1 00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:16,474 He one of the OGs, one of the all-time greats. 2 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,351 He can make you laugh with a look. 3 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:23,732 He is a legend in the stand-up game. 4 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,316 Yes. 5 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:30,572 He's so good. He's completely unique. I love the guy. 6 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:34,701 The hardest gig I ever did was following Cedric the Entertainer 7 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:37,370 on New Year's Eve in Oakland. 8 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,123 Talented, gifted, naturally funny. 9 00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,083 As good as it gets. 10 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:50,049 Give it up for the Tennessee State marching band! 11 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,732 ♪ Give it up for Ced, Cedric ♪ 12 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,692 - ♪ Give it up for Ced ♪ - ♪ Cedric ♪ 13 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:10,236 ♪ Give it up for Ced, Cedric ♪ 14 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,238 ♪ The Entertainer ♪ 15 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:15,742 - ♪ Ced, Cedric ♪ - ♪ Give it up for Ced, Cedric ♪ 16 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,744 ♪ Give it up for Ced, Cedric ♪ 17 00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:20,914 - ♪ Give it up for Ced ♪ - ♪ The Entertainer ♪ 18 00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:23,291 - ♪ Ced, Cedric ♪ - ♪ Give it up for Ced ♪ 19 00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:25,293 - ♪ Cedric ♪ - ♪ Give it up for Ced ♪ 20 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:29,088 - ♪ Cedric ♪ - ♪ The Entertainer ♪ 21 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,645 Ladies and gentlemen, 22 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:47,190 Cedric the Entertainer! 23 00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:20,223 Wassup? 24 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,936 Nashville. 25 00:02:25,019 --> 00:02:26,896 Cashville. 26 00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:30,942 What up, y'all? 27 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:35,655 Yay! 28 00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:39,117 Yeah, man. 29 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,244 Hey, how y'all doing? 30 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,164 I feel y'all. Go and have a seat. 31 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:46,082 How y'all doing, man? 32 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:51,254 Y'all gotta give up for that TSU band. Let 'em hear it. 33 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,928 That shit wore me out. 34 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,640 I only did the last two minutes of the dance. 35 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:06,019 I'm-a-be like this. 36 00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:07,645 They let you know, boy. 37 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,064 Gotta get in shape, man. 38 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,693 Try to do it. I'm gonna be breathing, with an "F." 39 00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:17,238 I had a "bref," my "bref" was... 40 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,949 Oh, my "bref." 41 00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:26,623 Man, I see y'all too, looking good. What up? 42 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,544 Laid up in here too, I saw. 43 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:35,632 Player with all white on, I see you, pimp. You know it. 44 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,968 Any of you know how to eat barbecue like this? 45 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,147 Tell your mama Rufus stopped by. 46 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,819 Look at this, man. 47 00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:00,114 It's good. 48 00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:04,118 I was joking about getting in shape, but that shit is real. You gotta do that. 49 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,996 That's the latest thing. Everybody gotta lose weight. 50 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,917 I got all the equipment at my house. I don't do none of it. 51 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,212 I got everything you can order on the infomercial. 52 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:17,548 I got so much equipment, my neighbors come and work out. 53 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:20,969 I got my own... sell my own gym membership. "Y'all come in. 54 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:25,014 There's some towels, cucumber water. Go on, enjoy yourself, John. 55 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:29,227 I ain't using none of that shit. Go on in." 56 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,730 Gotta try to do it. I had to do something. 57 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:36,150 I'm walking down the street. This lady sees me, a little white lady. 58 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,903 She got a little daughter. She sees me. "Oh, my God. 59 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:42,949 I can't believe it's you. Can we take a picture?" "Of course!" 60 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:45,326 She talking about, "Thank you, CeeLo!" 61 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,002 C-CeeLo? 62 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:57,755 Uh, bitch... ♪ Fuck you! ♪ 63 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,675 And little girl... ♪ Fuck you too! ♪ 64 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:03,469 I ain't no goddamn CeeLo. 65 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,596 Shit. 66 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:11,686 I walked right into a cycling class, nigga. 67 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,944 Shit, man. 68 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,864 I gotta do something. Everybody losin' weight in Hollywood. 69 00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:26,200 All my partners. Ain't nobody call me and tell me nothing. 70 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:30,288 I'm like the last fat brother in Hollywood. 71 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:33,458 Anthony Anderson lost weight. He ain't called me to tell me. 72 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:35,793 Rick Ross lost weight. 73 00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:37,837 The Boss, he's... 74 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,256 He all skinny as hell, like, "Eh." 75 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,345 Al Roker, Al Sharpton. 76 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:50,141 You know, Al Sharpton lost too much goddamn weight though. 77 00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:52,310 Al Sharpton lost neck weight. 78 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,731 His head look like a damn bobblehead. 79 00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:03,738 Like Al, you can't lose neck weight. 80 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:06,866 You can't have no perm and no little-ass neck like that. 81 00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:11,954 That combination don't go together, Al, is what I'm trying to say. 82 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,209 Come out here feeling good, man. 83 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,127 Lookin' good. Everybody all spiffy. 84 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,712 - Whoo! - I like that. 85 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,131 I like to get G'd up. We from that... 86 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,801 - We from that generation. - Yeah! 87 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,095 I notice how the new kids are dressing. 88 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:30,598 They ain't really give a shit about clothes no more. 89 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,309 They don't really give a shit. Especially boys. 90 00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:36,354 The thing is, I ain't trying to say they style is... 91 00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:41,359 It's for their generation, don't get me wrong, but it's a little asexual. 92 00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:45,113 All the little long-ass T-shirts niggas is wearing now. 93 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:48,908 One little boy, his shirt was so long, he had a train on the back. 94 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,621 I'm like, "Where's the reception, motherfucker? Shit." 95 00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,253 I think it started with skinny jeans. 96 00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:02,505 You know what I mean. 97 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,924 The jegging kind, the real super-skinny ones. 98 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:08,261 I ain't trying to say skinny jeans gay. I don't know that to be true. 99 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:10,638 What I'm sayin' is, it's a gateway apparel. 100 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:16,436 It leads to other gay articles of clothing is what I'm saying. 101 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:20,898 'Cause there ain't no time should a dude ever be putting their jeans on like this. 102 00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:25,820 Never! 103 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,947 Ever. 104 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:35,997 Sagging. That shit went too far. I used to get sagging. 105 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,999 When it first came out, I understood it, 106 00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:42,462 because that's when new designer underwear came on the scene. 107 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,923 So you want to let somebody know that he Tommy Hilfiger, that he Gucci. 108 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:50,052 "Look, these ain't no regular Fruit of the Looms is what I got on." 109 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,637 I got that. 110 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,808 Now these dudes got they pants all up under they ass and shit. 111 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,311 I saw one little boy, didn't have his pants on. 112 00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:01,063 That nigga had his shit on his shoulders. 