2
00:00:28,585 --> 00:00:29,885
Hi, I'm Alex.
3
00:00:29,887 --> 00:00:33,187
I play football for the
greatest college in the world,
4
00:00:33,189 --> 00:00:35,324
Blue Mountain State University.
5
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:36,791
We excel at three things here,
6
00:00:36,793 --> 00:00:39,794
science, social awareness and...
7
00:00:39,796 --> 00:00:41,562
I'm kidding. It's a
straight party school,
8
00:00:41,564 --> 00:00:43,632
no one goes to class here.
9
00:00:43,634 --> 00:00:45,867
This is Sammy, he's my best friend.
10
00:00:45,869 --> 00:00:47,903
That's Donnie, he likes to drink.
11
00:00:47,905 --> 00:00:49,671
Harmon, he likes drugs.
12
00:00:49,673 --> 00:00:51,406
Mary Jo, she's a cheerleader.
13
00:00:51,408 --> 00:00:54,242
This is Larry.
14
00:00:54,244 --> 00:00:55,278
Ah, what can we say about Larry? I
don't know. We'll think about it.
15
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:57,178
That's our coach. He's legendary.
16
00:00:57,180 --> 00:00:58,547
Oh, and this is Thad.
17
00:00:58,549 --> 00:00:59,480
He was our team captain.
18
00:00:59,482 --> 00:01:01,182
Great football player,
19
00:01:01,184 --> 00:01:02,617
terrible person.
20
00:01:02,619 --> 00:01:04,887
He just graduated and
I couldn't be happier,
21
00:01:04,889 --> 00:01:06,754
because this is my senior year.
22
00:01:06,756 --> 00:01:08,057
Without question,
23
00:01:08,059 --> 00:01:12,128
this is going to be the
greatest year of my life.
24
00:03:24,027 --> 00:03:26,762
They call him the fifty
million dollar man!
25
00:03:26,764 --> 00:03:29,930
Last month was the NFL Draft where Thad
Castle of Blue Mountain State was selected.
26
00:03:29,932 --> 00:03:35,069
Number one overall, a pick that was
widely regarded to be enormously risky.
27
00:03:35,071 --> 00:03:38,039
Now is he the most naturally gifted
linebacker we've seen since Lawrence Taylor?
28
00:03:38,041 --> 00:03:39,741
Yes.
29
00:03:39,743 --> 00:03:42,777
Is he also the least naturally gifted
when it comes to making decisions,
30
00:03:42,779 --> 00:03:44,079
off the field?
31
00:03:44,081 --> 00:03:45,746
An even bigger yes.
32
00:03:45,748 --> 00:03:47,515
I'm Dhani Jones here
with Thad Castle
33
00:03:47,517 --> 00:03:48,550
to discuss his new fame and fortune.
34
00:03:48,552 --> 00:03:50,318
Thad Castle, thanks for being here.
35
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,353
You're welcome for having me.
36
00:03:51,355 --> 00:03:53,488
Thad, let's just get right into it,
37
00:03:53,490 --> 00:03:55,424
multi-million dollar contract.
38
00:03:55,426 --> 00:03:56,692
- Peanuts.
- Fifty million dollar signing bonus.
39
00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:57,793
Peanuts.
40
00:03:57,795 --> 00:03:59,394
Are you calling
fifty million dollars
41
00:03:59,396 --> 00:04:00,561
peanuts?
42
00:04:00,563 --> 00:04:02,496
It's a good start,
43
00:04:02,498 --> 00:04:03,931
but honestly, I expected
to be making billions.
44
00:04:03,933 --> 00:04:05,599
With a "B"?
45
00:04:05,601 --> 00:04:06,535
No.
46
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:07,970
With a dollar sign.
47
00:04:07,972 --> 00:04:09,537
Thad, what are you gonna
do with all this money?
48
00:04:09,539 --> 00:04:10,639
Probably just...
49
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,140
Make myself happy.
50
00:04:12,142 --> 00:04:14,976
Like the other day, I was
feeling so down. I almost cried.
51
00:04:14,978 --> 00:04:17,378
I went out and bought 97 guns.
52
00:04:17,380 --> 00:04:19,047
I love guns.
53
00:04:19,049 --> 00:04:22,551
I got a pistol, a machine gun,
a Call of Duty gun,
54
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,419
a Halo gun.
55
00:04:24,421 --> 00:04:26,922
And I got a tank.
56
00:04:26,924 --> 00:04:30,294
I got this one gun that just
shoots for 45 seconds, straight.
57
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,996
Oh, also, I bought a zoo.
58
00:04:35,998 --> 00:04:37,965
I got wolves and giraffes,
59
00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:39,600
I got monkeys.
60
00:04:39,602 --> 00:04:41,470
- Mountain lions.
- Woah!
61
00:04:41,472 --> 00:04:43,905
Saber tooth tigers. I mean,
I figure what the hell?
62
00:04:43,907 --> 00:04:45,107
If Matt Damon can buy a zoo,
63
00:04:45,109 --> 00:04:46,508
So can Thad Castle.
64
00:04:46,510 --> 00:04:48,410
How do you like them apples?
65
00:04:48,412 --> 00:04:50,179
I also got a dinosaur.
66
00:04:50,181 --> 00:04:53,881
It's the, ah, the big monster one
with horns growing out of its face.
67
00:04:53,883 --> 00:04:55,049
A rhinoceros?
68
00:04:55,051 --> 00:04:56,450
What?
69
00:04:56,452 --> 00:04:58,018
With the horn, a rhinoceros.
70
00:04:58,020 --> 00:04:58,886
The dinosaur.
71
00:04:58,888 --> 00:05:00,087
Yeah.
72
00:05:00,089 --> 00:05:01,890
I got one.
73
00:05:01,892 --> 00:05:04,126
Thad, talk to me about Alex Moran.
74
00:05:04,128 --> 00:05:05,994
There's a lot of talk questioning
his ability to lead the...
75
00:05:05,996 --> 00:05:07,828
- Mountain Goat team.
- Oh, ask me about my shoes.
76
00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:09,498
Hey, well, tell me about your shoes.
77
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,866
They're called "Thadinators."
78
00:05:10,868 --> 00:05:12,934
They're like Jordan's, but in mine,
79
00:05:12,936 --> 00:05:14,902
you can run higher and jump faster.
80
00:05:14,904 --> 00:05:18,573
Isn't it a run faster
and jump higher.
81
00:05:18,575 --> 00:05:20,441
We're still working on our slogan.
82
00:05:20,443 --> 00:05:22,176
So which company is
making these shoes?
83
00:05:22,178 --> 00:05:23,677
Uh, mine does...
84
00:05:23,679 --> 00:05:26,481
- Uh, Thad Company.
- Thad Company.
85
00:05:26,483 --> 00:05:28,517
It's the same company
that makes my hats,
86
00:05:28,519 --> 00:05:29,984
and waterproof shirts,
87
00:05:29,986 --> 00:05:31,953
and condoms.
88
00:05:31,955 --> 00:05:34,054
And also the same
company that makes this
89
00:05:34,056 --> 00:05:36,491
Hall of Fame jacket you haven't
even asked me about yet.
90
00:05:36,493 --> 00:05:38,160
Don't you think you should wait
until you get to the Hall of Fame
91
00:05:38,162 --> 00:05:39,760
before you wear a jacket like that?
92
00:05:39,762 --> 00:05:41,128
Oh, yeah. Don't you
think you should wait,
93
00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:43,097
till you get in the Hall of Fame?
94
00:05:43,099 --> 00:05:44,498
Waiting is for pussies.
95
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:45,900
Well, there you have it.
96
00:05:45,902 --> 00:05:48,203
Thad, meet the world...
97
00:05:48,205 --> 00:05:50,037
Hey sloots, say "hi" to the world.
98
00:05:50,039 --> 00:05:52,474
Hey, world.
99
00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:55,477
World, meet Thad Castle.
100
00:05:55,479 --> 00:05:57,212
And we're out.
101
00:05:57,214 --> 00:05:59,616
Somebody get my chopper!
102
00:06:03,986 --> 00:06:05,186
Blue 16.
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00:06:05,188 --> 00:06:07,390
Blue 16.
104
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:19,902
Hey, O'Brien!
105
00:06:19,904 --> 00:06:22,169
I'm pretty sure if that ball was
an STD you would've caught it!
106
00:06:22,171 --> 00:06:23,237
Sorry, coach.
107
00:06:23,239 --> 00:06:24,873
- Good throw.
- Thanks, coach.
108
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:26,808
Let us go home.
109
00:06:26,810 --> 00:06:28,876
- What? What'd you say?
- Hmm?
110
00:06:28,878 --> 00:06:30,479
- Another? You want me to throw another one?
- No.
111
00:06:30,481 --> 00:06:31,612
- I could throw another one.
- Second team,
112
00:06:31,614 --> 00:06:32,981
get second team in there.
113
00:06:32,983 --> 00:06:35,484
Second team! Let's go, let's go!
114
00:06:35,486 --> 00:06:38,855
Then all at once I was shot out
into the light like a cannon ball.
115
00:06:40,791 --> 00:06:43,224
Anyway, that's how I got my kicking
shoe out of that elephant's asshole.
116
00:06:45,895 --> 00:06:46,895
Somebody's got to talk to coach
about these four-hour practices.
117
00:06:46,897 --> 00:06:47,996
This is killing me.
118
00:06:47,998 --> 00:06:49,164
No. We need them.
119
00:06:49,166 --> 00:06:51,933
Season's right around the corner.
120
00:06:51,935 --> 00:06:53,667
I gotta be honest with you guys. It doesn't
matter how much extra practice we have,
121
00:06:53,669 --> 00:06:55,703
we aren't going to do well this year.
122
00:06:55,705 --> 00:06:56,604
We're terrible.
123
00:06:56,606 --> 00:06:58,707
Whoa, we're not gonna be that bad man.
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00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,140
We've got you and your arm,
125
00:07:00,142 --> 00:07:03,277
we've got my kicking leg
and we've got Donnie's...
126
00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,013
Hmm-mmm.
127
00:07:06,015 --> 00:07:07,849
- I wanna say muscles?
- That'll work.
128
00:07:07,851 --> 00:07:09,950
But three people can't carry this team.
129
00:07:09,952 --> 00:07:11,953
No. Right now is our time to party.
130
00:07:11,955 --> 00:07:13,087
Right now.
131
00:07:13,089 --> 00:07:14,556
It's just...
132
00:07:14,558 --> 00:07:16,157
I mean look at Sammy.
133
00:07:16,159 --> 00:07:17,792
He's been hammered since 10:00 am.
134
00:07:17,794 --> 00:07:19,059
He's doing it right.
135
00:07:19,061 --> 00:07:20,929
Hey, Sammy!
136
00:07:20,931 --> 00:07:23,532
Hi, buddy, how you doing?
137
00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:24,900
I got fucking hammered last night.
138
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:29,905
I don't know what he's saying right now.
139
00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:30,705
- Do you understand that?
- I don't know what he's saying.
140
00:07:30,707 --> 00:07:31,907
He's so hammered.
141
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,275
Sammy.
142
00:07:33,277 --> 00:07:35,643
You're doing it all wrong.
143
00:07:35,645 --> 00:07:37,177
I know you're drunk but you're
fucking it up for all of us.
144
00:07:37,179 --> 00:07:38,345
It's not even me.
145
00:07:38,347 --> 00:07:41,248
It's the fucking goddamn
goat. He's a fucking asshole.
146
00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:43,852
He's a goat. You're a human person.
147
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:44,986
There's no rivalry here.
148
00:07:44,988 --> 00:07:46,054
Ouch!
149
00:07:46,056 --> 00:07:47,321
What the fuck, he just bit me!
150
00:07:47,323 --> 00:07:50,022
He did not just bite you.
151
00:07:50,024 --> 00:07:50,659
Billy would never bite anyone...
152
00:07:50,661 --> 00:07:52,092
- Aw.
- Aw.
153
00:07:52,094 --> 00:07:54,061
He did. He fucking bit me!
154
00:07:54,063 --> 00:07:55,864
Yeah, fucking go pet him,
155
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,566
you little piece of shit!
156
00:07:58,568 --> 00:08:01,070
Okay, coach Summers, round them up.
157
00:08:03,873 --> 00:08:05,640
Round them up, like, here?
158
00:08:05,642 --> 00:08:08,545
Yes, right here! Round them up.
159
00:08:12,349 --> 00:08:14,616
So he said, "At least it
wasn't a reach around."
160
00:08:16,686 --> 00:08:18,986
Ha, ha, ha, ha, okay.
161
00:08:18,988 --> 00:08:21,022
Joke time's over. I need
you guys to round up.
162
00:08:22,191 --> 00:08:23,290
It's too weird.
163
00:08:23,292 --> 00:08:25,326
I'm sorry, it's Coach Summers now.
164
00:08:25,328 --> 00:08:27,195
And I need you guys to round up.
165
00:08:27,197 --> 00:08:29,030
Hey, can I try your hat on?
166
00:08:29,032 --> 00:08:29,864
- I've always wanted to wear...
- No, don't take my hat!
167
00:08:29,866 --> 00:08:31,900
Give me back...
168
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:32,867
- All right, I'll give you your hat back.
- I need my playbook.
169
00:08:32,869 --> 00:08:34,002
- Give me that.
- Hey!
170
00:08:34,004 --> 00:08:36,037
Quit screwing around! Round up!
171
00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:37,605
God!
172
00:08:37,607 --> 00:08:40,108
You don't bone tag your coach!
173
00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:41,276
All right now listen up.
174
00:08:41,278 --> 00:08:43,345
You all know the cheerleaders.
175
00:08:43,347 --> 00:08:44,912
They helped me prepare a little cheer.
176
00:08:44,914 --> 00:08:47,715
Especially for you guys.
177
00:08:47,717 --> 00:08:49,318
You ready?
178
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,720
♪ You suck, you suck ♪
179
00:08:52,722 --> 00:08:54,388
♪ You suck today you suck ♪
180
00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:57,926
♪ I wanna fucking kill you
all for wasting all my time ♪
181
00:08:57,928 --> 00:08:59,761
♪ It's the worst
day of my life ♪
182
00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:01,229
♪ since my father died ♪
183
00:09:01,231 --> 00:09:02,964
♪ You suck, you suck ♪
184
00:09:02,966 --> 00:09:03,998
♪ You suck and you suck ♪
185
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,001
Oh.
186
00:09:07,203 --> 00:09:09,005
It's kind of catchy.
187
00:09:12,742 --> 00:09:14,175
Great practice today, champ.
188
00:09:14,177 --> 00:09:15,777
Oh, my God,
189
00:09:15,779 --> 00:09:17,878
I do not want to talk about practice.
190
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,181
Yeah, neither do I. I actually need some
advice from you. And it's about a girl.
191
00:09:21,183 --> 00:09:23,084
I've seen the girls you get with, Mary Jo.
192
00:09:23,086 --> 00:09:24,319
I should be taking advice from you.
193
00:09:24,321 --> 00:09:26,388
No, this one's different.
194
00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:29,257
She's not some brainiac
PHD like I usually go for.
195
00:09:29,259 --> 00:09:31,258
- Okay.
- She's dumb as rocks like you usually go for.
196
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:33,094
But she's so fun. It's...
197
00:09:33,096 --> 00:09:34,295
Really nice.
198
00:09:34,297 --> 00:09:36,196
Okay, well, my advice,
199
00:09:36,198 --> 00:09:37,965
you should bring her by the Goat House.
200
00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:40,701
That's the advice from
Alex Moran, king of BMS?
201
00:09:40,703 --> 00:09:42,403
- Yes.
- Bring her to a house?
202
00:09:42,405 --> 00:09:44,038
Well, it's not just a house.
203
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,407
- It's just a house.
- It's not just a house.
204
00:09:45,409 --> 00:09:46,941
- It's just a house.
- It worked on you,
205
00:09:46,943 --> 00:09:48,409
freshman year.
206
00:09:48,411 --> 00:09:49,677
Fine.
207
00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:51,879
Maybe it worked on one smart girl.
208
00:09:51,881 --> 00:09:53,114
It's like an aphrodisiac.
209
00:09:53,116 --> 00:09:55,417
It's like oysters or money.
210
00:09:55,419 --> 00:09:57,185
It's magical.
211
00:09:57,187 --> 00:09:59,354
Fine. I'll bring her to the Goat House.
212
00:09:59,356 --> 00:10:02,990
I don't know, maybe I'll finger
her on the lawn or something.
213
00:10:02,992 --> 00:10:05,060
Well, Sammy did just
mow the lawn yesterday.
214
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:06,795
- So...
- Okay, perfect.
215
00:10:06,797 --> 00:10:08,897
- Skin it here, Alex.
- All right.
216
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:10,900
- Thanks, dude.
- Ugh!
217
00:10:11,967 --> 00:10:13,167
Bye.
