1 00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:57,642 Do you wanna know the truth about high school? 2 00:00:57,726 --> 00:01:00,770 You've got to break it down into its elements. 3 00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:03,189 Unfortunately, at St. Donovan's, 4 00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:06,734 the periodic table is more crooked than a case of scoliosis. 5 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,362 But just give me the chance, 6 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,947 and I'll set it all straight. 7 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:15,658 Case in point... Spanish homework. 8 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,743 "Dame un batido de esperma"... 9 00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:20,287 does not mean, "Take me to the airport." 10 00:01:20,454 --> 00:01:24,583 It means, "Give me a sperm milk shake." 11 00:01:26,084 --> 00:01:30,588 And 22 kids gave that as an answer in Spanish 3 last week. 12 00:01:30,713 --> 00:01:32,631 I'm not sure about the milk shake, 13 00:01:32,715 --> 00:01:36,218 but somebody's sure feeding us something sticky. 14 00:01:36,385 --> 00:01:39,804 Every clique on campus is copying the same damn homework... 15 00:01:39,971 --> 00:01:44,517 burn-outs, pretty boys, drama dorks, jocks, debaters, player haters, 16 00:01:44,683 --> 00:01:46,643 you name it. 17 00:01:46,769 --> 00:01:48,770 Oh, it's big, all right, 18 00:01:48,937 --> 00:01:53,775 and I'm on it like pink rubber bands on your little sister's braces. 19 00:01:53,942 --> 00:01:57,903 The name's Bobby Funke. I write for the paper. 20 00:01:58,070 --> 00:02:00,364 Wait. Wait a second. Who? 21 00:02:00,531 --> 00:02:04,409 - Bob-Bobby Funke. I write for the paper. - No, you don't. 22 00:02:04,576 --> 00:02:07,662 I'm Tad Goltz, and I write for the paper. You don't write for shit. 23 00:02:07,745 --> 00:02:10,665 Wait. Aren't you the freshman they tied to the snowman penis? 24 00:02:10,748 --> 00:02:13,667 Sophomore. 25 00:02:15,585 --> 00:02:18,838 Bobby, you can't expect us to give you a story like this... 26 00:02:19,047 --> 00:02:21,132 when's there's nothing written and there's hardly proof. 27 00:02:21,299 --> 00:02:25,553 Look, Clara, I'm the best writer you've got. Tell me differently. 28 00:02:25,719 --> 00:02:28,013 You've never finished an article. 29 00:02:30,390 --> 00:02:33,643 Well, then do you wanna go to homecoming with me? 30 00:02:33,726 --> 00:02:35,353 No. 31 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:39,356 Clara Diaz, editor in chief and one tough cookie. 32 00:02:39,523 --> 00:02:41,692 All I wanted was a taste. 33 00:02:46,571 --> 00:02:50,866 Friedrich Nietzsche said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." 34 00:02:51,033 --> 00:02:55,287 Bobby. But 10 bucks says Nietzsche never got a swirly. 35 00:02:55,454 --> 00:02:57,372 Can't talk right now, Clara. 36 00:02:57,539 --> 00:02:59,374 I feel really bad about what happened. 37 00:02:59,541 --> 00:03:02,627 I know you're going for that Northwestern program, and I have an assignment for you. 38 00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:05,629 Take you to homecoming? Heard you were going with Tad. 39 00:03:05,754 --> 00:03:08,632 - You know what Tad's short for, right? - Theodore? 40 00:03:08,715 --> 00:03:10,926 No. Vagina. 41 00:03:11,092 --> 00:03:12,844 Look it up. 42 00:03:13,011 --> 00:03:16,472 I want you to write a story on the student body president. 43 00:03:18,724 --> 00:03:20,017 - Really? - Really. 44 00:03:20,184 --> 00:03:22,686 Just get it on paper this time, okay? 45 00:03:22,853 --> 00:03:25,021 Okay. 46 00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:29,066 Finally, my big break. 47 00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:31,152 It was just the story I needed... 48 00:03:31,318 --> 00:03:33,362 to get into the Northwestern summerjournalism program. 49 00:03:33,529 --> 00:03:35,614 Instead of delivering papers this summer, 50 00:03:35,697 --> 00:03:38,616 I'd be well on my way to writing for them. 51 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,702 Give me a piece of loose-leaf. 52 00:03:42,995 --> 00:03:45,122 Come on. Give me a piece of loose-leaf. 53 00:03:47,791 --> 00:03:49,710 Give me a pen. 54 00:03:49,876 --> 00:03:51,795 What happened to the last pen I gave you? 55 00:03:51,961 --> 00:03:54,630 Give me a pen, Funky. Give me a pen. 56 00:03:54,714 --> 00:03:56,090 Take it. 57 00:04:04,097 --> 00:04:06,015 Everybody paid attention... 58 00:04:06,182 --> 00:04:09,519 when Francesca Fachini walked into a classroom. 59 00:04:09,685 --> 00:04:13,188 She was a National Merit scholar, the varsity soccer captain... 60 00:04:13,355 --> 00:04:16,525 and the president's girlfriend. 61 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:18,735 I'd interview her for the story... 62 00:04:18,902 --> 00:04:22,280 just as soon as I grew some testicles. 63 00:04:22,446 --> 00:04:25,324 - # Buenos días # - Buenos días. 64 00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:26,950 Senor Funky. 65 00:04:27,117 --> 00:04:28,785 # La tarea # 66 00:04:28,952 --> 00:04:30,662 What? 67 00:04:30,829 --> 00:04:32,288 # La tarea 68 00:04:32,455 --> 00:04:34,123 I'm... fine. How are you? 69 00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:36,334 # In Espanol # 70 00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:39,753 # In Espanol # Hmm? 71 00:04:41,838 --> 00:04:45,008 The president was a busy man, an important man, 72 00:04:45,175 --> 00:04:50,179 and he was about to give me the story of my high school career. 73 00:04:50,346 --> 00:04:53,515 Would you please state your name, year and social security number? 74 00:04:53,682 --> 00:04:56,101 Paul Moore. I'm a senior. 75 00:04:56,268 --> 00:04:58,311 I'm not gonna give you my soc. 76 00:04:58,478 --> 00:05:01,564 Aren't you the freshman they tied to the snowman penis? 77 00:05:01,731 --> 00:05:03,649 Sophomore. 78 00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:05,943 As president, how would you say you're gonna handle... 79 00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:08,654 the recent drop in A.C.T. And S.A.T. Scores? 80 00:05:10,697 --> 00:05:12,657 Well, what would you have me do about it? 81 00:05:15,743 --> 00:05:18,162 Seriously, you've seen me on the boards. 82 00:05:18,329 --> 00:05:20,998 I'll do whatever it takes to get it done, 83 00:05:21,165 --> 00:05:23,416 and that's a Paul Moore promise... 84 00:05:23,583 --> 00:05:27,420 to you, to St. Donovan's, to Paul Moore. 85 00:05:27,587 --> 00:05:30,631 - You know what I'm talking about? - Mi amor. 86 00:05:30,715 --> 00:05:32,633 Con regalo. 87 00:05:32,716 --> 00:05:34,510 Mi Amor. 88 00:05:34,676 --> 00:05:40,556 ♪ 89 00:05:40,723 --> 00:05:43,643 Buenos días, Senor Funky. 90 00:05:43,768 --> 00:05:46,353 ♪ 91 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,731 After 30 minutes in the shower, one thing was clear. 92 00:05:49,898 --> 00:05:53,026 Paul was all length and no depth. 93 00:05:53,193 --> 00:05:55,653 He didn't give you a whole lot. 94 00:05:55,736 --> 00:05:57,655 How could he not give you a whole lot? People love him. 95 00:05:57,780 --> 00:06:01,200 He's like fucking J.F.K. He's smart. He's charismatic. He's good-Iooking. 96 00:06:01,366 --> 00:06:03,285 He's a tenacious athlete. 97 00:06:03,452 --> 00:06:06,538 I'm sorry, Tad. I didn't realize you felt that way about him. 98 00:06:06,704 --> 00:06:08,664 It's sad. 99 00:06:08,748 --> 00:06:12,585 Ongatumamwe with the rebound. The man from Sudan. 100 00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:14,461 Come on! Call that! 101 00:06:14,628 --> 00:06:16,046 That's a time-out. Friars. 102 00:06:16,213 --> 00:06:17,964 Bring it in. Bring it in. 103 00:06:18,131 --> 00:06:19,924 What's going on out there, guys? 104 00:06:20,091 --> 00:06:23,010 Huh? You guys look like a dump that I took last Thanksgiving. 105 00:06:23,177 --> 00:06:26,680 - What's the matter, Pauley? - I don't know, Coach. I'm not feeling it. 106 00:06:26,764 --> 00:06:30,642 You got to feel it, son. You got to feel the flow and go. You understand? 107 00:06:30,725 --> 00:06:35,688 Son, you feel, flow, go, hoop, win. Pauley, ball game. 108 00:06:35,855 --> 00:06:39,358 No one understands why you got the Moore story instead of Tad Goltz. 109 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:42,652 I'm sure there's a lot you don't understand, Tad. 110 00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:45,488 Oh, yeah? Well, I understand art when I see it. 111 00:07:01,085 --> 00:07:02,962 Marlon Piazza, Bobby Funke. 112 00:07:03,129 --> 00:07:05,089 I write for the paper. I'm doing a piece on Paul Moore. 113 00:07:05,256 --> 00:07:07,132 - I was wondering... - Piss off, dork. 114 00:07:12,012 --> 00:07:13,930 Those gentle giants were the pillars... 115 00:07:14,097 --> 00:07:16,015 of St. Donovan's student council. 116 00:07:16,182 --> 00:07:20,310 Marlon Piazza, vice president and Francesca's step-brother. 117 00:07:20,477 --> 00:07:24,022 Matt Mullen, head hall monitor and noted date rapist. 118 00:07:24,189 --> 00:07:28,443 Marty Mullen, class secretary and former child underwear model. 119 00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,409 Oh, God. Oh, God. You hear that pop? 120 00:07:37,576 --> 00:07:40,119 - There was no pop. - Can we give Mr. Moore some room, please? 121 00:07:40,286 --> 00:07:42,330 - Watch out. - You all right, Paul? 122 00:07:42,497 --> 00:07:44,582 - Should we get him up? - Let's get him up. 123 00:07:44,748 --> 00:07:47,668 Come on, Paul. Snap it up. Snap it up! 124 00:07:47,793 --> 00:07:51,171 The basketball game wasn't all we lost that night. 125 00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,381 Like Nixon's men at Watergate, 126 00:07:53,548 --> 00:07:56,342 a thief crept in and stole our innocence. 127 00:08:16,359 --> 00:08:18,987 What kind of f'in' a-hole would do something like this, Nancy? 128 00:08:19,195 --> 00:08:22,657 - I don't know, sir. Should I call the police? - No. 129 00:08:23,824 --> 00:08:25,743 Bring me the list. 130 00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:28,829 Whenever trouble came to St. Donovan's, 131 00:08:28,996 --> 00:08:31,581 the principal rounded up the same ol' delinquents. 132 00:08:31,748 --> 00:08:34,625 But that dark morning, there was one new name on the list. 133 00:08:34,792 --> 00:08:37,628 - Bobby Funky? - Actually, it's pronounced "Funk." 134 00:08:37,753 --> 00:08:40,130 Principal's office, now. 135 00:08:42,257 --> 00:08:44,134 It feels nice in here. 136 00:08:44,301 --> 00:08:46,136 My ass itches. 137 00:08:47,262 --> 00:08:50,014 Who is this guy? 138 00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:52,474 - What's his name? - Bobby Funky. 139 00:08:52,641 --> 00:08:54,643 - Franky? - Funky. 140 00:08:54,726 --> 00:08:57,687 - Looks like a little gentleman. - He does? Look at him. 141 00:08:57,854 --> 00:09:01,190 - Looks like a stockbroker. - He's so little. Funky. 142 00:09:01,357 --> 00:09:03,109 Don't look at me. 143 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,819 What happened to your face, man? 144 00:09:04,985 --> 00:09:08,655 Look at it. It's like you have a culo on your face. 145 00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:10,657 Got a culo. 146 00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:14,619 Did you ever get a man on your back? 147 00:09:14,744 --> 00:09:16,537 Breathing hard? 148 00:09:16,704 --> 00:09:19,581 Riding you like a horse? 149 00:09:20,749 --> 00:09:22,501 No? 150 00:09:39,432 --> 00:09:41,351 I assume you all know why you're here. 151 00:09:42,518 --> 00:09:44,520 Let me guess. 152 00:09:44,687 --> 00:09:46,689 You finally wanna start that boy band you've been dreaming about. 153 00:09:46,855 --> 00:09:49,441 Landis, do I come down to the strip club where you work... 154 00:09:49,608 --> 00:09:51,526 and knock the dick out of your mouth? 155 00:09:51,693 --> 00:09:53,945 Against the wall. You're late. 156 00:09:56,197 --> 00:09:59,074 Actually, um... 157 00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:02,786 I'm not entirely certain why I'm here, sir. 158 00:10:02,953 --> 00:10:06,581 Really? It's fascinating. 159 00:10:08,749 --> 00:10:12,253 - This is why you're here. This. - That's sick. 160 00:10:12,419 --> 00:10:16,048 You've got a gum problem that's rapidly turning into an attitude problem. 