1 00:01:16,658 --> 00:01:19,828 We are gathered here today to immortalise in song, 2 00:01:19,953 --> 00:01:23,373 the life and untimely death of a great legend. 3 00:01:23,499 --> 00:01:25,834 - Rango. - So sit back, relax, 4 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,838 and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn and assorted confections, 5 00:01:29,963 --> 00:01:34,718 while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero 6 00:01:34,843 --> 00:01:38,263 who has yet to enter his own story. 7 00:01:52,986 --> 00:01:55,697 Crunchy, creamy, cookie, candy, cupcake. 8 00:01:57,032 --> 00:01:59,201 Okay, everybody, let's take it from the top. 9 00:02:00,577 --> 00:02:03,997 The stage is set, the night moist with apprehension. 10 00:02:04,122 --> 00:02:08,085 Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life. 11 00:02:08,835 --> 00:02:12,673 "It is far better to nourish worms than to live without love." 12 00:02:12,798 --> 00:02:14,716 She reaches for the poisoned chalice. 13 00:02:14,841 --> 00:02:18,136 Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne 14 00:02:18,679 --> 00:02:20,639 while her ageing father lies gravely ill. 15 00:02:21,181 --> 00:02:23,308 "Yes, I am gravely ill." 16 00:02:24,601 --> 00:02:26,645 "Hark, who goes there?" 17 00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:29,314 'Tis I, the much-anticipated hero, 18 00:02:29,439 --> 00:02:32,067 returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden! 19 00:02:32,192 --> 00:02:34,194 Unhand her, you jailers of virtue, 20 00:02:34,319 --> 00:02:37,155 or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance! 21 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,158 The sting of my... 22 00:02:42,828 --> 00:02:44,079 Dr Marx? 23 00:02:44,204 --> 00:02:46,832 Dr Marx, I'm not getting anything from you. 24 00:02:46,957 --> 00:02:50,836 People, we've talked about this. Acting is reacting. 25 00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:53,422 Victor, you were wooden! There, I said it. 26 00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:55,340 Mr Timms? You were good. 27 00:02:56,842 --> 00:02:58,510 Perhaps a little too good. 28 00:02:59,052 --> 00:03:02,848 What's that, Victor? My character's undefined? That's absurd. 29 00:03:02,973 --> 00:03:07,936 I know who I am. I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero. 30 00:03:08,061 --> 00:03:11,982 Every story needs a hero. I mean, who else is better qualified 31 00:03:12,107 --> 00:03:15,736 to bask in the adulation of his numerous companions? 32 00:03:34,755 --> 00:03:36,631 The stage is waiting. 33 00:03:37,090 --> 00:03:39,760 The audience thirsts for adventure. 34 00:03:42,095 --> 00:03:43,638 Who am I? 35 00:03:44,681 --> 00:03:46,183 I could be anyone. 36 00:03:46,683 --> 00:03:51,104 I could be the sea cap'n returning from a mighty voyage 37 00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:53,398 to reclaim his mechanical arm! 38 00:03:54,941 --> 00:03:59,029 Or I could be the rogue anthropologist, battling pythons down in the Congo! 39 00:03:59,154 --> 00:04:00,864 Down, Chongo, down! 40 00:04:01,656 --> 00:04:03,867 And if you desire romance, 41 00:04:05,327 --> 00:04:08,497 I will become the greatest lover the world has ever known! 42 00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:19,549 I couldn't help but notice you noticing me noticing you. 43 00:04:19,674 --> 00:04:23,386 You know, the womens find me uncomfortably good looking. 44 00:04:23,512 --> 00:04:25,931 But you seem remarkably at ease. 45 00:04:26,431 --> 00:04:28,225 Stop it. No, really. 46 00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:30,727 Well, if you must. What are you doing? 47 00:04:30,852 --> 00:04:32,812 That tickles. Are those real? 48 00:04:33,939 --> 00:04:36,107 That's it! Conflict. 49 00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:38,735 Victor, you were right. I have been undefined. 50 00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:43,949 People, I've had an epiphany. The hero cannot exist in a vacuum! 51 00:04:44,157 --> 00:04:47,160 What our story needs is an ironic, unexpected event 52 00:04:47,285 --> 00:04:50,038 that will propel the hero into conflict! 53 00:05:46,636 --> 00:05:47,721 Mr Timms? 54 00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:31,014 That's right! You! 55 00:06:32,432 --> 00:06:34,392 Don't be shy. Come on. 56 00:06:34,851 --> 00:06:36,603 It's okay. 57 00:06:36,728 --> 00:06:38,688 That's it, a little closer. 58 00:06:40,231 --> 00:06:41,357 Good. 59 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,651 I won't bite you. 60 00:06:45,904 --> 00:06:47,781 I need a little help here. 61 00:06:48,448 --> 00:06:49,657 Are you okay? 62 00:06:50,325 --> 00:06:52,786 I must get to the other side. 63 00:06:52,911 --> 00:06:55,663 The other side? You mean, just now, that was you crossing the road? 64 00:06:55,789 --> 00:06:57,040 That's why the... 65 00:06:58,249 --> 00:06:59,459 Why'd you do that? 66 00:06:59,584 --> 00:07:02,670 This is my quest. He waits for me. 67 00:07:02,796 --> 00:07:04,130 What? Who? 68 00:07:04,255 --> 00:07:07,801 The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one. 69 00:07:07,926 --> 00:07:12,263 They say he rides an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him. 70 00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:14,140 What are you talking about? 71 00:07:14,265 --> 00:07:17,602 Enlightenment. We are nothing without it. 72 00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:21,314 Nothing? Your delusional quest just ruined my life! 73 00:07:21,439 --> 00:07:23,858 I had an incredibly complex social network going! 74 00:07:23,983 --> 00:07:26,820 Highly sophisticated friends! I was very popular! 75 00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:29,030 Friends? I don't see no friends. 76 00:07:31,491 --> 00:07:32,534 You are a very lonely lizard. 77 00:07:34,911 --> 00:07:39,165 Now help me up and I will help you find what you seek. 78 00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:42,377 - You will? - Quickly. I must get back to my quest. 79 00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:46,005 - You mean you've done this before? - Yes. Many times. 80 00:07:46,714 --> 00:07:49,592 Come, come. That's it, pull my finger. 81 00:07:49,717 --> 00:07:51,678 The Spirit is waiting for me. 82 00:07:52,095 --> 00:07:53,513 Okay, okay. 83 00:07:58,977 --> 00:08:00,979 Okay. That's not going to work. 84 00:08:01,104 --> 00:08:02,105 I must get to the other side. 85 00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:06,568 Why don't you just wait until there are no cars coming? 86 00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:08,319 It's not so easy as it looks. 87 00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:09,445 What? 88 00:08:09,737 --> 00:08:10,947 Is a metaphor. 89 00:08:41,561 --> 00:08:42,645 There's another one! 90 00:08:44,564 --> 00:08:45,565 I knew it. 91 00:08:57,201 --> 00:08:58,953 You need a little help, amigo? 92 00:08:59,078 --> 00:09:02,081 I think the metaphor broke my spleen. 93 00:09:02,206 --> 00:09:04,751 The path to knowledge is fraught with consequence. 94 00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:07,670 I'm just looking for the path to water. 95 00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:12,467 If you want to find water, you must first find Dirt. 96 00:09:13,676 --> 00:09:14,969 Dirt. 97 00:09:15,803 --> 00:09:18,222 Destiny, she is kind to you. 98 00:09:18,348 --> 00:09:21,225 Tomorrow is Wednesday. The water comes. 99 00:09:22,268 --> 00:09:25,813 At noon, the townspeople gather for a mysterious ritual. 100 00:09:27,106 --> 00:09:30,777 A town? You mean, with real people and everything? Where? 101 00:09:30,902 --> 00:09:33,696 A day's journey. Follow your shadow. 102 00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:38,951 You want me to just walk out into the desert? 103 00:09:39,077 --> 00:09:40,119 That's the way. 104 00:09:40,244 --> 00:09:42,663 Okay. So you're saying 105 00:09:42,789 --> 00:09:46,292 there's a town, a real town, not a metaphor town. 106 00:09:46,417 --> 00:09:47,877 Go on. It's okay. 107 00:09:48,461 --> 00:09:49,545 Okay. 108 00:09:50,254 --> 00:09:51,631 Well, then, I'm going. 109 00:09:52,256 --> 00:09:55,093 I am leaving the road now! 110 00:09:55,676 --> 00:09:58,638 I'm walking into the desert! 111 00:09:59,263 --> 00:10:00,431 Alone! 112 00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:03,101 We all have our journeys to make! 113 00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:06,395 I will see you on the other side. 114 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:23,663 Welcome, amigo 115 00:10:23,788 --> 00:10:26,749 To the land without end 116 00:10:27,291 --> 00:10:30,044 The desert and death 117 00:10:30,169 --> 00:10:34,048 Are the closest of friends 118 00:10:34,173 --> 00:10:37,051 We sing of his courage 119 00:10:37,176 --> 00:10:40,346 In magnificent song 120 00:10:40,471 --> 00:10:43,266 But pay close attention 121 00:10:43,391 --> 00:10:46,269 He won't be here long 122 00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:53,734 As the birds pluck his eyes The sun bleaches his bones 123 00:10:53,860 --> 00:10:58,781 See his entrails get scattered Watch him lose his cojones 124 00:11:05,454 --> 00:11:07,707 Here in the Mojave Desert, 125 00:11:07,832 --> 00:11:13,045 animals have had millions of years to adapt to the harsh environment. 126 00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:16,382 But the lizard? He is going to die. 127 00:11:17,174 --> 00:11:20,136 "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers..." 128 00:11:20,261 --> 00:11:22,305 - Don't move. - What? 129 00:11:28,352 --> 00:11:30,229 - Don't move! - Not moving. 130 00:11:30,354 --> 00:11:31,397 Not moving. 131 00:11:31,522 --> 00:11:33,691 Try to blend in. 132 00:11:33,816 --> 00:11:35,359 Blend in? What do you mean? 133 00:11:39,155 --> 00:11:40,364 Blend in. 134 00:11:40,489 --> 00:11:42,199 What are you saying? 135 00:11:44,035 --> 00:11:45,578 - Too late. - No, no. It's not too late! 136 00:11:45,703 --> 00:11:47,913 I'm blending! I'm a blender! 137 00:11:48,247 --> 00:11:50,124 Hey, calm down! What are you doing? 138 00:11:53,294 --> 00:11:54,587 Stop moving! 139 00:11:55,254 --> 00:11:56,922 Try not to look conspicuous. 140 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,975 - What are you doing? - I'm blending. 141 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,894 - Go blend somewhere else. - Don't distract me. 142 00:12:10,019 --> 00:12:11,812 - No room at the inn. - It's an art, not a science. 143 00:12:11,937 --> 00:12:13,856 - Find your own hiding place. - No, this is good. 144 00:12:14,482 --> 00:12:16,650 Here she comes! You better run, Mojito! 145 00:12:16,776 --> 00:12:20,529 - What? I thought you said, "Don't move." - That was before. Now, you run. 146 00:13:07,952 --> 00:13:09,912 Oh, hey. Proboscis. 147 00:13:10,621 --> 00:13:11,622 Testy. 148 00:13:24,635 --> 00:13:28,472 Please, no, please. I have vertigo! My glands are swelling! 