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6
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I'm glad you are here.

7
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I'm sorry for the metal detector.

8
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That's my fault. I, um...

9
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tweeted something,
and, uh, it made some people

10
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feel the need to express, um,
want to kill me.

11
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And...

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I'm sorry I called for a military coup.

13
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I know it's a long shot.

14
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< You know, when you are a comedian now,
you really have to think about everything through

15
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before posting it,
you know, on Twitter.

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In our opinion, who are we, president?

17
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Oh. No need. </ P>

18
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But it's appreciated. </ P>

19
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I & apos; m, uh... I & apos; m not a fancy person. </ P>

20
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I am not & apos; t, um...

21
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,319
You know, I'm wearing onesie.

22
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I'm not... I have friends.
love is jewelry, and I love them.

23
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But I... I don't know really.
Value of jewelry at all.

24
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That said... I love a good hotel room.

25
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I need a soaking tub.

26
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So, I have my stuff.

27
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And I just got on the road,

28
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29
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and I have to stay
in some very good hotels.

30
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a Jew who complains.

31
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Which is a stereotype.

32
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Based on facts and patterns.

33
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And then, like, concludes from the pattern -the pattern.

34
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Why did you sell your
culture, Sarah?

35
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Sorry.

36
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Is that laughing? Yes. Okay. </ P>

37
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Um... But I did call down. </ P>

38
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And I'm like,
"Everything is amazing. </ P>

39
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Thank you a lot.

40
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Um, but I...

41
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:12,426
note it seems like there, um...

42
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,897
semen on...

43
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I think this is called a blanket. </ P>

44
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And... Or an entertainer. </ P>

45
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,970
And also, um...

46
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There are also some,
like it, bedside.

47
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48
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,519
And, um, also, I notice
there & apos; s all my breasts come up. That's & apos; s...

49
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I only, you know, if there is & apos; s...

50
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I hate complaining.

51
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,295
If there is an improvement to do,
I will...

52
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in I will accept it . "

53
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,900
Can you hear me
when I only talk like this?

54
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:56,301
This is a sound system
good.

55
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,648
You can hear I
when I only talk like this?

56
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:04,678
I, uh, get laser hair removal.

57
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,012
And...

58
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:08,915
Have you just praise it?

59
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,617
You like, "Finally."

60
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:13,787
I got laser hair removal.

61
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I waited a very long time to do it.

62
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,460
Uh... I want science
to be at the top.

63
00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:26,800
You know, like, we landed on Mars...
I thought it was August 2012. </ p >

64
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,641
Are you just impressed
that I remember the date? </ P>

65
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,744
What I'm saying is...

66
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,882
we landed on Mars in 2012. </ P>

67
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,917
I waited four more years. </ P> >

68
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:51,525
And then I looked up
the highest ranked laser hair removal place

69
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,593
in my three apartment blocks.

70
00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:54,661
And I went there. </ p >

71
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It's called LaserAway.

72
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And, um...

73
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,736


74
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it's not what I...

75
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I thought I was naive,
and I just think you go,

76
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:12,946
and you get... And your hair gets removed.
But it's much longer process.

77
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:17,584
For each section of hair
you want to be deleted,

78
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,052
you have to go
have eight separate sessions,

79
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So, for me, I do, like,
from the bottom right of my navel

80
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,425
to the floor.

81
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,395
And then come back.
get around my back.

82
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:32,098
And, um... Isn't that funny.
Is that funny? And that's a lie. </ P>

83
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:33,600
I did my arm too. </ P>

84
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,769
But, um...

85
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,738
I can't lie to you. </ P>

86
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:40,539
I got & apos; t.

87
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:43,410
Uh... Right.
So, they make you pay in advance.

88
00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:46,112
What makes sense,
Now I think about it.

89
00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:49,516
Because... it hurts a lot.

90
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:54,054
In your second session like,
"Oh, I will gladly pay $ 3000

91
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,957
not to never come back here again.
That will be a bargain. "

92
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,058
It hurts a lot.

93
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,660
And I have...
I feel like I have high pain...

94
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:04,731
I think most women
have a high pain threshold.

95
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:08,868
I have been punched in the face three times.
And that is another story for another time.

96
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:09,935
But I...

97
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,940
This is a different type from sick.
It's like nerves ending...

98
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,007
Like nerve damage.

99
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,712
Like, they give you a stress ball,
and you press them.

100
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:22,382
And at that time
you open your fingers open,

101
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:26,553
they are just, like,
powder pyramid, basically.

102
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,422
It hurts so much. </ P>

103
00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:33,426
I remember saying to myself like,
"You are an adult woman. </ P>

104
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:36,062
Itu adalah uang Anda untuk diboroskan.
Anda mendapatkan itu uang.

105
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,131
Throw it out the window.
That doesn't matter. "

106
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:43,870
And, uh, when I walk back to my car.
after the second session...

107
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:48,642
I actually remember exactly,
like, words I told myself

108
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,644
when I walked to the car, I was like:

109
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:53,747
"What you just went through is trauma. </ P>

110
00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,485
It's traumatic. "</ P>

111
00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:02,122
And right at that time
I have a text message from my girlfriend,

112
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,758
in Guatemala at the time
with UNICEF.

113
00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,861
And it just said...

114
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,797
said, "I just spent the morning with a woman. 
who witnessed his son being killed. "

115
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:13,733
And I like," You think it's bad? "

116
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,104
Because I have...

117
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,006
I have time difficult with perspective.

118
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,846
Like, I didn't get it.
with experience, I think. </ P>

119
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:30,784
I'm walking
here in Los Angeles, assessing people. </ P>

120
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:37,757
And that is not me being the best myself.
I am not proud of that. </ P>

121
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:41,027
And that & apos; s not me being my best self.
Iosm not proud of it.

122
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,862
But that's just a scenario.

123
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:45,198
And I remember just thinking,
like, "You fucking...

124
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:49,869
shortsighted, shortsighted, narrow minded.

125
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:51,071
You don't get it. "

126
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With their wallet, like $ 1500.

127
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:55,608
This is bag. It holds dirt. </ P>

128
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:56,977
Get a backpack. You are ridiculous. </ P>

129
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,980
Do you know? I am like,
"You don't even get it. </ P>

130
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:03,850
We breathe ego,
act like we don't & apos; ta speck of dust

131
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:07,120
in a speck of dust on a speck of dust
glides through space.

132
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,187
We are nothing. "

133
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,890
And then in the next moment.
I will be like:

134
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,226
" I want my face to money. "

135
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,229
I really .

136
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,735
I feel like I am worth...
I want my face to money, period.

137
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:22,801
I just...

138
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:26,606
I want face my period on money.

139
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:27,607
Like:

140
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,142
No, it's more resilient. It's like:

141
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,022
Aw, I just heard my sister laugh. </ p >

142
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,125
He is dead. </ P>

143
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,194
No, he is here. I am joking. He is here. </ P>

144
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:58,805
I , um... I have a dog for years.

145
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,307


146
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,843
And he is my best friend.

147
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:06,679
Every time I'm home.
I'm talking to him.

148
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:11,284
And then he dies,
and I stop talking to him.

149
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,551
Makes sense .

150
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:16,322
Or isn't it? I don't know.
I mean, does that really make sense? </ P>

151
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,226
He's just as important.
From the conversation now...

152
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,864
in the box on my desk. </ P>

153
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,203
I stopped... This is what it is. </ P>

154
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:33,940
I stopped talking to myself
because there was nothing & apos; ta dog in the room.

155
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,007
That's crazy.

156
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:40,346
So, now I have a new dog, Mary.

157
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:42,649
I, um... I saved her.

158
00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:44,217
p>

159
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,619
Or I like to think he saved me.

160
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:49,622
I don't know which one is more rude.
about putting it.

161
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,794
But I have it.

162
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:58,364
And, uh, I really love him.

163
00:09:58,631 --> 00:09:59,632
He is everything to me.

164
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,334
He is young, and he is full of life.

165
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,336
And he is obsessed with squirrels.

166
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,948
And he also made me like it.

167
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:08,708
And he just, like, like a cuddler,
and we played. </ P>

168
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,310
And we, like, spoons at night, and...

169
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:15,348
I will only give pins on that.
To return the second and double and say...

170
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:21,054
that the squirrel line, I would call it,
in comedy, disposable jokes.

171
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,656


172
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:26,759
I know it will laugh.
When I say:

173
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,131
"He is obsessed with squirrels,
and he also makes me like it."

174
00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:33,333
But you just keep going to the main joke.

175
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:37,937
Now I have ruined it because I returned twice
and, like, I, like, talked about it.

176
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,004
Now it's broken.

177
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,107
This isn't a joke once again. 
But that. </ P>

178
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,843
This is possible for two people
in the audience,

179
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:47,013
but I will say
the jokes that are thrown away are cool... </ p >

180
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:50,049
it's cool, like...

181
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:53,920
I play basketball.
If you are, like, during the pick-up game,

182
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,022
you make, like, shots three sweet points,

183
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:59,058
and then after that, you don't smile.

184
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,896
You go straight back to defense.

185
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:06,232
That is the same coolness. > from one-time jokes. OK. </ P>

186
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,435
So... Really? </ P>

187
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:11,171
It was never laughed at before. </ P>

188
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:15,041
Well, you don't need to cancel it.

189
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,043
Keep on laughing.

190
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,078
So, um...

191
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,415
The truth is,
me.... I have become a squirrel.

192
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,851
<And now I will take you to become a squirrel.

193
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,019
I'm not kidding.

194
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:27,153
Wait until you see.

195
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,056
>

196
00:11:31,457 --> 00:11:33,960
I learned interesting facts about squirrels...

197
00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:36,896
which I am very excited to tell you.
I got & apos; t... me & apos; m...

198
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,799
Okay, this is what it is. This is this. </ P>

199
00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:46,272
Squirrels...

200
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:50,810
can't find 80 percent
of the beans they hide. </ P>

201
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:56,382
Are you kidding me? </ P>

202
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,355
Is that the biggest thing.
Have you heard of your life? </ P>

203
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:04,190
First of all,
animals shouldn't make mistakes.

204
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,427
I made this happen.
It will explode...

205
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:11,197
Hold your skull, because of your brain.
Damn it will explode.

206
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,902
That's how to plant trees.

207
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,770
Are you kidding me?

208
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:23,176
That's how to plant trees.

209
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,446
God, or the universe,
or nature, or whatever, </ i> p>

210
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:29,515
creates this anxiety...

211
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:34,053
paranoid cokehead...

212
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,757
who thinks that everyone
wants their seeds.

213
00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,425
Nobody wants your seeds. </ P>

214
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:44,197
No one else in the world eats oak. </ P>

215
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,263
Only you. </ P>

216
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,935
That they hid it everywhere. </ P> <And then they are so messed up on coke...

217
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,405
they can only find two of every ten. </ P>

218
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,845
Squirrels plant trees. </ P>

219
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:04,350
In Israel. </ P>

220
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,020
Right. What I added.
That's not true. I added that. </ P>

221
00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:09,822
So, Mary is my dog. </ P>

222
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:16,496
And I love her. </ P>

223
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,231
And he made me become a squirrel. </ P>

224
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,833
And he's still young,
and he's full of energy. But...

225
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,437
he's dying...

226
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,173
she & sos; s dying...

227
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:31,878
in that case, it's out there. </ P> >

228
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:38,484
Maybe in two weeks.
Maybe in 12 years.

229
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:42,422
But out there, 
and it rises above me.

230
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,890
And my heart doesn't can accept it.

231
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:46,359
I made a mistake.
I shouldn't have another dog.

232
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:47,426
Too much.

233
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:53,398
I'm & apos; m...

