1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:01:03,061


2
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,703
- GUY: <i>I'm not that good</i>
- AT A M: <i>Of stuff.</i>

3
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:10,280
Especially thinking
things through.

4
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,418
And that's why this
plan was so shitty.

5
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:25,092
But my feelings were hurt, and I'm glad
I at least did something about it.

6
00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:31,997
Making bad decisions
is nothing new to me.

7
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:36,200
After all, I live alone at 40,

8
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:40,602
and I make my living
proofreading product warranties.

9
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,111
A few weeks ago, I took
a break from that,

10
00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:46,080
however, so I could
do this whole thing.

11
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,216
And it's pretty ironic
that what I did

12
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,550
was exactly what a
child would do.

13
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:55,492
I threw a tantrum just
to get attention.

14
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,790
BILL: You must be really proud.

15
00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,488
I know I am.

16
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,661
And excited.

17
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,467
Meet "The Big Man," right?

18
00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:10,634
But proud either way, of course.

19
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:13,640
(AM SWANS)

20
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,975
Aren't they amazing? Which one's yours?
Mine's...

21
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:17,139
Buddy, no' thank you.

22
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,340
What's that?

23
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:21,578
This chat. I'm all set. I'm just trying
to get some food in my face before

24
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,145
I get stuck up on
that stage, okay?

25
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,590
Right. My bad. You must
be our host for today.

26
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,822
No, I'm not.

27
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:32,260
I'm the winner.

28
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,031
IRENE: Everyone, it's
time for the 15th.

29
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,533
Annual Regional
Spelling Bee to begin.

30
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:40,264
Take your seats, please. All
of our noble contestants.

31
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:43,308
Please take your seats up on the stage.
Hurry, hurry!

32
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:44,936
We're on schedule.

33
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:55,613
I love the way the hush just comes over
the crowd before we start. Here we go.

34
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:58,320
(IRENE CONTINUES CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

35
00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:05,627
What are you doing on
the stage, weirdo?

36
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,167
Your chair called me for help.

37
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,997
(WHISPERING) It was saying, "Help me.
It's so heavy."

38
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,478
You didn't hear it? I heard it.

39
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,341
(CHUCKLES)
I'm sorry, sir.

40
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,816
Those seats are for
the competitors only.

41
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,015
Great. I'm in the right spot.

42
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,579
(LAUGHS)

43
00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:36,084
Mr. Trilby, I won't allow it.

44
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:39,721
You're not eligible in any
fashion, way, shape or manner.

45
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:40,855
Page 39

46
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,094
of the Golden Quill National
Spelling Bee rulebook.

47
00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:47,669
This is rule number 24. This is
sub-point B. This is a quote.

48
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:50,567
"The speller must not have
passed beyond the 8th grade"

49
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,235
"on or before
February 1st, 2011."

50
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,177
That is a rule written by
the governing institute.

51
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,512
And if you want, you can
continue to ogle my transcript,

52
00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,949
just please don't
wrinkle it any further.

53
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,678
But you can see
there, unfortunately,

54
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,345
I have not passed the 8th grade

55
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,913
on or before February 1st.
Not ever.

56
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,013
That may be, but...

57
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,219
But, sir, I can go on. I
can go on and on and on.

58
00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:11,091
There are 83 paragraphs,

59
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,959
581 lines of rules
in the rulebook,

60
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:15,590
but lei me assure you, I'm compliant
with every single one of them.

61
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,930
The spelling bee
is meant for kids.

62
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:22,029
Not adults that couldn't
even graduate the 8th grade.

63
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,267
Oh, boy.

64
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:25,240
Are we past the rules and
into the insults now?

65
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:26,810
Is it insult time? I'm
sorry, but you're an adult.

66
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:27,940
Because your potholder vest

67
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,811
is about to take heavy fire.
Are you ready for that'?

68
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:33,373
You know what? Enough. This
is all just a moot point.

69
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,784
Every contestant
must be sponsored

70
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,253
by a nationally-recognized
news service.

71
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:39,483
The end. Mmm, I understand.

72
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:40,956
That doesn't end
the conversation.

73
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:42,549
- Guess what?
- JENNY: Hello.

74
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,323
Perfect timing.
What's going on here?

75
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:45,418
Who is this?

76
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:48,295
This is my sponsor from a
nationally-recognized news service.

77
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,890
Jenny Widgeon. The
Click and Scroll.

78
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:50,957
The what?

79
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:52,593
What's that? Is that
something on the computer?

80
00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:53,699
Yes, we're an online paper.

81
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,003
Said differently, a
nationally-recognized news service.

82
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,404
They don't want to
let me participate.

83
00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:58,565
(SIGHS)

84
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,407
Go ahead. Set it in motion.
I love your vest.

85
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,502
He's an adult.

86
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:02,602
JENNY: In about a half an hour,

87
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:04,478
you're gonna be receiving a
temporary restraining order

88
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:07,142
and a preliminary injunction
prohibiting the continuation

89
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,811
of this competition until we clear
this whole legal matter up.

90
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,471
Plus, and this is a
selfish note for me,

91
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:12,990
it's gonna make one
hell of a story.

92
00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:15,320
How dare you try to hijack
this spelling bee contest!

93
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:16,416
What did you call me?

94
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:17,584
Hijack. Yes.

95
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,789
I'm a hijacker now?

96
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:19,922
You're on the hook
for defamation, too.

97
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,294
My attorneys will be in touch

98
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,627
with both of you. Let's
get out of here.

99
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:23,729
But before we go, actually,

100
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:24,792
I'd like to watch
the both of you

101
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,531
address those poor,
wonderful children

102
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,298
and their very
supportive parents

103
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,704
when you tell them

104
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,673
that they have no shot
at the National Bee

105
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,506
or an opportunity to
meet "The Big Man."

106
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,840
That I want to see. They're
gonna be crestfallen.

107
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:35,936
I know of one father
in particular

108
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,175
who's gonna have to find a whole
new way to empty out his ball bag.

109
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,591
Let's do it. Bullies and insulters first.
You lead the way.

110
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,281
Or should I go first, the idiot hijacker?
Should I lead?

111
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,114
No one called you an idiot. You lead.
You guys decide.

112
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,885
While you decide, I'm gonna
bang out a couple of prayers.

113
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:47,981
Which way is Mecca?

114
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,118
PROCTOR: Oleaginous.

115
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,286
Oleaginous?

116
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:51,617
PROCTOR: Oleaginous.

117
00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:52,652
Oleaginous.

118
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,122
Can I have the
definition, please?

119
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:58,633
"Having the nature or
qualities of oil,"

120
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:02,902
or "Unctuous, fawning, smarmy."

121
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:08,372
Oleaginous.

122
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,243
Does it contain the Latin
root olea, meaning "olive"?

123
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,881
It does.

124
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,716
Oleaginous. Can I have
the part of speech?

125
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:18,717
It's an adjective. Am I right?

126
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,360
Yes.

127
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,088
Any other pronunciations? No.

128
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,097
Oleaginous.

129
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:31,829
O-L-E-A-G-I-N-O-U-S.

130
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,038
- That is correct.
- MAN: We got it.

131
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,404
Hi.

132
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,439
Absquatulate.

133
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:52,186
A-B-S-Q-U-A-T-U-L-A-T-E.

134
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,350
That's...

135
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,783
Correct.

136
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:58,886
Correct. Thank you.

137
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,764
Hey, Moms, let's break out the
rubber pillowcases tonight.

138
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,461
Little pricks, you're gonna
be countin' tears, not sheep.

139
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:06,760
Who's next?

140
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,518
Not now, please.

141
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,217
Guy, I need some more.

142
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:36,350
No.

143
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,190
Why, at the age of 40...
Come on.

144
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:41,663
Have you decided to annoy
educators, parents and children

145
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,723
by forcing your way into
a kids' spelling bee?

146
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:45,029
Can't you see I'm
trying to sleep?

147
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,196
Guy, I get at least one
answer per tournament.

148
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,830
I have three very paltry answers.
(SIGHS)

149
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:52,876
It's time for my fourth. Shh!

150
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,238
(SCOFFS)

151
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,972
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

152
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,916
While I'm gone, I want you
to ask yourself this.

153
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,882
Will, when all of this is over,

154
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,385
a five-answer article

155
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,921
be equal compensation
for eight weeks

156
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,718
of covered hotel
room accommodations,

157
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:09,851
qualifying tournament entry
fees, rental car damage,

158
00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,020
not to mention
emotional expense?

159
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,084
Are you not gonna get up?

160
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,722
Why? Go. You've got room.

161
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,265
Jesus Christ. If you
gave me the window,

162
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:16,493
I wouldn't have to move.

163
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,557
Yeah.

164
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,826
Don't drag that thing across me.

165
00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:23,205
It's full. You just
told me it's full.

166
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,038
I don't want it on me.
(SIGHS)

167
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,917
Hi. I'm Chaitanya Chopra.

168
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:41,715
Was that English?

169
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,785
My name is Chaitanya.

170
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:44,953
Oh.

171
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,189
Congratulations.

172
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:47,926
What's yours? No.

173
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,864
What's your name?
Spin it around.

174
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,867
I'm going to the Golden Quill.
Good for you.

175
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:52,960
My parents are up
in first class.

176
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,128
Great.

177
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,863
My dad says that economy
class builds character.

178
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:57,965
Amazing.

179
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,771
I was in last year's tournament.

180
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,606
I overheard you say
you're going, too.

181
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,706
You're the grown-up
who's competing, huh?

182
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:07,214
I heard about you. What
was your winning word?

183
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,377
I don't know.

184
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,478
What was the word you spelled
to win your regional?

185
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:11,612
To get here?

186
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:14,453
I don't fucking remember.
Do you see my eyes closed?

187
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,788
Mine was "intelligentsia?
Awesome."

188
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,954
Come on, try. How
could you forget?

189
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,429
It's such a special word.

190
00:10:29,729 --> 00:10:32,073
It was "autofellatio." Okay?

191
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,136
I've never heard of that word.
Yeah.

192
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,339
What's its origin?

193
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,648
Loneliness.

194
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,612
No, that can't be right. It is.

195
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,988
I know "auto" is of Greek
origin, meaning "self," right'?

196
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:50,159
Fellatio. Fellatio, fellatio.

197
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,761
Is that derived from the Latin
fellare, meaning "to suck"?

198
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,290
Little man,

199
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,302
the woman I'm sitting next to

200
00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,598
knows her way around
that subject real well,

201
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,935
so why don't you ask her when she
gets back from droppin' her deuce?

202
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,805
Meanwhile, if you don't point
that curry hole that way

203
00:11:04,864 --> 00:11:06,544
and sit your fuckin'
ass down in that seat,

204
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,840
I'm gonna tell the captain
that your bag's ticking.

205
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,778
Then you'll have a situation.

206
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:11,838
Good night.

207
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:13,606
(CHUCKLES)

208
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:25,152
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

209
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,536
Have a seat.

210
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,212
I'm Bernice Deagan, director of

211
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,247
the Golden Quill
National Spelling Bee.

212
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,879
Struthious.

213
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,077
What did she say?

214
00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:52,520
S-T-R-U-T-H-I-O-U-S. Struthious.

215
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,551
That was my winning word. Oh.

216
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,720
1973, national champion.

217
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,889
Just thought you should know
that in case you didn't already.

218
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,262
No, I didn't.

219
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,733
Did you know that? No, I didn't.

220
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,701
Guy, I don't like you.

221
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:08,329
Look... Quiet.

222
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,497
You know, when I
was a little girl,

223
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,544
I was always picked last in P.E.

224
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:16,912
I hated sports. That's
what probably thankfully

225
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:18,539
thrusted me into the
welcoming bosom

226
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,241
of the spelling bee, of
which lam the director.

227
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,081
Have been for over 20 years now.

228
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:25,452
How did I accomplish that?
Elbow grease? Yes.

229
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:28,389
Hard work? Maybe. Integrity?
Oh, you betcha.

230
00:12:29,215 --> 00:12:32,389
But what I didn't do is use slimy
gimmicks, as you have done.

231
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,762
Well, you don't know me and
you don't know why I'm here.

232
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,299
Would you like to tell me?

233
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,561
No, thank you.

234
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,467
Do you know why he's here?

235
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,472
Oh, I have been
trying for weeks.

236
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:46,305
All right. Well, whatever issue
it is you're hereto workout,

237
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,879
perhaps a painful 5th
grade spelling bee or...

238
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,539
It's not that. Not asking.

239
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:53,540
I'm simply telling you
you're in the wrong place.

240
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,378
No, this is the spot.

241
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,148
I'm gonna be out of your
hair in three days, though.

242
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,312
(CHUCKLES)
Perhaps sooner.

243
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,982
Because however smart
you think you are,

244
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,957
with this loophole
you're snaking through,

245
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:06,121
I'll bet you're not half as smart
<i>as</i> even our worst speller.

246
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:10,292
So B-R-A-V-O, Mr. Trilby.
You've made it.

247
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,801
That one I know. That's "bravo."

248
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:15,733
All the way to your own hanging.

249
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,272
Okay. Your noose. Enjoy.

250
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:22,474
Can I ask you a question?
On your wife's birthday,

251
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:23,774
does she get to
wear the strap-on,

252
00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:26,146
or do you hog that thing 365?

253
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:28,445
That's yours, right? You hold onto that.
Good day.

254
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:31,248
You don't share that with anybody.
Yeah. Good day.

255
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,481
I thank you very much.

256
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,183
You can thank Dr. Bowman.

257
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,090
He was very disappointed
he couldn't

258
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,025
personally place that
around your throat.

259
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:41,291
Yeah? Is he busy
doing somethin' else

260
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,628
more pleasurable with
another guy's throat?

261
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:46,671
He is in the middle of a very
important media training session.

262
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,432
Surely you're aware
that your little stunt

263
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,837
has landed on the
very first year

264
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:51,499
we're televising
this tournament?

265
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:54,669
Hang on. That is a coincidence.

266
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,975
It doesn't bother you
that a few million people

267
00:13:58,037 --> 00:13:59,846
will witness your embarrassment?

268
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,350
I'm not gonna be the
one with the red face.

269
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,318
Trust me. Not here for that.

270
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:07,485
Okey.-

271
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:09,549
See you later.

272
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:11,217
Oh!

273
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:13,854
And I personally arranged
your hotel accommodations.

274
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,113
I'll bet they're not awesome.

275
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,191
They're not.

276
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:19,497
Nice meeting you.

277
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,222
GUY: I had plenty of opportunities
to stop what I was doing.

278
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,872
To make a good decision.

279
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,847
But that would have required the kind
of lessons that I was never taught.

280
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,155
Oh, there's an ice cream
social at 5:30 P.M.

