1
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,560
Merry Christmas, sir.

2
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,680
- What can I do for you.

3
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,530
- The question is what we can do for you.

4
00:00:18,530 --> 00:00:21,090
- We're here to introduce you
to the power of Jesus Christ.

5
00:00:21,090 --> 00:00:22,670
It's only going to take a
few moments of your time.

6
00:00:22,670 --> 00:00:24,890
But the benefits
shall last you all of eternity.

7
00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:28,750
- Well, I appreciate that,
but I already know Jesus.

8
00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:30,650
Oh, that's great!

9
00:00:30,650 --> 00:00:33,230
- And Jesus and I have an understanding.

10
00:00:33,230 --> 00:00:36,540
I don't fuck with Jesus and
Jesus doesn't fuck with me.

11
00:01:47,586 --> 00:01:48,440
- Hi, Sherry.

12
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,460
Oh good morning, you must
be the new secretary.

13
00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:52,950
- Administrative assistant.

14
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:54,933
- Oh.

15
00:01:54,933 --> 00:01:57,440
- I identify as androgynous
and gender fluid.

16
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,620
When you refer to me, I
prefer you use the pronoun ze.

17
00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:03,960
- Grab me another latte, huh, sweetheart?

18
00:02:05,341 --> 00:02:08,280
Hey Carl.
- Where's Teddy?

19
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,380
- In Bermuda, yachting
with one of my clients.

20
00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:13,800
- Why are you in his office?

21
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,750
- Oh shit, they didn't tell you?

22
00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:18,750
- Tell me what?

23
00:02:21,972 --> 00:02:23,220
- Have a seat, Carl.

24
00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:33,440
When I was a boy, my father said to me,

25
00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:38,400
if you win something
with bad sportsmanship,

26
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,950
you didn't win anything at all.

27
00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:44,140
That poor bastard died a broke cuckle.

28
00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:46,283
Now Carl,

29
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,220
you've been a valuable
asset to the company

30
00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:51,410
and we really appreciate
all the things you've done

31
00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:52,930
for us throughout the years.

32
00:02:56,130 --> 00:02:58,830
But the company's moving
in a different direction.

33
00:02:58,830 --> 00:02:59,930
- What does that mean?

34
00:03:03,942 --> 00:03:06,140
- On behalf of Blumenthal,
Sanchez, and Ryan,

35
00:03:06,140 --> 00:03:08,360
we're gonna have to let you go.

36
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,850
- You stole my clients, you
stole everyone's clients.

37
00:03:17,290 --> 00:03:18,780
This breaks my heart, Carl.

38
00:03:21,140 --> 00:03:22,420
You're such a nice guy.

39
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:30,180
You keep your mouth shut
about my clients, okay?

40
00:04:03,250 --> 00:04:04,083
- Hello?

41
00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:05,120
Hey Carl, it's Ted Levine.

42
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,170
Just calling you about
the interview yesterday.

43
00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:10,580
- Oh yeah, hey.

44
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,540
Unfortunately, we've
decided we're going to move

45
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:15,140
in a different direction.

46
00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:18,979
- No look, I've been out
of work for two months.

47
00:04:18,979 --> 00:04:22,340
I could do anything, anything at all.

48
00:04:22,340 --> 00:04:25,220
I could be someone's secretary.

49
00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:27,850
I mean, administrative assistant.

50
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,180
Sorry Carl, I wish you the best.

51
00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:32,030
- Please--
- You're such a nice guy.

52
00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:45,720
- Who the hell is calling
at this hour, Carl?

53
00:04:46,690 --> 00:04:48,990
- It was just a telemarketer, honey.

54
00:05:22,315 --> 00:05:24,315
- Merry Christmas, Carl.

55
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,393
Carl.

56
00:05:32,711 --> 00:05:33,544
Carl.

57
00:05:37,883 --> 00:05:38,716
Carl.

58
00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:41,983
Carl.

59
00:05:43,931 --> 00:05:44,764
Carl.

60
00:05:46,339 --> 00:05:47,172
Carl!

61
00:05:48,112 --> 00:05:49,279
Carl, wake up!

62
00:05:50,203 --> 00:05:53,690
Hello, wake up, Carl, earth to Carl!

63
00:05:53,690 --> 00:05:56,350
You need to get up right
now and go to the office

64
00:05:56,350 --> 00:06:00,070
because the Christmas bonus
is not delivering itself.

65
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,630
The final
tiara goes to Bridget.

66
00:06:28,643 --> 00:06:31,258
- Hee-hee.
- Goddammit.

67
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,050
- I like Bridget.

68
00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:34,040
- If you could only see
the dress she's wearing,

69
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,570
you could see she's got no class.

70
00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:37,090
- She has a kind soul.

71
00:06:38,990 --> 00:06:41,610
- Only you, big bro, only you.

72
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:43,733
Oh, thanks babe.

73
00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:46,330
Just gotta run a quick errand.

74
00:06:51,138 --> 00:06:51,971
- Here you go.

75
00:06:51,971 --> 00:06:53,050
- Thanks Jen.

76
00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,970
Pancakes.

77
00:07:05,780 --> 00:07:08,420
- Oh shit, I forgot my phone.

78
00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,830
- Hey Carl, it's Brett, I'm
in your neck of the woods,

79
00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:32,480
wanted to run something by you

80
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,880
before we went to Grandpa's house.

81
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:34,730
See you in a bit.

82
00:07:44,261 --> 00:07:46,024
- Hey, Ray, hey.
- Hey.

83
00:07:46,024 --> 00:07:47,150
- Hey, Jerry.
- Right.

84
00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:50,520
- Jerry Ryan I work with--
- With Carl, yeah, yeah.

85
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:51,353
- Happy Hanukkah.

86
00:07:51,353 --> 00:07:52,970
- Yeah, no, happy holidays.

87
00:07:52,970 --> 00:07:55,120
- Right, I was actually just stopping by

88
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:55,980
to see the bastard now.

89
00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:56,900
Is he up there?

90
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:59,340
- Oh shit, he didn't tell you?

91
00:08:00,370 --> 00:08:02,490
They let him go a couple of months ago.

92
00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:04,700
Yeah, they got some prick
from Harvard or Yale

93
00:08:04,700 --> 00:08:07,050
doing his job at half the salary.

94
00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:08,296
- Really?

95
00:08:08,296 --> 00:08:09,129
- Yeah, I heard that poor
bastard ain't even found

96
00:08:09,129 --> 00:08:10,740
a job, yet, man.

97
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:11,720
It's a tough market.

98
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,740
It's fucking dog-eat-dog.

99
00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:14,920
Anyway, woof.

100
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:18,420
All right, happy holidays,
pal, happy holidays.

101
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:19,253
- Right.

102
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:41,030
- Hey honey.

103
00:08:41,030 --> 00:08:42,580
- I can't find my wedding ring.

104
00:08:43,710 --> 00:08:46,220
- Oh no, geez.

105
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,850
Well, I noticed you haven't
been wearing it lately.

106
00:08:49,850 --> 00:08:51,200
Have you seen it?

107
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,100
- No, I, uh, no.

108
00:08:55,030 --> 00:08:56,590
I mean, did you check in the jewelry box?

109
00:08:56,590 --> 00:08:58,190
- Of course I checked the jewelry box.

110
00:08:58,190 --> 00:08:59,850
You don't think I checked the jewelry box,

111
00:08:59,850 --> 00:09:01,771
the one place the ring belongs?

112
00:09:01,771 --> 00:09:02,840
In the jewelry box.

113
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,400
- Yeah, yeah, sorry.

114
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,610
Well, I'm sure it'll turn up.

115
00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:09,540
Are you packed and ready
to go to Grandpa's?

116
00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:11,040
- Well, did you get the bonus?

117
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:15,520
- Honey, you're gonna be mad.

118
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:16,353
What?

119
00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:23,640
- I, well, they said, Jerry
said there was supposed to be

120
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,070
a guy in the office from payroll today,

121
00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:27,880
but he didn't show up.

122
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,600
- Okay, I wanna talk to your boss.

123
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,860
Because if you're not gonna
be man enough to handle this,

124
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:32,693
then I will handle it.

125
00:09:32,693 --> 00:09:33,580
I wanna talk to Teddy.

126
00:09:33,580 --> 00:09:36,550
- He's not here, Leigh,
it's Christmas Eve.

127
00:09:36,550 --> 00:09:37,460
No one's here.

128
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:40,280
- We are late on the mortgage, Carl.

129
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,860
You told me that they promised you

130
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:44,150
the Christmas bonus today.

131
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:44,983
Seriously?

132
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,180
- Leigh! Leigh!

133
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,340
- You the guy from Craigslist?

134
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:36,280
- Why are you wearing a mask?

135
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,160
- Why are you wearing a mask?

136
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,360
- Just trying to be discreet

137
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,980
on the off chance that we know each other.

138
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:43,350
- All right, small world.

139
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:52,330
You got the ring?

140
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,420
Ah, yeah, look at that.

141
00:10:58,420 --> 00:11:00,790
My mamacita's gonna melt my butter

142
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,060
when she sees this sparkling baby.

143
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:04,910
- You never said why
you're wearing a mask.

144
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:07,060
- Yeah, because I'm
here to fucking rob you.

145
00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:07,893
- No, no, no, no!
- Give me the money.

146
00:11:07,893 --> 00:11:09,378
- Give me the money!
- It's Christmas!

147
00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:12,533
- No, no, no!
- Merry Christmas.

148
00:11:12,533 --> 00:11:13,683
- Oh my God, oh my God.

149
00:11:18,588 --> 00:11:19,505
Fuck. Fuck.

150
00:11:40,821 --> 00:11:43,043
♪ On the fifth day of Christmas ♪

151
00:11:43,043 --> 00:11:45,373
♪ My true love gave to me ♪

152
00:11:45,373 --> 00:11:49,335
♪ Five gold rings ♪

153
00:11:49,335 --> 00:11:52,098
♪ Four calling birds, three French hens ♪

154
00:11:52,098 --> 00:11:53,871
♪ Two turtle doves ♪

155
00:11:53,871 --> 00:11:58,538
♪ And a partridge in a pear tree ♪

156
00:11:58,538 --> 00:12:02,626
♪ On the 11th day of Christmas ♪

157
00:12:02,626 --> 00:12:04,491
♪ My true love gave to me ♪
- Okay, enough.

158
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,480
- Enough, thank you.

159
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:12,660
What's that smell?

160
00:12:14,925 --> 00:12:19,092
♪ And a partridge in a pear tree. ♪

161
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,087
Doesn't look
like Grandpa's home.

162
00:12:58,087 --> 00:12:58,950
Are you sure he's here?

163
00:12:58,950 --> 00:13:01,208
No, no, no, he said
he had a doctor's appointment.

164
00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:03,664
She's gonna leave the door open.

165
00:13:22,353 --> 00:13:25,190
- Look at these architectural details.

166
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:26,760
This woodwork is phenomenal.

167
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,500
- Well, there's water
damage in both bathrooms.

168
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,860
It looks like he hasn't
cleaned this place in 20 years.

169
00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:34,640
- It's a fixer-upper, I'll grant you that.

170
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,570
But you can't ignore
the comfy, cozy quality

171
00:13:37,570 --> 00:13:39,400
of this bucolic beauty.

172
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,620
I mean, just think of the
dinner parties we'll have here.

173
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,630
All our friends coming up here to visit us

174
00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:46,490
in this regal, A-frame chateau.

175
00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:49,790
Now would you please give me
a little something-something

176
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:51,490
under this yuletide mistletoe, hm?

177
00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:58,620
- Hello!
- Hey, Merry Christmas, Leigh.

178
00:13:58,910 --> 00:13:59,790
- Hello, Leigh.

179
00:14:01,026 --> 00:14:01,880
- Merry Christmas, Jen.

180
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,200
Aren't you festive in your
little holiday sweater,

181
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,309
you Christmasy thing, you.

182
00:14:06,309 --> 00:14:08,350
- Not nearly as festive as you, Leigh.

183
00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:09,900
- Well, just trying to bring holiday cheer

184
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:12,630
to the royals in their future castle.

185
00:14:12,630 --> 00:14:14,050
- It's more of a dungeon.

186
00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:15,900
- Hey, Merry Christmas, Carl.

187
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:16,900
- Merry Christmas.

188
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,510
- I'm glad you brought your horn.

189
00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:22,880
- Yeah, I figured I'd
set the mood for romance

190
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,510
in front of the ladies later on.

191
00:14:24,510 --> 00:14:27,490
- Nice, you gonna break
us out with some Kenny G?

192
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:28,750
I'm breaking your balls.

193
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:29,840
You look good, pal.

194
00:14:31,050 --> 00:14:32,080
Hey, any word from Grandpa?

195
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:32,913
How's he doing?

196
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,450
- So the doctors just wanted
to run some last-minute tests

197
00:14:35,450 --> 00:14:37,970
on his arrhythmia, but turns
out he's healthy as a lark,

198
00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:39,510
God bless his soul.

199
00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:41,380
- It's healthy as a horse.

