1 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:09,141 This is a really big day for me today. 2 00:00:09,143 --> 00:00:13,078 But I'm so strong, and I'm going to get through it. 3 00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:20,619 I'm gonna be honest, I'm going to be, 4 00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:23,455 I'm going to prevail because I'm, 5 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,226 I know that my honesty and I know that my truth 6 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,128 Will get me through this, 7 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:32,131 And that's the most important thing. 8 00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,800 I've had the most beautiful life, 9 00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:37,236 And I know that this is a big moment 10 00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:41,473 But, I'm gonna succeed, I'm gonna get through this. 11 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,776 I am, I know it. 12 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,482 The morning of, it was, I woke up 13 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:54,119 And I felt like I was preparing for a match, 14 00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:57,689 Like it was match day, it was game day. 15 00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,391 It's always really hard to be like, 16 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,361 I'm going to go out in front of the world 17 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,496 And say that I fucked up. 18 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:11,670 Hello everyone. 19 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:15,574 Thank you for being here on such short notice. 20 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:20,512 I wanted to let you know that a few days ago 21 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:23,148 I received a letter from the itf 22 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:27,386 That I had failed the drug test at the australian open. 23 00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:32,324 I did fail the test, and I take full responsibility for it. 24 00:01:54,747 --> 00:01:57,516 and maria sharapova 25 00:01:57,518 --> 00:02:00,886 Will shed tears into the red clay. 26 00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:03,555 The champion is maria sharapova. 27 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,290 - oh my god. 28 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:06,692 It's unreal, it's unreal. 29 00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:09,261 - maria sharapova. 30 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:21,273 My life is a very small part of the universe. 31 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,914 Sometimes the ocean's very still and very solid, 32 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,682 And it's like ice, 33 00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:35,154 And you only see its reflection, 34 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:39,892 And other times it's so turbulent and violent. 35 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,832 We go through our own stillness and our own shadows 36 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,635 And then we go through the waves, 37 00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:52,804 But they always rise and then they fall 38 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,640 And they rise and they fall, 39 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,909 And sometimes it's followed by stillness 40 00:02:56,911 --> 00:03:01,280 And then they come back up again and it's an evolution. 41 00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:12,191 I think the one thing about life lessons 42 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,327 Is we never really know when they're coming, 43 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,297 And we actually, I mean, in my life 44 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,898 I sometimes didn't even realize 45 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:25,437 Or I was going through a lesson until I overcame it. 46 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,575 Especially after 2016 and reflecting on that, 47 00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,977 And this is certainly a situation in my life 48 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:35,948 Where I did reevaluate and I did look back. 49 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:38,383 It just gave me a sense of, 50 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:42,354 I had an incredible career and I've had my fair share 51 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:46,291 Of small comebacks and injuries and surgery. 52 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:47,626 Oh, and that's me. 53 00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:48,460 See? 54 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,962 Hi. 55 00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:52,297 But yet, I've maintained a career since I was four years old 56 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:56,001 And I've had this gift of competing and playing tennis. 57 00:03:56,003 --> 00:04:00,405 And all of a sudden, it's just taken away from you. 58 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:07,946 I was just about getting ready to go out and train. 59 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:13,352 I looked at my email and I received an email from the itf. 60 00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:17,422 It was a subject line that caught my attention, 61 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,524 Where it had my name in the subject 62 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:23,395 And the emails that I usually receive from the itf 63 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:27,633 Were all very general, speaking about the latest news. 64 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:32,571 I opened it, and then it said something about a test, 65 00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:35,641 A drug test that I did in australia. 66 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:41,313 It mentioned a name of a supplement or a substance. 67 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,050 I did not know it at the time. 68 00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:49,454 I found myself on my ipad like 30 seconds later 69 00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:52,557 Looking up what meldonium was. 70 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:56,561 I had never heard of that word, never seen it before, 71 00:04:56,563 --> 00:05:00,465 And then a packaging came up which read mildronate 72 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,368 Which I had seen many years of my life 73 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,405 And I knew exactly what it was. 74 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,041 It's very important for you to understand 75 00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:13,478 That for 10 years, this medicine was not on wada's ban list 76 00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,082 And I had been legally taking the medicine 77 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,384 For the past 10 years. 78 00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:23,588 But on January 1st, the rules had changed 79 00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:28,393 And meldonium became a prohibited substance, 80 00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,962 Which I had not known. 81 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,364 now to that bombshell announcement 82 00:05:32,366 --> 00:05:34,066 Rocking the tennis world, maria sharapova. 83 00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:35,767 the highest paid female athlete 84 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,102 In the world for more than a decade. 85 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,971 off the court, a sponsor's dream. 86 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,540 The fashion icon and business woman 87 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,675 Making a whopping 30 million. 88 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,610 the five time grand slam champion. 89 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,979 - Admitting she failed... - she failed a drug test. 90 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,414 at this year's australian open. 91 00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:52,084 For as long as four years for a failed test. 92 00:05:52,086 --> 00:05:53,085 she could face anything 93 00:05:53,087 --> 00:05:54,553 Between two and four years. 94 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:55,821 she is labeled now a cheater. 95 00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,856 She's 28-years old, that would be career ending. 96 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,591 Well, the moment after the press conference, 97 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,927 I deleted all my social media off my phone, 98 00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,762 So that was step one. 99 00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:08,100 And I think it was, it was to protect myself, 100 00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:11,436 To protect my sanity in that moment, 101 00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:15,607 To protect myself against opinions, against judgment. 102 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,943 the cheaters are always gonna be a step ahead 103 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:21,446 you cannot say, oh, that escaped me. 104 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:22,714 This is her career. 