161 00:10:16,214 --> 00:10:17,966 That's why you're here. 162 00:10:20,260 --> 00:10:22,136 I don't like gum. 163 00:10:24,096 --> 00:10:25,973 I don't like your snooping around. 164 00:10:27,391 --> 00:10:30,227 You are all filth. 165 00:10:30,393 --> 00:10:32,687 Your parents have obviously spoiled you... 166 00:10:32,771 --> 00:10:37,525 or, in your case, possibly abused you a little too much. 167 00:10:39,318 --> 00:10:42,404 Now, one of you little vermin... 168 00:10:42,571 --> 00:10:46,241 broke into this office and stole the S.A.T.'s last night. 169 00:10:47,950 --> 00:10:49,952 Of this I am certain. 170 00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:56,416 I beg you, I beseech you do not come forward... 171 00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:59,878 because I will have the pleasure of tracking you down, 172 00:11:00,044 --> 00:11:04,673 much the same way that I tracked down that camel-humping ammunitions envoy... 173 00:11:04,757 --> 00:11:07,468 two clicks east of Tigris, 174 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,636 the birthplace of civilization. 175 00:11:10,762 --> 00:11:12,680 Mr. Cipriato. 176 00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:17,810 - Do you know the arabic word "laa hriiq"? - No. 177 00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:23,648 It means, "Don't shoot. Don't shoot." 178 00:11:23,773 --> 00:11:26,609 You may wanna remember that. 179 00:11:26,776 --> 00:11:28,653 Dismissed. 180 00:11:53,591 --> 00:11:55,676 Hey, Francesca. 181 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,678 Hey, Funky. 182 00:12:05,477 --> 00:12:09,772 So, um, what are you doing in the men's room? 183 00:12:11,649 --> 00:12:14,193 Well, I thought I might find a man in here. 184 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,319 Are you a man, Funky? 185 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,745 I'm just screwing with you. 186 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,872 I just need your help. 187 00:12:29,039 --> 00:12:30,999 With what? 188 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:34,711 Whoever stole the S.A.T.'s, I need you to find them and get them back. 189 00:12:37,797 --> 00:12:41,675 I aced that thing. I know it. I was just in a zone. 190 00:12:42,843 --> 00:12:46,137 - Do you know what "mastication" means? - No. 191 00:12:46,304 --> 00:12:49,557 Me neither, but in that moment, I did. 192 00:12:49,724 --> 00:12:51,725 It was perfect. 193 00:12:51,892 --> 00:12:53,936 I need you to find those tests. 194 00:12:55,145 --> 00:12:57,022 Why me? 195 00:12:59,023 --> 00:13:02,527 I don't know. I've got a feeling about you, Funky. 196 00:13:02,693 --> 00:13:04,612 This stuff's right up your alley. 197 00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:15,538 So do you have any idea of who might have taken the S.A.T.'s? 198 00:13:15,705 --> 00:13:17,623 We took the S.A.T.'s? 199 00:13:17,790 --> 00:13:20,709 L... I didn't. I didn't. 200 00:13:20,793 --> 00:13:23,712 - Did you take them? - No, I didn't take them. 201 00:13:23,879 --> 00:13:25,839 Everyone was in their classrooms. 202 00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,716 That's what all the commotion was about. 203 00:13:30,801 --> 00:13:32,678 Okay, where were you last night? 204 00:13:37,474 --> 00:13:40,310 That's where I was last night. 205 00:13:58,409 --> 00:14:03,121 # Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi-yi # 206 00:14:03,288 --> 00:14:06,833 # Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi # 207 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,918 Hey, Funky. 208 00:14:09,085 --> 00:14:11,378 Funky, want a gum ball? 209 00:14:11,545 --> 00:14:13,714 It's good. It's soft. It's sweet. 210 00:14:13,881 --> 00:14:15,716 I'm not falling for the gum ball trick, Cipriato. 211 00:14:15,882 --> 00:14:18,885 So you can put your ball bag back in your pants. 212 00:14:19,052 --> 00:14:21,763 What's it like sucking on another man's fingers? 213 00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,974 - What's it like stealing the S.A.T.'s? - I asked you first. 214 00:14:25,141 --> 00:14:28,727 # Ay, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi # 215 00:14:28,894 --> 00:14:30,687 Where were you that night? 216 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,856 - What do you care? - I'm writing your biography. 217 00:14:33,022 --> 00:14:35,691 Fine. Let me copy off you, and I'll tell you. 218 00:14:37,401 --> 00:14:39,570 Fine. 219 00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:44,032 I was at the Park Arms with my nana playing bingo. 220 00:14:44,199 --> 00:14:47,535 I got 30 fucking geriatrics that can back that up. 221 00:14:48,703 --> 00:14:52,581 - I'm touched, Cipriato. - Not a word, Funky. 222 00:14:58,128 --> 00:15:00,046 After tailing Landis, 223 00:15:00,213 --> 00:15:03,049 I discovered her secret life outside of school. 224 00:15:05,634 --> 00:15:07,469 She opened up... 225 00:15:07,636 --> 00:15:10,722 once I promised to keep her ice capades under wraps. 226 00:15:10,889 --> 00:15:13,433 I don't know who took them, Nancy Drew, 227 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,476 but I do know it happened during the game. 228 00:15:15,643 --> 00:15:17,561 I was out in the parking lot last night, 229 00:15:17,728 --> 00:15:21,148 and I saw some flashlights bounce around in Kirkpatrick's office. 230 00:15:21,315 --> 00:15:23,567 What were you doing in the parking lot? 231 00:15:23,733 --> 00:15:25,693 I was probably getting fingered by Dutch Middleton. 232 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,197 Okay. 233 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,408 Thanks, Landis. 234 00:15:32,575 --> 00:15:34,576 Long time no see, Rocky. 235 00:15:34,743 --> 00:15:36,703 - Weekends and holidays, man. - Thanks. 236 00:15:36,787 --> 00:15:38,705 Did you do it? 237 00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:40,915 - No. You? - I wish. 238 00:15:41,082 --> 00:15:43,709 Those tests are the tool of the racist bourgeoises. 239 00:15:43,793 --> 00:15:45,711 Get back to your cage, butt boy. 240 00:15:48,797 --> 00:15:50,924 Last night? Nah, man. 241 00:15:51,091 --> 00:15:54,677 I got picked up for possession. Spent the night in holding. 242 00:15:54,761 --> 00:16:00,224 It's creepy. You know. It's fucked up. Ooh. 243 00:16:00,391 --> 00:16:02,309 That's some alibi. 244 00:16:02,476 --> 00:16:05,520 Fuck it. Fuck it. Hold this. This is my jam, man. Ooh! 245 00:16:05,687 --> 00:16:08,731 Gracias. 246 00:16:10,775 --> 00:16:12,026 Ooh! 247 00:16:12,193 --> 00:16:15,279 # I'm on the wire 248 00:16:15,445 --> 00:16:16,696 # I'm on the wire # 249 00:16:16,863 --> 00:16:19,699 None of these bad apples had stolen the tests. 250 00:16:19,782 --> 00:16:23,661 Their alibis were like Dutch ovens... gamey, but airtight. 251 00:16:24,787 --> 00:16:26,789 Maybe I was looking at it all wrong. 252 00:16:26,955 --> 00:16:28,874 Maybe a good kid was behind it. 253 00:16:29,041 --> 00:16:30,709 What scares you, Funky? 254 00:16:30,792 --> 00:16:33,711 You know what scares me? Injustice. 255 00:16:33,878 --> 00:16:36,714 You know why? Because it's everywhere. 256 00:16:36,839 --> 00:16:40,551 You think I don't see Cipriato behind me jerking off right now? 257 00:16:40,717 --> 00:16:44,554 He's a dead man. I'll deal with him. 258 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:48,099 But the thing about fighting injustice... 259 00:16:48,266 --> 00:16:51,268 is choosing your battles wisely, 260 00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:55,689 and my battle right now is to find out where are my missing S.A.T.'s. 261 00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:02,695 Now, I don't know your involvement in all of this, Funky, 262 00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:05,197 but I'm watching you. 263 00:17:05,364 --> 00:17:08,700 I got both eyes open, and they're on you. 264 00:17:08,784 --> 00:17:11,494 - You read me? - Yes. Yes. 265 00:17:11,661 --> 00:17:14,789 You bleed, Funky. We all bleed. 266 00:17:14,956 --> 00:17:17,583 Thank you, sir. 267 00:17:19,793 --> 00:17:23,713 Tad, am I gonna get my story on the girls bowling team any time soon? 268 00:17:23,797 --> 00:17:25,715 Get off my fucking back, Clara. 269 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:30,678 - Nobody gives two shits about girls bowling. - I give two shits, okay? 270 00:17:30,803 --> 00:17:34,264 How many more shits do I need to get a story from you, Tad? And Bobby? 271 00:17:37,017 --> 00:17:41,145 - Yeah? - Where's my story on Paul Moore? 272 00:17:44,815 --> 00:17:46,984 Paul was a good kid. 273 00:17:47,151 --> 00:17:49,069 Maybe his bum knee wasn't so bad. 274 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,697 Maybe my puff piece was no pastry. It's on its way. 275 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:56,659 So, um, how long, uh... 276 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,827 So how did Paul's knee look that night? 277 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,956 Okay. Why? 278 00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:06,334 Well, because, Nurse Platt, Paul injured it. 279 00:18:06,501 --> 00:18:08,419 That's why they brought him here. 280 00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:10,212 Oh. 281 00:18:10,379 --> 00:18:12,673 I thought he had diarrhea, 282 00:18:12,798 --> 00:18:14,716 but he was limping, 283 00:18:14,841 --> 00:18:18,094 so I guess he did hurt his little stem. 284 00:18:18,261 --> 00:18:20,138 Yeah. 285 00:18:22,265 --> 00:18:24,183 Okay. 286 00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:26,477 So, um, were you... 287 00:18:26,643 --> 00:18:29,521 here with him in the office the whole time? - Yeah. 288 00:18:29,688 --> 00:18:31,856 Well, except I got hungry, 289 00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,900 and Paul said I should get something to eat. 290 00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:35,902 His treat. 291 00:18:36,068 --> 00:18:39,405 So I went across the street and got a gyro at that Greek place, 292 00:18:39,571 --> 00:18:42,032 Little Spiro's. 293 00:18:42,199 --> 00:18:45,618 Have you ever been there? It's so good. 294 00:18:45,785 --> 00:18:49,914 Do you mean to tell me that Paul was alone in here? 295 00:18:50,081 --> 00:18:53,375 I mean, so good. 296 00:18:54,835 --> 00:18:58,171 How long did you leave Paul on his own that night? 297 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:03,426 Um, hey, D., 298 00:19:03,592 --> 00:19:07,471 when I go get Greek food, how long does it take me? 299 00:19:07,638 --> 00:19:10,182 - About 20 minutes, a little more or less. - Mm. 300 00:19:10,348 --> 00:19:12,225 Hey, what's up, Franky? 301 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,937 Just get me the sandwich. 302 00:19:16,103 --> 00:19:20,482 Yeah, I want a foot-long spicy Italian sausage. That's right. 303 00:19:20,649 --> 00:19:22,693 Yeah. I got one, and I want one. 304 00:19:22,818 --> 00:19:24,736 Yeah, see, that's a double entendre. 305 00:19:24,778 --> 00:19:28,364 Yeah. That's right. I coached English for two seasons. 306 00:19:28,531 --> 00:19:31,075 I got to go. I got to go. 307 00:19:31,242 --> 00:19:33,410 Ay, yi, yi. 308 00:19:33,577 --> 00:19:36,830 - So where were we? - Um... Uh, Paul Moore's college prospects. 309 00:19:36,997 --> 00:19:39,624 You know, grades have never been Paul's strong suit. 310 00:19:39,791 --> 00:19:41,751 But if he wants to go lvy, he'll get in. 311 00:19:41,918 --> 00:19:44,712 Believe me, that boy will do whatever it takes to win. 312 00:19:44,795 --> 00:19:47,714 That's P.M.W. That is the Paul Moore Way. 313 00:19:47,798 --> 00:19:50,467 P. Moore! P. Moore! 314 00:19:50,634 --> 00:19:52,761 The coach gave me Paul's motive. 315 00:19:52,927 --> 00:19:54,846 The nurse, opportunity. 316 00:19:55,012 --> 00:19:56,931 My guts said I had my guy, 317 00:19:57,098 --> 00:19:59,683 but on my way home, I realized I needed an inside source... 318 00:19:59,808 --> 00:20:02,436 to back it all up. 319 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:06,189 I also needed to get my license. 