1 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Visit www.Fastbet99.club Trusted Trusted Online Gambling Agent 2 00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,382 [playing piano] 3 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,729 [voicing] 4 00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,775 [cellphone] 5 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,863 - Hello? - Lord Boltron 6 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,115 Adam Scott, my best friend. 7 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:35,994 Hey, I have two words for you, bro: Vegas, baby 8 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,538 Las Vegas. 9 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:41,375 Strippers, shots, Bubba Gump Shrimp Company. 10 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,210 Sorry, Adam, nothing can be done tonight. 11 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:46,338 OK, then... Reno, honey! 12 00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:49,800 Strippers are cheaper, cheaper shots, two Bubba Gumps. 13 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,218 Nothing will happen, chemosabe. 14 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:55,138 Okay, yeah, Bakersfield, honey? Santa Fe? Cincinnati? 15 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,891 - What happened, bro? - This is Valentine's Day. 16 00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,977 Man, what's wrong with you and Valentine's Day? 17 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,896 Why do you care so much about this stupid vacation? 18 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,773 "Why are you asking? 19 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,358 [playing music] 20 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:14,700 ♪ There is something very magical About the time of the year ♪ 21 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:19,621 ♪ Fun lights in window shops Special types of cheers ♪ 22 00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:23,959 ♪ Neighbors have a certain light So that everyone sees ♪ 23 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,628 ♪ Only ten months to Christmas ♪ 24 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:31,341 ♪ That is Valentine's Day Meaning to me ♪ 25 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,677 You are down there What are you singing? 26 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,097 - Christmas , of course! - Why? This is February! 27 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,682 - Ha ha ha! - Ah! 28 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:42,811 ♪ As winter slowly passes And Mr. Sun comes out ♪ 29 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:46,315 ♪ This is a great reminder For get our shopping ♪ 30 00:01:46,398 --> 00:01:50,277 ♪ People say that's the beginning But I have to disagree ♪ 31 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,237 ♪ Only ten months to Christmas ♪ 32 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:55,741 ♪ That's Valentine's Day Means to me ♪ 33 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,452 - Ho ho ho! - Santa! 34 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,120 Come here, you're a jelly bowl. 35 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:03,248 Nice to meet you, kid. Michael, I need your help 36 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,960 Something entered the elf this year, and they made too many toys. 37 00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,588 - So you want me to kill the elves. - [man] He has a gun! 38 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:15,385 What? No! There are too many toys, so we need more babies to give. 39 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,013 Seventy five thousand to be exact. 40 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,932 Well, what do you want me to do, issue another sexy single? 41 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,225 I'm afraid that might not be enough. 42 00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:25,604 I need you to make a special Valentine's Day, 43 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,064 a production becomes sexy 44 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,816 that people all over the world will be forced to make love. 45 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,445 And ten months from now, there will be 75,000 new babies, 46 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,989 and Christmas will be saved! 47 00:02:36,073 --> 00:02:37,449 You will finish, Kris. 48 00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:39,201 [slap] 49 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:43,372 ♪ So, I know what I have to do To make them copulate ♪ 50 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:47,417 ♪ Just like 2,000 years ago When Mary found her partner ♪ 51 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,669 ♪ February night is special ♪ 52 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:54,341 ♪ When they make lil & apos; J.C. ♪ 53 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:59,596 ♪ It's only ten months Until Christmas ♪ 54 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:03,016 ♪ That's Valentine's Day ♪ 55 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:10,023 ♪ Means to me ♪ 56 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:17,114 [woman] This belongs to Michael Bolton Big, Valentine's Day Special Section. 57 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,865 With special guests: 58 00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,867 Maya Rudolph, 59 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,661 Kenny G, 60 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,579 Misty & Blair, 61 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,373 Casey Wilson, 62 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:29,167 chocolatier Peter Salanz, 63 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,461 Michael Fulton, 64 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,964 Chef Roy's celebrity chef, 65 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,007 Baby Archer, 66 00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,927 virtual reality expert Dr. Vince Harbert 67 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,221 and Santa Claus. 68 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:45,726 And now this is your host, Michael Bolton 69 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:50,021 ♪ Cupid, pull back your bow ♪ 70 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:54,067 ♪ And let your arrow go ♪ 71 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:59,197 ♪ Jump to my lover's heart for me ♪ 72 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,616 ♪ Me ♪ 73 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,703 Hey, there. I'm Michael Bolton. 74 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:06,872 I have sold more than 75 million records 75 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,416 and topped the charts with nine number one singles. 76 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,625 But more importantly, 77 00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,503 I am an undeniable king Valentine's Day. 78 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:17,674 ♪ There's nothing else except me ♪ 79 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,985 [the audience cheers and claps] 80 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:23,513 Thank you. Now I show where the magic of tonight will happen 81 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:27,642 This is a small area of set that I like to call "love nest". 82 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,981 Ah yes. This is according to my wishes. 83 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:36,109 Designed clinically crazy Swedish architects 84 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,236 to encourage optimal love. 85 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,032 Comfortable satin slipper sofa seats up to four participants. 86 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,700 ♪ Curl up ♪ 87 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,076 A well-lit fire, 88 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,622 lights that will light up sweat on our body that stretches. 89 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,333 ♪ Oh, sweating, sweating me ♪ 90 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:52,751 Carcasses of dead animals, 91 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,295 as a reminder of the reality we are still alive 92 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,630 ♪ Hell huh ♪ 93 00:04:56,713 --> 00:05:00,175 Let's take it somewhere A touch is more personal, if you don't mind. 94 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:06,515 Ah, study room. I like art, especially nude items. 95 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:10,143 That makes me think... sex. 96 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:13,522 I did it at the age of nine. That still makes me excited. 97 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,045 I hope you feel comfortable here. 98 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:19,027 Remember: There is nothing forbidden in the Love Nest. 99 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:21,780 Except for that room. It's a human cave. 100 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,824 That's for me and the boy to get out. 101 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:27,077 There is a mini fridge and a kick-ass poster from Lamborghini. 102 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,122 This is so cool. But like I said, it's forbidden! 103 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:36,795 We will record how many babies are conceived tonight in our council. 104 00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:40,423 We need your help to meet our goals of 75,000 new babies 105 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,008 At the end of the event, 106 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,010 or Christmas will be destroyed 107 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,805 Our operator is standing to receive your call 108 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:48,974 Tell me about your love experience 109 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,767 or just ask them for tips. 110 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:54,062 If you want to have a baby that is guaranteed, Tell the man you are drinking. 