1
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,404
(WHISPERING)
Sweetheart.
2
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:14,967
Mmm?
3
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,479
Go over to the window right now
4
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,007
and open it as wide as you can.
5
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,044
Please let me sleep.
6
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,161
(MUNCHING)
7
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,839
I think your
mother's here from Mexico,
8
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,679
and she needs to leave.
9
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,729
Open the window now.
10
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,491
(GROANS) Why don't you
open it, you lazy...
11
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:48,839
(GASPS)
12
00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:49,959
(SCREAMING)
13
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:50,961
(ROARING)
14
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:52,971
Somebody help!
15
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,724
Close your mouth!
16
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,647
No way. Can I ride him?
17
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:11,601
(SCREAMING)
18
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:17,561
(SCREAMING)
19
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,484
A deer!
20
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:29,731
(MUTTERING FRANTICALLY)
21
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,562
(EXHALES)
Okay.
22
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,807
Daddy,
I left the front door open
23
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,159
in case any animals
wanted to come in.
24
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,491
- You did, huh?
- And one did.
25
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,399
- Yeah.
- Yeah, one crazy-ass one.
26
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,319
Oh, no, you did a nice thing,
sweetheart.
27
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,079
Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!
28
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,525
Daddy, no!
29
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,079
No, no, I'm not
going to hit the deer.
30
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,079
I'm just going to massage his
head for a little bit with it.
31
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,208
Okay, come on, come on.
32
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,681
(WHIMPERS)
33
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,359
He's right here.
34
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,203
He's eating Bowser's food.
35
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,439
Shh.
36
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,999
Okay, he knows we're here now.
37
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,128
Stay. Stay.
38
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,409
What's he looking at?
39
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,959
Move your doll towards me.
40
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,121
And back to you.
41
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,039
Towards me.
42
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,839
Back to you.
43
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,126
Three times, fast.
44
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,839
Give me that thing.
45
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,126
Mr. Gigglesworth?
46
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,639
No, don't worry.
Give it to me.
47
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,679
Go on. It's okay.
It's okay.
48
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,799
Put it in my hand.
49
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,131
Roxanne, take them in there.
50
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,039
Over there.
51
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,169
Hey, dude.
You like this guy?
52
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,679
Huh?
53
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:47,966
You want to play with him?
54
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,843
All right, let's go
play in the other room.
55
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,804
Come on. Come on, man.
56
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,479
Slowly walk with me.
57
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,119
I said slowly.
58
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,121
No.
59
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:00,999
Ah! Ah!
60
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,047
Get out of the way!
61
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,808
Oh, my God!
62
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,009
Problem solved.
63
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,361
Mr. Gigglesworth!
Daddy, he's killing him!
64
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,364
A new problem begins.
65
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,165
I'm sorry.
66
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,165
Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?
67
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,001
(SIGHS)
68
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,279
Easy.
69
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,281
Ew.
70
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,639
It is nice.
71
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,319
Thank you, all right.
Cool, yeah.
72
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,560
Yeah, come on.
73
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,962
28?
74
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,408
Yes.
75
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,403
35.
76
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,928
That's right again,
smarty-pants.
77
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,359
Hi, Dad.
78
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,760
Hey, Bean,
working on the math, huh?
79
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,159
Yep.
80
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,243
Mommy said if I get all
my math questions right,
81
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,807
I get to ride my bike to
school with Becky Feder.
82
00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:01,199
Really? Okay, Bean, well,
what's seven plus nine?
83
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,690
Seventy-nine.
84
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,719
Is he a little boy
or a computer?
85
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,882
'Cause (HOARSELY)
I can't figure it out.
86
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,679
Don't destroy his confidence.
87
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,284
Happy summer, everybody.
88
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,481
ERIC: Whoa.
89
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,559
Okay, you sure you want to go
with those boots, honey?
90
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,359
I know you
bedazzled them yourself.
91
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,279
I'm just wondering
if they'll attract
92
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,359
too much attention,
you know, from outer space.
93
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,239
It's the last day of school,
94
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,890
and Mom says I'm
free to express myself.
95
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,448
Oh, building the confidence
right here with R2-D2.
96
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,639
Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.
97
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:36,759
Confidence.
98
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,239
Well, we're not gonna have to
pay for college.
99
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,119
That's for sure.
(CHUCKLING)
100
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,646
Well, looks like a horse took
a dump in Ronnie's diaper.
101
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,079
You're gonna need federal aid
to clean that up.
102
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,639
Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo
grenade go off in your diaper?
103
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,971
You gonna change it?
104
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,559
That's not my son,
that's your son.
105
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,519
Ah ha ha! Yesterday
was my diaper day.
106
00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:00,128
Today he is all yours, and
it's gonna get nasty. Whoo!
107
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,319
(CHUCKLES)
Go, Ronnie.
108
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,279
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- ANDRE: Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
109
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,559
He looks like Nicki Minaj
110
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,119
trying to shake her butt
implants back into place.
111
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,326
BOTH:
Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
112
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,799
Come on, Ronnie.
113
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,119
Go, Ronnie.
114
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,799
You got a lot of
appointments today, sweetie?
115
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,439
Nah, just one repair job.
116
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:16,839
Very special.
117
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,524
All right, I'm going in.
118
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,522
What is...
119
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,964
What is this?
120
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,564
A necklace?
121
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,279
Happy 20th anniversary, babe.
122
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,328
Wow, Dad, you remembered.
123
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,288
Oh, yeah.
124
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,448
Mom didn't.
125
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,046
Oh! That's cold.
126
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,639
MARCUS: I think I'm gonna
bust out of here.
127
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,640
WOMAN: So he gets off
the train and nobody's there?
128
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,799
Braden needs to spend
at least one summer with you
129
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,319
so he can say he has a dad,
you deadbeat, Higgins.
130
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,679
Well, not to be mean,
131
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,331
but I'm not even
1,000% sure who you are.
132
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,839
WOMAN:
I was up from Florida.
133
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,119
Right in
the middle of making out,
134
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,119
I got a really bad
case of the hiccups.
135
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,122
Hiccups McGee?
136
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,719
Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't
know about with Hiccups McGee?
137
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,519
And no offense,
but I'm gonna have to ask
138
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,799
for a DNA test, you know,
139
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,326
because you just never...
140
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,199
No need.
141
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,850
Later, Hiccups.
142
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,325
You're him.
143
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,559
Yeah, without the hat.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
144
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,799
It's actually a good likeness.
145
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,201
How you doing, man?
146
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,526
I'm your dad.
147
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,406
Nice to see you, Braden.
148
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,404
That's strike one.
149
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,044
Good news is, you get...
150
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,969
Unlimited amount of strikes.
151
00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,479
Um...
152
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,164
How about I take you to school?
153
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,479
No school.
154
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,239
- Summertime.
- Oh.
155
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,959
Not yet. One more day.
I know, it's a drag.
156
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,599
Normally I'd let you just
blow it off and play hooky,
157
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,959
but I'm volunteering
at the soup kitchen today,
158
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,599
so when I'm done,
159
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,959
I'll come pick you
up and we'll hang out.
160
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,479
I got you this, but...
161
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,759
Obviously you're,
like, 13, so I don't know,
162
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,279
but it's actually pretty nice
163
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,647
and cute, and you should
out the head off it, okay.
164
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,126
Well, let's get going.
165
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,805
Yo, yo,
yo, yo, don't forget this.
166
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,439
Is it a gift?
167
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,759
No, it's
the Gigglesworth massacre.
168
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,959
I told Becky you could
sew it back together for her.
169
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,239
What?
170
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,279
Martha Stewart
couldn't fix this.
171
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,439
Come on.
172
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:45,439
Oh, but you're such a good daddy
for picking up all the pieces.
173
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,119
That's why I've been thinking,
174
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,759
we moved back
here to your hometown
175
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,439
so we could have more quality
time with our family, right?
176
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,601
That's right.
177
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:56,799
How would you
feel about expanding?
178
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,801
Having another kid?
179
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:58,967
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
180
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,799
Oh, but it's perfect
right now, you know?
181
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,279
If I buy one large pizza,
Greg gets two pieces,
182
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,999
Keith gets two, Becky gets
one, you get one, I get four.
183
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,240
It's kind of perfect, you know.
184
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,921
I don't want to have
to buy another pie.
185
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,527
Why don't you go on a diet,
fat gordo éste?
186
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,519
Come on, I've had
a job since I'm 16.
187
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,519
It's the first time
I've got a free schedule.
188
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,159
I'm just enjoying the fun.
189
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,731
Don't forget Becky's
ballet recital at 11:00.
190
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,759
I got to go to that?
191
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,967
I mean, I get to
go to that? Great.
192
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,767
I'm saying, that's... I thought it
was sold out. That's great news.
193
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,039
Have the best last day of
school, my gorgeous children!
194
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,399
I love you all!
195
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,919
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Mom, bye.
196
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,048
KEITHIE: Yeah,
last day of school, Greg.
197
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,159
Last chance to ask
out Nancy Arbuckle.
198
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,319
Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?
You like a girl?
199
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,839
Is that why you've been taking
them long showers?
200
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,365
No, I'm conditioning my hair.
201
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,119
That's all I do in the shower...
Condition my hair.
202
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,439
That's not what
the deer told me.
203
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,719
That deer's a liar.
204
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:53,999
(LAUGHING)
205
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,083
I heard too much conditioning
can make you go blind.
206
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,599
What? Where'd you hear that?
207
00:09:58,600 --> 00:09:59,681
Higgins.
208
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,887
I should kill him.
209
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,844
He's too chicken
to ask her out, Dad,
210
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,639
'cause she's
the hottest girl in school,
211
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,799
and Greg is fugly.
212
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,359
So what he's fugly? All the
guys in our family are fugly.
213
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,279
That don't stop us from
getting the hot chicks.
214
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,319
Look at me and look at your mother.
I mean, it makes no sense.
215
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,999
Only in, like, a Hollywood
movie or something.
216
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,729
Every guy in
school likes her, Dad.
217
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,119
And you'll be the guy
who ends up with her.
218
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,959
You know why? You're gonna
follow my three-step program.
219
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,440
Number one,
make the girl smile.
220
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,879
Number two, tell her
she has a nice smile.
221
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,319
Number three, say she has to
go out with you that night.
222
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,320
Why that night?
223
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,799
'Cause it gives her less time to
think about how fugly you are.
224
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,039
'Cause you are fugly.
225
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,799
That's the stupidest
thing I ever heard.
226
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,088
And Keithie's right... I'm too
chicken to even talk to her.
227
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,239
Hey, you're a Feder. Feders
ain't afraid of women, buddy.
228
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,959
That's not
the way I'm raising you.
229
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,239
Oh, by the way, Dad, did you ask
Mom if I can play football?
230
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,639
No, I was scared.
231
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,085
I'm afraid she's
gonna yell at me
232
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,759
in that accent that
no one understands.
233
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,683
Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.
234
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,399
School starts at 8:15.
235
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,563
That means we
only have 25 minutes.
236
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,839
Daddy, you promise Mr. Gigglesworth
will be better by bedtime?
237
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,491
Will you stop worrying about him?
He'll be fine. I love you.
238
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,399
- Have the best last day, okay?
- Okay.
239
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,599
- Bye, guys.
- Bye, Daddy.
240
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,647
Love you.
241
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,879
And you read
the street signs, okay?
242
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,041
Don't let Bean.
243
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,239
My God,
riding their bikes to school.
244
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,919
Couldn't do that in L.A.
with the nuts out there.
245
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,730
Yeah, 'cause thank God there's
no crazy people out here.
246
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,844
(TIRES SCREECHING)
247
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,480
How you doing, Nick?
248
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,119
My wife's leaving
me after three weeks.
249
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,559
Three weeks?
That's not bad for you.
250
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,079
What happened?
251
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,448
She found me eating
a banana with my butt.
252
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,439
Ah. And she didn't like that?
253
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,522
Yeah,
she got really bummed out,
254
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,689
but, you know, I shouldn't have
done it at her mom's house.
255
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,404
Yeah, you...
256
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,239
You seem like you're a little
extra out of it today.
257
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,366
What's going on?
258
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,839
Yeah, I'm a little medicated.
259
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,919
I met a very reliable doctor
at a Cypress Hill concert,
260
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,799
and he floated me a couple pills
just to feel better, you know.
261
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,879
(IN HIGH VOICE)
But I don't feel better!
262
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,530
(IN LOW VOICE)
You feel worse!
263
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,122
Ladies and gentlemen,
meet your new bus driver.
264
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,359
Finally got yourself a job.
265
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,647
Actually I'm filling in for
Drool-io Iglesias back there.
266
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,968
(SNORING)
267
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,446
(SQUEALS)
268
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,849
Hey, Deanne, happy anniversary.
269
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,162
Oh! Thank you, Lenny.
270
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,159
Lenny remembered.
Isn't that sweet?
271
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,366
And I never got him pregnant.
272
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,726
She forgot?
273
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,001
Yeah, she forgot.
274
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,319
No.
275
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,679
I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free
card in the world.
276
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,239
I want one of those.
277
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,839
Oh, you ain't never get one
like this. Hey, honey,
278
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,159
I'm gonna take
a ride to work with Lenny.
279
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,810
Don't worry about
forgetting the 20th.
280
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,524
I'm sure you'll
remember the 30th.
281
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,839
I love you.
282
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,571
Yeah, sure you do...
Deep down.
283
00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,039
That's not another
necklace in there, is it?
284
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,486
(SINGING)
285
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,606
I'm gonna abuse this
get-out-of-jail-free card,
286
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,159
I'm telling you right now.
287
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,439
I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good
rug without taking off my boots.
288
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,441
Oh!
289
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,370
Or have a nice
non-diet soda with my dinner.
290
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,239
Not just one, either,
291
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,439
a whole damn pitcher.
292
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,439
Oh, so you're going full gangsta.
Oh, yeah.
293
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,199
But you know what
I'd really like to do?
294
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,680
Throw a "first
night of summer" party.
295
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,085
Yeah. You know, something
a little crazy.
296
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,645
Well,
it's been many, many years
297
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,279
since we've done
something crazy.
298
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,719
Just one problem, though.
299
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,439
My house isn't big enough.
300
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,119
But yours is.
(GROANS)
301
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,759
Last party I had was senior
year in high school.
302
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,759
Yeah, that was, like,
the best night of my life.
303
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:38,761
We all hooked up with chicks.
304
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,719
Come on, why not do that again?
305
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,007
Because we already
have chicks and kids
306
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,479
and high
cholesterol now, so just...
307
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,599
It's time to move on. You want
to come over tonight with Dee,
308
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,919
that's fine... I think.
