1 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:18,804 To all the critics out there, 2 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,306 I know they're going to review this, 3 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,475 and I know they're gonna try to knock me... 4 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,061 is it okay if I say this to camera, Amber? Okay. 5 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,646 I only am who I am 'cause I was born that way. 6 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,148 I have a gift, 7 00:02:29,201 --> 00:02:32,902 and I'm trying not to be selfish about it, but to use it. 8 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:36,030 If you're gonna knock me for that, that's your problem. 9 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,698 Jealousy will get you nowhere. 10 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,242 And I'm gonna keep rockin' on. 11 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,535 Ellen, what's the matter with you? 12 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:25,413 Don't tell mom I'm taking you to your stupid junior prom. 13 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,914 Get out of here! 14 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:29,208 Your brother! How gross is that? 15 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,000 They don't know you're my brother. 16 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:30,877 They don't know you're my brother. 17 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,546 Please, Ben. You have to. I'll pay you. 18 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,715 Find someone who's not related to you. 19 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,385 Loser. 20 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,511 What are you doing here? Aren't you, like, 30? 21 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,596 Come on! 22 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,849 Excuse me, 23 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,227 is there someplace we're supposed to check in? 24 00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,520 Over there. 25 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,940 Is this your first summer? I was here last year. 26 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,999 Remember? We were in 'night, mother together. 27 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,610 Remember? We were in 'night, mother together. 28 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,570 Oh. 29 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,406 You're Jill Simmons. My name's Fritzi. 30 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:07,576 Fritzi. Of course. 31 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,955 Let me. 32 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,134 You have the number at the ship. 33 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,052 Call me whenever you need me. 34 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,971 This is Glen, the camp director. 35 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:29,999 Go to him if you have a problem. 36 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,056 Go to him if you have a problem. 37 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,600 That's enough, mom. You're embarrassing me. 38 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,602 We'll take very good care of him. 39 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,898 Give me a hug. I can't breathe! 40 00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:40,941 Jenna! 41 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,110 My role model in everything nubian. 42 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,570 What are you doing here? 43 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,906 I thought you had to go to weight watchers camp this summer. 44 00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,241 We wanted her to, 45 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:52,578 but she insisted on going back to camp ovation. 46 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,788 So we compromised and had her jaw wired shut. 47 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:57,000 Oh. 48 00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,419 You can hardly tell. 49 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:17,144 Buddy Miller, sports counselor. 50 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,688 We have a sports counselor? 51 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:20,607 Of course we do. 52 00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:23,275 You gonna play some softball this summer? 53 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,277 No. 54 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,463 Aah! Michael! 55 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:46,006 How you doin', babe? 56 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,008 Why weren't you on the bus? 57 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:51,136 My sister drove me here. I'm staying with her. 58 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,638 My god, your face. 59 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,516 He tried to go to his junior prom in fishnets and heels. 60 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,518 My junior prom, 61 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,999 I stayed home with a roll of cookie dough and TV land. 62 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,188 I stayed home with a roll of cookie dough and TV land. 63 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,189 I watched my junior prom 64 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,192 from outside in the bushes for three hours. 65 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,986 That's so Stella Dallas. 66 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,655 Is Bert Hanley really directing here this summer? 67 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,824 Bert Hanley? I thought he retired. 68 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,410 - I thought he died. - He might have. 69 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,495 He was supposed to be here two days ago. 70 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,664 How does that happen? He used to be huge. 71 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,041 He hasn't had a hit since children's crusade. 72 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,501 He never wrote another show. 73 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,504 I hope he directs the benefit this summer. 74 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,756 What are you singing for auditions for the first show? 75 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,000 - Don't rain on my parade. - That's original. 76 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,347 With the tugboat. 77 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,394 What is that supposed to be? 78 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,779 How you doing? 79 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,241 My name's Vlad. 80 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,870 Hi. 81 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,375 Okay if I use those drawers? 82 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,627 You can go into anybody's drawers you like. 83 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,546 I don't think you'll get an argument. 84 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,548 Michael! 85 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,968 Just ignore him. That's what he's used to. 86 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,721 I'm Ellen, this is Shaun 87 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,225 and Spitzer and Michael. 88 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:31,613 Bathroom? 89 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,996 Thirty-foot rule. 90 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,331 - No way! - What's that? 91 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,749 Michael has to stay 30 feet away 92 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,834 until we know if he's straight or gay. 93 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,753 If he's gay, I'm Tyne Daly. 94 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,172 Honey, it's just... 95 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,666 Could someone please shut her up? 96 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,053 Next. 97 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,423 A boy. 98 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:41,928 An honest-to-god straight boy. 99 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:48,935 Cast lists are up. 100 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,606 I will go insane if I don't get into promises, promises. 101 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,776 I'm in it! 102 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,532 Midnight sun? 103 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:18,047 Old. 104 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:29,309 Old. 105 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:35,425 Lost. 106 00:13:35,426 --> 00:13:35,481 Lost. 107 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:40,903 Lost. 108 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:46,658 Two thousand sunsets, yet not one sunrise. 