105 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,915 there's no doubt in my mind 106 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,817 That sharapova was taking this substance 107 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:28,120 To help her in her performance. 108 00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:30,922 I don't think I've ever gone through my career 109 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:34,025 Questioning what other people thought of me. 110 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:38,163 It wasn't something that was very important to me, 111 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,565 And then something happens and you're like, 112 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,467 Well actually you're walking on the street 113 00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,770 And you're like, do they know, do they not know? 114 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,138 What do they think? 115 00:06:46,140 --> 00:06:48,039 And it would drown me. 116 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,409 It would literally just upset me 117 00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:52,477 And make me feel so small, 118 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:56,114 And for a woman that's 6'2" and feels confident 119 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:59,684 Most of the time about what I do in my life 120 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:03,622 And the profession I'm in, it felt really uncomfortable 121 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,624 To feel that small. 122 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:12,130 My mom, she just made me feel like no matter 123 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:16,101 If I was ever not going to hit a tennis ball that, 124 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,169 That's okay. 125 00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:22,040 She must've spent a few weeks sleeping next to me in bed 126 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,543 Just making sure that I knew that someone 127 00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,977 Was always with me. 128 00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:31,983 In a way, through this whole process 129 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:35,787 My dad's been incredible, incredible, and so calm. 130 00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:40,025 He's able to control a situation when shit hits the fan. 131 00:07:41,093 --> 00:07:44,830 He's able to take a step back and evaluate it 132 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,100 And reevaluate it, and be calm and collected and cool 133 00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:51,536 And make the right judgment, 134 00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:55,540 You know, making sure that things don't come out of anger. 135 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:56,942 'cause in a situation like that, 136 00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,144 You can put blame on everyone. 137 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:03,515 I could blame this person, I could blame that person, 138 00:08:05,084 --> 00:08:07,619 And it was never about blaming. 139 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,855 It was about taking control of it 140 00:08:09,857 --> 00:08:13,959 And being like, we all fucked up, you know? 141 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:18,063 You, me, your mom, our team, but this is what happened 142 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:22,200 And now we're gonna find a way to get through it. 143 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:34,513 just listen to this. 144 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:42,254 No russian has ever one a single's title here at wimbledon. 145 00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:51,129 And a new star is born here. 146 00:09:03,576 --> 00:09:06,278 And maria sharapova, 17-years old, 147 00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:11,550 Becomes the third youngest wimbledon champion of all time. 148 00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:17,789 I just feel like maybe I'm a bit of a new, fresh air, 149 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,558 You know, in women's tennis, 150 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,693 Which is great because you haven't seen 151 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,996 A lot of 17-year olds win a grand slam lately. 152 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:28,900 So, maybe we're coming back to the old times. 153 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:38,143 the champion is maria sharapova. 154 00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:45,083 The 19-year old has her second grand slam championship. 155 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,662 I started playing a pretty full schedule at that point 156 00:09:57,664 --> 00:10:01,700 And I realized a total decline in my health. 157 00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,971 My parents said, well actually we don't have a doctor. 158 00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:10,675 We have an athlete that's a grand slam champion 159 00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:13,878 That doesn't even have a family doctor. 160 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,146 - Nice. 161 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,848 And so that's the time when my father 162 00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:20,986 Found a doctor in russia, because I was still a teenager. 163 00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,687 Woah, woah, woah. 164 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,256 My father, he was kind of the captain of my team. 165 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,294 And america was very foreign to him, 166 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,196 Even though we'd lived here for years 167 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:32,664 He was still much more comfortable 168 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:35,266 Speaking to the russian doctor. 169 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,942 He was not a doctor that ever 170 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:47,679 Had any work done with an athlete. 171 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,714 He worked with immune systems of children, 172 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:52,317 And he was actually a pediatrician. 173 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:56,087 He did all those tests, and that gave me a list. 174 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,223 Actually, it was quite an extensive list 175 00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,392 Especially for a teenager, of different substances 176 00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,160 That he recommended that I take 177 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,996 And mildronate was one of the 10. 178 00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:09,300 I was given this medicine by my doctor 179 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:12,737 For several health issues that I was having 180 00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,439 Back in 2006. 181 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:18,710 I was getting sick a lot, I was getting the flu 182 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,779 Every couple of months. 183 00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,981 I had irregular ekg results. 184 00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:29,154 So, in russia mildronate was an over-the-counter substance. 185 00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:33,692 It's taken almost like an aspirin back home. 186 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:39,998 From wada laboratories with an official stamp and signature 187 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,734 Saying all the substances that he had recommended 188 00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:46,771 For me to take were completely permitted and legal. 189 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:52,777 I think around 12 times in 2015 and the previous nine years, 190 00:11:53,779 --> 00:11:55,847 And everything was fine. 191 00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,018 It was determined that meldonium was going 192 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:03,488 From the monitoring list to the prohibited list. 193 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:07,425 At the end of 2015, players were sent emails 194 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,129 And there was nothing about meldonium 195 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:14,799 Written front and center in any of them. 196 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:17,502 It was just very disappointing to learn 197 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:21,473 What other federations did in order to warn their athletes, 198 00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:23,475 Because if I was warned, 199 00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:27,078 When I would have received that email in January, 200 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:31,316 I would have at least known what the word meldonium was. 201 00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:38,923 The itf knew that there was over 20 tests in 2015 202 00:12:40,025 --> 00:12:41,426 That had meldonium in their system, 203 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,528 And some of them were my tests. 