1 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,400 Shit, fuck! 2 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,840 God damn it! 3 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,120 My God, my God, are you all right? 4 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:26,920 I'm fine. 5 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,080 I think you dislocated your shoulder. 6 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,840 I was about to break my P.R. 7 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:30,520 Damn it! 8 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:31,880 I... I think I should call 911. 9 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:32,840 I'm training for an important meet. 10 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:33,800 I have to keep going. 11 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,080 Absolutely not. 12 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,040 I need you to pop it in. 13 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,640 Like, I can't do that. 14 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,360 It's a slow and steady pull, directly away from my body, 15 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,800 without any sudden movements. 16 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:42,440 I-I-I-... 17 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,600 Do it on three. 18 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,360 Okay, I-I can do this. 19 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,040 I can do this. 20 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,160 One, two, three. 21 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,480 My God! 22 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:06,440 I'm Robert. 23 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:07,640 I'm Fern. 24 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:08,800 Yeah, I know. 25 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,080 I... I sit behind you in fifth period chem. 26 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,160 Wanna hang out on Friday, Robert? 27 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,440 I was hoping you would ask me. 28 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,280 Wanna hook up in my car? 29 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,280 With who? 30 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,640 Is it the guy from the car wash? 31 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,120 Or is it the guy who wears his hat backwards? 32 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,080 Or is it that guy from your school 33 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,000 who had that thing for me? 34 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,080 Kelsey, don't you have anything better to do? 35 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,520 No, I'm on my vacation days. 36 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,360 It's a-it's a perk of being unemployed-self-employed. 37 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,200 'Kay. 38 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,680 Well, use a condom. 39 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:47,600 Bye, sis. 40 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,960 Hey, Fern, it's me, Robert. 41 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,440 I'm thinkin' maybe I may throw a party sometime, 42 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:53,720 like at my house, with all my friends. 43 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:54,800 I got friends, a lot of em'. 44 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:55,920 Hey. 45 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,920 Robert, are you taking another long shower? 46 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,240 No, Mom! 47 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:06,840 Fern Petersen... 48 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,440 Robert, will you... 49 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,160 Will you be my girlfriend? 50 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,640 Wait, is he supposed to ask that? 51 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:15,480 Hey, Robert. 52 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,480 Fern, you look amazing. 53 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:18,280 Thanks. 54 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,360 So how far are we gonna go tonight? 55 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:21,560 I d... 56 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,840 That's not what I meant to say. 57 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,520 I meant to say how far are we gonna drive 58 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,040 because I have to be home by 11. 59 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,040 I have practice tomorrow. 60 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,800 Actually, we don't have to drive anywhere. 61 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,560 You know, I think my favorite thing about you, Fern, 62 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,800 is how graceful you are. 63 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,280 This is a work in progress. 64 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,280 As long as you'll be my first boyfriend. 65 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,480 Yeah. 66 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:36,840 Hey. 67 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:42,440 Christian Singles Magazine says you have to be sexy 68 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,840 and spontaneous. 69 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,120 And don't forget to swallow... 70 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,280 -Moe. -Your pride, 71 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,440 because relationships are about compromise. 72 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,360 I'm so happy for you, Fern. 73 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,440 Eskimo. 74 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,520 Do you wanna have sex soon? 75 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:09,800 Soon would be nice. 76 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,080 Well, I just don't know if we're ready and 77 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,040 I want our first time to be 78 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,320 perfect. Perfect. 79 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,160 I know. It will be. 80 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,000 Because you're perfect. 81 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,160 Happy one month anniversary. 82 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,680 Happy one month and one week anniversary. 83 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,960 -I love you beary much. -Happy one month 84 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,440 and three week anniversary. 85 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:47,720 I love you beary much. 86 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,320 It's what our kid will look like. 87 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,400 I made it on the internet. 88 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,360 He seems like the perfect boyfriend. 89 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,080 For the love of God, break up. 90 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,680 I mean, I see what he was trying to do. 91 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,800 Fern, where do you see yourself in a year? 92 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,320 At MIT, running for the track team, 93 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:22,640 and studying neuroscience. 94 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:24,880 See, you're gonna be miles apart from each other 95 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,840 and you won't want Mister Crazy latched onto you. 96 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,440 By the way, which of these socks puppets do you think 97 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,360 better exudes professionalism? 98 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,160 The blue one. 99 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,040 But Robert has perfect eyebrows. 100 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,400 And he has an enormous, throbbing heart. 101 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:41,440 I want a guy like that. 102 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,160 I'm the sister here, I give the advice, 103 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,680 and you are not helping. 104 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:45,680 I'm sorry. 105 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,200 Anyway, if you wanna go to MIT, 106 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,320 you can't be tied down. 107 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,760 But, I mean, should I break up with? 108 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,400 Should I keep it going? Should I keep it going and then break up with him? 109 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,760 I mean, how is this supposed to work? 110 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:55,600 It's like when Mom and Dad say, 111 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,280 "Kelsey, why don't you have a job?" 112 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,480 And I say, "If I had a job, 113 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,520 "I could never become a billionaire entrepreneur." 114 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:10,160 You have to stick to your plan, no matter what. 115 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,320 Robert, she's going to love it. 116 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,560 It sure is swell, kiddo. 117 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:24,760 Thanks, Mom and Dad. 118 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:25,920 Hey, check this out. 119 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,080 Robert, it looks a little dangerous. 120 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,360 Yeah, that's my name. 121 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,600 Damn it. 122 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,640 I wrote that last year when I sat behind you 123 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:41,840 in Ms. Gerritt's class. 124 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,280 That's so sweet, Robert. 125 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,160 I actually have one more thing to show you. 126 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,680 Wait here. 127 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,440 Wait, Robert, I have to tell you something. 128 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,000 I know what you're gonna say. 129 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,280 And I've been wanting to say it, too, for the longest time. 130 00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,160 Fern Petersen, I love you! 131 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,480 I think we should break up! 132 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:00,480 Wait, what? 133 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,280 My God! 134 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,240 We're so sorry for your loss. 135 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,920 We brought you some lasagna. 136 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,200 Thank you. 137 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,520 Do you remember how Robert used to sit in class? 138 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,280 He would always raise his hand, 139 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,440 like he was trying to tell us something. 