 --> 00:23:19,318
Guess what? This weekend
we're going on a hiking trip.

402
00:23:19,721 --> 00:23:23,319
Yeeaa. Right here. High five me.
Righteous. Righteous.

403
00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,150
We're gonna have
a righteous hiking trip.

404
00:23:25,222 --> 00:23:27,970
Hey, dad, look! Two doves.
That's supposed to be good luck.

405
00:23:27,970 --> 00:23:30,561
Hmm... Well,
today must be my lucky day.

406
00:23:30,596 --> 00:23:32,925
Bye, guys.
- Bye-bye

407
00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:39,498
Good morning, kitties.
Keep moving... find your house.

408
00:23:54,458 --> 00:23:57,374
Hey! When you're
on my lawn, keep it in your pot!

409
00:24:02,843 --> 00:24:07,318
Ohh... ohh... hey!
Thank's for sharing.

410
00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,475
Oh, you're right on time.

411
00:25:25,505 --> 00:25:29,066
Long just called. He's on his way with the
powers-to-be. Who are they, Gene? Talk.

412
00:25:29,066 --> 00:25:30,742
Congressman Jim Dodd,
head of Ways and Means.

413
00:25:30,742 --> 00:25:33,042
But don't worry, sir,
he's definitely not "way mean".

414
00:25:33,142 --> 00:25:35,233
That's speculation.
I don't know him personally...

415
00:25:35,233 --> 00:25:36,042
That's too much, Gene.
Who else?

416
00:25:36,142 --> 00:25:38,043
Congressman Richard Stamp,
head of Commerce,

417
00:25:38,143 --> 00:25:39,643
and Bob Hughes
is Transportation.

418
00:25:39,643 --> 00:25:40,943
I have a draft
of your support letter.

419
00:25:41,043 --> 00:25:42,943
- Sounds like a plan.
- Are you all right?

420
00:25:43,117 --> 00:25:43,777
I'm good.

421
00:25:43,777 --> 00:25:45,921
You sure you're good?
Okay.

422
00:25:47,944 --> 00:25:49,336
- Good morning, chief.
- Good morning, Rita.

423
00:25:49,336 --> 00:25:50,726
- You okay?
- I'm fine.

424
00:25:50,761 --> 00:25:52,518
- You don't look so good.
- That's what I said.

425
00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:54,413
You're all jumpy.
Are you on that Fen-Phen?

426
00:25:54,413 --> 00:25:56,346
Guys, I'm fine.
I'll be inside.

427
00:26:08,636 --> 00:26:11,236
Oh. No, no, no, no. No.

428
00:26:11,935 --> 00:26:16,449
No. Okay. No, no.
No. No, no. No.

429
00:26:17,749 --> 00:26:20,642
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my gosh!

430
00:26:21,262 --> 00:26:26,017
Guys! No, no! Get out!
Get out! Oh, my hair!

431
00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:28,451
Gentlemen, welcome.
What an honor to have you here.

432
00:26:28,451 --> 00:26:30,851
I'm Marty Stringer.
I'm Congressman Baxter's chief of staff.

433
00:26:30,951 --> 00:26:33,051
This is Rita Daniels,
his executive assistant.

434
00:26:33,527 --> 00:26:35,052
<i>Are you ready, sir?</i>

435
00:26:35,284 --> 00:26:39,560
Just a minute. No, no, no, no.
Dirty, dirty, dirty, diry, dirty! Big one!

436
00:26:39,719 --> 00:26:42,753
Baxter's only a freshman, sir, but I think
you'll find he is locked and loaded.

437
00:26:42,853 --> 00:26:45,853
Good. Maybe this young stud can help me
get these old mares on board.

438
00:26:45,953 --> 00:26:47,054
Oh, you will be impressed.

439
00:26:51,391 --> 00:26:54,043
Gentlemen.
Good to see you.

440
00:26:55,820 --> 00:26:59,838
Do you want to explain yourself,
Congressman? What is going on?

441
00:27:00,004 --> 00:27:02,083
Oh. These...

442
00:27:03,654 --> 00:27:05,239
are birds.

443
00:27:05,384 --> 00:27:08,169
What are they doing here?
How did they get in here?

444
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:10,920
Well, that is
an excellent question.

445
00:27:10,944 --> 00:27:14,245
And... my response
to said question is...

446
00:27:14,348 --> 00:27:16,131
they are trained...

447
00:27:16,991 --> 00:27:19,615
aviaries, sir.

448
00:27:20,159 --> 00:27:23,899
Let me make you... see
what I'm talking about.

449
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:30,672
I can make any sort of movement,
and they will not get off!

450
00:27:30,672 --> 00:27:32,866
Do you have a point,
Congressman?

451
00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:34,461
Hey, guys,
what's the point?

452
00:27:36,961 --> 00:27:37,968
What's my point.

453
00:27:39,562 --> 00:27:40,882
I'll tell you.

454
00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:43,163
The point... is...

455
00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:47,769
that man...

456
00:27:48,628 --> 00:27:52,052
needs to dominate... creatures

457
00:27:52,949 --> 00:27:55,989
and, ultimately, man must...

458
00:27:56,763 --> 00:28:00,568
dictate what happens
in this country.

459
00:28:04,066 --> 00:28:05,823
God bless America.

460
00:28:08,580 --> 00:28:09,959
I couldn't agree more.

461
00:28:09,959 --> 00:28:11,681
You have got
to be kidding me.

462
00:28:11,716 --> 00:28:12,909
No, of course not.

463
00:28:12,944 --> 00:28:16,702
We lost a huge project last year
because of the red-headed woodpecker.

464
00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:18,368
Those environmentalists
got so up in arms

465
00:28:18,468 --> 00:28:21,368
over the potential disappearance
of one stupid bird...

466
00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:23,187
Yeah, birds are stupid
sometimes.

467
00:28:23,187 --> 00:28:25,832
...we lost over 25 million dollars
in business.

468
00:28:25,832 --> 00:28:28,770
I see where you're going with this,
Congressman. Good work!

469
00:28:28,870 --> 00:28:32,798
Your little display has obviously
hit a chord. Gentlemen.

470
00:28:36,271 --> 00:28:41,672
From now on, let's keep the surprises
to a maximum of, say... none. Understood?

471
00:28:41,772 --> 00:28:43,849
Yes, sir.
Absolutely, sir.

472
00:28:53,574 --> 00:28:56,983
Evan, that was brilliant.
Risky, but brilliant.

473
00:28:59,525 --> 00:29:00,475
What the he...?

474
00:29:00,575 --> 00:29:05,575
I'll tell you one thing, these birds had
a nice big meal before they flew in here.

475
00:29:05,675 --> 00:29:07,076
You want me
to get my BB gun?

476
00:29:07,176 --> 00:29:09,376
You know what I want you to do?
I want you to open the door.

477
00:29:09,376 --> 00:29:10,476
Open the door?

478
00:29:10,476 --> 00:29:11,676
Just open the door!

479
00:29:11,676 --> 00:29:13,977
Close the door after I leave!
Just do it!

480
00:29:14,077 --> 00:29:15,077
Okay.

481
00:29:15,177 --> 00:29:18,077
One, two, three!

482
00:29:24,071 --> 00:29:27,889
Man, if I get the bird flu,
he is paying for my medical bills!

483
00:29:38,006 --> 00:29:40,079
Sheeeeep!

484
00:29:48,638 --> 00:29:50,672
Oh... no.

485
00:29:56,383 --> 00:29:58,636
Oh, gosh.

486
00:30:00,603 --> 00:30:02,284
Go, go, go, go, go!
Get out!

487
00:30:28,188 --> 00:30:29,589
Okay. No.

488
00:30:31,089 --> 00:30:34,389
No. No.

489
00:30:36,190 --> 00:30:38,990
I'm not doing this.
It's insane!

490
00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:41,191
No!

491
00:30:42,091 --> 00:30:43,891
Enough already!

492
00:30:44,015 --> 00:30:46,676
See, if you had an ark,
you'd have a place to put them all.

493
00:30:46,711 --> 00:30:48,292
Why are you doing this?
Why me?

494
00:30:50,492 --> 00:30:53,893
It's not time yet.
Go on. Go on.

495
00:30:54,493 --> 00:30:55,793
Yeah, go on.

496
00:30:55,893 --> 00:30:59,093
So how about it?
Feel like living on the edge?

497
00:31:08,895 --> 00:31:12,495
Beautiful, isn't it?
I remember creating this valley.

498
00:31:13,396 --> 00:31:15,896
Notice how the mountains
line up east to west.

499
00:31:15,996 --> 00:31:18,396
That's so there'd be
lots of sunshine.

500
00:31:18,396 --> 00:31:19,897
Where are we?

501
00:31:21,397 --> 00:31:23,097
Don't recognize it, eh?

502
00:31:23,297 --> 00:31:24,297
No.

503
00:31:24,697 --> 00:31:28,598
This is where you live, son.
This is Prestige Crest.

504
00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:32,399
I wanted you to see
the original design.

505
00:31:47,016 --> 00:31:50,601
So, you're... really Him,
aren't you?

506
00:31:50,702 --> 00:31:54,102
You want more proof? I haven't done
the pillar of salt thing in a while.

507
00:31:54,202 --> 00:31:57,803
That's all right. I believe you. I just...
I don't understand why you chose me.

508
00:31:57,903 --> 00:31:59,703
You want
to change the world, son.

509
00:32:00,903 --> 00:32:02,303
So do I.

510
00:32:05,704 --> 00:32:09,304
What? Why an ark?
I mean, that's like flood territory.

511
00:32:09,404 --> 00:32:13,705
You wouldn't do that again.
You wouldn't do that. Would you do that?

512
00:32:13,805 --> 00:32:16,506
Let's just say that
whatever I do,

513
00:32:17,306 --> 00:32:19,206
I do because I love you.