309
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,199
I got to ask my wife first.
310
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,199
Okay, gangsta.
(LAUGHS)
311
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:57,079
Hey, hey, where'd you get
those shoes, Losers "R" Us?
312
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,199
I made them.
313
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,719
You made them?
314
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,245
In a toilet?
(LAUGHS)
315
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,719
That kid's like white Precious.
316
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,039
(LAUGHS)
317
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,079
Get lost, Duffy.
318
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,519
Yeah, leave her alone.
319
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,599
Hey, what'd you say, Hollywood?
320
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,840
You got something to say to me?
321
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,239
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
322
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,479
Attention, Kmart shoppers,
let's find a seat, please.
323
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,845
Yes,
you in the camouflage jacket
324
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,639
and Mariah Carey hairdo.
325
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,119
Yeah,
just pop a squat, thank you.
326
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,559
You're lucky your dad's here,
but he won't be here all day.
327
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,639
Leave me alone.
328
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,759
Beanbag with arms and legs,
329
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,119
seriously, take a seat,
330
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,119
or seats,
before someone gets hurt.
331
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,279
(KIDS LAUGHING)
332
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,123
You're dead, man.
333
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,564
(ALL CHUCKLING)
334
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,799
ROXANNE: I'm gonna go get
some things done,
335
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,719
and then I'm gonna go to my
daughter's ballet recital,
336
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,799
so you're on your
own until lunchtime.
337
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,928
Oh, no worries.
No one will come in anyway.
338
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,842
Right.
339
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,479
Does Leonard
ever talk about me?
340
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,999
Leonard?
341
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,039
Your husband.
342
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,679
Oh, Lenny.
343
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:10,039
I probably should have told you
this before I started working here,
344
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,044
but he used to be my boyfriend.
345
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,441
Oh.
346
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,839
When did you guys go out?
347
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,921
Sixth grade.
348
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,679
This one time,
349
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:25,526
we split a piece of bubble gum at recess.
(CHUCKLES)
350
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,679
I brought in a note
351
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,199
that he sent me, and I
thought you should see it.
352
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,044
I just felt weird
having a secret with you.
353
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,319
"Do you like my hair better
in a barrette or a headband?"
354
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,519
That's what I wrote.
355
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,319
"Barrette."
356
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,209
And that was his response.
357
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,719
Does it bother you
that I still wear it?
358
00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,281
Oh, no, no, no,
I think it's sweet.
359
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,842
I think he still
has feelings for me.
360
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,919
I'm gonna go work out now.
361
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,559
Do you really think
that a tight, toned body
362
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,879
will keep him away
from his Hubba Bubba baby?
363
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,963
I hope so. Bye.
364
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,447
You just messed with
the wrong girl, chica!
365
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,519
They spray-painted my baby.
366
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,239
Gee, and
everything's spelled right.
367
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,924
These can't be my students.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
368
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,441
Oh!
369
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,799
Have a nice day, Rapunzel.
370
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,559
Hey,
guys, can you believe this?
371
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,439
Calendar turns to June,
372
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,959
my wonderful students,
they become animals.
373
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,639
Maybe they're just
mad that you keep going
374
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,199
to the babyGap to
buy your clothes.
375
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,239
BOY: Hey, Principal Tardio,
good morning.
376
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,969
Right to class, right to class.
377
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,811
How was your last ride in
before the summer, Nick?
378
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,439
Remember,
today is only a half a day.
379
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,239
- And a half a shirt, right?
- What?
380
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,159
- I said he wants to wave good-bye to you.
- Oh, okay.
381
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,764
Here he goes.
382
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,599
I'm excited about the summer,
too.
383
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,759
Hey, that's my laptop!
That's not waterproof!
384
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,091
Monkey boy, monkey boy.
385
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,559
Summer!
386
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,599
Monkey boy.
387
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,679
Summer!
388
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,411
Summer! Summer!
389
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,609
So, what do you think?
390
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,359
Do I take you straight to work?
391
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,647
I got one
appointment I got to get to
392
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,119
sometime between 8:00 a.m.
and 4:00 p.m.
393
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,279
- Okay.
- But she can wait.
394
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,519
Good. And look at this.
395
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,284
He's back at it again.
396
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,879
Why isn't he at work?
397
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,406
He's just...
This woman has a grip on him.
398
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,000
It's ridiculous.
It's gonna ruin his marriage.
399
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,839
Thank you for breakfast, Mommy.
400
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,844
Will you be coming by to watch
Days of Our Lives later?
401
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,519
Well, we got to find out which
twin murdered Renaldo, right?
402
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,879
We sure do.
403
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,399
Mmm-hmm.
(BOTH LAUGH)
404
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,119
- Okay.
- LENNY: Hey, Mrs. Lamonsoff,
405
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,199
good to see you.
406
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,479
Nice school bus, Lenny.
407
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,239
Thank you. Have a great day.
408
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,119
Did Mommy make
the boo-boo go away?
409
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,919
Don't tell the wife.
410
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,119
What are you guys doing?
411
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,849
Get in.
412
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,039
Oh, hey, Nick.
413
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,199
Nice. Nice.
414
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,639
Let's hit it.
415
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,483
Watch this.
416
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,159
BOTH: Oh!
(ALL LAUGH)
417
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,207
Wow.
418
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,519
You got to respect that.
419
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,521
That was awesome.
420
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,848
What's Lenny's problem?
They're so cute when they're little.
421
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,199
I know. I miss it.
422
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,771
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.
423
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,359
(WOMEN GASP)
424
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,044
You miss that? Really?
425
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,639
Stay. Stay.
(GROWLING)
426
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,999
Don't you growl at me.
427
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,159
Stay, baby, stay.
428
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,359
Excuse me.
429
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,519
Is your kid gonna be in here
when the instructor comes in?
430
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,039
That's not my kid.
431
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,919
That's my lover,
and he's very gentle.
432
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,519
(SINGING)
433
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,679
Kids don't belong in here.
434
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,364
That leash
better not trip me up.
435
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,999
Leash isn't gonna trip you up.
436
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,083
It's your big-ass, hairy man
feet that are gonna trip you up.
437
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:53,481
(GRUNTS)
438
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,729
She was just
joking around, sir.
439
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,559
Cool it.
You're gonna get us killed.
440
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,086
DEANNE: I'm sorry.
I'm having the worst day.
441
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,407
Welcome to Squat Fitness,
ladies.
442
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,719
Apparently your new instructor's
running a bit late.
443
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,559
I'm sorry.
It's only five till...
444
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,404
Yeah, so he asked me to lead
you in some warm-up exercises.
445
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,719
So, everybody, up on your feet,
446
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,359
and let's take a deep breath.
447
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:18,646
(INHALES)
Good.
448
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,039
Deeper... Really
stretch out those lungs.
449
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,279
And now let's shimmy.
450
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,719
Shake
the shoulders back and forth.
451
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,449
Shake them.
452
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,319
Very good, very good.
453
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,999
Yeah, oh, yeah.
454
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,446
Now let's do some
jackhammer squats.
455
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,079
Right, put your hands in front
of you like this. Just relax.
456
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,999
And then squat up
and down but fast.
457
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,639
Faster, faster, there you go.
458
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,719
Really fast.
459
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,399
Faster, faster.
460
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,319
Too fast.
Do it a little slower.
461
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,679
Now, everybody turn,
462
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,199
face the back of the room,
bend over,
463
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,759
and reach for your toes.
464
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:49,879
Why do we have to turn around?
465
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,041
If you please.
466
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:55,727
And bend over as
low as you can go.
467
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,447
Now take the right hand and slap
it against the right cheek.
468
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,365
Relax the wrist and slap
that right butt, slap it.
469
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,319
Good, I want to hear that slap.
470
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,687
Oh, yes, this is wonderful.
471
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,119
Morning, ladies.
472
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,639
You started without me?
473
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,802
Yes, just like you asked me to.
474
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,439
Say it's true even if it isn't.
475
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,239
(EXCLAMATIONS OF DISGUST)
What?
476
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,005
Oh, you loved it!
You loved it!
477
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,321
(SCREAMING)
478
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,959
Yeah, that's my boy.
479
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,041
All right.
480
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,440
JANITOR:
You're all prostitutes!
481
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,519
Anyway. I'm Kyle,
482
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,439
and welcome to the summer
session of Squatrobics 101.
483
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,249
I wish they called
it something else,
484
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,279
but that's what
they told me to say.
485
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,079
Okay,
so, before we start for real,
486
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,279
any questions?
487
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,566
Yes.
488
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,039
Are you married?
(WOMEN CHUCKLE)
489
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,199
No.
490
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,439
Nope, I'm... I'm single.
491
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,239
Um...
Yeah.
492
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:54,639
(STAMMERING) I forgot. You're so
gorgeous, my head is spinning.
493
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:55,926
I'm sorry. God.
494
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,119
Go ahead.
495
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,205
I have a very important question,
and it's a two-parter.
496
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,924
The first part of
the question is,
497
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,759
"Did a scientist
make you in a lab?"
498
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,519
And the second part
of the question is,
499
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,919
"Can I stick my tongue down your
throat, please?" (WOMEN CHUCKLING)
500
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,679
All right, guys, look,
I'm flattered. Really, I am,
501
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,605
but most of you are married
and I happen to be gay.
502
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,359
(WOMEN GROAN
WITH DISAPPOINTMENT)
503
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,559
Of course he is.
504
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,279
All of 'em.
That sucks!
505
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,559
DEANNE:
What a waste!
506
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,971
Stay out of my bag, little man.
507
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,159
Why does she have this?
508
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,439
That's not a jock strap,
that's a G-string.
509
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:30,441
(LAUGHING)
510
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,161
(GRUNTS)
511
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,079
Well, well, well,
512
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,759
if it isn't Hollywood
513
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,239
and the Squares.
(CHUCKLES)
514
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,559
Hey, Malcolm, I didn't
know you worked at Kmart,
515
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,399
and apparently the hair on top of
your head didn't know it, either.
516
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,639
What?
517
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:06,919
Do me a favor, go like this.
518
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,604
I think I got
something in my teeth.
519
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,079
- What?
- You know,
520
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,482
next time, you should use that
Chia Pet stuff on your whole head.
521
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:14,919
What?
522
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,959
Why is Higgins buying.
523
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,371
O.J.'s knife right now?
524
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,481
You think you're tough?
525
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,679
KURT:
Hey, Malcolm,
526
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,286
is that the knife the Indians
used to half-scalp you with?
527
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,679
I don't even get that.
528
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,039
What?
529
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,121
Oh, come on, let's cheer him up
530
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,599
Benny Hill-style.
Here we go.
531
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,799
ERIC: Come on,
come on, come on, come on...
532
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,039
LENNY: Does that make
you feel better?
533
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,919
Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee,
how'd it go with the kid?
534
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,759
Good, good. He's in school.
535
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,759
Kid's in school for one day?
536
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,959
I didn't know what else to do.
He's a thug, Lenny.
537
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,599
He cut the head off a teddy bear.
Imagine what he'll do to me.
538
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,159
So you're gonna buy
this to cut his head off?
539
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,439
No, I just want him to think
I'll cut his head off
540
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,079
so then he won't
cut my head off.
541
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,050
You want to scare a relative
without causing permanent injury?
542
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,359
May I suggest this?
543
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:57,361
Ahhh!
544
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:03,999
Sir?
Sir? Can you get off the bed?
545
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,799
It's wake-up time.
546
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:10,479
Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up!
Stop yelling at me.
547
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,679
Now, why is... Being mean?
548
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,119
I like sleeping over.
It's just you always yell.
549
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,199
You don't have to yell at me.
550
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,079
I love you.
551
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,445
I don't understand.
552
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,165
(GRUNTING WITH EFFORT)
553
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,319
Clean-up, aisle nine.
554
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,839
Get out of me!
555
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,730
And bring a shovel.
556
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,439
So, my son Bumpty told me
557
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,159
he's gonna ask your daughter
out on a date at school today.
558
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,039
First of all, my daughter's never
been out on a date before,
559
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,999
and I'm sure she's not gonna start
off with some kid named Bumpty.
560
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,039
He is the only other
black kid in her grade.
561
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,919
Wait, you want her
to date a white guy?
562
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,519
Yeah, Farrakhan.
563
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,679
I'd rather she date the whitest
white guy in the world
564
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,762
than your little
bald-headed boy.
565
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,930
All right, but, you know,
don't worry when she says yes,
566
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,759
'cause I already
had the talk with him.
567
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,599
- What talk?
- Dating.
568
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,479
I told him how we used to roll
with the ladies in high school.
569
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,882
You know, beep-beep.
(MOANING)
570
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,559
(YELLING AGGRESSIVELY)
571
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,879
What?
572
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,399
I should get some
pepper spray for my kid.
573
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,919
Some moron on the bus
keeps messing with him,
574
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,799
and he refuses to fight back.
575
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,239
You know, that reminds me
of someone I know.
576
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,759
- Who?
- You.
577
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,759
What are you talking about?
I got in plenty of fights.
578
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,599
Remember ninth grade
when Tommy Cavanaugh
579
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,119
moved here from Texas?
580
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,679
He nonstop abused you,
and you did nothing about it.
581
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,599
Tommy Cavanaugh
was a 'roid freak.
582
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,679
He had back zits
on his back zits.
583
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,359
Plus, he was
joking around with me.
584
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,399
If it was real, I swear to God,
I would've knocked him out.
585
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:42,679
Hey, isn't that
Cavanaugh right there?
586
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,599
Where?
(ALL LAUGHING)
587
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,719
Gotcha.
588
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,919
That was really funny,
man, really funny.
589
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,684
Hey, you weren't
exactly Captain Courageous
590
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,649
when we were
growing up, now, were you?
591
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,603
Hey, I never backed
out of a fight, though.
592
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,239
Yeah, but did you ever jump
off Suicide 35 at the quarry?
593
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,839
Oh, that's right.
594
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,999
He always came up with a
lame excuse not to do it.
595
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,599
What are you talking about?
"Oh, I can't."
596
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,919
"I'm on my period.
It'll attract sharks."
597
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,039
(STAMMERING)
598
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:10,079
Suicide 35 off the top rock.
35 feet above the water.
599
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,323
My mom did that jump when she was
pregnant with me. (LAUGHING)
600
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,524
There's a raft in there?
601
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:27,121
Whoa!
602
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,679
Who did that?
603
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:34,727
(BELL RINGING)
604
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,764
All right, little birds.
Find your nests, man.
605
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,719
Float down.
There we go, and we're in.
606
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:43,879
All right, guys,
607
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,279
normally we don't have exciting
news this late into the term,
608
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,719
but we have a new student joining
us today, Braden Higgins.
