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00:00:33,648 --> 00:00:36,717
MAN: I'm going to
tell you a story now.
2
00:00:36,818 --> 00:00:39,220
But as any good
storyteller knows,
3
00:00:39,321 --> 00:00:42,957
one must first be sure
the audience is prepared.
4
00:00:43,058 --> 00:00:45,492
Is everybody
comfortably seated?
5
00:00:45,593 --> 00:00:47,895
Does anyone need
to use the bathroom?
6
00:00:47,996 --> 00:00:51,031
Oh. You, sir, in the back?
7
00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:53,000
Well, hold it in.
8
00:00:53,101 --> 00:00:55,369
(LAUGHS)
9
00:00:55,470 --> 00:00:58,272
You ready? Here we go.
10
00:01:00,976 --> 00:01:03,844
My name is Marty Bronson.
11
00:01:03,945 --> 00:01:07,547
I owned and operated
the Sunny Vista Motel,
12
00:01:07,648 --> 00:01:11,485
which I established on the corner
of Sunset and La Cienega Boulevards
13
00:01:11,586 --> 00:01:16,991
in Los Angeles, California,
in the year 1974.
14
00:01:17,092 --> 00:01:20,227
The motel was my labor of love,
15
00:01:20,328 --> 00:01:23,330
and I ran it with the help
of my children, Wendy...
16
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:28,602
MARTY: Wendy, the key, please,
for Mr. and Mrs. Dixon.
17
00:01:28,887 --> 00:01:29,887
Thank you.
18
00:01:29,988 --> 00:01:31,322
And Skeeter.
19
00:01:34,059 --> 00:01:37,060
May I help you with your bags,
Mr. and Mrs. Dixon?
20
00:01:37,062 --> 00:01:39,429
- Yes, please.
- Why, thank you, young man.
21
00:01:40,282 --> 00:01:43,667
(GRUNTING)
22
00:01:43,768 --> 00:01:45,069
You, uh, need a hand?
23
00:01:45,403 --> 00:01:47,254
No, no. I got it.
24
00:01:48,073 --> 00:01:49,590
MR. DIXON:
OK.
25
00:01:50,859 --> 00:01:54,878
To my boy Skeeter,
the motel was a wonderland.
26
00:01:54,979 --> 00:01:56,631
Way too hyper.
27
00:01:56,732 --> 00:01:59,232
The galaxy's not big enough
for the both of us.
28
00:01:59,334 --> 00:02:00,868
A magical place.
29
00:02:00,936 --> 00:02:03,871
(CHATTER, LAUGHTER)
30
00:02:03,972 --> 00:02:07,741
Full of new adventures
for a six-year-old boy.
31
00:02:09,027 --> 00:02:12,379
(LAUGHS)
Oh, Skeeter. Come here.
32
00:02:14,599 --> 00:02:18,368
Skeeter loved the old place
as much as I did.
33
00:02:18,469 --> 00:02:22,039
And he always tried to come up
with ways to make it even better.
34
00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:25,309
I've got a lot of ideas how
to improve things around here.
35
00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:29,263
I was thinking we could put an
extra pair of socks in each room
36
00:02:29,364 --> 00:02:33,501
because people always forget to pack
enough socks when they go on a trip.
37
00:02:34,002 --> 00:02:35,519
That's a good idea.
38
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:38,005
Time for bed,
I'm meeting with Mr. Nottingham.
39
00:02:38,106 --> 00:02:40,975
Wait, Dad.
I'm not even tired.
40
00:02:41,076 --> 00:02:44,177
Well, how about a bedtime story?
41
00:02:44,278 --> 00:02:46,046
Yay!
42
00:02:48,049 --> 00:02:53,070
Now, once upon a time,
there was a little boy,
43
00:02:53,171 --> 00:02:55,639
and that little boy's name
was Skeeter.
44
00:02:55,740 --> 00:03:00,777
Well, I could tell a pretty fair
tale when the muse was with me.
45
00:03:00,878 --> 00:03:03,113
And making my little boy smile,
46
00:03:03,214 --> 00:03:05,583
now, that was truly magical.
47
00:03:05,684 --> 00:03:10,387
Yeah, I was a pretty good dad
and a pretty good host.
48
00:03:10,488 --> 00:03:14,908
But unfortunately,
a pretty bad businessman.
49
00:03:15,009 --> 00:03:17,978
Can't you read the writing
on the wall, Bronson?
50
00:03:18,079 --> 00:03:20,447
This motel is sinking in red ink...
51
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:23,083
and I'm offering you
the last lifeboat.
52
00:03:23,184 --> 00:03:24,969
(SIGHS)
53
00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:26,137
I don't know.
54
00:03:26,238 --> 00:03:27,972
NOTTHINGHAM:
I've seen the books, Martin.
55
00:03:28,306 --> 00:03:32,092
If you don't sell to me,
you're going to go bankrupt.
56
00:03:32,193 --> 00:03:33,877
Yes, well, I...
57
00:03:33,978 --> 00:03:37,281
I'd always hoped this place
would be a home for my children.
58
00:03:37,382 --> 00:03:38,882
NOTTINGHAM:
How about this?
59
00:03:38,984 --> 00:03:42,453
If your boy works hard and shows
some smarts when he grows up,
60
00:03:42,554 --> 00:03:44,538
I'll let him run this place.
61
00:03:45,123 --> 00:03:47,041
(SIGHS)
You promise?
62
00:03:47,142 --> 00:03:50,627
Yes. Now sign
the bloody papers.
63
00:03:57,018 --> 00:03:58,869
That's my boy, Bronson.
64
00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:03,741
Trust me, I'm going to turn this place
into the finest hotel in Los Angeles.
65
00:04:03,842 --> 00:04:07,678
It's going to be uptight
and out of sight.
66
00:04:07,779 --> 00:04:12,550
And just like that, our modest
little Sunny Vista Motel...
67
00:04:12,651 --> 00:04:17,488
metamorphosized into the
mighty Sunny Vista Nottingham.
68
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:19,906
And for the past 25 years,
69
00:04:20,007 --> 00:04:23,444
it has been lovingly maintained
by my now grown-up son,
70
00:04:23,545 --> 00:04:26,113
Skeeter Bronson, the handyman.
71
00:04:26,214 --> 00:04:29,316
Yes, though Mr. Nottingham's promise
for Skeeter to run the place
72
00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:32,035
- seems to have been forgotten...
- Hiya, Pop.
73
00:04:32,136 --> 00:04:35,839
My boy always works
diligently with a hopeful heart,
74
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:37,824
still waiting for his shot.
75
00:04:37,925 --> 00:04:40,644
Mrs. Dixon?
Is there a problem with her room?
76
00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:43,731
Nothing you should bother
your tiny mind about.
77
00:04:43,832 --> 00:04:47,284
Mrs. Dixon has been taking the nip
bottles of liquor out of her mini-bar,
78
00:04:47,386 --> 00:04:48,886
and doesn't want to pay for it.
79
00:04:48,987 --> 00:04:51,805
I never even touched
that evil little refrigerator.
80
00:04:51,906 --> 00:04:53,607
I don't drink alcohol.
81
00:04:53,708 --> 00:04:55,592
Of course.
There's probably a mix-up.
82
00:04:55,693 --> 00:04:58,145
- I saw who took it.
- OK.
83
00:04:58,246 --> 00:05:00,380
He had red hair and a beard.
84
00:05:00,482 --> 00:05:03,016
He was wearing a green suit
with brass buttons.
85
00:05:03,117 --> 00:05:05,369
And he stands about
ten inches tall.
86
00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:08,305
So we're talking
about a leprechaun?
87
00:05:08,406 --> 00:05:09,407
There you go.
88
00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:11,558
Oh, I didn't know your brother
was in town.
89
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:14,111
So, um, here's what
I think we should do.
90
00:05:14,212 --> 00:05:17,230
Put all the missing bottles
on my tab.
91
00:05:17,332 --> 00:05:20,301
Next time you see any
leprechauns, we'll tell Aspen.
92
00:05:20,401 --> 00:05:21,501
She's half-troll.
93
00:05:21,602 --> 00:05:24,104
I think, trolls eat
leprechauns, am I right?
94
00:05:24,206 --> 00:05:25,872
(SCOFFS)
95
00:05:25,973 --> 00:05:27,291
She would.
96
00:05:28,826 --> 00:05:31,912
MARTY: Today magic is
in the air at the grand hotel,
97
00:05:32,013 --> 00:05:36,867
and the winds of change are about to blow
our story in a strange new direction.
98
00:05:37,051 --> 00:05:39,086
But what would you expect
in a hotel
99
00:05:39,187 --> 00:05:42,440
founded by someone who loved
a good story as much as I?
100
00:05:42,541 --> 00:05:44,491
Time is of the essence
here, Skeeter.
101
00:05:44,592 --> 00:05:48,362
Oh, yeah, I know. I just don't want
the big boss man to get electrocuted.
102
00:05:48,663 --> 00:05:49,663
Of course.
103
00:05:49,764 --> 00:05:52,699
- You fixed it?
- Let me see here.
104
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,302
- (FEEDBACK)
- Yo, yo. Yo, yo.
105
00:05:55,403 --> 00:05:58,289
Check, check. One, two. Come on.
Yeah, yeah. Hear me in the back?
106
00:05:58,390 --> 00:05:59,856
- Whoa, whoa.
- Skeeter.
107
00:05:59,957 --> 00:06:02,009
I say "Barry,"
you say "Nottingham."
108
00:06:02,110 --> 00:06:03,727
- Barry.
- ALL: Nottingham.
109
00:06:03,828 --> 00:06:05,445
- Barry.
- ALL: Nottingham.
110
00:06:05,747 --> 00:06:07,648
♪ Barry had a Nottingham ♪
111
00:06:07,749 --> 00:06:09,899
♪ Nottingham, Nottingham ♪
112
00:06:10,251 --> 00:06:11,551
♪ Barry had a Nottingham ♪
113
00:06:11,652 --> 00:06:14,421
♪ Whose beard was ♪
♪ white as snow ♪
114
00:06:14,522 --> 00:06:17,817
(LAUGHS) Come on,
give it up for the big man.
115
00:06:17,843 --> 00:06:18,917
(APPLAUSE)
116
00:06:18,993 --> 00:06:20,393
Got them warmed up
for you, sir.
117
00:06:20,494 --> 00:06:23,030
- It's good to see you again.
- Germs.
118
00:06:23,131 --> 00:06:24,131
- Germs?
- Uh, Skeeter,
119
00:06:24,132 --> 00:06:26,183
Mr. Nottingham has
developed a fear, uh...
120
00:06:26,284 --> 00:06:27,551
Not a fear, an awareness...
121
00:06:27,819 --> 00:06:30,203
of germs and
how dangerous they can be
122
00:06:30,304 --> 00:06:33,991
when not properly...
feared, so...
123
00:06:34,092 --> 00:06:36,227
You're doing the right thing.
I didn't shower today.
124
00:06:36,328 --> 00:06:38,078
So, yeah,
let me get out of here.
125
00:06:38,179 --> 00:06:40,281
SKEETER:
Barry Nottingham, everybody.
126
00:06:43,050 --> 00:06:46,336
- He's brilliant, him. I love this guy.
- BARRY: Welcome.
127
00:06:46,437 --> 00:06:51,324
As you know, I own 23 hotels
from Berlin to Beijing.
128
00:06:51,425 --> 00:06:53,510
But it's no secret
that this one,
129
00:06:53,611 --> 00:06:57,181
the Sunny Vista Nottingham,
is my favorite.
130
00:07:00,234 --> 00:07:03,871
However, this is
a 20th-century hotel.
131
00:07:03,971 --> 00:07:07,207
We need something
for the 21st century.
132
00:07:07,308 --> 00:07:10,444
And so, we have decided
to close this hotel
133
00:07:10,545 --> 00:07:15,049
and to build a brand-new
Sunny Vista Mega Nottingham.
134
00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:17,167
(APPLAUSE)
135
00:07:18,452 --> 00:07:21,872
This will be the largest hotel
on the West Coast.
136
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,200
I simply don't understand what the
fuss is about. It's just a big building.
137
00:07:25,243 --> 00:07:28,212
Oh, no, no. This is like the
future of the hotel business.
138
00:07:28,313 --> 00:07:32,516
And a top-secret theme
that will blow your mind.
139
00:07:34,502 --> 00:07:35,869
Yes!
140
00:07:35,970 --> 00:07:40,524
So I'm proud to announce
the new hotel's general manager.
141
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:44,028
He's been waiting on this
for a long time.
142
00:07:44,129 --> 00:07:47,931
We all know how hard he works,
how intelligent he is,
143
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:50,434
how much this hotel
means to him.
144
00:07:50,535 --> 00:07:53,937
Take a bow,
Mr. Kendall Duncan!
145
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:56,273
Take a bow, Kendall.
146
00:07:57,075 --> 00:07:59,326
- God bless.
- Boo!
147
00:07:59,427 --> 00:08:00,894
(HISSING)
148
00:08:00,995 --> 00:08:03,697
MAN: A beautiful speech, sir.
A beautiful speech.
149
00:08:03,798 --> 00:08:05,682
I'm so glad you could come.
150
00:08:05,783 --> 00:08:07,584
It's great to see you.
151
00:08:07,685 --> 00:08:08,986
Don't touch me.
152
00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:10,670
Well done, Daddy.
153
00:08:12,857 --> 00:08:16,009
Oh, oh, hello there.
Do you know my daughter, Violet?
154
00:08:16,110 --> 00:08:17,828
Only by reputation, sir.
155
00:08:17,929 --> 00:08:19,263
Excuse me?
156
00:08:19,364 --> 00:08:22,349
No, no, not that
she has a reputation.
157
00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:24,250
I always heard she's very hot.
158
00:08:24,853 --> 00:08:26,586
Not hot as in hot.
159
00:08:26,687 --> 00:08:28,655
Hot, I meant warm...
Warm-hearted.
160
00:08:28,756 --> 00:08:32,376
And she likes to go out
and have fun, festive times,
161
00:08:32,476 --> 00:08:35,695
in bars, with a lot
of different guys, and...
162
00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:38,982
That's the old Violet Nottingham,
my friend. Before she met me.
163
00:08:38,984 --> 00:08:41,502
Now it's up to me to keep my
pooky-bear out of the spotlight
164
00:08:41,603 --> 00:08:45,271
and nightclubs and tabloids.
Isn't that right, sir? (CHUCKLES)
165
00:08:45,372 --> 00:08:48,408
Violet's off to her private
tennis lesson with Roger Federer.
166
00:08:48,509 --> 00:08:51,061
- Oh. All right, good for you.
- Bye, boys.
167
00:08:51,162 --> 00:08:53,947
Got to say, uh...
168
00:08:54,048 --> 00:08:57,635
it's gonna be hard for me to, uh, see
the hotel move locations like this.
169
00:08:57,736 --> 00:09:01,004
Well, I, I do hope you'll feel able
to come and work with us there.
170
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:03,106
Big as Kendall
wants to make it,
171
00:09:03,207 --> 00:09:05,942
well, there's going to be a lot
of light bulbs to change.
172
00:09:06,043 --> 00:09:07,293
(SNICKERING)
173
00:09:07,394 --> 00:09:09,346
Someone touched me.
Is there any sanitizer?
174
00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:11,982
There is, sir. Come this way.
I'll get you some. Please.
175
00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:14,017
Can't be too careful, Kendall.
176
00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:23,143
(RAY ANTHONY AND HIS ORCHESTRA
"THE HOKEY POKEY")
177
00:09:23,244 --> 00:09:25,712
All right, everyone finished
at the pottery table,
178
00:09:25,813 --> 00:09:27,280
bring their art to the kiln.
179
00:09:27,615 --> 00:09:29,916
The man with the rescue donkey's
leaving in five minutes,
180
00:09:30,017 --> 00:09:31,785
if you haven't gotten
a ride, hurry up.
181
00:09:31,886 --> 00:09:33,086
Thank you, Principal Duva.
182
00:09:33,187 --> 00:09:35,956
Oh, I'm not a principal
at this party. I'm a mom.
183
00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:38,375
Hey!
184
00:09:38,476 --> 00:09:41,511
I notice no one's eating
the gluten-free wheatgrass cake.
185
00:09:41,612 --> 00:09:45,281
Come on. Trust me, you
just got to get past the smell.
186
00:09:49,103 --> 00:09:51,271
What? The clown died?
187
00:09:51,372 --> 00:09:53,974
- What's in that bag?
- Oh, chocolate chip cookie.
188
00:09:54,308 --> 00:09:57,377
- Food!
- ALL KIDS: Food!
189
00:09:57,379 --> 00:10:00,497
- Slow it down, slow it down.
- Hey, sissy.
190
00:10:00,598 --> 00:10:04,117
Why do you bring sugary, chemical-filled
crud to my house every time you visit?
191
00:10:04,218 --> 00:10:07,420
What? Every time I visit? You haven't
invited me here in four years.
192
00:10:07,521 --> 00:10:09,807
What are you talking about?
It hasn't been four years.
193
00:10:09,907 --> 00:10:13,444
You were here for The Fourth of July
barbecue when you punched my husband?
194
00:10:13,545 --> 00:10:16,212
Yes. That was four years ago.
I wanted to give him a wedgie,
195
00:10:16,313 --> 00:10:18,147
but his underwear
had holes in it.
196
00:10:18,449 --> 00:10:21,084
I knew he'd be your ex-husband.
You should be happy.
197
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,486
All right.
Let's not start.
198
00:10:22,587 --> 00:10:24,237
How are the kids handling
199
00:10:24,338 --> 00:10:25,672
the old divorce anyways?
200
00:10:25,773 --> 00:10:28,842
They're both kind of off right now.
Bobbi's been really quiet.
201
00:10:28,943 --> 00:10:31,211
Why don't you go say hi.
I'm gonna pay the donkey guy.
202
00:10:31,312 --> 00:10:34,130
- Is that what stinks in here?
- No, it's the cake.
203
00:10:34,232 --> 00:10:35,682
What did she make, donkey cake?
204
00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:38,918
- (KIDS LAUGH)
- I smell manure.
205
00:10:39,187 --> 00:10:42,022
Hey, you guys.
Remember me?
206
00:10:42,957 --> 00:10:44,390
Uncle Skeeter.
207
00:10:44,491 --> 00:10:47,811
Man, you got big.
Haven't seen you in a while.
208
00:10:47,912 --> 00:10:50,614
Happy birthday there, Bobbi.
209
00:10:50,715 --> 00:10:52,933
I'm Patrick. She's Bobbi.
210
00:10:52,997 --> 00:10:53,997
Oh, my bad.
211
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:57,863
Got you a little something.
Happy birthday, Bobbi.
212
00:10:57,939 --> 00:11:00,807
Here you go.
Picked it up at the hotel.
213
00:11:01,592 --> 00:11:02,608
How's school going?
214
00:11:02,710 --> 00:11:05,028
- Skeeter?
- Yeah.
215
00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:08,047
Getting called to the principal's office.
Look at that.
216
00:11:08,148 --> 00:11:10,050
Have fun with the gifts. And...
217
00:11:10,935 --> 00:11:12,569
Yes, yes.
218
00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:14,904
Shampoo?
219
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,708
And a soap?
220
00:11:18,343 --> 00:11:20,510
Hanger and a towel.
221
00:11:20,778 --> 00:11:22,695
Do not talk
about school with them.
222
00:11:22,796 --> 00:11:24,898
What's going on
with the school?
223
00:11:24,999 --> 00:11:27,167
- They're closing it down.
- No.
224
00:11:27,268 --> 00:11:29,653
- I'm getting laid off.
- You?
225
00:11:29,754 --> 00:11:32,055
You're like
the classic school principal.
226
00:11:32,156 --> 00:11:36,426
I mean, you're, you're scary and bad with
people. Children are nervous around you.
227
00:11:36,527 --> 00:11:40,213
That doesn't sound right, but, I'm
just saying, what else could you do?
228
00:11:40,314 --> 00:11:44,083
Besides, maybe, Cuban dictator? Or the
bogeyman. You could be the bogeyman.
229
00:11:44,184 --> 00:11:45,952
- Anyway...
- What, what?
230
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,937
I've got some interviews
set up in Arizona,
231
00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:50,440
which is kind of what I
wanted to talk to you about.
232
00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:52,208
Uh-oh.
233
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,645
I need you to watch the kids...
for a week.
234
00:11:54,746 --> 00:11:57,697
No! No, they don't
even like me!
235
00:11:57,798 --> 00:11:59,699
It's not going to
be difficult, Skeeter.
236
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,534
My friend Jill is
a teacher at my school.