149 00:13:30,015 --> 00:13:31,142 Please, no. 150 00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:43,112 You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard! 151 00:13:43,237 --> 00:13:45,114 Get out of there. I'm going to strangle your huevos! 152 00:13:45,239 --> 00:13:46,991 Big bird! Big bird! 153 00:13:47,908 --> 00:13:50,578 No, wait! Come back! I was just kidding! 154 00:13:50,703 --> 00:13:52,580 - Come on, we're friends, right? - I don't know you! 155 00:13:52,705 --> 00:13:54,456 - Lizards, frogs... - Find your own hiding place! 156 00:13:54,582 --> 00:13:56,208 - We're practically related! - No room at the inn! 157 00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:57,710 - Come on, move over! - You're not my friend! 158 00:13:57,835 --> 00:13:59,920 I'll let you kiss my sister! 159 00:14:08,929 --> 00:14:10,556 You son of a... 160 00:15:05,486 --> 00:15:08,530 Where are your friends now, amigo? 161 00:15:37,101 --> 00:15:39,853 Get your slimy-webbed phalanges off my boots! 162 00:15:40,979 --> 00:15:41,980 Sorry. 163 00:15:42,106 --> 00:15:45,317 I got a bead on you, stranger. So you get up real slow 164 00:15:45,442 --> 00:15:46,860 lessen you want to spend the better part 165 00:15:46,985 --> 00:15:48,821 of the afternoon putting your face back together! 166 00:15:48,946 --> 00:15:51,615 - No, ma'am, I don't. - Who are you? 167 00:15:51,740 --> 00:15:54,034 - Who am I? - I'm asking the questions here! 168 00:15:54,159 --> 00:15:56,578 Our town is drying up. We're in the middle of a drought. 169 00:15:56,703 --> 00:15:58,414 Now someone's dumping water in the desert! 170 00:15:58,539 --> 00:16:00,624 It's a puzzle of undeterminable size and dimension, 171 00:16:00,749 --> 00:16:03,544 but I intend to find out what role you playing in all this. 172 00:16:03,669 --> 00:16:06,255 - Role? - What are you involved in? 173 00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:08,882 Well, I'm glad you asked. 174 00:16:09,007 --> 00:16:12,094 I've got two one-acts, a mystery and a musical I've been gestating. 175 00:16:12,219 --> 00:16:15,305 I got the words, I'm just working on the melody right now. It's like a... 176 00:16:17,516 --> 00:16:18,725 I think it's gonna be a western. 177 00:16:18,851 --> 00:16:21,436 A monkey got a cracker His mother was a slapper 178 00:16:21,562 --> 00:16:25,149 She'll be coming 'round the mountain in the rain 179 00:16:26,441 --> 00:16:29,319 You ain't from around here, are you? 180 00:16:30,529 --> 00:16:32,656 I'm still working on it. 181 00:16:34,283 --> 00:16:35,576 So, what's your name? 182 00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:38,203 - Beans. - That's a funny kind of name. 183 00:16:38,328 --> 00:16:41,248 What can I say? My daddy plumb loved baked beans. 184 00:16:41,373 --> 00:16:43,083 Well, you're lucky he didn't plumb love asparagus. 185 00:16:43,208 --> 00:16:44,376 What are you saying? 186 00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:46,545 I mean, I enjoy a hearty puttanesca myself, 187 00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:48,922 but I'm not sure that a child would appreciate the moniker. 188 00:16:49,047 --> 00:16:53,635 My daddy was a great man, even if he did exhibit a proclivity for legumes. 189 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,263 - Spicy. - You're eating his ashes! 190 00:16:57,681 --> 00:16:58,807 You carry his remains? 191 00:16:58,932 --> 00:17:02,185 No, his ashes. He loved to smoke. They never found the body. 192 00:17:02,311 --> 00:17:04,271 Well, I'm sure he had his reasons. 193 00:17:04,396 --> 00:17:06,356 - What are you implying? - Nothing. 194 00:17:06,481 --> 00:17:08,442 My daddy was never near that mine shaft. 195 00:17:08,567 --> 00:17:10,110 He'd been sober for over a month! 196 00:17:10,235 --> 00:17:13,155 And for you to insinuate that he would abandon his parental responsibilities 197 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:17,200 at a delicate time in my personal development is an affront to my sense... 198 00:17:20,913 --> 00:17:22,247 Miss Beans? 199 00:17:23,081 --> 00:17:25,500 Miss Beans? Hello? 200 00:17:27,502 --> 00:17:28,545 Hello? 201 00:17:44,853 --> 00:17:46,688 And until the people of Andromeda Five 202 00:17:46,813 --> 00:17:49,941 return him safe and sound, I will not sell my ranch! 203 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,654 - What... What are you doing? - What are you doing? 204 00:17:53,779 --> 00:17:55,614 - What am I doing? - You're cuddling me. 205 00:17:55,739 --> 00:17:57,115 - You were frozen. - I was not. 206 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,117 Yes, you were. You stopped talking. 207 00:17:59,242 --> 00:18:02,496 It's a defence mechanism. Actually, lots of lizards have it. 208 00:18:02,621 --> 00:18:03,789 You're making that up. 209 00:18:04,623 --> 00:18:06,833 So, you gonna die out here, or you want a ride into town? 210 00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:10,879 No, no, no. Yeah. No. Yes, please. Thank you. Sorry. 211 00:18:11,004 --> 00:18:14,716 Today's Wednesday. Wednesday's when we all get to it. 212 00:18:15,509 --> 00:18:16,927 So who are you, really? 213 00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,762 Well, I'm a man of many epithets. 214 00:18:18,887 --> 00:18:21,223 There's my stage name, my pen name, my avatar. 215 00:18:21,348 --> 00:18:23,850 I had a pseudonym once, but I had it legally changed. 216 00:18:23,975 --> 00:18:27,938 And so the stranger, seeking companionship, 217 00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:32,359 finds the woman, much like the sirens of ancient times 218 00:18:32,484 --> 00:18:36,738 luring him to his certain demise. 219 00:18:37,364 --> 00:18:39,116 ...nom de plume, I have a CB handle. 220 00:18:39,241 --> 00:18:40,909 I'm actually one of the few men with a maiden name. 221 00:18:41,034 --> 00:18:43,662 Whoa! Well, here we are. 222 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,170 Right. 223 00:18:52,295 --> 00:18:54,840 Well, I sure do appreciate this, Miss Beans, 224 00:18:54,965 --> 00:18:57,676 - and if there's ever anything that I... - Get on up! 225 00:18:58,343 --> 00:18:59,803 Okay, then! 226 00:19:00,345 --> 00:19:02,305 See you, Beans. 227 00:19:18,989 --> 00:19:20,115 You heading out, Jim? 228 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,326 Well, we gave it our best shot. We had to sell out. 229 00:19:23,452 --> 00:19:26,288 Can't grow no crops without no water. 230 00:19:27,664 --> 00:19:29,374 Bye, now! 231 00:19:34,254 --> 00:19:35,630 What is it? 232 00:19:38,925 --> 00:19:39,968 What was that for? 233 00:19:40,468 --> 00:19:41,761 You're funny looking. 234 00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:44,514 Oh, yeah? Well, you're funny looking, too. 235 00:19:44,639 --> 00:19:46,975 - That's a funny-looking shirt. - That's a funny-looking dress. 236 00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:49,477 - You got funny-looking eyes! - You got a funny-looking face! 237 00:19:50,562 --> 00:19:54,524 You're a stranger. Strangers don't last long here. 238 00:19:54,941 --> 00:19:57,027 Here's your beans, Beans. 239 00:19:57,152 --> 00:19:59,154 I'm gonna need some more feed, too, Willie. 240 00:19:59,279 --> 00:20:03,283 Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts already. I can't give you more credit. 241 00:20:03,408 --> 00:20:05,660 But I'll have what I owe you at noon. 242 00:20:05,785 --> 00:20:10,999 You don't understand. It's Mr Merrimack down at the bank. He cut off all credit. 243 00:20:11,124 --> 00:20:13,293 Hey, Beans! Beans! 244 00:20:13,501 --> 00:20:15,503 You know that there fella? 245 00:20:15,629 --> 00:20:17,130 Hey, Beans! Miss Beans! 246 00:20:17,631 --> 00:20:19,174 Nope. 247 00:20:19,299 --> 00:20:20,467 Hey, Beans! 248 00:20:20,717 --> 00:20:21,718 Hey. 249 00:20:23,511 --> 00:20:26,473 Right. Blend in. Yeah, blend in. 250 00:21:57,647 --> 00:21:59,482 I'd like a glass of water. 251 00:22:02,068 --> 00:22:03,153 He wants a glass of water! 252 00:22:03,278 --> 00:22:04,946 Make it a double! 253 00:22:05,071 --> 00:22:06,406 Give him the spittoon! 254 00:22:11,578 --> 00:22:13,955 Cactus juice. That's what we got. 255 00:22:38,813 --> 00:22:40,523 Hey, there, fruit cup. 256 00:22:40,648 --> 00:22:44,652 You're a long ways from home, ain't ya? 257 00:22:44,777 --> 00:22:47,238 Who exactly are you? 258 00:22:51,659 --> 00:22:52,911 Who am I? 259 00:22:54,746 --> 00:22:55,747 I could be anyone. 260 00:22:59,667 --> 00:23:03,838 What's the matter? You missing your mommy's mangos? 261 00:23:04,964 --> 00:23:07,091 As a matter of fact, I am. 262 00:23:08,051 --> 00:23:10,094 But not as much as your daddy's cooking! 263 00:23:12,430 --> 00:23:15,558 Exactly where did you say you were from? 264 00:23:15,683 --> 00:23:18,978 Me? I'm from the West. 265 00:23:19,103 --> 00:23:22,315 Out there, beyond the horizon. Past the sunset. 266 00:23:23,316 --> 00:23:24,943 The Far West. 267 00:23:26,986 --> 00:23:28,655 Yeah, that's right, hombres. 268 00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:31,491 The place I come from, we kill a man before breakfast 269 00:23:31,616 --> 00:23:33,743 just to work up an appetite. 270 00:23:34,452 --> 00:23:36,537 Then we salt him, and we pepper him. 271 00:23:36,663 --> 00:23:40,792 Then we braise him in clarified butter. And then we eat him. 272 00:23:40,917 --> 00:23:42,919 - You eat him? - That's what I said! 273 00:23:43,044 --> 00:23:47,131 Hell, I seen things make a grown man lose control of his glandular functions! 274 00:23:47,256 --> 00:23:50,426 You spend three days in a horse carcass, living off your own juices. 275 00:23:50,551 --> 00:23:53,388 It'll change a man. Oh, yeah. 276 00:23:55,807 --> 00:24:00,353 Had a few extra aces in this deck, gents. Just the way I like it. 277 00:24:00,728 --> 00:24:05,358 So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend, I am not from around these parts. 278 00:24:05,483 --> 00:24:07,777 You might say I'm from everywhere there's trouble brewing 279 00:24:07,902 --> 00:24:10,154 and hell waiting to be raised. 280 00:24:10,279 --> 00:24:13,658 You might say I'm what hell's already raised up. 281 00:24:14,951 --> 00:24:16,494 Name's 282 00:24:17,286 --> 00:24:18,871 Rango. 283 00:24:20,331 --> 00:24:21,499 Rango. 284 00:24:23,292 --> 00:24:25,378 Are you the fella that killed them Jenkins brothers? 285 00:24:26,587 --> 00:24:28,840 Killed them with one bullet. 286 00:24:28,965 --> 00:24:30,717 Don't get no deader. 287 00:24:30,842 --> 00:24:32,844 All seven of them? 288 00:24:33,970 --> 00:24:35,388 That's right. 289 00:24:35,972 --> 00:24:37,724 All seven of them. 290 00:24:38,641 --> 00:24:41,936 Exactly how you do that, Mr Rango? 291 00:24:44,522 --> 00:24:46,315 You know, I'm glad you asked me that. 292 00:24:46,441 --> 00:24:50,361 And I will be happy to tell you how. But you're all gonna have to listen up! 293 00:24:51,654 --> 00:24:53,865 Because this is where it gets 294 00:24:54,657 --> 00:24:56,284 complicated. 