281
00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,052
You gonna be there?

282
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:43,821
Okay. No. Well, I could
be pretty late to that.

283
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,057
Really late? Super late.

284
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:47,823
Meet me there, though.

285
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,560
Here's your key, Mr.
Trilby. Thank you.

286
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:51,657
And, ma'am, I'll be
right back with yours.

287
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,704
Oh, bummer. See you.

288
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,671
CHAITANYA: Hold the door!

289
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:57,867
(PUFFING)

290
00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,599
(GRUNTS)

291
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:01,167
Whew!

292
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,172
Hey, we're both on two.

293
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:07,611
Did you remember
your winning word?

294
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,080
I'm Chaitanya, remember?

295
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,917
I can't do it again, Shawarma.

296
00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:13,081
Chaitanya.

297
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,758
How about just your
favorite word?

298
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,419
I'm serious, pal.

299
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,297
You don't have one? I don't.
No. Sorry.

300
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:26,197
Mine is "subjugate." lt just
sounds so cool, you know?

301
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:30,096
Subjugate. Subjugate.
(SIGHS)

302
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,535
Subjugate.

303
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,212
What's yours?

304
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,474
Can it be "Shut the fuck up"?

305
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,240
(ELEVATOR DINGS)

306
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:40,614
Well, that's four words.
A sentence, really.

307
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:42,918
Pretend you're on
a desert island,

308
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,453
and this gorilla comes
out of the jungle

309
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,148
and holds a gun to
your head and says,

310
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,917
"Hoo! Hoo! Tell me what
your favorite word is!"

311
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:49,082
What would you say?

312
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,650
Sweet fuck. You've got
a gorilla with a gun?

313
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:51,956
Yeah, a gorilla with a gun.

314
00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:53,172
And he's on a desert island?

315
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,390
He's standing right there!

316
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,400
Here's what I'd do. I'd kick
some sand in the monkey's face,

317
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,663
I'd take his gun and hunt you
down, I'd stick it in your mouth,

318
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,294
and I'd tell you to stop trying

319
00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:01,962
to get all up in
my kitchen, kid!

320
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:04,974
Again, that's a sentence.
We can finish that later'

321
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:06,566
Bye-bye.

322
00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,670
(LIGHT BUZZING LOUDLY)

323
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:19,983
Come on.

324
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:23,322
Unfortunately, the hotel
is completely sold out.

325
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,123
I don't have a bathroom.

326
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,028
Yeah.

327
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,000
Where would the hotel like
me to put my piss and shit?

328
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,375
(MAN TALKING ON TV)

329
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,019
Bartender? Yes, ma'am.

330
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:53,522
Do you know how to
make an Old Fashioned?

331
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:54,990
Sure.

332
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,450
Actually, make that two.

333
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,198
No mini-bar, huh?

334
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,799
They've got me in
a storage closet.

335
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,197
I think the queen bee is
sending you a message.

336
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:11,708
Whatever.

337
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,410
God.

338
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,035
Look at all the
parents around here.

339
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,037
(CHUCKLES)

340
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:21,751
Like bursting at the
seams with parents.

341
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,354
Here you go.

342
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:26,354
Where are your parents?
Thank you.

343
00:17:26,412 --> 00:17:29,655
Jenny, come on. I just want to
have a drink in peace. Okay?

344
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,389
And can I give you a little
journalistic advice?

345
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:33,896
Don't try so hard.

346
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,727
Okay, I'm gonna talk.
We're here three days.

347
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:39,496
It's difficult to talk when
you're being smothered.

348
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:44,672
You're like an insolent child
hiding secrets from his mommy.

349
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:49,510
Really? You're not half the
broad my mother was. Or is.

350
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,712
Cheers.

351
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,546
A seat opened up.

352
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,350
I don't want to talk and
I don't want the drink.

353
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,861
I'm dead serious. Either
you leave or I'm going to.

354
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:08,865
Or you could stay. I could
bu}; You yet another dinner.

355
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:09,922
No.

356
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:14,061
We could expand on this three measly
answers you've given me thus far.

357
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:15,935
You know too much already.

358
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,874
Do I? Let's see here.
Hold on a second.

359
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:26,375
Okay. Wild Turkey,
olive green and 32-A.

360
00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:32,388
Favorite drink, color and breast
size are first date questions.

361
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:35,255
But maybe you've never
been on one of those.

362
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:38,625
Can you leave me alone? I've asked
you four or five times now.

363
00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,664
Why don't you tell me why
you're so angry at the world'?

364
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:45,725
Just... Come on. Go ahead.
Screw. Please?

365
00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:54,300
Screw?

366
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,169
Screw.

367
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:58,646
Take off. Hit it.

368
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:02,151
Did you just tire of
the words "fuck off“?"

369
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:05,120
Because I know you're not suggesting
that I let you fuck me again.

370
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:06,588
(CHUCKLES)

371
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,859
First of all, you're welcome.

372
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:13,362
Umm. If you'd like
me to consider

373
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:16,524
another, uh, event with you,

374
00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,329
you can ask me nicely.

375
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:22,834
And secondly, "fuck
off“ works just great",

376
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:23,968
if that's what you prefer.

377
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,033
Does that sound better to you'?

378
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,768
Or does "screw"
sound pretty nice?

379
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:31,771
JENNY: Oh, yeah.

380
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:32,838
(BED BANGING)

381
00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:34,940
Yeah. Yeah.

382
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,343
(MOANING)

383
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,285
Yeah. Don't look at me.

384
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,055
What? Don't look at me.

385
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:48,496
Okey.-

386
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:51,128
Ooh, yeah! Yeah!

387
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:52,964
Do not look at me. Okay.

388
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:54,863
Do not look at me.

389
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,303
You're fuckin' staring
at me, you know.

390
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,534
It's kind of creepy.

391
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,371
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

392
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:01,545
Oh, yup! YUP! Yup! Yup! Yup!

393
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,841
Don't look at me! Don't look at me!
Don't look at me.

394
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:05,911
Now I have to start again.

395
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,815
I'm sorry. Lost it. Lost it.
I understand. Okay, okay.

396
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,319
So we could be here all night.

397
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:11,855
Build it up. Okay.

398
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:13,847
Climbing a mountain.

399
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,358
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

400
00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,655
Got it? One foot in
front of the other.

401
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:24,061
Okay. Now we're joggin'. Now
we're joggin'. (MOANING)

402
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,397
Who wants to run?

403
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:27,732
Don't look at me!

404
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:29,272
Do you want me to
grab your balls?

405
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:30,567
Do you want me to stick my
finger in your asshole?

406
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,835
Shut the fuck up!

407
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:33,336
(MOANING LOUDLY)

408
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,537
(GRUNTING)

409
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:36,168
Oh!

410
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:37,770
(EXHALES)

411
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:40,781
Don't look at me!

412
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:46,080
Wow. Okay.

413
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:48,419
Second time, shame on me.

414
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:50,790
I had a good time, too. Thanks.

415
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,528
So if I need fresh
towels in the morning,

416
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,030
I should just put
my name on this?

417
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:57,356
(CHUCKLES)

418
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:02,262
Okay. Well, I'll see you
tomorrow, or whatever...

419
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:04,632
Bye.
(DOOR CLOSES)

420
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,321
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)

421
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,037
(GROANS)

422
00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:27,394
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

423
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,627
You know, if you really
had it all together,

424
00:21:30,756 --> 00:21:32,929
you wouldn't be leavin' your...

425
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:35,973
Sorry to bother you, but the
lady said you were still awake.

426
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:38,234
Would you mind helping me
open this jar of pretzels?

427
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:42,243
Wow. Small room.

428
00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:44,604
(KNOCKING)

429
00:21:44,670 --> 00:21:48,345
Can you help me? I haven't had
anything to eat all night.

430
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,640
I was studying my words so hard

431
00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:50,779
that I missed room
service hours,

432
00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:53,585
and this jar's too
hard for me to open.

433
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:55,247
(KNOCKING)

434
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,691
Are you opening it now
or have you taken it?

435
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:07,435
Great. Thanks.

436
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:11,173
I was also wondering if you
wanted to be my friend.

437
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:13,004
GUY: Why would I want to be
friends with a 9-year-old'?

438
00:22:13,098 --> 00:22:15,476
Ten, but okay, that's cool.

439
00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:19,041
I just thought it would be fun to
study together before tomorrow.

440
00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:21,781
Drink soda pop from the
mini-bar and stuff.

441
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:24,655
You got a mini-bar in there?
I do.

442
00:22:26,612 --> 00:22:27,613
What about Mom and Dad?

443
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,627
My dad believes I should
learn how to be my own man.

444
00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:33,994
And that means staying in my own
hotel room myself this weekend.

445
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,401
So he's just staying in a
different room down here, is he?

446
00:22:38,724 --> 00:22:41,830
He's staying at a fancier
hotel a few blocks away.

447
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:43,634
Nice guy-

448
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:46,870
it's kind of neat. I get to jump
on the bed as much as I want.

449
00:22:46,966 --> 00:22:49,310
But tonight I messed up
and missed room service.

450
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:52,572
Have you named your binder?

451
00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:54,378
Yes. Todd.

452
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,821
He has all the words I've
ever memorized in there.

453
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:58,981
And their origins.

454
00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:02,053
Todd's my key to success.

455
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:05,026
I think I've spent more hours
with Todd than even my parents.

456
00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:08,656
He's cool and he's smart, and
that's why I named him Todd.

457
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:10,595
No, that makes sense.

458
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,038
Have you figured out
your favorite word?

459
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,867
GUY: No, I sure haven't.

460
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:19,036
Is it the "F" word?

461
00:23:19,999 --> 00:23:21,239
It's up there.

462
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:22,676
Because you say it a lot.

463
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:24,271
Everyone should.

464
00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:27,544
Not me. My father
says bad words.

465
00:23:27,606 --> 00:23:29,017
What about your dad?

466
00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:32,018
Never met him. But my mom
said bad words a lot.

467
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:34,023
And you can say bad words.
Who gives a shit?

468
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:36,017
I shouldn't Why not?

469
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:37,219
You should just say
what you feel.

470
00:23:37,283 --> 00:23:38,728
That's what they're there for.
Why don't you try one?

471
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:41,460
I feel the opposite of
bad-wordy right now.

472
00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:44,759
Will you just say something
bad, you fuckin' Quaker?

473
00:23:45,357 --> 00:23:46,358
Umm...

474
00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:48,930
Motherfucker?

475
00:23:49,028 --> 00:23:51,531
Great. Perfect.
That's a good one.

476
00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:53,974
And did your soul burst
into flames? No.

477
00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:56,076
Nope. I'm okay.

478
00:23:57,536 --> 00:23:59,709
You're a little weirdo.
You know that?

479
00:24:19,058 --> 00:24:20,230
Hey. Hey.

480
00:24:20,392 --> 00:24:21,393
(SNORTS)

481
00:24:22,061 --> 00:24:23,096
It's morning.

482
00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:26,109
You passed out last night and
I was scared to wake you.

483
00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:28,304
My dad will be here any minute.
You should go.

484
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,811
Okey.-

485
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,776
You sleep good, dickhead?

486
00:24:41,747 --> 00:24:43,867
JENNY: So what do you want
to know about this morning?

487
00:24:44,416 --> 00:24:46,293
GUY: Uh, nothing unless
it's really important.

488
00:24:46,352 --> 00:24:49,026
Oh, you're gonna be seated
next to Braden Aftergood.

489
00:24:49,121 --> 00:24:50,532
He comes from bee royalty.

490
00:24:50,589 --> 00:24:52,967
Consider me warned. Oh, good,
because he is awesome.

491
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:54,660
Is he? Yeah.

492
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,000
Is he a great speller?

493
00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:58,632
Did I leave my underpants
in your room last night?

494
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:01,473
As a matter of fact, you...

495
00:25:01,533 --> 00:25:02,533
I don't know.

496
00:25:02,601 --> 00:25:04,103
Would you look for me' please?

497
00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:05,250
I only brought three pairs.

498
00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:07,045
I probably would have
seen them, Jenny.

499
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:08,947
My room has no sink,
shower or toilet.

500
00:25:09,375 --> 00:25:11,321
Score one for Deagan.

501
00:25:11,377 --> 00:25:13,618
You know, you can put
me on the board, too.

502
00:25:18,951 --> 00:25:22,125
GUY: Obviously, if I could figure
out a way to be less stubborn,

503
00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:24,667
the right way to fix things
would be easier to see.

504
00:25:24,790 --> 00:25:26,133
Window! Window! You
take that one.

505
00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:27,634
Yes.

506
00:26:22,514 --> 00:26:23,584
Pretty impressive.

507
00:26:23,682 --> 00:26:25,958
DIRECTOR: All right, everybody,
we're going live in five minutes.

508
00:26:26,085 --> 00:26:28,929
Excuse me. Press? Click and Scroll?
Uh, yes.

509
00:26:29,621 --> 00:26:30,895
DEAGAN: Yeah, I
understand all that.

510
00:26:30,956 --> 00:26:33,402
Here's the randomized
list for this round.

511
00:26:33,459 --> 00:26:36,906
Do me a favor and
enunciate this year.

512
00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:41,371
Well, look who's here.

513
00:26:41,867 --> 00:26:43,540
USHER: Can you hook it on
your chair or something?

514
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:45,240
Thanks. Good luck.

515
00:26:45,804 --> 00:26:47,306
I'm a contestant, buddy.

516
00:26:50,209 --> 00:26:51,552
GUY: How you doin'?

517
00:26:52,744 --> 00:26:55,088
DIRECTOR: Can we get them
to sit down, please, ma'am?

518
00:26:55,881 --> 00:26:57,053
Hey, Guy!

519
00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:59,425
Oh, look who's here. Hi.

520
00:27:03,222 --> 00:27:05,930
Where's me? Is this me?
Excuse me.

521
00:27:11,830 --> 00:27:13,969
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)

522
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,447
PETE: Welcome, everyone,
to the 111th.

523
00:27:23,575 --> 00:27:25,816
Annual Golden Quill
National Spelling Bee.

524
00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:30,417
I'm Pete Fowler coming to you live
from historic Figueroa Auditorium

525
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,826
here in sunny Los
Angeles, California.

526
00:27:32,918 --> 00:27:34,955
This year marks the first year

527
00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:37,261
that the Golden Quill has
been nationally televised,

528
00:27:37,322 --> 00:27:40,633
and we can think of no better
captain for such a maiden voyage

529
00:27:40,692 --> 00:27:44,003
than the President of the
Quill Institute itself.

530
00:27:44,096 --> 00:27:46,337
Welcome to your tournament,
Professor William Bowman.

531
00:27:46,431 --> 00:27:48,104
Or should I say Dr. Bowman?