109 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:50,203 No, no, no, no! God damn you all! 110 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,373 You piss on the memory of the greatest playwright 111 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,542 of the 20th century! 112 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,837 In Cuba, we took our lives in our hands performing her work, 113 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,215 waiting for Castro's thugs to burst in and arrest us! 114 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,675 I don't understand what I'm saying. 115 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,425 Of course you don't, you middle-class piece of shit! 116 00:14:05,426 --> 00:14:07,012 Of course you don't, you middle-class piece of shit! 117 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,597 I'm doing the best I can. 118 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,015 That's what's so tragic. 119 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,851 Leave her alone. 120 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,774 How about you, then? 121 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,359 Have you had even one painful moment in your life 122 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,530 since the doctor slapped you on your ass when you were born? 123 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,909 Yeah. Tell me, then. 124 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,119 Tell me your most painful moment, 125 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,039 the one that makes you convulse with sobs when you think of it. 126 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,425 Why would I do that in front of three strangers? 127 00:14:35,426 --> 00:14:36,792 Why would I do that in front of three strangers? 128 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,796 To be able to do it in front of 3,000. 129 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,547 Back to the top, 130 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,591 and try not to screw up the blocking this time. 131 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,887 Eyes, eyes, nostrils, silent scream. 132 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,059 I have to go to the bathroom. 133 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,646 Piss in the dumpster. Start again! 134 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,764 How was your first day of rehearsal? 135 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,308 It was okay. 136 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,772 I'm a little out of my element. 137 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,194 We really do a new show every two weeks? 138 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,697 And a benefit at the end of the summer. 139 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:50,700 Jeez! 140 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:55,120 Ellen said you were her hero today 141 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,039 with that crazy director. 142 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,127 Can I ask you something personal? 143 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,296 What made you come here? 144 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,425 I want to act. Why? 145 00:16:05,426 --> 00:16:07,800 I want to act. Why? 146 00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:12,013 We just don't get many like you. 147 00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:17,142 Can I ask you something personal? 148 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,143 Yeah. 149 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,354 You're gay, right? 150 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,483 How do you know? 151 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:29,988 Have you ever experimented with heterosexuality? 152 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,659 You mean sleep with a straight guy? What for? 153 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:35,426 A girl. 154 00:16:35,426 --> 00:16:35,995 A girl. 155 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:39,247 I can't even straighten my hair. 156 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:43,002 That's too bad. You'd be a total playa. 157 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,673 Got that whole Latin thing going. 158 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:53,178 Get a girl alone, throw on some salsa, 159 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:56,224 whisper a little Spanish in her ear. 160 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,267 You'd make out like a bandit. 161 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,854 I'll keep that in mind. 162 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,569 Is that your father? 163 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,073 That's Stephen Sondheim. 164 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,079 The greatest songwriter in musical theater. 165 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,626 I don't talk to my parents. 166 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:27,879 - Why not? - Enough. 167 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,381 I have to keep some kind of mystery. 168 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,051 You'll grow bored with me and move on to someone younger. 169 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,425 - Good night, Mike. - 'Night, Vlad. 170 00:17:35,426 --> 00:17:37,223 - Good night, Mike. - 'Night, Vlad. 171 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,065 Did he call me Mike? 172 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,267 Can I help you? 173 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,312 I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go. 174 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:29,024 - I'm Bert Hanley. - Bert Hanley? It's about time. 175 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,150 Where have you been? 176 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,320 You were supposed to be here two days ago. 177 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:37,282 You're right. What's the use in lying? 178 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,659 I've been drinking for 72 hours. 179 00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,453 You've been drinking? 180 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:41,674 Not the way you make it sound when you say, "drinking?!" 181 00:18:41,675 --> 00:18:45,790 Not the way you make it sound when you say, "drinking?!" 182 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,793 I'm fine now, really. 183 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:53,299 Let's get started. I'll get those. 184 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:58,846 I assumed that we would have some adult time to ourselves. 185 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,811 What show am I doing, anyway? 186 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,127 Hi! 187 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,422 Hi. 188 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,597 My name's Vlad. 189 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,601 I don't mean to bother you or anything. 190 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,673 I just wanted to tell you how excited I am that you're here. 191 00:21:11,674 --> 00:21:14,648 I just wanted to tell you how excited I am that you're here. 192 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:19,319 I did a production of the children's crusade 193 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,155 at school this spring. 194 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,283 And, uh... 195 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,329 At first I did it just to get close to this girl. 196 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:31,289 But then it was so good. 197 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:35,376 It really took the characters of the kids so seriously. 198 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:39,464 That's really kind of you to say. 199 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,466 That song I sing for you, 200 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:41,674 I listened to the record, like, a hundred times 201 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,635 I listened to the record, like, a hundred times 202 00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:47,180 just to get the chords right on my guitar. 203 00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:50,350 It's not out on cd. Did you know that? 204 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,728 Yeah, I knew that. 205 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,191 So, what shows have you done since then, Mr. Hanley? 206 00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:02,237 Thank you very much for coming by to visit, Vlad. 207 00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:06,574 Thank you. Just give me a break. 208 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:07,700 You little ass-kisser. 209 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,328 One, two, three, four. 210 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,000 Quit dragging! 211 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:18,836 Y'all better get your asses used to less sleep 212 00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:22,215 'cause we're gonna have rehearsal all morning. 213 00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:26,511 Then lunch, then rehearsal. 214 00:22:26,512 --> 00:22:29,514 Then dinner, then rehearsal. 