1
00:00:31,954 --> 00:00:36,687
AUDIENCE: Charlie! Charlie!
Charlie! Charlie!
2
00:00:36,759 --> 00:00:42,288
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
3
00:01:08,691 --> 00:01:10,352
(CROWD ROARS)
4
00:01:10,426 --> 00:01:14,385
Thank you! Thank you very much!
5
00:01:14,463 --> 00:01:16,055
Thank you!
6
00:01:18,133 --> 00:01:20,363
How you all doing tonight?
7
00:01:28,744 --> 00:01:31,178
It's great to see all of you here.
8
00:01:33,315 --> 00:01:38,617
My name is Charlie Bartlett!
9
00:01:41,156 --> 00:01:45,786
AUDIENCE: Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
10
00:01:45,861 --> 00:01:48,227
STUDENT: Charlie. Charlie!
11
00:01:48,297 --> 00:01:49,594
Charlie!
12
00:01:51,366 --> 00:01:52,958
Your mom's here.
13
00:01:54,136 --> 00:01:56,229
She's in the dean's office.
14
00:01:57,272 --> 00:02:00,571
Good luck, Charlie. Stay out of trouble.
15
00:02:01,276 --> 00:02:04,177
MARILYN: I'm not sure I understand.
Is it his grades?
16
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,680
No, Mrs. Bartlett, it's not his grades
and it's not his attendance.
17
00:02:09,184 --> 00:02:13,143
Look, quite frankly, he is one of
our brightest boys here at school,
18
00:02:13,489 --> 00:02:15,116
albeit, unusual.
19
00:02:15,190 --> 00:02:18,626
Well, I'm just not sure
why he must be expelled, then.
20
00:02:19,294 --> 00:02:21,694
Well, this might shed some light.
21
00:02:24,833 --> 00:02:28,064
You're expelling him
for making a driver's license?
22
00:02:29,571 --> 00:02:32,597
He's been running a laminating press
from inside his dorm room,
23
00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:35,541
and he has been selling them
to the other students.
24
00:02:35,611 --> 00:02:38,011
You have to admit,
they look pretty authentic.
25
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:42,779
Look, Mrs. Bartlett, to be honest,
I think he has a lot of potential.
26
00:02:42,851 --> 00:02:47,345
He's innovative, he's intelligent.
He's obviously highly motivated.
27
00:02:47,422 --> 00:02:50,391
Perhaps this would be
a good time for an endowment.
28
00:02:50,459 --> 00:02:54,054
No. Mrs. Bartlett, what he did was illegal
29
00:02:54,129 --> 00:02:56,290
and we can't overlook that.
30
00:02:58,233 --> 00:03:00,201
- Okay.
- Okay.
31
00:03:00,269 --> 00:03:02,134
- I understand.
- Good.
32
00:03:10,078 --> 00:03:11,511
Are you mad?
33
00:03:12,281 --> 00:03:13,942
You know, I'm not.
34
00:03:14,483 --> 00:03:18,749
I just can't fathom why you did it.
It's not like you needed the money.
35
00:03:18,821 --> 00:03:23,019
I mean, really, Charlie, what would
your father say if he were here?
36
00:03:25,961 --> 00:03:29,158
Mom, they were just starting
to appreciate me.
37
00:03:29,231 --> 00:03:31,995
You know, I was the guy
that everyone wanted to meet.
38
00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:35,901
Well, maybe there's more
to high school than being well liked.
39
00:03:36,939 --> 00:03:38,964
Like what, specifically?
40
00:03:40,576 --> 00:03:42,544
Nothing comes to mind.
41
00:03:44,346 --> 00:03:48,715
I guess now we try you living at home
and going to public school.
42
00:03:49,151 --> 00:03:52,052
I even kept your room
exactly the way you left it.
43
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,816
Hey, Mom, have you been feeding my fish?
44
00:03:55,324 --> 00:03:56,586
Oh, dear.
45
00:03:59,127 --> 00:04:03,928
(LIVELY PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
46
00:04:03,999 --> 00:04:07,435
Mom? I think I might take
the bus in tomorrow.
47
00:04:07,502 --> 00:04:10,403
Really? I was going to have
Thomas drive you.
48
00:04:10,472 --> 00:04:14,909
I know, but I don't think anybody else
is going to show up with a chauffeur.
49
00:04:15,944 --> 00:04:17,809
You're probably right.
50
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,308
- Have you taken your Klonopin today?
- I haven't.
51
00:04:21,383 --> 00:04:25,046
- Where do you suppose I put that?
- Probably in your purse.
52
00:04:27,356 --> 00:04:31,349
There you are.
What would I do without you, Charlie?
53
00:04:36,298 --> 00:04:40,257
(SINGING) And we knew who we were then
54
00:04:40,335 --> 00:04:44,635
Girls were girls and men were men
55
00:04:44,706 --> 00:04:51,635
Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again
56
00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:57,148
Those were the days
57
00:05:01,857 --> 00:05:04,985
Well, it's wonderful
to have you back, Charlie.
58
00:05:06,328 --> 00:05:08,922
Thanks, Mom. I missed you, too.
59
00:05:25,447 --> 00:05:30,214
(ROCKMUSIC BLARING)
60
00:05:30,319 --> 00:05:32,947
Are you kidding me? Suzy Q!
61
00:05:33,522 --> 00:05:34,853
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
62
00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:36,413
What? Come in.
63
00:05:37,326 --> 00:05:39,123
Hi. Volume. Thank you.
64
00:05:39,194 --> 00:05:41,094
Hold on, The Principal is here.
What do you want, Dad?
65
00:05:41,163 --> 00:05:43,461
Why do you call me The Principal
when you're talking to your friends?
66
00:05:43,532 --> 00:05:45,898
Pretending to have contempt for you
gives me a certain amount of cred,
67
00:05:45,968 --> 00:05:47,162
if you can understand that.
68
00:05:47,235 --> 00:05:48,566
No, no, no.
69
00:05:48,637 --> 00:05:50,366
Okay, what do you want?
70
00:05:50,439 --> 00:05:52,771
- I wanna say hi.
- Hi.
71
00:05:54,309 --> 00:05:55,571
Fresh crack rock.
72
00:05:55,644 --> 00:05:58,044
- God, it's called rock candy.
- That was a joke.
73
00:05:58,113 --> 00:06:00,980
I was eating it decades before
you were even conceived.
74
00:06:01,049 --> 00:06:02,311
I'll be in my office.
75
00:06:02,384 --> 00:06:03,749
- Love you.
- Love you. Bye.
76
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,488
(DIALING)
77
00:06:07,923 --> 00:06:09,982
ANSWERING MACHINE:
You have two new messages.
78
00:06:10,559 --> 00:06:13,392
SEDGWICK: Nathan, I think it might be
a good idea if I'm there
79
00:06:13,462 --> 00:06:16,363
when you break the news
about installing cameras to the kids
80
00:06:16,431 --> 00:06:19,923
so the announcement is taken,
you know, seriously.
81
00:06:20,836 --> 00:06:23,168
ANSWERING MACHINE: Next message.
WOMAN: Nathan, it's me.
82
00:06:23,238 --> 00:06:26,230
I'm wondering why Susan
hasn't been returning my calls.
83
00:06:26,308 --> 00:06:27,570
Is it of no consequence to you
84
00:06:27,642 --> 00:06:29,906
whether she has a relationship
with her mother, you fuck...
85
00:06:29,978 --> 00:06:31,036
(MACHINE BEEPS)
86
00:06:57,339 --> 00:06:59,102
DRIVER: I think you got the wrong bus.
87
00:06:59,174 --> 00:07:00,971
Western Summit High School, right?
88
00:07:01,043 --> 00:07:02,135
Okay.
89
00:07:18,794 --> 00:07:20,284
Hi, I'm Charlie.
90
00:07:20,362 --> 00:07:22,353
Hi, Charlie. I'm Len.
91
00:07:23,165 --> 00:07:25,861
Good to meet you, Len.
92
00:07:25,934 --> 00:07:28,232
It's good to meet you, Charlie.
93
00:07:32,741 --> 00:07:33,730
Thank you.
94
00:07:42,584 --> 00:07:45,314
There's just no point
in cause unnecessary trouble
95
00:07:45,387 --> 00:07:46,684
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
96
00:07:46,922 --> 00:07:48,514
Nice tie, homie.
97
00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:53,691
Killer roach, bro.
98
00:07:53,762 --> 00:07:55,992
Move out of the way! Get out!
99
00:07:57,399 --> 00:08:00,197
(BELL RINGING)
100
00:08:11,713 --> 00:08:15,945
There's just no point
in cause unnecessary trouble
101
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:20,249
Just make sure you cause trouble
when it's necessary
102
00:08:20,322 --> 00:08:23,052
There's just no point
in cause unnecessary trouble
103
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:25,650
They didn't give you a locker
in the teachers' lounge?
104
00:08:25,727 --> 00:08:27,695
Oh, I'm not a teacher.
105
00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:30,462
You sure look like a teacher.
106
00:08:30,532 --> 00:08:34,059
Okay, everyone, last chance to sign up.
The auditions are today
107
00:08:34,136 --> 00:08:37,264
and will be held at 4:00
and everybody's welcome.
108
00:08:37,339 --> 00:08:40,274
Yeah. And for everyone who doesn't know,
this year we're doing Henry V.
109
00:08:40,342 --> 00:08:44,244
SUSAN: And it's Shakespeare, so feel free
to read for a role of the opposite sex.
110
00:08:47,782 --> 00:08:49,943
See you at 4:00, professor.
111
00:08:51,653 --> 00:08:53,587
Dense fucking nug, man.
112
00:08:53,989 --> 00:08:55,923
Shit, why are you looking at it like that?
You're gonna buy it.
113
00:08:55,991 --> 00:08:59,085
You've done every other time.
Just fucking buy it.
114
00:09:00,262 --> 00:09:01,923
Hi, I'm Charlie.
115
00:09:06,535 --> 00:09:08,935
What's that? Is that a briefcase?
116
00:09:09,571 --> 00:09:12,404
Actually, I believe it's an attaché case.
117
00:09:12,941 --> 00:09:14,909
What's that thing on your jacket mean?
118
00:09:14,976 --> 00:09:16,238
Oh, this?
119
00:09:17,245 --> 00:09:20,112
Cor ad cor loquitur. It's in Latin.
120
00:09:21,116 --> 00:09:22,413
I think the translation is,
121
00:09:22,484 --> 00:09:25,351
"Heart speaks to heart,"
but I may be wrong.
122
00:09:25,887 --> 00:09:28,822
Is he, like, a total faggot or what? Shut up.
123
00:09:30,258 --> 00:09:33,386
Is that a rhetorical question?
124
00:09:37,599 --> 00:09:38,725
Guess not.
125
00:09:40,035 --> 00:09:41,434
Fuck him up!
126
00:09:42,237 --> 00:09:43,670
Fuck, yeah!
127
00:09:43,738 --> 00:09:45,103
(GURGLING)
128
00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:47,337
Guess what?
I think you like that, you little bitch.
129
00:09:47,409 --> 00:09:49,809
How do you like that, you little bitch?
130
00:09:49,878 --> 00:09:50,867
(GRUNTING)
131
00:09:50,979 --> 00:09:53,174
GARDNER: No smokes! Cigarettes out!
132
00:09:54,082 --> 00:09:55,913
(COUGHING)
133
00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:00,315
What have we here?
134
00:10:00,722 --> 00:10:03,282
Nothing. We're just messing around.
135
00:10:03,358 --> 00:10:05,588
Mr. Bivens, Mr...
136
00:10:06,394 --> 00:10:09,227
You, get to class. Now. Let's go.
137
00:10:09,297 --> 00:10:10,696
(WHISPERING) Later, homo.
138
00:10:20,508 --> 00:10:22,032
You okay?
139
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:23,202
Yeah.
140
00:10:26,248 --> 00:10:29,342
I'm so sick of my parents.
Like, honestly, I'm 17.
141
00:10:29,417 --> 00:10:33,114
I don't see what the big deal is.
I mean, it's just a hole.
142
00:10:33,188 --> 00:10:35,520
I mean, what does my mom care
how many times I get my ears pierced?
143
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:36,784
The squad doesn't care.
144
00:10:36,858 --> 00:10:39,122
Whitney, I think you should get
your na-na pierced.
145
00:10:39,194 --> 00:10:41,185
That's gross, you 'tard.
146
00:10:41,263 --> 00:10:42,628
(ALL LAUGHING)
147
00:10:47,335 --> 00:10:48,962
Hi, I'm Charlie.
148
00:10:51,506 --> 00:10:52,768
Come on.
149
00:11:07,589 --> 00:11:09,523
- Hi, Charlie.
- Hey, Len.
150
00:11:13,028 --> 00:11:15,155
Len, you want to join me?
151
00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:16,959
Thank you, Charlie.
152
00:11:20,402 --> 00:11:23,496
I got peas and carrots.
153
00:11:23,571 --> 00:11:25,971
- CHARLIE: I love peas and carrots.
- Me, too.
154
00:11:27,409 --> 00:11:28,535
(HUMMING)
155
00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:33,413
When, Caius, Rome is thine,
thou art poorest of all,
156
00:11:34,249 --> 00:11:37,116
then shortly art thou mine.
157
00:11:38,853 --> 00:11:40,184
And scene.
158
00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:43,787
Thank you. That was stunning.
159
00:11:44,025 --> 00:11:45,014
(GIGGLES)
160
00:11:46,027 --> 00:11:47,654
Charlie Bartlett.
161
00:11:51,599 --> 00:11:55,160
So, which one of Shakespeare's works
will you be performing for us?
162
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:59,332
Actually, I thought I'd do a monologue
from Cordiroy Seville's masterpiece,
163
00:11:59,407 --> 00:12:01,932
Misadventures of a Teenage Renegade.
164
00:12:02,610 --> 00:12:04,100
(CLEARS THROAT)
165
00:12:09,851 --> 00:12:11,443
(IMITATING GIRL'S VOICE)
I guess I should tell you
166
00:12:11,519 --> 00:12:13,749
about the first time I had my period.
167
00:12:14,923 --> 00:12:17,619
My daddy was driving me back
from summer camp
168
00:12:17,692 --> 00:12:19,523
and I turned to him and I said,
169
00:12:19,594 --> 00:12:23,189
"Daddy, I think I'm sloughing."
170
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:26,097
And he said, "That's nice, honey."
171
00:12:26,935 --> 00:12:30,132
And I realized that he had,
172
00:12:30,205 --> 00:12:35,233
like, no idea just what "sloughing" meant.
173
00:12:35,744 --> 00:12:38,838
So I explained to him that it meant
174
00:12:38,913 --> 00:12:44,010
blood was gushing
from my you-know-where.
175
00:12:44,686 --> 00:12:47,314
And he nearly wrecked the car
176
00:12:47,389 --> 00:12:50,256
trying to hand me
a wad of fast-food napkins,
177
00:12:50,325 --> 00:12:51,883
which is not something that you
178
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:55,054
particularly want to stick up your hooch.
179
00:13:00,034 --> 00:13:01,661
Great. Thank you.
180
00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:03,867
I wasn't quite finished, actually.
181
00:13:03,938 --> 00:13:05,929
No. That'll do. Thank you, Charlie.