320 00:20:06,356 --> 00:20:09,692 Lately, me and the D.M.V. Weren't seeing eye to eye. 321 00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,694 When parking along a curb on an uphill slope, 322 00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:14,696 we turn our wheels to the... Nope. 323 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:17,240 When there's a yellow light, we approach the intersection at a nice... 324 00:20:17,407 --> 00:20:19,701 Nope. 325 00:20:19,784 --> 00:20:23,162 And when we come to an object in the road like... 326 00:20:23,329 --> 00:20:25,748 A dog, we... 327 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,710 Nope. 328 00:20:32,629 --> 00:20:35,298 I was looking for a corroboration on my story. 329 00:20:35,465 --> 00:20:39,385 Woodward and Bernstein had their Deep Throat. I needed mine. 330 00:20:39,551 --> 00:20:41,511 Fortunately, I knew just the girl. 331 00:20:41,678 --> 00:20:43,597 She sounded hesitant on the phone... 332 00:20:43,763 --> 00:20:46,266 but told me where I could find her. 333 00:20:49,018 --> 00:20:50,895 Hey, Chrissy? 334 00:20:52,062 --> 00:20:54,565 I'm a friend of your brother Paul. 335 00:20:57,817 --> 00:20:59,694 No. No, you're not. 336 00:20:59,819 --> 00:21:02,238 How do you know? 337 00:21:03,364 --> 00:21:05,699 Okay. 338 00:21:05,824 --> 00:21:08,952 Well, um... Has Paul ever taken you to one of his games before? 339 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:12,288 You're a high schooler and you don't have a car? 340 00:21:12,455 --> 00:21:14,457 Why don't you have a car? 341 00:21:14,624 --> 00:21:16,959 That's irrelevant, Chrissy. 342 00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:19,878 Nice sandwich. 343 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:22,255 I want a unicorn. 344 00:21:22,422 --> 00:21:25,467 Um, neat. 345 00:21:25,633 --> 00:21:29,011 You know, when I was your age, I wanted a pet giraffe. 346 00:21:29,178 --> 00:21:31,597 Giraffes suck. 347 00:21:31,764 --> 00:21:35,726 Get me a unicorn, and I'll tell you so many secrets about Paul. 348 00:21:35,809 --> 00:21:37,727 Very secret secrets. 349 00:21:38,812 --> 00:21:41,647 Here's the thing, Chrissy. 350 00:21:41,814 --> 00:21:43,899 Unicorns don't actually exist. 351 00:21:44,066 --> 00:21:47,277 Stuffed animal unicorn, doofus. 352 00:21:49,571 --> 00:21:51,448 Oh. 353 00:21:51,614 --> 00:21:54,200 All right! 354 00:22:00,205 --> 00:22:03,500 Chrissy Moore was one unicorn well spent. 355 00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:05,668 After she filled in the blanks, 356 00:22:05,794 --> 00:22:08,713 my story was right there in front of me, 357 00:22:08,796 --> 00:22:11,173 but I still had no solid proof. 358 00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:14,176 Were my hunches enough to write the article? 359 00:22:18,596 --> 00:22:20,640 Fuck it. Woodward and Bernstein. 360 00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:25,728 Hey! I won't tell you again, Ongatumamwe. 361 00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:27,938 This is P. Moore shampoo. 362 00:22:28,105 --> 00:22:31,191 I've got enough clout around here to get your ass deported for less. 363 00:22:35,987 --> 00:22:37,905 You, uh, fellas here for the cockfight? 364 00:22:54,419 --> 00:22:58,506 Yo. This story's gonna start, like, a friggin' coup d'état in this bitch. 365 00:22:59,632 --> 00:23:01,759 Thanks, man. I like your dreads. 366 00:23:12,727 --> 00:23:15,396 Funky. It was nice. 367 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,901 Listen. I didn't do anything. 368 00:23:21,068 --> 00:23:24,237 I didn't do anything. This is crazy. 369 00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:27,699 I didn't do anything. Hey, I'm the president. 370 00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:29,742 I'm the president. I'm Paul Moore. 371 00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:33,579 I'm Paul Moore. I didn't do any... I didn't do anything. 372 00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:35,706 It's all right. I didn't do anything. Don't worry. 373 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,749 Open it up. 374 00:23:37,832 --> 00:23:39,584 - I didn't do... - Open it up. 375 00:23:46,507 --> 00:23:50,051 I don't... I don't know where those... Those aren't Paul Moore's. 376 00:23:50,218 --> 00:23:52,762 I don't... I don't... 377 00:23:52,846 --> 00:23:54,764 I don't know how those got... 378 00:23:54,847 --> 00:23:56,224 Let's go. 379 00:23:56,390 --> 00:23:59,143 Come on, Paul. Don't fight it. 380 00:23:59,310 --> 00:24:01,812 This is crazy. I'm a... I'm a patsy. 381 00:24:01,979 --> 00:24:03,939 I'm a patsy! 382 00:24:05,774 --> 00:24:08,609 But in the end, Paul Moore kept his promise. 383 00:24:08,776 --> 00:24:12,946 He did whatever it took to get the job done, even the unthinkable. 384 00:24:13,113 --> 00:24:16,324 P.M.W., the Paul Moore Way. 385 00:24:16,491 --> 00:24:20,745 The name's Bobby Funke. I write for the paper. 386 00:24:29,086 --> 00:24:31,087 So I just want everyone to know... 387 00:24:31,254 --> 00:24:34,215 that I am submitting this article to the Northwestern people... 388 00:24:34,382 --> 00:24:36,008 with my highest recommendation. 389 00:24:47,685 --> 00:24:50,813 - Whoa! - Funky! 390 00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:54,399 I wanted to thank you for finding the S.A.T.'s... 391 00:24:54,566 --> 00:24:56,860 and for showing me what a douche Paul really is. 392 00:24:59,154 --> 00:25:02,448 See, the thing is, I seem to have lost my date to homecoming, 393 00:25:02,615 --> 00:25:04,533 and I wanted to know if you'd go with me. 394 00:25:04,700 --> 00:25:07,744 - You wanna go to homecoming with me? - Well, not like, "Go, go." 395 00:25:07,911 --> 00:25:09,287 - Not like for real. - Yeah. 396 00:25:09,454 --> 00:25:12,165 - Everyone has a date, except the mathletes... - Right. 397 00:25:12,332 --> 00:25:15,460 And then maybe that wrestler with the jock itch on his face. 398 00:25:15,626 --> 00:25:19,672 So, yeah. The only person I can go with is you. 399 00:25:19,797 --> 00:25:22,716 I still don't see... 400 00:25:22,799 --> 00:25:24,968 why you wanna go with me. 401 00:25:25,135 --> 00:25:27,720 Yeah, why not? You're like the school's Wolf Blitzer now. 402 00:25:27,804 --> 00:25:30,306 Well, Wolf Blitzer's like a TV reporter. 403 00:25:30,473 --> 00:25:32,725 I'm into Woodward and Bernstein. 404 00:25:32,808 --> 00:25:35,269 You already have a date? 405 00:25:35,435 --> 00:25:38,188 What? No. I just... 406 00:25:38,355 --> 00:25:41,816 Great. Then you can pick me up at 8:00. 407 00:25:41,983 --> 00:25:45,110 Oh, and no wrist corsages. Get the kind with the pin. 408 00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:47,738 I don't mind a little prick every once in a while. 409 00:25:50,574 --> 00:25:54,118 St. Donovan's, good morning. This is your principal, Mr. Kirkpatrick. 410 00:25:54,285 --> 00:25:57,830 As you know, uh, there's been a regime change here at the school, 411 00:25:57,997 --> 00:26:01,208 and your new president, Marlon "Piezza," is gonna say a few words. 412 00:26:01,375 --> 00:26:02,751 - Piazza. - What? 413 00:26:02,834 --> 00:26:04,502 Marlon Piazza. 414 00:26:04,669 --> 00:26:07,755 - What, is that Italian? - Uh, I think so. 415 00:26:07,839 --> 00:26:11,050 Marlon Piazza is gonna say a few words to you, so stand by. 416 00:26:11,217 --> 00:26:13,635 You're on the air. No f'in around, huh? 417 00:26:13,802 --> 00:26:16,721 Thank you, sir. 418 00:26:16,805 --> 00:26:18,723 Fellow students, 419 00:26:18,807 --> 00:26:22,685 this has been a difficult time for all of us. 420 00:26:22,810 --> 00:26:25,729 But do not lose faith in this institution, 421 00:26:25,813 --> 00:26:29,733 because from great tragedy comes great triumph. 422 00:26:29,816 --> 00:26:34,529 Let me be the first to say that the actions of your next president... 423 00:26:40,826 --> 00:26:43,286 It's open. 424 00:26:59,300 --> 00:27:01,177 Hey, Marlon. 425 00:27:21,612 --> 00:27:24,990 So is it true that she got a perfect score on her S.A.T.'s? 426 00:27:25,156 --> 00:27:27,325 Yeah. Her freshman year. 427 00:27:27,492 --> 00:27:29,827 I'll let you play with her tits for 20 bucks. 428 00:27:33,038 --> 00:27:36,458 Hi, Funky. You're good. 429 00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:38,710 It's a nice place you got here. 430 00:27:38,835 --> 00:27:41,337 Have a good look while you can. 431 00:27:41,504 --> 00:27:43,756 I doubt you'd be coming by again. 432 00:27:56,726 --> 00:27:59,520 I guess that I should congratulate you on your new presidency. 433 00:27:59,687 --> 00:28:03,690 Isn't it funny how someone can be your average cakewalk V.P. One day... 434 00:28:03,857 --> 00:28:05,775 and then head of the school the next? 435 00:28:05,859 --> 00:28:09,779 Yeah. It's like how someone can be the school joke one day... 436 00:28:09,862 --> 00:28:12,781 and then go to homecoming with the hottest girl at St. Donovan's the next. 437 00:28:12,865 --> 00:28:14,783 She's, like, your half sister, right? 438 00:28:14,867 --> 00:28:16,034 Stepsister. 439 00:28:17,869 --> 00:28:19,746 Hey, Funky. 440 00:28:19,829 --> 00:28:21,789 Hey, Francesca. 441 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:29,755 Wow. You look... awesome. 442 00:28:29,838 --> 00:28:32,757 Thanks. You look pretty good yourself. 443 00:28:32,841 --> 00:28:35,426 I like your shoes. 444 00:28:35,593 --> 00:28:39,346 Oh, she doesn't have to go to the hospital again, does she? 445 00:28:39,513 --> 00:28:40,764 Nyah. 446 00:28:40,889 --> 00:28:42,557 Is your car out front? 447 00:28:42,724 --> 00:28:46,728 Oh, well, it's such a nice night, I thought that we could walk. 448 00:28:50,856 --> 00:28:53,817 ♪ 449 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,996 # I'm coming up only 450 00:29:08,163 --> 00:29:10,832 # To hold you under 451 00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:15,878 Sorry about that. I just can't seem to get away from my friends sometimes. 452 00:29:16,045 --> 00:29:17,880 # I'm coming up only 453 00:29:18,047 --> 00:29:20,716 Yeah. I know what you mean. 454 00:29:20,841 --> 00:29:23,635 You still want that dance? 455 00:29:25,887 --> 00:29:28,473 ♪ Quantum physics is bullshit. 456 00:29:28,639 --> 00:29:32,142 You know? You don't know what is inside of a black hole, 457 00:29:32,309 --> 00:29:37,063 because, you know, stuff goes in, 458 00:29:37,230 --> 00:29:39,899 but nothing comes out. 459 00:29:40,066 --> 00:29:42,944 Just like Laura Hoffner's box. 460 00:29:43,110 --> 00:29:45,279 Mm-hmm. 461 00:29:46,488 --> 00:29:48,657 # To the outside 462 00:29:48,824 --> 00:29:52,577 # The dead leaves They are alive # 463 00:29:55,455 --> 00:29:59,250 # For they don't have trees 464 00:29:59,416 --> 00:30:04,754 # To hang their hearts 465 00:30:04,879 --> 00:30:07,799 # Ooh, ooh 466 00:30:07,882 --> 00:30:10,801 ♪ You think I'm a bitch, don't you? 467 00:30:10,968 --> 00:30:15,055 I mean, you can be honest. I don't care either way. I'm just curious. 468 00:30:16,264 --> 00:30:18,808 Do you think I'm a bitch? 469 00:30:18,975 --> 00:30:21,602 Um... 470 00:30:21,769 --> 00:30:23,646 Kind of. 471 00:30:23,813 --> 00:30:26,357 - Seriously? - No. No. L... 472 00:30:26,523 --> 00:30:28,775 I thought you were, but... And then... 473 00:30:28,942 --> 00:30:32,028 I don't know. Now I think that maybe you're just... 474 00:30:32,195 --> 00:30:34,739 Misunderstood. 475 00:30:36,199 --> 00:30:38,534 Nobody's misunderstood. 476 00:30:38,701 --> 00:30:41,703 That's just what people say when they don't like who they are. 477 00:30:44,831 --> 00:30:49,293 If you think I'm a bitch, then I guess it's because I am. 478 00:30:49,460 --> 00:30:51,754 But then I guess you're gonna have to come to terms... 479 00:30:51,837 --> 00:30:54,923 with the fact that you're into a girl who's a bitch. 480 00:30:56,883 --> 00:30:59,219 Well, how do you feel about newspaper dorks? 481 00:30:59,385 --> 00:31:02,221 I'll let you know when I see one. 482 00:31:02,388 --> 00:31:04,890 # And every occasion of 483 00:31:05,057 --> 00:31:08,977 # One brilliant day funeral # 484 00:31:14,691 --> 00:31:16,525 Great. ♪ 485 00:31:16,692 --> 00:31:20,654 You know, I better go get Marlon before Kirkpatrick castrates him. 486 00:31:22,656 --> 00:31:24,616 Thanks for the dance, Funky. 