609
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,039
Hey, there's an empty
seat over there, man.
610
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,327
Why don't you go cop a squat?
611
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,639
Or go that way, man.
612
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,642
Take your own path.
613
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,999
No.
614
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,411
I sit here.
615
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,562
Is your dad Marcus Higgins?
616
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,319
Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby.
He's the funniest.
617
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,448
The best. Great, great man.
618
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,559
I want to smash his face.
619
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:29,639
Yeah, me, too.
620
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:30,679
Yeah, I hate that guy.
621
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,569
Screw him.
622
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,839
Yo, Charlotte,
hold up, hold up. Question...
623
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,999
How would you like to spend
the first night of summer
624
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,765
with a hardcore up-and-comer?
625
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,119
What does that mean?
626
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,679
I think he's asking you out.
627
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:49,799
He is?
628
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,439
You are?
629
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,039
I don't make stuff up.
630
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,479
Well, can Donna come?
631
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,479
Three's a crowd, McCloud.
632
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,562
No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
633
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,439
It's okay, Charlotte.
It's a date, your first date.
634
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,566
Just you two.
635
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,199
All right. I mean,
636
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,999
I'd have to ask my parents,
637
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,599
but I think that would be okay.
638
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,679
COACH:
Hey, Bumpty.
639
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,199
You think just because
it's the last day of school,
640
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,359
you can sit and
socialize the entire period?
641
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,519
I don't think about stuff
like that, Lady Shorts.
642
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,726
Well, can you think fast?
643
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,087
Ow!
644
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:26,399
(COACH LAUGHING)
645
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,079
Who wants to
watch me climb a rope?
646
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,402
(GRUNTING)
Yeah!
647
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:33,601
Ugh.
648
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,081
Oh, you're the man!
649
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,399
Whoo!
650
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,199
Yo, he's got to put those
Easter eggs back in the basket.
651
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,799
Dang!
652
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,848
Kelly, I don't want to hear it!
653
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,839
Oh, I can't take it anymore!
654
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,079
I wish I never had you!
655
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,839
Oh! Stop it! Stop it!
656
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,808
See, that's why I
don't want four kids.
657
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,244
Yeah, people with four just
lose their minds. Yeah.
658
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,679
They're yelling,
they're screaming.
659
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,839
Sometimes they go to jail
just to get some sleep.
660
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,359
Hold up. Hang on.
661
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:01,600
- I got a burpsnart coming.
- Uh-oh.
662
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,319
(BURPS, SNEEZES AND FARTS)
663
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,439
MARCUS:
Ho ho!
664
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:06,601
Come on.
665
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:07,959
You got to teach
me how you do that.
666
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,519
- A burpsnart? It's simple.
- Yeah.
667
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,239
You just start with a burp,
668
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,119
then you sniff for a sneeze,
you get that going,
669
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,399
and that
triggers a fart, always.
670
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,719
What's up with this school bus?
671
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,644
Okay. I stole it.
672
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,967
What?
Put your hands in the air.
673
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,319
♪ And wave them like you ♪
♪ just don't care "ho" ♪
674
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,439
ALL:
♪ Oh! ♪
675
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:29,441
♪ Say "ho" ♪
676
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,119
ALL:
♪ Oh! ♪
677
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,239
I heard you're having
a party tonight, Lenny.
678
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,322
What? I'm not
having a party.
679
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:36,559
Where did you hear that?
680
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,159
He's a cop.
He hears everything.
681
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,161
LENNY:
Oh, God.
682
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,039
Look, it's Magnum P.U.
683
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,160
Look at him getting all serious.
I still can't believe
684
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,044
you're a cop after all the
sick stuff you did growing up.
685
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,799
The Peter Dante who stole
your parents' snowmobile
686
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,719
and sold it to purchase
crack cocaine is dead, Feder.
687
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,479
This side of
the law is way better.
688
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,079
To serve and protect.
Got to love it.
689
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,399
Hey, McKenzie, I heard you
assaulted somebody in there.
690
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,639
I didn't assault anybody. I
just choked out your brother.
691
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,879
Yeah, he deserves it.
He's crazy.
692
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,759
We got five minutes
to get to that stupid recital.
693
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,919
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Recital?
694
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,001
At McDonough Elementary?
695
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,239
Yes.
696
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:14,319
Can I come?
697
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,321
Why?
698
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,679
Trust me.
Everybody's got to go.
699
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,479
We got five minutes. We're
never gonna make it there.
700
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,679
You'll get there on time,
701
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,039
'cause we're gonna give you a
four-alarm presidential police escort.
702
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,359
Isn't that against the law?
703
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,879
I am the law!
704
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,479
(GUN FIRING)
(HORN HONKING)
705
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,559
What's happening?
706
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,608
(CHUCKLING)
Whoo!
707
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,401
(SIREN WAILING)
708
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,365
(YELPING)
709
00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:44,801
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
710
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,688
Oh, my God!
What just happened?
711
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,121
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
712
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:58,281
Welcome, parents, to final
performance of school year,
713
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,479
our June-a-licious.
714
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,767
Dance Spectacular!
715
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,085
Now, for this year,
716
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,999
we go throwing a few
717
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,519
hip-hop moves in there.
718
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,522
Like this.
719
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,559
Is fun to dance.
720
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,040
Let the show begin.
721
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:33,199
So nice of you to invite your
friends and the bus driver
722
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,199
and the police force to our
daughter's dance recital.
723
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,639
Yeah, huge ballet fans,
all of them.
724
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:41,641
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
725
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:50,441
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
726
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,479
- SALLY: Ooh!
- ERIC: Oh.
727
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,119
She's so cute.
728
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,679
- So cute.
- She's adorable, isn't she?
729
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,039
She is adorable.
730
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,610
- Fantastic stuff.
- Unbelievable.
731
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,359
- Look at her go.
- I am.
732
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,283
I'm looking at her.
733
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,599
I want to arrest her
for disturbing the peace.
734
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,602
In my pants.
735
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,090
I'm having a wonderful time.
736
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:43,481
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
737
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,648
She's got a solo?
738
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:50,921
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
739
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:54,600
What?
740
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,042
ROXANNE: It's fine.
I just wish that you
741
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,199
would give me more
than eight hours notice
742
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,399
before you tell me that
we're throwing a party, babe.
743
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,839
It's not a party.
Get out of here.
744
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,359
- It's a couple people coming by.
- Come on.
745
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:14,799
How'd you like it?
746
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,599
- You were great, honey.
- Hey!
747
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,599
Where did you learn
to dance like that?
748
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,599
She moves like "Yagger," no?
749
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,439
Yes,
she does, she moves like...
750
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,999
Mick Yagger?
Is that what you were saying?
751
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,319
Hey, butter buns,
you ready to grab some eats?
752
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,319
Yes.
753
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:29,999
Cavanaugh.
754
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,399
Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.
755
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,719
Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh.
756
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,529
He was my old steroid
that I grew up with.
757
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,719
This is my...
758
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,839
Wife, Roxanne.
759
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,559
Why are your
hands shaking, Daddy?
760
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:43,839
My hands are shaking?
761
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,559
Probably because I
762
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,879
had too much coffee
this morning, sweetheart.
763
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,120
I heard you been running around
764
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,519
saying you could
take me in a fight.
765
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,759
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
You... I wouldn't say that.
766
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,639
Yeah, you did,
this morning in Kmart.
767
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,399
Kmart? Was I there?
768
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,439
I don't think I was there.
769
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,519
You know,
770
00:32:58,520 --> 00:32:59,879
all I can
remember about this guy
771
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,799
is smacking him around
whenever I wanted to,
772
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,799
and him not doing
a single thing about it.
773
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,239
Yeah, we had a lot of good
times like that growing up.
774
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,159
Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?
Are you crying?
775
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,279
You don't stop talking, do you?
776
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,199
Honey,
we should be getting going.
777
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,399
Sure, baby.
778
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,559
I want you to stop making up
lies about kicking my ass
779
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,039
or I'm gonna have
to set you straight.
780
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,359
Sure, sure, sure.
781
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,199
I'll see you around.
782
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,010
Becky,
you be having great summer.
783
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,559
I was one inch away
784
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,919
from knocking that guy out,
and I swear to God.
785
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:31,999
No, you weren't.
786
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,639
This is grown-up talk,
787
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,085
so butt out!
788
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:36,801
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
789
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,479
That's insane!
What did you say to him?
790
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,239
I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh, you
speak to me like that again"
791
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,279
"in front of my wife and kid, I will
brush your teeth with a brick."
792
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,479
No, you didn't.
You just yelled at me.
793
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,479
- I don't yell at you!
- Calm down.
794
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:50,759
No, I'm just saying.
795
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,125
You guys were in the bathroom.
796
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,359
Look who's here, everybody.
797
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,319
20 VOSS waters, right?
798
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,279
- That's how they do it in Hollyweird.
- I don't know.
799
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,602
We haven't lived there in, what,
10 months now or something?
800
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,199
As a matter of fact, our son
starts work here tonight.
801
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,799
I know. I heard you
brown-nosed Mr. Pappas
802
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,199
and now Showbiz
Junior's got a job.
803
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,799
I used to scoop cones here,
and why shouldn't he?
804
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,643
It's a great
first job for a kid.
805
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,367
Or lifetime job.
806
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,319
Okay, what are we having?
807
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,481
Becky, what do you want, hon?
808
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,119
Can I have the soft
chocolate cup, please?
809
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,851
Here's a word you
probably never heard, no.
810
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:29,291
The machine's busted, princess.
811
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,604
Aw, bummer, it's broken?
Like all your dreams?
812
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,642
You know what, it's easy to fix.
I can help you with that.
813
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,159
What do you know about fixing
ice cream machines, Higgins?
814
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,439
Uh, I went to DeVry for a year.
815
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:41,487
Oh, that's right.
816
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:42,799
I can fix anything with a plug.
817
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:43,999
Including your hair?
818
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,401
That's not true. I don't even
know how that got started.
819
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,159
That's, like, people are
saying that around town.
820
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,359
I'll walk you through it.
821
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,679
You just walk up, climb up the
machine, lean over the back.
822
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,399
Can't believe I'm
listening to this idiot.
823
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:54,479
Listen to the man.
824
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:55,679
MARCUS:
You're gonna see
825
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:56,799
two pipes coming into the top.
826
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,519
Yes!
In between them,
827
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,999
there's gonna be
a silver button.
828
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,079
Hit it a little bit.
829
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,199
Push hard.
830
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,009
No. Hit it with your fist.
831
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,839
Yeah, just push the button.
832
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,519
I got it.
There we go! (LAUGHING)
833
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,010
I think we're
getting somewhere.
834
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,199
Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...
(ALL EXCLAIM IN DISGUST)
835
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,281
Force it. That's it.
836
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,679
Hey! Why is Dickie crapping
all over the ice cream stand?
837
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:18,680
What'd she say?
838
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,807
Nothing! Nothing!
839
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:20,967
Go! Just go!
840
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:22,879
(SPURTING NOISES)
841
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,039
SALLY:
Go, Dickie!
842
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,039
That's where ice
cream comes from?
843
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:34,400
And so we've reached the end
of another school year.
844
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,879
Froot Loop?
845
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,959
Ten months
846
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,999
of learning, growth
847
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,799
and, yes, hopefully,
848
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,962
a little bit of fun.
849
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:50,404
But the journey we began
together, in September,
850
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,079
does not end today.
851
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,119
For education is a process
852
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,603
that does not begin and end
on some set schedule...
853
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:05,050
Please let me finish.
Return to your seats.
854
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:07,239
(LAUGHING)
855
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:08,399
Damn you!
856
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,959
Every year, you do this to me!
857
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,679
And this was my favorite shirt
from when I was 12!
858
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,479
How you doing, sophomore?
859
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,959
Not bad, sophomore.
860
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:17,961
Come here!
861
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,599
Hey, you're not a statue.
862
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,119
You're an ass-tue.
(CHUCKLES)
863
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:31,849
Doesn't even make any sense.
864
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,166
Shut up!
865
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,279
What? What? What?
866
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,045
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
867
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,759
What's up, man?
868
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:46,841
Your dad picking you up?
869
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:49,639
Uh, I don't know.
870
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,959
I told him it'd be cool if he
stayed late at the soup kitchen,
871
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,799
so it's on me.
872
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,326
Well, you can come on the bus
with us, if you want.
873
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,408
Nah, how about we
do something fun?
874
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,369
How about we do something
we're not supposed to?
875
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,839
"Keep out."
876
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,320
That just makes me
want to not keep out.
877
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,639
Heard our dads used to come
swimming here, back in the day.
878
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,690
They claim to be all squeaky
clean, but I think they were nuts.
879
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:19,521
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
880
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,764
(KIDS CHATTERING AND CHEERING)
881
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,999
College kids.
882
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,684
We better go.
883
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:33,402
No go.
884
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:34,851
Stay.
885
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:42,841
Whoo!
886
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,089
He's nuts.
887
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,359
Let's go.
888
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,519
Hey!
889
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,965
Where are you guys going?
890
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,890
Join the party.
891
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,363
Here. One and two.
892
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,079
Are you guys freshmen?
893
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,879
No. We're seniors.
894
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,519
We just became seniors,
like, 20 minutes ago.
895
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,759
Not high school seniors,
college seniors.
896
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,399
(GASPS)
Wait a minute!
897
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,199
I remember you guys.
898
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,039
You're Scully.
899
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,008
You're Boomer.
900
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,319
Come here.
901
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,839
I love you guys so much.
902
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,046
I love you, too.
903
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,439
Girl, I love you more.
904
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,039
I'm gonna go.
905
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,042
Whoo! Body shots!
906
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,159
No go.
907
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,160
Stay.
908
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,719
Okay, okay. But what
about these beers, man?
909
00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:31,400
If we don't drink them,
they'll be onto us,
910
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,001
and I'm not sure I'm
ready for beer yet.
911
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,079
Wait, let's just dump them
when no one's looking,
912
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,319
then act like we're drunk.
913
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,799
Okay. Good idea.
914
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,484
All right, let's go.
915
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:44,961
(LAUGHING)
916
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,919
Summertime.
917
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,919
You're sure you want to do this, big man?
No shame in backing down.
918
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:51,959
- Really?
- Come on!
919
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,079
Come on.
920
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,839
It's a lifelong shame.
921
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,399
You're finally doing
Suicide 35. It's a big day.
922
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,599
What are you scared of, man?
923
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,599
You're the "rope from the tree,
triple flip, bird-crush" guy.
924
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,999
I'm not scared of this.
In the past, I did it before.
