﻿1
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:51,310
<i>Hey, Frankie, let's go have a picnic.</i>

2
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,308
<i>No, I don't trust you.</i>

3
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:56,474
<i>I got your favourite cupcakes.</i>

4
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,652
<i>Are they real this time?</i>

5
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:03,488
<i>Mom!</i>

6
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,987
<i>He's your brother! Your damn brother.</i>

7
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:13,953
<i>Get over here!</i>

8
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,920
<i>Where'd you get those cameras,
you little fuck?</i>

9
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,963
<i>Where'd you get those cameras?</i>

10
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,593
<i>Did you steal them?</i>

11
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,425
<i>Get back here, you little fucker,
I'm gonna kill you!</i>

12
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,240
Mom. I can't talk.

13
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,072
You sound tense.

14
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,574
I'm not tense. I'm writing.
Can I call you back'?

15
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,490
<i>No, no, no. It'll only take a second.
What're you writing?</i>

16
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:37,992
What do you think I'm writing, Mom?

17
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,082
Writing books you never finish is
masturbation, Frank.

18
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,922
And I mean that with love,
so don't take it as an insult.

19
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:49,587
Anyway, there's a party on Friday
for your brother, and he wants you to come.

20
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:54,805
Mom, I don't see Bruce. I don't talk to Bruce.
You know it, he knows it.

21
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,602
It's been three years now! Get over it.

22
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,522
- Mom, I'm hanging up. I'll call you back.
- Let <i>it</i> go. He's off drugs.

23
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:05,603
He wanted it to be a surprise.
I know you two have your stuff,

24
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,068
<i>and his counsellor said everyone has
to go through this on their own time.</i>

25
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,741
But if you can come to his graduation thing,
I think you should.

26
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:19,951
Mom, I just don't think it's a good idea.
I'm really into this book.

27
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:26,795
And I just started a garden. Looks amazing.
But tell Bruce I'm proud of him.

28
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:30,215
No, you know what? I'll tell him myself.
I'll write him a letter.

29
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:35,224
My God. Would you really do that?
And when he finds out you're not coming

30
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:38,142
and he overdoses in a crack house,
we can read it at his funeral.

31
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,562
Fuck!

32
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,971
There you are! Bruce called.

33
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:03,145
All the other families are there.
I don't want to be late.

34
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,312
Chris, he's here!

35
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:05,806
Hi, Mom.

36
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:08,065
Come on, the "hi" was implied.

37
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,689
A lot of pictures of Bruce.

38
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,655
Bonnie Hubbard's son raped a girl
when he got out of rehab.

39
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,407
We want Bruce to feel loved.

40
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,325
- Sure.
- Chris!

41
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,526
I'm here. Stop yelling.

42
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,739
Why are you wearing the burgundy
when I suggested the blue?

43
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:22,823
What? You said red.

44
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,829
Tell your son it's time for him
to move back home.

45
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:25,909
What?

46
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:29,747
My people are Jewish. Moses led us out
of the desert. It is disrespectful to go back.

47
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,715
Would you please stop picking on him?
If what happened to him at his wedding

48
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,214
happened to you at your wedding,
you'd want to hide in the desert, too.

49
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,294
- Hi, Frankie.
- Hi, Dad.

50
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:37,504
- So now he's guilty?
- Guilty?

51
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:38,930
- Who said anything about him being guilty?
- You did!

52
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,529
- And you said it in your own words!
- He's traumatised.

53
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,768
And look at that! That is not a blue sweater,
that's a grey sweater.

54
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,220
We'll have to use your car.

55
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,146
What's wrong with yours?

56
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:50,101
We don't have cars right now.
Bruce stole them for drugs.

57
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,605
We said we wouldn't tell him!

58
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,857
Who said we wouldn't tell him?

59
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:56,657
I'm sorry, Bruce stole your cars
and sold them for drugs?

60
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,449
Why are you so hard on your brother?

61
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:02,655
Drug addiction is a disease. Would you be
mad at somebody because they got cancer?

62
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,656
If they stole my fucking car, I would.

63
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:08,122
Just don't mention it tonight.
Besides, the mopeds are fine.

64
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:12,376
They're all we could afford.

65
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:16,585
Apparently, the insurance company
doesn't consider it theft if it's family.

66
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:27,479
<i>Hi, my name is Bruce,
and I am an addict and an alcoholic.</i>

67
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,599
<i>Thank you, thank you.</i>

68
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,898
<i>Today's a big day for me.
I've just come out of rehab.</i>

69
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,484
<i>And today I am 90 days sober.</i>

70
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:39,316
Who's that woman?

71
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,400
<i>Thank you, thank you.</i>

72
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,909
Think I know her.

73
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:42,986
<i>Thank you, thank you.</i>

74
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,326
<i>- Be quiet.
- Thank you, thank you.</i>

75
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:51,329
<i>My disease had left me
in a drug-induced sleep.</i>

76
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:56,875
<i>It was rough. But even then I had a dream.</i>

77
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:02,177
<i>Just like this guy. Just like old Marty King.
"I had a dream."</i>

78
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:08,270
<i>My slavery was not picking cotton,
or eating gumbo, or whatever.</i>

79
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:13,021
<i>But it was gin and it was cocaine.
And I have been released.</i>

80
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,356
<i>Thank you.</i>

81
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:25,450
<i>Today, I would like to thank Mom and Dad
and Frankie.</i>

82
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,706
<i>This is for you.</i>

83
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,491
<i>Thank you.</i>

84
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:38,876
There they are!

85
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,172
There he is.

86
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,551
You look so pretty today.

87
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:45,928
There's my leading man!

88
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,350
Say something, Frankie!

89
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,268
Would you not do that, please?

90
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:53,557
I'm sorry. I've been waiting three months
to get this puppy back in my hands.

91
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,860
Bruce put his directing career on hold
while he was getting better.

92
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,653
They don't allow cameras in rehab.

93
00:07:58,728 --> 00:07:59,854
Is that really Jack Knoll?

94
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,155
Yeah, I never told you...

95
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,700
Jack! Jack! Come over and meet my family.

96
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:04,909
Two seconds!

97
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,782
We might be doing a picture together.

98
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:10,449
With you directing?
Did you hear that? My God!

99
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,951
When did you become a director, Bruce?

100
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,749
Dude, I've been directing my whole life.

101
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,749
Don't you remember all those funny movies
you used to make when you were boys?

102
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:22,006
He tortured him. Bruce tortured him on film.

103
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,382
That's not true.

104
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:31,891
It's good to see you.
I haven't seen you since the wedding.

105
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:33,767
- Rishr.>
- Yup.

106
00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:36,058
You're not still mad about that, are you?

107
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:39,693
Let's just forget about it, Bruce.

108
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,363
- Right. You don't wanna talk about it?
- Nope, not really.

109
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,907
It's just that I kind of wanted to talk about it.

110
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,368
Do you think it would be okay
just to keep this about now?

111
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,410
That's not a problem.

112
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:51,490
Jack Knoll. Isn't he that actor with all those
guns? Didn't he shoot somebody'?

113
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:54,743
Hey! Bruce, your old man's fucking
gossiping about me, man.

114
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,664
I'm just kidding, man. I'm just kidding.
I'm Jack. I love you people.

115
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:01,378
I just grazed him, didn't really hurt him.

116
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:05,637
Listen, your son, this man here,
saved my life.

117
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:11,848
If it hadn't been for him, I would've just
ripped my skull, right above my eyebrows,

118
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,679
just ripped it off
and taken my brains and smashed them out.

119
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:15,851
This man is a saint.

120
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,565
Those are sweet words. Thank you, Jack.

121
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,898
Bruce, are these your parents?
. Yes.

122
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,570
You must be so proud.

123
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,273
Dharma, this is my family.

124
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:26,991
Are you in show business?

125
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:31,447
Mom, this is Dharma D-Cup.
She's been, like, in a billion porn movies.

126
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:34,040
- Really?
- Yeah, but I'm done with all that.

127
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,292
I'm going to try and get into real acting.

128
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,460
I'm sure you'll be great.

129
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,662
Thanks.

130
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,998
You're a terrific actor.

131
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,625
What?

132
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,674
You. You have a talent.

133
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:52,476
You, the way you played that comedy.
It's so rare, so special.

134
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,642
You're a great actor.

135
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,345
Thank you. What is he talking about?

136
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:58,314
The short. The short, man. Superb.

137
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,350
- What short?
- My short.

138
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:06,026
The short that I shot at UCLA film school, bro.
Remember?

139
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,528
About the wedding.

140
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,069
Right. You showed them my wedding video?

141
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:14,031
You know what, it's not actually called
<i>My Wedding Video</i> any more.

142
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,742
It's called The <i>Wedding</i> Video
for copyright reasons.

143
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,214
Frank! Frank!

144
00:10:23,915 --> 00:10:27,169
Frank, they didn't know it was real.
They thought that you were an actor.

145
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,675
Come on, it's not like a million people
haven't seen it already.

146
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:33,349
It wasn't a million people, Bruce.
It was 18 million people.

147
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,647
Okay, I shouldn't have shown it to Jack
without asking you first.

148
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:39,764
You think?

149
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,358
And I shouldn't have put it on the Internet.
That was a mistake!

150
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,148
Okay, Frank, I'm sorry!

151
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,030
Did you just say you were sorry?

152
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,200
I shouldn't have put your wedding tape
on the Internet.

153
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:54,909
I regret it. It was a long time ago.
I've been a shitty brother.

154
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:59,956
But I'm a different person now. I'm sober.
And I would like us to start again.

155
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,041
All right, fine.

156
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,342
I'm gonna cook you breakfast
before you go tomorrow.

157
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,763
See you tomorrow.

158
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,635
I love you, Frank!

159
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,143
Hey, hey, watch it!

160
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,938
- Why aren't you in a car?
- What?

161
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:31,992
This is LA. Nobody walks here.

162
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:36,120
Take a little bit of advice
and learn the lay of the land.

163
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,949
Yeah, well, let me give you some advice.
There's a rehab back there.

164
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,791
Are you trying to say I'm an alcoholic?

165
00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,625
Because that is ridiculous.

166
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:49,043
Alcoholics don't even ride bicycles, buddy.

167
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:55,345
They drive in a car.
So you are that, you are an alcoholic.

168
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,683
Lady, are you okay?

169
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:10,855
Hey.

170
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:15,443
Great.

171
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,495
Lady.

172
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:27,830
Hey.

173
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,195
Fuck!

174
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,363
Where am I?

175
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,288
- In a parking lot.
- Why am I in a parking lot?

176
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:06,707
<i>You passed out.</i>

177
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,419
So you stayed with me?

178
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,209
Yeah.

179
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,880
Okay.
Tell me where you live and I'll take you home.

180
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,223
I don't know where I live any more.

181
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:29,564
I went home today. And my fiancé,
I dressed like this to surprise him.

182
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:34,773
And then I get home and he was there.
And he was playing tag.

183
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:36,774
Tag?

184
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:41,412
Naked tag. With the guy who cleans the pool.

185
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,123
The pool boy, I guess.

186
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:48,420
And he's like, "Babe, what do you mean,
you haven't heard of naked tag before?"

187
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:51,756
"You haven't heard of it?" And I'm like, "No!
I haven't heard of it.

188
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:56,757
"Because it's not even a game, and I'm not
an idiot, so stop saying that it's a game."

189
00:13:56,836 --> 00:14:02,184
He's like, "Babe, I have an erection!
But it's only because I'm super-competitive!"

190
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,262
And I'm like, "Who's competitive in tag?"

191
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,648
"Have you ever even heard of anyone
who's competitive in tag? No!"

192
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:12,444
"Because it's a game that you play
with your friends. It's a friendly game!"