532
00:27:48,934 --> 00:27:51,608
It all depends on whether
you're sick or confused.

533
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:52,774
Otherwise, just Bill.

534
00:27:53,705 --> 00:27:55,810
Well, let's get
started, shall we'?

535
00:27:55,874 --> 00:27:59,287
We have all 50 competitors in the
room, and we're ready to begin.

536
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:02,291
Our first competitor
is Ling Quan.

537
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:03,951
Ling says that
when she grows up,

538
00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:06,056
she would like to be President
of the United States.

539
00:28:06,151 --> 00:28:08,688
Making it your fourth to reach
the office, would it not?

540
00:28:08,787 --> 00:28:10,858
DR. BOWMAN: It would.
Best of luck, Ling.

541
00:28:12,958 --> 00:28:14,301
Dactylogram.

542
00:28:14,893 --> 00:28:16,201
Dactylogram?

543
00:28:17,129 --> 00:28:18,130
Dactylogram.

544
00:28:18,964 --> 00:28:20,500
Dactylogram.

545
00:28:22,634 --> 00:28:23,874
Dactylogram.

546
00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:27,539
Can I have the
definition, please?

547
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,183
PROCTOR: "A fingerprint."

548
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,023
LING: Dactylogram.

549
00:28:35,147 --> 00:28:36,649
Can I have the origin, please?

550
00:28:37,249 --> 00:28:40,753
PROCTOR: From a Greek
combination dactylos...

551
00:28:40,852 --> 00:28:44,664
I'm Guy. And you're Braden, right'?
Braden Aftergood?

552
00:28:46,425 --> 00:28:48,427
I'm not supposed to talk to you.

553
00:28:49,494 --> 00:28:50,598
Why not?

554
00:28:50,996 --> 00:28:52,236
Because my dad says

555
00:28:52,331 --> 00:28:54,743
you're probably just
some unemployed bum

556
00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:57,245
trying to steal the prize
money that I deserve,

557
00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:58,938
and that you're a cheater.

558
00:29:02,274 --> 00:29:03,844
He said that, huh?

559
00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:06,355
He did.

560
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:07,579
PROCTOR: It is a noun.

561
00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:15,605
Can you tell your dad that I don't
blame him for being so angry?

562
00:29:16,021 --> 00:29:18,023
And then can you do
me another favor?

563
00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:20,103
Can you give these
to your mother?

564
00:29:20,192 --> 00:29:22,468
She left those in
my room last night.

565
00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:24,438
I would do it myself,
but your dad is here,

566
00:29:24,563 --> 00:29:26,406
and we've already
covered his mood.

567
00:29:26,465 --> 00:29:29,275
I don't want to kick the nest.
Do you know what I mean?

568
00:29:29,368 --> 00:29:30,369
(SIGHS)

569
00:29:30,469 --> 00:29:33,279
Buddy, good luck with that divorce.
They get so nasty.

570
00:29:33,705 --> 00:29:35,116
What are you talking about?

571
00:29:35,207 --> 00:29:38,552
I'm talking about probably a
very dysfunctional marriage.

572
00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:39,987
I'm glad I was there for her.

573
00:29:40,078 --> 00:29:42,319
It's just animal
instinct, you know?

574
00:29:42,414 --> 00:29:43,722
(LING SPELLING WORD)

575
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:46,558
She can't help it. Shes just human.
Okay?

576
00:29:46,818 --> 00:29:49,492
And she was very sweet I
want you to know that.

577
00:29:49,588 --> 00:29:51,226
(LING CONTINUES SPELLING)

578
00:29:51,290 --> 00:29:53,998
She held me afterwards.
A nice woman.

579
00:29:54,393 --> 00:29:55,838
That is correct. Hey!

580
00:29:55,961 --> 00:29:57,599
(ALL APPLAUDING)

581
00:29:58,997 --> 00:30:00,237
You're up, dawg.

582
00:30:00,299 --> 00:30:02,472
DR. BOWMAN: Poised, intelligent.

583
00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:04,274
She's got my vote.

584
00:30:04,403 --> 00:30:06,405
PETE: Next, we have
probably one of this year's

585
00:30:06,571 --> 00:30:08,608
strongest competitors,
Braden Aftergood.

586
00:30:08,674 --> 00:30:11,120
And that reminds me, my
very first spelling bee,

587
00:30:11,176 --> 00:30:13,315
I had my lucky bottle
cap in my back pocket.

588
00:30:13,412 --> 00:30:15,517
Looks like he's got his
good luck hankie there.

589
00:30:15,614 --> 00:30:16,615
(CHUCKLES)

590
00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:18,921
PROCTOR: Noctivagant.

591
00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:26,099
(STAMMERING) I'm sorry.
Uh, definition?

592
00:30:27,626 --> 00:30:29,435
PROCTOR: Going about
in the night.

593
00:30:29,795 --> 00:30:31,138
Night wandering.

594
00:30:36,201 --> 00:30:40,616
Um, noctivagant. Wait. Can
you use it in a sentence?

595
00:30:42,274 --> 00:30:44,481
The noctivagant alley cat

596
00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:47,854
kept the entire
neighborhood up all night

597
00:30:48,513 --> 00:30:53,462
by sitting on a fence, yowling
out to her many suitors.

598
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:57,000
Noctivagant.

599
00:30:59,324 --> 00:31:00,325
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

600
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,803
Okay. Noctivagant.

601
00:31:05,964 --> 00:31:08,308
N-O-c-

602
00:31:09,067 --> 00:31:13,311
T-I-V-I-G-A-N-T.

603
00:31:13,672 --> 00:31:15,151
Noctivagant.
(DINGS)

604
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,381
(CROWD MURMURING)

605
00:31:17,843 --> 00:31:18,844
(GROANS)

606
00:31:19,411 --> 00:31:20,685
PETE: Well, we have
our first elimination

607
00:31:20,746 --> 00:31:21,884
of the tournament.
I'll be right back.

608
00:31:21,980 --> 00:31:23,740
DR. BOWMAN: Yes, and
surprisingly early, too.

609
00:31:23,815 --> 00:31:25,488
PETE: Next up is Mr. Guy Trilby.

610
00:31:25,550 --> 00:31:28,156
He's 40 years old, lives
in Columbus, Ohio.

611
00:31:28,220 --> 00:31:30,564
Clearly, Mr. Trilby
has found a loophole

612
00:31:30,655 --> 00:31:32,862
in your rules of entry
and is exploiting it.

613
00:31:32,924 --> 00:31:35,404
Needless to say, this
is beyond unfortunate.

614
00:31:35,494 --> 00:31:37,906
My staff and I are making
all the efforts necessary

615
00:31:37,996 --> 00:31:39,498
to rectify the problem

616
00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:42,408
for the tournaments in
the years that follow.

617
00:31:42,501 --> 00:31:44,572
With that addressed, on
with the competition.

618
00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:46,444
And the man himself, Guy Trilby.

619
00:31:47,839 --> 00:31:49,250
My turn.

620
00:31:50,175 --> 00:31:51,518
Frabjous.

621
00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:55,691
F-R-A-B-J-O-U-S.

622
00:31:56,948 --> 00:31:58,086
That is correct.

623
00:31:58,216 --> 00:32:00,218
(CROWD APPLAUDS)

624
00:32:04,356 --> 00:32:06,563
(CROWD CLAMORING) DEAGAN: Thank you.
That's enough!

625
00:32:06,625 --> 00:32:08,536
Listen! Listen!

626
00:32:08,593 --> 00:32:10,595
We are doing all we can

627
00:32:10,695 --> 00:32:12,766
to find a happy resolution
to this situation.

628
00:32:12,864 --> 00:32:14,036
PETAL: Aren't you embarrassed?

629
00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:15,942
This is gonna go down in history

630
00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:17,944
as the most ridiculous
spelling bee ever!

631
00:32:18,036 --> 00:32:20,983
And it's gonna be on your head!
He's a grown man!

632
00:32:21,072 --> 00:32:24,076
Do you know how much money I've
spent on goddamned coaches?

633
00:32:24,209 --> 00:32:25,449
I'm sure it's a lot.

634
00:32:25,544 --> 00:32:27,217
A ton! He's a lunatic!

635
00:32:27,379 --> 00:32:29,052
Yes, he is. So fix it!

636
00:32:29,481 --> 00:32:32,223
Or I swear on my child's life,
with God as my witness,

637
00:32:32,551 --> 00:32:35,088
this will be the last year
you're the director of this bee.

638
00:32:35,153 --> 00:32:36,632
DEAGAN: All right, there's
no need for threats.

639
00:32:36,721 --> 00:32:38,962
Now, if you can all please
just leave my office,

640
00:32:39,057 --> 00:32:42,971
I can assure you this matter
is in very capable hands.

641
00:32:43,061 --> 00:32:46,133
Now, keep in mind Mr. Trilby doesn't
have the discipline and practice

642
00:32:46,231 --> 00:32:47,801
that all of your children have.

643
00:32:47,899 --> 00:32:50,470
He's made it through
the first round.

644
00:32:50,569 --> 00:32:53,175
But Dr. Bowman and I are
extremely confident

645
00:32:53,271 --> 00:32:55,012
he's not going to
make it much farther.

646
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:58,813
And I also swear on
your children's lives,

647
00:32:58,910 --> 00:33:00,685
if he makes it to
the final round,

648
00:33:00,779 --> 00:33:04,317
I'll step down <i>as</i> director of
the bee immediately. Good day.

649
00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:07,256
(CHATTER ON TV)

650
00:33:12,591 --> 00:33:15,265
I'll jump in your shower as
soon as this buzz kicks in.

651
00:33:20,265 --> 00:33:21,676
Hey, let me ask you a question.

652
00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:25,347
What's the grammatical
significance of the sentence,

653
00:33:25,437 --> 00:33:27,713
"Why run from fire ants?"

654
00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:32,882
Is this a test?

655
00:33:32,978 --> 00:33:34,889
No. It's just...

656
00:33:34,980 --> 00:33:36,220
I was wondering what
the grammatical

657
00:33:36,348 --> 00:33:37,554
significance of
that sentence was.

658
00:33:37,649 --> 00:33:39,959
"Why run from fire ants?"

659
00:33:40,118 --> 00:33:42,120
Ah, well, every
vowel is in there.

660
00:33:43,555 --> 00:33:44,795
Starting with the going to the.

661
00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:47,167
Right? It's backwards.

662
00:33:47,225 --> 00:33:50,172
I guess it's easy
for a sentence.

663
00:33:50,228 --> 00:33:54,540
I wish there was one word that
had all the vowels in it.

664
00:33:54,633 --> 00:33:56,408
But in alphabetical order.

665
00:33:57,802 --> 00:33:58,837
Facetious.

666
00:33:58,970 --> 00:34:00,040
Son of a bitch.

667
00:34:00,138 --> 00:34:01,378
I got it? You're brilliant.

668
00:34:01,473 --> 00:34:03,043
Give me another one.
You're a genius.

669
00:34:03,141 --> 00:34:05,348
These questions are from a test
that they give to geniuses.

670
00:34:05,410 --> 00:34:07,913
I got hold of your school
records, Guy Trilby,

671
00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:11,693
and your 8th grade counselor
made a note on your file

672
00:34:11,816 --> 00:34:13,227
just before you dropped out...
Let me see that.

673
00:34:13,318 --> 00:34:15,491
Saying that you showed
signs of being a genius.

674
00:34:15,987 --> 00:34:18,991
FedEx was waiting for me when I got here.
I told you I was good.

675
00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:21,594
Mr. Leavenworth,
what a dick eater.

676
00:34:21,693 --> 00:34:23,001
He told me I was
a useless loser,

677
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:26,167
and then he makes secret notes
saying that he thinks I'm smart?

678
00:34:28,233 --> 00:34:30,679
I'm glad I stole his
bike and shaved his cat.

679
00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:34,240
You just never had a chance
to shine in this school.

680
00:34:34,339 --> 00:34:35,750
You just never had a
chance to realize it.

681
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:39,117
I had a shitty upbringing.
My dad wasn't around.

682
00:34:39,210 --> 00:34:41,690
It goes on and on and on. Who
skated through their adolescence?

683
00:34:41,846 --> 00:34:42,847
Where was your father?

684
00:34:42,948 --> 00:34:43,949
I don't know.

685
00:34:45,684 --> 00:34:48,290
You got somethin' there?
Where's your pen?

686
00:34:48,386 --> 00:34:50,866
Maybe he was brilliant.
Maybe your mom was.

687
00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:52,595
Because they say that
sometimes that brilliance

688
00:34:52,691 --> 00:34:54,568
and photographic memory, which
you have, are inherited.

689
00:34:54,693 --> 00:34:56,969
It didn't come from Mom. She hated
everything to do with education.

690
00:34:57,062 --> 00:34:58,132
This one time when I was a kid,

691
00:34:58,229 --> 00:35:00,629
I tried to get in this local
spelling bee, ironically enough,

692
00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:02,542
and she burned my
favorite dictionary.

693
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:04,808
Is that why you're here?
A chance to do something

694
00:35:04,903 --> 00:35:07,042
that you weren't able to
do while she was alive?

695
00:35:07,105 --> 00:35:09,107
Are we in interview mode now?
Come on.

696
00:35:09,207 --> 00:35:10,709
You can't just have a
normal conversation.

697
00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:11,981
You've gotta turn everything
into the interview.

698
00:35:12,077 --> 00:35:13,454
I'm a reporter.

699
00:35:13,545 --> 00:35:15,047
So, can't you talk, too?

700
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,159
(GROANS) You know what?
You have problems, Guy Trilby.

701
00:35:18,249 --> 00:35:20,991
You're a shrink, too? Right? A
shrink on top of being a reporter?

702
00:35:21,086 --> 00:35:22,486
I don't know how you
cram it all in.

703
00:35:22,554 --> 00:35:23,794
And you're the one
with the problem.

704
00:35:23,888 --> 00:35:26,926
You have to be blindfolded to get off.
That's a problem.

705
00:35:27,058 --> 00:35:29,800
Oh! Well, don't worry
about that, Guy!

706
00:35:29,894 --> 00:35:31,567
Because that's never
gonna happen again!

707
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:32,631
Great. Oh!

708
00:35:32,731 --> 00:35:33,732
Yeah, great!

709
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:34,799
You promise?

710
00:35:34,899 --> 00:35:38,403
I wouldn't let you near my vagina
again if you paid me $1 million!

711
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:39,804
- (SHOWER RUNNING)
- JENNY: Don't look at me!

712
00:35:39,938 --> 00:35:40,973
GUY: Yeah...

713
00:35:42,073 --> 00:35:44,917
Can you be quiet? Your
voice eats hard-ans.