111 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,939 I'm happy to hear you just made love. 112 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,023 [ding] 113 00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,693 You do it Congratulations! Yes! 114 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,195 [Michael Bolton] Meanwhile, all night long, our special guests 115 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,519 will lower the house 116 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:06,199 with a guaranteed performance to keep you in the mood 117 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:10,954 Oh, you are a polygamy? Oh... Can we rely on you for three people? 118 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,163 Ha ha! 119 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,957 We have three! 120 00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:18,545 And now, to kick everything, a beautiful song from a happy couple... 121 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,673 Legendary Duo Misty & Blair. 122 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,883 Thank you, Michael. 123 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:27,887 You know, Misty and I are very happy to be here to celebrate love 124 00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:30,682 and to celebrate _ our 20th wedding anniversary. 125 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,811 How do we do it? I think you lovers out there can prove... 126 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:38,315 Sometimes a little compromise is needed. 127 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,733 [playing music] 128 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:43,361 - ♪ I say it's red ♪ - ♪ I see blue ♪ 129 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,281 ♪ Call it purple That is what we will do ♪ 130 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:50,702 ♪ Guess that's what makes us Happy couple ♪ 131 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:55,206 - ♪ Fighting ♪ - ♪ We both think we're right ♪ 132 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:58,376 ♪ Let's say we're wrong And go out to bite ♪ 133 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:02,589 ♪ Guess that's what makes us Happy couple ♪ 134 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:08,762 - ♪ I like to choke ♪ - ♪ I like to throw up ♪ 135 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:12,182 ♪ The old missionary is just not our bag ♪ 136 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:16,394 ♪ Guess that's what makes us Happy couple ♪ 137 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:21,024 - ♪ I will shave your pubes ♪ - ♪ And I will shave your pubes ♪ 138 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,277 ♪ Lie in our pub And have a rough screw ♪ 139 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:28,365 ♪ Guess that's what makes us Happy couple ♪ 140 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:32,827 - ♪ I like Michael's hair ♪ - ♪ I like his ass ♪ 141 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:36,331 ♪ Take a big bite From the nice and sweet plum ♪ 142 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:40,543 ♪ Guess that's what makes us Happy couple ♪ 143 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,088 - Leave me from this - ♪ You are a Jew ♪ 144 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,006 ♪ You are Korean ♪ 145 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,259 ♪ Open your butt Because I want to see in ♪ 146 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:52,639 ♪ Guess that's what makes us Happy couple ♪ 147 00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,685 - ♪ I'll smoke a doob ♪ - ♪ And I'll take your breasts ♪ 148 00:07:56,768 --> 00:08:00,105 ♪ Then I will sniff like a dog Through your pubes pasture ♪ 149 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:03,858 ♪ Guess that's what makes us Happy couple ♪ 150 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,610 You have sang about pubes twice! 151 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,905 ♪ This is the locket Where I keep the pubes ♪ 152 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,323 ♪ And this pocket where... ♪ 153 00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,617 Hey! Hey! Stop it! You start so sweet, 154 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,953 and now you are really evil. 155 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,746 Excuse me? I beg to be different. 156 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,957 No, we're evil From the beginning. 157 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,418 Yes, it's "red or blue" is actually a debate 158 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,837 about our pubic color at the end of the night 159 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,506 And "small fight before going out to bite," 160 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,675 it's about whether to buy a bigger butt plug. 161 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,093 And I still think we need it. 162 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,804 Oh, you definitely like that, right? 163 00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:36,808 - Okay, get out of here - My lonely lonely 164 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,356 [Michael] Now let's check with our council. 165 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,402 Are you having trouble getting pregnant? Oh, I see. 166 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:51,614 You have trouble getting pregnant this telethon premise 167 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:56,786 I hope you have a sexy time curl up with someone special. 168 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,830 Continue, Give them a little kiss right now. 169 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:00,081 I will wait. 170 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:01,666 That's good. 171 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,836 Now what do you want to do take your finger and just put it... 172 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:07,338 [saxophone playing] 173 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:08,923 What is that sound? 174 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,925 [saxophone continues] 175 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,469 Not possible. 176 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,512 Bolton. 177 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,473 Kenny G. 178 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,391 Surprised to see me? 179 00:09:18,475 --> 00:09:19,642 [playing note] 180 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,038 Not as surprised as me To see you still hasn't cut your hair. 181 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,939 And I, in turn, I am surprised that you have. 182 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,943 Because in our key lies the strength of Simson 183 00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,238 You have been a brave warrior in the Long Locksmen, 184 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,074 that is something! 185 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,367 [playing note] 186 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,995 It's been a long time. I have left that life. 187 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,872 I am short hair now. 188 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:44,793 You and many others. Bread bread 189 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:45,877 [playing single note] 190 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,003 Billy Ray Cyrus 191 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,088 [playing single note] 192 00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,923 All four dudes in Metallica. 193 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,758 [playing four notes] 194 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,095 Yanni depends on the damn thread! 195 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,846 [playing three notes] 196 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,890 I'm doing toot for each dudes. 197 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,225 Yes, I understand. 198 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,810 You betray your true nature, 199 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:05,897 and for that, I will destroy you 200 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,690 Good. Let's do it. 201 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:11,528 Whoa! Cold! I mean by music, man. What's with you and weapons? 202 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,612 What gun 203 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,572 - [shot] - [cat yowls] 204 00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,950 I'm sorry. Can we stop? You just killed a cat 205 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,535 I don't think so. 206 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,453 No, you throw your gun, then we hear the bang, 207 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,705 - and then a cat screamed. - No, you are wrong. 208 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,041 I can see cat's blood all over the wall! 209 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,417 It was there before. 210 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:29,671 The walls are closed in the blood of cats before? 211 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,339 Can I help you with something, Kenny? 