140 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,480 He was trying to tell us something. 141 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,240 And then he would be at his locker... 142 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,000 getting books. 143 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,960 You're so eloquent, Jenny. 144 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,800 Fern, I am so sorry for your loss. 145 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,480 If you ever need a best friend, 146 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,720 I am always here for you. 147 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,480 Thanks. 148 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,440 Didn't you wear that dress at formal? 149 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,080 It's so cute. 150 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,160 You should say something to his parents, Fern. 151 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,400 You killed him, Fern. 152 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:30,920 It was all your fault. 153 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,760 He died for you, Fern. 154 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:37,760 Fern? 155 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,520 You know, funeral etiquette. 156 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,120 What? 157 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,720 Fern. 158 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,800 You were the one. 159 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,840 The one. 160 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,120 He really was a good guy. 161 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,240 You know what you need? 162 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,400 A rebound. 163 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:16,840 Kelsey, it's been a week. 164 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,040 Shit. 165 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,280 This week has gone by slow. 166 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,440 Everyone's wearing black armbands for Robert. 167 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,800 Robert's in Heaven now, 168 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:38,120 playing angel games with his angel friends. 169 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:41,720 Keep your chin up. 170 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,760 Eskimo. 171 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,440 So, you doin' okay? 172 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,720 Not really, no. 173 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,240 Sorry, that was a dumb question. 174 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,440 But if you ever need anything, just let me know. 175 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:03,880 Psyched for game day, man? 176 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,480 Yeah. 177 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,400 Hey, listen, you know, I'm sorry about Ronald. 178 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,800 My turtle died last week, 179 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,480 so I know exactly how you feel. 180 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,400 I'll see you around, Fern. 181 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,760 See you, Harlan. 182 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,440 If you slow down, I swear to God 183 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,280 I will scream loudly in your face. 184 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:41,880 Sorry, Coach Valeria. 185 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,280 Don't apologize to me. 186 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,840 Apologize to yourself. 187 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,160 Sorry, Fern. 188 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,560 Much better. 189 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:49,520 How much time do I have to cut for a shot at the MIT team? 190 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,920 At least five seconds off your 400. 191 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:52,880 I'll get it down. 192 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,640 I know. 193 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:55,840 And sorry about your dead boyfriend. 194 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:56,840 Side hug. 195 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,160 Maybe I'll see him lingering around somewhere. 196 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,600 Sounds like he had a tragic death. 197 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:03,640 What? 198 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,480 Never mind. 199 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,200 I made you macaroni with bacon bits, 200 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,440 because when I was a cook in the Marines 201 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,840 that's what we served this to boost morale. 202 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:21,600 Semper Fi! 203 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:23,720 You know I really did like Robert. 204 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,040 I thought he was a great guy. 205 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,560 He was really cute. 206 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,400 He could play guitar. 207 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,800 I think he'd be the next Bob Dylan if he... lived. 208 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,360 Mom, Dean can stay for dinner, right? 209 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,600 Yes! 210 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,920 I can't stay, babe, dinner meeting tonight. 211 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,280 Also gotta feed the dog. 212 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,560 It's been like three days. 213 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,520 I love you. 214 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,120 Cool. 215 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,440 See you, Fern. 216 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,280 People like Dean are the reason this country 217 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:58,640 is going down the shitter. 218 00:13:58,680 --> 00:13:59,920 Dad! 219 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:10,600 Coach Valeria? 220 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:11,720 What the hell are you doin' here? 221 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:12,680 You're a ghost hunter? 222 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:13,520 Shit. 223 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:14,960 I don't do that anymore. 224 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,000 Wait. 225 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,840 Go away, Fern. 226 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,760 I need your help. 227 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,080 Nice place. 228 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,040 Ghost hunting makes a lot of money. 229 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,400 But that website was from the 90's. 230 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:28,920 I been meaning to take it down. 231 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:32,840 Coaching has been my cover ever since I... retired. 232 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,240 Well, can you unretire? 233 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,200 Please. 234 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,080 I get the job done, that's it. 235 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:42,800 Don't be calling me at all hours of the night 236 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,920 when your doodads are floating around your room. 237 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,120 Thanks, Coach. 238 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,600 Now when did the hauntings begin? 239 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,480 Last night a heart appeared in my macaroni 240 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,440 and earlier in the day there was this... 241 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:52,400 Sounds like a love ghost, 242 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,320 but it could be a butt-burrowing lava demon. 243 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,760 God. 244 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,800 Fern, you don't want to get involved in this shit. 245 00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,040 Love ghosts have been known to manipulate reality 246 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,040 and make things come to life. 247 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:05,080 And butt-burrowing lava demons, well... they hurt. 248 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,760 They come in through the back door. 249 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,320 I mean, back door, back door. 250 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:10,760 Brrrr. 251 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,200 All in your insides. 252 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,480 Ignore the hauntings. 253 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,960 I'm not ignoring Robert. 254 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,200 And I'm definitely not ignoring a butt-eating fire... 255 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:21,160 Butt-burrowing lava demon. 256 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,120 Amateur. 257 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:30,920 Bingo. 258 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,760 Amorem excitare spiritus. 259 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,680 I took Latin for a semester. 260 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:36,760 If that helps at all. 261 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:45,760 My. 262 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,680 Damn, it's a love ghost. 263 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,120 And your eyes were turning white. 264 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,240 How does that even happen? I made a connection with the netherworld. 265 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,280 To deal with love ghosts you have to know three things. 266 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,680 Rule number one, to summon Robert, say his name three times 267 00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,600 while standing on your head. 268 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,440 Rule number two, love ghosts can't move on. 269 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,440 Literally. They can't move far from the places you spent time together. 270 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,240 Rule number three, only you can see Robert, 271 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,400 since he's your love ghost. 272 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,760 No one else can see him. 273 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,640 Ignore Robert. Sooner or later he'll be swallowed into the hell pits 274 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:14,520 of eternal darkness. 275 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,200 You'll never have to hear from him again. 276 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:18,440 Just don't piss off love ghosts, 277 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:19,800 they can be deadly. 