2 00:00:32,415 --> 00:00:37,281 Anyway, to cut a long story short, I decided to kill myself. 3 00:00:39,671 --> 00:00:44,111 That's the trouble with suicides, I've learned, you can't cut the long story short. 4 00:00:44,146 --> 00:00:47,549 Because it's the long story that people are interested in. 5 00:00:48,276 --> 00:00:49,689 Especially if you're me, 6 00:00:49,724 --> 00:00:54,258 which, regrettably, I was, and still am to this day. 7 00:00:54,293 --> 00:00:57,684 So, forgive me if you already knew this but 8 00:00:57,719 --> 00:01:01,448 I'm Martin Sharp, the man who had everything. 9 00:01:01,483 --> 00:01:04,062 One wife, two children, three dogs, 10 00:01:04,128 --> 00:01:07,365 at least four People's Choice Awards, and five mornings a week 11 00:01:07,433 --> 00:01:10,247 of the most successful breakfast show in Britain. 12 00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:14,225 They were even for offering me Mondays off. 13 00:01:15,352 --> 00:01:16,875 So far, so good. 14 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:21,283 I had reached middle age unscathed with money in the bank. 15 00:01:22,719 --> 00:01:27,873 Until I met Susie Jenkins at a launch for a new men's moisturizer. 16 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:34,822 All I can say in my defense, Your Honor, is that she looked 25 to me... but she wasn't. 17 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:45,239 Queue, in chronological order: tabloid frenzy, a short prison sentence, divorce, disgrace, demolition. 18 00:01:45,674 --> 00:01:47,382 Door closing. 19 00:01:48,449 --> 00:01:53,278 New Year's Eve is supposed to be a pause for breath, a punctuation mark. 20 00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:57,318 Well, I had come to a full stop... really. 21 00:01:57,633 --> 00:02:01,271 Why wouldn't I want to throw myself off the top of a tall building? 22 00:03:43,830 --> 00:03:45,128 Excuse me. 23 00:03:46,002 --> 00:03:47,147 Excuse me. 24 00:03:50,179 --> 00:03:51,310 Hi... 25 00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:57,683 I'm not entirely sure how to phrase this, but, are you going to be long? 26 00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,405 What? 27 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,499 I wasn't sure whether to wait my turn, or... 28 00:04:02,557 --> 00:04:06,102 I haven't considered the wire. I'd really like to borrow your ladder? 29 00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:09,422 Maybe I should just wait. I'll wait. 30 00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:12,002 - You just going to stand there and watch? - No, no, of course. 31 00:04:12,101 --> 00:04:16,676 - You'll be wanting to do it on your own, I imagine. - You imagine right. 32 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:20,455 - I can go there. - Right. 33 00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:27,303 I'll give you a shout on the way down. 34 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,029 All right. 35 00:04:38,427 --> 00:04:40,603 Ah, be geez! 36 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,835 I can't... Maybe you should go first? 37 00:04:56,629 --> 00:05:00,321 I want to be on my own... completely. 38 00:05:00,356 --> 00:05:05,797 Understood... twenty minutes... then I want my spot back. 39 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:10,182 - Right. - Okay. 40 00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:17,418 - What... - Oh! 41 00:05:32,039 --> 00:05:33,388 Maureen. 42 00:05:35,075 --> 00:05:36,426 Martin. 43 00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:42,673 Are you from... oh... I... I recognize your face. 44 00:05:42,908 --> 00:05:46,260 - Oh, do you? - Were you married to somebody in a pop group? 45 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:47,638 No. 46 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,138 - Were you on TV? - Maureen... 47 00:05:51,373 --> 00:05:53,975 perhaps this is not the best time to talk about this. 48 00:06:03,287 --> 00:06:06,126 - Out of my way, Fuckers! - No, stop, stop, stay calm! 49 00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:08,367 - Maureen, get help! - Who the fuck are you? 50 00:06:09,498 --> 00:06:11,529 - What do you want me to do? - Sit on her! 51 00:06:11,564 --> 00:06:14,412 You were getting a thrill out of it, weren't you, you pervert!? 52 00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:17,289 - Oh, my God! - What? 53 00:06:17,324 --> 00:06:20,745 - You're Martin Sharp! - You are a pervert, officially. 54 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,444 That's it! Rise and Shine with Martin and Penny! 55 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,181 Let me... 56 00:06:27,284 --> 00:06:28,620 What? 57 00:06:37,888 --> 00:06:38,953 Hi. 58 00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:45,838 You guys order a pizza? 59 00:06:48,682 --> 00:06:50,893 Well, should we do introductions? 60 00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:54,213 I'm Jess. 61 00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:57,058 Everyone calls me Jess. 62 00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,814 I... I... I'm Maur... Maureen. 63 00:07:01,436 --> 00:07:03,706 - I'm J.J. - I'm... 64 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,481 - Martin Sharp. - Yes. 65 00:07:05,516 --> 00:07:08,237 It's very exciting to have a celebrity in our suicidal midst. 66 00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:10,190 This is wrong. 67 00:07:10,425 --> 00:07:13,293 All right, well, we could just do a one, two, three, jump! 68 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:27,057 I wouldn't've minded if it had been the proverbial cry for help, 69 00:07:27,138 --> 00:07:30,853 but, believe me, you don't cart a ladder up 15 flights of stairs 70 00:07:30,866 --> 00:07:34,400 on a freezing cold New Year's Eve unless you're serious. 71 00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:36,108 Nice to meet you. 72 00:07:37,648 --> 00:07:41,308 It was just another debacle, another cock-up. 73 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:47,982 I'd've believed if you'd told me half an hour before that I'd end up on my car... but not in it! 74 00:07:55,655 --> 00:07:58,554 And I absolutely knew, with every fiber of my being, 75 00:07:58,589 --> 00:08:01,951 that I wouldn't be seeing any of those freaks and misfits again. 76 00:08:02,673 --> 00:08:06,699 I didn't know what they were doing up there and I didn't want to find out, thank you very much. 77 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:09,619 I've no interest, whatsoever. 78 00:08:14,359 --> 00:08:15,371 Oh, fuck. 79 00:08:16,221 --> 00:08:18,614 Do I regret stopping to pick her up? 80 00:08:18,649 --> 00:08:21,444 Well, that really is a long story. 81 00:08:25,771 --> 00:08:26,792 Want a lift? 82 00:08:27,027 --> 00:08:31,698 No, no, the bus'll be along in... in 15 minutes. 83 00:08:31,702 --> 00:08:33,421 Get in the car, Maureen. 84 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,501 I did like your television show. 85 00:09:19,866 --> 00:09:21,065 What are you doing? 86 00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,486 Ah, it's a bit 'early for a reunion, isn't it? 87 00:09:23,712 --> 00:09:25,345 Get in the car, we're taking you home. 88 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,754 So, this is... 89 00:09:40,408 --> 00:09:41,752 jolly. 90 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:46,070 Okay... one word answers. 91 00:09:46,105 --> 00:09:49,361 Everyone has one word to explain why they were up on the roof in the first place. 92 00:09:49,396 --> 00:09:54,573 For example, Martin might say... "Notoriety". 93 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:58,327 - Maureen might say "Loneliness". - I'm not lonely. 94 00:09:58,564 --> 00:10:01,374 - Tell that to your cats. - I don't have cats. 95 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:05,739 I was up there because I felt... helpless. 96 00:10:05,774 --> 00:10:07,827 "Helpless", that's a very good adjective. 97 00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:10,925 Are we not fitting into your preordained boxes, Jess? 98 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:15,795 Actually, you fill your one marvelously, Martin. Was prison fun? 99 00:10:16,832 --> 00:10:20,248 You really believe you have an answer for everything, don't you? 100 00:10:20,619 --> 00:10:24,453 I really believe that you are a miserable bastard, yes. 101 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:24,458 These are by δΘΣτΘP⌠ß⌠Θ which is Greek to me. 102 00:10:24,488 --> 00:10:29,599 Actually, right now, a "Miserable bastard" is exactly what I am, have I not been hiding it well? 103 00:10:30,204 --> 00:10:32,224 - Pizza Boy? - J.J. 104 00:10:32,259 --> 00:10:34,627 Why might Pizza Boy want to die? 105 00:10:34,662 --> 00:10:37,407 What would be your reason, Jess? 106 00:10:37,442 --> 00:10:40,391 My reason would be: "Love". 107 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:43,706 Chaz, Chaz the Dickhead, he spurned me. 108 00:10:43,941 --> 00:10:45,669 I'm a spurned woman. 109 00:10:46,568 --> 00:10:47,551 Cancer. 110 00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:52,293 I was up there because I have cancer. 111 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:56,892 - I have an inoperable cancer. - We have a winner! 112 00:10:57,031 --> 00:11:02,066 It's fucking brilliant. Very impressed. Is it... is it embarrassing cancer? 113 00:11:02,101 --> 00:11:05,517 Brain... C.C.R. 114 00:11:06,039 --> 00:11:08,111 - I'm sorry, J.J. - Yeah. 115 00:11:08,346 --> 00:11:10,178 A colon would've been better. 