212 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:34,342 Prepare yourself for Duel King. 213 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:39,889 May all humans rejoice when we entertain them with the music of the gods. 214 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,182 [inhale in] 215 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:45,478 [playing "Duel Banjo"] 216 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:49,315 [voicing "Duel Banjo"] 217 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,861 [keep playing] 218 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,489 Not bad for horned men. 219 00:10:56,573 --> 00:11:00,702 [keep on voicing] 220 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,203 [grumble] 221 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,873 [keep playing] 222 00:11:04,956 --> 00:11:09,502 [keep on voicing] 223 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,212 [inhale in] 224 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:14,716 [both continue to play and voice] 225 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,280 Isn't that funny? 226 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:41,409 What starts as a duel ends in cold jam sesh. 227 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,619 They always do it. 228 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,120 I will take leave from you 229 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:47,749 But remember always the word from Prophecy Locksmen: 230 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:52,587 "Only in your darkest time will your key come out?" 231 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,797 Cool. Well, see you later, Kenny. 232 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:55,882 Good! 233 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,014 Bastard 234 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,390 [cheering and clapping] 235 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,818 If you are looking for the perfect gift for your true love, 236 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,863 not visible from Custom Chocolatiers. 237 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:22,951 I visited their workshop in Solvang to sneak. 238 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,287 [Peter Salanz] Custom Chocolatiers is a special place. 239 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,956 People like things that are personalized, 240 00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:30,875 tailored to their own specific tastes. We can do that. 241 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,044 We do that. 242 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,730 Why don't you tell me a little about your boyfriend, 243 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:38,257 and I will use that information design the perfect variety? 244 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:43,096 OK, let's see. She's a brave woman. He is very strong, very passionate. 245 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,807 He is perfected. He likes Better things in life. 246 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:46,891 Oh 247 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,811 But he is not afraid of having a little fun. He is worldly. 248 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:55,108 temporal? Does your woman like nougat? 249 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:56,734 Hmm. I'm not sure 250 00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:58,987 OK. 251 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,489 We have this candy. You have seen this before. 252 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,866 You can write anything you want. We make this custom-made. 253 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:07,078 You can do: "Hey, my dear, I like your style," 254 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,664 "Ooh, mama, you really Turn me over here," 255 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:13,084 "Yo, hit me online, I will write an email anytime, honey." 256 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:18,089 Every example I give is too large to be adjusted to in small candies like this, 257 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,733 so maybe just use what we already have. 258 00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,176 [man] I think sometimes he continues tough exterior, 259 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,471 but I know it inside He has a soft center. 260 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,766 - Does he like candy? - I don't think so 261 00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:33,062 She's sweet, but she's fine A dark, dry sense of humor. 262 00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,748 You have to give me something work with. 263 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:37,483 I see my kit. I have walnuts, coconut cream. 264 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,235 I have some cherries. 265 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,528 Well, he is very friendly. 266 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,490 You know, why don't we do this? Let's do 12 plains. 267 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,284 Oh well. 268 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:49,037 When you present this to , there are various ways to do it. 269 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:53,708 Good? You can do something like the 1920s, like, a kind of child, like... 270 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,044 [high-pitched crap] 271 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:58,129 You know, just makes it appear bigger than you. 272 00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,630 [high pitched] Here it is. 273 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,466 You can be a tough guy version. 274 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,593 Eat it There is chocolate there! 275 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,637 There is also magic, that is, like... 276 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,514 It's floating like this, 277 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,267 and in CGI, you can... This can all come out. 278 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,979 First, get this as silent, and then float. 279 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:18,357 So, you just sort of like, "Hey, baby, happy valentine's day." 280 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:22,862 - Good. - Other services we have here are, 281 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,156 if you have a box of chocolates from another place 282 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,360 and it's all mixed up, You don't know what's inside, 283 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,452 we have an ultrasound machine. 284 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,662 So, take it, 285 00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:35,666 and I will be able to identify it for you. 286 00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,710 And this one... 287 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:40,463 plain. 288 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,840 OK, that's all. 289 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,551 I want to offer free chocolate water 290 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,845 - Oh. - And we are all ready here 291 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,390 So, it's 12 plains. 292 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,810 - Oh, it all melts. - Oh. 293 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,521 [Peter] Many people are unconscious this is this customization 294 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,981 makes it much more difficult in the manufacturer. 295 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,025 So, even though are Custom Chocolatiers, 296 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:04,529 we strongly recommend that you choose from our standard choice 297 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,447 That makes it much better for both of us 298 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,247 Why did I go all the way to Solvang? 299 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,916 They never even cut me once during the whole video. 300 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,584 [cheering and clapping] 301 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,131 Isn't this night fantastic? 302 00:15:02,014 --> 00:15:26,342 It seems like a lot of you are making babies out there, which is great 303 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,927 But don't stop now. 304 00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:30,388 - You know, I just thought how... - Hey, Bolton! 305 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,057 This show is fucking, man! 306 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,315 - So, you don't like my show huh? - Yeah. This sucks! 307 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,985 - I think you think it's a trick. - no duh! 308 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,906 Well, I think I have something a little more in your alley 309 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,074 Hit it! 310 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,368 [playing rock music] 311 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:55,705 ♪ Just take that old note From the shelf ♪ 312 00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:03,713 ♪ Today's music isn't there Same soul ♪ 313 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,258 ♪ I like rock and roll for a long time ♪ 314 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,970 ♪ Don't try and take me to a disco ♪ 315 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,807 ♪ You will never even take me out On the floor ♪ 316 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:19,228 ♪ In ten minutes I will be late for the door ♪ 317 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,191 ♪ I like rock and roll for a long time ♪ 318 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:27,361 ♪ It's still like that for a long time Rock and roll ♪ 319 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,363 ♪ Such music Just calm the soul ♪ 320 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:30,781 He won't even drink it! 321 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:34,452 ♪ I remember the past ♪ 322 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:38,498 ♪ With rock and roll for a long time ♪ 323 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,875 [voicing] 324 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,085 [electric guitar solo] 325 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,882 [playing saxophone solo] 326 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,972 - No, you have to hit that round, Michael. - I try. 327 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,725 You don't try hard enough. Do it again from above. 