278 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,520 Fern, you can still walk away. 279 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,600 I'm not leaving Robert like that. 280 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,400 When love ghosts get outta hand, 281 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:32,200 it can turn a regular guy into a complete madman. 282 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:33,240 Side hug. 283 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,440 Robert. Robert. 284 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,360 Robert. 285 00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:48,680 -Fern, dinner's ready. -Fern. 286 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,560 You-you're not mad at me? 287 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:06,320 Why would I be mad at you? 288 00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:08,360 I love you. 289 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:09,320 I was planning on telling you, 290 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,200 but the other night was such a blur. 291 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,360 I must've caught a bug or something. 292 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:17,440 Robert... you're bleeding. 293 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:18,280 Really? 294 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,760 Here, this'll help. 295 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,200 Fern, dinner's ready. 296 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,960 Sexual harassment. 297 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,760 It's everywhere. 298 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:31,840 It's on the streets. 299 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,000 It's in schools. 300 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,600 It's in the workplace. 301 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:35,800 And why is it everywhere? 302 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,480 Because the people aren't educated. 303 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,520 So I, Kelsey Petersen, have taken it upon myself, 304 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,280 with my latest startup business, 305 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,280 to educate the people about sexual harassment, 306 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,160 but in a totally fun, new way. 307 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,880 With sock puppets. 308 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:50,920 Sock puppets. 309 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:51,880 Sexual harassment sock puppets. 310 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,040 They make sexual harassment fun. 311 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,680 It's great that you're starting your own business, Kelsey. 312 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,120 It's my fifth business. 313 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,640 Entrepreneurship is the backbone of our country. 314 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,120 Capitalism is evil. 315 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,600 But this idea just doesn't make any sense. 316 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,520 Well, it has some kinks. 317 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:07,720 I'll figure it out later. 318 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,160 It's okay, Kelsey. 319 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,640 Kelsey? 320 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,560 So, Fern, still tryin' to pork your boyfriend? 321 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:16,520 Dean! 322 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,400 What? 323 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,880 He die-! 324 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:20,880 What? 325 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,080 He died. 326 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,000 You should really think about writin' that 327 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,480 into your college essay. 328 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,440 You know, they love tragic shit like that. 329 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,120 That's very funny, Dean. 330 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,280 Dean, I suggest you leave, right now, 331 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,680 or I'm gonna pull up your personal website. 332 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,080 I'm outie! 333 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,800 What website? Babe? 334 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,960 What? What website? 335 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,560 Well, if it makes it any better, 336 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,040 Fern was about to break up with... 337 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:49,760 -Kelsey! 338 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,560 What? 339 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,840 No, Robert, I... 340 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,880 I told you she needed therapy. 341 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,040 Why are you hugging her? 342 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,720 Why didn't I get a salad? 343 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,240 Fern, what were they talking about in there? 344 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,080 Robert, there's no easy way to say this, 345 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,400 so I'm just gonna say it. 346 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:24,880 Say what? 347 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,120 The other night, you lost your head. 348 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,760 I apologize for the other night. 349 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:31,960 I don't even remember what happened. 350 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,600 No, it was cut off. 351 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:38,600 I think we should break up. 352 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,040 What? 353 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,480 You're dead, Robert. 354 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,720 I'm a vampire? 355 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:56,920 You're not undead. 356 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,160 You're just dead. 357 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,760 Ghosts are way cooler than vampires, anyway. 358 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,040 So, that's why no one was talking to me? 359 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,360 Can anyone else see me? 360 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,560 Maybe you should take some time 361 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,640 to figure things out. 362 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,520 Fine, I'll go to my grave. 363 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,320 That'll be fun. 364 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,560 Shit! 365 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,000 I should really learn how to walk through walls. 366 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,320 Yeah. 367 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,280 There ya go, sweetie. 368 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,040 Thanks, Flapper Girl. 369 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:06,880 Good day. 370 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,240 My name is Temperance Baker. 371 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,840 We're grave neighbors. 372 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,120 This is my tombstone. 373 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,880 Hi, I'm Robert. 374 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,360 Why the bitter countenance, Mister Robert? 375 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,120 Mostly this and there's this girl. 376 00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:24,040 We're in love, but she's alive. 377 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:27,200 I was in love once with my husband. 378 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,760 Our matrimony was... mostly perfect... 379 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,440 Yah! 380 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,640 There were a few bumps in our road. 381 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,160 Mister Robert, never let go of your beloved, 382 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,680 for nothing is more precious than love. 383 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:54,800 Hey, guys, 384 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,320 in light of Robert Klingher's recent passing, 385 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,880 the School Board has brought in a specialist 386 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,560 to speak to you guys about grief. 387 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,360 Good morning, Patrick Moore High. 388 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:06,800 Kelsey, what are you doing? 389 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,360 I'm diversifying my company. 390 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,000 Shush. 391 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,360 I hear you all are grieving. 392 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,680 I'm Kelsey Petersen, 393 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,880 CEO of Sock Puppet Therapy, Incorporated. 394 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,920 And my friends and I are here to tell you 395 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,240 that grief is okay. 396 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,560 Before we get started, I need a volunteer from the audience. 397 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,600 Anyone? 398 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:26,120 Fern. 399 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:27,640 Come on up here. 400 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,800 Come on, Fern. 401 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,800 Just put on the sock puppet. 402 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,600 And if you could read the lines from this script, 403 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,560 that would be awesome. 404 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,080 Fern and I are going to recreate a conversation 405 00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:40,360 that a lot of you have had lately. 406 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,080 Whenever you're ready, Fern. 407 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,320 "Have you heard about Javier?" 408 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,480 "Yes. 409 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,120 "He is dead now and he's not coming back. 410 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,520 "My emotions are really turbulent. 411 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,320 "Why did this have to happen?" 412 00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,440 "Everyone dies eventually. 413 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,240 "Some sooner than others. 414 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,560 "The important thing is that he loved you." 415 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,360 And you, and you, and you, and you. 416 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:18,760 Thank you, Fern. That was lovely. 