116 00:11:11,852 --> 00:11:13,907 Oh! We're here. 117 00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:22,704 - Here? You live here? - No. 118 00:11:22,787 --> 00:11:27,019 But Chaz is likely to be here and I've got a couple of things I want to say to him. 119 00:11:29,954 --> 00:11:32,314 Good luck with your next attempt, see you in the afterlife. 120 00:11:32,315 --> 00:11:34,170 Get out, good night. 121 00:11:49,996 --> 00:11:55,182 - Unhappy little thing, isn't she? - I should have known. 122 00:11:55,621 --> 00:12:00,269 The most popular place in London for suicides are the most popular night for suicides. 123 00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:04,883 - I should have known I wouldn't be alone. - I dunno why she thought I had cats? 124 00:12:05,287 --> 00:12:08,453 She certainly swears too much, but... 125 00:12:11,621 --> 00:12:15,494 - Go on, Maureen, just say it. - I just... 126 00:12:17,749 --> 00:12:19,562 Should you be alone? 127 00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,651 All right. 128 00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:42,540 - You... you go that way, I'll go... - No, no, no, I can't do this, I can't do this. 129 00:12:42,623 --> 00:12:47,999 Hey, what else are we gonna do? And Maureen, you take... you take the bathrooms. 130 00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,927 The bathrooms, bathrooms! Okay go! 131 00:12:57,541 --> 00:13:00,502 I'm looking for a girl called Jess... Jess? 132 00:13:07,542 --> 00:13:11,836 I'm looking... I'm looking for a girl called Jess... Jess. 133 00:13:35,835 --> 00:13:38,786 Hi, I'm looking for a... 134 00:13:39,461 --> 00:13:40,389 Hi. 135 00:13:41,503 --> 00:13:42,754 - I'm looking for... - Hi. 136 00:13:43,627 --> 00:13:47,312 I am looking for a girl... Jess. 137 00:13:55,668 --> 00:14:00,320 Good... great... perfect. 138 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:23,169 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!!! 139 00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:25,489 Happy New Year!!! 140 00:14:54,965 --> 00:14:56,455 Hi. 141 00:14:58,132 --> 00:15:05,591 - You're hiding, too, are you? - Yeah, I've... I've taken some pills, we're all good. 142 00:15:05,674 --> 00:15:09,880 - What are you hiding from? - Well, you know... humans, 143 00:15:09,964 --> 00:15:13,591 - humanity, life. You? - There's a nutter who's trying to kill me. 144 00:15:13,674 --> 00:15:18,050 Your reason's better than mine then. And where is this... nutter. 145 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:21,925 - She's everywhere. - Oh, godlike is she? 146 00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:26,000 I was just hoping it was in the bad pill, and... 147 00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:30,217 Well, she... she's not supposed to be here, I'm pretty sure I've just seen her. 148 00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,794 I'm... I'm... I'm pretty sure I've seen you on Breakfast TV, so... 149 00:15:34,229 --> 00:15:36,094 maybe I'm actually having a good pill, and... 150 00:15:36,173 --> 00:15:38,753 - You're Chaz, aren't you? - How did you know that? 151 00:15:38,846 --> 00:15:41,958 I'm here with the... nutter. 152 00:15:41,993 --> 00:15:45,674 Chaz. Chaz, Chaz, Chaz, just wait, listen, listen to me, listen. 153 00:15:45,757 --> 00:15:50,093 Let's just go find her together, all right? I mean, what's the worst that can happen? 154 00:15:50,176 --> 00:15:53,636 She tried to kill me twice, got me... got me arrested once, 155 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:58,379 - I'm banned from three pubs, two clubs and a cinema. - Okay. 156 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:03,096 Just... just let me leave quietly. I've done nothing wrong. 157 00:16:03,175 --> 00:16:07,510 Nothing wrong! Taking her to bed! Nothing wrong? 158 00:16:07,594 --> 00:16:11,177 Where is she, where's Jess? We need to find her. You need to talk to her. 159 00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:14,386 She won't talk, she was just chasing me with a bread knife. 160 00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:17,564 Oh! Tonight she prepared to end her life because of what you did to her. 161 00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:18,565 - Maureen, don't. - She was? 162 00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:23,069 Yeah, that's where we met her, at the top of a tower block, preparing to... 163 00:16:23,145 --> 00:16:27,429 - What? - Hey, hey, it's Jess, come on. 164 00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,866 - How's she doing? - Great. 165 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:32,677 Do you know what she took? 166 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,359 - I dunno, drugs, alcohol, you know, the usual. - Are you her father? 167 00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:35,979 No, I'm not. 168 00:16:36,014 --> 00:16:38,034 - Next of kin? Are you next of kin? - No, no, no, no, I’m not. 169 00:16:38,069 --> 00:16:40,886 - I need to know her name. - I only... she's called Jess. 170 00:16:41,136 --> 00:16:44,387 - Sir, I need her full name. - None of us knew her before tonight. 171 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:49,598 - You need to wait here. - She's got no identification on her, no nothing. 172 00:16:49,681 --> 00:16:56,264 Yeah, well, she probably didn't want to make her identification easy... she likes things, you know, difficult. 173 00:16:56,348 --> 00:17:01,888 Hoss-pitals... not a fan, good drugs, though. 174 00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:56,808 - You late for something? - I have to make sure I'm home to make Matty some breakfast. 175 00:17:56,891 --> 00:17:59,600 - Matty? - My son. 176 00:17:59,683 --> 00:18:02,249 - You have a son? - Yes. 177 00:18:03,434 --> 00:18:06,571 His breakfast is quite complicated. 178 00:18:09,226 --> 00:18:14,560 I don't... ya know, if I'm not going to die tonight, it's important... 179 00:18:14,643 --> 00:18:18,743 that he doesn't know anything that happened. 180 00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:21,209 Here she comes. 181 00:18:24,808 --> 00:18:26,860 Oh, boy. 182 00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:35,645 Okay... just got a few things to clarify... 183 00:18:35,729 --> 00:18:40,728 Number one: My gown's open-back, 'cause they've stolen my clothes. 184 00:18:40,811 --> 00:18:43,521 So, I'm just gonna go twirl for you right now, and you can have a look at my ass. 185 00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:47,544 Just once, it's not my best feature, but that's something you'll probably find out 186 00:18:47,579 --> 00:18:49,644 the more we get to know one another. 187 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:55,103 Number two: It... it really... it wasn't an overdose. 188 00:18:55,186 --> 00:18:56,817 - It was just an accident. - Jess. 189 00:18:56,824 --> 00:18:59,061 Honestly, I just... I took all these pills. 190 00:18:59,144 --> 00:19:02,854 And then... and then I took some more, but it was... it was just for fun. 191 00:19:02,937 --> 00:19:05,104 I'd never kill myself by taking pills. 192 00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:11,189 I'd probably do something really cool like jumping off the top of a tower block. 193 00:19:11,272 --> 00:19:16,894 - Jess, we were worried. - Was I... was I on number three? I think I was on number four. 194 00:19:16,978 --> 00:19:21,102 I just wanted to say, thank you so much for caring, 195 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:24,396 because I really... I'd really appreciate that. 196 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,964 He was worried, I was trying to work out what we were still doing here. 197 00:19:30,272 --> 00:19:35,231 Now, number five... I think I was on number... six... 198 00:19:35,314 --> 00:19:41,730 Is... is it just me, because it's... it's really fucking cold out here, Guys? 199 00:19:41,813 --> 00:19:45,792 - It's really cold. - Come here... there ya go. 200 00:19:48,439 --> 00:19:51,112 - Come on in, come on. - Yeah. 201 00:19:51,201 --> 00:19:51,202 These are by δΘΣτΘP⌠ß⌠Θ which is Greek to me. 202 00:20:07,397 --> 00:20:09,222 Thanks. 203 00:20:14,815 --> 00:20:18,924 When is the next day after New Year's Eve, when everybody kills themselves? 204 00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:20,623 - Why? - Valentine's Day. 205 00:20:21,838 --> 00:20:24,567 That's six weeks away? 206 00:20:26,984 --> 00:20:31,443 Okay, here's the deal: Nobody kill themselves until then. 207 00:20:31,444 --> 00:20:32,380 Why? 208 00:20:32,415 --> 00:20:38,025 I mean, why would we want to do that, why would we not want to kill ourselves if and when and how we want, huh? 209 00:20:38,109 --> 00:20:42,817 C'mon, what's the alternative? It's some sort of Race to the Finish. 210 00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:49,651 It's me checking the obituaries every week to if Martin Sharp is dead. 211 00:20:49,735 --> 00:20:55,651 No offense, Guys, but I don't think your deaths would really make the papers. 212 00:20:55,735 --> 00:21:00,441 - Come on, it's six weeks. - It's not such a ridiculous idea. 213 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,796 Yes, Maureen! Has anybody got a pen? 214 00:21:02,797 --> 00:21:05,067 Can I have some paper, as well? 215 00:21:05,151 --> 00:21:06,161 Paper. 216 00:21:07,368 --> 00:21:08,984 Great, thanks. 217 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:13,319 "The undersigned do hereby promise 218 00:21:14,069 --> 00:21:20,362 not to kill themselves before Valentine's Day. " 219 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:23,379 Maureen, sign, just wherever you like. 220 00:21:27,776 --> 00:21:29,237 Pizza Boy. 221 00:21:30,612 --> 00:21:32,940 - Very... - You're dying anyway. 222 00:21:44,488 --> 00:21:49,065 Martin Sharp... lifesaver... 223 00:21:49,780 --> 00:21:51,540 Superman. 