1 00:00:02,805 --> 00:00:06,142 That already, really, is a difficult thing for me 2 00:00:06,226 --> 00:00:09,562 My mother is always like that People are very difficult all their lives. 3 00:00:09,646 --> 00:00:13,441 Very unhappy. I never remember My mother was happy. 4 00:00:13,525 --> 00:00:17,904 And when he gets older, But he is a young person, 5 00:00:18,029 --> 00:00:21,282 I found it now exaggerated and, uh... 6 00:00:21,366 --> 00:00:26,621 So, he, uh, 83 and now is very, very negative, 7 00:00:26,704 --> 00:00:31,000 very very unhappy, and, uh... that has been difficult for me... 8 00:01:01,447 --> 00:01:03,032 Hello, audience. 9 00:01:04,075 --> 00:01:05,869 Thank you for coming. 10 00:01:06,619 --> 00:01:09,664 You are here because you want to laugh... 11 00:01:09,747 --> 00:01:13,126 and you want to forget about your problem 12 00:01:14,043 --> 00:01:15,545 But I can't let it. 13 00:01:16,838 --> 00:01:18,506 You shouldn't laugh. 14 00:01:19,591 --> 00:01:22,385 You can't forget about your problem 15 00:01:24,053 --> 00:01:25,680 This world is not funny. 16 00:01:26,889 --> 00:01:29,434 - We are all dying 17 00:01:29,517 --> 00:01:31,644 This world isn't funny. 18 00:01:32,312 --> 00:01:34,606 Twelve percent of the world's population 19 00:01:34,689 --> 00:01:37,775 do not have access to clean drinking water. 20 00:01:38,860 --> 00:01:40,987 This world is not funny. 21 00:01:41,112 --> 00:01:44,032 Guy Fieri has two functioning restaurants. 22 00:01:44,115 --> 00:01:47,035 - The world isn't funny So then... Now we understand the context, 23 00:01:48,870 --> 00:01:53,374 now we realize how very unfunny the world is... 24 00:01:53,458 --> 00:01:56,711 Let's do it. 25 00:01:57,837 --> 00:01:59,005 The entertainer isn't here to help you. 26 00:02:04,177 --> 00:02:07,347 27 00:02:07,430 --> 00:02:09,307 They are here to control you. 28 00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,851 - Never listen to them 29 00:02:11,935 --> 00:02:14,437 Never give them what they want. 30 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:21,069 And most importantly, never make some damn sounds! 31 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,551 ♫ Women! ♫ 32 00:02:45,635 --> 00:02:48,221 ♫ Women, if you feel me Say, "Hell, yes!" ♫ 33 00:02:48,304 --> 00:02:49,514 Hell, yes! 34 00:02:49,597 --> 00:02:53,267 ♫ Fellas! Come on, fellas If you feel me, say, "Hell, yes!" ♫ 35 00:02:53,351 --> 00:02:54,519 Hell, yes! 36 00:02:54,602 --> 00:02:58,356 ♫ Virgin, if you haven't felt it Say, "Hell, yes!" ♫ 37 00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,524 Hell, yes! 38 00:02:59,607 --> 00:03:03,444 ♫ If you can divide by zero Let me hear you say, "Hell, yes!" ♫ 39 00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:04,529 Hell, yes! 40 00:03:04,612 --> 00:03:06,989 No, you can't. 41 00:03:07,073 --> 00:03:09,450 Mathematically impossible. Listen. 42 00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:11,744 Don't Pavlov. I am looking for the real answer here. 43 00:03:11,828 --> 00:03:14,872 Try collecting information. Let's go. 44 00:03:14,956 --> 00:03:18,459 ♫ If you like to drink liquor Let me hear you say, "Hell, yes!" ♫ 45 00:03:18,543 --> 00:03:19,794 Hell, yes! 46 00:03:19,877 --> 00:03:23,464 ♫ If you like smoking, weeds Let me hear you say, "Hell, yes!" ♫ 47 00:03:23,548 --> 00:03:24,924 Hell, yes! 48 00:03:25,007 --> 00:03:27,635 Gotcha. Get this bastard 49 00:03:27,719 --> 00:03:29,887 Get down on the ground! 50 00:03:29,971 --> 00:03:33,391 Where are weeds 51 00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,059 Yes, We have rooms full of potheads. 52 00:03:35,143 --> 00:03:36,436 We need backups. More. 53 00:03:36,519 --> 00:03:37,520 Psychic! 54 00:03:37,603 --> 00:03:39,022 ♫ If you're not kidding About the law ♫ 55 00:03:39,105 --> 00:03:41,232 ♫ Let me hear you say "Fuck the police" ♫ 56 00:03:41,315 --> 00:03:42,316 Fuck the police. 57 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,777 ♫ If it's too simplified for you Let me hear you say ♫ 58 00:03:44,861 --> 00:03:47,363 ♫ "This is a very difficult job And they do their best" ♫ 59 00:03:47,447 --> 00:03:50,408 ♫ If you don't know anything about the conflict Between Israel and Palestine ♫ 60 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,076 ♫ And thus feeling very uncomfortable ♫ 61 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:53,578 ♫ Weigh on it You've read it ♫ 62 00:03:53,661 --> 00:03:56,456 ♫ Let me hear you say "There are no comments" ♫ 63 00:03:56,539 --> 00:03:57,582 No comments! 64 00:03:57,665 --> 00:04:00,752 Good call I have no idea what happened there 65 00:04:01,753 --> 00:04:03,087 What do they stand for? 66 00:04:04,881 --> 00:04:06,507 They have the same hat. 67 00:04:07,633 --> 00:04:09,302 ♫ If you want to start the show ♫ 68 00:04:09,385 --> 00:04:11,679 ♫ Let me hear you say, "Hell, yes" Come on ♫ 69 00:04:11,763 --> 00:04:13,264 Hell, yes! 70 00:04:13,347 --> 00:04:14,891 ♫ If my name is Bo... ♫ 71 00:04:17,185 --> 00:04:18,770 Oops. 72 00:04:18,853 --> 00:04:21,064 I think you've finished with this call and bad response. 73 00:04:21,856 --> 00:04:23,566 That's what I thought. 74 00:04:23,649 --> 00:04:25,777 If you want me to be introspective, 75 00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:28,404 let's be introspective. 76 00:04:28,488 --> 00:04:31,741 ♫ I can't wrap my mind Exactly why I'm here ♫ 77 00:04:31,824 --> 00:04:35,119 ♫ I know you pay money I have to be funny ♫ 78 00:04:35,203 --> 00:04:38,498 ♫ Besides that Don't know why I'm here ♫ 79 00:04:38,581 --> 00:04:41,459 ♫ To make you laugh, right? It's only half right ♫ 80 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:44,712 ♫ Look at the world I don't know why I'm here ♫ 81 00:04:44,796 --> 00:04:47,924 ♫ All of this laughter can't work Feeding African famine ♫ 82 00:04:48,007 --> 00:04:53,554 ♫ I just hope not Get more from this than you do ♫ 83 00:04:54,597 --> 00:04:59,560 ♫ I want to tell you It's all fine ♫ 84 00:05:01,020 --> 00:05:03,272 ♫ You want to be happy ♫ 85 00:05:03,356 --> 00:05:05,900 ♫ Now, enter the line ♫ 86 00:05:05,983 --> 00:05:09,737 ♫ Yes, this is almost Technically incoherent at this time ♫ 87 00:05:09,862 --> 00:05:12,740 ♫ Y'all never seen a comedy show Like this in your fucking life ♫ 88 00:05:12,824 --> 00:05:14,117 ♫ And for good reason ♫ 89 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,994 - ♫ It's old after a few minutes ♫ 90 00:05:17,078 --> 00:05:18,329 ♫ You will see ♫ 91 00:05:24,293 --> 00:05:25,837 ♫ Let's show this show ♫ 92 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,131 ♫ Let's start this event Okay ♫ 93 00:05:29,674 --> 00:05:30,716 ♫ One, two, three, four ♫ 94 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,885 So I was at the dentist a few days ago... 95 00:05:32,969 --> 00:05:35,221 Yes. 96 00:05:43,729 --> 00:05:44,856 And nothing funny happened, 97 00:05:44,939 --> 00:05:46,941 so I like, "Don't mention it on stage." 98 00:05:49,151 --> 00:05:50,444 I've messed it up. 99 00:05:52,947 --> 00:05:54,031 I love you! 100 00:05:54,115 --> 00:05:55,867 No, you don't. 101 00:05:55,950 --> 00:05:57,827 You don't. 102 00:05:57,910 --> 00:05:59,787 Haters will always hate, lovers will love 103 00:05:59,871 --> 00:06:01,455 You must reject both sides of the spectrum 104 00:06:01,539 --> 00:06:05,084 to leave... healthy middle. 105 00:06:05,167 --> 00:06:07,378 I like your idea! 106 00:06:07,461 --> 00:06:09,755 Stop participating 107 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,341 It's not a participatory thing happens here 108 00:06:13,259 --> 00:06:15,303 Trying to perpetuate something I have worked for a long time. 109 00:06:15,386 --> 00:06:16,637 Shut up! 110 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,308 I haven't... 111 00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:23,561 makes my mind about... 112 00:06:24,562 --> 00:06:27,356 masturbation. Strange and I'm torn. 113 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,817 You know, Because on the one hand, it tastes good. 114 00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:49,503 Don't you think I will use it, idiot? 115 00:06:49,587 --> 00:06:51,839 This is not a prop. 116 00:06:53,716 --> 00:06:55,551 This will be used intermittently. 117 00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:01,098 Guys... I have a lot of problems in my life. 118 00:07:01,182 --> 00:07:03,225 I wrote a song about some problems in my life 119 00:07:03,309 --> 00:07:05,519 I hope some of you can get in touch with him. Let's begin. 