﻿1
00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:44,716
<i>Okay, welcome back.</i>

2
00:00:44,911 --> 00:00:47,345
<i>This is Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Fresno Grizzlies...</i>

3
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,310
<i>and we've got a good one, my friends.</i>

4
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,685
<i>Top of the ninth here at Chukchansi
Park, and a beautiful night.</i>

5
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,152
<i>We can actually feel
that fall is finally on its way.</i>

6
00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:59,189
It's a rather crisp 107 degrees, but dry.

7
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:02,657
We've got 15,000 sweaty and bloated
people all pumped up on Churros...

8
00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:04,955
rooting on our Fresno Grizzlies.

9
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:08,464
And Brad, this is why I love
announcing Minor League Baseball...

10
00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,898
because I get to say names
like "River Cats..."

11
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,833
or the "Rancho Cucamonga Quakes."

12
00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:14,939
I don't have to ever say boring names

13
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,134
like "Tigers," or "Red Sox," or "Cubs."

14
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,234
Okay, we got a little break in the action...

15
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:21,414
as they're having
a little meeting on the mound.

16
00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:23,639
Artie, do you know what time it is?

17
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:28,685
I sure do, Brad.
It's time for Artie's Kiss Cam!

18
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,620
Thank you, Gwen.

19
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,259
Let's see what kind of young lovers

20
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,725
we got at the ballpark tonight.

21
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,226
All right, there's a kiss.

22
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,910
Well, you know one thing when you see

23
00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,898
a kiss like that, they're married.

24
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,001
Wait, wait, we've got a proposal.

25
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,831
"Will you marry me, Clara? Love, Nate."

26
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:49,497
There's our young Romeo now.
And whoa! He has scored!

27
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,990
Brad, that is what
you young people would call a "hottie."

28
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:55,013
He's got Britney Spears
and he's about to give her the ring...

29
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,012
and he goes the other way!

30
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,310
I can't believe what I am seeing...

31
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,977
and I'm sure she's
got a great "personality," but, oh my.

32
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,984
I thought Jerry Garcia was dead.

33
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,523
What's he doing
in the stands marrying him?

34
00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:11,458
Here at Chukchansi Park,
love is blind, and apparently so is Nate.

35
00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:13,757
All right, let's get back to the action

36
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:16,060
as the meeting breaks up on the mound.

37
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,829
Here's the situation.
First and third, two outs.

38
00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:20,738
<i>And here's the pitch.</i>

39
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,669
<i>Swing and a miss. Diaz fires down to third.</i>

40
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:23,672
<i>They've picked him off third!</i>

41
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,141
- You're out!
<i>- Ballgame over!</i>

42
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:28,371
I'll tell you, Myers is getting an earful...

43
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:31,641
and as my mom used to say,
"There's no cure for dumb."

44
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,183
Gwen! We won.

45
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:36,355
And that closes out
the last game of the season.

46
00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:38,990
The Grizzlies take
the Sacramento River Cats...

47
00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,591
by a score of three to one.

48
00:02:40,793 --> 00:02:43,193
We'll be right back with a happy recap.

49
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:46,358
That is a bad way to end a game.

50
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:49,194
Artie. Mr. Decker.

51
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:54,838
I want to say thank you
for what has been an awesome semester.

52
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:59,341
I mean, you taught me a lot,
and... I got you this.

53
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:00,513
What did you do, Brad?

54
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:03,079
It's got all the famous calls
you told me about.

55
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,877
Harwell, "Red" Barber, Scully, Russ Hodges.

56
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:08,246
You know, that's really great,
Brad. Thank you so much.

57
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,021
Well, as the great Yogi Berra once said,

58
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,590
"It ain't over till it's over."

59
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:14,919
Well, this Fresno Grizzlies season is over.

60
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:18,120
I'm Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Fresno Grizzlies.

61
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:21,459
So, on behalf of Brad Zolick
and the late Gwen Foster on the organ...

62
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:25,604
good night everybody,
thanks for listening and lights out, Alice.

63
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,730
I love this job.

64
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:32,038
I'm fired?

65
00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:34,907
I'm sorry, Artie. I'm changing everything.

66
00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:37,947
New logos, new uniforms, new music.

67
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:39,911
All the deadwood is floating to the sawmill.

68
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:40,885
I'm deadwood?

69
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,387
You're old school.
You reminisce and you tell stories.

70
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,285
All our sponsors are for hearing aids,

71
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,153
beds that go up and down, and scooters.

72
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,328
Not the cool kind, the sad kind.

73
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:51,069
We need someone who's wired in.

74
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:51,823
To what?

75
00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:53,157
Facebook.

76
00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:54,890
- How many friends do you have?
- I don't have any friends.

77
00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:56,261
- Have you made any posts?
- No.

78
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:57,776
- What was your last update?
- My what?

79
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,135
- Have you poked anybody?
- I haven't poked anybody!

80
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:00,601
- Has anybody poked you?
- No.

81
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,775
The thing is Artie,
even if you were connected...

82
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,777
I don't know that I'd want
to be poked by you.

83
00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:06,142
- How many apps do you have?
- I don't have any apps.

84
00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:07,506
- You don't have any apps?
- No.

85
00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:08,571
- Everyone has apps.
- I don't have an app.

86
00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:09,907
- Do you play Angry Birds?
- Angry Birds?

87
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:10,983
Who's your favorite Angry Bird?

88
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,073
I don't have a favorite Angry Bird!

89
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,152
Everyone has a favorite Angry Bird.

90
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,653
I don't have a favorite Angry Bird!

91
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:15,746
Hashtag.

92
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,475
When was the last time you hashtagged?

93
00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:19,252
Are you out of your mind?
What the heck are you talking about?

94
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:20,426
We need announcers that tweet.

95
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:22,428
I'll tweet.
I'll make whatever noise you want.

96
00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:25,658
Sorry, Artie, my mind's made up.

97
00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,664
Feel the burn, everyone.

98
00:05:02,869 --> 00:05:05,064
And one, two, three, four.

99
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:06,033
Okay, okay.

100
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,567
How are we doing, Diane?

101
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:09,799
Oh, my sciatica.

102
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,408
My other sciatica.

103
00:05:16,282 --> 00:05:18,079
Ten minutes to cheesecake, ladies.

104
00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:20,732
There we go. Good job.

105
00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:22,343
Hi, Artie.

106
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:24,216
Hi, ladies.

107
00:05:24,424 --> 00:05:25,550
Caught the end of the game.

108
00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:28,523
"No cure for dumb." Funny.

109
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:30,593
- Yeah.
- Funny.

110
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,498
Don't fall, hon.

111
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,167
I got it.

112
00:05:35,768 --> 00:05:37,728
All right, everybody,
pull your core in.

113
00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:39,664
I don't have a core.

114
00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:41,499
Work those abs.

115
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:48,477
You know, Artie,
this could turn out to be a good thing.

116
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,376
It could give us more "us" time.

117
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:53,916
You mean me wearing a captain's
hat following you around Costco?

118
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,146
You don't want to retire? Fine.

119
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,348
You were offered a job
teaching broadcasting at Fresno State.

120
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:00,821
You could teach young people.

121
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,828
I could,
but why should they know what I know?

122
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:05,158
Ever the nurturer.

123
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,357
I don't want to teach,
I want to do. I still have the dream.

124
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:09,398
The Giants?

125
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:12,594
Yeah, the Giants.
I've been chasing this job for 35 years.

126
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,603
You give up your dream, you give up.

127
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:15,841
I'm not quitting.

128
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,600
I feel 10 years younger than I am,

129
00:06:17,777 --> 00:06:19,335
and I look 10 years younger than that.

130
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:22,343
So basically, you're asking
a 38-year-old to retire.

131
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,448
You're 38? Paint the house.

132
00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:28,916
Artie, to me, you're the best
announcer in the whole world.

133
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,386
You should be broadcasting for the Giants.

134
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,786
But after all these years, honey...

135
00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:36,073
something tells me
they don't have you on speed dial.

136
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:37,890
Mmm.

137
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:42,227
- It'll be okay.
- I'm sorry.

138
00:06:48,007 --> 00:06:50,134
<i>R-life awake.</i>

139
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:54,279
<i>Garage activated. Vehicle charging.</i>

140
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,914
<i>Solar panels activated.</i>

141
00:06:57,116 --> 00:07:00,779
<i>Good morning, Harper, Turner and Barker.</i>

142
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,386
<i>- Waffles ready.</i>

143
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:04,612
<i>Coffee ready.</i>

144
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:07,426
<i>Time for breakfast.</i>

145
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,151
But-but, Mom.

146
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:11,728
Honey, hold on one second. Uh-huh.

147
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:15,767
Well, I can have that up for
you in about three hours.

148
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:20,094
Yeah, one hour,
that's what I meant. Sure, I can hold on.

149
00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:21,102
Stupid!

150
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:23,241
- What's the matter, honey?
- I missed a note.

151
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,323
Come and have breakfast.
You're going to get it.

152
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:26,572
You know that you always do.

153
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:27,973
Yeah, I'm right here.

154
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:30,513
Right. And when would that be?

155
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,684
That's so soon. You got to be kidding me.

156
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,011
Dad! Dad.

157
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,518
I'm the soysages,
Turner gets the Wheatie-O's.

158
00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:39,316
Okay. Hey, babe, can you take over here?

159
00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:40,805
- I'm on a call.
- I'm on a call.

160
00:07:40,827 --> 00:07:42,317
Thank you.

161
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:47,789
But-but M-Mom! Th-The other
k-kids are gonna w-watch them.

162
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,334
Honey, I don't think you'd
really enjoy the <i>Saw</i> movies.

163
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:52,629
Remember when we went to see <i>Avatar...</i>

164
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:54,119
and you spent the last two hours

165
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:55,413
with your head inside my purse?

166
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,702
I... I... I was... I looking for the gum.

167
00:07:58,177 --> 00:07:59,269
I'm right here.

168
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,638
I can't believe it.
My computer just crashed.

169
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,305
I'll have to call you right back.

170
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:07,452
Barker, can we discuss
some of the many other possibilities...

171
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,850
for today's wardrobe,
including some involving pants?

172
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,858
Honey, can I talk to you outside
for a second?

173
00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:15,894
Sure. I have nothing but time.

174
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:20,126
D... Dad? C... Can I watch the <i>Saw</i> movies?

175
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,129
Sure.

176
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,029
Yeah!

177
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,000
Wait. That's way inappropriate.

178
00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:27,129
Aw!

179
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:29,703
What's up?

180
00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:33,901
Oh.

181
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,674
That was nice. Like a little mini date.

182
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:36,849
Crazy year, right?

183
00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:39,677
I mean, the whole thing.
Moving to Atlanta for my job.

184
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,478
Yeah, it's had its challenges.

185
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,917
Well, guess what.
That was my boss on the phone...

186
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:45,715
and the <i>R-life</i> has been nominated

187
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:48,191
for "Best New Product of the Year."

188
00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,557
Oh!

189
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,164
That's fantastic!

190
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,833
I know! They're flying us both next week.

191
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:58,435
Five days of lectures
and networking and love.

192
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,561
Oh. Saturday is Harper's audition.

193
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:01,740
Yeah, but it's at night.

194
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,381
We'll fly back early. We'll make it.

195
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:04,706
Also, Turner has speech therapy.

196
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:06,310
I have to buy Harper a dress for the audition.

197
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:07,911
We're supposed
to take the kids to the symphony...

198
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:10,742
Honey, we haven't had a
vacation since Barker was born.

199
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,043
- That's five years.
- Mmm-hmm.

200
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:15,814
This conversation is the longest we've been
alone in months.

201
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:18,582
So, great.
I'll call my parents, they'll fly down.

202
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,282
They'll be happy
to watch the kids while we're gone.

203
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:28,464
A cruise. What cruise?

204
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,330
The one that we bought them
for their 40th anniversary.

205
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,732
<i>I said just get them matching tracksuits.</i>

206
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:36,670
Look, we'll figure something out, okay?

207
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:41,101
Well, we could always call your parents.

208
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:49,254
Oh, you're serious.

209
00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:52,652
Yeah. They haven't seen the kids
in what, a year?

210
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:56,451
Ten months is not quite a year.

211
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:57,959
Call them.

212
00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:06,303
- They're not coming.
- Don't you need to talk to them first?

213
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:09,372
You know that they're just going to
say that they can't make it.

214
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,302
What? What?

215
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:13,370
- What?
- The itch.

216
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:16,139
You're kidding.
You're getting your "Artie and Diane Rash"?

217
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:19,443
Have you forgotten how they disapprove
of the way that we parent?

218
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:23,884
My father doesn't listen.
My mother, she's a tornado with lipstick.

219
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:27,051
Alice, we need this vacation.

220
00:10:27,259 --> 00:10:28,317
And as you know...

221
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:33,159
who's going to be with you
in the Hilton Head?

222
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:35,365
Nigel?

223
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,088
That's right.

224
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:40,502
In fact, have you heard me new song?

225
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:45,668
<i>I'm gonna love you
till the police come</i>

226
00:10:47,446 --> 00:10:50,074
Anything for you, Nigel.

227
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,516
Carl flushed my pillow down the toilet.

228
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,382
<i>Toilet overflowing.
Bathroom flooded.</i>

229
00:10:57,590 --> 00:11:00,252
Okay, I'll call my parents.

230
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,626
Artie, pick up the phone!

231
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:11,960
What are you doing?

232
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,469
I can't hear you, the phone's ringing.

233
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:16,608
- Hello?
<i>- Hi, Dad.</i>

234
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,539
- Alice, how are you?
<i>- Is Mom around?</i>

235
00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,712
Yeah, hold on, I'll get her.

236
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:21,777
Your daughter.

237
00:11:21,981 --> 00:11:22,941
Put her on speakerphone.

238
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,879
Don't tell her I was fired.

239
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,919
- Oh, my.
- I got it.

240
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:30,247
- Put her on hold.
- I know.

241
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:31,388
- Put her on hold.
- I'm trying.

242
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:32,630
- Put her on hold.
- I can't.

243
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,125
- Put her on hold.
- You're making me tense.

244
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:35,350
Now, put her on hold.

245
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,586
It's right there.

246
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:38,161
I'm gonna start a fire, here.

247
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,592
Hi, Alice, what's going on?

248
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:45,260
Well, now that you ask...

249
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:49,805
Phil has to go away
next week and I'd really like to go with him.

250
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:51,772
<i>And we need someone to watch the kids,</i>

251
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:53,707
<i>so I was wondering, would you want to?</i>

252
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:55,380
No. No.

253
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,147
We'd love to!

254
00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:58,882
Listen, I'm cooking dinner.

255
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:01,610
I'll call you back in a little bit for the details.

256
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:03,545
She said yes.

257
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:04,654
You said yes.

258
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:06,882
Artie, we practically
never see our grandchildren.

259
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:08,151
We've never seen their new house.

260
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,657
They've never been to Fresno.

261
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,463
I just got fired. I'm licking my wounds.

262
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,063
I'll lick them. Come on!

263
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:14,664
They need someone to take care of the kids.

264
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,198
Can't the house do it?

265
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,559
We have one child.

266
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:22,207
These three kids are the only
grandchildren we're ever going to have.

267
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,810
I'm awkward around those kids.
I don't think they like me.

268
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:29,712
Honey, they don't see you enough.

269
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,406
They have to know you better
before they don't like you.

270
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,853
No, but it's a real thing, Di.
And it all comes from Alice.

271
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,579
Like the last time,
the little one left the house...

272
00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,070
wearing flippers and a bathrobe.

273
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:42,526
So I made a little joke.
I said, "This one, any hope for normal?"

274
00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,992
And I got this withering gaze.

275
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,357
Like you're giving me now.

276
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:48,533
Well, first of all...

277
00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:51,726
it might be a good thing
if you learned "the little one's" name.

278
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:52,926
It's Barker.

279
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,576
Di.

280
00:12:58,377 --> 00:13:01,278
Listen to me, I'm fragile right now.

281
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,538
I need a job.

282
00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:05,273
I don't need Alice's disapproval.
I'm not going.

283
00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:07,577
- You're going.
- That's what I meant.

284
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,584
Her whole way of raising
her kids is a giant...

285
00:13:11,690 --> 00:13:13,385
...in our face.

286
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:16,186
It's her generation. It's just their way.

287
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:19,257
Hey, what are you looking for, sailor?

288
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,400
If you haven't found
it yet, it's not there. I'll help you out.

289
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,600
- Come on!
- He's not done groping.

290
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:31,675
And could she
have found anyone less like me to marry?

291
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,707
What's your
problem with Phil? He's such a sweet guy.

292
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:37,405
He is sweet. I think he breastfed the kids.

293
00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:39,379
Perfect, it's raining.

294
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:41,705
Scattered showers, honey.
It'll be over in 20 minutes.

295
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:42,821
It's an omen.

296
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:44,956
- What's it an omen of?
- Impending doom.

297
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,920
- I have a great idea.
- What's that?

298
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:47,956
Shut up!

299
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,757
I'll think about it.

300
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,798
- You know what grandparenting is?
- What?

301
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,124
A second chance.

302
00:13:56,368 --> 00:13:58,268
That's pretty good.

303
00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:00,110
- And you know what Alice told me?
- What?

304
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:03,300
The kids are over-the-moon excited
about our coming.

305
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,407
Why them?

306
00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:06,441
Because they're your grandparents
and they love you.

307
00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:08,636
D-Do we have to wear these?

308
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:13,413
Well, Grandma made them.
And she thinks you like them.

309
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:15,286
Why would she think that?

310
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,754
Because I told her that you did.

311
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:21,358
Look, it's going to be okay. I promise you.

312
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,289
You know, they're very funny.

313
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,793
Grandpa tells lots of jokes...

314
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,658
that you won't get.

315
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,635
So just laugh.

316
00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:34,704
Just laugh and I promise you
we'll get through this week.

317
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,368
Remember, Mama loves you very much.

318
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:43,008
They're here!

319
00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:47,049
Oh, no.

320
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,217
Hi!

321
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:54,323
Hi!

322
00:14:54,526 --> 00:14:55,720
This is a McStadium.

323
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,452
Hey, thanks for coming.

324
00:14:57,663 --> 00:14:58,459
Hello, Phil.

325
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:01,326
Oh, my goodness!
They're wearing their shirts.

326
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:03,797
I told you, they love those shirts!

327
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:05,368
Give me a kiss.

328
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,840
I'm so excited.

329
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,033
This one's gonna be prettier
than her grandma.

330
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,643
- Harper.
- I know.

331
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,926
- How's the fiddle coming? Still fiddling?
- Mmm-hmm.

332
00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,341
Hello, boys, still single?

333
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,668
Mom, you brought groceries?

334
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:23,787
You know Dad.

335
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,116
He just wanted to make sure
you had food here for him.

336
00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:28,486
Okay, and toilet paper?

337
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:31,356
Well, I know what I like. Aloe.

338
00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,126
Are those for us?

339
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,857
Those are definitely for you!

340
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:38,002
Yep. One for each of you.

341
00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:39,898
Here you go. And for you.

342
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,539
S-Super Squirters! Awesome!

343
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:43,639
You bought them guns.

344
00:15:43,842 --> 00:15:44,740
Yeah.

345
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,845
Dad. We don't do guns.

346
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,311
Hey, if you think
that's something, wait until you see this.

347
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,576
This is classic Artie.

348
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:58,352
Artie Decker bobbleheads.

349
00:15:58,557 --> 00:15:59,797
Here you go. Look at this, huh?

350
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,051
What do you say?

351
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,490
That's creepy. Make it stop!

352
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:06,255
Thank you, Grandpa.

353
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:07,762
Th-Thank you, G-Grandpa.

354
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,663
Hey, you know what?
Since we're all gonna be pals now...

355
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:14,532
instead of calling me
"Grandpa," why don't you call me "Artie"?

356
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:17,732
So it's "Grandma and Artie"
now? What are you, my boyfriend?