487 00:31:26,201 --> 00:31:27,702 # You got to rock to the rhythm with 'em # 488 00:31:27,827 --> 00:31:29,245 # You got to give it to 'em 489 00:31:29,412 --> 00:31:31,622 # Got to give a lot More than the minimum # 490 00:31:31,789 --> 00:31:32,831 # Rock to the rhythm with 'em # 491 00:31:32,998 --> 00:31:34,166 # Got to give it to 'em 492 00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:36,460 # Got to give a lot More, more, more, more # 493 00:31:36,626 --> 00:31:38,837 # Hey, yo, wake up, wake up It's a new day # 494 00:31:39,003 --> 00:31:42,048 # Now, sidestep, right, left flow when I break down # 495 00:31:42,215 --> 00:31:44,633 # How I get down Make 'em all sit down # 496 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,469 # Either that, or I'll have to hurry into strip town # 497 00:31:47,636 --> 00:31:49,429 Hey, douche. 498 00:31:49,596 --> 00:31:51,931 I think that chick just "wink-ed" at me. 499 00:31:53,308 --> 00:31:55,768 - Well, she's not bad. - Yeah, for a pirate. 500 00:31:57,603 --> 00:31:59,772 I'm gonna go spit in the punch. 501 00:32:02,858 --> 00:32:06,277 Hey. You, uh, light on your feet, Funky. 502 00:32:06,444 --> 00:32:07,862 - That's good. - Thanks. 503 00:32:08,029 --> 00:32:09,947 But we notice you're having a problem out there. 504 00:32:10,114 --> 00:32:11,574 I do? What? 505 00:32:11,740 --> 00:32:13,575 ♪ It's your hard-on. 506 00:32:13,742 --> 00:32:16,703 Yeah. That close to a girl like her, it's natural. 507 00:32:16,870 --> 00:32:19,372 I didn't realize it was so obvious. 508 00:32:19,539 --> 00:32:21,791 What you're gonna wanna do, okay, 509 00:32:21,874 --> 00:32:25,669 is you tuck that thing into the side of your boxer shorts so it runs down the leg. 510 00:32:25,836 --> 00:32:27,921 That way you can contain it. 511 00:32:28,088 --> 00:32:31,007 It's like getting a stiff rod while you're taking a dump. 512 00:32:31,174 --> 00:32:32,550 A shit boner. 513 00:32:32,717 --> 00:32:35,136 Then you got to jam it into the bowl like it owes you money. 514 00:32:35,303 --> 00:32:38,514 But you don't want to dunk it. It's not a clown. Woop! 515 00:32:38,681 --> 00:32:42,017 But you also don't want to get the peepee on your shirt. 516 00:32:42,184 --> 00:32:44,060 It's a no-win situation. 517 00:32:47,939 --> 00:32:51,942 At ease, gentlemen. Erections or otherwise. 518 00:32:52,109 --> 00:32:56,071 I remember similar conversations with my men... 519 00:32:56,238 --> 00:32:59,324 when we were tracking the towel heads through their tariques. 520 00:33:01,034 --> 00:33:04,328 Pitch-black little spider holes, no wider than a hula hoop. 521 00:33:04,495 --> 00:33:08,165 The... Like the Charlotte... The web. 522 00:33:08,332 --> 00:33:10,417 - The... In... - Do you understand what he's saying? 523 00:33:12,877 --> 00:33:15,796 Fear, Mr. Delacruz. That's what I'm talking about. Fear. 524 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,548 Sí. 525 00:33:17,715 --> 00:33:22,803 Fear is the middle name of war, Mr. Delacruz. I learned that in the Storm. 526 00:33:22,928 --> 00:33:25,013 What is the Storm, sir? 527 00:33:27,557 --> 00:33:31,852 Two hundred and thirteen days in-country. Terrible heat. 528 00:33:32,019 --> 00:33:36,356 The sound of mortar fire day and night ringing in your ears. 529 00:33:37,857 --> 00:33:39,776 The occasional dog exploding. 530 00:33:39,859 --> 00:33:42,153 - Yeah? - But I used to lead men, 531 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,780 men that reminded me of you, Mr. Funky. 532 00:33:46,865 --> 00:33:48,867 - On your feet, son. - Oh. 533 00:33:51,995 --> 00:33:55,790 I wanna thank you for your help in getting those S.A.T.'s back. 534 00:33:55,957 --> 00:33:58,792 Yeah. Don't worry about it. 535 00:33:58,876 --> 00:34:02,838 - I'm sorry for being such a jerk-off. - It's okay. 536 00:34:03,004 --> 00:34:07,800 If I ever catch you chewing that in class, I'll kill you. 537 00:34:07,925 --> 00:34:10,803 - You read me? - Like CliffNotes, sir. 538 00:34:10,886 --> 00:34:14,056 Good. Go out there and have a good time. 539 00:34:29,903 --> 00:34:30,946 How's it feel? 540 00:34:31,154 --> 00:34:33,531 Like I just got punched in the mouth. 541 00:34:33,698 --> 00:34:35,616 My life is over now, dick. 542 00:34:35,783 --> 00:34:37,701 I didn't steal those S.A.T.'s. 543 00:34:37,868 --> 00:34:40,788 Then where were you between 7:45 and 8: 10 that night? 544 00:34:40,871 --> 00:34:44,541 Who the hell do you think you are? Inspector Gadget? 545 00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:48,127 You really think I'd chance everything for a test score? 546 00:34:48,294 --> 00:34:50,755 I'd already gotten into Cornell. 547 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,298 Then why did you take the S.A.T.'s again? 548 00:34:53,465 --> 00:34:56,676 I just wanted to see if I could do better. 549 00:34:56,843 --> 00:35:00,513 Man, you wouldn't know the truth if it were staring you in the face. 550 00:35:09,479 --> 00:35:12,315 Hello, Cornell. Good-bye, motive. 551 00:35:12,482 --> 00:35:14,400 I still thought Paul was an asshole, 552 00:35:14,567 --> 00:35:18,362 but maybe he wasn't the kind of asshole who'd steal the S.A.T.'s. 553 00:35:18,529 --> 00:35:22,657 That sting wasn't my mouth. I was starting to doubt my story. 554 00:35:25,869 --> 00:35:28,913 Well done, Bobby. You got into the Northwestern program. 555 00:35:32,666 --> 00:35:34,459 Wait. One more thing. 556 00:35:34,668 --> 00:35:37,712 Some grad student, Striedel, will be in contact to fact-check the article. 557 00:35:37,879 --> 00:35:40,965 It's just a formality. You're on your way. 558 00:35:46,387 --> 00:35:49,056 Sure I was on my way, to the gallows. 559 00:35:49,222 --> 00:35:52,475 If I didn't set the story straight before the fact-checker found something crooked, 560 00:35:52,642 --> 00:35:54,936 Northwestern would go south, 561 00:35:55,103 --> 00:35:57,730 and then I'd be blacklisted from every paper and college journalism program... 562 00:35:57,897 --> 00:35:59,815 in the country. 563 00:36:01,984 --> 00:36:03,902 And school suspension... 564 00:36:04,069 --> 00:36:08,364 cruel and unusual punishment reserved solely for dangerous offenders. 565 00:36:08,531 --> 00:36:10,449 Rocky was on permanent lockdown... 566 00:36:10,616 --> 00:36:13,786 for doing a custom paint job on Kirkpatrick's car. 567 00:36:27,256 --> 00:36:29,966 I'm gonna need five minutes with Moore. 568 00:36:32,135 --> 00:36:34,012 You got three. 569 00:36:42,936 --> 00:36:45,897 Aren't you supposed to be in homeroom? 570 00:36:46,064 --> 00:36:49,233 - Maybe I got to thinking. - Maybe you should've done that sooner. 571 00:36:56,323 --> 00:36:58,116 Where were you that night? 572 00:36:58,283 --> 00:37:00,285 You think it's that easy? 573 00:37:00,451 --> 00:37:03,663 You think I can just tell you and it's gonna set it all straight? 574 00:37:03,829 --> 00:37:06,290 Take a look around you, Funky. 575 00:37:06,457 --> 00:37:09,793 - I'm screwed now no matter what I say. - Then just tell me the truth. 576 00:37:15,715 --> 00:37:20,094 If you didn't do it, I'm all you got. 577 00:37:20,260 --> 00:37:22,846 And you only got me for one more minute, so spill it. 578 00:37:23,013 --> 00:37:24,889 Come on. 579 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:31,854 Last year I did some things on the basketball court... 580 00:37:32,021 --> 00:37:33,939 I'm not exactly proud of. 581 00:37:34,106 --> 00:37:35,524 Like what? 582 00:37:35,691 --> 00:37:39,444 Like shaving points. Twice last season. 583 00:37:39,652 --> 00:37:43,614 It was two times too many, and I only did it 'cause I needed the money. 584 00:37:45,866 --> 00:37:48,410 - What for? - It doesn't matter. 585 00:37:48,577 --> 00:37:52,664 When I was approached this year, I turned 'em down. 586 00:37:52,831 --> 00:37:56,375 We had a shot at State. I wasn't gonna mess that up for my senior year. 587 00:37:56,542 --> 00:37:58,794 So this person who approached you, 588 00:37:58,919 --> 00:38:01,797 you think that... that, uh, he may have set you up? 589 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:05,342 I don't know. Maybe. 590 00:38:13,015 --> 00:38:15,892 Give me his name. What's his name, Moore? 591 00:38:16,059 --> 00:38:20,188 Look, if you don't get cooperative, I can't help you. 592 00:38:20,355 --> 00:38:23,190 - You've got to give me his name now. - Start thinking with your head. 593 00:38:23,357 --> 00:38:25,693 Do you know the amount of power that comes with the presidency? 594 00:38:25,859 --> 00:38:28,362 - Everybody wants a piece of me. - All right. Time's up, Funky. 595 00:38:28,528 --> 00:38:31,448 You're getting the animals all riled up. 596 00:38:33,324 --> 00:38:35,910 What's his name, Moore? 597 00:38:36,077 --> 00:38:38,829 - Look, I said time's up. - Give me his name. 598 00:38:38,913 --> 00:38:40,706 - Come on. - What's his name? 599 00:38:40,914 --> 00:38:43,792 - Freddy Bismark. - Where do I find him? Moore! 600 00:38:51,924 --> 00:38:55,636 Bobby Funky, please report to the office immediately. 601 00:38:57,637 --> 00:38:59,556 - Hello? - Robert Funky? 602 00:38:59,722 --> 00:39:02,266 Hey. Yeah. Well, actually, it's pronounced "Funk." 603 00:39:02,433 --> 00:39:05,186 No, it's not. This is Ben Striedel at Northwestern University. 604 00:39:05,352 --> 00:39:07,312 I'm fact-checking your story here, chief. 605 00:39:07,479 --> 00:39:10,607 - It's not bad. Not exactly good either. - Excuse me? 606 00:39:10,774 --> 00:39:12,817 So I'm gonna need the following from you. 607 00:39:13,026 --> 00:39:15,570 Transcriptions of your interviews, a bibliography, 608 00:39:15,736 --> 00:39:18,364 M.L.A. Style match, your notes, pretty much anything pertaining to the story. 609 00:39:18,531 --> 00:39:20,699 Ah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sure. 610 00:39:20,866 --> 00:39:23,785 Um, I'm just gonna need some time to get it together. 611 00:39:23,910 --> 00:39:25,787 So can I get your number or something? 612 00:39:25,912 --> 00:39:27,789 No. 613 00:39:27,914 --> 00:39:29,832 What? Hello? 614 00:39:37,923 --> 00:39:40,425 I had to find Freddy Bismark, 615 00:39:40,592 --> 00:39:44,095 and there was one place I knew I could track down even the most elusive characters. 616 00:39:44,261 --> 00:39:46,180 It's freaky, isn't it? 617 00:39:46,347 --> 00:39:50,559 Apparently, they just got results back from the S.A.T.'s. 618 00:39:50,725 --> 00:39:54,812 - Some of our best and brightest bummed it. - Really? 619 00:39:54,896 --> 00:39:58,274 - You see Shamus Finnle over there? - Uh-huh. 620 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,275 His teeth are chattering. 621 00:40:00,442 --> 00:40:02,736 It's probably from the Prylert. 622 00:40:02,903 --> 00:40:05,822 Oh, really? I didn't know that Shamus had A.D.D. 623 00:40:05,905 --> 00:40:08,324 For a reporter, you're really out of the loop. 624 00:40:08,491 --> 00:40:11,827 Half the school is taking Prylert right now... 625 00:40:11,911 --> 00:40:13,829 or Axitol, Ripenol, maybe Faldox. 626 00:40:13,912 --> 00:40:16,540 All just nice words for speed. 627 00:40:16,706 --> 00:40:19,167 If a kid needs a study aid, he'll find a way to get one. 628 00:40:19,334 --> 00:40:22,587 - Shamus Finnle. - It's supply and demand, son. 629 00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:27,424 I found Bobby Bismark where all high school graduates... 630 00:40:27,591 --> 00:40:29,468 go on to live in infamy. 631 00:40:31,052 --> 00:40:32,971 They say a picture is worth a thousand words, 632 00:40:33,137 --> 00:40:35,848 but his senior quote is worth a goddamn encyclopedia. 633 00:40:35,932 --> 00:40:37,850 "Dollar, dollar bills, y'all." 634 00:40:37,975 --> 00:40:40,019 You're not supposed to be looking at that. 635 00:40:40,185 --> 00:40:43,855 It's called study hall because you're supposed to study. 636 00:40:43,980 --> 00:40:45,857 What are you, a cop? 637 00:40:59,452 --> 00:41:03,664 ♪ 638 00:41:34,024 --> 00:41:36,735 Ah, I'm looking for the business. 639 00:41:36,902 --> 00:41:40,571 ♪ 640 00:41:45,576 --> 00:41:48,954 And no. No, you cannot pay me back on your meal card. 641 00:41:49,121 --> 00:41:51,956 I need cash. This is a business I'm running. 642 00:41:52,123 --> 00:41:55,168 I know it's your bar mitzvah money, but I have to take it. 643 00:41:55,334 --> 00:41:58,546 You lost the bet. 644 00:41:58,712 --> 00:42:01,798 Yes. I will take... Yes, I'll take a check. 645 00:42:01,965 --> 00:42:04,551 But if it bounces, I'm coming after you. 646 00:42:04,718 --> 00:42:09,096 This is real stuff. You owe me 20 bucks. Good-bye. 647 00:42:11,098 --> 00:42:14,268 Uh, I'm sorry. We're closed for the semester. No more pledges. 648 00:42:14,434 --> 00:42:16,436 I'm here about Paul Moore. 649 00:42:17,896 --> 00:42:20,982 Suck it! Let me explain something to you. 650 00:42:21,149 --> 00:42:23,818 I don't know thing one about Paul Moore. 