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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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GARY: Ever had
one of those nights
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that starts out like any other, but ends
up being the best night of your life?
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GARY: It was June the 22nd,
1990, our final day of school.
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There was Oliver Chamberlain, Peter Page,
Steven Prince, Andy Knightley and me.
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They called me The King.
Because my name's Gary King.
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Ollie was funny, he fancied himself as a bit
of a player, but really, he was all mouth.
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We called him O-Man
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because he had a birthmark on his
forehead that looked like a six.
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He loved it.
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Pete was the baby
of the group.
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He wasn't the kind of kid we'd usually
hang outwith, but he was good for a laugh.
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And he was absolutely minted.
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Steve was a pretty cool guy. We
jammed together, chased the girls.
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I think he saw us as rivals.
[CHUCKLES] Sweet, really.
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And Andy.
Andy was my wingman.
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The one guy I could rely
on to back me up.
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He loved me, and I'm not being
funny, but I loved him, too.
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There was nothing we were
gonna miss about school-
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Maybe Mr. Shepherd.
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He was definitely
one of the good guys.
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He used to ask me what I
wanted to do with my life.
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I told him I just wanted
to have a good time.
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He thought that was funny.
It wasn't meant to be.
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Not that night.
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Newton Haven was our hometown.
Our playground, our universe.
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And that night it was the
site of a heroic quest.
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The aim? To conquer
The Golden Mile.
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Twelve pubs along a legendary
path of alcoholic indulgence.
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There was The First Post,
The Old Familiar,
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The Famous Cock, The Cross
Hands, The Good Companions,
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The Trusty Servant, The Two Headed
Dog, The Mermaid, The Beehive,
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The King's Head,
The Hole in the Wall...
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All before reaching our
destiny, The World's End.
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We took my car into town.
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I called it The Beast
because she was pretty hairy.
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And so, our journey into manhood began.
[RINGS DOORBELL]
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We were off.
We didn't waste any time.
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We hit pub one
and we hit it hard.
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There was drinking, there was
fun, there was controversy,
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there were ladies, there
were shots, there was drama,
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and of course,
there was drinking.
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By pub five,
we were feeling invincible
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and decided to purchase
some herbal refreshment
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from a man we called
The Reverend Green.
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Pint six put O-Man out of commission,
so we carried on without him.
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Good thing, I bumped into
his sister in the next pub,
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we went into the disableds
and I bumped into her again.
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Sam tagged along for a while,
but then I had to let her go.
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I had another date that night
and her name was Amber.
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Nine pints in and it was us
against the world.
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Things got mental
in The Beehive,
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so we repaired to
the bowls club
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or as we liked to call it, The Smokehouse,
which is when it all went fuck up.
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Everyone got para and Pete chucked
a whitey, so we had to bench him.
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In the end, we blew off the last
three pubs and headed for the hills.
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I remember sitting up there,
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blood on my knuckles, beer down
my shirt, sick on my shoes,
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seeing the orange glow
of a new dawn break
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and knowing in my heart, life
would never feel this good again.
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And you know what?
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[CHUCKLES]
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It never did.
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GROUP LEADER: Thank you, Gary.
That was very enlightening.
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Would anyone like to add anything
or maybe challenge Gary?
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Are you disappointed?
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About what? That you didn't
make it to The World's End?
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[MAN COUGHING]
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No.
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PASTOR: Just what is it
that you want to do?
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PETER FONDA:
We want to be free!
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We want to be free to do
what we want to do!
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And we want to get loaded. And
we want to have a good time.
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And that's what
we're going to do.
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We're going to have
a good time.
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We're going to have a party.
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[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
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PASTOR: Just what is it
that you want to do?
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PETER FONDA: And we want to get loaded.
And we want to have a good time.
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She's a beauty.
Yeah, but she's no Beast.
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Hello, Peter.
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Jesus! Gary?
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The once and future King.
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Were you outside my
house this morning?
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No.
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I could have sworn
I saw you on my street.
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I've never been
to Bishop's Gardens.
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How you doing, man?
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I'm well. You?
Yeah, never better.
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How is, uh...
Vanessa?
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00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,005
No. Your wife?
Vanessa.
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Yeah. How's she?
She's good.
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00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,567
Have you had sex yet?
We have two children.
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Ooh, twice. Get you, fuck machine.
[LAUGHS]
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We haven't changed, have we?
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What is he doing here?
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It's all right, Dad.
We're fine.
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Hi, Mr. P.
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So, Gary,
how can I help you?
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He looks well. Are you
looking to buy a car?
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Uh... No.
I'm afraid the end is nigh.
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What?
The World's End.
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What do you mean?
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You know what I mean. One night.
Five guys. Twelve pubs.
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Let battle commence.
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You want to try
that again?
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Yeah, isn't that something
you've always wanted?
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Not particularly. No.
Look. Peter.
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We didn't make it before, but this time, we're
gonna see it through to the bitter end.
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Or lager end.
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We?
Yeah, the whole gang.
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Even Andy? Why wouldn't
Andy be coming?
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Well, I thought that after the accident...
Not an issue. He's in.
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What we wanna
know is are you?
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I'd have to check
with Vanessa.
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Who's Vanessa?
My wife.
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Since when have you had to
check with your wife?
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Since we got married.
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Oh, come on, man,
don't you miss it?
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The laughs, the
camaraderie, the fights,
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the hangovers so fierce it feels
like your head is full of ants.
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Maybe the first two.
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It begins.
What's your new number?
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Same one I've had
for 10 years.
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Yeah. What's that one?
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This entire row here, they'll all have
dormer windows above the front elevation.
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Who's the helmet
without an helmet?
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[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
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That's Gary King.
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Knock, knock.
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What are you
doing here, Gary?
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You're supposed to say,
"Who's there?"
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I can see who's there.
It's you.
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[CHUCKLES] I like what you've done
with the place. Bit draughty.
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How's Selina?
We divorced 10 years ago.
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Yeah, I know, just
wondered how she was.
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She's doing very well,
apparently.
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00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,771
Have you got anyone
else on the go?
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00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,447
Yeah, I do, as it happens. She's a
fitness instructor. Twenty-six.
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00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,245
Pedophile. I'm kidding.
I'd love to meet her sometime.
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00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:11,850
No. Why are you here?
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Haven't you heard? We're getting
the band back together.
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I'm not your
bass player anymore.
144
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,762
No, I mean we're getting
the boys back together.
145
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,444
We can get the band back
together as well if you want.
146
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,848
No, we can't. You sold
my guitar to buy drugs.
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I've always wondered, what's
that thing over the door called?
148
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That's a lintel.
149
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So, the plan is, we're going
to go back to Newton Haven,
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we are gonna do
The Golden Mile
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and this time, we are gonna
make it to The World's End.
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Everybody's in.
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What, even Andy?
154
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[CHUCKLES] Oh, you better
believe it, big balls.
155
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Andy is going drinking with you?
With us.
156
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Think about it, go back to the
old town, sink a few pints...
157
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Twelve pints.
Yeah.
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00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,008
Twelve pints is insane.
[CHUCKLES] I know!
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What is this
all about, Gary?
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00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,841
It's about closure,
you know.
161
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Why should getting older affect
something as important as friendship?
162
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,964
A lot's changed since then, Oliver.
Right.
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This is our chance
to take stock.
164
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A stock take?
You make it sound so much fun.
165
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,042
Come on, O-Man. Isn't that
something you'd like?
166
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,521
What I'd really like is for you
to take your DMs off the sofa.
167
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,604
Look. If you're worried about
me, don't be. All right?
168
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,763
I'm here to tell you that Gary
King is back on the horse.
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00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,650
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're back on the horse?
170
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:22,767
No, I mean
I'm back on the bike.
171
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,006
What is bike?
What do you mean?
172
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What is bike slang for?
Bicycle.
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I'm lost.
Don't be.
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Okay.
Listen.
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This is our chance to finally
finish what we started.
176
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Come on, man,
it'll be fucking mental!
177
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,404
I think we're all done.
So...
178
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,925
How do you like
the property?
179
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,923
Yeah. It's amazing.
Amazing location.
180
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,684
Fantastic.
Fantastic aspects.
181
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,525
It's just... It's just a little
bit out of our price range.
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He'll knock some off for you.
What's it down for?
183
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,409
1.2 million.
Fuck off!
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00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,481
[SIGHS]
185
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,089
You have my card.
186
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,288
Gary, WTF?
187
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:56,850
It's good to see you,
too, O-Man.
188
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,490
Please don't call me O-Man.
Sure.
189
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,403
Hey, how's your sister?
She's fine.
190
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:01,606
She talk about me?
No.
191
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,444
So, Friday, we'll all
go down together.
192
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,931
Make a road trip of it,
I'll drive.
193
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,520
Don't think I can. I think I've
got a doctor's appointment.
194
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,205
Yeah, you do.
With Dr. Ink!
195
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,371
You know, Dr. Ink?
Yeah. "Drink." I get it.
196
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,245
Come on. It wouldn't be the
same without the O-Man.
197
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,287
Jesus.
198
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:21,251
You can see the guys, see how they're doing.
Tell them how you're doing.
199
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:23,800
You never know, you might
make it to the end this time.
200
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,081
And Andy's definitely coming?
Yeah.
201
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,646
Andy Knightley?
Totes.
202
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:32,882
And you convinced him how?
203
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,850
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
204
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,088
Mr. Knightley.
Felicity.
205
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,929
You have a friend
here to see you.
206
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,091
No, I don't.
207
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:46,886
[CHUCKLES]
208
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,651
This is a bit grown up, isn't it?
Yup.
209
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,006
Saw the boys the other day.
Mmm-hmm.
210
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,243
O-Man, Stevie-Baby,
the Petertron.
211
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,522
Yeah, I remember the names of
our childhood friends, Gary.
212
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,683
We had ourselves
a little idea.
213
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:05,807
Did you now?
214
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,450
Yeah. We're going to go
back to Newton Haven.
215
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,764
Why? For some
unfinished business.
216
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,131
That's a joke, right?
217
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:19,006
Five guys. Twelve pubs. Fifty pints.
Sixty pints.
218
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,969
[LAUGHS] Steady on,
you fucking alky.
219
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,242
I haven't had a drink
for 16 years, Gary.
220
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,209
You must be thirsty then.
[SIGHS]
221
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,523
We can go back, see the guys, chew the
fat, it'll be just like it always was,
222
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,444
except this time we're going to
finish this thing once and for all.
223
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,171
You have a very selective
memory, Gary. Thanks.
224
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,890
You remember
the Friday nights.
225
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,086
I remember the
Monday mornings.
226
00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,242
Yeah, that's why we're
going back on a Friday.
227
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,206
[SIGHS] Why do you think none of
us live in Newton Haven anymore?
228
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,847
I don't know. Because it's a black hole.
It's boring.
229
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,684
It always was
and it always will be.
230
00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,127
It's only boring
because we're not there.
231
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:53,204
It's pointless arguing with you.
Exactly. So come.
232
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,921
I'm picking everybody up from High
Wycombe station, Friday, 3:00 sharp.
233
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,001
No, Gary.
234
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,401
Oh, God, why? Have you got
to check with your missus?
235
00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,802
No, actually, I don't have
to check with my missus.
236
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,284
What are you doing?
I'm showing you the door.
237
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,482
Is it a door?
it doesn't have a lintel.
238
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,689
And it's glass. So is it a
window or is it a door?
239
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:17,890
Maybe it's a windoor.
[CHUCKLES] You can have that.
240
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,291
Please leave, Gary.
241
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,281
[SIGHS]
242
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,408
All right. All right.
243
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,847
£600, wasn't it?
244
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,801
Oh, um, I thought you should know.
What?
245
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,091
Mum died.
246
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,208
When?
Couple of weeks ago.
247
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,323
The big cancer.
248
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,681
[SIGHS]
249
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,361
I'm sorry.
250
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:50,006
She just always really
liked you, you know.
251
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,441
Got me thinking
about the old days.
252
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,887
Particularly that night, you
know, because we were so happy.
253
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,611
And, you know, I love
the boys like brothers,
254
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:03,730
but when all's said and done,
you're the best friend I ever had.
255
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,687
It was good to
see you, mate.
256
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:20,966
Pete?
257
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,804
Steven. Thank God.
258
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,723
I had a horrible feeling I was
going to be the only one here.
259
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,451
I reckon that's not the last horrible
feeling you're gonna have today, mate.
260
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:28,646
This can't be happening.
Can it?
261
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,563
You said it. What the
hell are we doing here?
262
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,085
What we always did.
263
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,811
Follow Gary King into
almost certain oblivion.
264
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,086
Hello, Steven.
265
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,286
You all right, mate?
266
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:38,805
Pete. Hi, mate.
267
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,163
Didn't we decide to stop calling him
Fearless Leader somewhere around 1992?
268
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,446
Old habits die hard.
269
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,010
They'll be putting that
on Gary's tombstone.
270
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,764
No, they won't.
You know he'll outlive us all.
271
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:48,490
That'd be funny
if it wasn't true.
272
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,449
Hang on a sec.
What?
273
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,649
I'm just trying to decide which of
us is the biggest idiot for coming.
274
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,722
[WHISTLING]
275
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,366
Maybe he had an accident.
Oh, sorry, Andy.
276
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,761
Sorry. No,no,no. It's fine.
277
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,046
I think Gary having
an accident
278
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,805
would actually be the best outcome
for all of us, including Gary.
279
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,650
[HORN HONKING]
280
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,605
Unbelievable.
[TIRES SQUEALING]
281
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:18,600
[LAUGHS]
282
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:20,521
Oh, yes.
283
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,524
Look at these cunts.
284
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,045
You're late.
No, I'm not.
285
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,646
Yeah, you are. You said 3:00.
It's almost 4:00.
286
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,131
Yeah, 3 for 4.
287
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,043
You know your problem, Gary?
You're never wrong.
288
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,167
How is that a problem?
289
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,083
I can't believe you bought
another Granada Mark ll.
290
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:34,161
What do you mean?
291
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,811
This looks exactly like
the car I sold you in 1989.
292
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:39,804
This is the car you sold me in 1989.
Best 300 quid I ever spent.
293
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,291
This is The Beast?
Yeah.
294
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,768
Pretty much. I mean, she's
had a bit of work done.
295
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,969
I had to replace the brakes,
suspension, exhaust, seats, wheels,
296
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:50,362
paneling, carburetor, manifold, the whole
engine, really, mirrors, headlamps.
297
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,920
Other than that,
she's the same old motor.
298
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,331
You could almost
say an antique.
299
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:58,644
Well, then let's get this
antique on the roadshow.
300
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,245
[BELLS TOLLING]
301
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,208
Come on, you bellends.
We're going to be late.
302
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,610
And we're back.
Just like the Five Musketeers.
