1
00:00:01,586 --> 00:00:04,964
Visit www.Hokibet99.cc
Trusted Secure Online Gambling Agent
2
00:00:04,964 --> 00:00:09,051
[applause and applause]
3
00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:23,566
- THANK YOU.
THANK YOU MUCH .
4
00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:25,443
THANK YOU.
YOU ARE GOOD ONCE.
5
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:26,736
THANK YOU.
6
00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:30,865
I HOPE I AM ALIVE
FOR YOUR HOPE.
7
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:36,871
p>
8
00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:41,793
I REALIZED TODAY
THAT I NEED A HOBBY,
9
00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:45,713
BECAUSE OF MY WORKING DAY
JUST STARTED, LIKE, NOW.
10
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,131
NOW ALSO.
11
00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:52,762
I MEAN, HERE & apos; S THE THING,
12
00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:55,681
NOT EVEN
THAT BIG PART OF MY DAY.
13
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,016
SO EVEN IF IT DOESN'T GO GOOD,
IT'S LIKE, AH, YOU KNOW,
14
00:00:57,016 --> 00:01:01,103
STILL A PRETTY
A GOOD FUCKING DAY.
15
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,147
LIKE, THAT -
Not a bad day
16
00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,398
THAT - YOU KNOW, PARTS IN
WORK THAT, FOR ONE HOUR,
17
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:08,569
AND THEN I
OTHER BIG DAYS.
18
00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:11,948
& apos; CAUSE MY MAIN LIFE
BASIC, YOU KNOW,
19
00:01:11,948 --> 00:01:13,908
IT> S - IT> S - IT 'S HOTELS.
20
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:18,203
BEING IN A HOTEL,
JUST WAITING FOR SHOW.
21
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,790
SAD, TRUE?
22
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,333
I JUST WAIT
FOR THE WORLD TO START.
23
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:23,793
AND YOU LIKE,
WHAT - WHAT DO I GONNA -
24
00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,628
I MEAN, YOU CAN JERK ONLY OFF
STANDING TIME
25
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:29,507
BEFORE YOU LIKE,
GO HERE,
26
00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:33,678
I GONNA DO AGAIN, BUT...
27
00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:36,931
RIGHT NOW.
28
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:39,558
I HAVE TO FIND
SOMETHING TO DO.
29
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,269
I AM REALLY THE ROOM OF THE ROOM HOTEL.
30
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:48,484
LIKE, IF YOU STAY AT THE HOTEL
ROOM AFTER I STAY THERE,
31
00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:53,072
SHIT IS GONNA ITCH IN YOU, okay?
32
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:55,992
JUST BE HONEST.
33
00:01:55,992 --> 00:01:57,994
DATANG DI, HOTEL BESAR.
34
00:01:57,994 --> 00:01:58,995
EVERYONE LOOKS FOR A HOTEL.
35
00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:00,287
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU CHECK
36
00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:01,580
WITH YOU SIGNIFICANTLY OTHER.
37
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,749
WHY?
BECAUSE YOU KNOW IN THE HOTEL
38
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,292
YOU GONNA HAVE SEX,
39
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,670
AND YOU HAVE GONNA
THE COMPLETE SEX FORM.
40
00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:09,547
YOU HAVE GONNA
HOTEL ROOM SEX,
41
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:11,382
WHERE,
LET & S; S SEX,
42
00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:16,470
BUT LET & apos; S ALSO
DISCOVER THIS ROOM.
43
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,805
YES.
44
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:22,727
I DO THAT, TOO,
EXCEPT ME ALONE.
45
00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:27,523
LIKE, I ALWAYS SEND MY BALLS
IN CURTAINS,
46
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:30,902
BECAUSE I KNOW
/> THEY DON'T CHANGE THEM.
47
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:33,946
THINK ABOUT THAT THE NEXT TIME
YOU WANT SOME SUNLIGHT.
48
00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:39,660
[laughter]
OR NOT.
49
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:43,915
JUST KNOW THAT IT WAS ON YOU
HANDS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
50
00:02:43,915 --> 00:02:46,876
HERE WHAT I TRIED
TO FIND OUT.
51
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:49,420
I GOT TO
ONLINE SHOPPING recently.
52
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:52,131
I KNOW IT WAS THAT .
53
00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:53,507
HERE WHAT
I DO THOUGHT.
54
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,718
I HAVE THINGS
THAT, LIKE,
55
00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:58,470
HOW FROM PRICE RANGE MY.
56
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:01,181
AND THEN AFTER WHEN,
I GO, "OH, YEAH.
57
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,017
I CANNOT BE THAT."
58
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:07,438
LIKE A DAY THIS,
I'M LOOKING FOR ONLINE YACHTS.
59
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,899
AND THEN I SAY MYSELF
I DO NOT WANT THEM,
60
00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:12,902
AS IF THEY ARE OPTIONS,
YOU KNOW?
61
00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:14,946
I LIKE, "155 FEET?
IT'S NOT EVEN
62
00:03:14,946 --> 00:03:16,114
" GREAT ENOUGH FOR
ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILIES.
63
00:03:16,114 --> 00:03:18,574
I DON'T GET THAT SHIT. "
64
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,576
WHAT AM FUCK DO I DO?
65
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:21,994
Have you done it before?
66
00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:23,328
YOU NEVER GO, LIKE,
HOLE RABBIT ONLINE,
67
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,372
AND THEN, LIKE,
Six HOURS HAVE BEEN MADE BY,
68
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,208
AND YOU LIKE, "I SHOPPING
FOR PERSONAL JET
69
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,712
" THE BEST OF MY NEEDS. SUITE.
70
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,089
"I THINK I WAS FOUND -
THIS IS TRUE HERE.
71
00:03:33,089 --> 00:03:34,214
G550. "
72
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,134
HOW MUCH IS THIS?
ORDER PLACE.
73
00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:39,095
$ 53 MILLION?
74
00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:42,347
GOOD, MAY NOT NOW,
BUT MAY BE LATER.
75
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,642
I JUST BOOKMARK
THAT SHIT NOW.
76
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:48,562
BOOP.
77
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,981
Do you know what that is?
78
00:03:49,981 --> 00:03:51,816
IT IS THE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.
79
00:03:51,816 --> 00:03:55,194
THAT I THINK I HAVE TO
RELATED TO THIS THING.
80
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,988
AND I DON'T HAVE IT.
I don't.
81
00:03:56,988 --> 00:04:00,574
NEVER HAVE YOU,
BUT ALSO I.
82
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:04,495
I GOT THAT FEELS THE MOST WHEN ANYONE
I GET UPGRADED TO THE FIRST CLASS.
83
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:06,497
YES.
I AM EVERY WEEK.
84
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:08,624
I have never buy it
FIRST CLASS TICKET.
85
00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:09,625
I BUY TRAINER TICKETS.
86
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,835
I BUY THEM MUCH,
87
00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:12,711
I HAVE TO BUY THE FIRST CLASS.
88
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:16,799
I SAY YOU, MOMENT
I WILL RETURN TO THE FIRST CLASS,
89
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,218
I GET WASHED OVER
WITH THIS FEEL.
90
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:21,386
I LIKE, "CHECK THIS IS FUCKING
VERY LONG FROM SHIT
91
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:25,141
ABOUT MY APPEARANCE.
UGH. "
92
00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:27,434
I AM MUCH BETTER THAN THEM.
93
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,145
DO NOT KEEP IT TO MY NEXT.
94
00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:32,314
UGH, DUDE.
95
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,441
I DARE TO TRY
TO COME FROM TRAINING
96
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,610
DAN MENGGUNAKAN KAMAR MANDI PERTAMA
KETIKA aku ADA.
97
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,113
I WILL HAVE MY HANDS ON YOUR CHAIN,
GOOD?
98
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,991
NO.
NO.
99
00:04:41,991 --> 00:04:43,826
THERE IS A PIG TROUGH
BEHIND.
100
00:04:43,826 --> 00:04:45,953
IT'S FOR YOU GUYS.
101
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:51,125
IT IS FOR BIG OFFERS
IN ADVANCE.
102
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,418
SOME PEOPLE
BUY FIRST CLASS TICKETS.
103
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,171
p>
104
00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:56,714
I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THEY KNOW
YOU GET UPGRADED.
105
00:04:56,714 --> 00:05:01,135
THEY ALWAYS GIVE YOU
LIKE LIKE,
106
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:05,514
"NGOMONG-NGOMONG, < br> WE KNOW TO KNOW. "
107
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,141
YOU CAN SIT UP HERE,
BUT YOU DON'T LIKE US.
108
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,685
GOD, IT & AP; S SO WEIRD.
109
00:05:09,685 --> 00:05:12,104
PEOPLE - PEOPLE ASK ME -
LIKE, I CAN BE ASKED
110
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:14,982
FUCKING TRAVEL ADVICE
FROM STRANGER
111
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,276
WE CAN ONLY BREAK DOWN
HOW IS THE CRAZY?
112
00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:18,194
"Hey, are you TRAVELING MUCH, TRUE?"
113
00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:19,486
AND I LIKE, "YEAH."
114
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,281
THEY LIKE,
"WHY DO I HAVE TO GO?"
115
00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:26,244
UH, I DON'T WALK
KNOW YOU, MAN.
116
00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:28,746
YOU ASK THE TRIP WALKING TO PEOPLE
WHO KNOW YOU ARE INTIMATELY.
117
00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:29,914
THEY KNOW YOU ARE GOOD.
118
00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:31,123
THEY CAN KILL YOU
119
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,833
BASED ON WHAT
THEY KNOW ABOUT YOU.
120
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:36,170
I MEAN, YOU DO NOT ASK THE KEY < br>> FEEDBACK, TRUE?
121
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:38,338
YOU LIKE, "HEY, MAN, WHERE DO I HAVE TO EAT TONIGHT?"
122
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,174
I KNOW I NEVER ADDED YOU BEFORE < br /> IN MY LIFE,
123
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:42,051
BUT YOU THINK YOU CAN GIVE YOU
I RECOMMEND
124
00:05:42,051 --> 00:05:45,345
UH, YEAH
KAMU HARUS MENCOBANYA
INI DIM SUM TEMPAT.
125
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,224
BUT THEN, THAT PEOPLE MAY GO,
"OH, I HATE THE WORLD ASIA."
126
00:05:48,224 --> 00:05:50,101
AND YOU LIKE,
"OH, SHIT.
127
00:05:50,101 --> 00:05:52,519
I DON'T KNOW THAT ABOUT YOU. "
128
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,438
" YEAH, I KILL,
LIKE, FOUR THEM. "
129
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:57,983
" WHAT ARE YOU LIKE,
SERIAL KILLER, OR SOMETHING? "
130
00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:01,987
" YES. "
131
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,363
NOW, YOU WILL BE IN AWGWARD
CONVERSION
132
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:07,701
WITH KILLER SERIALS.
133
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,245
HERE I'M GOING TO SAY.
134
00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:11,080
I CANNOT SAY YOU WERE GOING.
135
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,124
I CAN TELL YOU
WHERE DOES NOT GO.
136
00:06:13,124 --> 00:06:18,629
WHERE THEIR MOVIES ARE
48 FIRST ON A & E.
137
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:21,840
OH, IF YOU ARE NOT FAMILY
SHOW, HERE WHAT IT IS.
138
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:26,262
REAL FOLLOWING CREWS CAMERA
HOMICIDE DETECTIVE
139
00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:29,765
FOR THE FIRST 48 HOURS
AFTER KILLING.
140
00:06:29,765 --> 00:06:33,894
AND THE REASONS ARE TIME
DISTINCTION SO SO IMPORTANT,
141
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:37,022
ARE AFTER 48 HOURS, UH,
142
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:41,152
THEY GIVE TO THAT KILLING.
143
00:06:41,152 --> 00:06:42,527
THEY LIKE,
"SOME OLD SHITS.
144
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,156
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY?"
145
00:06:45,156 --> 00:06:47,074
YOU LIKE,
"HOW DO YOU BECOME A TRY
146
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,617
"TO MEET THAT MURDER, MAN?
147
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,286
" THAT SHIT HAPPENS IN WEEK.
THIS IS WEDNESDAY.
148
00:06:50,286 --> 00:06:52,830
WE ARE NOT GONNA
CARE THAT SHIT. "
149
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,456
VERY?
150
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:58,210
THERE ARE MUCH MUCH AMAZING
MOMENTS SHOWING - MANY LOTS.
151
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,545
MANY OF THE
EPISODE TAKE A PATH SIMILAR.
152
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,214
I'M WRITTEN AWAY,
FIRST,
153
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,175
IN HOW MUCH TIME IS THERE
OPPORTUNITIES FOR KILLING.
154
00:07:04,175 --> 00:07:05,634
THIS IS CRAZY.
155
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,261
I ALWAYS DESTROY THE MURDERS
HAPPENING IN DARK ALLEYS,
156
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:08,346
NOBODY SAW SHIT.
157
00:07:08,346 --> 00:07:09,763
NO.
ANY OTHER EPISODE,
158
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,349
THEY LIKE,
"YOU SEE THAT SHIT?"
159
00:07:11,349 --> 00:07:13,184
AND HEALTHY HISTORY,
"I WAS THAT SHIT YEAH."
160
00:07:13,184 --> 00:07:16,979
"WHERE?"
"RIGHT HERE."
161
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:17,980
"VERY?"
162
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,315
"I STAND HERE,
163
00:07:19,315 --> 00:07:24,444
AND THEN HE KILLED
THAT DUDE IS THERE."
164
00:07:27,365 --> 00:07:29,074
"WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?"
165
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,869
p>
166
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:35,289
"HE, LIKE, 5 & apos; 2" to 6 "8",
SOMETHING LIKE IT. "
167
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:38,417
" IT WAS A WALKING DESCRIPTION
YOU GONNA GIVE US? "
168
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,710
" UH HUH. "
169
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:42,129
" WHAT'S ANYTHING about him? "
170
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,714
" YEAH, HE SHOULD GET. "
171
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,090
"THANK YOU."
172
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,719
"NO PROBLEM."
173
00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:49,845
THEY STILL WILL BE
SKETCH THAT SHIT OUT.
174
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:50,846
"DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY?"
175
00:07:50,846 --> 00:07:52,931
AND LIKE EVERYONE, "NAH."
176
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:55,684
BUT THEN ONE GUY & APO; LL
LIKE, "YEAH!
177
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,102
That RIGHT CRICKET THERE IS. "
178
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,397
THEY LIKE,
" OH, SHIT.
179
00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:00,731
YOU KNOW HIM? "
180
00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:04,235
"I KNOW & Apos; CRICKET
27 YEARS."
181
00:08:04,235 --> 00:08:05,694
"WHAT IS THEIR NAME?"
182
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:06,695
"MAN, IT'S JUST CRICKET.
183
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,780
I AM NOT KNOW. "
184
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,366
STOP DEAD WHITE AND US.
185
00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:11,825
IT IS THE PERFECT TRIP
IMPRESSION,
186
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:15,704
AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY
WHO WHAT IS IT, OK?
187
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:19,291
YEAH, IT'S BLACK GUY AND
HE LIKES A WIFE BEATER,
188
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,336
AND HE GETS A DIRTY DIRTY
AND HE HAS A CIGARETTE
189
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,797
HANGING FROM THE MOUTH,
AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT 33,
190
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:29,718
BUT YOU FIND
HE IS 76 years old.
191
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,804
AND SHE HAD SUPER AGRATICALLY
TO COPS.
192
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,390
LIKE, "I HAVE HERE
TO MINUTE!"
193
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:35,515
AND THEY LIKE, < br /> "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT
194
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,643
" JESUS CHRIST.
195
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,771
WHEN LAST TIME
ARE YOU SAW HIM? "
196
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:44,108
" HE COMES THROUGH
WITH JELLYFISH LAST WEEK.
197
00:08:44,108 --> 00:08:45,650
THEY LOVE & APOS;
FOR SOME COOLS! "
198
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,528
AND THEY LIKE,
" ALL THE RIGHT OF JESUS CHRIST. "
199
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,573
THEY'VE ALWAYS CUT THE WHITEST
DETECTIVE OF THAT GUY IS TOO.
200
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,658
THEY CUT FROM THAT GUY
FOR A LIKE READY,
201
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:57,037
"I DON'T THINK
HE GONNA HELP US OUT.
202
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:02,376
WE HAVE TO FIND
CRICKET ON OUR OWN. "
203
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:06,464
WHICH SHOWS THE BEST MOMENT
IN TELEVISION.
204
00:09:06,464 --> 00:09:08,673
IT IS THE MOST DRAMATIC OF YOUR THING
CAN NEVER SEE,
205
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,635
& apos; CAUSE REAL LIFE,
AND IT IS AN INTERROGATION.
206
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,637
AMAZING INTERROGATION.
207
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,389
BECAUSE IT IS THIS IS
ABOUT DRAMA -
208
00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,766
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE
A GREAT, DRAMATIC MOMENT,
209
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:18,934
RAISE THE STAKES.
210
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,060
WHAT IS THE CANCEE?
211
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,437
NO STORE HIGHER
212
00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:22,729
FROM ANYONE ASKED FOR
213
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,316
ABOUT TAKING
SOMEBODY ELSE LIFE.
214
00:09:25,316 --> 00:09:27,318
IT IS INHERENTLY COMPELLING
TELEVISION.
215
00:09:27,318 --> 00:09:30,028
IT IS ALSO SUPER SERIOUS.
216
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:34,325
BUT THE INSIST ON DETECTIVES
USE SUSPECT NURSTAHS; S STREET,
217
00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:36,618
SO THE WHOLE THING TURNS
TO FUCKING CARDS .
218
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,663
LIKE, THEY'RE REALLY LIKE,
"YOUR LIFE HAPPENS ON LINE.
219
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:40,705
" WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
220
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:41,957
"WHY YOU DO NOT HAVE A SEAT,
221
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:43,292
"UH, LITTLE STANK?
222
00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:45,919
"WHY ARE YOU NOT BELOW?
FOR BOTH?
223
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:51,383
ARE YOU OR NOT YOU
KNOW DOOKIE SHOES?"
224
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:54,886
"I DON'T KNOW NO SHOES DOOKIE. "
225
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:57,722
" I HAVE A PICTURE OF YOU HANGING
WITH A DOOCIE SHOE. "
226
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:00,767
" I MEAN, I SEE HIM.
227
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,811
I DON'T KNOW HIM. "
228
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:05,105
AND THEN, THEY SEE ONE BIT.
EVIDENCE AGAINST THE WALL,
229
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,940
HOPING ITLL SOLVE THE CASE.
230
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:10,277
LIKE, "WELL, WE WERE
KEEP & apos; TO NAH & apos; MEAN,
231
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:14,072
AND HE'S ONLY THAT YOU ARE AT AT
LAST WEEK 7-ELEVEN."
232
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,782
AND HE WILL LIKE, "YEAH,
I LOVE HIM IN THE FACE."
233
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:18,494
AND YOU LIKE,
"GODDAMN, REALLY?"
234
00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:21,079
IT WAS THAT'S
TO BREAK YOU?
235
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,123
DUDE, LIE.
236
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,584
Life for longer
237
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,336
YOU CAN KILL ANYONE,
YOU CAN'T EXPECT
238
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,671
FOR TEN FUCKING MINUTES
ABOUT IT?
239
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,465
LIKE, DUDES WILL BREAK
ON ANYTHING
240
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:32,550
THEY & apos; LL LIKE,
"WE LISTEN TO YOU HAD ON
241
00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:33,967
LAST SHIRT BLUE SHAST."
242
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,137
"YEAH, I STABBED < br /> THEY ARE FOUR PEOPLE. "
243
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,182
DUDE, MANY PEOPLE
HAVE BLUE SHIRTS, MAN.
244
00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,434
YOU CAN STILL
GET OUT OF THIS
245
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:46,104
HERE WHAT I LEARNED
WATCHING THE SHOWS, okay?
246
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:48,357
LAWYER UP.
247
00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,108
YOU CANNOT HANDLE THAT SHIT.
248
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:52,528
EVERYTHING IS LIKE,
"I GONNA SPEAK WITH KPS
249
00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:53,945
AND STRAIGHTEN
THIS IS ALWAYS."
250
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:55,239
YOU GONNA DO 25 LIFE.
251
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:57,866
HAVE BEEN FUN WITH THAT, MAN.
252
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,618
THERE IS NO INTENDED FOR LAWYERS.
253
00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:03,539
I SEE 300 PEOPLE GET
DEPENDS ON THIS SHOW.
254
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:05,332
TWO OF THEM LIKE,
"CAN I SPEAK TO LAWYER?"
255
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:10,337
AND BOTH TIME, DETECTIVE
LIKE, "FUCK!"
256
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,881
AND THEN, AT THE FINALLY THEIR
EPISODE, IT'S ONLY SCREEN,
257
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:17,928
"ALL COSTS AGAINST TAYSHAUN < br>> Done DROPPED. "
258
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:20,222
OR JIM
PICK A FUCKING NAME.