714
00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:48,082
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, really.
Let me apologize.

715
00:35:48,179 --> 00:35:51,956
Okay. Oh! Okay! You are sorry.

716
00:35:52,751 --> 00:35:53,821
That's generous.

717
00:35:53,918 --> 00:35:55,329
Uh-huh? Uh-huh!

718
00:35:55,954 --> 00:35:57,865
Hang on. This make it easier?

719
00:35:57,956 --> 00:35:59,492
Hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on.

720
00:35:59,591 --> 00:36:00,763
I'm gonna hold still.

721
00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:02,361
That makes it easier, right'?

722
00:36:02,460 --> 00:36:06,374
Don't look at me. I get it. I get it.
Don't look at me.

723
00:36:10,468 --> 00:36:12,175
Did you get locked out?

724
00:36:12,270 --> 00:36:14,181
I was wondering if
you wanted to grab

725
00:36:14,305 --> 00:36:16,285
some alimentation for
our hyperphagia.

726
00:36:16,441 --> 00:36:17,647
I'm hungry.

727
00:36:17,709 --> 00:36:21,452
Oh, I just got pretty hungry myself.
Sure, let's go for it.

728
00:36:21,613 --> 00:36:22,785
Can't believe you
can't find any other

729
00:36:22,947 --> 00:36:24,051
pre-masturbators
to hang out with.

730
00:36:24,149 --> 00:36:25,492
The place is crawlin' with them.

731
00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:28,121
CHAITANYA: You know, you can actually
study for the spelling bee anywhere.

732
00:36:28,286 --> 00:36:30,459
Thank you. Is that right?

733
00:36:31,690 --> 00:36:34,364
Try spelling "rigatoni"
without looking.

734
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,497
I don't want to. I
don't need to study.

735
00:36:36,561 --> 00:36:38,302
You need to study
because I'm gonna

736
00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:40,365
slaughter you like a sacred cow.

737
00:36:40,465 --> 00:36:42,206
Not everything is about winning.

738
00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:44,177
No, that's true. Closure
is pretty nice, too.

739
00:36:45,303 --> 00:36:46,976
To me, it's about fun.

740
00:36:48,506 --> 00:36:50,179
You probably deserve a
little bit better than that.

741
00:36:50,241 --> 00:36:51,413
Excuse me.

742
00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:54,086
I'm the mother of one of the
competitors competing here.

743
00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:56,351
Okay. What you're doing

744
00:36:56,481 --> 00:36:59,257
is an insult to
every honest child

745
00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:03,321
that's worked so hard to
be here, including my son.

746
00:37:04,989 --> 00:37:06,434
I've worked very, very
hard to get here, too,

747
00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:08,003
madam, and I'm well
within the rules.

748
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:10,437
(CHUCKLES) You're an asshole.
That's all.

749
00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:13,166
That's a child. Yes.

750
00:37:13,765 --> 00:37:15,745
And I'm sure he's heard
even worse from you.

751
00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:17,395
I don't speak like
that in front of him.

752
00:37:17,502 --> 00:37:19,948
(LAUGHS) Oh, is that right?
Yes, that's right.

753
00:37:20,605 --> 00:37:22,881
So why don't you take
your potty mouth,

754
00:37:22,941 --> 00:37:25,421
go locate your pre-teen
cocksucker son,

755
00:37:25,510 --> 00:37:26,887
and stuff him back up that old,

756
00:37:27,011 --> 00:37:28,422
blown-out sweat sock of a vagina

757
00:37:28,513 --> 00:37:30,720
and scoot off to whatever
shit-kicking town you came from.

758
00:37:30,782 --> 00:37:32,386
Can you do that for me?

759
00:37:34,352 --> 00:37:36,025
Like an elephants
trunk, I'll bet.

760
00:37:38,123 --> 00:37:40,433
Gray and distended. Wow.

761
00:37:41,893 --> 00:37:42,963
Good night. Good day.

762
00:37:43,061 --> 00:37:44,301
Thank you.

763
00:37:46,364 --> 00:37:47,399
Mothers.

764
00:37:48,199 --> 00:37:49,479
Let's get out of
this restaurant.

765
00:37:49,567 --> 00:37:50,875
It's a little depressing,
don't you think?

766
00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:53,245
My dad doesn't ever allow
me to leave the hotel.

767
00:37:53,304 --> 00:37:56,114
Daddy's not here, and he sounds
like he could be an asshole,

768
00:37:56,207 --> 00:38:00,155
so let's not listen to him. Let's go
find you some real fun. Side door.

769
00:38:19,998 --> 00:38:21,409
(SPEAKING INAUDIBLY)

770
00:39:05,610 --> 00:39:06,611
(INAUDIBLE)

771
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,714
JEREMY: I'm glad I was in
town to catch your call.

772
00:40:12,610 --> 00:40:15,386
You look really, really good.

773
00:40:15,446 --> 00:40:16,618
I appreciate that

774
00:40:16,714 --> 00:40:19,718
I've been stayin' away from sugar.
Cold Turkey.

775
00:40:19,784 --> 00:40:23,527
Wow. Do you feel as
good as you look?

776
00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:26,899
Are you happy? How's federal
agent life treating you'?

777
00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:29,097
You know, it's not as
fun as it used to be.

778
00:40:29,193 --> 00:40:33,141
Yeah, I kind of miss you digging
around where you shouldn't be.

779
00:40:33,231 --> 00:40:35,268
(CHUCKLES)
on...

780
00:40:35,366 --> 00:40:37,107
Yeah. Yeah.

781
00:40:37,201 --> 00:40:38,407
So there you go.

782
00:40:38,970 --> 00:40:41,644
That's one background
check on one Guy Trilby.

783
00:40:41,739 --> 00:40:43,548
Thank you.

784
00:40:45,476 --> 00:40:47,888
Is this for a story
or something?

785
00:40:50,381 --> 00:40:52,292
Something good?

786
00:40:53,418 --> 00:40:54,419
(GROANS)

787
00:40:55,586 --> 00:40:56,792
Did you do this
background run yourself?

788
00:40:56,921 --> 00:40:58,127
Of course I did.

789
00:40:58,222 --> 00:41:00,099
What kind of a guy repays
a favor by delegating it?

790
00:41:00,158 --> 00:41:01,569
I did ii. Wow.

791
00:41:02,894 --> 00:41:06,467
This is incredible.
Thank you so much.

792
00:41:08,066 --> 00:41:09,909
So is that it?

793
00:41:11,235 --> 00:41:13,476
Oh, yeah. This is huge.

794
00:41:13,571 --> 00:41:14,845
That's a relief. I'll tell you,

795
00:41:14,939 --> 00:41:16,475
this has been hangin'
over my head for years,

796
00:41:16,574 --> 00:41:19,248
and I'm the kind of guy, I like
to keep a debt-free lifestyle.

797
00:41:19,344 --> 00:41:22,154
Well, consider yourself
free and clear. Yeah.

798
00:41:22,246 --> 00:41:24,453
I just expected to have to
do so much more, you know'?

799
00:41:24,582 --> 00:41:26,789
It seems like it's not enough.
No.

800
00:41:26,918 --> 00:41:30,195
You saved my ass, my career.
Well...

801
00:41:30,288 --> 00:41:32,268
Feel like I'm gettin' off easy.
No.

802
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:35,429
You know, you did me a solid.

803
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,297
No, we're square.

804
00:41:38,529 --> 00:41:40,202
You don't want anything
more in return?

805
00:41:40,298 --> 00:41:41,504
Uh-uh.

806
00:41:41,766 --> 00:41:43,609
You don't want anything...

807
00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:47,949
Solid...

808
00:41:51,676 --> 00:41:53,280
In return?

809
00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:57,515
(CLICKS TONGUE)

810
00:41:58,116 --> 00:41:59,652
No.

811
00:42:01,452 --> 00:42:03,022
Are you familiar
with the phrase.

812
00:42:03,121 --> 00:42:04,191
"Eatin' ain't cheatin”?"

813
00:42:04,288 --> 00:42:05,460
Thanks so much, Jeremy.

814
00:42:05,556 --> 00:42:07,467
It's a popular phrase.
(CLEARS THROAT)

815
00:42:08,793 --> 00:42:11,239
GUY: Aren't these
fries incredible?

816
00:42:11,329 --> 00:42:12,808
And was I right about the chili?

817
00:42:12,864 --> 00:42:14,502
CHAITANYA: Love it.

818
00:42:15,033 --> 00:42:16,808
You might want to slow
down a little bit, Slummy.

819
00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:19,347
Looks like you got into the
wrong dude's ass. Here.

820
00:42:19,504 --> 00:42:20,505
Ha!

821
00:42:21,005 --> 00:42:22,040
Funny.

822
00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:26,402
You look like there was a person
who pooped their underwear,

823
00:42:26,577 --> 00:42:28,557
then you used it for
a bank robber mask.

824
00:42:28,646 --> 00:42:30,207
Then you threw the
pooped underwear away

825
00:42:30,248 --> 00:42:32,194
and forgot to wash your face.

826
00:42:33,384 --> 00:42:35,344
You shouldn't insult people.
You're no good at ii.

827
00:42:37,422 --> 00:42:39,333
This soda pop is so delicious.

828
00:42:39,824 --> 00:42:42,202
Then just say "soda." Otherwise
you're gonna get raped.

829
00:42:44,195 --> 00:42:45,765
I like having you as a friend.

830
00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:50,171
Thanks.

831
00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:52,236
Although I'm not your friend.

832
00:42:52,336 --> 00:42:54,213
You got friends. I'm
four times your age.

833
00:42:54,272 --> 00:42:55,945
I really don't have any friends.

834
00:42:56,207 --> 00:42:58,517
I thought being good in
spelling would get me friends,

835
00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,351
but kids just make
fun of me more.

836
00:43:02,013 --> 00:43:04,118
Well, who needs them?
You've got Todd, right?

837
00:43:04,682 --> 00:43:06,423
And you' too, maybe, huh?

838
00:43:07,285 --> 00:43:09,629
No. Buddy, I work alone.

839
00:43:10,354 --> 00:43:12,356
Always have. My mom
always kept me

840
00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:14,596
running around with
her, avoiding rent.

841
00:43:14,692 --> 00:43:17,298
I never gathered a bunch
of friends, so...

842
00:43:19,697 --> 00:43:21,870
And it's fine. It's good.
You'll be all right.

843
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,318
What's that?

844
00:43:35,413 --> 00:43:37,222
I borrowed it when we
borrowed the lobster.

845
00:43:38,816 --> 00:43:40,989
Really? Let me see it.

846
00:43:44,055 --> 00:43:46,934
Your fingers get a little sticky
when you get all boozed up.

847
00:43:47,058 --> 00:43:48,560
(CHUCKLES)

848
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:51,903
Toys are fun to have when you
can't play with other kids.

849
00:43:52,597 --> 00:43:54,304
That's true.

850
00:43:54,398 --> 00:43:56,571
What was your favorite
toy when you were a kid?

851
00:43:58,803 --> 00:44:02,808
Well, I did love a little toy
car once, kind of like this.

852
00:44:02,907 --> 00:44:05,353
It was a shitty little
black-and-white police car.

853
00:44:05,443 --> 00:44:07,445
Never left my pocket.

854
00:44:08,179 --> 00:44:09,920
Then I lost it one
night, I think.

855
00:44:09,981 --> 00:44:12,086
I don't know. I must have
dropped it or somethin'

856
00:44:12,250 --> 00:44:14,321
and I never saw it again.

857
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:20,666
Had a little Kojak
light right on top.

858
00:44:20,758 --> 00:44:22,999
Right there, a little
single bubble.

859
00:44:24,595 --> 00:44:26,939
Chasin' down bad guys.

860
00:44:27,465 --> 00:44:29,308
(IMITATES TIRES SQUEALING)

861
00:44:29,534 --> 00:44:31,013
(IMITATES POLICE SIREN)

862
00:44:35,606 --> 00:44:37,517
All right. So you're
a little thief,

863
00:44:37,642 --> 00:44:39,553
and you don't have any friends.

864
00:44:39,644 --> 00:44:40,987
You sound like a real loser.

865
00:44:41,045 --> 00:44:42,649
I'll bet you crush
ass, though, right?

866
00:44:42,713 --> 00:44:44,852
Make up for it with the women?

867
00:44:44,949 --> 00:44:46,189
No.

868
00:44:46,684 --> 00:44:49,893
No girlfriend for you? You
can't find one little

869
00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:54,163
chicken tikka to get your
shrimp tandoori all up in?

870
00:44:54,225 --> 00:44:56,796
Nope. But when I do get one,

871
00:44:56,861 --> 00:44:58,397
it's going to be a
girl with nipples.

872
00:44:58,863 --> 00:45:01,537
Is that right? Well, lucky for
you, they all have nipples, pal.

873
00:45:01,632 --> 00:45:03,737
Every girl does not have nipples.
No.

874
00:45:03,834 --> 00:45:05,472
They do. No, they don't.

875
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:07,038
Buddy, I promise you, they do.

876
00:45:07,138 --> 00:45:08,139
They don't.

877
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:11,153
All right. I don't know
how I missed that.

878
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:13,211
You look at their shirts.

879
00:45:13,311 --> 00:45:16,884
On some you can see the little
nipples poking through the shirts.

880
00:45:16,981 --> 00:45:18,483
On others, nothing.

881
00:45:18,983 --> 00:45:21,327
Oh, I see. I got it.

882
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:23,663
Buddy' you're in bad shape.

883
00:45:24,989 --> 00:45:27,731
You know what? I'm gonna
do you a favor. Come on.

884
00:45:28,993 --> 00:45:30,700
Let's go. You done here?

885
00:45:30,761 --> 00:45:31,831
Where are we going?

886
00:45:31,929 --> 00:45:34,239
Just come on. Let's go. If
my dad had been around,

887
00:45:34,332 --> 00:45:36,505
this is something I wish
he'd have done with me.

888
00:45:38,536 --> 00:45:40,345
I hope it's not a workout.

889
00:45:40,771 --> 00:45:42,114
I hope it's a sundae.

890
00:45:42,206 --> 00:45:43,241
Yea h. It's not.

891
00:45:43,341 --> 00:45:45,912
A dessert would follow that
chili dog really well.

892
00:45:46,010 --> 00:45:47,455
No ice cream, pal.

893
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:55,863
Hey!
(WHISTLES)

894
00:45:57,688 --> 00:46:01,226
Slumdog, I want you to meet Marzipan.
Marzipan, Slumdog.

895
00:46:01,292 --> 00:46:02,430
Hi.

896
00:46:02,526 --> 00:46:03,630
You said he was 16.

897
00:46:03,728 --> 00:46:06,800
Yeah, he is 16. He's got a
hydro-thyroid retentional problem.