514
00:32:19,906 --> 00:32:24,407
Well, then you have to understand
that this whole building-an-ark thing

515
00:32:24,507 --> 00:32:25,907
is really not part
of my plans here.

516
00:32:26,007 --> 00:32:28,908
I need to settle into my house.
I need to make a good impression at work.

517
00:32:30,508 --> 00:32:31,708
What?

518
00:32:32,108 --> 00:32:33,308
Your plans. That's just...

519
00:32:36,409 --> 00:32:37,809
What are you talking...

520
00:32:37,909 --> 00:32:40,409
We're talking about an ark, right?
I mean, an ark?

521
00:32:40,409 --> 00:32:43,910
An ark is huge! I don't
even know where I would begin!

522
00:32:44,310 --> 00:32:45,810
Well, I hear that a lot.

523
00:32:45,910 --> 00:32:49,511
People want to change the world,
don't know how to begin.

524
00:32:53,011 --> 00:32:54,812
You wanna know
how to change the world, son?

525
00:32:56,112 --> 00:32:58,712
One act of random kindness
at a time.

526
00:33:07,514 --> 00:33:08,814
Build the ark.

527
00:33:08,914 --> 00:33:11,914
I'll tell you what.
You build it, I'll fill it.

528
00:33:12,514 --> 00:33:17,415
And if anybody asks,
tell them... a flood's coming.

529
00:33:19,115 --> 00:33:22,016
Oh, and, uh,
you might need this.

530
00:33:25,817 --> 00:33:29,817
Well, okay. Okay, so what do I do?
I grab the wood and...

531
00:33:29,917 --> 00:33:31,417
Well, okay.

532
00:33:31,517 --> 00:33:34,818
You know,
that's... just... cruel.

533
00:33:36,418 --> 00:33:37,918
Do you see him?

534
00:33:39,119 --> 00:33:40,519
I don't see him.

535
00:33:41,319 --> 00:33:45,020
"Building an Ark
the Old-Fashioned Way."

536
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,620
"God is the creator of
the Heavens and the Earth.

537
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:55,621
"He lives in all things and has over
six billion seven hundred million children."

538
00:34:17,625 --> 00:34:20,325
Honey? You okay?
You need something?

539
00:34:22,325 --> 00:34:25,626
No, nothing.
Just... dropped something.

540
00:35:01,832 --> 00:35:03,332
Okay. Okay.

541
00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:11,733
Yeah.

542
00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:14,834
There we go. Okay.

543
00:35:21,835 --> 00:35:25,335
Come on. I mean, a beard?
A beard's so dirty.

544
00:35:27,236 --> 00:35:28,236
Gross!

545
00:35:28,336 --> 00:35:30,536
Packing, so it would really help me
out if you would...

546
00:35:30,536 --> 00:35:31,636
Good morning.

547
00:35:34,137 --> 00:35:35,237
Wow.

548
00:35:35,637 --> 00:35:37,837
What's with the scruffle,
mountain man?

549
00:35:37,937 --> 00:35:43,238
Oh, well, you know, I figured... it was
a weekend, and... I thought...

550
00:35:43,338 --> 00:35:44,438
What?

551
00:35:46,939 --> 00:35:50,239
Honey, did I miss something?
How long have you been growing that?

552
00:35:51,439 --> 00:35:52,540
I'll get the door!

553
00:35:53,740 --> 00:35:55,240
Congratulations!

554
00:35:55,340 --> 00:35:56,640
What are you talking about?

555
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,541
The lots. You bought
the lots next door!

556
00:35:59,641 --> 00:36:01,541
Hello!

557
00:36:02,541 --> 00:36:03,541
Oh...

558
00:36:07,442 --> 00:36:12,043
And pulling the down payment out of
your home equity? Very gutsy move.

559
00:36:12,143 --> 00:36:14,343
I didn't do that,
did I?

560
00:36:14,543 --> 00:36:16,944
You sure did. So what's your plan?
What are you gonna do?

561
00:36:16,944 --> 00:36:19,144
Turn them for a quick profit?
Build them out on spec?

562
00:36:21,044 --> 00:36:24,745
Who wants champagne?
Hip, hip hooray!

563
00:36:27,945 --> 00:36:29,345
You bought eight lots?

564
00:36:29,445 --> 00:36:31,846
Yup. I was, uh,
going to surprise you.

565
00:36:33,146 --> 00:36:36,547
"Surprise, surprise, surprise."
Gomer Pyle.

566
00:36:38,547 --> 00:36:41,147
What are you doing?
We can't afford that.

567
00:36:41,147 --> 00:36:43,548
Hey, mom. John Lennon,
good to see you again.

568
00:36:43,648 --> 00:36:45,248
Good to see you.

569
00:36:46,548 --> 00:36:50,149
And eight lots? What are you gonna
do with eight lots?

570
00:36:50,949 --> 00:36:53,849
I don't know.
Maybe I'll build a boat.

571
00:36:53,949 --> 00:36:55,750
Did you say
"build a boat"?

572
00:36:55,850 --> 00:36:57,650
It might be something fun
for the family.

573
00:36:57,750 --> 00:37:00,950
We could, uh, take the boat,
go sailing on the lake.

574
00:37:01,951 --> 00:37:03,951
It'd be great in case
it floods or something.

575
00:37:04,229 --> 00:37:06,051
What is going on with you?

576
00:37:06,551 --> 00:37:10,252
You bought all those lots
and you're talking about building a boat.

577
00:37:10,352 --> 00:37:12,252
- Yeah.
- And you grow this crazy beard!

578
00:37:12,252 --> 00:37:13,853
Is this, like, a midlife crisis?

579
00:37:13,953 --> 00:37:15,253
It's not that bad!

580
00:37:15,353 --> 00:37:16,353
- It's not?
- No.

581
00:37:16,453 --> 00:37:18,253
Why do you think
they call it a crisis?

582
00:37:19,653 --> 00:37:21,554
Hey, keep it down,
you guys! Okay?

583
00:37:23,354 --> 00:37:24,754
Oh, my God.

584
00:37:24,854 --> 00:37:26,154
Honey?

585
00:37:26,254 --> 00:37:27,555
Oh, my God.

586
00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:29,955
Honey?

587
00:37:32,055 --> 00:37:34,056
I know this sounds crazy.

588
00:37:35,156 --> 00:37:37,556
I really think
I need to do this.

589
00:37:41,157 --> 00:37:42,357
Okay.

590
00:37:43,157 --> 00:37:44,757
Build your boat.

591
00:37:45,858 --> 00:37:48,258
Just don't take
too long, okay?

592
00:37:48,358 --> 00:37:53,559
Because we didn't leave our lives in Buffalo
so you could... sail the S.S. Depression.

593
00:38:13,062 --> 00:38:14,262
Here we go.

594
00:38:14,462 --> 00:38:17,963
Gentlemen, I'm sure you're all wondering
why I've assembled you here today.

595
00:38:18,063 --> 00:38:20,863
An Argentine lake duck has
a penis as long as its body.

596
00:38:20,863 --> 00:38:22,863
Wow, that's huge.
He must be proud.

597
00:38:22,963 --> 00:38:27,164
So, I have come up with a little
construction project for us this weekend.

598
00:38:27,545 --> 00:38:28,364
The whole weekend?

599
00:38:28,464 --> 00:38:29,865
The whole weekend. Yes!

600
00:38:30,065 --> 00:38:31,765
Maybe a couple weekends
after that.

601
00:38:31,865 --> 00:38:34,065
I can do this. Help!

602
00:38:35,365 --> 00:38:38,266
How do I stand up with
a piece of wood? Here we go.

603
00:38:39,766 --> 00:38:41,466
Oh, man.
Okay, that's good.

604
00:38:43,067 --> 00:38:46,767
Mooooother!
Father! Sister! Brother! Wow!

605
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:48,467
Keep it straight.

606
00:38:51,868 --> 00:38:53,568
Hey, dad... He's back!

607
00:38:53,868 --> 00:38:55,369
Ryan, no, don't do...

608
00:38:55,469 --> 00:38:56,469
Ow!

609
00:38:57,369 --> 00:39:00,369
Leverage it up!
Leverage. Okay.

610
00:39:00,369 --> 00:39:01,970
Just put some leverage.
You gotta put some body weight.

611
00:39:02,070 --> 00:39:04,070
Ready? One, two, three.
Come on.

612
00:39:08,171 --> 00:39:09,771
Oh, I'm an idiot.

613
00:39:09,771 --> 00:39:13,271
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Congressman.
Why do you have raw beef hands?"

614
00:39:13,271 --> 00:39:15,372
"Well, I'm building an ark."

615
00:39:17,872 --> 00:39:21,173
I got a boo-boo! I got a boo-boo!
I got a boo-boo!

616
00:39:26,974 --> 00:39:31,874
You ever hear of Home Depot?
Here we go! Here we go! Oh, yeah!

617
00:39:42,076 --> 00:39:46,077
All right. So our little Marlboro Man
moment didn't work out so well.

618
00:39:46,177 --> 00:39:49,077
It's a disaster. I don't know
how to build something like this.

619
00:39:49,077 --> 00:39:50,777
That's easy. Just don't.

620
00:39:55,178 --> 00:39:56,178
Wow.

621
00:39:57,848 --> 00:39:58,915
Hello.

622
00:39:59,179 --> 00:40:02,279
Yes, Marty. Your fearless leader
is right here.

623
00:40:03,479 --> 00:40:04,579
Hey, Marty, what's up?

624
00:40:14,081 --> 00:40:16,681
Yes, I'll tell him.
Thank you.

625
00:40:19,882 --> 00:40:22,282
I might need security.
Thank you.

626
00:40:24,883 --> 00:40:26,183
Can I help you?

627
00:40:26,483 --> 00:40:27,583
Rita, it's me.

628
00:40:27,983 --> 00:40:31,584
Why do you sound like Evan Baxter,
but look like a Bee Gee?

629
00:40:31,584 --> 00:40:33,084
Okay. All right.