215 00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:33,184 And the whole thing starts all over again the next day. 216 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,728 Miss Allen, we've all seen the beginning of fame. 217 00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:38,106 Ooh! Ooh! 218 00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,568 Fame, huh? 219 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:52,203 They do that on fame? 220 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,872 No. 221 00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:58,210 Again! One, two, three, four. 222 00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,133 'Night, Jenna. 223 00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,468 'Night, Ellen. 224 00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,137 Shut up! Start again! 225 00:23:09,138 --> 00:23:11,673 Eyes, eyes, nostrils! Silent scream! 226 00:23:11,674 --> 00:23:12,391 Eyes, eyes, nostrils! Silent scream! 227 00:23:20,482 --> 00:23:22,401 You're really talented. 228 00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:27,614 I don't understand a single word of this crap, 229 00:23:27,615 --> 00:23:29,908 but you do it with such conviction. 230 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:38,917 So... 231 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,756 A guy like you could have a really lucky summer 232 00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,592 in a place like this, huh? 233 00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,767 I'm starting to get that idea. 234 00:23:56,310 --> 00:24:00,606 Hey, look. First star. I know my wish. 235 00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,485 Changing the subject. 236 00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:08,488 Do you have any brothers or sisters? 237 00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:11,673 Four brothers... Two older, two younger. 238 00:24:11,674 --> 00:24:13,160 Four brothers... Two older, two younger. 239 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:18,373 Must be tough when the middle child is the special one. 240 00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:20,166 Throws everything out of whack. 241 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,960 Special? Yeah. 242 00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:24,128 I don't even remember the last time 243 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:26,632 my parents called me by the right name. 244 00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:32,512 You don't think you're special? 245 00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:33,681 No. 246 00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,892 I mean, seriously. 247 00:24:39,353 --> 00:24:41,673 I don't mean like dorky boy-band kind of special, 248 00:24:41,674 --> 00:24:42,314 I don't mean like dorky boy-band kind of special, 249 00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,900 which I'm sure you get all the time, but... 250 00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:48,153 There's something really there. 251 00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:51,573 Something substantial. 252 00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:56,495 And you deserve something substantial in return. 253 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:05,420 God. Somebody hit me with a rock so I shut up. 254 00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:06,505 No. 255 00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,009 Made me feel great. 256 00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:22,229 It's cold. 257 00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:24,898 Come here. 258 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:27,526 That worked. 259 00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:34,783 It's 10 A.M. everybody should be in class. 260 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:26,645 Here we are. 261 00:27:28,814 --> 00:27:30,148 Jeez. 262 00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:31,692 Be it ever so humble... 263 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:35,820 What's up, Fritzi? 264 00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:36,863 Would you like Fritzi 265 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:39,700 to fix you a bug juice or something? 266 00:27:43,412 --> 00:27:45,080 No. 267 00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:52,671 Leave us. 268 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,720 Bye, Fritz. 269 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,895 Does she work for you now? 270 00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:11,272 She likes to do little things for me. 271 00:28:11,273 --> 00:28:11,674 It makes her feel like she belongs. 272 00:28:11,675 --> 00:28:13,691 It makes her feel like she belongs. 273 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:16,903 I'm supposed to be running lines with Ellen. 274 00:28:16,904 --> 00:28:18,905 She'll have the whole summer to do 275 00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:23,076 that brother-sister bonding thing she does with all the boys. 276 00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:56,234 Sit. 277 00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:10,415 You said you had a fantastic surprise for me. 278 00:29:11,667 --> 00:29:11,674 What is it? 279 00:29:11,675 --> 00:29:12,918 What is it? 280 00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:15,128 Surprise. 281 00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:24,762 I'm going to ask if I can dance with Stella jolla 282 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,764 in the "Turkey lurkey" number. 283 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:29,684 I've been practicing really hard. 284 00:29:29,685 --> 00:29:31,769 That's the part Jill wants to play. 285 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:34,105 "Turkey lurkey" is the best number in the show. 286 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:35,815 I know. 287 00:29:35,816 --> 00:29:39,443 I took dance classes all winter. 288 00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:40,444 Good for you. 289 00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:41,673 Um... 290 00:29:41,674 --> 00:29:41,947 Um... 291 00:29:41,948 --> 00:29:44,865 The only thing is, it's a '60s show. 292 00:29:44,866 --> 00:29:46,283 That means tight little miniskirts. 293 00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:47,994 I'm just trying to be a friend. 294 00:29:47,995 --> 00:29:49,453 What are you saying, 295 00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:51,455 that everyone would see my legs? 296 00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:54,834 Not that they're so bad. They're just a little chunky. 297 00:29:54,835 --> 00:29:57,003 But the halter tops. 298 00:29:57,004 --> 00:29:58,963 I'd worry about my rolls 299 00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:00,631 jiggling around in the spotlight. 300 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:03,801 Whereas the secretary character has some great one-liners 301 00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:05,804 and wears sensible suits. 302 00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,186 We just love it here. 303 00:30:14,187 --> 00:30:16,522 We see a show every summer. 304 00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:20,026 What did we see the kids do last year? 305 00:30:20,027 --> 00:30:21,068 Wit. 306 00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:22,653 Wit, right. 307 00:30:22,654 --> 00:30:24,906 Dark, but really entertaining. 308 00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:44,189 Sadness. 309 00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:52,697 Vlad, your cat's dead. I'm sorry. 310 00:33:53,615 --> 00:33:57,368 He was hit by a car this afternoon. 311 00:33:57,369 --> 00:34:01,038 Vlad, your mom's dead. I'm sorry. 312 00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:04,376 She got nailed by a car this afternoon. 313 00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:13,759 Sorry. 314 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,221 I like to practice in the mirror. 315 00:34:23,144 --> 00:34:24,896 Your parents coming to your show? 316 00:34:26,815 --> 00:34:28,732 Jesus, you still haven't called 'em? 317 00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:30,901 What are you going to do when you have to go home? 318 00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:32,111 I'm not going home. 319 00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:33,445 Where you going to live? 320 00:34:33,446 --> 00:34:35,239 I'll find an apartment. 321 00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:37,408 You'll end up on a milk carton. 322 00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:39,285 They haven't called me, either. 323 00:34:39,286 --> 00:34:41,673 How much you wanna bet they don't call me on my birthday? 324 00:34:41,674 --> 00:34:42,955 How much you wanna bet they don't call me on my birthday? 325 00:34:42,956 --> 00:34:44,666 Then you have to be bigger than them. 326 00:34:46,334 --> 00:34:48,085 Mike, 327 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:50,797 how often are you going to get cast as Romeo? 328 00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:54,258 I mean it. Call 'em. 329 00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:57,428 Besides, who can resist you in them tights? 330 00:34:57,429 --> 00:35:01,515 Are you blushing? You kidding? 331 00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:04,977 I'm doing everything but bat my eyes. 332 00:35:04,978 --> 00:35:05,979 Call 'em. 333 00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:19,200 Hey! 334 00:35:19,201 --> 00:35:21,285 Buddy Miller, sports counselor. 