357
00:16:17,943 --> 00:16:19,433
No, listen. We went through
all those names last time.

358
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:21,738
I don't want to be "Mup-Mup,"
or "Bup-Bup," or "Boop-Boop."

359
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,039
Those are puppet names.

360
00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:26,446
My name is Artie.
Always been Artie. Call me Artie.

361
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,449
Can I call you "Farty"?

362
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:30,385
That's not a name, dope.

363
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:34,081
Hey, that was a put-down.
You owe me three put-ups.

364
00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:36,958
I like your shoes.
I like your shirt. I like your hair.

365
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,042
Let's go inside.

366
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:39,154
You guys all have to change because

367
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:40,355
we're going out for dinner. Come on.

368
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:41,863
Get the bags, Farty.

369
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:48,133
Alice, this is a beautiful house.

370
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,238
Thank you.

371
00:16:49,441 --> 00:16:50,965
- It's a prototype.
- Prototype?

372
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:55,078
<i>Welcome, Alice and
Phil and Harper and Turner and Barker and...</i>

373
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:57,873
<i>two unidentified guests.</i>

374
00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:59,141
But that's not strange.

375
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,147
It's the <i>R-life.</i>

376
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,877
It's Phil's invention.
It's what he's worked on all this time.

377
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:03,884
Wow.

378
00:17:04,089 --> 00:17:06,956
This is the brain center
to this fully automated...

379
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,320
voice-activated, prototype smart house.

380
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,968
And I'm just going to enter you two
into the system right now.

381
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:13,392
All right.

382
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,323
Beam me up.

383
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:17,797
You all get these portables...

384
00:17:18,003 --> 00:17:21,461
and if there are any problems,
Turner understands the whole system.

385
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:22,738
Turner does?

386
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:25,068
Well, if Turner can do it,
I certainly can't.

387
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,476
Alice, this is so beautiful.

388
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,482
How's work, Dad? How's your season?

389
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:34,117
Very good. Yeah, we had a good season.

390
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:35,809
Yeah, a lot of good kids.

391
00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:37,648
You know, your dad still signs off

392
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:39,450
every broadcast, "Lights out, Alice."

393
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,592
- Really?
- Yeah.

394
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,255
See, when Alice was a little girl,

395
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:44,625
I wasn't home a lot to put her to bed...

396
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:46,263
so on the radio I would say...

397
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:49,923
"Lights out, Alice,"
and it sort of stuck, you know?

398
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:51,329
Wow, that's really nice.

399
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:52,335
Yeah.

400
00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:54,127
I thought so.

401
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:55,796
What's this?

402
00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:58,270
It's some photos.

403
00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:03,648
Pipi and Papi look great.

404
00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:05,680
Yeah.

405
00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:07,442
Here you are.

406
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:09,177
Oh, yeah.

407
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,548
I took that picture!

408
00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:11,916
That was a great day, yeah.

409
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:13,751
Farty wet his pants!

410
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:16,018
Barker, indoor voice.

411
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:19,330
Farty wet his pants! Farty wet his pants!

412
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:23,794
Guns.

413
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:25,333
Guns.

414
00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:28,635
Ow! Ow! Ow!

415
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,208
That's so hot!
What are you doing? It's too hot!

416
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,935
Here, do it yourself.

417
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,044
What's the matter?

418
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,885
- Do you realize what we are?
- What?

419
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:42,811
We're the "other" grandparents.

420
00:18:43,021 --> 00:18:44,420
We can't be all four.

421
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:45,817
I'm serious.

422
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:47,345
They have their real grandparents

423
00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:48,824
that they love and put up on the mantle...

424
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,892
and then there's us.

425
00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:53,394
And who's putting those pictures
on the mantle?

426
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:57,126
Our daughter. She is not sticking up for us.

427
00:18:57,336 --> 00:19:00,464
I don't think the kids
even know what I do. Or did.

428
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:02,196
Look, Artie, I know you're upset

429
00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:03,999
about getting kicked in your career...

430
00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:05,767
but we need to focus, buddy.

431
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,605
Our grandchildren are going to love me.

432
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:09,781
- What about me?
- That's your problem.

433
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,815
Welcome!

434
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,920
- New people.
- Hello.

435
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,997
These are my parents.
They're going to watch the kids this week.

436
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,759
Welcome to Healthy Tiger.

437
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:33,062
All healthy Pan Asian food.

438
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:33,966
What's that?

439
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,403
No MSG, no gluten, no sodium.

440
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:38,769
Just healthy food.

441
00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:41,977
I'm drooling already.

442
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,172
Pan Asian, just like me!

443
00:19:44,383 --> 00:19:45,680
My mother's Japanese,
my father's Chinese...

444
00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,352
my kids are Korean
and they go to Hebrew day school.

445
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,283
<i>Oy vey!</i>

446
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:52,286
Come on. Yeah!

447
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:55,153
How do you ruin Chinese food?

448
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:56,854
Okay.

449
00:19:58,297 --> 00:19:59,662
We seem to have an empty chair.

450
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,105
No, no, that chair is for Carl.

451
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,930
- Who's Carl?
- Barker's friend.

452
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,466
How nice. When's he coming?

453
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:05,967
He's already here.

454
00:20:06,171 --> 00:20:08,264
Hi, Carl. You look great.

455
00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:10,031
Did you get a haircut?

456
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,477
Tell him.

457
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,176
Carl is Barker's imaginary friend.

458
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,678
He's a kangaroo.

459
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:20,057
Maybe we should have eaten
at the Outback.

460
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,489
Kids, go wash your hands.

461
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:31,591
Come on, Carl.

462
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,594
Bye, Farty.

463
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,631
He's in a real
"testing the boundaries" phase.

464
00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:39,702
Plus, he's also a little constipated.

465
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:41,619
Now, you're talking my language.

466
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,505
I have some stuff that will blow his mind.

467
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:45,229
They used it to blast out the Chunnel.

468
00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:46,834
Thank you, Lord Arthur.

469
00:20:47,045 --> 00:20:49,172
Now, do you have any
special instructions for us?

470
00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:51,501
Like, what the kids like to do,
what they like to eat.

471
00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:53,143
Yes, Mom, great. Thank you.

472
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:55,616
First of all, they don't eat any sugar.

473
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:56,879
No Carvel?

474
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,647
That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard in my life.

475
00:20:58,857 --> 00:21:01,121
We have tried to introduce
just a little bit of sugar...

476
00:21:01,326 --> 00:21:05,160
and it was like going off the rails
of the crazy train.

477
00:21:05,364 --> 00:21:06,695
Oh, my gosh!

478
00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:08,778
And there's another subject
I'd like to discuss.

479
00:21:08,867 --> 00:21:09,891
Sure, anything.

480
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,000
Your language.

481
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,537
He won't curse. I'll break his freaking arm.

482
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,973
That's great, but that's not what I meant.

483
00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:18,404
You see, there's a way
that we talk to our kids.

484
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,578
For instance, where you would say "No"...

485
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:23,145
we would say,
"Consider the consequences."

486
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:24,906
Or where you would say, "Don't"...

487
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,244
we would say, "Maybe you should try this."

488
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,515
Or where you would say...

489
00:21:29,721 --> 00:21:31,746
"Quit your whining,
you're giving me a headache"...

490
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,323
we would say, "Use your words."

491
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:35,959
You see, that way, the child feels

492
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,595
that he has value, he has worth.

493
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:39,423
He is heard.

494
00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:41,199
It's a way.

495
00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:44,064
Let's order.

496
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:45,933
Great.

497
00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:49,533
That's very good, but if you stay

498
00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:51,335
inside the lines, it looks better.

499
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:53,204
Here, look at mine, see?

500
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:55,380
Dad, we don't really worry about lines.

501
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:58,044
Honey, draw whatever
your imagination tells you.

502
00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:01,549
But what's the point
of having lines if you're just going to...?

503
00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:02,720
Artie.

504
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:06,357
That's beautiful.
That's absolutely beautiful.

505
00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:07,855
It's very avant-garde.

506
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,755
- Picasso.
- Exactly.

507
00:22:10,395 --> 00:22:12,795
You didn't finish your dinner.
You know the great thing about Chinese...

508
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:16,957
I mean, Pan Asian food,
is that if you mush it all up it's...

509
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,600
- What happened?

510
00:22:20,806 --> 00:22:22,273
- What did you do?
- I don't know.

511
00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:24,874
He doesn't like his food to touch.

512
00:22:25,143 --> 00:22:26,623
I didn't know! Look, I'm un-smushing.

513
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,713
There's so much un-smushed Pan Asian.

514
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:33,947
- What?
- Use your words, Barker.

515
00:22:34,319 --> 00:22:35,877
Use your words.

516
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:39,114
Farty ruined my food! Evil Farty.

517
00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:41,258
Evil Farty, what have you done?

518
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,620
Mama! Dada!

519
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:45,990
Don't go!

520
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,130
I have to go.

521
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:48,266
Don't go!

522
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,100
Would you...? I'm trying to let go!

523
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:51,428
Don't go!

524
00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:53,629
Don't go!

525
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:56,238
D-Don't go!

526
00:22:56,441 --> 00:22:57,237
Just let go.

527
00:22:57,442 --> 00:22:58,670
He's just so strong.

528
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,640
Let go, baby. Let go, baby.

529
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:02,642
- Just get in the car.
- I am trying.

530
00:23:02,848 --> 00:23:04,440
Barker, honey, just...

531
00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:05,946
- Get in the car.
- I love you.

532
00:23:06,151 --> 00:23:07,049
I'm trying to get in the car!

533
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,117
Get in the car.

534
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:09,184
Bye.

535
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,252
No!

536
00:23:10,655 --> 00:23:11,485
Drive.

537
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:12,452
Bye, honeybun.

538
00:23:12,657 --> 00:23:13,919
Goodbye, goodbye.

539
00:23:14,126 --> 00:23:15,354
Honey, stop!

540
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,527
Bye.

541
00:23:17,863 --> 00:23:19,660
- Go.
- Yay!

542
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,464
I'll be home really soon.

543
00:23:21,666 --> 00:23:22,860
No!

544
00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:25,798
Barker's hyperventilating.
Stop the car, please.

545
00:23:27,038 --> 00:23:28,471
- Go, go, go!
- Yay!

546
00:23:28,673 --> 00:23:31,301
Give me your worst, worst case scenario.

547
00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:33,535
Everybody dies.

548
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,714
Then anything short of that will be
a happy surprise.

549
00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:42,046
Onward.

550
00:23:42,654 --> 00:23:44,485
- Really go now.
- No!

551
00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:47,149
Good heavens.

552
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,759
Time for breakfast.
Come on, we got to get to school.

553
00:23:49,961 --> 00:23:53,055
Okay. Let's get this party started!

554
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:54,698
It's going to be great!
It's going to be awesome!

555
00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:56,333
We are going to have so much fun.

556
00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:59,003
This is going to be
the best week of your life!

557
00:23:59,204 --> 00:24:00,171
- Right, Artie?
- Sure thing, Regis.

558
00:24:00,372 --> 00:24:04,433
Okay. Here we go.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.

559
00:24:04,643 --> 00:24:06,372
Oh, my gosh.

560
00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:09,411
This is it, right?

561
00:24:09,614 --> 00:24:12,606
Yeah. I'll see you on the other side.

562
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,084
These are done.

563
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,916
Hot skillet! Sorry.

564
00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,092
All right. Here are your sausages.

565
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,385
Soysages.

566
00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:24,687
Soysages? What are you, from the Bronx?

567
00:24:24,896 --> 00:24:26,656
Did Mom leave my
eggless egg salad for lunch?

568
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:28,527
Eggless egg salad?
How would I recognize it?

569
00:24:28,733 --> 00:24:30,223
<i>The toast is ready.</i>

570
00:24:30,435 --> 00:24:31,475
Di, we have to make lunch!

571
00:24:31,670 --> 00:24:34,138
I know. It's on the counter.
Make the sandwiches.

572
00:24:34,339 --> 00:24:36,204
All right. My waffles, my waffles!

573
00:24:37,576 --> 00:24:38,474
I got it.

574
00:24:40,946 --> 00:24:43,039
Five second rule. Got it.

575
00:24:43,248 --> 00:24:46,775
N-Not too much almond milk
in the c-cereal. It g-gets too wet.

576
00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:48,385
- Is this the right amount?
- Uh-uh.

577
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:49,444
Well, eat fast.

578
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,914
Okay. Here you go.

579
00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:53,454
You have to cut up the berries...

580
00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:56,650
and put one piece in each hole
in the multigrain waffle.

581
00:24:56,862 --> 00:24:58,124
This food can touch?

582
00:24:58,363 --> 00:24:59,830
Eggless egg salad coming up.

583
00:25:00,031 --> 00:25:02,465
Okay, put the lettuce, hit it with the lettuce.

584
00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:03,656
It's fine, they will never know.

585
00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:05,632
No crust, no crust.

586
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:07,557
Now there's no sandwich.
Look what you made.

587
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:12,943
I like them, Carl likes them. Right, Carl?

588
00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:16,807
And your opinion has value.
And, what's the other one?

589
00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:17,811
Worth.

590
00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:21,110
But I know from experience
that wearing heels can be tricky.

591
00:25:21,319 --> 00:25:22,513
Especially during recess.

592
00:25:22,721 --> 00:25:25,417
Wouldn't you and Carl
both be more comfortable in sneakers?

593
00:25:25,624 --> 00:25:26,522
No.

594
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:28,526
Hey, what's going on?
We are going to be late.

595
00:25:30,328 --> 00:25:32,023
<i>It's Project Runway.</i>

596
00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:34,528
I tried handling
it like Alice said, but it's not working.

597
00:25:34,733 --> 00:25:36,462
All right,
get the other two in the car, I'll handle this.

598
00:25:36,668 --> 00:25:37,327
Artie.

599
00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,333
It's okay. Let me try.

600
00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,031
Take off those shoes
and I'll give you a dollar.

601
00:25:44,242 --> 00:25:45,300
- Five.
- Two-fifty.

602
00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:46,670
Deal.

603
00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:48,808
Just punch in "go to school."

604
00:25:49,014 --> 00:25:51,448
Why is this easier than
you just telling me how to get there?

605
00:25:51,650 --> 00:25:53,570
<i>- I heard that.</i>
- Whoa! Whoa!

606
00:25:53,585 --> 00:25:55,951
Is he in there?

607
00:25:56,154 --> 00:25:57,416
It's Dad, and it's a recording.

608
00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:58,886
It's just a little family joke.

609
00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:02,025
Yeah, it's interesting
because, usually, jokes are funny.

610
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,717
But hey, why kill time laughing?

611
00:26:03,929 --> 00:26:05,123
Okay, here you go.

612
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:06,297
- Thank you.
- What?

613
00:26:06,498 --> 00:26:07,458
- "Go garage."
- Go garage.

614
00:26:07,499 --> 00:26:08,431
Say it with force.

615
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:09,567
Go garage. Go garage.

616
00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:11,621
<i>Welcome back, Alice.</i>

617
00:26:12,003 --> 00:26:13,061
Mommy!

618
00:26:13,271 --> 00:26:15,796
Alice, what happened? Where's Phil?

619
00:26:16,007 --> 00:26:17,065
He's on his way to the airport.

620
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:18,300
I'm going to meet him in a few hours.

621
00:26:18,510 --> 00:26:19,408
There's an 8:00 flight tonight.

622
00:26:19,611 --> 00:26:20,339
But...

623
00:26:20,545 --> 00:26:21,545
One of my clients called.

624
00:26:21,546 --> 00:26:23,466
They need me to update
their website immediately.

625
00:26:23,615 --> 00:26:24,936
Can't it wait until you get back?

626
00:26:25,050 --> 00:26:27,484
No, it's ESPN.
There's a crisis with the X Games.

627
00:26:27,686 --> 00:26:28,744
You work for ESPN?

628
00:26:28,954 --> 00:26:31,514
Yeah, I'm one of their web
designers. Honey, get in the backseat.

629
00:26:31,623 --> 00:26:33,250
Really? I didn't know that.

630
00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:37,156
It's interesting. ESPN. Really?

631
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:40,261
Nice school.

632
00:26:40,465 --> 00:26:42,228
How long have you been working for ESPN?

633
00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:43,526
About five years.

634
00:26:43,735 --> 00:26:45,135
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.

635
00:26:48,073 --> 00:26:49,836
Turner...

636
00:26:50,041 --> 00:26:51,872
Artie is going to pick you up after school...

637
00:26:52,077 --> 00:26:54,068
and take you to speech therapy today.

638
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:56,713
Wh-Wh-Where are you-you going to be?

639
00:26:56,915 --> 00:26:58,780
Grandma and I are going
to buy Harper a dress.

640
00:26:58,984 --> 00:27:00,110
Great.

641
00:27:00,318 --> 00:27:01,080
Have a good day, you two.

642
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:02,446
See you later.

643
00:27:02,654 --> 00:27:04,294
I can't believe I'm going to get a tardy.

644
00:27:04,322 --> 00:27:05,812
Six tardies are an absent.

645
00:27:06,024 --> 00:27:07,116
How many does this make?

646
00:27:07,325 --> 00:27:08,451
One.

647
00:27:09,828 --> 00:27:12,092
Does she seem a little tightly wound?

648
00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:15,232
You know, she has HAS.
High Achievement Syndrome.

649
00:27:15,433 --> 00:27:16,400
Did you make that up?

650
00:27:16,601 --> 00:27:17,625
Yes.

651
00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:18,803
Hurry up, I can't get a tardy.

652
00:27:19,004 --> 00:27:22,167
I know she's a little tightly wound.
But we're working on it.

653
00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:24,467
Work on it soon before she explodes.

654
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:30,440
W-W-Watch where you're going,
Tu-Tu-Tu-Turner.

655
00:27:30,849 --> 00:27:32,578
S-S-Sorry.

656
00:27:34,085 --> 00:27:35,780
Hey, did you see that?

657
00:27:35,987 --> 00:27:37,614
Dad, no. No.

658
00:27:37,822 --> 00:27:39,222
Turner's therapist says that he has

659
00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:40,911
to work out peer conflicts on his own.

660
00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:41,993
He has a therapist?

661
00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:44,423
He had one,
and now he has a new one, Dr. Jimmy.

662
00:27:44,629 --> 00:27:45,823
Also a kid?

663
00:27:46,031 --> 00:27:46,793
No.

664
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,627
ESPN again. I need to get to a Wi-Fi.

665
00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:52,325
Maybe I can use the one here.

666
00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:53,977
Go ahead, I'll get Barker to school.

667
00:27:54,105 --> 00:27:55,072
Are you sure?

668
00:27:55,273 --> 00:27:56,501
Sure. What's the problem?

669
00:27:56,708 --> 00:27:57,970
Okay.

670
00:27:58,677 --> 00:27:59,644
Got the <i>R-life.</i>

671
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:02,646
But then pick me up here.
Don't leave me stranded.

672
00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:04,246
Have I ever left you stranded?

673
00:28:04,449 --> 00:28:05,848
Four times when I was a kid.

674
00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:08,246
I love how you remember everything.

675
00:28:19,998 --> 00:28:21,124
Okay, Barker, hop out.

676
00:28:21,332 --> 00:28:23,095
I can't. I'm still buckled in.

677
00:28:23,301 --> 00:28:24,097
Carl, unbuckle him.

678
00:28:24,302 --> 00:28:26,702
Hello? He's at a doctor's appointment.

679
00:28:27,572 --> 00:28:29,335
Stupid me. Okay.

680
00:28:36,481 --> 00:28:38,521
Boy, this is harder than
one of your grandma's bras.

681
00:28:38,683 --> 00:28:39,672
I'm going to be late.

682
00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:41,681
- I'm tr......

683
00:28:43,822 --> 00:28:46,620
It works, okay? Your horn works.

684
00:28:50,695 --> 00:28:52,822
I won't need this by the time you're done.

685
00:28:58,603 --> 00:29:01,037
Here you go. Here.