925
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,159
But I'll do it right now.
926
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,161
Sure. Sure. Go ahead.
927
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,328
- MARCUS: Do it. Do it.
- ERIC: Whoa.
928
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,799
But the thing is this,
I just...
929
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,439
late about 45 minutes ago.
930
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:14,759
What did you eat?
931
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,119
I had chicken chow mein.
932
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,929
Chicken chow mein? When did...
933
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,519
We were with you
the whole time!
934
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,359
Yeah. You didn't see it?
They had it at Kmart.
935
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:22,759
They have chicken chow...
Oh, get out of here.
936
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,119
It's good there. Yeah.
It's very good.
937
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,406
What do I hear right now?
938
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:27,959
Look at this.
939
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,879
Beers on ice.
Hot ladies everywhere.
940
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,079
This is how we used to do it.
941
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,366
This is howl
still do it, buddy.
942
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:36,839
He does still do it that way.
943
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,171
Well, you should stop.
944
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,319
This is Kappa
Eta Sigma property.
945
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,479
(ALL BARK)
946
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:44,039
So you might want to quit
perving on our ladies
947
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,119
and get back to your trailer homes.
(CHUCKLE)
948
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,479
Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.
949
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,079
I think it's...
950
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,039
I think we've been around
a little longer than you.
951
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,719
Been swimming here
since we were eight years old,
952
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:55,484
so you can calm
down a little bit.
953
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,290
I'm sure it was the bomb!
954
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,519
Cranking your Al Jolson tunes
on your transistor radio.
955
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,568
But it's the 21st century now.
956
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,639
And Thicky-Thick
and the Flabby Bunch
957
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,679
should never take
their shirts off again.
958
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:07,681
That hurts.
959
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:08,839
Okay,
I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.
960
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,959
Yeah, well, I don't like being
in the Flabby Bunch, either.
961
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,566
Boom! That just happened.
962
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,519
I haven't been around this many
arrogant white college kids
963
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,119
since Eminem played Duke.
964
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,639
There it goes. And then...
965
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:20,879
Boom!
966
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,519
That just happened.
How was that?
967
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,251
At least we got into college,
skinny Danny Glover.
968
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:26,361
(LAUGHING MOCKINGLY)
969
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,325
(GRUNTING)
970
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,080
Long handjob.
That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
971
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,719
I think it's over.
972
00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,359
Hey, hey, hey!
What, what, what?
973
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:41,566
What?
974
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,399
And a little extra right there.
975
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,961
Hey, fellows,
that was a good handshake.
976
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,519
We got a good one, too.
It goes like this.
977
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,199
- Okay, here we go.
- Oh, how you doing, sir?
978
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,079
- Nice to see you.
- Very good, sir.
979
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,599
- Beautiful day.
- Yeah, at least we're not stuck
980
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:56,239
in some crap town like this, hanging
up drywall for the rest of our lives.
981
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:57,919
Bay-oom!
982
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,319
Hanging drywall?
First of all,
983
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,799
I'll have you know
that I own pretty much
984
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,879
the greatest auto body shop
in town, all right?
985
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,799
This guy works for
the cable company.
986
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,079
Free cable for life.
987
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,279
What?
988
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,759
Over here, you know Higgins?
989
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,161
That's right, he works part-time
down at the go-kart track.
990
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,601
Oh, so he was highballing
you with the drywall.
991
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:16,850
BOTH:
Boom!
992
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:18,439
(CHUCKLING)
993
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,010
This just got real.
994
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,201
Real stupid?
What happened?
995
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,401
Something's real.
996
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:30,119
(SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
997
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,167
Yeah...
998
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,399
Dougie, Dougie...
999
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,919
Are you guys as wasted as us?
1000
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,810
BOTH: Hells, yeah!
All the time!
1001
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,359
Yo, we're gonna let you guys continue
your Klan meeting in a minute.
1002
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,840
He's just gonna jump off of
here, and then we'll leave.
1003
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,439
I can't permit that.
1004
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,199
I can't permit it!
1005
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,159
Can't permit it.
1006
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,084
You guys have ruined
our celebration by being here.
1007
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,599
Look at my hands, huh?
1008
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,039
They're shaking, I'm so mad.
1009
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,644
Yeah,
look, my brother's shaking.
1010
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,439
LENNY: Wha... Wha...
Whoa, whoa.
1011
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,359
- That was a cool move.
- Now, listen to me.
1012
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,279
I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.
1013
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,719
But I need, like, 11 to 15
minutes to stretch out, okay?
1014
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:12,959
I got to stretch.
It's overlooked.
1015
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,559
No, I understand.
1016
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,279
I can't fight these kids.
I'm skinny Danny Glover.
1017
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:18,123
Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips
1018
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,123
behind you for
some unknown reason.
1019
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:25,039
We got kids,
we can't afford to do this.
1020
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,799
Buddy, dude, you don't have
to do that last flip.
1021
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,999
Don't, like, get hurt.
1022
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,279
We'll come back another time.
1023
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:31,639
You will come back never!
1024
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,799
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!
(BOTH BARK)
1025
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,159
Dude,
why are you acting so crazy?
1026
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,050
Did Betty White
just call you crazy?
1027
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,359
Did he just call you Betty White?
Betty White?
1028
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,439
That's pretty funny.
1029
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,805
We've got a situation!
1030
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,167
(ALL WHOOPING)
1031
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,599
You know what?
Hey, guys? Guys?
1032
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,319
- LENNY: Hey, what's up, guys?
- ERIC: Let's get out of here.
1033
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,519
MARCUS: Listen,
it's nice to meet everybody.
1034
00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,567
We're gonna take off,
but let's do this again.
1035
00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:00,839
Take care, guys.
1036
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,239
- Enjoy yourself.
- Not that way.
1037
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,561
Oh, is there an elevator?
1038
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,969
That way.
1039
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,531
Oh, come on, are you serious?
You gonna make us jump?
1040
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,002
Naked.
1041
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,999
Asshole.
1042
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,001
(SCREAMING)
1043
00:43:21,720 --> 00:43:22,721
CROWD:
Oh!
1044
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:24,401
(SCREAMS)
1045
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,811
You guys are losers.
(SCREAMS)
1046
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:32,400
CROWD:
Oh!
1047
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:35,521
(SHRIEKING)
1048
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,206
Don't worry, it gets bigger.
1049
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:39,481
Ahh!
1050
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:40,881
Whoa!
1051
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,199
CROWD:
Oh!
1052
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,168
That poor old lady!
1053
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,439
Ahh! Ah ha ha!
1054
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,999
I'm paralyzed!
1055
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,359
I'm in so much pain!
1056
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,249
Mama!
1057
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,399
No!
1058
00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,401
CROWD:
Oh!
1059
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:02,201
(COUGHS)
1060
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,249
I was inside you!
1061
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:16,639
I can't believe nobody's even
scared of a black guy anymore!
1062
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,839
Damn you, Obama!
1063
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,959
What the hell just happened?
1064
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,566
I saw my dad's dick.
1065
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:27,601
(SHUDDERS)
1066
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,799
Well, the good news is Lamonsoff
finally did the jump for real.
1067
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,007
And the bad news is
he landed on my face.
1068
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,239
What are you,
made of rocks, dude?
1069
00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:52,759
Check this out, feel this.
I'm not kidding you.
1070
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,119
Right up here.
1071
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,159
I think even higher.
1072
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,239
- Feel that.
- And?
1073
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,479
Put your hand right there.
1074
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,279
Feel the other one.
Those are my balls.
1075
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,199
I'm not kidding you,
they went way up in there.
1076
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:02,439
You're getting me turned on.
1077
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,599
Are you kidding me?
1078
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:05,719
What?
1079
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:07,119
They slashed our tires!
1080
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,531
These kids won't
stop abusing us!
1081
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:09,766
LENNY:
Damn you!
1082
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,039
This wasn't college kids.
1083
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,646
It was my son, Satan.
1084
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,199
And why is this kid so angry?
1085
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,170
His mom hiccupped a lot, but
she was happy! And hot.
1086
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,479
If she's so hot,
1087
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,239
why don't you make her
your late-night booty call?
1088
00:45:26,240 --> 00:45:28,766
Oh, Beefcakes!
Come on, baby!
1089
00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:31,129
(YELLING IN ANGER)
1090
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,879
You've been sneaking around with Fabio?
(LAUGHING)
1091
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,399
It's not funny, dude! She's gonna
kick the crap out of me later!
1092
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,599
ERIC:
Wow.
1093
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,159
Wow.
1094
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,360
A little
five-hour Energy, huh?
1095
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:42,481
Yeah.
1096
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:45,959
500-hour Energy?
1097
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,479
I drink it for the taste, okay?
1098
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,563
Oh, my God, you gonna jog
to Florida after this?
1099
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,684
(BURPSNARTS)
1100
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,359
BOTH:
Oh!
1101
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:55,361
No!
1102
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:56,759
A bonus!
1103
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,599
Come on,
just cram yourself in there.
1104
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,679
My body, it's just too big for this thing.
I can't fit.
1105
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,999
Higgins, dummy, hop in
this thing for a minute.
1106
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,081
For what?
1107
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,359
Just get in the tire.
1108
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,359
- No way! In there?
- Five yards we'll roll you.
1109
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,799
We've done it. I would do
it if I could get in there.
1110
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,519
This is peer pressure,
you're bullying.
1111
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,159
And I promise you
I'll stop you and I love you.
1112
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,319
Don't let him do it.
He's jacked up on juice.
1113
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,439
And a-one, and a-two...
1114
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:20,519
Mommy's got you.
1115
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:21,599
...and a-three!
1116
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:22,681
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1117
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,359
MARCUS: Okay, five feet.
Grab me. Y'ello.
1118
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,039
- Lenny!
- Hey, Keithie.
1119
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,319
Meet me at the football field,
but don't tell your mother.
1120
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,039
Why am I still rolling?
1121
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,719
- Lenny!
- Oops.
1122
00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:33,439
MARCUS:
Help!
1123
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,159
Guys. Get me!
1124
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:36,241
LENNY:
Hang in there!
1125
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,559
MARCUS:
I'm going downhill!
1126
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:38,719
Lenny! No! No!
1127
00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,319
(HORNS HONKING)
1128
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,971
When will it end?
1129
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:46,399
(YELPING)
1130
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:47,519
(WAILING)
1131
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,285
Oh, yeah.
Summer is here, man!
1132
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:53,091
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
1133
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,203
MARCUS:
Help! Stop! No!
1134
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,159
(EXCLAIMS IN ALARM)
1135
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,239
Tire on the loose!
1136
00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:03,730
Fluzoo, shotgun, now!
1137
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:05,767
(SIREN WAILING)
1138
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:07,919
MARCUS:
Someone!
1139
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,570
Higgins is in the tire!
1140
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,079
Of course.
1141
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,759
- Help!
- LENNY: Get there!
1142
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,319
Help!
1143
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:15,399
Liar!
1144
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,401
No, no, baby!
1145
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,848
No! No! Someone!
1146
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:22,445
(GRUNTING IN PAIN)
1147
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:26,041
Ahh! Ahh!
1148
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,079
(HIGGINS YELLING)
1149
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,162
Show's over, tire.
1150
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:34,961
MARCUS:
Ow!
1151
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,211
(VOMITING)
1152
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:47,399
I'm next.
1153
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,119
- I got next!
- No, I'm next!
1154
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:50,963
(ALL ARGUING)
1155
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,239
It's my tire! My turn!
1156
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,079
Hey!
1157
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,809
What happened?
1158
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:58,526
I got a phone call.
1159
00:47:58,720 --> 00:47:59,721
Oh.
1160
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:02,599
Okay. I forgive you.
1161
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,879
Was it
long-distance or something?
1162
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,919
Don't want to kick a guy
while he's down, Higgins,
1163
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,127
but we caught your son
with a can of spray paint
1164
00:48:09,240 --> 00:48:11,279
looking like he
was up to no good.
1165
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,959
You lied about the soup.
1166
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,406
You lied about the soup!
1167
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:35,369
We are gonna find
those fartheads,
1168
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,127
and we are gonna kill them.
1169
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,999
Kill!
1170
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,641
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1171
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,639
No, guys! Not each other!
1172
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,450
We're not killing each other!
1173
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,639
K-E-I-T
1174
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,519
H-I-E.
1175
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,759
Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!
Whoo! Uh-huh!
1176
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:05,199
It's a practice, Donna.
You don't have to go full speed.
1177
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:06,519
Sorry, Mr. Feder.
1178
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:07,719
It's fine!
1179
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:10,200
Hey, look at these
giant mooses out there.
1180
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:11,964
(ALL GRUNTING)
1181
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:15,879
You don't want to get
in the middle of all that.
1182
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,644
Plus, the kicker,
honestly, is like,
1183
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,444
one of the most
important guys on the team
1184
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:20,971
and you don't have
to worry about getting
1185
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:22,559
your head bashed in every play.
1186
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,559
(SIGHS) I get it, Dad.
I'm a wimp.
1187
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:25,719
You're not a wimp.
1188
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:26,999
It's just common sense.
1189
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,843
Avoid big idiots
trying to hurt you.
1190
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:30,805
I was trying to
avoid a big idiot
1191
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,399
trying to hurt me on
the bus this morning,
1192
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:33,799
but he wouldn't leave me alone.
1193
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,799
Well, sometimes they
won't let you avoid them,
1194
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,399
and you just... You can't back
down in those situations.
1195
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,439
I'm telling you,
I've backed down a few times,
1196
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:41,639
it's not a good feeling.
1197
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,599
All right, look, let's just
kick a few field goals.
1198
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,359
It's like soccer,
which you're great at.
1199
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,204
All you got to do is put your
foot right through the ball.
1200
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:52,439
- Whoo!
- What?
1201
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:53,646
Touchdown! Yeah!
1202
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,439
Yeah!
1203
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,522
That's ridiculous!
Your first try?
1204
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,679
All right,
we're backing up, boy.
1205
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,319
That was totally awesome, Keithie!
That was so cool!
1206
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,607
That was just, like, awesome!
1207
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:06,639
Okay, drive through the ball.
1208
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,210
Drive through the ball.
1209
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:11,327
It's up!
1210
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,439
Whoo! Yeah!
Whoo! Go, Keithie!
1211
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,479
LENNY: Yes! What did you
eat this morning?
1212
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:21,199
All right, this is starting to
get into, like, college level.
1213
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:22,719
From the 30!
1214
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:24,404
Who the hell is this kid?
1215
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,286
(BOTH YELLING AND LAUGHING)
1216
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,959
Oh, my God!