193
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,067
- Fuck.
- Yeah, it's usually pretty friendly.

194
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:21,612
He gets me drunk and then he sits me down
and just tells me everything.

195
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:28,827
I'm sorry. God, I have no idea
why I'm laying all of this on you.

196
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,124
I don't even know you. I'm really sorry.

197
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:34,461
No. It's okay. Really.

198
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,007
I'm sorry.

199
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:51,107
I don't know what your plans are,
but do you maybe wanna go somewhere?

200
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,484
Yeah, you know. Let's go somewhere.

201
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:02,160
Sure. Okay.

202
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,821
Great.

203
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,957
Would you mind putting your seatbelt on?

204
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,501
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter if I live or die.

205
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:11,911
Okay...

206
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:25,133
Wait, no, wait, wait.
My parents are asleep in there.

207
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,177
There's a place in the back.

208
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,839
Shit, that's actually my brother's stuff.

209
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,857
I made this when I was a kid.

210
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:16,230
Cool.

211
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,816
So you don't live here?

212
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:26,069
No, no. I actually live in Death Valley.

213
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,992
And what do you do in Death Valley?

214
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:32,576
I've just been kind of camping out
and trying to write this novel, which is...

215
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,421
- Okay.
- Is that all right?

216
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,548
Um... Yeah, sure.

217
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,510
So what do you write about?

218
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,844
Revenge, mostly.

219
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:49,888
What is your name?

220
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,012
- Frank.
- Frank, I'm Lassie.

221
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,056
- Hi.
- Hi.

222
00:16:55,431 --> 00:17:02,315
So, Frank, I was just wondering
if perhaps you could just want me tonight.

223
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:05,900
You can do, honestly,
whatever you want to me.

224
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,152
Like, really, pretty much anything.

225
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,950
- Okay, Lassie?
- Huh.

226
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,746
Could we maybe kiss first?

227
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:16,578
Yeah. Yeah.

228
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,084
Okay...

229
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,441
- What's the matter?
- What? What?

230
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,737
You're not hard. What's wrong?
Am I doing something wrong?

231
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,564
No. We just started.

232
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,441
Right, but, I mean...

233
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:49,243
- Actually, Lassie, you're kind of squeezing.
- Yeah?

234
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,948
I am? Sorry. Is that better?

235
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:57,288
- I mean, you're still squeezing.
- Really'? Fuck.

236
00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:01,039
- Okay, how about that?
- That's a little better.

237
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:02,373
Yeah?

238
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:07,212
My God, you can eat my bra.
Like, I'm not just saying that. It's edible.

239
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,764
I got it in a sex shop. It's not toxic.

240
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:10,840
- It's a turn-on.
- Lassie.

241
00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,843
I think I'm okay. For now.

242
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,520
Maybe later.

243
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,106
I'll just... I'll keep it on, so, yeah.

244
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:27,608
But you're gonna, like...
You will eventually get hard tonight.

245
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:30,826
Right? I'm just asking.

246
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,028
You will... It'll happen?

247
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,992
It's never been a problem before.

248
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,041
I think we'll be fine.

249
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,036
Great.

250
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:04,899
I'm sorry that I'm crying. It's stupid.
You must feel like enough of a failure.

251
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:15,492
Which you shouldn't.
Lots of guys can't get erections sometimes.

252
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:19,413
God damn it! I just don't understand
why I'm taking care of you.

253
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:23,292
Because, you know what,
this is actually a really fucking horrible

254
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,585
time for this to be happening to me!

255
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:31,593
I just don't understand it,
I don't understand why nobody will fuck me!

256
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,770
Your parents. Right, I'm sorry. Fuck.

257
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,477
Thank you.

258
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,487
Fucking hell.

259
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:53,026
I should just go. So, I'll go.

260
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,447
You don't have to go.

261
00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,374
Really. You don't have to go.

262
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:21,137
Okay. I literally never talk about this.

263
00:20:25,266 --> 00:20:27,735
I found out my fiancée
was cheating at our wedding.

264
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:29,687
Really?

265
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:34,905
We were only getting married
because she was pregnant.

266
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,034
It turns out it wasn't my kid.

267
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,323
Wow.

268
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,207
- My best man.
- No way.

269
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:49,422
What'd you do?

270
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,678
I hit her in the face.

271
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,841
What? Sorry.

272
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:02,304
It wasn't really a hit. It was more like a slap.

273
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:08,017
And then I pulled her hair a little.

274
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:15,233
And then I got an upset stomach
and I threw up on her.

275
00:21:17,568 --> 00:21:18,694
It was fucking terrible.

276
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:24,706
I knew that I knew you from somewhere.
I saw that...

277
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:29,005
- I saw your wedding video! On the Internet.
- Yeah, well, a lot of people did.

278
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,456
Why did you put that on the Internet?

279
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:32,541
I didn't. My brother did.

280
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:36,716
So weird. My friends used
to watch that video all the time.

281
00:21:36,879 --> 00:21:39,428
They thought it was the funniest shit ever.

282
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:44,721
I never did, though.

283
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,229
I thought that it was just sad.

284
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:54,189
Like watching someone get their heart
stepped on, right in front of you.

285
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:55,527
Or something.

286
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:59,702
Well, you're, like, the only person
who ever saw that.

287
00:22:08,536 --> 00:22:11,210
You still hate her? The girl?

288
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:14,466
No.

289
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:18,220
Yeah.

290
00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,764
She sounds exactly like Peter.

291
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:25,937
Just a lying, cheating, whore bitch. My God.

292
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:29,064
Go on.

293
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:34,229
No, I just think that that's really selfish
and cruel and evil.

294
00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,439
And whore-like.

295
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,201
Okay. One more time. Slow.

296
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:46,282
Okay, um... Okay.

297
00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:50,252
She was... What was her name?

298
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:52,496
Sandra.

299
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:55,340
Sandra is a fucking

300
00:22:58,502 --> 00:22:59,719
horrible

301
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:03,011
cunt-face

302
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:05,801
bitch.

303
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,355
And she fucked you up.

304
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:14,811
She fucked you up
and she sent you to Death Valley to die.

305
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:26,247
- Holy shit. Holy shit!
- Okay, now stop talking!

306
00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:28,161
- I can't believe it!
- Please just stop talking.

307
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:03,492
- Morning, Mom.
- Morning, horn dog.

308
00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:05,786
I saw your lady friend leaving.

309
00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,157
I'm gonna take a shower.

310
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:15,914
Hey, bro.

311
00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:18,257
Hey, sorry. I didn't know you had company.

312
00:24:18,332 --> 00:24:20,676
No, that's okay. You remember Claudia, right?
My editor.

313
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:23,383
We weren't... We're just friends.

314
00:24:24,171 --> 00:24:27,801
I mean, she'll come over and let me
eat her out sometimes, but it's not serious.

315
00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:28,884
Hi, Frank.

316
00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:31,725
Wait. Bro, bro. I wanted to talk to you.

317
00:24:34,848 --> 00:24:37,977
I wanted you to know that
I filmed you and that chick last night.

318
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:41,655
And lam glad that I did.
When she hit you with her bike...

319
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:44,984
- it was awesome.
- It was just... Bang! Fucking love happens.

320
00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:46,910
- Italian vibe.
- Let's see what happens next.

321
00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:48,821
Like very early Cassavetes.

322
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:52,534
But I heard you loud and clear
last night when you talked about

323
00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:55,745
wanting to be in the loop
and all that shit, and here's the deal.

324
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:58,255
I dropped a copy
of what I filmed off at Jack's.

325
00:24:58,580 --> 00:24:59,923
- Good for you, baby.
- Get it back.

326
00:25:00,541 --> 00:25:02,384
He asked me to be honest,
and now I've just been honest.

327
00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:03,506
- It's pathetic.
- Bruce...

328
00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:06,801
- Shit. Let me handle this.
- What?

329
00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:10,389
Bro, I'm sorry, okay.

330
00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:16,767
I didn't film you two having the sex.
If that's what you're worried about.

331
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:18,684
I mean, I watched it. But I didn't film it.

332
00:25:18,892 --> 00:25:22,772
Okay. Bruce.
You're going to give me the address.

333
00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:25,191
And I am going to go pick up
whatever it is you gave him.

334
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:27,780
VVhy're you being like this?
We just had a beautiful moment.

335
00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:30,204
- We had another beautiful moment...
- Give me the fucking address!

336
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,697
Boys, stop fighting!

337
00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:36,787
I finally get my life in order! I finally find
someone in the business who believes in me.

338
00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:40,422
And I ask my baby brother for one little
favour to help me achieve my dream.

339
00:25:40,497 --> 00:25:41,544
And will he help?

340
00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:45,844
How is Jack Knoll seeing a movie
of a drunken woman hitting me with her bike

341
00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:47,963
helping you get your dream, Bruce?

342
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:49,424
Stop fighting!

343
00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:52,225
Because it's funny, man. It's fucking funny.

344
00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:54,345
Not as funny <i>as</i> the stuff in the clubhouse.

345
00:25:56,930 --> 00:25:57,977
What did you say?

346
00:25:58,057 --> 00:25:59,058
Nothing.

347
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,944
Bro, you just swore to me
that you didn't film me in the clubhouse.

348
00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:07,651
No, I did not. I swore I didn't
film you having sex. And that was true.

349
00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:14,449
But we had sex in the clubhouse! We had
sex almost immediately in the clubhouse.

350
00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:16,499
I mean, that's what we did in the clubhouse.

351
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,249
That depends on how you define sex.

352
00:26:19,328 --> 00:26:24,129
Personally, I think that sex involves
one of the people having an erection.

353
00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:26,085
- Yeah, that's usually the case.
- Will you shut up?

354
00:26:26,293 --> 00:26:29,888
I'm just saying.
It took quite a while for that to occur.

355
00:26:30,339 --> 00:26:34,640
But when you finally, finally did achieve
that erection, and good for you, bro,

356
00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:38,105
but when you did, I cut.
Because, as far <i>as</i> I'm concerned,

357
00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:41,192
sex is a private thing,
a sacred thing between two people.

358
00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:43,478
- Even if it takes a while.
- Bruce, Bruce.

359
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:47,815
Listen to my rationale.
How many movies have sex in them?

360
00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:49,191
All of them.

361
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:51,322
How many movies have impotence?

362
00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:52,402
None of them.

363
00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:53,905
Impotence makes us pop.

364
00:26:55,906 --> 00:26:56,998
Am I wrong?

365
00:26:58,867 --> 00:26:59,868
Wow, wow.

366
00:27:00,327 --> 00:27:02,580
You just hate that I'm making
something of my life, don't you?

367
00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:04,461
You just hate the fact that I'm a director now.

368
00:27:04,540 --> 00:27:06,542
No. I don't. You know why?

369
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:10,721
Because you're not a director.
You're a fucking pervert. And a freak.

370
00:27:11,046 --> 00:27:15,643
Well, listen to this. Action. Cut. Action. Cut.

371
00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:21,224
Fucking action. That is directing, my friend.

372
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:25,895
Come on, man. Just let him watch it once.

373
00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:29,486
Did it even occur to you there's
another person in your stupid film?

374
00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:31,112
I mean, did you even think about that?

375
00:27:32,401 --> 00:27:33,823
Mr Knoll!

376
00:27:36,113 --> 00:27:39,242
Jack? Jack?

377
00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:45,171
- You just gonna walk in?
- Yes.

378
00:27:45,247 --> 00:27:48,421
Jack? Hello?

379
00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:00,596
Buddy?

380
00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:08,278
Is this his house?

381
00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:10,151
Must be redecorating.

382
00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:12,278
Jackie-boy?

383
00:28:17,738 --> 00:28:18,739
Hey, man.

384
00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:20,871
Hey. Almost done.