898
00:46:06,931 --> 00:46:09,104
Remember Gary Coleman? Right?

899
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:10,941
God rest his sweet, funny soul.

900
00:46:11,035 --> 00:46:15,313
Amen. Okay, let's do this. Chaiwalla,
all I can say is, "You're welcome."

901
00:46:15,406 --> 00:46:16,544
For what?

902
00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:18,781
Hit it.

903
00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:27,395
Three, four, five,

904
00:46:28,552 --> 00:46:32,159
six, seven, eight,

905
00:46:34,825 --> 00:46:36,498
nine... Can you bang it?

906
00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:39,937
Ten.

907
00:46:40,598 --> 00:46:42,100
Nice?

908
00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:43,301
Huh?

909
00:46:46,637 --> 00:46:47,775
Good, right?

910
00:46:49,307 --> 00:46:50,911
No tip? No tip.

911
00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:52,617
Asshole.

912
00:46:52,677 --> 00:46:55,988
Don't ask me for my last 10, Marzipan,
and then expect me to tip you.

913
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:57,115
There's your tip.

914
00:46:57,181 --> 00:46:59,821
Bye, sweetie. Good luck
with your glands and shit.

915
00:46:59,917 --> 00:47:01,919
Thank you. Wasn't that good?

916
00:47:02,620 --> 00:47:03,655
I lied to her.

917
00:47:03,754 --> 00:47:05,700
I still have a couple bucks.
Want to get the ice cream now?

918
00:47:05,790 --> 00:47:08,600
Fuck the ice cream. How
much to touch 'em?

919
00:47:10,328 --> 00:47:11,432
I don't know.

920
00:47:12,763 --> 00:47:16,176
Which way did she go? She turn right'?
Let's go ask her.

921
00:47:16,267 --> 00:47:17,940
Marzipan!

922
00:47:18,002 --> 00:47:19,982
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(DOORS OPEN)

923
00:47:20,037 --> 00:47:22,517
GUY: That might be true, but I
still think a person your age

924
00:47:22,606 --> 00:47:24,381
should be carrying at least
a dollar in his pocket,

925
00:47:24,475 --> 00:47:26,148
and if you had, that would
have been the difference.

926
00:47:26,210 --> 00:47:27,689
Would've gotten yourself
a little bit of skin.

927
00:47:27,778 --> 00:47:30,486
But it was still the
best time of my life.

928
00:47:30,548 --> 00:47:32,459
Are we friends now?

929
00:47:33,184 --> 00:47:34,185
(LOCK BEEPS)

930
00:47:36,620 --> 00:47:38,224
(DOOR CLOSES)
Cool.

931
00:47:40,624 --> 00:47:41,625
(LOCK BEEPS)

932
00:47:51,035 --> 00:47:52,412
I'd like it if you could
just block out a little

933
00:47:52,503 --> 00:47:55,313
private time for me
after today's round.

934
00:47:55,373 --> 00:47:56,408
If you don't mind.

935
00:47:59,977 --> 00:48:02,017
You saying you want to come
over and fuck off again?

936
00:48:03,981 --> 00:48:05,517
No, that's not
what I'm... (SIGHS)

937
00:48:05,583 --> 00:48:07,221
You want to look for
your underwear?

938
00:48:07,318 --> 00:48:08,319
Just give me 10 minutes.

939
00:48:08,486 --> 00:48:12,832
Guy, I wanted to give you something
before the round starts.

940
00:48:14,258 --> 00:48:17,000
A little Wite-Out and a Lego
piece, and you got your car back.

941
00:48:18,829 --> 00:48:19,864
Thanks, buddy.

942
00:48:20,398 --> 00:48:22,878
But I'm still gonna
totally bust your nut.

943
00:48:23,334 --> 00:48:26,178
(CHUCKLES) I don't think
you mean to say that.

944
00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:27,341
I do.

945
00:48:27,505 --> 00:48:28,540
No, say you're
gonna kick my ass.

946
00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:30,347
Okay. Thai. All right.

947
00:48:30,408 --> 00:48:32,513
See you there. See you there.

948
00:48:34,779 --> 00:48:35,951
What was that about?

949
00:48:36,046 --> 00:48:37,719
I don't know. Kids are weird.

950
00:48:59,537 --> 00:49:03,576
DIRECTOR: Stand by in
five, four, three, two...

951
00:49:04,074 --> 00:49:06,213
PETE: Welcome, America,
to round two of

952
00:49:06,310 --> 00:49:08,381
the Golden Quill
National Spelling Bee.

953
00:49:08,446 --> 00:49:11,586
It is a point where, sadly,
many have already gone home.

954
00:49:11,715 --> 00:49:15,253
But the fighting spirit remains
for those who have survived.

955
00:49:15,319 --> 00:49:16,627
And that number is 30.

956
00:49:16,720 --> 00:49:20,167
Thirty brave, determined
competitors who are here...

957
00:49:20,458 --> 00:49:22,233
Here are this round's words.

958
00:49:22,293 --> 00:49:24,637
And let's remember, this
competition is in English,

959
00:49:24,728 --> 00:49:26,674
not "marble mouth."

960
00:49:27,998 --> 00:49:30,342
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

961
00:49:32,403 --> 00:49:33,746
PROCTOR: Rhapsodize.

962
00:49:35,406 --> 00:49:36,612
CONTESTANT: Rhapsodize.

963
00:49:38,576 --> 00:49:40,487
Rhapsodize.

964
00:49:43,447 --> 00:49:44,653
Rhapsodize.

965
00:49:47,918 --> 00:49:49,761
Rhapsodize.

966
00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:52,963
Joyce?

967
00:49:53,657 --> 00:49:57,764
Wondering if that's your hair
clip or somethin' over there?

968
00:49:57,928 --> 00:49:59,305
Where? Underneath that
seat right there.

969
00:49:59,363 --> 00:50:01,809
Can you see it? It's
certainly not mine.

970
00:50:01,866 --> 00:50:03,675
I just don't want you to lose
something that might cost...

971
00:50:03,767 --> 00:50:06,543
There you go. Give it a look.

972
00:50:06,637 --> 00:50:08,981
GUY: My behavior was
ridiculous, at best.

973
00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:12,453
I'm in credibly lucky that!
Wasn't

974
00:50:12,610 --> 00:50:14,021
beaten to death by the parents.

975
00:50:14,111 --> 00:50:16,614
There's nothing down there.
Not that I can see.

976
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:18,284
GUY: Or their children.

977
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:20,693
That's a big "never
mind" now, okay?

978
00:50:20,784 --> 00:50:24,027
I want you to get ready
to get super-happy.

979
00:50:24,121 --> 00:50:25,964
We've got a celebration
on our hands.

980
00:50:26,023 --> 00:50:27,559
What are you talking about?

981
00:50:28,559 --> 00:50:33,702
It seems that your friend
has finally come to town.

982
00:50:33,797 --> 00:50:35,140
My what? Yeah.

983
00:50:35,199 --> 00:50:37,076
Somebody's a woman today.

984
00:50:39,203 --> 00:50:40,978
I don't know what
you're saying to me.

985
00:50:43,641 --> 00:50:46,815
When you got up, I saw

986
00:50:47,811 --> 00:50:49,848
your adulthood.

987
00:50:50,548 --> 00:50:51,652
Adulthood?

988
00:50:51,715 --> 00:50:53,516
(CONTESTANT AND PROCTOR
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

989
00:51:01,559 --> 00:51:04,506
Congratulations. You
must be vibrating.

990
00:51:04,562 --> 00:51:07,042
That's so exciting. But
you can celebrate later.

991
00:51:07,097 --> 00:51:10,203
Right now you've got a tournament to win.
You've got words to spell.

992
00:51:10,267 --> 00:51:12,543
Even though your
situation might not be

993
00:51:12,670 --> 00:51:14,946
very camera-friendly,
screw them.

994
00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:16,908
You get up there and you
take this tournament.

995
00:51:17,007 --> 00:51:18,077
You take what's yours.

996
00:51:18,175 --> 00:51:20,382
You've got a long walk to
make up thereto excellence.

997
00:51:20,511 --> 00:51:23,355
Unfortunately, it is
all the way up there.

998
00:51:23,547 --> 00:51:25,220
PROCTOR: That is correct.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

999
00:51:25,349 --> 00:51:27,260
PETE: Next up is Joyce Sacks.
She's from...

1000
00:51:27,351 --> 00:51:28,421
Oh, man.

1001
00:51:28,519 --> 00:51:31,227
I know. I know. God, so many people
watching, and you're up next.

1002
00:51:31,288 --> 00:51:33,029
I wish I had a sweatshirt
to give you, but I don't.

1003
00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:35,092
So instead I want you
to just keep thinking,

1004
00:51:35,192 --> 00:51:38,264
"These are not light pants.
These are not light pants."

1005
00:51:38,362 --> 00:51:39,568
You just keep saying
it to yourself.

1006
00:51:39,697 --> 00:51:41,734
Competitor 1124?

1007
00:51:41,799 --> 00:51:44,939
That's you. "These are not
light pants." You can do it.

1008
00:51:45,035 --> 00:51:46,742
Competitor 1124?

1009
00:51:48,906 --> 00:51:50,613
1124.

1010
00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:53,746
Clearly we have a case of stage
fright brewing in the back row.

1011
00:51:53,811 --> 00:51:55,085
MOTHER: Sweetheart?

1012
00:51:56,547 --> 00:51:57,582
Sweetheart?

1013
00:51:57,648 --> 00:51:58,718
Mama, I can't.

1014
00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:00,056
No, baby girl.

1015
00:52:00,884 --> 00:52:01,954
JOYCE: I can't do it.

1016
00:52:02,052 --> 00:52:03,998
I don't blame you. Looks
like a super-heavy flow.

1017
00:52:04,088 --> 00:52:08,434
Competitor 1124, you must make
your way to the microphone now

1018
00:52:08,993 --> 00:52:10,768
or be disqualified.

1019
00:52:10,828 --> 00:52:12,637
Why don't you try to do a
hop-scoot with your chair?

1020
00:52:12,730 --> 00:52:14,403
Just grab both sides of it
and you just kind of...

1021
00:52:14,465 --> 00:52:15,910
I can't do this!

1022
00:52:15,966 --> 00:52:19,641
She's gone. There she goes.
She made it this far, though.

1023
00:52:19,737 --> 00:52:22,616
PETE: Clearly the pressure
was just too much for her.

1024
00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:23,651
I hope she'll be all right.

1025
00:52:23,741 --> 00:52:25,846
DR. BOWMAN: Yes, the
tournament does create

1026
00:52:25,976 --> 00:52:28,115
a natural selection,
does it not?

1027
00:52:28,612 --> 00:52:29,613
Pruning of the weak.

1028
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:30,720
GUY: Lend her your jacket!

1029
00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:31,954
Allowing the strong
to blossom...

1030
00:52:32,016 --> 00:52:33,757
It's so tough. It's tough.

1031
00:52:33,817 --> 00:52:34,921
Reach for the sky.

1032
00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:37,132
They'll be good.

1033
00:52:38,589 --> 00:52:39,829
Oh, dear.

1034
00:52:43,193 --> 00:52:45,332
GUY: Is that my word'?
That's two words.

1035
00:52:46,130 --> 00:52:47,131
Um...

1036
00:52:48,666 --> 00:52:51,340
Is "Um" the word? I'd be
guessing at the "M's."

1037
00:52:51,435 --> 00:52:52,436
What's going on?

1038
00:52:54,438 --> 00:52:55,439
(CLEARS THROAT)

1039
00:52:58,542 --> 00:53:02,684
Floccinaucinihilipilification.

1040
00:53:05,616 --> 00:53:06,651
PETE: Good gracious.

1041
00:53:06,717 --> 00:53:08,822
That word is longer
than most sentences.

1042
00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:12,030
Can you repeat it one
more time, please?

1043
00:53:12,122 --> 00:53:13,396
PROCTOR: Floccinaucini...

1044
00:53:13,490 --> 00:53:15,629
DR. BOWMAN: As a professor
of linguistics,

1045
00:53:15,693 --> 00:53:17,969
I can tell you with
the utmost confidence

1046
00:53:18,028 --> 00:53:20,474
that a true
orthographic enthusiast

1047
00:53:20,564 --> 00:53:23,010
wouldn't flinch at
such a challenge.

1048
00:53:25,903 --> 00:53:29,316
F-L-O-C-C-

1049
00:53:30,407 --> 00:53:33,479
I-N-A-U-

1050
00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:38,151
C-I-N-l.

1051
00:53:38,482 --> 00:53:41,861
H-I-L-I-

1052
00:53:41,919 --> 00:53:45,594
P-I-L-I-

1053
00:53:45,923 --> 00:53:49,063
F-I-C-A-T-l-O-N.

1054
00:53:52,496 --> 00:53:53,497
Correct.

1055
00:53:53,931 --> 00:53:54,932
(AUDIENCE GASPING)

1056
00:54:03,674 --> 00:54:05,244
Nougat.

1057
00:54:05,342 --> 00:54:09,119
N-O-U-G-A-T. Nougat.

1058
00:54:09,346 --> 00:54:10,381
PROCTOR: Incriminate.

1059
00:54:10,447 --> 00:54:11,847
CONTESTANT: The root
origin, please?

1060
00:54:12,549 --> 00:54:13,619
PROCTOR: Hagridden.

1061
00:54:13,717 --> 00:54:16,459
CONTESTANT; H-A-G-R-I-

1062
00:54:17,020 --> 00:54:18,795
T-T-O-N.

1063
00:54:18,889 --> 00:54:19,924
(BELL TUNES)
(AUDIENCE SIGHING)

1064
00:54:20,023 --> 00:54:22,264
PROCTOR: Antidisestablishmentarianism.

1065
00:54:22,359 --> 00:54:26,603
A-N-T-l-D-I-S-E-S-T-

1066
00:54:26,697 --> 00:54:31,476
A-B-L-I-S-H-M-E-N-T-

1067
00:54:31,568 --> 00:54:35,448
A-R-I-A-N-I-S-M.

1068
00:54:35,539 --> 00:54:36,711
PROCTOR: Correct.

1069
00:54:37,207 --> 00:54:38,413
PROCTOR: Asterisk.

1070
00:54:38,475 --> 00:54:39,476
(BELL RUNES)

1071
00:54:40,377 --> 00:54:41,583
Meticulous.
(BELL DINGS)

1072
00:54:41,645 --> 00:54:43,454
Conjecture.
(BELL DINGS)

1073
00:54:43,547 --> 00:54:44,651
Pertinacious.

1074
00:54:44,882 --> 00:54:50,298
P-E-R-T-I-N-A-C-I-O-U-S.