335 00:35:21,286 --> 00:35:22,536 Remember me? 336 00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:23,955 Think fast. 337 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,207 Ow! 338 00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:36,216 "Dear Mr. Flores, the school has determined that 339 00:35:36,217 --> 00:35:37,938 "due to your refusal to wear either a tuxedo 340 00:35:37,939 --> 00:35:39,136 "due to your refusal to wear either a tuxedo 341 00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:40,804 "or an ankle-length formal gown, 342 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:42,473 "you failed to meet the dress code, 343 00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:44,975 "and therefore appropriate action was taken 344 00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:47,478 in refusing you entrance to this year's junior prom." 345 00:35:47,479 --> 00:35:50,022 You didn't get in because of your hemline? 346 00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:52,066 Vlad! 347 00:35:52,067 --> 00:35:54,319 I've been looking all over for you. 348 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:06,664 What are you drinking? 349 00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:07,938 Chicken breast. 350 00:36:07,939 --> 00:36:08,083 Chicken breast. 351 00:36:08,084 --> 00:36:10,000 Don't you think that's a little extreme? 352 00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:12,503 It's her parents' idea, the pricks. 353 00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:13,754 Ow! 354 00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:15,506 It's like some Nazi experiment. 355 00:36:15,507 --> 00:36:17,257 They're just looking out for me. 356 00:36:17,258 --> 00:36:19,344 You're only a few pounds heavier than Ellen. 357 00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:25,516 Tell me something... Isn't it a pain in the ass 358 00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:28,686 to put on all that makeup every day? 359 00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:31,605 I don't mind the extra effort so people have something nice to look at. 360 00:36:31,606 --> 00:36:33,941 I think she looks wonderful. We know! 361 00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:36,193 Looking good to attract the opposite sex 362 00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:37,938 has been a basic human impulse for almost a thousand years. 363 00:36:37,939 --> 00:36:39,738 Has been a basic human impulse for almost a thousand years. 364 00:36:39,739 --> 00:36:41,281 What about before that? 365 00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:42,783 However old the world is. 366 00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:45,369 You know, maybe if you'd soften up a little, 367 00:36:45,370 --> 00:36:47,746 you'd land yourself a boyfriend 368 00:36:47,747 --> 00:36:50,707 and lose that hostile edge that's so unattractive. 369 00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:53,043 Drop dead. That's the one. 370 00:36:53,044 --> 00:36:56,755 I'd be happy to help. You could be my project. 371 00:36:56,756 --> 00:36:58,966 I'll put you on a diet. I'll style your hair. 372 00:36:58,967 --> 00:37:00,300 Enough. 373 00:37:00,301 --> 00:37:01,927 I heard about your little line-learning session. 374 00:37:01,928 --> 00:37:04,388 You got Vlad to put his arm around you. 375 00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:07,558 That must be like third base for someone 376 00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:07,939 who's never been touched by a boy, isn't it? 377 00:37:07,940 --> 00:37:10,270 Who's never been touched by a boy, isn't it? 378 00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:18,069 Ellen, wait. 379 00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:22,073 Where do you think you're going? 380 00:37:23,408 --> 00:37:26,828 You know, I think I know your sister cinderella. 381 00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:44,845 There you are. 382 00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:47,931 You disappeared so fast. I looked everywhere for you. 383 00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:49,934 Where's your girlfriend? 384 00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:53,104 She's not my girlfriend. 385 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:57,484 Why'd you come after me? 386 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:01,488 I don't know. 387 00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:04,282 'Cause you were upset. 388 00:38:06,367 --> 00:38:07,938 She's a bitch. So was I. 389 00:38:07,939 --> 00:38:08,953 She's a bitch. So was I. 390 00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:11,289 No. 391 00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:21,007 I like you, Ellen. 392 00:38:37,524 --> 00:38:37,939 I like you, too. 393 00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:39,150 I like you, too. 394 00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:42,487 Okay. 395 00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:46,658 Yeah. 396 00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:54,498 What is it that we're listening to, anyway? 397 00:38:54,499 --> 00:38:56,334 Nothing. 398 00:38:57,752 --> 00:38:59,378 I can't deal with this anymore. 399 00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:03,257 What? I like regular music, too. 400 00:39:03,258 --> 00:39:07,511 I like joni Mitchell. I know every album by heart. 401 00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:07,939 They have this great new thing called drums. 402 00:39:07,940 --> 00:39:09,847 They have this great new thing called drums. 403 00:39:09,848 --> 00:39:11,432 You're gonna love it. 404 00:39:26,531 --> 00:39:28,700 What's so special about this? 405 00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:32,411 Sometimes it's nice not to be special. 406 00:39:32,412 --> 00:39:35,539 Sometimes it's nice to listen to what everyone else listens to 407 00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:36,874 just to be normal for once. 408 00:39:38,751 --> 00:39:40,210 Dance with me. 409 00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:41,879 Jump off the roof. 410 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,465 Come on, dance with me. 411 00:39:53,975 --> 00:39:54,976 Asshole! 412 00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:57,561 Just kidding. 413 00:39:57,562 --> 00:39:58,730 Just kidding. 414 00:40:29,677 --> 00:40:31,470 Fiddler on the roof? 415 00:40:31,471 --> 00:40:34,431 This is the last straw. Look at us. 416 00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:36,683 Do we look like any Jews you know? 417 00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:37,938 You could be sephardic. 418 00:40:37,939 --> 00:40:38,853 You could be sephardic. 419 00:40:38,854 --> 00:40:42,773 Look at those curly things on petie. 420 00:40:42,774 --> 00:40:45,609 I don't think motel the tailor used a lot of hair relaxer. 421 00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:49,363 It's color-blind casting. What do you want me to do? 422 00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:51,531 Porgy and Bess? Bring in 'da noise? 423 00:40:51,532 --> 00:40:53,533 Why do we have to play white characters 424 00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:55,619 show after show, summer after summer? 425 00:40:55,620 --> 00:40:57,871 I don't have enough black kids to do an all-black show. 426 00:40:57,872 --> 00:40:59,623 I want my little brother learning 427 00:40:59,624 --> 00:41:01,875 he can be himself and still get applause. 428 00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:04,294 You know what I'm saying? 429 00:41:04,295 --> 00:41:06,464 Now, what are you gonna do about it? 430 00:42:22,582 --> 00:42:23,708 Skateboarding? 431 00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:26,960 For someone with a name like Vladimir, 432 00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:29,713 you sure are a clichéd American teenager. 433 00:42:29,714 --> 00:42:32,382 If you don't like it, stop watching. 434 00:42:32,383 --> 00:42:33,759 I'm not. 435 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,053 I'm reading. 436 00:42:53,738 --> 00:42:56,823 Sorry. I'm only human. 437 00:42:56,824 --> 00:42:59,076 Call your parents, Romeo. 438 00:43:00,453 --> 00:43:01,829 Get 'em up here. 439 00:44:27,164 --> 00:44:28,165 I envy you. 440 00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:35,047 You've probably known what you wanted to do since you were born. 441 00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:43,889 When I was eight years old, 442 00:44:43,890 --> 00:44:46,933 I asked my father to send me to acting class. 443 00:44:46,934 --> 00:44:48,603 And you know what he said? 444 00:44:49,854 --> 00:44:53,773 "There are five billion people in this world. 445 00:44:53,774 --> 00:44:56,860 "If only 1/10th of 1% of them want to be actors, 446 00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:59,614 "that's still five million people. 447 00:45:01,407 --> 00:45:04,577 "Do you really think you're prettier than five million people? 448 00:45:06,871 --> 00:45:09,582 You're not even the prettiest one in your class." 449 00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:18,966 I think you're very pretty. 