295 00:24:58,411 --> 00:25:01,289 That'll close out your account, Mrs Oats, two gulps and a swig. 296 00:25:01,414 --> 00:25:04,834 Hands off, Mordecai! That's what's left of your college education! 297 00:25:07,086 --> 00:25:09,338 I don't rightly have no other choice, Beans. 298 00:25:09,464 --> 00:25:13,551 Times being so hard, we just can't give no more credit. 299 00:25:14,218 --> 00:25:16,888 But this here is a bank. This is where you keep the water. 300 00:25:20,099 --> 00:25:24,395 Beans, you've been like a niece to me ever since your daddy 301 00:25:25,938 --> 00:25:29,484 did not fall drunk down a mine shaft. 302 00:25:29,609 --> 00:25:34,113 I've tried to protect you and others from certain realities. 303 00:25:34,238 --> 00:25:36,199 But that... Well... 304 00:25:36,782 --> 00:25:38,493 - Mr Merrimack? - Realities are bearing down. 305 00:25:38,618 --> 00:25:40,119 Mr Merrimack! 306 00:25:40,995 --> 00:25:42,163 Are you all right? 307 00:25:42,830 --> 00:25:46,292 Beans, I need to show you something. 308 00:25:54,050 --> 00:25:57,470 - That's all that's left? - And this here is the reserve! 309 00:25:57,595 --> 00:25:59,222 I don't know if you've noticed, 310 00:25:59,347 --> 00:26:02,808 but folks just ain't making deposits on a Wednesday no more! 311 00:26:02,934 --> 00:26:06,354 Mr Merrimack, if I don't get some water, I'm gonna lose my ranch 312 00:26:06,479 --> 00:26:08,814 and you're telling me that's all that's left in the whole town? 313 00:26:08,940 --> 00:26:12,068 Now that just don't make no sense. Now, listen. 314 00:26:12,193 --> 00:26:16,155 Someone is dumping water in the desert. 315 00:26:16,864 --> 00:26:19,575 I seen it with my own eyes. 316 00:26:21,410 --> 00:26:23,287 Water in the desert? 317 00:26:23,412 --> 00:26:26,415 Was this during one of your special times? 318 00:26:26,749 --> 00:26:27,750 No. 319 00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:31,921 Well, we can all dream, but this is the reality. 320 00:26:32,046 --> 00:26:35,633 Why do you think so many people are selling out? They just can't make it. 321 00:26:35,758 --> 00:26:38,177 Well, what am I supposed to do? 322 00:26:38,636 --> 00:26:41,305 Well, I suppose we could talk to the Mayor. 323 00:26:41,430 --> 00:26:44,558 I hear he's been helping people out in this time of crisis. 324 00:26:44,684 --> 00:26:45,768 The Mayor? 325 00:26:45,893 --> 00:26:48,562 He may be our only hope. 326 00:26:48,688 --> 00:26:51,607 Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back towards number three, 327 00:26:51,732 --> 00:26:53,067 and that's when the roof caved in, 328 00:26:53,192 --> 00:26:55,278 igniting the thermos of pure grain alcohol 329 00:26:55,403 --> 00:26:59,198 instantly vapourising his bodily form, leaving nothing but a charcoal statue 330 00:26:59,323 --> 00:27:01,409 and a high-pitched squeal. 331 00:27:07,206 --> 00:27:11,127 Hold on, there. That's only six. What happened to number seven? 332 00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:13,713 Number seven? 333 00:27:13,838 --> 00:27:16,132 Hell, he died of infection. 334 00:27:19,427 --> 00:27:21,429 - Seven men! - One bullet! 335 00:27:21,554 --> 00:27:23,514 Drinks all around! 336 00:27:26,392 --> 00:27:28,436 Dance for me, Sod Buster! 337 00:27:28,561 --> 00:27:31,272 - Yes, dance like a chicken! - That's right! Dance! 338 00:27:32,773 --> 00:27:34,900 You got corn in your ears, mate? 339 00:27:35,026 --> 00:27:37,945 You don't pay the mortgage, you don't own the land! 340 00:27:38,070 --> 00:27:41,115 - That's basic real estate law, my friend. - Quid pro quo! 341 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:44,285 If I see your face in this town again, 342 00:27:44,410 --> 00:27:48,789 I'm gonna slice it off and use it to wipe my unmentionables. 343 00:27:49,498 --> 00:27:50,666 Mind the beak. 344 00:27:51,876 --> 00:27:54,420 And don't come back! 345 00:27:56,255 --> 00:27:58,966 What are you all gawping at? 346 00:28:02,553 --> 00:28:06,056 Hey, Bad Bill, there's something I got to tell you! 347 00:28:10,728 --> 00:28:11,979 What is this? 348 00:28:12,104 --> 00:28:16,108 You know who that is, Bill? That there's Rango! 349 00:28:16,233 --> 00:28:20,029 Yeah, he ain't afraid of you! He ain't afraid of none of you. 350 00:28:20,154 --> 00:28:21,572 Killed them Jenkins brothers. 351 00:28:21,697 --> 00:28:24,575 - Done it with one bullet, Bill. - All seven of them! 352 00:28:25,284 --> 00:28:27,161 Is that right? 353 00:29:04,907 --> 00:29:07,117 Let me get that before you... 354 00:29:11,622 --> 00:29:13,332 No. Oh, I know. Here. 355 00:29:17,211 --> 00:29:19,713 Just take care of that for you. 356 00:29:20,548 --> 00:29:22,716 There. All better. 357 00:29:47,157 --> 00:29:49,702 T.O. T.O. Just a second. 358 00:29:52,037 --> 00:29:53,414 All right, now listen! 359 00:29:53,539 --> 00:29:56,750 I'm going to give you fellas one last chance to reconsider! 360 00:30:01,297 --> 00:30:04,508 And if you don't want to reconsider 361 00:30:04,633 --> 00:30:07,678 I might consider reconsidering myself. 362 00:30:19,064 --> 00:30:22,443 Now that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. 363 00:30:22,568 --> 00:30:24,153 All right, now listen up! 364 00:30:24,278 --> 00:30:27,281 Things are going to be different around here now that Rango's in town. 365 00:30:27,406 --> 00:30:30,451 Got some new rules! I want my shoes shined every morning, 366 00:30:30,576 --> 00:30:32,453 my coffee hot, Danish on the side. 367 00:30:32,578 --> 00:30:34,788 Whatever you do, don't look me in the eye. 368 00:30:34,913 --> 00:30:37,332 Stay out of my peripheral vision! 369 00:30:37,666 --> 00:30:39,418 - It's Rango. - What's he up to? 370 00:30:39,543 --> 00:30:42,671 He ain't afraid of nobody. He's telling that bird what's for! 371 00:30:42,796 --> 00:30:44,548 And when you see me coming, stand aside. 372 00:30:44,882 --> 00:30:47,634 I take large steps and I don't want none of you hayseeds 373 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,429 getting your bodily fluids on my boots! 374 00:30:51,889 --> 00:30:55,100 Of course, there is no need for violence, 375 00:30:55,225 --> 00:30:58,145 as long as we stick together, work as a team. 376 00:30:58,270 --> 00:31:01,648 So I want you all to come outside now and line up single file 377 00:31:01,774 --> 00:31:03,192 while I take a brief intermission! 378 00:31:06,111 --> 00:31:07,905 What's he doing now? 379 00:31:08,030 --> 00:31:09,573 I think it's a number two. 380 00:31:31,178 --> 00:31:33,096 Never mind. 381 00:31:54,076 --> 00:31:55,744 Take a look-see over here! 382 00:31:55,869 --> 00:31:57,079 Well, look at him now! 383 00:31:57,204 --> 00:31:59,039 He's chasing after that hawk! 384 00:31:59,164 --> 00:32:00,624 Give him hell, Rango! 385 00:33:53,278 --> 00:33:56,073 - Did you see that? - He killed that thing! 386 00:33:56,198 --> 00:33:57,783 What do you think, Doc? 387 00:33:58,575 --> 00:34:01,244 This hawk is dead! 388 00:34:01,912 --> 00:34:04,331 Shoot, I say we cook that right up. 389 00:34:04,456 --> 00:34:06,124 He did it with one bullet! 390 00:34:06,249 --> 00:34:07,751 Just like he said! 391 00:34:07,876 --> 00:34:09,586 It's about time we had a hero around here. 392 00:34:09,711 --> 00:34:11,922 One who ain't in a pine box. 393 00:34:12,631 --> 00:34:15,467 I think it's time he met the Mayor. 394 00:34:15,592 --> 00:34:18,512 You hear that, Rango? You're going to meet the Mayor! 395 00:34:18,637 --> 00:34:20,931 Let's hear it for Rango! 396 00:34:24,309 --> 00:34:26,728 And so the stranger basks 397 00:34:26,853 --> 00:34:30,190 in the adulation of his new friends, 398 00:34:30,315 --> 00:34:35,487 sinking deeper into the guacamole of his own deception. 399 00:34:35,612 --> 00:34:37,239 When is he going to die? 400 00:34:37,364 --> 00:34:39,783 Soon, compadre. Soon. 401 00:34:56,383 --> 00:34:58,343 My land is not for sale! 402 00:34:59,553 --> 00:35:02,055 I came here to save my land, not sell it! 403 00:35:02,180 --> 00:35:05,809 I'm sure there's something reasonable we can work out if you just talk to him! 404 00:35:07,227 --> 00:35:08,979 Beans! Where are you going? Beans? 405 00:35:09,563 --> 00:35:11,356 The Mayor will see you now. 406 00:35:16,862 --> 00:35:20,115 Water, Mr Rango, water. 407 00:35:20,615 --> 00:35:23,910 Without it, there's nothing but dust and decay. 408 00:35:24,035 --> 00:35:28,498 But with water there's life. 409 00:35:33,587 --> 00:35:35,755 Look at them, so desperate to live, they'll follow it anywhere. 410 00:35:36,423 --> 00:35:38,550 That's the immutable law of the desert. 411 00:35:40,468 --> 00:35:44,639 Control the water and you control everything. 412 00:35:44,764 --> 00:35:46,933 This is from my private stock. 413 00:35:47,058 --> 00:35:50,145 Vintage rainwater from the Great Deluge. 414 00:35:51,271 --> 00:35:53,481 Not Noah's deluge. Good heavens, I'm not that old. 415 00:35:57,152 --> 00:35:59,529 I guess power has its privileges. 416 00:36:00,113 --> 00:36:01,573 You make a good point, son. 417 00:36:02,782 --> 00:36:05,702 But with privilege comes responsibility. 418 00:36:07,370 --> 00:36:10,290 Hell, I was mayor here before there was a Dirt! 419 00:36:10,415 --> 00:36:13,710 And I may be just a sentimental old turtle 420 00:36:13,835 --> 00:36:18,798 but I think there's a future for this town. And I hope you'll be part of it. 421 00:36:20,967 --> 00:36:23,428 - To Dirt! - To Dirt. 422 00:36:26,556 --> 00:36:29,976 You see them, Mr Rango? All my friends and neighbours? 423 00:36:31,019 --> 00:36:34,314 It's a hard life here. Very hard. 424 00:36:35,315 --> 00:36:38,860 Do you know how they make it through each and every day? 425 00:36:38,985 --> 00:36:39,986 They believe. 426 00:36:40,653 --> 00:36:43,531 They believe it's going to be better. 427 00:36:43,656 --> 00:36:46,993 They believe that the water will come. 428 00:36:47,118 --> 00:36:49,579 They believe against all odds and all evidence 429 00:36:49,704 --> 00:36:51,873 that tomorrow will be better than today. 430 00:36:54,125 --> 00:36:55,627 People have to believe in something. 431 00:36:57,712 --> 00:37:00,757 Right now, they believe in you. 432 00:37:03,009 --> 00:37:07,222 Pick it up, Mr Rango. Your destiny awaits. 433 00:37:10,725 --> 00:37:14,145 People have to believe in something. 434 00:37:18,358 --> 00:37:19,359 It just don't make no sense. 435 00:37:21,194 --> 00:37:21,903 This whole town is drying up, 436 00:37:22,028 --> 00:37:24,614 and the Mayor is the only one who don't seem to be affected. 437 00:37:24,739 --> 00:37:26,699 Doesn't that make you just a wee bit suspicious? 438 00:37:26,866 --> 00:37:29,994 And what about that water I saw out in the desert? 439 00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:34,457 All right! No need to incite anxiety. I'll inquire about the Mayor. 440 00:37:34,582 --> 00:37:38,253 But if you really feel there's some conspiracy occurring, 441 00:37:38,378 --> 00:37:41,381 I suggest you take it up with the new sheriff. 442 00:37:42,757 --> 00:37:45,760 This is going to be good. Hey! Watch that needle there. 443 00:37:45,885 --> 00:37:47,303 Not too tight. I want to leave room for some pucker! 