224 00:21:53,698 --> 00:22:00,903 Six weeks, Martin. We'll all push you off the top ourselves, if it makes any difference. 225 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:05,863 - It'll be a little Valentine's Day treat. - I'm pretty sure we're all going to live to regret this. 226 00:22:11,782 --> 00:22:15,073 Guys... look. 227 00:22:17,907 --> 00:22:20,314 So this is a new year then. 228 00:22:21,967 --> 00:22:23,185 Yeah. 229 00:22:28,365 --> 00:22:31,198 Hang on, Maureen, just a fucking question here... 230 00:22:31,281 --> 00:22:35,531 have we just written our pact on the back of your suicide note? 231 00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:37,207 Yes, it is that. 232 00:23:06,368 --> 00:23:11,326 My mom always likes to repeat this story of me as a kid being asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. 233 00:23:11,409 --> 00:23:13,904 I always used to say: Invisible. 234 00:23:14,866 --> 00:23:18,325 I don't know quite what prompted it, but the thought of it stuck with me. 235 00:23:19,201 --> 00:23:25,401 It was only later that I found out that invisibility is in fact a technical possibility. 236 00:23:25,784 --> 00:23:30,619 It was in this book that my sister stole from the Library, and I stole from my sister. 237 00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:32,868 I followed her into crime. 238 00:23:32,952 --> 00:23:37,722 But she was better at it than me. She always sort of glowed innocence, whereas 239 00:23:37,757 --> 00:23:41,825 I, to this day, just sort of... radiate guilt. 240 00:23:41,908 --> 00:23:47,869 Anyway, to be invisible is easy, you just have to find a way to diffract light. 241 00:23:47,952 --> 00:23:51,618 Whoa! You trying to get yourself killed? 242 00:23:51,701 --> 00:23:54,937 I haven't managed it yet, but I'm working on it. 243 00:23:55,828 --> 00:23:58,913 I didn't just follow him, I followed all of them. 244 00:23:58,997 --> 00:24:02,746 And it wasn't stalking, you stalk a deer in order to kill it, 245 00:24:02,829 --> 00:24:07,413 mount it, stick it on your wall, and tell the story of how fucking brilliant you are with a shotgun. 246 00:24:07,497 --> 00:24:12,328 I didn't want to kill any of them... I certainly didn't have any interest in mounting them. 247 00:24:12,411 --> 00:24:16,191 And I don't own a shotgun... though I'd like one. 248 00:24:16,246 --> 00:24:20,955 I just wanted to check-in... invisibly, to check they're sticking to the pact. 249 00:24:21,038 --> 00:24:26,247 That's not stalking, it's barely an espionage. 250 00:24:26,330 --> 00:24:29,976 Okay, now I know why you're ringing. 251 00:24:36,245 --> 00:24:38,934 Pink flamingos fly north on Tuesday. 252 00:24:39,672 --> 00:24:44,278 - Hello, Jess. - This is a top spy location now and it's hugely inconspicuous. 253 00:24:45,496 --> 00:24:52,415 Look... we had... this is a situation... I... I've... I've invited... 254 00:24:52,499 --> 00:24:56,249 - A "Situation" is what you're referring to it as? - How else would you refer to it? 255 00:24:56,332 --> 00:24:57,772 I don't know that. 256 00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:04,122 - Well... you... you did what you did. - Yeah, tried to kill myself. 257 00:25:04,205 --> 00:25:07,318 Jess, please don't put words in my mouth. this is hard enough. 258 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:08,598 - Is it, Dad? - Yes. 259 00:25:08,633 --> 00:25:10,664 Why are we doing this here, what can't we just do this at home? 260 00:25:10,780 --> 00:25:14,125 Because the press will be there and I'm trying to protect you. 261 00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:18,002 Oh, yeah, well, you've always been really great at that, haven't you? 262 00:25:18,003 --> 00:25:19,096 Jess? 263 00:25:19,208 --> 00:25:23,303 - What the hell are you doing here? - I was invited. 264 00:25:23,304 --> 00:25:24,374 You were invited? 265 00:25:24,409 --> 00:25:28,585 - A politician's daughter, I was surprised. - I called his agent, I thought we should all talk. 266 00:25:28,668 --> 00:25:30,127 - You called his agent? - Yes 267 00:25:30,221 --> 00:25:33,167 He was delighted, first call he's had in awhile. 268 00:25:34,549 --> 00:25:37,966 - Was it you... who went to the press? - No! 269 00:25:38,375 --> 00:25:41,750 - I've been trying to figure it out myself. - J.J.? 270 00:25:41,833 --> 00:25:44,669 He's too shy. Maureen? 271 00:25:44,970 --> 00:25:46,621 No, no. 272 00:25:47,056 --> 00:25:51,209 Hey! It was fucking Chaz, Chaz sold us. 273 00:25:51,461 --> 00:25:56,875 My ex-wife rang this morning, wanted to know what I'd done, asking me what she should tell the children. 274 00:25:56,958 --> 00:25:58,093 Oh, I'm going to fucking kill him. 275 00:25:58,109 --> 00:26:02,005 She told me I seemed to be the only person in the whole world that the press gets to bang on, 276 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:05,586 they say I've slept with 15-year-old, and I generally have. 277 00:26:05,668 --> 00:26:08,814 They say I've contemplated suicide, I generally have. 278 00:26:08,919 --> 00:26:11,719 Yes, I read about you with a... a girl. 279 00:26:14,336 --> 00:26:19,003 - You haven't... you two haven't? - Oh! You're asking whether we slept together? 280 00:26:19,086 --> 00:26:24,335 - I'm rotten, at least I'm legal. - Yeah, I value our friendship too much to complicate it. 281 00:26:24,418 --> 00:26:28,752 Do you plan to maintain your relationship with Jess? 282 00:26:28,835 --> 00:26:31,586 - Yeah, of course he will... we're in a gang. - We're not in a gang. 283 00:26:31,669 --> 00:26:35,586 - Yeah, you signed a pact. - Oh, yes, of course, The Pact, how could I forget? 284 00:26:35,669 --> 00:26:38,586 Yeah, Jess and I are friends for life now. 285 00:26:39,338 --> 00:26:44,921 Now, look, Martin, I'm sure I don't have to tell someone with your media training 286 00:26:45,005 --> 00:26:49,608 that what we... what we have here is... is a media fire storm. 287 00:26:49,690 --> 00:26:55,835 Yes, gentleman, this is a media fire storm. I'll leave you to it. 288 00:26:55,836 --> 00:26:56,636 Jess! Jess! 289 00:26:56,671 --> 00:26:59,310 Why don't you invite him to our family therapy, you could do that. 290 00:26:59,377 --> 00:27:02,881 Why don't you pay him to be you, Dad? 291 00:27:02,964 --> 00:27:05,133 Martin doesn't want my money! 292 00:27:08,131 --> 00:27:12,797 - You don't, do you? - Has anyone ever told you you're a bit of an idiot? 293 00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:16,491 I'm a politician, that's all they ever tell me. 294 00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:20,354 - All right. - Yep. 295 00:27:20,386 --> 00:27:23,599 - Yep, good luck. - Yep. 296 00:27:40,716 --> 00:27:43,384 This is the second tragedy for the Crichton family, 297 00:27:43,467 --> 00:27:47,627 after the disappearance of older sister Jennifer two years ago. 298 00:27:47,658 --> 00:27:50,332 Jennifer was never found. And you have to wonder 299 00:27:50,334 --> 00:27:56,323 how Shadow Education Secretary Chris Crichton will cope with this new strain upon them. 300 00:27:57,666 --> 00:28:00,884 That's all now, boys. 301 00:28:01,367 --> 00:28:06,884 ♫ Tragedy: When the feeling's gone and you can't go on, it's tragedy. ♫ 302 00:28:06,967 --> 00:28:11,177 ♫ When the morning cries and you don't know why, it's hard to bear. ♫ 303 00:28:11,261 --> 00:28:15,342 ♫ With no one to love you, you're goin' nowhere. ♫ 304 00:28:18,092 --> 00:28:19,051 ♫ Tragedy. ♫ 305 00:28:19,342 --> 00:28:20,591 Jess? 306 00:28:22,750 --> 00:28:24,109 Can I come in? 307 00:28:26,844 --> 00:28:28,550 Can I come in, Jess? 308 00:28:39,009 --> 00:28:40,601 Where have you gone now? 309 00:28:47,761 --> 00:28:48,780 Jess? 310 00:30:15,100 --> 00:30:17,892 How are you? 311 00:30:21,963 --> 00:30:27,723 - Wow! - Jess, this is Matty... my son. 312 00:30:27,806 --> 00:30:32,142 No, I mean... I mean... wow... you just... you completely wowed me. 313 00:30:32,225 --> 00:30:34,554 - Jess... - What's that mean? Wow? 314 00:30:34,567 --> 00:30:38,393 - Like wow! This is what you've been hiding in here. - Jess! Enough! 315 00:30:38,476 --> 00:30:39,496 Sorry. 316 00:30:41,683 --> 00:30:47,476 - I wasn't leaving him... that night... it was... - Maureen, no one's accusing you of anything. 317 00:30:47,559 --> 00:30:50,435 Official Services would be forced to pay for proper care. 318 00:30:50,537 --> 00:30:54,513 I mean, the standard of care they can provide, it's... it's better. 319 00:30:55,725 --> 00:30:59,056 And I don't taunt him, I've never hidden him, never. 320 00:30:59,643 --> 00:31:02,143 Can't we get back to the matter in hand, hm? 321 00:31:02,226 --> 00:31:06,890 Yeah, we're all here to figure out how to get them to leave us all alone. 322 00:31:07,002 --> 00:31:12,468 Yeah, I had three of them call my cell today. How did they even get my number? 323 00:31:12,728 --> 00:31:17,395 - Yeah, how did Chaz even remember you? - You... it's Chaz behind this? 324 00:31:17,479 --> 00:31:20,559 Yeah, I mean, you're quite cute, but you're infinitely forgettable. 325 00:31:20,643 --> 00:31:23,894 They won't... leave us alone. 326 00:31:24,269 --> 00:31:27,378 - They'll find out where you live, where Maureen lives. - What? They'll be here? 327 00:31:27,461 --> 00:31:33,384 So, I've been... I've been thinking, what if we shift the goal posts? 328 00:31:33,385 --> 00:31:36,030 - Goal posts? - Yeah, make it our story not theirs. 329 00:31:36,065 --> 00:31:41,021 I mean, there's even a possibility that we might be able to make some... money out of it. 330 00:31:41,056 --> 00:31:44,105 - Money? - Yeah, money, that would be good for Matty, wouldn't it? 331 00:31:44,188 --> 00:31:46,631 I'm sure J.J. would like a break from pizzas, and 332 00:31:46,709 --> 00:31:50,228 as a unemployed, disgraced talk show host, I could certainly do with it. 333 00:31:50,312 --> 00:31:55,312 - But I don't want Matty in the papers. - We can't stop that. 334 00:31:55,396 --> 00:32:00,355 But, at least this way we won't lose out entirely. 