686
00:29:01,239 --> 00:29:03,707
Careful, he's a runner.

687
00:29:04,676 --> 00:29:07,167
Bye, Farty.

688
00:29:09,547 --> 00:29:11,412
One second.

689
00:29:11,616 --> 00:29:13,311
- Hey, Ash.
- Hey, Cody.

690
00:29:13,518 --> 00:29:15,179
- Did you get my Evite?
- Yep, I'm coming.

691
00:29:15,386 --> 00:29:16,853
Cool.

692
00:29:18,022 --> 00:29:20,183
This is my friend, Harper. This is Cody.

693
00:29:20,391 --> 00:29:21,722
- Hey.
- Hi.

694
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,419
I'm having this birthday thing Friday night.

695
00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:26,561
There's going to be a DJ, and my parents

696
00:29:26,731 --> 00:29:28,596
promised not to be ridiculously lame.

697
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:29,994
Right. Parents.

698
00:29:30,201 --> 00:29:33,762
So, if you want to swing by,
that would be pretty cool.

699
00:29:33,938 --> 00:29:35,735
Oh. Um...

700
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,566
I can't.

701
00:29:40,812 --> 00:29:44,213
I got this thing the next day.

702
00:29:44,415 --> 00:29:45,939
- She has a thing.
- I got a thing.

703
00:29:46,151 --> 00:29:47,709
Okay. That's cool.

704
00:29:47,919 --> 00:29:49,250
Yeah. No, it's super cool.

705
00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:51,422
Well, if you change your mind,
just, you know...

706
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:53,090
Yeah. Totally, I'll...

707
00:29:53,291 --> 00:29:54,258
Cool.

708
00:29:54,826 --> 00:29:56,020
Bye.

709
00:29:58,463 --> 00:29:59,191
Stop it.

710
00:30:01,599 --> 00:30:02,896
<i>Microwave on.</i>

711
00:30:03,101 --> 00:30:04,090
<i>Garbage disposal on.</i>

712
00:30:06,070 --> 00:30:07,628
<i>Vacuum cleaner on.</i>

713
00:30:09,374 --> 00:30:10,894
Oh, please, just let me do the dishes.

714
00:30:11,776 --> 00:30:14,108
<i>Welcome back, Artie Decker.</i>

715
00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:16,579
What a morning.

716
00:30:16,781 --> 00:30:19,272
It's 9 AM, I need a martini.

717
00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:20,746
Tell me something.

718
00:30:21,386 --> 00:30:22,717
Did you believe that story?

719
00:30:22,921 --> 00:30:25,116
Absolutely not. What story?

720
00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:27,086
Alice's work emergency.

721
00:30:27,192 --> 00:30:28,250
You think she was lying?

722
00:30:28,459 --> 00:30:30,552
Why couldn't that
work have been done at Hilton Head?

723
00:30:30,762 --> 00:30:32,923
It's like she doesn't trust us with her kids.

724
00:30:33,131 --> 00:30:34,723
Like she thinks we're idiots.

725
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,430
By the way, where is she?

726
00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:49,309
Where have you been?

727
00:30:51,916 --> 00:30:53,577
I know.

728
00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:03,294
You know, Harper, when I was your age...

729
00:31:03,461 --> 00:31:05,895
this was my favorite time of the day,
right after school.

730
00:31:06,097 --> 00:31:07,223
Why, what did you do?

731
00:31:07,432 --> 00:31:08,660
We used to go to my friend Heidi's house...

732
00:31:08,867 --> 00:31:11,267
put on her mother's clothes,
blast music and smoke.

733
00:31:11,436 --> 00:31:12,835
- Mom!

734
00:31:12,937 --> 00:31:14,905
Don't smoke. Don't smoke.

735
00:31:24,115 --> 00:31:26,015
Oh, Lulu, that was so great.

736
00:31:26,217 --> 00:31:28,097
Honey, you're really
starting to take control...

737
00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:30,915
and literally holding the reins.

738
00:31:31,122 --> 00:31:32,612
Okay, Turner...

739
00:31:32,957 --> 00:31:34,788
would you like to share?

740
00:31:51,175 --> 00:31:52,039
Good work, Turner.

741
00:31:53,211 --> 00:31:54,178
Awesome.

742
00:31:57,415 --> 00:31:59,474
Super job, Lulu. See you next week?

743
00:31:59,684 --> 00:32:00,810
Thank you.

744
00:32:03,054 --> 00:32:05,045
That was really awesome.

745
00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:06,848
I take it you're Turner's grandfather.

746
00:32:07,392 --> 00:32:08,381
Hi.

747
00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:10,223
I'm Artie Decker.

748
00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:12,123
Cassandra.

749
00:32:12,330 --> 00:32:14,059
You seem to be having some trouble

750
00:32:14,165 --> 00:32:15,860
embracing our program, am I right?

751
00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:18,160
Well, let me say first,

752
00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:20,294
that I have professional experience
in this area.

753
00:32:20,505 --> 00:32:22,632
Oh, wonderful.
Where did you receive your degree?

754
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:23,898
Oh, no degree. No.

755
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:27,407
I speak for a living.
I'm a baseball announcer.

756
00:32:28,413 --> 00:32:31,814
Little different than a PhD
in speech therapy from Yale. Right?

757
00:32:32,383 --> 00:32:33,850
- Right. Yeah.

758
00:32:34,552 --> 00:32:36,520
That's a point well taken.

759
00:32:36,721 --> 00:32:38,552
But on the other hand,
I sat here for almost an hour...

760
00:32:38,756 --> 00:32:41,486
and I saw these kids
do everything but speak.

761
00:32:41,693 --> 00:32:43,251
So, are you training them to be mimes?

762
00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:45,929
Because a lot of those jobs
are being shipped overseas.

763
00:32:52,603 --> 00:32:54,628
"I'm walking, but there's wind,

764
00:32:54,739 --> 00:32:56,707
"but there's no wind." You know?

765
00:32:58,242 --> 00:33:01,734
Okay. I am employing
the Houghton method.

766
00:33:01,946 --> 00:33:03,971
Now these kids, they're under
too much pressure to speak...

767
00:33:04,182 --> 00:33:07,345
so we make it very
clear that in here, they need not say a word.

768
00:33:07,552 --> 00:33:09,713
They're currently in a movement phase.

769
00:33:09,921 --> 00:33:10,888
Yeah, I saw that.

770
00:33:11,089 --> 00:33:13,387
They're moving everything but their lips.

771
00:33:13,591 --> 00:33:15,231
And he wears these ear buds all the time.

772
00:33:15,293 --> 00:33:16,555
What's that about?

773
00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:18,422
He is listening to the words
that he has trouble with...

774
00:33:18,629 --> 00:33:21,564
and then when
he's comfortable, he can repeat them.

775
00:33:21,766 --> 00:33:22,994
And it's helping him a lot.

776
00:33:23,201 --> 00:33:24,225
How can you tell?

777
00:33:24,635 --> 00:33:26,432
Listen, I haven't seen the kid in a year...

778
00:33:26,637 --> 00:33:28,764
and frankly, I don't see
any improvement at all.

779
00:33:28,973 --> 00:33:31,407
What I see is my grandson is now Flight 38

780
00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:33,269
- from Salt Lake.

781
00:33:34,645 --> 00:33:35,907
Hey, Turner!

782
00:33:36,114 --> 00:33:38,114
Cassandra's just telling me
how great you're doing.

783
00:33:38,216 --> 00:33:40,912
She sees so much improvement. It's great.

784
00:33:44,055 --> 00:33:47,684
Sometimes I shouldn't move my lips.
I'm sorry.

785
00:33:51,929 --> 00:33:53,260
That's not bad.

786
00:33:53,464 --> 00:33:55,932
"Not bad"?
She looks like a 12-year-old widow.

787
00:33:56,901 --> 00:33:58,869
- I do?
- You do.

788
00:33:59,070 --> 00:34:01,732
But that's perfect
for a classical music program.

789
00:34:01,939 --> 00:34:03,634
Well, what about this?

790
00:34:03,841 --> 00:34:06,901
This is perfect for someone
with a cute little hiney.

791
00:34:07,445 --> 00:34:08,434
I love it.

792
00:34:08,646 --> 00:34:11,137
Mom, it's for a concert,
not to meet the fleet.

793
00:34:11,349 --> 00:34:14,147
Hey, it's an audition,
and all auditions are alike.

794
00:34:14,352 --> 00:34:15,649
"Get their attention!"

795
00:34:15,853 --> 00:34:17,377
You sell the sizzle, not the steak.

796
00:34:17,588 --> 00:34:19,389
That's how I got all those weather girl jobs.

797
00:34:19,524 --> 00:34:21,287
So, are you a trained meteorologist?

798
00:34:21,492 --> 00:34:22,459
Trained?

799
00:34:22,660 --> 00:34:24,719
Oh, honey, I had a tight dress and a pointer.

800
00:34:24,929 --> 00:34:26,328
I used to sing my forecasts.

801
00:34:26,531 --> 00:34:28,092
As a matter of fact, sometimes your mom

802
00:34:28,166 --> 00:34:30,259
used to sing them with me on TV.

803
00:34:30,468 --> 00:34:31,662
Mom, you never even told me that!

804
00:34:31,769 --> 00:34:32,758
I mentioned it.

805
00:34:32,970 --> 00:34:34,850
Remember our winter song?
That was our best one.

806
00:34:35,006 --> 00:34:36,206
No, I don't remember that one.

807
00:34:36,307 --> 00:34:37,296
Sure you do.

808
00:34:37,508 --> 00:34:38,736
We sang it 1,000 times.

809
00:34:38,943 --> 00:34:41,605
I love you. Come on, please.
No one's watching.

810
00:34:41,813 --> 00:34:42,745
Only for you.

811
00:34:42,947 --> 00:34:44,244
Ready?

812
00:34:44,449 --> 00:34:48,783
<i>Button up your overcoat
in the wintry breeze</i>

813
00:34:48,986 --> 00:34:52,945
<i>Take good care of yourself
'cause it's nine degrees!</i>

814
00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:54,581
Good job, Mom.

815
00:34:54,792 --> 00:34:55,656
Do the spin.

816
00:34:55,860 --> 00:34:58,658
Okay.
I'll never shop at Bloomingdale's again.

817
00:34:58,863 --> 00:35:00,626
Aw! You still got it, kiddo.

818
00:35:00,832 --> 00:35:02,493
That was great. Ah!

819
00:35:03,067 --> 00:35:04,591
All right, now...

820
00:35:04,802 --> 00:35:07,003
you've got to try this on.
I'm dying to see this on you.

821
00:35:07,171 --> 00:35:08,468
- Okay.
- Okay.

822
00:35:08,673 --> 00:35:12,871
Mom. She cannot wear
a cocktail dress to the audition.

823
00:35:13,077 --> 00:35:15,307
I'd like to feel that you're listening to me.

824
00:35:15,513 --> 00:35:17,233
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
Did you say something?

825
00:35:17,748 --> 00:35:18,510
No, no.

826
00:35:18,716 --> 00:35:20,650
Look at this. This is a hot little number.

827
00:35:22,420 --> 00:35:24,718
Oh, not for her. For me.

828
00:35:24,922 --> 00:35:26,685
Cue the band.

829
00:35:29,594 --> 00:35:32,085
Hey. What are you doing?

830
00:35:32,296 --> 00:35:33,763
Guarding the door.

831
00:35:33,965 --> 00:35:34,932
Can I go in?

832
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,259
Not today, sir.

833
00:35:36,467 --> 00:35:37,491
Is he crying?

834
00:35:37,602 --> 00:35:39,832
He doesn't cry, he makes the face.

835
00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:43,597
I didn't mean to upset him.

836
00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:45,867
You should've used your exit shoes.

837
00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:46,702
My what?

838
00:35:46,911 --> 00:35:50,369
Exit shoes, to walk away
and not use a red voice.

839
00:35:50,581 --> 00:35:52,139
And a red voice is...?

840
00:35:52,350 --> 00:35:56,343
Super-mad sounding.
You shouldn't use it. Never.

841
00:35:56,554 --> 00:35:59,717
- Uh-huh.
- That's why you have a cool toolbox.

842
00:35:59,924 --> 00:36:02,085
It's where you keep your cool blue voice,

843
00:36:02,193 --> 00:36:04,320
your exit shoes and your repair squares.

844
00:36:04,929 --> 00:36:06,123
Where did you learn all this?

845
00:36:06,330 --> 00:36:07,228
Preschool.

846
00:36:07,431 --> 00:36:09,626
You mean, there are more kids like you?

847
00:36:09,834 --> 00:36:12,632
I'm doomed. All right, I'm going in there.

848
00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:14,202
What's in it for me?

849
00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:21,076
Thank you.

850
00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,404
The little capitalist.

851
00:36:27,351 --> 00:36:28,181
Hi, there.

852
00:36:28,386 --> 00:36:32,186
All right, so I am taking a repair
square out of my cool toolbox...

853
00:36:32,390 --> 00:36:35,154
to say in my blue voice, that I am sorry.

854
00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:37,995
So, are we good now?

855
00:36:38,296 --> 00:36:39,092
No.

856
00:36:39,297 --> 00:36:40,924
- Would you like five dollars?
- No.

857
00:36:41,132 --> 00:36:43,828
An unopened package
of men's size 34 underwear?

858
00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:44,831
No.

859
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,867
Is there anything I can do
to make this right?

860
00:36:47,238 --> 00:36:50,366
W-Well, th-there is one thing.

861
00:36:54,278 --> 00:36:55,040
Aaargh!

862
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,745
They made six of these?

863
00:37:00,151 --> 00:37:01,584
<i>Oy.</i>

864
00:37:02,019 --> 00:37:04,749
Now, this is Artie's idea of fun.

865
00:37:05,156 --> 00:37:07,556
Ooh! Look at that.

866
00:37:07,758 --> 00:37:10,056
Who knew ice cream could be a cake?

867
00:37:10,261 --> 00:37:12,252
Yeah. All right, now here's the deal.

868
00:37:12,463 --> 00:37:13,828
Just little pieces...

869
00:37:14,031 --> 00:37:17,057
and you don't tell Mommy
about the movie...

870
00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:19,930
and I don't tell her about the cake.

871
00:37:20,137 --> 00:37:22,833
Okay? All right? Deal? Friends again?

872
00:37:22,974 --> 00:37:23,814
High five! All right.

873
00:37:24,809 --> 00:37:29,337
<i>Incoming
message. Urgent e-mail from "E-spen."</i>

874
00:37:29,580 --> 00:37:31,445
ESPN...

875
00:37:38,956 --> 00:37:40,787
Pam Rosen.

876
00:37:42,793 --> 00:37:44,226
You guys okay?

877
00:37:44,562 --> 00:37:46,587
I will be right back.

878
00:37:55,573 --> 00:37:57,234
Ms. Pam Rosen, please.

879
00:37:57,441 --> 00:38:00,740
My name is Cal R. Life.

880
00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:05,382
Yeah. L-Y-P-H-E-T. The "T" is silent.

881
00:38:06,150 --> 00:38:08,880
What a great day.
It's like a birthday that came early.

882
00:38:09,086 --> 00:38:10,075
It was a great day.

883
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:12,483
And my forecast for the rest of the week...

884
00:38:12,590 --> 00:38:13,750
- Sunny, sunny, sunny.

885
00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:15,391
Back to you, Herb.

886
00:38:15,593 --> 00:38:17,788
Oh, it's your dad, I'll be right in.

887
00:38:17,995 --> 00:38:18,723
Hi!

888
00:38:18,929 --> 00:38:20,419
Today is your lucky day, Ms. Rosen.

889
00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:23,225
The catfish just jumped
right into your frying pan.

890
00:38:23,434 --> 00:38:25,800
Yeah, Artie Decker, "De Voice" is in town.

891
00:38:26,003 --> 00:38:28,403
He heard about your X Games
and he would love to audition.

892
00:38:28,606 --> 00:38:31,439
I'm just walking in.
Video chat me in 2 minutes, okay?

893
00:38:31,642 --> 00:38:34,236
Hi, Artie, we're back!
Did you have fun with the boys?

894
00:38:35,846 --> 00:38:38,440
Look at this place!
We're going to have to call FEMA!

895
00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:39,343
Cake.

896
00:38:39,550 --> 00:38:41,279
- Where's Artie?
- He left!

897
00:38:41,485 --> 00:38:42,452
He left?

898
00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:43,950
- If your mother sees this...

899
00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:45,087
What's going on?

900
00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:47,980
- Hi.

901
00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:49,315
What did you do?

902
00:38:49,527 --> 00:38:51,324
I just got here!

903
00:38:51,529 --> 00:38:52,826
You gave them cake?

904
00:38:53,030 --> 00:38:54,463
I gave them slivers.

905
00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:55,996
Why? Why, Artie?

906
00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:58,860
Because he upset Turner at Speech Class.

907
00:38:59,070 --> 00:39:00,230
- What?
- It was nothing.

908
00:39:00,237 --> 00:39:01,363
I just asked a question.

909
00:39:01,472 --> 00:39:02,952
"Why is nobody speaking?" That's all.

910
00:39:04,041 --> 00:39:05,521
<i>Hello, love!</i>

911
00:39:05,543 --> 00:39:09,172
<i>I can't wait for
you to get here, me little rabbit.</i>

912
00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:11,915
Shh! Not now! Oh, my.

913
00:39:12,783 --> 00:39:14,774
- Did he have a tattoo?
- Hmm?

914
00:39:17,455 --> 00:39:18,353
Harper?

915
00:39:19,657 --> 00:39:22,091
Mom! You lied to me!

916
00:39:22,293 --> 00:39:23,988
Yogurt is not like ice cream!

917
00:39:24,095 --> 00:39:25,119
No, honey.

918
00:39:27,832 --> 00:39:28,628
Baby?

919
00:39:29,834 --> 00:39:31,631
- My favorite!
- Harper!

920
00:39:32,470 --> 00:39:33,960
Ooh!

921
00:39:37,508 --> 00:39:41,808
This perfectly sums up
your entire approach to parenting.

922
00:39:42,012 --> 00:39:42,979
We had an approach?

923
00:39:43,180 --> 00:39:44,147
I don't know.

924
00:39:44,348 --> 00:39:47,943
<i>Would Artie and
Turner like to continue watching Saw?</i>

925
00:39:48,152 --> 00:39:50,120
You must be mistaken.

926
00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:52,221
<i>Saw, Rated R for strong graphic violence,</i>

927
00:39:52,323 --> 00:39:53,517
<i>nudity and language.</i>

928
00:39:53,724 --> 00:39:54,713
No.

929
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:56,523
<i>Why did he give them cake?</i>

930
00:39:56,827 --> 00:39:59,057
Because he does what he wants
and she defends him!

931
00:39:59,263 --> 00:40:00,287
Where are the kids now?

932
00:40:00,731 --> 00:40:03,131
Oh, I put them
on the treadmill until they calm down.

933
00:40:03,334 --> 00:40:05,825
<i>I told you my parents couldn't handle this.</i>

934
00:40:06,036 --> 00:40:09,005
Maybe it's just a case
of first-day, worst-day.

935
00:40:09,106 --> 00:40:10,095
Oh.

936
00:40:10,207 --> 00:40:13,199
Hey. You better hurry up.
You're going to miss your flight.

937
00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:15,879
Honey, I don't think that I should go today.

938
00:40:16,547 --> 00:40:17,947
Maybe I should go tomorrow morning.

939
00:40:18,048 --> 00:40:18,980
<i>Okay. Yeah.</i>

940
00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:21,141
<i>We'll still have four days together.</i>

941
00:40:21,685 --> 00:40:22,481
<i>Okay.</i>

942
00:40:22,686 --> 00:40:23,880
You look good in cake.

943
00:40:29,293 --> 00:40:31,022
What in the world is wrong with you?

944
00:40:31,529 --> 00:40:32,723
What did I say?

945
00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:34,420
What did I say to you?