444 00:37:47,428 --> 00:37:48,429 That's good. 445 00:37:48,555 --> 00:37:49,556 Oh, easy there, tiger. 446 00:37:51,391 --> 00:37:52,433 - A little up and back? - I don't think so. 447 00:37:52,559 --> 00:37:53,685 Have you got French cuffs with that? 448 00:37:53,810 --> 00:37:55,103 Excuse me, Sheriff Rango. I want to talk to you. 449 00:37:55,228 --> 00:37:56,688 Hey, Beans, what do you think of the new duds? 450 00:37:56,813 --> 00:37:58,773 I got a 10-gallon hat marked down from 15. 451 00:37:58,898 --> 00:38:00,441 - That's nice. - Have you met Angelique? 452 00:38:00,567 --> 00:38:02,360 - Hello, Beans. - Hello, Angelique. 453 00:38:02,485 --> 00:38:03,486 - Tart. - Floozy. 454 00:38:03,611 --> 00:38:05,780 - Trollop. - Excuse me, Mr Rango. 455 00:38:05,905 --> 00:38:07,490 I will blow that ugly right off your face! 456 00:38:07,824 --> 00:38:09,784 I was just thinking that... 457 00:38:10,577 --> 00:38:12,245 You want the old John Hancock, do you? 458 00:38:12,370 --> 00:38:14,455 - Well, here. Hold this. - Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call. 459 00:38:14,581 --> 00:38:16,249 There's a bullet in there. 460 00:38:16,374 --> 00:38:17,876 I know about the shindig this afternoon. 461 00:38:18,001 --> 00:38:20,461 - I ordered myself some right fancy duds. - Sheriff, I'd like to file a... 462 00:38:20,587 --> 00:38:22,297 - Mr Rango! - Oh, you, too? No problem. 463 00:38:22,422 --> 00:38:24,007 - Here, let me just... - I need you to investigate... 464 00:38:24,132 --> 00:38:26,968 You know, Beans, I bet you clean up real nice, you put a little effort into it. 465 00:38:27,093 --> 00:38:28,261 - What? - Now, remember, son, 466 00:38:28,386 --> 00:38:30,889 stay in school, eat your veggies, burn everything but Shakespeare. 467 00:38:31,014 --> 00:38:32,599 - Who's Shakespeare? - Sheriff Rango, 468 00:38:33,099 --> 00:38:34,809 if that is your real name. 469 00:38:34,934 --> 00:38:37,103 I am trying to save my daddy's ranch, 470 00:38:37,228 --> 00:38:39,272 which is on the verge of an agricultural meltdown 471 00:38:39,397 --> 00:38:42,275 while you're playing patty-cake with this here trollop! 472 00:38:44,527 --> 00:38:47,822 Sad, really. Such a drab little thing. 473 00:38:48,531 --> 00:38:49,657 Why does she do that? 474 00:38:49,782 --> 00:38:52,994 - It's a survival reflex. - Her switch is just broken. 475 00:38:53,119 --> 00:38:54,537 Well, that's an inconvenience. 476 00:38:54,662 --> 00:38:57,248 It is not a rash! It is a birthmark! 477 00:38:58,958 --> 00:39:00,209 I did it again, didn't I? 478 00:39:00,335 --> 00:39:01,544 Did what? 479 00:39:01,961 --> 00:39:03,504 Let me ask you something. 480 00:39:03,630 --> 00:39:07,675 Did anybody here mention what happened to our last sheriff? 481 00:39:47,048 --> 00:39:51,386 Pardon, but may I ask you... Excuse me, may I ask you... 482 00:39:51,511 --> 00:39:55,306 The last sheriff... Pardon me. Where is everybody going? 483 00:39:55,890 --> 00:39:58,810 What exactly happened to the... 484 00:40:03,189 --> 00:40:04,732 All day 485 00:40:04,857 --> 00:40:08,820 I've faced the barren waste 486 00:40:09,362 --> 00:40:13,199 Without the taste of water 487 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:20,581 Cool water 488 00:40:24,043 --> 00:40:27,171 Old Dan and I 489 00:40:27,296 --> 00:40:29,257 With throats burned dry 490 00:40:29,841 --> 00:40:34,011 And souls that cry 491 00:40:34,137 --> 00:40:36,681 For water 492 00:40:37,431 --> 00:40:39,267 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 493 00:40:39,851 --> 00:40:41,769 Cool 494 00:40:42,395 --> 00:40:46,190 Clear water 495 00:40:49,569 --> 00:40:51,279 This is a heck of a hoedown you got going. 496 00:40:51,404 --> 00:40:53,156 Still working out those steps. 497 00:40:53,281 --> 00:40:57,118 So, is this considered normal civic behaviour? 498 00:40:57,243 --> 00:40:59,704 Every Wednesday, just like clockwork. 499 00:40:59,829 --> 00:41:01,539 You kill bird. 500 00:41:01,706 --> 00:41:04,500 Yeah. Matter of fact, I did. 501 00:41:04,625 --> 00:41:05,877 Bird dead. Snake come. 502 00:41:07,879 --> 00:41:08,880 Snake? 503 00:41:09,005 --> 00:41:10,006 He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr Rango. 504 00:41:10,131 --> 00:41:12,258 He never comes to town 'cause he's scared of that hawk. 505 00:41:12,383 --> 00:41:13,634 But he might come now. 506 00:41:13,759 --> 00:41:15,303 Can I have your boots when you're dead? 507 00:41:15,428 --> 00:41:16,470 No! 508 00:41:16,596 --> 00:41:18,931 And I ain't got no problem with this Rattlesnake Jake. 509 00:41:19,056 --> 00:41:20,683 That's just what Amos said. 510 00:41:20,975 --> 00:41:22,894 Amos? 511 00:41:26,272 --> 00:41:28,566 You got any gold fillings? 512 00:41:46,876 --> 00:41:49,420 My fellow Dirtonians. 513 00:41:49,545 --> 00:41:54,508 I welcome you to our great day of deliverance. Hallelujah. 514 00:41:54,634 --> 00:41:56,177 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 515 00:41:56,302 --> 00:41:59,805 Acolytes, prepare the holy spigot! 516 00:42:10,441 --> 00:42:13,736 We have a newcomer amongst us today, my friends. 517 00:42:13,861 --> 00:42:16,572 A man I think needs little introduction to you 518 00:42:16,697 --> 00:42:20,826 so bold has been his entry into our fair society. 519 00:42:20,951 --> 00:42:24,163 Mr Rango, would you step forward? 520 00:42:30,044 --> 00:42:34,340 The time has come, my friends. The time that was foretold! 521 00:42:34,465 --> 00:42:36,092 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 522 00:42:36,217 --> 00:42:37,593 The sacred time! 523 00:42:37,718 --> 00:42:39,470 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 524 00:42:39,595 --> 00:42:41,931 The time of destiny! 525 00:42:42,056 --> 00:42:43,599 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 526 00:42:43,724 --> 00:42:46,185 The time of deliverance! 527 00:42:46,310 --> 00:42:47,311 - Hallelujah! - Hallelujah! 528 00:42:47,436 --> 00:42:51,524 It is the time of hydration! 529 00:43:07,081 --> 00:43:09,458 - It's his fault! - It's the newcomer! 530 00:43:09,583 --> 00:43:11,252 - Burn him! - He's a witch! 531 00:43:11,377 --> 00:43:12,461 I get his boots! 532 00:43:12,586 --> 00:43:16,799 My friends, my friends! Temper your frustrations. 533 00:43:16,924 --> 00:43:21,971 Times will be tough from now on. Sacrifices will have to be made. 534 00:43:22,096 --> 00:43:25,724 But if I can help in any way, please know that my door is always... 535 00:43:25,850 --> 00:43:27,435 Hold it, hold it! 536 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,312 Now, this whole thing stinks three ways to Sunday. 537 00:43:30,438 --> 00:43:32,898 First the bank's run dry and now this here spigot? 538 00:43:33,023 --> 00:43:34,024 The bank's run dry? 539 00:43:34,150 --> 00:43:36,819 - What's she talking about? - She said there's no water in the bank! 540 00:43:42,116 --> 00:43:45,244 This is all we have! We can't give it all out! 541 00:43:45,369 --> 00:43:47,538 That was my rehydration account! 542 00:43:48,998 --> 00:43:52,960 None of that civil disobedience in my town, thank you very much. 543 00:43:55,588 --> 00:43:58,841 Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff. Things were getting out of hand. 544 00:43:58,966 --> 00:44:00,801 Come right in. 545 00:44:00,926 --> 00:44:04,930 Let me have a gander at the source of the societal discontentment here. 546 00:44:07,766 --> 00:44:09,143 Mercy. 547 00:44:09,268 --> 00:44:11,937 All right, listen up! I've been thinking 548 00:44:12,062 --> 00:44:14,815 and I believe I've figured something out. 549 00:44:14,940 --> 00:44:17,359 You folks have a water problem! 550 00:44:19,403 --> 00:44:21,989 Now just pay attention, everybody. I'm trying to make a point here. 551 00:44:22,114 --> 00:44:24,867 Let's say this fella here were to take a drink of water. 552 00:44:24,992 --> 00:44:27,745 Just one little drink. No harm, no foul, right? 553 00:44:30,956 --> 00:44:32,082 And you! 554 00:44:32,458 --> 00:44:35,169 You're just as dried up and parched as a jackrabbit in July. 555 00:44:35,294 --> 00:44:38,339 So you belly on up and take you a double shot! 556 00:44:39,590 --> 00:44:41,425 Stay with me. 557 00:44:42,343 --> 00:44:46,180 What do you think happens then? Why we'd all be drinking! 558 00:44:46,931 --> 00:44:49,808 And before you know it, there wouldn't be any more water. 559 00:44:49,934 --> 00:44:51,894 And then where would we be? 560 00:44:53,270 --> 00:44:54,980 We'd be thirsty. 561 00:44:55,564 --> 00:44:57,232 Real thirsty. 562 00:44:57,691 --> 00:45:00,152 We'd turn on each other like a bunch of animals! 563 00:45:02,821 --> 00:45:07,660 Now look here. We have got six days of water. 564 00:45:12,706 --> 00:45:15,376 We have got five days... 565 00:45:16,794 --> 00:45:20,506 As long as we've got water, we've got ourselves a town. 566 00:45:21,757 --> 00:45:23,634 Sheriff Rango is right. 567 00:45:23,759 --> 00:45:27,346 As long as we have this water, we have some hope. 568 00:45:27,471 --> 00:45:29,223 And you can all take it from me. 569 00:45:29,348 --> 00:45:32,768 My 100% full-time employment from this moment on 570 00:45:32,893 --> 00:45:36,814 will be to protect our precious natural resource. 571 00:45:36,939 --> 00:45:40,734 Ain't no one gonna tango with the Rango. 572 00:45:53,664 --> 00:45:54,873 Evening, ladies. 573 00:45:54,998 --> 00:45:56,750 Evening, Sheriff. 574 00:45:56,875 --> 00:45:58,961 And don't you come back! 575 00:45:59,086 --> 00:46:02,631 Hold on there, Gordy. You get back in there and you assert yourself, 576 00:46:02,756 --> 00:46:05,968 and I think you'll find the people of this here town to be surprisingly hospitable. 577 00:46:06,093 --> 00:46:07,344 Thank you, Sheriff. 578 00:46:07,469 --> 00:46:09,304 What? Not you again! 579 00:46:10,806 --> 00:46:12,558 I stand corrected. 580 00:46:18,689 --> 00:46:21,191 - This ain't the bank. - I told you, Jedidiah! 581 00:46:21,316 --> 00:46:22,568 Hold it right there! 582 00:46:22,693 --> 00:46:23,944 - Who's that? - It's the Sheriff! 583 00:46:24,069 --> 00:46:25,696 Get them hands up where I can see them! 584 00:46:26,447 --> 00:46:28,490 Just as I suspected. 585 00:46:28,615 --> 00:46:31,326 Prospecting without the authorised equipment. Don't move a muscle. 586 00:46:32,161 --> 00:46:33,620 Prospecting? 587 00:46:37,749 --> 00:46:40,461 Now, you got your shovel, pickaxe, Benadryl, loofah, 588 00:46:40,586 --> 00:46:43,797 assorted snacks, some puzzle books and you're gonna need a permit. 589 00:46:43,922 --> 00:46:45,591 - Loofah. - Ezekiel, Jedidiah! 590 00:46:45,716 --> 00:46:47,926 What the Sam Hill's going on up there? 591 00:46:48,051 --> 00:46:51,597 I've had polyps removed smarter than the two of you! 592 00:46:52,097 --> 00:46:54,266 Hell's fire, this ain't the bank! 593 00:46:54,433 --> 00:46:57,978 Pappy, the Sheriff is standing right here, helping us out. 594 00:46:58,103 --> 00:47:00,814 Gonna give us a permit for prospecting. 595 00:47:00,939 --> 00:47:03,484 That's right, sir. Just doing my duty. 596 00:47:04,276 --> 00:47:06,320 The lonely constable on his rounds, 597 00:47:06,445 --> 00:47:08,739 keeping an eagle eye out for mayhem and malfeasance. 