335 00:32:00,438 --> 00:32:04,148 - By telling our story... - What story? 336 00:32:04,231 --> 00:32:09,898 - Hey, we went up and we came back down again? - They've sold newspapers off our backs. 337 00:32:09,981 --> 00:32:13,076 - Isn't it time we got something out of it? - I... 338 00:32:16,105 --> 00:32:19,291 - Yes, okay. - Good, great. 339 00:32:21,723 --> 00:32:26,690 Yeah, I mean, if you think it's... if you think it's right, Martin, yeah, then... 340 00:32:26,774 --> 00:32:30,004 I'm fine actually, 'cause, ya know, I got my dad to nick from. 341 00:32:31,524 --> 00:32:37,093 What if we were to make the story a funny one? 342 00:32:53,565 --> 00:32:54,930 Let me tell you a story. 343 00:32:55,134 --> 00:33:04,809 We were up there, and we were ready to go, and we felt this "Presence". 344 00:33:05,234 --> 00:33:10,044 I would describe it... as light. 345 00:33:10,079 --> 00:33:13,214 E... ethereal, glowing. 346 00:33:13,215 --> 00:33:14,441 It was an angel. 347 00:33:15,984 --> 00:33:20,032 We were visited by an angel, and it looked like... like Matt Damon. 348 00:33:21,318 --> 00:33:22,491 Matt Damon. 349 00:33:24,402 --> 00:33:28,443 Fuck it, yeah, I'm... I'm with her. He looked like Matt Damon. 350 00:33:28,527 --> 00:33:29,390 Who's Matt Damon? 351 00:33:29,461 --> 00:33:35,380 No, no, it wasn't really a physical angel, it was more of a... is that what Jess told you? What else did she say? 352 00:33:35,691 --> 00:33:41,652 And he was naked and he said, he literally decreed: "Thou shalt not die tonight" 353 00:33:41,735 --> 00:33:43,789 I mean, this is Matt Damon, the Naked Angel. 354 00:33:44,319 --> 00:33:49,654 Maybe we shouldn't write all of this down. Can I talk to your editor? Used to be a good mate of mine. 355 00:33:49,689 --> 00:33:53,372 An actor? What film's has he been in? 356 00:33:53,407 --> 00:33:55,612 You're not actually gonna print this, are you? 357 00:33:55,695 --> 00:33:58,194 Yeah, yeah, no, that's how it went. 358 00:34:02,985 --> 00:34:06,612 - I had an interesting thing happen today. - Did you? 359 00:34:06,695 --> 00:34:12,612 Let me guess, your second daughter humiliated you in the pages of the national press. 360 00:34:14,363 --> 00:34:17,529 Actually, no, I was in the Member's Bar... 361 00:34:17,612 --> 00:34:25,364 And somebody came up to you and they said, "Chris, was that your daughter on the pages of the national press?" 362 00:34:25,447 --> 00:34:30,695 People have laughed at me for a long time, but I did prefer it... 363 00:34:30,779 --> 00:34:33,200 when they didn't laugh at you. 364 00:34:35,488 --> 00:34:41,634 - An angel... you told them you saw an angel. - Chris. 365 00:34:41,669 --> 00:34:45,157 And did it look like Jennifer? Is that what you were going to say? 366 00:34:48,115 --> 00:34:49,403 No. 367 00:34:52,365 --> 00:34:58,156 No, Dad, I didn't tell them it looked like Jennifer. 368 00:35:02,741 --> 00:35:05,710 I told them that it looked like Matt Damon. 369 00:35:07,491 --> 00:35:12,533 Zoom in Camera 2. Penny, you start at three, two, one. 370 00:35:12,616 --> 00:35:19,357 Many of us has been transfixed by the story of the Topper House Four and the angel that visited them. 371 00:35:19,392 --> 00:35:24,038 And we are so lucky here on Rise and Shine with Penny, to have them with us in the studio today. 372 00:35:24,073 --> 00:35:28,949 One of them certainly needs no introduction: Martin, Martin Sharp, my old co-host. 373 00:35:29,033 --> 00:35:32,060 Penny, it's an honor to be back on this old sofa again with you. 374 00:35:32,123 --> 00:35:37,492 And I'd really like to take this opportunity to correct a few misconceptions about this so-called angel... 375 00:35:37,575 --> 00:35:42,410 And we will absolutely have time for that, Martin, but it would be remiss of me not to begin the interview 376 00:35:42,493 --> 00:35:46,073 with a bit of background on what's been happening to you in the last twelve months. 377 00:35:48,619 --> 00:35:56,326 Yes, well, yes, well, Penny, currently I'm juggling various job opportunities, concentrating on being a father. 378 00:35:56,410 --> 00:35:58,568 And before that I was in prison. 379 00:35:59,051 --> 00:36:03,536 But what we'd actually like to talk to you about is what we allegedly saw on the roof. 380 00:36:03,619 --> 00:36:08,942 And of course the reason that you were in prison was for an inappropriate relationship with an underage girl. 381 00:36:12,119 --> 00:36:14,870 - That's right, Penny. - And this incident, this sex offense, 382 00:36:14,953 --> 00:36:20,661 led you to lose our job, your home, your family and finally drove you to suicidal feelings. 383 00:36:21,044 --> 00:36:26,951 - That's right, Penny. - Which is, of course, where... where he met you lovely people. 384 00:36:27,035 --> 00:36:29,703 Yeah, yeah, we... we all met up there. 385 00:36:29,787 --> 00:36:34,079 And where you saw your angel that looked like Matt Damon... tell me more. 386 00:36:34,164 --> 00:36:40,538 Wait, sorry, it wasn't an angel, that was... it was more of a light... we never agreed on an angel. 387 00:36:40,621 --> 00:36:44,744 - Now, Jess... - I really... talk to the other people before you... 388 00:36:44,827 --> 00:36:48,788 We know you mostly for your father's Shadow Education Secretary, Chris Crichton. 389 00:36:48,871 --> 00:36:52,470 You should probably talk to J.J. because he's... he is really interesting. 390 00:36:52,796 --> 00:36:59,413 I'm sure he is, I'm sure you're all fascinating, but, Jess, our sympathies lie particularly with you 391 00:36:59,496 --> 00:37:03,104 because of the devastating disappearance of your sister, Jennifer. 392 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:08,843 You should talk to Maureen, her son lives in a cage. 393 00:37:09,206 --> 00:37:14,539 But, Jess, now we focus on you, it's okay. 394 00:37:14,822 --> 00:37:18,955 - Were you close? - Penny... 395 00:37:19,039 --> 00:37:23,956 - why don't you ask someone else a question? - My old co-host still trying to co-host me there. 396 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:28,958 Jess, tell me, was that what drove you up there? 397 00:37:29,042 --> 00:37:32,062 Jennifer disappearance, it must have been so painful? 398 00:37:33,208 --> 00:37:38,330 I can see you're getting upset, you must have felt so alone. 399 00:37:38,414 --> 00:37:43,874 - I said, talk to Maureen, bitch! - Many apologies, as you can see... 400 00:37:43,957 --> 00:37:47,925 Why didn't you fucking listen to me? I told you fucking listen to me! 401 00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,430 Jess! Jess! Come back. 402 00:38:15,583 --> 00:38:21,169 - It's you. - Hey, I was just checking to see if you're... you're okay. 403 00:38:21,252 --> 00:38:24,757 Yeah, never better, Champ. 404 00:38:26,710 --> 00:38:28,988 Is that... is that right? 405 00:38:32,958 --> 00:38:37,085 - You gonna keep following me? - Do you know where you're going? 406 00:38:37,169 --> 00:38:42,189 - Yeah, I know where I'm going, I'm going where I always go. - Yeah? 407 00:38:45,669 --> 00:38:49,566 Can you walk beside me and not behind me, because my ass isn't my best feature. 408 00:38:50,711 --> 00:38:53,706 Yeah, you... you mentioned that. 409 00:38:58,338 --> 00:39:01,344 - This is where she parked it. - Parked what? 410 00:39:01,377 --> 00:39:06,623 Mom's car, my car, it was going to be my car when Jen went to university. 411 00:39:10,086 --> 00:39:13,667 Found the car, didn't find her. 412 00:39:15,161 --> 00:39:16,897 Ya know, she's gone. 413 00:39:19,547 --> 00:39:22,547 Perhaps she learned how to be invisible. 414 00:39:22,830 --> 00:39:24,994 Must be tough. 415 00:39:26,586 --> 00:39:30,703 My dad organized this nationwide search, he really, really got into it, ya know. 416 00:39:31,422 --> 00:39:35,522 Mom, from the beginning, just gave up hope. 417 00:39:40,422 --> 00:39:44,846 Anyway... at least I don't have cancer. 418 00:39:47,365 --> 00:39:50,754 Yeah... yeah. 419 00:39:55,672 --> 00:39:58,993 - You don't have cancer, do you? - What? 420 00:40:01,006 --> 00:40:02,894 I can see it, I can tell. 421 00:40:02,995 --> 00:40:06,382 If I look healthy, it's because of the drug regimen I'm on right now... 422 00:40:06,465 --> 00:40:11,091 - I've never seen you take a single pill. - Well, the drug regimen is pretty minimal. 423 00:40:11,175 --> 00:40:17,467 J.J., I'm a professional liar, you're not even a competent one. 424 00:40:22,590 --> 00:40:29,873 It just... it just came out, you know, and once it came out I couldn't take it back, so... 425 00:40:33,675 --> 00:40:37,513 You were going to jump, weren't you? You weren't just delivering pizzas and then you got too polite to... 426 00:40:37,601 --> 00:40:42,607 - No, I was... I was gonna jump, yeah. - Why? 427 00:40:46,219 --> 00:40:48,295 It's a simple enough question, J.J. 428 00:40:49,841 --> 00:40:53,940 You are a pedophile, like Martin. 429 00:40:54,884 --> 00:41:00,218 What are the chances of that... four suicide lists, one roof, 430 00:41:00,302 --> 00:41:04,387 two of them pedophiles. That's practically a convention. 431 00:41:04,470 --> 00:41:12,315 Look, I know I shouldn't have lied, it's just.. cancer seemed easier. 432 00:41:13,888 --> 00:41:16,844 - You're a strange guy, J.J. - I know. 433 00:41:18,928 --> 00:41:23,344 Fuck it, I'm stranger, I like coming to hang out at the place my sister disappeared. 434 00:41:28,428 --> 00:41:32,561 Look, what... swifts. 435 00:41:33,554 --> 00:41:38,629 Ya know, my favorite thing about swifts... they nest on the wing. 436 00:41:38,664 --> 00:41:43,053 They were born and then they're fed and the moment they leave the birthplace 437 00:41:43,136 --> 00:41:48,215 they don't come down for two years until they're ready to create other baby swifts. 438 00:41:48,428 --> 00:41:49,891 Oh, my gosh. 439 00:41:52,637 --> 00:41:57,715 You're a bird watcher, that's why you wanted to kill yourself. 