234
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,836
Don't & apos; t judge me.
I will make him sleep now. I just...

235
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,874
I need it done. </ P>

236
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:10,316
And what do you know? In my defense...

237
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,186
within the scope of history...

238
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:18,291
did he die tomorrow when
I put him to sleep, what I did...

239
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:24,597
or he died naturally in 12 years,

240
00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:27,967
it's not even blip
in the scope of history.

241
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,302
This is exactly the same time.

242
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,038
So, I'm right. </ P>

243
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,105
And I...

244
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:38,411
And he won't die in vain,
because I will crucify him. </ P>

245
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:41,481
Oh, my God. How funny is that? </ P>

246
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,517
I don't know, he is a little,
and he has, like, long legs. </ P>

247
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:48,454
And, like, he's kind of natural Feet
doing that. </ P>

248
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:52,325
And then like:
Oh, I have to break his arm.

249
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,227
I will.

250
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,463
Listen, if you want to become a legend,
you have to suffer.

251
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:03,336
You think Jesus will be famous
if we put it like a household pet?

252
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,403
No.

253
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,407
Jesus, son of God...

254
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:09,976
die for your sins...

255
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:14,547
uh, in his sleep
While surrounded by his favorite toys?

256
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:17,183
That's ridiculous.

257
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:21,687
I will. .. Okay. </ P>

258
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,222
I will spoil. ..

259
00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:26,526
and tell a story that is just a true story.

260
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:31,397
Um... This is about one of my sisters.
I have three sisters.

261
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,033
It's about one of them.

262
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,003
Um... I won't say which one. But...

263
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,238
his name is Jodyne. </ P>

264
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,044
Um, Jodyne went to Boston University. </ P>

265
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:49,348
And if you are familiar with BU,
they have a student dormitory. </ P>

266
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:52,084
Today most universities. Um...

267
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:56,456
But they have a shared bathroom.
in the dormitory dormitory. </ P>

268
00:15:57,523 --> 00:16:02,028
And Jodyne, uh, the most drunk
she was once a student. year,

269
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:03,362
like so many new students.

270
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:11,237
And he staggered back to his room,
and he managed to make it, uh, jeans,

271
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:15,408
you know, and just fainted
with a T-shirt and underwear.

272
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:20,046
And a few minutes later,
the room began to spin.

273
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:24,684
And he ran to the bathroom ,
and he starts vomiting. </ P>

274
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,252
And he vomited. </ P>

275
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:30,389
And when he throws up, he can feel

276
00:16:30,456 --> 00:16:34,227
that someone
is pulling his clothes down. </ P>

277
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:38,531
But he can't turn around
or stop it, um,

278
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,633
because he vomits very hard.

279
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:46,038
And he vomits and vomits, 
and they pull their underwear down.

280
00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,307
This will go down.
All the way down to the ground.

281
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,478
And he finally finished vomiting,

282
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:55,248
and he whipped him.
to see who was there.

283
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:57,517
But he didn't see anyone.

284
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,686
Because he had defecate yourself.

285
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,170
That... That is a true story.

286
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:25,511
I will say...

287
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:30,216
Like, I will call it a sigh of relief.

288
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,286
p>

289
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,090
Or, like, release laughs.

290
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:41,060
I know that I am your event.

291
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:44,297
But you have to understand,
like it, you are my show. </ P>

292
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:46,799
And you are very beautiful. </ P>

293
00:17:47,366 --> 00:17:48,568
You are very... You have a lot of empathy. </ P>

294
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,237
You are very worried. </ P>

295
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,706
You can hear pin pins in this story. </ P>

296
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,608
And, you know, I understand.

297
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,410
You think he will be raped.

298
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,446
And he thinks he will be raped.

299
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,151
He thinks he will be raped .

300
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,820
And I really think about this.
And I...

301
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:14,293
I think this might be one of
the only scenarios where You can look down

302
00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:16,729
on underwear....

303
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,164
only:

304
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:22,401
Only filled with your own filth...

305
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,673
and thought, "Oh, thank God.

306
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,308
Oh, my God. </ P>

307
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,514
Oh, right, yay. "</ P>

308
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:44,690
My sister came to visit me. </ P>

309
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:48,561
Not a sister "pooping in the pants",
But, um... My oldest brother. </ P>

310
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,896
Although, I'm sure he littered his pants.

311
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:56,369
He is a Silverman, after all.

312
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:01,641
Eh, no, this is my oldest brother, Susie.

313
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,175
He is a rabbi.

314
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:05,611
He lives in Jerusalem.

315
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:08,781
Um... " Oh, my Lord, a godless comedian

316
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:12,852
and, like, a total God-man Rabbi.
Is that a sister? </ P>

317
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:16,322
What is that like? " is something
you can reflect in the car.

318
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,625
So, Susie comes to town.

319
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:23,663
And she says, "Sarah,
I met my friend Amber tomorrow. "

320
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,865
And then he told all about Amber.

321
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:27,900
He was like," Amber is amazing.

322
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,236
She was born and raised in Ethiopia.

323
00:19:30,302 --> 00:19:32,905
>

324
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,540
He is alone.
managing an orphanage there.

325
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,475
He is very inspiring.

326
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:38,277
I meet him tomorrow at 8 am.

327
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,379
And I said, "Of course, sure." You know. </ P>

328
00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,448
"Use your key.
I'll sleep. But yes." </ P>

329
00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:45,718
So, the next morning,
he forgot the key, of course .

330
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:49,255


331
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:50,856
And he knocked on the door,
and I went to open the door.

332
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:54,560
My eyes were like, glued closed.

333
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,662
And I opened the door, and he leaves.
"Sarah, this is Amber."

334
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,331
And I said,
"Amber, nice to meet you.

335
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:02,668
<" I have hear a lot about you. "
And I grabbed his hand.

336
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,371
And his hand is a hook.

337
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,308
And...

338
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,943
It's not important for the story, < br /> only for color,

339
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:15,548
his hands are hooks.

340
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:17,583
But, um... I'm too deep.

341
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,453
I'm just... I'm the one shake it.

342
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,491
And that is the wrong moment too.

343
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,461
I'm sure he will appreciate
if I'm like:

344
00:20:28,527 --> 00:20:31,564
"You have a hook for a hand.
I don't know what the etiquette is. "</ P>

345
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:35,434
And he will be like,
" Thank you for being real with me. </ P>

346
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:36,802
Nothing has ever happened to me. </ P> >

347
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,704
Yes, you can shake it, whatever. "

348
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:42,508
And then we will become true friends,
and we may have a joke,

349
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:45,344
and that's how it appears in my mind.
But...

350
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:50,916
I just shook the hook as if to say:

351
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,619
"This is what my hand feels."

352
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:55,521
Goodbye. </ P>

353
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,789
And go back to sleep. </ P>

354
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,892
And pretending it all is a neat dream. </ P>

355
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,562
Tapi Yesus Kristus, rabbi.

356
00:21:03,629 --> 00:21:06,398
He must have told me nine things.
about Amber.

357
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:14,273
Two of them should have been hooks, right?
I'm not a bastard. At a minimum

358
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:17,308
He has hooks for hands. / p>

359
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:19,979
He is amazing.

360
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:21,280
She & apos; s amazing.

361
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:22,648
He lives in Ethiopia.

362
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,383
He is running himself....

363
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,918
That makes more sense.

364
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,721
He is brilliant, he inspires.

365
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:31,757
Double back, just a reminder...

366
00:21:32,424 --> 00:21:33,559
he gets a hook for his hand.

367
00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:38,764
But not Susie, not a rabbi.

368
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:39,832
He doesn't see color.

369
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:41,667
He doesn't even look at his hands.

370
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:43,702
That's how great he is.

371
00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:49,475
I a... I'm a...

372
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,645
I am a very sexual person.

373
00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:57,016
Um... You can always tell people who have sex

374
00:21:57,082 --> 00:22:00,920
because they, um, tell you as segue

375
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:03,889
to the next bit in their stand-up action.

376
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,391
This is some kind of hint.

377
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:07,759
I am, though. I...

378
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,629
I know it's cool
talking crazy during sex,

379
00:22:10,696 --> 00:22:12,965
and I... I've tried it. </ P>

380
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:16,068
And it doesn't work for me,
because I'm just...

381
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:20,406
I found out that the truth, uh,
is blocking me, I guess .

382
00:22:20,472 --> 00:22:21,473
Like, I...

383
00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:26,912
Like, "Lord, your cock is so...
Oh no, never... That's a shadow."

384
00:22:30,482 --> 00:22:34,053
p>

385
00:22:35,487 --> 00:22:38,057
What I do, I feel like, is a crazy way.

386
00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:41,794
I like talking crazy right after having sex.

387
00:22:43,562 --> 00:22:45,998
When things calm down.

388
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:51,704
Directly on his face, really calm.

389
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:53,072
and get a rape exam now?

390
00:22:55,407 --> 00:22:56,508
Yes, what do you think?

391
00:23:01,513 --> 00:23:05,084
You think they will find your semen
all over and inside me? </ p >

392
00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:06,150
Because of me.

393
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,520
Oh, I really am.

394
00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:15,160
Maybe you should tickle my back.
Until I fall asleep.

395
00:23:15,427 --> 00:23:17,863
Is that a good idea, bastard? "

396
00:23:21,767 --> 00:23:25,537
My boyfriend's foreign, so, I understand,
Like, really nose to nose with him

397
00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:28,540
and go," USA & apos; s number one. "

398
00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:34,097
He will be like,
" Number one in what? "

399
00:23:34,713 --> 00:23:36,482
" You don't need to worry about that.

400
00:23:37,516 --> 00:23:39,652
It's important to us.
That we are number one. </ P>

401
00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,188
Diabetes is children. "

402
00:23:48,894 --> 00:23:49,995
What is the etiquette...?

403
00:23:50,062 --> 00:23:53,032
I don't know if there is, like,
anyone Emily Post-ish is here.

404
00:23:53,999 --> 00:23:59,471
But to hug postcoital, uh,
or after hugging sex, if you are stupid,

405
00:23:59,905 --> 00:24:01,440
what is that...?

406
00:24:02,508 --> 00:24:06,178
What is etiquette
on where will I put...

407
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,480
"fuck" finger "

408
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,786
Is it just straight to the side?

409
00:24:13,852 --> 00:24:16,588
Or... under the pillow? p>

410
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,591
Or just... Stop it. </ P>

411
00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:21,493
Stop it completely. </ P>

412
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,796
That...
That's what happened to Amber & Apos. </ P>

413
00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:29,101
I'm kidding, you guys. </ P>

414
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:30,469
Come on. < /p>

415
00:24:31,837 --> 00:24:32,905
Relax .

416
00:24:32,971 --> 00:24:35,074
It was a land mine when he was 7 years old.

417
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:43,015
Look, sometimes I want to end
jokes with sad truths.

418
00:24:46,752 --> 00:24:47,820
Thank you, Jodyne.

419
00:24:54,159 --> 00:24:55,494
You killed him, Sarah.

420
00:24:58,931 --> 00:25:03,802
We gave our Barbie princess doll
so they have pictures

421
00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:08,273
of what should look like 
when they grow that cannot be achieved

422
00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:10,876
so they can learn
that they are part of dirt

423
00:25:10,943 --> 00:25:12,544
and they have to commit suicide.

424
00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:14,780


425
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:17,216
This is very important.

426
00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,652
We must teach them young.

427
00:25:21,086 --> 00:25:25,657
I'm not sure, uh...

428
00:25:25,724 --> 00:25:27,960
who designed the
scheme from this Barbie doll, or Bratz doll,

429
00:25:29,628 --> 00:25:32,097
or sex worker doll.

430
00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:33,232
I am not sure who we protect.