328 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,101 Five, six, seven, eight... 329 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,853 [classical music] 330 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,523 You have to hit it! Don't mess with me! 331 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:07,193 You get this spin like your life depends on it! 332 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,486 Five, six, seven, eight... 333 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,405 No. You lean, then you point. 334 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,742 - point, then lean? - No! Lean, then navigate. 335 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,744 Think of the kids there 336 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,330 and scare them real rock and roll! 337 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:22,625 Don't touch the piano! What are you, fucking crazy ?! 338 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,628 You tease it. You teased that. You don't press the button. 339 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:29,632 Makes punk people afraid of you! Give it to me! Give it to me! 340 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,885 And when they come for you... And believe me, they will come for you... 341 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:38,849 This show will be the only to prove that Michael Bolton is cool! 342 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:41,894 How do you really know punk will appear? 343 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:45,064 Oh, they will appear. They always appear. 344 00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:49,902 Lift the milkshake, take two steps, put the milkshake Don't drink it. 345 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:53,155 Stop! You only have four weeks, people! 346 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,574 [seat clamp] 347 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,910 And then we step and we see There is a second guitar photo. 348 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,746 - Why? - To make love to their heads 349 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:06,002 After a lot of consideration, I have decided that is a dancing music note 350 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,837 will be played by... 351 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,256 Alan. 352 00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:13,050 Oh! 353 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,427 [cheering and clapping] 354 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,151 There seems to be like a small chance punks break in 355 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,142 You have one more time, one again goes on this. 356 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,144 Five, six, seven, eight... 357 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:27,440 ♪ It's still like that for a long time Rock and roll ♪ 358 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:31,068 ♪ Such music It only calms my soul ♪ 359 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:35,448 ♪ I remember the past ♪ 360 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:39,285 ♪ With rock and roll for a long time ♪ 361 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,539 [voicing] 362 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:44,624 [song ends] 363 00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,792 So what do you punk say now? 364 00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:50,504 That... is... badass! 365 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:51,922 That's what I thought. 366 00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:53,799 [resume song] 367 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:57,011 [playing saxophone solo] 368 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,725 [song ends, applause] 369 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:10,733 Oh, Romeo, my dear, I like your style. 370 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,487 And now, here to tell us about the future of romance, 371 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,282 virtual reality expert Dr. Vince Harbert. 372 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,450 Thank you, Michael. 373 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:23,454 Yes, my team and I design virtual erotic simulations, 374 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,289 and I bring one for you to try now. 375 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,416 - My jack entered, Doc. - OK. 376 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,834 Come on to you 377 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:31,921 OK. 378 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,047 [beep and whirring] 379 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,965 [Michael] Wow. This is amazing. 380 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,218 [Vince Harbert] And that will improve. Watching. 381 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,056 [Michael] Oh, mama. What are we here 382 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,643 - Hello - I've been waiting for you. 383 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:48,062 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 384 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,023 - What are you waiting for? - Don't forget your pill. 385 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,984 - My pill - He means your Cialis. 386 00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:56,153 I have to take Cialis in virtual reality? 387 00:19:56,237 --> 00:20:00,366 Yes. We find it useful to add some real world constraints into VR. 388 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,786 That makes the simulation more in-depth and, well, sexy. 389 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,706 Good. Hmm. Where are they? 390 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:08,999 Maybe I'll try this drawer. 391 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,460 Let's find the pill. 392 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,964 Fast, baby I really want you 393 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,800 [Michael] I'm in a hurry. Come on. 394 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,057 OK, that's it. 395 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,271 - What? Blank? - You need to refill at the pharmacy. 396 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:33,274 - I have to refill the recipe? - Yep. And... 397 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,358 [beep and whirring] 398 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:39,071 - [Vince] Here it is - Okay, this looks pretty normal. Oh wow. 399 00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:40,948 Why, hello, Mr. Bolton. 400 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,243 - Well, this is an interesting turn. - of course 401 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,745 I will get your recipe 402 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:51,791 Good. 403 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,129 Thank you very much. 404 00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,089 - What? - $ 22.50 405 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,759 Well, now you have to pay. Remove your wallet 406 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:01,552 and swipe your debit card. 407 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,181 [Michael] Are you kidding me? Rejected? 408 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,766 Give me a break 409 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,643 - Well, maybe try a different card. - I only have one. 410 00:21:09,727 --> 00:21:11,687 Okay, why not just pay? 411 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,733 [Vince] Great! You have your Cialis. 412 00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,897 Let's go to the parking lot. Enter your car 413 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,321 Start the engine. Go back slowly. 414 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:23,032 - Oops! You spilled coffee on you! - Oh, my God! 415 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:26,160 Pull out of the parking lot, and we will be on the freeway. 416 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:28,662 And now you are at home. 417 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,208 [Michael] Finally. Let's start this party. 418 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:36,170 I miss you. Come here and give it to me, big boy. 419 00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:39,548 Your wish is an order for me. 420 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:41,217 [groans] 421 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,803 Hey! The hand of my wife, you bastard! 422 00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:46,263 [Michael] What... ow! Ow! 423 00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,850 What are you doing? 424 00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:52,770 I'm sorry, Michael, but that's my wife that I put in the simulation, 425 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,480 and I will not only sit here 426 00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,899 and let myself be criticized by people like you! 427 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,108 [snoring] 428 00:21:58,859 --> 00:21:59,860 Get him! 429 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,278 Ow! 430 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:03,280 Oh! Yes! 431 00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:04,490 Ow! 432 00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:08,911 Oh dear, it's so hot to see you beat Michael Bolton 433 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,292 OK. 434 00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:17,127 [groaning] 435 00:22:17,211 --> 00:22:18,212 Yes. 436 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,297 I will just leave you for that. 437 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,216 [groaning continues] 438 00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:28,138 Yeah dear. Yeah dear! 439 00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:29,348 [groans] 440 00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:31,100 [cheering and clapping] 441 00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:35,396 Have you tried to say something to each other? It's not stale and ordinary? 