303
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,325
Three Musketeers,
isn't it?
304
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:12,811
Four if you count
D'Artagnan.
305
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,803
Well, nobody knows how many there
were, really, do they, Pete?
306
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,120
I mean,
history's a sketchbook.
307
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,170
You do know that The Three
Musketeers is a fiction, right?
308
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,287
Written by Alexandre Dumas?
309
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:22,169
A lot of people are saying that
about the Bible these days.
310
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,203
What, that it was written by
Alexandre Dumas? [CHUCKLES]
311
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,487
Don't be daft, Steve,
it was written by Jesus.
312
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,523
Oh. Anyway, five
sounds much better.
313
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,965
I think they missed a trick
only having three.
314
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,930
'Cause you'd have five, then two could've
died and they'd still have three left.
315
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,923
Are we there yet?
Let's do this!
316
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,209
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
317
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,371
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER STEREO]
[SINGING]
318
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,964
Soup Dragons!
I remember this one.
319
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,645
I put this on a tape
for you, didn't I?
320
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,801
Yeah, this is it.
321
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,963
This is the tape?
Yeah, yeah! Look, look.
322
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,682
Where did you find it?
it was in the tape player.
323
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,326
Oh, look. Is anyone hungry?
324
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,401
[GROANS]
325
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,728
I need a piss actually.
[HORNS HONKING]
326
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:20,920
This is a long piss.
327
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,648
If it is a piss.
328
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,200
Might be a little...
Poo.
329
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,725
How is that a poo?
330
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:31,481
Still work for your old man, Pete?
Yeah. I'm a partner now.
331
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:32,561
You?
332
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:36,645
Yeah, started my own firm in '98.
Got bought out in '05.
333
00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,484
I'm happier, though.
It's less stress.
334
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,045
Ollie?
Property.
335
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,602
I co-manage a boutique estate
agency in North London.
336
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,806
Very competitive.
337
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,764
Is it family law you're in, Andy?
Corporate.
338
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,046
Does anyone know
what Gary's doing?
339
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,929
He's playing Need For Speed.
Over there.
340
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,287
Come on, come on,
come on!
341
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,361
He hasn't changed, has he?
342
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:59,330
I don't know. He did finally
pay me back that £600.
343
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,604
Really? He borrowed £200 off me.
And me.
344
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,363
ANDY: I can't believe it.
I can't believe you'd do that!
345
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:09,841
Oh! Of course I can.
346
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,849
It's just robbing
Peter to pay Paul.
347
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,602
No, I borrowed it from Peter to pay you.
I still owe Paul. [LAUGHS]
348
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,885
Oh, shit.
349
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,689
Newton Haven.
350
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:31,685
Take a moment to look upon it in its original
colors, boys, for tonight we paint it red.
351
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,761
[GARY WHOOPING]
352
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,891
[SIREN WAILING]
353
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,328
Oh, no, no, no. Shit.
354
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,286
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
355
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,600
Fuck, fuck.
356
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,728
Oh, no, it's okay,
I did it all in the services.
357
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,325
[SNIFFLES]
[KNOCKS]
358
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,490
Know why I pulled
you over, sir?
359
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,165
Was the music too loud?
360
00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,727
Your left brake light is faulty.
Oh! [CHUCKLES]
361
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,566
The old brake lights! So called
because they're always breaking.
362
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,005
I'll get that sorted out,
Officer.
363
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,286
Can I see your license, sir?
Yup.
364
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,601
Ah!
365
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,091
You know what?
It's in my wallet.
366
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,891
And I left that
at the bloody gym!
367
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:20,562
Any other form of identification?
No, it's all in my sports bag.
368
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:23,120
That's bloody typical,
isn't it? Um...
369
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,249
I'll give you my name and address, you
can run me through the old system.
370
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,367
Go on then.
371
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,408
It's Peter Page.
372
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:34,361
48 Bishop's Gardens,
London, N2 T12.
373
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,050
Jesus, Gary! WTF? Why did
you give him my name?
374
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,645
I'm not gonna give
him my name, am I?
375
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,006
Suppose I get done
by the police?
376
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,445
You won't get done
by the police.
377
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,449
Gary, he will check the number
plate against his name!
378
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,130
I know. Why do you think
I gave him Pete's name?
379
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,010
Jesus Christ, Gary, I own a car showroom.
lam a junior partner.
380
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,525
This is...
[SQUABBLING]
381
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:53,726
Just trust me.
382
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,971
So, Mr. Page, what brings
you to Newton Haven?
383
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,930
Well, we're all from here. We're
just back to see the sights.
384
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,923
Have a crack at
the old Golden Mile.
385
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,286
Might get a bit messy.
[CHUCKLES]
386
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,488
Well, you make sure you get
that brake light fixed
387
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,166
and you might want to do
an emissions test, too.
388
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,086
Oh, and, Peter.
389
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,400
Don't make too much mess.
390
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,529
[LAUGHS]
391
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:15,726
We won't!
392
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,047
Hmm.
393
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,201
[WHISPERS]
I don't understand.
394
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,169
It's simple, Pete.
395
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,164
The car's still registered to
you, it has been since 1989.
396
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,605
But I've moved
three times since then.
397
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,170
I know, I changed
the log book.
398
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,924
Where do you think
all those points came from?
399
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,246
Jesus. You guys need to relax.
400
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,090
[GARY SHOUTING]
401
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,729
ANDY: Do you know how much
trouble you could get into?
402
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,370
GARY: Do you know how much
trouble I'm already in?
403
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,601
What's that
supposed to mean?
404
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,968
Hey. What the hell is this?
Why are we even here?
405
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,566
We are here to
get annihilated.
406
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:57,846
[RINGS BELL]
407
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,843
Have you got any plans
for dinner at all?
408
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,810
Tonight, we will be partaking
of a liquid repast
409
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,167
as we wend our way
up The Golden Mile.
410
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,925
Commencing with an inaugural
tankard at The First Post,
411
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,083
then onto The Old Familiar, The
Famous Cock, The Cross Hands,
412
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,571
The Good Companions,
The Trusty Servant,
413
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,802
The Two Headed Dog, The Mermaid,
The Beehive, The King's Head
414
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,848
and The Hole in the Wall
for a measure of the same.
415
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,720
All before the last bittersweet
pint in that most fateful terminus,
416
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,961
The World's End.
417
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,041
Leave a light on,
good lady,
418
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,441
for though we may return
with a twinkle in our eyes,
419
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,727
we will, in truth,
be blind drunk.
420
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,087
[ALTERNATIVE ROCK MUSIC
PLAYING]
421
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,445
[INAUDIBLE]
422
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,251
[INAUDIBLE]
423
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,805
[INAUDIBLE]
424
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:37,441
[RINGS DOORBELL]
425
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:46,765
[INAUDIBLE]
426
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:50,881
Come on!
427
00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:58,769
Until 1840...
Fucking hell.
428
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,889
...this building was the site of
Newton Haven's first post office.
429
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,928
Until an enterprising
business fellow decided that
430
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,970
far from befitting the sending
and receiving of mail
431
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,168
it was perhaps better
suited as a humble taproom
432
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:13,006
where a weary traveler might get twatted.
[CHUCKLES] Come on.
433
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,047
Ah! [CHUCKLES]
434
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,770
It's like déja vu.
435
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,010
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
436
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,002
I don't remember this at all.
Has it been refurbished?
437
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,969
Been bought by a chain,
hasn't it?
438
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:30,644
Part of that nationwide
initiative to rob
439
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,644
small, charming pubs
of any discernible character.
440
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,206
Starbucking, man.
It's happening everywhere.
441
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:37,607
[INHALES DEEPLY]
442
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,205
Can't take away
that smell, though.
443
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,884
I'm sure they tried.
444
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,806
Good evening, Raymondo.
The prodigal sons return. Eh?
445
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,405
Who's on the
guest list tonight?
446
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,369
Come again?
The guest ales.
447
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:51,205
We, sir, are doing The
Golden Mile and you have
448
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,442
the honor of drawing
first blood.
449
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,171
What do you recommend? There's one.
Crowning Glory.
450
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,725
Rather fitting.
How's that?
451
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,529
I'm Gary King.
What?
452
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,841
So tell me more.
About what?
453
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,161
Crowning Glory. Is it nutty?
Is it foamy? Is it hoppy?
454
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,766
Does it have a surprisingly fruity
note which lingers on the tongue?
455
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,241
Hmm. It's beer.
Hmm.
456
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:11,651
We'll have five
of those, please.
457
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,724
No. Sorry. Can we have four of
those and a tap water, please?
458
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,406
What?
459
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,646
[ANDY GULPING]
460
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,328
I don't believe this,
461
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:32,088
a man of your legendary prowess
drinking fucking rain.
462
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,803
It's like seeing a lion
eating some hummus.
463
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,962
That doesn't make any sense. I
know it doesn't make any sense.
464
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,611
You seriously have a problem with me
not drinking, after what happened?
465
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,251
I don't, but King Arthur does!
Oh, this'll be good.
466
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,845
What's King Arthur
got to do with it?
467
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,242
Do you honestly think that King Arthur
came back from the Battle of Hastings,
468
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,722
fucking rocked up at Arthur's Castle...
Camelot.
469
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,006
...walked up to the bar
and went,
470
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,923
"Hello.
Could I have a tap water?"
471
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,526
No, because they didn't have
running water in Arthurian times.
472
00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,447
Exactly. He would have had a mead.
The King Arthur of beers.
473
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,682
And I'm less of a man because
I choose to drink water?
474
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,285
Well, it's a bit
"ooh ducky", innit?
475
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:05,691
That's not very PC, Gary.
476
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,569
Get out of the '90s, Pete.
477
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,564
There's nothing "ooh ducky"
about being teetotal,
478
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,120
about walking into a pub
after a rugby match
479
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:17,569
and ordering a tap water at a bar packed
full of big ugly bastards wearing warpaint.
480
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,803
That, my friend, takes confidence, yeah?
I'm talking balls.
481
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,564
[CHUCKLES]
You said it, poof.
482
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:27,250
I don't know if you're aware of this,
Gary, but we are not teenagers anymore.
483
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,806
And God forbid you ever
have children, because if...
484
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:30,961
I might have kids.
485
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,565
Then you had better be ready
to take responsibility...
486
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,244
No. I mean I might have kids.
487
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,804
You remember Karen
Eggerton, who I fucked?
488
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,726
She was two weeks late when her
parents emigrated to Normandy.
489
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,566
I never heard from her again.
She might have had a baby.
490
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,240
Imagine that? A French kid.
491
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,004
It's pointless arguing
with you.
492
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,481
To kids.
Wherever they may be.
493
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,401
Kids.
Kids.
494
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,964
Drink up. Let's Boo-Boo.
495
00:24:58,400 --> 00:24:59,561
"Boo-Boo".
What is that?
496
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,881
You remember,
"Let's Boo-Boo."
497
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,008
You know, from Mr. Shepherd's
classroom, it said on the wall,
498
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,606
"Exit, pursued by a bear," you
know, from that Shakespeare play?
499
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,444
A Winter's Tale.
Yeah. What was it called?
500
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:09,760
A Winter's Tale.
That's it.
501
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,889
And if we needed to make a quick getaway,
we'd say, "Exit, pursued by a bear,"
502
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,962
and then it was,
"Exit, pursued by Yogi Bear,"
503
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:16,804
and then it was just,
"Let's Yogi and Boo-Boo,"
504
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,166
and then, "Let's Boo-Boo."
505
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,487
So you're saying we should go?
Yeah. It's shit here, innit?
506
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:26,601
GARY: Ah!
507
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:32,605
The Old Familiar.
Now this is a pub.
508
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,851
[LAUGHS] Yes.
This is more like it.
509
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,405
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
510
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,081
Like déja vu.
511
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:48,529
David, my man, have you heard the news?
Gary King is back in town.
512
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:49,647
Who's he?
513
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,201
[BURPS]
514
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:06,685
How was the
funeral, Gary?
515
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,321
Your mum's funeral?
516
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,482
It's difficult to
put into words.
517
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:18,285
But if I had to choose
three, I would say,
518
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,690
"Really, really sad."
519
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,404
Oh, no, that's two,
isn't it?
520
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,285
How about,
"Really, very sad"?
521
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,523
It's a shame, [SIGHS]
she was a good woman.
522
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:33,970
I really liked your mum.
523
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,964
[CHUCKLES]
Me, too, mate. Me, too.
524
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,643
Hello.
Hello, mate.
525
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:40,767
Are you here?
526
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,842
Yeah, I've been here for ages.
What are you talking about?
527
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,843
You get lost on the
ring road again?
528
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,410
This is Newton Haven.
529
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,329
What time are you meeting The Twins?
Twins?
530
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,046
We're all at The Old Familiar.
Come by if you want.
531
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,646
Yeah, he is. Okay.
See you soon.
532
00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,201
Who was that, O-Man?
533
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:03,769
Don't call me O-Man, Gary.
If you must know it was Sam.
534
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:04,807
Sam's here?
Sam's here?
535
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,804
Is there a fucking echo in here?
Yes, Sam's here.
536
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,121
She's down from Manchester. We're
driving to Mum's tomorrow.
537
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,326
What, and she's coming here?
538
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,807
Calm down, Steve, I saw her first.
Jesus Christ, not this again.
539
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,646
Are you fucking kidding me?
I saw her first.
540
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,121
You really have a selective
memory, don't you?
541
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,685
Somebody else
was saying that.
542
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,484
Me. No. I would have remembered.
543
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,449
I told you I had
a thing about Sam
544
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,000
and you proceeded to try and get
in her pants at every opportunity.
545
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,081
Guys, please.
546
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,401
You only liked her after
you found out I liked her!
547
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,244
That's right, because you
did the school play.
548
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,328
Cabaret. Cabaret.
Because she was in it.
549
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,244
And she wore those fishnet stockings
and you got a big boner on stage.
550
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:39,401
[LAUGHING]
Jesus Christ.
551
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,529
Doesn't matter anyway, she always had
a massive wide on for Adrian Keane.
552
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:43,761
I hated that prick.
553
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:48,448
Can we not talk about
my sister in relation to,
554
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,689
A, massive wide ons,
B, Steven's erect penis?
555
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,205
All right.
556
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,248
Is she still fit, though?
I'm not answering that.
557
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,001
Is she, though?
558
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,606
Am I what?
Fit.
559
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,727
Hello, Sam. Steven? You've
grown, haven't you?
560
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,768
Yeah, sideways.
You look fantastic.
561
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:07,251
Steroids.
562
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,085
Andy, long time.
563
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,725
Hi, Pete.
Hi, Sam.
564
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:12,841
All right, big brother?
565
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,447
Gary.
566
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,888
Willkommen. Bienvenue.
Welcome.
567
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,121
Sam. Would you like a drink?