598 00:47:09,323 --> 00:47:11,283 Does he look like he sounds? 599 00:47:12,784 --> 00:47:16,538 Well, Sheriff, if we was to hit the mother lode, 600 00:47:16,663 --> 00:47:18,749 being prospectors and such, 601 00:47:18,874 --> 00:47:22,002 where would we deposit said annuity? 602 00:47:22,127 --> 00:47:24,046 Here in the town of Dirt, we happen to have 603 00:47:24,171 --> 00:47:26,965 the finest financial institution this side of the Missouri. 604 00:47:28,759 --> 00:47:31,303 Protected morning, noon and night by yours truly. 605 00:47:33,096 --> 00:47:35,057 Much obliged. 606 00:47:35,307 --> 00:47:38,143 The bank's been robbed! The bank's been robbed! 607 00:47:38,268 --> 00:47:40,687 Good Lord, the bank's been robbed! 608 00:47:40,812 --> 00:47:42,189 What's going on? 609 00:47:42,314 --> 00:47:44,483 - It's gone! The water's all gone! - What'd he say? 610 00:47:44,608 --> 00:47:45,859 He said the bank's been robbed! 611 00:47:46,818 --> 00:47:49,613 Dr Marx! I'm on fire! Embrace me! 612 00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:54,868 The bank's been robbed, the town is dry "We'll die of thirst," the people cry 613 00:47:54,993 --> 00:47:59,498 He promised to protect the vault The water's gone, it's all his fault 614 00:48:00,207 --> 00:48:02,125 All right, folks, stand back, clear the area. 615 00:48:02,251 --> 00:48:03,543 This is a crime scene now. 616 00:48:03,669 --> 00:48:06,755 Secure the perimeter, dust for prints, check for fibres, scan for DNA. 617 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,549 I want a urine sample from everyone. And get me a latte. 618 00:48:09,675 --> 00:48:10,968 And don't mix up the two. 619 00:48:11,093 --> 00:48:12,219 What's this? 620 00:48:12,344 --> 00:48:13,971 "Prospecting Permit." 621 00:48:14,096 --> 00:48:15,847 I'll take that. Material evidence. 622 00:48:15,973 --> 00:48:17,474 What are we gonna do now, Sheriff? 623 00:48:17,599 --> 00:48:20,268 - We need that water. - We're all going to die! 624 00:48:20,394 --> 00:48:23,981 My friends, we all know what we have to do now. 625 00:48:24,106 --> 00:48:27,859 That's right. We all know what we have to do now. 626 00:48:27,985 --> 00:48:29,987 - And that would be? - Form a posse. 627 00:48:30,112 --> 00:48:31,947 Form a possum! 628 00:48:34,241 --> 00:48:35,867 A posse. 629 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,205 Now, we're gonna be doing this in an orderly fashion. 630 00:48:40,831 --> 00:48:45,711 First off, does anybody here know how to use a firearm of any kind? 631 00:48:48,213 --> 00:48:49,798 All right, then. 632 00:48:49,923 --> 00:48:51,425 What do we do now, Sheriff? 633 00:48:51,550 --> 00:48:54,219 Now we ride! 634 00:49:07,232 --> 00:49:09,609 Where are we going? 635 00:49:09,735 --> 00:49:10,944 What? 636 00:49:11,069 --> 00:49:12,863 Where are we going? 637 00:49:21,163 --> 00:49:24,040 Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge of all tracking and finding of villains, 638 00:49:24,166 --> 00:49:26,960 utilising your well-developed Injun-uity, no offence taken. 639 00:49:27,085 --> 00:49:28,295 So which way do you think they went? 640 00:49:28,420 --> 00:49:30,964 You want to sniff the air or commune with a buffalo or something? 641 00:49:34,718 --> 00:49:36,553 Oh, you're good. 642 00:49:39,181 --> 00:49:40,849 I'm depending on you, Spoons. 643 00:49:40,974 --> 00:49:43,602 You got a little tobaccy in the beard there. 644 00:49:43,727 --> 00:49:46,646 Always good to have a medical man along, Doc. 645 00:49:46,772 --> 00:49:49,483 Reptiles got to stick together, right, my brother? 646 00:49:49,608 --> 00:49:50,859 I'm an amphibian. 647 00:49:50,984 --> 00:49:52,486 Ain't no shame in that. 648 00:49:55,780 --> 00:49:58,241 You sure you're fit for duty there, soldier? 649 00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:01,953 Well, you got a little something in your eye there. 650 00:50:02,746 --> 00:50:06,500 Oh, that? That there's conjunctivitis, sir. It's hereditary. 651 00:50:07,542 --> 00:50:10,420 Well, I'm glad to hear it's not contagious. 652 00:50:11,129 --> 00:50:14,758 Now, just wait a cotton-picking minute! A posse ain't no place for a... 653 00:50:15,550 --> 00:50:16,843 Never mind. 654 00:50:16,968 --> 00:50:18,887 Hold on there, little sister. 655 00:50:19,012 --> 00:50:21,681 Someone's gonna have to look after the town while I'm gone. 656 00:50:23,558 --> 00:50:24,935 Can I gut-shoot someone? 657 00:50:26,311 --> 00:50:28,313 Let's put a pin in that. 658 00:50:28,855 --> 00:50:31,775 Sheriff, you're going to bring that water back, aren't you? 659 00:50:32,692 --> 00:50:34,152 Count on it, little sister. 660 00:50:37,614 --> 00:50:40,784 - Which way do we go, Sheriff? - There's tunnels everywhere. 661 00:50:40,909 --> 00:50:42,661 Whole town's perforated with them. 662 00:50:42,786 --> 00:50:45,664 How'd them fellers find the bank, anyway? 663 00:50:45,789 --> 00:50:47,874 Gentlemen, if we can just stay on task here. 664 00:50:47,999 --> 00:50:50,502 Sheriff! Over here! 665 00:50:56,091 --> 00:50:57,008 - Would you look at that? - Like seeing the face of God. 666 00:50:57,133 --> 00:50:58,343 Amen, brother. 667 00:50:58,468 --> 00:51:01,012 I remember when it used to flow every Wednesday. 668 00:51:01,137 --> 00:51:03,098 Those were the halcyon days. 669 00:51:03,223 --> 00:51:04,432 Must be a reason she quit on us. 670 00:51:06,142 --> 00:51:09,729 Whatever the reason, something is controlling this here water. 671 00:51:09,854 --> 00:51:11,022 What do you say, Sheriff? 672 00:51:12,524 --> 00:51:15,485 Clearly, the robbers came from this direction. 673 00:51:15,610 --> 00:51:17,988 I say we track this pipe back to its hydraulic origin 674 00:51:18,113 --> 00:51:20,573 and apprehend the culprits behind this aquatic conundrum. 675 00:51:20,699 --> 00:51:22,993 - What'd he say? - I think he said follow the pipe. 676 00:51:23,118 --> 00:51:24,327 - He said follow the pipe. - He said follow the pipe. 677 00:51:36,548 --> 00:51:40,844 Whatever you do, do not look down. 678 00:51:43,388 --> 00:51:46,474 - What is this place? - It's an aquifer. 679 00:51:48,393 --> 00:51:49,853 What's an aquifer? 680 00:51:49,978 --> 00:51:51,938 Well, it's for aqua. 681 00:51:52,981 --> 00:51:54,816 Well, it's empty now. 682 00:52:13,543 --> 00:52:14,544 That's a big one. 683 00:52:18,673 --> 00:52:21,384 - It's the end of the line. - Don't go no further. 684 00:52:21,509 --> 00:52:25,138 Someone or something is messing with our hydration 685 00:52:25,263 --> 00:52:27,182 and that pipe has got something to do with it. 686 00:52:27,307 --> 00:52:29,100 I thought we was following bank robbers! 687 00:52:29,225 --> 00:52:31,478 We're experiencing a paradigm shift. 688 00:52:31,603 --> 00:52:33,646 I'm gonna shift the features on your face if you don't shut up! 689 00:52:33,772 --> 00:52:34,773 Go ahead and try! 690 00:52:37,150 --> 00:52:39,903 Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling. You're affecting my cogitation. 691 00:52:42,322 --> 00:52:45,283 Whoa! I got it. Snuff out them torches. 692 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:52,081 Sure enough. 693 00:52:52,707 --> 00:52:54,417 Smart thinking there, feller. 694 00:52:54,542 --> 00:52:57,212 - Start climbing. - Get your foot out of my face! 695 00:52:57,337 --> 00:52:58,838 Not bad, huh, Beans? 696 00:52:58,963 --> 00:53:01,341 You keep thinking like that, your hat's gonna catch on fire. 697 00:53:01,466 --> 00:53:03,885 Well, you know, you get on a roll, you just... 698 00:53:04,761 --> 00:53:06,054 Hot, hot! Burn. 699 00:53:17,482 --> 00:53:20,818 Poor things. All they wanted was a little water. 700 00:53:20,944 --> 00:53:24,364 Cactus dying of thirst. It don't bode well. 701 00:53:24,489 --> 00:53:26,157 - Hey, look what I found! - What you got there? 702 00:53:26,282 --> 00:53:29,160 - I saw that first! - Hey, that's mine! 703 00:53:29,285 --> 00:53:30,828 Give me that! 704 00:53:30,954 --> 00:53:32,914 It's empty anyway. 705 00:53:33,039 --> 00:53:34,457 I knew that. 706 00:53:34,582 --> 00:53:35,833 Where'd you find that? 707 00:53:35,959 --> 00:53:38,753 Sheriff! You're going to want to see this! 708 00:53:42,465 --> 00:53:44,133 It's Mr Merrimack from the bank. 709 00:53:44,259 --> 00:53:45,635 What's he doing here? 710 00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:47,262 - Everybody stand back. - All right, let me see. 711 00:53:47,387 --> 00:53:49,847 Looks like them varmints shot him in the back. 712 00:53:49,973 --> 00:53:54,102 No, this man wasn't shot. He was drowned! 713 00:53:54,227 --> 00:53:56,854 - Drowned? - In the middle of the desert? 714 00:53:56,980 --> 00:53:58,690 What a way to go. 715 00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:04,112 Well, now, whose boot prints are those? 716 00:54:07,991 --> 00:54:10,368 That's interesting. The ground's still wet. 717 00:54:12,078 --> 00:54:13,830 I suppose we should bury him. 718 00:54:13,955 --> 00:54:17,542 - I don't know. Birds got to eat, too. - Circle of life! 719 00:54:18,668 --> 00:54:21,462 Hey! What's that dad-gum Indian doing? 720 00:54:25,842 --> 00:54:28,511 I see you're consulting with the spirits. 721 00:54:28,636 --> 00:54:30,680 No, I'm moulting. Means I'm ready to mate. 722 00:54:33,141 --> 00:54:34,642 I'll keep that in mind. 723 00:54:35,351 --> 00:54:36,436 Cactus fruit. 724 00:54:36,561 --> 00:54:39,314 Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit. 725 00:54:39,439 --> 00:54:41,190 I believe your people use it as seasoning 726 00:54:41,316 --> 00:54:42,734 when preparing your native dishes. 727 00:54:42,859 --> 00:54:44,652 Also natural laxative. 728 00:54:46,362 --> 00:54:47,405 Pick up trail. 729 00:54:47,530 --> 00:54:50,950 Three men heading west. One blind, one with 730 00:54:52,618 --> 00:54:54,996 enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle. 731 00:54:55,121 --> 00:54:58,374 - What did he say? - They're riding sidesaddle. 732 00:54:58,499 --> 00:54:59,876 - We're whispering. - What'd he say? 733 00:55:00,001 --> 00:55:01,085 Someone's got a bad valve. 734 00:55:01,210 --> 00:55:04,130 All right, which one of you fellers needs a check-up? 735 00:55:05,131 --> 00:55:06,215 Awkward. 736 00:55:07,592 --> 00:55:10,845 What exactly are we going to do now? 737 00:55:11,512 --> 00:55:13,848 Now we ride! 738 00:55:18,728 --> 00:55:22,398 That means we're riding now! This moment. 739 00:56:05,857 --> 00:56:08,235 Marshmallows remind me of going camping with my daddy. 740 00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:10,487 I could eat them all night long. 741 00:56:12,322 --> 00:56:15,492 Of course he did make me cough them back up again for breakfast. 742 00:56:17,202 --> 00:56:20,330 This one time, I coughed up an entire Dalmatian. 743 00:56:20,455 --> 00:56:24,251 That ain't nothing. I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies. 744 00:56:25,293 --> 00:56:27,212 They started looking at me weird. 745 00:56:27,337 --> 00:56:30,590 I remember them. They was quite friendly. 746 00:56:30,716 --> 00:56:34,219 I found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once. 747 00:56:37,347 --> 00:56:39,891 You might want to get that looked at. 748 00:56:41,268 --> 00:56:43,145 Pass the beans, Beans. 