200
00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:44,040
- Whatever.

201
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,990
- Happy as a lark.

202
00:14:45,990 --> 00:14:47,160
- What's a lark?

203
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:48,860
- It's a festive little woodland bird.

204
00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:52,040
They grace the forest with
their graceful morning songs.

205
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,390
That's where the saying comes from.

206
00:14:54,390 --> 00:14:57,230
I guess they're pretty
happy-go-lucky little creatures.

207
00:14:57,230 --> 00:15:00,600
- You are just a plethora
of useless information,

208
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,200
aren't you, Carl?

209
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,000
Now would you tote the bags, please?

210
00:15:05,150 --> 00:15:07,250
- Nothing wrong with having
an appreciation for nature

211
00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:08,790
that I'm aware of.

212
00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:09,623
- What?

213
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,280
So, anyway, uh,

214
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,100
I was thinking we should just
have the business conversation

215
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:20,700
up front, so it's not looming
over us all weekend long.

216
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:23,520
I know it's a little awkward
that Grandpa's giving us

217
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,500
the 2.2 million and you guys are getting

218
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,470
this really cute house.

219
00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:29,490
But I was thinking, you know,

220
00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:32,190
maybe we should just respect
his judgment and move on.

221
00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:35,110
- We've moved on, Leigh.

222
00:15:36,178 --> 00:15:38,830
- Oh great, we need to
get a Christmas tree up

223
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:40,078
in this house.

224
00:15:43,196 --> 00:15:45,370
So, what's it like taking care of Ray?

225
00:15:45,370 --> 00:15:49,180
- Ugh, he eats and shits like a gorilla.

226
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:51,620
It's like taking care of a zoo animal.

227
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:54,520
There, I said it, terrible.

228
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,830
- You're a saint, Jen.
- Mm-mm.

229
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,110
- It drives me to drink.

230
00:15:58,110 --> 00:16:00,520
And don't even get me started on Brett.

231
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,250
- Why, what's wrong?

232
00:16:04,177 --> 00:16:05,420
- He goes off at night to write.

233
00:16:05,420 --> 00:16:07,210
God knows where he really goes.

234
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,070
- You don't think Brett's...

235
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,574
No way, what, with who?

236
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,478
- I don't wanna to think
about that, okay, Leigh?

237
00:16:16,478 --> 00:16:17,311
- Okay.

238
00:16:23,908 --> 00:16:25,460
If it makes you feel any better,

239
00:16:25,460 --> 00:16:29,000
I thought Carl was cheating
on me a few years back.

240
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,470
- Carl would never cheat, you
have him on a choke chain.

241
00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:33,340
- I'm telling you, I kept catching him

242
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:34,740
in all these little white lies.

243
00:16:34,740 --> 00:16:38,370
So one day, I trailed the
bastard on the way to work.

244
00:16:38,370 --> 00:16:42,270
I watch as he walks into
this garden-level apartment.

245
00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:43,780
Lights turn on.

246
00:16:43,780 --> 00:16:47,380
He sits down, and some guy walks over

247
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:50,190
and starts running his
fingers through Carl's hair.

248
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:53,847
And then I look over and I see the sign.

249
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:57,530
Dr. Lipschitz, Cosmetic Surgeon.

250
00:16:57,530 --> 00:16:59,290
Yeah, I caught the bastard, all right.

251
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:02,340
He was having hair implantation surgery.

252
00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:03,450
- Carl has plugs?

253
00:17:03,450 --> 00:17:06,700
- Yeah, don't you ever tell anyone.

254
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,680
- But he's got such great hair.

255
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,180
- Well, now you know why.

256
00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:18,430
- This place is really nice.

257
00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:20,360
You got lovely old school charm.

258
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:23,080
- Don't bullshit me, Carl,
this place is a fucking dump.

259
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,600
Hey, did you get a haircut or something?

260
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:25,710
Looks different.

261
00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:28,770
- Oh, I started combing it different.

262
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:30,230
Does it look okay, or?

263
00:17:31,573 --> 00:17:33,760
- Yeah, it's good, it's
a good look for you.

264
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,580
Let's get that fireplace cracking, Carl.

265
00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:42,450
- How did you get away with it?

266
00:17:42,450 --> 00:17:44,920
I mean, how did you tell
Jen you got laid off?

267
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,550
- Laid off, Carl, I volunteered.

268
00:17:47,550 --> 00:17:49,286
I told my boss if it came down to mine

269
00:17:49,286 --> 00:17:51,290
or someone else in my department's head

270
00:17:51,290 --> 00:17:54,350
going on that chopping
block, let it be mine.

271
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,630
I obviously never told Jen that,

272
00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:58,560
but that's how it all went down.

273
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,130
That's on the DL, by the way.

274
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:01,970
- Oh yeah, I'd never say anything.

275
00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:06,910
- Carl, I'm gonna say
something right now that's,

276
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,630
it's a funny thing to say out loud.

277
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,140
And I'm only admitting
to it because I know

278
00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:13,190
that you'd never say
anything to the wifeys.

279
00:18:13,190 --> 00:18:14,080
- Of course not.

280
00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:18,154
- I've been having all
these crazy dreams lately

281
00:18:18,154 --> 00:18:21,233
about what it might be
like to euthanize Grandpa.

282
00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:24,210
What?

283
00:18:24,210 --> 00:18:26,070
- Don't bullshit me, Carl.

284
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:28,660
I know you've been having them, too.

285
00:18:28,660 --> 00:18:30,850
You got that 2.2 mill
coming down the pipe.

286
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:34,480
Let's think, that longevity
on that side of the family.

287
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:38,413
Come on, new hip here,
heart surgery there.

288
00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:41,690
Putting him in a fucking home?

289
00:18:41,690 --> 00:18:42,880
Carl, that leaves your inheritance

290
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,800
like it's a blue plate special.

291
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,020
And you're telling me you
haven't had any dreams?

292
00:18:50,376 --> 00:18:51,340
- What?

293
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,560
- Come on, Carl, we're fantasizing.

294
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,270
In my fantasy,

295
00:18:58,270 --> 00:18:59,870
I usually get him with a little rat poison

296
00:18:59,870 --> 00:19:00,930
in his prune juice.

297
00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:04,000
It's the least detectable.

298
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,910
I mean, not that they'd
ever do an autopsy.

299
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:10,650
They rarely do on the elderly.

300
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,100
They just assume they go
out on their own accord.

301
00:19:14,190 --> 00:19:15,110
So what about you?

302
00:19:17,057 --> 00:19:17,890
How have you been getting?

303
00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:23,720
- I, uh, I can't believe
I'm telling you this.

304
00:19:26,052 --> 00:19:27,780
I pushed him down the stairs.

305
00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:29,010
- Nice.

306
00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:31,370
No fingerprints, smart.

307
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:33,633
What else?

308
00:19:34,726 --> 00:19:37,090
- I suffocate him with his pillow.

309
00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:38,580
- You animal.

310
00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:41,150
- Oh, and I bludgeon him with an anvil.

311
00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:42,750
Is that cliche?

312
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:46,270
Carl, you're a scary guy,
you're scaring me.

313
00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:47,490
- You're a crazy guy.

314
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,410
- It's fun talking about
stuff like this, isn't it?

315
00:19:51,410 --> 00:19:53,650
It's fun to fantasize.

316
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,790
- It's sick is what it is.

317
00:19:55,790 --> 00:19:58,097
We're a couple of sick puppies.

318
00:20:06,210 --> 00:20:07,320
- It just seems like you're always getting

319
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,130
the shit end of the stick, Carl.

320
00:20:09,130 --> 00:20:10,380
And it breaks my heart.

321
00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:13,570
I mean, you're my brother-in-law
and I care about you,

322
00:20:13,570 --> 00:20:14,910
I really do.

323
00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:17,150
- I care about you, too.

324
00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:17,983
So what are you saying?

325
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:19,810
- I'm saying I drove
over here a few weeks ago

326
00:20:19,810 --> 00:20:21,220
to take care of things.

327
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,220
- Take care of what?

328
00:20:23,268 --> 00:20:24,760
- What have we been talking about, Carl?

329
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,530
I came here to stake our
claim, to put him to sleep.

330
00:20:28,530 --> 00:20:30,480
- Geez, Brett.

331
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:31,710
- Don't bullshit me, Carl.

332
00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:32,750
I know you've been thinking it, too.

333
00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:34,400
We just established this.

334
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,720
- Thinking it, maybe, but
what you're saying is,

335
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,390
I mean, there's a big
difference between thinking--

336
00:20:39,390 --> 00:20:42,360
- And doing, exactly.

337
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,990
The difference is ultimately
what defines a man's character.

338
00:20:45,990 --> 00:20:48,580
So as I'm driving onto
his street that night,

339
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,000
I start thinking about you.

340
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,690
How maybe this was the type
of thing that you needed

341
00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:54,523
to be doing.

342
00:20:55,563 --> 00:20:57,540
And instantly, the following
thoughts start permeating

343
00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:58,430
into my mind.

344
00:20:58,430 --> 00:21:01,130
And I'm only saying this because
you're my brother-in-law.

345
00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:05,110
I start hearing, "He's a
loser, he'll only fuck it up.

346
00:21:05,110 --> 00:21:08,900
"He's anxious guy, those people
push him around all day."

347
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,290
And then I thought, no, no,
no, no, that's not true.

348
00:21:12,290 --> 00:21:15,380
I thought my faithlessness
in you is based completely

349
00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:17,460
on all the bullshit lies
you've been telling yourself

350
00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:18,980
all these years.

351
00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:22,120
That you believe these
lies so much about yourself

352
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,660
that you've got me believing in them, too.

353
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:28,420
And that's when I
realized, he can do this.

354
00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:30,720
In fact, he needs to do this.

355
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:34,690
And who am I to deprive
him of that opportunity?

356
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,320
So I pulled into his neighbor's driveway,

357
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,250
turned around, and headed home.

358
00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:41,620
Because for me, this is nothing.

359
00:21:41,620 --> 00:21:42,770
I'm there already.

360
00:21:42,770 --> 00:21:46,520
I'm living the dream, Carl,
and I don't give a fuck.

361
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:47,353
But for you,

362
00:21:48,230 --> 00:21:49,063
for you,

363
00:21:50,270 --> 00:21:51,670
this could be life-changing.

364
00:21:52,580 --> 00:21:56,340
This could be the first step
down the road less traveled.

365
00:21:58,377 --> 00:21:59,990
- I'm not murdering my wife's grandfather

366
00:21:59,990 --> 00:22:01,030
if that's what you're talking about.

367
00:22:01,030 --> 00:22:02,530
- Don't use that word, Carl.

368
00:22:03,849 --> 00:22:05,199
We're putting him to sleep.

369
00:22:06,555 --> 00:22:09,410
Be the hero, Carl.

370
00:22:09,410 --> 00:22:12,980
Be the one who makes all of
our holiday wishes come true.

371
00:22:14,570 --> 00:22:18,790
Freshen up his tea with
a little bit of this.

372
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,820
We'll celebrate in the morning.

373
00:22:26,820 --> 00:22:30,020
I'll cook you some flapjacks.

374
00:22:35,916 --> 00:22:38,545
It's
Beckham, sprinting away!

375
00:22:38,545 --> 00:22:41,589
- Go, go, go, go, go, yes!

376
00:22:41,589 --> 00:22:42,589
- Haha, woo!

377
00:22:43,570 --> 00:22:46,200
That is what I am talking about!

378
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,390
Cheers to the Giants bringing us home

379
00:22:48,390 --> 00:22:50,570
the shiny Lombardi trophy.

380
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,460
- Mm-mm, do you think they'll bring that

381
00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:55,570
over to your house later

382
00:22:55,570 --> 00:22:57,790
or do you think they'll
swing on over to my place

383
00:22:57,790 --> 00:22:58,740
for Brett to enjoy?

384
00:23:00,420 --> 00:23:02,200
- Looks like you're
having a little too much

385
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,360
holiday cheer, Jen.

386
00:23:04,340 --> 00:23:05,910
You're getting weird.

387
00:23:05,910 --> 00:23:07,580
- Yeah, let's start
phasing out the egg nog

388
00:23:07,580 --> 00:23:09,180
and start introducing the water.

389
00:23:10,310 --> 00:23:12,360
- I think I'm entitled to a drink or two.

390
00:23:13,674 --> 00:23:16,390
I worked all week.

391
00:23:18,963 --> 00:23:20,850
- What the fuck is going on here?

392
00:23:21,742 --> 00:23:22,575
- Grandpa!

393
00:23:25,230 --> 00:23:27,940
- You walk around my living
room with your shoes on?

394
00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:30,270
We take our shoes off
when we walk around here.

395
00:23:30,270 --> 00:23:32,160
- Is everything okay, Grandpa?

396
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,910
- Healthy as a 50-year-old,
that's what he said.

397
00:23:34,910 --> 00:23:37,050
Of course, my first wife died at 50.

398
00:23:39,091 --> 00:23:40,867
I don't listen to any of
those lying bastards anyway.

399
00:23:40,867 --> 00:23:42,307
- Well, you look wonderful, Kenny.