182
00:13:06,007 --> 00:13:07,133
(STIFLING LAUGHTER)
183
00:13:12,814 --> 00:13:13,838
(GROANS)
184
00:13:13,915 --> 00:13:16,281
I'm gonna fuck you up.
185
00:13:16,351 --> 00:13:18,046
- You getting this?
- Yeah. I'm getting it.
186
00:13:18,119 --> 00:13:19,450
(GRUNTS)
187
00:13:20,021 --> 00:13:22,455
- Yeah! Fuck him up, Murph!
- How does that feel?
188
00:13:22,524 --> 00:13:25,118
I don't care. You know why?
Because that was a rhetorical question.
189
00:13:25,193 --> 00:13:26,251
(GROANING)
190
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:29,819
Hey, Charlie, what's Latin for,
"I'm a total pussy"?
191
00:13:29,898 --> 00:13:31,798
Let's get out of here.
192
00:13:36,004 --> 00:13:38,973
- MARILYN: Charlie, how'd it go?
- Stellar.
193
00:13:39,474 --> 00:13:41,465
Did you make any friends?
194
00:13:41,576 --> 00:13:43,066
(SIGHING)
195
00:13:45,814 --> 00:13:48,749
Okay, you can forget about
school tomorrow.
196
00:13:48,817 --> 00:13:50,910
I'm calling Dr. Weathers.
197
00:13:51,519 --> 00:13:56,513
Now, your mom tells me that you've been
getting into scrapes with the other boys.
198
00:13:57,292 --> 00:13:58,589
That's the best euphemism
199
00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:01,561
for getting the living crap
kicked out of you that I've ever heard.
200
00:14:01,629 --> 00:14:04,894
And why do you suppose
that you're being picked on?
201
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:08,632
I don't know. I'm abnormal, I guess.
202
00:14:08,703 --> 00:14:10,568
You don't feel normal?
203
00:14:11,573 --> 00:14:15,373
My family has a psychiatrist on call.
How normal can that be?
204
00:14:16,845 --> 00:14:18,642
How are your classes?
205
00:14:19,113 --> 00:14:20,375
They're all right.
206
00:14:20,448 --> 00:14:23,246
I mean, I have trouble
concentrating sometimes.
207
00:14:23,318 --> 00:14:25,650
And what is it that you think about?
208
00:14:26,221 --> 00:14:29,156
I kind of have this one fantasy.
209
00:14:29,224 --> 00:14:30,691
Sexual?
210
00:14:30,758 --> 00:14:32,282
No, not really.
211
00:14:34,362 --> 00:14:37,354
It's just this fantasy of me
stepping out on stage,
212
00:14:37,432 --> 00:14:39,730
and there are all these kids
out in the audience
213
00:14:39,801 --> 00:14:43,794
chanting my name,
like I'm a rock star, you know.
214
00:14:43,872 --> 00:14:46,966
And so, I step up to the mike and I say,
215
00:14:47,442 --> 00:14:49,433
"How you all doing tonight?"
216
00:14:49,511 --> 00:14:51,672
And then they start cheering and cheering.
217
00:14:51,746 --> 00:14:54,442
"It's great to see all of you.
I'm Charlie Bartlett.
218
00:14:54,516 --> 00:14:57,451
"And if there's one thing
I want you to walk away with tonight,
219
00:14:57,519 --> 00:15:00,454
"it's that the sky is the limit.
220
00:15:00,522 --> 00:15:03,753
"So, for those of you with troubles,
for those of you feeling scared,
221
00:15:03,825 --> 00:15:05,918
"or confused or angry,
222
00:15:05,994 --> 00:15:09,555
"remember, you are not alone."
223
00:15:09,631 --> 00:15:11,565
And then they go nuts again.
224
00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:12,725
(PEN SCRATCHING)
225
00:15:21,943 --> 00:15:24,411
Charlie, how are you feeling
about your father these days?
226
00:15:24,479 --> 00:15:26,674
Are you angry that he's gone?
227
00:15:30,385 --> 00:15:32,876
- Gas prices.
- Excuse me?
228
00:15:33,388 --> 00:15:36,824
I also worry a lot in class
about rising gas prices.
229
00:15:40,495 --> 00:15:44,329
Charlie, I'm going to write you
a prescription for Ritalin,
230
00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:47,459
and what I'd like you to do
is start taking the low dose
231
00:15:47,535 --> 00:15:50,129
and if after a few days
you feel no side effects,
232
00:15:50,204 --> 00:15:53,901
then I would like to see
you start taking a higher dose.
233
00:15:53,975 --> 00:15:55,909
So you think I have ADD, or...
234
00:15:55,977 --> 00:16:00,243
We won't know that until the Ritalin
helps this concentration problem.
235
00:16:00,982 --> 00:16:04,975
You mean, if I take the medicine
and it helps me concentrate,
236
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:07,078
we'll know I have ADD?
237
00:16:07,155 --> 00:16:08,645
That's the idea.
238
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:21,125
Welcome back, professor.
239
00:16:21,202 --> 00:16:22,999
- Fuck you.
- Yeah. Fuck you.
240
00:16:24,472 --> 00:16:29,500
Can anyone tell me why Mercury
has only one day per year?
241
00:16:29,711 --> 00:16:33,477
HENRY: Because Mercury is the only planet
that does not rotate on its axis.
242
00:17:10,251 --> 00:17:11,275
(TAPS MICROPHONE)
243
00:17:11,352 --> 00:17:13,149
Hello. Good morning.
244
00:17:14,055 --> 00:17:16,683
The word of the day is "gratitude. "
245
00:17:17,158 --> 00:17:19,422
"Gratitude. The quality of being thankful,
246
00:17:19,494 --> 00:17:22,588
"readiness to show appreciation for
and return kindness. "
247
00:17:22,664 --> 00:17:26,225
As in, if you would all sit down
and shut up,
248
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:29,929
I am prepared to express my gratitude.
Thank you.
249
00:17:30,538 --> 00:17:31,732
A lot on the agenda today.
250
00:17:31,806 --> 00:17:34,832
Our superintendent, Mr. Sedgwick,
is paying us a visit,
251
00:17:34,909 --> 00:17:37,571
so for my sake,
let's be on our best behavior.
252
00:17:37,645 --> 00:17:39,010
(STUDENTS GUFFAWING)
253
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,379
First off, the student lounge will be
closed Monday,
254
00:17:42,450 --> 00:17:44,418
while we install security cameras.
255
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:47,579
(BOOING)
256
00:17:48,823 --> 00:17:50,085
Yes.
257
00:17:50,158 --> 00:17:52,149
How can you do that?
That's, like, invasion of privacy.
258
00:17:52,226 --> 00:17:53,352
(STUDENTS SHOUTING AGREEMENT)
259
00:17:53,428 --> 00:17:54,986
There's a liability issue,
260
00:17:55,063 --> 00:17:57,691
and I'm afraid the board
has already passed the motion.
261
00:17:57,765 --> 00:18:00,928
Anyway, I would now like
to give Mr. Sedgwick the floor
262
00:18:01,002 --> 00:18:02,560
to discuss our cell phone policy.
263
00:18:02,637 --> 00:18:07,472
But the student lounge is the only place
we can hang out without teachers.
264
00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:10,477
Are there cameras in the teachers' lounge?
265
00:18:10,578 --> 00:18:12,068
(ALL LAUGHING)
266
00:18:13,014 --> 00:18:14,038
Hang out?
267
00:18:14,115 --> 00:18:18,017
Okay, we've already moved on
to the cell phone policy.
268
00:18:18,086 --> 00:18:20,646
There will be ample opportunity
to discuss that later, but right now...
269
00:18:20,722 --> 00:18:22,519
This is total and absolute bullshit!
270
00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:23,648
Come on.
271
00:18:23,725 --> 00:18:24,783
(STUDENTS SHOUTING AGREEMENT)
272
00:18:24,859 --> 00:18:26,451
Right. Right.
273
00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:28,960
You know, you kids really need to
find appropriate ways
274
00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:31,692
to express your ingratitude.
275
00:18:31,766 --> 00:18:33,233
Mr. Sedgwick?
276
00:18:35,870 --> 00:18:36,928
The...
277
00:18:37,004 --> 00:18:37,993
(FIRE ALARM RINGING)
278
00:18:38,072 --> 00:18:39,232
(SNICKERING)
279
00:18:40,308 --> 00:18:42,299
GARDNER: Come on, guys, it's nothing.
It's just a fire drill.
280
00:18:42,376 --> 00:18:45,368
Proceed outside in an orderly fashion.
281
00:18:45,446 --> 00:18:47,880
Let's not have a stampede.
282
00:18:47,949 --> 00:18:49,940
They don't have much
respect for you, do they?
283
00:18:50,017 --> 00:18:53,453
In case you haven't noticed,
they're not too fond of you, either.
284
00:18:53,521 --> 00:18:56,081
I said respect, Nathan, not affection.
285
00:18:56,157 --> 00:18:59,149
We're not trying to win
a popularity contest.
286
00:19:16,244 --> 00:19:18,178
(GRUNTING)
287
00:19:57,885 --> 00:19:59,352
(LOW PIANO CHORD RINGING)
288
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,315
I'm really looking forward to us
having the weekend alone.
289
00:20:03,825 --> 00:20:06,817
I thought maybe we could go
to a wine tasting.
290
00:20:07,762 --> 00:20:10,629
We haven't done that since you were a kid.
291
00:20:12,066 --> 00:20:13,795
- Maybe.
- Maybe?
292
00:20:16,871 --> 00:20:19,305
- You haven't touched your food.
- I'm not hungry, Mom.
293
00:20:19,373 --> 00:20:22,536
I'm studying the osmosis of water
through the epidermis.
294
00:20:22,610 --> 00:20:26,671
Now, I cooked a perfectly edible meal,
Charlie Bartlett.
295
00:20:28,049 --> 00:20:31,177
I'm feeling a little under-appreciated
at the moment.
296
00:20:31,252 --> 00:20:35,655
And I think it's very important
that you try to at least eat your greens.
297
00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:39,186
Dear, didn't Dr. Weathers
say something yesterday about fluid?
298
00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:40,784
What did he say about...
299
00:20:40,862 --> 00:20:43,092
(CONTINUES CHATTERING)
300
00:20:48,603 --> 00:20:50,161
Are you listening to me?
301
00:20:51,405 --> 00:20:53,896
Hello!
302
00:20:55,509 --> 00:20:59,707
Can anybody up there hear me?
303
00:21:02,149 --> 00:21:03,980
(PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)
304
00:21:04,051 --> 00:21:06,178
(SCATTING SOFTLY)
305
00:21:14,228 --> 00:21:16,526
(PANTING)
306
00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:28,197
(PLAYING PIANO)
307
00:21:50,932 --> 00:21:52,866
(TICKING)
308
00:21:56,604 --> 00:21:59,835
(SCATTING ENERGETICALLY)
309
00:22:02,076 --> 00:22:04,544
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
310
00:22:06,213 --> 00:22:08,738
Charlie, is that you?
311
00:22:08,816 --> 00:22:13,651
(YELLING GIBBERISH)
312
00:22:14,355 --> 00:22:18,121
Wake up, you sleepyheads, wake up!
313
00:22:22,830 --> 00:22:26,994
Wake up! Wake up!
My name is Charlie Bartlett,
314
00:22:27,068 --> 00:22:29,229
and I am not alone!
315
00:22:29,303 --> 00:22:30,292
(SIRENS BLARING)
316
00:22:31,672 --> 00:22:34,903
Now, there's no history of drug use
whatsoever, Mrs...
317
00:22:36,077 --> 00:22:39,376
It's Marilyn.
Please, no need to be formal here.
318
00:22:39,447 --> 00:22:42,280
And drug use? No, none at all.
319
00:22:43,751 --> 00:22:46,618
Well, it looks like he's coming down some.
320
00:22:47,922 --> 00:22:51,449
I'm not an MD, but it is possible
for Ritalin to get you pretty high.
321
00:22:51,525 --> 00:22:53,925
That's probably what it is.
It is a new medication.
322
00:22:53,995 --> 00:22:58,659
(SINGING) It is a new medication
New medication
323
00:22:58,733 --> 00:23:01,827
New medication
324
00:23:04,939 --> 00:23:06,429
Charlie, dear.
325
00:23:09,810 --> 00:23:13,337
Yeah, as I was saying, a lot of the kids
at the colleges are taking this stuff.
326
00:23:13,414 --> 00:23:17,145
When I was in college,
we were dropping tabs of acid.
327
00:23:17,551 --> 00:23:20,145
OFFICER: I've never partaken in
any illicit drugs myself.
328
00:23:23,591 --> 00:23:24,922
Maybe...
329
00:23:25,626 --> 00:23:27,560
Maybe you got slapped around
too many times
330
00:23:27,628 --> 00:23:30,096
for lunch money on your way to the bus.
331
00:23:30,164 --> 00:23:32,689
Maybe your pop's got a boozing... No.
332
00:23:33,834 --> 00:23:35,495
Maybe your pop...
333
00:23:36,337 --> 00:23:39,397
Maybe your pop's gotta
booze himself up every morning.
334
00:23:39,473 --> 00:23:42,738
(IMITATING FRENCH ACCENT)
Maybe your father has to, how do you say,
335
00:23:43,611 --> 00:23:45,203
plow roads with a sense of humor.
336
00:23:45,279 --> 00:23:47,144
I mean, he has to booze himself up.
337
00:23:47,214 --> 00:23:48,977
With a sense of humor.
338
00:23:49,617 --> 00:23:50,606
(IMITATES LAUGHTER)
339
00:23:56,690 --> 00:23:58,851
- Morning.
- Good morning.
340
00:23:58,926 --> 00:24:00,154
- GIRL: Hey, Charlie.
- Hey.
341
00:24:00,227 --> 00:24:02,286
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, guys.
342
00:24:02,363 --> 00:24:04,490
- Hey, Len.
- Hey, Charlie.
343
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:10,261
Len, do you feel like making 50 bucks
after school today?
344
00:24:10,337 --> 00:24:11,668
Fifty bucks.
345
00:24:24,485 --> 00:24:25,577
(TIRES SQUEALING)
346
00:24:25,653 --> 00:24:27,314
Hey!
347
00:24:28,489 --> 00:24:29,922
What the hell is this?
348
00:24:29,990 --> 00:24:33,585
- Charlie wants to talk to you.
- Suck this, mongoloid.
349
00:24:34,228 --> 00:24:36,253
Get the hell off me! Fuck!
350
00:24:37,765 --> 00:24:39,255
(GRUNTING)
351
00:24:40,267 --> 00:24:41,529
Hi, Murphy. How are you?
352
00:24:41,602 --> 00:24:43,160
You must have a fucking death wish!
353
00:24:43,237 --> 00:24:45,865
Charlie says you gotta be nice.
354
00:24:45,940 --> 00:24:49,671
Look, Murph, I think we got started off
on the wrong foot.
355
00:24:49,743 --> 00:24:52,268
- I want to work things out.
- I'm gonna put you in the fucking hospital.
356
00:24:52,346 --> 00:24:53,370
(GROANS)
357
00:24:53,447 --> 00:24:54,675
- Len.
- Fuck.
358
00:24:55,616 --> 00:24:56,810
Len.
359
00:25:01,489 --> 00:25:06,290
Listen, Murph, I've had a lot of time
to think about what you did to me.