259
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:22,724
LET HONEST.
260
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,976
NO JIMS IN SHOW.
261
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:28,564
I SEE EVERY EPISODE, AND
NONE START WITH,
262
00:11:28,564 --> 00:11:32,025
"HEY, BRYCE, CAN WE TALK TO YOU
FOR BOTH, MAN?
263
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,527
WHERE DO YOU BECOME FRIDAY? "
264
00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:37,531
" I'M ABOVE THE TANNER HOUSE.
265
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:41,285
"THEN SKYLAR HAS A PARTY,
SO WE GO OVER THERE.
266
00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:45,289
"AND THEN, WE HAVE CONNOR,
AND WE HAVE PANCAKES.
267
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:47,499
" SORRY, BRO.
268
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:52,963
DETECTIVE BRO, BRO. "
269
00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:58,510
I'RE CONTINUING WITH GOD, THERE IS NO MORE
LOOKING FOR AND FUN TO DO IT
270
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,178
IN THIS WORLD FROM SOUND
271
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:02,514
IN YOUR BEST AGGRESSIVE
BLACK GUY VOICE.
272
00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:05,309
HOLY SHIT.
VERY PLEASANT.
273
00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,102
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU TO DO IT.
274
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:08,395
NO IF YOU ARE BLACK.
275
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,521
NOT IF YOU ARE BLACK.
276
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,731
p>
277
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,899
IF YOU ARE BLACK,
YOU'RE DOING IT.
278
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,859
BUT IF YOU ARE WHITE, DO IT.
279
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:17,696
DO IT IN THE PUBLIC
280
00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:19,323
WHAT IS WHERE
THERE ARE BLACK PEOPLE.
281
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:23,452
AND HERE IS A SMALL SECRET,
IF YOU DO IT IS GOOD,
282
00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,287
THERE IS POSSIBILITY
283
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:27,038
THAT A BLACK GUY
WILL RETURN BACK.
284
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:29,833
NO EVER
A SHORTAGE THERE IS.
285
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,627
I did
I BACK AND I GO,
286
00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,712
"HEY, YO!"
287
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:37,508
AND SOMETIMES - SOMETIMES,
A BLACK GUY; LL GO, "SUP, D?"
288
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:41,595
[laughter]
289
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:48,727
I did it
BIG DADDY KANE ONE TIME.
290
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:49,687
I SWEET TO GOD.
291
00:12:49,687 --> 00:12:52,105
I SWEAR - HANDS TO GOD.
292
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,565
IF YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO IS BIG DADDY KANE IS ,
293
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:57,777
YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF, okay?
294
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,779
I STAND
IN SUNSET BOULEVARD.
295
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,281
A LIMOUSINE PULLED UP.
- WHOO!
296
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,741
- LIKE - FOR SUNSET?
VERY?
GOOD.
297
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,035
[laughter]
298
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,787
A PULLED UP LIMO, LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW, 30 FEET FROM ME.
299
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,331
I'M JUST, LIKE, ALL TRUE.
SEE THE OPEN DOOR
300
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:10,957
WHO IS GETTING
FROM THIS LIMO?
301
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,502
EXPECT, LIKE, BACHELOR
SOME PARTIES OR SHITS.
302
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:14,753
GREAT FUCKING DADDY KANE.
303
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,297
I LIKE,
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
304
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,299
AND SOMETHING IS ONLY ASKING OVER,
YOU KNOW?
305
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,677
SPIRIT GRABBED ME.
306
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:24,513
AND I LIKE,
"& apos; SUP, KANE? & apos;
307
00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:27,558
AND HEAD HEAD WHO COME AROUND,
AND HE LIKE," YOU? "
308
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:30,227
AND I LIKE,
"NUH-UH, IT'S NOT ME.
309
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:32,521
" SOMEONE OVER THERE IS
THAT SHIT.
310
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:36,400
THAT NO. "
311
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:41,488
IF YOU NEVER SEE THE KANE DADDY IRON,
PLEASE DO THE SAME AS IT.
312
00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:47,369
EVERY WEEK,
OTHER CITIES FOR ME.
313
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:50,163
I GET THE SAME QUESTION
EVERY WEEK BY PEOPLE.
314
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:54,209
"ARE PEOPLE
SAME WHERE WHERE?"
315
00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:55,960
TIDAK.
316
00:13:55,960 --> 00:14:00,716
SOME SPOTS
AND THEY HAVE A SHITTIER.
317
00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:02,718
I ONLY GIVE YOU
SOCIOLOGY LEVELS.
318
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:06,971
HOW ABOUT IT?
You like that?
319
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,182
HERE ONE UNIVERSAL TRUTH
ABOUT PEOPLE, ENOUGH.
320
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,183
THIS ONE IS TRUE,
321
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,518
AND THAT IS EVERYONE
322
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,395
JUST WANT TO CONTACT.
323
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:16,732
IT'S NOT A PROBLEM WHERE YOU GO,
OR WHAT LANGUAGE YOU SPEAK,
324
00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:18,983
PEOPLE WANT ONLY TO CONTACT.
325
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,069
AND YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE
CHEMISTRY WITH SOMEBODY.
326
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,113
YOU KNOW IF YOU LIKE, "I WANT
TO OUT WITH THIS PERSON,"
327
00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,198
OR "I WANT
FOR THE DATE OF THIS PEOPLE,"
328
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,367
OR "I WANT TO APPRECIATE THIS
PEOPLE TO THE BOTTOM
329
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,412
" I AM GREAT BIG AND THEIR DRIVE < br /> AROUND FOR A TIME
330
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,415
"AND THEIR MILES 18 MILES WEST
LAKE WORTH.
331
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,500
AND WHEN I DRIVE BY,
I WILL GIVE BONER."
332
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:40,046
WE ALL HAVE THIS THOUGHT,
RIGHT?
333
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,965
SOMETHING IS NOTHING,
334
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,550
AND PEOPLE TRY
TO DECIDE IMMEDIATELY.
335
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,343
I THINK THAT SHIT & APO ; S RUDE.
336
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,387
I CHECKED TO THE HOTEL
SOME WEEKS.
337
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,847
GUY COMES FROM
STOP COUNTER
338
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,140
AND HE GOES ,
"WHERE DO YOU COME?"
339
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,600
I SAY,
"LOS ANGELES."
340
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,311
AND HE GOES, "YEAH,
I LOVE THE FAMILY IN DENVER. "
341
00:14:54,311 --> 00:14:59,065
AND I LIKE,
" ONCE DIFFICULTY. "
342
00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:02,444
AND HE GOES," YEAH,
THEY HAVE A FURNITURE SHOP. "
344
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:07,115
I LOVE SIT ON FURNITURE.
345
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,785
WE ARE TWO FOR TWO.
346
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:12,412
I HAVE SHOES.
DO YOU HAVE SHOES ON?
347
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,665
DO YOU WANT WALKING AROUND?
349
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,502
THERE IS NO THERE.
350
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:20,879
SOMETIMES,
THERE IS NO THERE.
351
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,088
And that's fine
353
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,300
WITH EVERYONE ON THE PLANET.
354
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:26,593
THAT WILL BE REQUIRED.
355
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,636
YOU MUST EMBRACE IT.
356
00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:28,887
I DO IT.
357
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:29,847
YOU MUST DO IT.
358
00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:31,264
YOUR FOLLOWING TIME IN THE BAR
359
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,558
OR YOU ARE JUST OUT
STREETS,
360
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:35,352
AND SOMEONE GOES, < br /> "HE BRO."
361
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:38,605
JUST GO, "NOPE.
364
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:48,657
LIKE," I JUST SAY MY FRIENDS
WHAT TIME IS. "
365
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:53,537
YOU WILL FEEL LIKE A DICK, BUT
THEN YOU GET FASTER FAST.
368
00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,170
I FIND YOURSELF
LIKE," HEY, MAN,
369
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,465
"ARE OTHERS
LOOKING FOR THIS SHIT NOW?
370
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:08,927
DO I HAVE PARALLEL
FINDING A UNIVERSE OR SOMETHING?"
371
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:12,222
LIKE, I HAVE TO BUY A COFFEE
ONLY SOME WEEKS OF AGO
372
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,098
FROM A COFFEE PLACE.
373
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,392
THERE IS NO CONFUSION ONLY.
374
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:16,852
I DO NOT GO TO SHOE STORE.
375
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:18,896
I GO TO A COFFEE PLACE, okay?
376
00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:20,522
I GO TO LADY
WHERE COUNTER,
377
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:22,148
AND I GO, < br /> "CAN I HAVE A COFFEE?"
378
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,902
AND HE GOES, "GOOD,
WE HAVE SPECIAL PROMOTIONS,
379
00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:29,072
" AND TODAY, FOR $ 2, < br /> YOU CAN GET THIS BEVERAGE,
380
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:32,325
"AND HAVE VANILLA, AND - AND
There is CREIP WHIPPED
381
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,787
AND THERE IS THE SPRINKLE."
382
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,873
AND I LIKE, "
THAT.
383
00:16:37,873 --> 00:16:41,042
" I DO NOT WANT IT.
384
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,961
MAY I HAVE A COFFEE? "
385
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:48,842
" AND HE GOES,
IT WAS THE LAST DAY...
386
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,261
THIS SPECIAL PROMOTION. "
387
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:52,512
AND I LIKE,
" OH, I THINK I'M UNDERSTANDING
388
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,515
"COMPLETE SPACE
PROMOTION.
389
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,976
MAY I HAVE A COFFEE?"
390
00:16:57,976 --> 00:17:00,478
AND HE LIKE,
"YOU HAVE ACCIDENTS."
391
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,774
THIS IS THIS, THIS WOMEN
WAS ENORMOUS, OK?
392
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:07,778
HE IS HU - HE LOOKS LIKE FOUR
PEOPLE ARE TRAVELING TO ONE.
393
00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:08,987
LIKE I LIKE,
"YOU KNOW WHAT?
394
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:10,321
" YOU ARE SUPER FAT.
395
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,031
"YOU KNOW WHEN
TASTES SHIT GOOD.
396
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:16,202
CALCULATED HOOK.
I WANT TO TRY IT, ALL RIGHT? "
397
00:17:17,955 --> 00:17:19,790
AND HE GOES,
" IT'S $ 2. "
398
00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:21,082
AND I GO,
"OK."
399
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,834
AND THEN I EXTENDED A $ 20,
400
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,587
AND HE GOES...
401
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:27,380
AND I GO,
> "PLEASE ME?"
402
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,883
DAN DIA GOES, "AKU TIDAK MEMILIKI
PERUBAHAN UNTUK ITU. "
403
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:36,306
AND I LIKE, "OH, SO WHAT
DO YOU WANT TO DO NOW?
404
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:40,602
DO YOU SAY I AM TOO MUCH
MONEY TO SHOP HERE?"
405
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,479
AND HE GOES,
"WE CAN'T HANDLE IT."
406
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,063
AND I LIKE,
"HAVE IT?
407
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,732
THIS IS 20."
408
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,777
LIKE, I DON'T PUT THE HOPE
DIAMOND TO THE COUNTER,
409
00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,236
AND GO,
"IMAGE IT, STUPID."
410
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,697
LIKE, IT WAS REASONABLE, TRUE?
411
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,282
AND HE'S ONLY
ALL LEADERS.
412
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:57,201
LIKE, MM.
413
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,454
AND I GO, "NOTHING?
YOU DO NOT HAVE A SOLUTION? "
414
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:00,956
AND HE GOES,
" ARE YOU STILL A COFFEE VISIT? "
415
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:02,248
I LIKE," YEAH.
THAT PART NEVER CHANGES.
416
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:05,752
WHY DO I HERE. "
417
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:09,172
AKU PERGI, "ANDA TIDAK BISA
KATAKAN SEMUA INI? "
418
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:11,341
AND HE GOES, "YOU CAN ASK YOU
SOME OTHERS FOR CHANGE."
419
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:15,804
AND I GO,
"OTHER CUSTOMERS IN LINE?"
420
00:18:15,804 --> 00:18:16,972
AND HE GOES, "YEAH."
421
00:18:16,972 --> 00:18:18,682
AND I GO,
"WHAT ABOUT THE BOX
422
00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:21,059
WITH THE BUTTON IN YOUR FRONT?"
423
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,895
AND HE GOES...
424
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,396
YOU'RE TURNING AROUND
FOR PEOPLE,
425
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:27,315
AND I GO,
"PERMISSION,
426
00:18:27,315 --> 00:18:29,734
" DO YOU EVERYTHING
HAVE A CHANGE? "
427
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,195
AND EVERYTHING LIKE,
" YOU HAVE ASSHOLE. "
428
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,614
" LIKE, YOU WILL BE IN
A PLACE TO GET A CHANGE.
429
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:37,034
YOU ARE RIGHT THERE. "
430
00:18:37,034 --> 00:18:39,327
GOOD, THEN THIS IS ARABIC
GUY - AND I DON'T SAY
431
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:40,662
THAT MEANS ANYTHING -
BUT HE,
432
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:45,375
JADI MENGAPA MENINGGALKAN ITU
KELUAR DARI CERITA?
433
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,086
HE WAS GOING,
"I HAVE EVERYTHING."
434
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,755
AND I LIKE, "OH."
435
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,841
AND THEN HE OPENED THE LICENSE
436
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:56,094
AND HER EVERY DENOMINATION
FROM EVERY CURRENT
437
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:57,762
LIKE, WHERE CAN I GO,
"I WANT ONE OF THEM,
438
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,015
AND I WANT ONE THEY,
AND I WANT ONE - "
439
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:05,436
HE'S LIKE,
" YES YES.
440
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,605
NOW, ENJOY YOUR PUSY DRINK. "
441
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:11,234
GOOD.
GO.
442
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,402
AND I WANT TO KNOW
SOMETHING.
443
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:13,778
I DRANK THAT THE PUSSY BEVERAGE,
444
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:14,946
AND THAT'S THE BEST SHIT > CALLED, SO TAKE YOUR CHANCES.
445
00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:17,991
BUT IT WILL BE COOL IF YOU WANT
FOR TOMORROW STARBUCKS,
446
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,077
PUSSY MINUMAN SELAMANYA.
447
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:22,370
AKU TIDAK PASTIKAN BAHWA APA ITU MEREKA
DIPANGGIL, SO TAKE YOUR CHANCES.
448
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:26,249
TAPI ITU AKAN COOL JIKA ANDA INGIN
UNTUK TOMORROW STARBUCKS,
449
00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:28,710
AND YOU LIKE, UH,
"CAN I GET A PUSY BEVERAGE?"
450
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,461
AND THEY LIKE,
"I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
451
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:34,298
WAITING FOR EVERYTHING. "
452
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:40,304
WE CAN ONLY AGREE TO ONE
THI - WE CAN ONLY
453
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,306
FUCKING GET ONBOARD
WITH FACT
454
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:46,686
THAT IS THE TIME TO SEE
END TO MAN
455
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:50,148
WHO WALK IN PUBLIC
WITH COWBOY HAT ON,
456
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:53,777
LIKE HE DOESN'T BECOME
HOB PUBLIC COWBOY?
457
00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:55,570
I SEE THEM EVERYWHERE.
458
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:59,074
BANKS, GROCERY STORES, AIRPORTS.
459
00:19:59,074 --> 00:20:01,868
AND NOW, DO NOT JUST DO I SEE GUYS < br /> BECOME A COWBOY HATS,
460
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,829
BUT THEY HAVE ADOPTED
PERSONAL COWBOY.
461
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,791
LIKE WHERE THEY THINK THEY
ACTUAL FUCKING - LIKE -
462
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:10,919
[snickers]
463
00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:13,046
GOOD, PARDON ME, MA & apos; AM.
464
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,548
I'M GOING TO SAY YOU WHAT.
465
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,093
I WOULD SAY YOU WHAT.
466
00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:19,510
I WILL TELL YOU WHAT.
467
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:22,055
YOU ARE LOOKING FOR FUCKING RIDICULOUS
NOW ALSO.
468
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:23,890
LIKE, YOU COWBOY, REALLY?
469
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,934
COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO.
470
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:27,769
A-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG -BANG-BANG.
471
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:30,772
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
472
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,523
HERE I WANT FROM COWBOYS.
473
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,776
ONLY COWBOY IS ALL HOW TO,
GOOD ?
474
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,319
WORKING WITH LIVESTOCK.
475
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:38,155
LIKE, IF SOMEBODY SAYS,
"LET & AP; S GO GET A BEER."
476
00:20:38,155 --> 00:20:41,699
I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY,
"I HAVE TO HAVE SOME SHEEP."
477
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:43,618
END OF YOUR SITE
WITH PISTOL.
478
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,244
IF SOMEBODY CUTS YOU OFF
IN LINE, LIKE,
479
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,999
"BUT I AM IN SALOON IN NOON.
480
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:51,042
I AM A COWBOY."
481
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:53,628
AND YOU ARE BETTER RIDE
HORSE WHERE EVERYWHERE.
482
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,880
IF YOU SHOW HOLD COWBOY,
YOU MUST NOT BE ALLOWED
483
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,924
FOR A CAR SIT IN
OR LOOK AT PLANES.
484
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:01,011
YOU MUST LIKE,
"I'M GOING TO SAY YOU WHAT.
485
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:03,888
" I'M GOING TO SAY YOU WHAT.
486
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,808
SAN FRANCISCO MAKE SURE
IS A PRETTY CITY. "
487
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,935
YEAH, I SEE YOU THERE ARE
IN SIX MONTHS,
488
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:13,857
WHEN YOU GET THERE
AT YOUR FUCKING HOLY.
489
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:16,442
IF YOU ARE COWBOY,
THEN I'M TRUE.
490
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:19,863
I KNOW, AND I GONNA WEAR
ARMOR EVERY DAY,
491
00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:22,365
IN SOMEONE'S CASE
WANT TO BE TOGETHER .
492
00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:23,908
AND YOU LEAVE MYSELF,
493
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:25,576
BECAUSE I DO IT
QUEEN WORK.
494
00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,578
OK, MUMMY?
495
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:29,330
YOU KNOW WHO LIKES TO BE COWBOYS
MORE THAN ANYTHING?
496
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,999
APAKAH ANDA TAHU SIAPA?
TIGA TAHUN.
497
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:34,252
BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT
DEVELOPED YET.
498
00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:36,546
AND THEY GO, "MOMMY."
[imitating weapons]
499
00:21:36,546 --> 00:21:38,297
AND YOU GO, "YES,
YOU COWBOY.
500
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,674
"AND YOUR SUSTER IS THE PRINCIPLE.
501
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:42,219
" AND YOUR FATHER
FUCKING BATMAN.
502
00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:43,678
"& apos; CAUSE YOU'RE LIVING IN LA-LA LAND.
503
00:21:43,678 --> 00:21:45,513
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT WILL COME NOW. "
504
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:48,099
COWBOY HATS MUST
COME WITH HOME.
505
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:50,018
& apos; CAUSE I FEEL LIKE THE SAME
IT IS BUYING ONE
506
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:52,562
BUY OTHER ANYWAY,
YOU KNOW?
507
00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:56,607
[laughter and applause]
508
00:21:58,068 --> 00:21:59,360
"TRY CHECK.
509
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,988
" & apos; 87.
510
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:04,866
I DESTROY 14 TOUCHDOWNS
THE YEAR. "
511
00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:06,284
" WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW? "
512
00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:07,368
" I'M JUST THINKING & APPS; ABOUT
KILLING MYSELF . "
514
00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:15,085
WHY DO YOU NOT GET CORVETTE
AND MAKE IT ALL KIT?
515
00:22:15,085 --> 00:22:17,170
MM.
516
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,797
[sighs]
I AM ONLY MY REALIZATION FUCKING -
517
00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:20,965
p>
518
00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:22,050
I HAVE A HOBBY.
519
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:24,261
IT & apos; S PROBABLY SADDEST,
520
00:22:24,261 --> 00:22:28,139
THE MOST PATHETIC HOBBY IS THERE.
521
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:30,225
AND IT'S JUST WATCHING
TELEVISION SHOWS.
522
00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:34,520
WHAT IS LAMER FROM, LIKE,
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO BE HAPPY?
523
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,564
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY?"
"OH, FUCKING, I watching TV. "
524
00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:38,900
IT'S SO INDICATIVE
FROM OUR COUNTRY
525
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:40,193
AND, LIKE, SOME PEOPLE
AMAZING WITH THEM, LIKE -
526
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:41,485
"OH, I B - I BUY FURNITURE."
527
00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:42,737
YOU LIKE,
"Is your JOB?"
528
00:22:42,737 --> 00:22:44,572
"NO NO.
I am a UROLOGIST. "
529
00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:49,994
OH, I like it - I like
TO WATCH MY SHOWS.
530
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:52,163
I DON'T LIKE HOW TO PEOPLE
THOUGH KNOCK TV.