651 00:42:23,901 --> 00:42:26,320 His name means nothing to me. 652 00:42:26,487 --> 00:42:29,322 I have kids on over half the teams in this district. 653 00:42:29,489 --> 00:42:33,576 And most pill poppers are begging me to throw games. 654 00:42:33,743 --> 00:42:35,828 And if I had to go out and personally frame each one... 655 00:42:35,912 --> 00:42:37,830 that didn't wanna brick a layup for me, 656 00:42:37,913 --> 00:42:40,124 I wouldn't have time to spend the money that I make. 657 00:42:40,290 --> 00:42:44,169 And as you can see, I like spending the money that I make. 658 00:42:44,336 --> 00:42:48,840 I mean, look around. That painting is from the Sixteenth chapel. 659 00:42:48,923 --> 00:42:50,800 That's the first chapel ever. 660 00:42:50,925 --> 00:42:52,885 So, what was the money for? 661 00:42:53,052 --> 00:42:55,053 Oh, my God, I'm gonna slap you in the face. 662 00:42:55,220 --> 00:42:57,389 I don't know. He was having girl problems. 663 00:42:57,556 --> 00:43:00,850 - What's that supposed to mean? - He was having problems with girls. All right? 664 00:43:01,017 --> 00:43:03,060 Come on. For a fellow Friar? 665 00:43:03,227 --> 00:43:07,439 No. Not for a fellow Friar. For you to get the fuck out of here. Okay? 666 00:43:07,606 --> 00:43:09,733 It was some chick from McKinley. That's all I know. 667 00:43:09,900 --> 00:43:12,152 Now, I'll see you, little man. 668 00:43:12,318 --> 00:43:15,446 Don't hurt yourselves. 669 00:43:18,365 --> 00:43:20,492 If Freddy Bismark didn't frame Paul, 670 00:43:20,659 --> 00:43:23,370 then maybe the girl problem was behind it. 671 00:43:24,913 --> 00:43:27,832 - There's the ol' wise guy. - Elliot. 672 00:43:27,915 --> 00:43:30,918 - Those pubes come in yet? - You still eating your mom's dirty tampons? 673 00:43:31,085 --> 00:43:34,213 - Only when I'm hungry. - So as I was saying on the phone, 674 00:43:34,379 --> 00:43:37,632 I managed to implicate our school president in a sordid theft... 675 00:43:37,799 --> 00:43:40,510 and in the process steal his girlfriend. 676 00:43:40,677 --> 00:43:42,845 - So what's the problem? - Bitch. 677 00:43:42,929 --> 00:43:46,390 I'm not sure the guy did it anymore. 678 00:43:46,557 --> 00:43:49,017 Have you ever seen this guy around? 679 00:43:49,184 --> 00:43:51,102 Yeah. That's Valerie's boyfriend. 680 00:43:51,269 --> 00:43:55,064 - You're dating Valerie? - The plot thickens, Elliot. 681 00:43:55,231 --> 00:43:57,775 Oh, I get it, peach fuzz. 682 00:43:57,900 --> 00:44:01,278 You think maybe I got tired of being Paul's little plaything, thought I'd teach him a lesson. 683 00:44:01,445 --> 00:44:03,280 It wasn't like that. 684 00:44:03,447 --> 00:44:07,825 - What... What do you mean? - Paul and I have something real. Okay? 685 00:44:07,909 --> 00:44:09,827 He can be himself around me. 686 00:44:09,911 --> 00:44:12,454 So what was the money for then? 687 00:44:13,914 --> 00:44:15,832 That's got nothing to do with anything. 688 00:44:15,916 --> 00:44:18,752 Look, Valerie, 689 00:44:18,918 --> 00:44:22,380 if Paul's innocent, then you can help him by helping me. 690 00:44:29,428 --> 00:44:33,640 Okay. You ready for the after-school special they call my life? 691 00:44:33,806 --> 00:44:38,018 I owed money to some unpleasant people. 692 00:44:38,185 --> 00:44:40,771 They were ready to collect on me as interest. 693 00:44:40,938 --> 00:44:43,190 Paul wouldn't stand for it. 694 00:44:43,356 --> 00:44:45,859 Someone tells me about Freddy Bismark. 695 00:44:45,942 --> 00:44:48,903 Paul has two off nights. 696 00:44:49,070 --> 00:44:52,489 - My debt goes away. - Paul threw two games for you? 697 00:44:54,950 --> 00:44:58,661 He would've thrown the entire season if I asked him to. 698 00:45:00,163 --> 00:45:02,582 Valerie was another dead end. 699 00:45:02,748 --> 00:45:05,209 If Paul was keeping her a secret, 700 00:45:05,376 --> 00:45:07,836 I wondered what else he was holding back on. 701 00:45:24,851 --> 00:45:28,479 I know some of you kids know... 702 00:45:28,646 --> 00:45:31,857 that I fought in Desert Storm. 703 00:45:31,941 --> 00:45:33,859 And you know why? I fought for you kids, 704 00:45:33,942 --> 00:45:35,902 and I fought for this country and this school, 705 00:45:36,069 --> 00:45:37,904 for St. Donovan's. 706 00:45:38,071 --> 00:45:40,323 It's no joke. 707 00:45:40,490 --> 00:45:42,867 Sometimes... I don't know... I may get carried away. 708 00:45:43,034 --> 00:45:46,412 But I wrote this song last night. Sing it with me. 709 00:45:46,578 --> 00:45:48,664 You can sing it. You can march. Yeah. 710 00:45:48,830 --> 00:45:50,874 Come on, kids. Sing it with me. 711 00:45:51,041 --> 00:45:52,834 # American 712 00:45:52,959 --> 00:45:54,752 # That's what I am 713 00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:56,337 # American 714 00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:57,880 # Fightin' in the sand # 715 00:45:58,088 --> 00:45:59,548 What's going on? 716 00:45:59,715 --> 00:46:01,800 Kirkpatrick's on some school spirit rampage. 717 00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:05,178 - I fought over there. - He canceled a.m. Classes to have a pep rally. 718 00:46:05,345 --> 00:46:08,431 - Yeah. - Merci, Kirkpatrick. 719 00:46:08,598 --> 00:46:10,391 # That's what I am 720 00:46:10,558 --> 00:46:12,226 # American 721 00:46:12,393 --> 00:46:16,021 - # Fighting in the sand, yeah - # American 722 00:46:16,188 --> 00:46:19,858 You can sing if you want! March if you want! # American 723 00:46:19,941 --> 00:46:22,193 # Fighting in the sand 724 00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:25,946 - # American - # That's what I am 725 00:46:26,113 --> 00:46:30,617 # American # We'll make our stand 726 00:46:30,784 --> 00:46:34,954 - # American - # Fighting in the sand 727 00:46:35,121 --> 00:46:38,874 - # American - # That's what I am # 728 00:46:38,958 --> 00:46:41,668 Moore. 729 00:46:41,835 --> 00:46:46,005 Come on. Whoo! 730 00:46:51,969 --> 00:46:54,179 And on that note, St. Donovan's... 731 00:46:55,931 --> 00:46:57,891 Marlon Piazza. 732 00:47:11,903 --> 00:47:14,864 For far too long we've stood as a school divided. 733 00:47:14,906 --> 00:47:18,909 Today, let us stand together. 734 00:47:22,788 --> 00:47:25,707 Let's create a better tomorrow. 735 00:47:25,874 --> 00:47:29,710 As I stand here today, I don't see freshmen or sophomores. 736 00:47:39,594 --> 00:47:42,638 I see Friars! 737 00:47:52,939 --> 00:47:56,484 - Marlon, can you hear me? - It's a paintball, you pussy. 738 00:48:01,697 --> 00:48:06,576 - # To the bottom, dear I had to fall # - This way! This way, children! 739 00:48:06,743 --> 00:48:09,162 # But you really caught me 740 00:48:09,328 --> 00:48:11,163 I'm hit! 741 00:48:11,330 --> 00:48:16,960 # You really caught me, dear at the bottom where I fall # 742 00:48:21,130 --> 00:48:23,799 - Moore! - # Slowly, dear 743 00:48:23,924 --> 00:48:28,387 # I ask would you dance with me # 744 00:48:28,553 --> 00:48:30,555 # Here's the shades down 745 00:48:31,806 --> 00:48:36,852 # The lights off # 746 00:48:44,943 --> 00:48:48,988 I'm gonna go to the vending machine for some pretzels. 747 00:48:49,155 --> 00:48:51,740 Do you want anything from downstairs? 748 00:48:51,907 --> 00:48:53,784 How about a bandage? 749 00:48:57,662 --> 00:49:00,665 Forget it. 750 00:49:15,178 --> 00:49:18,472 - Nurse Platt's phone. - I got word your boy shot some kids. 751 00:49:18,639 --> 00:49:21,642 How does that sit with the facts of your story, I'd like to ask, Funky? 752 00:49:21,808 --> 00:49:24,436 Striedel? How the hell did you... 753 00:49:24,603 --> 00:49:28,231 I have not... yes, yes... have not received your notes on the story, boss. 754 00:49:28,398 --> 00:49:33,360 Well, yeah, I know. I've been doing some-some backtracking to, you know, locate everything. 755 00:49:33,527 --> 00:49:37,739 Backtracking, huh? There was a kid a few years back, said he was doing backtracking. 756 00:49:37,906 --> 00:49:39,866 Turned out he fabricated the whole story to get into the program. 757 00:49:39,949 --> 00:49:42,827 They kicked him out, of course. Blackballed him. 758 00:49:42,952 --> 00:49:46,872 Last I heard, he was working as a pharma- ceutical test subject for carpel tunnel syndrome. 759 00:49:46,955 --> 00:49:51,251 Your story's thin, kid. Do you really think you can pull one over on Ben Striedel? 760 00:49:51,418 --> 00:49:53,294 I want your notes, stat. 761 00:49:59,967 --> 00:50:02,969 Hey. 762 00:50:03,136 --> 00:50:06,139 There's, um, something that I need to tell you. 763 00:50:06,306 --> 00:50:08,391 Not before I get to say thank you. 764 00:50:08,558 --> 00:50:10,768 For what? 765 00:50:10,935 --> 00:50:13,228 For saving my life out there. 766 00:50:14,479 --> 00:50:16,523 It was just a paintball gun. 767 00:50:16,690 --> 00:50:19,734 Yeah, but you didn't know that, did you? 768 00:50:19,901 --> 00:50:21,861 Look, Francesca, 769 00:50:22,028 --> 00:50:27,199 as an ethical journalist and a man who's dedicated to the truth, 770 00:50:27,366 --> 00:50:30,952 I think you should know that your boyfriend was probably... 771 00:50:37,208 --> 00:50:40,210 He's not my boyfriend. 772 00:50:40,377 --> 00:50:42,421 Now, what did you want to tell me? 773 00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:59,060 Nice shooting out there, Mr. Moore. 774 00:50:59,227 --> 00:51:02,897 Another three inches to the left and you would have had a kill shot on me. 775 00:51:02,980 --> 00:51:07,359 You got this all wrong. I didn't steal the S.A.T.'s. 776 00:51:09,111 --> 00:51:13,740 - Anything else? - Yeah. This place sucks! 777 00:51:14,949 --> 00:51:17,910 Oh, you'll be sucking soon enough, Mr. Moore. 778 00:51:18,077 --> 00:51:21,413 # I got the hots for you 779 00:51:25,333 --> 00:51:28,628 They locked Paul away at some undisclosed private institution. 780 00:51:28,795 --> 00:51:33,257 My story put him there. Now it was my job to get him out. 781 00:51:34,967 --> 00:51:37,886 # I got the hots for you 782 00:51:37,969 --> 00:51:39,888 I'll tell you whatever you want to know. 783 00:51:44,934 --> 00:51:48,979 # Here I am 784 00:51:49,146 --> 00:51:53,441 # Looking out on a 785 00:51:53,608 --> 00:51:57,778 # Crystal world # 786 00:52:03,992 --> 00:52:06,077 Meds three times a day. 787 00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:10,915 P.M.W. 788 00:52:13,792 --> 00:52:16,253 Paul Moore Way. 789 00:52:16,420 --> 00:52:18,880 Paul, I need your help. 790 00:52:18,963 --> 00:52:21,758 I know someone framed you for stealing the S.A.T.'s, 791 00:52:21,924 --> 00:52:26,553 but I just don't know who. 792 00:52:26,720 --> 00:52:28,889 Who do you think framed you? 793 00:52:28,972 --> 00:52:31,641 Who set you up? Come on, Paul. 794 00:52:33,977 --> 00:52:35,895 Are you here to take me home? 795 00:52:39,565 --> 00:52:41,441 After three hours, 796 00:52:41,608 --> 00:52:45,403 the only thing I got out of Paul was a sinking feeling in my stomach. 797 00:52:45,528 --> 00:52:47,864 All right, Mitch, we're looking for weapons, obviously, 798 00:52:47,947 --> 00:52:49,865 anything that can kill a student. 799 00:52:49,949 --> 00:52:54,703 Knives, guns, what's not always obvious. 800 00:52:54,870 --> 00:52:57,080 Are you kidding me? You know about the rule about gum! 801 00:52:57,247 --> 00:53:00,458 Raise your arms, please. With the women, you want to use the backs of the hands. 802 00:53:00,625 --> 00:53:02,460 The backs of the hands, Mitch. 803 00:53:02,627 --> 00:53:07,422 Last rule, most important rule. You're gonna wanna fuck 'em. 804 00:53:07,589 --> 00:53:10,884 Do not fuck the students. Do you understand? 805 00:53:11,009 --> 00:53:13,845 The scene of the crime. 806 00:53:13,970 --> 00:53:17,181 Give a lunatic a paintball gun and you'd expect a Jackson Pollack. 807 00:53:17,348 --> 00:53:21,602 But Paul was more precise. Every shot counted. 808 00:53:21,768 --> 00:53:25,730 But for what? Francesca? That's easy. She broke his heart. 809 00:53:25,897 --> 00:53:27,857 Me? I broke the story. 810 00:53:27,940 --> 00:53:29,984 Kirkpatrick, mercy killing. 811 00:53:30,151 --> 00:53:32,611 But what about Alex Schneider, the school treasurer? 812 00:53:32,778 --> 00:53:34,947 What about Marlon and the Mullens? 813 00:53:35,113 --> 00:53:37,866 They were his friends and fellow members of the student council. 814 00:53:37,991 --> 00:53:41,869 If Paul's painting meant something, maybe those guys could explain it to me. 815 00:53:41,953 --> 00:53:44,955 Yo, check it out. It's that slut, Laura Hoffman. 