442 00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,982 You know, Maybe thinking outside the bun. 443 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,817 No, I made the payment last week. 444 00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:42,403 No, I gave... how did you find me? 445 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,321 Women and men... 446 00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:49,410 Music is the language of love, huh, 447 00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:51,829 and sometimes the right song is everything you need 448 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:54,456 to make you dance and make love. 449 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:59,920 ♪ That night is boring There is no love on the floor ♪ 450 00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:04,425 ♪ Even liquor can't do the trick You need to give the song a kick ♪ 451 00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:08,304 ♪ And so ♪ 452 00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:09,430 [key changes] 453 00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:12,683 ♪ You definitely want to do it Key changes, baby ♪ 454 00:23:12,766 --> 00:23:17,062 ♪ Damn it starts to steam now Because of key changes, baby ♪ 455 00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:22,234 ♪ Mother of beige lice Because of key changes, baby ♪ 456 00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:24,445 But why stop there? Yes. 457 00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:25,529 [key changes] 458 00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:28,574 ♪ Let's give it a key change, baby ♪ 459 00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:32,995 ♪ It's so hot now I'll pop With the lock button, baby ♪ 460 00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:37,625 ♪ Skeet, skeet, skeet, Scooby-Dooby-Doo With the lock button, baby ♪ 461 00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:42,212 ♪ If your house is robbed, you're really It's better to change the key, honey ♪ 462 00:23:42,296 --> 00:23:46,759 ♪ When Michael Jordan wears new shoes That is a change of Nike, honey ♪ 463 00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:51,221 ♪ Going from green to chamomile That is a change of tea, baby ♪ 464 00:23:51,305 --> 00:23:53,932 ♪ I say "tea," not "key" I trick you, sucker ♪ 465 00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:57,937 ♪ Change of key, baby ♪ 466 00:23:58,437 --> 00:23:59,521 ♪ Change of key, baby ♪ 467 00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:00,606 [key changes higher] 468 00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,816 ♪ Change of key, baby ♪ 469 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:06,236 ♪ Change key, change key, change button ♪ 470 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,823 ♪ Key changes, key changes, button changes ♪ 471 00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:12,409 ♪ Change key, change button ♪ 472 00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:14,662 [holding a high note] 473 00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,749 ♪ Change of key, baby ♪ 474 00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:20,918 ♪ You can also go to the lower button ♪ 475 00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:23,921 ♪ This is a key change, baby ♪ 476 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:28,759 ♪ And that's the story From key changes, baby ♪ 477 00:24:28,842 --> 00:24:32,179 [voiced in the down button] 478 00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,225 [voicing at register is very low] 479 00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:41,146 [cheering and clapping] 480 00:24:42,356 --> 00:24:45,150 [Michael] ♪ Don't get caught in fire ♪ 481 00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:48,862 I, for one, have fulfilled my appetite. 482 00:24:48,946 --> 00:24:52,032 Please welcome celebrity chef Chef Roy. 483 00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:55,160 - What do you get for us? - Well, Mike, I'll give you a guide, 484 00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:56,704 and it's rhyming with "roast". 485 00:24:56,787 --> 00:24:59,373 I'm talking cake. 486 00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:03,544 I have a new line from Chef Roy's Bakery Delights available at your local grocery store, 487 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:04,962 including this limited edition Pink Valentine's Day champagne cake 488 00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:11,093 Well, we have some lucky volunteers to help us give this feeling. 489 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:14,763 Come on out, guys. Dianne, Ben, Susan, Darryl. 490 00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:18,434 Let's dig, gang. 491 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:19,727 - go in there - OK. 492 00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:22,229 Wow, Roy, You really lost yourself. 493 00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:24,648 Mmm. That is good. 494 00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:25,983 Ah, look at Susan. He left, "Mm, can every day be Valentine's Day?" 495 00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:32,156 [laughs] 496 00:25:32,239 --> 00:25:34,366 - I like that Me. - And look at Ben. 497 00:25:34,450 --> 00:25:36,535 Ben goes, "Cake? Eh, yes, I don't mind if I do it." 498 00:25:36,618 --> 00:25:40,831 I've been nailed 499 00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:42,291 Oh! Look at Dianne. He's like, like, "I think today is cheating." 500 00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:47,588 501 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:49,757 Good 502 00:25:50,507 --> 00:25:55,929 Oh look Darryl. He left, "Cakes? I thought I just found nuts in my pants!" 503 00:25:56,013 --> 00:25:57,014 [laughs] 504 00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:58,515 Yes. 505 00:25:58,599 --> 00:25:59,892 What? 506 00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,644 Even Michael left, "Hey, if there's a cake, 507 00:26:02,728 --> 00:26:04,646 I will make more vacations." 508 00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:05,898 That's right. 509 00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:08,609 Dianne. Look at the woman. Look at Dianne. 510 00:26:08,692 --> 00:26:11,320 He leaves, "Well, I don't think I'm on a diet today." 511 00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,280 I think so. 512 00:26:13,363 --> 00:26:17,826 Look at Darryl. He left, "And I just shot a lot in my pants. 513 00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:18,952 No kidding." 514 00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:21,205 No, I'm not like that. 515 00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:25,501 Ben! Ben, "Me Tarzan, you cake." 516 00:26:25,584 --> 00:26:26,960 [laughs] 517 00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:28,897 Look at Darryl. He left, "Good cakes and everything, 518 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:31,006 but I prefer to push them up!" 519 00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:33,258 Darryl, please, that's not right. 520 00:26:33,342 --> 00:26:36,011 - I'm not saying that - You're thinking about it 521 00:26:36,094 --> 00:26:38,764 Susan left, "Okay, that's weird!" 522 00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:42,726 Michael goes, "Hey, I didn't go in for this!" 523 00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:43,852 I really don't. 524 00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:46,855 And look at Darryl. He goes, "Good cakes and everything, 525 00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:48,899 but I prefer to eat butt Dianne!" 526 00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:51,276 - Darryl! - What, man? 527 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,736 Everyone please. 528 00:26:52,820 --> 00:26:55,465 Sorry we only have cakes, Darryl, and you can't just eat my ass. 529 00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:57,574 Darryl, what should you say? for yourself? 530 00:26:57,658 --> 00:26:59,076 I will tell you what to say... 531 00:27:00,118 --> 00:27:01,954 Everything is right, okay? 532 00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:07,376 Yes, I think that's all! Chef Roy, he gets every dirty detail: 533 00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:10,462 Busting in my pants, hope I'm jacking it, 534 00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:12,714 want to eat Susan's ass! 535 00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:15,509 Wait, he says you want to eat Dianne's butt, not Susan's. 536 00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:18,887 Newsflash: These are both, baby 537 00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,180 [shouts] 538 00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:21,390 A piece of dirt! 539 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:24,852 Ohh! Damn like that! 540 00:27:24,935 --> 00:27:29,439 Well, I want to thank Chef Roy for sharing _ the delicious pink champagne cake with us. 541 00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:34,069 Happy Valentine's Day from me... Chef Chef is a celebrity chef. 542 00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:35,487 [cheering and clapping] 543 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:39,575 [Michael] ♪ Oh, honey ♪ 544 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:43,120 Well, the number of making the baby comes well, 545 00:27:43,203 --> 00:27:46,498 but we need 75,000, So go ahead, everyone. 546 00:27:46,582 --> 00:27:48,375 Do you want to disappoint Santa? 