120 00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:27,083 ♫ Walking around I don't have anyone to talk to ♫ 121 00:07:27,166 --> 00:07:29,835 ♫ There are everyone ♫ 122 00:07:29,919 --> 00:07:32,964 ♫ And there is only me ♫ 123 00:07:33,047 --> 00:07:38,844 ♫ If I can change Don't you think that I will do it ♫ 124 00:07:38,928 --> 00:07:44,225 ♫ God only knows Why does he curse me to be ♫ 125 00:07:44,308 --> 00:07:47,895 ♫ Straight white people ♫ 126 00:07:50,147 --> 00:07:51,857 ♫ I declare my problem ♫ 127 00:07:51,941 --> 00:07:55,945 ♫ Other people turn their eyes ♫ 128 00:07:56,028 --> 00:07:57,905 ♫ Three trips to the mall ♫ 129 00:07:57,989 --> 00:08:01,993 ♫ Zero khakis in my size ♫ 130 00:08:02,076 --> 00:08:08,040 ♫ I have never been a victim From a random search for medicine ♫ 131 00:08:08,124 --> 00:08:10,918 ♫ But you can't say My life is easy ♫ 132 00:08:11,002 --> 00:08:14,547 ♫ Until you walk a mile in my Uggs ♫ 133 00:08:18,134 --> 00:08:22,096 ♫ Straight white people ♫ 134 00:08:22,179 --> 00:08:26,475 ♫ I know the way looks difficult in front ♫ 135 00:08:27,727 --> 00:08:30,146 ♫ Women want rights ♫ 136 00:08:30,229 --> 00:08:33,691 ♫ Gay people want children ♫ 137 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:36,527 What? 138 00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:39,030 ♫ Can't you leave us alone? ♫ 139 00:08:39,113 --> 00:08:41,782 ♫ And also "No" for the things you ask for ♫ 140 00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:48,164 They are greedy and they know that, okay? 141 00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:11,103 ♫ Everyone thinks that I easily get it ♫ 142 00:09:11,187 --> 00:09:13,939 ♫ And just because it's true ♫ 143 00:09:14,023 --> 00:09:16,692 ♫ Doesn't mean it's true ♫ 144 00:09:16,776 --> 00:09:18,986 ♫ So pull the chair ♫ 145 00:09:19,111 --> 00:09:21,989 ♫ And put your pitchfork ♫ 146 00:09:22,073 --> 00:09:23,949 ♫ Give me a chance ♫ 147 00:09:24,033 --> 00:09:26,535 ♫ To show what it looks like ♫ 148 00:09:26,619 --> 00:09:31,332 ♫ To be a straight white person ♫ 149 00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:37,713 ♫ Churches never made me Feeling ashamed of who I am ♫ 150 00:09:38,714 --> 00:09:44,345 ♫ But I got an email from Zappos Gmail is not marked as spam ♫ 151 00:09:44,428 --> 00:09:50,601 ♫ Constitution of my country Are handwritten by my race ♫ 152 00:09:50,684 --> 00:09:54,397 ♫ But my wife bought me The new iPhone ♫ 153 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,649 ♫ With the case of the iPod Touch ♫ 154 00:09:56,732 --> 00:09:58,567 The case does not match the phone. 155 00:10:01,404 --> 00:10:04,990 ♫ Straight white people ♫ 156 00:10:05,074 --> 00:10:10,579 ♫ I know the way looks difficult in front ♫ 157 00:10:10,663 --> 00:10:13,124 ♫ Women want rights ♫ 158 00:10:13,207 --> 00:10:16,710 ♫ Blacks want Not called "black people" ♫ 159 00:10:18,003 --> 00:10:19,547 Sorry. 160 00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:21,757 ♫ Can't you leave us alone? ♫ 161 00:10:21,841 --> 00:10:24,385 ♫ Also, "no" with the things you ask for ♫ 162 00:10:25,010 --> 00:10:26,887 ♫ No ♫ 163 00:10:51,370 --> 00:10:55,291 ♫ Straight white people ♫ 164 00:10:55,374 --> 00:11:01,672 ♫ I know the way looks difficult in front ♫ 165 00:11:01,755 --> 00:11:04,300 ♫ Women want rights ♫ 166 00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:06,969 ♫ African Amer- ♫ 167 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:13,350 ♫ We used to have all the money and land ♫ 168 00:11:13,434 --> 00:11:16,395 ♫ And we still do it But it's not fun now ♫ 169 00:11:32,828 --> 00:11:36,081 Thank you. 170 00:11:44,089 --> 00:11:47,009 If you are offended by that, is ironic 171 00:11:47,092 --> 00:11:49,053 Isn't that fun? I mean the opposite of that. 172 00:11:49,136 --> 00:11:50,930 White people, easy to be white people. 173 00:11:51,013 --> 00:11:52,056 Yes! 174 00:11:52,139 --> 00:11:56,602 Yes, white people, we deserve... cheering once in a while. 175 00:11:58,354 --> 00:12:00,898 It's easy to be a white person. Very easy. 176 00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:02,900 But white people are and it's not fair, 177 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,568 Because we've done it a lot of things, you know 178 00:12:04,652 --> 00:12:06,111 We found many items. 179 00:12:06,237 --> 00:12:09,782 White people find everything But peanut butter, I believe. 180 00:12:09,865 --> 00:12:12,993 That's what I teach in school. Everything but peanut butter. 181 00:12:13,077 --> 00:12:15,913 Does not sound right, but the American education system 182 00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,081 has racial bias? 183 00:12:17,164 --> 00:12:18,791 Impossible, Joseph. 184 00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:22,795 Guys, white... white people a little uncomfortable 185 00:12:22,878 --> 00:12:24,672 We will do racial jokes about white people 186 00:12:24,755 --> 00:12:26,966 so you don't feel uncomfortable. 187 00:12:27,049 --> 00:12:28,884 White people, We like the same food. 188 00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:31,470 Favorite sandwiches, peanut butter and... 189 00:12:31,553 --> 00:12:32,888 - Jelly! -... Jelly. 190 00:12:32,972 --> 00:12:34,974 - Macaroni and... - Cheese! 191 00:12:35,057 --> 00:12:37,351 Our favorite chip, salt and vi... 192 00:12:37,434 --> 00:12:38,936 -... country! - Wow! 193 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:40,813 Who said 194 00:12:42,982 --> 00:12:44,441 Get a camera on them. 195 00:12:45,985 --> 00:12:47,319 Your grandchildren will see this, 196 00:12:47,444 --> 00:12:50,447 know what is fanatic their grandfather or grandmother 197 00:12:50,531 --> 00:12:52,700 Every person is non-white, see who said that, 198 00:12:52,783 --> 00:12:54,451 find them after the show 199 00:12:56,412 --> 00:12:58,664 Put the lights down. Their faces creep out. 200 00:13:11,844 --> 00:13:14,680 Guys, I'm not "perfect," okay? 201 00:13:14,763 --> 00:13:18,100 I don't "use air quotes correctly," All right? 202 00:13:18,183 --> 00:13:21,770 But I am against double standards across the board. 203 00:13:22,688 --> 00:13:23,731 Why the hell... 204 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,400 that when a woman wears open clothes, 205 00:13:26,483 --> 00:13:27,860 he is labeled a prostitute, 206 00:13:27,943 --> 00:13:30,362 but if I use The skin is like a jacket, 207 00:13:30,446 --> 00:13:31,822 I'm a killer 208 00:13:31,905 --> 00:13:33,615 What? 209 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:37,077 If I make love with a small child, I'm a pedophile, 210 00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:40,205 but if a child fucks me, I'm a pedophile again? 211 00:13:40,289 --> 00:13:43,042 Twice a week What is this? 212 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:44,293 Hey, Bo. 213 00:13:44,376 --> 00:13:45,794 Do you want to sing a song with us? 214 00:13:45,878 --> 00:13:48,464 - good 215 00:13:48,547 --> 00:13:50,591 - It's okay. 216 00:13:50,674 --> 00:13:53,010 - You will find it. 217 00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:55,554 - Hey, Bo, guess what? ♫ 218 00:13:55,637 --> 00:13:57,389 - ♫ You are gay ♫ 219 00:14:14,740 --> 00:14:16,367 Not smart, that only means. 220 00:14:17,451 --> 00:14:19,870 Bigoted. I apologize for that. 221 00:14:19,953 --> 00:14:22,456 So I was bothered a few days ago while my- 222 00:14:22,539 --> 00:14:23,540 Hey, Bo. 223 00:14:23,624 --> 00:14:25,417 - Do you want to sing another song together? 224 00:14:25,501 --> 00:14:27,086 - Very bad. 225 00:14:27,169 --> 00:14:28,545 ♫ Hey, Bo, guess what? ♫ 226 00:14:28,629 --> 00:14:29,922 - Right! 227 00:14:30,005 --> 00:14:31,006 That's not funny. 228 00:14:31,090 --> 00:14:33,884 ♫ You are gay, you are gay You are fucking fag ♫ 229 00:14:33,967 --> 00:14:35,302 ♫ You are gay, you are fucking... ♫ 230 00:14:35,386 --> 00:14:36,595 Can you turn off the lights at least? 231 00:14:36,679 --> 00:14:39,098 ♫ You are gay, you are homo You are fucking fag... ♫ 232 00:14:39,181 --> 00:14:42,101 Is this funny for you? Turn off. Turn off the track! 233 00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:45,688 Why on the record player? 234 00:14:45,771 --> 00:14:49,483 Do you have record players there? Have you installed a recording player? 235 00:15:00,119 --> 00:15:01,745 You know, it's one thing to make that, 236 00:15:01,829 --> 00:15:05,207 but to press it to vinyl is another thing, okay? 237 00:15:08,377 --> 00:15:10,671 Just to be clear, I wrote, conceived and executed 238 00:15:10,754 --> 00:15:11,839 the whole bit. 239 00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:19,847 Look at yourself in Abe Lincoln's chair. 240 00:15:22,683 --> 00:15:24,852 How dare you make that joke so late? 241 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,358 I am a big fan of hip-hop. 242 00:15:31,442 --> 00:15:34,111 Because I like words. I like poetry. 243 00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:37,823 into a short time. 244 00:15:37,906 --> 00:15:40,367 There are artists who still do that Uh... 245 00:15:40,451 --> 00:15:42,745 Yes, Kendrick Lamar, is very word-heavy, very poetic. But- 246 00:15:42,828 --> 00:15:43,829 What are you doing? 