630
00:40:33,584 --> 00:40:36,484
Okay, that's great.
It's longer.

631
00:40:36,484 --> 00:40:39,385
Oh, my God. It is you.

632
00:40:39,985 --> 00:40:42,085
Evan, what happened?

633
00:40:42,185 --> 00:40:43,286
Did you fall
in a mine shaft?

634
00:40:43,386 --> 00:40:44,386
No.

635
00:40:44,486 --> 00:40:45,486
Did you just
come out of a coma?

636
00:40:45,586 --> 00:40:46,586
No.

637
00:40:46,686 --> 00:40:48,886
Were you attacked
by a werewolf?

638
00:40:48,886 --> 00:40:50,187
No, I wasn't.

639
00:40:50,287 --> 00:40:53,187
Well, if you were going for
that rugged look, you overshot it.

640
00:40:53,187 --> 00:40:54,787
You look like
a bum in a suit.

641
00:40:54,887 --> 00:40:56,988
You need Super cuts
and a shave.

642
00:40:58,488 --> 00:41:00,588
Right! Yeah.
But I can't. It doesn't work.

643
00:41:00,688 --> 00:41:02,289
What do you mean,
it doesn't work?

644
00:41:02,389 --> 00:41:03,689
It doesn't work!

645
00:41:03,789 --> 00:41:05,489
What? Are you shooting up Rogaine?

646
00:41:05,489 --> 00:41:08,990
Rita, if Evan shows up... I'm sorry, sir.
I'll be with you in just one mo...

647
00:41:09,990 --> 00:41:11,790
Evan?
- Take it in. Take it in.

648
00:41:11,890 --> 00:41:13,590
Okay, yeah, to answer any questions
you may have,

649
00:41:13,690 --> 00:41:15,791
I am going through
adult puberty!

650
00:41:15,891 --> 00:41:18,291
This is all temporary.
Why did you bring me down here?

651
00:41:18,391 --> 00:41:19,491
What was so important?

652
00:41:19,591 --> 00:41:21,292
What is so important?

653
00:41:21,392 --> 00:41:24,092
I got a letter of intent here
about Congressman Long's bill.

654
00:41:24,092 --> 00:41:25,192
You remember that,
don't you?

655
00:41:25,292 --> 00:41:28,393
Well, you haven't been here and now
he wants you to sign this in person, Evan!

656
00:41:28,393 --> 00:41:30,693
No, I can't do that. Nope, nope, nope.
Not gonna happen.

657
00:41:30,793 --> 00:41:33,594
No. You can't do that.
Not looking like that. You have to go shave!

658
00:41:33,694 --> 00:41:35,994
I can't shave, Marty.
When I shave, it grows back out.

659
00:41:36,094 --> 00:41:38,994
That happens when you shave!
But then you shave again!

660
00:41:39,094 --> 00:41:40,595
You have no idea.

661
00:41:40,595 --> 00:41:43,595
Evan, what is going on?

662
00:41:43,695 --> 00:41:44,895
I'm...

663
00:41:49,396 --> 00:41:51,196
building something.

664
00:41:52,697 --> 00:41:54,397
You're building something?

665
00:41:54,497 --> 00:41:56,197
Well, I hope
it's a barber shop.

666
00:41:56,297 --> 00:41:59,198
Guys, I can't let Long see me
this way, okay?

667
00:41:59,198 --> 00:42:02,398
You're gonna have to tell him I'm sick.
Just cover for me. Just help me out!

668
00:42:05,599 --> 00:42:08,599
Come on, Evan, be reasonable.
You gotta get rid of that beard.

669
00:42:08,699 --> 00:42:10,599
I need your face back.
I need you back.

670
00:42:10,599 --> 00:42:12,300
Can you at least tell me
what you're building?

671
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,500
- I'm building a boat.
- You're building a boat?

672
00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:17,200
Look, you gotta cover for me.
I don't want anybody to see...

673
00:42:17,300 --> 00:42:19,501
Congressman!
There you are!

674
00:42:19,601 --> 00:42:21,601
Congressman Long, I, I, I, I...

675
00:42:21,601 --> 00:42:24,602
Stop stammering, son.
We all play hooky from time to time.

676
00:42:24,702 --> 00:42:28,502
I'm not gonna turn you in to the principal.
Mostly because I am the principal.

677
00:42:29,902 --> 00:42:31,003
Very good.

678
00:42:31,003 --> 00:42:33,503
What's with the veil?
Did you get your new set of braces?

679
00:42:33,503 --> 00:42:37,004
No.  No, no. I...
That's, uh, hilarious, though.

680
00:42:37,104 --> 00:42:39,904
Would you drop that thing, son?
I can't understand a word you're saying.

681
00:42:49,205 --> 00:42:51,106
It's a wife thing, sir.

682
00:42:51,206 --> 00:42:52,906
Just trying
to spice up the love life.

683
00:42:53,906 --> 00:42:56,307
She's a big
Loggins and Messina fan.

684
00:42:56,307 --> 00:42:58,707
Keeping it fresh.
Keeping it real.

685
00:42:58,707 --> 00:43:01,407
Would you excuse us
for a moment?

686
00:43:01,507 --> 00:43:03,908
The Congressman and I are going to
have a little chat.

687
00:43:07,908 --> 00:43:09,009
Come on.

688
00:43:09,109 --> 00:43:11,309
Nice, isn't it?
Politics is dog-eat-dog,

689
00:43:11,409 --> 00:43:14,009
but if you survive, they give you
a bigger den. Have a seat.

690
00:43:14,109 --> 00:43:18,110
So, tell me, Congressman,
are you freaking out on me or what?

691
00:43:18,210 --> 00:43:19,210
No, sir.

692
00:43:19,210 --> 00:43:22,511
Oh, come on, son. I hand you
your first cosponsor ship of a bill,

693
00:43:22,611 --> 00:43:24,911
and when you finally show up
you look like the fifth Beatle.

694
00:43:25,011 --> 00:43:27,311
Now, you expect me to believe
everything is hunky dory?

695
00:43:27,411 --> 00:43:30,212
Well, sir, actually, things have been
a little more dory.

696
00:43:30,312 --> 00:43:34,413
Of course they are. I get it.
You know anything about animals, son?

697
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:38,613
The Argentine lake duck has a penis
as long as its body.

698
00:43:40,714 --> 00:43:44,614
Although you probably already know that.
Or have heard it. Not experienced it.

699
00:43:44,614 --> 00:43:46,815
You ever heard
of the Arctic white wolf?

700
00:43:46,815 --> 00:43:47,915
No, sir.

701
00:43:47,915 --> 00:43:49,015
Top of the food chain.

702
00:43:49,115 --> 00:43:51,815
It's fast, it's smart, can fend for itself,
but it chooses not to.

703
00:43:51,915 --> 00:43:53,416
It chooses
to run with a pack.

704
00:43:53,516 --> 00:43:54,616
And do you know why?

705
00:43:54,616 --> 00:43:55,616
No.

706
00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:58,216
The Arctic white wolf,
Congressman, realizes

707
00:43:58,316 --> 00:44:00,017
that it is stronger
as part of a group.

708
00:44:00,117 --> 00:44:03,117
Do you know what happens when one of
these wolves decides to fend for itself?

709
00:44:03,117 --> 00:44:05,918
The pack kills the loner
for the greater good of the community.

710
00:44:06,018 --> 00:44:07,718
Ouch, that hurts.

711
00:44:07,718 --> 00:44:11,018
Are you familiar with Jim Jenkins,
the junior congressman from Tennessee?

712
00:44:11,118 --> 00:44:14,519
When I met Congressman Jenkins,
he was fresh off the turnip truck,

713
00:44:14,619 --> 00:44:16,719
but now he's sitting
on his own committee.

714
00:44:16,819 --> 00:44:19,920
Congressman Jenkins, Congressman
Whitehall, Congressman Freeman,

715
00:44:20,020 --> 00:44:23,720
they all have committee chairs
because they all run with the pack.

716
00:44:23,820 --> 00:44:25,921
Now, you have
to come to a decision.

717
00:44:26,021 --> 00:44:28,221
Are you gonna run with the pack
or are you gonna lone wolf it?

718
00:44:28,321 --> 00:44:30,421
I... am a pack man, sir.

719
00:44:30,521 --> 00:44:34,622
Good. I'm introducing the CINPLAN bill
in 2 weeks. C-SPAN is covering it live.

720
00:44:34,722 --> 00:44:36,822
I want your full support
and nothing else.

721
00:44:36,922 --> 00:44:38,023
Yes, sir.

722
00:44:39,023 --> 00:44:41,223
Those fish are on you
like bait on a hook.

723
00:44:43,223 --> 00:44:44,824
Birds follow you.

724
00:44:45,724 --> 00:44:47,424
Fish follow you.

725
00:44:51,125 --> 00:44:54,325
Let's see if we can get
some congressmen to follow you.

726
00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:56,426
Let's get this bill passed,
shall we, Congressman?

727
00:44:56,526 --> 00:44:57,626
Yes, sir.

728
00:44:59,826 --> 00:45:01,426
Hey, fleabag,
out of the way.

729
00:45:01,526 --> 00:45:03,527
Hey, dad, I think there are more
animals than yesterday.

730
00:45:03,527 --> 00:45:05,727
Well, let's not keep
our audience waiting, shall we?

731
00:45:08,827 --> 00:45:13,128
Up, up. Push it up. Push it.
We got it. We got it. Oh, yeah, yeah.

732
00:45:13,928 --> 00:45:16,629
Come on.
Just let it go, just let it go.

733
00:45:20,129 --> 00:45:22,530
Dad, we can do this,
but we're gonna need some help.

734
00:45:22,630 --> 00:45:25,830
I know. We just need something
to lift those beams.

735
00:45:28,131 --> 00:45:29,631
Like that?

736
00:45:29,731 --> 00:45:31,331
Holy moly!

737
00:45:32,531 --> 00:45:35,032
This is so totally awesome!