385
00:28:21,116 --> 00:28:23,619
What's up? You look amazing.

386
00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:26,539
Where's all your stuff, bro?

387
00:28:26,622 --> 00:28:30,126
Collection agency. Said they're
coming for my treadmill this morning.

388
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,294
Let them try. Let them try!

389
00:28:32,461 --> 00:28:34,805
- He's got a gun. It's a gun. That's a gun.
- He's virile.

390
00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:37,887
- Mr Knoll.
- Call me Jack, son. How's my form?

391
00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:43,222
Pretty good.
So, my brother dropped off a DVD...

392
00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:44,730
DVD. Haven't seen it yet.

393
00:28:44,848 --> 00:28:47,647
I thought you said that you were gonna
watch it before your agent came over.

394
00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:51,063
Agent dropped me as a client.
Said no one'll hire me. Fuck him.

395
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:54,616
Should've fired him years ago.
Got me up for grampa roles now.

396
00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:58,286
Come here. Look at this. Come here.
Hit my <i>ass.</i>

397
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:01,244
Frank, hit it. Really hit it. Hit my ass.

398
00:29:01,531 --> 00:29:03,374
- I am not hitting his ass.
- Punch his fucking ass.

399
00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:04,952
Come on! Hit it hard!

400
00:29:05,827 --> 00:29:09,331
Yeah, damn right!
Does that feel like a grampa ass to you?

401
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:10,415
Not at all.

402
00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:12,877
That ass is harder than a dick on Viagra.

403
00:29:13,043 --> 00:29:16,172
But, no, I got an agent who says,
"Take the grampa roles.

404
00:29:16,296 --> 00:29:17,843
- "They die at the end."
- He's a lunatic.

405
00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:19,338
I don't wanna die. I don't wanna cry.
I wanna fuck!

406
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,014
We gotta get the DVD
and get the fuck out of here.

407
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:23,721
Bruce, we gotta do movies
where there's lots of fucking!

408
00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:26,348
Don't worry, I can see it in your eyes, I'm fine.

409
00:29:27,182 --> 00:29:29,856
Watch this, motherfuckers!
Where's my addiction, Bruce?

410
00:29:29,935 --> 00:29:32,358
- Way back there, Jack!
- Can you see it, Bruce?

411
00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:36,446
- It's fucking way over there!
- Fuck you, addiction. You cannot catch me!

412
00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:39,657
- I win! I win! I win!
- YOu win!

413
00:29:41,989 --> 00:29:43,707
Come on! Let's watch your movie.

414
00:29:44,241 --> 00:29:45,242
Action!

415
00:29:45,575 --> 00:29:47,043
<i>Hey, hey, watch it!</i>

416
00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:51,544
- Make him turn it off.
- I can't. He's enjoying it.

417
00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:55,378
Frank, you got talent!

418
00:29:56,003 --> 00:29:57,346
I can see it!

419
00:29:57,713 --> 00:29:59,090
Isn't the camera work good?

420
00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:01,258
Frank?

421
00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:07,306
- What are you doing?
- Shit!

422
00:30:07,389 --> 00:30:08,857
What the fuck are you doing?

423
00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:11,727
What the fuck was that?

424
00:30:11,977 --> 00:30:13,524
- You didn't see that spark?
- What?

425
00:30:13,603 --> 00:30:14,775
What are you doing here?

426
00:30:14,980 --> 00:30:16,277
That'll dry right out.

427
00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:17,820
What are you doing here?

428
00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:20,904
Frank? You know my daughter?

429
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:22,362
She's your daughter?

430
00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:24,619
Dad, could you maybe put some clothes on?
Maybe?

431
00:30:24,781 --> 00:30:26,499
- This is your dad?
- Yeah.

432
00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:28,410
Hi.

433
00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:30,958
How do you know my Lassie?

434
00:30:31,371 --> 00:30:33,373
Rehab, from rehab. Last night.

435
00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,585
I was late. I was on my way to see you...

436
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,510
- Yep, exactly. Exactly.
- ...and I ran into him.

437
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:42,012
- How do you know my father?
- My brother was his roommate.

438
00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:43,850
Hey, in rehab.

439
00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:46,303
- Brother? The brother...
- Yep. Mmm-That one.

440
00:30:46,595 --> 00:30:47,847
- I'm gonna finish my workout.
- Okay.

441
00:30:47,929 --> 00:30:49,681
Then let's all have
a calm breakfast inside.

442
00:30:49,765 --> 00:30:50,937
What a coincidence.

443
00:30:51,058 --> 00:30:52,526
He's an amazing man, your father.

444
00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:56,272
- Jack, don't forget the treadmill's on!
- Shit!

445
00:31:05,572 --> 00:31:06,573
But I fell...

446
00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:08,833
What is wrong with you?

447
00:31:08,909 --> 00:31:10,957
People are
not just wandering around,

448
00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:13,004
waiting for you to make movies
about them, Bruce.

449
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,926
This is a public place, Frankie. If they don't
wanna be filmed, they shouldn't come here.

450
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,468
Where are you going?
Where are you taking me?

451
00:31:18,794 --> 00:31:22,344
- Going home, Dad. We're going home.
- No, take me back in there! You're the doctor!

452
00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:25,392
- OxyContin! Just get me them, damn it!
- He's an orderly. Will you just calm...

453
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:27,094
- What's wrong?
- He wants drugs.

454
00:31:27,177 --> 00:31:28,224
Jack!

455
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,976
Come here, please. Please, listen to me, man.

456
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:31,602
Look, lam in deep pain, man.

457
00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:35,311
- The doctor said I needed some painkillers.
- The doctor said Advil was fine.

458
00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:37,946
- He told me OxyContin.
- He did not say...

459
00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:40,407
He did not say OxyContin.
He said OxyContin.

460
00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:41,650
Give me a Darvon.

461
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:44,616
Okay, Jack, listen to me,
drugs aren't your friend. I am your friend.

462
00:31:44,694 --> 00:31:47,243
And what I'm going to do, <i>as</i> your friend,
I'm gonna take you to a meeting.

463
00:31:47,322 --> 00:31:48,995
Can I have your car keys?
I'm gonna take him to a meeting.

464
00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:53,078
Make sure you get that DVD!

465
00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:03,884
Well, it's nice to see you again.

466
00:32:03,964 --> 00:32:07,343
Yeah, you really don't have to say that to me.

467
00:32:07,676 --> 00:32:08,768
What are you talking about?

468
00:32:08,844 --> 00:32:12,690
I mean, I knew you weren't going to call me,
which is actually totally fine. So...

469
00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:18,484
I already did. Twice. Check your phone.

470
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:26,196
I don't believe it.
Look, Frank, I don't do what we did last night.

471
00:32:26,862 --> 00:32:31,709
Okay. And I know that lots of girls say that,
but I really never, ever, ever do that stuff.

472
00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:33,285
Okay...

473
00:32:33,368 --> 00:32:36,588
And now it turns out that
you know my father, who I want to kill,

474
00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:41,632
and anytime I get sucked back
into his whole crazy world,

475
00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:43,758
it ends very, very badly. So...

476
00:32:48,091 --> 00:32:50,890
Lassie, I actually don't know your dad.

477
00:32:50,969 --> 00:32:55,566
But I do know what it's like
to want to kill a relative.

478
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:59,986
Hey, look,
I'm not trying to suck you into anything,

479
00:33:01,104 --> 00:33:06,406
I'd just really love go out on, like,
a regular date with you. You know?

480
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:11,957
We could see a movie. Maybe get something
to eat that isn't part of your underwear.

481
00:33:20,332 --> 00:33:24,178
Hi, everyone. My name is Jack,
and I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict.

482
00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:26,046
Hi, Jack.

483
00:33:26,171 --> 00:33:32,019
Drugs and alcohol
cost me my career as a movie star.

484
00:33:32,427 --> 00:33:37,183
And I only say that up in case any of you
doubt that this disease can take away

485
00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:39,017
the things that you love most.

486
00:33:41,353 --> 00:33:44,607
That's what happened to me.
Just one more thing.

487
00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:48,323
If any of you ladies wanted to have sex with
me back when I was a somebody

488
00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:51,951
and didn't get a chance, meet me out back.
I also have a pool.

489
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:04,926
Have you ever worked at a strip club?

490
00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:06,298
- Bruce?
- Yeah.

491
00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:08,972
- Hi. My name's David.
- Hi.

492
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:10,932
- This is my wife, Natalie.
- Hello.

493
00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:14,474
We related to everything you said
in the meeting.

494
00:34:14,594 --> 00:34:16,517
We wanted to be
in the movie business our whole lives.

495
00:34:16,638 --> 00:34:22,236
And when we got sober, we swore we'd
finally do what we were supposed to do.

496
00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:24,813
That's why we started our company.

497
00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:29,697
- Los Angeles Pictures.
- Los Angeles. "Angels."

498
00:34:31,444 --> 00:34:33,162
Did you know that angels are everywhere?

499
00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:36,662
- I did not know that, David.
- There's one standing next to you.

500
00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:40,499
Don't be afraid. That's Sonya. She follows us.

501
00:34:43,415 --> 00:34:46,134
Did you come with Jack Knoll?
Are you friends?

502
00:34:47,252 --> 00:34:49,175
Jack? Yeah. Big time, good friend.

503
00:34:49,337 --> 00:34:50,884
No, hit it, hit it, hit it.

504
00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:55,518
Do you think that you and Jack would be
interested in making movies with us

505
00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:56,682
about angels?

506
00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:59,473
Thanks to dentistry,
we have plenty of money.

507
00:35:01,182 --> 00:35:03,355
You guys are like Christian tooth fairies.

508
00:35:05,353 --> 00:35:06,445
That's amazing.

509
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,398
We're ready to go.

510
00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:11,781
We're just looking for
like-minded artists to join us.

511
00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:13,365
You know what's weird?

512
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:18,542
Jack, only yesterday, was talking about
how much he loves angels.

513
00:35:19,743 --> 00:35:20,915
My God.

514
00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:24,297
- It's a miracle.
- It's a miracle.

515
00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:26,966
So, how much money do you guys have?

516
00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:29,549
- We have a lot.
- Shh.

517
00:35:31,421 --> 00:35:32,468
Should we pray?

518
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:33,890
- Let's!
- Let's pray.

519
00:35:49,439 --> 00:35:52,943
- Whoa. Whoa, whoa, Claudia...
- Shhh.

520
00:35:54,235 --> 00:35:56,329
Be very quiet.

521
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:00,500
Help! Mom!

522
00:36:00,617 --> 00:36:02,039
Shut the fuck up!

523
00:36:02,577 --> 00:36:04,420
Okay. Okay. Just do it.

524
00:36:09,918 --> 00:36:11,841
- Hey, bro.
- Where you been?

525
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,672
Well, Jack and I went to a meeting.

526
00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:16,554
After which I was approached by
some very serious film producers.

527
00:36:16,633 --> 00:36:18,556
I need my keys. I'm late to meet Lassie.

528
00:36:18,635 --> 00:36:21,605
- Okay. Have a good time.
- You got the DVD, right'?

529
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,682
Weren't you supposed to get the DVD?

530
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,360
How do you know he's not home?

531
00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:30,188
He stayed for another meeting.
So, where are you going to take Lassie?

532
00:36:30,271 --> 00:36:32,774
Just get the DVD out of the player
and stop talking.

533
00:36:32,857 --> 00:36:34,951
Why are you always so mean to me?

534
00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:39,698
- It's fucking gone.
- Shh!

535
00:36:39,781 --> 00:36:41,249
He's sleeping.

536
00:36:42,117 --> 00:36:43,664
Fine.

537
00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:46,000
Where are you going?

538
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:48,289
I'm going to get it.

