1
00:00:03,006 --> 00:00:05,006


2
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:42,818
So, ladies...

3
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,482
straight to the high
point of our meeting.

4
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,650
Our guest speaker.

5
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:51,924
I'm very pleased to welcome
Alan Rathbone from York,

6
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,488
who's gonna be giving us
a talk on the history

7
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:57,626
of the milk marketing board.

8
00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,067
Thank you, Alan.

9
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:03,773
Good evening, ladies of
the Women's Institute.

10
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:12,546
Ladies, I'd like to welcome
Iris Benton from Ilkley.

11
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She's come to lead us through
the fascinating world of rugs.

12
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I beg your pardon, Iris.
I stand corrected.

13
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It's not just rugs. It's
all forms of carpeting.

14
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Oh, thank God.

15
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:30,301
For a minute, I thought
it was going to be dull.

16
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Our 'round-the-world cruise
started in September.

17
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In Skipton. When we
booked the tickets.

18
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:46,847
That's them.

19
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:48,408
They were a special offer.

20
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And it was essential,
my wife told me,

21
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to book them before the
25th of the month.

22
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Thank you.

23
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,806
I don't know about you ladies.

24
00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,674
But can I just say, Pauline,

25
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:17,647
I had no idea that broccoli
could be so intriguing.

26
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:19,775
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

27
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,046
Now, then, ladies.

28
00:02:22,108 --> 00:02:25,385
Can I have a volunteer
to draw the raffle?

29
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- No.
- Yes.

30
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- No!
- All right, I'll ask him.

31
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- Volunteer your own husband.
- Oh, yeah, right.

32
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What's Rod going to
talk to the W.I. about?

33
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:40,063
Well, yeah, exactly.

34
00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:42,367
That's exactly what
John would say.

35
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What the hell am
I gonna speak about?

36
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I don't care.

37
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It's gonna be better than the
history of the cauliflower.

38
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Or whatever we've
got waiting for us.

39
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,918
Annie, tell him.

40
00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:57,420
John, the whole point
of the W.I. is...

41
00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:58,477
Listen to me.

42
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,685
Annie, what is the
point of the W.I.?

43
00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:04,627
"Enlightenment, fun,
and friendship."

44
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Well, there, you see?
It's right.

45
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It's them things.

46
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,030
In my case, it's
something you did

47
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:14,401
because your mother wanted
you to, and then she died.

48
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One seed in each pot.

49
00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:18,806
You're bloody useless, you are.

50
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,675
Oh, look. Is that all
right like that?

51
00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:43,161
I've done the Harman wedding,
but the carnation table fronts

52
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need to be done for that
conference in Guiseley.

53
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Good Lord. Nagging Lilies.

54
00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:53,107
And I couldn't find
the order form.

55
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I thought after your
fantastic reorganization,

56
00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:05,145
all the order forms had
to go on the bent nail.

57
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:11,353
Are you going upstairs
to do your homework?

58
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Am I bollocks?

59
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,524
What happened yesterday
can't happen again.

60
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Jem?

61
00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,934
Mum.

62
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Oh, you! Shoo!

63
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You beggar!

64
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Go on!

65
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:34,807
Oh, he's a little
devil, is that crow.

66
00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:38,144
He'll have all them seedlings
if we don't do something.

67
00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:48,852
Something we need to have
a little chat about.

68
00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,993
- Annie...
- Don't leave me.

69
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,798
Hey, come here.

70
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,706
Hey, hey.

71
00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:04,332
I'm not leaving you.

72
00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,707
You soft girl.

73
00:06:08,501 --> 00:06:10,503
At least I bloody hope not.

74
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,388
So...

75
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:27,697
You know, what kind
is it he's got?

76
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:30,928
Says he's gonna call
it "Saddam Hussein."

77
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:38,565
You should have told us.
I'm your oldest friend.

78
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:41,510
You should've told me the
moment you found out.

79
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I did.

80
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- No big hoo-ha, though, okay?
- Okay.

81
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It'll make it easier to get back
to normal when he gets out,

82
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,450
and the tests are clear.

83
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:56,789
Yeah.

84
00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:58,351
And everything.

85
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,609
All entries for the home
and craft competition

86
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:16,579
to the W.I. tent
immediately, please.

87
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,513
What are they? Hells Angels?

88
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:23,083
We're gonna make a move.
We'll see you.

89
00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:25,088
All right. See you later.
Yeah.

90
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:32,423
- Oh, this is well done.
- Right.

91
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,761
- "Garden in a plant pot."
- We've done that.

92
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,528
"Straightest courgette."

93
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,193
"Most creative with an egg."

94
00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:40,259
We've done everything,
haven't we?

95
00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:41,828
Look at 'em.

96
00:07:41,894 --> 00:07:44,500
Highgyll W.I.

97
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,636
"Let's arrange our cakes
'round an old cartwheel."

98
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,338
Does look pretty, though.

99
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,211
Whose side are you on, Brutus?

100
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:52,271
I didn't mean...

101
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,284
What's your event, by the way?

102
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,118
"Tea tray on an
international theme."

103
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:01,784
I did Jamaica. But it could
be anywhere in the Caribbean.

104
00:08:02,782 --> 00:08:04,557
If more people did W.I.,

105
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:07,461
there'd be half the need
for hallucinogenic drugs.

106
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,760
Good. Ruth.

107
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:10,732
International tea tray.

108
00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:12,133
"Victoria Sponge."

109
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:14,068
Annie's on Victoria Sponge.

110
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:15,901
"Something for under a pound"?

111
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:18,465
- Kathy.
- Where's that?

112
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:23,134
What's that?

113
00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:24,978
Well, Annie won't have had time,

114
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:28,211
running Yul Brynner in and
out of Skipton General.

115
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,548
Ta-DA.

116
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,987
Oh, I'm sorry. Just
took a bit long...

117
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:33,921
- Oh, my God, the cake.
- Told you.

118
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,221
It's all right. Chris
has saved the day.

119
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,454
You baked that?

120
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,020
I'm not a total dead
loss as a woman.

121
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,929
I can't knit or make plum jam.

122
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:44,298
But I can bake a bloody
Victoria Sponge.

123
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,064
Ooh. All right. Thank you.

124
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,570
I didn't bake this one.

125
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,470
I got it from Marks & Spencer's.

126
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,974
- What?!
- The point is...

127
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You can't enter a cake that
you've bought in a shop.

128
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,011
It doesn't matter
where it comes from.

129
00:08:57,069 --> 00:09:00,846
This is about putting up a
united front against Highgyll.

130
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,648
This isn't bakery.

131
00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,445
It's Zulu.

132
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:08,819
On the ready.

133
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,948
Excitement in the main tent,

134
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:34,610
where the W.I. judging's begun.

135
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:35,778
Oh, yeah?

136
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- Jury's back.
- Yeah.

137
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:38,912
Ladies and gentlemen,

138
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:42,551
the winner of this year's
May Wilkinson trophy

139
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:46,620
for Victoria Sponge,
maximum 12-inch diameter,

140
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I'm pleased to say,
is entry number 213.

141
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,070
Nice knowing you, Chris.

142
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,628
Help me.

143
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,106
Oh, that's interesting.

144
00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:04,479
Entered by Knapely W.I. and
baked by Chris Harper.

145
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:13,249
Very, very well done.
It's a beautiful cake.

146
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:14,484
Thanks very much.

147
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:19,087
And I'm proud to say
this cake also wins

148
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:24,260
the judges' 2002
Discretionary Award.

149
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:33,168
That was really beautiful.

150
00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:34,905
Thank you.

151
00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:40,745
Listen, I never
normally ask this.

152
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:44,413
The lightness of that sponge.

153
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,514
Is there a trick?

154
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,651
A technique how you got that?

155
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:04,800
Well, I basically stuck
to me mother's advice

156
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:07,470
about cake baking.

157
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:12,380
Uh, which is line the
bowl with butter.

158
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:15,282
Always use a warm spoon.

159
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,719
And if it's a special event,

160
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:20,519
get it at Marks & Spencer's.

161
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:35,137
Here comes...

162
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,571
Throw the cake at them.

163
00:11:39,231 --> 00:11:41,609
Are you throwing my cake?

164
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,647
That is disrespectful.

165
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,705
This is very good.

166
00:11:45,771 --> 00:11:47,842
Of course it's good.

167
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:51,787
They don't give the May
Wilkinson out lightly.

168
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:54,415
In fact, I'm going
to be asked to do

169
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,460
a master class at the W.I.

170
00:11:56,515 --> 00:11:57,823
That'll be interesting.

171
00:11:57,883 --> 00:12:00,329
Oh, well, wasn't
I supposed to do one?

172
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,922
Something? Yeah?

173
00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:04,866
For the W.I.? Or
don't you want that?

174
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,097
Anyway, I tell you what.

175
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:10,231
If you want me to do it, you
better get it in quick.

176
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:21,912
* Bring me my bow
of burning gold *

177
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,382
- Go, go, go.
- Kiss.

178
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,920
They're on "arrows of desire."

179
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:30,256
You're not going to
Ilkley without a kiss.

180
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,456
I go every Thursday. It's
not an overseas posting.

181
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:34,964
Kiss.

182
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:50,413
* Nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand *

183
00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:56,579
* Till we have built
Jerusalem *

184
00:12:56,642 --> 00:13:06,120
* In England's
green and pleasant land *

185
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:16,672
Well, firstly, how
else could we start

186
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,369
than by congratulating Chris

187
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:22,071
on not only winning
the May Wilkinson

188
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:25,911
but also the judges'
Discretionary Ribbon.

189
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:31,779
We're so pleased.

190
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:40,827
Now, the next item on the
agenda is the calendar.

191
00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:43,423
Last year, we had views
of local bridges.

192
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,901
So this year, I thought
we could go for

193
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:49,030
the 12 most beautiful
views of...

194
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,802
- George Clooney.
- ...the churches of Wharfedale.

195
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:53,138
11 fully clothed

196
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:56,373
and a little lift-the-flap
for December.

197
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:58,176
Chris?

198
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:01,241
Yeah? Oh, no. No. Nothing.

199
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:03,719
She said, "George Clooney."

200
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:06,444
No.

201
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:09,517
No, Marie. I'm fine
with whatever.

202
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,924
Churches of Wharfedale
it is, then.

203
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,995
It should be George Clooney.

204
00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:19,298
Come the toss between Burnsall
Church and George Clooney,

205
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,861
I know which I'd rather
wake up looking at.

206
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:23,565
It is a Norman church.

207
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,508
I'm not disputing the
loveliness of the church.

208
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:29,978
It's the firmness of the
buttocks I'm worried about.

209
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,776
You'll pull your drip out.

210
00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:33,214
Anyway, let's face it.

211
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:35,718
Oh, hate to be a revolutionary.

212
00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:38,050
It might actually
sell a few copies.

213
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:41,284
The W.I. posing pouch calendar.

214
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,588
Flesh sells, I tell you.

215
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,890
Right. Decided.

216
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:49,125
So, where do we get
a photographer?

217
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:50,565
Art college.

218
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:54,070
It's full of charlatans who
prostitute their talent.

219
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:55,469
- Is it?
- Yeah.

220
00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:57,564
Lawrence was telling me.

221
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,837
Hey, you want to see
this kid's photographs?

222
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,108
Yeah, look, don't
go on about them.

223
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:06,547
He's taking some
of me sunflowers

224
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:08,812
to see how they're getting on.

225
00:15:08,874 --> 00:15:11,753
See, it's not your photographer.
It's your models.

226
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,949
Professional models cost a bomb.

227
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:19,261
I'll model for you for nowt.

228
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:20,318
No, thanks.

229
00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:23,925
I've just seen your backside.
It's not like George's.

230
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:41,584
There you go.

231
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:43,848
Ow!

232
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:47,186
Oh, this bloody settee.

233
00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:49,624
They're gonna need
another relatives room.

234
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,525
For the relatives
who got injured

235
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:54,427
on the settee in the
bloody relatives room.

236
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,998
So, did you talk
to the specialist?

237
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:05,675
John seems chirpier to me today.
What's the old...

238
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:07,836
Pneumonia and septicemia.

239
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,437
Oh, well, that's good.
I've heard of those.

240
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:14,040
They can deal with
those, can't they?

241
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:17,849
It means his immune
system's weakened.

242
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,981
Chemo isn't working.

243
00:16:22,247 --> 00:16:25,660
Which means we're
finally out of straws.

244
00:16:33,459 --> 00:16:36,702
Don't you go buying any benches.

245
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:39,675
I'll do what the hell
I like, John Clarke.

246
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:43,009
You put a bench out here,

247
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:46,379
It'll have "Leeds
Stuffed Arsenal" on it

248
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:49,317
before you get back to the car.

249
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:53,116
Come on.

250
00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:03,598
I've written me speech.

251
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:04,655
W.I.

252
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:06,329
All right.

253
00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:11,636
I did it about me job.

254
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,574
And all this.

255
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,271
You read it to me.

256
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:26,519
"Flowers of Yorkshire are
like the women of Yorkshire."

257
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:31,721
"Every stage of their growth

258
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:35,732
is more beautiful
than the last."

259
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:41,633
"But the last phase

260
00:17:41,693 --> 00:17:44,697
is always the most glorious."

261
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:02,684
"Then, very quickly,
they all go to seed."

262
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:08,855
Oh, you.

263
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,060
Cheeky beggar.

264
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:48,028
Awhile ago,

265
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:50,596
I asked John Clarke to
give us a talk here

266
00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:52,141
at Knapely W.I.

267
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:57,938
Annie asked me to read
it to you here tonight.

268
00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:00,313
And this is what he wrote.

269
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:06,514
"The flowers of Yorkshire are
like the women of Yorkshire.

270
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:09,650
Every stage of their
growth has its own beauty.

271
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:13,595
But the last phase is
always the most glorious."

272
00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:17,066
"Then, very quickly,
they all go to seed."

273
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,670
"Which makes it ironic.

274
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:25,106
My favorite flower isn't
indigenous to the British Isles,

275
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,508
let alone Yorkshire.

276
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:30,274
I don't think there's
anything on this planet

277
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:34,579
that more trumpets life
than the sunflower."

278
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:39,184
"For me, that's because of
the reason behind its name.

279
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:41,520
Not because it looks
like the sun,

280
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:45,687
but because it follows the sun.

281
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,628
During the course of the day,

282
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:52,601
the head tracks the journey
of the sun across the sky.

283
00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:56,902
A satellite dish for sunshine.