204 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,197 That's quite a large number, so, 205 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,867 The fact that they had that number 206 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:53,104 And didn't do anything extra with it is very alarming. 207 00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:58,143 I'm very sure that maria did not know 208 00:12:58,145 --> 00:12:59,511 This thing was on the list, 209 00:12:59,513 --> 00:13:03,982 'cause we are so paranoid about taking anything 210 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,550 That is on that list. 211 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:08,486 If she was caught to be positive on the doping 212 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:11,222 For a certain substance, then there should be 213 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:12,791 Certain kind of a, 214 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,860 You know, consequences for that. 215 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:19,197 I think most people were happy that she was up front 216 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,566 And very honest and showed a lot of courage 217 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:25,236 To admit to what she had done and what she had 218 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:28,139 Neglected to look at in terms of, 219 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,810 Of the list at the end of the year. 220 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,545 She has such a very professional team. 221 00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:35,213 From everybody in the tennis world 222 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,982 I think maria sharapova is the last person 223 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,952 That we expected this to happen to. 224 00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,455 when there are four or five people on the team, 225 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,825 Everyone has a specific role. 226 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,560 So you have a physical therapist, a fitness coach, 227 00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:52,931 When you go here, then you are here. 228 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,899 You see the difference? 229 00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:56,467 I mean, it's such a small difference, 230 00:13:56,469 --> 00:14:00,205 But it's a huge impact on the outcome. 231 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,842 - I think I, along with my team, 232 00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:07,212 Got comfortable with the using and taking something 233 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:11,049 That was given to me for my health so many years ago 234 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,318 And never, ever crossed my mind 235 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:17,589 That I was ever taking anything for performance enhancing. 236 00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:21,626 I had a system in place that worked for many years 237 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:23,962 On checking the substances. 238 00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:28,600 I stopped working with the doctor in russia in 2013 239 00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:32,337 'cause I wanted to take more of a natural approach. 240 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,105 One of the things I didn't have 241 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,573 After I stopped working with him 242 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:39,611 Was that point person that overlooked everything. 243 00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:42,614 I continued to take three of the substances 244 00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,883 Which he had always told me to take, 245 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:47,218 And mildronate was one of them. 246 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,955 I had let my manager know, and he had the responsibility 247 00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,358 Of checking that every year. 248 00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,594 Because of personal problems, issues, 249 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:59,530 What he had going on in his life in 2015, 250 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,432 He didn't check the list, 251 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,334 So that was his mistake 252 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:06,004 And my bigger mistake was not making sure 253 00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:08,373 That he checked the list at the end of the year. 254 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,408 That was my mistake of being comfortable, 255 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:14,012 Of being satisfied that something was completely legal 256 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:17,649 And that there's no reason for me to have to double check. 257 00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:19,651 I'm sorry, that doesn't hold together. 258 00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:23,321 It was willful negligence to miss that. 259 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:27,558 I take great responsibility and professionalism 260 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,963 In my job every single day, and I made a huge mistake. 261 00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,300 You're running a 30 million dollar a year sole enterprise. 262 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,936 You better make sure that the basis 263 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:41,372 For that commercial success, if nothing else, 264 00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,207 Remains unassailable. 265 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,577 I can have so many reasons to be angry. 266 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:50,381 I can think of so many people, I can blame so many people, 267 00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:54,352 Including myself, but that doesn't help you moving forward. 268 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:58,489 I could fire many people, and what would that do? 269 00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:00,458 What would that change? 270 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:05,463 I know that with this, I face consequences, 271 00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:12,036 And I don't wanna end my career this way. 272 00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:16,074 I really hope that I will be given another chance 273 00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:17,976 To play this game. 274 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:26,417 In early June, I got the official wording 275 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:30,655 And statement from the itf after my case was heard. 276 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,626 They had banned me for two years. 277 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:39,597 The maximum that I could've received was four years, 278 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,666 And the minimum was one. 279 00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:45,036 I mean, two years meant I had no intent 280 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:48,239 Of performance enhancing, yet, it said 281 00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:52,010 That I had a way of performance enhancing, 282 00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:57,682 Which I think contradicts itself very openly. 283 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:03,588 The itf also made a big point about the fact 284 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:07,225 That I was concealing my use of meldonium, 285 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:12,497 Which is far from the truth as there was no reason 286 00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:16,734 For me to hide something that was completely legal 287 00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:18,503 For me to take. 288 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:26,177 It was all very hurtful and it was all very aggressive. 289 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,147 It just felt very violating. 290 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:35,119 The one thing that I've always wanted in my career was, 291 00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,489 You know, I never felt like, 292 00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:42,093 I don't need to be liked or loved by everyone, 293 00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:46,330 And that's not realistic, but I wanted to be respected. 294 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,599 good morning everybody, thanks a lot 295 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,334 For taking the time in your morning. 296 00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:53,104 I wanna make a few points, and then take any questions. 297 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:56,174 Don't give me less than I deserve. 298 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,742 No, I didn't ask for that. 299 00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:02,113 I didn't ask for you to tell me I could go play tomorrow. 300 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:06,617 I appealed the time frame of two years to a neutral judge. 