738
00:45:35,032 --> 00:45:36,632
This is perfect.

739
00:45:36,632 --> 00:45:38,132
Dad, there's a note.

740
00:45:44,433 --> 00:45:46,033
Let me see that.

741
00:45:48,634 --> 00:45:50,234
How does it work?

742
00:45:57,835 --> 00:45:59,736
Dad, this is really weird.

743
00:45:59,736 --> 00:46:02,036
Repeat after me.
"We are hamsters!"

744
00:46:02,136 --> 00:46:03,736
We are hamsters!

745
00:46:03,836 --> 00:46:05,436
Leg power!

746
00:46:05,536 --> 00:46:07,037
Leg power!

747
00:46:07,837 --> 00:46:08,837
And it's in!

748
00:46:09,937 --> 00:46:11,037
That's it.

749
00:46:13,238 --> 00:46:16,238
Hey, who has opposable thumbs?
Anybody?

750
00:46:20,939 --> 00:46:24,039
You wanna try this one?
Make sure it's straight.

751
00:46:24,139 --> 00:46:25,740
- This is awesome!
- This is so cool.

752
00:46:25,740 --> 00:46:27,740
- Here we go.
- Oh, my God!

753
00:46:28,140 --> 00:46:31,441
Yeah. Gotta do the dance.
Come on, let's do the dance.

754
00:46:32,741 --> 00:46:34,641
We're doing the dance.
- Dylan, come on. Do the dance.

755
00:46:34,641 --> 00:46:36,441
- Come on, do the dance.
- I'm not doing the dance.

756
00:46:39,042 --> 00:46:40,042
Ow!

757
00:46:41,542 --> 00:46:42,642
Don't scratch!

758
00:46:42,742 --> 00:46:43,742
Stop it. Come here.

759
00:46:43,842 --> 00:46:47,343
Insult to injury! My!

760
00:46:47,443 --> 00:46:48,443
Good boy.

761
00:46:48,543 --> 00:46:49,543
Okay, guys. A little bit more.

762
00:46:49,643 --> 00:46:52,544
Here we go. I got it.
Keep it... That's it!

763
00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:54,844
Beautiful!

764
00:46:59,945 --> 00:47:01,045
You guys all right?

765
00:47:01,145 --> 00:47:02,345
Yup.

766
00:47:19,948 --> 00:47:20,948
"G."

767
00:47:35,251 --> 00:47:37,751
Mmm, mmm, mmm.

768
00:47:40,251 --> 00:47:43,252
Well, I hope
this isn't our last supper.

769
00:47:45,952 --> 00:47:48,153
<i>... so this dry,
hot weather will continue.</i>

770
00:47:48,153 --> 00:47:51,153
<i>Until September 22, midday.</i>

771
00:47:51,253 --> 00:47:54,354
<i>If the ark isn't finished
by then, you will be.</i>

772
00:47:54,754 --> 00:47:58,054
Is that when it's going to happen?
September 22, midday?

773
00:47:58,154 --> 00:48:00,455
<i>High temperatures tomorrow
back into the 90s everywhere,</i>

774
00:48:00,555 --> 00:48:01,755
<i>right on through Tuesday</i>

775
00:48:01,755 --> 00:48:05,255
<i>and the next seven days,
no showers, no storms.</i>

776
00:48:05,355 --> 00:48:09,556
That would be a good day to have chicken.
How about mom's chicken? Huh?

777
00:48:09,656 --> 00:48:12,056
Hon, could we have some more chicken
September 22, midday?

778
00:48:13,957 --> 00:48:17,357
Boys, will you excuse us, please?
Your father and I need to have a little talk.

779
00:48:17,457 --> 00:48:18,957
Busted.

780
00:48:19,058 --> 00:48:20,258
Dad, you're busted.

781
00:48:20,258 --> 00:48:21,458
Yeah, I know.

782
00:48:23,358 --> 00:48:24,758
What are you doing?

783
00:48:24,858 --> 00:48:26,059
Do we have anything
unleavened?

784
00:48:26,159 --> 00:48:29,659
Yeah, we do, it's in the back,
next to the frankincense and myrrh.

785
00:48:29,759 --> 00:48:32,960
We have a fancy name for it
in this century, it's called pita.

786
00:48:33,460 --> 00:48:34,860
Got it.

787
00:48:34,860 --> 00:48:36,860
Evan, what is
happening to you?

788
00:48:37,860 --> 00:48:41,261
Don't! No!
Just put it down! Look at you.

789
00:48:41,261 --> 00:48:46,662
The hair. Are you on something?
Is it a mega-growth hormone? What?

790
00:48:48,262 --> 00:48:49,962
Evan, talk to me.

791
00:48:58,364 --> 00:49:00,164
I'm building an ark.

792
00:49:01,964 --> 00:49:03,765
What does that mean?

793
00:49:05,165 --> 00:49:09,165
God appeared to me
and told me to build an ark.

794
00:49:09,265 --> 00:49:13,166
He said there was going to be a flood
and that I should be prepared.

795
00:49:13,266 --> 00:49:15,766
Whenever I shave,
my beard grows right back out.

796
00:49:15,766 --> 00:49:20,867
My hair grows longer every day.
This robe... God sent me the robe.

797
00:49:20,867 --> 00:49:22,267
He thought
it would be funny.

798
00:49:23,268 --> 00:49:28,068
I actually think it's really comfortable.
That's why I'm wearing it.

799
00:49:29,769 --> 00:49:32,269
The beard, the robe.

800
00:49:33,369 --> 00:49:34,869
You're Noah?

801
00:49:36,370 --> 00:49:37,970
Yeah, kind of.

802
00:49:38,070 --> 00:49:39,070
Mom!

803
00:49:39,170 --> 00:49:40,470
Not now, Noah!

804
00:49:42,171 --> 00:49:43,271
Dylan.

805
00:49:43,271 --> 00:49:44,371
Okay.

806
00:49:47,872 --> 00:49:51,372
We left everything behind
to come here.

807
00:49:51,472 --> 00:49:55,173
Maybe that's put too much pressure
on you. I don't know.

808
00:49:55,273 --> 00:49:59,773
But this has got to stop.
Please. You're scaring me.

809
00:49:59,873 --> 00:50:04,474
The boys need their father back,
and I need my husband back.

810
00:50:21,777 --> 00:50:24,677
Yes. Successful. Powerful.
Handsome. Happy.

811
00:50:24,777 --> 00:50:27,578
Successful. Powerful.
Handsome. Happy.

812
00:50:37,179 --> 00:50:38,680
Good morning!

813
00:50:43,580 --> 00:50:44,580
Cold today, huh?

814
00:50:44,981 --> 00:50:45,981
Hmm?

815
00:50:56,582 --> 00:50:57,883
"Back to work"?

816
00:51:01,383 --> 00:51:07,084
Okay. All right. You want me
to wear the robe? I'll wear the robe.

817
00:51:08,084 --> 00:51:11,385
Two can play this game.

818
00:51:19,186 --> 00:51:20,386
Ha, ha, ha!

819
00:51:22,086 --> 00:51:24,087
Piece de resistance.

820
00:51:25,987 --> 00:51:28,087
The student
has become the teacher.

821
00:51:32,888 --> 00:51:34,388
This meeting
will come to order.

822
00:51:34,488 --> 00:51:35,689
Rita, any sign of him?

823
00:51:35,789 --> 00:51:38,089
Marty, I told you,
I will let you know as soon...

824
00:51:38,189 --> 00:51:41,489
Okay, you know what? You got me.
He's here. We're in the middle of a yoga class.

825
00:51:41,489 --> 00:51:43,390
Rita, this is no time for jokes.
I'm not kidding.

826
00:51:43,490 --> 00:51:45,790
If he's not in that meeting,
we're all out of a job.

827
00:51:45,890 --> 00:51:48,090
Wait a minute.
Let me finish my sun salutation.

828
00:51:53,491 --> 00:51:55,792
Marty! Sorry I'm late.
Come on, let's go.

829
00:51:56,792 --> 00:51:58,992
What is that?

830
00:51:59,092 --> 00:52:02,693
Making lemonade out of lemons.
Pick up your phone! Come on!

831
00:52:02,793 --> 00:52:06,093
At its heart,
this bill gives private citizens access

832
00:52:06,193 --> 00:52:08,194
to lands they technically
already own.

833
00:52:08,294 --> 00:52:09,894
Will the Chairman yield?

834
00:52:09,994 --> 00:52:10,994
Oh, look,
there he is.

835
00:52:11,094 --> 00:52:12,294
Yup, yup, I see him.

836
00:52:12,294 --> 00:52:16,295
Access is just a word you're using
to hide what's really going on here.

837
00:52:16,295 --> 00:52:18,895
This is about development,
short and simple.

838
00:52:18,995 --> 00:52:24,096
Evan, what are you doing?
You have a pony tail on your face!

839
00:52:24,196 --> 00:52:26,597
What you gonna do next?
Cornrow your eyebrows?

840
00:52:26,597 --> 00:52:29,297
Development means
the advancement of jobs,

841
00:52:29,397 --> 00:52:32,998
an increase in domestic commerce.
If you happen to like those things,

842
00:52:33,098 --> 00:52:37,398
I invite you to join myself and
my cosponsors, Congressman Dodd,

843
00:52:39,599 --> 00:52:41,599
Congressman Hughes...

844
00:52:42,899 --> 00:52:44,599
and Congressman Baxter.

845
00:53:05,903 --> 00:53:07,903
Did you just do
a wardrobe change?

846
00:53:08,003 --> 00:53:11,004
What do you think this is,
the Oscars? You are not Whoopi.

847
00:53:12,204 --> 00:53:14,604
Ladies and gentlemen!
Please!

848
00:53:15,804 --> 00:53:19,805
Please! Congressman Baxter has
a tendency to embrace the theatrical

849
00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:22,605
in his support of this bill.
Congressman, let me warn you,

850
00:53:22,605 --> 00:53:26,206
you are approximately 10 seconds away
from committee censure.