531
00:22:52,163 --> 00:22:54,332
IT'S ALL ALL < br>> THE SAME CLICHE SHIT
532
00:22:54,332 --> 00:22:55,458
THEY SAID WHEN WE ARE CHILDREN,
533
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:56,876
THEY NOW SAY AS BOARD, TRUE?
534
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,169
THEY LIKE, OH, YOU KNOW ,
535
00:22:58,169 --> 00:22:59,837
YOU - YOU KNOW,
YOU WATCH MORE TV,
536
00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:02,132
IT'S YOUR THOUGHT,
OR, YOU CANNOT LEARN
537
00:23:02,132 --> 00:23:03,091
ANYTHING OF TELEVISION.
538
00:23:03,091 --> 00:23:04,342
BUT IT IS NOT TRUE.
539
00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:05,593
YOU CAN LEARN MUCH
FROM TELEVISION.
540
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,220
EXAMPLES,
WITHOUT TELEVISION,
541
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,805
I HAVE NO IDEA
542
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:13,601
THAT PREVENT FAILURE
IS OUT OF FUCKING MIND.
543
00:23:14,518 --> 00:23:15,519
OR ALIVE.
544
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,480
I ALSO DO NOT KNOW THAT.
545
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,440
HE HAS A SHOW.
546
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,775
Ini bukan sebuah SHOW SCRIPTED.
547
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:24,070
IT FOLLOWS AROUND
THE REAL STEVEN FAILED.
548
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:27,240
AND EVERY EPISODE BEGINS
WITH HIM LOOKING FOR CAMERA
549
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,284
AND SAYING, "I DON'T KNOW
/> IF YOU KNOW THIS OR NOT,
550
00:23:29,284 --> 00:23:32,829
BUT FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS,
I'VE BEEN A COP. "
551
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:37,500
AND YOU LIKE,
" WHAT YOU'RE NEW SAYING?
552
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,252
"MY THOUGHTS YOU'VE MAKE
SHITTY MOVIES
553
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:40,211
" FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS.
554
00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:41,921
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING? "
555
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:45,175
AND YOU SHOW THIS SHOW, HE HAS THE MOST EXCELLENT QUALITY
556
00:23:45,175 --> 00:23:47,969
WHERE HUMAN,
WHO IS THAT IS THE EXPERT
557
00:23:47,969 --> 00:23:49,512
IN EVERYTHING.
558
00:23:49,512 --> 00:23:51,973
REALLY, IF THE DOG WALKS BY,
559
00:23:51,973 --> 00:23:54,976
HE'S LIKE, "IT IS A SHIH TZU,
BOXER, HOUND MIX RIGHT IS THERE."
560
00:23:54,976 --> 00:23:57,270
AND THEY LIKE,
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?"
561
00:23:57,270 --> 00:24:01,691
HE'S LIKE, "I HAVE WORKED
WITH DOGS FOR, LIKE 35 YEARS."
562
00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:03,276
THEN, THE HELICOPTER STAR BY.
563
00:24:03,276 --> 00:24:05,195
HE LIKE,
"That's HUB-106."
564
00:24:05,195 --> 00:24:07,113
AND THEY LIKE,
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?"
565
00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:09,073
AND HE LIKE,
"I HAVE A FLYING HELICOPTER
566
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:12,160
FOR, LIKE, 47 YEARS. "
567
00:24:14,537 --> 00:24:16,789
THEN THAT IS INTENDED,
THAT EVERYONE DOES NOT
568
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,791
WHO KNOWS SOMETHING
ABOUT EVERYTHING .
569
00:24:18,791 --> 00:24:21,336
EVERYONE HAS A FRIEND,
THERE IS NO PROBLEM WHAT YOU DO,
570
00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:23,380
THEY KNOW HISTORY WAS ALL,
THEY KNOW EVERY TOPIC,
571
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:24,547
EVERY FUCKING FACT.
572
00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:26,216
IF YOU EAT NIGHT EAT,
573
00:24:26,216 --> 00:24:28,343
THEY LIKE, "YOU KNOW,
FORKS ARE FROM ROME,
574
00:24:28,343 --> 00:24:30,345
AND THEY WILL START THEM
OUT OF BARK. "
575
00:24:30,345 --> 00:24:31,929
AND YOU LIKE,
"DO YOU CLOSE UP FUCK,
576
00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:34,057
AND LET ME FINISH THIS PLEASE?"
577
00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:36,517
AS WELL AS TO DO THAT, TOO,
BUT YOU KNOW HE MAKES IT UP.
578
00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:39,062
HE WILL LIKE, "YOU KNOW,
THEY ALSO CALL THAT HELICOPTER
579
00:24:39,062 --> 00:24:40,355
SKIPPY."
580
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:41,939
AND THEY LIKE, "WHY?"
581
00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:43,524
AND HE GOES,
"LISTENING THAT."
582
00:24:43,524 --> 00:24:45,568
SKIP-SKIP-SKIP-SKIP-SKIP--
IT WAS EMPTY.
583
00:24:45,568 --> 00:24:47,820
YOU MAKE THAT SHIT UP.
584
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,447
"NAH, SERIOUS."
585
00:24:49,447 --> 00:24:54,744
IT'S MY THOUGHT BLOWS - IT'S REALLY
WHAT - THAT EVERYONE
586
00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:59,665
IN THIS ROOM - EVERYONE - HAS
THE POSSIBILITY OF REAL WORLD
587
00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:02,752
IN THEIR LIFE - ALL AS,
WE CAN GO TONIGHT,
588
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:06,964
IF WE WANT - TONIGHT,
YOU CAN GO TO LOUISIANA,
589
00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:08,966
YOU CAN START
A FIGHT IN A BAR,
590
00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:13,596
AND THERE'S
POSSIBLE REAL WORLD
591
00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:18,309
THAT PREVENT FAILURE
592
00:25:18,309 --> 00:25:21,062
WILL LOVE YOU.
593
00:25:21,062 --> 00:25:24,774
Isn't that important to you?
594
00:25:24,774 --> 00:25:26,317
I LOST SLEEP
OVER SHIT THIS.
595
00:25:26,317 --> 00:25:28,819
I MEAN, IT'S CRAZY. >
596
00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:31,030
IT WAS LIKE AS
IF YOU STAY HERE,
597
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:32,907
AND YOU ROLL THROUGH
SIGN STOP,
598
00:25:32,907 --> 00:25:36,244
AND THEN, STREONE SYLVESTER
> LIKE, "HEY, ROLL IT DOWN."
599
00:25:36,244 --> 00:25:39,456
"AND YOU LIKE,
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
600
00:25:39,456 --> 00:25:41,582
YOU WORK HERE?"
601
00:25:41,582 --> 00:25:44,752
AND HE LIKE,
"IT'S MY PASSION."
602
00:25:44,752 --> 00:25:47,130
"WILL SAY ADRIAN
OR SOMETHING?"
603
00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:50,049
"NAH."
604
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:51,092
p>
605
00:25:51,092 --> 00:25:52,593
IT IS NUTS.
606
00:25:52,593 --> 00:25:54,929
YOU MUST WATCH THIS SHOW.
607
00:25:54,929 --> 00:25:56,847
KNOWING FULL WELL
THERE IS A CREW CAMERA
608
00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:57,890
NEXT ONCE.
609
00:25:57,890 --> 00:25:59,600
HE DOES NOT GIVE YOU A SHIT.
610
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:00,726
IF YOU ARE WHITE, HE'S LIKE, < br> "HOW DOES THE PHARMACEUTICAL?
611
00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:05,189
WELL."
[snickers]
612
00:26:05,189 --> 00:26:07,900
AND THEN, TO BLACK PEOPLE,
HE'S LIKE, "WHAT IS, CUZ ? "
613
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,736
AND THEY LIKE,
" HAI WHAT IS THE NEWS? "
614
00:26:10,736 --> 00:26:14,782
" I HOLD YOU DOWN, SO HOLLER
IF YOU NEED SOMETHIN. "
615
00:26:14,782 --> 00:26:17,785
"GOOD."
616
00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:19,329
THEN,
FOR ALL LATINOS -
617
00:26:19,329 --> 00:26:21,622
SPANISH SPEAKS PEOPLE -
HE INSISTS SPEAKS
618
00:26:21,622 --> 00:26:23,124
HORRIFICALLY SPAIN BROKEN,
619
00:26:23,124 --> 00:26:25,376
EVEN IF THEY START UP
CONVERSATIONS IN ENGLISH.
620
00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:26,377
IF THEY LIKE,
621
00:26:26,377 --> 00:26:27,420
"HEY, YEAH , I CALL 911.
622
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:28,754
TERIMA KASIH SUDAH DATANG."
623
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:32,425
THE PROBLEM IS--
HE'S LIKE, "AH, HOLD ON.
624
00:26:32,425 --> 00:26:37,263
MUCHO QUESO."
625
00:26:37,263 --> 00:26:38,639
THEY LIKE,
"I THINK ENGLISH
626
00:26:38,639 --> 00:26:40,099
HOW IS BETTER
FROM YOU SPANISH, MAN."
627
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:45,104
AND HE LIKE,
"NO GRACIAS. "
628
00:26:45,104 --> 00:26:47,357
AND THEN, TO ALL ASIANS,
HE BOWS,
629
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:49,359
WITHOUT WHERE
HE MEETS THEM.
630
00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:53,196
IF YOU ARE ASIAN, AND YOU SEE
PROTECT PATH AS FAILED,
631
00:26:53,196 --> 00:26:55,072
HE'S LIKE, "HA."
632
00:26:55,072 --> 00:26:56,949
AND THEY GO, "HEY, I'M BORN
IN HERE, YOU DICK.
633
00:26:56,949 --> 00:26:57,992
LIKE, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO DO IT. "
634
00:26:57,992 --> 00:26:59,618
AND HE LIKE," SORRY.
635
00:26:59,618 --> 00:27:04,790
I DO MARTIAL ARTS < br /> FOR, LIKE, 85 YEARS. "
636
00:27:06,501 --> 00:27:10,254
He trained others
IN HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT.
637
00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,256
I THINK THAT INFURIATING.
638
00:27:12,256 --> 00:27:13,591
FOR THEY.
639
00:27:13,591 --> 00:27:15,259
Not from TripAdvisor LLC
WE STOP,
640
00:27:15,259 --> 00:27:16,760
WE LIKE, "HEY, MAN,
DO YOU WANT TO DO, LIKE ,
641
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,721
"A COUPLE SHOTS,
AND THEN GO TO THE ROAD?
642
00:27:18,721 --> 00:27:21,516
PREVENT AS FAST IS A TEACHER
HOW TO DO PUNCHES. "
643
00:27:21,516 --> 00:27:23,684
AND WE LIKE," okay.
LET & apos; S FUCKING GO. "
644
00:27:23,684 --> 00:27:25,853
NO.
IT & Sos; S YOU ARE COP,
AND YOU SHOW THE WORK,
645
00:27:25,853 --> 00:27:27,688
AND THEY LIKE,
" WE GONNA GO OVER
646
00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:30,191
"HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT TODAY,
SO YOU CAN PROTECT YOURSELF
647
00:27:30,191 --> 00:27:31,650
IF YOU ARE REALLY TRUE
HAZARDOUS SITUATIONS."
648
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:32,985
YOU LIKE,
"OH COOL.
649
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:34,445
" WHO ARE YOU BRINGING IN
TO TEACH US?
650
00:27:34,445 --> 00:27:36,489
LIKE, SOME NAVY SEALS,
OR DANGEROUS GREEN? "
651
00:27:36,489 --> 00:27:37,948
AND THEY GO, "NO.
652
00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:41,202
WE THINK IN PREVENTING FAILED."
653
00:27:41,202 --> 00:27:42,870
AND YOU LIKE, "DO WE
LOVE FUCKING FILM
654
00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,247
THIS WEEK OR SOMETHING? "
655
00:27:44,247 --> 00:27:45,873
THEY LIKE, UH-UH. "
656
00:27:45,873 --> 00:27:47,250
" Okay, I'll be back, & apos; CAUSE
IT'S RIDICULOUS.
657
00:27:47,250 --> 00:27:49,252
I DO NOT WANT TO BE
PART OF IT. "
658
00:27:49,252 --> 00:27:51,212
IT WAS LIKE AS
IF YOU WANT, LIKE, AT NASA,
659
00:27:51,212 --> 00:27:52,796
AND THEY LIKE," ALL RIGHT,
ASTRONAUTS FUTURE.
660
00:27:52,796 --> 00:27:54,924
"WE GONNA GO OVER
SPACE SPACE EXPLORATION,
661
00:27:54,924 --> 00:27:58,344
" AND GETTING STARTED, WHY
DO YOU WELCOME TO CAPTAIN?
662
00:27:58,344 --> 00:28:00,888
COME ON OUT, MAN. "
663
00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:02,723
AND YOU LIKE,
" HE'S QUALIFYING TO DO IT? "
664
00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:04,392
AND THEY LIKE," OH, YOU
SHOULD DO ALL THAT SHIT.
665
00:28:04,392 --> 00:28:05,726
"YEAH, HE KNOWS
WHAT WAS STARTING ABOUT, MAN.
666
00:28:05,726 --> 00:28:08,479
He was already there."
667
00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:11,107
THEY SHOW PEOPLE TEACHING IT
THE FOLLOWING WAY.
668
00:28:11,107 --> 00:28:13,109
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
HE LOOKS NOW.
669
00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:14,860
HE DOES NOT HAVE
THE SAME RANGE.
670
00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:18,155
HE'S LIKE,
"EVERYONE IS DEAD."
671
00:28:19,990 --> 00:28:22,660
IF SOMEBO--
IF SOMEBODY THROUGH PUNCH,
672
00:28:22,660 --> 00:28:27,248
YOU CAN--
YOU CAN MAKE IT LIKE THAT.
673
00:28:27,248 --> 00:28:30,084
[exhale]
674
00:28:30,084 --> 00:28:32,253
AND THEN - AND THEN,
675
00:28:32,253 --> 00:28:36,090
YOU CAN KICK & EM; EM
IN THROAT LIKE IT.
676
00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:39,385
ARE YOU BINDING CHILDREN?
IN THROAT RIGHT NOW?
677
00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:42,888
SOME THROATS OF PEOPLE
COME THERE.
678
00:28:42,888 --> 00:28:44,599
I like the MOST HAVARTI CHEESE
.
679
00:28:44,599 --> 00:28:47,726
WHAT IS YOUR SUCCESS?
680
00:28:51,481 --> 00:28:55,943
UM, I AM SORRY THAT IAT FAT.
681
00:28:55,943 --> 00:28:59,071
I JUST DECLARE HOW FAT
I HOW TO FOLLOW I HAVE TO
682
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:03,284
FROM JUST DOING
THEY ARE LITTLE MOVEMENT.
683
00:29:03,284 --> 00:29:06,537
[groans]
684
00:29:06,537 --> 00:29:08,747
JESUS
THAT IS CONTENT.
685
00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,082
MY SOMETIMES ONLY SEE
IN MIRROR,
686
00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:13,419
AND I LIKE, "FUCK."
687
00:29:13,419 --> 00:29:16,130
I WISH TO BE YOURSELF ALL TIME.
I'M CHEAT.
688
00:29:16,130 --> 00:29:19,800
LIKE, I LOOK AT THE MIRROR,
AND I LIKE, "HMM.
689
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,929
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT
YOU ARE LOOKING LIKE. "
690
00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:25,097
IT IS ALL THIS LITTLE THING
THAT YOU DO NOT THINK ABOUT
691
00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:26,599
AND YOU JUST DO IT AUTOMATICALLY -
692
00:29:26,599 --> 00:29:28,267
HERE I REALLY HAVE
TO CALL YOURSELF.
693
00:29:28,267 --> 00:29:30,894
I GET
BECOME A SHOWER IN THE HOTEL,
694
00:29:30,894 --> 00:29:32,896
AND THAT IS THE
> ONE OF THIS BATHROOM
695
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:34,440
MANA ADA HANYA
CERMIN di mana-mana.
696
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,151
AND AS I STEP
IN BATHROOM,
697
00:29:37,151 --> 00:29:39,362
I AM LOOKING FOR, AND I LIKE,
"YES GOD."
698
00:29:39,362 --> 00:29:44,074
LIKE, " LOOK AT YOU.
699
00:29:44,074 --> 00:29:45,743
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IN SOMEONE
LETS YOU FUCK THEM.
700
00:29:45,743 --> 00:29:47,620
THIS IS CRAZY."
701
00:29:50,581 --> 00:29:52,667
I LIKE IT LIKE IT
702
00:29:52,667 --> 00:29:55,461
> WHEN I EAT MY INSTITUTION.
703
00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:57,046
I FEEL LIKE
IT'S GOOD BAD FOR MY DAY.
704
00:29:57,046 --> 00:30:00,090
YOU KNOW, I'M EATING,
AND THEN I GO -
705
00:30:02,593 --> 00:30:04,803
[staggering deeply]
706
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:06,972
BETTER SOME MOMENTS THEN,
WHEN YOU GET THINK ABOUT IT,
707
00:30:06,972 --> 00:30:09,392
AND YOU LIKE,
"WHY DO I JUST STOP?"
708
00:30:09,392 --> 00:30:10,601
TO TAKE BREATH DEEP.
709
00:30:10,601 --> 00:30:14,313
OH YES.
710
00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:16,399
MY BODY ALSO NEEDS WATER,
711
00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:22,154
YOU FAT FUCKING TURD.
712
00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:23,406
MAY NOT BE A FATTEST THING.
713
00:30:23,406 --> 00:30:24,823
I THINK FATTEST THING
YOU CAN DO
714
00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:29,370
EAT EATING
OTHER PEOPLE, TRUE?
715
00:30:29,370 --> 00:30:32,331
LIKE, IF YOU EAT
AND YOU SEE OTHER GUAT FAT,
716
00:30:32,331 --> 00:30:35,793
AND YOU LIKE,
THAT GUY LOOKS DELICIOUS,
717
00:30:35,793 --> 00:30:38,045
YOU ARE SUPER FAT .
718
00:30:38,045 --> 00:30:39,672
I DON'T DO IT.
719
00:30:39,672 --> 00:30:41,549
I, BUT, GO TO EAT.
720
00:30:41,549 --> 00:30:43,676
I GO FOR BREAKFAST.
I HAVE A CROISSANT.
721
00:30:43,676 --> 00:30:44,885
EVERYONE KNOWS
What is meant by CROISSANT?
722
00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:47,846
IT IS A FLAKY-LOOKING THING.
723
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,932
I am one,
AND ONE ENOUGH.
724
00:30:49,932 --> 00:30:51,726
AND THEN LEFT THIS PLACE,
725
00:30:51,726 --> 00:30:53,936
AND I WALK
THE ROAD.
726
00:30:53,936 --> 00:30:57,774
AND I SAW A BAKERY,
AND I LIKE,
727
00:30:57,774 --> 00:31:02,737
"I WANT WHAT THEY ARE SMALL
IT WAS LIKE."
728
00:31:02,737 --> 00:31:05,864
SO I HAVE A SECOND PLACE
729
00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:09,326
TO RENT A BREAD
TO MY FORM, FAT MOUTH.
730
00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:12,288
AND A GREAT PAYOFF
DO I WAS DONE,
731
00:31:12,288 --> 00:31:13,790
I HAD TO GO, "OH, NO.
732
00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:16,917
"THE FIRST POSITION
HAS A BETTER CROISSANT.
733
00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:18,544
YES."
734
00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:26,594
I have a CATARTROPHIK DIARE
THIS MORNING.
735
00:31:27,511 --> 00:31:29,639
AND I'M JUST FOUND
736
00:31:29,639 --> 00:31:32,516
THAT IS NOT EVERYONE.
737
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:34,602
HERE HOW WAS I FOUND.
738
00:31:34,602 --> 00:31:37,730
WE MOVED - I AM NATURE AND I < br>> MOVED TO A NEW PLACE.
739
00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:40,608
IN A NEW PLACE,
LIVING ROOM
740
00:31:40,608 --> 00:31:44,445
VERY PLEASANT THAT THE BATHROOM
IS IN THE OLD PLACE.
741
00:31:44,445 --> 00:31:47,990
SO THERE'S THE SECOND DAY,
I GO THERE, I DO MY THINGS.
742
00:31:47,990 --> 00:31:52,411
WHEN I WALK OUT, MY CONTENTS
THERE IS NO OLD SITTING IN COUCH.
743
00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:55,205
I'M NOW STANDING,
HOLDING CAR KEYS.
744
00:31:55,205 --> 00:31:58,542
AND HE GOES, "DO YOU NEED
GO TO HOSPITALS?"
745
00:32:02,588 --> 00:32:04,047
AND I GO, "FOR WHAT?"