237
00:12:01,635 --> 00:12:04,938
She'll bring the kids in with her
and watch them till dinnertime.
238
00:12:05,039 --> 00:12:06,506
All you gotta do
is the night shift.
239
00:12:06,607 --> 00:12:08,474
Why can't your
stupid friend do that?
240
00:12:08,575 --> 00:12:11,294
She's got night school.
Skeeter!
241
00:12:11,395 --> 00:12:13,730
My husband left me.
I'm getting laid off.
242
00:12:13,832 --> 00:12:16,967
I, I have to move.
I need your help.
243
00:12:17,068 --> 00:12:19,703
So you need me.
This is good.
244
00:12:19,804 --> 00:12:20,904
I'll do it.
245
00:12:21,005 --> 00:12:22,672
But you got to say,
246
00:12:22,773 --> 00:12:24,875
"Skeeter is the coolest.
I am a nerd."
247
00:12:24,976 --> 00:12:26,543
"Skeeter's the coolest.
I'm a nerd?"
248
00:12:26,644 --> 00:12:30,030
Yeah, you are!
Whoo!
249
00:12:30,131 --> 00:12:31,247
OK. Hey, you guys.
250
00:12:31,348 --> 00:12:33,550
I'm going to hang out with you
this week. All right?
251
00:12:33,651 --> 00:12:35,719
Maybe we can go... fishing.
252
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:38,404
I'd rather you didn't.
Patrick's not a strong swimmer.
253
00:12:38,505 --> 00:12:39,756
OK, we'll stay inside.
254
00:12:39,857 --> 00:12:41,841
How about, uh,
we play some poker?
255
00:12:41,943 --> 00:12:44,961
- I can teach you that.
- Gambling? I don't think so.
256
00:12:45,279 --> 00:12:47,614
OK, how about we
just take walks in the park
257
00:12:47,715 --> 00:12:50,734
- and catalog plant species?
- Now you're talking.
258
00:12:50,835 --> 00:12:54,554
I don't know anything about plants except
you try to make cakes out of them!
259
00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:56,990
He liked that one.
I'm gonna end with a laugh.
260
00:12:57,091 --> 00:12:59,959
Give me some. Huh?
261
00:13:00,161 --> 00:13:03,013
I wasn't gonna hit you.
I was trying to do the fist thing.
262
00:13:03,114 --> 00:13:04,914
You don't know the fist thing?
263
00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,600
OK, I was just...
264
00:13:07,401 --> 00:13:10,470
That's what, uh,
the children do.
265
00:13:10,571 --> 00:13:12,372
Hey, yeh, yeh.
266
00:13:15,326 --> 00:13:16,759
Oh, this your truck, chief?
267
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:18,361
Yes, it is, ma'am.
268
00:13:18,596 --> 00:13:21,314
You realize you're taking up
two parking spaces?
269
00:13:21,415 --> 00:13:22,966
It's a big truck, ma'am.
270
00:13:23,067 --> 00:13:25,619
It's not that big, sir.
You could fit into one spot.
271
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,754
I had to park
all the way down the block.
272
00:13:27,855 --> 00:13:30,423
Oh. Well, next time park in that box.
Plenty of room in there.
273
00:13:30,557 --> 00:13:34,627
Anyway, here's the situation.
This is not really my truck,
274
00:13:34,728 --> 00:13:36,813
this is the hotel
I work for's truck.
275
00:13:36,914 --> 00:13:40,083
So if I get a scratch on it,
they take it out of my salary.
276
00:13:40,184 --> 00:13:42,952
So two parking spaces
provides me with what I call
277
00:13:43,053 --> 00:13:46,623
"a cushion of protection."
278
00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:49,475
Wait, a hotel? Oh, wait.
You're Wendy's brother.
279
00:13:49,576 --> 00:13:51,428
- Yeah.
- I'm Jill.
280
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:53,697
- Who's that?
- I'm her friend,
281
00:13:53,798 --> 00:13:57,033
the one helping take care of the
kids next. I'm the day shift.
282
00:13:57,134 --> 00:14:01,821
OK, June. You plan on being
this hostile the whole time?
283
00:14:01,922 --> 00:14:03,690
Jill. My name is Jill.
284
00:14:03,791 --> 00:14:06,059
Do you plan on keeping that
haircut the rest of the time?
285
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:10,230
Oh, haven't you heard?
Goofy's the new handsome.
286
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:14,484
(ENGINE SPLUTTERS)
287
00:14:14,585 --> 00:14:18,388
- That sounds good for the environment.
- Oh, we can't all have Priuses.
288
00:14:18,489 --> 00:14:20,857
How do you know
I drive a Prius?
289
00:14:20,959 --> 00:14:23,709
Your whole aura reads Prius.
290
00:14:23,810 --> 00:14:26,279
(BUBBLING SOUNDS)
291
00:14:26,381 --> 00:14:28,865
Anyways, you're in my
cushion of protection right now.
292
00:14:28,967 --> 00:14:32,035
I want to back up, so if you
could just zing-zang up there,
293
00:14:32,136 --> 00:14:34,955
- that would be helpful.
- Yeah.
294
00:14:35,056 --> 00:14:36,956
You might want some Cinnabons.
You'll need it.
295
00:14:37,308 --> 00:14:40,527
- Food!
- (KIDS SHOUTING)
296
00:14:40,628 --> 00:14:44,781
Give it back!
Somebody owes me six bucks!
297
00:14:44,882 --> 00:14:49,602
So why didn't you demand that he make
you the big boss of the new hotel?
298
00:14:49,703 --> 00:14:50,803
He promised your dad.
299
00:14:51,105 --> 00:14:53,406
I wanted to.
It just wasn't the right time.
300
00:14:53,507 --> 00:14:54,841
Let me tell you how it works.
301
00:14:54,942 --> 00:14:56,642
The big man's giving the job
to Kendall
302
00:14:56,743 --> 00:14:58,278
because he's dating
his daughter.
303
00:14:58,379 --> 00:15:00,280
That's the way it works,
keep it in the family.
304
00:15:00,381 --> 00:15:03,298
He gets the girl, he gets the
job, he gets everything.
305
00:15:03,324 --> 00:15:04,543
And I get nothing.
306
00:15:04,702 --> 00:15:06,937
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
307
00:15:09,207 --> 00:15:10,790
(RINGTONE SCREECHES)
308
00:15:10,958 --> 00:15:13,043
- Hello?
- JILL: Where are you? Still there?
309
00:15:13,144 --> 00:15:14,711
I'm still where?
Who's this?
310
00:15:14,812 --> 00:15:17,781
Look, I've got to get to class.
The kids are waiting for you, OK?
311
00:15:17,882 --> 00:15:20,083
Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah,
I'm sorry.
312
00:15:20,184 --> 00:15:22,902
(STAMMERS) I forgot.
I'll be there in like 20 minutes.
313
00:15:23,003 --> 00:15:24,204
(PHONE BEEPS OFF)
314
00:15:24,305 --> 00:15:27,140
I'm gonna baby-sit
my nephew and niece tonight.
315
00:15:27,241 --> 00:15:31,044
Oh, God.
Got any advice for me?
316
00:15:31,145 --> 00:15:33,646
Yes, I do. Sometimes I baby-sit
my cousins, right?
317
00:15:33,748 --> 00:15:35,949
And what I do is
I let them style me hair.
318
00:15:36,050 --> 00:15:39,369
Like put beads into it and braid
it, make me look all real sexy.
319
00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:42,172
Like Milli Vanilli, stuff like that.
You should try that.
320
00:15:42,273 --> 00:15:45,492
Braid my hair? That's a good idea.
Can I have some French fries?
321
00:15:45,593 --> 00:15:48,227
Of course you can.
You're my best friend.
322
00:15:48,329 --> 00:15:50,180
(GASPS)
323
00:15:50,281 --> 00:15:52,548
Ah! Actually, I really like
ketchup on my face
324
00:15:52,649 --> 00:15:54,550
because it's
rejuvenating for the skin.
325
00:15:54,651 --> 00:15:57,153
So who's the real victim?
You are.
326
00:15:57,254 --> 00:16:00,056
Mmm! Delicious.
327
00:16:04,078 --> 00:16:05,711
Do you think
these signs will help?
328
00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:08,315
Well, miracles happen,
you know?
329
00:16:08,416 --> 00:16:10,617
You mean like Dad coming back?
330
00:16:10,718 --> 00:16:11,818
Um...
331
00:16:11,919 --> 00:16:15,371
- (DOOR CLOSES)
- (SKEETER SINGING)
332
00:16:15,472 --> 00:16:19,058
(LAUGHING) Hey!
Sorry I'm late.
333
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,010
So, um, their pajamas
are on their beds,
334
00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:24,781
and I will be back, um,
at 8:30 to pick them up, OK?
335
00:16:24,882 --> 00:16:27,383
- All right.
- Here is my cell phone number.
336
00:16:27,484 --> 00:16:30,002
And call me if there's
any emergencies.
337
00:16:30,103 --> 00:16:32,872
All right. Have fun
at night school.
338
00:16:32,973 --> 00:16:35,175
- JILL: Bye, guys.
- Bye.
339
00:16:35,276 --> 00:16:37,326
All packed up here.
340
00:16:37,428 --> 00:16:40,963
I got my, uh, toothbrush
and, uh, and the toothpaste.
341
00:16:42,867 --> 00:16:44,434
Some clean underwear.
342
00:16:45,469 --> 00:16:47,737
Well, maybe not that clean.
343
00:16:49,357 --> 00:16:50,890
You guys want to watch TV?
344
00:16:51,225 --> 00:16:52,858
We don't have a TV.
345
00:16:52,959 --> 00:16:54,227
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
346
00:16:54,328 --> 00:16:56,413
- Hello?
- SKEETER: Emergency!
347
00:16:58,048 --> 00:16:59,582
They don't have a TV.
348
00:16:59,683 --> 00:17:01,985
Wendy doesn't let them watch TV.
You didn't know?
349
00:17:02,086 --> 00:17:03,887
I don't know a lot of things
about these kids.
350
00:17:03,954 --> 00:17:06,890
I wasn't allowed over here.
Their old man didn't like me.
351
00:17:06,991 --> 00:17:09,993
OK, listen, you don't need a TV.
You can, um, play a game, do a puzzle.
352
00:17:10,094 --> 00:17:12,195
I'm sure you can figure
something out. OK?
353
00:17:12,296 --> 00:17:15,165
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Should I let
them braid my hair or something?
354
00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:16,866
Would they like that?
355
00:17:16,884 --> 00:17:19,402
I don't think anyone
should touch that hair.
356
00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:26,326
Hey, what do you say we go...
357
00:17:26,427 --> 00:17:30,163
next door and toilet paper
your neighbor's trees?
358
00:17:31,048 --> 00:17:34,117
No? OK, bedtime!
359
00:17:34,985 --> 00:17:37,988
(THUNDER, RAIN FALLING)
360
00:17:44,762 --> 00:17:46,796
OK, so you guys cool?
361
00:17:46,897 --> 00:17:49,532
You have to read us
a bedtime story.
362
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,951
Yeah, all right.
You have any?
363
00:17:53,036 --> 00:17:57,257
Whoo! What do you got here,
anyways?
364
00:17:57,358 --> 00:18:00,860
"Rainbow Alligator Saves
the Wetlands"?
365
00:18:00,961 --> 00:18:02,695
Mmm, no.
366
00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:06,216
"The Organic Squirrel
Gets a Bike Helmet"?
367
00:18:06,317 --> 00:18:08,798
I'm not reading these
communist books to you guys.
368
00:18:08,824 --> 00:18:10,428
Don't you got any real stories?
369
00:18:10,571 --> 00:18:12,922
- Like what?
- Like what?
370
00:18:13,023 --> 00:18:15,424
Like, like cowboys? Or dragons?
371
00:18:15,525 --> 00:18:18,895
Or aliens? Or... What the heck
is on my head right now?
372
00:18:18,996 --> 00:18:21,764
That's Bugsy, our guinea pig.
373
00:18:21,999 --> 00:18:25,201
- Why do you call him Bugsy?
- Because of his eyes.
374
00:18:25,302 --> 00:18:27,036
Let me see them.
375
00:18:27,537 --> 00:18:28,755
(SQUEAKING)
376
00:18:28,856 --> 00:18:33,626
Wow! Those eyes
would be big on a cow.
377
00:18:33,727 --> 00:18:35,411
(SQUEAKING)
378
00:18:35,512 --> 00:18:37,830
Are those eyeballs
or bowling balls?
379
00:18:37,931 --> 00:18:39,816
Can't keep my eyes off of them.
380
00:18:40,167 --> 00:18:43,636
Just get in there so I don't have
to look at them anymore. Goodbye.
381
00:18:43,737 --> 00:18:45,288
Anyways, uh,
382
00:18:45,389 --> 00:18:47,924
you guys want me to, uh,
make up a story for you?
383
00:18:48,025 --> 00:18:50,126
Like, like my old man
used to do for me?
384
00:18:50,227 --> 00:18:52,128
Maybe I could be good at this.
385
00:18:53,581 --> 00:18:56,316
All right, um...
386
00:18:56,417 --> 00:18:57,634
Here goes.
387
00:18:57,735 --> 00:19:02,906
Once upon a time,
in a magical, faraway kingdom...
388
00:19:04,158 --> 00:19:07,527
there was a brave
and noble knight.
389
00:19:07,828 --> 00:19:10,496
Strikingly handsome.
390
00:19:10,597 --> 00:19:12,198
Who lived in a grand castle
391
00:19:12,299 --> 00:19:17,970
that weary travelers from near
and far would come and visit.
392
00:19:18,071 --> 00:19:21,891
Now, this knight had been
working his butt off for years.
393
00:19:22,242 --> 00:19:24,761
You'd think he'd be a shoo-in
to rule the castle, right?
394
00:19:24,862 --> 00:19:26,997
- PATRICK: Right.
- SKEETER: Wrong.
395
00:19:27,098 --> 00:19:32,335
Actually, he wasn't
even a knight at all.
396
00:19:32,436 --> 00:19:33,586
(NEIGHS)
397
00:19:33,687 --> 00:19:35,755
Oh, no.
398
00:19:37,124 --> 00:19:40,676
SKEETER: He was, in fact,
just a lowly peasant.
399
00:19:40,777 --> 00:19:43,980
And even though he was the son
of the late, great Lord Marty...
400
00:19:44,081 --> 00:19:45,831
- (INDISTINCT)
- Thank you.
401
00:19:45,932 --> 00:19:49,902
And knew everything there is
to know about running a castle,
402
00:19:50,004 --> 00:19:52,922
everyone just
took him for granted.
403
00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:57,360
His name was
Mr. Underappreciated.
404
00:19:57,461 --> 00:19:58,962
What's "underdemeciated"?
405
00:19:59,063 --> 00:20:02,015
- Under de-what?
- Underdemeciated.
406
00:20:02,116 --> 00:20:04,100
That's right,
I forgot you were six.
407
00:20:04,201 --> 00:20:07,404
His name was
Sir... Fix-A-Lot.
408
00:20:07,505 --> 00:20:10,373
But alas, the kingdom
where Sir Fix-A-Lot lived
409
00:20:10,474 --> 00:20:14,810
did not place much value on
dedication or hard work, I guess.
410
00:20:15,045 --> 00:20:20,283
Because the superstar in all
the land was Sir Butt-Kiss.
411
00:20:20,484 --> 00:20:24,637
And he spent all his days
kissing everybody's butt.
412
00:20:24,738 --> 00:20:26,189
(KISSING SOUNDS)
413
00:20:26,290 --> 00:20:28,207
- Boo!
- (GIGGLES)
414
00:20:28,308 --> 00:20:30,776
And my lord, yes,
of course I can get you
415
00:20:30,877 --> 00:20:33,913
front row house seats to "The Lion King."
(LAUGHS)
416
00:20:34,081 --> 00:20:36,933
And Sir Fix-A-Lot had
a best friend, Friar Fred,
417
00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:38,718
who was not right in the head.
418
00:20:38,819 --> 00:20:43,356
She never! No!
Not our queen, I won't have that.
419
00:20:43,457 --> 00:20:47,376
- Were there any kids in the kingdom?
- SKEETER: Yes, yes. Of course.
420
00:20:48,311 --> 00:20:50,013
There were two young pages.
421
00:20:50,213 --> 00:20:53,983
Mistress Stinky
and Master Smelly.
422
00:20:54,084 --> 00:20:56,720
Hey-oh! And don't forget...
423
00:20:56,821 --> 00:20:59,289
Jillian! The queen
of the fairies!
424
00:20:59,389 --> 00:21:00,957
SKEETER:
Queen of the fairies?
425
00:21:01,058 --> 00:21:04,660
I mean, if she has to be there,
let's just make her an angry raven.
426
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:07,897
(CAWS)
427
00:21:07,998 --> 00:21:10,115
Parking spot!
428
00:21:10,216 --> 00:21:12,302
PATRICK: She should be
a mermaid teacher.
429
00:21:12,403 --> 00:21:14,971
BOBBI: Yeah. The best
mermaid teacher in the world.
430
00:21:15,072 --> 00:21:17,891
Children, open your books
to page 16.
431
00:21:17,992 --> 00:21:19,325
Yes, Miss Mermaid.
432
00:21:19,426 --> 00:21:20,660
Let's begin.
433
00:21:20,761 --> 00:21:22,829
All right, she's a mermaid.
Whatever you want.
434
00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:24,547
Anyways, back to the story.
435
00:21:24,648 --> 00:21:28,717
One day the king invited
all his subjects to the castle.
436
00:21:28,818 --> 00:21:30,887
I bring glad tidings.
437
00:21:30,988 --> 00:21:33,539
For on this day
I have chosen a champion
438
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,274
who will run this castle
439
00:21:35,375 --> 00:21:40,146
and be my closest advisor
and bestest buddy.
440
00:21:40,247 --> 00:21:42,665
My new champion is...
441
00:21:42,766 --> 00:21:44,267
Sir Butt-Kiss!
442
00:21:44,368 --> 00:21:46,686
(CHEERS, APPLAUSE)
443
00:21:54,211 --> 00:21:55,528
Thank you.
444
00:21:55,695 --> 00:21:59,866
Poor Sir Fix-A-Lot
had been passed over.
445
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:04,287
So, Sir Fix-A-Lot
moved into a giant shoe,
446
00:22:04,388 --> 00:22:08,057
got a bad case
of athlete's face,
447
00:22:08,158 --> 00:22:09,158
dove into a moat...
448
00:22:09,393 --> 00:22:11,410
Ah, what the heck.
(SHOUTS)
449
00:22:11,711 --> 00:22:13,146
and got eaten by crocodiles.
450
00:22:13,246 --> 00:22:15,281
(SHOUTING)
451
00:22:15,382 --> 00:22:16,582
The end.
452
00:22:16,684 --> 00:22:19,686
The end? That can't be the end.
453
00:22:19,853 --> 00:22:21,788
- Why? Why not?
- It's not happy.
454
00:22:21,889 --> 00:22:26,025
There aren't happy endings in real life.
Sooner you know that, the better.
455
00:22:26,126 --> 00:22:28,194
- It's not fair!
- What? What's not fair?
456
00:22:28,295 --> 00:22:32,615
I mean, shouldn't Sir Fix-A-Lot at
least get a shot to be champion?
457
00:22:32,716 --> 00:22:36,085
- A shot? Hmm...
- If Sir Fix-A-Lot is better
458
00:22:36,186 --> 00:22:39,372
than Sir Butt-Kiss, he should
get a chance to prove it.
459
00:22:39,473 --> 00:22:41,774
OK. Yeah, yeah,
Bobbi, good.
460
00:22:41,875 --> 00:22:43,609
BOBBI: What the king
really said was...
461
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:46,028
On second thought,
462
00:22:46,129 --> 00:22:49,065
there is another worthy man
in my kingdom,
463
00:22:49,166 --> 00:22:53,052
and it wouldn't be fair
unless he got a shot, too.
464
00:22:53,153 --> 00:22:55,671
Sir Fix-A-Lot!
465
00:22:55,772 --> 00:22:57,806
SKEETER:
And then the crowd went nuts.
466
00:22:57,907 --> 00:23:00,076
(JOURNEY "DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'")
467
00:23:00,177 --> 00:23:04,981
But, Sire, Fix-A-Lot
is as common as muck.
468
00:23:05,007 --> 00:23:06,207
Boo!
469
00:23:06,283 --> 00:23:09,268
SKEETER: And Friar Fred
drop-kicked a booing goblin.
470
00:23:09,369 --> 00:23:12,188
- Boo!