851
00:53:26,306 --> 00:53:29,507
Oh, no. Hey, would anyone mind
if I close the window?

852
00:53:59,011 --> 00:54:02,812
Ladies and gentlemen! Please!
These animals are trained!

853
00:54:03,312 --> 00:54:05,112
I've seen
this circus act before!

854
00:54:05,112 --> 00:54:08,113
Congressman, I'm sure St. Francis
would be... envious.

855
00:54:08,213 --> 00:54:11,813
We, however, are not.
You have five seconds.

856
00:54:11,813 --> 00:54:14,714
You march yourself and your
little animal troupe out of here now

857
00:54:14,714 --> 00:54:16,614
or you will be
forcibly removed.

858
00:54:16,714 --> 00:54:18,614
I'm afraid
I can't do that, sir.

859
00:54:18,714 --> 00:54:20,114
Congressman!

860
00:54:20,215 --> 00:54:22,415
These animals...
are not trained.

861
00:54:22,515 --> 00:54:23,815
Congressman!

862
00:54:24,715 --> 00:54:26,215
I think they want me
to save them!

863
00:54:26,215 --> 00:54:28,816
Save them...
from what, Congressman?

864
00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:32,316
Saving the animals, okay.
I can roll with that. That's a good idea.

865
00:54:40,118 --> 00:54:41,118
The flood.

866
00:54:41,518 --> 00:54:44,018
A flood? Rolling out.

867
00:54:44,518 --> 00:54:45,819
The flood.

868
00:54:45,919 --> 00:54:48,019
This has been the hottest,
driest summer on record

869
00:54:48,119 --> 00:54:49,819
and you say we're gonna
have a flood?

870
00:54:49,819 --> 00:54:51,119
When might we expect this?

871
00:54:51,219 --> 00:54:53,320
September 22, midday.

872
00:54:57,220 --> 00:54:58,721
That's what I was told.

873
00:54:58,821 --> 00:55:00,821
Might I ask who told you?

874
00:55:07,722 --> 00:55:11,523
Not in front of all those people.
Don't say it. Don't say it.

875
00:55:16,623 --> 00:55:17,924
God.

876
00:55:22,724 --> 00:55:25,525
God? You talk to God?

877
00:55:26,225 --> 00:55:27,425
Yes.

878
00:55:27,525 --> 00:55:28,725
And God is talking back?

879
00:55:30,326 --> 00:55:32,526
Yeah. We hung out a little.

880
00:55:32,626 --> 00:55:34,926
Well, time to update
the resume.

881
00:55:34,926 --> 00:55:37,327
Congressman, your name is being
removed from this bill.

882
00:55:37,427 --> 00:55:40,927
Obviously, the stresses of this office
have proven too much for you.

883
00:55:40,927 --> 00:55:42,327
Please have the congressman
removed.

884
00:55:42,427 --> 00:55:44,228
No. Please!
You don't understand!

885
00:55:44,328 --> 00:55:47,128
God commanded me
to build an ark!

886
00:55:47,228 --> 00:55:49,829
It's going to rain!
There's going to be a flood!

887
00:55:51,229 --> 00:55:52,729
Remove him now!

888
00:55:52,829 --> 00:55:55,230
We have to prepare ourselves!

889
00:55:55,330 --> 00:55:58,030
I need to finish the ark!

890
00:55:59,230 --> 00:56:00,830
Remove him now!

891
00:56:07,831 --> 00:56:09,732
Does this mean
we're moving back home?

892
00:56:10,732 --> 00:56:13,432
Home, Canada.
One or the other.

893
00:56:23,934 --> 00:56:28,835
Joan? I know you probably saw
what happened, but I can explain.

894
00:56:33,135 --> 00:56:35,736
Take the stuff to the car, guys.
I'll be there in a minute.

895
00:56:38,736 --> 00:56:39,837
Guys?

896
00:56:43,437 --> 00:56:48,538
I'm gonna take them to my mother's.
Evan, I... think you need help.

897
00:56:49,138 --> 00:56:53,939
Joan, please. I'm not doing this.
It's not me. It's Him.

898
00:56:53,939 --> 00:56:57,339
I went to that meeting in a suit,
and he took it off of me.

899
00:56:57,339 --> 00:57:01,140
Those animals... are following me
because of Him.

900
00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:04,840
God? Does God know
he's destroying our lives?

901
00:57:04,941 --> 00:57:07,441
Does... God know
he's gonna get you fired?

902
00:57:07,541 --> 00:57:09,341
Yeah! He's trying
to get me fired!

903
00:57:10,141 --> 00:57:13,242
He is trying
to get me fired!

904
00:57:13,342 --> 00:57:15,542
That way I'll have more time
to work on the ark!

905
00:57:15,542 --> 00:57:18,043
Because the rain
and the floods are coming.

906
00:57:18,143 --> 00:57:21,643
No, I heard you, Evan.
The whole world heard you.

907
00:57:21,643 --> 00:57:24,344
Joan, please,
you gotta believe me.

908
00:57:26,744 --> 00:57:31,545
There it is! It's happening!
It's happening! It's raining!

909
00:57:49,047 --> 00:57:50,248
Goodbye, Evan.

910
00:57:53,948 --> 00:57:55,048
Joan!

911
00:58:03,850 --> 00:58:08,351
I know! I know. Whatever you do,
you do because you love me!

912
00:58:16,152 --> 00:58:18,952
Do me a favor.
Love me less.

913
00:58:20,352 --> 00:58:21,453
Congressman!

914
00:58:21,453 --> 00:58:24,453
Are you concerned at all
about Congressman Baxter's tirade

915
00:58:24,553 --> 00:58:26,153
and the adverse effects
it may have on your bill?

916
00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:30,054
The day it rains and floods and
Congressman Baxter takes a ride on his ark,

917
00:58:30,154 --> 00:58:32,154
that'll be the day
I'll be concerned. Thank you.

918
00:58:37,255 --> 00:58:41,556
His name is Evan Baxter,
but now he goes by "New York's Noah",

919
00:58:41,656 --> 00:58:45,356
"Heaven's Evan",
"The Weirdo with a Beardo".

920
00:58:50,257 --> 00:58:53,958
Okay, guys. Watch it. Watch it.
Coming through. Watch your back.

921
00:58:55,558 --> 00:58:59,259
Marty, will you comment on Congressman
Baxter's change of appearance?

922
00:58:59,559 --> 00:59:03,459
Yes, his hair is long.
Yes, his beard is unshaven.

923
00:59:03,559 --> 00:59:05,760
Are you equally stunned
by this man's appearance?

924
00:59:12,161 --> 00:59:13,361
The way things
go around here,

925
00:59:13,361 --> 00:59:16,161
if he gets any crazier,
we may end up in the White House.

926
00:59:22,462 --> 00:59:25,163
Hey! No, no, no, no, no!
That's my cup!

927
00:59:26,763 --> 00:59:28,063
Whatever.

928
00:59:48,866 --> 00:59:52,367
He's filling the boat with
two of every kind of animal.

929
00:59:52,467 --> 00:59:55,867
Still to be collected,
two giraffes, two elephants...

930
00:59:56,868 --> 00:59:58,468
and one more jackass.

931
01:00:01,768 --> 01:00:02,869
What an idiot.

932
01:00:02,869 --> 01:00:04,369
He's a mook.

933
01:00:04,469 --> 01:00:05,669
Jerks.

934
01:00:06,669 --> 01:00:09,270
Don't worry about it, you guys.
Come on, eat up.

935
01:00:09,370 --> 01:00:10,370
Not hungry.

936
01:00:10,470 --> 01:00:11,570
Yeah, me neither.

937
01:00:11,670 --> 01:00:13,970
You guys can't eat.
I can't stop.

938
01:00:14,070 --> 01:00:15,971
- Can I go to the bathroom?
- Me, too.

939
01:00:16,071 --> 01:00:18,671
Okay. Dylan, go with them.
Please?

940
01:00:18,771 --> 01:00:19,971
Fine.

941
01:00:22,132 --> 01:00:24,672
Oh, excuse me.
Can I get a refill, please?

942
01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:26,472
Coming right up.

943
01:00:27,372 --> 01:00:28,373
Thank you.

944
01:00:28,473 --> 01:00:30,173
Excuse me.
Are you all right?

945
01:00:31,073 --> 01:00:32,073
Yeah.

946
01:00:33,873 --> 01:00:36,174
No. It's a long story.

947
01:00:36,274 --> 01:00:37,374
Well, I like stories.

948
01:00:38,174 --> 01:00:41,175
I'm considered
a bit of a storyteller myself.

949
01:00:42,275 --> 01:00:44,875
My husband...
Have you heard of "New York's Noah"?

950
01:00:46,976 --> 01:00:48,676
The guy
who's building the ark.

951
01:00:48,776 --> 01:00:50,076
That's him.

952
01:00:50,176 --> 01:00:53,277
I love that story,
Noah and the Ark.

953
01:00:53,377 --> 01:00:54,977
You know, a lot of people miss
the point of that story.

954
01:00:55,077 --> 01:00:57,077
They think it's about
God's wrath and anger.

955
01:00:57,977 --> 01:00:59,778
They love it
when God gets angry.

956
01:00:59,778 --> 01:01:02,278
What is the story about,
then? The ark?

957
01:01:02,378 --> 01:01:07,779
Well, I think it's a love story
about believing in each other.

958
01:01:07,779 --> 01:01:13,480
You know, the animals showed up in pairs.
They stood by each other, side by side,

959
01:01:13,580 --> 01:01:17,880
just like Noah and his family.
Everybody entered the ark side by side.

960
01:01:18,981 --> 01:01:21,881
But my husband says
God told him to do it.

961
01:01:23,681 --> 01:01:25,282
What do you do with that?

962
01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:27,182
Sounds like an opportunity.

963
01:01:30,182 --> 01:01:31,483
Let me ask you something.