360
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:09,124
Yeah? What did you come up with, genius?
361
00:25:09,196 --> 00:25:10,925
I think you're angry, man.
362
00:25:10,998 --> 00:25:13,592
What have I got to be angry about?
363
00:25:16,971 --> 00:25:18,939
Maybe you got slapped around
one too many times
364
00:25:19,006 --> 00:25:21,497
for lunch money on your way to the bus.
365
00:25:21,575 --> 00:25:23,873
Maybe your pop's gotta
booze himself up every morning
366
00:25:23,944 --> 00:25:26,276
so he can plow roads
with a sense of humor.
367
00:25:26,347 --> 00:25:28,474
Then when he gets home, you're just
368
00:25:28,549 --> 00:25:31,677
a distant third to Sloppy Joes
and a bad sitcom.
369
00:25:32,353 --> 00:25:35,811
Maybe the cheerleaders call you
a scumbag behind your back.
370
00:25:36,257 --> 00:25:38,885
Maybe it's because the school’s
got you placed on the remedial track
371
00:25:38,959 --> 00:25:43,123
and your teachers are really good
at making you feel like an idiot.
372
00:25:47,535 --> 00:25:49,969
Maybe it's none of these things.
373
00:25:50,905 --> 00:25:53,373
Maybe it's all of them.
374
00:25:58,546 --> 00:26:02,277
- What do you want from me?
- I wanna be your friend, Murphy.
375
00:26:05,152 --> 00:26:07,848
Okay, maybe you're not a total tool,
376
00:26:07,922 --> 00:26:11,790
but guys like you and guys like me
can't be friends.
377
00:26:12,193 --> 00:26:15,060
- Why's that?
- I take the train tracks home.
378
00:26:15,663 --> 00:26:19,190
- You drive around in a limo.
- I guess you're right.
379
00:26:20,201 --> 00:26:23,864
Look, I got 90 pills of Ritalin
that we could sell at the dance.
380
00:26:23,938 --> 00:26:27,738
Maybe we're just gonna have to
settle for being business partners.
381
00:26:27,808 --> 00:26:28,866
What do these do?
382
00:26:28,943 --> 00:26:32,140
Floods the brain
with norepinephrine and dopamine.
383
00:26:33,214 --> 00:26:34,875
It gets you high.
384
00:26:35,816 --> 00:26:37,340
So, I figure $10 a pill, right?
385
00:26:37,418 --> 00:26:38,476
We split the profit,
386
00:26:38,552 --> 00:26:42,545
which means you make almost 500 bucks
without spending a nickel.
387
00:26:48,462 --> 00:26:50,396
Business partners, huh?
388
00:26:54,068 --> 00:26:55,626
SUSAN: So, 1:00, right?
389
00:26:55,703 --> 00:26:57,694
What? What happens at 1:00?
390
00:26:57,771 --> 00:27:00,740
- My curfew, at 1:00.
- Where are you going?
391
00:27:00,808 --> 00:27:04,642
The dance, Dad. I'm going to the dance.
I told you last week.
392
00:27:05,312 --> 00:27:07,712
- Have you given up your singing?
- No. Why?
393
00:27:07,781 --> 00:27:10,477
I don't know, just...
You've got a great voice.
394
00:27:10,551 --> 00:27:12,348
I used to love coming home
to hear you singing in the other room.
395
00:27:12,419 --> 00:27:13,443
(PHONE BUZZING)
396
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,318
That's how I knew
you were happy, I guess.
397
00:27:17,958 --> 00:27:21,052
Happily texting,
ignoring this intimate exchange.
398
00:27:21,128 --> 00:27:23,392
Who's that? Who are you texting?
399
00:27:23,464 --> 00:27:25,193
Rodine's outside.
400
00:27:26,967 --> 00:27:28,161
Have fun.
401
00:27:28,235 --> 00:27:31,727
- I will. So, 2:00, right?
- Nice try.
402
00:27:31,805 --> 00:27:35,297
God, I liked you better
when you were a history teacher.
403
00:27:35,376 --> 00:27:37,173
That makes two of us.
404
00:27:39,546 --> 00:27:42,538
- I'll see you guys in a minute.
- Okay.
405
00:27:42,616 --> 00:27:45,449
- Hey, Susan.
- Hey.
406
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,247
So, you think there's any chance
of a dance tonight, or...
407
00:27:50,524 --> 00:27:51,889
(CHUCKLES)
408
00:27:51,959 --> 00:27:55,554
I'd say there's a distinct possibility,
Charlie Bartlett.
409
00:28:00,567 --> 00:28:01,625
Hey.
410
00:28:02,903 --> 00:28:06,031
- So, how did we do?
- Well, it's gone.
411
00:28:06,607 --> 00:28:09,337
- Gone?
- All of it. Every last pill.
412
00:28:10,177 --> 00:28:11,542
It's gone.
413
00:28:12,046 --> 00:28:13,513
- Well, shit.
- Yeah.
414
00:28:13,981 --> 00:28:17,280
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
415
00:28:18,218 --> 00:28:20,083
Superman!
416
00:28:20,154 --> 00:28:22,782
Eighty-eight miles per hour!
417
00:28:27,761 --> 00:28:31,720
(UPBEA TMUSIC BLARING)
418
00:28:31,799 --> 00:28:33,198
Fucking A!
419
00:28:45,813 --> 00:28:47,212
(HONKING)
420
00:28:54,722 --> 00:28:56,917
Hey, Charlie. What's up, man?
421
00:28:57,791 --> 00:29:02,023
God damn right, it's a beautiful day
Uh-huh
422
00:29:02,129 --> 00:29:06,361
God damn right, it's a beautiful day
Uh-huh
423
00:29:06,734 --> 00:29:08,065
Hey, man.
424
00:29:09,770 --> 00:29:11,101
Uh-huh
425
00:29:14,742 --> 00:29:18,872
God damn right, it's a beautiful day
Uh-huh
426
00:29:29,623 --> 00:29:31,318
(FOCUSING)
427
00:29:42,703 --> 00:29:45,001
(ALL PROTESTING)
428
00:29:46,540 --> 00:29:49,100
- This sucks.
- Seriously sucks.
429
00:30:03,257 --> 00:30:04,622
Thank you.
430
00:30:05,359 --> 00:30:06,951
Charlie, you want to sign this petition?
431
00:30:07,027 --> 00:30:08,756
It's to get the security cameras
out of our student lounge.
432
00:30:08,829 --> 00:30:10,319
Oh, absolutely.
433
00:30:11,165 --> 00:30:13,258
- It's right here.
- All right.
434
00:30:13,567 --> 00:30:14,625
- Thanks.
- No problem.
435
00:30:14,701 --> 00:30:16,032
See you later, Charlie.
436
00:30:16,103 --> 00:30:18,333
- Hey, girls. You gonna sign this?
- GIRL: Yeah.
437
00:30:18,405 --> 00:30:22,239
(HUMMING)
438
00:30:23,410 --> 00:30:24,434
Hi.
439
00:30:27,948 --> 00:30:30,178
- You're Charlie Bartlett, right?
- Yeah.
440
00:30:30,250 --> 00:30:32,411
I'm Kip. Kip Crombwell.
441
00:30:33,420 --> 00:30:35,320
Nice to meet you, Kip.
442
00:30:37,224 --> 00:30:38,350
Yeah.
443
00:30:39,460 --> 00:30:43,954
Do you think there's any way
that we could maybe talk in private?
444
00:30:47,468 --> 00:30:48,560
Sure.
445
00:30:49,303 --> 00:30:52,795
HENRY: Everyone, come on, this petition
gets those cameras out of our lounge.
446
00:30:56,877 --> 00:30:58,367
So, what's up?
447
00:31:01,081 --> 00:31:04,244
Is it true that you can get a hold
of medication?
448
00:31:05,152 --> 00:31:07,552
Yeah, I guess. Why? What's going on?
449
00:31:11,091 --> 00:31:13,525
I'm, like, totally depressed.
450
00:31:13,594 --> 00:31:17,121
I've been having these spells,
and trouble breathing,
451
00:31:17,197 --> 00:31:18,789
mostly in class.
452
00:31:20,634 --> 00:31:22,534
What does it feel like?
453
00:31:22,936 --> 00:31:25,131
It feels like a heart attack.
454
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,603
But I'm thinking, you know,
it's probably mental.
455
00:31:31,645 --> 00:31:32,703
And I can't go to my parents about it,
456
00:31:32,779 --> 00:31:35,475
because they already think I'm a freak,
so I just thought that you...
457
00:31:35,549 --> 00:31:38,177
Look, I'm not a doctor, but...
458
00:31:39,086 --> 00:31:41,816
I don't know if Ritalin's gonna help you.
459
00:31:42,589 --> 00:31:44,682
Do you know what would?
460
00:31:44,758 --> 00:31:46,225
I'm not sure.
461
00:31:49,863 --> 00:31:51,888
But I'm gonna find out.
462
00:31:52,399 --> 00:31:54,890
I'm gonna work this out, I promise.
463
00:31:55,903 --> 00:31:57,029
Yeah.
464
00:31:57,671 --> 00:31:58,660
Thanks.
465
00:32:26,033 --> 00:32:31,096
I get short of breath and dizzy,
you know, nausea, blurred vision.
466
00:32:31,171 --> 00:32:34,299
I mean, sometimes it feels like
a heart attack.
467
00:32:34,374 --> 00:32:36,774
Yeah, we call that a panic attack.
468
00:32:36,843 --> 00:32:38,572
Oh, is that what they call it?
469
00:32:38,645 --> 00:32:40,010
Well, what can we do?
470
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:44,517
Well, I think maybe
I'll put you on a low dose of
471
00:32:44,585 --> 00:32:47,383
Xanax and Zoloft.
472
00:32:50,390 --> 00:32:53,882
Okay, so, here's the thing.
In everything that I've read,
473
00:32:53,961 --> 00:32:57,863
there's not one case of anyone dying
of a panic attack.
474
00:32:58,899 --> 00:33:01,333
- No?
- No. Not one.
475
00:33:01,401 --> 00:33:05,235
So the next time you start to feel anxious,
you just tell yourself,
476
00:33:05,305 --> 00:33:09,537
"Hey, I'm having a panic attack.
I'm not gonna die.
477
00:33:09,610 --> 00:33:13,341
"In fact, in 15 minutes,
I'll probably feel fine."
478
00:33:16,116 --> 00:33:17,845
What do I do until then?
479
00:33:18,418 --> 00:33:20,750
CHARLIE: Murph, start him on
50 milligrams of Zoloft
480
00:33:20,821 --> 00:33:23,881
and half a milligram of Xanax as needed.
481
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,824
Here, Kip, this should provide you
with some relief
482
00:33:28,895 --> 00:33:31,295
and we'll just meet next week,
same time, same place, okay?
483
00:33:31,365 --> 00:33:32,491
(BELL RINGING)
484
00:33:32,566 --> 00:33:35,399
- Thank you, Charlie.
- No problem. Be nice, Murphy.
485
00:33:50,484 --> 00:33:53,385
Charlie, I spoke to Dr. Weathers today.
486
00:33:53,453 --> 00:33:56,251
He said you may have not only ADD,
487
00:33:56,957 --> 00:34:00,358
but a whole battery
of psychological disorders
488
00:34:00,427 --> 00:34:03,089
that will likely plague you for life.
489
00:34:03,230 --> 00:34:04,322
(SCOFFS)
490
00:34:04,665 --> 00:34:06,565
Sounds a bit melodramatic,
don't you think?
491
00:34:06,633 --> 00:34:08,225
That's what I said.
492
00:34:08,301 --> 00:34:12,397
Then he went on to imply that
you may have inherited it from me.
493
00:34:13,206 --> 00:34:15,071
I was rather perturbed.
494
00:34:15,142 --> 00:34:18,475
I mean, look at me.
I'm as fit as a fucking fiddle.
495
00:34:20,013 --> 00:34:21,913
Can't argue with that.
496
00:34:23,083 --> 00:34:25,551
Are you making any friends at all?
497
00:34:27,087 --> 00:34:28,611
Working on it.
498
00:34:31,792 --> 00:34:34,226
He says he doesn't want to see me.
499
00:34:34,294 --> 00:34:36,353
I can't stop crying.
500
00:34:36,430 --> 00:34:41,094
Well, sometimes people say one thing
and they really mean another, like...
501
00:34:41,168 --> 00:34:44,433
He called me a loser,
and last night he hit my mom.
502
00:34:45,305 --> 00:34:48,832
You have to understand that
what he's doing isn't because of you.
503
00:34:48,909 --> 00:34:50,968
He hates his life so much that...
504
00:34:51,044 --> 00:34:54,810
AII I wanna do is drop acid.
I just can't handle this place.
505
00:34:56,016 --> 00:34:58,211
Duh, dude. This place sucks.
506
00:34:58,585 --> 00:35:00,917
But I just worry that one day
we're gonna look back at high school
507
00:35:00,987 --> 00:35:03,114
and wish we'd done something different.
508
00:35:03,190 --> 00:35:04,248
So maybe you should...
509
00:35:04,324 --> 00:35:05,416
Get breast implants.
510
00:35:05,492 --> 00:35:07,426
I mean, a lot of my friends
are getting them.
511
00:35:07,494 --> 00:35:09,894
Well, that's up to you,
but speaking as a guy,
512
00:35:09,963 --> 00:35:12,591
it's kind of a turnoff when a girl
isn't cool with being herself.
513
00:35:13,100 --> 00:35:15,000
I'm not saying that I'm gay.
514
00:35:15,535 --> 00:35:18,732
So what if, you know,
I'm not attracted to girls?
515
00:35:19,206 --> 00:35:21,367
You know, this sucks, man.
516
00:35:21,441 --> 00:35:24,342
Well, at least you're attracted
to somebody.
517
00:35:24,411 --> 00:35:26,902
I mean, if you weren't,
then we'd really be up shit's creek.
518
00:35:27,647 --> 00:35:30,514
I feel very productive,
and I can't sleep at all.
519
00:35:30,584 --> 00:35:34,418
I lose weight,
and I'm given to frivolous spending
520
00:35:34,488 --> 00:35:36,080
and promiscuity.
521
00:35:36,656 --> 00:35:38,783
Wow. What I'd like to do is...
522
00:35:38,859 --> 00:35:41,828
Introduce you to some of
the serotonergic antidepressants,
523
00:35:41,895 --> 00:35:43,385
like Prozac.
524
00:35:43,463 --> 00:35:44,555
What else can you tell me about...
525
00:35:44,631 --> 00:35:49,125
Feelings of depersonalization
and boredom.
526
00:35:49,436 --> 00:35:51,427
Anger and aggression. Irritability.
527
00:35:51,505 --> 00:35:54,633
Obsessive behavior is I guess
what you guys call it.
528
00:35:54,708 --> 00:35:58,940
Like, whenever I hear anyone say a word
that starts with the letter...
529
00:35:59,446 --> 00:36:01,971
I have to say five words that start
with the letter "V"
530
00:36:02,048 --> 00:36:04,608
and tap my head with my right hand.
531
00:36:05,552 --> 00:36:06,576
Perhaps we should start with...
532
00:36:06,653 --> 00:36:09,884
Viagra! Virgin! Venal! Vagabond! Vagina!