247 00:15:43,912 --> 00:15:44,913 Look, this is my show. 248 00:15:49,251 --> 00:15:51,670 Most... most... 249 00:15:51,754 --> 00:15:54,798 Hip-hop artists, for me, and that's for me, hip-hop, 250 00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:05,559 And people lose their mind. 251 00:16:05,642 --> 00:16:07,895 I will give an example. Is there a pain that beats there for me? 252 00:16:07,978 --> 00:16:09,938 Oh, damn it! 253 00:16:14,818 --> 00:16:16,320 ♫ I'm not one of you ♫ 254 00:16:16,403 --> 00:16:19,323 ♫ I'm not a human ♫ 255 00:16:19,406 --> 00:16:21,617 ♫ Do you know who I am? ♫ 256 00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:24,578 ♫ I am a little teapot Short and fat ♫ 257 00:16:24,661 --> 00:16:28,248 ♫ Here's my grip This is my spout ♫ 258 00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:31,210 ♫ When I'm all steamed Then I scream ♫ 259 00:16:31,293 --> 00:16:33,587 ♫ Sing it Tip me up and... ♫ 260 00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:35,380 - Pour me in! - Let's go. 261 00:16:35,464 --> 00:16:38,759 ♫ Pour me Pour me out ♫ 262 00:16:38,842 --> 00:16:41,345 ♫ My tip ends And pour me out ♫ 263 00:16:41,428 --> 00:16:43,847 ♫ Nigga, pour me out ♫ 264 00:16:43,931 --> 00:16:45,682 ♫ Pour me out ♫ 265 00:16:45,766 --> 00:16:48,685 - ♫ My tip and pour me out ♫ 266 00:16:48,769 --> 00:16:52,439 ♫ Baa, baa, black sheep Do you have wool? ♫ 267 00:16:52,523 --> 00:16:55,943 ♫ Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full ♫ 268 00:16:56,026 --> 00:16:59,446 ♫ One for masters, one for dame ♫ 269 00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:02,157 ♫ One for little boys It's down on the track ♫ 270 00:17:02,241 --> 00:17:03,867 - ♫ Baa ♫ ♫ Turn on the path ♫ 271 00:17:03,951 --> 00:17:05,577 - ♫ what? ♫ - ♫ Turn on the track ♫ 272 00:17:05,661 --> 00:17:08,497 Why are there young people? live alone on a small road? 273 00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:11,542 Who signed this boy's contract? 274 00:17:12,584 --> 00:17:14,628 Am I the only one concerned about this little boy? 275 00:17:15,170 --> 00:17:16,713 Two examples are enough. 276 00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:18,048 OK, thank you. 277 00:17:29,726 --> 00:17:32,980 A lower comedian will milk the milk for four verses. 278 00:17:34,398 --> 00:17:37,484 And better comedians won't do everything 279 00:17:37,568 --> 00:17:40,279 I'm right in the sweet spot. 280 00:17:43,282 --> 00:17:44,575 This, uh... 281 00:17:44,658 --> 00:17:49,121 This cannon is worth $ 200, only for that joke 282 00:17:49,204 --> 00:17:52,583 I can give the money to a homeless person, make their day, 283 00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:55,127 and I don't do it often. 284 00:17:55,210 --> 00:17:57,462 That was my first decision every morning. 285 00:17:58,881 --> 00:18:02,342 Not today. No I will do it tomorrow. 286 00:18:02,426 --> 00:18:04,678 Tomorrow comes and today is still there. 287 00:18:04,761 --> 00:18:07,598 Tomorrow is a relative term. We didn't get there. 288 00:18:07,681 --> 00:18:09,641 Annie 289 00:18:17,816 --> 00:18:20,319 Fuck you 290 00:18:20,402 --> 00:18:21,945 You don't know my purpose. Don't act like that. 291 00:18:22,029 --> 00:18:23,280 You are not in front of me 292 00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:26,283 I will maintain the element of surprise. 293 00:18:31,246 --> 00:18:32,915 I tried to improve my improvisation. 294 00:18:33,957 --> 00:18:36,793 My performance is very planned, uh, for words. 295 00:18:36,877 --> 00:18:38,420 You know, to give a signal. 296 00:18:38,503 --> 00:18:40,547 And I try to get out of it. 297 00:18:41,673 --> 00:18:44,343 I want to make something new for each show, 298 00:18:44,426 --> 00:18:45,928 only a few people can experience it. 299 00:18:46,011 --> 00:18:47,679 - what's your name, man - Robbery. 300 00:18:47,763 --> 00:18:48,931 Robbery? OK. 301 00:18:49,014 --> 00:18:50,682 I will try to make a song about Rob... 302 00:18:50,766 --> 00:18:54,353 from above my head This might not work. 303 00:18:54,436 --> 00:18:57,189 Um, it's just... This is to keep me sharp, try... 304 00:18:57,272 --> 00:18:58,815 I am stalling for a while, trying to think of Rob's poem. 305 00:18:58,899 --> 00:19:00,484 Not fair. Good. 306 00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:02,069 Songs about Rob Press track 307 00:19:04,112 --> 00:19:05,322 Fuck. 308 00:19:07,157 --> 00:19:08,492 ♫ Bo has sex with... ♫ 309 00:19:08,575 --> 00:19:09,785 - ♫ Rob's... ♫ - ♫ Mother ♫ 310 00:19:09,868 --> 00:19:11,078 ♫ Bo has sex with... ♫ 311 00:19:11,161 --> 00:19:12,537 - ♫ Rob's... ♫ - ♫ Mother ♫ 312 00:19:12,621 --> 00:19:14,331 Bo, I heard you had sex with an older woman last night. 313 00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,749 I do it. 314 00:19:15,832 --> 00:19:17,042 - What's the name of his child? 315 00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:19,252 - ♫ Bo has sex with... ♫ 316 00:19:19,336 --> 00:19:20,504 - ♫ Rob's... ♫ - ♫ Mother ♫ 317 00:19:20,587 --> 00:19:21,588 ♫ Bo has sex with... ♫ 318 00:19:21,672 --> 00:19:22,714 - ♫ Rob's... ♫ - ♫ Mother ♫ 319 00:19:22,798 --> 00:19:25,550 ♫ I fuck her for an hour Then leave when I'm done ♫ 320 00:19:25,634 --> 00:19:28,095 ♫ Because fucking is a game And Rob is his son ♫ 321 00:19:28,178 --> 00:19:31,306 Do we plan that? We don't plan it. 322 00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:33,934 How did he do it? 323 00:19:34,017 --> 00:19:36,770 How does he pretend to do it? How did he keep being made? 324 00:19:36,853 --> 00:19:39,398 I'm not... I'm not honest for the second here! 325 00:19:40,732 --> 00:19:42,693 Honesty is for birds, honey. 326 00:19:44,361 --> 00:19:47,489 You want an honest comedian, go see the rest of them, okay? 327 00:19:48,490 --> 00:19:50,283 "This really happened." 328 00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:52,452 Cool. 329 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,627 What Wow, oh, boy. 330 00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:03,797 Are there big country music fans out there? 331 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,258 Yes. 332 00:20:06,341 --> 00:20:09,344 Ooh, some people extended my name. "Boo," that's also an agreement. 333 00:20:09,428 --> 00:20:11,054 Uh, I think... 334 00:20:11,138 --> 00:20:12,806 I think country music... 335 00:20:13,974 --> 00:20:15,559 gets a bad reputation 336 00:20:15,642 --> 00:20:17,811 You know, why is that? when Bruce Springsteen 337 00:20:17,894 --> 00:20:20,188 Singing about that damn shortcut is art, 338 00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:22,107 and then when someone sings about a horse, 339 00:20:22,190 --> 00:20:24,443 it's mute inherently I don't think... 340 00:20:24,526 --> 00:20:27,154 I think some of the greatest songwriters All time is a country artist. 341 00:20:27,237 --> 00:20:29,072 Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson... Do you know? 342 00:20:29,156 --> 00:20:31,408 And if you write honestly, it is art 343 00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:33,952 And I will never bash it. Um, the problem is... 344 00:20:34,911 --> 00:20:39,541 with a lot of modern country music, what is called a country music stadium, 345 00:20:39,624 --> 00:20:42,544 type of brand Keith Urban country music, 346 00:20:42,627 --> 00:20:44,671 is that it's dishonest 347 00:20:44,755 --> 00:20:47,174 This is the opposite of being honest. 348 00:20:47,257 --> 00:20:49,468 Where are not people Actually tell their story, 349 00:20:49,551 --> 00:20:51,553 You have a lot of metrosexual millionaires 350 00:20:51,636 --> 00:20:53,430 that has never been done days of hard work in their lives, 351 00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:56,808 But they know the words and expressions they can use 352 00:20:56,892 --> 00:20:58,226 to spoil their audience, 353 00:20:58,310 --> 00:21:00,729 and they include the same words and phrases off, 354 00:21:00,812 --> 00:21:03,023 some kind of crazy-lib style in every song, 355 00:21:03,106 --> 00:21:07,027 collect millions of dollars from actual working class people. 356 00:21:07,110 --> 00:21:08,653 You know the words. You know the expression. 357 00:21:08,737 --> 00:21:09,905 Phrases like... 358 00:21:11,031 --> 00:21:13,950 ♫ Roads of land, cold beer ♫ 359 00:21:14,034 --> 00:21:17,079 ♫ Blue jeans, red pickups ♫ 360 00:21:17,162 --> 00:21:20,373 ♫ Rural nouns, simple adjectives ♫ 361 00:21:22,876 --> 00:21:25,962 ♫ There are no shoes, no clothes ♫ 362 00:21:26,046 --> 00:21:29,341 ♫ There are no Jews You don't hear it ♫ 363 00:21:31,384 --> 00:21:33,428 A kind of mental typo. 364 00:21:35,263 --> 00:21:38,058 ♫ I walk and talk like a field hand ♫ 365 00:21:38,141 --> 00:21:41,478 ♫ But the shoes I wear Cost three thousand ♫ 366 00:21:41,561 --> 00:21:44,773 ♫ I wrote songs about riding a tractor ♫ 367 00:21:44,856 --> 00:21:46,608 ♫ From the comfort of a private jet ♫ 368 00:21:46,691 --> 00:21:49,861 ♫ I can sing in Mandarin ♫ 369 00:21:49,945 --> 00:21:52,906 ♫ You still know I'm pandering ♫ 370 00:21:52,989 --> 00:21:55,742 ♫ Hunting deer, chasing trout ♫ 371 00:21:55,826 --> 00:21:58,745 ♫ Bud lights with the logo facing out ♫ 372 00:21:58,829 --> 00:22:02,082 ♫ Listen to smooth mandolin ♫ 373 00:22:02,165 --> 00:22:05,293 ♫ That's a pandering book ♫ 374 00:22:05,377 --> 00:22:08,296 ♫ I have a private farm That I rarely use ♫ 375 00:22:09,214 --> 00:22:10,715 I don't like dirt. 376 00:22:10,799 --> 00:22:13,760 One verse, one choir in the bag. 377 00:22:13,844 --> 00:22:16,304 Now it's time to talk with women. 