113 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:09,030 "It's that new, Ced. We don't even wear our shit no more, man. 114 00:08:09,113 --> 00:08:12,658 We just carry it with us in case we gotta run in somewhere, man." 115 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,581 It's a trip, man. 116 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,083 They music has changed too, boy. That young music. 117 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:25,129 I like rap, all kinds of rap, but rap got so aggressive now, man. 118 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:28,591 Like when we came up, it used to be sexual innuendo. 119 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:32,803 They might be talkin' about something. You had to figure it out. "Oh, okay." 120 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:36,098 Y'all heard "Down in the DM"? They ain't got time for that shit. 121 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:40,895 ♪ It go down in the DM, it go down It go down in the DM, it go down ♪ 122 00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:42,480 ♪ Snapchat me that pussy ♪ 123 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,608 Oh, whoa! Whoa! 124 00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,902 Ooh, Jesus. 125 00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:51,113 ♪ Or FaceTime me that pussy if it's cool ♪ 126 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:57,119 What did they... 127 00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,581 On the record? That's on the radio right now. 128 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:03,334 When I first heard it, I ain't know what Snapchat was. 129 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:05,962 I thought he said, "Snatch at me that pussy." 130 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,214 I said that is pretty aggressive 131 00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:11,050 with all this Bill Cosby stuff goin' on right now. 132 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:15,638 I don't think you wanna be snatching at nobody's pussy like that now." 133 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,849 They were like, "No, Ced, it's Snapchat. It's Snapchat." 134 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,435 That's an app. I don't know if y'all know this. 135 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,522 That's a little app. It's what all the kids on right now. 136 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:27,358 And you can take a picture of your pussy, now, okay? 137 00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:32,405 And you can put it up on the Internet, and it will disappear like a snowflake. 138 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,240 Okay? It will be gone. 139 00:09:34,323 --> 00:09:37,618 So whenever you bored and you just feel like doin' something... 140 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,829 Snapchat your pussy on out there! 141 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,748 Snapchat your pussy. All the way. 142 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:47,003 It's fine. I ain't know what it was. 143 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:50,756 Soon as I heard you can do that shit, I downloaded that app immediately. 144 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:55,845 I would be ridin' around in my car, lookin' at the app now and then. 145 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,806 Ain't nobody Snapchat on mine. I ain't got no... 146 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:02,685 I don't know how this work. Don't nobody put none on mine. 147 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,106 "Snapchat me that pussy." 148 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:11,277 All they little songs. I like all rap. 149 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,363 Fetty Wap. That's another rapper had a big hit. Fetty Wap. 150 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:18,367 Big rapper. Y'all know Fetty Wap. That's the rapper with one eye. 151 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,579 Fetty Wap had a little accident earlier in the year 152 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,581 where he was on a motorcycle. 153 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:26,667 And I was thinkin' to myself, "You know what, Fetty Wap? 154 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,879 Uh..." 155 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,256 "Your head got one eye. 156 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,842 You might not wanna be on no goddamn motorcycle. 157 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:40,139 You gotta have your peripheral when you on a goddamn motorcycle. 158 00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:45,436 You can't turn all way left, nigga, every time you tryin' to turn. 159 00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:48,731 Stay off goddamn motorcycles, okay? With love." 160 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:56,322 But he dope though. I like him 'cause he got a melodic kind of rap style. 161 00:10:56,405 --> 00:11:00,993 It's got melody to it, but out of nowhere, it'll turn into some gangsta shit. 162 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:04,789 So it be a love song, and then out of nowhere, it be a tragedy. 163 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:07,833 So it like a Fetty Wapera, if you will. 164 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:12,797 Fetty Wap be like, ♪ Baby, won't you come my way ♪ 165 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:17,176 ♪ Tell me what you want to say ♪ 166 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:18,427 ♪ But first off ♪ 167 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,097 ♪ I'm gonna start by saying this: Ay ♪ 168 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:24,975 ♪ Two head shots if you try to take my bitch ♪ 169 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,019 Like, whoa! 170 00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,231 Whoa, what just happened there? You know. 171 00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:34,026 That is mighty aggressive, Fetty Wap. 172 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,278 I just saying she looked nice in her dress. 173 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:40,533 I don't think I deserve two shots in the damn head for that, you know. 174 00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:44,620 I don't think the crime fits the punishment. 175 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,625 Even the girls are aggressive. 176 00:11:49,708 --> 00:11:53,045 I heard the most aggressive language I've heard in a record this year came 177 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:57,174 from a little girl. I'm riding in the car with my 12-year-old daughter. 178 00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:58,759 She's singing along. 179 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:03,055 All of a sudden, this girl say the most craziest shit I ever heard in a song. 180 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:07,476 She like, ♪ You gotta eat the booty like groceries ♪ Now wait. 181 00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:12,940 What? Ooh, Lord, where's Yolanda Adams when you need her? 182 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,862 "You gotta eat the booty like groceries"? 183 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:23,242 Don't get me wrong, I'm over 40, so I'm willing to participate 184 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,660 is what I'm saying... 185 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:29,623 I just need to know how much groceries we talkin' about right now. 186 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:32,918 Is it ten items or less or... 187 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:36,464 Or are we talking Costco's, now, 'cause I think... 188 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,966 Somebody yell up here, "Come on, help me with the groceries!" 189 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,760 That's too much goddamn groceries. I can't... 190 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,305 I can't eat that much groceries. 191 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,683 All these little songs, man. 192 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:52,354 They got songs that be making dudes... gotta get your manhood together. 193 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:56,358 Like Rihanna little song. I turn that off every time it come on. I can't listen. 194 00:12:56,442 --> 00:13:00,154 'Cause it make you do some bullshit. You a grown man. You came here. 195 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:02,698 ♪ Let me see you work, work, work, work, work ♪ 196 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:08,037 Why the fuck am I doin' this right now? 197 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:10,831 Unh-unh. 198 00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,960 Rihanna always got songs like that. She always tripping. 199 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:18,214 'Cause her other song last year was a scary song to me. 200 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,299 ♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪ 201 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:26,347 ♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪ 202 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:29,350 I'm like, "Is she a little witch? What the hell is she doing?" 203 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,101 Scary-ass little song. 204 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,647 ♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪ I ain't like that song. 205 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,650 That song scares me. I live out in the mountains. 206 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:40,528 I came home one night and our lights was off at the house. 207 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:44,323 Right when I was parking to go in, that song came on. 208 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,159 ♪ Shine bright like a diamond ♪ 209 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:50,663 I think I'll stay in the car till morning. I was like, "Unh-unh. 210 00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:54,792 No, this how a motherfucker get killed. I ain't ready to get out the damn car." 211 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,794 Scary-ass song. 212 00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:02,007 Beyoncé, she another one. She's been killing the game. 213 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,177 Everybody know the Lemonade shit. 214 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:08,889 Look at the ladies, ladies get it. Dudes like, "I don't get it." 215 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,975 Lemonade got too much tea in it for me. 216 00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:13,352 She telling too much of her goddamn business. 