533
00:36:18,431 --> 00:36:22,026
Ain't I clean, bad machine
super cool, super mean
534
00:36:22,235 --> 00:36:26,001
Feelin' good for the man
Superfly, here I stand
535
00:36:26,072 --> 00:36:27,835
Secret stash, heavy bread
536
00:36:27,908 --> 00:36:29,466
- Thanks.
- No problem.
537
00:36:29,543 --> 00:36:30,669
You're in luck.
538
00:36:30,744 --> 00:36:32,541
We're running a special
on Wellbutrin today.
539
00:36:32,612 --> 00:36:33,738
(PILLS RATTLING)
540
00:36:34,347 --> 00:36:36,212
I'm your pusherman
541
00:36:37,350 --> 00:36:39,511
Heavy mind
Have you signed?
542
00:36:39,586 --> 00:36:42,612
Is there something wrong
with the other bathroom?
543
00:36:42,689 --> 00:36:43,678
Yo!
544
00:36:44,991 --> 00:36:48,586
Ghetto prince is my thing
Makin' love's how I swing
545
00:36:48,829 --> 00:36:51,229
I'm your pusherman
546
00:36:52,699 --> 00:36:54,030
I'm your pusherman
547
00:36:54,534 --> 00:36:55,933
GIRL: Hi, Charlie!
548
00:36:56,570 --> 00:36:59,038
- Hi, Charlie!
- Hi, Charlie!
549
00:37:00,073 --> 00:37:01,165
Hi.
550
00:37:02,976 --> 00:37:06,139
I'm so glad to hear
that you're doing better, Charlie.
551
00:37:06,213 --> 00:37:08,272
The truth is, we sometimes don't know
552
00:37:08,348 --> 00:37:10,282
how you youngsters
are gonna react to these medications.
553
00:37:11,751 --> 00:37:15,312
Trust me, Doc, bringing psychiatric
drugs and teenagers together
554
00:37:15,388 --> 00:37:18,482
is like opening a lemonade stand
in the desert.
555
00:37:19,926 --> 00:37:22,417
(CLANGING)
556
00:37:23,463 --> 00:37:27,900
Can you shut the fuck up for one second?
We're working here. Shit.
557
00:37:27,968 --> 00:37:30,869
- Whatever, man.
- Fuck.
558
00:37:31,638 --> 00:37:33,071
(CHARLIE GROANING ON TV)
559
00:37:33,139 --> 00:37:35,903
Murph, is that my face making that sound?
560
00:37:37,043 --> 00:37:40,274
Yeah. It's kind of sad, dude.
You didn't even put up a fight.
561
00:37:40,347 --> 00:37:43,145
What did you tape this for, anyway?
562
00:37:43,216 --> 00:37:46,276
I always have my fights taped.
It's what I do.
563
00:37:46,853 --> 00:37:47,842
Really?
564
00:37:47,921 --> 00:37:52,381
Yeah, man, they're fun to watch in, like,
a Greatest Rodeo Deaths kind of way.
565
00:37:52,459 --> 00:37:54,689
You don't feel bad
for the kids or anything?
566
00:37:54,761 --> 00:37:55,921
Bad?
567
00:37:59,466 --> 00:38:00,728
Kind of.
568
00:38:01,902 --> 00:38:04,268
Well, what do you want me to do?
569
00:38:05,605 --> 00:38:09,234
- Maybe we should make it up to them?
- Dude, are you serious?
570
00:38:09,676 --> 00:38:11,439
CHARLIE: Charlie Bartlett
Productions brings you.
571
00:38:11,511 --> 00:38:12,535
(READING)
572
00:38:16,082 --> 00:38:18,448
Starring Murphy Bivens!
573
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:21,678
Bert Bannister!
574
00:38:21,755 --> 00:38:22,915
Hammer!
575
00:38:25,358 --> 00:38:26,848
Terry Gotham!
576
00:38:29,529 --> 00:38:30,553
Phuc Nguyen!
577
00:38:33,133 --> 00:38:36,193
Charlie Bartlett! And Kip Cromwell,
578
00:38:36,269 --> 00:38:39,397
the kid whose name
you probably didn't know.
579
00:38:39,606 --> 00:38:40,630
(LOCKER DOOR SLAMS)
580
00:38:40,740 --> 00:38:41,832
(KIDS GRUNTING)
581
00:38:41,908 --> 00:38:46,504
Right here on Western Summit High's
Greatest After School Fights!
582
00:38:47,681 --> 00:38:51,117
Watch Murphy Bivens' fists of fury
pummel your best friends.
583
00:38:51,184 --> 00:38:54,051
Get them while they last!
Bert Bannister hit in the face!
584
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,054
Charlie Bartlett punched in the eye!
585
00:38:56,122 --> 00:38:59,182
Instant gratification or your money back!
586
00:38:59,259 --> 00:39:01,193
Ladies and gentlemen, we are almost out!
587
00:39:01,261 --> 00:39:02,694
- Hey, Charlie.
- Kip. Hey.
588
00:39:02,762 --> 00:39:04,855
I heard that you were giving us
some of the proceeds?
589
00:39:04,931 --> 00:39:06,796
You heard right, my friend. Murph?
590
00:39:06,866 --> 00:39:08,128
There you go.
Pleasure doing business with you.
591
00:39:08,201 --> 00:39:09,998
- Hey, Murph.
- Come on.
592
00:39:10,070 --> 00:39:11,332
Murph.
593
00:39:12,973 --> 00:39:14,736
- I'll see you in the sequel, bitch!
- Thank you.
594
00:39:14,808 --> 00:39:16,435
Sequel coming out this fall!
595
00:39:16,509 --> 00:39:19,103
Ladies and gentlemen,
even better than this one!
596
00:39:32,826 --> 00:39:35,761
SECRETARY: Charlie Bartlett
to the principal's office.
597
00:39:37,197 --> 00:39:40,394
So, you're the infamous Charlie Bartlett.
We haven't officially met yet.
598
00:39:40,467 --> 00:39:42,332
I'm Nathan Gardner,
your beloved principal,
599
00:39:42,402 --> 00:39:44,393
and this is our superintendent,
Mr. Sedgwick,
600
00:39:44,471 --> 00:39:47,099
who made a special visit to meet you.
601
00:39:49,209 --> 00:39:52,201
Is it safe to assume
you know why you're here?
602
00:39:53,446 --> 00:39:55,038
No, not exactly.
603
00:39:58,785 --> 00:40:00,946
(KIP GROANING)
604
00:40:03,189 --> 00:40:06,215
This might well be the most disturbing
thing I've ever seen at this school.
605
00:40:06,292 --> 00:40:09,625
Peddling this kind of trash
makes you reprehensible.
606
00:40:11,464 --> 00:40:13,830
Do you know
what "reprehensible" means?
607
00:40:13,900 --> 00:40:17,097
- Yes, sir.
- Do you understand what you did wrong?
608
00:40:18,104 --> 00:40:19,901
No, sir. Not really.
609
00:40:21,608 --> 00:40:22,597
Not really? Okay.
610
00:40:22,675 --> 00:40:26,406
Well, you've got three days
of suspension to think about it.
611
00:40:30,550 --> 00:40:32,074
Hey, what's up?
612
00:40:32,152 --> 00:40:34,484
Hey, aren't you suspended?
613
00:40:34,554 --> 00:40:35,612
- Yeah.
- Nice.
614
00:40:35,688 --> 00:40:37,952
- CHARLIE: Hey, do you wanna hang out?
- Sure.
615
00:40:38,024 --> 00:40:40,959
- Cool. Come inside.
- (CHUCKLING) Thank you.
616
00:40:42,028 --> 00:40:44,292
CHARLIE: (FRENCH ACCENT) Do you want
to spend an evening at Château Bartlett?
617
00:40:44,364 --> 00:40:45,422
SUSAN: Yes.
618
00:40:45,498 --> 00:40:47,693
CHARLIE: Thomas, Château Bartlett,
please.
619
00:40:49,602 --> 00:40:52,571
SUSAN: Is this technically
considered a mansion?
620
00:40:52,639 --> 00:40:55,767
Well, my mom calls it "The Estate."
621
00:40:55,842 --> 00:40:57,366
Oh. La-di-da.
622
00:40:58,978 --> 00:41:01,310
Oh, can you play this one?
623
00:41:01,815 --> 00:41:03,043
Yeah.
624
00:41:04,050 --> 00:41:05,711
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
625
00:41:11,658 --> 00:41:15,458
BOTH: (SINGING)
Well, if you want to sing out, sing out
626
00:41:15,528 --> 00:41:19,396
And if you want to be free, be free
627
00:41:19,466 --> 00:41:22,663
'Cause there's a million things to be
628
00:41:22,735 --> 00:41:25,863
You know that there are
629
00:41:27,207 --> 00:41:31,166
And if you want to live high, live high
630
00:41:31,244 --> 00:41:35,647
And if you wanna live low, live low
631
00:41:41,254 --> 00:41:44,712
You can do what you want
632
00:41:45,425 --> 00:41:48,258
The opportunity's on
633
00:41:48,328 --> 00:41:51,627
And if you find a new way
634
00:41:51,698 --> 00:41:54,963
You can do it today
635
00:41:57,871 --> 00:41:59,168
Hi, Mom.
636
00:42:01,274 --> 00:42:04,334
Oh, yeah. Mom, this is Susan.
637
00:42:04,410 --> 00:42:07,208
Susan, this is my mother, Marilyn.
638
00:42:07,847 --> 00:42:10,839
It's such a pleasure to meet you, Susan.
639
00:42:10,917 --> 00:42:13,010
Yeah, you too, Marilyn.
640
00:42:15,088 --> 00:42:16,680
(CHUCKLES)
641
00:42:20,226 --> 00:42:21,215
(SILENTLY)
642
00:42:26,166 --> 00:42:29,101
- She seems very nice.
- Yeah.
643
00:42:30,103 --> 00:42:32,571
Do I get to meet your dad, too?
644
00:42:35,041 --> 00:42:38,442
No, he's actually not with us anymore.
645
00:42:38,511 --> 00:42:40,001
Oh. I'm sorry.
646
00:42:41,147 --> 00:42:43,377
Yeah. It's okay.
647
00:42:44,617 --> 00:42:47,484
He was a CIA agent, you know. Yeah.
648
00:42:47,554 --> 00:42:51,513
He survived Somalia, Yugoslavia, Iraq.
649
00:42:52,058 --> 00:42:54,151
Finally, he came home, you know,
650
00:42:54,227 --> 00:42:57,822
and our favorite thing to do together
was to get ice cream.
651
00:42:58,531 --> 00:43:01,227
So, one day, I was just sitting around
652
00:43:01,301 --> 00:43:04,031
and I heard the ice cream truck outside
653
00:43:04,103 --> 00:43:06,833
and it always played the same song,
654
00:43:06,906 --> 00:43:08,669
Yankee Doodle.
655
00:43:09,209 --> 00:43:12,804
So, basically, he ran out
to stop the truck and it just
656
00:43:12,879 --> 00:43:15,871
drove right over him
and killed him instantly.
657
00:43:17,116 --> 00:43:18,811
Are you fucking with me?
658
00:43:18,952 --> 00:43:19,941
(STARTS PLAYING PIANO)
659
00:43:20,019 --> 00:43:21,384
(IMITATING ENGLISH ACCENT)
Yankee Doodle went to town
660
00:43:21,454 --> 00:43:23,149
riding on a pony
661
00:43:23,223 --> 00:43:27,023
Stuck a feather in his hat
and called it macaroni
662
00:43:30,296 --> 00:43:31,320
(CLAPPING SOFTLY)
663
00:43:31,397 --> 00:43:33,490
- Bravo. Really.
- Thank you.
664
00:43:33,566 --> 00:43:35,227
You're too kind.
665
00:43:37,270 --> 00:43:39,670
Say, George, just one more will do.
666
00:43:41,474 --> 00:43:42,736
Thanks.
667
00:43:43,843 --> 00:43:46,368
- How you doing, Nate?
- Hi, Bert.
668
00:43:46,446 --> 00:43:47,970
What's going on? How you been?
669
00:43:48,047 --> 00:43:49,139
Good.
670
00:43:50,383 --> 00:43:51,907
Listen, Nate,
671
00:43:52,852 --> 00:43:55,582
do you know this Charlie Bartlett kid?
672
00:43:57,190 --> 00:43:59,158
A bit. Why do you ask?
673
00:44:01,060 --> 00:44:02,527
You're not gonna like it.
674
00:44:02,595 --> 00:44:05,564
(MUSIC BLARING)
675
00:44:05,632 --> 00:44:07,623
- What?
- Get off the phone.
676
00:44:08,234 --> 00:44:09,462
- Hang up the phone.
- Okay.
677
00:44:09,535 --> 00:44:11,867
- Thank you.
- I'll call you right back.
678
00:44:11,938 --> 00:44:14,031
You're gonna shut down this power grid,
please, for one second.
679
00:44:14,107 --> 00:44:15,472
Thank you.
680
00:44:17,377 --> 00:44:18,742
And the TV.
681
00:44:19,078 --> 00:44:20,477
Whatever.
682
00:44:22,048 --> 00:44:23,106
What?
683
00:44:23,182 --> 00:44:26,117
Are you seeing a boy
named Charlie Bartlett?
684
00:44:26,185 --> 00:44:27,743
Well, if you know I am,
why are you asking?
685
00:44:27,820 --> 00:44:29,981
I don't know, but now I do. Okay?
686
00:44:30,056 --> 00:44:31,717
What does he want?
687
00:44:32,225 --> 00:44:33,317
Are you drunk?
688
00:44:33,393 --> 00:44:35,293
Do you expect me to qualify that
with an answer?
689
00:44:35,361 --> 00:44:37,056
Be really careful right now.
I'm not kidding.
690
00:44:37,130 --> 00:44:38,825
I met this kid. I was a teenage boy once...
691
00:44:38,898 --> 00:44:40,456
You know what? I would understand
if you were drunk, Dad,
692
00:44:40,533 --> 00:44:43,127
- because you're acting like a jackass!
- Sweetie, be open to the possibility
693
00:44:43,202 --> 00:44:45,033
that he would love
to tell his friends how he...
694
00:44:45,104 --> 00:44:46,969
Oh, how he what?
695
00:44:49,208 --> 00:44:50,402
You know.
696
00:44:50,476 --> 00:44:53,036
- No. How he what?
- Yes. You know what.
697
00:44:53,546 --> 00:44:56,014
How he... With the principal’s daughter.
698
00:44:56,082 --> 00:44:57,310
Come on.
699
00:44:59,052 --> 00:45:00,144
Shit.
700
00:45:04,557 --> 00:45:05,785
Wow.
701
00:45:05,858 --> 00:45:07,382
Thanks for the wonderful
compliment, Dad.
702
00:45:07,460 --> 00:45:09,121
Come on, obviously, that came out wrong.
703
00:45:09,195 --> 00:45:10,492
Sure did.
704
00:45:39,525 --> 00:45:41,550
Time to get up, Charlie.
705
00:45:42,161 --> 00:45:43,150
(GROANS)
706
00:45:43,563 --> 00:45:46,327
I don't have to go anywhere, Mom.
I'm suspended.
707
00:45:46,399 --> 00:45:48,162
I am aware of that.
708
00:45:48,234 --> 00:45:51,761
Come on. Get dressed.
We're visiting your father today.