946
00:40:34,632 --> 00:40:35,753
Just talk to me. Don't yell.

947
00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:37,813
I said, "Artie,
this is a second chance for us."

948
00:40:37,935 --> 00:40:39,266
I said, "Artie, please behave."

949
00:40:39,470 --> 00:40:42,030
I said, "Artie, I really want
those kids to love us!"

950
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,901
Or can't you remember
all the way back to yesterday?

951
00:40:45,109 --> 00:40:46,076
Okay, that's what I did.

952
00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:48,245
When the cake
went in their mouths they loved me!

953
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:51,381
Yeah, and now Alice
doesn't want to leave us alone with them.

954
00:40:51,582 --> 00:40:52,549
She doesn't trust us!

955
00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:53,717
She said that?

956
00:40:53,918 --> 00:40:55,351
On the phone to Phil.

957
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,548
I accidentally overheard her
when I was listening at the door.

958
00:40:58,989 --> 00:41:01,389
She thinks we're a pair of knuckleheads.

959
00:41:01,725 --> 00:41:03,090
Especially you!

960
00:41:06,464 --> 00:41:08,557
It's the bottom of the ninth, Artie.

961
00:41:08,766 --> 00:41:10,597
We're going to lose the game.

962
00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:12,230
Shape up.

963
00:41:33,757 --> 00:41:34,781
Oh!

964
00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:37,251
Wonderful. Oh!

965
00:41:39,830 --> 00:41:41,058
Bravo.

966
00:41:42,132 --> 00:41:45,431
Oh, wow! Harper, that was wonderful!

967
00:41:45,636 --> 00:41:46,603
I stunk.

968
00:41:46,804 --> 00:41:47,885
You most certainly did not!

969
00:41:49,707 --> 00:41:51,402
Wasn't she wonderful?

970
00:41:51,609 --> 00:41:52,489
No.

971
00:41:52,610 --> 00:41:54,771
This will not be good enough
for your audition!

972
00:41:54,979 --> 00:41:56,469
You must practice more!

973
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,308
When my daughter underperforms,
I shun her.

974
00:41:59,517 --> 00:42:01,508
This girl should be shunned!

975
00:42:01,952 --> 00:42:04,978
Practice, practice, practice!

976
00:42:05,823 --> 00:42:07,415
Gee whiz.

977
00:42:07,625 --> 00:42:10,492
Wasn't she the villain
in the last James Bond movie?

978
00:42:11,629 --> 00:42:12,950
Oh! Sweetie, don't listen to her.

979
00:42:14,398 --> 00:42:17,162
You know back in Amarillo,
when Artie was announcing there...

980
00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:19,598
I got this audition
to be the local weather girl.

981
00:42:19,803 --> 00:42:21,703
Well, I was so uptight.

982
00:42:21,906 --> 00:42:25,171
Artie took me out the night before and we
both got bombed!

983
00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:27,435
And the next day I got the job.

984
00:42:28,145 --> 00:42:29,669
So, you're saying I should drink?

985
00:42:30,948 --> 00:42:32,677
No, no, no. I'm not saying that.

986
00:42:32,883 --> 00:42:35,511
I am saying that perhaps you could relax.

987
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:37,119
You could go out with your friends.

988
00:42:37,187 --> 00:42:40,020
You could have some fun Friday night.
You know?

989
00:42:40,424 --> 00:42:43,757
Friday, I was invited to a...

990
00:42:44,261 --> 00:42:45,285
Oh.

991
00:42:48,065 --> 00:42:48,895
No.

992
00:42:49,199 --> 00:42:50,166
No, no, no!

993
00:42:50,801 --> 00:42:53,998
I have three more days!
I have to practice! I have to...

994
00:42:54,204 --> 00:42:56,832
I have to practice every second!

995
00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:01,776
Doctor Schveer?

996
00:43:02,313 --> 00:43:03,371
Yes?

997
00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:05,344
Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot.

998
00:43:05,549 --> 00:43:06,709
But I would like to let you know that...

999
00:43:06,917 --> 00:43:09,545
if you ever speak
to my granddaughter like that again...

1000
00:43:09,753 --> 00:43:11,114
there will be nothing left of you,

1001
00:43:11,155 --> 00:43:12,435
but some red hair and an accent!

1002
00:43:12,623 --> 00:43:14,386
Is that clear, comrade?

1003
00:43:38,816 --> 00:43:40,613
Ooh! Thank you. Here you go.

1004
00:43:40,884 --> 00:43:42,010
Mmm!

1005
00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:45,477
Carcinogens.

1006
00:43:46,523 --> 00:43:47,923
Oh, the first one just laid a base.

1007
00:43:48,025 --> 00:43:50,493
This is the real thing. I'm at the ballpark.

1008
00:43:54,765 --> 00:43:56,392
He likes baseball, huh?

1009
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:57,567
Yeah, he likes lots of things.

1010
00:43:57,768 --> 00:44:01,260
He likes sports.
He likes science, he likes movies.

1011
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:02,769
He likes cake.

1012
00:44:02,973 --> 00:44:04,133
Touché.

1013
00:44:05,009 --> 00:44:07,842
He's just hidden behind that... stutter.

1014
00:44:08,045 --> 00:44:10,639
Well, you know, kids have a way
of working these things out.

1015
00:44:11,148 --> 00:44:12,115
No, they don't, Dad.

1016
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:13,977
That's why there's prison.

1017
00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:17,647
All right, guys, bring it in!

1018
00:44:17,688 --> 00:44:19,368
Bring it in! Get all those hands in there.

1019
00:44:19,456 --> 00:44:20,354
Come on.

1020
00:44:20,557 --> 00:44:23,822
Everybody on three. One, two, three...

1021
00:44:24,028 --> 00:44:25,962
Let's have fun!

1022
00:44:27,231 --> 00:44:29,699
I am so excited about this.

1023
00:44:30,234 --> 00:44:31,166
Let's play!

1024
00:44:31,368 --> 00:44:32,266
He's pitching!

1025
00:44:32,469 --> 00:44:33,197
Yeah.

1026
00:44:33,404 --> 00:44:34,393
He has a good arm.

1027
00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:35,472
Like Mom, like son.

1028
00:44:35,673 --> 00:44:36,640
Yeah, right.

1029
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,171
No, you had a hose.

1030
00:44:38,375 --> 00:44:40,104
But then you hit puberty
and you got all girlie on me.

1031
00:44:40,310 --> 00:44:42,301
Well, gee, Dad,
I'm so sorry that I hit puberty.

1032
00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:43,793
I was so proud of you back then.

1033
00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:45,508
You were usually the only girl out there.

1034
00:44:45,916 --> 00:44:48,111
You used to stand up to those stinky boys.

1035
00:44:48,318 --> 00:44:50,218
Do you remember that summer
when you worked for me in the booth...

1036
00:44:50,421 --> 00:44:52,150
keeping score and doing stats?

1037
00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:53,721
You were so cute, sitting there

1038
00:44:53,824 --> 00:44:55,849
- scrunched over your little pencil.

1039
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:57,961
You never saw that ball coming, did you?

1040
00:44:58,062 --> 00:44:59,154
You could have yelled "Incoming."

1041
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:01,283
I was on the air.
I didn't want to start a panic.

1042
00:45:01,398 --> 00:45:03,161
You do love that job.

1043
00:45:03,367 --> 00:45:04,391
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1044
00:45:04,601 --> 00:45:05,568
Yeah, I do.

1045
00:45:05,769 --> 00:45:06,736
Batter up!

1046
00:45:08,072 --> 00:45:09,539
Ah! This is that bully kid.

1047
00:45:09,740 --> 00:45:10,900
Yeah, Ivan.

1048
00:45:11,108 --> 00:45:13,474
I would so like to see Turner strike him out.

1049
00:45:23,887 --> 00:45:24,512
Strike!

1050
00:45:24,955 --> 00:45:28,186
Strike one!
Hey, he is really good. He's really good.

1051
00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:29,859
Way to go, Turner!

1052
00:45:30,060 --> 00:45:31,027
Turner Simmons on the mound...

1053
00:45:31,228 --> 00:45:33,696
a young Cuban prospect
who escaped on a raft.

1054
00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:35,330
He's facing Ivan, a miserable child

1055
00:45:35,432 --> 00:45:37,033
who is loathed and despised by everyone.

1056
00:45:37,034 --> 00:45:38,274
- Dad!

1057
00:45:41,238 --> 00:45:43,866
Swing and a miss! Strike two! Hoo-hoo!

1058
00:45:43,974 --> 00:45:45,566
One more strike and it's back

1059
00:45:45,676 --> 00:45:47,200
to the dugout
for this eight-year-old bullfrog.

1060
00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:48,309
Dad...

1061
00:45:48,545 --> 00:45:51,639
The yearbook said
Ivan is "Most likely to do time."

1062
00:45:53,684 --> 00:45:55,015
Simmons looks at him.

1063
00:45:57,287 --> 00:45:58,311
He shakes it off.

1064
00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:03,560
Here's the pitch.

1065
00:46:04,695 --> 00:46:07,220
Strike three!
You're out of there!

1066
00:46:08,932 --> 00:46:10,490
Lights out, Alice!

1067
00:46:13,971 --> 00:46:15,905
Way to go, Turner! Way to look!

1068
00:46:16,173 --> 00:46:18,607
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Blue, Blue! That's three strikes!

1069
00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:20,910
One, two, three! Out of there!

1070
00:46:21,145 --> 00:46:22,407
Time!

1071
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:23,904
It's okay!

1072
00:46:24,114 --> 00:46:26,173
This is my dad and he's new here!

1073
00:46:26,483 --> 00:46:29,111
Oh, okay. There are no outs in this game.

1074
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,618
No outs? How is that possible?

1075
00:46:31,822 --> 00:46:35,349
They hit until they get on base.

1076
00:46:35,559 --> 00:46:37,254
- Seriously?
- Seriously.

1077
00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:39,101
- Dad, why don't we just sit down?
- Oh...

1078
00:46:41,064 --> 00:46:42,031
All right.

1079
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,200
But you know that's kind of stupid!

1080
00:46:44,301 --> 00:46:46,735
Because if you just think of the song...

1081
00:46:46,937 --> 00:46:49,297
<i>'Cause it's one, two,
three strikes, you're out...</i>

1082
00:46:49,406 --> 00:46:50,737
<i>at the old ball game</i>

1083
00:46:50,941 --> 00:46:51,635
Not...

1084
00:46:51,842 --> 00:46:53,207
<i>until you get a hit</i>

1085
00:46:53,410 --> 00:46:55,878
He's right!
I hate these games! What's the point?

1086
00:46:56,079 --> 00:46:58,639
The point is for the kids
to enjoy the game without competition.

1087
00:46:58,849 --> 00:47:00,214
Yeah, but competition is the game.

1088
00:47:00,417 --> 00:47:01,475
You know, it's like life.

1089
00:47:01,685 --> 00:47:02,777
Let me ask you something.

1090
00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:04,666
I mean, how do you even
know who's winning?

1091
00:47:04,755 --> 00:47:06,222
In this league, we don't keep score.

1092
00:47:06,790 --> 00:47:09,782
Every game ends in a tie.

1093
00:47:10,961 --> 00:47:12,223
Oh, no.

1094
00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:15,489
No agony of defeat? Just the thrill of a tie?

1095
00:47:15,699 --> 00:47:17,257
It's good they don't keep score!

1096
00:47:17,467 --> 00:47:18,764
Yeah, 'cause your kid stinks.

1097
00:47:18,969 --> 00:47:20,493
Oh, I will bust you up!

1098
00:47:20,704 --> 00:47:22,262
The old guy's right. It's boring.

1099
00:47:22,472 --> 00:47:23,097
See?

1100
00:47:23,307 --> 00:47:25,036
It is not boring!

1101
00:47:25,409 --> 00:47:27,206
They're children and they're having fun!

1102
00:47:27,411 --> 00:47:29,743
And there's plenty of time
in their lives to keep score!

1103
00:47:29,947 --> 00:47:31,380
- And you are out!
- No, I'm not.

1104
00:47:31,582 --> 00:47:33,482
Oh, yeah. Turner, you struck him out.

1105
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:34,884
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.

1106
00:47:35,085 --> 00:47:36,085
- You're out.
- No, I'm not!

1107
00:47:36,086 --> 00:47:36,780
- You're out!
- No, I'm not!

1108
00:47:36,987 --> 00:47:38,079
- Three strikes, you're out!
- No, I'm not!

1109
00:47:38,288 --> 00:47:39,414
Barker, what's going on?

1110
00:47:39,623 --> 00:47:41,215
Farty is going crazy.

1111
00:47:41,425 --> 00:47:42,392
Again?

1112
00:47:42,593 --> 00:47:43,958
- You're out!
- No, you're out!

1113
00:47:46,263 --> 00:47:49,824
Ivan, no hitting!
Use your words!

1114
00:47:50,033 --> 00:47:51,432
Yes, Mom.

1115
00:47:51,635 --> 00:47:55,969
I'm angry that you said I was out.

1116
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,739
Well, it's not boring anymore.

1117
00:48:07,317 --> 00:48:09,182
How is this Artie's fault?

1118
00:48:09,386 --> 00:48:12,014
All I saw was
that little monster grab a baseball bat...

1119
00:48:12,222 --> 00:48:14,588
and hit your father in his... special place.

1120
00:48:14,791 --> 00:48:16,986
Well, you didn't see what led up to it.

1121
00:48:17,194 --> 00:48:17,785
Oh!

1122
00:48:19,363 --> 00:48:21,263
- It was my fault.
- Oh, honey.

1123
00:48:21,665 --> 00:48:23,360
You threatened her violin teacher?

1124
00:48:23,967 --> 00:48:24,991
She says "threatened."

1125
00:48:25,202 --> 00:48:27,295
I say "defended my granddaughter."

1126
00:48:30,007 --> 00:48:30,996
- Phil?
- Hey.

1127
00:48:31,208 --> 00:48:33,301
Hey, we won. I won!

1128
00:48:33,477 --> 00:48:35,672
I won! Can you believe it?

1129
00:48:35,879 --> 00:48:37,813
Oh, my gosh!

1130
00:48:38,015 --> 00:48:40,609
That's fantastic! That's fantastic!

1131
00:48:40,817 --> 00:48:42,682
- Daddy won!
- Congrats, Dad!

1132
00:48:42,886 --> 00:48:45,684
So, they're
giving me the award tomorrow night.

1133
00:48:45,889 --> 00:48:46,981
When are you getting here?

1134
00:48:47,190 --> 00:48:49,150
You don't know
what's going on here. It's madness.

1135
00:48:49,192 --> 00:48:51,490
We can't leave our children
with my parents.

1136
00:48:51,695 --> 00:48:53,890
So, what are you saying?
That you're not coming?

1137
00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,531
Phil, please listen to me. Try to understand.

1138
00:48:56,733 --> 00:48:57,700
<i>I'm sorry.</i>

1139
00:48:57,901 --> 00:49:00,199
Yeah. I understand perfectly.

1140
00:49:00,404 --> 00:49:01,462
All right. Um...

1141
00:49:03,573 --> 00:49:04,870
See you when I get back.

1142
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:11,614
Okay. We're going home.

1143
00:49:11,815 --> 00:49:12,782
No.

1144
00:49:13,150 --> 00:49:14,139
No?

1145
00:49:14,251 --> 00:49:15,343
Artie and the kids are going home.

1146
00:49:15,552 --> 00:49:17,486
I am taking you to the airport.

1147
00:49:17,688 --> 00:49:18,382
What?

1148
00:49:18,588 --> 00:49:20,647
Alice, your dad and I have

1149
00:49:20,757 --> 00:49:22,884
bent over backwards
to try to do things your way.

1150
00:49:23,093 --> 00:49:24,890
You haven't bent over at all.

1151
00:49:25,095 --> 00:49:27,222
Oh, I'm bent. Believe me, I'm bent.

1152
00:49:27,431 --> 00:49:28,955
Now, look. You asked us to come here

1153
00:49:29,066 --> 00:49:30,158
and take care of our grandchildren...

1154
00:49:30,367 --> 00:49:32,130
and you haven't given
us the chance to do it.

1155
00:49:32,336 --> 00:49:34,634
You have been on our backs,
especially your dad's...

1156
00:49:34,838 --> 00:49:35,805
ever since we got here!

1157
00:49:36,006 --> 00:49:39,203
Okay, take his side,
because you always do anyway.

1158
00:49:39,409 --> 00:49:40,569
And for a good reason.

1159
00:49:40,677 --> 00:49:42,440
Because after your kids grow up,

1160
00:49:42,612 --> 00:49:44,375
your husband is the one who stays.

1161
00:49:44,581 --> 00:49:47,209
Alice, I know
you're trying to be a perfect parent...

1162
00:49:47,417 --> 00:49:49,749
but, honey, there's no such thing.

1163
00:49:49,953 --> 00:49:52,148
And frankly, you need to show Phil...

1164
00:49:52,356 --> 00:49:56,053
he's not just their father,
he's also your husband.

1165
00:49:56,893 --> 00:49:59,589
Alice, I'm your mom.
Take it from me, I really get it.

1166
00:49:59,796 --> 00:50:02,356
"Love the man, love the dream."

1167
00:50:02,566 --> 00:50:04,363
Well, your husband's dream
is coming true...

1168
00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:07,196
and part of that dream
is you being there with him!

1169
00:50:07,404 --> 00:50:09,201
How can you not go?

1170
00:50:09,473 --> 00:50:11,031
Oh, honey, you have to go.

1171
00:50:11,942 --> 00:50:13,170
You're going!

1172
00:50:13,577 --> 00:50:14,771
What about my clothes?

1173
00:50:14,878 --> 00:50:16,038
I don't think he wants you in clothes.

1174
00:50:16,246 --> 00:50:17,543
Besides, your luggage is already there.

1175
00:50:17,748 --> 00:50:20,046
Hey, kids, Mommy's finally going.

1176
00:50:20,250 --> 00:50:21,615
What about my audition?

1177
00:50:21,818 --> 00:50:23,581
I'll take care of it! It'll be fantastic!

1178
00:50:23,787 --> 00:50:24,947
See you at the ranch.

1179
00:50:25,155 --> 00:50:26,417
Oh, no. Bye!

1180
00:50:26,623 --> 00:50:27,590
This is a happy day.

1181
00:50:27,791 --> 00:50:29,884
<i>Oh, happy day</i>

1182
00:50:31,128 --> 00:50:33,289
Could you drive? I don't feel good.

1183
00:51:00,524 --> 00:51:03,425
Gonna stand
there gawking? Gonna let me in?

1184
00:51:19,776 --> 00:51:22,336
No score here in the bottom
of the seventh with 2 outs.

1185
00:51:22,546 --> 00:51:25,606
The Giants and the Atlanta
Braves locked into a pitching duel.

1186
00:51:25,816 --> 00:51:27,784
Lincecum and Hudson,
both have been fantastic.

1187
00:51:27,984 --> 00:51:31,579
As Buster Posey steps in,
takes a strike in the inside corner.

1188
00:51:31,788 --> 00:51:34,518
I got to tell you friends,
this is one of those nights...

1189
00:51:34,724 --> 00:51:38,922
72 degrees, 45,000 fans,
smell of the popcorn, the hot dogs...

1190
00:51:39,129 --> 00:51:41,359
all of those clichés,
but I'll tell you something...

1191
00:51:41,565 --> 00:51:43,590
there's no other place I'd rather be.

1192
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,825
Posey hits
a line drive to third and that'll do it.

1193
00:51:46,036 --> 00:51:47,936
That's it, no score through seven.

1194
00:51:48,138 --> 00:51:52,507
We'll be back. This is Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Giants.

1195
00:52:00,750 --> 00:52:03,048
<i>Reminder: No school today.</i>

1196
00:52:03,253 --> 00:52:05,187
<i>You have tickets for the symphony.</i>

1197
00:52:06,723 --> 00:52:08,623
What's wrong with your face?