378 00:22:16,388 --> 00:22:21,726 I wish my bedspread south charm all the rape of this rape I took out. 379 00:22:22,978 --> 00:22:25,647 ♫ A good girl with a straw hat ♫ 380 00:22:25,730 --> 00:22:29,401 ♫ With his hand in the cornfield ♫ 381 00:22:29,484 --> 00:22:31,570 ♫ That is a scarecrow ♫ 382 00:22:33,113 --> 00:22:34,906 Think it's a human woman. Sorry. 383 00:22:34,990 --> 00:22:37,951 ♫ A cold night, cold beer ♫ 384 00:22:38,034 --> 00:22:41,288 ♫ A cool jeans Strike the last one ♫ 385 00:22:41,371 --> 00:22:44,749 ♫ I want you I hope you feel me ♫ 386 00:22:44,833 --> 00:22:46,960 Subtextually. 387 00:22:47,043 --> 00:22:50,547 ♫ We sleep You fall asleep ♫ 388 00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:53,258 ♫ So I brought your country girl Clothes ♫ 389 00:22:53,341 --> 00:22:55,594 ♫ I put my hand on your body ♫ 390 00:22:55,677 --> 00:22:58,597 ♫ It feels like straw It's a scarecrow again ♫ 391 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,683 ♫ Like Mike Evander-ing ♫ 392 00:23:01,766 --> 00:23:04,811 ♫ Lose your ears, I pandering ♫ 393 00:23:04,895 --> 00:23:07,439 ♫ I write songs for people who do ♫ 394 00:23:07,522 --> 00:23:10,692 ♫ Job in town That I will never move to ♫ 395 00:23:10,775 --> 00:23:13,987 ♫ legalize gerrymandering ♫ 396 00:23:14,112 --> 00:23:16,907 ♫ My pandering tolerance ♫ 397 00:23:16,990 --> 00:23:18,575 ♫ You have a beautiful mouth ♫ 398 00:23:18,658 --> 00:23:20,076 ♫ I'm beautiful... ♫ 399 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,537 You bastard bastard want to change the key? 400 00:23:22,621 --> 00:23:25,415 ♫ Grouping thematically ♫ 401 00:23:25,498 --> 00:23:28,877 ♫ Passing pandering ♫ 402 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,671 ♫ I hold onto my demo ball ♫ 403 00:23:31,755 --> 00:23:35,216 ♫ Say the word "truck" They hiss in their overalls ♫ 404 00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:37,302 ♫ You don't know what your land is in ♫ 405 00:23:38,011 --> 00:23:41,222 ♫ I am on the land of pandering ♫ 406 00:23:41,306 --> 00:23:42,891 ♫ And I will be upfront ♫ 407 00:23:43,725 --> 00:23:50,190 ♫ I did what I did Because I'm a total fucking boy ♫ 408 00:24:03,244 --> 00:24:06,581 You know, like, that genre. 409 00:24:06,665 --> 00:24:08,667 They lie to you. That is all. 410 00:24:08,750 --> 00:24:10,502 They lie... 411 00:24:10,585 --> 00:24:13,129 Comforters, they lie and they manipulate you. 412 00:24:13,213 --> 00:24:16,424 And that's not a good way. It's like advertising. You deserve better. 413 00:24:16,508 --> 00:24:17,634 I don't say that, 414 00:24:17,717 --> 00:24:19,052 but I'm the one who says you deserve better. 415 00:24:19,135 --> 00:24:22,097 You go better You say, "Thank you, freak. See you later." 416 00:24:25,225 --> 00:24:27,769 The Tonight Show, 417 00:24:27,852 --> 00:24:30,313 This is the end of culture. 418 00:24:30,397 --> 00:24:32,941 Culture ends, everyone. We lost 419 00:24:34,317 --> 00:24:37,487 This is entertainment. What is this entertainment? 420 00:24:37,612 --> 00:24:38,863 The person we see is too much 421 00:24:38,947 --> 00:24:41,658 utter the song we have heard too much 422 00:24:41,741 --> 00:24:44,035 And this is the bread and butter of American television And that's always one of two things on celebrity lip-syncing. 423 00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,621 These are celebrity male celebrities for female songs... 424 00:24:46,705 --> 00:24:50,291 "But he doesn't..." 425 00:24:50,375 --> 00:24:52,377 Or rich and rich white actress 426 00:24:52,460 --> 00:24:57,465 Ironically lip-syncing to hip-hop songs. 427 00:24:57,549 --> 00:25:00,760 ♫ Fuck the police Come directly from underground ♫ 428 00:25:00,844 --> 00:25:03,221 Can you trust this song? 429 00:25:03,304 --> 00:25:04,305 Ever been an honest articulation class struggle? 430 00:25:04,389 --> 00:25:07,892 Fuck these people. 431 00:25:07,976 --> 00:25:09,185 How dare they think that they are fucking around 432 00:25:09,269 --> 00:25:11,021 433 00:25:11,104 --> 00:25:12,731 what are you worth paying attention to? 434 00:25:12,814 --> 00:25:15,608 They play Pictionary? Your attention is valuable. 435 00:25:15,692 --> 00:25:18,111 I worked for three years to get it for one hour 436 00:25:18,194 --> 00:25:19,237 And I almost got there. 437 00:25:20,655 --> 00:25:22,866 See? 438 00:25:25,118 --> 00:25:26,995 I see beautiful... 439 00:25:28,329 --> 00:25:31,291 dick I was in a public toilet. 440 00:25:31,374 --> 00:25:32,667 Some people might be like me. 441 00:25:32,751 --> 00:25:34,669 I can't use urinal When there is a guy next to me. 442 00:25:34,753 --> 00:25:36,421 I froze. So I have to use a shop. 443 00:25:36,504 --> 00:25:39,799 In this case, all stalls are taken. I have to use a urinal. 444 00:25:39,883 --> 00:25:42,677 There is a man beside me. I saw a little. 445 00:25:44,929 --> 00:25:46,556 You don't imagine this. OK. 446 00:26:19,923 --> 00:26:22,008 A little is over. I'm not talking to his penis now. 447 00:26:22,092 --> 00:26:23,510 I don't tear his penis. 448 00:26:23,593 --> 00:26:26,346 And I am now not talking into dick breaking. 449 00:26:26,429 --> 00:26:28,765 The show is a series of discrete bits. 450 00:26:30,350 --> 00:26:31,559 Which is over 451 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,063 God, if you don't get it... 452 00:26:48,243 --> 00:26:50,370 Reset the momentum. 453 00:26:50,453 --> 00:26:52,622 I can't slide from the inertia of past jokes. 454 00:26:54,582 --> 00:26:55,875 Need to get it. 455 00:26:57,210 --> 00:26:58,753 Every bit must come out of a vacuum, huh? 456 00:27:04,259 --> 00:27:05,718 We all want love. 457 00:27:07,428 --> 00:27:10,473 How many single women out there look for love tonight 458 00:27:10,557 --> 00:27:13,268 What 459 00:27:13,351 --> 00:27:16,354 Yes. "Whoo" that sadness. 460 00:27:17,397 --> 00:27:19,232 Where else does it come from. 461 00:27:21,943 --> 00:27:23,695 Ladies, I know what you want. 462 00:27:24,988 --> 00:27:26,281 Want. 463 00:27:27,448 --> 00:27:28,658 Want. 464 00:27:30,785 --> 00:27:33,163 ♫ You want a cute guy A tough guy ♫ 465 00:27:33,246 --> 00:27:35,582 ♫ A feminist who likes to pay for things ♫ 466 00:27:35,665 --> 00:27:37,125 ♫ kinda people who get along with your friends ♫ 467 00:27:37,208 --> 00:27:39,711 ♫ Without being interested in one of them ♫ 468 00:27:39,794 --> 00:27:42,422 ♫ Good boys, bad boys, good bad boys ♫ 469 00:27:42,505 --> 00:27:44,382 ♫ Half-half children are half-cooked, half-bad ♫ 470 00:27:44,465 --> 00:27:46,217 ♫ Love your brother Sensitive but not weak ♫ 471 00:27:46,301 --> 00:27:49,053 ♫ And a great lover Your mother's call on the weekend ♫ 472 00:27:49,137 --> 00:27:55,059 ♫ Even though you might think That this person is only in your mind ♫ 473 00:27:55,894 --> 00:27:57,562 ♫ But guess what? ♫ 474 00:27:58,146 --> 00:27:59,314 ♫ You are right ♫ 475 00:27:59,397 --> 00:28:01,608 ♫ If you want love ♫ 476 00:28:02,609 --> 00:28:05,320 ♫ Lower your expectations some ♫ 477 00:28:05,403 --> 00:28:08,239 ♫ Because Prince is Charming Will never be satisfied with you ♫ 478 00:28:08,323 --> 00:28:11,743 ♫ If you want love ♫ 479 00:28:11,826 --> 00:28:14,245 ♫ Just choose a guy and love him ♫ 480 00:28:14,329 --> 00:28:15,914 ♫ And if he has something for the feet ♫ 481 00:28:15,997 --> 00:28:18,041 ♫ Say the fuck, sweep me from them ♫ 482 00:28:18,124 --> 00:28:19,167 Now... 483 00:28:20,335 --> 00:28:22,170 the good thing is that, uh... 484 00:28:24,047 --> 00:28:27,091 At least men are very realistic hope for women... 