709
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,294
Thank you, Thomas.
710
00:46:16,362 --> 00:46:17,590
Charlie?
711
00:46:21,901 --> 00:46:24,426
You come in when you're ready, dear.
712
00:46:27,940 --> 00:46:28,929
(DOOR CLOSES)
713
00:46:53,566 --> 00:46:55,227
- Was he worried?
- Nope.
714
00:46:55,301 --> 00:47:00,068
He says, whatever's going on with you,
he's sure you're going to work it out.
715
00:47:02,475 --> 00:47:04,705
Yeah, that sounds about right.
716
00:47:06,179 --> 00:47:07,339
(PEN TAPPING NERVOUSLY)
717
00:47:08,981 --> 00:47:10,573
Boy, time flies.
718
00:47:11,684 --> 00:47:14,050
How was your 72-hour meditation?
719
00:47:14,987 --> 00:47:16,477
Pretty enlightening.
720
00:47:16,556 --> 00:47:19,855
Yeah, I'm proud to say
I'm completely rehabilitated.
721
00:47:20,460 --> 00:47:22,860
Very interesting resume, Charlie.
722
00:47:23,329 --> 00:47:25,559
Is there a private school
you haven't been kicked out of?
723
00:47:25,631 --> 00:47:29,032
- Why? You checking up on me?
- Don't flatter yourself.
724
00:47:29,535 --> 00:47:30,729
Sorry.
725
00:47:30,803 --> 00:47:32,828
Principals have access
to academic records.
726
00:47:32,905 --> 00:47:37,137
As you know, I'm the principal,
and as principal I will do my best
727
00:47:37,210 --> 00:47:41,442
to help you graduate with
what you will need to survive in the world.
728
00:47:42,114 --> 00:47:45,242
But I'm not always the principal.
Sometimes I'm other things.
729
00:47:45,318 --> 00:47:46,979
Really? Like what?
730
00:47:47,453 --> 00:47:49,216
Like Susan's father.
731
00:47:51,123 --> 00:47:52,181
Oh.
732
00:47:53,259 --> 00:47:55,727
Don't worry, Charlie,
I'm not gonna call you into my office
733
00:47:55,795 --> 00:47:58,093
and have one of those intimidating
father-boyfriend talks.
734
00:47:58,164 --> 00:48:00,132
I'm not that kind of dad.
735
00:48:00,199 --> 00:48:01,564
Well, thank you.
736
00:48:01,634 --> 00:48:02,794
Because if I were one of those dads,
737
00:48:02,869 --> 00:48:06,965
I'd probably say how my job
is a distant second to my daughter,
738
00:48:08,541 --> 00:48:10,065
and so help me God, if you get out of line,
739
00:48:10,142 --> 00:48:14,010
I will take a massive steaming dump
on your life.
740
00:48:21,854 --> 00:48:23,446
(EXHALES)
741
00:48:24,123 --> 00:48:25,988
Good to have you back.
742
00:48:26,893 --> 00:48:27,917
(DOOR OPENING)
743
00:48:27,994 --> 00:48:30,292
- SUSAN: Hey, Murph.
- Hey.
744
00:48:32,031 --> 00:48:34,124
- Hello.
- Hello.
745
00:48:34,734 --> 00:48:39,535
So, how does this work?
Do I just talk, or... Does Murphy listen?
746
00:48:39,605 --> 00:48:42,904
Well, he's bound
by a confidentiality agreement.
747
00:48:42,975 --> 00:48:45,443
But he can leave if you want.
748
00:48:45,511 --> 00:48:49,003
- Yeah, maybe just for this first time.
- All right.
749
00:48:49,081 --> 00:48:50,912
Sorry, Murph.
750
00:48:50,983 --> 00:48:52,644
Yeah, yeah, I heard you.
751
00:48:52,718 --> 00:48:54,982
It's not like
I'm your fucking business partner.
752
00:48:55,054 --> 00:48:57,079
So, what did my dad want?
753
00:48:59,559 --> 00:49:01,550
He just wanted to welcome me back.
754
00:49:01,627 --> 00:49:04,994
He didn't say anything about me
hanging out with you?
755
00:49:05,932 --> 00:49:07,297
Not really.
756
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:12,034
Maybe the way to do this
is to ask a question.
757
00:49:13,005 --> 00:49:14,495
What question?
758
00:49:14,974 --> 00:49:18,034
Charlie, I don't know.
You're the professional.
759
00:49:18,945 --> 00:49:23,348
All right. Well, I guess the obvious one is
how do you feel about your dad?
760
00:49:23,416 --> 00:49:27,352
You mean, besides the fact that this
stupid job turned him into an alcoholic?
761
00:49:27,420 --> 00:49:28,512
Okay.
762
00:49:29,889 --> 00:49:31,982
How do you feel about that?
763
00:49:32,391 --> 00:49:36,020
I think it actually bothers him
more than me, to be honest.
764
00:49:36,095 --> 00:49:38,222
But there was the night.
765
00:49:39,265 --> 00:49:40,994
What's "the night"?
766
00:49:42,268 --> 00:49:45,169
The night he found out
my mother was having an affair.
767
00:49:45,237 --> 00:49:50,834
He was plastered, waving this.38 revolver
around, threatening to kill himself.
768
00:49:53,346 --> 00:49:54,335
Wow.
769
00:49:57,883 --> 00:50:00,613
So, your mom left and you stayed, right?
770
00:50:02,321 --> 00:50:03,982
Yeah, pretty much.
771
00:50:05,625 --> 00:50:08,355
Well, he promised to get rid of the gun,
772
00:50:08,427 --> 00:50:10,827
and then he went into treatment
for a while.
773
00:50:10,896 --> 00:50:15,458
And then, for whatever reason,
he decided he was into boats.
774
00:50:15,534 --> 00:50:17,263
You know, it's like someone said,
775
00:50:17,336 --> 00:50:20,703
"Hey, you, you're crazy.
Chill out and get a hobby."
776
00:50:21,807 --> 00:50:22,796
(SIGHS)
777
00:50:23,976 --> 00:50:25,671
- Susan.
- Yes?
778
00:50:28,714 --> 00:50:32,343
I'm still waiting for you to tell me
how you feel about your dad.
779
00:50:32,418 --> 00:50:33,476
Ah.
780
00:50:33,686 --> 00:50:35,153
You're tough.
781
00:50:39,158 --> 00:50:42,821
I guess what I'm trying to say is it just...
782
00:50:43,629 --> 00:50:49,124
It kind of sucks having one parent ditch
and then the other one lose their mind.
783
00:50:55,074 --> 00:51:00,410
I mean, how can I possibly hope
to turn out even remotely functional?
784
00:51:04,450 --> 00:51:05,542
Yeah.
785
00:51:10,756 --> 00:51:14,089
Well, I kind of do feel better.
786
00:51:16,696 --> 00:51:17,958
I'm glad.
787
00:51:19,465 --> 00:51:22,593
Well, thanks for listening, Charlie Bartlett.
788
00:51:22,668 --> 00:51:24,693
(CHUCKLES) No problem, Susan Gardner.
789
00:51:31,977 --> 00:51:34,445
(SIGHS)
790
00:51:40,853 --> 00:51:42,013
Susan?
791
00:52:05,711 --> 00:52:09,374
(MUSIC PLA YING ON BOOM BOX)
792
00:52:14,820 --> 00:52:15,878
Hey.
793
00:52:16,055 --> 00:52:17,386
Listen up.
794
00:52:18,390 --> 00:52:20,950
All right, due to the booming economy
of our fine school,
795
00:52:21,026 --> 00:52:26,089
Dr. Charlie Bartlett here invites you all
to a private party at the Drive-In Club,
796
00:52:26,165 --> 00:52:30,397
which will be the most raging party
in the history of Western Summit.
797
00:52:30,870 --> 00:52:33,703
MURPHY: Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
798
00:52:33,773 --> 00:52:35,468
ALL: Charlie! Charlie!
799
00:52:38,544 --> 00:52:40,136
(ALL CHEERING)
800
00:52:42,648 --> 00:52:45,947
(SINGING) Head filled up with fear
801
00:52:46,018 --> 00:52:49,545
It's obvious you love the skin you wear
802
00:52:49,622 --> 00:52:53,251
I need to lie down
Need some air
803
00:52:53,325 --> 00:52:56,954
Messing and mussing your tie-dyed hair
804
00:52:57,797 --> 00:53:02,791
You're making a big mistake, mister
805
00:53:04,637 --> 00:53:06,628
Dustin Lauderbach wants a minute
with you, dude.
806
00:53:06,705 --> 00:53:10,402
Come on, is this really necessary?
I was hoping to get a chance to enjoy this.
807
00:53:10,476 --> 00:53:12,137
No, man, he's captain of the football team.
808
00:53:12,211 --> 00:53:13,439
All right.
809
00:53:14,780 --> 00:53:18,944
Who's gonna fix that, that voodoo?
Who's gonna fix that, that voodoo?
810
00:53:22,188 --> 00:53:26,420
Who's gonna fix that, that voodoo?
Who's gonna fix that, that voodoo?
811
00:53:30,229 --> 00:53:33,926
All right, first of all, I'm sick of football.
812
00:53:34,834 --> 00:53:38,395
I mean, zero desire to do this in college.
813
00:53:40,773 --> 00:53:41,899
What do you want to do?
814
00:53:41,974 --> 00:53:43,601
Try not to laugh,
815
00:53:45,244 --> 00:53:48,236
but I was thinking of
going to Paris to study painting.
816
00:53:48,314 --> 00:53:51,374
That's cool.
Have you mentioned this to your dad?
817
00:53:52,651 --> 00:53:56,747
No way. Quitting football isn't gonna
go over very well,
818
00:53:56,822 --> 00:54:00,815
let alone hitting him up two seconds later
for money to spend a year in France.
819
00:54:00,893 --> 00:54:03,191
Well, what about your mom?
820
00:54:03,262 --> 00:54:06,629
She only hears half the stuff I say.
What is that? There's a word for it.
821
00:54:06,699 --> 00:54:08,030
Menopause.
822
00:54:09,869 --> 00:54:11,268
So, what should I do?
823
00:54:11,337 --> 00:54:17,298
Well, I think one of our duties as teenagers
is to occasionally piss off our parents.
824
00:54:18,077 --> 00:54:20,170
- So, go for it, okay?
- Yeah.
825
00:54:20,779 --> 00:54:21,973
Thanks.
826
00:54:26,118 --> 00:54:28,780
I think Dustin Lauderbach may be a...
827
00:54:29,855 --> 00:54:33,416
I think you're just jealous 'cause
you don't have any artistic ambitions.
828
00:54:33,492 --> 00:54:36,052
Fuck you, dude. In fifth grade,
829
00:54:36,128 --> 00:54:39,393
I played Linus in
You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown.
830
00:54:39,465 --> 00:54:40,557
And I was good.
831
00:54:40,633 --> 00:54:41,622
- Really?
- Yeah.
832
00:54:41,700 --> 00:54:43,600
Wow, I didn't know that.
833
00:54:43,669 --> 00:54:45,534
If I'm jealous, if,
834
00:54:45,604 --> 00:54:47,469
it's because only guys
like Dustin Lauderbach
835
00:54:47,539 --> 00:54:49,404
can get girls like Whitney Drummond.
836
00:54:49,475 --> 00:54:51,170
You wanna hook up
with Whitney Drummond?
837
00:54:51,243 --> 00:54:54,110
No. I want to do it right.
838
00:54:54,747 --> 00:54:58,205
That's the kind of girl
you go dinner and a movie with.
839
00:54:59,018 --> 00:55:00,645
I don't know,
you'd have to clean up quite a bit.
840
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:01,947
(SCOFFS)
841
00:55:02,021 --> 00:55:03,648
Not in this life.
842
00:55:05,658 --> 00:55:08,491
So, why did you stop
doing the school play?
843
00:55:09,194 --> 00:55:12,254
I kept getting my ass kicked
by people like me.
844
00:55:14,199 --> 00:55:16,963
Murph, we really have to have
conversations like this more often.
845
00:55:17,036 --> 00:55:18,435
Oh, bite me.
846
00:55:19,805 --> 00:55:22,330
Here you are. You're coming with me.
847
00:55:22,942 --> 00:55:25,308
I am, am I? Where are we going?
848
00:55:26,178 --> 00:55:30,478
Well, Dr. Bartlett, I think it's high time
you stepped into my office.
849
00:55:43,662 --> 00:55:46,495
Wow. Beats the hell out of my office.
850
00:55:59,845 --> 00:56:01,073
(SIGHS)
851
00:56:18,397 --> 00:56:19,864
So, what now?
852
00:56:20,733 --> 00:56:24,169
Now I'm going to ask you
a series of questions,
853
00:56:24,236 --> 00:56:27,433
and if you answer honestly,
you shall be rewarded.
854
00:56:28,707 --> 00:56:30,072
All right.
855
00:56:30,142 --> 00:56:33,077
All right. Question number one.
856
00:56:33,812 --> 00:56:36,781
And this one is a little selfish on my part.
857
00:56:37,116 --> 00:56:38,606
- Okay.
- Okay.
858
00:56:40,652 --> 00:56:43,849
Is your interest in me
any way related to the fact
859
00:56:43,922 --> 00:56:46,117
that my dad is the principal?
860
00:56:46,425 --> 00:56:48,290
What? Why would it be?
861
00:56:49,161 --> 00:56:53,325
Because I know you get a kick out of
doing things that might get you in trouble.
862
00:56:53,399 --> 00:56:56,027
Well, I'm not gonna deny that, but no.
863
00:56:56,902 --> 00:57:00,895
I pretty much liked you
from the first moment that I saw you.
864
00:57:00,973 --> 00:57:04,033
And I had no idea who your father was.
865
00:57:16,021 --> 00:57:17,818
Was that my reward?
866
00:57:17,890 --> 00:57:19,152
Mmm-hmm.
867
00:57:21,260 --> 00:57:24,195
I think I'm ready
for the next question then.
868
00:57:27,166 --> 00:57:29,566
What's the deal with your father?
869
00:57:31,503 --> 00:57:33,562
Does that really have to be
the next question?
870
00:57:33,639 --> 00:57:37,040
Yes. The harder the question,
the greater the reward.
871
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:42,804
He's in prison.
872
00:57:47,886 --> 00:57:51,822
My mom went into
a pretty bad depression
873
00:57:51,890 --> 00:57:53,687
when he got arrested.
874
00:57:55,494 --> 00:58:00,522
So, when he was out on bail,
he took me out for ice cream
875
00:58:01,934 --> 00:58:04,732
and he told me I had to take care of her.
876
00:58:06,105 --> 00:58:09,131
So, I promised him I would.
877
00:58:11,076 --> 00:58:15,809
And I've been taking care of her ever since.
878
00:58:19,184 --> 00:58:21,209
So, who takes care of you?
879
00:58:39,705 --> 00:58:40,933
Susan?
880
00:58:44,376 --> 00:58:46,503
I've never done this before.
881
00:58:48,247 --> 00:58:50,477
I know that, Charlie Bartlett.