301 00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,520 It was another chance, but it was the final chance 302 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,589 That I had, and it was the final verdict. 303 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:15,159 There was no other appeal and there was no other process, 304 00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:19,197 And what I was gonna get, I was gonna have to live with. 305 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,416 - hello? 306 00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:41,486 - 15 months! 307 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,221 - oh my god! 308 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:48,593 Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! 309 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,196 All right, yes! 310 00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:55,166 Oh, congratulations! 311 00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,400 - Thank you. 312 00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:59,303 oh my god, that's sweet. 313 00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:04,342 I am, I am, I can come back in April. 314 00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:07,345 I know. 315 00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:10,615 I know. 316 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:16,154 I know, but those motherfuckers, I still wanted 12 months. 317 00:19:16,688 --> 00:19:17,355 But it's okay. 318 00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,192 It's all right. 319 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,929 It's okay, there's a reason. 320 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:32,570 There's a lot in me that's very much a portrait 321 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,305 Of someone that just fights, 322 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:37,275 And whether that's ugly, whether it's pretty, 323 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,443 I really don't care. 324 00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:42,413 I just fight for what I believe is right, 325 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:46,517 For what I believe is my right and what is my voice. 326 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,854 Looking back at myself, I believe that in those moments 327 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:53,357 That's who I was, I was a street fighter. 328 00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:58,963 As I was reading the report, I was just so, 329 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,531 You know, I just felt free 330 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,367 And I felt like, it was so comforting 331 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:06,337 To realize that a neutral panel 332 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:09,240 Had stated the language so clearly 333 00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:15,246 And came out and said that we pretty much don't agree 334 00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,248 With the itf verdict, 335 00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:22,320 That maria had no intent in performance enhancing, 336 00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,822 She did not violate those rules. 337 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:28,726 She did not mask or hide her use of mildronate 338 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,996 And meldonium, she is by no means allowed 339 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,699 To be called an intentional doper. 340 00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,400 I mean, 341 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:40,638 I think those words are pretty clear and pretty strong. 342 00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:03,361 What's the latest update? 343 00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:04,962 - the latest, I'm getting, 344 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:05,896 - Bombarded? 345 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,832 - yeah, getting bombarded 346 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:11,669 By friends, family. 347 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,904 - I had statement is gold. 348 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:19,844 well I mean, I stood up from the beginning. 349 00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:22,480 - I like people with no fear. 350 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,350 I like it. 351 00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:33,524 - Have you spoken to your dad? 352 00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:35,059 He's been off the, - I know. 353 00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:39,697 I haven't, well, I spoke to him on the day 354 00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:41,299 And he's like, "why are you crying?" 355 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,067 I'm like, "why am I crying?" 356 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:48,839 Uh, what the fuck do you mean, why am I crying? 357 00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:58,082 It's already out, daddy. 358 00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:59,383 Yeah, yes. 359 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:21,572 He just told me, no matter what happens in life 360 00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:22,707 You need to sleep. 361 00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:24,875 Thanks. 362 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:41,659 Okay, I love you. 363 00:22:43,061 --> 00:22:45,429 I can't wait to get in that room right now, 364 00:22:45,431 --> 00:22:47,465 'cause I can just see max. 365 00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:49,367 - Good, we're in this room here. 366 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:50,601 Hey, how are ya buddy? 367 00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:51,869 - Good, john, 368 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:52,703 Good to see ya. - Good to see ya. 369 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:53,537 We're this way, guys. 370 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:54,438 Morning. 371 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,075 - Oh, look who's here. 372 00:22:59,811 --> 00:23:03,981 I thought you might have lost some weight since Friday. 373 00:23:06,386 --> 00:23:07,618 - monitoring everything. 374 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:08,686 - Hey rich. - How are you? 375 00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,421 - How are you? - Good. 376 00:23:10,423 --> 00:23:12,089 - I'm great. 377 00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:15,860 Have her go to gma, and then they get two interviews 378 00:23:15,862 --> 00:23:18,763 They don't get it first, but at least they get two spots. 379 00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:20,464 - I don't have nay money left. 380 00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:23,467 I don't have any money left from all the shrink bills 381 00:23:23,469 --> 00:23:27,705 That I had to pay to get through this thing. 382 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,808 You really understand who your true friends are 383 00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:33,511 And who your, during a process like this. 384 00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:35,679 Her sponsors have been amazing. 385 00:23:35,681 --> 00:23:37,415 I mean, every one of them had the right 386 00:23:37,417 --> 00:23:39,650 To terminate the contract if they wanted to, 387 00:23:39,652 --> 00:23:42,052 And everyone but one stayed. 388 00:23:44,122 --> 00:23:48,092 To see them happy with the results is just great, 389 00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:49,860 So, you know. 390 00:23:49,862 --> 00:23:52,496 Maybe we're all a little better from it, 391 00:23:52,498 --> 00:23:54,632 But, it's been tough. 392 00:23:56,969 --> 00:23:58,636 We've been through a lot together, 393 00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:00,571 Been together since she was 12 years old, 394 00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:03,607 And had some amazing moments, I mean, incredible moments 395 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:06,510 Of my life from winning grand slams 396 00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:09,079 And then you're dealt this. 397 00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:10,548 - Maria sharapova is here. 398 00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:12,950 In your mind, it was an honest mistake. 399 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:17,054 When I got the email that I had made a violation, 400 00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:21,225 I right away knew that my comeback was starting that moment. 401 00:24:21,227 --> 00:24:24,962 This type of story, in any athlete's career, 402 00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:28,165 Is rightfully damaging. 403 00:24:29,734 --> 00:24:31,535 It's not good for anyone. 404 00:24:31,537 --> 00:24:33,704 No one wins in this situation. 405 00:24:33,706 --> 00:24:35,940 Not the athletes, not the organizations, 406 00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:38,576 Not the sponsors, nobody. 407 00:24:47,752 --> 00:24:50,154 I don't think setting goals is really smart 408 00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:53,123 In this position, and I don't wanna say 409 00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:56,260 That my goal is to play the next olympics 410 00:24:56,262 --> 00:25:00,498 Or it's to play that many wimbledons. 411 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:02,500 Like, that'd be great, and it would be great 412 00:25:02,502 --> 00:25:06,971 But who knows what's gonna come up in life? 413 00:25:06,973 --> 00:25:11,208 That's the way I wanna treat my life and my career. 