485 00:28:28,301 --> 00:28:32,847 he said, sarcastically prepared it a second verse in a comedy song. 486 00:28:35,391 --> 00:28:37,852 ♫ You want a nice girl A girl who doesn't ♫ 487 00:28:37,936 --> 00:28:40,021 ♫ obsessed with his appearance But it's very hot ♫ 488 00:28:40,104 --> 00:28:41,856 ♫ The type of girl you can Show your parents ♫ 489 00:28:41,940 --> 00:28:44,692 ♫ Love the movie you like And always laugh at your jokes ♫ 490 00:28:44,776 --> 00:28:46,778 ♫ Real girl, hot girl, Very sexy girl ♫ 491 00:28:46,861 --> 00:28:48,947 ♫ A new real doll that is so cool ♫ 492 00:28:49,030 --> 00:28:51,074 ♫ Want to impress you Don't care if you pay attention ♫ 493 00:28:51,157 --> 00:28:54,077 ♫ And only ever using you tickling his throat with ♫ 494 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:59,582 ♫ Even though you might think that this girl is only in your mind ♫ 495 00:29:00,667 --> 00:29:04,170 ♫ But he's real But last week, he died ♫ 496 00:29:04,254 --> 00:29:07,131 ♫ If you want love ♫ 497 00:29:07,215 --> 00:29:09,842 ♫ Lower your hopes a lot ♫ 498 00:29:09,926 --> 00:29:13,263 ♫ You might think your penis is a gift I promise it's not ♫ 499 00:29:13,346 --> 00:29:16,266 - ♫ If you want love ♫ 500 00:29:16,349 --> 00:29:18,309 ♫ Just choose a girl and love her ♫ 501 00:29:18,393 --> 00:29:22,605 ♫ Then whip your penism and Let the girl you love reject the offer ♫ 502 00:29:22,689 --> 00:29:25,608 ♫ I don't want neat freaks I don't want to slob ♫ 503 00:29:25,692 --> 00:29:27,986 ♫ Someone with bedhead And a dead end job ♫ 504 00:29:28,069 --> 00:29:31,614 ♫ Because I won't be satisfied with less ♫ 505 00:29:31,698 --> 00:29:33,116 ♫ from perfect ♫ 506 00:29:33,199 --> 00:29:36,119 ♫ We want perfect children Perfect life ♫ 507 00:29:36,202 --> 00:29:39,122 ♫ Perfect husband or perfect wife ♫ 508 00:29:39,205 --> 00:29:41,165 ♫ But deep down, we know ♫ 509 00:29:41,249 --> 00:29:43,626 ♫ We don't deserve it ♫ 510 00:29:47,130 --> 00:29:48,131 ♫ But ♫ 511 00:29:49,757 --> 00:29:55,555 ♫ We all deserve to be loved ♫ 512 00:29:55,638 --> 00:29:59,017 ♫ Even in the days If we are not the best ♫ 513 00:29:59,100 --> 00:30:00,518 ♫ Because we all suck ♫ 514 00:30:00,602 --> 00:30:03,021 ♫ But love can make us less sucking ♫ 515 00:30:03,104 --> 00:30:07,233 ♫ We all deserve to be loved ♫ 516 00:30:07,317 --> 00:30:10,945 ♫ This is the best part of life ♫ 517 00:30:12,030 --> 00:30:17,160 ♫ And I will know I just turned 25 ♫ 518 00:30:19,370 --> 00:30:20,455 It's still young. 519 00:30:56,824 --> 00:30:58,951 Original doesn't mean good. 520 00:31:00,745 --> 00:31:02,372 Anyone can do anything 521 00:31:03,581 --> 00:31:04,832 Don't let me release it too easily. 522 00:31:04,916 --> 00:31:08,127 ♫ War, yes, God, yes ♫ 523 00:31:08,211 --> 00:31:10,254 ♫ What's the point? ♫ 524 00:31:10,338 --> 00:31:12,298 ♫ Increasing domestic manufacturing ♫ 525 00:31:12,382 --> 00:31:14,759 OK. Uh... 526 00:31:14,842 --> 00:31:15,885 I don't want politics 527 00:31:15,968 --> 00:31:19,263 Because I only know my own ideas about other people's ideas. 528 00:31:21,391 --> 00:31:23,685 We just played in Alabama. They are like lights. 529 00:31:23,768 --> 00:31:26,729 I don't even need to make a joke. 530 00:31:26,813 --> 00:31:29,273 "Motherfucker is lighting a candle." 531 00:31:29,357 --> 00:31:32,652 No, not enough. 532 00:31:32,777 --> 00:31:35,822 Alabama is really good. You are elitist deaf 533 00:31:35,905 --> 00:31:37,782 Isn't that fun? 534 00:31:41,536 --> 00:31:44,872 Yes, you like that 535 00:31:49,836 --> 00:31:53,047 And now... 536 00:31:53,131 --> 00:31:57,051 what makes peanut butter and jelly sandwich feels like 537 00:31:57,135 --> 00:31:59,887 when you are tall marijuana 538 00:32:56,903 --> 00:32:58,654 And now... 539 00:32:58,738 --> 00:33:02,074 what makes peanut butter and jelly sandwich feel like... 540 00:33:03,117 --> 00:33:04,744 when you have a bad face. 541 00:34:21,612 --> 00:34:23,573 Hey, honey, I'm home. 542 00:34:26,534 --> 00:34:29,370 - Honey, you're fine What's wrong? 543 00:34:29,453 --> 00:34:30,705 Are you drunk? 544 00:34:30,788 --> 00:34:32,331 Have you already... You have been drinking, haven't you? 545 00:34:32,415 --> 00:34:34,417 You already fuck... You are wasted, not... 546 00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:35,501 - I can't hear you 547 00:34:35,585 --> 00:34:37,670 Talk to the microphone. 548 00:34:37,753 --> 00:34:38,921 I'm not 549 00:34:39,005 --> 00:34:41,340 What's behind your back? What are you holding behind your back? 550 00:34:41,424 --> 00:34:42,425 - only... 551 00:34:42,508 --> 00:34:44,635 - Don't do it - 552 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,971 What is that... what are you hiding behind you? Just show 553 00:34:47,054 --> 00:34:49,932 This is peanut butter jam, okay? Demands me. 554 00:34:50,016 --> 00:34:52,518 That mayonnaise. That is a mayonnaise jar. 555 00:34:52,602 --> 00:34:55,062 It's not peanut butter. Why are you holding a mayonnaise jar? 556 00:34:55,146 --> 00:34:56,647 Why are you holding a mayonnaise jar? 557 00:34:56,731 --> 00:34:58,482 I don't hold a bottle of mayonnaise. 558 00:34:58,566 --> 00:35:00,026 - Do you know what? 559 00:35:00,109 --> 00:35:01,319 I'm fucking done with this crap, okay? 560 00:35:01,402 --> 00:35:02,486 I have to get up at 5:00 a. m. 561 00:35:02,570 --> 00:35:03,946 - I have to work at 6:00. 562 00:35:04,030 --> 00:35:05,781 I had a tiring day. 563 00:35:05,865 --> 00:35:07,825 I just want to go home, relax, relax, 564 00:35:07,909 --> 00:35:10,703 and I go home messy that I have to clean- 565 00:35:10,786 --> 00:35:13,372 - No no! I have to clean it. 566 00:35:13,456 --> 00:35:15,750 Because you will make things worse If you try, okay? 567 00:35:15,833 --> 00:35:17,084 - Do you know what? 568 00:35:17,168 --> 00:35:18,669 I've finished doing this. 569 00:35:18,753 --> 00:35:19,754 - You are very mature 570 00:35:19,837 --> 00:35:21,213 - I can't leave you alone 571 00:35:21,297 --> 00:35:22,882 without you damn. 572 00:35:22,965 --> 00:35:25,426 This is what I faced Monday to... 573 00:35:25,509 --> 00:35:27,887 - Who are you talking to now? 574 00:35:28,888 --> 00:35:30,556 You only signal to the sink. 575 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,184 - What does that mean? 576 00:35:33,267 --> 00:35:34,810 Okay, what do you know? This bit is getting more 577 00:35:34,894 --> 00:35:36,896 a little too strange and meta. Okay, we're done with that. 578 00:35:36,979 --> 00:35:38,356 I agree. Where is it? 579 00:35:38,439 --> 00:35:40,316 Sometimes you don't write a bit, so you just skip it 580 00:35:40,399 --> 00:35:41,776 Before they know it, you go to the next thing. 581 00:35:41,859 --> 00:35:43,444 Guys, I was in the shop recently. 582 00:35:43,527 --> 00:35:45,863 And, uh, no, I will save your time. 583 00:35:47,865 --> 00:35:49,158 I buy something 584 00:35:51,452 --> 00:35:54,288 No no no no No. 585 00:35:54,372 --> 00:35:55,957 Sit in silence. 586 00:35:58,417 --> 00:36:00,127 Do you know what continuity error? 587 00:36:00,211 --> 00:36:02,088 That's where in one shot there is one way, 588 00:36:02,171 --> 00:36:03,881 In another shot it's another way. Do you know these things? 589 00:36:03,965 --> 00:36:06,425 However... 590 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,391 This comedy show is brought to you in part by... 591 00:36:13,474 --> 00:36:15,434 -... Flamin 'Hot Cheetos. 592 00:36:15,518 --> 00:36:19,021 ♫ Flamin 'Hot Cheetos ♫ 593 00:36:19,105 --> 00:36:21,899 ♫ They are like ordinary Cheetos But they are flamin 'hot ♫ 594 00:36:21,983 --> 00:36:24,360 ♫ Normal cheetos are for pussies ♫ 595 00:36:24,485 --> 00:36:26,237 ♫ But Flamin 'Cheetos isn't ♫ 596 00:36:27,321 --> 00:36:28,614 ♫ For pussies, it's ♫ 597 00:36:28,698 --> 00:36:30,658 They don't sponsor me. I'm just trying to get it. 598 00:36:30,741 --> 00:36:34,370 They don't return my call. 599 00:36:36,163 --> 00:36:38,332 Evasionvely cheesy more like that. 600 00:36:40,668 --> 00:36:42,503 Mmm. Label-less water. 601 00:36:44,046 --> 00:36:46,132 Nothing feels better than not being sued. 602 00:36:47,508 --> 00:36:48,676 I, uh... 603 00:36:49,552 --> 00:36:51,095 I don't love my fans. 604 00:36:52,138 --> 00:36:54,598 I have to be... Not me. You don't want that... 605 00:36:54,682 --> 00:36:58,019 You don't want the desperate, sort of nauseating things from entertainers. 606 00:36:58,102 --> 00:37:00,354 "My fans, oh, they stay with me through everything, 607 00:37:00,438 --> 00:37:02,857 through thick and thin. " Don't stick with me through thick. 608 00:37:02,940 --> 00:37:04,984 If I stop entertaining you, throw me to the curb 609 00:37:05,067 --> 00:37:07,528 You won't stick with your mechanic if he stops repairing your car 610 00:37:07,611 --> 00:37:10,322 I am in the service industry. I just paid more, okay? 611 00:37:10,406 --> 00:37:12,700 And a lot... 612 00:37:12,783 --> 00:37:14,785 I feel many artists, especially pop artists, 613 00:37:14,869 --> 00:37:16,787 sort of a violation of... 614 00:37:16,871 --> 00:37:20,082 responsibilities that are not theirs, in terms of their audience, 615 00:37:20,166 --> 00:37:23,461 keep their audience on an emotional level. 616 00:37:23,544 --> 00:37:25,421 Some of you may be sad and through things. 617 00:37:25,504 --> 00:37:27,298 I feel for it. Life is hard. 618 00:37:27,381 --> 00:37:29,759 I won't fix it with a song. 619 00:37:29,842 --> 00:37:33,054 Like "Brave" or "Roar." You know it's inspirational... 