568
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,011
Hey, Steve. She's just got here.
Come on.
569
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,161
Sam. Would you like a drink?
570
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,408
I'll have a vodka tonic,
thanks, Steven. Sure.
571
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,010
I'm just going to nip to the loo.
Cool.
572
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:29,241
[CHUCKLES]
573
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,130
Nature calls.
574
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,764
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
575
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,842
I'm going to the toilet.
Well, then, so am I.
576
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,450
Gary! You are
out of your mind!
577
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:46,965
What are you talking about?
You gave me the sign.
578
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,805
What sign?
You went to the toilet.
579
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:51,763
Gary, are you serious? I
haven't seen you in 20 years.
580
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,366
Do you really think I'm going to have
sex with you in the ladies' toilet?
581
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:56,090
Well, the disableds
is out of order.
582
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,128
Gary. What happened?
I don't know,
583
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,407
maybe one of them put too many
paper towels down the toilet.
584
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,642
I mean, we don't know what they
are thinking, really, do we?
585
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,928
No. What happened to you?
586
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:06,161
Nothing.
587
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,049
Nothing happened to me.
I'm the same old Gary.
588
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,169
No shit.
Huh!
589
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:12,561
So, do you wanna?
590
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,881
Oliver. I'll see you later.
You're going?
591
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,088
I thought you weren't meeting The
Twins for another half hour?
592
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,050
I'm not. Oh, yeah.
I believe this is yours.
593
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:25,801
[CHUCKLES]
594
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,724
"Out of order."
It's a private joke.
595
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:32,890
I don't want to know.
596
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,763
What is that?
OLIVER: Modern art.
597
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:50,887
PETER: It's a memorial,
isn't it?
598
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:52,291
Yeah. To modern art.
599
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:54,685
Hey, guys, do you
know what time it is?
600
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:56,526
It's not even 6:00.
601
00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:00,491
Wrong! It's high time
we got onto The Cock!
602
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:01,607
Whoo-hoo!
603
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:04,321
Let's go.
604
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:06,924
Come on.
605
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,403
[LAUGHING]
606
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:17,730
When you're ready, mate.
607
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,048
Oh, shit.
Look who it is.
608
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,244
Basil. Mad Basil!
609
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:26,721
Do you remember?
We used to come in here
610
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:31,522
and listen to him talk about fucking UFOs
and lizard people and underwater Nazis.
611
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,483
OLIVER: Didn't he spout some
bullshit about the Bermuda Triangle
612
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,601
actually being a square?
613
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,809
No, he said it was two isosceles
triangles forming a rhombus.
614
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,086
He was your best mate,
wasn't he, Steve?
615
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,640
No, he wasn't my
best mate, Gary.
616
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:43,848
He was a lonely, old guy and
I felt a bit sorry for him.
617
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,763
That's right. Basil!
618
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,008
Maybe we're not the local
legends you think we are.
619
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:51,684
Gary King?
Speak for yourself, mate.
620
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,171
You're barred.
621
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,522
I cannot fucking believe this.
This is ridiculous.
622
00:30:58,600 --> 00:30:59,681
Believe me, Gary,
it's not worth it.
623
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,445
Have two in the next one. Have them
all in the next one, for all I care.
624
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,325
We've got to have one in every pub
otherwise the whole thing's fucked.
625
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,283
I'd say it was fairly
fucked already, mate.
626
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:08,561
Great.
627
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,488
How much more of this
do we have to endure?
628
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,562
That was three. There's nine more.
Oh, good.
629
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,529
Fuck that
I need to eat something.
630
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:23,886
We can get some food
in the next pub.
631
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,928
As long as it's
reasonably healthy.
632
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,490
This is Newton Haven.
633
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,569
Hardly the heart of the
organic revolution.
634
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,290
I doubt it's the
heart of anything.
635
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:35,160
My wife wanted us to go organic,
problem is, I kinda like eating shit.
636
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,163
The next pub does shit!
Keep up!
637
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,289
[JEERING]
638
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,644
STEVEN: Oh, yeah.
I remember this one.
639
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:45,927
GARY: We had New Year's in here, didn't we?
PETER: '89 into '90.
640
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:47,929
OLIVER: Isn't that when you
slept on the pool table, Andy?
641
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,121
Yeah. I believe it was.
642
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:50,611
OLIVER: For six hours.
Six hours.
643
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,245
Thank you for reminding me.
644
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:54,685
[ALL LAUGHING]
645
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:57,287
Do you remember
when you woke up,
646
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,647
we said you'd been asleep for
a year and that it was 1991
647
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,085
and you freaked out
and punched a clock?
648
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,286
[ALL LAUGHING]
649
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:03,566
That was a great night.
650
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,643
Didn't you manage to get off
with Erika Leekes, Peter?
651
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,605
Yes, I did. Something of a personal
triumph, if I say so myself.
652
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,530
She of the Marmalade Sandwich fame?
Marmalade Sandwich...
653
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:12,641
The very same.
654
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,570
Erika Leekes, Tracy Benson,
Becky Salt.
655
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,483
Two blondes and a redhead
in the middle.
656
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,530
The Marmalade Sandwich.
Becky Salt. Fucking hell.
657
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:21,681
Wonder what
they're doing now.
658
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:22,966
Why don't you ask them?
659
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,087
What do you mean?
660
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,687
I mean, sitting at that table over there are
two blondes and a redhead in the middle.
661
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,046
Shut the fuck up.
662
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,361
I'd say that's Erika Leekes on the
left, Tracy Benson on the right,
663
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:33,442
and by process of elimination,
there's Becky Salt in the middle.
664
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,363
That's the Marmalade Sandwich
all growed up.
665
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,124
That is very spooky.
[LAUGHING]
666
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:38,804
We should get them over.
No.
667
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,370
Leave the past where it is.
668
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,010
It's bad enough having to
look at your old, ugly mugs.
669
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,481
You make it sound like
we're fucking ancient.
670
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:45,527
We haven't changed that much.
671
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,762
I mean, sure, Steve's let
himself go a bit. What?
672
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,525
Pete's got the same haircut and Oliver
has still got his mark of the devil.
673
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:51,806
No, he hasn't.
No, he hasn't.
674
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:53,041
It's called
laser surgery, Gary.
675
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,600
It's a small price to pay for
not being called fucking O-Man.
676
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:57,284
That works for Sisters Of
Mercy tattoos as well.
677
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:58,771
I still like the
Sisters Of Mercy.
678
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:00,166
Well, good job,
or you'd never go swimming.
679
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:01,486
I'm lost.
Don't be.
680
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,291
Well, I for one, think it's nice
to see the old faces again.
681
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:05,447
Cheers, mate.
682
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,085
Excuse me? This taken?
683
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,480
Is this seat taken?
684
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:13,241
Have it, mate.
685
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:14,687
Thanks.
686
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,131
Wasn't that...
Shane Hawkins.
687
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:21,964
Hey, didn't he...
Yes, he did.
688
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,202
Hang on. What happened
with Shane Hawkins again?
689
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:26,681
I'd rather not bring it all
up again, if that's okay.
690
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,364
Hey, man. Listen, Pete.
691
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,124
Bottling up past trauma
can lead to
692
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,443
inadequate coping strategies
in later life, apparently.
693
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,887
I don't know, I mean, it's not
even about the past, you know.
694
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:40,089
It's not about the fact
that he bullied me,
695
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,606
that he made me miss more
school days than chicken pox.
696
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,242
It's not even that he forced me to spend
entire lessons hiding in a toilet cubicle,
697
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,609
or that he punched me so hard
he dislodged my eyeball.
698
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,730
And it's not even that he ruined
a large portion of my childhood.
699
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:57,124
No, it's the fact that just
then, he didn't recognize me.
700
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:01,365
He looked straight through me
like it all meant nothing.
701
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,521
That probably sounds weird,
doesn't it?
702
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,045
Shots!
703
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:09,283
S-H-O-T-S. Shots.
704
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:10,640
What are you doing, Gary?
705
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,842
I thought it was obvious.
Shots.
706
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,485
Firstly, Peter was talking
about something
707
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:15,925
which clearly made him
feel very uncomfortable.
708
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,162
It's all right, Andy.
No, Peter, it's not all right.
709
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:23,202
Secondly, 12 pints is more than enough,
and thirdly, I don't fucking drink!
710
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:25,328
But shots don't count,
do they?
711
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,084
You said you wanted
to catch up and chew the fat.
712
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,003
I think you just
wanted to drink it.
713
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:30,486
We're not here
as your friends.
714
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,244
We're just your
fucking enablers.
715
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,847
Enablers. That's a funny word, isn't it?
"Enabler."
716
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:36,570
Gary King And The Enablers.
717
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,210
That's a good name for a band, Steve.
Write that down.
718
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:39,560
Don't do a Gary, Gary.
719
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,603
Oh, is that a thing now, is it?
It's always been a thing.
720
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,330
You don't need us to
help you get fucked up,
721
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,210
you've done a perfectly
good job so far on your own.
722
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,243
I'm gonna go and see if
there's a bus back to London
723
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:50,560
if anyone wants to
come with me.
724
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:54,440
You can't go. This is special.
This is our anniversary.
725
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:55,851
It's not the
anniversary, Gary.
726
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:57,490
We did this in June.
It's October.
727
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,289
Yeah, but it's the anniversary
of the year, isn't it?
728
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,203
Every year is the
anniversary of a year!
729
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,009
It's just not the
same anymore, Gary,
730
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,521
and it's not that the town's
changed, we have changed.
731
00:35:05,720 --> 00:35:08,405
Yeah, well, you can't go,
'cause the buses are finished.
732
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,361
Then I'm gonna go back to the B&B.
You coming?
733
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:12,521
I could do with
an early one actually.
734
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:13,681
I should probably go
and find Sam.
735
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,650
Yeah, I'm gonna go
and find Sam with Oliver.
736
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,086
That's settled then, yeah?
737
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,211
You know what I think?
I think you're jealous.
738
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:26,361
Yeah, you've got your houses and your cars
and your wives and your job security.
739
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,649
But you don't have
what I have. Freedom.
740
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:34,050
You're all slaves and I'm free
to do what I want any old time.
741
00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:35,971
And this is what you want?
742
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,565
You should grow up, mate.
Join society.
743
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,081
Yeah, but Mum died.
744
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,602
And we're all very sorry,
but now it's time to go home.
745
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,603
I thought we were home.
746
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,605
[MUSIC PLAYING]
747
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,524
I can't help feeling sorry for him.
[MOBILE VIBRATING]
748
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,291
Don't.
749
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:15,647
[FLUSHING]
750
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,807
Oh! Fuck! Piss!
751
00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:33,244
Careful, the floor's
a bit pissy.
752
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,890
Wasn't me.
753
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,289
That was me.
[CHUCKLES]
754
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,169
Did that back in '90.
755
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,290
1990.
756
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,883
Punched the shit
out of the wall. [LAUGHS]
757
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:55,567
I don't know why. Seemed
important at the time.
758
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:02,048
You guys look like you're
having a good night, though.
759
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:05,090
I'm doing The Golden Mile tonight.
You want to tag along?
760
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:08,970
We'll be like The Six Musketeers.
[ZIPS UP]
761
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,485
I said we're doing
The Golden Mile.
762
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,603
You think you're so cool,
don't you?
763
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:21,321
Huh?
764
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,410
But we were cooler.
765
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,130
We owned this town.
766
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,771
We paved the way for you lot.
Blazed a trail.
767
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:29,968
Hey! Look at me when
I'm talking to you!
768
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,122
Please don't.
Don't what?
769
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:33,851
You don't want
to do that.
770
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,570
[SCOFFS] Don't I?
771
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,281
[SCREAMS]
772
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:56,804
[GARY PANTING]
773
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:02,684
What?
774
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,649
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
775
00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:12,563
You need to explain
this right now!
776
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:13,801
Andy, this kid
just attacked me.
777
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:14,881
Don't you dare
change the subject!
778
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,007
He smashed my head
in the mirror.
779
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,560
You know who I just spoke to?
Your mum!
780
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,211
And not from the afterlife.
From fucking Bournemouth.
781
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:22,327
Is that real?
782
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:23,845
She says she hasn't spoken
to you for eight months.
783
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:25,445
Andy...
His head just came off!
784
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,961
No, Gary, you are not gonna
wriggle out of it this time.
785
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:29,804
[ALL SCREAMING]
786
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,601
WTF!
787
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:14,845
[ALL GRUNTING]
788
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,245
[GRUNTING]
789
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,209
There's someone in here.
790
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:57,520
[SCREAMS]
791
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:13,406
[SCREAMS]
792
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:16,441
[GROANS]
793
00:40:17,720 --> 00:40:18,721
[GRUNTING]
794
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,006
Andy, did you see...
795
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:30,761
[ALL GRUNTING]
796
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:49,885
[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
797
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:54,521
[GRUNTING]
798
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:08,927
WTF, Gary. WTF.
799
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,083
What the fuck
does "WTF" mean?
800
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,721
What the fuck?
Oh, yeah.
801
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,169
This can't be happening.
Can it?
802
00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:18,366
[PANTING]
You said it, mate.
803
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:20,130
I can't believe it.
804
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:21,326
I know, mate.
805
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:23,323
I can't believe you
lied about your mum!
806
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:24,481
That was a white lie!
807
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,040
How is that a white lie?
She's not dead, is she?
808
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:28,565
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
809
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,246
Wait, wait, wait!
Where are you going?
810
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,209
To get help.
No, don't do that!
811
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,561
What, don't get help? We don't
know how far this goes.
812
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:39,041
Wait, who are you calling?
Vanessa.
813
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:40,167
Who's Vanessa?
My wife.
814
00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:42,004
Why are you calling your wife?
Because she's my wife.
815
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,605
You just said we don't
know how far this goes.
816
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,206
I was just thinking about the pub.
Oh, well, there's a surprise.
817
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:47,606
I can't get through.
818
00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:48,846
Can you get through to Sam?
819
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,524
I've got full bars and
I'm not getting through.
820
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:56,369
OPERATOR: I'm sorry, your call
cannot be connected at this time.
821
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:57,851
Must be the network.
822
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:02,289
Holy shit.
This is all connected.
823
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,841
This explains why
everything's gone fuck up.
824
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,246
Everybody's been replaced
by one of these.
825
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,688
That's why no one recognized
us, Basil, Dave, Raymondo.
826
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,331
I thought it was weird.
Shane Hawkins.
827
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:17,291
Exactly. It's not us that's
changed, it's the town.
828
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,408
I'm right, aren't I, Andy?
829
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,767
Andy, aren't I right?
You're never wrong.
830
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:25,367
No, whatever the fuck's happening,
we can't stay in the gents forever.
831
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:27,323
Ten people have entered this
toilet in the last five minutes
832
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,044
and not a single one
has come back out again.