417 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,240 And thank you for the segue, Fern. 418 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:26,120 The first stage of grief is denial. 419 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,560 Robert, Robert, Robert. 420 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,800 Why'd you summon me here? 421 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,560 You said I needed time to myself. 422 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:06,720 I wish I had a cute musician to teach me how to play. 423 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:15,880 Preferably one with big eyebrows and a dashing suit. 424 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,600 What else can you do? 425 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,960 If you're going to stay at school then you have to be quiet. 426 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,720 Beats hanging out in the cemetery. 427 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,760 In two weeks we have the biggest Goddamn meet of the year. 428 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,600 The Patrick Moore Invitational. 429 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,280 Yeah! 430 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,520 I need everyone to give 5,000% at practice. 431 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,120 If you lollygag, 432 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,720 I will shit on you. 433 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,440 Especially you, Carla. 434 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:51,760 Get outta here. 435 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:57,880 Will the MIT coach be there? 436 00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:58,920 Yeah. 437 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,880 That gives us two weeks to get your 400 down to 56. 438 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,680 MIT? 439 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:12,520 Are you trying to leave me? 440 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,120 No, no, but it's my dream school 441 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,120 and it's only four years. 442 00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:19,960 Yeah, but what if you forget about me? 443 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,920 Do I just cease to exist if you forget about me? 444 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,080 I'm pretty sure I could never forget about you, Robert. 445 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,560 MIT is overrated anyways. 446 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,720 Let's go, Fern! Let's go! 447 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,000 You don't want to get into MIT. 448 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:36,200 You don't want it bad enough. 449 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,800 One! 450 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,040 One! 451 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:51,680 Hey! 452 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,560 So tonight, we are going to have a romantic dinner 453 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,440 at the cemetery at six o'clock. 454 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:57,720 I would love to, Robert, but I... 455 00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,640 I have cheese. It's goat cheese. 456 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:00,880 Like the goatiest of goat cheese. 457 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:01,760 You're gonna love it. I have to finish up that lab report. 458 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:02,280 No, no, no, look, look, look, look. 459 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:05,320 I've also got wine. 460 00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:07,720 This comes from the hills of Venezuela. 461 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,160 I don't have time tonight, I'm sorry. 462 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:10,840 Look, I am going to be at the cemetery 463 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,160 and I know that you will make some time. 464 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,000 Robert. 465 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,160 Robert. 466 00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:22,120 It'll be just like our first date, 467 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:23,160 but I will be way less awkward. 468 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,080 Do you know anything about ghosts? 469 00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:31,200 You're weird. 470 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,800 No, but I do get why people believe in them. 471 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,480 They're comforting. 472 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,440 When my grandpa died when I was seven, 473 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,440 I'd like to believe that he was a ghost, 474 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,480 helping me with my homework, playing chess with me. 475 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,320 Sorry, was that TMI? 476 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,160 No, it's okay. 477 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:50,200 I'd better go. 478 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:51,240 If I leave Jenny alone in the lab 479 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,520 she's probably going to blow it up. 480 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:53,800 So see ya. 481 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:54,920 All right. 482 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:56,240 See ya. 483 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,360 Okay, well, I'm going out. 484 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:05,480 Good luck with this, best friend. 485 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,160 Jenny, wait. 486 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,320 Wine, Robert? 487 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,160 I know you're trying be cute, 488 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,960 but creepy music and ghost magic isn't cute. 489 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,840 I'm finishing this lab no matter what. 490 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:18,280 Robert, being dead does not give you the right 491 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:19,480 to be obnoxious. 492 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:20,440 Robert! 493 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,080 Robert, where are you? 494 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:29,440 You destroyed my lab. 495 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,640 You have a new boyfriend? 496 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:01,600 No. 497 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,360 I left these for myself. 498 00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:08,320 That's unhealthy, Fern. 499 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,160 Robert's an angel in heaven now. 500 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:11,200 He's not. 501 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,600 Never mind. 502 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,840 Eskimo. 503 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:17,960 Robert loved you. 504 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,400 He wrote a song on his guitar for you. 505 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:20,800 I got so wet from that. 506 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:21,800 N... 507 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:24,200 My eyes, they teared up so much. 508 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,600 Hi, Fern. 509 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:28,520 Hi, Moe. 510 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:30,440 So how'd the lab go last night? 511 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:31,720 Well, you left, but my... 512 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,280 So, because Georgia, Natasha, and I 513 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,320 are the most esteemed women at Patrick Moore High, 514 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,480 we feel we have certain responsibilities 515 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,160 to the students' bodies. 516 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:41,400 Student body. It's a... 517 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:42,920 So, what do you think of these? 518 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,840 The Robert Klingher Foundation for Beheaded Youth. 519 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,400 So that what happened to Robert 520 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:56,320 never happens to anyone ever again. 521 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,160 The probability of that happening is like 522 00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,120 a million to one, so like... 523 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,160 I know. You are so unlucky. 524 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,040 And he, like, actually liked you. 525 00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,440 That's rare for a guy, especially for you. 526 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,840 No offense. 527 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,720 I'm sorry. 528 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,000 When I need time to be alone, I need you to understand. 529 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,720 For you, I will do anything. 530 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,040 I promise. 531 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,080 I missed you. 532 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:47,840 Wait, wait, wait, 533 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,480 I want this to be perfect. 534 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:51,080 It will be. 535 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:52,440 We just have to try. 536 00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,960 Actually happening. 537 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,080 We're really doing this right now. 538 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,880 Intercourse. 539 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,600 Together. 540 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,080 Fern's around, just ask her. 541 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,640 Fern, can you help me with my. 542 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:14,560 Sorry. 543 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:17,640 God I feel like the mom from "Black Swan". 544 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,120 Sup? 545 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,120 Don't-don't look at this. 546 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:28,520 I'm so sorry that happened. 547 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,760 No, I-I'm sorry. 548 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,800 So are we still? 549 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,160 Yeah. 550 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,280 Hold on. 551 00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,640 Are you sure? 552 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:22,880 Yeah. 553 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,440 It's okay. 554 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:37,960 You ready? 