746
00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:07,760
AND HE GOES, "FOR WHAT
JUST HAPPENS HERE. "
747
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,512
AND I GO,
" WHAT HAPPENED THERE? "
748
00:32:09,512 --> 00:32:13,724
AND HE GOES,
" Is that NORMAL FOR YOU? "
749
00:32:13,724 --> 00:32:15,434
AND I LIKE," I DON'T EVEN
REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED,
750
00:32:15,434 --> 00:32:17,728
SO I GUESS SO. "
751
00:32:17,728 --> 00:32:21,064
HE GOES, "JESUS, HOW DOES IT
DO YOU LOVE IT LIKE IT?"
752
00:32:21,064 --> 00:32:23,818
AND I LIKE, "EVERY DAY."
753
00:32:23,818 --> 00:32:27,613
HE GOES, "OH, GOD MY.
THERE'S BLOOD THERE? "
754
00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:29,323
THERE CAN BE.
I don't know
755
00:32:29,323 --> 00:32:33,160
I JUST GO, BAP!
AND I CONTACT FLUSH .
756
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:34,578
AND HE GOES,
"YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR IT?"
757
00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:35,996
AND I GO, "WHERE AM I
CAN SEEK?
758
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:37,498
"ANYWHERE.
759
00:32:37,498 --> 00:32:39,082
" YOU WANT ME TO SEE
EVERYONE IS INDIVIDUAL?
760
00:32:39,082 --> 00:32:42,795
NO, I LOOK AT THE BOWL,
AND THEN I LOVED IT AWAY. "
761
00:32:46,841 --> 00:32:50,260
IT'S HOW I WAS FOUND,
IN 34 OLD YEARS,
762
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:54,181
THAT EVERYONE IS
HAS DIARRED EVERYDAY.
763
00:32:57,810 --> 00:33:02,648
I FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, GIVE YOU
MUST GET ONE LAST JAB TOO,
764
00:33:02,648 --> 00:33:05,401
& apos; CAUSE THE FIRST OF ALL,
THIS IS NOT EVEN ARGUMENT.
765
00:33:05,401 --> 00:33:06,610
THIS IS CONVERSATION.
766
00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:09,405
AND HE WON
CONVERSATION, okay?
767
00:33:09,405 --> 00:33:10,698
HE DOS IT.
768
00:33:10,698 --> 00:33:12,825
I FEEL HORRIBLE
ABOUT MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
769
00:33:12,825 --> 00:33:15,369
YOU WIN.
IT'S SETTLED.
770
00:33:15,369 --> 00:33:16,453
I'M SITTING ON--
I WRITE, LIKE...
771
00:33:16,453 --> 00:33:17,914
[sighs] < br /> IN SOFA.
772
00:33:17,914 --> 00:33:19,707
HE MUST LEAVE TODAY,
RIGHT?
773
00:33:19,707 --> 00:33:21,959
AND HE KNOWS AT THE DOOR
AS HE LEAVE HOME,
774
00:33:21,959 --> 00:33:26,797
AND HE GOES, "YOU KNOW,
YOU MAY GONNA DIE."
775
00:33:26,797 --> 00:33:28,257
AND I LIKE, "COOL, BABE.
HAVE YOUR FUN DAY.
776
00:33:28,257 --> 00:33:32,386
I WILL MEET YOU
WHEN YOU GET HOME."
777
00:33:32,386 --> 00:33:33,763
THE STORY I START THINKING
ABOUT IT,
778
00:33:33,763 --> 00:33:35,973
AND I LIKE,
"MAY I GONNA DIE."
779
00:33:35,973 --> 00:33:39,017
I GO DOCTOR THAT DAY,
780
00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:40,937
AND I & apos; M - I & apos; M GONNA BE
REALLY HONEST WITH YOU.
781
00:33:40,937 --> 00:33:43,355
I GO TO THE DOCTOR,
AND I LIKE, "ALL RIGHT.
782
00:33:43,355 --> 00:33:46,442
I'M JUST GONNA GETS CHECK,
SEE WHAT WILL GO. "
783
00:33:46,442 --> 00:33:48,277
HONEST TRUTH IS I KNOW
784
00:33:48,277 --> 00:33:50,529
IT'S NOT GONNA
BE AWESOME, OK?
785
00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:52,823
I KNOW THE DOCTOR
IS NOT GONNA LIKE,
786
00:33:52,823 --> 00:33:55,993
"YOU MAY HAPPEN
HEAR THIS, BUT YOU ARE PERFECT.
787
00:33:55,993 --> 00:34:00,831
LIKE, YOU ARE PERFECT
PHYSICAL SPECIMEN, MAN. "
788
00:34:00,831 --> 00:34:02,875
I KNOW
THAT GONNA DON'T HAPPEN,
789
00:34:02,875 --> 00:34:04,710
BUT I DON'T EXPECT IT
TO BE A DICK.
790
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:06,295
USUYA, THEY DON'T .
791
00:34:06,295 --> 00:34:08,505
I FEEL LIKE IN MY EXPERIENCE,
DOCTORS ARE POLITICS.
792
00:34:08,505 --> 00:34:09,757
ALMOST OVERLY POLITE,
793
00:34:09,757 --> 00:34:11,968
WHERE IT'S FONI
AND CONDUCTCENDING.
794
00:34:11,968 --> 00:34:13,385
WHEN THEY GO,
795
00:34:13,385 --> 00:34:16,096
"AH, THE STORY IS REALLY ATTRACTING
YOU GET THERE. "
796
00:34:16,096 --> 00:34:18,432
DOCTORS DO THAT BECAUSE
YOU SAY THEIR STORIES,
797
00:34:18,432 --> 00:34:20,017
AND THE DOCTOR DOES NOT WANT
TO HEAR STORIES.
798
00:34:20,017 --> 00:34:22,269
DOCTORS WANT TO LISTEN
"THIS IS ASSURING,"
799
00:34:22,269 --> 00:34:24,187
NO "I AM AT YOUR FRIENDS
CHARLIE HOUSE,
800
00:34:24,187 --> 00:34:26,732
" AND WE HAVE TO MOVE
OTTOMAN, AND -
801
00:34:26,732 --> 00:34:28,025
"I MEAN, YOU CAN USE IT
AS A COFFEE TUBE,
802
00:34:28,025 --> 00:34:29,443
"OR YOU CAN USE IT
AS AUTTOMAN.
803
00:34:29,443 --> 00:34:31,069
YOU'RE PARTY,"
AND YOUR DOCTOR LIKE,
804
00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:34,072
"I WANT TO BLOW MY FUCKING
BRAIN NOW NOW. "
805
00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:37,618
I go there,
I SIT ON THE EXAM TABLE,
806
00:34:37,618 --> 00:34:40,454
WHICH IS MY FAVORITE WRITING
FOR SIT ON IN THE WORLD
807
00:34:40,454 --> 00:34:42,999
& apos; BUT THAT IS ONLY TABLE THAT,
IN 30 YEARS,
808
00:34:42,999 --> 00:34:46,335
I'M ONE WHERE MY FEET
DO NOT TOUCH THE LAND.
809
00:34:46,335 --> 00:34:51,089
LIKE I FEEL LIKE FUCKING
TODDLER, WAITING LIKE -
810
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:53,968
[giggles]
811
00:34:53,968 --> 00:34:57,429
MY DOCTOR COMES IN.
HE DOES NOT SAY HELLO.
812
00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:59,932
HE DOESN'T SAY GOOD MORNING.
HE WAS JUST running on.
813
00:34:59,932 --> 00:35:03,185
HE'S POINT IN ME, WHAT IS
SUPER AGGRESSIVE, YOU KNOW,
814
00:35:03,185 --> 00:35:05,103
TO START CONVERSION
WITH SOMEONE.
815
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,271
SEPERTI, "HEY, MAN."
ANDA SEPERTI, "HEY.
816
00:35:06,271 --> 00:35:07,940
WHAT IS THERE? "
817
00:35:07,940 --> 00:35:10,860
AND HE GOES," DO YOU WANT
SOMETHING FOR YOUR HAIR? "
818
00:35:10,860 --> 00:35:13,612
AND I GO," WHAT? "
819
00:35:15,364 --> 00:35:19,451
AND HE GOES," DO YOU WANT
SOMETHING FOR YOUR HAIR? "
820
00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:22,955
AND I GO,
" I DON'T GET IT. "
821
00:35:22,955 --> 00:35:24,456
AND HE GOES,
" SHOULD NOT TELL YOU
822
00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:26,583
WHAT IS YOUR HAIR HAIR? "
823
00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:31,755
I LIKE,
" DAMN NO. "
824
00:35:31,755 --> 00:35:35,133
AND HE GOES,
" Ah, sorry. "
825
00:35:36,259 --> 00:35:38,178
I LIKE , "ALL RIGHT."
826
00:35:38,178 --> 00:35:41,181
THEN HE PULLS MY CHART
OUT OF SLOTS, SUPER DRAMATICS,
827
00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:42,349
SO THAT MAKES
WALKING NOISE
828
00:35:42,349 --> 00:35:43,433
HE WAS--
[exhaled]
829
00:35:43,433 --> 00:35:44,935
I LIKE--
AND HE GOES,
830
00:35:44,935 --> 00:35:49,023
"WOW!"
AND I LIKE, "TRUE, & apos; WOW & apos;?
831
00:35:49,023 --> 00:35:49,940
IS IT FULL-BLOWN AIDS? "
832
00:35:49,940 --> 00:35:53,485
LIKE, "WHY & WHERE; WOW & apos;?"
833
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:55,153
AND HE GOES,
"YOU LOVE 245."
834
00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:58,198
AND I GO LIKE, "YEAH, < br /> LIKE, I KNOW THAT SHIT. "
835
00:35:58,198 --> 00:36:00,951
AND HE GOES," YOU HEAR 230
YOUR LAST TIME HERE.
836
00:36:00,951 --> 00:36:04,747
NOT EXACTLY WHAT I WILL CALL
WEIGHT LOSS! "
837
00:36:04,747 --> 00:36:06,999
I LIKE," DO WE'VE BEEN VERY CHEAP OR SOMETHING? "
838
00:36:06,999 --> 00:36:09,251
LIKE," WHAT ARE YOU DOING? "
839
00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:12,796
THEN SAY,
840
00:36:12,796 --> 00:36:14,506
"YOU KNOW
YOU ARE A FATTEST PATIENT
841
00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:18,052
I LOOK AT THE DAY."
842
00:36:18,052 --> 00:36:21,931
AND I GO,
"THAT'S 9:30 AM IN THE MORNING."
843
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:25,726
AND HE GOES, "STILL."
844
00:36:27,103 --> 00:36:28,771
HE'S LIKE, "YOU KNOW,
WE HAVE BLOOD WORK YOU.
845
00:36:28,771 --> 00:36:33,150
TI MENGHIDUPKAN ENZYM MUSIK ANDA
MELALUI ATAP. "
846
00:36:33,150 --> 00:36:35,444
AND I GO, "YEAH, MAN,
LIKE, I AM SUPER STRONG.
847
00:36:35,444 --> 00:36:37,529
LIKE, HOW IS IT A MEN'S PROBLEM?"
848
00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:39,782
AND HE GOES,
"THEY BECOME THE CHARTS."
849
00:36:39,782 --> 00:36:41,742
I LIKE, "EVEN BETTER.
850
00:36:41,742 --> 00:36:44,870
I MAYBE
YOUR STRONG PATIENT, MAN."
851
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:47,831
AND HE GOES, "I DON'T THINK
YOU UNDERSTAND MUSCLE ENZYMES."
852
00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:52,044
AND I GO, "IT'S TRUE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE."
853
00:36:52,044 --> 00:36:54,546
AND HE GOES, "GOOD, THE WAY JUST
YOU CAN HAVE THEM THIS IS HIGH
854
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:57,883
" WOULD, LIKE, & apos; A, & apos;
IF YOU ARE AN OLYMPIC ATLET,
855
00:36:57,883 --> 00:37:01,095
WHO, CLEAR YOU NOT. "
856
00:37:01,095 --> 00:37:05,099
I LIKE,
" DUDE, WHAT IS DEAL, MAN? "
857
00:37:05,099 --> 00:37:06,475
AND HE GOES,
" ANOTHER WAY TO
858
00:37:06,475 --> 00:37:10,020
IF YOU BECOME
A ADDICT COCAINE. "
859
00:37:13,190 --> 00:37:15,109
AND I GO," I DO NOT DO COKE. "
860
00:37:15,109 --> 00:37:16,986
AND HE GOES, "I AM YOUR DOCTOR.
YOU MUST NOT FUN ME."
861
00:37:16,986 --> 00:37:18,862
AND I GO, "I AM NOT LYING."
862
00:37:18,862 --> 00:37:20,864
AND HE GOES, "I CAN'T TREAT YOU
IF YOU ARE NOT GONNA BECOME HONEST."
863
00:37:20,864 --> 00:37:23,366
AND I GO, "HEY, MAN,
WHAT IS SKIN GLORY?
864
00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:25,911
NOTHING, LIKE,
PART OF DEAL? "
865
00:37:25,911 --> 00:37:28,288
AND HE GOES," AS, YEAH. "
866
00:37:28,288 --> 00:37:29,539
NURSE COMES IN.
867
00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:32,084
HE TAKES MY GUIDE
FROM HANDS,
868
00:37:32,084 --> 00:37:34,544
AND HE GOES, "OH, MY LORD.
869
00:37:34,544 --> 00:37:37,673
" THE MUSIC ENZYM
IS VERY HIGH.
870
00:37:37,673 --> 00:37:39,716
MAY HAVE RUNNED MARATHON. "
871
00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:43,846
AND MY DOCTOR GOES,
" SEE HIM. "
872
00:37:43,846 --> 00:37:45,263
SO IN THIS POINT, I GO,
" THIS IS MUCH FUN.
873
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:47,307
"THANK YOU
FOR HAVING ME TODAY.
874
00:37:47,307 --> 00:37:49,392
I GONNA STAY NOW, "
AND HE GOES," ALL RIGHT. "
875
00:37:49,392 --> 00:37:51,020
THEN HE GOES,
" HO - HOLD ON A SECOND.
876
00:37:51,020 --> 00:37:52,604
DO YOU HAVE RING
ON YOUR FINGER? "
877
00:37:52,604 --> 00:37:56,233
AND I GO," YEAH. "
AND HE GOES," YOU ARE LOOKING FOR? "
878
00:37:56,233 --> 00:38:00,821
AND I GO," YEAH, "
AND HE GOES, "TOWARDS GUY?"
879
00:38:00,821 --> 00:38:02,239
AND I GO, "NO."
880
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:04,616
AND HE GOES, "OH.
I THOUGHT YOU ARE GAY. "
881
00:38:04,616 --> 00:38:07,828
AND I GO," WHY? "
AND HE GOES," I DON'T KNOW. "
882
00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:10,873
I LIKE,
" ALL RIGHT, DUDE. "
883
00:38:10,873 --> 00:38:12,541
AND HE GOES,
" HEY, I'M JUST KIDDING. "
884
00:38:12,541 --> 00:38:14,417
AND I GO," IT WAS GOOD. "
He left," BUT CHECK THAT. "
885
00:38:14,417 --> 00:38:17,713
AND HE TAKES MY GUIDE,
AND HE SHOWS ME,
886
00:38:17,713 --> 00:38:21,175
DAN DIA TELAH TERTULIS "GAY?"
887
00:38:21,175 --> 00:38:22,759
IN MY MEDICAL SITES.
888
00:38:22,759 --> 00:38:25,929
[laughter and applause]
889
00:38:25,929 --> 00:38:29,558
THINGS YOU CAN SEND
FOR OTHER DOCTORS
890
00:38:29,558 --> 00:38:31,768
HAVE IN IT....
[chuckles]
891
00:38:31,768 --> 00:38:33,937
"MAY BE WRITTEN IN THE" LELUCARA
COCK WRITE IT.
892
00:38:39,735 --> 00:38:41,319
I live at home
I TELL ME.
893
00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:42,905
HE'S LIKE, "OH, GOD,
WHAT WILL YOU DO?"
894
00:38:42,905 --> 00:38:44,865
AND I LIKE,
"WHAT ARE YOU MEANING?"
895
00:38:44,865 --> 00:38:46,742
AND HE GOES, "I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU
Has GONNA GOED THERE?"
896
00:38:46,742 --> 00:38:48,660
I LIKE,
"ARE YOU FROM YOUR THOUGHTS?
897
00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:50,579
"THAT'S FUNNIEST
FUCKING DOCTOR IN THE WORLD.
898
00:38:50,579 --> 00:38:52,831
COURSE IT
I WILL RETURN THERE. "
899
00:38:52,831 --> 00:38:56,001
I HAVE, LIKE, DON RICKLES
AS MY PHYSICAL PRIMARY CARE.
900
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,419
IT WAS OUTSTANDING.
901
00:38:57,419 --> 00:38:59,171
AKU MENYUKAI CUKUP
KEMBALI KE GUY INI.
902
00:38:59,171 --> 00:39:00,547
"YOU KNOW
YOU LOVE SHIT."
903
00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:02,925
I LOVE, "I KNOW."
904
00:39:04,260 --> 00:39:06,929
HE LOVES AMAZING.
905
00:39:06,929 --> 00:39:08,513
YES GOD .
906
00:39:08,513 --> 00:39:10,432
I THINK DEATH.
907
00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:13,810
I JUST WANT TO BE CAREFUL,
YOU KNOW?
908
00:39:13,810 --> 00:39:16,939
LIKE, IF I DIE HOLY,
YOU KNOW,
909
00:39:16,939 --> 00:39:18,565
Maybe I HAVE, LIKE,
910
00:39:18,565 --> 00:39:20,234
SERENA WILLIAMS
SITTING ON MY FACE,
911
00:39:20,234 --> 00:39:24,196
AND - I DON'T KNOW,
VENUS CAPTURES I DIE,
912
00:39:24,196 --> 00:39:27,241
AND THEY TRY TO FUN
RACKETS IN MY ASS
913
00:39:27,241 --> 00:39:28,951
OR SUCH AS IT.
914
00:39:28,951 --> 00:39:32,079
THEN MY TOURISTS IN, BOOM ,
AND I, LIKE, FUCKING DONE.
915
00:39:33,205 --> 00:39:35,165
IT WAS FUN IT WAS.
916
00:39:35,165 --> 00:39:37,084
I DON'T WANT IT
BECOME A DUMB DEATH.
917
00:39:37,084 --> 00:39:40,670
I FEEL LIKE THE DEATH OF DUMB
THAT THEY ARE STRONG TYPES,
918
00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:42,047
LIKE, IN NEWS.
They do it
919
00:39:42,047 --> 00:39:43,506
THEY & apos; LL LIKE,
IN LOCAL NEWS -
920
00:39:43,506 --> 00:39:45,508
THEY & apos; LL LIKE,
"AND THEN, ALSO COME,
921
00:39:45,508 --> 00:39:49,346
" GUY TRIED TO GET SODA
OUT OF A VENDING MACHINE,
922
00:39:49,346 --> 00:39:50,347
AND IT'S GOOD. "
923
00:39:50,347 --> 00:39:52,891
AND THEY LIKE -
924
00:39:52,891 --> 00:39:55,144
AND YOU LIKE -
925
00:39:55,144 --> 00:39:56,394
& apos; CAUSE THAT COULD HAPPEN
YOU ARE.
926
00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:57,646
IT CAN, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
927
00:39:57,646 --> 00:39:59,689
LIKE, I WILL GO
TO MALL FUCKING,
928
00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:02,525
AND THEN I HAVE A STAFF,
AND THEN THEY SEND NEWS CREW ,
929
00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:03,944
AND THEY LIKE,
"WHAT HAPPENED?"
930
00:40:03,944 --> 00:40:05,612
AND INTERVIEWS
THE DUMBEST FUCKING GUY,
931
00:40:05,612 --> 00:40:08,907
AND HE LIKE ,
"I SEE HIM FALL.
932
00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:11,118
THEN
HE DOES NOT MOVE NO MORE. "
933
00:40:11,118 --> 00:40:12,744
AND YOU LIKE,
" IT'S MY EULOGY?
934
00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:15,705
THANK YOU MUCH, MAN. "
935
00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:18,334
I LIKE I'M GONNA DIE
SOME MONTHS THEN.
936
00:40:18,334 --> 00:40:21,586
I CALL THE CAR SERVICE
TO TAKE ME TO THE AIRPORT.
937
00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:23,297
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU LIKE,
"I GOT 60 BUCKS.
938
00:40:23,297 --> 00:40:25,841
LET & apos; S FUCKING DO THIS, TRUE?"
939
00:40:25,841 --> 00:40:28,426
CAR FOR THIS NICE
COME TO HOME.
940
00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:30,220
GUY GETS OUT.
HE MUST HAVE WHITE HAIR.
941
00:40:30,220 --> 00:40:31,471
MANY OLD HUMANS.
942
00:40:31,471 --> 00:40:32,973
FROM THE BEGINNING,
943
00:40:32,973 --> 00:40:35,267
HE MAKES ME NOT ACCORDING
WHEN he calls me SIR.