414 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,544 I think the way that I'm preparing 415 00:25:13,546 --> 00:25:15,279 Is that I'm actually not, 416 00:25:15,281 --> 00:25:19,083 And I think that's because, through my whole career, 417 00:25:19,085 --> 00:25:20,851 I've always prepared for a tournament 418 00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:24,088 That's next week, or a tournament in two weeks. 419 00:25:24,090 --> 00:25:27,625 I think during a time when I had so much uncertainty 420 00:25:27,627 --> 00:25:29,293 And so many question marks, 421 00:25:29,295 --> 00:25:33,731 I just learned how to be present in a situation. 422 00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:38,168 It also gave me a chance, like when you have this one path, 423 00:25:38,170 --> 00:25:41,272 And for me that's been tennis since I was a young girl. 424 00:25:41,274 --> 00:25:44,642 There's always that, you're almost scared 425 00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:48,879 Of what is life without what you've had for so long. 426 00:25:49,981 --> 00:25:51,782 You know, the moment where you're like, 427 00:25:51,784 --> 00:25:54,685 Wow, if I don't have that every single day, 428 00:25:54,687 --> 00:25:57,655 What am I gonna do? 429 00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:17,608 The middle of last year, I wore a t-shirt 430 00:26:17,610 --> 00:26:20,010 And it said, be back in five minutes. 431 00:26:20,012 --> 00:26:21,645 And the next thing I knew was my fans 432 00:26:21,647 --> 00:26:25,215 Started posting their pictures wearing the t-shirt. 433 00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:28,919 They were going around the world and finding the t-shirt 434 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:31,755 And then posting their pictures. 435 00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:34,692 I mean, there must've been hundreds and hundreds 436 00:26:34,694 --> 00:26:37,294 Of these posts, which was so special. 437 00:26:37,296 --> 00:26:39,697 I think it just really makes you realize 438 00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:43,100 That so many people care about what you do, 439 00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:47,338 And really appreciate not just tennis, but who you are. 440 00:26:48,607 --> 00:26:49,340 Yeah, I think it just made me realize 441 00:26:49,342 --> 00:26:51,675 How many supporters I had. 442 00:26:52,844 --> 00:26:54,111 maybe they thought you meant, 443 00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:58,015 Like I'll be back, I'm coming back in five minutes. 444 00:26:58,017 --> 00:27:01,218 Right, which was far from five minutes. 445 00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:02,953 More like 15 months. 446 00:27:04,089 --> 00:27:07,658 I needed to add a one in front of the five. 447 00:27:09,828 --> 00:27:12,696 In this past year, I just felt like 448 00:27:12,698 --> 00:27:16,400 I was actually able to take control of what I wanted to do, 449 00:27:16,402 --> 00:27:19,136 What kind of workouts I wanted to have, 450 00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:21,705 Where I wanted to travel, who I wanted to see, 451 00:27:21,707 --> 00:27:23,340 Who I wanted to spend time with, 452 00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:27,778 Who I wanted advice from, and that felt really good. 453 00:27:34,886 --> 00:27:38,656 I'm in the city going to shoot a story 454 00:27:38,658 --> 00:27:42,292 With annie leibovitz for April's vogue issue. 455 00:27:44,763 --> 00:27:48,198 I'm also gonna be in the new ocean's movie. 456 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:52,169 I'm not sure what exactly I'm doing 457 00:27:52,171 --> 00:27:55,773 Or how big of a role, how big or small of a role I have, 458 00:27:55,775 --> 00:27:59,710 But it'll be great to be a little piece of the ocean's movie 459 00:27:59,712 --> 00:28:03,681 That's gonna be filmed in the night time at the met. 460 00:28:04,749 --> 00:28:07,284 But first I'm going for a workout, 461 00:28:07,286 --> 00:28:09,787 'cause what do you do when you land in new york city? 462 00:28:09,789 --> 00:28:11,422 You go and work out. 463 00:28:14,126 --> 00:28:17,161 Working out to music, I've never done that in my life. 464 00:28:17,163 --> 00:28:19,430 It's good for me, good for my mind, 465 00:28:19,432 --> 00:28:20,931 And it's something I started with 466 00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:23,467 From the first day in March, of my comeback, 467 00:28:23,469 --> 00:28:26,737 So I feel like I need to keep it up. 468 00:28:28,106 --> 00:28:31,709 No one told me that I had to go and get stronger on a bike, 469 00:28:31,711 --> 00:28:34,378 You know, no one told me that I had to go 470 00:28:34,380 --> 00:28:38,816 In this hot room that's 105 degrees and do hot yoga, 471 00:28:39,984 --> 00:28:43,253 But something, something developed in my mind 472 00:28:43,255 --> 00:28:45,322 Where I was like, I'm doing this for my body. 473 00:28:45,324 --> 00:28:47,725 I'm not doing this for roland garros, 474 00:28:47,727 --> 00:28:50,894 I'm not doing this for a tournament in china, 475 00:28:50,896 --> 00:28:52,963 I'm doing this for me, I'm doing it for my health, 476 00:28:52,965 --> 00:28:55,199 I'm doing it for my sanity, 477 00:28:55,201 --> 00:28:57,434 I'm doing it to be strong. 478 00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:05,242 The reason I got into different types of training 479 00:29:05,244 --> 00:29:08,412 Is because I'm an individual that gets bored 480 00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:11,982 With a lot of the same training and a lot of repetition. 481 00:29:11,984 --> 00:29:15,853 I'm a better athlete when I'm motivated by new things. 482 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,825 The one thing with boxing, I was always a little bit scared 483 00:29:21,827 --> 00:29:24,528 And fragile because I was just so susceptible 484 00:29:24,530 --> 00:29:26,196 To getting injured. 485 00:29:29,467 --> 00:29:32,202 That time away from playing tennis 486 00:29:32,204 --> 00:29:34,338 Gave me a chance to do work 487 00:29:34,340 --> 00:29:37,040 Where I wasn't afraid of getting hurt. 488 00:29:37,042 --> 00:29:39,777 One, two, three, two, step back. 489 00:29:39,779 --> 00:29:42,346 and boxing is invigorating because, 490 00:29:42,348 --> 00:29:43,881 Even though it's so different to tennis, 491 00:29:43,883 --> 00:29:45,415 There's a lot of quick steps, 492 00:29:45,417 --> 00:29:47,317 There's a lot of foot work involved, 493 00:29:47,319 --> 00:29:50,220 There's that having a strong base. 494 00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:53,891 I think the biggest thing it gave me 495 00:29:53,893 --> 00:29:55,893 Is a sense of concentration, 496 00:29:55,895 --> 00:29:59,429 Which I could really, really correlate to tennis 497 00:29:59,431 --> 00:30:01,331 Because when you're out on the court, 498 00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:03,066 No matter what's going on in your life 499 00:30:03,068 --> 00:30:07,104 You have to be so focused on your game. 500 00:30:07,106 --> 00:30:08,005 - Hit it. 501 00:30:08,007 --> 00:30:13,177 I have the passion to challenge myself in other areas, 502 00:30:13,179 --> 00:30:15,145 To do different things. 503 00:30:16,014 --> 00:30:19,216 And, I've always wanted to study. 504 00:30:19,218 --> 00:30:22,186 I started doing research and then I realized 505 00:30:22,188 --> 00:30:24,888 That I had a connection from harvard. 506 00:30:24,890 --> 00:30:28,192 They did a harvard case study on me many years ago, 507 00:30:28,194 --> 00:30:29,960 On my agent and I. 508 00:30:32,130 --> 00:30:34,064 I called a professor there and I said, 509 00:30:34,066 --> 00:30:36,099 "look, I have three weeks' time 510 00:30:36,101 --> 00:30:39,369 "until I have to get ready for my next hearing," 511 00:30:39,371 --> 00:30:41,972 And I said, "I wanna study." 512 00:30:41,974 --> 00:30:44,975 There were summer programs happening at the time 513 00:30:44,977 --> 00:30:47,511 And I took two courses. 514 00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:51,014 Looking back at it, I think it was more of a choice 515 00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:52,850 To be in a controlled environment 516 00:30:52,852 --> 00:30:55,185 Where I wasn't the subject, 517 00:30:56,588 --> 00:30:59,890 Where people in the room, and there were about 50 of them, 518 00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:03,093 Were not interested in my life and my stories 519 00:31:03,095 --> 00:31:04,962 And my problems. 520 00:31:04,964 --> 00:31:06,864 They were there to learn from someone 521 00:31:06,866 --> 00:31:08,465 That was conducting a class, 522 00:31:08,467 --> 00:31:11,602 And that, to me, was freedom, really. 523 00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:17,040 If, in the morning I wake up 524 00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:18,909 And I don't wanna be better at something 525 00:31:18,911 --> 00:31:21,378 Or I don't wanna be challenged, 526 00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:23,914 It would feel like a wasted day. 527 00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:27,417 I think I've always been scared of being one-dimensional, 528 00:31:27,419 --> 00:31:30,654 And I think it's also a choice that you make as a person, 529 00:31:30,656 --> 00:31:32,623 As a woman, and an individual 530 00:31:32,625 --> 00:31:35,158 On what you wanna do with your life. 531 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:36,894 I think it scares me to think that 532 00:31:36,896 --> 00:31:39,563 I won't have things to do when I finish my career, 533 00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:42,933 And so that has always pushed me and driven me 534 00:31:42,935 --> 00:31:45,669 To take meetings which I would never know 535 00:31:45,671 --> 00:31:48,138 If they would turn into something, 536 00:31:48,140 --> 00:31:49,673 Or meet people which I don't know 537 00:31:49,675 --> 00:31:52,075 If they would have any influence or business with me 538 00:31:52,077 --> 00:31:55,379 In the future, but I do it 'cause I love 539 00:31:55,381 --> 00:31:58,448 Seeing where it can take me. 540 00:31:58,450 --> 00:32:01,318 I have a few set days during the year 541 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,987 Where I commit to my sponsors 542 00:32:05,990 --> 00:32:09,092 And usually we try to bundle them all together 543 00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:12,529 So I don't have too many days that I have to commit. 