284
00:19:56,962 --> 00:20:00,432
Wherever light is,
no matter how weak,

285
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:03,309
these flowers will find it.

286
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:06,349
And that's such an
admirable thing.

287
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,642
And such a lesson in life."

288
00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:25,064
You ran into a gate?
How'd you do that?

289
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,296
You what?

290
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:29,532
He does a paper round.

291
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:32,201
It pays for his
elocution lessons.

292
00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:34,744
Yeah? Well, he's bent
these good-style.

293
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,507
It'll be...

294
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:40,143
25 quid, that, love.

295
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,980
I have to have it.

296
00:20:43,675 --> 00:20:44,983
Mum?

297
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:53,624
Ted, would you mind
if I borrowed this?

298
00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:54,755
No.

299
00:20:57,522 --> 00:21:01,493
Moving gently into the locust.

300
00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:06,940
And then we have...

301
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:10,070
...the lion.

302
00:21:12,838 --> 00:21:13,839
I have to admit,

303
00:21:13,905 --> 00:21:16,943
I'm concerned about our
leader's grasp of Tai Chi.

304
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:20,115
And into the llama.

305
00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:21,657
- Llama?
- Llama?

306
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:23,249
Are there llamas in China?

307
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,315
Okay.

308
00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:26,455
What?

309
00:21:26,518 --> 00:21:29,294
Are you all looking in
the right direction?

310
00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:31,129
See you Thursday, girls.

311
00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:32,497
- Bye, love.
- Bye.

312
00:21:32,557 --> 00:21:33,763
Bye.

313
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,837
How's Annie?

314
00:21:36,895 --> 00:21:38,966
How can we help, do you think?

315
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:45,672
Are you doing anything
tomorrow afternoon?

316
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,058
It is. I'm telling you.

317
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:05,067
Girls laughing is a good sign.

318
00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:08,769
It's a top sign, I tell you.

319
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:12,141
Bloody hell, if you're
in with Debbie Nolan.

320
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:17,044
Not being unsound here, but she
has got the most fantastic tits.

321
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:19,776
She has got fine mangoes.

322
00:22:20,972 --> 00:22:23,043
Actually, not mangoes.

323
00:22:23,108 --> 00:22:26,578
I don't imagine they'd
be hard like mangoes.

324
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:29,421
Maybe plums.

325
00:22:29,481 --> 00:22:31,518
Ripe plums.

326
00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:34,689
You know. Big, ripe plums.

327
00:22:38,123 --> 00:22:40,501
No. What am I saying?

328
00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:42,038
No. Not plums.

329
00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:43,505
Balloons.

330
00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:44,939
That's it.

331
00:22:44,996 --> 00:22:47,237
That's exactly
what they're like.

332
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:49,802
A pair of balloons you
find behind your settee

333
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:51,370
three days after a party.

334
00:22:51,436 --> 00:22:55,885
Gaz, will you stop
talking about tits?

335
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:59,055
Why would I ever
want to do that?

336
00:23:01,346 --> 00:23:03,656
Well, I think it's
a great idea.

337
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:06,093
You weren't concentrating,
were you, Ruth?

338
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:07,687
I was.

339
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:10,359
We're going to raise
money for the hospital

340
00:23:10,422 --> 00:23:12,459
to buy a sofa in John's name.

341
00:23:12,524 --> 00:23:15,596
By posing for a nude calendar.

342
00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:19,433
Oh, no!

343
00:23:19,498 --> 00:23:20,568
Oh, sit down.

344
00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:24,136
I'm not asking you to
straddle an Harley-Davidson.

345
00:23:24,202 --> 00:23:26,580
It's still a leap
from Burnsall Church.

346
00:23:26,638 --> 00:23:28,208
But that's the whole point.

347
00:23:28,273 --> 00:23:31,618
You see, it's an
alternative calendar.

348
00:23:31,676 --> 00:23:32,677
It's...

349
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,746
It's what John suggested.

350
00:23:34,813 --> 00:23:36,554
Did he?

351
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:40,654
"The last stage of the flower
is the most glorious."

352
00:23:40,719 --> 00:23:42,323
What this would be saying is,

353
00:23:42,387 --> 00:23:45,425
"Yes, John. Actually,
we agree."

354
00:23:45,490 --> 00:23:48,528
With respect, I didn't
hear him use the phrase,

355
00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,402
"Whip your bras off."

356
00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:56,336
It's £999 in the
leather, that sofa.

357
00:23:56,401 --> 00:24:00,349
Can I remind you how much
last year's calendar raised?

358
00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:04,148
£75.60.

359
00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:06,581
Are you having it?

360
00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:09,091
We're having it, all right.

361
00:24:09,147 --> 00:24:11,093
Come on, I'll show you it all.

362
00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:14,653
Yeah, we'll get back to you.
Thank you.

363
00:24:15,921 --> 00:24:18,834
I don't know. She's
being weird.

364
00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:21,734
Normal weird or weird weird?

365
00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:23,067
She found this.

366
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,699
You're kidding.
"Big Bazookas."

367
00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:27,573
I saw her looking at it.

368
00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:30,476
God, I bet she
went off her head.

369
00:24:30,535 --> 00:24:33,812
My mum did when she found
me "Rubber Housewives."

370
00:24:36,441 --> 00:24:38,853
It's a difficult age.

371
00:24:38,910 --> 00:24:43,620
Roundabout now, women go
through a difficult age

372
00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:47,562
when they get all
irrational and odd

373
00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:49,428
and difficult to predict.

374
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:50,694
How do you know?

375
00:24:50,755 --> 00:24:52,359
Me dad told me.

376
00:24:53,191 --> 00:24:54,226
Right.

377
00:24:54,292 --> 00:24:55,464
- No.
- Ruth.

378
00:24:55,527 --> 00:24:57,063
I've got to go, anyway.

379
00:24:57,128 --> 00:24:58,732
Eddie's getting back.

380
00:24:58,797 --> 00:25:00,606
Nobody's going to see anything.

381
00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,144
You take the picture.

382
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,510
I'm not quite sure how to shoot.

383
00:25:06,037 --> 00:25:07,175
No, not yet. Wait.

384
00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,082
You've just taken
one of the table.

385
00:25:09,140 --> 00:25:11,017
Won't sell a lot of calendars.

386
00:25:11,076 --> 00:25:12,578
It's that button.

387
00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:14,214
Right.

388
00:25:16,214 --> 00:25:18,524
Can anyone see my nipples?

389
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:21,057
You would if it were your mum.

390
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:22,496
Look, what's she done?

391
00:25:22,554 --> 00:25:26,366
Flicked through one jazz mag and
looked at a mucky calendar.

392
00:25:26,424 --> 00:25:28,734
That doesn't make her a lesbian.

393
00:25:31,329 --> 00:25:32,501
Hi, Jem.

394
00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:39,213
Your mother's just...

395
00:25:42,574 --> 00:25:45,783
Just go on upstairs
with your friend, okay?

396
00:26:07,966 --> 00:26:09,775
How was Ilkley?

397
00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:12,007
Hey, what are you doing up?

398
00:26:18,677 --> 00:26:19,747
How'd it go?

399
00:26:19,811 --> 00:26:22,018
Oh. You know.

400
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,926
They're not a scintillating lot.
Carpet dealers.

401
00:26:25,984 --> 00:26:29,329
They only get excited
about bonded underlay.

402
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:31,860
Coming to bed?

403
00:26:31,923 --> 00:26:33,766
Aye. In a bit.

404
00:26:33,825 --> 00:26:36,135
Just having a wind-down.

405
00:26:57,215 --> 00:26:59,491
I've come for my photos.

406
00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:01,792
Can't find me little
receipt thingy.

407
00:27:01,853 --> 00:27:04,094
- The name's Har...
- Here they are.

408
00:27:04,155 --> 00:27:06,192
It's £4.99, please.

409
00:27:06,257 --> 00:27:07,531
Thank you.

410
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:12,138
Keep the penny. Thank you.

411
00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:23,480
I'm surprised they printed it.

412
00:27:23,541 --> 00:27:25,418
It's probably on the Internet.

413
00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:28,390
From the sound of it, most
have seen it already.

414
00:27:30,715 --> 00:27:31,989
For God's sake.

415
00:27:32,050 --> 00:27:34,155
Lots of people have
their photos taken

416
00:27:34,219 --> 00:27:36,597
with their tops off
on holiday in Ibiza.

417
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:39,329
I think it just probably
came as a slight shock.

418
00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:42,964
What with the previous 15 photos
being of flower arrangements.

419
00:27:43,695 --> 00:27:46,175
Oh, I've screwed up
again, haven't I?

420
00:27:46,231 --> 00:27:47,539
Yet again.

421
00:27:47,599 --> 00:27:49,545
Whoa, whoa.

422
00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:52,810
Look. What we have to ask
ourselves here is this.

423
00:27:52,871 --> 00:27:54,873
What is the difference
between this

424
00:27:54,939 --> 00:27:56,247
and the Venus De Milo?

425
00:27:56,307 --> 00:27:58,253
Oh, I love quizzes.

426
00:27:58,777 --> 00:28:00,154
The cooker?

427
00:28:00,211 --> 00:28:01,918
Celia.

428
00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:05,052
Both feature women with
their breasts exposed.

429
00:28:05,116 --> 00:28:07,596
What makes one a work of art?

430
00:28:07,652 --> 00:28:11,065
I think the answer to that
is very simple. An artist.

431
00:28:11,122 --> 00:28:12,863
She's clever.

432
00:28:15,593 --> 00:28:17,402
An artist.

433
00:28:27,505 --> 00:28:29,075
She's lovely.

434
00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:31,984
Lovely light you've
used on the face there.

435
00:28:32,043 --> 00:28:33,750
Really got her
eyes, didn't he?

436
00:28:33,812 --> 00:28:36,019
And all those curls.

437
00:28:40,085 --> 00:28:43,430
Have you photographed
humans, or is it mainly...

438
00:28:43,488 --> 00:28:46,196
'Tis mainly poodles.

439
00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:48,999
The blood represents
globalization.

440
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:53,065
And the sheep's skull is
the death of democracy.

441
00:28:54,065 --> 00:28:55,373
And the carrot?

442
00:28:55,433 --> 00:28:57,845
The carrot is capitalism.

443
00:29:03,541 --> 00:29:04,747
Mainly orchids.

444
00:29:04,809 --> 00:29:08,552
I'm particularly interested
in woodland orchids.

445
00:29:08,613 --> 00:29:09,887
And butterflies.

446
00:29:09,948 --> 00:29:13,555
I love photographing
native butterflies.

447
00:29:13,618 --> 00:29:16,121
What exactly is your project?

448
00:29:19,991 --> 00:29:22,995
Hello, ladies.

449
00:29:30,368 --> 00:29:32,439
This is crazy.

450
00:29:32,504 --> 00:29:34,415
He won't remember.

451
00:29:34,472 --> 00:29:38,079
Must see thousands of people
come through here every day.

452
00:29:39,744 --> 00:29:41,883
Mrs. Clarke.

453
00:29:41,946 --> 00:29:43,152
John's wife.

454
00:29:43,214 --> 00:29:44,693
Yes.

455
00:29:44,749 --> 00:29:45,955
Hiya.

456
00:29:47,218 --> 00:29:48,663
Hiya.

457
00:29:55,093 --> 00:29:57,039
Are you serious?

458
00:29:57,095 --> 00:30:00,235
You got 12 women in
Skipton who are all

459
00:30:00,298 --> 00:30:02,744
committed to doing a
nude photo shoot?

460
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,680
Well, technically,
we haven't got 12.

461
00:30:05,737 --> 00:30:09,014
So long as we can find
the right photographer.

462
00:30:20,618 --> 00:30:23,565
We've found the
right photographer.

463
00:30:24,923 --> 00:30:26,800
Are you going to commit to it?

464
00:30:27,725 --> 00:30:29,363
You are?

465
00:30:31,729 --> 00:30:32,799
Sorry.

466
00:30:34,465 --> 00:30:36,843
Don't think of it
as naked, Cora.

467
00:30:36,901 --> 00:30:38,380
It's not naked.

468
00:30:38,436 --> 00:30:39,847
It's nude.

469
00:30:40,605 --> 00:30:45,714
Annie, I am 55 years old.

470
00:30:46,711 --> 00:30:49,851
So, if I'm not gonna get
'em out now, when am I?

471
00:30:50,949 --> 00:30:52,087
Book!

472
00:30:54,886 --> 00:30:58,356
It's the showing-your-breasts
issue that concerns me.

473
00:30:58,423 --> 00:31:02,064
Well, I think the whole point
is that we don't properly.

474
00:31:02,126 --> 00:31:04,538
I know. That's
what concerns me.

475
00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:08,544
Yours are good, are they?

476
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,602
They're tremendous.

477
00:31:11,636 --> 00:31:14,173
Jessie, we're getting
to the point now

478
00:31:14,239 --> 00:31:16,116
where we really need to commit.

479
00:31:16,174 --> 00:31:18,654
- Now, I know...
- No front bottoms.

480
00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:20,155
What?

481
00:31:20,211 --> 00:31:23,681
I mean, just as long as
it's no front bottoms.

482
00:31:23,748 --> 00:31:26,695
That's a sight I've reserved
for one man in my life.

483
00:31:26,751 --> 00:31:28,731
Do you think your
husband will mind?

484
00:31:28,786 --> 00:31:30,288
It wasn't my husband.

485
00:31:30,355 --> 00:31:32,460
You've got a body
worth looking at.

486
00:31:32,523 --> 00:31:34,127
Just look at that parking.

487
00:31:34,192 --> 00:31:35,192
Ruth.

488
00:31:35,193 --> 00:31:39,039
Doesn't it annoy you when
people take two spaces?

489
00:31:39,097 --> 00:31:41,771
None of us have got a
body worth looking at.

490
00:31:41,833 --> 00:31:43,744
No, well, that's not...

491
00:31:46,638 --> 00:31:48,709
We're not all Chrises
in this life.

492
00:31:48,773 --> 00:31:50,810
Some of us are Ruths.

493
00:31:50,875 --> 00:31:51,979
I'm sorry.

494
00:31:54,145 --> 00:31:55,385
Ruth.

495
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:19,575
Right. I did a bit of
thinking about this calendar.

496
00:32:21,205 --> 00:32:24,948
Okay, I think there's a
trick we could play here.

497
00:32:25,009 --> 00:32:26,009
At first glance,

498
00:32:26,010 --> 00:32:29,116
it should look like your
classic W.I. calendar.