833
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:30,531
That's going to
look suspicious.
834
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,051
[GASPS] Gay loving.
835
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:34,163
And that's worse
than five dismembered bodies?
836
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:36,721
This is Newton Haven.
[SIGHS]
837
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,131
[ALL PANTING]
838
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:42,641
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
839
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:51,481
How's it looking?
Normal. Very normal.
840
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,649
I don't like it.
841
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:57,242
What do we do?
Let's finish our drinks.
842
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:11,522
I say we neck these and
get the fuck out of here.
843
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:12,931
To London?
To The Trusty Servant.
844
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,162
Are you fucking kidding?
Oh, yeah.
845
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,440
It's The Good Companions next.
I always mix those two up.
846
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,284
Are you saying we move
on to the next pub?
847
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:22,408
We should get in The Beast
and head back to London!
848
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,887
My brake light is broken.
So don't use the brakes!
849
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,002
I'm way over the limit. When
has that ever stopped you?
850
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,845
I don't want to put any more
points on Pete's license.
851
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,440
Andy can drive,
he's teetotal!
852
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:33,521
[GROANS]
853
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:45,006
Ah!
854
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,411
That's settles it then.
855
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,608
The last thing we need to do is
get pulled over by the police.
856
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:49,920
A, we're all drunk,
857
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,765
B, they might be in on it and,
C, we've got blood on our hands.
858
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,962
It's more like ink. We've
got ink on our hands.
859
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,766
So, has it got messy yet? What?
860
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,810
What are you, five pubs in? Four
861
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:05,687
Oh, not even halfway.
Plenty more fun to be had.
862
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,371
Enjoy your night, Peter.
863
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:09,561
Thank you.
864
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:12,566
Thank you.
865
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:17,007
Sorry.
866
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,242
The way I see it, we've told everybody
we were doing The Golden Mile.
867
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:20,321
You did.
868
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,084
If we suddenly jump in The Beast
now and head for the hills,
869
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,400
they're gonna know
that we know,
870
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,642
but if we keep doing what we're
doing and going where we're going,
871
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:26,721
then they're not gonna know.
872
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:27,926
Know what?
That we know.
873
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,526
I suggest we finish what we started
and leave quietly in the morning.
874
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,883
Wait. You're really suggesting...
We finish The Golden Mile.
875
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,522
It's pointless
arguing with him.
876
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:38,245
Drink up. Let's Boo-Boo.
877
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,284
GARY: We're just five friends
878
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,248
on a night out,
having a good time.
879
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,521
[CLASSIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
880
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:46,765
[ALL EXHALE]
881
00:45:52,240 --> 00:45:53,685
Drinking.
Ah!
882
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,091
Been
Pubs
883
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:56,446
[BURPS]
Shall we?
884
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,927
PETER: I feel a little
uncomfortable drinking this much.
885
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,968
GARY: It's like Dutch
courage, isn't it?
886
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,725
You know, when the English soldiers
used to drink Dutch gin before battle
887
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:10,131
to give them super strength.
888
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:12,646
You know, I thought that was to
numb the sense of impending doom.
889
00:46:12,720 --> 00:46:13,767
Exactly.
890
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:16,889
We're just five friends on a
night out, having a good time.
891
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:20,889
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
892
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:40,005
I need the toilet.
893
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,845
Go on then. You've earned it.
Huh?
894
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:45,127
You're doing really good, Oliver.
[SIGHS]
895
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,926
He didn't make it this far last time.
I'm proud of him.
896
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:50,930
You're enjoying this,
aren't you?
897
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,526
Yeah, five guys on a night
out, having a great time.
898
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,090
Pretending to have
a great time.
899
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:56,321
Are you pretending?
900
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:59,051
If we get out of here alive,
I'm going to kill you.
901
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:00,724
We're still
in the dark, Gary.
902
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,406
Yeah, our families could be
in danger for all we know.
903
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:07,406
I know, my mum could be dead.
For reals this time.
904
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:11,528
Hey, why don't we just
ask somebody? Who?
905
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,809
The Reverend Green.
Come on. Wait.
906
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,645
What the fuck
are you doing?
907
00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:20,690
I'm going to go and have a little
chat with The Reverend Green.
908
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:22,441
You're going to buy drugs?
909
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:25,922
I am going to go over there and subtly
check if that is The Reverend Green
910
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,970
and if it is, I can ask him
what's going on,
911
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,565
and possibly buy some drugs.
912
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:32,444
But what if he's one of them?
913
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:34,648
No, me and The Reverend had
a highly sophisticated code
914
00:47:34,720 --> 00:47:36,449
when discussing the purchase
of herbal narcotics.
915
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:41,084
If he doesn't understand me, it means he's
one of them and I will simply walk away.
916
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:42,441
Ah!
917
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,365
Have you got any drugs? I
don't do that anymore, Gary.
918
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,363
Do what?
That.
919
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:54,726
That why you're
in a suit, is it?
920
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:56,564
'Cause drug dealing is
not good enough for you?
921
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:58,722
There are no drug
dealers anymore, Gary.
922
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,643
I've got a proper job
in a proper office.
923
00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:03,246
You had a proper office.
That was the gents' toilets.
924
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:05,209
Nothing wrong with doing
your business in the toilet.
925
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,131
Look, a lot has changed since
you have left. I know.
926
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:10,328
How much do you know?
A little.
927
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:11,680
How much is a little?
928
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,729
The town has been taken over
by robots full of blue stuff.
929
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:14,881
Shh. Keep your voice down.
930
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:16,246
You don't even know
what you're talking about.
931
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,721
Tell us then.
Well, they're not robots.
932
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:20,643
Do you even know
what robot means?
933
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:24,486
Course I do. It's like,
"Hello, lam a robot."
934
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:28,201
It means "slave" and believe
me, they are not slaves.
935
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:30,408
Are you their prisoner?
No, lam very happy.
936
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:31,641
[SCOFFS]
Tell your face.
937
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:33,922
Hey! What's going on?
938
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,923
The town's been invaded
by robots who aren't robots
939
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:37,923
and The Rev's their prisoner.
I am not.
940
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,841
We're leaving first thing.
We can get you out of here.
941
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,890
I'm not going. It's not what you think.
This is for all our benefit.
942
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:47,482
You've said too much, Trevor.
Yeah, put a cork in it, Trevor.
943
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,767
I'm just trying to help.
It's not your place to help.
944
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:51,410
They will have
everything in hand.
945
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:52,527
Are you guys robots?
946
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:56,048
Well, the word robot actually
comes from an old Czech word...
947
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:57,645
...robotnik...
...meaning slave.
948
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,649
And we are not slaves.
We are very, very happy.
949
00:48:59,720 --> 00:49:00,926
And not robots.
950
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:02,451
Oh, my God,
are these guys robots?
951
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:03,646
Shut up about robots!
952
00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:05,290
I say we shut up
about everything!
953
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:06,361
[PHONE RINGING]
954
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:10,405
[INDISTINCT]
955
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:13,361
Trevor.
956
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,126
It's your supervisor.
957
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:22,966
Hello, Trevor.
Hello, sir.
958
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:26,770
But...
959
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:29,045
I understand.
960
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,371
Thanks a bunch.
961
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,051
What did I miss?
962
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:01,083
Your friends
trying to help.
963
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,446
We don't need
your help.
964
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:03,891
Well, what should we do?
965
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:07,609
I suggest you get
on your way.
966
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,249
I think we should
do what he says.
967
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:13,411
Okay.
968
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:19,767
[GARY CHATTERING]
969
00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:22,326
GARY: Here we go.
970
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,724
Come on!
Gary.
971
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,131
Gary!
972
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:31,282
Let's just get in and
out of this one, yeah?
973
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:33,124
No more making new friends.
974
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:37,049
Gentlemen!
The prodigal sons return!
975
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:40,090
What will it be, one of
our guest ales perchance?
976
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:43,771
Might I recommend
five pints of Crowning Glory?
977
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,850
Rather fitting, wouldn't you say, Gary?
What? Sorry. What?
978
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,969
It's a delightful brew.
Hoppy, nutty, foamy.
979
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:53,203
Does it have a surprisingly fruity
note that lingers on the tongue?
980
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:55,926
You're obviously a connoisseur.
[LAUGHS]
981
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:57,929
Then you'll already
know that it's a rare treat
982
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:01,925
for rogues, reverends, royalty
and all good folks between.
983
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:03,570
Five of those, please.
984
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,563
Welcome home, boys.
985
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:11,724
I don't remember him
being that friendly.
986
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:14,167
He's obviously
one of them.
987
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:15,845
How can he be?
He remembered me.
988
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:17,285
We don't know
what they remember.
989
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:18,805
OLIVER: Maybe they
have selective memories.
990
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:20,803
Yeah, like what's his name?
Me.
991
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:22,723
Maybe he's one of the others.
Like The Reverend.
992
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:24,165
It is very hard
to tell, isn't it?
993
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,169
Yeah, I mean, is he one of
them or is he one of them?
994
00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:28,004
Wait, wait, which ones
are the thems again?
995
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:29,366
Well, they're both thems,
aren't they?
996
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:30,641
But there's two ways
of saying it.
997
00:51:30,720 --> 00:51:32,768
Is he one of them or
is he one of them?
998
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,080
We need different terms.
999
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:38,131
One for the people who aren't robots and
one for the robots who aren't robots.
1000
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:44,406
All right, we need to be able to
differentiate between them, them and us.
1001
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:46,369
Yeah, I think the pronouns
are really confusing.
1002
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:48,363
ALL: Yes. I don't even
know what a pronoun is.
1003
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:50,442
It's a word that can
function by itself as a noun
1004
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,090
which refers to something
else in the discourse.
1005
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:53,525
I don't get it.
You just used one.
1006
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:54,926
Did I?
Yeah. "it" is a pronoun.
1007
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:55,967
What is?
It.
1008
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:57,041
Is it?
Christ.
1009
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,930
Look, we just need a fucking word
so we can identify who's who.
1010
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:04,767
He's a blank, she's a blank, those
two people are definitely blanks.
1011
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:07,681
Sam.
1012
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,285
I got this, Steve.
1013
00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:14,925
All right, Sam?
Oh, crumbs.
1014
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,089
How's your night going?
[SIGHS]
1015
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:19,527
Good. Sort of.
1016
00:52:20,240 --> 00:52:22,242
What do you mean
"sort of"?
1017
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,961
Well, it's weird, isn't it?
1018
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:30,165
You come back and everything's
the same, but sort of different.
1019
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:31,850
Different how?
1020
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:33,530
Just weird.
1021
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,085
How weird?
1022
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:36,961
What are you getting at, Gary?
1023
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:38,570
Come with me.
1024
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:42,804
Fuck's sake, Gary,
take a hint.
1025
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:44,211
It's all right, I'm not
trying to have sex with you.
1026
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:45,691
Why are we in the
disabled toilets then?
1027
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:46,966
There's something I need
to tell you right now,
1028
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:48,246
unless you do
want to have sex,
1029
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:49,367
in which case
I'll tell you afterwards.
1030
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:50,441
Tell me right now.
1031
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:51,846
Have you noticed anything
creepy about The Twins
1032
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:53,001
apart from the fact
that they're twins?
1033
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:55,447
Just because they're twins doesn't
automatically make them creepy.
1034
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:57,170
It does a little bit.
You had sex with them.
1035
00:52:57,240 --> 00:53:00,608
A, I did not, and, B, how
did you know about that?
1036
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:03,525
A, it's a small town, B, I'm not
stupid and, C, they told me.
1037
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:05,364
Right. Well, I did once,
but I was wasted,
1038
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:07,283
which was creepy because it was
like there was four of them.
1039
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:08,930
I am not proud of it.
I am a bit.
1040
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:11,486
Is this what you wanted to tell me?
No, this is...
1041
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:12,601
[SAM SLAPS]
[GARY SCREAMS]
1042
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:16,001
Are you okay, Sam?
Are you okay, Sam?
1043
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:17,610
I need a cigarette.
1044
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:21,046
Nobots?
How about Fauxbots?
1045
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,088
I think we should get away
from the whole robots thing.
1046
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:24,286
Steven?
1047
00:53:24,720 --> 00:53:25,926
What's he up to?
1048
00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:29,405
Oh, don't worry, he's probably just
trying to fuck Oliver's sister.
1049
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:30,481
Andy.
1050
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:33,964
Oh, my God,
that man is full of shit.
1051
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:36,764
I know that's not
a surprise to you.
1052
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:38,808
What did he say, Sam?
What did he say, Sam?
1053
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:44,291
He said that Newton Haven has been taken
over by robots full of blue stuff
1054
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:46,920
and if we don't do what they say,
they will make us their prisoners.
1055
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,650
Did you believe him?
Did you believe him?
1056
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,167
No, of course not.
1057
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,163
Did you believe him?
Did you believe him?
1058
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:57,365
What?
1059
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:58,441
[SCREAMS]
1060
00:54:04,720 --> 00:54:05,881
[GRUNTING]
1061
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:07,481
[GASPS]
1062
00:54:09,720 --> 00:54:11,802
See?
Come on, Sam.
1063
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:13,848
You know better than
to believe Gary King.
1064
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:16,521
Oh, crumbs.
1065
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:19,041
Sam!
1066
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:30,411
[MUFFLED] God!
You creepy bitches, get off!
1067
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:32,847
[GRUNTING]
1068
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:47,161
Chuck us a ciggie.
1069
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:48,521
Oh.
1070
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:53,729
Gary, what's happening?
1071
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:56,406
I told you in the disableds.
Oh, yes, you did.
1072
00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:57,880
We should get inside, eh?
1073
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,811
Otherwise people are going to
ask what the hell's going on.
1074
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,126
What the hell's going on?
1075
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:03,531
Steve, I got this.
Got what?
1076
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:05,841
Sam, he's not good
enough for you.
1077
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:06,921
What?
What?
1078
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,651
We've been through
some crazy shit tonight
1079
00:55:10,720 --> 00:55:13,644
and it's really put things
in perspective for me,
1080
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:18,123
and if everything is as fucked up as it seems,
then there's something I need to tell you.
1081
00:55:19,240 --> 00:55:23,086
You might think this is because
I've had seven pints, but it's not.
1082
00:55:23,160 --> 00:55:24,161
It's not.
1083
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:26,530
I'm in love with you, Sam.
1084
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:28,405
I always have been,
1085
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:32,930
and it breaks my heart to see you waste
your affections on Gary fucking King.
1086
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:35,651
Hey, that's a bit harsh. Oh,
no, you've got it all wrong.
1087
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:37,842
There's nothing between...
And while I'm being honest,
1088
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:41,766
just to lay it all out there, lam
currently seeing a fitness instructor.