431
00:25:34,566 --> 00:25:37,136
Uh...

432
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,871
Where obscenity exists, or...

433
00:25:38,937 --> 00:25:42,241
Okay, so, Barbie. </ P>

434
00:25:42,307 --> 00:25:45,577
Like, her legs are twice as long 
from his entire body.

435
00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:47,579
And his legs are only:
They just stand on tiptoes.

436
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,015
He can only wear high heels.

437
00:25:50,082 --> 00:25:53,218
When he takes dirt
at 3 am, he is on his heels.

438
00:25:53,786 --> 00:25:54,853
Because he's a woman.

439
00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:59,792
Her breasts... Okay.

440
00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:02,161
So, uh...

441
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:05,898
he only has, like, the big one,
fat, shiny breasts

442
00:26:05,964 --> 00:26:07,733
that makes people jerk. </ P >

443
00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:11,770
We must protect our daughters...

444
00:26:12,738 --> 00:26:15,307
from the nourishing nipples of life.

445
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,042
We... That is too obscene.

446
00:26:17,643 --> 00:26:18,811
There are no nipples .

447
00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:25,751
We can & apos; t have our daughters
see what nourishes life.

448
00:26:25,818 --> 00:26:28,253
Only parts
can get hard chicken sandwiches.

449
00:26:33,859 --> 00:26:35,027
There are no pubic hairs.

450
00:26:36,361 --> 00:26:37,763


451
00:26:37,830 --> 00:26:39,097
That can be achieved.

452
00:26:40,232 --> 00:26:42,134
You are right, audience.

453
00:26:42,201 --> 00:26:43,902
Do you know what?
Thank you for making me honest.

454
00:26:43,969 --> 00:26:46,371
Not everyone can draw that view,
but yes. </ P>

455
00:26:47,206 --> 00:26:50,108
People always want Angelina Jolie & apos; s lips. </ P>

456
00:26:50,175 --> 00:26:53,946
And I don't brag.
Basically I have Angelina Jolie & apos; s lips. </ P>

457
00:26:54,012 --> 00:26:55,714
Not all of them crack into. </ P>

458
00:26:56,215 --> 00:26:58,684
But, um, I'm in my underwear. </ P>

459
00:26:58,750 --> 00:26:59,750
But...

460
00:27:04,656 --> 00:27:06,258
That's why I like the good...

461
00:27:07,726 --> 00:27:09,695
p>

462
00:27:11,230 --> 00:27:12,931
neat but triangular...

463
00:27:14,066 --> 00:27:17,002
Shrubs are nuanced.

464
00:27:21,173 --> 00:27:22,641
That doesn't make sense technically,
but that sounds fancy.

465
00:27:27,112 --> 00:27:28,680
I do, um...

466
00:27:30,182 --> 00:27:34,786
Art reflects life. </ P>

467
00:27:34,853 --> 00:27:35,988
Okay?
And then, uh, life informs art, you know? </ P>

468
00:27:36,054 --> 00:27:40,926
But we don & t; Movies, I don & t feel like
really reflect life totally for women.

469
00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:43,328
It's more like
male & apos projections that.

470
00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:46,298
It's getting a little better,
but even in art-fartsy movies,

471
00:27:46,365 --> 00:27:49,668
like, if you see a woman masturbating.
In a scene,

472
00:27:49,735 --> 00:27:52,905
he is always on his back.
All those who dream and are sexy.

473
00:27:52,971 --> 00:27:56,942
never face down,
eyes dead and open, like that.

474
00:27:59,244 --> 00:28:00,379
This works.

475
00:28:06,218 --> 00:28:09,988
We learn what love is
from movies and television,

476
00:28:10,055 --> 00:28:11,790
and that is love that is broken for us.

477
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:15,460
Romantic comedy, all that nonsense,
that is broken love. </ P>

478
00:28:15,727 --> 00:28:19,698
Kami... Ini diajarkan kepada kita.
Bahwa kita adalah orang-orang yang tidak lengkap

479
00:28:20,299 --> 00:28:24,169
who needs to find one person.
in the whole world that will equip us. </ P>

480
00:28:24,236 --> 00:28:26,438
I promise you,
there are thousands of people

481
00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:29,441
that are very suitable.
for anyone of you. </ P>

482
00:28:30,776 --> 00:28:32,744
And I don't want to be complete...
I'm not & apos; t...

483
00:28:32,811 --> 00:28:36,915
I work really hard to be
a complete person every day, you know?

484
00:28:36,982 --> 00:28:38,850
I don & apos; t... I don't want to make you whole.

485
00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:40,052
I want you to be whole.

486
00:28:40,118 --> 00:28:42,821
I want you to be on...
And I know I just said "comes a hole."

487
00:28:48,126 --> 00:28:50,395
Another thing Barbie didn't have. </ P>

488
00:28:55,367 --> 00:28:57,936
That would be
a really strange feminist attitude. </ P>

489
00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:00,305
"Why doesn't Barbie have a hole coming?" </ P>

490
00:29:07,012 --> 00:29:09,214
"I don't know. What is that?
This is subjective." </ P>

491
00:29:13,018 --> 00:29:14,018
Recorded. </ P>

492
00:29:15,887 --> 00:29:18,924
I did a fundraiser here a few years ago

493
00:29:18,991 --> 00:29:23,128
with, um, my friend Lizz Winstead & apos; s
organization, Lady Parts Justice.

494
00:29:23,195 --> 00:29:24,997
Look.

495
00:29:25,063 --> 00:29:29,434
And, uh, that's basically...
I always say it's like, you know, um,

496
00:29:29,501 --> 00:29:31,003
"the right to vote" like that.

497
00:29:31,069 --> 00:29:34,806
But that is, technically, literally, only for women in Texas.

498
00:29:34,873 --> 00:29:37,342
Because, at that time,
every abortion clinic

499
00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:39,945
was closed in Texas.
They went down to five. </ P>

500
00:29:40,479 --> 00:29:43,081
That was because it was much worse. But, um...

501
00:29:43,148 --> 00:29:45,917
And we really
want to raise money

502
00:29:45,984 --> 00:29:47,552
to give to women in Texas

503
00:29:47,819 --> 00:29:50,422
so they can, like, hire a babysitter

504
00:29:50,489 --> 00:29:53,058
when they drive 12 hours
for an abortion.

505
00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:57,162
Or an affordable mammogram,
or, do you know You, pap smear, or whatever. </ P>

506
00:29:57,562 --> 00:30:03,001
And, uh, so, we did this show,
and there were protesters outside. </ P>

507
00:30:03,502 --> 00:30:08,940
Um, you know, " the right to live, "uh,
Westboro-y Baptist Church, NPR people.

508
00:30:09,007 --> 00:30:10,575
And... Not NPR.

509
00:30:10,842 --> 00:30:11,843
NRA.

510
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,381
That is... They are different.

511
00:30:20,419 --> 00:30:22,087
Tote bags are completely different.

512
00:30:25,857 --> 00:30:27,926
Um, and they are out of protest.

513
00:30:27,993 --> 00:30:32,597
And I won't care to them.
Because I am them.

514
00:30:32,864 --> 00:30:33,864
We are the same.

515
00:30:33,899 --> 00:30:36,034
You know,
I am the product of how I grew up.

516
00:30:36,101 --> 00:30:41,473
I was raised by a couple
of Jewish-blooded, liberal-blooded people,

517
00:30:41,540 --> 00:30:44,242
and now I am one.
And I would like to think

518
00:30:44,309 --> 00:30:46,945
that I will be there myself,
but maybe not. </ P>

519
00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:48,914
I am the product of how I grew up. </ P>

520
00:30:49,281 --> 00:30:51,917
And these people were raised
by people who loved them

521
00:30:51,983 --> 00:30:55,954
who said, "There are people out there
who want kill a baby. "

522
00:30:56,021 --> 00:30:58,490
If I were that child, I would be like,
" We have to stop them. " </ P>

523
00:30:58,557 --> 00:31:01,059
And I will be out there protesting. </ P>

524
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:05,464
So, I go outside,
and I just want to say hi

525
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:10,502
and show a warm, friendly face
to my baby killer.

526
00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:16,375
And I said, uh, "Hi, hi.
Isn't it great...? I just want to say,

527
00:31:16,441 --> 00:31:21,113
it's not good if we live in the country
Where can I use this event

528
00:31:21,179 --> 00:31:23,181
because it's something I believe in,

529
00:31:23,248 --> 00:31:26,585
and you can protest this event < br /> because of what you believe,

530
00:31:26,651 --> 00:31:30,021
and we can occupy
the same space peacefully? "

531
00:31:30,622 --> 00:31:33,191
And he said," Lord, you are right. "

532
00:31:33,258 --> 00:31:35,494
I am just kidding.
He goes," You will go to hell. "

533
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,529
And I like," Okay, nice to meet you. "

534
00:31:39,931 --> 00:31:45,170
But there is, like, a 9-year-old girl
there with a small pink cardigan.

535
00:31:45,237 --> 00:31:48,473
And she has a big...
She has a sign, like, twice his size.

536
00:31:49,174 --> 00:31:53,078
And it says, uh,
"Abortion is a bloody murder."

537
00:31:53,678 --> 00:31:58,417
And "bleed" it, like, in red paint,
dripping down.

538
00:31:59,151 --> 00:32:02,320
And that is my first time like,
"Oh, they have to go to, like,

539
00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:06,525
Michaels or Blick & apos; s
or something and buy a craft.

540
00:32:07,626 --> 00:32:09,995
Hobby Lobby, maybe. "

541
00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:11,501
And he left:

542
00:32:13,198 --> 00:32:14,633
" God hates you. "

543
00:32:16,067 --> 00:32:19,271
And I like, 
"Do you really think God hates?" </ P>

544
00:32:19,671 --> 00:32:21,506
And he went, "Yes, he hates you." </ P>

545
00:32:22,307 --> 00:32:25,110
And then... Oh, I told him doodie a joke. </ P> p>

546
00:32:25,177 --> 00:32:26,177
And he is like:

547
00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:32,984
This is truly a great unifier.

548
00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:38,423
But he is right.
Abortion does kill, like, your whole day.

549
00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:44,329
Literally suck life from you.

550
00:32:48,633 --> 00:32:53,038
Look, I know the last two jokes.
they are not smart.

551
00:32:53,104 --> 00:32:56,007
They have nothing to say .
They are just words.

552
00:32:56,074 --> 00:32:57,709
But I love them like...

553
00:32:59,110 --> 00:33:00,679
a self-aborted fetus.

554
00:33:03,014 --> 00:33:04,014


555
00:33:05,116 --> 00:33:06,117
Um...

556
00:33:06,184 --> 00:33:07,252
Enter the pin into it.

557
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:10,555
Congratulations, Texas.

558
00:33:11,289 --> 00:33:14,459
Texas is almost a third country...

559
00:33:15,060 --> 00:33:18,396
uh, but then a judge puts the kibosh on it.

560
00:33:18,463 --> 00:33:19,498
You must know this. I do not blame
for not knowing about this law,

561
00:33:20,065 --> 00:33:24,069
because we & apos; ve been...

562
00:33:24,135 --> 00:33:26,171
Only cruelty after cruelty
has come to us every day.

563
00:33:26,238 --> 00:33:29,741
But you won't believe this.
That's right.

564
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:31,743
They have a law where
if you have an abortion they declare

565
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:36,314
or have a miscarriage,

566
00:33:36,381 --> 00:33:37,649
You are responsible
pay for funeral

567
00:33:39,084 --> 00:33:39,784
for fetal tissue.