499
00:32:29,180 --> 00:32:34,289
You know, all your jams,
cakes, sewing, and all that.

500
00:32:34,352 --> 00:32:36,628
You know, everything
you'd expect.

501
00:32:36,688 --> 00:32:40,261
Except for one tiny thing.

502
00:32:40,325 --> 00:32:44,831
The person doing it is naked.

503
00:32:55,707 --> 00:32:57,448
It's perfect, Lawrence.

504
00:32:57,508 --> 00:32:59,181
Really, it's perfect.

505
00:32:59,243 --> 00:33:02,349
A different girl
for every month.

506
00:33:02,413 --> 00:33:04,415
In a different guise.

507
00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:07,395
Painting. Press.

508
00:33:08,286 --> 00:33:12,393
Until December, when I thought
we could do a group photo of you

509
00:33:12,457 --> 00:33:14,027
singing a Christmas carol.

510
00:33:14,092 --> 00:33:16,231
- That's a great idea!
- Great!

511
00:33:16,294 --> 00:33:17,830
I like Father Christmas.

512
00:33:17,895 --> 00:33:19,203
- Yes!
- Fantastic.

513
00:33:19,263 --> 00:33:20,901
There's just one problem.

514
00:33:20,965 --> 00:33:21,965
What?

515
00:33:21,966 --> 00:33:23,877
The photographer's a man.

516
00:33:23,935 --> 00:33:26,677
But the point is, we won't
be showing anything.

517
00:33:26,738 --> 00:33:28,615
In the photos.

518
00:33:28,673 --> 00:33:32,587
I imagine a considerable amount
will be on display in the room.

519
00:33:32,643 --> 00:33:33,986
That's a point.

520
00:33:34,045 --> 00:33:36,423
He'll have to be in the room.

521
00:33:36,481 --> 00:33:38,188
With us naked.

522
00:33:38,249 --> 00:33:40,354
Yeah. Or nude.

523
00:33:40,418 --> 00:33:44,298
No, listen. An art photographer
doesn't see a naked woman.

524
00:33:44,355 --> 00:33:46,062
He sees a life model.

525
00:33:46,124 --> 00:33:49,003
Yes. No, the nudity
isn't important.

526
00:33:49,060 --> 00:33:51,540
Easy to say when you've
got your knickers on.

527
00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:54,406
He'll be looking at
us as an artist.

528
00:33:54,465 --> 00:33:56,775
- I've heard that one before.
- Have you?

529
00:33:56,834 --> 00:33:58,905
Look, he's not that
kind of bloke.

530
00:33:58,970 --> 00:34:00,506
I've heard that one before.

531
00:34:00,571 --> 00:34:02,312
Where is he?

532
00:34:09,447 --> 00:34:11,290
Lawrence?

533
00:34:17,955 --> 00:34:21,835
I mean, have you any idea
how intimidating it is

534
00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:24,567
to come in here in
front of you lot?

535
00:34:25,263 --> 00:34:28,608
How much it's taken that
young man to do that?

536
00:34:31,569 --> 00:34:33,139
We're not gonna go around

537
00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:36,583
parading ourselves in
a room full of men!

538
00:34:36,641 --> 00:34:39,383
This isn't France.

539
00:34:39,444 --> 00:34:41,685
For God's sake.

540
00:34:41,746 --> 00:34:46,593
Lawrence will set up the
photo, leave the room.

541
00:34:46,651 --> 00:34:48,961
Dressing gowns come off.

542
00:34:49,020 --> 00:34:52,092
And one of us will
click the shutter.

543
00:34:55,126 --> 00:34:56,799
Right.

544
00:34:56,861 --> 00:34:58,898
Lawrence?

545
00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,744
I think these girls got
something to say to you.

546
00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:07,604
Sorry.

547
00:35:07,605 --> 00:35:09,516
Sorry.

548
00:35:09,574 --> 00:35:14,489
* I will not cease
from mental fight *

549
00:35:14,545 --> 00:35:19,824
* Nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand *

550
00:35:19,884 --> 00:35:26,028
* Till we have built
Jerusalem *

551
00:35:26,090 --> 00:35:34,566
* In England's
green and pleasant land *

552
00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:36,202
Right.

553
00:35:36,267 --> 00:35:38,975
Has anyone any
activities planned

554
00:35:39,036 --> 00:35:41,949
we might want to
seek approval for

555
00:35:42,006 --> 00:35:44,577
at national conference?

556
00:35:44,642 --> 00:35:46,815
Oh, yes. Always wise.

557
00:35:46,878 --> 00:35:50,348
Wouldn't want to do anything
without approval from national.

558
00:35:50,414 --> 00:35:52,758
Not with Knapely being
such a proud W.I.

559
00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:54,854
With an unblemished reputation.

560
00:35:56,087 --> 00:35:58,795
Where it would take
only one small act

561
00:35:58,856 --> 00:36:01,234
by a few rogue individuals

562
00:36:01,292 --> 00:36:02,965
to ruin a reputation

563
00:36:03,027 --> 00:36:05,405
that we've spent
all these years...

564
00:36:05,463 --> 00:36:08,137
All right. All right.

565
00:36:08,199 --> 00:36:12,670
Look, we're planning a
calendar for John, everyone.

566
00:36:12,737 --> 00:36:14,011
Yeah.

567
00:36:14,071 --> 00:36:17,382
It's to raise money

568
00:36:17,441 --> 00:36:19,978
to buy something for
the relatives room

569
00:36:20,044 --> 00:36:23,514
in Knapely General.

570
00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:27,022
And?

571
00:36:27,552 --> 00:36:30,294
And with us on it.

572
00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:32,766
One for each month.

573
00:36:33,324 --> 00:36:35,065
And?

574
00:36:35,993 --> 00:36:37,438
Well.

575
00:36:39,163 --> 00:36:41,769
That's about it, really.

576
00:36:41,832 --> 00:36:42,936
Naked!

577
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,138
Naked?

578
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:46,614
Not naked. Nude.

579
00:36:46,671 --> 00:36:48,014
What's the difference?

580
00:36:48,072 --> 00:36:49,642
Art.

581
00:36:49,707 --> 00:36:52,085
And seeing Marie's
raised the issue,

582
00:36:52,143 --> 00:36:54,623
we're a good few months short.

583
00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:57,591
Is that not because
all this has the air

584
00:36:57,648 --> 00:37:00,288
of another one of
Chris' great ideas?

585
00:37:00,351 --> 00:37:03,560
Like the vodka-tasting night?

586
00:37:03,621 --> 00:37:07,228
No. Because I'm going to make
sure this one turns out okay.

587
00:37:07,291 --> 00:37:09,669
Because it's for John.

588
00:37:09,727 --> 00:37:11,400
It was inspired by John.

589
00:37:11,462 --> 00:37:14,534
And it's for John. And
it's because of John.

590
00:37:14,599 --> 00:37:17,842
And no matter what you
might think of the idea,

591
00:37:17,902 --> 00:37:19,643
you're looking at January.

592
00:37:22,907 --> 00:37:23,942
February.

593
00:37:25,643 --> 00:37:27,088
March.

594
00:37:31,515 --> 00:37:33,051
'April! 'April!

595
00:37:42,727 --> 00:37:46,265
Chris, do we have to make
any special preparations?

596
00:37:46,330 --> 00:37:47,468
Oh, no. No.

597
00:37:47,531 --> 00:37:50,068
These pictures are going
to be us as we come.

598
00:37:50,134 --> 00:37:51,134
Oh, God.

599
00:37:51,135 --> 00:37:52,944
Gray hair. Cellulite. The lot.

600
00:37:53,004 --> 00:37:54,108
- Oh, no.
- Oh.

601
00:37:54,171 --> 00:37:55,980
Remember. "The last phase...

602
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,749
is the most glorious!"

603
00:38:00,978 --> 00:38:03,322
Do you have any
pictures of Rene Russo?

604
00:38:20,665 --> 00:38:22,702
- That's very good.
- Okay.

605
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:41,892
A week?

606
00:38:42,486 --> 00:38:44,466
I know. But he's a client.

607
00:38:44,522 --> 00:38:47,992
He does this new
chain of hotels.

608
00:38:48,059 --> 00:38:50,266
Northern summat.

609
00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:52,137
Shall I come?

610
00:38:53,698 --> 00:38:54,698
What?

611
00:38:54,699 --> 00:38:56,645
Oh, save your sanity, love.

612
00:38:56,701 --> 00:38:58,612
You know, it's carpet.

613
00:38:58,669 --> 00:39:01,775
If I raced dragsters,
might be worth watching.

614
00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:04,915
I wanted to play next Wednesday.

615
00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:08,218
But I've got a bloody
corp meeting in Halifax.

616
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:11,827
Oh, darling. Come on.

617
00:39:11,882 --> 00:39:13,293
Your hall's over there.

618
00:39:13,351 --> 00:39:14,921
I'm coming, Frank.

619
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,939
T-minus two hours. Bras
off to avoid strap marks.

620
00:39:25,996 --> 00:39:28,738
As we speak, darling.
As we speak.

621
00:39:28,799 --> 00:39:30,836
Darling! Come on.

622
00:39:30,901 --> 00:39:32,380
Good girl.

623
00:40:04,568 --> 00:40:06,104
So, we're going to go?

624
00:40:06,170 --> 00:40:08,548
- We're going to go.
- That's the decision?

625
00:40:08,606 --> 00:40:09,846
That's the decision.

626
00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:13,946
We're going to go and tell
them we're not going to do it.

627
00:40:40,337 --> 00:40:45,286
I've never appeared nude in
front of anyone in my life.

628
00:40:45,342 --> 00:40:46,480
Not even Frank?

629
00:40:46,544 --> 00:40:47,682
Frank's a major.

630
00:40:47,745 --> 00:40:51,386
We approach nudity on a
strictly need-to-know basis.

631
00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:54,225
None of us have been
here before, love.

632
00:40:54,285 --> 00:40:55,787
I mean, for God's sake,

633
00:40:55,853 --> 00:40:59,665
my John didn't see me naked
until the spring of 1975.

634
00:40:59,723 --> 00:41:02,067
What happened in
the spring of '75?

635
00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:05,073
There was a lizard in the
shower block at Abergale.

636
00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:10,611
Quite a few people saw
me naked that morning.

637
00:42:00,618 --> 00:42:02,495
Oh, that's not fair.

638
00:42:03,754 --> 00:42:04,858
That's it.

639
00:42:05,589 --> 00:42:06,727
Right.

640
00:42:08,158 --> 00:42:09,762
Shit or bust.

641
00:42:09,827 --> 00:42:11,500
Shit or bust.

642
00:42:11,562 --> 00:42:12,870
All right, Lawrence.

643
00:42:12,930 --> 00:42:14,307
Ready when you are.

644
00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:16,367
- She's the first.
- You're up.

645
00:42:25,543 --> 00:42:27,614
They'll never go
through with it.

646
00:42:29,847 --> 00:42:31,724
I'll put it here.

647
00:42:31,782 --> 00:42:34,126
Ladies, just bring
the lamp up a bit.

648
00:42:34,184 --> 00:42:35,458
Raise the lamp for me.

649
00:42:35,519 --> 00:42:37,260
No, don't touch that. Don't.

650
00:42:38,022 --> 00:42:39,433
Okay?

651
00:42:39,490 --> 00:42:40,594
Right.

652
00:42:40,658 --> 00:42:42,194
Annie? Chris?

653
00:42:42,259 --> 00:42:45,001
- Can you clear frame for me?
- Okay, yeah.

654
00:42:47,932 --> 00:42:49,741
Okay. Celia.

655
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,780
Just lean in toward
camera a bit.

656
00:42:51,835 --> 00:42:52,973
Right.

657
00:42:53,037 --> 00:42:54,037
Enough?

658
00:42:54,038 --> 00:42:55,915
Perfect.

659
00:43:04,815 --> 00:43:06,123
Okay.

660
00:43:06,183 --> 00:43:07,662
Ready.

661
00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:13,758
Okay.

662
00:43:18,228 --> 00:43:19,798
Lawrence...

663
00:43:19,863 --> 00:43:22,742
we're going to need
considerably bigger buns.

664
00:43:35,179 --> 00:43:37,420
Weren't the buns flat?

665
00:43:39,383 --> 00:43:41,954
No. Don't mess with the buns.

666
00:43:42,019 --> 00:43:44,329
I like them like this.
They cover more.

667
00:43:44,388 --> 00:43:47,301
No. Don't touch the composition.

668
00:43:47,358 --> 00:43:50,134
No, but, Lawrence. Were
the top buns flat?

669
00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:51,730
Flat.

670
00:43:51,795 --> 00:43:54,799
Yeah. But flat for
us or flat for her?

671
00:43:59,770 --> 00:44:03,308
Don't touch the buns.

672
00:44:05,042 --> 00:44:06,316
Please.

673
00:44:07,444 --> 00:44:08,821
Sorry.

674
00:44:12,149 --> 00:44:13,628
Bad girl.

675
00:44:14,618 --> 00:44:16,359
Bun toucher.

676
00:44:17,688 --> 00:44:19,690
She's got to look relaxed.

677
00:44:19,757 --> 00:44:21,930
I am bloody relaxed.

678
00:44:21,992 --> 00:44:23,232
She's got to smile.

679
00:44:23,293 --> 00:44:24,772
I am smiling.

680
00:44:24,828 --> 00:44:26,808
Not too much.

681
00:44:26,864 --> 00:44:30,243
I want it enigmatic.

682
00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:31,745
She looks like she's seen

683
00:44:31,802 --> 00:44:34,976
somebody she knows
in the distance.

684
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,614
Left side up a little.

685
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:42,214
Your right side down a little.

686
00:44:42,279 --> 00:44:43,952
And the middle section...

687
00:44:44,014 --> 00:44:47,188
For God's sake. Get bloody
Botticelli in here.

688
00:44:49,119 --> 00:44:51,121
- Lawrence.
- Hiya.

689
00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:52,826
Get in here.

690
00:44:59,797 --> 00:45:02,437
Chin down to your left.

691
00:45:04,735 --> 00:45:06,408
You look beautiful, Celia.

692
00:45:13,010 --> 00:45:14,887
Okay.

693
00:45:14,945 --> 00:45:16,481
We're away.

694
00:45:24,455 --> 00:45:27,402
I used to be in a
band in the '70s.

695
00:45:33,097 --> 00:45:34,440
Thank you.

696
00:45:36,633 --> 00:45:38,010
Yeah.