- (MAN SHOUTS)
471
00:23:12,289 --> 00:23:16,442
And the mermaid teacher did one of
those weird tail dolphin moves.
472
00:23:19,113 --> 00:23:21,664
And Stinky and Smelly
did the fastest Irish jig ever.
473
00:23:21,765 --> 00:23:24,867
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
474
00:23:24,968 --> 00:23:27,403
(LAUGHS)
Yeah. Right on.
475
00:23:27,504 --> 00:23:30,673
Prince Bugsy busted out
some fancy moves.
476
00:23:30,774 --> 00:23:32,341
(SQUEAKING)
477
00:23:32,442 --> 00:23:33,743
And then... and then...
478
00:23:33,844 --> 00:23:35,712
It started raining gumballs.
479
00:23:36,079 --> 00:23:39,198
♪ Streetlight ♪
480
00:23:39,299 --> 00:23:41,150
Raining gumballs?
481
00:23:41,251 --> 00:23:44,153
Why not? It's a bedtime story.
Anything can happen.
482
00:23:44,387 --> 00:23:47,524
Yeah, yeah.
I guess in a story.
483
00:23:47,625 --> 00:23:50,709
I just wish it was like that
in real life. I really do.
484
00:23:50,811 --> 00:23:52,011
(BELL CHIMES)
485
00:23:52,112 --> 00:23:55,114
- What was that?
- Bugsy.
486
00:23:55,215 --> 00:23:56,999
- (CHITTERS)
- SKEETER: Oh.
487
00:23:57,368 --> 00:23:58,768
He rings that bell
when he's hungry?
488
00:23:58,919 --> 00:24:02,539
No, when he needs
to go to sleep.
489
00:24:03,673 --> 00:24:05,908
(GURGLING SOUNDS)
490
00:24:06,009 --> 00:24:08,477
(YAWNING)
491
00:24:08,578 --> 00:24:11,648
OK. As you wish, Your Highness.
492
00:24:14,835 --> 00:24:19,288
All right, you guys, have a good sleep.
You, too, uh, weird eyes.
493
00:24:19,473 --> 00:24:22,208
- (BUGSY CHITTERS)
- (SKEETER MAKES CHIRPING NOISE)
494
00:24:26,530 --> 00:24:29,749
SKEETER: Well, I don't
have much to work with,
495
00:24:29,850 --> 00:24:31,934
but I will make us
496
00:24:32,036 --> 00:24:35,171
a delicious breakfast
497
00:24:35,272 --> 00:24:37,673
that I know you will enjoy.
498
00:24:37,774 --> 00:24:40,910
Yes, some banana
on the rice cake,
499
00:24:41,011 --> 00:24:43,579
and then what do we call this?
Wheat germ.
500
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,749
I was told germs are bad
for you, but here goes.
501
00:24:47,834 --> 00:24:49,602
I like it.
502
00:24:49,703 --> 00:24:52,188
A rice cake-banana-wheat germ
sandwich.
503
00:24:52,289 --> 00:24:54,106
And what do we got?
504
00:24:59,512 --> 00:25:00,946
This is terrible.
505
00:25:01,048 --> 00:25:03,582
Doesn't your, your mother
have taste buds?
506
00:25:03,684 --> 00:25:06,485
What are we doing here?
We got nothing to use in this house.
507
00:25:06,586 --> 00:25:08,538
Hang on.
508
00:25:09,857 --> 00:25:11,757
A little flavor.
509
00:25:13,327 --> 00:25:16,913
It's good because, now we don't
have to brush our teeth.
510
00:25:18,699 --> 00:25:23,118
There you go. At least we got a
little mint going on. Guys want one?
511
00:25:23,537 --> 00:25:25,821
- (CELL PHONE RINGS)
- Hang on.
512
00:25:27,858 --> 00:25:30,593
- (RINGTONE SCREECHES)
- Hello!
513
00:25:30,694 --> 00:25:33,429
Bronson? The television set
in Mr. Nottingham's room
514
00:25:33,530 --> 00:25:35,798
is broken and it needs
to be fixed right away.
515
00:25:35,899 --> 00:25:38,734
I have a situation here. I'm
watching my nephew and my niece.
516
00:25:39,002 --> 00:25:41,304
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you having
difficulty hearing me?
517
00:25:41,405 --> 00:25:44,140
Mr. Nottingham wants
to watch television now!
518
00:25:44,241 --> 00:25:46,325
I hear you.
I speak trollinese, don't worry.
519
00:25:46,426 --> 00:25:49,295
- There's a leprechaun behind you.
- (SQUEALS)
520
00:25:49,396 --> 00:25:51,497
- Gotcha.
- (PHONE BEEPS OFF)
521
00:25:54,284 --> 00:25:56,469
Thanks a lot, gentlemen. OK.
522
00:25:56,570 --> 00:25:58,171
- Wow.
- Yeah, it's pretty, huh?
523
00:25:58,272 --> 00:25:59,272
Whoa!
524
00:25:59,339 --> 00:26:01,140
I got to go fix my boss'
television set,
525
00:26:01,241 --> 00:26:03,076
but I need somebody
to watch you two.
526
00:26:03,177 --> 00:26:06,128
PAPARAZZO: Violet!
Right here. Give a smile.
527
00:26:06,229 --> 00:26:07,430
Hang on.
528
00:26:07,531 --> 00:26:11,233
Violet! Skeeter Bronson,
the handyman from the other day.
529
00:26:11,335 --> 00:26:12,952
Oh, right. Yes.
530
00:26:13,053 --> 00:26:15,121
Listen, uh, I got some kids
with me right now.
531
00:26:15,222 --> 00:26:17,974
My nephew and niece. But,
I gotta fix your father's TV.
532
00:26:18,075 --> 00:26:20,976
- Could you watch them for a few minutes?
- Huh?
533
00:26:21,077 --> 00:26:22,378
(BELL DINGS)
534
00:26:22,479 --> 00:26:24,663
- Yeah, yeah. All right, I'm going.
- (GASPS)
535
00:26:24,831 --> 00:26:28,017
- (KNOCKING)
- BARRY: Come in.
536
00:26:29,652 --> 00:26:32,872
- SKEETER: Mr. Nottingham, sir?
- BARRY: Uh, the telly won't turn on.
537
00:26:32,973 --> 00:26:36,825
SKEETER: It won't? Well, let me just
take a... tallyho at it, OK?
538
00:26:36,926 --> 00:26:38,727
I'll just flip this light on.
539
00:26:38,828 --> 00:26:42,265
No, no, no, no!
Absolutely not!
540
00:26:42,366 --> 00:26:43,816
I'm fighting a cold here.
541
00:26:43,917 --> 00:26:46,285
I must stay in the dark
whenever possible.
542
00:26:46,386 --> 00:26:47,720
Do you realize
543
00:26:47,821 --> 00:26:51,857
germs can reproduce 80 percent
faster in bright light?
544
00:26:51,958 --> 00:26:54,526
Oh, OK. Here we go,
nice and dark again.
545
00:26:54,628 --> 00:26:56,929
- The germs are confused.
- Come towards me.
546
00:26:57,247 --> 00:26:59,832
OK. It's got to be
around here somewhere.
547
00:26:59,966 --> 00:27:02,351
- (SKEETER SHOUTS)
- (CRASHING)
548
00:27:02,452 --> 00:27:04,119
BARRY:
For heaven's sake.
549
00:27:04,221 --> 00:27:06,322
I'm so sorry, sir.
I just can't see a thing.
550
00:27:06,423 --> 00:27:08,357
- To your left, there.
- Oh!
551
00:27:08,642 --> 00:27:12,362
There's the TV.
So how's the, uh, new hotel coming, sir?
552
00:27:12,463 --> 00:27:16,598
Oh, very well. Still dealing with the
city on building permits and whatnot.
553
00:27:16,699 --> 00:27:17,699
Uh-huh.
554
00:27:17,784 --> 00:27:19,552
I can't tell you
the secret theme.
555
00:27:19,653 --> 00:27:21,987
It's so good, we don't want
anyone to steal it.
556
00:27:22,189 --> 00:27:25,041
- I hear you, sir.
- OK, I'll tell you.
557
00:27:25,142 --> 00:27:27,093
Come along, sit down.
Please.
558
00:27:27,393 --> 00:27:28,827
Great.
559
00:27:29,662 --> 00:27:31,581
BARRY:
Ready?
560
00:27:32,699 --> 00:27:35,167
Rock and roll.
561
00:27:35,268 --> 00:27:38,170
Vintage vinyl.
Music memorabilia in the lobby.
562
00:27:38,271 --> 00:27:41,590
Oh, OK. Like, uh,
like the Hard Rock?
563
00:27:41,691 --> 00:27:44,360
- The What What?
- The Hard Rock Hotel.
564
00:27:44,461 --> 00:27:48,497
They've been using
that theme for, like, years.
565
00:27:48,682 --> 00:27:53,653
Get Kendall Duncan
up here straightaway, please.
566
00:27:53,754 --> 00:27:55,771
VIOLET: What a perfect
little powder puff.
567
00:27:55,872 --> 00:27:59,742
(SQUEAKS, PURRS)
568
00:27:59,843 --> 00:28:00,943
Thank you.
569
00:28:01,044 --> 00:28:04,313
So, Patrick, truth or dare?
570
00:28:04,647 --> 00:28:06,248
Truth?
571
00:28:06,349 --> 00:28:09,919
How old were you the first
time you kissed a girl?
572
00:28:10,020 --> 00:28:12,071
Patrick never kissed a girl.
573
00:28:12,172 --> 00:28:14,189
Girls are bis-crusting.
574
00:28:14,941 --> 00:28:17,493
Except for Trisha Sparks.
575
00:28:17,660 --> 00:28:20,613
Ooh, is that a girl in your
class, you little Romeo?
576
00:28:20,714 --> 00:28:21,997
JILL:
Hey, guys.
577
00:28:22,098 --> 00:28:24,200
Hi, Aunt Jill, did you
get the note we left you?
578
00:28:24,301 --> 00:28:26,052
Yes, I did.
579
00:28:26,153 --> 00:28:29,155
And, uh, now we have to get you
guys ready for school. So, come on.
580
00:28:29,256 --> 00:28:31,289
- Hi.
- Hi.
581
00:28:32,409 --> 00:28:34,176
Oh, hey. You're, uh...
582
00:28:34,277 --> 00:28:38,781
- Uh. Here's your fat mouse.
- It's a guinea pig, but...
583
00:28:38,882 --> 00:28:41,651
And you, young man...
584
00:28:41,752 --> 00:28:47,305
I want to hear all about this little
Trisha Sparks next time I see you.
585
00:28:50,210 --> 00:28:52,311
Trisha Sparks is
two years older than you.
586
00:28:52,412 --> 00:28:54,947
She's hot.
587
00:28:56,666 --> 00:29:02,004
I'm very disappointed in you, Kendall.
We almost made an apocalyptic mistake.
588
00:29:02,105 --> 00:29:07,259
This rock and roll idea
of yours is old hat.
589
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:12,047
Well, sir, I had every intention
of putting our own spin on it.
590
00:29:12,148 --> 00:29:13,282
Do you know what, Skeeter?
591
00:29:13,383 --> 00:29:15,918
I'm starting to get
a fuzzy recollection
592
00:29:16,019 --> 00:29:18,220
of something I said
to your father.
593
00:29:18,321 --> 00:29:23,559
In fact, I am going
to give you a shot.
594
00:29:23,660 --> 00:29:27,479
If you can come up with a
better theme than Kendall does,
595
00:29:27,580 --> 00:29:29,582
I'll let you run
the new place instead.
596
00:29:29,683 --> 00:29:31,968
(KENDALL LAUGHS)
Oh, sir.
597
00:29:32,069 --> 00:29:34,804
Don't you think this is perhaps a
little too much of a cruel joke
598
00:29:34,905 --> 00:29:38,307
to be playing on somebody as...
well, the, the maintenance guy?
599
00:29:38,408 --> 00:29:40,375
- No, I don't.
- KENDALL: No.
600
00:29:40,476 --> 00:29:45,181
Mr. Bronson has been working
for this company for 25 years.
601
00:29:45,282 --> 00:29:49,852
I'm beginning to think I may have
seriously underdemeciated him.
602
00:29:49,953 --> 00:29:51,921
KENDALL: I'm sorry.
"Underdemeciated"?
603
00:29:52,138 --> 00:29:57,576
Precisely. You can both present your
ideas at my birthday party this weekend.
604
00:29:57,677 --> 00:30:00,079
Thank you, Kendall.
That is all.
605
00:30:00,180 --> 00:30:02,732
Mr. Bronson, the television,
if you would.
606
00:30:02,833 --> 00:30:05,535
Oh, and do watch out
for the germ vaporizer.
607
00:30:05,636 --> 00:30:07,102
- (CRASH)
- (SHOUTS)
608
00:30:07,203 --> 00:30:08,404
(FALCO "ROCK ME AMADEUS")
609
00:30:08,505 --> 00:30:10,589
SKEETER:
The best day of my life!
610
00:30:10,690 --> 00:30:12,992
(SKEETER SINGS WITH RADIO)
♪ Amadeus Amadeus ♪
611
00:30:13,109 --> 00:30:16,095
♪ Amadeus Ow! Amadeus ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪
612
00:30:16,196 --> 00:30:19,081
♪ Amadeus Amadeus Amadeus ♪
613
00:30:19,182 --> 00:30:21,483
♪ Ooh, rock me Amadeus ♪
614
00:30:21,534 --> 00:30:24,486
- ♪ Amadeus Amadeus ♪
- (ENGINE REVS)
615
00:30:24,587 --> 00:30:26,222
(TURNS RADIO OFF)
616
00:30:26,322 --> 00:30:28,724
Whoa. I like your car, pal.
617
00:30:28,825 --> 00:30:30,505
Hey, thanks, champ.
You know what they say.
618
00:30:30,527 --> 00:30:33,062
You want to be the best,
you got to drive the best.
619
00:30:33,163 --> 00:30:34,880
Hey, uh, not to get personal,
620
00:30:34,981 --> 00:30:37,482
but what's a sweet ride
like that cost, anyways?
621
00:30:37,583 --> 00:30:40,840
You know what? Actually it's
surprisingly affordable.
622
00:30:40,866 --> 00:30:41,679
Yeah?
623
00:30:41,755 --> 00:30:44,640
If you saved every paycheck you
earn for the rest of your life
624
00:30:44,741 --> 00:30:47,843
and then multiply it by ten, you
could probably buy my muffler.
625
00:30:50,063 --> 00:30:52,097
Ah-ooga!
626
00:30:52,198 --> 00:30:54,549
Oh, you wanna drag race, do you?
627
00:30:54,934 --> 00:30:58,254
(SPLUTTERS, BACKFIRES)
628
00:30:58,355 --> 00:31:01,390
You win!
Good job.
629
00:31:21,745 --> 00:31:23,679
What?
630
00:31:52,475 --> 00:31:54,677
This is spooky.
631
00:32:01,201 --> 00:32:04,636
You've got to be kidding me!
Look at this. I'm losing all my candy.
632
00:32:04,737 --> 00:32:09,007
How can you not see
a 50-foot trailer? Come on.
633
00:32:12,645 --> 00:32:16,615
So you have to compete for your job with
Skeeter Bronson. You'll annihilate him.
634
00:32:16,716 --> 00:32:19,851
Oh, I know. It's just
a little degrading, that's all.
635
00:32:19,952 --> 00:32:21,754
(PHONES RINGING)
636
00:32:22,555 --> 00:32:24,657
Thanks for being there.
637
00:32:24,758 --> 00:32:29,377
I'll be there as long as
there's a there to be at.
638
00:32:29,478 --> 00:32:30,613
(GROWLS)
639
00:32:30,714 --> 00:32:31,730
(BARKS)
640
00:32:31,831 --> 00:32:32,931
(CLEARS THROAT)
641
00:32:33,032 --> 00:32:34,032
Oh, hello, children.
642
00:32:34,134 --> 00:32:36,134
We're looking for
Skeeter Bronson.
643
00:32:36,235 --> 00:32:38,604
- (KENDALL GROANS)
- Oh, Mr. Bronson.
644
00:32:38,705 --> 00:32:40,739
Yes, you'll find him
in room 109.
645
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,242
- OK.
- Please, this way.
646
00:32:43,343 --> 00:32:45,076
(BUGSY TWITTERS)
647
00:32:53,336 --> 00:32:55,888
- Oh, my God! Did you see that thing?
- Those eyes.
648
00:32:55,989 --> 00:32:59,091
They were, they were staring
into my, my very soul.
649
00:33:00,610 --> 00:33:02,227
- Hey, Uncle Skeeter!
- Hey!
650
00:33:02,328 --> 00:33:05,864
- Just who I wanted to see.
- Hey, chief, here's Bugsy.
651
00:33:05,965 --> 00:33:07,645
- Got him.
- Why do they have to stay here?
652
00:33:07,734 --> 00:33:09,918
Because I'm on call tonight,
Jennifer.
653
00:33:10,019 --> 00:33:12,021
It's Jill, actually, Scooter.
654
00:33:12,122 --> 00:33:13,522
It is? OK, yeah...
655
00:33:15,859 --> 00:33:17,125
You did not just do that.
656
00:33:17,226 --> 00:33:19,361
I did. Watch.
I'm gonna do it again.
657
00:33:20,713 --> 00:33:23,966
So, guys, anything weird
happen to you today?
658
00:33:24,067 --> 00:33:27,369
I had a substitute teacher
with an eye patch.
659
00:33:27,470 --> 00:33:30,188
Uh... that's a little weird.
I'm talking like big-time weird.
660
00:33:30,289 --> 00:33:32,892
Maybe coincidence weird, uh...
661
00:33:32,993 --> 00:33:35,628
as in gumball weird?
662
00:33:35,729 --> 00:33:37,513
We're not allowed to chew gum.
663
00:33:37,647 --> 00:33:41,200
Of course you're not.
You guys want to go to sleep?
664
00:33:41,301 --> 00:33:42,717
It's only 5:30.
665
00:33:42,819 --> 00:33:44,486
And we haven't had dinner.
666
00:33:44,587 --> 00:33:47,239
Hmm. OK.
667
00:33:47,340 --> 00:33:48,607
Room service!
668
00:33:48,708 --> 00:33:52,494
MAN: So you've never
been skateboarding?
669
00:33:52,595 --> 00:33:54,379
You've never
played video games?
670
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,198
Mom says they rot your brain.
671
00:33:56,299 --> 00:34:01,086
That's not true. I've been playing video
games my whole life, and look at me.
672
00:34:03,439 --> 00:34:05,891
Yeah, maybe she's got a point.
673
00:34:05,992 --> 00:34:08,343
You. You've never eaten bacon?
674
00:34:08,444 --> 00:34:10,246
What's bacon?
675
00:34:10,347 --> 00:34:13,298
Bacon is the juicy,
fatty part of the pig
676
00:34:13,399 --> 00:34:15,734
right adjacent to the rear.
677
00:34:15,835 --> 00:34:20,572
But delicious and tasty,
not how I just made it sound.
678
00:34:20,673 --> 00:34:24,059
And this is the first hamburger
you've ever eaten?
679
00:34:24,410 --> 00:34:27,462
- What's the verdict? What do you think?
- Life-changing.
680
00:34:27,697 --> 00:34:29,914
- Mom's gonna kill us.
- No, she isn't.
681
00:34:30,015 --> 00:34:32,201
First of all, she's never
gonna find out about this.
682
00:34:32,302 --> 00:34:35,771
And second of all, she used
to eat plenty of hamburgers
683
00:34:35,872 --> 00:34:38,240
when we were growing up
in this very room.
684
00:34:38,341 --> 00:34:40,241
BOTH:
She did?
685
00:34:40,626 --> 00:34:43,946
Looks like Bugsy's eaten a lot of
burgers in the last ten minutes.
686
00:34:45,277 --> 00:34:46,277
Wow!
687
00:34:46,301 --> 00:34:49,609
He keeps going like that, we
could make bacon out of Bugsy.
688
00:34:49,685 --> 00:34:50,836
(CHIRPS)
689
00:34:50,937 --> 00:34:53,272
He's kidding, Bugsy.
Take it easy.
690
00:34:53,373 --> 00:34:56,424
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- OK. Let's get you carnivores to bed.
691
00:34:56,559 --> 00:34:58,660
I got a, a new story
I want to lay on you.
692
00:34:58,761 --> 00:35:00,695
What do you think
of cowboys and Indians?
693
00:35:00,796 --> 00:35:03,649
Oh, yes, tonight's the night!