539
00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:54,554
What if he has an alarm?

540
00:36:54,629 --> 00:36:57,599
You think he has an alarm?
He has no furniture.

541
00:36:57,674 --> 00:36:59,893
But you think he's gonna pay for an alarm?

542
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,891
Use your head, Frankie.

543
00:37:02,262 --> 00:37:04,264
I'm sorry! I'm not a goddamn criminal.

544
00:37:04,347 --> 00:37:07,851
Yeah, well, it's just <i>as</i> well,
because you'd be a terrible one.

545
00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,896
Just, fuck... Bruce, the guy has guns.

546
00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:15,029
I know he has guns! And he will use them
on us if he ever watches that video.

547
00:37:15,483 --> 00:37:16,826
So are you gonna help me get it back?

548
00:37:16,901 --> 00:37:19,450
Or are you gonna stand out here
all night and whine like a little bitch?

549
00:37:19,529 --> 00:37:21,202
I'm a bitch'? I'm a bitch?

550
00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:24,410
Then how come you're the one always
sucking Jack Knoll's balls?

551
00:37:24,492 --> 00:37:26,460
He's my friend!

552
00:37:28,913 --> 00:37:31,291
Holy shit. The pig is in the pool.

553
00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:34,090
The pig is in the pool? Fuck.

554
00:37:34,169 --> 00:37:35,295
He's fine. He's swimming.

555
00:37:36,129 --> 00:37:38,302
What're you talking about? Pigs can't swim!

556
00:37:38,923 --> 00:37:42,427
Jack shouldn't have kept a pig by the pool.
It's irresponsible. It's not our fault.

557
00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:44,137
We are not leaving him in there.

558
00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:45,392
Fine. You go get him.

559
00:37:45,472 --> 00:37:47,395
You get him! I'm going on a date after this.

560
00:37:47,474 --> 00:37:48,817
- I can't swim.
- What?

561
00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:52,396
I can't swim, Frankie. I never have.
I don't like water.

562
00:37:52,479 --> 00:37:53,947
I can't even drink the stuff.

563
00:37:54,481 --> 00:37:55,983
You fuck!

564
00:38:06,159 --> 00:38:08,582
I think he's dead. I think he's dead!

565
00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:10,705
- Heimlich him!
- Heimlich him?

566
00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:13,458
Do it! Heimlich him!

567
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:15,214
Squeeze his little belly.

568
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,894
Is that a condom?

569
00:38:26,095 --> 00:38:27,392
Yeah, that's definitely a condom.

570
00:38:27,931 --> 00:38:29,604
Get it off.

571
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,560
- Who the fuck is out here?
- Jack, Jack!

572
00:38:31,768 --> 00:38:33,736
It's Bruce. Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

573
00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:36,231
- What are you doing here?
- I was worried about you.

574
00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:37,991
Hey, Dharma D-Cup.

575
00:38:38,066 --> 00:38:41,195
And I thought it would be good
if I could be here when you got home.

576
00:38:41,277 --> 00:38:44,827
And it's a good that we were,
because your pig fell in the pool, man.

577
00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:46,499
- Is he all right?
- He's fine.

578
00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:47,575
We saved him.

579
00:38:48,117 --> 00:38:49,369
Mr Knoll.

580
00:38:49,536 --> 00:38:53,962
Since we're already here, would you like us
to get the DVD player fixed?

581
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:55,587
That's a good idea, Frankie.

582
00:38:55,667 --> 00:38:57,089
Don't worry about it.

583
00:38:57,252 --> 00:39:00,005
My housekeeper took it home with her.
Her husband fixes them.

584
00:39:27,991 --> 00:39:29,368
Hey, GUYS...

585
00:39:29,450 --> 00:39:32,044
We're looking for Ramon and Celia.

586
00:39:32,453 --> 00:39:33,796
They just left for now, bro.

587
00:39:34,998 --> 00:39:36,375
Right. Um...

588
00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:37,709
Do you know where they went?

589
00:39:37,792 --> 00:39:39,510
None of your business.

590
00:39:41,421 --> 00:39:43,344
You're done now?

591
00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:45,642
What's up, homes? Listen,

592
00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:49,563
Cecilia, the Chiquita who lives here,
she works for a guy called Jack Knoll.

593
00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:54,143
You know Jack Knoll? He's a big TV actor.

594
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,023
You don't have a TV. That's okay.

595
00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:58,696
Jack's a really good amigo of mine.

596
00:39:58,771 --> 00:40:02,071
And he sent me over to just grab
something from...

597
00:40:02,150 --> 00:40:03,322
They just left. If want to come back a little...

598
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,402
Maybe we'll just have a quick look inside.

599
00:40:04,485 --> 00:40:06,487
Maybe I'll just break your fucking legs
if you take another step.

600
00:40:07,196 --> 00:40:08,448
You're gonna do it?

601
00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:12,248
Okay. You're a lot bigger standing up.

602
00:40:12,368 --> 00:40:14,871
- Sorry to disturb you.
- Just get the fuck out of here.

603
00:40:14,954 --> 00:40:16,501
See that.

604
00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:43,946
I can see it. It's just here.

605
00:40:44,025 --> 00:40:45,117
My God.

606
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:50,373
You have to do it.

607
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,291
- What?
- You have to go in.

608
00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:56,246
I swore on my sobriety that
I wouldn't steal any more, Frank.

609
00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:59,921
And besides, breaking and entering
a stranger's home is definitely a felony

610
00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:01,546
and I've already got two strikes.

611
00:41:01,626 --> 00:41:03,344
If you think
you're going to manipulate me and...

612
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:04,762
Fine.

613
00:41:05,088 --> 00:41:07,762
I'll go. I'll do it. It's fine.

614
00:41:08,591 --> 00:41:10,343
Bruce, neither of us should do it!

615
00:41:10,426 --> 00:41:13,521
Frank, if I get caught
and go down for 3O years,

616
00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:15,018
will you do me a favour?

617
00:41:15,098 --> 00:41:17,647
Promise you won't put Mom
in a nursing home.

618
00:41:20,603 --> 00:41:22,196
All right. Wait. Wait.

619
00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:33,120
- Stop pushing.
- Okay.

620
00:41:40,373 --> 00:41:41,374
You Okay?

621
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:34,886
What are you doing?

622
00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:36,642
He's attacking me.

623
00:42:36,721 --> 00:42:37,722
Shake him off!

624
00:42:38,181 --> 00:42:40,058
He's really strong!

625
00:42:40,141 --> 00:42:42,109
Frank, Frank! Stab him!

626
00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:44,108
- What?
- Take this knife and stab him!

627
00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:45,734
I'm not fucking stabbing him, Bruce.

628
00:42:45,813 --> 00:42:47,611
He's, like, a million years old.
It doesn't matter.

629
00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:49,988
Okay, just bring him over here. I'll stab him.

630
00:42:51,944 --> 00:42:53,696
He fucking bit me!

631
00:42:54,655 --> 00:42:55,656
Give me the DVD player!

632
00:43:00,620 --> 00:43:01,621
Good luck.

633
00:43:03,081 --> 00:43:05,129
Bruce! Bruce!

634
00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,209
What the fuck?

635
00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:18,763
It really took you 14 hours to get me out?

636
00:43:18,846 --> 00:43:21,440
When Bruce gets arrested,
we always let him spend the night.

637
00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:23,860
Your mother and I
decided we shouldn't play favourites.

638
00:43:24,852 --> 00:43:27,105
Bruce is a fucking criminal!

639
00:43:27,188 --> 00:43:28,610
Ex-criminal.

640
00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:31,033
And you are scarcely
in any position to judge.

641
00:43:31,776 --> 00:43:32,777
Here.

642
00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:43,371
Stop sign!

643
00:44:03,141 --> 00:44:05,644
- Hello.
- I am so sorry about last night.

644
00:44:05,726 --> 00:44:08,024
Don't even worry about it. Bruce called me.

645
00:44:08,104 --> 00:44:09,856
He told me all about your father's scare.

646
00:44:09,939 --> 00:44:11,532
Are they sure that it's not a heart attack?

647
00:44:12,525 --> 00:44:14,072
Yeah, he's...

648
00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:16,742
They said he's fine.

649
00:44:16,821 --> 00:44:17,822
Good.

650
00:44:17,989 --> 00:44:19,366
So...

651
00:44:19,782 --> 00:44:20,999
You want to get together later?

652
00:44:22,076 --> 00:44:23,794
Right, well...

653
00:44:24,704 --> 00:44:27,082
Frank, I just don't think that I have the time.

654
00:44:28,749 --> 00:44:31,093
Right. Okay.

655
00:44:31,627 --> 00:44:33,254
The relief organisation that I work for,

656
00:44:33,337 --> 00:44:36,056
they just offered me this position
in China that I'm thinking about taking.

657
00:44:36,132 --> 00:44:38,760
<i>So, it's just kinda crazy right now.</i>

658
00:44:40,136 --> 00:44:44,357
But if I'm ever in Death Valley, then,
you know, I'll absolutely give you a call.

659
00:44:45,349 --> 00:44:46,726
Okay...

660
00:44:48,436 --> 00:44:50,689
Okay. Have a safe trip.

661
00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:00,163
Fuck.

662
00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:05,248
Hey, bro. I got it.

663
00:45:05,328 --> 00:45:06,671
All broken up.

664
00:45:09,290 --> 00:45:12,009
I also got all the tape. That's for you as well.

665
00:45:12,793 --> 00:45:15,387
And don't worry.
Jack's maid isn't going to press charges.

666
00:45:17,506 --> 00:45:18,723
Are you okay, bro?

667
00:45:18,799 --> 00:45:20,597
Did someone touch you in prison?

668
00:45:23,429 --> 00:45:24,851
Have my car keys?

669
00:45:27,850 --> 00:45:30,399
Look at me and tell me
you don't have any more copies.

670
00:45:33,189 --> 00:45:36,489
I swear, on my sobriety,

671
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,153
that I don't have any more copies.

672
00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:51,170
Now swear that no one else has any.

673
00:45:55,002 --> 00:45:59,098
Okay, since your impotence is
apparently so embarrassing to you,

674
00:45:59,173 --> 00:46:02,473
I had Claudia completely re-edit my movie.

675
00:46:02,551 --> 00:46:05,304
Which means, technically,
I don't even have to show it to you.

676
00:46:05,763 --> 00:46:08,892
Because as you will soon see, this movie
no longer has anything to do with you.

677
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:12,525
But I'm happy for you to see it
because you're my brother and I love you.

678
00:46:13,271 --> 00:46:14,693
Claudia, play it for him.

679
00:46:14,855 --> 00:46:17,199
Well, what you're about to see,
in my opinion,

680
00:46:17,275 --> 00:46:20,950
is a serious step back
from the integrity of Bruce's original work.

681
00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:22,120
Could you just press play, please?

682
00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:24,790
Okay, will you just stop
yelling at me, please?

683
00:46:24,865 --> 00:46:26,333
- I'm not even yelling at you.
- You're being rude.

684
00:46:26,409 --> 00:46:27,786
Just play it.

685
00:46:40,256 --> 00:46:41,382
- What's wrong?
- What?

686
00:46:41,465 --> 00:46:42,762
<i>- What's wrong?
- What?</i>

687
00:46:42,842 --> 00:46:45,311
<i>You're not hard. What's wrong?
Am I doing something wrong?</i>

688
00:46:45,386 --> 00:46:47,559
<i>No, no, no. We just started.</i>

689
00:46:50,057 --> 00:46:51,479
<i>- Actually, Lassie.
- Yeah?</i>

690
00:46:51,559 --> 00:46:52,731
<i>You're kind of squeezing.</i>

691
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:56,610
I originally planned to put
fuzz face on the genitals.