217 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:17,565 Thing is, you know, she's just dope like that though. 218 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:21,360 Beyoncé, she kinda got like songs that's always empowerment. 219 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,904 She do make people mad one way or the other. 220 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:27,116 She made me mad when she had that song about the elevator, 221 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:30,202 when she talking about Jay Z and Solange fighting on the elevator. 222 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:34,498 I was mad 'cause she was goin' all off about the elevator shit. 223 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:40,379 When I think about it, it's been a couple of hard years for elevators in general. 224 00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:45,259 I just don't trust elevators the way I used to. 225 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:49,263 You remember, the whole Ray Rice shit... that happened on the elevator. 226 00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:52,808 Then Beyoncé and Solange, they was lookin' for Jay Z on the elevator. 227 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,311 And I was checkin' into the hotel today, 228 00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,355 the manager asks me, "We got you in the best room on the top floor." 229 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,316 I said, "Oh, no. 230 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:04,904 No, no. What y'all got by the gift shop, my nigga? I ain't trying... 231 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:08,407 I ain't tryin' to go up no goddamn elevator. 232 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,034 I already know 233 00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,995 what happens in elevators, and I ain't goin' up on one." 234 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,919 Beyoncé cool. She dope with it though. That's the thing about it. 235 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:24,340 She be writing all these women empowerment songs that be so beautiful. 236 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,926 She talented, she sexy, she good to look at. 237 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:30,512 That's why she confuse dudes, 'cause we like lookin' at her, 238 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:33,682 but then her songs be dope, and they be good songs. 239 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,602 You be, "Man, we ain't supposed to be singing this part." 240 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,481 But she will have you out there, you know? 241 00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:43,776 Like now, if I went... ♪ We be all night ♪ 242 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:48,864 There better not be one dude in this motherfucker talkin' about... 243 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,245 Nigga, that ain't your part, player. 244 00:15:56,830 --> 00:16:00,000 You cannot... 245 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:04,797 You gotta wait on Jay Z like everybody else. 246 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,092 ♪ I do think up this shit, if I do say so myself ♪ 247 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,803 That's us. That's where we come in. 248 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:14,932 We cannot... 249 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:18,978 The trip is that nowadays, certain shit be gay, we didn't even know it. 250 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:22,690 You be, "That's gay now?" "Yeah, that's gay. You can't do that no more." 251 00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:26,902 Little shit like, dudes, you can't be talkin' to another dude on the phone 252 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,696 and hung up talkin' about "bye-bye." 253 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,036 That's gay, man. 254 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,123 We can't say "bye-bye" to another dude, dawg. 255 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,335 Trip, man. Being a father... 256 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:48,215 And I was talkin' about all the young kids with their communicating right there. 257 00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:50,259 'Cause I've been married 16 years, man. 258 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:54,013 I been trying. My wife still be tryin' to keep a hot thing, yeah. 259 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,975 My baby, she a good babe too. 260 00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,977 We be tryin' to keep the shit fresh. 261 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:04,189 So I be tryin' to do the Snapchat, and the keep it sexy, you know. 262 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,525 I tried sexting, that's what I tried to do. 263 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:11,405 I want sex. I'm on my way home one day. "Hey, girl. Daddy 'bout to pull up." 264 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:16,285 "I might wanna dot, dot, dot, dot, dot." 265 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,870 You know? 266 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:20,205 She go text me back, "Pick up some bread." 267 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:27,129 You know what? 268 00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:30,215 You ain't put no water splash emoji on there or nothing. 269 00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:33,343 Just "get some goddamn bread." Really? 270 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,598 Trying, man. 271 00:17:37,681 --> 00:17:39,475 We trying to raise these kids. 272 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:42,019 We got all the generations. I got three kids. 273 00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:44,396 I got one kid, 26. 274 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,399 She was in college a couple years. She fuck around. 275 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,735 Fuck around. You know. 276 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:53,405 Bullshit. You in college. Bullshit. C's, D's. She wasn't serious. 277 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,991 Because she my daughter, she expect to ball though. 278 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,161 She wanna ball out. She gonna hit me up the other day, 279 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,497 "Daddy, would you buy me the new Camaro?" 280 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:05,084 I'm like, "What?" "Yeah, I want you to get me the new Camaro." 281 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:10,214 "The new Camaro? You know, that's more like A-student shit right there." 282 00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:15,677 You more like used Hyundai or something like that, 283 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,597 the area you in. 284 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,766 What I supposed to put on my bumper sticker? 285 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:24,186 "My daughter doin' a'ight, nigga." 286 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:27,314 "CSU? Nigga, no." 287 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:32,444 Get you one of them hoverboards, you can go to the club in one of them. 288 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,745 "Pull up, goddamn." 289 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,086 My son, 15. 290 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,796 Now he on the swim team. 291 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:54,007 You know, the swim... They be getting you into different kind of shape. 292 00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:57,636 All of a sudden, my son out of nowhere got all shoulders and chest. 293 00:18:57,719 --> 00:19:00,013 He walkin' in the house one day. "What up, Dad?" 294 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:04,893 I say, "Oh, no, you wanna put all that shit up when you walk in the house. 295 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,105 Put them shoulders in the closet, put your chest in the drawer." 296 00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:12,109 I ain't gonna have all this walk around my goddamn house. 297 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,324 Little bitty scrawny ass motherfucker walk around. 298 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:23,495 "What up, Dad?" "No, nigga, put all that up right now. 299 00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:27,124 Hang those shoulders on a hanger and put 'em in the closet." 300 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:32,212 See, he 15, you know, now, he try to start dating a little bit. 301 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:35,007 The thing about my son, he like the little mix girls. 302 00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:39,636 He like the girls half black, half white. Little curly hair, that's his thing. 303 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,348 He gonna go out on a date, he tell me take them to the movies. 304 00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:45,809 I'm like, "Cool." He hopped in the backseat with her. 305 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,436 I'm like... 306 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:51,773 "When the hell I turn into a Uber driver, goddamn? 307 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,530 I'm Ced the damn Entertainer. Somebody better get up here with me. 308 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:02,993 I ain't get ready to be driving y'all like that now, shit." 309 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:10,417 She a cute little mixed girl. They come back to the house. 310 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:14,838 She like, "Let's go to your room and close the door." I'm like, "Oh, whoa." 311 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:19,301 I say, "Son, that's the white 15 right there that's talking. 312 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,679 You don't get to do that 'round here. 313 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:26,350 You don't get to close damn doors and shit, no." 314 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,978 She's like, "You tell Cedric it's your room. You can do that if you want to." 315 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,438 I'm like... 316 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:34,191 "Tell Cedric"? 