544 00:32:12,531 --> 00:32:14,965 So like today, we did an event with supergoop 545 00:32:14,967 --> 00:32:17,501 And we're following it up with a shoot for head 546 00:32:17,503 --> 00:32:20,704 Who's been a long-time racket sponsor of mine. 547 00:32:20,706 --> 00:32:22,306 And then we move on to this set 548 00:32:22,308 --> 00:32:23,640 Where we're gonna do action. 549 00:32:23,642 --> 00:32:24,942 This won't makes sense just 'cause 550 00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:26,476 I don't hit a slice much often. 551 00:32:26,478 --> 00:32:27,945 - Yeah, that's kinda... 552 00:32:27,947 --> 00:32:29,446 - Talk about non-authentic. 553 00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:31,281 do you think that would work a bit better then? 554 00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:32,716 - Yeah, that's better. 555 00:32:32,718 --> 00:32:34,518 - looks good. 556 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:35,352 Yeah, nice. 557 00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:37,988 - One more test. - Okay. 558 00:32:37,990 --> 00:32:39,690 One more test, yeah. 559 00:32:39,692 --> 00:32:42,392 You know, these days are obviously really nice 560 00:32:42,394 --> 00:32:44,428 Because I get to see the people 561 00:32:44,430 --> 00:32:47,364 That are actually behind all the work that I get to do 562 00:32:47,366 --> 00:32:50,000 And the product that is created, 563 00:32:50,002 --> 00:32:52,002 So a little bit more on a personal level 564 00:32:52,004 --> 00:32:55,038 Which is nice, and just to hang out 565 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,374 With the crew that does my hair and makeup 566 00:32:57,376 --> 00:32:58,976 And I've known for so many years 567 00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:00,978 Is always really fun as well. 568 00:33:22,700 --> 00:33:24,701 I put a lot on my plate, 569 00:33:24,703 --> 00:33:28,071 And I sometimes put so much on my plate 570 00:33:28,073 --> 00:33:30,040 That I need a day or two to recover 571 00:33:30,042 --> 00:33:31,541 Where I'm just like in bed 572 00:33:31,543 --> 00:33:33,276 And I just need to be by myself 573 00:33:33,278 --> 00:33:36,279 And I'm just drinking ginger tea for 48 hours 574 00:33:36,281 --> 00:33:38,348 And I get back on the horse. 575 00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:41,551 But, I do a lot and I think the only thing 576 00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:44,755 That people remember, are people's actions. 577 00:33:44,757 --> 00:33:47,324 I wanna say things with my actions, 578 00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:48,725 And whether that's on the court 579 00:33:48,727 --> 00:33:49,793 Or whether that's off the court, 580 00:33:49,795 --> 00:33:51,495 I believe in that so much. 581 00:33:51,497 --> 00:33:54,031 I think one of the things that my career and life 582 00:33:54,033 --> 00:33:57,734 Has provided me is to be able to have a voice. 583 00:33:59,103 --> 00:34:02,305 I actually decided to write a book in 2015, 584 00:34:02,307 --> 00:34:05,275 Well before anything had happened. 585 00:34:05,277 --> 00:34:08,678 In the beginning of 2016 I obviously 586 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:13,116 Have added a few extra chapters to that book, 587 00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:15,786 And maybe made the publishers happier 588 00:34:15,788 --> 00:34:19,122 'cause then maybe it would sell a few extra copies, 589 00:34:19,124 --> 00:34:22,225 But that was definitely not in my plan. 590 00:34:24,228 --> 00:34:27,164 I think I was a little bit, I questioned 591 00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:29,366 Why I wanted to write a book 592 00:34:30,501 --> 00:34:32,602 Because I've always been a very private 593 00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:35,439 And simple individual, and I never, 594 00:34:35,441 --> 00:34:38,241 I don't think a big part of me allowed 595 00:34:38,243 --> 00:34:40,310 Many people into my life. 596 00:34:40,312 --> 00:34:42,746 I think there wasn't a time or a moment 597 00:34:42,748 --> 00:34:44,314 Where I said I'm gonna be more open 598 00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:46,149 Or I wanna share more of my life. 599 00:34:46,151 --> 00:34:47,684 I think it just comes with experience 600 00:34:47,686 --> 00:34:51,188 And it comes with personal growth. 601 00:34:51,190 --> 00:34:55,425 I think my form of friendships has always been, 602 00:34:56,227 --> 00:34:57,627 When can I see this person 603 00:34:57,629 --> 00:35:00,130 Or when can we make time to see each other? 604 00:35:00,132 --> 00:35:03,600 'cause all my friends have jobs in very different fields 605 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:06,336 And they live all around the world. 606 00:35:06,338 --> 00:35:10,240 For once, they weren't relying on my schedule, 607 00:35:11,309 --> 00:35:14,244 So that was, I think that simplicity 608 00:35:14,246 --> 00:35:16,480 Of going to a simple dinner 609 00:35:16,482 --> 00:35:19,549 That's maybe later than I would ever go to 610 00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:23,653 Because I don't need to be on the courts at 9:00am. 611 00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:27,290 You know, I can come to the courts at 11:00am. 612 00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:29,659 I think having that freedom and having that flexibility 613 00:35:29,661 --> 00:35:32,462 Really gave me the chance to have 614 00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:35,732 Those simple moments with my friends 615 00:35:35,734 --> 00:35:38,201 And not do it on a time clock. 616 00:35:38,203 --> 00:35:38,902 Pink. 617 00:35:40,404 --> 00:35:42,873 I did a lot of spur-of-the-moment trips 618 00:35:42,875 --> 00:35:45,308 Where I thought about a place I wanted to go 619 00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:47,544 And I would just make plans and I would do it, 620 00:35:47,546 --> 00:35:50,680 And I would see who can come with me. 621 00:35:52,216 --> 00:35:54,851 But there was no doubt that I'd have that hunger 622 00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:58,255 To come back, and my friends were actually asking me, 623 00:35:58,257 --> 00:36:00,190 Like, "so, when do we lose you?" 624 00:36:01,727 --> 00:36:05,695 I was like, "well, I think that time has come." 625 00:36:07,899 --> 00:36:11,468 So it's January, and I'm not in australia 626 00:36:11,470 --> 00:36:13,837 At the australian open. 627 00:36:13,839 --> 00:36:17,340 Instead I am watching the australian open 628 00:36:18,342 --> 00:36:20,844 On television with 102 fever, 629 00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:25,582 And a really sexy voice. 630 00:36:25,584 --> 00:36:29,286 Gonna pick up a lotta men with this voice. 631 00:36:29,288 --> 00:36:31,454 And a big box of kleenex. 632 00:36:36,727 --> 00:36:40,263 Sometimes I look back at moments where, 633 00:36:40,265 --> 00:36:42,532 You know, I think that I was, 634 00:36:43,901 --> 00:36:47,537 I was really sad or that I was really tough on myself. 635 00:36:50,241 --> 00:36:51,908 But I look back on that and I was like, 636 00:36:51,910 --> 00:36:54,277 Wow, that was challenging. 637 00:36:54,279 --> 00:36:56,546 That was really, really hard. 638 00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:03,386 In this time, I personally realized 639 00:37:03,388 --> 00:37:06,556 That vulnerability was actually cool, 640 00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:09,626 There's something very raw about it. 641 00:37:16,267 --> 00:37:18,335 One of the biggest victories I've had this year 642 00:37:18,337 --> 00:37:21,304 Is that I'm coming back on April 26th, 643 00:37:21,306 --> 00:37:24,307 And that's a huge victory on its own. 644 00:37:24,309 --> 00:37:27,310 I fought really hard for that, 645 00:37:27,312 --> 00:37:30,013 Internally and externally. 646 00:37:30,015 --> 00:37:32,616 I thought about it and I wanted it and I asked for it. 647 00:37:32,618 --> 00:37:35,719 I asked it from lawyers, I asked it from the arbitrators, 648 00:37:35,721 --> 00:37:39,022 I asked it from myself, and I got that. 649 00:37:41,392 --> 00:37:43,360 And now you wanna almost prove 650 00:37:43,362 --> 00:37:47,597 That everything that you've gone through was worth it. 651 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,669 I think I'm most excited and most nervous 652 00:37:52,671 --> 00:37:56,006 About what I will be able to bring 653 00:37:56,008 --> 00:37:58,808 For myself out of this situation. 654 00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:03,413 If I didn't feel nervous and if I didn't feel butterflies 655 00:38:03,415 --> 00:38:05,315 And if I didn't feel excited, 656 00:38:05,317 --> 00:38:07,951 Then I probably wouldn't be coming back. 657 00:38:07,953 --> 00:38:10,520 Like that just, then what for? 658 00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:21,398 So we're back at my memory lane 659 00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,334 Where it all began for me in america, 660 00:38:25,336 --> 00:38:27,704 In florida at the img academy. 661 00:38:27,706 --> 00:38:30,407 I'm spending a few weeks doing a training block 662 00:38:30,409 --> 00:38:33,510 Of two and a half weeks at the academy. 