692
00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:59,863
But it's actually a lot funnier with genitals.

693
00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:03,162
Especially since you were
having so much trouble with your genitals.

694
00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:04,823
I'm sorry. Who the fuck are you?

695
00:47:04,905 --> 00:47:07,408
This is Arthur. Arthur, this is Frank.

696
00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:10,290
Arthur's a bigwig in the whole
in the whole fuzz face game.

697
00:47:10,411 --> 00:47:12,664
And what exactly did you plan
to do with this?

698
00:47:12,747 --> 00:47:15,296
It's going to be submitted it to a
sex-tape site in the valley.

699
00:47:15,416 --> 00:47:17,965
It's a do-it-yourself fornication
and lighting emporium, called.

700
00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:20,422
ChooseALam pAndGo F uckEachOther. Com.

701
00:47:20,629 --> 00:47:21,755
<i>Please get hard.</i>

702
00:47:22,089 --> 00:47:24,683
<i>Please get hard. Please get hard.
Please get hard.</i>

703
00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:26,970
Shit.

704
00:47:27,053 --> 00:47:29,021
Frank, you ungrateful little bitch.

705
00:47:29,096 --> 00:47:31,064
We did this so you wouldn't have to
be embarrassed!

706
00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:42,534
Hey, idiots.
I uploaded it without the fuzz face.

707
00:47:42,610 --> 00:47:44,863
Now your film is going to be seen
the way it was meant to be seen.

708
00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:48,620
What?

709
00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:51,460
<i>Are you into lesbians?</i>

710
00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:53,082
<i>That's a thing with guys, right?</i>

711
00:47:53,329 --> 00:47:54,956
The girl is Jack Knoll's daughter!

712
00:47:55,039 --> 00:47:56,461
Great art hurts, Bruce.

713
00:47:56,957 --> 00:48:00,882
<i>Mmm... Boobs. I love your boobs.</i>

714
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:07,927
Do not honk my horn.

715
00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:09,011
Can you go around him?

716
00:48:11,305 --> 00:48:14,104
Look who's suddenly
nervous about someone seeing the movie.

717
00:48:14,183 --> 00:48:16,561
Yes, I'm nervous about being killed!

718
00:48:16,644 --> 00:48:19,238
As soon as he sees that video,
you don't think he's gonna kill you, too?

719
00:48:20,022 --> 00:48:22,116
I am nervous about being actually shot!

720
00:48:22,191 --> 00:48:24,614
Not about the possibility of maybe
somebody on the Internet

721
00:48:24,693 --> 00:48:26,866
seeing my embarrassing weiner.

722
00:48:32,326 --> 00:48:33,953
No. Open hand! Open hand!

723
00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:06,031
- Hey.
- Excuse me.

724
00:49:08,028 --> 00:49:10,076
Kip, Kip, it's him, it's him.

725
00:49:11,866 --> 00:49:13,243
Your video was dope, dawg.

726
00:49:13,325 --> 00:49:14,542
I'm the director.

727
00:49:15,077 --> 00:49:17,455
The most original sex tape ever.

728
00:49:17,538 --> 00:49:18,710
Shut your mouth.

729
00:49:19,123 --> 00:49:20,124
We'd like it back.

730
00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:24,257
I mean, a sex tape with no sex.
That is just genius.

731
00:49:24,336 --> 00:49:27,715
Yeah, it was great. The thing is,
it was actually sent to you by mistake.

732
00:49:27,798 --> 00:49:30,017
So, we're really gonna need you to destroy it.

733
00:49:30,092 --> 00:49:32,595
I can't do that.
Once it goes up, it's up for 72 hours.

734
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:35,064
Wait, wait, wait.
You're saying it's on the Internet now?

735
00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:37,517
Come, check it out.
You got some great feedback, dawg.

736
00:49:37,850 --> 00:49:38,817
Come on, man. Take a look here.

737
00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:42,397
Dad! Cut it with the welding, man. Come on!

738
00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:44,733
- Are these all for me?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. See?

739
00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:47,193
Here's the deal,
either take it down right now, or...

740
00:49:47,276 --> 00:49:49,244
- ls five boners good?
- Five boners is great.

741
00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:51,656
- That's five out of five.
- Five out of five boners.

742
00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:52,956
And they're really stingy with boners.

743
00:49:53,032 --> 00:49:56,332
Yeah, they don't give boners for anybody.
Dad! We have customers!

744
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:58,663
- Hey, pal, pal, you wanna negotiate?
- No, I don't.

745
00:49:58,746 --> 00:50:00,714
They call me Alfred Bitchcock.

746
00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:04,006
That's hilarious.
I don't know what that means, though.

747
00:50:04,084 --> 00:50:05,802
- You want a car?
- I don't want a car.

748
00:50:05,878 --> 00:50:07,175
I got a '93 Honda right outside.

749
00:50:07,254 --> 00:50:09,097
I have a DUI and I drive a Vespa.

750
00:50:09,215 --> 00:50:11,343
"Kinky In Kualalumpa" thinks that
I'm a visionary.

751
00:50:11,425 --> 00:50:14,804
If other men are on our site
and they see a guy like you

752
00:50:14,887 --> 00:50:18,937
having trouble getting an erection,
keeping an erection, forming an erection...

753
00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:20,017
Right.

754
00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:22,102
I think that they'll feel a lot
better about themselves.

755
00:50:22,228 --> 00:50:23,855
I don't want to be too forward,

756
00:50:23,938 --> 00:50:26,032
but would you like to maybe get some
coffee or something later?

757
00:50:26,106 --> 00:50:27,483
- Anytime.
- That'd be great.

758
00:50:27,566 --> 00:50:29,910
Like, wait, did you mean romantically?

759
00:50:29,985 --> 00:50:31,953
Most certainly romantically.

760
00:50:32,071 --> 00:50:33,869
- Bruce, can we leave, please?
- Sure.

761
00:50:34,490 --> 00:50:35,833
All right. Hey, send us more stuff.

762
00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:38,252
Seriously, guys, you cannot fucking
mess with people's lives like this.

763
00:50:38,327 --> 00:50:39,670
I really appreciate your support.

764
00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:42,294
You will take this down, or you
will face the fucking consequences.

765
00:50:42,373 --> 00:50:43,966
I will call you, okay? About this.

766
00:50:44,792 --> 00:50:46,214
Did you think I didn'tjust see that?

767
00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:50,298
You heard the guy. They've only got, like,
15,000 subscribers tops.

768
00:50:50,381 --> 00:50:53,635
Mostly in Asia.
And he's going to take it down in 72 hours.

769
00:50:53,717 --> 00:50:55,811
I am not waiting 72 hours.

770
00:50:56,470 --> 00:50:58,973
Why are you so embarrassed about
your impotency'?

771
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:01,984
I don't have impotency!

772
00:51:03,352 --> 00:51:05,571
I had a brief one-time-only episode.

773
00:51:05,646 --> 00:51:09,150
It happens to everyone.
I was impotent last night.

774
00:51:09,817 --> 00:51:12,616
I know. I was.
I mean, I had just watched your video.

775
00:51:12,695 --> 00:51:16,575
So, it was probably just some kind of
fraternal sympathy softie. But even so...

776
00:51:16,657 --> 00:51:19,251
Claudia had to put three fingers
up my ass last night to get me hard.

777
00:51:19,326 --> 00:51:21,829
I understand your pain. Family.

778
00:51:21,912 --> 00:51:25,633
Hey. David! No this is a good time.
I've just come from church.

779
00:51:36,010 --> 00:51:37,262
Do you want me to hum?

780
00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:38,937
<i>It's just my jaw hurts.</i>

781
00:51:39,013 --> 00:51:40,515
Mother of God...

782
00:51:40,889 --> 00:51:41,936
Okay, Dad! That's enough.

783
00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:44,769
Well, that was excruciating.

784
00:51:44,852 --> 00:51:46,274
Just tell me you can get it down.

785
00:51:46,353 --> 00:51:48,401
This is out of our area of expertise.

786
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,653
Although Sydney did just e-mail me

787
00:51:50,733 --> 00:51:53,282
that it is illegal to film someone
in an unflattering manner

788
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:54,452
without their knowledge.

789
00:51:54,528 --> 00:51:56,872
And that was definitely unflattering.

790
00:51:56,947 --> 00:51:57,948
- Dad!
- What?

791
00:51:58,032 --> 00:51:59,249
Sydney, he's my partner.

792
00:51:59,325 --> 00:52:01,578
How am I supposed to help you
if I don't know what's going on'?

793
00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:03,875
Listen, I think you should call Judge Collins,

794
00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:06,377
have him issue a take-down order.

795
00:52:06,457 --> 00:52:07,879
Here's his number. Thank you, dear.

796
00:52:10,377 --> 00:52:12,926
You gotta be kidding me!
You showed the intern?

797
00:52:13,005 --> 00:52:15,007
Everything here is confidential!

798
00:52:21,513 --> 00:52:23,231
- They're dentists?
- That's right.

799
00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:26,811
And they are super rich, Morn, and
they wanna make a movie with Jack and I.

800
00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:28,942
- That's fantastic.
- I know.

801
00:52:29,021 --> 00:52:30,694
I'd love to have you involved in some way.

802
00:52:30,773 --> 00:52:32,571
- Me?
- Of course.

803
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:35,403
It's been too long since you and I
have created art together.

804
00:52:35,486 --> 00:52:37,284
When did you two ever make art together?

805
00:52:37,404 --> 00:52:39,156
My painting.

806
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:41,037
Don't you remember I sat for that?

807
00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:42,493
Yes.

808
00:52:42,701 --> 00:52:46,797
Great things are happening.
Sobriety has worked wonders with your life.

809
00:52:46,872 --> 00:52:48,840
Excuse me, am I invisible?

810
00:52:48,916 --> 00:52:52,136
Your beautiful sober son just put me in
a porn video without my permission.

811
00:52:52,252 --> 00:52:54,505
Stop it. There is nothing in that video

812
00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:57,091
that earns it the title of porn and you know it.

813
00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,222
You watched it?

814
00:52:59,301 --> 00:53:01,178
- You showed it to Mom?
- You showed it to Dad.

815
00:53:01,261 --> 00:53:02,934
To help get it down.

816
00:53:03,013 --> 00:53:04,356
Mom, why would you watch that?

817
00:53:04,431 --> 00:53:07,856
I watch all of Bruce's films.
Besides, there is nothing wrong

818
00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:10,279
with a mother seeing her son's
penis in repose.

819
00:53:10,354 --> 00:53:13,449
Had you gotten aroused,
I would've stopped watching.

820
00:53:13,524 --> 00:53:15,526
Can we stop talking about this?

821
00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:20,115
I am seeing ajudge tomorrow
and all of this is going to be behind us.

822
00:53:20,197 --> 00:53:21,540
Stop being such a drama queen.

823
00:53:21,615 --> 00:53:24,038
Mom, I'm on a website
where people fuck fruit.

824
00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:26,337
It is not people. It is one man.
And it's very funny.

825
00:53:26,412 --> 00:53:28,130
And don't talk with your mouth full.

826
00:53:28,205 --> 00:53:30,674
My God. Please be poison.

827
00:53:30,749 --> 00:53:32,217
When did he become such a prude?

828
00:53:32,292 --> 00:53:35,171
You know, I hate to say it,
but I think I agree with her on this one.

829
00:53:35,254 --> 00:53:37,803
What was the point of your mother
and I having sex with the door open

830
00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:40,384
if we were raising a puritan?

831
00:53:40,467 --> 00:53:42,060
- Dad.
- Thank you, my darling.

832
00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:46,231
May I be excused?

833
00:53:46,306 --> 00:53:48,479
Look who's finally being polite.