568
00:33:40,051 --> 00:33:41,051
What? </ P>

569
00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:43,354
Crazy. </ P>

570
00:33:44,222 --> 00:33:45,524
And mean. </ P>

571
00:33:45,590 --> 00:33:49,427
And I want to talk
at the funeral very badly. </ P>

572
00:33:57,269 --> 00:33:59,170
He died the way he lived. </ P>

573
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:07,112
The size of sesame seeds < br /> without brain function that can be distinguished.

574
00:34:09,147 --> 00:34:11,449
He will be returned now to the ground...

575
00:34:12,517 --> 00:34:13,618
where will he...

576
00:34:14,586 --> 00:34:16,488
I do not know ,
eaten by cricket, maybe.

577
00:34:21,192 --> 00:34:24,195
So, however, raising this fund.

578
00:34:25,764 --> 00:34:30,168
This is the problem, is religious rights
know that it will be a bear...

579
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:33,171
Not a religious right.
I think the government is now...

580
00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:37,242
knows that it will be a task to do

581
00:34:37,309 --> 00:34:42,247
to cancel <i> Roe v. Wade, </ i>
to only carry out illegal abortions at once. </ P>

582
00:34:42,314 --> 00:34:47,319
So, what they do is they throw it away
from the side, you know.

583
00:34:47,385 --> 00:34:52,357
They make small laws, laws that are not sincere,
that kind of purpose is their ability

584
00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:56,728
You know, uh, "Okay, uh, 
your clinic must have hallways

585
00:34:56,795 --> 00:34:58,296
that are 18 feet wide."

586
00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:01,099
Then clinics like, "We can & apos;...

587
00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:05,570
We don't have... I mean, it's a fee...
We can't..."

588
00:35:05,637 --> 00:35:08,506
"Well, I guess you will have to be closed, then, aren't you?" </ P>

589
00:35:08,573 --> 00:35:11,876
You know, that's very, uh, Boss Hogg
from <i> Dukes of Hazzard < / i> or something.

590
00:35:12,143 --> 00:35:14,779
You know, like,
destroying the headlights and going:

591
00:35:14,846 --> 00:35:16,726
"It looks like you can & don't drive.

592
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:19,451
Anda mendapat remuk lampu depan. "
Tepat seperti itu.

593
00:35:19,851 --> 00:35:22,554
And breaking... Uh...

594
00:35:23,321 --> 00:35:27,892
The law breeds abortion
where women have to think about it.

595
00:35:28,159 --> 00:35:30,128
Go home for three days and think about it .

596
00:35:30,528 --> 00:35:32,897
Yes, I thought I had thought about it,
fuckface.

597
00:35:33,164 --> 00:35:34,833
Or, like...

598
00:35:34,899 --> 00:35:39,571
Breaking the ultrasound, you know, 
where they put the camera into you

599
00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:44,476
and make you see ultrasound.
and see life in your uterus.

600
00:35:44,542 --> 00:35:47,278
And... Insert the pin for a while.

601
00:35:47,345 --> 00:35:50,715
Because I have other fun facts for you.
You will like it.

602
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:55,153
This is true. Scientists have known this.
for almost two decades. </ P>

603
00:35:55,220 --> 00:35:56,588
If you believe in science. </ P>

604
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:58,289
That...

605
00:35:59,190 --> 00:36:00,190
And here it is. </ P>

606
00:36:00,725 --> 00:36:03,528
Sperma dapat mencium bau.

607
00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:08,500
I know... I know sperm can...
We all know sperm can smell.

608
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:10,669
But...

609
00:36:10,735 --> 00:36:14,639
sperm cells... Shellfish by the beach.

610
00:36:14,706 --> 00:36:16,875
Sarah, come on, focus.

611
00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:18,543
It's a big night.

612
00:36:20,945 --> 00:36:22,514
<But this is serious. Sperm cells have a sense of smell. They have a sense of smell. It is true. </ P>

613
00:36:22,580 --> 00:36:26,618
And you know what that means.
That means that sperm is life. </ P>

614
00:36:27,752 --> 00:36:29,754
And you know what that means. </ P>

615
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:35,660
We have to validate that nonsense. </ P>

616
00:36:37,228 --> 00:36:38,863
And you know what that means. </ P>

617
00:36:41,266 --> 00:36:43,201
We & apos; ve gotta legislate that shit. </ P>

618
00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:49,741
We have to protect the babies. </ P> >

619
00:36:49,808 --> 00:36:52,544
I... I just want to save the unborn baby.

620
00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:55,480
That's all I'm worried about.
And this is what we will do.

621
00:36:56,247 --> 00:36:59,517
Next time you feel like
you will be jerked into a sport socks

622
00:36:59,584 --> 00:37:02,253
or under your bathroom drain or, uh...

623
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:05,924
I don't know why,
I set you as "in the stomach" of men.

624
00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:08,259
That doesn't matter, though.

625
00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:11,329
That doesn't matter.
Whatever your jerk style,

626
00:37:11,396 --> 00:37:12,564
there are no ratings here.

627
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,333
I'm right, right? Me? </ P>

628
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,935
I have a feeling.

629
00:37:19,437 --> 00:37:22,674


630
00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:23,741
If only that is super power
that can help the world.

631
00:37:25,543 --> 00:37:27,846
But...

632
00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:29,447
This is what we will do.
Before you masturbate,

633
00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:32,383
whatever style it is...

634
00:37:33,518 --> 00:37:36,721
Um... I feel like going on. Like...

635
00:37:36,788 --> 00:37:38,523
You like a hands free
Damn mattress. </ P>

636
00:37:41,526 --> 00:37:43,528
Blinks once if... I know that!

637
00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:45,029
You are entertaining me.

638
00:37:45,296 --> 00:37:46,397
You guys are good.

639
00:37:46,464 --> 00:37:47,665
All right. Come on, Sarah. </ P>

640
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,637
Before you do that,
you will come to the clinic. </ P>

641
00:37:53,371 --> 00:37:55,774
We will take the long, thin...

642
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:59,544
Like knitting-shaped needles
GoPro cameras, basically. </ P>

643
00:37:59,911 --> 00:38:04,582
This is will raise your urethra,
your penis hole.

644
00:38:04,649 --> 00:38:06,384
Up, up, up. Really the picture. </ P>

645
00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:09,921
And then down,
descends to your testicular sac. </ P>

646
00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:12,624
We will bring ultrasound around,

647
00:38:12,690 --> 00:38:15,360
and you will be able to really see

648
00:38:15,827 --> 00:38:18,363
life in your ball. </ P>

649
00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:23,434
I truly believe...

650
00:38:24,636 --> 00:38:28,006
that most men
won't even want to jerk after that.

651
00:38:28,072 --> 00:38:29,607
Dan itu adalah hal yang indah.

652
00:38:36,414 --> 00:38:37,982
Business events are very strange.

653
00:38:38,049 --> 00:38:40,852
I don't know why this is when 
it really surprised me.

654
00:38:40,919 --> 00:38:44,789
But I did an episode... A few years ago ,
I did the show, <i> The Good Wife. </ i>

655
00:38:44,856 --> 00:38:47,692
Okay? And it's like a legal drama. </ P>

656
00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:48,960
And that's very fun. </ P>

657
00:38:49,027 --> 00:38:52,630
And maybe it's because I, like it, sit
and watch lots of them shoot. </ P>

658
00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:56,367
You will never believe
how the show business walk. This is crazy. </ P>

659
00:38:56,434 --> 00:38:57,669
Like, okay. </ P>

660
00:38:58,570 --> 00:39:00,705
Let's & apos; s see if I can explain this.
Like... This & apos; s...

661
00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:05,643


662
00:39:05,710 --> 00:39:07,912
So, this scene is a big meeting room scene,
right, because this is a legal drama.

663
00:39:07,979 --> 00:39:10,748
<And they all talk. 
And all this nonsense happens in it.

664
00:39:10,815 --> 00:39:16,087
So, the first shot they did, they did a big one,
wide shots from all over the scene

665
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,089
with all the characters and everything.

666
00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:21,593
They did it several times.
Then they approached

667
00:39:21,659 --> 00:39:24,729
and they shot, like, a tight shot
where is it only, like...

668
00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:27,065
You only see, like,
three characters.

669
00:39:27,131 --> 00:39:31,035


670
00:39:31,102 --> 00:39:32,570
And when they come out of the scene,
like it, in our minds, we see the whole room

671
00:39:32,637 --> 00:39:36,407
because we have seen it before.

672
00:39:36,474 --> 00:39:37,842
But in reality, when they took the picture,
the rest of the room didn't exist; even there.

673
00:39:38,509 --> 00:39:40,912
It's like, filled with, like,

674
00:39:40,979 --> 00:39:44,048
and, you know,
all the other crap, you know.

675
00:39:44,115 --> 00:39:45,483
I don't know all the words.

676
00:39:47,552 --> 00:39:49,954
A cameraman and, uh, all that crap . </ P>

677
00:39:50,688 --> 00:39:53,958
So, it's like, uh,
Christine Baranski will leave:

678
00:39:54,025 --> 00:39:56,661
"I want the paper.
on my desk Monday morning."

679
00:39:59,797 --> 00:40:03,635
And she's really
in her skirt suit and heels.

680
00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:10,541
Christine Baranski in the ball
Because she can & apos; leave it completely,

681
00:40:10,608 --> 00:40:12,977
because there is so much dirt.
block the way.

682
00:40:13,044 --> 00:40:14,879
But he must be as low as possible

683
00:40:14,946 --> 00:40:18,549
so he doesn't block the lights > for the rest of the scene,

684
00:40:18,616 --> 00:40:21,586
for the actors who are still
at the scene. So, he is like this. </ P>

685
00:40:21,653 --> 00:40:23,021
And then Josh Charles is like:

686
00:40:23,655 --> 00:40:25,690
"He is a work.
I'll meet you Monday." </ P>

687
00:40:29,494 --> 00:40:30,995
Everything you witness is that.

688
00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:36,901
I just burp.

689
00:40:36,968 --> 00:40:38,169
I am a human.

690
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:49,147
I was, uh...
Three weeks ago, I was at a red light. </ P>

691
00:40:51,082 --> 00:40:53,117
No, enter the pin briefly.
Okay. </ P>

692
00:40:54,185 --> 00:40:57,789
I took an acting class 
when I was 10 years old in New Hampshire. </ P>

693
00:40:59,524 --> 00:41:00,558
It went together. </ P>

694
00:41:01,793 --> 00:41:05,063
And, first- first of all,
this acting teacher is evil.

695
00:41:05,129 --> 00:41:06,931
I remember he said, like, um...

696
00:41:06,998 --> 00:41:09,600
Oh, one task is,
bring your favorite song

697
00:41:09,667 --> 00:41:11,536
and, like, acting for it.

698
00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:14,706
And then I bring my favorite song,
which, like, um...

699
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:19,744
♬ <i> Only a city man </ i>
<i> Born and raised </ i>... ♬

700
00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:21,112
"Don't stop Believin & apos;."

701
00:41:21,179 --> 00:41:22,213
Sorry. </ P>

702
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:26,751
And, like,
I think the acting said it. </ P>

703
00:41:26,818 --> 00:41:27,818
So, I'm like:

704
00:41:29,687 --> 00:41:32,223
And he goes bananas to me. </ P>

705
00:41:33,591 --> 00:41:36,861
And you know, I hope at 10
I have the means to be like:

706
00:41:37,795 --> 00:41:40,198
"Do you know what?
He might go through something.

707
00:41:41,933 --> 00:41:42,967
It belongs to him."

708
00:41:44,202 --> 00:41:46,170
No. 
I don't know to do that when I was 10 years old. </ P>

709
00:41:46,237 --> 00:41:48,039
I just assumed I was part of dirt. </ P>

710
00:41:48,606 --> 00:41:50,508
But that is not a story I want to say. </ P>

711
00:41:50,575 --> 00:41:53,077
So, the first day of acting class,
he said this:

712
00:41:54,178 --> 00:41:55,178
"Acting...