663 00:38:34,545 --> 00:38:37,080 Long days, just spending time on the courts 664 00:38:37,082 --> 00:38:39,649 Spending time off the court in the gym, 665 00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:42,085 Running, and a little bit of everything, really, 666 00:38:42,087 --> 00:38:46,323 But just setting the tone for my body again, and my mind. 667 00:38:49,961 --> 00:38:54,397 I think the biggest challenge I have ahead of me 668 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,400 In training blocks is the repetition. 669 00:39:11,449 --> 00:39:13,817 Hitting balls and playing points 670 00:39:13,819 --> 00:39:17,921 And getting that feeling of doing it over and over 671 00:39:17,923 --> 00:39:20,457 Without many days off. 672 00:39:20,459 --> 00:39:23,560 perfect, those four were great. 673 00:39:28,766 --> 00:39:32,635 challenging my body on the court now, 674 00:39:32,637 --> 00:39:36,106 Back to the movements, back to the side steps, 675 00:39:36,108 --> 00:39:39,409 Back to the quick change of directions. 676 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,914 And doing it repetitively. 677 00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:47,550 - yeah. 678 00:39:51,455 --> 00:39:54,791 Yes, now you're putting your weight on. 679 00:39:56,660 --> 00:39:58,995 - So I think that, in itself, 680 00:39:58,997 --> 00:40:01,831 Will be challenging and difficult, 681 00:40:01,833 --> 00:40:04,934 But I think my body's ready for it. 682 00:40:04,936 --> 00:40:07,604 It's had time to be ready for it. 683 00:40:09,941 --> 00:40:12,742 I think I'll start with three weeks 684 00:40:12,744 --> 00:40:16,980 Of just grinding, coming to the courts 9:00am, 685 00:40:18,482 --> 00:40:21,117 Starting with warm ups, spending a few hours on the court, 686 00:40:21,119 --> 00:40:23,753 Doing a cool down core stretch, 687 00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:27,490 Working on my shoulder a little bit. 688 00:40:27,492 --> 00:40:29,726 Lunch break, a little nap. 689 00:40:29,728 --> 00:40:31,428 I love to take naps. 690 00:40:31,430 --> 00:40:32,529 - come on. 691 00:40:32,531 --> 00:40:33,430 Yes. 692 00:40:33,432 --> 00:40:35,465 Come on, pick it up. 693 00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:36,566 Yeah. 694 00:40:37,501 --> 00:40:39,602 Focus on the left leg, left leg, yep. 695 00:40:39,604 --> 00:40:41,604 doing a session in the gym. 696 00:40:41,606 --> 00:40:43,173 just work on the mechanics, 697 00:40:43,175 --> 00:40:45,208 That's improving your efficiency. 698 00:40:45,210 --> 00:40:47,544 Yes, yes, yes, I like that one. 699 00:40:47,546 --> 00:40:49,012 Last one. 700 00:40:49,014 --> 00:40:50,447 and then I do about an hour, hour and a half 701 00:40:50,449 --> 00:40:53,216 Of treatment work on my body every evening. 702 00:40:53,218 --> 00:40:54,217 - Two more. 703 00:40:57,688 --> 00:40:58,521 Three. 704 00:40:58,523 --> 00:40:59,622 Don't push too much. 705 00:40:59,624 --> 00:41:01,891 - So, turns into long days. 706 00:41:03,461 --> 00:41:05,228 But the one thing that is really important for me 707 00:41:05,230 --> 00:41:07,831 Is the recovery aspect of training, 708 00:41:07,833 --> 00:41:10,467 And that's always, that's the tricky balance 709 00:41:10,469 --> 00:41:12,535 Is understanding how much is enough, 710 00:41:12,537 --> 00:41:16,172 How much is too much, when do you need the time off. 711 00:41:16,174 --> 00:41:20,109 I'd rather feel fresh and my body feel like it's ready to go 712 00:41:20,111 --> 00:41:22,078 And feel a little bit rusty, 713 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:23,813 And maybe not have the best timing 714 00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:26,850 Because that comes, that comes with just doing 715 00:41:26,852 --> 00:41:29,619 What you've been doing for years on end. 716 00:41:33,491 --> 00:41:35,124 I mean, I've never really been in that situation 717 00:41:35,126 --> 00:41:36,826 Where I have this period of time 718 00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:39,596 To really include training blocks. 719 00:41:39,598 --> 00:41:41,598 Usually one training block and you're ready 720 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,701 To go to a tournament, but now it's a little bit different 721 00:41:44,703 --> 00:41:46,169 Because I have a couple of months 722 00:41:46,171 --> 00:41:49,005 Instead of just a few weeks. 723 00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:51,541 I think the great thing about having a full-time team 724 00:41:51,543 --> 00:41:55,211 Is that you're able to put a plan in place. 725 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:59,649 You have my father, who's very much involved 726 00:41:59,651 --> 00:42:01,518 In my career still. 727 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,153 You have the coach, a fitness coach, 728 00:42:04,155 --> 00:42:05,588 You have a physical therapist, 729 00:42:05,590 --> 00:42:07,924 You have a hitting partner. 730 00:42:12,930 --> 00:42:14,664 All this force that you create 731 00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:17,834 Is just going in one direction, 732 00:42:17,836 --> 00:42:19,602 In one direction. 733 00:42:19,604 --> 00:42:22,038 I would say the leader of my team is sven, 734 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,942 Who's been my coach for about three years now. 735 00:42:28,145 --> 00:42:30,547 - Okay, hold on one second. 736 00:42:30,549 --> 00:42:33,149 So, the reason why I want you to have, even now, 737 00:42:33,151 --> 00:42:37,587 You don't have the same pressure on the right side. 738 00:42:38,188 --> 00:42:39,622 Enough, I'm just telling you 739 00:42:39,624 --> 00:42:42,792 The reason why your left leg is stronger, yeah? 740 00:42:42,794 --> 00:42:43,760 Yes or no? 741 00:42:43,762 --> 00:42:46,162 - Yes. 742 00:42:46,164 --> 00:42:49,699 So, unconsciously even, you wanna push off on your left. 743 00:42:50,601 --> 00:42:52,101 That's just a fact. 744 00:42:52,103 --> 00:42:53,636 - So can I ask you a question? 745 00:42:53,638 --> 00:42:57,740 So was I, five days ago I had more weight 746 00:42:57,742 --> 00:43:00,610 On my back foot than I do right now? 747 00:43:00,612 --> 00:43:02,078 - This is how you're, - no. 748 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:05,848 right now, can I, can you just stand like this? 749 00:43:05,850 --> 00:43:07,617 - Question, am I not standing 750 00:43:07,619 --> 00:43:09,285 The same as I was five days ago? 751 00:43:09,287 --> 00:43:10,920 - no, but, no. 752 00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:12,088 - Okay. 753 00:43:12,090 --> 00:43:13,990 Meaning, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, 754 00:43:13,992 --> 00:43:15,124 Wait, wait, wait, no, no. 755 00:43:15,126 --> 00:43:18,628 You were not having enough weight on that right side. 756 00:43:18,630 --> 00:43:19,996 I understand, but is it the same as it was... 757 00:43:19,998 --> 00:43:21,931 Even before, yes, yep, exactly. 758 00:43:21,933 --> 00:43:22,932 - the same? 759 00:43:22,934 --> 00:43:24,200 - The same, the same thing. 760 00:43:24,202 --> 00:43:25,735 but it wasn't such a, 761 00:43:25,737 --> 00:43:28,104 No, because I've now added this, 762 00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:30,840 That means that I'm adding you a little bit extra. 763 00:43:30,842 --> 00:43:32,775 I mean, we're always progressing. 764 00:43:32,777 --> 00:43:33,843 It's always. 765 00:43:35,380 --> 00:43:38,715 he's a guy that comes with a lot of experience, 766 00:43:38,717 --> 00:43:40,283 Not just experience on the court 767 00:43:40,285 --> 00:43:42,952 But experience of handling other people 768 00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:44,187 In a team environment. 769 00:43:44,189 --> 00:43:47,256 I think, as a coach that's one of the biggest 770 00:43:47,258 --> 00:43:48,992 Responsibilities as a leader 771 00:43:48,994 --> 00:43:51,127 Is when you're able to handle 772 00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:54,364 And adjust and understand everyone's role in a team. 773 00:43:54,366 --> 00:43:55,965 Should we have like a realistic goal then? 774 00:43:55,967 --> 00:43:56,799 - Yeah. 775 00:43:56,801 --> 00:43:57,800 No, 30 is good. 776 00:43:57,802 --> 00:43:58,768 - 30, we have... - 30 is good. 777 00:43:58,770 --> 00:44:00,236 - Let's start from the 30, okay? 778 00:44:00,238 --> 00:44:03,640 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, 779 00:44:03,642 --> 00:44:05,842 Eight, nine, 10, shit. 780 00:44:05,844 --> 00:44:06,743 Five, six, 781 00:44:08,345 --> 00:44:09,679 Two. 782 00:44:09,681 --> 00:44:11,347 I'm an embarrassment to my country. 783 00:44:11,349 --> 00:44:13,650 That's okay, they weren't in the world cup. 784 00:44:13,652 --> 00:44:16,152 - 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. 785 00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:19,889 One, six, seven, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 786 00:44:21,258 --> 00:44:22,792 25, six, seven, 787 00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:24,827 28, 29, go! 788 00:44:25,863 --> 00:44:26,896 30. 789 00:44:31,969 --> 00:44:33,836 - That's a drop shot. 790 00:44:39,010 --> 00:44:40,743 Good, come on. 791 00:44:40,745 --> 00:44:43,312 yutaka's my fitness trainer. 792 00:44:43,314 --> 00:44:46,416 I've worked with him ever since I was a young girl. 793 00:44:46,418 --> 00:44:47,984 - Stay loose, 794 00:44:47,986 --> 00:44:49,419 Stay loose. 795 00:44:49,421 --> 00:44:51,220 Five seconds, 796 00:44:51,222 --> 00:44:53,222 Four, three, two, walk. 797 00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:56,459 walk. 798 00:44:56,461 --> 00:44:59,762 he will go above and beyond anything 799 00:44:59,764 --> 00:45:01,864 That's in his job description. 800 00:45:01,866 --> 00:45:04,333 He's just the most loyal team member 801 00:45:04,335 --> 00:45:05,968 I think I've ever had. 802 00:45:05,970 --> 00:45:08,171 It's a family, this is a family, 803 00:45:08,173 --> 00:45:10,740 So whatever happens and we back her, 804 00:45:10,742 --> 00:45:14,077 Then we let her know that we are behind her. 805 00:45:14,079 --> 00:45:16,779 Not just me, it's just the whole team. 806 00:45:20,217 --> 00:45:21,117 And go! 807 00:45:22,453 --> 00:45:25,088 So you go stairs all the way, boom, boom, boom, boom. 808 00:45:25,090 --> 00:45:27,156 I'll run with you, okay? 809 00:45:28,192 --> 00:45:30,426 Walk back, that's the one, 810 00:45:31,462 --> 00:45:32,361 Two times. 