440 00:42:00,515 --> 00:42:02,465 I understand now. 441 00:42:03,972 --> 00:42:06,955 - Yeah, yeah. - Good, good. 442 00:42:16,389 --> 00:42:20,559 An elephant, two elephants. 443 00:42:21,764 --> 00:42:26,239 Three elephants, four elephants. 444 00:42:27,390 --> 00:42:34,016 One elephant, two elephants, three elef ... 445 00:42:37,014 --> 00:42:39,663 My first band was called Gepetto. 446 00:42:39,740 --> 00:42:43,889 We were a grunge band, after grunge had long been forgotten. 447 00:42:43,972 --> 00:42:46,670 Timing has never been my strong suit. 448 00:42:47,474 --> 00:42:52,060 We came third in the Idaho State "Battle of the Bands", we got our pictures in the paper, 449 00:42:52,143 --> 00:42:54,185 and I was recognized in the mall. 450 00:42:55,186 --> 00:42:57,477 For me that was fame. 451 00:42:57,658 --> 00:43:01,644 But fame like this, as the Topper House Four... 452 00:43:01,727 --> 00:43:06,408 - Suicide again, then, is it? - Hi, Gladys. 453 00:43:06,443 --> 00:43:10,212 - Those press still about? - Yeah. 454 00:43:22,309 --> 00:43:27,812 In a mere three weeks, we not only not died, but we'd been on the front pages of all the tabloids 455 00:43:27,895 --> 00:43:34,599 and led many people to believe again in the existence of angels... or, at least, Jess had. 456 00:43:34,885 --> 00:43:41,420 We even had questions asked about us in Parliament... though that might have been just to embarrass Jess' dad. 457 00:43:42,186 --> 00:43:47,626 It was Martin who suggested getting away. He said we'd be like Butch and Sundance. 458 00:43:47,728 --> 00:43:51,260 Jess reminded him that it didn't work out so well for them. 459 00:43:51,603 --> 00:43:56,185 But it seemed like a good idea to get away and hope that by the time we got back 460 00:43:56,268 --> 00:44:02,082 we'd be forgotten and the world would be a kinder place... to us and for us. 461 00:44:02,317 --> 00:44:05,820 I wish I had thought life a better option than death. 462 00:44:05,903 --> 00:44:10,002 But it didn't, and wishing wasn't going to fix it. 463 00:44:10,178 --> 00:44:16,103 To quote one of Gepetto's songs, "I don't mind the pain, it's the hope that kills me". 464 00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:18,855 Yeah, we were pretty deep. 465 00:44:18,939 --> 00:44:22,010 Okay, fiver says one of us punches one of the others before the end of the holiday. 466 00:44:22,031 --> 00:44:24,545 - Punches. - Or kicks or slaps or tickles. 467 00:44:24,580 --> 00:44:27,709 One of us will use physical violence against one of the others before the week's out. 468 00:44:27,738 --> 00:44:30,066 - Okay. - This holiday's going to be disaster. 469 00:44:30,101 --> 00:44:31,304 Oh, I hope so. 470 00:44:31,404 --> 00:44:33,246 So, who's looking after Matty, Marie? 471 00:44:33,285 --> 00:44:37,664 No one, she just left some food in the fridge, and some Wet Wipes by the bed. 472 00:44:38,110 --> 00:44:41,725 - I'm sure the break would do you both a world of good. - Yeah, that's what Dr. Stephens said. 473 00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,633 - It's taken him four weeks of observations. - Your boarding pass, Ma'am. 474 00:44:45,565 --> 00:44:49,303 Your boarding pass with your flight details on it. You handed it to check-in? 475 00:44:50,371 --> 00:44:53,667 - This? - And your passport. 476 00:45:03,381 --> 00:45:04,675 Here you go. 477 00:45:11,524 --> 00:45:14,804 - Thank you very much. - Maureen. Maureen. 478 00:45:15,026 --> 00:45:17,213 - No, sorry, you can't go back. - Maureen, stop. Please, stop, Maureen. 479 00:45:17,248 --> 00:45:23,256 Please, please stop, it's just a trip, that's all, just a trip 'til all this press nonsense blows over... it's for the best. 480 00:45:23,323 --> 00:45:28,808 No! It's all... too much, I mean, I don't know you, and I don't travel well, and... 481 00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:33,985 and I... I've... I've never been on a plane before. - You've never been on a plane before? 482 00:45:34,069 --> 00:45:35,310 Shut up, Jess. 483 00:45:35,902 --> 00:45:41,652 - Maureen, if you're afraid of flying, I've got these tablets. - I'm not afraid of flying, it' just I'm... 484 00:45:41,735 --> 00:45:46,903 I didn't want to be in the papers, and I didn't want to be on TV, and I don't want to be here now, I just... 485 00:45:47,483 --> 00:45:50,125 I just want to go back to my old life, okay? 486 00:45:51,109 --> 00:45:56,365 Your old life wasn't very good, Maureen. Look, we made a pact. 487 00:45:56,735 --> 00:46:02,302 This is the final call, that will be the final call for flight CA432 to Tenerife. 488 00:46:02,385 --> 00:46:06,090 Will all remaining passengers please make their way to Gate C38 immediately. 489 00:46:06,527 --> 00:46:10,407 - It'll be fine. - Come on. 490 00:46:42,237 --> 00:46:44,294 Here's to a great holiday. 491 00:46:45,854 --> 00:46:49,417 Good afternoon, my name is Angelo and I will be your waiter. 492 00:46:49,705 --> 00:46:53,339 Well, sometimes I will, other times I will be theirs. 493 00:46:54,447 --> 00:46:58,697 - It's just a joke, but real, but a joke. - Hello, Angelo. 494 00:46:58,780 --> 00:47:02,949 - So you're from England, how nice. - Yeah, you knew, Angelo, you just talked English to us. 495 00:47:03,032 --> 00:47:07,343 I did, I did. He always this clever, your husband? 496 00:47:07,780 --> 00:47:11,862 - He is not my husband. - Let me guess, you're all lovers, right? 497 00:47:11,946 --> 00:47:16,051 What? Yes. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. No. We are. We are. 498 00:47:16,057 --> 00:47:18,656 I bring Vaseline and Maureen always brings the dildo. 499 00:47:19,490 --> 00:47:21,660 You know, someone told me you drank that Vaseline once. 500 00:47:21,971 --> 00:47:24,360 Let me think... I can't entirely remember it. 501 00:47:24,395 --> 00:47:27,019 Well, Maureen, you must keep drinking, 'til you remember. 502 00:47:28,574 --> 00:47:30,339 - We're happy. - You, too. - Good. 503 00:47:47,741 --> 00:47:52,356 The sun is so fierce, and the sea is so sparkly and blue. 504 00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:57,598 - Oh, Maureen, tell me that you've seen the sea before? - Yes, I've seen the sea before. 505 00:47:57,660 --> 00:47:59,812 - We're going in? - No. 506 00:47:59,839 --> 00:48:02,075 - Of course you are! - I don't have a swimming costume. 507 00:48:02,183 --> 00:48:03,608 Underwear'll be fine. 508 00:48:46,194 --> 00:48:49,870 - Hey. - Hey. - Hey. 509 00:48:53,735 --> 00:48:58,115 Maureen just called me up on the hotel phone, surprised to have her own bathroom. 510 00:48:59,443 --> 00:49:04,275 - She thinks that this place is the height of luxury. - Yeah, it is kinda cool, huh? 511 00:49:05,079 --> 00:49:07,491 Cheapest place I've stayed in for 20 years. 512 00:49:08,418 --> 00:49:09,720 Yeah? 513 00:49:09,831 --> 00:49:15,633 Doesn't feel strange, does it, us, being away together? 514 00:49:15,639 --> 00:49:18,164 No, no, it feels good. 515 00:49:18,247 --> 00:49:20,392 I thought I knew what I was doing with the press. 516 00:49:21,275 --> 00:49:24,416 - And then... - And then what, Jess' melt down and... 517 00:49:24,505 --> 00:49:28,177 No, no, no, then I realized I got it all wrong, I thought people would like it. 518 00:49:29,163 --> 00:49:32,460 I thought we'd make money and people would find it eccentric and... 519 00:49:32,479 --> 00:49:34,125 - heartwarming. - Heartwarming? 520 00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:39,278 Four peoples, five suicides, find hope, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, ya know. 521 00:49:39,706 --> 00:49:42,474 I mean, it's the kind of good-news story the press love. 522 00:49:49,785 --> 00:49:52,223 I underestimated how much they hate me. 523 00:49:52,581 --> 00:49:55,599 It's not just about you, Martin. 524 00:49:56,622 --> 00:50:00,149 You know... I envy you. 525 00:50:01,224 --> 00:50:05,429 You, your cancer, I mean, it's so cut and dry. 526 00:50:05,466 --> 00:50:11,714 No, really, really, J.J., I am so impressed with you, I mean, you hardly let it faze you. 527 00:50:12,834 --> 00:50:16,197 And that is something to drink to. Here ya go. 528 00:50:17,591 --> 00:50:19,246 Put hairs on your chest. 529 00:50:23,158 --> 00:50:24,655 To your health. 530 00:50:30,042 --> 00:50:32,401 You know what I feel, when I wake up in the mornings? 531 00:50:35,250 --> 00:50:36,958 Humiliated. 532 00:50:39,294 --> 00:50:43,247 You know what I feel at lunchtime? Humiliated. 533 00:50:44,125 --> 00:50:48,484 My life is a constant stream of humiliation. 534 00:50:48,567 --> 00:50:54,137 I don't feel sad and I don't feel angry, I just feel... humiliated. 535 00:50:58,761 --> 00:51:00,732 To humiliation. 536 00:51:05,462 --> 00:51:09,494 Okay, God gives you three wishes. 537 00:51:09,543 --> 00:51:14,961 Ah! God's not a Tombola machine, Martin, he just doesn't give wishes. 538 00:51:15,044 --> 00:51:17,794 - Three wishes, anything you want. - That's easy. 539 00:51:17,877 --> 00:51:22,419 Billions of pounds and my own personal hit man. 540 00:51:22,502 --> 00:51:27,462 And a Court waiver over anything I want to do. 541 00:51:29,128 --> 00:51:30,278 - Really? - Um-hm. 542 00:51:32,129 --> 00:51:35,959 I'd... I'd want... to get more help... 543 00:51:36,377 --> 00:51:41,326 - a bit more of a... a life. - What's: "A bit more of a life"? 544 00:51:41,361 --> 00:51:47,613 - Just what other people have. - What do other people have? 545 00:51:47,696 --> 00:51:51,111 And I'd wish my son all better, which is why I don't do wishes. 546 00:51:53,555 --> 00:51:56,931 I'd want to be famous again, the right kind of famous. 547 00:51:57,505 --> 00:52:01,502 I mean, being famous is great, everyone thinks it's difficult, but it's not. 548 00:52:01,712 --> 00:52:06,472 I mean, ya get to have the best seats in restaurants, people smile at you on planes. 549 00:52:06,479 --> 00:52:12,332 It's great, and whatever you do you feel vindicated by your own fame. 550 00:52:12,380 --> 00:52:16,249 And you never, ever feel humiliated. 