1217
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:33,599
♪ Stop! Keithie time! ♪
1218
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,799
♪ Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! ♪
1219
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,119
I'm starting to think
she has a little crush on you.
1220
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,279
Really?
1221
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,919
Either that or she got bit
by a poisonous spider.
1222
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,002
Keithie! Whoo!
1223
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:47,645
All right, let's see how you do
1224
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,239
in a real game situation,
though.
1225
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:51,759
Okay? Let's
pretend I'm a linebacker,
1226
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,479
and I'm gonna come at you
and try and block it.
1227
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:54,559
Okay.
1228
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:55,891
Set!
1229
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,079
Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker!
1230
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:00,080
Give me that football!
1231
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:01,161
(GRUNTS)
1232
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:02,639
(BOTH GRUNT)
(BONE CRACKING)
1233
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,399
Oh, my leg!
1234
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:05,719
Keithie!
1235
00:51:05,720 --> 00:51:07,799
Don't tell your mother!
1236
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,804
All right, that kid's dead.
Back to work.
1237
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:11,999
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
1238
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,519
Now, you remember how to do
a five-point turn, right?
1239
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:15,679
Yeah.
1240
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,639
- Parallel park?
- Yeah, yeah.
1241
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,759
Hey, don't "yeah,
yeah" me, dumb-ass.
1242
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:21,319
You're precious cargo.
1243
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,200
Now, if you mess around
and get yourself killed,
1244
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:24,319
I'm gonna have to kill you.
1245
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,004
Look, Dad, I'm ready
for this, all right?
1246
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,450
You're late.
1247
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:31,999
Hello, McKenzie.
1248
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:33,684
Hey, Wiley, how you feeling?
1249
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,999
Oh, just two years of this.
1250
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,083
And I still only have
40% feeling in my body.
1251
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,199
Otherwise, I'm fine.
1252
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,999
No, Rihanna's fine.
1253
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,525
You just teach driver's ed.
1254
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,199
Get her done, son!
1255
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,479
And remember
everything we talked about!
1256
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:52,799
Defensive driving!
1257
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:53,999
Stop at all yellows!
1258
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,079
Obey the laws!
1259
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:56,199
(HORN HONKING)
1260
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,361
DRIVER 1:
You moron!
1261
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:58,646
DRIVER 2:
Look out!
1262
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,684
Be safe!
Don't do what I just did!
1263
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,719
MARCUS: Hey, officers,
you guys want to stick around
1264
00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:06,479
and have a drink with me,
hang out a little bit?
1265
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:07,680
You're afraid of us leaving you
1266
00:52:07,720 --> 00:52:08,839
alone with your son,
aren't you?
1267
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,959
My son... Are you
kidding me? I don't care...
1268
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:11,961
Boo!
1269
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:13,081
He's got a knife!
1270
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:16,919
That sounds dangerous.
How far was the drop?
1271
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:18,879
Just 35 feet.
1272
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,439
Who do you think
you are, Tarzan?
1273
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,399
- It's no big deal.
- Honey?
1274
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,239
Hi,
(STAMMERING) Sally.
1275
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,004
Hi, honey.
I... No, I just came to see
1276
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,279
if Mommy was alive.
1277
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:29,879
And looking now,
1278
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,239
she's breathing, she's good.
1279
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:32,844
Hi. What are you doing here?
1280
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,079
I was bringing your mother
a new fan for the summer.
1281
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,399
- That's good.
- You said you couldn't
1282
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,959
get coffee with
me because you had
1283
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,919
a 3:30 appointment
with a Mr. Renaldo.
1284
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:42,239
Hello, ladies!
1285
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:43,919
You!
1286
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:44,999
Can't be!
1287
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,319
We killed you. Last week.
1288
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,839
You actually think
two amateurish nitwits
1289
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,083
could kill The Great Renaldo?
1290
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:55,839
I told you.
1291
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,923
You did. You called it.
1292
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,005
So the leg's not
really broken, huh?
1293
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,639
No, it is broken, right here.
1294
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,399
Just a hairline fracture,
though.
1295
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,239
No, it's a clean break.
1296
00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:14,759
Slight, though.
1297
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,399
Slight?
No. It's broken.
1298
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,159
Broken-broken or just broken?
1299
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,799
It's a broken leg.
1300
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:26,479
What was once one bone
is now two half-bones.
1301
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:27,679
Right.
1302
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:32,288
Is there anything you can do
about my wife staring at me?
1303
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,799
No, I'm not a psychiatrist.
1304
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,439
So you're saying
my wife is crazy?
1305
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,079
No, no. I was joking.
1306
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,959
Like you were when you said
his leg is broken.
1307
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:43,679
Look, your son
1308
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,999
is going to be wearing
that cast the entire summer.
1309
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,959
If you don't mind,
I haven't slept in 68 hours.
1310
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,319
So you're a little
loopy from lack of sleep,
1311
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:54,890
and that really
isn't my son's bone.
1312
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,999
That's a piece of
celery you snapped.
1313
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,039
- ROXANNE: Lenny!
- Yes?
1314
00:53:58,040 --> 00:53:59,639
The leg is broken!
1315
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:03,199
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
1316
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:04,999
You can't undo this,
1317
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,319
and you lied to me,
so you're gonna pay for it.
1318
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:12,999
Doctor, wouldn't it be nice
if there was a cure for anger?
1319
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,159
There is.
1320
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,844
It's called Jack Daniel's.
1321
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:18,519
Another one of your jokes, huh?
1322
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,010
I wish.
1323
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,921
WILEY: Okay, the light is red
now, so just remain stopped.
1324
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,045
Scully, is that you?
1325
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,166
Scully!
1326
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,679
Hey, what's up, fellas?
1327
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,199
Are you taking your
driver's test drunk?
1328
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,359
Yeah, I'm MC Hammered!
1329
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,079
Oh! You're a madman!
Psychopath, man!
1330
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:44,159
Hey, Scully, Scully.
1331
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,479
Have you seen those old townies
from the quarry today?
1332
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,559
No, I can't say I did. Why?
1333
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:51,719
They
disrespected our frat house!
1334
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:53,319
Man, they disrespected
the crap out of it!
1335
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:54,890
Oh, no, can't have that.
1336
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:58,519
Brewski time, dude!
1337
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,039
It's not for you, Scully.
1338
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,879
It's for that freak
in the hat next to you.
1339
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:03,079
Looks like he needs it.
1340
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:04,159
- Boom!
- Yeah!
1341
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:05,559
That just happened!
1342
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,688
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1343
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:13,486
Taking your driver's
test while intoxicated?
1344
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,447
Minus five points.
1345
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,644
This is ridiculous!
1346
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:31,439
I've wasted an entire day waiting
for this idiot to show up.
1347
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,199
Did you tell him your son-in-law
works for the cable company?
1348
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,079
A fat lot of good being related
to that bozo would do me.
1349
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:41,119
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
1350
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,690
Love to the children.
1351
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,525
Yes. Yes.
1352
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,439
Damn it, I just sat down.
1353
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,599
I'll be right out there!
1354
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:02,759
Hang on!
1355
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,439
I'm coming as quick as I can.
1356
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,283
I got bunions, damn it!
1357
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:12,281
(ENGINE STARTING)
1358
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,039
No! No!
1359
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,122
(MACKENZIE LAUGHING)
You burn in hell!
1360
00:56:18,240 --> 00:56:20,119
You cable-installing mother...
1361
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:21,485
Oh, damn it!
1362
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:31,639
Look, man,
1363
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,959
I know deadbeat dads
always have lame excuses
1364
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,239
why they don't see their kids,
1365
00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:39,759
but "I didn't know you existed
till about a week ago"
1366
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:41,879
is actually a fantastic excuse.
1367
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,479
So can you cut me some slack?
1368
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,319
Her name's not Hiccups McGee.
1369
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,119
Yeah, I know that.
1370
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,724
So why do you call her that?
1371
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,439
No, that's just...
It's stupid.
1372
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:55,319
It's just kind of
a nickname I give people that,
1373
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,839
you know, have a distinct
trait or physical feature.
1374
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:02,399
Like, if someone had big lips,
you'd call them Lippy McGee.
1375
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,999
And if they sneezed a lot,
you'd call them Sneezy McGee.
1376
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,999
Oh, so you'd be Ugly McGee.
1377
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,162
I'd be Ugly McGee.
Exactly.
1378
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:11,639
Shorty McGee.
1379
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:12,679
Shorty McGee, sure.
1380
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:13,999
Viagra McGee.
1381
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,440
Right, right.
You get it, you get it.
1382
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,519
Listen, man,
1383
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,091
I'm willing to give
this a try if you are.
1384
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:24,451
You know what they say... Yesterday's
history, tomorrow's a mystery.
1385
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,681
Maybe we go inside
and search the Internet
1386
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,247
for funny videos of
squirrels waterskiing.
1387
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:34,531
(IMITATING A SQUIRREL)
1388
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,927
Okay, we're getting somewhere.
1389
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,359
ERIC: I'm sorry I lied
about the appointment.
1390
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,479
The lying's not the worst part.
1391
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,639
You hid from me at your
mother's house, Eric.
1392
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:51,039
Who does that?
1393
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,565
Look, she's nice to me.
1394
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:55,119
You know,
she always takes my side,
1395
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,044
worries if I'm eating enough
and taking my vitamins.
1396
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,208
I do all that stuff, too, Eric.
1397
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,519
Okay, I don't.
1398
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:03,879
You're right.
1399
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:05,559
You know, there's only
so many hours in a day,
1400
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,239
and I'm always
running around the kids,
1401
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,288
and I guess I
leave you out a lot,
1402
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,719
and I'm really gonna try harder
to make you feel special,
1403
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,559
'cause you always make me feel
like the only girl in the world.
1404
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,959
I feel bad.
1405
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,279
Don't feel bad.
1406
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,799
No, I do,
because today at the recital,
1407
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:26,124
I couldn't stop
looking at Becky's teacher.
1408
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:27,969
I don't mind you looking.
1409
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,122
I really don't.
Everybody looks.
1410
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,639
(SIGHS)
I was looking today.
1411
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,599
And I'm totally fine with that.
1412
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:37,119
As long as he was gay,
dead or a cartoon.
1413
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:38,610
- Gay.
- Okay.
1414
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:41,047
But no matter who
or what we look at,
1415
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:43,407
we'll always come back
to each other, right?
1416
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:46,851
Car wash!
Car wash! Whoo!
1417
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:48,479
- Support our team!
- I'll prove it to you!
1418
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,599
Car wash!
1419
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:51,840
What are you doing?
1420
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:53,200
No, no, you're gonna like this.
1421
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:54,767
Hi, girls!
1422
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:58,489
ERIC:
Come on.
1423
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,279
Honey,
you don't have to do this.
1424
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:03,319
I want to.
1425
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,279
Hi, girls!
1426
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,279
Wash it up extra soapy!
1427
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,279
You got it.
(HORN HONKING)
1428
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,639
Oh, wait, hang on. There's a
car just in front of you.
1429
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,719
Better do them first.
1430
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:13,839
Yo, got a customer!
1431
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,479
You take these guys,
we'll take the yellow car.
1432
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,528
Extra soapy.
1433
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,609
Oh, what is
happening right now?
1434
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:30,166
I swear, I didn't plan this.
1435
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,799
No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good.
I'm good, thank you.
1436
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,007
Well, I might as
well enjoy this.
1437
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,359
Why is this never-ending?
1438
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:27,330
At least the guys in the car
in front of us are having fun.
1439
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,319
What are you doing?
Get in there!
1440
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:43,651
Let me do it.
1441
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,439
LENNY:
Okay, everybody.
1442
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,319
It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.
There were some downs.
1443
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,119
Sorry about the leg.
1444
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,639
The good news is
1445
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:00,688
the children got through
another year of school.
1446
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:01,919
Fabulously.
1447
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,919
You got older, even though I
told you not to. Especially you.
1448
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:06,759
Stay young. Don't leave me.
1449
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:10,239
You prepared us your famous
chicken à la food poisoning,
1450
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:11,599
which we're all excited to eat.
1451
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,119
(LAUGHING)
I'm just kidding.
1452
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,439
But the greatest thing is, it's
my favorite part of the day
1453
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:17,639
with my four best friends.
1454
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:18,926
To the Feders!
1455
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:20,081
(ALL CHEER)
1456
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:23,679
So Bumpty asked me
out for ice cream today.
1457
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:27,919
I "went out for ice cream"
once with your dad.
1458
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:31,129
Nine months later,
Andre popped out.
1459
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:36,479
This is the best
vanilla pudding I've ever had.
1460
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,767
That's butter, son.
1461
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:42,439
Here you go.
1462
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:43,726
Oh, hey.
1463
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,119
Want me to come in
and feed it to you
1464
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,279
like I did the last time?
1465
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,521
No, no. I got my kid here.
1466
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:50,799
That wouldn't be cool.
1467
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,279
You said you loved me!
1468
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:54,281
(SIGHS)
1469
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:56,284
They're not all tens, buddy.
1470
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:57,441
(STATIC BUZZING)
1471
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,359
Homeboy, why aren't you eating?
1472
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,119
I saw something today
that made me lose my appetite.
1473
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,851
What was it, me naked?
1474
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,319
What?
1475
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:12,959
What's a burpsmart?
1476
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,159
Burpsnorp?
1477
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:15,719
A burpsnart!
1478
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:18,999
Basically, he burps, sneezes
and farts at the same time.
1479
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:20,119
He goes...
1480
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:23,761
(BURPSNARTS)
1481
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:25,771
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1482
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,479
I think I just shat myself.
1483
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:31,319
Hey, honey, what time's
that Feder bash tonight?
1484
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:33,039
What?
1485
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:34,239
It's paint.
1486
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:35,719
It doesn't come off.
1487
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:38,159
I thought it might be fun
to have a theme, no?
1488
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:39,446
A theme?
1489
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:40,839
Roxanne decided the theme is...
1490
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,759
The '80s?
1491
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:46,808
That was 70 years ago.
1492
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,999
I thought we could
go as Hall & Oates.
1493
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:52,000
Hall & Oates?
1494
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:53,199
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1495
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,079
What is that, like a cereal?
1496
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,599
No.
1497
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:58,045
Why don't you
ask Nancy Arbuckle
1498
01:02:58,200 --> 01:02:59,679
to come by for
the get-together?
1499
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,639
Or do you prefer
the imaginary shower version?
1500
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:03,641
(CHUCKLING)
1501
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:05,161
(SCREAMS)
1502
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,839
You know what, Charlotte?
I trust you,
1503
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,599
and I want you to
have fun tonight.
1504
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:11,039
Really.