1089
00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:43,251
She's 26 years old,
1090
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,085
but I would drop her in
a heartbeat if it meant
1091
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:47,810
that I had one last chance
with you.
1092
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:51,209
Steven, there's nothing
between me and Gary King.
1093
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:52,521
[BOTH GRUNT]
1094
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:54,921
Oh, fuck.
1095
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:00,681
[GRUNTING]
1096
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:06,807
[SCREAMS]
1097
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:14,970
Sorry.
[SCREAMS]
1098
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,568
Hey! Get your feet off her!
1099
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:31,760
Pop its head off! Pop its head
off like an aspirin bottle.
1100
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:34,765
[SCREAMS]
1101
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:39,881
Blue-bloods?
1102
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:42,162
Nothing suggested in
the last three minutes
1103
00:56:42,240 --> 00:56:43,844
has been better than
Smashy-Smashy Egg Men.
1104
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:45,604
Nothing.
What the hell's going on?
1105
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,921
Did you guys think of a name for
the robots who aren't robots?
1106
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,367
I'm afraid we've
drawn a blank.
1107
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,171
Well, we just had a barney with
two blanks in the beer garden.
1108
00:56:53,240 --> 00:56:54,924
SAM: We have to leave now!
GARY: Agreed.
1109
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:00,280
Let's hit The Mermaid.
1110
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,044
Wait, what?
Number eight.
1111
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:03,087
"Number eight"?
1112
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:05,447
Oh, fuck.
Andy, what's happening?
1113
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:09,242
Gary thinks we should keep on with the
crawl because they know what we're doing,
1114
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,408
but they don't know that we
know what they're doing.
1115
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:14,768
And basically no one else
has a better idea, so fuck it.
1116
00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:17,606
What?
1117
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:19,761
Wait!
1118
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:26,441
SAM: Guys! Guys!
I've got a better idea.
1119
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:28,488
I'm parked right round
here somewhere.
1120
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:31,086
Haul it. Just go!
Steven, tell them!
1121
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:33,322
Gary said they'll get us
if we try and leave now.
1122
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,051
We're way past leaving now.
Come on.
1123
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:41,849
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]
1124
00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:51,290
[LAUGHS]
Oh, yeah.
1125
00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:53,883
This is what the kids want.
1126
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:55,325
This is a bit mad, isn't it?
1127
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:58,244
This is perfect. We can hide out in here.
I'll get the drinks in.
1128
00:57:58,360 --> 00:57:59,805
Good plan, O-Man.
Hey!
1129
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:01,450
Keep an eye out
for blanks.
1130
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:02,721
You've got it.
1131
00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:17,044
Why didn't you say anything?
About what?
1132
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:18,963
About what you said
in the garden.
1133
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:21,566
I always wanted to.
1134
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:23,563
It just never seemed
like the right moment.
1135
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:25,529
Something always
got in the way.
1136
00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:27,648
Here you go,
get these down you.
1137
00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:29,241
Thanks.
1138
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:31,607
Steven?
1139
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:39,363
Please! I have so
much to live for!
1140
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:41,442
It's me, you numpty.
Basil!
1141
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:44,364
I knew seeing your faces again
would spell trouble.
1142
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:46,841
Wait. How do I know
it's really you?
1143
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:51,762
Because I'm the only one who's going to
tell you the truth about Newton Haven.
1144
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:56,810
Now, do you recall the events of the
evening of June the 22nd, 1990?
1145
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:58,882
No, but I know a man who does.
1146
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:03,969
Here you go.
Hey.
1147
00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:06,008
See anyone we know?
1148
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,882
The Marmalade Sandwich.
The Marmalade Sandwich.
1149
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:21,601
They look good.
1150
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:26,721
It's the lights.
It's the drink.
1151
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:32,290
Who cares what it is?
1152
00:59:34,080 --> 00:59:35,241
SAM: Steven?
1153
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:37,641
Steven?
1154
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:40,245
That was the night
they arrived.
1155
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:42,482
Remember the shooting star?
That was them.
1156
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:43,891
Nothing happened at first.
1157
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:47,686
They were getting ready, burrowing
in underground, preparing.
1158
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:50,809
Not long after you lot left,
people started to change.
1159
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:52,803
Just one or two at first,
then more.
1160
00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:56,322
They replaced people of influence,
taking over the institutions,
1161
00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:59,809
remaking, remodeling,
refurbishing.
1162
00:59:59,920 --> 01:00:01,843
Doing everything they could
to make us join them.
1163
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:04,209
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]
1164
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:13,491
I can't find Steven.
Where are the others?
1165
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:15,526
They're blending in.
1166
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:20,045
Oh, crumbs.
1167
01:00:20,280 --> 01:00:23,284
It's not like the replacements
were evil, far from it.
1168
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:27,001
People got a lot friendlier.
That's how they do it.
1169
01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:30,485
It's not an invasion,
it's a merger.
1170
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:33,530
They don't want to get rid of
us, not if they can help it.
1171
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,531
They just want to make
us more like them.
1172
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,449
Change the way we think.
1173
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,648
Bring us into line
with all the others.
1174
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,722
Become another
link in their chain.
1175
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:45,561
Which is fine,
unless you say no.
1176
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,324
That's when you get replaced.
1177
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:50,641
Once they get your DNA,
they've got you.
1178
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:51,801
How do they do that?
1179
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:53,120
BASIL: Any way they like.
1180
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:59,082
Blood tests, the nit nurse, sweat,
kissing, saliva on the rim of a glass.
1181
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:02,286
Why do you think
I drink with this crazy straw?
1182
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:03,725
Not so crazy now, is it?
1183
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:06,970
If you're not on their side,
they'll create a version that is.
1184
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:11,291
They can bring you back exactly the
same or even make you young again.
1185
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:13,649
It looks like you, it
even has your memories,
1186
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:16,166
but really it's just a vessel
to spread their message.
1187
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:20,529
Trust, love, respect, desire.
1188
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,365
Replaced in the name
of progress.
1189
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:27,001
So, what happens to the
people who get replaced?
1190
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:30,090
The empties? Don't ask
me what happens to them.
1191
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:31,486
Why, what happens
to the empties?
1192
01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:33,164
I told you not
to ask me that!
1193
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:35,527
Go! Get out,
before it's too late!
1194
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:41,642
Basil?
I said go!
1195
01:01:45,680 --> 01:01:47,125
This just can't be good.
1196
01:01:47,440 --> 01:01:50,364
Sam, who was the boy that you
liked in sixth form? Adrian?
1197
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:53,640
Adrian Keane. Why?
1198
01:01:54,280 --> 01:01:55,486
He's over there.
1199
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,171
Hey, Sam.
How's life?
1200
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,568
Sam, we have to get out of here!
We have to get out of here!
1201
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:15,802
Where are the others?
They're blending in.
1202
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:19,250
Oh, fuck!
1203
01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:23,483
Gary! No, just one more song.
1204
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:25,803
Gary, she's a blank!
1205
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:27,245
Don't be so judgmental.
1206
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:28,321
Oh, for fuck...
1207
01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:31,681
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
1208
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:33,291
Still got it.
Enough's enough.
1209
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:34,607
Let's go.
1210
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:36,967
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.
Hold up. [CHUCKLES]
1211
01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:38,406
Where are you all going?
1212
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:40,522
ALL: We're leaving.
Really? What happened?
1213
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,443
Adrian Keane was in that bar.
Prick.
1214
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:43,965
I thought you liked
Adrian Keane.
1215
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:45,644
Adrian Keane is dead.
Oh, God.
1216
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:48,724
Adrian Keane died in a motorbike
accident in Italy eight years ago.
1217
01:02:48,800 --> 01:02:50,609
Did he? They must have
had his DNA on file.
1218
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:52,011
That's how they were
able to replicate him.
1219
01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:54,202
They know how to get to us, man.
They know everything.
1220
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:56,960
They didn't know Adrian was dead.
They knew enough to tempt us.
1221
01:02:57,040 --> 01:02:59,486
They knew these three would fall for
a bunch of girls in school uniform.
1222
01:02:59,560 --> 01:03:03,007
Hey, who wouldn't? Am I right?
Fuck,yeah.
1223
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:04,127
STEVEN:
We've gotta get out of town,
1224
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:05,611
we've gotta get beyond it
before it's too late.
1225
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:07,564
OLIVER: Where are you getting all this from?
STEVEN: Basil.
1226
01:03:07,640 --> 01:03:10,883
Mad Basil? He of the Bermuda
Rhombus and the Aqua Nazis?
1227
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:13,122
Another good name
for the band, Steve.
1228
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:14,964
You're putting our lives in
the hands of a crazy old man?
1229
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:16,610
He's not crazy!
No, maybe he's not.
1230
01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:18,603
Or maybe he's a blank trying to
lure us to the edge of town,
1231
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,126
onto those dark country roads
where they can deal with us.
1232
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:24,488
Yeah, we could end up dead in a field.
I hate fields.
1233
01:03:24,560 --> 01:03:26,847
OLIVER:
Yes. My thoughts precisely.
1234
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:29,323
Steven's right.
We should go.
1235
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:30,731
No, we're going
to The Beehive.
1236
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:32,325
Gary's plan is still
the best we have.
1237
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:34,201
Wait a minute.
1238
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:39,729
The 1990-model Oliver was out of
commission by this point in the evening.
1239
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:42,161
What are you saying?
1240
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:46,208
I like the new you.
Huh.
1241
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:47,281
Come on.
1242
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:50,370
This is a mistake,
isn't it?
1243
01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:51,566
GARY: Hold up!
Just stick with me.
1244
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:53,526
GARY: Andy, come on!
1245
01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:58,165
Here we go. Pub number nine.
[LAUGHING]
1246
01:03:58,240 --> 01:03:59,207
FUCK yes!
1247
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,760
That's the spirit, Pete!
Spirits! We should do chasers.
1248
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:03,166
Who is this guy?
1249
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:06,687
Come on. Andy!
It can't start without you.
1250
01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:10,361
You what?
1251
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:12,922
We can't start without you.
1252
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:19,841
Now then.
Whose round is it?
1253
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:21,451
It's mine.
1254
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:24,889
Mr. Shepherd!
Is it Mr. Shepherd?
1255
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:29,285
Why don't you kids join me? You look
like you could do with a drink.
1256
01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:35,806
Now, let's have a little chat
about your future, shall we, hmm?
1257
01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:39,283
Uh, Mr. Shepherd?
Please, call me Guy.
1258
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:41,601
All right.
1259
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:44,281
Guy...
[BOTH SNIGGER]
1260
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:46,691
Look at you.
1261
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:50,441
Are you a robot?
1262
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:53,600
Does anyone know
what robot means?
1263
01:04:53,760 --> 01:04:54,921
Yeah. I do!
Yes, Gary.
1264
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:56,850
It means "slave."
1265
01:04:56,920 --> 01:04:58,922
Oh, very good, Gary.
1266
01:04:59,400 --> 01:05:00,845
Are you a robot, sir?
1267
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:03,844
No, Peter, of course
I'm not a robot.
1268
01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:04,961
Sir?
Yes, Steven.
1269
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:06,411
But you're on their
side, though?
1270
01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:09,211
This is not about
sides, Steven.
1271
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:11,522
It's not about shirts
versus skins.
1272
01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:15,281
It's about working
together as one team.
1273
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:19,001
I know it may seem a bit weird
and a little bit scary,
1274
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:21,802
but please believe me,
it's quite the opposite.
1275
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:23,490
They're here to help.
1276
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:27,007
To straighten us out. To
prepare us for the big league.
1277
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:30,682
They've seen something
in us, a potential.
1278
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:33,326
There's a vast community
of worlds up there,
1279
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:37,724
living together, peacefully,
cooperatively.
1280
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:41,204
And guess what? They want
us along for the ride.
1281
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:45,242
Pretty cool, eh, gang?
[LAUGHING]
1282
01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:47,966
So, [CLEARS THROAT]
they're not here to harm us?
1283
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:52,445
Far from it, O-Man.
No, they're here to help.
1284
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:55,285
I'm not saying they're
afraid to get tough.
1285
01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:58,131
I certainly had to get
tough with you in my day.
1286
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:01,683
And what one amongst you
wouldn't thank me for it? Hmm?
1287
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:05,168
In some respects,
they're a lot like teachers.
1288
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:09,529
Stern, yes.
A little frightening.
1289
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:11,125
But it's all for
our betterment.
1290
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:18,002
So, what do you say we all go somewhere
and talk about this properly?
1291
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:19,366
That wasn't properly?
1292
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:23,081
Well, I think it's pretty clear, guys, what
Mr. Shepherd is trying to say is that...
1293
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:25,291
[ALL GASP]
1294
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:28,041
Andy! What the fuck?
1295
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:30,726
Yes, Andy. What the fuck?
1296
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:32,371
WTF?
[SCREAMS]
1297
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:35,327
[ALARMS RINGING]
1298
01:06:35,400 --> 01:06:39,405
Humans, you leave
us no recourse.
1299
01:06:39,640 --> 01:06:42,610
If you will not
join us willingly,
1300
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:47,011
we will be forced to use
other means of persuasion.
1301
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:48,730
Now, please...
1302
01:06:54,560 --> 01:06:56,005
[SCREAMS]
1303
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,969
I fucking hate this town!
1304
01:06:59,880 --> 01:07:01,370
[GRUNTING]
1305
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:14,801
[SCREAMS]
1306
01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:34,961
[SCREAMING]
1307
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:39,806
Oh, oh!
1308
01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:49,249
Oh, crumbs, you're heavy. Sorry.
1309
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:15,171
Motherfucker!
1310
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:29,681
[EXCLAIMS]
1311
01:08:34,920 --> 01:08:36,604
Andy!
1312
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:38,165
Twist the melon, man!
1313
01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:42,371
Yeah!
[GRUNTS]
1314
01:08:44,440 --> 01:08:48,206
Sam, this is no way
for a family to behave.
1315
01:08:56,960 --> 01:08:59,406
Sam, I'm disappointed
in you.
1316
01:09:05,840 --> 01:09:07,842
O-Man!
1317
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:13,365
[GRUNTING]
1318
01:09:22,560 --> 01:09:23,561
Okay, Andy.
1319
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:25,251
Break it up.
1320
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:28,570
It doesn't have
to be like this.
1321
01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:35,802
It could be so much simpler,
so completely painless.
1322
01:09:36,680 --> 01:09:38,762
If only you'd see the light.
1323
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:40,001
OLIVER: Yes.
1324
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:43,687
See, it's not
about conflict,
1325
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:47,369
it's about togetherness.
1326
01:09:47,440 --> 01:09:50,569
Yes. Let's try this
again, shall we?
1327
01:09:51,160 --> 01:09:52,161
How about another round?
1328
01:09:52,720 --> 01:09:56,611
Nah, we're done here.
1329
01:09:57,400 --> 01:10:00,961
Yes, Gary, that appears to be the case.