218
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:20,075
What are you doing here?
219
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,308
It's a...
220
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:24,079
...drug I'm working on.
221
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,715
Figure if I am going to get into the
family drug manufacturing business
222
00:10:26,717 --> 00:10:28,148
after I graduate, I really gotta...
223
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:29,450
Buckle down.
224
00:10:29,452 --> 00:10:30,884
Yeah, yeah. Let me have a hit of that.
225
00:10:30,886 --> 00:10:32,320
Oh!
226
00:10:32,322 --> 00:10:33,388
This isn't for everybody.
227
00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:34,922
It's pretty intense.
228
00:10:34,924 --> 00:10:36,858
Alex, what the hell are we doing here man?
229
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:38,826
I have some very important drinking to do.
230
00:10:38,828 --> 00:10:40,829
The coach called a
meeting, he said no booze.
231
00:10:40,831 --> 00:10:42,330
And he's the boss.
232
00:10:42,332 --> 00:10:43,465
That's right, Moran.
233
00:10:43,467 --> 00:10:44,998
I am the boss.
234
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,935
This is Dean Oliviar.
235
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,002
Olivares.
236
00:10:48,004 --> 00:10:49,771
Say again.
237
00:10:49,773 --> 00:10:50,872
Olivares!
238
00:10:50,874 --> 00:10:52,340
Whatever.
239
00:10:52,342 --> 00:10:54,075
Anyway he's new here at BMS.
240
00:10:54,077 --> 00:10:55,476
So, I want you to sit there.
241
00:10:55,478 --> 00:10:57,345
And I want you to show him some respect.
242
00:10:57,347 --> 00:10:58,846
And stop making that face.
243
00:10:58,848 --> 00:11:01,749
What? This is just my face.
244
00:11:01,751 --> 00:11:04,284
Well, sorry.
245
00:11:04,286 --> 00:11:06,988
Anyway, Dean the floor is yours.
246
00:11:06,990 --> 00:11:08,989
What is a dean?
247
00:11:10,092 --> 00:11:11,392
Excellent question.
248
00:11:11,394 --> 00:11:14,896
A dean is like a coach.
249
00:11:14,898 --> 00:11:16,064
For the whole university.
250
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,364
You could say
251
00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:19,500
that I am the coach
252
00:11:19,502 --> 00:11:21,201
of your coach.
253
00:11:21,203 --> 00:11:22,269
Excuse me are you saying cooch?
254
00:11:22,271 --> 00:11:23,537
Coach, yeah.
255
00:11:23,539 --> 00:11:24,404
That's a cooch.
256
00:11:24,406 --> 00:11:25,507
Like a female.
257
00:11:25,509 --> 00:11:26,774
Coach, coach.
258
00:11:26,776 --> 00:11:28,475
"Coach." He's saying coach.
259
00:11:28,477 --> 00:11:30,277
Oh, coach.
260
00:11:30,279 --> 00:11:31,378
Yeah. Got it.
261
00:11:31,380 --> 00:11:32,513
Way off on that one.
262
00:11:32,515 --> 00:11:34,181
As your coach,
263
00:11:34,183 --> 00:11:36,551
I have a big problem with your behavior.
264
00:11:36,553 --> 00:11:38,787
Twenty-five percent arrest rate.
265
00:11:38,789 --> 00:11:40,421
- Yeah!
- Drinking,
266
00:11:40,423 --> 00:11:43,892
drugs, indecent exposure.
267
00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:45,426
What I find
268
00:11:45,428 --> 00:11:46,927
is a house full of drunkards,
269
00:11:46,929 --> 00:11:48,162
prostitutes, and imbeciles...
270
00:11:48,164 --> 00:11:50,330
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
271
00:11:50,332 --> 00:11:52,300
We are not prostitutes.
272
00:11:52,302 --> 00:11:53,368
Oh.
273
00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:54,469
Mr. Moran.
274
00:11:54,471 --> 00:11:56,271
Hi.
275
00:11:56,273 --> 00:11:58,105
I've heard a lot about you.
276
00:11:58,107 --> 00:11:59,873
- Hey, congrats, man.
- Thanks, guys.
277
00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:01,042
The king of Blue Mountain State.
278
00:12:01,044 --> 00:12:02,310
The king of Blue Mountain State.
279
00:12:02,312 --> 00:12:03,978
I wouldn't say that.
280
00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:06,446
Well I got news for you, Mr. Moran.
281
00:12:06,448 --> 00:12:08,248
Your kingdom,
282
00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:09,383
has a new ruler.
283
00:12:09,385 --> 00:12:11,252
Me!
284
00:12:11,254 --> 00:12:12,452
I thought you were the cooch?
285
00:12:12,454 --> 00:12:15,056
I heard that the first time.
286
00:12:15,058 --> 00:12:16,157
You better makeup your mind.
287
00:12:16,159 --> 00:12:18,560
I'm the coach.
288
00:12:18,562 --> 00:12:22,330
But I'm going to be king just as soon
as I storm your castle, Mr. Moran.
289
00:12:22,332 --> 00:12:23,864
You're gonna bang Alex?
290
00:12:23,866 --> 00:12:25,300
What?
291
00:12:25,302 --> 00:12:26,868
I'm not comfortable with that.
292
00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:28,503
Why would you want to do that?
293
00:12:28,505 --> 00:12:30,338
He's not banging anybody!
294
00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:31,940
Now, shut up!
295
00:12:31,942 --> 00:12:33,441
Yeah, uh...
296
00:12:33,443 --> 00:12:35,409
What I mean to say,
297
00:12:35,411 --> 00:12:37,612
Saturday at midnight,
298
00:12:37,614 --> 00:12:39,214
Blue Mountain State,
299
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:40,915
will seize this...
300
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,216
Goat House,
301
00:12:42,218 --> 00:12:43,618
and auction it to the highest bidder.
302
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:45,519
What?
303
00:12:45,521 --> 00:12:48,288
That you understand, don't you?
304
00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:50,291
You can't take the Goat House.
305
00:12:50,293 --> 00:12:51,325
Oh, I can.
306
00:12:51,327 --> 00:12:53,961
I can.
307
00:12:53,963 --> 00:12:57,865
This house of filth and lawlessness
is no longer yours to rule.
308
00:12:57,867 --> 00:13:00,567
Now if you'll excuse me.
309
00:13:00,569 --> 00:13:03,171
I have other students that I need to
310
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:05,440
coach.
311
00:13:08,978 --> 00:13:10,378
Shit. Okay, all right.
312
00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,579
Okay, okay.
313
00:13:11,581 --> 00:13:12,946
Coach, coach,
314
00:13:12,948 --> 00:13:14,349
you can't let this happen.
315
00:13:14,351 --> 00:13:16,884
Next year is my senior year.
316
00:13:16,886 --> 00:13:19,253
If the team sucks, this
house is all I have.
317
00:13:19,255 --> 00:13:22,958
Well, then you better make
sure that the team doesn't suck.
318
00:13:24,327 --> 00:13:25,926
Just gonna have a beer,
319
00:13:25,928 --> 00:13:28,495
we're gonna have a beer and just relax.
320
00:13:28,497 --> 00:13:31,099
Too much shit has happened
here, we can't let it go.
321
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:34,134
I waited three years for
this house to be mine.
322
00:13:34,136 --> 00:13:36,271
Now I'm not letting some smug prick
323
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:38,538
walk up in here and take it from me.
324
00:13:38,540 --> 00:13:40,675
No. What we need is a plan.
325
00:13:40,677 --> 00:13:42,377
Prostitutes. We'll become prostitutes,
326
00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:43,912
sell our bodies, make some money.
327
00:13:43,914 --> 00:13:45,312
We're definitely not doing a hunger strike.
328
00:13:45,314 --> 00:13:47,215
Oh, I'm having a brainstorm.
329
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:49,117
We kill the dean!
330
00:13:50,953 --> 00:13:53,053
No.
331
00:13:53,055 --> 00:13:55,556
We kill the Dean's family and
make it look like he did it.
332
00:13:57,226 --> 00:13:59,027
- That's a great one.
- No, guys.
333
00:13:59,029 --> 00:14:01,528
We're not killing anybody, okay?
334
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,096
What we need is some quick cash.
335
00:14:03,098 --> 00:14:04,465
Now let's think about this.
336
00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:06,633
Who would be dumb enough
337
00:14:06,635 --> 00:14:10,405
to spend hundreds of thousands
of dollars to buy this house?
338
00:14:13,643 --> 00:14:16,210
What the hell is this shit?
339
00:14:16,212 --> 00:14:18,312
Did I not tell this prick chef,
340
00:14:18,314 --> 00:14:20,080
medium-rare well?
341
00:14:20,082 --> 00:14:21,548
I heard you say it.
You definitely told him.
342
00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:23,450
And you call this bearnaise sauce?
343
00:14:23,452 --> 00:14:25,320
I'm appalled right now!
344
00:14:30,193 --> 00:14:32,060
Somebody tell that Chef
345
00:14:32,062 --> 00:14:34,262
I want a ham, with veal in
it, and crab legs sticking out.
346
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:36,431
I'm paying $12,000 for it,
347
00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:41,002
so it better taste like $12,000!
348
00:14:41,004 --> 00:14:42,269
Hey, Thad.
349
00:14:42,271 --> 00:14:43,271
I was just won...
350
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:45,406
Yep, there it is. Okay, hi.
351
00:14:45,408 --> 00:14:48,142
I'm Alex. What's your name? Seriously?
352
00:14:48,144 --> 00:14:49,009
He's clean.
353
00:14:49,011 --> 00:14:50,644
Hair.
354
00:14:50,646 --> 00:14:51,713
Clean.
355
00:14:51,715 --> 00:14:53,114
- Balls.
- What?
356
00:14:53,116 --> 00:14:55,516
Ah, what the...
357
00:14:55,518 --> 00:14:57,218
- Clean.
- Yeah.
358
00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,220
- I, uh, I just...
- Hey! Whoa, whoa!
359
00:14:59,222 --> 00:15:01,422
Whoa!
360
00:15:01,424 --> 00:15:02,757
Do you want me to put the...
361
00:15:02,759 --> 00:15:04,658
Put it on.
362
00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:06,127
Who is this guy?
363
00:15:06,129 --> 00:15:07,228
This is Dick Dawg.
364
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:08,428
He's my security guy.
365
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:10,163
And my cousin.
366
00:15:10,165 --> 00:15:11,999
And, um, like my butler sometimes.
367
00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:13,633
That's Dawg with a "W-G" motherfucker.
368
00:15:13,635 --> 00:15:15,103
- Ah.
- Suck my dick,
369
00:15:15,105 --> 00:15:16,537
you bowtie-wearing piece of shit!
370
00:15:16,539 --> 00:15:17,672
Oh!
371
00:15:17,674 --> 00:15:20,340
Oh!
372
00:15:20,342 --> 00:15:22,744
Oh, man. Nice work, Dick Dawg,
373
00:15:22,746 --> 00:15:24,378
- write yourself a check.
- Fuck yeah!
374
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:26,480
You're wearing one too. You put this on me.
375
00:15:26,482 --> 00:15:29,182
Yeah and he'll do it
again, if I tell him to!
376
00:15:29,184 --> 00:15:31,319
I could dress you in bow ties for
the next thirty years if I want.
377
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,519
Don't think I got the money?
378
00:15:32,521 --> 00:15:34,122
Read a newspaper.
379
00:15:34,124 --> 00:15:35,723
Don't got a subscription to a newspaper?
380
00:15:35,725 --> 00:15:36,824
I could buy you that too.
381
00:15:36,826 --> 00:15:39,793
Reading is fundamentional,
you giant bag of dicks.
382
00:15:42,564 --> 00:15:44,599
Amazing! Write yourself another check.
383
00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:45,667
All right.
384
00:15:45,669 --> 00:15:48,802
I'm starting to see the
family resemblance here.
385
00:15:48,804 --> 00:15:51,305
Sit down before I friggin lose my mind!
386
00:15:51,307 --> 00:15:55,209
Um, I guess, I'll just get to it then.
387
00:15:55,211 --> 00:15:56,244
Um...
388
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:58,579
Um...
389
00:15:58,581 --> 00:16:00,715
Fucking say it.
390
00:16:00,717 --> 00:16:03,718
The Dean is selling the Goat House.
391
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:07,187
And I was just thinking that
now that you're super rich,
392
00:16:07,189 --> 00:16:09,523
and famous that you could
maybe you could buy the house
393
00:16:09,525 --> 00:16:11,191
and give it to me.
394
00:16:11,193 --> 00:16:12,225
Hey, you wanna see something funny, Moran?
395
00:16:12,227 --> 00:16:14,228
Watch this.
396
00:16:14,230 --> 00:16:17,264
Whap, whap, whap, whap, whap,
whap, whap, whap, whap, whap,
397
00:16:17,266 --> 00:16:19,466
whap, whap, whap, whap, whap, whap...
398
00:16:19,468 --> 00:16:21,369
It's so fun, you have to try it Moran.
399
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:23,237
- Do you know what, I'm good thanks.
- Whap, whap, whap.
400
00:16:23,239 --> 00:16:25,773
Fine. Suit yourself, God.
401
00:16:25,775 --> 00:16:27,374
So, the Goat House then? Hmm?
402
00:16:27,376 --> 00:16:28,843
Why would I buy the Goat House?
403
00:16:28,845 --> 00:16:30,610
Because it used to be yours.
404
00:16:30,612 --> 00:16:32,680
We had a lot of good times there, Thad!
405
00:16:32,682 --> 00:16:34,315
We can't let the Dean take it away.
406
00:16:34,317 --> 00:16:36,249
The past is the past, Moran.
407
00:16:36,251 --> 00:16:38,219
- I don't have time to think about BMS.
- Okay.
408
00:16:38,221 --> 00:16:39,686
I've got better things to do now.
409
00:16:39,688 --> 00:16:41,122
Bigger things.
410
00:16:41,124 --> 00:16:42,255
Huge things.
411
00:16:42,257 --> 00:16:43,324
Enormous things.
412
00:16:43,326 --> 00:16:44,524
Gigantic things.
413
00:16:44,526 --> 00:16:46,494
Infinity things.
414
00:16:46,496 --> 00:16:47,561
Uh... Why did I not think of that?
415
00:16:47,563 --> 00:16:49,162
Write me a check to myself.
416
00:16:49,164 --> 00:16:51,431
Please, Thad,
417
00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:53,635
you're my only hope.
418
00:16:55,871 --> 00:16:57,604
Okay,
419
00:16:57,606 --> 00:16:59,574
you really talked me into it, Moran.
420
00:16:59,576 --> 00:17:00,841
So, here's what I'm willing to do.
421
00:17:02,245 --> 00:17:03,710
Aw!
422
00:17:03,712 --> 00:17:06,446
I'm on a fucking roll right now.
423
00:17:07,851 --> 00:17:09,117
What the...
424
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:10,184
You throw me this party?
425
00:17:10,186 --> 00:17:11,252
The fuck!
426
00:17:11,254 --> 00:17:14,187
And I'll help you out.
427
00:17:14,189 --> 00:17:16,590
Thadland?
428
00:17:16,592 --> 00:17:19,627
I came up with the idea when I was 10.
429
00:17:19,629 --> 00:17:21,795
I wished for a party that was...
430
00:17:21,797 --> 00:17:25,800
Bigger than any party the
world had ever seen before.
431
00:17:25,802 --> 00:17:30,504
A party full of wonder,
and dreams, and titties!
432
00:17:30,506 --> 00:17:34,708
A place where I could celebrate
going pro and being a billionaire.
433
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:37,177
And I called that place...
434
00:17:37,179 --> 00:17:40,248
"Thadland."
435
00:17:42,518 --> 00:17:43,717
I only have $50,000,000 so far,
436
00:17:43,719 --> 00:17:44,886
but it'll have to do.
437
00:17:44,888 --> 00:17:46,521
Okay.
438
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:49,223
Why can't you just throw
this party yourself?
439
00:17:49,225 --> 00:17:50,358
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
440
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,425
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah
441
00:17:51,427 --> 00:17:52,526
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
442
00:17:52,528 --> 00:17:53,660
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
443
00:17:53,662 --> 00:17:55,562
Because that would be tacky.
444
00:17:55,564 --> 00:17:56,664
Here's your veal.
445
00:17:56,666 --> 00:17:59,332
- Stuffed ham with crab legs.
- Whoa!
446
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:01,502
Look, I, I...
447
00:18:01,504 --> 00:18:03,603
I just don't think that
this is gonna be possible.
448
00:18:03,605 --> 00:18:04,906
Well, that's my offer.
449
00:18:04,908 --> 00:18:06,374
Do it and I'll help you out.
450
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,841
Don't do it,
451
00:18:07,843 --> 00:18:09,276
and I won't.