816 00:53:45,122 --> 00:53:47,875 Oh, dude, you don't even want to know what I did to that ass. 817 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,878 Probably the same thing I did to your mom's ass. 818 00:53:51,961 --> 00:53:55,965 Dude, that's mom. Our mom. 819 00:53:56,132 --> 00:53:58,884 Yeah. No. Yo, check it out. 820 00:53:58,968 --> 00:54:01,220 I got this move that I like to call the "operator." 821 00:54:01,386 --> 00:54:04,180 Right? It's when I'm, uh, railing a girl. 822 00:54:04,347 --> 00:54:06,224 Then I reach down and steal her cell phone... 823 00:54:06,391 --> 00:54:09,227 and call up her dad so he can listen to me do her. 824 00:54:09,393 --> 00:54:12,771 Oh, yeah, Daddy. Oh, yes, man. 825 00:54:14,982 --> 00:54:17,067 - Are you lost, freshman? - Son of a bi... 826 00:54:18,902 --> 00:54:21,404 - Why'd he shoot you, Marlon? - He shot you too, didn't he? 827 00:54:21,571 --> 00:54:26,241 - Yeah, but he shot you first. - Hey, you want detention for life, fuck-face? 828 00:54:26,408 --> 00:54:29,327 Hey, Funky, why don't you, uh... why don't you come to my house on Friday? 829 00:54:29,494 --> 00:54:31,538 - I'm gonna have a little party. - No, dude. Come on. 830 00:54:31,705 --> 00:54:37,251 It's okay. I mean, he just wants to ask me some questions, right, for the school paper? 831 00:54:37,418 --> 00:54:41,296 I don't want to get on his bad side. We all saw what happened to Moore. 832 00:54:59,979 --> 00:55:03,024 ♪ 833 00:55:19,038 --> 00:55:21,248 Funky, you made it. 834 00:55:24,042 --> 00:55:25,877 So this is a party. 835 00:55:26,044 --> 00:55:28,296 Yeah, well, you knew enough to be fashionably late. 836 00:55:28,463 --> 00:55:31,257 Well, no, actually, I had a flat tire, so... 837 00:55:31,423 --> 00:55:34,218 Twenty bucks says that toothpaste doesn't do a goddamn thing. 838 00:55:34,384 --> 00:55:37,345 - I'll fucking smoke it myself. - Smoke it down, bro. 839 00:55:37,512 --> 00:55:43,100 - You want a beer? - I have to get up early for my driver's test. 840 00:55:45,311 --> 00:55:47,604 It's good. 841 00:55:47,771 --> 00:55:49,898 It's like a good brew. It's really... It's really cold. 842 00:55:50,023 --> 00:55:52,901 I'm so gonna corrupt you. 843 00:55:54,527 --> 00:55:57,238 # I'll run away with you 844 00:55:57,405 --> 00:56:00,240 # We can build a gold mine 845 00:56:00,407 --> 00:56:02,242 ♪ There's no ball. 846 00:56:02,409 --> 00:56:04,911 - Somebody got a ball? - Yeah. I got a ball. 847 00:56:04,995 --> 00:56:07,664 - Shit. - Oh! Hey, man. 848 00:56:07,830 --> 00:56:12,543 Hey, Marlon, you and Paul Moore have been on the student council together for two years. 849 00:56:12,710 --> 00:56:14,878 - In all that time, did he ever seem like... - Funky. 850 00:56:15,003 --> 00:56:17,255 - Yeah? - It's a party. 851 00:56:19,424 --> 00:56:21,884 Yeah. Funky, you can put this on the record, okay? 852 00:56:25,804 --> 00:56:27,806 Tastes minty. 853 00:56:29,850 --> 00:56:31,685 Tastes like a veal cutlet. 854 00:56:31,851 --> 00:56:36,564 No, man. It like... It's like a baby lamb chop with the, uh... the mint jelly. 855 00:56:36,731 --> 00:56:38,983 Tastes like a joint, you fags. 856 00:56:39,149 --> 00:56:41,902 - Beer pong. Just focus on the cup. - Come on, Funky. 857 00:56:41,985 --> 00:56:44,988 Give me your best shot. 858 00:56:52,328 --> 00:56:54,913 - Oh. - Ooh! 859 00:57:07,007 --> 00:57:09,676 Goal! 860 00:57:20,060 --> 00:57:21,895 Hold this. 861 00:57:22,062 --> 00:57:27,900 # Dial up my number now 862 00:57:27,984 --> 00:57:34,907 # Weaving it through the wire # 863 00:57:35,032 --> 00:57:38,201 # Switch me on 864 00:57:38,368 --> 00:57:41,537 # Turn me up 865 00:57:41,704 --> 00:57:44,331 # Don't want it Baudelaire 866 00:57:44,498 --> 00:57:48,377 # Just glitter lust 867 00:57:48,543 --> 00:57:51,379 # Switch me on 868 00:57:51,546 --> 00:57:54,924 # Turn me up 869 00:57:55,007 --> 00:57:56,926 # I want to touch you 870 00:57:57,051 --> 00:58:00,762 # You're just made for love 871 00:58:00,929 --> 00:58:04,057 # I need la, la, la, la, la, la # 872 00:58:04,224 --> 00:58:06,935 # I need Ooh, la, la, la, la # 873 00:58:07,018 --> 00:58:10,688 # I need la, la la, la, la, la # 874 00:58:10,855 --> 00:58:13,399 # I need Ooh, la, la, la, la # 875 00:58:16,485 --> 00:58:19,404 All right, let's play this game. 876 00:58:19,571 --> 00:58:21,906 ♪ I've got winners. 877 00:58:25,951 --> 00:58:27,870 Yo, what do you want us to do with him? 878 00:58:27,953 --> 00:58:29,830 - Take him upstairs. - Tie him up. 879 00:58:29,955 --> 00:58:35,126 I can take another one of those toothpaste cigarettes. Give me one. It was the toothpaste. 880 00:58:35,293 --> 00:58:37,878 I know... 881 00:58:37,962 --> 00:58:40,255 Hey, it's B. Funky. 882 00:58:40,422 --> 00:58:42,841 Take it! Take it like a man! 883 00:58:42,966 --> 00:58:47,428 The little prick told me he was going to a seminar on surveillance technology. 884 00:58:47,595 --> 00:58:51,682 I feel bad for him. He's totally gaga for that cum-dumpster. 885 00:58:51,849 --> 00:58:57,062 A single pussy hair can pull a battleship through the desert. 886 00:58:58,188 --> 00:59:00,898 - Give it up. - Hey. 887 00:59:00,982 --> 00:59:05,027 - What are you guys doing here? - The question is, "What are you doing here?" 888 00:59:05,194 --> 00:59:07,905 I'm just... I'm doing research for the school paper. 889 00:59:07,988 --> 00:59:11,616 Oh, yeah. You're writing a story on Francesca's pink "beav." 890 00:59:11,783 --> 00:59:14,410 No. Seriously. 891 00:59:14,577 --> 00:59:18,622 Listen to me. You need to sink the pink tonight, hermano. 892 00:59:18,789 --> 00:59:22,084 I hope you... # Before, that way you can last. 893 00:59:22,250 --> 00:59:25,503 - Yeah. You don't want to be a premie. - A premie? 894 00:59:25,670 --> 00:59:27,880 - Word gets around. - It's true. 895 00:59:28,005 --> 00:59:31,258 She's used to Paul Moore. That guy can last. 896 00:59:31,425 --> 00:59:34,636 - How do you know? - I just know. 897 00:59:34,803 --> 00:59:38,056 Hey, Funky, listen. After you come, 898 00:59:38,223 --> 00:59:42,018 you're going to hate her, just hate her. 899 00:59:42,185 --> 00:59:46,980 I don't know why, but you will. 900 00:59:47,147 --> 00:59:49,900 - Well, I got to get back. - Yeah, to do the story. 901 00:59:49,983 --> 00:59:51,276 - Right? - Right. 902 00:59:51,443 --> 00:59:53,903 - Dig deep, hermano. - Yeah, balls deep. 903 00:59:56,781 --> 00:59:59,199 See you guys on Monday. 904 00:59:59,366 --> 01:00:03,787 Keep it going. Come on. Give me something. Give me something. Yeah. 905 01:00:05,538 --> 01:00:07,999 - Work with me! - Hey, stranger. 906 01:00:08,166 --> 01:00:10,918 So I wanted to talk to you about a follow-up to your story. 907 01:00:11,043 --> 01:00:14,922 I was thinking, like, maybe an editorial piece on the student council or something. 908 01:00:15,047 --> 01:00:17,257 - Hey, Clara. - Yeah? 909 01:00:17,424 --> 01:00:19,425 It's a party. 910 01:00:31,019 --> 01:00:33,021 Isn't this Marlon's room? 911 01:00:33,188 --> 01:00:37,483 Yeah, well, somebody already passed out in my bed. 912 01:00:37,650 --> 01:00:40,402 Well, then won't he mind that we're in here? 913 01:00:40,569 --> 01:00:42,446 He doesn't care. 914 01:00:46,533 --> 01:00:48,159 Cool planes. 915 01:00:57,584 --> 01:00:59,961 What are you doing with me? 916 01:01:00,128 --> 01:01:03,172 What kind of question is that? 917 01:01:04,381 --> 01:01:06,300 A good one. 918 01:01:06,467 --> 01:01:10,554 Hey, I like you. 919 01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:12,680 I like the way you look at me. 920 01:01:12,847 --> 01:01:16,892 Like it's for real, you know? 921 01:01:17,018 --> 01:01:19,687 Like you don't have to impress anyone. 922 01:01:22,898 --> 01:01:25,942 Like if tomorrow, St. Donovan's would just disappear, 923 01:01:26,025 --> 01:01:28,027 you'd still look at me the way you do. 924 01:01:32,990 --> 01:01:34,825 You get me, Funky. 925 01:01:36,952 --> 01:01:40,663 I tried on, like, 11 shirts before I came over here. 926 01:01:40,830 --> 01:01:45,668 Yeah? Well, you know I don't like it. 927 01:01:45,834 --> 01:01:48,045 I think you need to take it off. 928 01:01:56,761 --> 01:01:58,804 When-When do your parents come home? 929 01:02:00,472 --> 01:02:02,933 My dad's out of town until Tuesday. 930 01:02:03,016 --> 01:02:07,520 - What about your mom? - My mom's dead, Funky. 931 01:02:07,687 --> 01:02:09,272 Sorry. 932 01:02:15,402 --> 01:02:17,362 I want you. 933 01:02:21,282 --> 01:02:23,159 You get me. 934 01:02:46,054 --> 01:02:50,516 Hey, Ashwood, you're pissing yourself. 935 01:03:07,197 --> 01:03:09,074 Fuck. 936 01:03:12,744 --> 01:03:15,955 Funky. Hey, Funky, untie me. 937 01:03:16,038 --> 01:03:17,957 - Cipriato. - Funky! 938 01:03:21,084 --> 01:03:25,255 You're doing considerably better this time around, Mr. Funky. 939 01:03:25,422 --> 01:03:27,298 Thank you. 940 01:03:31,469 --> 01:03:34,346 - What are you doing? - Uh... 941 01:03:34,513 --> 01:03:38,808 Sorry. I just thought that I should, uh, adjust this mirror a smidge. 942 01:03:38,975 --> 01:03:40,935 Safety first. 943 01:03:41,019 --> 01:03:44,897 - That's very good of you, Mr. Funky. - I know. 944 01:03:50,443 --> 01:03:55,448 The Mullens' van. Grass, gas or ass. Nobody rode for free. 945 01:03:55,573 --> 01:03:58,200 What were the good brothers doing up so early? 946 01:04:03,038 --> 01:04:05,373 You know, I think I'm just gonna, um, parallel park here. 947 01:04:05,540 --> 01:04:08,042 I was just gonna have you do that back at the D.M.V. Lot. 948 01:04:08,209 --> 01:04:10,920 Yeah, I know, but this is such a challenging spot. 949 01:04:11,003 --> 01:04:13,255 I'm really feeling it today. 950 01:04:13,422 --> 01:04:15,424 For me, it's all about the aesthetic. 951 01:04:15,590 --> 01:04:18,843 - The aesthetic? - Yeah. 952 01:04:27,309 --> 01:04:30,478 Well, I must say, Mr. Funky, that was some mighty fine parking. 953 01:04:30,645 --> 01:04:35,191 Yeah, that was pretty good, wasn't it? 954 01:04:37,026 --> 01:04:39,570 Two pharmacies in five minutes. 955 01:04:39,778 --> 01:04:41,905 That must have been some case of crabs. 956 01:04:50,996 --> 01:04:53,248 Well, I never thought I'd see the day, 957 01:04:53,415 --> 01:04:56,626 but I'd say you're about to get yourself a driver's license. 958 01:04:56,793 --> 01:04:59,003 - Really? - Really. 959 01:05:06,051 --> 01:05:10,263 It was my license or the scoop. My freedom or the truth. 960 01:05:10,430 --> 01:05:13,683 Woodward and Bernstein. Woodward and Bernstein. 961 01:05:13,850 --> 01:05:16,185 All you have to do is get me back to the D.M.V. In one piece... 962 01:05:16,352 --> 01:05:18,896 Hey! Hey! Hey! 963 01:05:19,021 --> 01:05:21,940 Put your foot on that brake! Come on! Stop the car! 964 01:05:22,024 --> 01:05:26,027 Put your foot on the brake! What are you doing? 965 01:05:30,656 --> 01:05:33,742 Four pharmacies and a dozen traffic violations later, 966 01:05:33,909 --> 01:05:36,411 Alex Schneider and the Mullens were still making the rounds. 967 01:05:36,578 --> 01:05:38,955 So I guess I'll see you next month? 968 01:05:39,038 --> 01:05:42,250 - Get the fuck out. - Fair enough. 969 01:05:44,293 --> 01:05:46,920 My driver's test had posed some new questions. 970 01:05:47,004 --> 01:05:50,507 Fortunately, I knew just the people to help me find the answers. 971 01:05:50,674 --> 01:05:53,468 - This is gonna cost you, you know. - What's going on, Landis. 972 01:05:54,886 --> 01:05:57,847 You're not supposed to do that unless there's a fire. 973 01:05:59,014 --> 01:06:03,268 Can't you see the fire, lamb chop? 974 01:06:03,435 --> 01:06:06,062 It's in my heart. 975 01:06:07,689 --> 01:06:09,941 And it's burning for you. 976 01:06:12,359 --> 01:06:14,278 Where'd you get all those keys? 977 01:06:14,444 --> 01:06:16,780 I'm sleeping with the janitor. 978 01:06:16,947 --> 01:06:20,158 Seriously? 979 01:06:20,325 --> 01:06:22,493 Later, Funky. 980 01:06:36,464 --> 01:06:39,717 I didn't know what I was looking for exactly. 981 01:06:39,883 --> 01:06:44,262 But so far, every clue had one common denominator... 982 01:06:44,471 --> 01:06:47,056 the student council. 983 01:07:13,538 --> 01:07:17,416 # I got crazy cheddar cheese 'cause I'm the dopest M.C. On the planet # 984 01:07:17,583 --> 01:07:19,960 # I'm the one that gave your sister that rash, goddamn it # 985 01:07:20,044 --> 01:07:22,170 # Now everyone in the 616 986 01:07:22,337 --> 01:07:26,758 # Eat a Chinese girl out with a pair of chopsticks, yo... # 987 01:07:26,925 --> 01:07:29,969 - See, man, cut it. Cut it. Look... - What's up? 988 01:07:30,094 --> 01:07:34,932 We're gonna need some beers, man, because I'm not feeling it unless I got my rhyme sauce. 