555 00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,440 I thought this would be hard. 556 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:52,920 This is fun. 557 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,800 It's hard and fun. 558 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,160 We are having sex. 559 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,680 We're having sex. 560 00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:09,320 Wait, Robert. 561 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:10,960 I-I think I'm about to... 562 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:11,840 I think I'm gonna... 563 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:12,760 Robert! 564 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:14,440 I love you, too. 565 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:15,880 My God! 566 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:31,360 I don't think I can do this anymore. 567 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,800 Look, we don't have to have sex again, 568 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:37,000 we can just snuggle. 569 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:38,680 Robert, you're a great guy, 570 00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:42,640 but our relationship is doomed. 571 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:43,560 Our love survived death. 572 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:47,360 But we don't fit into each other's life plans 573 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,160 or death plans, sorry. 574 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,600 Robert, I think we should stop seeing each other. 575 00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:58,480 No one can see me but you. 576 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:27,640 Hello? 577 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,000 Best friend. 578 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:32,440 -Hello, Jenny. -You must be so lonely without your beloved Robert. 579 00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,760 So I'm inviting you to my exclusive party, you sexy bitch. 580 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,680 What an honor. 581 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,520 And you can bring your second best friend, Moe, too. 582 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:39,880 See ya soon. 583 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:58,280 So a party. 584 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,400 What do we do? 585 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,160 Act natural. 586 00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,040 And dance like this. 587 00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:07,200 Twerk it out. 588 00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:09,160 Hey. 589 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,120 A drink to ease your pain, Fern. 590 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:12,680 And one for you, Moe. 591 00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:14,440 I don't drink and I have practice tomorrow. 592 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:18,240 To Robert, the only boy who ever loved you. 593 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,200 Sinner! 594 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,200 Screw it. 595 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:35,560 I don't think. 596 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,640 We're killing this handle! 597 00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,480 Wait. No, no, no, Fern, Fern, Fern. 598 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,520 I'm in. 599 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,560 My God, blood! 600 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:03,760 My God! 601 00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:12,560 I told you she was weird! 602 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:14,920 Fern? 603 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,120 My God, are you okay? 604 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:17,920 Do you need to go to the hospital? 605 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:19,720 I had too much to drink. 606 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:20,680 Is there a toilet? 607 00:39:20,720 --> 00:39:21,640 Okay. 608 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,080 What has gotten into you lately? 609 00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:24,920 What the fuck? 610 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:27,880 That'll show her. 611 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,560 Our first time was supposed to be perfect 612 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,640 with trumpets and butterflies. 613 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,240 Your first time drinking? 614 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,880 No, my first time hav... 615 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,240 Fern? 616 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,760 I forgive you for ruining my party. 617 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:46,760 You're my best friend. 618 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:47,960 I'll always be here for you. 619 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,560 I will stay here all night if I have to. 620 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:51,560 Nap time. 621 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:57,160 Moe, can you, deal with this? 622 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:58,240 Okay. 623 00:39:58,280 --> 00:39:59,360 Come on, Fern. 624 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,200 Let's, Fern? 625 00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:03,400 Come on, let's get you home. 626 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:04,360 Okay. 627 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,080 59. 628 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,040 You need to cut... 629 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:25,080 Three seconds, I know. 630 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:27,880 Crazy girl. 631 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:43,520 Hey, you look down in the dumps. 632 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,320 Yeah, I'm pretty bummed about my ex. 633 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,360 Why, I mean, you'll get over her soon. 634 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,400 It's a high school relationship, it's not meant to last. 635 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,800 Like it's, it's not serious, right? 636 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,120 You know what we should do? 637 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,240 We need to get in a car, and just lean out the sun roof 638 00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,120 and let the wind blow in our face. 639 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:00,680 Just like they do in the movies. 640 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:02,560 That sounds dangerous. 641 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:05,480 Yes! 642 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,240 Look, you can go a little faster. 643 00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,720 What if Principal Almond sees us? 644 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,200 The best thing ever! 645 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:13,160 The best day ever! 646 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:17,160 Yeah! 647 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,320 Sorry, bro. 648 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,960 Stay away. 649 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,600 Marcus, is that you? 650 00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:16,360 Shit! 651 00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:43,600 Hey, Harlan. 652 00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:47,360 I just had a run in with floating scissors. 653 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,160 Leave me alone whoever you are. 654 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:52,120 Shoo. 655 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:56,680 Robert's tried to hurt Harlan... with scissors. 656 00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:58,880 I said, go away! 657 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,600 Read this, basic info on vanquishing ghosts. 658 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,320 You'll need one of these, too. 659 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,360 Don't point thing in my face. 660 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:17,360 A toy gun? 661 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,200 It might look like a toy, 662 00:43:21,240 --> 00:43:22,960 but it's your best defense against ghosts. 663 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,920 It paralyzes them temporality. 664 00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:26,440 Take these, too. 665 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,320 You take one, you see all ghosts, not just Robert. 666 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,360 Even when they don't want you to see them. 667 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:32,520 What's in this pill? 668 00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:33,400 Ghost science. 669 00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:34,400 Shut the fuck up. 670 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,400 Stop haunting my porch, Granny. 671 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,080 Fuck you, Valeria. 672 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:42,840 Fuck you, too. 673 00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:45,200 Get some sleep. 674 00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:46,720 Practice will be rough tomorrow. 675 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:47,680 I still need your help. 676 00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:49,440 I retired for a reason. 677 00:44:53,240 --> 00:45:07,800 I love you beary much. 678 00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,080 I love you beary much. 679 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:12,520 I love you-love you beary, 680 00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:19,160 I love you beary much. 681 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:27,800 I love you beary much. 682 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:30,760 What the hell were you thinking? 683 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:31,720 I was showing you how much I love you. 684 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,280 Robert, get out. 685 00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,000 I wish you'd stay dead. 686 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,960 Robert, I'm sorry that it's my fault that you died, okay? 687 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,600 Please. 688 00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:46,120 But this just can't work. 689 00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:47,080 It's not that you're dead. 690 00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:48,680 It's that I'm alive. 691 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,920 I just wanted things to be the way that they were. 692 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,160 I'll stay outta your hair. 693 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,800 The living toddle on, begin their lives anew, 694 00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,080 but we remain alone. 695 00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:28,000 My husband bequeathed his love to a new wife 696 00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:30,080 and they lived happily ever after. 697 00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,880 How I wish my husband could've passed when I did. 698 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:35,960 We could have spent the afterlife together. 