452
00:18:09,278 --> 00:18:11,478
Now get out!
453
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,648
I never want to see your handsome
face in here again. Get out!
454
00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:17,451
And where the hell are my meatballs?
455
00:18:17,453 --> 00:18:19,689
This is insane!
456
00:18:21,757 --> 00:18:25,292
I mean, it's doable but
it's all pretty screwed up.
457
00:18:25,294 --> 00:18:27,695
- Is, is that a unicorn shitting a rainbow?
- Yeah.
458
00:18:27,697 --> 00:18:29,397
That's not a horn coming out of its head,
459
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:30,564
that's a dildo.
460
00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:33,900
So it's a dildocorn.
461
00:18:33,902 --> 00:18:35,302
But yes, it is shitting a rainbow.
462
00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:36,803
Okay, guys look,
463
00:18:36,805 --> 00:18:38,738
I have been thinking a lot about this.
464
00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:40,808
Throwing this party is
not going to be that bad.
465
00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:43,578
Thad and I were really started hitting
it off before he left school last year.
466
00:18:43,580 --> 00:18:45,312
I'm in. I'm doing this.
467
00:18:45,314 --> 00:18:46,480
Nice.
468
00:18:46,482 --> 00:18:48,749
Screw it. I'm in too.
469
00:18:48,751 --> 00:18:51,651
Gentlemen, before we
get ahead of ourselves,
470
00:18:51,653 --> 00:18:55,990
I'd like to remind you, all the man
we'd be inviting back into this house.
471
00:18:55,992 --> 00:19:00,561
You are the very same man who viscously
burned down a field of my weed,
472
00:19:00,563 --> 00:19:02,830
just so he could get God high.
473
00:19:02,832 --> 00:19:05,499
I understand where you're
coming from, Harmon.
474
00:19:05,501 --> 00:19:06,900
Trust me,
475
00:19:06,902 --> 00:19:11,371
there is no other way
to save the Goat House.
476
00:19:11,373 --> 00:19:12,540
All right,
477
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,341
- you are the king.
- Huh?
478
00:19:14,343 --> 00:19:15,609
- So you're in?
- I'm in!
479
00:19:15,611 --> 00:19:17,344
- Yes!
- So, we're doing this.
480
00:19:17,346 --> 00:19:18,213
- All right, we are.
- All right.
481
00:19:18,215 --> 00:19:20,947
Bring it in. Thadland on three, baby.
482
00:19:20,949 --> 00:19:22,015
Let's go, baby.
483
00:19:22,017 --> 00:19:23,451
One, two, three.
484
00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,454
Thadland!
485
00:19:31,995 --> 00:19:35,029
You guys have any clue what the hell
is going on, on this last page here?
486
00:19:35,031 --> 00:19:36,664
You think he wants to fly?
487
00:19:36,666 --> 00:19:38,599
- No. It's a metaphor.
- Yeah.
488
00:19:38,601 --> 00:19:39,899
He wants to get so high
489
00:19:39,901 --> 00:19:41,369
it feels like he's flying.
490
00:19:41,371 --> 00:19:43,603
No. He's a plane.
491
00:19:43,605 --> 00:19:46,374
I had a dream the other
night that I was a plane,
492
00:19:46,376 --> 00:19:48,576
and I crashed and burned.
493
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:51,311
But then I woke up and I realized
494
00:19:51,313 --> 00:19:56,449
that my bed was just on fire because
I fell asleep with a lit cigarette.
495
00:19:56,451 --> 00:19:57,917
Um, I'm sorry.
496
00:19:57,919 --> 00:19:59,986
Where did you come from?
497
00:19:59,988 --> 00:20:01,621
Heaven.
498
00:20:01,623 --> 00:20:03,823
Oh, this is your friend!
499
00:20:03,825 --> 00:20:05,859
Right, well, welcome to the Goat House!
500
00:20:05,861 --> 00:20:07,661
It's magical.
501
00:20:07,663 --> 00:20:09,863
Yeah. I can feel it.
502
00:20:09,865 --> 00:20:11,799
Like, the magic.
503
00:20:11,801 --> 00:20:13,333
Right.
504
00:20:13,335 --> 00:20:15,602
And I like the magic here too.
505
00:20:15,604 --> 00:20:16,771
Yeah, they just cut the grass.
506
00:20:16,773 --> 00:20:18,039
Oh.
507
00:20:18,041 --> 00:20:20,308
Uh, so... We're...
508
00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:22,042
We're throwing a party this weekend.
509
00:20:22,044 --> 00:20:23,444
You should come.
510
00:20:23,446 --> 00:20:24,645
I'll be there.
511
00:20:24,647 --> 00:20:27,348
Oh, good.
512
00:20:27,350 --> 00:20:29,349
Yeah, we'll be there.
513
00:20:29,351 --> 00:20:30,784
Skin it.
514
00:20:31,853 --> 00:20:33,053
Okay.
515
00:20:33,055 --> 00:20:36,958
All right. Oh! Ha!
516
00:20:48,103 --> 00:20:49,969
Yeah, it's me.
517
00:20:49,971 --> 00:20:51,738
Sammy, how do I look?
518
00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:53,707
- Wow, I love that suit.
- Yeah?
519
00:20:53,709 --> 00:20:55,475
It looks just like the one Thad drew.
520
00:20:55,477 --> 00:20:57,778
Hey, if he drew it, we're
gonna make it happen.
521
00:20:57,780 --> 00:20:59,946
I don't want to give him any
reason not to buy us this house.
522
00:20:59,948 --> 00:21:01,648
All right?
523
00:21:01,650 --> 00:21:03,751
Guys, I'm beginning to
think Thad's not coming.
524
00:21:03,753 --> 00:21:05,653
Oh, he's coming.
525
00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:07,723
I know it.
526
00:21:08,791 --> 00:21:09,956
What the hell is that sound?
527
00:21:09,958 --> 00:21:12,361
Is that a...
528
00:21:16,498 --> 00:21:18,099
Is that a fucking hovercraft?
529
00:21:18,101 --> 00:21:20,969
He's here! He's here!
530
00:21:34,816 --> 00:21:38,785
Hey, Thad.
531
00:21:38,787 --> 00:21:41,722
You're hand's on a $30,000
coat right now, Moran.
532
00:21:41,724 --> 00:21:43,993
Hey, cool suit, ass wipe.
533
00:21:45,128 --> 00:21:46,093
Hilarious.
534
00:21:46,095 --> 00:21:48,963
You're the one who told
me wear... Never mind.
535
00:21:48,965 --> 00:21:50,430
You remember the guys right?
536
00:21:50,432 --> 00:21:53,032
- Donnie.
- Hey, buddy.
537
00:21:53,034 --> 00:21:54,834
Oh, Thad.
538
00:21:54,836 --> 00:21:57,670
It's so great to see you,
thanks for coming by here!
539
00:21:57,672 --> 00:21:59,639
Who are you?
540
00:21:59,641 --> 00:22:01,074
Sammy!
541
00:22:01,076 --> 00:22:03,977
You know you used to call
me Mascot, or houseboy!
542
00:22:03,979 --> 00:22:06,647
I wore the goat suit! I'd go,
"Go team, go." I was out there.
543
00:22:06,649 --> 00:22:08,448
There was someone in that thing?
544
00:22:08,450 --> 00:22:10,917
Hey, back off.
545
00:22:10,919 --> 00:22:12,119
Oh, no, it's okay I'm
just talking to my friend.
546
00:22:12,121 --> 00:22:13,587
Oh, your friend?
547
00:22:13,589 --> 00:22:14,855
I don't think he knows you man.
548
00:22:14,857 --> 00:22:16,557
Well...
549
00:22:16,559 --> 00:22:17,625
I don't know you.
550
00:22:17,627 --> 00:22:19,459
- I've never met you.
- I have.
551
00:22:19,461 --> 00:22:20,160
I just don't remember you.
552
00:22:20,162 --> 00:22:21,962
I don't think so.
553
00:22:21,964 --> 00:22:22,795
I have met you, your
face isn't ringing a bell.
554
00:22:22,797 --> 00:22:24,197
I've never met you in my life bro.
555
00:22:24,199 --> 00:22:26,000
Okay. Thad.
556
00:22:26,002 --> 00:22:27,967
Are you ready?
557
00:22:27,969 --> 00:22:29,536
I drew this thing when I was 10.
558
00:22:29,538 --> 00:22:33,474
I've been waiting for...
559
00:22:33,476 --> 00:22:35,542
Thirteen. Thirteen years.
560
00:22:35,544 --> 00:22:36,976
I was gonna say that.
561
00:22:36,978 --> 00:22:40,513
All right then, let's
just step right up here.
562
00:22:40,515 --> 00:22:42,882
Welcome
563
00:22:42,884 --> 00:22:45,586
to Thadland.
564
00:22:53,228 --> 00:22:55,430
I...
565
00:23:19,688 --> 00:23:21,522
Fifty-four strains of marijuana?
566
00:23:21,524 --> 00:23:25,026
Yep. And all the most
expensive in the world.
567
00:23:36,171 --> 00:23:37,871
Cocaine!
568
00:23:37,873 --> 00:23:39,673
United Nations of cocaine.
569
00:23:39,675 --> 00:23:41,809
Purest strains from around the world.
570
00:23:41,811 --> 00:23:43,644
Tested each one personally.
571
00:23:43,646 --> 00:23:45,279
Just one rule about the cocaine room.
572
00:23:45,281 --> 00:23:49,015
Guys, don't die.
573
00:23:49,017 --> 00:23:51,118
Or do, who gives a shit. More coke for me!
574
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:52,719
Boobie bomb!
575
00:23:52,721 --> 00:23:54,956
Oh!
576
00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:04,467
Yeah, baby!
577
00:24:15,777 --> 00:24:17,176
Booze room.
578
00:24:17,178 --> 00:24:18,745
Every kind of booze ever?
579
00:24:18,747 --> 00:24:20,813
Yep, just pull a tap.
580
00:24:20,815 --> 00:24:22,750
Woo!
581
00:24:22,752 --> 00:24:25,886
My ass is getting pounded tonight!
582
00:24:25,888 --> 00:24:27,721
Hammered. Your ass is getting hammered.
583
00:24:27,723 --> 00:24:29,924
Tomato, potato, bro beans.
584
00:24:29,926 --> 00:24:31,559
Is the champagne from France?
585
00:24:31,561 --> 00:24:33,293
Nope. California.
586
00:24:33,295 --> 00:24:36,597
Good. Everything good comes from America.
587
00:24:36,599 --> 00:24:39,132
France can suck my balls!
588
00:24:47,043 --> 00:24:48,676
And here we have...
589
00:24:48,678 --> 00:24:50,779
Mojito hot tub!
590
00:24:58,053 --> 00:24:59,854
Well?
591
00:25:00,922 --> 00:25:03,057
It's perfect, Moran!
592
00:25:03,059 --> 00:25:04,291
Horny? Grab a sloot!
593
00:25:04,293 --> 00:25:06,292
Thirsty? Grab a mojito!
594
00:25:06,294 --> 00:25:09,031
I'm, I'm good thanks.
595
00:25:14,769 --> 00:25:16,203
You haven't even seen the best part yet!
596
00:25:16,205 --> 00:25:17,870
I wanna see.
597
00:25:17,872 --> 00:25:18,906
- Do you wanna see the best part?
- Yeah.
598
00:25:18,908 --> 00:25:20,976
Let's go see the best part.
599
00:25:41,263 --> 00:25:43,796
I can't believe I drew this.
600
00:25:43,798 --> 00:25:46,099
I'm a frigging genius!
601
00:25:46,101 --> 00:25:50,103
And your most genius invention
is coming, my humble friend.
602
00:25:51,873 --> 00:25:52,973
In Thadland,
603
00:25:52,975 --> 00:25:56,312
it always snows cocaine.
604
00:26:16,064 --> 00:26:18,965
So? Thad?
605
00:26:18,967 --> 00:26:21,201
What do you have to say?
606
00:26:21,203 --> 00:26:23,606
What do I have to say?
607
00:26:27,043 --> 00:26:28,809
Fuck you Walt Disney,
608
00:26:28,811 --> 00:26:31,244
you unimaginative piece of shit!
609
00:26:31,246 --> 00:26:34,982
This is Thadland!
610
00:28:44,412 --> 00:28:46,079
Hey, Thad, going to a butcher,
611
00:28:46,081 --> 00:28:47,380
ask your friends for opinions.
612
00:28:47,382 --> 00:28:50,017
Like which of those sloots I'd bang?
613
00:29:24,553 --> 00:29:26,522
That's it guys, get him
the hell out of here.
614
00:29:35,163 --> 00:29:36,597
Goat fans have spoken.
615
00:29:36,599 --> 00:29:40,202
They want Marty Daniels
out. And in other news...
616
00:29:43,104 --> 00:29:44,571
Forget them.
617
00:29:44,573 --> 00:29:46,372
You guys are gonna be fine this year.
618
00:29:46,374 --> 00:29:48,942
Plus, you're not that old.
619
00:29:48,944 --> 00:29:52,247
I lost my virginity the day Kennedy died.
620
00:29:55,450 --> 00:29:56,550
One more, please.
621
00:29:56,552 --> 00:29:58,886
Coming right up.
622
00:29:58,888 --> 00:30:00,620
I think you're amazing.
623
00:30:00,622 --> 00:30:03,023
I mean, with everything
that you've been through,
624
00:30:03,025 --> 00:30:04,558
the lawsuits,
625
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,961
and losing Thad Castle and
Craig Shilo and Radon Randell
626
00:30:07,963 --> 00:30:09,529
and still winning.
627
00:30:09,531 --> 00:30:10,964
We should be building your statue,
628
00:30:10,966 --> 00:30:13,534
not bitching about your age.
629
00:30:15,371 --> 00:30:18,407
Would you like to take
a ride on my motorcycle?
630
00:30:27,082 --> 00:30:28,581
Ahhh. Mmm.
631
00:30:28,583 --> 00:30:30,384
Mmm.
632
00:30:51,306 --> 00:30:53,608
Oh, fuck me!
633
00:31:08,023 --> 00:31:09,222
Alex!
634
00:31:09,224 --> 00:31:11,291
Hey! What's up?
635
00:31:11,293 --> 00:31:13,961
- Alex, so good to see you.
- You too.
636
00:31:13,963 --> 00:31:16,163
This party is bonkers!
637
00:31:16,165 --> 00:31:18,732
I just did a half hour in
the bath-salt bubble room.
638
00:31:18,734 --> 00:31:20,734
I bit like seven people!
639
00:31:20,736 --> 00:31:22,535
Working it!
640
00:31:22,537 --> 00:31:24,737
Congrats! Hey, come with me,
641
00:31:24,739 --> 00:31:25,606
I wanna show you around!
642
00:31:25,608 --> 00:31:28,007
Okay. Oh, I wanna show you my nipples.
643
00:31:28,009 --> 00:31:29,176
Oh, okay.
644
00:31:29,178 --> 00:31:31,246
Coming.
645
00:31:49,163 --> 00:31:50,230
Locked and loaded, Sir.
646
00:31:50,232 --> 00:31:53,199
Oh, sweet.
647
00:31:53,201 --> 00:31:54,568
Hey, everybody!
648
00:31:54,570 --> 00:31:55,635
Open your mouths!
649
00:31:55,637 --> 00:31:58,170
Free drugs!
650
00:31:58,172 --> 00:32:02,208
Ahhh! My face! Oh, God damn it. My face!
651
00:32:02,210 --> 00:32:03,342
That's why we have medics!
652
00:32:03,344 --> 00:32:04,444
Go see a medic!
653
00:32:04,446 --> 00:32:05,678
Help.
654
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,481
Cocaine!
655
00:32:12,053 --> 00:32:14,454
Hey, welcome back.
656
00:32:14,456 --> 00:32:16,156
Coach?
657
00:32:18,293 --> 00:32:20,659
I just wanted to stop by and
congratulate you on everything.
658
00:32:20,661 --> 00:32:22,228
And we're really proud of you.
659
00:32:22,230 --> 00:32:24,398
Oh, yeah!
660
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:25,465
What happened to you?
661
00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:27,434
Oh, I hit a pothole.
662
00:32:27,436 --> 00:32:29,101
I was riding my motorcycle.
663
00:32:29,103 --> 00:32:31,038
And, everything's fine, I'm
okay, everything's great.
664
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,372
Yeah! Yeah! Me too!
665
00:32:33,374 --> 00:32:35,476
Never been better!
666
00:32:37,713 --> 00:32:39,713
We should hangout sometime.
667
00:32:39,715 --> 00:32:41,548
Definitely. We definitely gotta do that.
668
00:32:41,550 --> 00:32:43,485
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah. Yeah.
669
00:32:46,321 --> 00:32:47,387
- Don't go. Don't go.
- I miss you.
670
00:32:47,389 --> 00:32:48,487
- What?