713
00:41:56,881 --> 00:41:59,851
reacted."

714
00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:01,786
And I like, "What does that mean?" </ P>

715
00:42:01,853 --> 00:42:03,554
Like, "back"? </ P>

716
00:42:03,988 --> 00:42:05,990
Saya tahu "kembali" berarti lagi.

717
00:42:06,057 --> 00:42:07,892
So, I'm like, "Acting again?" </ P>

718
00:42:07,959 --> 00:42:08,959
By the way...

719
00:42:09,594 --> 00:42:11,629
Three weeks ago, I was at a red light. </ P>

720
00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:12,696
And I like:

721
00:42:13,831 --> 00:42:14,966
"Oh, react. </ P>

722
00:42:17,168 --> 00:42:18,569
Right. </ P>

723
00:42:18,636 --> 00:42:19,636
Oh yeah. </ P> >

724
00:42:20,738 --> 00:42:23,074
I agree with that, yes.
Acting is reacting. </ P>

725
00:42:24,142 --> 00:42:25,810
You should say it like that. "</ P>

726
00:42:28,713 --> 00:42:29,747
Latent. ..

727
00:42:31,215 --> 00:42:32,583
realization. </ P>

728
00:42:33,051 --> 00:42:36,220
That is the theme of this piece.
when I do my specials. </ P>

729
00:42:36,754 --> 00:42:40,591
Latent... Latent realization. Like...

730
00:42:41,192 --> 00:42:43,694
Okay, I have to go to sleep camp...

731
00:42:44,595 --> 00:42:47,598
every year since I was 6 years old. </ P>

732
00:42:48,132 --> 00:42:52,336
And, uh, that's terrible for me because I'm a wet wet bed.
Until I'm 15 years old. </ P>

733
00:42:52,603 --> 00:42:55,640
So, that is a dream bad.

734
00:42:56,607 --> 00:42:57,842
So, it was a nightmare.

735
00:42:57,909 --> 00:43:01,612
I learned a lot of skills.
Like complete dissociation.

736
00:43:03,714 --> 00:43:08,319
Make a bed on wet sheets
while I smell like pee

737
00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:11,289
and pretend like that doesn't happen.

738
00:43:13,124 --> 00:43:17,195
What kind of parents will send
a wet wet bed to a sleeping camp?

739
00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:19,030
They must be monsters. No. </ P>

740
00:43:19,864 --> 00:43:21,065
They are not monsters. </ P>

741
00:43:21,666 --> 00:43:22,900
Here & apos; s thing. Okay. </ P>

742
00:43:23,701 --> 00:43:25,002
Like, my father...

743
00:43:26,137 --> 00:43:29,807
his father beat dirt out of him
every day. </ P>

744
00:43:30,374 --> 00:43:36,214
And then during school year
he was sent to the goyim. </ P>

745
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,316
To go to school. I am sorry. </ P>

746
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:40,785
To go to school. </ P>

747
00:43:41,319 --> 00:43:42,987
And then in boarding school...

748
00:43:43,654 --> 00:43:46,224
he gets dirt kicked out of him
every day,

749
00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,992
is called dirty kike,

750
00:43:48,059 --> 00:43:49,694
because it's back when, like...

751
00:43:50,661 --> 00:43:52,029
America is great. </ P>

752
00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:54,030
And...

753
00:43:58,803 --> 00:44:00,881
And then in... All right. </ P>

754
00:44:00,905 --> 00:44:03,274
That's pretty good. </ P>

755
00:44:04,942 --> 00:44:06,777
And then in summer,

756
00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:11,215
he goes to camp and blooms

757
00:44:11,282 --> 00:44:15,119
and is a star and, like,
everything he wants.

758
00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:18,356
So, parents , they just think...

759
00:44:18,422 --> 00:44:21,092
<You know, he just thinks, 
"No, the camp is great.

760
00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:23,261
This will define it. This will be his joy.

761
00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:25,429
Because that is what it is
you know?

762
00:44:26,063 --> 00:44:27,865
So, I have to go to camp.

763
00:44:28,266 --> 00:44:31,335
And as a compromise.
he will give me a joke book.

764
00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:33,171
Because I like jokes.

765
00:44:33,237 --> 00:44:36,007
And then, too,
maybe I will be friends that way.

766
00:44:36,073 --> 00:44:38,176
So, I remember summer I was 8 years old

767
00:44:38,809 --> 00:44:41,913
because I just learned to read
when I was 7 years old. </ P>

768
00:44:42,380 --> 00:44:45,850
Someone in the audience when I was
in Vermont was like, "I was 4." </ P>

769
00:44:45,917 --> 00:44:47,418
Damn good for you. I am 7 years old. </ P>

770
00:44:48,085 --> 00:44:49,921
I learned to read when I was 7 years old. </ P>

771
00:44:50,721 --> 00:44:52,256
So, I'm 8 years old, I'm excited. </ P>

772
00:44:52,323 --> 00:44:54,225
I have a book. I will read. </ P>

773
00:44:54,292 --> 00:44:56,694
And my father has no restrictions. </ P>

774
00:44:56,761 --> 00:44:59,997
I don't know if he flipped
through this at all or not. </ P.>

775
00:45:00,431 --> 00:45:03,801
Um, but that <i> Jokes Are Really Evil </ i>
order one and two. </ P>

776
00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:09,373
And I remember the first joke <br / > on the first page.

777
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,176
That is a long paragraph,
but I can tell it in two seconds.

778
00:45:12,243 --> 00:45:15,279
That's "Little Red Riding Hood,
blah, blah, blah.

779
00:45:15,346 --> 00:45:18,049
And then the big bad wolf is like,
& apos; I will eat you. & apos;

780
00:45:18,115 --> 00:45:20,718
And then Little Red Riding Hood & apos; s like,
& apos; Eat, eat, eat. </ P>

781
00:45:20,785 --> 00:45:22,386
Does anyone make love again? & Apos; "

782
00:45:22,453 --> 00:45:24,488
And I like," What does this mean? "</ P>

783
00:45:31,896 --> 00:45:34,432
Then when I 30 years old
I like, "Oh, Jesus Christ.

784
00:45:34,498 --> 00:45:36,133
That is very inappropriate."

785
00:45:37,935 --> 00:45:41,839
He, uh... My father doesn't need... <br / > He has no restrictions. </ P>

786
00:45:41,906 --> 00:45:43,774
He is not approp... I am not really...

787
00:45:43,841 --> 00:45:46,077
He... He treats us like a bro. </ P>

788
00:45:46,143 --> 00:45:49,981
Like, um, I remember one time
when I was really young,

789
00:45:50,047 --> 00:45:51,816
he and my mother went on a date.

790
00:45:51,882 --> 00:45:55,486
And when he came home,
he, like, dropped in the front room...

791
00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:57,855
There, like, 
/> bench in the front room.

792
00:45:57,922 --> 00:46:00,524
And I sat there,
and I asked him how he went.

793
00:46:00,791 --> 00:46:02,860
And he was like,
"Oh, that is the worst.

794
00:46:02,927 --> 00:46:05,162
Uh, we should be out
with Sterlings,

795
00:46:05,229 --> 00:46:07,164


796
00:46:07,231 --> 00:46:09,333
and then only Mr. Sterling appears.

797
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,003
Because he said Mrs. Sterling
was menstruating. </ P>

798
00:46:12,069 --> 00:46:14,038
And when she got her period,
it came out like a heart. </ P>

799
00:46:19,877 --> 00:46:21,445
And I was like,
& apos; I don't need to know that. know that. "</ P>

800
00:46:21,512 --> 00:46:24,415
But my dad, um...

801
00:46:27,051 --> 00:46:28,319
Tapi ayah saya, um...

802
00:46:29,253 --> 00:46:30,521
The camp is where he developed.

803
00:46:30,788 --> 00:46:33,190
And, like, they are still his best friends
to this day.

804
00:46:33,257 --> 00:46:35,292
His best friend
is his friends from the camp.

805
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,997
And he will be 80,
and they have a reunion, even.

806
00:46:40,064 --> 00:46:44,535
And he has a picture of everything,
uh, when they become counselors.

807
00:46:45,202 --> 00:46:47,405
And that's amazing. This was from 1953. </ P>

808
00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:49,907
And I said,
"Dad, you have to send me this." </ P>

809
00:46:49,974 --> 00:46:53,210
<And he sent it to me with, like, 
glossary of who everyone is

810
00:46:53,277 --> 00:46:55,446
and what they are doing now. And it's like:

811
00:46:55,513 --> 00:46:58,516
"This is Phil Holman. He is the judge now. </ P>

812
00:46:58,582 --> 00:47:00,217
This is Arnie Goldstein. </ P>

813
00:47:00,284 --> 00:47:02,820
You know, he has House of Cloth Martin & apos. </ P>

814
00:47:02,887 --> 00:47:04,321
Ini Danny Gold.

815
00:47:05,222 --> 00:47:09,427
Danny Gold once gave Punchy Kramer a BJ
and we all watched.

816
00:47:10,594 --> 00:47:12,096
This is Cy Schwartz.

817
00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:14,165
He works at the Clam King.

818
00:47:14,231 --> 00:47:16,300
This bah, bah, bah. He is da, da, da. </ P>

819
00:47:16,367 --> 00:47:18,069
This is Morris Simon. </ P>

820
00:47:18,135 --> 00:47:20,104
This is Punchy Kramer. </ P>

821
00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,406
This, you know, blah, blah, blah. "

822
00:47:22,473 --> 00:47:25,409
I'm like,
" Daddy, open or close it. "

823
00:47:26,043 --> 00:47:27,278
He has no sense.

824
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:33,617
So, he goes to camp all the way
until he becomes a counselor.

825
00:47:33,884 --> 00:47:37,321
And, uh, you know, we think of counselors.
like, as adults.

826
00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:40,224


827
00:47:40,291 --> 00:47:44,161
But, you know, they are 16 year olds.

828
00:47:44,562 --> 00:47:46,430
So, for each camper,
he must fill out a form,

829
00:47:46,497 --> 00:47:49,166
And that would say, like, "Does he behave?

830
00:47:49,233 --> 00:47:51,268
Is he sleeping? Does he brush his teeth?

831
00:47:51,335 --> 00:47:52,970
Does he go to the bathroom?"

832
00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:56,340


833
00:47:56,907 --> 00:47:58,976
And below it is written, "L / H."

834
00:47:59,043 --> 00:48:01,445
And my father doesn't know what that means.

835
00:48:01,512 --> 00:48:04,515
But he is too shy to ask anyone.

836
00:48:05,182 --> 00:48:09,220
So, he only uses his logic,
and he is like, "Okay.

837
00:48:10,121 --> 00:48:11,956
It comes after the bathroom.
so that means...

838
00:48:17,328 --> 00:48:19,330
& apos; loose or hard. & apos; "

839
00:48:24,401 --> 00:48:28,139
So, for the summer...

840
00:48:29,607 --> 00:48:31,475
my father told the campers to pick him up...

841
00:48:33,944 --> 00:48:36,113
after they get hit...

842
00:48:40,417 --> 00:48:42,219
so he can see them...

843
00:48:44,054 --> 00:48:46,090
and make a rough estimate...

844
00:48:47,958 --> 00:48:49,393
if it's loose or hard.

845
00:48:50,461 --> 00:48:54,031
That only means there & apos; s, like, generation
of parents in therapy...

846
00:48:55,132 --> 00:48:56,132
which is like:

847
00:48:57,234 --> 00:49:01,238
"Well, I do have camp counselors.
That, like , obsessed with my annoyance.