1075
00:54:50,387 --> 00:54:51,422
Correct.

1076
00:54:51,889 --> 00:54:53,630
(BELL DINGING)

1077
00:54:53,724 --> 00:54:55,465
Sauerkraut
(BELL DINGS)

1078
00:54:55,559 --> 00:54:58,130
Immunoelectrophoresis.

1079
00:54:58,428 --> 00:55:05,403
L-M-M-U-N-O-E-L-E-C-T-R-O-
P-H-O-R-E-S-I-S.

1080
00:55:05,736 --> 00:55:07,147
PROCTOR: That is correct.

1081
00:55:09,673 --> 00:55:12,153
(CROWD CLAMORING) DEAGAN:
Obviously, I'm not going to resign.

1082
00:55:12,242 --> 00:55:13,983
That would leave the
bee rudderless.

1083
00:55:14,077 --> 00:55:16,114
- MAN: Oh, bullshit!
- DEAGAN: Everyone, please.

1084
00:55:16,180 --> 00:55:20,128
I know what I said. I... There is...
If you will all...

1085
00:55:20,184 --> 00:55:23,358
Yes, lam the most qualified
person for this position.

1086
00:55:23,453 --> 00:55:25,330
Pardon me! Yes?

1087
00:55:25,422 --> 00:55:28,665
We just completed the
standard competition review.

1088
00:55:29,159 --> 00:55:31,435
Guy Trilby didn't get
those words by accident.

1089
00:55:31,528 --> 00:55:34,099
It appears the
randomized word list

1090
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:36,667
was purposefully
manipulated by you.

1091
00:55:40,971 --> 00:55:42,541
You tampered with this.

1092
00:55:43,273 --> 00:55:44,877
And I, in good conscience,

1093
00:55:44,975 --> 00:55:48,479
cannot allow such an abuse of
your position to go unnoticed.

1094
00:55:51,815 --> 00:55:53,726
And it didn't even stop him.

1095
00:55:53,817 --> 00:55:55,125
PROCTOR: True,

1096
00:55:55,185 --> 00:55:57,495
but that's not really
the point, now, is it?

1097
00:55:57,554 --> 00:55:58,554
He may be unlikable,

1098
00:55:58,622 --> 00:56:01,694
but he's a contestant,
all the same.

1099
00:56:01,792 --> 00:56:06,298
And all contestants
deserve a fair chance.

1100
00:56:09,633 --> 00:56:13,376
And it didn't even stop him.
God damn it!

1101
00:56:13,470 --> 00:56:14,540
(CROWD MURMURING)

1102
00:56:14,638 --> 00:56:16,709
You're done.

1103
00:56:16,807 --> 00:56:19,151
Did I enunciate that
clearly enough?

1104
00:56:22,246 --> 00:56:24,192
(ALL SHOUTING)

1105
00:56:36,326 --> 00:56:39,273
INGRID: Mr. Trilby,
you have a message.

1106
00:56:41,899 --> 00:56:43,674
Thank you.

1107
00:56:51,775 --> 00:56:53,721
You got a duck pond, huh?

1108
00:56:56,413 --> 00:56:58,017
(DUCKS QUACKING)

1109
00:57:00,050 --> 00:57:02,360
Did you want to see me, Dr.
Bowman?

1110
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:04,126
Yes, I do, Mr. Trilby.

1111
00:57:06,757 --> 00:57:08,065
Do you like ducks?

1112
00:57:10,093 --> 00:57:12,095
They're okay on a plate.

1113
00:57:13,563 --> 00:57:18,103
You know, I got after it quite
a bit when I was younger.

1114
00:57:18,201 --> 00:57:22,616
I stirred life's cocktail
pretty vigorously, if you will.

1115
00:57:23,206 --> 00:57:26,119
I'd venture to say
that more than once,

1116
00:57:26,209 --> 00:57:29,088
I found myself on the precipice

1117
00:57:29,212 --> 00:57:32,091
of making a
life-altering mistake.

1118
00:57:34,785 --> 00:57:39,131
But each time, with no
parental guidance whatsoever,

1119
00:57:39,222 --> 00:57:40,758
I was able to carefully

1120
00:57:43,126 --> 00:57:45,663
back up, turn around, walk away.

1121
00:57:47,764 --> 00:57:49,402
Here I am today.

1122
00:57:51,068 --> 00:57:53,776
I have people's respect,
I have their admiration.

1123
00:57:53,837 --> 00:57:55,407
I have control over
one of the most

1124
00:57:55,572 --> 00:57:57,142
respected institutions
in the country.

1125
00:57:57,741 --> 00:58:00,745
Had I not been able to
identify an approaching abyss,

1126
00:58:01,111 --> 00:58:04,024
I'd be in a very different
position today.

1127
00:58:05,415 --> 00:58:08,521
Mr. Trilby, I don't
know, I don't even care

1128
00:58:08,618 --> 00:58:12,088
why you've chosen to place
yourself on this edge.

1129
00:58:13,256 --> 00:58:15,099
But I can assure you,

1130
00:58:16,793 --> 00:58:18,602
take one step further,

1131
00:58:18,996 --> 00:58:21,476
and life will become
even more challenging

1132
00:58:21,531 --> 00:58:23,875
than I'm sure it already is.

1133
00:58:29,006 --> 00:58:31,486
A nice threat, is
that what that is?

1134
00:58:33,176 --> 00:58:37,056
It's a safe prediction.
Losers lose, Mr. Trilby.

1135
00:58:38,048 --> 00:58:39,994
And that's what I am, huh?

1136
00:58:40,050 --> 00:58:41,529
Is that what I am, a loser?

1137
00:58:42,853 --> 00:58:47,165
(CHUCKLES) If you quack like
them and you walk like them,

1138
00:58:48,158 --> 00:58:49,660
what would you be?

1139
00:58:51,461 --> 00:58:53,134
That's cute.

1140
00:58:59,002 --> 00:59:01,846
Just so you know, I didn't come
here to lose. And I'm not gonna.

1141
00:59:04,474 --> 00:59:07,648
In the game I'm playing,
I'm way ahead right now.

1142
00:59:09,079 --> 00:59:11,992
Okay. Whether you know it or not.
So...

1143
00:59:19,423 --> 00:59:21,494
Thanks for the check-up.

1144
00:59:30,734 --> 00:59:32,077
Good, Guy!

1145
00:59:32,169 --> 00:59:34,581
Do you have a minute? Because
I have that thing...

1146
00:59:34,671 --> 00:59:37,174
No. Sorry... that I need
to discuss with you.

1147
00:59:38,542 --> 00:59:42,752
I'm kind of done with today. I'm just
gonna drop this gift off to the kid

1148
00:59:42,846 --> 00:59:44,587
and then I'm gonna hit the sack.

1149
00:59:44,681 --> 00:59:48,356
You bought him a present? Has the
Grinch found his Cindy Lou Who?

1150
00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:50,193
That's from Dr. Seuss. I get it.

1151
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:54,565
No, this is just a little bit
of porn and some ice cream.

1152
00:59:54,624 --> 00:59:56,465
Oh, Santa would be proud.
Can I get in, please?

1153
00:59:56,526 --> 00:59:57,806
Come on. Get a drink with me.
No.

1154
00:59:57,894 --> 00:59:59,737
This is important
I'll bet it's not.

1155
01:00:01,765 --> 01:00:03,438
You know, when somebody that
you've been sleeping with

1156
01:00:03,533 --> 01:00:04,773
says they'd like
to speak with you,

1157
01:00:04,868 --> 01:00:06,711
the least you could
do is fake it.

1158
01:00:06,770 --> 01:00:08,875
Well... Come on.

1159
01:00:09,039 --> 01:00:11,076
Did I just wake up 10 years later?
Are we married?

1160
01:00:11,641 --> 01:00:13,120
Please?

1161
01:00:20,717 --> 01:00:21,787
Don't flatter yourself.

1162
01:00:21,885 --> 01:00:23,922
I had something important
to talk to you about.

1163
01:00:25,122 --> 01:00:26,294
Prick!

1164
01:00:26,389 --> 01:00:27,891
Sorry!

1165
01:00:30,594 --> 01:00:31,629
Good night!

1166
01:00:31,761 --> 01:00:32,831
Little fuckin' prick!

1167
01:00:43,273 --> 01:00:44,980
(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

1168
01:00:45,075 --> 01:00:46,645
CHAITANYA: Dad, he's nothing.

1169
01:00:46,743 --> 01:00:48,450
He took me around to see
the sights last night.

1170
01:00:48,512 --> 01:00:50,355
Something that you've
never done, by the way.

1171
01:00:50,447 --> 01:00:52,484
SRIRAM: Chaitanya, stay focused.

1172
01:00:53,350 --> 01:00:55,421
This man is your enemy.

1173
01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:59,991
Keep him close, but don't forget that.
Remember Donnie Brasco.

1174
01:01:00,090 --> 01:01:01,535
Do you want to win?

1175
01:01:02,692 --> 01:01:03,966
Do you?

1176
01:01:04,027 --> 01:01:05,097
Yes.

1177
01:01:05,162 --> 01:01:09,201
Then keep him best friends so
that he can't bear to beat you.

1178
01:01:09,966 --> 01:01:11,639
Dad, I know the plan.

1179
01:01:14,104 --> 01:01:15,139
Hey.

1180
01:01:15,805 --> 01:01:16,943
Hey.

1181
01:01:18,341 --> 01:01:20,514
You're pretending to be my
friend just to My to win?

1182
01:01:20,610 --> 01:01:21,611
What? No, no!

1183
01:01:21,778 --> 01:01:22,778
No, no?

1184
01:01:22,812 --> 01:01:25,122
I just heard you and
your dad talking,

1185
01:01:25,182 --> 01:01:26,627
just outside the door there.

1186
01:01:26,983 --> 01:01:28,360
Let's all relax.

1187
01:01:28,451 --> 01:01:30,863
Eat shit, buddy. I'll hit
you in the face. Okay?

1188
01:01:30,954 --> 01:01:32,900
You little fuck! I can't believe
I was your goddamn mark!

1189
01:01:32,989 --> 01:01:34,559
It was my dad's idea, okay?

1190
01:01:34,658 --> 01:01:36,331
No, it wasn't. You're
a little liar.

1191
01:01:36,459 --> 01:01:38,370
He felt you were the biggest threat.
Great.

1192
01:01:38,461 --> 01:01:39,804
And you were. Yup.

1193
01:01:42,032 --> 01:01:43,636
Dad, I really like him.

1194
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,179
You make me sick.
You know that'?

1195
01:01:45,468 --> 01:01:47,846
I'm not doing the plan anymore.

1196
01:01:47,971 --> 01:01:50,383
I'm just being friends.
Because we are now.

1197
01:01:50,473 --> 01:01:52,350
No, we're not. I didn't
know we would be!

1198
01:01:52,409 --> 01:01:53,979
Really? I thought winning
wasn't everything.

1199
01:01:54,044 --> 01:01:55,751
It isn't everything! Not now!

1200
01:01:55,845 --> 01:01:57,552
Sure sounds like it.
You're a liar!

1201
01:01:57,647 --> 01:02:00,491
Guy, you showed me
my first boobs.

1202
01:02:02,752 --> 01:02:04,060
What did he say?

1203
01:02:04,154 --> 01:02:07,226
Another lie. He's
a lying machine.

1204
01:02:07,324 --> 01:02:08,496
Guy, please!

1205
01:02:08,825 --> 01:02:09,826
Please what?

1206
01:02:09,893 --> 01:02:11,930
My dad will be so
disappointed in me if I lose!

1207
01:02:12,596 --> 01:02:13,939
I don't want that!

1208
01:02:14,030 --> 01:02:15,100
Well, tough shit.

1209
01:02:15,565 --> 01:02:18,239
I guess you're just gonna have
to try to beat me now, huh.

1210
01:02:18,335 --> 01:02:19,871
And you can have this back.

1211
01:02:28,111 --> 01:02:29,112
(DOOR SLAMS)

1212
01:02:58,375 --> 01:02:59,979
(PHONE RINGING)

1213
01:03:03,380 --> 01:03:04,415
Hello?

1214
01:03:04,481 --> 01:03:06,722
Hi, Chaitanya. This is
Ingrid at the front desk.

1215
01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:08,888
Your father just called
to say he's driving by,

1216
01:03:08,952 --> 01:03:10,556
and if you can be in the
lobby in one minute,

1217
01:03:10,654 --> 01:03:12,224
he'll take you out
for ice cream.

1218
01:03:12,322 --> 01:03:13,392
Really?

1219
01:03:45,955 --> 01:03:46,956
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

1220
01:04:22,459 --> 01:04:23,529
Todd!

1221
01:04:27,330 --> 01:04:29,367
Todd!

1222
01:04:33,136 --> 01:04:35,207
(ALARM BEEPING)

1223
01:04:37,741 --> 01:04:38,742
(CLICKS OFF)

1224
01:04:52,389 --> 01:04:53,697
OPERATOR: Los Angeles 911.

1225
01:04:53,757 --> 01:04:55,430
Hello? Is it an emergency?

1226
01:04:55,525 --> 01:04:56,902
Yes, this is an emergency.

1227
01:04:56,993 --> 01:04:58,870
What is the nature and the
location of your emergency?

1228
01:04:58,928 --> 01:05:01,499
Please send the police to the
Sportsman's Lodge Hotel right away.

1229
01:05:01,564 --> 01:05:02,599
What's the problem?

1230
01:05:02,699 --> 01:05:05,009
I just saw a man drag a
teenager into his room,

1231
01:05:05,068 --> 01:05:06,604
and she was screaming for help.

1232
01:05:06,703 --> 01:05:08,080
But as soon as the door shut,

1233
01:05:08,171 --> 01:05:09,673
the screaming suddenly stopped.

1234
01:05:09,739 --> 01:05:11,946
- (BANGING ON DOOR)
- COP: LAPD. Open up.

1235
01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:15,745
(GROANS)

1236
01:05:17,547 --> 01:05:18,548
(BANGING ON DOOR)

1237
01:05:23,553 --> 01:05:25,834
(SIGHS) What are you tryin' to
do to me, you little bitch?

1238
01:05:26,089 --> 01:05:28,433
He's still got her in there.
Open up, now!

1239
01:05:28,691 --> 01:05:30,534
(BANGING ON DOOR)
(YAWNS)

1240
01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:34,470
Hold your tits. I'm coming.

1241
01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:36,952
Shit, get in there now.
Break the door.

1242
01:05:39,803 --> 01:05:40,804
(GUY GRUNTS)

1243
01:05:44,073 --> 01:05:45,416
Little bastard.

1244
01:05:45,542 --> 01:05:47,146
At least they didn't
press charges.