- Huh?
671
00:32:48,489 --> 00:32:50,256
Oh, no. I thought I...
672
00:32:50,258 --> 00:32:51,457
- No. No. No. No. Hey uh...
- Oh, wait...
673
00:32:51,459 --> 00:32:52,158
I... No, I thought you were
gonna say something else.
674
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,761
No, no, no. Hey, have fun.
675
00:32:54,763 --> 00:32:56,062
Take care of yourself.
676
00:32:56,064 --> 00:32:57,464
Oh, yeah, yeah.
677
00:32:57,466 --> 00:32:59,265
Keep training, you look good.
678
00:32:59,267 --> 00:33:01,201
Oh, yeah. You look great too, coach.
679
00:33:01,203 --> 00:33:03,637
Very handsome.
680
00:33:03,639 --> 00:33:05,605
Hey, Thad. Hey, man. Hey, uh...
681
00:33:05,607 --> 00:33:07,573
Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad,
682
00:33:07,575 --> 00:33:07,907
we've got, we've got
bit of a situation, dude.
683
00:33:07,909 --> 00:33:11,078
Hit me!
684
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:12,178
What the hell was that?
685
00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:13,280
You said, "Hit me."
686
00:33:13,282 --> 00:33:15,282
- What the... What?
- I'm sorry.
687
00:33:15,284 --> 00:33:17,117
Okay, look, I don't know
what was going on here,
688
00:33:17,119 --> 00:33:18,017
but we're running out of drugs.
689
00:33:18,019 --> 00:33:20,219
The party's running out of drugs, man.
690
00:33:20,221 --> 00:33:21,455
- How the hell did that happen?
- I don't know. I don't know.
691
00:33:21,457 --> 00:33:23,557
Free drugs!
692
00:33:23,559 --> 00:33:25,292
It makes no sense to me, man.
693
00:33:25,294 --> 00:33:26,859
Because thousands of people are here, okay?
694
00:33:26,861 --> 00:33:27,628
I mean, half the cocaine was
reserved for the carnivals.
695
00:33:27,630 --> 00:33:29,196
But, I mean, that was reserved.
696
00:33:29,198 --> 00:33:30,296
It's called the reserve for a reason.
697
00:33:30,298 --> 00:33:31,798
We need that for the carnival snow.
698
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:32,365
Sorry, I'm talking so fast.
I'm just really freaking out,
699
00:33:32,367 --> 00:33:34,301
we need that cocaine.
700
00:33:34,303 --> 00:33:36,403
Well, go get Alex to get
more drugs and fix it! God!
701
00:33:36,405 --> 00:33:39,473
Hey, I already bought all the
drugs east of the Mississippi,
702
00:33:39,475 --> 00:33:41,808
there's no more drugs to buy.
703
00:33:41,810 --> 00:33:43,109
That's not true.
704
00:33:43,111 --> 00:33:45,344
- We've got drugs.
- Who are you?
705
00:33:45,346 --> 00:33:47,414
What? I'm...
706
00:33:47,416 --> 00:33:48,715
I'm the...
707
00:33:48,717 --> 00:33:49,782
I...
708
00:33:49,784 --> 00:33:51,283
You know what? It doesn't matter.
709
00:33:51,285 --> 00:33:54,753
Doesn't matter. What
maters is, you need drugs,
710
00:33:54,755 --> 00:33:56,490
Harmon and I have some.
711
00:33:56,492 --> 00:33:58,224
Real premium shit too.
712
00:33:58,226 --> 00:33:59,559
- Amazing.
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
713
00:33:59,561 --> 00:34:01,427
I don't think that's a good idea.
714
00:34:01,429 --> 00:34:03,129
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
715
00:34:03,131 --> 00:34:04,563
No, no, no, no, no, no.
716
00:34:04,565 --> 00:34:06,233
No, no, no, no, no, no.
717
00:34:06,235 --> 00:34:07,001
No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
718
00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:07,801
You idiots go get free drugs,
719
00:34:07,803 --> 00:34:09,836
you'll be my best friends for life.
720
00:34:09,838 --> 00:34:12,238
- Well sorry, I can't.
- No, no, no. You know what? Done!
721
00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:13,673
- Consider it done. Yeah, yeah we got this.
- No, I'm not.
722
00:34:13,675 --> 00:34:15,307
Thank you so much, we'll get this buddy.
723
00:34:15,309 --> 00:34:16,542
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I trust this guy.
724
00:34:16,544 --> 00:34:18,445
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too, me too, me too.
725
00:34:18,447 --> 00:34:21,247
I told you it's a bad idea, man.
726
00:34:21,249 --> 00:34:23,383
How much more of this shit
do we have to put up with?
727
00:34:23,385 --> 00:34:24,617
What shit?
728
00:34:24,619 --> 00:34:27,521
The titty-whapping, the groping.
729
00:34:27,523 --> 00:34:29,689
I mean, sure, it's paying for my doctorate
730
00:34:29,691 --> 00:34:32,358
in applied physics, but I don't
know if I can keep doing this.
731
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,428
You're in this for the money?
732
00:34:35,430 --> 00:34:38,400
You gold digging bitch!
733
00:34:39,501 --> 00:34:41,501
I love Thad.
734
00:34:41,503 --> 00:34:44,106
I love him!
735
00:34:47,508 --> 00:34:50,577
I wouldn't drink that if I were you.
736
00:34:50,579 --> 00:34:52,678
Why not silly bear? It's free booze.
737
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,615
I can think of a reason.
738
00:34:56,617 --> 00:35:00,253
- Whoops!
- Whoa, there it is! I know.
739
00:35:00,255 --> 00:35:01,954
- Whoa, there it is!
- I've got your wiener.
740
00:35:01,956 --> 00:35:04,524
- I know.
- Alex! Hi.
741
00:35:04,526 --> 00:35:06,926
Hi. I just saw a woman deep throat a 40.
742
00:35:06,928 --> 00:35:11,830
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm, a full 40. You should go find her.
743
00:35:11,832 --> 00:35:16,369
I am going to go find her and Sammy.
744
00:35:16,371 --> 00:35:17,570
Have you seen Sammy?
745
00:35:17,572 --> 00:35:19,405
No, he's not in the tub.
746
00:35:19,407 --> 00:35:21,941
This is true. I'm gonna go find Sammy.
747
00:35:21,943 --> 00:35:23,943
Bye. Bye.
748
00:35:23,945 --> 00:35:26,680
- Don't touch that.
- Why not?
749
00:35:29,418 --> 00:35:32,586
Oh, this is awesome! How long
has this been down here for?
750
00:35:32,588 --> 00:35:34,387
Built it my freshman year.
751
00:35:34,389 --> 00:35:37,823
It's nothing compared to my
cousin Dennis' set up back home.
752
00:35:37,825 --> 00:35:39,559
Holy shit, what is this,
like steel or something?
753
00:35:39,561 --> 00:35:40,827
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't touch that.
754
00:35:40,829 --> 00:35:43,796
Don't breath on it, don't even look at it.
755
00:35:43,798 --> 00:35:45,365
My cousin Dennis blew up his trailer
756
00:35:45,367 --> 00:35:47,666
just by sneezing on a tank.
757
00:35:47,668 --> 00:35:50,937
Oh, man, that means it
must be powerful. Yes!
758
00:35:50,939 --> 00:35:52,872
Thad is gonna love this then
he's gonna remember my name!
759
00:35:52,874 --> 00:35:54,474
Oh, yes!
760
00:35:54,476 --> 00:35:57,309
Hey look at me. This
isn't a typical drug, okay.
761
00:35:57,311 --> 00:35:59,278
It's highly unstable.
762
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,247
Yeah, well, I'm highly
unstable too, my friend.
763
00:36:01,249 --> 00:36:02,881
That's why I brought Billy.
764
00:36:02,883 --> 00:36:05,452
I figure, you know,
765
00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:06,620
test it on him first,
766
00:36:06,622 --> 00:36:08,523
see if he can handle it.
767
00:36:09,925 --> 00:36:11,758
Animal testing, Sammy?
768
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,459
Once again, not a good idea.
769
00:36:13,461 --> 00:36:15,629
You know what? It's fine.
770
00:36:15,631 --> 00:36:17,030
Billy's a little fucking asshole.
771
00:36:17,032 --> 00:36:18,865
So whatever happens to him, happens to him.
772
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,340
Oh, yeah. Look at his eyes.
773
00:36:27,342 --> 00:36:29,408
Oh, he's loving this.
774
00:36:29,410 --> 00:36:30,843
You like that, Billy?
775
00:36:30,845 --> 00:36:33,546
Huh? "Oh, no. I can't handle my drugs."
776
00:36:33,548 --> 00:36:36,283
"I can't handle my drugs."
777
00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:43,525
There you go. Get your balloons here!
778
00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:45,725
Hey, man, I really think we should have
779
00:36:45,727 --> 00:36:47,394
gone with a lower dose.
780
00:36:47,396 --> 00:36:49,729
Dude, relax, okay? Billy's fine.
781
00:36:49,731 --> 00:36:53,432
We're all good. Oh, shit, there's Thad.
782
00:36:53,434 --> 00:36:55,401
Thad, Thad, Thad, Thad. Listen.
783
00:36:55,403 --> 00:36:57,771
Uh, here's the drug I
was telling you about.
784
00:36:57,773 --> 00:36:58,838
- This?
- Yeah, yeah.
785
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:00,506
Just suck on it, you'll love it.
786
00:37:00,508 --> 00:37:01,441
This better be good.
787
00:37:01,443 --> 00:37:03,445
Oh, it will be.
788
00:37:12,688 --> 00:37:15,588
I'll devour your soul!
789
00:37:22,097 --> 00:37:23,662
It's perfect.
790
00:37:23,664 --> 00:37:24,898
Dick Dawg, write this guy a check.
791
00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:26,599
Oh. No, no, no need for payment.
792
00:37:26,601 --> 00:37:28,501
I, uh... All I need from you is, uh...
793
00:37:28,503 --> 00:37:29,635
Fiendship. Just, you know,
794
00:37:29,637 --> 00:37:31,672
remember what my name and stuff.
795
00:37:33,108 --> 00:37:35,742
How about a hot sloot instead?
796
00:37:35,744 --> 00:37:37,910
Well, that'll work. Yeah. It's good.
797
00:37:37,912 --> 00:37:39,845
Tina!
798
00:37:39,847 --> 00:37:41,780
Tina. Hey.
799
00:37:41,782 --> 00:37:44,818
Tina, this is...
800
00:37:44,820 --> 00:37:45,885
Sammy.
801
00:37:45,887 --> 00:37:47,954
And, uh...
802
00:37:47,956 --> 00:37:50,023
- Sammy.
- This is Tina.
803
00:37:50,025 --> 00:37:53,827
Uh, Tina, would you mind showing, uh...
804
00:37:54,863 --> 00:37:56,463
Sammy.
805
00:37:56,465 --> 00:37:57,564
Upstairs and showing him a good time?
806
00:37:57,566 --> 00:37:58,532
Okay.
807
00:37:58,534 --> 00:38:00,966
- Thank you so much. Thank you. Ahhh!
- Let's go!
808
00:38:00,968 --> 00:38:02,836
Ahhh! Thank you so much, Thad!
809
00:38:02,838 --> 00:38:05,974
- I really appreciate.
- Thank you, Tina! You're the best!
810
00:38:09,945 --> 00:38:12,745
Oh, lets go look at the pretty white pony
811
00:38:12,747 --> 00:38:15,481
with the golden horn.
812
00:38:15,483 --> 00:38:17,550
Let's do that, huh?
813
00:38:17,552 --> 00:38:21,153
- Want one?
- No, thanks.
814
00:38:21,155 --> 00:38:23,990
Hey, don't worry about her,
okay? It's just a thing.
815
00:38:23,992 --> 00:38:26,760
Just a thing? I invited her tonight
816
00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:29,062
to specifically turn her into a dyke.
817
00:38:29,064 --> 00:38:30,296
And he can't keep his hands off her.
818
00:38:30,298 --> 00:38:34,600
Dude, come on. You're not
mad at him, you're mad at her.
819
00:38:34,602 --> 00:38:36,870
She's taking Alex away from you.
820
00:38:36,872 --> 00:38:40,039
This so reminds me of my dad.
821
00:38:40,041 --> 00:38:41,408
Um.
822
00:38:41,410 --> 00:38:42,809
He loved horses.
823
00:38:42,811 --> 00:38:44,144
Oh, okay.
824
00:38:44,146 --> 00:38:45,644
I don't know what you think is going on
825
00:38:45,646 --> 00:38:48,715
between me and Alex, but I like pussy.
826
00:38:48,717 --> 00:38:51,084
No, no. I love pussy.
827
00:38:51,086 --> 00:38:54,620
Yeah, I love pussy!
828
00:38:54,622 --> 00:38:56,523
- Woo-hoo!
- Woo!
829
00:38:56,525 --> 00:38:57,791
Yeah, but before that you didn't.
830
00:38:57,793 --> 00:38:59,158
And you were into Alex.
831
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:00,559
And you know what,
832
00:39:00,561 --> 00:39:02,061
I don't think you're gay.
833
00:39:02,063 --> 00:39:03,162
You're college gay.
834
00:39:03,164 --> 00:39:04,963
Which is totally different.
835
00:39:04,965 --> 00:39:06,499
You're just killing time with women.
836
00:39:06,501 --> 00:39:09,202
Okay, now I am offended. Yeah.
837
00:39:09,204 --> 00:39:10,937
You are offending me right now.
838
00:39:10,939 --> 00:39:14,541
What makes you think you know
the first thing about my gayness?
839
00:39:14,543 --> 00:39:17,042
Well. I'm gay.
840
00:39:17,044 --> 00:39:18,678
What?
841
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,580
- Since when?
- Since forever.
842
00:39:21,582 --> 00:39:22,981
I just never say anything about it
843
00:39:22,983 --> 00:39:24,883
because no one ever asks. But yeah...
844
00:39:24,885 --> 00:39:26,688
I'm gay.
845
00:39:28,789 --> 00:39:31,191
- No way.
- Awesome.
846
00:39:31,193 --> 00:39:34,093
Thad. Thad, it's not a big deal, okay?
847
00:39:34,095 --> 00:39:36,195
It's a personal thing
and I'd really appreciate
848
00:39:36,197 --> 00:39:37,564
if we could keep it that way.
849
00:39:37,566 --> 00:39:41,501
Donnie, absolutely.
850
00:39:41,503 --> 00:39:43,635
- Totally agree.
- Thank you.
851
00:39:43,637 --> 00:39:45,171
Hey, Everybody!
852
00:39:45,173 --> 00:39:46,840
Donnie's gay!
853
00:39:49,778 --> 00:39:52,812
Hey. Seriously, man. Congratulations, dude.
854
00:39:52,814 --> 00:39:55,481
You're gonna get so much dick.
855
00:39:55,483 --> 00:39:57,149
Hey, Harmon. Donnie's a gay guy!
856
00:39:57,151 --> 00:39:59,586
I know that.
857
00:39:59,588 --> 00:40:02,921
Again, Thad, it's never been a big deal.
858
00:40:02,923 --> 00:40:04,256
Let's keep it that way. Okay?
859
00:40:04,258 --> 00:40:06,559
How's this for not a big deal?
860
00:40:06,561 --> 00:40:08,495
I'm gonna buy you a car, you brave bastard.
861
00:40:08,497 --> 00:40:10,162
Dick Dawg, write this gay guy a check!
862
00:40:10,164 --> 00:40:12,199
Fuck yeah!
863
00:40:14,168 --> 00:40:16,035
It's for the whole gay thing, man.
864
00:40:16,037 --> 00:40:17,704
Congrats.
865
00:40:17,706 --> 00:40:20,573
I'm gonna shove so many things up your ass.
866
00:40:20,575 --> 00:40:22,008
Let me put it to you this way,
867
00:40:22,010 --> 00:40:24,711
you can drive a fucking Cadillac up there,
868
00:40:24,713 --> 00:40:27,713
just as long as I get to
have sex with you after.
869
00:40:27,715 --> 00:40:29,215
Wow. Um...
870
00:40:29,217 --> 00:40:31,149
There's the pool stick
downstairs, I could try it.
871
00:40:31,151 --> 00:40:33,086
Uh, yeah. That sounds great.
872
00:40:33,088 --> 00:40:34,387
Why don't you give me
another hit and then run that
873
00:40:34,389 --> 00:40:36,523
cute little butt of yours
downstairs and grab it. Okay?
874
00:40:36,525 --> 00:40:38,559
Okay.
875
00:40:41,530 --> 00:40:43,598
Mmm.
876
00:40:44,798 --> 00:40:46,832
I'll be right back.
877
00:40:46,834 --> 00:40:50,135
Oh, yes. Go!
878
00:40:50,137 --> 00:40:52,805
Tina, I love you.