317 00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:37,569 "Bitch, when you say my name, put some respect on that shit." 318 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,532 "Put some respect on it. 319 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:45,494 I ain't gonna say it no more. 320 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,456 Now, is we finished or is we done?" 321 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:53,210 Okay. I'll trill y'all, shit. 322 00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,797 Put some respect on my shit. 323 00:20:57,714 --> 00:20:59,716 "Tell Cedric." What? 324 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:06,098 The truth is they are your little kids. 325 00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:09,851 And they yours, you been raising them, but you realize your kids do things 326 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:13,772 you do that you didn't really think you taught them, 327 00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:15,691 but you gotta deal with it now. 328 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,777 Like the other day, they called me up to my son's school, 329 00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:22,322 told me my little boy was up there cussing. 330 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,907 I said, "What?" 331 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:27,119 They're like, "Yeah, he here cussing in the school." 332 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:29,788 I'm like, "My little boy?" 333 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:34,126 They like, "Yeah." I say, "Oh, no, you know. 334 00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:36,211 What did he say?" 335 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,755 They were like, "He said, 'Shit, damn.'" 336 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:42,551 I'm like, "'Shit, damn'? In that order?" 337 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:48,473 They say, "Yeah." I say, "Oh, no. 338 00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:53,186 That means the little white kids are influencing my son, you know. 339 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:56,732 I mean, hey, he say 'motherfucker' or 'Fuck that shit, dawg' 340 00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:59,359 or 'We 'bout to blow this bitch up.' 341 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:04,239 Or something like that, I would have taken responsibility. 342 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:09,786 Everybody know that 'Shit, damn' is not a part of our culture, okay? 343 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:14,666 So... thank you so much, okay?" 344 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:17,461 I'm gonna hop right on top of that. 345 00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:22,424 I don't want my son growing up being no dyslexic cusser like that. 346 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:25,719 "Shit, damn." 347 00:22:26,219 --> 00:22:29,931 So I'm walkin' him to the car, mad about the wrong thing. 348 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,851 I'm walking him to the car. "'Shit, damn.' 349 00:22:32,934 --> 00:22:35,812 Really? 'Shit, damn.' 350 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:38,023 I'm one of the original Kings of Comedy 351 00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:42,277 and you up in here talkin' 'bout some 'shit, damn, damn.' 352 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,904 Get your ass in the car! 353 00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:47,449 You know how to cuss." 354 00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:56,291 So you can see where my parenting skills are off a little bit. You can understand. 355 00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:59,711 "Shit, damn." 356 00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:01,546 Shit is embarrassing. 357 00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:06,468 My little daughter, she 12. 358 00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:08,553 She real intelligent though. 359 00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:10,597 She be asking you questions you can't answer. 360 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,600 We had people over. I'm there. We doin' grown-up shit. 361 00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:16,686 We got a little wine goin'. We in the kitchen laughing, talking. 362 00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:20,941 Got company. She gonna walk in. "Daddy, do animals commit suicide?" 363 00:23:24,027 --> 00:23:25,153 "What? 364 00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:30,450 Come on, don't do me like that. You see these damn people over here. 365 00:23:30,534 --> 00:23:33,787 Don't be asking me shit like that. I ain't thought of that before. 366 00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:37,124 Do animals commit suicide? Google it. 367 00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:39,918 Shit. Google the shit. I don't know. 368 00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:42,671 Maybe. Maybe, you know." 369 00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:45,841 You ever thought about it? Maybe though. Maybe? 370 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:48,927 You ever see a possum dead on the side of the road? 371 00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:53,849 You ever think that maybe that possum just was... tired of being a possum? 372 00:23:53,932 --> 00:23:58,645 Nigga just... hanging out with the other possums, like, "You know what? 373 00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:04,442 I don't even give a fuck no more, dawg." 374 00:24:07,737 --> 00:24:10,991 The other possum like, "Don't walk out on the street, Daryl." 375 00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:14,119 "You can't tell me what to do, Wayne. 376 00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:17,205 I mean, I'm ugly. 377 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,166 Don't nobody like us. 378 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,168 Fuck it." 379 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:27,090 It got ran over by a Crown Vic on 26th, this nigga. 380 00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:29,926 Possums standing over him. "He deader than a motherfucker." 381 00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:33,805 They all like, ♪ How do I ♪ 382 00:24:33,889 --> 00:24:36,850 ♪ Say good-bye? ♪ 383 00:24:41,354 --> 00:24:44,357 "Oh, that dawg, man. We loved Daryl." 384 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:49,988 Give your kids a goldfish. Have it in that little tank on the dresser. 385 00:24:50,071 --> 00:24:54,534 Leave for two days. Come back. Goldfish on the dresser, dead. 386 00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:56,411 That's suicide, isn't it? 387 00:24:56,912 --> 00:25:00,040 That goldfish knew there wasn't no water outside that tank. 388 00:25:00,123 --> 00:25:02,709 But he swim around that tank for two days like, 389 00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:05,212 "Man, this some bullshit, man. 390 00:25:06,963 --> 00:25:11,259 I'm a fish. I know I ain't supposed to go in no circle for three damn days. 391 00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:15,889 You know, that treasure chest ain't even got shit in it. Fuck it." 392 00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:23,980 Dead. On your dresser. 393 00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:25,565 Suicide. 394 00:25:30,278 --> 00:25:34,282 Know them bugs that run into your windshield when you driving the highway? 395 00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,745 Them bugs know what they doing, nigga. That's jihad. 396 00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:42,791 Them bugs see your car lights. They like, "For the love of Allah!" 397 00:25:45,418 --> 00:25:47,295 Suicide. 398 00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:54,761 Wow, last year, man. So much shit going on. Crazy shit in the news. 399 00:25:54,844 --> 00:26:00,267 I saw this shit on the news. Threw me off. This lady, 55, just had a baby. 400 00:26:00,350 --> 00:26:04,479 I was like, "Damn. That's pretty late be havin' a damn baby." 401 00:26:04,562 --> 00:26:07,899 But don't get me wrong, if you 55 and wanna have a baby, 402 00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:09,818 go on ahead, have a damn baby. 403 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:12,988 I just find it rude and inconsiderate, personally. 404 00:26:14,489 --> 00:26:16,992 You gotta think about this. You 55. 405 00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:20,412 That means she already got kids that got kids. 406 00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:22,247 When they go visit grandmama, 407 00:26:22,330 --> 00:26:24,582 they gotta deal with their little aunt or uncle. 408 00:26:33,466 --> 00:26:36,970 You gotta be thinkin' about it. That gotta be fucked up. You eight, nine. 409 00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:39,681 You go to your grandmama's house to go play... 410 00:26:39,764 --> 00:26:43,435 Here come this little motherfucker, "Hey, unh-unh, whoa, whoa! 411 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,687 Where you think you goin'? 412 00:26:45,770 --> 00:26:48,440 No, pick me up, take me upstairs and change my diaper. 413 00:26:48,523 --> 00:26:51,776 Then you can go outside. I'm sorry, what? 414 00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:55,238 I'm your little uncle, that's who I am, goddamn it, shit. 415 00:26:55,822 --> 00:26:58,450 Put that on Disney Channel, put something in my sippy cup, 416 00:26:58,533 --> 00:27:01,828 then you can go outside, but other than that... come again? 417 00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:05,290 I'm your little uncle, that's who I am, motherfucker. 418 00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:08,460 Your mama's my sister. Respect the hierarchy around here, shit. 419 00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:12,422 Don't give a damn how old I am." 420 00:27:12,505 --> 00:27:15,091 Fucking little-ass uncle. 421 00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:17,469 What a trip, man. 422 00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:20,930 Saw this shit too. I saw Lamar Odom... God bless Lamar Odom. 423 00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:24,934 I'm glad I saw him. He doin' a'ight, but that was a little scary. 424 00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:29,105 The scary thing... it let me know I'd been out the game for a long time. 425 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:32,817 Scary thing, I was glad he was all right, but when shit hit the news, 426 00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:36,029 told me he had spent $75,000 for two chicks, 427 00:27:36,112 --> 00:27:38,073 I was like, "Ooh! When I was... 428 00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:43,787 I kinda... I kinda been out of the game for a while. 