697
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,807
Come on, Sugden. It's your
own time you're wasting.

698
00:46:06,864 --> 00:46:09,538
I was his junior school teacher.

699
00:46:11,301 --> 00:46:13,338
Oh, Jessie.

700
00:46:13,403 --> 00:46:15,974
What did we say
about relaxing him?

701
00:46:16,039 --> 00:46:18,280
What did she say
about relaxing him?!

702
00:47:00,450 --> 00:47:02,555
There's no e-flat
in "Jerusalem."

703
00:47:02,619 --> 00:47:05,657
I'll be disappointed if they're
looking at me fingers.

704
00:47:42,826 --> 00:47:44,169
All right.

705
00:47:47,564 --> 00:47:49,271
Are you doing this one?

706
00:47:51,835 --> 00:47:53,405
What's your name?

707
00:47:53,470 --> 00:47:55,245
Ruth.

708
00:47:56,206 --> 00:47:58,982
I'm Lawrence. Photographer.

709
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,291
One minute.

710
00:48:12,956 --> 00:48:15,300
Lawrence. Lawrence,
who's next?

711
00:48:15,359 --> 00:48:16,429
Ruth.

712
00:48:16,493 --> 00:48:17,972
- Ruth?
- Ruth?

713
00:48:18,028 --> 00:48:19,268
Ruth?

714
00:48:19,329 --> 00:48:21,104
No. No, wait, Lawrence.

715
00:48:36,980 --> 00:48:39,551
Right. Let's do it.

716
00:48:57,234 --> 00:49:00,647
Could I have some privacy?

717
00:49:01,204 --> 00:49:03,741
- No.
- No.

718
00:49:03,807 --> 00:49:04,807
Off...

719
00:49:04,841 --> 00:49:07,788
Off! Off!

720
00:49:07,844 --> 00:49:10,484
Off! Off! Off!

721
00:49:18,989 --> 00:49:21,333
* We wish you
a merry Christmas *

722
00:49:21,391 --> 00:49:24,895
* And a happy New Year *

723
00:49:43,947 --> 00:49:46,120
Congratulations.

724
00:49:46,183 --> 00:49:48,060
It's a calendar.

725
00:49:57,294 --> 00:49:59,706
Yes. Black and white
with just one color.

726
00:49:59,763 --> 00:50:02,039
Oh, I don't know.

727
00:50:02,099 --> 00:50:03,737
300.

728
00:50:04,968 --> 00:50:06,470
400.

729
00:50:06,536 --> 00:50:09,483
No, 500 copies.

730
00:50:09,539 --> 00:50:11,610
So how much would that be?

731
00:50:16,646 --> 00:50:19,320
Thank you. Get back to you.

732
00:50:19,383 --> 00:50:20,726
It's never that much.

733
00:50:20,784 --> 00:50:22,161
Well, it bloody is.

734
00:50:23,487 --> 00:50:25,967
We're looking for sponsorship.

735
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:28,799
And my husband always
used your products.

736
00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:31,897
He worked for the
national parks.

737
00:50:31,962 --> 00:50:33,339
John Clarke?

738
00:50:33,397 --> 00:50:34,705
Yes. Yes. That's right.

739
00:50:34,765 --> 00:50:36,574
He died of leukemia.

740
00:50:36,633 --> 00:50:39,443
Aye, I know. I am sorry.

741
00:50:39,503 --> 00:50:40,503
Thank you.

742
00:50:40,504 --> 00:50:42,882
Well, what do you
need sponsorship for?

743
00:50:43,874 --> 00:50:45,353
Okay...

744
00:50:52,082 --> 00:50:53,322
We're getting there.

745
00:50:53,383 --> 00:50:55,829
But the sunflower needs
to leap out at you.

746
00:50:55,886 --> 00:50:57,297
More yellow.

747
00:50:57,354 --> 00:51:00,426
Quiet! Look, look. You
can't all be July.

748
00:51:00,490 --> 00:51:02,265
It's my birthday in July.

749
00:51:02,325 --> 00:51:05,534
My divorce came through in
March. I'd like September.

750
00:51:18,141 --> 00:51:19,141
Hi.

751
00:51:19,142 --> 00:51:22,214
I'm not disturbing you, am I?
I was just passing.

752
00:51:22,946 --> 00:51:24,789
Oh, I bought...

753
00:51:24,848 --> 00:51:26,759
They're nothing much.

754
00:51:26,817 --> 00:51:29,798
Oh, Marie, they're lovely.
Come on in.

755
00:51:36,493 --> 00:51:39,497
I never felt I really knew John.

756
00:51:40,497 --> 00:51:43,034
He worked for the
national park, didn't he?

757
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,408
Mmh.

758
00:51:45,535 --> 00:51:47,344
Annie, if there's anything...

759
00:51:47,404 --> 00:51:48,815
These are beautiful.

760
00:51:48,872 --> 00:51:51,045
What are they? Are
they gerberas?

761
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,109
Gorgeous.

762
00:51:53,910 --> 00:51:56,618
You should get away for a bit.
Have a holiday.

763
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:59,286
Get out of Knapely.

764
00:51:59,349 --> 00:52:01,124
Are you trying to
get rid of me?

765
00:52:01,184 --> 00:52:02,822
No, no. I just...

766
00:52:04,287 --> 00:52:06,289
I feel I have to say something.

767
00:52:06,356 --> 00:52:08,461
More tea?

768
00:52:08,525 --> 00:52:09,765
No, no.

769
00:52:12,395 --> 00:52:15,740
I know how difficult things
must be for you at the moment.

770
00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:18,177
How you must be feeling.

771
00:52:18,235 --> 00:52:20,181
Do you?

772
00:52:20,937 --> 00:52:22,473
Oh, dear.

773
00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:26,454
Do you think John
would have approved?

774
00:52:26,510 --> 00:52:28,285
Really?

775
00:52:28,345 --> 00:52:30,655
You didn't know John, you say.

776
00:52:30,714 --> 00:52:33,354
No. But I know that
he was a good man.

777
00:52:33,416 --> 00:52:35,453
A decent man.

778
00:52:35,519 --> 00:52:38,591
If your concern is
for the reputation

779
00:52:38,655 --> 00:52:39,793
of Knapely W.I...

780
00:52:39,856 --> 00:52:42,234
No, that's not what I'm saying.

781
00:52:42,292 --> 00:52:46,866
Marie, The W.I. is
about doing good.

782
00:52:46,930 --> 00:52:50,639
And I think we have to ask
ourselves what does more good.

783
00:52:50,700 --> 00:52:55,376
Knowing more about broccoli one
week than we did the last?

784
00:52:55,438 --> 00:52:59,284
Or providing some comfort for
someone in the worst hours?

785
00:52:59,342 --> 00:53:01,549
Because that's what it's like.

786
00:53:01,611 --> 00:53:05,320
And, no, I don't think
you do know how I feel.

787
00:53:07,817 --> 00:53:09,421
Annie!

788
00:53:10,487 --> 00:53:12,558
Result!

789
00:53:12,622 --> 00:53:13,362
Oh.

790
00:53:13,423 --> 00:53:15,835
Oh, hello, Marie. Sorry.

791
00:53:15,892 --> 00:53:17,166
Were you...

792
00:53:18,361 --> 00:53:19,362
I don't know.

793
00:53:19,429 --> 00:53:21,238
Marie, had you finished?

794
00:53:21,898 --> 00:53:24,936
Put a penny in with those.
They'll last longer.

795
00:53:26,303 --> 00:53:27,373
Chris.

796
00:53:28,538 --> 00:53:29,744
What was that about?

797
00:53:29,806 --> 00:53:31,877
Don't ask. What's the result?

798
00:53:31,942 --> 00:53:33,717
I've got us a sponsor.

799
00:53:33,777 --> 00:53:34,983
What?!

800
00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:37,958
Pbbt! To those boring old
farts at Carmichael Seed.

801
00:53:38,014 --> 00:53:40,688
Say hello to the lovely
people at Jennings.

802
00:53:40,750 --> 00:53:41,785
The beer?

803
00:53:41,851 --> 00:53:44,661
All our printing costs
and a press launch.

804
00:53:44,721 --> 00:53:49,830
All we have to do is put their
logo at the bottom of each page.

805
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:53,397
The seed company made sense.
Because John loved flowers.

806
00:53:53,463 --> 00:53:55,568
But he never drank beer, Chris.

807
00:53:55,632 --> 00:53:56,736
You know that.

808
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:59,371
It's not about the beer.
It's about the money.

809
00:54:11,848 --> 00:54:13,418
There it is.

810
00:54:13,483 --> 00:54:15,019
Well, have a look.

811
00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:16,928
Oh, it's beautiful.

812
00:54:24,394 --> 00:54:26,465
Hello, is this "The
Skipton News"?

813
00:54:26,529 --> 00:54:29,908
Could I speak to your
publicity person, please?

814
00:54:29,966 --> 00:54:31,775
I want to make an announcement.

815
00:54:31,835 --> 00:54:34,475
Sorry. Madam Chairman,
can I just...

816
00:54:34,537 --> 00:54:38,041
Madam Chairman. I'm sorry.
Sorry.

817
00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:39,519
It's Knapely.

818
00:54:39,576 --> 00:54:41,146
- Sorry?
- In Yorkshire.

819
00:54:41,211 --> 00:54:42,417
Oh, charming.

820
00:54:42,479 --> 00:54:45,426
I'm sorry to bother you in
the middle of conference.

821
00:54:45,482 --> 00:54:48,361
But there's an issue
come up at my W.I.

822
00:54:48,418 --> 00:54:50,728
which I feel duty-bound
to inform you of.

823
00:54:50,787 --> 00:54:53,358
Well, you'll have to be brief.
This way.

824
00:54:57,494 --> 00:54:59,474
Bastard!

825
00:54:59,529 --> 00:55:02,305
She wouldn't have
done it deliberately.

826
00:55:02,365 --> 00:55:03,901
I hate to use the word...

827
00:55:03,967 --> 00:55:05,571
- Well, don't, then.
- No.

828
00:55:05,635 --> 00:55:07,171
It might have slipped out.

829
00:55:07,237 --> 00:55:08,682
Yes. To Brenda Mooney.

830
00:55:08,738 --> 00:55:12,709
Who happens to be Madam Chairman
of the national W.I. Federation.

831
00:55:12,776 --> 00:55:14,255
Well, we could just...

832
00:55:14,311 --> 00:55:17,451
Marie has deliberately
poured poison down there.

833
00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:18,652
Well, we'll just...

834
00:55:18,715 --> 00:55:20,490
What? Do what? Do what, Ruth?

835
00:55:20,550 --> 00:55:22,052
Please tell me.

836
00:55:22,118 --> 00:55:25,861
Seeing as 500 calendars are
being printed as we speak.

837
00:55:25,922 --> 00:55:28,528
If we can't use the name
"Women's Institute,"

838
00:55:28,591 --> 00:55:30,036
we just don't use it.

839
00:55:30,093 --> 00:55:32,004
If it's not the
Women's Institute,

840
00:55:32,062 --> 00:55:34,235
it's just a load of
middle-aged women

841
00:55:34,297 --> 00:55:37,710
mysteriously standing
naked behind fruitcakes.

842
00:55:41,037 --> 00:55:44,348
Oh, my God. It would
look like pornography.

843
00:55:50,113 --> 00:55:52,559
But I don't know what's
on the order form.

844
00:55:52,615 --> 00:55:56,222
Look, it's under the tin can
where the bent nail used to be.

845
00:55:56,286 --> 00:55:59,733
You're just gonna have to sort
this one out on your own.

846
00:55:59,789 --> 00:56:01,393
Why?

847
00:56:01,458 --> 00:56:02,835
Where the hell are you?

848
00:56:02,892 --> 00:56:04,496
Tell you later.

849
00:56:04,561 --> 00:56:07,940
I'll be back tonight for
the press conference. Bye.

850
00:56:10,734 --> 00:56:12,611
Oh, good!

851
00:56:12,669 --> 00:56:14,842
Chris Harper and Annie
Clarke from Knapely

852
00:56:14,904 --> 00:56:16,008
to see Brenda Mooney.

853
00:56:16,072 --> 00:56:17,415
You're official delegates?

854
00:56:17,474 --> 00:56:18,919
- No.
- Yes. From Knapely.

855
00:56:18,975 --> 00:56:20,852
Yes. From Knapely.

856
00:56:20,910 --> 00:56:22,480
And you're to do an open spot?

857
00:56:22,545 --> 00:56:23,683
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Yes.

858
00:56:23,747 --> 00:56:25,124
All right. Follow me.

859
00:56:25,181 --> 00:56:26,683
We're in.

860
00:56:29,252 --> 00:56:31,732
What's an open spot?
Sounds painful.

861
00:56:31,788 --> 00:56:32,823
I don't know.

862
00:56:32,889 --> 00:56:34,994
Very last-minute. Have
to go on straightaway.

863
00:56:35,058 --> 00:56:37,265
- On where?
- Don't know.

864
00:56:38,561 --> 00:56:40,131
Which W.I. are you?

865
00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:41,300
We're from Knapely.

866
00:56:41,364 --> 00:56:42,809
An awful lot of them.

867
00:56:46,603 --> 00:56:49,140
Brenda... Mrs.... sorry.

868
00:56:49,205 --> 00:56:50,878
Madam Chairperson.

869
00:56:50,940 --> 00:56:52,613
Conference, please.

870
00:56:52,675 --> 00:56:54,052
Sorry? I beg Your pardon?

871
00:56:54,110 --> 00:56:56,852
Address the whole
conference, please.

872
00:57:08,291 --> 00:57:10,328
Come on. You can do it.

873
00:57:11,194 --> 00:57:14,505
The final open spot
of the morning

874
00:57:14,564 --> 00:57:16,544
is the delegate from Knapely.

875
00:57:16,599 --> 00:57:17,600
Knaperly-

876
00:57:17,667 --> 00:57:19,237
Knapely.

877
00:57:24,007 --> 00:57:25,247
I...

878
00:57:28,978 --> 00:57:31,322
We wanted to come

879
00:57:31,381 --> 00:57:36,126
to ask approval from...

880
00:57:37,620 --> 00:57:39,600
Well, from you all.

881
00:57:41,991 --> 00:57:46,736
We want to do a W.I. calendar

882
00:57:46,796 --> 00:57:51,870
which raises enough
money to buy

883
00:57:51,935 --> 00:57:54,211
a chair or a seat.

884
00:57:54,270 --> 00:57:56,113
A sofa.