450 00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:28,392 God. 451 00:45:30,978 --> 00:45:32,980 Why should that make me want to cry? 452 00:45:41,405 --> 00:45:43,407 I would've asked you to your prom. 453 00:46:17,316 --> 00:46:18,609 Mom. 454 00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:20,987 Hi. 455 00:46:21,946 --> 00:46:23,781 I'm sorry, did I wake you up? 456 00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:33,624 It's nice to hear your voice, too. 457 00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:39,964 I miss you too, mom. 458 00:46:49,181 --> 00:46:51,308 Can you guys come see my show? 459 00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:54,812 Great. 460 00:47:03,654 --> 00:47:05,321 New cast lists are up. 461 00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:07,992 I got joanne in company. You're in it, too. 462 00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:15,166 What are you doing? 463 00:47:16,834 --> 00:47:17,835 Nothing. 464 00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:20,337 What is that? 465 00:47:23,758 --> 00:47:25,341 Is that my underwear? 466 00:47:25,342 --> 00:47:27,344 I was just washing them out. 467 00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,681 We need to talk. 468 00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:36,269 I think we need a little break from each other. 469 00:47:36,270 --> 00:47:38,021 What? 470 00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:39,356 It's something I've been meaning 471 00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:41,566 to bring up for a while now. 472 00:47:41,567 --> 00:47:44,944 This whole thing is beginning to get a little weird. 473 00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:46,362 I don't understand. 474 00:47:46,363 --> 00:47:48,198 I've done everything you've asked me to. 475 00:47:48,199 --> 00:47:50,575 I know, and it's been a great help, 476 00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:53,119 but the time has come for you to get 477 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:54,580 some sort of life. 478 00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:58,541 I have a life. Get another one. 479 00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:00,752 I don't know why you're saying this. 480 00:48:00,753 --> 00:48:00,847 I can be better. You're not hearing me. 481 00:48:00,848 --> 00:48:02,587 I can be better. You're not hearing me. 482 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,714 Test me. I'll do anything you say. 483 00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:07,051 You're my best friend! Get away from me, you freak! 484 00:48:11,097 --> 00:48:12,722 From now on, 485 00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:15,767 let's just go about our business and pretend like we never met. 486 00:48:15,768 --> 00:48:17,394 Okay? 487 00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:18,895 I'm going out. 488 00:48:18,896 --> 00:48:21,273 Why don't you be gone when I get back. 489 00:48:35,162 --> 00:48:37,331 You ready for our big opening night? 490 00:48:41,085 --> 00:48:44,170 You're very intense back there in the chorus. 491 00:48:44,171 --> 00:48:46,756 Is everything okay? 492 00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:48,592 I'm a little frustrated. 493 00:48:50,594 --> 00:48:53,346 Frustration's a useless emotion. 494 00:48:53,347 --> 00:48:56,599 If you see something you want, you just got to go for it. 495 00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:57,977 Easy to say. 496 00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:00,846 It's better to regret something you have done 497 00:49:00,847 --> 00:49:02,105 it's better to regret something you have done 498 00:49:02,106 --> 00:49:04,107 than something you haven't done. 499 00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:06,777 Trust me, I'm the expert. Really? 500 00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:09,320 I've been watching you, 501 00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:13,158 and you are a scary little girl. 502 00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,953 There's nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it. 503 00:49:19,707 --> 00:49:22,167 Thank you, Mr. Hanley. 504 00:49:22,168 --> 00:49:23,961 You've been very helpful. 505 00:49:30,801 --> 00:49:30,847 Lunch is now being served. 506 00:49:30,848 --> 00:49:33,720 Lunch is now being served. 507 00:49:33,721 --> 00:49:35,723 Everybody should be at lunch. 508 00:50:13,219 --> 00:50:16,347 I'd like to propose a toast. 509 00:50:55,928 --> 00:50:58,221 I'm going to call it off. I think you'd better. 510 00:50:58,222 --> 00:50:59,223 Wait. 511 00:51:02,142 --> 00:51:04,143 What in the hell are you doing here? 512 00:51:04,144 --> 00:51:06,646 I knew you'd be discussing stopping the show, 513 00:51:06,647 --> 00:51:09,274 and I just thought how disappointed the kids would be. 514 00:51:09,275 --> 00:51:11,150 You scheming little bitch! 515 00:51:11,151 --> 00:51:13,444 Please! I'm a child. 516 00:51:13,445 --> 00:51:15,071 If you think for one... 517 00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:16,447 Save the speech, rummy. 518 00:51:16,448 --> 00:51:18,408 She's fucked, I'm ready, 519 00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:20,743 and the goddamn show must go on. 520 00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:23,080 So let's get cracking, shall we? 521 00:52:01,453 --> 00:52:03,871 Aah! 522 00:53:10,062 --> 00:53:14,190 Two households, both alike in dignity 523 00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:17,693 in fair verona, where we lay our scene. 524 00:53:17,694 --> 00:53:21,239 From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, 525 00:53:21,240 --> 00:53:25,452 where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. 526 00:53:34,378 --> 00:53:36,516 Romeo, come forth. 527 00:53:36,517 --> 00:53:37,713 Romeo, come forth. 528 00:53:37,714 --> 00:53:40,466 Come forth, thou fearful man. 529 00:53:40,467 --> 00:53:43,302 Affliction is enamored of thy parts 530 00:53:43,303 --> 00:53:46,223 and thou art wedded to calamity. 531 00:53:47,474 --> 00:53:50,268 Father, 'tis I, Romeo. 532 00:53:50,269 --> 00:53:53,396 What news? What is the prince's doom? 533 00:53:53,397 --> 00:53:55,482 What sorrow craves acquaintance... 534 00:54:11,248 --> 00:54:14,293 Tell me, chino... 535 00:54:16,420 --> 00:54:19,173 How many bullets are left in this gun? 536 00:54:22,426 --> 00:54:26,596 Enough for you? And you? And you? 537 00:54:26,597 --> 00:54:28,097 How many can I shoot 538 00:54:28,098 --> 00:54:30,309 and still have one left for me? 539 00:54:59,129 --> 00:55:00,672 Michael! 540 00:55:03,842 --> 00:55:05,469 Michael, where are you? 541 00:55:16,647 --> 00:55:17,648 Michael. 542 00:55:20,526 --> 00:55:23,654 Dude, we looked all over for you. 543 00:55:26,156 --> 00:55:27,658 I heard about what happened. 544 00:55:29,201 --> 00:55:31,328 I called them afterwards... 545 00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:35,081 To make sure they weren't dead somewhere 546 00:55:35,082 --> 00:55:36,516 on the New York state thruway. 547 00:55:36,517 --> 00:55:37,084 On the New York state thruway. 548 00:55:42,047 --> 00:55:45,050 My father decided he couldn't put himself through seeing me. 549 00:55:46,718 --> 00:55:48,387 What does that even mean? 550 00:55:49,513 --> 00:55:52,181 It means they think I'm a freak, 551 00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:54,518 like the kids at my school. 552 00:55:57,354 --> 00:56:00,357 Let's face it, even here I'm in the upper third. 553 00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:06,516 Why don't you live at home? 554 00:56:06,517 --> 00:56:06,780 Why don't you live at home? 555 00:56:08,031 --> 00:56:09,699 Prom night, 556 00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:13,036 my father looked at me bleeding in a dress. 557 00:56:14,246 --> 00:56:16,414 He told me I brought it upon myself. 558 00:56:16,415 --> 00:56:19,417 He said that if I did that when he were in school, 559 00:56:19,418 --> 00:56:22,545 he'd have been one of those boys kicking my ass, too. 560 00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:24,297 That's crazy. 561 00:56:24,298 --> 00:56:26,549 When it was happening, 562 00:56:26,550 --> 00:56:32,430 I just projected myself out of it, 563 00:56:32,431 --> 00:56:35,726 and in my head I went somewhere else. 564 00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:38,562 Where? 565 00:56:42,899 --> 00:56:45,068 Here. 566 00:56:50,616 --> 00:56:53,409 Why would you wear a dress to your prom, dude? 567 00:56:53,410 --> 00:56:55,077 You had to know 568 00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:56,746 you were going to get creamed. 569 00:56:56,747 --> 00:56:58,581 I don't get that. 570 00:56:58,582 --> 00:57:00,417 Of course you don't get that. 571 00:57:01,835 --> 00:57:03,461 That's because your life 572 00:57:03,462 --> 00:57:05,422 is pretty damn close to perfect. 573 00:57:06,798 --> 00:57:10,677 Mine is like, one from column "a," one from column "shit." 574 00:57:12,596 --> 00:57:14,264 Perfect. 575 00:57:21,605 --> 00:57:24,440 How about this? 576 00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:27,485 3, 4, 6, 1, 3, 4, 6, 4, 10, 577 00:57:27,486 --> 00:57:30,780 4, 14, 3, 17, 1, 18, 578 00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:35,034 6, 24, 4, 28, 3, 31, 4. 579 00:57:35,035 --> 00:57:36,516 What's that? 580 00:57:36,517 --> 00:57:36,620 What's that? 581 00:57:36,621 --> 00:57:38,455 Have you ever heard of ocd? 582 00:57:40,165 --> 00:57:41,832 I count letters involuntarily. 583 00:57:41,833 --> 00:57:43,668 That was "one from column 'a, ' 584 00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:45,628 one from column 'shit.'" 585 00:57:45,629 --> 00:57:47,296 I don't understand. 586 00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:48,631 It's like, 587 00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:50,633 if I don't take my pill, 588 00:57:50,634 --> 00:57:53,010 then every time someone speaks, 589 00:57:53,011 --> 00:57:55,471 or if I have an idea, 590 00:57:55,472 --> 00:57:57,723 or if somebody talks... 