964
01:01:32,483 --> 01:01:35,683
If someone prays for patience,
you think God gives them patience?

965
01:01:36,283 --> 01:01:39,584
Or does he give them...
the opportunity to be patient?

966
01:01:41,284 --> 01:01:43,384
If they pray for courage,
does God give them courage,

967
01:01:43,384 --> 01:01:46,085
or does he give them opportunities
to be courageous?

968
01:01:48,285 --> 01:01:50,686
If someone prayed
for their family to be closer,

969
01:01:51,886 --> 01:01:54,786
you think God zaps them
with warm, fuzzy feelings?

970
01:01:55,686 --> 01:01:58,087
Or does he give them opportunities
to love each other?

971
01:02:01,287 --> 01:02:05,388
Well, I gotta run.
Lot of people to serve. Enjoy.

972
01:02:12,389 --> 01:02:15,390
<i>Guess this comes as no surprise to
those who remember his campaign promise,</i>

973
01:02:15,490 --> 01:02:17,290
"I will lower taxes,

974
01:02:17,690 --> 01:02:19,890
"go crazy and
build a gigantic ark."

975
01:02:27,991 --> 01:02:29,992
Oh, my gosh.

976
01:02:34,593 --> 01:02:35,593
Evan!

977
01:02:35,693 --> 01:02:36,793
Dad?

978
01:02:36,893 --> 01:02:37,993
Honey!

979
01:02:38,093 --> 01:02:39,093
Dad?

980
01:02:39,093 --> 01:02:40,894
You guys, I'm up here.

981
01:02:58,096 --> 01:03:00,097
- Rough week?
- You look really funny.

982
01:03:00,197 --> 01:03:01,397
You look really old.

983
01:03:01,497 --> 01:03:02,997
Yeah, well,
he is really old.

984
01:03:05,197 --> 01:03:06,398
Why'd you come back?

985
01:03:06,498 --> 01:03:07,598
It was the kids.

986
01:03:07,698 --> 01:03:08,554
Tell him, guys.

987
01:03:08,554 --> 01:03:10,898
We like you better
as the crazy guy.

988
01:03:10,898 --> 01:03:13,299
You spend time with us
and you're home a lot more.

989
01:03:13,399 --> 01:03:15,999
Just, please don't make us do
the dance anymore.

990
01:03:37,602 --> 01:03:42,103
I don't know what's going on,
or what you're going through,

991
01:03:42,803 --> 01:03:44,604
but we got into this
as a family

992
01:03:45,483 --> 01:03:48,504
and we're gonna
get out of it... as a family,

993
01:03:49,404 --> 01:03:51,005
side by side.

994
01:03:58,506 --> 01:04:01,906
But, Evan, we have to talk
about the ark. It has to come down.

995
01:04:02,006 --> 01:04:03,307
I can't do that.

996
01:04:03,407 --> 01:04:04,807
You don't have a choice.

997
01:04:05,207 --> 01:04:08,807
Congressman Long went to the city.
There's a laundry list of code violations.

998
01:04:08,807 --> 01:04:11,087
You have until September 22
to... take it down,

999
01:04:11,087 --> 01:04:13,208
or... they'll take it down
and arrest you.

1000
01:04:13,308 --> 01:04:15,308
September 22.
That's the day of the flood.

1001
01:04:15,408 --> 01:04:16,909
Mom! Dad! Come here!

1002
01:04:42,013 --> 01:04:44,413
Don't you dare
take that ark down.

1003
01:04:47,013 --> 01:04:48,914
How are we gonna do this?

1004
01:04:49,014 --> 01:04:51,214
There's no way the five
of us can finish on time.

1005
01:04:51,314 --> 01:04:53,414
We don't have money
to hire anybody else.

1006
01:04:58,515 --> 01:05:00,416
Is that a llama
with a hammer?

1007
01:05:00,516 --> 01:05:04,016
An alpaca. They rarely spit at people
unless frightened or abused.

1008
01:05:06,517 --> 01:05:07,717
Let's finish this sucker.

1009
01:05:13,018 --> 01:05:14,218
Come on, let's go.

1010
01:05:14,218 --> 01:05:15,618
No one knows
where they came from

1011
01:05:15,718 --> 01:05:17,518
or how the congressman
is getting them to do it,

1012
01:05:17,618 --> 01:05:23,519
but, two by two, animals of all kinds
are working with Godspeed to build this ark.

1013
01:05:23,619 --> 01:05:25,119
Thank you.

1014
01:05:25,219 --> 01:05:28,420
If this flood really
does happen, "Evan help us".

1015
01:05:30,020 --> 01:05:31,520
Hey! A little help?

1016
01:05:35,521 --> 01:05:36,521
Thanks.

1017
01:05:37,921 --> 01:05:39,022
Here it is, hon.

1018
01:05:40,322 --> 01:05:43,022
Perfect. Thanks.

1019
01:05:47,023 --> 01:05:48,523
Hold it right there.

1020
01:05:48,623 --> 01:05:52,224
This is Ed Carson coming to you
live from New York Noah's construction site,

1021
01:05:52,224 --> 01:05:57,325
where we are unable to leave the news van
due to hazardous conditions outside.

1022
01:06:00,525 --> 01:06:01,525
- High five.
- High five.

1023
01:06:01,525 --> 01:06:02,525
Good job.

1024
01:06:03,225 --> 01:06:04,926
Hey, putty tat.

1025
01:06:08,926 --> 01:06:11,827
Go, go, go!
He tried to eat me!

1026
01:06:12,127 --> 01:06:14,827
Dylan! Jordan! Check it out!
Your mom's building an ark!

1027
01:06:14,927 --> 01:06:16,228
Let's do the dance.

1028
01:06:16,328 --> 01:06:18,328
No, please, No.

1029
01:06:21,028 --> 01:06:22,929
Well, where did
the animals come from, then?

1030
01:06:23,029 --> 01:06:24,129
Please. It's a trick.

1031
01:06:24,229 --> 01:06:25,629
It's a circus
is what it is.

1032
01:06:25,729 --> 01:06:28,830
Wild animals running amok
in suburban Virginia.

1033
01:06:28,830 --> 01:06:32,530
With all these species,
what's being done about the feces?

1034
01:06:38,631 --> 01:06:43,932
Evan Baxter! You have gone from newsman
to congressman to... caveman.

1035
01:06:44,032 --> 01:06:46,532
What makes you so sure
God chose you?

1036
01:06:47,833 --> 01:06:49,533
He chose all of us.

1037
01:06:58,934 --> 01:07:00,835
Time to wash up,
you guys.

1038
01:07:07,436 --> 01:07:08,636
Thanks.

1039
01:07:12,036 --> 01:07:13,537
You want some?

1040
01:07:33,476 --> 01:07:36,444
Why couldn't the man
just buy a Corvette?

1041
01:07:36,701 --> 01:07:40,800
Well, well, well. There they are.
It is good to see you guys.

1042
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:46,100
It's good to see you! Your hair looks great.
It's very regal. Man, I love your hair!

1043
01:07:46,100 --> 01:07:47,842
And you're still sucking up.

1044
01:07:47,942 --> 01:07:48,942
So, why are you here?

1045
01:07:49,042 --> 01:07:50,142
Long locked us out.

1046
01:07:50,242 --> 01:07:51,243
He can't do that.

1047
01:07:51,343 --> 01:07:53,543
I mean, I've been suspended,
but I'm still a congressman.

1048
01:07:53,643 --> 01:07:54,743
Rita, tell him
what you know.

1049
01:07:54,843 --> 01:07:55,843
Tell me what?

1050
01:07:55,943 --> 01:07:58,744
I smelled a rat the second
we got that office.

1051
01:07:58,844 --> 01:08:00,844
You don't get an office
like that for nothing.

1052
01:08:00,944 --> 01:08:04,145
So I had the stalker here
do some research.

1053
01:08:04,145 --> 01:08:05,345
Okay, Eugene, talk.

1054
01:08:05,745 --> 01:08:07,292
Prestige Crest used to be
federal lands,

1055
01:08:07,292 --> 01:08:10,546
but... what's interesting is
how it got into private hands.

1056
01:08:10,546 --> 01:08:12,946
Congressman Long got
the approval to build a dam

1057
01:08:13,046 --> 01:08:15,946
and then passed out the surrounding lands
to a group of private investors.

1058
01:08:16,046 --> 01:08:17,347
Now, the locals fought
this thing for years.

1059
01:08:17,447 --> 01:08:19,647
They said Long and his developer buddies
were cutting corners,

1060
01:08:19,747 --> 01:08:22,047
like skipping important
building code checkpoints.

1061
01:08:22,047 --> 01:08:25,148
And with the land use bill, he's gonna do
the same thing with the national parks.

1062
01:08:25,248 --> 01:08:28,948
So, you stand by and shake your pom-poms
while Long and his buddies get rich.

1063
01:08:29,048 --> 01:08:31,149
What can we do?
I'm suspended.

1064
01:08:31,249 --> 01:08:34,649
Go back to the Hill and show them
that you can and will fight this bill.

1065
01:08:34,749 --> 01:08:37,750
You guys, I'm sorry. I can't do that.
I have to get back to the ark.

1066
01:08:37,750 --> 01:08:39,450
The ark? All right. Okay.

1067
01:08:39,550 --> 01:08:41,450
God told you to build an ark?
- Yes.

1068
01:08:41,550 --> 01:08:44,551
But did he tell you to make your friends
believe in you and follow you here

1069
01:08:44,651 --> 01:08:47,751
so you can make us look stupid?
Cause I go to church every Sunday.

1070
01:08:48,678 --> 01:08:50,252
Okay, every other Sunday.

1071
01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:54,587
I've been to church! And that
does not sound like God to me.

1072
01:08:54,587 --> 01:08:57,028
Rita, I know that this
doesn't make any sense.

1073
01:08:57,028 --> 01:08:59,754
I just want you to trust me.
You just have to have faith.