885
00:57:56,172 --> 00:57:59,016
Or anything, really.

886
00:58:06,449 --> 00:58:07,757
Sorry.

887
00:58:15,191 --> 00:58:16,636
Okay, so...

888
00:58:16,693 --> 00:58:19,537
the thing is here is that

889
00:58:19,596 --> 00:58:24,443
the hospital local to us in
Knapely is where my John...

890
00:58:27,070 --> 00:58:28,515
Where...

891
00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:34,352
My husband...

892
00:58:41,484 --> 00:58:45,227
Thank you, Knapely. Best
of luck with the settee.

893
00:58:45,288 --> 00:58:46,699
No, no. Just hold on.

894
00:58:46,756 --> 00:58:48,895
Just hold on with
your red light.

895
00:58:48,958 --> 00:58:51,165
Sorry, does the other
member from Knapely

896
00:58:51,227 --> 00:58:52,672
want to say something?

897
00:58:52,729 --> 00:58:56,199
Yes. Because she's about
to commit heresy.

898
00:58:57,033 --> 00:58:58,569
Hello?

899
00:58:58,635 --> 00:59:00,808
Here we go.

900
00:59:00,870 --> 00:59:02,679
- Oh, God.
- Look...

901
00:59:02,739 --> 00:59:04,912
I hate plum jam.

902
00:59:08,811 --> 00:59:11,587
I only joined the W.I.
to make my mother happy.

903
00:59:11,648 --> 00:59:13,355
I do. I hate plum jam.

904
00:59:13,416 --> 00:59:16,522
I'm crap at cakes.
I can't make sponge.

905
00:59:16,586 --> 00:59:20,762
Seeing as it's unlikely that
George Clooney would come

906
00:59:20,823 --> 00:59:24,703
to do a talk on "ER," there
seems very little reason

907
00:59:24,761 --> 00:59:27,298
for me to actually
stay in the W.I.

908
00:59:27,363 --> 00:59:32,642
Except suddenly
I want to raise money

909
00:59:32,702 --> 00:59:34,613
in memory of a man I loved.

910
00:59:34,671 --> 00:59:38,084
And I'm prepared to take me
clothes off for a W.I. calendar.

911
00:59:38,141 --> 00:59:39,586
And if you can't give us

912
00:59:39,642 --> 00:59:42,452
ten minutes of your
time, Madam Chairman,

913
00:59:42,512 --> 00:59:43,957
then, frankly, guys,

914
00:59:44,013 --> 00:59:46,425
I'm going to do it without
council approval.

915
00:59:46,482 --> 00:59:49,395
Because there are things
that are more important

916
00:59:49,452 --> 00:59:51,557
than council approval.

917
00:59:51,621 --> 00:59:55,626
And if it means that we
get closer to killing off

918
00:59:55,692 --> 00:59:59,834
this shitty, cheating, sly,

919
00:59:59,896 --> 01:00:02,706
conniving, bloody
disease that cancer is,

920
01:00:02,765 --> 01:00:03,971
oh, God, I tell you,

921
01:00:04,033 --> 01:00:07,344
I'd run around Skipton market
naked, smeared in plum jam,

922
01:00:07,403 --> 01:00:09,906
wearing nothing but a
tea cozy on me head

923
01:00:09,973 --> 01:00:11,816
and singing "Jerusalem."

924
01:00:26,289 --> 01:00:28,667
Let's break.

925
01:00:28,725 --> 01:00:30,227
Ten minutes.

926
01:00:44,741 --> 01:00:46,880
We don't do nudity.

927
01:00:48,077 --> 01:00:50,455
But we do do charity.

928
01:00:50,513 --> 01:00:52,925
Can I assume this is
a local fund-raiser?

929
01:00:52,982 --> 01:00:55,861
You're not going to be
making too big of a hoo-ha?

930
01:00:55,918 --> 01:00:58,296
In which case, it's
a branch matter.

931
01:00:58,354 --> 01:01:00,334
And I can leave any decision

932
01:01:00,390 --> 01:01:03,837
in the hands of your
branch president.

933
01:01:03,893 --> 01:01:06,169
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

934
01:01:11,901 --> 01:01:14,074
Oh, sod it. Go on, then.

935
01:01:17,173 --> 01:01:18,914
Oh, God!

936
01:01:18,975 --> 01:01:21,182
Did you hear what she said?

937
01:01:26,616 --> 01:01:28,596
- "Evening News"?
- Done.

938
01:01:28,651 --> 01:01:31,257
- Did you invite "The Gazette"?
- Yes.

939
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:33,664
So did I. We'll
have two of them.

940
01:01:33,723 --> 01:01:35,202
Here we go.

941
01:01:35,258 --> 01:01:37,295
Thank you. Keep the change.

942
01:01:39,328 --> 01:01:41,069
Oh, my God! It's half past!

943
01:01:41,130 --> 01:01:43,132
Come on. The girls
will have done

944
01:01:43,199 --> 01:01:45,201
half the press
conference by now.

945
01:01:45,268 --> 01:01:47,248
Right. Where are we?

946
01:01:47,303 --> 01:01:49,340
I think it's down here.
Come on.

947
01:01:53,209 --> 01:01:54,620
Oh. Here we are.

948
01:02:05,021 --> 01:02:07,262
How many press releases
did I send out?

949
01:02:07,323 --> 01:02:11,066
How many soddin' press releases?

950
01:02:11,127 --> 01:02:14,040
Bloody local paper.

951
01:02:14,097 --> 01:02:17,271
What bigger than this has
happened in Knapely tonight?

952
01:02:17,333 --> 01:02:19,813
Someone's grown a
U-shaped marrow.

953
01:02:23,372 --> 01:02:25,818
We're going to lose
money, aren't we?

954
01:02:26,609 --> 01:02:29,488
Oh. Not only are we not
going to raise it,

955
01:02:29,545 --> 01:02:31,456
we're actually going to lose it.

956
01:02:32,715 --> 01:02:36,788
I suppose we did promise it
wouldn't be a big hoo-ha.

957
01:02:37,787 --> 01:02:40,097
We tried.

958
01:02:40,156 --> 01:02:42,397
At least you made that speech.

959
01:02:43,693 --> 01:02:44,693
Yeah.

960
01:02:44,727 --> 01:02:47,003
Well, it's not enough, Annie.

961
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:54,215
I'd rather not have tried than
to have to face Marie and say,

962
01:02:54,270 --> 01:02:57,740
"You were right. It was
another one of Chris' ideas."

963
01:03:00,510 --> 01:03:03,150
And what's worse. And
this is a good one.

964
01:03:03,212 --> 01:03:04,657
To add insult to injury,

965
01:03:04,714 --> 01:03:07,456
I took me clothes off and
no one was interested.

966
01:03:07,517 --> 01:03:09,087
You after the W.I. thing?

967
01:03:09,152 --> 01:03:10,426
- Yes.
- Yes.

968
01:03:10,486 --> 01:03:13,365
Had to spill over.
They're in ballroom.

969
01:03:20,163 --> 01:03:22,370
I don't think it's
giving anything away

970
01:03:22,431 --> 01:03:24,206
to say we did have wine.

971
01:03:24,267 --> 01:03:25,507
Aah!

972
01:03:25,568 --> 01:03:27,377
- Chris!
- Celia!

973
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,851
- Chris?
- Chris, could you take...

974
01:04:46,916 --> 01:04:49,123
Ooh! Ooh!

975
01:04:49,185 --> 01:04:50,687
Chris! Chris!

976
01:04:54,657 --> 01:04:58,002
You're nude in "The
Telegraph," dear.

977
01:05:00,329 --> 01:05:03,037
Can you pass the bacon?

978
01:05:24,687 --> 01:05:26,394
Open up, Maya, love. Will you?

979
01:05:26,455 --> 01:05:28,093
I have, Mum.

980
01:05:28,157 --> 01:05:29,659
We're full.

981
01:05:39,835 --> 01:05:42,145
One minute, the
dressing gown was on.

982
01:05:42,204 --> 01:05:45,117
And the next, it was
just me and the hat.

983
01:05:45,174 --> 01:05:47,620
I'm standing here in the
village of Knapely,

984
01:05:47,677 --> 01:05:49,179
where the Women's Institute

985
01:05:49,245 --> 01:05:52,055
has not only been raising
money but raising eyebrows

986
01:05:52,114 --> 01:05:54,094
by stripping for a
charity calendar.

987
01:05:54,150 --> 01:05:56,790
I'm thinking of taking
it up professionally.

988
01:05:56,852 --> 01:05:58,263
What's your family think?

989
01:05:58,321 --> 01:06:01,564
I was worried that my daughter
would be embarrassed.

990
01:06:01,624 --> 01:06:03,535
But she talked me into it.

991
01:06:03,592 --> 01:06:05,799
Any magazine offers?

992
01:06:06,395 --> 01:06:08,272
It's his village, is Knapely.

993
01:06:08,331 --> 01:06:10,971
The house he grew up in
was down Embsay Lane.

994
01:06:11,033 --> 01:06:13,479
And that church is
where we got married.

995
01:06:13,536 --> 01:06:15,880
Oh, hiya, Jessie!

996
01:06:15,938 --> 01:06:17,975
Okay. Sorry.

997
01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:19,383
Miss September.

998
01:06:19,442 --> 01:06:21,945
It's done me a world of good.

999
01:06:25,448 --> 01:06:27,826
So, Chris, what
gave you the idea?

1000
01:06:29,018 --> 01:06:30,395
Oh. Excuse me.

1001
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:34,900
Hiya, dear.

1002
01:06:34,957 --> 01:06:38,063
I brought my journalists
to meet your journalists.

1003
01:06:38,794 --> 01:06:40,273
Hello.

1004
01:06:41,263 --> 01:06:45,143
To develop ideas
and to have...

1005
01:06:45,201 --> 01:06:46,441
You know, after all,

1006
01:06:46,502 --> 01:06:51,042
the W.I. is about education
and empowerment of women.

1007
01:06:51,107 --> 01:06:53,212
It's not just jam
and "Jerusalem."

1008
01:06:53,275 --> 01:06:55,915
The W.I. nude calendar?

1009
01:06:55,978 --> 01:06:58,015
No, love. Sorry.

1010
01:06:58,080 --> 01:07:01,789
But I definitely sent
you a batch of 50.

1011
01:07:01,851 --> 01:07:02,851
Look.

1012
01:07:02,885 --> 01:07:05,422
"Minstergate Bookshop.
York. 50."

1013
01:07:05,488 --> 01:07:06,660
And I got 'em, love.

1014
01:07:06,722 --> 01:07:08,861
And I put 'em out at 9:00.

1015
01:07:08,924 --> 01:07:11,871
And at 10 past 9:00,
we'd sold out.

1016
01:07:15,631 --> 01:07:17,008
Thanks very much.

1017
01:07:17,066 --> 01:07:19,068
Thank you!

1018
01:07:20,202 --> 01:07:21,579
Annie!

1019
01:07:22,905 --> 01:07:23,906
Annie!

1020
01:07:25,674 --> 01:07:28,348
We've got to order
more calendars.

1021
01:07:28,411 --> 01:07:30,755
We're down to the last 25.

1022
01:07:33,115 --> 01:07:34,560
What is it?

1023
01:07:34,617 --> 01:07:36,756
They were waiting for me.

1024
01:07:36,819 --> 01:07:37,854
Who?

1025
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:39,524
When I got back.

1026
01:07:47,763 --> 01:07:51,074
Oh, my God.

1027
01:07:52,768 --> 01:07:54,645
Look at this, Chris.

1028
01:08:01,610 --> 01:08:03,089
It's happened to them.

1029
01:08:03,145 --> 01:08:05,250
Just like it's happened to me.

1030
01:08:05,981 --> 01:08:07,790
I'm going to help them.

1031
01:08:11,620 --> 01:08:13,657
"And your photo made me smile

1032
01:08:13,722 --> 01:08:16,965
for the first time in 15 months.

1033
01:08:17,026 --> 01:08:20,405
Now I smile whenever
I see the calendar."

1034
01:08:21,263 --> 01:08:24,767
"Thank you, girls, for
your bravery and beauty.

1035
01:08:24,834 --> 01:08:27,144
Best wishes, Vera Mason."

1036
01:08:27,203 --> 01:08:30,184
"It reminded me so of Arlene.

1037
01:08:30,239 --> 01:08:33,686
You seem to have the
same spirit she had.

1038
01:08:33,742 --> 01:08:37,622
She would have howled with
laughter at your photographs.

1039
01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:41,253
Thank you again. Looking
forward to the next."

1040
01:08:44,487 --> 01:08:46,899
"I'm currently in the
high-security wing

1041
01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:50,369
of Her Majesty's Prison
Barlinnie in Scotland

1042
01:08:50,426 --> 01:08:54,397
and was mightily impressed by
the sheer size of your..."

1043
01:08:59,001 --> 01:09:00,708
It's on! It's on!

1044
01:09:03,405 --> 01:09:05,476
Speaking to the instigator

1045
01:09:05,541 --> 01:09:08,647
of the world's first nude W.I.
calendar.

1046
01:09:08,711 --> 01:09:09,815
Chris Harper.

1047
01:09:09,879 --> 01:09:12,951
So, Chris, tell us how
it all came about.

1048
01:09:13,015 --> 01:09:17,486
You wouldn't associate the
Women's Institute with nudity.

1049
01:09:17,553 --> 01:09:20,466
No, no. The usual image
of the W.I. calendar

1050
01:09:20,523 --> 01:09:23,231
is of plums and jam
and country views.

1051
01:09:23,292 --> 01:09:25,795
We thought if glamour
photographers can do it

1052
01:09:25,861 --> 01:09:27,499
on a beach in Bangkok,

1053
01:09:27,563 --> 01:09:30,237
we could do it in a
church hall near Skipton.

1054
01:09:36,739 --> 01:09:38,309
Fantastic.

1055
01:09:38,374 --> 01:09:40,718
We feel fabulously!

1056
01:09:42,311 --> 01:09:44,655
I was trying to get in there.

1057
01:09:46,649 --> 01:09:48,925
Middle age didn't put
them off stripping.

1058
01:09:48,984 --> 01:09:51,828
Now these women are
hogging the headlines.

1059
01:09:51,887 --> 01:09:53,560
Chris Harper's behind it all.

1060
01:09:53,622 --> 01:09:57,399
Rather than fall back on the
usual twee landscape scenes,

1061
01:09:57,459 --> 01:09:59,666
she talked her friends
into posing nude

1062
01:09:59,728 --> 01:10:01,867
for their Women's
Institute calendar.