834
00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:51,980
You know, some nights I really miss
the sound of you guys making love.

835
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:53,648
Yeah. Me, too.

836
00:53:54,523 --> 00:53:56,525
I'm so sorry. I didn't know who else to call.

837
00:53:56,942 --> 00:53:58,660
What is going on?

838
00:53:58,777 --> 00:54:02,031
I swear to God, if you fire one more shot,
I'll fucking kill you.

839
00:54:02,114 --> 00:54:03,991
My fiancé!

840
00:54:04,575 --> 00:54:08,580
My fiancé called him and told him everything.
I have no idea what he was thinking.

841
00:54:08,662 --> 00:54:11,757
So, of course, my dad just
totally flips out and he goes to grab his gun.

842
00:54:11,832 --> 00:54:13,584
So I just locked him in there, in the shed.

843
00:54:13,709 --> 00:54:17,213
And is this his normal reaction
to a situation like this?

844
00:54:17,504 --> 00:54:21,134
He's freakishly protective of me,
in his own weird way.

845
00:54:21,216 --> 00:54:25,016
- Jack! Hey, buddy, it's Bruce.
- Stay out of this.

846
00:54:25,429 --> 00:54:29,559
I'm gonna open the door,
but you have to give me your gun.

847
00:54:29,641 --> 00:54:30,938
- No.
- The thing is, Jack,

848
00:54:31,018 --> 00:54:33,897
it's really not cool to shoot people any more.

849
00:54:34,730 --> 00:54:37,734
It's illegal.
Besides, I've got really good news.

850
00:54:37,816 --> 00:54:39,363
What news?

851
00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:42,037
I am opening the door.

852
00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:46,954
Gimme the gun.

853
00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:49,586
- What's the news?
- I got us producers.

854
00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:50,913
- Really?
- Yeah!

855
00:54:50,996 --> 00:54:52,919
You know, why don't you just take drugs?
Just take drugs again.

856
00:54:53,874 --> 00:54:56,468
- Why would you say that?
- Because you are just <i>as</i> bad...

857
00:54:56,543 --> 00:54:58,261
You're worse, actually, when you're sober.

858
00:54:58,337 --> 00:55:02,308
So, please, I am begging you
to take drugs, Jack.

859
00:55:02,382 --> 00:55:07,809
First of all, I don't think
you should be calling me "Jack."

860
00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:10,266
I think you should call me "Dad."

861
00:55:15,437 --> 00:55:16,939
Hey.

862
00:55:17,606 --> 00:55:19,028
Hi.

863
00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:23,287
You Okay?

864
00:55:32,079 --> 00:55:33,171
Are you sure you're okay?

865
00:55:45,300 --> 00:55:47,644
Sorry, if I'm giving you mixed messages.

866
00:55:49,221 --> 00:55:54,978
I don't really think that it takes a genius
to figure out why I'm a little bit confused.

867
00:55:57,980 --> 00:56:00,324
I think we're all a little bit confused.

868
00:56:00,941 --> 00:56:03,364
Thanks for being a good guy.

869
00:56:03,777 --> 00:56:04,824
I'm really not.

870
00:56:04,903 --> 00:56:07,076
No. You really are.

871
00:56:10,325 --> 00:56:12,669
What do you mean, the judge thinks
we should leave it up'?

872
00:56:12,744 --> 00:56:16,465
Well, apparently, these gossip websites bribe
clerks to alert them

873
00:56:16,540 --> 00:56:19,589
when people get down sex tapes,
in case there's a celebrity involved.

874
00:56:19,668 --> 00:56:22,547
Anyway, Lassie's a celebrity's
kid, and there's only 48 hours left,

875
00:56:22,629 --> 00:56:25,724
so the judge thinks
it's just not worth the risk.

876
00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:28,302
Okay, you know what? Fuck it.

877
00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:29,728
Can I borrow one of Dad's ties?

878
00:56:29,803 --> 00:56:31,805
I got my meeting with the producers
and I want to look fancy.

879
00:56:31,972 --> 00:56:33,064
Aw, of course you can.

880
00:56:33,140 --> 00:56:34,892
- Where are you going?
- I'm doing what I should've done

881
00:56:34,975 --> 00:56:37,228
from the very beginning. I'm telling Lassie.

882
00:56:37,311 --> 00:56:39,439
- Why?
- The judge can't get down the sex tape.

883
00:56:39,813 --> 00:56:41,281
What? No! Wait, wait, wait.

884
00:56:41,356 --> 00:56:42,403
I'm not asking your permission.

885
00:56:42,482 --> 00:56:44,155
No. I told you, man. She's never gonna see it.

886
00:56:44,276 --> 00:56:46,950
I'm telling Lassie and I'm going home.

887
00:56:48,447 --> 00:56:50,666
Can you believe that pussy came from
your pussy?

888
00:56:51,116 --> 00:56:53,369
What about Phil? Maybe he can help.

889
00:56:53,452 --> 00:56:55,500
- FATHERI Who's Phil?
- Phil.

890
00:56:56,622 --> 00:56:58,340
I love you, Mom.

891
00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:01,631
His cell mate from prison.

892
00:57:01,710 --> 00:57:03,337
The guy who eats rats?

893
00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:04,763
Don't be so negative!

894
00:57:04,838 --> 00:57:06,761
He hacked into a bank and got $20 million.

895
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:08,763
He's not just some guy that eats rats.

896
00:57:08,842 --> 00:57:11,766
Hey, Phil! It's Bruce. Long time, man.

897
00:57:11,845 --> 00:57:14,143
I'm actually just calling
because I need a favour.

898
00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:16,725
He's talking to his friend, the ex-con.
He eats rats.

899
00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:18,526
Don't tell Mother I told you.

900
00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:20,487
Yeah, so is it okay if I send over my brother?

901
00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:22,398
What? I'm not going!

902
00:57:22,481 --> 00:57:25,030
He's a computer whiz!
He can get the sex tape off the Internet.

903
00:57:25,108 --> 00:57:27,202
He's a rodent-eating ex-convict I don't know.

904
00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:28,403
Hey, we're both coming.

905
00:57:33,742 --> 00:57:35,961
Hello?

906
00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:42,918
Hello? Phil?

907
00:57:44,252 --> 00:57:45,629
Hi.

908
00:57:47,756 --> 00:57:48,882
Is Phil here?

909
00:57:53,136 --> 00:57:54,729
Hello, Bruce.

910
00:57:55,347 --> 00:57:56,394
Phil?

911
00:57:59,184 --> 00:58:00,561
It's Phyllis now.

912
00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:03,814
My God. That's weird.

913
00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:08,778
I'd like to introduce you to Frankie.

914
00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:11,079
The brother.

915
00:58:11,154 --> 00:58:12,406
Charmed.

916
00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:16,326
Kiss the hand.

917
00:58:24,251 --> 00:58:26,219
Come in, boys.

918
00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:40,855
No. I'm clean as a whistle.

919
00:58:40,934 --> 00:58:42,777
I'm impressed.

920
00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:54,413
No thanks.

921
00:58:55,657 --> 00:58:58,877
It's not nice to make a lady party alone.

922
00:58:58,952 --> 00:59:01,751
Especially when she's doing you a favour.

923
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:04,041
Right.

924
00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:08,804
So, Phil, do you think, maybe, we
could get this movie down off the Internet?

925
00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:11,007
- It's Phyllis.
- Yes, it is.

926
00:59:11,965 --> 00:59:16,345
I get so horny when I smoke pot. You, too?

927
00:59:21,224 --> 00:59:24,478
You know, I hope you don't take this
the wrong way,

928
00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:27,109
but I found your film very healing.

929
00:59:28,982 --> 00:59:31,280
I've had a lot of sadness lately.

930
00:59:31,359 --> 00:59:33,737
A lot of new girls do.

931
00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:38,951
Grieving the lost phallus, it's normal.

932
00:59:39,159 --> 00:59:40,411
It's so normal.

933
00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:42,496
But I have to tell you.

934
00:59:43,497 --> 00:59:48,628
When I saw what happened to you last night,
Good Lord, I didn't miss my cock one bit.

935
00:59:48,752 --> 00:59:51,596
Would you like to see it?

936
00:59:51,922 --> 00:59:53,640
My phallus.

937
00:59:54,674 --> 00:59:57,473
No, I asked if I could keep it. I keep it in ajar.

938
00:59:58,345 --> 00:59:59,813
Well, I mean, not all of it.

939
00:59:59,888 --> 01:00:02,983
I mean, some of it they had to use
to reconstruct my vagina.

940
01:00:03,058 --> 01:00:05,436
It's an amazingly interesting procedure...

941
01:00:05,519 --> 01:00:09,194
You don't have to
go into all of that for us, Phyllis.

942
01:00:11,650 --> 01:00:15,575
You be nice to your Auntie Phyllis,
you little shit.

943
01:00:15,695 --> 01:00:20,747
No, no. Frankie didn't... Frankie would love
to hear all about your penis operation.

944
01:00:20,867 --> 01:00:23,996
It's just, we're kind of in a hurry
to get the video down.

945
01:00:26,039 --> 01:00:28,167
Why has no one asked to see them?

946
01:00:28,250 --> 01:00:29,797
Your tits?

947
01:00:30,043 --> 01:00:31,511
I'd fucking love to see your tits.

948
01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:35,890
And how 'bout you, Frankie?

949
01:00:37,259 --> 01:00:39,102
Fancy a peek?

950
01:00:45,392 --> 01:00:47,611
I will not help
people who don't support me.

951
01:00:47,686 --> 01:00:48,812
What is your problem?

952
01:00:48,895 --> 01:00:50,613
- What did I do?
- You hesitated!

953
01:00:50,814 --> 01:00:54,193
When someone offers to show you their tits,
you don't hesitate, you look!

954
01:00:54,359 --> 01:00:57,329
Bruce, I don't even know this guy.
Why should I look at his tits?

955
01:00:57,404 --> 01:00:59,998
Her! Motherfucker!

956
01:01:00,073 --> 01:01:01,950
I'm done helping you.

957
01:01:02,033 --> 01:01:03,339
- Bruce!
- I'm not gonna be late for my meeting

958
01:01:03,410 --> 01:01:05,504
to watch you abuse my lady friends, Frank.

959
01:01:05,954 --> 01:01:07,046
Bruce, I'm sorry!

960
01:01:07,164 --> 01:01:08,381
Don't say it to me!

961
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,974
Phyllis. It's me again.

962
01:01:41,489 --> 01:01:44,117
You're a very good dancer, Frank.

963
01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:59,717
Phyllis, I would really like to,

964
01:01:59,799 --> 01:02:04,270
but I'm actually seeing someone right now,
and I'm kind of old-fashioned that way.

965
01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:09,393
Please don't be mad.

966
01:02:09,643 --> 01:02:12,146
She's a very lucky girl.

967
01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:15,574
So, do you think you could

968
01:02:17,150 --> 01:02:20,575
maybe help with the sex tape?

969
01:02:22,864 --> 01:02:24,662
Well,

970
01:02:26,326 --> 01:02:28,624
since you couldn't get it up,

971
01:02:28,995 --> 01:02:31,248
I may as well get it down.

972
01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:38,463
Let's see what we have here.

973
01:02:39,422 --> 01:02:41,516
I really appreciate it, Phyllis.

974
01:02:43,385 --> 01:02:44,807
You know,

975
01:02:46,513 --> 01:02:48,186
there is something you could help me with.

976
01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:49,687
Anything.

977
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:54,522
I have this date tonight.
And I really, really like this lady.

978
01:02:54,604 --> 01:02:58,029
I think I might be a lesbian.
You don't have any problem with that, right?

979
01:02:58,191 --> 01:02:59,158
No.