1245
01:05:47,243 --> 01:05:48,722
I'll be pressing the
fucking charges.

1246
01:05:48,812 --> 01:05:50,257
It almost broke my goddamn face!

1247
01:05:50,313 --> 01:05:51,758
Guy, I've gotta talk to
you about something.

1248
01:05:51,815 --> 01:05:53,158
I don't care how much of
an asshole you are to me,

1249
01:05:53,249 --> 01:05:54,956
I'm getting it said right now.

1250
01:05:55,051 --> 01:05:56,621
I've been doing some digging...

1251
01:05:56,753 --> 01:05:58,391
Would you stop walking
for one second?

1252
01:05:59,055 --> 01:06:00,932
Jesus Christ! I'm
kind of all you have.

1253
01:06:01,391 --> 01:06:02,927
Can't walk and talk?

1254
01:06:05,061 --> 01:06:06,165
What's wrong?

1255
01:06:07,897 --> 01:06:09,899
I found out who your father is.

1256
01:06:11,301 --> 01:06:13,110
Oh, okay.
(SCOFFS)

1257
01:06:14,070 --> 01:06:16,607
(SIGHS)
Good for you.

1258
01:06:16,673 --> 01:06:18,778
I guess you're not as bad a
reporter as I thought you were.

1259
01:06:18,842 --> 01:06:21,322
It took you a while,
though, don't you think?

1260
01:06:21,411 --> 01:06:23,413
It was right there.

1261
01:06:29,919 --> 01:06:31,125
So that's what you're up to?

1262
01:06:32,589 --> 01:06:33,761
Yeah.

1263
01:06:37,994 --> 01:06:39,634
Couple of months ago,
the day my mom died,

1264
01:06:39,696 --> 01:06:43,838
she finally told me who he
was and where he was, and...

1265
01:06:43,933 --> 01:06:45,276
And, um...

1266
01:06:49,172 --> 01:06:54,121
It pissed me off,
obviously, so here I am.

1267
01:07:00,016 --> 01:07:02,292
He was just a traveling
encyclopedia salesman

1268
01:07:02,352 --> 01:07:05,731
and she was a
waitress at a diner.

1269
01:07:07,624 --> 01:07:11,231
And she got pregnant and she
told him, and he took off.

1270
01:07:12,362 --> 01:07:14,672
That's it? He never returned?

1271
01:07:14,964 --> 01:07:15,999
No.

1272
01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:17,637
He never called?

1273
01:07:18,034 --> 01:07:19,479
Nothin'.

1274
01:07:21,504 --> 01:07:23,381
So he has no idea who you are?

1275
01:07:23,473 --> 01:07:26,545
He has no clue. But he will.

1276
01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:30,357
As soon as I'm done
embarrassing him

1277
01:07:30,413 --> 01:07:31,613
and his precious spelling bee,

1278
01:07:31,681 --> 01:07:35,561
Bill Bowman will never
forget who I am.

1279
01:07:35,652 --> 01:07:38,098
And I think that that is
just the bare minimum

1280
01:07:38,187 --> 01:07:41,430
that a son can expect from
his father, don't you?

1281
01:07:50,366 --> 01:07:53,245
Good digging. Did
you park up here?

1282
01:07:53,336 --> 01:07:54,337
Mmm-hmm.

1283
01:07:58,041 --> 01:08:00,419
Dr. Bowman, I know that
Director Deagan's resignation

1284
01:08:00,510 --> 01:08:02,956
was as difficult for you as it was for her.
Your thoughts?

1285
01:08:03,780 --> 01:08:06,784
She has served this tournament
well for many years.

1286
01:08:06,883 --> 01:08:10,057
It's a tragedy that the frayed
integrity of this year's tournament

1287
01:08:10,119 --> 01:08:12,360
has touched her post as well.

1288
01:08:12,889 --> 01:08:15,699
I hope we can finish up now
without any more casualties.

1289
01:08:16,392 --> 01:08:18,133
Profoundly stated.

1290
01:08:18,227 --> 01:08:21,401
Now let's begin this,
the final round.

1291
01:08:21,464 --> 01:08:23,410
Ten competitors remain.

1292
01:08:25,101 --> 01:08:27,980
First up, Eric Tai from
Shorewood, Wisconsin.

1293
01:08:28,071 --> 01:08:29,812
I'm gonna bust your nut.

1294
01:08:30,873 --> 01:08:32,944
I'm gonna fuckin' end you.

1295
01:08:38,548 --> 01:08:39,583
Inchoate.

1296
01:08:40,617 --> 01:08:41,652
Inchoate.

1297
01:08:42,785 --> 01:08:44,560
Can I have the
definition, please?

1298
01:08:44,954 --> 01:08:47,958
PROCTOR: "Not yet completed or
fully developed, rudimentary."

1299
01:08:48,057 --> 01:08:52,062
GUY: <i>The closer</i> I <i>got to the end,
the more I thought about the goal.</i>

1300
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:54,267
And the more I thought
about the win.

1301
01:08:54,330 --> 01:08:58,836
C-H-O-A-T-E. Inchoate.

1302
01:08:59,435 --> 01:09:00,778
That is correct.

1303
01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:06,852
PETE: And once again, Chaitanya
Chopra approaches the microphone.

1304
01:09:06,943 --> 01:09:08,820
He was here last year,
and he hopes to

1305
01:09:08,945 --> 01:09:10,905
bring it all the way to the
finish line this year.

1306
01:09:10,913 --> 01:09:13,359
Well, he has company
on that hope.

1307
01:09:13,449 --> 01:09:14,587
PROCTOR: Tmesis.

1308
01:09:14,784 --> 01:09:15,854
Tmesis.

1309
01:09:17,020 --> 01:09:18,021
Definition?

1310
01:09:18,121 --> 01:09:19,327
"In grammar and rhetoric,"

1311
01:09:19,422 --> 01:09:22,335
"the separation of the
parts of a compound word"

1312
01:09:22,425 --> 01:09:24,837
"now generally done
for humorous effect."

1313
01:09:24,927 --> 01:09:27,806
"For example,
'abso-bloody-lutely.“"

1314
01:09:27,864 --> 01:09:29,502
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

1315
01:09:29,599 --> 01:09:32,307
Is the origin from the
Greek "a cutting"?

1316
01:09:32,669 --> 01:09:33,704
Yes.

1317
01:09:34,037 --> 01:09:37,450
Tmesis. T-

1318
01:09:40,143 --> 01:09:42,817
M-E-S-I-S.

1319
01:09:43,279 --> 01:09:44,952
- Tmesis.
- PROCTOR: That is correct.

1320
01:09:45,515 --> 01:09:47,461
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

1321
01:09:50,953 --> 01:09:52,296
(AUDIENCE BOOING)

1322
01:09:52,355 --> 01:09:53,698
PROCTOR: Quiet in the
audience, please.

1323
01:09:53,790 --> 01:09:54,962
PETE: Mr. Trilby has
certainly received

1324
01:09:55,024 --> 01:09:57,903
his fair share of booing
at this year's tournament.

1325
01:09:57,994 --> 01:09:59,200
DR. BOWMAN: Yes, another
of this year's firsts.

1326
01:09:59,328 --> 01:10:00,898
PROCTOR: Thank you.
(BOOING DIES DOWN)

1327
01:10:00,997 --> 01:10:02,499
Continuing.

1328
01:10:06,803 --> 01:10:07,975
Slubberdegullion.

1329
01:10:09,072 --> 01:10:10,210
Slubberdegullion?

1330
01:10:10,306 --> 01:10:11,649
PROCTOR: Slubberdegullion.

1331
01:10:12,642 --> 01:10:13,985
WOMAN: Perfect. S...

1332
01:10:14,210 --> 01:10:15,712
I know the definition of that.

1333
01:10:15,812 --> 01:10:17,553
"A dirty, wretched slob."

1334
01:10:18,748 --> 01:10:19,886
Just like you, sir.

1335
01:10:20,583 --> 01:10:21,704
Was I supposed to hear that?

1336
01:10:21,818 --> 01:10:23,593
Yes, you were. Because
that's what you are.

1337
01:10:23,686 --> 01:10:26,860
Madam, please. Or I'm going
to have to ask you to leave.

1338
01:10:27,156 --> 01:10:28,999
You're gonna have
to ask me to leave?

1339
01:10:29,092 --> 01:10:31,504
I think you should ask
him to leave, huh!

1340
01:10:31,561 --> 01:10:33,598
- GUY: Take it easy.
- PROCTOR: Gentlemen' please.

1341
01:10:33,696 --> 01:10:35,039
You're telling me
to take it easy?

1342
01:10:35,164 --> 01:10:36,438
GUY: We're trying to
have a spelling bee!

1343
01:10:36,532 --> 01:10:37,772
You're bringing the cops.
Ma'am, please...

1344
01:10:37,867 --> 01:10:42,077
No! No, no! He called my
baby boy a cocksucker,

1345
01:10:42,171 --> 01:10:45,209
and I will not repeat what he
said to me about my vagina.

1346
01:10:45,274 --> 01:10:46,582
SECURITY GUARD: Okay, ma'am,
that's it, we're going.

1347
01:10:46,676 --> 01:10:48,883
Nope. I'm not going. You
have to carry me out.

1348
01:10:49,045 --> 01:10:51,184
No, I'm gonna sit here,
I'm gonna stay here,

1349
01:10:51,247 --> 01:10:54,285
and you're gonna have to work
for it, you cocksuckers!

1350
01:10:54,383 --> 01:10:58,422
Because I have a beautiful,
young, fully-elasticized vagina.

1351
01:10:58,521 --> 01:11:01,263
(CONTINUES SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

1352
01:11:01,357 --> 01:11:03,064
Don't take me out! Take him out!

1353
01:11:03,126 --> 01:11:04,764
Well, here's hoping that
the guys in the truck

1354
01:11:04,894 --> 01:11:06,532
found the seven-second button...

1355
01:11:06,596 --> 01:11:08,371
CROWD: (CHANTING)
Take him out! Take him out!

1356
01:11:08,431 --> 01:11:10,934
Before you were all exposed
to a category of words

1357
01:11:11,033 --> 01:11:12,603
we're not accustomed to dealing
with here at the Quill.

1358
01:11:12,735 --> 01:11:14,874
That's enough! That is enough!
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)

1359
01:11:17,940 --> 01:11:20,580
This is the Golden
Quill Spelling Bee.

1360
01:11:22,478 --> 01:11:25,982
We're on television
in millions of homes.

1361
01:11:28,084 --> 01:11:30,826
Show some respect
for the tournament.

1362
01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:37,404
And for me.

1363
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:52,620
I believe the word was
slubberdegullion.

1364
01:11:53,576 --> 01:11:55,351
PROCTOR: That's correct.
Slubberdegullion.

1365
01:11:58,848 --> 01:12:01,089
S-L-U-B-B-E-R-

1366
01:12:01,450 --> 01:12:04,920
D-E-G-U-L-L-I-O-N.

1367
01:12:05,621 --> 01:12:06,964
That is correct.

1368
01:12:07,023 --> 01:12:08,593
(CROWD GROANING)

1369
01:12:16,199 --> 01:12:18,543
GUY: With the humiliation
part taken care of

1370
01:12:18,668 --> 01:12:21,046
and the favored child
all but killed,

1371
01:12:22,471 --> 01:12:24,542
maybe I already had my win.

1372
01:12:25,107 --> 01:12:26,211
Eric Tai.

1373
01:12:32,448 --> 01:12:33,859
Kopophobia.

1374
01:12:34,217 --> 01:12:35,696
Kopophobia.

1375
01:12:36,052 --> 01:12:37,827
Can I have the
definition, please?

1376
01:12:38,154 --> 01:12:39,724
"Fear of exhaustion."

1377
01:12:39,822 --> 01:12:42,530
"Otherwise known as
'Lexicographer's Curse!"

1378
01:12:44,126 --> 01:12:47,164
Is it derived from the Greek
kopos meaning "fatigue"?

1379
01:12:47,230 --> 01:12:48,300
PROCTOR: Yes.

1380
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:54,542
K-O-P-O-P-O-B-I-A.

1381
01:12:54,971 --> 01:12:56,041
No!
(DINGS)

1382
01:12:56,138 --> 01:12:57,708
(CROWD MURMURING)

1383
01:12:57,807 --> 01:13:00,651
PETE: Oh, my. Eric knew
that he left out the

1384
01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:03,919
it's been a long, long day, and
it's clearly taken its toll on him.

1385
01:13:05,348 --> 01:13:07,919
Well, well. I think
you're gonna like this.

1386
01:13:08,985 --> 01:13:10,896
We're on the verge
of history here,

1387
01:13:10,987 --> 01:13:13,866
with 40-year-old Guy
Trilby in the final two.

1388
01:13:15,825 --> 01:13:17,327
PROCTOR: Parisology.

1389
01:13:18,361 --> 01:13:19,601
Parisology.

1390
01:13:27,203 --> 01:13:31,345
P-A-R-I-S-O-

1391
01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:36,015
L-O-G-

1392
01:13:41,384 --> 01:13:42,692
I-E.

1393
01:13:42,752 --> 01:13:43,958
(CROWD MURMURING)

1394
01:13:44,053 --> 01:13:45,054
(DINGS)

1395
01:13:45,121 --> 01:13:46,896
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

1396
01:13:46,956 --> 01:13:49,596
PETE: Goodness me, what a
dramatic turn of events here.

1397
01:13:49,692 --> 01:13:51,933
Yes. Yes, indeed.

1398
01:13:54,063 --> 01:13:55,872
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you, quiet.

1399
01:13:56,365 --> 01:14:00,108
The rules dictate... Thank you.
Quiet, please.

1400
01:14:00,202 --> 01:14:03,240
The rules dictate that because
he's one of the final two,

1401
01:14:03,306 --> 01:14:05,718
he remains onstage
until his opponent

1402
01:14:05,875 --> 01:14:08,219
correctly spells the next word.

1403
01:14:08,778 --> 01:14:10,724
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

1404
01:14:10,813 --> 01:14:12,986
I'm finished here. You take it.
It's all yours.

1405
01:14:14,283 --> 01:14:16,058
PROCTOR: Contestant 157.

1406
01:14:21,624 --> 01:14:24,161
(AUDIENCE SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENTS)

1407
01:14:26,095 --> 01:14:29,076
Mr. Chopra, you
are one word away

1408
01:14:29,231 --> 01:14:32,144
from being the new
Golden Quill champion.

1409
01:14:35,338 --> 01:14:37,011
Infinitesimally.

1410
01:14:38,074 --> 01:14:39,747
Infinitesimally.

1411
01:14:40,910 --> 01:14:42,480
Can I have the definition?