944
00:40:35,267 --> 00:40:36,559
I don't know
IF YOU NEVER HAVE A GUY
945
00:40:36,559 --> 00:40:38,312
HOW MORE THAN YOU'RE
CONTACT YOU SIR.
946
00:40:38,312 --> 00:40:41,273
YOU LIKE, "HEY, MAN.
YOU, LIKE, 1,000 OLD YEARS.
947
00:40:41,273 --> 00:40:42,691
" YOU HAVE A WEEKS COUPLE
TO LIVE, POSSIBLE.
948
00:40:42,691 --> 00:40:45,610
HOW TO ABOUT US DROP
FORMALITY, okay? "
949
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:47,988
I GET A CAR, HE GOES, "THE
ALL RIGHT TEMPERATURE, SIR?"
950
00:40:47,988 --> 00:40:49,447
I GO, "IT'S GOOD."
951
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:50,907
He goes, "YOU WANT
WATER BOTTLES, SIR? "
952
00:40:50,907 --> 00:40:52,784
AND I GO," YOU DON'T
MUST CALL SIR.
953
00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:53,994
YOU CAN JUST CALL ME TOM. "
954
00:40:53,994 --> 00:40:55,453
AND AT THE MOMENT,
955
00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:59,124
ALL THE PROFESSIONALISM
WENT OUT THE WINDOW.
956
00:40:59,124 --> 00:41:04,921
& apos; CAUSE VERY NEXT
HERE, "YOU HAVE WE? "
957
00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:07,674
AND I LIKE,
" I MEAN, YEAH, SOMETHING. "
958
00:41:07,674 --> 00:41:10,468
AND HE GOES,
" DO YOU WANT TO USE SOME NOW? "
959
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,554
AND I LIKE,
" I MEAN, YEAH. "
960
00:41:15,682 --> 00:41:19,395
BUT I DON'T THINK MY DRIVER
SHOULD OFFER ME, YOU KNOW?
961
00:41:19,395 --> 00:41:20,812
HE DOES NOT MISS A BEAT.
962
00:41:20,812 --> 00:41:22,981
HE OPENED CONSOLUTES.
He took a JOINT.
963
00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:25,775
HE LIGHTS IT.
He replied back.
964
00:41:25,775 --> 00:41:29,321
I HAVE RESPECT, RIGHT?
& apos; CAUSE HER OLD.
965
00:41:29,321 --> 00:41:31,907
AND THEN I GIVE BACK TO HIM,
AND THE FOLLOWING THAT SAYS IS,
966
00:41:31,907 --> 00:41:35,785
"YEAH, I CANNOT DRIVE
EXCEPT I WALK."
967
00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:39,581
I LOVE, "DO YOU LISTEN
WHAT ARE YOU JUST ONLY? "
968
00:41:39,581 --> 00:41:41,458
AND HE GOES," YEAH,
I RIPPED RIGHT NOW. "
969
00:41:41,458 --> 00:41:43,335
I LIKE," GOOD, HANDS < br /> 10:00 and 2:00, MOTHERFUCKER. "
970
00:41:43,335 --> 00:41:45,628
LIKE," AWAY IS SIMPLE. "
971
00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:47,923
I GO," WHAT IS ALL YOU DO? > SMOKE WEED? "
972
00:41:47,923 --> 00:41:49,466
I CAN HANDLE A WEED.
GUY.
973
00:41:49,466 --> 00:41:50,926
HE WAS GOING,
" WELL, I LOVE IT ALL. "
974
00:41:50,926 --> 00:41:53,220
AND I LIKE, "WHAT IS IT ALL?
975
00:41:53,220 --> 00:41:54,888
IT'S A BROAD STATEMENT."
976
00:41:54,888 --> 00:41:57,974
He goes, "I LOVE COKE.
I love HEROIN
977
00:41:57,974 --> 00:41:59,142
" BUT THERE IS NO
SUCH AS SMOKING,
978
00:41:59,142 --> 00:42:00,936
YOU KNOW WHAT SAYS?
979
00:42:00,936 --> 00:42:03,813
AND I LIKE, "NO, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT YOU SAY."
980
00:42:03,813 --> 00:42:05,982
YOUR THOUGHTS,
THIS IS WHEN HE DRIVES,
981
00:42:05,982 --> 00:42:08,277
LIKE IT LIKE LIKE,
"I LOVE SMOKING ROCKS, MAN.
982
00:42:08,277 --> 00:42:11,363
YOU KNOW WHAT I & apos; M--"
I LOVE, "DUDE, TURN AROUND."
983
00:42:11,363 --> 00:42:12,489
SO I GO,
"CAN I ASK SOMETHING?"
984
00:42:12,489 --> 00:42:13,865
He goes, "YEAH.
WHAT IS THERE?"
985
00:42:13,865 --> 00:42:15,367
I GO, "WHAT IS
TO USE ROCKS?
986
00:42:15,367 --> 00:42:16,868
I NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE."
987
00:42:16,868 --> 00:42:18,120
AND HE GOES,
988
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,874
"OOH- OOH! "
989
00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:27,296
[applause]
990
00:42:27,296 --> 00:42:28,671
I LIKE,
" Is that the WHOLE SENTENCE?
991
00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:30,299
ITU SAJA?"
992
00:42:30,299 --> 00:42:32,634
HE WAS GOING,
"THAT SHIT IS THE BEST!
993
00:42:32,634 --> 00:42:34,386
" WHAT I WANT TO DO
OWN,
994
00:42:34,386 --> 00:42:37,764
"I WANT SIT
> IN MY APARTMENT AND FIRE & EM; EM UP.
995
00:42:37,764 --> 00:42:42,478
"AND THEN I SEE
OUT THE PEEPHOLE.
996
00:42:42,478 --> 00:42:45,021
" AND I WATCH PEOPLE
STREETS .
997
00:42:45,021 --> 00:42:48,691
"AND I JUST FREAK
THE FUCK OUT
998
00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:51,653
ABOUT WHAT IS
GONNA HAPPENED NEXT. "
999
00:42:51,653 --> 00:42:53,363
AND THEN, HE GIVES ME
LIKE A LIKE NOD,
1000
00:42:53,363 --> 00:42:55,365
" DOES NOT THE EARLY EARLY? "
1001
00:42:55,365 --> 00:42:58,576
I LIKE,
"DUDE, THAT TERRIBLE SOUNDS.
1002
00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,370
" CALLED
FIBER FIBER,
1003
00:43:00,370 --> 00:43:04,082
"AND IT'S HORRIBLE
SALES PITCH FOR CRACK.
1004
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:06,709
NOW, I DEFINITELY
DO NOT GONNA TRY IT. "
1005
00:43:06,709 --> 00:43:08,711
WE PULL UP TO THE AIRPORT,
AND I GO,
1006
00:43:08,711 --> 00:43:10,172
"THERE IS NO MY BUSINESS,
BUT I THINK YOU'RE TOO OLD
1007
00:43:10,172 --> 00:43:11,673
TO ENJOY
WITH ALL OF THESE MEDICINES."
1008
00:43:11,673 --> 00:43:14,926
AND HE GOES,
"I DON'T DO IT AGAIN, TOM."
1009
00:43:14,926 --> 00:43:17,137
YEAH, IT'S "SIR"
ON THE RIDE.
1010
00:43:17,137 --> 00:43:20,307
NOW,
IT "TOM, YOU'RE THEY SHIT."
1011
00:43:20,307 --> 00:43:22,809
"I DON'T DO IT MORE.
I KNOW WHEN I WAS YOUNG."
1012
00:43:22,809 --> 00:43:24,520
AND I GO, "ALL RIGHT."
1013
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,605
AND HE GOES, "I MEAN, I STILL
DO EVERY TIME ONLY.
1014
00:43:27,605 --> 00:43:29,816
" BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY,
IF YOU DO SOMETHING
1015
00:43:29,816 --> 00:43:32,861
ONCE,
IT'S NOT BAD FOR YOU. "
1016
00:43:32,861 --> 00:43:34,070
AND I LIKE," DUDE,
I THINK THEY MEAN THAT ABOUT,
1017
00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:37,366
"LIKE, PIZZA AND CHOCOLATE.
1018
00:43:37,366 --> 00:43:40,910
"NEVER MEAN THAT
FOR CRACK, JUST LIKE YOU KNOW."
1019
00:43:40,910 --> 00:43:41,995
I NEVER HEAR,
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
1020
00:43:41,995 --> 00:43:43,413
"I SMOKED ROCKS."
1021
00:43:43,413 --> 00:43:46,749
"GOOD, NOT EVERY DAY, OK?
YOU'RE TRUE KID."
1022
00:43:49,211 --> 00:43:50,420
WEED IS NOT A BIG DEAL, ENOUGH.
1023
00:43:50,420 --> 00:43:51,671
I DON'T KNOW WHY FUCK
1024
00:43:51,671 --> 00:43:52,672
PEOPLE MAKE A BIG DEAL
OUT OF WEED.
1025
00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:54,550
YOU KNOW?
YOU -
1026
00:43:54,550 --> 00:43:57,135
[applause and applause]
YOU SEE THAT CHANGE.
1027
00:43:57,135 --> 00:43:58,595
I MEAN,
COUNTRIES HAVE LEGALIZED.
1028
00:43:58,595 --> 00:44:01,056
I DON'T KNOW WHY -
PERCEPTION, I FIND,
1029
00:44:01,056 --> 00:44:03,016
FROM OTHERS
ABOUT CALIFORNIA,
1030
00:44:03,016 --> 00:44:05,519
THEY THINK THAT WE LIKE
THE WILD FUCKING WEST.
1031
00:44:05,519 --> 00:44:07,270
LIKE, PEOPLE, THEY LIKE,
"AW, YOU'RE LIVING IN LA
1032
00:44:07,270 --> 00:44:08,688
" YOU GUYS ARE ONLY JOINING
1033
00:44:08,688 --> 00:44:10,732
AND SAY COPS
TO LOVE YOUR DICK, TRUE? "
1034
00:44:10,732 --> 00:44:14,069
AND I LIKE," YEAH,
IT IS REALLY TRUE, YEAH.
1035
00:44:14,069 --> 00:44:17,531
"YOU MUST DO THAT TOO
WHEN YOU COME.
1036
00:44:17,531 --> 00:44:20,534
"LAPD IS SUPER TO IT.
1037
00:44:20,534 --> 00:44:21,951
"BUT TAKE YOUR JOINT,
FLICK IT AT & apos; EM,
1038
00:44:21,951 --> 00:44:23,870
" LIKE, & apos; SUCK MY DICK, MAN. & Apos;
1039
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:27,583
THEY & apos; LL LAUGH
AND YOUR FIVE - IT WAS GOOD. "
1040
00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:30,586
IT & apos; S SO DIF--
I MEAN, FIRST OF ALL -
1041
00:44:30,586 --> 00:44:31,753
ALL RIGHT, LET & apos; S CLEAR.
1042
00:44:31,753 --> 00:44:33,129
IF YOU GETTING A MEDICAL CARD,
1043
00:44:33,129 --> 00:44:35,340
ONE OF THINGS
THAT PEOPLE DON'T KNOW,
1044
00:44:35,340 --> 00:44:37,175
THEY HAVE THE DATE OF EXPIRATION
ON THEM,
1045
00:44:37,175 --> 00:44:39,844
AND YOU MUST BUY
YOUR CARD ALL TIME.
1046
00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:41,137
AND IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
1047
00:44:41,137 --> 00:44:42,639
ITU TIDAK BENAR
HAL TERANG.
1048
00:44:42,639 --> 00:44:44,015
YOU ARE TRUE -
YOU MUST GET YOUR CAR.
1049
00:44:44,015 --> 00:44:46,684
YOU MUST DRIVE DOWN
FOR A PLACE
1050
00:44:46,684 --> 00:44:50,105
IT WAS - IT'S ALL
YOU GOTTA DO, GO TO THERE DRIVE.
1051
00:44:50,105 --> 00:44:52,941
TAKES, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES.
1052
00:44:52,941 --> 00:44:56,278
BUT MY CARD IS REQUIRED
THREE YEARS AGO.
1053
00:44:56,278 --> 00:44:57,737
I STILL NOT GIVING IT.
1054
00:44:57,737 --> 00:44:59,531
I GO TO GO TO DISPENSIZED
SOME WEEKS,
1055
00:44:59,531 --> 00:45:01,366
AND THERE ARE TWO ROOMS.
1056
00:45:01,366 --> 00:45:03,743
THERE ARE THE ROOMS CHECKING YOU
OUT IN, THEY CHECK YOUR STUFF,
1057
00:45:03,743 --> 00:45:06,121
AND THEN, THERE ARE MAIN ROOMS
WITH ALL GOODS, TRUE?
1058
00:45:06,121 --> 00:45:07,497
AND GUY TOOK MY CARD,
AND HE GOES,
1059
00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:09,625
"DUDE, I CAN'T LET YOU IN.
1060
00:45:09,625 --> 00:45:11,876
YOUR CARD IS REQUIRED
THREE YEARS AGO."
1061
00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:15,171
I LIKE,
"COME IN, MAN."
1062
00:45:15,171 --> 00:45:18,467
DAN DIA SEPERTI,
"BAIKLAH."
1063
00:45:20,009 --> 00:45:23,639
I LIKE, "WOW, I
A REALLY GOOD NEGOTIATOR, HUH?"
1064
00:45:23,639 --> 00:45:26,933
I AM NOT REAL - GOOD,
YOU'RE ONLY LOVE LIKE IT, YEAH.
1065
00:45:30,395 --> 00:45:34,316
GET MEDICAL CARDS
IS SURREAL
1066
00:45:34,316 --> 00:45:35,984
MY SURREAL EXPERIENCE.
1067
00:45:35,984 --> 00:45:39,529
I GO THE DOCTOR OFFICE,
1068
00:45:39,529 --> 00:45:43,116
AND IT'S NOT DR.
DICKHEAD
THAT I SAY YOU ABOUT.
1069
00:45:43,116 --> 00:45:44,576
THIS IS A DIFFERENT DOCTOR.
1070
00:45:44,576 --> 00:45:46,828
HE'S A DOCTOR
BECAUSE HE HAS A BUSINESS CARD,
1071
00:45:46,828 --> 00:45:49,872
AND HE PUT "DR."
ABOVE.
1072
00:45:52,125 --> 00:45:55,044
THE OFFICE
SUCH AS FULLY SHIT,
1073
00:45:55,044 --> 00:45:58,047
THAT YOU CAN LISTEN
FINAL CONVERSATION
1074
00:45:58,047 --> 00:46:00,967
BETWEEN DOCTORS
AND YOUR FUTURE PATIENTS,
1075
00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:03,761
WHICH CAN'T HAPPEN HAPPEN.
1076
00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:06,473
LIKE I WAIT FOR TURN ME OFF
TO GO IN, I WAIT,
1077
00:46:06,473 --> 00:46:08,600
AND I LISTEN TO DOCTOR GO,
"OH, WHAT DO YOU NEED TO MEDICAL
1078
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,185
FOR MARIJUANA?"
1079
00:46:10,185 --> 00:46:12,604
AND GUY IS THERE GOES,
" OH, I HAVE A BONE DISEASE. "
1080
00:46:12,604 --> 00:46:16,232
AND I LIKE," OH, SHIT.
I HAVE NO BONE DISEASE. "
1081
00:46:16,232 --> 00:46:18,401
LIKE, I THOUGHT YOU CAN JUST < LIKE, "WEED" S AWESOME. "
1082
00:46:18,401 --> 00:46:20,612
AND HE LIKE,
" YEAH, I KNOW TO KNOW, "LIKE...
1083
00:46:22,405 --> 00:46:25,283
SO I STARTED THE PANIC INTERNAL -
LIKE WHAT I GONNA SAY?
1084
00:46:25,283 --> 00:46:26,993
AND IN MY THOUGHT,
I JUST GO TO THE WORST SHIT.
1085
00:46:26,993 --> 00:46:28,328
LIKE, IN MY MIND, I LIKE,
"JUST TELL YOU HAVE AIDS.
1086
00:46:28,328 --> 00:46:29,787
LIKE, JUST SAY IT
YOU HAVE AIDS."
1087
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,498
KEMUDIAN SEPERTI,
"KETIKA ANDA MENCARI?"
1088
00:46:31,498 --> 00:46:33,875
I LIKE, "I AM JUST FOUND,
LIKE, FIVE MINUTES."
1089
00:46:33,875 --> 00:46:35,210
"YOU DO NOT SEE
IT'S BUMMED OUT."
1090
00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:36,586
" GOOD, I'M JUST HAPPY.
FOR HERE,
1091
00:46:36,586 --> 00:46:38,672
SO LET
ASKING ME TO PROVE IT,
1092
00:46:38,672 --> 00:46:40,757
THEY WILL NEVER LIKE,
"PROVE IT,"
1093
00:46:40,757 --> 00:46:42,384
AND YOU LIKE, "OH,
I SEND CARD I AM AT HOME.
1094
00:46:42,384 --> 00:46:44,302
I HAVE NO I. "
1095
00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:46,137
THEN I went,
" THE WAY WAS TOO DRAMATIC.
1096
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:47,847
JUST DIAL BACK. "
1097
00:46:47,847 --> 00:46:49,349
I LIKE," AH, I JUST SAY
I HAVE CANCER
1098
00:46:49,349 --> 00:46:50,975
IT'S MORE NOT TRUE. "
1099
00:46:50,975 --> 00:46:52,644
THEN I START THINKING
FROM ALL MY FAMILY MEMBERS
1100
00:46:52,644 --> 00:46:54,771
WHO HAVE CANCER,
AND I LIKE,
1101
00:46:54,771 --> 00:46:56,606
YANG MEMILIKI KANKER,
DAN AKU SEPERTI,
1102
00:46:56,606 --> 00:47:01,277
"MAN, IF YOU SAY YOU HAVE CANCER
ONLY TO GET US,
1103
00:47:01,277 --> 00:47:05,865
I GET CANCER
NEXT FUCKING WEEK."
1104
00:47:05,865 --> 00:47:07,200
AT TIME /> I HAVE THOUGHT,
1105
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:08,410
I'M SITTING IN FRONT
DOCTOR.
1106
00:47:08,410 --> 00:47:10,078
HE'S LIKE -
I GO, "WHAT?"
1107
00:47:10,078 --> 00:47:12,914
He left, "WHAT ARE YOUR MEDICALS
NEED TO BE MARIJUANA?"
1108
00:47:12,914 --> 00:47:16,501
AND THE BEST THAT CAN COME WITH
ON THE SPOT IS,
1109
00:47:16,501 --> 00:47:19,295
"SICK HEAD."
1111
00:47:21,005 --> 00:47:23,258
AND I GO, "OH, YEAH."
1112
00:47:23,258 --> 00:47:24,718
AND HE GOES,
"YOU DO NOT HAVE A GLASS?"
1113
00:47:24,718 --> 00:47:28,513
AND I GO, "CANNOT. HURTS.
1114
00:47:28,513 --> 00:47:30,599
" EVERYTHING IS SURE.
OW OW.
1115
00:47:30,599 --> 00:47:33,518
OW OW. "
1116
00:47:33,518 --> 00:47:36,854
HE WRITES I STATED.
I'M GOING TO LEAVE.
1117
00:47:36,854 --> 00:47:39,857
AS I LEAVE, I SEE THE GUY
ANYONE IN NEXT,
1118
00:47:39,857 --> 00:47:43,194
AND I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT
IT WAS GONNA FUN TO LISTEN.
1119
00:47:43,194 --> 00:47:45,530
& APOS; CAUSE I THINK HE IS NOT GONNA
GET IT, AND I WILL SAY YOU WHY.
1120
00:47:45,530 --> 00:47:47,532
I REALLY KNOW GUY,
& apos; CAUSE GUY & apos; S
1121
00:47:47,532 --> 00:47:51,453
YOUR LOCATION OF TYPE. CHOLO
MEXICO GANGBANGER, okay?
1122
00:47:51,453 --> 00:47:53,455
IT'S VERY SPECIAL CHECK.
YOU HAVE SEEN THE Cinema.
1123
00:47:53,455 --> 00:47:55,164
YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK
I SPEAK ABOUT.
1124
00:47:55,164 --> 00:47:59,335
IT> S KHAKI DICKIES
WITH CLOSED WHITE,
1125
00:47:59,335 --> 00:48:01,879
CHUCK TAYLORS, AN BORN,
1126
00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:06,259
AND ALSO LA TAT IN, LIKE,
THIS GENERAL AREA HERE.
1127
00:48:06,259 --> 00:48:08,010
LIKE IT LIKE,
"AW, IF I LOSE MY HAT,
1128
00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:11,473
I STILL HAVE A FAVORITE TEAM I
RIGHT HERE. "
1129
00:48:13,850 --> 00:48:15,560
SO I LISTEN TO THE DOOR.
1130
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:16,645
I LIKE...