879
00:40:52,807 --> 00:40:55,173
Sammy, we're gonna need more balloons.
880
00:40:55,175 --> 00:40:58,912
You're right, people are going nuts for...
881
00:41:10,892 --> 00:41:12,694
Billy!
882
00:41:21,102 --> 00:41:24,506
Oh, shit!
883
00:41:25,673 --> 00:41:29,076
Oh, shit!
884
00:41:33,314 --> 00:41:36,282
Thad, thank you so much
for this opportunity.
885
00:41:36,284 --> 00:41:37,649
Leave the lot to me.
886
00:41:37,651 --> 00:41:38,718
Thank you so much.
887
00:41:39,787 --> 00:41:40,986
Tina!
888
00:41:40,988 --> 00:41:42,789
Tina, is that you?
889
00:41:49,965 --> 00:41:51,597
Okay, well, I hear walking,
890
00:41:51,599 --> 00:41:52,798
I wanna hear some running, okay?
891
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,601
Get over here, Tina.
892
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,240
Whoa.
893
00:42:01,242 --> 00:42:02,841
Uh, all right.
894
00:42:02,843 --> 00:42:04,910
All right.
895
00:42:04,912 --> 00:42:07,245
Oh! Wow! Wow!
896
00:42:07,247 --> 00:42:09,048
That felt very nice.
897
00:42:09,050 --> 00:42:11,184
You are a dirty girl, Tina. Dirty girl.
898
00:42:16,256 --> 00:42:18,124
Oh, go easy...
899
00:42:18,126 --> 00:42:20,026
Go easy...
900
00:42:20,028 --> 00:42:21,093
Easy...
901
00:42:21,095 --> 00:42:22,294
Nice and slow.
902
00:42:22,296 --> 00:42:25,198
All right, finish it up so I
can have sex with you, okay?
903
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,733
Sammy! I'm ready if you are!
904
00:42:29,137 --> 00:42:30,303
Tina!
905
00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:34,707
Billy! Bad Billy!
906
00:42:34,709 --> 00:42:36,175
That's a bad goat.
907
00:42:36,177 --> 00:42:38,044
Bad goat, Billy!
908
00:42:38,046 --> 00:42:40,979
Bad goat, Billy! Bad goat!
909
00:42:49,323 --> 00:42:50,557
Hey, everybody! Listen up.
910
00:42:50,559 --> 00:42:52,791
I have a very important
announcement to make.
911
00:42:55,095 --> 00:42:56,928
Donnie Schrab is gay!
912
00:43:00,001 --> 00:43:01,667
Not a big deal everybody.
913
00:43:01,669 --> 00:43:02,602
So you know,
914
00:43:02,604 --> 00:43:04,671
I don't know, buy him a drink...
915
00:43:04,673 --> 00:43:07,073
Or if you're a guy, suck
his dick or whatever.
916
00:43:07,075 --> 00:43:08,140
But it's great.
917
00:43:08,142 --> 00:43:09,977
Let's party!
918
00:43:12,079 --> 00:43:14,847
Hey, are you feeling a little
overshadowed by all this?
919
00:43:14,849 --> 00:43:16,349
I mean, a cheerleader comes out as gay
920
00:43:16,351 --> 00:43:17,816
and no one bats an eye.
921
00:43:17,818 --> 00:43:18,450
But when a football player does,
922
00:43:18,452 --> 00:43:20,787
suddenly he's the hero?
923
00:43:22,157 --> 00:43:25,358
Mary Jo, wait!
924
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:26,959
Do you have any blueberry waffles
925
00:43:26,961 --> 00:43:30,098
because I'm super-duper
starving right now.
926
00:43:31,265 --> 00:43:33,066
Is that a yes?
927
00:43:33,068 --> 00:43:34,733
Mary Jo! Ah...
928
00:43:36,738 --> 00:43:39,140
Oh, shit. The auction!
929
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:42,140
Where did he...
930
00:43:42,142 --> 00:43:43,276
- Thad!
- Billy!
931
00:43:43,278 --> 00:43:45,311
Billy!
932
00:43:45,313 --> 00:43:47,245
Oh, hey, Sammy, Sammy.
933
00:43:47,247 --> 00:43:49,282
- Have you seen Billy?
- Nope. I have not seen Billy.
934
00:43:49,284 --> 00:43:51,416
And those balloons, not good.
935
00:43:51,418 --> 00:43:53,151
Yeah I told you that. You okay?
936
00:43:53,153 --> 00:43:54,486
Me? Totally fine.
937
00:43:54,488 --> 00:43:55,821
Never been better, never been better.
938
00:43:55,823 --> 00:43:58,358
There we go. Oh, there we go.
939
00:44:08,001 --> 00:44:11,037
Officer. We're going
to shut this party down.
940
00:44:11,039 --> 00:44:12,338
I'm sorry, Dean, mate. I can't let you in.
941
00:44:12,340 --> 00:44:14,907
Thad Castle and Alex Moran
made a very significant donation
942
00:44:14,909 --> 00:44:16,508
to our benevolent fund.
943
00:44:16,510 --> 00:44:18,910
They specifically asked that
we not let you into the house.
944
00:44:18,912 --> 00:44:21,213
Fine! They want to play like that?
945
00:44:21,215 --> 00:44:22,381
We sell this house
946
00:44:22,383 --> 00:44:24,850
right here, right now!
947
00:44:24,852 --> 00:44:29,088
Auctioneer, bidders, right now.
948
00:44:29,090 --> 00:44:31,990
Thad!
949
00:44:31,992 --> 00:44:34,260
Thad!
950
00:44:34,262 --> 00:44:37,129
Thad!
951
00:44:38,767 --> 00:44:40,432
Round and round he goes!
952
00:44:40,434 --> 00:44:44,903
Where he stops nobody knows!
953
00:44:44,905 --> 00:44:46,972
Okay, Barbara, you have
to take a Jell-O shot
954
00:44:46,974 --> 00:44:49,108
and make out with Jeanine for five seconds.
955
00:44:49,110 --> 00:44:50,876
Okay.
956
00:44:50,878 --> 00:44:52,477
Oh, my god!
957
00:44:52,479 --> 00:44:55,782
- Oh, my God!
- Thad!
958
00:44:55,784 --> 00:44:57,383
Okay. Thad, it's midnight, okay?
959
00:44:57,385 --> 00:44:58,483
The auction is happening right now.
960
00:44:58,485 --> 00:45:00,153
- We need to go.
- Uh...
961
00:45:00,155 --> 00:45:01,787
We're playing spin the Thad-dle,
962
00:45:01,789 --> 00:45:03,488
- page twenty-one of the book.
- I know what it is!
963
00:45:03,490 --> 00:45:04,923
I'm the one who set it up for you,
964
00:45:04,925 --> 00:45:06,258
- like I said I would.
- Okay, great!
965
00:45:06,260 --> 00:45:08,294
So you know how important this is to me.
966
00:45:08,296 --> 00:45:10,428
Spin me!
967
00:45:10,430 --> 00:45:13,566
Yay!
968
00:45:13,568 --> 00:45:15,501
Thad, saving the Goat House
969
00:45:15,503 --> 00:45:17,236
- is the whole reason I agreed to throw this party
- Oh, my gosh!
970
00:45:17,238 --> 00:45:18,937
- in the first place.
- I can't take this anymore.
971
00:45:18,939 --> 00:45:20,439
We don't have time for this, Moran!
972
00:45:20,441 --> 00:45:23,408
Debbie, do a line of coke
off Nancy's knockers and...
973
00:45:23,410 --> 00:45:25,111
- Spin me!
- No, no, no.
974
00:45:25,113 --> 00:45:26,579
Don't spin, don't spin.
975
00:45:26,581 --> 00:45:28,948
Yay!
976
00:45:28,950 --> 00:45:33,119
Never stop spinning me!
977
00:45:33,121 --> 00:45:34,452
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming.
978
00:45:34,454 --> 00:45:35,521
We're putting up for auction
979
00:45:35,523 --> 00:45:37,088
this piece of real estate.
980
00:45:37,090 --> 00:45:40,425
We'll start the bidding at $150,000.
981
00:45:40,427 --> 00:45:42,294
Do I hear $150,000?
982
00:45:42,296 --> 00:45:45,564
One-fifty right here.
Looking for 175, 175.
983
00:45:45,566 --> 00:45:48,267
Do I hear 200? Do I hear two?
984
00:45:48,269 --> 00:45:49,936
$200,000.
985
00:45:51,238 --> 00:45:53,305
Your reign here is over, Mr. Moran.
986
00:45:53,307 --> 00:45:55,106
It's best to step away gracefully.
987
00:45:55,108 --> 00:45:57,475
We have 240 right here. Looking for 250.
988
00:45:57,477 --> 00:45:59,111
240,000 going once...
989
00:45:59,113 --> 00:46:00,412
Shit!
990
00:46:00,414 --> 00:46:03,115
240,000 going twice...
991
00:46:03,117 --> 00:46:05,952
Three million!
992
00:46:05,954 --> 00:46:09,120
Son, the current bid is $240,000.
993
00:46:09,122 --> 00:46:11,057
Oh...
994
00:46:11,059 --> 00:46:14,961
Maybe you should make it three
and a half million dollars.
995
00:46:14,963 --> 00:46:18,030
Okay, $3.5 million going once...
996
00:46:18,032 --> 00:46:19,231
Four million dollars!
997
00:46:19,233 --> 00:46:21,600
Thad, you don't have to outbid yourself.
998
00:46:21,602 --> 00:46:24,070
- Five million dollars!
- Oh, my God.
999
00:46:24,072 --> 00:46:26,571
Fine, $5,000,000 going once,
1000
00:46:26,573 --> 00:46:29,508
$5,000,000 going twice.
1001
00:46:29,510 --> 00:46:32,979
Oh, yeah! Yeah, nice try.
1002
00:46:32,981 --> 00:46:35,280
I'd have to be a real idiot
to pay more than $5,000,000
1003
00:46:35,282 --> 00:46:37,550
for this piece of shit house.
1004
00:46:37,552 --> 00:46:40,119
Sold for $5,000,000.
1005
00:46:40,121 --> 00:46:42,954
To the oiled up man in
the white, furry slippers.
1006
00:46:42,956 --> 00:46:44,624
- Woo-hoo!
- They cannot do that!
1007
00:46:44,626 --> 00:46:46,892
- They can't do this.
- He bid for it fair and square.
1008
00:46:46,894 --> 00:46:49,028
Oh, sorry, Deany.
1009
00:46:49,030 --> 00:46:51,664
This castle is very well protected.
1010
00:46:51,666 --> 00:46:55,468
Officer, would you escort the
Dean off of my property, please.
1011
00:46:55,470 --> 00:46:56,669
You don't know who you're
messing with, Moran.
1012
00:46:56,671 --> 00:46:58,470
- All right, let's go.
- I will bring the thunder!
1013
00:46:58,472 --> 00:46:59,671
And you, Daniels!
1014
00:46:59,673 --> 00:47:02,541
Daniels! I come for you next!
1015
00:47:02,543 --> 00:47:04,142
I know what really happened.
1016
00:47:06,180 --> 00:47:08,079
You're a drunk!
1017
00:47:08,081 --> 00:47:11,383
All right. Everybody back inside.
1018
00:47:11,385 --> 00:47:13,486
Let's party!
1019
00:47:13,488 --> 00:47:15,254
Oh, my God!
1020
00:47:15,256 --> 00:47:17,055
I did it!
1021
00:47:17,057 --> 00:47:21,094
Oh! I finally got my Goat House back!
1022
00:47:22,329 --> 00:47:23,495
What did you just say?
1023
00:47:23,497 --> 00:47:24,664
Hmm?
1024
00:47:24,666 --> 00:47:26,131
Oh, thank you.
1025
00:47:26,133 --> 00:47:28,367
You really helped me out here, man.
1026
00:47:28,369 --> 00:47:30,169
I got my Goat House back.
1027
00:47:30,171 --> 00:47:31,637
Your house?
1028
00:47:31,639 --> 00:47:34,039
Yeah.
1029
00:47:34,041 --> 00:47:36,508
God...
1030
00:47:36,510 --> 00:47:38,510
This has never been about me, has it?
1031
00:47:38,512 --> 00:47:41,314
It's always been about you.
1032
00:47:41,316 --> 00:47:45,017
Alex Moran this. Alex Moran that.
1033
00:47:45,019 --> 00:47:46,551
Well, guess what, Moran,
1034
00:47:46,553 --> 00:47:48,889
newsflash.
1035
00:47:53,394 --> 00:47:56,195
Newsflash.
1036
00:47:56,197 --> 00:47:58,097
Dick Dawg.
1037
00:47:58,099 --> 00:48:00,566
Escort this selfish jerk off my property.
1038
00:48:00,568 --> 00:48:02,501
- What?
- Then write yourself a check.
1039
00:48:02,503 --> 00:48:03,702
Fuck yeah!
1040
00:48:03,704 --> 00:48:05,338
Hey, Thad! You can't do this.
1041
00:48:05,340 --> 00:48:06,671
You can't kick me out of my own house.
1042
00:48:06,673 --> 00:48:09,509
It's not your house anymore, cock tease!
1043
00:48:24,258 --> 00:48:25,691
All right!
1044
00:48:25,693 --> 00:48:27,559
First one to bring me a mojito
1045
00:48:27,561 --> 00:48:30,162
wins a whap session in
the ham sandwich room!
1046
00:48:52,787 --> 00:48:54,419
- Hey, man, balloon?
- Thank you.
1047
00:48:54,421 --> 00:48:56,354
I invited you here,
1048
00:48:56,356 --> 00:48:58,591
you said yes, so why aren't we hanging out?
1049
00:48:58,593 --> 00:49:00,258
Wait, I'm confused.
1050
00:49:00,260 --> 00:49:03,028
Do you or do you not have blueberry waffles
1051
00:49:03,030 --> 00:49:04,329
because I'm starving.
1052
00:49:04,331 --> 00:49:06,064
- Hey!
- No.
1053
00:49:06,066 --> 00:49:07,100
- What?
- Get out of here.
1054
00:49:07,102 --> 00:49:09,068
- No.
- You're not invited into this conversation.
1055
00:49:09,070 --> 00:49:11,303
Okay. I think I get
why you're pissed at me,
1056
00:49:11,305 --> 00:49:12,704
but Holly is not gay.
1057
00:49:12,706 --> 00:49:14,640
And you can't turn her gay.
1058
00:49:14,642 --> 00:49:17,575
- Is that right?
- Yeah, that's right.
1059
00:49:17,577 --> 00:49:19,980
Did you know you can eat bark?
1060
00:49:27,354 --> 00:49:31,524
Whoa! Your tongue is bonkers.
1061
00:49:31,526 --> 00:49:33,494
All right.
1062
00:49:39,099 --> 00:49:40,499
All right.
1063
00:49:40,501 --> 00:49:42,334
Okay. There it is.
1064
00:49:42,336 --> 00:49:44,236
Alex, your lips are sick.
1065
00:49:44,238 --> 00:49:45,805
Thank you.
1066
00:49:45,807 --> 00:49:48,009
Hmm?
1067
00:49:55,115 --> 00:49:58,617
Your tongue really is bonkers.
1068
00:49:58,619 --> 00:50:01,155
Why didn't I remember...
1069
00:50:03,157 --> 00:50:05,292
Why didn't you remember what?
1070
00:50:08,095 --> 00:50:10,296
Holy shitballs.
1071
00:50:10,298 --> 00:50:12,566
Are you guys...
1072
00:50:14,235 --> 00:50:16,167
Fuck a duck.
1073
00:50:16,169 --> 00:50:16,869
Alex.
1074
00:50:16,871 --> 00:50:18,370
Hmm?
1075
00:50:18,372 --> 00:50:20,872
Why didn't we ever talk about it?
1076
00:50:20,874 --> 00:50:24,109
We hooked up, it was good and then...
1077
00:50:24,111 --> 00:50:26,611
I... I liked you.
1078
00:50:26,613 --> 00:50:28,280
But you said that you were gay.
1079
00:50:28,282 --> 00:50:30,282
I was a sophomore.
1080
00:50:30,284 --> 00:50:32,184
That's what sophomore girls do.
1081
00:50:32,186 --> 00:50:34,519
Freshman year we're drunk and slutty.
1082
00:50:34,521 --> 00:50:37,222
Sophomore year we experiment
with our sexuality.
1083
00:50:37,224 --> 00:50:38,557
Junior year we start caring about school,
1084
00:50:38,559 --> 00:50:40,459
and senior year anything goes.
1085
00:50:40,461 --> 00:50:43,229
It's called the college experience.
1086
00:50:43,231 --> 00:50:44,597
This is my last year of college.
1087
00:50:44,599 --> 00:50:47,566
And I can't...
1088
00:50:47,568 --> 00:50:49,135
I can't have a girlfriend.