551 00:52:18,190 --> 00:52:20,110 It's certainly better than real life, anyway. 552 00:52:20,111 --> 00:52:22,031 Wow! 553 00:52:22,381 --> 00:52:26,717 - You're so deep. - No, I'm just honest. 554 00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:30,630 - Martin, it... - What?! You're nothing if you're not noticed. 555 00:52:30,714 --> 00:52:32,767 Okay, fame or your kids. 556 00:52:34,946 --> 00:52:37,500 - Martin, you don't mean that. - Don't I? 557 00:52:38,223 --> 00:52:41,653 Okay, this is a bad game. 558 00:52:47,133 --> 00:52:53,052 Okay, I wonder what J.J. would choose as his three wishes? 559 00:52:54,033 --> 00:52:58,965 'Cause obviously you'd... you'd want to kill your cancer, to start. 560 00:53:01,175 --> 00:53:03,441 I'm gonna go use the restroom. 561 00:53:03,497 --> 00:53:07,512 Then you'd probably want loads of money so that you can donate it to cancer research. 562 00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:12,139 Ya know, other people are allowed to be in pain, you know that, Jess? 563 00:53:17,301 --> 00:53:22,098 Hey! My English friends! How are we doing tonight? 564 00:53:23,592 --> 00:53:26,859 - It's just... - Peachy, Angelo peachy. 565 00:53:26,894 --> 00:53:29,088 Great! Keep drinkin'. 566 00:53:37,345 --> 00:53:40,911 - You're sitting in my seat. - What? 567 00:53:41,386 --> 00:53:44,937 I'd find another seat but you're also sitting on my shawl. 568 00:53:45,428 --> 00:53:49,077 Oh, shit! Sorry... there. 569 00:53:56,470 --> 00:53:59,079 You know, I think I recognize you from somewhere. 570 00:54:02,054 --> 00:54:09,554 Yeah, there's this thing that... we have been in the papers a bit recently, so... 571 00:54:10,679 --> 00:54:12,544 No, that's not it. 572 00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:20,012 - Are you in a band? - What? 573 00:54:20,096 --> 00:54:23,648 Yeah, you supported Alt-J? Manchester Towers? 574 00:54:23,683 --> 00:54:27,531 Two years ago, it was the first time we came to Britain. 575 00:54:27,566 --> 00:54:31,396 You're the front man, right? I remember loving your lyrics. 576 00:54:31,806 --> 00:54:35,598 Really, yeah, wow, ya know, I... I... I wrote those. 577 00:54:35,982 --> 00:54:39,067 Adolescent shit, mostly. 578 00:54:40,173 --> 00:54:42,370 Are you still serious about it? 579 00:54:44,429 --> 00:54:47,824 - I was, now I'm not so... - What's your name? 580 00:54:48,848 --> 00:54:51,966 - J.J. - Which stands for...? 581 00:54:53,723 --> 00:54:56,789 John Julius. 582 00:54:58,606 --> 00:55:04,440 - Hi, John Julius, I'm Kathy. - Hello, Kathy. 583 00:55:07,441 --> 00:55:08,311 Wow! 584 00:55:08,312 --> 00:55:12,770 ♫ At first I was afraid, I was petrified ♫ 585 00:55:12,771 --> 00:55:16,782 ♫ I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side ♫ 586 00:55:16,817 --> 00:55:19,348 This is brilliant! Yeah! 587 00:55:20,223 --> 00:55:23,147 I love it! This is beautiful! Beautiful! 588 00:55:24,183 --> 00:55:27,489 - Who's that? - That is... my uncle. 589 00:55:28,359 --> 00:55:32,341 - I think I recognize him. - Yeah, he's... he's vaguely famous. 590 00:55:32,485 --> 00:55:36,198 Ah, a failed musician with a vaguely famous uncle, I am a lucky girl. 591 00:55:37,807 --> 00:55:39,314 See you later, babe. 592 00:55:39,315 --> 00:55:43,508 ♫ ...changed my fucking lock, I would have made you leave your key ♫ 593 00:55:43,509 --> 00:55:49,175 ♫ if I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me. ♫ 594 00:55:49,176 --> 00:55:55,627 ♫ Oh, now go walk out the door just turn around ♫ 595 00:55:55,628 --> 00:55:59,125 ♫ 'cause you're not welcome anymore ♫ 596 00:55:59,526 --> 00:56:05,711 ♫ weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire, did you think I'd crumble ♫ 597 00:56:06,112 --> 00:56:10,928 ♫ Did you think I'd lay down and die Oh no, not I ♫ 598 00:56:10,929 --> 00:56:19,017 ♫ I will survive, yeah, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive ♫ 599 00:56:19,018 --> 00:56:24,130 ♫ I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give ♫ 600 00:56:24,131 --> 00:56:28,201 ♫ I will survive, I will survive ♫ 601 00:56:31,518 --> 00:56:35,347 - So, you're out here on your own. - Um-hm. 602 00:56:36,645 --> 00:56:38,861 Other people just crowd it and make it about themselves. 603 00:56:40,104 --> 00:56:43,225 So, you're... you're here with family? Your uncle and...? 604 00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:48,334 Yeah, a bit of family... friends... sort of. 605 00:56:49,763 --> 00:56:54,404 But you don't like them? I mean, you ran away from them at the bar. 606 00:56:54,747 --> 00:56:59,954 No, I was thinking it'd be a little... a little intense, ya know? 607 00:57:02,355 --> 00:57:06,532 - And you don't like intense? - No... 608 00:57:07,729 --> 00:57:11,922 Yeah, I can't really talk, because... I'm intense. 609 00:57:13,815 --> 00:57:19,773 Good, because if you're looking for a neurosis free girl, you're bang out of luck. 610 00:57:19,857 --> 00:57:21,250 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 611 00:57:21,526 --> 00:57:25,594 - Really? - Yeah, I once set fire to my hair. 612 00:57:25,813 --> 00:57:30,780 Just to see what would happen. I was 10, and it didn't improve my look. 613 00:57:31,023 --> 00:57:37,880 Oh, well, that's... that's nothing, when I was a kid I jumped off our roof just to see if I could hurt myself, and, 614 00:57:37,915 --> 00:57:43,315 yeah, I broke my leg, and I.. I kinda liked it. 615 00:57:43,399 --> 00:57:49,618 Okay, well, how's this for psycho... I... I carved my ex-boyfriend's initials into my left inner thigh, 616 00:57:49,692 --> 00:57:54,928 as a way of telling him that no one else would ever see the... see there. 617 00:57:54,982 --> 00:58:00,952 Easy, I... I recently told some people that I had cancer 618 00:58:01,232 --> 00:58:07,240 to avoid telling them the real reason I had for attempting suicide. 619 00:58:07,693 --> 00:58:11,288 That is intense. What... what was the real reason? 620 00:58:11,326 --> 00:58:17,969 I... ya know, I don't know. I do know that I'm now part of the pact. 621 00:58:18,528 --> 00:58:22,252 - That I had to lie to become a mem... - What pact? 622 00:58:23,818 --> 00:58:29,610 Just a... just a bunch of desperate people being desperate... together 623 00:58:29,693 --> 00:58:33,068 as a way of feeling a little less desperate. 624 00:58:35,227 --> 00:58:40,600 - Okay, you win the psycho game. - Good, good. 625 00:58:40,677 --> 00:58:43,110 I always wanted to win that game. 626 00:58:59,937 --> 00:59:02,800 I haven't done this for awhile, so... 627 00:59:46,439 --> 00:59:48,920 - Okay, now I'm going to say something. - Oh, fuck! 628 00:59:48,930 --> 00:59:53,364 Because if I wait and said nothing and then you spot me after you've kissed, I think I would probably be worse. 629 00:59:53,781 --> 00:59:57,700 - Wait... how did... how did you...? - Just took a credit card and a bit of spit, and... 630 00:59:57,783 --> 01:00:03,774 - hotel security is not what it should be. - How long have you been there? 631 01:00:06,993 --> 01:00:14,962 I just really wanted to apologize for earlier because I don't know... I don't know why I said that. 632 01:00:16,691 --> 01:00:19,359 And then I was probably going to try and shag you. 633 01:00:21,866 --> 01:00:24,932 - She's really pretty, though, so well done! - Hey. 634 01:00:25,016 --> 01:00:28,116 You don't have to say anything, ya can take that one as a compliment. 635 01:00:29,492 --> 01:00:32,538 And I'll just leave... quietly. 636 01:00:34,406 --> 01:00:39,380 - Hey, Jess... - You know, I'd really would prefer it if you don't say anything. 637 01:00:42,075 --> 01:00:46,052 - You do know she's a journalist though, right? - What? 638 01:00:46,142 --> 01:00:50,824 Look in her bag, 'cause I saw her check her recorder in the bar. 639 01:00:52,535 --> 01:00:55,967 - Oh my God. - So, she fucked you though, right? 640 01:00:58,745 --> 01:01:00,338 So, at least she's thorough. 641 01:01:02,447 --> 01:01:03,595 Hey! Hey! 642 01:01:12,861 --> 01:01:14,039 What pact? 643 01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:19,839 Just a... just a bunch of desperate people being desperate... together 644 01:01:19,874 --> 01:01:22,709 as a way of feeling a little less desperate. 645 01:01:22,710 --> 01:01:28,306 ♫ Shadows settle on the place, that you left. ♫ 646 01:01:28,341 --> 01:01:33,605 ♫ Our minds are troubled by the emptiness. ♫ 647 01:01:35,048 --> 01:01:40,691 ♫ Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time. ♫ 648 01:01:40,692 --> 01:01:46,302 ♫ From the perfect start to the finish line. ♫ 649 01:01:46,854 --> 01:01:52,590 ♫ And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones. ♫ 650 01:01:53,496 --> 01:01:59,667 ♫ 'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs. ♫ 651 01:01:59,668 --> 01:02:05,477 ♫ Setting fire to our insides for fun ♫ 652 01:02:05,478 --> 01:02:11,299 ♫ Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong ♫ 653 01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:14,033 ♫ The lovers that went wrong. ♫ 654 01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:36,867 ♫ We are the reckless, we are the wild youth ♫ 655 01:02:37,939 --> 01:02:42,052 ♫ Chasing visions of our futures ♫ 656 01:03:12,460 --> 01:03:16,253 - I think it's sweet. - I think it's unsanitary. 657 01:03:16,616 --> 01:03:19,846 No, only part of you thinks that, the other part thinks it's sweet. 658 01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:23,689 Why are you waiting here? 659 01:03:23,761 --> 01:03:27,721 I'm waiting for them to finish this tray of scrambled eggs and bring in a new tray. 660 01:03:27,756 --> 01:03:30,317 But the scrambled eggs are never fresh, Martin. 661 01:03:30,836 --> 01:03:36,431 I might not have been on a lot of holidays, but I've been in a lot of hospitals and I understand institutional catering. 662 01:03:37,670 --> 01:03:40,989 Who are all those people and why do they eat so much? 663 01:03:41,287 --> 01:03:43,402 They're having a good time, that's all. 664 01:03:47,303 --> 01:03:51,524 Martin, thank you for arranging this holiday. 