1063
01:10:01,931 --> 01:10:03,774
Not quite the jam
and "Jerusalem"

1064
01:10:03,832 --> 01:10:05,675
the ladies are
usually known for.

1065
01:10:05,734 --> 01:10:08,578
Chris says their husbands will
never look at their wives

1066
01:10:08,637 --> 01:10:10,014
in the same way again.

1067
01:10:10,072 --> 01:10:14,646
Neither will the other members
of this quiet little community.

1068
01:11:07,563 --> 01:11:08,769
Where are you going?

1069
01:11:08,831 --> 01:11:09,935
It's Thursday.

1070
01:11:09,999 --> 01:11:12,605
But you just got back
from the conference.

1071
01:11:12,668 --> 01:11:15,148
Eddie, I've got a
surprise for you.

1072
01:11:15,204 --> 01:11:17,275
I've had it.

1073
01:11:17,339 --> 01:11:21,151
I got it when someone in
the petrol queue said,

1074
01:11:21,210 --> 01:11:24,248
"Ain't this tart with her
tits out your wife?"

1075
01:11:31,086 --> 01:11:32,565
Eddie.

1076
01:11:33,856 --> 01:11:35,802
Eddie. I didn't
do it just to...

1077
01:11:35,858 --> 01:11:37,269
I just...

1078
01:11:37,593 --> 01:11:39,072
Eddie!

1079
01:11:46,268 --> 01:11:47,508
Burston wedding today.

1080
01:11:47,569 --> 01:11:48,707
Morning, Jem.

1081
01:11:48,771 --> 01:11:49,771
I'm Gaz.

1082
01:11:49,772 --> 01:11:51,809
And we've got another order.

1083
01:11:51,874 --> 01:11:54,718
It's a massive order, Chris.

1084
01:11:54,777 --> 01:11:56,381
Guy's coming 'round at 4:30.

1085
01:11:56,445 --> 01:11:58,618
Got a meeting.

1086
01:11:58,681 --> 01:12:01,127
- When are you back?
- Later. Bye.

1087
01:12:01,183 --> 01:12:02,924
When later?

1088
01:12:04,353 --> 01:12:06,060
Anyone seen Jem?

1089
01:12:10,659 --> 01:12:12,730
Normally more than one of you?

1090
01:12:14,129 --> 01:12:17,042
Aye. Sorry.

1091
01:12:17,099 --> 01:12:20,103
But my wife.

1092
01:12:20,169 --> 01:12:21,944
She's a bit busy at the moment.

1093
01:12:22,004 --> 01:12:23,142
Kids?

1094
01:12:23,205 --> 01:12:24,479
No.

1095
01:12:25,174 --> 01:12:29,145
It's some W.I. calendar
thing she's organized.

1096
01:12:29,211 --> 01:12:30,690
She's on a chat show.

1097
01:12:30,746 --> 01:12:32,657
Not the calendar.
The nude one?

1098
01:12:33,782 --> 01:12:34,782
Aye.

1099
01:12:34,817 --> 01:12:36,763
Well, we just bought one.

1100
01:12:36,819 --> 01:12:37,957
My wife came home.

1101
01:12:38,020 --> 01:12:40,330
Seriously. It's fantastic.

1102
01:12:40,389 --> 01:12:42,494
I'll tell her.

1103
01:12:42,558 --> 01:12:46,631
So, I've bought
flowers off mister.

1104
01:12:46,695 --> 01:12:48,606
Come on, then.
Which one is she?

1105
01:12:50,599 --> 01:12:52,169
January.

1106
01:12:52,801 --> 01:12:55,247
Suppose you're getting
sick of all this.

1107
01:12:55,304 --> 01:12:56,339
Aye.

1108
01:13:00,542 --> 01:13:03,216
Oi, give us some of that.

1109
01:13:09,518 --> 01:13:11,657
Thought I'd find you here.

1110
01:13:11,720 --> 01:13:13,199
You all right?

1111
01:13:15,257 --> 01:13:17,203
You got any money?

1112
01:13:17,259 --> 01:13:20,035
I mean, what is funny,
between you and me,

1113
01:13:20,095 --> 01:13:21,938
some of the blokes.

1114
01:13:21,997 --> 01:13:23,340
Frank.

1115
01:13:23,399 --> 01:13:26,778
His wife would hardly undress
in front of him before.

1116
01:13:26,835 --> 01:13:29,873
And now, apparently,

1117
01:13:29,938 --> 01:13:31,713
you know...

1118
01:13:36,011 --> 01:13:38,753
It's not had that
effect in our bedroom,

1119
01:13:38,814 --> 01:13:39,952
I can tell you.

1120
01:13:40,015 --> 01:13:41,551
Hardly see her.

1121
01:13:43,719 --> 01:13:45,494
Sorry. I can't resist this.

1122
01:13:45,554 --> 01:13:47,261
Mr. January.

1123
01:13:47,322 --> 01:13:48,995
You don't mind, do you?

1124
01:13:49,057 --> 01:13:52,800
Aye. As long as I don't have
to take me clothes off.

1125
01:13:56,799 --> 01:13:59,803
* I will not cease *

1126
01:13:59,868 --> 01:14:02,439
* From mental fight *

1127
01:14:02,504 --> 01:14:08,284
* Nor shall my sword sleep
in my hand *

1128
01:14:08,343 --> 01:14:14,487
* Till we have built
Jerusalem *

1129
01:14:14,550 --> 01:14:17,292
I'll tell you.
It's unbelievable.

1130
01:14:17,352 --> 01:14:19,093
Well, for the last two hours,

1131
01:14:19,154 --> 01:14:22,431
I have been
exchanging phone calls.

1132
01:14:23,692 --> 01:14:24,932
With Hollywood.

1133
01:14:24,993 --> 01:14:26,939
What?! The real one?

1134
01:14:26,995 --> 01:14:29,134
No, Celia. The chocolate one.

1135
01:14:29,198 --> 01:14:30,643
Yes. The real one.

1136
01:14:30,699 --> 01:14:32,610
From who?

1137
01:14:32,668 --> 01:14:35,376
From the studio of
a show with a man

1138
01:14:35,437 --> 01:14:37,007
whose name I've forgotten.

1139
01:14:37,072 --> 01:14:39,985
They're not coming all
the way from America.

1140
01:14:40,042 --> 01:14:41,521
No.

1141
01:14:41,577 --> 01:14:43,716
We're going to do
it on the phone?

1142
01:14:43,779 --> 01:14:44,553
No.

1143
01:14:44,613 --> 01:14:47,958
They only do
face-to-face interview.

1144
01:14:48,016 --> 01:14:51,691
But if they won't come here or
do it on the phone, how are...

1145
01:14:51,753 --> 01:14:53,130
Oh, my God.

1146
01:14:53,755 --> 01:14:55,632
Are we going to Hollywood?

1147
01:14:58,961 --> 01:15:01,464
NOW, you're joking?

1148
01:15:02,498 --> 01:15:05,707
Reynoldson. With a

1149
01:15:07,402 --> 01:15:09,439
Ohh, he's there.

1150
01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:10,745
Oh, please.

1151
01:15:10,806 --> 01:15:13,184
Could you put me
through to his room?

1152
01:15:19,081 --> 01:15:20,458
Eddie?

1153
01:15:31,527 --> 01:15:37,443
Your toilet was broken.
But I've fixed it now.

1154
01:15:39,067 --> 01:15:40,569
All right, lads.

1155
01:15:42,437 --> 01:15:43,939
Can I help you, officer?

1156
01:15:44,006 --> 01:15:46,885
You can put that joint
out for a start.

1157
01:15:53,682 --> 01:15:54,683
Hollywood?

1158
01:15:54,750 --> 01:15:58,061
Well, it's not for fun.
It's really important.

1159
01:15:58,120 --> 01:16:00,157
If we get on the
telly in America,

1160
01:16:00,222 --> 01:16:02,566
it's fantastic publicity.

1161
01:16:02,624 --> 01:16:05,503
I mean, just imagine.
The whole of America.

1162
01:16:07,696 --> 01:16:10,074
What about our business, Chris?

1163
01:16:10,132 --> 01:16:12,339
Or is that not important?

1164
01:16:22,077 --> 01:16:23,454
Can you get that?

1165
01:16:26,648 --> 01:16:28,753
I'm in a meeting.

1166
01:16:28,817 --> 01:16:31,195
Hello. Flower Power.

1167
01:16:34,489 --> 01:16:37,129
It won't be anything serious.

1168
01:16:37,192 --> 01:16:38,330
It'll be all right.

1169
01:16:40,095 --> 01:16:41,665
They're not charging him.

1170
01:16:41,730 --> 01:16:42,538
Why?

1171
01:16:42,598 --> 01:16:44,441
Is it not illegal, then?

1172
01:16:44,499 --> 01:16:45,603
Well, cannabis is.

1173
01:16:45,667 --> 01:16:49,012
But they tend not to worry
too much about oregano.

1174
01:16:49,071 --> 01:16:50,550
Right.

1175
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:52,916
Right.

1176
01:16:52,975 --> 01:16:54,682
Oh, Jem.

1177
01:16:54,743 --> 01:16:57,087
You stupid...

1178
01:16:57,145 --> 01:16:59,489
Oh, thanks, Mum.

1179
01:16:59,548 --> 01:17:01,494
- Jem.
- It's all right.

1180
01:17:01,550 --> 01:17:03,689
We've already had
a father-and-son.

1181
01:17:03,752 --> 01:17:06,426
You've got to sign something
before we can go.

1182
01:17:06,488 --> 01:17:07,990
- Right.
- Jem!

1183
01:17:08,056 --> 01:17:10,502
Would you like to
come this way, madam?

1184
01:17:10,559 --> 01:17:12,197
Yes. All right.

1185
01:17:12,260 --> 01:17:14,638
Oh. Thanks.

1186
01:17:26,541 --> 01:17:27,542
Thanks very much.

1187
01:17:27,609 --> 01:17:29,145
- Good night.
- Good night.

1188
01:17:30,612 --> 01:17:33,491
Where is it? Where
the hell is it?

1189
01:17:33,548 --> 01:17:35,357
Passport.

1190
01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:39,531
I'm hoping they'll let me
in with a few calendars.

1191
01:17:39,588 --> 01:17:43,502
After we've been on the telly,
we might be able to shift a few.

1192
01:17:43,558 --> 01:17:44,558
Wait a minute.

1193
01:17:44,559 --> 01:17:47,165
The holidays are all
different there.

1194
01:17:47,229 --> 01:17:49,072
Maybe we'll have
to do a reprint.

1195
01:17:49,131 --> 01:17:52,044
You know. The
American version.

1196
01:17:52,768 --> 01:17:54,338
So...

1197
01:17:54,403 --> 01:17:57,316
Your son's been arrested.

1198
01:17:58,440 --> 01:18:00,351
Yes, I know.

1199
01:18:00,409 --> 01:18:03,754
And released, Annie. With
10 grams of oregano.

1200
01:18:03,812 --> 01:18:06,918
The only thing that'd be
dangerous in is a quiche.

1201
01:18:07,616 --> 01:18:10,062
But he thought it
was drugs, Chris.

1202
01:18:11,386 --> 01:18:13,366
Do you want to stay?

1203
01:18:14,389 --> 01:18:16,164
Find out why?

1204
01:18:18,927 --> 01:18:21,840
Well, yes. I mean, I do,
obviously. But...

1205
01:18:23,999 --> 01:18:27,208
Well, the woman in the
studio contacted me, Annie.

1206
01:18:27,269 --> 01:18:28,407
I'm one who...

1207
01:18:28,470 --> 01:18:31,212
Chris. Chris, we can cope.

1208
01:18:32,474 --> 01:18:33,782
We're big girls.

1209
01:18:35,343 --> 01:18:37,584
Particularly Celia.

1210
01:19:11,580 --> 01:19:12,581
Hello.

1211
01:19:14,349 --> 01:19:18,297
I was wondering if you could
quote me for some carpet.

1212
01:19:20,055 --> 01:19:22,160
You do sell carpets?

1213
01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:25,403
You are the owner of
a carpet warehouse?

1214
01:19:25,460 --> 01:19:27,167
Sorry. I'm with someone.

1215
01:19:27,229 --> 01:19:30,335
I know. My husband.

1216
01:19:34,035 --> 01:19:36,413
I just came to Ilkley

1217
01:19:36,471 --> 01:19:39,315
to see what I wasn't
as good as.

1218
01:19:40,609 --> 01:19:43,021
Okay. Well, you've
done that now.

1219
01:19:45,347 --> 01:19:49,124
He told me you were the manager
of a carpet warehouse.

1220
01:19:50,018 --> 01:19:51,588
Told me you were dead.

1221
01:19:54,990 --> 01:19:56,992
I think maybe I have been.

1222
01:19:57,893 --> 01:20:00,339
You are looking good, baby.

1223
01:20:00,395 --> 01:20:02,671
Sorry?

1224
01:20:02,731 --> 01:20:05,610
Which one of us are you
talking about, Eddie?

1225
01:20:05,667 --> 01:20:08,170
The one that makes
a tart of herself?

1226
01:20:08,236 --> 01:20:09,738
Or me?

1227
01:20:10,338 --> 01:20:11,976
Sod off.

1228
01:20:12,040 --> 01:20:13,110
Eddie.

1229
01:20:13,175 --> 01:20:14,175
No, no.

1230
01:20:14,176 --> 01:20:17,055
You stay and enjoy yourselves.

1231
01:20:17,112 --> 01:20:19,149
I'm off to Hollywood.

1232
01:20:22,317 --> 01:20:23,921
Eddie.

1233
01:20:27,589 --> 01:20:29,330
Sorry I'm late.

1234
01:20:29,391 --> 01:20:31,632
Frank was so slow.

1235
01:20:31,693 --> 01:20:34,731
Bloody hell, Celia.
How many frocks?

1236
01:20:34,796 --> 01:20:36,400
And you'll be flooded out.

1237
01:20:36,464 --> 01:20:40,207
And if anything goes wrong,
phone your Auntie Syl.

1238
01:20:41,303 --> 01:20:44,147
Aren't you gonna say, "Don't
do anything I wouldn't do?"

1239
01:20:44,206 --> 01:20:46,243
You already have, Mum.

1240
01:20:46,308 --> 01:20:47,412
Right, everyone.