848
00:49:01,305 --> 00:49:02,305
What is that...? "

849
00:49:04,475 --> 00:49:05,943
You are sexually abused.

850
00:49:09,713 --> 00:49:12,216
Oh, that means" house letter. "</ p >

851
00:49:15,252 --> 00:49:16,687
But thank God he didn't ask.

852
00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:18,556
That would be very embarrassing.

853
00:49:22,493 --> 00:49:25,129
My parents divorced when I was 7 years old.

854
00:49:25,196 --> 00:49:28,632
And mother I went back to campus.
To get his degree.

855
00:49:28,699 --> 00:49:30,534
And my sister is older.

856
00:49:30,601 --> 00:49:32,736
So, I got a babysat by the nuns.

857
00:49:33,003 --> 00:49:36,140
I go to, like, a nun...
A monastery, I guess. </ P>

858
00:49:36,207 --> 00:49:37,408
But it looks like...

859
00:49:38,209 --> 00:49:41,145
Like a Victorian house or something,
where the nuns are. </ P>

860
00:49:41,545 --> 00:49:42,980
And they have day care. </ P>

861
00:49:43,047 --> 00:49:45,649
And since then I have met extraordinary nuns. </ P>

862
00:49:45,716 --> 00:49:47,685
They are not them. These are cunts. </ P>

863
00:49:49,286 --> 00:49:50,387
They... They are. </ P>

864
00:49:50,454 --> 00:49:51,689
They hit us. </ P>

865
00:49:51,755 --> 00:49:55,092
That...
I've never been hit before, you know. </ P>

866
00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:57,228
And I'm very scared to them.

867
00:49:57,294 --> 00:50:01,031
Like, if we don't exist & apos; Don't sleep
on us, like, small mats during naps,

868
00:50:01,098 --> 00:50:02,600
they will hit us.

869
00:50:02,666 --> 00:50:05,002
And then, like, um, for lunch </ p >

870
00:50:05,069 --> 00:50:07,705
we'll go into the forest,
because it's New Hampshire,

871
00:50:07,771 --> 00:50:11,408
and they give us
this peanut-and-jelly jam sandwich,

872
00:50:11,475 --> 00:50:14,478
and we have to eat everything,
or they will hit us.

873
00:50:16,614 --> 00:50:18,482
And I like peanut butter and jelly.

874
00:50:20,050 --> 00:50:21,585
But this is different.

875
00:50:21,652 --> 00:50:23,254
Peanut butter and jam.

876
00:50:23,721 --> 00:50:24,721
And the jam...

877
00:50:25,522 --> 00:50:27,625
I never experienced traffic jams before.

878
00:50:27,691 --> 00:50:30,127
Like... This is different. </ P>

879
00:50:30,794 --> 00:50:33,631
It has, like, pieces in it. </ P>

880
00:50:36,066 --> 00:50:39,136
But we have to eat everything,
or they will hit us. </ P>

881
00:50:39,203 --> 00:50:40,604
I'm very scared, I...

882
00:50:41,272 --> 00:50:43,741
Because I didn't know I could take a punch.
at that time.

883
00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:46,510
And I... Okay, wait.

884
00:50:46,577 --> 00:50:47,811
Insert the pin into it.

885
00:50:48,646 --> 00:50:51,148
Put the pin on it
when I tell you something. </ P>

886
00:50:52,116 --> 00:50:56,620
This is human behavior.
That we tell ourselves horror...

887
00:50:57,187 --> 00:50:58,522
</ p >

888
00:50:59,356 --> 00:51:00,557
Horror stories.

889
00:51:00,624 --> 00:51:01,759
Horror stories.

890
00:51:01,825 --> 00:51:03,193
Horror stories.

891
00:51:04,395 --> 00:51:05,395
Horror.

892
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:07,498
Horror stories. We say to ourselves...

893
00:51:08,365 --> 00:51:10,100
I say it too often. </ P>

894
00:51:12,136 --> 00:51:14,505
We tell our own horror stories. </ P>

895
00:51:14,571 --> 00:51:17,174
That's just a human condition. </ P>

896
00:51:17,741 --> 00:51:21,512
You know, like we go, uh.
"I have to pass the crack on the road

897
00:51:21,578 --> 00:51:24,415
before the car passes me, or I'll die."

898
00:51:25,549 --> 00:51:27,451
It's not just you. That is everyone. </ P>

899
00:51:27,518 --> 00:51:29,186
Everybody does that. </ P>

900
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:32,623
My therapist says
it & apos; how do we deal with mortality. </ P>

901
00:51:33,691 --> 00:51:38,729
Um, so, I'm eating
peanut butter sandwich and jam this,

902
00:51:39,396 --> 00:51:42,633
and I tell myself horror stories.

903
00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:45,235
And the horror story is...

904
00:51:45,769 --> 00:51:49,206
This jam is nuns & apos; period of blood.

905
00:51:55,813 --> 00:51:58,749
But I have to eat it all.
I am very afraid of being beaten.

906
00:51:58,816 --> 00:51:59,850
I eat it like this.

907
00:52:02,820 --> 00:52:04,888
And I devour it. 
I don't know what...

908
00:52:06,724 --> 00:52:08,392
put it in my head that...

909
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:15,165
jam will, you know, have, like,
chunky hearts like pieces in it.

910
00:52:18,869 --> 00:52:22,439
Okay, I'll try
to tell this story.

911
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:24,675
I almost died this summer.

912
00:52:24,742 --> 00:52:26,543
I really almost die this summer.

913
00:52:26,610 --> 00:52:28,345
I, um... I'm on the road.

914
00:52:28,912 --> 00:52:30,414
Having a sore throat is a pain.

915
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:31,849
Don't think much about that.

916
00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:34,785
The type turns cold,
that kind of thing.

917
00:52:35,352 --> 00:52:37,921
Uh, then I go home, 
and I feel the same sore throat again.

918
00:52:38,188 --> 00:52:40,791
So, I went, "Ehh, I'm home.
I'll go to the doctor."

919
00:52:40,858 --> 00:52:42,292
What I never did.

920
00:52:42,359 --> 00:52:43,594
So, I went to doctor.

921
00:52:44,395 --> 00:52:47,164
And, uh, he made me wait.
like it, a long time.

922
00:52:47,231 --> 00:52:49,800
And I'll go, like,
"Oh, fuck with this." But I stay there. </ P>

923
00:52:50,801 --> 00:52:52,669
He looked at my throat, and he was like:

924
00:52:52,736 --> 00:52:54,538
"We will go to the emergency room." </ P>

925
00:52:54,605 --> 00:52:58,842
I have....
Like abscesses at the top...

926
00:52:59,777 --> 00:53:03,480
wind pipes, which
your breathing comes from.

927
00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:08,452
So, um, like, this abscess is also < br /> will grow another millimeter

928
00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:12,189
and stop my breath and I will die,

929
00:53:12,256 --> 00:53:13,924
or it will explode,

930
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:16,860
and it is filled with poison, 
and that will kill me.

931
00:53:17,561 --> 00:53:18,429
Um...

932
00:53:18,495 --> 00:53:21,565
Don tt be scared. It & apos; s really rare.
It & apos; s not going to happen to you. </ P>

933
00:53:21,632 --> 00:53:23,901
Except that, I think. </ P>

934
00:53:23,967 --> 00:53:24,967
But...

935
00:53:25,836 --> 00:53:27,805
So, I have to go to the hospital. </ P>

936
00:53:27,871 --> 00:53:33,510
And then, um, they put me down,
like, a general...

937
00:53:33,577 --> 00:53:35,879
Like... Some kind of medicine

938
00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:38,949
just to relax me before surgery.

939
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:41,518


940
00:53:41,585 --> 00:53:45,522
And, like, without my knowledge,

941
00:53:45,589 --> 00:53:48,258
they told me, uh, Amy's friends
and my girlfriend, Michael,

942
00:53:48,325 --> 00:53:50,461
they are like, um,
"This is a very dangerous operation.

943
00:53:50,527 --> 00:53:52,796
He might not succeed.

944
00:53:52,863 --> 00:53:55,566
You know, it's very risky."
Bla, blah, blah. </ P>

945
00:53:55,632 --> 00:53:59,002
Meanwhile, I feel fine. </ P>

946
00:53:59,269 --> 00:54:01,271
And I like, "I'm not tall enough." </ P>

947
00:54:01,338 --> 00:54:06,543
And I can tell you exactly what happened
because Amy really doesn't like

948
00:54:06,610 --> 00:54:08,712
to record all of this.

949
00:54:09,413 --> 00:54:10,413
So... </ p >

950
00:54:11,982 --> 00:54:14,518
You only see me like,
"I'm not tall enough."

951
00:54:14,585 --> 00:54:16,353
And then they are like, "You're fine."

952
00:54:16,420 --> 00:54:19,623
And then I proved to them.
That I am not tall enough,

953
00:54:19,690 --> 00:54:22,693
um, by explaining Brexit. </ P>

954
00:54:24,795 --> 00:54:27,664
And it's very nuanced,
and I have an opinion. </ P>

955
00:54:27,731 --> 00:54:29,466
That, like, is absolutely perfect. </ P>

956
00:54:29,533 --> 00:54:31,835
Like, You can hear
the anesthesiologist leave, like:

957
00:54:31,902 --> 00:54:33,637
"Wow, he's right." </ P>

958
00:54:34,438 --> 00:54:35,438
And, um...

959
00:54:36,340 --> 00:54:39,610
And then, uh, you see me.
likes, getting pushed out.

960
00:54:39,676 --> 00:54:43,680
And then, um, like, Michael and Amy
can't come with me,

961
00:54:43,747 --> 00:54:46,483
likes, past the operating room door.
or whatever. </ P>

962
00:54:46,550 --> 00:54:50,921
So, when I left, I said to Michael...
Which one do we want to do,

963
00:54:50,988 --> 00:54:53,423
if the elevator door is closed
or something:

964
00:54:53,490 --> 00:54:54,858
"I want to see someone else."

965
00:54:54,925 --> 00:54:55,925
And then...

966
00:54:58,629 --> 00:55:02,933
And then the last thing you see
on the video that is I looked at his cellphone

967
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:06,069
and went like, "Play this in slow motion
on my death reel."

968
00:55:06,336 --> 00:55:07,336
So, um...

969
00:55:08,939 --> 00:55:12,509
So, then I underwent this operation.

970
00:55:12,576 --> 00:55:14,711
And I stayed. And, um...

971
00:55:15,546 --> 00:55:18,448
But it's really... It's a tough week

972
00:55:18,515 --> 00:55:22,653
because I have very low blood pressure.
I think. </ P>

973
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:25,622
And so,
they can't make me sleep for that. </ P>

974
00:55:26,089 --> 00:55:28,325
And so, I have to...

975
00:55:28,392 --> 00:55:32,062
After the operation was carried out.
they put a breathing tube into my throat.

976
00:55:32,696 --> 00:55:36,533
And then because it was human nature.
if you wake up

977
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:39,703
to pull something that is in your throat,

978
00:55:40,103 --> 00:55:42,773
they have to tie my hand down.

979
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:45,842
So, every time I wake up,

980
00:55:45,909 --> 00:55:48,779
I'll go to drag this thing.
Get out of my throat.

981
00:55:48,845 --> 00:55:51,682
And then I will see that my hand
is tied,

982
00:55:51,748 --> 00:55:54,651
and then I just think
what people will think

983
00:55:54,718 --> 00:55:57,888
in that situation, which one.
"I have been captured by ISIS."

984
00:55:59,056 --> 00:56:00,524
And it's very scary.