547 00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:53,839 Well, then go there, find a woman and impregnate her. 548 00:27:54,756 --> 00:27:57,384 Okay, love yourself too. Okay bye. 549 00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:03,515 ♪ When night falls ♪ 550 00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:07,144 ♪ And the land is dark ♪ 551 00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:13,567 ♪ And the moon The only light we will see ♪ 552 00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:17,029 "by my side." What a song. 553 00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:20,324 Always makes me think important people in my life, 554 00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:22,367 that I can rely on. 555 00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:27,164 And nothing exemplifies that more than my own twin brother Michael Fulton. 556 00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:29,374 - Hey - Hey friend. 557 00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:33,378 Oh man. I am Michael's identical twin brother, 558 00:28:33,462 --> 00:28:35,464 and we are exactly the same in everything. 559 00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:36,924 Isn't that the truth? 560 00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:41,345 And about twin sisters do we always have each other... backs. 561 00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:42,471 In other words... 562 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:45,891 [singing badly] ♪ No, I won't be afraid ♪ 563 00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:50,229 ♪ Oh, I won't be afraid ♪ 564 00:28:50,312 --> 00:28:52,356 ♪ Se long ♪ 565 00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,066 ♪ When you stand ♪ 566 00:28:54,149 --> 00:28:57,361 ♪ Stand by my side ♪ 567 00:28:57,444 --> 00:28:58,445 ♪ Hey ♪ 568 00:28:58,528 --> 00:29:00,864 - good job, bro. - Thank you, Michael. 569 00:29:00,948 --> 00:29:03,158 As you might notice, I'm not the best singer. 570 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:04,910 That sometimes happens to the twins. 571 00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:08,205 Certain talents meet a brother, and other talents go to other brothers. 572 00:29:08,288 --> 00:29:11,833 And I think you could say Michael got his voice. 573 00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:15,170 He is also seen. He also has physical. 574 00:29:15,254 --> 00:29:17,256 And he also got charisma. 575 00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:19,466 He also gets a normal amount of from the testis 576 00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:21,134 Two, three, four... 577 00:29:21,218 --> 00:29:23,011 ♪ So, honey, honey ♪ 578 00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:26,390 ♪ Stand by my side ♪ 579 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:30,394 ♪ Oh, stand me ♪ 580 00:29:30,477 --> 00:29:33,105 ♪ Oh, stand up, now ♪ 581 00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:36,316 ♪ Stand by my side ♪ 582 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,944 - Uh, Mike? - Yeah, bro. 583 00:29:39,736 --> 00:29:42,906 Uh... what have I done for me? 584 00:29:44,324 --> 00:29:47,911 I mean, I just squeezed my brain, and it just keeps coming empty. 585 00:29:47,995 --> 00:29:49,955 I mean, am I just bad luck? 586 00:29:50,038 --> 00:29:53,917 Of course not. You... You're a great driver 587 00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:56,295 Oh my God, you're right. I am a good driver. 588 00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:59,131 I forgot. I don't, like, professional or whatever 589 00:29:59,214 --> 00:30:03,051 I'm not a race car driver, but I'm pretty good When I'm driving my Scion. 590 00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:05,262 Of course. You always keep your hands on the wheel. 591 00:30:05,345 --> 00:30:08,890 I know. Ten and two, just like our parents teach us. 592 00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:10,434 Yes, rest in peace, both. 593 00:30:11,310 --> 00:30:12,519 Two, three, four... 594 00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:15,105 ♪ So, honey, honey ♪ 595 00:30:15,188 --> 00:30:17,691 ♪ Stand by my side ♪ 596 00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:22,362 - ♪ Oh, stand me ♪ - ♪ Oh, stand right next to me, hey ♪ 597 00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:25,240 - ♪ Oh, stand up, now ♪ - ♪ Oh, stand up, oh ♪ 598 00:30:25,324 --> 00:30:28,201 - ♪ Stand up for my bisexual ♪ - ♪ Stand by my side ♪ 599 00:30:28,285 --> 00:30:30,537 I want to stay afloat and sing a few more songs, 600 00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:32,724 But I have to go to the doctor about my sore throat. 601 00:30:32,748 --> 00:30:35,250 It takes a long time to find a man which I really like. 602 00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:37,586 The rest are all foreigners and, like... 603 00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:40,672 - Okay, go away. - Can I borrow money for a taxi? 604 00:30:40,756 --> 00:30:43,884 I destroyed my Scion. Yes. Drunk driving. 605 00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:45,177 - Here it is. - Thank you. 606 00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:47,054 ♪ See you later, yeah ♪ 607 00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:49,264 My twin brother, everyone 608 00:30:49,348 --> 00:30:50,432 [cheering and clapping] 609 00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:54,895 - [Michael] ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ - [bird squealing] 610 00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:58,899 Our next guest feels at home in the most elegant place to meet a woman: 611 00:30:58,982 --> 00:31:00,484 a dance club. 612 00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:03,362 Ladies and gentlemen, Baby Archer. 613 00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:06,406 Ah! Thank you, MB. 614 00:31:06,490 --> 00:31:09,451 Dancing is a great way to meet people, Am I right? 615 00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:13,580 But so often, I hear: "Baby Archer, I'm too stupid to dance." 616 00:31:13,663 --> 00:31:15,707 You stupid bastard, anyone can dance, 617 00:31:15,791 --> 00:31:16,911 even if you are stupid like crap! 618 00:31:16,958 --> 00:31:20,420 [Auto-Tuned] ♪ Hey, all of you, I have a new dance ♪ 619 00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:24,049 ♪ This is called Shufle Kupid Just give it a chance ♪ 620 00:31:24,132 --> 00:31:27,511 ♪ Steps, steps, front, front Steps, steps, back, back ♪ 621 00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:32,557 ♪ That's the first part From Kupid Shufle, Jack ♪ 622 00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:34,702 You know, many people say already has Cupid Shuffle. 623 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:37,479 But guess what? I wrote this song in international waters. 624 00:31:37,562 --> 00:31:39,898 I jump into the damn boat 625 00:31:39,981 --> 00:31:43,235 and avoid IRS like me L. Ron Hubbard, okay? 626 00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,029 and five, six, seven, eight... 627 00:31:46,113 --> 00:31:49,616 ♪ All right, you all, we're almost there ♪ 628 00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:52,536 ♪ Closing part two Do it if you dare ♪ 629 00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:56,373 ♪ Left, left, left, left Left, left, left, left ♪ 630 00:31:56,456 --> 00:31:59,751 ♪ Left, left, left, left Left, left, left, left ♪ 631 00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:03,130 ♪ Left, left, left, left Left, left, left, left ♪ 632 00:32:03,213 --> 00:32:06,633 ♪ Left, left, left, left Left, left, left, left ♪ 633 00:32:06,716 --> 00:32:10,011 ♪ Left, left, left, left Left, left, left, left ♪ 634 00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:14,141 ♪ Left, left, left, left Left, left, left, left, left, left... ♪ 635 00:32:14,224 --> 00:32:15,308 Is he okay 636 00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:17,769 ♪ Left, left, left, left Left, left ♪ 637 00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:20,730 ♪ Left, left, left, left Left, left, left, left ♪ 638 00:32:20,814 --> 00:32:21,982 ♪ And hold it ♪ 639 00:32:22,065 --> 00:32:23,525 [music continues] 640 00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:37,956 ♪ And that's the second part From the Shufle Kupid, man ♪ 641 00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:40,500 Whoever ordered this person was fired. 642 00:32:40,584 --> 00:32:42,335 Bolton, get up here Try it with me! 643 00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:48,967 Get your beautiful black ass here. 644 00:32:49,050 --> 00:32:51,178 You are handsome silver fox 645 00:32:51,261 --> 00:32:54,306 Mmm! You are like a heterosexual Anderson Anderson. 646 00:32:54,389 --> 00:32:58,518 Oh my God. Now I show Cool dance you can do. 647 00:32:58,602 --> 00:33:01,855 ♪ Feel your ball slap back and forth Michael Bolton ♪ 648 00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:05,233 ♪ Feel your ball slap back and forth Michael Bolton ♪ 649 00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:08,653 ♪ Feel your ball slap back and forth Michael Bolton ♪ 650 00:33:08,737 --> 00:33:11,990 ♪ I smell your pheromone Get out of the pee-pee hole ♪ 651 00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:16,453 ♪ I know you're happy Let's make a lot of people light up ♪ 652 00:33:16,536 --> 00:33:18,371 [Auto-Tuned vocalizing] 653 00:33:19,873 --> 00:33:24,002 None of them are Shufle Coupons. Lower my stage! Now! Leave! 654 00:33:26,630 --> 00:33:28,798 Thank you, Michael. I want to thank everyone in Hollywood. 655 00:33:28,882 --> 00:33:31,718 I want to thank the show business in general. That's just big 656 00:33:31,801 --> 00:33:33,970 I love you. Deep sleep. Happy Valentine. 657 00:33:34,054 --> 00:33:35,805 [making fart sounds] 658 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:41,061 Blowing in his ear. That is good 659 00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:43,021 Oh, I like it too. 660 00:33:43,104 --> 00:33:45,357 No, I'm sorry, Mom, but for our purposes, 661 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,692 it really doesn't count If you do it in the ass. 662 00:33:48,610 --> 00:33:51,738 I believe in two things: one, ghost. 663 00:33:51,821 --> 00:33:55,325 And two, there is someone out there for everyone. 664 00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:57,702 For me, this is my Carmela. 