694
00:35:03,750 --> 00:35:06,117
I just like cowboys and Indians
'cause of the conflict.
695
00:35:06,218 --> 00:35:09,788
OK, once upon a time
in the Old West,
696
00:35:09,889 --> 00:35:12,091
before room service was
even invented...
697
00:35:12,192 --> 00:35:15,761
there was a farm hand
named Jeremiah Skeets.
698
00:35:15,862 --> 00:35:17,913
He was looking to get
ahead in the world,
699
00:35:18,215 --> 00:35:19,215
but was having a problem
700
00:35:19,332 --> 00:35:21,400
with his current mode
of transportation.
701
00:35:21,501 --> 00:35:24,520
(WHINNIES LIKE A SPLUTTERING ENGINE,
BACKFIRES)
702
00:35:24,704 --> 00:35:28,490
JEREMIAH: Uh, that was my horse.
That wasn't me, everybody.
703
00:35:29,792 --> 00:35:31,693
Someone once told Jeremiah
704
00:35:31,794 --> 00:35:34,162
that if he wanted
to be the best,
705
00:35:34,264 --> 00:35:36,748
he'd have to ride the best.
706
00:35:36,849 --> 00:35:39,318
You mind showing me
your finest horse?
707
00:35:43,206 --> 00:35:47,342
My ancestors believe
horse spirit
708
00:35:47,443 --> 00:35:52,631
come down from mountain
during time of fire, wind.
709
00:35:52,732 --> 00:35:57,002
Many brave warrior
walk trail of moon bear...
710
00:35:57,103 --> 00:36:01,289
OK. Look, I just want to see your
finest horse, not a whole thing there.
711
00:36:01,390 --> 00:36:04,476
- Sorry. I can do it.
- All right.
712
00:36:04,577 --> 00:36:07,779
Screaming Rooster,
bring out Ferrari.
713
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,331
Ferrari.
714
00:36:12,035 --> 00:36:13,852
Oh, my.
715
00:36:13,953 --> 00:36:16,771
Oh, my, oh, my!
716
00:36:16,872 --> 00:36:17,907
Look at that.
717
00:36:18,008 --> 00:36:20,108
- (WHINNIES LIKE A RACING ENGINE)
- Whoa!
718
00:36:20,209 --> 00:36:23,896
I would get automatic respect
riding such a beautiful animal,
719
00:36:23,997 --> 00:36:26,999
but I'm afraid that's just
a bit out of my price range.
720
00:36:27,099 --> 00:36:30,301
- Tell you what, white bread.
- (TEETH CLICK)
721
00:36:30,403 --> 00:36:33,304
I'll give you Ferrari...
722
00:36:33,856 --> 00:36:36,525
for free!
723
00:36:36,826 --> 00:36:39,478
Boo-yah!
The end. I love it.
724
00:36:39,579 --> 00:36:43,164
Brilliant story.
So he got the Ferrari for free.
725
00:36:43,265 --> 00:36:44,766
I love that. I love that.
726
00:36:44,867 --> 00:36:49,421
A guy getting a free horse?
That's not a good story.
727
00:36:50,639 --> 00:36:54,476
Where's the arc? There's no arc.
I've not learned anything.
728
00:36:54,577 --> 00:36:56,762
Also, you've got
a moral obligation to them.
729
00:36:56,863 --> 00:36:58,647
What are they gonna
walk away from that with?
730
00:36:59,032 --> 00:37:02,184
I didn't know we were doing
an After School Special.
731
00:37:02,285 --> 00:37:07,022
Why can't he do something a real gentleman
would do, like save a damsel in distress?
732
00:37:07,940 --> 00:37:10,275
Not a bad idea, munchkin.
733
00:37:10,376 --> 00:37:14,012
OK. So, uh...
let's continue.
734
00:37:14,113 --> 00:37:16,465
BOBBI: Jeremiah was
out for a ride when...
735
00:37:16,566 --> 00:37:18,100
- (GUNSHOT)
- (HORSE WHINNIES)
736
00:37:18,201 --> 00:37:19,801
WOMAN:
Oh, please, don't!
737
00:37:20,036 --> 00:37:23,973
- MAN: Give us that jewelry.
- You want my pearls? Help! Please!
738
00:37:24,074 --> 00:37:27,893
Yah! Yah! Yah!
Whoo!
739
00:37:29,562 --> 00:37:31,997
Oh, my necklace? Here, take it.
740
00:37:32,098 --> 00:37:34,132
- (MENACING CHATTER)
- Come on, boy!
741
00:37:34,233 --> 00:37:35,951
Here.
742
00:37:36,085 --> 00:37:38,220
What else you got, sweetie?
743
00:37:38,405 --> 00:37:40,839
Help! Help!
744
00:37:44,076 --> 00:37:46,094
JEREMIAH:
Leave the lady alone!
745
00:37:52,618 --> 00:37:54,703
Care for a lift, ma'am?
746
00:37:54,804 --> 00:37:56,338
- Yeah.
- Oh!
747
00:37:56,439 --> 00:38:00,475
- Nice horse.
- Oh, what, this old thing?
748
00:38:00,576 --> 00:38:03,795
Now, any of you gentlemen want to
give the nice lady her stuff back?
749
00:38:03,896 --> 00:38:05,480
- (MEN GRUMBLING)
- Not a chance, huh?
750
00:38:05,715 --> 00:38:08,199
- Because I beg to differ!
- (MEN SHOUTING)
751
00:38:08,501 --> 00:38:10,718
- My hero.
- I like that.
752
00:38:12,288 --> 00:38:15,073
SKEETER: So Jeremiah spirited
Miss Davenport away to safety,
753
00:38:15,174 --> 00:38:16,658
when she says...
754
00:38:16,759 --> 00:38:19,361
Shall we go drink champagne
in a nearby hot tub?
755
00:38:19,462 --> 00:38:21,447
(SQUEALING, GIGGLES)
756
00:38:21,548 --> 00:38:23,398
- Hot tub?
- Mmm.
757
00:38:23,499 --> 00:38:25,350
Uh, yeah. No.
758
00:38:25,451 --> 00:38:29,554
I was saying that because I wanted to
see if you two were paying attention.
759
00:38:31,207 --> 00:38:34,376
What happened was Jeremiah
dropped Miss Davenport off
760
00:38:34,643 --> 00:38:36,928
in the nearest town,
safe and sound.
761
00:38:37,029 --> 00:38:38,530
How ever can I thank you, sir?
762
00:38:38,798 --> 00:38:41,099
Ah, no thanks necessary, ma'am.
763
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:44,469
But I do insist on expressing
my gratitude in some manner.
764
00:38:45,020 --> 00:38:47,306
Fair enough. I'll take...
765
00:38:47,406 --> 00:38:50,809
- ...$100 million.
- (CASH REGISTER DINGS)
766
00:38:50,910 --> 00:38:53,529
The end. Let's hope it works.
767
00:38:53,630 --> 00:38:55,681
Very well written,
brilliantly constructed.
768
00:38:55,782 --> 00:38:59,083
Jeremiah wouldn't take money
for doing a good deed.
769
00:38:59,184 --> 00:39:01,787
Uh... I know Jeremiah
a lot better than you guys.
770
00:39:01,887 --> 00:39:04,489
And believe me, he'd be all over that.
He loves money.
771
00:39:04,590 --> 00:39:05,807
Mmm!
772
00:39:05,908 --> 00:39:08,410
I don't want that.
Go back, rewrite. Rewrite.
773
00:39:08,511 --> 00:39:10,061
Gentlemen don't get paid.
774
00:39:10,196 --> 00:39:12,631
Will you just...
Who's telling the story here?
775
00:39:12,732 --> 00:39:15,033
It should really end
more like this.
776
00:39:15,134 --> 00:39:17,936
Well, I must give you
some token of my appreciation.
777
00:39:18,037 --> 00:39:19,237
Oh, no.
778
00:39:19,338 --> 00:39:21,673
Perhaps... a kiss?
779
00:39:22,207 --> 00:39:23,658
Touchdown.
780
00:39:25,128 --> 00:39:27,162
PATRICK:
Then an angry dwarf kicks him.
781
00:39:27,263 --> 00:39:29,014
Ow!
782
00:39:30,149 --> 00:39:31,766
What the heck
did you do that for?
783
00:39:31,867 --> 00:39:33,685
Because I'm angry.
784
00:39:33,786 --> 00:39:38,290
- Go! Let's go!
- WOMAN: All right!
785
00:39:39,409 --> 00:39:40,609
I didn't do nothing to you!
786
00:39:40,710 --> 00:39:42,944
- The end.
- SKEETER: You know what?
787
00:39:43,179 --> 00:39:45,497
Laugh as much as you want.
I'll take a Ferrari
788
00:39:45,598 --> 00:39:47,532
and a kiss any day of the week.
789
00:39:47,633 --> 00:39:49,584
I'd just like
to kiss a Ferrari.
790
00:39:50,869 --> 00:39:53,855
- All right. Good night.
- Good night, Uncle Skeeter.
791
00:39:53,956 --> 00:39:55,690
Good night, home slice.
792
00:39:55,791 --> 00:39:57,976
Thanks for the stories.
793
00:39:58,244 --> 00:40:00,095
You came up with
all the good parts, Bobbi.
794
00:40:00,196 --> 00:40:02,080
Good night, y'all.
795
00:40:02,181 --> 00:40:03,898
You too there, Bugsy.
796
00:40:03,999 --> 00:40:06,685
(TWITTERING)
797
00:40:06,786 --> 00:40:10,138
And them braids look fantastic.
They've taken years off you.
798
00:40:10,372 --> 00:40:12,774
You mind sleeping over?
I'm gonna duck out a few hours.
799
00:40:13,075 --> 00:40:15,477
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Mmm. By the way, um,
800
00:40:15,578 --> 00:40:17,712
I am, uh,
legally obliged to tell you
801
00:40:17,814 --> 00:40:21,582
that I suffer from...
sleep panic disorder.
802
00:40:21,818 --> 00:40:24,603
OK, what's, uh,
sleep panic disorder?
803
00:40:24,704 --> 00:40:27,155
Believe me, you don't
want to know.
804
00:40:36,916 --> 00:40:40,985
What am I thinking? Why would
anyone give me a free Ferrari?
805
00:40:41,086 --> 00:40:43,405
I must be losing my mind.
806
00:40:45,107 --> 00:40:47,809
Much power of the horse
underneath that hood.
807
00:40:53,666 --> 00:40:54,966
Hello.
808
00:40:57,036 --> 00:40:59,203
Are you the guy
I'm supposed to see?
809
00:41:01,590 --> 00:41:03,958
I'm here, aren't I?
810
00:41:05,711 --> 00:41:10,949
So... am I about to get
a cherry red Ferrari?
811
00:41:13,652 --> 00:41:15,120
I don't see why not.
812
00:41:21,777 --> 00:41:27,098
For... free?
813
00:41:27,767 --> 00:41:33,154
Sounds good to... me!
814
00:41:34,139 --> 00:41:36,908
What do I do now?
Eat a gumball or something?
815
00:41:38,060 --> 00:41:39,294
Yes.
816
00:41:43,232 --> 00:41:45,634
- Fell out of the sky, right?
- Yeah.
817
00:41:45,735 --> 00:41:46,885
Shh!
818
00:41:46,986 --> 00:41:48,904
Oh! Shh.
819
00:41:49,005 --> 00:41:50,505
I won't tell nobody.
820
00:41:52,875 --> 00:41:56,344
Now, close your eyes
and count to three.
821
00:41:56,346 --> 00:41:58,029
- OK.
- Then it's all gonna happen.
822
00:41:58,130 --> 00:41:59,547
- No.
- Yeah.
823
00:42:00,099 --> 00:42:03,235
- One, two...
- Yeah.
824
00:42:03,569 --> 00:42:04,652
Three.
825
00:42:04,753 --> 00:42:06,921
Ferrari!
826
00:42:07,022 --> 00:42:10,241
Hey! My wallet!
827
00:42:10,342 --> 00:42:11,860
Not anymore!
828
00:42:11,961 --> 00:42:13,461
(LOUD MUSIC)
829
00:42:13,562 --> 00:42:15,380
(PAPARAZZI SHOUTING)
830
00:42:15,481 --> 00:42:18,850
Excuse me.
Hi, boys.
831
00:42:21,971 --> 00:42:23,955
OK, thank you.
832
00:42:28,511 --> 00:42:31,296
Thanks, guys. Sorry.
I'm just trying to find my car.
833
00:42:31,597 --> 00:42:32,797
(ERIC CARMEN "ALL BY MYSELF")
834
00:42:32,849 --> 00:42:35,784
Good thing my wallet
only had three dollars in it.
835
00:42:35,885 --> 00:42:38,453
And my Derek Jeter
baseball card!
836
00:42:38,688 --> 00:42:42,006
- (ALL SHOUTING)
- Guys, guys, stop, please.
837
00:42:42,108 --> 00:42:43,241
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
838
00:42:43,342 --> 00:42:45,627
VIOLET: You've had enough, now.
Thank you.
839
00:42:45,728 --> 00:42:47,094
Stop!
840
00:42:51,434 --> 00:42:53,284
(TIRES SCREECH)
841
00:42:54,921 --> 00:42:56,161
- (ALL SHOUTING)
- Come on, man!
842
00:42:56,172 --> 00:42:58,890
- Care for a lift, ma'am?
- Skeeter?
843
00:42:58,991 --> 00:43:01,543
- Skeeter Bronson?
- Yes, ma'am.
844
00:43:03,595 --> 00:43:04,963
What do you say you boys
845
00:43:05,064 --> 00:43:07,765
give the pretty lady back
the pictures you took?
846
00:43:07,900 --> 00:43:09,351
(ALL GRUMBLING)
847
00:43:09,452 --> 00:43:12,770
Sure about that, now?
Because I beg to differ.
848
00:43:14,557 --> 00:43:15,673
Guy's got a gun!
849
00:43:18,061 --> 00:43:20,612
I'm just happy they
didn't make me use this thing.
850
00:43:20,713 --> 00:43:23,348
(DRILL WHIRRS)
851
00:43:24,567 --> 00:43:27,169
- My hero.
- Really?
852
00:43:27,270 --> 00:43:29,204
VIOLET: That was
brilliant, Skeeter.
853
00:43:29,305 --> 00:43:32,390
(STAMMERS) I don't know what happened.
Something came over me.
854
00:43:32,492 --> 00:43:34,126
It felt good.
It felt really good.
855
00:43:34,227 --> 00:43:35,877
How am I ever
going to thank you?
856
00:43:35,978 --> 00:43:37,729
Hmm.
857
00:43:37,830 --> 00:43:40,365
No thanks is necessary, ma'am?
858
00:43:40,466 --> 00:43:44,236
Oh, am I in the presence
of a gentleman?
859
00:43:44,337 --> 00:43:46,504
At your service, ma'am.
860
00:43:46,605 --> 00:43:50,192
Well, I must show
my appreciation in some form.
861
00:43:53,946 --> 00:43:55,463
- (GRUNTS)
- Ow!
862
00:43:55,564 --> 00:43:58,583
Consider yourself big
people-bashed, sucker.
863
00:43:58,684 --> 00:44:00,118
I knew you were gonna show up.
864
00:44:00,219 --> 00:44:03,305
Get in the Gremlin, Jimmy,
before Sasquatch calls the cops.
865
00:44:03,406 --> 00:44:05,857
Yeah, 'cause that's
how we do what we do. Right?
866
00:44:05,958 --> 00:44:07,459
That's what you get, buddy.
867
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:11,129
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Let's go! Yeah!
868
00:44:11,230 --> 00:44:13,364
Pull me in. Let's get
out of here. Pull me in!
869
00:44:13,465 --> 00:44:17,135
- (ALL CHATTERING)
- Big people stink!
870
00:44:17,486 --> 00:44:20,188
OK, well, you don't
see that every day.
871
00:44:20,289 --> 00:44:25,776
Indeed. And on that strange
note, I bid you good night.
872
00:44:25,878 --> 00:44:28,847
- Yes, yes.
- (CAR ALARM CHIRPS)
873
00:44:28,948 --> 00:44:32,500
Oh! Oh!
874
00:44:32,601 --> 00:44:35,102
All right, so that's
how I'm getting it.
875
00:44:35,203 --> 00:44:38,389
- Getting what?
- This is just... I shouldn't.
876
00:44:38,490 --> 00:44:41,425
I, I couldn't. You know what?
I can. I'm gonna take it.
877
00:44:41,526 --> 00:44:43,244
What are you talking about?
878
00:44:43,345 --> 00:44:45,563
I'm talking about
a very generous girl
879
00:44:45,664 --> 00:44:49,667
who wants to give her rescuer
a cherry red Ferrari...
880
00:44:49,768 --> 00:44:51,936
for free!
881
00:44:52,671 --> 00:44:54,239
This is sick!
882
00:44:54,340 --> 00:44:58,075
Well, uh, good luck with that.
I'm just going to go.
883
00:44:58,176 --> 00:44:59,176
What do you mean?
884
00:44:59,194 --> 00:45:01,213
Do you have another one
at your house?
885
00:45:01,314 --> 00:45:03,764
Am I, am I supposed
to follow you or something?
886
00:45:03,865 --> 00:45:06,067
So seriously, no, no Ferrari?
887
00:45:09,455 --> 00:45:12,224
Where's the $100 million,
at least?!
888
00:45:12,742 --> 00:45:14,226
Boo!
889
00:45:16,996 --> 00:45:19,064
TV: Hey, hey, hey!
Get your own campaign vehicle.
890
00:45:19,165 --> 00:45:21,032
- (KNOCKING)
- Yeah.
891
00:45:21,133 --> 00:45:23,534
- Hi.
- BOTH: Hey, Aunt Jill.
892
00:45:23,953 --> 00:45:26,037
Hey, guys.
How did last night go?
893
00:45:26,138 --> 00:45:29,357
An angry dwarf kicked me in the leg,
and I didn't get a free Ferrari.
894
00:45:29,458 --> 00:45:30,458
So there you go.
895
00:45:30,726 --> 00:45:32,443
Oh. How sad.
896
00:45:32,544 --> 00:45:35,997
- He's talking about our bedtime story.
- Oh.
897
00:45:36,098 --> 00:45:39,417
Uncle Skeeter said Jeremiah would
get a new horse and a kiss,
898
00:45:39,518 --> 00:45:41,753
but I said the dwarf
would kick him.
899
00:45:43,422 --> 00:45:45,123
You said it.
900
00:45:45,224 --> 00:45:47,125
Maybe that's how it works.
901
00:45:47,226 --> 00:45:48,859
The kids control the stories.
902
00:45:48,961 --> 00:45:50,328
(CHIMES RING)
903
00:45:50,429 --> 00:45:53,631
And there are the wind chimes.
You know what that means.
904
00:45:53,732 --> 00:45:54,749
What what means?
905
00:45:54,850 --> 00:45:56,701
Huh?
906
00:45:56,802 --> 00:45:59,170
Nothing.
Don't worry about it.
907
00:45:59,272 --> 00:46:00,638
I won't.
908
00:46:01,824 --> 00:46:05,560
OK, guys. Um,
what is Bugsy doing?
909
00:46:05,661 --> 00:46:08,279
(PANTING)
910
00:46:08,380 --> 00:46:12,016
Working off the hamburgers
he ate last night.
911
00:46:12,117 --> 00:46:15,119
Yes, I gave Bugsy
some hamburgers,
912
00:46:15,220 --> 00:46:18,756
but I gave the children
that wheat germ stuff
913
00:46:18,857 --> 00:46:20,692
because that's what they love.
914
00:46:20,793 --> 00:46:23,978
I guess it's, uh, Bugsy
watching the TV then too?
915
00:46:24,079 --> 00:46:26,698
Yeah, I flipped that on
and, look, he's glued to it.
916
00:46:26,799 --> 00:46:28,950
(MAKES GIGGLING SOUNDS)
917
00:46:29,051 --> 00:46:30,468
(SCREAMING)
918
00:46:30,569 --> 00:46:32,370
I'm innocent!
919
00:46:33,472 --> 00:46:34,773
What was that?
920
00:46:34,874 --> 00:46:38,042
Uh... that was the sleep
panic disorder, I believe.
921
00:46:38,210 --> 00:46:41,212
Why don't we, uh, get out of
here before the next attack.
922
00:46:41,513 --> 00:46:43,147
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Give your uncle a kiss.
923
00:46:43,248 --> 00:46:45,767
I'm a relative, I deserve it.
Right there.
924
00:46:45,868 --> 00:46:47,485
Oh, that felt nice.
925
00:46:47,586 --> 00:46:49,521
How about one more for the road?