[SNAPS] [ALARM RINGING]
1330
01:10:01,040 --> 01:10:02,451
The Smokehouse!
1331
01:10:02,920 --> 01:10:04,160
What?
Just do it!
1332
01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:06,121
Come on!
1333
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:08,041
This way!
1334
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:20,844
BOTH: Humans,
this is your final warning.
1335
01:10:20,920 --> 01:10:23,207
Failure to comply
will result in your...
1336
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:24,321
[GASPS]
1337
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:28,442
Humans, obey now,
or face the consequences.
1338
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:32,801
Let's go!
1339
01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:36,207
[GRUNTING]
1340
01:10:41,920 --> 01:10:43,046
Shit.
1341
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:45,006
Oh, look, there's my car!
1342
01:10:47,840 --> 01:10:48,841
Let's climb down
the drainpipe.
1343
01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:51,810
I've got a better idea.
1344
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:54,251
[CAR ALARM WAILING]
1345
01:10:55,280 --> 01:10:56,770
Climb down the drainpipe.
1346
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:01,726
Okay, just go.
1347
01:11:01,800 --> 01:11:02,767
Wait. What about the others?
1348
01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:04,365
Leave 'em with me, okay?
I got this.
1349
01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:06,323
Are you sure? Yeah, I
always land on my feet.
1350
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:07,887
I don't know
if that's true, Gary.
1351
01:11:08,680 --> 01:11:09,681
Just go.
1352
01:11:10,240 --> 01:11:11,924
Will you find out what
happened to my brother?
1353
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:15,727
Yeah, of course, of course, and
I'll look after Stevie for you, eh?
1354
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:19,045
He's a good guy.
He's better than me.
1355
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:23,321
Gary, you're not a bad person, but
you're not boyfriend material.
1356
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:27,011
The whole "free spirit quick one
in the disabled toilets" thing
1357
01:11:27,080 --> 01:11:30,880
is kinda cool when you're 17,
but not when you're facing 40.
1358
01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:35,327
There comes a time when you have
to go forwards and not backwards.
1359
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:39,284
Maybe if I hadn't left you behind that
night, things would all be different.
1360
01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:41,804
It's not all about
that night, Gary.
1361
01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:43,761
Isn't it?
1362
01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:45,686
It doesn't have to be.
1363
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:49,729
We'll always have the
disableds, though, won't we?
1364
01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:53,451
Yeah. Yeah, we'll always
have the disableds.
1365
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:55,640
[STARTS ENGINE]
1366
01:12:15,600 --> 01:12:16,601
Oh, no.
1367
01:12:21,560 --> 01:12:22,561
[GRUNTING]
1368
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:30,245
STEVEN: Where's Sam?
1369
01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:31,726
I put her in her car.
1370
01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:32,927
You did what?
1371
01:12:33,040 --> 01:12:35,008
I put her in her car.
I just told her to leave.
1372
01:12:35,120 --> 01:12:37,851
You just sent away the only one
of us sober enough to drive?
1373
01:12:37,920 --> 01:12:40,161
Yeah. You just couldn't
stand the fact
1374
01:12:40,240 --> 01:12:41,651
that she might
prefer me to you.
1375
01:12:41,720 --> 01:12:43,404
That's not true.
it is true, Gary!
1376
01:12:43,720 --> 01:12:45,449
I was getting somewhere.
We held hands.
1377
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:48,206
I was just trying to help! You were
trying to help yourself, more like!
1378
01:12:48,280 --> 01:12:51,170
Jesus, I do something right for a
change and you fuckers get on my case.
1379
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:54,562
Wow, that's the first time I've
ever heard you admit being wrong.
1380
01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:56,330
I said I did something right!
1381
01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:57,606
Yeah, "for a change".
1382
01:12:57,680 --> 01:12:59,808
GARY: So? Meaning the rest
of the time you're wrong.
1383
01:12:59,880 --> 01:13:01,484
Not necessarily.
1384
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:04,803
Look, I just thought it was best
to keep her out of harm's way.
1385
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:07,167
And what about us, Gary?
Aren't we in harm's way?
1386
01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:09,891
We're all right, Pete. Come on,
we're The Five Musketeers.
1387
01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:12,042
No, we're the Four Musketeers.
1388
01:13:14,200 --> 01:13:17,647
Wait, how do we know
you put her in the car?
1389
01:13:18,400 --> 01:13:19,890
How do we know
you're you?
1390
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:21,086
Of course I'm me!
1391
01:13:21,160 --> 01:13:24,482
Well, who the fuck are you, Gary?
I'm Gary King.
1392
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:27,526
There's only one Gary King. How
do I know you guys are you?
1393
01:13:27,600 --> 01:13:29,011
We've been together
the whole time.
1394
01:13:29,240 --> 01:13:32,449
You might all not be you. How did
you know O-Man wasn't O-Man?
1395
01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:34,443
Because his birthmark
was back.
1396
01:13:34,520 --> 01:13:36,761
GARY: What does that prove?
Because of what Basil said.
1397
01:13:36,840 --> 01:13:38,410
They make a copy
from your DNA.
1398
01:13:38,480 --> 01:13:39,766
That's why he had
his birthmark.
1399
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:41,251
He was new, like a baby.
1400
01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:43,209
Like a man-baby.
Like a "maybe".
1401
01:13:43,280 --> 01:13:45,521
Oliver with none of the shit that
had happened to the real Oliver.
1402
01:13:45,680 --> 01:13:47,648
ANDY: The laser surgery!
1403
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:49,165
So the blanks really
are just blank?
1404
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:52,524
No wear and tear, no scars.
1405
01:13:52,880 --> 01:13:55,360
Steven, in 1987 we were playing
cricket and I accidentally pushed you
1406
01:13:55,440 --> 01:13:57,568
onto a broken bottle that
nearly went up your ass.
1407
01:13:57,640 --> 01:13:58,926
So?
Show us your bum.
1408
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:06,285
Very nice.
Thank you.
1409
01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:08,966
Pete, you got that 50cc
Suzuki in 1988,
1410
01:14:09,040 --> 01:14:10,690
and you let me have a go on it
and I ran over your leg.
1411
01:14:13,320 --> 01:14:14,526
What the fuck?
1412
01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:16,728
Oh, wait,
it's the other one.
1413
01:14:17,040 --> 01:14:18,041
[CHUCKLES]
1414
01:14:19,240 --> 01:14:22,449
Andy, in 1986 we re-enacted
the Knife Game from Aliens
1415
01:14:22,560 --> 01:14:23,925
and I stabbed you
in the middle finger.
1416
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:27,607
How about December 1997,
when you OD'd
1417
01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:30,570
and I drove you to the hospital
four times over the limit
1418
01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:34,565
and I ended up rolling the car and
almost severing my femoral artery,
1419
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:37,371
at which point you made
a miraculous fucking recovery
1420
01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:40,649
and ran off into the night,
leaving me to get arrested
1421
01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:42,768
after 12 hours of
life-saving surgery?
1422
01:14:43,360 --> 01:14:44,566
Either one of those will do.
1423
01:14:47,160 --> 01:14:49,162
Thank you.
What about you?
1424
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:50,605
That's easy.
1425
01:14:52,280 --> 01:14:54,886
That could have been drawn on.
Aren't all tattoos drawn on?
1426
01:14:54,960 --> 01:14:57,247
Yeah.
ANDY: Show us your arm.
1427
01:14:57,840 --> 01:15:00,605
What?
Show us your arm.
1428
01:15:01,680 --> 01:15:02,727
No, no.
1429
01:15:02,880 --> 01:15:07,602
You fell off stage at the fifth-year ball
fucking around and dislocated your elbow.
1430
01:15:07,680 --> 01:15:09,842
You've got a scar where they
put the metal plate in.
1431
01:15:09,920 --> 01:15:11,729
I don't have to show
you anything, all right?
1432
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:14,087
I'm Gary King.
I know I'm me.
1433
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:17,084
If I'm not me, then how do I know that
carved into that beam above your head
1434
01:15:17,200 --> 01:15:19,168
are the words "King Gary"?
1435
01:15:19,240 --> 01:15:20,366
But it doesn't say
"King Gary".
1436
01:15:20,440 --> 01:15:22,920
Yes, it does.
Doesn't it?
1437
01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:25,851
No. it says "King Gay".
1438
01:15:25,920 --> 01:15:28,810
Some cunt scrubbed
out the "R"!
1439
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:30,325
That was me.
GARY: Why?
1440
01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:32,971
"King Gay". [LAUGHS]
That means fuck-all anyway.
1441
01:15:33,040 --> 01:15:35,168
Mr. Shepherd remembered
stuff, so did Oliver.
1442
01:15:35,440 --> 01:15:37,488
Selective memory,
remember?
1443
01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:43,451
We don't see you for years and you
just pitch up and bring us here.
1444
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:46,401
You better come out with some
hard evidence that you're human,
1445
01:15:47,080 --> 01:15:49,367
otherwise we're going to
find out for ourselves.
1446
01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:52,848
You want evidence?
1447
01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:55,481
There!
1448
01:16:00,240 --> 01:16:01,287
That proves I'm human!
1449
01:16:01,480 --> 01:16:02,481
It proves you're stupid.
1450
01:16:02,560 --> 01:16:03,800
Exactly!
1451
01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:05,370
Ow!
1452
01:16:05,480 --> 01:16:06,811
ALL: It's Gary.
It's Gary.
1453
01:16:09,880 --> 01:16:12,042
ANDY: The whole town's
out looking for us.
1454
01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:15,169
That's a good thing. If everybody's
outside, that means nobody's inside.
1455
01:16:15,560 --> 01:16:17,642
Gary, wait! Fuck!
1456
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:19,841
[LAUGHING]
1457
01:16:20,560 --> 01:16:23,325
ANDY: Gary, Gary! What do
you mean "nobody's inside"?
1458
01:16:23,400 --> 01:16:24,765
I mean we can
still do this!
1459
01:16:24,840 --> 01:16:25,921
STEVEN: Do what exactly?
1460
01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:27,525
Oh, we're still on the crawl.
1461
01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:29,204
[LAUGHING]
1462
01:16:30,520 --> 01:16:31,760
"King Gay".
[LAUGHING]
1463
01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:33,240
Peter?
1464
01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:35,486
Peter.
1465
01:16:38,200 --> 01:16:41,647
I thought that was you.
Are you okay?
1466
01:16:42,120 --> 01:16:43,690
Am I what?
1467
01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:46,806
I know we didn't see
eye to eye at school.
1468
01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:49,087
Goodness knows
I regret that.
1469
01:16:49,680 --> 01:16:51,330
I wanted to say something
back at the pub,
1470
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:54,370
but I felt so terribly
ashamed by what I'd done.
1471
01:16:54,960 --> 01:16:58,646
Let me make it up to you, Peter.
Please.
1472
01:17:01,960 --> 01:17:04,042
Gary, you're out of your mind!
We've come too far.
1473
01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:05,121
It's fucking suicide.
1474
01:17:05,200 --> 01:17:08,966
I know. We are going to get to
The World's End if it kills us.
1475
01:17:09,040 --> 01:17:10,724
Where's Pete?
1476
01:17:10,840 --> 01:17:12,569
PETER: I hate you!
1477
01:17:12,760 --> 01:17:15,411
You fucking bastard!
I hate you!
1478
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:18,729
Pete! Leave it! Why are
you doing this, Peter?
1479
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:19,966
We don't want to hurt you.
1480
01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:22,724
Come on, mate!
It's not worth it!
1481
01:17:23,240 --> 01:17:25,049
Yes, it fucking is!
1482
01:17:25,400 --> 01:17:26,526
[SCREAMS]
1483
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:27,601
What's he doing?
1484
01:17:28,280 --> 01:17:29,406
Oh, shit.
1485
01:17:30,320 --> 01:17:31,321
Peter...
1486
01:17:33,400 --> 01:17:34,401
Peter...
1487
01:17:35,440 --> 01:17:39,729
I must say, I'm very
disappointed in you, Peter.
1488
01:17:44,040 --> 01:17:46,042
I'll punch their
fucking lights out.
1489
01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:47,724
Andy! No, no, no,
there's too many of them.
1490
01:17:55,440 --> 01:17:56,441
Pete.
1491
01:18:08,160 --> 01:18:09,161
Peter.
1492
01:18:09,240 --> 01:18:10,730
We gotta go.
Gary's right.
1493
01:18:10,760 --> 01:18:12,524
We gotta get to The King's Head.
Exactly.
1494
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:13,726
What?
[GRUNTS]
1495
01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:17,691
We are not going to The King's Head.
We're done.
1496
01:18:17,760 --> 01:18:19,649
We're going to do what we should
have done in the first place.
1497
01:18:19,720 --> 01:18:20,960
Get The Beast and
get out of here.
1498
01:18:21,320 --> 01:18:24,290
We are fucking leaving
and we are never coming back.
1499
01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:27,164
Now, you can either
come with us willingly
1500
01:18:27,240 --> 01:18:30,164
or I'm gonna knock you the fuck
out and carry you there myself.
1501
01:18:30,240 --> 01:18:32,242
You choose.
All right. All right.
1502
01:18:32,320 --> 01:18:35,961
Just think about what you're saying, you
know, because you have been drinking.
1503
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:37,041
You fuck.
1504
01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:56,484
STEVEN: Shit,
it's those fucking kids.
1505
01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:58,130
Not them again.
1506
01:19:02,960 --> 01:19:04,928
What the hell is that?
1507
01:19:05,000 --> 01:19:07,480
I don't know, but it's
definitely not modern art.
1508
01:19:17,320 --> 01:19:20,290
Oh, shit, we're trapped.
Where's The Beast?
1509
01:19:20,400 --> 01:19:24,769
Okay, all right. We're here, so
The Beast is in the next street.
1510
01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:25,921
How are we gonna
get to it?
1511
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:27,923
We'll have to go through.
Through where?
1512
01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:29,889
I don't fucking
believe this.
1513
01:19:31,560 --> 01:19:32,891
Number 10.
1514
01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:37,681
Come on.
1515
01:19:39,520 --> 01:19:40,521
[GRUNTS]
1516
01:19:40,960 --> 01:19:41,961
Let's go.
1517
01:19:42,520 --> 01:19:44,409
The back door, back door.
Let's go.
1518
01:19:45,360 --> 01:19:46,361
Here we go.
1519
01:19:49,520 --> 01:19:50,521
Okay, there it is.
1520
01:19:51,320 --> 01:19:52,321
Shit.
1521
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:56,646
We wait for an opening, and
then we leg it to The Beast.
1522
01:19:56,720 --> 01:19:58,324
We need the keys.
1523
01:20:00,840 --> 01:20:02,046
ANDY: Gary?