591 00:57:57,724 --> 00:57:59,517 Anything... 592 00:57:59,518 --> 00:58:02,853 I break it down into words, then into letters, 593 00:58:02,854 --> 00:58:04,648 and I add them up. 594 00:58:06,149 --> 00:58:06,517 3, 1, 3, 4, 2. "And I add them up." 595 00:58:06,518 --> 00:58:11,237 3, 1, 3, 4, 2. "And I add them up." 596 00:58:11,238 --> 00:58:14,865 I take those numbers, and I add them up backwards. 597 00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:19,495 3, 1, 3, 4, 2 was 6, 3, 9, 1, 10, 3, 13, 4. 598 00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:21,497 The last word plus the word before that, 599 00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:24,000 plus the word before that, and on and on... 600 00:58:25,711 --> 00:58:27,670 Till it ends in a prime number. 601 00:58:27,671 --> 00:58:30,882 It's, like, constantly in my head. 602 00:58:31,883 --> 00:58:34,343 I take it all back. 603 00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:36,346 That's the sickest thing I ever heard. 604 00:58:38,014 --> 00:58:39,015 I know. 605 00:58:40,225 --> 00:58:42,853 It's weird 'cause it's, like, it's just there. 606 00:58:45,063 --> 00:58:48,608 3, 4, 5, 9, 3, 12, 3. "It's just there." 607 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:50,861 Whoa! 608 00:58:54,698 --> 00:58:57,576 It's crazy. Oh, my god. 609 00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:08,419 That's why I act. 610 00:59:08,420 --> 00:59:10,255 That's why I want to be an actor. 611 00:59:11,715 --> 00:59:13,215 'Cause when I'm acting, 612 00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:16,052 it's not there if it's really going good, 613 00:59:16,053 --> 00:59:17,595 you know? 614 00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:19,598 It's like the character doesn't have it... 615 00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:24,644 So I don't have it. 616 00:59:42,746 --> 00:59:45,957 A teenage Prozac junkie. 617 00:59:48,251 --> 00:59:50,754 That's my perfect life. 618 01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:02,641 I guess we're both freaks. 619 01:00:04,684 --> 01:00:05,685 Well... 620 01:00:07,687 --> 01:00:10,314 You can take a pill for yours. 621 01:00:10,315 --> 01:00:14,610 I'm still some teenage drag queen 622 01:00:14,611 --> 01:00:16,612 with bad skin 623 01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:18,155 who can't put on a dress 624 01:00:18,156 --> 01:00:19,991 without getting the crap beat out of him. 625 01:00:27,374 --> 01:00:29,125 Let's get out of here, man. 626 01:00:41,972 --> 01:00:46,141 Good morning, campers. Time to rise and shine. 627 01:00:46,142 --> 01:00:47,977 Today's wake-up song 628 01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:50,354 is a special birthday dedication 629 01:00:50,355 --> 01:00:53,732 to Michael Flores. 630 01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:55,694 Happy birthday, Michael. 631 01:01:00,407 --> 01:01:03,201 Surprise! 632 01:01:05,036 --> 01:01:06,516 Happy birthday! 633 01:01:06,517 --> 01:01:07,664 Happy birthday! 634 01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:21,760 Oh, my god, look at you! 635 01:01:30,937 --> 01:01:32,563 The only thing I have to say is, 636 01:01:32,564 --> 01:01:33,898 the hair on my legs better grow back, 637 01:01:33,899 --> 01:01:35,941 or else somebody's getting sued. 638 01:01:40,906 --> 01:01:42,364 Surprise! 639 01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:45,868 Drag kings "r" us! 640 01:02:03,219 --> 01:02:04,596 Make a wish. 641 01:02:05,889 --> 01:02:06,517 Right at this moment, I have everything I want. 642 01:02:06,518 --> 01:02:09,808 Right at this moment, I have everything I want. 643 01:02:09,809 --> 01:02:10,810 So... 644 01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:14,772 I'll give this wish to you guys. 645 01:02:14,773 --> 01:02:17,400 Ohh! 646 01:04:19,397 --> 01:04:20,898 Who are you people? 647 01:04:20,899 --> 01:04:23,860 What planet did you beam down from? 648 01:04:27,072 --> 01:04:29,032 I'm serious. 649 01:04:30,075 --> 01:04:32,034 If I can teach you one thing, 650 01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:35,038 which is supposed to be my job here... 651 01:04:35,955 --> 01:04:36,517 It'd be that you should all go home. 652 01:04:36,518 --> 01:04:39,042 It'd be that you should all go home. 653 01:04:40,251 --> 01:04:45,047 Michael Bennett's dead. Bob fosse is dead. 654 01:04:45,048 --> 01:04:48,885 Times Square is a theme park now. 655 01:04:51,096 --> 01:04:52,888 I hate to be the grinch, 656 01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:56,058 but it's not normal what goes on up here. 657 01:04:56,059 --> 01:04:59,061 Somebody has got to warn you. 658 01:04:59,062 --> 01:05:02,315 Teenage fag hags become adult fag hags. 659 01:05:04,150 --> 01:05:05,484 Straight boys are straight. 660 01:05:05,485 --> 01:05:06,516 You can't turn 'em just because you need to be loved. 661 01:05:06,517 --> 01:05:09,321 You can't turn 'em just because you need to be loved. 662 01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:11,406 The foundation that's being laid here 663 01:05:11,407 --> 01:05:14,993 is not going to help you in the real world. 664 01:05:14,994 --> 01:05:17,079 It's going to lead to waitressing jobs 665 01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,915 and bitterness 666 01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:24,253 and the obsessive, pointless collecting 667 01:05:24,254 --> 01:05:28,925 of out-of-print original cast albums. 668 01:05:33,930 --> 01:05:35,931 Mr. Hanley? 669 01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:37,267 Mr. Hanley? 670 01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:42,980 Look, I don't know what your problem is, and I don't really care. 671 01:05:42,981 --> 01:05:44,439 Maybe you're a son of a bitch 672 01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:46,024 just 'cause you haven't written a show 673 01:05:46,025 --> 01:05:47,943 in, like, a million years. 674 01:05:47,944 --> 01:05:49,862 Or maybe you're just a stupid drunk, 675 01:05:49,863 --> 01:05:52,030 but those kids, they look up to you. 676 01:05:52,031 --> 01:05:54,449 And they don't deserve to be treated like that. 677 01:05:54,450 --> 01:05:55,534 "They"? 678 01:05:55,535 --> 01:05:57,953 Did you think I wasn't talking to you, too? 679 01:05:57,954 --> 01:05:59,329 Or did I forget to mention that 680 01:05:59,330 --> 01:06:02,553 you're a fraud who has to be everybody's golden boy, 681 01:06:02,554 --> 01:06:02,876 you're a fraud who has to be everybody's golden boy, 682 01:06:02,877 --> 01:06:04,668 or you'll just shrivel up? 683 01:06:04,669 --> 01:06:06,461 I've taken shots at drunks before. 684 01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:08,630 Don't think I have some honor code about it. 685 01:06:08,631 --> 01:06:10,132 Bring it on. 686 01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:11,884 Bring... 687 01:06:11,885 --> 01:06:13,468 What is your problem? 688 01:06:13,469 --> 01:06:15,054 I don't have a problem. 689 01:06:16,806 --> 01:06:19,183 There's a theater in Brooklyn that's got a problem. 690 01:06:19,184 --> 01:06:22,144 Seems they need a rehearsal pianist, 691 01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:26,481 and they thought I might just be hard up enough to oblige. 692 01:06:26,482 --> 01:06:30,152 So I sit in hot, stinking traffic for three hours 693 01:06:30,153 --> 01:06:32,404 just to drive down there to find out it's not 694 01:06:32,405 --> 01:06:32,554 the 200th revival of my one hit show they wanted. 695 01:06:32,555 --> 01:06:36,074 The 200th revival of my one hit show they wanted. 696 01:06:36,075 --> 01:06:38,160 You should never meet your heroes. 697 01:06:38,161 --> 01:06:40,204 They always disappoint you. 698 01:06:40,205 --> 01:06:43,041 Come on, kid. Come here. Help me out. 699 01:06:44,500 --> 01:06:46,085 I think I'm going to be sick. 700 01:06:50,673 --> 01:06:52,716 Oh, Jesus! 701 01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:53,718 God! 702 01:06:58,264 --> 01:06:59,891 Ohh! 703 01:07:43,309 --> 01:07:45,227 Get it away. 704 01:07:45,228 --> 01:07:47,271 You don't even know what it is. 705 01:07:47,272 --> 01:07:48,438 I don't care. 706 01:07:48,439 --> 01:07:50,733 If it's been touched by him, it's diseased. 707 01:07:53,736 --> 01:07:55,655 - Oh, my god. - Spit. 708 01:08:00,243 --> 01:08:02,553 It's everything he's written since the children's crusade. 709 01:08:02,554 --> 01:08:02,996 It's everything he's written since the children's crusade. 710 01:08:02,997 --> 01:08:05,247 There's a ton more at his place. 711 01:08:05,248 --> 01:08:08,251 It's like the holy grail of musical theater. 712 01:08:10,128 --> 01:08:12,129 This one doesn't look so good. 713 01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:16,300 Some are lousy, but most of 'em are great. 714 01:08:16,301 --> 01:08:18,844 It's like they don't even seem like they're from shows. 715 01:08:18,845 --> 01:08:21,263 They're just songs he wrote. 716 01:08:21,264 --> 01:08:23,141 There's funk, gospel. 717 01:08:24,267 --> 01:08:28,104 There's this awesome, rootsy Neil young song. 718 01:08:30,356 --> 01:08:32,025 Come on. Neil young? 719 01:08:35,612 --> 01:08:39,197 He doesn't know I took 'em. They're just copies. 720 01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:40,949 What are you going to do with them? 721 01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:43,785 What time's that benefit rehearsal start tomorrow? 722 01:08:43,786 --> 01:08:46,204 12:00 to 3:00. 