1074
01:08:59,920 --> 01:09:04,362
Evan, faith will not fight this bill.
The CINPLAN vote is today!

1075
01:09:04,362 --> 01:09:08,207
If we're gonna stop this thing,
you need to get down to Capitol Hill now!

1076
01:09:08,207 --> 01:09:09,619
Otherwise, it's impossible!

1077
01:09:09,619 --> 01:09:13,216
Dad, dad,
I think it's done.

1078
01:10:11,234 --> 01:10:15,665
What in the world? I can't even
get my cat to use the litter box.

1079
01:10:57,072 --> 01:11:00,834
It's September 22, and
we're all still here.

1080
01:11:01,218 --> 01:11:02,893
Awkward!

1081
01:11:02,905 --> 01:11:06,071
People!
The flood is imminent!

1082
01:11:06,071 --> 01:11:10,274
Board the ark!
Save yourselves!

1083
01:11:10,374 --> 01:11:11,774
Get down, you fool!

1084
01:11:12,274 --> 01:11:16,275
Listen to me!
The time has come!

1085
01:11:16,375 --> 01:11:20,476
No, Captain Ahab!
Your time has come!

1086
01:11:21,776 --> 01:11:26,476
Yeah, Baxter! The weather's 70
and sunny with a chance of crazy!

1087
01:11:31,877 --> 01:11:36,078
Do you hear that?
The rains are upon us!

1088
01:11:36,178 --> 01:11:37,878
Dad, I don't think
that's the rains.

1089
01:11:42,279 --> 01:11:44,979
Hey, Baxter!
Kiss your ark goodbye!

1090
01:11:57,381 --> 01:11:57,794
Where is he?

1091
01:11:57,794 --> 01:11:59,209
On the boat, sir.

1092
01:12:00,147 --> 01:12:02,330
Gimme a minute.
Lets see if I can convince "Noah"

1093
01:12:02,330 --> 01:12:04,646
that the world doesn't
have to end today.

1094
01:12:08,683 --> 01:12:11,533
I gotta hand it to you,
this is quite the show.

1095
01:12:11,533 --> 01:12:14,474
According to my source,
the show hasn't even started yet.

1096
01:12:14,474 --> 01:12:16,188
Still expecting the big flood.

1097
01:12:16,188 --> 01:12:18,632
You know, voters don't respond
to the gloom and doom stuff.

1098
01:12:18,632 --> 01:12:20,075
They like
a more positive message.

1099
01:12:20,075 --> 01:12:21,801
Like the one
you're sending with your bill?

1100
01:12:21,801 --> 01:12:23,869
How much did you
make off of all this land?

1101
01:12:23,869 --> 01:12:27,267
You are destroying
our national parks for profit.

1102
01:12:27,267 --> 01:12:29,267
You have a problem with
somebody taking a little profit?

1103
01:12:29,267 --> 01:12:30,844
It's called business, son.

1104
01:12:30,844 --> 01:12:33,279
So if I need to get a message out there,
or get a congressman elected

1105
01:12:33,279 --> 01:12:37,517
there are people who pay for it, and yes,
those people want this bill to happen

1106
01:12:37,517 --> 01:12:41,592
and, by God, it's gonna happen.
Now you look down there.

1107
01:12:42,064 --> 01:12:43,639
Those are the wolves, son.

1108
01:12:43,857 --> 01:12:47,215
I'm gonna give you one last chance.
Take down this boat.

1109
01:12:47,215 --> 01:12:51,488
I'm giving you one last chance.
Repent.

1110
01:12:52,289 --> 01:12:56,099
Such a shame.
You had possibilities.

1111
01:12:56,217 --> 01:13:00,105
But you wanna stop progress
to save the Earth. Go for it.

1112
01:13:00,105 --> 01:13:02,645
Good luck getting a tree
to come to the polls.

1113
01:13:07,983 --> 01:13:09,342
Take it down.

1114
01:13:16,781 --> 01:13:20,184
<i>This is a court order approving
the demolition of this boat!</i>

1115
01:13:20,184 --> 01:13:23,364
<i>Evacuate immediately!
You have three minutes!</i>

1116
01:13:25,857 --> 01:13:30,323
Honey. We have to go.
They're gonna destroy the boat.

1117
01:13:30,824 --> 01:13:31,717
No.

1118
01:13:32,827 --> 01:13:34,751
It can't end this way.

1119
01:13:36,183 --> 01:13:40,728
Is it too much to ask
for a little precipitation?

1120
01:13:41,385 --> 01:13:45,125
Honey, maybe God
didn't mean a literal flood.

1121
01:13:45,125 --> 01:13:50,435
Maybe He meant a flood of...
knowledge or... emotion or awareness.

1122
01:13:50,453 --> 01:13:51,804
If that's true,

1123
01:13:53,500 --> 01:13:56,386
I am going
to be so pissed.

1124
01:13:56,454 --> 01:13:57,780
<i>Two minutes!</i>

1125
01:13:57,780 --> 01:14:01,323
<i>Get off the boat now
or you will be removed by force.</i>

1126
01:14:01,323 --> 01:14:04,943
Evan, you did it.
You built the ark.

1127
01:14:04,943 --> 01:14:06,411
That's all you
were asked to do, right?

1128
01:14:06,411 --> 01:14:07,364
No.

1129
01:14:07,799 --> 01:14:12,261
There's something else. Something's
going to happen. I can feel it.

1130
01:14:12,261 --> 01:14:15,144
Yeah, what's gonna happen is
tear gas and a wrecking ball.

1131
01:14:15,144 --> 01:14:16,863
Evan, think of the kids.

1132
01:14:18,192 --> 01:14:19,888
<i>One minute!</i>

1133
01:14:21,794 --> 01:14:23,544
Dad, whatever you say,
I'm with you.

1134
01:14:23,544 --> 01:14:25,056
Yeah, me, too.

1135
01:14:25,056 --> 01:14:27,656
Me, too. But... can we keep
some of the animals?

1136
01:14:27,656 --> 01:14:29,844
I like the alpaca.
He spits.

1137
01:14:34,363 --> 01:14:38,122
You're right. We did it.
We built the boat.

1138
01:14:38,419 --> 01:14:39,481
Yeah.

1139
01:14:40,003 --> 01:14:42,662
Let's go.
Let's go, guys. Come on.

1140
01:14:56,010 --> 01:14:57,213
Well, I guess
they don't wannna go.

1141
01:14:57,213 --> 01:14:58,789
It's their instinct.

1142
01:14:58,789 --> 01:15:00,192
What do you mean, hon?

1143
01:15:00,445 --> 01:15:05,278
Some animals know when weather's coming.
When they feel it coming, they sit.

1144
01:15:13,646 --> 01:15:14,858
Joan!

1145
01:15:24,041 --> 01:15:26,503
<i>Okay. Time's up!
We're coming in!</i>

1146
01:15:26,503 --> 01:15:29,659
Get that ball in position!
We're clearing them out!

1147
01:15:41,217 --> 01:15:44,135
Is that rain?
It's raining.

1148
01:15:44,135 --> 01:15:47,288
Lucky guess, Baxter.
Lucky guess.

1149
01:16:03,360 --> 01:16:07,002
Looks like the drought's finally over.
Good news, eh, Congressman?

1150
01:16:07,431 --> 01:16:10,069
Yeah. Good news.

1151
01:16:12,284 --> 01:16:18,419
Everybody! Please!
Get on the ark!

1152
01:16:20,123 --> 01:16:21,285
Go to the car!

1153
01:16:21,407 --> 01:16:25,529
Please! Everyone!
On the ark!

1154
01:16:25,529 --> 01:16:29,092
Cover me up! Keep me dry!
Cover me up! Keep me dry!

1155
01:16:29,324 --> 01:16:33,325
Who's crazy now, huh?
Look at us all squishing!

1156
01:16:41,111 --> 01:16:43,126
It kind of stopped raining.

1157
01:16:43,226 --> 01:16:44,070
Is that it?

1158
01:16:44,070 --> 01:16:46,567
What did I tell you?
It's fine. It's over.

1159
01:16:46,567 --> 01:16:49,057
Hey, Ahab! This is it?

1160
01:16:49,204 --> 01:16:52,392
Your God experiencing
a little water shortage?

1161
01:16:52,917 --> 01:16:56,218
It would appear Evan Baxter
was right about the rain,

1162
01:16:56,450 --> 01:17:00,719
with a slight miscalculation
as to the quantity.

1163
01:17:04,314 --> 01:17:05,692
Something's wrong.

1164
01:17:05,838 --> 01:17:07,679
Honey,
the clouds are moving away.

1165
01:17:07,679 --> 01:17:10,756
No, no.
No, this isn't right.

1166
01:17:11,366 --> 01:17:14,855
Evan, even if it kept raining,
it's not like it could cause a flood in a day.

1167
01:17:14,855 --> 01:17:19,977
But today is the day! It has to be.
This just doesn't make any sense!

1168
01:17:22,433 --> 01:17:23,533
Wait a second.

1169
01:17:23,633 --> 01:17:24,271
What... what is it?

1170
01:17:24,271 --> 01:17:27,949
Marty said that Long cut corners,
violated building codes.

1171
01:17:27,949 --> 01:17:28,807
What are you talking about?

1172
01:17:28,807 --> 01:17:30,811
The lake, Long Lake.

1173
01:17:30,811 --> 01:17:35,006
It's named after him.
It's the lake! It's the lake!

1174
01:17:48,237 --> 01:17:49,364
Oh, no.

1175
01:17:51,081 --> 01:17:55,683
Get on the ark!
Everyone, on the ark... now!

1176
01:17:55,683 --> 01:17:57,547
I think
we should get on the ark.

1177
01:17:57,605 --> 01:18:00,500
I agree. I think
we should get on the ark also.

1178
01:18:00,512 --> 01:18:04,039
I'm cold. I'm wet.
I'm going home.

1179
01:18:11,640 --> 01:18:13,359
Ladies first! Move!