1524
01:20:04,360 --> 01:20:06,567
Gary, what are you doing?
1525
01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:09,290
Just a little toast.
1526
01:20:09,360 --> 01:20:12,284
Gary, put the
pint down, yeah?
1527
01:20:12,360 --> 01:20:15,409
To Oliver, Pete.
1528
01:20:16,600 --> 01:20:17,601
And to us.
1529
01:20:18,360 --> 01:20:20,408
You know, 'cause
10 pubs isn't bad.
1530
01:20:21,120 --> 01:20:24,567
It's not, but
we're calling time.
1531
01:20:26,560 --> 01:20:27,561
Okay.
1532
01:20:41,120 --> 01:20:42,121
[SIGHS]
1533
01:20:44,640 --> 01:20:45,926
So close.
1534
01:20:47,920 --> 01:20:48,967
Number 10.
1535
01:20:50,920 --> 01:20:51,921
Okay.
1536
01:20:52,600 --> 01:20:53,886
So close.
1537
01:20:59,280 --> 01:21:02,489
No, no, no, no,
no. Gary!
1538
01:21:04,000 --> 01:21:05,525
Gary! Gary!
1539
01:21:05,600 --> 01:21:08,001
Let him go.
He left you, man.
1540
01:21:08,720 --> 01:21:09,767
I can't.
1541
01:21:10,600 --> 01:21:11,601
Andy!
1542
01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:24,648
Gary! Gary!
1543
01:21:27,880 --> 01:21:30,645
Gary, come back! Come
back, you stupid bastard!
1544
01:21:54,680 --> 01:21:55,920
Gary!
1545
01:21:56,640 --> 01:21:58,961
Gary! Gary!
1546
01:22:06,160 --> 01:22:07,161
[GRUNTING]
1547
01:22:22,720 --> 01:22:24,290
Andy, look out!
1548
01:22:24,360 --> 01:22:25,850
[GRUNTING]
1549
01:22:41,240 --> 01:22:42,241
Come on!
1550
01:22:44,200 --> 01:22:45,201
What the...
1551
01:22:48,200 --> 01:22:50,487
STEVEN: Get in. Get in.
1552
01:22:51,320 --> 01:22:53,721
Gary, Andy, get the fuck in!
1553
01:22:54,080 --> 01:22:56,811
You heard him, Andy.
Get the fuck in.
1554
01:22:57,000 --> 01:22:58,809
We haven't much time!
1555
01:23:10,240 --> 01:23:12,846
Andy! Go, now!
Steven!
1556
01:23:13,880 --> 01:23:15,041
Go!
1557
01:23:30,920 --> 01:23:31,921
[GRUNTS]
1558
01:23:35,000 --> 01:23:36,001
Andy.
1559
01:23:37,840 --> 01:23:39,444
I want you inside me.
1560
01:23:40,560 --> 01:23:41,561
Okay.
1561
01:23:47,000 --> 01:23:48,001
Cheers.
1562
01:23:51,800 --> 01:23:53,131
[OPENS DOOR]
1563
01:23:53,840 --> 01:23:55,444
[PANTING]
1564
01:24:08,400 --> 01:24:09,731
Ah!
1565
01:24:10,240 --> 01:24:12,686
You've had enough!
This is The World's End, man!
1566
01:24:12,800 --> 01:24:13,926
I know!
1567
01:24:14,680 --> 01:24:15,681
Stop this!
1568
01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:19,971
Leave me alone!
What do you care anyway?
1569
01:24:20,040 --> 01:24:23,601
Of course I fucking care. There's
a reason I'm angry at you!
1570
01:24:23,680 --> 01:24:25,648
I know why you're angry
at me, okay?
1571
01:24:25,720 --> 01:24:28,246
But it's not my fault
that you crashed that car.
1572
01:24:28,320 --> 01:24:31,324
That's not the point.
You let me down, man.
1573
01:24:31,640 --> 01:24:34,484
You were Gary King.
Gary fucking King.
1574
01:24:35,320 --> 01:24:39,086
I would have followed you to the end.
[CHUCKLES] I fucking have!
1575
01:24:39,160 --> 01:24:41,367
Then stop following me!
[GRUNTS]
1576
01:24:46,320 --> 01:24:49,085
No! It's just one more.
1577
01:24:49,800 --> 01:24:51,609
Let me have this.
1578
01:24:52,840 --> 01:24:54,569
You've got everything
you want.
1579
01:24:54,640 --> 01:24:56,005
What are you talking about?
1580
01:24:56,080 --> 01:24:59,926
You've got your perfect job and your
perfect house and your perfect wife.
1581
01:25:00,000 --> 01:25:01,411
You think it's so perfect?
1582
01:25:04,200 --> 01:25:05,531
She left me, Gary.
1583
01:25:06,120 --> 01:25:08,327
She took the kids to her
mum's three weeks ago.
1584
01:25:08,400 --> 01:25:11,768
Said I'm not present enough.
I'm trying to win her back.
1585
01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:13,410
And God knows
I am losing.
1586
01:25:13,480 --> 01:25:17,530
But I will continue to fight,
because that is how we survive.
1587
01:25:18,720 --> 01:25:22,725
For fuck's sake, Gary, I just punched
my wedding ring out of a robot's tummy.
1588
01:25:22,800 --> 01:25:24,928
Exactly! You fight for
what's important.
1589
01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:26,968
But what is so important
about The Golden Mile?
1590
01:25:27,040 --> 01:25:28,565
It's all I've got!
1591
01:25:29,320 --> 01:25:30,446
Gary.
1592
01:25:30,760 --> 01:25:32,250
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1593
01:25:34,560 --> 01:25:35,561
[SCREAMS]
1594
01:25:51,920 --> 01:25:53,081
You need help, Gary.
1595
01:25:53,360 --> 01:25:56,807
I got help.
You know what help was?
1596
01:25:57,920 --> 01:25:59,922
Help was a lot of people
sitting in a circle
1597
01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:01,923
talking about how fucking
awful things had got.
1598
01:26:02,560 --> 01:26:04,847
That is not my idea
of a good time.
1599
01:26:04,920 --> 01:26:08,003
And this is? They told
me when to go to bed.
1600
01:26:09,240 --> 01:26:10,241
Me!
1601
01:26:11,040 --> 01:26:16,444
Gary, mate, how can you tell when
you're drunk if you're never sober?
1602
01:26:16,520 --> 01:26:18,409
I don't wanna be sober.
1603
01:26:19,840 --> 01:26:22,411
It never got better
than that night.
1604
01:26:23,000 --> 01:26:24,923
That was supposed to be
the beginning of my life.
1605
01:26:25,720 --> 01:26:28,610
All that promise
and fucking optimism.
1606
01:26:28,920 --> 01:26:32,367
That feeling like we could
take on the whole universe.
1607
01:26:33,040 --> 01:26:34,610
It was a big lie.
1608
01:26:36,400 --> 01:26:38,448
Nothing happened.
1609
01:26:38,520 --> 01:26:40,204
You don't need
to do this, Gary.
1610
01:26:43,400 --> 01:26:44,606
Yeah, I do.
1611
01:26:49,120 --> 01:26:50,645
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Please, stand by.
1612
01:26:52,720 --> 01:26:54,245
Please, stand by.
1613
01:26:56,640 --> 01:26:58,290
Please, stand by.
1614
01:27:00,520 --> 01:27:02,010
Please, stand by.
1615
01:27:04,640 --> 01:27:05,641
Ah!
1616
01:27:48,960 --> 01:27:50,291
What are you doing?
1617
01:27:50,360 --> 01:27:52,044
No, don't go out there.
1618
01:27:52,160 --> 01:27:54,845
THE LIGHT: Gary King.
1619
01:27:55,960 --> 01:27:57,200
Yeah?
1620
01:28:00,040 --> 01:28:02,884
Gary King of the humans.
1621
01:28:03,240 --> 01:28:05,049
Yeah. What do you want?
1622
01:28:05,400 --> 01:28:08,882
We are here to enable
your full potential,
1623
01:28:08,960 --> 01:28:12,328
as we have with countless
worlds across the galaxy.
1624
01:28:12,400 --> 01:28:14,971
Oh, yeah?
How'd you manage that, then?
1625
01:28:15,080 --> 01:28:17,526
We appropriate a small
percentage of the population
1626
01:28:17,600 --> 01:28:20,922
at 2,000 or so penetration
points across the planet.
1627
01:28:21,200 --> 01:28:24,010
This ensures maximum coverage.
1628
01:28:24,560 --> 01:28:29,964
From there, we create simulants
to spread our ideologies
1629
01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:31,724
through peaceful
indoctrination.
1630
01:28:32,360 --> 01:28:36,001
Our objective is simple,
to ready the population
1631
01:28:36,120 --> 01:28:38,726
for participation in
our galactic community.
1632
01:28:39,440 --> 01:28:43,286
This method requires
a small sacrifice.
1633
01:28:43,440 --> 01:28:45,727
But the fewer
replacements we make,
1634
01:28:45,840 --> 01:28:48,081
the more successful
we consider our operation.
1635
01:28:48,160 --> 01:28:52,722
Of course, we welcome those
who volunteer themselves.
1636
01:28:53,000 --> 01:28:57,767
We can offer attractive incentives
for those who willingly combine.
1637
01:28:58,360 --> 01:29:01,648
The chance to be young again and
yet retain selected memories.
1638
01:29:02,800 --> 01:29:05,167
Isn't that something
you'd like?
1639
01:29:06,040 --> 01:29:08,407
Something you've
always wanted?
1640
01:29:15,120 --> 01:29:16,121
[GASPS]
1641
01:29:17,920 --> 01:29:21,163
Oh, my God! I'm so cute!
1642
01:29:22,120 --> 01:29:25,727
The beauty of our system
is that we all win.
1643
01:29:25,960 --> 01:29:28,167
There are no losers.
1644
01:29:31,440 --> 01:29:34,125
Allow me to carry
your legend forward.
1645
01:29:34,960 --> 01:29:38,726
Let the man you have become
be the boy you were.
1646
01:29:41,080 --> 01:29:42,491
[CHUCKLES]
1647
01:29:48,080 --> 01:29:49,969
Nah. [GRUNTS]
1648
01:29:51,040 --> 01:29:53,008
There's only one Gary King.
1649
01:29:55,000 --> 01:30:00,484
Then you have made your choice,
Gary King of the humans.
1650
01:30:00,840 --> 01:30:02,251
Yeah, I have.
1651
01:30:02,320 --> 01:30:07,247
Because frankly, who the fuck are you to
come down here and tell us what to do?
1652
01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:11,769
We are The Network and we are
here for your betterment.
1653
01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:13,251
In the last 23 years,
1654
01:30:13,320 --> 01:30:16,290
have you not marveled as information
technology has surged forward?
1655
01:30:16,440 --> 01:30:17,771
No.
1656
01:30:17,840 --> 01:30:22,050
Earth has grown smaller yet greater
as connectivity has grown.
1657
01:30:22,120 --> 01:30:25,647
This is our doing and it
is just the beginning.
1658
01:30:25,720 --> 01:30:28,246
Oh, fuck off, you big lamp.
1659
01:30:28,480 --> 01:30:31,689
You are children
and you require guidance.
1660
01:30:32,200 --> 01:30:33,850
There is no room
for imperfection.
1661
01:30:34,160 --> 01:30:37,846
Hey, Earth isn't perfect, all right?
And humans aren't perfect.
1662
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:40,367
And guess what?
I ain't perfect.
1663
01:30:40,600 --> 01:30:43,763
And therein lies the necessity
for this intervention.
1664
01:30:43,840 --> 01:30:48,368
Must the galaxy be subjected to an
entire planet of people like you?
1665
01:30:48,440 --> 01:30:51,683
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1666
01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:54,048
Who put you in charge, huh?
1667
01:30:54,120 --> 01:30:56,441
Who are you to
criticize anyone?
1668
01:30:56,680 --> 01:30:58,887
Now, you might think
Gary's a bit of a cock,
1669
01:30:59,480 --> 01:31:02,802
and he is a bit of a cock,
but he's my cock.
1670
01:31:02,920 --> 01:31:04,285
Oh, thanks, man.
1671
01:31:04,360 --> 01:31:09,002
But he is a detriment to himself, just
as Earth is a detriment to the galaxy.
1672
01:31:09,080 --> 01:31:10,127
What did you say?
1673
01:31:10,200 --> 01:31:14,171
You act out the same cycles of
self-destruction again and again.
1674
01:31:14,280 --> 01:31:19,241
At this point your planet is the least
civilized in the entire galaxy.
1675
01:31:19,480 --> 01:31:22,245
What did he say? He's saying
we're a bunch of fuck-ups.
1676
01:31:22,520 --> 01:31:26,002
Hey, it's our basic human
right to be fuck-ups.
1677
01:31:26,080 --> 01:31:30,165
This civilization was founded on fuck-ups.
And you know what?
1678
01:31:30,280 --> 01:31:32,681
That makes me proud.
And me!
1679
01:31:32,760 --> 01:31:35,525
What is it they say?
"To err is..."
1680
01:31:36,080 --> 01:31:37,081
"To err is human."
1681
01:31:37,160 --> 01:31:40,721
"To err is human," so, uh...
1682
01:31:41,760 --> 01:31:44,570
We do not believe you
speak for all humanity.
1683
01:31:44,640 --> 01:31:47,689
You are but two men.
Two drunk men.
1684
01:31:47,760 --> 01:31:49,444
STEVEN: Three drunk men!
1685
01:31:50,600 --> 01:31:52,443
BOTH: Stevie-baby!
1686
01:31:52,520 --> 01:31:54,409
[ALL LAUGHING]
1687
01:31:54,480 --> 01:31:57,927
Enough! Enough, humans!
1688
01:31:58,560 --> 01:32:03,361
Oh, you are in trouble now. It's
only the fucking Three Musketeers.
1689
01:32:03,440 --> 01:32:07,331
You are revolting against the
wisdom of countless solar systems.
1690
01:32:07,400 --> 01:32:08,845
Yeah, we are revolting!
1691
01:32:09,520 --> 01:32:12,649
You just said you're not here to conquer.
Can I just ask,
1692
01:32:12,800 --> 01:32:15,644
how many people did you have
to replace in Newton Haven?
1693
01:32:15,800 --> 01:32:17,484
That is irrelevant.
Is it?
1694
01:32:17,960 --> 01:32:21,885
Hands up.
Who here is human?
1695
01:32:23,360 --> 01:32:24,930
I'm human.
One!
1696
01:32:25,920 --> 01:32:27,684
And me.
That's two.
1697
01:32:28,120 --> 01:32:30,202
I am. But don't
know for how long.
1698
01:32:30,280 --> 01:32:31,805
ALL: Basil!
Shh...
1699
01:32:31,840 --> 01:32:35,561
So what's that? Three? You had
to replace an entire town?