723 01:08:46,205 --> 01:08:47,539 That's it? 724 01:08:47,540 --> 01:08:49,624 Ever since Michael's drag party, 725 01:08:49,625 --> 01:08:51,043 Glen's been on a crusade 726 01:08:51,044 --> 01:08:52,628 to make us more like a normal camp, 727 01:08:52,629 --> 01:08:56,214 so he's cutting back the benefit rehearsals to three hours a day. 728 01:08:56,215 --> 01:08:58,633 That's enough time. 729 01:08:58,634 --> 01:08:59,718 Time for what? 730 01:08:59,719 --> 01:09:02,220 He'll be late. He's always late. 731 01:09:02,221 --> 01:09:02,554 For...? 732 01:09:02,554 --> 01:09:03,222 For...? 733 01:09:04,307 --> 01:09:05,308 Come on. 734 01:14:05,107 --> 01:14:07,942 I ever tell you we did the children's crusade? 735 01:14:07,943 --> 01:14:11,529 Five summers ago. It was good. 736 01:14:11,530 --> 01:14:16,368 The kids want to do a revue of my music for the benefit. 737 01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:18,954 Yeah, I heard. What'd you tell them? 738 01:14:20,039 --> 01:14:23,458 - I told them yeah. - Good. I'm glad. 739 01:14:23,459 --> 01:14:25,960 But not on three hours' rehearsal a day. 740 01:14:25,961 --> 01:14:27,629 You tell me, am I wrong? 741 01:14:27,630 --> 01:14:29,339 Am I doing such a horrible thing? 742 01:14:29,340 --> 01:14:31,061 I don't know. 743 01:14:31,062 --> 01:14:31,884 I don't know. 744 01:14:31,885 --> 01:14:35,136 I was like you, except I was feeling sorry for myself, 745 01:14:35,137 --> 01:14:38,306 and I thought these kids needed a hard dose of reality, 746 01:14:38,307 --> 01:14:42,352 so I gave it to them. Both barrels. 747 01:14:42,353 --> 01:14:45,690 But I've been watching them, and I was wrong. 748 01:14:47,066 --> 01:14:50,360 They're a bunch of little freaks. 749 01:14:50,361 --> 01:14:52,570 The more normal we try to make them, 750 01:14:52,571 --> 01:14:55,574 the more lonely and isolated they're gonna feel. 751 01:15:01,539 --> 01:15:03,708 Summer is almost over, Glen. 752 01:15:05,918 --> 01:15:08,671 Let's all go out like pros. What do you say? 753 01:16:30,753 --> 01:16:31,062 Dee, entra. 754 01:16:31,063 --> 01:16:32,922 Dee, entra. 755 01:16:34,757 --> 01:16:35,758 Michael... 756 01:16:36,759 --> 01:16:38,511 What are you doing here? 757 01:16:41,764 --> 01:16:43,681 Look, I don't speak no Spanish, 758 01:16:43,682 --> 01:16:45,684 so you better habla your ass some English. 759 01:16:47,144 --> 01:16:49,521 Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. 760 01:16:49,522 --> 01:16:51,189 Add that one. 761 01:16:51,190 --> 01:16:52,774 Cut it out, dude. 762 01:16:52,775 --> 01:16:54,484 I'm gonna cure you. 763 01:16:54,485 --> 01:16:56,694 Supercalifragilistic- expialidocious. 764 01:16:56,695 --> 01:16:58,197 Why are you in a good mood? 765 01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:01,061 You want to know? 766 01:17:01,062 --> 01:17:01,158 You want to know? 767 01:17:01,159 --> 01:17:02,159 Yeah. 768 01:17:05,329 --> 01:17:06,622 What is that? 769 01:17:11,293 --> 01:17:12,294 No way. 770 01:17:15,631 --> 01:17:18,050 - Who? - Dee. 771 01:17:19,051 --> 01:17:21,219 Dee? You slept with a girl? 772 01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:22,720 Yep. 773 01:17:22,721 --> 01:17:24,681 You slept with a girl? 774 01:17:24,682 --> 01:17:26,808 You're so full of shit. I don't believe you. 775 01:17:26,809 --> 01:17:28,810 I mean, why would you? 776 01:17:28,811 --> 01:17:31,061 Maybe I didn't want a whole lifetime 777 01:17:31,062 --> 01:17:31,313 maybe I didn't want a whole lifetime 778 01:17:31,314 --> 01:17:33,816 of feeling the way I have so far. 779 01:17:36,694 --> 01:17:39,321 No. I'm asking Dee. 780 01:17:40,322 --> 01:17:42,866 - Don't. - I'm calling your bluff. 781 01:17:42,867 --> 01:17:44,367 Don't be a jerk. What're you gonna do? 782 01:17:44,368 --> 01:17:45,493 Vlad! 783 01:17:45,494 --> 01:17:46,579 Vlad! 784 01:17:58,674 --> 01:17:59,842 Hey. 785 01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:03,011 Hi. Ellen's not here. 786 01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:06,182 I know. What are you doing? 787 01:18:07,683 --> 01:18:08,851 A journal. 788 01:18:15,941 --> 01:18:17,358 Hey! 789 01:18:17,359 --> 01:18:20,696 Oh, my god! 790 01:18:23,699 --> 01:18:25,074 Michael told me. 791 01:18:25,075 --> 01:18:26,743 That punk! 792 01:18:26,744 --> 01:18:28,870 I'm going to give him a bitch slap so hard. 793 01:18:28,871 --> 01:18:31,061 This is the trippiest thing I ever... 794 01:18:31,062 --> 01:18:31,749 This is the trippiest thing I ever... 795 01:18:31,750 --> 01:18:33,458 All right. 796 01:18:33,459 --> 01:18:37,462 Could he do it, even? Were his eyes open? 797 01:18:37,463 --> 01:18:39,130 Nothing against you, it's just... 798 01:18:39,131 --> 01:18:41,966 If you wanna know, he talked about you most of the time. 799 01:18:41,967 --> 01:18:43,551 During? 800 01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:45,888 Who knows? I finally tuned him out. 801 01:18:48,265 --> 01:18:52,478 Come on. Seriously, tell me. 802 01:18:53,729 --> 01:18:55,772 Why are you so interested, anyway? 803 01:18:55,773 --> 01:18:57,482 What's going on with you two? 804 01:18:57,483 --> 01:18:59,567 Nothing. Why? 805 01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:00,902 What did he say? 806 01:19:00,963 --> 01:19:04,739 I'm just saying you guys hang out an awful lot. 807 01:19:04,740 --> 01:19:07,576 So what? I'm straight. 808 01:19:09,245 --> 01:19:11,914 - Straight. - All right. 809 01:19:12,915 --> 01:19:14,248 What, you don't believe me? 810 01:19:14,249 --> 01:19:17,253 All I'm saying is that people talk. 811 01:19:28,681 --> 01:19:31,061 Sorry. That was stupid. 812 01:19:31,062 --> 01:19:31,267 Sorry. That was stupid. 813 01:19:32,685 --> 01:19:34,686 It wasn't that stupid. 814 01:19:34,687 --> 01:19:36,437 Do you know how long it's been 815 01:19:36,438 --> 01:19:39,649 since a guy's liked me that wasn't gay? 816 01:19:39,650 --> 01:19:41,818 I don't like you. 817 01:19:41,819 --> 01:19:43,277 I mean, I like you, 818 01:19:43,278 --> 01:19:44,822 but that's not why I did that. 819 01:19:47,658 --> 01:19:49,451 I don't know why I did that. 820 01:19:51,829 --> 01:19:53,289 It's all right. 821 01:19:55,833 --> 01:19:57,293 Wait. 822 01:19:58,460 --> 01:20:00,128 You just slept with Michael. 823 01:20:00,129 --> 01:20:01,062 Oh, I'm sorry. 824 01:20:01,063 --> 01:20:02,672 Oh, I'm sorry. 825 01:20:02,673 --> 01:20:04,173 Then go back to your boyfriend. 826 01:20:04,174 --> 01:20:05,675 Shut up. 827 01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:07,469 Why don't you make me? 828 01:20:17,021 --> 01:20:18,022 Wait. 829 01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:25,529 Shit! 830 01:20:29,867 --> 01:20:31,061 Ellen! 831 01:20:31,062 --> 01:20:31,535 Ellen! 832 01:20:31,536 --> 01:20:33,536 Come on, wait up! 833 01:20:33,537 --> 01:20:34,912 Ellen! 834 01:20:34,913 --> 01:20:35,997 Leave me alone. 835 01:20:35,998 --> 01:20:39,001 - Wait up! - Don't follow me! 836 01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,068 Oh, baby! 837 01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:06,069 Doesn't she look pretty? 838 01:21:06,070 --> 01:21:09,239 - I missed you so much! - You look so beautiful. 839 01:21:14,453 --> 01:21:17,705 I don't understand. How can you spend all summer 840 01:21:17,706 --> 01:21:20,041 with your jaw wired shut and still look like that? 841 01:21:20,042 --> 01:21:22,043 Fred! 842 01:21:22,044 --> 01:21:23,461 I'll tell you what, 843 01:21:23,462 --> 01:21:25,379 we'll keep it on for fall term. 844 01:21:25,380 --> 01:21:28,258 You won't be sneaking milkshakes with me around the house. 845 01:21:30,094 --> 01:21:31,062 I have to get ready. 846 01:21:31,062 --> 01:21:31,553 I have to get ready. 847 01:21:32,554 --> 01:21:33,971 What? 848 01:22:13,762 --> 01:22:16,431 Oh, my god, it's him. 849 01:22:16,432 --> 01:22:18,641 Stephen Sondheim. 850 01:22:18,642 --> 01:22:20,477 Stephen Sondheim! 851 01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:28,211 They called places already. 852 01:23:28,212 --> 01:23:30,047 You're not even dressed yet? 853 01:23:40,390 --> 01:23:42,017 How paranoid can you be? 854 01:23:51,193 --> 01:23:52,611 Oh, my god. 855 01:23:54,238 --> 01:23:55,404 Was that your plan? 856 01:23:55,405 --> 01:23:57,865 Did you put something in there? 857 01:23:57,866 --> 01:24:00,035 I only wish I'd thought of it. 858 01:24:02,204 --> 01:24:04,247 Ellen, 859 01:24:04,248 --> 01:24:06,792 can you please pass the base? 860 01:24:12,798 --> 01:24:14,215 Thank you. 861 01:24:14,216 --> 01:24:15,299 This is ridiculous. 862 01:24:15,300 --> 01:24:16,717 If you say one more syllable, 863 01:24:16,718 --> 01:24:19,553 I will shove a powder puff so far down your windpipe... 864 01:24:19,554 --> 01:24:22,890 Do not underestimate my ass, because I will knock you flat. 865 01:24:22,891 --> 01:24:24,225 - Girls, why don't we... - Butt out. 866 01:24:24,226 --> 01:24:26,936 And there's no such thing as bisexuality, you know. 867 01:24:26,937 --> 01:24:28,230 Vlad! 868 01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:31,994 Julie? What are you doing here? 869 01:24:31,995 --> 01:24:32,651 Julie? What are you doing here? 870 01:24:32,652 --> 01:24:34,152 I took the bus. 871 01:24:39,324 --> 01:24:40,158 Hi. 872 01:24:40,159 --> 01:24:41,493 Hey. 873 01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:44,078 How are you? 874 01:24:44,079 --> 01:24:45,997 I'm good. How about you? - Good. 875 01:24:45,998 --> 01:24:48,584 - I give up. - You give up? 876 01:24:50,127 --> 01:24:51,252 Hi. 877 01:24:51,253 --> 01:24:53,254 Oh, yeah. 878 01:24:53,255 --> 01:24:56,257 Julie, this is Ellen, Michael, and Dee. 879 01:24:56,258 --> 01:24:59,635 Listen, is there somewhere private we can go? 880 01:24:59,636 --> 01:25:01,596 Right now? I have a show. 881 01:25:01,597 --> 01:25:01,995 - I'll see you after, okay? - Great. 882 01:25:01,996 --> 01:25:05,350 - I'll see you after, okay? - Great. 883 01:25:06,184 --> 01:25:07,811 - Bye. - Bye. 884 01:25:30,375 --> 01:25:31,994 What? 885 01:25:31,995 --> 01:25:32,169 What? 886 01:25:32,170 --> 01:25:35,213 I hardly know where to begin. 