1180
01:18:21,251 --> 01:18:25,566
Oh, my God. This is happening.
This is really happening.

1181
01:18:25,910 --> 01:18:29,220
Holy... Get everyone
on the ark now!

1182
01:18:29,220 --> 01:18:32,494
Get on the ark now! Let's go!
Get on the ark! Let's go! Go!

1183
01:18:32,544 --> 01:18:35,311
Go, go, go, go!
Get on the ark!

1184
01:18:36,520 --> 01:18:41,145
Go, go, go! On the ark!
Go, go, go, go, go!

1185
01:18:41,245 --> 01:18:43,282
All right, boys!
Let's go! Let's go!

1186
01:18:43,384 --> 01:18:47,455
We're gonna need a bigger boat.
Stay here with the kids.

1187
01:18:56,277 --> 01:18:57,247
Come on, Rita!

1188
01:18:57,763 --> 01:19:02,106
Everyone, up the ramp! Onto the deck!
Come on! Hurry, hurry, hurry!

1189
01:19:02,106 --> 01:19:04,209
Dylan, get back inside!
It's too dangerous.

1190
01:19:04,209 --> 01:19:06,393
No, dad.
I told you, I'm with you.

1191
01:19:10,394 --> 01:19:13,379
Careful, everyone.
In the ark! In the ark!

1192
01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:16,024
Watch your step!
Up the ramp, everybody!

1193
01:19:23,723 --> 01:19:24,676
Guys, help me
with the door!

1194
01:19:24,676 --> 01:19:26,122
Get the door! Get the door!

1195
01:20:08,711 --> 01:20:10,306
Guys! Guys!

1196
01:20:43,449 --> 01:20:45,458
Everybody hang on!

1197
01:20:56,685 --> 01:20:58,907
You guys all right?
You okay?

1198
01:20:59,132 --> 01:21:00,778
<i>There's been a flood
at Prestige Crest</i>

1199
01:21:00,778 --> 01:21:03,121
<i>and you're seeing live images
of New York Noah's ark</i>

1200
01:21:03,121 --> 01:21:06,868
<i>caught in the storm surge and
heading towards Memorial Bridge!</i>

1201
01:21:14,288 --> 01:21:15,223
We're gonna crash!

1202
01:21:15,223 --> 01:21:16,721
Turn this thing around!

1203
01:21:16,721 --> 01:21:18,242
We're not gonna make it!

1204
01:21:18,242 --> 01:21:20,139
Save us, Baxter!

1205
01:21:31,521 --> 01:21:36,076
I command thee halt!
Stop! Whoa!

1206
01:21:36,076 --> 01:21:38,040
It's not working!

1207
01:21:38,407 --> 01:21:41,445
How about a little help here?

1208
01:22:27,455 --> 01:22:29,621
What do you mean there was water damage?
It rained for ten minutes.

1209
01:22:29,621 --> 01:22:31,551
That is not possible.

1210
01:22:41,152 --> 01:22:42,903
- I love you guys.
- All right.

1211
01:22:42,903 --> 01:22:44,397
- Seriously.
- Okay, I got it.

1212
01:22:44,397 --> 01:22:45,933
- I love you.
- Thank you.

1213
01:23:03,161 --> 01:23:07,838
All those in favor of the Public Land
Act, please signify by saying "Aye".

1214
01:23:14,814 --> 01:23:16,118
Good God!

1215
01:23:51,335 --> 01:23:53,366
I think
we can walk from here.

1216
01:24:10,976 --> 01:24:15,937
Hello, Congressman. Mind if I...
park my boat here for a little while?

1217
01:24:16,998 --> 01:24:17,553
But how...?

1218
01:24:17,553 --> 01:24:18,996
The dam, Congressman.

1219
01:24:18,996 --> 01:24:22,591
Your reservoir ruptured.
Prestige Crest, it's all gone.

1220
01:24:22,591 --> 01:24:24,878
No. They said
that couldn't happen.

1221
01:24:26,144 --> 01:24:27,805
I never thought this...

1222
01:24:28,722 --> 01:24:34,251
You. You did this to me.
You set me up, you crazy son of a...

1223
01:24:37,049 --> 01:24:39,935
Wow.
That is disgusting.

1224
01:24:40,077 --> 01:24:41,352
If that comes out your front,

1225
01:24:41,352 --> 01:24:43,857
I don't even wanna know
what's coming out the back.

1226
01:24:48,017 --> 01:24:50,426
Don't look down, Congressman,
but the wolves are here,

1227
01:24:50,464 --> 01:24:54,724
although I wouldn't worry so much
about these wolves as those.

1228
01:25:02,888 --> 01:25:04,273
Gesundheit.

1229
01:25:16,184 --> 01:25:19,860
As you can see behind me,
New York Noah's prediction came true.

1230
01:25:19,860 --> 01:25:22,492
The vote of the Land Act Bill
has been suspended,

1231
01:25:22,492 --> 01:25:25,483
pending investigation of
Congressman Long for profiteering.

1232
01:25:25,483 --> 01:25:28,567
Of course now, the question is,
how will these animals be returned

1233
01:25:28,567 --> 01:25:30,307
to their natural habitats?

1234
01:25:30,316 --> 01:25:34,066
Something tells me, if God got them here,
He can probably get them home.

1235
01:25:34,066 --> 01:25:37,266
The House will undoubtedly
reinstate Congressman Baxter

1236
01:25:37,266 --> 01:25:39,187
when it reconvenes
in the morning.

1237
01:25:39,187 --> 01:25:42,784
Until then, there is a lot
to be done here on Capitol Hill.

1238
01:25:42,784 --> 01:25:44,071
How's Buster doing?

1239
01:25:44,071 --> 01:25:45,295
Come on, Buster.

1240
01:25:45,373 --> 01:25:48,012
- No, come on. Come on!
- Come on!

1241
01:25:48,112 --> 01:25:49,193
- These too heavy? It's all right?
- No, it's fine.

1242
01:25:49,193 --> 01:25:50,393
He can't keep up.

1243
01:25:50,517 --> 01:25:51,995
I know, sweetie!

1244
01:25:51,995 --> 01:25:55,312
All right. What do you say
we take a little break?

1245
01:25:55,312 --> 01:25:57,201
We've only been walking
for, like, five minutes, dad.

1246
01:25:57,201 --> 01:26:00,225
Well, five on, five off.
Life is about balance, right?

1247
01:26:00,225 --> 01:26:01,690
How 'bout some sandwiches?
- Okay.

1248
01:26:01,690 --> 01:26:03,715
Who wants sandwiches?
Let's do it!

1249
01:26:03,815 --> 01:26:04,310
I get first dibs!

1250
01:26:04,310 --> 01:26:07,218
Everyone but Buster
is going to get a sandwich.

1251
01:26:07,218 --> 01:26:11,521
You do not get a sandwich!
You're a dog and...

1252
01:26:11,570 --> 01:26:14,698
Buster is part of the family now.
You're just gonna have to get used to it.

1253
01:26:14,698 --> 01:26:16,665
Poor Buster!

1254
01:26:17,557 --> 01:26:20,662
Honey, come here.
Sweetheart, be careful. Come here.

1255
01:26:20,662 --> 01:26:22,657
- Hey, hon, save me one, okay?
- Okay.

1256
01:26:22,657 --> 01:26:23,801
I'll be right back.

1257
01:26:32,241 --> 01:26:34,048
- Hey.
- Hey.

1258
01:26:35,484 --> 01:26:37,055
What are you doing here?

1259
01:26:37,886 --> 01:26:40,109
Just hanging out
with some old friends.

1260
01:26:40,109 --> 01:26:43,665
You knew all along, didn't you?
You knew the dam was unstable....

1261
01:26:43,665 --> 01:26:47,094
If it hadn't been for the ark,
my family, the neighbors...

1262
01:26:47,479 --> 01:26:49,779
I fought you
every step of the way.

1263
01:26:49,779 --> 01:26:51,924
Yes, but you did it.

1264
01:26:52,181 --> 01:26:56,978
So, you had nothing to do with the flood?
Like... where the ark landed exactly?

1265
01:26:56,978 --> 01:27:00,731
I gave you a little shove
at the end. Sue me.

1266
01:27:02,967 --> 01:27:06,325
You did good, son.
You changed the world.

1267
01:27:06,724 --> 01:27:08,526
No, no, I didn't.

1268
01:27:08,526 --> 01:27:09,301
Well, let's see.

1269
01:27:09,301 --> 01:27:13,397
Spending time with your family,
making them very happy.

1270
01:27:13,696 --> 01:27:15,587
Gave that dog a home.

1271
01:27:15,727 --> 01:27:17,178
Right. So?

1272
01:27:17,585 --> 01:27:18,656
So?

1273
01:27:19,372 --> 01:27:21,480
How do we change the world?

1274
01:27:23,152 --> 01:27:26,788
One act of random kindness
at a time.

1275
01:27:26,788 --> 01:27:31,729
One act of random kindness.

1276
01:27:31,829 --> 01:27:33,071
Wow.

1277
01:27:36,606 --> 01:27:38,007
It's time.

1278
01:27:39,736 --> 01:27:41,443
Do the dance.

1279
01:27:42,582 --> 01:27:44,414
Care to join me?

1280
01:28:40,980 --> 01:28:43,332
I now issue
a new commandment,

1281
01:28:43,632 --> 01:28:46,210
"Thou shalt do the dance".

1282
01:29:48,350 --> 01:29:51,325
Stop it!
This is stupid!

1283
01:29:51,325 --> 01:29:55,090
That's awful dancing!
You better stop!

1284
01:30:33,157 --> 01:30:34,703
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,
you don't have to go home.</i>

1285
01:30:34,703 --> 01:30:37,598
<i>You just have to go.
We are wrapped.</i>

1286
01:30:37,598 --> 01:30:40,896
<i>We're wrapped.
We love you. Thank you.</i>

1287
01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:44,114