665 00:33:57,786 --> 00:33:58,912 [bird squealing] 666 00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:00,372 [whisper] Carmela 667 00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:02,415 I will never forget how we met, queuing 668 00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:05,502 for Pirates of the Caribbean attractions at Disneyland. 669 00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:07,879 What started as a swashbuckling sipping ride 670 00:34:07,963 --> 00:34:11,424 designed to make even the most tired sensation seekers say, "Ahoy," 671 00:34:11,508 --> 00:34:14,010 becomes the starting point of our love. 672 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,638 And not just the body that I like. 673 00:34:16,721 --> 00:34:20,058 I will be very interested in him Even if he is just a thought, 674 00:34:20,141 --> 00:34:22,852 thoughts that don't have weapons or legs or skin 675 00:34:22,936 --> 00:34:27,524 and somehow floating in the jar and communicating with me telepathically. 676 00:34:27,607 --> 00:34:32,445 These are all good ways to say it I will ask Carmela to marry me. 677 00:34:32,529 --> 00:34:36,283 Love in my life will soon arrive my beloved wife. 678 00:34:36,366 --> 00:34:38,910 ♪ Wedding ♪ 679 00:34:39,911 --> 00:34:42,038 [cheering and clapping] 680 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,544 [voicing] 681 00:34:52,841 --> 00:34:58,680 ♪ This is the story Captain Jack Sparrow ♪ 682 00:34:58,763 --> 00:35:04,728 ♪ Pirates are very brave On seven seas ♪ 683 00:35:04,811 --> 00:35:10,609 ♪ A mystical quest To the Isle of Tortuga ♪ 684 00:35:10,692 --> 00:35:16,698 ♪ Lock the crow swaying Over the sea breeze ♪ 685 00:35:18,491 --> 00:35:20,785 [voicing] 686 00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:28,335 ♪ Since the day of his birth He missed the adventure ♪ 687 00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:34,466 ♪ Old Jack Captain Give them what they want ♪ 688 00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:40,472 ♪ She's a poor wave Jester from Tortuga ♪ 689 00:35:40,555 --> 00:35:46,436 ♪ But is Davy Jones' Locker What's in the shop? ♪ 690 00:35:47,062 --> 00:35:52,651 ♪ This is the story From Disney robbers ♪ 691 00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:58,698 ♪ True pirate master King of crustaceans ♪ 692 00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:04,704 ♪ Dismissed as a fool And then praised as a hero ♪ 693 00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:10,794 ♪ Sir Captain Jack Stay within you and me ♪ 694 00:36:11,544 --> 00:36:13,963 ♪ Literally ♪ 695 00:36:18,134 --> 00:36:19,636 [cheering and clapping] 696 00:36:27,727 --> 00:36:29,938 [Michael] Okay, let's look at our board. 697 00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:32,941 Wow! We only reached 50,000. 698 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:35,235 We really need 75,000. 699 00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:38,405 We are so close. We have to keep going. If you need a tip... 700 00:36:38,488 --> 00:36:41,366 Hello? Mattress Wally Yes, I'm sorry about that. 701 00:36:41,449 --> 00:36:43,910 - [telephone ring] - Wait a minute. Hello? Mattress Wally 702 00:36:43,993 --> 00:36:47,038 Do you want to return your mattress? Because of a lifetime guarantee? 703 00:36:47,122 --> 00:36:48,456 [telephone rings] 704 00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:50,542 You damage it when making love? 705 00:36:50,625 --> 00:36:52,877 Wait, wait a minute. Hello? 706 00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:55,380 Of course you will get a refund. This is a lifetime guarantee. 707 00:36:55,463 --> 00:36:57,507 Wait for one second. Sorry, Sir. Mattress Wally 708 00:36:57,590 --> 00:37:00,385 You stab a hole in it? How is that possible? 709 00:37:00,468 --> 00:37:02,762 Wait a minute. Sorry. Mattress Wally 710 00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:04,240 Ma'am, I'm sorry I just want to know, 711 00:37:04,264 --> 00:37:07,517 how does everyone break their mattress have sex? 712 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,602 That doesn't make sense. 713 00:37:09,686 --> 00:37:11,771 I encourage you all to bring your lover to bed 714 00:37:11,855 --> 00:37:14,190 and pound the mattress until nothing is left 715 00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:17,402 Oh my God. He will destroy us. 716 00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:19,362 Pound the mattress. 717 00:37:19,446 --> 00:37:20,697 I have to stop it. 718 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:34,335 [Michael] Okay, let's go back to our show. 719 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:36,880 When it comes to singers with the first two names, 720 00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:39,507 You can't beat Ray Charles. 721 00:37:39,591 --> 00:37:41,885 I want to sing it my favorite song, 722 00:37:41,968 --> 00:37:45,138 and while doing so, you know who I will think about. 723 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:47,974 Carmela, this is for you, baby 724 00:37:49,017 --> 00:37:53,104 ♪ I have a woman in the city ♪ 725 00:37:53,188 --> 00:37:55,356 ♪ That's good for me ♪ 726 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,650 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 727 00:37:57,734 --> 00:38:02,572 ♪ Yes, I have a woman Walk to town ♪ 728 00:38:02,655 --> 00:38:04,616 ♪ He is nice to me ♪ 729 00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:06,910 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 730 00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:11,414 ♪ He gives me money When I need ♪ 731 00:38:11,498 --> 00:38:16,044 ♪ Oh, he's a good friend ♪ 732 00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:20,757 ♪ Yes, I have a woman Walk to town ♪ 733 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,468 ♪ He is nice to me ♪ 734 00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:24,677 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 735 00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:25,761 [beep cellphone] 736 00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:30,642 Now, talk about the angel. This is Carmela. 737 00:38:34,938 --> 00:38:38,066 But there is someone new in my life. 738 00:38:38,983 --> 00:38:41,569 This is a man, and he changes everything. 739 00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:47,075 Actually, he is inside me this is the second. 740 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:49,869 I hope you understand. 741 00:38:49,953 --> 00:38:51,246 Goodbye. " 742 00:38:53,832 --> 00:38:54,916 What? 743 00:38:57,210 --> 00:38:58,503 [echoing thud] 744 00:38:59,462 --> 00:39:00,463 What... 745 00:39:02,257 --> 00:39:03,800 What is this? 746 00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:06,511 Why does he tell me this? 747 00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:10,723 Is there someone in him now? 748 00:39:10,807 --> 00:39:13,059 No! 749 00:39:13,142 --> 00:39:15,353 [playing somber music] 750 00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:19,774 ♪ No ♪ 751 00:39:21,568 --> 00:39:23,027 [moans] 752 00:39:24,195 --> 00:39:25,780 I have to lock me up. 753 00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:29,158 Coming to the show right now is my good friend Casey Wilson. 754 00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:31,911 Hello, Michael. Nice to meet you. 755 00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:33,162 Welcome to the event. 756 00:39:33,246 --> 00:39:36,416 Well, this is Valentine's Day, my favorite day this year 757 00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:40,253 Did I get other days this year to read so many cards from admirers? 758 00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:41,697 Do you know what I'm saying, Michael? 759 00:39:42,672 --> 00:39:44,048 [playing somber music] 760 00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:51,431 Oh 761 00:39:52,348 --> 00:39:53,516 Good. 762 00:39:54,183 --> 00:39:57,687 Anyway, let's look at this one from Molly 763 00:39:57,770 --> 00:39:58,956 He said, "Happy Valentine..." 764 00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:01,316 ♪ I can hardly believe it ♪ 765 00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:05,486 - ♪ When I hear the news today ♪ - Michael? 766 00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:10,116 ♪ I have to come and do it right away From you ♪ 767 00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:11,743 Mike, do you want to read some cards? 768 00:40:11,826 --> 00:40:13,453 Mike? 769 00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:16,122 ♪ They say you go ♪ 770 00:40:16,205 --> 00:40:18,875 ♪ Someone sweeps your heart ♪ 771 00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:20,084 Everything is okay, buddy? 772 00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:23,087 - ♪ From the look of your face ♪ - Mikey dear 773 00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:26,424 - ♪ I see that right ♪ - Michael B.? 774 00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:29,844 ♪ So, tell me everything about that ♪ 775 00:40:29,928 --> 00:40:33,014 ♪ Tell me about the plan You made ♪ 776 00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:34,349 What's in the window? 777 00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:39,395 ♪ Oh, and tell me one more thing Before I leave ♪ 778 00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:40,521 Mikey! 779 00:40:42,357 --> 00:40:47,111 ♪ Tell me, how can I do it? To live without you ♪ 780 00:40:47,195 --> 00:40:49,572 He comes to me. I think I'll leave. 781 00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:56,996 ♪ Now I love you So long ♪ 782 00:40:58,498 --> 00:41:04,087 ♪ How can I live? Without you? ♪ 783 00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:10,176 ♪ And how can I continue ♪ 784 00:41:10,259 --> 00:41:12,971 - [neighboring horse] - [bird squealing] 785 00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:17,266 ♪ If I live all that ♪ 786 00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:20,061 ♪ Is it gone? ♪ 787 00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:26,275 [sobbing] 788 00:41:29,404 --> 00:41:31,823 I need more photos of horses! 789 00:41:33,116 --> 00:41:35,034 [sobbing] 790 00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:37,704 What will you do tomorrow? 