989 01:07:35,057 --> 01:07:37,309 # Make sure it's cold 990 01:07:38,810 --> 01:07:41,771 Yo, yo, yo. Get me some antacid too while you're at it. 991 01:07:41,938 --> 01:07:44,732 I got mad indigestion, bro. Ohh. 992 01:07:44,899 --> 01:07:46,900 - Let's do the show. - No, no, no. 993 01:07:47,067 --> 01:07:49,403 # A wicka, a wicka-wicka one, two, yo # 994 01:07:49,569 --> 01:07:51,946 # Bitches, bitches Fall to your knees # 995 01:07:52,030 --> 01:07:55,032 # Look at my wallet I'm crazy cheddar cheese # 996 01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,960 - You guys sound really good in there. - Jesus, Funky! 997 01:08:08,086 --> 01:08:12,131 - What the hell are you doing in my car? - Just a little light reading. 998 01:08:12,298 --> 01:08:16,843 Student council treasury ledger. It's a real page-turner, isn't it? 999 01:08:17,010 --> 01:08:20,888 Money disappears and then reappears. Schneider is a regular Houdini. 1000 01:08:21,055 --> 01:08:24,517 - I don't know what you're talking about, Funky. - Sure you do, Marty. 1001 01:08:24,683 --> 01:08:27,352 But maybe it's time for you to come clean, 1002 01:08:27,519 --> 01:08:29,354 become your own man. 1003 01:08:29,521 --> 01:08:33,524 You know what, Funky? You're right. 1004 01:08:42,115 --> 01:08:44,701 Try not to get blood on the carpet. My mom will get pissed. 1005 01:08:44,868 --> 01:08:46,703 # Say what We make you say what # 1006 01:08:46,870 --> 01:08:49,372 # We make you say what 1007 01:08:49,539 --> 01:08:52,916 # We make you say what We make you say what # 1008 01:08:55,043 --> 01:08:56,962 # You can get fly Get high with me # 1009 01:08:57,045 --> 01:08:59,881 # Keep your hands to the sky and keep your eyes on me # 1010 01:09:00,048 --> 01:09:02,967 # I'm gonna kick it to your markers. The blind don't see # 1011 01:09:03,050 --> 01:09:04,969 ♪ 1012 01:09:07,137 --> 01:09:10,765 Francesca. Hey, pick up. I need to talk to you about Paul. 1013 01:09:10,932 --> 01:09:15,895 Did he ever mention anything about Schneider or the Mullens having a drug problem? 1014 01:09:16,062 --> 01:09:17,980 Anyway, I'll try you again later, okay? 1015 01:09:18,063 --> 01:09:22,442 Um, I love you... I mean, I love hanging out with you. 1016 01:09:22,609 --> 01:09:24,694 # Oh, Gertrude 1017 01:09:24,861 --> 01:09:28,448 # My anaconda's sore and it needs a massage # 1018 01:09:28,656 --> 01:09:30,491 # I love you # 1019 01:09:43,085 --> 01:09:45,879 Hey, what's going on? 1020 01:09:46,046 --> 01:09:48,715 Didn't you hear? 1021 01:09:48,882 --> 01:09:51,926 No. 1022 01:09:52,052 --> 01:09:56,931 Here, here. Breathe that in, Funky. Ohh! 1023 01:09:57,014 --> 01:10:01,101 The big news was that everyone had to retake the S.A.T.'s. 1024 01:10:01,268 --> 01:10:05,438 The stolen tests had been nullified under suspicion of tampering. 1025 01:10:05,605 --> 01:10:10,693 But I had my own suspicions to follow. I needed to stay on their tail. 1026 01:10:10,860 --> 01:10:14,238 - I needed evidence. I needed photos. Needed... - Hey, Stinky. 1027 01:10:14,404 --> 01:10:17,949 I think you need to come home with me. 1028 01:10:20,785 --> 01:10:24,288 You know, I'm concerned about the lack of parental supervision at your house. 1029 01:10:24,455 --> 01:10:27,040 Oh, yeah? You want to be my daddy? 1030 01:10:28,166 --> 01:10:30,961 # Lay on the floor 1031 01:10:31,044 --> 01:10:34,297 # It's nice to end 1032 01:10:34,464 --> 01:10:36,799 # The day 1033 01:10:39,051 --> 01:10:42,846 # And is she gonna go 1034 01:10:43,013 --> 01:10:46,975 - Is that a good look? - Uh-huh. You look like a little dinosaur. 1035 01:10:49,685 --> 01:10:52,354 # Gonna stay 1036 01:10:52,563 --> 01:10:54,940 # Here 1037 01:10:55,023 --> 01:10:58,151 # With me 1038 01:11:01,070 --> 01:11:04,323 - # I'm gonna sing - I can't see anything right now. 1039 01:11:04,490 --> 01:11:06,325 I'm totally blind. 1040 01:11:06,492 --> 01:11:08,952 # A thing to hold on to 1041 01:11:09,077 --> 01:11:12,831 Paul, the Northwestern program. ♪ 1042 01:11:12,997 --> 01:11:14,874 Suddenly none of it seemed to matter. 1043 01:11:15,041 --> 01:11:19,920 The hole in my side, the one that always kept me hungry, was gone. 1044 01:11:20,045 --> 01:11:22,631 Guess that meant I was happy. 1045 01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:36,435 ♪ 1046 01:11:36,601 --> 01:11:38,520 You shouldn't have done that. 1047 01:11:38,687 --> 01:11:41,230 Funke, frosh, steals tests and pins it on the prez... 1048 01:11:41,397 --> 01:11:43,774 - for a bid at Fran's hand. - Son of a bitch! 1049 01:11:43,941 --> 01:11:47,945 One thing was clear, Tad Goltz couldn't write for shit. 1050 01:11:49,488 --> 01:11:51,698 What the hell is this? 1051 01:11:51,865 --> 01:11:54,325 - You tell me. - There's no way that story checks out. 1052 01:11:54,492 --> 01:11:56,118 Schneider has been cooking the books. 1053 01:11:56,327 --> 01:11:58,037 What does that have to do with Paul Moore? 1054 01:11:58,204 --> 01:12:01,915 Nothing. But maybe Moore had nothing to do with the S.A.T.'s in the first place. 1055 01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:05,710 Bobby, stop. I really believed in you. 1056 01:12:05,877 --> 01:12:09,088 I thought you were one of the few kids in school that didn't need to be popular. 1057 01:12:11,632 --> 01:12:14,301 I'm recommending that Tad get your summer scholarship. 1058 01:12:15,510 --> 01:12:17,387 What? 1059 01:12:18,596 --> 01:12:20,682 I'm late for A.P. English. 1060 01:12:33,943 --> 01:12:36,862 Smooth move, Dr. Love. 1061 01:12:37,029 --> 01:12:40,532 You actually think I went to all the trouble of stealing the S.A.T.'s... 1062 01:12:40,699 --> 01:12:43,535 - just so I could go out with Francesca? - I would. 1063 01:12:43,702 --> 01:12:47,455 Francesca and I are in love, Cipriato. 1064 01:12:47,622 --> 01:12:50,541 We have something you can't emotionally comprehend yet. 1065 01:12:50,708 --> 01:12:52,710 - Ow! - Asshole! 1066 01:12:52,876 --> 01:12:54,920 Francesca. 1067 01:12:55,087 --> 01:12:57,380 Francesca, it's not true. Goltz is full of shit. 1068 01:12:57,547 --> 01:12:59,841 Did Paul steal them or not? 1069 01:13:00,008 --> 01:13:03,094 - Well, I don't think so, but that's not... - I trusted you, Funky. 1070 01:13:03,261 --> 01:13:06,764 This is bigger than me and you, okay? This is bigger than Paul Moore. This is... 1071 01:13:06,930 --> 01:13:10,058 Francesca. 1072 01:13:10,225 --> 01:13:14,479 Francesca, look, you got to believe me, okay? 1073 01:13:14,645 --> 01:13:17,982 Just... 1074 01:13:18,065 --> 01:13:20,776 Hey, look, can I just get the hall pass? 1075 01:13:20,943 --> 01:13:22,861 Huh? Huh? 1076 01:13:23,028 --> 01:13:24,946 The hall pass. 1077 01:13:25,071 --> 01:13:27,990 Huh? Hablo en Espanol. 1078 01:13:28,074 --> 01:13:33,120 L- I got to talk to some people. 1079 01:13:36,540 --> 01:13:40,043 - Could I just get the hall pass, please? - No. Sit down. 1080 01:13:40,210 --> 01:13:42,420 - Please, I need... - Sit down. 1081 01:13:44,505 --> 01:13:46,757 Bueno, bueno. 1082 01:13:55,890 --> 01:13:58,058 Señor Funky. 1083 01:13:58,225 --> 01:14:02,145 - La tarea. - L-I don't have it. 1084 01:14:02,312 --> 01:14:05,231 Hmm? Por que no? 1085 01:14:05,398 --> 01:14:09,902 ? Por que no? Because I'm the only one in this whole class who didn't copy it off Steve! 1086 01:14:11,070 --> 01:14:14,907 No me gusta su actitud, Senor Funky. 1087 01:14:15,073 --> 01:14:17,784 - Huh? - Yeah, well, no me gusta any of this bullshit! 1088 01:14:17,951 --> 01:14:22,622 Father Newell. 1089 01:14:22,788 --> 01:14:25,958 Senor Funke. 1090 01:14:26,083 --> 01:14:29,795 - Oh. - Senor Funke. 1091 01:14:29,961 --> 01:14:32,005 Adios. 1092 01:14:32,088 --> 01:14:34,507 Thank God you got me out of there. 1093 01:14:34,674 --> 01:14:37,259 You wouldn't believe some of the stuff that I've uncovered. 1094 01:14:37,426 --> 01:14:39,386 I don't even know where to start. 1095 01:14:39,553 --> 01:14:42,180 Point shaving, theft, embezzling. 1096 01:14:42,347 --> 01:14:44,599 - A pharmaceutical drug ring. - Is that gum in your mouth? 1097 01:14:44,766 --> 01:14:47,018 There's these pills, right? Half the school... 1098 01:14:47,101 --> 01:14:50,271 I just asked you, are you chewing gum? 1099 01:14:50,438 --> 01:14:54,399 That's... That's irrelevant. I think there's something really serious going on here. 1100 01:14:54,566 --> 01:14:58,028 You seem to be a little foggy as to why I'm here, Mr. Funky. 1101 01:14:58,194 --> 01:15:01,114 From what I understand, you've made a mockery of this entire high school. 1102 01:15:01,280 --> 01:15:06,618 You seem to think that this is some kind of circus and that I am some kind of clown. 1103 01:15:06,785 --> 01:15:08,954 I'm not a f'ing clown. 1104 01:15:09,037 --> 01:15:12,373 And I'm not here to bring joy and love... 1105 01:15:12,540 --> 01:15:16,877 and light and laughter into your f'ing heart! 1106 01:15:17,044 --> 01:15:19,963 Now, I'm going to ask you one more time, 1107 01:15:20,089 --> 01:15:23,967 and this time I expect an answer. 1108 01:15:24,050 --> 01:15:28,012 Is... that... 1109 01:15:28,179 --> 01:15:30,514 gum... 1110 01:15:30,681 --> 01:15:32,516 in... 1111 01:15:32,683 --> 01:15:35,435 your... mouth? 1112 01:15:36,937 --> 01:15:38,813 Is this gum in my mouth? 1113 01:15:41,065 --> 01:15:45,778 Is this gum in my mouth? Yeah, it is, actually. It's gum. 1114 01:15:45,945 --> 01:15:49,448 It's gum. It's gum! It's gum! It's gum! It's gum! It's gum! 1115 01:15:49,614 --> 01:15:51,741 I chew it all the time! 24-7! 1116 01:15:51,908 --> 01:15:55,703 I've got a fucking jumbo pack in my pocket right now! 1117 01:15:55,870 --> 01:16:00,874 My locker, filled to the brim with gum! No books, just gum! 1118 01:16:01,041 --> 01:16:04,252 Now, I am trying to talk to you about matters of the utmost importance here. 1119 01:16:04,419 --> 01:16:07,046 And you're... you're talking to me about gum? 1120 01:16:25,479 --> 01:16:29,191 # When your love has moved away # 1121 01:16:31,109 --> 01:16:32,986 # You must face yourself and you must say # 1122 01:16:33,152 --> 01:16:35,404 Bathroom breaks? You get one, right after lunch. 1123 01:16:35,571 --> 01:16:39,658 Bring your work in first thing in the morning. # I remember better days # 1124 01:16:39,825 --> 01:16:42,536 Which is nice because it gives you the rest of the day to pretty much do whatever. 1125 01:16:42,703 --> 01:16:46,122 You get 15 minutes in the yard twice a week. 1126 01:16:46,289 --> 01:16:49,875 Mind and body, Funky. Mind and body. 1127 01:16:56,214 --> 01:16:58,842 What should I do about Francesca? 1128 01:16:59,008 --> 01:17:02,011 Get some good porn, pray that she calls. 1129 01:17:14,188 --> 01:17:19,902 # Now that you know it's nowhere # 1130 01:17:22,029 --> 01:17:24,239 # What's to stop you coming home # Hello? 1131 01:17:24,406 --> 01:17:27,992 - Hello, dickhead. - You have got to be kidding me. 1132 01:17:28,076 --> 01:17:31,454 I've got two stories on my desk and one contradicts the living shit out of the other. 1133 01:17:31,620 --> 01:17:34,331 Did you really think that you could pull one over on ol' Ben Striedel? 1134 01:17:34,498 --> 01:17:37,000 Did you? 'Cause that's wholesale crazy, chief. 1135 01:17:37,083 --> 01:17:40,128 I have a 175 I.Q. That means I skipped the third grade. 1136 01:17:40,295 --> 01:17:42,547 You don't understand, Striedel. I was framed. 1137 01:17:42,713 --> 01:17:45,799 The school treasurer is moving money around to sell drugs. 1138 01:17:45,966 --> 01:17:49,386 Oh, that's rich. Now you're gonna frame the treasurer? 1139 01:17:49,553 --> 01:17:52,472 Is the class secretary next? What's the money got to do with stolen S.A.T.'s? 1140 01:17:52,639 --> 01:17:55,016 Nothing. They're two completely separate things. L... 1141 01:17:55,099 --> 01:17:58,018 Let me give you a freebie, kid. Money's got something to do with everything. 1142 01:17:58,102 --> 01:18:00,437 That's Investigative Journalism 101. 1143 01:18:00,604 --> 01:18:03,440 Follow the money, dipshit. You got till Monday to give me the truth. 1144 01:18:06,276 --> 01:18:09,111 # You're not where you belong # 1145 01:18:18,536 --> 01:18:20,622 I gonna call a time-out. 1146 01:18:26,085 --> 01:18:29,046 Uh, l-3. 