1198
00:52:08,825 --> 00:52:10,626
Oh, and you're such
a pleasure in the morning?

1199
00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:13,190
You're not going to like this.

1200
00:52:15,465 --> 00:52:17,456
Barker!

1201
00:52:22,772 --> 00:52:24,137
Ow! Ow! Ow!

1202
00:52:24,908 --> 00:52:25,932
Is it coming off?

1203
00:52:26,042 --> 00:52:27,441
- Well, not exactly.

1204
00:52:27,644 --> 00:52:30,169
Sorry, Farty.

1205
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:31,544
Mmm-hmm.

1206
00:52:35,485 --> 00:52:36,452
Let's go!

1207
00:52:36,653 --> 00:52:38,644
I gotta go number two!
I gotta go number two!

1208
00:52:38,822 --> 00:52:40,449
No, we're already late!

1209
00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:42,124
Artie, just take him.

1210
00:52:42,325 --> 00:52:44,156
All right. Okay, batter up! Let's go.

1211
00:52:44,361 --> 00:52:47,125
No, no, he can hold it, guys.
He's fine, he can hold it!

1212
00:52:47,330 --> 00:52:48,524
The symphony starts at two!

1213
00:52:51,601 --> 00:52:52,568
Quarter?

1214
00:52:52,669 --> 00:52:53,727
Not today, thank you.

1215
00:52:54,037 --> 00:52:55,231
Okay.

1216
00:52:55,438 --> 00:52:56,905
- Hey, buddy.
- Sorry!

1217
00:52:58,175 --> 00:52:58,675
So sorry.

1218
00:52:59,209 --> 00:53:00,198
That's not human.

1219
00:53:01,444 --> 00:53:03,241
- Hurry up!
- Yeah.

1220
00:53:04,214 --> 00:53:06,011
Okay. Here we go.

1221
00:53:06,216 --> 00:53:07,808
Yeah.

1222
00:53:08,051 --> 00:53:09,143
Okay, there you go.

1223
00:53:09,352 --> 00:53:11,377
I can't sit on that.

1224
00:53:11,588 --> 00:53:12,850
I'll give you 10 bucks.

1225
00:53:13,056 --> 00:53:15,081
Daddy always sings to me.

1226
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:17,886
Hmm.

1227
00:53:18,395 --> 00:53:22,354
<i>Come out, come out, Mr. Doodie...</i>

1228
00:53:22,566 --> 00:53:26,263
<i>and swim in the swimming pool</i>

1229
00:53:26,469 --> 00:53:30,405
<i>I know it's dark where you're hiding...</i>

1230
00:53:30,607 --> 00:53:34,543
<i>but out here it's really cool</i>

1231
00:53:37,614 --> 00:53:41,448
<i>Come on, come on, Mr. Doodie...</i>

1232
00:53:41,651 --> 00:53:45,178
<i>'cause we've got something to do</i>

1233
00:53:46,089 --> 00:53:49,217
<i>And if you hurry...</i>

1234
00:53:49,426 --> 00:53:53,556
<i>you'll meet Carl the kangaroo</i>

1235
00:53:55,332 --> 00:53:56,458
Yes!

1236
00:53:57,334 --> 00:53:59,894
Hey, buddy, can you keep singing?

1237
00:54:01,605 --> 00:54:04,165
<i>Come out, come out, Mr....</i>

1238
00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:07,210
Come on.

1239
00:54:07,410 --> 00:54:09,776
He's still out there! We're okay! We're okay!

1240
00:54:09,980 --> 00:54:11,504
Nothing's the matter.

1241
00:54:13,717 --> 00:54:14,775
- Thank you very much.

1242
00:54:14,884 --> 00:54:16,613
This way. Come on, honey.

1243
00:54:20,557 --> 00:54:21,956
Oh, we made it.

1244
00:54:23,526 --> 00:54:26,962
Big crowd. Must be helmet night.

1245
00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:31,597
It wasn't that funny.

1246
00:54:55,191 --> 00:54:56,920
Carl and I want to leave.

1247
00:54:57,127 --> 00:54:58,287
Don't leave your seat.

1248
00:54:58,495 --> 00:54:59,792
You said "don't."

1249
00:54:59,996 --> 00:55:01,896
Consider the consequences, mister.

1250
00:55:02,098 --> 00:55:03,065
Shh!

1251
00:55:03,166 --> 00:55:04,827
It's not me, it's him.

1252
00:55:05,201 --> 00:55:07,431
I'm sorry. Kids.

1253
00:55:09,472 --> 00:55:11,440
Barker? Barker?

1254
00:55:14,277 --> 00:55:16,302
Hey, come back here!

1255
00:55:17,314 --> 00:55:19,305
Don't go "no". Yes! Get.

1256
00:55:25,789 --> 00:55:27,188
Ow!

1257
00:55:29,626 --> 00:55:31,753
Who brings a child to Tchaikovsky?

1258
00:55:31,961 --> 00:55:34,122
- Me. Voodoo-man. Ha!

1259
00:55:34,664 --> 00:55:36,723
Carl, come on!

1260
00:55:38,468 --> 00:55:40,299
- Gr-Grandma?
- Yes, dear?

1261
00:55:40,503 --> 00:55:42,528
Artie's ch-chasing Barker.

1262
00:55:42,739 --> 00:55:44,570
Oh, that's nice, dear.

1263
00:55:46,142 --> 00:55:47,040
What?

1264
00:55:48,244 --> 00:55:49,734
- Ow!

1265
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,446
Excuse me. Excuse me!

1266
00:55:52,649 --> 00:55:55,083
Excuse me. Barker! Get back here!

1267
00:55:55,285 --> 00:55:56,912
- Stop it!
- Barker!

1268
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:58,246
Oh, my...!

1269
00:55:58,455 --> 00:55:59,888
Where is he?

1270
00:56:00,090 --> 00:56:01,751
- Over there!
- Barker!

1271
00:56:01,958 --> 00:56:03,050
Barker!

1272
00:56:03,259 --> 00:56:04,226
Carl!

1273
00:56:05,462 --> 00:56:06,622
Get over here!

1274
00:56:08,565 --> 00:56:09,361
Let's see.

1275
00:56:11,568 --> 00:56:12,899
- Artie?
- I'm sorry!

1276
00:56:13,103 --> 00:56:14,468
I can't take this anymore!

1277
00:56:14,671 --> 00:56:17,765
This whole "teachable moments"
and protecting their self-esteem...

1278
00:56:17,974 --> 00:56:19,271
and nobody gets punished!

1279
00:56:19,476 --> 00:56:21,569
And every game ends in a tie!

1280
00:56:22,112 --> 00:56:24,307
All I hear is
"Use your words. Use your words".

1281
00:56:24,514 --> 00:56:27,608
But the word
they never use with these kids is "no"!

1282
00:56:36,659 --> 00:56:38,286
Come on, Mr. Decker.

1283
00:56:38,495 --> 00:56:40,776
The other patients
are waiting for you in Arts and Crafts.

1284
00:56:40,964 --> 00:56:42,431
One second.

1285
00:56:42,632 --> 00:56:44,395
I am very sorry for what happened here.

1286
00:56:44,601 --> 00:56:47,399
Just split it with her.

1287
00:56:47,937 --> 00:56:48,767
Thank you.

1288
00:56:48,972 --> 00:56:50,735
Savages.

1289
00:57:10,460 --> 00:57:11,552
Well, he'll be there.

1290
00:57:11,761 --> 00:57:13,922
Yeah, Artie Decker.
You're going to love him. He's a pro's pro.

1291
00:57:14,130 --> 00:57:16,394
Tomorrow, 11 AM, Piedmont Park.

1292
00:57:16,599 --> 00:57:17,930
I'll see... He'll see you then.

1293
00:57:18,134 --> 00:57:20,261
All right, bye now.

1294
00:57:20,470 --> 00:57:22,335
Piedmont Park, map.

1295
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:24,429
Dinner!

1296
00:57:25,008 --> 00:57:26,100
Who was that?

1297
00:57:26,309 --> 00:57:28,573
Market research.
Always at dinner time. How do they know?

1298
00:57:29,779 --> 00:57:32,441
Hey, kids, would you sit down?

1299
00:57:33,616 --> 00:57:35,607
I have something I want to clear up.
Something's bothering me.

1300
00:57:35,819 --> 00:57:36,911
I just want to say...

1301
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,419
I was never, ever
going to actually spank Barker.

1302
00:57:41,124 --> 00:57:42,404
But you threatened to spank him.

1303
00:57:42,559 --> 00:57:43,491
But I never was going to do it.

1304
00:57:43,693 --> 00:57:45,684
- But he didn't know that.
- That's why it worked.

1305
00:57:45,895 --> 00:57:46,919
Oh.

1306
00:57:47,063 --> 00:57:48,997
- There we go!
- It looks great!

1307
00:57:49,199 --> 00:57:50,166
Thank you, honey.

1308
00:57:50,366 --> 00:57:52,425
Th-This isn't what-what we asked for.

1309
00:57:52,635 --> 00:57:55,160
Yes, I know. I got your e-mails. But...

1310
00:57:55,371 --> 00:57:57,305
This is how a family eats.

1311
00:57:57,507 --> 00:58:00,601
We all sit at one table
and we all eat the same thing.

1312
00:58:00,810 --> 00:58:02,107
It's not how we eat.

1313
00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:03,711
But you know something, Barker...

1314
00:58:03,913 --> 00:58:06,438
Grandma worked very hard
to make your mom's recipe...

1315
00:58:06,649 --> 00:58:08,173
just the way that your mom makes it...

1316
00:58:08,384 --> 00:58:11,182
so I think that we owe her the
courtesy of eating it and enjoying it.

1317
00:58:11,454 --> 00:58:14,014
Oh, honey, thank you. That is so sweet.

1318
00:58:18,261 --> 00:58:19,741
I'm going to order a pizza. Who's in?

1319
00:58:26,836 --> 00:58:30,203
Hey, you've been sitting here for hours.

1320
00:58:30,406 --> 00:58:32,203
Are you playing a game?

1321
00:58:32,408 --> 00:58:34,308
That looks like fun.
Do you just press it here?

1322
00:58:34,511 --> 00:58:35,478
No, no, no!

1323
00:58:35,578 --> 00:58:36,659
Game over.

1324
00:58:36,846 --> 00:58:38,211
- Ah...

1325
00:58:39,182 --> 00:58:40,171
Sorry.

1326
00:58:41,184 --> 00:58:42,913
Turner, let me ask you a question.

1327
00:58:43,620 --> 00:58:45,588
You ever watch the X Games?
Stuff like that?

1328
00:58:45,788 --> 00:58:46,846
S-S-Sometimes.

1329
00:58:47,056 --> 00:58:48,751
Yeah. Do you think you know the lingo?

1330
00:58:48,958 --> 00:58:53,588
You mean like "h-heinous,"
or "gn-gnarled out," or "n-nose bone"?

1331
00:58:53,796 --> 00:58:54,820
Yeah, that kind of stuff.

1332
00:58:55,031 --> 00:58:57,761
Listen, how about later I tuck you
in and we talk more about this?

1333
00:58:57,967 --> 00:59:01,994
S-Sure. Except for the t-tucking in.
I'm eight.

1334
00:59:02,205 --> 00:59:03,172
Okay, I get it.

1335
00:59:03,373 --> 00:59:06,001
And, listen, I'm sorry
if I embarrassed you the other day.

1336
00:59:06,209 --> 00:59:08,040
Wh-Which day was th-that?

1337
00:59:08,778 --> 00:59:10,268
Touché.

1338
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:11,869
One other thing.

1339
00:59:12,081 --> 00:59:15,744
This Ivan kid, he's a punk. Stand up to him.

1340
00:59:16,319 --> 00:59:20,085
Anything he starts,
you can finish. Believe in yourself.

1341
00:59:20,290 --> 00:59:22,884
And once you believe
in yourself, you can do anything.

1342
00:59:23,092 --> 00:59:25,754
You can look trouble right in the eye
and just wink at it.

1343
00:59:25,962 --> 00:59:28,192
And everything will be okay.
It's all attitude.

1344
00:59:28,598 --> 00:59:30,190
Now, how do you turn this on?

1345
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,300
Th-That's just a t-table.

1346
00:59:36,940 --> 00:59:37,540
Okay, let's go.

1347
00:59:37,740 --> 00:59:43,406
<i>Goodbye, Harper,
Turner, Barker, Diane and Farty Decker.</i>

1348
00:59:43,613 --> 00:59:44,602
She did that on purpose.

1349
00:59:44,814 --> 00:59:46,655
Remember, you're taking Barker
for a play date.

1350
00:59:46,749 --> 00:59:47,773
Okay.

1351
00:59:47,884 --> 00:59:49,749
Alice says this is very,
very important.

1352
00:59:49,953 --> 00:59:50,953
They're still new here...

1353
00:59:51,154 --> 00:59:53,395
and Barker hasn't had
a chance to make new friends, okay?

1354
00:59:53,523 --> 00:59:54,490
I got it.

1355
00:59:54,691 --> 00:59:55,885
Bye, Barker.

1356
00:59:56,092 --> 00:59:57,059
Bye.

1357
00:59:57,694 --> 00:59:59,161
Let me ask you something.

1358
00:59:59,629 --> 01:00:01,230
This play date kid, he's imaginary, too?

1359
01:00:01,864 --> 01:00:03,559
- No.
- How will I know how to get there?

1360
01:00:03,766 --> 01:00:06,098
Use the R-life.
Turner already punched in the address.

1361
01:00:06,302 --> 01:00:08,668
Okay. Di, can you pick up
Barker after the play date?

1362
01:00:08,871 --> 01:00:10,805
Pick him up? You're supposed
to stay with him the whole time.

1363
01:00:11,007 --> 01:00:12,927
What? When did his play date
become my play date?

1364
01:00:12,976 --> 01:00:14,568
I can't help you! I got to go, hon.

1365
01:00:14,777 --> 01:00:15,675
No, I...

1366
01:00:16,212 --> 01:00:17,179
Okay.

1367
01:00:17,380 --> 01:00:18,813
- Bye.
- Bye. Have fun!

1368
01:00:19,015 --> 01:00:19,811
Okay.

1369
01:00:20,016 --> 01:00:21,916
All right. Have a good time!

1370
01:00:22,118 --> 01:00:24,848
We're going to
have a great time at the play date!

1371
01:00:25,555 --> 01:00:27,022
How would you like to ditch this play date?

1372
01:00:27,223 --> 01:00:29,418
I hate play dates. No one talks to Carl.

1373
01:00:29,626 --> 01:00:30,906
Well, how rude are those people?

1374
01:00:31,060 --> 01:00:32,857
Would you like to do something fun
with me?

1375
01:00:33,062 --> 01:00:34,654
Great. All right, let's go.

1376
01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:37,262
R-life, find me a mall.

1377
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:43,863
Do you guys want to go
to the skatepark later?

1378
01:00:44,073 --> 01:00:45,631
I-I-Ivan!

1379
01:00:46,376 --> 01:00:48,867
What do you want, T-T-Turner?

1380
01:00:49,078 --> 01:00:50,204
Listen, p-punk!

1381
01:00:50,413 --> 01:00:52,506
Anything that you start...

1382
01:00:52,715 --> 01:00:54,808
I-I can f-finish!

1383
01:00:57,854 --> 01:01:00,152
We were at our locker and he ran up...

1384
01:01:00,356 --> 01:01:02,881
and it was such an awkward silence.
I had no idea what to say.

1385
01:01:03,092 --> 01:01:04,684
So, are you coming to my party?

1386
01:01:04,894 --> 01:01:07,829
Oh, hi. Oh, I don't think that I can.

1387
01:01:08,031 --> 01:01:09,511
I got to go. See you tonight, I hope.

1388
01:01:09,532 --> 01:01:11,557
Oh, please don't go.

1389
01:01:11,768 --> 01:01:13,497
He so likes you.

1390
01:01:26,416 --> 01:01:28,543
So, Tony, are you
going to bust a 900 today, dude?

1391
01:01:28,751 --> 01:01:31,083
Or are you going show us
something that's going to blow our minds.

1392
01:01:31,287 --> 01:01:32,413
Something we've never seen before?

1393
01:01:32,622 --> 01:01:33,748
I don't know. Maybe I'll try a 900...

1394
01:01:33,956 --> 01:01:36,036
and then give you a tattoo
right in the middle of it.

1395
01:01:36,392 --> 01:01:37,552
Come on! We're late!

1396
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:39,091
But I have to go pee-pee!

1397
01:01:39,295 --> 01:01:41,092
I don't have a song for that.

1398
01:01:57,447 --> 01:01:58,436
Sorry.

1399
01:01:58,648 --> 01:02:02,641
Talk a little bit about that
particular night and you hitting the 900.

1400
01:02:02,852 --> 01:02:04,444
It wasn't something I planned to do.

1401
01:02:04,554 --> 01:02:06,112
It was just I had hit my best...

1402
01:02:06,689 --> 01:02:08,281
I got to go pee!

1403
01:02:10,026 --> 01:02:11,823
How does it feel to be back in Atlanta?

1404
01:02:12,028 --> 01:02:14,826
Hey, I'm here.
Sorry I'm late. Motorcycle trouble.

1405
01:02:15,131 --> 01:02:17,964
I'm Artie "Mad Dog" Decker!
What's up, homeslice?

1406
01:02:18,167 --> 01:02:19,134
You're Artie Decker?

1407
01:02:19,335 --> 01:02:20,825
Reporting for duty.

1408
01:02:21,370 --> 01:02:22,337
We up for the same job?

1409
01:02:22,505 --> 01:02:23,472
I hope not.

1410
01:02:23,673 --> 01:02:25,353
Wait a second. You don't know who this is?

1411
01:02:25,541 --> 01:02:26,599
Of course I do.

1412
01:02:27,510 --> 01:02:29,501
Dude, this is Tony Hawk, man!

1413
01:02:29,712 --> 01:02:30,804
Yeah, Tony Hawkman. How you doing?

1414
01:02:31,013 --> 01:02:31,980
All right.

1415
01:02:32,181 --> 01:02:33,648
- Who's the kid?
- This is my agent.

1416
01:02:34,183 --> 01:02:35,150
Too many facelifts.

1417
01:02:35,384 --> 01:02:37,750
If he gets one more, he's going back in time.

1418
01:02:39,455 --> 01:02:41,650
I'm going to go take my runs.

1419
01:02:43,159 --> 01:02:46,128
So, how do we roll?

1420
01:02:46,329 --> 01:02:47,353
How do we roll?

1421
01:02:47,563 --> 01:02:48,621
Well, we roll this way.

1422
01:02:48,831 --> 01:02:50,351
The riders are practicing, so you just

1423
01:02:50,433 --> 01:02:51,900
ad lib like it's the actual event.

1424
01:02:52,101 --> 01:02:53,363
Just call it like I see it?

1425
01:02:53,569 --> 01:02:55,161
- That's it.
- Okay, dope.

1426
01:02:55,371 --> 01:02:57,032
Hey, can't have a kid up here, man.

1427
01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:58,502
No, no, no. Kid's with me. He's fine.

1428
01:02:58,708 --> 01:02:59,538
We're just going to go right over there.

1429
01:02:59,742 --> 01:03:01,710
I promise you,
everything's going to be good.

1430
01:03:04,914 --> 01:03:06,814
You sit right here. Okay?

1431
01:03:07,016 --> 01:03:08,711
Carl and I have to go pee-pee.

1432
01:03:08,918 --> 01:03:09,714
Just give me one minute...

1433
01:03:09,919 --> 01:03:11,819
and I promise
you can do all the peeing that you want.

1434
01:03:12,021 --> 01:03:13,147
- But we really...
- Shh!

1435
01:03:13,356 --> 01:03:14,550
Farty has spoken.

1436
01:03:14,757 --> 01:03:16,657
- Ready?
- Yeah, yeah, coming.

1437
01:03:19,195 --> 01:03:21,186
- Okay.
- Go! Go, go.