791 00:41:38,997 --> 00:41:40,123 Uh... 792 00:41:40,206 --> 00:41:43,960 Well, I might go shopping for avocado trees 793 00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:46,045 - For trees? - Avocado tree. 794 00:41:46,129 --> 00:41:48,673 Why not just buy, like, five avocados? 795 00:41:48,756 --> 00:41:53,136 Well, because if you have a tree, I will have 10,000 avocados. 796 00:41:53,219 --> 00:41:55,739 If you have to estimate, How many avocados will you eat? 797 00:41:55,763 --> 00:41:58,516 - I don't go to school for math. - What did you go to school? 798 00:41:58,599 --> 00:41:59,726 Advertising. 799 00:41:59,809 --> 00:42:01,102 [playing dramatic music] 800 00:42:05,982 --> 00:42:07,942 [laugh, chat] 801 00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:15,992 Looks like I just found my way. 802 00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:18,953 - I have a forked tongue, like a snake. - Hey! 803 00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:21,789 [muffled shout] 804 00:42:21,873 --> 00:42:25,043 - Son of... - No! No! No! 805 00:42:30,423 --> 00:42:31,841 [laughs] 806 00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:33,051 Yes. 807 00:42:33,134 --> 00:42:35,053 Oh, I love you too. 808 00:42:35,136 --> 00:42:36,345 Love is a lie! 809 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:40,141 - [smack] - [gasps] 810 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:42,727 Pulling together. I know you're hurt. 811 00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:45,229 But those numbers have stopped cold, 812 00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:48,232 and the only way to raise them is for you to go there 813 00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:51,152 and sing the most romantic song of all time 814 00:42:53,488 --> 00:42:55,031 "Nessun dorma." 815 00:42:56,115 --> 00:43:01,079 "Nessun dorma," Puccini is the most powerful, beautiful aria about love. 816 00:43:01,162 --> 00:43:04,499 But it's too dangerous. Every time someone Do it on TV or in the cinema, 817 00:43:04,582 --> 00:43:06,042 someone is killed 818 00:43:06,125 --> 00:43:08,336 You know, like Mission: Impossible, Rogue Nation, 819 00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:10,379 - Number of all fears - They are just movies! 820 00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:13,966 This is real life. So do it! 821 00:43:15,051 --> 00:43:16,051 You are right! 822 00:43:16,928 --> 00:43:18,471 [cheering and clapping] 823 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:27,814 ♪ Nessun is dorma ♪ 824 00:43:28,523 --> 00:43:34,028 ♪ Nessun is dorma ♪ 825 00:43:37,073 --> 00:43:42,745 ♪ Pure Tu, o Principessa ♪ 826 00:43:42,829 --> 00:43:48,709 ♪ Old Nella Fredda Bait ♪ 827 00:43:48,793 --> 00:43:54,298 ♪ Guardi le stelle ♪ 828 00:43:54,382 --> 00:44:00,680 ♪ Che tremano d & apos; amore ♪ 829 00:44:01,514 --> 00:44:07,562 ♪ E in speranza ♪ 830 00:44:24,579 --> 00:44:30,042 ♪ Dilegua, o notte ♪ 831 00:44:30,126 --> 00:44:36,757 ♪ Tramontate, stelle ♪ 832 00:44:36,841 --> 00:44:38,217 [inhale and exhale deeply] ♪ Tramontate, stelle ♪ 833 00:44:38,301 --> 00:44:42,430 ♪ All & apos; alba vincerò ♪ 834 00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:49,270 ♪ Vincerò ♪ 835 00:44:53,065 --> 00:44:57,278 ♪ Vincerò ♪ 836 00:44:58,154 --> 00:45:02,992 837 00:45:03,075 --> 00:45:05,411 [music crescendoes] 838 00:45:13,252 --> 00:45:14,754 [aria ends] 839 00:45:17,256 --> 00:45:18,466 Santa! 840 00:45:18,549 --> 00:45:20,343 [men and women scream] 841 00:45:22,511 --> 00:45:23,638 [gasping] 842 00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:24,805 [snoring] 843 00:45:24,889 --> 00:45:26,724 Curse that damn song. 844 00:45:29,268 --> 00:45:31,062 Don't dare to die to me, Santa. 845 00:45:31,145 --> 00:45:34,565 Hey, Michael, you don't need to worry about me. I will be fine. 846 00:45:34,649 --> 00:45:37,026 Just catch one in an old jelly bowl. 847 00:45:37,109 --> 00:45:38,527 [laugh grunts] 848 00:45:38,611 --> 00:45:40,613 Michael, you... 849 00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:46,285 always my favorite child 850 00:45:47,245 --> 00:45:48,496 I am your child ?! 851 00:45:53,542 --> 00:45:55,544 What is happening?! 852 00:45:55,628 --> 00:45:57,546 [flatlines heart monitor] 853 00:45:57,630 --> 00:46:00,299 Michael, we have to do something! We are flat! 854 00:46:05,554 --> 00:46:07,598 Oh, Michael, we lost one. 855 00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:14,897 Only in the darkest hours will your key come out? 856 00:46:14,981 --> 00:46:16,148 [gasping] 857 00:46:16,941 --> 00:46:18,567 [Michael] I know what I have to do. 858 00:46:19,235 --> 00:46:20,361 Boltron... 859 00:46:20,444 --> 00:46:22,196 ♪ Grows ♪ 860 00:46:22,279 --> 00:46:23,280 [lightning] 861 00:46:23,364 --> 00:46:26,242 - [horn blowing] - [playing dramatic music] 862 00:46:41,799 --> 00:46:44,552 [roar] 863 00:46:46,762 --> 00:46:48,597 - [gasps] - Damn 864 00:46:48,681 --> 00:46:50,141 Peak & 90's Bolton. 865 00:46:50,224 --> 00:46:52,893 [whispering] Prophecy... it has happened. 866 00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:57,732 ♪ When a man loves a woman ♪ 867 00:46:57,815 --> 00:46:59,066 [cheering and clapping] 868 00:46:59,150 --> 00:47:03,446 ♪ He can't remember it Nothing else ♪ 869 00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:07,283 ♪ He will swap the world For good things he is found ♪ 870 00:47:07,366 --> 00:47:08,367 [telephone rings] 871 00:47:08,451 --> 00:47:09,452 Uh huh? 872 00:47:09,535 --> 00:47:10,578 Oh my God. 873 00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:14,749 ♪ If he is evil, he can't see it ♪ 874 00:47:14,832 --> 00:47:16,042 Listen to this. 875 00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:21,005 ♪ He can't be wrong ♪ 876 00:47:21,088 --> 00:47:26,343 ♪ Turn over his good friend If he drops it ♪ 877 00:47:27,553 --> 00:47:32,975 ♪ Yes, when a man loves a woman ♪ 878 00:47:33,976 --> 00:47:37,938 ♪ I know exactly how it feels ♪ 879 00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:42,234 ♪ Because, baby ♪ 880 00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:46,280 ♪ Ba... ♪ 881 00:47:46,363 --> 00:47:48,741 [holding notes] 882 00:47:48,824 --> 00:47:50,785 He did it! 883 00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:53,037 [roar, whistling wind] 884 00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,206 [man] very close I think we will succeed. 885 00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:05,007 [weak cough] 886 00:48:07,343 --> 00:48:08,344 [stop rumbling] 887 00:48:09,178 --> 00:48:10,971 Do we succeed? 888 00:48:11,055 --> 00:48:13,099 Michael, you do everything you can. 889 00:48:13,182 --> 00:48:15,226 We only run out of fertile women. 890 00:48:16,310 --> 00:48:17,645 [Whisper] forgive me, Michael. 891 00:48:20,564 --> 00:48:22,205 [woman] I think you forgot someone. 892 00:48:23,818 --> 00:48:27,822 Carmela. But what are you doing here? I thought you left me 893 00:48:27,905 --> 00:48:29,156 No! 894 00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:34,411 Why did I leave his father? from our new baby boy? 895 00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:37,289 What is meant by your text? 896 00:48:37,373 --> 00:48:40,126 There is a new man in your life and is he in you? 897 00:48:40,209 --> 00:48:44,296 Yes! I can't think of a better way for that phrase 898 00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:46,924 [Carmela] Mwah! 899 00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:48,968 [alarm sounds] 900 00:48:49,051 --> 00:48:51,470 Damn, Michael! We did it! 901 00:48:51,554 --> 00:48:53,681 [all cheering] 902 00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:55,975 Whatever this is, we save it! 903 00:48:56,559 --> 00:48:58,102 Incredible! 904 00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:02,898 I'm sorry. I don't mean to kill Santa Claus. 905 00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:05,484 I meant to kill you... Michael Bolton. 906 00:49:06,277 --> 00:49:07,695 [rumbling] 907 00:49:09,989 --> 00:49:10,990 [grumble] 908 00:49:11,073 --> 00:49:13,951 Ho ho... whoa! 909 00:49:14,034 --> 00:49:16,120 Of course. Santa clause! 910 00:49:16,203 --> 00:49:18,205 - What? - I don't understand all this 911 00:49:18,289 --> 00:49:20,708 Tim Allen. Disney. 1994. 912 00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:23,669 Wally kills Santa. Now he's Santa. 913 00:49:23,752 --> 00:49:26,297 Right. And, Michael, you've done it. 914 00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:27,923 You have saved Christmas 915 00:49:28,007 --> 00:49:29,967 I am very happy this happened. 916 00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:31,302 [all cheering] 917 00:49:31,385 --> 00:49:32,386 Rock on, Bolton. 918 00:49:32,469 --> 00:49:34,138 [laughs] 919 00:49:34,221 --> 00:49:38,392 All Lord Boltron hail, king valentine day 920 00:49:38,476 --> 00:49:40,603 [cheering and clapping] 921 00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:42,688 [laughs] 922 00:49:42,771 --> 00:49:43,981 You are free to go. 923 00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:01,457 [playing music] 924 00:52:44,036 --> 00:52:47,956 Oh, hello. You just caught me in my little black book. 925 00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,584 There are many names and memories in this matter. 926 00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:53,670 Yes. Carrie. 927 00:52:53,754 --> 00:52:56,215 Oh Rebecca. 928 00:52:56,298 --> 00:53:00,052 Amelie. You are very sweet and innocent. 929 00:53:00,135 --> 00:53:02,012 Putri Mononoke 930 00:53:02,679 --> 00:53:04,264 Unforgettable 931 00:53:04,973 --> 00:53:07,184 And of course, The French Connection. 932 00:53:07,267 --> 00:53:09,186 What is the car chasing? 933 00:53:09,269 --> 00:53:12,064 Yes, this is my little black book film. 934 00:53:12,147 --> 00:53:13,190 [blow the clown horn] 935 00:53:13,273 --> 00:53:16,151 Oh Boy! That voice can only mean one thing: 936 00:53:16,235 --> 00:53:18,070 The Dancing Cupids! 937 00:53:18,153 --> 00:53:19,446 [playing jazz music] 938 00:53:28,914 --> 00:53:30,582 So good. 939 00:53:36,505 --> 00:53:38,340 This is my favorite part. Look at this section. 940 00:53:44,179 --> 00:53:46,339 Actually I have to talk with executives about keeping them 941 00:53:46,390 --> 00:53:47,808 They think of cutting them. 942 00:53:48,475 --> 00:53:50,811 I said, "You cut them, you cut me, Because I left." 943 00:53:58,193 --> 00:53:59,653 [song ends] 944 00:53:59,736 --> 00:54:01,113 Submitted by: www.subtitlecinema.com