429 00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:47,332 This nigga seemed to raise the Blue Book on these bitches right here. 430 00:27:47,415 --> 00:27:49,000 Nigga, that's... 431 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:51,503 That's... 432 00:27:52,712 --> 00:27:55,215 That's pretty expensive." 433 00:27:56,925 --> 00:28:00,595 As soon as he did that, at your local strip club, all the girls went up. 434 00:28:00,678 --> 00:28:03,473 They heard them girls got 35,000 a piece. 435 00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:06,101 They was like, "Unh-unh, table dances... 436 00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:08,978 Table dances is $80, Latrell." 437 00:28:13,691 --> 00:28:16,027 That my black stripper dance right here. 438 00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:28,039 You be, "Hey, baby, let me get a piece of gum." "I ain't chewing no gum." 439 00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:34,546 "Wait. You not chewing gum right now?" "No, motherfucker... 440 00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:37,632 This how you do the dance, nigga." 441 00:28:43,179 --> 00:28:45,682 "So you sayin' you not chewing gum right now." 442 00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:49,018 "No, motherfucker, I'm in my job. 443 00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:52,439 Do you chew gum at your job?" 444 00:28:56,609 --> 00:29:00,196 All I know is that shit make me want some gum like a motherfucker. 445 00:29:04,534 --> 00:29:06,286 That's the difference too. 446 00:29:06,369 --> 00:29:09,539 'Cause you go down South, they got that shake-a-booty style. 447 00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:12,792 I live in LA. They got the more corporate strip club... 448 00:29:12,876 --> 00:29:14,919 It's all about the up-top game. 449 00:29:15,003 --> 00:29:17,714 There, the girl's like, "Oh, my God, how are you? 450 00:29:19,799 --> 00:29:23,303 Yeah. Yeah. 451 00:29:23,386 --> 00:29:27,223 Yeah, you like that? You like that?" 452 00:29:27,307 --> 00:29:29,684 "Uh, no, not really, baby." 453 00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:35,190 Brothers, we be wanting that goddamn bass, nigga. 454 00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:38,610 You go there, you be seeing... You come down here... 455 00:29:38,693 --> 00:29:40,945 I went to Atlanta one time, saw a girl... 456 00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:45,325 Her ass was so fat, I thought I had on 3-D glasses, nigga. I was, "Ooh! 457 00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:48,328 Ooh, I gotta take these off! That's too close. 458 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,081 Ooh, that's givin' me a headache. Is that too close for you?" 459 00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:55,043 I can't wear these. I can't wear these and look at her. 460 00:29:56,211 --> 00:29:59,881 'Cause they got that shake-a-booty style. That style right there. 461 00:30:02,717 --> 00:30:06,095 You ever notice, once you a stripper and do the shake-a-booty style, 462 00:30:06,179 --> 00:30:07,680 you can't stop doing it. 463 00:30:07,764 --> 00:30:10,558 Anybody know somebody that used to strip and don't no more? 464 00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:13,269 They'll just do this shit in regular life sometimes. 465 00:30:15,688 --> 00:30:18,399 They be at the bank about to cash their check. 466 00:30:20,735 --> 00:30:23,154 You be behind them with your check like... 467 00:30:24,739 --> 00:30:28,952 "You know what, give me that in all ones, my nigga, a'ight? 468 00:30:29,035 --> 00:30:33,540 I didn't know y'all was doing it like that up in here today." 469 00:30:36,084 --> 00:30:38,211 They're doing it big. 470 00:30:39,462 --> 00:30:41,881 No, it's a condition. They don't know they doing it. 471 00:30:41,965 --> 00:30:44,467 It's something like stripper Tourette's. 472 00:30:44,551 --> 00:30:46,719 The stripper Tourette's. You don't know you're doing it. 473 00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:49,472 You don't strip no more. You have moved on in life. 474 00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:52,767 You got your real estate license and everything, you know. 475 00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:57,689 But don't let your song happen to come on. 476 00:30:57,772 --> 00:31:00,149 It's just a... You can't help it. 477 00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:02,443 Even in your mind you might hear your song 478 00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:03,820 and just do stripper shit. 479 00:31:03,903 --> 00:31:06,281 They be about to check out at the grocery lane 480 00:31:06,364 --> 00:31:08,783 and don't even know they doing stripper shit. Boop. 481 00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:12,537 Boop. 482 00:31:12,620 --> 00:31:14,747 "Excuse me. These two-for-one? 483 00:31:14,831 --> 00:31:17,250 That's what I thought. Okay." Boop. Boop. 484 00:31:17,333 --> 00:31:19,961 "Twan, put that down. You can't have that. Unh-unh." 485 00:31:20,086 --> 00:31:22,213 "Y'all take coupons? 486 00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:25,675 Oh, good. I'm about to make it rain in this motherfucker." 487 00:31:25,758 --> 00:31:28,177 ♪ I'm-a drop it down, pick it up Twerk this ass ♪ 488 00:31:28,261 --> 00:31:30,305 ♪ Just make sure you be throwing the cash ♪ 489 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:36,644 ♪ And make the rain come down Rain come down ♪ 490 00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:43,401 Little kid's like, "Mama, what is you doing?" 491 00:31:43,484 --> 00:31:46,946 Like, "Ooh, baby. Mama got to get home and take a No-strip-itol. 492 00:31:47,030 --> 00:31:49,157 I got to take... 493 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,242 400 milligrams of No-strip-itol. 494 00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:53,036 I've got a condition. 495 00:31:54,829 --> 00:31:56,831 I need my medication." 496 00:32:00,418 --> 00:32:03,963 I'm feeling good, man. I just had a birthday. 497 00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:09,218 Wow, man. 498 00:32:09,302 --> 00:32:12,972 You get old and you don't even realize it. You feel good. 499 00:32:13,056 --> 00:32:14,515 But when you get older, 500 00:32:14,599 --> 00:32:17,936 you know you getting older 'cause old shit happen to you. 501 00:32:18,019 --> 00:32:20,063 Like, in your mind, you still young. 502 00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:23,524 But then you be doing regular life and some old shit happen to you, 503 00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:25,485 like, "Ooh, I'm older than a mofo." 504 00:32:25,568 --> 00:32:30,239 Like you be pouring cereal and your knee go out. "Oh! Shit. 505 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,541 Mmm. 506 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:45,838 I'm gonna have to stop fucking with these Honey Nut Cheerios, nigga... 507 00:32:47,048 --> 00:32:49,467 if that's going to happen every time." 508 00:32:53,012 --> 00:32:56,140 Dude, we got one little move that we know we old. 509 00:32:56,224 --> 00:32:58,643 When we can't just step into the car no more. 510 00:32:58,726 --> 00:33:01,646 You know your ass old when you leave like this. 511 00:33:01,729 --> 00:33:04,065 "All right, I'm gonna holler at y'all. 512 00:33:10,446 --> 00:33:13,408 Tell you mama Roosevelt came by here." 513 00:33:18,287 --> 00:33:20,623 Your ass old, nigga. 514 00:33:24,669 --> 00:33:27,255 I know I'm old 'cause I got old-ass friends. 515 00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:29,674 It ain't got shit to do with me. 516 00:33:29,757 --> 00:33:33,011 I feel good, but my friends be old and doing old shit. 517 00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:35,471 I'm like, "Damn. I'm one of y'all, ain't I?" 518 00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:40,935 Idiots in the club arguing over blood pressure medicine and shit. 519 00:33:42,437 --> 00:33:45,982 "Would you stop talking about your damn prescriptions in the club?" 520 00:33:46,065 --> 00:33:49,444 We at a club, my boy taking his pills, girl walk up to him, 521 00:33:49,527 --> 00:33:51,446 "Is that a Molly? Can I get one?" 522 00:33:51,529 --> 00:33:54,949 I'm like, "Girl, you better not take that shit right there. 523 00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:59,537 Your goddamn glucose level's gonna go up so high. Don't. No. 524 00:33:59,620 --> 00:34:01,456 No. Don't. 525 00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:05,376 Don't take that shit he on, baby." 526 00:34:07,712 --> 00:34:10,256 My boy, he's trying to be hip. 527 00:34:10,339 --> 00:34:13,551 He trying to be on social media. His old ass. 528 00:34:13,634 --> 00:34:15,970 Talking about "Follow me @Willy Earl." 529 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:22,643 Man, ain't nobody gonna follow nobody named Mr. Willy Earl 530 00:34:22,769 --> 00:34:24,937 on goddamn Instagram. 531 00:34:26,147 --> 00:34:28,191 Goddamn. Mr. Willy Earl. 532 00:34:30,568 --> 00:34:33,446 He in the club with some damn shape-ups on. 533 00:34:34,697 --> 00:34:38,993 So every time he stop, he just rocking for no reason, nigga. 534 00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:50,338 "Man, there's a few of them in here tonight, ain't it?" 535 00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:55,802 "Nigga, if you don't stop all that damn rocking." 536 00:34:55,885 --> 00:34:58,888 "I can't help it. It's the shoes, you know. 537 00:34:58,971 --> 00:35:01,849 Joe Montana wear these right here." 538 00:35:06,062 --> 00:35:07,980 He's 60-something. 539 00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:11,442 He won't tell us how old he is. 540 00:35:11,526 --> 00:35:13,986 He had downloaded his damn... 541 00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:18,116 He got an iPhone 6 and downloaded his music on there for ringtones. 542 00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:19,700 I'm like, "Willy Earl, 543 00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:24,205 come on, man, don't put those old-ass records on there, man." 544 00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:27,333 A ringtone for young people, man. You ain't supposed to... 545 00:35:27,416 --> 00:35:30,545 When your phone rings, it supposed to be some cool shit come on. 546 00:35:30,628 --> 00:35:34,340 ♪ Fuck up some commas Fuck up some commas, yeah ♪ 547 00:35:34,423 --> 00:35:37,677 Sure enough, we in a club, this motherfucker's phone rings. 548 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:42,181 ♪ Sit yourself down, girl, and talk to me ♪ 549 00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:45,518 ♪ Let's straighten it out ♪ 550 00:35:48,896 --> 00:35:52,316 Like, "Nigga, is that Latimore on your damn phone? 551 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,069 I ain't know you could download Latimore, man." 552 00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:58,739 He gonna answer his phone, "Hello. This is Willy Earl. 553 00:35:58,823 --> 00:36:00,700 Uh-huh. 554 00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,536 Uh-huh. 555 00:36:05,079 --> 00:36:07,498 Yes. Where did you find me? 556 00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:10,918 On WillyEarl.com? Okay, thank you." 557 00:36:11,002 --> 00:36:13,754 Oh, damn old ass. 558 00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:18,551 Like I say, he's 60-something, man, but he got a girlfriend like 28, 29. 