400
00:23:42,307 --> 00:23:43,140
You look like a 50-year-old.

401
00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:45,510
- Bullshit, pal, human
beings don't look wonderful

402
00:23:45,510 --> 00:23:46,343
at my age.

403
00:23:46,343 --> 00:23:48,530
We look like overgrown prunes.

404
00:23:48,530 --> 00:23:49,670
And I'll tell you something,

405
00:23:49,670 --> 00:23:52,340
some day you'll look just like this, okay?

406
00:23:52,340 --> 00:23:54,600
So save all that bullshit for someone

407
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,250
you're trying to stick you're dick in.

408
00:23:57,370 --> 00:23:58,360
- Hi Grandpa.

409
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,010
- Oh, will you look at this?

410
00:24:03,010 --> 00:24:05,530
You're right, Leigh,
she's becoming a lush.

411
00:24:05,530 --> 00:24:07,112
- Here we go.

412
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:10,080
- What a shame to be given
the wonderful gift of life,

413
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:11,660
just to drink it all away.

414
00:24:12,650 --> 00:24:15,380
- Do you remember Carl, Grandpa?

415
00:24:15,380 --> 00:24:17,740
- I can't say he made
much of an impression.

416
00:24:19,663 --> 00:24:20,770
Does he talk?

417
00:24:20,770 --> 00:24:22,349
Do you talk, you say something?

418
00:24:23,256 --> 00:24:24,089
Well, what are you, a man or a mouse?

419
00:24:24,089 --> 00:24:26,630
- I'm a man.
- Bullshit you are.

420
00:24:26,630 --> 00:24:28,110
- Women are the new men.

421
00:24:28,110 --> 00:24:30,440
Clits are the new cocks.

422
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:31,273
Cocks are clits.

423
00:24:31,273 --> 00:24:33,390
It's all topsy-turvy now.

424
00:24:33,390 --> 00:24:35,850
- Be nice, Grandpa.

425
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:38,150
- They're coming out of the woodwork.

426
00:24:38,150 --> 00:24:40,180
- Happy 80th, Mr. Larkin.

427
00:24:40,180 --> 00:24:43,010
- Ah see, the only one to say it.

428
00:24:43,010 --> 00:24:44,740
What the hell happened to you?

429
00:24:44,740 --> 00:24:48,960
- I was in an accident in Afghanistan.

430
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,784
- You're a soldier?

431
00:24:50,784 --> 00:24:51,617
- I was.

432
00:24:51,617 --> 00:24:52,970
Do you even know what we're fuck

433
00:24:52,970 --> 00:24:53,930
you were doing over there?

434
00:24:53,930 --> 00:24:56,090
- We're fighting terrorists, Grandpa.

435
00:24:56,090 --> 00:24:57,820
We're putting an end to terrorism.

436
00:24:57,820 --> 00:25:00,020
- And we're damn proud of you, Ray.

437
00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:02,010
- Terrorists, we're all terrorists.

438
00:25:04,890 --> 00:25:07,540
What, I can't open my mouth up anymore?

439
00:25:07,540 --> 00:25:09,850
- We love you, Grandpa.

440
00:25:11,392 --> 00:25:13,681
- Are you gonna give her a baby?

441
00:25:13,681 --> 00:25:16,100
Or is she gonna waste her
life waiting for some drip

442
00:25:16,100 --> 00:25:17,690
to perform like man?

443
00:25:17,690 --> 00:25:19,620
You know, she's not getting any younger.

444
00:25:19,620 --> 00:25:21,070
Her oven is getting cold.

445
00:25:21,070 --> 00:25:22,300
- In due time, Kenny.

446
00:25:23,290 --> 00:25:25,170
Everything in due time.

447
00:25:25,170 --> 00:25:26,610
- You mean like menopause?

448
00:25:28,290 --> 00:25:29,900
Where are you going Grandpa?

449
00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:31,750
- I'm going to feed some raccoons.

450
00:25:32,870 --> 00:25:35,370
You know, you feed them
lunch and then they come back

451
00:25:35,370 --> 00:25:38,070
and try to eat their way
back into your fucking house.

452
00:25:46,004 --> 00:25:48,372
- Okay.

453
00:27:16,950 --> 00:27:17,783
- Oh hi, Kenny.

454
00:27:17,783 --> 00:27:18,740
- What are you doing up?

455
00:27:20,304 --> 00:27:22,180
- I was wondering, are
there any extra blankets?

456
00:27:22,180 --> 00:27:24,767
- Ah, did that heater go out again?

457
00:27:24,767 --> 00:27:25,600
Geez.

458
00:27:27,763 --> 00:27:29,450
Listen, I didn't mean anything
about what I said before,

459
00:27:29,450 --> 00:27:32,190
you know, it's just that
these wars just piss me off.

460
00:27:32,190 --> 00:27:34,760
- That's okay, it didn't bother me.

461
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,860
- Have some tea, I've
got some water boiling.

462
00:27:37,860 --> 00:27:39,410
I'll give you some Sleepytime.

463
00:27:39,410 --> 00:27:40,470
- Oh no, that's okay.

464
00:27:40,470 --> 00:27:42,420
- You like honey, I got
honey, too, upstairs.

465
00:27:42,420 --> 00:27:43,270
All right, honey?

466
00:27:44,340 --> 00:27:45,173
- Okay.

467
00:28:14,650 --> 00:28:16,060
- Happy birthday.

468
00:28:16,060 --> 00:28:19,240
- Eh, it's no big deal, you know.

469
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,290
But one thing I have learned,

470
00:28:21,290 --> 00:28:24,260
and that is you have to
celebrate every day you're here,

471
00:28:24,260 --> 00:28:26,440
because it's over before you even know

472
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:27,540
what the hell hit you.

473
00:28:28,621 --> 00:28:29,800
- You're happy, though.

474
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,300
I mean, you had a good life.

475
00:28:31,300 --> 00:28:33,310
- Hey, I'm not dead yet, all right.

476
00:28:33,310 --> 00:28:35,410
Don't go burying me, for God's sake.

477
00:28:35,410 --> 00:28:37,600
- No, no, no.
- Thank you for throwing

478
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,520
dirt on me.
- No, I meant to say so far.

479
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,145
- I'm teasing you, the old
man's just teasing you.

480
00:28:43,145 --> 00:28:43,978
Don't get upset.

481
00:28:50,060 --> 00:28:51,030
- Do I smell weed?

482
00:28:54,371 --> 00:28:57,190
- Yeah, I've been smoking since the '60s.

483
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:01,600
Yeah, they were good times then, you know?

484
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:04,840
We almost made a difference, here.

485
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:05,673
- Oh.

486
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:08,993
- It's kind.

487
00:29:10,650 --> 00:29:12,320
- It's kind he says.

488
00:29:21,227 --> 00:29:22,060
- Yeah?

489
00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:22,893
Yeah, it is.

490
00:29:29,310 --> 00:29:30,143
- Hey.

491
00:29:32,220 --> 00:29:34,330
Hey Carl.

492
00:29:34,330 --> 00:29:36,690
- I can't sleep.

493
00:29:36,690 --> 00:29:38,320
- Something on your mind, pal?

494
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:42,190
- Oh no, nothing,
nothing worth mentioning.

495
00:29:42,190 --> 00:29:45,130
- Wrestle with the demons,
they come out at night.

496
00:29:46,070 --> 00:29:46,903
- Yeah.

497
00:29:48,150 --> 00:29:49,800
- Hey, come in here, have a seat.

498
00:29:50,940 --> 00:29:53,660
- Yeah, have a seat, Carl.

499
00:30:01,829 --> 00:30:04,830
Hey, you want a pull?

500
00:30:04,830 --> 00:30:07,210
- Oh, no, no, it doesn't agree with me.

501
00:30:07,210 --> 00:30:08,600
I get paranoid.

502
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,140
- Ah, not on this stuff you won't.

503
00:30:10,140 --> 00:30:11,390
You'll be asleep before you even know

504
00:30:11,390 --> 00:30:12,650
what the hell hit you.

505
00:30:12,650 --> 00:30:14,150
- She won't know.

506
00:30:15,153 --> 00:30:16,170
- Yeah, relax, huh.

507
00:30:18,251 --> 00:30:20,201
You know, you're on vacation here, pal.

508
00:30:21,859 --> 00:30:24,370
You've got a lot of tension
in those shoulders, you know?

509
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:34,850
- You have very strong hands.

510
00:30:34,850 --> 00:30:37,640
- Well, they have to be
strong to work the soil.

511
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,050
We have to have more reverence
for the soil, you know?

512
00:30:40,050 --> 00:30:42,860
They're destroying, they
destroy everything that's good.

513
00:30:42,860 --> 00:30:44,890
Like they killed that young Kennedy boy.

514
00:30:44,890 --> 00:30:47,900
He wasn't afraid to stand up
to them, so they killed him.

515
00:30:49,130 --> 00:30:51,290
That's how you know
you're a good president,

516
00:30:51,290 --> 00:30:52,570
when they kill you.

517
00:30:52,570 --> 00:30:57,570
- Wow, when they kill
you, you know you're good.

518
00:30:57,895 --> 00:30:59,330
That's right, sure.

519
00:30:59,330 --> 00:31:02,270
We kill our heroes and
we praise our villains

520
00:31:02,270 --> 00:31:03,910
and give them all kinds of awards.

521
00:31:03,910 --> 00:31:06,760
It's a very topsy-turvy land.

522
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,520
- When we die, do you think we grow wings

523
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,500
and go to a better place?

524
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:14,220
- Yeah, yeah, we become plants.

525
00:31:14,220 --> 00:31:16,020
And then we become angels.

526
00:31:16,020 --> 00:31:17,720
- Just like plants.

527
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,884
- Sure, we're all angels deep down inside.

528
00:31:25,790 --> 00:31:27,480
How about you, you have something to say?

529
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:28,840
You wanna speak up here?

530
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,440
- Well, my mouth is dry.

531
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:31,440
- You want some tea?

532
00:31:32,930 --> 00:31:33,850
- Sleepytime is good.

533
00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:36,849
- Uh yeah, I, yeah, I'll
have, that sounds good.

534
00:31:36,849 --> 00:31:37,875
- All right, let me get you some.

535
00:31:37,875 --> 00:31:38,802
- No, I'll get it.

536
00:31:38,802 --> 00:31:41,220
- I'll get it, relax.
- No, no, I'll get it.

537
00:31:41,220 --> 00:31:45,760
- Sorry, Kenny, do you
want some more hot water?

538
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:49,560
- Yeah, yeah, I just need a
little more water, thanks.

539
00:32:25,825 --> 00:32:29,890
I don't

540
00:32:29,890 --> 00:32:31,060
- Well, you know, nice
to have a little service

541
00:32:31,060 --> 00:32:34,060
every now and then, you know, right?

542
00:32:36,990 --> 00:32:39,980
You're sweaty and you're a little pale.

543
00:32:39,980 --> 00:32:41,820
Yeah, what's on your mind, pal?

544
00:32:42,690 --> 00:32:45,130
- It's, uh, nothing.

545
00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:47,800
- Well, remember this, whatever it is,

546
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,330
listen to what's deep down inside.

547
00:32:49,330 --> 00:32:50,810
Don't listen to what they want you to do.

548
00:32:50,810 --> 00:32:52,757
You have a choice.

549
00:32:52,757 --> 00:32:53,970
You always have a choice.

550
00:32:53,970 --> 00:32:56,140
Unless they put you in
one of those prisons.

551
00:32:56,140 --> 00:32:56,973
- I don't wanna be,

552
00:32:56,973 --> 00:32:59,860
I'm tired of being locked up.

553
00:32:59,860 --> 00:33:01,618
Then get out.

554
00:33:01,618 --> 00:33:06,488
- He's a very smart man, you
should listen to him, Carl.

555
00:33:06,488 --> 00:33:09,629
You should get out, let yourself go.

556
00:33:09,629 --> 00:33:12,310
- Yes, it's no good carrying
around this tension.

557
00:33:12,310 --> 00:33:15,050
You'll give yourself a heart attack.

558
00:33:15,050 --> 00:33:16,970
You probably clogged up all your arteries

559
00:33:16,970 --> 00:33:18,620
with all that worry.

560
00:33:19,693 --> 00:33:23,877
- Do you know, do you
know what's going on?

561
00:33:23,877 --> 00:33:28,460
- Hey, if you smoke the right
plants, you know everything.

562
00:33:32,470 --> 00:33:34,640
- What's so funny guys,
is something funny?

563
00:33:48,626 --> 00:33:50,459
- Who wants breakfast?

564
00:34:02,352 --> 00:34:03,457
♪ Over the river and through the woods ♪

565
00:34:03,457 --> 00:34:05,824
♪ To Grandmother's house we go ♪

566
00:34:05,824 --> 00:34:07,776
♪ Da da da da da da da da ♪

567
00:34:07,776 --> 00:34:09,791
♪ And through the shining snow ♪

568
00:34:09,791 --> 00:34:11,705
♪ Over the river and through the winds ♪

569
00:34:11,705 --> 00:34:13,940
♪ Some flapjacks for you Leigh ♪

570
00:34:13,940 --> 00:34:15,870
- Thank you Brett, those look amazing.