749 00:56:43,270 --> 00:56:44,938 - Sheriff? - No, thanks. 750 00:56:45,063 --> 00:56:49,443 Mr Rango? Can you tell us about the Spirit of the West? 751 00:56:50,277 --> 00:56:53,363 - Yeah, tell us about that. - Is it true what they say? 752 00:56:53,488 --> 00:56:57,117 Yes, the Spirit of the West! 753 00:56:57,242 --> 00:56:59,619 The eternally unattainable ideal. 754 00:57:00,078 --> 00:57:02,664 They say he rides in an alabaster carriage 755 00:57:02,789 --> 00:57:04,333 with golden guardians to protect him. 756 00:57:05,500 --> 00:57:08,378 But he only appears to those who have undertaken an epic quest! 757 00:57:09,171 --> 00:57:10,547 And have made it 758 00:57:10,922 --> 00:57:12,883 to the other side. 759 00:57:17,220 --> 00:57:18,430 The other side of what? 760 00:57:18,930 --> 00:57:20,474 It's a metaphor. 761 00:57:20,599 --> 00:57:21,600 My eye! 762 00:57:21,725 --> 00:57:23,226 That's gonna heal right up. 763 00:57:23,352 --> 00:57:27,314 Sheriff? What are you going to do about Rattlesnake Jake? 764 00:57:27,898 --> 00:57:28,899 What? Where? 765 00:57:30,692 --> 00:57:34,613 Sorry about that. Word is you come against him once or twice. 766 00:57:35,697 --> 00:57:36,990 Yeah. 767 00:57:37,115 --> 00:57:39,076 Jake. You mean my brother. 768 00:57:39,201 --> 00:57:41,036 - Your brother? - That's what I said! 769 00:57:41,870 --> 00:57:44,414 But he's a snake and you're a lizard. 770 00:57:44,873 --> 00:57:47,292 Well, Momma had an active social life. 771 00:57:48,752 --> 00:57:49,836 Did he ever bite you? 772 00:57:49,961 --> 00:57:53,340 Sure enough did. Look at that baby. Go ahead, you can touch it. 773 00:57:53,465 --> 00:57:57,344 That's interesting. That there's a belly button. 774 00:57:57,511 --> 00:57:59,012 Luckily, I'm immune to his venom. 775 00:57:59,137 --> 00:58:01,014 Put some in my coffee just to give it a little tang. 776 00:58:01,139 --> 00:58:03,058 Is it true he's only scared of them hawks? 777 00:58:03,183 --> 00:58:06,770 Them's what we call his natural predator. 778 00:58:08,563 --> 00:58:11,692 All this talk of that serpentine devil is putting my quills on edge! 779 00:58:11,817 --> 00:58:13,777 I ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir. 780 00:58:13,902 --> 00:58:17,030 Don't you all worry about a thing. Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water 781 00:58:17,155 --> 00:58:19,116 and return to a hero's welcome. 782 00:58:20,283 --> 00:58:22,786 Friends, before we bunk down 783 00:58:22,911 --> 00:58:25,330 I'd like us all to join hands for a moment, 784 00:58:25,455 --> 00:58:28,166 say a few words to the Spirit of the West. 785 00:58:28,291 --> 00:58:29,876 That's a good idea. 786 00:58:32,045 --> 00:58:35,007 Ain't always spoken rightly to you, Spirit of the West. 787 00:58:35,424 --> 00:58:41,013 But tonight I want to thank you for bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives. 788 00:58:41,972 --> 00:58:43,682 It's a hard life we got. 789 00:58:43,807 --> 00:58:46,685 Sometimes I don't know how we're gonna make it. 790 00:58:47,185 --> 00:58:50,605 But somehow, Sheriff Rango makes me think we will. 791 00:58:51,648 --> 00:58:54,484 We needed a brave man and you sent us one. 792 00:58:55,652 --> 00:58:58,655 Nice to have someone to believe in again. 793 00:58:58,780 --> 00:59:02,367 Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen. 794 00:59:03,368 --> 00:59:05,203 - Amen. - Amen. 795 00:59:37,069 --> 00:59:38,862 Just checking. 796 00:59:41,448 --> 00:59:44,159 - It's a little cold tonight. - Thank you. 797 00:59:46,745 --> 00:59:49,539 You ever feel like those things are looking at you? 798 00:59:49,706 --> 00:59:51,375 That's a Spanish dagger. 799 00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:54,294 But around here, we just call them the Walking Cactus. 800 00:59:54,419 --> 00:59:55,462 Walking? 801 00:59:55,587 --> 00:59:59,424 There's an old legend they actually walk across the desert to find water. 802 00:59:59,549 --> 01:00:03,303 When I was a little girl, I'd stay up late watching them, to see if they'd move. 803 01:00:03,428 --> 01:00:07,474 I thought if I could follow them, they'd lead me to someplace wonderful. 804 01:00:07,599 --> 01:00:11,228 Someplace with enough water for everyone. 805 01:00:12,145 --> 01:00:16,650 Night after night, I watched them. I never saw them move. 806 01:00:17,567 --> 01:00:18,652 But you're still watching. 807 01:00:19,236 --> 01:00:21,780 Who doesn't want to find someplace wonderful? 808 01:00:22,572 --> 01:00:25,534 We'll find the water, Beans. I promise you. 809 01:00:28,996 --> 01:00:31,331 That's such a lonely sound. 810 01:00:32,207 --> 01:00:34,167 You ever get lonely? 811 01:00:34,292 --> 01:00:35,627 Sometimes. 812 01:00:35,752 --> 01:00:40,257 I can't imagine it. You're such a charmer and everyone likes you so much. 813 01:00:40,799 --> 01:00:43,760 - I never made friends easy like that. - No? 814 01:00:44,553 --> 01:00:47,014 No, we're pretty isolated out there on the ranch, 815 01:00:47,139 --> 01:00:49,808 sort of like being sealed up in a little box. 816 01:00:49,933 --> 01:00:53,311 Don't really see a lot of folks. 817 01:00:53,437 --> 01:00:55,647 I wouldn't know what that's like. 818 01:00:56,481 --> 01:00:59,026 There someone special in your life, Rango? 819 01:00:59,609 --> 01:01:02,487 There used to be. But she couldn't keep her head. 820 01:01:02,612 --> 01:01:04,614 Besides, my life's too dangerous for that kind of thing. 821 01:01:04,740 --> 01:01:07,784 You know, it's an awful solitary existence out there on the prairie. 822 01:01:07,909 --> 01:01:10,120 Riding the ranges and the suchlike. 823 01:01:11,872 --> 01:01:13,081 Beans? 824 01:01:14,750 --> 01:01:16,001 Beans? 825 01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:37,230 I'm gonna skin you alive, boy! I'm gonna whup you like a red-headed stepchild! 826 01:01:37,356 --> 01:01:38,649 Choleric varmints, ain't they? 827 01:01:38,774 --> 01:01:41,693 Dysfunctional family. Need intervention. 828 01:01:42,861 --> 01:01:44,237 What's that coming? 829 01:01:46,323 --> 01:01:47,741 It's the water. 830 01:01:49,826 --> 01:01:53,664 I have a plan, and each and every one of you has a part to play. 831 01:01:53,789 --> 01:01:54,998 What do I do? 832 01:01:55,123 --> 01:01:56,875 Spoons, you got the most important job of all. 833 01:01:57,209 --> 01:01:59,211 You stay up here on the ridge, and if anything goes wrong, 834 01:01:59,378 --> 01:02:02,172 you give the signal. 835 01:02:13,225 --> 01:02:16,520 Hey, Beans. What size dress you wearing? 836 01:02:16,645 --> 01:02:19,272 - He got it! - Hallelujah! 837 01:02:19,398 --> 01:02:21,024 - He found the water! - You did it, son. 838 01:02:21,149 --> 01:02:22,150 Well, actually... 839 01:02:22,275 --> 01:02:25,112 Why can't you be all brainy like your brother? 840 01:02:25,237 --> 01:02:27,614 Pappy, about that water. There's something I gots to tell you. 841 01:02:27,739 --> 01:02:29,533 Hush up, now. Somebody's coming. 842 01:02:31,994 --> 01:02:35,372 Good sirs, gracious good afternoon to thee and thee and thee. 843 01:02:35,497 --> 01:02:37,666 May I present Madame Lupone's 844 01:02:37,791 --> 01:02:40,210 Terpsichorean Troupe of Travelling Thespians! 845 01:02:42,045 --> 01:02:44,172 - What is that? - I think they's thespians. 846 01:02:44,297 --> 01:02:47,384 Thespians? That's illegal in seven states! 847 01:02:47,509 --> 01:02:51,304 The stage is set. The princess prepares to take her own life. 848 01:02:51,430 --> 01:02:52,681 I yearn for love. 849 01:02:54,391 --> 01:02:56,309 Meanwhile, the lone sentry stands watch at the castle gate. 850 01:02:57,394 --> 01:02:59,396 Hark! Who goes there? 851 01:02:59,521 --> 01:03:01,273 This plot is highly predictable. 852 01:03:01,398 --> 01:03:02,733 Quiet! This is my favourite part. 853 01:03:02,858 --> 01:03:04,151 Arriving to great fanfare 'twas her aged father, 854 01:03:08,739 --> 01:03:10,574 strucketh by Cupid. 855 01:03:11,908 --> 01:03:14,995 Prithee, unhand my fair daughter 856 01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:16,747 and reach for the... 857 01:03:18,290 --> 01:03:20,917 - Line? - "Reach for the sky!" 858 01:03:23,545 --> 01:03:25,088 What was that? 859 01:03:25,213 --> 01:03:27,174 Must be that immersive theatre. 860 01:03:27,299 --> 01:03:28,508 We got you surrounded! 861 01:03:28,633 --> 01:03:32,471 You and your entire family get your hands up where I can see them. 862 01:03:32,596 --> 01:03:35,015 My entire family? 863 01:03:39,686 --> 01:03:43,899 Grits and spit and collard greens 864 01:03:44,024 --> 01:03:48,445 Waffle chitlins, monkey brains 865 01:03:48,570 --> 01:03:52,324 Refried bones and booger blood 866 01:03:52,449 --> 01:03:55,786 Pickled eggs and flaps of mud 867 01:03:59,247 --> 01:04:01,333 It's a full house. 868 01:04:01,458 --> 01:04:04,711 Looks like we're gonna have ourselves a good old-fashioned standoff. 869 01:04:05,629 --> 01:04:09,591 I'll have you know, you're not looking at our entire contingent. 870 01:04:16,223 --> 01:04:18,642 What's that supposed to be? 871 01:04:18,767 --> 01:04:20,143 That's the signal. 872 01:04:20,268 --> 01:04:23,855 That's the signal! Something must have gone wrong! 873 01:04:27,693 --> 01:04:31,655 So something's supposed to happen? 874 01:04:31,780 --> 01:04:35,200 I am open to suggestions. 875 01:04:43,125 --> 01:04:44,668 Run! 876 01:04:50,882 --> 01:04:52,050 Get on the wagon! 877 01:04:58,140 --> 01:05:00,851 Should we have ourselves some sport, chill'ens? 878 01:05:01,810 --> 01:05:03,770 I likes it when they run. 879 01:05:03,895 --> 01:05:06,857 Maybelle, give the holler! 880 01:05:13,488 --> 01:05:14,781 Looks like we made it! 881 01:05:14,906 --> 01:05:16,366 That audience was quite responsive. 882 01:05:16,491 --> 01:05:19,286 Yeah, well, I think that chromosome pool is about dried up. 883 01:05:46,563 --> 01:05:47,939 We got bats! 884 01:05:48,899 --> 01:05:50,651 Here! You drive. 885 01:05:58,700 --> 01:06:01,078 Looks like there's gonna be soup tonight! 886 01:06:01,536 --> 01:06:03,622 Come on, let's get some! 887 01:06:13,006 --> 01:06:16,218 What in tarnation? Don't shoot the water! 888 01:06:16,385 --> 01:06:19,805 Jedidiah! It's time for the Alabama squeeze box! 889 01:06:19,930 --> 01:06:21,348 Okay, Pa! 890 01:06:28,355 --> 01:06:30,232 I am sensing hostility. 891 01:06:30,357 --> 01:06:31,525 Incoming! 892 01:06:37,364 --> 01:06:38,573 Hello! 893 01:06:38,699 --> 01:06:39,866 Goodbye! 894 01:06:49,710 --> 01:06:52,045 Lasso that swine! 895 01:07:12,441 --> 01:07:14,276 I suggest we take evasive action! 896 01:07:14,401 --> 01:07:16,320 I suggest you shut up and shoot! 897 01:07:16,445 --> 01:07:18,989 - What happened to the Sheriff? - He had a previous engagement! 898 01:07:19,114 --> 01:07:21,742 Boseefus, give them some gumbo now! 899 01:07:28,457 --> 01:07:31,084 What was that? Go check it out! 900 01:07:32,419 --> 01:07:34,087 What is it? Is there a problem? 901 01:07:36,548 --> 01:07:37,924 You could call it that. 902 01:08:26,431 --> 01:08:27,474 Headache. 