926
00:46:49,622 --> 00:46:53,241
- No.
- Come on, baby!
927
00:46:53,342 --> 00:46:55,961
Don't worry,
we'll be back tonight.
928
00:46:56,062 --> 00:46:57,429
Yeah, no, I'm not worried.
929
00:46:57,529 --> 00:46:59,831
You're coming back,
we got a big story tonight!
930
00:46:59,932 --> 00:47:03,534
About some hotel theme ideas!
Yeah!
931
00:47:03,635 --> 00:47:06,571
- Maybe we won't come back.
- What?
932
00:47:06,672 --> 00:47:08,807
- Skeeter?
- Sir Butt-Kiss. Sir... Kendall.
933
00:47:08,908 --> 00:47:13,678
I understand that you feel a need to
prepare for our little... showdown.
934
00:47:13,879 --> 00:47:15,579
- Yeah.
- That does not excuse you
935
00:47:15,714 --> 00:47:17,566
from maintenance
responsibilities.
936
00:47:17,667 --> 00:47:19,427
- Oh, no. Check.
- Lights are out in the spa.
937
00:47:19,468 --> 00:47:21,576
The south service
elevator is running slow.
938
00:47:21,602 --> 00:47:22,128
Check.
939
00:47:22,204 --> 00:47:24,171
Let me try that cheesecake.
940
00:47:25,257 --> 00:47:27,475
Oh, another thing.
941
00:47:27,576 --> 00:47:31,880
I heard about your big hero act
with my girlfriend last night.
942
00:47:31,981 --> 00:47:35,116
- This paparazzi was...
- I know what it is you're trying to do,
943
00:47:35,217 --> 00:47:36,684
and it's not gonna work.
944
00:47:36,785 --> 00:47:38,285
You have to find another way
945
00:47:38,386 --> 00:47:41,038
to cozy up to the old man
because I'm here to tell you
946
00:47:41,139 --> 00:47:45,760
Violet Nottingham is not gonna
date a gum-scraping handyman.
947
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:49,581
Hey, Kendall.
948
00:47:51,133 --> 00:47:54,535
Two things. First off,
you got something right there.
949
00:47:54,670 --> 00:47:58,789
Yeah, now, use your hands.
That's disturbing to see.
950
00:47:59,025 --> 00:48:02,243
Good. Secondly, when I get
the job at the new hotel,
951
00:48:02,344 --> 00:48:07,031
I was actually considering keeping
you on, so watch your tone with me.
952
00:48:08,033 --> 00:48:11,703
Your brief little trip
to the land of make-believe
953
00:48:11,804 --> 00:48:13,971
is just about over,
my friend. OK?
954
00:48:14,072 --> 00:48:17,342
We all know your failed father
ran this hotel into the ground,
955
00:48:17,442 --> 00:48:19,995
and thankfully, you
will not get the chance to make
956
00:48:20,096 --> 00:48:22,146
the same mistake
all over again.
957
00:48:24,183 --> 00:48:25,883
May want to pick that up.
958
00:48:31,523 --> 00:48:32,641
(PHONE RINGS)
959
00:48:32,742 --> 00:48:34,442
- It's Duncan.
- ASPEN: Lover, hello.
960
00:48:34,543 --> 00:48:36,111
I'm looking for the hotel site.
961
00:48:36,211 --> 00:48:38,246
I gave you the address,
macho bunny.
962
00:48:38,347 --> 00:48:41,016
The address you gave me is no good.
There's a school here.
963
00:48:41,117 --> 00:48:43,752
- Oh, what school?
- Webster Elementary School.
964
00:48:43,853 --> 00:48:46,587
- Oh, then you're in the right place.
- Is that so?
965
00:48:46,689 --> 00:48:49,640
- This school is being shut down.
- Uh-huh.
966
00:48:49,742 --> 00:48:52,593
The old man pulled a few strings
at the board of education.
967
00:48:52,595 --> 00:48:55,363
- Really?
- We start demolition immediately.
968
00:48:55,464 --> 00:48:57,498
That is very exciting news.
969
00:48:57,599 --> 00:49:00,068
Oh, Pinky.
(GROWLS, BARKS)
970
00:49:04,723 --> 00:49:07,342
- (PHONE RINGS)
- SKEETER: Hello!
971
00:49:07,443 --> 00:49:09,293
Skeeter?
Hey, it's Wendy.
972
00:49:09,394 --> 00:49:12,430
- Hey, sissy.
- Hey. How's it going?
973
00:49:12,531 --> 00:49:15,100
- Are the kids OK?
- Oh, yeah. We're having a blast.
974
00:49:15,201 --> 00:49:16,755
That was impressive, Bobbi,
975
00:49:16,781 --> 00:49:20,062
but Uncle Skeeter can jump
over the couch the long way.
976
00:49:20,139 --> 00:49:23,307
- Skeeter, can I talk to them?
- No, I'm taking them camping.
977
00:49:23,408 --> 00:49:25,075
- No.
- Have fun in Arizona. Bye!
978
00:49:25,177 --> 00:49:28,312
Camping? No, Skeeter,
they could get poison ivy!
979
00:49:28,413 --> 00:49:31,099
- SKEETER: Let's go. Quietly.
- PATRICK: Where are we going?
980
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:33,041
- Someplace special, fools.
- BUGSY: Whoo-hoo!
981
00:49:33,102 --> 00:49:36,804
Now march, march,
march, march...
982
00:49:36,905 --> 00:49:38,673
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ but it's been said ♪
983
00:49:38,774 --> 00:49:40,542
♪ Bugsy's eyes ♪
♪ pop out of his head ♪
984
00:49:40,642 --> 00:49:42,710
- March, march, march...
- (KIDS GIGGLING)
985
00:49:42,811 --> 00:49:45,246
- BUGSY: Whoo-hoo!
- SKEETER: March, let's go.
986
00:49:47,012 --> 00:49:48,012
KIDS: Whoa!
Cool!
987
00:49:48,036 --> 00:49:50,543
We're going to have
ourselves a camp-out.
988
00:49:50,619 --> 00:49:53,605
JILL: You guys, look what he's done!
Isn't this cool?
989
00:49:53,706 --> 00:49:56,173
- See? See how nice I am?
- Yeah.
990
00:49:56,342 --> 00:49:58,276
Whoa, OK, just be careful
around the fire.
991
00:49:58,377 --> 00:50:02,213
Hey, Jill. Shh.
Don't want everyone to hear we're here.
992
00:50:02,314 --> 00:50:04,232
(ALL CHATTERING)
993
00:50:04,333 --> 00:50:08,602
I heard about marshmallows.
Saw them in magazines.
994
00:50:08,703 --> 00:50:11,589
I never imagined they
would be this good.
995
00:50:11,690 --> 00:50:14,625
Let's just hope your mother
doesn't find out I gave you any.
996
00:50:14,893 --> 00:50:17,511
- I won't tell her.
- I'm not talking about you.
997
00:50:17,612 --> 00:50:18,746
She's the weak link.
998
00:50:19,014 --> 00:50:21,182
I think I can
let this one slide.
999
00:50:21,283 --> 00:50:24,302
Ahh! The mermaid's being cool.
Look at that.
1000
00:50:24,603 --> 00:50:26,587
- The what?
- The nothing.
1001
00:50:28,858 --> 00:50:32,260
You know, when we were younger and
your mom and I were out on the roof,
1002
00:50:32,527 --> 00:50:34,596
my dad would always tell us
to look at the stars
1003
00:50:34,696 --> 00:50:38,633
and see if you could make something
out of them. All right, like, uh...
1004
00:50:38,734 --> 00:50:41,402
Right over there. Right over there.
Look, look.
1005
00:50:41,503 --> 00:50:43,254
To me, that looks like a camel.
1006
00:50:43,355 --> 00:50:45,556
You see the humps? Huh?
The tongue hanging out?
1007
00:50:45,657 --> 00:50:46,975
Oh, yeah. I see that.
1008
00:50:47,076 --> 00:50:48,876
Hey, look over there!
It's a pyramid.
1009
00:50:48,977 --> 00:50:51,379
SKEETER: Yeah!
Hey, good one, Patrick.
1010
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,566
Look, right next to the moon.
Right, right beside it.
1011
00:50:54,667 --> 00:50:56,451
It looks exactly like Bugsy.
1012
00:50:56,552 --> 00:50:58,869
- SKEETER: Oh, my God!
- (ALL LAUGHING)
1013
00:50:59,054 --> 00:51:01,990
Don't worry, Bugsy.
Your eyes are still bigger.
1014
00:51:02,091 --> 00:51:06,077
- (CHITTERS)
- (JILL LAUGHS)
1015
00:51:06,178 --> 00:51:08,129
Uncle Skeeter?
1016
00:51:08,230 --> 00:51:09,697
Yes, good-looking.
1017
00:51:10,616 --> 00:51:13,501
Do you think my father
will come back?
1018
00:51:16,154 --> 00:51:20,307
Um...
Well, that's a tough one.
1019
00:51:22,711 --> 00:51:27,164
He must be going through
some... mental malfunction
1020
00:51:27,265 --> 00:51:32,102
to not want to be with you two
guys every second of the day.
1021
00:51:32,203 --> 00:51:36,974
But, uh, I do know this.
1022
00:51:37,075 --> 00:51:39,326
You're always going
to have your mother.
1023
00:51:39,427 --> 00:51:42,763
You're always gonna have
this girl to hang out with.
1024
00:51:42,864 --> 00:51:46,434
And me, I ain't
ever going anywhere.
1025
00:51:47,569 --> 00:51:49,003
OK?
1026
00:51:49,104 --> 00:51:53,324
I'm like the stink on your feet.
I'll always be around.
1027
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:01,299
OK. You guys made me late.
I hope you're happy.
1028
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,569
Well, thank you.
Have fun at night school.
1029
00:52:05,871 --> 00:52:07,338
See you tomorrow.
1030
00:52:07,505 --> 00:52:09,774
All right, we got rid of her,
so let's get to business.
1031
00:52:09,874 --> 00:52:11,875
Put the s'mores down.
Story time.
1032
00:52:11,976 --> 00:52:16,881
All right, guys. Tonight's
story's gonna be extra special.
1033
00:52:16,982 --> 00:52:18,716
It's called...
1034
00:52:18,817 --> 00:52:23,621
The Great Hotel Idea Story.
1035
00:52:23,722 --> 00:52:24,722
Yeah!
1036
00:52:24,756 --> 00:52:26,924
- What?
- Boring.
1037
00:52:27,025 --> 00:52:28,943
Come on, guys,
I really need you to do this.
1038
00:52:29,044 --> 00:52:31,161
It's gonna help
my life a lot. Please?
1039
00:52:32,230 --> 00:52:33,431
All right, you know what?
1040
00:52:33,532 --> 00:52:35,666
We still got one more night.
Let's have a fun story.
1041
00:52:35,951 --> 00:52:38,269
How about some
Evel Knievel stuff?
1042
00:52:38,370 --> 00:52:41,805
Racing, jumping, flying...
1043
00:52:41,906 --> 00:52:44,224
Or maybe something
like romantic?
1044
00:52:44,325 --> 00:52:46,093
(KISSING SOUNDS, CHITTERS)
1045
00:52:46,194 --> 00:52:47,761
I have a good idea.
1046
00:52:47,862 --> 00:52:50,932
Let's combine the action
and the romance
1047
00:52:51,033 --> 00:52:53,500
and make a romaction story.
1048
00:52:53,601 --> 00:52:55,770
- BOTH: Yeah.
- SKEETER: Let us begin.
1049
00:52:55,871 --> 00:52:59,373
The greatest of all the heroes
in ancient Greece
1050
00:52:59,474 --> 00:53:02,143
was, of course, Skeetacus.
1051
00:53:03,445 --> 00:53:05,346
He was truly amazing
1052
00:53:05,447 --> 00:53:10,051
yet totally underrated
and had been ignored for years.
1053
00:53:10,152 --> 00:53:16,173
Finally Skeetacus had his chance to
show his skills in the grand arena.
1054
00:53:17,442 --> 00:53:20,327
If he could impress the
daughter of the emperor,
1055
00:53:20,428 --> 00:53:23,213
he knew he would
one day rule the land.
1056
00:53:23,314 --> 00:53:26,333
- (HORSE WHINNIES)
- (CROWD CHEERING)
1057
00:53:26,434 --> 00:53:28,936
- Skeetacus, Skeetacus!
- Go on, Skeetacus!
1058
00:53:29,037 --> 00:53:32,122
That's pretty fancy
chariot work.
1059
00:53:32,223 --> 00:53:33,524
For a peasant.
1060
00:53:33,625 --> 00:53:36,361
♪ I see London, I see France ♪
1061
00:53:36,462 --> 00:53:38,745
♪ I see my golden underpants ♪
1062
00:53:38,847 --> 00:53:40,898
Whoo!
1063
00:53:49,692 --> 00:53:52,460
Oh, wh...
what is he doing?
1064
00:53:53,545 --> 00:53:54,811
Whoa!
1065
00:53:55,830 --> 00:53:58,182
(WHINNYING)
1066
00:53:59,250 --> 00:54:00,968
SKEETER:
Bring on the elephants!
1067
00:54:04,273 --> 00:54:05,723
- Whoa.
- Ooh.
1068
00:54:06,959 --> 00:54:08,676
All right.
1069
00:54:08,777 --> 00:54:10,027
SKEETER:
You know how Hercules
1070
00:54:10,128 --> 00:54:12,062
supposedly founded
the Olympics?
1071
00:54:12,163 --> 00:54:14,949
(TRUMPETING)
1072
00:54:15,367 --> 00:54:16,684
(TWITTERS)
1073
00:54:16,852 --> 00:54:21,104
Well, Skeetacus invented
the X Games.
1074
00:54:21,205 --> 00:54:23,057
He's never gonna make it!
1075
00:54:28,647 --> 00:54:31,115
- (SHOUTING)
- (CROWD GASPING)
1076
00:54:36,021 --> 00:54:37,705
Now that's first class.
1077
00:54:38,940 --> 00:54:40,207
Hey!
1078
00:54:40,308 --> 00:54:42,193
- Bravo!
- Wow.
1079
00:54:43,945 --> 00:54:46,730
Can you dig it?
1080
00:54:46,831 --> 00:54:49,083
(CROWD CHANTS)
Skeetacus!
1081
00:54:49,184 --> 00:54:50,934
How we doing so far, huh?
1082
00:54:51,035 --> 00:54:54,972
- This is the best story yet.
- Can we get to the romance now?
1083
00:54:55,073 --> 00:54:56,757
SKEETER: Well, shorty,
you tell me?
1084
00:54:56,858 --> 00:54:59,176
Does Skeetacus get
the girl he was after?
1085
00:54:59,277 --> 00:55:03,414
BOBBI: In these stories, the hero always
gets the fairest maiden in the land.
1086
00:55:03,515 --> 00:55:05,983
Yes! You said it!
OK, so it's gonna happen!
1087
00:55:06,368 --> 00:55:09,253
Uh, right. So, what? They're thirsty?
They go off for drinks?
1088
00:55:09,354 --> 00:55:11,722
A little wine
and cheese action? Yes?
1089
00:55:11,990 --> 00:55:16,710
BOBBI: Yeah, they can go to an old
tavern. And guess who's there?
1090
00:55:16,811 --> 00:55:18,795
Led Zeppelin.
Say Led Zeppelin, please.
1091
00:55:18,896 --> 00:55:22,883
No. All the girls that were
mean to Skeetacus growing up.
1092
00:55:22,984 --> 00:55:25,102
What? Nobody was mean
to Skeetacus growing up.
1093
00:55:25,236 --> 00:55:27,271
He was like the coolest
guy in school.
1094
00:55:27,372 --> 00:55:29,206
That's not what Mom said.
1095
00:55:29,307 --> 00:55:31,125
All right, everybody was
mean to Skeetacus.
1096
00:55:31,226 --> 00:55:34,144
He had problems.
All right, tell your story.
1097
00:55:34,245 --> 00:55:35,562
Oh, my God...
1098
00:55:35,663 --> 00:55:36,580
BOBBI:
They see he's now with
1099
00:55:36,765 --> 00:55:38,799
the fairest maiden
in all the land,
1100
00:55:38,900 --> 00:55:41,869
and they are really jealous.
1101
00:55:42,071 --> 00:55:44,171
PATRICK: So jealous they
don't know what to do.
1102
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:46,957
They just start nervously
doing the hokey-pokey.
1103
00:55:47,058 --> 00:55:49,110
ALL:
♪ Put your right hand in ♪
1104
00:55:49,211 --> 00:55:50,978
♪ You put your right hand out ♪
1105
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:52,746
♪ You put your right hand in ♪
1106
00:55:52,847 --> 00:55:55,032
♪ And you shake it all about ♪
1107
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:57,635
OK.
1108
00:55:57,736 --> 00:55:59,603
BOBBI:
So then,
1109
00:55:59,704 --> 00:56:02,406
Skeetacus takes his date
out to the beach.
1110
00:56:02,574 --> 00:56:05,859
PATRICK: All of a sudden,
a big hairy guy
1111
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,996
washes up onshore, passed out.
1112
00:56:09,097 --> 00:56:10,849
SKEETER: Why a hairy guy?
I don't get it.
1113
00:56:10,875 --> 00:56:11,974
PATRICK:
Just 'cause.
1114
00:56:12,033 --> 00:56:15,803
He had something stuck in his
throat, and he wasn't breathing.
1115
00:56:19,191 --> 00:56:22,960
- Thanks.
- He's OK.
1116
00:56:23,061 --> 00:56:25,879
And then it starts pouring,
so they run into a magical cave.
1117
00:56:26,115 --> 00:56:29,099
- Caves are nice.
- And Abe Lincoln's there.
1118
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:31,335
Abe Lincoln?
What, is this a joke to you?
1119
00:56:31,386 --> 00:56:34,288
What the heck's the matter
with you? Oh, I'm sorry.
1120
00:56:34,389 --> 00:56:35,624
I, I didn't mean to yell.
1121
00:56:35,650 --> 00:56:38,267
The Abe Lincoln thing,
that's, that's a good idea.
1122
00:56:38,343 --> 00:56:42,029
It's just that, uh...
Does Skeetacus get a kiss?
1123
00:56:42,130 --> 00:56:45,532
Don't you think he should?
It's... been a long time for him.
1124
00:56:45,633 --> 00:56:50,821
His lips are very dry
from not using them.
1125
00:56:51,006 --> 00:56:52,790
- Bugsy, you with me?
- (GROANS)
1126
00:56:55,727 --> 00:56:57,060
We'll see.
1127
00:56:57,161 --> 00:56:59,730
- VIOLET: Hello?
- Mmm.
1128
00:56:59,831 --> 00:57:02,733
Hey, is this the fairest
maiden in the land?
1129
00:57:02,834 --> 00:57:04,435
Mr. Skeeter Bronson,
is that you?
1130
00:57:04,536 --> 00:57:07,939
Yes, it is. Sorry about that
Ferrari confusion the other night.
1131
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:11,442
I'm here at the beach right now and I
had a hunch you might be here too.
1132
00:57:11,543 --> 00:57:13,411
What do you say
we get a little lunchsky?
1133
00:57:13,512 --> 00:57:15,078
That sounds so delightful.
1134
00:57:15,179 --> 00:57:18,565
But I can't. I'm afraid I'm
on my way to Vegas for the day.
1135
00:57:19,301 --> 00:57:20,384
Vegas?
1136
00:57:20,485 --> 00:57:23,086
Uh, no one talked about Vegas.
1137
00:57:23,187 --> 00:57:25,289
Don't tell Kendall.
He thinks I'm in the library.
1138
00:57:25,390 --> 00:57:27,557
Yeah, no. But, but,
uh, princess,
1139
00:57:27,659 --> 00:57:30,193
I, I really thought we
were gonna hang out today.
1140
00:57:30,294 --> 00:57:32,997
Oh, well. I will see you
at Daddy's birthday party.
1141
00:57:32,999 --> 00:57:34,081
Bye, Skeeter.
1142
00:57:35,083 --> 00:57:36,950
Hmm.
1143
00:57:37,051 --> 00:57:39,737
So our date's gonna be tomorrow?
I can live with that.
1144
00:57:39,838 --> 00:57:42,723
- Hey! Look out! Look out!
- (BOTH SHOUTING)
1145
00:57:42,941 --> 00:57:47,278
- (SKEETER GROANS)
- Sorry. Are you OK? Hey! I'm so sorry!
1146
00:57:47,378 --> 00:57:50,815
What is it about the cushion
of protection you don't like?