980
01:02:59,234 --> 01:03:04,536
Well, I got waxed for the very first time,
you know, down there.

981
01:03:07,409 --> 01:03:09,503
At the end of the day,
I went with the Brazilian.

982
01:03:09,577 --> 01:03:12,501
And, God, I hope I didn't make a mistake.

983
01:03:12,580 --> 01:03:14,253
I just want everything to be pretty.

984
01:03:19,379 --> 01:03:22,679
Would you like...
Would you like me to take a look?

985
01:03:25,885 --> 01:03:26,886
Would you?

986
01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:29,063
Y9K)...

987
01:03:29,139 --> 01:03:30,436
Okay...

988
01:03:41,818 --> 01:03:45,698
Lord, again we thank you so much

989
01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:48,374
for Jack and for Bruce.

990
01:03:48,450 --> 01:03:51,750
In your name we pray. Amen.

991
01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:52,875
- Amen.
- Amen.

992
01:03:52,954 --> 01:03:54,581
Amen. Hallelujah.

993
01:03:54,664 --> 01:03:56,712
Good, good.

994
01:03:56,791 --> 01:03:58,384
Thank you, thank you.

995
01:03:59,085 --> 01:04:03,807
And we also wanted to talk
to the two of you about...

996
01:04:06,009 --> 01:04:08,103
Sex.

997
01:04:10,096 --> 01:04:11,097
Huh?

998
01:04:11,348 --> 01:04:14,978
Well, you see, my wife and I, we're celibates.

999
01:04:15,352 --> 01:04:16,524
Shut up.

1000
01:04:16,603 --> 01:04:19,356
We've taken a lifelong vow of chastity.

1001
01:04:19,439 --> 01:04:20,440
My God.

1002
01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:24,027
We don't expect you to
live a similar lifestyle.

1003
01:04:24,110 --> 01:04:26,329
- Dear, no. We never would.
- No.

1004
01:04:26,404 --> 01:04:31,786
But we do feel very strongly
about our films being "sex-free."

1005
01:04:33,953 --> 01:04:36,251
"Sexfree." Yes.

1006
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:38,129
You want a film with no sex in it.

1007
01:04:38,208 --> 01:04:40,051
- Correct.
- Yes.

1008
01:04:40,126 --> 01:04:44,302
- Lots of angels. Zero sex.
- Is that going to be a problem?

1009
01:04:46,174 --> 01:04:48,176
- Maybe.
- No.

1010
01:05:04,109 --> 01:05:05,110
Phyllis!

1011
01:05:07,821 --> 01:05:09,789
I love you, Phyllis.

1012
01:05:17,372 --> 01:05:22,128
Look at us. We're on regular date,
like regular people. It's nice.

1013
01:05:22,210 --> 01:05:24,258
It's a miracle.

1014
01:05:24,337 --> 01:05:27,307
When do I get to read your book?
Because I kind of want to.

1015
01:05:27,382 --> 01:05:30,886
I think probably never.
I'm pretty sure it sucks.

1016
01:05:31,511 --> 01:05:35,357
I'm pretty sure it sucks, too.
But I still want to read it.

1017
01:05:36,182 --> 01:05:38,560
I won't judge you.

1018
01:05:38,643 --> 01:05:39,860
Maybe the next one.

1019
01:05:41,604 --> 01:05:45,108
Excuse me? It's you. Love the video, dude.

1020
01:05:45,191 --> 01:05:46,488
Fuckin' hysterical.

1021
01:05:46,568 --> 01:05:47,865
It's all right. This happens all the time.

1022
01:05:47,944 --> 01:05:50,697
Seriously.
It's the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

1023
01:05:51,281 --> 01:05:53,454
You know it got, like, a million hits
in three hours today?

1024
01:05:53,533 --> 01:05:56,628
Awesome. Fuck off. You know? Thanks.

1025
01:05:56,703 --> 01:05:59,957
My God, I don't know how you
handle that shit.

1026
01:06:00,039 --> 01:06:01,336
Eat my bra!

1027
01:06:02,876 --> 01:06:04,173
Eat my bra!

1028
01:06:04,752 --> 01:06:05,753
What did he say?

1029
01:06:05,837 --> 01:06:07,965
I don't know.
I don't think he was talking to us.

1030
01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:15,935
What?

1031
01:06:26,649 --> 01:06:29,823
<i>We could act out
your masturbation fantasies.</i>

1032
01:06:29,903 --> 01:06:31,576
<i>Maybe that would get you hard.</i>

1033
01:06:32,071 --> 01:06:36,076
Someone must've pirated a copy off
the original site before I shut it down.

1034
01:06:36,576 --> 01:06:41,423
<i>Like, I'll be a cheerleader
and you be the captain of the football team.</i>

1035
01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:44,129
<i>Maybe you just need
some kind of encouragement.</i>

1036
01:06:44,209 --> 01:06:47,713
<i>I'll cheer you on, I'll cheer you on,
I'll cheer you on.</i>

1037
01:06:57,305 --> 01:07:01,276
Please get it down, Phyllis.
I'll do whatever you want.

1038
01:07:01,351 --> 01:07:04,150
We can dance. I'll look at your penis.

1039
01:07:04,229 --> 01:07:05,947
- Frank!
- Go get the jar. Does it open?

1040
01:07:06,022 --> 01:07:09,526
- I'll touch it.
- Frank, Frank, Frank. I know how you feel.

1041
01:07:10,276 --> 01:07:15,282
You're embarrassed and you're ashamed

1042
01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:17,367
and you want to die.

1043
01:07:17,450 --> 01:07:20,704
It's the exact same way I felt
when the guys on my high school team

1044
01:07:20,787 --> 01:07:24,508
walked into the locker room
and I was dressed in a cheerleader's uniform.

1045
01:07:24,582 --> 01:07:28,177
But it was at that moment,
I got a glimpse, for the first time,

1046
01:07:28,253 --> 01:07:30,051
of my true me.

1047
01:07:31,422 --> 01:07:34,517
And that is what I want for you, darling.

1048
01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:41,858
Let your humiliation set you free.

1049
01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:46,404
Come here, sad screw up. Come here.

1050
01:07:48,273 --> 01:07:50,947
That's a very nice shampoo you're wearing.

1051
01:07:51,526 --> 01:07:53,278
Now he'll never work with me.

1052
01:07:53,361 --> 01:07:56,706
Jack? Don't be silly. He adores you.

1053
01:07:56,864 --> 01:07:59,333
Mom, he tried to shoot a guy
who cheated on his daughter.

1054
01:07:59,492 --> 01:08:00,960
I put her in a sex tape,

1055
01:08:01,035 --> 01:08:05,085
which has now been viewed by
by eight million people since breakfast.

1056
01:08:05,164 --> 01:08:08,668
It's not a real sex tape.
It's just a funny little movie.

1057
01:08:11,629 --> 01:08:12,926
- That's it.
- What?

1058
01:08:13,006 --> 01:08:17,056
It's a movie. I'll just tell Jack
that what I shot in the clubhouse

1059
01:08:17,135 --> 01:08:20,014
was a teaser for a larger film.

1060
01:08:20,471 --> 01:08:21,768
What's the film?

1061
01:08:21,848 --> 01:08:23,350
I'll work that out! It writes itself!

1062
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:31,112
- Hi.
- Hey.

1063
01:08:31,190 --> 01:08:33,113
I'm so glad that you called.

1064
01:08:33,192 --> 01:08:37,447
My dad is at a meeting,
but I ordered us some dinner.

1065
01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:40,283
So, I hope you're hungry.

1066
01:08:45,830 --> 01:08:48,253
Here. Sit.

1067
01:08:48,333 --> 01:08:50,335
I actually have something to tell you.

1068
01:08:51,669 --> 01:08:55,139
It's kind of the reason why we're
eating Chinese food.

1069
01:08:55,214 --> 01:08:56,557
You're going to China?

1070
01:08:59,302 --> 01:09:01,145
The opposite. I told them no.

1071
01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:04,899
It's just kind of the worst time for me to go.

1072
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:09,904
It might have a tiny little bit to do with you.

1073
01:09:17,278 --> 01:09:19,451
You all right?

1074
01:09:21,866 --> 01:09:23,118
You do these?

1075
01:09:23,201 --> 01:09:25,545
I was really into knights when I was a kid.

1076
01:09:26,746 --> 01:09:29,090
"A strong kind man, dipped in metal."

1077
01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:33,341
Listen. It's actually a very normal fantasy
for a girl whose father

1078
01:09:33,419 --> 01:09:36,343
has never been in a relationship ever.

1079
01:09:36,547 --> 01:09:42,429
You can connect the dots and see
why perhaps I was in need of some chivalry.

1080
01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:51,229
So, what did you want to tell me?

1081
01:09:55,525 --> 01:09:56,651
I'll tell you later.

1082
01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:26,681
Hey.

1083
01:10:26,764 --> 01:10:31,144
Thank you for the date yesterday.
It was really, really nice and normal.

1084
01:10:32,770 --> 01:10:34,738
Listen, Lassie.
Can I talk to you about something?

1085
01:10:34,814 --> 01:10:36,566
I'm actuallyjust running into
a meeting right now.

1086
01:10:36,649 --> 01:10:37,821
Can I give you a call back in a little bit?

1087
01:10:38,359 --> 01:10:41,238
<i>And your brother,
he stopped by and he took your car.</i>

1088
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:43,914
He said he needed to trade it
for a crane or something, I don't know.

1089
01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:45,992
He said you'd understand.

1090
01:11:02,091 --> 01:11:03,843
Hey. Sorry I'm late.

1091
01:11:09,015 --> 01:11:10,187
<i>- What's going on?
- This is actually</i>

1092
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:13,645
<i>a really fucking horrible time for this
to be happening to me!</i>

1093
01:11:13,728 --> 01:11:19,201
<i>I just don't understand it,
I don't understand why nobody will fuck me!</i>

1094
01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:45,347
But everyone else has sex, why can't we?

1095
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:46,761
"Why can't I?"

1096
01:11:47,512 --> 01:11:50,140
Everyone else has sex. Why can't I?

1097
01:11:50,223 --> 01:11:51,520
Behold.

1098
01:11:51,599 --> 01:11:57,106
I am an angel, sent by God, to make you pure.

1099
01:11:57,563 --> 01:11:59,736
Dad! I'm gonna need more wings.

1100
01:11:59,816 --> 01:12:01,159
- What'?
- More wings.

1101
01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:03,782
- Bruce.
- Cut, cut.

1102
01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:06,823
Isn't this fucking amazing?

1103
01:12:07,949 --> 01:12:10,452
- What is this?
- I'm making a movie of that night.

1104
01:12:11,035 --> 01:12:12,787
- What night?
- The night in the clubhouse, bro.

1105
01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:17,963
Okay. Everybody, places. We're going again.

1106
01:12:20,586 --> 01:12:22,714
No. Actually not places.

1107
01:12:22,797 --> 01:12:26,597
Could everyone just pack this stuff up
and go home? I'm sorry.

1108
01:12:26,676 --> 01:12:28,144
Frankie, stop being such a girl.

1109
01:12:28,219 --> 01:12:30,017
Do not disrespect me in front of my crew.

1110
01:12:30,096 --> 01:12:32,599
Okay'? I will slap you down.
I will fucking slap you down.

1111
01:12:32,682 --> 01:12:34,776
All I'm doing here is trying to make
everyone else happy.

1112
01:12:34,851 --> 01:12:36,148
The producers want an angel,

1113
01:12:36,227 --> 01:12:37,729
Jack won't do the movie
unless Dharma's in it.

1114
01:12:37,812 --> 01:12:39,234
Jack is in the movie?

1115
01:12:39,313 --> 01:12:41,441
Of course Jack's in the movie.
Jack's the money!