1505
01:03:11,040 --> 01:03:12,041
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1506
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:16,885
What's up, player?
I'm here for your daughter.
1507
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:23,207
What...
1508
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:25,891
Used to get 10 cases
of beer for my parties,
1509
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,571
now I get 10
cases of juice boxes.
1510
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,479
Hey, Beckster.
1511
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,239
- Hey, Stud Muffin.
- Hey.
1512
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,639
Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,
so I call him Stud Muffin.
1513
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:36,759
Is that right?
1514
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:39,399
You must be Roxanne's husband.
I'm Kyle.
1515
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,719
How do you know my wife
again there, Mud Stuffing?
1516
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:43,639
I worked her out this morning.
1517
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:44,719
Oh, really?
1518
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:47,326
I worked her out this morning,
too, pretty good.
1519
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:48,919
All right.
1520
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:50,919
Hi.
1521
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,119
What's up?
1522
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:53,759
This is awkward.
1523
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,919
My husband's here.
1524
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:57,639
Why is that awkward?
1525
01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,399
Why?
1526
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:01,129
Well, let me give you a hint.
1527
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:04,879
You have brain damage?
1528
01:04:04,880 --> 01:04:05,881
(LAUGHS)
1529
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,439
I think we both know
what time it is, don't we?
1530
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:10,839
What time is it?
1531
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:12,919
Oh, nothing.
1532
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:16,839
It's just...
Just time to...
1533
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,524
(WHISPERS)
Help me out here.
1534
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:21,639
I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.
1535
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,599
Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do?
1536
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:24,679
Did he pass his test?
1537
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,199
He squeaked by.
1538
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,399
We didn't check out
any soapy cheerleaders.
1539
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,159
What's going on
with you and my wife?
1540
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:31,239
I'm gonna go.
1541
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:32,571
Actually, why don't we all
go our separate ways.
1542
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:34,999
I don't see any of these
conversations working out for me.
1543
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:36,439
- Adios.
- I'll see you tonight.
1544
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:37,479
Hey.
1545
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:38,641
I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.
1546
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:40,719
What?
1547
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:42,839
Yeah, party
tonight '80s-style, huh?
1548
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:44,719
Rocky III.
1549
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:45,801
Wiley!
1550
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:46,967
Okay.
1551
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,764
Hey, babe.
1552
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:51,966
What does Penny's note say?
1553
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:54,967
Uh...
1554
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,159
She wrote,
"Mayonnaise, zitis..."
1555
01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:59,400
The other side.
1556
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:04,639
"Meet me by your
mailbox at 11:00."
1557
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,007
Why would I meet her
by my mailbox at 11:00?
1558
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:14,399
You have any idea
what just happened there?
1559
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,759
Not a clue.
1560
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,239
DICKIE: I don't care who
your parents are.
1561
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:19,919
You screw up, I fire you.
1562
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,119
It's all good.
1563
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:23,239
"It's all good"?
1564
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:25,559
It's a family restaurant,
not a rap show.
1565
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:27,199
It's all bad?
1566
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,159
That's right, it is.
1567
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:30,525
You got a customer.
1568
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,679
I'm sorry. Welcome to
the Ice Cream House.
1569
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,399
Hi, Greg.
1570
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:37,279
Nancy, hi.
1571
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:40,119
I think you crushed your cones.
1572
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:41,359
Oh, no.
1573
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:42,839
That was a...
That was a squeeze test.
1574
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,519
These cones failed.
1575
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:47,159
We're gonna try cardboard cones next.
(LAUGHS)
1576
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:48,241
You're smiling.
1577
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,359
And number two.
1578
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:52,439
You have such a nice smile.
1579
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,199
Thanks.
1580
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,199
Go out with me tonight before
your friends say I'm fugly.
1581
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,359
Tonight?
1582
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:00,441
Sure.
1583
01:06:00,560 --> 01:06:02,642
No freaking way.
1584
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,959
Your father used to do
that same three-step crap
1585
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:08,291
when we were growing up.
1586
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,719
It always worked then.
1587
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,529
Even on my wife.
1588
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:18,559
I ain't no boy with
a mind you can toy,
1589
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:21,559
'cause if this is a ploy,
I'll destroy Illinois.
1590
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:24,399
It is so amazing how you can
freestyle like that.
1591
01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:27,370
I been laying it down
truthful since day one.
1592
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:28,811
(IMITATING A TURNTABLE)
1593
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:33,479
Well, I sing sometimes, too,
1594
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:35,608
but only, like, in the shower.
1595
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,759
I'm scared to sing in
front of other people.
1596
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,839
If you scared,
that means you don't got it.
1597
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:44,322
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.
I'm hard-core.
1598
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:47,765
(RIBBITING)
1599
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,484
Dinosaur!
1600
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,599
How long ago was the '80s?
1601
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,439
That was way back in the 1900s.
1602
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:57,719
We learned about it in school.
1603
01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:58,839
It was wack.
1604
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:01,919
The phones had long, curly
things coming out of the end.
1605
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,639
You had to watch commercials.
1606
01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:04,799
No way.
1607
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:06,131
Isn't that right, Bowser?
1608
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:10,039
How we doing?
1609
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:12,439
Hey, Dad, why do we have to
wear costumes and you don't?
1610
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:13,879
I am wearing a costume.
1611
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,611
Bruce Springsteen,
Born in the U.S.A.
1612
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:19,399
Who's Bruce Springsteen?
1613
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:21,368
I guess some guy
with a giant butt.
1614
01:07:21,560 --> 01:07:22,679
Ha.
1615
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:24,639
You don't know who the Boss is?
1616
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:26,239
I stink as a father.
1617
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:28,319
You do not stink as a father.
1618
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:30,239
You're the best father I know.
1619
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,679
That's why I don't understand
why you don't...
1620
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:33,799
Why I don't want a baby?
1621
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:36,280
Because I don't want one!
Let's move on from that!
1622
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,009
(SOBBING)
1623
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,920
Oh, no. No, no.
1624
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:47,879
Tell her it wasn't
you talking, Dad.
1625
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:49,559
It was your flabby ass.
1626
01:07:49,560 --> 01:07:53,042
You want me to "accidentally"
break the other leg?
1627
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:02,319
Hey, I'm sorry
I raised my voice.
1628
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:03,999
In front of the children!
1629
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,639
Right, in front of the kids.
1630
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:06,959
It's just, you...
1631
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:09,679
All you're doing is bringing up
this baby thing over and over.
1632
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:11,199
Are you going through, like,
1633
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:15,250
a "womany" hormone situation
or something? (GASPS)
1634
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,159
Menopause?
1635
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:19,128
What, you're not old enough for that?
I'm sorry.
1636
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:20,999
Okay, no,
I meant schizophrenia.
1637
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,359
No, honey, honey, honey,
1638
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,399
if we have another baby,
we're starting over, you know?
1639
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:27,959
How about we just adopt a kid?
1640
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:29,319
Like
a 20-year-old who has a job.
1641
01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:30,881
That way we could
make money off of him.
1642
01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:32,361
Oh!
1643
01:08:32,480 --> 01:08:35,768
I just... Don't you think we can
start concentrating on me and you?
1644
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:38,479
That's all I'm saying.
It's our time.
1645
01:08:38,480 --> 01:08:43,159
Well, I am going through
kind of a hormone thing.
1646
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,447
Ah, good,
there's pills for that.
1647
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,969
I'm pregnant.
1648
01:08:49,760 --> 01:08:50,919
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1649
01:08:50,920 --> 01:08:51,921
(GASPS)
1650
01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:54,408
Our guests are here.
1651
01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:00,009
Wait a minute,
when did we even have...
1652
01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:01,401
Oh.
1653
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:07,799
Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!
1654
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:10,639
MARCUS: Wow.
Lenny, that's big, brother.
1655
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:12,239
Yeah, four kids is the best.
1656
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:13,719
What are you
talking about, Prince?
1657
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,768
You told me it would be
the worst if that happened.
1658
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:17,919
There's a lot of
great aspects to that.
1659
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:21,599
Like, when Junior graduates
high school, you'll be 64.
1660
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:22,999
How is that a good thing?
1661
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,799
Actually, it's horrifying.
1662
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:26,799
I didn't do the math before
I opened my mouth. Sorry.
1663
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:28,959
Whoo. Nice job, Cher.
1664
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:30,079
Okay, I'm not Cher.
1665
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,239
I'm Meat Loaf, all right?
Yeah.
1666
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:34,599
You're Meat Loaf,
or you're made of meat loaf?
1667
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,284
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
Who are you, Doug Henning?
1668
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:38,239
I'm Oates.
1669
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,241
Where's Hall?
1670
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,759
Hall's having
a playdate with your kids.
1671
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:44,286
(GIGGLING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
1672
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:46,919
Anyway, you got nothing
to worry about, Lenny.
1673
01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:48,120
All right? You're a great dad.
1674
01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:49,719
Right, I know.
I broke my son's leg today.
1675
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:50,959
That's a real good dad.
1676
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,291
Guys, you're
bumming me out, all right?
1677
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:53,719
This is supposed
to be party time.
1678
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,759
This isn't gonna be a real party.
I'm drinking a juice box,
1679
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:58,285
'cause I'm afraid my
wife's gonna yell at me
1680
01:09:58,440 --> 01:10:00,039
for getting drunk
in front of the kids.
1681
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:03,249
How many of you guys have been to
a party in the past six months?
1682
01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:04,361
(WHOOPS)
1683
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:06,289
A party without a bouncy house.
1684
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:07,719
(MAKES DEFLATED NOISE)
1685
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:09,609
A party where they
actually invited you.
1686
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:12,239
Yeah.
1687
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:14,759
The party's over, fellas.
1688
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:16,879
You saw the way those frat
guys treated us today.
1689
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,319
We're irrelevant.
1690
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:19,639
We're losers.
1691
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:20,759
We're old.
1692
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:22,199
Lamonsoff totally surrendered.
1693
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:24,119
He's got a fanny pack on now,
for God's sake.
1694
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:25,839
You know what, first of all,
1695
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,479
it's a "survanny" pack,
a survival fanny pack,
1696
01:10:28,480 --> 01:10:29,919
with many special features.
1697
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,207
So you pull that triangle
and lasagna comes out?
1698
01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:33,799
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
1699
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:35,279
Why don't you give it a shot?
1700
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,487
You got it.
I'll pull the string.
1701
01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:39,930
(ALL YELL)
1702
01:10:40,440 --> 01:10:42,522
♪ Like a raft out of hell! ♪
1703
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:45,888
Yeah, good one, that was good.
1704
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,243
Don't ever say
the party's over!
1705
01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:52,329
That didn't happen.
1706
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,328
Hey, Richard Simmons is a hero.
1707
01:11:16,320 --> 01:11:18,479
No, no, no, no, no.
1708
01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:19,759
What's with all this Prince?
1709
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:21,079
- I'm Prince.
- The hell.
1710
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:22,479
You ain't Prince. I'm Prince.
1711
01:11:22,480 --> 01:11:24,084
My skin's way
lighter than yours.
1712
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:27,159
You should have came as Seal on
a hunger strike. (BOTH CHUCKLE)
1713
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,759
You look like Morgan Freeman
if he was a transvestite.
1714
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:32,046
And what you
doing here, Bumpty?
1715
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:33,479
I thought you was
out with my daughter.
1716
01:11:33,480 --> 01:11:35,879
That ain't Bumpty.
That's my wife.
1717
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:38,599
Oh, Mary!
I didn't recognize you.
1718
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:39,959
Where's your costume?
1719
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:42,884
I didn't find out about the
party until it was too late.
1720
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,044
So you decided to
come as a black Muppet?
1721
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:48,767
What?
1722
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:52,847
Come on, you're my one and
only, sweetie-boo-mo-mo.
1723
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:55,719
Make a muscle for me?
1724
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:56,846
Pwease?
1725
01:11:58,240 --> 01:11:59,439
Ooh!
1726
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,408
So bulgy.
1727
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:06,325
Like a big caramel apple.
1728
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:11,081
(MOANS)
1729
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,084
Wow.
1730
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:21,921
I'm scared.
I feel safe with you.
1731
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:33,924
Shut up.
1732
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:39,159
You know, I can make
a connection with a woman.
1733
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:41,439
I just can't sustain it.
1734
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,602
You know,
there's a distance there.
1735
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:47,959
Try to fill it up pharmaceutically,
you know, with pills,
1736
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:49,919
or the Discovery Channel,
1737
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,082
or Dino Nuggets.
1738
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:54,199
But nothing really works.
1739
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:57,443
See, you understand, you know?
1740
01:12:57,560 --> 01:12:59,608
'Cause you're, I heard,
1741
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:02,606
sensitive (CLEARS THROAT)
to men.
1742
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:04,479
God, he's hot!
1743
01:13:04,480 --> 01:13:06,721
Zip it!
He'll find out our secret!
1744
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:14,167
Drink up, partner.
1745
01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:15,399
Yeah!
1746
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:16,970
Lenny!
1747
01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:18,879
Uh-oh! Secret table.
1748
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:21,119
Yes, honey, how are you?
What's going on?
1749
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:22,799
We just trying to
get our punch on.
1750
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:23,839
Becky's sleepy.
1751
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,959
She wants her daddy
to put her to bed.
1752
01:13:25,960 --> 01:13:28,725
Well, Daddy's right about to
enjoy some refreshing punch,
1753
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:30,839
so could you put her to sleep?
1754
01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:32,919
Well, you wouldn't want
to have too much punch
1755
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:35,241
with all these
kids running around.
1756
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:36,919
You know what,
I'd be okay with that.
1757
01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:38,319
Actually, you wouldn't.
1758
01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:39,759
Gotcha.
1759
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,679
I'll be back soon, fellas. I'll
be back soon. That's a promise.
1760
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:44,319
- Let's go, little girl.
- Good night.
1761
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:45,481
Time to go to sleep.
1762
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:47,524
Close your eyes.
1763
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,365
Yeah, Mom.
1764
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:56,367
As easy as making a free throw.
1765
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,799
Hey, Bean, Becky went to sleep.
1766
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:03,519
I think it's time for you to hit it, pal.
What do you say?
1767
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:04,879
Oh, no, no, don't touch that.
1768
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:06,359
Yeah, you might break it.
1769
01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:08,442
(PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC)
1770
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:12,119
What...
1771
01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:13,929
Where did you
learn how to do that?
1772
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:15,804
I saw it in one of my dreams.
1773
01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:22,999
You're a genius?
1774
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,287
My boy's a genius.
1775
01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:29,087
(BURPSNARTS)
1776
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,759
Your dad's also a genius.
1777
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:35,319
Sweet dreams there,
angel, okay?