985
00:56:00,591 --> 00:56:03,393
And then a sister must come
to me aside and be like,

986
00:56:03,460 --> 00:56:05,495
"Sweet, you're fine.
You just had surgery.

987
00:56:05,562 --> 00:56:08,765
They must have your hands... "
You know, and then I will understand.

988
00:56:08,832 --> 00:56:11,868
And then I will fall asleep,
and one minute later I will wake up

989
00:56:11,935 --> 00:56:13,837
and everything will happen again.

990
00:56:13,904 --> 00:56:15,105
And it's very scary.

991
00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:17,507
That is a nightmare. I don't remember...

992
00:56:17,574 --> 00:56:21,878
Like , I'm awake,
but I don't remember anything.

993
00:56:21,945 --> 00:56:24,414


994
00:56:24,481 --> 00:56:25,481
And there are some funny stories.

995
00:56:27,417 --> 00:56:28,719
Like, um...

996
00:56:28,785 --> 00:56:30,921
>

997
00:56:30,988 --> 00:56:32,656
I will really itch.

998
00:56:32,723 --> 00:56:34,691
The medicine inside me is very itchy.

999
00:56:34,758 --> 00:56:37,594
But my hand is tied up.

1000
00:56:37,661 --> 00:56:38,962
And my sister will fight < br /> with nurses

1001
00:56:39,630 --> 00:56:41,164
just let one free hand
so I can scratch.

1002
00:56:41,932 --> 00:56:44,835
like, I have an itch, like,
just around the vagina.

1003
00:56:44,901 --> 00:56:48,105
And I... It feels...
That, like, is so much relieved.

1004
00:56:48,171 --> 00:56:51,508
And then my friend John
stands in a corner.

1005
00:56:51,575 --> 00:56:53,910
And I think... I don't remember this.
I say this.

1006
00:56:53,977 --> 00:56:55,445
I pulled my hand out

1007
00:56:55,512 --> 00:56:57,648
and then I, like, presented it to John. </ P>

1008
00:56:59,683 --> 00:57:02,119
And then, next time, like,
my hand was tied. </ P>

1009
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:03,719
And, um...

1010
00:57:05,522 --> 00:57:06,523
That I served him?

1011
00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:09,693
And then, um... He's like:

1012
00:57:11,695 --> 00:57:13,096
In my mind. I do not remember. </ P>

1013
00:57:15,465 --> 00:57:17,134
Oh, next time...

1014
00:57:18,001 --> 00:57:20,938
I was told, a nurse is in the room,

1015
00:57:21,004 --> 00:57:24,975
and I, somehow, like it. < br /> Even though I don't have a mouth or hand,

1016
00:57:25,042 --> 00:57:27,945
but I, like, make it clear to him, like,
it is an emergency.

1017
00:57:28,011 --> 00:57:31,648
I have to say something to him.
And they give me paper and pencil.

1018
00:57:31,715 --> 00:57:35,485
And I wrote,
and that is very important.

1019
00:57:35,552 --> 00:57:37,754
And I finally finished,
and then I showed him,

1020
00:57:37,821 --> 00:57:41,458
and he was seen , and it just says,
"Do you live with your mother?"

1021
00:57:41,525 --> 00:57:42,859
With a penis image.

1022
00:57:45,095 --> 00:57:46,095
And, I mean...

1023
00:57:47,931 --> 00:57:51,668
really proof that once
your conscious mind is out of the way,

1024
00:57:51,735 --> 00:57:53,971
it's just, like, a mere comic genius.

1025
00:57:56,807 --> 00:57:59,209
You, we have reached the end.

1026
00:58:02,179 --> 00:58:05,816
>

1027
00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:07,483
Do you make a scene because
you seem to know the word?

1028
00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:11,855
Thank you.

1029
00:58:13,857 --> 00:58:14,857
You are very vocal,
but in perfect numbers .

1030
00:58:20,063 --> 00:58:23,834
Like, next time you want, like, 
like, "Yay," for me or something,

1031
00:58:23,900 --> 00:58:25,669
leave & apos; s do this. You can go like this:

1032
00:58:29,106 --> 00:58:30,640
Okay, the end. </ P>

1033
00:58:30,707 --> 00:58:31,742
Did I say it correctly? </ P>

1034
00:58:34,244 --> 00:58:37,014
Now we have to, like, take your shot:

1035
00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:43,720
Um, yes, because we are here. </ P>

1036
00:58:45,088 --> 00:58:47,124
Um... Jesus will come back. </ P>

1037
00:58:48,058 --> 00:58:49,793
Oh, on my back. </ P>

1038
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,795
That's it. </ P>

1039
00:58:53,830 --> 00:58:56,166
That's water. He changed it to come. </ P>

1040
00:58:56,233 --> 00:58:59,169
How smart is that? </ P>

1041
00:59:04,141 --> 00:59:05,776
I don't know if there is a God & apos. </ P>

1042
00:59:06,243 --> 00:59:08,211
I mean, I can't imagine being there & apos; s God.

1043
00:59:08,278 --> 00:59:10,247
But I don't know.

1044
00:59:10,313 --> 00:59:11,648
You also don't know, you know?

1045
00:59:11,715 --> 00:59:14,851
But if there is a God,
that is a God like that, like,

1046
00:59:14,918 --> 00:59:17,287
is really fine with murder

1047
00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:22,659
and, uh, child- starving children
and... rotating class.

1048
00:59:22,726 --> 00:59:25,796
You know, all...
All cruelty of life.

1049
00:59:26,930 --> 00:59:27,831
I take... </ p >

1050
00:59:27,898 --> 00:59:29,166
Great spin class,

1051
00:59:29,232 --> 00:59:33,036
if you like being hit in the vagina
70 times a minute.

1052
00:59:34,237 --> 00:59:37,107
Even if it's just an ocean...

1053
00:59:37,174 --> 00:59:38,642
Thank you, Steve Agee. </ P>

1054
00:59:40,143 --> 00:59:45,682
While only white oceans
sang word-N happily. </ I> p>

1055
00:59:49,286 --> 00:59:51,988
That is because they play hip-hop music
there. </ P>

1056
00:59:52,055 --> 00:59:53,290
Do I need to say that? </ P>

1057
00:59:53,356 --> 00:59:54,925
Oh, Geez.

1058
00:59:57,060 --> 00:59:59,963


1059
01:00:03,166 --> 01:00:04,868
Do you like it,
"Is that what they did there?

1060
01:00:04,935 --> 01:00:05,935
Yes.

1061
01:00:09,139 --> 01:00:10,139
I feel...

1062
01:00:10,974 --> 01:00:13,376
I feel like fraud
Because I feel like I talk a lot about God and Jesus and all these things,

1063
01:00:13,643 --> 01:00:15,712
p>

1064
01:00:15,779 --> 01:00:18,648
about God and Jesus and all this stuff,

1065
01:00:18,715 --> 01:00:20,684
and... I'm embarrassed to admit it,
but I'll admit it.

1066
01:00:21,985 --> 01:00:23,653
I haven't read the Bible .

1067
01:00:23,720 --> 01:00:26,323
I have tried. I have tried. </ P>

1068
01:00:27,757 --> 01:00:29,659
In my defense, it cannot be read. </ P>

1069
01:00:30,327 --> 01:00:31,628
Very boring. </ P>

1070
01:00:31,695 --> 01:00:34,131
Very dense. </ P>

1071
01:00:34,197 --> 01:00:39,302
But that's & apos; s, like,
not as deep as that thought. </ P>

1072
01:00:43,406 --> 01:00:45,942
And it just sounds like super-annoying.
<i> Game of Thrones </ i> spec script or something. </ P>

1073
01:00:46,009 --> 01:00:47,277
When it returns, < i> Game of Thrones? </ i>

1074
01:00:47,344 --> 01:00:48,979
- April?
- June.

1075
01:00:49,045 --> 01:00:50,046
- June.
- June?

1076
01:00:50,113 --> 01:00:51,648
It was June.

1077
01:00:52,315 --> 01:00:53,683
Oh , My Lord. </ P>

1078
01:00:53,750 --> 01:00:54,784
I like it very much. </ P>

1079
01:00:54,851 --> 01:00:55,919
It's not perfect. </ P>

1080
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,188
It's not perfect, though.

1081
01:00:58,255 --> 01:01:02,659


1082
01:01:04,027 --> 01:01:05,896
Like them... & apos; Cause, look,
everyone uses 900 pounds of armor. </ P>

1083
01:01:06,796 --> 01:01:08,331
Then there's nothing from here to here. </ P>

1084
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:13,170
They only have this area to breathe. </ P>

1085
01:01:13,236 --> 01:01:14,871
You know what is the number one cause p> Slit throat.

1086
01:01:15,772 --> 01:01:17,307
I just said, there & apos; sa blacksmith in
past fiction that was supposed to be fired.

1087
01:01:18,708 --> 01:01:20,243
The application that I did Twitter with,
I can, um...

1088
01:01:22,078 --> 01:01:25,448
I only heard so old said that.

1089
01:01:29,119 --> 01:01:32,822
Aplikasi yang saya lakukan Twitter dengan,
Saya bisa, um...

1090
01:01:34,024 --> 01:01:35,859
Saya hanya terdengar begitu tua mengatakan itu.

1091
01:01:35,926 --> 01:01:38,295
The application I did Twitter with,

1092
01:01:39,196 --> 01:01:42,232
was like I could schedule a tweet. </ P>

1093
01:01:42,299 --> 01:01:45,368
What I like, because sometimes
I will think of two, three tweets. </ P>

1094
01:01:45,435 --> 01:01:46,937
I don't want to damage you. </ P>

1095
01:01:47,270 --> 01:01:48,405
I gave them space. </ P>

1096
01:01:49,839 --> 01:01:52,909
Years ago now,
early Twitter, practically,

1097
01:01:53,810 --> 01:01:55,212
I scheduled a tweet. </ P>

1098
01:01:56,913 --> 01:02:01,184
I scheduled it for 8:05 a night Pacific Time. </ P>

1099
01:02:01,251 --> 01:02:02,485
Why would I remember that? </ P>

1100
01:02:03,787 --> 01:02:06,389
Because at 8 pm Pacific Time...

1101
01:02:07,424 --> 01:02:10,093
we captured and killed Osama bin Laden. </ P>

1102
01:02:12,028 --> 01:02:13,897
Twitterverse is burned. </ P>

1103
01:02:15,966 --> 01:02:17,434
At 08.05...

1104
01:02:19,936 --> 01:02:21,371
I tweeted:

1105
01:02:23,306 --> 01:02:26,176
"Why do my dogs & doodies get cold?" </ P>

1106
01:02:34,251 --> 01:02:37,454
Let me remind you,
I schedule the tweet.

1107
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:39,256
That is how well I think that is.

1108
01:02:41,791 --> 01:02:44,394
And I feel a little like Peter Sellers
in <i> Being There. </ i>

1109
01:02:44,461 --> 01:02:49,065
Like, people put deeper into me.
than I am at all.

1110
01:02:49,132 --> 01:02:52,102
I'm sure there are people.
who saw the tweet and like:

1111
01:02:52,168 --> 01:02:55,171
"Do you know what? It's cold.
But that is our job." </ P>

1112
01:03:04,447 --> 01:03:06,349
Okay, this is how I will end. </ P>

1113
01:03:09,252 --> 01:03:11,888
I suspect this is
A pretty godless crowd. </ P>

1114
01:03:11,955 --> 01:03:16,326
Um, I like... I have been on the road,
and I want to end by asking whether there & apos...

1115
01:03:16,393 --> 01:03:18,528
Now I feel like a bully
because it's so godless.

1116
01:03:18,795 --> 01:03:21,097
Usually when I'm somewhere else <br / > country,

1117
01:03:21,164 --> 01:03:22,899
I'm the only godless person,

1118
01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:24,801
and then I don't feel like a bastard.