571
00:34:15,870 --> 00:34:17,710
- Hopefully they taste amazing.

572
00:34:17,710 --> 00:34:18,800
Hey babe, good morning.

573
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:19,710
- Good morning.

574
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,590
You're chipper this morning.

575
00:34:22,590 --> 00:34:24,700
- Yeah, there's a lot to
be chipper about, babe.

576
00:34:24,700 --> 00:34:26,330
All of us gathering as a family

577
00:34:26,330 --> 00:34:28,750
makes me feel kind of
warm and tingly inside.

578
00:34:28,750 --> 00:34:29,583
Feels good.

579
00:34:30,570 --> 00:34:31,900
Feels good to be alive.

580
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:34,890
Well, well, well,

581
00:34:36,140 --> 00:34:39,500
look who's finally decided to
grace us with his presence.

582
00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:41,070
Good morning, sunshine.

583
00:34:41,070 --> 00:34:42,719
- Good morning.

584
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:43,780
- Looks like someone got a little visit

585
00:34:43,780 --> 00:34:46,020
from the hair fairy, huh, honey?

586
00:34:46,020 --> 00:34:46,900
Sorry.

587
00:34:47,970 --> 00:34:49,700
- What are you sorry about?

588
00:34:50,775 --> 00:34:51,880
- I don't know.

589
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,790
You all right, pal?

590
00:34:53,790 --> 00:34:55,160
- I'm fine.

591
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,650
- He's always like this in the morning.

592
00:34:56,650 --> 00:34:59,050
He's a total zombie
until he has his coffee.

593
00:34:59,050 --> 00:35:00,200
Isn't that right, Carl?

594
00:35:01,420 --> 00:35:02,850
- Yeah.

595
00:35:02,850 --> 00:35:05,350
- Well, let's get you set up, then, pal.

596
00:35:05,350 --> 00:35:06,210
How do you take it?

597
00:35:06,210 --> 00:35:07,940
- Huh?
- He really is a zombie.

598
00:35:07,940 --> 00:35:09,140
- How do you take your coffee, bro?

599
00:35:09,140 --> 00:35:11,400
- Earth to Fog, come in Fog.

600
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,100
- Oh, regular, I take it regular.

601
00:35:14,100 --> 00:35:17,050
- Snap out of it Carl,
you're embarrassing yourself.

602
00:35:17,050 --> 00:35:18,850
- Hey, shouldn't Grandpa be up by now?

603
00:35:18,850 --> 00:35:20,250
I thought he always
rose with the roosters.

604
00:35:20,250 --> 00:35:22,420
- You know what, he went to
bed pretty early last night.

605
00:35:22,420 --> 00:35:23,850
Maybe someone should check on him.

606
00:35:23,850 --> 00:35:25,150
- I'd like to finish my drink

607
00:35:25,150 --> 00:35:27,910
before having to deal with
him, thank you very much.

608
00:35:27,910 --> 00:35:29,710
- Yeah, well, I'll check on him

609
00:35:29,710 --> 00:35:31,320
because I'm starting to get worried.

610
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,153
- Oh don't.

611
00:35:33,390 --> 00:35:34,520
- What?

612
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:36,560
- Let him sleep, he probably needs it.

613
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,590
They need their sleep at that age.

614
00:35:38,590 --> 00:35:41,320
- It's 10:00 a.m. Carl,
I'm checking on him.

615
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,490
- Don't, don't go in there, Leigh.

616
00:35:43,490 --> 00:35:46,010
Why shouldn't
she go in there, Carl?

617
00:35:46,010 --> 00:35:47,540
- Because he's...

618
00:35:48,740 --> 00:35:50,310
He's what?

619
00:35:50,310 --> 00:35:52,570
He's what, Carl?

620
00:35:52,570 --> 00:35:54,990
- He's, he's dead.

621
00:35:56,708 --> 00:35:58,100
What?

622
00:35:58,100 --> 00:36:01,680
- He passed away, he must've
gone in his sleep or something.

623
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:02,700
I'm sorry.

624
00:36:02,700 --> 00:36:03,810
How do you know?

625
00:36:04,814 --> 00:36:06,100
What happened?

626
00:36:06,100 --> 00:36:07,500
- I went in there early this morning

627
00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:08,780
looking for some matches.

628
00:36:08,780 --> 00:36:11,240
And I asked him if he had some

629
00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:12,750
and he wasn't saying anything.

630
00:36:12,750 --> 00:36:16,475
So I went over to him, and I shook him,

631
00:36:16,475 --> 00:36:19,270
and he wouldn't wake up.

632
00:36:19,270 --> 00:36:21,040
I put my fingers under his nose

633
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,570
and he wasn't breathing, so I,

634
00:36:23,570 --> 00:36:25,370
I didn't know what to do, so I just,

635
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,260
I just kept checking
and there was nothing.

636
00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:31,150
He was gone.

637
00:36:31,150 --> 00:36:31,983
He's gone.

638
00:36:35,204 --> 00:36:36,690
- Well, what are we gonna do?

639
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:39,740
I mean, what are we gonna do with him?

640
00:36:41,222 --> 00:36:43,037
- Well, I guess we call 911.

641
00:36:43,037 --> 00:36:45,560
None of us should go up
there and look at him.

642
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:49,200
He's probably all blue or
whatever color they turn.

643
00:36:52,230 --> 00:36:53,910
- Why didn't you do something

644
00:36:53,910 --> 00:36:56,450
or tell us something last night?

645
00:36:56,450 --> 00:36:57,283
- Well, what was I gonna do?

646
00:36:57,283 --> 00:36:59,420
He wasn't breathing, he was dead.

647
00:36:59,420 --> 00:37:00,460
- If someone's not breathing,

648
00:37:00,460 --> 00:37:02,130
it doesn't necessarily mean they're dead.

649
00:37:02,130 --> 00:37:03,550
- He wasn't breathing for a long time.

650
00:37:03,550 --> 00:37:05,100
I checked several times.

651
00:37:05,100 --> 00:37:06,220
I kept checking.

652
00:37:06,220 --> 00:37:07,450
- Well, for how long?

653
00:37:07,450 --> 00:37:09,090
How long wasn't he breathing?

654
00:37:09,090 --> 00:37:10,880
Two or three
minutes, I don't know.

655
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:12,250
- And you didn't try to revive him?

656
00:37:12,250 --> 00:37:14,320
- Yeah, why didn't you
try to revive him, Carl?

657
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:17,390
- I don't know, okay, I don't know, geez.

658
00:37:17,390 --> 00:37:18,670
- You said you went in there for matches.

659
00:37:18,670 --> 00:37:19,950
Why did you need matches?

660
00:37:19,950 --> 00:37:22,660
- To light a fire, I
wanted to light a fire.

661
00:37:22,660 --> 00:37:23,970
It was freezing in that room.

662
00:37:23,970 --> 00:37:27,130
I feel like I'm on the freaking
stand right now, okay, geez.

663
00:37:27,130 --> 00:37:28,860
- It wasn't even cold last night.

664
00:37:28,860 --> 00:37:31,160
- 'Cause you stole all
the covers, you always do.

665
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:32,190
It was freezing.

666
00:37:32,190 --> 00:37:34,030
- There's no fireplace in that room.

667
00:37:35,488 --> 00:37:36,473
Where were you going to light it?

668
00:37:36,473 --> 00:37:37,306
- In the den.

669
00:37:37,306 --> 00:37:39,016
I was gonna sleep on the couch in the den.

670
00:37:39,016 --> 00:37:40,830
This is ridiculous.

671
00:37:40,830 --> 00:37:42,888
- You're a real idiot Carl, you know that?

672
00:37:42,888 --> 00:37:45,140
You're a real idiot, Carl.

673
00:37:45,140 --> 00:37:46,820
- I didn't kill him, okay, honey?

674
00:37:48,530 --> 00:37:50,220
- Who said anything about killing him?

675
00:37:50,220 --> 00:37:51,830
- Yeah, it sounds like you're saying it.

676
00:37:51,830 --> 00:37:52,790
- Why would you say that?

677
00:37:52,790 --> 00:37:54,960
Why would you say that, Carl?

678
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:56,150
- Because I was...

679
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,510
- What, you were what?

680
00:38:01,620 --> 00:38:04,150
- You were what, Carl?

681
00:38:04,150 --> 00:38:06,730
Say something Carl, think Carl!

682
00:38:16,392 --> 00:38:18,270
- Well, what happened?

683
00:38:18,270 --> 00:38:19,840
- Sleep apnea.

684
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:20,673
- Huh?

685
00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:23,595
- He has sleep apnea, Leigh just told me.

686
00:38:23,595 --> 00:38:25,590
You can stop breathing for
several minutes in your sleep.

687
00:38:25,590 --> 00:38:28,103
- But you gave him the tea, right?

688
00:38:28,103 --> 00:38:29,803
He drank it, you saw him drink it?

689
00:38:31,950 --> 00:38:32,783
What?

690
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,340
- I didn't do it.

691
00:38:35,340 --> 00:38:36,300
- What?

692
00:38:36,300 --> 00:38:38,550
- I didn't put any rat poison in his tea.

693
00:38:38,550 --> 00:38:39,720
I couldn't do it.

694
00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:40,590
Why not?

695
00:38:40,590 --> 00:38:42,230
- Because he was saying
all this crazy stuff

696
00:38:42,230 --> 00:38:44,370
that was freaking me out.

697
00:38:44,370 --> 00:38:47,130
I finally went back in
there this morning to

698
00:38:47,130 --> 00:38:48,330
smother him with his pillow,

699
00:38:48,330 --> 00:38:50,670
and I was standing there for a long time

700
00:38:50,670 --> 00:38:54,340
just looking at him, and I
noticed that he wasn't breathing.

701
00:38:54,340 --> 00:38:57,430
So I put my fingers under
his nose and he wasn't.

702
00:38:57,430 --> 00:38:59,650
So I thought my job was
done for me, you know,

703
00:38:59,650 --> 00:39:02,490
by God or whatever.

704
00:39:03,620 --> 00:39:08,032
- Okay, okay, so we'll try again tonight.

705
00:39:08,032 --> 00:39:10,210
No problem.

706
00:39:10,210 --> 00:39:11,450
You can do it tonight.

707
00:39:11,450 --> 00:39:12,480
- Uh uh, no way.

708
00:39:13,550 --> 00:39:14,740
- Why not?

709
00:39:14,740 --> 00:39:15,630
- I can't.

710
00:39:15,630 --> 00:39:16,770
- What do you mean you can't?

711
00:39:16,770 --> 00:39:18,810
- It'll freak me out way too much, Brett.

712
00:39:18,810 --> 00:39:20,340
You saw the girls.

713
00:39:20,340 --> 00:39:22,340
Did you notice how upset Leigh was?

714
00:39:22,340 --> 00:39:24,040
- Leigh is gonna be fine.

715
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,185
With all your financial
burdens put to rest,

716
00:39:26,185 --> 00:39:28,670
she'll get over this
very quickly, trust me.

717
00:39:28,670 --> 00:39:31,280
- But Kenny, he's, he's
a human being, Brett.

718
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,110
- Bullshit, he's a fucking dinosaur

719
00:39:33,110 --> 00:39:35,500
who should've been
extinct a long time ago.

720
00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:37,870
Do you have any idea what
it's like getting Ray in

721
00:39:37,870 --> 00:39:39,010
on his appointments nowadays

722
00:39:39,010 --> 00:39:41,820
with all these prehistoric
animals roaming the earth

723
00:39:41,820 --> 00:39:43,880
and sucking up all the doctors' time?

724
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:44,713
He'd die waiting.

725
00:39:44,713 --> 00:39:47,330
And resources, to have them around

726
00:39:47,330 --> 00:39:49,380
for all these unnecessary years.

727
00:39:49,380 --> 00:39:51,130
The carbon footprint, Carl.

728
00:39:51,130 --> 00:39:52,880
We're overpopulated.

729
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,460
And you call yourself a nature enthusiast?

730
00:39:55,460 --> 00:39:57,140
Not exactly eco-friendly.

731
00:39:58,605 --> 00:39:59,438
I've digressed.

732
00:40:00,542 --> 00:40:04,153
Look, to make an omelette,
you have to break an egg.

733
00:40:04,153 --> 00:40:06,880
- I'm not breaking any eggs, I'm sorry.

734
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:07,730
There's just,

735
00:40:09,030 --> 00:40:11,640
there's just something
inside of me telling me no.

736
00:40:12,730 --> 00:40:14,230
- So you're a pussy, Carl.

737
00:40:14,230 --> 00:40:15,280
- I'm sorry, Brett.

738
00:40:18,550 --> 00:40:19,383
- Okay.

739
00:40:20,630 --> 00:40:21,463
Okay.

740
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,600
I want you to see that
inheritance now, Carl.

741
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:26,550
Really see it.