665 01:03:51,986 --> 01:03:57,583 - I think it's been good for me. - You really don't understand what a disaster we all are, do you? 666 01:03:58,554 --> 01:04:03,692 - Come on, let's get you some breakfast. - Yeah, good idea, good idea. 667 01:04:03,727 --> 01:04:07,158 - The prunes are very good. - Don't like prunes. 668 01:04:28,214 --> 01:04:30,964 - Hi. - G'morning, J.J. 669 01:04:31,047 --> 01:04:35,464 I might've said some stupid things last night, drink has never been my friend, I try not to... 670 01:04:35,512 --> 01:04:40,354 So, I got a few things to say, and... I don't think you're gonna like. 671 01:04:41,689 --> 01:04:45,554 - You moving back to America? - Yeah, I'm gonna start with the biggest. 672 01:04:46,681 --> 01:04:52,670 I don't have cancer of the brain, I don't have C.C.R. 673 01:04:52,673 --> 01:04:57,949 - They've cured you! - No, Maureen, I... I never had it. 674 01:04:58,432 --> 01:05:04,281 I... I made it all up, there's actually no such thing as a C.C.R. 675 01:05:04,364 --> 01:05:08,822 It's just Creedence Clearwater Revival, are one of my favorite bands, but... 676 01:05:08,906 --> 01:05:10,457 I wasn't going to say anything. 677 01:05:10,537 --> 01:05:13,167 - Did you know about this? - Ya know, I thought there was something strange. 678 01:05:13,189 --> 01:05:17,116 So, why... why, J.J., were you up there? 679 01:05:17,199 --> 01:05:19,968 - He can't answer that, that's personal. - I'm sure he had good reasons. 680 01:05:20,059 --> 01:05:23,372 - Oh! Did he? J.J., did you? - Yeah. 681 01:05:25,326 --> 01:05:28,932 Guys, actually, I need to postpone this conversation... 682 01:05:30,412 --> 01:05:35,168 We... we had a pact. I... I trusted you, I liked you! 683 01:05:35,259 --> 01:05:38,934 - Martin, please, just sit down, we'll talk about this another time. - Another time? I mean, what time would you like... 684 01:05:39,017 --> 01:05:44,239 - Hey, where were you? - Oh! Right! Great! We all stop for your girlfriend, do we? 685 01:05:44,275 --> 01:05:50,309 She's not my girlfriend, okay, she's... she's a journalist. 686 01:05:50,343 --> 01:05:52,214 - What? - Look, I didn't know... 687 01:05:52,215 --> 01:05:54,485 You don't know much, do you? 688 01:05:54,552 --> 01:05:58,744 If... if... if... if he didn't know, he didn't know, I mean, we've had bad things written about us before. 689 01:05:58,850 --> 01:06:04,285 Look, I understand that you are angry, but, please, Martin, I'm feeling pretty humiliated... 690 01:06:04,368 --> 01:06:07,865 Fuck! You don't understand anything, you certainly don't understand humiliation. 691 01:06:07,866 --> 01:06:11,523 - Martin, you're being dramatic! - You're a leach! You're a fake! You're a fraud! 692 01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:15,873 - John, this isn't... - Who the fuck is John?! 693 01:06:15,962 --> 01:06:22,288 - I'm... look! I'm John, and, you know what, I'm not a fraud. - Stop it! Remember the Pact. 694 01:06:22,471 --> 01:06:24,044 Fuck the Pact! 695 01:06:25,126 --> 01:06:27,122 I'm not a crook! 696 01:07:34,599 --> 01:07:40,041 Good morning, Sunshine. Hello, Sweetheart. 697 01:07:40,616 --> 01:07:45,601 Lovely Sleepyhead... how are you? 698 01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:48,494 Good morning. All right, here we go. 699 01:07:48,507 --> 01:07:52,955 Not having Matty with me on the Holiday, it... it felt like I was missing a leg. 700 01:07:54,057 --> 01:07:57,858 Strange... light. 701 01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:01,002 That's probably not like missing a leg at all. 702 01:08:01,434 --> 01:08:06,195 I don't imagine most people's first impressions of leg loss is weightlessness. 703 01:08:13,232 --> 01:08:17,061 How's that? There we are. 704 01:08:20,843 --> 01:08:25,922 I missed him most when the plane was landing, it shook a little on descent. 705 01:08:26,509 --> 01:08:31,250 I thought I was going to die, and I hadn't said goodbye. 706 01:08:51,060 --> 01:08:55,807 J.J.'s girlfriend's piece meant the story... our story, didn't die. 707 01:08:56,162 --> 01:09:00,510 But Martin said to concentrate on being boring and they'd eventually leave us alone. 708 01:09:01,163 --> 01:09:04,257 So, that's what I did. Not difficult. 709 01:09:04,972 --> 01:09:07,224 And as for the others... 710 01:09:07,237 --> 01:09:14,383 as soon as we landed, we scattered in different directions like we were allergic to each other. 711 01:09:14,412 --> 01:09:20,687 The Pact was broken beyond repair, and without the Pact, our friendship was broken, too. 712 01:09:22,955 --> 01:09:26,496 I still saw them, actually, every now and again. 713 01:09:28,305 --> 01:09:32,266 I saw Jess in places she shouldn't be. 714 01:09:33,565 --> 01:09:36,493 And I did make a little effort to find J.J. 715 01:09:38,196 --> 01:09:40,365 Just to check he was okay. 716 01:09:49,290 --> 01:09:51,178 I never saw Martin. 717 01:09:54,749 --> 01:10:01,047 Though, mostly I got on with my life and hoped they got on with theirs. 718 01:10:16,366 --> 01:10:21,068 Matty did really well. We did some interesting reflex work. 719 01:10:22,125 --> 01:10:25,933 Nice to have him properly looked after for once. 720 01:10:26,152 --> 01:10:27,684 He reacted well to company. 721 01:10:28,268 --> 01:10:30,383 I’m sure he loved a change from my blathering. 722 01:10:30,733 --> 01:10:34,980 - We couldn't get him out of this pool. - Well, he's always loved water. 723 01:10:35,041 --> 01:10:40,636 Ya know, there might be a slot for him to come to one of my weekly sessions, if you'd like it. 724 01:10:41,593 --> 01:10:46,121 - Oh, I'm sure he'd love it. - I'll add him to the list. 725 01:10:46,485 --> 01:10:52,893 - You know, you look like you caught a bit of color. - Ya know, I... 726 01:10:55,600 --> 01:11:02,989 From the pictures in the papers, it looked like you picked a very nice spot. 727 01:11:04,493 --> 01:11:07,724 Yes... well... 728 01:12:46,065 --> 01:12:49,565 Matty? Matty? 729 01:12:50,733 --> 01:12:52,136 Matty! 730 01:12:54,867 --> 01:12:57,384 No! No! 731 01:13:04,459 --> 01:13:05,903 Matty! 732 01:13:09,004 --> 01:13:10,365 Matty! 733 01:14:03,318 --> 01:14:05,086 Hey, Maureen. 734 01:14:24,030 --> 01:14:27,658 - You came, too? - Yeah, nothin' on TV. 735 01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:34,190 This is my dad, he drove me. He'll probably say something really moving. 736 01:14:34,239 --> 01:14:39,452 - I'm very sorry to hear about your son, Maureen. - Wasn't one of his best attempts, was it? 737 01:14:40,922 --> 01:14:47,950 - I'm... I'm really grateful you're all... you're all here. - Of course we're here. 738 01:14:53,782 --> 01:14:56,958 - This isn't tea. - Oh, I know, it's hot chocolate. 739 01:14:57,042 --> 01:15:00,067 - I asked for tea. - Well, I was buying, I don't like the smell of tea. 740 01:15:00,515 --> 01:15:05,623 - So, when do you buy rounds in pubs... - Pink Gins, then you never have to buy a round ever again. 741 01:15:05,656 --> 01:15:08,975 It's clever, right? Is J.J. still not here, then? 742 01:15:10,341 --> 01:15:13,660 I couldn't get through to him, he's probably not picked up his messages. 743 01:15:13,692 --> 01:15:16,436 Yeah, it's either that or he really doesn't care, it's one way or the other. 744 01:15:16,471 --> 01:15:19,009 I genuinely don't know how you've survived her? 745 01:15:19,244 --> 01:15:22,359 - Earplugs. - I am going to make you go and sit in the car in a minute. 746 01:15:22,443 --> 01:15:26,544 - Earplugs and pink gin. - He wasn't the reason I was up there. 747 01:15:27,216 --> 01:15:29,082 Matty. 748 01:15:30,075 --> 01:15:34,151 - He wasn't... - No? 749 01:15:35,209 --> 01:15:37,652 Ya know, there were lots of reasons I was up on that roof. 750 01:15:39,768 --> 01:15:42,739 You once asked me why, Jess. 751 01:15:43,826 --> 01:15:47,425 And I... I said... I said I... I felt helpless. 752 01:15:53,092 --> 01:15:58,013 But the truth is, I... I've not... I've not done a list for living and a list for... 753 01:15:59,543 --> 01:16:03,364 Ya know, it was a feeling, not a thought. 754 01:16:06,786 --> 01:16:09,019 But not one of all those reasons was... 755 01:16:11,211 --> 01:16:16,458 was that I didn't love my son... not one of them... not one. 756 01:16:22,828 --> 01:16:24,561 Maureen, we know that. 757 01:16:32,453 --> 01:16:37,862 Oh, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 758 01:16:37,946 --> 01:16:41,445 No, no, he's fine. Maureen, Maureen... he's fine. 759 01:16:43,180 --> 01:16:45,173 - What? - We're going to keep monitoring him. 760 01:16:45,252 --> 01:16:48,472 But he's no longer critical... he'll be fine. 761 01:16:48,921 --> 01:16:51,565 - He'll be fine? - Yeah, he'll be fine. 762 01:16:52,145 --> 01:16:53,433 Okay. 763 01:16:54,403 --> 01:17:00,100 Now, the tubes look worse than they are and we'll remove some tonight, and the rest, hopefully will be out tomorrow. 764 01:17:01,427 --> 01:17:05,932 I should have seen it coming, if he'd had... if he'd had proper care, then... 765 01:17:05,967 --> 01:17:09,575 Maureen, you saved him. 766 01:17:10,399 --> 01:17:13,187 It was a myocardial infarction. 767 01:17:15,255 --> 01:17:19,595 He... he had a heart attack of sorts, his symptoms were almost invisible. 768 01:17:20,806 --> 01:17:25,541 I did not see it. I was monitoring it and I didn't... 769 01:17:26,464 --> 01:17:31,262 But you caught it, you saved his life. 770 01:17:36,216 --> 01:17:38,615 Matty's a very lucky boy to have you. 771 01:17:40,698 --> 01:17:45,571 I only had one thought... when he... 772 01:17:48,248 --> 01:17:51,681 If he dies, I die. 773 01:17:53,282 --> 01:17:55,943 Well, he lived. 