903 01:08:30,185 --> 01:08:32,270 Is that all you got? 904 01:08:50,205 --> 01:08:52,416 That wasn't altogether unpleasant! 905 01:08:54,042 --> 01:08:55,043 Eat lead! 906 01:09:05,804 --> 01:09:07,305 Here, hold these. 907 01:09:18,150 --> 01:09:19,860 Get your hands off me! 908 01:09:24,948 --> 01:09:26,366 Oh, I'm sorry. 909 01:09:35,208 --> 01:09:36,293 Jump! 910 01:09:59,232 --> 01:10:00,734 It's impossible. 911 01:10:01,234 --> 01:10:04,112 It can't be. It's empty. 912 01:10:04,237 --> 01:10:05,906 There's no water! 913 01:10:06,031 --> 01:10:09,451 No water? Then what the hell we been fighting for? 914 01:10:09,576 --> 01:10:13,789 Sir, you have defiled and desecrated the very sustenance of our livelihood! 915 01:10:13,914 --> 01:10:16,500 I think that there fella in the purty dress is the Sheriff. 916 01:10:16,625 --> 01:10:19,169 That's the same fellow what give us a prospecting permit? 917 01:10:19,294 --> 01:10:22,130 - A what? - Irrelevant! Obfuscation. 918 01:10:22,255 --> 01:10:24,216 You and your kin are under arrest for bank robbery 919 01:10:24,341 --> 01:10:26,343 and the murder of our beloved financial advisor 920 01:10:26,468 --> 01:10:29,930 Johannes Merrimack the Third, AKA, Fluffy Joe. 921 01:10:30,055 --> 01:10:31,598 Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody. 922 01:10:31,723 --> 01:10:34,059 We done tunnelled into that vault, but there weren't nothing in it. 923 01:10:34,184 --> 01:10:36,103 Somebody done robbed that bank before we robbed it. 924 01:10:36,228 --> 01:10:37,938 Then where'd you get this here jug? 925 01:10:38,063 --> 01:10:40,023 That's what I been trying to tell you, Pappy. 926 01:10:40,148 --> 01:10:41,316 I found it in the desert. 927 01:10:41,441 --> 01:10:44,653 Then why in tarnation did you bring it here? 928 01:10:44,778 --> 01:10:48,699 Hold on! You're saying this here jug was empty when you found it? 929 01:10:48,824 --> 01:10:50,033 That's right. 930 01:10:50,158 --> 01:10:51,451 I don't believe a word of it. 931 01:10:51,576 --> 01:10:53,078 - Let's hang them, Sheriff! - String them up! 932 01:10:53,203 --> 01:10:54,621 Who'd dump water in the desert? 933 01:10:55,247 --> 01:10:56,790 Wouldn't be the first time. 934 01:10:57,332 --> 01:11:00,085 It's a puzzle! It's like a big old mammogram! 935 01:11:00,210 --> 01:11:02,045 What's going on, Sheriff? 936 01:11:02,170 --> 01:11:03,505 I don't know. 937 01:11:03,630 --> 01:11:07,634 But I'm going to strip away this mystery and expose its private parts. 938 01:11:07,759 --> 01:11:09,970 You and your kin are coming with me. 939 01:11:14,516 --> 01:11:15,726 They're coming! 940 01:11:15,851 --> 01:11:17,519 Here they come! 941 01:11:18,812 --> 01:11:21,231 Looks like they got them robbers. 942 01:11:43,795 --> 01:11:45,172 Where's the water? 943 01:11:48,258 --> 01:11:50,177 There weren't no water. 944 01:12:04,358 --> 01:12:06,026 Where is he going? 945 01:12:07,152 --> 01:12:09,571 He's going to see the Mayor. 946 01:12:11,740 --> 01:12:13,700 He's got to be pleased with that. 947 01:12:13,825 --> 01:12:15,577 That's a good one, boss! 948 01:12:25,420 --> 01:12:26,505 That's interesting. 949 01:12:26,630 --> 01:12:29,466 I do apologise for the shoes, Mr Rango, 950 01:12:29,591 --> 01:12:32,886 but there's a certain protocol to this game, you understand. 951 01:12:33,011 --> 01:12:35,305 I'm a bit of a stickler for protocol. 952 01:12:35,430 --> 01:12:38,350 Well, that's good, 'cause you got a few questions to answer 953 01:12:38,475 --> 01:12:40,727 and I've got my own protocol. 954 01:12:44,773 --> 01:12:47,651 But why would anyone dump water in the blooming desert? 955 01:12:47,776 --> 01:12:51,780 It does seem a bit naïve, taking the word of admitted bank robbers. 956 01:12:51,905 --> 01:12:55,492 Besides, once they hang, your job is done. 957 01:12:55,617 --> 01:12:57,077 - Bravo! - Job well done. 958 01:12:57,202 --> 01:13:00,122 But what if somebody did rob the bank before they got there? 959 01:13:00,247 --> 01:13:02,374 And who would do that, Mr Rango? 960 01:13:02,499 --> 01:13:04,710 I was hoping you could tell me. 961 01:13:04,835 --> 01:13:07,796 That sounds marginally near to an accusation. 962 01:13:07,921 --> 01:13:09,881 Take it any way you like. 963 01:13:15,262 --> 01:13:18,849 Something you said keeps rattling around in my frontal lobe. 964 01:13:18,974 --> 01:13:20,100 What's that? 965 01:13:20,809 --> 01:13:24,479 "Control the water and you control everything." 966 01:13:25,147 --> 01:13:27,190 Come now, Mr Rango. 967 01:13:27,316 --> 01:13:30,193 You attribute divine power to me. 968 01:13:30,319 --> 01:13:33,447 How on earth could I possibly control the water? 969 01:13:35,991 --> 01:13:39,077 You've obviously mastered this game. 970 01:13:39,202 --> 01:13:42,622 Well, I've been playing it for many years, sir. 971 01:13:42,748 --> 01:13:45,876 I was here before the highway split this great valley. 972 01:13:46,001 --> 01:13:48,628 I watched the march of progress, 973 01:13:48,754 --> 01:13:51,214 and I learned a thing or two. 974 01:13:51,757 --> 01:13:54,885 Perhaps it's time you started to take the long view, 975 01:13:55,010 --> 01:13:58,805 begin to appreciate the broad sweep of history. 976 01:13:59,514 --> 01:14:00,974 Look out there, son. 977 01:14:01,975 --> 01:14:04,311 You can almost see time passing. 978 01:14:07,648 --> 01:14:09,650 What are you building out here? 979 01:14:09,775 --> 01:14:13,070 The future, Mr Rango, the future. 980 01:14:13,195 --> 01:14:16,865 One day soon, all this is going to fade into myth, 981 01:14:16,990 --> 01:14:19,785 the frontier town, the lawman, the gunslinger. 982 01:14:19,910 --> 01:14:22,287 There's just no place for them any more. 983 01:14:22,412 --> 01:14:25,666 - We're civilised now. - That's right, civilised. 984 01:14:26,541 --> 01:14:28,126 That's what the future holds. 985 01:14:28,251 --> 01:14:31,588 You can either be part of it, or you can be left behind. 986 01:14:32,005 --> 01:14:35,842 Is that what happened to Mr Merrimack? Did he get left behind? 987 01:14:35,967 --> 01:14:40,597 Careful, Mr Rango. You seem to forget you're just one little lizard. 988 01:14:40,931 --> 01:14:44,768 You seem to forget I'm the law around these parts. 989 01:14:47,479 --> 01:14:50,524 Our new sheriff has been playing the hero for so long, 990 01:14:50,649 --> 01:14:53,026 he's actually starting to believe it. 991 01:14:53,151 --> 01:14:55,570 Call in Rattlesnake Jake. 992 01:14:55,696 --> 01:14:58,323 But Jake's the Grim Reaper. 993 01:14:58,448 --> 01:15:00,784 He never leaves without taking a blooming soul. 994 01:15:00,909 --> 01:15:02,119 Do it! 995 01:15:16,633 --> 01:15:20,846 Now be still. You gotta look presentable to meet your maker. 996 01:15:26,643 --> 01:15:30,022 Death has arrived 997 01:15:34,526 --> 01:15:38,864 How will the hero survive? 998 01:15:42,659 --> 01:15:45,787 The Mayor has bought up all the land in the valley, 999 01:15:45,912 --> 01:15:47,748 except for your ranch, Miss Beans. 1000 01:15:47,873 --> 01:15:51,668 That just don't make no sense. Without water, that land is useless. 1001 01:15:51,793 --> 01:15:54,588 Unless he controls the water. 1002 01:15:54,713 --> 01:15:56,548 Like a monkey's bladder! 1003 01:15:56,673 --> 01:15:58,925 Then he could bring it back once he's bought up all the land. 1004 01:15:59,051 --> 01:16:00,135 But how does he control the water? 1005 01:16:02,262 --> 01:16:04,222 Sheriff, we got a problem. 1006 01:16:10,687 --> 01:16:14,024 Hold on, Beans. That won't be necessary. 1007 01:16:17,486 --> 01:16:20,822 - Hang him till his head turns blue! - Give us them robbers! 1008 01:16:20,947 --> 01:16:23,367 Hold on! Calm down, everyone! Let me talk! 1009 01:16:23,492 --> 01:16:25,744 - Nail them to the courthouse! - Now, calm down, everybody. 1010 01:16:25,869 --> 01:16:28,497 Get them out here so we can cut off their giblets! 1011 01:16:29,122 --> 01:16:30,707 You, too, Spoons? 1012 01:16:30,832 --> 01:16:34,169 They done taken that water. They taken everything we got! 1013 01:16:34,294 --> 01:16:37,255 No one's stringing anyone up. Not while I'm sheriff. 1014 01:16:37,381 --> 01:16:38,590 But this is all his fault! 1015 01:16:38,715 --> 01:16:41,051 You said you's gonna bring the water back. 1016 01:16:41,176 --> 01:16:43,679 It's just, we got no hope without that water. 1017 01:16:43,804 --> 01:16:45,681 We got nothing left to believe in. 1018 01:16:46,390 --> 01:16:47,891 You see that sign up there? 1019 01:16:48,684 --> 01:16:50,852 As long as that sign says "Sheriff," 1020 01:16:50,978 --> 01:16:53,313 you can believe that there's law and order in this town. 1021 01:16:53,438 --> 01:16:57,484 But without law and order, ruminate on that. Oh, yeah. 1022 01:16:57,609 --> 01:17:00,779 Starts out slow, like a fungus. 1023 01:17:00,904 --> 01:17:03,532 Somebody says a cross word. Accusations start flying. 1024 01:17:03,657 --> 01:17:06,451 Neighbour turns on neighbour. Pretty soon, we're eating our children! 1025 01:17:06,576 --> 01:17:07,953 And then dogs and cats are getting together 1026 01:17:08,078 --> 01:17:10,706 to create all sorts of unnatural mutant aberrations! 1027 01:17:11,748 --> 01:17:15,293 So, you want something to believe in, Spoons? 1028 01:17:15,752 --> 01:17:16,962 Believe in me. 1029 01:17:18,588 --> 01:17:20,549 Believe in that there sign. 1030 01:17:21,508 --> 01:17:25,012 For as long as it hangs there, we got hope. 1031 01:17:50,454 --> 01:17:52,873 Hello, brother. 1032 01:17:53,165 --> 01:17:55,000 Thirsty? 1033 01:18:05,802 --> 01:18:10,265 Long time, brother. How you been keeping? 1034 01:18:10,807 --> 01:18:12,434 Well, you know... 1035 01:18:14,936 --> 01:18:19,191 I hear you been telling about how you killed all them Jenkins brothers. 1036 01:18:19,316 --> 01:18:21,943 With one bullet, wasn't it? 1037 01:18:22,069 --> 01:18:23,945 Isn't that right? 1038 01:18:24,071 --> 01:18:28,283 All these good folks here believe your little stories, don't they? 1039 01:18:28,492 --> 01:18:32,204 Why, they believe you're just a stone killer, don't they? 1040 01:18:32,329 --> 01:18:35,499 Seems these folks trust you. 1041 01:18:35,666 --> 01:18:38,710 They think you're gonna save their little town. 1042 01:18:38,835 --> 01:18:42,297 They think you're gonna save their little souls! 1043 01:18:46,343 --> 01:18:49,846 But we know better, don't we? 1044 01:18:55,435 --> 01:18:59,064 So why don't you show your friends here what you're made of? 1045 01:18:59,189 --> 01:19:01,984 Show them who you really are. 1046 01:19:02,109 --> 01:19:05,112 Why don't you just pull your gun and shoot me? 1047 01:19:05,237 --> 01:19:08,115 But, of course, you won't need all these. 1048 01:19:08,240 --> 01:19:10,158 Just one, right? 1049 01:19:12,452 --> 01:19:15,872 Go ahead, hero. Pull the trigger. 1050 01:19:19,001 --> 01:19:21,336 You got killer in your eyes, son? 1051 01:19:23,672 --> 01:19:24,798 I don't see it. 1052 01:19:28,051 --> 01:19:31,304 You didn't do any of them things you said, did you? 1053 01:19:31,430 --> 01:19:35,434 You didn't kill them Jenkins brothers. You ain't even from the West! 1054 01:19:35,559 --> 01:19:36,685 Are you? 1055 01:19:37,477 --> 01:19:40,105 - Say it! - No. 1056 01:19:40,230 --> 01:19:44,318 Speak up. I don't think your friends here heard you. 1057 01:19:45,944 --> 01:19:46,987 No. 1058 01:19:47,112 --> 01:19:49,614 All you've done is lie to these good people. 