742
00:40:27,550 --> 00:40:31,270
2.2 million dollars.

743
00:40:31,270 --> 00:40:34,930
And now, I want you to see
how you're deliberately

744
00:40:34,930 --> 00:40:37,940
flushing it deep down into
the shit-covered waters

745
00:40:37,940 --> 00:40:39,570
of shit's fucking creek,

746
00:40:39,570 --> 00:40:42,540
where it's devoured by all
of the little shit-eaters.

747
00:40:42,540 --> 00:40:44,490
Really see yourself now, Carl,

748
00:40:44,490 --> 00:40:46,130
just waving goodbye to it,

749
00:40:46,130 --> 00:40:48,280
with that sorry little look on your face,

750
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,560
and a paddle stuck up your
ass that was jammed in there

751
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:53,950
by an unfair world that
you weren't man enough

752
00:40:53,950 --> 00:40:55,190
to stake your claim in.

753
00:40:57,410 --> 00:40:58,540
Nothing.

754
00:40:58,540 --> 00:41:00,070
Nothing to say, Carl?

755
00:41:00,070 --> 00:41:01,513
- We were drinking yesterday

756
00:41:01,513 --> 00:41:03,840
and we were caught up in
too much holiday cheer

757
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,190
and goofing around when we--

758
00:41:05,190 --> 00:41:07,160
- Oh, I see, so you think the one holding

759
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:08,810
the shit end of the
stick should be the one

760
00:41:08,810 --> 00:41:10,140
that carries this out, huh?

761
00:41:10,140 --> 00:41:11,390
Is that what you think, Carl?

762
00:41:11,390 --> 00:41:13,720
You think I should be the
one that has to do this?

763
00:41:15,642 --> 00:41:18,240
- I've stated my position, and,

764
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,190
I'm not gonna waver.

765
00:41:22,290 --> 00:41:23,440
I'm standing my ground.

766
00:41:30,010 --> 00:41:31,160
- I think you'll do it.

767
00:41:32,830 --> 00:41:33,663
- Huh?

768
00:41:34,586 --> 00:41:36,410
- I think you'd rather kill Grampy

769
00:41:36,410 --> 00:41:38,330
than deal with the
ramifications of your wife

770
00:41:38,330 --> 00:41:40,010
finding out the truth.

771
00:41:40,010 --> 00:41:41,570
- About what?

772
00:41:41,570 --> 00:41:43,700
- I ran into Jerry Ryan yesterday.

773
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:45,633
Yeah.

774
00:41:47,050 --> 00:41:49,300
Does Leigh know that
you're unemployed, Carl?

775
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,510
Don't make me be the bad guy here.

776
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:54,060
- You'd never--

777
00:41:54,060 --> 00:41:55,570
I wouldn't?

778
00:41:55,570 --> 00:41:57,620
- Brett, you're my friend.

779
00:41:57,620 --> 00:42:00,780
- And I'm trying to help
you salvage your life, Carl.

780
00:42:02,117 --> 00:42:04,567
I think some gratitude
might be more appropriate.

781
00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:07,300
- Sociopath.

782
00:42:07,300 --> 00:42:09,180
That's a
compliment these days, Carl.

783
00:42:09,180 --> 00:42:10,430
And for that I thank you.

784
00:42:12,417 --> 00:42:13,990
- Don't do this, please,
please don't make me do this.

785
00:42:13,990 --> 00:42:15,940
- You almost did it on your own accord.

786
00:42:17,910 --> 00:42:20,200
I'm just giving you a little push.

787
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:21,420
You can do it, Carl.

788
00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:24,050
Never quit on a dream.

789
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,660
You know, I used to play the sax, too.

790
00:42:31,430 --> 00:42:33,680
You gotta have a lot of
soul to play the sax.

791
00:42:55,370 --> 00:42:56,203
Hey buddy.

792
00:42:57,240 --> 00:43:00,380
- Something really crazy's
going on around here.

793
00:43:00,380 --> 00:43:03,720
This is gonna blow your frigging mind.

794
00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:05,610
- What are you talking about?

795
00:43:05,610 --> 00:43:08,740
- I was in Kenny's room last night.

796
00:43:08,740 --> 00:43:09,660
- Kenny?

797
00:43:09,660 --> 00:43:12,240
- Yeah, Grandpa Kenny.

798
00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:14,010
It was in the wee hours.

799
00:43:14,010 --> 00:43:16,020
He asked me to come in.

800
00:43:16,020 --> 00:43:18,852
- Ray, you weren't supposed
to be in there last night.

801
00:43:18,852 --> 00:43:22,325
- Why wasn't I supposed to be in there?

802
00:43:22,325 --> 00:43:25,060
- So let's get you dressed,
we're going for a walk.

803
00:43:29,850 --> 00:43:32,480
You were drinking yesterday, smoking weed.

804
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,210
Not to mention you just
got back from the war

805
00:43:34,210 --> 00:43:36,340
where they put that damn
steel plate in your head.

806
00:43:36,340 --> 00:43:38,450
- Okay, are you done?

807
00:43:38,450 --> 00:43:40,040
- I'm just saying, sometimes the mind

808
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,050
can play tricks on us and
make us perceive things

809
00:43:42,050 --> 00:43:43,320
in funny ways.

810
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,210
- Will you listen to me?

811
00:43:45,210 --> 00:43:47,430
My perception is fine.

812
00:43:47,430 --> 00:43:50,340
And what happened in that room last night

813
00:43:50,340 --> 00:43:52,920
was as real as anything I've experienced

814
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,220
in my entire life.

815
00:43:55,220 --> 00:43:58,310
You are not gonna believe this one, Brett.

816
00:43:59,799 --> 00:44:02,170
- All right, what, what happened already?

817
00:44:02,170 --> 00:44:05,610
- We made love like animals last night.

818
00:44:06,620 --> 00:44:08,440
- What, who?

819
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,270
- Me and Kenny.

820
00:44:12,093 --> 00:44:13,330
- Huh?

821
00:44:13,330 --> 00:44:15,180
- It was raw.

822
00:44:15,180 --> 00:44:17,100
It was wild.

823
00:44:17,100 --> 00:44:18,840
It was animalistic.

824
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,223
It was everything.

825
00:44:21,223 --> 00:44:25,000
This is the best Christmas ever.

826
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,540
- You banged Jen's grandfather last night?

827
00:44:28,540 --> 00:44:29,540
You hit that?

828
00:44:29,540 --> 00:44:31,590
- Oh, it wasn't like that.

829
00:44:31,590 --> 00:44:34,640
If anything, he was the one in control.

830
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,620
- He's gay or bi?

831
00:44:36,620 --> 00:44:40,220
- He doesn't feel the need
to put labels on things.

832
00:44:40,220 --> 00:44:45,160
Oh man he did things to me

833
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:48,300
no man's ever done before.

834
00:44:48,300 --> 00:44:50,720
It was a religious experience.

835
00:44:55,580 --> 00:44:56,413
- I like it.

836
00:44:58,520 --> 00:44:59,720
I like this.

837
00:45:01,750 --> 00:45:04,290
You're back.
- I'm back.

838
00:45:04,290 --> 00:45:06,440
- You are back.
- I'm back.

839
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,757
- This shit is back.
- I'm back, I'm back!

840
00:45:09,757 --> 00:45:11,240
- This just in, the kid is back.

841
00:45:11,240 --> 00:45:15,340
- I'm back, I'm gay, I'm getting sick.

842
00:45:15,340 --> 00:45:17,640
- You are a sick puppy is what you are.

843
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,350
Ray, this is legendary.

844
00:45:19,350 --> 00:45:21,970
You are an instant hero with the story.

845
00:45:21,970 --> 00:45:25,900
Now this is the greatest
story ever told, oh man.

846
00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:27,350
I can't wait to tell Dino and Jimmy,

847
00:45:27,350 --> 00:45:28,470
they're gonna shit their pants.

848
00:45:28,470 --> 00:45:30,658
- No, don't tell anyone, Brett.

849
00:45:30,658 --> 00:45:33,670
- Whoa, whoa, easy.

850
00:45:34,850 --> 00:45:37,640
Ray, this nothing to be ashamed of, okay?

851
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:39,570
So you've been hit by a pitch.

852
00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:41,700
Dust yourself off, get back in the game.

853
00:45:41,700 --> 00:45:44,750
- I didn't get hit by a pitch.

854
00:45:44,750 --> 00:45:45,920
- It's a metaphor, Ray.

855
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:47,820
- I understand the metaphor.

856
00:45:47,820 --> 00:45:50,500
And it doesn't apply here.

857
00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:53,600
He's an amazing man.

858
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,650
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

859
00:45:55,650 --> 00:45:57,240
You're getting ahead
of yourself here, Ray.

860
00:45:57,240 --> 00:46:00,100
- We were communicating without speaking.

861
00:46:00,100 --> 00:46:01,810
- You were fucking high.

862
00:46:01,810 --> 00:46:03,390
- I understand that.

863
00:46:03,390 --> 00:46:05,570
And I've thought about it all morning,

864
00:46:05,570 --> 00:46:07,938
and it doesn't change.

865
00:46:07,938 --> 00:46:09,400
- Settle, Ray, okay, settle.

866
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,302
- That's exactly what I'm doing.

867
00:46:12,302 --> 00:46:14,820
I'm settling with him.

868
00:46:14,820 --> 00:46:16,700
We're getting married.

869
00:46:16,700 --> 00:46:18,170
- You're what?

870
00:46:18,170 --> 00:46:20,120
- I love him, Brett.

871
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:22,300
Get that through your head.

872
00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:24,180
He loves me.

873
00:46:24,180 --> 00:46:27,660
And we want to explore
these feelings further.

874
00:46:27,660 --> 00:46:28,970
Now, we're going to have

875
00:46:28,970 --> 00:46:31,860
a celebration wedding here tomorrow.

876
00:46:31,860 --> 00:46:35,030
Then Tuesday morning, we're going down

877
00:46:35,030 --> 00:46:37,910
to the Town Hall to make it official.

878
00:46:38,825 --> 00:46:42,730
I want you to be my best man.

879
00:46:45,790 --> 00:46:48,360
- No.
- What do you mean no?

880
00:46:49,220 --> 00:46:52,560
- I mean, snap the fuck out of it, Ray.

881
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,870
You're not marrying him.

882
00:46:54,870 --> 00:46:59,450
Look, you've been deprived
of sex for a long time, okay?

883
00:46:59,450 --> 00:47:01,540
A man does crazy things
when deprived of sex.

884
00:47:01,540 --> 00:47:02,780
Just ask a priest.

885
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:06,250
Look, you'll get past this, okay?

886
00:47:06,250 --> 00:47:08,370
In a few months, when you find yourself

887
00:47:08,370 --> 00:47:09,910
a normal piece of ass,

888
00:47:09,910 --> 00:47:14,137
whose birth date was sometime
after fucking Prohibition.

889
00:47:14,137 --> 00:47:16,687
- You're not listening to
a single word I'm saying.

890
00:47:17,710 --> 00:47:18,543
I love him.

891
00:47:18,543 --> 00:47:21,050
- No, no, you lust him.

892
00:47:21,050 --> 00:47:23,280
I can't believe I'm saying
this with a straight face.

893
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:24,800
You lust Grandpa.

894
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:27,330
You could do better than
this, Ray, much better.

895
00:47:27,330 --> 00:47:29,600
Give it some time, Jesus.

896
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,320
- I don't want you at my wedding.

897
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:35,040
I'll ask Carl to be my best man.

898
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:36,940
- Empathize with me, Ray.

899
00:47:36,940 --> 00:47:39,500
42-year-old men do not
normally fall in love

900
00:47:39,500 --> 00:47:40,450
with the elderly.

901
00:47:40,450 --> 00:47:44,080
- Real love knows no boundaries, Brett.

902
00:47:45,175 --> 00:47:47,040
Now do you support me on this or not?

903
00:47:48,470 --> 00:47:49,980
Yes or no.

904
00:47:50,940 --> 00:47:51,820
Do you?

905
00:47:54,627 --> 00:47:57,810
You are as shallow as a puddle of piss.

906
00:47:58,968 --> 00:48:00,177
Get out of my way, Brett.

907
00:48:00,177 --> 00:48:01,094
- Ray. Ray.

908
00:48:05,860 --> 00:48:10,860
Ray!

909
00:48:23,504 --> 00:48:24,587
- Carl. Carl.

910
00:48:30,724 --> 00:48:31,557
Carl.

911
00:48:33,232 --> 00:48:36,020
He's a loser,
he'll only fuck it up.

912
00:48:36,020 --> 00:48:39,010
He's an anxious guy who's
been pushed around all day.

913
00:48:39,010 --> 00:48:41,950
He's a loser, loser, loser, loser, loser.

914
00:48:41,950 --> 00:48:45,250
- Christmas bonus is
not delivering itself.

915
00:48:47,030 --> 00:48:48,430
Be the hero, Carl.

916
00:48:49,450 --> 00:48:52,940
Be the one who makes all of
her holiday wishes come true.

917
00:48:52,940 --> 00:48:53,773
The hero.