559 00:36:19,802 --> 00:36:22,597 He be bragging too, like, "Hey, boy, hey." 560 00:36:24,682 --> 00:36:28,019 "Hey, boy, I'm still out there in the game, boy, you know? 561 00:36:28,102 --> 00:36:30,354 I'm picking 'em up and I'm putting 'em down. 562 00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:32,356 I get it like I live. You know? 563 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,860 I told the bitch 'If I got four quarters, I couldn't call it.' You know?" 564 00:36:40,114 --> 00:36:42,533 He trying to keep up with that young-ass girl. 565 00:36:42,617 --> 00:36:46,037 He got a pocketful of Viagras and Cialis and Levitras. 566 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:49,207 Nigga just eating them all day like they sunflower seeds. 567 00:36:50,625 --> 00:36:53,794 "I'll stay ready so I ain't got to get ready." 568 00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:03,930 He be offering them to you like they Altoids. "You want a Cialis, my nigga? 569 00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:06,015 No? All right." 570 00:37:06,098 --> 00:37:09,685 I caught him one day with a Cialis sweetheart necklace on. 571 00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:21,155 "Trying to find one of my Levitras." 572 00:37:25,326 --> 00:37:27,453 Got this damn election going on. 573 00:37:27,536 --> 00:37:30,998 Boy. Goddamn Donald Trump, man. 574 00:37:31,082 --> 00:37:33,209 He's an ignorant little motherfucker. 575 00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:37,713 Like he's been eating Cheetos and just rubbed it on his face. 576 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:43,344 I ain't never seen a tan that goddamn orange. 577 00:37:44,428 --> 00:37:46,889 This fool talking about he gonna build a wall 578 00:37:46,973 --> 00:37:48,683 to stop the Mexicans from coming in. 579 00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:50,268 Come on, Donald. 580 00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:52,728 Nobody gonna stop no damn people from Mexico 581 00:37:52,853 --> 00:37:53,980 with no damn wall. 582 00:37:54,063 --> 00:37:58,526 We already see El Chapo. We know they doing tunnels already. 583 00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:02,321 Plus, I just was in Mexico. 584 00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:04,282 They heard we were gonna build a wall. 585 00:38:04,365 --> 00:38:07,785 Everybody in Mexico practicing already, getting ready to come here. 586 00:38:07,868 --> 00:38:10,162 Everybody heard we were building a wall. 587 00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:11,580 They down there getting ready. 588 00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:15,001 As soon as we build a wall, everybody learning how to pole vault. 589 00:38:17,211 --> 00:38:20,506 What a wall gonna be... 15-, 16-feet tall? 590 00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:23,384 Them niggas on the other side of the wall like this. 591 00:38:24,468 --> 00:38:26,595 ¡Ãrale! 592 00:38:32,643 --> 00:38:35,896 "17'2", motherfucker!" 593 00:38:41,235 --> 00:38:44,238 He's on the other side like, "Throw the stick back, homes! 594 00:38:45,489 --> 00:38:48,951 Fucking Hector, you took the stick with you, bro." 595 00:38:51,037 --> 00:38:52,496 This motherfucker here. 596 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,749 And I don't know who be voting for him. 597 00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:56,500 Anybody in here... A show of hands. 598 00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:58,794 Who be voting for Donald Trump? Anybody? 599 00:38:58,878 --> 00:39:00,629 Nobody ever say it. 600 00:39:00,713 --> 00:39:03,632 One motherfucker. There's Trump. There go Trump, dude. 601 00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:05,384 There's got to be one. 602 00:39:05,468 --> 00:39:08,346 Every time he win, it be a thousand people voting for Trump. 603 00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:10,556 And I'd be like, "Who the fuck?" 604 00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:16,062 'Cause every time I see he won, it's just surprising as like 605 00:39:16,145 --> 00:39:18,731 seeing your one girl cousin that dress like a boy, 606 00:39:18,814 --> 00:39:21,442 but she show up at the family reunion pregnant. 607 00:39:23,444 --> 00:39:26,280 Everybody like, "Who the fuck is fucking Mr. Cynthia?" 608 00:39:29,575 --> 00:39:32,370 I can't figure it out. Who? 609 00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:37,833 I think Hillary want to win just so she can get Bill back. 610 00:39:37,917 --> 00:39:41,045 She going to be in the Oval Office with somebody under her desk, 611 00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:43,422 nigga, like, 612 00:39:43,506 --> 00:39:45,925 "I'm the captain now! 613 00:39:47,134 --> 00:39:50,888 Look at me. I'm the captain now." 614 00:39:54,016 --> 00:39:56,227 Everybody think they can do what Barack did, man. 615 00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:58,938 They gonna come in and just try to do their job. 616 00:39:59,021 --> 00:40:00,564 Barack did his thing, man. 617 00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:03,150 Barack did his thing, man. 618 00:40:05,528 --> 00:40:07,863 As the president, if they keep fucking with him, 619 00:40:07,947 --> 00:40:11,325 I don't know if he gonna make it all the way to the end. 620 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:15,413 Barack might quit like that black lady did on the news. Remember? 621 00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:20,251 Wake up one day, go, "Fuck this shit! I ain't going through this shit." 622 00:40:20,334 --> 00:40:24,338 Just leave. I know he ain't gonna put on no suit that last day. 623 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,757 That last day, Barack ain't gonna put on no suit. 624 00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:29,427 He gonna walk to that helicopter in Jordan flip-flops 625 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:34,390 with his hat backwards, wave cap on, nigga. 626 00:40:34,473 --> 00:40:37,268 "Michelle, Sasha, Malia, y'all coming? 627 00:40:38,018 --> 00:40:41,564 Oh, get some of those sheets. I like that thread count on that shit." 628 00:40:43,774 --> 00:40:46,902 I don't know why they be messing with that man like that, man. 629 00:40:46,986 --> 00:40:50,281 Barack, he the only one who really could have been the first black president. 630 00:40:50,364 --> 00:40:53,492 For real. Look around. I mean, look at yourselves. Come on, now. 631 00:40:54,535 --> 00:40:57,621 We like to fight too much. Everybody in this room be like... 632 00:40:57,705 --> 00:41:00,458 We can't have nobody say shit about us. 633 00:41:00,541 --> 00:41:02,209 Barack be holding that shit in. 634 00:41:02,293 --> 00:41:05,629 Every now and then, that negro do show up though. 635 00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:08,048 Black people see it. We see it first. 636 00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:11,135 We like, "Ooh, there it is. He about to trip." 637 00:41:15,514 --> 00:41:19,935 Not long ago, he was talking about I've done all I can do with this and that. 638 00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:21,604 "Right, 'cause you can't go again!" 639 00:41:21,687 --> 00:41:25,399 Barack was like, "Because I won 'em all, fuck, boy, pussy." 640 00:41:28,110 --> 00:41:30,654 You got to listen to the tape slow. 641 00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:32,156 You got to play it real slow. 642 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,451 "Fuck, boy, pussy, nigga, I won everything. 643 00:41:35,534 --> 00:41:37,870 Just saying." 644 00:41:37,953 --> 00:41:40,873 Like, damn, Barack. Motherfucking thug. 645 00:41:41,874 --> 00:41:44,293 I don't know why they be talking about he soft. 646 00:41:44,376 --> 00:41:46,045 Barack been taken some serious folks out. 647 00:41:46,128 --> 00:41:48,422 I'm talking about Osama bin Laden, merked. 648 00:41:48,506 --> 00:41:51,842 Muammar Gaddafi, merked. 649 00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,970 All the Somalia pirates, done. 650 00:41:55,054 --> 00:41:59,099 Shit. Barack got to fuck around and get some tattoo tears, nigga, shit. 651 00:42:02,561 --> 00:42:06,148 He the only president in the US history looking like Kevin Gates over there. 652 00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:08,859 ♪ I got two phones ♪ 653 00:42:11,612 --> 00:42:13,656 Thug, dawg. 654 00:42:13,739 --> 00:42:15,950 I like coming down South too, man. 655 00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:19,119 Somebody ask me, "Why you do your special in Nashville, Ced?" 656 00:42:19,245 --> 00:42:21,288 I'm, like, "What?" Nashville's the city, man. 657 00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:24,542 Y'all know it. 658 00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:27,336 Burning up all this energy right here. 659 00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:31,840 All these dope colleges down here, man. 660 00:42:33,300 --> 00:42:35,719 'Cause you got energy, man. People ain't know that. 661 00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:38,722 They gonna see it on this special. They gonna see it though. 662 00:42:38,806 --> 00:42:41,892 They gonna be like, "Damn! I ain't know it be popping like that." 663 00:42:41,976 --> 00:42:44,770 Yeah, man! 664 00:42:44,853 --> 00:42:47,022 The city's known for country music. 665 00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:50,651 That's what everybody kind of think. It's about the country music down here. 666 00:42:50,734 --> 00:42:53,195 And I like country music. Don't get me wrong. 667 00:42:53,279 --> 00:42:56,657 Some of 'em really got hot. And it got interesting too. 668 00:42:56,740 --> 00:43:00,077 Like, I'm in my room in the hotel not too long ago... 669 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,705 A couple years back, I hear a country western song 670 00:43:02,788 --> 00:43:05,708 come on with hip-hop language in it. 671 00:43:05,791 --> 00:43:08,711 Shit threw me off. I'm in my room chillin'... 672 00:43:08,794 --> 00:43:11,463 Y'all heard of "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"? 673 00:43:12,923 --> 00:43:15,593 This is a real goddamn song, man. 674 00:43:15,676 --> 00:43:18,095 I'm in my room and that shit goin' in, dawg. 675 00:43:18,178 --> 00:43:19,471 I'm in my room chillin'. 676 00:43:19,555 --> 00:43:24,893 ♪ She was a honky tonk badonkadonk ♪ 677 00:43:24,977 --> 00:43:27,021 ♪ You don't have to knows it ♪ 678 00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:28,606 ♪ She got me goin' ♪ 679 00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:31,483 ♪ She got it goin' on ♪ 680 00:43:31,567 --> 00:43:33,485 ♪ Like Donkey Kong ♪ 681 00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:38,198 Nigga, I be in my room line dancing like a mother. 