620 00:37:33,137 --> 00:37:34,472 What I'm trying to say... 621 00:37:35,473 --> 00:37:39,143 are you not listening to songs... like this. 622 00:37:39,226 --> 00:37:41,479 - ♫ Have you ever felt sad or lonely? ♫ 623 00:37:41,562 --> 00:37:43,564 ♫ Do you even feel two feet tall? ♫ 624 00:37:43,647 --> 00:37:44,774 ♫ Have you ever thought ♫ 625 00:37:44,857 --> 00:37:47,735 ♫ "Humans, if only I am someone else at all"? ♫ 626 00:37:47,860 --> 00:37:52,239 ♫ They like to kick you When is the time to be rude ♫ 627 00:37:52,323 --> 00:37:55,701 ♫ Then you give it all But it's not enough ♫ 628 00:37:55,785 --> 00:37:59,622 ♫ And sticks and stones Maybe your bones break ♫ 629 00:37:59,705 --> 00:38:04,210 ♫ But words can destroy your heart ♫ 630 00:38:04,293 --> 00:38:08,172 ♫ But if you don't know where to go ♫ 631 00:38:08,255 --> 00:38:12,426 ♫ I will show you where to start ♫ 632 00:38:12,510 --> 00:38:14,970 - ♫ suicide ♫ 633 00:38:15,054 --> 00:38:18,099 ♫ This will only take a while And you will be glad that you did it ♫ 634 00:38:18,182 --> 00:38:20,726 ♫ Just go to your oven And push your head into it ♫ 635 00:38:20,810 --> 00:38:23,020 ♫ suicide ♫ 636 00:38:23,104 --> 00:38:26,107 ♫ Really, you have to do it There's nothing for that ♫ 637 00:38:26,190 --> 00:38:28,984 ♫ Just take a cup And add a cup of mild liquid ♫ 638 00:38:29,068 --> 00:38:30,903 Good. Now... 639 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,283 I feel like you're backing down. 640 00:38:37,576 --> 00:38:39,870 Maybe it's because of the fact I say 641 00:38:39,954 --> 00:38:42,623 to commit suicide again and again. 642 00:38:42,706 --> 00:38:44,792 I'm just trying to make a simple point. 643 00:38:44,875 --> 00:38:50,381 That this... It's the hardest life Problems don't have simple answers. 644 00:38:50,464 --> 00:38:52,758 You should not only be brave. You shouldn't just roar. 645 00:38:52,842 --> 00:38:54,635 You shouldn't kill yourself. 646 00:38:54,718 --> 00:38:57,221 But I understand that... 647 00:38:57,304 --> 00:39:00,641 It's a sensitive topic and you Maybe just heard me say that. 648 00:39:00,724 --> 00:39:03,561 And I've dealt with... I don't want to be... Look. 649 00:39:03,644 --> 00:39:05,855 ♫ I sound not empathetic ♫ 650 00:39:05,938 --> 00:39:07,690 ♫ I sound rude and rude ♫ 651 00:39:07,773 --> 00:39:09,441 ♫ Suicide is an epidemic ♫ 652 00:39:09,525 --> 00:39:12,111 ♫ And I don't want to be misunderstood ♫ 653 00:39:12,194 --> 00:39:16,073 ♫ Signs of depression are forgotten ♫ 654 00:39:16,157 --> 00:39:17,825 ♫ So if you experience depression ♫ 655 00:39:17,908 --> 00:39:21,120 ♫ Then you need to order Therapy sessions ♫ 656 00:39:21,203 --> 00:39:23,372 ♫ Talk about your depression ♫ 657 00:39:23,455 --> 00:39:27,459 ♫ And let a professional hear it ♫ 658 00:39:27,543 --> 00:39:31,839 ♫ But if you are looking for moral wisdom ♫ 659 00:39:31,922 --> 00:39:36,135 ♫ In Katy Perry's lyrics, then ♫ 660 00:39:36,218 --> 00:39:38,762 - ♫ suicide ♫ 661 00:39:38,846 --> 00:39:41,891 ♫ This won't hurt If you can afford ♫ 662 00:39:41,974 --> 00:39:44,185 ♫ To give a little kiss To the speeding train ♫ 663 00:39:44,268 --> 00:39:46,270 ♫ You will kill yourself ♫ 664 00:39:46,353 --> 00:39:48,272 ♫ It's over, consider it ♫ 665 00:39:48,355 --> 00:39:49,940 ♫ There is a trigger, pull ♫ 666 00:39:50,024 --> 00:39:52,067 ♫ Get through your head "That" becomes a bullet ♫ 667 00:39:52,151 --> 00:39:54,320 ♫ Stick your tongue on the plug ♫ 668 00:39:54,403 --> 00:39:56,530 ♫ Sucking the exhaust pipe ♫ 669 00:39:56,614 --> 00:39:58,407 ♫ Make toast in the bathtub ♫ 670 00:39:58,490 --> 00:40:00,451 ♫ Fucked yourself on a cross ♫ 671 00:40:00,534 --> 00:40:02,453 ♫ Hold your breath until it's gone ♫ 672 00:40:02,536 --> 00:40:04,622 ♫ Drink a gallon of Mace ♫ 673 00:40:04,705 --> 00:40:06,207 ♫ Be gay in Iran ♫ 674 00:40:06,290 --> 00:40:08,876 - ♫ Let Oprah sit on your face ♫ 675 00:40:08,959 --> 00:40:10,377 ♫ Jumping off the bridge ♫ 676 00:40:10,461 --> 00:40:12,129 ♫ Dip the skin in the flood ♫ 677 00:40:12,213 --> 00:40:14,340 ♫ Skydive sticks to the fridge ♫ 678 00:40:14,423 --> 00:40:16,675 ♫ Drinking the blood of Haitians ♫ 679 00:40:16,759 --> 00:40:18,344 ♫ Enter the zoo ♫ 680 00:40:18,427 --> 00:40:20,304 ♫ Give the tiger a boost ♫ 681 00:40:20,387 --> 00:40:22,473 ♫ Eat Phillips-head screw ♫ 682 00:40:22,556 --> 00:40:26,560 - ♫ Marrying with Courtney Love ♫ 683 00:40:26,644 --> 00:40:28,145 Sorry. 684 00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:41,033 Don't kill yourself. 685 00:40:41,116 --> 00:40:43,327 I don't like explaining jokes that... 686 00:40:43,410 --> 00:40:45,204 A joke where I tell everyone to commit suicide 687 00:40:45,287 --> 00:40:48,249 It might be worthy of an explanation. No! 688 00:40:49,875 --> 00:40:51,835 And if you are offended, don't write a blog 689 00:40:51,919 --> 00:40:55,506 I apologize immediately Sorry! Immediately! 690 00:40:58,842 --> 00:41:00,511 What 691 00:41:00,594 --> 00:41:02,263 What is that, Mom? 692 00:41:02,346 --> 00:41:05,349 What do you say? This is your time Who said 693 00:41:05,432 --> 00:41:06,976 Take off your pants! 694 00:41:11,230 --> 00:41:13,899 Don't benchmark me, okay? 695 00:41:15,192 --> 00:41:16,735 Do you think it's okay just because I'm a man? 696 00:41:17,820 --> 00:41:19,196 Do it! 697 00:41:22,408 --> 00:41:24,535 You think it's okay Because she's a boy? 698 00:41:24,618 --> 00:41:27,079 That is homophobia. Just the fact that you feel funny. 699 00:41:27,162 --> 00:41:30,332 "Ooh, someone said take off your pants. That's not God's way. " 700 00:41:32,584 --> 00:41:34,336 Jesus Christ, you are a fanatic 701 00:41:35,546 --> 00:41:36,797 I, uh... 702 00:41:37,923 --> 00:41:40,759 The show has enough rock and roll so far. You know, I know that. 703 00:41:40,843 --> 00:41:42,428 And I... 704 00:41:42,511 --> 00:41:46,098 I want to keep it, But life isn't always rock and roll. 705 00:41:46,181 --> 00:41:48,100 I will not let go of my life. 706 00:41:48,183 --> 00:41:50,936 I go through pretty rough... 707 00:41:51,020 --> 00:41:53,147 uh, farewell recently. It has come a long time ago. 708 00:41:53,230 --> 00:41:56,108 Eh, we talked a lot about it, he and I But recently we talked... 709 00:41:56,191 --> 00:41:58,694 It's not new, but I remember that like yesterday, you know? 710 00:41:58,777 --> 00:42:01,947 He comes out of the bathroom, 711 00:42:02,031 --> 00:42:03,574 Her hair is wet, her shoulders are wet. 712 00:42:03,657 --> 00:42:06,410 That is a shower. This is water. 713 00:42:06,493 --> 00:42:09,455 714 00:42:11,165 --> 00:42:13,083 He turned to me and he said it... 715 00:42:14,460 --> 00:42:15,586 He said... 716 00:42:15,669 --> 00:42:16,962 ♫ It's over ♫ 717 00:42:19,465 --> 00:42:23,385 ♫ We shouldn't fight to stay together Just to fight again ♫ 718 00:42:23,469 --> 00:42:26,555 ♫ It's over We're not happy ♫ 719 00:42:26,638 --> 00:42:29,850 ♫ We need to take a short break From us to make us right again ♫ 720 00:42:29,933 --> 00:42:33,854 ♫ And even though it won't go away Further ♫ 721 00:42:33,937 --> 00:42:36,732 ♫ I swear I don't regret the second of that ♫ 722 00:42:36,815 --> 00:42:39,610 ♫ And when the dust has finished ♫ 723 00:42:39,693 --> 00:42:44,365 ♫ I hope we can still be friends ♫ 724 00:42:44,448 --> 00:42:45,449 Then I say... 725 00:42:45,532 --> 00:42:48,786 ♫ Eat dick ♫ 726 00:42:48,869 --> 00:42:50,996 ♫ Eat fucking dick, like this ♫ 727 00:42:52,039 --> 00:42:53,791 ♫ Use your dick gloves ♫ 728 00:42:53,874 --> 00:42:55,876 ♫ Prepare to devour his penis ♫ 729 00:42:55,959 --> 00:42:57,669 ♫ If you don't like this dick sitch ♫ 730 00:42:57,753 --> 00:42:59,254 ♫ Eat dick, bitch ♫ 731 00:43:10,057 --> 00:43:12,601 I think I made the right decision. 732 00:43:12,684 --> 00:43:14,269 ♫ Okay, you're angry ♫ 733 00:43:15,479 --> 00:43:16,855 ♫ I can see that ♫ 734 00:43:16,939 --> 00:43:20,526 ♫ But you don't need to make this more difficult Rather than having to ♫ 735 00:43:20,609 --> 00:43:22,403 ♫ I try to talk to you ♫ 736 00:43:22,486 --> 00:43:23,570 ♫ But you won't listen- ♫ 737 00:43:23,654 --> 00:43:24,738 ♫ Eat dick ♫ 738 00:43:24,822 --> 00:43:26,156 ♫ Wait Please let me - ♫ 739 00:43:26,240 --> 00:43:27,366 ♫ Eat dick ♫ 740 00:43:27,449 --> 00:43:28,700 Oh my God. 741 00:43:28,784 --> 00:43:30,494 ♫ Honestly, are you fucking five? ♫ 742 00:43:30,577 --> 00:43:32,955 ♫ I try to talk about this ♫ 743 00:43:33,038 --> 00:43:36,333 ♫ You refuse to listen to me ♫ 744 00:43:36,417 --> 00:43:38,877 I say how do I feel, okay 745 00:43:38,961 --> 00:43:42,881 And then you say... "eat dick" again and again. 746 00:43:42,965 --> 00:43:44,550 Does it look mature to you? 747 00:43:44,633 --> 00:43:47,553 ♫ No, no But look, I think the problem is ♫ 748 00:43:47,636 --> 00:43:48,887 ♫ I'm angry with my father ♫ 749 00:43:48,971 --> 00:43:50,764 ♫ And I'm not emotionally commenting ♫ 750 00:43:50,848 --> 00:43:53,016 ♫ So it's not honest and vulnerable ♫ 751 00:43:53,100 --> 00:43:55,436 ♫ I did a quick switch Because I'm sick inside ♫ 752 00:43:55,519 --> 00:43:57,771 ♫ And I tried to hide it So eating dick, man ♫ 753 00:44:06,530 --> 00:44:10,784 I think we have a future _, you fucking whore 754 00:44:10,868 --> 00:44:14,204 ♫ I don't think You will cry for me ♫ 755 00:44:15,122 --> 00:44:17,791 ♫ I don't think you care ♫ 756 00:44:17,875 --> 00:44:22,129 ♫ I thought you were Raged angrily ♫ 757 00:44:22,212 --> 00:44:26,508 ♫ But now I see you are afraid ♫ 758 00:44:26,592 --> 00:44:27,926 ♫ I'm afraid too ♫ 759 00:44:28,010 --> 00:44:30,179 ♫ Maybe we can solve it ♫ 760 00:44:30,262 --> 00:44:31,513 ♫ And don't break up ♫ 761 00:44:31,597 --> 00:44:32,723 Very? 762 00:44:32,806 --> 00:44:35,184 ♫ No, lick my clit ♫ 763 00:44:35,267 --> 00:44:36,602 ♫ Lick my mother's clitoris ♫ 764 00:44:36,685 --> 00:44:38,353 ♫ You think three bad tears ♫ 765 00:44:38,437 --> 00:44:39,813 ♫ Offsetting three bad years? ♫ 766 00:44:39,897 --> 00:44:41,732 ♫ I deserve better than you ♫ 767 00:44:41,815 --> 00:44:43,150 ♫ For me to get wet, then screw ♫ 768 00:44:43,233 --> 00:44:45,110 ♫ Sorry, you are not what I need, huh ♫ 769 00:44:45,194 --> 00:44:46,695 ♫ Lick this clitoris then leave, kid ♫ 770 00:44:57,206 --> 00:45:00,375 Hey, if you have fun, make it quiet. 