[laughs]
1131
00:48:16,645 --> 00:48:18,020
AND I LISTEN TO THE GO DOCTOR,
1132
00:48:18,020 --> 00:48:19,564
"WHAT DO YOU NEED TO MEDICAL
FOR MARIJUANA?"
1133
00:48:19,564 --> 00:48:21,190
AND GUY GOES,
1134
00:48:21,190 --> 00:48:25,403
"I'M JUST LIKE A WAY
THAT WE MAKE ME FEEL. "
1135
00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:29,073
AND THEN THE DOCTOR WRITES IT
A PRESCRIPTION FOR IT.
1136
00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:30,492
YEAH, YOU MUST NOT LIE.
1137
00:48:30,492 --> 00:48:32,034
YOU CAN JUST LIKE,
"WEED" S AWESOME. "
1138
00:48:32,034 --> 00:48:34,329
AND HE LIKE,
" YEAH, I KNOW TO KNOW.
1139
00:48:34,329 --> 00:48:35,789
"I FEEL SORRY
FOR EVERYONE WITH DISEASE
1140
00:48:35,789 --> 00:48:38,124
"THAT KEEP COMES
HERE, MAN.
1141
00:48:38,124 --> 00:48:39,709
" LAST DUDE EYES
DO NOT WORK.
1142
00:48:39,709 --> 00:48:42,671
"IT'S SAD.
1143
00:48:42,671 --> 00:48:46,090
YOU ARE LUCKY YOU HAVE
YOUR HEALTH, ESE. "
1144
00:48:46,090 --> 00:48:48,301
" ORALE. "
1145
00:48:50,720 --> 00:48:54,349
I ALWAYS TRY
TO SET GOALS.
1146
00:48:54,349 --> 00:48:59,354
MY LAST GOAL - I & apos; M TRYING
FOR POLITICS LESS, YOU KNOW?
1147
00:48:59,354 --> 00:49:01,230
& apos; CAUSE THE WORLD
NOT AS A POLITE
1148
00:49:01,230 --> 00:49:04,233
AS YOU HAVE NEEDED TO BELIEVE
IT IS BE GONNA, YOU KNOW?
1149
00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:08,655
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE ACCEPT
THAT YOU SAY "THANK YOU,"
1150
00:49:08,655 --> 00:49:10,532
PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE
TO SAY "YOU'RE WELCOME" MORE.
1151
00:49:10,532 --> 00:49:12,283
PEOPLE HAVE STOPPED.
1152
00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:15,537
PEOPLE HAVE STOPPED. p>
1153
00:49:15,537 --> 00:49:17,413
NOW, YOU SAY "THANK YOU," AND
PEOPLE GIVE YOU A NOD, LIKE -
1154
00:49:17,413 --> 00:49:19,499
I WANT YOUR STAB
IN THE FOLLOWING BENEFITS
1155
00:49:19,499 --> 00:49:21,292
IF YOU DO IT TO ME.
I do
1156
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,418
I GO, "THANK YOU,"
AND THEY GO...
1157
00:49:22,418 --> 00:49:24,003
I GO, "DO YOU NOT -
DO YOU NOT HAVE TO HEAR
1158
00:49:24,003 --> 00:49:26,756
WHAT ARE I JUST FOR YOU, MAN?"
1159
00:49:26,756 --> 00:49:28,007
SO NOW, I SKIP IT ALL.
1160
00:49:28,007 --> 00:49:30,552
I JUST TAKE SHIT,
AND I GO...
1161
00:49:33,596 --> 00:49:34,890
I FIND ATTENDANCE EVERYWHERE.
1162
00:49:34,890 --> 00:49:36,558
p>
1163
00:49:36,558 --> 00:49:39,268
I THINK THE RELATED PEOPLE
IN THE WORLD
1164
00:49:39,268 --> 00:49:41,479
ARE PEOPLE WHO WAIT
OUTSIDE OF THE GROSERY STORE
1165
00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:44,190
WITH THE PETITION FOR YOU
TO SIGN.
1166
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:46,401
WHAT'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE
YOU ARE.
1167
00:49:46,401 --> 00:49:49,278
THEY DO IT, AND DO YOU KNOW
WHY IS THE SITE TO BE DONE?
1168
00:49:49,278 --> 00:49:50,988
THEY RECOMMEND THE MOTORCYCLE
TO DESTROY YOUR PREGNANCY.
1169
00:49:50,988 --> 00:49:52,657
& apos CAUSE YOU LEAVE
GROCERY STORE,
1170
00:49:52,657 --> 00:49:54,158
AND YOU FEEL WHAT?
YOU FEEL HAPPY.
1171
00:49:54,158 --> 00:49:57,787
YOU LIKE,
"OH, I GOT SOY MILK.
1172
00:49:57,787 --> 00:50:00,039
THE GONNA IS A GOOD WEEK.
GOOD."
1173
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:01,624
I LIKE, "SEE ANYTHING?"
1174
00:50:01,624 --> 00:50:03,334
AND THEY LIKE,
"DO YOU WANT THE CHILDREN TOWARDS
1175
00:50:03,334 --> 00:50:04,711
AND DIE ON THE STREETS?"
1176
00:50:04,711 --> 00:50:07,797
AND I LIKE...
1177
00:50:09,632 --> 00:50:13,052
"NOW I DO - NOW THAT YOU ARE ONLY
AVOIDING MY DAY, I DO, YEAH.
1178
00:50:13,052 --> 00:50:16,639
I WANT DEAD FIRST, BUT
THEN I WANT ALL THEM TO DIE. "
1179
00:50:16,639 --> 00:50:18,140
I SAY OPPOSITE
FROM ANYTHING THEY TRY
1180
00:50:18,140 --> 00:50:19,893
TO GIVE ME HAVE ME.
1181
00:50:19,893 --> 00:50:23,271
LIKE, "THIS IS TO TEACH BLIND
PEOPLE HOW TO DO SHAKESPEARE."
1182
00:50:23,271 --> 00:50:26,566
I LIKE, "I HOPE
THEY ARE ALL GO DEAF FIRST."
1183
00:50:26,566 --> 00:50:28,025
p>
1184
00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:29,569
AND THEY LIKE, "JESUS."
1185
00:50:29,569 --> 00:50:32,697
I LIKE,
"YEAH, IT'S THE FOLLOWING.
1186
00:50:32,697 --> 00:50:35,199
You are ASSHOLE, not me."
1187
00:50:35,199 --> 00:50:37,702
I GO, "I LOVE LOVE
WAR IN AFGHANISTAN.
1188
00:50:37,702 --> 00:50:40,204
" IT'S MY FAVORITE WAR.
1189
00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:42,874
I WISH IT GOES ON
FOR 1,000 YEARS . "
1190
00:50:42,874 --> 00:50:44,292
AND THEY LIKE,
" YOU ARE CRAZY. "
1191
00:50:44,292 --> 00:50:46,085
I LIKE," IT'S TRUE.
I AM CRAZY.
1192
00:50:46,085 --> 00:50:49,338
REMEMBER MY FACE AND NEVER
Ask me to see SHIT AGAIN. "
1193
00:50:53,009 --> 00:50:54,343
I CAN'T GET THE RUDE PEOPLE.
1194
00:50:54,343 --> 00:50:56,638
I AM AT THE
HOTEL SOME WEEKS.
1195
00:50:56,638 --> 00:50:59,307
I GO TO THE GYM HOTEL.
I GET TREADMILL.
1196
00:50:59,307 --> 00:51:02,518
I WALK, I DON'T KNOW,
70 MILES, TRUE?
1197
00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:05,021
[laughter]
170 MILES, THANK YOU.
1198
00:51:05,021 --> 00:51:06,439
170 MILES.
1199
00:51:06,439 --> 00:51:08,274
BUT I AM ALWAYS.
THERE IS NO EXISTING.
1200
00:51:08,274 --> 00:51:10,026
I WAS REMEMBER.
I BELIEVE LIFE.
1201
00:51:10,026 --> 00:51:11,903
[groans]
1202
00:51:11,903 --> 00:51:13,905
THEN, OUT OF NOWHERE,
I JUST HEAR, "GET IT?"
1203
00:51:13,905 --> 00:51:17,283
AND I GO, "JESUS CHRIST!
WHAT?"
1204
00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:18,785
THIS IS GUY GOES,
"YOU GET IT?"
1205
00:51:18,785 --> 00:51:21,120
I GO, "GET ANYTHING?"
1206
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:22,538
HE SAYS,
"YOU GET TO WORK IN? "
1207
00:51:22,538 --> 00:51:25,708
I GO," IT WASN'T
FUCKING LOOKING LIKE IT? "
1208
00:51:25,708 --> 00:51:27,251
He went," YEAH, YOU'RE ONLY
GOTTA KEEPING TO DO IT. "
1209
00:51:27,251 --> 00:51:29,838
AND I GO, "Alright."
1210
00:51:29,838 --> 00:51:31,923
He goes, "NAH,
I'M USED LIKE YOU."
1211
00:51:31,923 --> 00:51:34,216
AND I GO, "WHAT? "
1212
00:51:34,216 --> 00:51:35,551
HE WAS GOING,
" I WAS USED LIKE YOU.
1213
00:51:35,551 --> 00:51:37,094
"YOU'RE ONLY GOTTA KEEP
RIGHT EAT
1214
00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:38,513
AND MUCH DO IT,
AND YOU WILL GET THERE. "
1215
00:51:38,513 --> 00:51:41,140
AND I LIKE,
" DUDE, I DONE. "
1216
00:51:41,140 --> 00:51:43,267
[laughter]
1217
00:51:46,312 --> 00:51:48,731
AND HE LIKE, "I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW THAT."
1218
00:51:48,731 --> 00:51:50,441
LET ME--
LET ME POINT SOMETHING OUT.
1219
00:51:50,441 --> 00:51:54,195
It's OK for me to MAKE JOKES
ABOUT THE PEOPLE MENTIONED
1220
00:51:54,195 --> 00:51:56,280
AND PEOPLE
WITH HORRIBLE DISEASES
1221
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,616
BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME
UNSAFE,
1222
00:51:58,616 --> 00:52:01,243
AND I DON'T WANT
LIKE THEM.
1223
00:52:01,243 --> 00:52:04,497
[laughter]
1224
00:52:07,166 --> 00:52:09,044
MAY MAKE IT I'M
BAD PEOPLE,
1225
00:52:09,044 --> 00:52:10,879
BUT I'M JUST HONEST,
1226
00:52:10,879 --> 00:52:14,173
AND I SAY YOU,
THAT SHIT WANTS.
1227
00:52:14,173 --> 00:52:15,466
I DON'T WANT LIKE THEM.
1228
00:52:15,466 --> 00:52:16,759
HERE OTHER BITS
INFORMATION
1229
00:52:16,759 --> 00:52:19,428
I ALSO DO NOT WANT
TO SEE THEM.
1230
00:52:19,428 --> 00:52:21,138
NOT MY.
1231
00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:24,100
1232
00:52:24,100 --> 00:52:27,186
NOT MY. p>
1233
00:52:27,186 --> 00:52:29,647
NOT STAND STILL FOR ONE FRAME.
1234
00:52:29,647 --> 00:52:32,608
[laughter and applause]
1235
00:52:32,608 --> 00:52:36,237
GUY CANNOT EAT SOUP.
IT'S DECLARING, OK?
1236
00:52:36,237 --> 00:52:38,239
TRY TO PRODUCE THIS THING
AS COMEDY?
1237
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:39,782
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
1238
00:52:39,782 --> 00:52:42,952
YOU BUY EVERYONE.
1239
00:52:42,952 --> 00:52:45,080
HOW MUCH PARKINSON & apos ; S JOKES
I WILL HAVE THE APPLICATION
1240
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:46,539
WITH THIS THING?
1241
00:52:46,539 --> 00:52:48,499
I WILL NOT WATCH SHOW.
I SEE COMMERCIALLY.
1242
00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:50,626
I WOULDN'T WAIT THAT SHOWING.
1243
00:52:50,626 --> 00:52:52,003
YOU KNOW WHY?
A VERSION OF IT
1244
00:52:52,003 --> 00:52:55,172
PLAY IN MY HEAD,
AND IT WAS TRYING HORRIBLE.
1245
00:52:55,172 --> 00:52:56,591
AND I THOUGHT
IT WAS REALLY ACCURATE.
1246
00:52:56,591 --> 00:52:58,259
I WAS REALLY.
1247
00:52:58,259 --> 00:53:00,636
I BET YOU THAT SHOWS NOTHING
BUT SETUP FOR THAT SHIT.
1248
00:53:00,636 --> 00:53:03,932
I BET IT JUST LIKE, HERE--
IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF GOES,
1249
00:53:03,932 --> 00:53:06,559
"DAD, CAN I HELP MY
HAMMER ON THIS NAIL?"
1250
00:53:06,559 --> 00:53:11,313
AND HE GOES, "YOU KNOW
THEY DON'T CREATE ME WITH THEM."
1251
00:53:11,313 --> 00:53:12,774
AND THEN YOU GET GO,
AT HOME,
1252
00:53:12,774 --> 00:53:15,443
"I UNDERSTAND.
SHE SHOULD HAVE PARKINSON & apos; S."
1253
00:53:18,446 --> 00:53:19,989
YOU DO NOT THINK
IT HAS THE PITCHED
1254
00:53:19,989 --> 00:53:23,200
IN THE AUTHOR'S SPACE?
1255
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:26,162
"IT & S; S PASTA NIGHT.
DAD, CAN I GET SOME PARMESANTS?"
1256
00:53:26,162 --> 00:53:28,372
"That's ONE THING
I CAN DO EVERYTHING."
1257
00:53:28,372 --> 00:53:32,043
[laughter]
1258
00:53:32,043 --> 00:53:35,630
"I AM GOOD.
I WANT I WAS GOOD."
1259
00:53:40,468 --> 00:53:43,054
YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT THE EPISODE
IDISODE HAS TALKED ABOUT,
1260
00:53:43,054 --> 00:53:45,014
WHERE HE WAS GOING TO WORK,
AND IT WAS GETTING SAY,
1261
00:53:45,014 --> 00:53:46,933
"ANDA TAHU, AKU HARUS MENDAPATKAN
SAYA SENDIRI VIBRATOR. "
1262
00:53:46,933 --> 00:53:51,479
"That's ONE THING
MY TOUR DOES NOT NEED."
1263
00:53:51,479 --> 00:53:52,688
AND THEN YOU GET GO,
"I UNDERSTAND.
1264
00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:55,024
HE MUST HAVE PARKINSON & apos; S. "
1265
00:53:56,651 --> 00:53:59,154
I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT SHIT.
1266
00:53:59,154 --> 00:54:00,738
I AM SITTING IN THE HOUSE.
1267
00:54:00,738 --> 00:54:02,031
I TRIED TO HAVE
FUCKING DINNER.
1268
00:54:02,031 --> 00:54:03,240
I SITTING ON MY COUCH.
1269
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:04,366
WE HAVE A TABLE,
BUT I ADENT,
1270
00:54:04,366 --> 00:54:05,994
AND I CAN SIT WHERE I WANT.
1271
00:54:05,994 --> 00:54:08,788
SO I AM ON THE COUCH,
ABOUT HAVING A NIGHT EAT,
1272
00:54:08,788 --> 00:54:10,915
AND THIS FUCKING -
A GIRL -
1273
00:54:10,915 --> 00:54:13,835
TWO GIRLS - ONE GIRL--
A GIRL -
1274
00:54:13,835 --> 00:54:16,879
TWO - ONE -
A GIRL - TWO GIRLS -
1275
00:54:16,879 --> 00:54:21,467
ONE ONE WHO HAS TWO HEADS
ON ONE BODY COMES.
1276
00:54:21,467 --> 00:54:22,551
THEIR HEADS ARE ANY OTHER.
1277
00:54:22,551 --> 00:54:26,514
KEPALA MEREKA SEPERTI, "MMM."
1278
00:54:26,514 --> 00:54:28,057
THEY ARE LOOKING FOR LIKE
THEY ARE GONNA GRUNT
1279
00:54:28,057 --> 00:54:29,767
THEY ARE LOOKING LIKE LIKE THEY GONNA GO,
"MMM... AAH!"
1280
00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:33,021
LIKE IT, BUT THEY ARE NOT.
1281
00:54:33,021 --> 00:54:34,647
IT COMES ON TV.
1282
00:54:34,647 --> 00:54:36,858
NO WARNING
SCREEN,
1283
00:54:36,858 --> 00:54:41,112
LIKE, "HEY, IN BOTH,
YOU MAY LOVE YOURSELF.
1284
00:54:41,112 --> 00:54:45,366
PUT DOWN WHATEVER
YOU HOLD, SERIOUSLY. "
1285
00:54:45,366 --> 00:54:48,077
I'M SITTING THERE,
ABOUT PAPRIKASH EATING,
1286
00:54:48,077 --> 00:54:50,079
AND IT'S HOT, AND I GO -
[punch]
1287
00:54:50,079 --> 00:54:51,497
AND THEN I SEE, AND I GO -
1288
00:54:51,497 --> 00:54:53,541
[scream]
1289
00:54:53,541 --> 00:54:55,877
TEN SECOND LATER,
I LOVE MY BACK LEGS.
1290
00:54:55,877 --> 00:54:59,630
NOW... I WILL BE HONEST,
1291
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:01,465
WHEN HE IS FIRST CLOSED
ON SCREEN,
1292
00:55:01,465 --> 00:55:05,720
I LIKE, "HEY, LADY, YOU & apos; VE
GET SOMETHING ON YOUR SHOULDER.
1293
00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:08,389
"NO, YOU, YOU MUST FIND SOMETHING
ON YOUR SHOULDER."
1294
00:55:08,389 --> 00:55:11,308
BUT THEN, I REALIZED,
"TOMMY, WHY DO YOU GET UPSET?
1295
00:55:11,308 --> 00:55:15,521
YOU LOVED MONSTERS. "
NOW -
1296
00:55:15,521 --> 00:55:18,191
[sighs]
1297
00:55:18,191 --> 00:55:20,235
HERE WHAT CAN BE NOTE
ABOUT THIS SHOW.
1298
00:55:20,235 --> 00:55:22,904
IF YOU'RE GONNA WATER
FREAK FUCKING SHOW,
1299
00:55:22,904 --> 00:55:25,531
WHAT IS IT,
CAN IT?
1300
00:55:25,531 --> 00:55:28,076
CAN YOU PLEASE INCLUDE
THE FREAKY SHIT?
1301
00:55:28,076 --> 00:55:29,410
THAT WHY WE WATCH.
1302
00:55:29,410 --> 00:55:30,912
YOU SHOW THIS SHOW,
1303
00:55:30,912 --> 00:55:32,914
TWO GIRLS WITH
ONE BODY OF FUCKING, TWO HEADS.
1304
00:55:32,914 --> 00:55:35,208
[muttering]
THEY LIKE, WHAT WHAT?
1305
00:55:35,208 --> 00:55:36,792
"YES.
HERE WHAT WE HAVE TO DO.
1306
00:55:36,792 --> 00:55:39,378
" HE MUST GET , WALK,
THE COLLECTION IS MADE.
1307
00:55:39,378 --> 00:55:41,047
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? "
YOU LIKE,
1308
00:55:41,047 --> 00:55:44,175
"HE HAD TWO FUCKING HEADS /> WHERE ONE OF THEM LIKE,
1309
00:55:44,175 --> 00:55:48,345
"I FEEL LIKE
OUT THIS EVENING."
1310
00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:50,306
"GOOD, I FEEL LIKE
STAYING AT HOME."
1311
00:55:50,306 --> 00:55:51,807
"GOOD, I CONTROL THE LEGS.
WE HAVE GO."
1312
00:55:51,807 --> 00:55:53,935
WHERE IS IT?
1313
00:55:53,935 --> 00:55:58,647
WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE ONE OF ONE
EM EM LOVES AND ONE OF & apos; EM HATES?
1314
00:55:58,647 --> 00:56:00,275
THAT HAD HAPPENED.
THEY HAVE CUT SEPARATE.
1315
00:56:02,484 --> 00:56:04,946
"WE'RE GOING TO TONY'S HOUSE."
1316
00:56:04,946 --> 00:56:07,115
"I LOVE HAT TONY . "
1317
00:56:07,115 --> 00:56:08,407
" GOOD, I AM GONNA BLOW HIM,
1318
00:56:08,407 --> 00:56:10,910
"YOU'RE BETTER GETTING READY
FOR BALL ASSIGNMENTS.
1319
00:56:10,910 --> 00:56:12,287
MEH. "
1320
00:56:12,287 --> 00:56:13,746
[laughter]
1321
00:56:13,746 --> 00:56:15,372
I CAN LOVE YOUR COURT.
1322
00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:19,252
[tawa]
1323
00:56:19,252 --> 00:56:21,170
AKU BISA MENYUKAI PENGADILAN ANDA.
1324
00:56:21,170 --> 00:56:24,257
I REFUSED
YOUR COURT IS FULLY.