882
00:58:51,183 --> 00:58:56,815
...I can enjoy this girl-like boy
883
00:58:58,524 --> 00:59:02,620
(SINGING) I'll paint the room white
884
00:59:02,694 --> 00:59:07,859
Just give me something to destroy
885
00:59:09,635 --> 00:59:13,696
You got your green light
886
00:59:13,772 --> 00:59:20,075
For us, it's time
887
00:59:20,145 --> 00:59:23,012
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
888
00:59:31,723 --> 00:59:32,985
(COUGHS)
889
00:59:33,759 --> 00:59:36,284
That's really bad for you, you know?
890
00:59:43,268 --> 00:59:47,102
- Hey. What are you doing?
- I'll be right back.
891
00:59:50,475 --> 00:59:52,602
Oh, my God! Charlie, get in here!
892
00:59:53,045 --> 00:59:56,344
Ladies and gentlemen,
how are you all doing tonight?
893
00:59:56,415 --> 00:59:58,542
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
894
00:59:58,617 --> 01:00:03,816
My name is Charlie Bartlett
and I am no longer a virgin!
895
01:00:03,922 --> 01:00:06,891
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
896
01:00:06,959 --> 01:00:08,426
Thank you!
897
01:00:08,493 --> 01:00:10,984
For crying out loud.
898
01:00:11,663 --> 01:00:12,925
(SIGHS)
899
01:00:14,666 --> 01:00:17,658
KIP: I can't think of any reason
to stay on this planet.
900
01:00:17,736 --> 01:00:20,068
No one at school even knows my name.
901
01:00:20,138 --> 01:00:23,437
The idea of even making contact
with another human being
902
01:00:23,508 --> 01:00:25,806
is like trying to defy gravity.
903
01:00:26,178 --> 01:00:28,806
There's just no point in being alive.
904
01:01:28,206 --> 01:01:31,369
Charlie, listen to
what Mr. Gardner has to say.
905
01:01:38,283 --> 01:01:42,083
Kip Cromwell overdosed
on a handful of sedatives last night.
906
01:01:48,794 --> 01:01:50,159
Is he okay?
907
01:01:51,096 --> 01:01:53,690
He's okay, yeah.
He's gonna be fine. He's home.
908
01:01:53,765 --> 01:01:54,925
And you might want to thank him later
909
01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,560
for not telling his parents
where he got the drugs.
910
01:01:57,636 --> 01:02:01,697
If anyone could prove it was you,
this would be a different story.
911
01:02:02,841 --> 01:02:05,833
Charlie, how could you do
something like this?
912
01:02:10,749 --> 01:02:12,376
What happens now?
913
01:02:12,718 --> 01:02:14,117
You tell me.
914
01:02:18,123 --> 01:02:21,991
If you can explain what you're doing,
or better yet, why you're doing it,
915
01:02:22,060 --> 01:02:24,153
that would be a good start.
916
01:02:24,896 --> 01:02:29,060
Look, I'm helping these kids, okay?
Nobody else is listening to them.
917
01:02:29,134 --> 01:02:31,125
I encourage you to listen all you like,
but let's face it,
918
01:02:31,203 --> 01:02:33,137
- you're not a professional.
- No.
919
01:02:33,205 --> 01:02:35,196
And these medications
have a legitimate use.
920
01:02:35,273 --> 01:02:37,833
They've helped a lot of people.
It's a generational thing.
921
01:02:37,909 --> 01:02:40,810
You know, teenagers always find a way
to abuse something.
922
01:02:40,879 --> 01:02:42,278
And why not, right?
923
01:02:42,347 --> 01:02:44,815
Being zonked out of your mind
is a lot more fun
924
01:02:44,883 --> 01:02:47,215
than dealing with your problems.
925
01:02:48,220 --> 01:02:52,281
Excuse me for asking,
but are you speaking from experience or...
926
01:02:52,357 --> 01:02:54,917
You know,
that's not an appropriate question.
927
01:02:54,993 --> 01:02:57,518
- That's okay.
- Okay.
928
01:02:59,164 --> 01:03:01,962
Yeah, I sought treatment for some issues.
929
01:03:02,734 --> 01:03:04,964
You're not doing that anymore?
930
01:03:05,070 --> 01:03:08,870
Got to the point where I felt
I was ready to stop, so I did.
931
01:03:09,307 --> 01:03:13,300
- How's that going for you?
- Some days are better than others.
932
01:03:13,378 --> 01:03:15,039
Do you want to talk about it sometime?
933
01:03:15,113 --> 01:03:18,173
No, I would not
like to talk about it sometime.
934
01:03:19,117 --> 01:03:20,744
Charlie, come on.
935
01:03:22,754 --> 01:03:24,881
What are you doing this for?
936
01:03:31,062 --> 01:03:32,529
I don't know.
937
01:03:33,165 --> 01:03:34,496
I guess...
938
01:03:36,701 --> 01:03:38,566
I'm really happy here.
939
01:03:40,839 --> 01:03:43,535
For the first time, everybody likes me.
940
01:03:44,409 --> 01:03:46,036
There are more important things.
941
01:03:46,111 --> 01:03:49,979
Look, I know. Everybody keeps
saying that, but the thing is, is I'm 17,
942
01:03:50,048 --> 01:03:52,608
and popularity is pretty damn
important to me.
943
01:03:52,684 --> 01:03:55,380
Charlie, there are more important things.
944
01:03:55,454 --> 01:03:56,785
Like what?
945
01:03:58,056 --> 01:04:00,684
Like what you do with that popularity.
946
01:04:12,971 --> 01:04:17,135
Look, I've been around a while,
you know, long enough to say this.
947
01:04:18,777 --> 01:04:21,177
What you do in this life matters.
948
01:04:32,958 --> 01:04:35,859
(DRAGNET THEME PLA YING ON TV)
949
01:04:35,927 --> 01:04:37,189
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
950
01:04:37,662 --> 01:04:38,924
Hey, Kip.
951
01:04:39,998 --> 01:04:41,431
Hey, Charlie.
952
01:04:41,500 --> 01:04:43,263
How are you feeling?
953
01:04:43,969 --> 01:04:47,632
Fine, I guess.
They had to pump my stomach.
954
01:04:47,806 --> 01:04:48,864
(GROANS IN SYMPATHY)
955
01:04:48,940 --> 01:04:52,706
- How was that?
- Pretty disgusting.
956
01:04:53,712 --> 01:04:57,079
But now I get to just
play video games all day, so...
957
01:04:58,083 --> 01:04:59,209
Cool.
958
01:05:01,386 --> 01:05:04,822
So, are you still,
like, a suicidal maniac or...
959
01:05:06,892 --> 01:05:10,157
Well, it's not like all my problems
just went away.
960
01:05:10,996 --> 01:05:13,055
Yeah, I guess that makes sense.
961
01:05:13,131 --> 01:05:16,225
Look, Charlie, it's cool
that you came by and everything,
962
01:05:16,301 --> 01:05:18,269
but there's really nothing that you can say
963
01:05:18,336 --> 01:05:20,668
that's going to make me
feel any better, so...
964
01:05:20,739 --> 01:05:22,366
Nothing? Why not?
965
01:05:22,974 --> 01:05:24,805
No one knows I exist.
966
01:05:26,077 --> 01:05:29,103
The last time a girl spoke to me
was in the third grade.
967
01:05:29,180 --> 01:05:31,671
I have no friends and I'm an idiot.
968
01:05:33,151 --> 01:05:35,278
You at least have friends.
969
01:05:35,353 --> 01:05:38,186
How would you possibly know
what it's like?
970
01:05:39,457 --> 01:05:43,689
- I just think you're missing the big picture.
- What big picture?
971
01:05:43,762 --> 01:05:46,993
- The universe.
- What about the universe?
972
01:05:47,065 --> 01:05:48,225
(CHUCKLES)
973
01:05:48,300 --> 01:05:51,428
Well, the universe is a pretty big place.
974
01:05:51,503 --> 01:05:53,733
Yeah. It's infinite, theoretically.
975
01:05:53,805 --> 01:05:57,468
Right. Which means there's probably
life on other planets.
976
01:05:58,543 --> 01:06:02,001
Not life like we think, but, yeah,
probably at least single-cell organisms.
977
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:03,570
Well, see, that's my whole point.
978
01:06:03,648 --> 01:06:06,344
I mean, you could've been born
a single-cell organism
979
01:06:06,418 --> 01:06:08,010
on the planet Zortex.
980
01:06:08,086 --> 01:06:10,714
In fact, given the odds,
it's probably more likely.
981
01:06:10,789 --> 01:06:13,690
But you weren't.
You were born a human being.
982
01:06:13,758 --> 01:06:16,750
And not just any human being
in the history of human beings,
983
01:06:16,828 --> 01:06:18,989
but a human being
that gets to be alive today,
984
01:06:19,064 --> 01:06:23,398
that gets to listen to all kinds of music,
that gets to eat food from every culture,
985
01:06:23,468 --> 01:06:26,369
that gets to download porn
off the internet.
986
01:06:28,940 --> 01:06:31,841
So, really, you have everything to live for.
987
01:06:36,348 --> 01:06:37,940
You feel better?
988
01:06:40,585 --> 01:06:41,950
Not really.
989
01:06:44,789 --> 01:06:46,723
Well, at least I tried.
990
01:06:52,530 --> 01:06:57,160
- Hey, do you want to play some Killzone?
- Yeah.
991
01:06:59,070 --> 01:07:00,094
(CHUCKLING SMUGLY)
992
01:07:00,171 --> 01:07:01,365
Dude!
993
01:07:01,573 --> 01:07:06,033
- So, you're not selling drugs anymore?
- No, no. I'm searching for new enterprises.
994
01:07:06,111 --> 01:07:08,944
- Like what?
- I don't know. You got any ideas?
995
01:07:09,014 --> 01:07:12,279
You're talking to someone
who can never get anything done.
996
01:07:12,350 --> 01:07:16,582
I've been trying to write a play, but,
you know, no one wants to read any of it.
997
01:07:16,655 --> 01:07:18,145
Well, is it any good?
998
01:07:18,223 --> 01:07:21,317
I don't know.
You can read it if you want to.
999
01:07:22,027 --> 01:07:23,119
Sure.
1000
01:07:26,031 --> 01:07:27,123
Nope.
1001
01:07:29,100 --> 01:07:31,728
Sorry, guys, there's just no way.
1002
01:07:31,803 --> 01:07:35,569
- You didn't even read it.
- I read enough to know that it's a bad idea.
1003
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:36,664
Why?
1004
01:07:36,741 --> 01:07:38,572
By virtue of the fact that it's inappropriate.
1005
01:07:38,643 --> 01:07:40,668
I'm not jazzed about
taking the heat for you two
1006
01:07:40,745 --> 01:07:42,679
having those kids doing
whatever they're doing in there.
1007
01:07:42,747 --> 01:07:46,877
But it's true. It has truth.
It's about us and the way we see things.
1008
01:07:46,951 --> 01:07:50,887
Mr. Cromwell’s right.
We want to see something like this here.
1009
01:07:51,489 --> 01:07:54,754
Look, it may not be perfect,
but Charlie's gonna help me with it.
1010
01:07:54,826 --> 01:07:57,556
Great. That really puts my mind at ease.
1011
01:07:58,630 --> 01:08:01,121
Look, I'm really trying
to do the right thing, okay?
1012
01:08:01,199 --> 01:08:03,099
I thought that's what
you wanted me to do.
1013
01:08:03,168 --> 01:08:06,137
Yeah, I do,
but does it have to be this play?
1014
01:08:09,708 --> 01:08:12,074
If it helps your decision,
1015
01:08:12,143 --> 01:08:16,045
I'd be considerably less likely
to end my life if you said yes.
1016
01:08:24,789 --> 01:08:27,519
You've got to get it through Drama Club.
1017
01:08:29,227 --> 01:08:31,457
- Thank you, Mr. Gardner.
- Yeah.
1018
01:08:31,529 --> 01:08:33,554
You won't be disappointed.
1019
01:08:34,132 --> 01:08:36,157
Don't make me regret this.
1020
01:08:36,634 --> 01:08:38,795
So, what do we do now?
1021
01:08:38,870 --> 01:08:42,670
Well, don't worry about the Drama Club.
I'll work it out.
1022
01:08:43,108 --> 01:08:45,941
I kind of just don't know
what to say, Charlie.
1023
01:08:46,010 --> 01:08:47,534
No worries.
1024
01:08:48,747 --> 01:08:50,112
Don't fucking argue with me.
1025
01:08:50,181 --> 01:08:51,671
Listen, I just wanna remind you
how much this is worth!
1026
01:08:51,750 --> 01:08:53,149
- I know.
- Let me keep the Xanax.
1027
01:08:53,218 --> 01:08:55,812
- No. No Xanax. Everything.
- Charlie...
1028
01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,221
You're a dick.
1029
01:09:09,067 --> 01:09:10,534
No! No! No!
1030
01:09:10,602 --> 01:09:13,867
- Murph, give it to me.
- No! No! No, Charlie! No! No!
1031
01:09:20,011 --> 01:09:21,308
Excuse me, everyone.
1032
01:09:21,379 --> 01:09:24,041
May I have your attention?
I have an announcement to make.
1033
01:09:26,584 --> 01:09:29,883
Due to complications
with the insurance companies,
1034
01:09:31,856 --> 01:09:34,086
I will no longer be providing medication.
1035
01:09:34,159 --> 01:09:35,626
(STUDENTS GROANING)
1036
01:09:35,693 --> 01:09:40,687
I'm sure this will mean that a lot of you
are done speaking to me and that's fine.
1037
01:09:40,765 --> 01:09:44,394
However, for those of you
that are still interested,
1038
01:09:44,469 --> 01:09:48,496
I will be holding sessions in my office
free of charge.
1039
01:09:49,641 --> 01:09:50,972
Thank you.
1040
01:10:00,919 --> 01:10:03,911
I'm one of those people
not speaking to you.
1041
01:10:12,330 --> 01:10:15,060
Well, let's get started, shall we?
1042
01:10:23,208 --> 01:10:26,439
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey, Whitney. What's going on?
1043
01:10:28,179 --> 01:10:29,737
I don't know.
1044
01:10:29,814 --> 01:10:32,908
Well, I think you have
something to tell me,
1045
01:10:32,984 --> 01:10:35,612
but you're worried what I might think.
1046
01:10:36,688 --> 01:10:37,916
I guess.
1047
01:10:39,624 --> 01:10:42,718
I really think that
there's something wrong with me.
1048
01:10:42,794 --> 01:10:44,193
Why is that?
1049
01:10:44,762 --> 01:10:46,992
Well, I've been crying a lot.
1050
01:10:47,532 --> 01:10:49,056
Like, at cheer.
1051
01:10:51,903 --> 01:10:55,339
I've slept with almost every guy
on the football team.
1052
01:10:57,575 --> 01:10:58,974
All of them?
1053
01:11:00,578 --> 01:11:02,375
Well, maybe not all.
1054
01:11:03,314 --> 01:11:05,544
But all the backfield, anyway.
1055
01:11:06,517 --> 01:11:09,850
Well, do you like any of these guys?
1056
01:11:11,122 --> 01:11:12,453
Not really.
1057
01:11:13,091 --> 01:11:16,788
I mean, I know they don't want to be
my boyfriend or anything lame like that.
1058
01:11:16,861 --> 01:11:20,558
But they try to sleep with me,
and I don't want to say no to them.
1059
01:11:20,632 --> 01:11:25,569
Well, look, I don't know, maybe you should
take it slower, you know?