918
00:49:12,500 --> 00:49:16,450
- Hey, sounds like the little
morning birdies are chirping,

919
00:49:16,450 --> 00:49:18,990
huh, the larks?

920
00:49:18,990 --> 00:49:20,710
Yeah, hey.

921
00:49:20,710 --> 00:49:21,910
- You look like hell.

922
00:49:21,910 --> 00:49:23,830
- Yeah, my head feels
like a demolition site.

923
00:49:23,830 --> 00:49:24,770
I feel like hell.

924
00:49:26,890 --> 00:49:30,600
- Well, maybe I can cheer you up.

925
00:49:31,532 --> 00:49:33,020
- Not now, Leigh.

926
00:49:34,340 --> 00:49:35,870
Stop.

927
00:49:35,870 --> 00:49:38,440
I said stop geez, do you wanna get caught?

928
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:39,770
- You got bad breath.

929
00:49:39,770 --> 00:49:40,690
- Yeah, so do you.

930
00:49:41,635 --> 00:49:42,530
- What is your problem?

931
00:49:42,530 --> 00:49:44,570
- I think we need to put
the brakes on this, okay?

932
00:49:44,570 --> 00:49:45,870
- On what, us?

933
00:49:45,870 --> 00:49:48,660
- No, not us, I'm talking
about this project,

934
00:49:48,660 --> 00:49:50,436
Project Grampy.
- Why?

935
00:49:50,436 --> 00:49:52,860
- Because I spoke with Ray just now

936
00:49:52,860 --> 00:49:56,070
and he just told me some very
bizarre and perverse things.

937
00:49:56,070 --> 00:49:57,230
- Yeah, I know all about it.

938
00:49:57,230 --> 00:49:59,710
I just had a conversation
with his soulmate.

939
00:49:59,710 --> 00:50:01,480
He professed the whole disgusting thing.

940
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:02,550
- Yeah, it's grotesque.

941
00:50:02,550 --> 00:50:04,750
- Yeah, it is, and potentially
a very big hindrance

942
00:50:04,750 --> 00:50:08,580
as he's not trying to get his
paws into my piece of the pie.

943
00:50:08,580 --> 00:50:11,520
So I'm confused why
exactly is there a problem?

944
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:13,160
- Because he loves him, Leigh.

945
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:16,380
- Jesus Christ, he
wants his fucking money.

946
00:50:16,380 --> 00:50:18,120
- No, I've never seen
him so sure of anything

947
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:19,440
in his life, he's telling the truth.

948
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:20,550
- Well, then he's a filthy creeper

949
00:50:20,550 --> 00:50:22,590
with a fetish for
geriatrics is what he is.

950
00:50:22,590 --> 00:50:24,730
- Hey, did he make a mistake, yes.

951
00:50:24,730 --> 00:50:25,940
But he's my brother, okay?

952
00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:27,550
Respect that.

953
00:50:27,550 --> 00:50:29,330
- No, I don't respect that.

954
00:50:29,330 --> 00:50:32,550
I have zero respect for perverts.

955
00:50:32,550 --> 00:50:34,120
So is this thing on or not,

956
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:36,300
because my muscles are
getting fucking cold.

957
00:50:41,420 --> 00:50:44,180
What, you're gonna call it off?

958
00:50:45,940 --> 00:50:47,310
We had a deal.

959
00:50:49,780 --> 00:50:53,620
"Let's kill Grandpa this
Christmas," you said.

960
00:50:54,620 --> 00:50:57,290
"I will convince your drip
husband to snuff him out

961
00:50:57,290 --> 00:51:00,110
"so that we don't have to
do it ourselves," you said.

962
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:02,000
Remember?

963
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:04,950
Hello, remember?

964
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:12,140
I see how it is.

965
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:14,720
I see.

966
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:16,530
You care more about
that perverted gimp boy

967
00:51:16,530 --> 00:51:17,880
that you do about us, fine.

968
00:51:19,130 --> 00:51:21,630
Just know that you'll never
get your hands on this

969
00:51:24,070 --> 00:51:24,903
again.

970
00:51:26,970 --> 00:51:29,830
'Cause here's now it's gonna go down now.

971
00:51:29,830 --> 00:51:31,700
Here's the new plan.

972
00:51:31,700 --> 00:51:33,700
If by tomorrow morning that old hag

973
00:51:33,700 --> 00:51:35,870
hasn't drifted down to
the fiery halls of hell

974
00:51:35,870 --> 00:51:38,180
where he belongs, we're through.

975
00:51:39,050 --> 00:51:42,220
And not only are we through,
but your marriage is through.

976
00:51:43,324 --> 00:51:44,157
- You'd never.

977
00:51:44,157 --> 00:51:45,180
- Oh, I will.

978
00:51:46,410 --> 00:51:50,260
I will tell my sister all
about her filthy husband

979
00:51:50,260 --> 00:51:52,910
and now he forced himself on me.

980
00:51:52,910 --> 00:51:55,780
And I will even turn on the tears.

981
00:51:57,290 --> 00:52:00,130
She will kick you out like
the unemployed vagabond

982
00:52:00,130 --> 00:52:01,680
that you are.

983
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:04,020
- You psychopath.

984
00:52:05,140 --> 00:52:08,090
- That's the highest compliment
a person can receive, Brett.

985
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:09,833
And for that,

986
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,250
I thank you.

987
00:52:25,255 --> 00:52:27,189
- How are you doing?

988
00:52:27,189 --> 00:52:29,772
I'm so glad you came, you know?

989
00:52:33,507 --> 00:52:34,507
- Thank you.

990
00:52:36,830 --> 00:52:39,220
- What are you doing over there, Carl?

991
00:52:39,220 --> 00:52:41,260
- Oh nothing, just, uh...

992
00:52:43,150 --> 00:52:44,140
- What, Carl?

993
00:52:47,270 --> 00:52:51,100
- Leigh, I, uh...

994
00:52:55,711 --> 00:52:56,628
- Oh, Carl.

995
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:04,350
- Do you remember how we
were when we first met, just

996
00:53:06,020 --> 00:53:09,190
two broke college kids
without a care in the world,

997
00:53:09,190 --> 00:53:13,090
just laughing, making love, smoking grass.

998
00:53:13,090 --> 00:53:15,640
- Yeah, of course I remember, honey.

999
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:19,570
- We didn't have a nickel to spare, but,

1000
00:53:19,570 --> 00:53:22,370
somehow we were king and queen
of the entire world, hon.

1001
00:53:23,860 --> 00:53:27,050
- Is there something else
you wanna tell me, Carl?

1002
00:53:27,050 --> 00:53:28,200
- No, its just,

1003
00:53:30,150 --> 00:53:33,620
if we were, if we were to lose everything,

1004
00:53:34,894 --> 00:53:36,320
and we had to start all over again,

1005
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:37,730
could you still love me?

1006
00:53:39,890 --> 00:53:42,220
- Why are you asking me that, Carl?

1007
00:53:42,220 --> 00:53:43,053
- I just,

1008
00:53:44,020 --> 00:53:47,020
I just wanted to make sure
our foundation is still solid.

1009
00:53:48,340 --> 00:53:51,030
- Well, we're not kids anymore.

1010
00:53:51,030 --> 00:53:53,870
We're adults in the real world.

1011
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,830
And in the real world,

1012
00:53:56,830 --> 00:53:59,730
there are winners and there are losers.

1013
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:04,010
I have no intention of being a loser.

1014
00:54:05,020 --> 00:54:07,580
So if you were to lose everything,

1015
00:54:07,580 --> 00:54:10,620
I would probably have to file for divorce.

1016
00:54:14,610 --> 00:54:15,443
Okay.

1017
00:54:16,670 --> 00:54:19,050
Let's get ready for Grandpa's party.

1018
00:54:20,300 --> 00:54:22,830
I got your outfit all
picked out and ready to go.

1019
00:55:07,900 --> 00:55:10,050
- I don't have an
appetite for some reason.

1020
00:55:12,010 --> 00:55:15,010
- It's rude to leave the table
when people are still eating.

1021
00:55:16,010 --> 00:55:18,000
- Everyone's done.

1022
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:18,833
- I'm not done.

1023
00:55:18,833 --> 00:55:19,840
- Honey, I think that's enough

1024
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:21,320
with the drinking this weekend.

1025
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:22,153
- That's enough.

1026
00:55:24,571 --> 00:55:25,404
Now I've got something to tell yous

1027
00:55:25,404 --> 00:55:26,740
and I might as well do it now.

1028
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:29,310
I'm changing the will.

1029
00:55:30,860 --> 00:55:32,970
Ray and I are going off to Europe

1030
00:55:32,970 --> 00:55:34,300
and we're not coming back.

1031
00:55:35,220 --> 00:55:36,960
I might even buy a castle.

1032
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,690
- That's a wonderful idea, Grandpa.

1033
00:55:39,690 --> 00:55:42,240
Isn't it wonderful, Leigh?

1034
00:55:42,240 --> 00:55:43,410
- It's amazing.

1035
00:55:43,410 --> 00:55:46,870
- And whatever's left of the 2.2 million,

1036
00:55:46,870 --> 00:55:49,190
after I'm gone, that's
what you get, Leigh.

1037
00:55:49,190 --> 00:55:51,600
- Well, I don't care about that, Grandpa.

1038
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,220
I just want you to be happy.

1039
00:55:53,220 --> 00:55:56,110
- Good, I'm going to see
the lawyer tomorrow morning,

1040
00:55:56,110 --> 00:55:59,205
first thing, to make it official.

1041
00:55:59,205 --> 00:56:02,660
- I think there's one
more gift under the tree.

1042
00:56:02,660 --> 00:56:03,760
- Get the gift, Carl.

1043
00:56:06,450 --> 00:56:08,010
Wake up, Carl.

1044
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:11,660
Will you wipe the dopey look off your face

1045
00:56:11,660 --> 00:56:12,910
and get the gift?

1046
00:56:27,810 --> 00:56:29,410
That's my gift to Jen.

1047
00:56:55,860 --> 00:56:59,100
- Wow, what is that?

1048
00:56:59,100 --> 00:57:02,030
- That is a Native
American fertility phallus.

1049
00:57:02,030 --> 00:57:03,850
I made that in ceramics.

1050
00:57:03,850 --> 00:57:05,680
It's to bring you good luck and strength

1051
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:07,010
to your sexual organs.

1052
00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:10,740
- Think it'll do the trick for you, Brett?

1053
00:57:11,860 --> 00:57:13,490
- I hope it does, Carl.

1054
00:57:16,070 --> 00:57:18,770
- There's one more gift
in the kitchen, Carl.

1055
00:57:18,770 --> 00:57:20,020
Get it.

1056
00:57:24,492 --> 00:57:26,330
- Well, you better pray
with all your might,

1057
00:57:26,330 --> 00:57:28,310
because saying no to her as a woman

1058
00:57:28,310 --> 00:57:31,170
is like saying no to
Mother Nature herself.

1059
00:57:31,170 --> 00:57:34,398
Taking all the fruit and
not fertilizing the land.

1060
00:57:34,398 --> 00:57:39,398
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

1061
00:57:39,562 --> 00:57:44,562
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

1062
00:57:44,613 --> 00:57:49,613
♪ Happy birthday dear Grandpa ♪

1063
00:57:50,546 --> 00:57:53,879
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

1064
00:57:57,650 --> 00:57:59,839
♪ And many more ♪

1065
00:58:03,170 --> 00:58:07,370
- Happy birthday to my Christmas angel.

1066
00:58:07,370 --> 00:58:08,900
Make a wish, Grandpa.

1067
00:58:08,900 --> 00:58:10,730
- I already had my wish.

1068
00:58:10,730 --> 00:58:14,220
- Well, that was
yesterday, make a new wish.

1069
00:58:14,220 --> 00:58:17,220
- Uh, well, it'd be nice
if this fucking hair

1070
00:58:17,220 --> 00:58:18,920
would stop falling out of my head.

1071
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:23,910
- Well, Carl has plugs.

1072
00:58:23,910 --> 00:58:26,585
Maybe he can point you
in the right direction.

1073
00:58:26,585 --> 00:58:29,580
- Whoa, she is bombed.

1074
00:58:29,580 --> 00:58:31,150
She is gonna be okay.

1075
00:58:32,260 --> 00:58:34,300
Oh, got your wish, Jen.

1076
00:58:34,300 --> 00:58:37,150
You're drunk, it's time to go to bed.

1077
00:58:37,150 --> 00:58:38,960
- Get your fucking hands off me

1078
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:40,880
unless you wanna lose an arm.

1079
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:42,510
Of course I'm drunk.

1080
00:58:42,510 --> 00:58:44,960
Any sane person would have to annihilated

1081
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:46,440
to hang out with this family.

1082
00:58:47,570 --> 00:58:50,720
- Wow, your father would
be so disappointed,

1083
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:52,340
God rest his soul.

1084
00:58:52,340 --> 00:58:54,350
- Blah, blah, blah.