1325
00:56:24,257 --> 00:56:27,093
FIRST,
EVERYONE LOVES BLOW JOBS.
1326
00:56:27,093 --> 00:56:29,595
SECOND, I DON'T
MAKE THIS SHIT.
1327
00:56:29,595 --> 00:56:32,974
IF YOU SIAMESE TWIN SISTER
IS DOLING OUT BJs,
1328
00:56:32,974 --> 00:56:34,934
YOU ARE ALWAYS FOR RIDE.
1329
00:56:34,934 --> 00:56:37,603
YOU MUST NOT PARTICIPATE,
BUT WE ARE NOW THERE,
1330
00:56:37,603 --> 00:56:39,981
I don't know,
GIVE NOTES, I GUESS.
1331
00:56:39,981 --> 00:56:41,274
"MM, MM, MM.
1332
00:56:41,274 --> 00:56:44,443
" YOU HAVE A HORRIBLE ENGINEERING.
MEH.
1333
00:56:45,694 --> 00:56:49,073
"I CAN SEE YOUR DENTAL.
MEH.
1334
00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:55,621
WHY IS IT DRY?
MEH."
1335
00:56:58,082 --> 00:56:59,416
GOOD,
WE WILL MOVE IT ALONG.
1336
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:01,002
I UNDERSTAND.
1337
00:57:01,002 --> 00:57:05,464
NO EVERYONE OF THE BOARD
WITH DOUBLE-HEADED BJs.
1338
00:57:05,464 --> 00:57:07,258
YOU WILL EVERYONE ADMIT TO ME,
1339
00:57:07,258 --> 00:57:09,385
AND MORE IMPORTANT
FOR YOU,
1340
00:57:09,385 --> 00:57:11,095
THAT YOU WANT TO SEE
1341
00:57:11,095 --> 00:57:16,267
GIRLS WITH TWO HEADS
NOT A SHIT?
1342
00:57:16,267 --> 00:57:18,353
ONLY TO SEE
IF THE MATCH UP, TRUE FACT?
1344
00:57:21,563 --> 00:57:22,982
AND ONE LIKE,
"HEY, TAKE IT EASY.
1345
00:57:22,982 --> 00:57:25,193
IT'S MY TOO, YOU KNOW."
1346
00:57:25,193 --> 00:57:27,236
OH AYOLAH.
1347
00:57:30,739 --> 00:57:35,494
I REALLY WANT
> THAT EVERYTHING AND ANY OF YOU
1348
00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:38,622
CAN SEE
HISTORY OF INTERNET SEARCH.
1349
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:42,251
BECAUSE I THINK YOU WILL BE ALL
SAY THE SAME THING.
1350
00:57:42,251 --> 00:57:43,669
THOUGHT
YOU WILL LIKE,
1351
00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:49,091
"THIS IS ONE SICK, TWISTED,
DEVIANT PERVERT,
1352
00:57:49,091 --> 00:57:53,095
WHO ALSO LOVE
TIME EVENTS THIS. "
1353
00:57:53,095 --> 00:57:57,266
MY HISTORY IS REALLY
VOLLEY BACK AND BACK
1354
00:57:57,266 --> 00:57:59,352
OF, LIKE," BIG, SLOPPY TITS
1355
00:57:59,352 --> 00:58:02,646
RETURNS BACK AND OUT
BY 13 COCKS. "
1356
00:58:02,646 --> 00:58:05,233
" WHAT WILL BE IN SYRIA? "
1357
00:58:07,484 --> 00:58:10,696
I FEEL FULLY ABOUT WATCHING
THAT MUCH IS TOO.
1358
00:58:10,696 --> 00:58:12,656
YOU KNOW WHY?
& Apos; CAUSE IT IS LAZY.
1359
00:58:12,656 --> 00:58:14,867
I KNOW WATCHING
THAT MUCH PORN IS LAZY.
1360
00:58:14,867 --> 00:58:17,412
IT'S GETS IN THE WAY
OTHER THINGS TO WANT TO,
1361
00:58:17,412 --> 00:58:19,872
LIKE STARTING ANOTHER LANGUAGE.
1362
00:58:19,872 --> 00:58:21,498
I LOVE LEARNING
OTHER LANGUAGES,
1363
00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:26,421
BUT THERE ARE
TOO MUCH PORNS TO WATCH.
1364
00:58:26,421 --> 00:58:29,424
WHY DOES NOT COMBINE
TWO, TRUE?
1365
00:58:29,424 --> 00:58:31,092
ALREADY YOU SEE
THIS VIDEO?
1366
00:58:31,092 --> 00:58:32,927
THEY ARE BORING.
1367
00:58:32,927 --> 00:58:36,222
"THE MAN IS SITTING DOWN."
YOU LIKE, "ALL RIGHT . "
1368
00:58:36,222 --> 00:58:38,557
ALREADY YOU SEE
AN ANALYST GANGBANG?
1369
00:58:38,557 --> 00:58:41,436
SUPER EXCITING.
1370
00:58:41,436 --> 00:58:43,020
HERE WHAT I WAIT FOR.
1371
00:58:43,020 --> 00:58:44,355
YOU DOWNLOAD SERIES,
1372
00:58:44,355 --> 00:58:47,733
DAN KEMUDIAN TUTORIAL NOMOR SATU
MULAI BERMAIN.
1373
00:58:47,733 --> 00:58:49,610
WELL?
HERE WHAT HAPPENED.
1374
00:58:49,610 --> 00:58:51,404
ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN.
1375
00:58:51,404 --> 00:58:54,907
A WOMAN GIVES GUY
JOB BLOW, ALL RIGHT?
1376
00:58:54,907 --> 00:58:57,701
LIKE, JOB BLOG AGRESIVE.
1377
00:58:57,701 --> 00:59:00,871
NOT ONE OF THIS, LIKE--
[hums] NO.
1378
00:59:00,871 --> 00:59:03,458
I MEAN, LIKE -
[choke]
1379
00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:06,585
WHERE YOU LIKE,
"JESUS CHRIST!
1380
00:59:06,585 --> 00:59:07,962
" IS AN ANSWER IN THERE?
1381
00:59:07,962 --> 00:59:10,839
WHAT IS WHY DO IT DO IT? "
1382
00:59:10,839 --> 00:59:13,509
AND HE HAD TEARS
WALKING TO FRIENDS
1383
00:59:13,509 --> 00:59:16,178
AND A SMALL AROUND SOMETHING.
1384
00:59:16,178 --> 00:59:19,390
AND HE GOES--
" [choking]
1385
00:59:19,390 --> 00:59:21,434
"HOW IS A SUBWAY?
1386
00:59:21,434 --> 00:59:23,727
[speaking Spanish]
[joke]"
1387
00:59:23,727 --> 00:59:28,107
YOU LIKE,
" NOW IT'S SINKING IN. "
1388
00:59:30,609 --> 00:59:31,860
SOME OF YOU
DO NOT LIKE THAT ONE.
1389
00:59:31,860 --> 00:59:34,363
AKU DAPAT MENGATAKAN DENGAN FACES ANDA.
1390
00:59:34,363 --> 00:59:36,907
MAYBE THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE
MORE ADVANCED
1391
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:40,119
AND YOU ARE READY
FOR TWO TUTORIAL NUMBER.
1392
00:59:41,036 --> 00:59:42,121
IN THIS ONE,
1393
00:59:42,121 --> 00:59:44,873
HUMAN WAS APPLIED WITH WALLS.
1394
00:59:44,873 --> 00:59:47,335
ARMS AND ITS WAYS
DONE,
1395
00:59:47,335 --> 00:59:49,545
AND HE'S REALLY NAKED,
AND YOU LIKE,
1396
00:59:49,545 --> 00:59:53,215
"WHOA.
WHAT HAPPENS HERE?"
1397
00:59:53,215 --> 00:59:55,551
AND THEN, SOME SECOND SENDS,
1398
00:59:55,551 --> 00:59:57,345
A WOMEN ENTERS FRAME,
1399
00:59:57,345 --> 01:00:02,766
AND MY WEEK , I DON'T KNOW,
STRAP-ON 15-INCH.
1400
01:00:02,766 --> 01:00:05,978
HE DOES NOT SAY HELLO
OR TAP HIM ON THE SHOULDER.
1401
01:00:05,978 --> 01:00:08,272
NO WARNING, ONLY BOW!
1402
01:00:08,272 --> 01:00:10,441
YOU LIKE, "HOLY SHIT!"
1403
01:00:10,441 --> 01:00:12,568
AND HE'S JUST GOES
TO TOWN HAMMER.
1404
01:00:12,568 --> 01:00:14,362
HE'S LIKE, "BOW! BOW ! BOW! "
1405
01:00:14,362 --> 01:00:17,573
DAN ANDA SEPERTI,
"APA FUCK?"
1406
01:00:17,573 --> 01:00:21,494
AND THEN, AFTER, LIKE,
THE STROKE, HE GOES,
1407
01:00:21,494 --> 01:00:23,579
"THIS SALAD IS TOO SPICY.
1408
01:00:23,579 --> 01:00:25,914
[speaks Spanish]"
1409
01:00:27,708 --> 01:00:31,337
AND YOU LIKE,
"I LEARN SPANISH LANGUAGE.
1410
01:00:31,337 --> 01:00:36,133
CAN SOMEONE PASS ME
KLEENEX?"
1411
01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:42,139
[sighs]
1412
01:00:42,139 --> 01:00:44,225
MM.
1413
01:00:45,934 --> 01:00:48,187
I HAVE MARRIED.
1414
01:00:49,771 --> 01:00:52,858
YOU LIKE THE ONE?
1415
01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:54,818
I like LOOKING.
I do
1416
01:00:54,818 --> 01:00:57,196
YOU SEE MANY COMICS, YOU GO
TO SHOW, AND THEY WILL LIKE,
1417
01:00:57,196 --> 01:00:58,947
"I LOVE GETTING
OUT HOUSE,
1418
01:00:58,947 --> 01:01:00,699
I CAN ONLY GET AWAY
FROM IT BITCH. "
1419
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:02,326
AND YOU LIKE,
" WOW, SOUNDS LIKE YOU MARRY
1420
01:01:02,326 --> 01:01:05,037
A REAL FUCKING ASSHOLE, MAN.
It's AWESOME. "
1421
01:01:05,037 --> 01:01:06,539
I LOVE IT.
1422
01:01:06,539 --> 01:01:07,789
ANDA TAHU APA BAGIAN TERBAIK
MENINGGALKAN?
1423
01:01:07,789 --> 01:01:10,834
YOU GET STOP PRETENDING.
1424
01:01:10,834 --> 01:01:12,587
AND THAT'S WHAT
FUCKING DATING IS.
1425
01:01:12,587 --> 01:01:14,880
IT & apos; S AN ACT.
You are on BROADWAY.
1426
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:17,633
FOR YOUR LONG DATING BUT,
YOU DO ACT,
1427
01:01:17,633 --> 01:01:20,428
AND IT IS LOOKING FOR EXHAUSTING.
1428
01:01:20,428 --> 01:01:22,763
THAT WHY IF YOU WALK AND
YOU NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE THE PUBLIC,
1429
01:01:22,763 --> 01:01:24,765
AND YOU SEE PEOPLE WHO ARE INTERESTED
LOOK AT YOU LIKE THIS,
1430
01:01:24,765 --> 01:01:27,059
AND YOU LIKE, "WHAT'S FUCK
DO THEY LOOK?"
1431
01:01:27,059 --> 01:01:29,770
THEY ARE DONE FOR YOU.
1432
01:01:31,272 --> 01:01:32,689
THIS--
IT & S; S AN ACT,
1433
01:01:32,689 --> 01:01:34,483
AND IT IS EXHAUST--
YOU LOOK AT IT ALL -
1434
01:01:34,483 --> 01:01:35,817
DATING IS GUY GOING,
1435
01:01:35,817 --> 01:01:38,446
"UH, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
I'M A GUY."
1436
01:01:38,446 --> 01:01:42,199
AND LIKE A GIRL, " GOOD, ONLY
YOU KNOW, I AM THIS GIRL. "
1437
01:01:42,199 --> 01:01:43,659
AND THEN YOU GET MARRIED,
AND YOU LIKE,
1438
01:01:43,659 --> 01:01:47,204
"UH, SO CAN WE KNOCK
THIS SHIT IS NOT HERE?"
1439
01:01:47,204 --> 01:01:48,414
AND HE GOES, "I EXPECT,
1440
01:01:48,414 --> 01:01:53,335
" BECAUSE I AM GOTTA FART
/> ENOUGH BAD.
1441
01:01:53,335 --> 01:01:56,713
WILL WILL BE FART
FOR, LIKE, FOUR YEARS. "
1442
01:01:56,713 --> 01:02:01,510
" GOOD.
GETTING FART OUT. "
1443
01:02:01,510 --> 01:02:04,597
SEXUALLY LIBERATING
MARRIED.
1444
01:02:04,597 --> 01:02:06,223
IT IS, REALLY IS.
1445
01:02:06,223 --> 01:02:07,808
ESPECIALLY FOR MEN,
& apos; CAUSE IN HERE WHAT HAPPENED.
1446
01:02:07,808 --> 01:02:09,602
WHEN YOU START WITH SOMEONE,
YOU KNOW,
1447
01:02:09,602 --> 01:02:11,520
YOUR FIRST THING,
ALL RIGHT, YOU SEE THE GIRL,
1448
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,355
AND YOU LIKE,
"I WANT TO GET THERE."
1450
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:18,653
[laughter]
1451
01:02:18,653 --> 01:02:21,405
RIGHT, AND THEN,
YOU GO ON SOME DATE,
1452
01:02:21,405 --> 01:02:25,033
AND AS YOU GET THE CLOSER TO THE TOP
ACT - THE MAGICAL ACT HAPPENING,
1453
01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:26,619
MUCH TIME WOMEN
WILL HAVE A GUY.
1454
01:02:26,619 --> 01:02:28,745
HE WOULD LIKE, "OH, LIKE, LIKE,
What are you doing
1455
01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:30,038
WHAT ARE YOU LIKE? "
1456
01:02:30,038 --> 01:02:32,625
AND THIS IS
WHEN THE HUMAN ACTION,
1457
01:02:32,625 --> 01:02:37,087
" DO NOT LOVE.
1458
01:02:37,087 --> 01:02:39,715
YOU CAN FUCK THIS UP
FOR WE. "
1459
01:02:39,715 --> 01:02:42,426
SO WE HOPE TO YOU, AND WE
LIKE," OH, I WANT TO HAVE A HAND.
1460
01:02:42,426 --> 01:02:45,638
"UH, I LIKE IF YOU GO...
[punch]
1461
01:02:45,638 --> 01:02:48,474
ON MY SKIN.
IT'S COOL. "
1462
01:02:48,474 --> 01:02:50,685
THEN YOU GET MARRIED,
AND YOU LIKE,
1463
01:02:50,685 --> 01:02:53,604
" I WANT YOU TO GO
ON MY BALL BAG
1464
01:02:53,604 --> 01:02:55,772
"LIKE YOU WALK ON THE SEA
1465
01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:59,193
AND THIS ONLY MOTORS
THAT GONNA TAKES YOU HOME. "
1466
01:02:59,193 --> 01:03:02,112
[laughter and applause]
1467
01:03:04,406 --> 01:03:07,743
BANYAK GIRLFRIENDS
TIDAK BISA MENANGANI BAHWA SHIT.
1468
01:03:07,743 --> 01:03:09,578
GIRLFRIENDS WILL LIKE,
"UGH, WHAT?"
1469
01:03:09,578 --> 01:03:10,871
BUT WIFE?
1470
01:03:10,871 --> 01:03:14,500
WIFE WILL GO, "IS IT?"
1471
01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:16,502
AND YOU LIKE, "OH, YEAH,
I GET YOU LIKE, 50 YEARS."
1472
01:03:16,502 --> 01:03:18,170
HE LIKE, "YEAH,
I SEE THE BUTTER IN YOUR HELP.
1473
01:03:18,170 --> 01:03:20,506
WHAT YOU WANT, MAN. "
1474
01:03:24,385 --> 01:03:25,802
OR PRIVATE.
MARGARINE, I DON'T KNOW.
1475
01:03:25,802 --> 01:03:30,558
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO, SO--
OLIVE OIL.
1476
01:03:30,558 --> 01:03:33,394
YOU FIND, THE LONGER
YOU ARE WITH SOMEONE,
1477
01:03:33,394 --> 01:03:35,563
YOU LIKE,
EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING.
1478
01:03:35,563 --> 01:03:39,734
EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING WEIRD
AND KINKY AND DIFFERENT.
1479
01:03:39,734 --> 01:03:41,985
EVERYB - AND YOU REPRESENT THAT,
AND YOU GO, LIKE, "OH, MY GOD.
1480
01:03:41,985 --> 01:03:45,072
"IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING -
YES GOD.
1481
01:03:45,072 --> 01:03:46,782
I WILL HAVE DIE
IF SOMETHING KNOWS. "
1482
01:03:46,782 --> 01:03:47,991
EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING.
1483
01:03:47,991 --> 01:03:49,368
AND YOU LIKE,
"NO, NOT EVERYONE.
1484
01:03:49,368 --> 01:03:51,579
WHAT ABOUT JIM?
HE BECOME A BLAZER."
1485
01:03:51,579 --> 01:03:54,331
JIM TOO.
1486
01:03:54,331 --> 01:03:57,793
JIM HAS A HIT IN NUTS
WITH WRITING, OK?
1487
01:03:57,793 --> 01:04:00,921
JIM FROM THE FUCKING THOUGHT.
1488
01:04:03,799 --> 01:04:05,300
I LOVE COUNTRY.
1489
01:04:05,300 --> 01:04:07,052
I ASK FOR PEOPLE ALL IT -
I hear it
1490
01:04:07,052 --> 01:04:08,970
YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SH -
I am in a SHOW.
1491
01:04:08,970 --> 01:04:10,681
I ASK FOR PEOPLE IN AUD -
LIKE,
1492
01:04:10,681 --> 01:04:11,932
"WHAT ARE YOU THOUGHT
WORST THINGS?"
1493
01:04:11,932 --> 01:04:13,350
AND A LADY IN LOW AHEAD,
1494
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:14,893
HE GOES, "I HAVE ONE."
AND I GO, "IS IT?"
1495
01:04:14,893 --> 01:04:17,062
AND HE GOES,
"OH YES . "
1496
01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:18,855
[laughter]
1497
01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:20,899
I GO," IS IT? "
AND HE GOES," ALL RIGHT.
1498
01:04:20,899 --> 01:04:23,360
"I want to think
DIFFERENT SCENARIOS
1499
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:25,237
TO KILL MY MILK."
1500
01:04:25,237 --> 01:04:27,364
AND I LIKE, "DAMN."
1501
01:04:27,364 --> 01:04:28,865
AND HE THE SITTING IS TRUE,
AND HE'S LIKE,
1502
01:04:28,865 --> 01:04:31,577
"IT WAS THAT.
THAT HE WAS RELATED."
1503
01:04:33,746 --> 01:04:35,623
I LIKE, "REALLY? "
AND HE'S LIKE," OH, YEAH. "
1504
01:04:35,623 --> 01:04:36,957
I GO,
" YOU GO, & Apos; I'M SUPER HORNY.
1505
01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:38,250
"& apos; I'M ALREADY THE BEST DREAM
1506
01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:39,794
"> THAT YOU WALK
IN THE POOL,
1507
01:04:39,794 --> 01:04:42,463
AND THEN I HAVE A CEMENT BLOCK
IN YOUR HEAD. & Apos;"
1508
01:04:42,463 --> 01:04:46,007
AND HE GOES,
"THAT WILL LOVE IT."
1509
01:04:46,007 --> 01:04:48,761
SHOW SAME, I LOVE YOU,
A LADY GOES, "I HAVE ONE."
1510
01:04:48,761 --> 01:04:50,304
AND I GO, "IS IT?"
1511
01:04:50,304 --> 01:04:53,724
AND HE GOES, "I LOVE SIT
ABOUT MY FACE."
1512
01:04:53,724 --> 01:04:55,517
AND I GO,
"IT'S NOT UNIQUE.
1513
01:04:55,517 --> 01:04:57,853
YOU CANNOT REPRESENT CLAIMS THAT
IT IS THIS."
1514
01:04:57,853 --> 01:05:00,606
AND HE GOES, "YEAH, BUT I JUST
LIKE FEELING HIS EYELASHES
1515
01:05:00,606 --> 01:05:01,940
AGAINST BUTT CHEEKS."
1516
01:05:01,940 --> 01:05:03,942
AND I LIKE, "WHAT?"
1517
01:05:03,942 --> 01:05:05,444
[ laughter]
1518
01:05:05,444 --> 01:05:09,824
AND HE GOES, "MM-HMM."
1519
01:05:09,824 --> 01:05:10,949
AND I LIKE, "I DON'T EVEN
KNOW IT IS THINGS."