1089
00:50:49,137 --> 00:50:51,403
And you shouldn't.
1090
00:50:51,405 --> 00:50:53,905
But if you do...
1091
00:50:53,907 --> 00:50:56,309
It should be me.
1092
00:50:59,713 --> 00:51:01,213
Oh, my God.
1093
00:51:01,215 --> 00:51:03,483
Are we all gonna do it?
1094
00:51:51,731 --> 00:51:53,832
What is going on here?
1095
00:51:53,834 --> 00:51:56,470
I think they're trying to fuck.
1096
00:52:08,282 --> 00:52:10,548
So... What's going on here?
1097
00:52:10,550 --> 00:52:14,986
I think these guys are trying to fuck
1098
00:52:14,988 --> 00:52:17,689
and those guys are talking about it.
1099
00:52:20,227 --> 00:52:22,229
Beer's inside?
1100
00:52:40,814 --> 00:52:42,580
Houseboy!
1101
00:52:42,582 --> 00:52:45,919
Get your ass in here, houseboy!
1102
00:52:48,356 --> 00:52:50,289
Houseboy!
1103
00:52:50,291 --> 00:52:53,992
I need more olives for
my martini, god damn it!
1104
00:52:53,994 --> 00:52:55,361
Thad?
1105
00:52:55,363 --> 00:52:56,928
He can't hear you.
1106
00:52:56,930 --> 00:52:58,763
Why not?
1107
00:52:58,765 --> 00:53:00,865
You're looking at 15 years in the future.
1108
00:53:03,704 --> 00:53:05,537
You're serious?
1109
00:53:05,539 --> 00:53:06,671
Fifteen years in the future
1110
00:53:06,673 --> 00:53:08,439
Thad is living in the Goat House?
1111
00:53:08,441 --> 00:53:09,941
Oh, no, he never left.
1112
00:53:09,943 --> 00:53:12,278
You know, uh, Thadland became Thad World
1113
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:13,379
and, uh, he's been here ever since.
1114
00:53:13,381 --> 00:53:15,381
Houseboy!
1115
00:53:15,383 --> 00:53:16,481
And you're living with him?
1116
00:53:16,483 --> 00:53:17,816
Me? Oh, no, no, no.
1117
00:53:17,818 --> 00:53:20,486
I am long gone. Long gone.
1118
00:53:20,488 --> 00:53:22,488
I, uh, I died at Thadland.
1119
00:53:22,490 --> 00:53:23,888
Fell off the ferris wheel jerking off.
1120
00:53:23,890 --> 00:53:26,758
- You died?
- Houseboy!
1121
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:29,662
Wait, then who's houseboy?
1122
00:53:29,664 --> 00:53:32,030
Sorry, bro-beans. I was
polishing your trophies.
1123
00:53:32,032 --> 00:53:34,733
Also, your car is washed,
1124
00:53:34,735 --> 00:53:36,334
your laundry's done,
1125
00:53:36,336 --> 00:53:37,436
and your chrome pocket pussy
1126
00:53:37,438 --> 00:53:39,905
is all buffed up and ready to go.
1127
00:53:39,907 --> 00:53:41,472
No way.
1128
00:53:41,474 --> 00:53:44,376
- Yeah. Yeah, and you're fat, too.
- What?
1129
00:53:44,378 --> 00:53:46,544
No, no, no. No way that is happening.
1130
00:53:46,546 --> 00:53:49,515
You made this happen. You should be pumped!
1131
00:53:49,517 --> 00:53:51,550
I mean, yes, you sacrificed
everything that was good in your life
1132
00:53:51,552 --> 00:53:52,617
along the way
1133
00:53:52,619 --> 00:53:53,986
but you got your Goat House
1134
00:53:53,988 --> 00:53:56,490
and you and Thad are happy living here.
1135
00:54:00,660 --> 00:54:02,827
What, what about, what about Mary Jo?
1136
00:54:02,829 --> 00:54:04,430
She, uh, she couldn't wait around.
1137
00:54:06,666 --> 00:54:07,899
I'm real sorry I got in the way
1138
00:54:07,901 --> 00:54:08,966
of your sneeze there, boss.
1139
00:54:08,968 --> 00:54:09,834
That's bullshit.
1140
00:54:09,836 --> 00:54:12,070
No. You want to know what's bullshit?
1141
00:54:12,072 --> 00:54:13,705
Toilet duty in heaven.
1142
00:54:13,707 --> 00:54:15,740
Jesus says if I don't
clean the toilets by 6:00,
1143
00:54:15,742 --> 00:54:17,343
he's gonna give me a spanking.
1144
00:54:17,345 --> 00:54:18,910
Jesus spanks you?
1145
00:54:18,912 --> 00:54:19,711
Well, it's more like a tickling thing,
1146
00:54:19,713 --> 00:54:21,412
but either way I just don't like it.
1147
00:54:21,414 --> 00:54:22,414
See you around, pal.
1148
00:54:22,416 --> 00:54:24,682
Houseboy, my hemorrhoid needs cleaning!
1149
00:54:24,684 --> 00:54:27,352
Wait, Sammy!
1150
00:54:27,354 --> 00:54:28,653
We got to fix this.
1151
00:54:28,655 --> 00:54:29,787
You're on your own.
1152
00:54:29,789 --> 00:54:31,523
I don't want to get spanked.
1153
00:54:31,525 --> 00:54:32,557
Sammy!
1154
00:54:32,559 --> 00:54:33,624
Coming, Jesus!
1155
00:54:33,626 --> 00:54:35,928
Sammy! Sammy!
1156
00:54:48,409 --> 00:54:50,611
What the fuck?
1157
00:54:52,813 --> 00:54:55,481
Sammy!
1158
00:54:55,483 --> 00:54:57,785
Mary Jo?
1159
00:55:02,122 --> 00:55:05,023
Hey!
1160
00:55:05,025 --> 00:55:07,792
Hey! Yes!
1161
00:55:07,794 --> 00:55:10,662
Thank you so much for stopping.
1162
00:55:10,664 --> 00:55:11,829
Shilo?
1163
00:55:11,831 --> 00:55:14,932
Ooh! Alex Moran.
1164
00:55:14,934 --> 00:55:16,033
What the hell are you doing out here, man?
1165
00:55:16,035 --> 00:55:17,102
You look nuts.
1166
00:55:17,104 --> 00:55:18,704
It's a long story, man.
1167
00:55:18,706 --> 00:55:20,905
Where are we? I gotta get
back to the Goat House.
1168
00:55:20,907 --> 00:55:21,840
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's where I'm going!
1169
00:55:21,842 --> 00:55:23,841
Hop in, man. To Thadland!
1170
00:55:23,843 --> 00:55:25,577
I can't believe you guys didn't invite me!
1171
00:55:25,579 --> 00:55:26,979
- Thadland?
- Mmm-hmm.
1172
00:55:26,981 --> 00:55:28,981
That was last night. It's over.
1173
00:55:28,983 --> 00:55:30,816
Oh, no, no, no.
1174
00:55:30,818 --> 00:55:32,517
I've been seeing the
commercials all weekend long.
1175
00:55:32,519 --> 00:55:35,454
- Commercials?
- Biggest, baddest party of all time.
1176
00:55:35,456 --> 00:55:37,155
They've got games and rides
1177
00:55:37,157 --> 00:55:39,024
and a contest for the best abs.
1178
00:55:39,026 --> 00:55:41,593
Now let me ask you.
1179
00:55:41,595 --> 00:55:43,528
Who's taking home that prize?
1180
00:55:43,530 --> 00:55:45,129
- Uh...
- Go ahead.
1181
00:55:45,131 --> 00:55:46,664
Touch it.
1182
00:55:46,666 --> 00:55:47,832
I'd rather not.
1183
00:55:47,834 --> 00:55:48,934
- No, no, no.
- No, I'm good.
1184
00:55:48,936 --> 00:55:50,936
They're just amazing abs.
They're not gonna bite you.
1185
00:55:50,938 --> 00:55:53,671
Wait, what day is it today?
1186
00:55:53,673 --> 00:55:55,541
It's Monday.
1187
00:55:57,811 --> 00:55:59,812
No fucking way.
1188
00:56:02,849 --> 00:56:04,149
Do you like fun?
1189
00:56:04,151 --> 00:56:05,983
Do you like excitement?
1190
00:56:05,985 --> 00:56:08,187
Well, we... Well, then
come on down to Thadland!
1191
00:56:08,189 --> 00:56:10,789
We've got lots of
that kind of stuff!
1192
00:56:10,791 --> 00:56:12,490
Whoo!
1193
00:56:12,492 --> 00:56:13,626
I'm Thad Castle!
1194
00:56:13,628 --> 00:56:15,760
And whether it's
bouncing with sloots...
1195
00:56:15,762 --> 00:56:17,797
Whoo-hoo!
1196
00:56:18,832 --> 00:56:22,468
Or sweet beach on a ferris wheel.
1197
00:56:22,470 --> 00:56:24,872
It even snows cocaine here!
1198
00:56:27,508 --> 00:56:28,673
Here's fun facts about Thadland.
1199
00:56:28,675 --> 00:56:29,908
It was created three days ago.
1200
00:56:29,910 --> 00:56:31,910
Our only currency is checks.
1201
00:56:31,912 --> 00:56:34,111
And we're open 23/7, nine
days a week, 385 days a year.
1202
00:56:34,113 --> 00:56:36,113
So round up your bro-beans
1203
00:56:36,115 --> 00:56:39,651
and come on down to the place
where the fun never ends!
1204
00:56:39,653 --> 00:56:41,586
Fuck you, Walt Disney!
1205
00:56:41,588 --> 00:56:43,488
This is Thadland!
1206
00:57:02,742 --> 00:57:04,675
This is disgusting.
1207
00:57:04,677 --> 00:57:07,178
What happened to the party?
1208
00:57:07,180 --> 00:57:09,914
It's right here?
1209
00:57:09,916 --> 00:57:11,249
Hey, ladies.
1210
00:57:11,251 --> 00:57:13,519
Check out these abs.
1211
00:57:41,081 --> 00:57:42,747
This fucking tastes so bad.
1212
00:57:42,749 --> 00:57:44,582
Sammy...
1213
00:57:44,584 --> 00:57:45,684
Alex!
1214
00:57:45,686 --> 00:57:47,251
Holy shit, man.
1215
00:57:47,253 --> 00:57:50,187
You know, people think
that you're fucking dead.
1216
00:57:50,189 --> 00:57:51,722
I'm not dead. I'm right here.
1217
00:57:51,724 --> 00:57:53,158
What is going on here?
1218
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:55,760
Thadland.
1219
00:57:55,762 --> 00:57:57,662
It's been going on for quite some time.
1220
00:57:57,664 --> 00:57:59,597
You know, these fucking crazy guys,
1221
00:57:59,599 --> 00:58:01,265
are so much fun, it's amazing.
1222
00:58:01,267 --> 00:58:03,200
God, this is all my fault.
1223
00:58:03,202 --> 00:58:04,769
Yeah. Oh, shit, man.
1224
00:58:04,771 --> 00:58:06,137
Do you want some food? I feel weird.
1225
00:58:06,139 --> 00:58:08,240
- Do you want some?
- No, I...
1226
00:58:08,242 --> 00:58:10,675
Is that?
1227
00:58:10,677 --> 00:58:11,809
Yeah, things got a little
weird between Billy and I.
1228
00:58:11,811 --> 00:58:14,745
You know, uh, he bit me, so uh,
1229
00:58:14,747 --> 00:58:16,847
I'm biting him.
1230
00:58:16,849 --> 00:58:18,950
Jesus, Sammy.
1231
00:58:18,952 --> 00:58:21,687
This, this has to end. Where's Thad?
1232
00:58:21,689 --> 00:58:23,021
I haven't seen Thad in a little while.
1233
00:58:23,023 --> 00:58:24,756
But get this.
1234
00:58:24,758 --> 00:58:26,057
Just yesterday,
1235
00:58:26,059 --> 00:58:27,291
he almost remembered my name.
1236
00:58:27,293 --> 00:58:29,327
- Oh, good.
- He called me, "Biscuit."
1237
00:58:29,329 --> 00:58:31,095
Which, you know, to me is pretty close.
1238
00:58:31,097 --> 00:58:33,265
You know, cause it's like...
1239
00:58:33,267 --> 00:58:35,367
- Sam-my!
- I know, it's...
1240
00:58:35,369 --> 00:58:37,035
- Bis-cuit!
- It's not really that close at all.
1241
00:58:37,037 --> 00:58:38,637
If you think about it,
1242
00:58:38,639 --> 00:58:40,939
and you sound it out.
1243
00:58:40,941 --> 00:58:42,740
Biscuit's like tomato.
1244
00:58:42,742 --> 00:58:44,642
I'm gonna go find Thad. You just enjoy it.
1245
00:58:44,644 --> 00:58:46,546
Biscuit!
1246
00:58:58,726 --> 00:59:01,061
What the fuck.
1247
00:59:02,329 --> 00:59:04,863
Donnie!
1248
00:59:04,865 --> 00:59:05,930
Donnie!
1249
00:59:05,932 --> 00:59:08,735
Hey! Radon, stop the ride!
1250
00:59:09,836 --> 00:59:12,037
It's just that,
1251
00:59:12,039 --> 00:59:14,773
all it would take is one of you
to show me respect as a coach
1252
00:59:14,775 --> 00:59:16,841
and not just your friend and
everyone else would be on board.
1253
00:59:16,843 --> 00:59:19,845
No. It's not like that,
dude. We respect you.
1254
00:59:19,847 --> 00:59:22,213
- Really?
- Hey, Coach Summers, fuck you!
1255
00:59:24,418 --> 00:59:26,954
- Not cool, man!
- Donnie!
1256
00:59:28,055 --> 00:59:28,954
I'm so glad I found you.
1257
00:59:28,956 --> 00:59:32,124
Yeah, Thad, what's with the bracelets?
1258
00:59:32,126 --> 00:59:34,059
You don't like them?
1259
00:59:34,061 --> 00:59:35,660
It's just I asked you not to
make a big deal out of this
1260
00:59:35,662 --> 00:59:38,062
and instead you manufactured
thousands of bracelets
1261
00:59:38,064 --> 00:59:40,064
and handed them out to everyone here.
1262
00:59:40,066 --> 00:59:41,666
You're welcome, bro-beans.
1263
00:59:41,668 --> 00:59:44,337
Hey, Thad. Congrats on all your success.
1264
00:59:49,142 --> 00:59:50,809
Dick Dawg!
1265
00:59:50,811 --> 00:59:52,077
Dick Dawg, get over here.
1266
00:59:52,079 --> 00:59:54,812
I got something you're gonna love. Watch.
1267
00:59:54,814 --> 00:59:56,749
Watch where you're stepping, dude.
1268
00:59:58,052 --> 01:00:00,385
Go ahead. Open it.
1269
01:00:00,387 --> 01:00:02,120
I think I can tell what it is, Thad.
1270
01:00:02,122 --> 01:00:03,988
Open it!
1271
01:00:03,990 --> 01:00:05,858
Open it!
1272
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:15,869
Yeah. Yeah!
1273
01:00:20,374 --> 01:00:22,307
I bought you a guy.
1274
01:00:22,309 --> 01:00:24,209
I can see that.
1275
01:00:24,211 --> 01:00:26,278
Go ahead. Whap his dick around.
1276
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:27,979
Whap, whap.
1277
01:00:27,981 --> 01:00:30,916
I'd rather not, Thad.
1278
01:00:30,918 --> 01:00:32,751
What's the matter, you don't like him?
1279
01:00:32,753 --> 01:00:35,053
No. I do, he, he's great.
1280
01:00:35,055 --> 01:00:36,921
He's already paid for. Whap him.
1281
01:00:36,923 --> 01:00:39,157
Look, I'll do it. Watch.
1282
01:00:39,159 --> 01:00:41,059
Whap. Whap, whap, whap.
1283
01:00:41,061 --> 01:00:42,227
Whap, whap, whap, whap, whap,
1284
01:00:42,229 --> 01:00:44,195
whap, whap, whap, whap, whap, whap,
1285
01:00:44,197 --> 01:00:46,997
whap, whap, whap, whap, whap, whap.
1286
01:00:46,999 --> 01:00:50,468
Whap it. I'll leave you two alone.
1287
01:00:50,470 --> 01:00:52,403
You're welcome, bro-beans.
1288
01:00:52,405 --> 01:00:56,108
- Dick Dawg!
- Have fun, man.
1289
01:00:56,110 --> 01:00:57,908
Sorry about them.
1290
01:00:57,910 --> 01:01:01,245
- I'm Frank.
- I'm Donnie.
1291
01:01:01,247 --> 01:01:03,349
I'm gonna go.
1292
01:01:07,854 --> 01:01:09,488
Coach Daniels!