1438
01:03:21,397 --> 01:03:22,364
Hello there, everybody!

1439
01:03:22,565 --> 01:03:23,827
It's a beautiful day
and thanks for coming out!

1440
01:03:24,033 --> 01:03:25,154
- Here's one...
- Cut!

1441
01:03:25,301 --> 01:03:27,098
- What?
- He's finished. The run's over.

1442
01:03:27,637 --> 01:03:28,899
Oh. All right. Uh...

1443
01:03:29,572 --> 01:03:31,039
Give me one more chance.
I'm just warming up.

1444
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:32,867
Hey, even Sinatra cleared his throat.

1445
01:03:33,075 --> 01:03:34,269
All right, pops, come on. Try to keep up.

1446
01:03:34,477 --> 01:03:36,104
Ready? Three, two...

1447
01:03:39,448 --> 01:03:41,040
It is on and it is epic.

1448
01:03:41,250 --> 01:03:43,514
We're expecting to see
a front side heel flip 540...

1449
01:03:43,719 --> 01:03:46,882
990 body varial with a Cab 7 Melon Grab.

1450
01:03:47,089 --> 01:03:48,488
Melon Grab, my cousin got arrested

1451
01:03:48,591 --> 01:03:49,912
on the subway for melon-grabbing.

1452
01:03:54,997 --> 01:03:56,555
Tony started when he was very young.

1453
01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:58,190
He actually skated out of his mother.

1454
01:03:58,401 --> 01:03:59,459
Can I ask you something?
I wonder about this.

1455
01:03:59,669 --> 01:04:01,398
- Absolutely.
- How do you practice these tricks...

1456
01:04:01,604 --> 01:04:02,628
before you get really good at them?

1457
01:04:02,839 --> 01:04:06,240
Do you say, "I'm just
going to do this. Somebody get a mop"?

1458
01:04:06,442 --> 01:04:08,273
Wait. Is that a kid on the half-pipe?

1459
01:04:08,578 --> 01:04:09,567
Barker!

1460
01:04:10,780 --> 01:04:11,769
Barker!

1461
01:04:14,617 --> 01:04:15,914
Barker, what are you doing?

1462
01:04:16,452 --> 01:04:17,976
I told you I had to pee.

1463
01:04:18,187 --> 01:04:19,387
Is all that coming out of you?

1464
01:04:19,522 --> 01:04:21,547
- I saved it up.
- When? Since birth?

1465
01:04:42,044 --> 01:04:44,103
What you did back there
was pretty dangerous.

1466
01:04:44,313 --> 01:04:45,109
Do you know that?

1467
01:04:45,314 --> 01:04:46,838
Carl told me to do it.

1468
01:04:48,217 --> 01:04:51,118
I don't think Carl is being
a very good friend to you.

1469
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:53,811
For a kangaroo,
he's something of a thrill-seeker.

1470
01:04:54,023 --> 01:04:57,515
And I think it's time
that you start telling Carl what to do.

1471
01:04:58,027 --> 01:04:59,153
One other thing.

1472
01:04:59,996 --> 01:05:01,486
I was supposed to...

1473
01:05:02,198 --> 01:05:05,634
watch after you today,
and I didn't do a good job.

1474
01:05:06,936 --> 01:05:08,028
I'm sorry.

1475
01:05:08,671 --> 01:05:12,038
So, Farty would appreciate it...

1476
01:05:12,241 --> 01:05:14,072
if when we get home...

1477
01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:17,705
you don't tell
anyone what happened. Okay?

1478
01:05:18,514 --> 01:05:19,981
Twenty bucks.

1479
01:05:21,284 --> 01:05:22,080
Deal.

1480
01:05:22,518 --> 01:05:24,247
Let's go home. Come on.

1481
01:05:29,625 --> 01:05:31,354
Carl, come on.

1482
01:05:34,530 --> 01:05:35,690
- How could you?
- What?

1483
01:05:35,898 --> 01:05:36,865
You think I don't know?

1484
01:05:37,066 --> 01:05:38,260
I want my 20 bucks back.

1485
01:05:38,467 --> 01:05:39,661
He's just a little boy!

1486
01:05:39,869 --> 01:05:40,836
He's fine.

1487
01:05:41,037 --> 01:05:43,005
Fine? Take a look at him.

1488
01:05:43,205 --> 01:05:45,002
Not him. Turner.

1489
01:05:45,207 --> 01:05:46,288
What are you talking about?

1490
01:05:46,375 --> 01:05:50,209
I'm talking about Turner
and that brilliant advice you gave him.

1491
01:05:53,582 --> 01:05:54,640
Hey.

1492
01:05:58,120 --> 01:06:00,588
I have to ask, did you hit him back?

1493
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:02,690
- No.
- Why not?

1494
01:06:02,892 --> 01:06:04,689
B-Because I hit him f-first.

1495
01:06:04,894 --> 01:06:06,156
Oh. Then he...

1496
01:06:06,362 --> 01:06:09,024
He started screaming
and s-someone helped him fight me.

1497
01:06:09,231 --> 01:06:10,911
Two against one? How big was this other...

1498
01:06:11,100 --> 01:06:12,692
It was his little sister.

1499
01:06:12,902 --> 01:06:13,891
She did this.

1500
01:06:14,403 --> 01:06:16,394
Turner, this is all my fault.

1501
01:06:17,073 --> 01:06:19,564
When I said stand
up for yourself, I didn't mean hitting.

1502
01:06:20,309 --> 01:06:21,105
All right, listen.

1503
01:06:21,577 --> 01:06:25,035
Oh, boy. The older I get,
the lower the floor gets.

1504
01:06:26,582 --> 01:06:29,073
Turner, can I share something with you?

1505
01:06:29,285 --> 01:06:31,685
Just between me and you.
No one else knows this.

1506
01:06:31,887 --> 01:06:33,377
This is just two guys talking.

1507
01:06:33,589 --> 01:06:37,184
When I was your age,
I was very shy because I was short.

1508
01:06:37,393 --> 01:06:38,860
I didn't talk to anybody.

1509
01:06:39,061 --> 01:06:40,460
And my self-esteem...

1510
01:06:40,663 --> 01:06:44,929
You know, the way
I feel about myself, was really bad.

1511
01:06:45,134 --> 01:06:46,396
Do you ever feel that way?

1512
01:06:47,470 --> 01:06:49,961
Yeah? Well, you know what? You shouldn't.

1513
01:06:50,172 --> 01:06:51,730
Because you're a great kid.

1514
01:06:52,575 --> 01:06:54,975
All right, I want to play you something.

1515
01:06:55,177 --> 01:06:57,441
Hey, house, I want to play something.

1516
01:06:58,014 --> 01:06:59,311
Okay.

1517
01:07:01,550 --> 01:07:02,710
Oh. Okay.

1518
01:07:03,953 --> 01:07:05,818
Now, the first time I heard this...

1519
01:07:06,022 --> 01:07:09,150
I knew right away that I had found my voice.

1520
01:07:09,358 --> 01:07:12,293
I knew that I had to become
a baseball announcer.

1521
01:07:12,495 --> 01:07:13,416
And once I knew that...

1522
01:07:13,496 --> 01:07:15,856
it didn't matter what anybody
else thought or said about me.

1523
01:07:15,965 --> 01:07:18,160
Sh-sh-shot heard round the w-world?

1524
01:07:18,367 --> 01:07:20,665
Right. The shot heard round the world.

1525
01:07:20,870 --> 01:07:21,870
Let me tell you about it.

1526
01:07:25,107 --> 01:07:27,632
It's 1951. Long time ago.

1527
01:07:27,843 --> 01:07:30,141
Two teams: Brooklyn Dodgers,
New York Giants.

1528
01:07:30,346 --> 01:07:31,813
And they hated each other.

1529
01:07:32,014 --> 01:07:34,312
L-Like Luke S-Skywalker and D-Darth Vader.

1530
01:07:34,517 --> 01:07:35,484
Worse.

1531
01:07:35,684 --> 01:07:38,585
Well, the baseball season ends
and they're tied.

1532
01:07:38,788 --> 01:07:40,346
Now, this one game would decide...

1533
01:07:40,556 --> 01:07:42,046
who would go to the World Series

1534
01:07:42,158 --> 01:07:43,625
against the great New York Yankees.

1535
01:07:43,826 --> 01:07:45,691
Biggest game in the history of New York.

1536
01:07:46,462 --> 01:07:48,089
Bottom of the ninth inning, two outs,

1537
01:07:48,197 --> 01:07:49,789
the Giants are losing 4 to 2...

1538
01:07:49,999 --> 01:07:52,559
and a batter
named Bobby Thomson comes up to bat.

1539
01:07:53,969 --> 01:07:56,403
<i>Bobby Thomson
up there swinging.</i>

1540
01:07:56,605 --> 01:07:57,645
<i>He's had two out of three,</i>

1541
01:07:57,773 --> 01:07:58,967
<i>a single and a double, and Billy Cox is...</i>

1542
01:07:59,175 --> 01:08:01,769
Close your eyes. Close your eyes, come on.

1543
01:08:01,977 --> 01:08:04,775
Close your eyes and you can see it.

1544
01:08:05,314 --> 01:08:06,975
<i>Bobby hitting at .292.</i>

1545
01:08:07,183 --> 01:08:08,943
<i>Lockman without
too big ofa lead at second...</i>

1546
01:08:08,984 --> 01:08:11,145
<i>but he'll be running like the wind
if Thomson hits one.</i>

1547
01:08:11,220 --> 01:08:12,187
<i>Branca throws.</i>

1548
01:08:12,388 --> 01:08:15,016
<i>There's a long drive!
It's gonna be, I believe...</i>

1549
01:08:15,224 --> 01:08:16,816
<i>The Giants win the pennant!</i>

1550
01:08:17,026 --> 01:08:20,359
<i>The Giants win the pennant!
The Giants win the pennant!</i>

1551
01:08:20,629 --> 01:08:22,153
<i>The Giants win the pennant!</i>

1552
01:08:22,364 --> 01:08:25,993
<i>Bobby Thomson hits
into the lower deck of the left field stands!</i>

1553
01:08:26,202 --> 01:08:27,601
<i>The Giants win the pennant...</i>

1554
01:08:27,803 --> 01:08:30,636
<i>and they're going crazy, they're going crazy!</i>

1555
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:32,774
<i>And home!</i>

1556
01:08:33,309 --> 01:08:34,435
<i>I don't believe it!</i>

1557
01:08:34,643 --> 01:08:35,974
<i>I do not believe it!</i>

1558
01:08:36,178 --> 01:08:40,046
<i>The Giants won it by a score of5 to 4...</i>

1559
01:08:40,249 --> 01:08:42,513
<i>and they're picking Bobby Thomson up...</i>

1560
01:08:42,718 --> 01:08:44,310
<i>and carrying him off the field!</i>

1561
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:46,681
That's what gave me my dream.

1562
01:08:46,889 --> 01:08:49,289
Now the big dream,
of course, was to announce for the Giants.

1563
01:08:49,425 --> 01:08:50,392
D-Did you?

1564
01:08:51,260 --> 01:08:53,353
No. But...

1565
01:08:53,562 --> 01:08:54,893
Y-You still might?

1566
01:08:56,765 --> 01:08:58,062
You never know.

1567
01:08:58,701 --> 01:09:00,532
C-C-Can I h-hear it again?

1568
01:09:01,537 --> 01:09:02,663
Sure.

1569
01:09:04,206 --> 01:09:06,538
<i>Bobby Thomson
up there swinging.</i>

1570
01:09:06,742 --> 01:09:07,936
<i>He's had two out of three,</i>

1571
01:09:08,043 --> 01:09:10,003
<i>a single and a double,
and Billy Cox is playing...</i>

1572
01:09:15,551 --> 01:09:18,213
Honey, we're going to play a
game. You want to join us?

1573
01:09:18,454 --> 01:09:20,354
- Grandma, I can't.
- Why?

1574
01:09:20,556 --> 01:09:22,076
Because if I don't do well tomorrow...

1575
01:09:22,224 --> 01:09:23,987
then I won't get into
the Atlanta Youth Symphony...

1576
01:09:24,193 --> 01:09:25,554
which is a feeder for Juilliard...

1577
01:09:25,561 --> 01:09:27,481
which offers a graduate class
with Sarah Chang...

1578
01:09:27,596 --> 01:09:29,655
whose students are virtually guaranteed

1579
01:09:29,765 --> 01:09:30,993
to get into the Berlin Philharmonic...

1580
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,001
which is the orchestra
I most want to play in.

1581
01:09:33,269 --> 01:09:34,236
- Sweetheart.
- Yes.

1582
01:09:34,436 --> 01:09:35,557
Berlin's not going anywhere.

1583
01:09:35,738 --> 01:09:37,899
Well, neither am I if I don't practice.

1584
01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:41,375
Okay, I'll tell the boys. But you're sure now?

1585
01:09:41,577 --> 01:09:42,441
Yes.

1586
01:09:42,645 --> 01:09:44,112
Okay.

1587
01:09:47,516 --> 01:09:49,347
Gentlemen, the game is called Kick the Can.

1588
01:09:49,552 --> 01:09:51,042
Are you going to recycle that?

1589
01:09:51,253 --> 01:09:53,312
I-It's d-dirty out here.

1590
01:09:53,522 --> 01:09:54,648
And windy!

1591
01:09:54,857 --> 01:09:56,882
I know. It's called "outside."

1592
01:09:57,393 --> 01:09:59,020
Is she coming?

1593
01:09:59,562 --> 01:10:00,586
Oh, too bad.

1594
01:10:00,796 --> 01:10:02,923
All right, guys, the object of the game,

1595
01:10:03,032 --> 01:10:05,091
kick the can without getting tagged!

1596
01:10:05,301 --> 01:10:06,734
Okay, here we go!

1597
01:10:06,936 --> 01:10:08,403
Come on!

1598
01:10:08,604 --> 01:10:09,832
Kick... Come on.

1599
01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:11,700
S-Sounds b-boring.

1600
01:10:11,907 --> 01:10:12,999
Boring?

1601
01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:14,437
Oh, yeah?

1602
01:10:14,643 --> 01:10:16,907
Who wants a chance to clobber old Artie?

1603
01:10:17,112 --> 01:10:17,908
Right.

1604
01:10:18,581 --> 01:10:20,412
- And then see him eat dirt!

1605
01:10:20,749 --> 01:10:22,182
And then kick the can so hard...

1606
01:10:22,384 --> 01:10:24,352
it goes in one ear and out the other!

1607
01:10:25,454 --> 01:10:26,944
I do! I do!

1608
01:10:27,156 --> 01:10:28,623
I do!

1609
01:10:28,824 --> 01:10:29,848
- In my ear?

1610
01:10:30,059 --> 01:10:31,356
Out of my way, Farty.

1611
01:10:32,494 --> 01:10:33,324
Over here!

1612
01:10:33,529 --> 01:10:34,496
Good kick!

1613
01:10:34,697 --> 01:10:35,789
Turner, it's mine!

1614
01:10:39,535 --> 01:10:40,695
I got it, I got it!

1615
01:10:40,803 --> 01:10:42,896
Look out for me, I'm Super Artie!

1616
01:10:44,773 --> 01:10:45,740
Watch it, watch it!

1617
01:10:46,709 --> 01:10:47,733
Pass me the can!

1618
01:10:48,077 --> 01:10:49,135
Over here.

1619
01:10:50,179 --> 01:10:51,476
Farty!

1620
01:10:54,283 --> 01:10:55,807
- Well!

1621
01:10:56,018 --> 01:10:57,542
Okay. Let the games begin!

1622
01:11:08,797 --> 01:11:09,889
Come on!

1623
01:11:35,324 --> 01:11:36,348
- Ah!
- Ooh!

1624
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:52,332
Are you okay?

1625
01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:53,465
I'm fine.

1626
01:11:53,676 --> 01:11:55,701
You should see the other guy!

1627
01:11:59,348 --> 01:12:00,975
- I got more ice.
- Oh, thank you, honey.

1628
01:12:01,183 --> 01:12:02,582
It should be stopping soon.

1629
01:12:02,785 --> 01:12:04,082
I should start dinner.

1630
01:12:04,286 --> 01:12:05,344
Grandma?

1631
01:12:05,454 --> 01:12:06,443
Yes, dear?

1632
01:12:07,523 --> 01:12:09,991
I know my
audition is tomorrow, but I practiced all day.

1633
01:12:10,192 --> 01:12:12,033
And you said I should relax
the night before...

1634
01:12:12,127 --> 01:12:13,924
and there's this party tonight.

1635
01:12:14,129 --> 01:12:15,790
It's the first party
I've been invited to since we moved.

1636
01:12:15,998 --> 01:12:17,295
What if I just went for a half an hour...

1637
01:12:17,499 --> 01:12:19,619
came right back home,
got a really good night's sleep?

1638
01:12:19,668 --> 01:12:20,965
What kind of a party?

1639
01:12:21,503 --> 01:12:23,130
Just this party for some boy.

1640
01:12:25,107 --> 01:12:26,074
He kind of likes me.

1641
01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:28,734
I'll do your make-up!

1642
01:12:29,478 --> 01:12:30,604
Oh!

1643
01:12:39,988 --> 01:12:41,114
I wish we could stay.

1644
01:12:41,323 --> 01:12:43,223
Yeah, we should do this, like...

1645
01:12:43,425 --> 01:12:44,255
Yeah, like...

1646
01:12:44,460 --> 01:12:46,223
- Every week?
- Yes.

1647
01:12:46,428 --> 01:12:48,623
<i>The child
that was involved was not injured.</i>

1648
01:12:48,831 --> 01:12:50,264
<i>Take a look and a listen to this.</i>

1649
01:12:50,466 --> 01:12:52,661
<i>It was scary. I was about to nail this 900...</i>

1650
01:12:52,868 --> 01:12:55,598
<i>and there's this kid up there
just whizzing away.</i>

1651
01:12:55,804 --> 01:12:58,466
<i>I hit his stream
and I fishtailed, and now it's on YouTube.</i>

1652
01:12:58,674 --> 01:13:00,938
<i>It's got more hits than Charlie the Unicorn.</i>

1653
01:13:01,143 --> 01:13:03,634
<i>And when I asked what he was
doing, you know what he said?</i>

1654
01:13:03,846 --> 01:13:06,747
<i>"I was chasing Carl, my kangaroo."</i>

1655
01:13:06,949 --> 01:13:08,780
<i>That's one twisted little dude.</i>

1656
01:13:08,984 --> 01:13:13,080
<i>This is from Tony Hawk's practice
run this morning at the X Games.</i>

1657
01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:15,023
<i>And you know, it kind of begs the question...</i>

1658
01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:17,089
<i>what kind of parent would let their child</i>

1659
01:13:17,192 --> 01:13:19,626
<i>wander out onto the half-pipe?</i>

1660
01:13:28,065 --> 01:13:28,929
Hey!

1661
01:13:29,567 --> 01:13:30,795
How is this for bonding?

1662
01:13:31,002 --> 01:13:32,196
I taught them how to shave.

1663
01:13:32,537 --> 01:13:34,767
Yeah. Show her your legs, boys.

1664
01:13:35,540 --> 01:13:37,098
That's great!

1665
01:13:37,308 --> 01:13:41,039
And guess what? I ordered
Chinese... I mean, Pan Asian, for dinner.

1666
01:13:42,580 --> 01:13:43,638
Noodles!

1667
01:13:43,848 --> 01:13:45,209
All right, go upstairs and change.

1668
01:13:45,383 --> 01:13:47,544
When you come down,
we're going to arm-wrestle Grandma.

1669
01:13:49,687 --> 01:13:51,120
How come we just had one?

1670
01:13:51,322 --> 01:13:52,448
- It's not too late.
- Oh!

1671
01:13:52,657 --> 01:13:55,023
It's really late. Come here,
I want to show you something.

1672
01:13:55,226 --> 01:13:57,160
- What?
- Look at this.