1778
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:38,519
Daddy, can you lay in bed
with me till I fall asleep?
1779
01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:41,199
What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy.
That's why we came up here.
1780
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,567
Please lay down.
1781
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:45,321
Oh!
1782
01:14:46,880 --> 01:14:48,199
I'll lay down with you, then.
1783
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:51,399
I just... There's
a party going on, but...
1784
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:53,039
Can you tell me a story?
1785
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:54,644
Look who was in
the neighborhood!
1786
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:57,999
Some of Lenny's friends
from the old J. Geils Band!
1787
01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,286
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1788
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:13,040
Daddy?
1789
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,479
You don't want one slug?
1790
01:15:14,480 --> 01:15:15,919
No.
1791
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:18,082
I thought you liked
this stuff. Sorry.
1792
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:22,209
All right.
I'll tell you a story.
1793
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:28,202
Once upon a time,
there was a hand,
1794
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:31,803
and the hand
faced-raked the child.
1795
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:35,563
Sleep!
1796
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:38,167
Slee...
1797
01:15:39,320 --> 01:15:41,084
Sleep!
1798
01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:45,970
Boy, Feder's cranking his old rock
and roll records pretty loud.
1799
01:15:46,440 --> 01:15:48,283
Guess he's never
heard of neighbors.
1800
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:52,280
Now, why you stopping here?
1801
01:15:52,480 --> 01:15:53,999
I need some air.
1802
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,239
You need some air?
1803
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:56,480
We haven't even
gotten to the party yet.
1804
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:57,959
I would appreciate it
1805
01:15:57,960 --> 01:16:00,281
if you would stop
trying to "manage" me.
1806
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:03,688
Word, word.
1807
01:16:04,200 --> 01:16:05,799
Want me to stay
and wait with you?
1808
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:09,771
I just want to be alone!
1809
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:13,119
Yo, don't believe the hype.
1810
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,122
Boy!
1811
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:28,679
Daddy, I can't fall asleep
without Mr. Gigglesworth.
1812
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:31,159
You told me he would be okay.
1813
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:33,239
He will be. I...
1814
01:16:33,240 --> 01:16:35,481
He just needs to rest
a little bit longer, okay?
1815
01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:38,883
Please, Daddy.
I need to see him.
1816
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:43,321
He had a very rough day.
1817
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:48,089
But I'll get him for you,
because you need to see him.
1818
01:16:49,720 --> 01:16:53,042
Doing leg lifts. I work
out when I can, you know?
1819
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:54,999
Want some Daddy
candy right here?
1820
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:57,039
Why are you naked?
1821
01:16:57,040 --> 01:16:58,565
Global warming.
1822
01:16:59,080 --> 01:17:00,399
Why is this empty?
1823
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:01,919
- Where is Gigglesworth?
- Hey, hey.
1824
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:05,039
I'm sorry, man.
Were you looking for this?
1825
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:06,359
Why's he look good?
1826
01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:07,719
I sewed him.
1827
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:08,879
You sew?
1828
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:10,039
Where'd you learn how to sew?
1829
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:11,199
Gay camp.
1830
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:13,441
You went to gay camp?
You're gay?
1831
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:16,239
No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay,
1832
01:17:16,240 --> 01:17:18,879
but no, there's no such thing as
gay camp, man. It was a joke.
1833
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,759
I learned to sew from my dad,
who was a tailor.
1834
01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:23,331
I've been sewing since
I was Becky's age. Here.
1835
01:17:23,480 --> 01:17:25,403
This is great.
1836
01:17:25,880 --> 01:17:27,999
Gigglesworth's okay,
1837
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:30,279
you're not fooling
around with my wife,
1838
01:17:30,280 --> 01:17:31,520
and you got a pee stain.
1839
01:17:35,680 --> 01:17:37,842
That is not mine.
1840
01:17:47,080 --> 01:17:49,082
You're an animal.
1841
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:57,770
I am the law!
1842
01:18:00,440 --> 01:18:01,965
(SCREAMING)
1843
01:18:02,920 --> 01:18:03,921
ALL:
Oh!
1844
01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:06,201
(ALL CHEER)
1845
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:09,688
Can you dig it?
1846
01:18:19,520 --> 01:18:20,521
Ah!
1847
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:23,441
Come on, big man, Lenny's
got, like, 12 bathrooms.
1848
01:18:23,640 --> 01:18:25,799
I don't got to go
to the bathroom.
1849
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:27,450
I'm just enjoying the water.
1850
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:29,999
WOMAN:
Get out.
1851
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:32,679
Hurry! Hurry!
1852
01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:34,364
Oh, Fluzoo, come on!
1853
01:18:34,480 --> 01:18:37,324
That's not even warm.
It's hot.
1854
01:18:42,320 --> 01:18:44,479
I got to give it to
your old man for one thing.
1855
01:18:44,480 --> 01:18:47,359
He could always throw a party.
1856
01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:48,964
This is my dad's party?
1857
01:18:52,440 --> 01:18:55,489
DICKIE: Check out your girlfriend
in the Pat Benatar outfit.
1858
01:18:57,280 --> 01:18:58,930
(ALL GROAN IN DISAPPOINTMENT)
1859
01:18:59,120 --> 01:19:01,851
(SINGING)
1860
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:14,684
(ALL CHEERING)
1861
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,365
KURT:
Charlotte,
1862
01:19:18,480 --> 01:19:19,839
that was amazing.
1863
01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:21,251
Where'd you learn
to sing like that?
1864
01:19:21,360 --> 01:19:24,921
No place. I just sing a little
in the shower. (CHUCKLES)
1865
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:27,559
Maybe you should stick to the shower.
(BEATBOXING)
1866
01:19:27,560 --> 01:19:28,879
♪ 'Cause I gots the power ♪
1867
01:19:28,880 --> 01:19:31,399
♪ I'm on Today Show ♪
♪ Dissing Matt Lauer ♪
1868
01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:32,519
DEANNE:
Bumpty!
1869
01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:33,879
Do me a favor
and shut your mouth
1870
01:19:33,880 --> 01:19:36,879
before I slap that
Mohawk into a chin strap.
1871
01:19:36,880 --> 01:19:38,484
ALL:
What?
1872
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,399
LENNY:
Hey.
1873
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:56,448
Who invited you guys?
1874
01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:58,959
Your beautiful wife does.
1875
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,239
Well, she invited her,
1876
01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:03,164
and naturally,
we assumed it was a plus one.
1877
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:04,879
There a problem?
1878
01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:08,599
No, I was gonna say,
great Terminator outfit
1879
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:11,439
and Robert Palmer
thing you got on, and...
1880
01:20:11,440 --> 01:20:12,799
(MUTTERING)
1881
01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:14,404
Nice babble.
1882
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:17,001
- DUFFY: How about this?
- KEITHIE: No.
1883
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:18,199
DUFFY:
What about that?
1884
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:20,439
Does that hurt?
Is that hurting you?
1885
01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:21,599
Yes, it is hurting me.
1886
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:24,399
Oh. Okay.
Well, let me do it some more.
1887
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:26,687
You got something to say?
1888
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:28,450
LENNY:
Actually, Cavanaugh.
1889
01:20:28,600 --> 01:20:32,239
You want to stay at my party,
I think you owe me an apology.
1890
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:33,319
For what?
1891
01:20:33,320 --> 01:20:36,210
For back in the day,
always giving me crap.
1892
01:20:36,480 --> 01:20:38,599
You don't want to
let bygones be bygones?
1893
01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:41,809
I do.
After you apologize to me.
1894
01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:44,119
For stuff I did 30 years ago?
1895
01:20:44,120 --> 01:20:47,759
There isn't a statute of
limitations on being a dick.
1896
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,879
What'd you just say?
1897
01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:51,799
I said what I said.
1898
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:53,919
You and me are
fighting right now.
1899
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:56,199
Now, let's go!
Let's get it over with.
1900
01:20:56,200 --> 01:20:57,645
(CROWD CLAMORING)
1901
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:00,599
Oh, man, looks like our
friend's about to die.
1902
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:02,489
Lenny, what's going on?
I'm calling the police!
1903
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:05,171
We're already here.
1904
01:21:05,320 --> 01:21:06,321
(SNORING)
1905
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:09,246
Hold my hair, woman.
1906
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:11,319
You ready for this?
1907
01:21:11,320 --> 01:21:14,159
Not at all,
but I'm gonna do this,
1908
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:16,128
'cause I got to show
my son what's right.
1909
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:21,799
We'd do anything for
our boys, wouldn't we?
1910
01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:23,279
Absolutely.
1911
01:21:23,280 --> 01:21:24,479
Yeah.
1912
01:21:24,480 --> 01:21:26,119
My boy's over in Afghanistan.
1913
01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:29,599
Well, you raised him right.
I hope he gets home safe soon.
1914
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:31,119
Yeah, me, too.
1915
01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:32,639
OFFICER DANTE:
Sucker-punch him, Feder.
1916
01:21:32,640 --> 01:21:37,009
Lick his bicep. Lick it,
bite it, lick the tan off.
1917
01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:40,759
All right,
here's what's gonna happen.
1918
01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:43,519
Hit me right on the chin. I'll
go down like a sack of potatoes.
1919
01:21:43,520 --> 01:21:44,601
What are you talking about?
1920
01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:45,839
Just do it.
1921
01:21:45,840 --> 01:21:48,320
I know you'd do the same for
me if my boy was watching.
1922
01:21:49,320 --> 01:21:51,163
Let's get busy, Hollywood!
1923
01:21:58,440 --> 01:21:59,959
No! Don't hit me, please!
1924
01:21:59,960 --> 01:22:01,959
I'm sorry.
Please don't hit me.
1925
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,371
You would tear
me limb from limb.
1926
01:22:03,480 --> 01:22:04,839
Open this.
1927
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:06,080
The only reason I picked on you
1928
01:22:06,200 --> 01:22:07,559
was because I
was afraid of you.
1929
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:09,039
- What?
- Oh, my God.
1930
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:11,119
Please, please, please.
Just go with it.
1931
01:22:11,120 --> 01:22:13,479
I didn't think anyone would
believe you could knock me out.
1932
01:22:13,480 --> 01:22:17,359
Please. Don't hit me.
1933
01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:20,519
Cavanaugh's crying.
This is ridiculous!
1934
01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:21,559
MAN:
Cavanaugh.
1935
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:23,199
You mean you don't
want me to hit you with this?
1936
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:24,201
No! Please.
1937
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,488
Or the elbow?
1938
01:22:26,840 --> 01:22:28,359
Finger in the eye!
1939
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,319
- Wow.
- Listen to this guy!
1940
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:33,847
All right, get up.
Straighten up.
1941
01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:35,969
I'm not gonna hit you,
1942
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:41,039
but if you ever disrespect me
1943
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:42,919
or anybody,
1944
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:44,839
I will hunt you down,
1945
01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:48,481
and I will slap you
into a pile of tattoos,
1946
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:50,724
bad breath
1947
01:22:51,400 --> 01:22:52,481
and back zits.
1948
01:22:53,520 --> 01:22:55,559
Oh, please.
1949
01:22:55,560 --> 01:22:57,688
Do you understand me?
1950
01:22:57,920 --> 01:22:59,599
Yes, I understand you.
1951
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:02,279
Do you understand me?
1952
01:23:02,280 --> 01:23:04,726
Yes, I understand you!
1953
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,879
Then walk away
before I change my mind.
1954
01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:08,291
Thank you very much.
1955
01:23:08,720 --> 01:23:09,721
(CROWD CHEERING)
1956
01:23:14,040 --> 01:23:15,087
Hey, man, look at him!
1957
01:23:15,200 --> 01:23:16,239
What just happened?
1958
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:18,239
ALL:
Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!
1959
01:23:18,240 --> 01:23:21,483
Oh, my God, that was the
manliest thing you ever did.
1960
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:25,039
You get extra special
hip-hop dance tonight.
1961
01:23:25,040 --> 01:23:26,644
Word up.
1962
01:23:27,160 --> 01:23:30,243
(FRAT BOYS WHOOPING)
1963
01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,599
Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,
1964
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:36,161
could you tell him that I'm
here waiting like we arranged?
1965
01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:38,009
Guys? Guys?
1966
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:43,002
Yeah, okay.
Okay, I am a person!
1967
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:45,119
ERIC: That was awesome, by the way.
Had to. Had to.
1968
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:46,599
Yeah, yeah, you had to.
1969
01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:48,279
He let you off the hook,
didn't he?
1970
01:23:48,280 --> 01:23:51,204
He did, he did,
but I had to go with it.
1971
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,603
I can't believe it!
1972
01:23:58,720 --> 01:24:00,959
We hit the moron jackpot!
1973
01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:05,319
Everybody who needs a beating,
conveniently together on one lawn.
1974
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:06,879
Who are they?
1975
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:09,326
Brunson University frat guys.
1976
01:24:09,440 --> 01:24:12,171
Oh, God, I hate white people.
1977
01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:15,119
Excuse me, why are you here?
What's the matter?
1978
01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:18,169
(IMITATING ACCENT)
I tell you what is the matter.
1979
01:24:18,280 --> 01:24:21,039
These old townies
trashed our frat house!
1980
01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:24,839
And nobody treats our good-times
headquarters with disrespect!
1981
01:24:24,840 --> 01:24:26,888
ALL:
Yeah!
1982
01:24:27,040 --> 01:24:30,039
They didn't do it.
1983
01:24:30,040 --> 01:24:31,479
Me do it.
1984
01:24:31,480 --> 01:24:33,767
Don't try and
cover for him, Z-Dog!
1985
01:24:33,880 --> 01:24:35,399
Who's Z-Dog?
1986
01:24:35,400 --> 01:24:36,686
We know they're
trying to get back at us
1987
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,079
for making them do the naked
plunge in our swimming hole.
1988
01:24:39,080 --> 01:24:40,764
Your swimming hole?
I've been swimming
1989
01:24:40,880 --> 01:24:42,564
at the quarry since I
was eight years old.
1990
01:24:42,680 --> 01:24:45,159
Apparently,
everybody in this crap town
1991
01:24:45,160 --> 01:24:48,039
has been swimming there since
they were eight years old.
1992
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:50,042
I guess nobody
wants to leave this dump
1993
01:24:50,160 --> 01:24:52,162
because they're
too busy sucking!
1994
01:24:52,520 --> 01:24:54,090
(ALL CHEER)
1995
01:24:57,640 --> 01:24:58,999
We'll finish later.
1996
01:24:59,000 --> 01:25:00,519
- You promise?
- I promise.
1997
01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:02,399
- Okay.