1060
01:11:25,637 --> 01:11:27,400
Enjoy yourself.
1061
01:11:27,472 --> 01:11:30,805
I mean, there are plenty of guys
at this school
1062
01:11:30,875 --> 01:11:34,333
that would do anything to take you
to dinner and a movie.
1063
01:11:34,412 --> 01:11:36,437
Give me a break. Like who?
1064
01:11:36,781 --> 01:11:38,078
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1065
01:11:40,418 --> 01:11:42,648
- Hey, Whitney.
- Hi, Murphy.
1066
01:11:43,087 --> 01:11:45,555
Wow, you actually brought flowers.
1067
01:11:45,623 --> 01:11:47,614
They're pretty lame, huh?
1068
01:11:51,062 --> 01:11:54,498
- I've never been on a real date before.
- That's okay, Murphy.
1069
01:11:54,565 --> 01:11:57,500
I've never been on a real date
before either.
1070
01:12:07,912 --> 01:12:12,315
- By the way, I like your shirt.
- Oh, thanks.
1071
01:12:13,151 --> 01:12:15,381
Okay. Thanks, Charlie.
1072
01:12:16,587 --> 01:12:19,420
- Hey.
- Hey, Henry. How's it going, man?
1073
01:12:19,490 --> 01:12:22,618
The board completely ignored the petition
to get the cameras out of the lounge,
1074
01:12:22,694 --> 01:12:24,423
so they've basically blown us off.
1075
01:12:24,495 --> 01:12:25,928
Next thing you know,
they'll put in metal detectors
1076
01:12:25,997 --> 01:12:28,158
and start doing random locker searches.
1077
01:12:28,232 --> 01:12:30,223
We have to do something.
We need you, man.
1078
01:12:30,301 --> 01:12:33,862
I don't know, Henry.
I am already on thin ice with Gardner.
1079
01:12:33,938 --> 01:12:37,339
If I lead a protest,
I think he'll have me assassinated.
1080
01:12:37,408 --> 01:12:39,205
We need to do something.
1081
01:12:39,277 --> 01:12:40,938
All right, look,
if you want to lead a protest,
1082
01:12:41,012 --> 01:12:43,776
it's not like I'm gonna stop you, but...
1083
01:12:43,848 --> 01:12:45,440
Thanks, Charlie.
1084
01:12:47,685 --> 01:12:52,019
(TAPPING)
1085
01:12:54,492 --> 01:12:57,393
This is a school, not a prison.
1086
01:12:58,529 --> 01:13:01,327
Thanks, because I couldn't read the sign.
1087
01:13:01,399 --> 01:13:03,731
This is a school, not a prison.
1088
01:13:04,802 --> 01:13:07,327
This is a school, it's not a prison.
1089
01:13:08,206 --> 01:13:10,504
This is a school, not a prison.
1090
01:13:10,875 --> 01:13:13,275
This is a school, it's not a prison.
1091
01:13:19,417 --> 01:13:20,884
(TEACHER CHATTERING)
1092
01:13:28,226 --> 01:13:31,286
SEDGWICK: Cameras, protests,
insubordinate kids.
1093
01:13:31,362 --> 01:13:34,354
Would any of this have happened
without Charlie Bartlett?
1094
01:13:34,432 --> 01:13:36,627
He's all I hear about these days.
1095
01:13:36,701 --> 01:13:38,635
"Charlie Bartlett told my son this.
1096
01:13:38,703 --> 01:13:41,467
"Charlie Bartlett told my daughter
to do that."
1097
01:13:41,539 --> 01:13:45,236
Our lives would be a whole lot easier
if we just expelled him.
1098
01:13:46,310 --> 01:13:49,040
You really think that's what he deserves?
1099
01:13:49,113 --> 01:13:52,378
Do yourself a favor.
Don't get fired over this kid.
1100
01:13:57,722 --> 01:13:58,848
Look at this.
1101
01:13:58,923 --> 01:14:01,653
Look, I don't think there should
be cameras in the lounge, but...
1102
01:14:01,726 --> 01:14:03,159
(STUDENTS CLAMORING)
1103
01:14:03,227 --> 01:14:04,888
I don't even know what to say.
1104
01:14:04,962 --> 01:14:07,453
I kind of see where
your dad's coming from, too.
1105
01:14:07,532 --> 01:14:09,796
Since when do you care what he thinks?
1106
01:14:09,867 --> 01:14:13,530
I don't know.
He's given me a break a couple of times.
1107
01:14:13,604 --> 01:14:14,696
Yeah.
1108
01:14:16,541 --> 01:14:17,803
(FEEDBACKSCREECHING)
1109
01:14:18,042 --> 01:14:22,138
Attention, all dissenting students
of Western Summit High School.
1110
01:14:22,213 --> 01:14:24,579
You have two minutes to disperse.
1111
01:14:24,649 --> 01:14:26,640
lf you have not at that time,
you will be suspended.
1112
01:14:26,717 --> 01:14:30,153
No! See, we have a right to be here.
They can't kick us all out.
1113
01:14:30,221 --> 01:14:33,054
There has to be a better way
to handle this.
1114
01:14:33,124 --> 01:14:36,059
- Okay. Can you help me out?
- What are you gonna do?
1115
01:14:36,127 --> 01:14:39,893
Could you go over there and tell them
to break it up and come back tonight?
1116
01:14:39,964 --> 01:14:41,056
Okay.
1117
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:45,535
STUDENTS: This is a school, not a prison!
This is a school, not a prison!
1118
01:14:45,603 --> 01:14:49,095
Hey, guys, Charlie wanted me to ask...
1119
01:14:54,412 --> 01:14:58,178
Charlie wants us to go home
and come back tonight, all right?
1120
01:15:52,837 --> 01:15:53,997
Susan!
1121
01:15:57,608 --> 01:15:59,041
- What did he just give you?
- What?
1122
01:15:59,110 --> 01:16:02,045
- That's just...
- Shut it! I'm talking to my daughter.
1123
01:16:02,113 --> 01:16:04,809
- What is in that pharmacy bag?
- None of your business.
1124
01:16:04,882 --> 01:16:07,476
- Susan...
- I don't need any assistance from you
1125
01:16:07,552 --> 01:16:09,543
handling my daughter.
Do you understand?
1126
01:16:09,620 --> 01:16:12,851
Try saying one more word
and see what happens.
1127
01:16:12,924 --> 01:16:14,949
Come on, you really think
I don't know what's in the bag?
1128
01:16:15,026 --> 01:16:17,927
Yeah. I really don't think
you know what's in the bag.
1129
01:16:17,995 --> 01:16:19,929
Where are you going?
You're not going anywhere.
1130
01:16:19,997 --> 01:16:21,055
Whatever.
1131
01:16:21,132 --> 01:16:24,761
Susan Gardner, get your ass
back in the house on the count of three,
1132
01:16:24,835 --> 01:16:26,564
or you're grounded.
1133
01:16:27,104 --> 01:16:29,595
What makes you think
you're still in control of what I do?
1134
01:16:29,674 --> 01:16:34,373
I don't think. I know. It's a fact.
What are you looking at? One!
1135
01:16:34,445 --> 01:16:37,471
I would not make me choose
between you and Charlie if I were you.
1136
01:16:37,548 --> 01:16:40,574
You don't have to choose.
Drug dealer! Dad!
1137
01:16:40,651 --> 01:16:44,519
I'm your father.
This is a boy who goes to my school. Two!
1138
01:16:44,589 --> 01:16:47,786
Charlie Bartlett has done more
for your school than you ever will.
1139
01:16:47,858 --> 01:16:48,916
Three!
1140
01:16:48,993 --> 01:16:50,790
Hey! Don't touch her!
1141
01:16:53,164 --> 01:16:55,428
Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
1142
01:16:55,499 --> 01:16:59,196
Well, you did it. It's done.
1143
01:17:00,838 --> 01:17:02,965
Whatever. Let's go. Come on.
1144
01:17:30,534 --> 01:17:32,661
I'm really sorry I did that.
1145
01:17:34,872 --> 01:17:36,635
It's not your fault.
1146
01:17:38,109 --> 01:17:40,634
So, Charlie Bartlett assaulted you.
1147
01:17:41,212 --> 01:17:45,080
Well, now it's up to you.
Do you want to press charges or not?
1148
01:17:49,620 --> 01:17:51,679
HENRY ON MEGAPHONE: Now, we're
gonna get these cameras out of the lounge.
1149
01:17:51,756 --> 01:17:54,088
We're gonna figure it out tonight.
1150
01:17:54,158 --> 01:17:56,718
Hey, look who it is, everybody.
1151
01:17:56,794 --> 01:18:00,890
- CROWD: Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
- Charlie! Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
1152
01:18:06,337 --> 01:18:08,362
(ALL CHEERING)
1153
01:18:10,541 --> 01:18:12,532
How you all doing tonight?
1154
01:18:12,610 --> 01:18:14,407
(CHEERING)
1155
01:18:14,512 --> 01:18:16,912
My name is Charlie Bartlett.
1156
01:18:21,319 --> 01:18:25,312
lf there's one thing I want you guys
to walk away with tonight,
1157
01:18:34,332 --> 01:18:36,823
it's that you guys don't need me.
1158
01:18:38,169 --> 01:18:39,796
I really mean it.
1159
01:18:40,137 --> 01:18:43,265
You think I'm any less screwed up
than you are?
1160
01:18:43,341 --> 01:18:47,300
I get up every morning
and I look in the mirror
1161
01:18:48,479 --> 01:18:50,447
and I try and figure out
1162
01:18:52,416 --> 01:18:54,179
just where I fit in.
1163
01:18:55,986 --> 01:19:00,480
And I draw a complete blank.
1164
01:19:02,827 --> 01:19:06,263
And you guys are looking to me
to tell you what to do?
1165
01:19:06,997 --> 01:19:10,228
You need to stop listening to me.
1166
01:19:10,601 --> 01:19:12,091
(SIRENS WAILING)
1167
01:19:13,104 --> 01:19:17,404
And stop listening to people telling you
who you should be.
1168
01:19:17,475 --> 01:19:19,568
And stop listening to the people
that are telling you
1169
01:19:19,643 --> 01:19:21,804
you're not good enough
to do the things that you want to do!
1170
01:19:21,879 --> 01:19:22,903
(STUDENTS CHEERING)
1171
01:19:22,980 --> 01:19:24,311
You guys have all the answers.
1172
01:19:24,382 --> 01:19:25,747
You're under arrest for assault.
1173
01:19:25,816 --> 01:19:28,080
(STUDENTS BOOING)
1174
01:19:33,023 --> 01:19:34,490
Charlie!
1175
01:19:52,877 --> 01:19:55,778
STUDENTS CHANTING:
Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
1176
01:19:55,846 --> 01:19:58,747
- Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
- Charlie! Charlie! Charlie!
1177
01:19:58,816 --> 01:20:02,081
Okay, party's over.
I want you all out of here now!
1178
01:20:03,421 --> 01:20:05,480
Have I made myself abundantly clear?
1179
01:20:05,556 --> 01:20:07,148
We want to know
what the hell's gonna happen to Charlie.
1180
01:20:07,224 --> 01:20:08,213
- Yeah!
- ALL: Yeah!
1181
01:20:08,292 --> 01:20:09,884
I'd be more worried about yourselves.
1182
01:20:09,960 --> 01:20:13,157
Thanks to him,
the Class of '83 Student Lounge
1183
01:20:13,230 --> 01:20:15,824
is now The Charlie Bartlett
Detention Center.
1184
01:20:15,900 --> 01:20:18,164
Bullshit! Come on!
1185
01:20:18,669 --> 01:20:20,296
Get the cameras!
1186
01:20:22,339 --> 01:20:27,606
Well, every time I feel you're
coming round, you're going down
1187
01:20:27,745 --> 01:20:32,682
You hit the ground with every force
It makes no sense or sound
1188
01:20:32,950 --> 01:20:34,247
Emergency, Western Summit High School.
1189
01:20:34,685 --> 01:20:36,550
(STUDENTS WHOOPING)
1190
01:20:37,254 --> 01:20:41,691
God bless your soul, girl
Now you got the whole world
1191
01:20:41,792 --> 01:20:44,022
It’s your eyes that make me smile
1192
01:20:44,161 --> 01:20:46,356
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
1193
01:20:48,132 --> 01:20:51,101
Well, I guess now is as good a time
as any to tell you.
1194
01:20:51,168 --> 01:20:52,692
You're fired.
1195
01:20:52,770 --> 01:20:53,896
(SIREN WAILING)
1196
01:20:53,971 --> 01:20:55,768
It’s your eyes that make me smile
1197
01:20:55,840 --> 01:20:57,307
Come on.
1198
01:20:58,142 --> 01:21:00,736
Wasting time hanging out
1199
01:21:00,845 --> 01:21:02,938
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
1200
01:21:17,127 --> 01:21:20,324
Come on, Charlie.
Your mom's here to bail you out.
1201
01:21:21,398 --> 01:21:22,956
What's gonna happen to the other kids?
1202
01:21:23,033 --> 01:21:25,228
Well, there's gonna be an investigation.
1203
01:21:25,302 --> 01:21:26,769
But since all the cameras were destroyed,
1204
01:21:26,837 --> 01:21:30,568
they're gonna have a hard time
figuring out who did what.
1205
01:21:30,641 --> 01:21:33,701
Well, I'm prepared
to take full responsibility.
1206
01:21:34,445 --> 01:21:36,037
Charlie, go home.
1207
01:21:40,417 --> 01:21:43,978
- Are you mad?
- I don't know how to feel, Charlie.
1208
01:21:44,054 --> 01:21:47,251
Well, Mom, I think you should be mad
because I just got arrested
1209
01:21:47,324 --> 01:21:49,485
and a bunch of my friends
just trashed a building.
1210
01:21:49,560 --> 01:21:51,494
I am aware of that.
1211
01:21:51,562 --> 01:21:56,124
And I'm having a hard time being mad
at you when it just might be my fault.
1212
01:21:56,867 --> 01:21:59,461
No, Mom, it's not your fault.
Don't say that.
1213
01:21:59,537 --> 01:22:01,198
No, some of it is.
1214
01:22:02,239 --> 01:22:06,471
I treated you like an adult for so long,
you missed out on being a little boy.
1215
01:22:06,544 --> 01:22:08,842
And now we're paying for it.
1216
01:22:08,913 --> 01:22:10,938
With a vengeance, I'd say.
1217
01:22:11,382 --> 01:22:13,714
But you are just a kid, Charlie.
1218
01:22:14,552 --> 01:22:16,645
You understand that, right?
1219
01:22:18,756 --> 01:22:23,022
And that doesn't change just
because I don't know what to do with you.
1220
01:22:23,727 --> 01:22:24,887
Mom.
1221
01:22:25,629 --> 01:22:28,462
I wouldn't know
what to do with me, either.
1222
01:22:31,535 --> 01:22:34,299
Well, I think it's safe to say
that you're grounded.
1223
01:22:34,371 --> 01:22:36,236
Really? How long?
1224
01:22:36,840 --> 01:22:40,207
That's a good question.
What is the standard?
1225
01:22:40,277 --> 01:22:42,370
Usually, like, 24 hours.
1226
01:22:43,380 --> 01:22:47,646
Well, seeing as you've acquired
a misdemeanor, we'd better make it 30.