699 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:38,960 Forever. 700 00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:45,680 "It's not that you're dead, it's that I'm alive." 701 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:49,960 What was that, Mister Robert? 702 00:46:56,760 --> 00:47:00,680 I wish I had a boyfriend who would go to town on me... 703 00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:01,680 with gifts like these. 704 00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:04,720 Besides you, Jesus. 705 00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:06,400 I wish I could find a guy like you. 706 00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:07,720 So let me get this straight. 707 00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,600 Robert comes back as a ghost. 708 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,320 So ghosts are real now, cool. 709 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,240 He comes to dinner with us. 710 00:47:15,240 --> 00:47:16,960 He listens to me talk about my sock puppet startup, 711 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:18,880 which, by the way, failed 712 00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,360 because Kickstarter took all my money. 713 00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:21,160 It's a really a fucked up system. 714 00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:22,000 Kelsey? 715 00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:23,080 Sorry. 716 00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:24,680 You guys ready? 717 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:30,160 My entire conception of reality has been shattered, but, yeah. 718 00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,120 Yes! 719 00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:41,200 My God, you got into MIT? 720 00:47:41,240 --> 00:47:43,120 Yeah, they sent out most of their acceptances today. 721 00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:45,160 Got in MIT. 722 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:46,120 Congrats, Larry. 723 00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:47,720 Dude, how many people did you have to bang 724 00:47:47,720 --> 00:47:48,840 to get in there? Congrats, Larry. 725 00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:49,840 That's my boy. 726 00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:50,760 Yes! 727 00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:52,520 Thanks, thanks, thank you. 728 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:53,480 You're kinda hot. 729 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:54,800 That's my boy. 730 00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:56,320 I'm proud of this man. 731 00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:57,400 Thanks, thanks. 732 00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:58,400 Hey, congratulations. 733 00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:00,440 58! 734 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:02,960 If you want the MIT to notice you... 735 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,240 I need to drop my time down to 56. 736 00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:05,480 I know. 737 00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,200 That scout's going to be like, "Who's that skinny white girl?" 738 00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:11,560 and I'm gonna be like, "Its Fern, bitches." 739 00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,040 Cute. 740 00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:14,760 Did you vanquish Robert? 741 00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:16,520 He vanquished himself. 742 00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,200 We're goin' out for the evening, honey. 743 00:48:26,240 --> 00:48:28,120 We're going to a hookah bar. 744 00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,040 Aren't you guys a little old for that? 745 00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:31,160 No. 746 00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:32,840 As long as I can have a beer. 747 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:34,000 You can have a beer 748 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:35,680 and you're gonna try the hookah this time. 749 00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:36,880 No. 750 00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:37,760 You promised me. 751 00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:38,840 I know. 752 00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:15,160 Robert, get out! 753 00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:16,160 I said that we were over. 754 00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,040 Yeah, because you're alive. 755 00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:18,960 I get it. 756 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,960 I'll be with you the entire time. 757 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:27,440 All you have to do is make a small slice up your arm. 758 00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:29,800 It'll be worth it. 759 00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:32,400 Fern Petersen... 760 00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:37,520 will you die for me? 761 00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:44,200 Kelsey! Kelsey! 762 00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:45,760 Kelsey, get back to bed. 763 00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:46,920 Shush, Dean. 764 00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:47,800 What? Hey. 765 00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,480 Hey, sis, what's goin' on? 766 00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:50,680 Robert's trying to kill me. 767 00:49:50,720 --> 00:49:51,680 What? 768 00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:56,640 Get a weapon. 769 00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,360 Take one. 770 00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:07,240 This is Valeria, don't have time for your shit. 771 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:08,920 Bye. 772 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,040 Valeria, Robert's in my house trying to kill me. 773 00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:12,080 And any help would be enormously fucking appreciated. 774 00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:15,440 Come on. 775 00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:25,120 Fuck, you're still here. 776 00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:27,040 Babe, I came up with a safe word. 777 00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,920 Yeah, look who finally decided to join in. 778 00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:31,240 Pow, pow, pow, pow. 779 00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:32,080 Hey, come here, Fern! 780 00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:33,880 You are disgusting! 781 00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:35,560 You asshole! 782 00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:38,960 Octopus! 783 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,600 Yeah. 784 00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:43,240 No, you're not supposed to fucking like it. 785 00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:44,680 We are over! 786 00:50:44,720 --> 00:50:46,480 I love you beary much. 787 00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:47,400 What the hell was that? 788 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:48,360 You are beary special. 789 00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,480 I love you, I love you beary much. 790 00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:04,440 I love you beary much. 791 00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:08,320 I love you beary much. 792 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:09,400 Shit! 793 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,000 What is that? What is that? 794 00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:12,080 My God! 795 00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:13,480 What the fuck is up with that? 796 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:19,000 Fern, I brought you a load of goodies 797 00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,000 for your meet tomorrow. 798 00:51:22,240 --> 00:51:24,520 I love you beary much. 799 00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:25,640 That's not good! 800 00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:27,520 That's not good! That's not good! 801 00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:28,920 -I love you beary much. -Fuck, Fern! 802 00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:31,200 Fuck! 803 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:35,440 Fuck! 804 00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:40,960 You're a heartbreaking witch, Fern Petersen! 805 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:41,840 Kelsey! 806 00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,200 No! 807 00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:45,680 Bitch! 808 00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:46,960 Who are you hitting? 809 00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:51,400 I love you beary much. 810 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:52,360 Go get them. 811 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:54,720 What the! 812 00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,240 Get off me! My God, 813 00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:57,480 I don't want to die! 814 00:51:57,480 --> 00:51:58,640 My God! 815 00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:01,280 I've never been married, I've never had kids, 816 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:04,040 I've never gotten four fingers in her. 817 00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:04,960 I love you. 818 00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:06,160 Fern, if I can't come in your front door, 819 00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:07,200 can I come in your back door? 820 00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:10,760 Okay. 821 00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:14,760 I love you beary much. 822 00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:16,480 Kelsey, before we die, 823 00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:17,480 I gotta confess, 824 00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,240 I cheated on you with the Waffle House waitress 825 00:52:19,240 --> 00:52:20,200 with the huge tits. 826 00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,080 I am glad I got that off my chest. 827 00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,360 What are those things? Are those demon bears? 828 00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:26,480 What the hell are those? 829 00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:28,240 I love you beary much. 830 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:29,080 My God. 831 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:30,040 My fucking God! 832 00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:31,760 What the fucking, fuck! 833 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:34,960 Dean! 834 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:36,520 Robert! 835 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:54,760 No, no. 836 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,160 Die, motherfucker! 837 00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:18,280 Kelsey! 838 00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:38,400 Got a band-aid? 839 00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:41,880 Here. 840 00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:45,800 Behind you. 841 00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:49,800 Get the fuck out, Robert. 