1700
01:32:35,640 --> 01:32:36,880
Not the entire town.
1701
01:32:36,960 --> 01:32:40,248
Everybody apart from old
Nutbowl and the Shifty twins.
1702
01:32:40,320 --> 01:32:42,288
That's a good name for a band, Gary.
You should write that down.
1703
01:32:42,360 --> 01:32:44,362
I will. What about the
ones you replaced,
1704
01:32:44,440 --> 01:32:45,885
like Peter and Oliver?
1705
01:32:45,960 --> 01:32:48,247
Yeah, what happened
to the empties?
1706
01:32:48,320 --> 01:32:50,243
BASIL: I told you
not to ask that!
1707
01:32:50,400 --> 01:32:53,927
Redundant vessels are recycled, mulched
and converted into fertilizer,
1708
01:32:54,000 --> 01:32:57,402
whereupon they are returned to the
earth to promote verdancy and growth.
1709
01:32:57,480 --> 01:33:00,131
It is a highly efficient
means of organic renewal.
1710
01:33:00,200 --> 01:33:01,440
Mulched?
1711
01:33:01,520 --> 01:33:03,841
It is a relative few in light
of our long-term plan.
1712
01:33:03,920 --> 01:33:07,163
You mean a few hundred thousand
turned to fucking compost?
1713
01:33:07,240 --> 01:33:09,527
What about the other places?
The penetration points.
1714
01:33:09,600 --> 01:33:10,647
[WHISTLES]
[BOTH GIGGLE]
1715
01:33:10,720 --> 01:33:12,609
Are they as successful
as Newton Haven?
1716
01:33:12,680 --> 01:33:15,604
Because I'm guessing we're not
the only glitch in your system.
1717
01:33:15,680 --> 01:33:19,162
It is true, The Network has been
experiencing some difficulties.
1718
01:33:19,280 --> 01:33:22,682
I think you bit off more than
you can chew with Earth, mate.
1719
01:33:22,760 --> 01:33:25,047
Yeah, 'cause we are more
belligerent, more stubborn
1720
01:33:25,160 --> 01:33:27,367
and more idiotic
than you can possibly imagine,
1721
01:33:27,480 --> 01:33:29,369
and I am not just
talking about Gary.
1722
01:33:29,440 --> 01:33:31,044
Yeah, there's more
than one Gary King.
1723
01:33:31,120 --> 01:33:34,044
But you said... I fucking
know what I fucking said!
1724
01:33:34,200 --> 01:33:38,285
Your reliance on profanity is a measure of
your immaturity as a man and a species.
1725
01:33:38,360 --> 01:33:42,604
Why don't you just get in your rocket and
fuck off back to Legoland, you cunts!
1726
01:33:42,720 --> 01:33:46,441
Yeah! Stop fucking
Starbucking us, man! Yeah!
1727
01:33:46,520 --> 01:33:48,204
It is our duty
to challenge you.
1728
01:33:48,280 --> 01:33:51,045
Just leave us to our own devices,
you intergalactic arseholes.
1729
01:33:51,120 --> 01:33:52,645
You misunderstand.
Shut up!
1730
01:33:52,720 --> 01:33:54,529
We are trying...
Nobody's listening!
1731
01:33:54,600 --> 01:33:55,601
If you'd only...-
1732
01:33:55,680 --> 01:34:00,891
Face it, we are the human race and
we don't like being told what to do.
1733
01:34:03,240 --> 01:34:05,322
Just what is it
that you want to do?
1734
01:34:06,240 --> 01:34:08,322
We want to be free!
Yeah.
1735
01:34:08,400 --> 01:34:10,448
We want to be free to
do what we want to do!
1736
01:34:10,520 --> 01:34:11,521
Yeah.
1737
01:34:11,600 --> 01:34:13,204
We want to get loaded.
Yeah.
1738
01:34:13,280 --> 01:34:15,169
And we want to
have a good time.
1739
01:34:15,240 --> 01:34:17,527
And that's what
we're going to do.
1740
01:34:18,560 --> 01:34:21,006
It is pointless
arguing with you.
1741
01:34:21,080 --> 01:34:24,129
You will be left to
your own devices.
1742
01:34:24,280 --> 01:34:25,884
Really?
1743
01:34:26,000 --> 01:34:27,081
Yeah.
1744
01:34:27,760 --> 01:34:28,761
Fuck it.
1745
01:34:38,440 --> 01:34:41,091
They fucked off.
[ALL LAUGHING]
1746
01:34:44,840 --> 01:34:49,289
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Up yours! Up yours! Up yours!
1747
01:34:49,600 --> 01:34:53,321
Yeah, we did it!
We won, we won!
1748
01:34:53,400 --> 01:34:54,401
[LAUGHING]
1749
01:34:57,240 --> 01:34:59,129
Gary, let's Boo-Boo.
1750
01:35:02,920 --> 01:35:04,445
Yeah, it's shit here,
innit?
1751
01:35:07,120 --> 01:35:09,441
Oi, up here!
1752
01:35:09,880 --> 01:35:10,881
Go!
1753
01:35:14,080 --> 01:35:15,081
Get up.
1754
01:35:15,560 --> 01:35:16,561
Come on!
1755
01:35:32,800 --> 01:35:34,450
Well done.
1756
01:35:34,640 --> 01:35:37,007
Thanks a bunch. Had to go
and spoil it, didn't you?
1757
01:35:37,080 --> 01:35:39,003
Yeah, happy now?
1758
01:35:39,840 --> 01:35:41,410
Basil, what do we do now?
1759
01:35:41,840 --> 01:35:43,490
Same as before.
1760
01:35:43,560 --> 01:35:45,369
Go!
1761
01:35:49,680 --> 01:35:50,841
Where's The Beast?
1762
01:35:51,960 --> 01:35:53,371
The Beast is dead,
mate.
1763
01:35:53,440 --> 01:35:56,728
You know what... You know
what's really annoying?
1764
01:35:56,800 --> 01:35:57,767
What?
1765
01:35:57,840 --> 01:36:00,525
I promised myself I
wouldn't die in this town.
1766
01:36:02,360 --> 01:36:04,010
You're not gonna.
1767
01:36:05,160 --> 01:36:07,083
I think our luck just changed.
1768
01:36:07,160 --> 01:36:08,764
[HORN HONKING]
Whoo-hoo!
1769
01:36:10,520 --> 01:36:11,521
Oh!
1770
01:36:11,920 --> 01:36:12,921
SAM: Sorry!
1771
01:36:13,000 --> 01:36:15,002
Sam?
Yes.
1772
01:36:15,120 --> 01:36:16,360
You came back for us!
1773
01:36:16,440 --> 01:36:19,284
Yes, I did. Well, I got lost
on the ring road. But, yes.
1774
01:36:19,520 --> 01:36:23,161
Hi, Sam, could you give us
a lift to London, please?
1775
01:36:23,240 --> 01:36:25,049
Did you find out what
happened to my brother?
1776
01:36:25,120 --> 01:36:26,167
We'll tell you on the way.
1777
01:36:28,120 --> 01:36:30,441
Sorry about the mess. I've
been meaning to clear that up.
1778
01:36:30,520 --> 01:36:32,727
We forgive you. Let's go.
Which way?
1779
01:36:33,600 --> 01:36:34,601
Backwards!
1780
01:36:56,120 --> 01:36:57,451
Which way now?
1781
01:36:58,160 --> 01:36:59,400
Go straight over!
1782
01:37:00,480 --> 01:37:01,766
[ALL SCREAMING]
1783
01:37:17,760 --> 01:37:19,250
We can make it.
1784
01:37:21,680 --> 01:37:22,761
We're gonna make it.
1785
01:37:30,400 --> 01:37:31,765
We made it!
1786
01:37:45,720 --> 01:37:47,006
[ALL COUGHING]
1787
01:38:25,640 --> 01:38:26,641
[GRUNTS]
1788
01:38:32,320 --> 01:38:33,810
I'm sorry.
1789
01:38:37,480 --> 01:38:38,720
I know.
1790
01:38:40,680 --> 01:38:41,886
I know.
1791
01:38:42,320 --> 01:38:43,765
ANDY: Everyone remembers
where they were
1792
01:38:43,840 --> 01:38:46,047
when the lights went out
on Planet Earth.
1793
01:38:46,160 --> 01:38:50,449
Me, Gary, Steven and Sam, we were
standing right by the switch.
1794
01:38:51,560 --> 01:38:54,404
I guess it was
a big night for everyone.
1795
01:38:55,040 --> 01:38:58,283
That morning gave a whole new
meaning to the word "hangover"
1796
01:38:59,680 --> 01:39:03,651
We decided to walk it off,
all the way back to London,
1797
01:39:04,520 --> 01:39:08,161
but the headache didn't end there.
It just went on and on.
1798
01:39:09,880 --> 01:39:11,530
Talk about the Big Smoke.
1799
01:39:13,200 --> 01:39:18,127
When The Network went down, it
triggered some kind of pulse,
1800
01:39:19,840 --> 01:39:21,763
wiped out all our technology
1801
01:39:23,720 --> 01:39:25,370
and sent us here,
1802
01:39:27,160 --> 01:39:29,208
back to the Dark Ages.
1803
01:39:30,400 --> 01:39:33,563
There were casualties, of course.
I knew a few of them.
1804
01:39:34,000 --> 01:39:37,846
Some guy from work, my
cousin Paul, Gary's mum.
1805
01:39:40,840 --> 01:39:43,161
Nobody really knew
how many we lost,
1806
01:39:43,240 --> 01:39:45,846
because we never heard from
the rest of the world again.
1807
01:39:45,920 --> 01:39:47,649
Everyone got cut off.
1808
01:39:48,600 --> 01:39:51,251
It isn't easy now,
but it is simpler.
1809
01:39:51,800 --> 01:39:54,167
I'm back with the wife,
which is something.
1810
01:39:54,240 --> 01:39:58,211
We decided our problems didn't seem
as bad in the grand scheme of things.
1811
01:39:58,280 --> 01:40:02,171
We all had to go organic in a
big way, but if I'm honest,
1812
01:40:02,240 --> 01:40:05,847
I'm hard pressed to recall any
processed foods I actually miss.
1813
01:40:09,760 --> 01:40:13,162
As for the blanks, well, a
funny thing happened there.
1814
01:40:14,080 --> 01:40:15,570
They woke up.
1815
01:40:15,920 --> 01:40:20,084
A week or so after The Network pulled out,
they just sort of rebooted by themselves,
1816
01:40:21,080 --> 01:40:22,764
tried to start afresh.
1817
01:40:24,360 --> 01:40:28,331
They seemed lost at first, children
cut off from their parents,
1818
01:40:29,000 --> 01:40:33,688
abandoned, forgotten, looking for guidance,
for someone to show them the way.
1819
01:40:34,840 --> 01:40:36,808
I felt a bit sorry for them,
to be honest.
1820
01:40:38,560 --> 01:40:40,324
The Network was right
about one thing.
1821
01:40:40,400 --> 01:40:42,767
We can be a bit uncivilized.
1822
01:40:43,440 --> 01:40:47,126
Maybe we would've been a bad
influence on the rest of the galaxy.
1823
01:40:47,960 --> 01:40:50,725
Oliver went back to
being an estate agent.
1824
01:40:50,800 --> 01:40:53,041
People still need a roof
over their heads,
1825
01:40:53,120 --> 01:40:55,487
and the old Ollie always
had a gift for the gab.
1826
01:40:55,640 --> 01:40:58,723
I guess the new one has, too.
[CHUCKLES]
1827
01:40:58,800 --> 01:41:00,484
He's doing all right.
1828
01:41:01,440 --> 01:41:04,046
I hear that the Peter found his
way home to Bishop's Gardens.
1829
01:41:04,360 --> 01:41:08,160
I suppose he picked up
where the other one left off.
1830
01:41:09,160 --> 01:41:11,481
I'm not sure his wife noticed.
1831
01:41:11,800 --> 01:41:16,089
Maybe she chose not to. He's a
pretty good dad by all accounts.
1832
01:41:18,240 --> 01:41:20,971
Steven and Sam got
together in the end.
1833
01:41:21,080 --> 01:41:22,969
Didn't see that coming.
1834
01:41:23,040 --> 01:41:25,247
They shacked up
just outside London.
1835
01:41:25,320 --> 01:41:27,607
It's a pretty nice shack, too.
1836
01:41:28,040 --> 01:41:31,169
As for Gary? I don't know
what happened to Gary.
1837
01:41:32,320 --> 01:41:35,290
We got separated and
I never saw him again.
1838
01:41:36,400 --> 01:41:39,882
Some say he went back to Newton Haven.
I don't know why.
1839
01:41:40,640 --> 01:41:42,642
I think his business
there was done.
1840
01:41:43,840 --> 01:41:46,684
It's funny,
but I miss him.
1841
01:41:47,680 --> 01:41:51,526
I wonder if he misses me.
Misses the boys.
1842
01:41:58,200 --> 01:42:00,680
Wherever he is,
I hope he's happy.
1843
01:42:01,040 --> 01:42:03,008
That's all he ever wanted,
really.
1844
01:42:03,080 --> 01:42:04,730
To have a good time.
1845
01:42:05,320 --> 01:42:08,403
I just hope he found it
beyond the bottom of a glass.
1846
01:42:09,560 --> 01:42:14,282
Because real happiness, real friends,
those are things worth living for,
1847
01:42:16,000 --> 01:42:17,684
worth fighting for.
1848
01:42:29,880 --> 01:42:31,245
Blank bastards.
1849
01:42:34,720 --> 01:42:36,404
Fucking robots.
1850
01:42:45,480 --> 01:42:47,084
Five waters, please.
1851
01:42:49,400 --> 01:42:50,925
You can have one.
1852
01:42:51,760 --> 01:42:53,569
But I ain't serving this scum.
1853
01:42:53,680 --> 01:42:56,729
Well, I'm afraid it's all
for one and one for all.
1854
01:42:56,920 --> 01:42:59,207
You see, my young friends
and I are on an adventure.
1855
01:42:59,280 --> 01:43:02,887
A quest, if you will. And since we
find ourselves in need of refreshment,
1856
01:43:02,960 --> 01:43:05,645
you, sir, have the honor
of drawing first blood.
1857
01:43:06,800 --> 01:43:08,882
So, I'll ask you again,
1858
01:43:09,280 --> 01:43:10,770
for the last time,
1859
01:43:12,120 --> 01:43:15,203
five waters, please.
1860
01:43:23,600 --> 01:43:26,046
Who the hell
do you think you are?
1861
01:43:26,440 --> 01:43:30,286
Me? They call me The King.
1862
01:43:30,600 --> 01:43:31,806
[SCREAMS]
1863
01:43:32,440 --> 01:43:34,329
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]