1673
01:13:57,361 --> 01:13:59,124
- That's Alice's song.
- Yeah.

1674
01:13:59,330 --> 01:14:01,161
She was, like, three or four years
old, how did she remember?

1675
01:14:01,365 --> 01:14:03,833
I don't know,
but it's at the top of her playlist.

1676
01:14:04,035 --> 01:14:05,229
- Wow.
- Aw!

1677
01:14:06,003 --> 01:14:09,404
We must have sang that song
a thousand times to her in the car!

1678
01:14:09,607 --> 01:14:11,487
- You know you want to.
- I don't want to sing it.

1679
01:14:11,509 --> 01:14:14,637
<i>Oh, I wonder, wonder,
whom-ba-doo-hoo-whom</i>

1680
01:14:15,213 --> 01:14:18,239
<i>Who wrote the book of love?</i>

1681
01:14:18,449 --> 01:14:22,476
<i>Tell me, tell me, tell me
Oh, who wrote the book of love?</i>

1682
01:14:22,687 --> 01:14:26,555
<i>I got to know the answer
was it someone from above?</i>

1683
01:14:26,757 --> 01:14:29,783
<i>Oh, I wonder, wonder,
whom ba-doo-hoo-whom.</i>

1684
01:14:30,428 --> 01:14:31,827
<i>Who wrote the book of love?</i>

1685
01:14:32,029 --> 01:14:33,792
What is that?

1686
01:14:33,998 --> 01:14:36,023
<i>Chapter one says you love her,</i>

1687
01:14:36,133 --> 01:14:38,124
<i>you love her with all your heart</i>

1688
01:14:38,336 --> 01:14:40,201
<i>Chapter two, you tell her...</i>

1689
01:14:40,404 --> 01:14:42,304
<i>you're never
never never never ever gonna part</i>

1690
01:14:42,507 --> 01:14:44,566
<i>And chapter three, remember...</i>

1691
01:14:44,775 --> 01:14:46,572
<i>the meaning of romance</i>

1692
01:14:46,777 --> 01:14:48,574
<i>And chapter four, you break up</i>

1693
01:14:48,779 --> 01:14:50,542
<i>But you give her just one more chance</i>

1694
01:14:50,748 --> 01:14:54,377
<i>Oh, I wonder, wonder,
whom-ba-doo-hoo-whom</i>

1695
01:14:54,585 --> 01:14:57,486
<i>Who wrote the book of love?</i>

1696
01:14:57,755 --> 01:15:01,054
<i>I wonder who</i>

1697
01:15:01,259 --> 01:15:02,157
- Yeah.

1698
01:15:02,260 --> 01:15:07,323
<i>Who wrote the book of love?</i>

1699
01:15:09,433 --> 01:15:11,367
Thank you.

1700
01:15:12,803 --> 01:15:13,443
Grandma?

1701
01:15:13,538 --> 01:15:15,403
We're down here.

1702
01:15:17,508 --> 01:15:18,873
- Oh!
- Oh, boy.

1703
01:15:19,076 --> 01:15:21,374
Oh, Harper. Oh, this is great.

1704
01:15:22,046 --> 01:15:23,013
Wait, my camera.

1705
01:15:23,214 --> 01:15:24,442
Okay.

1706
01:15:26,284 --> 01:15:27,342
Oh.

1707
01:15:27,985 --> 01:15:30,180
Oh, honey, you look so great!

1708
01:15:31,722 --> 01:15:32,518
Thank you.

1709
01:15:32,723 --> 01:15:33,690
You look so beautiful.

1710
01:15:33,891 --> 01:15:35,891
Artie, what do you think
of your granddaughter now?

1711
01:15:35,893 --> 01:15:37,622
- Wow. Ooh.
- Oh!

1712
01:15:38,296 --> 01:15:39,593
- Whoa!

1713
01:15:40,331 --> 01:15:41,798
Doesn't she look like her mom, huh?

1714
01:15:41,999 --> 01:15:43,432
Just like her mom.

1715
01:15:44,635 --> 01:15:46,102
Hey, it stopped raining.

1716
01:15:46,304 --> 01:15:49,137
Carl says we should go outside
and play again!

1717
01:15:49,340 --> 01:15:51,069
Oh, no, Barker, it's too muddy.

1718
01:15:51,275 --> 01:15:52,867
But he wants to.

1719
01:15:53,077 --> 01:15:55,409
Barker, remember what we talked about?

1720
01:15:55,780 --> 01:15:58,977
You're the boss of Carl.
You tell him what to do.

1721
01:16:02,019 --> 01:16:03,543
We can't go out now, Carl.

1722
01:16:05,122 --> 01:16:06,714
Carl, no!

1723
01:16:07,058 --> 01:16:08,616
- Stop!
- What's wrong?

1724
01:16:08,826 --> 01:16:11,954
He ran away.
He said he's never coming back.

1725
01:16:12,163 --> 01:16:14,097
Oh, he'll come back.
He has to pick up his mail.

1726
01:16:14,298 --> 01:16:15,424
Yeah, mail.

1727
01:16:15,533 --> 01:16:16,727
Makes sense.

1728
01:16:18,669 --> 01:16:20,102
- Barker!
- Carl!

1729
01:16:20,204 --> 01:16:21,136
- Artie, get him.

1730
01:16:21,238 --> 01:16:23,103
<i>Barker has left without adult supervision.</i>

1731
01:16:23,307 --> 01:16:25,400
Carl, don't go!

1732
01:16:26,410 --> 01:16:27,377
Barker!

1733
01:16:27,478 --> 01:16:28,467
<i>Goodbye, Artie Decker.</i>

1734
01:16:28,579 --> 01:16:29,739
Barker!

1735
01:16:37,989 --> 01:16:39,786
How many heart attacks can you give me?

1736
01:16:40,157 --> 01:16:41,124
Oh, no, no, no!

1737
01:16:41,325 --> 01:16:42,725
- Barker, are you okay?
- He's fine.

1738
01:16:44,095 --> 01:16:45,153
What, are you hurt?

1739
01:16:45,363 --> 01:16:47,092
Look, can't you see?

1740
01:16:47,365 --> 01:16:50,425
He's dead, the car killed him! Carl is dead!

1741
01:16:50,635 --> 01:16:53,126
What? No! I killed Carl?

1742
01:16:53,504 --> 01:16:55,335
Oh, honey, he's fine. He's just dazed.

1743
01:16:55,539 --> 01:16:57,219
Yeah, yeah. Carl, you're okay, aren't you?

1744
01:16:57,274 --> 01:16:58,914
Yeah, I'm all right, mate. I'm all right!

1745
01:16:59,043 --> 01:17:00,840
- That wasn't Carl, that was you!
- Shut up!

1746
01:17:01,045 --> 01:17:02,512
No, he's not all right!

1747
01:17:02,947 --> 01:17:05,438
He's dead! He's mushed all over the road.

1748
01:17:05,650 --> 01:17:08,175
His head is here and his body's over there!

1749
01:17:08,386 --> 01:17:12,186
It's your fault! You made me get
into a fight with him!

1750
01:17:12,390 --> 01:17:14,381
We are so past weird.

1751
01:17:15,559 --> 01:17:16,992
I love Carl!

1752
01:17:17,194 --> 01:17:19,321
I even pack extra fortune cookies for him!

1753
01:17:19,530 --> 01:17:21,589
Excuse me, what's Chinese for mental case?

1754
01:17:22,900 --> 01:17:24,026
Hello?

1755
01:17:30,741 --> 01:17:32,902
We were cruising
and heard the alarm. Is everyone okay?

1756
01:17:32,910 --> 01:17:33,638
Yes.

1757
01:17:33,844 --> 01:17:36,540
No, he's dead! The car killed him!

1758
01:17:36,747 --> 01:17:38,612
He came out of nowhere!

1759
01:17:38,816 --> 01:17:40,477
Officer, you're wasting your time.

1760
01:17:40,685 --> 01:17:42,246
What happened? Why are the police here?

1761
01:17:42,386 --> 01:17:43,683
Why is the alarm on?

1762
01:17:43,888 --> 01:17:45,116
- Oh, hi!
- Mommy!

1763
01:17:45,322 --> 01:17:46,762
- Was there a break-in?
- It's nothing.

1764
01:17:46,791 --> 01:17:49,817
It's absolutely nothing.
What are you doing home?

1765
01:17:50,027 --> 01:17:51,153
I killed Carl!

1766
01:17:51,362 --> 01:17:53,125
- What?
- You killed Carl? How?

1767
01:17:53,330 --> 01:17:55,491
Who is Carl? Is he a family member?

1768
01:17:55,700 --> 01:17:56,530
- Yes!
- No!

1769
01:17:56,734 --> 01:17:58,361
He's a kangaroo!

1770
01:17:58,569 --> 01:17:59,467
He's a what?

1771
01:17:59,670 --> 01:18:00,796
Turner, your eye!

1772
01:18:01,005 --> 01:18:02,165
How did that happen?

1773
01:18:02,840 --> 01:18:03,807
Artie did it?

1774
01:18:04,041 --> 01:18:07,533
Oh, no, no, no. Ivan's sister did it. I did that.

1775
01:18:07,745 --> 01:18:08,712
You hit Mom?

1776
01:18:08,813 --> 01:18:09,837
It was an accident!

1777
01:18:10,047 --> 01:18:11,275
Ma'am, would you like to file a complaint?

1778
01:18:11,482 --> 01:18:12,471
No!

1779
01:18:12,583 --> 01:18:13,641
We were playing a game.

1780
01:18:13,751 --> 01:18:15,218
That's the dress.

1781
01:18:15,419 --> 01:18:16,647
Does she have make-up on?

1782
01:18:17,922 --> 01:18:19,150
Don't growl at us.

1783
01:18:19,356 --> 01:18:20,196
This is unbelievable.

1784
01:18:20,357 --> 01:18:22,518
We leave and she's 12,
we come home and she's 16.

1785
01:18:22,893 --> 01:18:23,860
Boys, go in the house.

1786
01:18:24,061 --> 01:18:25,619
Turner, turn off the alarm, please.

1787
01:18:25,830 --> 01:18:27,525
You know, you're not supposed
to be back until tomorrow.

1788
01:18:27,732 --> 01:18:29,461
Well, we were just so curious...

1789
01:18:29,667 --> 01:18:32,659
as to why Barker was nearly
killed this morning at the X Games!

1790
01:18:32,870 --> 01:18:34,462
Uh-oh! Get your taser ready.

1791
01:18:35,372 --> 01:18:36,339
That's not right.

1792
01:18:36,540 --> 01:18:38,633
Barker was at a play date
this morning with Artie.

1793
01:18:38,843 --> 01:18:39,741
Oh, yeah?

1794
01:18:43,447 --> 01:18:45,472
I was in a little bind...

1795
01:18:45,683 --> 01:18:47,981
and I had to take him
with me on some business.

1796
01:18:48,185 --> 01:18:49,914
What business did you have
at the X Games?

1797
01:18:50,121 --> 01:18:52,089
Yeah, Artie, what business?

1798
01:18:57,228 --> 01:18:58,354
Um...

1799
01:18:59,563 --> 01:19:01,588
Aren't we forgetting
the most serious issue here?

1800
01:19:01,799 --> 01:19:02,823
What issue?

1801
01:19:02,933 --> 01:19:05,197
The death of an imaginary kangaroo.

1802
01:19:05,402 --> 01:19:06,391
He's imaginary?

1803
01:19:06,604 --> 01:19:07,571
Yes!

1804
01:19:09,774 --> 01:19:10,741
You can go.

1805
01:19:15,713 --> 01:19:18,204
Would someone please explain
what happened to Carl?

1806
01:19:18,415 --> 01:19:19,655
We were playing Kick the Can...

1807
01:19:19,817 --> 01:19:22,081
and it started to rain,
so we all came indoors...

1808
01:19:22,286 --> 01:19:24,777
and I was helping
Harper get dressed for her party.

1809
01:19:24,989 --> 01:19:26,923
A party? You're throwing a party?

1810
01:19:27,124 --> 01:19:27,923
No, Dad, I'm going to a party.

1811
01:19:27,925 --> 01:19:28,516
No, Dad, I'm going to a party.

1812
01:19:28,726 --> 01:19:29,693
For a boy who likes her.

1813
01:19:29,894 --> 01:19:31,521
A boy? What boy?

1814
01:19:31,729 --> 01:19:34,129
The night before your audition?
Are you kidding?

1815
01:19:34,331 --> 01:19:35,457
I told her she could go.

1816
01:19:35,666 --> 01:19:38,635
It's ridiculous. It is out of the question.

1817
01:19:38,836 --> 01:19:40,701
Maybe it's ridiculous for me to spend

1818
01:19:40,805 --> 01:19:42,636
all my time practicing the violin...

1819
01:19:42,840 --> 01:19:46,298
never doing anything else
and auditioning for a school tomorrow...

1820
01:19:46,510 --> 01:19:48,478
where I'm never going to do anything else

1821
01:19:48,579 --> 01:19:50,479
the whole rest of my life.

1822
01:19:52,750 --> 01:19:53,774
Huh?

1823
01:19:55,152 --> 01:19:56,915
Well, she's using her words.

1824
01:19:57,121 --> 01:20:00,318
Harper. Harper!
I cannot allow you to take a talent...

1825
01:20:00,524 --> 01:20:03,721
a gift to which you have
dedicated so much time and effort...

1826
01:20:03,928 --> 01:20:06,226
and throw it away on a whim.

1827
01:20:06,430 --> 01:20:09,422
I hate you and I wish
anyone else was my mother!

1828
01:20:11,001 --> 01:20:12,935
Maybe not those words.

1829
01:20:13,337 --> 01:20:14,497
Thanks, Mom and Dad.

1830
01:20:14,705 --> 01:20:16,745
I couldn't have
gotten through the week without you.

1831
01:20:23,113 --> 01:20:24,714
I say we head for the airport right now.

1832
01:20:24,882 --> 01:20:27,476
Don't even take our clothes,
we just skedaddle.

1833
01:20:31,355 --> 01:20:34,347
I followed you for 35 years, Artie.

1834
01:20:37,328 --> 01:20:41,697
Wherever you needed to be,
that's where I was.

1835
01:20:42,566 --> 01:20:44,591
No complaints.

1836
01:20:46,370 --> 01:20:48,634
Well, some.

1837
01:20:51,008 --> 01:20:52,839
But this week...

1838
01:20:53,978 --> 01:20:57,141
This week was supposed to be about
us and our grandchildren.

1839
01:20:58,182 --> 01:21:00,116
Not you.

1840
01:21:01,819 --> 01:21:03,343
Not you.

1841
01:21:06,957 --> 01:21:10,154
Did you have to go to that audition?

1842
01:21:11,929 --> 01:21:14,659
It's not one of my better moments.

1843
01:21:18,102 --> 01:21:20,593
For one wonderful hour...

1844
01:21:22,039 --> 01:21:26,840
we weren't the "other" grandparents.

1845
01:21:29,780 --> 01:21:30,838
Oh.

1846
01:21:30,948 --> 01:21:32,415
There you are.

1847
01:21:33,584 --> 01:21:35,211
You okay?

1848
01:21:36,820 --> 01:21:39,414
I've had better Mommy days.

1849
01:21:40,257 --> 01:21:44,091
You know, it may not have been
horrible to let her go to that party.

1850
01:21:44,295 --> 01:21:45,694
I know.

1851
01:21:45,896 --> 01:21:48,922
I just walked into that scene and I freaked.

1852
01:21:51,335 --> 01:21:53,132
I can't believe my parents killed Carl.

1853
01:21:53,671 --> 01:21:56,105
Well, I was thinking about that.

1854
01:21:56,307 --> 01:22:00,539
You know, they didn't kill
Carl, only Barker could do that.

1855
01:22:02,012 --> 01:22:06,745
And it somehow took us
not being here for him to do it.

1856
01:22:08,352 --> 01:22:10,582
So, what's your point?

1857
01:22:11,822 --> 01:22:14,120
Maybe we coddle him too much.

1858
01:22:15,092 --> 01:22:17,788
Maybe he needed a little tough love...

1859
01:22:17,995 --> 01:22:20,054
to let go of his imaginary friend.

1860
01:22:20,264 --> 01:22:24,894
But, Phil, that would make my father right.

1861
01:22:25,369 --> 01:22:27,929
Yeah. We can't have any of that.

1862
01:22:30,941 --> 01:22:31,771
Harper?

1863
01:22:35,546 --> 01:22:36,740
I could come back.

1864
01:22:36,947 --> 01:22:39,074
No, no, no, it's okay.

1865
01:22:39,283 --> 01:22:41,251
I'm going to check on Barker.

1866
01:22:43,787 --> 01:22:45,448
Thanks, Phil.

1867
01:22:53,630 --> 01:22:54,597
I'm sorry.

1868
01:22:58,202 --> 01:22:59,328
For what?

1869
01:22:59,536 --> 01:23:01,094
Narrow it down for me, Dad.

1870
01:23:01,305 --> 01:23:02,670
For this week.

1871
01:23:04,308 --> 01:23:06,208
For almost getting Barker hurt today.

1872
01:23:06,310 --> 01:23:08,141
I just feel terrible about that.

1873
01:23:10,214 --> 01:23:12,011
What were you even doing there?

1874
01:23:18,022 --> 01:23:20,718
I was on an audition.

1875
01:23:21,592 --> 01:23:23,583
Because the Grizzlies fired me.

1876
01:23:24,795 --> 01:23:26,319
What?

1877
01:23:27,798 --> 01:23:28,992
Why didn't you tell us?

1878
01:23:29,199 --> 01:23:30,325
Because it's humiliating.

1879
01:23:30,534 --> 01:23:32,024
Why would they do that?

1880
01:23:32,236 --> 01:23:34,067
You're so good at that job.

1881
01:23:34,938 --> 01:23:35,905
Maybe not good enough.

1882
01:23:38,475 --> 01:23:39,840
Alice...

1883
01:23:40,811 --> 01:23:41,971
your mom was really hoping...

1884
01:23:41,979 --> 01:23:45,380
that this trip would help bring
her closer to her grandchildren.

1885
01:23:46,216 --> 01:23:47,911
And she and Harper have developed

1886
01:23:48,018 --> 01:23:51,010
a relationship that's kind of great...

1887
01:23:51,288 --> 01:23:55,247
and I don't want
to see that end just because I screwed up.

1888
01:24:00,297 --> 01:24:01,821
- What about you?
- Hmm?

1889
01:24:02,266 --> 01:24:04,564
Don't you want a relationship
with your grandchildren?

1890
01:24:04,768 --> 01:24:06,463
Of course I do.

1891
01:24:06,670 --> 01:24:08,069
I mean...

1892
01:24:08,272 --> 01:24:12,140
like an hour
before you came home, it was really good.

1893
01:24:13,110 --> 01:24:15,203
It's just that sometimes...

1894
01:24:17,181 --> 01:24:18,876
I don't feel...

1895
01:24:19,283 --> 01:24:20,443
What?

1896
01:24:20,818 --> 01:24:24,481
...welcome, here.

1897
01:24:30,194 --> 01:24:32,287
What happened to us, Dad?

1898
01:24:36,100 --> 01:24:38,625
How old were you when Harper was born?

1899
01:24:38,869 --> 01:24:40,131
- Twenty-six.
- Mmm-hmm.

1900
01:24:40,337 --> 01:24:41,658
Did you know what you were doing?

1901
01:24:41,972 --> 01:24:42,961
No.

1902
01:24:43,941 --> 01:24:46,842
I was 23 when you came along.

1903
01:24:47,044 --> 01:24:50,673
And I was terrified, because you didn't
come with any instructions.

1904
01:24:50,881 --> 01:24:52,678
And I thought I was doing okay.

1905
01:24:52,883 --> 01:24:57,183
Because unlike my father,
I wasn't constantly telling you...

1906
01:24:57,387 --> 01:25:00,356
what an annoying little waste
of time you were...