1520
01:05:10,949 --> 01:05:12,200
AND HE LIKE, "OH, YEAH."
1521
01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:15,412
LIKE, "WHERE ARE FUCK
Have you?"
1522
01:05:15,412 --> 01:05:17,581
AND I LIKE, "WHAT IF HE, LIKE, < br> YOU KNOW, CREATE LICK,
1523
01:05:17,581 --> 01:05:18,707
LIKE, AH-AH, LIKE IT? "
1524
01:05:18,707 --> 01:05:21,710
AND HE GOES," I GO, & apos; NO! & apos;
1525
01:05:21,710 --> 01:05:24,797
I JUST WANT TO FEEL
SQUINK-SQUINK-SQUINK. "
1526
01:05:29,259 --> 01:05:33,681
SO STOP FEELING WEIRD AND SIT
ABOUT PEOPLE'S LIFE, ALL RIGHT?
1527
01:05:33,681 --> 01:05:37,976
IT WAS WHAT I WANT YOU
TO STAY HERE WITH.
1528
01:05:37,976 --> 01:05:42,898
GUYS, WE ARE CLOSED
MANY TONIGHT STUFFS.
1529
01:05:42,898 --> 01:05:45,066
WE REALLY HAVE .
1530
01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:47,611
SOME OF YOU MAY, YOU KNOW,
DO NOT THINK IT IS VERY MY.
1531
01:05:47,611 --> 01:05:48,863
I don't know,
SOME OF YOU MAY LIKE,
1532
01:05:48,863 --> 01:05:50,364
"FORM OF THIS FUCKING GUY."
1533
01:05:50,364 --> 01:05:52,032
SOME OF YOU MAY THINK
I DECLARE.
1534
01:05:52,032 --> 01:05:53,575
SOME OF YOU MAY THINK
I AM NOT BORN.
1535
01:05:53,575 --> 01:05:55,786
I don't know
BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS.
1536
01:05:55,786 --> 01:05:59,331
I BELIEVE IN HUMANITY.
I do
1537
01:05:59,331 --> 01:06:01,667
I BELIEVE
WE ARE ALL IN HERE SIMPLE,
1538
01:06:01,667 --> 01:06:04,252
AND I BELIEVE THERE
THERE IS NO LIKE COINCIDENCE.
1539
01:06:04,252 --> 01:06:07,673
AND I THOUGHT
I CAN SAY YOUR STORY
1540
01:06:07,673 --> 01:06:10,175
YANG AKAN JUGA MEMBUAT ANDA
PERCAYA INI, SEMUA KANAN?
1541
01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:13,345
SEVERAL YEARS,
I'M IN WASHINGTON DC,
1542
01:06:13,345 --> 01:06:16,557
AND I SHARE CAB
WITH WOMEN I DON'T KNOW.
1543
01:06:16,557 --> 01:06:19,142
NEVER EVER SHOW BEFORE IN MY LIFE.
WE LOOK AT THE CAB.
1545
01:06:22,646 --> 01:06:23,772
I HEAR WOMEN GO,
1546
01:06:23,772 --> 01:06:25,816
"HEY."
1547
01:06:25,816 --> 01:06:27,275
AND I THOUGHT
HE BECOME GONNA LIKE,
1548
01:06:27,275 --> 01:06:29,862
"HEY, LIKE, YOU WANT FUCK
OR SOMETHING?"
1549
01:06:29,862 --> 01:06:31,363
AND I GONNA LIKE,
"I CANNOT.
1550
01:06:31,363 --> 01:06:34,032
I'VE MARRIED.
SO MAKE IT FAST, ALL RIGHT? "
1551
01:06:36,911 --> 01:06:38,412
I SEE OVER, I LIKE,
" WHAT IS IT? "
1552
01:06:38,412 --> 01:06:40,539
AND HE GOES, "ARE YOU THIS?"
1553
01:06:40,539 --> 01:06:41,998
AND HE HAVE A WALLET.
1554
01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:43,834
AND I GO, "NO, IT'S NOT MY."
1555
01:06:43,834 --> 01:06:46,127
AND HE GOES, "OH, IT MUST BE
THE PREVIOUS WALLET RIDER.
1556
01:06:46,127 --> 01:06:47,546
AKU HANYA MEMBERIKANNYA
KE DRIVER. "
1557
01:06:47,546 --> 01:06:50,507
AND I GO, "DON'T DO IT.
SEE HIM.
1558
01:06:50,507 --> 01:06:54,135
" HE'S LOOKING LIKE A CAB DRIVER.
1559
01:06:54,135 --> 01:06:56,054
"HE MAY BE SMOKING CRACK
ONCE -ONCE.
1560
01:06:56,054 --> 01:06:58,766
YOU CANNOT TRY THEM. "
1561
01:06:58,766 --> 01:07:00,350
I GO," GIVE IT TO ME.
1562
01:07:00,350 --> 01:07:01,810
I WILL GET BACK TO
TO THE OWNER THE TRUE. "
1563
01:07:01,810 --> 01:07:04,145
AND HE GOES," REALLY? "
I GO," YEAH. "
1564
01:07:04,145 --> 01:07:05,439
HE GIVES ME WALLET.
1565
01:07:05,439 --> 01:07:08,233
NOW, I FEEL GIVEN
TO FIND OWNERS.
1566
01:07:08,233 --> 01:07:11,027
BUT HERE IS HONEST-FOR-GOD
TRUTH, I REALLY WANT.
1567
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:13,363
I ALWAYS DREAMED
ABOUT FINDING THE WALLET.
1568
01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:14,573
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
1569
01:07:14,573 --> 01:07:16,366
I DREAMS
I WILL FIND WALLET,
1570
01:07:16,366 --> 01:07:18,535
I WILL OPEN IT ,
IT WILL HAVE $ 1,000 IN IT,
1572
01:07:20,328 --> 01:07:22,080
IT WILL TURN,
LIKE, GOING TO SMITH,
1573
01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:23,749
AND THEN LIKE,
"DO YOU WANT HELICOPTER?"
1574
01:07:23,749 --> 01:07:25,459
AND I LOVE, " YEAH. "
1575
01:07:25,459 --> 01:07:27,335
AND THEN I LIKE,
" I HAVE A FAMILY IN DENVER.
1576
01:07:27,335 --> 01:07:30,380
ARE YOU LIKE A FURNITURE? "
1577
01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:33,801
I OPEN A WALLET THIS.
1578
01:07:33,801 --> 01:07:37,888
IT HAS $ 2,
GREWER REWARDS STORE,
1579
01:07:37,888 --> 01:07:40,181
AND COMMUNITY ID COLLECTION
1580
01:07:40,181 --> 01:07:44,853
I HAVE BEEN FOUND
WILL NOT WANET SMITH.
1581
01:07:44,853 --> 01:07:46,814
BUT I STILL TRY
TO DO THE RIGHT THING.
1582
01:07:46,814 --> 01:07:49,608
I GIVE A GROSERY STORE,
I EXPLAIN THE SITUATION,
1583
01:07:49,608 --> 01:07:51,109
AND I GO,
"CAN YOU HELP ME?"
1584
01:07:51,109 --> 01:07:55,363
AND THEY GO,
"NO, WE ARE A GROSERY STORE.
1585
01:07:55,363 --> 01:07:57,532
" WE DO NOT TRACK PEOPLE DOWN.
1586
01:07:57,532 --> 01:08:01,244
EGGS FOR SALE.
GOING YOURSELF FUCK. "
1587
01:08:01,244 --> 01:08:02,496
AND I LIKE, "COOL.
1588
01:08:02,496 --> 01:08:04,456
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR HELP."
1589
01:08:04,456 --> 01:08:06,416
THEN, I CALL YOU
THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE,
1590
01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:08,794
AND I SPEAK
FOR EVERY EVERY DEPARTMENT
1591
01:08:08,794 --> 01:08:11,129
IN THE COMMUNITY COLLECTION
FOR 4 1/2 HOURS,
1592
01:08:11,129 --> 01:08:13,423
BEFORE I WILL GET
CONTACT NUMBER.
1593
01:08:13,423 --> 01:08:16,593
I CALL NUMBER,
AND MAN AN ANSWERED PHONE
1594
01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:20,388
WHO CAN I JUST IMAGINE
HAVE NEVER USED A PHONE BEFORE,
1595
01:08:20,388 --> 01:08:24,434
& apos; CAUSES WILL BE ACTUAL ANSWERS
TELEPHONE WITH NOISE.
1596
01:08:24,434 --> 01:08:26,020
SO ONLY TO BREAK
THIS IS A SHIT DOWN,
1597
01:08:26,020 --> 01:08:27,896
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NEVER EVER
USED THE PHONE BEFORE,
1598
01:08:27,896 --> 01:08:29,648
BUT USUALLY,
WHEN YOU HAVE SOMEONE,
1599
01:08:29,648 --> 01:08:31,025
[imitating the telephone ringing]
AND THEY PICK IT UP,
1600
01:08:31,025 --> 01:08:33,027
MEREKA MENGATAKAN, "HELLO."
1601
01:08:33,027 --> 01:08:34,695
IT HAS IT.
1602
01:08:34,695 --> 01:08:36,112
IT'S THE PEOPLE WHO SAY
WHEN THEY ANSWER THE PHONE.
1603
01:08:36,112 --> 01:08:38,323
MAYBE IF THEY'RE
IN A BAD MOOD, "WHAT?" / p>
1604
01:08:38,323 --> 01:08:40,075
THEY ARE TWO CHOICES.
1605
01:08:40,075 --> 01:08:42,410
THIS IS A MAN OF PHONE ANSWERS...
[imitating the telephone ringing]
1606
01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:43,620
CHOOSE IT, AND HE GOES,
1607
01:08:43,620 --> 01:08:45,789
"AH."
1608
01:08:47,624 --> 01:08:51,545
AND I GO, "HELLO?"
AND HE GOES, "WAH."
1609
01:08:51,545 --> 01:08:54,923
AND I GO, "I GONNA TALK,
AND THEN YOU SPEAK. "
1610
01:08:54,923 --> 01:08:57,843
And he goes," YEAH. "
1611
01:08:57,843 --> 01:08:59,970
LIKE, IT IS THE FIRST TIME
SOMEONE EXPLAINS HIM
1612
01:08:59,970 --> 01:09:02,764
HOW TO HAVE A CALL PHONE CALL.
1613
01:09:02,764 --> 01:09:05,059
UNTIL THE POINT IS, HE'S
JUST LIKE, "IT MAKES NOISE.
1614
01:09:05,059 --> 01:09:06,476
" I GONNA MAKE NOISE TOO.
1615
01:09:06,476 --> 01:09:09,604
p>
1616
01:09:09,604 --> 01:09:11,523
AH. "
1617
01:09:11,523 --> 01:09:14,026
"I PROVIDE YOUR NUMBER
TRY TO RETURN WALLET."
1618
01:09:14,026 --> 01:09:17,237
AND HE SAYS,
"IT MAYBE MY MY WALLET.
1619
01:09:17,237 --> 01:09:19,114
" HE ALWAYS LEAVE SHIT
1620
01:09:19,114 --> 01:09:23,201
BECAUSE he is a SHIT student. "
1621
01:09:23,201 --> 01:09:25,245
IT IS THE FIRST THING - I DON'T
EVEN KNOW HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE
1622
01:09:25,245 --> 01:09:26,747
I LOVE," AH. "
1623
01:09:26,747 --> 01:09:29,750
I GO," GOOD , CAN I GIVE IT
HIS SHIT BACK? "
1624
01:09:29,750 --> 01:09:31,543
HE WAS GOING,
" HE'S A REAL ASSHOLE. "
1625
01:09:31,543 --> 01:09:35,005
AND I GO," WE SPEAK
ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN RIGHT NOW? " "
1626
01:09:35,005 --> 01:09:36,339
AND HE GOES,
" YEAH, I DON'T THINK
1627
01:09:36,339 --> 01:09:37,465
HE GONNA AMOUNT
FOR ANYTHING. "
1628
01:09:37,465 --> 01:09:39,259
I GO," JESUS CHRIST. "
1629
01:09:39,259 --> 01:09:41,803
I GO," MAYBE HE WOULD BE AMOUNT
FOR SOMETHING
1630
01:09:41,803 --> 01:09:44,932
IF HE GETS THE RETURN. "
1631
01:09:46,058 --> 01:09:47,392
AND HE GOES, "YEAH, YEAH.
1632
01:09:47,392 --> 01:09:49,477
I KNOW YOU KNOW."
1633
01:09:49,477 --> 01:09:51,855
AND HE HANGS UP PHONE
1634
01:09:51,855 --> 01:09:54,608
WITHOUT TAKING MY INFORMATION
1635
01:09:54,608 --> 01:09:57,069
SO THE PLAN IS TO GO TO MY CHILDREN
AND LIKE,
1636
01:09:57,069 --> 01:09:59,113
"SOME GUY FOUND YOUR WALLET.
1637
01:09:59,113 --> 01:10:00,447
YEAH, I DON'T THINK THAT,"
1638
01:10:00,447 --> 01:10:03,199
AND ONLY, LIKE, WALKING AWAY.
1639
01:10:03,199 --> 01:10:04,576
SO I am SUPER FRUSTRATED.
1640
01:10:04,576 --> 01:10:06,244
I SEE THE TRUE THING,
RIGHT?
1641
01:10:06,244 --> 01:10:07,788
I FORGET ABOUT WALLET.
1642
01:10:07,788 --> 01:10:10,624
YEAR GOES BY.
YEAR, CALENDAR YEAR.
1643
01:10:10,624 --> 01:10:12,500
I RETURN TO DC
1644
01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:16,088
I GO IN THE CITY, I CALL THE FRIENDS,
WE GO TO RESTAURANT,
1645
01:10:16,088 --> 01:10:17,756
ONLY RANDOM RESTAURANT.
1646
01:10:17,756 --> 01:10:21,342
WE SIT DOWN, AND WAITER
COME TO TAKE OUR ORDERS,
1647
01:10:21,342 --> 01:10:24,304
AND I GO, "JUSTIN?"
1648
01:10:24,304 --> 01:10:25,931
AND HE GOES,
"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"
1649
01:10:25,931 --> 01:10:29,768
AND I GO,
"DUDE, I HAVE YOUR WALLET."
1650
01:10:29,768 --> 01:10:31,603
AND HE GOES,
"OH, DO YOU HAVE YOU?"
1651
01:10:31,603 --> 01:10:34,522
I GO, "NO, I DON'T WALK
WALK ON IT WITH YOUR WALLET.
1652
01:10:34,522 --> 01:10:38,276
"I'M NOT GOING, & apos; I HAVE MY WALLET,
AND I GOT JUSTIN & apos; S WALLET.
1653
01:10:38,276 --> 01:10:40,946
NOW, I'M READY TO GO OUT. os
NO, YOU HAVE PSIKO. "
1654
01:10:42,656 --> 01:10:45,325
AND HE GOES," DO YOU WANT
TO LISTEN TO TODAY? "
1655
01:10:45,325 --> 01:10:46,994
AND I GO,
" DO YOU WANT TO RECOGNIZE
1656
01:10:46,994 --> 01:10:50,747
THAT THIS IS AN AMAZING FUTURE
IN BOTH OUR LIVES? "
1657
01:10:50,747 --> 01:10:52,124
AND HE GOES,
" WHAT DO YOU MEAN? "
1658
01:10:52,124 --> 01:10:53,625
" WHAT DO I MEAN?
1659
01:10:53,625 --> 01:10:58,088
"AKU MENEMUKAN WALLET ANDA DI CAB
DI D. SATU TAHUN.
1660
01:10:58,088 --> 01:11:01,091
"I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY CABLES
HERE, BUT I THINK IT WAS MANY.
1661
01:11:01,091 --> 01:11:04,552
" I HAVE TO TELL NO 100 TIMES BY
100 PEOPLE TRY TO FIND YOU.
1662
01:11:04,552 --> 01:11:07,848
"MY HOTEL ROOM IS USED TO SEE AS
NCIS EPISODE.
1663
01:11:07,848 --> 01:11:12,519
" THERE IS A PIN AND CHARTS
CONTACTING ANY OTHER SHIT.
1664
01:11:12,519 --> 01:11:14,395
"I SPEAK WITH YOUR FATHER,
WHO IS NOT FAN.
1665
01:11:14,395 --> 01:11:16,481
" I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU KNOW THAT OR NOT.
1666
01:11:16,481 --> 01:11:19,234
"I COME TO THE RESTAURANT
RETURN,
1667
01:11:19,234 --> 01:11:21,236
" I CAN SEE AT YOUR PART,
1668
01:11:21,236 --> 01:11:23,197
"AND I RECOGNIZE YOU
FROM YOU ID
1669
01:11:23,197 --> 01:11:25,281
"IT IS BURNED TO MY MEMORY.
1670
01:11:25,281 --> 01:11:28,076
YOU DON'T THINK
IT IS LIKING AMAZING? "
1671
01:11:28,076 --> 01:11:29,828
AND HE GOES,
" WE HAVE A SPECIAL PERSONAL RIB.
1672
01:11:29,828 --> 01:11:31,872
WE ALSO HAVE A PENNE PENTA. "
1673
01:11:31,872 --> 01:11:33,874
I COULDN'T EAT
I LIKE, "WHAT'S FUCK?"
1674
01:11:33,874 --> 01:11:35,375
HE comes, I go,
1675
01:11:35,375 --> 01:11:37,127
"LOOK, I DO NOT WANT
TO MAKE BIG THINGS HERE,
1676
01:11:37,127 --> 01:11:39,546
"BUT I REMEMBER THAT I HAVE
YOUR WALLET IN MY BAG -
1677
01:11:39,546 --> 01:11:41,131
" MY BAG IN MY HOTEL ROOM.
1678
01:11:41,131 --> 01:11:42,590
IF YOU WANT TO COME BY,
I WILL GIVE YOUR WALLET. "
1679
01:11:42,590 --> 01:11:44,134
AND HE GOES," OK. "
1680
01:11:44,134 --> 01:11:47,054
I RETURN TO THE HOTEL.
I HEAR THE KNOCK AT THE DOOR.
1681
01:11:47,054 --> 01:11:49,973
AND NOW, I APPRECIATE HER
TO LOVE THE SITE.
1682
01:11:49,973 --> 01:11:53,227
I THINK THE SITUATION
THE FUCK OUT OF THE FREAKING MERITS.
1683
01:11:53,227 --> 01:11:55,062
I THINK HE PLAYS IT COOL,
AND NOW HE'S GONNA LIKE,
1684
01:11:55,062 --> 01:11:56,813
"I DO NOT WANT
TO SAY THIS EARLIER.
1685
01:11:56,813 --> 01:12:01,401
KAMI HARUS MEMBUKA TOKO SURF
DI MAUI BERSAMA, ANDA TAHU? "
1686
01:12:01,401 --> 01:12:02,777
OR, LIKE,
"THIS IS MY SON.
1687
01:12:02,777 --> 01:12:06,698
I WANT TO HAVE IT,"
LIKE IT'S A SHIT.
1688
01:12:06,698 --> 01:12:08,324
So, I hear a button at the door.
1689
01:12:08,324 --> 01:12:09,659
I OPEN THE DOOR,
I LOVE, "HEY."
1690
01:12:09,659 --> 01:12:11,078
AND HE GOES,
"HEY, YOU HAVE MY WALLET?"
1691
01:12:11,078 --> 01:12:13,038
AND I GO, "YEAH,"
AND I GIVE IT TO HIM,
1692
01:12:13,038 --> 01:12:14,581
AND HE GOES, "COOL."
1693
01:12:14,581 --> 01:12:17,042
AND HE TURNS AROUND ,
AND HE WAS WALKING.
1694
01:12:17,042 --> 01:12:20,087
NO.
1695
01:12:20,087 --> 01:12:21,796
IT WAS NOT COOL.
1696
01:12:21,796 --> 01:12:23,215
SO I OPEN THE DOOR,
1697
01:12:23,215 --> 01:12:24,758
AND I SEE HER
ABOUT GETTING ELEVATOR.
1698
01:12:24,758 --> 01:12:26,760
I GO, "HEY, JUSTIN!"
And he goes, "YEAH."
1699
01:12:26,760 --> 01:12:29,596
AND I GO, " YOUR DAY IS RIGHT -
YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE FUCKING,
1700
01:12:29,596 --> 01:12:31,223
AND YOU NEVER GONNA
NUMBER OF ANYTHING, "
1701
01:12:31,223 --> 01:12:33,600
AND I CLOSE THE DOOR WALKING.
1702
01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:35,977
[applause]
1703
01:12:35,977 --> 01:12:38,230
YOU HAVE, JUSTIN.
YOU CAN HAVE TO HERE, MAN.
1704
01:12:38,230 --> 01:12:39,397
THANK YOU.
YOU ARE AMAZING.
1706
01:12:41,524 --> 01:12:43,777
THANK YOU MUCH.
1707
01:12:43,777 --> 01:12:45,946
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