887 01:25:36,340 --> 01:25:38,799 Why didn't you tell us you had a girlfriend? 888 01:25:38,800 --> 01:25:39,967 You didn't ask. 889 01:25:39,968 --> 01:25:41,636 You never asked me if I had a boyfriend, 890 01:25:41,637 --> 01:25:43,639 but if I did, I would've said something... 891 01:25:50,228 --> 01:25:52,814 Except you assumed I wouldn't have a boyfriend. 892 01:25:55,984 --> 01:25:58,194 Right. 893 01:25:58,195 --> 01:26:01,822 No sense in asking a question like that to someone like me, right? 894 01:26:01,823 --> 01:26:01,995 Stop it. 895 01:26:01,995 --> 01:26:02,908 Stop it. 896 01:26:02,909 --> 01:26:04,325 And I was supposed to assume 897 01:26:04,326 --> 01:26:06,994 that you did have a girlfriend. 898 01:26:06,995 --> 01:26:09,330 And of course that you screw around. 899 01:26:09,331 --> 01:26:11,207 That's not true. I'm sorry about Dee. 900 01:26:11,208 --> 01:26:14,211 It's just... I have no excuse. 901 01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:17,922 It's all my fault. 902 01:26:17,923 --> 01:26:20,383 Maybe you and I only went out 903 01:26:20,384 --> 01:26:22,885 because I thought it would make you happy. 904 01:26:22,886 --> 01:26:25,221 I'm sorry. 905 01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:26,223 Right. 906 01:26:28,058 --> 01:26:31,936 I knew that. I knew that all along. 907 01:26:31,937 --> 01:26:31,995 I guess I just didn't care. 908 01:26:31,996 --> 01:26:35,439 I guess I just didn't care. 909 01:26:35,440 --> 01:26:37,275 But tell me one thing. 910 01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:43,781 What was going to happen to us when we got back home? 911 01:26:43,782 --> 01:26:45,283 Places! 912 01:27:14,271 --> 01:27:16,106 Aah! 913 01:27:18,400 --> 01:27:22,571 Jesus Christ! Oh, god! 914 01:27:23,989 --> 01:27:26,949 You sabotaged my makeup! You bitch! 915 01:27:26,950 --> 01:27:28,744 I did not. Sit down. 916 01:27:30,495 --> 01:27:31,455 Aah! 917 01:27:35,167 --> 01:27:37,251 - I can't do it. - Come on, Jenna. 918 01:27:37,252 --> 01:27:39,128 Fritzi's got multiple fractures, 919 01:27:39,129 --> 01:27:42,339 and Jill's face looks like 40 miles of bad road. 920 01:27:42,340 --> 01:27:43,592 You've got to do it. 921 01:27:45,969 --> 01:27:47,596 I know you're scared. 922 01:27:49,431 --> 01:27:50,599 It's not that. 923 01:27:51,975 --> 01:27:53,351 My parents are here. 924 01:27:55,437 --> 01:27:57,606 It's about time they met their daughter. 925 01:33:16,800 --> 01:33:20,094 Good job, Bert. Really terrific. 926 01:33:21,179 --> 01:33:22,930 Um... 927 01:33:22,931 --> 01:33:27,101 Thank you. I had no idea you chaired this benefit. 928 01:33:27,102 --> 01:33:28,852 I'm giving a party on the 18th. 929 01:33:28,853 --> 01:33:30,270 I'll give you a call. 930 01:33:30,271 --> 01:33:31,994 Great. Love to. 931 01:33:31,995 --> 01:33:32,273 Great. Love to. 932 01:33:53,044 --> 01:33:54,379 Who's that? 933 01:33:56,840 --> 01:33:58,674 Go away. 934 01:34:18,653 --> 01:34:19,696 What are you doing? 935 01:34:20,822 --> 01:34:22,030 I'm going swimming. 936 01:34:22,031 --> 01:34:24,826 Don't! I don't even want to talk to you! 937 01:34:31,332 --> 01:34:33,543 I want to apologize. 938 01:34:43,678 --> 01:34:44,868 You are either the biggest closet case I've ever seen, 939 01:34:44,869 --> 01:34:46,096 you are either the biggest closet case I've ever seen, 940 01:34:46,097 --> 01:34:48,223 or you're just plain evil. 941 01:34:48,224 --> 01:34:50,434 Why? I thought now that you're straight... 942 01:34:50,435 --> 01:34:52,060 don't get carried away. 943 01:34:52,061 --> 01:34:54,855 I slept with her 'cause of you. 944 01:34:54,856 --> 01:34:56,440 Me? 945 01:34:56,441 --> 01:34:57,858 I figured you might feel less threatened 946 01:34:57,859 --> 01:35:00,402 if you thought I was capable of sex with a woman. 947 01:35:00,403 --> 01:35:03,196 I don't even know how to respond to that, dude. 948 01:35:03,197 --> 01:35:04,948 With a straitjacket, perhaps? 949 01:35:04,949 --> 01:35:05,950 Michael... 950 01:35:08,870 --> 01:35:10,704 Things went so good with Dee. 951 01:35:10,705 --> 01:35:12,706 Isn't it just possible that you're... 952 01:35:12,707 --> 01:35:13,708 No. 953 01:35:15,585 --> 01:35:17,711 The only thing that's possible now 954 01:35:17,712 --> 01:35:19,421 is that I'll get beat up once too often 955 01:35:19,422 --> 01:35:22,050 and decide to be with some woman because I know I can. 956 01:35:23,760 --> 01:35:26,053 It's not exactly something I wish I knew. 957 01:35:26,054 --> 01:35:27,804 You can't pin that on me. 958 01:35:27,805 --> 01:35:31,225 We can't pin anything on you 'cause you're perfect. 959 01:35:31,226 --> 01:35:32,559 I'm not perfect! 960 01:35:32,560 --> 01:35:36,063 Except for that little obsessive-compulsive thing. 961 01:35:36,064 --> 01:35:38,231 Even that makes you kind of sexily damaged. 962 01:35:38,232 --> 01:35:41,945 I hate people like you. I really do. 963 01:35:48,993 --> 01:35:49,994 Vlad? 964 01:35:52,997 --> 01:35:54,457 Vlad? 965 01:35:59,003 --> 01:36:00,004 Vlad! 966 01:36:10,014 --> 01:36:11,849 Oh, my god. 967 01:36:19,023 --> 01:36:20,441 Water's freezing. 968 01:36:21,943 --> 01:36:24,111 Why are you doing this? 969 01:36:24,112 --> 01:36:26,990 Doing what? Skinny-dipping. 970 01:36:30,535 --> 01:36:33,829 Maybe I do flirt, but if I do, 971 01:36:33,830 --> 01:36:35,623 it's only because I want to be liked. 972 01:36:37,625 --> 01:36:40,628 And... Maybe I'm a little confused. 973 01:36:54,642 --> 01:36:56,394 Y-you're not confused. 974 01:36:58,813 --> 01:36:59,981 You like girls. 975 01:37:01,816 --> 01:37:02,817 Okay. 976 01:37:03,985 --> 01:37:06,153 You're right. I do. 977 01:37:06,154 --> 01:37:08,488 I was just trying to give you what you want. 978 01:37:08,489 --> 01:37:09,573 I'm an asshole. 979 01:37:09,574 --> 01:37:13,035 Man, I don't know. I just love attention. 980 01:37:13,036 --> 01:37:14,868 I'm an attention junkie, I guess. 981 01:37:14,869 --> 01:37:16,080 I'm an attention junkie, I guess. 982 01:37:17,331 --> 01:37:19,417 Why do I do shit like that? 983 01:37:23,838 --> 01:37:24,839 Michael... 984 01:37:26,007 --> 01:37:27,383 Do you forgive me? 985 01:37:32,013 --> 01:37:33,014 Do you? 986 01:37:35,683 --> 01:37:37,017 Huh? 987 01:37:37,018 --> 01:37:37,852 Come on! 988 01:37:39,604 --> 01:37:41,188 Michael. 989 01:37:41,189 --> 01:37:42,607 Mikey. 990 01:37:43,608 --> 01:37:44,691 Michael. 991 01:37:44,692 --> 01:37:44,869 Ha ha ha! 992 01:37:44,870 --> 01:37:46,068 Ha ha ha! 993 01:37:46,069 --> 01:37:48,028 Do you? Do you forgive me? 994 01:37:48,029 --> 01:37:49,613 Ha ha ha! 995 01:37:49,614 --> 01:37:51,740 Huh? Do you? 996 01:37:51,741 --> 01:37:53,700 If I forgive you, will you get off of me? 997 01:37:53,701 --> 01:37:55,203 - Yeah. - Then no. 998 01:37:56,204 --> 01:37:59,791 - Oh, god. - Ha ha ha! 999 01:38:03,127 --> 01:38:05,296 Michael, who are you with? 1000 01:38:06,714 --> 01:38:07,715 Oh. 1001 01:38:11,052 --> 01:38:14,597 Don't hate me. I made up with him. 1002 01:38:19,602 --> 01:38:20,937 Where's Julie? 1003 01:38:23,481 --> 01:38:24,731 She broke up with me. 1004 01:38:24,732 --> 01:38:25,732 What? 1005 01:38:25,733 --> 01:38:26,817 She came here 1006 01:38:26,818 --> 01:38:28,735 'cause she wanted to tell me in person. 1007 01:38:28,736 --> 01:38:30,404 Well, well, well. 1008 01:38:30,405 --> 01:38:34,074 How's that for a little opening night present? 1009 01:38:34,075 --> 01:38:36,576 How does it feel to be on the other end, lover boy? 1010 01:38:36,577 --> 01:38:39,580 Well, actually... 1011 01:38:41,582 --> 01:38:43,166 Never mind. 1012 01:38:43,167 --> 01:38:44,752 What? 1013 01:38:46,420 --> 01:38:50,132 Well, now that camp's almost over, 1014 01:38:50,133 --> 01:38:53,176 and we live kind of close to each other, 1015 01:38:53,177 --> 01:38:57,265 I was hoping that we can go out sometime. 1016 01:38:59,809 --> 01:39:01,435 I know you're not asking girlfriend 1017 01:39:01,436 --> 01:39:03,186 out for a date after all this. 1018 01:39:03,187 --> 01:39:05,189 If she'll forgive me. 1019 01:39:08,985 --> 01:39:10,610 This boy not only has cojones, 1020 01:39:10,611 --> 01:39:13,865 but he's got burritos and huevos rancheros, too. 1021 01:39:17,952 --> 01:39:20,120 - Okay. - What? 1022 01:39:20,121 --> 01:39:21,122 Really? 1023 01:39:22,206 --> 01:39:23,623 I'll go out with you. 1024 01:39:23,624 --> 01:39:27,127 You're like some Jenny Jones guest! 1025 01:39:27,128 --> 01:39:30,213 Eventually I have to start hanging out with boys 1026 01:39:30,214 --> 01:39:32,133 who don't wear dresses. 1027 01:39:33,551 --> 01:39:36,012 I thought we came here to go swimming. 1028 01:39:41,684 --> 01:39:42,894 You coming in? 1029 01:39:44,145 --> 01:39:44,869 It's pretty cold. 1030 01:39:44,869 --> 01:39:45,521 It's pretty cold. 1031 01:39:46,647 --> 01:39:48,983 I'll take my chances. 1032 01:40:01,370 --> 01:40:02,663 Okay. 1033 01:40:08,169 --> 01:40:10,170 It's not that cold. 1034 01:40:11,839 --> 01:40:14,090 don't be a girl. Leave that to Michael. 1035 01:40:14,091 --> 01:40:14,869 You two are like a bad car wreck. 1036 01:40:14,869 --> 01:40:15,843 You two are like a bad car wreck. 1037 01:40:15,844 --> 01:40:18,261 I wash my hands of the both of you! 1038 01:40:21,182 --> 01:40:22,183 Quit splashing! 1039 01:45:33,160 --> 01:45:34,161 Action. 1040 01:45:40,000 --> 01:45:42,001 What a dump. 1041 01:45:42,002 --> 01:45:44,868 Hey, where's that from? "What a dump." 1042 01:45:44,869 --> 01:45:47,258 Hey, where's that from? "What a dump." 1043 01:45:49,426 --> 01:45:51,262 How would I know, Martha? 1044 01:49:27,561 --> 01:49:30,730 So you went to this camp. What was that like? 1045 01:49:30,731 --> 01:49:33,608 I was consistently miscast... 1046 01:49:33,609 --> 01:49:38,446 Titus andronicus, Stanley Kowalski. 1047 01:49:38,447 --> 01:49:41,657 Then there was the year they couldn't find a girl to cast as Annie, 1048 01:49:41,658 --> 01:49:43,744 so I played "Andy."