1119
01:03:25,468 --> 01:03:28,872
But is there anyone here
who believes in God?

1120
01:03:28,938 --> 01:03:32,375
Don't like it, "I believe there is something." < br /> I mean, like, organized religion.

1121
01:03:32,442 --> 01:03:36,012
Like Christianity, Muslims, Jews,
bah, bah, bah...

1122
01:03:36,579 --> 01:03:39,949
You have, like, five seconds
to raise your hand, if you are close.

1123
01:03:40,817 --> 01:03:41,985
Yes, I don't think so.

1124
01:03:42,052 --> 01:03:43,052
Really?

1125
01:03:43,386 --> 01:03:46,890
Can you approach me?
So I'm in the light?

1126
01:03:47,290 --> 01:03:49,192
But get on stage.

1127
01:03:49,592 --> 01:03:50,960
What is your religion?

1128
01:03:51,027 --> 01:03:53,396
Uh... I'll say I'm a Christian.

1129
01:03:55,398 --> 01:03:57,934
You will say you are a Christian?

1130
01:03:58,001 --> 01:04:00,470
There are & # 39; s, like,
many different words that we can use.

1131
01:04:00,537 --> 01:04:01,538
I am Protestant.

1132
01:04:01,604 --> 01:04:04,074
I might classify myself
as a Lutheran. </ P>

1133
01:04:05,075 --> 01:04:06,009
All right. </ P>

1134
01:04:06,076 --> 01:04:07,076
Okay. </ P>

1135
01:04:08,178 --> 01:04:09,612
What's your name, sir? </ P>

1136
01:04:09,879 --> 01:04:11,381
- Troy.
- Hi, Troy. </ P>

1137
01:04:11,448 --> 01:04:13,116
- Hi.
- Thank you for doing this. </ P>

1138
01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:14,351
It's very brave. </ P>

1139
01:04:15,018 --> 01:04:16,886
We are in Los Angeles. This is very godless. </ P>

1140
01:04:16,953 --> 01:04:18,955
I attract godless people. </ P>

1141
01:04:19,022 --> 01:04:21,991
So, I don't want you to feel disturbed.
or something. </ P>

1142
01:04:22,058 --> 01:04:24,894
It's okay.
I raise my hand voluntarily. </ P>

1143
01:04:24,961 --> 01:04:26,529
What do you say your name is? Troy? </ P>

1144
01:04:26,596 --> 01:04:28,932
- Troy.
- Oh, alright. That is fun. </ P>

1145
01:04:28,998 --> 01:04:29,998
All right, Troy. </ P>

1146
01:04:30,433 --> 01:04:32,202
I would love to ask this question. </ P>

1147
01:04:32,268 --> 01:04:34,537
I am very happy there & apos; God here.

1148
01:04:35,205 --> 01:04:36,940
All right, you are a Christian.

1149
01:04:37,006 --> 01:04:38,326
- Right.
- Protestant area.

1150
01:04:40,310 --> 01:04:41,544
This is a question...

1151
01:04:43,546 --> 01:04:46,983
which I think should be
one of the big questions, even.

1152
01:04:47,050 --> 01:04:48,151
Okay.

1153
01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:49,218
Yes or no...

1154
01:04:50,387 --> 01:04:53,390
can you let God enter your mouth? </ P>

1155
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:01,898
- No, no.
- No? </ P>

1156
01:05:01,965 --> 01:05:03,442
- No.
- Okay, go back to your seat. </ P>

1157
01:05:03,466 --> 01:05:05,001
Oh God, no. </ P>

1158
01:05:05,068 --> 01:05:06,102
Thank you very much .

1159
01:05:06,169 --> 01:05:07,169
Thank you, Troy. </ P>

1160
01:05:07,470 --> 01:05:09,506
No. That's amazing to me. </ P>

1161
01:05:09,572 --> 01:05:11,508
But it's not unique. </ P>

1162
01:05:12,509 --> 01:05:14,511
Not a unique answer, I will tell you that. </ P>

1163
01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:18,047
Saya akan mengatakan jawabannya harus ya.

1164
01:05:18,515 --> 01:05:22,218
Um, but I will tell you.
That's because I've traveled the country,

1165
01:05:22,285 --> 01:05:26,055
80 percent, at least,
of men say no, like Troy. </ p >

1166
01:05:26,122 --> 01:05:29,292
So, congratulations because it's not unique.

1167
01:05:29,359 --> 01:05:32,695
But it's wrong, in my opinion.

1168
01:05:32,962 --> 01:05:35,965
That is, uh, very narrow, I think.

1169
01:05:36,032 --> 01:05:39,936
You know , it's like, until now,
Troy, you said, "Lord...

1170
01:05:40,703 --> 01:05:43,973
I know that there is AIDS and rape

1171
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:46,543
and hunger and genocide and murder.

1172
01:05:46,609 --> 01:05:50,213
But I know you have a plan,
and I am your servant.

1173
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:51,514
Unless you serve come.

1174
01:05:51,581 --> 01:05:52,581


1175
01:05:56,953 --> 01:05:58,087
Then I go out. "

1176
01:06:01,157 --> 01:06:05,495
That's very petty.

1177
01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:08,131
God told Abraham to kill his son.

1178
01:06:08,198 --> 01:06:10,099
And you know what Abraham said?

1179
01:06:10,700 --> 01:06:11,968
" No problem. Chip!

1180
01:06:15,238 --> 01:06:19,108
I know, I don't read the Bible, but
everyone knows Abraham's son & apos are Chip.

1181
01:06:21,377 --> 01:06:24,714
And Abraham will kill his son.

1182
01:06:24,981 --> 01:06:28,084
And then right before he did it,
God like, "I'm joking.

1183
01:06:28,618 --> 01:06:29,752
Can I enter your mouth?"

1184
01:06:36,726 --> 01:06:40,497
Abraham & apos s like,
"Is that a test my faith? "

1185
01:06:41,731 --> 01:06:44,334
God & apos; like, "Sure. Yes."

1186
01:06:48,271 --> 01:06:51,341
And then the Lord came in Abraham...

1187
01:06:51,407 --> 01:06:55,645
This turned into fan fiction.
But God came in the mouth of Abraham.

1188
01:06:58,114 --> 01:06:59,148
p>

1189
01:07:00,183 --> 01:07:05,154
And Abraham & apos; s like:

1190
01:07:05,221 --> 01:07:08,791
"Wow, I really think.
You will stop at the last second

1191
01:07:09,058 --> 01:07:11,761
like you did with murder..."
Or I think he's like,

1192
01:07:16,599 --> 01:07:19,269
As God said, "I work in a mysterious way." </ P>

1193
01:07:20,503 --> 01:07:21,771
Thank you very much. </ P>

1194
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:39,422
- Okay.
- I am sharp as a tactic. </ P>

1195
01:07:40,323 --> 01:07:42,668
- Here it is.
- But they only put something

1196
01:07:42,692 --> 01:07:46,229
intravenously.
And that... And it feels like...

1197
01:07:47,163 --> 01:07:48,197
I'm getting taller. </ P>

1198
01:07:50,733 --> 01:07:52,101
Is it I'm getting taller? </ P>

1199
01:07:54,804 --> 01:07:56,339
It feels like...

1200
01:07:57,807 --> 01:07:59,576
This is no big deal, actually. </ P>

1201
01:07:59,642 --> 01:08:01,377
Not too intense. </ P>

1202
01:08:02,745 --> 01:08:04,547
I feel like I can give...

1203
01:08:04,614 --> 01:08:07,116
I can argue with the political side. </ P>

1204
01:08:08,117 --> 01:08:11,588
Mm-hm. So, tell me...
Talk to me through Brexit. </ P>

1205
01:08:11,654 --> 01:08:16,259
Brexit is like, you know,
the same person, uh...

1206
01:08:17,393 --> 01:08:21,130
name their children... Bentley </ p >

1207
01:08:21,197 --> 01:08:23,333
because they think it's classy.

1208
01:08:23,399 --> 01:08:25,835
They are the ones who choose Brexit.

1209
01:08:27,236 --> 01:08:31,341
Really don't know, innocent.

1210
01:08:31,407 --> 01:08:34,277
Uh...
Thinking is their best interest.

1211
01:08:34,344 --> 01:08:36,746
p>

1212
01:08:36,813 --> 01:08:43,319
They choose
completely against their best interests.

1213
01:08:44,354 --> 01:08:46,189
These things that the EU provides
their lives to make them habitable.

1214
01:08:46,556 --> 01:08:50,660
Uh, they just overthrew it. </ P>

1215
01:08:51,361 --> 01:08:52,361
And they rely on the NHS,
and that is a false promise. </ P>

1216
01:08:53,429 --> 01:08:54,430
Mm-hm. </ P>

1217
01:08:55,531 --> 01:08:56,531
Uh.

1218
01:08:57,266 --> 01:09:00,370
You know.

1219
01:09:00,436 --> 01:09:03,406
So, what are you going to do?
There are lots of Bentleys in the world.

1220
01:09:04,707 --> 01:09:06,509
Many Mercedes and Porsches.

1221
01:09:06,576 --> 01:09:09,746
And they will become strippers.

1222
01:09:09,812 --> 01:09:10,880
But some of them might be
Supreme Judge.

1223
01:09:11,714 --> 01:09:13,282
Mm-hm.

1224
01:09:13,349 --> 01:09:15,218
And I have hope. </ P>

1225
01:09:15,284 --> 01:09:17,320
We all just listen to the same thing...

1226
01:09:17,787 --> 01:09:19,689
For different lies.

1227
01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:22,484
Maybe you should...

1228
01:09:22,525 --> 01:09:25,638
- And he is still in sense too.
- Maybe you should give him more.

1229
01:09:25,662 --> 01:09:27,230
I am. I don't feel very high. </ P>

1230
01:09:27,296 --> 01:09:28,765
No, that's right. </ P>

1231
01:09:28,831 --> 01:09:30,767
No, no. That is good. You are perfect. </ P>

1232
01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:34,504
You know...
only if people are invited to talk...

1233
01:09:34,570 --> 01:09:36,372
This is what he is like
every day.

1234
01:09:36,439 --> 01:09:38,174
by people
who don't have an agenda

1235
01:09:38,241 --> 01:09:40,309
and can be honest
make serious decisions

1236
01:09:40,376 --> 01:09:43,913
based on what they think
best for themselves and the country,

1237
01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:46,683
we will be wild success around.

1238
01:09:46,749 --> 01:09:48,284
I know, right?

1239
01:09:49,218 --> 01:09:53,356
But we don't have it .
unfortunately.

1240
01:09:54,590 --> 01:09:56,325
I'm not tall at all.

1241
01:09:56,392 --> 01:09:57,927
This object is dirt. </ P>

1242
01:10:02,965 --> 01:10:03,965
Well...

1243
01:10:04,734 --> 01:10:07,203
They will roll me to the ER

1244
01:10:07,270 --> 01:10:10,206
and make me sleep for a few days
with a breathing tube. </ P> <p p>

1245
01:10:13,443 --> 01:10:14,911
Some types of new diets.

1246
01:10:14,977 --> 01:10:17,413
Is that what you expect
when you wake up?

1247
01:10:17,480 --> 01:10:19,080
It doesn't know what.
I hope.

1248
01:10:20,583 --> 01:10:23,920
- Okay.
- See you later. I love you so much. </ P>

1249
01:10:23,986 --> 01:10:25,826
- I love you.
- See you later. </ P>

1250
01:10:26,322 --> 01:10:27,523
See you on the other side. </ P>

1251
01:10:27,590 --> 01:10:29,292
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