1085
00:58:54,350 --> 00:58:56,070
- I wish you could see yourself

1086
00:58:56,070 --> 00:58:57,900
and what your life has turned into

1087
00:58:57,900 --> 00:59:00,120
when you don't think things through.

1088
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,880
- You're just a perfect
example of human capability,

1089
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:03,880
aren't you Grandpa?

1090
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:06,480
- All right, party's over, Jen.

1091
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:07,980
- Shut up, Leigh.

1092
00:59:07,980 --> 00:59:11,480
All you know how to do is criticize.

1093
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:14,920
Just criticizing everything
and everyone around you

1094
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:17,160
all day every fucking day.

1095
00:59:19,093 --> 00:59:20,640
Well, I'm sick of it!

1096
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,121
'Cause all I need from
a grandfather is someone

1097
00:59:23,121 --> 00:59:27,790
to be nice and who
leaves me the fuck alone.

1098
00:59:29,660 --> 00:59:33,400
But look what I got, I
got a washed-up old critic

1099
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:35,030
with no one around in his life

1100
00:59:35,030 --> 00:59:37,690
but people waiting for
him to croak already

1101
00:59:37,690 --> 00:59:40,040
so they can get all his stuff.

1102
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,460
Well, I don't give a
shit about your stuff.

1103
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:46,490
And living in this dump
would only be a reminder

1104
00:59:46,490 --> 00:59:49,130
of all the shit I've
had to endure from you

1105
00:59:49,130 --> 00:59:50,970
throughout the years.

1106
00:59:50,970 --> 00:59:54,350
Your miserable ghost haunting me,

1107
00:59:54,350 --> 00:59:58,210
following me around from the great beyond.

1108
00:59:58,210 --> 01:00:02,140
So I'm asking you, take
me off of your will.

1109
01:00:02,140 --> 01:00:04,180
I'm begging you to do it.

1110
01:00:04,180 --> 01:00:06,930
This way I never have
to see your diabolical,

1111
01:00:06,930 --> 01:00:11,040
heartless, wrinkly face
ever the fuck again!

1112
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:14,900
- That's it!

1113
01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:16,430
That's your voice!

1114
01:00:16,430 --> 01:00:18,590
I've been waiting 20
years to hear that come

1115
01:00:18,590 --> 01:00:20,170
out of your mouth.

1116
01:00:20,170 --> 01:00:22,040
Finally, an expression of the truth.

1117
01:00:24,220 --> 01:00:26,530
If you could only do
that without the liquor.

1118
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:38,170
- Well, don't be rude, Carl.

1119
01:00:38,170 --> 01:00:40,200
Pull your sister-in-law out of the cake.

1120
01:00:56,810 --> 01:00:59,280
- I don't know why she brought up my hair.

1121
01:01:00,261 --> 01:01:01,960
- It's bedtime, Carl, time to go to bed.

1122
01:01:05,460 --> 01:01:09,050
- Well, she showed her true
colors, that sister of mine.

1123
01:01:09,050 --> 01:01:11,980
She has nothing but hate in
her heart for this family.

1124
01:01:13,430 --> 01:01:14,980
Sorry you had to see that, Ray.

1125
01:01:16,100 --> 01:01:17,310
- That's okay.

1126
01:01:18,260 --> 01:01:20,510
And I'm gonna hit the hay now.

1127
01:01:22,068 --> 01:01:24,985
I've got a really big day tomorrow.

1128
01:01:26,046 --> 01:01:27,213
- You sure do.

1129
01:02:36,460 --> 01:02:37,293
- Carl?

1130
01:02:39,429 --> 01:02:41,510
- You scared me, asshole, what?

1131
01:02:41,510 --> 01:02:42,343
- Are you going up there now?

1132
01:02:42,343 --> 01:02:44,630
- Where do you think I'm going, huh?

1133
01:02:44,630 --> 01:02:46,270
Outside to make a snowman?

1134
01:02:46,270 --> 01:02:47,620
- Carl, this is bad.

1135
01:02:48,660 --> 01:02:50,320
This is really bad.

1136
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,200
- Oh, you think so?

1137
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:56,710
- I just wanted to be a writer.

1138
01:02:57,550 --> 01:02:59,150
Living out here would have been,

1139
01:03:00,610 --> 01:03:02,860
but Ray, Ray.

1140
01:03:06,568 --> 01:03:08,690
I just wanted him to be happy.

1141
01:03:10,470 --> 01:03:12,190
That's all I ever wanted.

1142
01:03:15,827 --> 01:03:20,827
It's all I ever wanted.

1143
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:34,930
- We should end it now.

1144
01:03:36,230 --> 01:03:38,130
Pretend like none of this ever happened.

1145
01:03:39,065 --> 01:03:40,770
Get the Christmas spirit back.

1146
01:03:48,569 --> 01:03:52,990
- Carl, Carl, Carl.

1147
01:03:54,997 --> 01:03:57,324
This breaks my heart, Carl,

1148
01:03:57,324 --> 01:03:58,788
you're such a nice guy.

1149
01:03:58,788 --> 01:04:03,590
It breaks my heart, Carl,
you're such a nice guy.

1150
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:06,833
- Okay.

1151
01:04:08,772 --> 01:04:09,605
- Carl?

1152
01:04:16,336 --> 01:04:18,003
Where are you going?

1153
01:04:19,062 --> 01:04:21,110
- I'm going in there.

1154
01:04:21,110 --> 01:04:22,630
What?

1155
01:04:22,630 --> 01:04:24,420
- What, are you fucking deaf?

1156
01:04:24,420 --> 01:04:27,720
I said I'm going in there.

1157
01:04:38,685 --> 01:04:41,910
I'm going in there, get this
fucking shit over with already.

1158
01:05:07,140 --> 01:05:10,120
- Morning, Ray.
- Good morning, Leigh.

1159
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:11,920
- You look great.

1160
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:13,850
Have you seen your groom yet this morning?

1161
01:05:13,850 --> 01:05:15,650
- Of course not.

1162
01:05:15,650 --> 01:05:18,688
It's bad luck to see the
groom before the ceremony.

1163
01:05:18,688 --> 01:05:22,100
Everybody knows that.

1164
01:05:23,138 --> 01:05:24,138
- Of course.

1165
01:05:24,990 --> 01:05:27,090
Have you seen him yet this morning, Brett?

1166
01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:32,100
You know, he really should be up by now.

1167
01:05:32,100 --> 01:05:33,450
Grandpa?

1168
01:05:33,450 --> 01:05:35,280
- Oh, I'm sure he's up.

1169
01:05:36,660 --> 01:05:39,900
I bet your groom looks amazing, Ray.

1170
01:05:41,010 --> 01:05:43,740
- Look who's suddenly on Team Grandpa.

1171
01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:45,840
Isn't that interesting?

1172
01:05:47,060 --> 01:05:50,480
Grandpa, you're gonna be
late for your own wedding!

1173
01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:52,310
- He's up, I'm sure.

1174
01:05:52,310 --> 01:05:55,020
He's probably just playing
with his hair or something.

1175
01:05:55,020 --> 01:05:57,590
- You're sure in a better mood today

1176
01:05:57,590 --> 01:05:59,140
than yesterday, Jen.

1177
01:05:59,140 --> 01:06:02,210
- Today, I see with new eyes, Ray.

1178
01:06:02,210 --> 01:06:04,090
Bloodshot, but new.

1179
01:06:04,090 --> 01:06:04,923
- Grandpa?

1180
01:06:05,770 --> 01:06:07,780
- You know, after all you've been through,

1181
01:06:07,780 --> 01:06:10,060
nobody deserves to be
blessed with a soulmate

1182
01:06:10,060 --> 01:06:11,110
any more than you do.

1183
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:14,820
- I just wish we could've
gotten Grandpa a new tux.

1184
01:06:14,820 --> 01:06:16,760
- You know, I think we've all had it

1185
01:06:16,760 --> 01:06:19,490
with the loving
granddaughter routine, Leigh.

1186
01:06:19,490 --> 01:06:22,520
It's getting to be a bit
nauseating now, don't you think?

1187
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:26,746
- You know, you may have
managed to ruin Christmas,

1188
01:06:26,746 --> 01:06:29,350
but I'm not going to stand here

1189
01:06:29,350 --> 01:06:32,130
and let you destroy Grandpa's wedding.

1190
01:06:32,130 --> 01:06:34,240
- I bumped into Carl last night

1191
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:36,520
on my way to pouring myself a drink.

1192
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:39,620
Had to sting out of the
nightmare called my life.

1193
01:06:39,620 --> 01:06:42,320
When I noticed Carl over there clutching

1194
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:44,500
onto a big white fluffy pillow,

1195
01:06:44,500 --> 01:06:47,000
quivering like a frightened little puppy.

1196
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:49,530
"What you doing over
there, Carl," I asked.

1197
01:06:49,530 --> 01:06:51,810
Poor thing, he was too scared to speak.

1198
01:06:51,810 --> 01:06:54,310
So I thought, Carl looks
like he can use himself

1199
01:06:54,310 --> 01:06:55,560
a drink, too.

1200
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:57,490
So I went and I poured
us a couple of brandies

1201
01:06:57,490 --> 01:06:58,590
and we got to talking.

1202
01:06:59,441 --> 01:07:01,510
And do you know what he told me, Leigh?

1203
01:07:01,510 --> 01:07:04,627
He told me he'd just
gotten through storming

1204
01:07:04,627 --> 01:07:09,627
into Grandpa's room with
that big white fluffy pillow.

1205
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:53,991
- You son of a bitch, you son of a bitch.

1206
01:07:53,991 --> 01:07:56,408
You live, you son of a bitch.

1207
01:08:08,314 --> 01:08:09,147
- Carl!

1208
01:08:12,154 --> 01:08:14,070
Get your ass out here now!

1209
01:08:21,830 --> 01:08:26,630
How dare you attempt to
do such a wicked thing.

1210
01:08:26,630 --> 01:08:29,360
- That's exactly what I asked, Leigh.

1211
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:31,400
And do you know what he told me?

1212
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:35,635
He told me, "Brett made me do it."

1213
01:08:35,635 --> 01:08:36,880
- Is that true, Brett?

1214
01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:38,250
- Of course not, Ray.

1215
01:08:39,440 --> 01:08:40,500
That's ridiculous, honey.

1216
01:08:40,500 --> 01:08:41,550
- Shut up, Brett.

1217
01:08:42,490 --> 01:08:45,640
Why would Brett make Carl
do such a wicked thing?

1218
01:08:45,640 --> 01:08:47,640
I wanted to know.

1219
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:50,310
And that's when Carl mentioned
the hair plug comment

1220
01:08:50,310 --> 01:08:52,240
I'd made earlier in the evening.

1221
01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:55,190
A comment which he said
was completely untrue.

1222
01:08:56,141 --> 01:08:58,030
Funny, I thought.

1223
01:08:58,030 --> 01:09:01,510
Why would my sister make
up such a crazy story

1224
01:09:01,510 --> 01:09:03,470
about her husband's hair,

1225
01:09:03,470 --> 01:09:07,850
while I was lamenting to her
about my husband's infidelity?

1226
01:09:07,850 --> 01:09:10,970
- Get your fingers out
of my husband's hair.

1227
01:09:23,770 --> 01:09:27,450
- Tell me something, Thomas,

1228
01:09:27,450 --> 01:09:29,420
when you're screwing my husband,

1229
01:09:29,420 --> 01:09:32,740
and his teeny-weeny little peeny pops out,

1230
01:09:32,740 --> 01:09:36,180
as it tends to, can you even feel it?

1231
01:09:37,370 --> 01:09:40,410
Oh hey, Grandpa, still alive, huh?

1232
01:09:40,410 --> 01:09:42,870
- Yeah, thanks to Carl I am.

1233
01:09:42,870 --> 01:09:46,480
- Hi Grandpa, what are
you doing with the gun?

1234
01:09:46,480 --> 01:09:47,750
- Oh, I like to carry it.

1235
01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:49,960
You know, they said I can still carry it.

1236
01:09:49,960 --> 01:09:51,800
Not that I listen to their rules.

1237
01:09:51,800 --> 01:09:52,900
I have my own rules.

1238
01:09:52,900 --> 01:09:55,790
- Uh, I think you should
put that down for now.

1239
01:09:55,790 --> 01:09:58,380
It's starting to frighten us a little bit.

1240
01:09:58,380 --> 01:10:00,040
- But I really like holding it.

1241
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:01,880
You know, it's sort of
like a comfort blanket.

1242
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:03,590
You remember those little comfort blankets

1243
01:10:03,590 --> 01:10:06,090
you girls had when you were young?

1244
01:10:06,090 --> 01:10:08,710
Yeah, made you feel nice and safe?

1245
01:10:08,710 --> 01:10:10,440
- Yeah, I remember.

1246
01:10:10,440 --> 01:10:12,480
- What did yours look like, Leigh?

1247
01:10:12,480 --> 01:10:16,130
- Well, it was blue, with
little pink bunnies on it.