774 01:18:00,501 --> 01:18:04,917 And... and... and maybe he feels the same way about you as you do about him. 775 01:18:06,415 --> 01:18:08,364 Have you ever considered that? 776 01:18:19,417 --> 01:18:21,402 - It is Valentine's Day. - Um-hm. 777 01:18:21,793 --> 01:18:23,108 - Martin. - Yeah. 778 01:18:23,131 --> 01:18:24,968 - Today is Valentine's Day. - Good. 779 01:18:24,969 --> 01:18:25,759 - Martin! - Yeah. 780 01:18:25,794 --> 01:18:27,967 Breakfast TV's completely messed-up your brain, hasn't it? 781 01:18:27,968 --> 01:18:29,368 Come on. 782 01:18:29,594 --> 01:18:32,950 - Oh! J.J. The Pact. - Get Maureen, I'm gonna find J.J. now! 783 01:18:32,970 --> 01:18:35,050 Yeah... oh, shit. 784 01:18:58,263 --> 01:19:01,851 - Have you... have you seen J.J.? - J.J. is gone. 785 01:19:02,244 --> 01:19:03,170 Gone? 786 01:19:03,246 --> 01:19:07,020 Yeah, he's a prick, he left over a week ago, didn't even serve notice. 787 01:19:07,929 --> 01:19:14,008 That prick, you're talking about, Paolo, happens to be my daughter's friend. 788 01:19:14,820 --> 01:19:17,012 And you'd do well to remember that. 789 01:19:24,047 --> 01:19:26,386 Your are called Paolo, aren't you? 790 01:19:29,379 --> 01:19:34,805 It just that it says Paolo's Place outside, and you... certainly sound Italian, you... 791 01:19:35,788 --> 01:19:37,658 look like Italian, and... 792 01:19:39,355 --> 01:19:42,144 - Love your tats. - Come on, Dad. 793 01:19:50,323 --> 01:19:53,494 - Hello? - Oh, yes, hi, hi, hello. 794 01:19:53,529 --> 01:19:56,076 - What? - I'm looking for J.J. 795 01:19:56,589 --> 01:19:59,239 - Who? - John, John Julius. 796 01:20:20,268 --> 01:20:21,439 Oh, J.J. 797 01:21:35,896 --> 01:21:38,121 Oh, I hoped you wouldn't be up here. 798 01:21:40,480 --> 01:21:46,361 Do you know that three people have killed themselves from this building between New Year's and today? 799 01:21:48,038 --> 01:21:53,184 Sue Chomlin, housewife and manic depressive. 800 01:21:54,605 --> 01:21:59,672 David Frommet, banker who lost everything, and... 801 01:21:59,755 --> 01:22:03,466 Ben Peterson... he was only fifteen. 802 01:22:03,522 --> 01:22:07,381 So, you're going to... join 'em? 803 01:22:07,416 --> 01:22:13,854 I kept to the Pact, Martin, okay, just leave, it's none of your business now. 804 01:22:13,889 --> 01:22:16,945 True. Why, though, J.J.? 805 01:22:17,788 --> 01:22:21,543 - Why are you up here? - That's the thing... 806 01:22:22,031 --> 01:22:26,541 Martin, I... I didn't lie you, I don't know. 807 01:22:26,617 --> 01:22:29,665 You... don't know? 808 01:22:29,699 --> 01:22:33,233 That makes my reason better than any of yours. 809 01:22:33,317 --> 01:22:35,552 I wasn't aware that this was a competition. 810 01:22:36,780 --> 01:22:41,592 You see, what Jess needs is to feel important. 811 01:22:42,832 --> 01:22:47,790 Maureen needs to feel... loved. 812 01:22:48,783 --> 01:22:53,240 And you, you just... you just need to grow a brain. 813 01:22:54,458 --> 01:22:58,863 - Fair enough. - That you can solve your problems. 814 01:22:59,226 --> 01:23:03,401 But me, I can't. Martin, Martin, stop! 815 01:23:03,857 --> 01:23:08,199 Martin! Just stop walking. Three steps and I'm gone, just... 816 01:23:09,741 --> 01:23:16,701 Oh, God... look... I'm just... I'm just tired... 817 01:23:16,901 --> 01:23:22,654 of being scared all the time and not knowing why. 818 01:23:22,861 --> 01:23:28,909 I'm tired of being... trying... trying to change and not knowin' how. 819 01:23:29,667 --> 01:23:35,623 Ya know, leavin' my latest shit band... movin' countries... 820 01:23:38,060 --> 01:23:46,240 Because however much I do... change... I'm left with me. 821 01:23:51,578 --> 01:23:55,747 Sounds like you got it all worked-out, J.J. It's logical. 822 01:23:55,806 --> 01:24:02,126 The reason why you wanna die is because you don't wanna live. It's as simple as that, right? 823 01:24:02,611 --> 01:24:06,613 - I used to think like that, too. - J.J.! 824 01:24:09,946 --> 01:24:13,123 - And then there were four. - Don't you get it? I mean, we made it. 825 01:24:13,288 --> 01:24:19,223 All right, we all made it to Valentine's Day and nothing, okay, nothing, absolutely nothing has changed! 826 01:24:19,239 --> 01:24:23,813 - But, everything has changed. - What!? 827 01:24:26,396 --> 01:24:32,072 We are standing in entirely different positions, for one thing. 828 01:24:32,155 --> 01:24:35,267 I didn't ever want to be up here again, J.J, I'm pretty sure none of us did. 829 01:24:35,358 --> 01:24:39,781 He's right, ya know, it's shit up here. 830 01:24:41,694 --> 01:24:43,297 I hope... 831 01:24:43,339 --> 01:24:47,628 I think we still matter to you, J.J. 832 01:24:48,482 --> 01:24:51,333 I mean, why else would you pick Valentine's Day? 833 01:24:53,230 --> 01:24:58,676 You may think you want to die, but you knew we'd look for you. 834 01:25:00,781 --> 01:25:04,573 We're not up here because we want to die, we're here for you. 835 01:25:04,657 --> 01:25:09,653 The Topper House Four! We belong together, we're a team. 836 01:25:09,926 --> 01:25:13,619 I mean we're the worst team the world has ever known, and if I was picking, 837 01:25:13,638 --> 01:25:18,349 I mean, none of you would have made to on the sub's bench, but still, we're a team. 838 01:25:21,750 --> 01:25:26,461 I know. It's not much, son... 839 01:25:26,501 --> 01:25:34,191 But... maybe... we're a start. 840 01:25:47,984 --> 01:25:50,243 You can't even see the bottom. 841 01:26:08,536 --> 01:26:10,671 320 Days later. 842 01:26:14,152 --> 01:26:15,683 Hello? 843 01:26:16,928 --> 01:26:20,244 Hello? Can anybody hear me? 844 01:26:20,328 --> 01:26:24,311 - We can hear you and see you, Martin. - Bonsoir, Martin. 845 01:26:24,387 --> 01:26:26,778 Where's the button for this? 846 01:26:27,304 --> 01:26:32,488 - Oh! How are you?. - Maureen, is that glitter on your face? 847 01:26:32,529 --> 01:26:35,300 No, no... yes. 848 01:26:35,338 --> 01:26:42,079 Matty... Matty seems to like glitter, and we're having a kind of... well... New Year's Eve party. 849 01:26:42,162 --> 01:26:49,419 - Maureen, you Rager. - Jess, please! Trying to keep the noise down out here, okay? Sh! 850 01:26:49,487 --> 01:26:54,905 It was Dr. Stephens' ... Robert's idea, actually. Yeah, he's been hugely helpful. 851 01:26:54,981 --> 01:26:58,296 In return for me joining his quiz team which has caused much 852 01:26:58,305 --> 01:27:03,028 controversy, because I was supposed to join another quiz team and it's... it's kinda complicated. 853 01:27:03,165 --> 01:27:04,720 Sounds complicated. 854 01:27:05,258 --> 01:27:10,064 - I saw your dad got promoted, Jess. - Okay, we must have better news than that, c'mon, somebody say something. 855 01:27:10,147 --> 01:27:17,049 Martin? Why don't you stoke-up this party, why don't you tell us about some of your most recent bedtime conquests. 856 01:27:17,090 --> 01:27:21,758 Well, I'm often asleep by 10, on my own, exhausted. 857 01:27:22,657 --> 01:27:26,604 Are children famous for getting you up early in the morning? I had no idea. 858 01:27:26,898 --> 01:27:30,886 God! When did we all turn into Little House on the Fucking Prairie? 859 01:27:30,992 --> 01:27:34,511 How I've missed you... all. 860 01:27:34,589 --> 01:27:38,740 Ya know, I... I got somethin' to say... my... my therapist... 861 01:27:38,823 --> 01:27:43,048 Therapist!? There! We get out some news. Did you all know, J.J. is now officially mad. 862 01:27:43,290 --> 01:27:48,701 - Ah, Jess, you see a therapist, too. - Yeah, of course, but all the best people are mad, in my opinion. 863 01:27:48,784 --> 01:27:56,856 My therapist told me a story, a true story, about this guy who survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. 864 01:27:56,868 --> 01:27:58,472 It's an anecdote, it's not certain news. 865 01:27:58,507 --> 01:28:06,927 The moment he jumped he realized that the only thing in his life he couldn't fix was the thing he'd just done. 866 01:28:07,709 --> 01:28:13,061 I mean, can you imagine those... those five seconds as he fell? The agony of that? 867 01:28:13,175 --> 01:28:19,922 Well, to me, it feels like I fell... with... without falling. 868 01:28:20,685 --> 01:28:29,185 Because of you guys, I had my five seconds up on that roof and... not in the air. 869 01:28:31,450 --> 01:28:33,012 Five seconds... 870 01:28:34,176 --> 01:28:39,566 Well, it means we gave each other five seconds. I like that, J.J. 871 01:28:39,601 --> 01:28:42,241 And then five seconds turned into a year. 872 01:28:42,920 --> 01:28:45,864 Into a life... sentence. 873 01:28:46,129 --> 01:28:49,440 You people make me want to kill myself. 874 01:28:50,921 --> 01:28:54,001 - Maureen, you coming? - No, no, I'm just talking to my friends. 875 01:28:54,085 --> 01:28:57,252 It's almost midnight and we're doing the Lambada. Come on... 876 01:28:57,336 --> 01:28:58,515 Maureen, where are you... 877 01:28:58,716 --> 01:29:01,295 - Maureen! - Happy New Year! 878 01:29:01,378 --> 01:29:07,268 Okay... okay, what just happened? Did Maureen just make us look like we're the square ones? 879 01:29:07,278 --> 01:29:11,002 Remember, you're the one who accused her of having too many cats. 880 01:29:11,421 --> 01:29:14,381 - Time to sign-off. - Happy New Year, Jess. 881 01:29:14,471 --> 01:29:15,737 Happy New Year, Martin. 882 01:29:18,839 --> 01:29:23,924 - Happy New Year, Jess. - Happy New Year, John Julius. 883 01:29:30,496 --> 01:29:38,059 We could go to a party, ya know, in case you were worried about being upstaged by Maureen. 884 01:29:38,191 --> 01:29:42,987 Well, that's just the problem then, isn't it? I don't really want to go to a party. 885 01:29:44,899 --> 01:29:47,259 I think you've broken me. 886 01:29:49,589 --> 01:29:52,090 - Don't... smile. - No? 887 01:29:52,203 --> 01:29:53,974 - I will kill you... - I know. 888 01:29:54,072 --> 01:29:55,725 if you smile. 889 01:30:05,224 --> 01:30:08,559 Come on, up to bed, Sleepyhead. 890 01:30:08,924 --> 01:30:11,052 There ya go. Good girl. 891 01:30:16,017 --> 01:30:18,654 Oh, yes, there ya go. 892 01:30:18,956 --> 01:30:22,829 - Is it midnight yet? - Yes. 893 01:30:23,673 --> 01:30:26,965 It is, you made it. 894 01:30:27,692 --> 01:30:32,447 Another new year. Here we go.