1147 01:18:29,212 --> 01:18:32,507 - That's a hit! Fuck! - I told you putting it in there was a bad idea. 1148 01:18:32,674 --> 01:18:35,760 You stinky, Landy? I put it where you want to put it. 1149 01:18:35,927 --> 01:18:39,388 - Oh, that is nice. It's new? - No, it's my mom's. 1150 01:18:39,555 --> 01:18:41,598 Connect the dots. 1151 01:18:41,765 --> 01:18:43,808 I told you not to line up the ships like that. 1152 01:18:43,975 --> 01:18:47,145 It's looks like, uh, Pearl Harbor! 1153 01:18:47,312 --> 01:18:51,023 - Puta! - Could you guys just use your library voices? 1154 01:18:51,107 --> 01:18:53,025 Sorry. I'm just trying to think. 1155 01:18:53,108 --> 01:18:55,277 You can't let Goltz get one up on you, Funky. 1156 01:18:55,444 --> 01:18:57,904 That guy is an enormous vagina. 1157 01:19:07,955 --> 01:19:12,125 Connect the dots. 1158 01:19:12,333 --> 01:19:15,586 Connect them. Come here. 1159 01:19:15,753 --> 01:19:19,006 Connect the... 1160 01:19:20,841 --> 01:19:22,676 What are you looking at, Funky? 1161 01:19:22,843 --> 01:19:26,012 Funky, where you go? These four walls, you just stay. Bounce. 1162 01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:29,890 Bing-bing-bing-bing-bing. Like a pinball. That's it. You can't run. 1163 01:19:36,855 --> 01:19:38,940 Hey, hall monitor! 1164 01:19:55,663 --> 01:19:58,832 ♪ 1165 01:20:17,140 --> 01:20:19,017 Francesca? 1166 01:20:21,227 --> 01:20:26,148 ♪ 1167 01:20:27,274 --> 01:20:29,151 Francesca? 1168 01:20:32,070 --> 01:20:36,574 - Francesca? # This is This is all I can do # 1169 01:20:36,741 --> 01:20:40,661 # It's all I can do And it's all right # 1170 01:20:44,623 --> 01:20:48,584 ♪ 1171 01:20:59,552 --> 01:21:02,013 ♪ 1172 01:21:02,096 --> 01:21:04,223 Mathematically, it's a percentage of your life. 1173 01:21:04,390 --> 01:21:09,019 Four years. 48 months. 1,461 days. 1174 01:21:09,102 --> 01:21:12,022 High school is prom, football games, boyfriends, girlfriends, 1175 01:21:12,105 --> 01:21:16,108 party at the rich kid's house, fun, simple, wholesome. 1176 01:21:16,275 --> 01:21:18,903 But it's really anything but. 1177 01:21:19,069 --> 01:21:21,780 High school might be the least wholesome four years of your life, 1178 01:21:21,947 --> 01:21:23,990 and there's nothing simple about it. 1179 01:21:24,074 --> 01:21:27,785 High school is ugly, hard and complicated, 1180 01:21:27,952 --> 01:21:30,996 as complicated as a conspiracy to assassinate the president. 1181 01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:35,000 A conspiracy about to be uncovered. 1182 01:22:04,609 --> 01:22:06,611 Alex Schneider and the Mullen brothers... 1183 01:22:06,778 --> 01:22:09,363 had been selling prescription drugs since their sophomore year. 1184 01:22:09,530 --> 01:22:14,159 The Mullens' dad was an orthopedist with a habit of boning his patients. 1185 01:22:14,326 --> 01:22:16,161 When he split with one of them, 1186 01:22:16,328 --> 01:22:19,456 the hip doctor left his family his van and a box of prescription pads. 1187 01:22:19,664 --> 01:22:23,000 The brothers made due with their inheritance. 1188 01:22:23,084 --> 01:22:25,544 # Your booty is the ice I'm the Zamboni # 1189 01:22:25,711 --> 01:22:28,338 The Mullens weren't competent enough to run things on their own. 1190 01:22:28,505 --> 01:22:33,009 Yo, shit biscuit! These bottles aren't gonna fill themselves. 1191 01:22:33,092 --> 01:22:35,803 Initially, the market for academic performance enhancers... 1192 01:22:35,970 --> 01:22:37,805 wasn't as ripe as they'd hoped. 1193 01:22:37,972 --> 01:22:41,934 So like good businessmen, they created a demand. 1194 01:22:43,101 --> 01:22:45,520 They sabotaged tests throughout the school, 1195 01:22:45,687 --> 01:22:49,398 targeting the students they knew would fold from the pressure. 1196 01:22:49,565 --> 01:22:53,110 If you erase enough bubbles, you can erase a kids future. 1197 01:22:53,277 --> 01:22:55,028 It's supply and demand, son. 1198 01:22:55,112 --> 01:22:57,489 Business boomed, 1199 01:22:57,656 --> 01:23:03,411 so much so that they started dipping into student council funds to use as venture capital. 1200 01:23:03,577 --> 01:23:07,039 P. Moore wasn't exactly Alan Greenspan. 1201 01:23:07,122 --> 01:23:09,207 But it didn't take an economic genius to figure out... 1202 01:23:09,374 --> 01:23:11,710 that hundreds of dollars were being shifted around weekly. 1203 01:23:13,378 --> 01:23:15,546 Paul told Marlon what he'd discovered, 1204 01:23:15,713 --> 01:23:18,799 said he was gonna put the kibosh on Alex's creative accounting. 1205 01:23:18,966 --> 01:23:22,010 Marlon couldn't have that. Things were too good. 1206 01:23:22,135 --> 01:23:25,055 He had big plans, and the president was in the way. 1207 01:23:28,641 --> 01:23:31,477 He needed Paul out of the picture. 1208 01:23:33,937 --> 01:23:40,526 # Yeah, you close my eyes 1209 01:23:40,693 --> 01:23:47,199 # Yeah, you close my eyes # 1210 01:23:51,119 --> 01:23:55,039 - What's going on, guys? - Funky... 1211 01:23:55,123 --> 01:23:58,167 You just don't know when to quit, do you? 1212 01:23:58,334 --> 01:24:01,712 Guess not. Gum? 1213 01:24:04,839 --> 01:24:09,552 Changing the answers on the S.A.T.'s so you can sell more drugs. It's clever, Marlon. 1214 01:24:09,719 --> 01:24:13,472 Twisted, but clever nonetheless. 1215 01:24:13,639 --> 01:24:16,224 Should make for a great story. 1216 01:24:16,391 --> 01:24:18,518 Bad move, Funky. 1217 01:24:18,685 --> 01:24:21,270 Open that window and bring him over. 1218 01:24:27,651 --> 01:24:31,363 Okay, here's the real story. Bobby Funky made a few bad decisions, 1219 01:24:31,529 --> 01:24:33,906 lost his girlfriend and up and jumped out the window. 1220 01:24:34,073 --> 01:24:37,159 - Just another tormented freshman. - I'm a sophomore, dick! 1221 01:24:39,078 --> 01:24:43,039 - Throw his ass out. - You won't do it. 1222 01:24:43,123 --> 01:24:46,084 Oh, I won't? These sorts of things happen all the time. 1223 01:24:46,251 --> 01:24:49,337 There's a lot of pressure here at St. Donovan's. 1224 01:24:49,503 --> 01:24:51,755 Throw him out! 1225 01:24:53,007 --> 01:24:55,050 Fine. I'll do it myself. 1226 01:24:55,133 --> 01:24:59,596 - Hey! Let him go! - Hey, hey! Ahh! Ahh! Calmate. 1227 01:24:59,762 --> 01:25:02,056 Put him down! Delicately. 1228 01:25:02,140 --> 01:25:06,310 - How'd they know you were here? - I might have made an announcement. 1229 01:25:21,907 --> 01:25:23,158 Funky. 1230 01:25:26,161 --> 01:25:29,247 Bob Woodward once said that the first rule of good journalism... 1231 01:25:29,413 --> 01:25:32,916 is never reveal the story before it goes to print. 1232 01:25:33,083 --> 01:25:36,545 But Woodward wasn't in love with Francesca Fachini. 1233 01:25:36,711 --> 01:25:41,049 Before I cleared my name with the school, I had to clear it with her. 1234 01:25:41,174 --> 01:25:44,385 I had to tell her I'd figured it all out. 1235 01:25:49,139 --> 01:25:51,683 # Pick us up 1236 01:25:51,850 --> 01:25:56,312 - Turns out, I hadn't. # We're all by ourselves 1237 01:25:59,857 --> 01:26:04,110 # The great big howling is 1238 01:26:04,277 --> 01:26:07,655 - # About to begin - You played me, Francesca. 1239 01:26:09,365 --> 01:26:13,369 - You played Paul. - # A thousand miles from where # 1240 01:26:13,535 --> 01:26:16,038 You played the whole damn school. 1241 01:26:17,289 --> 01:26:19,165 Look out! Look out! Look out! 1242 01:26:19,332 --> 01:26:22,502 I need everybody to file out of this office. 1243 01:26:22,668 --> 01:26:25,629 Everybody except you five. 1244 01:26:25,796 --> 01:26:28,882 The five of you are in big fucking trouble. 1245 01:26:29,091 --> 01:26:33,303 Stay right there. Get out of my way. You too, bonehead. 1246 01:26:33,469 --> 01:26:36,222 You'll never understand why I did it. 1247 01:26:40,476 --> 01:26:43,478 Nobody's misunderstood, Francesca. 1248 01:26:43,645 --> 01:26:46,523 It's just what people say when they don't like who they are. 1249 01:26:51,068 --> 01:26:53,278 Bobby, wait. 1250 01:26:57,907 --> 01:27:01,119 Forget it, Funky. It's high school. 1251 01:27:05,372 --> 01:27:08,583 - # Going on - # Forfeit 1252 01:27:08,750 --> 01:27:10,585 - # The shape to fit - # And on 1253 01:27:10,752 --> 01:27:13,171 - # The backhand to touch - # Forfeit 1254 01:27:13,338 --> 01:27:15,548 - # Is moving on again - # The shape to fit 1255 01:27:15,715 --> 01:27:18,050 - # Going on - # Forfeit 1256 01:27:18,175 --> 01:27:21,011 - # The shape to fit - # And on 1257 01:27:21,136 --> 01:27:23,597 # What's next I'm out of time # 1258 01:27:23,763 --> 01:27:26,057 # Losing my touch I can't feel # 1259 01:27:26,182 --> 01:27:28,726 # Speak for me Do you see the same signs # 1260 01:27:28,893 --> 01:27:31,312 # Do you know how to read between the lines # 1261 01:27:31,520 --> 01:27:33,897 # All in all It's all or none # 1262 01:27:34,064 --> 01:27:38,109 # All for one What you want # 1263 01:27:44,115 --> 01:27:47,326 # Pick us out 1264 01:27:47,493 --> 01:27:50,579 # Of a lineup 1265 01:27:54,415 --> 01:27:57,668 # Stranded and strange 1266 01:27:57,835 --> 01:28:02,923 # Just as innocent as kids 1267 01:28:04,299 --> 01:28:11,180 # The found are leaving and they're trying to forget # 1268 01:28:11,347 --> 01:28:19,062 # The old world The whole world is # 1269 01:28:19,187 --> 01:28:22,607 # Going on # Forfeit 1270 01:28:22,773 --> 01:28:24,733 # The shape to fit # And on 1271 01:28:24,900 --> 01:28:27,069 # The backhand to touch # Forfeit 1272 01:28:27,152 --> 01:28:29,196 # Is moving on again # The shape to fit 1273 01:28:29,363 --> 01:28:32,782 # Going on # Forfeit 1274 01:28:32,991 --> 01:28:34,951 # The shape to fit # And on 1275 01:28:35,118 --> 01:28:37,453 # What's next I'm out of time # 1276 01:28:37,620 --> 01:28:40,039 # Losing my touch I can't feel # 1277 01:28:40,122 --> 01:28:42,624 # Speak for me Do you see the same signs # 1278 01:28:42,791 --> 01:28:45,210 # Do you know how to read between the lines # 1279 01:28:45,377 --> 01:28:47,962 # All in all It's all or none # 1280 01:28:48,129 --> 01:28:53,050 # All for one What you want # 1281 01:28:56,928 --> 01:29:02,058 # Going on and on # 1282 01:29:24,494 --> 01:29:27,872 # All the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1283 01:29:28,039 --> 01:29:31,083 # Raindrops from the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1284 01:29:31,167 --> 01:29:34,461 # River, an ocean A wave in my heart # 1285 01:29:34,670 --> 01:29:39,048 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start. All right # 1286 01:29:44,637 --> 01:29:48,056 # All the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1287 01:29:48,140 --> 01:29:51,309 # Raindrops in the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1288 01:29:51,476 --> 01:29:54,771 # River, an ocean A wave in my heart # 1289 01:29:54,937 --> 01:29:59,441 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start. All right # 1290 01:30:05,989 --> 01:30:09,075 # In another week Promise # 1291 01:30:09,200 --> 01:30:12,494 # In another year I promise # 1292 01:30:12,661 --> 01:30:21,794 # Put your right hand on my heart # 1293 01:30:21,961 --> 01:30:28,425 # Heart 1294 01:30:28,592 --> 01:30:32,011 # Yeah, all the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1295 01:30:32,178 --> 01:30:35,223 # Raindrops in the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1296 01:30:35,389 --> 01:30:38,642 # Bypass the train tracks that lead to my heart # 1297 01:30:38,809 --> 01:30:43,313 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start. All right # 1298 01:30:48,818 --> 01:30:52,154 # Yeah, all the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1299 01:30:52,321 --> 01:30:55,532 # Raindrops in the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1300 01:30:55,699 --> 01:30:58,910 # River, an ocean A wave in my heart # 1301 01:30:59,077 --> 01:31:03,456 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start. All right # 1302 01:31:10,003 --> 01:31:13,298 # In another week Promise # 1303 01:31:13,464 --> 01:31:16,717 # In another year Promise # 1304 01:31:16,884 --> 01:31:26,017 # Put your right hand on my heart # 1305 01:31:26,184 --> 01:31:33,023 # Heart 1306 01:31:33,190 --> 01:31:36,234 # Your right hand on my heart # 1307 01:31:36,359 --> 01:31:39,737 # Your right hand on my heart # 1308 01:31:39,863 --> 01:31:44,283 # Feel the promise of my beating heart # 1309 01:31:45,868 --> 01:31:47,286 # Ohh 1310 01:32:26,195 --> 01:32:28,071 # Wow 1311 01:32:47,130 --> 01:32:50,257 # All the fallen leaves will find their branches again # 1312 01:32:50,424 --> 01:32:53,677 # Raindrops in the heavens I'll eventually swim # 1313 01:32:53,844 --> 01:32:57,055 # River, an ocean A wave in my heart # 1314 01:32:57,138 --> 01:33:01,059 # We got your money Now we'll make a new start #