1248
01:10:16,130 --> 01:10:18,620
- Right, see I like to think of this

1249
01:10:18,620 --> 01:10:20,660
as my little blue blanket

1250
01:10:20,660 --> 01:10:22,790
with little pink bunnies on it,

1251
01:10:22,790 --> 01:10:26,890
just in case the big bad wolf
comes knocking on that door

1252
01:10:26,890 --> 01:10:28,589
in the middle of the night.

1253
01:10:32,660 --> 01:10:33,830
- Grandpa.

1254
01:10:33,830 --> 01:10:36,510
- I want you two to move
over to that wall over there.

1255
01:10:36,510 --> 01:10:37,830
Come on, move it!

1256
01:10:38,972 --> 01:10:39,805
Move!

1257
01:10:40,890 --> 01:10:43,411
Now get down on your knees,
get down on your knees.

1258
01:10:43,411 --> 01:10:44,244
Do it!

1259
01:10:46,370 --> 01:10:47,630
- Well, what about Carl?

1260
01:10:50,823 --> 01:10:53,650
- Are you sorry, sonny,
for trying to kill me?

1261
01:10:53,650 --> 01:10:56,280
- Words could never express it Kenny.

1262
01:10:56,280 --> 01:10:57,190
I was weak.

1263
01:11:00,110 --> 01:11:02,970
- Uh, relax, everybody makes a mistake.

1264
01:11:02,970 --> 01:11:05,540
But at the end, you were strong.

1265
01:11:05,540 --> 01:11:07,162
- Thank you.

1266
01:11:07,162 --> 01:11:09,260
Thank you, Kenny.

1267
01:11:09,260 --> 01:11:10,840
- I'm calling the police.

1268
01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:12,880
No, no, no, that's not
gonna do us any good.

1269
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:15,930
You can't get any justice
here, just ask OJ.

1270
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:18,710
What do you think, Leigh,

1271
01:11:18,710 --> 01:11:20,050
should I put you out of your misery

1272
01:11:20,050 --> 01:11:22,250
like you were thinking about
putting me out of mine?

1273
01:11:22,250 --> 01:11:23,770
- It was his idea.

1274
01:11:23,770 --> 01:11:26,610
The whole thing, it was all his idea.

1275
01:11:26,610 --> 01:11:28,567
- Is that true, Brett?

1276
01:11:28,567 --> 01:11:30,567
Were you thinking of putting
me down like an old horse

1277
01:11:30,567 --> 01:11:32,030
so you could get my house?

1278
01:11:32,030 --> 01:11:33,930
- Come on, you've known her long enough

1279
01:11:33,930 --> 01:11:34,763
to know how she is.

1280
01:11:34,763 --> 01:11:36,976
She lies, she's a liar.

1281
01:11:36,976 --> 01:11:38,870
She's a pathological liar.

1282
01:11:38,870 --> 01:11:39,820
- And what are you?

1283
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:43,700
- Aw honey, come on, I can
make it up to you, please.

1284
01:11:43,700 --> 01:11:45,260
- Oh honey, honey.

1285
01:11:45,260 --> 01:11:47,230
You better hope he kills you,

1286
01:11:47,230 --> 01:11:48,960
because you no longer have a sponsor.

1287
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:50,380
- Or a brother.

1288
01:11:50,380 --> 01:11:53,730
- Ray, come on, she made me do it, Ray.

1289
01:11:53,730 --> 01:11:56,464
- I feel sorry for you, Brett.

1290
01:11:56,464 --> 01:11:58,460
I really do.

1291
01:11:58,460 --> 01:12:00,554
- You have any last words, either of you?

1292
01:12:00,554 --> 01:12:03,203
- Please, please, please,
please, please, please,

1293
01:12:03,203 --> 01:12:04,600
please, please.
- Have you been doing that

1294
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:05,890
all of your life?

1295
01:12:05,890 --> 01:12:08,540
Please, please, please,
don't hurt me, please.

1296
01:12:08,540 --> 01:12:10,140
Say it.

1297
01:12:10,140 --> 01:12:12,150
All right, let's get on with this.

1298
01:12:12,150 --> 01:12:12,983
Who's with me.

1299
01:12:16,570 --> 01:12:19,860
Don't you move an inch or
I'll blast that stupid look

1300
01:12:19,860 --> 01:12:20,880
off your face.

1301
01:12:23,803 --> 01:12:24,636
Do you have the vows, honey?

1302
01:12:24,636 --> 01:12:27,220
- Yeah, I hope they're not too long.

1303
01:12:27,220 --> 01:12:29,110
I don't like drawing out ceremonies.

1304
01:12:29,110 --> 01:12:32,290
- No honey, they're just
like you, short and sweet.

1305
01:12:34,419 --> 01:12:36,830
- Here Carl, you're the priest.

1306
01:12:36,830 --> 01:12:37,663
- Okay.

1307
01:12:39,710 --> 01:12:41,560
- Any objections, Leigh?

1308
01:12:41,560 --> 01:12:43,960
Huh, anything you wanna say?

1309
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:46,170
Any objections to us getting married?

1310
01:12:46,170 --> 01:12:47,520
- Congratulations!

1311
01:12:47,520 --> 01:12:50,400
- Thank you, Brett,
that means a lot to me.

1312
01:12:50,400 --> 01:12:52,490
And I'm gonna keep that in mind

1313
01:12:52,490 --> 01:12:54,390
when I decide where to fucking bury you.

1314
01:12:54,390 --> 01:12:56,810
- What are you gonna do?
- What?

1315
01:12:56,810 --> 01:13:00,016
- Whatever you're gonna do, just do it.

1316
01:13:00,016 --> 01:13:03,320
- Now isn't that just like
you, always about to you.

1317
01:13:03,320 --> 01:13:05,020
You wanna talk about you all the time.

1318
01:13:05,020 --> 01:13:07,220
I'm trying to get married here.

1319
01:13:07,220 --> 01:13:09,040
And you want to talk about you.

1320
01:13:09,040 --> 01:13:11,340
Okay, okay, let's make it about you, huh?

1321
01:13:12,304 --> 01:13:14,704
Tell them how the story's gonna end.

1322
01:13:45,898 --> 01:13:46,898
- How grave.

1323
01:13:48,893 --> 01:13:51,082
What about you, Leigh,
what are you gonna do?

1324
01:13:51,082 --> 01:13:53,670
- Just shoot me.

1325
01:13:53,670 --> 01:13:55,720
Just shoot me and get it over with.

1326
01:13:57,120 --> 01:13:59,870
- Aw, get the fuck out of
here before I change my mind.

1327
01:14:04,740 --> 01:14:07,250
- Carl?
- What?

1328
01:14:07,250 --> 01:14:08,510
- I need the keys.

1329
01:14:15,540 --> 01:14:16,480
- Walk.

1330
01:14:36,610 --> 01:14:38,781
All right,
let's get on with this.

1331
01:14:38,781 --> 01:14:39,614
Go ahead, Carl.

1332
01:14:39,614 --> 01:14:41,142
Okay, just read it?

1333
01:14:41,142 --> 01:14:42,130
- You can read, right?

1334
01:14:42,130 --> 01:14:43,470
- Yeah, I can read.

1335
01:14:56,970 --> 01:14:59,190
Do you Ray take this ancient relic

1336
01:14:59,190 --> 01:15:01,490
till the day he croaks to be your husband?

1337
01:15:02,470 --> 01:15:07,180
To enjoy him deeply and not
take things too seriously?

1338
01:15:07,180 --> 01:15:11,100
To live your truth despite
what he or the government

1339
01:15:11,100 --> 01:15:15,000
or the Illuminati or the aliens are doing?

1340
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:16,830
Do you promise to be happy for yourself

1341
01:15:16,830 --> 01:15:19,180
so you can inspire happiness in him

1342
01:15:19,180 --> 01:15:21,150
or anyone else who cares to be,

1343
01:15:21,150 --> 01:15:23,824
though not make it your responsibility?

1344
01:15:23,824 --> 01:15:27,070
I do.

1345
01:15:27,070 --> 01:15:31,050
- And do you, Kenny, take
this paralyzed immobile lump

1346
01:15:31,050 --> 01:15:33,040
to be your husband?

1347
01:15:33,040 --> 01:15:36,470
To wheel him around and let
him be just one more excuse

1348
01:15:36,470 --> 01:15:39,970
for your happiness on this
perfectly fucked up planet,

1349
01:15:39,970 --> 01:15:42,410
till the forces within or without

1350
01:15:42,410 --> 01:15:45,180
pull the two of you irrevokably apart,

1351
01:15:45,180 --> 01:15:47,440
despite the fact that
on a subatomic level,

1352
01:15:47,440 --> 01:15:50,100
you never were and never will be separate?

1353
01:15:50,100 --> 01:15:51,560
- I do.

1354
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:53,010
- You may now kiss the groom.

1355
01:16:33,654 --> 01:16:36,658
♪ Christmas ♪

1356
01:16:36,658 --> 01:16:39,162
♪ Christmas ♪

1357
01:16:39,162 --> 01:16:42,177
♪ Christmas ♪

1358
01:16:42,177 --> 01:16:44,648
♪ Christmas ♪

1359
01:16:44,648 --> 01:16:48,353
♪ There is Santa Claus I know ♪

1360
01:16:48,353 --> 01:16:51,039
♪ Coming through the snow ♪

1361
01:16:51,039 --> 01:16:56,039
♪ On his way to you and me ♪

1362
01:16:56,186 --> 01:16:58,450
♪ I know that I can see ♪

1363
01:16:58,450 --> 01:17:01,179
♪ The reindeer in the sky ♪

1364
01:17:01,179 --> 01:17:05,899
♪ Red-nosed reindeer so bright ♪

1365
01:17:05,899 --> 01:17:10,899
♪ Are you a criminal or a virgin ♪

1366
01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:16,160
♪ Getting silver or a lump of coal ♪

1367
01:17:16,308 --> 01:17:21,108
♪ We'll give you nothing
if you knew the truth ♪

1368
01:17:21,108 --> 01:17:23,544
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1369
01:17:23,544 --> 01:17:25,754
♪ Happy New Year ♪

1370
01:17:25,754 --> 01:17:30,754
♪ I wanna kill you ♪

1371
01:17:35,681 --> 01:17:38,888
♪ And I've chosen a direction ♪

1372
01:17:38,888 --> 01:17:41,864
♪ Saying life is for me ♪

1373
01:17:41,864 --> 01:17:44,705
♪ I'll check myself ♪

1374
01:17:44,705 --> 01:17:49,025
♪ A little ♪

1375
01:17:49,025 --> 01:17:52,616
♪ No boring bombs ♪

1376
01:17:52,616 --> 01:17:56,116
♪ You get what you want ♪

1377
01:17:56,116 --> 01:18:01,116
♪ Have a you criminal or virgin ♪

1378
01:18:01,119 --> 01:18:06,119
♪ Getting silver or a lump of coal ♪

1379
01:18:06,572 --> 01:18:11,333
♪ You're giving nothing
if you knew the truth ♪

1380
01:18:11,333 --> 01:18:13,656
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1381
01:18:13,656 --> 01:18:15,826
♪ Happy New Year ♪

1382
01:18:15,826 --> 01:18:20,826
♪ I wanna kill you ♪

1383
01:18:23,256 --> 01:18:28,132
♪ When I see you Santa,
we'll have a drink ♪

1384
01:18:28,132 --> 01:18:33,132
♪ I always knew that you think ♪

1385
01:18:33,202 --> 01:18:35,141
♪ Maybe Jesus knows ♪

1386
01:18:35,141 --> 01:18:38,232
♪ What you've done ♪

1387
01:18:38,232 --> 01:18:43,232
♪ Hide your tracks 'cause it's ♪

1388
01:18:43,392 --> 01:18:48,392
♪ Christmas ♪

1389
01:18:48,712 --> 01:18:52,223
♪ There's a Santa Claus I know ♪

1390
01:18:52,223 --> 01:18:55,451
♪ Coming through the snow ♪

1391
01:18:55,451 --> 01:18:58,677
♪ Always waiting here ♪

1392
01:18:58,677 --> 01:19:02,440
♪ And me, I know what I can see ♪

1393
01:19:02,440 --> 01:19:05,569
♪ A reindeer in the sky ♪

1394
01:19:05,569 --> 01:19:09,830
♪ Red-nosed reindeer so bright ♪

1395
01:19:09,830 --> 01:19:14,830
♪ Are you a criminal or virgin ♪

1396
01:19:15,189 --> 01:19:20,142
♪ Getting silver or a lump of coal ♪

1397
01:19:20,142 --> 01:19:24,846
♪ You may get nothing
if you knew the truth ♪

1398
01:19:24,846 --> 01:19:27,362
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1399
01:19:27,362 --> 01:19:29,376
♪ Happy New Year ♪

1400
01:19:29,376 --> 01:19:34,376
♪ I wanna kill you ♪

1401
01:19:35,469 --> 01:19:38,003
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

1402
01:19:38,003 --> 01:19:40,115
♪ Happy New Year ♪

1403
01:19:40,115 --> 01:19:45,115
♪ I wanna kill you ♪

1404
01:19:46,086 --> 01:19:54,003
♪ I wanna kill you ♪