811 00:45:34,498 --> 00:45:37,200 Use your arms, use your arms! 812 00:45:41,806 --> 00:45:44,340 Get it up, get it up, get it up. 813 00:45:45,476 --> 00:45:46,843 Good, come on. 814 00:45:49,447 --> 00:45:51,013 You're doing good. 815 00:45:56,787 --> 00:45:59,322 All those team members have different roles, 816 00:45:59,324 --> 00:46:01,791 But they all have one mission and one goal 817 00:46:01,793 --> 00:46:03,493 And so the coach's role, sven's role, 818 00:46:03,495 --> 00:46:07,930 Is to make sure that each one of those team members 819 00:46:08,265 --> 00:46:10,066 Is on that ride. 820 00:46:10,068 --> 00:46:12,068 And they're all from different parts of the world. 821 00:46:12,070 --> 00:46:15,338 Sven is dutch, and everyone else, culturally, 822 00:46:15,340 --> 00:46:17,473 Has a different background, and so working with that 823 00:46:17,475 --> 00:46:19,008 Is also very interesting, 824 00:46:19,010 --> 00:46:23,179 'cause, you know, one can be loud and one can be shy. 825 00:46:23,181 --> 00:46:25,882 How does everyone get along in that environment? 826 00:46:25,884 --> 00:46:27,116 - Is this the sauce? 827 00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:28,818 - yeah. 828 00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:30,820 all of a sudden they're in the kitchen. 829 00:46:30,822 --> 00:46:33,256 - Only when I'm cleaning. 830 00:46:33,258 --> 00:46:37,193 Basil, and tomatoes, zuppini, onions, olives 831 00:46:37,195 --> 00:46:38,327 All together. 832 00:46:39,329 --> 00:46:41,831 I like to add some cumin. 833 00:46:41,833 --> 00:46:45,101 I really don't discriminate. 834 00:46:45,103 --> 00:46:47,537 I look forward to every meal. 835 00:46:47,539 --> 00:46:48,871 Yutaka. - 100%. 836 00:46:48,873 --> 00:46:50,306 That's true, yutaka eats the most. 837 00:46:50,308 --> 00:46:53,509 Yutaka is in a really bad mood when he's hungry. 838 00:46:53,511 --> 00:46:58,181 Well, I'm actually running my ass off. 839 00:47:00,885 --> 00:47:03,586 That's what we're dealing with, okay? 840 00:47:03,588 --> 00:47:05,888 While you're on the sidelines with a phone. 841 00:47:05,890 --> 00:47:06,856 - But I'm focusing. 842 00:47:06,858 --> 00:47:08,257 - Checking my heart rate. 843 00:47:08,259 --> 00:47:09,826 - Yes, here we go. 844 00:47:11,929 --> 00:47:14,430 So we haven't had, or no, we had the russian meal. 845 00:47:14,432 --> 00:47:16,432 We had a russian meal, but it was my mom and, uh. 846 00:47:16,434 --> 00:47:17,366 - No. - Yeah. 847 00:47:17,368 --> 00:47:19,001 - But she make a good salad. 848 00:47:22,907 --> 00:47:24,040 - You should shut up. 849 00:47:26,311 --> 00:47:31,881 When was the last time you made something in the kitchen? 850 00:47:31,883 --> 00:47:34,283 I spend more time with my team year-long 851 00:47:34,285 --> 00:47:38,087 Than I do with my family or I do with my friends, 852 00:47:38,089 --> 00:47:40,423 And they become part of your family, 853 00:47:40,425 --> 00:47:43,426 So you better get along, you better like them. 854 00:47:47,198 --> 00:47:49,232 Where does my dad fit in? 855 00:47:49,234 --> 00:47:51,534 Oh gosh. 856 00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:54,270 That is a good fucking question. 857 00:47:58,108 --> 00:48:00,943 I think my dad's just, he's a dad. 858 00:48:03,013 --> 00:48:05,014 He overlooks everything, 859 00:48:05,016 --> 00:48:09,252 And I've understood from a very young age 860 00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:13,122 That when he was quiet and he was content 861 00:48:13,124 --> 00:48:15,024 Was when he was happy, 862 00:48:17,661 --> 00:48:19,395 And when he speaks 863 00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:21,664 That's usually when he, what he wants to say 864 00:48:21,666 --> 00:48:25,668 Is very important and you should listen to him. 865 00:48:25,670 --> 00:48:27,904 That's what, that's his tone of voice. 866 00:48:27,906 --> 00:48:30,072 So we do one from middle, two inside out, 867 00:48:30,074 --> 00:48:32,575 One from middle again, four balls. 868 00:48:42,085 --> 00:48:44,654 - This is far from a vacation. 869 00:48:45,689 --> 00:48:48,991 I know that the results from the sacrifice 870 00:48:48,993 --> 00:48:52,461 That I put into this, they've always been 871 00:48:52,463 --> 00:48:55,197 And they will be very rewarding. 872 00:49:04,408 --> 00:49:07,510 But, to get there, what you must put in 873 00:49:07,512 --> 00:49:08,644 Is difficult. 874 00:49:17,522 --> 00:49:20,690 So I'm back in la, just a few weeks away 875 00:49:20,692 --> 00:49:23,426 Until I head off to germany, 876 00:49:23,428 --> 00:49:27,029 And I've been playing points and matches 877 00:49:27,031 --> 00:49:30,232 And it's such a different ballgame. 878 00:49:30,234 --> 00:49:33,369 It's so different than just training, 879 00:49:33,371 --> 00:49:36,205 And also really frustrating because for 12 months 880 00:49:36,207 --> 00:49:40,042 I didn't compete and I didn't play those sets. 881 00:49:40,044 --> 00:49:44,280 What was so natural to me, being in certain circumstances 882 00:49:45,615 --> 00:49:48,417 And knowing how I felt when I was down in a match 883 00:49:48,419 --> 00:49:52,288 Or staying focused when I was ahead in a match, 884 00:49:52,290 --> 00:49:55,524 I feel like I'm re-learning on the court 885 00:49:55,526 --> 00:49:58,327 Which is a very different feeling. 886 00:50:03,533 --> 00:50:06,302 I think the one challenge with mental preparation 887 00:50:06,304 --> 00:50:09,071 Is that you never actually know what you're gonna feel like 888 00:50:09,073 --> 00:50:12,475 In a particular moment, so you can prepare 889 00:50:12,477 --> 00:50:16,212 In so many different ways, but until you get 890 00:50:17,481 --> 00:50:19,782 To that first city that you're competing at 891 00:50:19,784 --> 00:50:22,485 Or until you walk on to the court 892 00:50:22,487 --> 00:50:24,320 And until you play the match 893 00:50:24,322 --> 00:50:26,655 And until you leave the grounds after the match 894 00:50:26,657 --> 00:50:28,657 And until you do it over and over again, 895 00:50:28,659 --> 00:50:32,762 You don't know what your feeling will be, and I like that, 896 00:50:32,764 --> 00:50:36,098 'cause that's what makes it exciting. 897 00:50:40,137 --> 00:50:43,739 I'm one of the biggest competitors out there. 898 00:50:45,375 --> 00:50:48,577 I realize that everyone has a great work ethic, 899 00:50:48,579 --> 00:50:49,812 Especially in my sport. 900 00:50:49,814 --> 00:50:52,515 You can't be playing 20 tournaments a year, 901 00:50:52,517 --> 00:50:54,617 Traveling around the globe, 902 00:50:54,619 --> 00:50:56,285 No matter if you're 100 in the world, 903 00:50:56,287 --> 00:50:58,120 And not have work ethic. 904 00:50:58,122 --> 00:50:59,455 It takes more. 905 00:50:59,457 --> 00:51:01,223 get it up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up. 906 00:51:01,225 --> 00:51:04,493 I know what I have beyond a work ethic, 907 00:51:04,495 --> 00:51:08,731 You know, the will and not letting anyone stand in my way. 908 00:51:22,779 --> 00:51:26,615 There's been so much talk in the last few weeks 909 00:51:26,617 --> 00:51:28,217 About wildcards, 910 00:51:30,387 --> 00:51:31,720 And a lot of the players 911 00:51:31,722 --> 00:51:34,657 Have been playing in the us hardcore tournaments 912 00:51:34,659 --> 00:51:37,460 And weighing in on whether I deserve 913 00:51:37,462 --> 00:51:40,162 To be back in the game and welcomed 914 00:51:40,164 --> 00:51:42,598 With the invitation and wildcards. 915 00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,834 It's been interesting to just be on the side 916 00:51:44,836 --> 00:51:48,204 And not have anything to say about it. 917 00:51:48,206 --> 00:51:51,140 It's not an easy place to be at. 918 00:51:52,309 --> 00:51:55,611 My mission is the first match and the match after that, 919 00:51:55,613 --> 00:51:57,446 And whether it takes me to paris 920 00:51:57,448 --> 00:52:01,117 Or whether it takes me to london, I don't know, 921 00:52:01,119 --> 00:52:02,751 But I hope so. 922 00:52:02,753 --> 00:52:06,522 I really do believe that I deserve to be there 923 00:52:06,524 --> 00:52:09,492 And I deserve to be playing there. 924 00:52:15,532 --> 00:52:18,801 It's been hard and rewarding and challenging, 925 00:52:18,803 --> 00:52:21,303 And all those mixed emotions. 926 00:52:22,606 --> 00:52:26,342 I think to come back for everyone that's surrounded me 927 00:52:26,344 --> 00:52:30,579 In this time, my team, my coach, my parents, my friends, 928 00:52:31,381 --> 00:52:33,315 And I think deep down inside 929 00:52:33,317 --> 00:52:37,553 I have this huge feeling of giving back to them, 930 00:52:38,655 --> 00:52:41,690 Of them seeing me get my career back. 931 00:52:41,692 --> 00:52:44,260 I'm doing it for them, maybe even more 932 00:52:44,262 --> 00:52:46,395 Than I'm doing it for me. 933 00:52:47,797 --> 00:52:49,932 It's how I feel, and it's how they've made me feel. 934 00:52:49,934 --> 00:52:52,535 It's what they've given to me. 935 00:52:52,537 --> 00:52:56,772 There's no way they would never see me on the court again. 936 00:52:57,941 --> 00:53:01,577 I think of being out there, in myself, on the court, 937 00:53:01,579 --> 00:53:05,481 Like, I feel that it's such a big part of my life 938 00:53:05,483 --> 00:53:07,850 And it's such a big stage for me. 939 00:53:10,188 --> 00:53:14,223 I'm a performer, and an audience buys a ticket 940 00:53:14,225 --> 00:53:15,925 To watch me do my job. 941 00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:21,297 And, no matter if I have a good day or a bad day 942 00:53:21,299 --> 00:53:24,600 I'm just excited to have that feeling 943 00:53:24,602 --> 00:53:27,236 Of performing again. 944 00:53:27,238 --> 00:53:29,605 - maria sharapova. 945 00:53:32,309 --> 00:53:33,943 I can only imagine how many people 946 00:53:33,945 --> 00:53:36,946 Will be watching me play on that day. 947 00:53:36,948 --> 00:53:38,881 Whether they love me or hate me, 948 00:53:38,883 --> 00:53:41,850 Respect me or don't respect me, 949 00:53:41,852 --> 00:53:44,320 They're curious, and so am I.