1147
00:57:50,916 --> 00:57:53,568
Aren't you supposed
to be in school?
1148
00:57:53,669 --> 00:57:55,285
I'm supposed to be
looking for a job now,
1149
00:57:55,386 --> 00:57:58,689
but for some reason I felt like
coming to the beach today.
1150
00:57:58,790 --> 00:57:59,957
Huh.
1151
00:58:00,058 --> 00:58:01,258
Um, are you hungry?
1152
00:58:01,359 --> 00:58:04,695
Yes, I'm always hungry
when I'm in pain.
1153
00:58:04,796 --> 00:58:06,480
Good. Because I'm buying.
1154
00:58:06,748 --> 00:58:09,116
I'll let you buy me lunch.
Somebody stole my wallet,
1155
00:58:09,217 --> 00:58:12,686
- so how was I gonna pay?
- Of course you got your wallet stolen.
1156
00:58:12,787 --> 00:58:16,223
- I don't know what that means.
- You. It's always something with you.
1157
00:58:16,324 --> 00:58:18,025
- Huh?
- You're wearing my hat.
1158
00:58:18,126 --> 00:58:20,494
- Gonna wear that all day?
- I'm not wearing nobody's hat.
1159
00:58:20,595 --> 00:58:23,497
- I'm wearing your hat! Oh!
- I'll take it back. Thanks.
1160
00:58:23,598 --> 00:58:26,016
(CHATTERING)
1161
00:58:29,871 --> 00:58:31,688
This is perfect
for your free lunch.
1162
00:58:31,789 --> 00:58:34,758
Oh, my gosh. You guys,
you guys, you guys. Over there.
1163
00:58:35,059 --> 00:58:36,693
Is that...
is that Skeeter Bronson?
1164
00:58:36,794 --> 00:58:38,229
- Stop it.
- Oh, my God.
1165
00:58:38,530 --> 00:58:40,814
- Oh, my God.
- Skeeter.
1166
00:58:40,915 --> 00:58:43,066
Hey! Do you remember me?
1167
00:58:43,167 --> 00:58:45,986
It's Donna Hynde
from high school.
1168
00:58:46,087 --> 00:58:47,755
Yeah, I do.
1169
00:58:47,856 --> 00:58:51,459
Thought I was going to run into
you shortly. And here you are.
1170
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:54,762
Yeah. Wow, this is so...
weird. Uh...
1171
00:58:54,863 --> 00:58:57,164
We were just planning
our high school reunion.
1172
00:58:57,432 --> 00:59:00,667
We were totally just talking
about you. It's so weird.
1173
00:59:00,768 --> 00:59:02,937
I was just talking
about you guys too.
1174
00:59:03,038 --> 00:59:04,171
Sure, he was.
1175
00:59:04,473 --> 00:59:06,991
Mind pretending to be
my girlfriend for a second?
1176
00:59:07,091 --> 00:59:08,859
Yeah, I don't feel
comfortable doing that.
1177
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:11,629
I'll, uh, convert
my truck to biodiesel.
1178
00:59:13,197 --> 00:59:14,732
- OK, I'll do it.
- Ding-dong.
1179
00:59:14,833 --> 00:59:18,135
Uh, this is my girlfriend,
guys. This is Jill.
1180
00:59:18,236 --> 00:59:19,936
Hello.
1181
00:59:20,037 --> 00:59:21,656
She's your girlfriend?
1182
00:59:21,757 --> 00:59:23,006
Yeah. Yeah.
1183
00:59:23,108 --> 00:59:24,608
Yes, I am.
1184
00:59:24,709 --> 00:59:26,276
- Right?
- Yup.
1185
00:59:26,377 --> 00:59:28,411
She thinks I'm...
1186
00:59:28,512 --> 00:59:31,648
You want me to...
Oh. Uh... romantic.
1187
00:59:31,749 --> 00:59:33,750
She likes how
romantic I can be.
1188
00:59:33,851 --> 00:59:37,004
And, uh, "great kisser,"
she likes to say.
1189
00:59:37,105 --> 00:59:40,157
Oh, yeah. That's...
a little too much.
1190
00:59:40,258 --> 00:59:43,143
- Oh. Sorry.
- Wow, you are really pretty.
1191
00:59:43,378 --> 00:59:45,579
- I mean, she's all right.
- Thanks.
1192
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:48,815
I've seen hotter,
but she's pretty cool.
1193
00:59:48,916 --> 00:59:49,967
So super skinny.
1194
00:59:50,068 --> 00:59:54,054
Skinnier than you.
But... Yeah.
1195
00:59:55,189 --> 00:59:56,357
Whatever.
1196
00:59:56,458 --> 00:59:58,675
I feel really awful
saying this out loud.
1197
00:59:58,776 --> 01:00:02,095
We were really terrible to
Skeeter in high school.
1198
01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:03,881
Awful. So mean.
1199
01:00:03,982 --> 01:00:05,065
My Skeeter?
1200
01:00:05,166 --> 01:00:07,534
- They were.
- You had a hard time in high school?
1201
01:00:07,635 --> 01:00:11,571
Look at you now.
You turned out pretty... cute.
1202
01:00:11,672 --> 01:00:13,040
- GIRLS: Yeah!
- You know...
1203
01:00:13,141 --> 01:00:16,443
the pimples went away,
and, uh, these came to play.
1204
01:00:18,730 --> 01:00:20,731
- You want to touch them?
- Oh, that's OK.
1205
01:00:20,832 --> 01:00:24,367
- Later, later.
- They're here for you. Ding-dong.
1206
01:00:25,187 --> 01:00:26,687
♪ You put your right hand in ♪
1207
01:00:26,788 --> 01:00:29,290
ALL:
♪ You put your right hand out ♪
1208
01:00:29,391 --> 01:00:30,774
♪ You put your right hand in ♪
1209
01:00:30,875 --> 01:00:32,776
- ♪ And you shake it all about ♪
- OK.
1210
01:00:32,877 --> 01:00:34,744
- I think we should leave.
- Yes.
1211
01:00:34,846 --> 01:00:36,697
♪ And you turn ♪
♪ yourself around ♪
1212
01:00:36,865 --> 01:00:39,366
- All right. Bye-bye.
- ♪ That's what it's all about ♪
1213
01:00:39,467 --> 01:00:40,951
What's happening?
1214
01:00:41,052 --> 01:00:43,253
Hey, so I spoke to Wendy.
1215
01:00:43,354 --> 01:00:45,189
She's excited to see
the kids tomorrow.
1216
01:00:45,290 --> 01:00:47,091
This is the longest
she's been away from them.
1217
01:00:47,192 --> 01:00:51,946
That's right. This is my
last night with the kids.
1218
01:00:52,047 --> 01:00:53,847
You know,
they're gonna be devastated.
1219
01:00:53,948 --> 01:00:55,516
They worship you
1220
01:00:55,617 --> 01:00:58,252
and those amazing bedtime stories
you've been telling them.
1221
01:00:58,353 --> 01:01:01,038
Oh, well, they say all the good parts.
I promise.
1222
01:01:01,206 --> 01:01:03,407
Oh, my gosh.
Is he unconscious?
1223
01:01:03,508 --> 01:01:04,841
Yeah, yeah.
1224
01:01:05,326 --> 01:01:06,944
(YELLING)
1225
01:01:07,045 --> 01:01:09,679
Boom! Oh.
1226
01:01:10,982 --> 01:01:12,532
Thanks!
1227
01:01:13,568 --> 01:01:14,568
Whoa!
1228
01:01:14,636 --> 01:01:16,136
- Yeah?
- Check out Mr. Smooth.
1229
01:01:16,237 --> 01:01:20,107
- Well, you know, I do what I do.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
1230
01:01:20,208 --> 01:01:22,709
- Think we should get out of this rain?
- What rain?
1231
01:01:22,811 --> 01:01:25,178
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
1232
01:01:25,279 --> 01:01:27,180
Oh, shoot!
Where did that come from?
1233
01:01:27,281 --> 01:01:29,015
I don't know!
Isn't it amazing?
1234
01:01:29,116 --> 01:01:32,185
- Let's get out of this!
- Let's go! Let's get out! Move it!
1235
01:01:32,286 --> 01:01:34,154
(JILL SCREAMING, LAUGHING)
1236
01:01:34,255 --> 01:01:36,740
I can read the future.
1237
01:01:38,893 --> 01:01:41,712
Good God. So...
1238
01:01:41,813 --> 01:01:46,166
So... The big presentation's
tomorrow, right?
1239
01:01:46,267 --> 01:01:48,885
I know you're not nervous
or anything, but, um...
1240
01:01:48,986 --> 01:01:50,170
good luck on it anyway.
1241
01:01:50,271 --> 01:01:51,671
- Thank you.
- Yep.
1242
01:01:51,772 --> 01:01:56,110
Actually, you can come
if you want. It's like a party.
1243
01:01:56,211 --> 01:01:58,913
You know, Wendy's gonna be
watching the kids,
1244
01:01:59,013 --> 01:02:00,280
and we could have fun.
1245
01:02:00,381 --> 01:02:02,316
You can meet me there.
1246
01:02:03,051 --> 01:02:05,168
Yeah. That would, uh...
1247
01:02:05,270 --> 01:02:08,905
I could do that.
I could meet you, um...
1248
01:02:09,006 --> 01:02:12,008
after night school
or something.
1249
01:02:13,428 --> 01:02:15,896
It's you?
1250
01:02:15,997 --> 01:02:18,215
It's me what?
1251
01:02:19,283 --> 01:02:22,753
You're the fairest maiden
in the land?
1252
01:02:24,405 --> 01:02:27,774
"Fair" as in "doesn't
cheat at checkers"?
1253
01:02:29,610 --> 01:02:32,296
No, fairest as in...
1254
01:02:33,697 --> 01:02:36,166
"beautifulest."
1255
01:02:45,794 --> 01:02:48,829
Wait, wait.
Something weird's gonna happen.
1256
01:02:49,630 --> 01:02:51,515
Oh.
1257
01:02:51,616 --> 01:02:54,752
No, yeah, we don't...
This is a mistake.
1258
01:02:54,853 --> 01:02:58,722
No, no, no, not between us.
I mean like, some...
1259
01:02:58,724 --> 01:03:01,775
No! No, no!
Oh, here comes Abe!
1260
01:03:02,460 --> 01:03:04,645
No!
1261
01:03:13,271 --> 01:03:15,071
Ah! Look.
1262
01:03:15,657 --> 01:03:18,058
- Wow, a penny.
- No, no, no.
1263
01:03:18,159 --> 01:03:21,178
This is the weird thing I was
talking about. Abe Lincoln.
1264
01:03:21,279 --> 01:03:24,064
- Yeah. Yeah.
- No, no, no, no.
1265
01:03:24,165 --> 01:03:27,350
Abe's not gonna interrupt
this time. That was it.
1266
01:03:27,451 --> 01:03:29,119
It's supposed to end
better than this.
1267
01:03:29,220 --> 01:03:32,623
Stick around. I'm tellin' ya,
you're gonna be missing out.
1268
01:03:33,958 --> 01:03:36,360
Nice imagination, Patrick.
1269
01:03:43,735 --> 01:03:45,869
- Skeeter?
- Yo.
1270
01:03:45,970 --> 01:03:48,672
We've got a little bit
of a shaving situation in there.
1271
01:03:48,773 --> 01:03:50,691
Oh, no, no, no.
I took the razor blades out.
1272
01:03:50,791 --> 01:03:52,659
Don't worry.
Their father ain't around,
1273
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:55,262
I figured someone has
to teach them how to shave.
1274
01:03:55,363 --> 01:03:56,463
(KIDS GIGGLING)
1275
01:03:56,765 --> 01:03:59,082
I'm Princess Leia.
1276
01:03:59,184 --> 01:04:01,185
Uh-huh.
1277
01:04:02,503 --> 01:04:05,088
So, are you ready for the big
showdown tomorrow night?
1278
01:04:05,189 --> 01:04:06,223
Oh, yeah.
1279
01:04:06,324 --> 01:04:07,524
What I'm going to do is
1280
01:04:07,625 --> 01:04:09,593
tell them a bedtime
story tonight.
1281
01:04:09,694 --> 01:04:12,463
I'll have me win in the story.
1282
01:04:12,563 --> 01:04:16,133
Then I'll win for reals.
Do you dig?
1283
01:04:16,234 --> 01:04:17,835
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah,
I understand.
1284
01:04:17,936 --> 01:04:20,170
So it's like, um,
positive visualization.
1285
01:04:20,271 --> 01:04:22,206
I read a book on that once.
1286
01:04:22,891 --> 01:04:25,492
Read the back cover, at least.
1287
01:04:28,362 --> 01:04:29,530
I can't read.
1288
01:04:29,631 --> 01:04:31,147
(LAUGHING)
1289
01:04:31,249 --> 01:04:33,383
Shut up, Bugsy!
1290
01:04:33,484 --> 01:04:36,119
I've got opposable thumbs.
How do you feel about that?
1291
01:04:36,221 --> 01:04:38,355
(STOPS LAUGHING)
1292
01:04:38,456 --> 01:04:39,616
SKEETER:
You children ready?
1293
01:04:39,657 --> 01:04:42,793
Because here comes
our last story.
1294
01:04:43,595 --> 01:04:46,446
The fate of the entire universe
1295
01:04:46,547 --> 01:04:48,232
hung in the balance,
1296
01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:50,600
as the Supreme Galactic Council
1297
01:04:50,602 --> 01:04:52,936
met to determine
who would control
1298
01:04:53,121 --> 01:04:58,425
the new planet in the vast
Nottinghamian star system.
1299
01:04:58,526 --> 01:04:59,960
(ALL CHEERING)
1300
01:05:00,061 --> 01:05:03,998
Most in attendance expected
Supreme Leader Barracto
1301
01:05:04,099 --> 01:05:07,418
to rule in favor
of General Kendallo,
1302
01:05:07,519 --> 01:05:11,488
the evil governor of Hotelium.
1303
01:05:11,589 --> 01:05:14,775
But there was
a wild card in the mix...
1304
01:05:15,626 --> 01:05:18,278
Skeeto Bronsonnian
1305
01:05:18,379 --> 01:05:21,648
and his sidekick,
Mickey Doo Quicky Doo.
1306
01:05:22,917 --> 01:05:24,734
They all watched with
excitement.
1307
01:05:24,835 --> 01:05:27,437
Lieutenant Jilli
and her two young cadets,
1308
01:05:27,538 --> 01:05:31,392
Aspenoff, and even
the great Captain Bugzoid.
1309
01:05:31,493 --> 01:05:36,029
PATRICK: Hey, since it's outer space,
Skeeto should talk like a goofy alien.
1310
01:05:36,130 --> 01:05:39,782
- SKEETER: What?
- (GIBBERISH)
1311
01:05:41,885 --> 01:05:44,838
That's disgusting.
I'm not going to translate that.
1312
01:05:44,939 --> 01:05:46,106
Silence!
1313
01:05:46,207 --> 01:05:47,424
The leader of the new planet
1314
01:05:47,525 --> 01:05:50,928
shall be determined
the old-fashioned way,
1315
01:05:51,029 --> 01:05:54,181
A zero-gravity fight.
1316
01:05:54,282 --> 01:05:57,084
- (ALL GASP)
- (CONTINUES GIBBERISH)
1317
01:06:05,610 --> 01:06:08,812
SKEETER: OK, now we get to the
part the crowd came to see.
1318
01:06:08,913 --> 01:06:12,616
Skeeto defeating Kendallo,
right?
1319
01:06:14,202 --> 01:06:17,103
PATRICK: I think we need
to see them battle first.
1320
01:06:17,204 --> 01:06:18,388
(LAUGHS EVILLY)
1321
01:06:18,689 --> 01:06:20,273
(GIBBERISH)
1322
01:06:20,374 --> 01:06:21,875
(YELLING)
1323
01:06:22,026 --> 01:06:23,560
(SHOUTING)
1324
01:06:27,715 --> 01:06:29,083
(GRUNTS)
1325
01:06:29,117 --> 01:06:31,618
PATRICK:
Kendallo makes the first move.
1326
01:06:31,620 --> 01:06:34,071
(LAUGHING)
1327
01:06:42,213 --> 01:06:44,131
- BOTH: Skeeto!
- SKEETER: But the kids
1328
01:06:44,298 --> 01:06:46,383
really want to see Skeeto
kick his butt, right?
1329
01:06:46,484 --> 01:06:49,953
- (SHOUTS)
- (GROANS)
1330
01:06:55,810 --> 01:06:57,744
Wet willy.
(LAUGHS)
1331
01:06:57,845 --> 01:07:00,096
Boring!
1332
01:07:00,198 --> 01:07:03,349
Uh, bring out
the booger monster!
1333
01:07:07,238 --> 01:07:09,639
SKEETER: Oh, I think
I'm gonna be sick.
1334
01:07:10,357 --> 01:07:12,692
(CROWD GROANING)
1335
01:07:12,994 --> 01:07:14,894
(SHOUTING)
1336
01:07:16,030 --> 01:07:18,882
(YELLING)
1337
01:07:18,983 --> 01:07:22,485
SKEETER: All right, have the booger
monster smack Kendallo around.
1338
01:07:22,587 --> 01:07:25,021
BOBBI: No, I think
he should kiss him.
1339
01:07:25,339 --> 01:07:27,857
- (MONSTER GRUNTING)
- (GROANING)
1340
01:07:27,958 --> 01:07:30,593
SKEETER: Would you get
to Skeeto winning already?
1341
01:07:30,694 --> 01:07:32,579
PATRICK:
OK.
1342
01:07:34,431 --> 01:07:35,649
(SCREAMS)
1343
01:07:35,750 --> 01:07:37,550
Whoa!
1344
01:07:38,736 --> 01:07:41,821
- (MONSTER CRIES)
- (GROANING)
1345
01:07:41,922 --> 01:07:47,477
Arise, Skeeto,
sharif of Nottinghamia.
1346
01:07:51,232 --> 01:07:53,283
(SCREECHING)
1347
01:07:53,384 --> 01:07:56,336
(GIBBERISH)
1348
01:07:56,537 --> 01:07:58,271
- Whoopee!
- Whoo!
1349
01:07:59,156 --> 01:08:00,473
(WHISTLING)
1350
01:08:00,574 --> 01:08:03,177
And that is the perfect ending
1351
01:08:03,278 --> 01:08:05,179
to our last story.
1352
01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:06,880
Thank you, children.
1353
01:08:06,981 --> 01:08:08,281
Oh, that's not the ending.
1354
01:08:08,382 --> 01:08:10,249
Yeah. That would be
too obvious.
1355
01:08:10,395 --> 01:08:11,395
What do you mean?
1356
01:08:11,419 --> 01:08:12,919
Somebody threw a fireball
at Skeeto
1357
01:08:13,304 --> 01:08:15,722
and Skeeto got incineratated.
1358
01:08:17,141 --> 01:08:19,542
- The end.
- "Incineratated"?
1359
01:08:19,644 --> 01:08:23,180
- (CROWD GROANS)
- SKEETER: You mean "incinerated"?
1360
01:08:23,281 --> 01:08:26,199
No! No, no!
He can't catch on fire.
1361
01:08:26,300 --> 01:08:28,935
Yeah. I'm Captain Skeeto.
I'm on fire!
1362
01:08:29,204 --> 01:08:31,421
SKEETER: No, no, no.
The story can't end like that.
1363
01:08:31,739 --> 01:08:33,373
What happened to
a nice, happy ending?
1364
01:08:33,474 --> 01:08:36,409
You said happy endings
don't really happen.
1365
01:08:36,627 --> 01:08:38,127
We want our story to be real.
1366
01:08:38,228 --> 01:08:40,613
Oh, I was just saying that.
I was stupid.
1367
01:08:40,714 --> 01:08:42,049
- (YAWNS)
- No, no, no, no, no.
1368
01:08:42,150 --> 01:08:44,851
So, what? We're really going
to have me on fire? Hey!
1369
01:08:44,952 --> 01:08:48,055
Don't fall asleep, or the story
will lock. Stop it! Wake up!
1370
01:08:48,156 --> 01:08:50,524
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
1371
01:08:50,625 --> 01:08:53,827
I can't believe
Skeeter didn't tell you.
1372
01:08:53,928 --> 01:08:56,963
And I'm sure it's just a
coincidence that the new hotel
1373
01:08:57,065 --> 01:09:00,767
is going up right here
where the, where the school is.
1374
01:09:00,868 --> 01:09:02,736
- Well, I'm pretty sure...
- (PHONE RINGS)
1375
01:09:02,837 --> 01:09:03,695
Excuse me.
Yeah.