- BAILEY: Hey, smart guy!
1998
01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:04,639
Lenny Feder left this town,
1999
01:25:04,640 --> 01:25:07,759
moved to Hollywood,
made big bucks,
2000
01:25:07,760 --> 01:25:10,239
probably more money than
all you brainiacs put together
2001
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:11,319
ever will.
2002
01:25:11,320 --> 01:25:12,526
But guess what?
2003
01:25:12,640 --> 01:25:14,319
He came back here.
2004
01:25:14,320 --> 01:25:16,607
'Cause this
beautiful town is his home.
2005
01:25:16,720 --> 01:25:19,041
And it always will be his home.
2006
01:25:24,360 --> 01:25:28,439
Well, that was just a moving
testament to this community, bro!
2007
01:25:28,440 --> 01:25:32,679
But we didn't come here
to hear any lame speeches.
2008
01:25:32,680 --> 01:25:37,288
We came here to kick
some old, smelly ass!
2009
01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:45,287
Fellas, we may be old.
2010
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:46,719
We may be smelly.
2011
01:25:46,720 --> 01:25:48,722
We may have a penis.
2012
01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:54,639
But the only ones getting
their ass kicked around here
2013
01:25:54,640 --> 01:25:57,530
is gonna be you spoiled,
2014
01:25:57,640 --> 01:26:01,599
privileged,
uppity, preppy D-bags.
2015
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:02,879
You hear that?
2016
01:26:02,880 --> 01:26:05,281
Now, let's get busy!
2017
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:12,242
(ALL YELLING AGGRESSIVELY)
2018
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:27,559
♪ They're ♪
♪ dancing on the ceiling ♪
2019
01:26:27,560 --> 01:26:30,279
♪ They're dancing on the floor ♪
2020
01:26:30,280 --> 01:26:33,439
♪ People everywhere ♪
♪ coming through the door ♪
2021
01:26:33,440 --> 01:26:36,523
♪ They know there's ♪
♪ a party going on ♪
2022
01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:47,759
MARCUS:
Come on, son!
2023
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:48,799
You ain't tough!
2024
01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:50,245
Hit him!
2025
01:26:50,920 --> 01:26:55,369
Yeah, Braden!
Whoo! Yeah! Damn!
2026
01:26:55,480 --> 01:26:56,970
- You want this?
- Uh-oh!
2027
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:02,679
Sir, please stop it!
2028
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:04,999
That's not a sir!
That's a woman!
2029
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:07,128
My woman!
2030
01:27:07,240 --> 01:27:09,479
Come on, babe.
2031
01:27:09,480 --> 01:27:12,799
♪ I know you're ♪
♪ gonna lose control ♪
2032
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,119
♪ You can do ♪
2033
01:27:14,120 --> 01:27:16,043
Oh, you're so hot.
2034
01:27:17,160 --> 01:27:18,161
(SCREAMING)
2035
01:27:19,560 --> 01:27:22,439
♪ I know it's cold outside ♪
2036
01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:24,442
Don't bust my face!
2037
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,490
You saved me.
2038
01:27:26,920 --> 01:27:28,160
(GRUNTING)
2039
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:31,759
I will protect you for
the rest of your life.
2040
01:27:31,760 --> 01:27:34,843
Oh, okay, blow dryer boy.
2041
01:27:35,000 --> 01:27:36,001
(YELPS)
2042
01:27:38,320 --> 01:27:39,679
Oh, God, no!
2043
01:27:39,680 --> 01:27:41,799
No! No!
2044
01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:43,879
Yeah! Yeah!
2045
01:27:43,880 --> 01:27:45,679
Having a good anniversary,
babe?
2046
01:27:45,680 --> 01:27:47,011
Oh, honey, the best.
2047
01:27:47,640 --> 01:27:48,641
(SCREAMING)
2048
01:27:50,440 --> 01:27:51,519
(GROWLING)
2049
01:27:51,520 --> 01:27:52,999
I can't breathe.
2050
01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:54,199
Choking me!
2051
01:27:54,200 --> 01:27:55,321
(KYLE GRUNTING AGGRESSIVELY)
2052
01:28:04,720 --> 01:28:05,999
Yeah!
2053
01:28:06,000 --> 01:28:07,879
We did it. We did it, man.
2054
01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:08,919
Yeah.
2055
01:28:08,920 --> 01:28:10,439
We make a good team.
2056
01:28:10,440 --> 01:28:11,965
Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
2057
01:28:27,800 --> 01:28:28,801
(YELLING)
2058
01:28:38,280 --> 01:28:40,719
♪ I know it's cold outside ♪
2059
01:28:40,720 --> 01:28:43,639
♪ Come on, babe, ♪
♪ I'll keep you satisfied ♪
2060
01:28:43,640 --> 01:28:44,766
Boomer!
2061
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:46,159
What's going on?
2062
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:47,679
This!
2063
01:28:47,680 --> 01:28:50,559
You're a traitor, Boomer!
2064
01:28:50,560 --> 01:28:51,766
His name's not Boomer!
2065
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:54,199
Oh!
It's Gary.
2066
01:28:54,200 --> 01:28:55,439
It's Greg.
2067
01:28:55,440 --> 01:28:57,647
Oh, Greg.
2068
01:29:04,640 --> 01:29:07,039
Oh, my God!
Did you see his head?
2069
01:29:07,040 --> 01:29:08,769
He's got a... He's bald!
2070
01:29:08,920 --> 01:29:10,439
I got a wild one!
2071
01:29:10,440 --> 01:29:12,204
I got a wild one!
Whoo hoo hoo!
2072
01:29:14,080 --> 01:29:15,759
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
2073
01:29:15,760 --> 01:29:17,808
Nobody noogies my brother!
2074
01:29:19,680 --> 01:29:22,081
My brain! My brain!
2075
01:29:26,720 --> 01:29:28,559
B.U.!
2076
01:29:28,560 --> 01:29:30,119
Hey, man! I had that one.
2077
01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:31,799
I know you did, big brother.
2078
01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:32,839
Get out of here!
2079
01:29:32,840 --> 01:29:33,841
Don't hit me!
2080
01:29:33,960 --> 01:29:36,959
Hey, hey, look who showed up.
2081
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:39,930
Flippy-boy. Yeah, you want to
flip your way out of this?
2082
01:29:41,280 --> 01:29:42,799
Too slow, old man.
2083
01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:44,131
Where you work out, Cinnabon?
2084
01:29:47,280 --> 01:29:48,639
Look who's back up, baby.
2085
01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:50,719
I didn't know we were kicking.
Give me a second to stretch.
2086
01:29:50,720 --> 01:29:52,079
All right.
2087
01:29:52,080 --> 01:29:53,599
We're gonna
throw some legs, huh?
2088
01:29:53,600 --> 01:29:55,284
You want to
throw some legs, huh?
2089
01:29:57,280 --> 01:29:59,199
Boom!
2090
01:29:59,200 --> 01:30:00,929
That just happened.
2091
01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:04,087
What,
were you raised by ninjas?
2092
01:30:05,560 --> 01:30:07,319
Congratulations.
2093
01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:08,399
You won the fight.
2094
01:30:08,400 --> 01:30:09,401
Here's your prize.
2095
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:11,079
Aw!
2096
01:30:11,080 --> 01:30:14,368
Thanks, little girl.
It looks just like you.
2097
01:30:17,000 --> 01:30:18,684
It's a monkey!
2098
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,359
Look at me!
2099
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:23,330
I'm a stupid little monkey.
2100
01:30:27,400 --> 01:30:29,801
Good night.
2101
01:30:32,480 --> 01:30:34,719
Come on, guys!
We got to get out!
2102
01:30:34,720 --> 01:30:36,085
Let's go!
2103
01:30:38,120 --> 01:30:39,959
Lenny! Baby.
2104
01:30:39,960 --> 01:30:42,040
- Baby, are you all right?
- I'm coming for you, Leonard!
2105
01:30:42,080 --> 01:30:43,081
(SCREAMS)
2106
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:46,319
I'm here for you, Leonard.
I'm here for you.
2107
01:30:46,320 --> 01:30:48,359
Who... Who are you?
2108
01:30:48,360 --> 01:30:49,885
It's your pretty, shiny Penny.
2109
01:30:51,880 --> 01:30:54,451
Oops, sorry,
I kicked your barrette.
2110
01:30:55,360 --> 01:30:57,044
(LAUGHING)
2111
01:30:58,240 --> 01:31:00,402
Sorry, honey!
2112
01:31:02,360 --> 01:31:05,599
LENNY: You guys were Fuji
and Tanaka out there.
2113
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:07,079
This is just like high school.
2114
01:31:07,080 --> 01:31:11,039
Get drunk, get in a fight, wind up
back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.
2115
01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:13,042
Except for
the drunk part, Mommy.
2116
01:31:13,320 --> 01:31:14,321
Oh.
(ALL CHUCKLING)
2117
01:31:15,360 --> 01:31:19,046
Oh, all you guys together
brings back so many memories.
2118
01:31:19,560 --> 01:31:20,846
Whoa, Dickie,
is this you and Lenny?
2119
01:31:20,960 --> 01:31:22,246
LENNY:
Let's see.
2120
01:31:22,360 --> 01:31:24,599
Yeah, me and Hollywood were
best friends in kindergarten.
2121
01:31:24,600 --> 01:31:25,886
- Yep.
- What happened?
2122
01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:28,559
What do you mean, "What happened?"
We were in different classes.
2123
01:31:28,560 --> 01:31:29,800
We kind of
drifted apart, right?
2124
01:31:29,920 --> 01:31:32,159
Yeah. He was in
those smart classes.
2125
01:31:32,160 --> 01:31:33,719
I was in the other classes.
2126
01:31:33,720 --> 01:31:34,721
(ALL LAUGH)
2127
01:31:36,280 --> 01:31:37,645
Hey, who's this guy?
2128
01:31:37,760 --> 01:31:39,603
- Anybody remember him?
- LENNY: Who is that?
2129
01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:40,919
Wow, what happened to that kid?
2130
01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:42,160
He's still here.
2131
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:47,959
Why do I know my new kid's gonna
end up looking like that?
2132
01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,086
You're having a baby, Lenny?
2133
01:31:49,200 --> 01:31:50,326
Yeah.
2134
01:31:50,440 --> 01:31:51,930
Yeah, so I'm told,
Mrs. Lamonsoff.
2135
01:31:52,080 --> 01:31:53,799
Oh, a surprise, huh?
2136
01:31:53,800 --> 01:31:55,165
Yes.
2137
01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:58,919
People today try to
plan things out so much.
2138
01:31:58,920 --> 01:32:02,199
But don't think an unexpected
child is loved any less
2139
01:32:02,200 --> 01:32:04,441
than one you planned for.
2140
01:32:05,080 --> 01:32:06,730
Someday, Lenny,
you won't even remember
2141
01:32:06,840 --> 01:32:08,560
what life was like
with just three children.
2142
01:32:09,960 --> 01:32:11,803
You think we wanted Eric?
(COUGHS)
2143
01:32:11,920 --> 01:32:13,479
- He was an accident.
- Mama.
2144
01:32:13,480 --> 01:32:16,679
His father and I were in the
men's room at a Patriots game...
2145
01:32:16,680 --> 01:32:18,919
You know what, I think I'm
just gonna turn the page here.
2146
01:32:18,920 --> 01:32:21,079
I'm turning the page.
2147
01:32:21,080 --> 01:32:22,525
Finish the story!
2148
01:32:33,000 --> 01:32:36,239
Officer Dante's
passed out on our lawn.
2149
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:39,839
I know. I saw him
trying to arrest an anthill.
2150
01:32:39,840 --> 01:32:40,841
(ROXANNE CHUCKLES)
2151
01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:44,922
Want to talk about
the whole pregnancy thing?
2152
01:32:47,040 --> 01:32:48,159
Mmm.
2153
01:32:48,160 --> 01:32:50,079
It's okay.
We'll talk tomorrow.
2154
01:32:50,080 --> 01:32:51,399
Okay.
2155
01:32:51,400 --> 01:32:54,722
Okay, you go to sleep. I'll make
this between me and the baby.
2156
01:32:56,880 --> 01:32:57,881
(SIGHS)
2157
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:04,162
Hello in there.
2158
01:33:04,560 --> 01:33:06,210
This is your daddy speaking.
2159
01:33:08,040 --> 01:33:11,399
I just want to tell you
welcome to the family,
2160
01:33:11,400 --> 01:33:14,847
and I love you very,
very, very much.
2161
01:33:15,160 --> 01:33:19,006
I really don't care if
you're a boy or girl.
2162
01:33:19,960 --> 01:33:22,930
I just need you to
promise me one thing.
2163
01:33:23,360 --> 01:33:27,239
When you're in elementary
school, study ballet,
2164
01:33:27,240 --> 01:33:29,925
so I can see that teacher
as much as possible.
2165
01:33:30,320 --> 01:33:31,359
Hey.
2166
01:33:31,360 --> 01:33:33,283
I knew that was coming.
2167
01:33:35,200 --> 01:33:38,727
To be honest, I don't need
no stinking ballet teacher.
2168
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:41,919
I'm married to the most
beautiful woman in the world,
2169
01:33:41,920 --> 01:33:43,206
your mommy.
2170
01:33:43,880 --> 01:33:45,530
Are you saying
sweet things to me
2171
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:47,364
because you want
to fool around?
2172
01:33:47,640 --> 01:33:50,405
That would be a nice way
to kick off the summer.
2173
01:33:50,520 --> 01:33:53,649
Okay, Mr. Romantic.
2174
01:33:54,000 --> 01:33:55,839
But let's do this quick,
2175
01:33:55,840 --> 01:33:57,759
we have a big
day tomorrow, okay?
2176
01:33:57,760 --> 01:33:59,039
Absolutely.
2177
01:33:59,040 --> 01:34:00,804
Watch your head in there.
2178
01:34:01,040 --> 01:34:02,041
(CHUCKLES)
2179
01:34:04,080 --> 01:34:05,081
LENNY:
Whoo!
2180
01:34:05,880 --> 01:34:06,959
(KISSING)
2181
01:34:06,960 --> 01:34:09,359
Hang on.
Hang on. I'm sorry, honey.
2182
01:34:09,360 --> 01:34:12,569
Don't move. Don't move.
Oh, my God, I'm going to!
2183
01:34:12,680 --> 01:34:15,079
(BURPSNARTS)
2184
01:34:15,080 --> 01:34:19,722
I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!
2185
01:34:19,840 --> 01:34:21,559
ROXANNE:
Lenny, grow up!
2186
01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:23,927
LENNY:
I did it for the baby!