1241
01:20:47,475 --> 01:20:49,011
Has everyone got a ticket?

1242
01:20:49,077 --> 01:20:50,647
Yes.

1243
01:20:50,712 --> 01:20:51,383
A passport?

1244
01:20:51,446 --> 01:20:52,754
Yes.

1245
01:20:52,814 --> 01:20:55,021
A lying snake for a husband?

1246
01:20:56,384 --> 01:20:59,160
No? Only me there, then.

1247
01:20:59,221 --> 01:21:00,393
Let's go.

1248
01:21:05,193 --> 01:21:09,232
Hollywood, please. On
your shiniest plane.

1249
01:21:13,268 --> 01:21:15,680
Sorry. You've come
to the wrong desk.

1250
01:21:15,737 --> 01:21:17,478
- What?
- What?

1251
01:21:20,709 --> 01:21:22,586
I have asked four people.

1252
01:21:22,644 --> 01:21:26,592
Each of them said we could check
in for a flight at any desks.

1253
01:21:26,648 --> 01:21:29,686
We have queued for 20
minutes in the only queue.

1254
01:21:29,751 --> 01:21:30,957
And we were directed

1255
01:21:31,019 --> 01:21:32,965
to your desk by your
representative.

1256
01:21:33,021 --> 01:21:35,968
Where precisely
have we gone wrong?

1257
01:21:36,024 --> 01:21:38,004
There was no need
to queue, madam.

1258
01:21:38,059 --> 01:21:41,233
You're all flying upper-class.
You've been upgraded.

1259
01:21:41,296 --> 01:21:43,105
- First class!
- First class!

1260
01:21:43,164 --> 01:21:45,144
First class!

1261
01:21:46,201 --> 01:21:48,078
I can check you
in if you like.

1262
01:21:48,136 --> 01:21:49,740
- Thank you.
- Thank you, dear.

1263
01:21:49,804 --> 01:21:52,683
What a nice girl. I knew
she was a nice girl.

1264
01:21:56,578 --> 01:21:59,058
Celia, press the white
button on the right.

1265
01:21:59,114 --> 01:22:00,718
I am doing it.

1266
01:22:00,782 --> 01:22:02,989
- It's coming down.
- On the right?

1267
01:22:03,051 --> 01:22:04,052
Whoo-hoo!

1268
01:22:04,119 --> 01:22:05,427
- What?
- Bye-bye.

1269
01:22:05,487 --> 01:22:06,727
Cheerio.

1270
01:22:06,788 --> 01:22:08,927
I'm going right
under you, Celia.

1271
01:22:08,990 --> 01:22:10,731
Bye-bye.

1272
01:22:10,792 --> 01:22:13,329
Annie, I'm right underneath you.

1273
01:22:13,395 --> 01:22:16,103
I've got my foot stuck now.
Ow!

1274
01:23:32,240 --> 01:23:34,220
Where are we, Cora?

1275
01:23:34,275 --> 01:23:37,085
- Hey, this is Sunset Strip!
- No!

1276
01:23:45,387 --> 01:23:47,367
Cheerio, girls.
I'll see you later.

1277
01:23:47,422 --> 01:23:48,492
What are you doing?

1278
01:23:48,556 --> 01:23:51,503
- I'm going up.
- Be careful!

1279
01:23:51,559 --> 01:23:53,334
It's lovely. Come on.

1280
01:23:55,497 --> 01:23:58,000
Hey, how you doing?!

1281
01:23:58,066 --> 01:24:00,603
Hollywood! We're here!

1282
01:24:00,668 --> 01:24:02,841
Get down! Stop messing about.

1283
01:24:18,386 --> 01:24:20,297
Good afternoon, ladies.

1284
01:24:20,355 --> 01:24:22,392
Thank you, Ashley.
I'll handle this.

1285
01:24:22,457 --> 01:24:24,937
Good afternoon. Welcome
to Los Angeles.

1286
01:24:24,993 --> 01:24:28,668
- This is our first time here.
- Is that right?

1287
01:24:28,730 --> 01:24:30,266
Clarke. Name's Clarke.

1288
01:24:30,331 --> 01:24:32,242
Mrs. Clarke.

1289
01:24:32,300 --> 01:24:34,974
Or should I call
you Miss February?

1290
01:24:36,004 --> 01:24:38,780
I saw your picture in
the paper this morning.

1291
01:24:39,774 --> 01:24:41,447
In an American paper.

1292
01:24:42,510 --> 01:24:43,511
Thank you, ma'am.

1293
01:24:43,578 --> 01:24:44,579
It's all right.

1294
01:24:44,646 --> 01:24:47,593
I'll just talk you through
the facilities, okay?

1295
01:24:47,649 --> 01:24:48,320
Right.

1296
01:24:48,383 --> 01:24:49,487
All right, now.

1297
01:24:49,551 --> 01:24:52,896
There are two televisions.
One on each end.

1298
01:24:52,954 --> 01:24:55,696
Both of which have cable
TV, Internet access,

1299
01:24:55,757 --> 01:24:56,997
and Movies on Demand.

1300
01:24:57,058 --> 01:24:59,561
Now, there is also
a full bar here.

1301
01:24:59,627 --> 01:25:01,197
But if you need anything,

1302
01:25:01,262 --> 01:25:04,072
don't hesitate to
call downstairs.

1303
01:25:04,132 --> 01:25:06,134
Is everything okay, ma'am?

1304
01:25:06,201 --> 01:25:09,182
Oh, yeah. No, it's fine.
It's just I'm a bit tired.

1305
01:25:09,237 --> 01:25:11,615
I'd like to go to my
room now, really.

1306
01:25:11,673 --> 01:25:13,949
This is the hotel's
master suite, ma'am.

1307
01:25:14,008 --> 01:25:16,318
This is your room.

1308
01:25:20,348 --> 01:25:23,761
Come on, I'll show you
downstairs. It's beautiful.

1309
01:25:35,196 --> 01:25:37,142
Have you been in your bathroom?

1310
01:25:37,198 --> 01:25:39,371
Me too! I'm in the bath!

1311
01:25:39,434 --> 01:25:41,744
The bubbles. They're
Christian Dior.

1312
01:25:41,803 --> 01:25:44,147
The bath bubbles!
They're Christian Dior!

1313
01:25:44,205 --> 01:25:46,708
Do you think they'll
charge us for it?

1314
01:25:46,774 --> 01:25:48,981
Oh! I hope not!

1315
01:26:18,239 --> 01:26:19,809
Oh, yes.

1316
01:26:19,874 --> 01:26:21,319
Nice! Good!

1317
01:26:21,376 --> 01:26:23,287
And then into the limo.

1318
01:26:23,344 --> 01:26:25,153
Into the limo we all...

1319
01:26:25,213 --> 01:26:26,590
That was very good.

1320
01:26:26,648 --> 01:26:29,128
Let me have a shot with
you and the girls.

1321
01:26:29,184 --> 01:26:30,925
- No, no.
- Oh, come on!

1322
01:26:30,985 --> 01:26:32,555
- No, no.
- Come on, come on.

1323
01:26:32,620 --> 01:26:34,258
Give him a kiss.

1324
01:26:34,322 --> 01:26:37,166
British women are
taking me hostage.

1325
01:26:37,225 --> 01:26:39,933
British women have
taken him hostage.

1326
01:26:41,496 --> 01:26:42,496
Right!

1327
01:26:44,265 --> 01:26:46,006
What are we doing first, then?

1328
01:26:46,067 --> 01:26:48,240
- Chris!
- Chris!

1329
01:26:48,303 --> 01:26:51,216
Oh, Chris! We never
expected you!

1330
01:26:51,272 --> 01:26:54,219
Oh, you look gorgeous!

1331
01:26:56,077 --> 01:26:57,818
I'm very excited!

1332
01:26:57,879 --> 01:27:00,826
Oh, you look wonderful!

1333
01:27:02,250 --> 01:27:03,388
Look at you.

1334
01:27:03,451 --> 01:27:04,794
And look...

1335
01:27:20,902 --> 01:27:22,609
You're lovely!

1336
01:27:22,670 --> 01:27:25,276
That's fantastic!

1337
01:27:26,307 --> 01:27:28,048
Ha ha! Great, ladies!

1338
01:27:28,109 --> 01:27:30,521
Okay, we got another
section coming up.

1339
01:27:30,578 --> 01:27:32,080
- Thank you very much!
- Hey!

1340
01:27:32,146 --> 01:27:32,920
Bye-bye!

1341
01:27:32,981 --> 01:27:34,460
- Hold it, guys.
- Thank you!

1342
01:27:34,515 --> 01:27:36,392
Ladies, please!
Ladies, please!

1343
01:27:36,451 --> 01:27:39,762
We got a whole new section
to do here! Come on!

1344
01:27:39,821 --> 01:27:42,233
Come on, ladies.

1345
01:27:42,290 --> 01:27:43,826
Ooh, it's freezing!

1346
01:27:43,891 --> 01:27:45,837
Stay home. Relax.
Grow a beard.

1347
01:27:45,893 --> 01:27:47,964
Pretty girls. And just drink.

1348
01:27:48,029 --> 01:27:49,736
That's all I want to do.

1349
01:27:56,638 --> 01:27:58,049
Four pages, Annie.

1350
01:27:58,106 --> 01:28:01,644
The cover page and four pages
about how I don't give him sex.

1351
01:28:01,709 --> 01:28:04,451
Oh. I just had to get away.

1352
01:28:04,512 --> 01:28:08,517
I mean, the press will
be all over it by now.

1353
01:28:08,583 --> 01:28:11,826
So Rod's having to deal with
all that on his own, then?

1354
01:28:12,887 --> 01:28:15,595
Well, him and Jem.

1355
01:28:16,991 --> 01:28:20,768
Slightly out of character,
don't you think, for Rod?

1356
01:28:20,828 --> 01:28:23,035
Saying all that?

1357
01:28:23,097 --> 01:28:25,338
Did he get tricked into it?

1358
01:28:26,701 --> 01:28:29,238
Did you stay to find out?

1359
01:28:30,138 --> 01:28:32,675
Or by that time, was
there a taxi waiting?

1360
01:28:34,742 --> 01:28:36,221
Are you all right?

1361
01:28:36,277 --> 01:28:38,780
Oh, yeah. Fine.

1362
01:28:38,846 --> 01:28:40,325
Annie. Chris.

1363
01:28:40,381 --> 01:28:42,088
This is Frank,
Scott, and John.

1364
01:28:42,150 --> 01:28:44,323
They're in a band
called Anthrax.

1365
01:28:44,385 --> 01:28:45,385
Hello.

1366
01:28:45,386 --> 01:28:47,263
We've heard so much about you.

1367
01:28:47,322 --> 01:28:49,495
We're impressed with
what you're doing.

1368
01:28:49,557 --> 01:28:50,627
It is a great story.

1369
01:28:50,692 --> 01:28:53,571
Afraid we haven't heard
anything about you.

1370
01:28:53,628 --> 01:28:54,902
Yes, I have, actually.

1371
01:28:54,962 --> 01:28:58,307
So have you had a think
about that, then?

1372
01:28:58,433 --> 01:28:59,912
Yes.

1373
01:28:59,967 --> 01:29:03,380
Well, yes. It would be
in that ballpark, yes.

1374
01:29:04,939 --> 01:29:06,009
Well, you know what?

1375
01:29:06,074 --> 01:29:09,351
Let me talk with my associates.
I'll get back to you.

1376
01:29:09,410 --> 01:29:10,684
Okay. Bye.

1377
01:29:10,745 --> 01:29:12,782
- Thank you.
- Who was that?

1378
01:29:12,847 --> 01:29:15,987
Very exciting. Very exciting.

1379
01:29:16,050 --> 01:29:19,054
I'll tell you in makeup.
We're dead close to a deal.

1380
01:29:19,120 --> 01:29:20,030
Oh, that's him.

1381
01:29:20,088 --> 01:29:23,331
By the way, is it Leen-o
or Len-o? Do we know?

1382
01:29:23,391 --> 01:29:25,496
- Len-o.
- Are you sure?

1383
01:29:25,560 --> 01:29:26,560
No, it's Lee-no.

1384
01:29:26,561 --> 01:29:28,063
Len-o.

1385
01:29:28,129 --> 01:29:31,042
Not only will they sponsor
the calendar in America

1386
01:29:31,099 --> 01:29:33,101
to the tune of $30,000.

1387
01:29:33,167 --> 01:29:35,078
But guess who will
be in the studio

1388
01:29:35,136 --> 01:29:38,015
next to the one we're going
to shoot the advert in.

1389
01:29:38,072 --> 01:29:39,517
What?

1390
01:29:39,574 --> 01:29:41,781
Guess who will be
filming in the studio

1391
01:29:41,843 --> 01:29:44,050
next to the one we're
shooting the advert in.

1392
01:29:44,112 --> 01:29:45,420
Advert?

1393
01:29:45,480 --> 01:29:48,791
They sponsor us. We do their
advert for washing powder.

1394
01:29:48,850 --> 01:29:50,295
That's how it works.

1395
01:29:50,351 --> 01:29:52,797
George Clooney.

1396
01:29:52,854 --> 01:29:55,926
Can I have it straight,
like Jennifer Aniston?

1397
01:29:55,990 --> 01:29:57,526
You know. In "Friends."

1398
01:29:57,592 --> 01:30:00,232
Why would I dye just
part of my head?

1399
01:30:00,294 --> 01:30:02,399
It doesn't make any sense.

1400
01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:04,972
I do not dye my hair.

1401
01:30:05,032 --> 01:30:06,841
You may have heard
about my guests.

1402
01:30:06,901 --> 01:30:09,177
They went from
living a quiet life

1403
01:30:09,237 --> 01:30:10,875
in a small British farm town

1404
01:30:10,938 --> 01:30:12,940
to becoming nude calendar girls.

1405
01:30:13,007 --> 01:30:14,918
They're here to
tell us the story.

1406
01:30:14,976 --> 01:30:16,649
This is the calendar.

1407
01:30:16,711 --> 01:30:20,284
Please welcome from Knapely,
England, the calendar girls.

1408
01:30:20,348 --> 01:30:22,624
Come on out here.

1409
01:30:25,286 --> 01:30:27,288
Hello, girls. How are you?

1410
01:30:27,355 --> 01:30:30,063
How are you, girls?
Good to see you.

1411
01:30:30,124 --> 01:30:32,468
Nice to see you. Have a seat.

1412
01:30:34,829 --> 01:30:37,639
Oh, just sit anywhere.