771 00:45:00,459 --> 00:45:01,919 Cool. 772 00:45:02,002 --> 00:45:03,378 Uh... 773 00:45:04,421 --> 00:45:06,048 What is this event? 774 00:45:09,134 --> 00:45:11,220 What am I talking about, you know? 775 00:45:12,429 --> 00:45:16,350 For... to summarize the show, though... Me! I! I! 776 00:45:17,351 --> 00:45:18,977 But... 777 00:45:19,061 --> 00:45:21,730 if you take one thing from my show... 778 00:45:21,813 --> 00:45:24,399 I hope it's a shirt. We sell it out there. 779 00:45:24,483 --> 00:45:28,028 This is all the front of the brand. 780 00:45:30,822 --> 00:45:33,533 But what is this event? What do you think, industrial piping? 781 00:45:33,617 --> 00:45:35,202 close. 782 00:45:35,285 --> 00:45:36,787 Stay away. 783 00:45:39,539 --> 00:45:40,791 It's about... 784 00:45:43,752 --> 00:45:44,753 This mute 785 00:45:51,843 --> 00:45:54,680 But for real, what's wrong? 786 00:45:58,725 --> 00:45:59,893 It's about... 787 00:46:00,936 --> 00:46:02,562 do... 788 00:46:02,646 --> 00:46:04,064 I try to... 789 00:46:04,147 --> 00:46:05,565 ... make my show about something else, 790 00:46:05,649 --> 00:46:07,901 but always ends becomes about doing. 791 00:46:07,985 --> 00:46:11,655 I start to look very young, As a teenager, you know, professionally. 792 00:46:11,738 --> 00:46:13,657 And as a comedian, what should you do... 793 00:46:13,740 --> 00:46:15,575 You should talk about what you know 794 00:46:15,659 --> 00:46:17,577 And what I know always appears. 795 00:46:17,661 --> 00:46:21,957 So to talk about... traffic or laundry 796 00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:23,542 feel very dishonest. 797 00:46:23,625 --> 00:46:28,839 But I'm worried about making a show about its performance will also be meta. 798 00:46:28,922 --> 00:46:31,174 It will not be convinced that those people are not players. 799 00:46:31,258 --> 00:46:34,761 But what I found was that I don't think there are people who don't. 800 00:46:34,845 --> 00:46:37,306 Can we turn on the house lights for a moment? And can you... 801 00:46:37,389 --> 00:46:39,766 Let the lights on the stage... Let the knight fade away. 802 00:46:39,850 --> 00:46:42,811 Now we are all the same. 803 00:46:42,894 --> 00:46:46,773 I mean, you're all still facing here. 804 00:46:48,191 --> 00:46:51,153 You know, I looked out... I looked at you and, um... 805 00:46:52,029 --> 00:46:53,113 This is a very diverse crowd. 806 00:46:53,196 --> 00:46:55,365 I mean, more Europeans than I expected, but... 807 00:46:55,449 --> 00:46:57,200 we will get there 808 00:46:59,328 --> 00:47:00,704 If I see young people... 809 00:47:00,787 --> 00:47:03,749 You know, and I feel like... I was born in 1990 810 00:47:03,832 --> 00:47:08,003 and I was a little raised in America when it was a cult of self-expression. 811 00:47:08,086 --> 00:47:10,589 And I've just been taught, You know, express yourself 812 00:47:10,672 --> 00:47:13,967 and have lots of things to say and everyone will care about them. 813 00:47:14,051 --> 00:47:15,302 And I think everyone was taught that 814 00:47:15,385 --> 00:47:19,473 and most of us know No one cares about what we think. 815 00:47:19,556 --> 00:47:21,892 So we flock to artists by thousands of people 816 00:47:21,975 --> 00:47:24,102 Because we are a little who have found an audience. 817 00:47:24,186 --> 00:47:26,480 Then I have to get up from here and say, "Follow your dream," 818 00:47:26,563 --> 00:47:29,316 as if this is a meritocracy? No, okay? 819 00:47:29,399 --> 00:47:32,819 I have a special life and I am lucky and I am not happy. 820 00:47:35,322 --> 00:47:38,033 They say that... like my generation This isn't it. 821 00:47:38,116 --> 00:47:39,117 This is not... 822 00:47:39,201 --> 00:47:42,079 Pride is taught or it is cultivated. 823 00:47:42,162 --> 00:47:45,582 This... it's self-aware. That is what it is. This is... 824 00:47:45,665 --> 00:47:48,502 It's aware of yourself... Social media... 825 00:47:48,585 --> 00:47:52,839 it is only the market answer to the generation that demands to appear. 826 00:47:52,923 --> 00:47:55,842 So the market says, "This, do everything 827 00:47:55,926 --> 00:47:58,178 each other all the time without reason. " 828 00:47:58,261 --> 00:47:59,930 It's a prison, it's terrible. 829 00:48:00,013 --> 00:48:02,808 This is a player and audience together with 830 00:48:02,891 --> 00:48:05,685 What we want is more than lying in our bed at the end of the day and only see our lives as a satisfied audience member? 831 00:48:05,769 --> 00:48:08,522 I know a little about anything, But what I do know is that 832 00:48:08,605 --> 00:48:12,359 if you can live your life without an audience... 833 00:48:12,442 --> 00:48:15,278 You have to do it. And now you think... 834 00:48:18,448 --> 00:48:20,784 "How will you dig the show? out of this strange hole?" 835 00:48:20,867 --> 00:48:24,913 Oh, do you want me to be funny and make a point? 836 00:48:24,996 --> 00:48:27,040 Well, well, well, well, well, well, now. 837 00:48:27,124 --> 00:48:28,959 838 00:48:30,919 --> 00:48:34,172 Batman So how do we do it? 839 00:48:47,102 --> 00:48:48,437 We do it like this. 840 00:48:50,147 --> 00:48:52,149 I went to the new Kanye West tour, Tour Yeezus. 841 00:48:52,232 --> 00:48:54,526 The show is big, dramatic, and theatrical. 842 00:48:54,609 --> 00:48:56,653 He does something very strange at the end of the program 843 00:48:56,736 --> 00:48:59,739 where he nags... for, like, 20 minutes. 844 00:48:59,823 --> 00:49:01,199 That is a kind of harsh words, sort of song 845 00:49:01,283 --> 00:49:02,659 He adjusts his voice automatically 846 00:49:02,742 --> 00:49:04,536 and there are instrumental in the background... 847 00:49:04,619 --> 00:49:07,080 ... like this instrumental 848 00:49:08,915 --> 00:49:10,459 He talks about the problem... 849 00:49:11,501 --> 00:49:12,627 race... 850 00:49:13,795 --> 00:49:15,380 power. 851 00:49:15,464 --> 00:49:17,966 The $ 90 T-shirt doesn't sell well. 852 00:49:18,049 --> 00:49:20,760 That's mostly. And I see this. 853 00:49:22,179 --> 00:49:23,805 I thought maybe I could do this. 854 00:49:24,723 --> 00:49:26,099 I will be honest, my problem 855 00:49:26,183 --> 00:49:29,561 not as high as Kanye's, but I have a problem 856 00:49:30,604 --> 00:49:33,023 And maybe many people in New York will be good enough to spoil me. 857 00:49:33,106 --> 00:49:35,358 So when we get to the end of from the night of the theater... 858 00:49:35,442 --> 00:49:37,652 and comedy and sweaters come and turn off, 859 00:49:37,736 --> 00:49:39,488 I have one question for you... 860 00:49:43,366 --> 00:49:45,035 And that question is... 861 00:49:49,164 --> 00:49:54,503 ♫ Can I say my nonsense, New York? ♫ 862 00:49:54,586 --> 00:49:57,547 ♫ Can I say my nonsense? ♫ 863 00:49:57,631 --> 00:50:04,262 ♫ I have a lot of nonsense to say ♫ 864 00:50:09,768 --> 00:50:13,813 ♫ I can't adjust to my hands Inside Pringle can ♫ 865 00:50:13,897 --> 00:50:18,443 ♫ I have a lot of problems Inserting my hand into a Pringle can ♫ 866 00:50:18,527 --> 00:50:20,779 ♫ I can grab my hand Like four inches to the can ♫ 867 00:50:20,862 --> 00:50:23,532 ♫ But then I have to tilt the can To my mouth ♫ 868 00:50:23,615 --> 00:50:27,619 ♫ But at that time there were a lot of crumbs Accumulated at the bottom of the can ♫ 869 00:50:27,702 --> 00:50:30,872 ♫ So they're all gone Spilling on my face ♫ 870 00:50:30,956 --> 00:50:33,124 ♫ What I want to say Is the diameter of a Pringle can ♫ 871 00:50:33,208 --> 00:50:35,418 ♫ Too small ♫ 872 00:50:36,336 --> 00:50:37,420 ♫ I will say it again ♫ 873 00:50:37,504 --> 00:50:40,507 ♫ The diameter of a Pringle can Too small ♫ 874 00:50:40,590 --> 00:50:43,677 ♫ Two radius from Pringle can Too small ♫ 875 00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:45,679 ♫ If you feel me Put your hand ♫ 876 00:50:45,762 --> 00:50:46,805 ♫ Come on ♫ 877 00:50:46,888 --> 00:50:48,682 ♫ If you feel me Put your hand ♫ 878 00:50:49,891 --> 00:50:51,851 ♫ Look at all these hands It's too big ♫ 879 00:50:51,935 --> 00:50:54,187 ♫ To be compatible with Pringle can ♫ 880 00:50:54,271 --> 00:50:56,815 ♫ Your hand is too big To fit the Pringle can ♫ 881 00:50:56,898 --> 00:51:00,402 ♫ Your hand is too big To fit Pringle can ♫ 882 00:51:00,485 --> 00:51:01,987 ♫ You think you can ♫ 883 00:51:02,070 --> 00:51:04,155 ♫ I know you can't You think you can ♫ 884 00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:05,699 ♫ Pringles, listen to people ♫ 885 00:51:05,782 --> 00:51:08,076 ♫ I'm sure 90% From the complaint letter you get ♫ 886 00:51:08,159 --> 00:51:09,703 ♫ Is it about the width of your can ♫ 887 00:51:09,786 --> 00:51:11,621 Just... make them wider. 