682 00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:43,954 Swear to God. 683 00:43:44,038 --> 00:43:46,332 Didn't even know I was doing the shit, dawg. 684 00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:50,878 I caught myself in the mirror, nigga, just... 685 00:43:53,839 --> 00:43:55,799 That's the other thing too... you be down South, 686 00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:59,428 you get outside, like, the city limit you get into that little country area, 687 00:43:59,511 --> 00:44:02,556 you'll run into some of them good old boys out there, man. 688 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:06,185 They be corn-fed, cock-strong motherfucking boys. 689 00:44:06,268 --> 00:44:10,189 Been lifting baby bulls since they was six-years-old and shit. 690 00:44:11,357 --> 00:44:12,524 Be strong as hell. 691 00:44:12,608 --> 00:44:16,111 They daddy be like, "Trevor, go put those baby bulls in my pickup truck." 692 00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:19,406 "All right, Daddy." 693 00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:22,660 Before they're six, with one arm, throwing a bull up in a truck. 694 00:44:27,539 --> 00:44:30,167 And them mothers will fight your ass too. 695 00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:31,710 That's the thing about it. 696 00:44:31,794 --> 00:44:33,962 Black people, we think just 'cause we born black 697 00:44:34,046 --> 00:44:35,547 we can beat up white dudes. 698 00:44:35,631 --> 00:44:38,676 In our minds, we like, "White boy, I'll beat your motherfucking ass. 699 00:44:38,759 --> 00:44:41,095 You better go on with that bullshit, boy." 700 00:44:41,178 --> 00:44:43,972 You don't do that shit in the country, man. 701 00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:47,434 Trying to tell you that shit ain't gonna go like you think at all. 702 00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:50,854 That mofo be like, "Come on, son of a bitch! 703 00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:53,065 Whoo! 704 00:44:53,148 --> 00:44:56,110 Let's go, bubba, let's do it, baby!" 705 00:44:57,486 --> 00:45:02,032 You be like, "Everybody just need to calm down for a second. Listen. 706 00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:05,577 Listen, is it Trevor? It's Trevor, right? Is it Trevor? 707 00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:07,955 Let me get you a beer, bro. Shit." 708 00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:10,541 Fuck. 709 00:45:10,624 --> 00:45:14,044 I ain't trying to get Bobby Boucher down this bitch. 710 00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:19,091 It's totally different than black country. 711 00:45:19,174 --> 00:45:22,052 Black country is a whole 'nother dialogue altogether. 712 00:45:22,136 --> 00:45:23,637 I got some country-ass cousins... 713 00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:26,682 It's fast and it's country and it all ran together. 714 00:45:26,765 --> 00:45:28,892 You don't know what the fuck they be saying. 715 00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:32,688 I got a cousin excited to see me. Every time he see me, "Hey, coz. 716 00:45:32,771 --> 00:45:35,607 Hey..." 717 00:45:36,442 --> 00:45:37,901 "Huh?" 718 00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:40,446 "Hey..." 719 00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:50,247 "Hey..." 720 00:45:50,330 --> 00:45:54,293 "Why you like... Goddamn it." 721 00:45:57,171 --> 00:45:58,630 "What? 722 00:46:01,091 --> 00:46:05,179 I'm gonna need closed captions for your ass, nigga. I don't have... 723 00:46:05,262 --> 00:46:07,973 I have no idea what you just said, motherfucker." 724 00:46:09,057 --> 00:46:12,853 Trip is, I'm talking to one of my cousin's friends, he talk faster than him. 725 00:46:12,936 --> 00:46:14,521 He walk up and introduce himself. 726 00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:17,316 "Charles Johnson. Everybody around here call me 'Bominicious.' 727 00:46:17,399 --> 00:46:19,443 Everybody around here call me Bominicious. It's fine. 728 00:46:19,526 --> 00:46:22,863 You call me that. Don't even worry about it. Everybody call me Bominicious." 729 00:46:22,946 --> 00:46:25,032 "Everybody call you 'Bominicious'"? 730 00:46:25,699 --> 00:46:28,535 "Yeah, everybody in the whole city call me Bominicious. Don't worry. 731 00:46:28,619 --> 00:46:30,787 You can call me that. Don't worry about it." 732 00:46:30,871 --> 00:46:32,331 "That's what everybody calls you?" 733 00:46:32,414 --> 00:46:34,249 "Yeah, everybody calls me that." 734 00:46:34,333 --> 00:46:37,169 So I'm like, "All right." So all week long... 735 00:46:37,252 --> 00:46:40,297 my ass talking about, "Bominicious, what up, boy?" 736 00:46:40,380 --> 00:46:44,301 "Hey, Bominicious, you gonna come over here watch the game with us?" 737 00:46:44,384 --> 00:46:47,304 "Hey, Bominicious, run to the store, grab some beer, come on back." 738 00:46:47,387 --> 00:46:49,431 My coz said, "What'd you call him?" 739 00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:01,318 "Bominicious. 740 00:47:01,401 --> 00:47:05,155 He said everybody called him Bominicious. It's all right for me to call him that." 741 00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,407 "No, man, his name is C.J." 742 00:47:08,659 --> 00:47:13,163 He saying, "You can call me by my initials." That's what he saying. 743 00:47:25,884 --> 00:47:28,220 C.J. 744 00:47:28,303 --> 00:47:31,515 I been calling that boy Bominicious all week. 745 00:47:31,598 --> 00:47:35,060 "By my initials," is what he's saying. 746 00:47:38,939 --> 00:47:41,149 This shit is embarrassing. 747 00:47:42,526 --> 00:47:45,487 "Why you ain't say nothing? You heard me call you Bominicious." 748 00:47:47,072 --> 00:47:49,908 "I couldn't understand you. I ain't know what you talking about." 749 00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:54,830 "You couldn't understand me? Okay. All right. All right. 750 00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:58,959 Okay. I deserve that." 751 00:47:59,042 --> 00:48:02,296 We had a little wild-ass year. We had a wild-ass year. 752 00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:06,008 Lot of little stars was getting, like, locked up in the last couple of years. 753 00:48:06,091 --> 00:48:09,011 Little Chris Brown in and out of jail. 754 00:48:09,094 --> 00:48:10,762 Little Chris Brown finally got it together. 755 00:48:10,846 --> 00:48:13,724 That mofo get locked up, get out of jail, get locked up, 756 00:48:13,807 --> 00:48:17,227 threw a rock at his mama's car, went back to jail, got locked up. 757 00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:20,522 Little nigga gonna learn... ♪ These jails ain't loyal, nigga ♪ 758 00:48:21,898 --> 00:48:24,568 Wesley Snipes had to go to jail couple of years ago. 759 00:48:24,651 --> 00:48:29,197 Passenger 57 was inmate 135267. He was locked up. 760 00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:33,577 Ron Isley had to go to jail. Even Mr. Bigg was in the big house. 761 00:48:33,660 --> 00:48:37,623 I heard somebody, "Oh, Lord. Jesus!" No, he fine, baby. He out. 762 00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:40,667 She go, "Oh, Lord!" No, he okay. He all right. 763 00:48:40,751 --> 00:48:42,919 Matter of fact, he in the studio right now 764 00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:46,006 doing a remix to Akon's song "Locked Up." 765 00:48:46,798 --> 00:48:48,592 But doing it Ron Isley style. 766 00:48:48,675 --> 00:48:51,303 So you know that shit buttery than a motherfucker, nigga. 767 00:48:51,386 --> 00:48:53,388 ♪ I'm locked up ♪ 768 00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:57,142 ♪ La da da da da da da ♪ 769 00:48:57,225 --> 00:49:00,729 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh Locked up ♪ 770 00:49:00,812 --> 00:49:04,191 ♪ Well, well, well, well, well ♪ 771 00:49:06,443 --> 00:49:08,654 ♪ La da da da ♪ 772 00:49:10,530 --> 00:49:12,491 ♪ La ♪ 773 00:49:13,742 --> 00:49:15,619 ♪ I was locked up ♪ 774 00:49:17,287 --> 00:49:19,706 ♪ I was locked up ♪ 775 00:49:22,834 --> 00:49:26,672 "Locked Up" remix. Buttery as hell. 776 00:49:27,506 --> 00:49:30,509 I been feeling good, man, you know. 777 00:49:30,592 --> 00:49:33,804 Trying, you know, to take care of yourself. 778 00:49:33,887 --> 00:49:36,139 Got to take care of yourself, man. 779 00:49:36,223 --> 00:49:40,394 You know, everybody all upset. Everybody all angry. 780 00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:42,771 The world is angry as hell, for good reason. 781 00:49:42,854 --> 00:49:44,773 Lot of bullshit going on out there. 782 00:49:44,856 --> 00:49:47,943 Like all this year, all the violence where police were killing kids. 783 00:49:48,026 --> 00:49:49,486 I got a little boy, man. 784 00:49:49,569 --> 00:49:51,488 I'm concerned about this shit. 785 00:49:51,571 --> 00:49:55,117 Like police will just shoot a little black kid. 786 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,495 Same motherfucker will jump in a raging river to save a dog. 787 00:49:58,578 --> 00:50:01,289 That's why every time my boy leave the house, I'm like, 788 00:50:01,373 --> 00:50:03,792 "Take the puppy with you, nigga. That's all I know." 789 00:50:07,212 --> 00:50:10,257 He's walking around with a Yorkie on a goddamn key chain. 790 00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:12,384 "I'll just take him with me." 791 00:50:12,467 --> 00:50:15,971 All I know is black Labs' lives matter, nigga. I've know that. 792 00:50:18,056 --> 00:50:21,226 I had to defend my dawg couple times in the year... Steve Harvey. 793 00:50:21,309 --> 00:50:23,103 I had to come to his defense. 794 00:50:23,186 --> 00:50:26,523 First, about the Miss Universe shit. Everybody was upset about it. 795 00:50:26,606 --> 00:50:30,694 I called him that night. I had to hit him with the Menace II Society. 796 00:50:30,777 --> 00:50:32,904 I'm like, "You know you fucked up, right? 797 00:50:33,947 --> 00:50:35,198 You know you fucked up? 798 00:50:35,282 --> 00:50:37,784 You fucked up. You fucked up." 799 00:50:41,455 --> 00:50:44,332 But a couple of months before that, people was mad at him 800 00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:48,712 'cause he put Paula Deen on his talk show, and everybody was mad, man. 801 00:50:48,795 --> 00:50:51,590 "Ced, why your boy got Paula Deen on the talk show?" 802 00:50:51,673 --> 00:50:54,968 First of all, it's a talk show, motherfucker. Hold on. 803 00:50:55,051 --> 00:50:56,762 Somebody got to be on there talking. 804 00:50:57,929 --> 00:51:01,475 Give him a minute, you know. But I get it. I understand. 805 00:51:01,558 --> 00:51:04,060 Black people, we were mad 'cause Paula Deen, you know, 806 00:51:04,144 --> 00:51:07,439 real, on the low, we mad Paula Deen said the N-word. 807 00:51:07,522 --> 00:51:10,525 'Cause, on the low, we fucks with Paula Deen. 808 00:51:10,609 --> 00:51:13,403 'Cause Paula Deen cook the way we like shit. 809 00:51:13,487 --> 00:51:17,783 So it kind of hurt us when Paula Deen said the N-word at all. 810 00:51:17,866 --> 00:51:19,326 When Paula Deen be on TV, she like, 811 00:51:19,409 --> 00:51:22,996 "First, I'm gonna take some biscuits, then put them in the oven, 812 00:51:23,079 --> 00:51:26,249 and I'm gonna take some butter and put that on top of there, 813 00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:29,044 and then take some bacon and crumble it on top 814 00:51:29,127 --> 00:51:31,922 and melt some cheese all over it. 815 00:51:32,005 --> 00:51:35,383 And we'll take some gravy and sop it up through there." 