1293
01:01:09,490 --> 01:01:10,888
So glad you could make it.
1294
01:01:10,890 --> 01:01:11,756
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1295
01:01:11,758 --> 01:01:13,358
But what the hell is this all about?
1296
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,392
Just a friendly little gathering
1297
01:01:15,394 --> 01:01:18,798
where I reveal to the world the
kind of person you really are.
1298
01:01:20,066 --> 01:01:21,867
I'm sorry.
1299
01:01:23,470 --> 01:01:26,271
Like when they steal my hat
1300
01:01:26,273 --> 01:01:29,073
and then laugh at me, it hurts.
1301
01:01:29,075 --> 01:01:32,843
You know, I put on a brave
face, but I'm a real human being.
1302
01:01:32,845 --> 01:01:34,945
Human beings means people.
1303
01:01:34,947 --> 01:01:36,180
Exactly. And like...
1304
01:01:36,182 --> 01:01:38,950
Larry, I need you.
1305
01:01:38,952 --> 01:01:41,986
Alex, come play with me in the bath tub.
1306
01:01:41,988 --> 01:01:43,287
Maybe another time.
1307
01:01:43,289 --> 01:01:45,823
Larry, I need your help right now.
1308
01:01:45,825 --> 01:01:47,392
I need you to round up the whole
team and meet me out front, okay?
1309
01:01:47,394 --> 01:01:48,459
Very funny. Come on, man.
1310
01:01:48,461 --> 01:01:50,463
I'm serious, Larry.
1311
01:01:53,300 --> 01:01:55,800
Coach Summers. This party is over.
1312
01:01:55,802 --> 01:01:57,968
Round 'em up.
1313
01:01:57,970 --> 01:01:59,805
Don't do this, Moran.
1314
01:01:59,807 --> 01:02:01,573
We need you right now, coach.
1315
01:02:01,575 --> 01:02:03,809
Round up this team right now.
1316
01:02:03,811 --> 01:02:05,176
- Man, I...
- Round 'em up!
1317
01:02:05,178 --> 01:02:06,477
- No.
- Round 'em up, Coach Summers!
1318
01:02:06,479 --> 01:02:07,146
- Not you too.
- Round 'em up!
1319
01:02:07,148 --> 01:02:08,946
- Not you too.
- Round 'em up!
1320
01:02:08,948 --> 01:02:10,849
Round 'em up!
1321
01:02:10,851 --> 01:02:12,149
Get out of there!
1322
01:02:12,151 --> 01:02:14,420
Get of there, Coach Summers! Yeah!
1323
01:02:16,590 --> 01:02:19,323
I'll see you out front.
1324
01:02:21,928 --> 01:02:25,264
Mountain goats... Round up!
1325
01:02:27,968 --> 01:02:29,367
Check out this guy.
1326
01:02:29,369 --> 01:02:31,436
He's been asleep for, like, two hours.
1327
01:02:31,438 --> 01:02:33,338
I can't wake him up.
1328
01:02:33,340 --> 01:02:35,472
Holly, where is Mary Jo?
1329
01:02:35,474 --> 01:02:37,508
- She's with Chad.
- Who?
1330
01:02:37,510 --> 01:02:41,512
Chad. You know, like Chadland?
1331
01:02:41,514 --> 01:02:42,847
Right over there.
1332
01:02:44,017 --> 01:02:45,886
Giddy-up!
1333
01:02:47,086 --> 01:02:48,285
To the stables!
1334
01:02:48,287 --> 01:02:50,088
Holy shit!
1335
01:02:52,959 --> 01:02:55,061
Marco!
1336
01:02:56,095 --> 01:02:58,430
Marco!
1337
01:02:58,432 --> 01:03:01,932
I just want to say that in
spite of all the rumors,
1338
01:03:01,934 --> 01:03:04,503
I was not drunk when I
crashed my motorcycle.
1339
01:03:05,972 --> 01:03:08,039
And furthermore...
1340
01:03:15,115 --> 01:03:16,548
You know what?
1341
01:03:16,550 --> 01:03:18,082
That was a lie.
1342
01:03:18,084 --> 01:03:19,651
I was drunk.
1343
01:03:19,653 --> 01:03:22,387
In fact, I'm a little
drunk right now.
1344
01:03:22,389 --> 01:03:23,988
I was hammered
1345
01:03:23,990 --> 01:03:25,390
when I crashed my motorcycle,
1346
01:03:25,392 --> 01:03:27,091
and I was just about to have
1347
01:03:27,093 --> 01:03:29,260
an enchanted moment
1348
01:03:29,262 --> 01:03:31,062
with this girl,
1349
01:03:31,064 --> 01:03:33,932
who happens to be a
very wonderful person.
1350
01:03:33,934 --> 01:03:38,068
So, you can all go fuck yourselves.
1351
01:03:38,070 --> 01:03:40,072
And go Goats.
1352
01:03:41,407 --> 01:03:44,041
Well, alrighty then.
1353
01:03:44,043 --> 01:03:46,544
Let's open it up for
questions, shall we?
1354
01:03:46,546 --> 01:03:49,546
Coach! Coach! Julia King from CAN.
1355
01:03:49,548 --> 01:03:51,249
What can you tell us about
your feelings on Thadland?
1356
01:03:51,251 --> 01:03:52,550
Have you been?
1357
01:03:52,552 --> 01:03:54,452
And can you comment on
Thad Castle's open bashing
1358
01:03:54,454 --> 01:03:55,387
of the late Walt Disney?
1359
01:03:55,389 --> 01:03:57,289
He's called him, and I quote,
1360
01:03:57,291 --> 01:03:58,622
"A short, anti-Semite...
1361
01:03:58,624 --> 01:04:00,492
"with less imagination in his whole
1362
01:04:00,494 --> 01:04:04,461
"Jew-hating body than I have
in the tip of my pee-hole."
1363
01:04:04,463 --> 01:04:05,664
He said "pee-hole?"
1364
01:04:05,666 --> 01:04:06,765
- He did.
- Well, you know,
1365
01:04:06,767 --> 01:04:08,999
I don't think any
of those allegations
1366
01:04:09,001 --> 01:04:10,535
were proven to be true.
1367
01:04:10,537 --> 01:04:12,202
So I don't want to comment on Mr...
1368
01:04:13,407 --> 01:04:16,374
What about the drug use at Thadland?
1369
01:04:16,376 --> 01:04:18,276
Why does Thad Castle hate the French?
1370
01:04:18,278 --> 01:04:20,044
That's the question you idiots have?
1371
01:04:20,046 --> 01:04:21,211
Thadland?
1372
01:04:21,213 --> 01:04:23,247
Ask him about the drinking.
1373
01:04:23,249 --> 01:04:25,216
Ask him about the driving.
1374
01:04:25,218 --> 01:04:27,619
The accident with the little chick.
1375
01:04:27,621 --> 01:04:30,456
Ask him some of this stuff. What?
1376
01:04:35,561 --> 01:04:37,363
Coach!
1377
01:04:44,704 --> 01:04:47,104
Oh, yeah, this is great.
1378
01:04:47,106 --> 01:04:49,673
Can wear you all the way to...
1379
01:04:49,675 --> 01:04:51,075
Sammy!
1380
01:04:51,077 --> 01:04:54,480
Alex! Holy shit, what's up, buddy?
1381
01:04:55,581 --> 01:04:57,182
I really need your help.
1382
01:04:57,184 --> 01:04:58,115
I need you to sneak me
back into the Goat House.
1383
01:04:58,117 --> 01:05:00,151
Why?
1384
01:05:00,153 --> 01:05:02,320
Oh, my God, that's right,
'cause you're banished!
1385
01:05:02,322 --> 01:05:04,655
Hey, everybody, Alex is back!
1386
01:05:04,657 --> 01:05:06,191
Whoo! We gotta keep it down though.
1387
01:05:06,193 --> 01:05:07,492
We gotta keep it down.
1388
01:05:07,494 --> 01:05:08,526
But I can help you out. Follow me.
1389
01:05:08,528 --> 01:05:10,061
Follow me, pal.
1390
01:05:10,063 --> 01:05:11,428
You're not gonna believe this.
1391
01:05:11,430 --> 01:05:14,566
I fucking, I ate basically the whole goat.
1392
01:05:14,568 --> 01:05:16,066
- Did you boil it?
- Oh, yeah.
1393
01:05:16,068 --> 01:05:17,635
Thad is pissed at you.
1394
01:05:17,637 --> 01:05:19,671
He's declared your name a swear word.
1395
01:05:19,673 --> 01:05:22,073
Actually it's pretty cool if you ask me.
1396
01:05:22,075 --> 01:05:23,307
Why is that cool?
1397
01:05:23,309 --> 01:05:25,075
At least he knows your name.
1398
01:05:25,077 --> 01:05:27,278
Harmon, you got a visitor, buddy.
1399
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,646
Alex, you're alive.
1400
01:05:29,648 --> 01:05:31,582
I thought you were dead or something.
1401
01:05:31,584 --> 01:05:34,251
I almost was, thanks to your balloons.
1402
01:05:34,253 --> 01:05:37,155
This drug affects different
people in different ways.
1403
01:05:37,157 --> 01:05:39,224
Me, I grew up on the stuff.
1404
01:05:39,226 --> 01:05:41,026
It was like formula to
me when I was a baby.
1405
01:05:41,028 --> 01:05:42,629
What is it?
1406
01:05:45,432 --> 01:05:47,298
Don't ask yourself a question
1407
01:05:47,300 --> 01:05:49,767
that you don't want the answer to.
1408
01:05:49,769 --> 01:05:52,504
Just go on back up to the
party and enjoy yourself.
1409
01:05:52,506 --> 01:05:55,140
Harmon. What is in your balloons?
1410
01:05:55,142 --> 01:05:56,274
It's shit.
1411
01:05:56,276 --> 01:05:58,776
It's not shit...
1412
01:05:58,778 --> 01:06:00,378
It's jenkum.
1413
01:06:00,380 --> 01:06:02,079
Okay, what the fuck is jenkum?
1414
01:06:02,081 --> 01:06:03,247
- Shit.
- It's not...
1415
01:06:03,249 --> 01:06:04,349
- He said shit again.
- Shit.
1416
01:06:04,351 --> 01:06:05,682
It's poop fumes
1417
01:06:05,684 --> 01:06:07,651
and pee fumes.
1418
01:06:07,653 --> 01:06:09,620
It's very popular in the south.
1419
01:06:09,622 --> 01:06:11,155
See, what I've done here is
1420
01:06:11,157 --> 01:06:12,590
I've rerouted these sewer pipes
1421
01:06:12,592 --> 01:06:14,526
into this steel tank.
1422
01:06:14,528 --> 01:06:16,794
And then whenever anyone
uses the facilities,
1423
01:06:16,796 --> 01:06:18,562
it collects here where
it's allowed to ferment
1424
01:06:18,564 --> 01:06:20,497
at a very high temperature.
1425
01:06:20,499 --> 01:06:23,100
Then it's simply a matter
of filling these balloons
1426
01:06:23,102 --> 01:06:25,470
with the fermented fumes, et voila.
1427
01:06:25,472 --> 01:06:28,472
This stuff will knock
you straight on your ass.
1428
01:06:28,474 --> 01:06:30,108
Which is ironic considering
1429
01:06:30,110 --> 01:06:32,678
that's where it all
started in the first place.
1430
01:06:34,213 --> 01:06:36,180
- Please tell me you're kidding.
- No.
1431
01:06:36,182 --> 01:06:38,349
We've been down here for days
1432
01:06:38,351 --> 01:06:40,484
messing around with different temperatures,
1433
01:06:40,486 --> 01:06:43,254
more poop, less pee, more pee, less poop...
1434
01:06:43,256 --> 01:06:45,189
No, no, no.
1435
01:06:45,191 --> 01:06:47,624
This experiment ends right now.
1436
01:06:47,626 --> 01:06:50,562
I lost two days of my life to this shit!
1437
01:06:50,564 --> 01:06:52,763
And dignity. Stop huffing that!
1438
01:06:52,765 --> 01:06:54,399
Jesus Christ!
1439
01:06:54,401 --> 01:06:55,666
Shut it down, Harmon.
1440
01:06:55,668 --> 01:06:57,836
- No, no, no, what about Thad?
- Forget Thad!
1441
01:06:57,838 --> 01:06:59,236
This is my house.
1442
01:06:59,238 --> 01:07:00,872
And I'm your captain.
1443
01:07:00,874 --> 01:07:02,707
Now shut it down, Harmon.
1444
01:07:02,709 --> 01:07:04,611
Shut it down.
1445
01:07:07,447 --> 01:07:09,416
Consider it done, Captain.
1446
01:07:16,456 --> 01:07:18,356
Have you seen Thad?
1447
01:07:18,358 --> 01:07:21,093
Thad's upstairs.
1448
01:07:59,198 --> 01:08:01,300
Are you an assassin?
1449
01:08:04,204 --> 01:08:06,206
Thad?
1450
01:08:10,309 --> 01:08:13,311
You can't kill me.
1451
01:08:13,313 --> 01:08:15,548
I'm not killable.
1452
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:22,953
I'm not here to kill you.
1453
01:08:22,955 --> 01:08:26,159
I'm here to tell you
that this party is over.
1454
01:08:29,696 --> 01:08:31,428
Guys, I have no time to explain.
1455
01:08:31,430 --> 01:08:32,829
You don't want to be
sucking on those balloons.
1456
01:08:32,831 --> 01:08:33,931
Trust me.
1457
01:08:33,933 --> 01:08:36,234
What balloons?
1458
01:08:36,236 --> 01:08:37,836
These balloons?
1459
01:08:38,905 --> 01:08:40,571
Please stop.
1460
01:08:40,573 --> 01:08:41,972
Thad, stop doing that.
1461
01:08:41,974 --> 01:08:43,809
Thad, stop!
1462
01:08:45,512 --> 01:08:47,514
Thank you.
1463
01:08:49,415 --> 01:08:50,949
Hey, hey.
1464
01:08:50,951 --> 01:08:52,350
Don't let him do that.
1465
01:08:52,352 --> 01:08:53,751
What do you care?
1466
01:08:53,753 --> 01:08:54,953
You got what you wanted.
1467
01:08:54,955 --> 01:08:56,320
The house is safe.
1468
01:08:56,322 --> 01:08:58,623
I do care, all right?
1469
01:08:58,625 --> 01:08:59,690
And I don't know if what happened
1470
01:08:59,692 --> 01:09:02,360
between us was real or not,
1471
01:09:02,362 --> 01:09:04,361
but I meant every word I said to you.
1472
01:09:04,363 --> 01:09:06,597
Then prove it.
1473
01:09:06,599 --> 01:09:07,899
Hey!
1474
01:09:07,901 --> 01:09:09,400
Enough!
1475
01:09:09,402 --> 01:09:12,502
This is about me! Not you a-holes!
1476
01:09:12,504 --> 01:09:15,907
Okay, let's talk about you.
1477
01:09:15,909 --> 01:09:18,976
How about we start with
what the hell is going on.
1478
01:09:18,978 --> 01:09:20,278
You were a number one
1479
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:22,547
draft pick in the NFL.
1480
01:09:22,549 --> 01:09:24,582
Why aren't you at practice?
1481
01:09:24,584 --> 01:09:26,885
And what do you even want with my house?
1482
01:09:33,793 --> 01:09:35,293
Let's not do this again, Senor.
1483
01:09:35,295 --> 01:09:36,927
Officer, I carry in my possession
1484
01:09:36,929 --> 01:09:38,328
information which may interest you
1485
01:09:38,330 --> 01:09:40,632
and your tiny little benevolent fund.
1486
01:09:40,634 --> 01:09:41,833
I didn't catch any of that.
1487
01:09:41,835 --> 01:09:43,670
Look at the papers!
1488
01:09:52,379 --> 01:09:53,444
I need all available units
1489
01:09:53,446 --> 01:09:56,346
to Blue Mountain State
Campus. All available units.
1490
01:09:56,348 --> 01:09:57,949
There goes the department booze cruise.
1491
01:09:57,951 --> 01:09:59,650
Argh!
1492
01:09:59,652 --> 01:10:01,653
Thad, we were teammates for three years.
1493
01:10:01,655 --> 01:10:04,422
You've got to trust me. What is happening?
1494
01:10:04,424 --> 01:10:07,624
This may come as a surprise to you,
1495
01:10:07,626 --> 01:10:11,796
but I'm not the super smart Alan
Einstein that everyone thinks I am.
1496
01:10:11,798 --> 01:10:13,998
No. Don't say that.
1497
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:16,400
If I told you the truth, you'd
think I was the biggest idiot.
1498
01:10:16,402 --> 01:10:18,470
Never.
1499
01:10:23,343 --> 01:10:24,941
I'm not going pro.
1500
01:10:24,943 --> 01:10:26,711
What?