1059 01:19:49,740 --> 01:19:53,910 You ain't nothing but a fake and a coward. Isn't that right? 1060 01:19:54,244 --> 01:19:55,370 Yes. 1061 01:19:55,537 --> 01:19:57,205 - Louder! - Yes. 1062 01:20:01,710 --> 01:20:04,838 Listen close, you pathetic fraud. 1063 01:20:04,963 --> 01:20:07,966 This is my town now. 1064 01:20:08,091 --> 01:20:12,471 If I ever see you again, I will take your soul straight down to hell! 1065 01:20:29,446 --> 01:20:31,031 Who are you? 1066 01:22:27,731 --> 01:22:29,149 Who am I? 1067 01:22:31,318 --> 01:22:33,028 I'm nobody. 1068 01:24:27,309 --> 01:24:29,186 Golden guardians. 1069 01:24:31,188 --> 01:24:32,773 The alabaster carriage. 1070 01:24:37,819 --> 01:24:40,238 The Spirit of the West. 1071 01:24:44,743 --> 01:24:48,580 Excuse me? Mister Spirit, sir? 1072 01:24:51,166 --> 01:24:56,129 There's a beaut. Sometimes you got to dig deep to find what you're looking for. 1073 01:24:57,798 --> 01:24:59,174 So you made it. 1074 01:25:00,175 --> 01:25:01,385 Is this heaven? 1075 01:25:01,510 --> 01:25:05,263 If it were, we'd be eating Pop-Tarts with Kim Novak. 1076 01:25:05,555 --> 01:25:06,723 Yeah. 1077 01:25:06,932 --> 01:25:10,060 No kidding. What are you doing out here? 1078 01:25:10,519 --> 01:25:12,479 Searching, same as you. 1079 01:25:13,438 --> 01:25:16,733 I don't even know what I'm looking for any more. 1080 01:25:16,858 --> 01:25:18,735 I don't even know who I am. 1081 01:25:19,319 --> 01:25:21,822 They used to call you the Man with No Name. 1082 01:25:23,198 --> 01:25:27,077 These days they got a name for just about everything. 1083 01:25:27,202 --> 01:25:31,456 Doesn't matter what they call you. It's the deeds make the man. 1084 01:25:31,581 --> 01:25:35,335 Yeah, but my deeds just made things worse. I'm a fraud. I'm a phoney! 1085 01:25:35,460 --> 01:25:39,339 My friends believed in me, but they need some kind of hero. 1086 01:25:39,464 --> 01:25:41,133 Then be a hero. 1087 01:25:41,258 --> 01:25:45,137 No. No, no, you don't understand. I'm not even supposed to be here. 1088 01:25:45,262 --> 01:25:49,433 That's right. You came a long way to find something that isn't out here. 1089 01:25:50,559 --> 01:25:53,228 Don't you see? It's not about you. 1090 01:25:54,271 --> 01:25:55,772 It's about them. 1091 01:25:58,775 --> 01:26:00,152 But I can't go back. 1092 01:26:00,277 --> 01:26:02,612 Don't know that you got a choice, son. 1093 01:26:06,491 --> 01:26:09,244 No man can walk out on his own story. 1094 01:26:21,715 --> 01:26:23,425 So you made it. 1095 01:26:24,843 --> 01:26:28,680 That's right, amigo. The other side of the road. 1096 01:26:31,183 --> 01:26:33,435 Did you just see that? 1097 01:26:33,852 --> 01:26:36,688 We each see what we need to see. 1098 01:26:37,731 --> 01:26:39,691 Beautiful, isn't it? 1099 01:26:51,745 --> 01:26:52,829 Yeah. 1100 01:26:53,997 --> 01:26:55,332 It is. 1101 01:26:55,957 --> 01:26:59,711 Come, my friend. I want to show you something. 1102 01:27:02,756 --> 01:27:08,053 Many years ago, this entire valley was covered in agua. 1103 01:27:08,178 --> 01:27:12,099 Now only one question remains. 1104 01:27:13,350 --> 01:27:14,851 Where did it go? 1105 01:27:49,886 --> 01:27:51,930 They follow the water. 1106 01:27:52,055 --> 01:27:55,142 They follow the water! Come on! 1107 01:28:30,052 --> 01:28:34,598 That just don't make no sense. Without water, that land is useless. 1108 01:28:35,390 --> 01:28:37,309 What are you building out here? 1109 01:28:37,434 --> 01:28:39,311 The future, Mr Rango. 1110 01:28:39,436 --> 01:28:43,940 You can either be part of it, or you can be left behind. 1111 01:28:46,401 --> 01:28:49,237 I was here before the highway split this great valley. 1112 01:28:52,324 --> 01:28:54,910 I watched the march of progress 1113 01:28:55,035 --> 01:28:57,287 and I learned a thing or two. 1114 01:29:02,626 --> 01:29:04,753 Control the water 1115 01:29:04,878 --> 01:29:07,255 and you control everything. 1116 01:29:14,137 --> 01:29:16,348 Come now, Mr Rango. 1117 01:29:16,473 --> 01:29:18,266 You attribute divine power to me. 1118 01:29:18,392 --> 01:29:20,936 How on earth could I possibly control the water? 1119 01:29:57,889 --> 01:29:59,850 What now, amigo? 1120 01:30:07,524 --> 01:30:10,527 No man can walk out on his own story. 1121 01:30:12,112 --> 01:30:13,530 I'm going back. 1122 01:30:15,032 --> 01:30:16,366 But why? 1123 01:30:17,534 --> 01:30:19,494 Because that's who I am. 1124 01:30:31,673 --> 01:30:36,303 You got a lot of nerve showing up here, lawman. What is it you want? 1125 01:30:37,387 --> 01:30:41,016 Your pappy and them boys are about to hang for something they didn't do. 1126 01:30:42,476 --> 01:30:44,102 But I've got a plan. 1127 01:31:12,255 --> 01:31:15,050 I appreciate how difficult this is for you, Beans. 1128 01:31:15,217 --> 01:31:18,136 But you're making a practical decision. 1129 01:31:18,261 --> 01:31:20,973 Decisions, decisions. 1130 01:31:21,098 --> 01:31:24,226 There's no need for any more suffering. 1131 01:31:30,774 --> 01:31:34,236 Your family's ranch is nothing but a wasteland now. 1132 01:31:34,820 --> 01:31:39,533 Sign the deed and relieve yourself of your father's burden. 1133 01:31:41,618 --> 01:31:44,413 My daddy was not a burden! 1134 01:31:44,538 --> 01:31:46,915 Keep your blood money and I'll keep my land! 1135 01:31:53,088 --> 01:31:56,216 Do what he says or, by all the fires of the black pit, 1136 01:31:56,341 --> 01:31:59,720 I'll squeeze them pretty brown eyes out of your skull! 1137 01:32:00,512 --> 01:32:02,681 Now, hold on, Jake. There's no need to... 1138 01:32:02,806 --> 01:32:05,100 Let me do my job! You brought me in. 1139 01:32:05,225 --> 01:32:07,769 Now we're gonna play this thing out to the end! 1140 01:32:08,603 --> 01:32:11,023 Sign the damn paper, woman! 1141 01:32:11,315 --> 01:32:13,025 Go to hell! 1142 01:32:13,275 --> 01:32:15,569 Where do you think I come from? 1143 01:32:16,194 --> 01:32:18,488 Look into my eyes. 1144 01:32:18,613 --> 01:32:20,949 I want to see you die. 1145 01:32:26,079 --> 01:32:27,289 Jake! 1146 01:32:30,667 --> 01:32:32,627 I'm calling you out! 1147 01:32:34,921 --> 01:32:36,381 Jake! 1148 01:32:36,757 --> 01:32:41,136 This day just got a little more interesting. 1149 01:33:08,413 --> 01:33:09,581 Put her down. 1150 01:33:09,706 --> 01:33:13,293 Or what, little man? You going to kill me? 1151 01:33:13,418 --> 01:33:15,253 That's just about the size of it. 1152 01:33:18,006 --> 01:33:20,592 - Get your filthy paws off me! - Shut your gob! 1153 01:33:20,717 --> 01:33:23,845 All right, Sheriff, make your move. 1154 01:34:56,146 --> 01:34:57,606 Now, amigos! 1155 01:35:02,194 --> 01:35:04,821 - Heave! Heave! - Heave! Heave! 1156 01:35:22,255 --> 01:35:23,256 That was a bad idea. 1157 01:35:28,679 --> 01:35:29,680 Thirsty, brother? 1158 01:35:33,350 --> 01:35:35,435 Here it comes! 1159 01:35:37,270 --> 01:35:38,271 No. No! 1160 01:35:42,693 --> 01:35:43,902 It's a miracle! 1161 01:35:44,069 --> 01:35:45,445 Look out! 1162 01:35:52,577 --> 01:35:54,246 - Lookee there! - What is that? 1163 01:35:56,206 --> 01:35:57,582 It's our salvation, Pa! 1164 01:35:57,708 --> 01:36:00,794 It's a jailbreak, boys! We're busting out! 1165 01:36:11,054 --> 01:36:15,100 I'm gonna blow so many holes in you, your guts'll be leaking lead! 1166 01:36:15,225 --> 01:36:17,936 Well, then it's a good thing I brought some backup. 1167 01:36:29,239 --> 01:36:30,282 What? 1168 01:36:34,077 --> 01:36:35,912 Ain't no hawk. 1169 01:36:36,038 --> 01:36:38,457 Ain't nothing but bats! 1170 01:36:40,667 --> 01:36:44,880 Stick to the plan, boys! Let's bleed that devil dry! 1171 01:36:56,350 --> 01:36:58,435 It only takes one bullet. 1172 01:36:58,602 --> 01:37:00,687 You ain't got the nerve. 1173 01:37:01,897 --> 01:37:03,315 Try me. 1174 01:37:07,694 --> 01:37:09,279 Oh, Mr Rango. 1175 01:37:09,988 --> 01:37:11,657 Aren't you forgetting something? 1176 01:37:16,953 --> 01:37:18,872 Hand me your gun, Sheriff. 1177 01:37:21,792 --> 01:37:23,543 Now, Mr Rango. 1178 01:37:35,722 --> 01:37:37,975 Beans! Hold on. Don't worry, I got a plan. 1179 01:37:38,976 --> 01:37:41,061 Help! 1180 01:37:41,186 --> 01:37:43,480 Open the door! 1181 01:37:44,147 --> 01:37:45,607 Okay, plan B. 1182 01:37:46,817 --> 01:37:47,901 Beans, you're mumbling. 1183 01:37:48,485 --> 01:37:52,614 All my problems taken care of except for one. 1184 01:37:53,323 --> 01:37:54,408 It's a new West, Jake. 1185 01:37:54,533 --> 01:37:58,870 There's no room for gunslingers any more. We're businessmen now. 1186 01:37:58,996 --> 01:38:00,706 Yeah, we got new hats. 1187 01:38:00,831 --> 01:38:04,418 Where I come from, we call this improvisation. 1188 01:38:05,836 --> 01:38:07,546 You came back. 1189 01:38:15,804 --> 01:38:16,972 What was that? 1190 01:38:17,097 --> 01:38:19,641 No need to panic, but I think you just swallowed plan B. 1191 01:38:19,808 --> 01:38:20,892 What? 1192 01:38:22,519 --> 01:38:24,021 Okay, panic time. 1193 01:38:24,146 --> 01:38:27,024 You and the Sheriff are more alike than you think. 1194 01:38:27,190 --> 01:38:28,984 You're nothing but legends. 1195 01:38:29,109 --> 01:38:32,821 Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed. 1196 01:38:36,074 --> 01:38:38,660 One last bullet to kill one last outlaw. 1197 01:38:41,038 --> 01:38:42,706 How fitting. 1198 01:39:17,032 --> 01:39:19,159 Sheriff, I'm sure if we work together, 1199 01:39:19,284 --> 01:39:23,413 we can reach a mutually beneficial solution to our current situation. 1200 01:39:23,538 --> 01:39:25,749 You better take it up with him. 1201 01:39:37,052 --> 01:39:38,762 One bullet. 1202 01:39:40,222 --> 01:39:42,516 I tip my hat to you, 1203 01:39:42,683 --> 01:39:45,519 one legend to another. 1204 01:39:47,396 --> 01:39:49,564 What was that you said? 1205 01:39:49,690 --> 01:39:54,361 "Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed." 1206 01:39:54,569 --> 01:39:56,655 No, Jake! No! 1207 01:40:09,042 --> 01:40:10,377 Rango! 1208 01:40:11,837 --> 01:40:15,632 You brought the water back, just like you promised. 1209 01:40:15,757 --> 01:40:17,384 You really are a hero. 1210 01:40:18,719 --> 01:40:21,847 Well, the thing about heroes is, whenever you... 1211 01:40:21,972 --> 01:40:23,724 Don't spoil it. 1212 01:40:23,849 --> 01:40:25,058 Right. 1213 01:40:25,600 --> 01:40:28,103 Well, I don't know about you all, but I could sure go for a dip. 1214 01:40:32,733 --> 01:40:35,610 And so the lizard completes his journey 1215 01:40:35,736 --> 01:40:39,740 from humble beginnings to the legend we sing of today. 1216 01:40:39,865 --> 01:40:44,536 And although he is certain to die, perhaps from a household accident, 1217 01:40:44,661 --> 01:40:47,664 which account for 65% of all unnatural deaths, 1218 01:40:47,789 --> 01:40:51,293 the people of the village will always remember, 1219 01:40:51,418 --> 01:40:53,378 the name of the one who saved them. 1220 01:40:53,503 --> 01:40:54,504 - Rango! - Rango!