1376
01:09:03,721 --> 01:09:06,198
ASPEN: Everything's ready
for the presentation.
1377
01:09:06,273 --> 01:09:07,708
- Good.
- Ten-four, rubber duck.
1378
01:09:07,809 --> 01:09:09,342
Got it. Great.
1379
01:09:09,443 --> 01:09:11,778
(OHIO PLAYERS "FIRE")
1380
01:09:11,879 --> 01:09:13,714
♪ Oh, uh ♪
1381
01:09:13,815 --> 01:09:16,766
♪ Fire ♪
1382
01:09:17,601 --> 01:09:18,601
(RADIO CLICKS)
1383
01:09:18,602 --> 01:09:19,936
(BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN "I'M ON FIRE")
1384
01:09:20,038 --> 01:09:23,473
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ I'm on fire ♪
1385
01:09:23,574 --> 01:09:24,774
(THE BANGLES "ETERNAL FLAME")
1386
01:09:24,875 --> 01:09:26,259
♪ Is this burning ♪
1387
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:27,961
♪ An et... ♪
1388
01:09:28,062 --> 01:09:29,262
(THE TRAMMPS "DISCO INFERNO")
1389
01:09:29,263 --> 01:09:31,381
♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪
1390
01:09:32,950 --> 01:09:36,753
OK. The good news is, you're
going to win the competition.
1391
01:09:36,854 --> 01:09:39,756
The bad news is, you're
probably gonna catch on fire,
1392
01:09:39,857 --> 01:09:43,259
but not if you take
a few precautions.
1393
01:09:44,028 --> 01:09:46,563
Oven mitts, smoke alarm.
1394
01:09:49,750 --> 01:09:50,934
Yeah.
1395
01:09:52,136 --> 01:09:55,888
"Flame-resistant
Christmas tree spray." Yeah.
1396
01:09:56,891 --> 01:09:59,660
Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
this will work.
1397
01:10:00,194 --> 01:10:01,311
Excuse me. Sir?
1398
01:10:01,412 --> 01:10:03,246
Those are actually
for Christmas trees.
1399
01:10:03,347 --> 01:10:04,464
I know. 'Tis the season.
1400
01:10:04,565 --> 01:10:06,833
- Ow! God!
- I'm so sorry.
1401
01:10:06,934 --> 01:10:07,934
(SOBBING)
It burns!
1402
01:10:08,018 --> 01:10:09,258
Here, let me make it up to you.
1403
01:10:09,453 --> 01:10:11,387
- (SCREAMS) Ow!
- It's for trees!
1404
01:10:11,488 --> 01:10:12,756
It's for trees!
1405
01:10:12,857 --> 01:10:14,758
You're right! That hurts!
1406
01:10:15,860 --> 01:10:18,095
I'm sorry about that!
1407
01:10:26,637 --> 01:10:29,555
ASPEN:
Antibacterial wipes, anybody?
1408
01:10:29,656 --> 01:10:31,558
Aloha. Aloha.
1409
01:10:31,659 --> 01:10:33,460
Thank you so much.
1410
01:10:35,646 --> 01:10:37,113
Whoa!
1411
01:10:38,082 --> 01:10:41,084
Steady. Steady.
1412
01:10:41,185 --> 01:10:43,120
(SHOUTS)
1413
01:10:46,173 --> 01:10:48,692
- Kona coffee ice cream.
- Yeah? What's the catch?
1414
01:10:48,793 --> 01:10:51,661
You're gonna light it on fire?
'Cause I'm on to you, honey.
1415
01:10:51,762 --> 01:10:53,646
No fire. It would melt.
1416
01:10:53,747 --> 01:10:56,649
Just take the ice cream
and a chill pill.
1417
01:11:06,027 --> 01:11:08,344
- Ah!
- CROWD: Boo!
1418
01:11:08,696 --> 01:11:11,064
- MICKEY: Skeeter.
- Yes.
1419
01:11:11,165 --> 01:11:13,066
- That wasn't very nice.
- What wasn't?
1420
01:11:13,167 --> 01:11:15,769
- You pushed that man in the pool.
- No, he jumped in.
1421
01:11:15,870 --> 01:11:17,170
Hey, you see Jill around?
1422
01:11:17,271 --> 01:11:20,006
No, I ain't, I ain't
seen Jill tonight, mate.
1423
01:11:25,179 --> 01:11:26,562
Ooh! I am cold.
1424
01:11:26,664 --> 01:11:29,082
- I'll get you a towel.
- (CUPS FALLING)
1425
01:11:29,366 --> 01:11:31,084
- I've got your towel.
- Oh, blimey.
1426
01:11:31,185 --> 01:11:32,969
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1427
01:11:35,606 --> 01:11:37,107
I love you.
1428
01:11:38,375 --> 01:11:41,077
(BEE BUZZING)
1429
01:11:41,178 --> 01:11:43,053
You brought me a grilled
cheese sandwich once.
1430
01:11:43,079 --> 01:11:43,955
Yeah. I did, yes.
1431
01:11:44,031 --> 01:11:46,182
It was Monterey Jack.
It's a good cheese.
1432
01:11:46,517 --> 01:11:48,168
(BUZZING)
1433
01:11:49,720 --> 01:11:51,605
Ow!
1434
01:11:51,706 --> 01:11:53,072
Skeeter, are you all right?
1435
01:11:53,173 --> 01:11:55,908
A bee stung my tongue!
1436
01:11:56,009 --> 01:11:57,594
(GONGS)
1437
01:11:57,695 --> 01:12:01,431
The meeting for the exciting new hotel
will take place in the living room.
1438
01:12:01,532 --> 01:12:04,734
So I don't think you're
going to want to miss this.
1439
01:12:04,835 --> 01:12:07,053
No, it's swelling up!
1440
01:12:11,275 --> 01:12:14,177
- Can I sit there, please, mate?
- Yes, of course.
1441
01:12:14,378 --> 01:12:16,929
- Don't touch me.
- Sorry.
1442
01:12:17,030 --> 01:12:19,799
Before we begin,
I would just like to say,
1443
01:12:19,900 --> 01:12:22,769
personally, happy birthday.
1444
01:12:22,870 --> 01:12:24,120
ALL:
Happy birthday.
1445
01:12:24,221 --> 01:12:25,555
Happy birthday, Daddy.
1446
01:12:25,656 --> 01:12:26,839
Thank you, Kendall.
1447
01:12:26,940 --> 01:12:29,476
Yes, now, as you can see,
1448
01:12:29,577 --> 01:12:31,978
I've invited some
of the staff to sit in
1449
01:12:32,079 --> 01:12:35,365
to see how your ideas would
play with the "regular folk."
1450
01:12:35,466 --> 01:12:39,052
- No offense.
- None taken, Barry. None taken.
1451
01:12:40,298 --> 01:12:41,298
BARRY:
So, gentlemen,
1452
01:12:41,322 --> 01:12:43,423
which of you
would like to go first?
1453
01:12:45,826 --> 01:12:47,160
Fair enough.
1454
01:12:48,395 --> 01:12:51,097
Mr. Nottingham,
you were absolutely right
1455
01:12:51,198 --> 01:12:55,151
when you said the rock and roll
theme was old hat.
1456
01:12:57,271 --> 01:12:59,822
Gone. Your insight, sir,
1457
01:12:59,923 --> 01:13:03,093
has inspired me to,
to dig deeper,
1458
01:13:03,194 --> 01:13:05,962
to find the commonality
at the heart
1459
01:13:06,063 --> 01:13:07,697
of the American experience.
1460
01:13:07,798 --> 01:13:09,449
I speak, of course...
1461
01:13:09,550 --> 01:13:11,451
of the musical theater.
1462
01:13:11,552 --> 01:13:14,354
And, more specifically...
1463
01:13:15,088 --> 01:13:16,623
Broadway!
1464
01:13:20,060 --> 01:13:21,228
Hit it.
1465
01:13:21,329 --> 01:13:25,398
♪ Oh, when you first pull up ♪
1466
01:13:25,500 --> 01:13:27,567
♪ To the grand front door ♪
1467
01:13:27,668 --> 01:13:30,887
♪ There isn't just a bellhop ♪
♪ There's an overture ♪
1468
01:13:30,988 --> 01:13:36,226
♪ At the Nottingham ♪
♪ Broadway Mega Resort ♪
1469
01:13:36,327 --> 01:13:39,362
♪ Oh there's a pool ♪
♪ for the Sharks ♪
1470
01:13:39,546 --> 01:13:40,981
♪ A pool for the Jets ♪
1471
01:13:41,082 --> 01:13:44,701
♪ And you can bring Cats ♪
♪ 'cause we take pets ♪
1472
01:13:44,802 --> 01:13:46,619
- ♪ At the Nottingham Broadway ♪
- (YAWNS)
1473
01:13:46,854 --> 01:13:52,442
♪ Mega Resort ♪
1474
01:13:57,497 --> 01:13:58,548
(WHINES)
1475
01:13:58,649 --> 01:14:02,569
Original, impressive,
well done.
1476
01:14:02,670 --> 01:14:03,536
Thank you, Kendall.
1477
01:14:03,637 --> 01:14:06,055
- Thank you, sir.
- (APPLAUSE)
1478
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:10,293
(SCREAMS)
1479
01:14:12,763 --> 01:14:14,731
Uh, sorry about that.
1480
01:14:14,831 --> 01:14:17,967
I was, uh,
just resting my eyes.
1481
01:14:21,622 --> 01:14:24,223
Skeeter. You're up.
1482
01:14:29,330 --> 01:14:30,613
(CLEARING THROAT)
1483
01:14:32,316 --> 01:14:34,584
(GIBBERISH)
1484
01:14:40,741 --> 01:14:42,609
Are you all right, Skeeter?
1485
01:14:44,261 --> 01:14:47,396
A bee bit my tongue.
1486
01:14:47,698 --> 01:14:48,698
I'm sorry?
1487
01:14:48,782 --> 01:14:52,668
A bee... stung my tongue.
1488
01:14:56,240 --> 01:14:58,007
"A bee stung my tongue."
1489
01:14:58,108 --> 01:15:00,877
Oh, you understand him? Oh.
1490
01:15:00,978 --> 01:15:04,513
How did a bee
sting your tongue?
1491
01:15:04,614 --> 01:15:05,898
Uh...
1492
01:15:05,999 --> 01:15:08,434
I was eating ice cream,
and suddenly a bee...
1493
01:15:08,535 --> 01:15:11,838
Uh, it was on an ice cream,
and he licked it.
1494
01:15:11,939 --> 01:15:15,975
Hmm. Can you translate
Skeeter's presentation for us?
1495
01:15:16,076 --> 01:15:18,478
- Mmm!
- Uh... Yes!
1496
01:15:18,579 --> 01:15:19,912
Yes, I can do that.
1497
01:15:20,013 --> 01:15:22,315
(CLAPPING)
1498
01:15:22,416 --> 01:15:23,700
Thank you. Ready?
1499
01:15:23,801 --> 01:15:26,385
- MICKEY: I'm ready. OK.
- SKEETER: Ready?
1500
01:15:27,988 --> 01:15:30,055
(GIBBERISH)
1501
01:15:33,460 --> 01:15:37,530
"I spent the last week in the
hotel, the hotel where I live..."
1502
01:15:37,631 --> 01:15:40,015
With my niece and nephew.
1503
01:15:40,116 --> 01:15:42,636
"With my niece and my nephew."
1504
01:15:46,907 --> 01:15:51,995
"To a kid, everything about a
hotel is strange and wonderful."
1505
01:15:53,196 --> 01:15:56,298
"Sleeping in
a different bed."
1506
01:15:57,601 --> 01:15:59,402
"Hanging out
in the lobby."
1507
01:16:01,422 --> 01:16:03,823
"Jumping up and down
on the alligator."
1508
01:16:03,924 --> 01:16:05,241
(GRUNTS)
1509
01:16:08,812 --> 01:16:11,447
"Riding up and down
in the elevator."
1510
01:16:11,782 --> 01:16:12,799
ALL:
Ah!
1511
01:16:12,900 --> 01:16:14,583
Sorry. Yeah, I see now
that an alligator
1512
01:16:14,684 --> 01:16:16,403
wouldn't be in that context.
1513
01:16:22,376 --> 01:16:26,862
"Some hotels try to make it seem
as much like home as possible."
1514
01:16:28,532 --> 01:16:30,733
"But they're missing
the point."
1515
01:16:35,206 --> 01:16:39,275
"If you wanted to stay in a place like
home, then why not stay at home?"
1516
01:16:43,097 --> 01:16:46,883
"Our guests should experience
an escape from the everyday."
1517
01:16:51,571 --> 01:16:56,109
"And that's what I'd like to
capture in our new hotel."
1518
01:17:00,614 --> 01:17:05,418
"What every kid knows and what
every adult has forgotten."
1519
01:17:11,976 --> 01:17:14,677
"Like my father said to me,"
1520
01:17:14,978 --> 01:17:19,382
"your fun is only limited
by your imagination."
1521
01:17:22,236 --> 01:17:24,970
- That was beautiful.
- Yeah? All right. Settle down.
1522
01:17:25,071 --> 01:17:26,372
Just the way it built.
1523
01:17:26,473 --> 01:17:30,943
And that's it? I'm sorry.
I don't understand it.
1524
01:17:32,863 --> 01:17:36,098
That... was... brilliant!
1525
01:17:36,399 --> 01:17:39,602
Congratulations, my boy.
You've just won the keys to the kingdom.
1526
01:17:39,703 --> 01:17:41,187
(GRUNTS)
1527
01:17:46,159 --> 01:17:47,493
(WHIMPERS)
1528
01:17:52,365 --> 01:17:56,368
Boogie, don't do that. Germs.
1529
01:17:58,538 --> 01:18:01,390
Congratulations. Great job.
Keep icing that tongue.
1530
01:18:01,491 --> 01:18:03,610
- All right.
- Congratulations, Skeeter.
1531
01:18:03,711 --> 01:18:05,978
- Congratulations. That was great.
- Yeah?
1532
01:18:06,079 --> 01:18:08,180
(IMITATES GIBBERISH)
1533
01:18:08,282 --> 01:18:09,749
That's just terrific.
1534
01:18:10,917 --> 01:18:12,118
Congratulations, Skeeter.
1535
01:18:12,219 --> 01:18:15,338
All right, Kendall.
Yeah. No hard feelings, pal.
1536
01:18:15,439 --> 01:18:18,241
Of course not. You deserve it.
You're a better man than me.
1537
01:18:18,342 --> 01:18:20,944
- You have an iron will.
- Yeah. That's what they say.
1538
01:18:21,045 --> 01:18:24,447
I would not have the guts to tear down
the school my niece and nephew attend.
1539
01:18:24,748 --> 01:18:26,699
What?
1540
01:18:28,002 --> 01:18:30,837
You do know that's
the site for the new hotel?
1541
01:18:30,938 --> 01:18:32,572
What are you talking about?
1542
01:18:32,673 --> 01:18:34,941
- Good show, old son.
- Oh, sir.
1543
01:18:35,042 --> 01:18:39,095
That bee sting language was really
working for you on a sympathetic level.
1544
01:18:39,263 --> 01:18:41,864
Good, I'm glad. I wanted to
talk to you about the location
1545
01:18:41,965 --> 01:18:43,449
that we're building the hotel.
1546
01:18:43,451 --> 01:18:45,401
ALL:
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1547
01:18:45,502 --> 01:18:48,755
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1548
01:18:49,105 --> 01:18:52,292
♪ Happy birthday ♪
1549
01:18:53,377 --> 01:18:57,063
(DRUMS BEATING)
1550
01:19:03,287 --> 01:19:05,687
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1551
01:19:14,114 --> 01:19:17,366
Bronson, you're fired!
1552
01:19:18,552 --> 01:19:20,786
Fired?
1553
01:19:20,887 --> 01:19:22,054
Oh...
1554
01:19:22,156 --> 01:19:24,323
That's how it connects.
1555
01:19:30,780 --> 01:19:32,215
(BELL RINGS)
1556
01:19:35,385 --> 01:19:36,619
Yes?
1557
01:19:36,720 --> 01:19:38,437
Do you know where
Jill Hastings' class is?
1558
01:19:38,538 --> 01:19:39,972
It's right over there.
1559
01:19:41,742 --> 01:19:44,193
Why won't you answer my calls?
1560
01:19:44,294 --> 01:19:46,695
Because I know
it's you calling.
1561
01:19:47,030 --> 01:19:49,115
You got to believe me, Jill.
I had no idea...
1562
01:19:49,216 --> 01:19:54,053
Don't destroy the sliver of respect I
have for you by making lame excuses.
1563
01:19:55,122 --> 01:19:59,258
Just go away and stay away.
1564
01:20:01,178 --> 01:20:04,580
Uncle Skeeter? Do you want
to incinertate our school
1565
01:20:04,681 --> 01:20:07,683
'cause we incinertated
you in the story?
1566
01:20:07,784 --> 01:20:09,869
No, I wouldn't do that.
1567
01:20:09,970 --> 01:20:12,838
We thought you were
supposed to be the good guy.
1568
01:20:26,553 --> 01:20:28,087
So did I.
1569
01:20:47,190 --> 01:20:50,292
"Skeeto defeats Kendallo."
1570
01:20:51,394 --> 01:20:53,362
- Not really.
- (KNOCKING)
1571
01:20:53,463 --> 01:20:57,299
- Yeah?
- Hey.
1572
01:20:57,434 --> 01:21:00,686
Oh, hey.
Welcome back.
1573
01:21:02,306 --> 01:21:03,889
So, you mad at me, too?
1574
01:21:03,990 --> 01:21:07,643
Not as mad as Jill,
but, uh, mad, yes.
1575
01:21:07,744 --> 01:21:10,729
I didn't know the new hotel
was going up there.
1576
01:21:11,098 --> 01:21:12,247
I figured that.
1577
01:21:12,348 --> 01:21:13,348
Then what are you mad at?
1578
01:21:13,434 --> 01:21:15,118
I gave the kids junk food?
1579
01:21:15,219 --> 01:21:17,453
No, I figured you'd do that too.
1580
01:21:17,554 --> 01:21:20,456
I'm mad because
you told my kids
1581
01:21:20,557 --> 01:21:22,775
that in real life there
are no happy endings.
1582
01:21:23,009 --> 01:21:24,860
Well, look around you, Wendy.
1583
01:21:24,961 --> 01:21:27,496
Do you see
any happy endings here?
1584
01:21:29,132 --> 01:21:34,837
I don't know. You and Dad always
had so much fun in this room.
1585
01:21:34,938 --> 01:21:36,505
For whatever reason, I didn't.
1586
01:21:36,607 --> 01:21:39,541
I was always the cynic,
the, the sourpuss.
1587
01:21:39,642 --> 01:21:42,411
The black cloud.
The energy drainer.
1588
01:21:42,512 --> 01:21:45,030
The... dead fish.
1589
01:21:45,131 --> 01:21:47,483
Yes, all of those things.
1590
01:21:47,584 --> 01:21:49,585
But when I left Bobbi
and Patrick with you,
1591
01:21:49,686 --> 01:21:52,788
I guess I just was hoping
you'd rub off on them.
1592
01:21:52,889 --> 01:21:57,260
Get them to be lighter.
Have fun. Enjoy themselves.
1593
01:21:58,161 --> 01:21:59,846
I thought Dad would like that.
1594
01:22:01,181 --> 01:22:04,400
Anyway, um, I got
a job in Arizona.
1595
01:22:04,501 --> 01:22:06,702
Teaching, not principaling.
1596
01:22:06,803 --> 01:22:08,404
That's cool.
1597
01:22:08,505 --> 01:22:11,524
Yeah, well, maybe you can come
visit when we get settled.
1598
01:22:11,625 --> 01:22:14,293
I know by then the kids
will really want to see you.
1599
01:22:20,750 --> 01:22:22,251
All right. Love you.
1600
01:22:22,352 --> 01:22:23,819
Love you.
1601
01:22:28,292 --> 01:22:33,112
MARTY: And so Skeeter sat on
his bed, filled with regret,
1602
01:22:33,380 --> 01:22:35,681
wondering how to put the
pieces of his life together
1603
01:22:35,782 --> 01:22:37,483
after one magical week.
1604
01:22:37,584 --> 01:22:41,120
- Great ending, huh?
- MARTY: That was your ending, son?
1605
01:22:41,221 --> 01:22:44,791
I thought this was just a sad part,
and you were about to make it better.
1606
01:22:44,892 --> 01:22:46,625
What? How could
I make it any better?