888 00:51:13,582 --> 00:51:16,001 I have surpassed the Pringles thing. Sorry. 889 00:51:17,377 --> 00:51:19,337 ♫ I want to have a daughter ♫ 890 00:51:20,255 --> 00:51:22,257 ♫ Want to have a daughter ♫ 891 00:51:22,841 --> 00:51:24,801 ♫ So finally I can Someone around the house ♫ 892 00:51:24,884 --> 00:51:26,720 ♫ Who can fit their hands? In Pringle can ♫ 893 00:51:26,803 --> 00:51:28,847 ♫ Yes, I'm still On Pringle cans ♫ 894 00:51:28,930 --> 00:51:32,517 Yes. I will... I will continue, okay? 895 00:51:33,768 --> 00:51:37,981 ♫ But it's a priority numero uno ♫ 896 00:51:39,399 --> 00:51:40,734 ♫ I don't go to the gym ♫ 897 00:51:40,859 --> 00:51:43,445 ♫ Because I'm self-conscious About my body ♫ 898 00:51:43,528 --> 00:51:44,779 ♫... body... ♫ 899 00:51:44,863 --> 00:51:46,823 ♫ But I'm self-aware About my body ♫ 900 00:51:46,906 --> 00:51:48,450 ♫ Because I don't go to the gym ♫ 901 00:51:48,533 --> 00:51:52,537 ♫ Irony can be very painful ♫ 902 00:51:52,621 --> 00:51:54,331 ♫ That catch-22 ♫ 903 00:51:58,627 --> 00:52:01,296 ♫ Let's do this ♫ 904 00:52:01,379 --> 00:52:04,341 ♫ I go to Chipotle ♫ 905 00:52:04,424 --> 00:52:06,926 ♫ Go to Chipotle ♫ 906 00:52:08,053 --> 00:52:10,930 ♫ Have your own chicken burrito ♫ 907 00:52:12,390 --> 00:52:15,226 ♫ I passed down I understand, all this material ♫ 908 00:52:15,310 --> 00:52:18,146 ♫ And then at the end of the line That person tries to wrap the burrito ♫ 909 00:52:18,229 --> 00:52:20,440 ♫ But half of dirt Inside the burrito spills out ♫ 910 00:52:20,523 --> 00:52:21,775 ♫ He still wraps it ♫ 911 00:52:21,858 --> 00:52:23,318 ♫ I, like "Dude, you should have warned me ♫ 912 00:52:23,401 --> 00:52:24,402 ♫ You are a burrito expert ♫ 913 00:52:24,486 --> 00:52:26,321 ♫ You should tell me Halfway through ♫ 914 00:52:26,404 --> 00:52:29,658 ♫ 'Hey, man, you might be able to reach it The maximum burrito capacity is here' ♫ 915 00:52:29,741 --> 00:52:31,826 ♫ Do you think I want a messy burrito? ♫ 916 00:52:31,910 --> 00:52:33,703 ♫ Nobody wants a messy burrito "♫ 917 00:52:33,787 --> 00:52:36,456 ♫ The overall appeal of a burrito Is that all the ingredients ♫ 918 00:52:36,539 --> 00:52:40,126 ♫ contained Within tortilla boundaries ♫ 919 00:52:40,210 --> 00:52:41,711 ♫ I won't get half this nonsense ♫ 920 00:52:41,795 --> 00:52:44,089 ♫ If I know it won't work In a burrito, okay? Look... ♫ 921 00:52:44,172 --> 00:52:47,008 ♫ I won't have lettuce If I know it's not suitable ♫ 922 00:52:47,092 --> 00:52:49,803 ♫ Will not get cheese If I know it doesn't suit ♫ 923 00:52:49,886 --> 00:52:52,514 ♫ Will not get peppers If I know they are not suitable ♫ 924 00:52:52,597 --> 00:52:55,642 ♫ I won't get it Half of it ♫ 925 00:52:55,725 --> 00:52:58,645 ♫ Like, I'm fine with small mistakes ♫ 926 00:52:58,728 --> 00:53:02,482 ♫ If you don't have chicken anymore I will take a pig ♫ 927 00:53:02,565 --> 00:53:07,821 ♫ But I will blow my dad Before I eat a burrito with a fork ♫ 928 00:53:07,904 --> 00:53:10,532 ♫ I won't have lettuce If I know it's not suitable ♫ 929 00:53:10,615 --> 00:53:13,284 ♫ Will not get cheese If I know it doesn't suit ♫ 930 00:53:13,368 --> 00:53:15,995 ♫ Will not get peppers If I know they are not suitable ♫ 931 00:53:16,079 --> 00:53:18,415 ♫ Humans, I won't get it Half of it, like ♫ 932 00:53:18,498 --> 00:53:21,251 ♫ Half of it, like Half of it, like ♫ 933 00:53:21,334 --> 00:53:23,253 ♫ Half of it, like Half of it ♫ 934 00:53:23,336 --> 00:53:25,922 ♫ Now, I think it's time ♫ 935 00:53:26,005 --> 00:53:30,719 ♫ I think it's time That we broke it ♫ 936 00:53:51,948 --> 00:53:53,116 ♫ I can sit here and pretend ♫ 937 00:53:53,199 --> 00:53:56,661 ♫ Like my biggest problem Are pringle cans ♫ 938 00:53:57,829 --> 00:53:59,706 ♫ And burritos ♫ 939 00:53:59,789 --> 00:54:03,042 ♫ The truth is I's biggest problem is you ♫ 940 00:54:03,126 --> 00:54:05,128 ♫ I want to please you ♫ 941 00:54:05,211 --> 00:54:07,172 ♫ But I want to remain loyal to myself ♫ 942 00:54:07,255 --> 00:54:09,841 ♫ I want to give you a night out It's worth you ♫ 943 00:54:09,924 --> 00:54:11,384 ♫ But I want to sing what I think ♫ 944 00:54:11,468 --> 00:54:13,595 ♫ And don't care What do you think about it ♫ 945 00:54:13,678 --> 00:54:16,598 ♫ Part of me loves you ♫ 946 00:54:16,681 --> 00:54:19,267 ♫ Part of me hates you ♫ 947 00:54:19,350 --> 00:54:22,061 ♫ Some of me needs you ♫ 948 00:54:22,145 --> 00:54:24,689 ♫ Part of me is afraid of you ♫ 949 00:54:24,773 --> 00:54:28,234 ♫ And I don't think That I can handle this now ♫ 950 00:54:28,318 --> 00:54:30,028 ♫ Handle this now ♫ 951 00:54:30,111 --> 00:54:38,578 ♫ I don't think That I can handle this now ♫ 952 00:54:38,661 --> 00:54:43,750 ♫ I don't think That I can handle this right ♫ 953 00:54:43,833 --> 00:54:46,336 ♫ Look at them They just look at me ♫ 954 00:54:46,419 --> 00:54:48,713 ♫ Like, "Let's and watch Thin kids ♫ 955 00:54:48,797 --> 00:54:53,218 ♫ By continuing to decline Mental health" ♫ 956 00:54:53,301 --> 00:54:58,181 ♫ And laugh when he tries to give you What can't he give to himself ♫ 957 00:54:58,264 --> 00:55:03,019 ♫ I don't think That I can handle this right ♫ 958 00:55:03,102 --> 00:55:05,522 ♫ But they don't even know Half of this right ♫ 959 00:55:05,605 --> 00:55:07,941 ♫ But they don't even know Halfway ♫ 960 00:55:08,024 --> 00:55:10,401 ♫ But I know I'm not a doctor ♫ 961 00:55:10,485 --> 00:55:14,864 ♫ I'm pushing I'm doing silly shows ♫ 962 00:55:14,948 --> 00:55:17,408 ♫ I should just keep quiet ♫ 963 00:55:17,492 --> 00:55:19,828 ♫ And do my work So here I go ♫ 964 00:55:22,914 --> 00:55:25,750 ♫ Will not get cheese If I know it doesn't suit ♫ 965 00:55:25,834 --> 00:55:28,503 ♫ Will not get peppers If I know they are not suitable ♫ 966 00:55:28,586 --> 00:55:30,672 ♫ I won't get half ♫ 967 00:55:30,755 --> 00:55:32,799 ♫ You can tell them anything ♫ 968 00:55:32,882 --> 00:55:37,136 ♫ If you make it funny Make rhymes ♫ 969 00:55:37,220 --> 00:55:39,430 ♫ And if they still don't understand ♫ 970 00:55:39,514 --> 00:55:42,267 ♫ Then you will run it once more ♫ 971 00:55:42,350 --> 00:55:44,185 ♫ I don't think That I can handle this right ♫ 972 00:55:44,269 --> 00:55:45,520 ♫ Oh! ♫ 973 00:55:45,603 --> 00:55:46,980 ♫ Handle this right ♫ 974 00:55:47,063 --> 00:55:48,064 ♫ Oh! ♫ 975 00:55:48,147 --> 00:55:49,941 ♫ Handle this right ♫ 976 00:55:50,024 --> 00:55:53,570 ♫ But you don't even know Half of this now ♫ 977 00:55:53,653 --> 00:55:55,864 ♫ Now ♫ 978 00:55:55,947 --> 00:55:57,448 ♫ Ha! ♫ 979 00:55:57,532 --> 00:55:59,492 ♫ Now ♫ 980 00:55:59,576 --> 00:56:02,245 ♫ Handle this correctly Handle this right ♫ 981 00:56:02,328 --> 00:56:04,873 ♫ Handle this now ♫ 982 00:56:04,956 --> 00:56:07,750 Thank you. Good night. I hope you are happy. 983 00:56:39,073 --> 00:56:40,533 Oh, good, that's just us. 984 00:56:59,677 --> 00:57:01,554 ♫ Now the show is finished ♫ 985 00:57:04,098 --> 00:57:08,478 ♫ I hope you have a trembling intestine or something that resembles pleasure ♫ 986 00:57:08,561 --> 00:57:11,064 ♫ And if you watch this thing alone ♫ 987 00:57:12,482 --> 00:57:13,608 ♫ You may not laugh ♫ 988 00:57:13,691 --> 00:57:16,527 ♫ But maybe several times you come out of your nose ♫ 989 00:57:18,238 --> 00:57:20,573 ♫ But if you hate it, it's fair ♫ 990 00:57:20,657 --> 00:57:22,408 ♫ But anyway ♫ 991 00:57:22,492 --> 00:57:26,537 ♫ Can you find a little more time? For separate questionnaires? ♫ 992 00:57:27,455 --> 00:57:29,999 ♫ On a scale from one to zero ♫ 993 00:57:30,083 --> 00:57:32,085 ♫ Are you happy? ♫ 994 00:57:32,168 --> 00:57:34,003 ♫ Because you are alone from here ♫ 995 00:57:34,087 --> 00:57:37,215 ♫ So, are you happy? ♫ 996 00:57:37,298 --> 00:57:39,717 ♫ I'm open to suggestions ♫ 997 00:57:39,801 --> 00:57:41,970 ♫ Are you happy? ♫ 998 00:57:42,053 --> 00:57:46,057 ♫ But what kind of question is that? "Am I happy?" ♫ 999 00:57:46,140 --> 00:57:49,978 ♫ I really want to try to be happy And I think I can get it ♫ 1000 00:57:50,061 --> 00:57:53,773 ♫ If I don't always panic Every time I am unhappy in life ♫ 1001 00:57:57,235 --> 00:57:59,404 ♫ Which is stupid? I don't even want it if I get it ♫ 1002 00:58:07,620 --> 00:58:09,998 ♫ So if you know or ever know how to ♫ 1003 00:58:10,081 --> 00:58:12,292 ♫ Have fun ♫ 1004 00:58:12,375 --> 00:58:14,836 ♫ On a scale from the second one now ♫ 1005 00:58:14,919 --> 00:58:17,171 ♫ Are you happy? ♫ 1006 00:58:17,255 --> 00:58:19,716 ♫ You all hate you ♫ 1007 00:58:19,799 --> 00:58:22,176 ♫ Are you happy? ♫ 1008 00:58:22,260 --> 00:58:24,595 ♫ Hey, look, Ma I made it ♫ 1009 00:58:24,679 --> 00:58:27,348 ♫ Are you happy? ♫