842 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:53,680 I'm not scared of a water gun. 843 00:53:53,720 --> 00:53:56,320 It's a ghost laser. 844 00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:57,400 It lasers ghosts. 845 00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:58,280 Well, it's broken. 846 00:53:58,320 --> 00:53:59,240 It won't work anyways. 847 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:00,560 You sure you wanna test that? 848 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:17,320 I love you, Fern, 'til the day you die. 849 00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:26,440 Shit! 850 00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:29,120 Fuck! 851 00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:32,680 You're back. 852 00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:35,960 Kelsey. 853 00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:37,000 Dean. 854 00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:40,560 Fern. 855 00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:43,560 Wait, fuck you! 856 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:46,480 You cheated on me and still wanna sleep with my sister. 857 00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,200 No, fuck you! 858 00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,240 You got me killed! 859 00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:51,440 Dean. 860 00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,760 You were a god among men, Dean. 861 00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:59,880 I'm leavin' and I'm taking my flawless body with me. 862 00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:00,760 Fine! 863 00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:02,800 Come on let's go, Dean. 864 00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,520 She doesn't deserve you. 865 00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:07,400 I can't believe I almost married him. 866 00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,160 I should really rethink my life. 867 00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:13,960 Also, I can't feel my hands. 868 00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:15,200 Is that normal? 869 00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:17,080 No, that's not normal at all. 870 00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:18,000 God. 871 00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:23,120 Hey, Fern, I've been wait... 872 00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:27,640 Kelsey got bit by a raccoon? 873 00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:29,560 Poor animal regulation. 874 00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,280 It's a citywide problem. 875 00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:32,480 Okay. 876 00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:35,440 I love you, Kelsey. 877 00:55:35,480 --> 00:55:37,400 I love you too, Fern. 878 00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,600 Fern, I found this in Kelsey's room. 879 00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,200 I think he's going to the track meet tomorrow night. 880 00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:00,200 I don't know why Robert would do this, I mean, 881 00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:04,160 I don't know why anyone would do this, but it's pretty messed up. 882 00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:16,520 When he said he loved me, he must have been lying. 883 00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:21,560 If someone loves you, 884 00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:23,560 even if it's for only five fucking seconds, 885 00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:25,920 they wouldn't do this, right? 886 00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:30,960 Damn it. 887 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:37,520 Wherever I go he'll find me. 888 00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:41,320 He'll kill Kelsey, he'll hurt you. 889 00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,600 I'll be dead for an eternity with a bastard who'd rather 890 00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,320 kill me than see me happy. 891 00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:55,040 How could God let this happen? 892 00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,040 What are we gonna do, Fern? 893 00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:09,120 She will die for you, Mister Robert. 894 00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:11,480 You're already dead. 895 00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:14,040 What do you have to lose? 896 00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:21,000 If I'm not meant to be her one and only... 897 00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:25,640 I'll make it that way. 898 00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:28,440 Did you get my message? 899 00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:30,360 I'm leaving, Fern. 900 00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:31,160 I came to this town to start a new life, 901 00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:32,280 not to do this ghost-hunting shit. 902 00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,760 But, Coach, I need you, the track meet is tomorrow. 903 00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:38,200 Once love ghosts go down this path, they're unstoppable. 904 00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,000 What am I supposed to do, roll over and die? 905 00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,720 Fern, when I was your age, I was in a car accident. 906 00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:46,000 The car accident killed my mother and my granny. 907 00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:48,640 They came back as love ghosts. 908 00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,480 And at first, we were so happy. 909 00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,200 And then they tried to make me join them. 910 00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:00,120 I vanquished my own mother. 911 00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:13,960 And to this day my granny haunts me, bitter and alone. 912 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:16,840 Love ghosts can only be vanquished if they know 913 00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:18,440 you don't love them anymore. 914 00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:20,360 But they can delude themselves to believe anything. 915 00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:25,160 And it's damn hard to stop loving someone, 916 00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:26,920 no matter what they do to you. 917 00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:30,040 Coach, you can't leave me here. 918 00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:31,080 I'm sorry, Fern. 919 00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:16,000 Fern. 920 00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:16,920 Come on, honey. 921 00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:23,120 We know you're still upset about Robert's death 922 00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:26,560 and about Kelsey's neck. 923 00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:28,360 You know when I lost my best buddy in 'Nam, 924 00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:30,520 I didn't want to leave my bunk for weeks. 925 00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:36,040 Hey, Fern, you know what a SNAFU is? 926 00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:39,280 Situation Normal All Fucked Up. 927 00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,920 Tell her about the, FUPA? 928 00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:42,880 N-no, FUBAR. 929 00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:43,760 Right. 930 00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:44,440 Fucked up. 931 00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:45,760 Beyond all repair. 932 00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:46,840 Yeah. 933 00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:48,520 Hey, you know what you gotta do? 934 00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:52,360 You gotta get up, and win one for the Gipper. 935 00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:53,440 Right? 936 00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:54,440 You know who the Gipper is, don't you? 937 00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:55,680 Yeah, Dad, it's Reagan, 938 00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:56,440 I know. 939 00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:57,720 That's right. 940 00:59:57,760 --> 00:59:59,160 Come on. 941 01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:37,000 Mom? 942 01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:38,560 Dad? 943 01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:40,360 I have something to tell you. 944 01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:02,440 Robert, I hate you. 945 01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:05,640 Robert, I hate you! 946 01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:11,200 I'll never love you, Robert. 947 01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:14,360 Perfect. 948 01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:18,800 Robert, you're controlling, you're selfish. 949 01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:20,680 Even if I can't kill you tonight, 950 01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:21,960 you won't win your race, 951 01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:23,480 you won't go to MIT. 952 01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:26,360 You'll stay here with me. 953 01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:28,760 You still love me, 954 01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:31,400 I know you do. 955 01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:34,400 Go to hell, Robert Klingher. 956 01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,000 Is this the ice cream social... 957 01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:47,560 for the newly deads? 958 01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:48,880 No, we're killin' someone. 959 01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:50,560 Shit! 960 01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:52,360 That is fucked up! 961 01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:07,720 Welcome to the fifth annual Patrick Moore Invitational. 962 01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:09,640 If you're driving a red Toyota Corolla, 963 01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:10,880 you are parked in a reserved space. 964 01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,040 Please move your vehicle before it is towed. 965 01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:14,880 Concessions are available below the bleachers... Hey, Moe. 966 01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:16,480 Hey. 967 01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:17,800 Is that the MIT scout? 968 01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:19,240 I think it is. 969 01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:27,880 The 400 meter dash will begin 970 01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:30,320 after a poignant message from Senior Class President, 971 01:02:30,360 --> 01:02:31,960 Jenny Bernstein. 972 01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:33,200 What the hell? 973 01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:42,760 The Student Council has renamed this meet 974 01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:47,600 after our dear friend, Robert, who died horribly, 975 01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:51,440 all because he loved his girlfriend, Fern Petersen, 976 01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:53,800 my best friend. 