1501
01:10:26,713 --> 01:10:28,578
Wait, I saw the draft, Thad.
1502
01:10:28,580 --> 01:10:29,913
We all saw the draft.
1503
01:10:29,915 --> 01:10:32,050
Now you're mad at me. I
knew you'd get mad at me.
1504
01:10:32,052 --> 01:10:33,918
- I'm not mad at you.
- Yes, you are.
1505
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:35,653
The draft was real,
1506
01:10:35,655 --> 01:10:37,922
and the contract was real,
1507
01:10:37,924 --> 01:10:40,858
but then,
1508
01:10:40,860 --> 01:10:42,793
I bought a zoo...
1509
01:10:42,795 --> 01:10:44,861
And I was messing around
with that big animal
1510
01:10:44,863 --> 01:10:46,931
with the horn growing out of its face.
1511
01:10:46,933 --> 01:10:48,833
A rhinoceros?
1512
01:10:48,835 --> 01:10:50,635
Sure.
1513
01:10:50,637 --> 01:10:52,970
And the stupid thing stabbed
me with his stupid horn.
1514
01:10:52,972 --> 01:10:54,471
My coach found out
1515
01:10:54,473 --> 01:10:55,873
and they canceled my contract.
1516
01:10:55,875 --> 01:10:57,677
No, no, no, stop stop stop!
1517
01:11:00,647 --> 01:11:02,846
What?
1518
01:11:02,848 --> 01:11:04,614
How long have you known about this?
1519
01:11:04,616 --> 01:11:06,883
Since the day before you
and I met at that restaurant.
1520
01:11:06,885 --> 01:11:08,687
Wha...
1521
01:11:10,423 --> 01:11:12,824
So this, this book...
1522
01:11:12,826 --> 01:11:16,093
This, this, this dream, it was all a lie?
1523
01:11:16,095 --> 01:11:20,364
I drew that the night
before I gave it to you.
1524
01:11:20,366 --> 01:11:23,834
I imagined a party in my honor.
1525
01:11:23,836 --> 01:11:26,104
A place that was safe and warm
1526
01:11:26,106 --> 01:11:28,806
and I'd never ever ever ever leave.
1527
01:11:43,522 --> 01:11:45,123
You motherfucker!
1528
01:11:45,125 --> 01:11:46,023
What the...
1529
01:11:46,025 --> 01:11:47,557
Holy shit!
1530
01:11:47,559 --> 01:11:48,993
Actually, that's a lie too.
1531
01:11:48,995 --> 01:11:51,762
I didn't draw those pictures.
1532
01:11:51,764 --> 01:11:53,631
I traced them.
1533
01:12:13,553 --> 01:12:15,886
So you knew your contract was void?
1534
01:12:15,888 --> 01:12:17,154
How did you pay for all this?
1535
01:12:17,156 --> 01:12:19,056
Checks.
1536
01:12:19,058 --> 01:12:21,661
But they weren't real. I
just ordered them online.
1537
01:12:25,531 --> 01:12:27,931
You have no money?
1538
01:12:27,933 --> 01:12:29,766
Who else knows about this?
1539
01:12:29,768 --> 01:12:32,736
Just me and Dick Dawg
1540
01:12:32,738 --> 01:12:34,471
and the Dean.
1541
01:12:34,473 --> 01:12:36,140
Olivares knows about
this? How does he know?
1542
01:12:36,142 --> 01:12:37,441
Dick Dawg told him.
1543
01:12:37,443 --> 01:12:38,543
Why would he do that, Thad?
1544
01:12:38,545 --> 01:12:40,077
Because I told him to.
1545
01:12:40,079 --> 01:12:42,078
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Are you gonna
1546
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:43,847
help me? I'm in real deep shit.
1547
01:12:43,849 --> 01:12:46,184
I started my own sneaker
line, for Christ sake.
1548
01:12:46,186 --> 01:12:48,218
I made my own Hall of Fame jacket.
1549
01:12:48,220 --> 01:12:50,156
I can't face them.
1550
01:12:51,790 --> 01:12:53,793
I'd rather be dead.
1551
01:12:56,763 --> 01:12:58,765
Is that what this is all about?
1552
01:13:00,599 --> 01:13:02,099
This?
1553
01:13:02,101 --> 01:13:03,601
- This drawing.
- Tracing.
1554
01:13:03,603 --> 01:13:06,703
Tracing in your book.
1555
01:13:06,705 --> 01:13:08,573
It's you?
1556
01:13:10,210 --> 01:13:12,044
In heaven.
1557
01:13:13,679 --> 01:13:15,111
- No. No way.
- Yes.
1558
01:13:15,113 --> 01:13:16,780
- Absolutely not.
- Yes.
1559
01:13:16,782 --> 01:13:18,248
- No, I'm not doing it. No.
- Yes, you have to!
1560
01:13:18,250 --> 01:13:20,083
- I'm not doing it.
- That's the deal! You have to help me!
1561
01:13:20,085 --> 01:13:22,185
I bought you this house!
1562
01:13:22,187 --> 01:13:24,055
Technically you didn't!
1563
01:13:24,057 --> 01:13:25,623
But goddammit!
1564
01:13:26,759 --> 01:13:27,792
Shhh!
1565
01:13:27,794 --> 01:13:29,060
Thad?
1566
01:13:29,062 --> 01:13:30,660
Yes.
1567
01:13:30,662 --> 01:13:33,129
- If I help you out of this...
- Yes?
1568
01:13:33,131 --> 01:13:35,099
All debts are paid. I owe you nothing.
1569
01:13:35,101 --> 01:13:37,103
Deal.
1570
01:13:39,839 --> 01:13:41,905
All right. Shit!
1571
01:13:41,907 --> 01:13:42,974
I got a plan.
1572
01:13:42,976 --> 01:13:44,574
Shit.
1573
01:13:44,576 --> 01:13:45,877
I'm gonna need Dick Dawg.
1574
01:13:45,879 --> 01:13:48,279
Shit! Goddamn it!
1575
01:13:48,281 --> 01:13:50,483
Shit.
1576
01:13:53,253 --> 01:13:55,455
Ohhh!
1577
01:14:05,197 --> 01:14:07,198
Well!
1578
01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:09,065
- Jesus Christ!
- If it isn't the guy I don't remember.
1579
01:14:09,067 --> 01:14:11,302
Oh, God, why are you naked?
1580
01:14:11,304 --> 01:14:13,003
Wait, what's on your head?
1581
01:14:13,005 --> 01:14:14,838
Oh, I'm wearing the last guy
who tried to mess with me.
1582
01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:15,972
What the fuck do you think you're
1583
01:14:15,974 --> 01:14:18,109
doing down here in my lab, pal?
1584
01:14:18,111 --> 01:14:20,043
None of your business, pal.
1585
01:14:20,045 --> 01:14:22,078
None of my fucking business?
1586
01:14:22,080 --> 01:14:24,748
Well, down here...
1587
01:14:24,750 --> 01:14:28,653
This is fucking Sammy's world, pal.
1588
01:14:28,655 --> 01:14:30,755
Who is Sammy?
1589
01:14:32,191 --> 01:14:34,758
It's me! I'm Sammy!
1590
01:14:34,760 --> 01:14:37,294
You listen to me, and
you listen to me good...
1591
01:14:37,296 --> 01:14:39,297
you touch another valve on
my fucking jug right here,
1592
01:14:39,299 --> 01:14:40,830
you're fucking going down, buddy.
1593
01:14:40,832 --> 01:14:42,566
- Oh, no, no. Wait wait. Is that?
- Yeah.
1594
01:14:42,568 --> 01:14:43,935
- Ok, um. You don't wanna?
- Don't you...
1595
01:14:43,937 --> 01:14:45,669
- You don't wanna...
- Eh, no...
1596
01:14:45,671 --> 01:14:47,171
- Oh, I shouldn't...
- Hey, I swear...
1597
01:14:47,173 --> 01:14:47,939
- If I were you...
- If I were to do that?
1598
01:14:47,941 --> 01:14:49,806
Oh, wow!
1599
01:14:49,808 --> 01:14:51,775
Whoo! I don't know if
that was such a good idea.
1600
01:14:55,647 --> 01:14:59,050
Oh, God, I really don't
wanna fight you, okay, man?
1601
01:15:04,189 --> 01:15:06,893
So, the plan...
1602
01:15:07,960 --> 01:15:09,327
- What do I do again?
- Oh, my God!
1603
01:15:09,329 --> 01:15:11,695
This is the police, open up!
1604
01:15:11,697 --> 01:15:13,096
- Whoa! God!
- Whoa!
1605
01:15:13,098 --> 01:15:14,164
Shots fired!
1606
01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:16,132
Oh, God! Oh!
1607
01:15:20,772 --> 01:15:22,373
Christ, you keep that thing loaded?
1608
01:15:22,375 --> 01:15:24,342
Why would I have an unloaded gun?
1609
01:15:24,344 --> 01:15:26,110
Mama!
1610
01:15:34,019 --> 01:15:35,086
Oh, yeah!
1611
01:15:35,088 --> 01:15:37,288
Ahhh!
1612
01:15:37,290 --> 01:15:39,090
Ahhh! Hey!
1613
01:15:39,092 --> 01:15:40,958
Oh, right in the eyes.
Look, we really don't
1614
01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:42,827
have time to fight right now.
1615
01:15:42,829 --> 01:15:43,927
Oh, okay, yeah, you don't
wanna fucking fight this?
1616
01:15:45,031 --> 01:15:46,029
Ugh!
1617
01:15:46,031 --> 01:15:48,034
Oh, gosh!
1618
01:15:50,068 --> 01:15:52,002
Ugh!
1619
01:15:52,004 --> 01:15:53,904
You're showing a tremendous
amount of heart right now.
1620
01:15:53,906 --> 01:15:55,306
I admire your tenacity, I really do.
1621
01:15:55,308 --> 01:15:57,941
But, every pipe in this
place is about to explode.
1622
01:15:57,943 --> 01:15:59,275
You need to just give
up already, all right?
1623
01:15:59,277 --> 01:16:00,977
Get outta here. Jesus!
1624
01:16:00,979 --> 01:16:03,114
Okay, okay. How's this
for a fucking explosion?
1625
01:16:04,651 --> 01:16:06,316
Get your dick off my back!
1626
01:16:06,318 --> 01:16:07,885
Get your back off my dick!
1627
01:16:14,826 --> 01:16:16,726
What the fuck was that?
1628
01:16:16,728 --> 01:16:17,828
Oh, God!
1629
01:16:17,830 --> 01:16:19,329
Oh, no!
1630
01:16:19,331 --> 01:16:22,432
Oh, what the fuck, man! Holy shit!
1631
01:16:22,434 --> 01:16:24,235
Are you sure you wanna
go through with this?
1632
01:16:24,237 --> 01:16:26,038
It's the only way!
1633
01:16:30,410 --> 01:16:32,709
Make sure you tell people my story.
1634
01:16:32,711 --> 01:16:34,878
I don't think that'll be a problem!
1635
01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:36,682
Let's go!
1636
01:16:44,057 --> 01:16:46,356
Oh! Get off me.
1637
01:16:46,358 --> 01:16:48,825
What's happening?
1638
01:16:48,827 --> 01:16:51,028
Hey, you gotta get outta
here, man, right now.
1639
01:16:51,030 --> 01:16:53,329
I don't wanna die fighting
a naked guy. Come on!
1640
01:16:53,331 --> 01:16:55,099
Truce!
1641
01:16:55,101 --> 01:16:58,034
All right, truce. Hey, you
fight like a goddamn champion.
1642
01:16:58,036 --> 01:16:59,069
Oh, shoot, look at that. Shit!
1643
01:16:59,071 --> 01:17:01,072
What?
1644
01:17:46,986 --> 01:17:49,021
Get back!
1645
01:18:09,776 --> 01:18:11,711
Holy shit.
1646
01:18:17,250 --> 01:18:19,949
The lab.
1647
01:18:19,951 --> 01:18:21,753
The beer.
1648
01:18:23,255 --> 01:18:27,490
Alex, your house.
1649
01:18:27,492 --> 01:18:29,327
It was just a house.
1650
01:18:35,101 --> 01:18:40,203
I did it! I did it! I win! I am the coach!
1651
01:18:40,205 --> 01:18:43,141
The house is gone!
1652
01:18:45,411 --> 01:18:49,012
It's okay, captain. I got this one.
1653
01:18:49,014 --> 01:18:52,917
Dean Olivares, you need
some air. Here. Deep breaths.
1654
01:18:56,022 --> 01:18:57,520
Got it? Everything?
1655
01:18:57,522 --> 01:18:59,088
Julia King?
1656
01:18:59,090 --> 01:19:00,457
Thank you, good man.
1657
01:19:00,459 --> 01:19:03,429
My pleasure. Good day to you, Sir.
1658
01:19:04,863 --> 01:19:06,497
Hello, there. Hi.
1659
01:19:06,499 --> 01:19:08,032
Could you tell us about
what happened here today?
1660
01:19:08,034 --> 01:19:09,400
I...
1661
01:19:18,210 --> 01:19:19,843
Baby and baby...
1662
01:19:19,845 --> 01:19:21,412
Hey, baby. Hey, baby.
1663
01:19:21,414 --> 01:19:24,282
Hey, Wait. Where's Thad?
1664
01:19:27,420 --> 01:19:29,854
He, uh, he didn't make it.
1665
01:19:29,856 --> 01:19:31,288
So sad!
1666
01:19:31,290 --> 01:19:33,324
At least he went out the way he wanted to.
1667
01:19:33,326 --> 01:19:34,557
Partying like a mother fucker,
1668
01:19:34,559 --> 01:19:35,626
ain't nothin' wrong with that.
1669
01:19:35,628 --> 01:19:37,194
Blaze of glory.
1670
01:19:37,196 --> 01:19:39,296
The man was a hero.
1671
01:19:39,298 --> 01:19:41,398
He was a legend.
1672
01:19:41,400 --> 01:19:43,967
To Thad!
1673
01:19:43,969 --> 01:19:45,570
To Thad!
1674
01:20:50,568 --> 01:20:53,069
Then why can't I taste any?
1675
01:20:53,071 --> 01:20:54,471
You telling me there's lime in this,
1676
01:20:54,473 --> 01:20:56,239
I can't taste a goddamn ounce of it!
1677
01:20:56,241 --> 01:20:58,175
Now get back there!
1678
01:20:58,177 --> 01:21:00,043
You go back there and
you tell that bartender,
1679
01:21:00,045 --> 01:21:02,145
I need lime in all my mojitos!
1680
01:21:02,147 --> 01:21:04,480
Go! Run!
1681
01:21:04,482 --> 01:21:07,484
Oh, wait. Wait, never mind!
1682
01:21:07,486 --> 01:21:09,720
I can taste the lime now!
1683
01:21:09,722 --> 01:21:12,523
It was hidden under all the mint!
1684
01:21:12,525 --> 01:21:15,294
Come back, I can taste it!
1685
01:22:38,443 --> 01:22:40,610
Sammy!
1686
01:22:40,612 --> 01:22:42,346
Sammy, wake up. Come
on, man. Come back to me.
1687
01:22:42,348 --> 01:22:44,648
Sammy, come on, buddy. Wake up!
1688
01:22:44,650 --> 01:22:46,050
Dick Dawg?
1689
01:22:46,052 --> 01:22:48,651
It's me, pal. Yeah, you're gonna be okay.
1690
01:22:48,653 --> 01:22:50,520
Were you saying my name before?
1691
01:22:50,522 --> 01:22:53,657
What? No. No. Nope.
1692
01:22:53,659 --> 01:22:56,459
You did. You said Sammy.
1693
01:22:56,461 --> 01:22:58,494
Whatever you say, Chief.
1694
01:22:58,496 --> 01:23:00,530
No. Sammy.
1695
01:23:00,532 --> 01:23:03,367
- You said Sammy.
- You're okay, sport. All right?
1696
01:23:03,369 --> 01:23:04,767
Just lay back down, bucko.
1697
01:23:04,769 --> 01:23:08,204
- Say Sammy. Say Sammy.
- Shh!
1698
01:23:08,206 --> 01:23:10,541
You said Sammy. I fucking heard you.
1699
01:23:10,543 --> 01:23:11,608
You're gonna be okay, Tiger.
1700
01:23:11,610 --> 01:23:13,577
Sammy!
1701
01:23:13,579 --> 01:23:15,279
- Sammy.
- I'm not actually saying it.
1702
01:23:15,281 --> 01:23:18,181
- You said Sammy!
- That's just you moving my lips.
1703
01:23:18,183 --> 01:23:20,617
Dick Dawg, say it, you
fucking piece of shit.
1704
01:23:20,619 --> 01:23:22,218
You inhaled a little too much shit fumes.
1705
01:23:22,220 --> 01:23:24,490
You fucking asshole!