1907
01:25:00,557 --> 01:25:02,616
and believe me, I'm cleaning that up.

1908
01:25:02,826 --> 01:25:05,624
And I thought that we were
actually having fun.

1909
01:25:05,829 --> 01:25:09,287
Me and the weather girl...

1910
01:25:09,500 --> 01:25:13,095
and the cutest little girl you ever saw,
traveling around the country.

1911
01:25:13,303 --> 01:25:16,170
But then years go by,
and your daughter goes off to college...

1912
01:25:16,373 --> 01:25:20,002
and she doesn't come home
for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

1913
01:25:21,078 --> 01:25:22,602
Or summers.

1914
01:25:22,813 --> 01:25:24,144
Or ever.

1915
01:25:24,848 --> 01:25:28,113
And you get these clues, this inkling...

1916
01:25:28,318 --> 01:25:31,412
that perhaps all those years
she wasn't having such a good time...

1917
01:25:31,622 --> 01:25:36,650
and that maybe she thought
you didn't do such a good job.

1918
01:25:36,860 --> 01:25:39,727
And that really hurts. Doesn't it?

1919
01:25:42,399 --> 01:25:44,060
Yes.

1920
01:25:44,434 --> 01:25:47,892
So, little girl,
I have to give you three put-ups.

1921
01:25:49,273 --> 01:25:50,240
- No, Dad.
- Please.

1922
01:25:50,440 --> 01:25:51,338
It's okay.

1923
01:25:51,542 --> 01:25:55,000
Harper, Turner, Barker.

1924
01:25:55,212 --> 01:25:57,680
They're great kids
and you're a really good mother.

1925
01:25:58,615 --> 01:25:59,604
Yeah.

1926
01:25:59,816 --> 01:26:02,546
I'm basking in the glow
of my children's affection.

1927
01:26:02,753 --> 01:26:04,846
Harper? She didn't mean anything.

1928
01:26:05,055 --> 01:26:06,352
I mean, she's 12.

1929
01:26:06,557 --> 01:26:08,548
Get ready, it's going to get a lot worse.

1930
01:26:09,793 --> 01:26:13,593
Only, don't let her turn her back on you.

1931
01:26:13,797 --> 01:26:15,731
Because that will break your heart.

1932
01:26:18,769 --> 01:26:19,929
Harper?

1933
01:26:21,772 --> 01:26:22,739
No. Um...

1934
01:26:23,774 --> 01:26:28,040
Barker has a special request
for tomorrow, before the audition.

1935
01:26:28,645 --> 01:26:30,704
And it involves all of us.

1936
01:26:47,231 --> 01:26:50,928
Carl, your two favorite things were milk
and tofu dogs.

1937
01:26:51,134 --> 01:26:53,602
Now, you can have both forever.

1938
01:27:11,154 --> 01:27:13,714
Grandma, thanks for decorating the box.

1939
01:27:13,991 --> 01:27:16,983
Oh, honey, it was my pleasure.

1940
01:27:20,030 --> 01:27:21,827
Um, Carl...

1941
01:27:22,032 --> 01:27:24,500
Can Artie say something nice for Carl?

1942
01:27:24,701 --> 01:27:25,861
Me?

1943
01:27:35,512 --> 01:27:36,479
How do you...

1944
01:27:38,015 --> 01:27:41,075
I'm sorry, Carl.

1945
01:27:41,285 --> 01:27:43,879
He died so young.

1946
01:27:44,621 --> 01:27:45,747
Mmm.

1947
01:27:45,956 --> 01:27:49,221
How do you say goodbye
to somebody you could never say hello to?

1948
01:27:49,426 --> 01:27:50,654
It's hard.

1949
01:27:51,962 --> 01:27:53,554
I didn't get to see Carl very often,

1950
01:27:53,664 --> 01:27:55,222
but then again, nobody else did.

1951
01:27:56,900 --> 01:27:59,368
Except for Barker...

1952
01:27:59,569 --> 01:28:02,333
which is what made him so special.

1953
01:28:03,307 --> 01:28:07,607
Carl wasn't just Barker's friend,
he was a part of him.

1954
01:28:07,811 --> 01:28:11,042
And that made him a part of all of us.

1955
01:28:13,550 --> 01:28:16,849
Carl, you will forever be in our hearts.

1956
01:28:17,554 --> 01:28:19,249
Keep on hopping, buddy.

1957
01:28:47,784 --> 01:28:48,580
Okay.

1958
01:28:48,785 --> 01:28:51,083
Alice, you take Harper backstage.
We'll grab some seats.

1959
01:28:51,288 --> 01:28:52,255
Barker, Turner, you're with us.

1960
01:28:52,489 --> 01:28:53,689
- Good luck.
- Knock them dead.

1961
01:28:53,824 --> 01:28:54,791
Thanks.

1962
01:28:54,991 --> 01:28:56,288
Break a leg.

1963
01:28:56,493 --> 01:28:57,892
Bye, Dad.

1964
01:29:20,283 --> 01:29:22,376
Don't applaud. That's that woman!

1965
01:29:23,153 --> 01:29:24,415
<i>Good evening.</i>

1966
01:29:24,654 --> 01:29:28,750
<i>Welcome family, friends
and distinguished judges...</i>

1967
01:29:28,959 --> 01:29:31,553
<i>to the Atlanta Performing Arts Center.</i>

1968
01:29:31,762 --> 01:29:34,060
<i>I am Doctor Schveer.</i>

1969
01:29:37,134 --> 01:29:40,968
<i>We have 14 amazingly talented musicians...</i>

1970
01:29:41,171 --> 01:29:45,631
<i>all vying for one position
at this prestigious conservatory.</i>

1971
01:29:45,842 --> 01:29:48,470
<i>So, without further ado I give you</i>

1972
01:29:48,578 --> 01:29:51,172
<i>Chet Halloran on the saxophone.</i>

1973
01:29:51,381 --> 01:29:53,747
Yeah! Go Chet!

1974
01:30:22,145 --> 01:30:24,705
Hang on a second, honey.

1975
01:30:29,186 --> 01:30:32,121
You know,
when you were just five years old...

1976
01:30:32,322 --> 01:30:34,882
we took you to that
little music school for the first time.

1977
01:30:35,091 --> 01:30:38,857
And all the other kids
they were just banging on things.

1978
01:30:39,930 --> 01:30:42,524
One kid tried to play another kid.

1979
01:30:43,533 --> 01:30:47,333
But from that very first day, you played.

1980
01:30:47,704 --> 01:30:49,228
And not just played...

1981
01:30:49,439 --> 01:30:52,670
you had this look
of such fulfillment on your face.

1982
01:30:52,943 --> 01:30:55,070
And I said to your dad, "Whatever it takes...

1983
01:30:55,278 --> 01:30:57,109
whatever we have to do, I always

1984
01:30:57,214 --> 01:30:59,682
want to see that look on her face."

1985
01:31:01,184 --> 01:31:03,675
Lately, I'm not seeing it.

1986
01:31:04,588 --> 01:31:08,388
So, honey, do you
really not want to switch schools again?

1987
01:31:11,728 --> 01:31:12,854
Okay.

1988
01:31:13,630 --> 01:31:15,757
What do you say we ditch this audition?

1989
01:31:17,400 --> 01:31:18,458
Really?

1990
01:31:18,668 --> 01:31:21,432
Yeah. It's okay.

1991
01:31:24,007 --> 01:31:26,100
Mommy, I didn't mean what I said.

1992
01:31:26,977 --> 01:31:28,467
Oh, baby.

1993
01:31:29,145 --> 01:31:32,603
I wouldn't want anyone else to be my mom.

1994
01:31:32,816 --> 01:31:34,613
And I love you.

1995
01:31:34,818 --> 01:31:38,219
That's good
because you're my only daughter.

1996
01:31:38,588 --> 01:31:42,615
And you know,
I don't really understand the boys.

1997
01:31:42,826 --> 01:31:45,920
I know. How weird are they?

1998
01:31:48,865 --> 01:31:49,957
Yeah, yeah!

1999
01:31:50,166 --> 01:31:51,155
Hi, baby.

2000
01:31:52,936 --> 01:31:57,999
We regret to inform you
of a slight change in our program.

2001
01:31:58,208 --> 01:32:00,176
Harper Simmons has forfeited her slot...

2002
01:32:02,512 --> 01:32:03,979
and her future.

2003
01:32:04,180 --> 01:32:06,444
Since the next performer is warming up...

2004
01:32:06,650 --> 01:32:08,618
we're going to have to take
a 10 minute break.

2005
01:32:12,022 --> 01:32:13,455
Hey, what's going on?

2006
01:32:13,557 --> 01:32:15,218
She's not going to audition.

2007
01:32:15,425 --> 01:32:16,986
You're not disappointed in me, are you?

2008
01:32:17,160 --> 01:32:19,628
Oh, no, no, no. That's not even a possibility.

2009
01:32:19,829 --> 01:32:21,729
Is this is all my fault? It is, isn't it?

2010
01:32:21,932 --> 01:32:23,957
I came 3,000 miles
to ruin my granddaughter's life.

2011
01:32:24,167 --> 01:32:24,997
It's not your fault.

2012
01:32:25,201 --> 01:32:27,002
- Really?
- It was our choice.

2013
01:32:27,103 --> 01:32:27,967
I love you.

2014
01:32:28,171 --> 01:32:29,934
Here, take my picture, Phil.

2015
01:32:30,874 --> 01:32:32,235
- Get in there.

2016
01:32:39,115 --> 01:32:39,979
Uh, where's Turner?

2017
01:32:40,183 --> 01:32:41,411
You! Kid!

2018
01:32:44,154 --> 01:32:45,348
Turner!

2019
01:32:53,063 --> 01:32:55,088
<i>Bobby Thomson, up there swinging.</i>

2020
01:32:55,665 --> 01:32:57,292
<i>He's had two out of three,
a single and a double...</i>

2021
01:32:57,500 --> 01:33:00,264
<i>and Billy Cox is playing him
right on the third base line.</i>

2022
01:33:00,470 --> 01:33:02,870
<i>One out, last of the ninth. Branca pitches.</i>

2023
01:33:03,073 --> 01:33:06,440
<i>Bobby Thomson takes a strike
called on the inside corner.</i>

2024
01:33:06,643 --> 01:33:08,543
<i>Bobby hitting at.292.</i>

2025
01:33:08,745 --> 01:33:09,609
<i>He's had a single and a double...</i>

2026
01:33:09,813 --> 01:33:13,874
<i>and he drove in
the Giants first run with a long fly to center.</i>

2027
01:33:14,084 --> 01:33:15,676
<i>Lockman without
too big of a lead at second...</i>

2028
01:33:15,885 --> 01:33:18,683
<i>but he'll be
running like the wind if Thomson hits one.</i>

2029
01:33:18,888 --> 01:33:19,946
<i>Branca throws.</i>

2030
01:33:20,156 --> 01:33:22,181
<i>There's a long drive!
It's gonna be, I believe...</i>

2031
01:33:22,392 --> 01:33:26,192
<i>The Giants win the pennant!
The Giants win the pennant!</i>

2032
01:33:26,396 --> 01:33:28,227
<i>The Giants win the pennant!</i>

2033
01:33:28,431 --> 01:33:30,194
<i>The Giants win the pennant...</i>

2034
01:33:30,400 --> 01:33:32,129
<i>and they're going crazy.</i>

2035
01:33:32,335 --> 01:33:33,996
<i>They're going crazy!</i>

2036
01:33:34,204 --> 01:33:36,968
<i>And home!</i>

2037
01:33:37,173 --> 01:33:38,734
<i>I don't believe it! I don't believe it!</i>

2038
01:33:39,442 --> 01:33:40,739
<i>- I do not believe it!</i>

2039
01:33:40,944 --> 01:33:43,242
<i>Bobby Thomson hit a line drive...</i>

2040
01:33:43,446 --> 01:33:46,210
<i>into the lower deck of the left field stands...</i>

2041
01:33:46,416 --> 01:33:48,976
<i>and the place is going crazy!</i>

2042
01:33:49,185 --> 01:33:52,916
<i>The Giants won it by a score of5 to 4...</i>

2043
01:33:53,123 --> 01:33:55,421
<i>and they're picking Bobby Thomson up</i>

2044
01:33:55,525 --> 01:33:57,755
<i>and carrying him off the field!</i>

2045
01:34:01,464 --> 01:34:03,432
Yeah! Yeah!

2046
01:34:10,140 --> 01:34:11,402
Wow.

2047
01:34:12,742 --> 01:34:15,939
I saw it. I saw it, Artie.

2048
01:34:16,546 --> 01:34:18,411
Call me Grandpa.

2049
01:34:23,219 --> 01:34:26,347
My big boy. How on earth...?

2050
01:34:26,556 --> 01:34:28,023
Grandpa taught me.

2051
01:34:28,758 --> 01:34:29,816
Oh...

2052
01:34:37,400 --> 01:34:39,595
Your father was wrong.

2053
01:34:41,438 --> 01:34:42,928
So was yours.

2054
01:34:47,444 --> 01:34:48,274
Oh, AI.

2055
01:34:52,782 --> 01:34:55,945
How much would it
embarrass you if I kissed you right now?

2056
01:34:56,286 --> 01:34:57,412
I think a lot.

2057
01:34:57,620 --> 01:34:58,780
As soon as we get home.

2058
01:34:58,988 --> 01:35:00,319
Okay, I look forward to it.

2059
01:35:00,523 --> 01:35:02,821
Dr. Schveer, I shun you.

2060
01:35:03,026 --> 01:35:04,891
You are shunned.

2061
01:35:07,630 --> 01:35:10,030
My friends, it's taken me over 35 years
to say these words...

2062
01:35:10,200 --> 01:35:11,690
it's opening day for the Giants

2063
01:35:11,801 --> 01:35:13,268
and we've got a capacity crowd.

2064
01:35:13,470 --> 01:35:15,631
Giants are out in the field.
There's Charlie "The Naz" Naznic...

2065
01:35:15,839 --> 01:35:18,103
batting.290, takes his stance at the plate.

2066
01:35:18,308 --> 01:35:21,277
Yes, Art. Let's see
if Naz can get his team out of a jam.

2067
01:35:21,478 --> 01:35:23,070
Okay, Turner, here's the action.

2068
01:35:23,313 --> 01:35:24,177
Naz swings!

2069
01:35:24,380 --> 01:35:25,580
He gets some wood on that one!

2070
01:35:25,615 --> 01:35:26,809
Hard drive to Barker Simmons.

2071
01:35:26,950 --> 01:35:28,031
Ooh! It's through his legs.

2072
01:35:28,184 --> 01:35:29,742
Walters has it. No, Walters loses it.

2073
01:35:30,854 --> 01:35:33,482
Sherman's got a glove down.
No, he stopped to pick his nose.

2074
01:35:33,690 --> 01:35:35,954
Now, Douglas is sitting down
and taking off his shoes...

2075
01:35:36,159 --> 01:35:37,919
because his mom said to me
before the game...

2076
01:35:38,061 --> 01:35:39,790
"Sometimes he's in another world."

2077
01:35:39,996 --> 01:35:41,623
Sherman still working
on that thing in his nose.

2078
01:35:41,831 --> 01:35:43,594
Man, that must be really packed in there!

2079
01:35:43,800 --> 01:35:44,698
You betcha!

2080
01:35:44,901 --> 01:35:45,959
Naz rounds second, heads for third.

2081
01:35:46,169 --> 01:35:48,296
Sherman has the booger!
Sherman has the booger!

2082
01:35:48,505 --> 01:35:51,531
I don't believe it! I do not believe it!

2083
01:35:51,741 --> 01:35:53,333
The other players are coming over
to examine it.

2084
01:35:53,543 --> 01:35:55,170
I can see it from here!

2085
01:35:55,378 --> 01:35:57,972
Wow, you could take
an aerial photograph of that thing!

2086
01:35:58,181 --> 01:36:01,173
I'm sure there's going
to be orange slices in the locker room...

2087
01:36:01,384 --> 01:36:02,344
and a couple of tissues.

2088
01:36:02,385 --> 01:36:05,445
Meanwhile, Naz scores.
And that is another home run!

2089
01:36:06,422 --> 01:36:10,722
The Giants are still leading, 34 to 27.

2090
01:36:10,927 --> 01:36:12,121
What a first inning!

2091
01:36:12,328 --> 01:36:13,158
You're telling me.

2092
01:36:13,363 --> 01:36:15,058
I hope the second inning is shorter

2093
01:36:15,165 --> 01:36:16,826
because grandpa needs a bathroom break.

2094
01:36:17,167 --> 01:36:19,135
- Whoo!
- Go Barker!

2095
01:36:19,335 --> 01:36:20,632
Our next batter is coming
up to the plate.

2096
01:36:20,837 --> 01:36:23,032
He's number three, Barker Simmons.

2097
01:36:23,239 --> 01:36:25,332
Yeah, Barker!

2098
01:36:25,575 --> 01:36:29,136
Young man with incredible
power. Three-foot-four and 45 pounds.

2099
01:36:30,213 --> 01:36:32,704
He hits it to shortstop. Oh, it's through!

2100
01:36:32,916 --> 01:36:34,277
Barker heading towards first base.

2101
01:36:34,350 --> 01:36:35,476
No, he makes a right turn!

2102
01:36:35,685 --> 01:36:37,346
He makes a right turn.

2103
01:36:37,554 --> 01:36:38,578
Barker, go back!

2104
01:36:38,688 --> 01:36:40,408
He's going the wrong way.

2105
01:36:40,890 --> 01:36:42,187
What are you doing here?

2106
01:36:42,392 --> 01:36:44,087
I just wanted to say hi.

2107
01:36:44,294 --> 01:36:46,353
He just wanted to say hi.

2108
01:36:46,563 --> 01:36:48,083
Well, I don't think I've ever heard...

2109
01:36:48,198 --> 01:36:49,838
Turn around, everybody. Take our picture.

2110
01:36:49,933 --> 01:36:51,560
Okay, picture.

2111
01:37:04,647 --> 01:37:06,967
<i>I got to
tell you friends, this is one of those days.</i>

2112
01:37:06,983 --> 01:37:09,952
<i>Seventy-eight degrees,
the sold out crowd of56 fans...</i>

2113
01:37:10,153 --> 01:37:12,053
<i>the smell of the popcorn, the hot dogs...</i>

2114
01:37:12,255 --> 01:37:14,723
<i>the loud pushy parents, and the crying kids.</i>

2115
01:37:14,924 --> 01:37:17,791
<i>But I'll tell you something,
there's no other place I'd rather be.</i>

2116
01:37:17,994 --> 01:37:20,394
<i>And as my grandson Barker
said to me this morning...</i>

2117
01:37:20,597 --> 01:37:22,690
<i>"Man, your feet smell like cheese."</i>

2118
01:37:22,899 --> 01:37:25,026
<i>This is Artie Decker,
De Voice of the Peewee Giants...</i>

2119
01:37:25,235 --> 01:37:26,259
<i>saying see you next game!</i>

2120
01:37:26,469 --> 01:37:28,460
And, lights out, Alice.

2121
01:37:28,938 --> 01:37:33,773
<i>Settle down, it'll all be clear</i>

2122
01:37:36,846 --> 01:37:39,644
<i>Don't pay no mind to the demons</i>

2123
01:37:39,749 --> 01:37:41,683
<i>They fill you with fear</i>

2124
01:37:44,787 --> 01:37:47,722
<i>The trouble, it might drag you down</i>

2125
01:37:48,057 --> 01:37:51,458
<i>If you get lost, you can always be found</i>

2126
01:37:52,528 --> 01:37:55,497
<i>Just know you're not alone</i>

2127
01:37:57,000 --> 01:38:00,663
<i>'Cause I'm going to make
this place your home</i>

2128
01:44:31,427 --> 01:44:35,022
Um...
Andy? Andy, there's no paper.

2129
01:44:35,231 --> 01:44:37,756
Anyone have five singles for a five?