977 01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:55,000 Hi, Fern. 978 01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:58,000 Robert would watch Fern run on this very track. 979 01:02:58,040 --> 01:03:00,080 Occasionally, he would glance at me, 980 01:03:00,120 --> 01:03:02,800 but he always remained faithful. 981 01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:05,320 He truly was a martyr. 982 01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:06,800 All proceeds from this meet go to the 983 01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:10,120 Robert Klingher Memorial Fund for Beheaded Youth. 984 01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:16,320 2.6 American youths are beheaded each year. 985 01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:19,160 And we think that's wrong. 986 01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:22,200 Robert, we dedicate this meet to your memory. 987 01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:25,760 That was a good speech. 988 01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:32,360 Thank you, Jenny Bernstein. 989 01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:34,400 You truly are a blessing to Patrick Moore High. 990 01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:48,040 Running for St. Johns High, Kat Ashman. 991 01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:48,960 Running for Penn Charter... 992 01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:49,720 Get ready. 993 01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:51,400 Is Laura Kura. 994 01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:54,280 Running for Tammel Price High is Eric Lieberman. 995 01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:57,160 Representing Patrick Moore High is school record holder 996 01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:58,400 Fern Peterson. 997 01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:00,960 Runners to your marks! 998 01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:32,800 That is Fern Petersen of Patrick Moore High, 999 01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:34,520 neck and neck for the lead. 1000 01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:41,880 That's Fern Petersen in the lead and she's carrying 1001 01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:42,640 a water gun. 1002 01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:43,720 Ya! 1003 01:04:43,760 --> 01:04:45,520 Fern Petersen has tripped. 1004 01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:47,560 What is Fern Petersen doing? 1005 01:04:59,960 --> 01:05:02,560 Lacey Jackson of Spring Tree High wins first place. 1006 01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:04,520 First Battalion, assemble! 1007 01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:07,400 Take it in the mouth and swallow. 1008 01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:09,560 Kelsey, crowd control. 1009 01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:14,440 Shit. 1010 01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:26,840 Okay, people, nothin' to see here, 1011 01:05:26,880 --> 01:05:29,680 just a group of people puttin' on a show, 1012 01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:32,560 an innocent, little show. 1013 01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:33,600 Rushing the field is not permitted. 1014 01:05:33,640 --> 01:05:35,080 Please stay in your seats. 1015 01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:53,480 Eskimo! 1016 01:05:57,680 --> 01:06:00,040 Fern, I love you. 1017 01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:05,320 What you're seeing is a-a play. 1018 01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:07,880 Very experimental piece. 1019 01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:09,160 Very avant-garde. 1020 01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:10,120 Fern's my best friend. 1021 01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:11,840 I have to go help her. 1022 01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,000 She's such a good person. 1023 01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:15,560 Best friend, I'm coming for you. 1024 01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:16,720 No, no, no! 1025 01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:19,240 No, you dumb ho, get back here! 1026 01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:29,800 Best friend, what are you doing? 1027 01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:37,520 My God! 1028 01:06:38,520 --> 01:06:39,400 Jenny! 1029 01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:40,520 Where's your hand? 1030 01:06:40,520 --> 01:06:44,320 That was 1031 01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:47,000 someone call 911, actually, 'cause that was real. 1032 01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:50,360 Love always prevails. 1033 01:06:52,400 --> 01:06:53,960 Back away from Fern! 1034 01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:02,840 I'm back, mother fuckers. 1035 01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:06,280 Hogwash! 1036 01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:14,920 Back off! 1037 01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,520 Why don't you love me? 1038 01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:36,960 Thanks. 1039 01:07:37,960 --> 01:07:38,920 No problem. 1040 01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:45,040 Do it now, Fern! 1041 01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:54,440 Robert, I don't love you. 1042 01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:57,160 What? 1043 01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,120 I don't love you. I don't love you. 1044 01:07:58,160 --> 01:07:59,560 I don't love you. Stop. 1045 01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:01,000 I don't love you. 1046 01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:02,120 I don't love you. Stop. 1047 01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:08,640 I don't love you. 1048 01:08:16,880 --> 01:08:21,280 This is all perfectly explicable by the rules of science. 1049 01:08:24,440 --> 01:08:26,040 I did this for you, Fern. 1050 01:08:27,240 --> 01:08:29,320 We could've been perfect. 1051 01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:31,880 Relationships are never perfect. 1052 01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:35,880 You were my first love, Robert. 1053 01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:37,840 But people change and maybe we could've been happy together, 1054 01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:41,480 but that's not what happened. 1055 01:08:46,440 --> 01:08:48,160 I'll be all alone up there. 1056 01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:49,280 No, you won't. 1057 01:08:50,440 --> 01:08:54,200 You could woo Joan of Arc, you could date Amelia Earhart. 1058 01:08:55,280 --> 01:08:58,120 There's someone up there for you, but it's not me. 1059 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,760 And you have to let go, Robert. 1060 01:09:04,680 --> 01:09:06,280 Fern, I'm sorry... 1061 01:09:08,200 --> 01:09:09,320 for everything. 1062 01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:14,320 When you remember me, 1063 01:09:14,360 --> 01:09:15,400 can you try to remember the good times? 1064 01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:19,080 Whenever you can? 1065 01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:21,960 If you can? 1066 01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:05,240 Thank you, everyone, and goodnight. 1067 01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:07,240 The track meet has been canceled 1068 01:10:07,280 --> 01:10:09,640 due to unexpected cosmic activity. 1069 01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:10,760 Can someone get my legs? 1070 01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:14,880 Have a lovely evening. 1071 01:10:14,920 --> 01:10:16,320 Thank you for coming. 1072 01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:18,600 And we'll call it the 1073 01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:21,480 Jenny Bernstein Memorial Foundation for Behanded Youth. 1074 01:10:21,480 --> 01:10:23,360 Suck a dick, Georgia. 1075 01:10:25,280 --> 01:10:26,920 That was nuts. 1076 01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:28,880 Jenny got her hand cut off 1077 01:10:28,920 --> 01:10:31,000 and-and what-what was that in the sky? 1078 01:10:31,040 --> 01:10:33,120 It was a portal from another dimension. 1079 01:10:33,160 --> 01:10:35,840 Cool, yeah, okay. 1080 01:10:35,880 --> 01:10:36,560 Hey, dude, Fern? 1081 01:10:36,600 --> 01:10:38,000 She wants your D. 1082 01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:39,760 -Thanks, Marcus. -Yeah, you're good, you're good. 1083 01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:41,440 All right, cool. 1084 01:10:41,480 --> 01:10:43,640 Well, I'm just gonna to stretch 'cause, you know, game day. 1085 01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:51,320 Shit. 1086 01:10:55,760 --> 01:10:57,000 Fern Petersen? 1087 01:10:58,600 --> 01:11:00,880 I'm Abigail Hillstone, recruiter for MIT. 1088 01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:02,680 Hi, I'm sorry... 1089 01:11:02,720 --> 01:11:04,440 Take this. 1090 01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:06,440 That's my husband's card. 1091 01:11:06,440 --> 01:11:07,680 He's a psychiatrist. 1092 01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:10,320 I'm sure he can help you and your friends. 1093 01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:17,080 Fern, are you okay? 1094 01:11:17,120 --> 01:11:18,120 Yeah. 1095 01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:22,560 And I got a contact, sort of. 1096 01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:26,720 Let's get the fuck out of here. 1097 01:11:34,200 --> 01:11:35,200 You did good, kid. 1098 01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:37,280 Sorry about MIT. 1099 01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:38,400 Side hug. 1100 01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:42,800 You have blood all over you. 1101 01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:44,000 Shut up. 1102 01:11:48,080 --> 01:11:49,760 See you at practice. 1103 01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:00,560 Gross. 1104 01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:04,120 I'm damn proud of you, Kelsey. 1105 01:12:04,160 --> 01:12:05,320 Thanks, Dad. 1106 01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:06,760 I'm Fern. 1107 01:12:06,760 --> 01:12:09,800 Honey, I think you have a concussion. 1108 01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:11,560 And I'm proud of you too, Fern. 1109 01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:13,040 Thanks, Dad. 1110 01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:13,840 Mom? 1111 01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:15,520 I'm drivin'. 1112 01:12:15,560 --> 01:12:17,600 I'll catch up with you guys in a second. 1113 01:12:20,480 --> 01:12:24,280 So, I was, wondering if, 1114 01:12:24,320 --> 01:12:26,360 maybe you would like to 1115 01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:29,080 next weekend go for dinner or something? 1116 01:12:29,120 --> 01:12:30,920 I thought you were done with relationships. 1117 01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:36,800 I was. 1118 01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:42,520 Actually, I think I want to stay single, 1119 01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:43,480 like, for a while. 1120 01:12:43,520 --> 01:12:45,400 Yeah, that makes sense. 1121 01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:47,120 But we can still stay friends 1122 01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:49,400 and for right now, just chill. 1123 01:12:49,440 --> 01:12:51,400 I mean, you think that's gonna work out? 1124 01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:55,720 I have no idea.