1412
01:14:42,845 --> 01:14:45,917
PROCTOR: Yes.
"Exceedingly small."

1413
01:14:47,016 --> 01:14:49,963
lnfinitesimally.

1414
01:14:50,019 --> 01:14:56,265
I-N-F-l-N-l-T-E-S-l-M-A-L-

1415
01:15:05,167 --> 01:15:06,475
Y-

1416
01:15:06,535 --> 01:15:07,673
(AUDIENCE GASPING)

1417
01:15:07,770 --> 01:15:09,681
No, no. Hey.
(DINGS)

1418
01:15:10,506 --> 01:15:12,281
Oh, my. I can't believe it.

1419
01:15:13,142 --> 01:15:14,883
Not again.

1420
01:15:14,977 --> 01:15:16,513
What happened?

1421
01:15:18,514 --> 01:15:19,822
What are you doing?

1422
01:15:19,882 --> 01:15:21,483
If you think everything
I said was a lie,

1423
01:15:21,517 --> 01:15:22,996
then I'll prove that it wasn't.

1424
01:15:23,052 --> 01:15:24,497
Ifs not about winning
to me anymore.

1425
01:15:24,620 --> 01:15:26,497
It's about my friend. Buddy, I
don't give a shit about that.

1426
01:15:26,555 --> 01:15:28,535
And I don't care about that
either, with all due respect.

1427
01:15:28,624 --> 01:15:30,365
Very nice of you, very sweet.
But I'm not here for that.

1428
01:15:30,459 --> 01:15:32,666
I'm not here for a fuckin' trophy
or a check, or these idiots.

1429
01:15:32,728 --> 01:15:35,174
I hurt your feelings. And I
wasn't a good friend. I'm sorry.

1430
01:15:35,231 --> 01:15:36,676
We're good.

1431
01:15:38,901 --> 01:15:40,209
Okay, next?

1432
01:15:41,637 --> 01:15:42,638
Rugose.

1433
01:15:43,973 --> 01:15:46,044
R-U-G-O-S. Ding it.

1434
01:15:46,142 --> 01:15:47,849
(BELL TUNES)
I'm finished! Let's go!

1435
01:15:47,910 --> 01:15:49,821
You're wasting my fucking time.
Come on.

1436
01:15:52,248 --> 01:15:53,488
PROCTOR: Pejorative.

1437
01:15:54,316 --> 01:15:58,355
P-E-J-O-R-A-T-E-V-E.

1438
01:15:58,421 --> 01:15:59,729
Pejorative.

1439
01:16:00,089 --> 01:16:02,689
PETE: It seems as though they're
misspelling the words on purpose.

1440
01:16:03,159 --> 01:16:04,263
Will you just spell
the fucking words?

1441
01:16:04,360 --> 01:16:05,998
That's all you've gotta do and
you've got the tournament.

1442
01:16:06,062 --> 01:16:07,166
Same with you.

1443
01:16:07,229 --> 01:16:09,732
Chai-latte, get your shit
together, you dumb dick!

1444
01:16:10,166 --> 01:16:11,509
Fuck you, Guy!

1445
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:12,874
(AUDIENCE GASPS)

1446
01:16:13,869 --> 01:16:15,212
GUY: Nice. Great.

1447
01:16:16,839 --> 01:16:18,512
Dad, you've got a
real prince here.

1448
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,417
Yeah, he's a liar and
he's swearing now.

1449
01:16:20,509 --> 01:16:22,216
It's a good combo. It's sweet.

1450
01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:24,016
One more word, please?

1451
01:16:24,180 --> 01:16:27,889
I did not lie! Got it?

1452
01:16:28,184 --> 01:16:30,562
I say that you did!

1453
01:16:30,619 --> 01:16:31,620
Got it?
(GRUNTS)

1454
01:16:35,224 --> 01:16:36,259
(GASPING)

1455
01:16:37,860 --> 01:16:39,862
Okay. This has turned ugly.

1456
01:16:42,698 --> 01:16:44,371
You can add violent to the list.

1457
01:16:44,467 --> 01:16:46,140
Your boy Gandhi would
be real proud.

1458
01:16:47,803 --> 01:16:50,374
And by the way, I was born

1459
01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:54,546
in Cleveland, Ohio!

1460
01:16:54,877 --> 01:16:56,550
(ALL GASPING)

1461
01:17:00,382 --> 01:17:02,055
(BEEPING)

1462
01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:03,756
(MUSIC PLAYING)

1463
01:17:06,455 --> 01:17:09,231
WOMAN: Share your voice.
We share your mind.

1464
01:17:09,291 --> 01:17:12,795
We show you extraordinary
programs with extraordinary...

1465
01:17:12,895 --> 01:17:13,896
(BEEPING)

1466
01:17:13,963 --> 01:17:14,964
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1467
01:17:15,064 --> 01:17:16,441
WOMAN: For 200 million...

1468
01:17:16,565 --> 01:17:18,567
PETE: I really don't know
what to say, America.

1469
01:17:18,767 --> 01:17:20,447
Dr. Bowman is conferring
with the judges...

1470
01:17:21,270 --> 01:17:23,181
addressing the audience.

1471
01:17:23,806 --> 01:17:25,513
Okay. I'll figure it out.

1472
01:17:26,242 --> 01:17:27,778
Watch your step.

1473
01:17:28,410 --> 01:17:29,980
Ladies and gentlemen,

1474
01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:32,751
boys and girls,

1475
01:17:33,415 --> 01:17:35,827
those of you at home
and in attendance,

1476
01:17:35,918 --> 01:17:39,024
I would like to extend
my deepest apologies

1477
01:17:39,121 --> 01:17:43,263
for what has devolved
into an embarrassment,

1478
01:17:43,325 --> 01:17:45,703
this year's competition.

1479
01:17:45,794 --> 01:17:48,172
The Golden Quill
has always enjoyed

1480
01:17:48,264 --> 01:17:49,937
an immaculate reputation

1481
01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:54,539
of respectful, challenging
and dignified behavior.

1482
01:17:55,271 --> 01:17:56,545
Until now.

1483
01:17:56,972 --> 01:17:58,974
Well, hopefully the end is near.

1484
01:17:59,108 --> 01:18:00,109
Gentlemen!

1485
01:18:00,709 --> 01:18:03,019
It has been decided
that neither of you

1486
01:18:03,145 --> 01:18:05,489
is going to be
disqualified because...

1487
01:18:05,548 --> 01:18:06,652
(MAN BOOING)

1488
01:18:06,715 --> 01:18:08,353
It appears that both of you

1489
01:18:08,517 --> 01:18:10,519
have conducted
yourselves equally

1490
01:18:10,619 --> 01:18:12,292
in a shameful manner.

1491
01:18:12,788 --> 01:18:15,564
So let's get on with this
contest and finish it.

1492
01:18:15,991 --> 01:18:18,699
I'm gonna ask the audience
to please remain silent.

1493
01:18:19,161 --> 01:18:20,231
Thank you.

1494
01:18:23,199 --> 01:18:24,371
PROCTOR: And continuing...

1495
01:18:24,466 --> 01:18:26,139
Yeah. My turn.

1496
01:18:27,736 --> 01:18:28,736
Unguent.

1497
01:18:28,804 --> 01:18:31,978
Unguent? A-N-G-U-E-N-T. Ding it.

1498
01:18:32,041 --> 01:18:33,179
(AUDIENCE MUTTERING)

1499
01:18:33,909 --> 01:18:35,183
I can do this all night.

1500
01:18:36,145 --> 01:18:37,146
Go ahead.

1501
01:18:41,750 --> 01:18:45,721
Please, very carefully
consider the word.

1502
01:18:46,755 --> 01:18:47,893
Callithump.

1503
01:18:50,859 --> 01:18:52,338
C-A-L...

1504
01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:53,839
Chaitan!

1505
01:18:55,764 --> 01:18:57,437
Please don't do this to us.

1506
01:19:10,346 --> 01:19:12,519
C-A-L...

1507
01:19:13,749 --> 01:19:14,853
Ifs the easiest
word of the night.

1508
01:19:14,917 --> 01:19:18,364
C-A-L-l-T-H-U-M-P.
It's simple, idiot.

1509
01:19:19,054 --> 01:19:21,364
No, you're the idiot.
You forgot an.

1510
01:19:21,557 --> 01:19:23,559
All right! That's m That's all!

1511
01:19:23,859 --> 01:19:26,362
You tried to help a
fellow competitor cheat.

1512
01:19:26,428 --> 01:19:27,805
That is against the rules.

1513
01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:30,141
Sir, you are disqualified.

1514
01:19:30,866 --> 01:19:34,211
Doesn't matter. I misspelled it.

1515
01:19:35,537 --> 01:19:36,880
He corrected me.

1516
01:19:39,475 --> 01:19:43,753
PROCTOR: Which means even though
you tried to help him cheat,

1517
01:19:44,380 --> 01:19:47,259
he wasn't cheating, and ended up

1518
01:19:47,950 --> 01:19:50,430
technically spelling the
word correctly on his own.

1519
01:19:51,654 --> 01:19:54,658
So he is the new champion!

1520
01:19:58,394 --> 01:20:01,307
No! Guy! Guy, you tricked me!

1521
01:20:01,397 --> 01:20:02,637
No, Guy!

1522
01:20:02,731 --> 01:20:04,404
Chaiwalla, go hug
your chai-papa.

1523
01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:06,070
Guy, that's not fair!

1524
01:20:07,836 --> 01:20:10,680
Here's your trophy, Chaitanya.
Congratulations.

1525
01:20:11,106 --> 01:20:13,950
And here's your
check for $50,000!

1526
01:20:14,843 --> 01:20:16,982
And here's your lifetime
supply of encyclopedias.

1527
01:20:21,784 --> 01:20:23,024
Guess that worked, huh'?

1528
01:20:23,118 --> 01:20:24,654
PETE: You're the new champion.
How does it feel?

1529
01:20:24,753 --> 01:20:26,755
CHAITANYA: I don't consider
myself the champion.

1530
01:20:26,855 --> 01:20:28,835
I consider myself the
co-champion with Guy.

1531
01:20:29,258 --> 01:20:30,464
Guy!

1532
01:20:33,262 --> 01:20:35,333
It was totally unfair
to disqualify you.

1533
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:38,778
This is yours, too.
You let me win.

1534
01:20:42,471 --> 01:20:44,280
And I want to give you half.

1535
01:20:45,607 --> 01:20:47,985
Plus, friends split things.

1536
01:20:51,213 --> 01:20:52,453
Right?

1537
01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:55,128
(AUDIENCE MUTTERING)

1538
01:21:02,024 --> 01:21:03,970
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

1539
01:21:26,982 --> 01:21:29,553
GUY: I don't know if! Should
have done things differently.

1540
01:21:30,018 --> 01:21:33,261
Like I said, I'm not
good at a lot of things.

1541
01:21:36,425 --> 01:21:38,666
Maybe there should have
been a screaming match.

1542
01:21:41,063 --> 01:21:42,508
A fight.

1543
01:21:43,665 --> 01:21:45,076
Maybe some tears.

1544
01:21:52,174 --> 01:21:54,848
But I guess I just
want to move on

1545
01:21:56,912 --> 01:21:58,858
and let you do the same.

1546
01:22:05,521 --> 01:22:06,522
(ELEVATOR DINGS)

1547
01:22:07,222 --> 01:22:09,133
What's done is done.

1548
01:22:10,192 --> 01:22:12,035
I can't change what happened.

1549
01:22:15,097 --> 01:22:16,474
All I can do,

1550
01:22:18,567 --> 01:22:20,069
all I want to do

1551
01:22:25,941 --> 01:22:28,251
is leave you with this apology.

1552
01:22:29,611 --> 01:22:31,113
This note,

1553
01:22:32,981 --> 01:22:35,894
which started with me telling
you that my feelings were”.

1554
01:22:40,722 --> 01:22:43,168
What the hell could
you possibly write

1555
01:22:43,292 --> 01:22:45,738
that I would be
interested in reading?

1556
01:22:49,398 --> 01:22:51,605
There's a bit in there
about me being your son.

1557
01:22:58,240 --> 01:23:00,083
Son.

1558
01:23:39,448 --> 01:23:42,861
GUY: And as much as I'd
like to hurt your feelings

1559
01:23:42,951 --> 01:23:44,624
and call you names,

1560
01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:48,665
they're just words, and it
wouldn't change a thing.

1561
01:23:50,659 --> 01:23:53,037
That's not what
this note was for.

1562
01:23:58,200 --> 01:24:01,010
Hopefully it has explained
why I did what I did

1563
01:24:02,404 --> 01:24:04,577
and maybe even have
you understand.

1564
01:24:06,141 --> 01:24:08,314
If not, that's fine.

1565
01:24:13,549 --> 01:24:16,689
Yours literally, Guy Trilby.

1566
01:24:20,155 --> 01:24:22,226
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

1567
01:24:31,233 --> 01:24:32,712
Watch this.

1568
01:24:32,901 --> 01:24:34,676
Hey, spelling nerd. Yes?

1569
01:24:34,836 --> 01:24:36,873
Can you spell "douchebag"?

1570
01:24:37,005 --> 01:24:38,279
Of course.

1571
01:24:39,374 --> 01:24:40,409
(BULLIES LAUGHING)

1572
01:24:40,509 --> 01:24:42,216
How about you spell,
"Pick up your books"?

1573
01:24:42,611 --> 01:24:43,954
CHAITANYA: That's a sentence!

1574
01:24:52,854 --> 01:24:54,197
Hey, Slumdog.

1575
01:24:57,025 --> 01:24:58,299
Wow!

1576
01:24:58,427 --> 01:24:59,701
Right? Get over here.

1577
01:25:05,200 --> 01:25:06,736
Where did you get this?

1578
01:25:06,802 --> 01:25:10,443
Got this old police car at an auction
with my half of your winnings.

1579
01:25:10,572 --> 01:25:13,280
So thank you very much. You
got me two cars in one month.

1580
01:25:13,375 --> 01:25:14,581
You're a nice guy.

1581
01:25:14,643 --> 01:25:15,713
Now, to pay you back,

1582
01:25:17,379 --> 01:25:18,949
how about we go chase
some bad guys?

1583
01:25:19,047 --> 01:25:20,219
I would love to.

1584
01:25:25,053 --> 01:25:26,896
Whoo! Hey!

1585
01:25:26,955 --> 01:25:28,400
Coming to get you!

1586
01:25:32,561 --> 01:25:33,767
CHAITANYA: This is awesome!

1587
01:25:35,564 --> 01:25:36,941
We're gonna so get them all!

1588
01:25:38,233 --> 01:25:39,234
(GUY WHOOPING)

1589
01:25:39,334 --> 01:25:44,334