1227
01:22:48,452 --> 01:22:49,544
Okay.
1228
01:22:58,062 --> 01:22:59,962
- Get in the car.
- Okay.
1229
01:23:14,478 --> 01:23:19,848
(SUSAN HUMMING
YANKEE DOODLE DANDY)
1230
01:23:37,501 --> 01:23:40,334
(SIGHS)
1231
01:24:07,865 --> 01:24:09,560
- Hi.
- Hey!
1232
01:24:12,036 --> 01:24:13,526
How are you feeling?
1233
01:24:13,604 --> 01:24:16,596
A little nervous, I guess. But that's normal.
1234
01:24:17,207 --> 01:24:19,539
Yeah. How's your dad?
1235
01:24:20,778 --> 01:24:23,269
He's holed himself up in his study.
1236
01:24:23,981 --> 01:24:26,006
That's usually a bad sign.
1237
01:24:26,517 --> 01:24:28,212
You could've asked him to come,
you know.
1238
01:24:28,285 --> 01:24:30,082
Really? What am I going to say?
1239
01:24:30,154 --> 01:24:32,486
"Hey, Dad, you want to come
sit with a bunch of people
1240
01:24:32,556 --> 01:24:35,650
"that are really glad you were fired
and watch me on stage?"
1241
01:24:42,399 --> 01:24:43,889
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1242
01:24:47,604 --> 01:24:48,832
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
1243
01:24:53,043 --> 01:24:54,203
Hello?
1244
01:24:58,482 --> 01:24:59,779
Hello?
1245
01:25:01,018 --> 01:25:02,679
Principal Gardner?
1246
01:25:03,587 --> 01:25:06,522
Hello? Principal Gardner?
1247
01:25:08,358 --> 01:25:10,656
It's me, sir. Charlie Bartlett.
1248
01:25:12,529 --> 01:25:13,587
Hello?
1249
01:25:13,864 --> 01:25:15,354
(BOTTLE TOOTING)
1250
01:25:15,432 --> 01:25:16,660
Hello?
1251
01:25:17,735 --> 01:25:20,203
Oh, this better be good, Charles.
1252
01:25:22,072 --> 01:25:24,632
I came to invite you to the play.
1253
01:25:24,708 --> 01:25:28,872
Well, thank you for that,
but I am just a little tied up right now.
1254
01:25:29,413 --> 01:25:32,940
- What are you doing?
- Venting. Just venting a little bit.
1255
01:25:33,016 --> 01:25:35,382
Is that your new word of the day?
1256
01:25:35,452 --> 01:25:36,441
Sure as shit is.
1257
01:25:36,553 --> 01:25:37,611
(EXCLAIMS)
1258
01:25:37,688 --> 01:25:40,088
Word of the day, "venting."
1259
01:25:40,557 --> 01:25:45,551
Explanation. That's kind of how I deal
with my little life's frustrations. I vent.
1260
01:25:45,629 --> 01:25:49,793
As in "to vent," original derivation
from the Latin exventare
1261
01:25:49,867 --> 01:25:51,334
Jesus!
1262
01:25:51,835 --> 01:25:55,100
Everybody needs to vent a little
now and again, don't you figure?
1263
01:25:55,172 --> 01:25:58,141
Some of us are privileged enough
to vent to you in the boys' room stall,
1264
01:25:58,208 --> 01:26:00,870
and the rest of us just have to settle
for less conventional methods.
1265
01:26:00,944 --> 01:26:02,844
Like, I don't know,
a bottle of booze and a handgun.
1266
01:26:02,913 --> 01:26:03,902
(GUN FIRES)
1267
01:26:04,948 --> 01:26:08,816
I'm sorry. I'm not putting you on edge
with my behavior, am I?
1268
01:26:09,319 --> 01:26:11,048
That's all right.
1269
01:26:11,655 --> 01:26:13,247
Maybe you could put the gun down.
1270
01:26:13,323 --> 01:26:16,815
Park it, Chuck!
In case you're not aware of this,
1271
01:26:16,894 --> 01:26:19,522
I'm entirely displeased with you right now.
1272
01:26:19,596 --> 01:26:21,530
I was racking my brain to figure out why,
1273
01:26:21,598 --> 01:26:24,260
and I think it's because
you've taken everything from me.
1274
01:26:24,334 --> 01:26:26,097
Why did you do that?
1275
01:26:27,638 --> 01:26:30,402
Do you have anything enlightening
to say to me right now? 'Cause if you do,
1276
01:26:30,474 --> 01:26:33,238
I'd appreciate it if you'd spit it out.
1277
01:26:33,310 --> 01:26:34,504
I don't know.
1278
01:26:34,578 --> 01:26:37,809
Maybe some of
that post-pubescent psychobabble?
1279
01:26:38,782 --> 01:26:40,875
Maybe a pearl of wisdom?
1280
01:26:40,951 --> 01:26:43,215
I don't know what to say to you.
1281
01:26:43,287 --> 01:26:46,552
I mean, I don't know how to help you.
I really want to.
1282
01:26:46,623 --> 01:26:48,989
Come on, Doctor!
What have you got for me?
1283
01:26:49,059 --> 01:26:51,220
I don't know what you want from me.
1284
01:26:51,295 --> 01:26:55,629
I don't need you to say anything to me
and I don't need you to save me!
1285
01:26:56,667 --> 01:26:58,931
All right, then, what am I supposed to do
in this situation?
1286
01:26:59,002 --> 01:27:02,563
You know, I'm just a kid!
I'm just a stupid kid!
1287
01:27:03,774 --> 01:27:07,676
Stop the fucking presses.
Run that by me again. You're a what?
1288
01:27:07,744 --> 01:27:09,268
I'm just a kid.
1289
01:27:11,081 --> 01:27:12,343
I get it.
1290
01:27:13,183 --> 01:27:15,617
It's tough. I was a kid once, too.
1291
01:27:18,222 --> 01:27:19,484
Oh, fuck!
1292
01:27:28,565 --> 01:27:30,533
(MUTTERING INAUDIBLY)
1293
01:27:33,470 --> 01:27:34,528
- No!
- What are you...
1294
01:27:34,605 --> 01:27:35,594
(GRUNTS)
1295
01:27:54,458 --> 01:27:57,325
(COUGHING)
1296
01:27:57,427 --> 01:27:59,987
What the hell did you do that for?
1297
01:28:00,964 --> 01:28:02,989
You were going to kill yourself.
1298
01:28:03,066 --> 01:28:06,593
I can't kill myself.
I've got too many responsibilities.
1299
01:28:09,206 --> 01:28:10,468
You okay?
1300
01:28:11,975 --> 01:28:13,067
Yeah.
1301
01:28:15,245 --> 01:28:19,409
Never, never attack a drunk guy
with a gun. Do you understand?
1302
01:28:19,483 --> 01:28:20,950
- Yes, sir.
- Good.
1303
01:28:22,753 --> 01:28:25,745
Come on. Let's get cleaned up.
1304
01:28:27,491 --> 01:28:28,651
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1305
01:28:30,427 --> 01:28:32,918
Hey, Charlie. See if that fits.
1306
01:28:34,631 --> 01:28:36,394
- Thank you.
- Sure.
1307
01:28:38,568 --> 01:28:40,934
How's your head? You all right?
1308
01:28:41,738 --> 01:28:43,069
It's okay.
1309
01:28:44,174 --> 01:28:47,405
Well, we should go
'cause we're going to miss the play.
1310
01:28:47,477 --> 01:28:50,446
I doubt she's going to be happy to see me.
1311
01:28:50,514 --> 01:28:54,177
No, you're her father,
1312
01:28:54,251 --> 01:28:58,244
and she loves you very much,
and you're totally missing it.
1313
01:29:04,728 --> 01:29:06,127
Fair enough.
1314
01:29:08,498 --> 01:29:11,399
- What about you?
- What about me, what?
1315
01:29:12,135 --> 01:29:14,035
What about your father?
1316
01:29:14,805 --> 01:29:17,535
You know, when I checked up on you,
I was half-hoping to find something
1317
01:29:17,607 --> 01:29:20,804
to make me feel justified
in kicking your ass out.
1318
01:29:22,646 --> 01:29:24,944
Then I found out about him.
1319
01:29:29,019 --> 01:29:31,647
There are worse crimes than tax evasion.
1320
01:29:31,722 --> 01:29:34,885
Yeah, but it's not worth
losing your father over.
1321
01:29:35,926 --> 01:29:38,759
Okay, so, stay mad at him forever.
1322
01:29:39,730 --> 01:29:41,823
How's that working for you?
1323
01:29:43,300 --> 01:29:45,700
Some days are better than others.
1324
01:29:50,574 --> 01:29:54,908
LANCE: Come on, Monica. Just try it.
It'll give you such a high.
1325
01:29:54,978 --> 01:29:57,606
My God, you are, like,
totally peer-pressuring me.
1326
01:29:57,681 --> 01:29:59,512
I've never done it before.
1327
01:29:59,583 --> 01:30:02,416
Just do it. Trust me.
You know you want to.
1328
01:30:04,187 --> 01:30:07,520
I just don't know anymore.
She used to be my little girl.
1329
01:30:07,591 --> 01:30:10,389
I mean, what do you think
they're doing behind that door?
1330
01:30:10,460 --> 01:30:12,155
There's no way to know that.
1331
01:30:12,229 --> 01:30:16,893
And, besides, isn't it more interesting
to just trust them and see what happens?
1332
01:30:18,935 --> 01:30:22,302
I just don't understand why it's
so important to you that I do this.
1333
01:30:22,372 --> 01:30:24,966
'Cause it's fun and it'll feel good.
1334
01:30:26,810 --> 01:30:28,801
Okay, I'll give it a try.
1335
01:30:35,919 --> 01:30:41,016
(PLA YS ARPEGGIO ON GUITAR)
1336
01:30:41,091 --> 01:30:45,460
(SINGING) If you wanna sing out, sing out
1337
01:30:46,696 --> 01:30:51,190
lf you wanna be free, be free
1338
01:30:53,136 --> 01:30:57,402
There's a million things to be
1339
01:30:58,175 --> 01:31:02,043
You know that there are
1340
01:31:02,846 --> 01:31:07,749
lf you wanna live high, live high
1341
01:31:08,985 --> 01:31:13,684
lf you wanna live low, live low
1342
01:31:15,025 --> 01:31:19,587
There's a million ways to go
1343
01:31:20,030 --> 01:31:23,363
You know that there are
1344
01:31:26,336 --> 01:31:30,295
You can do what you want
1345
01:31:32,109 --> 01:31:35,738
The opportunity's on
1346
01:31:37,781 --> 01:31:42,275
And if you find a new way
1347
01:31:44,054 --> 01:31:48,252
You can do it today
1348
01:31:49,926 --> 01:31:53,418
You can make it all true
1349
01:31:55,665 --> 01:31:59,362
And you can make it undo
1350
01:31:59,436 --> 01:32:01,734
You see
1351
01:32:04,274 --> 01:32:10,076
You only need to know
1352
01:32:13,884 --> 01:32:18,218
lf you wanna say yes, say yes
1353
01:32:19,656 --> 01:32:24,093
lf you wanna say no, say no
1354
01:32:25,562 --> 01:32:29,999
There's a million ways to go
1355
01:32:30,534 --> 01:32:34,470
You know that there are
1356
01:32:35,705 --> 01:32:39,664
You know that there are
1357
01:32:42,512 --> 01:32:46,642
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1358
01:32:49,419 --> 01:32:52,217
I must say, of all the kids
applying for a summer internship,
1359
01:32:52,289 --> 01:32:54,951
you have quite a checkered history.
1360
01:32:55,025 --> 01:32:57,755
I understand. And I'm sure
you have a whole stack of people
1361
01:32:57,827 --> 01:33:02,161
with perfect backgrounds
and no disciplinary record.
1362
01:33:05,302 --> 01:33:08,396
Really, I'd do anything to work here.
1363
01:33:08,471 --> 01:33:13,101
Well, let's get on with the interview.
I've got a hell of a day ahead of me.
1364
01:33:13,743 --> 01:33:16,075
Would you like to talk about it?
1365
01:33:18,381 --> 01:33:21,282
Do you know what it's like
to fall on the floor?
1366
01:33:21,418 --> 01:33:24,080
And cry your guts out
till you got no more?
1367
01:33:24,287 --> 01:33:27,848
Hey, man
Now you're really living
1368
01:33:28,425 --> 01:33:31,155
Have you ever made love
to a beautiful girl?
1369
01:33:31,461 --> 01:33:34,123
Made you feel like
it's not such a bad world?
1370
01:33:34,331 --> 01:33:38,097
Hey, man
Now you're really living
1371
01:33:38,201 --> 01:33:41,034
Now you're really
giving it everything
1372
01:33:41,238 --> 01:33:43,968
And you're really
getting all you gave
1373
01:33:44,207 --> 01:33:48,337
Now you're really living
what this life is all about
1374
01:33:49,879 --> 01:33:52,814
Well, I just saw the sun
rise over the hill
1375
01:33:53,016 --> 01:33:55,541
Never used to give me
much of a thrill
1376
01:33:55,619 --> 01:33:59,612
But hey, man
Now I'm really living
1377
01:34:09,833 --> 01:34:12,802
Do you know what it's like
to care too much
1378
01:34:12,869 --> 01:34:15,531
'Bout someone that you're
never gonna get to touch?
1379
01:34:15,839 --> 01:34:19,673
Hey, man
Now you're really living
1380
01:34:19,743 --> 01:34:22,678
Have you ever sat down
in the fresh-cut grass
1381
01:34:22,746 --> 01:34:25,647
And thought about the moment
and when it will pass?
1382
01:34:25,782 --> 01:34:29,582
Hey, man
Now you're really living
1383
01:34:29,719 --> 01:34:32,313
Now you're really
giving it everything
1384
01:34:32,389 --> 01:34:34,880
And you're really
getting all you gave
1385
01:34:34,958 --> 01:34:39,292
Now you're really living
what this life is all about
1386
01:34:41,631 --> 01:34:44,122
Now, what would you say
if I told you that
1387
01:34:44,200 --> 01:34:47,101
Everyone thinks
you're a crazy old cat
1388
01:34:47,170 --> 01:34:51,004
Hey, man
Now you're really living
1389
01:34:51,341 --> 01:34:54,174
Do you know what it's like
to fall on the floor?
1390
01:34:54,311 --> 01:34:57,041
And cry your guts out
till you got no more?
1391
01:34:57,514 --> 01:35:01,006
Hey, man
Now you're really living
1392
01:35:01,217 --> 01:35:04,118
Have you ever made love
to a beautiful girl?
1393
01:35:04,254 --> 01:35:07,052
Made you feel like
it's not such a bad world?
1394
01:35:07,223 --> 01:35:10,715
Hey, man
Now you're really living
1395
01:35:10,794 --> 01:35:14,230
Do you know what it's like
to fall on the floor?
1396
01:35:14,297 --> 01:35:17,232
And cry your guts out
till you got no more?
1397
01:35:17,400 --> 01:35:21,131
Hey, man
Now you're really living
1398
01:35:21,438 --> 01:35:24,168
Just saw the sun rise over the hill
1399
01:35:24,240 --> 01:35:27,141
Never used to give me much of a thrill
1400
01:35:27,210 --> 01:35:31,613
But hey, man
Now I'm really living!