816 00:51:35,467 --> 00:51:38,804 We be in the house like, "Oh, shit! 817 00:51:38,887 --> 00:51:44,267 God damn, Paula Deen, that shit sounds good as a motherfucker there!" 818 00:51:44,351 --> 00:51:47,979 That's why it hurt us when she said it. God damn, Paula Deen. 819 00:51:48,730 --> 00:51:51,858 When you think about it, anybody cook a sweet potato pie that good, 820 00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:54,361 got to say nigga every now and then, you know. 821 00:51:55,445 --> 00:51:57,614 But I ain't talking about no egregious-ass shit. 822 00:51:57,697 --> 00:52:00,033 When you first taste it to make sure it's good. 823 00:52:00,116 --> 00:52:03,537 You like, "Nigga! Yeah. 824 00:52:11,378 --> 00:52:12,796 Nigga. 825 00:52:13,713 --> 00:52:16,883 Might want to get you a little piece of that right there, boy. 826 00:52:17,926 --> 00:52:19,636 Nigga. 827 00:52:24,933 --> 00:52:26,393 Nigga." 828 00:52:28,186 --> 00:52:31,481 Animals all mad and shit. 829 00:52:31,565 --> 00:52:34,651 So much shit going on, like, animals are upset. 830 00:52:34,734 --> 00:52:37,821 Rightly so. In Ohio, a couple of years ago, 831 00:52:37,904 --> 00:52:41,491 this dude had, like, a zoo at his house with real zoo animals. 832 00:52:41,616 --> 00:52:44,828 He got up one day and let 'em go in a regular-ass neighborhood. 833 00:52:44,911 --> 00:52:46,663 "Hyah! Get on out of here! 834 00:52:46,746 --> 00:52:49,082 Hyah! Hyah! Go on now!" 835 00:52:51,751 --> 00:52:54,588 That ain't for black people right there, that shit. 836 00:52:54,671 --> 00:52:58,717 This nigga had lions and tigers and bears, oh, my! 837 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:03,013 You know us. We scared when somebody's dog get loose. 838 00:53:03,096 --> 00:53:06,016 I couldn't even imagine walking through a Walmart parking lot 839 00:53:06,099 --> 00:53:07,642 and seeing a loose-ass lion. 840 00:53:07,726 --> 00:53:09,311 Nigga, you like... 841 00:53:12,606 --> 00:53:14,608 "Is that a lion, nigga? 842 00:53:15,901 --> 00:53:17,611 Don't move! Don't move! 843 00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:21,406 I heard you ain't supposed to move." 844 00:53:22,240 --> 00:53:25,035 You be coming up with all kinds of shit. 845 00:53:25,118 --> 00:53:28,705 I don't even know what you supposed to do you see a loose-ass lion. 846 00:53:28,788 --> 00:53:30,498 Somebody talk about "Run!" 847 00:53:30,582 --> 00:53:33,585 Nigga, your ass can't outrun no damn lion. 848 00:53:34,586 --> 00:53:39,341 I don't know about y'all, but I would try to Jedi mind-trick that motherfucker. 849 00:53:39,424 --> 00:53:43,595 If I saw a loose-ass lion, I would turn into a lion tamer. 850 00:53:43,678 --> 00:53:47,682 That lion came at me, I'll be like, "Ha! Sit, Abar! 851 00:53:50,518 --> 00:53:52,646 I am Cedric! 852 00:53:54,814 --> 00:53:56,858 Hup! Sit!" 853 00:53:57,984 --> 00:54:02,280 The lion would be looking at me, "Do I know you, motherfucker?" 854 00:54:02,364 --> 00:54:05,158 "I'm just trying not to get ate, Lion. 855 00:54:06,451 --> 00:54:08,828 Doing the best I can, you know." 856 00:54:10,538 --> 00:54:12,666 Saw this shit on YouTube the other day. 857 00:54:12,749 --> 00:54:15,752 This lady was at the zoo and got kicked by a giraffe. 858 00:54:16,836 --> 00:54:21,299 I don't know what your ass did to make a giraffe mad. 859 00:54:21,383 --> 00:54:23,593 Do you know how irritating your ass gotta be 860 00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:26,846 for a giraffe to haul off and kick the shit out of you? 861 00:54:27,847 --> 00:54:31,893 Giraffe is usually one of the cooler animals at the damn zoo. 862 00:54:31,977 --> 00:54:37,232 They all long and lanky. Be walking around like a ballplayer. 863 00:54:37,315 --> 00:54:41,695 They got the eyelashes that's all fleek and shit, nigga. 864 00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:45,198 I don't know what this lady said, 865 00:54:45,281 --> 00:54:48,243 but that giraffe had had enough of her ass. 866 00:54:48,326 --> 00:54:50,495 She up and said something, that giraffe went like, 867 00:54:50,578 --> 00:54:53,289 "Bitch, shut the fuck up!" 868 00:54:54,666 --> 00:54:58,086 But he knew he had fucked up, so that nigga ran off and shit. 869 00:55:05,176 --> 00:55:08,722 He tried to mix in with the other giraffes and shit. 870 00:55:08,805 --> 00:55:11,433 They going, "We see your ass, Dwayne. 871 00:55:11,516 --> 00:55:14,352 You know damn well you weren't supposed to kick that lady." 872 00:55:18,606 --> 00:55:22,152 And chickens have had a hard couple of years. Ooh. 873 00:55:22,235 --> 00:55:25,822 It's got to be rough if you a damn chicken when you think about it. 874 00:55:25,905 --> 00:55:29,284 'Cause chickens, man, we love damn chicken. 875 00:55:29,367 --> 00:55:34,539 So if you a chicken, you can't be out on the farm making plans and shit. 876 00:55:34,622 --> 00:55:37,500 Talking about, "Yeah, I think next Saturday we should all get together 877 00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:39,127 and go over to Reggie's house..." 878 00:55:39,210 --> 00:55:41,254 Nigga, you going to be 86ed Wednesday. 879 00:55:41,337 --> 00:55:44,257 Your ass ain't gonna make it to goddamn Saturday. 880 00:55:44,340 --> 00:55:47,385 You gonna be on somebody's grill, dawg. 881 00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:52,807 There's been a lot of controversy around chicken. 882 00:55:52,891 --> 00:55:56,102 The last couple of years... It started with the Chick-fil-A man. 883 00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:59,314 The Chick-fil-A man didn't want gay people to eat chicken. 884 00:55:59,397 --> 00:56:01,316 He made a statement and everything. 885 00:56:01,399 --> 00:56:04,277 "Your ass gay, don't come over here and eat no motherfucking chicken." 886 00:56:05,111 --> 00:56:07,864 I could be paraphrasing. I could be off a little bit. 887 00:56:07,947 --> 00:56:10,784 But I believe it's an exact quote if you look it up. 888 00:56:10,867 --> 00:56:13,536 "Don't bring your punk ass here to eat no goddamn chicken." 889 00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:16,206 I could be off by a word or two, 890 00:56:16,289 --> 00:56:18,458 but I believe it's somewhere right in there. 891 00:56:18,541 --> 00:56:21,044 He's like, "Don't bring your punk ass over here 892 00:56:21,127 --> 00:56:24,380 try to eat no goddamn chicken up in here, is what I'm saying." 893 00:56:24,464 --> 00:56:27,175 Damn, Chick-fil-A man, that's aggressive. 894 00:56:28,635 --> 00:56:31,721 Black people, we had to deal with it a couple of years ago 895 00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:33,848 with, you know, Mary J. Blige. 896 00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:36,601 She ended up singing the chicken song for Burger King 897 00:56:36,684 --> 00:56:38,228 and that kind of offended us. 898 00:56:38,311 --> 00:56:42,107 Well, one, that's a stereotype that we love chicken. 899 00:56:42,190 --> 00:56:43,858 You know. And we do. 900 00:56:45,568 --> 00:56:49,614 We just don't want no motherfucker singing about that shit though. 901 00:56:49,697 --> 00:56:50,907 It's already hard enough. 902 00:56:50,990 --> 00:56:53,660 We can't eat watermelon at the company picnic, nigga. 903 00:56:53,743 --> 00:56:55,662 We be at the company picnic like, 904 00:56:55,745 --> 00:56:58,998 "You know damn well y'all waiting on me to get that goddamn watermelon. 905 00:56:59,082 --> 00:57:00,500 I ain't doing that." 906 00:57:00,583 --> 00:57:02,752 You like, "Trevor, put some watermelon on your plate 907 00:57:02,836 --> 00:57:04,963 and bring that shit over here for me, man. 908 00:57:05,046 --> 00:57:06,631 I ain't doing that shit." 909 00:57:06,714 --> 00:57:09,801 I wasn't even really upset that Mary J. had sang about chicken. 910 00:57:09,884 --> 00:57:13,763 I was more upset that she Mary J. Bliged the shit more than anything. 911 00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:15,098 You ever hear the song? 912 00:57:15,181 --> 00:57:17,100 ♪ I want some chicken ♪ 913 00:57:17,183 --> 00:57:20,603 ♪ With lettuce Lettuce and cheese ♪ 914 00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:22,939 ♪ I want some chicken ♪ 915 00:57:23,022 --> 00:57:28,361 I'm like, "Mary, no, you didn't just Mary J. that bitch like that." 916 00:57:30,822 --> 00:57:34,242 When I found out she got paid $2 million to sing that song, 917 00:57:34,325 --> 00:57:36,286 I was like, "Shit." 918 00:57:36,369 --> 00:57:38,997 Somebody going to ask me, "Ced, would you do that shit? 919 00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:40,999 Sell out like that for $2 million?" 920 00:57:41,082 --> 00:57:42,917 I'm like, "Nigga, for $2 million, 921 00:57:43,042 --> 00:57:46,671 I'll sing the song as Mary J. Blige, nigga." 922 00:57:46,796 --> 00:57:49,966 I'm talking about boots on and everything. 923 00:57:54,512 --> 00:57:55,972 Whole thing. 924 00:57:58,266 --> 00:58:00,310 $2 million. 925 00:58:00,393 --> 00:58:04,314 I'd sing the chicken national anthem so goddamn well. 926 00:58:04,397 --> 00:58:07,650 You'd look up, nigga, I'd be, ♪ Oh, say ♪ 927 00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:13,198 ♪ Can you see ♪ 928 00:58:13,281 --> 00:58:20,038 ♪ Order me a two-piece ♪ 929 00:58:20,121 --> 00:58:25,668 ♪ With some wings and some pie ♪ 930 00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:31,716 ♪ Oh, yes, I love me some Popeye ♪ 931 00:58:33,384 --> 00:58:38,932 ♪ And I love KFC ♪ 932 00:58:39,015 --> 00:58:44,354 ♪ Church's really do please me ♪ 933 00:58:44,437 --> 00:58:46,814 Hey, Nashville! That's my time, man! 934 00:58:46,898 --> 00:58:48,525 I appreciate y'all. 935 00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,402 Cedric the Entertainer. Thank y'all for being here. 936 00:58:51,486 --> 00:58:53,863 A holler! 937 00:59:02,914 --> 00:59:04,415 Thank y'all! 938 00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:06,042 Appreciate it. 939 00:59:12,298 --> 00:59:13,841 ♪ Give it up for Ced ♪ 940 00:59:13,925 --> 00:59:15,635 - ♪ Cedric ♪ - ♪ Give it up for Ced ♪ 941 00:59:15,718 --> 00:59:16,844 Damn, that's hot. 942 00:59:16,928 --> 00:59:18,304 ♪ Give it up for Ced ♪ 943 00:59:18,388 --> 00:59:19,597 ♪ Cedric ♪ 944 00:59:19,681 --> 00:59:22,892 Bam! I'm center stage. I want to feel it right away. 945 00:59:22,976 --> 00:59:25,019 We can fire it up. Just get like... 946 00:59:25,103 --> 00:59:26,854 ♪ Give it up for Ced ♪ 947 00:59:26,938 --> 00:59:28,523 Does it make it weird? 948 00:59:28,606 --> 00:59:31,067 ♪ The Entertainer ♪ 949 00:59:31,150 --> 00:59:33,528 I'm a great dancer. I was on Soul Train. 950 00:59:33,653 --> 00:59:35,238 I like what's happening, what's goin' on. 951 00:59:36,614 --> 00:59:38,074 Let's check it out. 952 00:59:39,909 --> 00:59:42,245 Yeah, come up, rock, boom, boom. 953 00:59:42,328 --> 00:59:43,580 It's a lot of choreography. 954 00:59:45,790 --> 00:59:47,125 Catch your breath. 955 00:59:53,131 --> 00:59:55,508 Soon as the band starts up, y'all get to rocking though. 956 00:59:55,592 --> 00:59:57,677 They going off. This is it. 957 00:59:57,760 --> 00:59:59,846 It's all right. 958 00:59:59,929 --> 01:00:01,681 It done blazing, right?