1607
01:22:46,727 --> 01:22:49,062
Well, In the stories
I told you,
1608
01:22:49,163 --> 01:22:51,030
just when things
looked bleakest,
1609
01:22:51,231 --> 01:22:54,634
the hero would do something
unexpected and courageous
1610
01:22:54,735 --> 01:22:58,020
to beat the bad guy, save
the day, and get the girl!
1611
01:22:58,788 --> 01:23:00,773
Yeah. How can I do that?
1612
01:23:00,874 --> 01:23:02,307
It's your story, not mine.
1613
01:23:02,409 --> 01:23:04,911
But you better get moving.
Go get 'em, son.
1614
01:23:15,772 --> 01:23:17,639
Mr. Nottingham! Mr. Nottingham?
1615
01:23:17,740 --> 01:23:20,393
I was wondering if I could
talk to you for a moment.
1616
01:23:20,494 --> 01:23:23,896
My name is Jill Hastings. I'm a
teacher at Webster Elementary.
1617
01:23:23,997 --> 01:23:27,349
ALL CHANTING:
Save our school! Save our school!
1618
01:23:27,450 --> 01:23:31,086
Save our school!
Save our school!
1619
01:23:31,187 --> 01:23:32,755
Save our school!
1620
01:23:32,856 --> 01:23:34,506
Save our school!
1621
01:23:34,607 --> 01:23:37,393
My men are in position.
We are ready for the demolition.
1622
01:23:37,494 --> 01:23:39,544
Excellent. Mr. Nottingham
said he'd call
1623
01:23:39,646 --> 01:23:42,030
if he had a problem
getting the variance,
1624
01:23:42,131 --> 01:23:44,616
so if we don't hear from him
in the next 20 minutes,
1625
01:23:44,717 --> 01:23:46,852
I say we just...
blow it all up.
1626
01:23:46,953 --> 01:23:49,838
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
1627
01:23:52,775 --> 01:23:56,546
Madam, the war is over.
You lost. I'm sorry.
1628
01:23:59,816 --> 01:24:03,402
This isn't a war, Mr. Nottingham.
We're talking about children.
1629
01:24:03,503 --> 01:24:06,322
There must be other possible
sites for your hotel complex
1630
01:24:06,423 --> 01:24:08,758
that would not result
in the displacement...
1631
01:24:08,784 --> 01:24:10,184
Hey, hey! Barry, Jill.
1632
01:24:10,260 --> 01:24:12,302
How you doing?
We're just wrapping up here.
1633
01:24:12,328 --> 01:24:13,905
Donna, you remember Jill, right?
1634
01:24:13,981 --> 01:24:18,350
Of course! Oh, my God.
That jacket is so cute!
1635
01:24:18,451 --> 01:24:20,986
Uh, thank you.
1636
01:24:21,087 --> 01:24:22,621
Bronson, what
are you doing here?
1637
01:24:22,722 --> 01:24:24,857
What am I doing here?
Yeah, what am I doing here?
1638
01:24:25,209 --> 01:24:28,944
Oh, uh, well, Mr. Bronson,
as a concerned citizen,
1639
01:24:29,045 --> 01:24:30,629
wanted to bring
points to my attention
1640
01:24:30,831 --> 01:24:33,198
before I made any hasty
decisions about the property.
1641
01:24:33,299 --> 01:24:37,153
And they are points that are going
to take me years to analyze.
1642
01:24:37,254 --> 01:24:39,171
- Years?
- Years.
1643
01:24:39,272 --> 01:24:42,792
Bronson, are you
playing hardball with me?
1644
01:24:42,893 --> 01:24:44,259
I am, sir.
1645
01:24:44,360 --> 01:24:47,763
Because your application
for variance has been...
1646
01:24:49,032 --> 01:24:50,883
Denied.
1647
01:24:52,502 --> 01:24:53,536
Denied?
1648
01:24:53,637 --> 01:24:55,254
Yes. But the good news is
1649
01:24:55,355 --> 01:24:57,623
Donna and I found you
another piece of property
1650
01:24:57,724 --> 01:25:02,111
right on the beach in Santa Monica
that is uptight and out of sight.
1651
01:25:02,212 --> 01:25:04,463
Beachfront was my first choice,
but it's not for sale.
1652
01:25:04,764 --> 01:25:06,032
It is now.
1653
01:25:06,399 --> 01:25:08,700
It is! Isn't that fabulous?
1654
01:25:09,018 --> 01:25:10,018
Really?
1655
01:25:10,103 --> 01:25:11,336
Friends?
1656
01:25:11,437 --> 01:25:13,338
Oh, oh. (STAMMERS)
Yeah, well, germs.
1657
01:25:13,439 --> 01:25:17,125
Let's get past that.
Come here. Come here.
1658
01:25:17,226 --> 01:25:20,513
No, no, no, no, no.
1659
01:25:20,614 --> 01:25:23,582
I'm touching you,
and it's OK. Look at that.
1660
01:25:23,683 --> 01:25:25,584
Aw...
1661
01:25:25,769 --> 01:25:29,372
Ooh. You're enjoying it.
Good. Bring me closer.
1662
01:25:29,473 --> 01:25:33,542
That is so sweet.
And creepy.
1663
01:25:35,459 --> 01:25:36,459
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
1664
01:25:36,483 --> 01:25:38,339
Attention, please,
ladies and gentlemen.
1665
01:25:38,415 --> 01:25:42,918
We are working with highly-sensitive,
dangerous radio-controlled explosives.
1666
01:25:43,186 --> 01:25:44,654
ALL:
Boo!
1667
01:25:44,821 --> 01:25:48,574
And so to avoid
any tragic misfires,
1668
01:25:48,675 --> 01:25:51,110
I would ask that you all
turn off your cell phones.
1669
01:25:51,211 --> 01:25:54,980
All of you, please.
Turn your cell phones off.
1670
01:25:56,250 --> 01:25:58,417
Did you really
just fix everything?
1671
01:25:58,518 --> 01:26:00,486
Not everything.
1672
01:26:02,772 --> 01:26:03,772
(CLEARS THROAT)
1673
01:26:03,873 --> 01:26:05,974
- Yes?
- We appear to have a situation.
1674
01:26:06,075 --> 01:26:07,943
I can't reach Kendall
on his cell phone
1675
01:26:08,044 --> 01:26:11,880
to halt the demolition which
will begin in... 13 minutes.
1676
01:26:11,981 --> 01:26:13,766
PATRICK:
This sign we made is awesome!
1677
01:26:13,867 --> 01:26:17,302
BOBBI: We need a window where those
construction guys can see it.
1678
01:26:17,403 --> 01:26:19,221
Then they'll change their minds.
1679
01:26:20,624 --> 01:26:22,408
Bobbi, I found one.
1680
01:26:26,530 --> 01:26:28,164
JILL:
That's my Prius!
1681
01:26:28,265 --> 01:26:29,982
- OK. Where's your truck?
- My truck?
1682
01:26:30,083 --> 01:26:32,251
I had to give it back
to the hotel.
1683
01:26:32,352 --> 01:26:34,853
What do you mean
you gave it back to the hotel?
1684
01:26:35,122 --> 01:26:36,289
Come here!
Come here!
1685
01:26:36,390 --> 01:26:39,041
- (MOTORCYCLE REVS)
- SKEETER: Sorry!
1686
01:26:40,309 --> 01:26:42,328
It's for a good cause!
1687
01:26:44,815 --> 01:26:47,249
Have you ever driven
a motorcycle?
1688
01:26:47,350 --> 01:26:48,884
No!
1689
01:27:04,700 --> 01:27:06,051
(GASPS)
1690
01:27:20,000 --> 01:27:21,633
- Oh, my God!
- (HORN HONKS)
1691
01:27:21,734 --> 01:27:23,586
(JILL GROANING)
1692
01:27:25,321 --> 01:27:27,340
No, no, no, no!
(SCREAMS)
1693
01:27:32,078 --> 01:27:33,912
Ooh! Yah!
Booya!
1694
01:27:38,452 --> 01:27:39,768
(JILL SCREAMING)
1695
01:27:44,541 --> 01:27:47,993
Have you seen Bobbi?
Patrick?
1696
01:27:48,094 --> 01:27:50,562
Bobbi! Patrick!
1697
01:27:52,265 --> 01:27:54,283
What are you going to do?
1698
01:28:13,186 --> 01:28:15,070
I'll take that back.
1699
01:28:16,756 --> 01:28:18,374
No fair!
1700
01:28:18,475 --> 01:28:21,894
Hey, people, that's 60 seconds!
Whoo-hoo!
1701
01:28:21,995 --> 01:28:24,780
Wait! Wait a minute!
I can't find my children!
1702
01:28:24,881 --> 01:28:27,066
- They might be in there!
- Nice try.
1703
01:28:27,167 --> 01:28:30,502
We cleared the building hours
ago. OK? Everything is fine.
1704
01:28:32,622 --> 01:28:34,239
No! Let me through!
1705
01:28:34,340 --> 01:28:37,276
Hey, we got to check the rooms
before we start making booms.
1706
01:28:37,610 --> 01:28:39,345
We've checked it already!
1707
01:28:39,446 --> 01:28:40,729
Do it myself.
1708
01:28:41,881 --> 01:28:44,333
- (JILL SCREAMS)
- Uncle Skeeter!
1709
01:28:44,434 --> 01:28:46,852
SKEETER: Hey!
Get out of there!
1710
01:28:46,953 --> 01:28:48,721
- Five...
- No!
1711
01:28:48,822 --> 01:28:50,355
- Grab the bar!
- Four...
1712
01:28:51,675 --> 01:28:53,526
Three...
1713
01:28:54,194 --> 01:28:55,627
Two...
1714
01:28:55,728 --> 01:28:56,995
One!
1715
01:29:03,285 --> 01:29:06,588
The king has issued
a proclamation.
1716
01:29:07,390 --> 01:29:09,391
The hotel moves away.
1717
01:29:09,726 --> 01:29:11,877
The school will stay.
1718
01:29:11,978 --> 01:29:14,396
Long live Webster Elementary!
1719
01:29:19,686 --> 01:29:20,786
- Mom!
- Mom!
1720
01:29:20,887 --> 01:29:22,521
Bobbi! Patrick!
1721
01:29:23,840 --> 01:29:25,074
Oh!
1722
01:29:27,510 --> 01:29:30,963
Hey, hey, hey.
You guys underdemeciated me.
1723
01:29:31,064 --> 01:29:33,799
Come here! I just
got to know you guys.
1724
01:29:33,900 --> 01:29:36,218
You think I'm gonna let
you slip away from me now?
1725
01:29:36,319 --> 01:29:39,121
BOBBI: I knew you
were the good guy.
1726
01:29:39,222 --> 01:29:40,455
Yeah.
1727
01:29:40,556 --> 01:29:44,360
Uh, Patrick, hi.
I'm Trisha Sparks.
1728
01:29:44,461 --> 01:29:48,347
I just wanted you to know that...
thanks for saving the school.
1729
01:29:50,149 --> 01:29:51,917
Western. Go Western.
1730
01:29:52,018 --> 01:29:56,254
- No thanks necessary, ma'am.
- That's my boy. That's my boy.
1731
01:29:56,472 --> 01:30:00,492
There must be some way for me
to show my appreciation.
1732
01:30:00,593 --> 01:30:03,195
Oh-ho-ho!
Get it.
1733
01:30:06,649 --> 01:30:07,649
(SQUEALING)
1734
01:30:07,784 --> 01:30:11,703
Ooh! Hoo-hoo-hoo!
1735
01:30:11,804 --> 01:30:13,489
Hey, isn't she
a little old for you?
1736
01:30:13,590 --> 01:30:16,174
- She's hot.
- So is she. What do you think?
1737
01:30:16,275 --> 01:30:18,322
If Master Stinky's
getting a kiss,
1738
01:30:18,348 --> 01:30:21,388
shouldn't, shouldn't I get
a little mermaid action?
1739
01:30:21,464 --> 01:30:23,998
- Come on, already.
- SKEETER: Ooh!
1740
01:30:25,351 --> 01:30:28,253
(CHEERING)
1741
01:30:37,763 --> 01:30:40,415
MARTY: Now look
what my boy has done.
1742
01:30:40,516 --> 01:30:43,185
Turned his back on the world
of luxury hotel management
1743
01:30:43,286 --> 01:30:46,321
to start a small
family business.
1744
01:30:46,590 --> 01:30:50,425
And bless his heart,
he even named it after me.
1745
01:30:50,526 --> 01:30:53,996
Hey, speaking of s'mores,
it looks like Bugsy ate them all.
1746
01:30:54,097 --> 01:30:56,164
(SQUEAKING)
1747
01:30:56,265 --> 01:30:57,883
We're completely out
of marshmallows.
1748
01:30:57,984 --> 01:31:01,703
Oh, all right. Let me handle that.
Room service!
1749
01:31:03,590 --> 01:31:05,790
- Yes, sir?
- SKEETER: Hi, Kendall.
1750
01:31:05,891 --> 01:31:07,171
Uh, Bugsy's out of marshmallows.
1751
01:31:07,260 --> 01:31:09,628
If you could just go get him
some, that would be great.
1752
01:31:09,896 --> 01:31:11,614
Right on it, sir.
Anything else?
1753
01:31:11,715 --> 01:31:13,482
Uh, not from you,
Kendall, but, uh...
1754
01:31:13,583 --> 01:31:15,684
- (BELL DINGS)
- ...Housekeeping?
1755
01:31:16,786 --> 01:31:18,253
Hey, Aspen.
1756
01:31:18,354 --> 01:31:20,789
Could you just make sure
that Bugsy's cage is clean
1757
01:31:20,890 --> 01:31:22,457
before he checks out
in the morning?
1758
01:31:22,558 --> 01:31:25,293
His marshmallows don't agree with
him, there's gonna be a mess.
1759
01:31:25,394 --> 01:31:28,797
- (FARTS, CHITTERS)
- (KIDS GIGGLE)
1760
01:31:28,898 --> 01:31:30,583
SKEETER:
All right.
1761
01:31:31,767 --> 01:31:32,951
OK, bye, guys.
1762
01:31:33,052 --> 01:31:35,354
MARTY: I think Bugsy
is trying to tell us
1763
01:31:35,404 --> 01:31:37,256
that our tale
has reached its end.
1764
01:31:37,357 --> 01:31:39,124
But before I go,
let me tell you
1765
01:31:39,225 --> 01:31:41,526
what our heroes
and villains are doing now.
1766
01:31:41,627 --> 01:31:43,561
My old friend,
Barry Nottingham,
1767
01:31:43,662 --> 01:31:46,131
overcame his fear of germs
to such a degree
1768
01:31:46,232 --> 01:31:48,600
that he decided to leave
the hotel business
1769
01:31:48,701 --> 01:31:51,336
and enter the field
of medicine.
1770
01:31:51,437 --> 01:31:55,573
He is currently the school
nurse at Webster Elementary.
1771
01:31:55,674 --> 01:31:58,176
Violet now runs
the hotel empire,
1772
01:31:58,278 --> 01:32:00,645
along with her husband, Mickey,
1773
01:32:00,746 --> 01:32:02,647
the former room service waiter
1774
01:32:02,748 --> 01:32:05,884
who is now the ninth-richest
person in the world.
1775
01:32:06,819 --> 01:32:08,486
And Skeeter and Jill?
1776
01:32:08,587 --> 01:32:12,057
After the double wedding
of the century,
1777
01:32:12,158 --> 01:32:16,724
they lived... well,
happily ever after,
1778
01:32:17,000 --> 01:32:18,700
running Marty's Motel
1779
01:32:18,800 --> 01:32:22,099
and spending a lot of time
with my grandkids,
1780
01:32:22,100 --> 01:32:24,900
whose adventures
have just begun.
1781
01:32:25,000 --> 01:32:29,000
Though, not everyone
is quite so excited.
1782
01:32:29,100 --> 01:32:31,799
But that is a whole other story.
1783
01:32:31,800 --> 01:32:33,600
The end.
1784
01:32:34,600 --> 01:32:36,000
("DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'")
1785
01:32:36,100 --> 01:32:38,300
♪ Don't stop believing ♪
1786
01:32:39,600 --> 01:32:42,799
♪ Hold on to that feeling ♪
1787
01:32:42,800 --> 01:32:46,100
♪ Streetlight people ♪
1788
01:32:46,200 --> 01:32:50,800
♪ Oh-oh-whoa ♪
1789
01:32:50,900 --> 01:32:54,700
♪ Don't stop believing ♪
1790
01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:58,300
♪ Hold on ♪
1791
01:32:58,400 --> 01:33:01,999
♪ Streetlight people ♪
1792
01:33:02,000 --> 01:33:06,600
♪ Oh-oh-whoa ♪
1793
01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:26,800
♪ Just a small town girl ♪
1794
01:33:28,100 --> 01:33:31,300
♪ Livin' in a lonely world ♪
1795
01:33:32,500 --> 01:33:34,599
♪ She took the midnight train ♪
1796
01:33:34,600 --> 01:33:38,100
♪ Goin' anywhere ♪
1797
01:33:40,700 --> 01:33:43,300
♪ Just a city boy ♪
1798
01:33:44,800 --> 01:33:47,700
♪ Born and raised in south Detroit ♪
1799
01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:50,900
♪ He took the midnight train ♪
1800
01:33:51,000 --> 01:33:54,900
♪ Goin' anywhere ♪
1801
01:34:12,900 --> 01:34:15,700
♪ A singer in a smoky room ♪
1802
01:34:17,200 --> 01:34:20,700
♪ A smell of wine and cheap perfume ♪
1803
01:34:20,800 --> 01:34:23,600
♪ For a smile they can share the night ♪
1804
01:34:23,700 --> 01:34:28,100
♪ It goes on and on and on and on ♪
1805
01:34:28,200 --> 01:34:32,300
♪ Strangers waiting ♪
1806
01:34:33,400 --> 01:34:35,899
♪ Up and down the boulevard ♪
1807
01:34:35,900 --> 01:34:38,299
♪ Their shadows ♪
1808
01:34:38,300 --> 01:34:42,600
♪ Searching in the night ♪
1809
01:34:44,600 --> 01:34:48,300
♪ Streetlight people ♪
1810
01:34:49,800 --> 01:34:52,600
♪ Living just to find emotion ♪
1811
01:34:52,700 --> 01:34:54,300
♪ Hiding ♪
1812
01:34:54,400 --> 01:34:59,200
♪ Somewhere in the night ♪
1813
01:35:09,200 --> 01:35:12,200
♪ Working hard to get my fill ♪
1814
01:35:13,300 --> 01:35:17,100
♪ Everybody wants a thrill ♪
1815
01:35:17,200 --> 01:35:20,199
♪ Paying anything to roll the dice ♪
1816
01:35:20,200 --> 01:35:24,000
♪ Just one more time ♪
1817
01:35:25,000 --> 01:35:26,799
♪ Some will win ♪
1818
01:35:26,800 --> 01:35:29,099
♪ Some will lose ♪
1819
01:35:29,100 --> 01:35:32,700
♪ Some were born to sing the blues ♪
1820
01:35:32,800 --> 01:35:35,799
♪ Oh the movie never ends ♪
1821
01:35:35,800 --> 01:35:40,299
♪ It goes on and on and on and on ♪
1822
01:35:40,300 --> 01:35:44,200
♪ Strangers waiting ♪
1823
01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:47,900
♪ Up and down the boulevard ♪
1824
01:35:48,000 --> 01:35:50,199
♪ Their shadows ♪
1825
01:35:50,200 --> 01:35:54,600
♪ Searching in the night ♪
1826
01:35:56,400 --> 01:36:00,100
♪ Streetlight people ♪
1827
01:36:01,400 --> 01:36:04,399
♪ Living just to find emotion ♪
1828
01:36:04,400 --> 01:36:06,499
♪ Hiding ♪
1829
01:36:06,500 --> 01:36:11,500
♪ Somewhere in the night ♪
1830
01:36:28,700 --> 01:36:32,200
♪ Don't stop believing ♪
1831
01:36:33,400 --> 01:36:36,400
♪ Hold on to that feeling ♪
1832
01:36:36,500 --> 01:36:39,900
♪ Streetlight people ♪
1833
01:36:40,000 --> 01:36:44,300
♪ Oh-oh-whoa ♪
1834
01:36:44,400 --> 01:36:47,900
♪ Don't stop believing ♪
1835
01:36:48,900 --> 01:36:52,299
♪ Hold on ♪
1836
01:36:52,300 --> 01:36:55,700
♪ Streetlight people ♪
1837
01:36:55,800 --> 01:36:59,500
♪ Oh-oh-whoa ♪
1838
01:39:05,024 --> 01:39:08,056