1413
01:30:37,698 --> 01:30:38,438
I'm curious.

1414
01:30:38,499 --> 01:30:41,275
Have you girls been
strippers all your lives?

1415
01:30:41,335 --> 01:30:43,110
We're not strippers.

1416
01:30:43,171 --> 01:30:45,082
Now, did you get
drunk beforehand?

1417
01:30:45,139 --> 01:30:47,346
It's no big deal, you know?

1418
01:30:47,408 --> 01:30:49,445
We've all got the same bits.

1419
01:30:49,510 --> 01:30:51,581
The same bits? Yeah. Yeah.

1420
01:30:51,646 --> 01:30:54,456
They're just different sizes.

1421
01:30:54,515 --> 01:30:58,088
Can I have some of
them rice things?

1422
01:30:58,152 --> 01:31:00,462
- It's called sushi.
- I know.

1423
01:31:00,521 --> 01:31:03,502
It's all suggestive,
really, isn't it?

1424
01:31:03,558 --> 01:31:05,868
I could make a few
suggestions, yeah.

1425
01:31:05,927 --> 01:31:07,838
Well, ladies, it's fascinating.

1426
01:31:07,895 --> 01:31:09,602
Good luck with your work.

1427
01:31:09,664 --> 01:31:12,770
And if you wouldn't just try
to encourage more women

1428
01:31:12,834 --> 01:31:14,939
to get naked, I think...

1429
01:31:15,002 --> 01:31:18,176
Well, thank you very much.
The ladies from Knapely.

1430
01:31:21,542 --> 01:31:25,354
I think we do have to work
some kind of order out.

1431
01:31:25,413 --> 01:31:29,361
'Cause far too much of that, you
couldn't hear what was said.

1432
01:31:29,417 --> 01:31:30,794
Annie?

1433
01:31:31,819 --> 01:31:33,230
Annie?

1434
01:31:35,289 --> 01:31:36,859
What are you doing?

1435
01:31:37,892 --> 01:31:39,428
You missed it.

1436
01:31:41,462 --> 01:31:44,875
We were just on television. The
whole reason we came here.

1437
01:31:44,932 --> 01:31:47,674
I thought that was to get
away from the press.

1438
01:32:10,324 --> 01:32:11,826
Hello?

1439
01:32:13,828 --> 01:32:15,432
Hello?

1440
01:32:17,198 --> 01:32:19,371
Is there anyone there?

1441
01:32:23,871 --> 01:32:26,909
Ah! There they are!

1442
01:32:26,974 --> 01:32:29,420
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

1443
01:32:29,477 --> 01:32:32,651
Welcome, ladies.
How are we today?

1444
01:32:32,713 --> 01:32:33,713
Fine.

1445
01:32:33,714 --> 01:32:35,421
Fantastic. Fabulenda.

1446
01:32:35,483 --> 01:32:37,929
My name is Danny.
I'm the director.

1447
01:32:37,985 --> 01:32:41,262
And which one of you is Chris?

1448
01:32:41,322 --> 01:32:42,767
You are. You're Chris.

1449
01:32:42,823 --> 01:32:44,894
- Yeah.
- Ooh! Hi!

1450
01:32:44,959 --> 01:32:45,959
Hi.

1451
01:32:45,993 --> 01:32:48,530
Exciting, hmm? Yeah, yeah.

1452
01:32:48,596 --> 01:32:51,338
Okay, now. Just to let
you know what I've done.

1453
01:32:51,399 --> 01:32:55,575
Have cleared the
studio of excess men.

1454
01:32:55,636 --> 01:32:56,876
That's a shame.

1455
01:32:56,938 --> 01:33:00,078
No. I mean I didn't want you
to be walking around naked

1456
01:33:00,141 --> 01:33:02,018
in front of a bunch of guys.

1457
01:33:02,076 --> 01:33:04,556
Sorry?

1458
01:33:04,612 --> 01:33:07,024
We're doing the washing
powder, right?

1459
01:33:07,081 --> 01:33:09,391
Hanging the washing on the line?

1460
01:33:11,118 --> 01:33:14,065
And naked behind.

1461
01:33:14,121 --> 01:33:17,000
I mean, there's not a problem
with that, is there?

1462
01:33:17,058 --> 01:33:19,937
It is what you girls
do, isn't it?

1463
01:33:22,997 --> 01:33:25,773
- Yeah.
- Yes. Great.

1464
01:33:44,852 --> 01:33:46,832
No. Not now. I'm working.

1465
01:33:46,887 --> 01:33:48,366
GO, go, go'

1466
01:33:49,457 --> 01:33:50,993
Great! Beautiful!

1467
01:33:51,058 --> 01:33:53,163
I love this.

1468
01:33:55,029 --> 01:33:56,440
Ladies.

1469
01:33:56,497 --> 01:33:59,603
The time is now.

1470
01:34:02,069 --> 01:34:04,276
Roxanne. Carol. Hi, hi.

1471
01:34:04,338 --> 01:34:05,715
Nice to see you.

1472
01:34:05,773 --> 01:34:08,276
Nice to see you.
What do you think?

1473
01:34:08,342 --> 01:34:10,049
It's looking great, isn't it?

1474
01:34:10,111 --> 01:34:11,556
Thank you very much.

1475
01:34:11,612 --> 01:34:15,389
- Is the agency happy?
- We are.

1476
01:34:15,449 --> 01:34:16,951
Thank you.

1477
01:34:17,018 --> 01:34:18,895
Hey, sweetie. What's going on?

1478
01:34:18,953 --> 01:34:20,489
Annie.

1479
01:34:21,856 --> 01:34:23,858
We'll be just a moment.

1480
01:34:23,924 --> 01:34:25,062
Annie.

1481
01:34:28,629 --> 01:34:30,006
Annie.

1482
01:34:30,064 --> 01:34:32,601
Now, Annie, this is
for the calendar.

1483
01:34:32,667 --> 01:34:34,146
We just do this.

1484
01:34:34,201 --> 01:34:37,444
We get the calendar
out in America.

1485
01:34:38,906 --> 01:34:40,908
Look, are you gonna talk to me?

1486
01:34:40,975 --> 01:34:42,886
- I need a shower.
- What?

1487
01:34:42,943 --> 01:34:44,616
Was it down here?

1488
01:34:44,679 --> 01:34:46,022
I feel dirty.

1489
01:34:46,080 --> 01:34:48,583
Your washing powder
made me feel dirty.

1490
01:34:48,649 --> 01:34:49,992
My washing powder?

1491
01:34:50,051 --> 01:34:51,997
Down here.

1492
01:34:53,521 --> 01:34:55,057
Oh, I get it.

1493
01:34:55,122 --> 01:34:56,430
I see.

1494
01:34:56,490 --> 01:34:58,663
This is 'cause
I've organized it.

1495
01:34:58,726 --> 01:35:02,003
Because I've made a success
of getting us a sponsor.

1496
01:35:02,063 --> 01:35:04,065
And taken this out of being...

1497
01:35:04,131 --> 01:35:07,874
We're not just raising money
for a relatives room anymore.

1498
01:35:07,935 --> 01:35:09,881
We're taking on the
bloody disease.

1499
01:35:09,937 --> 01:35:11,245
The red light's on.

1500
01:35:11,305 --> 01:35:13,683
You can't stand it, can you?

1501
01:35:13,741 --> 01:35:17,188
You cannot stand that I've
made this calendar a success.

1502
01:35:17,244 --> 01:35:21,954
No, see, what's happened is this
calendar's made you a success.

1503
01:35:26,053 --> 01:35:27,896
What's that supposed to mean?

1504
01:35:27,955 --> 01:35:29,093
Where are we?

1505
01:35:29,156 --> 01:35:31,033
What is that supposed to mean?

1506
01:35:31,092 --> 01:35:34,164
Well, you don't ask me
what it means, Chris,

1507
01:35:34,228 --> 01:35:36,174
when you're in a
cardboard street

1508
01:35:36,230 --> 01:35:39,143
talking about meeting
George Clooney!

1509
01:35:39,200 --> 01:35:41,737
Well, what's with all
these letters, then?

1510
01:35:41,802 --> 01:35:44,749
All this bloody
Florence Nightingale?

1511
01:35:44,805 --> 01:35:48,810
Doesn't that smack just a
little bit of being a star?

1512
01:35:48,876 --> 01:35:51,482
Lots of people lose
their partners to this.

1513
01:35:51,545 --> 01:35:53,582
I bet they don't
all get fan mail.

1514
01:35:53,647 --> 01:35:56,127
Doesn't that make you
a bit of a success?

1515
01:35:56,183 --> 01:35:58,891
A very successful
bereaved woman?

1516
01:35:58,953 --> 01:36:01,126
A celebrity widow?

1517
01:36:01,188 --> 01:36:03,634
Saint Annie of Knapely?

1518
01:36:06,761 --> 01:36:09,139
I'm not a saint.

1519
01:36:09,196 --> 01:36:12,268
Because I'd rob every
penny from this calendar

1520
01:36:12,333 --> 01:36:15,610
if it would buy me just
one more hour with him.

1521
01:36:17,705 --> 01:36:19,946
You've still got yours.

1522
01:36:20,007 --> 01:36:22,214
And you're in Hollywood.

1523
01:37:41,455 --> 01:37:42,991
Oh, well.

1524
01:37:45,426 --> 01:37:48,532
Oh, Lord! It's Thursday!

1525
01:37:48,596 --> 01:37:49,666
Come on.

1526
01:37:49,730 --> 01:37:52,040
We've got to get in there.

1527
01:37:52,099 --> 01:37:53,669
Are you coming?

1528
01:38:11,585 --> 01:38:12,859
Hello, love.

1529
01:38:15,956 --> 01:38:18,368
* Builded here *

1530
01:38:18,425 --> 01:38:25,570
* Among these dark
satanic mills? *

1531
01:38:25,633 --> 01:38:28,876
* Bring me my bow *

1532
01:38:28,936 --> 01:38:32,110
* Of burning gold *

1533
01:38:51,058 --> 01:38:52,469
How's Jem?

1534
01:38:53,928 --> 01:38:55,737
He made a quiche on Tuesday.

1535
01:38:55,796 --> 01:38:57,776
We've been stoned ever since.

1536
01:39:02,202 --> 01:39:04,773
Don't worry, Chris.
He'll be all right.

1537
01:39:09,777 --> 01:39:12,383
Oh, Rod.

1538
01:39:12,446 --> 01:39:13,446
I'm sorry.

1539
01:39:13,480 --> 01:39:15,050
You don't have to apologize.

1540
01:39:15,115 --> 01:39:16,423
I do have to apologize.

1541
01:39:16,483 --> 01:39:20,693
Because everything you said in
the paper was true, wasn't it?

1542
01:39:20,754 --> 01:39:22,529
I didn't know he
was a journalist.

1543
01:39:22,589 --> 01:39:25,365
Isn't the point.

1544
01:39:25,426 --> 01:39:27,428
I mean, you still said it.

1545
01:39:27,494 --> 01:39:29,701
Why didn't you say it to me?

1546
01:39:29,763 --> 01:39:33,438
Why didn't you just shout
out, "What the bloody hell?"

1547
01:39:33,500 --> 01:39:35,980
Yeah, I know you'd
have liked me to.

1548
01:39:37,037 --> 01:39:39,540
It'd probably suit your
story if I'd been,

1549
01:39:39,606 --> 01:39:42,314
"No bloody wife of
mine." But I've not.

1550
01:39:42,376 --> 01:39:46,256
I actually think it's
brilliant what you've done.

1551
01:39:47,348 --> 01:39:49,521
That's why I've
stood behind you.

1552
01:39:49,583 --> 01:39:51,961
And I've told your
son to be proud.

1553
01:39:52,019 --> 01:39:55,023
Because I actually wanted
you to have all this.

1554
01:39:59,793 --> 01:40:01,568
Thank you.

1555
01:40:03,630 --> 01:40:05,075
Now, do me a bloody favor.

1556
01:40:05,132 --> 01:40:08,705
Get in that hall and sort out
what's gone wrong with Annie.

1557
01:40:10,637 --> 01:40:13,413
I don't know what to say to her.

1558
01:40:13,474 --> 01:40:17,251
She's your oldest friend, Chris.
You don't have to say anything.

1559
01:40:23,550 --> 01:40:24,995
Excuse me. Sorry.

1560
01:40:25,052 --> 01:40:27,555
Ladies. Ladies. Would you...

1561
01:40:27,621 --> 01:40:29,862
Ladies! Please!

1562
01:40:29,923 --> 01:40:31,163
Since we've stopped.

1563
01:40:31,225 --> 01:40:32,533
As it happens,

1564
01:40:32,593 --> 01:40:36,370
today, we've finally been
sent the first figures

1565
01:40:36,430 --> 01:40:38,706
for the sales of our calendar.

1566
01:40:38,766 --> 01:40:40,245
Come on, May, where is it?

1567
01:40:40,300 --> 01:40:42,109
Right. Thank you.

1568
01:40:42,169 --> 01:40:48,779
It says here in this letter
from Leukemia Research Fund

1569
01:40:48,842 --> 01:40:57,193
that we've so far
raised £286,000.

1570
01:40:58,752 --> 01:41:01,028
So a big round of
applause to all of us

1571
01:41:01,088 --> 01:41:04,092
for making it such a success.

1572
01:41:05,359 --> 01:41:08,101
We can get that sofa
in the leather, then.

1573
01:41:20,607 --> 01:41:26,888
* And did those feet
in ancient time *

1574
01:41:26,947 --> 01:41:28,858
* Walk upon England's... *

1575
01:41:28,916 --> 01:41:31,954
I've put our names down for
next month's speakers.

1576
01:41:33,487 --> 01:41:37,833
"Chris and Annie. What we
learned in Hollywood."

1577
01:41:37,891 --> 01:41:39,131
You're lying.

1578
01:41:39,193 --> 01:41:42,231
I know for a fact Colin
Petley's coming from Keighley

1579
01:41:42,296 --> 01:41:43,866
with his tea towels.

1580
01:41:43,931 --> 01:41:46,241
Be still my beating heart.

1581
01:42:52,166 --> 01:42:53,543
Anyone fancy some chips?

1582
01:42:53,600 --> 01:42:55,204
- Oh, yeah!
- Bloody good idea.

1583
01:42:55,269 --> 01:42:57,702
- God, yes.
- I'm starving!

1584
01:48:11,060 --> 01:48:13,060
Calendar Gilrls (2003)
23.976 fps NTSC.