1116
01:12:41,983 --> 01:12:44,486
But he won't do it unless Dharma's in it,
who can't fucking act.

1117
01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:45,869
Stop fighting, both of you!

1118
01:12:45,945 --> 01:12:47,868
And I am doing all of this, bro,

1119
01:12:47,947 --> 01:12:51,326
just to make sure that you and Cassie
don't get embarrassed.

1120
01:12:51,409 --> 01:12:52,535
- Bruce?
- What?

1121
01:12:52,618 --> 01:12:54,086
Isn't Jack supposed to be in this scene?

1122
01:12:54,579 --> 01:12:57,332
Can everybody just stop talking to me?
Please?

1123
01:12:57,623 --> 01:12:59,421
Okay. We're going again.

1124
01:12:59,500 --> 01:13:01,628
Last time. Rolling sound.

1125
01:13:01,836 --> 01:13:03,133
- Bruce!
- Action.

1126
01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:07,391
Don't listen to the angel.

1127
01:13:07,466 --> 01:13:09,719
Have sex. Have sex now.

1128
01:13:09,802 --> 01:13:11,975
- Angrier!
- Have it all the time!

1129
01:13:15,933 --> 01:13:17,310
Fuck.

1130
01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:21,272
What are you doing here?

1131
01:13:21,355 --> 01:13:23,357
Tell me that you didn't know that
he filmed us that night!

1132
01:13:24,233 --> 01:13:26,452
I didn't. I swear to GOd, I didn't.

1133
01:13:26,527 --> 01:13:28,074
Well, did you know that it was
on the Internet?

1134
01:13:28,154 --> 01:13:30,156
Cut! Places! We're going again.

1135
01:13:31,490 --> 01:13:32,491
My God.

1136
01:13:32,825 --> 01:13:33,826
Action.

1137
01:13:35,411 --> 01:13:38,506
Why won't anyone have sex with me? Wait...

1138
01:13:38,956 --> 01:13:40,879
Is that an angel?

1139
01:13:41,083 --> 01:13:44,883
I forbid the blood to enter your cock.

1140
01:13:44,962 --> 01:13:47,385
Rise, penis, rise!

1141
01:13:47,465 --> 01:13:49,593
Bruce, could you have her say
"phallus" instead?

1142
01:13:49,675 --> 01:13:50,767
What is all of this?

1143
01:13:50,843 --> 01:13:52,937
Fill with blood! Fill that member!

1144
01:13:53,012 --> 01:13:57,233
Bruce is making a movie so that
we won't have to be embarrassed.

1145
01:13:57,308 --> 01:13:58,651
What are you talking about?

1146
01:13:58,726 --> 01:14:02,105
Sex out of wedlock is wrong.

1147
01:14:02,188 --> 01:14:03,781
Get that member filled with pleasure!

1148
01:14:03,856 --> 01:14:07,326
- I forbid the blood to enter your cock.
- Get it in that pussy. Go...

1149
01:14:07,526 --> 01:14:08,493
- Phallus!
- Phallus.

1150
01:14:08,569 --> 01:14:09,786
- I forbid...
- I'm the devil!

1151
01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:13,207
- ...the blood to enter your phallus.
- I'm the devil. Fuck that pussy!

1152
01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:16,160
- You big penis.
- Can you say "organ" instead?

1153
01:14:16,243 --> 01:14:18,496
Motherfucker! Come here!

1154
01:14:20,665 --> 01:14:22,884
Did you put my precious daughter
in a porno video?

1155
01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:25,462
You are fucking dead, do you hear me?

1156
01:14:25,544 --> 01:14:26,545
Shit.

1157
01:14:26,837 --> 01:14:28,714
Time to die, motherfucker.

1158
01:14:32,176 --> 01:14:33,598
Bruce, Bruce.

1159
01:14:35,054 --> 01:14:36,556
Fuck.

1160
01:14:36,639 --> 01:14:38,391
- Okay. Okay.
- Someone call an ambulance!

1161
01:14:38,474 --> 01:14:39,896
Call 911. Call 911!

1162
01:14:40,017 --> 01:14:41,564
- He shot me in my belly.
- Okay. I know, bro.

1163
01:14:41,644 --> 01:14:43,988
I know.
Just keep breathing, just keep breathing.

1164
01:14:44,063 --> 01:14:46,065
Just keep breathing.

1165
01:14:48,609 --> 01:14:50,202
I knew you loved me, bro.

1166
01:14:50,277 --> 01:14:53,156
You! When you grab me, go like this.
You gotta really hold me.

1167
01:14:53,864 --> 01:14:55,912
- You want to go again, Jack?
- Let's go!

1168
01:14:56,242 --> 01:14:57,915
He doesn't know anything.

1169
01:14:57,994 --> 01:14:59,587
He just thinks that
he's playing the part of a father

1170
01:14:59,662 --> 01:15:02,882
who found out his daughter's in a sex video.
It's fine.

1171
01:15:03,624 --> 01:15:06,002
- You're such a fucking asshole!
- What?

1172
01:15:06,085 --> 01:15:07,632
"What?" What's the matter with you?

1173
01:15:07,712 --> 01:15:10,465
I just want an option in case
we decide to go dark in the end, bro.

1174
01:15:10,548 --> 01:15:12,346
- Lassie, I'm sorry. Lassie.
- Leave me alone.

1175
01:15:12,425 --> 01:15:13,847
- Lassie.
- Leave me alone!

1176
01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:17,767
But it looked that realistic?

1177
01:16:31,253 --> 01:16:33,130
Mom, stop fucking calling.

1178
01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:35,390
It's not your mother.

1179
01:16:35,925 --> 01:16:38,895
Unfortunately, I can't bear children.

1180
01:16:40,221 --> 01:16:41,222
Whatever.

1181
01:16:41,639 --> 01:16:46,645
<i>I saw Bruce's movie, along with,
I don't know, a few million other people.</i>

1182
01:16:46,727 --> 01:16:49,697
And what the fuck was he thinking,
not letting me play the angel?

1183
01:16:49,772 --> 01:16:52,150
That woman was absolute dog shit.

1184
01:16:53,150 --> 01:16:54,868
So you still talk to that girl?

1185
01:16:55,611 --> 01:16:58,535
<i>- She still mad at you?
- She won't take my calls.</i>

1186
01:16:59,406 --> 01:17:01,329
She hasn't responded to any of my e-mails.

1187
01:17:01,867 --> 01:17:04,666
Yeah, I heard through the grapevine
that she's going away.

1188
01:17:05,454 --> 01:17:06,580
<i>Poor thing.</i>

1189
01:17:06,705 --> 01:17:08,207
- Where?
- China.

1190
01:17:09,708 --> 01:17:11,130
You think you're embarrassed?

1191
01:17:11,210 --> 01:17:14,680
Try having half the planet watch
some guy not be able to fuck you all night.

1192
01:17:15,631 --> 01:17:17,633
That's embarrassing, my friend.

1193
01:17:19,593 --> 01:17:22,722
Anyway, I thought you should know
she's going away.

1194
01:17:22,805 --> 01:17:26,025
Just in case one of the people
on this phone call

1195
01:17:26,100 --> 01:17:28,068
wanted to start acting like a man, darling.

1196
01:17:30,229 --> 01:17:33,403
Let your Auntie Phyllis give you
a piece of advice, Frankie, baby.

1197
01:17:34,275 --> 01:17:38,325
I don't give a shit how many people saw
what happened in that clubhouse that night.

1198
01:17:38,404 --> 01:17:40,623
And I don't care what they thought about it.

1199
01:17:40,698 --> 01:17:43,417
They weren't there. They were just watching.

1200
01:17:45,911 --> 01:17:49,131
If you really fell in love
with that girl that night,

1201
01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:53,215
then what the fuck
are you still doing in the desert?

1202
01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:12,442
Francis.

1203
01:18:16,442 --> 01:18:17,443
Hey, bro.

1204
01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:27,204
Listen, I know we haven't talked
since the whole angel debacle,

1205
01:18:27,286 --> 01:18:29,129
and I just wanted to say I'm really sorry.

1206
01:18:29,830 --> 01:18:33,334
After you left, I got to thinking,
maybe I'm incapable of change.

1207
01:18:33,709 --> 01:18:34,881
But, look, no camera.

1208
01:18:35,753 --> 01:18:37,721
- Well, I'm impressed.
- Right?

1209
01:18:38,088 --> 01:18:40,182
- You proud of me?
- What time's her flight?

1210
01:18:40,591 --> 01:18:43,891
7:00 p.m.
We better hit the road before we lose the light.

1211
01:18:48,515 --> 01:18:50,313
Hey, Bruce,
can you help me with something in here?

1212
01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:51,985
Sure.

1213
01:18:54,647 --> 01:18:56,490
- You need a strong guy?
- Yeah.

1214
01:19:00,361 --> 01:19:02,580
Frank! What're you doing?

1215
01:19:02,655 --> 01:19:03,998
You're not filming this, Bruce.

1216
01:19:04,823 --> 01:19:05,824
What?

1217
01:19:06,492 --> 01:19:08,085
Plenty of food and water in there.

1218
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:10,333
There's even a mirror
in case you want to jerk off.

1219
01:19:11,372 --> 01:19:13,249
TV gets Channel 6.

1220
01:19:13,332 --> 01:19:16,176
I swear on Mom's tits,
I'm not gonna film you.

1221
01:19:17,503 --> 01:19:19,005
Okay, maybe one shot.

1222
01:19:19,838 --> 01:19:21,681
Maybe two.

1223
01:19:22,508 --> 01:19:25,637
A master from far away! Bro!

1224
01:19:25,719 --> 01:19:28,268
I just want to give you a happy ending.

1225
01:19:31,350 --> 01:19:34,729
Frank! I love you.

1226
01:20:04,550 --> 01:20:07,645
- Hey.
- Dad! Tell us when people come in!

1227
01:20:11,640 --> 01:20:13,187
Excuse me?

1228
01:20:37,082 --> 01:20:40,427
I am a strong, kind man dipped in metal.

1229
01:20:40,919 --> 01:20:42,387
Dipped in metal.

1230
01:20:44,590 --> 01:20:47,218
And I have come
to take you away from all of this.

1231
01:20:48,093 --> 01:20:51,563
And to protect you and to defend you.

1232
01:20:52,181 --> 01:20:54,934
And to apologise for sucking at it so far.

1233
01:20:56,310 --> 01:20:58,529
Lassie, I know all about embarrassment.

1234
01:20:58,604 --> 01:21:01,858
Eighteen million people
saw me throw up on my fiancée.

1235
01:21:02,524 --> 01:21:05,448
And 35 million people saw my dick not work.

1236
01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:09,282
I'm standing in front of you wearing a car.

1237
01:21:10,115 --> 01:21:12,538
Don't go. It won't help.

1238
01:21:16,830 --> 01:21:18,173
Frank.

1239
01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:24,593
I really appreciate all of this effort, I just...

1240
01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:31,729
I can't live here an more. I have to o.
<i>Y</i>

1241
01:21:34,556 --> 01:21:36,149
I'm sorry.

1242
01:22:07,172 --> 01:22:08,219
Come?

1243
01:22:10,217 --> 01:22:12,390
Come and visit me.

1244
01:22:12,845 --> 01:22:14,973
I could probably use a knight.

1245
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:24,694
I might have a little trouble
with the metal detector.

1246
01:22:49,423 --> 01:22:52,472
<i>"Wow.
I've never had sex with a knight before."</i>

1247
01:22:53,093 --> 01:22:55,642
<i>"I'm gonna fuck you
on the Round Table, bitch."</i>

1248
01:23:00,684 --> 01:23:01,685
Cut!

1249
01:25:02,889 --> 01:25:04,641
Felt real to me.